#maybe i never should have come to live with my older brother and his spouse

[muffinrag]

y'all my life is in the shitter. it will get better. but rn it's Bad

[maybege]

Safe And Warm - Part 1

Summary: Din convinces Paz to find the long lost Princess and bring her to her family in Coruscant. What Paz did not expect was her very beautiful companion and the feelings she would wake in him. (Anastasia AU)

Pairing: Paz Vizsla x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 6.1k | Rating: T

Warnings: one (1) tense moment of threatened violence, otherwise Disney-level fluff, also Mandalorians do not wear helmets in this AU

FINALLY! When I start writing this in November of last year I certainly did not expect it to take this long until I would publish it but the writing gods had other things in mind. This is a loose Anastasia AU with a bit of a mixture of like 1920’s fashion/aesthetics set in the Star Wars Universe. It was a lot of fun to write and – in my mind – is like a 90-minute fun Disney movie with romance sprinkled in.

Because there will be two parts of The One posted next week, the second (and final) part of this story will be posted on July 23. Always, feedback is greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy it!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

Paz was sure that Din had lost his mind.

To be fair, he had thought that more than once but this time he was convinced that it had finally happened. Din Djarin had lost his stars forsaken mind.

But, as always, Din did not seem to be deteriorated by his friend’s disapproval.

“Valoria has been destroyed a long time ago now,” Paz said, “And everyone on it has been destroyed with it.”

“Yes, except maybe what if it hasn’t?”

Paz scoffed, “I very much doubt that.”

His eyes wandered around the cantina they were sitting in. The bar was packed by what seemed to be the crews of the trade ships, gambling and laughing at their tables, and over on the other side of the glittering gown of the singer caught his eye. Stars, he just wanted one calm evening …

“Paz,” Din grabbed him by the upper arm, “We all know the remaining Valars are Coruscant royalty so to speak and them setting out a price for the lost princess? That must mean she is out there somewhere. And wewill be the ones to bring her home.”

Paz did not say anything. He wanted nothing more than another drink and maybe watch a good fighting match. Stars, maybe even participatein a good fighting match.

But Din did not give up. He never did.

“Think of the money, Paz,” he implored, “That would be more than enough to build a new classroom in the covert and get you one of those fancy new blasters the Armourer has been eyeing – and that would only be with half your share.”

Paz hesitated.

They did need a new classroom. Or at least some improvements on the current one. Last week, some bricks had tumbled down and it had been pure luck that none of the foundlings had been there.

He would have never been able to forgive himself if something had happened to one of his students.

He sighed in defeat, his shoulders dropping and he leant back in his chair. “How do you plan on finding – what’s her name again Thama-something?”

“Thalassa,” Din corrected him with a smug grin on his face. He had probably realized by now that he had captured Paz’s interest. Smug bastard.

“And you’ll be glad to know that I have found her already.”

“Found her?” Paz was stunned, “I am impressed, vod. You never seemed like the planning type.”

Din ignored his jab and set out the map, the galaxy lighting up between them. “A reliable source told me we can find her here,” he pointed to the very end of the map, symbolizing the edge of the Outer Rim, “All we need to do is get her from here to here,” he drew an imaginary line all the way to Coruscant, “Without having anything happen to her.”

“Seems easy enough,” Paz commented, brows furrowing, “So why do you need me for it?”

“There might or might not be a price on her head … from the Imps,” Din admitted.

He knew there had to be a problem somewhere.

“Do you have any idea how many things can go wrong? This is asking for trouble Din,” Paz cursed, clearly unhappy with that tidbit of information, “No credits in the whole wide galaxy would make this worth it. I have no desire to have a run-in with the Imps any time soon.”

“Vod, please,” Din said, “I – kriff, I need the money to get stuff for the kid,” Paz's eyes fell to the little pod in which the green child – his honorary nephew – was sleeping, “I need him safe, alright? And I need your help, brother, please.”

“Alright,” Paz murmured, nodding, “But I already know this will go wrong.”

*

Din’s ‘hot tip’ led them to a planet on the Outer Rim. The very edge of it, to be exact.

They had gotten a ride on a friend’s ship much to Paz’s amusement. Din begrudgingly calling Boba Fett of all people for help all the way from Tatooine was the highlight of his week – month, even.

The Razor Crest was hopelessly broken down and Paz was sure that Din would use significant amounts of his share to get the ship and his home back on track.

They had left Grogu with the covert under the watchful eye of the Armourer, knowing that the mission would be too dangerous and too risky to take him along. That was the moment Paz knew that Din was serious about all of this. For his vod to leave his kid somewhere that was not with him – that was a big step.

A step which both of them seemed to regret as they landed on the planet in question. It was muddy and green and brownish, a wholly unappealing colour palette. The sky was dark or … well, not dark. But it seemed to be a permanent twilight no matter what time it was and with the small drizzle, the rain seemed to paint the whole world a constant grey.

The only homes that littered the streets – or rather trampled paths – were small homes, only distinguishable from the grey horizon by the small fires that lit up their windows.

Paz had never been so sure that there would never be a princess here. But maybe that was exactly what made this the perfect hiding spot.

And so, he hoisted his bag higher on his bag as they trudged through village after village in search for whatever sign Din deemed to be worthy to stop for. As the rain lessened, the sky lightened up a little but they were still wet to the bones and Paz hated it.

After hours of walking, Din finally stopped in front of a small hut.

Children were playing in the space between the houses and the few adults that seemed to be working outside eyed the newcomers suspiciously. Paz’s hand felt the blaster on his hip, a strange feeling overcoming him at being watched.

“I don’t like this, vod,” he murmured, “I really don’t.”

Din hummed in agreement before knocking on the door.

A few moments passed and then an elderly man opened. Both his eyes and his hair were grey, he seemed … worn. Tired and worn. But when he spotted them, and his eyes flew immediately to the weapons on their hips, he tensed. And so did Paz.

Surely this was not the best first impression they could make.

Then again, he was impatient to get away from here.

“I know why you are here,” the man said, his eyes lighting up in excitement as he motioned for them to come inside.

Paz was confused by this but he did not complain. The man did not seem to have any weapons on him and, as surprising as it was, he seemed genuine.

The house they were led into was simple. The downstairs consisted of a single room, serving as both the kitchen and the living room, and a set of stairs led to what Paz assumed to be the bedrooms.

A hearty smell wafted through the air and he spotted a pot hanging over the fire. His stomach growled.

“You are here to bring her home, aren’t you?” the man asked excitedly and both he and Din tilted their heads questioningly, making no secret of the fact that they were surprised by his warm welcome.

“We have been waiting for years but you see,” the man explained, gesturing to the outside, “there is no way to send reliable messages out there without them being able to be transferred.”

A woman came through a backdoor, clearly his spouse. She wore an apron and a suspicious look on her face as she spotted the two intruders. But even then, she did not acknowledge them. Instead, she walked over to the steaming pot of soup and set it on the table in the middle of the room.

Paz heard Din’s stomach grumbling and grinned.

“They are here to bring Thalassa home, darling,” the man explained, looking almost relieved and Paz furrowed his brows. He did not put it past the stranger to genuinely be happy for the girl to get back to her family but somehow, he had the feeling that the man’s happiness had a different reason.

“Where can we find her?” Din asked gruffly, shifting his weight on the other foot, “We want to get going as soon as possible.”

“Why should I tell you where she is?” the woman spat, “I cared for her like she was my own, what makes you think I would so easily give her away?”

“Because she deserves to be reunited with her family,” Din stated drily, “And her family wants to see her. They have waited a long time for this to happen.”

Paz held onto himself to not roll his eyes. Din could always be so dramatic if he wanted to and he hoped that it would work. He just wanted to get on with it.

The spouses looked at each other for a long moment and Paz could tell that they were having a conversation without words.

“Alright,” the woman finally relented, before adding, “But I do have one condition.”

“What is it?”

“I want you to take my niece with you. She – she has been stuck on this planet for far longer than she needed to. She is a good girl, she deserves a chance in the big worlds.”

Paz could feel how tense Din was. His first instinct was to disagree. They would have trouble smuggling one princess across the galaxy but a princess and another random stranger? Besides, who knew how this niece would hinder them on their quest to keep the princess safe?

No, that really was a ridiculous idea.

But Din was better at lying than he was and so he agreed with a reluctant nod. Nothing would speak against just taking the princess with them once they found her, right?

“Where is she then?”

“Oh, they’re just outside, working in the gardens,” the older woman says, wiping her hands on her apron, “You can tell them dinner is ready. You’re invited to stay as well, you won’t be able to walk back to your ship in that darkness.”

Both of them nodded and Paz was happy to set down his bag at the door that led outside. He kept his blaster on his hip though and he knew that Din had done the same. His thoughts were rushing with how quickly they could get Thalassa out of here and how long they would have before any of the Imps had an inkling of where she was.

But as he stepped down the stairs all thoughts left his head because … because …

There you were.

Like the lady had said, you were working in the gardens. You were kneeling on the muddy ground, your hands full of wet earth as you cleaned the plants of any weeds. Your companion was next to you, sitting on a small chair and talking to you. She must have said something funny because you threw your head back and laughed.

You – stars, you were beautiful.

How could people not see a princess when they saw you?

Noticing the newcomers, you raised your head and your eyes grew wide as you saw the two big men walk determinedly towards you. You hurried to stand up, wiping your hands clean on an apron. “How can we help you?” you asked carefully.

Paz did not slow his steps. He felt how flushed he was, even the tips of his ears felt hot as he walked towards you. His chest was oddly warm and tight as he looked at you, your eyes big and your mouth opening with another question.

“Your Majesty,” he murmured, lifting your hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. You had wiped them clean on the fabric of your skirt and he felt how soft it was and he heard you gasp and oh stars how would he ever be able to forget this very moment.

The other woman seemed to be more excited rather than surprised and he heard her talking to Din in a high-pitched voice. But what did he care about that woman’s niece when you were there right in front of him?

“Oh I – I’m not,” you said, clearly embarrassed. You held your hand to your chest, the one he had kissed and Paz frowned. Shame filled him when he realised that he had made you feel uncomfortable but then he was also confused by your words. What did you mean?

“If anyone’s a Majesty, that would be me,”the woman behind him said, “It’s been time I would think.”

“We’re here to get you back to your family, Your Majesty,” Din said, throwing an amused look to Paz who was still standing in front of you. He looked from the other woman to you and back again. She – she was the princess? And you were the niece?

“We will start our journey to Coruscant tomorrow,” Din announced, “We got a ticket on a freighter ship booked. It will be a long and dangerous journey, princess, but you will see your family again soon.”

“Well, I should hope so,” Thalassa replied, wholly unimpressed, “It’s been years, I almost thought I’d never leave this forsaken place. Oh, is that dinner I smell?”

The princess walked off without another word, leaving the basket and little chair behind as well as Din and Paz looking at each other and realizing that keeping her safe might not be the issue – enduring her might cost them their last nerves.

Paz watched as you kneeled down again quickly putting some of the vegetables in the basket.

With the basket in your hands, you stood up again, looking at Paz for a long while. He felt how this warm feeling came back and nervously shifted on his feet. He could not figure out what it was about you but he – he wanted more. Wanted you more.

You took a deep breath, seemingly gathering your courage for something, and he resisted the urge to take your hand.

“When, uh, when you said you would go to Coruscant did you mean … me too?” you asked quietly and the small hope in your eyes made his heart clench.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Din opening his mouth. He knew that look on his face, knew that Din would reject your request just like they had planned when your aunt had first voiced that condition. Din would tell you that they would leave only with the princess in tow. And he was right, probably. Fewer people meant less danger.

But you did not look at Din.

You looked at him with a small smile on your lips as if you did not allow yourself to be hopeful yet but as if you wanted to be. Wanted to be hopeful. Wanted to be excited. Wanted to be on this journey.

He wanted to change that.

“Yes,” he said, already feeling Din’s eyes on him. But when you looked at him like that there was no way he could say no, “Yes, you will come with us too, if you’d like, of course.”

*

To no one’s surprise (and Paz’s excitement), you wanted to come along.

Already the preparations for the trip were eating at their nerves. Thalassa was more than annoyed that she was only allowed to take one bag with her. But Din was adamant and surprisingly patient with the demanding princess and soon she had reduced her luggage to only the essential items. It was not like she would need her muddy dresses in the high society of Coruscant.

Paz felt like he could not wait until the trip was over.

The next morning, they were able to borrow speeders from the family which would take them to the capital of the mud planet. From there, they would take one of the big cruiser ships to Naboo.

It was the easiest method to fall under the radar – by blending in with the large crowds that flocked to the core worlds. Paz had worn his best suit for that exact purpose.

The only downside was that the Imps were slowly becoming aware of that loophole and more and more of them infiltrated the standard ways of travelling.

Already in the terminal did Paz spot a few suspicious-looking people. They were most likely bounty hunters but he was not too worried. The ship they were boarding was enormous and so was the number of passengers. The odds of them crossing paths were very slim and so he and Din decided to not change their plans at the last minute.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be intimidated if not scared. Din has assigned you the space on Paz’s speeder and with your arms wrapped around his middle, you had driven hours on end until you had reached the spaceport. He had liked the proximity, the way you had pressed your cheek against his back and how your arms had sometimes tightened around him.

He could very well get used to it.

Now, even as you were in the terminal, ready to board, you stuck to his side. It flustered and pleased him to have you so close that your arm was brushing against his constantly. But he was also relieved to have you this close because everywhere he looked, strangers were walking towards the gates and he did not want to lose you in this chaos.

And so, he made it a point to make himself seem bigger, pushing out his chest and straightening his posture to make sure that none of the other passengers would stray too close.

You sent him a grateful smile.

A few rows before you, he could hear Thalassa’s high-pitched voice complaining about one thing or another and soon he recognized Din’s dark hair in the masses. He wondered if his brother in arms was even listing to her. Her voice was shrill and she had not stopped talking for one moment since leaving the house this morning so Paz found it hard to imagine that Din could just tune it out but he hoped for his sake that he could.

He did not want to imagine the next few days on the ship.

“Do you have the tickets?” you asked quietly beside him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Paz nodded and rummaged in the inside pocket of his jacket. He brought out two data chips, handing you one.

“Stick close,” he advised you, “It can get a little chaotic, getting through the gates.”

With big eyes, you nodded. He watched how you took a deep breath and then you were separated from him, being pushed towards another gate. There was a sea of people trying to get through the electronic controls and Paz did not like this suffocating feeling that came over him

He pushed the chip in and the gate opened with a beep before he was swept up again by the masses making their way into the hull of the ship. But there was something – or rather someone – missing.

Paz turned around, trying to spot you. When he did not see you, he grew panicked. He could care less what happened to Thalassa but you– he wanted to make sure you were safe.

Hoping that it would help, he shouted your name over the chatter of the other passengers. He turned around, fighting his way back to the gates, pushing against people and getting insulted in more languages than he understood.

A soft hand grabbed his and he froze. He whipped his head around and there you were, looking clearly a bit overwhelmed but smiling at him. He breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders dropping. Out of instinct, he grasped your hand tighter, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Ready?” he asked and you nodded with a smile.

Neither of you let go of each other’s hand.

*

Hours later, when the ship finally started taking off, you were settled in the cantina.

The ship had dorms and suites and common rooms, more than anyone could ever count, but Din and Paz had decided that it would be safer for the time being to be in the cantina before figuring out any sleeping arrangements.

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have gotten a suite,” Thalassa hissed, looking around her with disdain. It was clear that she did not appreciate being around ‘commoners’ as she had called them before and Paz wondered how she had lived her life in poverty and still ended up like this.

Fittingly enough, he could see how Din’s jaw clenched, how his eyes flashed with annoyance, and grinned. When he had thought of credits he certainly hadn’t thought of how annoying royalty could be to deal with.

“It would be too obvious, Thalassa,” you explained gently, sitting next to Paz and a datapad in your lap, “They already explained before. It will only be for a few days. Isn’t that right, Paz?”

His heart skipped a beat at you saying his name. You were already looking to him for backup, as if you trusted him with it, and the way his name rolled off your tongue … stars, he would dream of that tonight.

“Very right,” he replied, “Three days at the most, all of this will take less than a week if we’re lucky.”

“And if we’re not?” Thalassa challenged.

“Then it will take longer,” Din hissed.

Paz grinned. This would be a long journey.

*

When dinner had been served, the group had barely moved from their spot in the cantina.

Thalassa had been busy watching some holovid or another on a datapad and the best part about it was that she was silent. Under different circumstances, Paz might have been annoyed by how loud she was playing the holovid, the actor’s shrill voice sounding all the way through the cantina but he could not be bothered to care when the alternative was to explain to her for the hundredth time why she needed to be happy with the lower standard of accommodation.

Din was sitting next to the princess, thoroughly entranced by studying maps or researching new parts for the Crest or something.

But whom Paz was most focused on was you.

You had started to doze off in your seat next to him for a while now and your head kept leaning dangerously to the side, threatening to fall on his shoulder. Paz was tense. Slowly, he shifted closer to you until your cheek rested fully on his shoulder and he heard you sigh in your sleep and then … you shuffled closer to him.

Paz tensed even more, pretending to read the ship’s safety manual in his hands.

He still felt Din’s amused gaze on him though and he furiously tried to ignore the heat that rose in his cheeks. But you were soft and warm against him, completely relaxed now that your head was supported by something.

He wondered if you were cold. It was drafty in the cantina, maybe he should put his jacket over you? He would be fine with just wearing his shirt and the vest but he would have to move and what if that would wake you?

And how would he get you to your sleeping quarters without waking you? Would you be angry at him? He knew some people had trouble falling asleep on spacecrafts and what if you were one of them and you had finally managed to fall asleep only to be awakened by him and then you would not be able to sleep again and –

“Guess it is time to talk about the living arrangements,” Din muttered.

Thalassa put her datapad on the table with a clatter. “Finally,” she sounded exasperated, “I hope at least our sleeping accommodations will be sufficient.”

At the sound of her voice, you stirred next to him, your brows furrowing. Paz thought you looked adorable, like a loth cat that had fallen asleep in the sun with your cheek squished against the tweed of his suit.

“Hey, love,” he whispered, hoping no one heard how that pet name had slipped out of lips so naturally. He rose his hand to your cheek, gently coaxing you awake.

“Huh?” you murmured, blinking up confused at him before a small smile appeared on your lips.

Then you noticed the position you were in and, clearly embarrassed, scooted away from him.

“I am so sorry,” you mumbled, “That was very inappropriate of me.”

Paz wanted to protest and say that he would hold you in his arms for however long you wanted. He would be gladly at your service should you have need of a human pillow again. But even in his lovestruck state, he knew how ridiculous that sounded and so he managed to keep his mouth shut and only smile tightly at you.

“So,” Din pulled the attention on himself, “We have three beds and four people. One private room for two and one bunk bed in the larger dorms. I’d suggest you girls get the room and Paz and I take the bunk.”

“Absolutely not,” Thalassa protested, completely horrified. Paz furrowed his brows confused over why she was this opposed to something that should actually please her. Having a private room had to be one of the points on her secret lists of requirements, he was sure, why in the stars would she not want to stay in one?

“If people are out there searching for me I want to be roomed with someone who can protect me, not – not her, no offence, honey,” she gestured towards you.

“None taken,” you smiled slightly, then turned to Din, “But Thalassa is right. If people are hunting her like you say they are, then – maybe I should sleep in the dorm? I – surely, it won’t be thatbad.”

Everything in Paz’s stomach turned at the idea of you in one of the big dorms. This was the first time you had ever left your planet and you thought they would throw you into a dorm with a bunch of rowdy passengers? No way.

“Well, then how do we proceed?” Din asked, throwing a knowing look his way, “I guess it is best if Paz would be in the dorms with you, he is intimidating enough that people wouldn’t want to approach you.”

“Intimidating?” you asked confused, turning to look at Paz, “I – I don’t think he’s intimidating at all.”

Paz was positive that he had never been this flustered in his life. You didn’t think him to be intimidating. You were not intimidated by him. You were comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to even share a bunk with him.

“Is that so?” Din asked, hardly able to hide his grin, “Well, isn’t that interesting, Paz?”

Shut up, Paz thought, too focused on how you were still tucked into his side, the sleep barely gone from your eyes, Shut up and let me enjoy this.

*

The walk to the dorm was long and dark and for you, probably quite scary.

Paz was convinced that he had already witnessed at least two spice deals and you weren’t even halfway to the dorm. He was happy about it though because he was not sure what would have happened if anyone thought you had noticed their illegal wrongdoings.

But you were probably unaware of it.

You seemed to make sure never to stray too far from him or the path that you had set out for yourself, your hesitant footsteps echoing around the labyrinth that was the ship. He could see how tightly you were clutching your bag to your chest as he walked beside you and it took everything in him not to put his arm around your waist.

Where did this endless need to touch you come from?

When the door to the dormitory came into view, Paz took a deep breath, shouldered his bag. The weight of his blaster against his hop was a comfort as he braced himself for the worst. Dorms on ships these big … they could be bad.

“We’re bed 32B,” he told you and you nodded your understanding as the door slid open with a creak.

It was a huge room and it seemed endless. Paz could not even see the furthest wall from where he was standing at the entrance. But no matter how big the room seemed, it was absolutely packed with people of all ways of life and it was loud.

You backed up into him, your back bumping against his chest as a sound of fear escaped you.

“It’ll be alright, mesh’la,” he promised quietly, his hands finding your hips as he gently guided you forward. There was a resistance in your steps as he saw you watch your new surroundings. There were several bet games going on and from further down the room he was sure he heard some illegal loth cat races and even more angry shouts at a commotion just to your right.

The bunks that lined the walls each had four levels and Paz was somewhat relieved to find that your assigned bed was on the third one. Far enough up to avoid getting pulled into any of the conflicts. Far enough out of reach that he would have enough time to react if someone tried to come for you.

“I hope you don’t get claustrophobic too easily,” he muttered as he spotted how dark and small it looked. You might be able to sit up fully but he was certainly not.

Before you could step towards the ladder, however, a bright red arm stopped you, blocking your way. You squeaked and stepped right back into Paz’s chest whose arm came around your waist, holding you to him. He tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating at having you this close. Instead, he eyed the man in front of you who grinned confidently.

The alien’s eyes roamed over you slowly, dragging over every single inch of your body and Paz sneered, pulling you closer.

“Oh, where did you get this beauty, Mando?” the stranger asked, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he leered at you, “How much for a night of entertainment, girly? I promise I pay well.”

Paz did not even blink as he pulled his blaster and held it against the man’s forehead. “Touch her and you are dead,“ he growled, arm tensing around you.

Instantly, all eyes in the room focussed on the three of you and the charged weapon but he could not bring himself to care. His eyes were cold as he stared the man down, his other and still on you and he noticed how your shoulders relaxed.

The man shifted uneasily on his feet before he lifted his hands in a gesture of peace. “Alright, alright,” he muttered, taking a few steps backwards, “She’s yours, I get it, I’m backing off, you see, Mando? No need to point that thing at me.”

Paz did not lower the blaster until the man had disappeared into the darkness of the room. Soon the other passengers started minding their own business again, the chatter picking back up and the hissing of the loth cats sounding above everything else.

“C’mon,” he muttered to you, gently pushing you towards the ladder, “That one’s ours.”

You climbed into the bunk before him and scooted to the very edge of it to make space for him as well. Just as he had suspected, the bunk was too low for him and he needed to duck his head before he could even thinkof crawling into the small space.

The bunk was outfitted like most bunks he had slept in, a curtain to pull close during the night, a net at the side to store a small bag or other belongings and a dim night lamp. He pulled the curtain close immediately, fastening it at the side so no one from the outside could open it easily. Then he switched on the small lamp, flooding the little bunk with warm light.

The first thing both of you did was take off your shoes and putting them at the very end of the bed where a small shelf was located. Paz decided to store his backpack there as well. It did not necessarily feel very safe but he also did not want you to feel uncomfortable. The bunk was slim as it was.

“I – I still need to change,” you noted, shifting in what he now recognized as discomfort.

Paz felt his cheeks heating up at the implication.

“I’ll turn around and, uh, let you change,” he decided and turned his back to you. The only problem was that in his haste to offer you some privacy, Paz forgot that the bunk was not built for people of his size and smashed his head against the ceiling.

“Ouch!” he cursed, “Kriffin’ bantha –“ he grumbled, holding his head and hearing your giggle behind him.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to bring out between your quiet laughter, “It just looked so funny.”

He only grumbled, his head still pounding but his heart fluttering because you sounded so happy. It was lovely.

He took the chance to slip off his suspenders and unbutton his dress shirt, only leaving him in his Henley and his pants. It would be comfortable enough for a night’s sleep, he supposed.

When he felt you shift and rustle beside him, he took it as a sign that it was safe to turn around. This time, he ducked his head, making sure to not even come near the hard ceiling. You were dressed in your night shift, fiddling with your hands in front of your chest.

“Does – does it hurt very badly?” you asked guiltily, “Maybe we can find a bacta pill or something?”

Even in the dim light of the bunk, Paz could see the unease and guilt on your face. And he rushed to make you feel better.

“No worries, mesh’la,” he assured you, “It was just a bump and I suppose from the outside it must’ve been pretty funny.”

You smiled shyly at him, “It was and … if it makes you feel better, the next time I bump my head, you’re allowed to laugh as much as you want.”

With that, you settled down under the blankets, your cheek hitting the pillow as you expectantly looked up at him and patted the spot next to yours. “Aren’t you going to sleep too?”

He had no words. Not only were you smiling at him like that but now you also wanted him to – to really sleep beside you. No staying on top of the covers. No sitting at the end of the bed and looking out for trouble. You wanted him to sleep.

He laid down, turning so his back was towards the curtain and he was facing you. “It’s, uh it’s a tight fit,” he murmured trying to arrange his arms somehow. You smiled, carefully taking his hand and stars your skin was soft and put it behind you on your waist.

Immediately, his fingers spread out on your back, pulling you closer. The fabric of your nightdress was soft under his fingertips and he wondered if your skin felt like that too. He heard you take a deep breath and then he felt your fingers on the exposed skin of his chest, playing with the buttons of his Henley.

His eyes fluttered closed, enjoying your soft touches on him.

“Are you comfortable?” he whispered, your head tucked into his chest, “the blanket’s not very thick I could try and see if they have some more on -“

“It’s alright,” you cut him off, smiling up at him, “I’m – you – you’re very warm, but what is that?”

You shifted again and he felt something hard brush against his belly. He chuckled and put his finger to his lips to shush you with a conspiratory grin. Lifting the blanket, he revealed the blaster between the two of you.

Your eyes widened.

“Safety’s on,” he revealed, “but I don’t want to take any chances.”

You shuddered, “I’m not used to all this – this danger,” you confessed, your finger brushing against his chest and he made sure his hand didn’t flex too much on your back.

“I worry about it,” you said, “Of the things that could happen. Thalassa and I – we’ve never been anywhere but home and now this – this is so much.”

“It’ll be alright,” he promised quietly, “it’ll be alright. Just rest and as soon as you can blink we’re one day closer to Naboo.”

“W-will you be there when I wake up?”

“Yes.”

[elisaphoenix13]

When One Works Hard

Commission request from @daisypoisonpen. It was inspired by a TikTok she found and I thought the idea was hilarious. Hope you like it!

Peter knew something was wrong when he got home and fell back onto his bed with his Starkpad when he got home and the internet didn't work. He even tried using the mobile data but that failed to work too. His immediate assumption was that Harley did something, and he got up to walk to Harley's room to confront his brother, but found the older teen looking just as confused. William was sitting on Harley's bed with a book so Peter wasn't sure if he was aware of the issue yet or not, but he was going to hear about it now if he wasn't.

"Hey, did you do something to the internet?" Peter asks and Harley glances up at him from his desk.

"No. I was actually about to come ask you."

Peter shakes his head. "I just got home. Maybe Dad-"

"Dad's not home." William interrupts. "He's had meetings since this morning."

Peter opens his mouth to say something but then he hears small footsteps walking towards him and he leans out of the doorway a bit to find Diana. When she joins him, she holds her Starkpad up to him in confusion.

"Peter, it's not working. Can you fix it?" She asks.

"We're having problems too. The internet is down." He explains. "Maybe Mom knows what's going on."

"Mom doesn't deal with electronics." Harley points out and William closes his book. He wouldn't be getting any reading done until the internet problem was fixed at this rate.

"It wouldn't hurt to ask him anyway. Since Dad's not home, maybe Scott can at least take a look."

Harley snorts. "Dad would break his fingers."

"And Quill will break Dad." Peter says as his brothers get up and follow him out of the room. "And then Mom will find a way to make another time loop and break Quill a million times."

William mutters something about the family being a little too overprotective and psychotic which makes Harley laugh. An angry celestial was very dangerous, but Peter would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit curious how a time looped battle between Quill and Stephen would go. The Time Stone may no longer exist in a physical sense, but Diana possessed its powers so Stephen would probably find a way to use them through her. If he were desperate enough.

Peter shakes the thought away as the four siblings make it down to the living room where they find Stephen in an armchair and calmly sipping tea. At least it looked calm, but the kids knew better. There was no physical manifestation of the angry aura around the sorcerer, but they knew him well enough to know when Stephen was pissed. Another dead giveaway was the fact that Athena was sitting regally by his feet instead of laying, which meant she could sense Stephen's ire and was reacting accordingly. She wouldn't attack them, but she knew now wasn't the time to be lazing about.

Harley nudges Peter closer and he glares back at his older brother before looking back at Stephen. "Hey, Mom? Do you know why the internet isn't working?"

Stephen takes another sip of his tea, looking up at the kids sharply and making them squirm uncomfortably. Even Valerie, who Peter just noticed was a few feet away having a tea party with Levi, was glancing over in their direction nervously. Of course she was also in tune with Stephen, so she also knew something was up, but Peter would bet money she didn't know what. At least not yet. The bottom line was that someone did something really bad, but it couldn't have been Valerie because she would never do anything to anger Stephen and his fury wasn't directed at her in any way.

"Stop right there." Stephen suddenly bites out and the kids all flinch until they realize that Thomas suddenly appeared next to them, holding Lucy.

