#maybe i will actually write toda y

[lunaerosa]

❝ i feel the exact same as last year. ❞

[modelbus]

YOOOO MODDLEE

yeah I did it again.

(Help I have a problem of disappearing into thin air)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PART THREE OF CUT CHAOS SHEBSJNSUH

you said you would write 500 chapters.. but like obviously exaggerating..? (Kiddinggg)

tho a few more couldn’t hurt..

juuuust saying if you ever feel like it I will eventually see it and it will eventually make my week. <3333

BUT THATS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE! (I’m sorry my requests are always so long and dramatic bro I just brain like that)

Actual request:

ok so like I knowww cut chaos started from rumours but like rumours are an easy way to start plot lines k? (Also I use she pronouns out of habit but they is pog too)

the friends in question: Tommyinnit (duh), Wilbur (moosic boi), Ranboo (generation loss trauma guy), Possibly Slimecicle?? I know he’s not someone you do requests for normally buttt if you’re okay with it that would be POG, or if slime is a no, tubbo!

SO a few months ago Y/N started working on an SMP with some minimal custom mods, some fancy texture packs, maybe some data packs, and its like this BIGGG project, BUT its not public and its taking a lot of her time, so she can only really do a few streams and most of the time because her schedule is so full its hard to work out streams with friends so, she is alone. with the internet being the internet people started to think something was up, some annoyed viewers made a few rumours and people kept making things up and escalating things until people were saying she did all sorts of horrible things to “lose all her friends” but one of the most popular theories was that she was emotionally abusing them (??? Internet wildin ig) she ignored them while mostly finishing the stuff for the smp, but decided to address it in a very- y/n way. Getting four friends to come to her house and hide slightly off camera while she made a purposefully bad apology video only for them to jump out at the end and her to stand up and be like “YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SOME MASTER MANIPULATOR?! I’M JUST A FUNKY LITTLE CHAOTIC MINECRAFT GOBLIN N’ I’VE BEEN WORKING ON AN SMP THIS WHOLE TIME!! ITS GONNA BE SUPER COOL AND THESE FOUR PLUS ALOOOOT MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE THERE I’M POSTING THE CREATORS SOON AND ITS LAUNCHING IN A MONTH!, SO STOP ASSUMING I’M A BAD PERSON AND GET PUMPED BITCHES!” something along those lines, maybe at the end a little peek at what people are responding with. (Obviously no pressure, but like id be cool) (thanks for considering deity of the busses and models.)

HOW WE LIKING THE SILLIES?!?

P.S I’m not always an angst gremlin (just most of the time..) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

I DO BE LIKING THE SILLIES (and thank you for elevating me to the level of deity, my ego has been inflated)

Pairing: Cc! Wilbur, Tommy, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle x Gn!Reader (platonic)

Roaring Rumors

Life was all about sacrifices.

Or, that’s what you keep telling yourself when you’re up at 1AM working on your server. Putting together an SMP is harder than it sounds; texture packs, data packs, comparability, world-building, even the (seemingly) simply act of contacting people to play on it. For the amount of time you spent on your computer, your hands might as well be part of your keyboard.

Sleep wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. Streaming, even just fun ones with your friends, had quickly became rare. Although you loved to hop on a call while coding still, your online presence had severely receded.

You just keep telling yourself that sacrifices are necessary. That the payoff would be worth it.

And it really would be, but you just had to get there first. Which was proving harder than you had thought.

At the very least, you still had your friends. Wilbur sitting silently on call with you while you work, Tommy dragging you out of your room, Ranboo always willing to get excited over your progress. Every day you woke up with a text from your groupchat—typically Charlie—just filling you in on the latest internet trend by a meme.

Today, your news comes from Wilbur and Tommy.

“I think they’re canceling you.” Wilbur says casually while you’re in the midst of detailing the hunger bar for a texture pack.

“Ooh, you’re a wrong’un!” Tommy yells in the background of Wilbur’s side of the call.

The three of you had been idly chatting while each doing your own thing. Wilbur and Tommy were engaged in some Twitter competition, as far as you know.

“Canceling me for what?” You ask, deciding to ignore Tommy’s shouting.

“Existing, I think.” Wilbur answers.

“So the normal.”

“The normal.”

Although the conversation stops there, you can’t help yourself. Later, during one of the few hours you dedicate to getting sleep to stay alive, you pull open Twitter on your phone. Your last tweet was nearly two weeks ago, so it’s been a minute.

But you just want to make sure nothing horrible happened while you were busy. You’re a content creator, this is normal. Definitely. You definitely aren’t just justifying this so you can do it.

You swipe through tweets, heading to trending and searching your name. Tweets load, making your mouth run dry. Wilbur wasn’t joking.

All you can do is scroll, reading as the messages get wilder and wilder. From people saying they were missing you to theories on why nobody was streaming you. Each one seemed considerably more implausible, and before you know it you’re glaring at your screen like it’s to fault.

Some thought you had grown apart.

Some thought you had a falling out.

And, apparently, a lot thought you were emotionally abusing them. Or, depending on the tweet, manipulating them.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even know how they got the idea. The long threads of explanations did nothing but send you into a spiral, biting your bottom lip so hard that it bleeds.

You were so close to finishing the SMP. It needed just a few things, then you'd be able to start scheduling to get it up and running. You didn't have the time nor mental capacity to deal with whatever the fuck is going on right now.

Is it a good choice? Maybe not. But do you still ignore the accusations? Hell yes.

-

By the time you get even closer to finishing the preparations for your SMP, you've come up with the perfect plan to address the (quite stupid) rumors. It'll be a two-in-one; you address the rumors and announce the SMP at the same time.

"How long do I have to lay on this floor?" Tommy asks, stretched out behind your chair.

"Nobody asked you to lay on the floor." Wilbur points out, standing next to your computer. Charlie, on the other side, laughs.

"Yeah man, you wanted to be down there."

"Besides, I'm doing great down here!" Ranboo chimes in.

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I'm about to start stream, so it won't be for much longer. Just wait for my cue, yeah?"

Tommy grumbles, but shuts up. You take that as your chance to start the stream, switching it off your waiting screen and waving to the camera. Your chosen stream title has brought in a bit more than your usual casual steam view number, "Talking about some serious stuff," leading people to believe there will be drama. And if it's drama they want, it's drama you'll give.

"Hello, hello!" You smile, leaning back. "So I've decided to talk about some things. Namely, the Twitter shit. I am so sorry for everything, and I mean that. A lot. Sincerely. There's meaning in it."

Tommy snorts, and from the corner of your eye you catch Wilbur kick him to shut him up.

"What am I sorry about?" You ask rhetorically, acting like you read it off of chat. "Oh, you know. People have been saying all types of stuff. The things about me manipulating my friends?" There's a pause while you let that sink in. "So, I'm sorry."

It's a purposefully shitty apology, but you sigh and act like its heartfelt for a few moments, nodding towards chat. Their messages are mostly confused, especially because it isn't one emote-only.

"Sorry you guys are so gullible!" You shout, and Tommy practically tackles you.

Wilbur's the one to fix your chair, Ranboo and Charlie appearing next to you within moments.

"You guys really thought this one could manipulate me? The master?" Charlie asks the stream, pointing at you.

"Yeah!" Tommy shouts, way too energetic for someone who complained five minutes ago about being on the floor. "We're the master manipulators! Get fooled!"

"I, for one, haven't manipulated anyone-" Ranboo starts, but Tommy slaps a hand over his mouth and nods empathetically.

"Yeah, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I've just been playing fucking Minecraft for the past few months nonstop." You laugh.

"Nonstop. It's a problem." Wilbur nods.

"It is not a problem!" Pause. "Anyways, I made an SMP! And that's where I've been! Not because I've been manipulating my friends or some shit, stop being dumbasses."

"It'll be super cool!" Ranboo adds in helpfully.

"These four-"

"That's us!" Charlie points around at himself, Wilbur, Tommy, and Ranboo.

"-will be on it, plus a lot more. It'll be posting those people soon! As in, check your Twitter obsessively guys! The SMP will be in about a month, too, so get fucking excited! I want to see some hype!"

"WOO!" Tommy screams, making everyone cringe at having their eardrums ruptured.

"So that's all I wanted to talk about I think. Anything to add, guys?" You glance around at the four surrounding you with a grin.

"One thing." Charlie nods, leaning in really close. "I have a secret. This SMP, it's actually-" He hits your end stream button mid-sentence. "And that's how you keep 'em interested."

-

Ycgmaenthusist NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP

Mammalianeighingreflecenthusiest We are dumb as fuck aren’t we

Poabsenthusiest i will RIOT IN THE STREETS if any of yall be mean to MY STREAMER -> Cmwylenthusist FR I GOT TWO FISTS AND A CAUSE

[rip-us-xoxo]

The park- Draco Malfoy x Reader (REPOST)

Posted DECEMBER 06, 2020

Reposted APRIL 16, 2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Request- hii! could u please write christmas prompt #6 with draco? maybe he’s at the park with scorpius and loses sight of him. while desperately looking for his son, he bumps into the reader who’s been the love of his life since they were little. fluffiest fluff of them all pleaseeeeee❤

Hii! I find Dad!Draco so flippin’ cuuute! Tysm for requesting!

——————————————————————————

Warnings- nothing, just fluffff and Dad!Draco

——————————————————————————

It was a cold December day, the leaves were frozen off the trees and the floor was covered in snow. The park was in no condition to be played on, but children still went there to play with their friends in the snow. 

Draco and his son, Scorpius, were disliked by many. People were still wary of Draco because of all of the death eater and Voldemort drama, meaning that they passed that fear and hatred down to their children.

Scorpius had a hard time making friends, and to be honest, he didn’t have any which broke Draco’s heart. So, Draco brought him to the park everyday in hopes that someone would want to be friends with his son.

 Being a single dad was tough, Astoria had left for reasons unknown, she just left the moment Scorpius was born and left Draco with a son to raise on his own.

“Scorpius, look at me,” Draco told his son, who looked adorable bundled up in black and blue winter coats. “I want you to talk to some kids, don’t mention me, just talk to them,” Draco told his son, it was the same thing that he told Scorpius every time. 

Scorpius nodded very big and said, “Okay daddy!” before running off to go play in the snow. Draco smiled and sat down on a bench. 

While people walked by, Draco tried to smile at them but they just glared. He rolled his eyes slightly and leaned back into the bench with a huff. “I shouldn’t have been such a jerk,” he groaned and leaned back while covering his eyes, rubbing them slightly before removing his hands and putting them back in his lap. 

He looked over at all of the kids to see Scorpius trying really hard to make friends, that made Draco smile. He looked around a bit, taking in the scenery of the sunny but cold day. 

He then looked back over at the group of kids, but to his dismay, Scorpius wasn’t making friends anymore. Actually, Scorpius wasn’t there at all. 

Draco stood up and tried to look around to see if he could find Scorpius from a higher angle. “Scorpius?” he called out, there was nothing. Draco started to panic, “Scorpius?!” he shouted again. 

He frantically speed walked around the park, looking under everything, even pushing aside some snow in hopes that he would find his 5 year old son. 

While he was frantically walking around, he bumped into something. “Ah!” both people groaned as they stepped away. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re- Draco?” you stopped suddenly. Draco met your eyes, “Y/l/n?”. 

“Draco!” you exclaimed, “I haven’t seen you in forever!”. 

His heart thumped at your angelic voice. “Y-Yeah, me neither!” Draco mentally scolded himself, “Ya, no shit Draco,” he mumbled making you giggle. He smiled slightly, now his heart was beating out of his chest, it wasn’t only from panicking about Scorpius, it was the fact that he had been in love with you all throughout school, and apparently still was. 

Speaking of Scorpius, “I’m sorry, it’s not a good time. My son is somewhere making snow angels,” he told you, he didn’t want to leave but he needed to find Scorpius, he was his one priority. 

“Your… what?” you blinked, your throat going dry. “My son, his name is Scorpius, have you seen him? I don’t know where he is,” Draco said shakily hurriedly. “Oh,” you croaked out, “um, no I haven’t,” it went silent for a second. 

“Where is his mom?” you asked, hoping that Draco was single. “Oh, she left when he was born. It’s been me and the little guy for 5 years, he’s the best thing to have ever happened to me. Well besides seeing you here today,” he flirted, making your cheeks flush red. 

“You’re still the same, flirty and arrogant,” you laughed, “oh how I missed that,” you sighed. You too, coincidentally, have been in love with him since first year. 

Before Draco could respond, his head snapped in the direction of a child screaming, “Daddy!”. “Scorpius!” he exclaimed, holding out his arms and catching a body who rammed into him, “Oh thank godric, you’re alright. You scared me buddy.”. 

Scorpius mumbled a ‘sorry daddy’ before looking over at you. “Hi Y/n!” he greeted and waved. “Oh, hi little man,” you said and waved back. 

“Have you met my friend, Y/n. I met her while I was looking for you, she insisted that she helped me find you, but I told her I was tough enough to find you,” he said and puffed out his chest and flexed his muscles, making you and Draco laugh. 

“Yes, I have met her, she and I used to go to school together,” Draco told him, Scorpius gasped. “You mean, we have the same friend?! Does that mean she can come over? You said friends can come over!” he exclaimed giddily. 

Draco looked up at you, “Would you like to come over love?”. You blushed even more and said, “Only if you want me too.”. “We would love for you to come over,” Draco smiled.  

“She’s very pretty, don’t you agree daddy?” Scorpius asked and cocked his head up to his dad. Draco looked over at you and looked at all of your features, you were still perfect to him. 

“I think she is very pretty too,” he told him while smiling at you. “Aw, stop it, you’re making me blush,” you giggled and then shivered a bit, it was getting really cold. 

“Is she coming over? I want her to come over!” Scorpius asked impatiently while stomping his feet. “I think she would like that, it is rather freezing out here,” Draco looked at you, “you’re shaking.”. “Y-Yeah, it’s a bit chilly,” you chattered and rubbed your arms, trying to get warm. 

“Come here,” Draco said and took off one of his coats, it looked expensive. “Oh no, it’s quite alright,” you brushed him off and shivered once more. 

“I insist,” he said and wrapped it around your shoulders. You were instantly filled with warmth. 

“Alright,” Draco said and picked up Scorpius with a huff, “let’s go m’lady and m’lord.”. You giggled as Draco pulled you into his side while you started to walk. 

To anyone on the outside, you would have looked like a small family, but only you and Draco knew that it was the start of something beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo

[spanishskulduggery]

Ohi there!

I made this u/n forever ago so ill probably keep it no matter the answer to this, but I've always wondered if it should be 'chic@ con pelo rosado'? Or maybe better 'de pelo rosa(do)'? It just feels... awkward to me, but I can't place my finger on it.

I know there are words for the 'hairèdness' of someone (e.g. moren@, rubi@, etc.), for lack of a better term, but since it's not a natural color (on hair or in general), I'm not sure how that would work. I've always wondered how accurate it was lmao

(Also side note, which article do you use for gender neutral lmao is it 'l@'?)

