#maybe it was because i was just having fun and wasnt restricting what i did or said
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18, 17, 4, 9, 16 + prezmek
prezmek... thats a lot of questions so im putting it under the read more. makes me so happy to talk about him
17 - how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?
well summer is the time of harvest, so he would usually help with that. But as for free time; he would probably hang around his siblings and play with them maybe, especially with Lena (i imagine both of them rough playing as children because everything in their family is tough and rough. At least that was fun), or he would just stare at the sky or would try to catch fish in the river with his bare hands or something. I think he was rather boring even as a kid
18 - their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?
master zero opinions on anything... he doesnt appreciate being lied to but he also just cant bring himself to feel anything real about it. Even with someone like Ryba, the lie would have to be pretty big to actually affect him. I think hes just a bit miserable like that. He has no opinions on stealing as long as its not him who is being robbed or hes not the one who will get in trouble, but he wouldnt steal himself. But i suppose it all depends, in modern au Ryba tends to shoplift and i just cant imagine Przemek caring about it, especially if he gets something out of it
4 - how crafty/resourceful are they?
this made me look up the crafty and resourceful definitons. that does not mean what i thought it did. well either way hes not very smart and his way of dealing with everything in life is to be vaguely miserable and soldier on instead of actually solving the problem outright. hell either wait for it to pass, get used to it or do something about it if it starts to get life threatening bad
9 -favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?
Przemek will eat anything you give him because he doesnt like to waste food and eats a lot... very much not picky. His favourites are rosół, schabowy and jabłecznik... which is the most basic polish dinner you can possibly imagine. He also really likes alcohol. he would make for a perfectly average polish dad
16 - do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?
if he wasnt so tired all the time he would like to have a dog. His family probably has one or more back home but hes not really there
#duch na strychu#ask game#i dont have the time to answer all the asks so ill just do one every day for the rest of time (june). well whatever. oc microdosing
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I HAD A REVELATION
okay so I was thinking about gender. My gender. And my feelings about being a cis girl over time.
When I was little I used to wear all kinds of dresses and wore nail polish and even occasionally makeup (but like. Sloppily as a 7 year old would lol) and how overtime I stopped wearing nail polish and stopped wearing dresses and despised make up. I dont really remeber why I stopped with nail polish. Maybe because it flaked off too easily or maybe I was sick of the few colors we had idk. I know I gradually stopped wearing dresses and night gowns because I was sick of being told I couldnt "put my legs up [up against the wall or just straight up in the air] or that I had to sit a certain way while wearing one. So I wore more and more pants.
I think about how i used to stand in the toys aisles while my mom did grocery shopping and look at "The Boys" section and think how much cooler it was than the girls section.
And I think about how my music teacher told us one day we'd hit puberty and we'd grow and us girls would be like "[in a high pitched voice] OH MY GOSH I LOVE BOYS AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO" and I looked over at my classmates and friends to see if they were also terrified of becoming annoying teenage boy-obsessed girls.
And i think about how when I was at my friend's house and we were building "tree forts" in the woods i would wish I had a penis for the convenience of being able to just go pee behind a tree, because squatting near the ground was Not Fun and I hated walking all the way back to the house. And I think about how I hated that I'd have to wear a bra once my boobs started to come in
Now you might be thinking. Friend I think you want[ed] to be a boy. But the thing is, i dont.
I may have hated being restricted in dresses but I dont actually hate them. I've gotten a couple dresses in the last 10 years (for prom and graduation and a [not my] wedding) and how I actually did like how I looked in them and enjoyed wearing them for that time.
I think about how I was jealous of the boys selection of toys, but also how I had a ton of barbies that I massively enjoyed and how if I'd been a boy I probably wouldnt have been able to enjoy them (thanks to pressure from society) as well as a bunch of other "girly" items and shows and movies. I think about how I'm actually Asexual and that I wasnt scared of becoming "a young woman", I just didnt understand the obsession with sex/romance/boyfriend&girlfriend stuff.
And while having a penis is more convenient for peeing I also remeber thinking that it would suck to get kicked in the balls and/or that trope of falling on soemthign between your legs that happens in so many movies (not that it feels any better with a vagina honestly). And that if I had been born a boy I'd most likely have to deal with all the toxic masculinity forced on me, and I'm glad I dont have to deal with that.
And while me and my boobs dont always get along, I remember that after getting my first cute bra, I thought. Oh well maybe this isnt so bad. And I mostly wear sports bras now because I do wish they were smaller and I HATE that so many bras (EVEN THE SPORTS BRAS) are already padded into cup shapes, and while I don't mind Having Boobs, i Do Not want to show them off. And sometimes i think that maybe i wouldn't mind chopping them off, but then i think how my figure/outline/silhouette would look with out them, and that seems worse.
And i think about the times I've accidentally been called "Sir" from tired fast food employees when wearing gender nonspecific clothing and felt happy about it. But not "oh it feels right to be called sir/he/him" , but more of "hehe I fooled you! You thought this was a dress but its pants!"
And really this is all to say. I was born a girl and grew up that way so it's what I'm used to. If I'd been born with a dick then I guess I'd be a guy. If you magically stuck me in a male body right now, would I feel like a Guy or feel like a girl in a guys body? I honestly dont know. So am I non binary? Maybe that that doesnt quite feel right either.
Being a girl is what I've grown up as and into, and it's what I'm used to and going by anything else is… odd. Maybe itd be better and maybe it wouldnt. It's like an old blanket. You've had it forever and maybe its frayed and patched maybe a little too small and it's not what people expect you to have for a blanket, and maybe you could do with a new one. But nothing feels right with out it. No other blanket feels the same. It's what you're used to and its familar. It's a comfort blanket.
And that's why being a [cis] girl is my comfort gender.
#Sorry that got LONG#This is a very personal post and I dont mind it being reblogged if anyone wants to#But dont be weird about it please. Dont tell me I'm an egg or actually trans or nb. Cause I'm not#*points at post* I'm a girl. It's my comfort gender :)#(edit: I don't mind if the 'wrong' pronouns get used. Like if someone uses he or they for me I'm not gonna be upset#I more just dont want labels put on my gender besides cis or comfort gender )#Man I need that post where it's like so many asexual people are removed from gender. Cause yeah that kinda fits#Maybe I'm agender or soemthing. But mostly I'm Chill With Being A Girl#Also feel free to also totally ignore this post#I'm just rambling about thoughts#Gender identity#Comfort gender#Its after midnight so I apologize if none of this makes sense or like. There are unfinished thoughts lol
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As much as i love vore i don't think it should be uploaded on public games where little kids can easily click in and play, except if it's nothing detailed like grumbling or highly textured stomach with saliva and it's just a silly game. A good example is "get eaten", that game is fun jajdjsjajashs
I remember before when there was a lot of unbanned vore games on roblox and i always felt uncomfortable because i KNEW someone made those with fetish intentions, or some didnt but it was still weird to publish it when there wasnt the age limit option. Most of them got banned (thank you mods ;-;) and the only vore games that exist now are abandoned, probably because they didnt have the same quality as the banned ones or were just forgotten, but i did find some that were rather... Detailed in full tour (it had the small and big intestines) but for some reason they arent as popular as they were when they were first created.
Another type of vore games that exist on roblox too are the ones that cost robux, a lot of robux, and it's also age restricted to 13+. The creator said that it's worth it in the description, i didnt trust it so i went to check on Youtube if there was a gameplay of the games he created aaand... It was really worth it, the thing that bothered me is that the woman model haves big boobs but idk i think thats just me, the avatar of the creator also looked kinda weird but i'm not gonna name him to protect his identity, he had that gacha full blush and a shaded stomach t shirt. I also found on the models he downloaded a "plump" body shape that was weirdly detailed, i checked the creator and it was banned lol, i found some models of women in bath suits or close to that, eating animations/scripts and all that. And i'm wondering: if he haves those models, why doesnt he age his games up to 17+? Is he naive? Does he makes these games with no sexual intentions or there is? Does he always use those models? I really don't know what to say about him, but he sure knows how to keep his vore games restricted.
Uhhh to end this rambling, if ya wanna make a vore game on roblox please keep it sfw, age it up to 13+, don't make the stomach too detailed since it will get you banned, do a group so the game is only accessible to the members and be careful of the trolls who want to report the game, maybe you'll get banned thanks to them but atleast you didnt break any of the roblox's ToS. What do yall think?
#vore talk#vore rambles#swwh#nonsexual vore#nonsexual vore community#sfw vore community#swallowed whole#extreme cuddling#vorarefixation
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i’ve only cosplayed like... three times maybe? and every time it was a closet cosplay with minimal effort put in because i hate being uncomfortable!!!!! if the clothes take too long to put on, or they restrict my movement, i dont want it !!!!
in 2010 i was saix kingdom hearts, i just sprayed my hair blue and got a hoodie and put some beads on it and used a little makeup on my face, but that was it lol
i know i cosplayed again after that but i can NOT for the life of me remember who or what or when...
then recently, i went out as futaba sakura p5 and it was fun, i already kinda dress like her so it wasnt hard, i just got a wig and fake glasses... i did my own spin on it tho bc the local con is in the middle of february and its freezing cold and i didnt wanna wear shorts or have to change any time i wanted to go outside lmao...
anyway !!!!!
thats my mini cosplay log !!!
#i wanna go as tsukasa sometime but im deathly afraid of someone attacking me for cultural appropriation or whatever#hahahahahaha#i wanna go to the arcade dressed up as tsukasa#its acceptable if its at a convetion right#but if i go just outside for no reason..........#im scared...
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Nothing has made me happier than this one time when a 3rd grader called me wholesome when I was playing Minecraft Multiplayer and I literally cried
#not sure why i wanted to share this. but i did#anyways...#maybe it was because i was having a bad day#maybe it was because i hadnt thought i had any likeable traits for a good several years before then#maybe it was because i was just having fun and wasnt restricting what i did or said#and even though i wasnt trying to people-please somebody still liked me#maybe it was because most kids will tell you exactly what they are thinking and not hold anything back even if its mean#and thst just made it more genuine#im just.... reminiscing. on things that made me happy :)#txt.post#mine#higuu.rambles
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Did DLS Out DD During a DDU Recording and Make Him Cry?
This has been making the rounds on Twitter and YouTube and even Tumblr, for a while now. Fancam footage of DLS making a boyfriend joke and then leaning in to a supposedly upset DD and trying to smooth things over.
This whole thing is based on fancam footage taken during the recording of the DDU 20190825 episode. In this episode dating was being discussed using four beautiful young women, DD and QF along with two handsome young guests as a backdrop.
The subtitles of the fan cam present a scenario where DLS supposedly refers to DD as ‘not needing a girlfriend because he already has a boyfriend’ and then leaning into a supposedly emotional DD and apologizing, trying to calm him down; saying viewers won’t understand what was said.
Let’s take a look at the video:
youtube
The full fan cam footage that this out of context clip was taken from can be found here.
If you watch the episode and the complete fan cam footage, you’ll see that this happened during the segment where they were being asked to comment on various dating scenarios. An announcer would present each scenario in a multiple choice format, asking the women to choose between four options based on the type of guy they’d most like to date. For example:
How would you like the boy you like to invite you for a meal on the weekend?
A] Save your weekend for me. Do not say no.
B] You had breakfast at 7:50 this morning and lunch at 12:30. It’s already 7pm now. You have to eat meals on time. Why don’t I take you out for dinner?
C] I tried to explain my thoughts when I look at you, but I failed. So do you have time for dinner with me this weekend? Let’s talk about it.
D] Get out. Dinner.
My opinion
We should always, always be suspicious of anything that is presented without context. 99.9% of the time, when someone removes context they are doing so to mislead audiences. This clip is a perfect example of that. The video creator appears to have removed important context in order to make the clip better fit the narrative they’re trying to sell.
In this segment of the episode, the hosts and guests were seen commenting on the options as they were being read out. The comments DLS is making appear to be in response to something the announcer has said. I don’t think the comments have anything whatsoever do to with DD.
I also don’t think DD looks even remotely upset. Certainly not near tears. Some fans seem over-eager to claim DD is crying. We’ve all seen DD cry, but it’s exceptionally rare and only happens in very personal situations. This doesn’t qualify. It wouldn’t qualify even if everything the video creator claimed was true. DD would be more likely to get angry than cry in such a situation. He isn’t doing either of these things.
Whoever made this video simply doesn’t ‘get’ DD’s personality at all. The people who buy this are similarly unfamiliar with him.
I invite everyone to use your own eyes and your own judgment. Ignore what’s being claimed, ignore the framing you’ve been given of the scenario by me or the video creator, and instead just watch the clip. Does that look like a man on the verge of tears to you?
Second and third opinions
I asked the indispensable @potteresque-ire and @knivescharade what they thought of the clip. I didn’t tell them anything about my opinion, but simply sent the clip and asked their thoughts - are the subtitles correct, what do you think of the lip reading, etc.
@knivescharade
wow, for this person to put this analysis in i would say that lip reading is a very difficult skill. and to try and lip read someone like DLS, who speaks like a bullet train and doesn't really enunciate SUPER well (unlike Han-ge, for example) ... i would say the interpretation is only very vaguely possible at best.
i know both the cand int fandom have a major something for how WYB keeps swallowing around XZ, but honestly. WYB tends to get throat issues. i think swallowing has become one of his habits at this point. so... in conclusion... there are already lots of major, amazing, and irrefutable candies in the fandom already, let's not bother with such iffy ones :D
he is indeed saying that "this man has a boyfriend", but i cant quite remember which part of the show that was in. i watched that episode, it was something to do with love and having 4 guys paired with 4 girls or something like that, and listening to 'types of guys responses to etc etc' so DLS wasnt saying that WYB has a boyfriend - he was saying that 'this man', the one whose voice was playing in the audio, has a boyfriend.
