#maybe if i post about it enough i'll feel obligated to

[wittymumbledon]

you want a good omens art WIP? have a good omens art WIP.

[queers-gambit]

Opening Night and Open Hearts

prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

word count: 9.8k+

note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace

warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!

⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers

not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

God's Plan part two: Two to Tango

Neon Sticky Notes

"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"

"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.

"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"

"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"

"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."

You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"

"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."

"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"

"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"

"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."

You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."

This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."

"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."

"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."

"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."

Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"

"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."

He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."

"But isn't that what Pete's for?"

"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."

Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."

"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."

Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.

"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"

"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.

"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.

"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."

"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.

"Hey, Richie."

"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"

"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"

"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."

"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,

"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."

"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"

"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."

"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.

Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!

Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.

"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."

"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"

"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."

"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.

You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."

Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"

"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."

Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."

"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"

"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."

"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.

"On it," he winked, parting from your side.

Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"

"Yo."

"Peach is on 17 with Pete."

"Okay."

"Go say hi."

"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.

"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.

"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.

"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."

"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."

"What? I'm saying - "

"I'll get there when I can get there!"

"I'm saying!"

"What?" Carmy barked.

"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"

"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"

"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.

You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.

"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"

He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.

"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."

"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.

"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."

"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.

"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.

"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."

"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."

"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"

You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."

"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.

He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."

"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"

"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.

"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"

"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"

"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."

"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"

"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."

Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."

"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"

"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."

You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."

Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"

"Hmm? What're you - ?"

"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.

When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."

"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.

"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.

"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"

"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."

"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.

"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.

"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.

"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.

"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."

"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.

You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"

"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."

"Pete? What didn't you mean?"

"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."

"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"

"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."

"For what?"

"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.

You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."

"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."

"Take all the time you need," you agreed.

"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"

You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."

Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.

"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.

Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."

"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.

"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"

"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.

"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."

"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."

"What?"

"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."

"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"

"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "

"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.

"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.

"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.

"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."

"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."

But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.

When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.

"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."

You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.

Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.

Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."

You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."

"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"

You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"

You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."

"Peaches, hey, what's - "

But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."

"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"

"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"

"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.

"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."

"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"

"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.

"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.

"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "

You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.

"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."

You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.

The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.

"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.

"No time!"

"Wait! She went with her friend!"

Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"

"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"

"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."

"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."

"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "

"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.

"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.

"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.

"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"

"What?" Syd blinked in shock.

"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."

"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.

"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."

"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.

"How do you know?" Neil asked.

"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."

"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.

"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"

"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.

"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.

"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"

"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."

Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.

The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.

Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.

Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.

He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.

The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.

The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.

He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."

"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"

"Yeah? The only thing?"

"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "

"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "

"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."

"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?"

"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.

"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."

"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.

"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.

Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.

"Baby - "

"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."

He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.

"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."

"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."

"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."

"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."

"Peach - "

"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."

Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."

"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.

"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."

"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."

"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"

"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."

"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"

You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"

"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.

"Do you really think you're a psycho?"

He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."

You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"

"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."

"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."

"I don't deserve anymore time - "

"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."

He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."

"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."

"Anything, Peach."

"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."

He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."

"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."

With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.

The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.

"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."

"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."

Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"

"Of course, I do."

So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.

And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.

You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"

You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."

"And what did you do?"

You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."

"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."

"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"

"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."

You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"

He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."

"What changed?"

"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."

Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.

"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"

"Carmen."

He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.

With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"

"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."

"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"

He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."

"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."

"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"

You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."

You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.

"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.

There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.

"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"

You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.

"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"

"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.

"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."

"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."

"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."

"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.

"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.

"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"

"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.

"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"

"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.

"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"

"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

[nyxiswrites1200]

𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 💌

Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFT, MDNI, Cheating (remember cheating isn't cool guys <3), Drinking, Size kink, P in V, Nipple Play

Mentions: Lingerie, Failing marriage

An: Hey babes <3 welcome to the Valentine's collection. I'll be posting a series of spicy and romantic fics this week. I intend to make this a tradition of doing different characters each year.

----

You couldn't believe this! It was Valentine's day and your husband hasn't acknowledged it. He kissed you this morning before he left for work and that was it.

There's no way he forgot because you said it just yesterday, even agreed on plans. But, here it is, almost 7pm and he was still at work according to his text. You couldn't help but sigh as you sat alone in the apartment.

You can't say you didn't see this coming, your relationship has been a little rough. Mostly due to his absence but that's besides the point.

You brush down your carefully picked outfit you'd put on. Feels like it's going to waste now. You get up and step outside of your apartment, maybe you would just go do something on your own. Just for the sake of getting fresh air is what you tell yourself.

Then a stroke of luck, your apartment neighbor walks back from checking his mail. Toji and you were friendly. He was a single man and nice enough, plus you appreciated his honesty sometimes. He also likes the way you make cookies and jello shots, neither your husband appreciated.

"That color looks good on you" Toji chimes in as he notices you, that cocky smirk on his lips. You can't help but smile a little "Well, thanks Toji. I'm glad someone can appreciate it." You scoff, yeah, maybe you were a little bitter.

"Oh? Is he not home yet?" He asks, in reference to your husband "Oh it's worse! He's not here and he's barely acknowledged me all day. Would it kill him to at least send flowers or something?" You pout as you brush a hand over your hair.

Toji scoffed "What a piece of work" he smirks as he looks at you "Why don't you come in for a drink? I'd hate to let such a pretty thing waste away all night on a man who can't appreciate it" he suggested, and you were more than happy to oblige.

Toji let you in, his apartment was cleaner than you thought. He fixed you both a shot while giving you something to chase it with.

You sigh as you down the shot and sip on your chaser to soothe the burn.

Toji downs his shot with ease as he looks over at you "Oh come on, princess. Don't be down...you get to spend the evening with me" he smirks and you can't help but chuckle at how cocky he is. Although, he has every right to be.

Toji is huge, he's tall with muscles for days. He has a dominating aura, he was overwhelming. You liked it, maybe a little more than you should for someone who's married.

You haven't bothered to check your phone. Toji had you laughing, drinking, and forgetting about the shitty day you were having. His hand on your thigh as he rubbed it with his thumb. The simple action had you feeling a pulse in your panties.

"You know, I don't know why you don't have a date tonight" you chuckle "Oh? You think I'm that charming?" He teases "If not charming, then at least a girl would come home to get some action" you add softly.

Toji can't help but let out a deep chuckle "That's fair, princess. But I can't see why your loser husband would miss out on you".

"Why? Would you do different?" You smile as you lean in a bit closer to him. It was probably the alcohol making you this confident.

Toji smirked as he moved his hand to wrap around your waist. "Of course I would, princess. I wouldn't miss the chance to spend time with you...to kiss those pretty lips of yours...to push those pretty lacy panties aside" he says in a low tone, one that has you pressing your thighs together.

"Yeah?..." You respond breathlessly.

"I'm not gonna touch you, princess. I don't want you to hate me" he chuckles "I could never" you lean in close. "Are you drunk?" He asks "No, I promise" you say sternly.

Toji carefully cups your cheek with his strong and large hands. "Please, Toji..." You beg softly, looking up at him.

Toji groans "You're gonna get me in so much trouble, princess".

Toji leans in and kisses you gently, you don't hesitate to kiss him back. He moves his hands to your waist, his big hands practically covering your hips. You tangle your hands into his hair as you swipe your tongue along his bottom lip. Toji doesn't hesitate to let your tongue inside, he tastes the alcohol on your tongue and it's addicting.

He picks you up and pulls you into his lap, trying not to break the kiss. He sets you down, right against his cock. You moan into his mouth as you feel his cock press against you through your clothes.

Toji pulls away from the kiss, saliva connecting your lips.

"You're so pretty..." he rasps as his hands slide up under your shirt. You arch into his chest at the feeling of his hands on your skin.

"Thank you, Toji" you speak softly as you feel his hands undo your bra. "Of course, princess." He tossed your bra to the side as his hands cup your breasts, fondling them, and teasing your nipples.

"Mm- Toji~" you moan as he fondles you. "You've got such nice tits, princess. Your nipples get hard so easy...or is that because it's just me?" He teased with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, it feels so good" you moan as you begin to grind your hips into his hard cock. Between the bit of alcohol and lustful haze, you weren't really sure your words made any sense. You just know you wanted Toji to keep touching you.

Toji didn't waste much time, the next moments almost felt like a blur to you. His hands are prying off your clothing as you do the same to him. He lets out unrestrained moans and groans as he stuffs you full of his cock.

"Tojiii~ So...fuckin big" you moan as you're scratching into his back. He grunts in response "You feel so good, princess. You're man is really missing out..." He chuckles breathlessly "I'm so glad that the pretty lingerie you bought didn't go to waste~" he rasps, not missing the lacy set you were wearing when he tugged off your clothes.

It doesn't take long before Toji has you toppling over the edge. His hands leaving marks on your hips as he let you cum all over his cock. Sinful moans and lewd noises filling the room.

As much as he wanted to fill you up, leave his cum dripping out of you when you left to go back to your husband, he settled for pulling out and cumming on your stomach. You whine, you almost sounded disappointed.

Toji chuckled as he leaned in and kissed you "What is it, princess?". You kiss him back but slowly pull away as you look up at him. "You could have finished inside...I'm on the pill" you say softly "Well, I didn't know you wanted to prove such a point to your shitty husband" he chuckled.

You flipped yourself over on the couch, your tits pressing into the sofa with your ass up and soaked pussy on display. "You wanna do it again?" You ask sweetly, looking back at Toji. Toji groaned as he felt his cock immediately get hard again. "You're such a dirty little princess, aren't you?" He smirked.

His hand came up and rubbed along your folds before lightly slapping your pussy. You let out a whiny moan in response.

Toji doesn't hesitate to stuff you full of him again. His cock always hits the deepest and most sensitive parts of you, the ones that have you pulsing around his cock within minutes.

He holds your hands behind your back, his figure easily towering over you. It only takes one of his hands to keep both of yours pinned behind you. You can't help but moan out for him into the apartment, absolutely sure someone must hear this.

"You're so pretty like this...bent over, taking my cock, drooling into the cushions. Nobody has ever fucked you this good, hm?" He teased as he lightly slapped your ass, earning him another needy moan.

"No no, nobody has ever fucked me so good~" you stutter out as you press your hips back into Toji when he slaps your ass.

"Awe, poor thing. Don't worry, you can always come over when you need it" he says lowly, his voice having you tightening around his cock.

"Toji- I'm close" you whine out as you grind back into him. Toji moves his hands so they're both firmly holding your hips. He starts thrusting more roughly into you, pounding against your poor cervix.

The action leaving you a moaning and whiny mess beneath him as you babbled his name into the cushions. Then you practically screamed as you came- no, squirted on his cock. Toji relished the sight of you as he thrust into you a few more times before pressing right against your sweet spot and cumming inside you.

After a few beats, Toji slowly pulls out of you. He flips you over, dragging you into his chest as both of you try to catch your breath.

"Do you wanna take a shower?" He asks softly as he reaches over and cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. "The night is still kind of young, we could get some shitty takeout and have a few more drinks..." He rasps and you can't help but blush a little. "I'd like that..." You smile in return...

The following morning, you return to your apartment with little guilt or shame, considering the fact your husband didn't text you all night.

Maybe you should be looking into divorce papers, Toji seemed like he never wanted you to leave. Maybe he'd welcome you into moving in?

[hispg]

Between royalty and vows

Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.

In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.

Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.

Wouldn't it?

Wc:2.6k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, (I'll put more once things start to progress).

Prologue | 1 |

An:It took me a little longer to post, sorry! I'm in my week of college exams, the finals are approaching. I'm studying a lot, feeling very tired. Thanks for the sweet messages! I didn't expect to receive so much support! I appreciate it!💕💕💕

Chapter 1: Sunset

As soon as the sun rose, Leon was already awake, it's not as if he'd managed to sleep through the night in any case, he was too anxious for that. That morning you would arrive at the castle, and consequently start living here. It was a big step, certainly, but it was more than necessary, especially as the wedding approached.

He himself couldn't believe that he was getting married in the next few days, it had all happened so quickly that he hadn't even had time to think about it properly. Just like that, his life was turned upside down, a pang in his heart every time he thought about it. Every time he thought that he was being forced to marry a stranger, someone he didn't have a shred of affection for.

All these thoughts disappeared once there was a knock on his door, causing him to push down his sheets and start getting ready for the day.

"Your Highness, your father wants to speak to you." The familiar voice of his butler, Ausdret.

Leon lets out a tired sigh, only muttering a small, "I'll be there."

He knows what his father wants to talk to him about, to reinforce his duty once again, to remind him about the dynasty.

There was no escape, and that was all that was on his mind as he got ready. He took longer than necessary, on purpose, just not to leave his bedroom now.

After he'd finally finished, he went to look in the mirror, just to make sure he was properly dressed and polished, after all it was supposed to be a big day. But his eyes stopped wandering over his face, and hovered on a lipstick mark on the collar of his shirt, enough to bring a small smile to his face, eyes sparkling with the memory of his beloved, his only one.

Knowing he would have to hide it, he took one last look before tucking the collar back into place. Making sure no one else could see.

As soon as he left his room, his butler was waiting for him outside, making several attempts at small talk, which Leon wasn't interested in, though. His mind was far away, as if he had never been here in the first place.

Once he arrived in his father's chamber, he was greeted with a big smile, which was not reciprocated by Leon. Only a small nod came from him.

