#maybe if I could get back to that part in the timeline I'd be okay

[kikizoshi]

I'm coming to the horrifying realisation that if Nikolai stops obsessively loving Fyodor, I'll stop obsessively loving Fyodor while I'm working through what that looks like for him. This is not good. I really need the comfort of blindingly loving a comfort character rn. I can't deal with not loving Fyodor as much as I used to and oh God is this what Nikolai has to go through it feels so emtpy-

In short, Nikolai's healing, and I'm getting worse.

[hargreeves-duncan]

Can I request five x reader (takes place in s2) where reader (five’s partner) gets sent to Dallas around a year before five comes and after he does and reader sees him, she immediately tackles him on the spot and gives him many kisses. Maybe reader manages to work at a casino too

a/n: hi, thank you so much for your request! i haven’t written in a while so i'd love to hear your thoughts, enjoy!!

summary: it's been far too long since you've seen your boyfriend - he learns that the affectionate way.

warnings: reader works at a casino but there’s no actual gambling so🤷‍♀️

word count: 1.4k

You had to hand it to yourself, for someone who’d known next to nothing about life in the 1960s, you’d adapted pretty well. In no time at all, you’d managed to land yourself a job as a waitress in a casino. A very good one. It seemed in this timeline, Jack Ruby thought a casino would be a better investment than a night club - and for your part, you couldn’t say that he was wrong, nor could you complain.

The hours were long, but the pay was good enough and the other girls had taken you in as one of their own. You quickly began to excel. Strolling between the tables and flashing smiles was easy, second nature even. You developed the wit and charisma to charm the casino’s patrons without second thought, which meant you got more drinks served, more loyal customers and bigger tips to go along with them. 

Most nights the new life you’d built for yourself was more than enough but sometimes, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but yearn for what had come before - who had come before.

There was always a dull ache in your chest whenever you caught a fleeting glimpse of a lone, brown-haired man at one of the tables. In those moments, you could never stop yourself from believing for a slither of a second that Five had made it and he’d come right back to you.

You’d waited for him in that dingy, old alley for two weeks straight, because you knew that Five would never abandon his family like that. That something must’ve gone wrong, but it was okay because he’d come back and everything would be fine. That was what you told yourself. You were so sure he’d show up and solve everything in an instant, because that was what he always did. And when he hadn’t, it had almost destroyed you.

The first few months were gruelling, taking your first steps in the new world had taken a while. Grieving Five had taken longer. The obvious truth was staring you in the face. A year without contact from him or any of the other Hargreeves siblings? The probability was that you were the only one who had survived.

It was a truth that you were reluctant to admit, even now. One that led you to where you are today, starting yet another night shift, beside the casino’s bar, to serve a particularly rowdy Friday night crowd of patrons.

As you begin to set up, Mary-Anne, one of the other waitresses on shift, sidles up to you. Her honey-blonde curls bouncing around her ears as she leans against the bar. Trying to stifle her laugh, in her southern drawl, she says, “Has he tried talking to you yet?”

You raise an eyebrow at her, tilting your head to the side, “Has who tried talking to me yet?”

Her grin grows wider as she gestures to a table on the far corner of the room, laughing, “That little boy. Haven’t I said a million times that we oughta get tighter on the security in this place?”

She sighs, resting her hands on her hips, “I went over to him - trying to tell him that we don’t allow minors in here - and what’d he do?”

Deciding to humour her, you smile, looking down at her, “I’ve got no idea, tell me.”

She scoffs, shaking her head as she smiles, “He told me that he more than knew his way around place a place like this and that I had nothing to worry about with him. Can you imagine having the nerve like that at his age?”

The thought made you laugh. It reminded you of Five. His haggard temper in the body of his younger self always seemed to shock people in the very same way. You paused. It couldn’t be him, couldn’t it? You must be jumping to conclusions. After all this time, it’d make no sense if he was here now and yet…

“He said that?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing as you glance between the table and Mary-Anne. You squint, trying to see if you could recognise him.

A part of you felt silly and girlish for still holding out hope but this kid’s description was just too similar and besides, you were a teenager again, you were allowed to be lovesick and entirely delusional. It was practically your god-given right.

Mary-Anne nodded, loading her tray up with drinks of all shapes and sizes to cover her half of the room, “He did.”

Your eyes were locked onto the distant table, practically pleading for the kid to just turn around and let your hopes down already. Still, all that greeted you was the back of his head and the green fuzz of the poker table in front of him.

When you didn’t tear your eyes away, Mary-Anne looked you up and down, her baby blue eyes swimming with concern, “You alright there?”

Looking back at her, you sigh, already pent up at the possibility of Five being so close, “Yeah, I just… What did he look like?” You ask tentatively, biting your rouge-tinted, bottom lip between your teeth.

Mary-Anne hums in thought as she loads your tray for you, “Gosh, I don’t know - he had dark hair, was wearing a suit. It had the funniest, little emblem on it.” She says, tapping her chest in place of where it would’ve been.

Your eyes widen in shock and excitement as you process her words, “An umbrella! It was an umbrella, wasn’t it?”

Mary-Anne grins, giggling, “It was… how’d you know that?”

You couldn’t even answer her. You were already starting to tremble and hyperventilate, entirely overcome with nerves and joy and pure, unbridled excitement all at once. A year of being apart and now he was no more than a few strides away. Your smile brightens up like no other.

You slip your tray from over your head and place it down on the bar as you say, “Hey, cover for me, would you? I’ll be two seconds.”

Without waiting for her answer, you dash across the room - a flurry of giddiness bubbling up inside of you the closer you get. You tousle your hair and straighten your uniform, anything to keep your anxious fingers busy and to better yourself for something you’ve waited for for far too long.

Hearing heels coming towards him again, Five sighs in frustration and turns around in his chair, “Lady, I already told you-“

The breath feels like it’s been stolen from your throat as he turns to face you. It’s really, truly him. Your boyfriend is right there in front of you and you’ve never felt more relief than in this moment.

“Y/N.”

You’re not sure if you want to cry or scream or simply just take him in for the first time all over again. As you look over him, his piercing gaze, his dark hair and the freckle on his right cheek that you can’t count the number of times you’ve kissed, your eyes can’t help but be drawn to his lips.

God, how you’ve missed the feeling of them. You barely have time to think about what you’re doing before you’re cupping his face and pressing your lips against his once more, savouring every part of him in a way you’d never thought to before.

Your hands trail over every callous in his skin, memorising him with your fingertips, and as you pull back, Five’s gaze softens like nothing else as he smirks, “Hello, you.”

His hands reach out to cup your face, gazing over you as if he’s not entirely sure that you’re real. After all your time apart, you’re not sure either. You smile, nodding, “It’s me. It’s you. You’re here, you’re really here!”

You cup his face in return and you can’t help but press another kiss to his lips. He smiles fondly as you do. And so you kiss him again… and again on his cheek… and on his freckle… his chin… his forehead. Everywhere your lips can reach, you press them.

After a moment, he laughs weakly and reaches up to pull your hands away from his face and intertwines them with his own fingers instead, “Okay, love.” He says chasteningly, “Let’s calm down there, shall we?”

Your smile grows shyer as you right yourself, “Sorry.” You say, brushing your hair away from your face.

He shakes his head, brushing your hair back for you and then guiding you by the waist to the seat beside him, “No, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. Believe me, I’m just as happy to see you. Really.”

It’s him who initiates the kiss this time. He’s soft, delicate almost, in the way that he kisses you, as if each movement of his lips is a new way of giving all of his love to you and promising that he won’t ever let you out of his sights again.

[astonmartinii]

imgonnagetyouback [guilty as sin part four] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

PR jail did a lot of damage, but unlike SOMEONE else, charles is ready for the apology tour

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

note: the timeline is absolutely all over the place in this and for needs must pretend that the spanish and austrian races are swapped on the calendar!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 1,045,389 others

yourusername: i think your house is haunted, why are they always mad?

view all comments

user239: i have had it with little miss poet over here TELL ME IF MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED OR NOT

user240: i hate that as this generation, them following each other on instagram is a key feature to whether they're still together or not

user241: my grandparents didn't have to go through this 😭

maxverstappen1: spill it sis

user242: WHAT DO YOU KNOW MAX

maxverstappen1: ummm nothing, and if i did i only take cash bribes. this is baby max relating hard to the caption

user242: oh :(

yourusername: oh maxy .... at least we now have good ways to express our emotions!

user243: ma'am he tore lando's wheel off because he can't handle wheel to wheel racing

liked by landonorris

yourusername: it's called hard racing, maybe mclaren should watch some of senna's old races instead of doing their 100th tribute livery xx

landonorris: you know he said you would do this exact thing, you can't handle anyone linked to your brother doing well

yourusername: oh i was perfectly prepared for you to win every race after miami since it was clear that the mclaren is the fastest car on the grid EVEN THOUGH you've publicly sided with them when anyone with a moral backbone (and a hint of PR awareness) would've run for the hills

landonorris: i'd really worry about the fact that the one piece of relevance you had left is no where to be seen, you're not worth defending for him

yourusername: it's insane the way you all have the same pompous attitude about this (i know that's a big word, but maybe you guys could get a couple of quid together to buy a dictionary)

maxverstappen1: also don't try and pretend 1. that you're completely in the right about everything that happened in austria 2. that you weren't scrounging around me (when we were friends i guess) trying to get details on y/n and charles

user244: okay this is wild

user245: i really thought lando would see the light on this

user246: or he realised that he can't race wheel to wheel unless he has the power of carlando friendship so he's burning bridges

oscarpiastri: i miss leo

yourusername: we literally are down the street bozo

oscarpiastri: i am ON MY WAY

user247: she's in monaco ???

user248: has to be, oscar only has a rental place he stays in london for mclaren and y/n has only ever lived in madrid or monaco

user249: there is still hope everyone

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 2,309,677 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: was i out of line? did i say something way too honest?

there are a couple things i need to get off of my chest.

first, a massive apology to my girlfriend. y/n is the love of my life and will be my wife sooner or later and i hate that as a 26-year-old grown man i haven't had the backbone to stand up to ferrari when it comes to her. she's incredibly strong and i hate that she's had to go through this without my public support. i can't take it back now, but if i could i never would've let them take my phone and take control of my social media. they have now been dealt with and no one will stop me declaring my love and support for her.

second, if i hadn't already ran out of patience before, the legal trouble that family have put their own blood through threw me over the edge. they will never, ever deserve that girl and if i have anything to do with it they will never talk to her ever again. i may have been silent online but money talks and we will have vindication soon.

third, a big thank you to max, oscar and ollie for their continued support of y/n. it means so much that the public still saw how loved she is when i couldn't.

four, i am awake and i am angry, these people will learn who they are fucking with. see you soon lecfosi, it'll all be worth it in the end.

view all comments

user254: WAR IS OVER

user255: my heart dropped when i got the post notification but this is the best news possible

user256: am i going to excuse a 26-year-old man for being a pussy? no. but i am going to celebrate him seeing the light and y/n having him back in her corner

yourusername: he was never out of my corner. true there was no public support, but he was there. i would rather have his support behind closed doors where it matters than plastered all over social media

maxverstappen1: you wouldn't believe the lengths these two were going, i became a messenger pigeon when they physically took his phone and the letters were so grossly cute

yourusername: that's literally mail tampering

maxverstappen1: and i'm a human not a pigeon, we can't all get what we want

charles_leclerc: i did i got y/n 😁😁😁

maxverstappen1: ugh welcome back gross instagram comments

user257: so that's what max meant when someone referenced letters that's so cuteeeee

user258: the shout out to max and the extended leclerc family i know that's right

oscarpiastri: anything for my grid mum

olliebearman: actually charles can you get your phone taken away again cause the heist was VERY fun

yourusername: heist???????

charles_leclerc: don't answer that ollie

yourusername: answer it ollie, did you put yourself in harms way ???

charles_leclerc: it was hardly high-stakes

olliebearman: we only stole a phone from silvia's office

yourusername: ollie that's kind of slay but i'm going to need you to delete all of these incriminating comments i don't want you to get in trouble for charles

user259: i know this is just eating up carlos inside seeing how loved she is in his sport

user260: it really does seem that lando is the only one in his corner

sebastianvettel: i am proud of you charles, i know how much ferrari means to you, but never let them take you from those who matter

charles_leclerc: thank you seb, i couldn't have done it without you

yourusername: we love you seb

sebastianvettel: my impromptu not at all prompted trip to maranello definitely wasn't to give you a well-earned slap up the side of the head

user261: no carlos bitching it up in the comments... i've been dreaming of this

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,734,037 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

maxverstappen1: back to being a third-wheel, balance is restored - the united front of hating is BACK BABY

view all comments

user263: i prayed for times like this

user264: i know they didn't break up but i'm so glad y/n and charles are back together they're too pretty not to be in our faces 24/7

yourusername: just paying you back for you and kelly let me crash on the sofa

maxverstappen1: that really wasn't the burden you thought it was, jimmy and sassy loved their interactive cat bed

yourusername: i miss them (don't tell leo)

charles_leclerc: HOW DARE YOU MUM :((((((((

yourusername: okay baby we're not going to do that ...

charles_leclerc: but :( his feelings are hurt

yourusername: i know lewis is cool and will be your new teammate, but i draw the line at pretending to be leo in the instagram comment section

roscoelovescoco: watch urs backs

yourusername: AHAHAHHAHAHA

maxverstappen1: this man is about to turn 40

lewishamilton: you people ever heard of having some whimsy in your life

yourusername: i got sued by my own family 👍

lewishamilton: um yeah, sorry that happened to you

user265: y/n be ticking up the amount of drivers she's gone toe to toe with in instagram comments

charles_leclerc: you can finally eat my ice cream without trying to hide it

maxverstappen1: i think it's against my partnership contracts to publicly say that i like that ice cream

yourusername: don't worry baby we both ate three tubs and cried watching chick flicks while you were locked away in maranello

charles_leclerc: there's a reason a special edition strawberry flavour made its way to you

yourusername: i love you :(

carlossainz55: you might be "united" but you haven't won yet

charles_leclerc: do you ever shut the fuck up?

carlossainz55: oh someone finally found their voice

charles_leclerc: yeah i did which means you don't get to control the narrative anymore and i can call you a bitch

maxverstappen1: also if there was anyway we would lose, at least we are united, i can count how many friends you have left in this sport on one hand and two of them are your dad and your cousin

charles_leclerc: and watch out, clearly you guys aren't afraid to betray family, who knows it could be you next?

user266: i think charles is still being restrained but can we please at least get one day when he can fully go off his rocker

user267: i think we deserve it after all of it

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,764,094 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: she's not only poet barbie but also lawyer barbie - THAT POETRY IS MINE BITCH, SUCK MY DICK AND RUN ME MY MONEY

view all comments

user268: i don't think i've ever been more happy for a stranger before in my life

user269: she deserves this so much i'm actually like over the moon

charles_leclerc: i'm so happy for you baby, i knew it would all be worth it in the end

yourusername: they can't stop my romantic ramblings now

charles_leclerc: i don't know if i want them to hear them all

yourusername: oh no some are for our ears only ;)

oscarpiastri: unfortunately it's NOT all just for your ears

olliebearman: for a millionaire i thought you'd at least buy a house with thick walls

maxverstappen1: you'll get used to it after a while

yourusername: THERE WAS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION ARE YOU GUYS NOT HAPPY FOR ME ???

oscarpiastri: clearly not THAT happy

charles_leclerc: good. that would be entirely inappropriate

user270: finally some normal fucking couple stuff for y/n and charles

user271: their dynamic is so cute going from poetry to FUCKING

user272: i would be the exact same if i looked like either of them

fernandoalo_oficial: spoken like a real poet, i'm happy for you niña

yourusername: thank you pops !! couldn't have done it without you <3

fernandoalo_oficial: dealing with charles having close to a nervous breakdown every weekend was a lot, but i'm glad you have each other

charles_leclerc: thank you nando :)))) (i didn't have a nervous breakdown)

fernandoalo_oficial: you stress ate seven punnets of grapes

charles_leclerc: FERRARI I SWEAR I DIDN'T

charles_leclerc: wait i'm still annoyed at you ignore that

user273: i think charles is the first case of stockholm syndrome to a sports team

yourusername: @carlossainz55 come on i wanna tussle stop being a pussy

carlossainz55: enjoy your victory lap while you can, it won't last for long

yourusername: suck my actual dick, you put me through this i won't let you run away from it

yourusername: massive tip because i'm feeling generous, maybe actually come to court because there's a lot that you could know ...

carlossainz55: why would i waste my time on you?

yourusername: all will reveal itself

user274: oh it's finally on the other foot .... i'm enjoying this

user275: i think y/n and charles are too

f1tea

liked by user276, user277 and 21,056 others

tagged: carlossainz55

f1tea: sources close to us say that there is serious worry in the sainz camp after the courts decided they were unlawful in their actions against y/n sainz. the financial standings of the sainz family were already somewhat dyer before they took the youngest sainz' income but it's said to be even worse now they've had to pay damages.

in terms of f1, several of the teams that were interested in sainz were put off by the way he and his family were treating his sister but have fully backed out now the financial struggles of the sainzs has become clear.

this comes after a number of sponsors have ended their partnerships with the spaniard. where do you think he'll end up?

view all comments

user278: at the job centre hopefully

user279: i think this is what the kids call poetic justice

user280: the way charles just picked up a new sponsor... we love to see it!

user281: all the sponsors flocking to charles is so fucking real

user282: life comes at you so fucking fast

user283: in the words of his hero: KARMA!

