#maybe ill get into it more one day but for now take this

[nightunite]

r.e. with johnny banging one of his maids

what's the breaking point or final straw that makes the maid finally snap and make the decision to leave soap? or, maybe even the point just before the decision is made?

-- 📖

Omg my first anon who signs their name! Welcome! Enjoy this angsty piece! Following the revelation that she is not the only one Johnny sees in the duchy, she does her best to limit her time with him. The thought of him touching her makes her skin crawl, makes her stomach curdle over the memory of him holding the other maid so tightly to him (the way he held her, how many more are there-). However, she also knows she cannot avoid him entirely, cannot retreat fully as he is still her employer, a fact seared into the forefront of her mind now when it should have been when this all started. She tries not to show her discomfort when he leans into her space, as she can now smell the perfumes of other women on his skin, can see his plump mouth most likely having kissed another before coming to her. She wonders if he even bothered to wash himself between, or if the hands he touches her with are still coated in the consequences of his actions. There's no comfort in his concern over her, him spending more and more time as the days go by to coax her into telling him what's the matter, is someone bothering her? He'll make it all go away for his sweet little maid, his favorite. He winks as he says their inside joke; bile creeps up her throat at the knowledge the joke is on her and always has been. She just manages to kiss him, brushing off anything further with a variety of excuses: She isn't feeling well, there is so much she has to do, a guest is due shortly. She even uses the tried and true 'I am unclean' excuse, face flushed as she looks down, desperate for him to believe it even though the stress of the situation she has found herself in has put it off for the forseeable future. Every time she feels her heart lurch over the sight of him, her stomach lurches as well. It's a struggle for her to keep food down, constantly envisioning the man she loves with other women. The knowledge he would have to wed someone of his station had always loomed over her, the thought of him forsaking his reputation due to being in love with her a fantasy she only indulges in when she lays down for bed. These days the thought brings more cruelty than comfort, and it's resulted in her stumbling from bed to heave up the meager portion of dinner that she manages to eat. The other staff notice how there seems to be an air of illness about her, her face paler than before, eyes red-rimmed at times, the dazed look she gets when she thinks no one is watching. The cooks especially take note of it, see how she struggles to keep food down, how she picks at her plate unless it's the blandest of soup or a portion of fruit. The head cook, a stern woman who runs the kitchen efficiently and while putting the fear of God into those who test her, has rubbed her back alongside the head maid more times than not when she hangs her head in the toilet. "I swear lass, you heave more than an expecting mother. Duke MacTavish ought to call in the doctor and have you seen to already, before you waste away!" If her eyes weren't blinded by tears, they would be wide open in horror. The vomiting, the missed days, the sleeping... All caused by stress yes but... Is there anything more stressful than carrying a new life inside of you? Particularly one born of such circumstances? Her breathing picks up, the last of the bile coughed out while her mind races, the thought growing more and more sure as she thinks back to the days when she and Johnny had gone further than they ever should have. The best case scenario is people assuming she is a loose woman; a random unnamed man being the father and her child being a bastard. The possibility to spin it as her being taken advantage of by a man who was passing through town is there, not likely to work but still an option. The worst case though? The scandal of bearing a Duke's bastard, of having lain in her employer's bed? All of them would be ruined.

The head maid sends her to bed to ensure she doesn't get anyone else sick with whatever she has. She lays in her bed, hand shakily pressed over her stomach, watery eyes fixed on the ceiling while she bites her lip to keep from sobbing. She has to get out, even if there is no child inside her. Things have crossed a line and she's clawing at it to let her back on the other side. This was doomed from the start, and this needs to end before this becomes a choice she can't take back. There has been recent gossip of the Baron of the woods returning, of him needing new staff due to several of his retiring from age. No connections to Duke MacTavish, a place out of the eyes of society, a man who does not partake in the prodding of other's status. It appears she will need to find a way to visit the Baron's home discretely. Soon.

[avelera]

Something something… through Viktor’s actions we see his possible linear mental checklist of his goals in life, and those goals included eventually confessing his feelings to Jayce, but before he did he felt he needed to do other things first. Namely:

1) Make Hextech a reality - Check. Viktor and Jayce actually achieved this one by 1.04. They could continue to refine forever but you can tell they both felt a sense of accomplishment in this.

