#maybe ill make a beast form for him

[beezoobledoodles]

"We Are Born Of The Blood, Made Men By The Blood, And Are UnDone By The Blood"

(Got inspired by vicar Amelia to do a shrignold piece.)

(this also goes with some new lore about the cult, inorder for new bloods (or new members) to gain access to divine knowledge, they must make an "earthly sacrifice" and "detach" themself from their previous life. and inorder to be found "holy" or "pure" they must be MADE pure. a decision made by and only made by malcolm.) (a process shrignold has tried over and over when he was apart of the cult....unfortunatly- or maybe he was lucky he was never given divine knowledge...or made "pure")

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Feral

Reader has a cat and Feyd isn't a fan. Or so he says.

When his betrothed moves to Giedi Prime, she brings many things with her. Clothing, of course. Bedding as well, apparently she has sensitive skin. Two ladies maids, as none of the Harkonnen servants knew how to style hair. And one thing that seemed entirely unnecessary to Feyd. A cat.

A horridly behaved, near feral Tom cat to be specific. He looked nothing like the well groomed pets noble ladies kept. His fur tended to look unkept and dirty. He had white fur on his belly, and whenever he slivered back inside of the palace after sneaking away for a few hours, his white belly fur looked grey from all the dirt.

Friz, the cat was called. Fitting, you would think, if you saw his crooked whiskers and the mats that tended to form behind his ears. His betrothed, Y/N, tried to keep him from matting too much by brushing his fur a bit each day. Y/N had told him once that, "Friz is just at that age where cats tend to get a bit lazy with their personal hygiene."

Friz got dirtier and dirtier every day until Y/N took to bathing him three times a week to keep him clean. She often returned from that task with angry red marks down her arms. Deep scratches that Feyd would grumble about as he disinfected them for her. "Can't you declaw that wretched thing? People are going to think I'm hurting you."

She chuckled, then winced at the sting of the disinfectant he spread on her cuts. "Not a chance. That's basically cutting off half of his toe. It gives them arthritis and makes them depressed."

Feyd grunted, choosing not to mention how the cat probably already had arthritis and was always angry.

Honestly, he didn't mind his wife having a pet, he really didn't. But one would think that the point of having a pet was to either train it to do a task, or for it to provide companionship. Feyd thought the point of cats was for them to kill rodents and cuddle up to their owners. But not only would Friz not cuddle, he barely let anyone ever touch him. Even Y/N.

If Friz wasn't in the mood to be touched, anyone trying to pet him would get bitten, clawed, and pissed on in that order. Feyd nearly wanted to kill the mangy thing when it pissed in his boots. But Y/N fretting over him and insisting on cleaning his boots for him, and even shining his boots for him cooked his temper. As did her kissing him afterwards.

Fritz was lucky the boots weren't new.

It wasn't until one day, when he and Y/N both fell ill with a pesky cold that confined them both to bed that he began to appreciate Friz.

The tomcat seemed to sense there was something wrong with them, and diligently prowled around their bed for half an hour before jumping up to join them. At first he hesitantly crouched near the foot of the bed, but cautiously made his way up to sit on Y\Ns chest. Feyd opened his mouth to make a joke about Friz preparing to eat them, but was cut off by the shocking sound of purring. The grumpy old crusty cat was purring!

Feyd's amazement only increased when Friz eventually migrated to lay on his chest, kneading at his flym filled chest with his grubby paws in a comforting pattern and purring.

Feyd cautiously lifted his hand, barely touching Friz before the cat sank his teeth into Feyd's hand.

Feyd coughed while Y/N laughed. "He's all business today, no petting allowed."

Feyd smiled, despite himself. The purring was nice. A soothing rhythm that had him on the edge of sleep, sinking into it's embrace in no time at all.

Maybe he could come to appreciate the feral beast.

[mrsshabana]

Mkay, so hear me out. I wanted to ask if you could write about gyutaro and the reader being in a fantasy universe that's similar to final fantasy or the legend of zelda, but Gyutaro is part dragon and maybe even the guardian of like a temple or something along those lines. Be creative with it, I know whatever you come up with will be great :> You can make it NSFW or more fluffy, all up to you!

Either way, I hope you have a great day ^^

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary You are a Princess of a crumbling kingdom. Desperate for help, you set out to free an ancient dragon in hopes that he will be able to restore order to the land. But you were naive to think he would be so gracious. Things take a turn for the worse and you have no choice but to rely on each other.

꒦꒷‧₊ Content Dragon!Gyutaro x Female!Reader, violence, gore, death

꒦꒷‧₊ Note 3k words. A lot of the lore for this story is based off of Elden Ring. I know you asked for other games but I'm not familiar with them so I hope this is ok. I absolutely adore Elden Ring so this was very fun to write. I'm sorry that I ended up making this way more complex than it needed to be but I couldn't help it! I was having too much fun coming up with lore for this universe. I have so many ideas for this so if you'd like me to continue this story then please let me know!

Finally after days of searching through the Swamp of Aeonia, narrowly avoiding the toxic scarlet rot that infects these lands, you found the ruins only spoken of in ancient legends.

It is said that deep within the heart of Caelid there is a place where Gyutaro, the son of the Lichdragon Fortissax, has been imprisoned for the last 100 years.

Legend says that he was forsaken for being the most hideous creature in all the land. While his twin sister was worshiped for her beauty. He was born corrupted by the scarlet rot, consuming him from the inside out. And Gyutaro was known for his jealousy. He would destroy and devour things that were beautiful or more fortunate than himself. He brought great suffering to The Lands Between, so a knight was sent to imprison him.

You don't know for certain if the legends are true, but you sure hope they are. Growing up you've always been incredibly fascinated by dragons and the tales your mother would tell you. But since you are a princess you were never allowed around such ferocious beasts. But now you have no choice.

Your kingdom is crumbling and your mother has fallen ill. As the war across The Lands Between rages on, your soldiers dwindle. You feel helpless as more and more of your soldiers die. More innocent lives.

But you remembered the tales your mother would tell you and it gave you a glimmer of hope. It is told that the Lichdragon Fortissax was defeated in battle by Godwyn the Golden. But instead of death, Godwyn offered his friendship to the Lichdragon. Fortissax was loyal to Godwyn ever since, protecting him even after they both succumbed to corruption.

You thought that perhaps the rumored son of Fortissax would be just as loyal as his father. If you were to free him from his imprisonment then perhaps he would return the favor by protecting your kingdom.

It's a long shot but it may be the only shot you have.

You cautiously descend into the ruins of what appears to be a dungeon, slowly decayed by the scarlet rot. You're careful not to touch anything as you make your way down a long staircase.

At the bottom of the staircase lies a corridor. A deep rumble can be heard as you walk through, your footsteps echoing through the passageway. As you get closer to the end of the hall the rumbling gets louder and louder.

Finally, you make it to the end, welcomed by a giant chamber. And there he is.

Gyutaro, the son of the Lichdragon.

As soon as you lay your eyes upon him you are stricken with a combination of fear and amazement. His beauty takes your breath away.

His large form lays sleeping in the middle of the room. But as soon as you step foot into the chamber he begins to stir. His eyes shoot open, slit pupils surrounded by glowing yellow stare wildly at you. With a deep growl, he rises to his feet, towering at least 20 feet over you.

His body is covered with black scales, accented with green. Though his beautiful scales are interrupted by dark splotches scattered across his face and body, these scales don't shimmer like the others do. They appear dull and corrupt in some way. Razor sharp claws adorn his paws and two large horns sit atop his head.

Though his body looks different than you had imagined. He is very muscular but his stomach is hollowed out and you can clearly see his ribs and spine. You imagine he doesn't get much to eat here, so perhaps that would explain his emaciated stature.

He spreads his massive wings, blocking the light from the torches behind him. And his long tail sways behind him as he glares down at you. And that's when you hear it. A deep rumble coming from within his chest as he begins to open his jaws, revealing a bright red light glowing from within him. He's about to envelop you in flames.

"G-Gyutaro!" You immediately get on your knees and bow before him, "Son of Fortissax! I have come to free you!"

The rumbling stops, and you feel the ground shake as he begins to circle you. Too afraid to look up, you stay staring at the cobblestone. Hoping that he spares you and gives you a chance to explain yourself.

He leans closer to you, inhaling your scent. "Human... you are of royal blood," he rasps. The sound of his voice sending shivers down your spine.

"Y-yes," you stammer, "I am Princess Y/N."

"Princess?" he smirks, "What is a princess doing in the Swamp of Aeonia?"

"I came searching for you," you finally muster the courage to look up. Staring into his golden eyes. "The Lands Between suffer greatly these days. W-we need the ancient dragon to return balance to the land," your voice shakes as you muster a half-truth. It is true that the world hasn't been graced by an ancient dragon in many years and their presence could help restore the world to order. But you also seek his aid in restoring your kingdom.

"You are quite bold for a human," he scoffs, "Attempt if you must. But these are no ordinary binds."

He lifts his legs, jingling the chain that wraps tightly around his ankle. You were too enamored by his magnificence to notice them before.

You shakily get up onto your feet to examine the chains. A glowing blue tint shines off of the thick metal. These chains must be enchanted somehow. For if they were ordinary he would easily be able to break free. But you came prepared.

Gyutaro doesn't know how to break the spell that binds him to this place, but you do. As a princess, you have access to all of the records and literature you could ever want. You know what will free him.

A kiss from a beautiful maiden of royalty.

The knight that imprisoned him, an ancestor of Lord Tengen, was smart when he enchanted these chains. He thought of something that could never possibly happen, something that Gyutaro would surely never allow even if someone had tried. Especially since when Gyutaro was free he set out to destroy all beauty.

You clear your throat, "I know what will set you free. But you need to trust me."

Gyutaro narrows his eyes at you. What could possibly be your angle here? Are things really that bad that you came to free him? You do know his history, do you not? He is no peaceful creature, always leaving violence and death in his wake.

He doesn't understand what your motives are, but he isn't afraid of a mere human. He figures that if you try anything funny then he can just devour you. But, he's been imprisoned here for so long that he's willing to hear you out.

You slowly reach up towards his face. He doesn't know why he feels so drawn to you, but he lowers his head and you gently place your hands on his cheeks.

"You will be free," you whisper as you look into his eyes.

You lean forward and kiss him. Pressing your soft lips to his scaly ones. He feels something warm blossom within him as he closes his eyes.

The chains slowly disintegrate into dust, effectively ending his 100-year imprisonment.

His eyes widen in surprise, "I-I'm free..."

Your heart beat quickens as you slowly step away from him. Fear overtakes you as you stand before this mighty dragon, now completely free. Will he return the favor to you? Or will he devour you now that he's gotten what he needed from you?

His lips curl into a smirk as he puffs out his chest and lets out a mighty roar. So loud that it shakes the entire dungeon, echoing throughout the infected lands of Caelid and possibly beyond.

The walls of the dungeon begin to crumble as debris falls from the ceiling. This place is on the verge of collapsing.

Quickly, Gyutaro scoops you up in his arms. Holding you against his chest as he lunges upwards, bursting through the ceiling of the ruins.

He flies into the sky, marveling at the rot-ridden swamp below him. The sun hitting his scales for the first time in 100 years, he's filled with vigor.

You hold on for dear life, though he has a firm grip on you. Gyutaro flies above Caelid, triumphantly roaring to alert everyone that he is back. You aren't sure if his return will cause hope or fear amongst the people of The Lands Between.

He flies east, a safe distance away from the scarlet rot, and into a nearby forest. Carefully landing, he gently sets you down on the ground.

"Princess..." he lowers his head, "You freed me from that accursed prison. Thank you..."

You feel a surge of relief and power course through you as this all-powerful creature bows before you. Reaching out to him, you gently lay your hand on his snout. "You're welcome. I'm glad to have helped."

He quickly recoils from your touch, feeling an unfamiliar emotion stir within him. His brows furrow in discomfort. This feeling doesn't sit right in his stomach, and he doesn't enjoy it.

With a sour taste in his mouth, he launches back into the sky. Leaving you behind.

"W-wait!" you shout, trying to run after him but there's no point. He's already long gone.

Gyutaro couldn't take it any longer. The attraction towards you that blossomed within him was too foreign to him. Though after being imprisoned for the last 100 years it was nice to have some company. Especially that of a beautiful princess. But he pushes those thoughts aside and focuses on more important things. Like reuniting with his sister.

You have no choice but to go back to your kingdom alone and empty-handed.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

Weeks pass and things only get worse. The war wages on and your mother's health worsens. You don't see or hear from Gyutaro. You only hear about the occasional sighting of a massive dragon or about a beast wreaking havoc on small villages.

That is until one day you hear a commotion outside your castle.

Gyutaro lands on the bridge before your castle, digging his massive talons into the cobblestone. Then a loud rumble stirs within him, he opens his jaws to spew crimson red flames across the other side of the bridge. Blocking the path of anyone that intends to visit the castle. Engulfing it in flames that spread the scarlet rot that harbors within him.

The castle guards rush out towards him, readying their crossbows and shooting arrows at his back. They bounce off of his tough scales, but one of them pierces his wing.

"Pathetic humans," he growls. Turning around and letting out a powerful roar that shakes the bridge beneath him. Gyutaro bares his fangs and lunges forward, catching one of the soldiers in his mouth. He closes his jaws, impaling the soldier with his many teeth before swallowing him whole.

Gyutaro lets out another roar, a clear warning to anyone who dares to attack him again.