user284: especially since fernando congratulated y/n on her win in court 😭

user285: bro can't even afford the tractor seat at williams i am HOWLING

user286: or at sauber, boy oh boy this is some great great content for a hater like me

user287: or HAAS and they fucking took nikita mazepin

user288: the next race can't come fast enough i wanna see how this guy spins it in the media

user289: for once in his life i can't see him spinning this is any way that makes him look good

user290: god i hope y/n is in the paddock as well

user291: oh gosh i need her diana revenge dress moment

user292: i don't care if that's your brother i need you to STUNT ON HIM

user293: other than y/n and charles, i know oscar is cheering at this news

user294: bro saw his grid parents get back together and his biggest opp be declared broke and jobless

user295: i really don't understand how y/n slutting round the paddock has been praised so much when her hopping from driver to driver has cost her brother his dream

user296: cope.

user297: also y/n has only ever been with charles DESPITE carlos and her father trying to pimp her out for favours

usr298: now we know this ^^ i don't understand why carlos was so annoyed that she was finally doing what they always wanted

user299: it was because it didn't serve him.

user300: he was probably happy y/n was with charles until he realised it was for you know an ACTUAL relationship rather than psychological teammate warfare

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 104,889 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

carlossainz55: it was never 'true love' if all you ever wanted was to bag a trophy husband and never work again

view all commments

user302: posting a picture of charles' crash and tagging him is nasty business

user303: would've been iconic if i wasn't him

user304: also that caption just really isn't the read he thought it was

user305: i grew up watching posh spice and cheryl cole in the stands at england games like obvs people want to be with athletes

user306: also this guy pretending he doesn't have a revolving door of models who are just there to be wags

yourusername: yes? and.

yourusername: at least wag isn't my only job. you better hope that rebecca stays booked honey

carlossainz55: don't bring rebecca into this she has nothing to do with any of this

yourusername: awwww did you already cheat? that does track...

yourusername: also you've been slandering my boyfriend all over the internet and ON THIS POST so shut the fuck up i'll bring up who i want to bring up

carlossainz55: get the fighting words out, you might need them when charles questions why you just happened to fall into his lap

yourusername: you've stolen every last penny from me, sued me and tried to turn everyone i care about against me - and guess what? YOU'RE STILL STUPID

carlossainz55: i'm not stupid you're a gold digging slut and you WILL BE FOUND OUT

yourusername: i actually think i could play pinball with the one remaining brain cell in your head

user307: i know this is serious drama but YES SASSY Y/N IS UNLEASHED FROM HER LAWYER'S GRASPS

user308: someone TAP CHARLES IN

user309: please you're out of the ferrari jail NOW IS THE TIME

charles_leclerc: you think i'm going to be offended that the most beautiful girl in the world has always wanted to be with me?

yourusername: what if i told you i'm a mastermind?

charles_leclerc: i would say i'm impressed and FLATTERED

yourusername: and now you're mine :P

charles_leclerc: and i'm glad

charles_leclerc: and i am of the serious belief that even if you didn't seek me out, we would've found each other regardless

yourusername: you made me believe in soulmates

maxverstappen1: @carlossainz55 this post really didn't do what you thought it would lOL

oscarpiastri: bro is falling at every hurdle

carlossainz55: yeah, yeah fuck you two. i'll see you on the track

maxverstappen1: if you can get close enough :P

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,783,088 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1

yourusername: siri play hoes mad

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user310: this girl is a bestselling poet and this is how she's captioning her instagram posts

user311: babe we're like months into a family war that has had whole ass court cases we don't need eloquent captions

oscarpiastri: where's that one tiktok audio

yourusername: that audio has gone platinum in our house, i think i've saved every edit with it and charles

charles_leclerc: they do slap every time

maxverstappen1: HOES MAD HOES MAD HOES MAD

yourusername: someone is enjoying this

maxverstappen1: i've been praying on these people's downfall since i was 17 i've got a fancy bottle of wine i've been waiting to open

yourusername: we've really been through the wars with these people

charles_leclerc: and ME

maxverstappen1: well here's to them being BROKE AS FUCK LOL

yourusername: cheers!

charles_leclerc: 🥂

user312: this has been some kind of crazy turn around

user313: considering we all thought they had broken up not long ago we have come SO far

charles_leclerc: i'd have the whole world mad at me if it kept you by my side

yourusername: i love you so much

user314: tbf i'd say a good 80% of people were mad at you when you were being ferrari's bitch

charles_leclerc: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY

sebastianvettel: if it's any consolation, he was very torn up about it

yourusername: i know what happened charles, don't worry. i know you're dedicated to your craft and have people you want to win for

charles_leclerc: but i'm also dedicated to you

yourusername: we're in it together, forever now

yourusername: although this does mean ferrari have to deal with me now

user314: ugh they're so precious

carlossainz55: i'll have the last laugh don't you worry. you may have won the battle but you have not won the war.

user315: does this guy ever Shut the FUCK UP

user316: i'm bored. can't you just let them be happy

carlossainz55: no.

fin.

note: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but here she is, can't tell whether i love it or hate it - probably because i've been looking at it so long xx i guess p5 will be out hopefully some time soon and i hope my tagging works

[nickfowlerrr]

so inviting, i almost jump in.

pairing: neighbor!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: fluff. pining. idiots in love? fake dating...kinda lol. a lil bit of angst but not too much.

words: 4.5k

notes: happy new year! i tried so hard to finish this last night but just couldn’t do it lol. this is part of the ciwywt universe, but i think it can be read as a standalone, too.

also - coherent, consistent timelines? sorry, don’t know her. idk where this fits in their story but it does bc i say it does. 😌 i really love these two and i hope you enjoy this lil fic as much as i do. thank you in advance for reading. as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome, and so appreciated! 💞

"Ow,” you wince, “damn it," you grumble to yourself as you set your eyeliner pencil down, blinking rapidly to quell the tears you could feel about to form in your eye. You huff and turn to look down at the cause of your distraction, your phone ringing loudly as it lays on the counter. You see the caller and preemptively roll your eyes. Not this again.

You swipe to answer the call and his voice immediately floats into your ear, giving you no time to even utter a 'hello'.

"Before you say anything-"

"No," you state firmly, annoyance clear in your tone as you stop him before he can begin.

"Doll,"

"Bucky, I said no," you cut him off again. "It's a no. No. No, no, no. Not gonna happen," you continue despite his pathetic huff sounding on the other end.

"I know you said no..." he says before trailing off for a second, "but, doll, I really need you."

Damn him. You sigh heavily into the phone, putting a hand to your forehead to stop the headache you know is coming. He's really trying to pull on your heart strings... unfortunately for him, it's not gonna work.

"You don't need me, Bucky. You're gonna be fine. They're your friends, if you just tell them what you told me, they'll understand. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's not," he huffs, stopping himself, and you can almost hear him shake his head, "Will you at least try to come by?"

You know you won't, but you don't want to upset him any more than he already is.

"Yeah, I'll try. And stop worrying so much. You'll have a good time, I know it," you smile, the thought of him and his friends enjoying their New Year's Eve tugging at your lips.

"Yeah," he responds, sounding a little unsure. "Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

"Mhm...maybe," you say.

"Doll," he groans, causing an unbidden laugh to slip from you at his dramatics.

"I said I'd try, no promises! But I do have to go now, so, talk later. Bye," you finish, hanging up on him before he can try and talk you into making a promise you have no intention of keeping.

You sigh heavily as you set your phone back down, returning to your almost finished makeup. Just because you aren't going out doesn't mean you can't look good.

You're still so surprised he asked you to be his fake date to his New Year's Eve party. Both because you were surprised he was hosting a party to begin with, and because he needed a fake date.

But that was just it, he didn't need a fake date. He wanted to get his friends off his back with the constant set ups and double dates they'd plan for him. What he really needed to do was tell them the truth, just like he told you. He didn't want to date, at least not right now. He said his mind was on other things. That was understandable, so you weren't sure why he couldn't just tell them that...

A part of you feels bad for not helping Bucky out, but the other part of you knows you'd feel like a total outsider at a small party being attended by the avengers.

Like, the real-life superhero team, The Avengers.

That was an immediate 'no thank you'.

You were content to spend the night alone; just you, your grapes, and some apple cider to cheers to the new year.

--

The television plays on, another episode of a show you've seen ten times before just starting up, as a knock sounds at your door.

You furrow a brow as your head shoots in its direction. It only takes a second for you to come to the conclusion that it must be Bucky. You set your drink down and stand from where you were sitting cozily on your couch.

You fix your dress, and for no reason at all, check yourself in the mirror before you near the door, making sure your makeup isn't smudged and your hair still looks nice as you do.

There's another knock as you get to it and you open your door with a bit of attitude at his impatience.

"Bucky, how many times-" you're stopped short as you quickly see that the man before you is, in fact, not Bucky. "Oh, uhm, sorry, can I help you?" you ask.

"Yeah," the man laughs, "I'm here for the party. This is the right apartment, isn't it? Bucky Barnes?" he asks, looking at you quizically.

"No," you answer, "no, wrong apartment. He's just," again you're cut off, but this time by the door right down the hall opening, none other than Bucky peeking out to look down at you and - oh my god wait...is this - this is - holy shit you're talking to Captain America. Your eyes round as you look from Bucky back over to the man before you. "Oh, gosh, you, you're,"

"Sam Wilson," he smiles brightly at you, extending a hand. You shake hands as he continues, "and you must be-"

He is cut off from saying your name as it comes out of Bucky's mouth, almost frantically. You look from Sam back over to Bucky, your eyes still wide.

"I know you're still getting ready, but would you come here for just a second," he nods at you. You look once more between Sam and Bucky, your eyes narrowing as they land back on your own personal pain in the ass. What the hell is he up to... You and Sam go to walk over to him but Bucky speaks again. "Not you, Sam. You stay there," he says in a fuss. Sam puts his hands up, a look of confusion clear on his face at Bucky's demand.

You continue toward him and as soon as you're close enough to touch, he pulls you to him, turning you both so Sam can't see what you're saying. It's a hushed conversation, a whispered argument, really.

"You have to come over."

"No, I really don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You're staying."

"No, I'm not."

"You're staying. I'm not letting you leave," he says, trying to corral you into his apartment as you swipe at him, a back and forth of swats ensuing between the two of you.

"Bucky!" you finally whisper yell, stopping the battle as you ball your fists, almost stomping like a toddler in your annoyance. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I lied."

"Huh? To me? About what?"

"To all of you. But mostly them. I told them you'd be here. Because I thought you would be. But then you said you weren't coming, but I couldn't tell them that or they'd think I was just making up another lie about you..."

"Another lie?"

"I...may have... told my friends that we're dating and have been for a few weeks," he murmurs under his breath, so quiet you can barely hear his confession.

"You what?" you balk, trying your hardest to squash the stupid butterflies that are fluttering around in your stomach now at the idea of not only dating Bucky, but of being someone he brings up in conversation to other people.

"Alright, love birds, cute as this is, are one of you gonna invite me in or am I just supposed to stand here awkwardly in your hallway all night?" Sam interjects, walking to you both as you turn your heads to look at him.

Bucky turns entirely, moving closer to you, slipping his arm behind your back and resting his hand on your hip, "Yeah, welcome in. Steve said he'd be here with beer in a few minutes," Bucky says, an annoyed edge to his voice as he lets Sam through the door. Sam raises a brow at you and you force a smile. As soon as he's inside, Bucky snaps the door shut behind him, leaving you both in the hallway still.

"What the hell," Sam says, loud enough for you to hear through the door.

"Look, it started as a lie to get out of a date, but then I just kept using you an excuse to not go to things I didn't wanna go to. And ya know, more than half the time I wasn't really lying because I was with you," he tries to excuse himself.

"Are you insane?" you ask him plainly.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need you to be here tonight, please," he begs, his puppy eyes starting to get to you.

"You had only asked me to be your fake date."

"Yeah, once you said yes, I was gonna work the girlfriend thing in," he smiles wryly, rubbing the back of his neck in his anxiousness.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

You roll your eyes before acquiescing, "Fine. But you've gotta come clean tomorrow. You can't start the new year with secrets, it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"Deal," he smiles his real smile this time. Then his eyes drift down to your outfit and you warm, like you always do, under his attention. "You look good," he says softly, sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks," you accept quickly. You will not let him fluster you so easily. Not tonight.

--

More of Bucky's friends arrive soon after you get back from your apartment, your bag of grapes and bottle of unopened cider in hand. Bucky introduces you to each of them and you're now unsurprised that they know your name and exactly who you are. And you, for your part, are in awe of each and every one of them. Though you like to think you don't make it obvious.

And it's surprising how normal it all feels.

You for sure thought you'd be a nervous wreck around these people, but, especially with Bucky by your side, you've never felt so calm and comfortable, and at a party of all places. Though you suppose it helps that you're already so comfortable around his apartment. Still, it's nice. They're nice. And fun!

Card games are played, karaoke sung, and stories told as you all snack and chat the evening away.

You're all laughing as Sam talks about how everyone was sure Bucky had been making you up like a summer camp girlfriend after the fifth time he claimed you were sick or out of town so you couldn't show up to the events they had invited you to. Of course, you had no idea about any of them, but you do know where you were each and every night they brought up.

You were here.

With Bucky.

So, he wasn't completely lying. You smile and look to Bucky who stands right next to you. Your eyes instantly meet his, a smile of his own already gracing his face. You look back down, bashful despite yourself.

The night has passed so quickly and it's already nearing midnight. You're about to go get your grapes ready, but Steve's voice stops you, catching your attention.

"Ya know, I can't even remember the last time I've seen you look so happy, Buck," Steve smiles as he looks at the two of you. "I'm really happy for you, both of you,” he adds. “It's obvious how much you two care about each other. It's good to see."

You don't know what to say, and you're too scared to look at Bucky. You just force another smile, feeling a bit sad more than anything. Because this isn't real. Whether you'd like it to be or not. It isn't. You have to remind yourself of that.

Bucky's hand squeezing your waist, and the feeling of his admiring gaze on you as he pulls you closer to his side, doesn't help. It just makes that pit in your stomach grow deeper.

This is easy for him because it means nothing.

This is killing you because it means everything. It’s everything you never give yourself permission to dream about. Everything you want. And it’s what you know isn’t for you. It couldn’t be.

Just a few more minutes, you breathe, and then you'll go back to normal. No dating, just friends...just friends? Whatever it is you are to him...

You're lost in thought as the conversation continues around you, Bucky's hand never leaving you and his gaze never wavering. Even as he engages in the conversation, his attention is solely on you.

"Oo, countdown is going!"

The yell pulls you out of your head as your eyes snap to the television. What the hell! How did you just lose eight minutes? Damn Bucky always taking up your thoughts and distracting you.

You don't have the time to get to the fridge for your grapes as the kitchen is crowded, flutes of cider and champagne being passed out among the group.

You tsk, oh well. At least you have on your red underwear.

As the count gets lower, Bucky gets closer, and you mindlessly lean back into him as you watch the live broadcast from Time Square. Ten seconds hits and you all count along, Bucky's other arm comes around as he holds you from behind. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Bucky turns you around in his arms, catching you off guard as you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

Two.

He leans in, and you're frozen. His nose brushes yours, as his lips brush against your own. Oh.

One.

"Happy New Year," he whispers against you, cheers and exclamations of the same sentiment shared all around the living room, between everyone else.

"Happy New Year," you whisper back breathily before you unthinkingly press closer to him.

His lips meet yours as he leans in ever closer and kisses you, so softly. Your eyes flutter closed as you return his affection, kissing back harder than you intend before you break away. It feels like magic, it feels like home. And you want nothing more than to do it again. To lose yourself in him so delightfully…

You remember yourself then and almost shy away completely before Bucky takes your face in his hand, turning you back to him. You lock eyes once more and you feel like you can't breathe at what you see in his. You don't have time to think on it before his eyes flick down to your lips and then he's kissing you again. His lips press harder against yours, still moving just as gently but somehow it feels much more intimate. Sincere. Real.

You deepen the kiss and then suddenly the whooping and claps around you both bring you back to reality.

You pull away, taking a sobering breath, blinking away the haze of longing as Bucky's delicate touch remains on your cheek. You gingerly reach to take his hand, slowly pulling it off of you. You hold it for a second, squeezing his hand before letting it drop.

The celebration continues all around but you need to get yourself together. Alone.

"'M gonna use the bathroom," you whisper to him, knowing he can hear you even through the din.

You exchange 'Happy New Year' exclamations with everyone you pass on your way to his bathroom and bid goodnight to the people already getting ready to head home. A lot of them have early mornings at the tower, so you get it.

There are only a few people in the living room with Bucky as you look back before you escape to the bathroom, taking your time to decompress.

Sam, Steve, and Nat were talking with him, but his eyes were on you when you looked at them.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew you'd get caught up in the fantasy. And somehow, he still got you to do it. You curse yourself in the mirror and then notice your smudged lipstick.

The thought of your lipstick staining Bucky's lips right out there has you in a flurry of emotions...

He kissed you. Twice. That actually happened. But did it really mean anything?

Your heart twists as you refuse to believe it could have. You just need to... God, you don't know what you need. All you know is right now you can't stop thinking about Bucky's hands on you. You can't stop thinking of how soft and supple his lips are. And how damn good of a kisser he is.

You look at yourself once more in the mirror.

Fucking hell. What are you gonna do? You sigh, eyes squeezing shut before you shake your head at yourself.

You turn back to the door, opening it right when someone's knock hits.

You're somehow surprised, and yet not at all, to see Bucky staring back at you as you pull it open wider.

"Hey," you say, raising a brow and shoving every fuzzy feeling threatening to strangle you back down.

"Hey," he started. "Everyone left. I just, uh. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm good," you nod.

"I'm sorry. About kissing you."

"Oh," you utter - sounding more dejected than you wanted to. "Yeah, no. Don't, don't even worry about it." You muster a shamefully see through smile.

His stare is near invasive as he really looks at you, analyzing you. He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it, instead giving you a tight lipped smile in return.

He nods, then looks to the floor, "Okay," he accepts.

You nibble your lip, crossing your arms as he still stands in front of you.

He notices and moves out of your way, offering a small sorry and a huff of a laugh.