It still boggled Peter's mind that Stephen was able to see and time things just right whenever Thomas or Pietro were running around. For the most part though, he chalked it up to the fact that Stephen was Mom and moms knew everything. It was amusing to see Pietro adjust to things as quickly as he did, but that was probably because he was tired of being caught by the back of his shirt when he was running where he wasn't supposed to.

"I was being careful! I swear!" Thomas says as Lucy's laughter starts to taper off into giggles. For some reason she loved it when he ran around with her at full speed.

Stephen directs his attention to all of the kids again and leans forward to set his mug down on the coffee table. It clattered loudly when ceramic met the glass surface and there was even a brief screech that made Peter wince. The others didn't react so he figured his spider hearing picked it up.

"I don't ask for much," Stephen starts and folds his hands in front of his face with his elbows on his knees. "I feed you, clothe you, take care of you when you're sick, and countless other things...but even I have my limits." He says.

All of the kids were standing ramrod straight by now. Peter didn't have to look to know that. They rarely saw Stephen seethe like this, especially when it was directed at them.

"I had a very long day of dimension hopping and I was looking forward to getting home and sitting down with some tea." The sorcerer continues. "You know what else I was looking forward to?"

The kids remain silent.

"My triple chocolate cake. You all know chocolate is one of the few things besides my children that I indulge in and I assumed you all knew better to ask when it comes to my chocolate. So what I want to know is...who ate it?" Stephen asks as he sits back in the chair.

Peter finally glanced at his siblings, because he knew he didn't eat it, but he was met with the same questioning and confused glances. Like Stephen said, they all knew better than to eat something that wasn't theirs, especially chocolate. They all knew it was one of the things their mom loved and they all liked seeing Stephen enjoy something because he didn't seem to enjoy a whole lot.

"I... don't think any of us ate it." William says softly.

"Maybe it was one of the team?" Thomas points out.

"Well until they step forward to take responsibility and they replace my cake, the internet will remain down." Stephen says.

Peter frowns. "Why don't I just get you another?"

"Because I don't want the culprit to think they got away with it. As I said before, I don't ask for a lot and someone had the nerve--" Stephen takes a breath. "Either you can help find out who did eat it, or you can join Valerie's tea party."

Athena seemed to like the idea as she finally left Stephen's side to join the little girl at her table and accept the biscuit the cloak offered her. Peter loved his sister and joined her tea parties sometimes, but today he was not in the mood. He had homework to do for one of his college classes anyway and he needed the internet so he vouched to help find the chocolate thief. Diana and William decided to play with her though, so it was up to Harley and Peter to figure out who was stupid enough to eat Mom's cake.

Thomas went back to entertaining Lucy, but if the internet wasn't back up by the time they both got tuckered out, he would probably help them.

Their search turned out to be harder than they expected. Either someone lied, or everyone they asked really was innocent. They first asked Scott and Quill, but Scott was panicking about a deadline with a security project he needed to send to Luis, and Quill basically spoke for both of them.

"Look, I know we have our moments, but even we're not stupid enough to eat your mom's chocolate in whatever form it might be."

Quill had a point, so they moved on after Cassie offered to help. Everyone else basically said the same thing. None of them were stupid enough to eat it, but some of them were a little miffed that the internet was down until further notice. Harley tried asking Friday if she knew anything or if she could turn the WiFi back on, but surprisingly, she didn't know who the thief was and Victor was currently overriding her controls over the WiFi. So the boys had no choice but to go back upstairs and entertain themselves the old fashioned way. Board games, card games, tea party with Valerie…

They tried the tv or offline electronics but Stephen shut those down too. Peter didn't know the sorcerer could be this petty, but whoever the culprit ended up being, he was going to web them to the ceiling with his extra strength web fluid. Although, he supposed the good thing that came out of this was that he spent some quality time with his siblings over board games. He, Harley, Thomas, and Cassie got into a really intense game of Uno, Diana and Valerie continued their tea party with Levi and the pets --Tibbs had joined for treats at some point--, and William bravely put a puzzle together with Stephen while Lucy napped in her playpen.

It was nearing dinner time when Tony got home and Stephen and William were in the middle of making a pasta dish. Stephen was still irked and even Tony could sense his spouse's irritation when he walked into the kitchen.

"Interesting to come home and not see the kids on some sort of electronic device." Tony greets and kisses Stephen. "Hi Duchess. What's wrong?"

"Until further notice, I've shut down all electronics and the internet." Stephen huffs and Tony shrugs.

"You know what? I could use the break. I'll even have an excuse if Pepper sends me twenty thousand emails."

The two oldest boys look up from their game and balk at him. They were hoping Stephen would have calmed down when Tony got home, or that their father would at least get the internet back up, but they were typical parents. If one made a punishment, the other enforced it.

"But I have homework!" Peter exclaims.

"I do too!" Harley says.

Tony takes off his sunglasses. "Well you should have thought about that before you did... whatever it is you did." He looks at Stephen. "What did they do?"

"I'm not just punishing our children. It affects the team too." Stephen says and picks up the pot to drain the pasta. "Someone ate my cake and until they fess up, no one is getting anything done."

"Your triple chocolate cake that you had in the fridge?" Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! I was very much looking forward to it after the long day I had yesterday and this morning--" Stephen rants until Tony interrupts him.

"You mean the triple chocolate cake you ate two days ago while we were in bed and watching a movie together?"

There was a pregnant pause with only the sound of water draining from the colander until Stephen slowly set the empty pot aside and turned to regard his husband. All of the kids were staring at the sorcerer at this point, and considering the blush that was creeping onto Stephen's cheeks, it was safe to assume that he had completely forgotten.

"I...um...that does sound familiar now that you mention it." Stephen mumbles.

Tony chuckles. "Oh, honey…the mom in you is on autopilot that you're starting to forget your indulgences." He leans forward and gives the younger man another peck on the lips. "Tell you what, I'll order you another piece so you can have it after dinner."

Stephen coughs and turns to look at the kids and clears his throat in embarrassment. "I believe I owe you all an apology...so I'm sorry. Victor, you can turn everything back on."

"Right away, Doctor." The AI responds.

"Considering what you do for us, I think we can forgive you." Peter says with a smile. "If any of us did what you do, we'd probably forget something like that too."

"But we have learned something from this!" Harley says and Stephen raises an eyebrow.

"And what would that be?"

"How petty Mom can get over chocolate." Thomas answers.

Stephen actually chuckled a bit at that, and true to Tony's promise, he got another piece of his triple chocolate cake. Which he enjoyed with a hot cup of tea after getting the girls into bed and the boys were occupied with homework. Peter did hear a quiet moan which was evidence enough that the sorcerer was enjoying his chocolate, but knew it would escalate so he closed the door for the blessed sound proofing.

He knew his parents after all.

[isurrendertoclones]

I woke up with some angsty Young!Boba and Jango Vignette Thoughts the other day and my spouse said I should break other people’s hearts too 😅

I only use one Mando’a word in this one—buir, which means ‘parent’

*

“Pwime!”

“What’s he saying?”

“He is saying ‘Prime.’ It is common for human children at this developmental stage to struggle with that particular phoneme. We have seen it with the others. It is to be expected. It is not a sign of delay—”

The man shook his head. “I understand that,” he said impatiently. “Why is he calling me that?”

“You are his Prime—the source of his genetic material.”

The man shook his head. “Nah. I don’t like that.” He knelt in front of Alpha. “Can you say ‘buir’?” He said it slowly and carefully.

“B’weeuh!” Alpha repeated, delighted.

The man recoiled slightly. “It’s too young, still. Give it a few more years before I decide.”

“Of course, Jango.”

The door whooshed shut behind him. Alpha held out his arms—the man’s face was nicer to look at than his usual caretakers’—but he didn’t come back. Alpha cried and, as usual, didn’t stop until he’d exhausted himself and curled up to sleep with the salt of it drying on his face.

*

Alpha knew it was weakness, pure weakness, but he couldn’t help being nervous. He knew how to keep his face Kaminoan-blank, how to school his posture—formal, but not so stiff as to betray himself—and keep his hands from curling into fists, but he couldn’t convince his heart to slow. At least Jango wouldn’t be able to sense it. Maybe he could fool him into thinking he wasn’t afraid.

Maybe Jango expected him to be afraid.

His whole life had led up to this moment. If he wasn’t careful, this moment would lead to the end of his life—if Jango didn’t have a use for him, the Kaminoans certainly wouldn’t.

The door opened. Jango was, still, older than even his oldest brothers, but it was the same face. That’s how I’ll look one day. If I live that long. It seemed, in that moment, with Jango frowning down at him, unlikely. “Sir.”

Jango laughed, looking over Alpha’s shoulder at the Kaminoan behind him, at some private joke Alpha wasn’t in on. “Better.”

Better than what? Alpha had no idea.

Jango turned and left and Alpha’s heart sank.

“Well? Hurry up, don’t make me wait for you.”

Alpha practically ran after him.

Jango’s quarters were as bright and cold and curved as everything else on Kamino, but there were little things that didn’t belong, standing out like…mistakes, but the opposite. He couldn’t make them fit. He loved them.

Jango settled himself on the couch, nodding at Alpha. “Look around. This is your home now, after all.”

My home. No, that was too much. “Thank you, sir.”

Jango only nodded, looking almost bored already.

Alpha was immediately drawn to a brightly coloured blanket. When Jango made no indication for him to stop, he reached out one hand and touched it. It was soft, flowing through his fingers like water. He’d never felt anything that soft. He wanted to wrap it around himself, feel that softness on his arms, his face.

“It’s from Concord Dawn,” Jango told him. “Our—my homeworld.”

“Not Mandalore?” Alpha asked boldly.

“Nah.” Jango shook his head. “It’s older than that, since before I went to Mandalore.”

Concord Dawn, Alpha repeated silently to himself. Homeworld. It was the first time he’d heard of this place. He hadn’t known that Jango wasn’t from Mandalore originally.

There were more of these out-of-place objects, and Alpha went through them one by one until Jango made it clear he was done explaining.

Alpha had his own little room in Jango’s—in their—quarters. The blanket was softer than the ones he was used to, dark blue instead of sterile white, but not as soft and bright as the one from their homeworld—and why not theirs? He’d never been there, might never be—though now he wanted to—but he was Jango and Jango was him.

He had his own light switch and he could dim and brighten the lights himself rather than them being on a preprogrammed, ‘optimized’ schedule. He flicked them off and on a few times until he heard Jango clear his throat. He closed the door and turned off the lights and curled up on his new blanket. It smelled like distant worlds.

*

“Your name is Boba now.”

Alpha let out a long—silent—sigh of relief. That meant he would stay. Why would he bother naming him otherwise? Besides, there already were Alphas, lots of them. He’d trained with them for a while until they’d gotten too big and strong for him to keep up, and they’d moved him down to be with younger cadets. When he wasn’t alone. Or with the Kaminoans. “Yes, sir.”

Jango frowned at him, and Alpha could barely keep himself from hiccuping with the fear that he was about to take it back just as quickly. “Nah. Call me dad.”

“Yes…dad,” Alpha—Boba—repeated.

Jango smiled, as rare a sight as the sun breaking through the endless Kaminoan storm clouds. “Good boy.”

*

He wasn’t always a ‘good boy.’ Then Jango would march him down to the clone—the clone trooper—levels and make him press his face against the glass and look at the boys his age but also double and remind him he could be replaced.

“They’re faster and stronger than you.” Jango smiled, cold and dark as the space between the stars. He put his hand on Boba’s shoulder, his fingers digging in. Boba didn’t make a sound. He didn’t dare. “Not as smart, though. Right?”

Boba nodded. They told him he hadn’t been bred to be obedient, but he obeyed. He didn’t have a choice.

When he really kriffed up, he had to turn and face the other way, the worse way, where his brothers/parents/sons hung, tiny and fragile, suspended in transparisteel and a nutrient broth made, he knew, at least in part of the ‘rejected’ clones. Boba had nightmares about that, but he didn’t dare scream himself awake. Even in his dreams, he had to be in control of himself.

“I could pick any one of them. Any of them would make a better son than you.”

It happened less and less as Boba got older, as he learned what Jango expected about absolutely everything and trained himself in secret whenever his dad was out hunting. He wasn’t as strong or fast and he grew so kriffing slowly and he could feel his dad’s disappointment about that even though he’d wanted an ‘unaltered’ clone, but he was stubborn and determined and he didn’t want to be taken away and dissolved down to nothing to make his replacement. Maybe he wasn’t smarter after all—the Kaminoans had offered to flash train him as well, but Jango had refused—but he was motivated.

*

Then they would have moments—moments—where they understood each other completely, when they were in perfect sync, and Boba really did feel like his father’s clone, like he was worthy of sitting there beside him in Slave I’s cockpit rather than stuck back on Kamino with the others. And Jango laughed and praised him and tousled his hair—and, oh, how Boba lived for his touch, for a kind word. The others didn’t get that. And Jango told him he was clearly made of the best of his genetic material—and Boba knew that must be true, because there were so many others to compare to.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[teleportationmagic]

Inspired by this post by @muffinlance

Aika slipped into the Princess’s room.

The news that she had an incurable illness had not been an easy one to take, she’d admit it. It shouldn’t have been a surprise - she was old, and her limbs were already failing her - but it’s still been something that had burned in the core of her stomach, and she’d vomited a fair few times.

Weeks left on her clock. Week, if she was unlucky and Aika had never been terribly lucky.

In fairness, talking to the princess was more likely than not to shorten that prediction, but Aika wasn’t sure that a couple weeks would make such a difference. She had no children who’s needs she’d need to take care of, no spouse to say goodbye to. Her family was a few close friends who knew what she was doing, if not the specifics. They’d tried to talk her out of it, but Aika had made her decision, and she knew she’d never change her mind. If she didn’t return they knew not to ask around, that’d be far to dangerous for them and that they were safe with their lack of links back to her.

She’s dressed in her traditional wear - servant clothes. The princess doesn’t think much of her when she walks in, only keeping her hawk-sharp eyes on her as she cleans up her room. It’s impeccable, really, and all she needs to do is the regular dusting and mopping. The task is done quickly, something she’d done a million times before.

Her heartbeat is steady. Her heartbeat is surprisingly steady considering she’s likely signing her death warrant, or at least a prison sentence. But then again, what is a few weeks to the decades that the Princess will rule over the Fire Nation?

And as odd as it is, there is also a well of sympathy for the child - Aika has watched the girl grow up. There were things a child ought to have, people that should be there for them. And Lady Ursa has tried her best, Agni bless her soul, but Azula had been her fathers child through and through, for all the good it’d done her.

Maybe Aika was a bit of an optimist, but granting the child a hope of another parent certainly couldn’t hurt, could it?

When her chore is done, she shuts the door. The princess’s eyes grow stronger on her back and she asks “Why are you here?”

Aika has never really been one to beat around the bush. “You have a soulmark.”

And the Princess laughs. Aika waits for her to stop, before continuing. “It’s on the back of your head under your hair.”

And her laugh dies off. “I’m certain I would know if I had a soulmate. I have no need for one. The real question, I suppose, is why you would try to deceive me in a way so obviously false?”

“You wouldn’t know because your mother went through great pains to hide it.” Anika’s voice is shockingly steady. “Mostly from your father. You remember what happened to your brother, yes?”

Her smile tightens. “I am not like my brother, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“Perhaps.” Aika isn’t going to say she knows either member of the royal family well enough. “But your brother is not the only person to have a soulmark.” Aika is sure of it, shed see the bright blue and green when cleaning the girl’s hair back when she was only as high as her knee.

“Let’s say I believe you.” The Princess drawls. “Why would Ursa hide the mark from me?”

“When you were young she was afraid you’d tell your father. You were always a clever child, but she was still anxious - after Zuko, she had a fair reason to be.” Agni knows what that child’s been through - it’s been a miracle that his Father has banished him, a miracle dressed in the ugliest garments a miracle could find.

“And when I was older?”

“I’m not quite sure. Your mother never kept my confidence - the only reason I knew was because I had been the one to wash your hair when she was gone.” Ursa had sworn her to secret - there had been a lot of money that she’d pressed into her hands. Aika has refused it, since she was satisfied monetarily, but Ursa had insisted and she ended up putting the money to use in several charities for wounded soldiers coming back home.

The princess’s eyes were heavy on her. “You forgot to clean my bathroom.“

Aika hadn’t. Aika tilted her head and walked into the princess’s bathroom with the mop. She could see her through the door, but she tried her best to make sure it wasn’t obvious she was peeking.

The Princess was languid as she walked to the mirror. Had Aika not seen her grow up, she might have missed the tension in her frame, the slight hesitation in her steps.

She looks almost afraid. She’d never seen her as such before.

Another mirror is rolled behind her, and she pulls her topknot out. Hair falls down her back and fingers move through the strands, before she takes a half step to the side and blocks Aika’s view.

He hands are almost too still when she steps back into Aika’s line of sight. Aika keeps her head down before she asks “Who else knows?”

“No one.” She lies. Truthfully, there were a handful of other women who’d worked with her, but Aika was not quite willing to risk their lives. She wonders if the princess will see through her - it’s possible. The girl had always been very clever. But Aika has very little she could be threatened with, and the people who the girl could hurt her through were all too distantly connected with her for the princess to find them.

Her golden eyes land on hers. “Leave the castle. I will discover who tattooed this on me, and when I do, I have no need to refrain from coming after you or yours.”

Aika takes the mop and slips out quietly. Once the door closes, she sprints. She’d hang around the outer edges of the city for her last few weeks. Hopefully the princess wouldn’t see her then, but Aika wanted to spend her last days in her mother’s home, near Muyumi and Kaiko.

Meanwhile, a woman deep into the Earth Kingdom countryside puts her children to sleep. One of them is hers by blood, the others spirit children. The youngest of them gives her a dazed warm smile, while the older two would probably like to stay up a while longer, but it was far too late for them to continue to pour over their books. They still take hugs from her grudgingly as she places a warm kiss on their foreheads, before blowing the flame out and slipping out of their room.

When she falls asleep, she rubs the mark on the back of her head. She’d seen it enough times to have it memorized, the bright blue flame framed with parsley and thyme, and she wonders where in this world her fire-child was.

[devildom-dedicated-daydreams]

Cheating Bastard and Puppy Brother (Cheater!Lucifer x Reader x Mammon) Part 5

Part 4

“Mammon, you stupid idiot!” 

Asmodeus, Satan and Leviathan surrounded Mammon in the living room. The victim of a surprise smacking, Mammon rubbed the back of his head and sent a glare at the three.

“The hell is your problem?” He demanded.

“What’re you doing taking advantage of MC?” Asmodeus leaned over with narrow eyes. “She just broke up with Lucifer!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I--” Before Mammon could finish, he was soon facing the news article with a picture of him and MC. 

“What’s this?”

“You tell me,” Asmodeus said as he almost threw the D.D.D. at him. “This is an all-time low, even for you. I can’t believe you would do this to MC--hey! We’re not finished!” 

The brothers tried to catch the fleeing Mammon but he was too fast for anyone that wasn’t Lucifer. In an instant he was banging on your door.

You opened up frenzied, wondering if there was some fire or other emergency. Mammon clamped down on your shoulders and pushed himself inside, “I swear I didn’t know!”

“Huh?”

“I was trying to help!”

“Mammon--”

“If I knew this was going to happen I would’ve been more careful, I’m sorry, MC! I’m really sorry!”

“Wait a moment, Mammon,” you sighed, holding onto his hands. He shut his mouth and took deep breaths. “Now,” you said, “explain everything carefully. From top to finish.” 

He described what happened but when you opened your D.D.D. you found the article has already been blocked through orders from the student council. You chuckled, “Oh, so it’s like this.”

“You’re not … mad?”

“Of course not. If anything, I’m amused. I’ve been here for some time now but it didn’t really occur to me how similar demons are with humans when it comes to gossip.” You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Y-you’re serious?”

“Yes, so you can stop worrying now.”

Mammon was relieved, but then he saw the ashen look on your face and he quickly spun around to meet his older brother’s rigid form.

Lucifer stood outside your bedroom door still in his R.A.D. uniform, presumably having just arrived from his meeting with Diavolo. Ignoring Mammon, he called out your name as he stepped inside, but then he paused and his eyes fell over. You realized that Mammon had grabbed your hand. Embarrassed, you gently shook him off. Mammon bit his cheek in an attempt to hide his hurt. 

“So it’s true …” Lucifer mumbled but it was too low for you to hear.

You wanted this over with so you cut to the chase and asked, “Did you need something, Lucifer?”

Lucifer stared at Mammon’s lonesome hand for a few seconds more before looking back at you. “We need to talk.” With his tone, the words sounded more like a command than the plea a cheater should have said. However, you were more or less used to it. 

Calmly and with your eyes meeting his, you replied: “Unless it’s an emergency, which I doubt, I’m afraid I have time to spare.” Your choice of words were polite but the two demons were taken aback by the mocking way they were delivered. 

Lucifer’s fists clenched by his sides. Mammon’s golden gaze stayed on his brother, his own limbs itching with anticipation. He couldn’t win against Lucifer but he could still protect you. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the House of Lamentation, the other five brothers waited with bated breaths. 

No one expected Lucifer to actually cut his meeting with Diavolo early, way too early for them to prepare reinforcement spells to keep the house in one piece. Just remembering Lucifer’s dark face and his silence when greeted nervously by the others had them shaking inside. Moreover, Mammon was with you in your bedroom right now. If it were days ago that would’ve been fine but now …

Satan rubbed his temples. Who didn’t know about Mammon’s feelings? That was a rhetorical question. Everyone knew. Well, everyone but the one person Mammon desperately wanted to know. You were too in love with Lucifer and Mammon never did make a move when he found out. Mammon was many things but he still cared for his family, Satan begrudgingly admitted. 

But now the situation has changed and their torpe brother decided to make a move at the wrong time, in the wrong place. 

“Can you hear them?” Belphegor asked Levi, who had been trying to listen in on the conversation with his magic.

However, the otaku shook his head. “Either Lucifer or Mammon is blocking me.” 

Beelzebub tore open a new bag of chips. He’d devoured all five boxes of Honey Buddha chips you brought from the human realm. Satan noticed that after Lucifer’s affair, your alleged breakup, and now Mammon’s “scandalous courtship,” served to increase Beel’s appetite to record-breaking levels. 

On the other hand, another person was nibbling relentlessly. Satan reached for Asmo’s wrist to stop him from eating more of his proudly painted nails. Satan thrust his thumb at Beel and said to Asmo, “If you want to bite on something do it on food.”

Asmo’s normally glowing face was drained of color and he said nothing as he took a seat next to Beel. 

The air around them was heavy and what’s worse was that they didn’t know what exactly they were afraid of. Brotherly quarrels were normal but with you in the picture … Satan sighed and flipped through his book of spells. They should start chanting protection spells on themselves and on the house. 

After a gruelling wait, footsteps were heard and you entered the living room with Mammon behind you. There were no signs of Lucifer, or a fight. The five breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

You cleared your throat. “I forgot to buy the ingredients for tonight. I’m sorry but you’ll have to wait a little longer for dinner, Beel.” 

Beel almost choked. Belphegor quickly stepped in and said, “It’s fine, MC. We can order something.”

“Or eat out,” Asmo suggested.

You strained a smile. “Don’t be silly. I thought everyone’s been tight on cash this week?”

Yes, because Lucifer has become twice--no--ten thousand times the Devil after your breakup, was what each brother thought.

“I’ll go buy groceries now.” You turned on your heel before they could protest. Mammon, as always, pratted after you. 

However, you stopped him as you reached the door. “I’ll be okay, Mammon.” The sentence had the underlying implication of: Don’t come with me.

“But it’s already dark out.”

“Thanks for the concern but … ” You tilted your head to face him, “I’ll be fine.”

He wanted to protest some more, but seeing the sheen of tears on your eyes, he relented and you left the house on your own.

You stuffed your hands into your coat, free to think without any distractions. But no more than two meters away from the estate, you stopped walking. You shouted upward, “I know you’re there.”

A strong, chilling wind blew past, almost knocking you off your feet. But you balanced yourself before you hit a familiar chest. You looked up at Lucifer.

His lips were a straight line but his eyes were drowning in all sorts of emotions. You sighed. You figured it would take more than a simple “no” and a biting retort to get someone like him off your tail.

“Let me talk, MC. Let me explain,” He said and you wanted to laugh, because for a long time now, all he’s ever done was tell you what to do. At first it was appealing but now his tone just grated you.

“Okay.” You stared straight at him before adding, “but I’m not doing this for you. I deserve an explanation. But first, I deserve an apology.” 

“MC--”

“I deserve an apology,” you repeated firmly.

He looked at you with those clouded red eyes. You used to think that you could read him well, but now you weren’t so sure. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true, because as minutes passed in complete silence, you realized one irrefutable truth: you weren’t important. Maybe on some level you were, but not as a lover. Maybe you two would have been better off friends. 

Seeing that he wasn’t going to talk, you sighed and stepped forward.

“MC, wait,” he grabbed your arm. “I … that night I … I didn’t sleep with her on my own.” When he realized that you didn’t understand he explained: “She slipped me an aphrodisiac. I didn’t do it because I wanted to.”

Your heart dropped. But for different reasons than you expected.

“Is that true?”

“Oh.” You were speechless and you truly didn’t know what to feel. 

“I didn’t do it on purpose. I would never sleep with anyone who wasn’t my spouse, that’s a complete dishonor. Believe me.” His hold on you was almost painful but you had a difficult time paying attention.

“Lucifer, I … ” You choked. “I’m sorry that happened to you, I don’t know what to say.”

He exhaled, “Don’t fret, love. I’m all right.” He pulled you into his embrace. “But now that this issue has been cleared can we please make up?”

You were sorry about what happened truly but now that he was asking you to get back together, you were completely lost.

You stayed in his arms, motionless, before pulling away and meeting his gaze again. “I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

Lucifer’s entire body stiffened.

“We can’t get back together.”

“I deserve an apology.” When you spoke those words you weren’t thinking about the affair. You thought back to those lonely nights spent waiting for him only to fall asleep and wake up alone, you thought about sitting in a restaurant alone for hours on end only to go home hungry and with literal demons shooting you looks of pity. You recalled the myriad of excuses you thought of for him when he never even bothered to apologize or explain himself. 

You wiped your nose and said with the softest smile, “Goodbye, Lucifer.” And with that you walked away. 

Lucifer was too shocked to move. 

*

You paid the cashier and carried two heavy bags worth of groceries out the store, but surprisingly you felt like skipping. Your chest felt lighter than it ever had been for the past few months. Earlier you hid inside a the store’s public toilet and cried everything out. And truthfully, shopping was a good way to distract yourself. 

You were humming on the way back home when two serpents, both thick as tree bark and longer than 20 feet blocked your path. One of them, with beet-red scales slapped your bags away.

You wanted to cry out at the injustice. I splurged on those ice creams!

to be continued ...

Author’s note: Lucifer was raped but I didn’t focus too much on the implications of the assault, now that’s not to say that I think female-on-male rape is not serious, however, do remember the setting and the characters themselves. Canonically, it’s been implied that Mammon has been forced to serve witches in unsavory ways but it’s never given much depth and it’s almost played for laughs, but again remember: this is fiction and the characters are demons. Whatever the gender of the victim and/or attacker, rape is never okay. Please don’t think that because I didn’t delve in Lamia’s scheme that I take rape lightly. 

[prurientpuddlejumper]

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Kneef (Part 2)

<- Part 1 | Part 3 ->

For @thatesqcrush​’s Naughty or Nice Holiday Bingo! Filling the Fake Relationship When Visiting Family square. 

Bryan Kneef x Female Reader

Warnings: Language. Holiday fluff. Bryan being the worst... but also hot? Horrible pet names. Nothing nsfw happens this chapter except Bryan’s mouth. 

2,900 words

The bluish LED headlights of Bryan Kneef’s BMW blinded other drivers as they cut through the dark on the drive to his parents’ suburban house. You ascertained from the hands-free call he was making the family hadn’t started dinner yet. Christmas was close to the winter solstice, so it wasn’t as late as the sky suggested, although you’d heard a hungry child screaming impatiently about having to wait for Uncle Bry.

“Uncle Bry,” you teased as the call ended.

He chuckled. “That would be my brother’s kid, Finn. My brother’s name is Timothy. The CEO of LogicFinance. You will say you’ve ‘heard so much about them.’ Let’s review.”

“Jesus.”

Sitting next to Bryan while his attention wasn’t on you, you lost yourself noticing things. The clean smell of his cologne. How sexy he looked—in a rich douchey way—in his tailored suit and expensive car. His long fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. That beard that made you want to scream, “Daddy!”

You could almost forget he was the asshole who held every paralegal at STR Laurie hostage with busywork unless you pretended to be the woman who dumped him. 

Until he started barking at you to memorize facts about his life.

“First, what do I have to know about this woman I’m supposed to be?”

He stared straight ahead at the road. “Her name is Sydney. So you’re Syd from now on.”

“Oh joy. Being called your ex’s name all night won’t be weird or anything.”

“You were the one who wanted to get out of work.”

“Whatever. I bet you already forgot my real name, anyway.”

He didn’t contradict you. The engine roared to life as he changed lanes before signaling and cut off the SUV he’d been tailgating for the last mile.

Your arms crossed over your chest. “How much did you tell your family about Sydney? I hope you didn’t send them any pictures.”

“Not much, and obviously not. I’m not stupid.”

“Just pathetic.”

He scowled. Before he could think of a searing response to take back control of the conversation, you asked another question that knocked him off balance.

“What made this one so different? We’ve been working together for what, a year? And I’ve never seen you upset over a breakup.”

“The sex was fantastic,” he answered too loudly.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve never had a woman who could keep up with me—”

“Because you finish too quickly?”

“Cute. Keep it up.” He stepped on the gas again and your stomach lurched as he pulled off another aggressive passing maneuver in the right lane. “No one walks away from my bed unsatisfied. You could find out. A little reward for helping me out tonight?”

“Not in a million years,” you clipped, shutting him down, even though your wild, lonely, horny side that noticed his beard and fingers was beating at the inside of your skull. “You are going to keep it decent and chaste. Ground rules: holding hands. Kisses on the cheek. Moderate cuddling as the situation calls for it. That should be plenty to sell that we’re involved.”