2) Give Hextech to the people - Incomplete. At the end of S1 they had the refined Hextech crystals but the full benefits of their work had not reached the masses. Nor would it/should it ever.

3) Help the Undercity - incomplete, arguably completely unaddressed or even undermined by their work. The Hexgates drew Piltover’s attention away from the Undercity, which is why it languished while Piltover looked to distant markets. Hextech materially made life worse for the Undercity, as the alternate timeline showed us.

4) Hextech innovations lead to a cure for Viktor’s disease and disability - Successful but in the most horrifying way possible, including a body count.

5) Profit - Confess his feelings to Jayce.

(Don’t get too hung up on the order here because obviously a lot of these things could happen concurrently and I don’t think Viktor is stupid he would know that Hextech innovation could take a lifetime and probably wouldn’t wait to confess to Jayce just for that endlessly moving finish line.)

BUT, joking aide, I truly DO think that Viktor is kind and empathetic at his core and he really didn’t plan to confess his feelings to Jayce until he found a cure for his disease, which would require a lot of Hextech innovation to have any hope of reaching. Literally it would take a miracle.

I think Viktor’s belief in his own inadequacy could have festered in the painful doldrums of his own rapidly advancing illness after the initial glow of making the Hexgates happen.

Any hope of finding a cure was always remote, but as his illness advanced, this is when he may have even begun to push Jayce away, knowing the inevitable was coming. He certainly wouldn’t confess feelings to someone he loved with his days so numbered.

And that’s where I think a thread of actual resentment towards Mel might have crept in. To be fair, I don’t think Viktor hated her as a person, as such, nor was he a swooning teenager wracked by petty jealousy. But I think it must have stung to have his days so numbered and have this woman who represented everything he couldn’t offer to Jayce: health, wealth, beauty, position, prestige, etc distracting his attention away during what might be Viktor’s final days.

The thing is, I think rationally Viktor didn’t say anything because again, his days were numbered and Jayce and Mel were happy and well suited and beautiful and perfect together. He had nothing to offer. And it would be cruel to drag Jayce back just so Jayce would have to mourn him even more. Then as a result, Viktor was even more consumed by trying to save his own life by a miracle, though he now had to do it more alone than he ever predicted he would have to.

But there’s that horrible catch 22. He can’t tell Jayce how he feels because he might fail and die anyway and that would be cruel to someone he loves. But if he doesn’t tell Jayce, Jayce won’t come back to his side to help him out with the research needed to maybe save it.

Then Sky dies to the Hexcore and Viktor realizes just how much he’d lost of the parts of himself he liked, the parts that cared about helping others as PART of the cure for himself, and truly just gave up on any of it. He made his peace, decided to support Jayce during the emancipation of Zaun as a sort of ambassador, and resigned himself to the fact this would be the end for him.

Well, we know what happened next. Jayce saved his life, against Viktor’s wishes, using Viktor’s now-hates innovation.

Ok so now for the part that I was trying to get to:

A newly healed Viktor now has to reevaluate his life’s work checklist. It’s a much shorter list now.

1) Save his own life - check.

2) Figure out a way to make the world a better place - check.

3) Confess to Jayce now that you’re proud of who you are both inside and outside. You are finally worthy of him. You will finally live long enough that confessing isn’t an act of cruelty. You finally have achievements that make you worthy to proposition the creator of Hextech and the man you love, who is as far as you know, currently dating the physical embodiment of perfection.

And that explains Viktor’s catwalk into the Council Chamber in 2.08. He’s decked out in Mel’s colors. He’s ready to compete. He’s perfect now. He’s found a way to save humanity from itself. He is now worthy of Jayce and in a place where he can actually offer a lifetime together.

And Jayce rejects him.

This stuns Viktor. Actually, it fully knocks him into a villain arc, because Jayce has never refused him anything before. And Viktor can’t comprehend why his checklist didn’t work. Why did becoming perfect not work?

Because Jayce didn’t need the checklist. He’d already broken up with Mel. He didn’t need Viktor to be healed or to have already saved the world or to be anything else but Jayce’s partner. Jayce would have been happier if Viktor proposed at Step 0, but Viktor thought that would be a cruelty if he didn’t have a cure yet.