First, it could be either

chico con pelo rosa / rosado is "boy with pink hair"; and chico de pelo rosa / rosado is "the pink-haired boy"

Both are acceptable, but the de kind of makes you think of using a hyphen

Note: You may also see el cabello used for "hair" when it's specifically hair on the head

But you're right that there are certain words for hair colors:

rubio/a = blond

pelirrojo/a = red-head, "ginger"

moreno/a = dark-haired / brunette de/con cabello/pelo castaño = brown-haired

de/con pelo/cabello caoba = auburn-haired

cano/a = white-haired, gray-haired [as opposed to pelo cano or pelo blanco / gris]

de/con pelo/cabello negro = black-haired pelinegro = black-haired [less common still used sometimes]

This also applies to hair texture/length... corto/a "short", largo/a "long", liso/a "smooth/straight (hair)", rizado/a "curly/wavy", and calvo/a "bald"

-

Two options for gender neutral - the @ makes the most sense in writing when you're including everyone not specifically talking about a particular person like tod@s is "everyone (male and female)", or el/la chic@ maybe

The way a company might do it is to include both: un/una alumno/a "a student" for example, or se busca un/una empleado/a "looking for an employee"

The other way a company or someone official might do it is to include both options; damas y caballeros "ladies and gentlemen" or todos y todas "everyone"

-

Less official but still used especially by the younger generation and for times when you are really talking about one person in particular: the general idea for gender neutral is the use of -e

So it would be le chique "the young person" gender neutral

For non-binary groups, it would probably be les chiques or saying todes "everyone". I would tend to assume it works like feminine does that nosotras "we" is for only women in the group, nosotros is either a mixed group or all men... so nosotres would be like everyone NB, but in a mixed group I would expect to see nosotros

And so it would be rubie, pelirroje, morene, cane etc.

But be really careful because depending on where you're saying/using it, it might not be regarded as correct or you might be mistaken for using French or Italian

The "default" way to talk about someone non-binary or gender neutral is either to assume masculine until proven otherwise, or to use gender neutral language that's a bit impersonal... such as la persona que tiene (el) pelo/cabello negro "the person that has black hair", or alguien con (el) pelo/cabello azul "someone with blue hair"

-

Side Note just in case you were confused rosa can be used as "pink", rosado/a is more explicitly the adjective form "pink" or "rosy". They are both correct as adjectives, just that rosa doesn't change for gender so it could confuse some people

I know in my textbooks for colors they wrote anaranjado/a "orange" [lit. "orange-y"] instead of naranja "orange", and they wrote rosado/a "pink" instead of rosa

When using an actual noun as an adjective, they don't change gender; so la rosa is "rose", el rosa is "the color pink", rosa is just pink

You can also see this with caoba "mahogany" or "auburn", plata "silver" [as opposed to plateado/a], oro "gold" [instead of dorado/a "golden"], bronce "bronze" [instead of bronceado/a "bronzed / tanned"]

And some other words like márfil "ivory", ébano "ebony", castaño "brown/chestnut", café or color café "coffee colored" aka "brown", or something like lila "light purple" and turquesa "turquoise"

All colors are masculine when talking about them; all colors taken from nouns will not change as adjectives - la camisa turquesa "turquoise shirt" vs. el abrigo turquesa "turquoise coat" for example... And la turquesa means "turquoise" often the gemstone, and el turquesa means "the color turquoise"

[ameri-blog]

Eres Mía

Disclaimer: I dont have an excuse for poor grammar and spelling besides the fact that i slept in almost every spelling/writing class since i was in 4th grade up until i graduated. I also don’t double check my writing after im done. And this song has like no big impact on the story, its just that i was listening to this as i wrote.

You felt so guilty for the way you texted your ex, Miguel O’ Hara. You wanted him for lustful reasons but you had a boyfriend that you truly loved, or not, you weren’t quite sure if you were in denial about being in love with Miguel or you were just bored that you subconsciously decided to gaslight yourself into liking him? Either way, you did feel some way towards him and your current boyfriend figured it out when he went through your phone…

“Listen, You shouldn’t have even went through my phone in the first place! Dónde está la confianza en la pinche relación?!” You yelled at your current boyfriend who had your phone in his hand. You weren’t mad that he went through your phone, you were mad that you got caught and were ashamed and embarrassed.

“Oh shut your trap, Y/n. I had suspicions so I had every damn right to go through it! And quit with your Spanish shit talking. You know more than anyone that I can’t understand shit you say!” Your boyfriend yelled back as he put your phone in his pocket as he stood a bit far from you. You guys had been yelling at each-other non-stop for a few minutes so things were getting heated.

“Be quiet, I can talk how ever i want! Just give me back my phone! We both know how this ends, you give it back, you get salty and leave for a few days before coming back to me again!” You were right, you guys always argued about whatever and he left for days on end and while he did, you and Miguel always did something that you both didn’t regret, unless you got caught.

“Oh, fuck you! Have your phone back you skank! Maybe your ex will dick you down again and make you forget about me like always. Im leaving.” Your boyfriend said as he threw your phone towards the carpet underneath and grabbed his jacket, keys and left your house in a rush. You were a bit upset but that quickly died down as soon as you grabbed your phone from the floor.

You opened it up and decided to do what you do best, talk to your favorite ex. You start texting Miguel hoping he would answer.

*messages start here*

You: Miguellll, guess what happened? 😓

Miguel 😘♥️: your boyfriend left again?

You: mhm, for such a dumb reason too. He is just so insecure, he thinks im going to leave him for you! All you and me do is fuck…

Miguel 😘♥️: aw, pero corazón, pensé que si lo harías? Last time we had sex, i could’ve sworn that in between all those whines and moans, you were questioning why we ever broke up and you even said you might consider dating me again?

You: jaja, que gracioso. This is serious, he might actually leave me this time. If he does, im never going to find anyone that will love me as much as he did~! Me voy a morirrrrr ☹️💔

Miguel 😘♥️: okay, from what I understand, your actual boyfriend caught you talking to me and he figured out we were fuck buddies and he got mad at you and left and you’re upset because you got caught?

You: yeah

Miguel 😘♥️: I only call you a whore in bed but it looks like you really are…

You: only yours~!

Miguel 😘♥️: mhm, toda mía, sólo para que yo te use. Don’t be surprised if one day I sneak into your house and make you fully mine again infront of your boyfriend.

You: you sure im only yours? I could be having other guys’ dicks inside me for all you know 🤫

Miguel 😘♥️: no creo, corazón. Ningún hombre te puede joder de la manera que yo lo hago, correcto?

You: cállate, pendejo. 😒

Miguel 😘♥️: I love you too. Im just saying that your boyfriend surely wouldn’t mind seeing his slutty girlfriend getting fucked in every position by spiderman himself.

You: as much as i want that, no!

Miguel 😘♥️: Aw coño, que triste. Maybe I can fuck you so hard that you finally get back with me again and become allll mine again.

You: Miguel, we agreed that we wouldn’t get back together because we broke up for a reason. All though, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, you can always try~

Miguel 😘♥️: thats right, you know that im irreplaceable and that you’re all mine. Why don’t I come over now and give you a reason to get back with me?

You: pinche perro 🙄 you can try to prove it to me but it won’t work!

Miguel 😘♥️: sure, It wont work.

*messages end here*

After that conversation, you knew the answer to your question, you definitely wanted each other back, not only is the sex great but you can definitely see yourself dating him again. Hes so much more better than your current boyfriend. What ever made you think that you could replace Miguel, needs to leave your head right now.

Author’s note: guys this is so OOC for Miguel and ik bcs I have only ever seen the only version of Miguel which is movie miguel where he tweakin hella hard over a 15 yr old so i really have no idea how he would be as a romantic partner.

[theraininthestars]

PRIMER LIBRO DEL AÑO/FIRST BOOK OF THE YEAR: Love on The Brain by Ali Hazewood

Sinopsis/Synopsis: Bee Königswasser lives by a simple code: What would Marie Curie do? If NASA offered her the lead on a neuroengineering project - a literal dream come true - Marie would accept without hesitation. Duh. But the mother of modern physics never had to co-lead with Levi Ward. Sure, Levi is attractive in a tall, dark, and piercing-eyes kind of way. But Levi made his feelings toward Bee very clear in grad school - archenemies work best employed in their own galaxies far, far away. But when her equipment starts to go missing and the staff ignore her, Bee could swear she sees Levi softening into an ally, backing her plays, seconding her ideas... devouring her with those eyes. The possibilities have all her neurons firing. But when it comes time to actually make a move and put her heart on the line, there's only one question that matters: What will Bee Königswasser do?

Bee Königswasser vive con un código simple: ¿Qué haría Marie Curie? Si la NASA le ofreciera liderar un proyecto de neuroingeniería, un sueño literal hecho realidad después de años sobreviviendo con las migajas de la academia, Marie aceptaría sin dudarlo. Bah. Pero la madre de la física moderna nunca tuvo que codirigir con Levi Ward.

Claro, Levi es atractivo en una forma alta, oscura y de ojos penetrantes. Y claro, él la atrapó en sus brazos poderosamente acordonados como un héroe de novela romántica cuando ella accidentalmente se desmayó en apuros en su primer día en el laboratorio. Pero Levi dejó muy claros sus sentimientos hacia Bee en la escuela de posgrado: los archienemigos trabajan mejor en sus propias galaxias muy, muy lejanas.

Ahora, falta su equipo, el personal la ignora y Bee encuentra su carrera tambaleante en una especie de lío. Tal vez sea su corteza occipital jugándole una mala pasada, pero Bee podría jurar que puede ver a Levi ablandándose hasta convertirse en un aliado, respaldando sus jugadas, secundando sus ideas… devorándola con esos ojos. Y las posibilidades tienen todas sus neuronas en marcha. Pero cuando llega el momento de hacer un movimiento y arriesgar su corazón, solo hay una pregunta que importa: ¿Qué hará Bee Königswasser?

Expectativas/Expectations:

Estoy emocionad@. La verdad le tengo expectativas altas a este libro y creo que va a ser un 5 estrellas. Pero no quiero echar la sal. Me gusta mucho cómo Hazewood crea sus romances. No creo que vaya a ser un enemigos a enamorados, si acaso un rivales a enamorados.

Va a ver confusión, pero va a ser tiernos. Me voy a enamorar del interés amoroso y...creo que va a tener buenas escenas de smut.

I am excited. Honestly, I have a lot of high expectations for this books and think is going to be a 5 stars. But, I don't want to jinx it. I like a lot how Hazewood writes romance. I don't believe is going to be an enemies to lovers, maybe a rivals to lovers.

There is going to be confusión, but it's going to be cute. I will fall in love with the love interest and ...I think there is going to be good smut scenes.

*Esta no es la secuela de La Hipótesis del amor. This is not the sequel of The Love Hypothesis.

[rotting-charm]

why do i feel people that despise "latinx" has never cared about gender neutral word-ings and specially are cishet people. latinx, todxs, tontx, lindx, etc..., are a thing. has always been along with the change to e to make it neutral. the x itself is not to be read, its to replace it as it comes in context usually.

you not liking it or not wanting to use it is another issue. which idc cuz youre you and i am me. i'll write as i please. and so you will. all i ask is for yall people to stop erasing it and pretending words with e dont exist. Specially if you dont use e - u - i as an alternative vocal.

is it unpronunciable? maybe, thats why you say latine, todes, tonte, linde, etc... if youre speaking. i personally avoid talking with one gendered letter (ex. todas las personas que trabajan - all the people that work, instead of all the workers (in spanish would be todOs lOs trabajadorEs (which is also fun! you know? in esp, it would be a=fem o=masc e=neutral. ""officially"" O is neutral as in todOs y todAs (everybody as every man and every woman), but there are ""actual""* words that has an E to make it 1.inclusive 2.neutral, in here people usually laugh at inclusive language saying that is ridiculous or doesnt exist))) or instead, and usually the three of them (preciosAs, preciosOs y preciosEs), which is my favourite, even if it takes time - idc. also, people who use other vocals exist, lets not pretend they dont. i use it too btw! just occasionally. (lindi, tiernu, tonti).

inclusive language is as long as 2010, as far as i know, maybe and probably even longer, normies are just now getting to know about it;-) and no, stop using disabled people and sign language or braille to make it the "actual" inclusive language, bitch stfu, even they got inclusive language or a way to avoid gendered language. thats even actually another reason to use the e, x usually doesnt catch up very well with reading programs.

*i say "actual" bc fuck rae, all my homies hate the rae

i actually have a list that i keep adding to ""official"" E words (yes, im making it a meme, but seriosuly, lets keep it as "official inclusive language words" or just official words that includ all vocals i guess (and others, lets not pretend that people who use U or I dont exist). its down there copypasted, its not full but some of them bc im lazy.

-presidente

-asistente

-le

-les

-doctores

-ayudarles

-sirviente

-fumadores

-errante

-auxiliares

-docentes

-dominantes

-lectores

-especiales

-estudiante

-simple

-increíble

-salvaje

-este

-jóvenes

-adorable

-trabajadores

-aquel

-agente

-postulantes

-paciente

-manipuladores

-representantes

-ese

-precursores

[esuemmanuel]

He estado escribiendo tanto acerca de desaparecer, porque, en verdad, lo he sentido, ya no pensado. Es una necesidad tremenda que me martillea el corazón y, al mismo tiempo, nubla a mi mente, que no puedo mirar otra cosa que mi partida. Siento una decepción profunda por todo, empezando por mí, y no lo escribiré ya de forma rimbombante, sino cruda... real. Me veo en un lugar lleno de gente, pero tan vacío... tan hueco... tan yerto e infertil que se me ha ido toda la intención de comunicarme, porque, ¿para qué más se escribe sino para construir un puente entre persona y persona (mente y mente)? Conocidos míos me dicen que este no es el lugar adecuado para escribir, que estoy meando fuera del hoyo, pero, he estado en otros lugares y es igual... se repite el mismo patrón: no hay comunicación ni conexión. Quizás soy yo el que no está hecho para esto y deba aceptarlo ya. El mundo no es para todos. Algunas cosas no son para todos. Esto no es para mí. En realidad, nunca he sido bueno para las relaciones interpersonales. Soy un introvertido que ama tanto la soledad, sin embargo, en un momento pensé que podía encontrar a otros locos como yo: amantes de la palabra, entregados al arte del sentirla al leerla y, obviamente, al escribirla. Eso me motivó por un tiempo. Me entregué apasionadamente a mi arte, a mi sentir, a mi sueño, a mis ganas de encontrarme con mentes tan llenas de sueños como la mía, y no dudo haya mentes así, pero... no comulgan conmigo ni yo con ellas, y así es difícil un contacto, ya ni hablar de una conexión. Es triste, de verdad lo es. Pero, ya lo acepté. No sé si vaya a continuar escribiendo aquí después de esta honesta confesión, lo que, por el momento, sé es que me siento mejor al decirlo.

Gracias por leer a quien sea que lo haya hecho hasta hoy.