You walk back out into the living room as he follows.

"Wow, this place is a mess,” you breathe a laugh, hoping to keep the subject change.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll be having fun tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" you question. "Are you busy now?"

"... I guess not."

"Then grab a garbage bag, Barnes. We've got work to do."

He laughs, "Oh, yeah? You're gonna stay and help me clean up?"

"What are friends for if not clean up?"

He smiles at you as his mind replays his conversation with Sam, Steve and Nat just minutes ago.

He told them the truth about you, and their reaction wasn't what he expected, but definitely what he needed.

"Wait, sorry, you're not dating her?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm confused, too," Sam added. "You guys act more like a couple than most couples I know."

"And she's cute, you seem perfect together."

"Well, we're not. Not, not perfect together," he amended, "I mean we're just not together. We're friends. Nothing more."

"Looks like a hell of a lot more, if you ask me..."

"So," Steve finally chimed in, "you spend all that time together, you talk about her constantly, and I saw the way you kissed her at midnight, Buck, but you're telling us it's nothing more than friendship?"

Bucky didn't know what to say. But he knew Steve knew what he was really feeling. He knew exactly what he wasn't saying.

"Do you want it to be more?" he asked. "Because from an outsider's perspective, it seems like you have everything with her but the label."

"I..." Bucky looked around, making sure you hadn't snuck back out of the bathroom yet, "yeah. I do want it to be more. She's, fuckin' perfect," he breathed a laugh as his thoughts, as they always do, strayed back to you. That familiar warmth that fills his chest anytime you're near, or hell, anytime he so much as thinks your name, returned to him. And suddenly his thoughts went back to the softness of your cheek as he held you close earlier. How pliant and perfectly your lips moved against his as you kissed him back. Not once, but twice.

Even still, he thinks back to when he told you why he was so reluctant to go on the dates his friends kept setting up for him. It was a lie when he said it was because he didn't want to date right now... well, partially. He really didn't want to date around. And his mind was focus on other things.

Other things, of course, being you.

When you nodded and told him you got it, that you felt the same way, his heart felt like it deflated by ten.

He was getting ready to finally make his move and ask you out, for real this time. But how could he do that now? He didn't want to be another guy you had to swat away, he couldn't be another one of your rejections. And you gave out plenty, always to his selfish delight if he was being honest. In fact, he can't remember the last time you actually went out on a date. It's been months...

Most of your nights are spent together. Just the two of you. But if you weren't wanting to date anyone right now, and he asked you, he couldn't be sure what you'd say. More importantly, where it'd leave you.

Bucky wasn't stupid, he wasn't blind, and he wasn't deaf. He had every confirmation he could ever want that you liked him the same way he liked you. But he didn't want to chase you away by pressuring a relationship, especially if that's not what you want.

"It's clear she likes you, too, ya know," Steve pointed out what he thought was the obvious.

"I know, I just. I don't wanna push her away by moving too fast. I don't think she's looking to date anybody right now,"

"If you don't ask, you'll never know."

He knew they were right. He needed to just bite the bullet and ask you outright. And he would.

But as he watches you glide around his kitchen, so at home, putting things back in their rightful places and throwing away the random garbage left behind, he thinks maybe not tonight… He doesn’t want to ask a question that might make you leave. But then again…what if it makes you stay?

"Chop chop, supersoldier," you admonish him as he continues to watch, staring dreamily at you. Your back is to him so you can't see his face, but you can feel the weight of his gaze.

Bucky follows your lead, tossing away the empty cups and putting away the leftover food and drinks while you wipe down the counter.

It really wasn't that much of a mess, but you're glad to get it cleaned now, so you won't have to worry about it tomorrow.

Wait...why would you be worried about it tomorrow? This isn't your apartment. God, you really are always over here, aren't you...

You turn to Bucky as he ties off the bag of trash.

You just look at him for a minute. Admiring him from mere feet away while he does the same to you. It's quiet between the two of you, but you can feel the charged silence as it brims with words unsaid.

You know what you want to do right now. But you do what you think you should instead.

"I guess I'll head out, then."

"Oh," he breathes.

"Oh?"

"I just, uh,” he shakes his head, "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" you prod, now entirely curious.

Bucky's bright eyes flash back up to yours and you see him search for what to say instead of saying what was on his mind.

"Your grapes," he remembers, turning to the fridge to get them for you, "you didn't eat them."

"Oh, yeah, well, too late now," you laugh softly.

"What's your resolution?" he asks.

"That's not how the grapes work, Bucky."

"Come on," he goads. "What's your resolution? I wanna know."

"Hmm. Well, good question," you think for a moment, watching him as he rinses off a bunch, then pulls two grapes from their stems. You mindlessly purse your lips as you think. "I want to be less scared," you start quietly, eyes meeting his intent gaze, when he looks back at you, "More confident," you add with a little nod.

"You, more confident?" he asks. "You're one of the most confident people I know. And I know Thor," he adds, getting the laugh he was hoping for from you.

You shrug, "Fake it til you make it." You give a soft, almost sad smile. It physically hurts him to see that hint of sadness in your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to take it away. He hands you one of the two grapes and you raise a brow as you take it.

"And you?"

Your heart rate kicks up as he steps close, invading your space and standing right before you.

"I…would like to communicate better."

You huff a laugh, tittering, "Yeah, that's a good one."

"Let's both start right now," he says, holding up his grape.

"Okay. Let's," you hold up your own grape, bumping it into Bucky's as if you were toasting before you both pop your own grape into your mouth, stupid smiles on both of your faces.

As you finish, Bucky takes a step closer, surprising you as you look up to him. A bit of deja vu coming over you as you swallow hard. You wait a long breath for him to say something. And then he finally does.

"So. This is me, trying to communicate better: I'm not really sorry that I kissed you. Either time. And if I'm being entirely honest, I'd really like to kiss you again right now."

You're stunned silent and you think you can hear your blood rushing in your ears as you blink up at him.

It takes you a moment before you think you can respond, but Bucky speaks again before you do.

"But I'm not going to do that. Because I want to do this right. In fact, I've been wanting to do this right for months."

"Bucky?" you murmur quietly.

"Doll, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me to dinner and a movie this Friday?" he asks sincerely.

Your mouth is dry and you have to force yourself to swallow hard again so you can speak. "We always do dinner and movies on Fridays," you point out.

"I mean as a date," he clarifies, holding himself to his resolution.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. Well, that's not true. You know what you want to say. You know what you want to do. You want to say yes, and you want to lean into him again and indulge him in one more kiss, because you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. But that terrified voice in the back of your head is currently telling you to make a run for home as fast as you can. You want to fight the fear, really you do.

Bucky is keeping his resolution already, you're just not sure if you can do the same.

"Uhm," you drone awkwardly.

He laughs that nervous laugh you rarely get to hear...the one you love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks with a hopeful wince.

It takes you a second and then your mouth moves before your brain does as you respond to him.

You stand there, a bit shocked at your own answer, and not entirely sure where to go from here...

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (2/?)

Part summary: Leigh goes on a double date with Jules. You reach a tipping point with Leigh's relentless hostility towards you.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5,072 | Warnings/Tags: None for now... smut eventually, enemies to lovers A/N: So... this turned into more than a two-shot. But it will still be a mini-series. It's also kinda slow burn for a mini series (lol). Also, this isn't canon compliant at all. Meaning, I took a lot of liberties and added stuff to Leigh and Matt's relationship, and it doesn't follow the timeline of the show. With that said, enjoy!

Masterlist | Part I | Next Part

-

The vet bills hit Leigh's bank account way harder than she’s willing to admit. 

She knew taking care of pets could get pricey, but she thought that was just for those on their last leg, like Matt's dog, Rogue. Facing those steep costs made her think twice about turning down Drew's offer a while back to bring back her advice column. So, she calls him up as soon as she pays up a quarter of the charges on her credit card for Visitor's medical expenses.

Drew answers on the second ring. “Hey Leigh, what's up?”

Leigh doesn’t beat around the bush. She never has to with her best friend. “Can we meet at the cafe? I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure. Be there in 20,” Drew replies right away.

The coffee shop they frequent is a small local business that specializes in cold brews. Leigh’s favorite thing about it is not the coffee though, but its interior: mismatched chairs, bookshelves lining the wall, and the temperature that’s always just right. Leigh arrives first, securing their favorite table near the window. Drew walks in a few minutes later, coffee already in hand, and greets her with a warm smile.

“Okay, spill. What's going on?” Drew asks as he takes a seat.

“I've been thinking... about the column. I was wrong to turn it down. I want back in.”

The look of utter surprise on his face tells Leigh this was the last thing he expected. She senses his response won't be a straightforward yes.

“I'd be thrilled to have you back, Leigh, I really would—”

“But?” Leigh cuts in. She doesn’t need to hear a bullshit ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse. She wishes Drew would just be as direct with her as she is with him.

Drew lets out a sigh. Under different circumstances, saying no to Leigh would be as easy as declining an upsell from a McDonald's cashier. However, ever since Leigh became a widow, rejecting her feels significantly harder, even though he's well aware that Leigh values honesty over pity.

“But the thing is, the new writer’s really hitting it off with our audience. She's had a string of articles go viral lately.”

Leigh doesn’t look at all impressed by that. “Yeah, I heard.”

Personally, Drew’s not a fan of the new writer's style, and honestly, he still prefers Leigh. It would just be a hard sell if he brought this up to management. As the saying goes: if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

“Look, I still think you have a unique voice. You know I’d still take advice from you over the new girl.”

Leigh scoffs a little at that, shaking her head. Drew rolls his eyes; it’s typical of Leigh to never know how to take a compliment. He continues, “How would you feel about guest writing? Maybe for the first couple of weeks, we could find a way to incorporate your insights into a series or a special feature.”

It’s not what she hoped for, but she recognizes the olive branch for what it is.

And she’ll take it. 

“I... yeah, I think that could work, Drew. I've got a ton of new ideas, and this... this could be great,” Leigh says. “Uhm, thanks.”

Drew grins. “I thought you'd like that. Let's kick off with a couple of guest pieces, see how it goes.”

Leigh half-heartedly returns his enthusiasm just as her order of cheeseburger and affogato are served.

“Anything new with you?” Drew asks, his voice taking on that tone he reserves for the really good gossip. Knowing Drew's helping her out, Leigh figures a little life update wouldn't hurt as a form of thanks.

That update is about you. And the moment Leigh spills the beans, Drew's face lights up like a Christmas tree. But his excitement fizzles out just as fast when he figures out Leigh's got nothing scandalous to say. All she mentions is how you might've missed the mark by not doing your homework on the guy you were seeing.

“What’s your plan then?”

“Seems like everyone’s asking me that,” Leigh says flatly.

“You took your stray to her place, right? So, there must be some sort of plan. I mean, you could've gone to any other vet if you wanted to avoid her.”

“Yeah, but her clinic's location is so convenient, and I didn't want to shrink my world just for her.”

Drew hums in response. Leigh admits she’s been unusually passive with you. Normally, she'd confront issues head-on, but even almost half a year later, she still hasn’t fully processed Matt’s death, let alone his cheating. She's been trying a new tactic, almost as if by ignoring her problems, she hopes they'll fade away on their own. She seems to be betting on the idea that if she pretends long enough, maybe one day she'll wake up and find those issues have lost their grip on her. 

“I don’t know Leigh, the whole thing’s weird,” Drew says, scrunching up his face a bit.

“It’s not like I’m trying to make a friend or enemy out of her,” Leigh replies with a shrug. “I’m just using her services as a doctor, and she’s getting paid for it. That’s all there is to it.”

“Oh, so that’s why you need your old job back. She’s draining your purse,” he says, smirking as he adds, “Bitch.”

“You don’t have to call her that,” Leigh chides, though the corner of her mouth twitches in amusement. Deep down, she understands the twisted satisfaction in disliking someone without having to justify it.

“The funniest thing that can happen is if you two actually end up being friends,” Drew quips, picking up an accidental curly from Leigh’s plate.

Leigh finds that scenario hard to imagine, almost impossible. She doesn’t think she can be friends with someone Matt liked more than her.

-

Leigh is hunched over her laptop, with sheets of paper and colorful markers spread out on the table, meticulously designing missing dog posters for Visitor.

Jules, leaning against the doorframe with a mug of coffee in hand, watches Leigh for a moment before speaking up. “You know, you should've done that the second you decided to take Visitor in.”

Leigh doesn't look up from her screen. “His leg needed to be taken care of first,” she reasons.

Jules rolls her eyes, pushing off from the doorframe to come closer. “And? How did it go at the clinic?”

Leigh pauses, then lets out an exaggerated sigh. “I already told you about the tests Visitor had to go through. They said he’ll be fine.”

“I mean with the doctor, not the patient,” Jules clarifies with a smirk.

There's a beat of silence before Leigh quips, “No cat fights happened, I promise,” her eyes going back to her laptop.

“Any chance she knocked off a bit of the bill?” Jules asks, moving to sit behind Leigh to take a peek of her work. It looks like an 8th grader’s art project, but she bites back any criticisms.

“Nope.”

“Told you she’s a bitch,” Jules murmurs under her breath.

“It's not like anyone's doing charity work these days, especially not in this economy,” Leigh argues weakly.

“Yeah, right. Like she needs your money, Leigh. Veterinarians are loaded, if you didn’t know.”

“If you say so.”

Jules decides to drop the subject, and Leigh can hear her shuffling and thinking behind her.  

“Hey, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. Don't get mad, okay?”

“Prefacing like that? I'm bracing myself to be utterly scandalized,” Leigh says before smiling and sneaking a glance at Jules.

“Great, you’re cracking jokes again. That’s a good sign,” Jules deadpans but a second later, she’s smiling too. 

“Ask away,” Leigh prods.

Jules takes a deep breath, and then:

“Do you think you’re ready to meet someone new?”

Leigh suddenly stops, her fingers just hanging there above the keyboard, unsure of what to do next. What’s the protocol here? If three months is usually the cooling period after a break-up before one can start dating other people, then what's the deal when it's about a husband who's not only passed away but was also cheating? How does that work?

Before Leigh can come up with an answer, she realizes she's already saying no.

Jules groans. “Come on, it's just a double date. It'll be fun. You and me and—”

“I’m really not in the mood to meet other people, Jules.”

Jules cuts in, laying it on thick. “Leigh, seriously, when was the last time you went out and had a little fun? You're practically turning into a recluse. I won't stand by and watch my sister morph into the neighborhood's infamous dog lady.”

“Dog lady? Really?”

“I'm just saying, it's either try something new or start knitting dog sweaters for fun. Your choice.”

Jules can be a real pest sometimes; it’s an endearing quality except when they seem ready to go for each other's throats.

“You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?” Leigh rests her chin on her hand, seriously considering the invitation for a second. “I don’t know how to meet people, Jules. I stopped meeting people when I met Matt. He was my entire world, you know?”

Jules softens, throwing her arms around Leigh’s shoulders. “I know. And I wouldn't push if I didn't think it could be good for you. Plus, I promise, if it's awful, I'll personally escort you out and we can ditch them for ice cream. How's that?”

Leigh senses that Jules won't give up until she gets a yes, so she decides to concede just this time and get it over with.

“Okay, okay, you win. I'll go on your stupid double date. But if this ends in disaster, you're buying me the biggest tub of ice cream you can find,” Leigh says, shrugging her sister off her.

Jules pumps her fist in victory. “Deal! You won't regret this, Leigh. And who knows? It might actually be fun.”

-

The double date goes surprisingly smoothly, except for the occasional touches coming from her date. To be fair, they are typical for a date and are executed with respect. However, for some reason, Leigh finds herself unusually conscious of every physical contact, making her anxious to move things along and call it a night.

As they step out of the restaurant, Leigh mentally scrambles to remember her date's name. She's bracing for the goodbyes, ready to retreat into the comfort of her room, when Tommy, Jules' girlfriend, suggests they cap the night off at a new bar. It turns out Leigh's date has an investment in the place. He jumps at the suggestion, clearly eager to flaunt this detail, perhaps hoping to impress her.

He does earn a sincere, “That’s cool,” from Leigh, just before she slides into the backseat of his car. Tommy quickly calls dibs on the front seat, leaving the siblings sitting next to each other in the back.

The new bar clearly wants to be the town’s next hotspot, but it seems to be trying too hard. It's got this odd vibe where you're not sure if you should be dancing or just looking around, wondering what it really wants you to do. But Leigh agreed to this, and she won’t embarrass Jules by ditching. 

“Can I get you something to drink?”

She stiffens a bit as he draws near, the heat of Patrick's breath—Jules had reminded her of his name during the car ride—making her uncomfortably aware of how close he is. She shifts, trying to put a polite distance between them without seeming too obvious about it. “Um, just a gin and tonic, please,” she says.

She practically sighs in relief as Patrick heads off to order, her eyes darting around the bar. The 90s R&B background gets her head bopping, but all she’s thinking about is her couch and an episode of Parks and Recreation waiting for her at home. Jules and Tommy are in their own little world, giggling and looking all cozy. Leigh never thought she could feel like a third wheel on a double date.

Patrick is taking his time, and when Leigh cranes her neck to peer over the bar, she catches him striking up a conversation with a blonde. Her eyes narrow into slits as she watches, both of them obviously charmed by the other as Patrick laughs at something she said, enjoying himself in a way he hadn’t all night. 

Leigh feels a prick of irritation. Sure, she hasn’t been giving him the time of his life, but they’re still on a date. Isn’t there some unwritten rule about not flirting with other people when you're supposed to be with someone?

She waits a bit longer, hoping Patrick would remember he was supposed to be getting her a drink and come back. However, he hasn't moved an inch from his spot and is even passing Leigh's drink to the woman as they keep chatting. Leigh’s mind races. She knows she isn’t into Patrick, has been giving him nothing but the bare minimum, yet she can't shake off the feeling of being slighted. It's not like she wanted his undivided attention, but this... this just seems rude.