“You haven’t seen me around women I’m involved with,” he smirked with a suggestive glint in the side of his eye.

“And I’m sure your parents haven’t seen you with a partner who isn’t just some bimbo you’re screwing, either. Cop a feel, and I end the charade right there.”

That comment, which was more insightful than you knew, silenced him. His suggestive side-glance returned forward to focus on the road. That look was back on his face again—the look when he ran out of swaggering bullshit to spew. Sadness. Genuine human sadness.

“She wasn’t clingy,” he said, voice a soft rumble. “Didn’t expect me to be her fucking boyfriend—she was the one who told me no strings.”

“You loved her because she was distant?”

“No. I don’t know. She did nice things, too—like ask how my day was, and bring me coffee. She remembered the way I like it.”

“That’s just basic human kindness, Bryan.” You sighed. “That’s actually… really sad.”

“Fuck you.”

“I mean it. You call women clingy for wanting to be close to you, and now you’re so starved for connection you think remembering your coffee order is a huge deal. Your secretary knows your coffee order. Hell, I know your damned coffee order you’ve sent me out for it enough times, even though—as I often remind you—that’s not my job. I’m sorry. Really. But maybe this is a lesson? That you actually have a heart and might want to try opening it sometime?”

“How the fuck is that the lesson? I open my heart, I get hurt. From now on, I’m only dating broads who disgust me.” His eyes lingered on you for a dangerously long time until you got the point and gave an annoyed grunt. His eyes returned to the road, corners crinkled in satisfaction.

***

Dinner was already starting when Bryan’s BMW finally pulled into the driveway of a large house on a private cul-de-sac. The porch was glowing with tasteful white lights and a wreath on the door. Silhouettes were moving behind the decorative glass set into the front door, waiting for you to get out of the car. As soon as you approached, the door flew open and you were hit with the smell of roast turkey.

“Bry-Bry! We were worried you wouldn’t make it!” His silver-haired mother threw her arms around Bryan’s neck while he grumbled with reluctant affection, hugging her back.

A rich oaken voice of the man who must have been his father said, “And this must be the famous Sydney. We thought we’d never get to meet you.” He shook your hand warmly.

Both of them were wearing hideous red and green Christmas sweaters straight out of a Hallmark movie.

“I can’t believe this one hasn’t driven you away!” Bryan’s mom teased, pinching his pink cheek as she did so. “We’re so happy you put up with our little monster.” She hugged you.

“Come, come on in. Let me take your coat. We were just starting dinner—you’re right on time.” His dad helped you shrug your winter coat off and hung it up in the entryway closet for you.

This was… bizarre. How the hell did people this friendly churn out a Bryan?

More shocking still was when you felt warm, long fingers twine between yours, and you nearly tore your hand away before remembering you had a “boyfriend” tonight. Bryan smiled at you sweetly, eyes soft and affectionate.

Yep. You’d fallen into some kind of Bizarro World.

Martha, his mother, led you both through the spacious house toward the dining room. “What do you think of our humble home?” she asked, pausing in the living room. “I keep thinking I should move that chair to the other side of the fireplace. What do you think? Would it flow better?”

“Uh, I’m not really—”

“Mom! We’re hungry,” Bryan snapped.

“Oh, come on, honey, let me pick her brain! It’s not every day we have an interior designer in here.”

“Bryan told you I’m an interior designer?” Your mouth smiled pleasantly at Bryan while your eyes stabbed daggers into his stupid handsome face.

“Obviously I forgot I mentioned it,” he smiled back.

You batted your eyes. Now the daggers were on fire.

“Well, what do you think? Chair on the left, or the right?”

“Well,” you said, “the symmetry with the fireplace is… balanced with the rich tones in the leather”—Martha nodded along attentively—“You know, I’ve been working all day, maybe we can talk shop later?”

“Oh! Of course! I’m sorry—Bryan’s mean old mom ambushing you the minute you walk in the door!” She flexed her hand into vampire-claws and playfully attacked your shoulder. “Aw, are the stuffy old adults embarrassing you, peanut?”

Bryan’s cheeks turned the brightest pink you had ever seen them. And this was a man who didn’t blush when telling a roomful of attorneys to go fuck themselves. You let out the first genuine laugh you’d made in his presence. You squeezed his hand.

“Honey-bear, I love your parents!”

***

The table was crowded with Kneef siblings, cousins, and their children and spouses. Finn, you guessed, was the youngest boy. And that would make the silver fox next to him Timothy. His older brother had the same bluntness as Bryan, but none of the cruelty. In fact, his entire family was so… normal.

Bryan’s hard edges were hardly softened in their presence, but unlike in the office where his cranky moods inspired fear, here they were met with boos and hisses and his cousin throwing a bread roll at him. The youngest kids mimicked this exciting behavior, and soon it was raining whole-wheat on Bryan Kneef.

You smiled and patted his hand and called him “dear” and made sure your mouth was full of turkey the moment anyone asked you about yourself.

Over the evening, you learned that Mrs. Martha Kneef put herself through nursing school after having her first child to support the family while her husband piddled around with his low-paying hobby in computers. By the time Bryan was born, his father was programming for a growing company, working his way up the ranks—back in the days when one could do that. By the time Bryan was ten, dad was the Chief Information Officer of one of the largest corporations in the country.

And so Bryan, the youngest, grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, handed all the things his parents had worked hard for in the hopes that he would have a better life.

“All the child-rearing books at the time said encouragement was important,” said Martha, who was a little drunk on red wine at this point. She let out an exasperated groan. “This is what happens when you encourage too much. We created a monster. Didn’t we?” Her voice went higher as she pinched Bryan’s cheek again.

“Martha and I are so happy to see him finally settling down with someone.”

“Yeah, how’d you manage to find a girl who’ll put up with you?” Tim teased, punching Bryan’s arm.

Bryan stared back. Locked eyes with his brother. He took a deep breath. “How’d you manage to—”

Bryan then asked something too obscene to be repeated, which set the entire table screaming, and parents’ hands clamping over children’s ears (though not before an adorable curly-haired niece asked, “mommy, what’s a prolapsed rectum?”).

You should have been offended, or embarrassed to be attached to the guy wrecking Christmas without even needing to be drunk. But oddly, as hot as your cheeks were, you found yourself laughing. You were dating the most interesting guy at the table. He was so overwhelmingly charismatic—not necessarily in a positive way, but in a way that made him the center of attention in any room he walked into. And he was charming enough for people to keep wanting him around, even when he said things that... were probably going to scar those children for life. Not to mention the adults.

Reaching over, you cupped the opposite side of his cheek and forced him to turn his head to you. “You’re so bad, Bry. How do I put up with you?” You began affectionately scratching his beard like it was something you’d done to him a hundred times. “He’s just so cute, I can’t resist. Settle down now, baby.”

His mom gave a loud, “Aww” and Bryan side-eyed his brother, who snorted.

You were getting into it, mussing up his perfect beard in a way that was sure to annoy him later—but it wasn’t annoying him that was on your mind. It was more the feeling of that coarse but soft hair under your fingertips, the shape of his jawline… the way he was staring back at you, eyelids drooping…

“It’s really the beard I’m dating—if he ever shaves, we’re breaking up,” you joked, suddenly needing to crush the romantic mood. It worked. His family laughed, and Bryan scowled, catching your wrist to make you stop.

***

Bryan wanted to leave right after dinner, but his mother wheedled him to stay.

“We’ve still got your bedroom set up if you want to sleep here. Think of it—we could have Christmas morning together just like when you and Timmy were babies!”

“Ma! I couldn’t impose on Syd. She… has a cat.”

Great. More backstory to remember. You surreptitiously elbowed him in the side.

Bryan got his dominating instincts from somewhere, though. The big ask to stay the night was a tactic to make him give in to the smaller ask of staying for hot cocoa and holiday movies.

Bryan had yet to recover from your crack about breaking up with him and forgot to play the part of the affectionate boyfriend. While her husband was explaining the intricacies of a particular wireless security device to whichever cousins would listen, Martha casually sidled up and whispered, “You don’t have to be shy about PDA in front of us old people. We’ve seen everything.”

“Oh! Uh...” Your mouth gaped, unsure how the fuck to respond to that.

Bryan overheard it and rolled his eyes with a groan. “Ma!”

He looked so grumpy and annoyed, something about it made you kiss him on the cheek. Just to put to rest his mother’s suspicions! That must have been it.

Then Bryan was all fire again, his eyes glittering above a wicked smirk. He grabbed your waist and pulled you roughly against his arousingly solid body, covering your neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses. Oh god, hot. He was definitely only doing this to make his mom uncomfortable, and if you knew Bryan, he wouldn’t stop until she regretted meddling or he was fucking you on the stack of presents under the tree. So why was your skin too hot? Why did it prickle everywhere his hand wandered? Palming your curves, sliding down to your hips, lowering over the swell of—

You leaned close until your lips brushed the shell of his ear. “Watch your hands, or HR is hearing all about this,” you warned, then pulled away smiling.

Bryan smiled back. “Of course, babycakes.”

“You lovebirds! Keep it PG.”

He warned you in the car that no one would buy him keeping things chaste, didn’t he? Well, you weren’t going to be the one to blow your cover.

When you filed into the living room where the kids were already watching A Christmas Story, there was only one spot left on the couch, and an empty armchair. Bryan flopped down on the recliner, and you sat on his lap. His chest vibrated as he gave an encouraging growl, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“You didn’t expect me to sit alone, did you, honey-bear?” you cooed.

His hand moved to support your hip, cradling you close to him. The other hand covered yours, which was resting on your knee. It was just a performance, but god, his hands were so big and warm, and the gesture so remarkably soft. You let yourself recline back against his chest, and turned your head to inspect his profile—the greying at his temple, a strong, square brow that shaded such lively green eyes.

A fire danced in the fireplace, stockings hung up neatly above it. A tree in the opposite corner filled the room with a piny balsam scent. The whole scene felt so domestic. Bryan’s beard scratched the side of your face, the soft cashmere of the sweater he’d thrown on over his dress shirt making him a comfortable cuddle partner. Suddenly you could imagine perfectly well why someone might put up with him.

“So, Sydney, how did you meet Bryan?” his father asked. A few other prying relatives leaned forward, and you began to sweat.

“Oh… I’m sure Bryan’s already told this story,” you deflected, glancing at him for assistance. Bryan frowned.

“It was through a case.” His evasive answer only made everyone more curious.

“What kind of case?”

“A divorce case.”

A bark of laughter leaped from your throat before you could hold it in, and you had to quickly disguise it as the kind of nostalgic laugh you get from an inside joke. “It’s true”—you stroked Bryan’s beard—“I think he only slept with me as part of the victory, you know? Took my ex’s money, took his wife. You know our Bryan,” you giggled. You would bet money that was exactly how it happened, too. “It’s a major rebound for me. But it’s been working out. Bryan has this whole other side to him that people don’t see.”

He looked at you. The clarity of his green eyes caught you off guard, and you felt a burning heat creeping up the side of your neck toward your ears.

“Well, we’re so happy to meet you!”

“You dog, Bry.”

“Want to see baby pictures?”

The last voice was Martha’s.

“No.” Bryan said. “She doesn’t.”

Of your asshole boss? Why yes. Yes, you did.

“He used to be such a sweet little peanut.” His mother always seemed eager to stir trouble for her brat of a son. “Just wait until you see how cute he was in diapers.”

“No!” Bryan groaned, but couldn’t stop you from following Martha to the family photo albums.

He had no power here.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Tagged: @beccabarba​ / @caked-crusader​ / @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ / @thatesqcrush​ / @dianilaws​ / @permanentlydizzy​ / @mrsrafaelbarba​ / @madamsnape921​ / @astrangegirlsmind​ / @neely1177​ / @onerestein​ / @welcometothemadxxhouse​ / @stardust-fray​ / @dreila03​ / @tropes-and-tales​ / @the-baby-bookworm​ / @ireadfanfictionontheweekends​ 

(I also just tagged everyone who commented/reblogged the last chapter even if u didn’t ask so uhhh >_> lmk if you hate that?)

[thiswasinevitableid]

The Bachelor

A birthday gift for @bellafarallones. Part 3 of the TAZ Amnesty Bachelor AU (sternclay and indruck were the first two) AKA what Vincent was up to. Apollo is from my Amnesty Super Hero fic

The entire United States to choose from and this is the best the producers could find? He’s going to win this thing with his eyes closed. Then it’s a hop, skip, and jump to some endorsement deals, his own spin-off, and then a prime time hosting slot. 

Oh, and a marriage. But that should be easy; any guy would count themselves lucky to have him.

God, that pool will be great for Instagram shots. Luckily the producers knew their biggest draw when they saw him and agreed to let Indrid continue his work as Apollo’s personal photographer and assistant. He may be a disappointment to the Cold name, but he’s good with a camera and has no interest in being recorded for the show. And if, god forbid, Apollo comes down with a cold during filming, someone will be there to bring him Day-Quil. After all, if he lets anyone see Apollo in a vulnerable state, Apollo will just have to send their father an email about Indrid’s latest failure. 

“It’s times like this we should be grateful for our genes. I know I am.” He glances at his twin, pausing his gaze on his silver hair and tattoos.

“You dye yours too. And I think there are more than a few handsome men here, so don’t get cocky.” His attention shifts for a moment as a man dressed like Smokey the Bear passes them.

“Oh come on, even with those pretentious glasses you can see I’m a cut above.”

“If you say so. And if you want to do shots of you in your suit, we need to start soon, so kindly find your room so we can get on with it.”

--------------------------------------------------

Not only is this easy, it’s fun. The cameras love him, and most of his fellow contestants yield to him after one remark. He’s been watching Vincent, the bachelor for this season, closely during group interactions, and it’s clear he’s already developing favorites. Annoyingly, two in particular--Joseph and Duck--are more inclined to push back at him. But it doesn’t matter; everyone has weaknesses. He’ll find theirs soon. 

Tonight is his first formal date with Vincent. They’re at an Italian place with good lighting, and Vincent is perfectly nice to look at in his lavender dress shirt and silver tie. Apollo’s done his research; Vincent is ten years his senior, took an early retirement from a position in the department of defense and now runs two consulting businesses; one for banks and museums and one for domestic violence shelters, health clinics, and other places where doing good draws enemies. The first business subsidizes the second. Vincent enjoys tennis and running, has no Instagram presence, and is an only child. 

Apollo has his plan of attack; the trouble is, Vincent isn’t interested in sitting there and being flattered (though he does blush when Apollo says the tie makes the grey in his hair look all the more distinguished). He wants to know about Apollo. 

“When you’re not taking photos, what do you like to do?”

He doesn’t correct him about who takes the pictures, smiles, “I, ah, I go to the gym.”

“I have to say it shows.” Vincent winks. It’s so corny, but Apollo can’t find it in him to hate it, “any sports, or just things like weights and cardio?”

‘

“No, but I played football in high school. I was star running back.”

“I played my freshman year, but baseball suited me better. So when you're not ‘pumping iron’, what do you do for fun?”

There is no answer that won’t make him look too shallow or too...no, he can’t even think about that option. Damn it, he must have a normal hobby. He hedges with the truth and hopes the editors cut it for time. 

“I like movies. I, ah, I’ve been working my way through the Criterion Collection of the birth of cinema  and it’s fascinating. Did you know there was a silent film heartthrob who predates Valentino?”

“Sessue Hayakawa?” 

“You know about him?” He leans forward.

“I read a biography of him last year that was riveting. I still have it if you’d like to borrow it.”

“Yes, yes absolutely. We, we could even watch some of his films together, and the ones they inspired, you know they, they…” 

Fuck, he’s acting like Indrid, bumping the table and yammering about things that will get him nowhere. He sits back, grabs his wine and sips to cover his error. 

“I’d like that.” Is all Vincent says as they’re entrees arrive. 

“Enough about me. I was reading about your business and, ah, well, how do you even do something like that?”

Vincent describes his process, how he picks clients and what he considers when evaluating a space. Apollo fully intends to zone out with a smile. 

He hangs on every word. All too soon, Vincent is asking for dessert. 

“Is your meal okay?”

Apollo looks at the plate of spaghetti carbonara he’s been poking at, not wanting to be caught in an ugly expression while eating, “Yes, it’s delicious.”

Dessert arrives in the shape of a chocolate lava cake with sparklers, a detail which delights Vincent. It’s such a ridiculous thing to smile over. Apollo smiles back, and let’s his date feed him a bite of cake. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was the beach trip self-serving on Vincent’s part? Indeed. Has it also given him valuable intel? Yes, yes it has.

He now knows who’s going home next; Nico is such a fraternity-bred asshole that he should have sent him packing weeks ago. Honestly, all his comments about Barclay this morning were awful. Barclay is masculine and sweet in a way Vincent adores. He even helped Joseph during the cliff dive, which bumps him even higher in Vincent’s eyes. 

Joseph stealthily knocking Nico’s hat from his head with a frisbee was also a high point; goodness, Joseph reminds him of men he used to work with who he never, ever, admitted his feelings for (they were often his subordinates, and he prided himself on keeping a safe department). 

Then there’s Duck. Vincent would like an award for not spending the morning asking to rub sunblock on those arms. He’s been treated to a closer view of them the last half-hour, Duck sitting next to him in a Hawaiin shirt that shows off his biceps. The ranger just now excused himself (“gotta give the other fellas a chance to impress”) to go keep Indrid company during dinner. Polite and friendly to the core, that’s his favorite bear. 

And then there’s-

“Hiiii Vincent.” Apollo slides into the spot closest to him on the restaurant deck. 

Were Vincent choosing for an evening, Apollo would edge out even Duck. He suspects getting the younger man under some comfortable sheets to praise and fuss over him would be very nice indeed. Apollo may posture and insist to the others that he’s the dominant one in the bedroom, but this isn’t Vincent’s first go around; he knows someone who longs to be spoiled and submissive when he sees one.

But he’s here to choose his husband, not a hook-up. 

He initially assumed he’d send Apollo home after their first formal date. He knows these shows sometimes attract people who want their fifteen minutes of fame, and Apollo is one of them. But then his meticulously built image cracked, just a little, as they talked, and Vincent is so taken by what he saw that he can’t bring himself to send him home yet.

The older man slides the younger one an oyster, “try one, they’re local.”

There’s no appealing way to eat an oyster on camera, but Apollo lifts a shell and downs one. He does an excellent job masking his grimace.

“Another? Or would you like one of the grilled scallops instead?”

He watches him run a calculus. Then he slides his sunglasses down, “Scallop, please.”

Maybe there’s hope for him yet.

-------------------------

“Indrid, Vincent hates me!”

Indrid blinks at him.

“One of the other contestants got them to show him a bunch of footage of me putting the other men in their place and now he hates me.” Genuine panic rises in his chest as Indrid gives him absolutely no expression to work from. 

“What do you want me to do?”

“Talk to him, tell him that I’m not-”

“What you actually are? Vincent is here to choose a spouse; he has a right to not choose you.”

“Fix. It.” Apollo snarls.

His twin stands, regarding him from across the rug, “I will speak to Vincent, on one condition; you do not go after Duck ever again.”

“Traitor, you should be on my side, not his.”

Indrid shrugs, sits back down and picks up his book. 

“I’ll, I’ll tell father you’re sabotaging me.”

“You think he’ll like to hear you’re being out done by his inferior son?”

“....Damn it. Fine, fine. I’ll leave Newton alone. Now go.”

His brother has the audacity to grin at him, “I will, right after I finish this chapter.”

---------------------------------------------

He’s sitting with Duck and Joseph, asking their opinion, when Indrid enters the living room.

“Did Apollo send you?” Vincent picks lint from his cardigan. 

“Yes. He’s asking me to intercede on his behalf since he thinks you hate him.”

“Oh dear, I don’t hate him. I just said I was disappointed in him.”

“Ah” Indrid perches on the arm of Duck’s chair, “That’s our father’s code for ‘I hate you.”

“Jesus.” Duck mutters.

“I suspected he was exaggerating. That’s why I agreed to talk to you; I’ve learned it’s best to verify anything  he tells me. In truth, I can’t do much for him.  If it’s not obvious, he takes after our father and our father is...not a good man. We each survive him in our own way; Apollo chose to mold himself into what he demanded we be. That does not excuse him. But perhaps it puts him into perspective.”

Vincent knows he’s not sending Apollo home this week; it’s still Nico’s turn. And his heart that taps his chest to ask, “Do you think he could change?”

Indrid says nothing. Duck is keeping his mouth shut, but his frown suggests his answer.

“This is not to defend him but” Joseph looks at Indrid, “you grew up under the same conditions and chose not to replicate them. That suggests it’s possible.”

“I just didn’t want to end up like him.” Indrid murmurs.

“And ‘possible’ don’t mean probable.” Duck adds.

Vincent rubs his temples, “You’re right. All of you. I...I think I need some time to decide how many chances to be the person I think he can be I ought to give him.”

---------------------------------------

Apollo isn’t sure what to expect. The last time Vincent asked to see him, it was to scold him. Three guys have gone home since then, and he’s been fighting back his impulses to torment and gloat, focusing instead on  making Vincent like him instead of undermining the competition. 

The door opens on a room with a bed, lots of candles, and…

“Is that whale song?”

“Yes. I picked a ‘soothing’ playlist to fit the mood.” Vincent is in linen pants and a button up short sleeve, pats the bed with a smile, “I thought a nice massage might do you good. Non-sexual, of course” he tips his head at the camera.

Apollo isn’t shy. His thirst traps are legendary. But he lays on his stomach the instant he’s down to his underwear. Vincent hums as he starts on his shoulders, checking in now and then about pressure. It would be nice if Apollo’s skin weren’t starving for gentle touches. He keeps letting out pathetic sounds, almost like chirps, as Vincent rubs him down. 

Then the worst thing happens; he gets hard. At first he tries just keeping his hips still but no, just Vincent’s touch is enough. So he tenses in hopes of not giving it away.

“Is it too hard?”

“No, I’m fine.”

The hands leave his skin and he whines like a kicked dog. 

“Would you gentlemen let us do the rest in private? I’m sure the viewers get the point.”

There’s shuffling feet and shutting doors, and then a gentle hand rolling him onto his back.

“Apollo, what’s really--oh. That explains it.” 

He scrambles to sit up, tucking his knees to his chest, “I’m sorry, you said you didn’t want it to be sexual, I didn’t do this on purpose, I swear-”

The bed squeaks along with him as Vincent sits, “Sweetheart, I’m not going to get angry with you for this. If, um, if it helps to know, the feeling is very much mutual.”

It should feel like a triumph, but his cheeks burn and he hides his face against his knees. 

“Does that bother you?”

“No! No, not at all. I wouldn’t be wooing you on T.V if I didn’t think you were attractive. Blech, I sound like one of Indrid’s romance novels. Not, not that there’s anything wrong with Indrid...liking...silly things.”

Vincent cups his face and he leans into it, wants to glue his cheek there, “Apollo, I’ve noticed you’re trying to be less...unkind since our little talk.”

“I’m trying. It’s just so very, very hard.”

“I’ve also noticed you’re letting your persona go now and then. That means a lot to me. I’m not interested in the man you think you should be; I’m interested in the man you might become, the man you are when you stop trying to be better than everyone. I like that man, I’d like to get to know him more.”

Apollo shivers as Vincent kisses his forehead, “I’ll do my best.”

-----------------------

“The nerve of Joseph to say things like that to me!”

Indrid doesn’t look up, “It’s a genuine concern; Vincent is older, there will likely come a time when you’ll be the one caring for him. Are you certain you’ll have the patience for that? Be willing to put your needs and wants on hold for the sake of someone else?”

That’s really what would happen? He, he could do it for Vincent, he’s certain. But could he? What if it’s hard, without glory or gain, does that make it foolish?

He chases those thoughts in dizzying circles for fifteen minutes until they crash into the solution.

“I solved it! I don't have to worry about taking care of Vincent as he ages because he'll divorce me once I reach thirty-two.”

“That is the bleakest possible conclusion.” Indrid flips his sketchbook closed. 

“Just let me have this!”

“I hate that I even have to say this but Vincent is not our father.”

“Father said he was doing what any sensible man would do.”

Indrid levels him with an unusually firm stare, “Do you not want Vincent just because he’s over thirty-two?”

“Of course not! He’s great! I, brother for goodness sake just tell me how to care for him.”

“I literally cannot do that. You have to figure it out for yourself what care looks like for you.”

He’s about to repeat his demand when his phone rings. 

“Hi, Vincent.”

“I'm so sorry, but I have to break our date tonight. I was out for a run and twisted my ankle. I just got back from the doctor; he says I sprained it, so I might be on bed rest a few days.”

Perfect. 

“Oh no, I’m glad it’s not too serious. Would, ah, would it be alright if I came to see you?”

They agree on a time. Then he remembers the problem that preceded the phone call.

“What do I do?”

“What do you want to do for him? Or, if your positions were reversed, him to do for you?” Indrid asks flatly. 

“Call you so he doesn’t see me looking frail.”

“assume I am dead and thus no longer dealing with your nonsense”

“That’s not fair.”

Indrid flops on the bed, “I'm dead, Vincent is the only one who is coming to take care of you, what do you want him to do?”

“Tell me it’s okay and spend time with me and…”

Indrid grins, “And?”

“And watch PBS in bed.”

“It’s a start. Now please get out of my room.”

An hour later he pokes his head into Vincent’s bedroom; the older man is reclining, reading a John Grisham paperback in a robe that makes him look very suave

“How are you feeling?” He sits next to him, rubs his knee. .

 “Oh, I'm fine, just feel a little silly. It used to be I could twist an ankle and come up fine. Aging is quite the adventure.”

“I, um, I'm glad it wasn't too bad. I, I don't like the thought of you getting hurt. Bot that you'd be bad if you did! I accept that we are all very fragile beings trying not to die.

(Too dark, Cold,  pull it back).

“I mean, um, is there anything I can do to help?”

“I'd be happy to have you stay awhile.” Vincent takes his hand, let’s him lean on his shoulder as they talk. They’re midway through a discussion of famous film disasters when a small burst of black and red lands on the windowsill. He doesn’t catch his excitement in time and Vincent asks him what made him perk up. 

With a courage he did not know he possessed, he points to the bird.

“Oh! How beautiful. What kind is it?”

“Scarlet Tanager” he mumbles, “they’re not common here.”

“Do you know a lot about birds?”

He nods. 

“There are some feeders just on that balcony. And I think the binoculars a friend gave me last Christmas are still in the closet, if you’d like to use them.”

“I would” he stands, heart bubbling with terrifying warmth, “thank you, da--ah, dear.”

Mischief sweeps across Vincent’s face, “Is this where you tell me you’ve had lots of older boyfriends?”

“No. I, ah, I’ve made out some but I never dated.”

“Not even a highschool sweetheart?”

“My father made it so no teenager wanted to go near our house. Or us.” The binoculars are magnificent, the best money can buy, “I always wished I had a date to homecoming. It looked so fun, asking someone or getting asked and then having matching outfits and going out to dinner and taking pictures together. I even picked out an outfit just in case someone asked.  I think Indrid snuck out to meet his burnout--, um, meet his friends. I just sat in my room.”

“You could have asked someone yourself, couldn’t you?” Vincent makes room for him on the bed once more. 

 “And risk getting rejected in front of the whole school? No thank you.” He stares at the binoculars, afraid of what he might see if he turns, “I'm sorry, you don't need to hear all this. I’m supposed to be here taking care of you.”

Vincent opens his arms, pulling Apollo into a hug, “You know care can go two ways at once, right?”

“Not really” he mumbles into silver silk.

“Oh, sweetheart.” A kiss on his cheek, hands running soothingly up his sides, and those weak, silly noises slipping from his mouth. 

“I want it to be, I’ll be so good, I’ll take care of you, just please...please say you’d do the same?”

“Of course. That’s what love is.”

He tucks his face against Vincent’s neck, “Will you make fun of me if I say I’m frightened?”

“Never.”

“I don’t know how to do so much of this. I don’t know how much of me can change.”

“Are you willing to try?” Vincent kisses the shell of his ear.

“For you? Yes.”

-------------------------------------------

“I choose…” Vincent looks between Apollo and Jonathan. Apollo cannot wait to spring into his arms. 

“I choose neither.”

“What!” Ned yells off camera.

“I’m sorry to both of you but I simply can’t. Jonathan, you’re a very nice man, but our connection is ultimately lacking. Apollo” Vincent meets his eyes and he forces his gaze to stay placid, “I care for you more than words can say. I know you’ve worked so very hard to change. I also know that people can easily revert to their old, cruel ways under pressure or difficulty. Marriage often involves those things, and I’m not sure you can be the man I need you to be. With those misgivings,  it wouldn’t be fair to propose to either of you. I hope you understand.”

They both say the do, shake hands, give hugs. And he does, he truly does understand. He understands that Vincent made the choice he had to, that even though he got better he is still a rotten, cruel creature who doesn’t deserve him. He was taught he deserved the world; some good that did him. It lost him the only person who might make the world a less miserable place. 

“Apollo!” Vincent jogs after him, catches up to him in an empty hall, “Apollo I-”

His heart is breaking; his old ways twine like vipers around it, “I, I’m glad you didn’t choose me you, you boring, pathetic man. No wonder you have to pay people to go on dates with you! I don’t need anyone, least of all you!”

Vincent steps back, face falling as Apollo storms off. The last thing he hears is, “And here I thought I made the wrong choice.”

---------------------

He deletes his Instagram. Gets a job as a personal shopper. Goes to therapy because he will not let Indrid outshine him when it comes to unlearning how they were raised. 

It helps. Three months after the disastrous finale (for him, not for the network) he’s feeling, if not better, like he might actually try dating someone soon. He also writes two apology letters; one to Indrid and one to Vincent. Then he tears them both up and just tells Indrid that he’s trying to be less of an asshole and that he’s sorry for all the time he was one. He leaves Vincent alone; if he doesn’t want to see him, the least he can do is respect that.

It’s migration season, so he’s hiding in his favorite, super-secret birdwatching spot. It’s near a pond, so lots of birds come to drink and bathe, and he’s seen several on his list. 

Branches crack, sending nearby jays into a flap. Damn it, he’s never seen someone else here; the only person he ever told about it was-

“Hi, Apollo.”