But I truly think Jayce would have preferred even just a day as Viktor’s official partner if that was all they got over a decade of being held at arm’s length until “everything was perfect”.

And that’s what Viktor doesn’t understand.

And that’s what Jayce had to show him in that final act of love.

[animeomegas]

blowing some boys' back out please x3 your choice of 'em

that's 2 imprecise help neji gaara, sasuke, and minato? :3 bonus if the alpha is big in size. I'll be 🍷 anon if not already taken ! mwah

(Hey, welcome 🍷 anon! Let's see~)

N-sfw under cut

Let's set the scene!

It was a rough night last night, enthusiastic, hot, and very heavy.

And some soreness is totally normal after nights like this, especially when you consider your... greater than average size *cough*

But when your omega gets up the next morning, it's clear that the soreness is more than normal.

He's waddling around the house, holding himself gingerly, still kind of dazed from last night.

He probably has some emerging bruises in sensitive places, a few pulled muscles, too.

Maybe you were a little too enthusiastic ����

But how does he react?

Neji

He is deeply unimpressed by you.

He's sending you dirty looks, blaming you for his current condition and conveniently forgetting how much he was begging for it to be harder last night.

"How am I supposed to go shopping like this? 😠"

You better be pampering him to say sorry.

He's going to settle down on the couch and you'll be doing all the chores and massaging the sore parts of his body.

Bring him snacks and butter him up with lots of lovey dovey apologies and he'll forgive you.

And then ask for that kind of sex again the next week smh.

Gaara

Concerned boy is concerned :(

Rough sex is extremely out of character for him, and so something must have triggered it. Perhaps extremely heightened emotions?

I'm not sure, but he's regretting it so much :(

He knew rough sex was a bad idea. He kind of feels bad about the whole thing.

For a shinobi, his pain tolerance is pretty low, but he still has to get to work because he has a village to run...

He keeps his composure remarkably well at work, but he goes home early and he expects lots of cuddles and kisses and gentle affection.

It's one of the only sex things that he won't overshare with his siblings because he's genuinely embarrassed by injuries that occurred from his perceived lack of control. He feels like he should know better.

Give him lots of love, okay?

Sasuke

He is SOOOOO embarrassed.

And he's pissed at you. But he won't say that because he's too busy pretending that nothing is wrong.

This lasts for all of 5 minutes before he realises that pretending he's fine means leaving the house like this, and he'd rather DIE.

So, the man who would try to train or take a mission while literally delirious with illness, actually takes a day off and hides in bed.

A bed that he kicks you out of by the way.

(but you can probably sneak back in with some well placed nuzzles)

What is he even so embarrassed about?

People knowing he has sex? Kinda, yes.

How fucking ridiculous he looks waddling around? Absolutely.

Not being strong enough to physically take his alpha without injury? Yes...

DO NOT tease him!

Just apologise once and then make him breakfast and don't bring it up ever again 😅

Minato

He's a bit sheepish about the situation, because he remembers begging for it to be harder, and he should have known better.

Oh well! Now he knows better, and well, it was pretty hot.

He gets a bit turned on thinking about it, which probably hurts, so that train of thought dies quickly.

He will probably tease you about being so big and rough lol

To be honest though, he's totally fine, and he'll say "you don't have to do that" everytime you try to apologise or make it up to him.

He would appreciate you running him a bath and making him some food though, just to show him that you love him.

Let's just hope that he's not teaching that day 🙏🏻 Because he is not as subtle as he thinks.

Or working as Hokage... Because his guard definitely know how he spent yesterday evening 😏

[goddessofroyalty]

hello! the fanart of Viktor with a baby you reblogged this week got me right in the soft feels u.u would you consider revisiting the Work/Life Balance 'verse? (random ideas: pregnant Viktor dealing with a minor illness (very minor, not a complication, no real threat to his health and no threat whatsoever to the baby, but Jayce is still fussing over them)? how a newborn affects Viktor's already hectic work/sleep schedule? either Viktor can't or chooses not to nurse and good papa Jayce does his part with formula and bottles?)

Kind of combined the second two parts of this into what I’ve written but more leaning on good papa Jayce helping feed their baby. Maybe I’ll figure out a quick 4th scene (to even out the POV’s) that focuses a bit more on Viktor’s messy sleeping schedule. Have also made a note of the first prompt as well to do separately.