She catches Jules looking at her, a questioning eyebrow raised. Leigh just shrugs, not sure how to explain the jumble of feelings she's experiencing without sounding petty or jealous. 

When Patrick finally comes back with her drink, the mood has already turned sour for Leigh. She musters a polite smile, accepts the gin and tonic with a thank you, but then heads to the bar on her own without saying anything more. At this point, she's indifferent to what Patrick, Tommy, or Jules might think or say of her; she's finished playing nice for the day. 

Leigh slams her gin and tonic like it's water, the sting barely registering. She signals for another without missing a beat and strangers start sliding over drinks with cheeky grins. She toasts to nothing, to no one, letting the conversations slip away before they can get even one word out.

By drink number six—or was it seven?—everything's spinning, laughter too loud, lights too bright. Leigh’s clinging to the bar for dear life when she thinks she sees you. But as quickly as the figure appears, it's lost again, leaving her questioning her ability to handle her alcohol. Back in her college days, Leigh could hold her liquor like a champ, thanks to endless nights of partying. But now, staring down at her drink, she realizes she might've overestimated her current tolerance. The alcohol hits harder than she remembers, making her head swim more than she'd like to admit. It's been a while since she's gone this hard, and her body isn't shy about reminding her.

The worst part of it though is why, of all the faces her mind could conjure up, it's choosing yours.

Just as she tries to shake off the bizarre vision, your face appears again, this time on the dance floor, writhing in a sea of thick, sweating bodies. You're dancing closely with a man, and it’s—

It’s Matt. 

Leigh blinks rapidly, attempting to dispel the hallucination because it's impossible; Matt is dead—this can't be real. 

But the image of you and Matt refuses to go away. She continues to see the way your grind against him, the way you caress his face as you pull it further into your neck. Anger surges through her, hot and uncontrollable, and before she knows it, her last shot of tequila crashes to the floor. Before the bartender or anyone else can even figure out what's happening, Leigh storms through the crowd, pushing her way to what she believes is you and her husband, and shoves the couple hard. The moment she does it, the fog in her brain finally clears.

She saw wrong. They’re just a random couple, looking as shocked as she feels mortified.

Humiliated and more drunk than she's willing to admit, Leigh doesn't stick around to apologize. Tears start to well up as she pushes through the crowd, dodging empty faces while Jules' calls fade into the background. She shoves through the last of the mob, bursts through the doors into the night, and freedom feels just a breath away. But that breath catches, twists into a violent churn in her gut, and she can barely stagger a few desperate steps away from the entrance before her knees are on the cold pavement, and she’s spilling out onto the ground in front of her. A few groans of disgusts from the people around her doesn’t register as she succumbs to the consequences of her indulgence. Shortly after, she remembers why she’s cut back on alcohol, apart from the fact that Matt abhors it, turns him off more than anything.

“Leigh?”

The voice is familiar, even if she’s heard it only a few times. Her head's spinning as she looks up, the chilly air slapping her face after the stuffiness of the club. She blinks, trying to clear the blur of tears and the aftereffects of one too many drinks, squinting at the figure stepping out from under the streetlights.

Your face, more clearly now under the lamp post is kind of sobering her up a bit.

So, were you actually there in the club, or is Leigh so haunted by thoughts of you and Matt—thoughts she's tried so hard to ignore and bury—that she managed to conjure you as a way to finally confront her true feelings about the entire situation? It’s always the battles with herself she never wins.

“Hey, you alright?” you ask, lowering yourself to get a better look at her but keeping back a bit—just enough space for her to catch her breath or in case she needs to throw up again.

Leigh doesn't respond, doesn't even seem to see you're there. You rummage through your crossbody bag, pulling out some wet wipes and offering them to her. She still doesn't look up, but grabs what you’re offering with a little force. 

She proceeds to wipe her mouth and then her entire face as you continue talking, words tumbling out in a nervous stream.

“I saw you back there, in the club. I wasn't sure if I should come up to you, you know, with everything that's happened... with me being... well, the person I am in all of this,” you explain softly. “And then I saw what happened, how upset you got. Sorry I followed you here, I…I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Leigh abruptly gets to her feet, and you instinctively step back, giving her more room than probably needed.

“Why?” Leigh fires at you, her tone so icy it almost makes you regret coming after her. You're taken aback, eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. 

Why what?

“Why do you even care?” she clarifies, eyeing you as if you're the densest person on the planet.

You grasp for something, anything that sounds like you're not just here out of guilt. “Anyone who knows you would be worried,” you say before you can think twice about what it could mean.

Leigh's laugh is sharp, cutting. “You don't know me,” she throws back.

“Yeah, I don’t,” you mumble to yourself. You wish you did, so you could fix this.

Leigh’s anger doesn’t let up. “You know what I think? You're playing the good Samaritan to scrub off your guilt. But not knowing Matt was married? That's on you. I bet you never asked too many questions because you wanted him to be Mr. Perfect—single, ready to mingle, the dream guy.”

Opening your mouth to argue, you find yourself at a loss. Leigh’s not entirely wrong. With Matt, you were in a bubble, caught up in the thrill of meeting someone who seemed so right, so honest. You clung to his every word, wanting to believe in this image of him you'd built up. 

The truth is, you never wanted to meet Leigh Shaw; you wanted to believe Matt's only fault was how he ended things with you, by disappearing.

But before you can admit to all of that, Leigh is already storming off. You think about chasing after her, but she spins around so fast at your footsteps, shooting you a threatening look and a low, “Stop following me,” that nails you to the ground. 

You keep staring at the spot she disappeared from, long after she's gone, wondering why Matt felt the need to find love elsewhere.

-

Leigh goes home, but not to an empty house. The second she opens the door, Visitor bounds into her arms, full of wiggles and wet nose kisses. Her mom's off somewhere, doing who knows what—Leigh's stopped trying to figure out where or why. Meanwhile, her phone buzzes with a string of voicemails from Jules, but Leigh's not in the mood to dive into those just yet. She decides they can wait till morning, along with the other missed calls and unread messages from strangers, asking for more information on Visitor.

For now, she peels off her socks and pants, leaving them scattered carelessly up the stairs before passing out on her bed.

-

Visitor’s follow-up check-up rolls around way too quickly for comfort. The moment Leigh steps through the clinic door with the dog in tow, you can practically cut the tension with a knife. Leigh's trying to keep it together, but her attempts at civility are imbued with a coldness that can’t be ignored.

With only a small ‘good morning’ from you and a nod from Leigh, you start the consultation, knowing you’d be doing her a favor if you just get right to it.

“How's Visitor been eating?” you ask as you work your stethoscope. 

“He eats fine,” Leigh drawls.

You nod, jotting down a note before moving on, “And his activity levels? Any changes there?”

Leigh’s response comes laced with sarcasm. 

“Oh, he's just peachy. Running marathons every morning.”

You clear your throat, trying to rein in your mounting annoyance at her childish behavior. “I'm just trying to get a complete picture,” you say.

But Leigh's not having any of it. Her comments grow sharper, her patience thinning, and it's clear she's more interested in taking jabs at you than discussing her dog's health.

Her last sarcastic remark has you drawing the line. “Leigh, you can be upset with me all you want outside of this clinic, but I won't tolerate disrespect while I'm trying to do my job,” you say evenly. “You're welcome to find another vet if you can't keep this professional. I have every right to refuse service if this continues. It's not what I want, but I'm not about to let you treat me any less professionally.”

Leigh goes quiet, yet she keeps her eyes locked on yours, decidedly not backing down. Then, after a tense moment, she mutters a single word, “Sorry.” It's not much, but it's something, and you decide to take it and move on.

“You mentioned something about a blood sample?” Leigh says, steering the conversation back to the reason she came in, and you're all for following her lead on this.

“Yeah, we need to check if his platelets are up and his infections are down, see if the meds are doing their job,” you explain. Then, veering a bit from standard procedure, you add, “Since this is a follow-up visit, I'm going to cut the lab test price in half for you.”

The discount evidently lifts her mood. It's not a perfect truce, but it's enough to get through the examination without any more barbs.

A while later, you're back with Visitor's CBC results in hand. “The infection's gone down, but it's still borderline,” you report, showing her the numbers. “We'll need to keep him on the medication for another week. And I'm adding some multivitamins and a specific diet to his regimen.” 

You scribble down the details, then note at the bottom of the pad about the discount—not just for the lab test, but for the prescriptions too.

Leigh takes the paper, scanning the details before her eyes finally meet yours. “Thank you,” she says, her voice softer than it's been.

“You’re welcome,” you reply with a smile before going back to your notebook, looking deep in thought. 

Leigh feels like you're back to your usual, friendly self. Yet she thinks she prefers the more raw, unfiltered version of you. The version that called her out earlier. These days, she's starving for that kind of honesty. Because having her as your client can’t be all that pleasurable. She's aware of how challenging she's been, and the straightforwardness somehow makes her feel more understood, more seen.

She wishes people would stop seeing her as Leigh: the one with the dead husband.

Then, out of nowhere, she asks, “When did you start working here?”

It's a seemingly insignificant question, yet coming from Leigh, it prompts you to close your notebook and focus entirely on her.

“I—”

“Because a year ago, I remember meeting a different doctor,” Leigh adds, absentmindedly running her fingers through Visitor’s coarse hair as he sleeps on her lap.

“You’ve been here before?”

It’s a painful memory—one that still sometimes brings tears to her eyes whenever it crosses her mind. Back then, the clinic bore a different name, and she and Matt had come together to say goodbye to Rogue.

“I have when it was still called Palm Coast,” she says.

You nod, understanding the context now. “Yeah, that was before my time. I bought this clinic on a whim after spending a few years practicing in Dubai.”

While most would latch onto the tidbit about your intriguing career history, Leigh zeros in on something else entirely, asking directly, “When did Matt start coming here?”

You shift uncomfortably at her question, and Leigh immediately regrets pushing too hard. She’s about to backtrack when you halt her apologies. “It’s okay. I’m open to talking about it, just not here,” you suggest. “How about over coffee?”

Leigh hesitates, then says, “Okay, let me just text my boss that I won't be able to lead the yoga class this morning.”

“It doesn’t have to be now. Tomorrow works,” you say.

Realizing her assumption, Leigh’s cheeks color slightly. “What time?”

Now it's your turn to feel a bit awkward. “Would 7 work? It's the only time I have before the clinic opens.”

“In the morning?” Leigh says again, making sure she heard you right.

You nod sheepishly in reply. 

“Or we could maybe—”

“No, it's okay,” Leigh interrupts quickly. She's usually up before sunrise anyway; the only change would be trimming her morning run a bit. And for a one-time chat to get the answers she's after, she figures she can make such a small sacrifice.

–

“Are you sure you want to return Visitor to his real family?”

True to form, it's Jules who breaks the two-day-long sibling spat. It's usually her who tries to smooth things over with an apology, even on days when Leigh isn't exactly the easiest person to deal with. Her therapist keeps telling her not to always be the one to buckle, especially when she's the one who's been hurt, that Leigh should be the one to step up and make things right for a change. 

But here she is, reaching out first, just like always—because waiting for Leigh to make the first move feels like waiting for snow in July.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me again?” Leigh says as if she's gearing up for another round of conflict rather than welcoming peace.

Jules ignores her and continues, “Have you actually tried to find Visitor's owners, or have you just kinda... kept him because it feels good to have him around?”

“So what if it feels good to have a dog who loves you and is loyal to you?”

Jules shakes her head in a condescending manner, which only serves to irritate Leigh further. As soon as her popcorn is done, she heads out of the kitchen, flops onto the couch, flips on the TV, and kicks her feet up on the coffee table. Jules follows her, opting to stand next to the TV, poised to yank the plug out if necessary.

“Leigh, you do understand that taking care of a dog isn't something to take lightly, right?” Jules starts, but she breaks off when the dog in question trots over, tail wagging, trying to coax Jules into picking him up.

Leigh acts like she hasn't heard a word, her eyes glued to the TV screen.

“I thought you'd learned something from what happened with Rogue—”

That hits a nerve. Leigh's quick to fire back, “Oh, and jumping into a serious relationship is super responsible, right? Especially when staying sober is part of the deal.”

Right after the words leave her mouth, Leigh regrets them deeply. She's painfully aware of Jules' long battle with alcoholism, a struggle that began in college and required more than a couple of tries before Jules could claim any sort of victory over her addiction. Leigh knows it's still a sore subject for Jules, still fighting her demons, making her comment unfairly harsh.

Though the retaliation didn’t come out of nowhere. Leigh caught Jules at the club, discreetly sipping a drink she swore off, and chose to keep quiet then to avoid causing a scene in front of Tommy. She had plans to bring it up later, but then her own slip-up with drinking, bailing on her date, and the fallout with Jules spiraled into one of their nastiest rows in a long while.

“Jules, I’m sorr—”

“Just save it, Leigh.”

Jules heads for the door, her hand clenched tight, barely hanging onto her emotions. Leigh feels the situation slipping further downhill, and she can't just stand back and watch things crumble even more. She's about to chase after Jules when the doorbell rings, stopping both of them cold.

But Jules doesn’t even bother with the door; instead, she veers off, storming upstairs with that telltale slam of her bedroom door echoing down. Leigh sighs, stuck in the aftermath, while Visitor starts barking at the door. Dragging her feet, Leigh heads over to open it, half-expecting another problem but hoping for a distraction.

Leigh definitely wasn't expecting Danny, and seeing him there, she gets the sinking feeling that this storm swirling around her isn’t going to blow over just yet.

[infinitywrites]

I Didn't Expect You ~ Conrad Fisher

(Part 2) (Masterlist)

gif credit @henryofwales

synopsis: Y/N never expected it to be the summer that everything changed. Conrad, Belly and Steven were all dealing with the consequences of recent break ups while Jeremiah's wasn't acting like himself. Susannah was undergoing treatment that provided unpredictable health results and kept her loved ones on the edge of tragedy. Had they drained the well of the magic of Cousin's beach? Or could something new fulfil it again?

warnings: multichapter slow burn, warnings will update with every chapter, timeline is post SEASON 2 with changes, Susannah is sick, Belly is heartbroken, Jere is bitter, Conrad is struggling, everyone swears, Laurel/Cleveland, Belly and YN briefly critique their bodies but the focus is ultimately positive

word count: 2,275

___________________________________________

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it too soon to do this yet?

'Cause I know that it's delicate

Isn't it, isn't it, isn't it?

This summer there was no one to greet us when we pulled up at the beach house. It was quiet but the beauty of Cousin's Beach and the house itself was as overwhelming on first glance as it had always been. Maybe the sky seemed filled with a few more clouds, darker even without someone to remind the boys that the Conklin-Parks had arrived. Either way, Steven and Belly didn't seem to notice and were already grabbing their bags and bickering about who had their house key handy.

"Do you think we're the first ones here?" I asked as I walked up slowly to the property to look for signs of life.

Belly was by your side in moments, "No, Jere said he was picking up Rosie's for lunch. He should be here somewhere. They were supposed to get here a little early to make sure Susannah was all set up with…everything." I just nodded and watched her walk to the door with the key. It wasn't surprising that she didn't mention Conrad.

Belly had already vented her nerves about coming at all after her breakup with Conrad at Prom. I didn't blame her and assured her I'd be right by her side no matter what happened or what was said. Belly and Conrad grew up together just like the rest of us and if no one else would make sure a failed romance wasn't going to ruin that forever, I definitely was. They hadn't talked since and I promised I'd help her fix it and I would. Conrad would be reasonable about it whether he liked it or not. I was always a fixer, the Mom friend if you will, and there was no reason this could be fixed.

Last summer when I saw it brewing between them I couldn't help but worry. Of course, I wanted Belly to have what she'd always wanted but could Conrad really return her feelings of adoration and worship the same way? Apparently yes, for the six months they were together at least. But it had been three months since the breakup and I knew I had to do everything I could to refocus the group into supporting each other. There had been too much drifting and it broke my heart. Despite life changes causing difficulty in the planning of it all, everyone had agreed to come back to Cousin's for the 4th at Susannah's request so that was a great start. She would have insisted on the whole summer if she'd had the energy but it was time to accept that some things would just never be the same again. We were barely children anymore and the summers were going to change.

"Y/N! Come on, Jere's got apple cinnamon for you!" Steven called out to me from the open front door.

As soon as I entered the house, the smell washed over me, my shoulders sagging in relief and the comfort of finally being here and smellling that smell brought me. The greetings were quieter when I walked into the familiar kitchen full of people I loved most, just like pulling up to the house but that was okay too. Jeremiah squeezed me just as tight as he always had even if he didn't shout my name and lift me off your feet. This wasn't even the whole gang of people who'd been through hell and back the last year but we were all here. All coming back for Susannah's favourite holiday.

The pressure I put on this last summer before I moved halfway across the country to start my freshman year at Stanford wasn't fair to anyone, especially myself but it felt like the end of an era. With Susannah's health changing everyday, I wasn't sure if it could ever be the same again. Was the magic gone? And if so, could it ever come back again? The test would be when the house was full and the party planning was in full force. Susannah would put us all to work and everything would feel normal again even just for a little while.

"What the--Ohmigod!" I spun around and used my hands to block the cold water drops spraying all over me. "Fuck you too, cretin," I said glaring at the shit-eating grin standing in black surfing gear that awaited me.

Conrad has snuck up behind me during small talk and shook his shaggy soaked hair into the back of my exposed neck. "Always a pleasure Y/N, " he finally said, nodding without looking in my direction again and focusing on greeting the other new arrivals.

I was happy to see a short but sweet acknowledgement between him and Belly and she didn't even look like she wanted to die after so maybe this wouldn't be as hard as I thought. Laurel showed up last, announcing her presence at the door and warning everyone not to embarrass her in front of Cleveland. It was a surprise but a happy one and I knew instantly that Susannah was going to lose her mind in the best way. Conrad mentioned that she would sleep until dinner around 6pm so don't be late.