"So everything's settled?" A small whisper, a question that Leon already knew the answer to.

His father proudly replied, "Yes, I've already arranged everything with Vladimir. You and she are getting married in the next few days." His father speaks, looking at the other man in the room, Duke Vladimir, his father's best friend.

However, Leon didn't seem at all excited about the situation, in fact, he seemed rather upset.

"This will be great, we'll finally be able to expand our business." This sentence came from Leon's father, who was more than happy with the pact.

It was a long-standing interest of the king, of course, who wouldn't want to expand their business with one of the richest royal families?

But on the other hand, Leon had other plans. Plans that were not accepted by his father.

"Cheer up, the girl is a beautiful princess, very kind from what I've seen. I'm sure you'll get on well." Vladimir says, trying to console Leon, but frankly, it only seems to have gotten worse.

"How long do we have to stay in this marriage?" Perhaps he was still hoping it would only be for a short time.

"Indefinitely. They will be the source of our success, especially the princess. We need to collaborate with them, just as they collaborate with us." The king says, somewhat obviously, that he won't be breaking the contract any time soon.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll talk to the other servants. We need to organize the wedding invitations." Vladimir says as he leaves, just after bowing to the two members of royalty in the room.

Silence followed, Leon too upset with his father to speak a single word, while the king was daydreaming.

An ambitious king who would slowly make his reign the most prosperous in history, he couldn't ask for more. This would make everything perfect for Leon to take the throne and make the nation of Italy even prouder.

"I don't know how far your greed will go." A plausible complaint coming from Leon, directly confronting his father.

"I only want what's best for you and, consequently, for my nation." They both knew where this conversation was going, but since they were both hard-headed, they would continue anyway.

"What's best for me? You've arranged a marriage with a stranger and you think that's what's best for me?" By now, Leon's voice had changed considerably.

King Leonardo didn't like arguing, least of all with his own son. However, he would never tolerate his disobedience, never.

"And what would be better for you? Marry a paltry lady? Honestly, you need to think bigger." And the king hit the nail on the head, because that's exactly what Leon was getting at.

Ashley did come from an affluent family, but she wasn't as rich as the British family. Which in this case was yours.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that." Leon was once again affronting his father, which would certainly have serious consequences.

"Listen, if you want to continue your affair with this so-called Ashley, go ahead, I won't stop you. Now don't expect me to let you ruin your own future, too."

The two of them looked at each other not very kindly, especially Leon.

It seemed like he was being generous. What's the point? Living a life on the sly with the woman he loved? It didn't seem fair. It wasn't fair.

"You still have a lot to learn, my son." The king spoke with a certain heavy heart, and at the same time a jaw-dropping arrogance.

But how could Leon calm down? He didn't even know the woman he was going to marry and, even worse, he couldn't commit to the person he loved, Ashley.

But what irritated him even more was the fact that he knew it was all his father's whim.

But even this marriage wouldn't stop the prince from having a relationship with this woman, even if it meant an extramarital affair. And Leon didn't care if that had consequences, not even for his future wife.

"All I ask is that you don't complicate things. I'm still being kind enough to allow you to have these affairs, whether with Ashley or any other woman." That would even sound gentle if he wasn't talking about extramarital affairs.

"... Alright, Father." Once again, Leon swallowed his pride and let it happen. But then again, it's not as if he could do anything against his father's wishes.

Leon stormed out of his father's chamber, strong, heavy footsteps echoing down the so far empty corridor, and he didn't even look back. His mind was in the purest of shambles, fists clenched and an expression that wasn't the friendliest.

As he walked quickly through the corridors, he couldn't help but notice the commotion outside, expensive carriages arriving in the castle courtyard, making room for butlers to work and remove whatever was inside.

He imagined it was the arrangements for the marriage, since it would take place in the next few weeks. So it wasn't anything that caught his attention for long.

However, as soon as he looked up from the mezzanine, he saw the familiar figure, it was you. Wearing a simple blue dress, delicate gloves that covered up to your forearms, and of course, he couldn't forget your soft features.

As soon as you saw him from the hall, you gave him a discreet smile, making him let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Even for a brief second, his expression softened, but that didn't make him any less upset by the whole situation.

Queen Sarah spoke to you politely, saying how grateful she was for the courteous company of the princess, who was in fact being awaited by the other residents of the castle, at least most of them.

In fact, the queen felt lonely, since apart from the governesses, she had no other female companion to talk to during the day.

Slowly, Leon descended the grand staircase, stepping onto the red carpet, his steps light and slow, as if he were analyzing what he would do next.

Your eyes met his, and you smiled gently, bowing to him as you should. And he reciprocated, of course.

"Princess." He said, giving a nod to his mother, who politely curtsied to you.

"I'll get your bedroom ready." She says, her voice sweet and calm, as she moves gracefully through the castle.

You felt a shiver run up your spine at the thought that you were about to share a room with him. Since you weren't married yet, you were just going to sleep next to each other, a door that could be opened to connect one room to the other, since couples who hadn't made a commitment weren't supposed to sleep together until they were married.

"You have a beautiful home, prince." You murmur, the sweet smile always on your lips.

He chuckles a little, offering you his arm to hold, "Let me introduce you to the castle itself."

You smile, taking his arm and letting him lead you, obviously he was only doing it out of politeness, but you'd love to spend a little more time with him.

When your covered fingers curled around his arm, you couldn't help but feel the muscles that flexed with every slight movement, without any effort. Just as you couldn't help but notice his eyes every time he looked at you and explained something, the way his voice echoed through the empty corridors.

You walked side by side, your footsteps echoing through the unoccupied hallways, giving off a calm and intimate atmosphere somehow. You noticed the paintings, the properly placed decorations.

Even the curtains matched the carpets, as much as you were used to this sort of thing, it was still breathtaking to see such a sophisticated place.

You felt that despite your enchantment with the prince, you could see his lack of enthusiasm for you, you could see that it sounded more like a duty than anything else.

What did you expect? That it would be a fairy tale? In this life you were leading, the heart didn't always follow the rules of fairy tales.

"Let me take you to the courtyard, it's a nice day." You notice the sigh at the end of the sentence, as well as the distance he kept.

Even with all his explanations, all the talk about royal life, homework, the explanations for every painting in the corridor, you didn't pay much attention. Your attention was focused completely on him, perhaps because you were hoping for a hint of feeling, whatever that was.

Too bad you wouldn't find it even if you looked hard enough.

As soon as you left the large building, you were presented with a landscape that looked more like a hand-painted picture.

The courtyard was perfect, full of roses and other types of flowers, a wooded area, the grass all at the same length, without a single flaw. Meticulously cut bushes, flowers that adorned the greenery and gave it extra life, it seemed magical.

The afternoon sun shone down on the whole place, bringing everything to life. The birds humming and bathing in the water fountain, nature stretching as far as the eye could see.

"I hope you are pleased, princess." Leon says, his calm, velvety voice immediately making you look at him.

"Certainly, it's very well appreciated." With a sweet, polite smile you answered him, approaching the fountain and sitting down on one of the edges.

And he repeated the gesture, sitting down next to you.

Just as you were about to engage him in conversation, a strong wind whipped against you, causing your hair to tangle, the softly combed strands to fall into your face, undoing a good few minutes' work in an instant.

Then you felt a warm, robust hand on your cheek, brushing the strands behind your ear.

A gesture that was intimate, no doubt about it, and that was able to make you blush slightly as soon as you felt his hand graze your cheek, but which he pulled away.

"Thank you." You say with a gentle, shy smile, tidying up a few more of the strands that were still getting messy.

Despite his smile, you could see the piercing blue gaze, without much emotion. His gaze, which seemed to be as cold as ice, was still so attractive.

"My pleasure, princess." The warm tone didn't change his placid expression, not even if he tried very hard.

As the two of you stood in silence, all you could hear was the gentle breeze and the birds singing, everything seemed so peaceful.

Except for the restlessness of your heart, which stubbornly pounded every time he looked at you. And you mentally plagued yourself every time this happened.

Why was he doing that? Out of courtesy? Politeness? Decorum? Or were you thinking too much? Creating too many expectations?

And so you remained, gazing at the horizon and watching the sun slowly set, watching the magic of nature while your minds were in a whirl.

Your hand on the edge of the fountain, as well as his, fingers almost grazing each other, and you were tempted to make a move.

However, it would have been inappropriate for a lady, to say the least. Especially knowing that the chances of him taking your hand away were high.

So you'd better make the most of what you had.

As the garden began to darken a little and the sunlight slowly faded, Leon stood and looked around, seeing that it was already getting dark.

You've spent the whole day walking around the castle, so time has passed too quickly. At least for you.

"We should go, dinner should be ready by now." He was the first to break the silence, once again offering his arm and his company to take you to the dining area.

And there you went again, walking slowly through the courtyard back into the castle.

However, halfway there Leon stopped, picking up a red rose that had fallen to the ground. As soon as he knelt down to pick it up, he turned to you and planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand, his warm lips brushing against your gloved hand. It sent shivers through your body.

"Red looks good on you." He murmurs, placing the flower in your hair, very gently so as not to mess it up.

You made a little chuckle, the blush clear on your cheeks. Was he doing it out of politeness? Or just to keep up appearances?

It would have been a beautiful, subtle, gentle and even romantic gesture. That's if you hadn't noticed the lipstick staining the collar of his shirt.

Oh oh, poor you.

[folder-stuff]

I steamed with these drawings for a long time, but it was worth it.

When I drew the designs of the guardians, all sorts of ideas came to mind about what happened while Cornelia lived in Meridian. I really like what I came up with, and I'll try to explain why I drew it all at all.

In general, as you know, in this alternative, Cornelia went with Caleb to Meridian, leaving her family and friends, as well as the post of a guardian. This event has greatly shaken Will's confidence in herself as a leader who is obliged to unite girls. Especially after the arch with Nerissa, where she almost lost the Heart of Kandrakar. And don't forget about Taranee's doubts, because of which she even left the team in the canon. In general, Will had reasons to give the leader's place to a new member of the team - Orube. "Maybe someone else can handle it better?" she thought.

At first, it seemed to be a good idea to run away from responsibility. However, girls didn't think so. No one recognized Orube as a leader for many reasons, one of which was Will's authority as the previous head. And when the girls were looking for support in her, she couldn't provide it, because she's not as solid as Orube or Cornelia. Will is a sensitive nature, the heart of the team, not its foundation, and she isn't able to return everyone from heaven to earth because of her character.

Hence the main conflict was born: Will couldn't cope with the role of the guardian of the earth, since she wasn't able to take the position of Cornelia in the team. She felt out of place and understood that she used to be more effective. Against the background of the defeat that has already happened after Cornelia's departure and Taranee's doubts, this aggravated the feeling of failure, inferiority complex and hesitation. Confidence is the main quality of the guardian of the earth, and she lost it without even starting to develop in herself.

This is where the main dilemma began: she wanted the leader's place back. But not only because she realized her incompetence as a guardian of the earth. It's also about the Heart of Kandrakar. From the very moment of Orube's appearance and the transfer of the Heart, Will heard its call, at first barely perceptible, but growing stronger every day. With the understanding of where she really belonged, Will missed the feeling of unity with the Heart of Kandrakar, with its warmth and power. And it scared her. Because she began to see Nerissa in herself, to hear her phrases in her head and to dream that she's turning into a recently defeated enemy...

This is exactly what I wanted to convey in my first work: the binding vines that strangle Will and don't allow her to move; the imitation of the Heart of Kandrakar, which no longer belongs to her; fear from the desire to possess what she can no longer possess.

I hope I have enough strength to make a post about Orube, because I did the drawing for a long time and was a little tired =_=

In the second picture, I wanted to show Will's routine and her new powers. She conjures only plants, often flowers, as it's more difficult for her to cope with heavy stones and hard earth. This is due to fading self-confidence and lack of firmness in actions and decisions. She's effective in combat, but things don't always work out the way she intended, which makes her angry at the plants, as if they're a computer hanging at the wrong moment. She had to learn to cope with vines and flowers so that they were useful.

Also, these plants often get in the way and grow when and where it isn't necessary. For example, they can cling to the legs and grow while Will sleeps.

[stellamancer]

obligatory (satoru gojo x reader)

notes: haha. the valentine's fic. it's funny i still have to post halloween fic. maybe i'll finish this week since i'm off work. uh anyway, for those who say my posts, i'm kind of hesitant to post this for two reasons: 1) it's removed from context— like you can still get a feel of what is going on, but there's no explanation as for why and 2) due to reason 1 it's tonally different than usual, at least according to my beta reader. my eternal gratitude goes to @momodita who helped me workshop this fic and continues to demand i write more gojo fics despite denying being a gojo fucker.

contains: implied f!reader (no pronouns), the return of gojo's pov (a little less whacky this time lmao), jealous gojo (because those who know me know i can't get enough), light angst or whatever the hell is going on there. additionally, for those who don't know giri choco is chocolate you give out of obligation to your coworkers and honmei choco is chocolate you give to someone you have romantic feelings for. part of the infinite loop verse.

wc: 1.8k

“Here you go.”

Satoru graciously accepts Shoko’s offering: a thin, delicately wrapped box of Valentine’s Day chocolate. Naturally, it's giri choco; Satoru is well aware that Shoko would be caught dead before even thinking about giving Satoru honmei choco. That said, it looks like she's given more thought to her gift this year— the last few years she's just handed him a gourmet chocolate bar from some high end chocolatier. Actually, the last time she'd given him something wrapped up like this was…

“There better not be any liquor in this,” Satoru says in a petulant tone reminiscent of his high school days.