I’ve given up and am naming this kid Naph as well. Why? Because it’s a nice easy name for me to kidnap and gods knows Arcane played fast and loose with League lore anyway. Also I like it and it has become the default in my brain if nothing else fills the space. It can be easily subbed out if I decide on something different later.

Warnings: past-mpreg, omegaverse (I refer to the baby as pup that’s literally it), some mention of after-birth pains (nothing major just a bit tender)

------------------

Viktor wakes to the sound of a baby crying.

“I’ve got him, don’t get up,” Jayce says as the sleep fades from Viktor’s brain and he remembers that it is their baby that is crying not just some random abstract one. Their baby that Viktor had given birth to days prior and had finally been allowed back home that day. The doctors happy with both their progress.

The bed shifts as Jayce gets up to go to their child. Viktor pushes himself up on his arms to sit up more as he does. Wincing as his weight settles on where he’s still tender from the birth.

“I told you not to get up,” Jayce says holding their son in his arms as he looks back at Viktor. It is a good image and one Viktor could get used to seeing. Will get used to seeing, as surreal as that feels.

“And I have not gotten out of bed.” Nor will he be. Not when he has a perfectly good and willing Jayce to get things for him while he still heals from the birth. To make up for you having done all the work to this point Jayce had said and Viktor had nothing to gain from fighting him on it. “What’s the time?”

“2AM. And you can go back to sleep,” Jayce says. “He just needs a bottle.”

“I’m awake now.” Viktor had never been able to go back to sleep once he woke. There always something he’d rather be spending the time doing than tossing and turning. “I can hold him while you heat up the bottle.”

“The doctors said you need rest,” Jayce says despite it being clear he needs both hands to keep their son settled which would leave none free to prepare a bottle as well.

“I am resting!” Despite how much he misses it he still hasn’t returned to the lab since he was put on bedrest in the final trimester. Working on formulas and schematics from bed can hardly be considered work. It’s just keeping his mind occupied. “Let me hold him.”

Jayce clearly wants to argue but he relents when Viktor raises an eyebrow. Carefully handing their son over and only taking his hands away once the baby is very secure and settled.

Viktor would almost be offended at the lack of trust but he all-too-well understands the impulse. It turns out newborns are tiny and so delicate. It is almost terrifying to think about all the different ways they could accidently hurt him. It is scary to even have him in Viktor’s arms but also nerve-wracking when he is not within easy reach.

“I’ll be right back,” Jayce promises, only taking his eyes off them when he physically leaves the room.

Viktor once again examines his son while he waits. He had hoped their child would have taken a little more after both of them rather than looking mostly like Viktor but it is still impressive to think mere days ago Naph was still growing inside him and now the boy is alive and experiencing the world, frowning up at Viktor as his tongue peaks out between tiny lips, followed by a small cry of impatience.

“Not much longer,” Viktor promises. If his milk had come in the wait wouldn’t have to be this long. But it is useful to know that Jayce can look after their son entirely on his own if needed.

Naph is still far too young to actually understand what Viktor is saying. Another louder cry being made as Jayce hurries back into the room.

“No, no, don’t cry, I got it,” Jayce rambles, sliding into bed beside Viktor, warm bottle in hand. He pauses when Viktor holds their child back out to him. “Uh-“

“You said you were feeding him, no?” Viktor has no problems with doing it as well but Jayce likes to feel useful. And Viktor likes to watch him with their son.

“Right, of course,” Jayce recovers quickly. Carefully taking their son back into his arms, offering him the bottle. It only takes two passes of the teat for the tiny mouth to open to let it pass.

“He is hungry,” Jayce says as their son makes quick work of the bottle.

“I suppose it was a big day for him.” For Viktor and Jayce they came home but all their son knew until the day before was the hospital.

“It was,” Jayce agrees, shifting slightly to allow Viktor to lean in closer and push the fabric from their son’s onesie down from where it had crept up to his mouth. “But we can all rest for now.”

Viktor gives a hum of agreement despite how he already itches to get back to the lab.

-------------------

Jayce wakes to find himself alone in the bed.

It isn’t that unusual. Neither he nor Viktor can be said to have a normal sleeping schedule even before their pup was born. But Jayce still never likes it when he reaches out for his partner only to find cold bedsheets.