— Esu Emmanuel G©️, I have been writing so much about disappearing, because, in truth, I have felt it, no longer thought about it. It is a tremendous need that hammers my heart and, at the same time, clouds my mind, that I cannot look at anything else but my departure. I feel a deep disappointment for everything, starting with myself, and I will not write it in a bombastic way, but in a raw... real way. I see myself in a place full of people, but so empty... so hollow... so barren and infertile that all intention to communicate is gone, because what else do you write for but to build a bridge between person to person (mind to mind)? Acquaintances of mine tell me that this is not the right place to write, that I am pissing out of the hole, but, I have been to other places and it is the same... the same pattern is repeated: there is no communication and no connection. Maybe I'm the one who's not cut out for this and should just accept it. The world is not for everyone. Some things are not for everyone. This is not for me. Actually, I've never been good at interpersonal relationships. I am an introvert who loves solitude so much, yet at one point I thought I could find other crazy people like me: lovers of the word, devoted to the art of feeling it by reading it and, obviously, by writing it. That motivated me for a while. I gave myself passionately to my art, to my feelings, to my dream, to my desire to meet minds as full of dreams as mine, and I don't doubt that there are minds like that, but... they don't agree with me and I don't agree with them, and so it's difficult to make contact, let alone make a connection. It's sad, it really is. But I've accepted it. I don't know if I will continue writing here after this honest confession, what I know for the moment is that I feel better for saying it. Thank you for reading whoever has read it so far today.

[galvanizedfriend]

YYYOOOOKKKKKAAAANNNN HOLAAAAA? Recuerdas cuando te enviaba preguntas en español? Ahh, que recuerdos, hace mucho que no lo hago, creo que es porque me he sentido un poquito más cómoda con el Inglés, pero el español es muy cool jeje. LO RECUERDAS?? ugh, en español se usan los dos signos de interrogación (¿?) En portugués también? QUIERO SABER.

Te he extraño mucho, me gusta mucho mi nuevo trabajo pero extraño todo el tiempo libre que tenía antes para hablar contigo y fangirlear sobre mi diosa 😭 Lo siento, he estado un poco ausente pero siempre pienso en ti y te extraño. Espero que estés bien, que el trabajo no sea tan agotador, QUE LE ESTES DANDO MUCHO AMOR A LOLANCYY, y que ella siga siendo una perrita feliz!

Haz comido brigadeiro trufas? Yo no :(( pero ayer me comí un chocolate y estuvo muy delicioso! Cuéntame de ti, actualizame sobre tu vida. Hay algunos proyectos en los que estés trabajando? DIME TODOOO! NECESITO SABER TODOO! Hay nuevas edits que debamos esperar? No puedo esperar!!

Te molestaría que siga enviando mensajes en español? Siento que hace mucho no escribo en español y todas mis conversaciones por internet se limitan al Inglés ldhsjshjs. Es irónico.

Buenoooo, tengo que ir a trabajar pero I LAVA YOU SO MUCH. Te amo 5! No puedo esperar a mañana que es mi día libre para ponerme al día con todas tus aventuras! MUACK 🥰💖💃

Hola, Beena! Como estás? 🤩

I remember when you left me your Spanglish comments. 🤣🤣🤣 They were awesome! You would switch languages halfway through a sentence and then go back! ❤️ Been a while! Sigh 😢

I'm doing ok!! Super busy, but procrastinating as always cause it's just stronger than me. At some point I have to actually get things tho. 🤣🤣 We'll see. June, July and August will be crazy crazy. But I'm looking forward to it!

I'm so glad you like your new job! ❤️❤️ That's so great! :) We miss you around here and you've been so busy! :( But if you like what you're doing, then that's truly great. I've been at jobs where I couldn't stand it and it's the worst thing ever, having to wake up every day to do something you're not happy with. How's lil Beena? ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'll just pretend you didn't call brigadeiros trufas again......... 🙄🙄🙄 That's offensive, Beena. Pls.

I have so many edits, Beena, you wouldn't believe. lol But I have nothing to do with them, so they're just piled up here as usual. I also have been writing some stuff, but I don't know about posting anything. You can check in with my agent/publicist @recyclingss, who's currently my single reader since Luiza is busy with school. 🤣🤣🤣 Pls don't make her watch too much Atla cause she needs time to read, too. 😭😭

You can send me messages in Spanish whenever you want!! ❤️❤️ I love them!! Can't speak a word of Spanish, but I understand everything, so we're cool. It's amazing. Maybe one day I'll actually learn how to speak the language. lol Also, Portuguese doesn't use the inverse ?. We only have the normal one. ??????

Hope you have a great weekend, Beena! 💖💖💖 Muah!

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ ROJO ❜

Songfic with ‘Rojo’, J Balvin.

Translation of the lyrics.

with Nestor Oceteva.

Request #1: Can you maybe do a Nestor imagine where you're Emily's cousin or half sister and you're living with Emily and Miguel temporarily. You've been flirting and teasing him and it finally comes to a head. Smut involved please?

BY ANON.

Request #2: hi hi! I have a steamy request~! (If it's not a bother, of course) Nestor + reader are at a club and they keep teasing him,, maybe you can include lines like “shit, mami, you made a mess” and “you just want the others to hear me fuck you, huh?” 😗👉🏼👈🏼 thank youuu c:

BY @glitchinqhoul.

Warnings: nsfw, smut.

Word count: about 3.6k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author, I found it on google.

Masterlist.

A quién le mientes si en tu soledad quieres verme otra vez. Por ti respondo lo que tú me das, lo que nadie sabe…

Being Emily's half—sister hasn't been easy. She was a good student, the modelic daughter, always being kind, correct and polite. You used to be like the day and the night. But you supposed that this has to be with the fact that your blood isn't the same. She's american, and you're half—mexican. Different cultures, different cities, different people… Different lifes. But that wasn't a problem to adore each other. Emily and you have been best friends since ever, and even if you're the wild side she doesn't have, you admire her temperance.

When your college in Mexico told you that you could do the MIR at Santo Padre, you both were screaming by the phone for two minutes non-stop, until you heard Miguel telling you to stay at his home. That wasn't a bad idea, keeping in mind that you also could see Nestor every day, for the next six month. That man drives you insane since you met him, and he isn't very sane either.

You're checking the hour on the clock of your car, almost reaching the border with California, checking again that your passport and your papers signed for the University are on the copilot seat. So, when you stop at the frontier, you just have to roll down the window and offer them to the agent. Once that you're actually in American territory, you speed up by the empty road a little confused from not seeing any cars. Actually, you're just tired after almost two days driving. Because yes, you could have flown to San Diego, and rented a car. But you like your old Mustang. He has been with you since seven years ago. Coming back to reality, you see through the rearview two big black SUVs coming closer until one of them places itself after you, making you a signal to stop.

Stopping by a side, you step out of your car as Emily does, both running to each other to collide in a happy hug, screaming again and almost jumping.

“Look at you, doctora!” She says laughing and holding your hands, pulling herself away some seconds, before hugging at you again. “C'mon, let Frankie drive your car, so you can rest a little in ours”.

To your surprise, Nestor isn't the one who is driving, supposing that he's in the other black car before yours. But you're sure he's as excited as you are, waiting to have five minutes alone.

Me decido por ti, te decides por mí, a la misma hora. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

Miguel has organized a party with his sober friends. And you're not in the mood to partying, but the tequila helps a little. You're jumping from senators and other politicians, to lawyers and other rich men, just because your brother-in-law is proud of you. And that makes you feel good, but it's kinda boring. So, when you find a space to disappear, you do it at the speed of the light. Finding shelter in the big garage between expensive cars of different sizes and kinds. Resting your back against the classic red Porsche, you light up a smoke among your lips to take a deep drag. You appreciate all the love that Mikey feels for you, and all the help he always gives you, but you're not the kind of girl who has these kinds of parties.

Turning around for an instant, when you hear the door getting opened, to watch Nestor walking towards you. Rolling your eyes, you smirk at him.

“Ay, ya, no me digas que te pusieron en modo perrito guardián, flaco”. (C'mon, don't tell me that Miguel made you be a guard dog). You laugh shaking your head.

“Más o menos”. (More or less). He says taking you off the cig to smoke from it.

“Okay, ládrame, ándale”. (Okay, bark at me, go ahead).

“Soy más de morder”. (I'm more into biting).

“Mírale… Isn't too early to start with that game?”

“Nah”. He replies bowing to the floor to leave the cig, before placing both hands on your ankles, pulling up the long white skirt of your dress too slowly.

Your eyes are fixed on his, getting somewhat darker as his fingertips touch slightly your skin, until he's able to settle between your legs, that you have been opening for him unconsciously. Soon, his lips find your neck, twisting it enough to give him all the space possible. Your hands go to his head, uttering a soft moan when he nails his hands on your ass under the dress. This is your game. You have it since you met, and it's one of your favorite things. A tug of war to see who gives more.

“Fuck, Nestor”. You mutter biting your lower lip, at the same time his teeth catch your skin, putting himself somewhat closer.

Te quiero sentir aquí. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

“Hey, teens in heat, we're going to serve the coctel!” You can hear Emily's laughs from the other side of the door, making you feel your cheeks burning.

“We're going!” You reply a little loud, with Nestor chuckling against your neck.

Pulling him away to put on your dress well, you arrange your mane behind your shoulders before starting to walk back to the house. But when you're about to open the door, he grabs your wrist to make you turn around. Crashing your mouth with his, the man kisses you trying to hide how much he has missed you after five month without seeing each other. Even so, it becomes softer, slow, as if you have all the time you need. His arms surrounding your waist, and yours the back of his head. You're sure that he has never kissed you like that, but it feels too good. Nestor's touch has been ever so warm that could melt the coldest heart, actually, more or less like yours.

Tres y cuatro de la mañana, ven, mata estas ganas. Vamos a llegarle a mi cama, que todo lo he ignorado por ti, todo ha sido por ti. Mi cuerpo sin saber te llama.

You like to eat. You enjoy eating, and that coctel wasn't enough for you. So, waiting by reading some emails until the family is already sleeping, you step out of your new room silent like a cat. Going downstairs, you walk towards the kitchen to assault the freezer.

“Bendito Miguel”.

You whisper finding all the chocolate ice cream he has bought for you. Grabbing one of the tubs and a big spoon, you sit at the island in the center of the kitchen, with the lights off. And you were so concentrated on your task, that you didn't hear Nestor coming. Not even noticing his presence until he nails a second spoon into the tub.

“Shit! Nestor! Fuck… You're gonna fucking kill me one of these days”. You mutter, placing both hands on your chest, with the covered inside your mouth.

The man chuckles almost in silence, having some ice cream.

“Seriously, you need to stop of being this fucking silent”.

“Yeah, I know you like me being loud”.

Raising your eyebrows, you finally shake your head before such an occurrence.

“What about the kiss?”

“What kiss?” He asks a little confused. “Oh! Ya. What happens with that? It was just a kiss?”

“Yes, for sure”.

“I was just happy for you being here. We're friends, it's been five month since we met last time”.

Right in the friend-with-benefits zone, while you were thinking that finally he was catching the same feelings you have for him.

“Cool”.

“Cool?”

“What?”

“It sounded as if I just stabbed you”.

“Why would my friend like to stab me?”

Y estas no son horas de llamar, pero es que el deseo siempre puede más. Podemos pelearnos y hasta alejarnos, pero cuando llega la hora.

You didn't know that Miguel was a friend of the director of the hospital you're going to work at. And he settled a dinner to meet him. Another boring one, and you start to think that your brother-in-law wants to kill you and doesn't know how to do it. You love your work and what you do, but the work stays in the hospital, and you were too distracted about Nestor's words last night. You have been avoiding him the whole day, not even looking at him in the dinner, placed some meters away from the table studying the perimeter. And you know that he's getting more nervous as the hours pass by.

After finishing the meeting, you finally can breathe again inside the big car, checking some messages from your father asking how everything is going. You better don't reply. Keeping it inside your small bag, before leaning towards the front seat with both arms on them.

“Hey, Cartel daddy”.

Your sister breaks into laughs because of the sophisticated name, while Miguel turns at you frowning.

“Listen. Why don't I pull out the stick inside your ass and we go to a real party, ah? There's a new club some minutes ago from Santo Padre, and looks cool”.

“Did you ca—”.

“Hey, Pocahontas, that's the address”. You say to Nestor, offering him your phone to grab it.

Emily is drowning with her own laughs by your side, making you laugh too, when she remembers that you're not allowed to drink red wine because of this. You have the mania of giving funny names to everybody around you.

“What? Cartel daddy and Pocahontas. Sounds like a bad netflix tv-show I would watch”.

Tratan y se caen de la mata, quieren comprarte siempre con plata, pero ese tesoro tiene pirata. Me voy a toda por ti.

While the men prefer a reserved, watching the whole dancefloor from there, and talking about business and appointments, Emily and you enjoy a bunch of mimosas among the crowd jumping and having fun. You really needed it. And you're aware that she already knows that something is happening between the head security and you. Something bad. She doesn't have to be the most intelligent person of the world.

“I would tell him what I feel!” Your sister says, trying to make you hear her above the noise.

“He kicked my ass to the friend zone last night!” The blonde wrinkles her nose confused, seeing you nodding and drinking by your straw.

“Are you kidding me?! He was super excited to see you again! Like super excited!”

“Yeah! He kissed me! But he kissed me like Miguel kisses you! Then he told me it was just a kiss!”

“He's in love with you!”

“No, sista! He's only in love with your husband and with himself!”

“Tell him you don't want to be just his friend!”

“Me?! Oh, no, darling! I'm not gonna humiliate myself like that!”

“C'mon! You fucking pendejos!” She pouts at you.

“You just want Nestor to have a girlfriend, so you can spend more time with your husband! Bitch, I know you better than anyone!”

“I want my little sister to be happy!”

“You want your Cartel daddy!” Breaking into laughs, you place an arm on her shoulders to come back to the reserved.

“What's so funny?” Miguel asks pouring some champagne on two glasses.

“Your wife wants to settle me on a blind date”.

Me decido por ti, te decides por mí, a la misma hora. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

“I'm not going to let you go on a blind date”.

You were refreshing your nape and wrists with water, when you heard him coming closer after locking the bathroom door of the reserved Miguel rented. Looking at him through the mirror, you give him your back to grab some paper and dry your hands. Throwing it into the bin, you turn around to face him.

“Why?”

“It's dangerous”. He just says, tangling his hands on a fist under his abdomen.

“You stabbed me last night, and I survived. I'm pretty sure I will survive to a blind date”. Good point, taking the advantage to pass him away.

But he stops you with an arm surrounding your waist. His chest meeting your back, while his free hand wraps your throat. You're feeling the characteristic heat that Nestor produces in you being so close, running up your legs to your low belly. His thumb caresses your skin, over the jugular vein, leaning towards you to kiss the line of your jaw. Biting your bottom lip, wrapping his wrists letting the free hand goes down by your stomach with a clear destiny.

“We are made for each other”. Nestor mumbles into your ear with a horse tone of voice.

“Yes, to be friends”. You tease him, grabbing his wrist to make him stop, wanting to hear the reality coming from his mouth.