Shoko merely laughs. “As if I'd waste something like that on you.”

There's no way she’s forgotten how sick Satoru got the one time she did give him liquor filled chocolates. Not only had it made him sick to his stomach, it'd given him the worst headache of his entire life. If it were up to Satoru, liquor filled chocolates wouldn't even exist. “Welllll, thanks for the chocolate. I'll be sure to get you something good next month.”

Shoko gives him a relaxed smile. “Looking forward to it, Gojo.”

Knowing Shoko, she'll want liquor as usual. Maybe the same bottle of shochu that he got last year? She liked that, but then again, the same gift twice would be boring and Satoru is not about that. Whatever it is will be a little pricey, but Satoru doesn't mind it one bit— anything for one of his oldest friends.

Having given Satoru her yearly offering of chocolate, Shoko shoos him away so she can actually get to work. Satoru considers ambling around for another hour or two, but Ijichi will probably have a heart attack if he delays his mission briefing any longer. The sooner he does it the better, he guesses. Satoru starts sauntering toward the assistant managers’ office to find Ijichi, pulling at the ribbon on the box he received from Shoko as he goes. Inside are two rows of perfectly round chocolate truffles and Satoru picks one at random and pops it into his mouth. It's filled with a sweet raspberry cream that practically melts on his tongue. Shoko really went all out this year, but no matter how good these are they'd never match up to anything homemade.

Though, when he thinks about it, Satoru supposes he won't be getting anything like that this year.

When he gets to the assistant managers’ office he easily finds Ijichi, who, for once, is not bent over a mountain of paperwork, and with him is—

You.

Handing Ijichi a box of chocolates.

For some reason, Satoru suddenly feels very, very annoyed.

“Well, well, well,” he says, the volume of his voice louder than intended, but he doesn't care. “What do we have here?”

Ijichi whirls around and lets out a squeak, his face red as can be. He starts to blubber and it almost feels like Satoru's caught him in the middle of something more illicit than receiving chocolates. If Satoru weren't feeling so annoyed, he'd find the whole sight rather funny.

You, on the other hand, are far calmer, indifferent even, as a slight frown mars your features. Something about it makes Satoru's blood burn hot.

“Did I just interrupt a heartfelt love confession?” Satoru asks dryly and Ijichi starts to freak out even more, and while Satoru notices the slightest twitch of your eye, you remain impassive.

“I hope you like the chocolates,” you tell Ijichi, outright ignoring Satoru and somehow that makes Satoru's blood run even hotter. “I kept in mind what you said about last year's so they're not as sweet.”

“Thank you!” Ijichi squeals and you give the man a sympathetic smile before you head toward the door where Satoru's standing. He knows he's blocking the way, but he doesn't move.

Will you say something to him?

You don't.

Instead, you keep your head down and squeeze past him. Or try to. You brush against his side and Satoru doesn't miss the way your body jolts when you make physical contact with him. But it only lasts a second, and when that second ends, Satoru tries to ignore the feeling of bitterness rapidly spreading throughout his chest.

He means to say something, anything to you, but the words get caught in his throat.

By the time they free themselves, you're already gone.

Satoru sighs and saunters over to Ijichi, who's been taking deep breaths to calm down after Satoru's little bout of teasing. He leans against one of the desks and crosses his arms. “So, you had a mission for me?”

“Right! Yes!” Ijichi squeaks again and takes a deep breath before he starts to explain. Satoru only half listens to the briefing, his attention more focused on the little box sitting on Ijichi’s desk. The mere sight of it spurs a complicated set of feelings. He doesn't understand. You've been giving Ijichi chocolates every Valentine's ever since you moved to Tokyo and it's never bothered him before so why now?

“Um, Gojo?”

“What?” Satoru almost snaps.

Ijichi doesn't answer right away, instead he clears his throat and then says. “It's giri choco.”

Satoru scowls. Of course it is. It's not like you'd give Ijichi honmei choco. You don't see him like that. “I know that.”

Ijichi swallows thickly. Nervously. “Just making sure.”

Then he falls silent, the air between them now terribly awkward.

“...do you want some?” Ijichi asks.

“It's your chocolate.”

“I don't mind sharing,” Ijichi says, reaching over and opening the box to reveal your homemade chocolates. They're nowhere near as perfectly round as the ones Shoko bought for Satoru, but he can tell you put effort into making sure they looked presentable. “Help yourself.”

Even Satoru isn't terrible enough to steal an entire box of chocolates meant for another man, but he does grab the nicest looking one and tosses it into his mouth.

It's bitter; a mix of dark chocolate and black coffee that's not only completely unpalatable to Satoru, but disturbingly reminiscent of the bitter feeling that's now threatening to eat him whole. He almost wants to spit it out.

But he doesn't.

Satoru swallows it all.

The mission is uneventful, absurdly easy even, though Satoru took a little longer than he needed to by toying with the curses a little prior to exorcising them. Some would consider it a touch cruel, but Satoru doesn't care. Anything to rid himself of that pesky feeling from earlier.

If it were up to him, he would have headed straight home afterwards, but Yaga had asked him to come back and do some paperwork. Satoru had tried to reason with him, tell him he'd just do it tomorrow but the principal was insistent.

Satoru trudges to his office and throws open the door. Inside, someone lets out a surprised yelp.

It’s you.

Again.

Both you and Satoru stare at each other in surprise. Given that you've been avoiding both him and this entire corridor like the plague for the past two months, you're the last person he’d expect to find in his office, hovering over his desk. And yet…

You look away from Satoru, your expression awkward. This isn't like your encounter in the assistant manager's office earlier; you can't just walk out of his office without an explanation of why you're there.

Well, you can try, but it's not like Satoru will let you.

“Weren’t you supposed to be out on an assignment?” you finally ask. Satoru thinks you mean to sound annoyed, but your tone is watered down.

“I was, but it was so easy I could have done it blindfolded.”

Normally, you'd just roll your eyes or snap back about how he's a show off or his jokes are shit, but you remain quiet. He shouldn't be surprised, but it still makes him feel weird. Almost sad. Almost empty.

“Principal Yaga asked me to leave some paperwork on your desk,” you say, sounding uncharacteristically meek.

Satoru frowns a little. Yaga, huh? He never pegged him as a meddler. Satoru approaches the desk to look at the paperwork in question; he grimaces— it's a whole freaking stack.

You start to shuffle away from Satoru and toward the door as Satoru flips through all the papers. “Anyway, if you'll excuse me—”

“Wait a sec.” Satoru says and you glance back at him in confusion. There's something peeking out from under the stack of papers. Satoru gingerly fishes it out, revealing a familiar looking box. He holds it up and adds, “Did you leave this too?”

A myriad of varying emotions flashes across your face before you settle on an awkward sort of embarrassment. “I… did.”

It's weird. Satoru didn't expect you to be so straightforward given that under normal circumstances you always choose to be as obstinate as possible. Which Satoru doesn't mind in the slightest; it makes things exciting. There are few things more fun than prying the truth out of you with whatever means necessary. Answering him so readily like this… almost feels wrong.

“I accidentally made too much,” you explain.

Satoru stares at you. It’s not an excuse, not a lie. Honestly, adjusting the amounts to account for one less person probably slipped your mind until it was too late. You could have done anything with the extra chocolate, given more to each person, eaten it yourself, but instead…

You still chose to give it to him.

Satoru tries to ignore the strange feeling stirring in his chest.

“Anyway, eat it if you want, toss it if you don’t,” you add, almost hurriedly as you move closer to the door. You give a quick bow to excuse yourself and before Satoru can say anything else, you run off.

His eyes remain glued to the empty doorway where you were just standing for a second before looking back at the box of chocolates you left for him. Carefully, he unties the ribbon and pulls off the lid. Just like Ijichi’s chocolates, the ones in his box aren’t perfect, but something about them looks nicer than the ones Ijichi got. Satoru wonders if you consciously put in a little more effort when you’d realized you had extra. The thought makes him chuckle a little.

He delicately plucks one from the box and pops it into his mouth. It’s sweet, infused with a hint of strawberry and vanilla that makes Satoru crave even more. As soon as he’s done with the first he shoves another into his mouth, and then another. With each chocolate he eats, the painful feeling in his chest grows, but he ignores it.

Before he knows it, the chocolates are all gone. Satoru licks his lips, hoping for one last taste of that strawberry vanilla sweetness only to find nothing. All he has left is the empty box and an aching heart.

if you read this whole thing, thank you and i hope you enjoyed it.

also yes, shoko got chocolates (tomo choco) too. they were similar to ijichi's, but with liquor instead of coffee.

[panda-writes-kpop]

I'll only stay with you one more night ~ j. hjn.

a/n: two weeks between posts will probably become the new normal as I struggle through this semester 😭 don't worry, school's going fine, I'm just busy as hell right now with work, school, and familial obligations. So don't worry if there's a week or two between uploads, I'm totally fine!! 🫶

tw: a bit pg-13 with some of the description (my bad yall, i just want to make out with jeon heejin y'know), mention of booze, reader is a romantic yet a bit depressed but we love them for it ❤️

summary: a precarious dance between you and heejin threatens to end as she lures you into her thralls yet again, but you won't break this new normal between the two of you. neither will she, so you're stuck in this limbo of 'not-quite-friends-but-not-quite-lovers'.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Jeon Heejin eyes you, warily, as you approach her in the kitchen.

“You thought parties weren’t my… thing?” She draws out the last word, inviting a rebuttal from you.

You’re too smart to take the obvious bait, but too stupid to leave the conversation alone in its entirety.

“Didn’t think you were one to shoot vodka straight.” You gesture to the red solo cup in her hand - you’re a foot away from her, but you can practically taste the liquor in the air.

The smell makes you wish that you had drank something before starting this conversation. It’d help you feel less bad about what happens afterward.

“Maybe I like the way it tastes.” She teases before lifting the cup to her lips.

You’d almost believe her, if you didn’t know her so well, but the ghastly grimace on her face gives away her true thoughts about the drink.

“No person drinks vodka because they like the taste. What’s on your mind, Little Miss Perfect?”

Heejin scowls at the nickname - a long standing tradition between the two of you. You’d call her a role model or a perfect princess, and she’d respond by calling you a jackass or rolling her eyes at you.

Two people, perfectly molded to be each other’s opposite.

So why are you here, at this party, with her of all people?

“Would you believe me if I told you?”

“No,” Your response falls from your lips, immediately, and a teasing grin appears on your face, “but I’m willing to hear you out anyway.”

“You’re a liar.”

“It’s my charm, really.” You shrug before leaning against the fridge. “Are you in the mood for confessions or not?”

“Well…” She trails off, an unreadable expression on her face.

She leans against the counter after setting her drink aside. Her shirt lifts up, perfectly showing her well-defined body.

Why does she play this game with you, again and again? You’re both losers in the end.

Heejin is a perfect calamity of a woman - her eyes a whirlwind of emotions, a smile that is genuine but never quite reaches her eyes, her gestures as icy as they are warming.

You can’t tell if you want to slap or kiss that shit-eating grin off of her face.

And, based on your previous encounters with her, it’s most definitely going to be the latter option.

“Like what you see?” She winks at you before grabbing her drink again.

Her eyes study you, just as she studies her materials in class. Brutally methodical, looking for any errors or opportunities to pounce on.

She wants to lure you into her trap, into her clutches - you wanted her first, right?

“Fuck you.” The words would sound malicious coming from anyone else, but they’re oddly playful from your lips.

“You told me you wanted to know what’s on my mind…” Heejin strolls towards you with an unmistakable amount of confidence, the type that comes with experience.

She’s got you right where she wants you - as she does every time.

When she lands right in front of you, one of her hands lands on your abdomen. Heejin leans in close, close enough for only the two of you to hear.

“You. I’ve only had you on my mind, and it’s ruining my day.”

She leans back, a playful pout on her face.

A lioness with her prey in her claws - so much for her façade of innocence.

You should resist, push her hand away and let yourself get some air. Maybe it’s the booze in her breath that’s making you drunk, or maybe you’re just drunk on her.

Either way, that fleeting thought of rationality doesn’t seem to stop you from chasing Heejin’s lips as you kiss her with the pent-up frustration of her teasing.

Her hand leaves your chest as you place your hands on your lips - if you’re letting this happen, you may as well be in control of your actions.

You know you want this, as does she. You’re both just scared of the after.

The eternal after, the words you two should tell each other.

I love you. I miss you. I want you. I need you.

But you’re stuck in this charade, this mess where you push and pull against each other, hoping one will give before the other does. 

Heejin’s too prideful, and you’re too resistant to the idea of “us”.

But you’re both content, especially as she pulls at your shirt for more as her lips continue to meet yours.

Why should you deny her of you, of the things that make you both content?

Maybe next time will be different.

It won’t be. 

You know this.

She knows this.

Yet you’re still kissing her, and she’s still kissing you.

Forever in limbo.

Forever two souls together, but not quite intertwined.