That tracks with my interpretation of what was happening.
@potteresque-ire
Unless people have learned the dialect, Mandarin speakers cannot understand Cantonese, and vice versa. This is why I don't support or wash auditory candies, especially if it involves someone from Northern China (such as DLS, who is a Beijing native). Their local accents make their Mandarin even more difficult to understand.
This dialect restriction is actually not specific to a me, or other Hong Kongers. Someone whose family is entirely from Northern China would be equally prone to making mistakes if they're asked to lip read southern Chinese.
Lip reading also removes tonal consideration, which makes everything that much more uncertain. Have you heard of the Mr Shi Eats the Lion story? This is why, even if I hear some similarities, I'd hesitate to say X has to be saying ABC. Context is important.
Cantonese speakers are especially picky about tone. Mandarin have 4. We have 6 or 9, depending on who you ask. So... I may be more picky than I should be that way too. And I don't want to spoil anyone's fun 😊
The translation was correct in the sense that it was faithful to the Chinese words in the clip I saw, which replicated what DLS said accurately. But the video itself was from a fancam. Where that fancam happened (and got cut off) was at Q3 at the Q & A segment, starting ~9:34 of the official YouTube clip.
DLS said what he said half way through the voiceover of Option A (very precisely, right after the words "I'm the only one"). Technically speaking, therefore, he wasn't talking about DD.
However, it was also a little strange why DLS said what he said. If you watch that segment, all options have a certain personality attached to them. C was very talkative / pretentious. D was connected to DD because it was blunt and direct. A was the so called "overbearing CEO" personality... which is common in het romance dramas but isn't one that has been connected to the gay stereotype. And so, DLS's timing of saying that ... is curious.
Dd did look a little ... I wouldn't say upset, but tense after DLS said that. Maybe it's because that comment kinda came out of nowhere (because of its curious timing), and so it would be read as hinting at something. But that comment is harmless, wording wise.
Alternate theory
I’ve seen some talk from fans about a different theory for why DLS said what he said. Fans say the announcer for option A was Bian Jiang, the actor who did the voice of LWJ in The Untamed. They say that DLS was making a joke about LWJ not needing a boyfriend because he already has one. That actually makes a lot of sense to me as well, and if that’s really Bian Jiang, then I’d say that’s the most likely explanation for this entire thing.
Conclusion
It’s my firm opinion that DLS was not talking about DD having a boyfriend, nor was DD ‘near tears’ in this clip. Whatever DLS said to DD after that, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been ‘words of comfort to placate an upset DD’.
The Bian Jiang theory fits best, but we don’t need to know why DLS said what he said to be able to conclude he wasn’t talking about DD.
Cute DD candy from this episode
If anyone wants a better candy from this episode, look no further than when he emerges from “door #2″, chosen by one of the women as someone she’d like to date based on the food he’d picked out, and immediately launches into “I want to take a man back to my place and hide him.” A LWJ reference (which DLS and Wang Han clarify with him because they appear baffled by what he just said), but still a tactful, perfect rejection of this woman he’s being paired with. 😅
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Evidence that there is a plan for robert to return. Thinking about this makes me feel better, somewhat. Share any thoughts and I will update the list. Seriously. The more evidence the better. I'm sure I missed something
1. How Robert's story ended. It is unfair to the fans. They could have given him a tragic ending that gave us closure. But instead they ripped them apart. Why end it that way and upset the fans, unless its not really the end?
2. Aaron losing seb. There are plenty of stories they could tell about a single, gay dad. Arguements with Rebekah, seb missing robert, Seb getting sick or injured. Aaron struggling to be a dad and business owner. Aaron setting up playdates and interacting with other parents or kids. Even struggling to date because he has a kid. There is no shortage of stories. It's as if they just want aaron to be miserable. But why make him miserable?
3. No news about ryan Hawley. He didn't seem to quit for a better opportunity. He doesnt seem to have a new job so what is he doing? Hypothetically he may just be spending time with his family or traveling and wants to take a break. If so, he will come back.
4. There was an interview about ryan leaving(I cant find it or I would share its location) but danny and ryan were asked something like : are there plans for Robert to come back? And Danny's answer was something like: I dont want to give any spoilers. To me, spoilers implies that there is something to spoil. He didn't give a vague answer like it's a possibility, instead saying spoilers
5. Robert is still mentioned. And he is mentioned in such a way that maybe aaron is accepting his loss. For this to be a good story, they cant just have aaron miserable and then magically fixed when robert comes back.
6. Ryan's hair. Assuming the pics are really him, then his hair has gotten long. I have never seen him like that in anything hes ever been in. So I am choosing to assume the long hair is for his robert character. Like robert isnt taking care of his appearance in prison.
7. Danny Miller's Twitter post with a reply from rugtree bonds. I am being optimistic, but I dont think they would both torture us with that if ryan wasnt returning
8. Daisy's pregnancy. I had assumed ryan was just taking time off for personal reasons. Finding out that daisy is something like 5 months pregnant adds credence to the idea they wanted some time off, alone, to have some fun before the baby, and now that the baby will be here in maybe December, it's possible that he plans to come back to work.
9. Living in Leeds. They seem to still live in leeds and are de decorating a nursery there. Since leeds isnt great for acting jobs, Ryan must be planning on staying with ED
10. Ben and aaron. Still early so dont know how this will work out, but it seems like this story is rushed. Like they missed so much time due to covid and now they need to finish this story in an accelerated way to keep up their long term robert returning schedule. Also Ben is already a name used in a british soap for a gay character in a famous relationship. I really doubt the writers would use the same name for an important long term character in a gay storyline.
11. As of oct 14, it's been 11 1/2 months. And robert is still mentioned. The divorce was finalized. Aaron looks at his ring finger. Theres the wedding photo in the pub. If a soap wanted to get rid of a character they wouldnt bother with all this
12. Lee's brother hit lee the same day Robert did. It's a plausible way for Robert's sentence to be reduced.
13. Robert is refusing to appeal his sentence. It's likely robert would want aaron to think that he isnt going to appeal, even while he actually does. So aaron doesnt get disappointed if it fails.
14. Kayak boy still makes no sense. I think they're dragging his story along so there will be some tension when Robert does come back.
I think robert was expected back a few weeks after kayak boy showed up, but the show chose to wait until covid filming restrictions were gone. Which at this rate could be never since there is a delta variant, and in a few months will be others since viruses mutate
I know some of these are me grasping, and nothing I wrote is definitive, but I need to be optimistic
If anybody has any thoughts please share and I can update this list.
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I got a friend request from an obvious catfish on facebook and they just messaged me and Im messing with them. Acting all innocent while they are trying to get me to get on webcam with them. They are pretending to be a pretty blonde girl but every single friend they have is a young guy from India. Wild. I am trying to tell them frog facts.
Honestly I am just glad today is over. It wasnt even a bad day, my arm just really hurts and I feel a lot of stress in my stomach. I just wish James was home. I wish I didnt have to go to work. But that may not be a problem for much longer. But Ill get to that.
I slept a little better last night and didnt wake up as miserable. I got up and scrolled on my phone for a little but then I felt pretty good and got up and dressed and I loved my outfit and I just felt really nice. I hugged on James for a little bit and then I was off to work.
It wasnt a bad day at all. I am so glad I wont be alone anymore next week, but it wasnt a bad time. I mostly worked on my store and read my book. I did miss having stuff to sew but thats alright. Im going to get things prepped this weekend so I will have things to do.
The kids were better about just doing their work today. And at the end of the day I checked a bunch of their school sites and was very proud of them for how caught up they were. One of them had everything completed! Amazing! So proud.
We never made it outside today but the kids were kinder to eachother and played in the gym. I had brought a wrench and fixed the tightness on the skateboard trucks. Felt much better to ride on them both. The kids are getting better at riding them too and its cool to see that. I for sure am on the look out for some cheap boards at the thrift store.
I had a nice lunch and had a nice day with my kids. But I also just felt a lot of stress. About being out of the house. About everything in the world. About our governor undermining the mayors of the counties that are putting stronger restrictions in place. And no one knows if school is going to go back in session in January. So I went to talk to Mr Burns about the contracts. They are supposed to go through the 23rd but then I dont know.
And basically what he told me was that the PAL sites all had a meeting yesterday and a lot of the sites are very unhappy with their teachers and feel very frustrated and dont want to continue the program. Except my site! Mr Burns says they got the best teacher, and they have had no problems with me at all. I was so flattered. And I barely do shit so I cant imagine what these other teachers are doing! But even though they like me and have no problems at this site, the contract seems to be with the entire county and so if all the other sites are unhappy they might cancel the contract and Ill be out of the job. Im not that worried. James has had some really promising interviews lately and my store is going well so itll be fine. But it has been nice to have something consistent, even for a little while.
I was very glad to be done at the end of the day. I had had fun helping my kids start sewing, and I had fun playing card games. But I was hungry and ready to get out of there!
I packed up and said goodbye to everyone. Wished them a good weekend and headed out. I stopped at burgerking and ate all the fries on the way home. But soon enough I was back at the apartment and so glad to be.
I set up in the dungeon with my burger and somehow knocked over my drink. Soda flipped over. Ugh. I cleaned that up and had my burger and felt dumb but I was excited to see the snow on our animal crossing island! Jess said she was able to build a snowman so I had to run around trying to figure that out. But I didnt have enough grass space. So I made some of those. And later on I was able to log back on and find some snowballs and made my first snow man. It was very exciting.
I packed up some more orders as well. And I cut some fabric. But I was tired and so I laid in the studio and I guess I laid on my arm weird because it still hurts, hours later. I was feeling pretty low, pretty bummed out. I tried to start wrapping some gifts but it didnt help me feel much better. I did some dishes. And now I am hanging out and I think I will take a bath and drink some water and try to be positive.
I am really excited to have the weekend off. I am hoping to maybe go to a park tomorrow. Just enjoy a nice day. I hope you all sleep well. Goodnight everyone!!
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OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava
u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3
i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.
and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe
THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀
she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!
READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK.
im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!
hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.
i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together
yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)
“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA
this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D
402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable
WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN
i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.
YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!
and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe)
THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.
IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P
ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.
ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3
ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3
I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3
#ava <3#i know u are offline rn but i hope everythings going well with u!#i cant believe ur out here validating all my anxieties oof <333
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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)
well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped
I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.
#long post#hinatalks#we live in a society#fr fr#when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it#i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to
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Hyunnie Baby
Hyunnie Baby
A/N~ Hi my Hyunniebuns. lol that was head ass. But okay so like i need yall to understand something. JEONGIN WILL NOT BE HAVING SEX IN THIS!!! but like he will be in some makeout sessions??? and if yall want more then maayybbeee. but like i know damn well half of hall were crazy at his age, so like sorry im a hardstan. like idk how to be soft. anywaysss...i wasnt going to post this, but when i seen it was over 10,000+ words I was like why not.
Let me know if you would like to see more!
Warning: They are hybrids, so like yea. Also idk if things happend fast, and tbh i was stoned asf most of the time writing this. LOL. yea im warning yall, this might be a horrible story .-_-.
Pairing~ lynxhyunjin X human yn X africanwilddogjeongin
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Jeongin-17/18 Hyunjin-18/19 Reader-20/21 (whatever age makes you happiest lmao)
You look up at the sign above you. E-Hybrids, it was a simple all black sign with white words. It was about a mile out of town. It had to have enough space to have suitable for all of the different Hybrids. This place let you adopt exotice hybrids. The government allows all sorts of hybrids to be adopted, only because they are hybrids.
You took time to do your research about hybrids. You found out that they weren’t able to actually shift into the animal they are, they just have a few characteristics. They were like test tube babies. They were made in a lab with human and animal DNA. They were made to be lovers, to be best friends, or to just be company. Whatever you want. But of course not everyone treats them right. Some were treated as actual pets, like actual trash.
You knew you always wanted a hybrid. You lived alone for that reason alone. You recently bought a home that had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. You've always dreamed about having one in your home, to be your best friend.
Honestly, you didn't know much people. You were always the odd one out. Everyone around you would remind you all the time about how different you were. Just because you were a little bigger than others doesn't mean you were different. But I guess that's how society works.
You dated two boys in your 20 years. But one just had a chub kink and one dated you because he was dared to.
But now at this point you tried not to care about anyone but yourself. You knew that hybrids would love you as long as you loved them. So maybe getting one would help your loneliness. They would love you no matter what. But you were nervous, because maybe your body is the main factor, if a hybrid couldn't be your friend then because of your body then you don't know what you would do. You were big boned, so you were always going to be thick.
You didn't care if your future hybrid didn't like you as a lover, a simple friendship would make you feel a lot better. But your heart jumped at the thought of them loving you, it made you giddy.
You walk up to the counter where a little red haired girl stand.
“Hello. Welcome to E-Hybrids, are you looking to adopt today?” She asks with a bright smile. You felt a little shy, and you didn't want to stutter so you just nod and smile a little. You tuck your hair behind you ears when she nodded back and pulled out a clipboard with some paper and a pen attached to it.
“I need you to fill this out. To make it easier choosing, we take what you fill out and we match you up to a couple of different hybrids to you, just to make everything easier. If that doesn't work then we can take you back, but it usually works” she explains and you nod along, showing that you understand. You read it through and start filling everything out. Your name, birthday, source of income, plus some more basic info. Then there was some on the type of animal you would like. You didn't want to put too much restriction on it, so you put feline or canine. The age you wanted, you put 18-21. There were some others and you quickly fill it out. Once you were finished you noticed that the lady was gone, so you stood and waited.
