#maybe i should start using money emoji

[helianthus-tarot]

So I've been sending strawberry 🍓 emoji lately to my food delivery riders, bcs it's cute, and that's like, the only time I use them. But now strawberry keeps appearing for some reason ? In random people's texts and videos and I even saw a strawberry mug, a strawberry button ? These were not tagged with strawberry. And my mom ? just bought several packs of strawberries.

[hannieoftheyear]

sexting with Mingyu

the one where you accidentally send Mingyu – someone who you do not like – a nude.

✧.* content: smut, sexting, mingyu is an avid emoji user, switch mingyu but more subby at the end (sawrrrry I can’t help it), use of pet names (good boy and baby).

✧.* w.c: 2,9k

✧.* note: I wanted to post a quick work to get this blog going while I finish some longer things I’m working on ♡ hope you like it and I’m sorry if there are any mistakes

part 2 is posted! find it here

Your eyes roll when your phone lights up and the text notification pops up.

Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t forget to transfer me the money for Seokmin’s bday 🙏 [11:47 pm.]

The idea of Kim Mingyu of all people handling something as important as a birthday surprise for your best friend irks you.

Of course, he was his best friend too. But why on earth did he end up making the plans. And who made you follow his lead. It’s like torture. You don’t want to engage with him in any way.

He was so smug when everyone decided he should be in charge of the surprise party. The decision was between you and him, and you guess people don’t really like your style of planning because it was a unanimous vote. Still, you liked not having to stress so much about it, but having to rely on your sworn enemy makes you shrug.

Okay, maybe sworn enemy it’s an exaggeration. You two just don’t like each other, and that’s fine. Not everyone is always going to like you, and you’re okay with that. The problem is when you can’t avoid said person because you’re in the same fucking friend group.

You two avoid each other if possible. When the whole group hangs out, you try to stay as far away as you can. It’s not like you fight with him, but your exchanges are short and dry, often a little harsh, so you try your best to avoid it to not spoil the mood.

After you transfer him the money, you take a screenshot to send him. It’s not really needed, but you do it just to make sure there’s proof that you transferred the money.

You open his chat and send the last picture on your camera roll without even looking, trying to be done with him the fastest possible.

You: [Picture.] [11:50 pm.]

Locking your phone, you keep working on the assignment your boss asked you to finish by tomorrow. But it gets cut short because not even five minutes later, Mingyu texts you again. You don’t open his chat, but instead, read it through the notification.

Kim Mingyu🤢: didn’t take you as the type to take pics like that 🫣 [11:54 pm.]

You wonder what the hell he’s talking about and why he chose such an annoying emoji.

As you open the chat, your eyes grow wide, and you realize you forgot to check what exactly you were sending Mingyu.

It seems that your screenshot hadn’t fully loaded on the gallery, and you accidentally sent him the previous last photo on your camera roll, which was a mirror selfie of you wearing a new pair of underwear you bought today.

Panic starts to creep in on you, but before doing anything stupid, you breathe in and breathe out, calming yourself to think. Mingyu’s still online, which means he’s probably waiting for your answer.

Instead of admitting it was on accident or showing him any weakness, you decide to play with him a little. He likes to annoy you too, so why not do the same.

You: you never know… I’m full of surprises.

You: why wouldn’t I take a pic if I look pretty? [11:55 pm]

You don’t expect much but his reply comes as soon as you click send.

Kim Mingyu🤢: surprised I definitely am🤔 can’t decide if I like this side of you or not🫢 [11:55 pm.]

You: like I care about your validation [11:56 pm.]

Kim Mingyu🤢: you should.

You: ?

Kim Mingyu🤢: take pics like this I mean😳

Now this is getting interesting.

You: so you think I look pretty? [11:57 pm.]

You wouldn’t lie and say him saying things like this doesn’t make you a little giddy. He’s always so dry with you. You definitely prefer this side of him.

Kim Mingyu🤢: you should send me another one🫣 it’ll help me make up my mind.

You ponder on what’s happening for a solid minute before replying. Is he flirting? Is he teasing you? Will this just be another thing to annoy you in the future?

You: can you stop with those fuckass emojis. [11:58 pm.]

You: I’m not speaking to you if you keep talking like that.

Kim Mingyu🤢: what if I say please?

Now that. Is unexpected. At first it seemed like he wanted to annoy you too, but now he’s almost… begging? How far is he willing to take it? How willing are you?

You: you’re so annoying.

You: I’m trying to work.

Kim Mingyu🤢: all this time we've known each other and I’ve never even seen you in a bikini. [11:59 pm]

Kim Mingyu🤢: what a waste of time.

You: was it worth the wait?

Kim Mingyu🤢: you have no idea.

You: enlighten me then.

Kim Mingyu🤢: oh I don’t think you’re prepared for that.

The conversation is taking a turn you’re not sure if you should take. Exciting you in ways that it shouldn’t.

A chat between the two of you never exceeded a few texts. You are both always so eager to end it as soon as possible, so why does he keep replying? Why do you?

You: what do you want Mingyu? [12:00 am]

Your blatant question seems to take him by surprise because he doesn’t reply right away.

Kim Mingyu🤢: me? You’re the one that sent me a fucking nude at this hour [12:01 am]

He’s right. Are you embarrassing yourself? He’s never gonna let you live after this. But you’re not backing down now.

You: I wasn’t even naked you pervert [12:02 am]

You: and it didn’t seem to matter to you before

You: you liked it didn’t you

Kim Mingyu🤢: never said I didn’t

You: so…

Kim Mingyu🤢: what?

You: are you gonna do something about it?

You’re too curious for your own good. The lines between annoying him and flirting with him are getting more and more blurred every second that passes.

Now it’s your turn to be surprised.

Kim Mingyu🤢: you can’t ask me that [12:03 am]

You: why?

Minutes pass, and you see him typing, then nothing, then typing again. Your room starts to feel hotter, the expectation getting the best of you, and you start to feel a familiar feeling at the base of your stomach.

Kim Mingyu🤢: you should never send a desperate guy something like that at this hour [12:06 am]

You: are you that desperate?

Kim Mingyu🤢: [Picture.]

Kim Mingyu🤢: does that answer your question?

You stare in awe at your phone for what feels like an hour. His hard dick covered by his white boxers threatening to come out fills your screen. Nothing is left to the imagination.

Kim Mingyu🤢: cat got your tongue? [12:08 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: [Picture.]

Kim Mingyu🤢: it’s getting difficult to not touch myself

A second photo fills your screen now. It’s almost in the same position, except now his hand is covering his bulge, and his red tip is out.

Wetness starts to pool on your underwear, but he doesn’t need to know, yet at least.

You: I never pictured you as such a needy guy. [12:10 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m not ashamed to be who I am🙈

You: even with you hands on your pants you manage to send a fucking emoji wow. [12:11 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: I can send something else

Kim Mingyu🤢: only if you want of course

You straighten yourself, waiting for another photo, but nothing happens. When you move on your seat, you feel just how wet you are. Oh you’re gonna kill him after this.

You: I really hate you you know [12:14 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: aren’t you supposed to be working?😨

You: you’re distracting

Kim Mingyu🤢: oh so you do want this

You: this? [12:15 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: all you have to do is ask

Kim Mingyu🤢: nicely

You: you really gonna make me beg?

Kim Mingyu🤢: want me to show you how horny I am?

Kim Mingyu🤢: you want me to make you feel good.

You: you could never make me feel good. [12:16 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: oh we’ll see about that.

The act you’re putting up won’t last much longer if he keeps up like this. Your right hand creeps down your abdomen. You barely graze your covered cunt, the little relief makes you sigh.

You’re too lost in the little pleasure and don’t realize he sent more texts.

Kim Mingyu🤢: [voice note] [12:18 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: your turn.

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m dying over here

Kim Mingyu🤢: are you touching yourself? [12:19 am]

You: you’re leaving me no choice. [12:20 am]

You decide to play with him a little and send him a ‘one view only’ photo of your hand inside your panties. The same panties as the first photo you sent.

After you reply, you dare to play his voice note. The faint sound of his hand tugging on his erection and his little grunts are nothing compared to the sigh he lets out at the end. You play with your fingers, circling them around your wet entrance.

Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re so not fair. [12:22 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: I bet you’re so wet right now

Kim Mingyu🤢: I wish you were here so I could touch you properly [12:23 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: my fingers playing with your little cunt like the brat you are

This can’t hurt, right? It’s not like it will happen again, and besides he’s already jerking off to your image. You start circling around your clit, playing with yourself making you squirm.

You: I’m so wet [12:24 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: did i get you all riled up already?

You: don’t flatter yourself

Kim Mingyu🤢: tell me.

Kim Mingyu🤢: show me how wet you are [12:25 am]

You: I could just slide my fingers in

Kim Mingyu🤢: I said show me

You debate if you should actually send him something. You know he’s trustworthy. He’s friends with your best friends after all, but this is something far beyond that.

You: should I? [12:26 am]

You: I could just leave you like this

You: get it done by myself

It could be read a threat, but you want to see how he reacts.

Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t be mean☹️

Kim Mingyu🤢: I won’t show this to anyone [12:27 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: if that worries you

Kim Mingyu🤢: I promise

His sudden kindness surprises you a little.

You’re not sure if you always found Mingyu attractive. Sure he’s really handsome that’s undeniable. Maybe when you first met, you thought he was really hot, but those feelings died down because your relationship wasn’t the best. You had a few fights before you decided it was best for the group to just ignore each other if possible.

This was the first time in years you had a long conversation that didn’t end in a fight, and you like it.

You: I'm not the type to do this you know [12:28 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m not either

You: but I don't want to stop

Kim Mingyu🤢: me neither

Knowing he wants this, too, just turns you on more. He’s not pushing you to do anything, and you guess that if you tell him to stop, he will. But you have to make sure before you do something.

You: just promise me this is between us [12:30 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: you have my word🤐

You: be serious for one second

Kim Mingyu🤢: you can trust me

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m serious I won’t show or tell anyone

That is enough to calm you for now. You don’t think about how this will affect your relationship. Seokmin’s birthday is just a few days away, and you’ll have to face Mingyu in front of everyone.

But that doesn’t bother you now as you’re filming what Mingyu so desperately was asking you to.

You angle your phone to show only your lower body on camera. You start the video circling your entrance, gathering as much arousal as possible. After that, you move your fingers closer to the camera to show how wet they are and then slowly insert two fingers in your hole. You end the video after a little moan escapes your lips

You: for being such a good boy [12:35 am]

You: [video]

You don’t stop fingering yourself and close your eyes, imagining it’s Mingyu’s hand and not yours. His thick fingers would stretch you more than yours ever could. A few slow strokes are enough to make you squirm. And you remember to open your eyes and see you got more texts from Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu🤢: holy fuck [12:37 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re dripping

Kim Mingyu🤢: I should be there right now

Kim Mingyu🤢: show you what my mouth could do

Kim Mingyu🤢: could eat you out for hours

Kim Mingyu🤢: fuck you’re making me so hard [12:38 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: [picture]

He had taken his boxers off and was now fully naked. His hand could barely wrap around his fully hard dick. The tip is pinkish red and leaking precum already.

You: fuck you’re so big [12:39 am]

You: I don’t think it could fit inside me

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’ll make it fit

You: how?

Kim Mingyu🤢: I'd make you cum so much that I'd slide right in

You: are you touching yourself?

Kim Mingyu🤢: god how I wish this was you instead of my hand

You close your eyes again. Imagining Mingyu on top of you as you finger yourself harder, as deep as you possibly can. Wet sounds and moans fill your room as you get closer and closer.

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m so close it’s embarrassing [12:41 am]

You: I am too

Kim Mingyu🤢: show me?🥺

The giggle you let out is almost instantaneous. His emojis are annoyingly cute.

You take a similar video as before, but don’t hold back the moans. Your strokes are slow to show on camera how deep you’re getting. The orgasm is so close that you can taste it, but you stop, edging yourself.

You: because you asked so nicely [12:43 am]

You: [video.]

You: now you

You wait a few minutes, stroking you clit lightly to not lose the orgasm but not quickly enough to stimulate much.

The torture doesn’t last long because a video appears in your chat along with more texts.

Kim Mingyu🤢: holy shit [12:44 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re so hot

Kim Mingyu🤢: god that should be my hand

Kim Mingyu🤢: [video] [12:45 pm]

As soon as you press play you’re welcomed by Mingyu’s delicious moans. His cock is shiny with pre cum all over it, now angry red. He moans at every pump and you feel yourself getting wetter.

Unexpectedly, he also speaks: “I’m so close" his voice is hoarse and deep like you’ve never heard before, “I wish this was your hand, shit only imagining makes me almost cum" and finally, “please… tell me I can cum… can I cum?”

You never expected the big buff Kim Mingyu to be so needy. It just makes you hornier if that’s even possible.

You: you’re so needy baby [12:47 am]

You: I’m close too

You: been edging myself waiting for you

Kim Mingyu🤢: shit baby don’t say stuff like that [12:48 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: im about to burst

You: want to cum big boy?

Kim Mingyu🤢: pleeasee

You: look who’s begging now

Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t play with me right now

Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re just as desperate as me

Kim Mingyu🤢: use three fingers for me and cum baby [12:49 am]

You don’t need to be told twice. You press record and insert three fingers into your cunt. You’re so wet they just slide in and you let out a long moan, increasing your speed at every thrust. It’s not long until you’re shaking and cumming all over your hand and bed.

But you don’t end the video there. You grab your phone and film your face as you suck your fingers clean while staring at the camera lense.

You: [video.] [12:51 am]

You: your turn to cum baby

As you wait for him, you go clean yourself up and grab new sheets for the bed.

Kim Mingyu🤢: [video] [12:53]

You press play and the sight of his hand is rapidly stoking his hard dick welcomes you, no more than five strokes after the video starts he lets out a long ground and is cumming all over his abs.

Kim Mingyu🤢: that was [12:54]

Kim Mingyu🤢: holy shit

Kim Mingyu🤢: I never came so fast in my life

You: embarrassingly me neither

The conversations stills for a few minutes, even though it feels like hours. What do you say after sexting with someone you supposedly hate?