[viviennevermillion]

hello!! i'm absolutely in love with your writing and your posts!! (they're so inspiring seriously)

anyway- i was wondering if i could request Blade with a chronically ill s/o? no specific illness required! just the reader generally being under the weather a lot and exhausted, and how he reacts & takes care of them :)

thank you!! have a lovely day/night <3

With a chronically ill s/o

✧ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: thank you so much for the request! i feel this bc i've just been diagnosed with two of 'em chronic illnesses (GERD and cough variant asthma) this year and it's been wearing me down before i figured out how to properly manage it. i hope you like this request! also you said i'm converting you to sampo so i'm adding him to this post.

if any readers would like to be on my star rail taglist, feel free to notify me (+ for which characters you want to be tagged). if i find you're on my dni, i will block instead.

✧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: i'll be there — gabriella bee

✧ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: blade, sampo

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: none

Blade is a very patient and attentive boyfriend. He already thinks existence is a pain so he does whatever he can to make sure you feel better and comfortable. When you have a particularly bad day he'll definitely stay with you if you want him to.

When he first learns of your illness, he makes sure to do enough research to understand it. Kafka found him sitting at a desk with a stack of books about your condition to make sure he's prepared for anything. She'd lean against the door frame with a smile on her face, watching him for a moment before making herself known. "That's so sweet of you", she chuckles and Blade turns his head. "Mind your own business."

Kafka definitely snitches and tells you about how much effort he put into understanding you and your condition

He makes sure to talk with you about it as well. He asks you what symptoms you have, how they feel for you and what you found helps you when you feel under the weather.

Literally asks Elio to predict what your condition will be like in the coming days. If it's a day where your illness flares up particularly bad, he makes sure to get all the items that help you and medications you need in advance.

He does not tell you that he does this; you just think the Stellaron Hunters are very medically prepared.

If Elio predicts that you'll have a particularly good day, Blade makes sure to take you out on a date. Maybe a picnic in nature or a nice dinner somewhere where there isn't a chance of someone trying to arrest him.

He listens to what you say you need at the moment. If you need space and rest, he will happily oblige but if you feel better with his comfort, he'll lay down next to you and wraps an arm around you from behind, snuggling close to you.

Blade has a satisfied smile on his face when he finds you in a peaceful sleep despite your symptoms or pain. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, careful not to wake you. He feels you snuggle closer to him in your sleep and it makes his heart flutter to find a smile on your face.

If he feels like you might need to eat or might be hungry when you wake up, he pays someone to bring you a nice (and suitable) meal to your doorstep. When you wake up, he asks you how you are feeling and tells you that he hopes you had a nice rest while nuzzling your cheek. "I got you lunch", he says softly and exactly in that moment the door to your room opens and you get your meal.

He assists you with whatever tasks may fall on your plate if you're ready to accept his help. He makes sure the other Stellaron Hunters go easy on you and don't give you any tasks that you feel you might not be able to handle on days where your illness flares up.

If you sent him a text message saying you're not feeling well and need his comfort at the moment, he'd literally drop everything to be by your side.

Blade has lived for a long time and he has seen quite a few cases of chronic illness so he's fairly adapt at being there for you. He's worried about you sometimes but he also knows you're living with chronic illness every day, so you know best what helps you and he trusts that you will take good care of things and reach out to him when you need him.

If you need a distraction, he'll be happy to read to you or play a board game with you or take a walk etc.; whatever you feel up to in the moment!

Sampo is super worried about you at first when you tell him you have a chronic illness because he's super inexperienced with the topic and has no idea what to do whatsoever. So he asks you what that means for you and what exactly your illness is, but there's definitely unrest in his voice.

With time, he fusses over you less and learns to correct some of the worst case scenarios in his head when you told him about it. Sometimes you need to bonk him with a "Sampo, I'm not dying" reminder but he's getting there.

Of course he could look up your condition in books and inform himself about it properly like Blade, but this idea does not occur to him. Instead, if you tell him that you're feeling under the weather, he just like,,,, gets everything, just to be sure. He reassures you that with Natasha around, you'll be in good hands and he promises to her not to try and scam her anymore so long as she takes good care of his love.

You text him that you're not feeling well and that your illness is flaring up and two hours later Sampo enters your home with four comically large bags. "Hey love, I'm home", he calls out to you, "I didn't know what you needed, so I got everything to be sure."

And he really did get everything. You rummage through the bags and raise an eyebrow at him like: "Sampo, what in the name of the Aeons is all this stuff?" There's 3 additional blankets, a hot water bottle, several over-the-counter medications, a couple of prescription meds that Sampo swears he "actually had a prescription for, don't worry about where I got them", healing crystals which he knows are "probably a scam, but there's no harm in trying and they compliment your eyes"; herbs, soup and medical equipment.

A lot of it has actually 0 to do with your condition but he wasn't 100% sure, so he just brought it. You may not need a humidifier, but you own one now.

The highlight is when he says "hold up, there's one more thing", exits your place and comes back a minute later with an entire echocardiac machine. You might not even have a heart condition. "Sampo...what- did you steal that?", you raise an eyebrow. "I found it and thought it might be useful, so I borrowed it", he says and kisses you to distract you from the topic.

Needless to say from that day on you only send him out with a shopping list and tell him to only explicitly get what you told him you need.

If you ever have any heart symptoms he's like "See? This is why we have the echo machine." "Did you learn literally anything?", you shake your head and sigh.

Sampo may not be the most adapt at handling your chronic illness, but he's got the spirit and Natasha is willing to explain things to him as well.

Regardless of how you're feeling, Sampo always manages to make you smile at the end of the day.

When you need rest he's more than happy to cuddle you and spoil you. He'd wrap you in a blanket and repeatedly kisses your temple, whispering to you that he loves you. "Don't worry", he speaks softly and kisses your forehead, "Sampo Koski will always be here for you. I'm sure you'll feel better soon. At least you don't have a Stellaron in your body." "What's a Stellaron?" "Don't worry about it."

Overall, he's confused but he's very dedicated.

[claireborowski]

Hmm. Don't know what I'm gonna eat tonight. Gotta work late unfortunately and I hate it. Having to work outside my home is horrible. Losing all those calories. What a waste. Rather be at home with my feeder texting me. Ordering me food, making me video call, watching me eat, making me eat on all fours, feeling my belly stretch and hurt, starting to sweat from holding myself up. Why can't I just have that everyday...oh well eventually~

Then they shared my posts with one of my partners..so humiliating. Made my partner tease me this morning and telling me to write more and more. Guess I need to oblige. Those urges I've spoken so much about are starting to take over..and it feels so good. Soon enough, I'll be a mindless fat pig. With no way to escape or leave.

Just need those pushes. Maybe some brainwashing and more corruption. That would just be perfect~

[reginaaxxwrites]

It Took Time (Fred Weasley)

This was been in my draft for months already. I decided to finally post it. This story contains 6.2k words. Enjoy!

*****

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader (With a little bit George x Fem!Reader)

Warning: IT CONTAINS SMUT (Guys, I know this is the first time I released smut fanfiction. I just hope this one is good enough. I did not intend this story to have smut, but there you go. Enjoy your meal.)

*****

How do I start this?

I am madly in love with George Weasley. Yes, the famous George Weasley who always gets into trouble along with his brother, Fred Weasley. It was hard liking someone inside your circle of friends.

I tried not to be obvious about my feelings for him. I try to act casual because it's my way of controlling myself to burst my emotions when I'm with him. But sometimes I just can't help myself from showing him.

George would always sit beside me and talk about everything. Like his favorite spell or his memorable pranks. With every word he says, I can't help but get lost in it. I stare at him with dreamy eyes. And even if I get lost in his words, I still understand everything he said and it always piques my interest. I'll never get tired of his stories.

Unlike his brother, George seems to be more reserved. I don't know how to explain it but without Fred, he wouldn't be as chaotic as he is today. I guess they just complete each other.

"I think he fancies you," Angelina whispered beside me. I nudged her and rolled my eyes.

"I think not. Now, shut up and let me do homework." I continued to write on my parchment paper.

"Boringgg." She yawned.

I would be lying if I say I didn't think that he fancies me. I mean, it's possible. Or maybe I just like to assume things and feed my delusions. Because there are times he would flirt, but I don't know if that was intentional or if it's not.

"Damn you, Angelina." I glared at her. She looks confused as to why I cursed at her.

"I am mad. I really fancy him. And I can't do something about it." I buried myself on the table.

"Then confess to him. You'll never know until you initiate the move to tell him." She's right but what if I have been wrong all this time? That he simply just sees me as his friend.

George Weasley, why are you so hard to read?

"So... Any ideas how will you confess to him?" Angelina leaned on the table with a teasing smirk placed upon her lips.

"Shut it." I tried to ignore her but she was too clever to know it'll just keep bothering me and in the end, I would talk about it.

"Oh, I don't know, Angelina!" I slammed my quill and looked at her. I noticed that the Common Room went silent, so I looked around. They were all looking at me.

Okay, maybe I slam my quill too loud and too hard. I gave them my apology look and went on about what they were doing a while ago.

"Whoa, calm down, girl. You know I think it's unnecessary to confess--"

"But you just said a while ago?!" I am upset. Because it's been frustrating since then when I started to like him.

"I know. But listen to me. Everyone in this room knows you fancy him. Even his twin teases you about it. I'm sure George knows it too somehow. Maybe he just acts dumb because like you, he doesn't want to assume things."

"So, I should confess to him?"

"It's not like it's your obligation to do so. But if it's what you want. If it's the only way to stop you from overthinking then go. Take the risk or lose the chance, they say." Angelina smiled at me. She just knew the right thing to say.

-

I'm scared.

As the day goes by, I intend to show that I like him. But I'm not sure if he can tell. I'm not good with words. Never was. I'm starting to stutter, I can't even look at his eyes when I talk to him. I'm nervous whenever he's around.

Poor George doesn't know what I was feeling. How I was acting weird when he sits beside me during class and in the Great Hall.

If I don't tell him sooner, I'll forever look dumb in front of him.

"I can't tell him," I whispered to myself. Maybe it's because it's too soon. George and I recently got close this year because he joined me in playing exploding snaps during the first day of our sixth year. Ever since then, we just talk and talk.

"Hey, Longbottom." I knew I recognized that voice. I looked to see George making his way beside me.

"George." I greeted with a faint smile.

"I was looking for you."

"You are?" Why was he looking for me? Millions of possibilities went through my mind about why he was looking at me.

"Yes, I am. Lee was telling me about our paper and told me to get you so we could start at the Library." Oh. Of course, our research paper.

"You? When did George Weasley suddenly talk about boring stuff? What piques your interest?" I teased him and he just laughs.

Damn, his laughter. It's making my stomach churn or whatever it is.

"Well for one, Lee wanted to finish this paper so he could still be commenting in the upcoming Quidditch. Because Godric knows how bad his marks are."

"Aren't yours bad as his?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Rude but yes. That's one, no, two. And lastly, we know the kind of nerd you are and how you like to finish the given tasks as soon as possible. Aren't we making this easy for you, Longbottom?" He was grinning and looking at me. I swear I could feel my whole face turning into a beet red.

"Fine, Weasley." I took my stuff as he leads the way through the Library where Lee is waiting for us.

Once we entered the Library, Lee waves us over to the table where he was and books are already opened. I sat beside him while George took the seat in front of us.

"You do realize we still have a month to do this paper, right? We don't have to start right away." I told him while I bring out my notebooks and quills and ink.

"Who are you and what have you done to Y/N?" Lee acted surprised as I rolled my eyes at him.

"I mean, the sooner we finish this, the better. Don't you agree, George?" He looked at his best friend who nodded and grinned like an idiot.

"I feel like you two are messing with me." I glared at them.

"Whaaat?"

"Never," George answered.

I didn't push the subject any longer and started to skim the books Lee placed on our table. I guess, it is better to have this paper finished.

Later that night, I told Angelina how my day and her day went like we always do before going to bed.

"Have you decided?" Angelina asked while she was helping me brush my hair. We were both looking at each other in our reflection in the mirror.

"It's only a month since I started liking him. Don't you think it's too soon?" I was already playing with my necklace's pendant which was given by my mother. I did this a lot of times whenever I'm nervous.

My best friend held both of my shoulders and gave me an assuring smile.

"Then take your time. I'm sure you'll get the courage to tell him. I mean, we're Gryffindors, are we?"

"We are."

-

It was getting worst.

Exams are coming soon and I cannot focus. His image comes into my mind and I can't focus. I really need to tell him. I should, it would help me clear my thoughts. It was now or never.

I grabbed my sweater before leaving the Common Room and looked for the red-haired male almost everywhere in the castle. Then, I remembered they were supposed to be at the Courtyard today.

When I finally saw the guy I was looking for, I didn't waste any moment and grabbed his wrist. I heard some of the students whistling and teasing us, including his brother while I look for a quiet place where we can talk.

"Is something the matter, Y/N?" He looked into my eyes, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I... I--there's something I need to tell you..." I could faint at any moment because my hands were cold and shaking.

Deep breaths, Y/N. You can do this.

"Y/N--"

"I like you. It's bad, I know. We became friends not long ago. It was getting worst and I can't just sit still and do nothing about it. You don't have to like me back. And I understand if...if you don't want to be friends with me anymore..." I could feel my cheeks getting wet from my tears.

Ha, why am I crying?

I'm frustrated and confused because, for the first time, he's the first guy who is gentle toward me. I couldn't look at him even though I want to see his reaction. I'm scared.

"I don't know what to say... It's not like every day I received confessions like this. But..." He took a step closer to me. "Could you give me time? To think about, I mean."

I didn't answer him instead, I nodded. I tried to wipe my tears but a hand stopped me and gave me a handkerchief.

"Here. Don't cry."