About five minutes later she comes back out of a door.
“Sorry, I was just getting the presenting room ready.” She explains and you hand over the clipboard. She quickly reads over it and she nods unclipping it and opening a sliding window off to the side and passing it through. Someone pops up and grabs it closing the window back.
“Okay, so my co-worker just took back your preferences to find hopefully you future hybrid. I noticed that you put canine or feline. I hope you know that here we have exoctic hybrids, so they won't be your normal dog and house cat.”
“Right, right.” Ah you were getting excited.
“Okay, so a few more things. The price depends on the hybrid you get, but if you would like to take them home today it will be a extra grab per hybrid.” You quickly nod. Suddenly a loud ding rings through the lobby area. “Perfect, so they found…” she looks down at the computer that also dinged with the louder one. “Three that matched your preferences. I will lead you to the presenting room, because they are part human, so you will be able to ask any questions you will like.” She smiles, she walks over to the gate that could let you through. She leads you through the door she came out of earlier.
It was a simple white room with two doors. One you come in and another. There was also a single chair.
“You sit here, we will give you ten minutes with each. After that just let me know who you want another ten with. After you are done meeting, either let me know if you are ready to choose, or let me know if you would like to see others. Have fun.” She smiles and leaves.
You sit down in the chair and you wait. You quickly look down and fix your posture and pull your shirt down a little to cover your gut up a little.
You were so nervous. You didn't have a certain type, but out of all of the hybrids you've seen, you've always felt drawn more towards the asian ones.
Suddenly the door opens. You head snaps to the other door and in comes the cutest little thing you've ever seen. He kept his eyes down as he walked towards you. His ear twitched which caught you eyes and you noticed how they were big and black, they were rounded with some tan spots. His hair was black and messy. He was wearing some black sweats and a white t-shirt. He walks in front of you and falls to his knees. He leans back on his heels so he sits comfortably.
You remembered on one of the websites you read that some hybrids are scared of meeting new people so they automatically submit so no one was afraid of them.
“Hi, I'm YN.” You say softly. You knew to start slow, let them get used to you. His ear twitched a little at the sound of your voice. “What’s your name?” you urge him on. You hoped you weren’t scaring him.
Slowly his head starts to raise and his eyes connect to yours. His eyes widen when he took you in and you did the same. He was beautiful. His skin was so smooth and clear. His eyes are mono lidded which made the way he looked at you so much more intense.
“I'm Jeongin. My human side is Korean, and my animal side is African Wild Dog.” He says bowing his head down and then his eyes connect to yours once again. “What about you?” His head tilts a little and it was like his eyes were shining at you.
“Oh, I'm African American and Caucasian.” You say softly. You couldn't keep eye contact with him for long. His stare made your whole body buzz with nervousness. You looked down at your fingers, you started to fiddle with them.
“Oh? We both have some African in us?” His voice comes out a little higher. Your eyes snapped to his and he was smiling really big. It took you by surprise when you seen braces in his mouth. He must of seen the change in your emotions because his face fell.
“It's the braces huh? The other say that braces are dorky, so no one will want me.” He mumbles. You remembered reading that Hybrids were raised to be almost perfect. So by 18, they would have straight teeth from having to wear braces.
“Jeongin, how old are you?” You ask, remembering you put down 18-21. But his eyes widen and he leans up on his knees.
“I was told about your age range, I'm 17, but I fit all of the other things you written down but the age part. They were hoping it was okay.” He was panicking a little. His eyes were wide as his ears flattened against his head a little.
“Oh it's okay! It's okay.” You say trying to calm him down a little. You grab his hand unsure how to calm him. When you did his body tensed up and he squeezed your hand back and his eyes look down at them.
“I'm sorry, It just….I actually fit someones wants, and I was scared at first.” His eyes look back to you, his ears start to perk back up. “You are really really beautiful, I would love for you to adopt me YN.” He says and he raises your hand up to his lip and it shocked you when his lips touched the back of your hand and they were so soft. After his cheeks were burning red. You couldn't help but to giggle a little at how cute he was being.
“Did someone teach you that? Or did you come up with that all on your own?” You ask smiling at him. He keeps looking at you and away over and over as if he was to scared to look at you.
“I-I came up with it. I'm serious.” He says nervous, but you felt the seriousness in his voice. You nodded understanding. Did he really think you were...he had to be saying that just to say. You felt his hand squeeze yours again making your eyes look at his.
“You don't believe me? I don't lie, I don't think I can.” He says. You hated this feeling. You suddenly felt so much bigger than you actually were. You felt yourself start to panic. You can ruin something that barely had a chance to start.
“Jeongin, I'm 20 years old. I'm three years older than you. If I adopted you, would that bother you.” You say finally telling him your age. He shakes his head as soon as you were done talking.
“Of course not. That just means you are my Noona.” He says smiling hugely. The weird word he used threw you off a little.
“Noona?” You ask questioning him.
“Ya, the Korean side, we use that as a honorific.” He says and he starts to say something else but there was a rapid three knocks on the door. His face suddenly turned sad, he looked back to the door and back to you. Your heart broke when you seen how sad he looked.
“It was nice to meet you Noona.” He squeezes your hand once more and stands up pulling his hand away. Then he was gone.
About a minute later the door opens again and in comes two people, one has his head down and has really pretty tan pointy ears with black tips and another was the guy who grabbed your preference sheet.
“I'm sorry, the next one that was after the dog actually is sick and he is unable to come in contact with anyone. So here is the last one, let us know if you would like me to go and get some others.” He nods and leaves, leaving the hybrid in the room with you.
“Hi.” You say and his eyes snapped up to yours instantly shocking at how fast he looked up. Instead of walking over to you and sitting down like Jeongin, he walks sideways keeping his eyes on you. “What’s your name?” You ask smiling a little, you wanted to show him that you weren't going to hurt him. He kept his eyes on you still and he walked around you.
Based on your reading, you could tell he was a feline. He was stalking me getting a good sniff. Something his cat side does. Every hybrid was different. You stood up to say something since he was literally against the wall in front of you now. But a low growl escapes his mouth. It shocked you and you quickly say back down. You were scared, suddenly really nervous. He probably hated the way your body looked. He was probably wondering why his luck was so bad. You knew he could have way better owners.
You looked at him, you seen how his lips were plump and his skin was smooth and clear. His hair was black as well and messy like Jeongin. His eyes stared at you, his eyes were mono lidded as well, but unlike Jeongins intense soft stare. His was scary. You felt as if he was judging you.
“Ah, I'm sorry.” You say standing up and quickly walking towards the door before he could growl again. But once again you were stopped, not by his growl, but by his voice.
“Hyunjin. I'm Hyunjin. Please don't go.” You turned back and your knees almost gave out when he was right in front of you and he was peering down. He was so much taller than you. His face was still hard but you could see the sadness in his eyes.
You quickly nod. He bends down and grabs your hand and pulls you toward the chair, he sits you down then sits down cross legged in front of you on the floor.
“I'm sorry. I-you are-you scared me for a minute.” he says mumbling to himself. You probably scared him off with your rolls. “I heard you’re 20, I'm 18.” He says as he puts his other hand over yours. You didn't even realize that he was still holding your hand. “I'm part Korean, and part Lynx.” He says and his eyes flicked to yellow cat yes back. His ears looked so soft and you really wanted to touch them.
“You like my ears, huh?” He asks with a slight smile. “Go ahead and touch them.” he says quickly. You started to reach out, when the sudden three knock came. You eyes looked back down at him and his eyes were filled with sadness and his mouth was ajared. And it was like slow motion, he got up and walked away, his tail was swaying really fast. And you knew just by the basic house cat, he was irritated.
After a few minutes of getting yourself together, you finally left the room and met the lady at the front.
“Soo, how did it go?” She asks. “I'm sorry about Joji, he told us last minute that he was sick. So it was only the two. I can get others if you would like.” She says. She talks really fast so you just nodded taking the extra time to comprehend what she said.
“Actually, how much are the two?” When she told you, your eyes bugged out. You found out that Hyunjin was quite expensive, but Jeongin was in your budget so you weren't able to have both of them. Which is fine because you feel greedy already for wanting both of them.
“But, i have a little deal for you since this is your first time here. If you get Jeongin you will have to deal with his braces. So If you get Hyunjin, I hate putting it this way because they are priceless, but you will get both for the price of Hyunjin. Think of it as also a apology for not giving you your prefered age range.” She bows a little. You were shocked. This was...did you want two hybrids? Will they even like each other? A canine and a feline?
“I will say that the grand each to take home today is still in tack.” She says with a sorry face.
“Okay, why the hell not.”
“Perfect! I will give you a list of food they both eat and things you will need to buy. How would you like to tell them?”
“Um, I want to go to there room and tell them. Maybe trick them a little?” You say shrugging. She laughs a little nodding. She told you that she will get them to their rooms. Then she gets a map of the building and draws out directions.
You are soon walking towards Jeongin room. The hallways were extremely bare and so were all the doors. You only know you found his room because of the easy directions and the simple black numbers on the door. You didn't know what to do but knock. You waited a couple of seconds and until his door beeps and it opens. You peer in and see him laying down on his bed.
“Is it time to eat alread-” He pauses when he looks up and sees you and he stops talking. His eyes were wide and he slowly stands up. You were surprised at how much taller he was than you. But he was shorter than Hyunjin. You only knew because with Hyungjin, when he was in front of you, you had to look up to meet his eyes. But with Jeongin, when he walks up to you, you didn't have to look up as much as you did.
“Hi Jeongin.” You say softly, but you try to keep your excitement in, so it ends up coming out sadder than expected. You noticed that he noticed how your voice was. You knew that Hybrids were very observative.
“Hi Noona, did you come to say goodbye?” He asks, even though he was sad, he didn't want to make it more difficult for you. He thought you both had a little connection. But maybe his age was the final factor. He was too young for you, even though he was turning 18 in a couple of weeks.
“Goodbye? I was just coming to ask if you are ready to come home.” You say acting as if you didn't know what he was talking about. His face goes from a sad smile and cute puppy eyes to a surprised look, his mouth fell open and notice that his tail started to wag really fast. You looked at it and it was so cute and fluffy, his tail went from white to the tips to some brown and you weren't sure what the base look like.
“Really? You want me?!” He jumps up and down for a second with his eyes closed. But his eyes snapped open and looked at you, it was like he forgot you were there. He stops jumping and clears his throat. “You...want me?” He asks a slower than before.
“I do, if only you allow it though, I don't want to force.” You say, you didn't want him to go with someone he didn't want to. And with knowing the past, you wouldn't be surprised.
“Of course I do, Noona!” He says a little louder, he bent down to connect your eyes. You tend to look down a lot. You hated to see the looks you got. “You are so cute when blush.” he says looking all over your face. That caused your cheeks to burn even harder.
“Uhm, Hyunjin is coming home with us as well.” You say trying to move things forward.
“Hyunjin? The Lynx?” He asks his face dropping a little. You frowned in confusion. “He agreed? He always talks about his future family. They were suppose to come get him on his 18th birthday. He first met them when he was 6, and every year on his birthday since then. But when his 18th birthday came, they didn't. 6 months later, here we are.” Jeongin says softly. His words broke your heart. You couldn't help but to think, maybe he will come just to run away and try to find that family. You sighed.
“Well, let’s go see if he wants to come home with us.” You say grabbing his hand. He quickly nods and tells you he knows where his room is. You both walk down a couple of hallways and turn a few times. We stop in front of a door and you reach up and knock. The door beeps and it opens. You look in to see the Lynx sitting on his bed staring back at you. But then his eyes move to the being next to me, and he scoffs.
“So you picked the wild dog over me?” He asks, he looks away shaking his head.
“Hyun-”
“Can you leave?” He asks growling a little snapping his head back to you. That made Jeongin squeeze your hand a little. He pulls you back and he stands in front of you. But you noticed that he doesn't look at Hyunjin in the eyes. He keeps his down, but he won't budge from his spot in front of you. He was protecting you from what he thought was potential danger.
You thought about his suppose future family, maybe he wanted to stay here and wait to see if they do come. You understood he still had hope. You stood on your tippy toes over Jeongin shoulder to look at Hyunjin.
“I couldn’t choose between both of you. And I wanted to come and tell you both in person. But I understand if you want us to leave.” You sighed, standing on your feet normally. “I understand.” You pull on Jeongin’s hand wanting to leave. Your chest kind of hurt, he didn't want you. Jeongin was happy to leave, he pulled you down the hall. As he did you looked back and was shocked to see Hyunjin standing outside of his room staring at you as Jeongin pulled you along. He looked devastated. But your body was on autopilot, your empty hand reached out towards him. And instantly his eyes flickered to his yellow cat eyes and he runs after you. When his hand connected with yours, he had a huge smile plastered on his face. When Jeongin looked back it quickly disappeared.
“Finally, I knew you were not dumb Hyunjin.” Jeongin says looking back.
PART 2~
You finally walk into your home with the two behind you. It was only one level with a basement. You knew you messed up when you realized there were only two bedrooms, but now three people.
“So, It isn’t much. I actually didn't expect to have both of you here.” You say as the two hybrids look around your living room, which your front door was attached to. “So there are only two bedrooms. We will figure out sleeping arrangements later. Are you guys hungry?” You ask taking your shoes off and you pull out a needs list that the shelter gave you. You noticed that the only proteins they both can have is white meat and seafood. They could also have veggies and fruits, and noodles, and some dairy.