You: I guess I’ll see you on saturday [01:03 am]

You're left on read a few more minutes, and you wonder if he already regrets this.

Kim Mingyu🤢: yeah right [01:06 am]

Kim Mingyu🤢: I’ll send everyone what hour to come by to prepare everything

Kim Mingyu🤢: see you then

It’s so awkward that you don’t send anything after.

You don’t regret it, but you do fear what’s going to happen.

Note: sorry if the ending it’s a little sudden, I don’t know how to finish this but I do want to write a part two 😉

[accio-victuuri]

now it’s time for me to scream and cry about the lrlg post. it’s been so long! and the fact that it came to us in the new year, welcoming 2025 with good vibes! this is the perfect start. even if the conversations are random ( as they usually are ), it’s so comforting to read about. even if just for the sake of fiction. this is fitting cause earlier today, there was a screenshot going around of another celebrity’s assistant and she was using a bjyx related merch (nye show). so it’s either this person is a bxg or they know someone who is and they borrowed the bag. so yeah. we may have people who see and hear things. that was the point of the fake rumors from the start, those who know stuff can share.

which leads us to lrlg. my fave tho is the visibility of yibo’s staff. some are even assigning who’s who based on the nye photo that was shared. this is his inner circle and per the convos, they are also close to xz. to those who are confused, in the original text his staff are assigned different emojis. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

we have talked before about how important it is that their staff is coordinated. i really like how wyb is able to just leave xz with them and he can hold his own. it’s crucial that they can be open to a certain group of people and just be themselves.

• the part about accessories and reimbursement & the latest model didn’t make sense to me when i first read it. but then fans explained it as WYB gave each staff member a latest top-end iPhone (should be 16) and asked them to choose the accessories themselves and all the parts would be reimbursed. wow. such a generous boss! i mean, that’s usual for WYB. can i please apply? lol.

• this part. it’s so sweet i wanna slap them! how xz wouldn’t eat without wyb. it’s such a normal thing to do, but so important for them.

🟢 "Why aren't you eating yet?"

🔴 "It's only five minutes, you should be back in fifteen minutes."

and how yibo was like, why don’t you eat and he joked that it’s different when you are with your family member.

• how he was calling yibo dog because when he fed him his “gloves” were bitten through. how he also called him a pig ( which has it’s own lore ) . lol. they really love to clown each other. but yibo is his puppy tho, gouzaizai! and the fact that xz is feeding him. it’s not enough that xz will wait for him to eat together. he will also hand feed wang yibo. i mean. i hate it here. 🥹🥹🥹🥹

• there was mention of puppy printed pants and some are saying it could be this. well, let’s see who will wear something similar first.

• wyb asking if they ordered fruits, most likely for xz. he knows that xz loves it! he is so attentive!

• i was very interested in what they were eating. a fan said it’s most likely beijing roast duck. and it makes sense why xz had to wash his hands, why he was wrapping the food and feeding it to yibo. making sure they eat well is still a top priority on both sides.

• at the start of the convo, wyb was talking about buying gold jewelry for xz and it’s funny cause fans are saying it’s a fitting gift. we all know xz is the god of money and he is someone that seems to be very aware of finances. so the gift is not only in a romantic sense, but also practical. wyb knows this and it’s why he chose that.

i saw someone say it may be this. the gold is real.

• the part when wyb’s staff said xz is his (wyb’s) boss 😂😂😂😂 it reminded us of that cpn, when wyb’s bodyguards are looking and guarding xz instead of him.

• this ⬇️⬇️⬇️

🟢 "I'll pick you up in the afternoon"

🔴 "No need to worry about what time I'll be back"

🟢 "Call me when you're done"

yibo is so boyfriend i wanna cry. this is such a normal thing to do considering they have all the resources. but yibo still wants to do it himself. yibo the driver is here!!!!!

that’s all. maybe i missed some stuff and we may understand some of these better as the days go by. depending on the other clues that will be available to us in the future. again, you don’t need to believe any of this. don’t take it too seriously. bjyxszd. 💕

[666writingcafe]

Feeling a Bit Tense?

A (Mildly NSFW) Text Conversation Between Barbatos and MC

Barbatos: *waving emoji*

MC: *gif of someone waving tiredly*

Barbatos: Rough day?

MC: *gif of someone shrugging*

Barbatos: Do you need or want to talk about it?

MC: Should I?

Barbatos: If it will make you feel better, yes.

MC: *keeps typing and erasing messages*

Barbatos: Does this have anything to do with Solomon? If he's been messing with you, I'll be more than happy to talk to him for you.

MC: No need.

Barbatos: Do you genuinely feel that way, or are you just trying to get me to back off?

MC: Regarding this particular issue, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Barbatos: Okay.

Barbatos: So, what sort of "issue" are you dealing with?

MC: I'm not sure how to put it delicately.

Barbatos: Don't worry about sounding prim and proper. Just tell me what's on your mind.

MC: Here goes nothing...

MC: I'd like to get laid.

Barbatos: I see.

Barbatos: And you're worried about doing it with someone from this timeline, aren't you?

MC: I mean...wouldn't that cause a paradox?

Barbatos: Isn't it a bit late for you to start worrying about paradoxes, considering that three of us know your true identity?

MC: You, Diavolo, and/or Thirteen would have figured it out one way or another. We just figured it would be easier to be open about it with you guys than risk ending up dead or in prison.

Barbatos: Fair point.

Barbatos: Anyway, as long as you don't produce something that's not there in your timeline, you should be good to proceed.

MC: Except I don't trust many people here.

Barbatos: Understandable. I feel the same way.

MC: This is probably a pointless question, but have any advice?

Barbatos: I would say take care of it yourself, but that's not going to help much, is it?

MC: I mean, it's taken the edge off, but nothing I use is going to be quite the same as having another living, breathing person with me.

Barbatos: So you're looking for a physical connection.

MC: Kind of?

Barbatos: My next piece of advice would be to arrange a meeting with an escort, but as you've already stated, you're rather wary of most people here, and personally I don't like dealing with them. They ask for WAY too much when they realize that they're servicing the Young Master, and that doesn't just apply to money.

MC: *whistling crow sticker*

Barbatos: Maybe ask one of the brothers?

MC: *no sticker*

MC: We're not NEARLY that close for me to successfully get away with that.

Barbatos: Is there anyone else who lives here that you had some sort of a relationship with in your timeline?

MC: Yes, but they're out of the question.

Barbatos: Not necessarily.

MC: Trust me.

Barbatos: They're members of royalty, aren't they?

MC: *eyes emoji*

Barbatos: Interesting.

MC: Good or bad?

Barbatos: Not bad. Actually mildly impressed.

MC: Thanks?

Barbatos: So...

MC: *questioning sticker*

Barbatos: If you will allow me to be blunt for a moment, how would you like me to fuck you?

MC: *gif of someone spitting out water*

Barbatos: Simply being practical.

Barbatos: I'm not sending you back to Solomon.

Barbatos: The prince is too busy to help with this, sadly.

Barbatos: And I don't trust any of the other royals to not harm you. I want you to be able to return to your timeline in one piece.

Barbatos: Unless you don't trust me?

MC: It's not that.

Barbatos: Then what is it?

MC: In my timeline, I was your first.

Barbatos: Then that's perfect. We'll still keep that part of it accurate. It'd just happen sooner, which isn't a super big deal.

MC: If I didn't know better, I'd think this was your intention all along.

Barbatos: What, to get in bed with you?

MC: *nodding sticker*

Barbatos: I'd be lying if I told you that hasn't crossed my mind once or twice during your stay here so far.

MC: *gif of someone saying 'i knew it'*

Barbatos: What can I say? Like it or not, I'm a creature of desire.

Barbatos: Also...

Barbatos: Your scent has given you away a couple of times, so I figured that I'd had a fair shot if I ever DID want to indulge.

MC: *blushing emoji*

Barbatos: We'll talk more when you return to the castle.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[pinehutch]

When I say that I want to be evil

what I mean is I want to be powerful. What I mean is I want to be free.

Some weeks ago I spent more money than I should have on my first ever (ever!) two-piece swimsuit. You have to understand that as a child I was told I was fat, and as a teen I was told I was fat, and as an adult I've always been fat*, and you can't read your way out of the shame caused not strictly by the word but by its connotations.

(I know, because I've tried. I have been trying for almost twenty years. Looking for plus-sized fashion brought me to the digital 'fatosphere.' It made me a better person as I learned about another dimension of intersectionality and about power and oppression. It made me feel like I could wear clothing that I liked. It made me more informed about the diet and wellness industry. It's been over 20 years since I first read a critique of the BMI; it's been almost as long since I started wondering why gros/se in my close-second language didn't have the same (haha) weight to it as fat does, in my first.)

At the tail end of June, days long and scorching, I stepped into a two-piece swimsuit with a deep-v neckline and my whole midsection exposed and I spent the day in full view of dozens (hundreds?) of strangers. Cold, cold water on the joints; warm, soft pools for the evening. My hair got bigger and bigger. My neck and chest sunburned. My midriff stayed comically, blindingly pale, and everything else? It was lovely; it was fine. I rarely thought about my body, unless it was 'this feels nice' or 'my swimsuit is so pretty.' I took a selfie, even, though I deleted it. I was worried that posting it would count as thirst-trapping; shame has cored out and replaced so much of me. It was a good pic, though, and I wish I'd kept it.

What was true of me that day: I was a quite tall, very fat femme person whose feet swell with arthritis and whose hair takes up the entire frame and who's had cellulite since grade eight. What else was true: many people complimented my swimsuit. I looked out across the valleys and the mountains from the top of my almost-six-feet. I let my shoulders roll back and smiled at the sight of my bare skin gone blue-wavering-dappled beneath the surface. I stood tall. I made eye contact. I enjoyed delightful company, and let that enjoyment extend to the simple pleasure of having a body that felt fairly good, in garments I had chosen for the joy of it.

You can't read your way out of shame; it's only part of the equation. I didn't go swimming the next day with my family members, because I didn't want to feel them looking at my body and being disappointed that What A Beautiful Girl turned out like I did (though: if What A Beautiful Girl then why You Need To Watch What You Eat?). But for an entire day I felt like anyone else, gentle enough, good enough, in my skin.

It would have been good for me to swim with my family that weekend, because I'm finding that - as in all things - the practice is important. You can't read your way out of shame, not entirely, but in working with and through it there's maybe a chance to rewrite our stories.

There's a fallacy that I think a lot of us fall into, when we're trying to counter and challenge fatphobia, both culturally and in ourselves. It's the fallacy of the Good Fat. It's why I want to tell you about how two-pieces are maybe a better swimwear choice for me because of the drastic difference between my tits and hips vs my waist. It's why I wanted to post that selfie, so people could shoutycaps and fire emoji me on twitter. It's why I want to craft this post into a narrative where spending a single day mostly-unburdened by body shame has led to a hot girl summer, and I'm walking for miles every day and going to the pool four times a week. (I'm not. I still have a day job, and writing to do, and a physical disability, and the ol' depression. I'm more active than I was three months ago, and working to improve that, but still. It's not a lot.)

It is, simply, the same lie as we tell ourselves along so many different axes of marginalization: that as long as we are exceptional in a way equal and opposite to our marginalization, we'll be fine. It's the model that says you earn the right to exist fat and unashamed by being healthy, by being active, by being hot. Sorry my hip is squished against yours on the airplane; at least I've got a nice face and good hair and am well-dressed, wanna admire my hip-to-waist ratio about it?

There's no such thing as a Good Fat because we live in an inherently fatphobic world. I mean: airplane seats are too small for anyone average sized. I mean: 20 years ago I was a size 16/18 and couldn't fit into the newer lecture hall seats at my university without a lot of stress and embarrassment. I mean: I can't buy a compression sleeve for my arthritic joints at the drug store. If I ever needed to take Plan B, it might not work because I weigh (as do most adults of my acquaintance) more than 165lbs. You cannot be hot enough or active enough or well-dressed enough to escape from this; the only option is to be Not Fat.

But why on earth would we want to accept this? We know the system is fucked up and evil, and so: we want to be evil. Just a little bit, just enough. We want to be hot villains. We want to serve cunt and to be cunts. We want to nailcare emoji, fire emoji, crown emoji, and we want to take no prisoners unless it's between our thick thick thighs. Sit on their face; if they die, they die. It's fun and sexy, in a world where "everything is sex, except sex, which is power" to dig in and grab handfuls of what looks like empowerment, fuck the rest of it, get what makes you feel best.

It's a mirage; freedom doesn't live there.

Because of course fat people are hot. Fat bodies are desirable. Fat bodies are strong, sometimes, and athletic, sometimes, and powerful in whatever way you'd like to read that. That's true no matter what.

And yet (this will hurt) fat bodies are still (I'm sorry, I'm so sorry) not good enough. If the system is the problem, your individual empowerment is not the (whole) solution.

When I say that I want to be evil, what I mean is I want to be free. I want the strange rare days I've known I was desirable because I was desired, specifically and individually. I want the days where I grant myself dignity. I want the day where I lived peacefully in my mostly-naked body around hundreds of strangers, and went to bed happy.

Reading is input, it's taking in. I can't read my way all the way out of fatphobia, out of body shame because that's like trying to put out a forest fire 2000km away by throwing baking soda on your stove element. (Not harmful, but insufficient and misdirected.) It has been so helpful to know that other people wrestle with all of this, in ways that are more intelligent and expert than mine; it doesn't change material reality, though.

It's not the shame that's the problem, but where it comes from. It's not my internalized fatphobia or low self-worth or lack of body confidence that keeps people from life-saving medical care because their doctors were obsessed with their weight instead of their symptoms. My soft abdomen has never shamed a stranger on the internet, my calves (never in tall boots) haven't forced someone to buy a second seat.

Maybe it's time that I redefine what I mean when I say I want to be evil. I want to be a hot villain that was justified in their takedown of the status quo. I want to put a crown on every head. I want these thick thighs under me as I pull you into my lap and love you, and to use those fire emojis to make room for new growth.

