I don't think I've posted many on here so I'll post a few (also you're so real for that capshot is my life. Live, laugh, love, capshot)
★ Shotgun man uses his shotgun like a baseball bat when he runs out of ammo
★ Shotgun the type of guy to say stuff like "I'm not afraid of anything!!" Then have some cliche fear like heights or Trypophobia
★ Shotgun would not be able to take anything seriously at all
★ Captain takes his job seriously, but he just really sucks at it (not nearly as bad as Shotgun though)
★ Captain seems like the type of person to like transformers
★ I imagine Shotgun ends up in the hospital quite a bit for injuries he obtained from doing dumb stuff, not a huge amount, but wayy more than the average person
★ Captain would make up random stuff to tell Shotgun just for Shotgun to go, "Really?" And he can go, "No"
★ Captain's hair is naturally a bit curly, it very distinctly curls up at the ends (look at his concept art) but he puts gel in it
★ Shotgun would live under a rock. He knows nothing about what's going on in the world. Captain would ask him if he remembers something that happened literal years ago and he'd just be like, "WHAT??"
★ Shotgun would really like sour candies and gummies. Captain would be more of a chocolate person (specifically dark chocolate)
★ Captain has a fake plant he bought, thinking it was real, and didn't figure out it was fake until he watered it and none of the water got absorbed into the fake dirt. He also has one of those big fake floor plants in his office at work. Also captain would be very picky (??) about letting people in his office.
★ Captain would take stupidly long showers
★ Shotgun is nearsighted and needs glasses but doesn't have them. If he did have them they'd break immediately.
★ Shotgun and Jack probably get along pretty well (they're both trigger happy). Both Jack and John would hate captain with a passion though.
★ Shotgun would suck at remembering people's names
★ Captain and Commando would be good friends (my reasoning is that in every fuckin fps, captains first appearance, they showed up together [I don't have much to work with])
★ Shotgun's favorite donuts would be cake donuts
★ Shotgun is the type of guy to lick a salt lamp
★ Captain would have a salt lamp
★ Shotgun has licked Captain's salt lamp behind his back
★ Shotgun would suck so bad at cooking, he's lit a coffee pot on fire before
★ Captain would actually be pretty good at cooking
★ Captain would have a black car that is in really good condition and is very clean. He'd be very proud of it and every time someone rode in his car for the first time he'd have a whole monologue about it and he'd do stuff like patting the hood of it affectionately while showing his car off. His car would be named Midnight Obsidian and if anyone said it and shortened it to just Midnight or Obsidian he'd correct them and be like, "uhh no you have to say the full thing."
★ Captain's favorite smell would be coconut and Shotgun's would either be ice cream store or gunpowder
★ AuDHD shotgun real
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i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.
Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better
So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).
[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]
You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.
You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three
Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)
Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.
Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)
While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.
...
Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.
...
The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor
You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.
It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable
here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea
it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks
Happy Cooking!
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🧠Fake Amnesia
*part of the reverse trope series*
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fan!Reader
Genre: Fluff/Humor/SMAU
Summary: There was a saying that if you knew a celebrity existed, your chances of meeting them out and about decreased significantly. Is it true? No clue. But, you weren't about to let that stop you from finding Lando Norris in Imola.
*I am so so sorry for the very late and delayed chapter. I hope you all like it! I switched out this one to write it before the next as "Love Triangle" was supposed to come out first, but we've had a lot of Lestappen for now! But here we go!"
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Were you a bit stupid?
Yes. Yes you were. Did you more money than your budget allowed just to get to Imola a few days early to possibly not even find Lando? You didn’t want to talk about it.
But right now as you perused through the local shopping area, you didn’t take the time to really dwell on your past choices. Only finding Lando could save you now. Which that seemed like a faraway dream.
Whatever that one reddit post said about having a higher chance of meeting a celebrity if you didn’t know them was absolute bullshit. You couldn’t go back in time to stop yourself from liking a thirst trap of Lando on TikTok. And now because of that, your chances of meeting the British driver seriously decreased.
How on earth were you supposed to find one of the most popular men alive, on a race weekend, where everyone was already looking to spot the driver in a more relaxed setting? You had no clue. But the shopping center felt like a good idea.
You had been drawn in by one of the jewelry sections, eyes glazing over the number of zeros that followed every first number. Your heart winced at the thought of even buying one. To be honest, you didn’t even know how you got into this mall in the first place. Everyone around you was dressed in the highest European fashion.
Your outfit wasn’t terrible per say, but it didn’t reflect the Italian area either. You were wearing some cream baggy linen pants that matched the light orange top that you had thrown on after scrambling to find a shirt. You didn’t really know exactly what shirt you were wearing, except that it was comfortable and went well with the pants. The giant number 4 on the back went completely unnoticed. Sandals adorned your feet and sunglass sat as though a crown on your head. Your cross-body bag dangled a bit against your side.
