#maybe i'll delete this in the morning

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

many random stuff under the cut

was finally drawin eddie's cousin and i thought. what if. what if i drew smth like cig cards but w female characters from fp files............ like since i randomly decided to switch to more realistis style........... but i know that tomorrow (well today bc its 1am) i'm probly gonna let that idea go but god sees i'd love to make this. not all of them? bc there's like 9 of the ones i really focused on. n there's only 5 who participate in the plot of this thing im writin so idk (and lauretta isnt even here fr this upsepts me so much but there's no way i'm rewritin the concept) anyway i haven't properly worked on eddie's cousin since she's a bg character w only one meaningful & important arc but idk realised that she has vibes of nina from carnaval (1981).... <- another soviet film 😭

chaotic personality, superficiality but a lot of energy and life (and desperation). + maybe ref to eddie's cousin and her husband (have u seen him tho? he's ridiculous) i think i need to rewatch carnaval. brilliant film

^ also this! i don't imply this to eddie's cousin character, but this song is so! maybe it could fit some of female characters idk i need to think bout this (main lyrics: Call me, for God's sake! (then yearning but ends with:) if i don't mean anything in your life anymore; i'll forget about you; i won't stop breathing; i'll still be happy; even if I don't have you) next

lisa rubini the ultimate mother you are.......... not the best one but she's so real to me. some hc things: i think she worked as a seamstress and before Eddie started earning money was the main source of income for the family. this may not be true for the era, i'm honestly just transferring what happens very often here when women takes over all the responsibilities (the father is either an alcoholic or unemployed or just not there) + this as another reason for the conflict between Lisa and her husband. & because she worked as a seamstress for a long time she developed carpal tunnel syndrome as she got older (i've been told about this problem by several seamstresses). i was just thinking that i often see Eddie & Lisa in my head, with Eddie holding Lisa's hands & carpal tunnel syndrome could be the reason y know? bout eddie's cousin - i think she's Lisa's niece, not Cecilio's

+ some hc bout Cecilio. i think he was a christian & went to church every sunday. there's deep christian guilt but he still beats his wife n son & drinks hard & gamble (Marmeladov from crime & punishment is low-key my ref for him). there's a lot in here about unrealized fulfillment in life (emigration that didn't do any good)

thnx for comin to my ted talk goodnight yall

[sainz100]

2024 Abu Dhabi GP

[lesbianherald]

so i know you're trying to process Coming Home being the top fic now but bestie are you aware that you hit 30k kudos?

ok. ok ok okok.

As a warning, I'm going to get really weird and personal here.

I got these this morning. Just like with the last one I have no idea what to do with this or how to appropriately deal with it lmao but to everyone who has been so nice - thank you. so much? this is a number so unfathomable to me that I've been trying to sit with it all day and simply cannot process it as real.

I don't want to care about numbers. I want to be super cool and chill and above that. but this is a really big one. and I think it also is really reflective of how big this community has grown. I've decided it would be odd not to acknowledge it.

This is one of the craziest, kindest, most lovely things that has ever happened to me. It feels so incredible and validating to know my work reached some people. That is quite literally all I want to do with my life. And now it feels like I might be able to with my own stuff. But its a lil deeper than that too. All the comments and support have genuinely been such an amazing balm during a really dark time in my life.

At the start, this fic was always a method of escapism for me. I've been under so much pressure in my real life. I'm in a really weird, really competitive transitional point. everything I write irl may make or break the rest of my career. It is a type of pressure I'm incredibly grateful and privileged to have, but still stressful nonetheless.

But then, as i was writing this fic, it became way more of a lifeline. Not to get too personal, and idk if people paid attention to my end notes, but if you did you'll note I fell victim to the ao3 curse last October in a really big way. I lost a dear friend of mine very suddenly.

Starting coming home was a way for me to write something just to write it, knowing that I could be myself and do whatever I want and just throw shit at the wall without worrying about anything. after my friend passed away, the escapism of it became that much more valuable. (btw I would not post about it were I not in a much better place with it so don't worry about me <3)

I feel like maybe it's important at this point to explain the meaning of all the support because I've genuinely been unable to express it in a way I find appropriate. every piece of art every sweet comment etc. etc. helped get me through this really weird, sad, shocking time. As "cringe" as it might seem... fandom and fanfic can be really meaningful, powerful, and connective.

All this being said. coming home was definitely released in the right time for this to happen. A multichapter released right before and during season 2 as well as in the months after? Like. It was primed for this a bit (not intentionally but still) So many fics that get posted now deserve the same amount of love and support.

I really hesitate with numbers. sharing them, abiding by them, gaining value from them. I also get nervous about how people will feel entitled to treat me because of them. But this is so insane it feels weird not to say a bigger thank you.

[yumeyumeappleo]

donnie i drew idk

[drabblesandimagines]

Drabbles

I'm poorly and is it really so much to ask for either Leon, or Clive, or Halsin or Gale to come look after me? 🤒

-

Halsin would be great at it as a healer by trade. Rest is what he prescribes most, but he knows all of nature's remedies that will help ease any ailments you are suffering with. The more bitter-tasting ones he tries to sweeten with only the finest honest for his beloved - he hates when you grimace, only ever wants to bring a smile to your face.

He stays by your side, catering to your every whim, regaling you with stories from his youth when you don't want to sleep. Sometimes he'll sit you in his lap, cheek pressed against his chest and the vibrations of his dulcet tones, as well as kisses to your crown lull you to sleep.