Both Hyunjin and Jeongin take off their shoes and they follow you to the kitchen.
Oh god, you weren’t used to this. Having two beings follow you around.
“Mhm, how about I show you around first then I’ll cook dinner.” You say peeping at the clock. You didn't realize how late it was. It was currently ten at night, and you were just getting home. Man, maybe a slight snack.
You show them around the kitchen, showing them everything that was available to use, then you go to the tv and show them how to turn on Youtube, or Netflix. Then you go to the first full bathroom, then the bedroom right across the hall. Then you show your bedroom and your bathroom. You don't go downstairs, but you mention that you wash your laundry down there.
You let them watch a movie as you make some shrimp and bowl ramen. When you were done, you put everything on the a big tray and take it out to the living room. You set it down in front of them and you sit in front of the coffee table. In front of the couch they were sitting on.
“We can go shopping tomorrow for more clothes for you both. Sorry. I thought I was prepared but it seems i'm not.” You shy away, you pick up a piece of shrimp and bite the tail off.
“It's okay.” Jeongin smiles softly and picks up some chopsticks and eats some of the noodles.
It was like your mind stopped, you didn't know what to say or do. So you just finish your food and wait until they were done. You then got up and took care of everything.
“Um, you two may use the first bathroom I showed you. That's your guys bathroom. But until then, i'm sure you both aren't comfortable sleeping together, so until I can get another bed, one can take my bed and one can take the other.” You smile. Jeongin was the first to jump up.
“I call your bed!” He smiles big, throwing his hand up. Hyunjin just rolls his eyes. You get up and hold both of your hands out. You hold their hands and walk to the first bedroom. You look up to Hyunjin and Jeongin.
“Goodnight, guys. I’ll be on the couch.” You say. You weren’t sure if you should hug them or what. So all you do is smile and bow you head slightly. You turn to walk, but Jeongin holds on tightly. You look back and see a confused look on his face.
“You aren't sleeping in your bed?” He asks confused. His words took you off guard. Did he expect you too...no. You knew hybrids loved skinship. So you knew that meant lots of cuddling. You could already see it now, him touching you and not liking what he feels.
“No, no. Plus I need to catch up on some reading. Go to sleep, the beds are really nice.” You say and slip your hands out. “Good night guys. Ill be out here if you need anything.” You say. You open the closet door as they disappeared into the rooms. They shut their doors at the same time. You sighed, as if you could finally breathe again. You grab a extra blanket and pillow and go to the couch. You laptop was on the kitchen counter, you grab it and continued to read the rest of a websites article. In the rest of the reading, you found out something you wished you found before getting them.
|| Hybrids are made with certain genes. Think of it as a recipe that can be changed. They have the basic DNA strands to be a functioning human with animal traits. Then every hybrid has a different combination of certain genes. Making each one unique.
They were made to become your lover, or your best friend. Even though hybrids are very observant, they can't read you mind. Depending on the hybrid you will need to tell them what type of relationship you want. Some, mainly in the canine and feline families, they will instantly want to love on you. You will need to set it straight to them. If you don't, their feelings will grow and grow, and if you don't feel the same. You will hurt them. So tell them before it's too late.||
Oh fuck.
You were suddenly scared. You wanted to go back a day and finish reading the article, then maybe you would have more time to think about it. But no, they are literally in the next rooms over. You sighed. Now that you think about it, you weren't sure what you wanted. And you knew that you needed to talk to them. But what if they just laugh in your face.
You knew the go to answer would be friendship, tell them you want friendship. But do you? Do you want something more? Maybe one can be one and one the other? Fuck. If you knew this information yesterday, maybe you wouldn't of gotten two. You took a deep breath. You needed sleep. So you did.
As the morning comes around, and as you start to wake up, you noticed just how freaking hot it was in your house. Did one of them turn the heat up? When your eyes opened you were met but a face, not even a inch from you. Your heart dropped to your stomach and you screamed pushing yourself away. But you didn't expect two hands to grab your waist, causing your body to not hit the floor, like you thought you would. The hands carefully pull you the rest of the way off the couch and onto the floor. You were confused until you looked and seen your coffee table on the other side of the room. You look back and see Hyunjin on the floor and Jeongin on the couch. They both had a worried face. The Hyunjin looked at Jeongin with a irritated look.
“I told you not to lay with her.” Hyunjin says shaking his head. But your mind wasn't focused on it. It was focused on the face that you almost crushed Hyunjin. You were so careless.
“Hyunjin. Are you okay?” You ask looking all over. Making sure he wasn't showing a sign of discomfort.
“Of course I am. I should be asking you that.”
“I'm sorry Noona.” Jeongin chirps in. That damn word.
“I almost crushed you, I didn't know you were there.” You say. You looked away, you felt your cheeks heating up. You wanted to jump in a big hole and never come out.
“Crushed? How can I be crushed,” He pauses and you felt his presence get closer to yous. “ by a cloud?” He says into your ear causing your body to freeze up.
“A-a cloud?” You stutter. Was that a compliment or should you be offended.
“MmHmm. A cloud that I could eat up.” He says with a low voice, right into your ear. Then his tongue sticks out and kitty licks at your ear making you jump. You backed away and you looked at him with confusion all over your face.
“You guys…” You mutter. You look at both of them and notice that both of their eyes were a lot lower than usual. It made their eyes looked a lot more fierce, a lot darker than before. Then you spoke before you could stop yourself. “I think friendship would be best.” You were too scared. Scared of them looking at you and hating what they see. You don't want them to feel like they have to like you, just because you adopted them. It would be different if they were human, then they would be you kids. But in the hybrid world it wasn't like that.
When you finally looked up, Hyunjin had his knees to his chest and he was frowning not looking at you. When you looked up he turned his body away from you. Your eyes looked up at Jeongin, and his face made you miserable. But when your eyes looked at him, his face turned still, and he looked away.
“I just don't think i'm good enough to be on that level of a relationship with you guys. This way, you both can go and find whoever when you are comfortable enough.” You shrug. You thought that would be best. You knew it. But you guess you were wrong. “I know I should’ve told you sooner.” You felt as if you fucked up.
“No, no, it's okay. I don't think we will be...um...finding anyone else anytime soon. But thanks for telling us.” Jeongin say, he tries to put a smile on his face. You knew you said the wrong thing.
You didn't know what to feel at the moment, so you tired something else.
“It's like, I have a choice on what hybrid I want, but you guys don't...you guys don't have a choice.” You try to reason. Hyunjin doesn't say anything, his back was to you still. This was just embarrassing. You were making a fool---.
“We don't see it that way. Plus, if we didn't like you, you would've known when we first met.”
“It isn’t our fault you have body problems, maybe you should’ve figured that out before fucking adopting us.” Hyunjin stands up and he leaves the living room. You hear the bedroom door slam. Your heart was beating out of control and you couldn't breath, you felt yourself panicking. You quickly got up and ran to your room, leaving Jeongin behind trying to call you back.
Jeongin was sitting on the couch for about ten minutes after you left. He had to think for a second. He knew you were quite shy from the beginning, he also knew he shouldn't of acted the way he he did. Jeongin and Hyungjin were quite close, being the only korean hybrids in the shelter. So Jeongin knew Hyunjin quite well. It was hard for Hyunjin to show his feelings. He’s been betrayed more than he’s been shown love, so he can only show his anger. He can't help it.
Jeongin gets up and walks towards the hallway. He stopped in his tracks when he sees Hyunjin leaning against your door. He was on the ground with his legs up to his chest.
“She's asleep, I'm going to apologize when she wakes up.” He mumbles when he hears Jeongin walking closer.
“Let’s go in. She doesn't think she's good enough to be with us, so we have to show her.” He says, he opens the door slowly and walks in. Hyunjin gets up and walks in behind Jeongin.
Hyunjin was scared. He wondered if you would want him anymore. He knew what he said was way out of line. He wish he could go back in time and re do the whole thing. He wouldn't of said anything, he wouldn't of even acted the way he did.
He was afraid that you would do something to hurt him like the family before. But now since this little incident happened between you two, he knew that you were the one he needed. As he looked down at you as you slept on your bed. He could tell that you were once crying before, your lashes were still wet. He felt himself get extremely depressed, his chest started to hurt a lot. His body let out a loud and sad cry. He climbed onto the side of the bed your back was facing and he melts his body into yours. When his body wrapped around yours, it really felt like he was at home. He also knew that it was going to be hard to just be friends with you, he was going to have to try to change your mind, or at least try.
“Jeongin, can you leave?” Hyunjin asks, but he doesn't take his eyes off of you.
“What?...” he asks him shocked.
“I just want to apologize alone, I’ll give you your time alone later.” Hyunjin whispers when you start to move a little. Jeongin just nods, he doesn't hide his sadness but he leaves.
Hyunjin was against your back, but he was afraid to touch you with his hands. His didn't want to disturb you, but his heart was beating way to fast for him not to do anything.
He was so happy that you got him, when he first seen you, you made his heart almost fall to his ass. He was scared, he didn't know what to do, he didn't even feel like this when he suppose family would visit. Suddenly he was pulled out of his thoughts when you turned over, facing him. His eyes were wide and he froze as you got comfortable again, you face a buried into his chest. He tried his best not to purr. His chest would start vibrating, causing you to wake up. He frowns his face trying to hate the feeling of his chest warming up, he tried to ignored the goosebumps raising on his skin from you breathing hitting his skin.
He looks down and notices your lips, and how soft they were. He looks at almost every freckle that was laying on your face. Your lashes made him swoon, he wanted to caress and kiss every part of your face. He couldn't help it anymore, his chest starts to rumble. He felt better and less tense now that he isn't holding back his purring. Just like he expected, with in a couple of seconds your eyes open and your body freezes up. Your eyes look up at him, and back to his chest. Your hands that were scrunching his shirt up. You quickly let go and start to move away.
“I’m sorry.” You mumble over and over, you were still kind of dazed from just waking up. Hyunjin grabs your wrist so you don't move too far away.
“It's okay, I think I already love being close to you.” He says smiling a little. Your eyes snapped to his lips and your cheeks instantly burned. “I'm happy. I'm really happy you brought me home with you. So I'm extremely sorry for what I said earlier. I was just upset.” His eyes were staring right into yours. His eyes made everything so much more intense.
“Upset? I didn't mean to make you upset.” You whispers softly. That wasn't your intention, but then again you never took their feelings in for consideration.
“Last night, Jeongin and I talked about this. Not many people know that Hybrid feel certain connections when they meet people, and both of us, our connection is so strong with you. We were excited for our future together, we even agreed not to get jealous of each other. But when you said you wanted friendship, it just really threw us off, it threw me off.” He says lowly. He scooches a little closer as he spoke, one of his hands were now caresses one of your cheeks, your eyes were stuck in his. His face was so serious, but his eyes showed so much.
“You-you wanted more?” You were shocked, have they seen you?
“We both do. You are just so damn…” His eyes trail down, making your face blush so hard. Then his eyes snap back to yours.
“But you can say no. It's all up to you.”
Your mind was going crazy. You were so confused at everything happening in your life. First no one wants you, now two do? It had to be to good to be real.
“Your purring is so loud” you couldn’t help but to say it. It was the thing that woke you up. That's when you noticed his ears again. They stood out against his dark hair, so you didn’t know how you didn’t notice. They went down slightly when you said what you did. His face started to turn slightly red and his eyes darted some place else other than you.
“I’m sorry. I can't really he-.” he started but you quickly stop him. One of your hands shoot up to his chin and tilt his head back up.
“No, it’s cute. Doesn’t it mean you’re happy or something?” You ask in a lower voice. His eyes looked deep into yours making you feel shy once again.
“Yea, something like that.” he says softly back. You didn’t know what to do or say to not make it as awkward as you envisioned it.
“When we met, you said I could touch your ears, and i know it might sound weird...but they are so pretty..” you were mumbling, you knew you were. You had troubles with thinking before speaking.
“Please touch them, you never have to ask.” he says in a low voice but quickly.
“Are you sure? I don’t wanna inva-.” he cuts you off by grabbing your hand and bringing them up to them. The first touch had your hand moving by itself. He was softer than he looked. you touched the darker tip of them. You were so mesmerized by them that you didn’t notice Hyunjin looking right at you, mesmerized by your face.
You slowly moved your hand down, dragging your nails in multiple different ways. As you got closer to the base you noticed how his breathing picked up and his purring was more interrupted. Was the base the sweet point? You decided to switch back and forth from ear to ear, softly playing with them. It made him whine out that you were no longer going lower than just the tip.
His whine made your insides melt, you gave him what he wanted almost instantly and started to run and scratch the base, and it was like he jumped. He didn’t expect you to just suddenly go, and that caused him to move his head into your chest making you freeze up a little. After a second you moved a little to lay on your back and you brought both hands up to each hair and that cause him to huff out and lay on top of you, his head still buried into your chest.
His movements were sudden, and you didn’t know how to feel. You knew he could feel you under him and that made you blush like crazy. You continued to rub his ears so he didn’t notice your weirdness going on in your head. You tilted your head a little to try and look at his face. You couldn’t believe he was real.
Your heart started beating even faster in your chest when you see that his eyes were closed. Could he hear it? His lips were sticking out slightly and you suddenly really wanted to touch them. Did they feel as soft and cloud like as they looked?
Then it hits you again, he wants more than friendship, he wants you. This god like creature wanted you?