He pulls himself out of bed and shuffles to the main living area. There’s no point trying to get back to sleep anyway and he might as well check on Naph to make sure he hasn’t woken in the night.

Viktor had apparently had the same thought whenever he had gotten up. He stands in front of the blackboard they had set up so they can make any changes to their equations even when not in the lab, a piece of chalk balanced in the fingers of the hand resting on his cane as the other holds their son steady where he is swaddled against Viktor’s chest. A slight bounce with every move clearly to keep the pup settled.

“I put coffee on,” Viktor says, not even turning around to acknowledge Jayce. Not that Jayce wants him to – he’s perfectly happy just watching his partner and their child together.

“Thanks.” There’s an almost empty baby bottle next to the coffeepot. It’s cold to the touch so Jayce rinses it out in the sink and puts it to the side to be sanitized with the others. He makes Viktor a cup of coffee as well as his own. “Couldn’t get him to go back to sleep?”

“He doesn’t want to be put down,” Viktor says, looking away from their life’s work to their son. “Clingy. Like his father.”

Jayce can hardly blame his son for that – he wants to cling to Viktor too at times.

“I can take him if you need to write,” Jayce says as he brings Viktor’s coffee over to him. Tapping his partner on the arm with it before placing it down on the table they keep next to the blackboard almost exclusively for coffee. He picks up the old empty one and takes it back to the sink.

“It is fine,” Viktor says with a small shake of his head, his eyes flitting back to the blackboard. “I have nothing new to add to it anyway.”

Jayce would suggest Viktor go back to bed then but he knows his partner would have as much a chance of going back to sleep as he would.

Instead he joins Viktor at the blackboard. Close enough that Viktor can shuffle over and lean against him while they both try and figures out how the equations fit together and wait for the morning sun.

------------------

“Jayce!” Viktor calls because he is in the middle of wiring up the controls for the latest iteration of Hexgates and their son is crying. Jayce is just doing some paperwork, necessary, yes, but nowhere near as dangerous to be walked away from in the middle of.

“Huh?” Jayce asks as he sticks his head into the room before realizing why he was called. “Right. On it.”

“Up we go,” Jayce says as he picks their son up from the cot they keep in the lab for him to sleep in while they work. Out of the corner of his eye Viktor watches his partner hold their son high to sniff at his backside. “Nope. Must be hungry.”

Viktor returns his attention back fully to his work as Jayce carries their son into the kitchenette of the lab to heat up a bottle for him. He’s still at it when he two return, their son still in Jayce’s arms as he comes to watch over Viktor’s shoulder.

“How are you going?”

“Nearly finished.” The wiring had nearly taken him all day but it should be worth it.

“And then we can test it?” Jayce asks despite the fact he should already know the answer.

“Yes. They should lead to a less, uh, jolty experience when the jump is made.”

Jayce doesn’t respond, but Viktor can hear him pace around the lab no doubt bouncing their child in his arms as he does to keep the boy settled and not distracting Viktor’s work.

Viktor doesn’t alert his partner to the fact once he finishes. Instead watching the two of them for the minute it takes Jayce to notice himself. He had been told by many how lucky he was to have Jayce as the father of his child and, really, he cannot argue it.

[sticcmann]

i compiled my season 2 thoughts

its just not that good! its really not that good! Compared to season 1 of arcane, it really is a downgrade, which is such a shame. It's too much crammed into one and I have some other points.

In no particular order, first I'd like to talk about the recontextualization of the relationships between Silco, Jinx, Vi and Vander. The Felicia bits were UNNEEDED!!! Silco adopting Jinx because he projected onto her and Vander adopting those kids because he realized his failures was so beautiful. The fact that Vander and Silco were their godfathers already does a great disservice to Claggor and Mylo.

The letter doesn’t make sense at all either. The way Vander says “there’s worse things than enforcers out there” does not say “yeah I kind of want that guy back” (+ Benzo being mad at Silco too) and so the good timeline au also doesn’t make sense. The two concepts of “oo yeah this guy is bad I don’t want to associate with him anymore” and “oo yeah what I did to this guy is bad” can coexist in Vander’s head seeing as he says that he can’t forgive himself for drowning Silco. Maybe I’m just reading too into it and Vander is alarmed about Silco because he’s hearing rumours of his uprising or something. The whole woman died I’m angry and this is our big drama thing is just not a good explanation still.