"Cease fire!" You shout, running out of the castle and towards Gyutaro. The guards try to warn you that it's dangerous and you should stay inside, but you don't listen.

"Princess!" his eyes widen when he sees you, wasting no time and coming towards you.

Your guards point their crossbows at him as he approaches but you hold your hand out to signal that it's ok.

"Gyutaro, what are you doing here?" you say in shock.

"Your castle will come under attack shortly," he looks behind him briefly before turning back to face you, "My flames should hold them off for a while but it's not safe here."

"Wait what? What do you mean?" you begin to panic.

"There's no time to explain!" he growls, "I'm getting you out of here."

"No! I can't leave my mother behind! And what about everyone else?" your eyes begin to well up with tears.

"Fine," he huffs, "I'll carry you and your mother to safety. I couldn't care less about everyone else..."

"I refuse," you say sternly, "We will not leave our kingdom behind."

"Insolent human!" he roars, "I'm not giving you a choice!!"

Gyutaro opens his maw and swoops forward, catching your coat in his mouth before you can run away.

"Let me go! Let me go!" you kick and scream.

He doesn't know why he even bothered coming to help you. The old Gyutaro would never do something like that. But ever since you saved him he's been longing for your touch again. Longing to be in the presence of someone who didn't see him as a hideous beast. And perhaps he craved more of your affection.

Whatever the case, he needs to get you and your mother out of here as soon as possible. Even though he honestly doesn't care about your mother's well-being, he charges through the entrance of the castle anyway. Guards shoot at him as he passes, but the arrows aren't strong enough to penetrate his scales.

The large castle doors are just big enough to fit him if he collapses his wings to his back. While still holding you in his mouth, he bursts through the castle doors and into the foyer.

It's ginormous and filled with elaborate decorations and luxury furnishings. Your mother sits frail and weak on the throne.

"What is the meaning of this?" she calls out in a strong voice despite her sickly appearance.

Gyutaro's eyes go wide and he stops dead in his tracks, gently setting you down on the lavish rug beneath his feet.

You huff and straighten your coat as he releases you from his grasp. Giving him a stern look before moving your attention to the queen.

"Mother, the kingdom is-"

"I know," she cuts you off and stands from her seat, walking towards you and Gyutaro.

"I've known they would come for our kingdom," she passes you and walks straight towards Gyutaro.

He feels his blood run cold, and a strange sense of tranquility wash over him as she approaches. He lowers his head to show respect and that he isn't a threat.

Your mother stands in front of him, looking into his eyes.

"Gyutaro, son of the Lichdragon Fortissax," her voice is soft yet commanding as she places a hand on Gyutaro's head, "You will be my daughter's guardian. Protect her at all costs."

His eyes widen as he feels something change within him. He doesn't understand what's going on, but he suddenly feels as light as air. A strange golden mist forms around him, enveloping him.

You stare wide eyed and in complete shock. Your mother wouldn't hurt him would she? What in the hells did she do to him?

His body seems to shrink and become completely concealed within the mist.

It seems like forever but it's only after a few seconds that the mist begins to disappear. Revealing... a man?

He's hunched over on his hands and knees, breathing deeply as he feels his human lungs inflate for the first time. A familiar tail sways behind him, and a set of horns sits atop his head.

"G-Gyutaro...?" you whisper, slowly coming closer to him.

His body trembles as he tries to stand. You reach out to him hesitantly but are interrupted by a loud rumbling sound as the ground beneath you quakes.

"You must leave at once!" Your mother yells to you.

"I'm not leaving! I won't leave you behind!" you cry, tears flowing down your cheeks.

The front walls of the castle begin to crumble.

"I'm sorry my dear," your mother says in a somber tone, "I love you."

She raises her hand, then slowly lowers it. You can feel your eyes closing with the motion of her hand as she casts a spell on you.

All you can do is whimper, "I love you too," as you drift off to sleep.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

You wake up to the sound of heavy footsteps and someone cursing.

"Fuck this! Aaaaaahhhgg!!"

Slowly opening your eyes you see Gyutaro in what appears to be a humanoid form, thrashing about in a fit of rage.

"How dare I be reduced to the form of a mere human!!" he roars up into the sky. Birds flying out of the trees that surround you. "I am an ancient dragon!! I will not attune to this form!!"

He stomps around angrily before your soft whimpers catch his attention. His scowling visage faces you. And all of the anger of this ancient beast fades away when he sees your huddled form. Crying in agony.

"Princess?" his features soften as he approaches you. He kneels beside you and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"She's gone," you sob, "I'll never see her again."

Gyutaro feels yet another foreign emotion swell up within him. Could it be sympathy? He remembers when his father died and how hard it was for him. His heart aches as he recalls similar emotions to what you're feeling now.

He's not good with words, let alone emotions. So he just leans forward and wraps his arms around you. Wrapping you in his warm embrace.

You cling to him and sob into his chest.

"I know Princess... I know," he consoles, "Your mother entrusted me to protect you. And I'm going to do just that."

Knowing that you'll have him by your side gives you a glimmer of hope for the future. Though you both don't know what to do or where to go.

Gyutaro is determined to find his sister who he hasn't seen in 100 years. But first, he needs to find a way to transform back into a mighty dragon. He can't stand this pathetic form he's currently in. And you need to find a way to stop the war that rages across The Lands Between. And possibly recover whatever is left of your kingdom.

Neither of you knows what's to come. But at least you have each other.

[tinycheesecakedetective]

...I'm baaaack.

I mean, I made one post about Swap!PV and then got distracted for months, so I wouldn't really call this a comeback. The moment I did come back though, apparently a bunch of lore just fell from the sky! Beast Yeast is upon us and all of a sudden I remember making an alt. version of this goober.

Turns out there were a few things I wasn't satisfied with in the first one, so here I am with my Swap!Vanilla 2.0 human edition! Even after all this time I still don't have a name for him. There's more white in his design, he has four horns instead of two and they form a crown on his head(that might be a bit hard to see), he also has a halo, his staff changed drastically, and he lost his soul gem. Instead he has two new smaller gems on his "ribcage".

This time around I tried to invoke more death themes, hence the ribcage, more wrappings, the halo, and the burn marks from, y'know, being re-baked and essentially reborn. The halo also makes for a nice double meaning, showing his somewhat good intentions behind the violence and spreading chaos gig.

Speaking of intentions, I maybe or maybe not have mentioned the only swaps happening in this proposed AU are between PV and WL and [possibly] Black Raisin and Red Velvet. I say maybe because if I checked, all the writing would disappear and I would have to start over again. However, I have wondered if those two swapped, how would PV handled the kingdoms? Would it be the same as DE or would the fates of each kingdom end up being swapped as well? It's something I definitely need to think on and develop.

Anyways, ramble break, here's a few doodles I did for Swap!PV!

Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing this. SO! A few changes not mentioned prior. Eyes! There are more eyes, especially on his coat. I took a bit of inspiration from a certain blue jester and his realm of nightmares. It also plays nicely with the whole "truth revealed" theme. Why not give the holder of the light of truth a bunch of opened eyes to represent his awakening? Also they looked good and his cape-coat was too plain without it.

Fun Head Canons: He's always floating, even when he's relaxing his feet never touch the floor. This PV still has a lily garden, it's just hidden away because while he still misses WL despite everything, he refuses to show weakness in front of others. His coat can take the shape of angel wings when angry and multiple eyes can appear when furious or in distress. Speaking of eyes, the ones on his coat glow. Those gems on him are pieces of moonstone that got corrupted after saving him.

As for the story behind him, I had to make a few adjustments. For one, DE and WL are two halves of the same whole, and the only reason either of them exists is thanks to precautions taken by Elder Faerie. Which means Pure Vanilla somehow has to get the stuff from Lily, who came to Beast Yeast without saying much of anything to anyone beforehand. Secondly, it means the Pure Vanilla Kingdom can't be the last kingdom explored. Pre Beast Yeast, the order in which the kingdoms would be explored would change, where White Lily's area would be explored first instead and the Vanilla Kingdom would be last. I'll address the second issue on a different post related to White Lily, but first things first. Fair warning, I wrote quite a bit.

~~~

After forming the seal, White Lily falls ill due to the immense amount of power used. She's not used to using so much of her soul gem, much less creating a seal to lock away ancient evils. Seeing her faltering state, Elder Faerie takes her away to his palace to help her recover. During her time in the palace, White Lily becomes distressed because not only does she feel like she's being a burden, but she won't be able to continue her research on how cookies were made. That was the whole point of coming here, after all. She left her friends and home behind to find the truth and ended up sick and bed ridden instead. The least she could do to redeem herself was to find the truth.

Racked with guilt and regret, she asks Elder Faerie for two favors; she wishes to know the secret behind cookies' creation, and she requests a pen and paper to write with. Before long, White Lily gains a messenger(Silverbell) who gives her books from the library to read, and a way to reach the one other person she understands. Someone who should've known where she was most of all. Pure Vanilla Cookie.

From there the two keep exchanging letters as White Lily brushes up on fae and beast lore. But eventually White Lily would learn about the Night of the Witches in a similar enough way to canon, i.e. finding the book about it. While she's recovered enough, she's still not well enough to go, and Elder Faerie isn't risking her well being and safety for a banquet. She's devastated that her questions may never be answered. If only she could go, if only there was some way to witness it while being in the Fairy Kingdom. And then... she realizes something. Perhaps there is a way for her to know after all...

White Lily, in the discomfort of her hospital bed, writes a letter to Pure Vanilla and asks him to go to the Witch's Banquet in her place. She knows that this is a huge ask, and he has every reason to refuse the favor, but it would mean the world to her if he did. Elder Faerie hears about this and is rightfully worried, telling her about the dangers, and any cookie that goes doesn't come back the same, if at all. He sends his own letter to Pure Vanilla to warn him of the dangers that lie ahead. A few more letters come in from WL apologizing for her request, saying it was out of line and inappropriate. "What a selfish request," she thinks, "after leaving him in the dark for so long, I have the nerve to ask him for anything at all?"

However, despite everything, he eventually decides to go. He knows that this means everything to her, and a part of Pure Vanilla secretly wondered about it as well. White Lily searched heaven and earth to find the truth so she could help others. Why would he keep avoiding it for so long? If he knew the truth as well, perhaps he could use these secrets to help the people of Earthbread alongside her. Maybe now he would finally understand White Lily more.

He wrote a letter addressed to both WL and EF about his final decision. White Lily is surprised at his decision, and is eternally grateful, while Elder Faerie is more resigned and concerned, knowing that he won't be able to change his mind but still wanting to help. He asks her to help write her next letter, and the two send a package to Pure Vanilla. Inside was another letter with the faint smell of lilies, as well as a map to the location of the banquet and a moonstone from Elder Faerie as a show of goodwill and for protection. He in turn sends what would become his final letter to her, unbeknownst to the two reading. He expresses his gratefulness to both WL and EF and declares his determination to find answers both for her and for the sake of everyone, stating, "Let me be your hope when you have none, and you my guiding light in shadows..."

Pure Vanilla proceeds to head to the Witch's Banquet, discovers the bitter truth, and in his attempts to save the other cookies falls into the ultimate dough. The fleeting scent of lilies is the last thing he grasps in his final moments, and the faint glow of a moonstone ensures his survival. His soul gem shatters under the weight of the truth and is scattered across the world, longing to be made whole once again.

~~~

Well! I think I have said everything I can say about him for now. I'm sure I can come up with more things later, but if you read this far, thanks for reading! I did not know I was going to say this much, so yeah. Next post is for White Lily specifically, I hope. I'm also taking suggestions for ideas about the other kingdoms and ways this could go, so if you have anything to suggest, let me know. Y'all have a good evening!

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

For your au how do you think Bill deals with adjusting to Fords body and just human things in general? Sickness, aging, etc. Does Stan look after him and help? Do they do any holidays or traditions together? Like Stan and Fords birthday, or is it a one-sided/forgotten thing? You mentioned that Bills memory on things becomes more faded the longer he spends in a human body. Does this or never being able to get out/back to his original form or dieing with it scare him in a way?

Sorry if this is alot at once, but this au been on my mind since I saw that first post of it. It's so intense to me and I absolutely love it!

He’s absolutely terrible at dealing with even the most basic cold, and tends to get rather dramatic about it, because to him, all illness is equal, and he doesn’t really process the fact there’s different severities. Stan still looks after him despite this. Well, the first few years together, he tends to do the bare minimum, but after a while, he starts taking a more active role in sickness care.

He realises that, as dramatic as Bill’s being, he really can’t process the difference between a flu and a common cold well, or, possibly, something much worse, so it’s safer to keep an eye on him during sick periods.

Aging is a different beast though. Bill is generally amused by Ford’s face ‘melting’, but it is also a reminder of the passage of time, and his trapped state. It’s part of why he dyes his hair brown. He’s trying to pretend time isn’t passing, that he hasn’t been trapped in this body that long, and brush aside the growing fears he may not figure a way out. He does take great joy in making fun of Stan though. Out of the two of them, he likes to think that Ford — and therefore he — aged better.

An extra plus side is all the new bodily pains! The downside is that it makes being as hyper and active as he usually is more difficult. Agony is a double-edged sword for him. He is simultaneously fascinated, entertained and terrified!