Fuck, that scared you, you hated getting close just for them to stab you in the back, and break your heart. You knew you pushed people away. But maybe they were different. But then again you always thought that.
“Hmm, I promise Jeongin and I will earn your trust. We won't hurt you, Noona.” He whispers the last word as you scratched a little harder on accident, he seemed to like, so you weren't too worried about hurting him.
That damn word. You didn't know why it made you feel special, it made little butterflies flutter all around in your stomach. The way it just slides off of their tongue…
You've noticed how fast your thoughts went dirty recently. It made you slightly uncomfortable, only because you couldn't help it. You didn't know if you hid it well, or it was in plain sight.
You felt his fingers dig into your side a little which made you freeze a little.
“I have to use the restroom.” You mumble, and pause your fingers and remove them from his hair. When he peels himself off of you, you shivered a little from the cool air that was around you. You didn't realize how much heat he was giving off. You quickly went into your bathroom and you shut your door behind yourself. You quickly use the bathroom, and you freshen up a little.
But you suddenly felt really weird. You met them all done up, and you were scared that when they see you...then you realized that the whole little moment you had with Hyunjin, you were exposed. No makeup, no perfect posture.
Fuck. Your mind starts spiraling outward.
Did he notice? Did he care? Why should you even care? You can't help the thoughts...did they take pity on you? Did they know about your past love life? Did they notice your insecurities?
You quickly got out not wanting to keep them waiting. You quickly got dressed for the day in some loose light blue jeans with a black leather belt. You grabbed a white turtleneck and a pale yellow tshirt to go over with, with the word ‘live’ written across the bust. Your hair was now curly so you just throw it up in a messy bun. You quickly do a little makeup to make yourself feel a little better and you leave out of your room.
You went into the living room, and the kitchen but couldn't find them. You went to their room you gave them and knocked on the door. Within a couple of seconds the door opens and Jeongin pops out. He looked as if he wanted to say something but he freezes and his eyes widen.
“Noona. How did you manage to look so good in such little time?” He asks looking at you up and down. Before you say anything the door behind you opens.
“I don't know what's better, this or the no makeup and PJ look.” Hyunjin voices comes out deep behind you. You felt your cheeks heat up almost instantly.
“Definitely this.” You laugh it off a little and your eyes snap down. You quickly clear your throat. And look back up and change the subject.
“So, I'm actually really unprepared for this.” You say sighing. “I didn't want to go to the shelter with a certain hybrid in mind, I hate getting my hopes up. So I wasn't sure if I should get fem, or masculine clothes. So that's what I am doing today. Buying you both clothes, because well I don't think you want to wear these sweats anymore.” You laugh a little. Your heart pounding in your chest.
You don't see, but Jeongin and Hyunjin looked from you to each other and smiled really big. They felt their heart start to beat faster, making their bodies get a little hotter and their tails start to flick.
“But I also didn't realize how intense your diets were, so I hav-”
“You don't have to follow that. In fact can we not? We are part human.” Hyunjin asks. He hated how strict the shelter was. He understood eating healthy was perfect training for a future lover, but damn. “Fish is nice though.” He licks his lips. You laugh a little when his eyes sparkle. You could tell he was trying to make you laugh. It was so cute.
“Do you like sushi?” You ask, it sure sounded good.
“You’ll let us have sushi?” Jeongin bursts out with wide eyes.
“Well yea why not?”
“We had it once. Well the cats did. But they found out everyone likes all kind of sushi. Good sushi isn’t cheap. So we never had it again.” Hyunjin laughs a little. You felt yourself feel hypnotized as he was explaining and he shakes his head almost naturally and his hair moves out of his eyes, and as soon as it did his eyes goes right to yours. His monolids making the stare so much more fierce. You couldn't help but to look somewhere else, making him sigh.
“Well, if you guys come with me, it would be much easier to get clothes, plus ill order sushi later.” You give them a small smile, trying to convince them.
“Why wouldn't we go with you?” Jeongin asks confused. You looked up at him and his looked almost surprised. “Is it the hybrid part? It's okay if you are used to it.”
“What? No, no. It's just your clothes now, and I don't know…” You didn't know what to say really. You couldn't say that you were embarrassed of yourself. What would people think what they see two beautiful men on either side of you, you this walking tragedy. You sighed.
“Lets go, so we can get this over with.” You say trying to look happy. You hated feeling like this. You should feel wonderful right now, but yet all these thoughts. You turned around to walk towards the front door where all of your jackets and winter were was in a closet.
You got two feet away when a pair of hands grab both of your arms and pull you into a hard chest. You looked down and almost instantly recognize the large soft hands as Jeongins.
“It's okay.” He says softly in you right ear. He lays his head into the right side of your neck from behind. His body was giving off waves of heat it felt like, it made your body turn to a puddle. But you weren’t sweating. Your cheeks were burning, where his arms were around your body, burned.
A good burn. A burn that you need.
Your heart almost gave out when Hyunjin came around in front and instantly brought his larger more manly looking hands around your waist lower and more towards your hips, his head in the left side of your neck. You were so confused right now. You weren’t sure what the sudden affection was for. You didn't know what to do, what to think. You were so tense and stiff.
|| As hybrids they have a couple more senses then the normal human five. They can't ‘feel’ emotions, but they can sense them. In fact certain emotions, they will feel as well. When the human is happy, they will feel happy and giddy. When the human is sad then the hybrid will feel a heavy presence on them. Each emotion has a different reaction depending on the human and the hybrid. ||
Later that night, the three of your sat around the coffee table with chopsticks in your hands eating away. A movie played on the screen in front of you and you felt content. Their closet was full of clothes that they picked out, and shoes aligned with it.
They said they didn't need two mattresses and would rather have more room and one bed.
You couldn't help but to keep thinking about what Hyunjin said earlier. You had been wanting to talk to them all day about this.
When the movie was done, you turned the tv off and cleared your throat catching their attention.
“Um… I wanted to talk, to clear things up. Ya know hear your opinion.” You say softly.
“Finally. I've been waiting for this talk Noona.” Jeongin says smiling and he shifts his body a little to face you.
“You have?” Your eyes widened a little.
“Yea. I've realized that you like things just out there, because your mind runs when you aren't sure. So i'm ready to tell you want I want from you and I want you to tell me what you want from me, from us.” His voice was soft and serious. You felt yourself freeze up a little with they both grab your hand. They were so soft and so welcoming.
“Well...uhm. What do you want from me? I'm up for anything.” You say the last part more softly. You keep trying to look at them in their face. But their gaze was too much for you. Your words were honest. You’d be will to try anything. But that doesn't mean you weren't scared. Fuck, your mind just kept going on and on. You keep picturing their faces twisted in disgust when they see what’s under the clothing. “At any point, if you don't like anything...Just tell me, I’ll back away. You won't hurt me. I just don't want you to hide anything-” You were startled when Hyunjin pulled his hand away from you. You eyes were glued on him and his eyes were stuck on you. He moved in front of the table and pulled it away from you and Jeongin.
You wanted to ask him what in the world he was doing. But Jeongin pulls himself onto his knees, his hands still in yours and he puts either knee on both side of your legs. Your eyes were crazy wide and you look up to his face as he looks down at you.
“Jeongin…” You whisper out. Your heart was beating so fast, your mind was fuzzy. His body sat upon yours. He looks so small right in front of you, so good and delicious looking.
His free hand comes up and touches your cheek. His hand was so warm.
“I can almost sense it. Deep down…” His hand trails from your cheek down a little, around your neck slightly. “All of the men who hurt you, hid you away.” He mumbles. Your body was tingling slightly. The only thing on your mind was Jeongin. Both of his hands go down and grab your hands, he brings then up and makes you grab onto his waist.
“I know you want to…” he whispers into your ear. His mouth was grazing around it, letting his soft breath hit your skin. You felt goosebumps rise on every part of your skin. “Come on, push me down Noona...make me yours.” Your body was burning...your mind was blurry. Your hands were squeezing him, pulling him closer.
He was so beautiful and you couldn't tell him no. He wasn't making you feel useless, he made you feel like you were the one in control. He was yours.. He is yours…
You pushed him down with one thing on his mind. You switched positions with him, you now straddling his lap. You drag your hands up his body and around his face. He sits up a little from his lying position.
You brought his face closer to yours. His breathing was rugged. His eyes never left yours.
“Baby…” You mumble against his lips. His body reacted just how you thought, just how you hoped, just the way you always imagined someone under you. His body trembled a little and his mouth parts and a little airy whine comes out. It made you smirk just a little bit.
“B-baby...I like it. Call me it again.” He mumbles, you felt his hips move a little and that's when you noticed his lower area, hard. “Please.” Your tongue sticks out and lick his bottom lip a little.
“Baby...you’re mine?” You ask, your hips start to rock against him a little to get him going a little more. The elbow he was leaning on, It looked like his arm gave out, the one that was supporting him.
“I'm yours. I'm definitely yours. We both are. Please kiss me...please.” He begs, he looks so fucked out, so good. You had to give it to him, he begged without being asked, it made you tingle down below.
Finally you leaned forward to kiss him, and when he seen that you were leaning in, he meets you halfway. He got impatient and later you’d have to tell him that that wasn't allowed, but you couldn't stop a moan from escaping your throat. Your hands went through his hair so perfectly, it was so soft, and light. Your fingers played with his ears, making him moan and groan underneath you.
You wanted to continue and go farther down but you were stopped from a little whine coming from next to you. Your lips left Jeongin’s and your eyes were met with slightly glowing ones. The way he was looking at you, this eyes were low and dark, except for the slight golden glow. You didn't know what to call him, his nickname for you. The key thing to trigger a perfect response. Was he even like Jeongin, would he confuse your moves as ‘cute’, instead of hot and sexy.
“Hyunnie…” The nickname fell from your lips, not really sure about the name. But he seemed to love it, he bites on his bottom lip a little to try and keep in his slight whine, but it came out to fast, it was muffled, but it was enough for you. “Do you feel left out?” You ask softly. You kept your eyes on him as you crawled off of Jeongin to sit on your knees a couple of feet away from Hyunjin.
He was sitting on his butt, his legs sprawled out in from of him. He bends them as if he was going to come over to you, but he hesitates. He eyes look over to Jeongin, who’s hair was all messy, and his cheeks were still slightly pink. Then he looks over to you again. You look at him in wonder, you wondered what will make him tick, make him stop overthinking and just do.
You understood that he wants to do something, but his nervousness was getting to him.
“Is it true Hyunnie? Are you mine?” You ask, you start to crawl to him a little. Right until you were right in front of him, but you don't touch him. You were still on your knees, so he had to look up at you a little.
You hoped he would hurry and do something so you could move from this position. Your knees were killing you.
When he nods his head, you smile a little.
“Then why the hesitation?” You ask.
“Because I'm not sure if you want to love on, or want to be loved on” He answered with no hesitation at all, which surprised you, but not as much as his actual answer did. Your heart was already racing but now…
“What do you want to do?” You whispered.
“Both.”
It was such a simple word, but it did so much to you. You raise a hand and grazed it against his jaw, luring him closer. Slowly, he gets into a kneeling position as well, his eyes glued to yours. He starts to lean down slowly, his eyes trail down to your lips. He locks his target and starts to close his eyes. He was moments away when there was a sudden knock at the door.
When your eyes left him and looked behind him at the door, his chest rumbles out with a growl.
“Shh,” You say caressing his face softly, wanting him to keep calm. His hand comes up over yours, and his eyes were on you again, he looked down at your lips. He started to lean in wanting to capture your lips finally. But you back away from him wanting to open the door. You smile at his little pout and get up.
You go to the door and open it up. You were surprised to see your old friend TaeYong at the door. As soon as you opened it, his smile hit you and his arms were open ready to take you into a hug.
“YN! I've missed you.” He whispers and enters your home. You were highly confused and you quickly shut your door.
TaeYong was a guy that was truly special to your heart. Years ago, he was once your best friend and he stole your heart. In fact he stole it and left the country for school. He never knew you loved him at one point. But that doesn't stop your shockness when he enters.
“You have hybrids?” He asks entering the living room and sees them sitting on the couch.
“I-uh, yes. Just recently. When did you come back?” You ask confused still. You reach up and try to fix your hair, in case it looked strange.
“A couple of days ago, I'm staying with my sister now. What are their names?” He asks practically hounding over them.
“Jeongin, and Hyunjin.” You say slowly, you watched as Tae reaches up to touch Hyunjins ears when he hisses at him making him jump back.
“Ohh, Hes feisty.” He says laughing a little.
“Uh, I don't think he likes strangers.” You say walking between them.
“Right right. Well my parents are throwing a party tomorrow. And you know them, finger sandwiches and tea. Make sure you were a skirt or something.” He says walking towards the door.
“Wait what?”
“Remember when my mother would just throw random themed parties? Well this one, girls are required to wear skirts and boys are to where some type of dress attire. Please come?” He says clasping his hands together.
“I, I have to talk to them first. But text me the address and we might show up.” You say smiling. You felt a hand grab yours pulling you gently, making you back up slightly. You could feel the tension thickening. You weren’t sure how they would react around others, and so far you were going to go crazy yourself
“Okay! I really hope you can come, it will be just like old times.” He smiles hugly and he leaves out of the door. As soon as the coast was clear, the hand that grabbed you, yanks you down and you land in Hyunjins lap. His face a twisted in a frown as he leans down and quickly captures your lips in his. Everything happened so fast, so it took a moment for you to process.
Your head was in one of his hands and his other hand laid on your waist. His lips were soft and cloud like, they were warm and rushed against yours.
But just as quickly as he there, he pulls away, letting you slid off his lap and onto the floor, shook as fuck.