I went back to the Common Room and saw Angelina waiting for me. She saw how red my eyes are and quickly went over to me. She embraced me, comforting me in her arms.

"How did it go?" She asked as we enter our dorm room. We sat in my bed and she tried to fix my face.

"I do not know. He told me to give him time. But Godric knows he won't talk about that conversation again unless I initiate it."

I tried to avoid George every time we cross the hallways, Angelina would sit beside me during classes and never left my side. 

I was fixing my things when suddenly the door slammed hard. I turned to look around to see Angelina panting hard as if she had run all the way into our dorm room.

"Angelina! Are you all right? You look like you ran--"

"That's because I ran all the way in here." She took off her scarf and throw it on her bed.

"You need to talk to him." She firmly said to me. I looked away.

"Y/N, it's more painful to leave a question not answered than get rejected. I cannot stand my two best friends avoiding each other when they only got to be friends before the term started." She took my hand and helped me to stand up.

"But..."

"I don't want to get your hopes up. But I heard him and Lee talked about you. He told Lee that you had a chance but--"

"Nothing comes good after 'but'." I joked.

"I know. But he's scared, Y/N. He doesn't want to hurt you. If you talk to him now... You might help him to chase away anything that scares him from being with you. You need to take another risk."

Another risk...

"He's in the Common Room. Talk to him, Y/N. If it doesn't work out then I'm here for you. Always." She kissed my cheeks and pulled me out of the room. We took downstairs and saw the three of them.

He was laughing together with his best friends, Lee and Fred. Angelina went over to them and the two boys stood up. They both looked at me and smiled. The boys and Angelina left the room, leaving me and George.

"Y/N."

"George."

"Am I an idiot for liking you this much? Because if I am, then I must be the most idiotic of all idiots." I fake laughed but he didn't. His face showed an expression I'd never seen before. It was dark. It feels like he took my breath away.

He took steps closer to me.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I am ready to be with someone. I don't want to hurt you because you are one of the most important people in my life." I saw how he wanted to touch me or take my hand. But something was stopping him. It's like he can't take the risk of touching me like I'm fragile. He thinks that once he touches me, I'm going to break. He is scared of hurting me more.

"I'm sorry for making you wait for nothing."

"No, I get it. And I'm sorry... For avoiding you, for acting like I didn't know you, or pretending like we weren't friends at all after I did something that made you feel uncomfortable." I gave him a faint smile.

"I hope we can still be friends."

"We are friends, George. We always will be." our eyes never left looking at each other until the clock struck midnight.

"Good night, Weasley. I'll see you tomorrow." I started to walk away. I didn't bother to wait for his response.

"Good night." I heard him say before I reach the top of the stairs to look at him one last time before entering into my dorm room.

-

The rejection helped me to calm my thoughts. To stop me from assuming but the sudden actions from him never stopped. How he makes sure I don't get sweaty and hot from the sun's heat. Or when it rains he casts a spell to make an umbrella and we would share it.

I don't get him.

How can I move on when his words are contradicting his actions? Why does he keep making me a fool?

"What're you three doing?" I saw the twins and Lee brewing something in their cauldron. Potions ingredients were everywhere. If McGonagall saw this mess they would've been sent to detention straight away.

Bananas.

Newt Spleens

An orange snake.

A green leaf.

"Fred and George Weasley! You're making an aging potion! And you, Lee Jordan, tell me why am I not surprised that you're also a part of this?" I know what they're trying to do. They're going to try and trick the Goblet of Fire.

"Of course, you could tell by looking at the ingredients. Brilliant, isn't she?" Fred grinned like an idiot.

"No need to state what's always been obvious, Forge." He commented on his brother. They continued to mix the potion as if I wasn't there to scold them which I am debating on it.

"Have you decided?" Lee asked.

"What?"

"It's painful to look at you when you're trying to decide whether to tell McGonagall or you'd rather help us finish this potion." He explained.

"Actually... I'm not. Because this is stupid. Dumbledore cast a spell around the Goblet. You cannot trick the Goblet of Fire or Dumbledore." I lectured them but they just snickered.

These boys.

"No wonder Hermione worships the ground you walk, Longbottom." Fred teased me as I rolled my eyes at him.

"You three are going to regret it," I warned them but they just seem not to care.

"And thank you for the warning." The twins said in chorus.

"But"

"you know us--"

"breaking the rules." They gave me their most mischievous smiles.

I looked at Lee and he just shrugged. "What they said."

The next day, we were in the Great Hall during our free time. Hermione sat beside me, reading her book while I helped my brother with his assignment.

"You're joking," I told my brother. He looked at me, confused.

"You don't need my help in Herbology, Neville. You have high marks than I was when I'm in your year. Have confidence in yourself."

"Really?" I pinched his cheeks as I nod at his question.

Suddenly we heard laughter and looked to see the three pig brains. They went over in our direction while holding a small bottle containing the potion.

"Done it." Fred showed us the potion. I rolled my eyes at him while Hermione was trying to stop them.

"Honestly, don't even try," I whispered to her but she continued.

"It's not going to work." Hermione sang the words as the twins went closer to her. Fred looking at her, closely as well as George.

"Oh, really, Granger?" Fred smirked at her. Hermione tried to explain what I already told them last night.

And of course, they didn't listen to her and drank the potion. She looked at me, annoyed at the three boys. I mouthed her 'I told you, so.' before she went back to her book. Harry and Ron seem to be fascinated by the trick.

After they drank the potion, they stepped inside the circle and the students clapped and cheered them on.

Oh, now I'm curious what's going to happen. I watched them put their paper in the Goblet. We saw nothing happen to them so the students clapped in amazement. Of course, I believed that something is still going to happen.

And something did happen.

"Argh!" Lee, Fred, and George flew out of the circle as they aged into an old man. Peals of laughter filled the entire Great Hall. I couldn't help but also laugh. They tried to punch each other and put the blame on one another.

Later that day, Angelina and I decided to visit them in the Hospital Wing. They were finally going back to their age. Well, almost.

"I'd say a beard looks good on you, Weasley." I joked as I sat beside his bed. I touched his beard as he chuckled.

"I still look like a thirty-year-old man." He smiled.

"Better than looking like an eighty-year-old man."

"Ouch. I expect to still look handsome at that age." He placed his right arm on his left chest as if he was struck in the heart.

"Are you? I didn't take a good look. I was busy laughing earlier." I teased him and Godric, I hated when he gave me that smirk on his lips. I want to rip it.

Calm down, Y/N.

"At least tell me I made a perfect potion. Don't want to disappoint a potion master."

"You... You were never bad at potions, George Weasley." I gave him a gentle smile and he just kept quiet looking at me.

-

"I was already rejected and yet I still hope for us to happen." I buried my face in my pillow. My best friend sat beside me.

"Why do I feel like you're about to try and confess to him one more time?" I know she was teasing but damn her because she is giving me an idea to do so.

"Oh, no. I am only joking, Y/N! Don't even think about it." She said, firmly. "I swear I'm this close to swinging a bat on a bludger and then aiming it in his face."

"Please don't."

"I won't. Only because you said 'please'."

"What am I supposed to do? I expect these feelings would go away after getting rejected. Now, I'm only falling deeper." I'm starting to cry again out of frustration.

"Nothing. Just nothing." She looks at me as I sat down properly at my bed.

"You are not the problem here, Y/N. He's the one to blame. Putting you in this position where you should be moving on. Because Godric's sword, if only you know how boys from Durmstrang and Beauxbaton look at you every time you walked past them."

"What?"

"See. You don't need to set your eyes only on one boy who rejected you but proceeds to act as if he fancies you. Find other guys. Move on."

"But what if he does like me? He's just not ready like he said..."

"That's bullshit. It doesn't matter whether you're ready or not. If you like someone, you'd still pursue them, take the risk even if it's scary. Just like you did. Clearly, he's giving you mixed signals." Angelina sounded angry. She was annoyed like she wanted to punch George if she ever saw him.

"Would you get mad if I told you that I just sent him a letter? Confessing to him the second time?" I pout as she turns her face into a sour one.

"Y/N LONGBOTTOM!" She was angry. Really angry. "What exactly did you write in that letter?!"

"That I still fancy him. That if I didn't receive an owl from him later this evening, it means... All he did meant nothing to him."

"Please swear to me that this will be the last thing you will do." She just sighed.

"I promise."

"Then, are you sure you're ready for whatever response you receive from him?" Angelina looked worried for me. That's why I am lucky to have her by my side.

"Yes."

As expected from him, I didn't receive any owls from him. I slept through the night so I don't have to cry until it reaches morning.

My best friend and I went to breakfast, avoiding that one Weasley. While I was eating and chatting with Angelina, someone poked my sides. I look to see Fred, grinning as he sat beside me.

"Morning." He greeted us.

"Is there something you need, Fred?" Angelina raised an eyebrow at her friend.

"Nothing. I just wanted to eat breakfast." He shrugged his shoulders while placing a toast on his plate and into mine.

"I can get my own toast." I sounded mean but I didn't mean to.

"Looks like someone had a bad sleep."

"She did, Fred." Angelina rolled her eyes at him.

"I see... Well, let me just enjoy my breakfast, at least." Fred grinned like an idiot.

-

The twins were a bit mean when they started a bet between Harry and Cedric. Poor Harry seemed to look like he wants to drop out of the Tournament. Sadly, he can't because it's part of the rules.

And then there's Fred, who would always pester me around. He would poke my sides, even if he goddamn well knows that's my tickle spot. He would open up to me easily, telling me how he had a crush on Angelina during our 4th year. But stopped pursuing her because my best friend clearly doesn't look interested in dating him.

We became closer. We became more than acquaintances. We were close friends.

We became inseparable.

Angelina noticed it. How happy I am. I was blooming, she said. She never saw me this happy. And she was wondering why but didn't bother to have it answered because all she cares about was my happiness.

"You're an idiot, Fred." I scold him. "And stop that betting game you and your twin started. It only brings war upon Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors."

"You know, I've noticed you kept saying 'your twin'." He changed the subject. I looked away and watch the birds fly into the gloomy sky.

We are both in Black Lake to get some fresh air.

"I do not know what you mean."

"Damn, I know he rejected you. But I get it. You see, the problem with George is that he's afraid of women. He once liked Angelina but he did nothing about it." I was surprised that George liked Angelina. This is the first time I am hearing this.

"You both liked the same girl?"

"It always happens. A bit frustrating, honestly. But at times like that, I'm willing to give up the woman I like for him. We're twins but he's the younger one so..."

"You let go."

"Always. For my twin's happiness."

"What about yours?" I felt pity for him. I know I shouldn't because he wouldn't like that.

"George's happiness is my happiness." He smiled at me. But I know it was a sad one. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"A true Gryffindor." I felt him chuckle.

"So are you."

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Oh, no.

No... I can't possibly be falling for him now. This would be an outrage. I can't.

It's only been three months ever since I stopped liking George. Three months since then I have not talked to him.

"You and Fred seemed gotten closer. Both of you suited more perfectly." Angelina, once again, I know she's joking but she isn't helping.

Does she need to know? Must she know? I don't know. She might make fun of me.

Godric, it feels like a sin to fall for Fred.

"Oh, dear... I know that look. You like Fred." She placed her hand on her lips and went beside me. "Tell me everything." She doesn't look disgusted. Instead, she looks like she's excited.

I told her everything I know and she can't remove her smile ever since I started talking.

"Godric! I knew it!" She was giggling. "So what do you intend to do?"

"Nothing. I can't let him know. He can't know. I won't confess. I won't tell him anything." I mumbled.

"Right. Let him be the one to develop his feelings for you. You don't have to do anything this time." She smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"You should never feel guilty for liking someone. I pray that this time, Fred will do exactly the opposite George did to you. You two suit together, really."

"Thank you, Angelina. For everything."

"What friends are for?"

-

Professor McGonagall announced that there will be a ball. The ball is only exclusive for the fourth year and above.

Our head of house started to prepare us for the ball. She called all Gryffindors from the fourth year and above to practice our dance steps. So we don't look stupid on the day of the event.

Ron and his friends joked about something while looking at Eloise Mignon. I felt my insides get irritated and then McGonagall called him over for a dance. Fred and George made fun of their brother as well as Harry.

"Now, boys. Find your partners." I saw my brother the first one to rise on his chair. I smiled at him and asked Hermione to dance with him. She gladly accepted my brother's offer.

The other boys finally went to our side. Fred reached my wrist and pulled me on the dance floor.

"Really? No asking but pull the woman you see first? How gentleman of you, Weasley." I joked as he laughs at my words.

"Pleasures all mine, Longbottom." He winked at me as he spun me and then dipped me down while his hand was on my waist and the other one on my hand.

I saw George looking in our direction while he was dancing with Angelina. I immediately broke our eye contact and focus on Fred.

"Smooth." I smiled. "Who do you plan to ask on the ball?" 

"Maybe Angelina? Or some girls from other houses." He answered. I got to admit that it broke my heart a little. I thought that it might occur to him that he can ask me.

"And you?" 

"No one." 

"I thought you were waiting for George to ask you." He teased but ignored it.

"Well, you thought wrong." I didn't mean to sound annoyed but I am. I don't why my mood changes suddenly. "Sorry..." 

"Hey, don't be. I heard girls tend to get stressed on upcoming occasions like this." I unbelievably looked at him. "What? I mean, has anyone asked you?"

"That's a bit rude to ask a girl." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"So, no one--"

"Fred!" I playfully hit his arm. "Of course, someone had asked me. But I turned them down."