The boys made plans that didn't interest me or Belly and just as I thought they were leaving I saw Jeremiah pause and look at the guys with intent. Belly was always quick on the uptake and tried to protest but the tradition held strong. The boys celebrated a successful throw that had poor Belly flailing in the air so long it felt like slo mo and this time none of them fell for her tricks and got pulled into the pool after her. Not even me, though I should have when I felt bad for a moment, held my hand out and walked towards the edge of the pool in her direction. Conrad was quicker and scooped me right up off my feet from behind, just in time to escape Belly's trap as I gasped at the realization.

"You wouldn't! I didn't throw you in!"

"Yeah, and you didn't try stop them either!" But even in her feigned anger she was chuckling as she swam to the ladder.

After the shock left my body, I joined the boys in hysterical laughter. Conrad was still holding me tight but he must have lost his balance as I crashed to the ground on top of him. He was still in a fit, only uttering the occasional "ow" which spurred on more giggles that infected everyone else. I got myself together before he did and had to pry his surprisingly strong, wiry arms from my waist to be able to stand again.

"My god, you're like a world's tallest spider monkey." I was trying to give him shit but but the sight of him giggling on the ground made him look like a sweet toddler.

That helped sober him a little, "You love it...besides I saved your ass. You should be thinking up ways to thank me." I only caught his smirk after brushing the grass off my clothes but it was enough to stop me in my tracks and stare him down.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that." This was ridiculous and everyone was listening to the two of us– but no, we'd always done this. This was the root of the relationship I'd always had with the oldest Fisher brother. He riled me up and I gave him shit. Simple. "Let me know if you have any special requests," I said over my shoulder as I headed back inside.

"Good idea! I'll text you!" He was yelling now, the idiot, but it was still making the boys laugh so the final word would be Conrad's this time. I could have sworn I'd heard him mumble about how uptight I could be and I was rolling my eyes as I met Belly in the hallway with an exasperated smile that she shared.

Conrad Fisher and I had never been the closest of the group, always seeming to piss each other off in one way or another as kids. Susannah had said that our personalities clashed and that it was a great challenge to overcome as we matured. Anyone would say that both of us were still working on the maturely overcoming it part. It's not like I thought he was a bad guy; he was my friend no matter what, someone who knew me better than most without even trying. If I set a hard boundary he was the first to listen, respect it and make sure everyone else did too while also being the one to lay into me if I screwed up somehow or rib me to death for acting stupid. It was infuriating at worst and addictive at best so I never judged Belly's undying admiration. He was always the leader of the group as the oldest and that came with a certain power that I later realized was also responsibility. Sometimes he knew what I needed even before I did. It was eerie, that sixth sense he had. He was actually pretty damn good at taking care of everyone so sometimes I even let him take care of me too. If Conrad was the fearless leader then Belly was the baby and while he made it look easy taking care of everyone else, I always knew how to take extra special care of her.

The two of you headed upstairs to the room you shared. It originally had a double bed for Belly but Susannah quickly changed it to two singles side by side the second summer you visited. Belly and I liked our tradition of unpacking first; it felt like being at our second home where everything had a place.

"So...how was it?"

I could hear Belly rolling her eyes before she even spoke. "Okay, it could have been worse. I thought he wouldn't even speak to me."

"Why wouldn't he speak to you?"

"Because the last thing he said to me was that he could never give me what I wanted and that I deserved better." She was frustrated as she said it and I couldn't help but sigh.

"I mean, there are worse things to say when you're breaking up with someone..."

"Y/N!"

"What? I'm sorry! It doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be hurt, I'm just saying at least he wasn't a jerk about it." I shrugged and put my pile of new pajamas in the bottom drawer.

Belly paused and turned to look at me, "He said he was sorry it happened that night but he didn't want to be angry at us anymore. Not even me, Y/N, but us."

I got up and went to stroke her arm in a soothing rhythm, "It wasn't fair how it happened but you said you could feel it coming."

Her eyes start to shine with unshed tears, "I thought it was Susannah...I didn't think it could just be me..." When her pretty brown eyes closed the tears ran down her cheeks but she didn't break down, she didn't sob. She just took a deep, steadying breath as her body shifted underneath my hand.

"Hey, it wasn't you, it was him. Look at you, it couldn't have been you, you're stunning!" I shook her shoulders as her lips turned up at the corners. "Absolute perfection! Come here and see." I guided Belly towards the full length mirror on the corner of the room and planted her right in front of it. "Now, I know you thought Conrad was Prince Charming and you'd live happily ever after but fairytales aren't real. But this volleyball bod is." I smacked her butt to make my point and snap her out of her gloomy daze.

"Oh! You're so ridiculous they need to invent a new word–" Hearing her giggle was always a joy because Belly giggled without a hint of shame.

"I'm not finished! I know a breakup can kill your confidence a bit and I need you to look at yourself and really see what you're bringing to the table this hot girl summer."

Even through a big smile she shook her head, "God no, you are so embarrassing."

"I mean, come on, tight ass already acknowledged, newish boobs that are perfectly perky as ever and the prettiest smile on the face of the planet! You can have any boy you want, Isabel Conklin!"

Belly's smile fell a bit as and twisted and turned in the mirror. "You don't think my shoulders are kinda...broad?"

I hung my head as the patience exited my body with a slump. "You're actually insane. Some of us have real problems like cellulite on our thighs and an ass that doesn't fit in most jeans."

"Oh, shut up! Steven told me Frankie and those guys call you 'the ass that won't quit'."

"Belly, I'm not sure that's a compliment." I didn't hate the nickname as long as they didn't say it to my face but I still wasn't sure it meant good things.

"You're delulu, Y/N. Okay, we gotta stop. You're right. Hot girl summer with me and my cousin in Cousin's!" She grabbed my hand and started shifting her feet like we were about to have an impromptu dance party.

I covered my face with my hands and stifled a giggle at the silly phrase, "I fucking hate when you start that shit..." And just like I expected, as my chuckle became a belly laugh, my baby cousin turned on the Bluetooth speaker in my room and we danced out all the pent up heartbreak, nerves, grief and leftover stress and sent it back home where it belonged.

___________________________________________

Author's note: I promise there is so much Conrad and romance coming up even if it wasn't much in this chapter! I hope you stick with me if you saw the potential. So much of this story was inspired by fics I've read in the last few weeks and this is my thank you! Reply with comments and let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist. If you'd like to ask me about any upcoming chapter warnings you wanna be warned of ahead of time (angst? 18+ smut?) then come visit my blog with any questions and I'll be happy to answer!

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 thoughts.

Below, spoilers.

Okay. Lord gonna need some strength to get through this coherently.

Basics first:

The Music: Maybe 2-3 good songs. Dissapointing. Let's talk of a mo about Baby Shark: to me it wasn't funny, the song being such a social media present one in this world really took me out of the show. Yes sure the funnies of parents having to listen to kid music and them being stuck that way but I really wish they'd taken the time to make an original annoying jingle. TUA is usually such a delight for the ears that this hurt me bad! Plus they then kept changing whether the song was on or off, seemed like Diego could control it somewhat, but then why would he turn it back on for them riding into the final battle?

The Dialogue: Felt forced and cheap in places. They can use the word 'fuck' now and seem to therefor have decided they don't need to make the characters have witty insults for each other.

The 'Themes' of the show: Why has my quirky family drama been turned into a 90's romance film. Who asked for this. No.

The "Plot": When your own characters don't care about the plot for the sake of shindigs you think will be more entertaining then you know you fucked up. It made sense the first 2 series them having side quests. Less so in the third. Even less so now. Literally at times they had to say to each other 'oh yeah shouldn't we find Ben?' I'll be here in the corner raisining. Also they came up with these 'stages' for the apocalypse but had one guy throw up, a couple things go boom and then they merge, it was one of the least threatening depictions of apocalypse I've seen - though that could be that it wasn't shot in very interesting ways.

Also side note for why there were so many shots that started upside down and rotated? Like I get if Klaus is upside down, and yeah the umbrellas are inside out, but it (plus the Bennifer monster) gave me too many stranger things vibes.

Now the sub-cast:

Jennifer: Love that for 1/2 the protagonist of the apocalypse she had little to no love put into her character, I legit kept forgetting her and Ben were part of the storyline. I loved that she was birthed from the squid, but why put something eerie and cool like that in and make it have meant nothing? Such a waste.

The villains [Gene, Jean and Abigail/Psy(sp?)]: Whilst I liked the idea of memories infecting the timeline, literally all of these guys was Tell don't Show. And for a series with only six episodes I do not want my time wasted with some side-character villains getting a dance number over the main cast. Despicable. Also there were WAY too many villains here especially if you then also count Reggie as one. Literally make Jennifer be trying to link up with Ben and coercing him (then Viktor could break through to him briefly from past experience of a similar relationship - the symmetry is nice) and have Abbigail be pulling the strings. There were so many side characters of no import that I lost track of the main cast. Hell, make Kenny's Mom be the bad guy I'd have loved that! Also, I like that Abigail was somewhat evil, but then they tried to make her good too? No thank you. Pick a lane not everybody needs redemption.

Special RIP to Diego and Lila's twins that Never Even Got Names 💀 fucking hell that's lazy ass writing.

Now the main cast:

Viktor: He deserved better, why bother to introduce that he's had a girlfriend, slept through the entire town, and owns a bar when you then don't talk about any of it. He's told to 'grow up' it's so specific, what does it mean? Also since last we saw he was the sort of ride or die for his love type (with both Leonard and Sissy) this is a frustrating turn with no explanation. Also his whole fight with Reggie and getting things off his chest arc felt forced and not as well written to me. And his character seemed to have been given zero changes from the last 6 years. I miss when his powers actually had a sound element to them rather than just, Havoc from X Men hands. You're taking the Viktor out of my Viktor.

Allison: We have no explanation of how she and Klaus found each other and fell in together. No info of how she and Reggie parted ways. We only hear that 'Ray left her' and nothing else. She says no one wants her at the party but then seems to know Gracie? Has she talked with Any of them since? Nothing was addressed from the end of last season, or even referred to being addressed in the past. I don't see the point of her new powers, or any of them having slightly off or new powers when then some of them don't? Either way, her rumours are so classic and now she's floating people? I see the link and if they'd been developing new powers over 6 years fine but no. You're taking the Allison out of my Allison.

Luther: Praise be, I did like Luther this season. He mentioned Sloane (shock horror, a love interest from a time gone by being brought up?!?! In TUA!!??) he was cracking me up and was really being Best Boy. Although I felt a lot of his dialogue was flat, and it seemed really out of character for him to start attacking the piñata? I don't think we've ever seen him physically lash out unless angry? It looked to me like 'oh yeah here's another silly gimmick that will be a haha. Diego, sure. Luther, no. They also decided (not surprised but always so disappointed) to make him getting ape-i-fied again humorous and not the soul destroying thing it would be. Also, why was he ape-i-fied??? His ape-ness came from the serum not the marigolds? Generally though, I really did enjoy him this season.

Diego: Love that we're throwing every over used marriage-in-pieces trope in the book at these two. Love that. Especially as they seemed to have sorted out some of their communication issues. I get their trajectories but was so deeply, Deeply bored watching it. Diego was sadly pretty dislikable for the whole season, which was real sad because I had grown to love him. There were some funny moments don't get me wrong, he's got too much personality to be a boring character, but whilst they didn't have to have a perfect marriage it was so dull and in hindsight such an obvious set up for the bleh that was to come. Plus they threw in a 'don't make me turn this car around' type moment to show how 'he's a parent now look wow' but I can't imagine any of the siblings hearing that and not laughing at him.

Lila: Again, marriage and wrong-conclusions and it was so boring. She's such a fun character and she was reduced to 'ooo how can we make her be a cheater and with Five' Why do you even need to do that? I just feel sad about it. And it doesn't help that we Don't Know Two Of Her Kids Names and neither her nor Diego seem to think of them for however long they're on the road, and she mentions them only once in the 7years of subway hell and both of them seem relatively undistressed without them. Sure, parents do need a break, but if you don't care about the kids visibly you know for sure I the audience member ain't gonna. Also why the eye lasers save for again a brief gag? It makes no sense when she then also has mimics abilities?

Claire: Let's give Claire a side note at this point. I do so hate it when shows decide to make children their parent's brains and moral compasses, take little to no time to show any bond between parent and child until the last 2 episodes, and instead choose to spend that time showing us how naturally fractious a relationship they have. Love that, so much. Never seen it before really. I get it's normal, but when ever other part of the show is cookie cutter predictable I don't need this too. Give her an actual personality that isn't "the wise old rebellious teenager"

Ben: Wow. So glad that A) I had to hear a character explain crypto currency for me, so glad we wasted precious time of a 6 episode series on that. B) Ben had changed 0%. C) that he had Even Less input and impact at the end emotionally than in any previous season and this one was About Him! And do you know why? Because D) they basically used star-crossed-lovers-can't-help-ourselves and made him use every creepy stalker OTT moving way too fast line in the books especially when Jennifer at a lot of moments was verbally saying she wasn't into it.. Also why does he talk about her like he's a 12 yr old and, idk, it was a shame to have no real impact from him until the end when he's suddenly scared and pushing Viktor away to save him but we see no connection from him and Viktor previously as to why he'd listen it would make more sense if it had been Klaus or Luther at this point.

Klaus: Now, I know a lot of his storyline this season came from the comic, and sure it's good material, that should probably have been used Throughout the seasons rather than crammed into 1 day. But let's chat for a hot mo: Now I like that we got to see him be nasty rather than the precious uwu Klaus that I've been guilty of perceiving at times, and that we see some of the negative effects of addiction on the family for the first time. Great moments, important. BUT. I'd have felt his rage out at Allison and turn to drugs would have been a lot more impactful if they'd bothered to show him waking up to the sound of being screamed at, barely able to hear his siblings, struggling to focus on them and wanting to drown it out. But we don't get that, the horror of what this means for him. Then we proceed to got through this whole let's have him want to get shot by a drug dealer (don't quite get why - or how Claire knows he's immortal now? did the powers back thing ever come up??) have him kidnapped and forced to prostitute himself, take more drugs (but still use his powers?) Develop a new power though without using the comic's fun quirk that he has to take his shoes off, and then bury him alive. Wow. this guy had plenty going on, but sure. Then -he can save himself, I thought this might become something poignant - he's able to conjure the dog to Go to Allison and lead them there, but no, he just gets rescued again. Gee I wonder what grave he's in Mom? All I don't know Claire, how about the Only One That's Been Dug Up? I thought it was really interesting to see his moments as a teen with Allison, and how he was living with her and thought they handled the worry about death/germs etc thing well tbf. Though also how the hell did he get home from being 13 hrs away and why nobody cared to go with him was pretty low.

Five: Dear lord that moustache was awful and I'm glad they all called it creepy and he had no concept. I despise 2 things they did here: made it canon that he gets romantic with Lila. Made going back into the literal apocalypse that he spent time having flashbacks about barely if at all affect him - it's unsure if his hesitation going back into it the second time was hesitation to go in there, and that's what I hoped they would do, but then, no. no. Please, Pleeaasse don't take away this nice, safe space I had in this nice, safe 'you literally can't sexualise him with anyone it would be so problematic' character and say 'they held out 7 years but yeaaahhh they hook up.' don't see why it was needed. It didn't 'heal' him, it was a plot for conflict but I've got plenty of other conflict plots that can end with Lila and Diego fighting without having to make every damn character have a god damn love interest! I loved their bond before, it was so fun and special to see a male and female not have to fall in love, and they ruined it. And it was for nothing? And they didn't have time to make the 7 years feel like 7 years and it was lazy writing for cheap conflict in my opinion. I hated it, I hate that it's "canon". I don't think I can describe just how awful I found it and unnecessary. I also don't buy that Five would be willing to not drink the marigolds as much as the others, or that there would be a timeline full of given up fives that sit around a diner. It was fun to watch though. And up until they started the montage in the subway and we knew where it was going I was enjoying Five in this season. that boy has had such a shit life and this is how it ends?

I will say that the flashback to them as kids was my favourite part of this series. It's always good to have a little deeper insight into how they interacted as children but I do have some Opinions here too of course: Reggie saying 'you look ridiculous' to Viktor, no, he made their outfits? I felt that was lazy writing when Reggie in the past has laid into Viktor's insecurities much more keenly: 'That outfit is only for your brothers and sisters / we've been over this, you're not special take it off / I will not have you wasting time with frivolity when the Academy has important work to do, leave us." etc. Also I thought there might be something different about why they all forgot their Ben memories. It was brutal yes, which I appreciated, but I can't believe that these guys wouldn't see their father kill their brother and not One of them flip their shit? Idk, it was a little... good and bad I guess.

I think that's it for now, if anyone read this far then well done! I might write a fix it post in a bit for my own entertainment.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[amugoffandoms]

Ahahaha i am making you talk about how the voting will affect kazui and yuno~~~

🔫😄

omg there's a gun im being threatened to talk about this oh no it's definitely not like I was planning on doing this anyway because I'm UNWELL ABOUT THEM AT 1 AM

ANYWAYS DRUMROLL FOLKS WATCHING IN THE AUDIENCE, IT'S TIME FOR MUG'S 1 AM MILGRAM THOUGHTS!!!

How Voting Will Affect the Liars

Similarities

From the get-go, we already know they're pretty similar. They have references to a cat in their t2 MVs (A flash of a cat silhouette in Tear Drop and Cat. [And also the Dove eating])

We also have Yuno confirming this in her interrogation questions.

Which prisoner is the most like you? Kazui is the only option.

The two of them are also related to theater.

Yuno mentions in one of her interrogation questions that she's a part of a theater club and half takes place at a theater.

Observant Pair

Yuno is able to point out lies while having a conversation. (See her catching Kazui lying about his type and Mikoto's smiling.) She's also pretty observant with all the relationships with the prisoners (Haruka & Muu, Shidou & Amane).