Birthday-wise, Bill does actually play along with Stan, just a little. Mainly because the first birthday Stan celebrated on his own, he offered Bill a cake, which, Bill pointed out he isn’t actually Stanford, so the gesture is pointless… and then he protested when Stan went to take the cake away. Birthday cake became a yearly thing after that. Bill likes it. Stan gets a day of pretending things are sort of normal, even if it’s not. He won’t ever properly celebrate his birthday with Bill though. It feels like replacing Ford, or giving up on him, and Stan doesn’t plan on doing that. His birthday wish is always to Ford to come back.

Bill doesn’t mind any of that, as long as he gets that cake. He’s a trillion years old. Birthdays always feel pointless to him? Maybe even a little funny. It’s like a countdown to death!

The first birthday they really celebrate all out and commit to is when Dipper and Mabel stay, and they have to fully lean into and play the part of twin brothers.

The only other traditions they have is that Bill tags along on Stan’s yearly vandalism of other tourist traps, something they both get a kick out of it, and Bill looks forward to every year. As well as this, they have a particular tradition that stemmed from a drunken game of truth or dare, where Bill dared Stan to spend New Year’s Eve out in the woods, and Stan dared him to join in. Now they… kind of just go camping most New Years. As you do!

Alright. Now that I’m thinking about it, they probably also make Summerween and Halloween into a who can scare the most kids competition.

Finally: Bill’s memory. Yes, it scares him. He’s used to being this untouchable and powerful force to be reckoned with, being stripped of that gradually is one of the worst experiences of this whole thing to him. The one thing he had for a while was that at least he hasn’t forgotten anything. Then, he starts to forget. His new, human mind unable to keep track of a trillion years of existence. The first time he realises he’s forgetting leads to an outburst that Stan has to calm him down from before he hurts himself.

He prefers not to talk about it.

He is adamant he won’t die in this body. He just won’t. He knows Ford’ll die at ninety-two, so he has around thirty years left, and he’s going to get out within that time. He’s sure of it. He has to. He’s Bill Cipher for Axolotl’s sake — whoever trapped him here can’t keep it that way forever.

(He’s coping)

(Also it’s not a lot at all!! I love answering these sorts of asks a lot!! Ty!!)

[honeycollectswhump]

The Wolf

[part 2]

this is based on this prompt by @allthingswhumpyandangsty! i hope you like what i did with it :D also tagging @clickerflight because i think you'd enjoy this

CW: non-human whumpee, animal whump (as in the wolf form of a werewolf gets whumped), fear of death

The Wolf howls, high and pained and as sharp as its teeth, as a whip cracks against its back, again. There is nothing it can do to escape, yet it still thrashes around desperately, even as the thick rope around its neck makes it choke and stumble. 

There is no understanding in its mind that its assailants are the same people that celebrated its birthday, that brought it food when it was ill, only the vague feeling of betrayal and drowning panic at what they will surely do to it.

It doesn’t notice a young man coming closer until he is right next to its bound maw and the Wolf yelps in surprise, swinging around its massive head, trying and failing to hit him with its antlers. He grabs three of the Wolf’s sliced-up ears, tilting its head to the side, and it can only see a cruel smile playing on his lips and the jagged glint of a blade before its world bursts into darkness, solely interrupted by sharp bursts of pain.

For a while, its world is nothing but agony, as the hunter drags his knife across its many eyes, and it is powerless to stop it. If it were human, it would mourn the betrayal of its closest friend and the discovery of a side so cruel it could have never imagined it. But it isn’t, not yet at least, so it doesn’t. Neither does the young hunter, blind to a well-kept secret.

Still lost in its own pain, the Wolf barely notices when the young hunter kicks one foot into its torn-up side and it topples over without any resistance, its paws hitting the air uselessly. It hits the ground with a yelp that stretches into a long whine, when the hunter presses his boot into the Wolf’s wounds, hard.

Desperately, it snaps and bites around but its teeth only ever graze the fabric of the hunter’s pants, held back by a rope, and that earns it a kick in the face. Blinded by the hunter’s knife and its own blood, it can’t even prepare itself for the impact, can only wish for a mouth that could scream. 

The Wolf has never been prey before, but if it had any imagination, this is how its prey must feel in its last moments. Is this its last moment?

It was never cruel, not intentionally anyway, it just hunted because that was what it was made for. Whenever the Wolf got free, when the full moon was illuminating the forest just as it was doing now, it had to hunt. A deep instinct the Wolf never questioned and the Other part of it feared. So it did, hunting domesticated, lazy sheep and fat cows and eating them whole, barely leaving bones. 

To some extent, beyond the mind-numbing fear and the paralyzing pain, the Wolf knows that it is getting punished for that. Punished like a misbehaving mutt and not worthy for the beast that it is.

With one last kick to the maw, the young hunter leaves the Wolf alone, collapsed on the ground in a slowly growing pool of its own blood. And in that moment, the Wolf realizes something so loud and clear, that it reverberates in the Other part of it:

If it doesn’t escape, it will die. 

Ever so slowly, the Wolf lifts its head so that its other eyes can scan the horizon. A hint of colour betrays the darkness and it knows that the sun will rise soon. That will be its death, then. 

Because once the sun rises, the Wolf will disappear and leave behind the Other part to deal with the hunters, the hurt and the injuries and it knows the Other part is too weak. They’ll both die, by the hand of the hunters or by the ghost of their touch draining them of their shared blood. 

Where once fear clouded the Wolf's eyes, it sees clearly now. Maybe it is beyond fear, but the Wolf is not aware enough to reflect on it. The other hunters are celebrating their victory, distracted by their own success. The Wolf only instinctually feels its chance for escape, now that its predators have averted their gazes. 

Through the pain of surely broken bones, the Wolf manages to sink a bloody claw through the rope constraining its maw, desperately tearing at it till fibre rips. 

With huffing breaths, the Wolf snaps for the rope that binds it to the ground, just barely catching it with one sharp tooth, and begins gnawing on it until it snaps. It hurts, terribly so, but the pain only furthers the Wolf's desperation. It stands up on shaking legs, half collapsing under its own weight and the mass of its antlers, but the impending threat and the relentlessly rising sun keep it going. 

Clouded, bloody eyes flit around, hazily scanning the area for threats and its speeding pulse makes the Wolf's six ears twitch. Still, despite its huffing breaths, the hunters don’t seem to notice. Now it only has to get away.

The Wolf is a predator. It hunts its prey relentlessly and overpowers it with its brute strength. It isn’t made to be sneaky or silent, yet that’s the only way it has any chance of survival. With a gentleness it didn’t think was possible the Wolf puts one giant paw in front of the other, almost infuriatingly slow, inching away from the camp. 

All of its instincts tell it to run away with abandon, but some part of it, maybe the Other part, holds it back. Instead, half blinded by its own blood, it tries to avoid making any noise or stepping on branches.

Only after it is hidden behind the first line of trees, without any sign of the Hunters noticing, the Wolf takes off running, as fast as its broken body allows it. Again and again, its antlers get stuck in the branches of low-hanging trees, nearly ripping it to the ground. 

It doesn’t think about where it’s going, only that it desperately needs to get away before the relentless sun rises. Beyond its own panting breath and the blood rushing in its ears, it can’t hear anything and the uncertainty of the Hunters starting their chase is almost as gruelling as the knowledge of their Hunt would be. 

The pounding of its heart drives the Wolf further and further away, makes it sway and stumble against the trees as the forest seems to constrict around it until its paw catches on a root and the Wolf can’t hold itself up any longer. It tumbles to the ground with a yelp, already wrecked limbs bending even further, small branches and rocks digging themselves into the bleeding gashes on its back. Only now does the Wolf realise a second danger much more imminent than the light of the day–

The blood it lost.

When the Hunters will inevitably notice its disappearance, they will surely follow the bright red trail the Wolf’s wounds have so kindly left. It is destined to be the prey it used to chase across the forest, salivating at the scent of fresh blood. 

If it will even survive long enough to play the role of the prey. 

There is no denying the wooziness spreading through its flitting mind or the darkness slowly covering the Wolf like a moonless night, drawn out further by the fire burning through the groves the Hunters slashed into its back and limbs. 

Even though it manages to get its legs under its body again, the Wolf knows it can’t keep going for much longer, the mangled limbs struggling to carry its weight. But an end is not in sight.

By the time the Wolf breaks through the line of trees past the edge of the forest, it can barely hold itself up. Each step is a balancing act on knives, digging deep into the sensitive flesh of its paws, and now that it is out in the open it doesn’t even have the energy to hide, to sprint for bushes in the distance. Even then, turning back into the forest is even more of a death sentence than the merciless claws of blood loss, sinking themselves into the Wolf’s awareness. 

Despite the blood muddying its vision –it doesn’t think about the darkness on its left side. It doesn’t– it can make out the blurry shape of what might be an isolated cabin close to the forest’s edge. Recognition stirs in the Other Part, with emotions the Wolf can’t place.

All that reaches it is Safety, Safety, Safety and that fragile hope is enough promise for the Wolf, taking up its last energy to stumble towards the shelter.

It only just makes it to the wooden shed next to the cabin and though the Wolf’s skin prickles at the proximity to humans, it carries its beaten and bloodied body inside. With a last rasping breath, the Wolf collapses. Its right antler splinters into pieces at the impact, sending a burning spike of pain through the Wolf’s skull and making it whine. Like lightning, the pain zaps through its mind, a disorienting flurry of hurt. With its blinded side upwards, the other eyes down in the dirt and dust, it can’t look around the room it has trapped itself in, can’t fight back or flee, or even to notice its assailants. 

Desperately, it scratches at the ground, a futile attempt to get up one last time, to hide, to not lay vulnerable and visible in the middle of the shed, ready to be taken by a cruel and victory-drunk Hunter. 

Exhaustion weighs heavily on the Wolf’s aching limbs, a battle lost to the Hunters, the sun and its very own instincts. The ageing wood creaks around it, drowning out wheezing breaths, swallowing any warning the air might have carried to the Wolf’s torn-up ears and it can do nothing but shake in fear.

Distantly, the Other Part knows he isn’t as strong as the Wolf, knows that his fragile body won’t carry the wounds for long. He mourns his life, the one he will never have again even if he is unlucky enough to survive the day. The Wolf whimpers, an to it incomprehensible wave of grief washing over it. 

Even as all of its other senses dwindle and the day sinks its teeth into the open wounds, the Wolf can’t help but yowl. A pathetic, wheezing breath, barely distinguishable from the wind whipping against the wooden walls. It doesn’t mourn the same way the Other Part does, it can’t, it only wishes it could hunt under its beloved companion, the silver shining moon, one more time. 

Then, even the pain fades and the Wolf and the Other Part are swallowed up by darkness even the moon can’t break.

[askinkiskarma]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter IX: Seven

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter X

Synopsis: As your life comes to an end, someone you never thought you'd see again helps both you and Neteyam navigate your past and future.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, no mentions of Y/N, cursing, some fluff, a lot of crying, like too much crying honestly

Word Count: 9,3k words

A/N: The second to last chapter is here, and with it also comes the beginning of the end. I am honestly so sad at the thought of this series finishing, I have spent every minute of my life thinking and living in it, and I am not ready for it to end (wink wink). This chapter was the most emotionally draining piece of writing I have ever done, but I am so happy with the way it turned out. I hope you like it, and that you find some comfort in this story, the way I found comfort in writing it and sharing it with you. I am so so excited about the last chapter, and I will start writing it right away. As always, thank you so much for engaging with my work and for all the support, I loved reading your comments and asks so so much, they make my life honestly. (Pls listen to seven by TS when reading this, I think it will enhance the experience x also jake saying babygirl does things to me ok byee x )

“Please, picture me in the trees, I hit my peak at seven Feet, in the swing over the creek, I was too scared to jump in Please picture me in the weeds, before I learnt civility I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted ...Are there still beautiful things?”

Neteyam left the clearing with so much anger it could be mined as a new energy source. He couldn’t believe this, couldn’t believe you. He was losing you, over and over, and now will lose you permanently. His heart bled so much, he didn’t think he could make it back to the village in the state he was in. He spent the last month of his life, the last month of your life, training you, ignoring his feelings for you, having dinner with another woman, when he should have been loving you, helping you heal and checking in on your human form, that he spent his whole life with and then abandoned for your Avatar. You took everything from him by keeping this a secret. His whole life, his future, the chance at any happiness or hope or trust in loved ones. He would never forgive you for this. You robbed him of everything and your death will bring his own, maybe not physical, but spiritual and emotional. 

He didn’t want to go back to the village, couldn’t go back to the village. He couldn’t hear it, couldn’t hear them talking about you, about your death, he couldn’t see them cry and mourn, for the woman he will love as long as his beating heart was still pumping blood, and not die, not collapse due to the overbearing weight of his broken soul. There was only one place he thought to go, only one place he might find any semblance of peace: Vitraya Ramunong, the Tree of Souls.

Norm and the Sullys were still in the tent, discussing ways to get you to accept the consciousness transfer, brainstorming every possible idea, even thinking of literally tying you to a bed and pumping you with the drugs that they knew would buy you, buy them some more time to change your mind. They all jumped at the screech that came from just outside their tent, and Jake got his gun resting by his side and saw the rest of his family arming themselves with bows and knives at the ominous sound. When they made it outside, they were shocked to see your ikran, a beautiful beast, batting her wings aggressively and hissing in their direction. 

“What is it, girl?” Jake said, approaching her carefully and petting her head gently. The ikran opened her mouth and took Jake’s hand in hers, which elicited a furious reaction from Neytiri, to which Jake raised his other hand in a calming gesture.