"May I ask why?"

"I'm waiting for someone to ask me." I could feel my cheeks burn from embarrassment.

"George, then." He continued to tease me to his twin.

"Please stop." He just laughs at me and continued to dance me away.

The day of the Yule Ball came.

The person I wanted to ask me, is going with someone from Beauxbaton. While my best friend is going with George. 

"Stop fussing over your dress, Y/N." Angelina scolded me while she tries to adjust the back part of my dress.

"Must I attend?" I groaned.

"Yes! Because this might be the last time you'll experience this as a teenager. Now do me a favor and have fun." She finished fixing my dress and place an accessory on my hair.

"You look beautiful."

"I look like a clown." 

"I know you feel bitter because of him but please don't let it ruin your night. Besides going without a date has its perks." She winked at me while I got up and took my white shawl to keep me warm for the night.

"Like what?"

"You can flirt with any guy!"

"Funny. Because you know exactly enough that I can't flirt." I rolled my eyes. "So...you and George?"

"It was a last minute. He just happened to ask me in front of Lee and Fred just to prove to Ron and Harry that they can ask any girl to the dance. We're going as friends." I can't help but smile when Angelina told me what happened.

"Idiots." Both of us giggled the way out of the dorm and went downstairs. 

We saw George patiently waiting for his date, together with Lee. George's eyes were on me instead of Angelina's. I immediately looked away and pretended that didn't happen.

"You look stunning." He complimented her. I went beside Lee who smiled at me.

"Who's the lucky girl?" I asked Lee. The two started walking and we followed.

"Oh, I'm going alone." 

"Why?"

"I'm having trouble who to ask. So, I decided not to come with a date." I immediately understood what he meant.

"How about you? I heard you received a lot of requests and yet you rejected every one of them." Lee gave me his playful smirk as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Piss off, Jordan. Maybe I decided to come alone just like you did." 

"An answer that I'll never believe it's true." I slapped his arm, and we laughed it off as we reached the Great Hall.

Students are already interacting with each other. Giving compliments on how they looked good and the dress robes they were wearing. Some were already dancing while others are eating appetizers and drinking butterbeer.

While Lee keeps talking about asking the girl from Beauxbaton to dance and telling me exactly how he will approach the girl. A tall red-haired caught my gaze. Even though everyone can't tell who is who. I know and I can tell.

He looks handsome in his robes. That long hair he tried not to cut for a new look. But he looks good whether his hair is long or short. I pray not that he will not look in my way. Because I know what he'll do if he does. And I am not yet ready.

"Why don't you go and ask her already? I'm thirsty so I'll go fetch some drinks, okay?" I push my friend towards the girl. He didn't utter another word so I made my way to the tables.

I wasn't feeling to drink anything but water. After I got myself some water, I went further away from the crowd and the dance floor. I hid from my friends because I didn't want them to adjust to me. I want them to have fun without feeling obligated to make me feel better.

A famous band, Weird Sisters, started to take the floor. All of the students laugh and dance the night away. I saw two familiar Gryffindors, who also seems not to enjoy the event.

"And here I thought you went for the evening." I look up to see him lending his hand to me.

"And I thought no one will ever notice that I'm gone." 

"It's already impossible to not notice you, love." He was still waiting for me to take my hand. I was hesitating, scared even. 

"Were... Were you looking for me?" I asked.

"From the moment the ball started. But it seems you were hiding from the crowd." He answered. I took his hand and then led me to the dance floor. 

"I might start to think you fancy me." I joked. He pulled me closer, placing his hands around my waist. His face was close to mine. I could smell his cologne, his breath. I could feel him, his warmth. My heart was racing. 

"What if I am?" He answered in his low voice. His forehead rested on mine, never breaking his gaze on me.

"You're playing pranks on me." 

"Maybe I am." 

"Then stop."

"I can't." 

His eyes kept looking into mine and my lips. He was moving closer as if he was about to kiss me. Maybe he was. When the music stopped playing so did he.  

"I'm sorry." He gently pulled away from me.

"What for?"

"This." I felt sharp in my gut. "Shit. That's not what I meant."

"Clearly, it is. Good night, Fred." I turned my back on him and ran outside the Great Hall. I didn't expect him to follow me through the Courtyard.

"Y/N, please. Listen to me."

"I get it. I know you feel sorry for me. I know that the girl you asked should be the one you held earlier like that. So, why did you even bother to look for me, Fred? I am just your friend, aren't I?" My face was burning in anger but it was also cold because it was snowing. I was stupid for forgetting my coat in the Great Hall because I tried to run away from him.

"You are my friend. And you like my brother. So, you see? I'll be damned if he knew I was about to kiss you." 

"Coward."

"What?"

"George made it clear he didn't like me. But I know it's also wrong to like you after George." Tears started to fall on my cheeks. "Merlin's beard, you are his brother, his twin. What will they think of me once they know I like you when not long ago I was trying to chase your brother?"

"We can't argue again because of a girl. I like you. Hell, I dreamt about holding you close to me, kissing you. Some of it came true, it was enchanting while it lasts." He tried to laugh it off. There was pain in his voice, his eyes were longing for me.

"I think I'm in love with you. You saw and accepted me. Understood me and my messy life. You have been patient with me. But I can't be with you when I know he's starting to fall for you." 

"That's not true."

"It is. You don't have to believe in me. But you will when he tells you. I'm encouraging him to. So, please. Let all your feelings for him fall back in."

"No. You don't get to decide for me. And you don't get to set free all the things so that your brother could get it. You may care for his happiness, but I care for yours." I stomp all my way to him. It was hard to walk wearing my gown and the heavy snow on the ground.

"George had his chance with me. He took that for granted. You don't have to fix things for him. I understand you love your brother, unconditionally. Because I also have a brother that I'm willing to bet my life on. But I know he can take care of himself. He can make his own choices. I guide him but that's just it. His actions, his consequences to face." 

"Y/N..."

"You're a good brother, Fred." I smiled at him.

"She's right, Gred." Fred and I turned to see George walking toward us.

"It turns out this potion worked." He showed us an empty bottle of invisibility potion. 

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't deserve anything at all you have to give everything so that I could have it. You don't have to sacrifice everything." He placed his hand on his brother's shoulder.

George then looked at me. He removed his coat and placed it on my shoulder.

"I guess I liked you a little too late." He placed his hand on the top of my head and when closer to my ear.

"Thank you." He messed up my hair and left the two of us.

Fred took my hand as he removed his brother's blazer. We followed him when Fred threw the coat on him.

"She doesn't need it." He said and he led me somewhere more quiet. I heard George laugh as we disappear in his sight.

We entered an empty classroom. He closed the door behind him and muttered spells on it. I was starting to get nervous. 

"Fred?" 

He turned to look at me. It was like seeing a whole different version of him.

"Sorry. Are you still cold?" He went close to me and held both sides of my arms. Caressing them to make me feel warm.

"A little." My eyes found his. 

We were about to kiss and this one would be it.

His lips found mine. He was gentle but started to get rough when I kissed him back, trying to follow him as if he was leading me. He lifted my weight which I was surprised by because I have a plump body. I don't have a toned and thin body like any other girl. And yet he still managed to lift me up as he placed me on a table. His rough, huge hands roam and grabbed my thighs. A moan escaped from my mouth.

"Don't hold it back in." He whispered between our kisses.

"Someone could hear us." 

"I cast a spell, love. No one can hear you. So be loud as you can be." He bit my lip and then his kisses went down on my neck. I could feel he was trying to hold back leaving me marks.

His body rested between my thighs. I could feel him getting hard every time he pushed his body while he kissed me. He was trying so hard not to undress me so he stayed his hands on my bare thighs.

"Tell me to stop. Tell me to go on. Whatever you want. I'll do it. Tell me." He stopped kissing me. His lips were plump and had lipstick stains. My hand went over to his buttoned shirt and unbuttoned the first one.

"Do not stop." With that, his hand on my thigh went higher to grab my ass. I grabbed his wrist while my other hand tried to mess up his hair.

"God, you're breathtaking." While kissing my neck, he slowly unzipped the back of my dress. I felt the warmth of his hand on my bare back. I wasn't wearing any bra so it was easy for him to access my breasts.

He grabbed my breast while his tongue played with my nipple. I arched back in pleasure, making it easy for him to do what he was doing.

"Fred..."

"Be patient, darling." He pulled away from me and completely removed my dress, leaving me only with my undergarment. He also removed his top as I was still sitting on the table. I was awed to see him topless. Quidditch training did his body justice.

He went over to me once more to kiss me. 

"Open your legs." His voice filled with such dominance that I didn't hesitate to do what I was told. He continued to kiss me, massaging my breasts. Those kisses slowly went down my neck, chest, stomach...and down to my...

"Fred!" 

"Do you want to stop?" He asked. I was thankful for making sure I still want to continue.

"It's just..."

"What is it, love? Tell me." 

"Must you kiss me down there?" I looked away because I just asked a dumb question. I heard him chuckle and placed his hand on my chin to make me look at him.

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded at him and he smiled, kissing my forehead for assurance.

"I'm preparing you so you won't have to feel pain."

He slowly removed my undergarment and kissed my pelvis as he went down to my womanhood. As soon as I felt his lips and tongue on my folds, I arched back. The empty classroom was filled with my moans and his kisses. I was starting to feel like I'm going to explode so I grabbed his hair. He stopped.

"Not yet." He licked his lips and unbuckled his trousers. I saw how huge he was. I was starting to get scared, wondering if it'll fit inside me.

"Do you still want to continue?" He asked one more time.

"Will it hurt?" 

"Maybe. You have to tell me. May I have your permission?"

"Yes."

He slowly entered his length inside me. I winced in pain but knew Fred that was trying to be gentle as much as possible. When the whole of him was already inside me, he kissed my cheeks and tried to whisper sweet nothings. He was slowly thrusting, making sure I was feeling all nothing but pleasure before fasting his pace.

He continued to kiss me as his pace started to go fast. My moans were getting louder as well as his groans. He keeps kissing my neck and shoulders, hugging me ever so tightly. We were both close to our climax. And when he did, he pulled it out.

He kissed my forehead and went over to pick up my clothes. He helped me to clean up before we put our clothes back on.

"Can you walk?" He asked when he saw me struggling to stand straight.

"It's a little sore down there," I tell him. He looked like he was sorry for what he did. I smiled and tiptoed to kiss his cheeks.

"I'll be gentle next time. I promise." He said and then placed his coat on my shoulder. "Warm enough?" He smirked at me.

I knew it was a lie when he told me he'd be gentle. Because he never was. Can't blame a man with this amount of energy.

*****

[buginacup]

Today's Tynk! Update is all text, so you can read it here:

Talking about my experience looking for publishers, and the circumstances surrounding development at the moment.

One full year into the publisher-search gauntlet.

A little over a year ago I entered into some promising conversations with a few publishers about Tynk!

While I initially was hoping to avoid publishers entirely, I was recovering from a year full of disasters and was in the process of paying the 10k+ cut of my campaign funds in taxes. It was becoming increasingly clear that I wasn't going to be able to develop the game full time without some additional financial buoyancy.

Some of the publisher conversations fell by the wayside quickly, but a few remained active for months on months. It's impossible to really communicate the deep time that these conversations operate on, especially if you're not interested in accepting the boilerplate terms (please, never accept the boilerplate terms.) I've been aching to be more transparent about this element of the development process but frankly I haven't been able to while these conversations were happening - it's hard to negotiate one's pay if you're posting about desperately needing money to make your thing. I've been keeping a poker face as best I can while I ride this stuff out.

But, you can tell this update isn't called "Guess Who I Just Signed With ;)" - these conversations all withered to dead ends. I had been relatively optimistic about the success of these negotiations but in the past few months things turned sour. I can't fully know why things didn't work out. Some had alluded to the current harsh winds blowing through the industry, others were more enigmatic with their falloff in interest.

So what do we do?

The more I've worked on Tynk! the more I've loved it, but I won't deny that it is a big undertaking. I'm still interested in finding a publisher to speed things along - but since I'm suddenly back at square one I'm going to need to establish some other avenue of stability while I cast my line and wait for a nibble.

I don't know what my next move is. I'll be chipping away at Tynk! as always, but my current circumstances might require I give it less priority for long enough that I can produce something much smaller that I can actually sell. I've also been considering setting up a Patreon where I occasionally do tutorials on concept design, pixel art, and other visual arts techniques - but I'm unhappy to be courting my audience for cash when you've already been so generous. If I end up launching something like that and you've backed the game, please don't feel obligated to contribute to it! Also, if you have any thoughts or suggestions for what I can do you can email me at VirtualMothVG@gmail.com.

I'll be honest - I'm disheartened, exhausted, and sad. It's obvious that I'll need to spend more time "building an audience" again, but even if I wasn't burnt out by the process of vouching for my own value for a year straight I don't have a clear vision of what that looks like in the internet of 2024. Maybe I'll set up shop on Bluesky or Mastadon as well as resume frequent Twitter posting. I'll be sure to let everyone know once I've planned my presence.

Thanks for your patience as I figure stuff out - Dear Tynk is taking her sweet time, but she'll get here.