I want us all at the pool together, celebrating as the sun sets.

*I'm using "fat" to here mean something like "size 16 US women's or larger," but there's no good definition

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

I can't get my emojis to work, but Joshua Whitmore and happiness?

That Familiar Smell of Fresh Paint - Joshua Whitmore/Reader

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N.

Wordcount: 2560

Summary: Happiness isn't a familiar feeling to him anymore, but it's the little things is his new life with you that makes him start to remember how it feels.

Notes: I love writing him so much that I'm already looking forward to all the new ideas that came to me as I was working on this QwQ

It was hard at first, but you both expected that after your big, dramatic return from New York. As soon as you'd boarded the plane the two of you knew that things wouldn't be the same now that he'd been found, and sure enough once word got out that you'd not only crashed his big party to steal him back but also returned to Detroit, one Ms. Jorie Chastain was back at your door to properly ask for an interview this time.

Turns out she'd been quite reprimanded by her superiors for her previous ‘interview,’ and you were more than happy to accept her apology money and then have Joshua slam the door in her face as thanks for tearing the painting that was now framed on your wall.

It'd been quite the sum to make up for nearly ruining both your lives, and you put it away to go towards that adorable little property you'd had your eye on since it'd gone on sale. You drove past it the next day with him to test the waters, see if he'd want to start over fresh with you there, just casually mentioning the for sale sign and how you should maybe check it out, get back to animosity since everyone now knew where you lived. He'd been silent, his foot propped on your dashboard and his sketchbook placed against his leg while he drew what he saw, and he'd barely paid the property any attention at all when he caught sight of an overgrown park crawling with nature and freedom.

You try again a couple weeks later when you make the drive to the art store with him to give his legs a rest; he was so used to walking everywhere he'd forgotten completely how to drive, and at first he'd gone on a very long rant about how cars were polluting the environment and how walking was better for the body and mind, although for once he tossed in a little compliment as he commended you for always walking to work even though you did own a vehicle. 

Now, many rides later, he’s relaxed and sitting in the passenger seat while feeling the breeze, completely fine with cars for the moment while you drive, and you point out the for sale sign again as you approach.

‘I see it still hasn't sold, it's a decent property, I wonder what's wrong with it?’ you joke with many glances thrown his way, and this time he did look as he hums to himself.

‘Based on the state of the yard, broken windows on the side of the house, as well as that concerning dent in the roof I'd say it's a wreck inside, owners are probably old and finally selling because they can't afford to keep it in the family anymore, that one won't be housing anyone until the whole thing needs to be gutted,’ he figures before taking his sketchbook back out to work on his park sketch, he only seemed to work on it when you drove together.

‘Oh, how'd you-?’

‘Been in a lot of places like it, I can usually tell from the outside what the inside will be like by now,’ he says without looking up, and for a moment you'd actually forgotten that he'd been on the road the past seven years, not homeless but traveling, of course he'd had to have learned about all the safe and empty places to stay, what would be a risk and what would be a temporary paradise. ‘You're quiet, you wanted that house, didn't you?’

‘What? No, of course not, I've already got a decent duplex, you're not gunna find a better bathroom for that cheap,’ you brush him off nervously, but he doesn’t buy it as he glances at you and keeps drawing. ‘By the way, I've been wanting to ask since I don't see you on my floor, but how's the job going?’

‘Working to survive but not to be happy, it's a hard question to ask, isn't it?’ he begins, and you give him a look until he chuckles. ‘It's fine, been a while since I've been around that many people, and I know the only things they know about me were found on the internet and in that woman's news segment, but I'd prefer it if I was a no one to them again, just so they'd stop staring when I come around.’ He doesn't draw as he speaks this time, his eyes staring out the window as the neighbourhood turned into downtown, the art store in sight.

‘We could always see if you could work from home, I hear that's been a big thing in the city?’ you suggest, but the thought of that makes him visibly recoil.

‘Working at a desk in the comfort of my own home? Taking the precious hours we have in a day to get up, sit in front of those machines and just work until I can't tell what's the job and what's my personal life anymore? That sounds worse than being forced to paint, don't ever say that to me again,’ he grumbles as he hunches up and places his shoes on your dash again. You chuckle softly at the sight, he always knew what he wanted and what he didn't like, and you certainly can't imagine him being able to work on anything other than his paintings while he was home.

‘Sorry, I should've known better,’ you tease, and he just continues grumbling all the way to the parking lot. The art store is more well stocked now that everyone knew he was here, the owner ordering all sorts of professional things since he knew that Joshua would be back in due time, and sure enough he always was to replenish his supplies. It was nice to not be limited to just the children's supplies now, he’s certainly very happy about it as he races for the paints and sees that they were higher quality than last time, and the new brushes he'd suggested have come in as well, the display announcing their newness to the lineup. 

He has his own money again, after the great loss to the show you'd ruined he'd ended up having to pay out of pocket for it all as compensation, but once that was settled and he was finally set free from his contract he was also free to claim the rest of what the bank had been holding for him for almost a decade now that he wasn't legally dead. 

His checking account had been pretty much cleaned, but he'd also had a secret savings account that had been highly suggested by his then girlfriend, since she did care about his future until he'd grown too numb to remember how to love her back anymore. As such, since Mr. Eldred didn't know about it and focused purely on what he had left in his checking, the interest had accumulated into a new mini fortune that he was now slowly blowing through as he spoiled himself with new paints and proper canvases and all the things a starving artist on the streets wouldn't be able to get.

It was funny how fast his views on money had changed when he was able to toss everything onto the counter and pay for it without putting you out.

Now that he has a paycheck again he mostly sticks to using that, the two of you recently having joined your accounts so you could help contribute to his savings. It was a very big step in your relationship, once you discussed many times as you helped him set up an online account so he could see where his paychecks were going without a trip to the bank, but it felt right after your big city rescue. Knowing that he can get whatever he wants, you again wait patiently as he checks out everything and repeatedly goes over his mental inventory of what he still had back home. 

You hang around the register so you won't bother him, he would likely be ignoring you anyway if he wasn't giving you a history lesson about everything he was looking at, so you prefer this option since it gets you home faster. You exchange a friendly nod with the owner, he was very familiar with the both of you now, and get comfy leaning against the counter until he’s done, his voice drifting over the aisles as he openly talks to himself since you weren't there to listen.

‘He sees like a nice guy,’ the owner observes as he also listens, and you smile fondly in his general direction when he sees something he doesn't like and starts talking a bit too loudly about how kids could never flourish with brushes that break that easily and were too cheap to actually hold the paint they were using.

‘He is,’ you reply honestly even as he approaches with an armful of said brushes and sets them down with the intention to have them be removed from the inventory, which of course they wouldn't be. ‘He's a bit insufferable at times, but… he's genuine, and honest, and passionate, and I've never met anyone like him.’ He returns with more as well as the things he actually wants to pay for before disappearing again. ‘I'm sorry about this, I'll put it all back when he goes to the canvases.’

‘It's no problem, it's pretty slow in here when the kids don't have any big art projects going on, gives me something to do,’ the man laughs, and Joshua is very pleased when he finally notices the extra large canvases that were now in stock even though you know it'll be a pain to fit them into the backseat. 

You continue your light conversation with him while Joshua finishes up, and in his excitement the final bill is a bit more than usual, but he’s happy to pay for it all as he hands over his card and punches in the pin. All three of you have to carry everything to your car once the transaction is complete, thankfully he only indulged in one giant canvas this time since he was running out of wall space in his studio, and the rest is tossed into the trunk with great excitement.

‘Thank you for getting these in, and you have my list of more appropriate supplies for the kids’ section, right?’ he asks as you get into the car, Joshua hovering around the door and refusing to let the owner go without his very important suggestions being taken into consideration.

‘I'll see how well the new stuff sells before I order more stock,’ he vows as he backs up towards the door, Joshua ready to walk back in and give him a quick lesson on why he should also really get rid of some other things so he could pay more attention to his rather lacking informational book selection when you lean across the seats, grab him by the back of the hoodie, and pull him in with you. He relents and shuts the door, now preferring to see how this stuff compares to what they provided in his month back in New York since they'd gone for price over preparation, which of course he could tell the difference between. 

You have to pass by the house again to get home, but you can only glance at it longingly this time at the thought of moving him into another rundown place; you don’t want that for him, he deserved someplace open and clean after waking up in empty houses for so long. He sees your look this time and bunches up again to draw, but this time it isn't to work on his park you discover as you pull into your driveway, it’s actually a rough blueprint of how to fix up what he saw on the outside.

‘Need to get in, see how bad it is or if I’m wrong,’ he mutters as he hands the book over after everything is brought in, and your heart pounds a little harder when you read his notes crammed beside the shapes.

‘It’s just a house, we can look together for something better,’ you tell him as you hand it back and head for your laptop, but he just shakes his head and rests his arms over your shoulders, his chin on the top of your head while you sit at the table.

‘Told you I’m good with my hands, did a lot of construction work, if we buy it fast then we could get it cleaned up before it gets worse,’ he says softly, and you realize that he was doing this because it was something you wanted for once, his final hurdle in him getting used to not only living with but also loving someone again.

‘I don’t want you to have to stay in another busted up old house,’ you reply without looking up, your hands still on the keyboard and touchpad as you hover over the real estate site you’d bookmarked weeks ago. ‘This place is fine, we don’t need anything bigger or better, it’s… you deserve better than more broken ceilings and cracked paint.’

He kisses your head then, he was still getting used to giving you affection when he felt like sharing it even though you’d already slept together and had been together for months, but just knowing that he was the one to kiss you this time is enough to make your heart soar. ‘You know I don’t mind the smell of fresh paint, that’s my entire life,’ he reminds you quietly, his lips moving against your hair and his chin digging into your scalp as he speaks, and you free yourself to turn in your chair and stare up at him.

‘So you really wanna do this? You wanna buy a house with me? I’ll have to start driving to work again,’ you gape up at him, and he doesn’t seem too happy about you driving so much, but his expression is still very soft as he leans down even more to rest his chin on your shoulder along with his arm.

‘It’s closer to the art store, we can start walking there together,’ is his reasoning, and you press your own kiss to his cheek before going to the house’s page and checking out the uploaded images together. It’s better than he expected, the damage is mostly on the outside, but he was right about the older owners wanting to sell their family home since they now had a slightly smaller place closer to their grandchildren and couldn’t afford to keep both. He points out the easy fixes, stuff he’d learned how to do years ago, and the second bedroom is the perfect size for an even bigger studio; both bedrooms lead out into the backyard, a proper backyard this time where there’s room for a garden, and a birdbath is already in place and sporting a bluebird in the photo on the screen.

You take it as a sign, you both do, and he decides to save his giant canvas for later as you call up the realtor and set up an appointment to tour the property, Joshua just watching you talk with a content smile on his face all the while.

[inkblot22]

All This Over A Notebook

I don't have any idea what's gotten into me. I seem to have lost my marbles. This will have a part two. I'd also like to mention that as I was adding the warnings, the little Grammarly emoji went from nervous to horrified.

Tw for captivity, implied bullying, referenced violence, item insecurity (like one of the reader's things isn't with them), fear, poverty, Floyd and Jade Leech being themselves. This is mostly for part two, but all characters have been aged up to 18+

Floyd wasn’t so bad to have around. 

That’s what you’d say if you were a liar. You aren’t. In the few months that you’ve known him, Floyd has been nothing but a menace.

It started out simple, of course, nothing too physical, just some verbal jabs, and then he got more and more physical to the point that your skin crawled when you barely thought of him. You’d pass by him in the hallway and he’d be in one of his moods. Not a good or bad mood, just a mood. The type where he wanted to pick on someone, that someone being whichever was unluckier between you and Riddle.

Let’s be real. It was you. It was usually you. Riddle knew Floyd, he knew what his schedule was like, and even though he was a stickler for the rules, he knew how to get in, finish his shit, and leave. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t try your best to avoid Floyd. It was just that you weren’t as perfect as Riddle, especially not when it came to keeping away from the eel menace.

You had a good streak going, though. You hadn’t seen him in several days, but there was a massive downside. You’d been paired with Jade for alchemy earlier, which was just your luck, and he had somehow managed to take your notes, despite you vividly recalling that you placed them back in your crappy little backpack. After changing out of your uniform, you sent him a message asking him to drop off your notebook. He left you on read for fifteen long minutes before finally responding with a message that read like a death sentence.

“you’re free to swing by and pick them up prefect”

As much as you wanted to just wait until the weekend where for sure Floyd would be off finding someone else to torment, you couldn’t. That was your only notebook. Grim didn’t take very good notes but was really territorial with his junk so you couldn’t exactly ask to borrow his, not even so you could write down notes for tomorrow. 

You didn’t want to wait for any longer than you needed to, either. That meant you were going right now. Grim’s big, glassy eyes watched you as you scampered to and fro, snatching up your backpack and what little amount of money hadn’t been used to purchase food for Grim and yourself just in case Jade was holding your notebook ransom. 

“Where are you going?” Grim asked.

“Jade has my notebook.” You responded, flatly.

Surprisingly, for once, Grim kind of just accepted that as what it was and went back to his homework.

Instead of asking if he could come along, he asked, “Are you gonna come back with food?”

“Uh, from the Lounge? Probably not. I don’t want to be there any longer than I need to. Maybe if the cafeteria is open or if Jamil is wandering around I can ask?”

Grim grumbled, something about him starving, and you smiled, thinking about how the two of you were basically living off of pennies. This was Twisted Wonderland’s hospitality, you guessed. 

“Okay, bye, Grim. I should only be a few minutes. Okay?”

He was still grumbling when you left, but you couldn’t hold it against him. You really hoped you’d bump into Jamil or Trey on the way back. Someone who understood your predicament and also had an excess of food, but first you had to go get your notebook.

The hall of mirrors was, as always, eerily silent. As you took a step forward into the soft beach sand that was somehow always littered around the entrance to Octavinelle, no matter how often it was swept, you swallowed and prayed to a god you didn’t think existed in this world, begging them to make sure that Floyd was somewhere else.

Then you stepped into the mirror.