You had just cringed once again at a price tag when your eyes landed on some brown curly hair. Your eyes followed the coils down to the face and you wanted to scream (but held it in because you were not about to get kicked out).
There was no way that Lando Norris was standing about 10 feet away from you.
There was no way.
Except your hands automatically opened your phone and the twitter app popped up. You were too busy looking down at your phone, fingers moving at the speed of light, to notice that some hazel eyes had landed on your figure.
Lando, on the other hand, wanted to sigh. Could he go one day without having to get stopped by fans? The giant 4 on your shirt seemed to mock him. Internally, he was wishing that the girl was a Max or Charles fan.
But, he was going to be the bigger person and approach the nice looking girl before she could bring more attention to him. He decreased the space between them and tapped her shoulder, getting her attention.
You were not expecting a tap on the shoulder. And you were definitely not expecting that tap to come from Lando Norris’s finger.
“Can I sign something for you?” he asked. The sound of his voice must have put some type of spell on you since you felt as though you couldn’t speak.
Lando huffed. “Please? I don’t need other people finding out that I’m here and then I’ll have to leave.”
You blinked twice at him before you finally found your voice. “I’m sorry. Who are you exactly?”
Stupid reddit post.
The McLaren driver wanted to smack himself. Were you a fan? Or maybe you were wearing a papaya colored shirt that supported another person, who happened to have the same number? Or maybe if was your friend’s shirt? Or one you thrifted?
He winced. “I am so sorry. I thought. . . ”
You shifted on your feet, brain trying to come up with an idea for what happens next. You were standing in front of thee Lando Norris. You couldn’t miss this opportunity.
Lando watched your eyes widen and he wanted to hide. Maybe you were just shocked that it was him?
Your eyes then squinted. “You look really familiar. Oh, I know where you’re from.”
The Briton wanted to run and hide. This was it, you were going to start squealing, and then other people will look that way, see Lando, cause a giant crowd, and then he wouldn’t be able to do anything for the rest of the weekend.
He was doomed.
“You’re that actor right? From Spiderman.”
This time, Lando blinked while staying silent.
“No, I believe that’s Tom Holland.”
“Oh.”
Now it was getting awkward with the two of you just looking at each other. Which, this gave you the perfect opportunity to memorize the different shades of blue, green, and brown in his eyes. You looked to the side and chewed on you bottom lip.
Lando looked stuck.
“I am so sorry for interrupting your shopping,” he started out.
You waved your hands, trying to act nonchalant. “It’s fine. Wasn’t like I could buy anything here. Way too many zeros for my liking.”
Lando giggled at that and you internally melted.
Time to add “got Lando Norris to giggle like a schoolgirl” on your resume.
“Yeah. Bit too posh for me as well.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Really? You look like you fit in a bit more than I do.”
He rolled his eyes before huffing. “I’d rather spend time playing video games at my house instead.”
Now this is what you could get behind. When you first started following Lando, gaming started to interest you. Because of him, you were able to meet a bunch of friends through gaming. Your notifications were specifically set up to let you know when Lando was streaming.
Your eyes lit up with some excitement, which Lando thought was adorable.
“I like to game too! It’s fun playing weird simulator games. Me and my friends tried this goat game one time and we couldn’t stop laughing.”
This time, Lando’s eyes sparkled.
“I’ve played goat simulator too with my friends! Charles . . .” he caught himself, not wanting to give out more names. “Uh my friends Carl, Alec, and Jord really liked it during the pandemic. And then we got Dax in on it too.”
You wanted to absolutely start laughing, since you actually watched that stream live back in 2020. The cute names he gave to Charles, Alex, George, and Max were adorable. Your friends, although knowing you were watching the stream, had sent you the link and asked if you’d want to play the same simulator. Let’s just say, your laugh rivaled teapot-Charles.
“They sound like fun,” you said, a warm tone in your voice that had Lando melting like chocolate under a hot summer’s sun.
There was a bit of silence before Lando spoke up again. “Do you maybe, this sounds so weird, but there’s a game store farther down, would you want to join me?”
There was no way in hell that you’d tell him no.
You smiled up at him. “Sure! Lead the way! By the way, I’m Y/n.”
Lando went to say something but stopped. You could tell he almost said his name, and you’d bet money on the name that was about to come out of his mouth.
“I’m Bob.”
Bingo.
You snorted. “You don’t look like a Bob. But what would I know?”
The two of you laughed as you started walking farther into the shopping center. You exchanged laughs here and there, sharing stories about your lives with Lando being very vague about his day job.
“I work as an Uber driver,” he had said after you confessed that you were now working as a part-time gamer and then part-time relator. The work was hard, but that job allowed you to spend your hard-earned money on fun things like: coming to Imola early to try to find Lando.
Low-and-behold, you did.
Spending the afternoon with him felt so comfortable, as if you had known each other your entire lives. And Lando, to his surprise, felt the same. After the gaming store, he even invited you to lunch.