“To be together”. He corrects you then, without a single doubt hitting his vocal chords and turning you under his hands.

Crashing his lips on yours, he makes you walk backwards until your body finds the cold wall. He's as eager as you are, lifting up a leg to surround his waist, while his hand toures your skin until being able to squeeze your ass with a warm growl dying inside his throat.

“I want you in all the ways possible, (Y/N)”. He mutters, trying to hide the anger he feels imagining you with another man. “I want you with me. Only with me”.

Pulling him to the black and golden velvet armchair, you watch him undoing his belt and his pants zipper, noticing the rock under his clothes. Seeing him rolling them down his legs to his ankles, while you take off your dress to leave it over the sink, to sit over his lap with his body between your legs. You haven't taken off the white lace panties, because you know how much he likes the friction of them in every move he does, on a side of his sensible skin. While one of his big hands massage your breast with some strength, the ringed one strokes his needed cock, lying back on the couch.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” You whisper into his mouth, unbuttoning his shirt to stroke his bare chest.

“You don' know how much I need your pussy, cariño”. He just says, looking at you with parted lips grabbing his erection between your fingers.

“I don't think that's enough”. Teasing him, you guide his throbbing and warmth glans to your folds, pressing it against your wet clit and swinging softly your hips.

“I've been waiting five months for you jumping over my cock, mami. You know I am fucking desperate for your soaked pussy suffocating me and pushing me into the limit”. Nestor almost begs, placing his hands on both sides of your waist. “Ride your cock, baby. Look at how hard it's because of you. It fucking painful”.

“And what if I punish you about what you said last night… putting my clothes on again and leaving you there alone, ah?”

“Don't do that shit, (Y/N). I fucking implore you”. He quickly complains pecking your lips with short kisses. “You're already fucking killing me”.

Leading a little back his hardness between your legs, you dig it into you slowly, feeling every inch of his erection pressing your tight walls. He's thicker than you can remember, having passed too much time since the last time, needing some seconds to mold your body to his. A soft moan escapes from your mouths when his glans pushes your g-spot, urging you to spread more your legs forcing you to feel him completely. And you can't describe that sensation.

“Tell me you didn't miss my cock…” He chuckles, erasing that fancy smile from his lips by swinging your hips just one time.

His growl echoes throughout the bathroom, before catching your lips between his to bite them, making you dance on top of him. The pleasure is immeasurable, bouncing over his hard rock once and again. Once and again, arching your back under his arms, while his mouth now devours the skin of your neck, wetting it with his saliva and marking every inch with his teeth. The pace becomes rough and faster, slapping your ass with both hands to squeeze your buttocks so needed that you're desiring to feel his cum filling you up. But you like his cock pounding you.

“I'm going to make the others hear you being fucked by me, mi amor…” He bellows, making you beg when pulling out himself from you to get up.

Guiding you quickly to the sink and giving him your back, placing a hand on your nape, he makes you lean over the sink before putting aside your panties to thrust his soaked cock back to your pussy. The scream you utter when his pelvis hits you so rough, isn't normal. Being sure that your sister and Miguel already heard you. His hands nailed on your hips make each lunge deeper, watching him through the mirror the pleased look on his face, while his gaze is fixed in your. He enjoys seeing you bite your bottom lip and closing your eyes, every time he slaps you with his ringed fingers, knowing that this pleasure it's going to fuck you up tomorrow. But you love the way he has to uninhibit himself, after being the whole day following orders.

“Shit, baby… I want you all my fucking life”. He gasps leaning his head back with closed eyelids, impaling you against the marble counter of the sink.

Maybe you should have taken off the heels to not lose the balance, but you didn't think about it, and now you're fighting against your shaky legs.

“Look how good you take it all… my fucking god, (Y/N). You're fucking drenching me”.

Yes, you can feel it. You can feel your juices and his slipping down your thighs, producing a soaked dirty sound every time his body collides with yours so hard. Urging you to incorporate your chest from the sink with a hand grabbing your throat and the other arm surrounding your waist, Nestor arches your back, placing his face on your shoulder.

“Drown my fucking… dick with your cum, mi amor…” He begs you, biting your love, without removing his darkened orbs from yours, through your reflections.

“Shit, Nestor…” You're not sure when you start to cry because of the pleasure, needing more, needing to reach the orgasm. “Fuck me harder, I fucking beg you… Por favor”.

You can't barely breathe when his finger finds your clit, stroking it with the same pace he's embedding you against the furnishing. Your moans dance all around the bathroom, while he's gasping over your ear how much he wants to fuck you for the rest of his life, everywhere, at anytime you want it. And by crying out his name and clinging to him, a lash of heat evolves you, making your pussy twitch uncontrollably as the tears fall down your cheek. Your palpitating walls clenching his cock, making his vocals get louder as long as he continues diving his warmth hardness into you, closer from his own ecstasy.

You don't need to tell him that you want him to cum inside you, mixing it with yours, because he already has other plans. Pulling himself out and jerking off his dick, he spills his seed over your wet panties, bathing them on it as his throat collapses because of the pleasure. But don't waste time putting them to the side again to pound you again, pressing his body against yours as much as he can, holding your anatomy into his arms.

Te quiero sentir aquí. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

It's four am and you can't sleep thinking about what he said to you. Sighing, you sit up on your bed, curling your knees against your chest and surrounding them with both arms. He already told you that he wants you, but was he talking or his jealousy? You're doubting about going to his house, or texting him, or doing anything. Grabbing your phone from the nightstand and a cig from the packet, you step out of your dorm to walk downstairs towards the terrace. Sitting on one of the sofas outside, you light the smoke to have a drag, unlocking your phone. Your trembling fingers touch the screen over the keyboard; writing and deleting, writing and deleting. But you're unable to send any message. Feeling stupid, you finally write him that you can't sleep, listening the ding of your own notification so close that makes you frown confused.

“Me neither”.

With your lips pursed and a leg curled over the sofa, you turn ashamed towards him. Nestor is wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white big shirt. You're sure that you have never seen him before without wearing a suit. And you are falling loudly for him much more than ever. Putting out the cigarette, you stand up on your feet to lead them towards you.

“Stay with me, at least tonight”. You mutter, tangling your fingers with his.

“But move with me tomorrow”. Nestor asks you then, before hugging you as close as he can.

“Deal”. You reply, placing your chin on his chest to look at him, receiving some short kisses all around your face that make you laugh.

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[gardenflowerswriting]

Fucking Jelly (Syverson x Reader)

Summary: Reader is a Doctor who cannot stand the captain, yet when he asks for help, they can’t say no. 

Type: playfullbanter/fluff         Gif: andsowewalkalone               Word Count: 4k

You were threading a small stitch in a mans arm as you heard talking behind you, "this here is Y/L/N." You rolled your eyes, stopping to turn and see Syverson giving his tours to the new people, "go to her if you get a boo boo, she's good with those." You lowered your mask, "Fuck off Syverson, I'm busy." "She won't bite," his thick accent annoyed you to no end. You gave a joking silent laugh and flipped him off, your blue gloves too big for your hands. "Alright boys, this way." 

You tied off the ending of the string and gave the soldier some ibuprofen, lowering your mask and taking off your gloves, "read the label, and take what's prescribed," you picked up your clipboard and began writing, "if the pain does not subside, or you believe the injury to be infect, you must go to the base compound and be evaluated there. I do not have the supplies nor medication to deal with infections." You watched the blonde haired boy nod his head. You were just saying all the basic things they told you-you had to. You had that shit memorized verbatim. You wrote his info as you kept going, "I can provide you with alcohol pads that you can rub on them to clean them." You turned around to open the cabinet and hand them to him, "and for god fucking sake don't try to eat them or get drunk off them." He took them, and smirked "people do that?" You focused back on the form, "you would be surprised.” Returning to write down the soldiers name, “But, I'm done with you so can you get the next person if there is anyone?" "Yeah, thanks doc." You nodded your head and turned back to the small filing cabinet, you had to put his paper away and grab a fresh sheet. You washed your hands in the small sink and heard steps behind you as someone sat down, "alright," you got new gloves and you reached for your pen, turning, "what can I do for you toda-" you were stopped by a smiling Syverson dangling his feet off the one tall chair in the room. You dropped your shoulders, "What are you doing here?" "I came to see you doc." "Oh my god," you leaned against the tan cabinets, "For fucks sake? You know I have actual people to see and help, not you?" His brows moved together, "what? With the little needle you carry around?" You locked your jaw, "I could do a lot with that needle, and that's what they supply me with. Maybe if they gave me more I could do more." He smiled, lifting his hand to shoo away the conversation, "no ones out there anyway. Thought I'd ask you a question." You rolled your eyes, "Syverson, if you're gonna ask me to go on a date you know the answer already." He smirked, "now doc, is that all you think about? A captain asking you on a date," you crossed your arms and glared at him. You could see him try and hold in his laugh, "no, I do have a question, a real one." You raised your brow watching, waiting, "you know a lot about human biology?" "I'm here aren't I?" "Oo, doc no need to get sour on me, I just need you to take a look at one of the dogs that we found outside." You moved your brows together, "a dog? . . I don't know anything about dogs." "Yeah, well you know about humans, they're pretty close are they not?" You stared at him in disbelief, "what? No." "Come on, a quick look, you liked Aika, this dog is no different." You sighed, Aika was cute, and when you could, you made sure to play with her outside. "You never asked me to examine Aika." "I did not say 'examine'" You narrowed your eyes, "then what do you want." He smiled, "we might have some pups coming soon." Your face went flat, "the dog is pregnant?!" "Come on doc, ain't nobody in the hall for you, take a 10 minute break?" You stared at him, trying to decide if you should trust him or not. Finally, rolling your eyes you lifted yourself off the cabinets, "where's the dog?" He smiled, "follow me." You kept your gloves on as he led you through three hallways to his room. He got a room to himself, bastard, so he was somewhat far off from everyone else, "she's been here for a while and only moved to get eat or drink." He pushed the door open and you were greeted with Aika, "hi babes." You spoke softly at her as you began to scratch behind her ear.  She jumped up on you, "Aika down!" His tone was sharp and stern, like he was talking to soldiers who were under him. You gave him a side eye, "she's fine, you know that." "I'm trying to teach her not to do that," he sighed, "this way." He guided you to a bigger dog, fatter in her belly and her nipples were prominent, "you needed me to tell you she's pregnant?" Now this just seemed like a set up to get you in his room.  You bent down to kneel by her side, "No," you scratched her stomach lightly, she looked like Aika, but with the obvious belly. Her fur was also almost all black, "I need you to tell me when she'll give birth. She whines a lot at night and like I said she don't move." You looked up at him, and almost laughed, "Syverson," his stern features didn't shift, "I'm a doctor, not a vet? I have no idea when she'll give birth." He crossed his arms and you rose back to your feet, "all I can say is to wait it out. She will when those pups are ready." He put his hand to his mouth before scratching his chin through his thick beard, thinking, "I can't raise puppies." You smiled at him, "I'll help," he gave you a coy look. Which in turn, made you side eye him, "oh sweetie not for you," looking back down at the soon to be mom, who was panting in the heat, "for the puppies." He grunted and you looked back at him, "what'll you name her?" He squinted down at the dog, "I don't know yet. . . what's your middle name?" "Syverson-" You drew out his name, annoyed.  "No seriously, what is it?" You rolled your eyes, "Y/M/N." (Your/middle/name) "Settles it," he knelt down to the dog and rubbed behind her ears, "Y/M/N," he looked up to you and smiled. After then, you didn't think of the momma anymore, while Syverson constantly made sure to bring her up on your radar. But, today you had seen twenty-two guys which was far from normal, and being you were the only one on base who knew how to give proper stitches and offer medical care in your make shift clinic, you wanted to sleep. Your room was with some of the other female soldiers, but they were nice to you so you didn't care too much. As you were getting ready for bed, you brushed your teeth, let your hair down from it's bun and got it a little wet, so it would return to its normal form. You looked in the mirror and felt dead, wearing a tan t-shirt with no bra and shorts that were too short, but wouldn’t be uncomfortable under your cargo pants (in the instance you needed to get dressed quick). You shuffled to your bed and closed your eyes. "Y/N," you felt your body shake furiously and in an instant, your eyes opened and you reached for the gun you kept at the side of your bed. "No," the dark figure grabbed at your arm and when you went to scream a strong hand covered your mouth, "aye! It's me! It's Syverson." You squinted at the figure and could make out the beard, "Shumveson?" It was muffled because of his hand. He put his finger to his mouth, "shh, you gotta come with me." "Hmm?" Again, the idiot had his hand over your mouth. They really let the dumbest people be captains. "Y/M/N." It took you a minute but then you remembered and nodded your head. "Come on." He let go of your mouth and backed up. When you stood to walk, you whimpered from the pain in your feet, but you followed him to his room, the walk was silent except for your cries of pain. "I think she's having them, I gave her my shirt to lay on." You looked over to his body, "is that why you are suddenly without clothes?" He didn't wear a shirt and only his cargo shorts, which were loosely hanging around his waist. He rolled his eyes at you, "says the girl who's boobs and ass are hanging out." You moved your brows together and felt slightly self conscious, but turned your attention to the dog. "I need you to go to my office and grab two sets of gloves, and probably some Benadryl. Get me some food too." You lowered to be level with the dog. "You're hungry right now?" "Are you dumb? It's to put the pills in and feed to her. Go!" He did as you said and all you could do was scratch as the girls face, "shh, baby," she let out whimpers and you were afraid she would wake people up. He came back and dropped the materials next to you, "get the gloves on when the puppies start to come." He nodded his head and sat down on your free side, "okay baby, we're gonna help you." You looked to Syverson, "she should know how to do this herself, so it's just waiting. But when the puppies are all out, we will figure out the genders then lay them next to her so she can clean them, keep them warm, and let them eat," he nodded his head, receiving all your orders, "get the food you brought and lather them up in Benadryl." "Can dogs have that?" "yes, and it's all we have," she whimpered again and you both looked down to her. He shifted to grab something from the side of his bed, and when you looked, it was a jar of jelly. You almost gasped, "what the hell? You have jelly?!" He cracked the lid open and used his finger to scoop out a chunk, looking to you, "what? My mom mailed it over." You were still jealous. "I hate you," you muttered. He gave her two pills and you both sat watching on the cold tile floor, it was like watching water boil. After about half and hour, he jumped, exclaiming: "I see a head!" You put your hand over his mouth, "she needs to be at peace right now! Don't disrupt her." You felt his tongue against your palm, which made you with draw quickly, "ew!" He smiled, "you liked it." You could only roll your eyes, but you felt his arm wrap around your back pulling you to sit in between his legs, "look," his voice was deep in your ear, which almost put you in a sleepy trans. But you followed to where his finger was pointing, which was to the small head of puppy coming out. You smiled, sitting criss-cross in between his thick body, "you're gonna be a dad." You spoke softly. You could see his hands rest on his knees, "damn, that makes you the step mama." You couldn't help but laugh, while shaking your head, knowing he smiled at you from behind You didn't notice it, but as the longer you both watched the puppies arrive, the deeper you were in his lap. You laid your head against his fury chest while he rested one hand behind him to support you both and the other laid gently against your body. You had gotten so tired, you jumped when his deep voice rose again, vibrating against your head, "you think she's done." You rose quick and looked around, darting to her and the puppies surrounding her nipples to drink. "Um," you rubbed your eyes, "yeah. We can count them and know the genders I guess." "Alright," he shifted from his position, "we could've moved to the bed instead of making me sit on the hard ass floor." You shook your head, "I didn't mean to fall asleep," you yawned a little, looking over at him, "what time is it?" He checked his watch, "4:08" you nodded and moved closer to Y/M/N, he was close behind you, settling at your side as you both looked at her in awe. "Good job babe," you rubbed her head, she welcomed it and kept her mouth open panting. You could hear him getting his gloves on, "Let's see," he picked up one and checked the underside, "girl." You looked to the puppy, her little eyes were still closed and she was so tiny in his hands, "what's gonna be her name?" He took a long look at her, "Doc . . . for doctor." You rolled your eyes and met his gaze, "i want to keep this one and for her name to be doc." He looked so serious about it that you felt your heart pick up. You shuffled closer to him and watched as he set the puppy down, "fine, but the next ones name is gonna be cap for captain." You knew he was smiling, and by the end of you guys going back in forth with names, you had seven puppies, four girls (Doc, Ivy, Ace, and Lyn) with three boys (Cap, Sage and Hendrix). By the time you were done arguing on the names, it was 4:42 AM. You both got up at six hundred hours normally, and you knew if you fell asleep you'd be out. "What some coffee?" He asked after you two were done admiring the cute little puppies and their whimpers. You nodded your head, "you can sit on the bed, it's softer," he got up and disappeared from the room. You scooted to the mattress and first thing you noticed was how much nicer it was than your own. You leaned your head against the wall and when he came back with two mugs you gave him a glare, "your own room, a jar of jelly, and a soft ass bed." He smiled, handing you the cup, "it pays to have a momma that loves ya, and I guess a good position." You rolled your eyes and blew on the coffees surface, watching the steam rise from it. He picked up the container in one hand and tossed it on your crossed legs, "take it." You looked up at him and he walked towards you, laying down next to you, putting his weight on his elbow so he could look at you. You felt yourself frown, "I can't take it." He shook his head, "that's what I'll pay you in, Berry jelly." "Pay me?" He smiled, taking a sip of the black coffee, "for helping." That almost made you snort, "I fell asleep? Really Sy, you should have it, it's from your family. I'm good with the beans and noodles." "Let me see it," he rested his coffee on the bed, letting it sit against his chest as you handed him the jar and he unscrewed the top, showing you the delicious looking substance. You felt your mouth water, "take some." When he could tell you were resilient, he nudged it closer to you again. You pulled one hand from your coffee mug and let two fingers dig into the jar, coming out with a beautiful scoop of the substance. He watched closely as you put your fingers in your mouth and moaned, which made him all the more tentative. His eyes scanned over your body, and took a long glance at your chest knowing you weren't wearing a bra. Your eyes were closed as you threw you head back against the wall, "that good?" It was so sweet and tart at the same time, it almost made you feel like you were in his hometown. You could imagine him picking berries for the mixture and helping to smash them with his mom, it was so cute. When you finally opened your eyes, your smile was giddy, "like an orgasm." "Well doc if I would've know it was that easy I would've given it to you the first day I saw you." You looked straight at the paint chipped wall, still feeling in a daze of jelly happiness, as you shook your head, "no, you could never get me like that." He watched your every move, licking his lips, "wanna make that a bet." Your head shifted down to him, and you looked at him with the most loving eyes he had ever seen, "this was fun." Before lowering to kiss his cheek, you stopped at his ear, "I'll come by tonight and look at how the kids are doing?" He nodded his head and you pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was quick, but it left a warm print on his skin, and made your chin rub against his beard. "Bye Sy." He hummed, and watched you lift yourself from his bed. He watched your ass as you tiptoed and opened his door lightly, giving him one last glance before you disappeared into the hall. "Fuck." He muttered looking to the jar he laughed, "fucking jelly." 