[villainofmyownstory]

WIP whenever

I was unexpectedly tagged by the very talented writer @pricegouge to post an updated WIP. Thank you very much! And before you check out these little thing, check out @pricegouge's stories, in particular I recommend Fatted Rabbit - a true masterpiece. <3 Let's just say that the one below is a continuation of Blurry. Unfortunately I've been very busy at work lately and haven't had time to write anything. But hopefully in about two weeks I'll get back to a normal routine and have more free time. I'll tag @ilragnotessitore , @kyletogaz and @hyperactively-me don't feel obliged, no pressure if you don't want to post anything

______________________________________________________________

It is said that falling in love comes easily. That there is such a thing as love at first sight. That soulmates can be met instantly.

Well, your first meeting with John was not what you heard about in stories of friends falling in love. Or in family stories told at your parents' next wedding anniversary.

It was completely different.

When you first met, you didn't seem nice or kind to him at all. But maybe that's what he needed. Maybe he just needed a harsh and rough tone. Maybe also a little rudeness. At that time, everyone felt sorry for him, patted him on the head or walked around him on eggshells.

And you were completely different. Years later, he always said that that spark of anger in your eyes attracted him to you from the very beginning.

Although you found it hard to believe, after all, he was your husband. Well, exactly - he was.

Another day had passed when you were in that house, every morning he asked you the same thing. Moreover, his short-term memory was problematic, but he remembered exactly what his missions were like 20 or 10 years ago.

”But what did you do yesterday Captain?"

“Oh, little dove, how could I forget a doll like you?”

Every day was the same. And you didn't cry about it anymore. Maybe it was better that way. One heart shattered into millions of pieces was enough.

Doctors said not to push, not to remind him of those worst, most difficult moments. That could have made his condition worse.

But he wasn't the same person he used to be.

He wasn't himself.

He wasn't Captain.

And even more than that, he was no longer your John.

He could look better physically, and many doctors, nurses in the hospital, tried to date him. Even the married ones. However, when it came to the story of this accident.

Well. He's stuck with three boys and you.

Despite the pain, you were unable to fully let go. Even though piece by piece you felt your heart being torn into more small, bloody fragments.

However, on the last day, when you are already sitting packed in the living room, waiting for the arrival of the person who will replace you. Someone who will take over the care. His phone rang.

And hearing his cheerful voice, you immediately knew who was calling.

His past. A person with whom he had experienced more seasons than with you. Someone he remembered. And what probably hurt you the most. His previous life came to an end long before. But it always made itself known at the least expected moments. Coming out of a dark corner, biting at ankles, pulling at shirt. Causing dark clouds to appear in your head again.

Because his previous family was still present. Even though he closed that chapter long before you were together, it still bothered you. It made you feel uncomfortable.

Now his laughter echoed in that empty big house, but it wasn't meant for you.

And you lose yourself once again in longing, in the need to be someone again. His.

“Oh, little dove, how could I forget a doll like you?”

And yet, he still didn't remember.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

aaaannd also tag @blackhawkfanatic @who-needs-to-sleep @rafaelacallinybbay bc you ask for part 2 sorry to disappoint you but I need more time, but I'll definitely come back to it someday

[deacblues]

In your opinion, what makes a good spider-variant design? I'm trying to avoid the pitfall of "bunch of normal ass clothes over the suit" I typically see, but also struggling to come up with anything that's clearly a spider-man when you look at it and doesn't confuse with peter parker's spider-man

That's a good question! So good that I'm going to bust out the proper capitalization and everything.

I'll give you a freebie right off the bat, because this is probably going to be a long post: one easy way to distinguish your character from Peter Parker is to draw them with a different body type. That way, even if their costume was similar to Peter's, it would obviously not be him.

Now, before getting into what I think makes a good Spider-Man design, I feel obligated to speak on what makes a good superhero design. Namely: Keep it simple, stupid! The best superhero costumes are pretty easy to draw, probably because they were designed to be drawn a million times by a million different artists. These costumes are simple enough that they can reduced to bands of colour and stay recognizable.

I promise that keeping your design simple will undoubtedly make it better-- or at least more superheroic, because this applies to Spider-Man, too!

Onto making a Spider-Man costume that is recognizably Spider-Man, but clearly not Peter Parker's. Obviously this costume is going to look different than Peter's classic costume, so we could start by figuring out what about that costume we can change. Thankfully, they already stripped Spider-Man down to the essentials in 1984.

Mike Zeck's black costume identifies these necessary elements of Spider-Man's costume:

Those luchador eyes

The front and back spider emblem

Form-fitting tights

The rest of the costume (the segmented colours, the web pattern, etc.) are basically fine for you to ignore or change at your leisure. Okay, maybe not... you could just draw Green Lantern and put a spider on his chest and back, and that probably wouldn't make for a great Spider-Man. But it's a place to start, at least. As long as you're putting serious thought into this costume, though, you should be able to ignore pitfalls like that.

Hey, speaking of thought, I thought I should cover some of those extraneous details Ditko included in his iconic Spider-Man design! Namely the way he chose to segment the reds and blues, he actually put loads of thought into it:

Namely, the high-rise gloves and boots help Peter's costume remain invisible beneath his civvies. I actually think these logistics are important to consider when designing a Spider-Man costume (or really any costume).

Anon mentions the "bunch of normal ass clothes over the suit" trend in spider-design in their ask, which I was happy to see because it means I can talk about something that really bugs me about recent Spider-Man stuff: How does Spider-Man stick to walls through regular shoes? No, seriously? Think about it for a second! When Miles wears Jordans over his Spider-Man costume and tries to stick his feet to a wall, wouldn't his feet just stick to his shoes instead?

Ditko rationalized this by deciding that Spider-Man can stick to walls through thin fabrics, but that rule has basically been forgotten. Despite how I sound, I'm mostly fine with this change (this is a textbook 'rule of cool' case), but these kinds of things are worth thinking about.

In that vein, keep in mind that Spider-Man's superpowers really lend themselves to acrobatics. Your spider-character probably shouldn't be wearing a suit of armour, or something that would greatly restrict their movement or sticking ability. That's why I labelled "Form-fitting tights" as a necessary characteristic of a Spider-Man costume earlier on in this post.

Before I wrap this up, one more thing you can try doing if you're stumped is looking at real life for inspiration. Whether that's going back to the old strongman outfits that gave way to the original superhero costumes, looking at modern day equivalent athletic wear, or even looking at actual fashion (as long as you're not just putting that fashion over the suit), there's bound to be something that could give you ideas.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

opinions on erivris? (canon + potential)

Friendship! This one's a bit weird to answer because I personally feel like canon pretty much shows us what's up with their relationship, but I can still talk about it!

So we know that Vriska initially got Mindfang's journal from following a meteor she saw shortly after leaving the caverns. This journal eventually led her to a ghost ship, where she found the Flourite Octet during a roleplaying campaign. Eridan mentions getting his crosshairs from a ghost ship too, implying that the two found it together while FLARPing. Since Vriska was explicitly led there by the writings of her ancestor, and she always wished to be like Mindfang, and Eridan also believes that his inheritance of the gun was a sign that he was meant to follow in his ancestor's footsteps/finish their unfinished business, it's heavily implied that the two's kismesistude was largely the result of both of them feeling obligated to pick things up where their ancestors left off.

Now, Karkat's speculated before about Vriska's fucked-up psyche from all the murders. I'll probably just post that, because, to be honest, I trust Karkat's opinion:

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE. ... CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. ... CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. ... CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

So basically, what Karkat is saying is that Vriska's a sloppy mess. Because of her personal suite of issues, caused by a demanding and "intense" "sym8iotic" relationship with her lusis and all the child murders she's had to do (many thousands), she functionally doesn't have enough emotional effort to muster up for pretty much anybody.

And this all makes sense, because Vriska's entire suite of problems stems from having to be tough as nails and justifying her actions. No weakness, no kindness, no mercy, no pity. And since she's closing herself off from the rest of her emotions, all she has left is a "dull" hate, insufficient for a proper kismesistude. Frankly, according to Karkat, she just can't hate anybody hard enough.

Now, Vriska and Eridan have a lot of parallels, between their ancestors' shared history and the similar demands made by the lusii in their lives. However, Vriska is far more successful at fitting into the highblood mold; since she's better at closing herself off from feelings of guilt or pity, and - Team Charge debacle nonwithstanding - capable of forming and maintaining friendly relations, if not friendship, with other trolls (Equius, Kanaya).

In contrast, because the two kind of serve as foils for each other, Eridan is really bad at managing his feelings. Between expressing guilt about the kid he just orphaned:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere pretty sad.

And the fact that he's generally known for his "exaggerated emotional theatrics," which generally stem from genuine deep-seated anxieties he holds towards his position in society and the weight of a seemingly inescapable future (check out my Eridan essay for more), I think it's safe to say that he kind of represents the opposite of Vriska's personal suite of issues: where she closes herself off from her feelings too much, and is thus constantly projecting an air of being tough and mean and scary, Eridan expresses his emotions too much, and is thus seen as cringe and overbearing and attention-seeking.

And this equal-but-opposites kind of thing crops up in other facets of their life - Vriska's murders are motivated primarily by self-preservation, as her lusus dying means she dies, too; meanwhile, Eridan's murders carry with them the survival of the entire species, as well as his friends specifically. Vriska's lusus is described as intensely demanding, and their relationship symbiotic (read: codependent); Eridan's is described (by proxy, via Cronus's lusus) as "stern and fatherly," with an implication that he's provides pretty much no emotional support whatsoever (which I expand upon here).

So, if Vriska's relationship problems are caused by the fact that she's so removed from her own feelings that she has no emotional effort to spare, then it stands to reason - and indeed seems to be the case - that Eridan's emotional problems are that he's far too emotional, and thus, going in too hard, and in too messy a direction, no matter who he's attempting to pursue. (Nepeta calls his flushed advances "cr33py and insincere," Kanaya finds his ashen advances "indecent," and Equius expresses feeling uncomfortable with his flirting.)

Indeed, Eridan strikes up flirting astonishingly quickly, as seen when he shares only a few words with Rose before asking if she wants to go pitch with him. There's several factors involved here.

The first is that his emotions run fever-hot at all times, to the point that he has difficulty parsing both their origins and their aims; if you asked him point-blank if he was really in love/hate with whomever he was flirting with, he would answer you with a firm "yes," even if it's obvious to everyone around him that he probably isn't.

The second is that he's desperately lonely, and likely sees a relationship as a form of alleviation from that loneliness, so he's over-eager to get into one. A romantic partner isn't supposed to leave you alone, after all, and we can see from Vriska accidentally ghosting him to mercy kill her lusus that he tends to assume people ignore him on purpose. Because he has anxiety. The boy just craves attention.

And finally, establishing a relationship, especially a pitch one, is tied up in his general problems regarding duty and obligation. Not only is there pressure from the empire to fill both concupiscent quadrants by adulthood, but Dualscar had a kismesis, so Eridan ought to have one, too. We see from the way he treats killing angels as a duty he has to undertake, the same as killing lusii, that he has great difficulty divorcing his current situation from the anxiety that motivates him to complete his work, so it's likely that he's still moving according to this feeling that he "has to" fill these quadrants or else Something Bad Will Happen.

And, with Vriska specifically, here's the thing - there's never a point where he genuinely describes hatred for her. The most we get is him using some colorful slurs to describe her to Kanaya, but he never goes into specifics, like "I hate her for X". So the question that all of this begs is, did Eridan ever hate Vriska at all?

And the answer is probably no. Personally, I don't think their kismesistude was ever really serious, nor did they ever actually hate each other. Both of them, feeling obligated by their bloodlines, entered into the kismesistude on the grounds that it was their duty, an obligation, and at some point, Vriska realized she wasn't really into it, and Eridan got the rejection through his thick, woeful skull. Their interaction in [S] Past Karkat: Wake up. pretty much says it all.

VRISKA: Hey. ERIDAN: hey VRISKA: So........ ERIDAN: wwhats up VRISKA: Nothing. VRISKA: Standing by the old horn pile I see. ERIDAN: yup VRISKA: Yeah........ VRISKA: Ok then. Carry on I guess. ERIDAN: god damn vvris wwhys it still got to be so flippin awwkwward like this come on ERIDAN: wwe used to havve a good thing goin remember our campaigns ERIDAN: that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that VRISKA: It was fun, Eridan. While it lasted. VRISKA: 8ut it ran its course! I don't know what else to tell you. ERIDAN: oh as if im not so ovver it please spare me your disdain mindfang ERIDAN: im wworkin on findin a neww rivvalry wwhichll make ours look like a kiddie game ERIDAN: wwhich oh by the wway IT WWAS VRISKA: If you say so, Dualscar! 8est of luck with that. VRISKA: Too 8ad the luck's all mine now! Hahahaha.

To paraphrase:

-Awkward foot shuffling- ERIDAN: I really enjoyed what we had, when you paid attention to me. Are you sure you don't want to go back to that? VRISKA: I guess it was fun, but I'm not interested, like I've told you a bajillion times already. ERIDAN: Yeah, I know, I just figured I'd ask. ALSO I'M TOTALLY EMOTIONALLY FINE AND NOT SAD AT ALL BECAUSE SADNESS IS WEAKNESS AND I'M NOT WEAK, SEE? I CAN BANTER. I'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS. I'M TOTALLY OVER YOU. VRISKA: Hahaha. Yikes. Good luck, dude. Genuinely no hard feelings on my end.