“You know you don’t have to do that,” you told him, but kept stride alongside him as he walked toward the small restaurants.
He shrugged. “I know. But I like spending time with you.”
A deep blush formed on your face as you kept walking. The bright red caused Lando to smirk just a bit.
As you ate and made conversation, you suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom. You quickly excused yourself and left, leaving Lando at the table along.
He hadn’t meant to look, but your phone kept going off and his eyes just barely looked at your screen. They widened with he noticed his exact points in the season along with McLaren’s and the race schedule. And the picture of him from Miami after his first win as your lockscreen.
The Box-Box app.
He pursed his lips for a moment, briefly feeling played. But as he sat and thought about the past few hours that he spent with you, he felt content. At any point, you could have screamed his name, asked for a picture, and ruin his shopping trip. You could have tweeted his location and hordes of people would have shown up.
But you didn’t.
The McLaren driver was so caught up in his head that he didn’t heard you coming. Thankfully, your screen had gone dark, still giving the effect that you “didn’t know” who he really way.
“Everything ok Bob?” you asked as you sat back down, stealing one of his French fries from his tray.
Lando shook his head, ridding the “betrayal” from his thoughts.
“Just perfect. Trying to figure out who might win the Formula 1 race this weekend.”
He wanted to smirk at you froze for just a second before leaning back just a bit, arms crossed over your chest.
“What is that? Some type of NASCAR thing?”
Oh, so you knew how to play.
Luckily for Lando, so did he.
“It’s a bit different,” he said as he took a sip of his drink.
You were internally freaking out.
Did he know? If he knew then he might say something. And then he’ll call his security team and get you a ban from the paddock. And you might even go to jail for stalking. Could you even go to Italian jail for that? You didn’t know and didn’t want to find out.
However, Lando kept silent as the two of you finished your lunches. Easy conversation did flow once again when you steered it back to gaming. You had a giant smile as the two of you walked out of the shopping area.
However, your heart dropped when you realized that the time with the Briton was coming to a quick end. Lando was feeling the same.
You let out a sigh as you turned to look him in the eyes. “Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun! Like I said, you didn’t have to.”
Lando scoffed. “Of course I did. I interrupted your shopping. It was the least I could do.”
There was a lingering silence before you broke it.
“I guess this is the end then Bob.” You held out a hand for him to shake, but he rolled his eyes and brought you into a hug. You parted after a bit and started to walk toward the little Fiat you had rented for the weekend.
Lando felt torn until he realized he could definitely see you again.
“Y/n! Wait!”
You turned around to see Lando running up to you, phone out.
“Can I have your number?”
Yep, this is how you were going to die. Y/n L/n found dead in a parking lot after Lando Norris asked for her number. What an amazing way to go out in the end.
You didn’t say anything, but quickly opened your phone and handed it to him, new contact ready to be filled out. The driver was smirking to himself as he filled out his information. He handed your phone back to you, only to lean down and kiss your cheek.
The familiar bright red once again filled them in as he leaned back.
“I had a lot of fun today. Maybe I’ll see you soon?” he quietly said as he started to walk away.
“Maybe,” you said back, biting your bottom lip after.
Lando swore that if the two of you weren’t in the parking lot, he’d bite it for you.
When he was a bit away, he turned back and waved at you, happy to see that you were still staring at him. But who wouldn’t stare at Lando Norris though. Definitely not you, you could stare all day long if you could.
“Bye Y/n!”
“Bye Lando!”
Your hands clapped over your mouth as you watched him lean back in a full laugh. You even had him hunching over in a fit of giggles. You still watched as his shoulders shake as he got into what looked to be an Uber.
Your phone buzzed, causing you to look down at it. There was an email and a text message. One from McLaren and one from “Lando 🧡”
“Maybe next time I can sign your shirt. I think it’s cute that you follow my points :)”
You turned around quickly, trying to see the back of your shirt in the reflection of your rental car. There it was, in all it’s glory.
The giant-ass “4.”
“Shit.”
y/n_l/n has posted
y/n_y/n kinda confused about 20 guys driving around in circles. someone know what this is called?
also ran into this really cute guy. says he drives for a living. didn't know uber drivers could be hot
liked by friend1, bestie, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 3,204 others
friend1 ayo is that the guy that you will not shut up about?
landonorris awww you don't shut up about me??
y/n_l/n STOP EXPOSING ME
bestie ok I see the appeal, can you ask someone for that brunet in the red's number??
maxverstappen1 🤺🤺🤺
y/n_l/n i think he's taken
charles_leclerc I am??
maxverstappen1 ☹️
charles_leclerc I AM TAKEN
friend2 so luckyyyyyyy
friend4 glad you had fun!
oscarpiastri I think it's called Formula 1
y/n_l/n finally someone who knows something @.landonorris you've been replaced
landonorris osc, we've talked about this
fan1 what the heck is going on
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