As always, the lounge was busy. You’d sent Jade another message, asking him where your notebook was because you were here, and he replied instantly this time.

“it’s in my room on the desk” followed quickly by a “would you mind stopping in the lounge so i could unlock the room for you”

The last place you wanted to go was the Lounge. If Floyd wasn’t in there, Azul definitely would be, and you really didn’t have time for his bullshit today. All he did was hassle you to come work for him, and all you wanted to do was study, just go home and study, hopefully getting some food on the way back. In the larger scope of things, you suppose you’d also want to get back to your world but that was out of your hands entirely, so studying would have to keep your attention otherwise you’d die from the stress of it all.

Jade was in the middle of serving someone when you walked in. Surprisingly, Floyd and Azul were nowhere to be seen. You were impatient, but not an asshole, so you waited until he went back to the kitchen to follow him and grab his sleeve.

“Ah, how very nice to see you, prefect.” He smiled, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You have my notebook. Remember?”

“Oh, that’s right.” He handed the plate he had picked up to someone else, telling them which table it went to before turning back to you, “Well, let’s go.”

Jade didn’t say anything after that. You walked with him in silence up to his room. You’d never been in there before, since you mostly kept to your and Grim’s little bubble. Beyond that, everyone knew to keep their distance from the Leeches. They played off each other like a game of tennis from hell. Jade unlocked the door and held it open for you. You heard the sounds of a shower from the bathroom. You’d have to be quick.

You slipped inside with a quiet breath of thanks and made a beeline for the desk with the terrarium sitting on it, as well as your crusty old notebook, open on the same page you’d left it on, complete with doodles of Professor Crewel as a sea bunny in the margins. You slipped your backpack from your shoulders, closed the notebook, placed it inside, and turned back around.

Jade was smiling at you from the door.

“Thanks, Jade. I could have sworn I put it in my bag,” You said, walking towards the door. 

“Oh, you did.” Jade said, “I just took it back out.”

Before you could react, before you could get angry, ask why, anything, Jade slammed the door closed and you heard the telltale click of the lock. 

You dropped your backpack and ran towards the door, trying the knob before giving up and battering your fists against it.

“Jade, what the hell?! This isn’t funny!” You hollered.

You heard the shower turn off and your slamming became more frantic, now trying to break down the door. Why did all the doors have to be inswing? Why did this door specifically lock from the outside? You went back to the desk and searched for something to break the doorknob, and the bathroom door handle jiggled. 

You felt like a deer in the headlights, only able to look at the doorknob as it slowly twisted. All you could hear was the sound of your breath and heartbeat, roaring like an ocean in your ears. Your brain was screaming at you, begging you to hide or anything, but your limbs felt like lead, solid ice, something heavy and immovable.

As you expected, Floyd stepped out of the bathroom, looking about as disheveled as usual. He didn’t see you for a second, heterochromic eyes looking at the closed door before his head swung around to look at you. He grinned, and you felt your heart skip a beat, then kickstart back into a thundering pace as he walked towards you.

You stepped away and he didn’t follow, instead picking up his phone from his desk and flopping over onto his bed.

“Hey, Shrimpy.” He greeted, casually. 

You could barely breathe, much less respond. You had to get out of here.

“Jade’s not gonna come back until we’re done. Why don’t you relax for a bit?”

You could not. If there was anything more impossible, it’d be going back to your own world at this minute. Floyd sat up and put his phone down, staring at you before he finally approached, long, lazy strides.

His hand gripped your shoulder, he leaned down and you flinched back.

“C’mon, Shrimpy. I promise I don’t bite… too hard.” He punctuated that sentence with a laugh.

Part Two Here!

[amethystina]

Hello !!! I hope u r well and recovering 💘

Fir the ask game: 🤡❌️👀

Unfortunately, things are still pretty rough but I'm hanging in there :)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

I'm not sure if there is such a line, to be honest. Mainly because most of the things I write aren't all that funny, but also because it takes a lot for me to laugh when it's my own writing. Because I already know the punchline before the joke's even started, so it's just not that exciting. If that makes sense?

That said, Yoon Sa Wol from Black Knight is an absolute hoot to write and there is one exchange in particular that definitely makes me want to cackle whenever I think about it. It's when he's talking to 4-1 (a coworker of his) and they accidentally stumble onto the subject of whether or not Sa Wol could have sex with 5-8 (the dude he is definitely interested in having sex with) and the following happens:

All things considered, it didn't seem like a bad idea at all. 4-1 didn't seem to agree. She gave him a flat look, as if the answer should be obvious. "He'd eat you for breakfast." Sa Wol paused for a beat but, really, the only thing he could think to say was: "I mean, wouldn't that be the whole point?" 4-1 let out a choked noise that sounded outright painful.

SA WOL, NO.

But also, kudos on being so goddamn shameless.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

I'm not sure if there is one? Because, sure, I'm not personally into mpreg or A/B/O but I can't say I'll never write them. Like, if someone gave me enough money to write those tropes, I probably would. We get money where we can in this economy xD

I think the closest I come to a complete "I refuse to write this" are the things I find triggering or just don't agree with on a moral level. So I'd have a hard time glorifying abuse, for example, or write something that involves incest or non-con between a romantic couple. The kind where transgressions are eventually forgiven or brushed aside because "they actually love them and it was just a mistake" and that kind of stuff.

There's a reason why I'm so determined to call out Yo Han's bullshit in my Devil Judge fics, for example, and why Moon Jo is such a lovesick simp in my Strangers From Hell fic. I find them to be incredibly fascinating as characters, but I admit I would never be able to write them doing something along those lines. They both skirt the line from time to time — which is sort of the point in some ways — but I try to criticise the behaviour rather than excuse or glorify it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I kind of mentioned all of them when I did the WIP Tag Game not too long ago, so you can see what they are and read about them if you look at this tag right here!

But aside from that, I can say that I'm currently trying to edit and post chapter six of A New Dawn (Begins With Us), and, after that, I'm going to try and edit chapter 3 of The Right Set of Circumstances, and, after that, I... well, I don't know x'D I'll either try to edit Thou Shalt Not Covet or maybe I'll allow myself to write chapter 42 of Who Holds the Devil.

I'm kind of holding that chapter hostage right now since I HATE editing and would much rather write — it's just so much more fun. But if I only wrote and didn't edit, I would never post anything, so I kind of have to force myself to edit from time to time, too.

And it's extra annoying right now since I'm so feverish and that just makes editing ten times worse for some reason?

So yeah. I have a lot going on right now in terms of WIPs and it's kind of beginning to feel like a second job, not going to lie x'D

Thank you so much for the ask! :D

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

[lizbethborden]

3 deans from Columbia resigned over texts they sent during a panel on antisemitism on campus, including vomit emojis, suggestions that a rabbi speaking was "taking full advantage of this moment. Huge fundraising potential," and suggesting that comments on how Israeli and Jewish students felt uncomfortable in their dorms were "Laying the case to expand physical space! They will have their own dorm soon," with a response of "Comes from such a place of privilege... hard to hear the woe is me." An additional remark was "if only every identity community had these resources and support... Share resources!!"

I don't necessarily believe they should have had to resign. I don't think they were particularly smart about this convo either. That being said, there's more than a whiff of antisemitism, pulling on some old strings related to the exclusivity and apparent hostility to outsiders of Jewish communities, not to mention the whole money-grubbing rich Jew thing (the rabbi just wants money, this identity group is privileged and already has all the resources bc Jews are rich, etc). The idea that rich, privileged Jews are just whiners who can't tolerate a reasonable level of discomfort is... pretty prevalent in virtually all leftist environments right now. The number of people I've seen, even mutuals, saying that Jewish people on here are making things all about themselves, that we only care about what happens to US, that we're all speaking from privilege, etc...

This isn't me saying that reasonable humanitarian criticism of a Jewish person can't happen or that it is always antisemitic. There are certainly many Jewish people deserving of criticism especially w/r/t their response to the genocide being carried out in Gaza. But I am going to say that quite a lot of you probably haven't even met a Jewish person IRL (note: no, we don't have horns) and maybe need to start self-examining a bit regarding how you go about your criticisms and arguments. Of course, I don't expect anyone to actually self-examine because nobody cares about Jewish people and nobody is interested in examining a load-bearing structural element of their cultural self-image.

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades - Chapter Two

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

———-

previous chapter

———-

Note: Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged or commented on the last chapter! I'm so excited to hear what everyone thinks about this story and every comment really means so much so please let me know what you think!

———-

There was something about pulling up outside her mediocre-at-best flat in Jamie’s fancy car that had the situation really hitting home for Lia. 

The contrast between her humble abode and his incredibly expensive vehicle had her realizing that she was entering a world that she had no business being in and that she didn’t really know what she was getting herself into. Jamie had so easily trusted her with a car that was so far out of her price range that it was hard to even imagine and maybe he made enough money that he didn’t care if she simply stole it and never spoke to him again or maybe it was worth the risk for what he potentially stood to gain, but she had agreed to move in with him - basically a complete stranger - with hardly more than a second thought and for very little potential reward. Her behaviour in the last twenty-four hours really was starting to feel like a perfect showcase for why alcohol was harmful to the human brain because clearly she’d lost all common sense.

But she was committed to it now. 

She’d promised Jamie that she would give it a try and she wasn’t going to back out before it even started - letting people down was just not something she was programmed to do - so, with a sigh, she pulled her phone out of her bag on the passenger seat beside her as she tried to work up the courage to go inside and face the storm that she knew was waiting for her. The twenty-eight unread text messages and fourteen missed calls from Katie were enough to make her want to drive away forever and start a new life somewhere else, but she knew that her friend would be worried - especially because she couldn’t remember saying goodbye to her before leaving the club with Jamie. She typed out and deleted several replies to the string of long and increasingly frantic messages, but in the end she decided that going inside and explaining things in person would be the right thing to do.

But she regretted that decision as soon as she walked through the door.

“What the fuck, Lia?!” Katie practically shrieked before she even had the chance to close the door behind her. “I’ve been worried sick about you!”

“I was fine,” Lia weakly argued, knowing how she would feel if the tables were turned. “I did message you to let you know that.”

She’d seen the message when she’d scrolled back through their conversation and she knew the garbled drunken text did very little to strengthen her argument and the roll of Katie’s eyes showed her agreement with that thought.

“That message was hardly reassuring, it made no sense!”

“Well, you didn’t seem very worried at the time.”

It was a fair counterpoint considering Katie had simply replied with something along the lines of ‘hope you’re having fun’ and a winking emoji, but the reminder did little to ease her flatmate’s frustration.

“Because I thought you left with Daniel!”

Even just the sound of his name had Lia’s mood quickly shifting. She’d felt guilty for vanishing and for ignoring Katie’s messages that morning while she sorted things out with Jamie - she completely understood why that would be worrisome for her friend and she knew she wouldn’t have appreciated the silence had she been in Katie’s position - but hearing those words leave Katie’s mouth had her suddenly no longer feeling very apologetic.

“Why would you think that?”

She didn’t even bother keeping the disgust out of her voice and Katie shrugged in response.

“Because we went to dance and when we came back you were both gone.”

“Well, I don’t know where he went,” Lia admitted. “But he stormed off shortly after you two went to the dancefloor - right after Jamie stopped him from attacking me.”

The look on Katie’s face could only be described as skeptical and Mike - who had been watching them quietly from the couch, staying out of it as he usually did when they started bickering about anything - drew their attention as he let out a groan of protest.

“We’re all tired, Lia,” he sighed. “Let’s not start with all that right now.”

There was something about his scolding, disappointed tone that had Lia wanting to do as he said and let it all go. He’d become like a brother to her over the years that he dated Katie and she didn’t want to hurt him or create any problems for him, but she was tired. She was tired of being forced to be around Daniel - a man who had never shown her even an ounce of respect - and being treated like a whiny baby whenever she tried to tell them how upsetting his behaviour was for her.

“I’m not trying to start anything, but it’s true,” she told them, keeping her voice soft in an attempt to prevent the usual argument. “He forced me to sit in his lap as soon as you two left the table and then when I managed to get away and headed to the bar, he followed me and tried to grab me even when I was very clear that I wanted him to stop.”

Katie had the decency to look surprised by what she shared, but Mike was clearly not bothered as he rolled his eyes.

“He just fancies you. He doesn’t know how to flirt, that’s all it is.”

A scoff fell from Lia’s lips as she couldn’t believe how easily he dismissed her concerns and her disbelief only deepened when she saw Katie relax as she accepted the way that Mike explained away his friend’s indiscretions. Maybe it was the fact that Daniel’s persistence the night before had truly frightened her or maybe it was because her hangover and her unbelievable morning had her already feeling emotionally maxed out, but she found herself quickly losing her patience and her ability to bite her tongue just to keep the peace.

“That’s not all it is,” she insisted. “He’s a predator! And I don’t want to think about what would have happened if Jamie hadn’t shown up when he did.”

“A predator?” Mike questioned, the word laced with incredulity. “He’s my best mate!” 

“I know that, but you still need to hold him accountable and I’m fed up of you making excuses for him,” she informed him, crossing her arms as she turned to face Katie. “And I’m supposed to be your best friend so it hurts that you always take Daniel’s side over mine.”

In an instant, any hint of sheepishness disappeared from Katie’s face as Lia’s accusation had her recoiling as if she’d been slapped.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you!” Her words were said with a laugh, but it was obvious that Katie didn’t find the situation at all amusing. “You wanna talk about betrayals? Why don’t we talk about how you got married without even telling me that you were seeing anyone!”

It felt like a cheap way to deflect from Lia’s very valid complaints, but she was surprised it hadn’t come up already and a sigh fell from her lips as she explained.

“I’m not married. That whole wedding last night was just for a laugh, it’s not a legal thing,” she assured her, but she braced herself for Katie’s reaction as she added, “But Jamie and I have been dating for a couple of months so we’re going to let people think that we’re married to see if it helps turn his reputation around a little bit.”

She’d hoped that by the time she had to explain their plan, she would have thought of a way to make it sound a little less insane, but from the dropped jaws and blank stares her news received it was obvious that it still seemed just as crazy as it had when Jamie had first suggested it. She gave them a moment to process her words, but just as she was about to offer some more reassurance, Katie found the strength to speak.