“Vincent!” He almost falls off his stump, “how, why?”

“I’d been meaning to explore this spot ever since you spoke about it. But I, um, was also hoping I might see you in the process. Pathetic, as you might say.”

“I did, didn’t I.” Apollo stares up at him, clutching his binoculars so hard they might become disparate spyglasses, “Vincent, I am so, so, so very sorry for how I acted when we last saw each other. I was hurt, all I want is to make someone else hurt more so I stop feeling so vulnerable and powerless. I, I’ve been working on it in, in” he winces “therapy. You said once that you wanted to meet the man I might be. I realized I wanted to meet him to, to be him, not to win some show or even to get you to like me but just because I don’t want to be the other Apollo anymore.”

Vincent sits next to him, “You don’t give up, do you?”

“I, I just want to un-fuck what I can. I, how have you been?”

“Doing lots of thinking. I still know I made the right call not proposing during the finale. And that I’m ready to start dating again.”

“I hope whoever you go out with knows how lucky they are.” He says without any motive but the truth.

Vincent plucks a late-blooming wildflower and offers it to him, “It’s not a rose, but then again, this isn’t a proposal. It’s just a date, if you still want one.”

“So badly.” 

The older man leans in, kissing him softly as his spine turns to soup, “I’m looking forward to meeting the, um, latest version of you.” He snickers at his own phrasing.

Apollo pulls him into a second kiss, “Me too.”

[tinybibmpreg]

prompt fill 7/80 - #11 - Have you seen the rest of their family? ft. Prince Richard Silvers, Klaude & Ezekiel Goldsborough (plus their father), and Elizabeth Valentine

oh boy this one is long. Richard and Klaude (and ezekiel and elizabeth) are characters i made years ago and wrote a bunch of stories for, but i never finished any of them. i do wanna rewrite those because i like them still lol. but have this new fresh thing with them instead, featuring both of the Goldsborough boys knocked up by their respective partners lmao

Silvers: Reunion 

“Have you seen the rest of their family?” Richard asked, leaning in close to Elizabeth as they were escorted into the Goldsborough manor. “Klaude mentions his older brother and father sometimes in his letters, but I have no clue what they look like or what they're like.”

The younger woman shook her head, looking terribly nervous as they entered the huge house. She glanced around and fidgeted with a ring on her middle finger. “Ezekiel showed me a picture of his mom once back at the academy… but she passed away when he was a child, so I don't think that helps. Ezekiel mostly talks about Klaude when he mentions family.”

“Damn. That totally sucks. I should have done research. I don't even know anyone's names.” He hadn't been nervous about coming to stay with Klaude at his family’s estate at first. But now upon realizing he was going to seem foolish and uncaring, his usual confidence was dwindling away. He didn't want Klaude to think he wasn't interested in the rest of his family, to give him any reason to suspect he hadn't wanted to show up.

When getting married, one was supposed to be at least familiar with one’s partner’s family.

He'd just been so desperate to see his fiancé again that he'd bypassed everything else.

“Well, their dad’s name is Raoul, and their older brother is Manson,” Elizabeth said. “Ezekiel calls his two sisters by nicknames, but they live with their spouses so they shouldn't be here.”

“They have sisters?”

“Yes. It goes Manson, Klaude, Hattie, Lin, and Ezekiel.”

Richard chuckled a bit. “Zeke’s the family baby, huh?”

“Their sisters have kids, so those are the family babies…”

Why did Klaude have to be so tight-lipped about everything? He hadn't mentioned being an uncle, or that he even had sisters.

They were escorted through an entrance hall to a large study. Richard perked up as they walked in, but their escorts left them with just Klaude and Ezekiel’s father. There was no sign of the brothers. Richard struggled to keep from deflating. Elizabeth’s fidgeting increased.

“Ah, Prince Silvers, Miss Valentine. Welcome to my home. Was your trip pleasant?”

Richard took over the conversation before Elizabeth could have a chance, giving her time to calm her nerves. “It's wonderful to be here. Our trip from the Silvers Kingdom went smoothly, if not a bit slowly for my tastes.”

“I'm sure the two of you were eager to be here.” Though Lord Goldsborough sounded pleasant enough and had a small smile on his face, the look in his eyes was anything but friendly and welcoming. Richard couldn't blame him, considering the circumstances of why they were there. He applauded the man for being so composed. If the situation were reversed, his own father would have been livid. “Your sister, Princess Ronella, is not with you?” the man asked.

“She is back at the Silvers Palace, studying. Miss Valentine is now capable of providing the magic I need, so my sister doesn't have to trouble herself following at my heels wherever I may go.”

“I'm sure it's no trouble, helping her brother.”

“We adore each other, but circumstances kept her from her proper education. I'm glad she's able to return to her schooling at home and to spend time with her mother, as young girls should.”

“Indeed. And things have settled, in your kingdom?”

“Very. It is peaceful at last, and the people flourish. Miss Valentine was a wonderful help to my father and king and I.” Elizabeth jumped a bit, stuttering that she had just tried her best. Richard gave her a side-eye glance and patted her arm. “Without her magic, I may not have been able to come and pay my respects to you, Lord Goldsborough, and I would not be able to see Klaude again.”

“Thank goodness for Miss Valentine then. Klaude and Ezekiel are eager to see the both of you later.”

“A-are they doing well?” Elizabeth asked.

Lord Goldsborough gave them both a strained smile. Richard vowed to himself that he would find some way to apologize to the man, on behalf of himself and Elizabeth, but mostly himself. He was sure Lord Goldsborough would be more forgiving of Elizabeth, a sweet girl who hadn't intended to defile his youngest son. Richard knew that on the other hand, he'd caused a full-blown scandal, and the blame for it laid mostly on him. Now Lord Goldsborough had to rush to arrange a wedding between his second eldest son and the crown prince of a large empire, whereas Elizabeth and Ezekiel had a bit of time and far less prominence.

“They're both doing well. Klaude will be especially glad for your arrival, Prince Silvers. He has yet to give birth, though the doctors say he is due any day now.”

“I'm relieved I could make it in time before the birth,” Richard told him. “Is Klaude here? Ah, and Ezekiel as well?” he asked.

Lord Goldsborough took a seat on a fine chair, crossing one leg over the other. “You’ve both had a long journey. Why don’t you sit and have some refreshments? Klaude is resting, but I’m sure he’ll be up later in time for dinner.”

They’d been sitting on a train for hours and had eaten right before arriving so they wouldn’t have anything in the way of seeing Klaude and Ezekiel right when they arrived, so Richard absolutely did not want to sit again. However, he had to be polite. It wouldn’t do for a prince of his standing to turn down his host, especially not after his sister had drilled it into him that he had to actually behave like a royal while around nobles.

So he gestured for Elizabeth to sit at the end of a loveseat and took a seat on the cushion next to her even though he felt like Lord Goldsborough was purposefully keeping them from seeing his sons. “Thank you, Lord Goldsborough. We’d love some refreshments after our trip.”

“I’ll go ask a maid to bring some tea. Then we can discuss a few important matters.”

“Of course. Whatever you’d like.”

Lord Goldsborough stood and left to speak to one of the servants they’d passed on their way to the room. As soon as he’d left the room, Elizabeth turned to Richard and said, “I wonder why we can’t see Ezekiel… he said Klaude was resting, but he hardly mentioned Zeke…”

Richard slumped back and scoffed. “He’s not letting us see them yet because he hates us, Elizabeth.”

“Wh- what?!” she cried. He shushed her and glanced back at the doorway. Though frazzled, she quieted down and asked, “Why do you think that? Does he really hate us?”

“Of course he does,” Richard replied. He shrugged and looked around the room. Nothing caught his eye. All the decorations and furniture were standard for a nobleman’s manor, all expensive but impersonal items to show off wealth to any guests. Elizabeth looked even more anxious, so Richard explained, “Elizabeth, two of his sons are carrying our children, children conceived out of wedlock. His youngest is pregnant with a commoner girl’s child, and his second eldest is about to give birth to a foreign crown prince’s illegitimate firstborn. It’s a huge scandal for the family, especially with us being gone for six months. We can’t even marry early and try to conceal what happened. Klaude is due any day and Ezekiel is what? Almost eight months along?”

“Y-yes, almost eight… I can see what you mean, now… I never thought about it like that. I hope Zeke’s been alright. He was so worried when he found out about the baby, and then I had to leave and it took so long for us to come back. I hope he hasn’t been stressed out about a scandal.”

Richard waved her concerns off. “Eh, Ezekiel’s probably not too affected by that. Klaude and I are the ones with the major scandal.” Which Klaude had complained plenty about in his letters, even saying that he’d once nearly punched one of his relatives for making a comment about the baby being illegitimate. Richard had thought that meant his older brother and Klaude was just wording it strangely, but now he wondered if it was a brother-in-law that had asked Klaude how he felt about carrying a future bastard king.

If he could figure out which relative had said it, maybe he could humiliate them with a spell of some sort and make Klaude laugh. It was hard to get Klaude to fully laugh, and he loved whenever he managed it. Surely a good bit of revenge would work.

He hoped that Klaude’s father wouldn’t keep them apart for too long. Though he understood why Lord Goldsborough wanted them away from his sons, he missed Klaude and was impatient to see him again. It’d been a bit miserable back at home without Klaude to talk to every day. He missed spending time with the man and devoting his time to getting his cold exterior to crack. Those moments when he got to see Klaude’s softer, affectionate side… Moments he knew he was seeing a part of Klaude no one else got to see. He’d really missed them dearly.

Richard was also quite eager to see how Klaude looked, heavy with his child, ready to deliver any day. Klaude’s belly had been noticeably rounded out when he’d last seen him, a small swell that Richard could hardly take his hands off of. Having seen a few other full-term people before, it wasn’t difficult to imagine a full belly and swollen breasts on Klaude. And it was just as easy to imagine him still fitting into his typical formal and well-tailored clothes, even being nine months pregnant.

He sighed, wishing he could lean against his arm or bounce his leg. It was killing him to be patient.

Still, the image of Klaude and the good memories of spending time with him would have to remain just in his fantasy for now, until dinner. It would be rude of Lord Goldsborough not to have all of his family within the estate present at dinner when they had a guest of such high standing. At least Richard could count on that, that the nobleman wouldn’t dare to break the rules of high society in front of the heir of a kingdom much larger and far richer and more prosperous than his own country.

Glancing at Elizabeth, who was now solely focused on fidgeting with the spinning rings Richard had ordered to be made for her, he wondered if she was thinking of the same thing. Ezekiel was a bit too sweet-looking and gangly for his own tastes, but he imagined that being pregnant had filled the scrawny young man out and given him a healthier flush to his usual pallor. Certainly, it would suit him.

Richard told himself it was to help snap Elizabeth out of her anxious state, but he just really wanted to tease her to take his mind off of not being able to see Klaude yet as he asked, “So, how do you think Ezekiel looks?”

“Hm?” Elizabeth’s head shot up. Richard reached over and tried to fix her hair so it wasn’t so messy. He and his sister had tried to get her to stop looking so ruffled, but no matter what they did Elizabeth always looked like she’d been caught in the wind or had fallen. “What do you mean? He should look like he usually does… just, um, pr-pregnant.”

“Exactly. Klaude’s told me in his letters that he’s blaming me for how much sweets he’s been craving. Do you think Ezekiel’s indulging?”

She latched onto the wrong thing. “But you hate sweets…?”

“Beth. I have been utterly consumed with thinking about how I’m going to be putting my hands on every inch of Klaude’s heavy belly, and on everything else that’s changed with the pregnancy. You haven’t been thinking the same of Ezekiel?”

“Pr-Prince!” She covered her mouth with her hands, flustered.

“He’s always been a skinny little thing, and you’re a big girl. I bet he’s huge. I bet his breasts are nice and large as well, to feed the big baby you stuck in him.”

“I don’t get how you can say stuff like that with a straight face, Prince!” she squeaked. “Why do you always tease me like that?”

“You’re so easy, that’s why. Come on, haven’t you been thinking about it?”

“Of course I have! But I wouldn’t say it out loud!” Richard put a finger over his lips to shush her and she glared at him. “Prince…!”

Before he could keep teasing her, he heard footsteps. Richard looked behind them at the doorway and Lord Goldsborough returned, followed by a maid holding a tray with tea. Richard straightened up, putting on a charming smile.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long. I had to attend to something,” Lord Goldsborough said as he took his seat again.

“Not at all.” Richard took a cup of tea and waved away the maid when she offered milk and honey. He waited for Elizabeth and Lord Goldsborough to take their own cups before taking a sip. Then, he asked, “What was it that you wished to discuss?”

Lord Goldsborough set down his cup and put his hands on his lap. “I was hoping to take this time to discuss matters relating to your engagement with my son, about the wedding, Prince Silvers.”

Elizabeth took a sip of her tea to keep from reacting. Richard had no doubt she was remembering his many rants the past few months about how he didn’t care what they did for the wedding, that Klaude could handle that since it was going to be a wedding with Klaude’s country’s traditions. Richard would simply follow along, as anything would make him happy as long as Klaude was satisfied with it.

He wished he could say that to Lord Goldsborough, but didn’t think the man would enjoy hearing that Richard wouldn’t care if Klaude just wanted to sign a paper and go on with married life or if he wanted to consummate the marriage in front of everyone.

Definitely, he didn’t think Klaude’s father would want to hear that.

So he didn’t mention anything like that. “I’d love to discuss it. But shouldn’t wedding arrangements be made with Klaude…?”

“The family typically arranges things, and I have discussed things with my son in length the past few months. But since you’re a member of royalty, we would like to include you in arrangements, so as to avoid offending you or your kingdom.”

Richard did not mention that if Lord Goldsborough tried to discuss a wedding with his father or even anyone else in the royal court, that he would get laughed at and told the whole ordeal was ridiculous. He did not want to mention the words ‘concubine’ or ‘royal consort’ to Klaude’s father to explain that in his kingdom, Klaude would most certainly not be referred to as his husband no matter what their marital status was.

“Klaude has briefly mentioned to me how a typical wedding would proceed for your family. It all sounds quite agreeable.”

“Yes, he’s said you agreed with the procedures. But the details, rather, is what we would like your input on.”

“I’m sure whatever you have planned will be perfect! I don’t want to cause any difficulties when I know there is a limited amount of time to prepare things…”

Lord Goldsborough exhaled slowly. “It would be no trouble to fulfill your desires for the wedding… The staff is quite capable. And there is plenty of time to prepare.”

“But isn’t Klaude going to give birth any day now?” Elizabeth asked, and Richard wanted to take her aside and shake her for not listening to his sister’s social etiquette lessons. Somehow, Ronella would find out she’d spoken out of place, and he would be the one to get scolded for not looking out for Elizabeth.

Her question further strained the nobleman’s smile. It looked painful, how forced it was.

Richard wished he knew how to endear himself to Lord Goldsborough to make things easier on him. However, Elizabeth’s question made that impossible, driving it in that Richard was the reason he would be needing to prepare a wedding as quickly as possible.

At the awkward silence that followed, Elizabeth continued, saying, “If a wedding is difficult, then why not just have a small ceremony with an official? It’ll be quick and effective…”

“That’s preposterous. A small ceremony and impersonal signing before an official would be unthinkable for the Goldsborough family. And it would be offensive when Klaude is marrying a man of such high standing.”

“I guess it would be different than what a noble family is used to… but it wouldn’t be offensive. The royals in the Silvers kingdom don’t get married like people do here in Merlynd.”

“Yes, I’m sure their wedding customs are very different.”

Richard silently prayed to his patron goddess that Elizabeth wouldn’t mention that the kings of the Silvers kingdom didn’t have marriages, just accepted consorts that would bear children that would later be legitimized by the royal court.

His prayer went unanswered. She immediately replied, “The heirs and kings don’t get married at all, though.”

“What?”

Richard tried to salvage things, “While it’s true that we don’t get married in the sense that the people of Merlynd do, we do…” He had no idea what word to use in place of taking consorts or lovers. His pause made things worse.

Elizabeth seemed to realize that she shouldn’t have brought it up, leaning in towards Richard and asking in a whisper, “Is it not good to bring up royal consorts, or…?”

“Consorts,” Lord Goldsborough repeated, aghast. “You don’t take a husband or wife?”

“Klaude will be my husband according to Merlynic law, and I will personally consider him as such,” Richard assured.

That didn’t assure his future father-in-law. “And your kingdom will consider my son and his child as…?”

He avoided answering. “Merlynic law doesn’t apply in the Silvers Kingdom. But the concept of illegitimacy is very different and has nothing to do with marriage, in my kingdom. The term ‘bastard’ has no meaning. It will not matter to the royal court or to my father whether my child is presented for acceptance the moment after naming them or even years later.”

It was clear that Lord Goldsborough wanted to ask more about that, but he refrained, instead returning to his original topic. “Regardless… what would be your preferences for the foods that will be served at the wedding?”

Richard internally groaned. He hated details. At home, the kitchen would come up with things, and a list would be submitted to his father for approval. Sometimes Richard would suggest a meal if he wanted something, but his ideas were only ever one among the many ideas put forth by the staff.

How could Klaude’s father want to micromanage everything? Still, he had no choice but to go along with the tedious conversation.

He hoped that Klaude really was busy resting and was getting plenty of good sleep. At least then it wouldn’t be so bad, wasting his time discussing wedding details he was sure wouldn’t even come to fruition because of how quickly the wedding was to be thrown together now that he’d arrived.

-

“What do you mean Richard has been here for an hour already talking to my father?” Klaude snapped at a servant. “I told my father I wanted to be alerted as soon as he knew when Richard was going to arrive or did arrive.”

“F-forgive me, Master Klaude,” the servant stammered, wilting under his harsh glare. “Lord Goldsborough asked that no one tell you nor Ezekiel until after he finished speaking with Prince Silvers and his companion.”

“His companion? Is Elizabeth Valentine not here?”

His brother looked upset, standing and bringing his hands to his chest. “Elizabeth didn’t come with Prince Silvers?”

“Please don’t be upset, Master Ezekiel. I’m sorry, Master Klaude… I don’t know who his companion is.”

“Is it Princess Ronella?” There was no one else Richard would come alone with.

“N-no! It’s not a princess. It’s a woman with strange eyes.”

Ezekiel sighed in relief while Klaude was briefly confused. “It is Elizabeth, then. Thank goodness,” his brother said with a smile.

Klaude ignored Ezekiel and demanded of the servant, “Why did my father order such a thing?”

“Lord Goldsborough didn’t say. But he looked quite unhappy, Master Klaude.”

He scoffed. “Of course Father is unhappy. I’m also unhappy about the current state of things.” Ezekiel rolled his eyes and Klaude grit his teeth, turning his sharp glare towards his brother. There was no way he would ever admit that he was anxious to see Richard and upset that their father was trying to keep them apart. I’m certainly not upset! Klaude thought. It was the principle of things. It was rude of his father to deny his future son-in-law and daughter-in-law the chance to see their fiancés after their long travel just to be with them. He turned back to the servant. “But that’s no reason to keep Richard and Elizabeth Valentine away from us. Where are they?” he asked.

Gulping, the servant told them where their father and their guests were. Klaude grabbed Ezekiel’s arm and dragged him along.

-

Richard was considering faking illness to get out of discussing wedding decorations with Lord Goldsborough. It wouldn’t be hard to fake a cough and act like he was trying to hide being in pain. He was sure Elizabeth would freak out and convince the nobleman, and he could ask for privacy while Elizabeth gave him some excess magic, then explain to the woman that he was just pretending. It would probably work, provided that Klaude had told his father about his illness. He was sure that at least Ezekiel would have mentioned it. After all, the only reason why Elizabeth hadn’t stayed with her boyfriend through his pregnancy so far was that she was in the Silvers kingdom helping him and his father recover from the major spell they had cast. Or in Richard’s case, was still casting.

As Lord Goldsborough droned on and on about what traditional Merlynd weddings had, Richard wondered if Ezekiel was upset with him for keeping Elizabeth in the Silvers Kingdom for so long. Even though she had greatly helped Richard’s father and saved Richard’s life, he thought the young mage might still resent him a bit.

Ezekiel could hate him, for all Richard cared. He was glad to no longer be dying, and relished being able to get through the night without choking on blood from a decaying throat and that he was able to eat with far less pain.

“Another thing, Prince Silvers,” Lord Goldsborough started, and Richard got ready to start coughing.

Neither of them could continue though, as a raised and angry voice barked, “Father! I told you I wanted to be there to greet Prince Silvers and Elizabeth Valentine!”

Richard snapped his head around to see Klaude pulling his brother by the arm towards the doorway. A servant was walking alongside them, worried. But Richard’s focus went straight to Klaude.

“What are you doing here, sons? I told the servants I wanted to speak privately to our guests-”

“Thank you for this blessing, my Goddess,” Richard clasped his hands together and prayed quietly. He could hardly believe his eyes.

While he’d expected Klaude to have a heavy belly and a somewhat swollen chest, he’d been using the average expectant person as a basis for his mental picture of what he imagined Klaude to look like. With Klaude being so tall and broad, he’d also imagined that while his almost due belly would be large, it wouldn’t be as prominent as it would be on a smaller, slimmer person.

Klaude, in a sweater that clung to his figure and fought to keep him covered, was huge. He waddled towards the doorway slowly, a hand hooked under his massive belly that was in no way only carrying one child. He was expecting at least hefty twins. And not only was he clearly carrying twins, but it was obvious Klaude had been indulging in more than the occasional craving for sweets that he’d complained about. He’d filled out wonderfully, all curves where he’d once been simply muscular. His overstretched clothing left nothing to the imagination.

“How could you forbid the servants from letting us even know that our fiancés had arrived? It’s not very discreet of you-”

Ezekiel waved to Elizabeth, a shy smile on his face. Elizabeth waved back.

Richard swallowed hard, drinking in how gorgeous Klaude looked. His blond hair was thick and shiny, longer than Klaude usually kept it, allowing it to look fluffier than it used to. His hips, already what Richard had teased were perfectly child-bearing size, had widened, and his ass and thighs had grown with them. He didn’t let himself think too long about what his fiancé would look like stripped naked, flushed and full and no doubt covered in stretchmarks- Richard didn’t think he could take it. It was a fight not to open his mouth and say something stupid.

“My great Goddess…” Richard murmured, seeing how Klaude’s broad pecs that had started softening six months ago had grown into a proper pair of breasts. Klaude had hated when he tried to get his mouth on them before he’d really started producing milk. Richard had a feeling the next few days were either going to be absolutely thrilling or incredibly annoying to Klaude once he got his hands on him in a private room.

He spared a look at Ezekiel. As he’d imagined, the young man sported a normal eight months pregnant belly, which stuck out obviously on his thin frame. He’d filled out somewhat, now looking healthy instead of underweight, and there was more color to his face. Elizabeth was sure to be happy, at least.

Richard looked back at Klaude. As he argued with his father, his sweater rode up a bit. He was wearing something underneath, but it still made Richard feel like he was going to burst. He grabbed Elizabeth’s arm before he could explode and make Klaude hate him. “Elizabeth,” he hissed, “-Though I was teasing you before, I really just wanted to spend time with Klaude, not immediately get my hands on him, by the Divine, Klaude is so enormous and sexy. Don’t let me say something vulgar to him.”

“Uh… um, well, don’t say that to him? Goodness, he is very big, though. It might upset him.”

“Elizabeth. I’m going to die when I get my hands on him. I’m going to die if we don’t find a private room soon so I can make up for not being around to see him transform into the divine being he is now.”

She tried half-heartedly to pull away, then sighed. “I wish you wouldn’t say those kinds of things to me. The past six months have been… something else.”

“You’re the only person I can talk to about this.”

“But you sound uncouth,” she whispered back. To herself, she lamented, “I can’t believe I got used to you talking like this when it’s not teasing. I should be embarrassed.”

Teasing! Maybe that would make her understand how he was feeling. “Come on. You know you’re going to fuck Ezekiel as soon as you’re alone.”

She blushed. “We’re saving it for marriage!”

“I don’t understand you Merlynics at all. Klaude and I will be consumed with passion until you or Ezekiel drag us out for the wedding, and then we’ll be back at it until he goes into labor. In true Silvers fashion, I won’t miss a moment of these last few days. Do you think I saw my father at all before his second consort had Ronella?”

“Prince Richard, I don’t want to hear that,” she cried quietly. “Please calm down.”

Klaude had finally gotten to the doorway, but his father was using his whole body to block him, holding onto the doorway with both hands. Seeing his fiancé even closer was maddening. After six months without him, and now this-

Richard squeezed Elizabeth’s arm tight, desperate. “Seeing Klaude so hugely pregnant is without a doubt the most arousing thing I have ever witnessed. I am utterly consumed by him right now. If I don’t get my hands on him soon I am going to be sick. I am being deprived of divinity. Elizabeth-”

“I’m sure Klaude has missed you too, but really, Prince Richard. He’s right there and he’s looking at you, please contain yourself.”

“I might just have to shove you all out of the room and take him right here. I don’t think I can wait.”

“Richard!” Klaude cried. “You are completely disgusting! I can’t believe what I’m hearing!”

Richard’s heart dropped. He turned to look at Klaude, who had paused in trying to get past his father to stand stiff and red-faced. His father looked horrified, standing aside, and Ezekiel was covering his face with his hands.

“Klaude, my love, I-”

His fiancé took a few steps forward. “Shut up! What in the world is wrong with you, saying such- such depraved things in front of my family and Elizabeth?!”

“H-how much did you hear?” It wasn’t so horrible, surely, for Lord Goldsborough and Ezekiel to hear the last bit he’d said about having sex with Klaude in the study.

“You want me to repeat it?!” Klaude snarled, fists clenched at his side. “You’re sick!”

“The, uh, seeing my brother so… hugely pregnant and it being, er, arousing. That,” Ezekiel answered.

Klaude turned to stare at his brother, humiliation on his face. He huffed and hissed, “I can’t believe I actually wanted to see you!” Then, he stormed off as quickly as his pronounced waddling gait allowed, shoving past his father and brother.

“W-wait, Klaude! I’m sorry! You just look so perfect like this!”

“I hate you!” Klaude shouted back, voice cracking, not even turning to look.

Richard tried to get up. “Klaude! Please wait!” Elizabeth grabbed him and pulled him back down before he could take off after Klaude.

“Prince Richard! Don’t make things worse,” she begged. “Take a minute to settle down.”

“Argh!” Richard yelled, slumping against the back of the couch. “I can’t believe I said all that out loud!”

Lord Goldsborough cleared his throat. “Well,” he said awkwardly, “-I’m just going to make the rest of the arrangements on my own. Ezekiel, son, I’ll be in my personal study if you or your brother need me. Prince Silvers, if you require anything, my servants are at your disposal.” With that, the nobleman took off, sighing heavily as he left the room.

Ezekiel watched him go, then turned to Elizabeth with a big smile on his face. “Beth!”

Elizabeth, finally free from Richard’s grasp, got up and hurried up to him. “Zeke! I missed you so much!” She pulled him into a hug, careful not to squeeze his belly. “Are you alright? Have you been handling things okay?”

“I’m doing well. I’ve missed you too, Beth.” His eyes grew wet. “I’m so happy to have you with me again. I loved all your letters, but it wasn’t the same as having you here… I know your work in the Silvers kingdom was very important, but I still wished you were by my side every day.”

“Oh, Zeke… I’m here now! I’m never going to leave you or the baby for so long again. I mean, unless Prince Richard starts dying or something… He’s our friend, I would help him. It wouldn’t take six months again though, now that I know what to do to help him, um…”

“O-oh, yes, of course! Um, it’s nice to see you as well, Prince Silvers,” Ezekiel said to Richard.

The prince sighed. “Just ignore me and keep going with your cute reunion, Ezekiel. Don’t worry.”

“You look upset…”

“I’ll be fine soon once I figure out how to apologize to Klaude. Pretend I’m not here.” Richard waved them off, even though he felt incredibly jealous that Elizabeth got to have such a loving reunion with her fiancé. “Did Elizabeth write to you about how she’d cry sometimes because she worried about you so much?” he prompted.

“Beth…!” Ezekiel looked up at her, eyes filling with tears. He reached up to wipe them. “S-sorry, I’ve been so emotional… Oh, but you really worried so much?”

“Y-yeah, of course!”

Richard buried his face against the couch, pulling a cushion over himself.

-

After plenty of tears, sweet stories, and lots of hugging and chaste kisses that indeed made Richard rather jealous, Ezekiel and Elizabeth turned their attention to the prince again. Ezekiel peered over the edge of the couch. Richard looked up at him from where he was laying down holding onto a pillow. Seeing Ezekiel looking at him, he thought to himself that he was very lucky to have gotten with Klaude instead of his younger brother. Ezekiel’s cherubic features and timid attitude did nothing for him.

Truly, he and Elizabeth were a perfect match. Of course, he and Klaude were also a perfect match, even if Klaude hated him sometimes.

“Hello, Ezekiel.”

“Have you thought of how to apologize to my brother yet?”

In response, Richard pulled the cushion onto his face. He heard Ezekiel whisper something to Elizabeth.

Then, Ezekiel said, “You know, Klaude has really missed you. He tried to hide it, but he’s told me how much he was looking forward to you coming back, and how worried he was about you and your illness, especially when it got worse. It really scared him.”

Richard pulled the cushion down and sat up. He gave Ezekiel a confused look. “I never told Klaude about my illness getting worse. He knew about me coughing up a little blood before my father and king called me home, but I always said I was doing well in my letters to him. I didn’t want him to worry.”

Elizabeth frowned, tapping her fingers together. “I, uh… mentioned it in my letters to Ezekiel, since I kept him updated on how things were going so we could guess when I’d be coming home.”

Ezekiel rubbed the back of his neck. “And I showed Klaude those letters.”

“Why would you do that?” Richard asked.

“I thought he deserved to know, in case…”

In case he’d taken a turn for the worse. In case he’d died. “Oh.” Richard felt guilty, now that he thought about it. What if he’d ended up like his father, in a coma? His father had woken up after a few weeks and only now thanks to Elizabeth no longer required months of bed rest, but Richard knew in his case if he had ever tried to stop casting his spell or had been forced to, that he would have never woken up. Of course, it was highly unlikely he would have been lucky enough to end up in a coma. If his illness had progressed to the point that he couldn’t cast his spell, he would have most certainly just died. Probably on the spot.