“I don't want to go tomorrow.” Jeongin says from behind you. You look up at him.
“You don't have to.” You say smiling and nodding, but he just frowns again.
“I don't want you to go either. I-I don't…” His frown soon goes away and his cheeks turn red. You felt on alert, confused to his change in emotion. You lean up, tilting your head a little.
“What’s wrong?” You ask. He sat on the couch, you were on your knees leaning into him. Hyunjin comes and lays his head down on Jeongins lap.
“I don't want us to go either. I don't like him.” Hyunjins words come out softly.
“It's okay, we won't. What will we do instead?” You ask, your hands come up and start to play in Hyunjins hair.
“I don't care, as long as you're there.” Jeongin says smiling. He grabs on of your hands lacing his fingers through yours. Hyunjin grabs your other hand, the one that was in his hair and laces his fingers through yours as well.
You remember reading somewhere that a Hybrid won't get overly possessive and protective until you've mated with them, or in human language, have sex with them. When you do, it's like they claim your whole body as theirs. But that's the extreme, the more you do the more they love you and become attached. You made the slight mistake by kissing them. It wasn't a whole mistake because you loved kissing them already, it's just, if you knew it would change how they acted so much you would've waited.
The next day, you woke up before them. You told them to sleep in the other room just to be safe, you didn't know what would happen if they slept in the same bed after you kissed. You might’ve been overdoing it, but you didn't know how they would act.
You opened your bedroom door, only to let in two bodies. You could tell they were leaning against your door. When their bodies fell over, their eyes popped open and they looked at you. You squatted down to their level.
“What are you two doing?” You say smiling a little and looking between them. They were both looking at you so deeply. Jeongin was the first to speak up.
“It's hard to sleep in that room.” he smiles showing off his shiny braces. You reach up and smooth out his messy hair, causing him to lean into your touch.
“Only because you aren't in it.” Hyunjins soft voice follows, he grabs your other hand. It was so strange to you, as you looked between them both, their eyes never left yours, their smiles were stuck, even though they were sleeping on the floor outside of your room.
“How long were you out here for?” You ask worried that they were out here all night.
“Um, we sat here around 11.” Hyunjin says quiety, trying to think.
“I went to bed around 10, why didn't you just come in?” You ask smiling a little. You stood up and they followed right after making sure your hands was in theirs.
“We didn't want to make you uncomfortable.” Jeongin says squeezing your hand a little.
“It's okay. I would've let you sleep with me if it was hard to sleep.” You started to pull them down the hall and through the living room and into the kitchen. “What are you guys hungry for?” You ask them letting go of their hands and walking to the fridge.
You come to realize that you might have to cook two different meals every time you cook. Which made you already sigh in exhaustion, you needed to teach them how to cook. You weren't sure what to cook for their very first official breakfast. You looked back to them, watching as they were talking between each other. They were sitting across from each other leaving the middle spot open to you, the other spot taken by the table sitting right next the the wall.
It was like they could sense you, at the same time they turned their head and looked at you. You quickly looked away and tried to busy yourself, hopefully to get passed the fact that they caught you looking at them. Your heart raced as you opened the cabinet and took out two packs of ramen. You then got out two pots and one pan. You quickly started to bowl the ramen. In the pan, you cooked some shrimp first and prepared it to eat, then you took it out, cleaned the pan then put a little bit of chopped up beef and started to cook it.
“Wow, it looks so good!” Jeongin voice comes out from beside you. You jumped at his closeness, not even hearing him walk up. You look at him as he looked down at the food that was cooking, you looked over and seen Hyunjin standing on the other side. He was too looking down at the food like it was the best thing he has ever seen.
“Do you guys wanna help?” You ask taking the beef out. “Go grab whatever veggies you want.” You say pointing toward the freezer. You made sure to get pre cut veggies that could be frozen, it will help cut down the cooking time. When they did, you instructed them that they had their own pots and to put however much veggies they wanted, plus their protein. They after they were done, they put in their flavor packs.
As they did that, you got out some more pans and started to cook some rice and scrambled eggs. You seasoned it how you liked.
You told them to go sit down, but they insist on helping until you could sit down as well. So you told Hyunjin to get some bowls and cups. Then you told Jeongin to get the jug of water out of the fridge. You put everything in the bowls and poured the water.
After it was all done, you all sat down and began to eat.
After breakfast, you told them that you were going to go and get ready for the day and that they should too.
You were in your bedroom, looking through your clothes. You weren't sure what to wear, or what you were even going to do today. So you stood up and left your room. As soon as you opened your door to walk out, you didn't get really far. You were frozen in place. Hyunjin walks across from the second bathroom into their shared bathroom. He was towel drying his hair, as another towel hung from his hips. Your mouth went dry as you seen how his upper body was still slightly wet. He wasn't super muscular, but his body sure was carved from the Gods themselves. You couldn't help but to look down, as lines shaped into a v went down. You were hoping he would continue into his bedroom, so you could snap out of it and wait until he was dressed. You felt like your eyes were stuck. As soon as his body disappeared, his head popped back out.
“Are you okay? You seem a bit pale.” He asks stepping back out of his doorway. It's like you don't have control over your own eyes, you look down right away. You couldn't help but to bite your lip a little as you watch his arms as he puts the towel he was drying his hair with around his neck.
Your quickly look up and clear your throat.
“Um...uh...you took a shower so fast?” You ask, your voice cracks a little. You could feel your cheeks starting to burn. Jeongin steps out in some basketball shorts. You wanted to cover your eyes when you realized that he was shirtless too, the towel around his neck covered up a little.
He was so innocent and soft looking as he looked between the both of us with a big smile on his face.
“The cat part of him.” He laughs and pulls the towel off of his neck.
“Yea...I like to do what I have to and get out.” He says quietly, making you look at him. He was looking at your with such a dark stare, it made you feel funny inside. You felt a warmth hit you in the stomach and you weren't sure what it is...but as he stepped forward that spot twisted and turned. You wanted to run and hide, but you also wanted to stare and touch.
“I personally love showers!” He runs off into the bathroom. You wanted to call after him, he felt like a safe haven that you didn't want to leave. Jeongin was the literal light to Hunjin dark and dangerous vibes.
You couldn't handle yourself around either of them yet. With Jeongin you felt like you should be the one taking care of him, so that helps a little with your self control. You would do anything for him, and it's scared you a little because you've only had him for a short period of time. But with Hyunjin, you felt like your knees could give out at any moment. His eyes would look at you so intensely, and you weren't sure what he was thinking, you weren't sure what you could do, or say without ticking him off. You knew he supposedly liked you, but you were scared of saying one thing and he completely changing his mind about you. He felt, they felt too good to be true.
“Yn.” When his name leaves his lips, your eyes catch his. “Follow my finger.” He holds his hand up holding out one finger next to his head. You frowned a little but nodded anyways slightly confused. He then brings it in front his nose. You focus on his fingernail, looking back and forth between his eyes and finger. He then touched the tip of his nose and started to drag down. Your eyes quickly followed.
Your eyes widen a little when the pass over his lips. As he slows a little and just to taunt you dragging at his lips, making them pull down. Flashes of him kissing you days ago flash in your mind, making your want to run away.
His finger then falls to his chin and goes down his neck, it then goes passed his collarbone and down his chest...you refused to look any longer.
“I'm...I still have to take a shower.” You looked at the ground, fight or flight right? You were over trying to fight.
Your hand was almost to the door knob when his hand pulled you back, so it was out of your reach.
“Oh come on… why are you so afraid of me?” His voice was soft, and it had a slight whine towards the end. Your eyes were stuck on the floor too afraid to look up. You felt his hands grab yours holding it for a slight second, he brought your hand up. You think that maybe he was bringing it up to his cheek, something your realize he liked. But instead your felt skin, but hard. You were confused and looked at what he was doing. Your mouth went dry has he pushed your hand downward making your fingers run over the hard divots.
“Hyu-” He cuts you off by stepping forward with one big step and you were suddenly against the wall. Your head was to the side and he stuck his head into your neck. He made sure to keep your hands against his stomach.
“You are the cutest little thing.” He whispers into your neck, causing shivers to run down your spine. “I'm not even doing anything and yet you are almost red as a tomato.” His tongue sticks out, licking a strip up your neck. You gasped out, not expecting his warm muscle to be on you. Your hands shot up to his arms to push him away. If you weren't leaning against the wall, your knees would've buckled beneath you. It was the need to get away from future embarrassment keeping you up.
“I'm sorry. You just smell so good. I don't ever want to leave this spot.” He buries his face deeping into your neck, and he raises your arms to hook around his neck, then he pulls you in closer.
“Hyunjin-” Your voice came out as a whine, surprising not only yourself but Hyunjin as well. A little growl erupts through him and he starts to kiss all over your neck, getting more and more rough. His hands traveled up, making sure you couldn't get away, and he started to leaves marks all over your neck.
He felt drugged, but in a good way. He was floating on clouds and your scent invaded his nostrils. His hands were grabbing at every possible part he could. One of his hands soon went under your shirt and shooting straight up your back. His lips started to make their way towards yours. Your eyes were rolling to the back of your head and he was nibbling below your jaw bone.
“Fuuckk.” You moan out, the pleasure all shooting straight down. As soon as his ears were blessed with your sounds, his lips were on yours without anymore hesitation. You didn't waste any time kissing him back either. His hand clawed down your back and both of his hands met at your waist and he pulled you up, making your legs instinctively wrap around his waist.
You instantly pulled away wanting to be let back down.
“Shh…” He shushes you and he kisses you again. But this kiss was slightly different, he embraced you so deeply that you completely forgot that he was holding against the wall. Your stomach and mind was going extremely crazy, at the fact that you've always wanted to be held against the wall, and now he was. So effortlessly.
________
So like I risked it all posting this. Let me know if you liked what you read by reblogging and giving me your love. I love you!
#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#jeongin#i.n#yang jeongin#stray kids#stay#stray kids au#stray kids oneshot#stray kids hybrid#hybrid au#ambw#kpop#kpop ambw#smut#angst#fluff
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Dont tell me how to celebrate my Christmas
Okay so. I have this “friend” who dont celebrate Christmas cuz shes a hindu so they have other celebrations and what not. But she still goes to Christmas parts whn invited. (Malaysian culture is celebrating everybody’s cultural festival no matter race, culture or whatever). This “friend” is also my partner on a journal article we’re working on.
So i celebrate Christmas. I dont go to church, but my family and i still celebrate it nevertheless. The way we celebrate is that we get togther and spend time with each other and have lots of fun and everything. Its a lovely season, so we spend it doing things we love which is not the same as how “everybody else” does it.
So the point is, just cuz its Christmas, i got the excuse to not attend class because its my holiday and i get to see my family ( i live in campus) about once a month or every 2 months or so. And that is only the weekends. Since its christmas time, i wasnt on campus for about a week or so. So i got to skip some classes.
This “friend” of mine however thinks that she knows all about christmas just cuz she sees her other friends doing other christmasy things like going to church n having cake and parties and whatnot have the nerve to tell me that im not celebrating christmas and that i hv no right to skip class. She also complains that im not giving enough effort on the journal article and said that im only doing the “simpe stuff” and “pushing the hard work” on her. She also said that im the reason why she couldnt get her holiday earlier becuz i wasnt back in campus yet. So im the reason why she was stuck is a so called god forsaken hellhole.
Bitch please.
First of all, dont you dare say im not celebrating christmas. Bitch do u even know what christmas is? Every family has their own tradition into celebrating. Who are you to tell me how i wanna celebrate it? So what i dont go to church? So what im not having a party? U didnt even celebrated deepavali cuz ur uncle passes away, so? But u still went back right? U still had a get together right? Why cant i hv a get together with the people i love?
Number 2. This bitch goes back to her home EVERY WEEK. BITCH YOU SEE YOUR MOTHER EVERY WEEK. Dont you dare restrict me frm going home or say that i was the reason you cant hv ur “holiday” earlier. I get to see my own mother for once a year. Maybe twice if im lucky ( i study in another state) i got back home to my grandmother. Not my parents. Talking about parents, mine are divorce. You have a complete family that is happy staying togther. So what i wanna go back to my grandmother? I see her once a month. Why are u blaming me for something that you do everyweek anyway? My other friend did defend me saying “its Christmas, let her have her family time”. Bitch said “yeah, but i dont see her celebrating it by cutting cake with her family and shit” bitch please.
Num3. She complained about not being able to go home on a tuesday. A fucking tuesday which is barely anything into a week. And whats funny was, on the saturday before that i texted her about not being on campus till wednesday and she told me that i dont hv to come bck since we dont have class for the nxt 2 days and our supervisor wont be available anyway. As long my work is done shes fine. Told me to enjoy my Christmas and have fun. Why the fuch would you tell me that i dont have to come bck and then complain to others that im not coming back and blame me for not being able to go home yourself? SHE LITERARY LIVES ABOUT 30MIN DRIVE FROM CAMPUS. I need to take about 2 1/2 to head back to my grandmothers home. By PUBLIC TRANSPORT. She drives a car to her own home. Bitch what the fuck??
Num4, the part about the journal article. We barely get any shit done. Out of the 12 things we should do ( i made a list to mke things easier) so far we only covered 5. And out of the 5 i did 2. The 3 things that bitch done was 1/2 of something we did together, she only finalized it, a methodology which dont need much brain power and 1 problem statement which SHE COPY PASTED AND EDITED FROM MY OWN PEVIOUS WORK. She even had the nerve to say she did all that work sheself and that i pushed the hard things to her. Bitch i did literature review which consist of reading amples of other journal articles/thesis/case studies and citing quotes from em. A work that the bitch herswlf said she didnt want to do cuz “its too hard for me. I suck and literature reviews” bitch said the work was too hard for her. And when she was complaining, said i took the easy way out. What the fuck? The other thing i had to do was coming up with an introduction. I admit it dont take much brainpower but i still cited some stuff. A thing im sure bitch aint familiar with.