“Are you still drunk?” She blurted out. “You must still be drunk or I’m going to start worrying that you’ve lost the plot.”

“No, I’m completely sober.”

“Okay, then you’ve lost your mind,” Katie decided. “Because the Lia that I know would never agree to pretend to be married to a footballer that she doesn’t even know.”

“I do know him,” Lia insisted, feeling a pang of guilt for pushing the lie she was trying to sell to her best friend. “I told you, we’ve been dating for the last few months.”

“Oh, really?” Katie huffed, her hands settling on her hips as her scepticism was written all over her face. “Then why have I never heard about it? Or met him?”

“He asked me to be discreet,” Lia shrugged, the lie making her throat tighten as she tried to be convincing. “Until we were more serious. So I told you that I was working late if I was going to see him and he only stayed over if I knew you would be at Mike’s.”

“Where did you meet?”

“At the bookstore when I was working,” she informed her, thinking back to the story that they’d come up with in Rebecca’s office. “He came in looking for a book for his mum and I helped him find it.”

“I’m not surprised he needed help,” Mike sniggered from the couch. “I doubt Jamie Tartt could read any of the titles without someone there to help him sound out the words.”

It was similar to the joke that Roy had made and she remembered how much it had annoyed Jamie. As Katie laughed along with Mike, Lia suddenly felt a flash of protectiveness over her new ‘boyfriend’ and their ‘holier than thou’ attitude was really beginning to get under her skin.

“You don’t even know him,” she snapped. “But we’re moving in together so maybe you can come over sometime and actually meet him before you judge him so harshly.”

There was another stunned silence, but the next words out of Katie’s mouth only added to Lia’s frustration.

“Is he paying you?”

“No! You know I’m not like that! I care about him, Katie. We’d been talking about it anyway so with all this marriage stuff happening it just makes sense.”

“None of this makes any sense,” Katie huffed. “He’s a manwhore and from what I’ve seen he’s pretty proud of it so you must be really naive if you’re willing to go along with this insane scheme to trick the general public into thinking that Jamie Tartt isn’t a huge slut when he absolutely is.”

“He’s changed and he deserves a second chance.” Considering the brief amount of time she’d spent in his presence, Lia wasn’t entirely sure she believed that statement herself, but her irritation towards them had her giving a truly Oscar worthy performance as she defended her actions. “And I think it’s pretty disgusting that you’re more against me being with someone whose only supposed issue is that he used to be promiscuous than with a dangerous pervert like Daniel!”

“Oi!” Mike barked from the couch. “Stop slagging off my best mate!”

“Everything I’ve said about him is true and you both know it.” Lia’s gaze fell on Katie as she waited for her to speak up - to agree and finally take her side in the seemingly never ending debate - but Katie appeared to suddenly be very interested in a spec of dirt on the carpet and was no longer able to meet her eye. Tears pricked the corners of Lia’s eyes as she gave Katie a moment longer to do the right thing, but when she was met with a lingering silence, she scoffed as she shook her head. “Whatever. I’m going to go pack some things, but I’ll come back to get everything another day and I’ll pay rent for the next two months so you have time to find someone else or figure something out.”

Going into the conversation, Lia had planned to offer to pay her share of the rent indefinitely. With the uncertainty of her arrangement with Jamie, she didn’t want to set herself up to have nowhere to live in a couple of months if it all fell apart, but after what had been said and the continued lack of support in regards to Daniel’s unwanted advances, she was rethinking that decision. She felt hurt, she felt disrespected and she felt like staying in their flat or leaving the door open to return would just be accepting the way they minimized her feelings and would let them think that she was okay with everything that had happened.

She hesitated - leaving space for Katie to stop her, to finally take her side when it really and truly mattered - but when the only response was a huff of annoyance and a roll of her eyes, Lia hung her head and accepted the situation as she marched to her room to start packing her things.

The flat suddenly felt suffocating. 

The place that she’d called home for over a year now felt cold and unwelcoming and she was so desperate to get away that she was almost tempted to leave without taking anything, but she knew some time away from her so-called best friend would be the best choice and the only way to do that was to focus and take enough things to last her a couple weeks at least. 

She started working quickly - in an uncharacteristically unmethodical and sloppy way - and it didn’t take her long to have two suitcases and a few tote bags ready to go. Not eager for another argument to start, she was anxious to even leave her room and was almost relieved by the cold shoulder she received from Katie as she took the first couple of loads out to the car. However, she wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye so as she leaned her final suitcase against the door, she paused.

“Alright, well that’s it for now,” she informed the couple who were sitting on the couch. “I’ll let you know when I come back for everything else.”

“Okay,” Katie nodded and the wounded look on her face almost made Lia feel guilty for rushing off after their argument, but the words that followed had her guard immediately going back up. “I just have to ask, who told you this whole pretend marriage thing was a good idea?”

“Well, it was Jamie’s idea,” she admitted. “But I agreed and so did AFC Richmond’s head of marketing.”

“Is that Keeley Jones?” 

Despite the surprise she felt at Katie’s sudden knowledge of the staffing team of a random football club, it seemed like an innocent enough question and Lia nodded her head. 

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Katie laughed, a smirk sliding onto her face that had Lia’s stomach tightening in knots. “Did you know that she’s his ex-girlfriend? She’s probably just pawning him off on you to get him out of her own hair.”

While that little tidbit of information had Lia feeling very confused and surprised that no one had thought to mention it at their meeting, what bothered her the most was how smug Katie was as she told her. She wasn’t sharing the news with the intention of gently coaxing Lia away from a situation that she thought was bad, she was sharing it to prove a point in some kind of big ‘gotcha’ moment. So, Lia kept her face steady as she shrugged.

“I know, we’ve met before,” she lied. “But she isn’t pawning him off on me, I care about him and I want to be with him.”

Her insistence was met with nothing more than another sarcastic laugh from her friend and Lia turned away, walking out the door without even wasting her breath to say goodbye.

------

Should I be concerned?

The text came through from her father that evening as Lia sat at the table in the dining area of Jamie’s kitchen - her kitchen - with a mug of tea in front of her. She felt a flash of anxiety as a link to the article came through immediately after to let her know what he was referring to and she quickly typed out a reply.

No, everything’s fine. I’m not married but if anyone asks, just tell them I am. I’ll explain tomorrow.

Almost immediately he sent back a thumbs up and a heart and after her disastrous experience with Katie that afternoon, she was relieved that he was choosing to take a more understanding approach. She wasn’t entirely sure that he’d be happy about the situation once he found out all the details, but she knew that he would support her no matter what and she was still reeling from the disappointment of finding out that her best friend didn’t feel the same.

She let out a sigh as she put her phone back down on the counter and looked around the room. She hadn’t been entirely surprised to find Jamie’s cupboards and fridge rather lacking when it came to food. There were plenty of protein powders and energy drinks, but the kitchen was pretty devoid of anything with any real nutrition. The house was tidy though - more so than she’d expected from a young, hotshot bachelor - and it was far more luxurious than the tiny two bedroom flat that she’d been living in before.

Again, she found herself reflecting on the fact that pretending to be married to Jamie Tartt wasn’t the worst situation in the world, but when she heard the door handle click as it turned and the creak of the front door opening she couldn’t deny the nerves that hit her.

Strolling into the kitchen a moment later, Jamie flashed her a smile as he tossed his coat onto the back of one of the chairs across from her.

“Hiya, you alright?”

“Yeah, you?”

She tried to match his welcoming smile, but it felt strained and from the skeptical look that slid onto Jamie’s face, he’d noticed it too.

“Yeah,” he nodded, reaching down to his coat pocket. “I actually got something for ya.”

“You did?” The surprise was clear in her voice, but she couldn’t deny that after the combative afternoon she’d had the gesture had her feeling very touched. However, when he slid a small velvet box across the table and she opened it to reveal a much larger and fancier ring than the one currently resting on her finger, the surprise shifted into shock and awe. “Jamie…this is too much. I can’t accept it.”

“Course you can,” Jamie insisted. “Can’t have you walkin’ around with a ring like that. It looks like I bought it at Poundland.”

Despite her reluctance to accept the expensive gift sitting in front of her, his observation was very accurate and Lia couldn’t hold back the giggle that slipped from her lips.

“You probably did buy it at Poundland,” she mused, admiring the cheap ring on her finger. “Where else would we have found rings in the middle of the night? Especially ones this tacky.”

“Exactly, that’s why you need one that’s a bit more flashy,” Jamie insisted. “And then when this is all over you can sell it or whatever, get something for your trouble.”

“Oh, I see, this is your sneaky way of still trying to pay me for all this.”

“No!” An indignant scowl slid onto Jamie’s face, but his furrowed brow relaxed as Lia’s attempt at keeping a straight face broke into a smile. “You can keep it forever for all I care. Save it as a memory of me to get you through those long, lonely nights.”

“I’m sure it’ll provide a lot of comfort.”

The sarcasm in her voice had Jamie chuckling softly as he wandered into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water as Lia carefully took her new rings out of their box. She had to credit him for his good taste. Even though it was flashier than the costume jewellery they’d found the night before, it was simple and classy and she had to admit that it was almost exactly the kind of ring that she would like to be given in a real proposal. However, she was well aware that it was probably worth more than she earned in at least six months and the weight of how indulgent it felt to wear such a beautiful piece of jewellery weighed heavily on her finger as she slid it into place.

“Looks nice,” Jamie commented as he joined her again at the table. “So, why’d you look so miserable when I walked in here? Hope it wasn’t because you were thinking about being stuck with me.”

The sudden change in topic caught her off guard, but she was quickly learning that Jamie didn’t seem like the type to beat around the bush. He was direct, but she couldn’t quite figure out if he just didn’t want to waste time by sugarcoating things or if he just didn’t care enough to.

“No, I wasn’t,” she assured him. “I was just thinking about how I’m in the market for a new best friend.”

“Oh,” Jamie frowned. “Is she not a fan of me?”

“Apparently not,” she admitted. “And I think she thinks that’s why I’m upset, but for me it’s more to do with the man you saved me from last night.”

A flash of something dark crossed over Jamie’s face - something that felt almost protective - and Lia felt a little flicker of comfort despite the loneliness she’d been feeling before he came home.

“Yeah? What’s the story with that prick?”

“His name is Daniel and he’s my best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend,” she explained, pausing as she watched him try to mentally follow the trail of people connecting her to the man in question. “He’s always made me uncomfortable. Even though I’ve told him a million times that I’m not interested in him, he keeps pestering me and trying to convince me.to give him a chance. He touches me all the time in ways that I don’t think are appropriate, but everyone just laughs it off when I complain about it. They make excuses for him all the time and I’ve had enough of it. I think that’s why he got so aggressive last night because I finally lost my patience with him and really put my foot down.”

“You should’ve used your foot to kick him in the fucking balls,” Jamie suggested. “Men like that are fucking disgusting.”

“I’m glad you agree. I told them about what happened when I went to get my stuff this morning and they just kept dismissing it and acting like I was overreacting, I was starting to feel like I was the crazy one,” Lia admitted, feeling a genuine wave of relief that Jamie hadn’t taken their side. From how quickly he’d come to her rescue the night before, she was fairly certain that he’d realized the severity of the situation, but she’d heard enough stories about professional athletes to doubt Jamie’s true intention when he’d helped her out. Which led her to her next point. “And then Katie started acting like you potentially being a bit promiscuous was just as bad - if not worse - than how Daniel had behaved and it just really upset me.”

The dark look quickly slid back onto Jamie’s face and Lia wondered if perhaps she should have kept that information to herself. 

“Are you serious? That’s a fucking joke,” he protested. “I mean, I’ve been lucky over the years, you know, sexually and yeah, maybe I could’ve been more respectful sometimes after the fact, but my mum raised me right and I would never harass a girl who tells me no or says she’s not interested.” 

There was a pleading edge to his voice that cut through his understandable indignation as if he wanted her to know that what he was saying was true and there was something sincere about his annoyance that had her nodding her head.

“I believe you,” she assured him. “I know we barely know anything about each other and I don’t know much about why your reputation is in such dire need of repair, but I’m very grateful for how you stepped in last night and I think you seem like a pretty decent guy.”

“I’m trying to be,” he insisted before adding a little more information, “But I’ve been known to be a little bit of cocky, selfish twat.”

His blunt admission had a laugh falling from Lia’s lips as she covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from spitting tea all over the table.

“Well, it’s big of you to admit that now.”

“It’s true, I can’t deny it,” Jamie shrugged. “It’s…complicated. I just always felt that I had to be the best and then I was the best and I knew it. And I was so worried that people might think I’m weak that I acted so tough that no one could ever doubt me. But I can see now that it isn’t worth it, that it’s better to be a team player. I’m just trying to figure out how.”

“I think the fact that you can see your own faults and actually want to improve is a pretty great start,” Lia mused. “We all have flaws and being cocky and selfish aren’t impossible things to fix.”

“I hope so, but it’s left me with a few bridges to build.”

“And I’m sure you can do it.”

Lia flashed him what she hoped was a supportive smile and was relieved when he matched it with one of his own.

“So, what did the rest of your friends and family think about us being married?” He asked. “I hope I haven’t turned everyone against you.”

“No, I don’t think you have,” Lia assured him. “But the only person who’s reached out is my dad and he’s not worried.”

“No?”

“He trusts me,” she explained before laughing to herself at how ridiculous that claim might seem based on what Jamie knew of her. “Contrary to what last night might make you think, I don’t usually do wild stuff like get wasted and marry strangers. I don’t even drink very often and I almost never drink enough to not remember the whole night so he probably knows that I have a decent explanation for whatever happened.”

“Do you?”

There was a hint of a smirk on his face as he questioned her that had her giggling again as she shrugged.

“No, I guess not, but I work at the bookstore with him so I have until tomorrow to come up with something reasonable.”

“Good luck to you,” Jamie teased. “And let me know if you do.”

“I will,” Lia smiled. “But what about you? How did your teammates take it? Have you told your family?”