Second, the sidelining of the oppression storyline. That was easily the most compelling theme for me in season 1, and the fact that it’s resolved by a banding together to defeat the real enemy plot is lazy and frankly disappointing. I’m sure others can give a better take on this with more problems but I’m not qualified enough.

Third. Jinx’s self sacrifice. Jinx was such a good representation of mental illness, and it pained me to see her go. The arc leading to her death does not make sense! Was Isha’s death for nothing? Jinx learning to appreciate life and healing from her trauma only for her to never get the satisfying conclusion of a happy life is cruel. My personal opinion is that she was written off to eliminate problems for Caitvi.

Lastly, did not like how Ekko saved the day with the saving the day machine. Cheap.

Now for some personal takes which you can ignore:

Viktor’s new design sucks and they should have given him cybernetic shit for more robot. I like the cyborg mage a lot. Also he didn’t get to be evil long enough.

Warwicks design also sucks and they should give him the wolf head but I hear rumours they will so I won’t dwell on it.

Not enough dictator Caitlyn! She got redeemed too easily. Also caitvi happened too fast frfr like dude they had domestic violence? And gas? And the almost killing a child thing? And the jinx imprisonment thing? Jinx was literally about to end it all and these two are going at it in jail.

Ambessa is a weak villain. That’s it

Tl dr

Silco Vander and Felicia bits are not great

Sidelined oppression

Sidelined Jinx’s arc

Time Machine deus ex machina is not great

Viktor and Warwick look like ass but that’s just my opinion

Bad caitvi resolution

Ambessa is not interesting

Now I can only hope that they don’t mess up on the Noxus spin-off, because I’m really looking forward to that! Mel interacting with the hardened politicians of that region would be so interesting to see. Swain is one of my major favourites and I wonder what they’ll do with him.

[3liza]

here's one reason i dont think this is applicable to normal grammar errors like wary/weary and using idioms wrong: whenever i hear a youtuber do this and then take the time to scroll through the comments, no one else is commenting about it. if i leave a comment about it, im the only one. in the notes the example of mispronouncing a pokemon is given, and i think that's way more likely to be done on purpose. but just being bad at speaking generally doesnt actually seem to generate engagement

ive started leaving comments for youtubers whose videos i click out of IF they seem like basically good people who are actually interested in making videos that arent garbage. ill be like "hey sorry im clicking out now, you obviously spent a lot of time on this and i appreciate it but 5:13-10:45 is just completely debunked misinformation, you need to de-ess your audio because it's painful, and the author your cited is a actually an antisemitic conspiracy theorist [citation]. will be checkin your vids out in the future though, have a good one". the single comment "increases engagement" or whatever but i have all notifications off on youtube on my viewing account so i can just throw grenades and run, i never get into arguments. if they're interested in improving their material then fine, maybe my comment will be useful, if they aren't then whatever.

watch hours seem to be the primary metric for youtube channel success and determines when you get monetized in the first place. so clicking out immediately when you're getting pissed off is the best way to "vote with your dollars" or whatever.

idk. maybe none of this shit matters. certainly big accounts wont pay any attention to you, but the smaller ones often will. i recently followed a small lets player who was using AI thumbnails for all his uploads and it genuinely was so confusing because every thumbnail looked the same and didn't show the actual game, often inventing monsters and scenes that weren't in the game at all. and i left a kind, patient comment about how this was uncool, and two days later the next thumbnail i saw from him was an actual screenshot. after a couple refreshes it switched to a third thumbnail that was AI again but showed the correct "type" of monster for the subject of the game, rather than a Krampus, which the AI thumbnail i saw first had initially shown. so he's at least A/B testing AI vs normal thumbnails. i clicked on the screenshot thumbnail because youtube creators get feedback about the A/B results on videos uploaded with multiple thumbnails.

@3liza Thoughts? I think it's bullshit but I wouldn't put it past some of the worst Youtube Grammar offenders.

[sushisocks]

I would love to hear your angsty macsummers headcanons 👀

YEEEAHHHHHH let's get INTO IIITTTT!!! I wanna say these sort of -- build up a little, maybe :3c I hope you like them!!!