If that had happened, and Ezekiel hadn’t been telling Klaude- if he’d believed that things were always going well like Richard had been assuring in all of his letters, then him dying would have come from nowhere. It would have caused a problem, then, if Ezekiel had known but hadn’t warned his brother.

With Ezekiel telling his brother about all of Elizabeth’s updates, but with his own letters assuring that nothing was wrong, Richard wondered if Klaude had thought things were even worse than they were. If he had someone telling him Klaude was ill, but Klaude saying he wasn’t, he would suspect that Klaude was far more ill than he was being told. And with Klaude knowing that Elizabeth was a bit oblivious at times and not very good at picking up on secrets, and knowing that his brother hated to upset him, it was safe to bet that Klaude had assumed whatever Ezekiel said was at least half as bad as what was really wrong.

“By the Divine…” Richard mumbled. If Klaude had spent the past six months worrying about his health while also dealing with a twin pregnancy by himself, it was no wonder he’d reacted badly to Richard being a fool in front of him. Though it certainly wasn’t his intention, knowing how Klaude took things, his fiancé had most likely thought that he didn’t care about his feelings.

He really needed to work on letting Klaude know he really did love him, and not just physically. It was hard, though, with how excited he got being around him. He made a fool of himself and spoke like he was flirting or started saying outright vulgar things. Even in other matters, his sister and father had scolded him for sounding too sarcastic or playful or being rude.

Well, he couldn’t help that his default was being very happy all the time. Maybe he could annoy Klaude into believing him by repeating that he loved him for more than his body so many times that it would infuriate him.

“Please don’t try to talk things out with my brother by driving him crazy until he screams at you and has no choice but to give up and believe you,” Ezekiel pleaded.

“How did you-”

“Prince Richard, we know you. We’re friends. You’ve done it before. I know it works, but it stresses Klaude out. And Father and Klaude will be very upset if you stress him out too much. Klaude actually wants to have a semi-normal wedding before he gives birth.”

“So try to come up with something else, okay? Klaude is probably stressed out now…” Elizabeth added. “Do you want us to come along as support?”

“If you come along I’ll default to teasing you and Klaude will think I’m not being serious.”

“He knows you’re never serious,” Ezekiel assured. “He gets over it.”

Richard stood up and pouted. “But I want him to know I really am being serious this time!”

Elizabeth came and patted his back. “Give it a good try!”

“I will!” He headed for the door but stopped two steps out of it. He turned to Ezekiel. “Uh, where do you think Klaude is?”

“I’ll take you to his room.”

-

Ezekiel brought Richard to his brother’s bedroom door and then left with Elizabeth to his own room. Richard knocked on the door and then pushed it open. Klaude never welcomed him into a room, even if he wasn’t upset with him.

“Klaude?” he asked, stepping into the room.

There was a sniffle, and then Klaude answered, “Richard?” The man was sitting on a small sofa placed underneath a window that had its thick curtains drawn. He had a handkerchief in one hand that he was holding up to his tear-stained face. His other hand was on his heavy belly, rubbing circles against it. “What are you doing here?”

Richard forced down his shock at seeing Klaude crying. “I came to apologize for how I acted earlier.”

Klaude scoffed and looked away from him. “Of course.”

“I got too excited. I, uh, didn’t expect to see you… expecting more than one child?”

“I’m carrying twins,” Klaude confirmed. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“It was very surprising.” Richard hadn’t expected that from Klaude. The blond wasn’t fond of surprises. He set that aside for later. “I’m sorry I embarrassed and upset you. I was thrilled to see you. I’m very happy to see you again. I missed you a lot.”

“...I missed you as well.” Klaude dabbed at his eyes.

Richard went and sat next to him. With his thumb, he brushed under Klaude’s eyes. Taking Klaude’s other hand, he continued, “And I’m sorry I lied to you in my letters. I should have told you when I was ill.”

Klaude crumpled, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

Bringing up Klaude’s hand, Richard pressed his lips to it. “I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t know Elizabeth was telling Ezekiel everything. That he was telling you. I should have been telling you myself, so you knew exactly what was happening.”

“I- I thought you would die. Elizabeth said you might have to stop your magic, but that- And you were gone for so long. When I heard things were settled in the Silvers kingdom, but neither of you mentioned coming back…” Klaude sobbed a bit. “I thought you might not…”

“There was a point where it got so bad my father considered having me break the spell when I couldn’t breathe properly or eat at all, but Elizabeth figured out how to help, and I got better. I’m better than I’ve ever been since my illness first started.” Richard wrapped an arm around Klaude and pulled him close. Klaude rested his head against his chest. “It’s not completely healed, it won’t be unless I can somehow break the spell and sleep again. But Elizabeth healed the damage it caused, and due to reforms I could release a portion of people to lessen the spell, and with Elizabeth’s excess magic, the spell causes far less damage. There’s no more blood, and I can eat without much pain.”

Klaude made a small noise and nodded against him. Richard squeezed his hand.

“I really did miss you. It was lonely, not having you to talk to. Not being able to chip at your shell until you snap at me or I manage to make you laugh. Not being there with you for our children.” He rubbed Klaude’s belly. “I regret that I couldn't be with you for most of the pregnancy.”

“You're here. I was so scared that you wouldn’t come back to me. That's all I’ve wanted.” Klaude’s hand came to rest on top of Richard’s own. Richard kissed the top of his head, closing his eyes and relishing the weight and warmth of Klaude in his arms. It wasn't often that he got to hold him, not with Klaude’s height and usual aversion to affection. And he was enjoying it.

Klaude sighed, relaxing against him. His breathing evened out and slowed. Richard rubbed lazy circles against the side of his belly. He hoped he'd be able to touch him without any layers of clothing in the way, but he didn't want to ruin their moment.

Before he'd left, Klaude rarely wanted to cuddle with him. Now that Richard had him dozing off in his arms, he never wanted him to leave. It was wonderful. He hoped that Klaude would want more affection from then on. Maybe being pregnant and worrying about losing him would make Klaude a bit clingy.

Richard made a mental note to pray for it, and to pray that their children would enjoy extra affection as well. Though he adored Klaude and loved the challenge of breaking through his serious exterior, he wasn't sure if he had the energy to wear at two more Klaudes. While he certainly had the determination to, it might not be matched by what he was physically capable of.

The children were bound to take after him in some way, surely.

Resting his cheek against Klaude’s head, Richard exhaled and thought to himself that he was very thankful to be back with his fiancé after so long. He wasn't sure how he had managed.

He wished he could fall asleep with Klaude, but settling back and keeping his eyes closed was close enough.

Just as he relaxed, Klaude shifted and sat up. Richard opened his eyes to see that Klaude was scrubbing at his face.

“Ugh… I feel like such a mess after I cry,” Klaude grumbled. “I can only imagine how splotchy and awful I look.”

“Oh, it’s not bad,” Richard assured him. Sure, he was a bit splotchy and his eyes were puffy. But that was a given with how pale Klaude was, and Richard didn’t think it looked awful at all. The sight of him so heavily pregnant and having so obviously cried tugged at Richard’s protective instincts and made him feel guilty all over for having scared the other man so much. He wanted to wrap his arms tight around Klaude and smother him, keep him safe and happy all to himself, but let that stay a fantasy.

Instead of making Klaude upset by doing something foolish, Richard pulled out a fresh handkerchief of his own and wiped the last traces of tears from his face. Once Klaude was satisfied that he wasn’t so ‘messy,’ he leaned back against the back of the sofa and spread his legs to make room for his belly. Comfortable, he gave his belly a rub and then pulled up his sweater and the shirt he was wearing underneath it to expose his entire abdomen.

Richard bit his tongue before he could ruin anything by running his mouth again.

Klaude’s belly was flushed pink around the belly button with its tightness and covered with angry stretch marks all over. It was astonishing how Klaude’s abdomen had expanded and his skin stretched to hold their children and his new weight.

Watching Klaude rub his own belly, Richard was frozen. He didn’t want to disturb the blond, make him tug his sweater back down. As he stared, he noticed that Klaude avoided touching his popped belly button. It was probably sensitive, the prince reasoned, with how Klaude’s body seemed to be struggling to contain itself.

Glancing at Richard, Klaude seemed to notice him again and blushed, his hands stilling. “It- it feels nicer, like this.” Richard just nodded, swallowing. Klaude’s face reddened even more, but he lifted his hands and offered, “Do you want to feel-”

His hands were on Klaude before he even finished asking. His belly was warm and firm, and Richard applied just a bit of pressure to see how it felt.

“Mm- j-just be gentle, alright?”

“Will I feel them move?” Richard asked.

“They haven’t been terribly active recently… there’s not much room.”

As if to prove him wrong, Richard felt a shift under his hand and then a kick. “Oh! Hello there, little one.” He leaned forward and rested his head on Klaude’s belly. When he almost immediately felt a hand carding through his hair, he grinned like a fool. To the babies, he said, “I hope Klaude’s been telling you two good things about me. Actually, I hope he’s at least mentioned me. Even if it was just about how worried he was-”

“I was not worried,” Klaude insisted, embarrassed.

There was another shift and kick.

“Even they can tell when you’re lying, Klaude!”

“You’ve got them both riled… “

“They’re just excited to hear me.” He turned his head so he could look up at Klaude. “I’ll try not to excite them too much. Wouldn’t do to get them so excited to meet me that they come out before the wedding.”

“Exactly.” Klaude gave him a glare but then yawned.

Richard sat up. “Tired, love?”

“Always. Your children have been a menace to my sleep schedule. I’ve never taken so many naps in my life.”

Richard pulled Klaude against his chest. “How about a nap with me before dinner, then?”

“Hm, I suppose that would be nice. I’d rather not sleep on this couch, though.”

“To the bed, then.” He helped Klaude up and wrapped an arm around his waist to support him. When Klaude went to pull his sweater down, Richard caught his hand and went, “Ah-ah! I’m not done saying hello to the children just yet. We’re going to keep talking while you get some rest.”

Klaude scoffed. “I’m sure that’s your intention. But… well, just make sure it’s comfortable, my prince, or I won’t be happy when I’m exhausted.”

“I accept your challenge, my lord.”

[praphit]

F9: What does Absurdity even mean anymore?

Due to COVID, I thought that my last movie theater experience was going to be "Bad Boys For Life". I'm happy to say that if I died today, I would be telling souls in Heaven that "F9" was the last movie I saw on the big screen (I'm sure that films are big talking points in the after life).

There weren't too many people there:

There was a woman coughing in the corner; I barely looked at her. I imagined that COVID was mugging her, and I didn't want to be a witness, and so have COVID come after me next. I'm vaxxed, but still I was thinking of ways to distract COVID, so I could enjoy the film. There was an old couple sitting up front (like REALLY OLD... sitting UP FRONT... Ha! that's awesome). Awesome or not, I was going to point them out if COVID came after me. There were two obese kids sitting a few rows behind me that I could also point out, as well as my friend that I was sitting next to... what?? Look, they would ALL want me to escape, so I could bring my "F9" review to the people!

WHAT??!

Let's not talk about my survival skills, let's talk some Vin & the Fam - that's why we're here!

It took a while for me to remember what was going on:

Dom (Vin), Letty (M. Rod), and their... kid? Oh, right, they have a kid, and they moved on to start a new life together. 

Didn't the real mom die or something?? Idk. You've got the British lady from "GOT" still hanging out with Luda and Tyrese. 

(they so crazy)

"Hobbs and Shaw" are still gone 

(making their own money, cuz bleep family!). 

Brian (Paul Walker's character - rip) is apparently, now everyone's babysitter. So, if anyone in this gang, who could die on any of these missions, ever have kids, they can just send them off to Nanny Brian's. 

There's a dude named Mr. Nobody who sometimes sends the gang on secret spy missions.

Oh, and people in the gang keep coming back from the dead. Boom! We're caught up with this absurdity. That's actually what I asked for when I got to the movies 

"Give me one ticket for Absurdity please."

In this batch of the absurd, we find out that Dom has a brother, and he's John Cena (Jakob). 

Charlize Theron is back! That must have been the worst bet that she has ever lost. I consider her to be one of the most underrated and underappreciated actors we've got, but movies like these ain't helping that case.

And who's idea was it to give her that haircut? - part of the bet she lost, I suppose. 

It was reported that the gang goes into space (at least two of them do). 

Annnnd the X-Men Jet is back! 

(it really does look like that - Wolverine included)

Seriously, after the X-Men's last two movies (which were turrrible), I was expecting them to crossover for a fresh start. Why not?? They're a spy team now, that goes to space! - nothing should be off the table.

They're looking for two halves of some... war sphere?? If put back together with some key... idk... John Cena rules the world.

Remember when Vin and the gang were all about street racing, money, survival, and brown booty? - those were simpler times!

But, why discuss the plot? Seriously, why? None of it makes any sense. From Dom and Letty living like Amish people (which is an ending worse than death for action heroes) 

to their convoluted explanation for bringing the latest person back from the dead (which reminds me of a married couple, when the husband or wife get caught watching porn, and try to explain that it was just a pop-up that came out of nowhere. The other spouse gulps their glass of wine and plows forward - that was me with this - gulping my soda (with a lil Henny) saying "whatever guys, let's please just move on".

and  what's going on with the two brother's is a thin thread at best. AND the villain's motivation...  

But, it's foolish to get into that., and take points off. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, but it ain't for the story. Let's grade "F9" by its own standards:

Racing, Action, and Family (they graduated from booty to family):

Racing

They've done the racing in a small city thing before, but this time it's with magnets! - SUPER MAGNETS!

YES!

I loved this! Cars are getting sucked into magnets. They're using them to make people fly away and explode. Which btw, they did my man Francis Ngannou wrong (an mma fighter). There's a fight scene with a giant white dude on top of a speeding vehicle. That giant white dude could have and should have been the role for Francis, instead he's just here to say high, and then blow up. As much as I loved these scenes, they were too quick in some areas. I think if they had slowed some of the magnet stuff down a bit, we could appreciate more what's happening.

Action

M.Rod is legit. 

She needs her own franchise. The only action star I enjoyed more than her was Vin, and that's really due to the absurdity of one scene. Do y'all remember the "Civil War" scene when Captain America has one hand on a building and another pulling back a helicopter?? 

It's the same level of strength needed for what Vin does in some underground chambers. You can see a bit of it in the trailer. He pulls the whole place down, and then, just like in "Civil War", he ends up in the water (but unconscious). Oh, and he does this after beating up like 50 people at once. Ha! I love it! Then, how he is rescued (cuz c'mon, he can't die) is splendidly preposterous, and I mean that is a complimentary way. That scene is perfection.

The only action that bothers me comes from Dom's sister (mia). 

She just doesn't sell being a fighter, but whatever. No disrespect... she’s beautiful, but... her hair might weigh more than the rest of her body.

Apparently, the highest trained fighters (agents) in the world (who have GUNS) never trained for a unskilled, unprepared, 110 lb woman in her 40's with a frying pan.

Family & Corona

Tyrese and Luda are always funny, but their act is growing a bit thin. It actually felt like an act this time around. I think it's time to add another black man in the mix; perhaps one who's older than they are... TRACY MORGAN?

Throw an OG in there and it'll freshen things up again. I do like though how Tyrese is starting to suspect that they might be immortals. I think they should test that theory out in the next movie; maybe have Tyrese break the fourth wall, kinda like Deadpool, as he realizes this is just a dumbass movie.

Dom and Letty's kid... terrible. I'm sorry! This is a bias of mine, but kids normally suck at acting. This one is no exception. Just get an older actor to play the young kid. I'm thinking Ryan Reynolds would have been a good choice.

You may be saying "that's absurd!" - I'm glad that y'all can still tell what that word means, cuz I can't.

The rest of the chemistry family magic is great!

Oh, and Cardi is here, but... barely (for like 30 seconds, if that). 

No rapping, no wapping, no cursing... kind of a waste of Cardi B, if you ask me.

John Cena aka Jakob with a K!

Meh. JC def has charisma, just not in this movie. He doesn't stand out at all. You know?? - The Rock, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, etc all have a presence about them in this franchise. Cena?! what happened, buddy?

There are certain music artists whom you'd think would have a great personality based off their music and how they dress. But, then you meet them, and you realize that they're just normal bozos like you and I (only rich and famous). And normal bozos like you and I, AT TIMES can be boring. You gotta have some flair if you're not going to have personality. Give my man some pink glittery highlights, a face tat, some vampire teeth, and maybe a chainsaw for his left arm or something.

Grade: Good action. The absurdities were funny. I was entertained! Production was great! BUT it's getting tired, my friends. It's the same formula that I've mentioned and then, like always, they're grilling and drinking Corona's in the sun. After nine movies (with at least two more on the way)... I never thought I'd say this, but it's actually not absurd enough. Wait... I seriously can't believe I just said that.

I need to say that again to know it's real.

This movie wasn't absurd.. enough? ENOUGH. IT WASN'T! They're going to need to step it up for the next two.

They were in space, but not for long. They raced for the most part in regular cars (regular for them). . You only brought ONE person back from the dead??! C'mon! We can do better.

I'm giving it an entertaining C+

I like that we saw different younger Dom's (during flashbacks) through time. I think that the next type of vehicle they bust out should be a DeLorean.

Y'all feel me?? TIME TRAVEL, baby! 

Vin and the gang race through time! They can have Tracy Morgan. They'll each have a younger version (or older) of themselves join the group. Cardi B will actually do something this time - maybe turn into a car! 

And maybe Cable shows up as they tie it to Marvel.

Think bigger, Vin!

[villainousshakespeare]

Family Night

Tom Hiddleston/Fem!Reader RPF

Warnings: some angst, family drama, squabbling, fluff, feels, warmth, love, implied future smut After reconnecting on the set of In The Timing, Tom wants you to meet his family. How bad could it be?

I am feeling soft and fragile this week, so I had the urge to drop in on this couple and see a little slice of their life. Just some feels and a little bit of angst, but lots of love.

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @alexakeyloveloki @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @ciaodarknessmyheart @frostbitten-written @grufflepuff-writes-stuff @hiddlesholic @hopelessromanticspoonie @kellatron55 @myoxisbroken @nonsensicalobsessions @poetic-fiasco @redfoxwritesstuff @shiningloki @shae-annelore​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @wolfsmom1​ @yespolkadotkitty​

"I've changed my mind. I don't think this is a good idea," you said nervously as the car pulled into the driveway of a nice house in the suburbs of Oxford.

"Darling, relax," Tom sighed, shifting the jag into park and turning his devastatingly blue eyes on you. "Everything is going to be fine. They'll love you."

"I don't know how you can say that," you fretted. "Your mother hates me!"

"Correction," he grinned, "she hated you. Past tense. But back then you were the evil siren who had seduced her baby boy into a hedonistic life of sin he was too young and naïve to be prepared to resist, putting his entire bright and shiny future at risk."

"This is not helping!"

"Now though," he continued, ignoring your interruption, "you are the brilliant author of her favorite novels, and the screenwriter who has single handedly elevated her perfectly grown up boy to new heights of acclaim."

"I am the same person though!"

"I know that darling. I have inspected you very closely to catalogue that all of you is, indeed, just as I remember it from our first meeting-"

"With a few more pounds," you muttered.

"And you are exactly as perfect as I remember, if not more so. My mother, on the other hand, has a more selective memory."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, that by this time I am sure she has managed to convince herself that she always loved you, and wanted only for us to end up happily together."

You gave him a hard look, wanting to believe the slightly smug smile that tilted his lips but having a hard time doing so. Mrs. Hiddleston had definitely not approved of you all those years ago, and you doubted time would make her forget. You couldn't really blame the woman. You yourself had been convinced that the difference in your ages and circumstances had been an insurmountable barrier to your relationship. Tom had been a young student, just out of university and about to begin intensive training to become an actor. You were years older and already settled into your life as a writer, although you had yet to have much success at it. While the passion between you was undeniable, you had let your insecurity lead you to end the relationship.

Now, years later, situations had altered. Tom was indeed all grown up and an international movie star to boot, as you had always known he could be. You were still older of course, but the difference in your ages seemed less significant now that you were both established in the world. Everything had changed, except for the fire that still sprang to light when you were in the same room. That miracle had somehow managed to survive the separation, reigniting stronger than ever when your paths crossed again to make the movie you had written drawing inspiration in part from your love for him. For the millionth time you thanked whatever gods might be listening for giving you a second chance with this man.

"Come on, best face the fire and get it over with," he said, getting out of the car and trotting to your side to open your door like the perfect gentleman he pretended to be. Only you knew better.

"What fire? I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"

"Merely a metaphor love. Besides, my sisters and their families are here, so that should smooth things over."

"Yeah, that's going to make me feel less nervous," you groused.

Tom held the door open and ushered you into the house, steering to the left and into a cozy, tastefully decorated living room.

"Mum, we're here!" he bellowed as he helped you out of your coat and hung it with his on a peg in the hall.

"Uncle Yay Monster!!!!"

A quick thunder of steps was heard as a small child hurtled down the stairs and straight into the impossibly long legs of your companion.  Tom laughed with genuine joy as he tousled the curly blond hair and attempted to pry the arms from around his legs. When he finally freed himself, it was only to swing the young girl, you guessed she was around 6, up into his arms for a bear hug that should have crushed her. Only your knowledge of how deceptively gentle he could be kept you from fearing for the child.

"Hello Pip!" he said, lifting her higher to balance on his shoulders. "Miss me?"

"Yes! Daddy's not as tall as you are!"

"Oh, so that's all I'm good for, is it? A better view? You women are heartless!" Tom winced as two little hands grabbed clutches of his hair, tugging for balance.

"No, not all. You also bring me presents!"

"Presents? What presents?" he made his voice baffled.

"Uncle Tom, you did bring me something, didn't you?" the shameless child wheedled.

"Maybe... grab my knapsack, would you?" he asked you.

As you moved to pick up the bag from where he had dropped it, you felt the girl's eyes focus on you as she suddenly realize she and her beloved uncle were not alone in the room.

"Who are you?" she asked with that directness only children could get away with.

Trying to hide your nerves, seriously how could you be nervous of a six year old? you introduced yourself, smiling up at her. From her lofty perch the girl regarded you as if you were an intruder into her realm and she was not sure whether to welcome you or order your beheading.

"Why is she here?" she asked Tom, who was moving from foot to foot in order to bounce her.

"Mind your manners, Pip," he scolded with a laugh. "She's a friend of mine. A very special friend."

"Gran did say you were bringing someone... I had thought she meant Luke."

"Why would I bring Luke to a family dinner?"

"Well, he's almost like family," she whined.

Tom swung the now squirming child off of his shoulders and hunched down to look at her more closely. You could see the disappointment in her face, and from the slight stain of her cheeks you had a sudden flash that her irritation was not so much at your inclusion than at the publicist's absence.

"Oh, Luke is fun, isn't he?" you asked, earning yourself a quick, incredulous look from Tom. "It's a shame he couldn't come tonight."

"He is!" the little girl turned her attention to you with a smile. "He scolds Uncle Yay Monster, and sometimes gets cross at him, but he's always very polite to me. He says that I'm the only Hiddleston who knows how to behave!"

"Shows what he knows," Tom huffed under his breath, making you struggle not to laugh.

"He's a very smart man," you nodded, ignoring your beau. "The first time I met him he said that he hoped I might be able to keep your uncle in line. I haven't had much luck so far. But to honest I don't really want to. I rather like it when he misbehaves. Sometimes."

"Me too," she admitted after a moment. "But don't tell Luke that!"

"I promise, it will stay between us," you said solemnly.

"I guess you can stay then," she decided. "Now, what did you bring me?"

"Greedy little Pip!"

"Pip?" you asked.

"Short for pipsqueak," Tom supplied with a grin.

"My name," she said with all the maturity of a duchess, "is Emilia. Only he calls me Pip. And only because he refuses to stop, even though I am much too old for that name now."

"Well, then I will call you Emilia. It's a very pretty name. Much more suitable than Pip."

"Traitor," Tom accused as he fished through his bag.

"I thought I heard voices!"

Emilia was squealing over her Shuri action figure, autographed on her feet, when a small group of adults entered the room. The family resemblance between Tom and his sisters was unmistakable. Fair haired and blue eyed, they were a classically attractive British family. Tom affectionately hugged both women with genuine warmth before moving on to the two men hanging slightly back and also gripping them in embraces. You stood aside and let the voices wash over you for a moment before he Tom turned back you and raised an eyebrow, drawing you to his side.

"Allow me to introduce my family. My sisters, Sarah and Emma, and their poor, beleaguered spouses Yakov and Jack."

"Hi," you managed. "Nice to meet you all."

"Oh, I love your books!" Sarah gushed, easing your mind a bit that the first response was positive.

"So, this is the woman we've heard so little about!" Emma, the younger of the two women said with a familiar grin.

"I've told you about her!" he insisted.

"You'll have to excuse Tom," Sarah told you with a roll of her eyes. "He loves to stoke the drama by being mysterious."

"I didn't realize I was such a secret," you said, glancing at him.

"They're grossly overstating things," he replied.

"No such thing. Tom never brings his women home. Not that there have been a lot of women," Sarah hastened to add.

Emma nodded. "And never for more than -"

"Three months!" they said in unison.

"Shut it!" Tom warned eloquently.

"Ah, the three month rule," Emma sighed dramatically, reminding you of her brother. "Give them just enough time to become fatally attached, poor deluded things, and then kick them to the curb."

"We never even get to meet most of them. He's always been that way. Ever since the woman."

"Sarah," Tom's voice was a warning.

"The woman?" you asked at the same time.

"Years ago, no one for you to worry about now!" she insisted quickly.

"Some older woman who broke his heart. Poor boy was never the same since. Not that he was such a catch before, mind you," Emma put in.

"That's enough," Tom snapped.

"Ooh, Tommy's angry!" Emma teased. "What was her name? Sarah do you remember?"

"Let me think," the older sister tilted her head to the side.

"No need," you decided to end the torture. "Um... it was me."

"What?" two sets of blue eyes stared at you while Tom ran his hand down his face.

"Can we maybe sit down now and talk like adults?" he asked in a pained voice.

"Oh, I need to hear this!" Emma said, falling into a chair.

Tom closed his eyes briefly and pulled you to his side on one of the comfortable sofas. You gave him a week smile and drew strength from the way his hand squeezed yours.

"Yes, alright," he said with a sigh. "Let's not all make a big deal out of this. We dated years ago. It was not an ideal break up -"

"I'll say," Sarah interrupted. "You cried for months!"

"I did not cry for - that is not the point. We met again on the set of the film, and the feelings were still there. We've been back together ever since."

"That would be so romantic if it wasn't about Tom!" Emma cooed.

"I think it's plenty romantic with anyway, thank you very much," he replied.

"I don't know what to think," Sarah said. "On the one hand, I swore if I ever met the woman who hurt my baby brother so badly I would beat the stuffing out of her. On the other... well, he does look fairly happy now."

"I am very happy now, so there will be no beating of anyone!"

"I really didn't mean to hurt him," you demurred. "I just thought the timing wasn't right."

"And I disagreed," Tom said through gritted teeth. "However, we both concur that the timing is impeccable now, so here we are."

"Wait, does your mother know?" Jack asked, interrupting the sibling banter for the first time. All eyes swung to him and he raised his hands defensively. "What? I know I'm the newest one, or was until now, but even I have heard of that woman who broke her baby's heart."

"I knew this was a bad idea!" you groaned.

"Well, it's not as though we had many alternatives," Tom shrugged philosophically. "You could hardly just never meet my mother if we are going to be together."

"I'm sure we could make it work some how," you said in a panic.

"Oh, don't worry about mum," Emma waved off your concern breezily. "Once she sees how dopy the Little Prince is over you, she'll come round soon enough."

"I'm just excited that Tom finally has a partner!" Sarah grinned.

"A partner for what?" you asked, a new sinking feeling hitting you.

"Game night of course!" Sarah answered.

"There are too many of us not to play partners, not if we ever want to go to bed," Emma explained, "but poor Tommy never has anyone for his team."

"Not since he made Mum cry that one time," Sarah added.

"I did not make her cry!"

"Yes you did!" his sisters said in unison.

"He made Luke swear once," Emilia added in from where she sat, previously forgotten by the grownups, introducing Shuri to Loki and Peter Parker figures. "I heard it all the way up in my room!"

"Pip! Hush! You're supposed to be on my side!" Tom told her.

"I thought it was funny," she giggled.

"Well, yes, so did I," he admitted, "but that's not the point."

"The last time he brought Bobby and said the dog was going to be his partner," Yakov sniggered.

"As I recall, we won anyway," Tom said superiorly. "I don't need a partner to beat the lot of you. Of course, I am glad to have you anyway, darling."

"I can't say the feeling is necessarily mutual," you looked at him in dawning horror.

"It shouldn't be," Emma mouthed at you in an exaggerated stage whisper. "

"Mr. Bossy Pants doesn't like loosing, you see," Emma told you gleefully.

"But he looooooves rules!" Sarah added.

"Well, there's no point without rules!"

"You are such a tight ass!" Emma mocked.

"Just because you're damn squib when it comes to games has to cheat to win!"

"Thomas William Hiddleston, how dare you talk to your sister that way!"

All heads turned to the entryway where a stylish woman of advancing years stood, arms on hips, looking fierce despite her red apron. Tom stood and took a step forward, face flushing as he realized his mother had caught him out.

"That's right, you tell him!" Emma couldn't seem to resist saying.

"Hush Emma," the matriarch said to her younger daughter, "I have no doubt you were provoking him."

"See, she always takes his side!" Sarah pointed out to you.

"That's because you two always gang up on me!"

"Stop it all of you, or do you all have to go sit on the naughty step for a time out?"

All three Hiddleston children looked mutinous, but held their peace as their mother stared them down.

"Some day you will have to teach me how to do that," Jack sighed wistfully.

"I'm afraid it wouldn't work for you dear," she smiled at him. "You have to be a mother. Now, Tom, would you like to introduce me to your friend?"

"Of course," Tom seized the change in conversation and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you to your feet like an overzealous puppy. "Mum, I know you've been telling me you wanted to meet the woman who had made me sound so happy on the phone. Well, here she is!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hiddleston," you lied, smiling anxiously.