“The team didn’t care, but I don’t know if most of them really care about me at all right now. And I don’t talk to my dad much, but I told my mom.” Just the mention of his mother had a soft smile sliding onto his face and Lia felt a flicker of endearment at his obvious love for her. “She told me me that you look smart.”

That claim had Lia barking out a laugh as she stared at him in disbelief.

“She saw a picture of me drunkenly marrying her son and thought that made me seem intelligent?”

“She’s a good judge of character.” Jamie told her, the pride shining through in his voice. “And she wants to meet you actually.”

“In Manchester?” Lia’s eyes lit up as she felt a flicker of excitement that only grew when Jamie shrugged and nodded his head. “That would be nice. I love Manchester, I spent a lot of time up there when I was younger.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lia nodded, smiling at how hopeful he sounded. “My aunt’s a teacher so I used to spend most summers with her so I didn’t have to go to work every day with my dad over the school break and her husband is proper Mancunian so they’ve lived there for as long as I can remember.”

“Proper Mancunian?” Jamie asked, suddenly looking a little sheepish. “Is he City or United?”

There wasn’t very much that Lia knew about football, but she was informed enough to know that those were the names of the two big teams in Manchester. However, she wasn’t informed enough to know exactly how to answer.

“Um, is one of them blue?” She asked, waiting for him to confirm before she continued with more confidence. “Then that’s the one he likes, the one that wears light blue.”

“Ah, probably won’t like me much either then.”

“Oh,” Lia frowned. “Why not?”

“I used to play for them, for Manchester City” he explained. “I left when I went on that show and definitely burned a few bridges. Almost wrecked my whole career actually, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if Richmond hadn’t taken me back.”

There was a sadness in his voice as he made that confession that really tugged on Lia’s heart. She believed that he was capable of being a ‘cocky twat’ as he’d so delicately put it - his own admissions and Katie’s harsh judgements supported that fact and she’d seen glimmers of it throughout their conversations - but even in their brief time together, it was obvious that there was more to him than most people thought. He had a softer side - a sweeter, funny side - and Lia felt a renewed sense that she was doing the right thing. He was clearly troubled by something and if he needed to get the public off his back and turn their opinion around to give him the confidence to work through his issues and become a better person than she was happy to help him out.

“Your team can’t care about you as little as you think then,” she pointed out. “They must think you deserve a second chance.”

“Or they just want to win and know I can help ‘em out.”

“Well, whatever the reason they let you back in, I’m sure you can win them over and prove to them that you’re trying to change,” she assured him. “And once my uncle thinks we’re together, he won’t say a bad word about you. He loves me too much to disrespect my boyfriend - or husband - so maybe he’ll put in a good word for you with the rest of the City fans too.”

Jamie didn’t look convinced, but he appreciated her support enough to accept her words of comfort without any arguments and a silence fell between them as Lia finished her now cold tea before a yawn slipped from her lips. She glanced at her phone and saw that it wasn’t quite nine o’clock, but the wild night before and lingering hangover had her already itching for bed.

“So,” she started, catching Jamie’s attention again. “Can you show me where the guest room is?”

She watched as his face went from confused to understanding until it settled on something a little sheepish.

“I can, yeah,” he nodded. “But there’s not much in there. Just some spare gym equipment.”

“That’s okay. As long as there’s a bed, that’s all I need.”

“There’s just some spare gym stuff,” Jamie repeated. “That’s all there is, there’s no bed.”

Flooded with a flash of panic, Lia stared at Jamie for a moment as she tried to puzzle out if he was joking.

“You can’t be serious,” she groaned as the look on his face made it clear that he was. “Where does your mum sleep when she visits you?”

“She hasn’t been since I moved here,” he shrugged. “Figured I’d buy one if anyone ever did visit, but I haven’t got around to it yet and it hasn’t been an issue.”

Her initial anxious reaction quickly shifted into one of annoyance as she couldn’t believe that he’d asked her to move in without realizing that he had nowhere for her to actually sleep, but her exhaustion left her quickly resigning herself to her fate.

“I guess I’ll just take the couch then.”

“No, I can’t have you doing that,” Jamie insisted, looking at her like she’d suggested something truly farfetched. “We can just share my bed.”

The panic came back as she felt her cheeks heat up at the thought of spending the night curled up in bed beside him and the smirk that slid onto Jamie’s face as he noticed the flush of colour only added to her embarrassment.

“Won’t that be weird?”

“Why would it be?” He countered. “We did last night, didn’t we? I don’t want you sleeping on the couch and if I do then I’ll be done in for training tomorrow.”

It was a valid point and it only took a minute of mulling it over for Lia to realize that sharing a bed wasn’t really that outrageous. She’d shared a bed with Katie several times over the years in a completely platonic way so there was no reason why she couldn’t do the same with Jamie and since they had no idea how long their little arrangement was going to last, it didn’t make sense for one of them to suffer indefinitely by sleeping on the couch - even though she was sure that Jamie’s couch was top of the line and probably more comfortable than her own bed had been.

“Okay,” she nodded in agreement after her moment of thought. “You’re right, it makes the most sense. Do you mind if I go to bed now? I’m pretty tired and I have work in the morning.”

“Course I don’t mind,” Jamie assured her. “I’ll help you with your suitcase.”

“Oh, you don’t have to…”

Her protests fell on deaf ears as Jamie rose from the table and headed down the hall to where she’d left her things by the front door. She tried again to stop him and was ignored once again, but she had to admit that the way his muscles strained under his shirt as he carried her heavy suitcase up the stairs had her wondering if she’d really be able to resist the temptation that came with sharing a bed with such a handsome and fit man.

-

chapter three

[pluckyredhead]

🍊🍌🍐 for the emoji meme???

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Tim Drake! I think Tim's relations with the rest of the Batfam are so interesting, I just have no actual story to put him in. Someday I'll come up with a long plotty Batfam genfic and then you'll see, you'll all see!

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

Unfortunately the one that immediately came to mind is from a WIP and it's so good I don't want to spoil it. But I will also say that almost every line I gave Bart in Say It Just One Time makes me laugh, especially this scene:

Jon moved, but Bart got there first, wrapping his arms around Kara and letting her cry. “Hey, it’s okay, we can still get married. We don’t need the rings. Or we’ll get placeholders. We’ll get Ring Pops! Or we can steal some money from Tim, he’s loaded.” “I would just give you the money, you know,” Tim said, but he didn’t look too annoyed, probably because the joke had drawn a wet laugh out of Kara. “There’s no need to try to make Drake feel useful,” Damian drawled, stepping forward and holding out a little velvet box. “The clone’s clone might be strong, but he’s too stupid to notice when his pockets are being picked.” Kara stared at him. “You...you got them back?” Damian shrugged. “It was a simple matt—oof!” He staggered back a little as Kara grabbed him in a hug. “Thank you,” she said, her voice still a little shaky. “Thank you.” Damian very clearly had no idea what to do with either the hug or the gratitude, but Kara let him go before Jon started feeling guilty enough to rescue him. He did take a quick step back when Bart approached, as if to avoid another hug, and Jon had to bite his lip not to laugh. “Thank you so much, Damian,” Bart said. “You were killed by your evil clone once too, right? We should form a club!” “We absolutely should not,” Damian said.

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Lian's death, hands down. You'll note that the only fics I've ever acknowledged it in are post-Infinite Frontier ones where she's already back.

Also in general I love to acknowledge relationships DC has forgotten about. Jason and Eddie, Roy and Grant...actually literally anyone and Grant...

Ask me more fruits!

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"Coffee, finally"

"Man, I can't believe it's over"

"That's understandable, we basically spent the whole night on panic mode"

"I know! And now we are supposed to go back and worry about normal stuff?

This is like when I was a kid and thought quicksand would be a big problem in my day to day life

What do you mean I don't have to think about time resetting maniacs anymore??"

"I mean, who would believe it?"

"That's true.

All of us are going to trauma bond so much"

"I can see that.

I'm glad we got friends out of it, at least.

That's how difficult it is to make friends as an adult, you need at least one stabbing for a dnd group"

"Been there, been there"

The house explodes again, the bomb squad is waiting on firefighters and the police.

The body was found and covered

They all agreed it was an attempted mass murder gone wrong

"... So, how do you feel?"

"Like a very used rope that will snap at the lightest weight"

"I feel like my skin is not as resistant as it used to be, like whatever happened took parts of me that I'll never get back"

"...Yeah, I understand"

"Not to be pessimistic, but part of me feels like I will never leave this place

Even though it's destroyed, even if they tear it down and build a starbucks on top

I think I'll still be here

A ghost of me"

Oliver Beebo recently started believing in ghosts

The supernatural and psychological type

"My dreams are going to get so weird now"

"Hey, I told you, didn't I? I have great contacts in the mental health department"

"Is that why you're so put together still?"

"I am nowhere near put together, I'm just great at acting like I do"

"I think someone called it masking?"

"Comes with the job"

"I'm sure"

Marigold approaches

"Hello! I wanted you two to know that we will take care of everything legal, but we do need you to testify, so if I could have your numbers for further contact?"

"Oh, of course"

"Also, the now renamed family Iraola cordially invites you to any and all holidays and game nights"

"Oh, nice! Does this involve card games?"

"If you ask Owen, he will immediately challenge you to some kind of battle on his multiple card game sets"

"I will bring only my best for such opponent"

"Uh, miss Marigold Iraola?"

"Yes?"

"When should we concrete the legal agreement to pass you the company?"

".... What?"

"You are the one who should have it. It's only fair"

He gives Oliver a look

"... really? But you used so much money!"

"Well, I wouldn't mind a, let's say, monetary compensation for my efforts both here and there"

"I don't think 'efforts' is the right word for your work at the company, Nadia would throttle you for saying that"

"Did it go broke."

"Uh. I don't know"

"...Alright, that's fine. I'll fix it and get you two with psychological compensation, medical compensation, and, well, compensation for the detective work"

"I have been in worse situations and been paid 20 dollars. This is the best thing that could happen to my wallet"

They interchange phone numbers and are put on the "Clock haters" groupchat

Vivi immediately floods his phone with cat memes

He answers with a thumbs up emoji

"... I feel like I should do something"

"It better not be stand up. Your ankle is lumpy and weird"

"No, no. I mean...

When I was at the other house, I promised to let a bit of beard grow, to, yknow, commemorate my survival, I guess.

Maybe I should let my hair grow? Would it look to unkept?"

"If you let someone else cut it, then you could look fine"

"But my money"

"I'll get it for you, im curious too.

Although, now we have these huge gashes on our faces, doesn't that count?"

"No, They weren't made intentionally.

...Maybe a tattoo?"

"Oh yeah! That's a good idea! I'll take you to my usual parlor"

"You have tattoos?"

"Yeah, but it's too cold to show you right now"

"Where will you go after this, by the way. Back to the capital?"

"No, I'm going to be too tired in the way there, I'll just stay the night at my hotel"

"Oh... well... y'know..."

"I don't live that far, well, I live in the region center, but that's way closer to here than the capital so, uh..."

"You could, you know, stay over if you want"

"... And do what?"

"Uh, do you like boardgames?"

"I supposed so"

"I really doubt we would have the energy to do anything else more, um, physically taxing"

"That's fair. I'll crash at your place then.

We could go sightseeing after, or just play video games inside"

"Yeah, and cook a nice breakfast, get some groceries maybe"

"Go to a park, get ice cream, play with your cat...

It would be nice, I'd like that.

A life like that"

"Ah, but I'm taking you to my apartment as well. You will meet the real city life, Coast Boy. "

"Oh, you city people with your underground trains and expensive international snacks"

"Haha, just the best for the capital!"

Silence hangs over them

"... I'm still scared"

"Of the future?"

"Yeah.

Will it ever go away?"

"... I don't know, I'll help you though.

I'll get you a planner. You can be like those instagram girls with a very strict planner"

"... Yeah, I guess.

Sorry, my mood is all over the place"

"I don't blame you"

"I mean, I don't even know what am I going to do after this. I'm basically out of a job"

"Well, what are your options?"

"I could go back to crime. Maybe hacking or something with medicaments, that could be fun."

"No, I'll get you"

"I know, but you'll do it lovingly"

"I guess I could go back to do something security related. It's boring, though."

"I heard my local chuck e cheese is hiring security guards"

"I am not applying as a night security guard in a building with animatronics."

"That's oddly specific"

"I still could be your detective assistant, I can use Excel, you know"

"You overestimate how much I'm paid"

"Or I could be literally anything else, but for now, I'll be on vacation"

"Yeah, me too"

"I'm thinking of taking cases of more haunted houses"

"... Are you out of your mind"

"I know how to stop them, and I wouldn't be going blind like these last two. I could even find a way to do it without entering them"

"Please stop risking your life. The detective life is already dangerous enough"

"I'm the house killer, the home terror"

"Sure, sure

Maybe I should be your bodyguard"

"Again, you overestimate how much I can afford"

They drink their drinks in silence

They can't help but feel slight sadness at it all

But time doesn't stop

"Ángel! Ángel look!"

"Huh?"

"The light, the sunrise is starting!"

It is 8:00 am

The sun is coming out

A cold breeze passes through them

The chatter of everyone quiets down

The sun is back

A new day has started

It always will

A collective melancholy passes through all of them

The eternal night is over

What now?

The future is waiting

They are alive

They will live another day

As many as they can

"We'll be alright

Not all of the time, but we will.

I'm going back home, finally

I've lost so much

And gained as well

I'm full of conflicting feelings that my subconscious will have a blast using

I'm scared too

But I'll be brave

Just to see another sunrise like this

With people that I love

We'll be alright

The future is full of chances"

A new day is born

And they watch it together

Hand in hand.

Thanks for playing

[emojiburst]

To everyone that has never seen my blog, I'm actually *super* popular, super well known by *everyone*. Trust me, this isn't a lie. You guys should absolutely follow me for that exact reason. You wouldn't want to miss out on my crazy popular content, right?

please.

They're free. Just use them, actually. You don't even need to credit me when you use them on Discord.