--

Gale I kinda picture sending his mirror image to be at your side with pre-set comforting words, even using mage hand to bring you things from a safe distance, especially when he's still got the orb.

You: "It's just a cold, Gale. I'm only sneezing."

Gale: "My darling, what is to you a simple sneeze for me could literally be a city-levelling event!"

Once he deems you no longer a threat, he dotes on you for days after to make up for the absence of his physical touch.

And, of course, you have no qualms of milking it for weeks after.

--

Clive would fuss over you like a mother hen, running himself ragged fetching you whatever you needed, forgoing sleep in case you need him - despite Tarja'e repeated assurances that you would be just fine after a few days of rest.

Someone mentions a rare bloom the other side of Valisthea that will ease your sore throat? He's off to fetch it at once (the Cursebreakers offer but he will hear none of it), and even though you are recovered by the time of his return, he has made sure to bring enough to sow in the Backyard for future patients.

Him being one of them, of course, after running himself down to the point of exhaustion, but you return the favour of staying by his side - it is rare for him to be in one place for so long, after all.

--

Kinda alluded to this in a fic, but if Leon had just returned from a mission containing anything to do with viruses and you mention you don't feel good, he's immediately pulling in the strings to make sure he's not contaminated you somehow.

After it's confirmed everything is fine, he is in his element. Leon likes to have an assignment to keep his mind occupied and nursing you back to health is of top priority. He orders all sorts of soups from your favourite deli, making sure you dutifully take your medicine and stay hydrated, all whilst cuddling up with you in bed inbetween.

When you warn him that he'll get sick, he scoffs. Says he's had enough viruses in his bloodstream over the years not to be afraid of the common cold.

[unmotivated-student]

[After THAT conversation with Cellbit, Natalan was talking about how Cellbit and Baghera basically destroyed his armor]

Duxo: ah no mames, you should've told them to give you a new one [armor].

Natalan: No, I asked for it, it's okay.

Duxo: [*laughs*] No... so sad...

Natalan: For messing with married men bro.

Duxo: You didn't do anything wrong Natalan, you didn't do anything wrong...

Natalan: For messing with married men bro.

Duxo: But you didn't mess with married men.

Natalan: Now he is married, I reminded him [that he and Roier were together in the past] and it hurt him, he couldn't stand it.

Duxo: well, it's true he couldn't stand it... Well, in fact you did get married, because weren't you married to Rodezel? And then you also cheated on him with me...

Natalan: Yeah! You were a witness.

Duxo: Yes but you cheated on him with everyone.

Natalan: You were a witness.

bro knew what he was doing and he didn't give a fuck, they were married for like five seconds and he still decided to get in front of Cellbit and say "yes yes, I was also married to him, you're not special" [obviously not using those words xd] even when he was killed by Cellbit and the chat said to him something like "you should've told him about the child you had" he just went "haha yeah, I should've done that" even though he didn't even remembered well the kid's name.

Que grande

[off-mozzarella]

Perhaps I just needed to paint my nails pink and make some bad traditional doodles 😌

In al seriousness, I've been drawing digitally a lot because I want to get better at it, but nothing beats the feeling of pencil and paper

Aaaand when I draw digitally I stress so much over all the brushes I can use, but I love just using my mechanical pencil <3

[arttsuka]

Out of curiosity, what character(s) do I remind you of?

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

[existentialcrisistime]

if I may get a bit introspective for a moment:

the thing is. the thing is I mostly don't celebrate christmas (day) because I'm unable to - it's just me, no family home to go to, limited time off to travel the distance etc etc - but somehow over the past few years it's pivoted around to mostly being by choice, even though it's not much of a choice, and that's okay by me.

I've not had a christmas with my own family since 2013, of course stopped having christmasses with my ex's family when we broke up, took a couple of mismatched christmasses after that - at the local café; at the house of a friend who couldn't go home due to covid - but this will be year 4 of having a solo nic-mas. the first time was somewhere between joyful and desperate, but now I've got it down to a fine art of it being just another day but with less obligations.

of course I still enjoy the gift giving with friends, and sending things down to the family, and making cards for everyone, but family christmas growing up was often a turbulent and stressful time, so it's nice in a way to simply opt out. I've had friends invite me to their family christmasses over the years, but I know playing happy families would make me feel sad, so now I think they've just stopped asking, accepted it's one of my weird quirks. and I'm not opposed to spending the day with people if the opportunity arises, it'd just have to be very much on my own terms

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

idk i think it fucking sucks that the only art i see for persona fics nowadays is art that was commissioned

[monster-noises]

Mm ...

(pls read the tags first)

Not feeling so much Suicidal(passive, to be clear) as much as i simply feel i do not deserve to be alive, and that i am simply not needed in the world.

Not that the world would be better off without me

Just that I'm not really helping anything and if I'm out of the way perhaps someone better can take up that space instead.

[dahlingplease]

can.

we have.

nuanced talk about the concepts of corercion, consent, autonomy and desire

Through the lens of the pilot program barking for best girl Sam Britian

or are we going. To be unable to.

[pardonmydelays]

you'd think it's finally getting better, i found a job i don't hate yet, i have my amazing friends, i live in my favourite city in the world, & yet... i feel like something's missing.

[tardis--dreams]

Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

Having a serious George Michael moment at two am.