And there really aren't hard feelings. Before the retcon, Vriska mentions on the ghost pirate ship that she wishes Eridan was there; post-retcon, she's the one who's willing to go to bat for him a little when she and Terezi are discussing who to bring back with their extra kernelsprites. Eridan is doing his usual thing of "well, I've accepted their rejection... but am open to them changing their minds, crazier things have happened" thing with her, but that DOES mean that he has accepted the rejection. (More about the way he handles rejection and flirting here.)

So pitch is toast for them; they've been there, done that, and probably never even hated each other in the first place. On the other quadrants:

The thing with pale is that it's about keeping each other calm. Given that Eridan seems to puff up whenever Vriska is involved - because, even if he never hated her, the fact that she could do the Highblood Thing more naturally than he could probably fuels his general insecurities about his inability to meet that ideal - I don't think it would be successful on that count alone. Even without that, I highly doubt Eridan would be capable of reining Vriska in, nor would he even particularly care to (and vice versa) - the two of them both struggle with empathy for other people.

Flushed is, hmmm... well, the thing is, both of them have been shown having flushed tastes of "nice" - Vriska's weird vascillatory thing with Tavros, and then her fond feelings for John, and Eridan's interest in an idealized version of Feferi. In fact, Karkat outright says he thinks Tavros is broken in such a way that he doesn't feel hatred for anybody, and Eridan says to Feferi that he thinks she's too nice to hate anybody; whether or not that's true, we can extrapolate that the two of them tend to be interested in people who are just really really nice. And unfortunately, the two of them are not particularly nice at all.

So personally, I think the best possible ending for these two is friendship. The incompatible aspects of their personalities - Eridan's desperate need for attention and emotional support, and Vriska's difficulty with providing it - wouldn't be a problem in a casual friendship, and they clearly hold each other in fairly positive regard. For their own sakes, I don't think they should be in too much contact - Eridan is painfully sincere and emotional even at his best, and Vriska is tough and badass even at her best, and I think she'd wind up hurting him, and he'd wind up exhausting her - but as, like, casual buddies that see a movie with each other or do extreme sports or something every so often? Not bad!

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap is my projection baby so... [eczema edition] idk I'll probably make like one other post about this

Ghost knew. He could see it in his eyes, the way he studied him when he thought soap wasn't looking. Maybe he didn't know what, but he knew. And he's pretty sure Ghost knew he knew Ghost knew.

They'd been dating for months now, Ghost was bound to find out at some point. He just hoped, maybe it could have been longer, but realistically it couldn't have been much longer anyways.

To be fair it had also lasted longer than he expected, thanks to military regulations, for once. Pants help, and technically they weren't supposed to be 'bunking' together... not that Price minded (not like Price didn't turn a blind eye to them)

He knew Ghost found it odd that he wasn't the first to open his door, for as open a book as he was. He knew Ghost found it odd that they consistently sleep in Ghost's room when soap had opened his door to him naught but one time for less than an hour. Okay, sleep may have been generous, they nap together, he never stays the night

He did eventually start letting Ghost into his room. But the bed was off limits. Ghost must know something it up at this point, but he never pushes. Soap appreciates that, maybe more than Ghost will ever know

And well, it's not that he doesn't want to spend the night with Ghost, it's just that... it's embarrassing. He's had partners refuse him because of it, he's lost friends over it, they think it's gross, or "contagious", or some other reason that they won't tell him.

And not to mention the 'crumbs' in his bed that he wakes up to most mornings, when dry, dead skin had flaked off in the night and littered his sheets. He doesn't even scratch at night, or he doesn't think so, or... he at least tries not to. It's hard, sometimes he doesn't even realize he's scratching until he feels the slick glide of wetness, and he looks down to see red underneath his fingernails, and his leg's got already drying blood smeared around welling scratches.

It's not that he doesn't want to lay down with the man he so desperately wants to spend the rest of his life with. He just wants a little more time before Ghost sees and pushes him away with whatever lame excuse he can come up with. Maybe he'll say they moved too fast, that he wasn't ready, that he's got an obligation to his duties. It's... I mean that wouldn't be a terrible excuse, he could probably convince himself that that's what it is, if he just ignores the timing.

And sure, maybe it'll last a little longer than usual, that's how ghost is. A problem solver, he doesn't give up. But soap knows, eventually he'll get fed up with it, or he'll look at him different, or start noticing all the little things because of it. And he'll finally have enough and leave. Or soap won't be able to handle how Ghost looks at him, or more accurately at his skin, and he'll leave.

So sue him for just wanting a little more time. It's not like he doesn't know what's going to happen, he just wants to enjoy what he has for a little longer.

[ggomos-maribat]

8 | bearing another mask

Part 8 of Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Dead | Masterlist

TW: a bit of SH, noncon touching

Lila sat in her dimly lit apartment with a souring mood on her face. One hand tapped against the side of her hot mug while the other held a fingernail wedged between her teeth. She stared at the email from her PR and legal team, which promised that they would put out the flames and advised that she kept quiet for the meantime so as to not worsen the situation. But it's not enough, she bitterly thought. No matter how much cleanup they do, those rumors were scars that would forever mar the face of her company.

She let out a slow breath. My sales will be affected, the employees, our suppliers. Why, why does this have to happen now? She switched to another window that showed an article detailing the designs she 'stole' from the deceased girl. I was taking inspiration, she seethed. Aren't those designs better off seeing the light of fame than being stuck in a piece of paper? If Marinette were alive, she should be thanking her.

Sharp trills from her doorbell snapped her out of her stupor. Quickly, she told herself to calm down and let the issues pass—people move on from one intriguing gossip to another in no time anyway. She glided over to her door and opened it up, expecting to see her assistant to greet her.

But instead, a tall blonde man was on the other side of the door.

"Adrien!" The smile froze on her face, albeit also showing slight surprise. "When I said I wanted to meet you, I was expecting to go to your place or something."

"I thought I should come to you instead, so I don't need to see your face ever again." His voice was devoid of any warmth, eyes lacking their usual shine. In fact, it was the coldest Adrien had ever been in front of her, as he clearly didn't bother to hide his disdain.

Lila snorted. "How nice of you. Won't you come in?"

Adrien actually stepped into the place, but only by the living room. Out of obligation, Lila headed into the kitchenette to open up the cupboards and look for something to serve him. "Want anything to drink? Eat?" She hummed. "I think I still have cheesecake cups from an influencer friend of mine . . . or oolong tea?"

"I don't want anything. I'm not planning on staying long."

"You look well." She tilted her head. "We didn't even get to talk much in the reunion. It feels like you were avoiding me."

"I was, in fact."

Lila paused, and looked at him with narrowed eyes. Can't we play pleasantries just for a while, Agreste? "Fine." Her lip curled as she neared him. "You don't want to talk like mature adults, I get it. I'll go straight to the point. Are you behind all those rumors?"

"No," Adrien replied coolly. "If it were me, if I were trying to protect Marinette's designs, don't you think I would've done that a long time ago?" A ghost smile flickered on his lips. "But I do think it's well-deserved for you. Your current silence means you've been put into your place."

"'Put into my place'?" Lila echoed. Maybe it isn't you, or maybe it is and you've just been waiting for the right time to strike. "Those posts are ruining the reputation of my brand! They're baseless rumors trying to make me look bad!"

"How are they baseless when you've clearly tried to rip off Marinette's creations and even designs from small businesses?" Adrien asked.

She scoffed, "Now you're insulting me just because you're back from that hiatus of yours? Look, I've built my company with my own hard work and talent. I get that you're hurt about Marinette's death but I don't deserve this for my petty lies in collège and lycée. They were white lies! I was trying to make friends. Why do you think our class ended up being so close after these years?"

Lila could see the enclosed rage in Adrien's eyes, one with a fire that burned as strong as the one setting off inside her, but he didn't act on it. His tone was calm and unwavering, albeit holding a silent venomous undertone. "You can't call your lies petty if they've hurt someone badly. You didn't make the class so enamored with you—you trapped them and manipulated them that they have no choice but to play along if they didn't want to be dragged to hell with you."

She put herself closer to him, looking him in the eye. Why did Gabriel have to go so soon? Why couldn't you have stayed obedient like you had all those years?

"That's bold coming from you," she whispered, breath touching his skin. He flinched a little. "You and I both know Gabriel would've entrusted his company to me, if you weren't already written out in his will."

She slid a hand up his chest, then to his shoulder, and down his arm. "I don't think the company is even holding up right now. When's the last time it had a show? What was the last design you released—"

"—Don't touch me—"

Her hand cupped his cheek lightly, but when he moved away, she grasped his forearms instead. "If you're smart, you'll realize you can't handle it alone. You need me, you need his protégé. My company can partner up with yours and you'll be back on your feet in no time."

But Adrien pulled away again, more forcefully this time, and glowered at her. "I think it's the other way around—it's you who needs me. If you can get me on your side, you have another celebrity backing you up, or you can divert attention from the scandals with another partnership."

Lila clenched her jaw, clasping her hands behind her back and leaning in to give him a saccharine smile. "Unfortunately, I don't stoop that low. If you don't want us to help each other, that's your loss." She ran a hand through her long hair. "Your father's company will go bankrupt, and Lilia Designs will be the new top fashion brand."

Calm down, she told herself. Although Adrien wasn't an option to be a pawn anymore, it wasn't that big of a deal. She just wanted to feel a little bit of satisfaction if she could put him under her thumb, see him helpless and compliant. But I can't lose my nerve here. If I lash out, I lose. I just need to be the bigger person.

"That's quite confident of you, Lila," Adrien said forebodingly. "We'll see, I suppose."

***

"There's one more thing we want to ask. Felix Fathom—was he related in any way to the case?"

"My cousin? What makes you think so?"

He saw some hint of hesitance on Tim's face. "He had trips back and forth from London to Paris at that time."

"He was helping take care of me after Marinette died while juggling his responsibilities at home." He shrugged. "Technically, I had no family anymore, aside from him and my aunt."

"Is there any way we can talk to him?"

He paused for a few beats, thinking it over. Then he replied: "I can put in a word for you, but I can't guarantee that he'll be available. His schedule's pretty tight nowadays."

He slammed the car door shut as soon as he got onto the seat. That woman's touch was still ghosting on his arms, making his skin crawl. His stomach was a gurgling pit of nausea and his jaw was clenched tight. Was that how Lila acted this whole time?

He kept himself from shivering while starting up the car. It had been a while since he adopted an alter ego, and still, he was yet to fully understand his cousin. Even as he donned Adrien's clothes, and messed up his hair to match the unkempt style, he felt like an impostor in his own skin. Ever since he appeared in the class reunion a couple weeks ago, a voice would nag at him telling him that he was a fake.

Adrien wore many masks, more than what Felix could bear to put on.

And now, Felix finally knew how much Lila had tormented Adrien. Disgusting. She's disgusting. His hands tightened around the steering wheel as he drove. He went through all of that, under the clutches of that vile woman.

But he knew he was the one who chose to be put in that situation. The job is done . . . the recorder is working and the camera was in place. He took a deep breath. Everyone will finally know her true colors.

Everything was slowly coming into fruition, but it wasn't over until Lila met her downfall.

Felix drove around for a few minutes just to make sure no one was tailing him. Then, he sped up and headed for the outskirts of Paris, in an isolated apartment building. He shrugged off his jacket after parking the car, and reached the top floor just as the first drizzle drops of an incoming storm pattered on the windows.

When he opened the door, he found an occupant inside already.

"How was it?"

Felix ran a hand through his hair, idly shutting the door. "Don't give me that look. It went fine."

"It's a live feed, Felix, I saw you." Marinette spun on her chair, following his figure with a disapproving stare. "I saw everything."

Felix tugged at his collar. "It was fine, it was my idea and my decision." Even if I hated her hands on me. "We got the video and it'll smear her reputation if the accusations on her haven't already."

He peeked at the computer where she had just been working, looking to change the subject. "What's that?"

Marinette sighed as she turned back to the screen. "Other testimonies popping up about Lila copying other designs. Turns out it's not only clothes—even accessories and jewelry too."

Figures, he thought. She can never be original. "Well, she got awfully greedy."

"I don't understand her sometimes," the bluenette murmured, "I saw her cry real tears at my funeral, and yet here she is, stealing from the deceased on purpose."

Felix poured himself a glass of water to dispel the sour taste in his tongue. "It's because she thinks she's not doing anything wrong."

He watched as she switched to the second screen, one displaying a high-security website with a sleek modern design. Big letters spelled out the brand: Mira Designs. A few months back, he had argued with her that a new branding could give her away because of the similarity to her former designs. But Marinette had firmly promised that that wouldn't be the case.

And that became the truth: 'Mira's' designs were different, better even, mirroring a rebirth in Marinette's creativity following the new life she'd made for herself. Lila's company paled in comparison, and Mira Designs had gained traction in such a short span of time. Although Felix wasn't an expert in fashion, he could see that Marinette was on her way to become a celebrity in the fashion world. But the appeal point in her company was that the designer herself remained mysteriously anonymous.

"We'll be hitting our quota by the end of the week." Marinette showed him the current numbers. "And you said you didn't believe in my designing abilities."

"I didn't say that." Felix rolled his eyes.

"You implied it." An amused smile tugged at her lips.

"You wouldn't be making these sales without my business expertise."

"Oh, right, yes I'm sorry Mr. Fathom, I must get on my knees and thank you for your help."

Felix snorted and grabbed his things again. He was reaching for the doorknob when Marinette stopped him.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I need some air," he lied.

Of course she wouldn't buy that. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going out to visit Adrien," he finally said truthfully. "Just fix up dinner for yourself. I might come back late." 

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