“She’s not hurting me, she’s pulling me away, towards the lab. I think she’s trying to tell us something.” 

His heart dropped at the thought of what could your ikran be wanting to show them so ardently, so urgently. He has never seen such behaviour from a banshee, and he realises painfully how much of an imprint you have made on this world, on life all around you. He wishes this world would have made as much of an impact on you, maybe if it had, you wouldn’t want to leave it so soon. 

Jake got on the banshee without making the bond, and she immediately took off. 

“Take the Ikrans or Pa’li and hurry to the lab, I have a really bad feeling.”

The last thing he saw is his entire family calling for their animals, the hurry and desperation enveloping all of them like a warm, suffocating blanket. 

The banshee landed in a small clearing with a river source in the middle of it. It was a beautiful place that Jake has somehow never stumbled through before, but he couldn’t think about it too much when another, more urgent matter caught his eye. A small and fragile frame, motionless on the ground. 

“KID!” He jumped from the back of the ikran like it was lava, and ran as quickly as he possibly could, kneeling on the ground next to you. His face immediately went to your masked one, trying to see if he could spot breathing. Two fingers rushed to your throat, looking for a pulse he couldn’t feel. 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, don’t do this to me, baby girl. Come on, please.” 

He removed your mask and starting giving you CPR, his two hands wrapped around each other in firsts as he rhythmically compressed your chest in the spot right on top of your heart. Thirty compressions, two breaths, thirty compressions, two breaths. He was trying so hard to remain calm and collected, but his mind was screaming with the image of you on the ground, dead or dying, he still didn’t know, alone, and he felt tears pool in his eyes. You have been alone for such a long time, and he was right: he never tried to understand what you must have been going through, how hard this life must have been for you on this planet your body didn’t belong on, with a soul so bright and wild that was continuously tamed by the fury of your own destiny, with which you battled your whole existence. Losing your mum changed you, finding your dad in the woods broke your spirit, and losing Neteyam took away the last shred of happiness you had, and they watched. He watched, unknowing and ignorant. He will never forgive himself if you died here, in his arms. 

He was continuing the CPR when his eyes snapped at something moving above his head. Jake stopped the chest compressions at the sight. Atokirina, dozens of them, floating down gently and peacefully until they reached your body, where they settled for a few seconds, before they all took flight again concomitantly. Jake thought that was a good sign, and, in a desperate attempt to add on to Eywa’s efforts, he brought up his fingers together in a fist, and with all his might, hit your unmoving chest, saying a silent prayer in his mind as he did so. 

With wide eyes and laboured breaths, Jake saw the small girl he’s known since she was born come back to life with a violent gasp. You immediately started coughing breathlessly, and Jake put your mask back over your face. He pressed a button and allowed you to take a few short, pained breaths. He felt relief wash all over him, but he knew he needed to go; you weren’t breathing properly, and he saw your face slowly turning purple. 

“It’s okay, baby girl. You’re going to be okay.”

With very little effort, Jake lifted you from the ground and carried you in his arms, running as fast as he could do without disturbing you even further. He couldn’t help wince as he was looking at your body, so weak and feeble, so different than the one he remembered. How did this happen? How did Norm and Max allow this? 

He made it to the lab shortly, and saw the whole family waiting for him there. Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk all let out a shocked gasp at your lifeless form residing in Jake’s arms, but he couldn’t think about that now, he couldn’t worry about anything other than making sure you will survive this. 

Norm and Max let him in with their keycards and motioned hurriedly in the direction of the medical ward. He knew where to go, having been there a few times with soldiers who were sick, as well with his own kids when they got illnesses the Tsahik couldn’t cure. He hurried past all the hallways and entered and put you down as gently as he possibly could. Norm and Max burst through the door, getting all sorts of instruments and machines ready that Jake couldn’t name with a gun to his head. He silently got out of the way, and let them do what they did best. 

He got out of the room and grabbed Tuk in his arms, holding her tightly when she nuzzled her head in his neck and started silently sobbing. 

“What is going on?” Kiri, one of your best friends in the whole world, your sister, asked through shaky breaths and hushed cries. 

“Ma 'ite…” Neytiri said softly, hugging her kids close to her chest. 

“She’s sick, isn’t she? Like the people in the village?” 

“Yes, my sweet child.”

“But those people died.” Tuk said in between high pitched whimpers. 

Jake and Neytiri exchanged a knowing, sorrowful look, and tightened their grip on their children. 

Neteyam found the Tree of Souls to be deserted, as most Na’vi would be gone hunting or preparing for the upcoming war this time of day, or just taking shelter from the rain that has been pouring for days with no seeming intention of stopping. He knelt on the ground and peered up at the bright pink and purple tendrils of the sacred willow, taking in the beauty that he is yet to get over, even after coming here his whole entire life. A pained cry escaped his lips at the realisation he will never be able to show this to you. From the second he saw your Avatar body, dreams invaded his subconscious mind, dreams of when you would finally become one of the people, dreams of your soft hair bouncing on your beautiful back while you ran beneath the tree, dreams of his finally being able to make you his, the way he has wanted for so long. You were supposed to become one of the people, you were supposed to be his, his mate and the mother of his children, his Tsahik, the best Tsahik this clan had ever seen. How the fuck was he supposed to come to terms with this heartbreak, how was he ever supposed to be the same person again? You were in his life from the moment you were born. You were born just a couple of months apart, as if Eywa couldn’t wait any longer to join two souls who were meant to be. He couldn’t remember a day in his life when you weren’t there - even if not physically, you were always in his life, in his mind, your light forever permeated through every cell in his body. You were the only fact of life he was sure of, how was he supposed to live without you?

“I have another quote that reminds me of you, though.” 

Patting the spot next to you, you signalled for him to lie down. He did, although his legs were completely off the bed, the tiny contraption barely able to accommodate his torso. You let out a small laugh, but seemed happy to have him so close. 

You placed your head on his chest, and he prayed you couldn’t hear the way his heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest at your proximity and warmth. You opened the book and looked for the quote. 

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

“I like that.” He felt bashful at your admission of how you viewed him. You were always braver than him when it comes to your feelings. You never said them out right, but you always gave enough proof through moments like these, when you would sing a song, or read him a section of a book you thought resonated with you.

“Read more. Is there anything else in that book that reminds you of us?” 

You blushed, but flipped through more pages. You have him a knowing look, and read from the book you gripped on so tightly your knuckles turned white.

“My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

He couldn’t help think of that quote, and how deeply you both felt for each other, how this world is dull and senseless, meaningless and bleak without the other. “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger”. He never quite understood the magnitude of this quote until today, when he stared at your dying body, until he was here, kneeling under the Tree of Souls, knowing soon you might not be part of his universe anymore, willing to beg Eywa until his knees bleed for another chance, for one more try. 

“Great Mother,” he starts as he reaches for the queue and brings it to one of the tendrils he was softly grasping in his hand, “I need your help. I’m begging you for help.” 

His queue wraps around the mauve willow branch and he inhales faintly at the bond, as he is transported across dimensions, to another plane of being, higher than any living thing had access to except in this way.

He woke up in the last place he thought he would, the lab. The damn lab, with its white, too-white walls and a smell that always burned his nostrils and a coldness that he would never get used to, no matter how many days he has spent here in his life. Without you in it, it was unnatural and unwelcoming, and he didn’t want to be here a second longer than he needed to.

“Ma 'itan.” he heard a voice call out to him from inside one of the rooms, and he made his way slowly towards it, feet hurting from the biting temperature of the smooth tiles. He passed a mirror that was hung on one of the walls, and was startled to see himself in it, only it appeared more like a window to the past, as the face looking back at him was young, no older than 10. 

He continued on, and eventually reached it. It was dark, except the light from a computer screen and one desk lamp gently illuminating the room. Sat on a chair was a woman, beautiful and elegant, with light curly hair that reached her torso and kind features, that reminded him so much of her daughter, so much so that it made his heart constrict in pain. 

“Neteyam, my boy, it’s so good to see you!”

“Auntie Jo?” 

“You’ve grown so much, ma 'itan. You’ve become a handsome young man.”

“Auntie Jo, what’s going on? Why am I here?” 

“You’ve come to ask for help from the Great Mother. The Great Mother doesn’t take sides, son, you know that. She protects only the balance of life.”

“Yes, and her life hangs in the balance. I need Eywa to help, I need Eywa to save her, because her life has never been balanced. There’s never been anything fair about her life, and this second chance is the balance. It’s what she deserves, a lifetime of happiness to make up for all the hurt the Universe has put her through.”

“I see you are still my daughter’s angel, even after all this time. You always took care of her, from when you were both babies. We used to put you in the same crib and you would go to sleep holding hands. You both used to cry whenever it was time for us to return to the lab. Eventually, we had to give you a piece of clothing of the other, so you could sleep peacefully through the night. I always knew you were supposed to end up together. It’s part of the reason I worked so hard to decode the Avatar for her.” 

“She’s dying. She’s dying and there’s nothing I can do! I need you to help me save her, I need to do something, I need something to stop the way it feels like I’m being ripped apart at every seam in my body. I have never known such pain, I never knew it was possible for a body to hurt so badly from a wound that doesn’t even exist.” 

The woman rose from the chair and took Neteyam in her arms, allowing him to place his head on her shoulders and cry. Neteyam tightened his arms around her and held her, crying, releasing all the grief he was feeling for his love, for his future, for her.

“If you feel it, son, then it exists. If you feel her, then she exists, and she will exist forever. In truth, there is nothing any of us can do, except love her and be there for her. My daughter has grown so much, and so much grief grew along with her. And she learnt how to let grief grow until it is so big it cannot be contained within her body from me. But there’s still time for her to grow, too. Grow bigger than the grief. She needs you, Neteyam. She needs you to be her light one last time. She needs you right now. You should go before it’s too late.”

Neteyam woke up like from a dream and removed his queue from the tree so quickly it hurt him and he felt the pain travel all the way to the tip of his toes. It didn’t matter, he thought. He could be scalped right now and he would still be calling his ikran with enough might to wake up the entire forest. As soon as she arrived at the foot of the tree, he got on her and motioned for her to take off, no other thoughts than the words your mother uttered echoing in his ears. I need to get to the lab, fuck, I hope I’m not too late. I can’t be too late. It can’t be too late.

He completely spaced out until he reached the lab, so it was like he blinked and he was there. He saw your ikran next to the entrance of the lab and felt his pulse quicken so fast he almost fell off his own with how faint it made him. He knocked on the door forcefully and incessantly until Lo’ak came and opened it. His baby brother’s eyes were red and damp and he looked sick and tired; Neteyam couldn’t remember the last time he has ever seen Lo’ak in this state - he didn’t think he ever had. The lump that formed in Neteyam’s throat stopped him from speaking, and he looked at his brother with desperation laced on every feature, silently pleading to be put out of his misery.

“She collapsed outside the lab. She was in a clearing a few minutes from here. Her ikran came to the village and took dad to where she was, and he brought her here.”

Lo’ak started crying again, bringing a hand to his face to hide himself, and Neteyam took him in his arms and hugged him. 

“She was dead, bro. Dad said she was dead. Her heart stopped and he managed to start it back up again, but she has been in the room with Norm and Max for a while, she won’t wake up. She’s been sick for a month and we didn’t know. I didn’t know!”

Neteyam let Lo’ak cry it out, feeling his own hurt being pushed aside at the sight of his baby brother needing a shoulder to cry on. He couldn’t be weak when his family needed him. 

Eventually they made their way down the corridor until they reached the rest of their family, and he saw it, saw you, and it immediately made his sick. He’s struggled to keep down whatever food he still had in his system at the terrorising sight - you, lying on a white framed bed, unconscious, with tubes coming in and out of you, so many tubes he was losing count. He saw the tubes coming out of machines that were beeping, and one of them was removing blood from your body and then pushing it back in, and Neteyam felt weak in the knees taking it all in. 

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE IV: BARGAINING

You woke up in a daze, feeling heavy and numb, like that one time you were 16 and you took one too many sleeping pills and you needed 3 days to ride out the consequences. You frowned deeply at the bright artificial lights that were bearing down on you, and you realised you were in the medical ward of the hub. You faintly heard the ECG machine beeping, and you knew at least you weren’t dead yet. You don’t know how much time it’s been, the last thing you remember is Neteyam turning his back on you in the clearing.

“You’re a coward…”

You felt your heart hurt, although the pain was not physical, it wasn’t an arrhythmia or fibrillation or asystole, it was worse. It was a kind of pain you can’t fix with some pills or a defibrillator or some epinephrine to restart the heart. It didn’t work that way. This pain you would have to ride out, have to hope it will pass in time. 

He was right. You were a coward, have been your whole life. There was no point denying it any longer, no point hiding behind a facade of eye rolls and straight faces. You killed yourself slowly and painfully, for years - taking pills, taking too many pills, ignoring the pleas from your mind that told you it was slowly losing focus, that couldn’t handle pain as well anymore, that couldn’t sleep unless it was practically mush by the time your head hit the pillow. You told yourself it was unfortunate that you got the virus, that you hated it and that you were working for cure, but in reality you were kind of relieved when it happened. Because now you had an excuse, and you didn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting yourself. 