Lenny isn't really one to talk about his feelings - he might have the words, but he still doesn't really know how to, when it comes to the more negative and deep-seated stuff. King of intellectualizing his emotions fr.

The only person who ever really gets him is Sean, who wears his heart on his sleeve.

It's not even that Sean tries very hard to understand Lenny; but he has the ability to get straight to the point where Lenny flounders or gets avoidant.

Similarly, when Sean starts blustering and distancing himself from the truly vulnerable parts of himself, Lenny can see right through it.

What really first drew Lenny to Sean was his openness about his father; the common ground of having lost theirs in such violent ways. It's the first time Lenny tells anyone what he did in retaliation, and how he did it - Sean responds in neither horror nor pity, but with a sense of vicarious satisfaction and maybe just a little jealousy. They share a drink in quiet celebration of the karmic retribution delivered by Lenny's hands, and it's the least complicated anything has been for him in a long time.

Sean's story feels heavy with unfinished business, in comparison; turns sweet liquor sour to hear of a man shot in his bed. Lenny indulges him, lets him talk about his father at length, and feels his own sting of jealousy at how close it seems they were - reminded of his own father's words in the letter he still has from him. He's not sure he ever fully understood the 'more tutor than father' line before meeting Sean.

Nightmares; when Sean isn't blacked out to the world from either drink or exhaustion, he has them. Usually he dreams of waking up to his father's dead body, though that has certainly morphed over the years through the death and injury he's witnessed since. It's not uncommon for him to dream about Lenny being dead, now, and waking up panting and panicked just to see Lenny next to him - Sean usually curls right up against him before trying to get some more sleep.

Conversely, Lenny only has nightmares after experiencing something really bad - Sean usually is woken up by Lenny though, and is there to comfort him after.

When Sean returns from the bounty hunters, he spends the first night drinking, partying, and partially avoiding Lenny. He's overly successful as Lenny is gone for the next couple days with Micah, and then gets taken out to drink with Arthur.

By the time Lenny DOES approach Sean and asks to talk, Sean is on the verge of exploding. He doesn't WANT to talk about it, he wants to move on with his life, but he has been anticipating Lenny's question and barely needs to be prodded before he's spilling his guts out.

He tells Lenny about the haze of pain and confusion, about how he had no idea how much time passed prior to getting out - it could've been days or months as far as he was aware. Sean isn't really sure what all they did for the duration he was there - he just knows he was in pain for the most of it, when he wasn't unconscious, and that the burning and pulling was among the easier things to bear.

Lenny asks Sean if he's thinking of leaving, after all that. Sean says no, and Lenny has no idea why he's vaguely disappointed. They both know something is left unsaid there, but neither can bring themselves to push it or bring it up again.

Lenny does still notice how unsteady Sean is on his feet in the time after, at Horseshoe; he does his best to make sure Sean has somewhere to sit down nearby, if he needs it. He also notices how Sean's struggling to eat, and speaks to Pearson about cutting everything in the stew into smaller pieces for a while - he also makes sure there's softer snacks for Sean in the meantime.

When Sean dies, Lenny shuts down in what ways he can. He has never figured out how to handle grief without vengeance, without anger, and when there is no revenge left to take, he has no idea how to handle it. So he just gets quiet.

He was the same when Jenny died, but with Sean it's worse - Lenny becomes a lot more withdrawn, to the point that people notice.

Several of his friends in the gang try to check up on him, but Lenny brushes them off - doesn't want to talk about it. He keeps up with the day-to-day because he doesn't know what else to do, a sort of distant dissociation carrying him through it.

When he has a moment of quiet, he doesn't even know how to identify what he's feeling, he just feels-- empty.

Where before he was foolhardy now he's reckless - borderline careless - with himself. It's not that he wants to die but the rush of adrenaline is one of the purest feelings he has left, not waterlogged by the reminder of his person not being there anymore.

It doesn't help, in the long run - remembering just hits harder once the thrill fades.

[quirkle2]

no matter how hard i tried i couldn't get this piece to work w full color and lighting so ur just gettin this instead </3 reigen's somewhere off-camera with his head in his hands wondering who FUCKING hurt his kids

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[ratatatastic]

do you write fic on ao3?

unfortunately for everyone involved i do!