"Oh, please, call me Diana," she smiled, moving in to hug you. "From what I've gleaned from my son, you are practically part of the family all ready."

"She certainly is," he agreed, beaming. "And I want no more jokes about three month rules or mystery dates."

"Oh, have the girls been giving Tom a hard time?" Diana sighed, rolling her eyes at her children. "They do love to needle him."

"It's good for him," Sarah opined. "Helps to counteract all that Sexiest Man Alive nonsense to hear from people who know the truth."

"Not to mention it's proper payback for the therapy bills from having to see our brother's arse on the big screen every time we go to the movies."

"Mum..." Tom wheedled.

"Alright girls, that's enough in front of Tom's friend. So, you two met on the set of the film? I love your writing by the way! Did Tom tell you I was the one who suggested he go after that project?"

"He did," you confirmed.

"From the moment I read your books, I couldn't help but think of my Tom. Well, perhaps not in the steamier scenes... I confess I had to skip those. I'm not a prude you understand, it's just in this case..."

"I understand completely!" you interjected as her children shuddered and squirmed.

"Good. I just couldn't get past the idea that the stories were written specifically with him in mind!"

"Well, actually," you took a deep breath, deciding to face the fire head on, just as Tom suggested, "they were."

"Oh, you mean you were a fan of his work?" she smiled. "I can understand that. He is rather charming on screen, at least in the movies where he is not forced into some ridiculous wig."

"No," licked your lips nervously and glanced at Tom.

"You see Mum," he took over, taking your clammy hand in his firm, warm embrace, "we had met before. In point of fact, you two have met before."

"Oh, Tom, don't be silly. I would remember that!"

"Oh, I think you do," he grinned, making you wonder if he'd gone mad. "It was the first time you dropped by my apartment at RADA. You hadn't called, and I thought you were the pizza deliveryman."

"Oh dear," Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose as you cringed in memory.

"Now Tom, the only woman I ever met at your apartment was that dreadful... oh!"

"Indeed," he nodded.

"You mean you were..."

"I'm afraid so," you mumbled, staring at the floor.

"But you were so old," she said. "So much older than my Tommy."

"Real tactful, Mum," Emma commented.

"I am older than him," you confirmed.

"But you don't look it all," Diana said, looking from you to her son. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that Tom was at least your age, if not older."

"Thanks, Mum."

"It's all that time in the sun," Sarah said. "I've told you to put on sunblock."

"I do."

"Children," Diana said, voice crisp with command, "the table needs setting."

Clearly knowing when fun time was over, Sarah and Emma jumped to their feet and with startling alacrity were out of the room, husbands in tow. Tom put his arm around your waist and stubbornly stood firm in a power stance, glaring at his mother.

"You too, Tom," she told him quietly.

"It does not take five people to set a table," his voice was just as soft.

"Then you can make the salad. We all know from that silly addvert you filmed that you know how to do that at least."

"It's okay, Tom," you told him as he geared up to protest again. "I'll be fine."

"Of course she will. Emilia, don't think I don't see you there. Go with your uncle and make sure he doesn't cut himself on any of the knifes."

You could tell that Tom wanted to protest further, but with his niece staring up at him adorably he was unable to do so. At last, with a disgruntled grunt, he lifted Emilia back onto his shoulders and harrumphed off towards the kitchen.

"Please, have a seat."

Diana gestured to one of the highbacked chairs. You perched on the edge as though prepared to fly off at any moment. The older woman settled herself straight backed in the seat across from you and looked you over carefully.

"So, you're her," she said at last. "I must confess, you look quite different in my memory."

"It was some time ago," you mumbled.

"A decade and a half. You broke his heart when you left him you know. He never really got over it. Oh, he dated of course. Actresses, popstars, but his heart was never in it."

"I never got over it either," you confessed, tears fighting to form in your eyes. "I loved him very much, even back then."

"But you left him."

"I did."

"Why?" she seemed very intent as she held your gaze. This mattered, you knew. Deeply.

"Because I loved him," you admitted. "I loved him from that first night. But he's Tom, and was even back then. He was brilliant, and driven, and had the whole world spread out in front of him."

"He did. I thought you were going to stand in the way of all of that. Be a distraction."

"I would have. If you know Tom, and of course you do, you know he is incapable of doing anything by half measure. If he committed himself to me, he would have gone all in. How would he be able to do that and gain the experience he needed?"

"He wouldn't have."

"I agree. He would have missed out on all the adventures waiting for him. And he would have secretly resented me, maybe even hated me for it."

"I don't know about that," Diana said, thinking it over, "but I would have. Yes, I can admit that. He was always destined for greatness, that boy. His father and I knew it from a very young age. When he told me about you, I thought you were an opportunist. Using an up and coming young boy for all the things that an older woman would. When you dumped him, well I just assumed..."

"That I had gotten bored with him?" you guessed.

"Well, yes I suppose. But that wasn't it at all. You weren't being dismissive, you were being protective. You put Tom's needs above your own."

"I don't know that I was being all that altruistic," you laughed. "Being tied to someone who resented me didn't seem like all that much fun for me either in the long run. But yes, I wanted what was best for him."

"Of course he couldn't see that. He's always been a stubborn boy. But now, after all this time..."

"It was like fate," you blurted out. "I know that sounds hokey, but it was as though the universe wanted us to end up together."

"Maybe it did."

"Then you're not upset?"

"My dear," she said, "I have watched my son his whole life. He is not an easy man in many ways. He is elusive, competitive, bossy, and highly driven. His standards for others are only exceeded by his standards for himself. If you have managed to maintain his interest, not to mention his heart, for all this time, who am I to gainsay that? Yes, I objected to your relationship in the past. You were correct about the opportunities he would have missed out on. But it's different now. Tom is a man, and well established in the world. He can pick and choose his projects to a great extent, and has the clout in the industry to set his own terms. If that includes bringing his wife on a shoot, or scheduling so that it fits in with her schedule, well, good for him."

"Wife?" you squeaked. "There's been no talk of that!"

"Oh, just wait. As I said, I know my son. He is not one to let the grass grow under his feet. If he is introducing you to all of us, and I admit, we can be a trial, then his plans are not of the short term variety."

"I want to be the flower girl!" a high pitched, excited voice called from the hallway.

"Emilia! Were you eaves dropping?" Diana exclaimed.

"Only because they told me to!" the little girl poked her head in to say.

"For the love of... if you'll excuse me, I have some children to reprimand."

"Of course," you said with a small chuckle.

"But first," you were suddenly embraced in a warm, maternal hug, "allow me to officially welcome you to the family. You have your work cut out for you. But please, for me sake, try to get him to cut his hair, or at least buy a new outfit. We are all heartily sick of The Uniform."

With a last squeeze, Diana got up and headed for the kitchen, leaving you shaken on the couch. Tom had been right, you had faced your fear, and the worst had not happened. In fact, things had gone better than you ever hoped for.

"Everything alright, love?" he asked, stepping in from a side door that you hadn't realized was there.

"Everything is wonderful!" you smiled tearily at him.

"See, I told you she'd love you!"

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be getting scolded?" you asked, coming into his arms.

"Ah, well. Every good obnoxious brother knows all the escape routes. I slipped out as soon as heard footsteps. By the time Mum finds me, she will be worn out from dealing with the others. Classic technique! Time tested."

"You must have been a terror," you laughed.

"Oh, most definitely," he agreed happily. "But now I'm your terror. And I assure you my sisters are very happy to have me off of their hands."

"I'll bet."

Tom grinned, and then kissed you soundly, making you forget for a moment the large family argument doubtless going on in the other room. He had a way of taking every thought from your head except for how perfect it felt to be in his arms, pressed against him. When he finally pulled away, you were both breathing hard and more than a little excited.

"Best stop that for the time," he said regretfully. "Or we'll be in for it even more."

"You're probably right," you had to admit. Then a thought struck you and you couldn't resist a giggle. "Tom?"

"Yes love?" he asked, kissing your neck.

"What's the naughty step?"

"Just wait until everyone else goes to bed tonight," he told you, head in his voice, "and I'll show you."

[noonaduck]

A boy who cried a wolf

Pairing: human Jungkook x werewolf reader genre: fluff,smut, Supernatural au, fantasy au, angst if u look with microscope  warnings: SEX Words: 10662 A/N: I’m finally happy to present this fic for you guys. I have been working on it for ages and I’m really satisfied with the results. Summary: Once upon a time there was a boy who cried the wolf and the wolf who loved the boy. The wolf was ready to risk everything to be with her human and they boy was ready to face the world he never knew existed. Butterfly Effect m.list

[Gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Long time ago in a far away land was a village which was only separated by small meadow from  big and dark forest. There was many stories where someone has entered the forest and never returned. The trees were so tall that you couldn't navigate with the help of sun or the stars because you simply weren't able to see the sky over the tree branches. You always laughed to those stories, why someone would be afraid of the forest? The forest was your sanctuary, a calm place which melt your worries away. Ever since you had known how to walk you had been spying the people who lived in the village from the edge of the forest. 

You were always near but not to seen. Your favorite pair of people was two young boys, one with dark brown hair and matching pair of eyes and another with soft blonde cloud of hair and deep dark eyes. 

You enjoyed watching how they liked to run on the meadow among the sheep who were eating the grass lazily.  You laughed when they did and cried when they felt down. You almost felt like they were your friends. Years passed and the boys grew and you along them. Sometimes your big brother came to watch the villagers too but he got bored rather easily and left you alone to enjoy your time.  

You had just turned sixteen and were once again spying your boys behind tree trunks when your first encounter with them happened. It was late spring evening and the sun has started to set when you spotted the familiar faces running towards the woods, when they reached the border between the forest and the meadow they stopped hesitating. 

''Are we really going to do this?'' The older, but funnily shorter, of the two asked looking his friend feeling insecure. 

''I mean, we have came this far, don't you think that it would be too stupid to back out now?'' The younger one says and raises his right hand higher and only by then you notice the dark glass bottle in his hand.

''I ques that you are right.'' The older one agrees and takes a first step in to the forest. His friend follows him right after.

The boys have difficulties to navigate in the darkness but your eyes were used to dark and you knew the forest like you knew your hands, so it was easy for you to keep up with them.  You lightly chuckled when one of the boys almost fell on his face because his foot got stuck on root sticking from the ground.  The boys doesn't seem to be sure about direction and instead they walk aimlessly forward.

''I think the village is now far enough.'' The older one says and glances to the direction of the village, he can't see the village lights anymore.

''I agree.'' The second one says and they happily sit down on the ground, the older one leaning on fallen tree trunk and younger sits on the rock next to him.

''So should we open it?''  The older boy gestures towards the bottle. ''It's not everyday that my sister gets married and our folks brings alcohol on view.'' He adds and your attention turns to their clothing. 

Instead of their usually grey cotton shirts and brown pants with suspenders they are both wearing straight black pants with polished shoes and a white shirts under a west. Only difference in their attires is that the older ones west is brown and younger ones' is deep green.

''One day you have a bride yourself, Miss Park Jimin, that sounds quite nice.'' The younger one teases the another and you can see even though the darkness that the one being teased is blushing.

''I think that Miss Jeon Jungkook isn't bat either.'' Jimin teases his friend who flashes a sheepish smile.  

''Whatever, let's open this thing.'' Jungkook changes the subject and raises the bottle in his hand.

''Hey Jimin, how we are going to open this without a bottle opener?'' Jungkook grins awkwardly.

''I saw once how my father opened a bottle with his teeth, let me try.'' Jimin says and takes the bottle from his friend. 

How foolish. You watch amused how Jimin puts the cork in his mouth and pulls it with his teeth.  At first the cork stays and remains stuck but after few failed attempts and huffs the cork pops open and Jimin almost cracks his teeth while doing it. A strong and bitter smell of booze hits your nose and you flinch. The drinks in your home always smell so sweet and fruity that it's hard for you to believe that someone actually want to drink something like that. Jimin spits the cork out of his mouth and grins.

''Bottoms up.'' He cheers and takes a big gulp of the drink. When the booze hits his throat Jimin couches loudly and closes his eyes. 

Jungkook laughs to his reaction but when it’s his turn to taste his reaction is the same. 

''This is strong stuff, no wonder that your dad usually hides it on top of shelf.'' Jungkook admits and wipes his mouth. 

The boys drink for a while in silence passing the bottle for each other. You get more comfortable and lay down on the forest bed. When time passes the reactions caused by the strong taste of booze weakens on the boys faces and they seem to get more light headed.

''Hey Jimin?'' Jungkook breaks the silence after another sip.

''Yeah?''

''Have you ever wanted to leave our village?''

''Sometimes. I often imagine how I leave my home and began to live as traveling performer.'' Jimin admits his cheeks in pink tint, that may be caused by his confession or the drink. 

''Pfft, you a performer? What would you do?'' Jungkook teases his friend.

''I would sing and maybe dance, who knows. Maybe I would get invited to the palace.''' Jimin shrugs his shoulders. ''What about you? Have you ever considered leaving?''

''Yeah, I have always wanted to be a soldier. I want to bring glory to my country and honor to my family.'' 

You let a small huff escape from your mouth from his confession. Not because you think it's funny but because how accurate it is. You could see in your mind Jungkook in shining armor ready to lead a battle.

''Did you hear that?'' Jimin asks your mistake didn't go unnoticed.

''Did I hear what?'' Jungkook asks and he looks around alerted. 

You start backing up deeper in the forest and in your hurry you miss a fallen tree branch under your feet which makes a sound leading the boys to look in to your direction. You know that you have been spotted when Jungkook's eyes meet yours.

''Jimin! Shit its a wolf!'' Jungkook screams panicked and gets up fumbling 

from his sitting place.

You are frozen to your place too shocked to move and captivated by Jungkook's eyes that you won't even blink before Jimin has also spotted you.

''We need to go!'' Jimin tells and the bottle slips from his hands and falls on the forest ground spilling its insides on the ground.

You are able to recover from your shock and you spin around and start running deeper into the forest. 

You would think that your cover being blown would make you stop spying on the village but it made you only even more curious about humans and the life outside of your forest. What came to Jimin and Jungkook they were punished by their parents  to look after the sheep  grazing on the meadow because they busted in to Jimin's sisters wedding smelling like a booze and crying a wolf.  After all there hasn't been any wolf sighting in fifteen years.

~

It was your twentieth birthday and you were laying on your bed looking up to the ceiling where the ceiling beams were supporting the roof of your cabin. You really weren't in the mood of celebrating even though turning twenty meant that you would be adult in standards of your small community. You hear a soft knock by the door and your big brother, Alpha of the pack, peeks in.

''Can I come in?'' He ask and flashes a kind smile. 

''No.'' You snort but he won't listen to you and steps in. ''What do you want Jin?'' You ask and roll on sitting position on your bed.

Jin comes to sit next to you and ruffles your hair. ''It is a big day, shouldn't you be more excited?'' Jin looks you with genuine care and his honey colored eyes glister in the sun.

You can clearly see why any single woman of the pack would drool after him, his shoulder are wide and his body is strong, his face is sculptured like a angels with soft perky lips, straight nose and soft brown hair cut into mullet.

''What it is to be excited about?'' You groan ''I hate double standards.'' You tell and hug fluffy pillow on your lap.

''It is a tradition to find a spouse for a shewolf if she doesn't have one when she turns twenty. Even our parents found each other in that way.''

''And where that lead to them, unhappy marriage and a mother who ran away with a water spirit.'' You retort sarcastically back. ''I think it's truly unfair that I have to get engaged with someone who I didn't choose.''  

''I thought you were okay with getting married with Mark?''

''I mean he is only tolerable man in the pack but it doesn't mean that I love him.''

''Who you would want instead, that human boy?'' Now it's Jin's turn to sound sarcastic ''And how well that would go? 'Hey I'm Y/N and I have been spying on you ever since we have been kids. Don't be totally freaked out but I have huge crush on you and I thought that we could get married.'''Jin ends his speech with miming your voice and your face twists in anger.

''Get out!'' You yell pissed and throw the pillow at his face.   

''Fine, I go. Being mad at me won't save you from tonight celebration though. Elena will be here in a hour to help you get ready.'' Jin raises his hands for surrender and leaves your room. 

You know that he is right, after all you don't have the guts to defy traditions, right? Surely Mark would be good mate, after all you had known him since you were toddlers. And Jin is right, Jungkook would never want to be with someone like you. You curl in to a small ball and let silent tears fall.  

Jin's words are true when exactly a hour has passed you hear another knock by your door and and a storm also known as Elena arrives to your room.  Elena is your father's new partner who was able to pull your sulking father away from his depression after your mother left. Elena has a dark skin and a matching curls pulled in tight ponytail. She is a curvy woman who's loud laughter easily filled a room and gained attention of others. Elena is wearing tight leather pants with knee length boots and tight white shirt that hugs her in all right places.

''What are you doing still on bed? Come on, your bath is waiting.''  Elena pulls you up the bed and pulls you after her in to the living space of your cottage. 

Your home is small and it only consist on three rooms, your bedroom, Jins bedroom/ office and the living space. There is no bathroom, those are for rich people only and when you have to relief yourself outhouse is the place.  Jin is nowhere in sight and you ques that he has escaped somewhere out of the way. Elena stops you in front of the steaming bathtub of water and starts to loosen strings on the back of your shirt.  

''You should be grateful for your brother, even though he is busy with his Alpha duties he still had time to pick water from stream and boil it for you.'' Elena chatters away. ''Hands up'' She ads and you are barely able to obey when she pulls the shirt over your head.  

As a werewolf idea of undergarments seems rather bothersome, you get naked to sift so often that tucking and pulling those on and of would be waste of time. Soon you are completely naked and covered to your chin in the steaming bath while Elena rubs a soap over your hair.

''How long it has been since you took a bath?'' Elena asks while going through particularly difficult knot on your untamed H/C hair.

''A while, I prefer washing up as a wolf.'' You grin but yelp when Elena pulls your hair too harshly. 

''It's not bathing if you go to swim in your fur.'' She huffs and you roll your eyes. 

Elena keeps chattering about anything and everything while you let her voice buzz in the background of your thoughts. After your bath Elena pulls out a dress and flinch unhappily, dresses weren't your thing even though human women usually preferred them over the pants. The dress is simple and pure white, only to be tied with a belt on your waist. You let helplessly Elena to groom you and you are sitting on stool while Elena goes through your hair with comp when Jin enters again. 

''You look good.'' Jin tells and shows his thumbs ups which gains eye roll from you as an answer.

''Seokjin, why you aren't wearing your formal wear yet?'' Elena lectures Jin who lets out sheepish smile being caught by the woman. In times like these Jin didn't seem like an Alpha at all. 

''I'm just about to get changed.'' Jin tells and escapes to his room. 

''Sometimes I wonder was it a good idea to make him an Alpha so early.'' Elena mumbles to herself and you chuckle at her words. 

A knock comes by the front door and Elena tells the newcomer to enter. A young girls steps in carrying a flower grown in her hands. 

''My mom told me to deliver this here.'' She tells shyly and you can't help yourself but smile to her.

 ''Thank you, please bring it here.'' Elena tells softly and the girl comes to you holding tightly at the grown.

''Would you like to put the grown top of Y/N's head?'' Elena asks and little girls smile widens in excitement.

''Yes please.'' She says and you tilt your head lower so she is able to reach your head.

''Thank you Amber.'' Elena tells and images flashes on your mind, you had seen the girl before playing with her friends in the village center. 

''Thank you.'' You say as well and Amber leaves  the cabin happily giggling for herself. 

Elena pulls a hand mirror out somewhere and shows your reflection to you. You have to admit that you look quite good. Your usually wild H/C hair is tamed into soft curls and your skin is glowing after the cleaning. 

''I look amazing, thank you Elena.'' You gasp admiring yourself from the mirror your E/C eyes looking back at you with full of wonder. 

''You are welcome sweetie. I have to go and get myself already. Me and your father will see you at the party.'' Elena tells and takes the mirror from your hands and puts it on the table. ''You look stunning, everything will go great.'' Elena adds and gives a small peek to your forehead.

~

Distant drumming is reaching your ears and you are shifting from one foot to another nervously. Your future husband, Mark is standing next to you and offering you a calming smile. Mark is slim man with dark hair and his features are mix of Asian and western, his eyes are little bit crooked in typical way of Asian's but his shin is strong and angular. Mark is wearing black leather pants and a short fur coat on his shoulders which is typical part of formal attire in your pack, and a simple plain white shirt underneath. Neither of you are wearing shoes and that rule goes by every party goer tonight.

''Are you nervous?'' Mark asks voice full of worry.

''A little.'' You admit flashing a nervous smile.

''It's just a party.'' Mark tries again to assure you.

''A party where going with you literally means that I have decided to take you as my mate.'' You huff irritated and Mark looks taken back.

''I know that I wasn't your first option but don't rub it on my face.'' Mark barks back and you can see his eyes flash orange.

You take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. ''You are right, I'm sorry. Let's get this over with.'' 

Your small village is located in a valley surrounded by mountains and rough landscape. If you don't know the route in its impossible to find in. In middle of your village goes a steaming river and get to across it you have to go over a wide wooden bridge. Right after the bridge goes the small town center where the party is taking its place. When you reach the bridge the drumming turns even louder and you can see the torches lighting up the night sky. Everywhere you look at is food and people in their wolf or human form having fun. You are only female to wear white and everywhere you look at you can see women dressed in bright colors, all the men are wearing similar attires to Mark only with some variation of their shirt and cloak colors.

 A small band is beating the drums in the border of the square their bodies following the beat. Someone notices you and points at you followed by loud cheers of the celebrating people.  You wave awkwardly back to the people who you have known your whole life and walk the rest of the way towards the square followed by moody Mark. Still you couldn't blame him after your split up. Who would be excited to get married with someone who wasn't clearly into them? Mark has only accepted to marry you because his visible crush towards you and this being the only way to be with you.

''You are finally here.'' Jin steps out from the crowd and comes towards you with open arms. He hugs you and whispers. ''Even a minute later and I would had made someone to pick you up.'' When he lets go of you there is no trace of his threat and his face is full of smiles. Jin's fur cloak is only one which stands on the crowd, as and Alpha he is wearing a cloak that almost reaches on the ground.

''My fellow pack member today we have gathered here to celebrate my sisters coming to age ceremony and her engagement to Mark.'' The whole crowd goes silent and the drumming stops when their Alpha is speaking. ''As all of you know this party is more than just having fun, it's about making sure that our pack will bloom in the future and bless us with more offspring. Werewolf are one of the species which numbers are getting smaller year by year while humans take more and more space with their growing population. There were times were our kind didn't have to hide and we were free to be what we are but sadly things changed. Humans got scared of us and our powers, where we were winning in power they were leading with numbers.'' Jin pauses and some pack members boo to his words. Jin raises his hand and everyone turn silent again. ''We aren't alone in this situation, other creatures like elves and even vampires are in the same situation.  It's more important than ever to have each other backs and make sure that our culture and us in individuals will remain.'' When Jin ends his speech the grow cheers and the drumming returns. 

Everyone return to have fun and except you to follow after all it's your party and you are expected to be in cloud nine after catching one of the most wanted single men in the pack. Coming to age party is exceptional in that way that almost every other party in the werewolf tradition consist on ceremonies and rules that you have to follow. The chaos and lack of rules in the coming age party is supposed to symbolize the ending youth and beginning of the adult responsibilities.

''I will go to meet my friends.'' Mark informs and slips away from the place and you nod as an answer in your thoughts.

You aren't able to dream for long when Elena and your father reaches you. Your father is in his late fifties, his once light hair turning into grey, he is like older version of your brother to be honest. Your father is limping his right leg and leaning to walking stick. Permanent injuries are rare in the wolf world where everyone heals quickly but your father was trapped under a fallen tree trunk for days before he was found and his bone had ossified in twisted way. The healers of the pack had had to break his leg all over again and it was never the same again even after healing.

''There's my girl.'' Your Father smiles warmly when he stops in front of you. Elena is smiling next to to him holding his free hand. 

''Here I'm.'' You try to sound cheerful but you fail horribly. 

''Where is my future son in law?'' Your father asks and glances around in hopes of seeing him.

''We had a small fight.'' You admit with quiet voice.

''Y/N...'' Your father sighs is disappointment.

''Don't worry about it, I'm sure that Mark is able to recover from it.'' Jin butts in and you glance your brother angrily. 

''Jin is right, after all we all know how smitten Mark is with Y/N.'' Elena steps in to calm your father.

''I guess you are right.'' Your father's face softens again. 

''I bet they will make such a beautiful babies.'' Elena tells with dreamy voice. While your father is agreeing with Elena you slip away in the crowd.

No one really doesn't seem to get you. Everyone is so excited about your marriage and future puppies that they forgot how you are feeling about it. If you could you would run. Run, that one word consumes you and you start pushing your way through the mass of people. Some worried looking pack members tries to stop you but you are too stubborn. You need air somewhere where isn't other wolves. Before you even realize you have sifted in to your wolf form and running all fours towards the beginning of the valley and where the secret passageway to the outside world is located.

You keep running without any particular destination in your mind but soon you understand that you have picked the direction of the nearest human village.  You feel like your heart is about to burst in your chest and you won't stop until you reach the tree line. Your storming mind calms instantly when you see Jungkook laying on the meadow his eyes closed and lips parted. He is supposed to look after the sheep but he is snoring lightly. Your mind goes blank and you crawl closer in your wolf form. People should give more credit to the animals, the sheep won't even flinch when you near the sleeping man, after all they have heard and smelled you over the years when you had spied the village and deemed you to no threat to them. You turn into small ball next to Jungkook and close your eyes seeking comfort in Jungkook's warmth.

 ~

''What the hell I do, there is a wolf sleeping next to me!'' Someone's voice is breaking in to your dreams and you sift annoyed. 

''I don't know, don't be so loud or you wake it up.'' Another voice hurries to answer. This dream is getting rather annoying. ''Should I get your father?'' Your ears twitch and you are more aware of reality.

''So he can kill the wolf? No'' The first speaker sifts next to you and finally you open your eyes. 

You have to blink few times before you believe what you are actually seeing. Jungkook is sitting next to you on the grass his body rolling with fear and Jimin is standing next to him and not in any better shape. For a moment three of you only stare at each other without knowing what to to.

''The wolf is acting rather strange, maybe it is just a large dog?'' Jimin gains the courage to speak when nothing happens.

''No, I'm sure it's wolf. There isn't a dog that huge in this world'' Jungkook answer quickly back. Are they saying that you are fat? You huff annoyed and both men tense again. ''There is something definitely going on with this animal, I mean look at the sheep! They don't even flinch even when their natural predator is right next to them.''

''Perhaps its a werewolf?''

''Don't be an idiot those are just some stupid old tales to scare kids to behave.'' Jungkook tells rolling his eyes to his friend.  Only if you knew... 

You have come to understand that neither of them is going to pull a knife at you or go to ask for help. Maybe your behavior is really that odd for an animal. You get up on all fours and decide to leave just in case they have second thoughts. The men are left behind when you sprint in to run just before the forest line you end up taking a quick look back seeing them still dumb founded on the meadow.  What neither you or the two men doesn't notice is a extra pair of eyes looking after you when you disappear into the forest.

When you reach home you get a lifetime long lecture from your brother how it's disrespectful to leave from your own party even it wasn't a formal event.

''...I was so ashamed to tell to your future husband where you were as an alpha I should know these thing and even more as your brother...'' Jin keeps rambling on and there is no other option than you to swallow and listen.

When Jin finally stops panting you are finally able to put some words in. ''I'm sorry that I left. I will also apologize Mark.'' You tell nervously. There is no chance that you would tell Jin what actually happened during your little escape he would flip even more.

''Oh, I will make sure that you do, but for now you are under house arrest.''

''What the hell, I'm an adult, you can't do that to me!''

''Well you surely doesn't act like a one, so you won’t be treated as such.'' Jin barks back.

''You can't make me!''

''Maybe not as your brother but as your alpha I demand you to stay inside of these four walls until further notice.'' 

''I fucking can't believe you! Did you just use alpha’s command on me?'' 

''Yes I did.'' Jin's voice is firm when he answers but his eyes seem little hesitant.

''I can't stand you right now.'' You tell voice full of rage and go to your room slamming the door shut. Okay maybe you acted somewhat still like a teenager, but you just couldn't take your brother for now.

~

Jin surely kept his word, first two weeks of your house arrest you weren't allowed to leave the small cabin and only company you were allowed to have over was Mark, your future husband. At first your time spent together was awkward after all you had left him on the party but when days passed you were grateful from the company. You and Jin still avoided each other both regretting your fight but both too hard-headed to admit it. When the two weeks has passed you were allowed outside again, but only in the surrounding of your village, you weren't allowed to enter the forest and there was surely no speak about even going near the human village. You finally gained your true freedom when the summer has started to turn in to Autumn and the leaves on the trees started to turn different shades of yellow and red. Your fur's color has started to change color along with the leaves as well.

You still haven't admitted your faults to your brother and he didn't say that he is sorry either but you were having some sort of truce. You start to visit the forest border next to the human village again and time to time you are able to see glances of Jungkook but Jimin isn't nowhere in sight. Even Jungkook seems to miss his friend sighing time to time looking up the sky in longing. 

You are once again spying the humans but you are sad to notice that this time Jungkook isn't spending his time among the sheep and instead the field is out of humans.  You wait for a hour but only human that arrives is some stranger human man who is told to look after the sheep. 

You can see even when is his back against the woods that he is tall and muscular underneath his clothing even though this detail doesn't give you much.

You are about to turn around and leave when you finally hear a familiar voice. 

''Hey Jackson guess what!' Jungkook jells from a long way while he runs toward the meadow.

''You got accepted?'' Jackson answers with smirk when Jungkook stops in front of him panting.

''How did you know?'' Jungkook seems sad that he wasn't able to surprise the another man.

''Well you have been talking about becoming a soldier since you were a little kid.'' Jackson smirks.

''Not just any kind of soldier, I was accepted to trials to train to become on of the new king's guards. Anyone can apply to be a regular soldier and get in but only the best are accepted in to the kings watch.'' Jungkook is full of excitement like a little child.

''When you are leaving?''