[anchorandrope]

MISS YOU

miss you is a song with many interpretations, you will see many blogs that say it’s a stunt song but you will also see many that say that isn’t.

in this post i want to explain several interpretations of this song so that you can judge for yourself what it is about.

1) it’s a stunt song

in this case, the interpretation of the song is literal therefore it would speak of a break up. as we know miss you was released in 2017, the same year eleanor returned with louis so it would fit with the narrative.

louis wrote that song while they were separated and now that they are together he doesn’t want to sing it anymore because that would bring back bad memories, it fits perfectly right?

however the real reason why he doesn’t want to sing it would be because it doesn’t represent him.

2) talks about the closet

in this option the song is not interpreted literally but in a more metaphorical way and it is thought that the structure of the song is to fit into the elounor narrative but the meaning is different.

is this option there is a relation with habit, always you and too young so i recommend reading this post first.

“is it my imagination? is it something that i’m taking? all the smiles that i’m faking “everything is great everything is fucking great” going out every weekend staring at the stars on the ceiling hollywood friends, gotta see them such a good time i believe it this time”

first he talks about how he isn’t happy in that situation, he says that he fake his smiles and that he shows himself in front of everyone as if everything is fine, he clearly talks about how he shows himself in front of the public. then he talks about his “friends” who tell him that he has to go out and is “such a good time”. those “friends” are actually a metaphor for the people who put him in the closet. the people who put him in the closet (as mentioned in too young) told him that he would be better without harry and that they wouldn’t last, that’s why they were happy and they told him that while he is away from him, it would be his best moment and as he mentions in too young, at one point he believed that story that’s why he said “i believe it this time”

“tuesday night glazed over eyes just one more pint or five does it even matter anyway?”

“we’re dancing on tables and i’m off my face with all of my people and it couldn’t get better they say we’re singing ‘til last call and it’s all out of tune should be laughing, but there’s something wrong and it hits me when the lights go on shit, maybe i miss you”

after the fight he tried to drown his problems in alcohol, “should be laughing but is something wrong” as he believed the story, he thought that being mad with harry should be happier, but he loves him and that is not the case, he missed him.

“just like that and i’m sober i’m asking myself, “is it over?” maybe i was lying when i told you “everything is great everything is fucking great” and all of these thoughts and the feelings cheers to that if you don’t need them i’ve been checking my phone all evening such a good time i believe it this time”

he hides and lies about how he feels, which leads to more fights. he waits to be able to talk to him and fix things (with “checking my phone” he doesn’t mean the literal phone but at the moment of talking).

“now i’m asking my friends how to say, “i’m sorry” they say, “lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry” and we can’t even be on the phone now and i can’t even be with you alone now oh, how shit changes we were in love, now we’re strangers when i feel it coming up, i just throw it all away get another two shots ‘cause it doesn’t matter anyway”

first he mentions his “friends” again, he regrets but his “friends” want to stop him from solving things. then he talks about how difficult it’s to fix things completely because between the fact that their relationship was in a tense stage and they couldn’t even look at each other, everything is worse. the phrase that most identifies the iron closet is “now we are strangers” because it talks about how publicly they had to act like strangers and finally it talks about how they drown his problems in alcohol again.

in this case louis doesn’t want to sing the song because it brings back bad memories or because he just doesn’t want to.

[see also]

3) talks about the party boy image

in this option it’s also interpreted metaphorically (although more literal than the previous one) and with a structure that serves to fit in with the elounor narrative.

this option doesn’t need much explanation, the whole song talks about partying and missing someone. that “someone” would be the louis of the past. (there are some lyrics that don’t fit 100% such as “and i can’t even be with you alone now” or the “we were in love now we're strangers”).

i want to clarify that option 2 and 3 are just as valid as 1 (and just as valid as other interpretations), that there are people who interpret it in a more metaphorical way isn’t wrong. artists often want to write one thing but have to make it fit with another because they are forced to do so, so it would be no surprise if this is the case.

finally i want to say that no interpretation is right or wrong, just because someone thinks differently from you doesn’t make your opinion less valid. it doesn’t matter if you see big accounts with a different opinion than yours, that you have it doesn’t mean that you are wrong or that you are “less larrie” for it, draw your own conclusions, don’t repeat without thinking what the rest says.

—————————————————

MISS YOU

miss you es una canción con muchas interpretaciones, vas a ver muchísimos blogs que dicen que es una stunt song pero también vas a ver muchos que dicen que no.

en este post quiero explicar varias interpretaciones de esta canción para que ustedes juzguen por ustedes mismos de que se trata.

1) es una stunt song

en este caso, la interpretación de la canción es literal por ende hablaría de una ruptura. como sabemos miss you fue lanzada en 2017, el mismo año que eleanor volvió con louis por lo que encajaría con la narrativa.

louis escribió esa canción mientras estaban separados y ahora que estan juntos no la quiere cantar mas porque eso les traería malos recuerdos, encaja perfecto no?

sin embargo la verdadera razon por la que no la quiere cantar sería porque no lo representa.

2) habla del closet

en esta opción la canción no es interpretada literal sino de manera mas metafórica y se piensa que la estructura de la canción es para encajar en la narrativa elounor pero el significado es otro.

es esta opción hay una relación con habit, always you y too young así que recomiendo leer este post primero.

original

“is it my imagination? is it something that i’m taking? all the smiles that i’m faking “everything is great everything is fucking great” going out every weekend staring at the stars on the ceiling hollywood friends, gotta see them such a good time i believe it this time”

traducción

“¿es mi imaginación? ¿es algo que yo estoy tomando? todas las sonrisas que estoy fingiendo “todo está genial todo está jodidamente genial” saliendo todos los fines de semana mirando las estrellas en el techo amigos de hollywood, tengo que verlos es un buen momento lo creo esta vez”

primero habla de como no es feliz en esa situación, dice que finge sus sonrisas y que se muestra frente a todos como si todo estuviera bien, claramente habla de como se muestra frente al público. después habla de sus “amigos” que le dicen que tiene que salir y que “es un buen momento”. esos “amigos” en realidad es una metafora para las personas que lo ponen en el closet, los enclosetadores (como menciona en too young) le dijeron que iba a estar mejor sin harry y que no iban a durar por eso ellos se ponen felices y le dicen que mientras este lejos de el iba a ser su mejor momento y como menciona en too young, el en un momento se creyó ese cuento por eso “i believe it this time”

original

“tuesday night glazed over eyes just one more pint or five does it even matter anyway?”

“we’re dancing on tables and i’m off my face with all of my people and it couldn’t get better they say we’re singing ‘til last call and it’s all out of tune should be laughing, but there’s something wrong and it hits me when the lights go on shit, maybe i miss you”

traducción

“noche de martes ojos vidriosos sólo un trago más o cinco ¿de todos modos, importa?”

“estamos bailando sobre las mesas y estoy borracho con toda mi gente y “no podría ser mejor” ellos dicen, nosotros cantamos hasta el último momento y todo está fuera de tono debería estar riendo, pero hay algo que está mal y me golpea cuando las luces se encienden mierda, tal vez te extraño”

después de la pelea intentó ahogar sus penas en alcohol, “debería estar riendo pero algo esta mal” como se creyó el cuento, el pensaba que estando mal con harry debería estar mas feliz, pero el lo ama y no es asi por eso lo extraña.

original

“just like that and i’m sober i’m asking myself, “is it over?” maybe i was lying when i told you “everything is great everything is fucking great” and all of these thoughts and the feelings cheers to that if you don’t need them i’ve been checking my phone all evening such a good time i believe it this time”

traducción

“sólo eso y estoy sobrio estoy preguntándome, “¿ya se terminó?” tal vez estaba mintiendo cuando te dije “todo está genial todo está jodidamente genial” y todos estos pensamientos y sentimientos celebremos por eso si no los necesitas he estado revisando mi teléfono toda la tarde es un buen momento lo creo esta vez”

oculta y miente sobre como se siente, lo que genera más peleas. espera para poder hablar con el y arreglar las cosas (con “revisando mi teléfono” no se refiere al teléfono literal sino al momento de hablar).

original

“now i’m asking my friends how to say, “i’m sorry” they say, “lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry” and we can’t even be on the phone now and i can’t even be with you alone now oh, how shit changes we were in love, now we’re strangers when i feel it coming up, i just throw it all away get another two shots ‘cause it doesn’t matter anyway”

traducción

“ahora les estoy preguntando a mis amigos cómo decir “lo siento” ellos dicen: “amigo, dale tiempo, no hay de qué preocuparse” y ni siquiera podemos hablar por teléfono ahora y ni siquiera puedo estar contigo a solas oh, cómo la mierda cambia estábamos enamorados, ahora somos extraños cuando lo siento venir, simplemente lancé todo lejos búscate otros dos shots, porque ya no importa más”

primero vuelve con el tema de “los amigos”, el se arrepiente pero sus “amigos” lo quieren frenar para que no resuelva las cosas. después habla de lo difícil que es arreglar al 100% las cosas porque entre que su relación esta en una etapa tensa y encima no se pueden ni mirar es todo peor. la frase que mas identifica al closeting de hierro es “ahora somos extraños” porque habla de que públicamente ellos tenían que actuar así y por último habla de que vuelve a ahogar sus problemas en alcohol.

en este caso louis no quiere cantar la canción porque le trae malos recuerdo o porque simplemente no quiere.

[vean también]

3) habla de la imagen de party boy

en esta opción también se interpreta de forma metafórica (aunque mas literal que la anterior) y con una estructura que sirve para encajar con la narrativa elounor.

la verdad esta opción no necesita mucha explicación, toda la canción habla sobre estar de fiesta y extrañando a alguien. ese “alguien” sería el louis del pasado. (hay algunos lyrics que no encajan al 100% como por ej “and i cant even be with you alone now” o el “we were in love now we’re strangers”).

quiero aclarar que la opción 2 y 3 son igual de válidas que la 1 (e igual de validas que otras interpretaciones), que haya gente que la interprete de manera mas metaforiaca no esta mal. los artistas muchas veces quieren escribir una cosa pero lo tienen que hacer encajar con otra porque los obligan asi que no sería ninguna sorpresa que ese sea el caso.

por último quiero decir que ninguna interpretación esta bien o mal, porque alguien piense distinto a vos no hace tu opinión menos válida. no importa si ves a cuentas grandes con otra opinión distinta a la tuya, que la tengas no significa que estes mal o que seas “menos larrie” por ello, saca tus propias conclusiones, no repitas sin pensar lo que dice el resto.

[saradiasz]

Pairing: Lin Manuel X Reader

Note: Hi, this is my first Fanfic here, i hope you enjoy it!

Warning: Cursing, Teenager Lin, Lin's accent in Spanish, Smut, Fluff, Lin's baby pictures.