You were a coward, refusing to get help or let yourself be loved, let yourself be mourned, because you didn’t want to deal with it. You refused to tell Neteyam, the man who has loved you and been your rock your whole life, who, despite everything that went on between you, would always be yours, and who you knew would suffer immensely because of your passing, because you didn’t want to suffer with him. You didn’t tell Norm and Max, because you knew they would make you get help, and try to get you to heal and stay alive longer, and you didn’t want that. You didn’t tell Jake or Neytiri, or the kids, because no parent or sibling should have to watch their kid, their sister die, and you thought by pushing them away and blaming them for Neteyam’s indiscretion, you would be able to soften the blow. But most of all, you didn’t tell them because you didn’t want to know that people do love you, would suffer because of you, that your death impacted lives around you. You didn’t need the guilt. 

Nobody was paying attention to you, you realised. You briefly saw Norm and Max hurrying around you out of the corner of your eye, and saw a dialysis machine retrieving your blood through a tube coming from your neck. You were going into multiple organ failure, you deduced. Your heart and lungs were shot, your kidneys were shot, you didn’t have much time left.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to scream for Neteyam, for all of them, and apologise. You knew what it meant to lose people, better than most. You were sorry for knowing you will put these people you loved so much through so much pain. You were sorry things turned out like this, that you weren’t stronger, that your heart was so broken it found comfort in the pain and was too scared to heal. The tube coming out of your mouth didn’t allow for that. You felt tears falling from your eyes and then slowly the heaviness taking over, pushing your eyelids shut, and the last thing you heard was the unmistakable sound of a flatline, and screams all around you. 

You woke up dazed, needing a few second to take in your surroundings. You had no idea where you were, it isn’t a place you have ever seen before. You looked, trying to accommodate to the light shining brightly from an orb in the sky, and when you couldn’t see Polyphemus and its moons in the sky, you knew you were no longer on Pandora. It took a while, but you eventually realised you were on Earth. You turned around, taking in all of your surroundings, and felt amazed at the unfamiliar new sights. In front of you stood a house. On the smaller side (you thought, based on all the Hollywood movies you’ve seen), with a blue paintcoat and surrounded by a short brown fence, it had flowers you were fascinated by and shrubbery surrounding it, giving it an unkept look - you loved it. It was not like the houses you have seen in the movies, perfect and artificial, with human precision to ruin what Mother Earth put there for a reason. Behind you were paved roads, but nobody was around. There were no other houses, the one in front of you solitary and quiet, except for a rhythmic sound you could hear from somewhere behind it, although you could not place it, as the house was on a little hill. 

You made your way towards the entrance quietly, and were pleasantly surprised when the little fence opened at your slightest push, so you continued through the cobblestone path, until you were standing face to face with a white door. You felt yourself curiously knocking on it, hoping someone could let you in and explain to you what was going on, why were you here, what was this place? Was this the afterlife? Were you in heaven? 

After waiting a few minutes at the door with no answer, you touched the handle and pressed gently, surprised again when it opened to you. You felt a strange smell envelop you, it was a completely new olfactory experience than you have ever had, and you realised you loved it -  it was a rich and warm smell, and you had to swallow as it seemed to trigger hunger in your system. The room you were in was a little claustrophobic, but you couldn’t help thinking if was homely and snug and felt a strange familiarity as you walked through the dimly lit narrow hallway. Right by the entrance to the right was a brighter, doorless room that probably served as a library once - the walls were covered in thick mahogany shelves filled to the brim with colourful books, and a beautiful dark brown desk was placed in the middle of it, with a fuzzy looking carpet adorning the wooden floors. Further in the hallway, frames with photos of people you couldn’t really place were decorating the blue walls and you smiled taking them all in. A photo of 3 people at the beach, a family, you noted, a photo in a beautiful location somewhere in the mountains, a photo of a dad carrying a small girl on his back, both of them laughing widely - all so beautiful, so intimate. On one of the images was scribbled something that caught your attention. It was an image of a girl, young and beautiful, with light and wavy hair and holding what you knew from movies to be a graduation gown, throwing her cap in the air. The handwritten note on it said “Our little Marj graduating summa cum laude at only 18! - Johns Hopkins, June 2123.” 

Shocked, you removed the frame from the wall and looked at it closer. Your mum. This was your mum’s house, the house she grew up in as a child. What were you doing here? What was happening to you? You held on to the picture as you moved through the house that eventually opened into a big and brightly lit room, that served as both the kitchen and the living room. In the corner of the room lay a beautiful grand piano and a few guitars, all on stands. Through the big windows and the door that opened to the backyard, you saw a large body of water, and you realised the noises you were hearing earlier were waves, crashing on the sandy beach. You have never seen anything like it and couldn’t help stare for a while, just taking in the beauty of this world you never thought you would be able to experience for yourself. You found yourself picking up one of the guitars on the stand that you knew was your mum’s, since it was the same one you have…. had on Pandora, and opened the door to the outside, slowly walking towards the open sea. 

You frowned as you made your way through the fine warm sand at all these new experiences and sensations you have never had before, and the frown deepened at a blanket on the ground, almost inviting you to sit down, almost as if it was laid out for you. Feeling safe and blissful in this new world you now inhabited, you allowed yourself to do as you were silently bid. 

You loved the malleable feeling of the sand as you stretched your legs and noticed it moved to accommodate your body. The blanket was soft, and you felt inspired to pick up the guitar and tune it, strumming it gently. You couldn’t believe what was happening to you, the fact that you were here, on Earth, in your mum’s childhood home. You didn’t know what to think, but you thought that if this is death, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. 

“My love.” 

That voice. Your breathing and hands both stopped to bring you to a dead still. Your eyes immediately filled with tears that spilled like effortless waterfalls, a visceral reaction to a voice you never thought you’d ever hear again. Your head snapped in the direction of the voice so quickly it gave you whiplash, but you didn’t care. Nothing else mattered in this life but this voice. 

“Mum??” You got up to your feet as rapidly as your human body could handle and ran in the arms of the woman you loved more than anything in this world, more than life itself. You were sobbing as you removed yourself form her arms, touching her face with your hands, touching her arms, making sure she was real, that she was here. 

“Oh my God, baby, it’s ok, I’m right here.” 

She was trying to calm you down enough so you could utter a word, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t stop wailing, couldn’t stop your body expelling so many tears you completely soaked the top of her t-shirt. 

Slowly, she moved you to where you were sat just a few minutes ago, and you were a blubbering mess, unable to utter a single syllable to this woman you have spoken enough to fill out novels in your dreams, in your thoughts, in your soul. 

“You’re alright, my love. Everything’s alright.” She was removing tears as they fell from your eyes with her palm, gently cupping your face and smiling at you, with enough warmth you knew it could power up this whole world if she let it. 

Eventually, you found your voice. “Mum, what is this? How are you here? Am I dead?”

She laughed at your barrage of questioning, remembering fondly how you have always been such a curious cat, always had so many questions for her, relentless in your quest for knowledge. 

“You’re with Eywa, my love. We’re with Eywa. And no, you are not dead yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yes, baby. It seems Eywa is not quite done with you yet.”

“What does the Great Mother want from me?”

“I think she wants you to make a choice, baby.”

“I’ve already made my choice.” 

“I don’t think you have, my love.” 

You thought about her words for a while. You thought you made your choice. I mean, you were here, weren’t you? Dead. Or in purgatory, one of the two, but still, not alive. You thought about your life. About your beautiful mother sitting in front of you, and the moment she gave her last breath to the world. Her funeral, rain pouring over you like the endless sorrow that hasn’t left you since. You thought about how hard it was to sleep at night, how the nightmares never stopped, how the sadness became a confidant you knew you could never shake - you knew you didn’t want to shake. You thought about your dad - the guilt you felt because of him, his actions, his murders, how they haunted you in dark corridors, how the Na’vi people cursed you in your dreams and told you you were a demon, just like he was. You thought about his body in the woods, his exo-suit that he left a few steps behind, and how you couldn’t walk barefoot after that. You thought about the pills, your only friends, the only cure for your debilitating insomnia. You thought about your sleep paralysis demons, crawling on top of you and sitting on your chest until you couldn’t breathe anymore, watching you scream and laughing at you mockingly, how they always looked like you, how they were just a dark, cursed version of yourself, the you you knew you looked like in your soul. You thought about Neteyam leaving - the last straw, the one that left you irreparably broken, the one that skinned you alive and left you for dead. 

You thought you made your choice. 

“I miss you, ma. So much.” The crying never stopped, but you held her hand and tried to revel in the feeling, in knowing she was here and you were with her. Even if you weren’t sure about your choice before, you were when you looked into her bright and caring eyes. “I just found you, I can’t lose you again.”

“I miss you, too, bunny. I have kept an eye on you for almost 9 years, everyday regretting not fighting harder to be in your life.”

You frowned at her words. “You fought hard, ma. Your death was a tragedy, but it was unavoidable.”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean maybe?”

“I mean I fell in the same bad patterns as you did, bunny. I could have asked Mo’at for the transfer, but I didn’t. Just like you didn’t. It hurts me so much to see you make the same mistakes as I did. I love you so much, and I wish I could have healed enough in life to not bestow on you this grief. I wish I could have been braver and stronger, I wish I could have asked for help when I felt like the world was caving in on itself on top of me. Maybe if I did, then you wouldn’t be here.

When your dad died, most of me died along with him. Having to have and raise you by myself was the toughest thing I have ever had to brave. And I’d like to think I did a good job, and it was easy enough, because you were the best baby anyone’s ever had, but inside I was screaming. Every night was hell and I struggled with surviving for the rest of my life. When the cancer came, I was terrified to leave you, I was terrified of knowing you would have to be in this world alone, but selfishly, I was relieved. Because the hurt would finally stop. Mo’at, Jake, Neytiri, Norm, Max, everyone tried to get me to accept the consciousness transfer, but I didn’t. Because it was my consciousness that was killing me slowly. A new body wasn’t going to change that.”

You were reeling at the confession, finding it hard to keep breathing, hard to keep going, even in death. Was there no peace? Were you never going to be at peace? You felt so sad at her words, so angry at her admitting she didn’t let you in, that she abandoned you without fighting as hard as she possibly could to heal, to stay alive for you. She lied about being happy, about you being everything she ever needed, she died without even trying the consciousness transfer. How could she ever d-

You gasped in shock at the realisation. 

“What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!”

“You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.“

“Baby, are you still with me?”

All of a sudden, all new thoughts entered your mind from the ones before. You thought you made your choice. But then you thought about Pandora, the beautiful world you loved so much, that despite not being born for, you climbed its trees and ran its grounds like you had. You thought about how happy laying on the grass made you, just feeling how each blade tickled your skin and brought a laughter that was so pure, so unassuming - so real. You thought about your guitar, and the guitar Neteyam gave you, and the peace you felt when you played them, when you sang your feelings, like a litany to cleanse your soul.

You thought about Kiri - your beautiful sister who you scoured the woods with, finding rocks and flowers and watching her crafting necklaces while the light shone brightly on your faces. You thought about Lo’ak. Your movie marathons, the endless laughter and the warmth he brought to your soul, that felt forever childlike when around him. You thought about Spider, the monkey boy who was the only one who could truly understand what you were going through as a human child growing on a different planet.

You thought about Norm and Max, how they raised you without ever asking for anything in return, how they kept you in their lab and bestowed upon you all of their knowledge and skill and the look they gave you whenever you put anything they taught you to good use. You thought about Jake and Neytiri, your surrogate parents that you always pushed away, and they always came back, loving you unconditionally despite all your emotional shortcomings. You thought about Tuk, how she looked at you like you were the most amazing sister she had, how you used to be the only one who could put her to sleep when she was a fussy infant, how she loved your voice and clung to your every word.

You thought about your mum, who despite being gone for almost a decade, you still felt in you every day, whenever you touched a book you know she loved, whenever you were in the lab, whenever you looked in the mirror and the eyes that greeted you might as well be hers. Finally, you thought about Neteyam. The person you loved more than life itself, more than the sun and the moon, more than every star in the sky. The person who has been here all your life, who stood by you no matter what, who only left so you didn’t have to suffer further. You thought about his smile, his eyes which were like the lighthouse that would always guide you home, his touch that brought life back into you, his love for you, that shone bright and eternal. 

You realised then you weren’t ready to say goodbye to all of those things, you wanted more, needed more. You wanted to know what it was like to live, fully live, you wanted to know what it felt like to have a proper family, you wanted to give yourself fully to the man you loved, you wanted to know if your kids would have your mum’s eyes and their dad’s kindness and patience. You wanted to experience Pandora’s sky with Neyn, and you wanted to find a cure for the virus that killed you. You wanted to help the Na’vi fight the Sky People, and you wanted to show them there are good humans out there, and you come from one, and are one. You needed more time. 

You were crying so hard you felt your hand going and grasping at your heart, trying to somehow claw through your chest and grasp it in your palms and hold it, trying to stop it from hurting. “I need to go back. I have to go back, I need more time.”  

As soon as you said that, you heard a sound coming from the sky, almost like far away thunder. You didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t have time to think about it. 

“Ma, I have to go back. I have to make it right. I’m not ready, mum. I’m not ready to go yet.” 

“I know, baby. It seems you finally made your choice.” 

You saw far into the distance, and saw the edges of the world dissipate slowly, leaving behind a white glow in their wake. You knew what was coming, you knew the one thing you still had to do before it happened.

“Mum, I forgive you. I’m so sorry life took so much from you and I am sorry I couldn’t help more. I’m sorry you had to hurt alone. I love you so much, I will always love you. You will always be a part of me. I forgive you.” 

You saw your beautiful mum take a deep breath in, and her body started glowing with the same glow that was gently overtaking the world. 