[triglycercule]

UGH i wrote another stupid small thing 4 swapinverse.... idk whats wrong with me why am i writing so much swapinverse stuff when i havent even finished it. anyways swapinverse killer here take this (this one is much vaguer bc it takes place before a lot of the more like obvious events happen??? idk only i understand what i'm talking about here)

-

open eyes. greeting by the dark ceiling again. get dressed. typical routine for him… nothing new. nothing interesting. papyrus will knock on the door soon. he should probably prepare for that. no need to stay in bed. that won't do anything anyways. he’ll still feel nothing. like normal, he knocks after the jacket is put on. and he opens that door, to be greeted with the enthusiastic, smiling face of his brother.

sans smiles. obviously, he has to. otherwise paps will get worried, and he doesn't wanna have to deal with a worried paps. it just makes things worse for everyone. they walk through the forest, paps leads him to the guard station, and he sits. same as usual… the exact same. the same routine, nothing new. nothing new. the same. it's all the same.

sans had long since gotten tired of this monotony. soon, chara would come out of that door. he’d introduce himself to them, and they’d play that short game of pretend where they pretended not to know each other. like they always did. chara mentioned something about it being scripted or something, but sans couldn't be bothered to care. besides, the human always mumbled random stuff like that. it meant nothing. nothing new. they’d kill the rest of the underground, he’d fight them because he has nothing better to do, and die.

although they did mention that deal they’d been talking about? what was that? join them? yeah, no. he wasn't gonna do that. no matter how many resets passed.

oh. here they come. better get on track. or onto script, like chara says. for some reason, they say that. the saying gets stuck a bit in sans’s head. just a bit though, since it’s a new thought. and they turn, and sans shakes hands with chara.

he’s long since ditched the whoopee cushion. despite them still doing what was practically a ritual at this point, that was the only change that ever happened. nice that he chose for the newness, but it didn't change much. but… something was off. something was wrong. and sans could feel it. he could feel it. and that was what was wrong.

it wasn't with the way chara smiled, or their posture, or how their hand was outstretched. not the strange, expectant excitement in their red eyes, although that was a bit new. it wasn't even all of the dust covering them, certainly from the ruins. no, the issue was from sans himself. he could feel something wrong. like some sort of internal dread? no, something worse… an ache? he’d gotten used to all the one’s he normally felt, so what was it?

once the human’s hand left his and walked through the gate, he knew what it was. something… that something he could feel. that something that passed through the barrier of apathy he’d built all this time. an itch? sans scratched at his head, just idly. physical or not, he didn't know. he had to figure it out. and so, he followed after the human.

after a while of watching them, chara, do their… usual business, sans had came to a conclusion. it was both. and also, neither. the itch was something that he could feel, but not physically. so it was a mental itch. and that itch managed to effect him so badly he felt it on his bones. strange. and for some reason, as he watched chara slaughter one after another, kill and murder another one of his kin, sans couldn't wrench his eye lights away from the sight. for some reason, he couldn't stop watching as chara singly handledly destroyed his species. for some reason, he followed.

"it's not that bad, anyways. just… morbid curiosity. it wouldn't hurt to just… scratch that itch a bit. nothing will come of it."

and sans made sure to say that one out loud, just to convince himself.

-

oooh pal buddy you do not know what you are in for!!!! you are about to experience terrible suffering at your own hands!!!! sucks to suck lmao at least your chara is just as confused as you are during the process haha! i love swapinverse this is so fun i keep on saying that but i really should write more

[risingsunresistance]

damn i kinda dont like it here anymore

[littol-bun]

i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.

like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?

but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!

i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡⁠ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾

ouggghh im not little anymore but (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:

like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.

but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 i got ya lil sis

[crows-of-buckets]

Sometimes all of my ocs decide they wanna do laps in my head all at the same time so I just end up sitting there like "I want to draw tyrian and Daeran, and Aviae and Morrigan, and Lucio and Anders, and Selene and Sera, and my other Hawkes and my other warden and-" and then none of it happens

[lilgynt]

my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her

[doublekanble]

ghost in your home was not supposed to end like that at all lol, wrestled with the idea of letting him have his cake and eat it too or shove it in his face a bit more and ended up with just letting him be