I'd say Kazui is also observant. I recall a timeline conversation he had with Fuuta about attacking a guard. He mentioned that the guard could have a gun or other weapons, which is why you would have to be careful when making decisions.

Now, here's where I get a little more assumptions and stuff and less concrete similarities, but I'm doing it because I love these characters a lot so it's okay!

They both have bad self-esteem/ issues.

Yuno's aren't especially prevalent in any of her voice dramas/songs, but just note that I'd feel like being told you're some little girl when you want to be thought as of yourself would be seriously bad for your mental health.

And, also, looking at current timeline conversations, she's been asking a lot if it was worth it to be born which haha girl you need therapy.

She does mention she wouldn't mind living her life over again, which sure, doesn't sound indicative of any problems, but considering how terrible it is to be dealing with people almost dying everyday and hearing people pretend you are lesser than who you are, pretending you are some little girl, I'd say it's pretty sound reasoning for some issues.

Kazui had a little, uh, how to call it, breakdown-ish over him lying his entire life.

E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that. K: … I get that. E: Huh? K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful. E: Heh. Then just– K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others! E: … K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born! E: …Hey, Kazui– K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…! E: Kazui… K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

[Source]

You can also take a look at a single interrogation question and see how terrible he's doing.

Do you like yourself? I can't really say I do.

So, wowee they seriously need some therapy (sorry I'm trying to be lighthearted I'm still think about kazui's votes BAHAHSHDH also these two being my favorite characters of milgram is not a good sign for myself)

They would rather they never committed the murder.

If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again? I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

Do you regret your "murder"? I do regret it. I should have kept lying.

(Voice Drama)

K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!

Love and Like

Now, this one is sort of hard to determine on Kazui's side, but they do seem to make some sort of clear distinction between love and Like.

Difference between like and love? Isn't liking a state, and loving a feeling?

Cat MV

Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that? . . .

Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?

Kazui mentions true love (so, let's say romantic in this sense!) and I'll use liked-liked as just crushing.

Kazui says he lied (to protect his wife) because of true love. He mentions he likes someone because he was wondering about it.

Now, Kazui as a liar is pretty obvious. He mentions he's a liar, continue lying until you find the king of the masquerade, and shown as a magician (known for tricking and lying). He basically says he's lied for others.

Lying

(please enjoy silly minigram)

Yuno has lied as well. Not in MILGRAM, of course. She has no reason to lie. I'd say moreso on the side of her work. She's lied to her clients about who she is because she wanted to satisfy her client. She dresses up (hey, is this a half reference why is there changing costumes in this /j) for each of her clients and lies to them just to satisfy them for the money.

Someone mentioned in a post I reblogged a while back that they both lied to satisfy others and that's what they did.

This same post was when I begin to realize how Kazui's voting will severely affect Yuno.

Voting

So, this is the part of the post you've all be waiting for.

The Voting.

Now, luckily for Yuno, she's innocent! Haha, woo!!

We'll talk more about that later.

Kazui's voting is interesting to say the least! (Please don't look at my last posts to see how crazy I went please vote him innocent anyways)

To me, Kazui's vote feels like would you forgive a liar who has come clean, who has begun to show their true self to you?

Kazui is beginning to reveal himself to us, to show the person underneath the lies, the costumes, and the masquerade masks.

He's trying to be honest again! For the first time since his wife's death, he's trying to show the truth and let Es reveal him for who he is: a liar, a liar who is trying to be their true self.

Now, let's reflect on Yuno for a moment.

Let's recall one of the main objections to Yuno's voting last round. She didn't like being voted innocent because of how much they tried to justify her actions and act like she's such a poor, innocent girl who only did it because she's never felt love. She couldn't believe she was voted innocent because of that! Because of lies she had made up for her clients. (Shove that, in Kazui's words lol)

She wants Es to judge not because she's pitiful but because they believe it is a correct judgment to decide. To use logic instead of half-baked opinions on herself.

She wants Es to see her true self, someone who isn't pitiful, someone who did it because she wanted to.

See the line of connection?

They both want Es to see them for who they are, not for their lies.

Now, reflecting on the current voting, let's look at Yuno.

Even after her telling us/Es not to pity her, apparently some people still acted like she was an innocent girl. And even then, we all sort of chalked her up as abortion girlboss (GUYS please she's so much more than that head in hands places hand on wall) AND, hey, I'm not saying I'm immune to this, my reaction to her was pretty much the same. I'd vote her innocent no matter the reason (I love her character or that her murder is forgivable to me, even with the pregnancy entrapment theory)

But, she's more than that. She's more than a single action she's done.

But, somehow we missed that while we voted and made our decision.

We decided she was just a single action she's done made from her lies. She was trying to make sure we'd see her as herself, not a single thing we did.

And we didn't! We voted her innocent because she's a pitiable girl who has done nothing wrong.

So, wowed, strike one for us, Failure to Vote for One's True Self.

We voted for a single part about her and disregarded everything else because it was easy.

We didn't let her show us for who she is.

Now, Kazui time!

I've already mentioned previously that Kazui wants to show his true self to us, so I won't regurgitate stuff you already know.

Now, I feel like it's sort of clear that people don't care too much about that. More on the fact that he could have stopped at any time. (He wanted to tell the truth on his terms. Divorce is also a pretty bad look on you in Japan so I've heard.) He wanted to protect his wife, okay, cool cool.

He still wants Es to reveal his true self. (And, judging from the guilty verdicts, I don't think that'll work, that'll just make them worse in the long run.)

Also, quick tangent: This sounds familiar. Why does this voting seem like we've done this before as if we wanted to reveal their true self as if we wanted to show them their sins.. anywho

And, by giving Kazui a guilty verdict, we're only further proving that we don't give a damn about wanting to know about his true self, only that he lied to his wife, disregarding any of his own feelings related to the matter. We don't care about him wanting to be hinest.

We're proving we don't care about his true self, only his actions.

So, now it's strike two! Failure to Allow Someone to their True Self.

So, yeah, isn't that fun? We failed to vote for someone's true self and failed to let them even be that.

So, why do I think Kazui's voting will affect Yuno?

Well, they're pretty similar, we know that.

They both are liars who have lied to satisfy others in a sense.

Kazui's voting is to see if we can allow someone to be their true self and be honest about themselves. He was beginning to do that when he took off his ring.

Kazui getting voted guilty means that we don't really care about their true self and their feelings, only their actions matter. None of their circumstances matter. (Hey, reduction of punishment by extenuating circumstances? What in the world, how did you get in here I thought that was only a Yuno thing)

Yuno is trying to show that she wants to be seen as her true self and we're forcing this man to continue lying.

So, guess what? Yuno probably won't show her true self if we're failing to even let someone be honest and vote based on their true self.

Yuno wants to be seen for who she is. And, it seems like we have an odd aversion to that.

So, Yuno will never find the warmth that will allow her to be true, to be herself. Hey, maybe she could die trying to be herself, who knows?

All we know is that we're deciding if someone's true self is worth seeing.

Judging by the current votes and what our judgments are based upon, Yuno will never be able to be herself. We have decided that it's not worth seeing anyway.

[fabbyf1]

Hi!

I’m not sure of this is how to go about this correctly.

I’m not sure what your position is on others drawing inspiration/directly from your incredible fan fiction writing but, on Ao3 there is a fic called ❤️lestappen- One shorts💙 by lestapeeen. The most recent chapter (14) is very similar to the monza chapter of long live(twwct) specifically the piggy back and proposal promise. some of the dialogue is exactly the same.

I figured you should know. If it’s a cool with you or if you knew already, sorry to be a bother.

DISCLAIMER: This post, by no means, is asking for ANYBODY to send this author mentioned (and tagged) below hate. On anon or main. I have been pretty damn clear with my feelings on the matter below. They know what they've done, and I won't stand for it. Nobody needs to make this worse by sending them death threats. With that out of the way, let's deep dive, shall we?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

First off, god bless you, bestie. God BLESS you. I want to smooch you on your incredibly wonderful forehead. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I cannot be everywhere at once and cannot possibly read every fanfic posted to AO3, but it's not fucking cool for people to straight-up plagiarize my shit.

Secondly, I'd like to ask that if ANY of my followers come across something that looks very suspiciously similar to my fics, please let me know. You can for sure send it on anon, or send me a dm.

Now, with that being said, I clicked on this fucking fic not knowing what to think. I went into it with a pretty open mind, knowing that there are quite a few authors currently posting fics that are verrrrrrrrrrry similar to my writing style. I've gotten pretty close to calling a few of these authors out but haven't for a few reasons.

Fanfics based on the same ship, in the same canon setting, are always going to be... let's use the word "similar" here. The plot can only change so much when you're following canon events, you know? I don’t write AUs, so I’m only going off canon-inspired fics. My fics generally follow along with canon timelines and therefore, other author’s fics that follow the same timeline are going to be... similar. I get that and accept that.

Characterizations are bound to be... well, fuck it, let's use that word "similar" again. I'm gonna be pretty forgiving when someone's Max is damn near the same as my Max because one: I'm a good and forgiving person, and two: I think my characters (while totally fucking fictional) are very life-like to the real person. So, with that in mind, when I read a fic with characterizations similar to mine... I will usually give somebody grace... and accept that maybe, just possibly, they see Max Verstappen (the person) the same way I do (fictionally) and it’s a big old coincidence that our fics read so similar. You know? Does that make sense?

But with all that being said, I’m not a fucking idiot. 

And honestly? I give more grace than I should on this goddamn website. (lmfao, respectfully.) This is sadly not the first time that somebody has very much written in my likeness, and I know it won't be the last. But this is definitely the boldest version of plagiarism I've seen. I haven’t clicked on any chapter except for 14, and I heavily skimmed the first part, but let’s take a little deep dive into some of the highlights. Because I will show the receipts, bestie.

from their story:

from long live:

..... right, let's move on.

from their story:

from long live:

okay................. sure

from their story:

from long live:

If you're going to plagiarize my shit... you could at least put it in a different font, so to speak. "Hey, can I copy your homework?” “Sure, but change it up a bit.” 

Girlie pop, you stopped even trying to change it the fuck up. 

Let me be clear: I do not authorize anybody to translate, re-post or distribute my work without my written consent. This is in a disclaimer (that I will post below) in every single one of my fics. Taking MY dialogue is NOT okay. 

Direct quote from the beginning note of Long Live:  DISCLAIMER #4: This is 100% fictional, and I do not own any person, team, or sponsor referenced in this story. I mean no offense to any person(s) mentioned and characterized in this story. I am not affiliated with any part of Formula 1 or its subsections. Please do not translate, re-post, or distribute my work without my written consent. I will cry.

To sum up, writing is not easy, and it takes time and effort. Time away from my friends, my girlfriend, my family. Time away from my job and my other hobbies. Long Live is 76 thousand words and took me countless hours to write.

To have somebody so blatantly and disrespectfully post MY SHIT as their own and not even try to give me credit? To not write a note that said, “Heyyyyy go read long live, which I [clearly] really enjoyed!” or even a “Some of this dialogue was inspired by @fabbyf1” or even just a “lmfao some of this i didn’t write but the rest i did” really pisses me off.

Why did it ever have to come to this?

I am SO disappointed right now.

Happy fucking Friday, I guess.

For full transparency, here is the link to their fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55255699 and here is the link to their tumblr: @l-estappen

Here is the link to MY fic, which was posted on April 2nd, 2023, and written in Google Docs with revision history about a month before that. I have receipts out the fucking ass, my dear. https://archiveofourown.org/works/46190509/chapters/116284915

Be well.

[mcu-binge]

Love in Brooklyn pt 12

The days stretched into weeks, and with no word from Steve, a dull ache had started to settle in my chest. I'd tried to keep myself busy with the bakery, and I'd even taken on a few new custom orders, but there was always this nagging feeling of absence.

In the mornings, as I walked up to the bakery a big part of me was hopeful that I'd see Steve there leaning on my door waiting for me with coffee and day after day week after week I'd feel the same disappointment of not seeing him there. I'd push open the bakery doors, inhaling the familiar smell of flour and sugar mixing with the scent of fresh coffee. It was the one thing that grounded me, my small world of ovens, recipes, and loyal customers who knew nothing about the man who'd crept his way into my life. But even here, I couldn't shake the way his absence hovered like a shadow, following me from the kitchen to the register.

"Dani," called Rosa, one of the bakers who'd been with me from the start. "You okay? You've been staring at that croissant dough for five minutes."

I blinked, looking down at the dough I'd been absently kneading. "Oh, yeah. Just thinking," I said, managing a smile. Rosa gave me a sympathetic look, and I could see the question she wanted to ask.

She'd heard me talk about Steve in passing, but it was always vague—the kind of talk that didn't reveal too much. Still, she knew enough to see that something was on my mind.

"Let me handle the croissants," she said gently. "Why don't you take a minute? You've been on your feet all morning."

I considered protesting, but exhaustion won out. "Alright, you're a lifesaver," I said, stepping aside.

With my hands free, I headed to the back office. I sat down at my desk, glancing at my phone for the tenth time that day. No messages. No calls. I tossed it aside, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Part of me felt foolish for waiting, especially when he'd given me no timeline. And yet, another part of me couldn't let it go. I didn't want to become someone who lived their life around a person who might never come back. But, like clockwork, I found myself glancing at the door every morning, half expecting him to walk in with that quiet smile of his.

Get it together, Dani, I thought, running my fingers through my hair. I grabbed a piece of paper and began scribbling down a new recipe, something with a fall theme. Maple pecan muffins, maybe with a bit of bourbon glaze? Anything to keep my mind from wandering back to the silence that seemed to stretch on forever.

A couple of hours later, the bakery was full of customers, and I threw myself into the flow of things. I exchanged quick smiles, handed out pastries, and listened to customers gush over their morning coffee as they strolled out the door. It was like muscle memory, the ease of handling orders and keeping things running smoothly. But deep down, the silence still lingered.

Just when I thought I'd gotten a handle on it, Sofia walked in, a wide smile spreading across her face as she held up a magazine. "It's out! Look at this!" she practically squealed, holding it out for me.

I looked down, seeing my own pastries on the cover of Local Eats Monthly, glistening under perfect lighting. My heart skipped a beat as I skimmed the feature, filled with descriptions of the bakery and praise for our recent seasonal creations.

"Oh my God, Sofia," I said, laughing with genuine surprise. "I can't believe this is real."

"You should be so proud! First the Gourmet Gazette now this? Do you realize how much business this is going to bring you?" Sofia beamed, giving me a squeeze.

"Look around," I said motioning to the sea of customers. "Thanks for doing our PR." Honestly after that Stark event I had to get Sofias help.

I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. This magazine feature was huge for the bakery, something I'd been working toward since I started. But still, a small part of me wanted to share this moment with someone who wasn't here.

"Thanks, Sof," I said, giving her a quick hug. "I couldn't have done this without you."

"Well, that's what friends are for," she replied, her voice softening as she looked at me knowingly. "And don't think I haven't noticed that you're not yourself lately."

I sighed, glancing around the bakery. "It's just... everything with Steve. He said he'd be back, but it's been weeks now."

Sofia reached out, giving my hand a squeeze. "Hey, maybe he's got a good reason. It's not like he can just send a postcard from... wherever it is he's fighting supervillains."

I chuckled, appreciating her attempt to lighten my mood. "Yeah, maybe."

But as I watched her leave, the uncertainty crept back in. There was no way of knowing if he'd come back—or if he even wanted to.

---

The rest of the day felt long and stretched out, "Dani, you've been at this all day," Rosa's voice cut through my concentration. She nudged my shoulder, pulling me out of my baking zone. "It's time for a break, mija. You've done enough."

I dusted my flour-covered hands off on my apron. "I'm fine, really," I replied, glancing at the clock and realizing how much time had slipped by.

"Go home," Rosa insisted, giving me a warm but firm look. "You need rest, and the bakery can run without you for a night."

After some gentle protests, I finally gave in. "Alright, fine," I said, rolling my eyes but grateful for the push. I took off my apron, said goodbye, and headed home. I had a shower and dressed in my fluffy shorts and a loose fitting crop top. I was just about to sit down with a book when there was a knock at my door. It must be a mistake nobody even buzzed me. I opened door and my jaw dropped. I found Bucky Barnes, casually leaning against the frame.

"James?" I said, startled.

He grinned. "Caught you off guard, didn't I?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied, blinking in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking in. Thought I'd make sure you were surviving the wait," he said, stepping inside as I motioned for him to come in. He got a haircut, I could tease him about this later.

He looked around, his gaze taking in the cozy surroundings. "Nice place," he commented, looking genuinely impressed. "Way homier than the tower."

I chuckled, gesturing to the couch. "Want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot."

"Sure," he said, easing onto the couch as if he'd been here a hundred times before.

I handed him a mug and settled in across from him. "So... any news?" I asked carefully, hoping he'd have some kind of update.

Bucky shook his head. "Not much. Missions like this can be tricky."

He took the cup from me, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "Dani, you make one hell of a cup. I figured Steve was exaggerating, but turns out he wasn't."

I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms. "Oh, so he talks about my coffee?"

"More than you'd believe," he said, and his gaze slid over me, pausing a little too long on my exposed mid section before he gave me a lazy grin. "Actually, I was surprised he'd left a catch like you sitting here all alone."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help the slight blush creeping up. "Oh, please, you and I both know Steve has way too much patience for his own good."

"Patience? I think he's just a little slow." Bucky leaned in, his smirk widening. "You know, Steve might be a saint, but I'm not. And if he keeps dragging his feet, maybe I'll step in."

I felt a laugh bubble up, enjoying the banter. "Awfully bold of you, Barnes. Just don't expect me to fall for the 'strong, silent type' routine. I like a challenge."

"Challenge?" he scoffed, looking delighted. "Dani, sweetheart, I invented the challenge."