''In two weeks. The journey  to the capital isn't a short one.'' 

''Ah, what do I do when both of you are gone? Jimin left to travel as touring performer and now you are also leaving me.'' Jackson sight dramatically. Wait Jimin is gone? You feel angry about how much you have missed.

'' I don't know, keep the mill rotating?'' Jungkook smirks subtly. 

''You know I do.'' Jackson sighs.

You have heard enough and let rest of the men's conversation to go in from an ear and out from another. Jungkook will be leaving the village and your chance with him will be lost forever. 

All this time you had secretly hoped to somehow to be with Jungkook even when you are engaged to another. You can see with your eyes how you will be spending rest of your life stuck in your village, which isn't that bad you love your home, and breeding pups to a man who you don't even love. At that moment you have made your decision, you had to make him to fall in love with you just in two weeks and hope that it was enough to stop him from leaving. Only problem in that was that you have to appear in front of him in your human form and if anything is scary to you then that is. ~ You cringe for your reflection but you had decided that little dressing up wouldn’t make any harm in your quest of charming your knight. You are wearing one of your few dresses, the one fitting for colder weather, and measuring the results. The dress is soft blue with tulle skirt and a matching bow on the back. You had struggled when you had tried to put corset on your own for a first time and with few failed attempts you had managed to put yourself somewhat together. Now the only problem was how you could slip out of the pact village without alerting your brother or the wolves who would be patrolling outside. It was almost dawn and you had thought that best opportunity to slip out without detecting in your current outfit was now. You could hear slight snoring coming from Jin’s room when you tried to sneak through the floor towards the front door. A creaking plank makes you halt when Jin’s snoring halts but you breath in relief when it continues after short pause. You shut the cabin door quietly and sigh in relief, one obstacle down and one left.  You hide behind of huge rock near the stream crossing your village when a patrolling wolf passes you. You hold your breath when the wolf walks past you. You are again grateful for your luck when he doesn’t spot you. Werewolves has heightened instincts but they were also able to move quietly without being detected if they had been training for year and luckily for you being an old’s alphas daughter and current ones sister you had been through many lessons. You walk over the bridge and are able to reach the other side of the village where the passageway to the forest is located. Your journey to the human village is slower than usual after all you don’t want to ruin your outfit by sifting and you have to settle walking on two feet instead. The sun is rising and painting the sky in light pink when you finally begun to near the forest border. You hesitate with your steps when you reach the meadow but collect your courage and step in to human world.  You walk across the meadow and past the sheep and sleeping sepherd to get on the border of the village. There is a low wooden fence separating the meadow from the village area and you cross over it easily. The scents hit you all at once. Usually when you are staying only by the border and meadow the air is full of scent of grass and sheeps wool masking the scents coming from the village. You look around in wonder and note to yourself that the place is slightly bigger than your home village. The roads are made of dirt and the houses are one or two floor buildings made of rocks and the roofs are mainly built with hey. You can see how a baker is opening his bakery putting freshly baked bread on display. The scent pulls you closer and you admire the freshly baked pastries though the window. The baker notices you and gestures you to come in but you shake your head and step away from the window. You didn’t have any human money. When you turn around you hit something and close your eyes hissing. Your head throbs and you rub your forehead with your temple. ‘’Oh, I’m so sorry are you okay miss?’’ You look up and recognize the man fas Jackson who you had earlier seen with Jungkook. Jackson’s eyes were full of worry and he searched your face worriedly. Jackson was carrying a heavy sack of flours on his shoulder and he was heading inside the bakery when you had spun around and caught him by surprise. You had to admit that up close Jackson was even better looking that you first thought but he was nothing compared to Jungkook in your eyes. The man has black hair covered with a brown transmitter cap and he is wearing a matching pants with white long sleeve shirt. ‘’I’m, I wasn’t looking where I was going. I should be the one to apologize.’’ You tell shyly. ‘’Let’s just say that we both are in fault then.’’ Jackson says flashing a small smile. ‘’I’m Jackson by the way.’’ Jackson tells offering his hand for you to shake. ‘’I kno- I mean I’m Y/N.’’ You had almost told him that you knew who he was but he didn’t seem to notice your mistake. ‘’I haven’t seen you around before. It’s rare to see strangers here.’’ ‘’Oh well, I’m just passing by with my brother…’You lie smoothly. If you would have said that you were traveling on your own you would get strange and disapproval looks, you were a woman after all! ‘’I see, where is he now if I may ask?’’ Jackson asks curiously.

‘’Um, I’m sure that he is around.’’ You try to pry him of. The bakery door opens and the baker steps out from the door. Only now you notice how similar his features are to Jackson and you are sure that he is related to him somehow. ‘’Jackson what are you doing? I need the flour, these breads won’t bake themselves.’’ The man tells jokingly.

‘’I’m sorry father I was caught in chatting with Y/-, oh she’s gone.’’ Jackson looks around and you aren’t nowhere to be seen, you had slipped away during his father had caught his attention. You decide to continue your adventure in the village and walk deeper into the center where you can see people waking up and getting ready to coming day. Small shops are opening their doors and welcoming customers in. You stop in front of a window of small tailoring shop and admire the dresses on display. Even though you didn’t wear dresses yourself it didn’t mean that you couldn’t admire them! A beautiful busy looking brown haired woman in her late forties comes by the window inside of the shop and starts to do adjustments on dresses in display but when she notices you she stops and taps on the window. You look her confused and soon she hurries out of the door. ‘’Hey miss, could I bother you for a sec?’’ She ask smiling excitedly. ‘’What do you need?’’ You ask curiously. ‘’You are in perfect size for a dress I’m making, could you model for me a little. I will be sure to pay for your troubles.’’ She tells measuring you with her gaze. ‘’I don’t know if I’m that good model.’’ ‘’Nonsense! Come in.’’ She doesn’t leave you space for argument when she pulls you after her into the small shop. You look around amazed seeing dresses, shirts, pants, vests and other pieces of clothing in different stages of making.  The woman leads you to the mannequin where a beautiful teal colored dress is  on display. The dress has a complicated corset and many layers which make you feel little stuffed even when you aren’t even the one wearing it. ‘’A customer of mine ordered this dress for her daughter’s birthday and I’m sure that you are close to her size. If you could wear it while I make few fixes it would help me a lot.’’ The woman continues while starting to remove the dress gently from the mannequin. You can’t put even a word in when she chatters away the dress. When she has finally removed the dress she pulls you behind the curtain with her and her hands find your dress’ strings. You stop her by putting your hand on top of hers. ‘’Uh Mam, you are eagerly trying to undress me while i don’t even know your name.’’ You tell smiling awkwardly. ‘’Oh, how silly of me when I get excited I keep forgetting to give my name. My name is Jeon Dae but you can call me just Dae.’’ She finally gives her name away. ‘’I’m Y/N.’’ You offer with small smile. ‘’Well it’s nice to meet you miss Y/N, are you still willing to help me?’’ Dae asks hopefully. You almost remind her that you never promised to help her at first place but decide otherwise. ‘’ I will and please just call me Y/N.’’ You agree and Dae gets to work to remove your dress and replace it with her model. For a while you just watch in silence how the woman spins around you a needle between her lips and a few other on her hand while making adjustments with her dress. A small bell chimes and someone steps in to the shop but you cant see the newcomer behind the heavy curtain. ‘’Mother it’s me.’’ You hear a familiar voice and you can swear that your heart stop beating for a second. ‘’I’m in the back with a customer, wait a second.’’Dae yells back. ‘’It’s my son Jungkook, I’m sure that you will like him.’’ Dae tells with smile and looks up from her crouched position from working the hem.

Steps near the curtain and stops in other side of it. ‘’Can I step in? Is the customer properly dressed?’’ He asks hesitating. ‘’Is it okay that my son comes in?’’ Dae asks you and you nod your head in loss of words. ‘’Okay, you can come in now.’’ Dae tells and the curtain is pulled aside revealing Jungkook’s cheerful face. You feel suddenly shy when you are so close to him for a first time and look down your feet. ‘’Jackson’s father send us some pastries as a thanks for you repairing his shirt yesterday.’’ Jungkook tells showing the paper bag in his arms. ‘’That’s so nice of him but he shouldn’t have to.’’ Dae answers with small smile. ‘’Jungkook this is Y/N, she offered to help me with the dress.’’ Dae introduces you turning Jungkook’s attention to you. ‘’Oh it’s nice to meet you, I’m glad that you offered to help my mother.’’ Jungkook tells with fond smile on his lips, he clearly loves his mother. ‘’Umm, it has no trouble at all.’’ You assure smiling shyly. ‘’I’m finally done.’’ Dae declares and looks the dress happily. ‘’The dress is pretty but so is the model.’’ Jungkook tells with a grin. ‘’I know, anyone wearing my clothes look neither dull or ugly but even without it she would be beautiful.’’ Dae agrees. ‘’Kook could you step outside for a little, I help Y/N to change back to her dress.’’ ‘’Sure.’’ Jungkook tells stepping back and disappearing on the other side of the curtain leaving you alone with Dae. Dae helps the teal dress away from you and helps pulling your dress back up. ‘’Jungkook is a great son but I hate that he is leaving me and my husband. On the moment when he told us his dream about becoming soldier I knew he was meant for it.’’ Dae tells smiling sadly. She finishes tightening your dress and smoothes the hem of the skirt. ‘’Okay we are all done. let's go back to the shop’s side. I’m sure that there is pastries enough for you too.’’ ~ When you return to your home the sun is already setting and you know that you are in trouble if Jin catches you. When you open the front door of your home Jin isn't the one who is waiting you. Mark is sitting on kitchen table and his head shot up in the moment he hears the front door opening. ‘’Where have you been and why you smell like that human.’’ He asks angrily getting you of guard. You have never heard Mark so unhappy. ‘’I was out. And I don’t know who you are talking about.’’ You tell putting your arms above your chest in defending manner. ‘’Y/N please, I know that you have been spying that human for a while now. I even followed you when I saw you sprinting away from you coming of age ceremony and you went to sleep next to him in your wolf form! I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I was ready to bark in any moment the men even looked you wrongly but you clearly didn’t care yourself enough to stay away.’’ Mark is almost yelling and he has started to stand during his speech. You look him with your mouth hanging open and only noise escaping from you is you shocked breathing. You are finally able to pull yourself together and speak. ‘’How long have you been spying on me?’’ You ask quietly your voice trembling. ‘’Long enough to know that we aren’t working.’’ Mark tells and falls back on his chair like all strength is escaping from him. ‘’Mark I’m sor-’’ ‘’Don’t you dare to say that you are sorry.’’ Mark glances you angrily. ‘’When your brother arrives home I will call our engagement of and you can be happily the first she wolf to break her pack traditions.’’ Mark tells with colorless voice. ‘’But I-’’ ‘’Y/n save it, could you go to your room I just can’t stand to be around you.’’ Mark tells and you obey him quietly. When you are about to close your bedroom door you swear that you can smell the salty scent of tears in the air.       When Jin arrives home and hears the news from Mark he is anything but pleased but when he is ready to yell at you after opening your bedroom door he changes his mind after finding you crying quietly on your bed. ‘’Hey, are you okay?’’ Jin asks and sits next to you on your bed. ‘’Do I look like I’m okay?’’ You bark for your brother’s question. ‘’I have ruined everything and when everyone in the village will hear what happened I will be a laughing stock.’’ ‘’No one dares to laugh at you, I make sure of it.’’ ‘’It’ doesn’t help that you are an alpha on the moment you turn your back the gossips will start again. ‘’ You tell shaking your head. Jin looks you back silently and begins to stroke your cheek. ‘’Do you know why she wolfs are forced to mate when they turn twenty?’’ he suddenly asks quietly. ‘’Because it's stupid tradition.’’You sniff. ‘’Well that too but there is another reason for it. When she wolf falls in love her hear can’t be changed. We usually pick mates for females because if she falls in love nothing can ever change it. If their mate dies or leave them it leads more often to death than not. I don’t like it either but male wolves doesn’t have the same problem, perhaps it because the survival of the species is on stage that they aren’t that deeply bonded like females are. We still love in our own way but our feelings are more humane when she wolves follow more their wolf sides. Our mother was able to leave our father because she wasn’t really in love. We try prevent she wolves for truly loving because we want to protect them.’’ Jin tells and you look him with wide eyes. ‘’Then the tradition is even more confusing. What if the she wolf is in love with the person she is meant to marry.’’ ‘’The divorce rate is really low if you haven’t noticed. If the couple loves each other that's great then but if they don’t male wolf rarely leaves in fear of breaking the female’s heart. I only wanted you to marry Mark because I feared losing you. I clearly didn’t realize how much you love that human.’’ Jin smiles sadly.

‘’I’m truly regretting to force you go through all of this.’’Jin tells and pulls you in to his embrace. You begin to cry again this time your tears aren’t quiet and you are crying loudly while your nose starts leaking along your chin and making a mess on Jin’s shirt. Still either of you cares or move. On that night jin sleeps next to you for a first time since your childhood while hugging you and whispering sweet nothings to your ear. ~ Even though your break up with Mark broke you a little you also feel relieved that pressure of your marriage has been lifted from your shoulders. JIn was the one to tell your father what has happened and you had been avoiding him in fear of judgement. You were once again heading for the human village only few day after your last visit when you had met jungkook in person for a first time. This time you had given up wearing a dress and were wearing a more comfortable attire, ap pair of leather pants and a black shirt paired with brown jacket. When you arrive on the meadow you raise your brows in surprise. You really didn’t except finding Jungkook practising with wooden spear against a doll made of heavy and a bright red target painted to it chest. Jungkook was sweating and panting heavily while practising strikes and dodges with the target. ‘’Hi.’’ You approach Jungkook waving shyly at him. ‘’Hi, where did you came from?’’ Jungkook asks panting and swiping a sweat from his forehead. His shirt is wet with his sweat and clinging dangerously to his chest revealing his abs. You try not to stare but are caught if you can say anything about Jungkook’s satisfied smirk. ‘’I was just hanging nearby,’’ You tell trying to avoid the subject. ‘’So what are you doing?’’ You try to change a subject and it seems working. ‘’I’m practicing for a test to become one of the King’s watch.’’ Jungkook tells. You act like you have heard it for a first time.’’ A king’s man that sound exciting but don’t you think how it's weird that no one has seen the king's face?’’ ‘’I know that the king is wearing a mask but so is his closest servants.’’ Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. ‘’I think he must have a good reason for it after all he has been a good king for past eight years.’’ He continues sounding certain. ‘’Well if you say so…’’ ‘’If he trusts me enough maybe one day I will be able to see his face.’’ Jungkook beams with excitement. ‘’Maybe. Hey I noticed few mistakes with your postures, do you mind if I help you?’’ ‘’Sure.’’ Jungkook agrees surprised. You take the spear from his hands and straighten your posture. Jungkook watches quietly your movements and admires you in seacret. He had thought that you were a pretty while wearing a dress but now you were even prettier while moving confidently with the spear in your hands.   Ever since that day you had showed up in early morning to practice with Jungkook and even at some point Jackson joined you after recovering from the surprise that you knew each other. The two weeks deadline was almost over but you tried not to think about it and spend all your free time with Jungkook. Even if he was suspicious from your origins he didn’t say anything and instead enjoyed spending time with you after all his best friend has left and he has been feeling lonely despite of Jackson offering his company. With you he felt close as he felt with Jimin and maybe even closer in some ways. Without even noticing Jungkook's feelings had developed into more deep than a friendship. You were following Jungkook into the woods giggling. You both were tipsy after Jungkook had bought a booze into today's training session and you both had felt the effects. Somehow you had thought that hide and seek in the forest would be a good idea so now you were hiding behind of huge spruce hardly able to hide your laughter. Even though the taste of alcohol Jungkook had offered wasn’t that good it was quick to get you both drunk. You laugh loudly when you feel arms around you and Jungkook raises you from the ground spinning you around. 

‘’Kookie put me down!’’ You laugh and Jungkook obeys with a low chuckle. You are spun around in Jungkook’s arms and you both look each other breathing heavily. Jungkooks lips finds yours and you answer hungrily for his kiss. Even though you are insecure with your actions and your kisses are more sloppy than his he doesn’t seem to mind. You pull away panting and smile at each other. ‘’I have wanted to do this for a while now.’’ Jungkook tells gaining courage from the alcohol. ‘’Me too.’’ You admit shyly. ‘’Good.’’ Jungkook answers and peeks your lips again. His hands begins to wonder on your body and measuring all of your curves. When Jungkook’s hands stops on your butt giving you a squeeze you gasp softly. ‘’Is this okay?’’ he asks stopping his actions. ‘’Yes, please keep going.’’ You beg and Jungkook is happy to oblige.  His hands pulls hem of your shirt and slides underneath of it his thumbs brushing your skin slightly making you shiver. Jungkook presses himself harder against you and you can feel his hardening bulge against your lower belly. Jungkook’s lips finds your once again and you move against his in slow rhythm. You are feeling a new things in your body that you haven't before but you are definitely enjoying them. ‘’Jungkook.’’ You whine against his lips. ‘’Tell me what you need.’’ Jungkook tells his voice husky. ‘’I-I’m not sure.’’ You admit embarrassed. ‘’It’s okay, I got you if you let me.’’ Jungkook smiles softly. ‘’I trust you.’’ You admit and it is all he need as permission to push you against the tree behind of you. Jungkook’s hands find your pants and slides gently among the trim. He slips his index finger in slowly his face observing your reactions for a whole time. You part your mouth slightly when Jungkook’s finger slides on your outer lips. ‘’Tell me if you want me to stop.’’ He tells and dips his finger between your folds. Jungkook moves his finger around your clit collecting your juices with him. You shudder when he adds his thumb into the mix rubbing your clit lightly. You feel your stomach making flips and a moan escapes your lips.You try to keep quiet biting your lip bu Jungkook stops you. ‘’No let me hear you.’’ He tells and you obey letting even the smallest noises to escape your lips.  Jungkook slips his index finger slowly into your hole and it sucks it right in and it's no wonder after all you are getting really soaked.  At first you feel uncomfortable with the invasion but your displeasure is quick to turn around after he starts to pump his finger in and out slowly while his thumb keeps working on your clit. Soon you need more and tell that to Jungkook who slips second finger inside of you. This time the stretch is wider and you cling to Jungkook's arm while he keep working to bring you nearer to your peak. ‘’I think I’m close.’’ You moan and squeeze his arm tighter in your fist leaving small half moon mark from your nails. ‘’Y/N it’s okay to let go, come for me.’’ Jungkook assures and presses his thump harder against your clit while moving his fingers and finally you snap. You mewl loudly when you are pushed over the edge and you close your eyes almost falling from the intensity of your orgasm. Only thing keeping you up is the tree trunk behind of you and Jungkook's strong hands which have left your pants. When your high finally settles you look Jungkook panting. ‘’That was amazing.’’ You tell your eyes wide from emotion. ‘’I’m glad you think that. Y/N I’m late to ask this but are you a virgin?’’ Jungkook asks blushing. ‘’Oh, I’m.’’ You admit blushing. ‘’That’s okay, I had to know so I go slow.’’ ‘’We aren’t done?’’ You ask surprised. ‘’Not even close.’’ Jungkook smirks. ‘’Can I remove your pants?’’ He asks his hands wandering to your waist. ‘’Okay.’’ You are quick to agree after the pleasure you just experienced. You being a werewolf have made you used to being naked with other people and that fact also helps you with your shyness. Jungkook kneels to remove your boots and then pulls your pants away from you legs. You feel embarrassed after your juices clings to your pants and thighs but Jungkook just shakes his head slightly and smiles. Jungkook pulls his pants lower freeing his member and you can’t help but stare. His member is already leaking with precum and his tip is angry color of red. ‘’Turn around.’’ Jungkook tells and bend you slightly so you are taking support from the tree your ass on display. ‘’You have a really pretty butt.’’ he tells and smacks it slightly which makes you moan. ‘’Oh you like to be spanked? We can explore that kink later but right now I need to be inside of you or I will literally explode.’’ Jungkook spears your legs wider so he fits better in between of them and slides his cock up and down your outer pussy lips to collect your juices. He pushes the tip of his member in making you sift and whine in discomfort. ‘’Do I need to stop?’’ Jungkook asks halting.

‘’No, just be slow.’ You assure already feeling the familiar heat in your belly. Jungkook obeys and slides inside of you slowly spearing you wider. When he is fully seated he halts and brushes your hair out of way kissing you neck. After you feel comfortable enough you speak. ‘’You can move now.’’ Jungkook is quick to follow and slides almost all the way out and then slides slowly back in. He repeats the motion for few times until you get impatient. ‘’Go faster and harder,’’ ‘’Are you sure?’’ ‘’I'm just please Jungkook I need-’’ You moan when his thrust gets more speed and strength. ‘’Say my name again.’’ Jungkook tells burying his hands into your hips so hard that he is surely leaving marks. ‘’Jung-kook.’’ You pant when Jungkook pounds inside of you without mercy.  Jungkook moans for that and for a while only sounds that fills the forest are your both needy moans. You feel the tightening feeling nearing you again. ‘’I’m close.’’ You warn and Jungkook's hand sneaks around your body to find your clit. With the extra simulation you came seeing stars behind your eyelids. Your insides squeezing Jungkook’s dick hard like a wine makes him careless and he comes right there inside of you. Jungkook pulls away from you shuddering his seed leaking out of your used hole. Jungkook curses and blames the alcohol for him being careless. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ You ask after you come back to the ground again. ‘’I came inside of you.’’ Jungkook tells feeling guilty. ‘’Oh, its okay I can’t get pregnant right now.’’ ‘’How you are so sure?’’ Jungkook asks worriedly. ‘’I just am.’’ You assure, you can’t just tell him that you can’t come pregnant outside of your heat. A small yawn escapes your lips and Jungkook spins you leaning against the tree so you are facing him again.  Jungkook helps your pants back up quietly and adjust his own. He pulls you on the ground him leaning against the tree this time and putting you to his lap without caring the coldening air. You yawn again and relax in his arms. You are almost asleep when he whispers. ‘’Don’t worry if you got pregnant i take the responsibility.’’   Next morning you wake up in Jungkook’s loud scream of horror. You open your eyes your body in full alert and ready to attack anyone who is threatening you. ‘’Oh my god, did a wolf eat Y/N last night and I didn’t hear a thing?’’ He shudders and backs of crawling from you. You look him with wide eyes feeling confused when it hits you at once. you had changed in to your wolf form while sleeping your previous night's clothes torn around your form. You curse at yourself, you never turned in human if you slept as a wolf but it happened sometimes other way around. You try get in to standing position but Jungkook shakes even more in fear seeking his belt and a knife which is hanging there loosely.  At that moment you know what you have to do. Your bones start cracking and joints popping in front of Jungkook when your fur crawls back inside revealing a human skin. When your change is complete Jungkook looks you with shock. ‘’Y/N!’’ He whines and faints on the ground. You carry Jungkook’s unconscious form on the border of meadow and run away in your wolf form back to your village. You run through your village as fast as your paws carry you and bark in to your home to find Jin reading a book in the living area. ‘’Y/N what’s wrong.’’Jin asks worriedly and gets up from his seat. You sift in front of him without caring being naked and Jin covers his eyes quickly picking a blanket from one of the seats and throwing it at you. ‘’In sake of Luna cover yourself.’’ Jin screams. There is some limits that even werewolves follows and the one is being to avoid seeing your siblings naked even though you can’t sometimes avoid it. You are just in too big shock and denial to register your actions fully and you would surely be ashamed later on. You tie your blanket tightly around you and only by then Jin looks back at you again. ‘’Jin.’’ You cry and walk to your big brother's open arms. ‘’Tell me what’s wrong pup.’’ Jin uses a nickname that he hasn’t used in years. ‘’Jungkook knows what I’m now.’’ You tell crying and Jin keeps hugging you and petting your hair. ~ You return to the human village and this time Jin is following you in his wolf form just in case. It's the day that Jungkook is supposed to leave to the capital and you are terrified of losing him.  You don’t expect much but feel warmth spearing through your body when you see Jungkook sitting in middle of the meadow staring the forest deeply in his thoughts. He has a heavy bag back next to him and he is weared for a traveling. Jin snuggles you with his snot to step out of the woods and he stays behind waiting for you. When Jungkook sees you stepping out of the forest he gets quickly up from the ground. You stop leaving a space between of you and Jungkook so he would feel more secure. To your surprise Jungkook takes a closing steps and without a word pulls you into his embrace. ‘’I thought that I wouldn’t see you again.’’ he breathes into your hair and loosens his hold so he can see your face. ‘’I thought that I would scare you.’’ You say confused. ‘’You could never scare me. I admit I was shocked and didn’t take it well but I felt really broken after I woke up alone and you were nowhere to be seen.’’ Jungkook admits. ‘’At least now I know the wolf who was so brave to sleep next to me.’’he adds with small chuckle. ‘’I’m happy that you feel that way.’’ You admit and glance his bag sadly. ‘’Are you leaving?’’ ‘’I have to but I promise to get you when I can.’’ Jungkook tells feeling guilty. ‘’It’s my dream to serve the king.’’ ‘’I know.’’ You smile sadly and a tear slips from you eyes. ‘’I will always come back to you my wolf girl.’’ Jungkook tells pressing his lips against your he also crying. A bark from the forest line pulls you apart and you see your brother who has stepped out form the meadow and gesturing you to follow. ‘’It’s my brother.’’ You tell to confused Jungkook. ‘’Oh.’’ Is all that Jungkook can say measuring the huge wolf in front of him. Even though he said that he accepts you it doesn’t mean that he adjust in a seconds. ‘’I will be always waiting you by the treeline.’’ You tell stepping away from Jungkook. ‘’And I will be always calling my wolf.’’ 

[artsoupsoupart]

Madney Week 2021:  Nice To Meet You Again

Day One: “May I have this dance?” + fluff

Read on Ao3

She doesn’t necessarily want to throw a ball. She doesn’t necessarily want to become ruler of their kingdom because it feels like it’s too soon. She’s not even twenty-one yet, just two years shy of it actually, but Maddie definitely knows she could run the country by herself, with very carefully selected advisors and just as tedious planning. But a future queen definitely deserves a future king (or queen), so it just makes sense to start her search now, when King Philip and Queen Margaret are almost at the end of their reign, though they’ve been at the end of their line as parents for years since Prince Daniel had been killed at war and well, they never really were parents to her and Evan if she’s being honest with herself.

At the thought of her older brother, she sighs. He had been everything a prince should be. Charming. Responsible. Brave. And gone all too soon. If only he hadn’t joined the army, he would probably still be here. He’d be taking over as king and he’d be the one compromising love for power and stability. The thought gives her pause, as she dresses for the morning. He’s been gone for three years. Just as soon as he had joined the military he had been taken away and his death had shaken the lives of their royal family and the country.

Maddie shakes her head, hoping to throw the thoughts of him out of her mind for the time being. She still misses him and probably always will, but she knows he’d want her to focus on being the best queen she could be. She dresses with the help of her maids, their chattering excitement a constant comfort. She had spent weeks picking out the perfect dresses and suits to make a good impression. The burgundy dress sweeps against her ankles and she feels confident in a way that she hadn’t since decided to begin her search. Her clothes will be at least a little comforting for the next week, a shield to show the perfectly prepared façade she hopes she pulls off.

There’s a knock at her door and in saunters her best friend, head-to-toe in his own royal regalia.

“Well, Your Majesty, don’t you look nice.”

She smiles, shaking her head with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not queen yet, Josh.” Maddie checks herself in the tall, ornate mirror one last time before taking off towards the door of her bedroom. “But thanks anyway. I may as well look nice for the teeth-pulling ahead.”

“It won’t be that bad, Maddie.” Josh huffs as they speed-walk side by side.

“Ew, it definitely will.” And she’s rushing through the corridors of the palace, not because she’s late (guests won’t begin arriving for another two hours at the earliest and a queen is never late, everyone is simply early), but because she wants to make sure everything is in order before the first guest arrives, mental lists being checked off with every step as she double and triple checks off item after item. “I am allowing all of the eligible princes and princesses, dukes and duchesses, barons and baronesses, and well-respected socialites into my home in the hopes that one of them will be able to help me run a country without their ego getting in the way.”

It’s not that she’s necessarily needs the help. But it’s hard to be princess and harder to be queen, which, for Maddie, will occur in approximately two years. She’s been planning this moment since she was a young teen, even before Daniel’s untimely death, and she’s ready to take on the responsibility. She’s ready for the bureaucratic meetings and the late nights, but she just doesn’t want to do it alone. Maddie had figured it was about time she opened herself up to more possibilities. Sure, throughout high school and now during university there have been a few dalliances between some of the same royals she’s welcoming into her home for the next week. They were never serious, though. There was never that wonderful spark that she thinks she saw in her parents growing up.

“Don’t think about it like that.” Josh says, his hands coming to her shoulders to stop her in her tracks. “Think of it like all the other balls you’ve thrown. A time to get to know people and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have fun and find the love of your life.”

“You’ve always been the optimistic one.”

His smile grows wide. “And I always will be. Now go. You’ve got royals to meet.”

Josh is gone from her side almost as quickly as he came and he’s right. She should try to not put so much pressure on this even though it’s the most important decision she’s made thus far. She’ll try to have fun and keep an open mind.

Maddie stands outside at the top of the grand staircase up to the palace, waiting for the arrival of her guests who she’ll greet before one of the butlers shows them off to their rooms. It’s something she’s done many, many times, but this time is different. She’s on the search for something that probably won’t be love, but maybe understanding and companionship. That should be enough, shouldn’t it?

“Prince Douglas of House Kendall” the footman announces. Doug steps from the limo, his suit perfectly tailored and his hair coiffed, not a strand out of place. He’s smug, as always, flirting with her though it makes her skin crawl. Well, he makes her skin crawl now. He hadn’t a few years ago when he had been someone she thought could have been the one. He’s too arrogant in private, too strict, expects the world to fall at his feet and for it to be perfect. Still, he’s one of the most eligible bachelors and she’d be lucky to have him as her king. At least, that’s what everyone else thinks.

Evan, or Buck as he’s taken to being called since his own adventures have started to flourish in his life, is by her side in an instant and she knows exactly why when the telltale flags of the stretch limo come into her line of vision.