“I have roamed this world for almost 10 years, unable to move on. I am finally free, my love. I can rest now. Thank you.” 

Before she would inevitably leave you again, you needed to know one more thing.

“Mum, was my dad evil?”

“Oh, baby. Your dad was a beautiful soul, and although he had many flaws, he was not evil. When you are ready to open your bottom desk drawer, make sure you look around you as well. All will be revealed in time, my love. And listen to Kiri more when she talks to you about plants, you might be surprised what could come of it.” She smiled kindly and gave you a mischievous wink, and with that, she vanished. 

“MUM!” You screamed, anguished at losing her again. 

You heard her voice echo in the sky. 

“Do not go gentle into that good night, 

Old age should burn and rave at close of day

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

You smiled through tears at the poem she used to read you at least once a week when you were a baby. Once it was done, her voice was replaced with another, and you realised what the previous sounds in the sky were. The only voice in the world that mattered.

“Atan! Please come back, please come back. You can’t leave me, please!”

I’m coming, my light. 

“Push another round of Epi.” 

Neteyam watched as the two humans were working tirelessly to try to bring you back to life. He thought he knew what pain was, what grief and sorrow were, but realised he didn’t - not until the last 30 minutes, as he saw you die in front of him, not until he saw your body being electrocuted and needles going in your heart, not until not any of this torture worked, not until you were still dead, not until his worst fear in life materialised like a bad magic trick. 

“We’ve been doing this for too long, Norm. Even if she comes back now, her brain was without oxygen for 30 minutes and I-“

“Just fucking do it, Max!” 

Neteyam saw Norm get the machine with the two pads that shocked your body ready again, and he felt himself hope, just a little hope, for the last time. He heard himself talk over the noise, over the constant flat tone of the machine that was connected to your heart.

“Atan! Please come back, please come back. You can’t leave me, please!”

Norm put the pads on your body as soon as Max injected you with what they called Epi. 

“CLEAR!” He screamed and pressed the handles of the pads, and your body convulsed violently at the shock they administered. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  

The room went completely quiet. He saw Norm and Max look at you with mouths agape and then look at each other. Then they started crying. 

“We have sinus rhythm.”

Neteyam felt his heartbeat thump in his chest, felt dizzy and confused. The beeping was different than the tone he heard before. Why were they crying? He turned around to face his family and noticed them hugging, and laughing wildly, screaming and crying at the sight, and he let himself believe, for a second, that this was not bad news.

“What is sinus rhythm?” He said, voice hoarse from the amount of crying he had lived through. 

“She’s alive.” Norm says through panted breaths and muted tears. 

She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. 

It felt like Neteyam took his first breath, like he was born again. They say every Na’vi is born twice, and although the second one was technically when he became a man, he would argue the second time was right now. Those words brought him back to life, in an instant and he felt like he could finally breathe. He could finally live.

“Neteyam”, Max puts a hand on his shoulder, “She’s been dead for 30 minutes. She is alive, but we don’t know what state she will be in when and if she wakes.”

No, you will be fine. He had no doubt in his mind anymore. Eywa has spoken. Eywa brought you back for a reason. 

Hours passed, and you didn’t wake. The two scientists gave you pills and liquids that were going in you through various tubes in your body. Neteyam was tortured at the sight, but was consoled with knowing these were keeping you alive. Eventually, they left you to rest, not being able to do anything more until you would wake up… if you woke up. His parents and siblings, and Spider also left, not too far, as they decided to sleep in the hub. Neteyam stood by your side the whole time. He held your hand which felt so small in his much bigger one, and found himself tracing every hair, blemish and vein on your arm. His gaze then shifted onto your face, which looked peaceful, a deep contrast to the one he saw just half a day ago, although it felt like a different life ago. Your beautiful lips were slightly parted as you were breathing with the help with a transparent mask that covered half your face. Your cheeks had a rosy tint to it, and were marked by shadows given by your eyelashes that were resting on them. Your forehead was finally free of the scowl or frown that seemed to plague it most days, giving you a serene look about you. Angel.

Neteyam’s gaze fell around the room, taking in all the equipment that was required to keep you alive. He learned that the beeping machine was called an electrocardiogram, and through the little sensors on your chest, it could feel your heartbeat. He learned that the machine that was pumping your blood was called a dialysis machine, and it was helping you clear your blood of waste since your body couldn’t do that by itself anymore. He learned the mask was helping you breathe, since you body couldn’t that by itself either. He was eternally grateful to these machines, and the men wielding them, for the part they were playing in you not being taken away from him. He has never liked humans, but more and more, he could understand their beauty, and that, in their own way, they were just doing their best - isn’t that the only thing one can hope for? 

Neteyam was pulled out of his musings by the tiniest movement of your hand that was rested in his. He immediately snapped his eyes to your hand, and gasped loudly when you moved again - just a small twitch, nothing more, but it was enough to electrify his entire body, deep shockwaves running through him from where you touched him to each extremity. His gaze shifted on to your face, and his breath stopped when his eyes met yours. You looked tired, so tired, but alive. Your eyes crinkled at the sides as you gave him a smile, and his world shifted on its axis, never to be the same again. Your hand slowly and shakily made its way to the mask rested on your face, and you pulled on it until it came off, looking like the movement hurt, like it took all the effort you had. He could see your smile properly now, the most beautiful sight he has ever laid his eyes on - this world, the sky, this entire universe could not hold a candle to this smile. 

“Hi.” You said through shallow panted breaths. 

Neteyam cried, his tears flowing freely, the weight of this day bearing down on him heavily, even as he was watching you, feeling you, seeing you alive. He smiled as he brought his big hand to your face, and cupped it as gently as he knew how. You put your hand over his slowly and deliberately, and continued smiling even with the tears that were making their way down your cheeks and into your smile. 

“Hi.” That’s all he could say, and he knew it was enough. 

It was insane - the thought of having to leave your side for even the split of a second, but he knew his family would never forgive him if he didn’t tell them you were awake. So he went, running through the corridors of the labs and hub, trying to find his way, screaming for them at the top of his lungs, hoping he wouldn’t have to waste time searching. Eventually, they came out panicked, praying they won’t have to hear the worst. They were exalted when that wasn’t the case, and Neteyam saw his three younger siblings, as well as his honorary brother, run as fast as the lab allowed towards the room you were in. He followed suit, sending a glowing, relieved, happy smile towards their parents, which they returned with the same enthusiasm. Norm and Max were already in the room when they arrived, alerted by all the commotion. They were checking in on you, adjusted medicines and slowly removing the mask from around your face. 

You were in a lot of pain, that you could feel even with the morphine you knew was supposed to keep your body nice and numb, although you suspected you were the reason it wasn’t working as well as it should. You felt every breath, every heartbeat, like it was a shot to the chest, but you didn’t complain, and stood there as your two favourite humans were working hard trying to make sure you were going to be alive for longer than a few minutes this time. You felt an immense sense of gratitude at their help and their incessant need to keep you safe and healthy, despite how horribly you treated both of them. You hoped you can earn their forgiveness in time. In time… you smiled softly at the thought. You had time. 

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE V: ACCEPTANCE

You were startled at all the sounds and voices coming from the corridors, and you jumped out of your skin when you saw four figures rushing towards you smiling and crying, laughing at you and approaching your body and the bed without concern for all the equipment or the tubes, or Norm and Max. You tried laughing at the endearing sight, but could only manage a forced exhale.

“You’re alive!” Tuk’s soft sobs brought you to tears again, all the events of the last few days quickly taking a toll on your already jagged body.

You nodded softly at her, giving her the biggest smile you could muster. You looked up at Lo’ak and Kiri and felt them taking each of your hand in theirs and tugging at them, holding you with whatever they could without inconveniencing you too much. Lo’ak was tugging at the IV going in your vein, making it hurt, but you couldn’t care less. You were so happy to see him, see them, so happy they found it in their infinite hearts to forgive you. You didn’t know how you still had enough fluid in you to produce even more tears, but there they were, falling again. 

Neteyam walked into the room with his parents, who both brought their hands to their face at the sight of you, and looked at you with so much love your heart tugged painfully. You couldn’t speak, there were no words to convey the love and appreciation you had for them, for this family you gained, the family you would never leave again. Instead, you weakly, with all the power you had, brought your curled finger to your forehead and motioned towards them. I see you, I’m sorry. I see you. 

Neytiri let out a cry and approach your legs, which she grabbed with her hands and held them softly, giving you a small squeeze. 

Neteyam made his way to your side again, and pushed Lo’ak out of the way so he could be close to you, and took your hand in his again, holding to you tightly. You have never seen him like this, so possessive, so desperate to hold you, and you thought you would probably be the same if you watched him die in front of you. You brought his hand to your lips slowly and kissed it. Thank you.

You would have a lifetime to catch up and tell them everything you have wanted to say out loud your whole life but were too afraid to, but in order to do that, you had one thing to do first. You turned your attention to Kiri, who was still holding on to the arm Neteyam wasn’t. 

Finally, you found your voice. It was raw and guttural, and cracked every other word, but it was there. You would learn to use it again in time. 

“What do you say you and me kill this virus, forever?” 

Passed down like folk songs, Our love lasts so long

Tag list (thank you thank you thank you x): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties @mommyneytiri @ultimatebluff @elizarikaallen @yeosxxx @ssc7514 @lolcaca @jackiehollanderr @bunnyrose01 @therealbloom @neteyams-queue @ @r1dd1kulus

[eleganthologramcolor]

Spreading my illness of being addicted to magical AUs and also absolute adoration for the relationships written out about characters who aren't pure human 😙

I love every ounce of fantasy creature 141 I can get but I would LOVE to see more of the same but flipped.

Reader who is a vicious fairy tale critter who's trust has to be earned before she allows anyone to come close. Soap finds himself leaving out meat as if he were trying to feed a stray cat, trying to get this thing to warm up to him.

Reader who is a goddess or even a demigod, who maybe only pays attention to worshippers, or maybe they're shy of such a thing, especially when a warrior as famed as Ghost is the one kneeling at their shrine.

A Reader who is only half of a mythical being, being able to shift back and forth between their human form and mythical form fully, unaware of the bewildered stare from Gaz when he catches her crawling out of the water unharmed after disappearing the night before when she was caught in a wave.

A Reader who is part of a feared beast, terrorizing locals and travelers who enter their domain, suddenly challenged by a craftsmen from the village. Price staying up at night researching the beast and finally tracking it down, only to discover its hybrid nature makes them as small as any human, and opts to tame them rather than returning with their head.

Reader who is feared, worshipped, or revered, a reader who is observed with awe and curiosity. A dual power dynamic of a man who is much larger than you, yet you who can be much more dangerous if you feel threatened. Allowing any of 141 to have control only because you don't show your fangs, put away your claws, or lash at him with your tail. An unexpected softness between a warrior and a bloody forest fiend, or the gentle patience of a bard playing an apologetic and sweet melody trying to coax down the skittish and pretty thing that scrambled up the tree when he disturbed their nest.

[capsizedskeleton]

epic the musical live review over a few days ft. getting high during storm saga

TROY SAGA thunder bringer was one of the first songs i heard so going to the horse and the infant and hearing don't make me do this please don't make me do this!!! i didn't know that was a callback reminds me of pathologic is great and here's why, where hbomberguy points out child murder is such a taboo and it's that game's opener (depending on the character) here it's the musical's opener fffuck okay ruthlessness was also one of the first songs i heard so "600 men under my command" after i know it will become at least 43 then 0 is hghhhhh. esp when they're similar melodies, the first time the number is mentioned in full speed ahead

CYCLOPS SAGA so i watched a few animatics of these as well before troy saga just bc mmm animatics and oh recontextualized w the last two songs of the saga thats. hm. IIIIII AM YOUR DARKEST MOMENT all the uses of die with the last sound stretched out emphasizing the eye sound oough remember them. remember us. remember me OOHHH ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT THAT. ARE YOU SURE

STORM got up to the first few animatics i ended up watching. by now i might be able to categorize the animators? gigi as Action, Cinema, wolfy as a few lines seeming delicate and shape so solidly, nealillustrator as the GOAT (ok im biased they've only got thunder bringer but it's really good and i know them from bnha animatics ok), ximena as line. color. solid expression fav things from various ruthlessness animatics: poseidon being a shadow horse with front-facing eyes, a spiky merman but tentacles on bottom, literally water that could form into different things, only his hair being water, a horse, a guy, the stageplay version, everyone having different amounts of frames and different styles, like every!! time i watch an animatic i spot a new good take, beauty in everryy style, all the goregous water animation, capturing odysseus, submerging him, putting him in a whirlpool. that man is now a truly soggy cat am i insane or is there wind blowing in the last verse of that. after what have you done. maybe ive just had shit earbuds before. brutal

i got caught up in listening to done for even though that was skipping ahead. i am going to eat gigi's animatic whole. the corresponding basslines for each character how ody's replaces circe's?? now watching there are other ways. the two together as a beautiful story in 6 minutes is amazing