"Oh yeah?" I shot back. "So what's your go-to line, then?"

Bucky didn't miss a beat. "Well, usually I don't need one. The arm does most of the talking." He shrugged out of his jacket just then, letting the metal gleam in my lights.

I pretended to study it with exaggerated interest, then shrugged. "Hmm. Not bad, I guess. It does add a certain...shine."

Bucky laughed, looking genuinely amused. "I'll give you this—you're not an easy one to crack. And trust me, I've met my fair share."

"Are you flirting with me, James?" I asked, tilting my head and doing my best to look innocent.

He grinned. "Only if it's working."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll admit, you've got the charm thing down. But if you're here to try and win me over, you've got a hell of a competition."

"Oh, I know. And I'm not exactly subtle." He leaned in, lowering his voice, "One things for sure : Steve's right. You're a spitfire."

He paused, his gaze serious for a moment. "Honestly, Dani. I can see what Steve sees in you."

There was a softness in his tone, a kind of respect that made me feel a little more grounded. "Thanks, Bucky," I said, genuinely touched. "But for the record, I'm not looking for a replacement."

Bucky raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, fair's fair. But if you change your mind..." He gave me a mischievous wink.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Oh, I'll keep it in mind. But I don't fall for just anyone, it's gonna take more than a shiny arm and a smooth talker."

He chuckled, tipping his mug to me. "Noted. Just remember—if that punk keeps you waiting too long, you've got options."

His gaze was direct, challenging, and for a moment, the air between us shifted. Bucky was good-looking, and he knew how to lay on the charm, but I wasn't about to let him see me flustered.

"So, is this how you spend your time?" I teased. "Hitting on your friend's girl?"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Just trying to make sure Steve isn't taking you for granted."

"Good to know he's got his wingman doing quality control," I replied, sipping my own coffee and giving him a pointed look.

Despite all the flirting, there was a genuine warmth to him, like he was really looking out for me.

I watched as Bucky sprawled across my couch, looking way too comfortable for someone who'd just invited himself over. His arm was stretched along the back of the sofa, and he was watching me with that signature smirk of his.

"You know," I said, crossing my arms and giving him my best unimpressed look, "Since you decided to invite yourself it's not going to be just to lounge around."

Bucky grinned, completely unfazed. "Oh, so now you're putting me to work?"

"Absolutely." I motioned toward the kitchen, trying not to smile. "Go wash your hands, Barnes. You're helping me make dinner."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, standing up and giving me a mock salute as he sauntered over to the sink. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped.

I started pulling ingredients from the fridge, and soon enough, I heard the water turn off and Bucky's footsteps as he joined me in the kitchen, rolling up his sleeves with a grin.

"Alright, Chef," he said, leaning in just a little too close, his voice dropping to a whisper, "what's the plan?"

I handed him a cutting board and some vegetables. "Think you can handle chopping these?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Chopping? You're putting my talents to waste here."

I nudged him playfully. "Let's start small, big shot. Show me those skills you keep bragging about."

To my surprise, he started chopping, and he was actually pretty good. We worked side by side, our elbows bumping now and then as we moved around each other. Each time, he'd throw me this look that made my heart beat just a little faster, but I did my best to ignore it.

"So, what does a guy like you usually eat?" I asked, stirring a pot on the stove.

"Me?" He smirked, glancing over. "Oh, you know. A perfectly balanced meal of takeout and... whatever's in the Avengers Tower fridge."

I snorted, shaking my head. "Why am I not surprised?"

"But hey," he continued with a grin, "I'm open to learning from the best. Got any tips, Chef?"

I gave him a mock-serious look. "Rule number one: taste everything as you go. Here." I held out a spoon with a bit of sauce, bringing it close to his lips.

Bucky leaned in, tasting it with an exaggerated "mmm" and a wink. "Alright, I'll admit—you know what you're doing. Got any other rules?"

"Yeah, rule number two: try not to burn anything."

"Please, I don't burn," he said confidently, tossing me a flirty look. "Just adding a little... heat."

"Oh, is that right?" I laughed, shaking my head at his ridiculousness.

We continued cooking, the banter flowing easily between us. At one point, he leaned in a little too close, his arm brushing against mine as he reached for the salt, and the touch sent a small thrill through me that I tried my best to ignore.

"Admit it," he said quietly, his voice just a bit lower, that glint of mischief in his eyes. "You're enjoying my company."

I looked up at him, our faces just inches apart. "Maybe I am," I replied, just as quietly. "But don't let it go to your head."

His eyes sparkled with amusement, but he took a half-step back, grabbing the pepper instead, leaving the moment lingering between us. We fell back into the rhythm of cooking, laughter filling the kitchen along with the warm, savory smells from the stove. It felt... nice, easy, like we'd done this a hundred times before.

After we finished cooking, Bucky and I set the plates on my small dining table. The kitchen smelled amazing, filled with the warmth of spices and roasted veggies. It felt cozy, almost like we'd done this a dozen times before. He settled into the seat across from me, taking in the spread with a nod of approval.

"This actually looks... pretty impressive," he admitted, a bit of a surprised smile playing at his lips.

I smirked, pouring us each a glass of water. "Was there any doubt?"

He chuckled, taking his first bite and savoring it for a moment. "Alright, I'll admit—you know what you're doing."

We began to eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before I broke it, asking, "So, James Barnes... what's something most people don't know about you?"

He glanced up, clearly surprised by the question, but after a second, he gave a half-smile. "Oh, so we're getting serious now?"

I shrugged, swirling my fork through my pasta. "Just curious. You don't give off the open-book vibe."

He laughed softly. "Fair. I guess... most people don't know I actually loved to draw when I was younger. Art class was one of my favorite parts of school."

That caught me off guard. "Wait, really? I wouldn't have pegged you as an artist."

"Yeah," he said, a little nostalgic. "I was pretty good, too. Used to draw sketches of people in cafes, parks... New York was a good place for that kind of thing back in the day."

I could see the wistfulness in his eyes, the way his mind drifted back to a different time. "You still draw?"

He looked down, shaking his head. "Not as much. Sometimes it feels like... that was a different guy. You know?"

I nodded, understanding more than I expected. "Yeah, I get it. Sometimes parts of us feel like they belong to a different version of ourselves, someone we left behind."

He looked at me with a curiosity that seemed almost unexpected. "What about you? Anything you used to do that's kind of... faded?"

I hesitated, twirling my fork. "I used to sing for fun at least. Nothing professional, just... around the house. My mom loved it." I chuckled, a little embarrassed. "It was our thing, I guess. But life happened, and it felt silly to keep up in the midst of all the growing up I had to do in a short amount of time."

Bucky's eyes softened, and he leaned forward slightly. "I don't think that's silly at all. There's something about holding onto those pieces of ourselves that keeps us... grounded. Maybe even reminds us of who we are."

I glanced down at my plate, feeling strangely seen. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's easy to let things slip away without even noticing."

He gave a thoughtful nod, as though considering his own answer. "Exactly. Sometimes it feels like those little things are all we have to remind us of... I don't know, the parts of us that are still ours."

I smiled at him, feeling a warm connection I hadn't expected. "You're pretty insightful, you know that?"

He shrugged, the faintest blush rising to his cheeks. "Guess it comes with being around for so long. You pick up a thing or two."

We shared a smile, and for a moment, there was a quietness between us that felt more like understanding than silence.

"So," he said, breaking the tension with a playful grin, "next time we cook, you're singing, and I'm drawing."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Deal. But only if you promise not to laugh."

"Oh, I'd never laugh," he replied, voice full of mock innocence. "But I can't promise I won't draw you while you're singing."

I rolled my eyes, laughing despite myself. "Fine, but don't make me look like a cartoon character."

His smile softened, and he looked at me with a warmth that reached his eyes. "I couldn't make you look like a cartoon even if I tried."

I felt my face heat up, surprised at how much his words affected me. We continued eating, the conversation weaving between deep memories and light-hearted banter, every exchange feeling like one step closer to understanding each other.

"So I gotta ask," I started getting his attention

"Hmmm?" He softly asks

"What's up with the haircut?" I teased, a sly smile slipping onto my face. "Going for the mysterious, 'I woke up looking this good' vibe?"

He raised an eyebrow, instantly smirking back. "You saying it doesn't work?"

"Oh, it works," I admitted, letting my eyes linger longer. "I mean, it's giving a little 'bad boy with a soft side,' you know?" I leaned in closer, lowering my voice. "I'm sure that's the plan, though, right? Just part of the Bucky charm."

He chuckled, leaning in to match my level. "And here I thought I was flying under the radar," he murmured. "Guess I'll have to work harder on my subtlety."

I bit back a grin, shrugging. "Nah, wouldn't want you to hide all that from the world. It's good to be memorable."

"Memorable, huh?" His smile turned a little softer, his gaze holding mine. "Well, if it's working on you, I must be doing something right."

My smile grew as I tilted my head, holding back a laugh. "Oh, you're doing a lot right. Don't let it get to your head, though," I teased.

"Noted," he replied, still grinning. "Guess I'll just have to keep my cool."

"Oh, keep your cool?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "James, if this is you being cool, I'm curious to see what it's like when you're actually trying."

He leaned back, giving me a look that was equal parts challenge and amusement. "Careful," he said, his voice dropping just a bit, "keep talking like that, and I might start trying."

I let out a laugh, shaking my head as I looked away. "Guess I'll have to brace myself."

He chuckled, his teasing glint softening a bit. "Alright, alright," he said, lifting his hands in surrender. "I'll take it easy on you. Don't want to scare you off, especially when I'm winning you over one compliment at a time."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. "In your dreams, Barnes."

He smiled back, genuine this time. "Fair enough. Steve's a good man."

The mention of Steve brought a warm feeling with it, grounding me. "Yeah," I nodded, a small smile lingering. "He really is."

Bucky held my gaze, a flicker of something respectful and knowing in his eyes. "Then he's a lucky man, Dani. That's all I'll say."

With that, we let the banter rest, our unspoken understanding filling the space. It was a reminder of the lines we wouldn't cross and of the loyalty that connected us all. We could joke and tease, but there was a respect there, a boundary we both honored—one we both knew was worth holding onto.

As the night wrapped up, Bucky stood by the door, glancing back at me with a relaxed smile. "Thanks for the dinner, Dani. I needed a night like this."

I crossed my arms, smirking. "Anytime you want invite yourself in."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Noted." Then he took a step closer, his arms opening in an unspoken invitation. "Come here."

I hesitated for a second before moving forward, letting him pull me into a hug. His embrace was warm and solid, surprisingly comforting.

"Take care of yourself, alright?" he murmured, his voice low against my hair. "And don't let that bakery run you ragged."

I smiled, pulling back just enough to look at him. "Same goes for you. And...watch Steve's back for me."

His eyes softened. "Always."

With one last look, Bucky gave me a small, reassuring smile before stepping out the door. As I closed it behind him, I felt a renewed warmth and reassurance that lingered, reminding me of the connections that made waiting for Steve just a little easier.

[penncilkid]

Can't remember what started it, but I've been on a bit of an Alexis kick recently and started thinking about my headcanons/version of here. So now I'm subjecting y'all to it /lh

Note: Yes, I am partially ignoring some elements of canon. I don't love the way she's written for several reasons— and also because I can play with these dolls however I'd like to. In addition, I will be re-contextualizing Sam's turning as well as discussing it to a certain degree. If that doesn't seem like your kind of thing, this post isn't for you.

Alexis turning Sam against his consent was wrong. I think it would be interesting if there were additional layers behind this decision. Both statements can co-exist. Don't act a fool on my post. /srs /lh

Anyways, thoughts under the cut (CW for mentions of violence/vampiric attacks + Sam's Turning's CWs):

The basics:

Her name before turning was Alexis Guevara. (I'm not a fan of "Getty", sue me /lh). Her family is/was of Cuban descent, and her being Latina/non-white is vital to my vision.

Alexis was empowered but humanborn prior to her turning. She was specifically a telepath, which caused a lot of strife with her family.

With this as context: She was kicked out of her home originally because of too many outbursts/incidents involving her hearing things that "weren't there" or "knowing things she shouldn't". The final straw was when she freaked out in the middle of a church service, screaming as tried to warn everyone that someone planned to attack them soon. When they went outside to check, there was no one there (Translation: Person obviously left after hearing Alexis give away their plan somehow).

After being kicked out of her home, she ends near Dahlia/some sort of city. Part of my inspiration for her stems from the version of Selina Kyle in Batman: Year One. After migrating, she quickly became a part of a small, tight-knit community of fellow black and brown otherwise isolated empowered people. In my mind, there was about 4 others she looked out for with her being one of the older ones.

In alignment w/ the timeline, Alexis is turned after a rogue vampire attack. But there's layers to it. The rogue vampire in question attacks more than just her. Everyone in this small community she considered her apart of is hurt in some way. She is one of maybe two survivors, if that. As she laid there waiting to die she could hear the thoughts of those around her as they died, calling out for one another— for her— before they passed.

Now that that's out of the way, you may be wondering: "Okay, what's so special about all of that?" Everything because I think it colors everything she does moving forward.

Part of the "turbulent progeny" reputation attributed to Alexis earlier in her turning stemmed from her throwing resources at struggling empowered (and/or unempowered) people seemingly willy nilly until William stepped in and was like "I need you to slow it down."

I imagine that discussion went something like: "You can't just do this, Alexis—" "Why not! It's not like DUMP is doing shit, William—" "There are procedures to this—" "FUCK THOSE! People need money to live, I should be allowed to fucking give it!"

This leads into how she gets roped into the vampiric espionage (like Porter). In exchange for her services to William's goals/initiatives/etc., she gets almost completely unrestricted spending for whatever she'd like. The vast majority goes back to the communities she wants/wanted to help.

The other angle to this is Alexis wanting to get back at vampires. She's gotten comfortable enough with her new lifestyle to not resent being a vampire, but she wants to hurt some of these bastards like they hurt her and her family all those years ago.

"Okay PK, but you mentioned Sam's turning. What does that have to do with anything?" I was laying out parameters and background, we can get into it now.

As it's explained in canon, I've always interpreted Alexis and Sam's relationship prior to everything as a friends with benefits/situationship type dynamic. Physically intimate above all but still close in other ways. Alexis hoped for more/a deeper connection with Sam, but it was painfully clear that the chances of that happening were dwindling with every night they spent with each other.

Night of the turning comes about. As it's described in canon, Sam is impaled, likely bleeding out, he's in rough shape. In my mind? With all the prior context? Alexis started experiencing a trauma response (which wasn't helped by the exposure to blood as well). As Sam assured her that he would be fine/he could heal himself (which, imo, was still debatable), Alexis was in full-on flashback mode. She was blinded by her panic and fear response, locked into a "this time, I can save them" mindset that had marinated over decades since she was first turned. She couldn't bear to watch someone she cared about die in front of her. Not again.

This wasn't the first time something similar happened. When Vincent was first brought to the Solaire estate, turned but unconscious, Alexis instinctively panicked because he was still covered in blood clothes and such (+ missing his prosthetic). Her mind went into that same "something's wrong, help him" mode, just this time William was there to stop her/assure her that he was already safe.

Alexis fully accepted her scolding from William after it got explained/revealed what happened. To say she regretted it would be a lie. Would she have wanted it to play out differently? Yes. Does she wish Sam had asked her to be turned— that the accident never happened— that she had never reached out that night? Yes. But she doesn't regret turning Sam. In her mind and heart, she was able to save someone this time. She can't fault herself for that, no matter how many complex emotions she feels about it.

Though he took her ability to invoke Sam (rightfully so), I imagine that (in a tweaked version of canon) Vincent, William, and Porter know the context of her turning and acknowledge that what happened was, in some parts, because she was triggered. At the first mention from Sam to leave her alone, she did. She tries to make herself scarce, avoid him as much as possible, keeps her distance if they have to be in the same space— She respects the fact he doesn't want her around and hasn't tried to press those since he was turned. They can forgive her for that much.

I've yet to firmly settle on a vision for Alexis and Sam's dynamic in the present day. But I think the crux of it, at least closer to when Sam was first turned, is: Alexis "We didn't talk like that, that wasn't what our time was supposed to be because that's not what he wants" Solaire (In reference to how she was turned) x Sam "Save the sob story for someone who gives a damn, Alexis" Collins.

That's pretty much the sweeping overview on my thoughts on/vision for Alexis. I'll likely design her at some point (my current height headcanon for her is 5'4", for those who would want to know). What can I say, she compels me /lh /pos

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

boi oh boi do I got some problems for anons to unpack with me tonight

When my current partner and I first got together (formally) in the late summer / early fall of 2020, he had JUST started part-time living at our friends house back in New England. He moved in, from New York, with her, because she had just ended a 10 year relationship and was mega-alone and mega-depressed. The beginning of this relationship was spent with him writing music with her as she coped with this breakup, etc. We were both sort of an emotional crutch for her while she had her (well deserved ffs) hoe phase, had her first boyfriend after the fact, they broke up, she spent some time alone and Worked On Herself, and then got into another relationship, which turned out to be a LTR.

I think I have posted on here (or maybe I haven't) about how hard I struggled with the fact that, after we moved to Montana and came back and the pandemic was declared "over", I moved back to NYC. He stayed in New England, and stayed there for another 2 years. I told him over and over and over and over again how driving back and forth to a place I was so burned by and had been longing to leave for my whole life (this friend lived, mind you, 10 minutes down the highway from my hometown), feeling so impermanent in NYC, the place I was trying to make my new home; never there enough time to establish anything real with anyone between tours and splitting time between NY and a place I resented, and it was killing me. Absolutely destroying me in every way. He had a lot of reasons which he thinks are justified but I don't agree with, and could nitpick how BS they are extra in hindsight (but won't here and am trying not to mentally do it irl): wanting to buy a house and liking that he lived somewhere for free + wanting to hang on to that as long as he could to save money for the house (v short summary, he was her employee for music stuff so she let him live there for free), he wanted a yard and a secluded home where he could make music loudly at any time of day in a way the city couldn't provide, etc. I begged him to move anywhere. I told him I'd leave NY, etc. We planned to move to Arizona, to Utah, back to Montana, but it kept getting pushed back to someday, someday, someday. This has long been litigated between us and forgiven, and he's been made to understand why it hurt me, and I can tell he's sorry about how it made me feel etc. so that's all fine.