Please credit me if you post it anywhere else, like a TikTok or a Youtube video. It would obviously seriously help me in people seeing my stuff, not just you lovely individuals.

Just save them and enjoy them! If they're popular in your server, let me know! Maybe like and reblog, so more people come. More people mean more requests and more requests means more variety, right?

And this is more important than anything, guys. If you like something, please reblog it. Likes are great for my self-esteem, but reblogs help me. They help my blog, they let more people who might see my stuff and love me and make requests see me. It's all I ever ask from anyone that comes here. Please reblog any emoji you like and I'm actually love you forever.

Requests Info!!

If you would like to request an emoji, that's completely free! I'll do character/fandom emojis if they get enough requests (I usually just start polls over them if I'm not sure.)

If you want to request an OC emoji, they're $2 each. (They'd basically be exclusive to you, only posted if you want me to.)

I take Zelle and Cashapp, Paypal is a last resort since they love stealing my money.

[rainmustfallts4]

DovahSims: A Legacy of Legends ◇ Gen 1, Part 8

⊶⊰Info & Index⊱⊷ ⊶⊰Tag / Chrono⊱⊷ ⊶⊰Part 1⊱⊷ ⊶⊰Gen 1 Tag / Chrono⊱⊷

⊶⊰DovahSims Challenge Part 1 & Part 2⊱⊷

─────────────⊶⊰⊱⊷─────────────

Father Winter is here! Has Soren been a good boy this year? c:

He has! I wonder what he’ll get~

PFFFFFT YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVEN HIM COAL, I’M DEAD

It is a nice PC, though, and that means we can sell the laptop.

Soren decided he wanted to give back so he offered Father Winter one of the candles he made. It was a pretty one using blue dye!

look at his face omg he is not pleased

Soren, you’re getting coal next year, my guy.

Jacques literally came over and started cleaning lol He’s like, ‘Soren won’t do it himself so I guess I have to.’

What a good friend c:

That’s a good thing because the rules say you must stay single forever c:

Why does he look so… guilty? He looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

I think the biggest challenge is keeping up enough bits and pieces to keep fabricating and candle making. I sold the recycling machine we had because we needed the money at the time, but I’m thinking maybe I should have kept it? Then again, if I keep coming here, I can dive in the dumpster for recyclables that I can then put in the machine.

We found a bigger fridge! 😀 The mini fridge is cool and all, but it’s no full sized fridge, ya know? There’s only so much cheese you can fit in a mini fridge!

Another lifestyle earned lol It makes sense since his only friend is Jacques.

😮 It made a text emoji face! So cuuuute

His name is Squishy and we love him. He is our little Squishy.

I should have recycled these but I don’t know, I think they’re super cute. Plus, we need toys for the heir anyway and we don’t have to buy them this way! No one tell the heir his toys came from a dumpster…

[huffle-dork]

Etwas Peilen (Swapboys AU)

Continuation of Welcome to the Show exploring Alt and Henny’s relationship!

Masterpost | More Swapboys

Before the new friends parted ways, the good doctor Jackson rounded them all up to get their scratches and wounds tended to. Bro and Jackie were already helped, with Bro giving a detailed report to the police and Jackie icing his aching nose.

Dr. J had Alt up on the bar stools with him, lightly dabbing antiseptic on the cuts on his cheek. Alt hissed and was trying not to glitch away as Jameson held him still.

Henrik watched anxiously, wringing his fingers back and forth. He… can’t believe Magnificent just… let them go. Guess they proved themselves? Maybe… but- Henrik was scared the puppetmaster was only biding his time. And until now… he had no one who he could confide in.

Until… Alt.

As the good doctor started to gather his supplies and finished up with Alt, popping a clean white bandage on his cheek- Henrik hesitated before slowly approaching. The normally charismatic actor felt nerves in his throat but he tapped the glitch on the shoulder.

Alt looked back and raised an eyebrow at him, “Schneep? Uh… wassup?”

Henrik tapped his legs as he tried to find his voice, “T-Today was… long day. But- we… we have found ourselves in a uh… similar position, yes? And so I… I was wanting to invite you to make the drinkings with me?”

Alt’s eyebrows furrow in slight concern, “Are you suggesting alcohol to wash our troubles away? Cuz I don’t think the doc would approve of that-“ He glanced back towards Jameson as he went to join the others.

The gentleman laughs and shakes his head, “No no! Not in that way… I- just think it would be nice to… get to know each other better? Since well… you know.” Henrik messes with the back of his head anxiously, trying to give an award winning smile to Alt.

The younger man stared at Henrik with an unreadable expression for a couple beats. Then, he sighs and stuffs his hands in his pockets, going to pull his mask up out of habit but stopping himself to look back at the actor.

“…I should warn you I’m not an open person so… I dunno how much getting to know each other they’ll be… but, sure. Tomorrow night… meet me at Insomnia.”

Henrik tilts his head slightly, “Not tonight?”

Alt laughs, though, it looks kinda pained. “Nah I… I got a gig tonight.” He laughs some more and pushes his bangs back then tugs on them, “god… I have a gig… I… I should get ready for that…”

Henrik frowns in sympathy and hesitates before putting a hand on Alt’s shoulder. “Please… do not push yourself too hard my friend… and you… you are injured…”

Alt blinks in surprise at the gesture and then glitches back to his feet, looking at the actor warily. Henrik blinks and holds up a hand and Alt attempts to give a forced smile. “I-I would cancel but… I need money for drinks now.”

Henrik steps back and wildly waves his hands, half signing out of habit. “No no! You will not pay! It will be on me!”

The glitch seems surprised by this too. But, now he smiles more genuinely. “Well… all the more motivation then, huh?”

He lightly hits Henrik on the shoulder as he starts to walk away, turning so the gentleman can still read his lips. “…see you tomorrow then, Schneep. You know how to reach me.”

He then pauses and fully turns back towards Henrik, something dawning on his face. “Wait… you Do know how to text right? U-Use a phone?”

Henrik laughs and nods, “Ja I know the telefon! I’m not as fresh from the past as you think, my friend. I have learned very much!”

“Oh… okay- good then…” Alt nods then sends a two finger salute Henrik’s way, glitching away into that night. “See ya.”

Turns out Henrik did know how to text but… not… well-

Around 7 pm the next day Alt’s phone buzzed with:

Schneep

🍺🙏☑️❓❓❓

Alt

…Yeah man- how’s 9 sound?

Schneep

😁🥰❗️❗️❗️

Alt

U kno u don’t have to use only emojis to text right?

Schneep

👍

Welp- guess that answered that. (Asking Jackie about it- apparently after Dr. J helped Henrik get his phone, the teal gentleman accidently got stuck in the emoji menu for a couple days and now is like- addicted to them. Alt wasnt sure if that was better or worse than old man texting-)

A little after 9, Alt glitched in front of the small pub downtown called Insomnia. He liked it here- good place for a drink after some of his shows.

He walks in, nodding towards the bartender that recognized his mask. Then, it was surprisingly easy to find Schneep- cuz he barreled right towards Alt with his arms open.

“Hallo, Alt!! My friend!!” He shouted.

Alt quickly stumbled back, his shoulders buzzing as he tried to keep out of Henrik’s grip. He hurried to take off his mask and hold up his hands. “Uh- hi Schneep- sorry just- not good with… contact-”

Henrik tilted his head in confusion but then got the memo and nodded, a bright smile back on his face. “Oh yes! Not to worry- I will save huggings for later!”

“Y…yeah- sure-” Alt muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck. Damn- this guy was too sweet. It was kinda intimidating…

A furry head peaked out from Henrik’s leg and Alt recognized Schneep’s dog, Sahne. He felt himself bristle a bit like an offended cat. But, she just blinked at him, her tail slightly wagging. She had her vest on- guess she was working. So, Alt tried his best to ignore her.

Henrik led them towards a quieter part of the bar where he had already set himself up with a small book. Though, once Alt got closer he recognized it as something more than just a paperback novel- it was a small moleskin sketchbook. Henrik plopped into the seat and Alt hesitated before sitting down and gesturing towards the book.

“You… draw?”

The gentleman’s eyes sparkled as he eagerly nodded. “Oh yes! I quite like making art in my spare time! Normally, I like to paint… but when I wait for friends I like to draw portraits!”

He shows Alt his sketches- quick gestures of other patrons- mostly anyone with a very striking appearance. Henrik smiles as he looks at them. “I think… learning people is helping me to understand more and more about how people work now. Sometimes- it helps it feel not too different.” He pats Sahne’s head as she sits down next to him. She licks his fingers then settles down to rest under his barstool.

Alt listens and nods to his words. He then flushes and fumbles for his backpack. They were trying to get to know each other and… well- this was something most people don’t know about him. But, artists liked showing off to other artists. It couldn’t hurt… He pulls out a thin tablet and then turns on the screen, flipping to show it to Henrik. On the screen are designs he’s done for his illusions and shows- and concepts of graffiti tags, most featuring a green eyeball with red x’s and a stitched smiley face over its iris. Alt’s face turns very red as he stammers out, “I uh… I draw too. And, um… i also like- painting but… not in the way you do.”

The German actor looks beyond pleased, sparkles practically coming off his body as he grabs Alt’s hands and holds them close. Alt yelps and pulls himself away and Henrik apologizes quickly, “Oh yes sorry! But Alt! You are good! Such fun colors!! I wondered if it was bright paint on your clothes! Someday you must show me more of your work!”

The glitch turns even more red and hides a bit in his hoodie, “Um… yeah- if I can… find one that’s uh- in a good spot… I can show you.”

Alt had been trying to find more free spaces lately but- doesn’t mean he doesn’t still tag where he’s not supposed to. Not that anyone could catch him- he had quite the streak for heaven spots around the area. Couldn’t take Henrik to see those though- well, at least up close.

Alt flagged down the bartender and ordered some Irish whiskey, watching as Henrik got what looked like his 3rd pint of beer. He smirked and sipped at the drink, taking a second to appreciate it before he sighs and looks back at Henrik.

“Alright, you had something on your mind, right? Or were you serious about getting to ‘know me’?” Alt added the air quotes to make sure his sarcasm wasn’t lost on Schneep.

Henrik blinked and then played with the pages of his sketchbook. “Oh ah… I do- want to get to know you… I think you seem- well… very rough around edges- but… sympathetic too. I think I would very much like to be friends.” He tried to smile at Alt. But, then he sighs and takes a sip of his drink before continuing.

“But- if you want to skip pleasantries then- we can talk about the elephant in the air-”

“...do you mean ‘elephant in the room’?”

Henrik flushed and then laughed, “Oh is that how that is called? But… ja- let’s talk about this elephant.”

He then gets quiet and looks down, tracing the lines in the table.

“...Magnificent-” He eventually whispers, suppressing a shudder. “I… I could not help but notice… that he treated you and me… very different from each other.”

He looks to meet Alt’s eyes now, “I do not know how it works for you… maybe it is different… but when I am ah- puppet… I see it all. I remember. Not right away but… it comes to me in my dreams…” He grips one of his hands into a fist and closes his eyes as he takes a shaky breath. Sahne seems to sense his distress and reaches up to rest her head on his leg. He continues, “I cannot control what my body does. I cannot form my own thoughts- but I still… see it. I am forced to take in what awful things I am made to do…”

Henrik hesitates again before meeting Alt’s gaze. “in the warehouse, when he gave you his power… did you mean it? That you wanted all that or… was that his ah- thinking forced in you?”

Alt frowns. Wow- that was… immediately very deep. He takes a long sip of his whiskey before he responds, but his voice is quiet. He almost forgets he needs to turn enough for Henrik to read his lips.

“I… I was definitely influenced but… I guess. I do.. kinda want that?” He grips at his head slightly, “It’s… complicated… and goes wayyy into my backstory that I’m not sure you’re at a level to unlock yet.”

Henrik looks confused.

Alt shakes his head.

“Sorry video game joke uh- im not sure we’re… close enough yet… to explain why… but-”

“Then, can I share some of me?”

The glitch blinks at the actor. “Huh?”

“If you know me better then- we would be closer. And you can explain better, ja?” Henrik smiles.

Alt looks confused by this but eventually laughs and knocks back some more of his drink. “Alright, shoot.”

Henrik hums and looks up, “Oh… where to begin…?”

“Oh!” He grins at Alt, “I know is hard to believe because of my accent but- did you know I am not full German? Actually, I am a full British citizen!”

Alt’s eyebrows shot up, “...that is hard to believe.”

The gentleman laughs lightly, “I know my accent is everywhere- but I spent many of my early years only speaking German- and sometimes French!” He gets a dreamy look on his face, “My father was a British doctor- he learned in France where he met my mother. She was full German but was trying to study with some artists there. They met… fell in love and then moved to London and had their 5 kids.”

“5 kids?!”

“Yes! I was the baby!” Henrik added with glee. “I had 4 older siblings- two brothers, Peter and Fritz… and my sisters, Gabi and Ilse.” He smiles sadly for a second and pauses to take another drink before sharing more.

“Father used to say when he grew up he hated German because he was expected to learn it. But then, he met my mother and it was suddenly the most beautiful language to him. We loved speaking it- even while in England. I wouldn’t even see Germany until I was grown.”

He then frowns and leans more on the table, absent-mindedly petting Sahne’s fur back. “... that changed with the war. The great war… Then, our accents and our language was suddenly not to be spoken. People would get angry with us for sounding too German. We made sure to hide our German sounding names… Father was on the lines, as were my brothers.

So… they were… somewhat safe when the Zeppelins came. Safer than we were…”

Alt’s heart and stomach dropped.

“No one was prepared… we were out shopping and… and-” Henrk clenched his glass tight with both hands, his fingers shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a stuttering breath. Sahne whined and leaned more on his leg. Alt didn’t know what to say-

“... Mama, Ilse and Gabi didn’t have to suffer. But, I never saw them again-”

“...Schneep-” Alt tried to interrupt. But, Henrik was lost in his re-telling.