CIRCE normal now i like done for and there are other ways a lot more than puppeteer. this seems to be a pattern in which songs i like in each saga eury's bit leading up to "a woman" reallyyyyy sounds like hamilton wouldn't you like beat drop??? done for and there are other ways are fucking brilliant they're a whole story like i said before. ill say it again. absolutely entrancing. love the take that circe's about to kill ody before he rejects her and starts going on about his wife. also the transition after "that prophet is dead" bungggg and then the backing track hghh i am going to eat the melodic motifs i am going to swallow the chords whole AAAAGHHH

underworld again. weaker start, but oooh full speed ahead a bit of a reprise moment there and ody's mom i did not expect that. left for too long wandered too far gods REPRISE OF I SEE A SONG OF PAST ROMANCE HELLOOOO halfway into no longer you and OOOOOHHHH FUCK this shit HITS despite everything it's NOT you

NO MONSTER THE SLIP INTO CORRUPTION gigi i would die for you and this sequence. you know the one

THUNDER suffering is so good (normal sentence) i love the back and forth the you know im too shy the tone change at the lair of scylla listened to different beast on the train (first time listening to a song w/o animatic at first) and oooh the switch up!!!! we're in it now! DIFFERENT BEAST NOW HE'S A DIFFERENT BEAAST NOWWWWWW scylla.... oho the harmony. mutiny ok the opening i fw but why tf is eurylochus upset about the six men sacrifice when he was the one who suggested with circe that they just leave the men behind. also luck runs out callback i love my reprises why is helios lowk brushed over like i wouldve expected odysseus or eurylochus to talk about heyyy dont anger the gods like we did before thunder bringer slay. we already know. the bumping beat from the horse and the infant we knowwww. it's a little funny mutiny is RIGHT before thunder bringer like. hey crew you just stabbed him you should be a little less surprised he chooses to sacrifice yall. not even chosen. not even zeus was surprised by odysseus' immediate reaction

MISC. THOUGHTS

talked to a few friends while making this, wrote the sentence "i can feel the old greek mythology elementary/middle school neurons firing up again" because i CAN feel them god and it's also like watching musical animatics after school except im not 13 and deeply lonely this time. decided to write a fic of what happens between each saga and in a bit of wondering for that decided to look up the actual story of the odyssey (shmoop is not perfect but it is decent) and wow that's a lot of changes made from the original that contribute to a well-characterized musical! god it's such a good time. is this what dracula daily people felt like, reliving an old (relative to present) story and relishing in the Themes?

FAV SONG(S) FROM EACH SAGA

the horse and the infant

survive, remember them

ruthlessness

done for

no longer you (the OPPOSITE of that undertale quote)

different beast, thunder bringer

TLDR

excited for wisdom saga !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mercless]

indulgently , but what would talon's impressions of rell be if the three of them travelled together ? and even more indulgently , does talon ever get used to yone's humming or whistling ?

Once they learn why Rell is also out for the harbingers Talon will settle with it, maybe shake their head and remark on how they were forming a crew to fight the inevitable. Without a history of family or even a place of belonging, there ain't much empathy they can share with her, only understanding for her search. Maybe be a little too pushy of a voice telling her seeking revenge will be good, actually. If Yone glares at them hard enough, they'll relent though. Nothing to the young witch personally, but Talon already doesn't handle company too well. If all three of them were to take up travelling, Talon would probably try and be ahead of the others, work as a scout. But this won't work during long trails of horseback. (getting a horse for them is also gonna be a problem with the beasts scaring so easily...) They'd ask Rell questions now and then on her powers, and what her trickery with metal and fire is capable of. Knowing a thing or two with their own magic of summoning brimstone weapons, they might even offer her pointers or help with her training. They'd also share stories of all kinds if asked, they might have one or two about other witches. This would all depend on if Rell even let them talk to her much, let alone tolerated their existence near her. Talon's very much on the same page of 'I would rather the demon-thing was anywhere but here.'

Noticeably, Talon would be standoffish and cruel when all three begin travelling together, making pointed remarks especially at Yone's expense. But as they went on, seeing both the gunslinger and witch's prowess, they'd become far less loose of tongue, and their avoidance would be more from something troubling them, than unfriendliness. No matter the outcome of their little venture, and if the harbingers can be stopped at all, Talon knows very well how both of them feel on hellspawn. And nothing can sway them that the second they're finished, their alliance will no longer be in place. And against both of them, Talon knows they don't have much of a chance. While I'm side-tangent-ing here I'll also say that Talon would try to keep their affliction to themself as much as possible. Any questions about their feathers will be blocked, sidelined, ignored, or they would provide an ill-omen and say nothing else. They'd try to keep any coughs out of sight or ear of both of them - there's no sympathy for their plight, and they ain't looking for it.

With both Yone and Rell around, Talon's nature would simmer far quicker, which would be conflicting to them; both unnerving, and welcome. When they hear Yone hum or sing for the first time, mostly likely after being in his company a while, they'd watch with a quizzical look and ask why he was doing that without an instrument accompaniment - whistling would be given a grimace and the question would be to interrupt it after a short while. Even if he were to explain to the best of his ability, Talon would still find it odd, but with future tunes they would ask him what particular ones are when he finishes, or if they're repeated, ask if it was this or that. Maybe while around a fire one night, they'd ask if they could hear a full song, and what it meant or the history behind it. Talon has no intent on joining in or complimenting how Yone carries a tune, but they'll learn one in return for having to listen to it. Whistling will still be unwelcome, but they'd give an excuse like 'it'll disturb the horses' rather then say it's irritating them, or even suggest he hums instead; accidentally said along the lines of, 'it sounds better when you hum.'

[roseytoesy]

vore ask cause im not sure if this was mentioned before, do your predcrushes stay strictly as pred or do you have moments of like wanting to make them prey so you can keep them safe and close too (vore is a comfort for me <3) -opossum anon

OH heck yea!

first off thank you so much for this ask opossum anon! I've been itching to write something for a while but had no set inspiration. also congrats on being my first real ask in like 4 months.

Anyway! onto your ask! warning it will be very long cause I went a bit crazy remembering all my pred crushes.

Also warning to start I start off on legend of zelda and don't stop for like 6 names... also sorry for the crazy comments im just letting my mind barf all over this post.

I have had pred crushes on just about every enemy in most legend of zelda games, but ill stick to ones that make the most sense for this ask otherwise this will take forever.

Ghirahim: sassy demon lord and sword to the demon king demise, very much a pred from how he likes to be above those around him. could I see him as prey? honestly no, especially not with that tongue. this man can summon daggers with a snap of his fingers, so unless he's somehow willing, there is no way you'll survive his onslaught to your insides.

Link: the hero of legend and owner of the triforce of courage. yes yes yes. Hes been hurt in many games, been saved by others many times too. so absolutly i can see him needing some rescue and rest inside an allies coughsidoncough stomach.

Midna: we meet her in her cursed imp form. She's bossy and mischievous, but not invincible. I have daydreamed many times about her when I played twilight princess. and yea I could see her needing to be eaten and kept safe from the harsh light of the day/light spirits. she wouldn't be happy but she would show appreciation for it once she realized why its happening. Her twilight form is much more powerful so I honestly don't believe that that form would need protection.

Sidon: BIG SHARK MAN. A favorite of many for his award winning smile and large stature and larger heart. I adore this Zora so much and many others agree that he is a kindhearted pred. Could he be prey? sure in dire circumstances but he would have to be shrunk in the first place for anyone to even have a chance of getting him down. he wouldn't mind as long as he was made aware that it was safe.

The imprisioned: A hulking beast that is the cursed form of the demon king. its literally a giant spiky egg with only 2 legs and a giant mouth. I have pred crushes on a lot of the boss monsters but this one is the most memorable cause duh. and no this is a monster with dark magic. no eating.

Ganondorf: specifically tears of the kingdom, man has a DILF body. his story is so cool and he takes great pleasure in the suffering of others, being above them. he is an amazing villainous pred, but never prey.

Abigale (from stardew valley): my crystal eating wife! a girl with sass and a kind adventurous heart, maybe some magic too. A gal who is fine being eaten or eating the farmer when either are in trouble. She adores the idea and its like a new adventure every time since everything is moving and stuff. She would be very thankful for the save even if it is a bit unconventional.

Reaper leviathan (subnautica): Giant monster everyone knows and fear. An apex predator of the sea. could it be eaten? maybe when shrunk, but good luck. Those teeth and pinchers are wicked sharp.

Emperor leviathan: A beautiful smart creature of the deep, who wanted nothing more than to ensure her children could go out into the world. a kind pred who has minor healing properties thanks to that special enzyme. Not one to be eaten though as one of the largest creatures in the entire game. even her babies are the size of an adult human.

Al-An: I totally haven't been making my own architect OC for this exact kind of thing noooo. in my heart I like to think that he would be a good protective if not a bit oblivious pred. if he were much smaller, maybe he could be eaten but the body shape and density would make things very difficult. also with his ability to just teleport out if he was unwilling.

John J Juniper (I expect you to die): HHHHHHhhhhhhhhh charismatic preds are a weakness dude. This amazing actor turned villain had some of the best lines and subtle hints for just about anything in this game. he would adore eating an unexperienced agent. He wouldn't take well to being eaten, especially by an agent, he would squirm and kick and make all kinds of comments. maybe he will eventually calm down but that's only if he knows he's stuck/safe and if he knows/trusts the person who ate him.

Doc Ock (marvel Spiderman villain): those arms make good restraints and the energy he gives off is just to perfect. he was a kind man before the implants. and with the no way home movie he was able to regain his senses. I love both corrupt or kind preds so this is amazing. You would have to make sure that he (and his arms) were comfortable with being eaten otherwise you could easily be skewered. in a dangerous situation when he would need help, yea he could understand. maybe study it himself later.

Remus (sanders sides): this guy is literally intrusive thoughts personified. he would happily eat or be eaten by anything/anybody. he finds it a crazy idea and adventure. really odd prey that asks some insane questions. he does get into trouble but since he's imaginary he can handle whatever happens. he appreciates that you care enough about him to eat him, like some crazed beloved animal.

Beel (obey me): The personification of gluttony. like come on. He already hints at eating the player so many times its just normal conversation with him. I think that if he was shrunk and some how satiated he would be ok being eaten, he understand what its like to be so hungry you could eat a person or 5. If he was in danger yet somehow you weren't then he would be ok with it, if you were both in danger he'd be more likely to eat you to protect you. he'd rather die protecting others, since he failed once before.

Floyd (twisted wonderland): This crazy eel twin loves to play and mess with other guppies around him, so of course he loves to scare people via vore. probably a more common occurrence for merfolk since swallowing things whole is a common thing fish do. he would not be happy in a stomach, mostly just because its so boring. he has quite a bit of power to him so be careful cause he could cause some damage if he decides to be violent.

jade: The more silent and deadly of the twins. he is a mastermind of mischief and manipulation, enjoying the torment of others. He only consumes others when truly hungry or he needs a special kind of power trip after some form of immense disappointment. he might not seem too upset about being eaten if he was in danger, but know that he is plotting to get you back in some way for this. even if its safe you gave him a decent scare, its only fair he returns the favor~

Azul: The caecilian business man himself. a sly pred who doesn't indulge on others very often, he likes to think he's above that compared to the twins habits. Nevertheless, when he gets a special opportunity he wont turn it down. he has been eaten in the past before. and he vowed it would never happen again, outside of Floyd and Jade. So you would have to be very close to him otherwise it's going to be very difficult and afterward your life will be hell from the Octavinelle group. if youre someone he trusts and he was truely in danger, he would curl up inside and shutter, its hard to admit he needed help, and in such a way as traumatic as this. poor dude will need some time to recover.

Sun/moon (security breach): the day care assistants have such an amazing personality to them! so many fun stories for them too out there. sun isn't much of a pred but will be in dire situations. meanwhile moon is very much a pred and will gobble up troublemakers to detain them more often than not. gives them a good scare too. both would hate being eaten, the wetness of insides doesn't mix well with an animatronic body. even if you ate sun they would change to moon in the darkness inside, unless provided with a light. sun is miffed and a bit more sassy about it, more upset at the cleaning he will have to do. and moon is similar but more dangerous. if unwilling he will rip apart soft insides.

Eye of Cthulhu (terraria): again I'm a sucker for monsters that are mostly mouth. fun monster pred. could you eat him, not really since it has the ability to phase through the ground and objects easy enough.

Leshy (inscryption): The scribe of beasts, who acts like one himself when in control of the game. the way he grabs the player and makes them go through hard animalistic trials and sacrifices, it only makes sense that he would make a good pred. likely describing everything like the DM that he is. He would not be happy about being eaten, even in a dire situation, he hates being overpowered, finding it unbelievable in many cases. would he be understanding, yes since of course his whole moto is "sacrifices must be made".

Extra!! my soul mate @abellyfulloffriends my beloved switch. he protects me and I protect him on hard days. and yes I would absolutely tuck him away and protect him when he needs it cause he would do the same for me. Its a wonderful thing we have. Just wanted to add this in cause I'm a sap.

[paviastrashyrings]

Cant sleep?

Neither can I, dear readers, so join me now in sleepless dreams of the elegantly tragic Forget Me Not.

I would imagine that he, too, does not sleep soundly. Closing his eyes only to be met with ridicule from mouths and eyes that haunt him every hour of every day. His skin itches at the thought of being looked down on as if he were human.

Long since has he pushed away the human need for love, he doesn't want to be anywhere near what he believes humans to be, so filthy in all of their wretchedness. I do believe, however, that in the early years of his spiral before he became what he was; he yearned for kind eyes and gentle words.

Something. Anything. Anyone to just tell him that maybe revenge is not as sweet as he could imagine it to be; to save him from his descent into decadence with a guiding hand.