Word Count: 5.001

1998- Summer Vacations

I can't wait to meet my new neighbors, it's pretty lonely here since Cameron that lived nextdoor had to go to live in another country with her parents, she was my best friend and maybe my only one, she said that we will still be friends but...it's different, she's going to find new ones and I'm going to be here alone as always...Fuck that, I have to focus on the new neighbors now, maybe they have a daughter...Well, nobody compares to Cam...Ok, ok I'm forgetting that for now. Anyway, my mom is baking a cake to the neighbors when they arrive, I'm so nervous and anxious for...some reason, so I go downstairs to talk to my mom and see if the cake is ready.

 — Hey mom, how it's going there?  — I said looking to the oven and seeing the chocolate cake inside.

 — Right on time honey, I'm going to take it out in 5 minutes, wanna help me with the frosting?  — She said giving me a spatula that i take with enthusiasm.

 — Sure mom.  — I smile to her and she start to pouring condensed milk slowly in the wipped cream that I was stirring.

After that she put the frosting on the fridge and take the cake of the oven and put it on the table to rest, we talk for some time about nothing important until the cake was cold enough for the frosting. Is between spread frosting on the cake and put it on a plate that we heard a knock at the door.

 — Can you see who is for me Y/N? 

 — Sure.  — I said with a bored face, it's impossible that anyone liked to host people at your door, impossible.

I open the door and I see a latin little man, or a big kid... I'm not sure yet, he is wearing a Star Wars t-shirt way too big with large, large pants that another person could fit there with him comfortably, there's a hat laying on his head too, very fancy. He just stay there starring at me with his big brown eyes and then say:

 — Hi I'm Lin son of the new neighbors, my mom is throwing a party tonight and she's inviting your family, nothing fancy just some foods and a lot of dancing, there's none dress code or those shit, we just want to have a good time with everyone and make new friends.  — He said in one breathe with a lot of hand gestures, impressive...He dresses like a kid and talk as much as one.

 — Okay.  — I said slowly.  — I'm gonna say to my mom, actually she's baking a welcome cake for your family, we can take with us tonight then.

 — That would be perfect, thank you so much. — He said gesturing with his hands again. — Bye.  — He turn around and go in the way to the next house as I close the door.

 — Okay, mom you won't belie... What are you looking at?  — She look at me with a weird smile and say:

 — He likes you honey, did you saw the look on his eyes and how he was literally throwing words at you?  — She said giving me a malicious face.

 — What are you saying, of course he don't like me, we talk for 2 minutes...Well he talked for 2 minutes I just listened. — I said rolling my eyes.

 — Well, think what you want, and about the party...we are definitely going, so find a good dress. 

 — Why mom? Let me stay home, please. — I said with fake tears in my eyes.

 — I know you, don't fake a face for me, we are going and period. — Damnit, she know me too well.

 — Ugh, okay okay.

After we both get ready, I take the cake and we go to Lin's house, i can hear music from a far, we get there and knock, a woman full of energy open the door and hug me and my mom tightly at the same time what almost caused a cake accident.

 — Wepa, I'm so happy you maded, come in, come in. — She said with a heavy accent and then pushed us into her house.

 — And we are very happy that you invited us, I baked a cake for you, take it. — My mom said giving her the cake that was in my arms.

 — Mas no precisava, you didn't need too. I'm going to place this with the rest of the food, thank you...I don't even asked your name honey, what am I thinking... — Own, like mom, like son. She said as fast as Lin did before.

 — It's Y/M/N and what's yours? If I may ask. — Okay, so I'm probably gonna be here for a while, it's always like that when my mom finds another "talkative" mom. 

 — It's Luz, and this is your hija? Uh tan hermosa... — She said giving me a look — Lin has a good taste...

 — Mama, ¿Qué estás diciendo? Excuse us ladies — A blushed Lin appears of nowhere almost screaming and then he leaves with his mother.

 — That was... — My mom start thinking in a word.

 — Freaking weird? Yeah, I know. I told you so, if you excuse me I'm going to find food.  — I go right to the place that's probably the kitchen, there's some latin people talking, probably Lin's family or something, I found a table with some snacks in the corner and go straight to them taking one bowl of... something that I don't know what it is but tastes good. I go to find somewhere safe to eat alone, what's not very complicated since they don't unpacked almost anything, I go upstairs and enter a room with some furniture, I turn the light on and then sit on the floor behind some boxes trying to hide for a while. I really didn't wanted to came here in the first place, don't get me wrong, the people aren't the problem, I am...I just don't like parties, and parties with my mom are even worse. The door opens interrupting my monologue about how much I hate parties. I see Lin talking on the phone entering the room like a thunder, closing the door and laying on the carpet.

 — Tú no entiendes, ella es la cosa más linda que yo ví en toda mi vida...obviamente no consegui hablar com ela Carlos, I'm too shy for that... — He finally realize that I'm in the room and say almost choking on the phone. — Oh fuck, yo tengo que ir bye. Hi, what're you doing here? The party isn't in my bedroom.  — He said with a...smile? Or he's dying? 

 — Your what? Oh I'm sorry I was just... scaping for my mom, I didn't realized that this was your room. — Oh fuck, of course it's his bedroom.

 — It's okay, it's nothing yet actually just a bunch of boxes and I relate with the mom thing, my mom drives me crazy sometimes too.  — He opens a beautiful smile, I never took a deep look at him but he's not that bad actually, even kinda cute with a goofy smile. 

 — Mothers hun. — We both laugh looking at the floor.

 — Did you understood what I was talking on the phone? — He asked nervous.

 — Not even a word. — He's relief came hard.

 — Oh, nice.

 — What you were saying, though? — That's really weird, he start to panic.

 — Ah, uh...porn — That's a bad liar over here my friends.

 — Sure...

 — Yeah. — Awkward silence, yummy...

 — So...

 — What's your name again? I don't think you never said to me actually.  — He said with a question mark all over his face.

 — Well, you never gave me the chance. — He start to blush because of my words and then he whisper an sorry. — It's okay Lin, and my name is Y/N at your service sir. 

 — Yeah, this name suits you. — He said now smiling. 

 — Do you want some?  — I said pointing the bowl to him. — I don't know what this is but is pretty damn good.

 — Sure. — He said taking some of the bowl and then sitting next to me, his leg touching mine. — It's tostones, basically fried plantain, it's a Puerto Rican thing, well latin thing but this one my aunt brought from Puerto Rico. — He said with his eyes glowing. 

 — You used to live there? 

 — No, actually. My parents came to here and then they meet on college so i was born here too, but I love Puerto Rico it's my happy place you know. — He said with a half smile.

 — That's so sweet Lin.  — His eyes finds mine and we stare each other for a minute, but then I look away...This boy is like...affecting me? 

 — So, did you want to get back there? It's dinner time.  — He stand up and offers me his hand.

 — We really have to? — I said forcing a sad face.

 — Of course we do, but if you get uncomfortable I promise that we can stay here okay? — His hand still waiting for mine.

 — Okay then.  — I take his hand leaving the empty bowl behind, we get out of the room still holding hands, until I see my mom, in that moment I go crazy and i walk in her direction leaving Lin.

 — Hm, very strange that you were together inside a room, did you wear protection honey? I don't want a...

 — MOM, we were just talking.  — I said interrupting her before she said something even crazier.

 — I'm just saying...Well, let's go to get dinner, this are really nice people doll you're gonna love them. — She said leading me to the backyard where a big table was full of food, hell yes, that's what I'm talking about, don't like parties who?

I sit with my mom by my right side, Lin appears and sit in front of me, after everybody was at the table we start to eat, people asking food, pouring juice, telling jokes, Lin's look finding mine between conversations, was all really nice, I even forgot why I was so worried at the first place. 

We are at home now, I'm looking at the sky from my window, there's a lot of stars and is a full moon day. The curtains of the other house in front of my window opens all of sudden, of course Lin's window is there, how I didn't noticed that? He don't seems to see me, what makes sense since my lights are off, he's shirtless and writing something on the desk that places below the window, there's a lamp on the desk and the only thing that's on at the room. He seems so relaxed, his mouth is moving fast what means he's probably singing, maybe writing music? I don't know but it's a beautiful view, wait...is this creepy? I'm feeling like a stalker right now, i try to hide but he see me for my own despair. He smile and wave his hand to me, I do the same with a Awkward smile. Crap, I'm so dumb...he take a paper and write "Hi, can't sleep either?", i write fast in a old piece of paper a big "No", he smile and write another thing and then show me "Meet me in 10?" Oh fuck, why he want to see me? he's totally going to report me to the police for harassment. I raise my thumb to him and he closes his curtains, I look at the mirror and remember that I was in my pajamas but who cares, I go downstairs slowly so my mom couldn't hear me, the door make a noise when I open it...damnit, hope she didn't hear this, I close the door and turn to Lin's house, he's standing right in front sadly with clothes now, wait, why am I disappointed? He has a little smile in his face until he reaches me.

 — I'm sorry, I wasn't stalking you I swear, please don't sue me...

 — What're you talking about?  — He said confused, crap crap crap, a thousand times crap, I fell my cheeks hot so I close my eyes so I won't be able to see his face.

 — Nice pajamas by the way... Wait, are this pineapples? — He said with a stupid smirk on his face.

 — Oh shut up, you're wearing Star Wars clothes all day and I never said a word about it. — I try to say this mad but my smile wins the battle on my face.

 — Yo, Star Wars is a classic but I never see a movie about pineapples. — Why do I didn't changed my clothes again? Right, laziness.

 — Uh, rude. — I hit his arm weakly.

 — Au. — He smile and take my hand. — Let's go, we can lay down in the garden and look at the stars and...talk.

 — Okay Yoda. — He laugh a little as we go to the background of his house. 

We lay on the ground with our bodies almost touching, the stars really look beautiful tonight... He turn his head in my direction...We both know what's going to happen but the wait make all better, I turn to him and his laches are beating slowly, the light of the stars make his face glow, he put one hand on my face and start to make little circles around my cheek and say that my eyes are more shining than the stars, his face is literally one inch far from mine. I'm the one who kisses first, his lips are soft and warm, he put his hand in my wrist and push me closer to him, his tongue is touching mine now in a sweet kiss, we end the kiss but we stay closer as possible.

 — That was unexpected. — I said breaking the silence.

 — Well, not for me. I was hoping to do that since I meet you. — He says letting small kisses on my face.

 — So my mom was right this time. — He goes a little far laughing.

 — I was that obvious?

 — I don't think so, but in the moment you walked away she said that you liked me, what I thought that was craziness until now.  — I said with one hand in his soft hair. — No that I'm saying that you like me i just... — He stop me pressing our lips together.

 — Mothers hun... — He said quoting me and then opening one of those beautiful smiles.

The sun is rising when we go back to home, I say a last goodbye to him from the window before jumping on the bed, my back are in pain but I don't care...This was one of the best days of my life, I sleep and my dreams are full of dancing and laughing. 

I wake up with a knock at my door, I look to the clock next to my bed and it's almost 12 o'clock, after a little battle against myself I get up and open the door, Lin is with a big smile in his face, the large clothes now are just a cargo shorts and a light white shirt showing his shoulders and a lot of skin, so much skin...

 — Good morning Sleepyhead. — He said still smiling.

 — How you're up after last night? And smiling... — I said outraged giving room for him get inside.

 — Actually I barely sleep, no i can't get inside. Your mother only let me in when I promised not to enter your room.

 — Of course she did, by the way what are you doing here? — I ask him. — No that I didn't liked, I do, I really do. — I said fast.

 — Really? — He's cheeks are turning red, how he can be this cute?

 — Yeah. — I get closer to him and I let a little kiss into his lips. 

 — So, I was thinking that we could go to somewhere today, I know a place in the woods that's perfect for do absolutely nothing, it's not far so we can walk a little bit and since you didn't eat breakfast, we can do a picnic and no one else goes there so we can stay together in peace. — He said showing me the basket in his hand.

 — That sounds perfect, I just have to take a shower, I see you in 30? — He nodd his head in affirmation and I kiss him more deeply this time.

 — See ya. — He said in the middle of the kiss and then goes away...God I could live in his lips forever...

I take a quick bath and go downstairs, Lin is talking to my mother, he's drinking a cup of coffee and they're... Laughing? Weird...I say a hi to my mom and we go to Lin's place. It's really a perfect place, there's a lot of trees and a little lake in the middle, we rest on a big towel under a tree for some time, we eat a lot, it's a perfect afternoon...

  — Thank you Lin, this is so nice. — My head is resting on his shoulder.

 — You know what would be nicer? — He said standing up and slowly taking his shirt off and running into the lake direction. I take my dress off and follow him with a goofy smile on my face. We jump into the almost warm water together, he start to splashing water in my face and I do it back, he came closer and kiss me, his shy hands are laying in my lower back, i surround his waist with my legs and I feel something getting harder under his belly, he stop the kiss looking at me with his big eyes, his laches are moving fast. 

 — I...it's... — He tries to talk but he doesn't have words for this.

 — Shhhh, kiss me Lin. — I whisper into his ear and he does what i ask, then i take his hand and guide him to where we were before.

 — I never done this before. — He said with his voice shaking. We lay on the towel and I kiss him, i run my hand through his wet soft hair and feel them between my fingers, meanwhile his hands is caressing my back, making little circles.

— We don't have to do it if you aren't ready yet. — He's looking at me with those big brown puppy eyes, I'm losing all control that i have. — I never done this with someone that i just meet either, but you're making me crazy without doing anything.

— I want you, i just don't know...how... — He gaze up avoiding my eyes with his cheeks all red now, did i mention how cute he's with red cheeks? 

— Hey, look at me. — I said touching his face and making he look at mine — I'll not say that i didn't do it before, but i can lead you...if you let me. — He don't say anything, just came closer and kiss me taking all the breath of my lungs.

— Okay...— He said more whispering than really talking. 

— If you want to stop anytime just say, okay? — He nodd his head in confirmation. I stay on top of him and take my bra and throw in the floor next to us, he look at my breasts with his eyes wide open then look to my face like he was asking for permission, what was really cute, i take his warm hands and put them in there and he squeeze very softly, i feel him getting even harder under me, i kiss him urgently like i never kissed someone before, he turn our positions and now he's on top of me going down to my lips and kissing my neck and collarbone, a little noise come out of my mouth when i feel his lips on my nipple pressing it softly and letting small kisses. I hear he saying all the time how soft my skin is and how sweet i taste in his mouth, our underwear go out of our body in some point.

I said that i would lead him but he's doing a great job from himself, driving me crazy with all the wait and his kisses in my body, i can feel everything, every part of our body that's touching, every drop of sweat that roll in our body. The beautiful things that came out of his mouth are like a melody, i never felt so loved when i feel him inside me, filling me whole.

— Am i hurting you baby? — He ask with the most beautiful face of concern.

— Just a little, but it's normal don't worry my love. — He nodd and then lay his forehead in mine starting to move inside me, our bodies colliding softly, his lips is barely pressing mine, he's not moving fast what make all feel even better, he's saying how gorgeous i am and i how i make him feel the luckiest guy in the whole world for let him be with me in his arms, my name come out of his mouth like a poem, we are moaning together and it's together that we come too, my eyes are out of orbit, i can't feel anything else than the goosebumps all over my body, he's head is resting in my chest and he's hugging me tight in his arms.