She complains everything to my other friends and not to my face. All barks but no bite. So i got all these information thru other friends of mine. Wanna know the best part? She claims to be my “BEST FRIEND” best friends dont complain shit. Crap even regular friends dont do this. Fun part, this isnt the first time shes complained about me. Like, im not even surprise that she did. I dont even mind if she complains about me as a person. I know im not best of person n im not perfect. But dont you dare tell me how i want to spend my christmas the “RIGHT WAY” bitch you dont know anything. Dont you dare come at me with that shit. I really hope whn im finish with this project im really finish with her. The only reason im still holding on and keeping up with whatever shit she throws at me is cuz shes my partner and i need to finish my project ASAP.
Stop living your high school fantasy world and smell the fucking coffee.
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Born to love you: Bright lights, Big city (5/?)
Leo x Alicia what really happened.....
Boy meets girl, they fall in love and they live happily ever after.. but sometimes things don't always go so smooth. Sometimes boy has a fear of commitment. This is another look at how Leo and Alicia came to be, the moments in between if you will. If you have not yet read the original when Leo met Alicia you should do so HERE as many of the events coincide with the OG.
The group heads to New York and Leo and Alicia are heading down a slippery slope.
This is from the CGW Universe (Cordonians gone wild) a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley and myself .
“New York? Why are we going to New York?” Alicia cocked her head, confused. “I dont know. something about wedding dresses. Plane leaves in two hours.”
Alicias eyes went wide. “Oh my god, Anitah is gonna freak, I gotta go get ready.” She looked around the room for her phone, finally finding it on the coffee table. “Alicia wait. Shouldn't we talk about, well you know.” Leo placed his hand on her arm.
“Yes, you're right. But. Not now, how about the plane ride?” he nodded his head as she ran out of the room.
A short time later they were on the jet headed for New York. Liam and Anitah sat in the front of the plane, Drake and pam a few seats behind them Alicia and leo sat towards the back. The girls came together talking about what they were wanting to accomplish at the dress store the next day,the guys converged together having a few drinks while watching the girls go crazy with excitement.
Alicia and Anitah discussed where they wanted to take the group for dinner and maybe drinks after that night. Pam found out her best friend Genevieve was going to be in New York for a few days so, they made plans for her to meet up with everyone that night.
Leo watched Alicia as she interacted with the girls. Her laugh and genuine smile sending warmth through his body. God he was attracted to her, but more then just Physically. He was attracted to her on an emotional level as well. He would meet a woman, there would be attraction but rarely it went beyond that. He never spent time getting to know someone, he was always hit it and quit it. He always used protection, if there was one thing is father beat into his head more then anything was wrap it up. The monarchy could not afford a fuck up, he was the heir, no room for error. Even after abdicating the crown, it just always stuck with him. He only one time slipped up, it was with Madeline and he was drunk He regretted it immediately. The thought of having a child with her, sent a chill down his spine. He never wanted to be attatched to someone in that way.
The ladies split up, going back to their seats. Alicia pulled out her phone, looking at a few things. “Hey, can we talk?” Leo asked quietly as he took the seat next to her. “Yeah, about this morning. Leo. Im sorry for ending up in your bed again. I really dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know I'm doing it, it just happens.” he nodded “I don't care that you slept in my bed with me. But, that kiss. Alicia it was-” “I know.” she cut him off. “I know. That's why it can't happen again ok.” she sighed.
“Ok I understand that. But you can't say there's nothing there, because I feel it, and I know you do too.”
“I do. But we can't act on that ok. Friends?” she put her hand out “Friends.” he reluctantly shook it.
They checked into the hotel, each getting ready for dinner and a night out in New York. They caught up with Pams friend Genevieve, the ladies hitting it off. Genevieve would be moving to Cordonia, and she was now in the weddingl. Leo tried to hide the disappointment he was feeling when Alicia shot down Anitahs attempts to get her to relocate. He apparently wasn't doing a good job, because Liam shot him a stern look, But he was disappointed, he didnt understand why. Its not like he even stayed there often, but for whatever reason, the thought of her not there, didn't sit well with him.
They finished dinner up, Leo stuck in his head. Anitah, liam, pam, Drake and Genevieve climbed into one SUV leaving Alicia and Leo in the other. “You ok? You've been very quiet tonight.” He shook his head “Yeah, just lost in thought. So where are we going? You guys mentioned a club?”
“Oh just a place Nita and i would frequent. The bartender knows us, and has a heavy hand.” she winked. They pulled up to the bar and piled out of the suvs.
Alicia caught up with Anitah looping her arm with hers as they strode inside the club. Liam and Leo right behind them. Pam, Drake and Genevieve behind the Leo and liam.
“Well look at this, Double trouble back in action.” A short stocky man hollered from behind the bar. Anitah laughed and shook her head. “Double trouble?” Liam whipped his head to Leo who was grinning. “Oh. From the stories they told us, im positive that's correct.”
They grabbed a booth in the vip area, and the drinks started flowing. Drake, Liam and Leo all sharing stories feom growing up in Cordonia and the trouble they would try to get out of. Pam and Genevieve sharing stories about the fun times they had as well. As the night went on Leo caught Alicia frequently eyeing him. She was checking him out, he knew it. But after what she said earlier on the plane he wasnt sure what to make of it.
The girls decided to hit the dance floor. Slowly Drake and Liam joined Pam and Anitah. He watched Alicia dance by herself, turning several guys away. finally she approached him. “I'm tired of waiting for you to take the damn hint. Come dance with me.” She took his hands pulling him on the floor. “Well I would have but, I couldn't promise I could behave.” He smirked as he whispered in her ear. “What happens in New york, stays in New York.” She giggled “Pretty sure its Vegas.” he chuckled as she shrugged her shoulder “Eh, it can be both.” she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in close.
Alicia had a lot to drink, the rhythm of the music pulsating around her as she moved her body against him on the dance floor. Her willpower slowly slipping away with each passing moment. Drake and pam we trapped in a heated make out in the middle of the crowd. Anitah and Liam at the table looking lost in each other. Genevieve was on the dance floor with a guy.
She looked over to where Drake and pam were, and they were gone. The song ended, leo went to get them more drinks, while Alicia sat at the table next to Liam and Anitah who were now glued to each others faces. Leo came and sat back down, handing her a her drink. Liam and Anitah quietly got up disappearing leaving the two alone.
He felt like his body was being pulled by a magnet as he moved in closer, wanting to press his lips to hers, but he refrained. Everything about her was Intoxicating to him. Her smell, her eyes, her soft full lips, the softness of her skin.
“Kiss me.” He thought he was hearing things until she said it again, a little firmer this time.
The kiss was like the one in his bed that morning, except full of want, desire. He searched her eyes, they said all he needed to hear. “Lets go.” he growled out, not wanting to hesitate and let the moment pass. They climbed into the back of the waiting car. Liam must have sent it back for them. As soon as they we in, his lips were on hers. His hands roamed her every curve. He felt his pants grow uncomfortably tight as his stiff length pressed painfully against the restricting fabric.
They entered the hotel, quickly making their way to his room.
He wasted no time showing her all the things he had been aching to do to her, ever since she told him what her ex wasn't doing for her. As they came down from their high, Alicia had fallen asleep. He laid there for a few moments, listening to her breathing peacefully against his chest. He had to pinch himself to make sure he was awake, that it was real. He imagined in his head just how good it would be, but the reality surpassed his expectations by far. He had many partners, yet that was hands down the best sex he had ever had in his life,the connection was just amazing. He closed his eyes a smile stuck on his face as he drifted off to sleep.
He woke the next morning, his arms slung around her waist. A smile played on his lips as the memories of last night flooded his mind. He carefully slid his arm from around her, and propped himself up on his arm. She laid on her stomach, her naked body half hidden by the sheet on the bed. She looked like an angel laying there. how did I get so lucky he thought to himself as his lips gently nipped her delicate skin. “mmmmm what are you up to?” She quietly moaned. “I do believe I promised you round two love.” she felt the soft rumble of his voice on the crook of her neck, sending a delicious vibration through her body. His hand slipped beneath the covers, as his fingers slid through her already slick folds. “Mmm fuck baby, somebody's already wet for me.” He growled as he flipped her over.
His free hand cupping her breast as his tongue flicked and sucked on her pink nubs one by one forming stiff peaks. She gasped out as his lips made their way down her stomach coming around her sensitive bundle of nerves. He had one goal and one goal only, to make her scream his name, and he wasted no time. He slipped two long fingers into her wanting center, pumping them in and out slowly his eyes locked on her, watching her writhe under his touch. Her breathing becoming erratic as soft moans escaped her. He lowered his head down between her legs, his tongue swirling against her clit. She sucked in a sharp breath as her back arched “Mmmm fuck Leo. That feel so. Mmmm fucking good.” she moaned as her fingers gripped his sandy blonde hair. He flicked and sucked her sensitive bundle, a wave of heat flooding her core as she teetered the edge of her release. He pumped his fingers curving them to hit the perfect spot, his lips gently sucking on her nub and releasing as his tongue quickly flicked. Her toes curled in, figers gripping his hair she pulled him into her closer. “Oh fuck, Leo. Yes, oh god yes.” she screamed as she came apart, him lapping every bit.
“God you're so fucking sexy.” He lifted himself up hovering over her, his lips met hers with urgency as he teased her with his swollen tip. He slid into her aching center, Both moaning out at the feeling as he bottomed out. He slowly slid out before slamming back into her with force, and again. As her head flew back moaning out at the feeling. He lowered his body against her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him onto her deeper. His one hand slid up her arms locking both in place above her head, his free hand wrapped around her shoulder his thrust hard and shallow. His lips gently nipping and sucking the declicant skin of her neck.
“You're so fucking thight baby. Jesus, so fucking wet. let me hear you, Alicia.” he grunted with each thrust. “Mmmm fuck Leo. Yes.” she moaned, coming apart little by little with each stroke. “I know for a fact you can be alot louder than that love. Sing for me.” he picked up the pace slamming into her with quick, frantic, thrust. Her body vibrating with the motion, as his cock hit the perfect spot with each stroke. “Leo, fuck. Oh my god, Leo, Fuck.” she screamed until she seen stars. The coil snapped a gush of her sweet nectar flooded his thick, long cock. His name falling from her lips like a symphony. The sensation sending him over the edge. He thrust hard spilling himself inside her, his thrust faltering as they came down from the high.
He collapsed next to her, Both breathing hard. Leo looked up at the ceiling “Fuck Alicia, that was amazing.” “Mmhmm.” she murmured as he turned to look at her. His eyes roamed her body, She was perfect in every way. if she had flaws he seen none, she was in his eyes the perfect woman, the thought made his heart beat faster.
Their eyes met, something sparking inside of him, he wanted more of her. “ you know, I dont think I got enough that time. I think I keed a reprieve.” He smirked leaning in kissing her. “Mmm you are really enjoying this arent you?” he shook his head “You have no idea.” he spoke between kisses, his fingers slipping between her wet folds again. They heard a knock at the door.
“Who the hell is that?” he groaned as he jumped up pulling on a pair a sweat pants from his bag. The knocking continued. “I'm coming, i'm coming.” he opened the door to find Liam on the other side. “Took you long enough.” Liam grunted. “Sure Li. come right in.” Leo shook his head.
Alicia sat up as the sound of Liams voice carried through the suite. She jumped up making a mad dash to the bathroom, in hopes of hiding. If he knew she was there, he would tell Anitah. Anitah would drill her about everything and she didnt even know how to process what was happening. She stood there quietly, waiting for Liam to leave.
Liam surveyed the mess the room was. “What the hell happened in here last night Leo? This places is a mess.”
“I got a little drunk.” Liam eyed him suspiciously, just as a phone started riging. Alicia heard the ringtone echoing into the bathroom
Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world. Life in plastic, its fantastic.
Liam picked up the phone. His soon to be wife's picture illuminated the screen with the heading Bestie flashing across it.
“What did you do Leo?”
A few minutes later the sound of the door slamming was her cue it was safe to come out. She stood there wrapped in the sheet “Guess he figured it out huh?”
“Yup.” Alicia's phone rang again, the same tone as before. He handed her the phone as she took the call. She hung up and started throwing clothes on. “I gotta go dress shopping.” she walked to the door Leo grabbing her, pulling her into a passionate kiss. “Will I see you later?” He cocked his brow. “Maybe.” She grinned and walked away.
Leos head was spinning, he had known her only a short time, but she quickly consumed his every thought. When he wasn't with her, he felt like he forgot something, like something was missing. Normally when he met a woman, and they hooked up there were no lingering feelings after. He took off and never looked back, but this was different. He stood in the shower the thought of her soft skin against his, the way her lips felt against his own, The way it felt when they finally slept together. It was more than he imagined it could be, and he wanted more. He climbed out of the shower, drying off and dressing when his phone pinged. Liam requested he and Drake meet in his suite.
He knocked on the door to Liams suite, Bastien answering. “Morning Bas. Have an eventful night.” He smirked patting him on the shoulder. Bastien shook his head, knowing all too well what happened. “So glad you could tear yourself out of bed big brother. If she missed this dress shopping Anitah would be livid, and then I would have your head.” Liam snapped. He was angry. “Why do you care so much Li? She's single, im single.” Leo shrugged his shoulder.