I'm sure there is a part of him that he keeps locked away, deep in the recesses of the machine he knows to be his heart, that still wishes something or someone could love him for what beast he has become.

To guide this wounded beast out, to love it gently and teach it warmth by hand, it would take a saint. Brush his hair back with ginger touches and count the scales that trail up his arm; how it makes him itch.

And itch he does, picking and peeling, leaving individual scales instead of a full shed. He would hate to be known, to be loved after everything he has been through; everything he has done and said.

Patience makes him ill, the want to save someone who is long dead in his mind, and yet the soft beating of the machine heart in his chest protests. Maybe he could learn.

Maybe.

Whether it be morning, noon or night; dreams do not come easy to all. I hope this has offered some form of reprieve, to let your mind wander like this is a quiet kind of bliss. Wherever you are, dear readers, I wish you a pleasant day and sweet dreams when the time comes. Signed yours forever, Moon.

[chalkchapel]

Saya no Uta: Thoughts/Review

Finished the game last night, hopefully I'm not forgetting any key points in my review.  Beware of spoilers!

Saya no uta is the most utterly disgusting shit of a media, but in the same time it is painfully beautiful and paradoxically boundless. I am simply amazed by it. I enjoyed all the hours i spent playing it. This is probably one of the best and most impactful visual novels of the decade. At some point I couldn't sleep because of it, all i could think about is the game. The scenario played on repeat in my mind, etched into my brain. The opening scene captured my attention with its vivid imagery and dissonant music. The game quickly dives into the main story without any wait. It is a world gone mad, a love story between an inhuman organism and a man. A required love, mandatory for Saya. She is a fast adapting and learning organism, created to conquer and assert control. The concept of "song" for Saya represents her understanding of attachment and love, a lesson taught to her by her father. Ruling of this realm was her duty to fulfil.. Her purpose, that all life shares, to reproduce. Her song heralds the coming of the new world and the destruction of the old. All she's ever known is dysfunction. All she's ever known is survival. Once she had used her father to acquire a deep understanding of humanity, she should've began her invasion. Her only flaw was her own humanization. She was taught that creating a family happens when one finds love. Love is something she can not share with a human. Without love's blessing, she is unable to populate this desolate world with her own kind. Not until she meets Fuminori.

A man whose view of the world drastically changed after being in a car accident. Fuminori perceives his surroundings as if they are drenched in blood and entrails, with worms squirming under his feet and all humans appearing as terrifying abominations. That is, all but one. In the hospital, he encounters a young girl who becomes his source of stability and comfort in a world that has descended into madness. She introduces herself as Saya, and Fuminori's immediate attachment with her is the sole reason he refrains from succumbing to despair and taking his own life. Her cuteness is amplified by the stark contrast between her and the bustling environment around her, creating a sense of dissonance as she stands out like a delicate flower in a chaotic city. She seeks pleasure in scaring the other mentally ill patients, but becomes captivated by Fuminori when he reveals that he doesn't find her particularly scary. He sees her as a beautiful girl. Hence in her eyes, he is a man that can give her what she demands. Love. As he comes to terms with his new existence, they quickly grow attached. He wants her to move in with him and live in the home that he inherited from his parents when they died. Slowly she begins revealing her true form (metaphorically) , undeniably, Fuminori has no choice but to reconcile. She is his only support in this grotesque world. His anchor. At the same time, he is supporting her in fulfilling her true wish. His and Saya's bond evolves from being roommates to a romantic mere relationship.. Maybe, if Fuminori saw Saya's true appearance and continue to love her, I would consider it an even purer form of love. The story continues as the humanity within him leaves his body, transforming him into a carnivorous beast. He doesn't understand where fiction ends and reality begins, making him a significant threat. It is disgusting how child-like she is and how he finds it cute while having intercourse with her. (Ignoring the fact she's not a child, not a human or even from this dimension..) It was very messed up at the beginning, prior to any information coming to light. Fuminori is dedicated to shielding Saya from the outside world, and in return, Saya is equally committed to safeguarding Fuminori. Together, the duo kills one of Fuminori's old friends and makes an attempt on another's life while probing into his current life. They literally embodied a humanoid monster and a monstrous human.

Koji is probably my favorite character.. He was so normal when he faced down the truth about his girlfriend's death. It's insane.. He insisted on interfering in Fuminori's distorted reality too much. Becoming ensnared in matters that surpass his comprehension, leading to the ultimate sacrifice of his sanity in the name of uncovering the truth. His primary intention was to help Fuminori, but it was soon overshadowed by hatred and despair. All he demanded was vengeance. The danger they present to the people in their vicinity is significant, particularly Saya, whose power to alter the minds and bodies of humans is continuously growing. Though I feel compassion and sympathy for Fuminori, I fully support Koji's decision. It's the morally right choice. It’s also impressive how the reader can feel sympathy for Fuminori, despite his deplorable actions, it is truly remarkable. It was clear that Fuminori would inevitably lose his emotions and humanity :/ making it impossible for anyone else to save him except for himself. In the end (world's sanity), Saya began to approach Fuminori one last time, but Koji refused to allow it. This truly highlights the strength of their friendship. No matter what has transpired, all he desires is for Fuminori to return to normal.

(At this point, i'm kinda tired of writing so I'll just quickly add a few more short comments.)

Omi and Yoh were necessary for the plot, but the characters were annoying and pointless. Yoh came off as brainless and surface-level to me, just an empty-headed hot body. She has been put in a comatose by Saya, destroying her mind. Omi died quickly, nobody really noticed. Her boyfriend seemed indifferent. They probably thought she spontaneously chose to go somewhere without telling them?? It felt like she was a sacrifice. Then we have Ryoko, a doctor at the university Fuminori was treated. She's also Fuminori's physician. Her identity as his caring doctor is just an endearing act. Outside her job, she's actually a badass chick with a double barrel shotgun. She's so fucking cool, I love her. A middle-aged woman that has 2 options: either to save humanity from eternal exctinction and doom or to drink alcohol till the world starts to rot (World's sanity and Final ending). She is definitely not talked about enough..

Personally, the way in the Bloom ending, the most horrific event imaginable is reversed in appearance into something beautiful through a distortion of perception is probably the most creative approach to beauty I've ever read. It stands out as one of the most beautiful works of art i've witnessed. The World's Sanity ending tore my heart as well. Saya became a human. She embraced love and death, as her body suffered and ultimately gave in to demise. She wanted to be with Fuminori even in death. The music was absolutely amazing and beautiful. It served as the perfect finishing touch. The way the music combines with the imagery really creates this hopeless, oppressive sense of despair and heaviness.. Creating the perfect atmosphere, it truly transported me into Saya's world through the screen and my headphones

I'm definitely looking forward in hearing other people's thoughts and POVs!

[starry-blue-echoes]

Was wondering how Josuke's near-50 days of Stand Fever would be altered to fit the Beaststars AU; gonna be hard having him at a hospital since he'll have to shift at least once. (And that's assuming he's not in beastform 24/7 out of illness-induced stress.) And another thing: (and I totally stole this idea from Wolf Children) would human medicine have an adverse effect on someone who's occasionally a peacat?

w e l l

(I'll be honest I haven't thought too hard about this so all of this is going to be stuff I thought of right now this second)

Josuke would've been sick from roughly November 28th to January 16th, and between that stretch of time there was one full moon, being on December 22nd (since January's full moon wouldn't have been until the 21st)

of course, there is also what you mentioned about how Josuke might be stuck shifting back and forth with somewhat regularity because of the stress and main, and he might even be stuck in his beast form permanently throughout the illness

as such........ Tomoko kinda can't bring him to a hospital

or at least....... not a human one, anyways

now, this is COMPLETELY off the walls of an idea but also at the same time I've done crazier with shakier connection so like....... *makes the teen who saved Josuke a veterinary student*

I KNOW IT'S A STRETCH BUT LISTEN JOSUKE'S NOT GOTTEN A WHOLE LOT OF ATTENTION IN THIS AU SO MIGHT AS WELL

now, Tomoko is desperate. Her son is sick and can't switch back. She can't take him to a human hospital because he's not one right now, so her best (and only) bet is taking him to a veterinary clinic and praying they keep it secret

and the one who treats him is a young college student. There was a huge blizzard so he was the only one in the small, two person clinic at the time, because who in their right mind would be out right now but the owner didn't technically want to close up like this. Maybe he's an intern, maybe he's just gotten the job, but bottom line he's young and inexperienced and wasn't at ALL prepared for a woman to run inside with a bundle of blankets making sounds he can't believe he's hearing

he's never seen or even heard of anything like this. This small creature the size of a house cat that has both fur and feathers and is the brightest green and blue he's ever seen, that has the plumage of a peacock but the paws of a feline

the best word he can think to describe it is griffin, but even still it's not quite right. This animal isn't half something half other thing, it's one solid, beautiful, dying creature

but much to his dismay, there's....... not a lot he can do. He can't find the cause or diagnose the issues, hell he can't even prescribe her many medicines on account of not knowing enough about Josuke's biology. But he does what he can to keep his fever down and keep Josuke hidden

and it's thanks to his efforts Josuke lasts long enough for his fever to break

(and maybe there were some nights that Tomoko didn't notice, where fur and feathers gave way to flesh and hair in short bursts. Maybe the young man heard the faintest calls that sounded a bit too much like "mom" and "help" to be written off as coincidence.

he didn't say anything of course. But maybe some nights, when Tomoko was passed out in a chair, that this young man would comfort Josuke and through the haze of his fever make out a pompadour)

[flowery-king]

Hi, for your Defanged Philip au I noticed you wrote that Philip expels the palisman from his system. Since everyone agrees that the Owlbeast is an allegory for chronic illness does that mean that Philip expelling the palisman from his body is like an allegory for ridding your body of harmful substances via detoxing?

Yup! Absolutely so. I definitely see the palismen being some form of addiction, like yea we don't exactly canonically know how it helps, but there has to be a better way to keep a curse in check than to slaughter innocent lil wood critters. They definitely feel like the easy way out option

Now my interpretation of Philip's curse might be wayy different from others idea of it, but since Philip doesn't have a beast from what we've seen like Eda's constantly looming in his mind, I'm assuming the curse is a bit of not a LOT more different. So instead of being tied to another creature and being forced to co-exist like the owl beast, I think Philip's curse is more along the lines of zombification?? if that makes sense?

My idea is that the reason he is able to live this long is cause the curse just does not let him die. He will never find peace in death, which ultimately feels like the worst punishment ever in my book. And to add to the zombification term, he also has this constant need to consume. Is it magic? Maybe. Maybe he's more alike to the basilisks than he'd like to admit. At some point it might've just been an urge, but at this point it's almost painful to ignore it because he fed into it so much.

Also one of the reasons I'd like to believe Philip has sooo many relics in his castle is cause bro really searched far and wide for a way to deal with his curse before it got out of hand, but his curse was far too ancient for any healer to really understand or create a specific elixir that could help in any way. Dunno where Evelynn got that curse from but shit's hardcore and a real pain in the ass.

[skunkes]

nyalon is also a vampire?

also have u ever gone into detail abt how ur vampirism works? other than the "drinks blood" requirement there are so many variations

Only vaguely bc there's details i still wanna iron out and also talon himself is an outlier within my in world vampirism so i have to figure out what a healthy and powerful vampire wld look like...

For me its that vampires have 2 intake systems for blood, so that tooth-hole feeding can coexist with Drinking it, the former being what gives vampires their youth and function and the latter being more like food and energy... they also have a reservoir for blood in the stomach (or maybe that is the stomachs repurposed function...) where any excess can be stored....

if a vampire is unable to get any fang intake blood (like talon refuses to do for a good while as punishment) they visibly and physically age. The reservoir keeps them functioning until they can feed again, very slowly releasing just enough blood into the body to keep them at a very base level of energy + everything else (an average vampire's entire body, joints and the like would hurt tons without fang intake blood...like when ur head and stomach and such hurt when u havent slept/eaten/had water and u have limited energy due to it but also like your body is 3 seconds away from shutting down depending on how starved they are)

If a vampire runs out of this stomach stored blood, they will undergo a monsterous animalistic transformation. Im not sure if this will be #real yet but I think it would be fun if thats where the myth of werewolves would come from in universe. A vampire wld not remember the events that happened while in this state bc this it serves as a desperate final attempt to find sustenance. They are also very strong during this and sense of smell is greatly enhanced. Rly exhausting to the body. I think they could travel great distances to get to a source of (a good amount of) blood if needed but I'm also toying with like. Maybe if they stay in dis form long enough the overactive senses and strength die down but they kind of just stay as this beast forever... Idk! Could even be in insane punishment somehow....

They can and do have powers/abilities, probably inherited but I haven't figured out the specifics. Talon currently only has 2, though im not sure if the one of his abilities was dormant, if abilities can be further improved or trained, if he could access other abilities if he tried or was shown how to or if they're just impossible for him to learn bc his sire didnt possess them, etc. There's also a hierarchy in vampire society too of course... I also havent decided if they can eat stuff that isnt blood in any capacity....rn I feel bad Talon can't eat people food and I know very many people who would eat stuff even if it hurt them...atm vampires can't consume anything thicker than honey without it making them feel very ill, since they can only process (and remove waste products from the body via) liquids

I also havent figured out how sunlight would affect them....mostly bc i want so badly for talon to be able to lay in a sunbeam inside the home LOL but i qill figure it out. He can always just wear big hats outside....perhaps it takes a while for the sun to harm (instead of instantly becoming aflame upon stepping outside)