“That’s how my deafness started, I was… 11, I think? Peter found me, he was working in a hospital nearby. He took care of me. Some kind soldiers taught me sign while I recovered- then... Then father was-”

“Schneep!” Alt exclaimed and gripped onto Henrik’s shoulder. The gentleman looked up with slightly misty eyes. Alt was quick to pull away but he held up his hands. “Dude… you… you more than earned your level- I… I can answer your question now… if you want.”

Henrik blinks and then laughs, looking a bit embarrassed as he rubbed at his eyes. “O-oh ja… I forgot that was the point… we are not here to hear such sad story!” He tried to smile it off but Alt could tell it was forced.

Alt swallowed and then knocked down the rest of his drink, the alcohol burning his throat. He quickly ordered another one, shaking himself out. “Need a bit more liquid courage for this…” He muttered.

Once the new drink is gotten, Alt holds it in his hands for a second before sighing and turning enough for Henrik to understand but not enough to look in his eyes. Pixels vibrate around his head and shoulders in a way that’s hard to see in the dim light of the pub.

“… I dunno if you met anyone like me in your time. And not just.. cuz of the glitches and magic but… I was… born… wrong.” He clenched his teeth slightly and tried to ignore the feeling that was screaming at him- telling him that every eye was on him. “…And I grew up… constantly thinking about it… how I wanted to be something… better. Stronger… because I didn’t feel like I was… as I am.”

He traces the rim of his cup in thought. Henrik watched him very patiently. Alt felt like that was more than he deserved.

“I know Mag was spitting fucking bullshit- but… some part of me… wants to believe him. And I’m not sure if that’s his mind tricks or… the part of me that wants to be… something more. I.. I want to be stronger… but I don’t know how to get there… and for just a little bit… I did believe him. That he could… make me stronger. And… things would get… easier.”

He leans his head on the table, starting to feel the alcohol in his cheeks. Schneep leans closer to make sure he can still understand. Alt angles his head a bit better as he mumbles in defeat.

“I’m sorry… I know you want to find some good in me but… my life has royally sucked. And… sometimes what Mag purrs out sounds… argh!”

He suddenly grips at his head, a headache blooming alongside his conflicted mind. Purple seems to spark weakly in his eyes.

“I dunno! I’m confused! I… I can still hear his stupid smug voice in my head…! I don’t know what I want…! I just- I just… I’m so fucking tired…! Of all of this-! I’m tired of being hungry and- and- powerless and a-scared… I don’t want to feel so lost anymore…!”

He starts to cry but hides his face and he hiccups “I want all of this to stop…!”

Henrik almost misses the last part but- his eyebrows crinkle with sympathy. Alt starts to come back to himself and then shoots up, looking at Henrik with wide eyes and red ears.

“Fuck I- I didn’t… I didn’t want to-“

The gentleman hesitates, going to reach out like he wants to touch Alt’s hand, but then stops to just loop his pinky around Alt’s own. Alt almost pulls away but- that’s… that’s not so bad.

“I understand,” He says softly, “He whispers siren songs- into your head. But… he will only tell you things you want to hear. He does not care… he only wants control. His promises are… empty.”

He sighs and looks down, shrugging. “That is how he got me. He used my confusion and promised to help me… he did not. He is nothing but ein lügnerischer Bastard.”

Alt looks away but- he’s afraid to tell Henrik how little he cared. Before, he met the others. Before he even thought he could become friends with them… with anyone. He didn’t care who he hurt- if he got hurt. Because- he’d finally be somewhere better…. Someone better. ….right?

Henrik lets go of Alt’s pinky and then waves a hand, giving a nervous smile.

“This is getting too of the serious! We should… talk about other things!”

Alt looked down at the table and sighs. “ I… I think… I need to go home…”

“No!” Henrik suddenly yells, startling the glitch and Sahne, who bumped her head on his leg. The actor then pleads to Alt. “We do not need to talk anymore if that is what you want! We can just… do the hangings out! We could… draw together and drink! No more serious talk!”

This gives Alt pause. Actually… that sounded like it could be fun. The pickpocket slowly smiled, bringing back his tablet. “You know what Schneep… I’ll bite. But it’s on your wallet-“

Schneep beamed brightly.

The two spent a while just drawing together. Alt tried to copy Henrik’s idea of drawing others around him. But- he wasn’t nearly as good as Schneep. So, he went back to what he knew- he even tried making bubble tags of the others' names. Just for fun. It was nice to just- doodle for a change.

He glanced at Schneep who had paused in his drawing to stare at someone across the way. He had a somewhat lovestruck look on his face.

Alt tried to follow his gaze- and saw what looked like a man- but honestly their gender was pretty ambiguous. They had tan copper skin and wavy brown hair. They were dressed in shiny silks with celestial patterns on them- even Alt had to admit they were very pretty. Maybe they were a model.

Henrik seemed to think so too- cuz as Alt looked at Henrik’s sketchbook- the whole page was filled with studies of that one person.

The glitch smirked and then bumped Henrik enough to get his attention. “Like something you see?”

“Hm? Oh! Ja… very much-“ Henrik sighed as he looked back. “He is… so pretty- I cannot stop looking…”

Alt rolled his eyes and waved a hand in front of his face. “Careful- you don’t want to creep them out-“

Then Alt frowns, realizing something.

“Wait… Schneep- are you… gay?” Alt makes a face and thinks, “wasn’t that like- a sin back then or something?”

Henrik’s face turns bright red with embarrassment and alarm. He holds his cheeks and ducks down, whispering, “ah yes right I- I cannot think such things!”

Alt wasn’t expecting such a response- so he hurries to correct him “no no it’s okay! it’s… not like it was anymore. It’s okay now- no laws against it!” Alt hurried to look around then gestures vaguely at a cluster of gay couples on another side of the pub. “Like see there’s a couple guys over there too- you’re fine…”

The actor seems to calm slightly at this and nods. Alt hesitates before adding, “I just- didn’t expect someone from your time to even be into that…”

Henrik laughs “Well it was- against the law. Very strictly for a longtime… but it does not mean the thoughts are not there.” He looks back to study the pretty person again as he swirls his drink in his glass. “Though… I think I like just- pretty people in general. I do not care what sex they are, you know?”

“Well- if it helps, I think they’re non-binary- from what I can tell at least.” Alt shrugs.

“Ah yes… that is- neither girl nor boy… yes?”

“It gets… complicated but- yeah basically.” Alt answers. He makes a face and takes a long sip of his drink. “Gender is weird.”

He then starts to think about this too. Maybe he was having too much to drink by now but- he finds himself muttering. “I get it… the pretty people thing. I- think I’m the same…? Though… I dunno- I don’t… crush on anyone. But I think if I knew someone for long enough… maybe-” Alt sighs dramatically and falls back against the table, squishing his cheek against it. “feelings are weird too…”

Henrik smiles and shakes his head with a laugh, “They are indeed…”

“Fucking hate them-“ the glitch muttered. Henrik shakes his head with a quiet giggle.

“You know- I had many chances to visit Berlin once I started acting. And it was such a sight…! It was… more okay there- to be queer. Even here in Brighton, it was becoming better and better! It made me feel… so happy. Like I could be understood- eventually.”

He looks to Alt and smiles, “Even when I was younger… I think I heard of people like you, Alt.” Alt’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

He grips his glass and looks down at the table. “However…It all started to change… right before I- I was brought…“ He pressed his lips together and suppressed a shudder.

Alt’s face creases in sympathy. He knocks back the rest of his drink then adds quietly. “…you dodged something really awful, Schneep…”

“I know…” Henrik’s voice cracks. “…I am… grateful in some ways… that I did not have to suffer another war… but…” He bites his lip to keep from crying.

Alt can tell there’s a lot left unsaid in the silence but he can read it well enough. No need to draw out this pain for the poor guy. Alt’s been pretty sensitive to touch tonight but- he leans his shoulder against Hen and flags down the bartender for another round. “…it’s okay, Schneep. I get it… let’s talk about something else, alright?”

Henrik quietly nods.

There’s quiet for a second before Alt asks, “uh… I don’t know- a lot of sign yet… wanna try to teach me? Something simple though.”

Schneep’s face instantly lights up with excitement and nods. “Oh yes!! I have the perfect thing!!”

Turns out- in sign, you can either finger spell a name or whoever’s signing can make up a sign that’s faster for someone they know. So, Henrik made quick work of teaching Alt the signs he used for their little group.

Bro Fantastic was the letter B then the sign for hero. Jackie was J then the sign for tired. Dr. J was easy- it was two J’s then the sign for doctor, naturally. And Sahne was cream, dog. Because Sahne in German meant Cream. Not the most creative name but- Alt had to admit it suited her.

Eventually Henrik starts to sign something that starts with A- then he makes a jagged motion in the air. Alt tilts his head.

“What’s that one?”

“It’s you! A- then lightning! Alt!” Henrik adds cheerily.

Alt feels his face heat up slightly. He then grins and laughs, “heh- awesome. Got any others?”

Henrik thinks- and Alt can see his cheeks getting flushed and warm like he feels on his own. So everything was a bit harder to slug through- but it was definitely more fun.

Finally, Henrik laughs and then starts a sign that looks like he’s drawing whiskers on his face. Then he taps his hand on his forehead, holding it straight up and touching the thumb to his skin.

Alt narrows his eyes. “Mmmm what’s that mean-“

Henrik grins real wide as he shows again, this time explaining. “Cat, bitch!”

The glitch’s eyes widen and then he barks out a laughs nearly spilling his drink. “Magnificent!”

“Yes! You got it!”

They both erupt into drunken laughter and giggles, falling over on each other.

The night wears on for a bit longer before the two admit they’ve had enough to drink. Alt feels it a bit more than his German counterpart and ends up stumbling into him as he attempts to stand up, nearly running into Sahne.

“Oops… s’rry pubby-“ Alt mumbles. Sahne wags her tail vigorously in response.

Henrik laughs then asks, “Can I help you outside, or?”

Alt grumbles and waves his hand. “Yeh ye- do wh’ev’r ya want…” He then pushes his face somewhat against Henrik’s side and the taller man quietly giggles at the sight.

Henrik leads the two outside and then tries to flag down a cab. He helps hold Alt up with one arm, while Sahne guards his other side, alerting him to any sounds he needs to watch out for.

He feels Alt shift and looks down to see the tired glitch try to find his eyes.

“…hen?” Alt slurs out.

It takes a second for Henrik to process that but his eyebrows shoot up. Alt hasn’t attempted to use his first name yet- it still wasn’t it fully, but it was close enough to make Henrik’s chest feel light.

The glitch looks away at first but then looks back to mumble out, “…it was nice. To not drink… alone.”

Henrik smiles and nods, “…I thought so too! It was very funny! …Perhaps we can… do it again sometime?”

Alt can’t help but feel himself smile. “…yeah… I think I’d like that…”

[itwoodbeprefect]

belated writing emoji asks, if you still feel like answering

🤡🦅👀

(these look weirdly big for some reason, apologies!)

ooh, this looks like an interesting horror story. a GIANT clown is about to be attacked by a HUGE bird but unbeknownst to either of them... disembodied eyes (BIG ones)... are watching... 👀 (but bigger)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh? & 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

hee, you and @luredin had similar brainwaves it seems, because she also started with both of these in the same order! i answered them here, but i can come up with another example for the clown: in Johnny Lawrence vs. The Computer: A Tale of BOOP (a cobra kai fic) i was definitely cackling while writing some of johnny’s internal monologue around tech. he’s canonically awful with it to the point of parody (he's never owned a computer before! he's not a nerd!), which is obviously a great starting point, and this fic is essentially about johnny (briefly) drunkenly trying to catfish daniel and then getting mad about it, while he also just doesn’t understand how anything works:

The thing that makes the internet so great and also so much worse than the real world is that everything is really impersonal. You don’t hear people talk, you don’t see their faces, and you sure as hell can’t kick their ass through a wifi. So who’s gonna know if Johnny decides to play a prank on LaRusso and pretend he’s someone else? Who’s gonna figure out he’s not Jennifer Smith, a hot single mom with really great honkers who’s looking for a strong man to sell her a car?

Johnny types the email, sends it, laughs to himself about it for a bit (LaRusso is going to look so dumb if he thinks Johnny is actually a hot single mom with great honkers) and then wakes up hungover the next day and forgets all about it.

Until his computer goes BOOP.

There’s a fresh email in his internet.

there’s also a bit where he feels pretty smart for knowing that his email adress has a typo in it, because even he knows it’s email, not gmail - and a reference at the end to johnny having ongoing email exchanges with “half a dozen African princes with really naïve ideas of money management” (because there’s a scene in canon where he gives his information to all kinds of spam/conspiracy websites, iirc), which is of course a very obvious joke, but i just like the idea of that a lot. everyone’s wasting their time in those interactions, and they probably all deserve it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

well. for the starsky watches westerns fic i’ve recently been googling pretty cowboy hats, and it led to what’s probably going to be the first kiss scene! i keep changing the color of hutch’s hat though, so that’s yet to be decided.

also, yesterday i finally watched 1971’s zachariah, which was exciting because a) i learned i should have done that much earlier (not the painful warhol-esque experience i was dreading at all!!! honestly an almost perfect movie! and oh my god, that poster) and b) it (arguably together with blazing saddles, and maybe one or two others i still need to actually watch) throws a delicious spanner in the works for the central thesis of the fic so far, which was something like “if you’re a queercoded cowboy (in the movies), you’re probably going to end up dead (so what does that mean if i see us in them)” - and i’m sticking with that, but it’s great to be able to paint in more than one shade. (not only does zachariah not die, he gets a happy end! with his cowbff boyfriend buddy partner! after they start the movie by shOOTING A HOMOPHOBE. like i said, an almost perfect movie, and very exciting stuff to me.)

i also wrote some louise content (the guinea pig, i’m stubbornly keeping her as a part of this) that i could probably have used for the clown answer. while they’re watching red river:

“That’s a nice-looking gun you were about to use back there,” says Cherry Valance, and Starsky, his eyes newly opened, is left almost breathless from the impact.

“Don’t look,” he says, and cups a hand over Louise’s little face, because what’s happening on screen - those guys fondling each other’s guns, making them go off - it’s downright indecent.

send me emojis (if you want)!🌈