Anyway, what finally DID make him move in with me was that this friend's LTR boyfriend wanted to move in, so he was kicked out. We, again, also, have long litigated the fact that this hurt me and made me feel like a consolation prize.

Now, though, this very same couple has just gotten engaged. And, okay, I know every couple moves at a different pace, obviously. That's a fact of life. But I've seen SO many couples, who got together LONG after we did, get engaged in the past year. That's the.... "normal" pace. I spent 5 years of my life in a different dead-end relationship already; and on this blog we've been over the numerous transgressions that made this current relationship sputter and stall out a few times like an almost-dead car engine. To be fair, me going to Australia for a year didn't help the "timeline" aspect, either. But I always justified the dead-end first LTR by saying, well, we got together when I was 17. Thank GOD we didn't get married! But how am I now here again, in a relationship that will, technically and as far as I'm concerned, be 5 years old in a few months, not one iota further than I was in the dead-end relationship from when I was 17? It doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel fair and even though the math is mathing and the things that happened in the past hurt and needed time to smooth them over, I find myself just so ANGRY that I've never been able to find and fall into something easy, like everyone else I know. I'm happy to have the prize I fought so hard for; I wanted it; I fought for it. But I look around at all the relationships that didn't start in complete disaster like mine did; girls who dated men with intense commitment issues and saw them for a waste of time, looking for the ones that were already ready and found them and slipped into something easy and simple and loving, and are already married off with that person. Why did I hurt myself so bad? Why did I fight so hard? Just to wind up triggered by waiting due to past events of this relationship and of the previous one; feeling unwanted as a result of lack of forward momentum, only waiting again now because of the WAY the waiting the first time fractured us and needed to be smoothed over? I don't know if I'm articulating it properly, but it fucking stings. And I don't say this to blame him because it's not his fault; not anymore, because he's more than atoned for all the Bad Stuff in the beginning. But that doesn't make the consequences that those things are having now any less real, and it doesn't help when I'm left to think about those things constantly while I attend wedding after wedding that isn't mine from relationship after relationship that started long after.

I also don't really feel like I can bring this up, because every SINGLE milestone of our relationship has been due to me begging for something to happen. I don't know how I can spend eternity in good consciousness if I do that to the last one too, and never get the satisfaction of knowing it was something he actually wanted. We're also also about to go on a trip in 2 weeks, and so I'm like, hey, maybe it'll happen there, but I want that feeling to come with EXCITEMENT, not relief and not some depressing just box to validate. And if I bring this up now, not only will I feel like it's forced, but I might shoot myself in the foot by causing another delay that fucks everything up to death,

UGH.

[juniorig0327]

RGS (Revamped God Swap) AU pt. idk

Okay I think I've finally settled on a heritage for Percy and pretty much most of the characters I've mentioned that aren't Thalia or Nico.

Percy - I've decided Percy is going to be the Son of Poseidon and Juno now before I get roasted hear me out lol.

Percy isn't Juno's child in a traditional sense but more like how Jason was Juno's champion but a bit more than that.

After Percy was born, Sally ended up praying for protection for him to basically any goddess that would listen as she sort of knew he'd lead a more tragic life than others and Juno ended up listening and embedded some of her essence in him, sort of like a blessing and Juno basically just adopted him (especially after Sally dies in this AU because I'm evil like that).

But similar to Jason in canon, Percy doesn't really meet Juno, but he does meet Hera which is a bit more prone to disliking him but doesn't like outright hate him. She's kinda just thinking "why embed my power in a son of POSEIDON?? What were you thinking Juno" but like by the end Hera definitely comes around.

He'd also be a legacy of Sol like in my original plans but he wouldn't really get any major insane abilities out of it, if he did maybe something to do with light but I'm not sure I could link light to his water, storm, and air (from Juno) related powers properly so I might not touch that...

Gabe Ugliano is still a thing. I say this because I feel like its a big part of his character because some big parts of his character is his low self esteem, his loyalty, his anger, and I feel like some of the bigger and even smaller parts about his character (possibly) stem from his circumstances and how he was raised, especially in TLT. So I'm opting to keep him in here.

Percy at the beginning would have twice the enemies. Not only is Hades after him, but Zeus is too (because of the Juno thing) so when Percy fights the minotaur even with Hades intentions to save Sally as a bargaining chip, Zeus intervenes and so Sally ends up dying against the Minotaur.

So Percy ends up with his only friend, Grover by his side. And in this timeline there's no Annabeth so while he's at camp and especially after his claiming he's alone. He still goes on the quest and doesn't save his mother but he does retrieve the helm and master bolt because it's what his mom would've wanted him to do- to help.

Percy does go back home (and he does kill Gabe Ugliano because he deserves way worse than being frozen as a statue). And from there he becomes a year round camper because he has nobody to go back to, he didn't really have any friends or family so he's all alone.

Eventually I'd say he does meet Paul through Rachel and finally deciding to go home after the labyrinth and a few mist trickery things later ends up going to Goode because of Rachel and meets Paul and Paul basically ends up adopting him at some point (and also Fredrick Chase after meeting Annabeth and then her dad).

Annabeth - Annabeth would be after thinking hard and long about it a Roman child of Apollo. She'd go a long time thinking that she just didn't have powers until she finally comes in contact with the Romans (yeah I read a Roman!Annabeth story and got this idea so yeah). I also don't think she'd run away in this timeline, especially because the baby was intentional (and also because she's a legacy of Athena.) Freddy would be a good parent in this timeline and take care of his daughter lol. So in this timeline she doesn't meet Thalia AND Luke but possibly one of them.

I think Freddy would be similar to Sally and just wanting to keep his daughter as long as possible, so he and her would make a lot of trips to camp half-blood when Annabeth was younger during the summers and weekends, sort of like trips for certain periods of time. Freddy being of demigod heritage himself wouldn't want Annabeth to be at camp half-blood, especially knowing that Chiron sends KIDS on quests (Fredrick might've been at CHB once, got sent on a quest when he was younger and he was the only one who survived and never went on one again and left it behind as soon as he turned 18) so his home would be equipped with Celestial Bronze weapons. Freddy sometimes would get too caught up in Annabeth's safety that Annabeth feels more so trapped and guarded from every little thing which would lead to Annabeth running away after an argument about a monster attack which would lead to Lupa finding her.

Freddy is eventually put in the loop about where Annabeth is: Camp Jupiter and despite everything, she becomes a child soldier anyways. But Annabeth being at CJ is the best thing ever. All of a sudden she has all these cool powers (which I want to go more in depth about in another post) and she's living her dream, she's always wanted to fight, always wanted a quest. But eventually she finds out it isn't as hyped as it's made out to be and decides to simply come back home because even though he handled it in a bad way, she finally understands why he kept her away from CHB and from fighting monsters.

Thalia - Thalia's backstory is pretty similar to canon. She's the daughter of Zeus, but the daughter of two different aspects, the chthonic earth Zeus (which was a version of Zeus in certain parts of Greece, and also plays a part in her fear of her air powers) and God of Storms and Lightning Zeus so she's way more dangerous. She comes from a pagan family and Beryl was a huge worshipper and legacy of Aphrodite.

Thalia runs away and meets Luke like in canon but doesn't meet Annabeth. They end up getting to camp but shit hits the fan when Luke is sent on a quest. Luke is excited, really excited he can finally prove his worth and get the campers to trust him but only Thalia comes back (with the apples) but no Luke, no other demigod comes back.

But Thalia is different now. Besides the scar etched on her face like a painful reminder somethings changed. She's much more volatile and dangerous to be around. She also doesn't seem to age much either, she doesn't really grow- not really. After she reaches 15 she sort of just stops, like she's stuck in time and nobody thinks about it- not really. Percy comes to camp and Thalia teaches him. She tutors him the best she can, along with trying to steer his way of thinking. She stays at camp until the end of summer, where at the end she tries to kill Percy (she's been trying to hold on as long as possible and convince him, she doesn't want to hurt Percy, not really but Kronos is offering her power and a world where kids don't have to go on quests ever again. And if Kronos has to coerce her into killing a kid so be it).

Luke - Luke, the son of Hades. Luke who's mother was driven insane when Hades offered her godhood, Luke's mother who couldn't handle the power of the underworld and is slowly withering away, so he ran away. Luke is similar to Nico (in TTC) when he finds out what he is though, he gets to have a purpose and life and he free from his mom, and Thalia is an added bonus he likes very much.

Luke is nearly 16 when he's offered his quest and readily accepts (I aged him down a bit to fit my insane story) but he dies- or he thinks so. He's swallowed by the Earth and next thing he knows he wakes up and everything's different.

Thalia is gone and there's this guy named Percy? And he comes back to camp and after finding out what happened suddenly everything's too much. The attention and expectations were easier because Thalia carried them with him. But now she's gone and suddenly everything's up to him. Percy tries to help and grows closer to him and Luke cant help himself, he reminds him too much of Thalia. But Thalia makes him an offer and Luke can't bring himself to refuse. Thalia was always Luke's everything and if he becomes the villain everyone at camp was expecting him to be then so be it, right?

Clarisse - Daughter of Nike (Legacy of Glaucus). Clarisse being raised in a militaristic home, being from a lineage which is basically all military soldiers and demigods, being pushed to be the best- to win. Clarisse had always known she was a demigod since like- forever and so ever since she could remember she's been molded, training, fighting even in the smallest of ways like withholding emotions and being trained in weaponry.

She's eventually found by Coach Hedge however and taken to CHB. She doesn't get claimed until after SOM where once she comes back with the fleece she's claimed by Nike and Glaucus (Glaucus would be the one who gave her the boat in this AU and the warriors are simply dead navy men.) Clarisse doesn't join the titan army even though she's tempted at times, because she knows Percy will lead CHB to victory.

Their relationship doesn't start as hostile but definitely slowly grows hostile overtime. Clarisse has been training her entire life for this life, but Percy gets most of the quests, he leads the quests and sometimes does stupid things that don't lead to victory. Clarisse's fatal flaw, hubris gets the better of her and eventually their conflict comes to a head and the camp becomes divided but eventually they talk and reconcile. She finds out they're more alike than they think, and that he's just a kid and she learns that she's just a kid too and she decides he'll bring this kid victory, that he'll rage and fight for him.

I've been writing this for like an hour but this is part one, not everyone's going to get a godly parent swap but I just wanted to go over some basic characters for this one so uh enjoy. Next post will prob be more god swap stuff, either other parentages or going into depth about these (five?) and their powers.

[reallyhardy]

Loren, have you started watching Scott Pilgrim Takes Off!? I'm on episode 5 rn, interested in your thoughts if you have started watching

YES hello!

i thought it was brilliant! i loved the subversion of expectation (i mean i WOULD deffo have been happy to sit there any just watch The Story I Know yet again, but it was SO exciting when i realised they were doing something different.) i love love LOVED the animation, all the action sequences looked so fantastic, and... i loved the addition of the sparks ✨ i thought it was SO so cute. SPOILERSSSS below:

i thought will forte playing older/even older scott was a fantastic choice (channelling phil tandy miller from the last man on earth for sure)

i also adored the scene with kim and knives bonding through music, and all of knives becoming part of the band... the whole thing with todd and wallace was absolutely nuts...

i thought it was nice expanding on all the exes stories and having ramona go in and make up with (most of) them. the story with roxie was particularly good and had me tearing up! and i was absolutely sobbing by the end of the series haha although i think a lot of it had to do with the nostalgic angle for me and how much i'd loved the movie as a teen hahaha and then having the story come back for a third time in my life in a way that felt kinder and more redemptive was really something.

at first i was sad they didn't get into things like steven being gay but then i realised... ofc with it ending in a similar place 'let's try this' but also really it actually ended chronologically not long after the original story starts... it had me realise oh actually there's still so much possiblity for these characters and their lives. they could still have a lot of those adventures and discoveries that happen in the later comics even if we don't see them, it ends on the hopeful note that lets you know they're all going to try, even in the face of knowing that it Could All Go Wrong as shown by older scott & ramona's story, that there is always hope and they may as well give it a shot. BUT i also thought that part with Ultimate Ramona saying "i'm probably going to struggle with this later, so let me tell you this now, i love you" IDKKK i know to that-timeline scott that's early af but to ultimate ramona it's a real present thing since she's got all of that knowledge and history inside her. ANYWAY MADE ME EMOTIONAL also loved the visual reference to the kiss from the end of ponyo :')

.............ramona RE-BLEACHING and dyeing her hair THAT much was absolutely insane though 🤣 i've seen ppl say 'WITH A DEVELOPER BASE!?' too although I PERSONALLY believe she was maybe. mixing with conditioner. that's the only thing i could think of that would make it even remotely acceptable to bleach it that much (but also its a cartoon so ofc not realistic haha)

also i THOROUGHLY enjoyed the nicholas angel & danny butterman cameos 🤣 i was like wait why are these two security guards english.....? oh wait. oh okay. i see.

[al-the-remix]

Ghost!Tommy AU Brainstorming:

Okay I still have a fic to finish, but I've been toying with this idea for afterwards: set during season 6 where Buck returns from his coma dream with the ability to see ghosts. Once back at the 118 he starts seeing mild signs of ghosts everywhere: orbs and partial apparitions, more like echos of memories trapped at the sites of tragedies that full fledged spirits. The one exception is obviously Tommy who appears more realized to him than all the others. Tommy, who's been trapped in the firehouse for 7 (??? what is the timeline) years. 

I need to go rewatch season 6 to figure out some plot and character beats, but I like the idea that as Buck is struggling to come to terms with everything from the coma dream, and all the baggage that comes along with dying and coming back to life, he has this person to talk to that's–at least on the death side of things–been there before. I still want him to meet Natalia, and have a connection with her and they begin to date or are friends who are just hooking up casually (and have a lot more to talk about, lol). But at the same time Buck struggles with being drawn to Tommy like a magnet, this person who isn't even alive. 

I haven't quite settled on what Tommy's backstory is going to be beyond Chim not being able to save him in time during the gas explosion in season 2. But some of the things Buck fears the most are dying and people moving on without him and not remembering him. So when he starts seeing Tommy and realizes that he was part of the 118 and died and…no one ever talks about him? There could be so much potential connection there. (Obviously there's a deeper reason why Hen and Chim don't bring Tommy up, chiefly shame and guilt, but Buck doesn't know that quite yet.)

I don't know if I'd keep the sperm donor plot line. I'm not a hater, but I feel like recovering from dying, a death doula girlfriend, and a ghost boyfriend, is a lot for one guy to deal with all at once. Instead I think I'd like to bring Albert back into the fold in one way or another. I really enjoyed his friendship with Buck and was sad when he pretty much disappeared from the show. I just see this as a fic where the Buckley-Hans really lean on each other. 

I'd like to keep the tone of the fic not too heavy, and retain a good amount of humor even while Buck is thinking he's going a little insane seeing dead people and having a torrid, seemingly doomed, love affair with one of those dead people. 

One of the things I appreciate so much about the show is its ability to balance humor and angst, as well as developing this campy atmosphere where it's totally not out of the realm of possibility to have ghosts, and cursed bracelets, and magic fire truck that can drive you all over Los Angeles in midday traffic without the building burning down before you get there…

I'd prefer a happy ending, but I'll write a heartbreaking one if I think it fits. The difficulty with ghost aus, if you're going to have the love interest come back to life it's got to feel earned, and fit within the rules of the universe you've set up, and that's not always an easy thing to accomplish. 

I think if I wanted to bring Tommy back to life it could go two differently ways: either I could veer into full crack–which I'm not opposed to doing–but is really going to need the right set up (unless we're all cool with Buck and his hot zombie bf 🥰 )

But the more likely option is some time loop shenanigans as a fix-it. Buck is able to solve whatever preternatural puzzle I set up for him with his big brain and endless imagination, fixing whatever bad timeline they're in and making it so Tommy never actually dies. They say their goodbyes and Tommy ““goes back””--whatever that means with context–and Buck's all alone again. The firehouse feels so empty now without Tommy around. And the more days that pass by the more Buck worries that his big plan didn't actually work at all (maybe in here either everyone at the firehouse does actually forget Tommy ever existed for a little while because of yet to be established hand-wavey reasons or Buck's too afraid to ask about him/look Tommy up incase it didn't work and he really did lose him forever–preparing for that reality and living it are two totally different ball games–)

Until one day they have to call in air support at an emergency and suddenly Chim yells “Hey, there's Tommy!” and when Buck whips around sure enough there he is. And Buck's all like “can you introduce me to your friend? 👀” to Chim and Tommy's all like “have we met before? I feel like I know you from somewhere 🤔”. Tommy doesn't remember Buck (right away?) but here's this man who is SO CUTE and hot and smart and funny, and weirdly, like, super into him? And he pulls Chim aside like “why haven't you introduced me to this man before? Have you been holding out on me? What about my romcom happy ending?” And Chim is like “I didn't even know that he was into men!!” Meanwhile, Buck’s just hovering in the background full heart-eyes mode waiting to woo the fuck out of his man (the best he can without sticking his foot in his mouth)...

They exchange numbers and agree to meet for a drink after their respective shifts end and at the bar Tommy asks how Buck knows what beer he prefers, and Buck's all cocky like “I guess I have good taste in more than just my men 😏” and Tommy is caught, hook line and sinker. 

After that it's happily ever after for them, and Natalia is one of Buck's "groomsmen" at the wedding (they're all bffs now.) The end. 😌