“Leo, do I need to remind you of your track record with women? She is Anita's best friend. We brought her here for the wedding, to help Anitah with the final preparations. Not for you to get in her pants.” the two locked eyes. “I didn't intend to get in her pants. She's different Liam. This is different.”
“wait, who did Leo sleep with?” Drake questioned. “Alicia. Apparently last night after the bar.”
Drake shook his head, he wasn't surprised, that was typical behavior of Leo.
Liam directed his focus back on Leo. “Different how? Please explain this to me Leo.”
“I don't know Li. It just is. And I don't know what comes next. I just, enjoy her company.”
Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Let's just hope Anitah doesn't find out, not yet anyway.”
“So Li, you wanted to meet. What's going on?” Drake spoke up.
“Ah yes. Once the girls get back, we're going to Coney Island.”
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So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.
Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.
Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.
Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.
And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.
And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.
But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.
These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...
I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.
But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.
But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.
And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you
But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.
Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way
Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.
So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.
It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.
I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...
Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.
Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.
Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.
Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”
It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them
When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...
And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’
Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.
Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like
Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.
I like that... i like thay thing we do
In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.
Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.
Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???
Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.
Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.
Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching
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I was tagged by @euthymiclurker to do this thing, thanks lol
I tag from the people i think havent been tagged already @nikoni and uhh, idk, maybe you, the one who is reading this right now
1. What takes up too much of your time? Studying basically, and if im in like my free time, vidyagames and anime
2. What makes your day better? Sleeping a lot, watching anime and just inactivity in general
3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? My doctor gifted me some meds i needed just because he wanted to get rid of some medical samples
4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Uhh, i never thinked of it, so idk
5. Are you good at giving advice? I try, but i never find the words to make good advice
6. Do you have a mental illness? Last time i checked i was diagnosed with anxiety, but it has been a long time since ive gone to a psychologist, i should tho
7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? I think not
8. What musician inspires you the most? No one
9. Have you ever fallen in love? Twice, the problem is since idk what to do when i fall in love i just kinda suffernot knowing what to do and not trying to do anything since i dont expect anything anyways
10. What’s your dream date? Going to eat somewhere special and then walk over a park, or maybe just stay at home and watch movies under a cover in winter while drinking hot cocoa, i imagine thet must feel nice lol
11. What do others notice about you? I tend to be nervous about every academic stuff that happens, and maybe that i fall sleep like everyday in classes and nothing can stop me
12. What’s an annoying habit you have? I tend to evade people even if i dont want to, involuntarily. I tend to think pessimistically. And maybe bouncing my leg, but that annoys some other people, not me
13. Do you still talk to your first love? I cant if i havent had one
14. How many exes do you have? zerooo~
15. How many songs are in your playlist? A lot maybe? i never counted them, i just add them to an unique playlist and hope i will find that song later by luck
16. What instruments can you play? Triangle maybe? I was never good with musical instrument, i should have gone for arts in highschool lol
17. What do you have the most pictures of? Notes of classes ive fallen asleep from my classmates, memes and anime grills
18. Where would you like to go before you die? Europe (any country basically) to visit historical places, national parks in the south of Chile or maybe japan because im a weeb.
19. What’s your zodiac? Leo
20. Do you relate to it? Not at all, its hard for me to be sociable even when i want
21. What is happiness to you? Uhh, idk, maybe having friends and enjoying the things i do, i never tought of this really lol
22. Are you going through anything right now? Take a wild guess
23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? Trying to study engineering for 3 years and not enjoying life at all during that time having no friends and no motivation to study
24. What’s your favorite store? Theres a cheese store somewhere in this hell city, its nice
25. What’s your opinion about abortion? Pro without restrictions
26. Do you keep a bucket list? Not really lol, maybe experiencing love? finishing my career at least? finding some self-esteem? idk
27. Do you have a favorite album? Not really lol, i never group songs by albums, i just go with whatever order i found the song
28. What do you want for your birthday? Money, maybe a book, idk
29. What are people’s first impressions of you? Intelligent
30. What age do you seem according to most people? Like 20-22
31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? On my nightstand next to my bed
32. What word do you say the most? Uhh, i dont know, ehh, maybe, ugh, i think
33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 26-27
34. What’s the youngest you would date? 22
35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? Doctor, basically because im studying for that
36. What’s your favorite music genre? Funk, Disco, Rock and OST from series and vidyagames. After that it comes anime music lol
37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? I would be good even if i just happen to live in the south of Chile lol, but if i had to choose another country anything but Chile and EEUU lol. Canada and northern europe seems like good places tho lol
38. What is your current favorite song? “He barrido el Sol“ by “Los Tres“.
39. How long have you had this blog for? I have no idea, but it is definetively since before than 2015
40. What are you excited for? September holidays, some animes and series, maybe even some vidyagames
41. Are you a better talker or listener? Listener i think
42. What was the last productive thing you did? I was studying before i started doing this
43. What do you want for Christmas? Idk really lol, something nice i guess? i never expect anything to recieve as a present lol
44. What class do you get the best grades in? I have basically 1 giant class every semester, so i guess semiology it is
45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5? -2 right now because im sleepy
46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? I hope that finally practicing as a doctor finally lol
47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Like 1,5 years ago lol, it wasnt fun actually
48. What age do you want to get married? I have no hope for that, but idk, maybe before 35? 40?
49. What career did you want to have as a child? Gardener, teacher, scientist, a lot really lol
50. What do you crave right now? Sleep for the love of god
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okay im deleting and reposting this because i put a swear word in the tags and it wasnt even showing up in searches for my personal, and i don’t trust the mobile editor to fix my problems but its time 4 me to make a post
Here's what I’ve got for a Thunderbirds D&D AU! I'm not gonna get into numbers and stats and levels because I do that enough when I play normal d&d and I'm gay and tired. Also, there’s probably gonna be a touch of rule bending not only to reconcile d&d with the Thunderbirds canon but just to boost the fun factor a bit. It’s not like we’re setting up a playable campaign so it doesn’t really matter as long as we’re not making it unrecognisable as part of the d&dverse. At that point, you might as well just call it a fantasy AU (still lit tho lmao). This is mostly TOS based but I’ll add some notes on TAG stuff now and then in italics because I’m here to provide. It’s hefty, so everything's under the cut. Hopefully comprehensible.
IR (presumably going by some other name but we’ll just stick with that for sake of ease) is still a rescue organisation - it operates on a somewhat smaller scale but access to magic means it’s got a pretty big reach for typical d&d technology. It’s centred around an ancient deity that few people have heard of and even fewer worship. There’s only one known temple dedicated to said deity and it had been abandoned for a long time before they found it, so it’s currently being restored - if rather agonizingly slowly. Anyway, IR is deity-based because nothing screams “fight for a cause” like paladins! They’re paladins, mostly, is what I’m saying.
Jeff is likely an ex-adventurer, probably a paladin but I’m seriously considering cleric just for interest’s sake so sue me, I love clerics. His party did some pretty cool stuff back in the day, and adventuring pays well as long as you don’t die, so he’s pretty well off. He left the party and settled down in one place when Scott was born, and the rest of them presumably disbanded and went about their own lives eventually. Or maybe they’re still out there causing a ruckus. Who knows. Pretty easy to just say “and he’s not there anymore” for TAG, rationalise his disappearance as you please. Either way, at some point he decided to start an organisation that would make saving lives a bit more structured than the usual “Let's hope a squad of adventurers stumbles on our predicament” that people have been relying on.
Scott is a Battle Master archetype fighter who multiclassed into paladin. Battle Master provides the most appropriate mechanics for a field leader, and also seems like the sort of thing Scott would have been doing previous to IR. He’s the least proficient spellcaster of the group if only by virtue of his class, but access to paladin magic gives his fighting an extra kick which, along with the Battle Master maneuvers, makes him pretty damn dangerous with a sword. It also means he can cast Find Steed, and because said steed’s form can go beyond normal when permitted by the DM and we’re making the rules here I’m giving him a pegasus, which is about the fastest flying mount you could get as far as the monster manual goes. A roc would just be too much. Very VERY cool. But too much.
Virgil is a College of Lore bard into paladin. When it comes to support classes, nothing beats a College of Lore bard for versatility. He’s got the range, darling. Slap an arsenal of magic items on that and you’re well on your way to the d&d equivalent of Thunderbird 2. He has some good offensive spells and weapon training but mostly works to keep others from getting hurt. With a high constitution, the Tough feat, good armour and a shield he pretty much becomes a mobile wall to be put between danger and anyone who can’t take too many hits. Find Steed again lets me give him something interesting to ride, and what better than an owlbear. A big one. Not quite as appropriate stat-wise as the pegasus for Scott but when it comes to aesthetics I’m yet to find something as good as a bear-shaped and -sized owl.
John is predominantly a Divination wizard, with a low paladin level - two maximum - giving him access to a lot of powerful magic but leaving him, how do you say, squishy. Divination is gameplay-wise pretty underwhelming, with not many spells to its name, but for someone whose job is centred around keeping an eye on things, the ability to see very far away and receive premonitions is gonna be useful. The system by which distress calls are sent is giving me some concept trouble but when it comes to receiving it’s as easy as a focus with some capability to project images and sound, gear already necessary to cast Scrying. So, as in canon, rather than going out on missions (at least for the most part), it’s John’s job to keep tabs on incoming signals and active operations. This is all based in the previously mentioned temple - out of the way enough to let me call it a T5 equivalent. He also has the secondary job of making sure nothing else tries to take up residence in the decrepit building. They had to clear it of goblins the first time. As far as Eos goes I don’t have room for all my thoughts (so many) but let’s call her a sentient magic item. Additionally, TAG John probs gets a level or two in cleric.
Gordon is a paladin into druid, Circle of the Land (Coast). He and Alan didn't have any previous class levels before becoming paladins. Neither of his classes give any bonuses for it beyond proficiency for paladins but nobody can stop me from making his primary weapon a longbow, plus the Sharpshooter feat is helpful. Coast druid is the only subclass of any d&d class that has a specific focus on water and what could go wrong if we let him turn into animals? It also has some good circle spells, when he gets to that point. He’d probably have a lot of fun with Mirror Image. There was probably an incident that catalysed his becoming a druid, I'd like to think it's the equivalent of the boat crash just placed on a different point in the timeline. Might get into it at a later date.
Alan is just pure paladin, it's all he's really had time to do with his life so far beyond being a kid and growing up, y'know? I’ll get a little into the subclass here, all of IR’s 3rd level or higher paladins take Oath of Devotion. From the PHB: “These paladins meet the ideal of the knight in shining armor, acting with honor in pursuit of justice and the greater good.” Devotion’s core tenets are honesty, courage, compassion, honor, and duty. Also their Channel Divinity: Sacred Weapon is just really cool. Who doesn’t like glowing stuff, man. Alan's got some more powerful paladin abilities than any of his brothers but probably has the lowest total level regardless. Giving him the Athlete feat, which lets him jump and climb a lot easier, feels appropriate. He snuck a griffon home when it was a baby, and is trying to train it. It's not very well behaved and causes a ruckus when it gets bored but he adores it. One day it’ll make a phenomenal companion. For now, it will continue to attempt to eat his fingers.
Brains is an artificer! Love that class. Artificers, rather than casting spells (though they can do that), make magic items. The artificer class is from Unearthed Arcana and a lot of the mechanics can be hit or miss, it’s been revised many times by lots of different people. But when it comes to the basic idea, it’s the obvious choice for Brains. The less common a magic item, the longer it takes and harder it is to make. The higher level an artificer the more, and more powerful, their creations are. Pretty simple. Also pretty much every version of artificer you come across has some sort of option for a mechanical companion so there’s MAX for you.
Tin-Tin is also an artificer, with a few levels in paladin for good measure. Her time is split between making and repairing gear and going out on missions, and when on call is incredibly useful for lightning fixes and is incredibly creative when it comes to the ways magic items (and nonmagic items) can be used to get out of predicaments. This is the character who constantly has Inspiration. Kayo is an Assassin archetype rogue into paladin. Assassins do… a lot of damage. If you know much about d&d rules (I don’t expect you to), the only thing scarier than a bard, stat wise, is a rogue. +10 to stealth is pretty easy to get by 5th level, combine that with Sneak Attack and Assassinate and you can deal up to 26 damage in one hit with a dagger alone. I said I wouldn’t do any maths but I lied.
Penny doesn’t necessarily have any class levels, though rogue would be appropriate. She falls more under the NPC umbrella, somewhere between Noble and Spy, perhaps? NPCs have a lot less restrictions when it comes to what they can and can’t do laterally, but it’s harder to make them powerful without assigning a class. I also think it’d be really neat to use the fantasy setting to make her nonhuman. High elf would be fitting and cool, but she’d also make a fantastic tiefling. Though, like, call me biased, everyone would make a fantastic tiefling.
I think that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter right now. I have a lot more specific details that I’ll get to eventually but this post is more of a jumping off point listing some options for anyone else who might want to mess around with a d&d AU but doesn’t know where to start. Pick out things you like, ditch things you don’t, add whatever sounds cool, and honestly? Congratulations on getting through this whole thing. This post is kind of in shambles. And thanks! I love taking any excuse to pore over these books.
Shoot me an ask or something if anything’s too incomprehensible or there’s something up with the formatting. Later, skaters.
#thunderbirds#thunderbirds are go#dungeons and dragons#long post#kleeboy talk#no commentary in here because last time i said the f word and got put in the naughty corner
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