— You're so amazing Y/N...I'm really happy that my first time was with you. — He said softly looking deep in my eyes after we recover and lay on the ground side by side with our bodys tangled. — I never felt like this before for anyone else.

— Me neither Lin, i love how you make me feel... — I said and i feel the cold wind in my naked body what make me shiver for a moment but Lin hold me closer to his body. — I think we should put our clothes on and go back now, it's starting to get cold and the sun is going down, my mom will kill me if I get home late.

— Yeah, let's go doll. — He said throwing my clothes on me and getting up.

At home i take a shower but Lin's taste and smell are still in my body, i still can feel his arms wrapping me. I touch my lips remembering of when he was kissing me slowly, savouring my mouth. I think about check the window just to see if he's there but before I came into a conclusion my mom calls me for dinner. It's 9am when i sleep, all that i didn't slept the night before mixed with all the "exercise" from the afternoon make me sleep 10 hours uninterrupted. I get up really excited for the day, the sun is rised and it's a beautiful day, i take a quick shower and go catch some breakfast before knock at Lin's door.

— Good morning mom. — I said almost singing.

— Good Morning honey, why you're so happy? You're never like this in the morning. — She said looking at me suspiciously.

— I'm just happy mom, i can't be happy anymore? Jesus

— Of course you can, but it's strange. Let me guess, Lin is the reason of your happiness? — She ask smirking for me.

— Maybe, why? — I ask drinking my coffee 

— Nothing... i like him, he's a very good boy and he's super respectful and I think he really really likes you. 

— I really like him too mom...

— I can see, your eyes glow when you talk about him, i'm really glad that you found each other honey. — She said cupping my face.

— Me too mom, i have to go now. — I kiss her face and go out listening to her voice saying for me not to came home late. I knock at his door and his mom open for me.

— Good morning Mrs. Miranda, is Lin at home? 

— Good morning Y/N, he's in shower but come in, you can wait for him here, and don't call me that, I'm just Luz for you— She said all too happy, probably Lin told her about us.

— Okay Luz. — She guide me to the couch, i look around and everything is in place, just one or two boxes in the corner now, the decoration in very happy with a lot of color everywhere. — This is so pretty Luz.

— Thank you, i really liked how turned too. Come here let me show you a thing. — We get up and she show me trophys and some papers that belongs to Lin, there's some more things but are from a girl, maybe a sister? He didn't told me he had a sister. She takes a big album and we sit on the couch again, that's the good stuff, the blackmail material.

— This is when he born, tan precioso. — She show me a photo in white and black with a baby Lin in it, so cute. — I never thought that he would became this writing machine that never sleep properly, i blame his father they're exactly the same. — She show me a lot of another photos, in graduations, in piano recitals what apparently he was really good at, in family reunions. He appears when we're almost done, he smile when he see me but then he panic when he realize that his mom is with his kid album.

— Mami, i can't believe you're embarrassing me again. — He said hiding his face with his hands.

— I'm just showing to her como tú eras pequeño e precioso mi hijo. — She said standing up and pinching his red cheek, then she put the album where it was before and go out of the room.

— Stop laughing at me. — He said with the most adorable angry face when i start to laugh. I stand up and kiss his cheek as he touch my back and bring me close pressing his lips against mine. — What are we going to do today baby? 

— Movie? My mom's going to shop what will probably take a while so we can watch it in my house. — He smirk at me. — God, you barely discovered sex and you're already addicted? — What i said make him laugh loudly.

— I'm sorry, so...just a movie. I will just say to my mom so she won't be crazy that I'm not home — He kiss my cheek and go talk to his mom.

After we fight for 10 minutes we finally agree in watch the Ghostbusters, we both have watched it one hundred times but it's just too good. My mom finally go to work and we go to the kitchen to do popcorn and take some snacks. After that we lay on the carpet to watch the movie.

— You never told me that you had a sister. — I said playing with his hair in my finger, his head resting in my lap.

— I thought that i did, anyway she's the best, she prefer to be in our aunt's house for the summer, that's why she isn't here.

— I always wanted to have a sister, but my dad died when I was young and my mom never was the same. 

— I'm so sorry Y/N. — He said cupping my face.

— I'm okay now, was a really long time ago. — I put my hand over his. — What about your father, why i didn't meet him yet? 

— He's in New Jersey for work, he'll probably be here in the weekend, I'll make sure that he meet my girl. — He said pressing our lips quickly.

— Your girl? You didn't even asked me yet. — I said throwing a popcorn in his face.

— I have to? — He said confused.

— No, but it won't harm if you do it.

— Okay, Okay. — He said sitting in front of me and taking my hands, i can't believe he'll really do that. I burst into laughter

— I'm just kidding...

— Shh... I'm concentrating. — He put a finger in my lips and then clean his throat and start...rapping?. — I know I'm not much but my heart belongs to you, even more when I remember of that afternoon, baby I can't take you out of my mind, here holding your hands i ask you, will you be mine? 

— You just made that out of nowhere? Cool

— It's that a yes? 

— Of course it's your dummy. — I said jumping into him kissing his lips, the popcorn that was in my lap spreads to everywhere.

I never thought that I would find love in such a young age and so fast, but i couldn't imagine my life without Lin, he's the only man I loved and will always be, and the felling is mutual by what he say every morning that we wake up together, side by side, i never felt so loved in someone's arms before and i hope this felling last until the day I die. This is the end but not our end, we'll last forever.

[every1studio]

SERIES: “stages of love: giving up” [ateez: mingi]

genre: angst 

ficstyle: bullepoints + series [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [END]

prompt: inspired by “What Can I Do” + “I Loved You” + “When You Love Someone” by Day6

note: the series is coming to an end ): + sorry I haven’t been writing these past few days, I’ve been having a hard time at home and I will be busy for the upcoming days but I WILL finish this series 

Mingi didn’t know why he was so nervous to meet you

maybe it was because you were someone his best friend spoke so highly of 

or maybe it was because he knew you were a skilled guitarist and he was intimidated 

but all of those reasons were pushed away for the main reason he was nervous 

he was expecting you to look like that little girl with a mushroom cut hanged on the wall of his shared apartment

when he met you, he saw how beautiful you were

you were kinda shy, so you greeted him behind Yunho 

you had this look; this look that made Mingi want to protect you 

he tried to be a lot more gentle; knowing that his exterior makes others a little intimidated 

Mingi had the typical bad boy vibes with the heart of an innocent high school boy 

it wasn’t his fault that he looked like that; he was sure it was going to take a while for you to warm up to him 

but Yunho ensured him that you were just shy and that you weren’t intimidated by his looks at all

the more Mingi looked at you, the more it became visible to him

he’s seen you at a couple of his performances on and off campus 

you caught his eye a couple of times and he even tried writing songs about you but you would disappear as soon as his performance ended

the only time he would able to see you again was if it was for a big event his band for perform for 

but those were rare; only a couple times throughout the year 

when Mingi introduced him as a drummer of one of the universities famous band, he saw your eyes light up 

for a split second, he forgot that his best friend was the one that was infatuated with you 

his heart skipped a beat 

but quickly shattered when he saw you giggling and shoving Yunho as he teased you 

Mingi wanted to leave the room as soon as he saw that; knowing that any chance of being with you is every chance of him ruining his friendship with Yunho

Yunho had helped him through his darkest times; Mingi couldn’t do that to him

you broke Mingi’s chain of thought, “Yunho told me you’re in a band, right?”

he straightens his back as he answers, “ye-yeah..”

Yunho pulls you closer to Mingi

“Y/N you should definitely join his band!”

Mingi knew that if you joined his band, there would be no escaping from you 

“I’m not that great... I’ve seen him play a couple times and his band is REALLY good..”

Mingi was about to speak when you continued your sentence, “especially the main vocalist? the one who’s the bassist? he’s a really great performer, literally can’t take my eyes off of him..”

Mingi silently shut his mouth as Yunho pulls your cheek, “you’d date him if he wasn’t taken huh?”

you scowled at Yunho as you pulled his cheeks as a payback, “you know what, I might’ve!”

you wouldn’t even notice him even if he was in the band.. he was just in the back with the drums 

the background sound 

the one behind the spotlight

that was how he lived his life up until now 

and it wasn’t going to change overnight for some girl he had no chance of getting

but he wanted any hope, no matter how little, that you were a possibility 

he wanted to try before giving up 

Mingi straightens the wrinkles on his jeans as he looks at you through his bangs, “well.. we are in dire need of a guitarist right now...”

your eyes widened as you looked at Mingi and back at Yunho

Yunho slaps you on the back, “DO IT!”

you slapped Yunho back on the arm since it hurt your back, “OKAY!”

your eyes softened to look back at Mingi. “are you sure that’s okay?”

the corners of Mingi’s mouth slightly curled up into a cute smile and nodded 

later that day, Mingi had practice with his band and Yunho decided to bring you along 

you were probably just as nervous as Mingi was when he first met you 

without thinking, he grabbed your hands and lightly shook them

“they’ll love you. you’re an amazing guitarist and vocalist”

when you looked up at him was when he let go of your hands and you gave him a light smile and nod 

when you walked in you saw 3 other guys look at you and Mingi standing at the door

Mingi scratched his head as he introduced you to his band mates

without much of an audition, you joined their band

although you were the only girl, they treated you more like a little brother than a girl

but you were more comfortable with that 

Mingi tried to act the same way his band mates were with you 

but every time you looked at him, he could feel the sickly sweet butterflies flood his stomach 

the band met up once every week after that; planning for the next gig and writing new songs 

since Mingi brought up that you were a skilled composer as well; you were paired up with him to write songs 

the more time he spent with you, the more he wanted to be with you 

but every time he asked you if you were free, you’d tell him that you were with Yunho 

he was just playing tug of war with himself at this point

there were no mutual feelings; to him, he was just a friend and a band mate

he wasn’t okay with just those titles 

but he didn’t have the confidence to break his friendship for titles 

Mingi was laying on the couch of the band room throwing a mini tantrum 

“you good?”

he opens his eyes and sees you hovering over him 

out of surprise, he screams and collapse onto the floor 

you giggle at him as you help him up, “I didn’t mean to scare you like that... I called out your name a couple times and you weren’t answering...”

he pretends that of that ever happened and sits back on the couch, “so what’s up?”

“ah,” you hand him your notebook with a couple of finished songs

Mingi’s jaws are literally on the ground as he raised his eyes to look at you, “you wrote ALL of these?”

you smiled widely and smiled, “I’ve been feeling really inspired lately”

he goes over your notes and he’s literally in awe 

“you should demo these songs right away!”

“already one step in front of you,” he receives a text from you with all of the guides you had for all of your songs

“and you haven’t signed up with a label yet?” he thinks it’s a waste of talent that you aren’t signed with a label yet

even when he offered his label, you declined

the band was officially under his label but you were an unofficial member which was okay with the label  

you sharply inhaled and dragged out your exhale, “as much as I love music.. I don’t know if that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life.. I actually have no idea what I want to do with my life and that’s kinda scary..”

“scarier than me?” Mingi tries to make light of the situation

and then you shoot that angelic smile he loves so much, “you’re not scary, not one bit..”

just then, Yunho bursts in the room with a huge stuff animal

“Y/N! look what I won at the arcades!” 

all the attention Mingi received from you was on Yunho at this point 

Mingi tightly held onto your notebook as Yunho hits you with the soft plushie

you grabbed hold of it as you tried to peep over it at Yunho, “can I have it?”

Yunho tried to hide his smiling face by putting his hand over his mouth, “well, there’s no space in my room for it.. you’ve seen it.... you can have it if you want..”

Yunho’s smiles more prominently when he sees you excitedly swing the plushie around, “you’re the best, Yunho!”

Mingi was sitting there on the couch like a statue

it was like he was watching a rom-com; involving the main couple and a secret love triangle with a background actor 

Mingi excuses himself after saying that he’ll go over the songs at home 

ever since then, he’s been distant from you and Yunho 

he shoves his face with work to forget about being in that spotlight with you

but every time he wants to give up, you show up brighter than the previous encounter 

he never hangs out with just you anymore; it’s either with the band or with Yunho 

with a performance coming up, it was crucial for you all to get together 

everyone was trying their hardest to match up with Mingi; he was offbeat and his playing style fluctuated causing the band mates to try to figure out how to perform 

“Mingi are you serious? what the hell are you playing? you think you can do whatever you like because you’re the leader and you with the label before any of us?” the keyboardist slammed on the keys; he was the oldest and yet Mingi was the leader

Mingi nod his head to apologize for his condition, “I’m not my best toda-”

“you weren’t your best all month.. dude we literally have until this weekend and we’re performing.. are we a joke to you?” the other guitarist chimed into the mess

even the bassist had something to say, “Y/N did all the hard work to write and demo the songs while you just listened to them and give the okay.. you’re the main composer and yet all month you haven’t done shit!”

you didn’t know what to do or say, “let’s just take a deep breath and try again okay? if we need to we can listen to the instrumental version for a guide...”

but Mingi got up once again to excuse himself and that he’ll be better tomorrow 

the sound of the door closing echoes the room as everyone sighs in disappointment and frustration

you took off your guitar and set it down, “I’ll go talk to him..”

they nodded; you ran out and you could see you walking into the elevator 

you made it in before the doors could close 

but the whole time Mingi couldn’t and wouldn’t look up at you

“Mingi..”

“I’m leaving”

you furrowed your brows in confusion

“what do you mean?”

“after the performance, the label wants to their headquarters to Japan since our band is more popular there..”

“what about the band?” you murmured, he could hear the sadness in your voice 

“the band is leaving too.. this was all suppose to be a secret from you because..” he looks up at you through his bangs like he always does, “you are very special to us.. we care about you a lot and it hurts us to leave you... it hurts me...”

when he reaches the main floor, he holds it open as his back his faced towards you, “don’t tell them that you know... and don’t tell Yunho.. I’ll tell him myself...” 

you were able to muster up an, “ok” 

but you were in shock, you could feel tears well up 

you hated the feeling you were having

and seeing you caught up on your tears was like a shot through Mingi’s heart

he quickly pulls you into a hug as tight as ever

“please don’t cry Y/N...” he whispers as he places his chin on top of your head

he made sure you were definitely alright before he sent you back up to the band room 

when they saw you return, dragging your feet towards them, they could tell that Mingi told you their secret 

but they didn’t say anything but hug you, you were their little sibling after all 

you realized they lashed out at Mingi because they blamed him for leaving you all by yourself 

how he brought an angel of sibling to them only to have them leave you behind

but they knew the real reason why and they kept that to themselves as they continued to practice one more time with you

the preparations for the last performance was something that you wanted to cherish forever

you spent more time with your band mates than you did with Yunho during these times 

Mingi even tried to be more cheerful than he was the past couple of weeks for your sake 

on the day of the performance, you could barely recognize Mingi

his bangs were swept up and you could finally see his clear, brown eyes 

he never appealed to you as a man before but today was different 

and Mingi was going to take advantage of his last day 

everyone’s nervousness and sadness were washed after the first song

then the second song 

then the third song

all the way down to the 7th and final song; even though everyone was exhausted from playing, there was still an urge to continue 

the end was moments away and you couldn’t accept it 

that was when Mingi took your guitar and asked if he could have his solo stage 

no one was expecting this, not even the rest of the band

he settled down as began to sang as he strummed the guitar

no one has ever seen him play the guitar before

apparently, he spent his own time trying to learn how to play his own composed song 

for who? only he would know 

[You’re bad and I know it. Then why the hell am I. Chasing you.]

[I like you, I can’t help it. I’m already into you].

[Really I loved you. I just loved you too much. That I can’t forget about you even though I want to. That’s why I want to forget you.]

[Though I want to hate you. I hate you more because I can’t hate you.]

[You’re so beautiful when you smile. So whenever I see you’ve lost your smile, I want to give it back to you.]

[I’d rather cry instead of letting you cry. I want to be hurt rather than letting you get hurt. I don’t want you to ever get hurt again.]

[Loving someone more than I can take. It’s so strange, when you love someone.]

[This is a song for you. Oh I’m singing for you. I’ll give you everything.]

after his song, he gulps down the sadness in his throat and announces his fans of the band’s departure and says that the song was for them

when really?

he spent day and night

in the library or on the bus 

writing the perfect lyrics

and getting blisters when learning how to play the guitar 

for you

all of this was for you

he was the one that made the proposal to bring the band to Japan

because then you would focus on finding something you loved to do instead of wasting it with the band around; the band agreed to this 

so then you could focus solely on Yunho and be with someone who truly makes you happy 

so then Mingi could finally forget about you 

this was his way of giving up and no one else had to know about it

later that night, after everyone went home, Yunho helped Mingi pack his final things; making sure that the next tenant was coming the following day

Yunho breaks the sentimental atmosphere 

“you like Y/N, do you Mingi?” 

Mingi stops in his place as he heard his best friend ask him a question he feared the most

“what does it matter.. I’m leaving..” 

“you never even tried-”

“tried what? to take my best friend’s long lost first love? tried to go behind my best friend’s back and seduce her?” Mingi crumbles at all the words he’s been wanted to say

“yeah.. I like Y/N.. I liked her... but how could I have made it anything more when my best friend was finally happy and in love with the same girl?”

Mingi drops his stuff and hugs Yunho, “you’re my best friend; the brother I never but wished I had.. I wish you all the happiest in the world.. and I don’t have to tell you to take care of her because I know you will...” 

Yunho clenches Mingi’s shoulders as he tries not to cry

Mingi was his first friend when he came back to Korea and now he’s leaving 

“you better visit, you idiot..” Yunho manages to say

Mingi roughly pats Yunho’s back as he also manages to keep his composure, “I will..”

you couldn’t believe your ears; you heard everything on your balcony 

you just sat there and quietly sobbed 

you didn’t know what to think of anything at this point

your band, basically family, were leaving you 

your friend was in love with you and you were blind to it 

and Yunho was just in the middle of all of it

you bit the inside part of your cheeks to stop yourself from crying so loudly

why did everyone who was once part of your life leaving you?

with the exception of Yunho, Mingi was leaving

you never heard from Yeosang after the incident with Seonghwa

and Hongjoong was definitely out of the picture 

you looked up at the brightest star you could find above the mountains and you wished with all of you heart; hoping to find long-lasting happiness 

at the same time, the boy living in small city in the mountains looked up at the skies and prayed to the same star for the same thing; long-lasting happiness

and he places his worn, good luck charm on his boxes, ready to move into the same room Mingi once resided in 

I WISH, I WISH UPON A STAR.. THAT IT’S [blank] I WRITE FOR NEXT.

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

[dachi-chan25]

How do months in 2020 manage to last years and yet end in the blink of an eye???

Anyway I did finish my TBR so...

1 -The Vampire Armand (The Vampire Chronicles 5) by Anne Rice

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Sooo, this one was my least favorite the 1st time I read this series and I hoped to like it more since I wasn't finding Armand as annoying in the first 4 books but gosh I really feel Anne Rice doesn't have much love for characters that are not Lestat, cuz I feel Armand could have been intresting but the book lacks the passion and wit Anne adds everytime she writes Lestat so yeah it was pretty meh. I love the cover tho.

2.-Dead and Alive (Prodigal Son #3) - Dean R. Koontz

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I was plesantly surprised. I hadn't very high expectatives for this one cuz even though I enjoyed book 2 I thought the pacing was waaaaay too slow, the plot wasn't advancing much. But this one was super cool, it picked up inconcluse storylines from the 1st book and that CLIFFHANGER!!!! The romance between the detectives was meh, like I wish I had liked them both more but the Erikas have my heart and I want to see more of Deucalion.

3.- Wild Cards I - George R. R Martin

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I was so disappointed. Ok so the concept is pretty cool. Like an alien virus is set loose and it causes some people to have amazing superpowers and other people gets terrible mutations, What's not to like??? But oh my fucking god. The mysogyny of this book. I can usually read books with mysogyny like I enjoy classics like 1984 despite the rampant way in which the protagonist hates woman. I couldn't handle it here. The female characters have less dimension than a sheet of paper and they depend entirely on the male characters it ruined the whole thing for me, and the writing was mediocre at times (I mean I know this was written by multiple authors but at points the quality of the writing droped like super hard) I am not picking the next one.

4.-My Sister the Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braithwaite

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I just love horror stories where a pretty girl is the killer. Like they are so enjoyable. And this particular story is so good because we have this 2 sisters, they are very different, one is like the epítome of beauty and the other is an average woman. The pretty one literally can do no wrong in everyones eyes and that’s just fine cuz she just so happens to kill her boyfriends. Her sister who is a nurse helps her clean up and get rid of the bodies because at first she believes they were abusive towards her sister but then she starts to get suspicious and things are super cool and intresting. I feel it could have gone deeper with some stuff but it was a great and quick read.

5.- Moloka'i - Alan Brenett

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I cried so much. This book is about Rachel, a girl diagnosed with leprosy at 7 years old during the 1890's and is sent away to live at the leprosarium in Moloka'i, Hawaii. We follow Rachel as she makes friends and family and loses them all over again to the sickness as she grows older. This book was so beautiful and pretty diverse (I loved Leilani I had never seen trans representation in a 19th century book) full of history and humanity. An amazing read I fully recommend it.

6.- New Suns: Original speculative fiction by people of color - Nisi Shawl.

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I Loved it. One of my main problems with anthologies is that inevitably I find some stories better than other but that was not the case here, every story had an intresting premise and amazing writing (my fave was maybe the one with the lesbian mermaid or the one were a woman raised the death to get rid of colonizers) like I need to read more from all these authors ASAP.

7.- Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevski

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I love me some good classic. This one is really amazing , I love how much we get into Raskolinov's psyche and the things that lead him to comit the crime and the effect it has on him once he does. And all this conversation about morality and if it's ever valid to commit a crime even if it's for the "greater good" and all that good stuff about how people trapped in poverty are more likely to fall down the rabbit whole of prostitution and crime and yassssss it was good,

8.- A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

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I struggled like I should have known they would use the slang like in the movie (but I watched the movie in Spanish) so I was just vibing in the first few pages of the book barely understanding shit, except those words in other lenguages and then I started to pick it up and the book is so good??? Like Alex is awfull but the book actually makes a compeling argument about free will and the concept of choosing between good or evil. In general terms the movie is super accurate tho and yeah I really enjoyed this read.

9.- The Winter of the Witch (Winternight #3) - Katherine Arden

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I LOVED it. This book absolutely messed me up. Like I suffered a lot for my girl Vasya. And then all the stuff with the Bear and Morozco and the war, ahhhhh it was a LOT, but the ending was pretty satisfying, I cried tons and I am hoping we get another saga maybe following Marya this time????? I will just read anything Katherine Arden writes tbh.

10.-Lifestyles of Gods and Monsters - Emily Roberson

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It was ok??? I wished it had been more about the sisters together as opposed to make Ariadne "not like the other girls" I am sick of that trope, and the "beautiful but doesn't know it" and less about the romance. Like the premise of retelling this greek myth as a reality show actually picked my interest but the execution wasn't that great it had lots of clichés I hate and mentioned before, what I kinda liked was that even though Ariadne had a romance she decides to start over by herself when things kinda fall apart and she is maybe open to dating another dude at the end, which honestly was a relief for me cuz I feel a lot of time YA pushes this idea that your first love is the only love you'll ever feel and that’s dumb .

11.-The Glass Menagerie - Tennessee Williams

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I really love this play, well Tennessee Williams plays in general, and aire felt like re reading this one. I love Laura so much and it was a pleasure to read this again.

12.-In the Miso soup - Ryu Murakami

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This is a very gorey book. Lots of graphic murders and violence, mentions of the sex trade in Japan. This was a very intresting read, lots of insight into the japanese society and how this very cliché image people have of it is completely wrong. Again sex trade is heavily discused as our protagonist makes a living out of taking foreigners to experience the sex clubs in Tokyo he meets this sketchy american guy who hires him, our protagonist has a feeling he might be a murderer and it goes from there. I really enjoyed it a lot and might consider reading another book by Ryu Murakami.

13.- The Downstairs Girl - Stacey Lee

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It was amazing to read about an asian girl in the post-civil war era, and how this minority kind of lived in a limbo cuz white people didn't think much about them when making up all this crap ass rules about where PoC where supposed to live in or sit. And our protagonist Jo, is really a charming girl with a lot of opinions and so passionate I loved her so much. It was a bit cheesy at times, and I saw the book's big reveal coming but still it was a pretty good read.

14.-En el bosque bajo los cerezos en flor - Ango Sakaguchi

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Me gustaron mucho las historias, todas realmente te meten a una atmósfera japonesa: las imágenes como las flores de cerezo, los kimonos, templos, budas. Y las mezclan con un terror por lo desconocido y lo no visto que encaja tan bien en cada una de las historias. Realmente lo disfrute muchísimo y me gustaría leer más trabajos de este autor.

15.- Agamemnon - Aeschylus

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I am weak for the greek plays. And this rocks so much. Chlymenestra is a queen, I stan her so hard. This play always makes me feel so bad for Cassandra, like how shitty is it to have the power to make super accurate predictions but no one ever believes you???

[arisu-artnfics]

2020 by Arisu-ArtnFics

Nota: mensaje en español estará después. Note: for those wondering, that sentence only mean that the Spanish message will be afterwards. ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————  Hello everyone 👋🏻👋🏻 

It's a new year, new me? That phrase many may had said it, while others no. Last time I wrote one of these I already change the format/design of it. Anyway, the year still bright new and I have a list of stuff -and by that I mean art and fics- to do. I want to share some of my future fics and arts, I'm doing. The main one that I still working on is the impressive long -until now- fic from the #Lucifer fandom. For those new ones, first in all, thank you for follow me; and well, Lucifer is the new or actually not new TV show that I keep watching on netflix for a very long time in a loop. If any of you want to talk about it, feel free to do so.

Read more on DeviantArt

The main arts I'll doing soon is all the request that started last year? or before ^^; ^^; After my art block from last year, I'm ready to do more. Then I'll do new requests -if I get any- and write more chapters for my outgoing fic. Finally once all that is done during the duration of the year, I will doing personal arts or fics. I do also want to say that this account and all under the name of 'Arisu-ArtnFics' is fan relate it. On the other hand, I also want to draw some extra pieces during the year -maybe in special dates-special for me-- for any of the fandoms I'm into. I'm thinking on starting making pieces for Lucifer, as I'm working on a very long fic. I'll keep doing stuff for Naruto - SNS/NSN focus- and Miraculous Ladybug -mainly Love square focus- as that's what I like. Finally, I supposed I can say that while I'm focusing on one thing, I have the tendency of not and do more. I mean that I'll do as much as I plan but it won't be in a special orden -to say so- when those are post. Then I guess I should remind everyone that all I have is: DeviantArt, Tumblr, Facebook, Fanfiction.net and AO3. As well, remind you that if you don't comment, reblog or like I don't really know if what I do gets view or not, and I just do what I do for fun, just saying. I also have a part time job-not as I would like to do-for almost a year now. So, have in mind that obviously, I'm free after work and during the weekends. Anyway, I wish you all the best; cheers, Arisu-ArtnFics PS: I also tend to do fast updates as status on deviantart and Arisu#8007 is my discord name, the only place that have a different one. ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Hola a todos 👋🏻👋🏻 Nuevo año, nuevo yo? Esa frase muchos pueden haberla dicho, mientras que otros no. La última vez que escribí uno de estos cambié el formato/diseño de estos. De todos modos, el año aún es nuevo y brillante y tengo una lista de cosas - y con eso quiero decir arte y fics- que hacer. Quiero compartir algunos de mis futuros fics y artes, lo estoy haciendo.   El principal que todavía sigo trabajando es el impresionante largo -hasta ahora- fic para el fandom de #Lucifer. Para aquellos que son nuevos, en primer lugar, gracias por seguirme; y bueno, Lucifer es el nuevo o realmente no nuevo programa de televisión que sigo viendo en netflix durante mucho tiempo sin parar. Si alguno de ustedes quiere hablar al respecto, no dude en hacerlo. Los principales artes que haré pronto son todas las solicitudes que comencé el año pasado? o antes ^^; ^^; Después de mi bloque artístico del año pasado, estoy lista para hacer más. Luego haré nuevas solicitudes - si obtengo alguna- y escribiré más capítulos para mi fic en progreso. Finalmente, una vez que todo se haya hecho durante el año, haré artes o fics personales. También quiero decir que esta cuenta y todo bajo el nombre de 'Arisu-ArtnFics' es relaciona con fans. Por otro lado, también quiero dibujar algunas piezas adicionales durante el año -tal vez en fechas especiales-especiales para mí-- para cualquiera de los fandoms en los que estoy. Estoy pensando en comenzar a hacer piezas para Lucifer, ya que estoy trabajando en un fic muy largo. Seguiré haciendo cosas para Naruto - enfocandome en SNS/NSN- y Miraculous Ladybug -principalmente enfocandome en el cuadrado de amoroso- ya que eso es lo que me gusta. Finalmente, supongo que puedo decir que si bien me estoy enfocando en una cosa, tengo la tendencia de no hacerlo y hacer más. Lo que quiero decir es que haré todo lo que planeo pero no será en un orden especial -por así decirlo- cuando se publiquen. De allí supongo que debería recordarles a todos que todo lo que tengo es: DeviantArt, Tumblr, Facebook, Fanfiction.net y AO3. Además, recordarles que si no hace comentarios, rebloguean o marcan 'me gusta', realmente no sé si lo que hago es visto o no, y solo hago lo que hago por diversión, solo digo. También tengo un trabajo a medio tiempo-no lo que me gustaría- por casi un año ahora. Así que, tengan en cuenta que obviamente, estoy libre después del trabajo y durante los fines de semana. De todos modos, les deseo a todos lo mejor; saludos, Arisu-ArtnFics PD: también tiendo a hacer actualizaciones rápidas como estados en deviantart y Arisu#8007 es mi nombre en discord, el único lugar que tiene uno diferente.