“Duchess Taylor of House Kelly”, the footman introduces in his booming voice that Maddie is sure will give her a headache by the end of the day. She would be an apt contender, Maddie silently muses, but she’s her brother’s best friend and has been for the past five years and somehow that just feels wrong. Maddie knows that her younger brother spends a lot of time with the duchess, sparring and shooting at flying plates whenever they get the chance (a surprise to Maddie considering how rough and tumble they can be). She also has an inkling that her little brother might have a bit of a crush, and she has a tinier inkling that Taylor feels the same.  

She greets her as Taylor bounds up the stairs, a bright smile on her face. They’re practically family at this point so she really would fit perfectly, but no, she’s already crossed her name from her mental list. Besides, Taylor’s excitement isn’t for her but instead for her best friend who is already talking her ear off. Maddie tells them to go ahead, have their fun while she stays and greets the rest of the guests and the dynamic duo is already talking a mile a minute about what their plans are for the rest of the week.

Maddie is there for another hour, doing princess duties and greeting each potential suitor and nosy guest who’s only attending for good gossip. Her feet are tender and her face stiff from the plastered on smile as one final limo pulls into the circular driveway, those familiar flags stopping her heart and slowing down time. Out steps one Howard Han, sleek in his country’s royal colors of bright reds and vibrant golds. She hasn’t seen him since she was sixteen, a few months before Daniel had died. It had been two weeks after his eighteenth birthday and his father had forced him to return to their country or abdicate the throne. He had loved being a prince and his mother had always said he would be a great king, but his father had rushed him into the more serious side of his princely duties earlier than he would have liked.

No time has passed at all before he’s standing in front of her with that same boyish grin that still feels so friendly yet now with an underlying hint of something she can’t quite put her finger on. He’s a bit taller than that last time she’d laid eyes on him, more muscular too.

“Princess, it’s good to see you again.” He must see the shock on her face because he’s scratching at the back of his neck. “I hope I didn’t ruin your guest list. I was a late RSVP.”

For a moment she just stares at him before shaking her head with an almost shy smile. “It’s good to see you too. And it is absolutely no problem, there’s a room waiting for you.”

“Good, I guess I’ll see you later at the welcome ball.”

She nods her head, blush still coloring her cheeks as he follows the last butler to his room.

…

The orchestra plays as she enters the ballroom at the top of yet another grand set of stairs. She notices her parents have deigned to show their faces, knowing they’re only there for the press.  All eyes on her and somehow in the crowd she finds Howie’s. As much as she wants to talk to him, Princess Maddie kicks in and her smile is bright and cordial while she greets her guests. She makes a short speech and then the ball begins, and she’s swept away to mingle and dance and scope out her future spouse.  

As she dances with yet another forgettable suitor, she catches Howie’s gaze as he leans against a high table, and he pulls a face that makes her snort and hide in the shoulder of her dance partner. She shouldn’t be so focused on him, it’s not what a good hostess would do. But Maddie can’t help it. In the three years since they’ve seen each other, he’s changed. His jaw is sharper, his hair messier. He’s clean shaven and she wonders if that’s new or if he sometimes has stubble that would feel rough against her cheek… She stops herself, shaking her head and abruptly but politely excusing herself.

She stands on the side of the dancefloor, shaded by the cover of a gigantic pilar as she stops to take a deep breath. Maddie doesn’t think she expected to find the love of her life here. Love at first sight doesn’t exist, not to her at least. But if she really thinks about it, that’s not what this is either. She didn’t just see Howie for the first time and fall in love. She definitely didn’t romantically love him when they were children. But he’s so familiar, and his smile warms the pit of her stomach and that must mean something.

“May I have this dance?” Her eyes settle on the glove-covered hand, following up the sculpted arm and curved shoulder. They settle on the brightest eyes of Howard Han of Manicague and yeah, this means something. Maddie nods and her hand slips into his and they’re off to twirl around the dance floor.

He sweeps her across the room, their focus completely on each other as though they’re the only two in existence, everyone else fading to the background.

“What have you been up to, Prince Howard?”

“You know, some people call me Chimney now,” he smiles, standing a bit straighter.

Intrigued by the change of posture, she tilts her head and flashes him a dazzling smile that definitely affects him if the sparkle in his eyes mean anything. “And why is that?”

“That’s a conversation that shouldn’t be had on a ballroom dance floor.” It’s innocent but there’s something in the way the timbre of his voice drops that shoots right to the butterflies that flutter inside of her. Her foot just catches his toe enough for him to feel it. Howie winces, but chuckles through it, “Still stumbling after all this time, my Princess?”

Maddie’s steps falter yet again, her cheeks flushing scarlet as she scoffs. Because she’s been Princess Maddie and Her Royal Highness Madeline her entire life, but since she was five years old, she was his princess. Back then, she was his princess in purely innocent, best friend ways. And maybe they could be best friends again and maybe she could be his princess. His Queen.

“From what I remember I never missed my marks unless you tripped me.”

“Me? Trip a princess? Never”

She laughs again. “Please, I remember at least twice when you purposefully tripped me.”

“I was nine!”

“It was still purposeful!”

He holds her closer, the room and music from the ochestra fading away even more than it already had as warmth fills her entire being. “Well, maybe you’ll fall differently this time and I’ll be right there to catch you like before.”

Maddie’s chest rises and falls deeply as she stares into his warm, kind eyes. She nods, lip between her teeth. “Maybe.”

She has to remind herself to tell Josh that it probably won’t be that bad after all.

[valhallanrose]

A Kindling, Of Sorts

The invitation to join their grandmother that would change Astoria’s course forever. 

This fic predates What the Water Gave Me and Katrinah Josephina, taking place when Astoria is about thirteen. 

Astoria is nonbinary, and uses she/they pronouns interchangeably. 

4k words. No CWs apply. Title: A Kindling, Of Sorts by The Oh Hellos

In the early hours of the morning, Castle Kintyre was beginning to stir, the hearths lit to combat the mid-winter cold and servants passing through the halls to begin their duties before the Canonach family began to rise and emerge for the day.

Of all the children who lived within the castle walls, only one would willingly stir so early, rising with the sun and making their way down to the lounge where their instrument sat covered in a swathe of fabric to keep it protected from the forces that were their cousins. 

With a serene smile on their face and their harp between their knees, Astoria began to play, half-closed eyes fixed on the rays of golden sunlight that began to filter through the window from the morning sky. 

The sky shifted from lavender, to rose, and when the sky began to shift to gold the door to the lounge creaked open. They didn’t seem to notice the sound, not when the wooden floorboards squealed and a cane tapped lightly against the carpet until the source of it stopped a few feet away from where Astoria sat.

“Do you ever sleep, Astoria?”

They jolted out of their trance, hands falling away from the harp strings to rest on their knees and looking sheepishly toward their grandmother as they laid their cheek against the shoulder of the instrument. 

“I do, I just...don’t like to waste the day. And I wanted to play before Erskine woke up. They pulled some of the strings out of tune the last time I played around them.” Astoria shrugged lightly, their hands lifting to the strings again to pluck out a few notes. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Not at all. Seems the older I get, the less time I spend asleep.” Myrna chuckled, leaning on her cane slightly as she lowered herself into a plush armchair across from Astoria. “Though I suppose that isn’t so bad, getting some peace before the chaos that is our family. Would you be willing to play for me a little while longer?”

Astoria cracked a smile at that, watching as their grandmother accepted the tea tray from a passing maid and poured herself a cup with a relaxed sigh. “Any requests?”

“Whatever your heart desires.” Myrna waved a hand as she leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes, both hands wrapped around her teacup and cane kicked defiantly beneath her chair - an action that made Astoria giggle before turning back to the harp.

And so, Astoria readjusted their posture, raised their hands to the strings, and began to play again - a gentle melody that filtered through the air as the sky transitioned from gold to clear, crisp blue. 

They sat like that until Myrna’s eyes snapped open at the sound of gurgling laughter in the halls, quick footsteps making Astoria leap out of their seat and toss the cover over the harp before Erskine could come charging in - 

Only for the laughter to pass, the sound of Flora’s playful voice following the toddler down the hall toward the kitchens for breakfast.

Astoria breathed a sigh of relief as they slumped back into their seat, and Myrna chuckled, rising to her feet and offering Astoria a hand as she patiently waited for them to finish smoothing out the cover. 

“Remind me to pester Errol into helping you move the harp out of the lounge. It’s the least he can do, since it’s his child terrorizing the instrument.” Myrna smirked a little, then flung an arm around Astoria’s shoulder as they stood. “Suppose we should go be social and get breakfast?”

Astoria grinned a bit at that, looping an arm around Myrna’s waist and letting their grandmother guide them out of the lounge. “If I must, I’ll make the sacrifice. Do you think they’ll have butteries by the time we get there?”

“Monroe knows to save me a few. I’ve brawled with my brother for the last one too many times.” Myrna brandished her cane playfully, making Astoria snort in amusement, then gave them a squeeze. “Come on, then, I heard they broke into the gooseberry jam this morning. Gods know the gooseberries here are better than I can get when I’m on the road.”

*      *      *      *      *

Mealtime was always somewhat...eventful. 

The eldest generation was still fairly young - Malvina, having only recently stepped down from the title of Baroness at sixty-four, had just turned sixty-six a few weeks past. Ualan had just broken seventy, as the eldest, with Griselda, Monroe, and Astoria’s grandmother Myrna behind them in their fifties and sixties. 

Their children, encompassing Flora, Fiona, Bridget, Grace, Quinn, and Astoria’s mother Senga, were starting families of their own by then. Save for Bridget, who had just turned eighteen to Astoria’s thirteen - certainly an odd thing to consider, having an aunt who was close to them in age, but Astoria liked Bridget - but Flora, Grace, and Quinn had all married by then. 

Flora’s child was Erskine, the harp-assaulting toddler currently raising a fuss at the end of the table for not being allowed to have a third buttery when half the table wasn’t there yet. 

Astoria did not envy Flora for having to wrangle them.

Grace had two children, one with each of her spouses. Sachairi, the closest to Astoria in age at a mere six months younger than them, and Leana, who was eleven. 

And then, of course, Astoria themself - the eldest of their cousins, having turned thirteen in the summer - and their half-sibling, Malcolm, who was a few months shy of turning a year old. 

The breakfast table was usually full of some degree of bickering and healthy debate over clan affairs, something Astoria was content to watch while nibbling on a tattie scone and staying well away from. It’d been especially intense since their mother became Baroness of Kintyre, opening the door for new policy and leadership to see what new directions they could lead the clan in now that a new generation had come to the forefront. 

Astoria found it all rather snore-worthy. 

Sachairi settled into the seat to Astoria’s right, elbowing them lightly before he reached for the plate of tattie scones they’d dragged closer to their plate when it seemed nobody else was interested in them.

“Morning, cousin. Willing to share?”

Astoria shrugged, reaching up and ruffling his mop of red curls as he snagged a scone and shoved it halfway into his mouth. “Help yourself. Have you got lessons this morning?”

“No, they’re in the afternoon.” Astoria made a face as crumbs fell from his mouth, and he paused, covering his mouth to finish chewing before he continued. “Sorry. I meant to ask you, though, what’s the big deal happening in the library today? Something about your mom having some friends over?”

“Yeah, mum’s got some visitors. Friends from other clans who wanted to see Malcolm. I don’t really know, she’s been pretty busy lately and I haven’t wanted to interrupt the whole ‘new happy family’ thing she’s got going on.” Astoria didn’t notice the way Myrna paused in the seat across the table, instead shoving a bite of eggs into their mouth and gesturing with their fork a little when they continued. “In the library, though? That blows, I wanted to go poke around the shelves a bit this morning.”

Sachairi glanced left, then right, then leaned in to whisper excitedly to Astoria as they ate. “We still could poke around, you know. There’s that passage by the library we can sit in, maybe go listen? For all the talk about the clans we’ve been hearing, it’d be great to hear it from the horse’s mouth. I mean, your mom’s not a horse -”

Astoria snorted into their glass of water, grinning a bit as they elbowed Sachairi lightly. “None taken, I knew what you meant. But yeah, I’d be alright with that. Now eat your breakfast, your rumbly stomach isn’t giving us away when we try and listen in.”

*      *      *      *      *

The pair had practically barreled away from the table as soon as they were given permission to go, dashing down the halls toward the passage that led up to a gap behind the shelves where they could slip out a few books and listen in close to the group of giggling women in the alcove usually reserved for studying, not teatime. They pulled out just enough to peer through, to hear their voices, but not enough to make them visible to an unobservant eye. 

Astoria could see Senga, with her back to the shelf they hid behind, long blonde hair braided back and falling neatly over her shoulder out of Malcolm reach. The other women Astoria didn’t recognize - one brunette, one redhead, another blonde, one with hair so blue it looked black. They seemed to have arrived mid conversation, where the redhead had been passed a sleeping Malcolm and allowed to hold him while Senga watched over them both like a hawk. 

“...so darling, Senga, my boys were never this sweet when they slept. They always seemed on the brink of waking up and screaming whenever I held them.” The brunette laughed, leaning in to push a bit of Malcolm’s blanket out of his face where he lay in the redhead’s arms. “Was Catriona as darling when they were a babe?”

Astoria wrinkled their nose as Senga shrugged, the chuckle audible on her lips as she reached for a teacup. “Sometimes. Catriona was very vocal - can’t remember a night they didn’t wake up crying at some point. But Astor was an expert at getting them to settle when Riordan couldn’t. Catriona was always attached to them.”

“Astor?” Sachairi whispered, and Astoria nodded, pushing their glasses up their nose as they watched intently.

“My mum’s brother. He passed away when I was six, but I remember how nice he was. Always taught me about something new when I came to see him. Uncle Astor was sick for a long time, we all knew it was coming, but...Granny says he loved me like he would have his own children. I’ll tell you more about him another day. You would have liked him.”

Sachairi nodded, leaning his chin on the shelf and closing his eyes as the two fell silent again.

The redhead eventually passed Malcolm back, watching with a serene look on her face as Senga cradled their half-brother close to her chest in the crook of one arm.

“Catriona’s what, thirteen now? How do you feel having a baby after so long? I imagine some of it is like muscle memory by now.”

Senga shrugged, dropping a kiss to the top of Malcolm’s head. “To a degree, yes. But James has been quite helpful, and with all the changes about our lives, and my family has been kind. My cousin Flora had a child three years ago, Erskine, and she’s been happy to offer advice where she can.”

There were a few beats of pause as the blonde cooed at the baby before the blue haired woman spoke up, hands folded neatly in her lap. 

“Do you...regret having a baby, so soon after taking the title? You’d barely been married when Malvina stepped down and it passed to you. Adjusting to a new child is hard enough, but the title, and James has said he felt like Catriona needed more time to adjust to the idea of having a stepfather after it just being you two for so long…”

Senga sighed heavily, enough for Astoria and Sachairi to see. “Not at all. While it’s certainly intense all at once, it feels like something I’ve been missing...has been completed. Perhaps the timing isn’t ideal, but of course I wouldn’t trade my baby for the world.”

Sachairi sighed himself before turning to Astoria and giving their arm a comforting squeeze. “Come on, Tori, it’s just mom gossip. We don’t have to stay. Why don’t we go for a ride?”

Astoria nodded, reaching for the books they’d taken down to slip them back onto the shelf. “You go ahead, I’ll just put these back. I’d feel bad if someone couldn’t find them where they were supposed to be.”

With a nod, Sachairi slipped out of the passage, and Astoria quickly began to reshelve the books. The women continued talking, long enough for Astoria to tune them out when they continued talking about James and Malcolm in particular...when their own name drew them back into the conversation.

“Catriona...I must admit, has never felt like my child.” Senga mused, tilting her head back as she spoke. 

Astoria froze in place, the last book half shelved, eyes fixed on their mother from the gap in the books still left behind.

“Catriona always took after others. Riordan, Astor, my mother...I never felt connected to them. They were always someone else’s child. And in the beginning, I didn’t mind. I had cousins ahead of me for the barony, so I thought that if I had a child before the others, I would at least be able to impart some influence on what the clan should be through them. I didn’t expect Astor to pass, nor did I expect both of my cousins to abdicate and pass the title to me. And now that I have it...I have a new child, a new husband. I feel that the bridge is impossible to overcome for Catriona and I to have a personal relationship beyond leader and heir. I am simply glad to have a family I can observe as my family, nothing more than that.”

Senga shrugged, and while the redhead, the blonde, and the brunette all seemed to nod along in understanding, the blue haired woman seemed aghast at the idea. 

“You had Catriona solely to ensure you had influence over the barony? What if Catriona doesn’t want it, what will you do then?”

“That’s not their choice. They know their obligations to the clan, and I won’t allow them anything less than what they’ve worked for all these years.” Senga seemed unbothered as she reached for her cup, bringing it to her lips as she spoke. “Such is the way of heirs, is it not? Their lives are laid out for them, and I expect nothing of Catriona beyond fulfilling the duty they were born for. I will rule, and then they will, and we will shape the clan the way it should be.”

The book fell from the shelf, thumping quietly to the stone floor, but Astoria couldn’t find it in themself to mind as tears began to trickle down their cheeks. 

That’s not their choice.

Was that...was that it, then? They’d felt a little...replaced since their mother remarried and had Malcolm, but...to hear it out loud, to know that you were expected to be nothing but a tool to further someone else’s agenda? To know your own mother did not love you, but what you could give to her? To know that you didn’t have a say in who you were, who you could become, that you were heir alone and that was the only purpose you were permitted to have?

Clasping a hand over their mouth to stifle their sobs, Astoria fled the passage and ran down the halls of Castle Kintyre - the broad stone walls feeling like they were caving in around them, crushing weight as they felt their breath catch in their throat. 

They ran blindly, stumbling through the halls and trying to hide their tears until they damn near bowled over their grandmother on the way to their bedroom. Myrna stumbled, leaning hard on her cane to catch them both, and had hardly opened her mouth to ask Astoria if they were alright before their grandchild was blubbering through an apology with tears streaming down their face. 

Finding their grandmother, the most comforting presence they knew, seemed to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

“I’m - I’m sorry, granny, I didn’t mean to -”

Myrna took a good look at them, really looked at them, then quickly pulled them back in for a hug that left Astoria burying their face in the fabric of Myrna’s shirt to try and stifle their whimpers. 

“Oh, please, I’ve suffered worse than a tumble!” Myrna laughed, smoothing a hand over Astoria’s short pink hair and kissing the top of their head as they tried and failed to stop crying at Myrna’s words. “What’s wrong, a bhobain? I know you wouldn’t cry like this over a simple bump. Come, come, we’ll go sit in my room. I’ve just snuck some cookies from the kitchen, and I need someone to help me hide the evidence.”

Astoria cracked a small smile at that, and Myrna kissed their brow, smoothing a hand across their cheek to wipe away the trails of their tears that her shirt hadn’t absorbed. 

“There’s my little rascal. Tears don’t suit you, Astoria.” Myrna looped her arm through theirs, guiding them down the hall toward the heavy mahogany door that Astoria knew led to their granny’s room. “Deep breaths, and then you’ll tell me what happened, yes?”

With a sniff, Astoria nodded, and Myrna led her inside her living quarters. A few steps carried them both to the two plush armchairs in front of the hearth, where Myrna sat them down and made them take a chocolate chip cookie out of the handkerchief she’d shoved in her pocket before prompting them as gently as she could to explain what was going on. 

Slowly, ever so slowly - and through a new bout of tears - Astoria tried their best to recount what they’d heard in the passage, unable to meet Myrna’s eyes as she repeated the phrases that stuck out in her mind and refused to escape. They only managed to look up when they finished and their granny said nothing, the silence between them so thick and 

Myrna looked like fury hardly contained - white knuckled grip on her cane, expression dark, angrier than Astoria had ever seen their usually energetic grandmother in all their years. 

“Are you...are you mad at me, granny?” Astoria asked timidly, shrinking back in their chair as Myrna shook her head slightly.

“No.” Myrna got out, eyes fixed on a spot on the carpet as her jaw visibly ticked. “But I am furious with your mother. The absolute nerve of her -”

They flinched as Myrna shot to her feet, cane abandoned as she limp-paced around the carpet. “Please don’t tell her I was listening, granny, she’d get so upset with me for spying…”

“That’s her own damn fault for saying it in the first place.” Myrna snarled, then froze when Astoria let out a small whimper at the intensity of her tone. 

She let out a breath, trying to calm herself down enough so that she could school her expression back into one of neutral calm. For as angry as she was...there were more important things at hand. 

Slowly, Myrna stepped closer, kneeling in front of Astoria’s armchair after a bit of effort and clasping their hands tightly in her own.

“I want you to listen to me, and I need you to listen well. You understand?”

Astoria nodded, lowering their eyes to their clasped hands as Myrna leaned her forehead against theirs and let out a sigh.

“No human is perfect. I make mistakes, your great aunts and uncles and your cousins make mistakes, your father made mistakes in the time I knew him. Your mother is no exception - she has made many mistakes in her lifetime, Astoria, but you are not one of them, and damn her for making you think otherwise. There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful for your birth, a day where I am not filled with joy when I come home and see the way you smile at me and welcome me back, a day where I do not love you for who you are and how proud I am to call you my grandchild.” 

Myrna squeezed their hands again as she heard Astoria sniffle, uncaring of the tears of her own that were beginning to slide down her cheeks. “Astor loved you. Balfour loved you, gods rest them both. Your cousins love you. I love you. You are so, so loved, my darling, and it breaks my heart to know that you have doubted it for even a moment as a result of someone else’s cruel words.”

She released Astoria’s hands to cup their cheeks, tilting their head down to press a few kisses to their brow. 

“What do I do, granny?” Astoria whispered, laying their hands over Myrna’s and squeezing their eyes shut. “Mum said...mum said she had me so I could be the baronet, but I don’t…”

Myrna leaned back slightly, enough to look Astoria in the eye when she tipped their chin up and waited for them to tentatively meet her gaze despite the tears that filled both their eyes. 

“Damn the barony. Damn all of it, Astoria, because the barony means nothing if you are not happy. No title, no amount of money, no amount of power, nothing is worth giving up your happiness. No matter what your mother said, you have a choice, and if that choice is throwing everything she wanted for you at her feet, then I will stand behind you because I know it is what you want. No one can make you be anything that you don’t want to be.”

Astoria tried to swipe at their cheeks, but the tears only fell faster before Myrna pulled them into a tight embrace right there on the fur rug beneath them both. They sat together a long, long while, Astoria’s face buried in Myrna’s neck and Myrna holding onto Astoria like she was afraid they’d disappear. It would only be when Astoria quieted that Myrna would speak up, her voice gentle and thick with emotion all her own that she’d been trying to keep at bay for the sake of comforting their grandchild.

“Sweetheart, I want you to think about something.” Myrna murmured, prompting Astoria to lift their head and look up at her to show she was listening. “I’m leaving next week. I have to go north, up to Prakra to speak to some colleagues, and then I’ll be going to Firent to work on a dig site. I’ll be gone from here for about two months, perhaps longer if I’m asked elsewhere. But...I want you to think about coming with me this time.”

“Come with you?” Astoria echoed, and Myrna nodded, smoothing some of Astoria’s hair back from their face. 

“You’ve spent your whole life here in Rosinmoor. I want to give you the chance to see the world, see what’s beyond our home - give you a chance to see what you could possibly become.” Myrna swiped a thumb across Astoria’s damp cheek, smiling a little despite herself. “I want you to know that you have choices, and I want you to understand how much bigger life is than it is here at Castle Kintyre.”

“What...what about mom?”

“Your mother may be Baroness, but she’s sure as hell got no authority over me. If you tell me you want to go, you’re going, and if I have to fight tooth and nail to make it happen, I will.” Myrna let out a playful growl, prodding at Astoria’s sides with tickling fingers and smiling when a peal of laughter fell from their lips and they shoved her hands away. “You don’t have to decide now, but -”

Astoria shook their head, looking up at Myrna with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. “No, I...I want to go. I want to go to Prakra, Firent, anywhere you go. I want to see it all for as long as you’ll let me.”

A smile broke across Myrna’s lips, and carefully, she reached for her cane - not before bringing Astoria in for another tight embrace. 

“Trust me, my dear, you’re welcome to follow me anywhere. You’re far more welcome company than some of my other traveling companions.”

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

Hiya! So in your opinion what do you think it would take for the Papas and Cardinal Copia to open up and be vulnerable with a S/O? Would it need time and trust, maybe an event which caused them to have an epiphany, or maybe they get caught at a bad time and need some comfort? Thank you!

I accidentally made this into a giant character introspection, whooooooooooops! 

Ooooooooooooooooh boy, this is gonna be a long one so sit down! There’s no easy answer for me to give without a thesis sooooooooooooooooooooo-

Papa’s and Copia - What it Takes to have them be Truly Vulnerable with an S/O

Character flaw and reflection time! I will warn you these men are all far from perfect! 

There’s definitely a LOT of elements and circumstances for each of these Antipopes, so I will try my best to sum it up without letting it get too big! Trust will be the key word in opening them all up! 

A super short answer for this would be a small chart. From easiest to hardest to open up genuinely to an S/O (regardless of the situation), it would look something like this. 

Papa Nihil

Papa I

Cardinal Copia

Papa II

Papa III

Keeping this in mind is actually really important as a lot of it has to play into each personality and life experiences. Even then, this is a super tight race! They all don’t blindly trust and they all have a level of mystery they NEED to keep about them. So it’s a huge mix of their jobs as Papas and who they are deep down. 

There is a reason such things like Prime Movers exist/ Having courtesans and harem members rather than proper spouses. A Papa could easily be compromised by a spouse. With either a partner using them to manipulate the Church, or straight up betraying them. A Papa has to be alert, smart, and VERY VERY sure when choosing a lifelong mate. They have to be able to know without a doubt that they can count on their partner with their very lives and the lives of others. 

THEN there are so many personal factors and circumstances that come into play! It’s safe to say that all of them are emotionally guarded in some way, shape, or form. That comes with the territory of being a Hell Blooded man of power. You don’t know who REALLY loves you, who’s using you, or who wants something. On top of that, the emotional burdens of their work, their faith, personal fears, and the expectations put on them. 

It can be VERY hard to gauge what really clicks for each of them to trust someone. So, as asked, we will take a look into each of them! :)

Papa Nihil:

If you caught him in his younger years, he might have been more trusting with a serious partner. Not out of naivety or blind love, but out of arrogance. Arrogance that a partner could not hurt him even if they betrayed him. Nihil had an ego to him and felt on top of the world- being Papa and nothing to stop him. Not even a broken heart! To him, the worst thing that could happen with an S/O would be heartbreak, and he refused to believe that was anything that could break him! Well… it ended up happening with Sister Imperator. So after she left, he understood the consequences of his actions and what that would actually feel like. It’s not something he’s too keen to feel again. 

As he got older, he hardened. The only one who has really ever seen his softer, vulnerable side has been Imperator. She’s the only one he remotely trusts in the deepest sense, and even then- he has doubted her motives with the introduction of Copia! Nihil learned the hard way that putting your trust in the wrong people can have serious consequences to your life. 

That all being said, two things really work with getting Nihil to be open to you with his feelings. First would be his “test”- not something he purposely does to make his S/O jump through hoops, mind you. Consider it an observation period where he sees how serious a relationship can be with you. Nihil doesn’t mind flings, and as Grand Papa, has a willing harem at his disposal. The first months or years with a single partner is him learning about them. This goes from seeing how serious YOU are, your intentions and sincerity, how well you both click, and how close you end up being. That, and making sure you aren’t just using him. Granted, he doesn’t mind the occasional arm candy or someone who just wants to have fun. Those are just the partners he doesn’t put extra effort into when it comes to emotions or deeper mental intimacy.

The second is just plain old time. If you two become serious, and stick by each other through thick and thin- you will learn about him. Nihil will slowly disclose more and more to you. Don’t go crazy, because the Grand Papa is always watching for any hints of betrayal (nothing personal, it comes with the job.) So the more you are trustworthy, the more he shares. There will be a few tough subjects to crack with him, like his relationship with Imperator and his sons. But the more you mutually talk and grow together, the more things work out. I will warn you, no matter how much he trusts you he IS a stubborn old goat and some information HAS to be pried from him- simply because HE WILL NOT ADMIT ANYTHING TO HIMSELF SOMETIMES. 

Papa I:

Papa can be very open and trusting with a serious partner, that typically is not the problem. Granted, he’s very analytical so his own feelings are something he tries to approach logically. But that’s not the problem. The hurtle would just be you both getting to be a serious couple in the first place. As to him there is a vast difference between a sexual/romantic fling, casual companionship, and the workings of a true mate ship. The last of which is riddled with pitfalls due to his place as Papa and carrier of his bloodline. 

Papa tends to let his sense of duty rule over almost every aspect of his life. He is one of the ‘purest’ followers of Lucifer, and it shows in everything he does! Because of that, he has not typically sat down to consider companionship past his carnal needs and having someone to spend time with. Typically anything deeper would mean something equivalent to our idea of marriage- and with “marriage” to a Papa brings up the topic of possible heirs brought on by the Ministry. When a Papa is heavily involved with someone beyond their casual lovers, the idea of heirs is ALWAYS discussed. The Bloodline HAS to be continued. Depending on the sex of the partner, questions will be asked such as- can the partner become a prime mover? If possible are they SUITABLE? If they can’t have children will they interfere in possible heirs being made? In short, Papa equates “Serious” partners to this duty to sow the seeds of the bloodline’s future. 

That being said, Papa would actually prefer a partner he could be open with. The trick is that he has to snap himself out of thinking just for the family and ministry’s sake. Which is self admittedly a difficult feat for him, because he’s always in work and faith mode. That’s just who he is. The other just has to do with how he treats others. 

Typically Papa is much more interested in what you, his partner, is feeling. This comes with YEARS of thinking of everyone but himself. Papa has had to consider his flock, the will of the high clergy, the will of his father, the wants and needs of his brothers, and those he considers friends or in need of his guidance. Papa knows how to take care of himself, so HIS feelings are almost inconsequential. Papa much rather let you talk and share how you are than consider himself. It typically just takes a bit of asking and prodding on your part to get him to open up if you two have been close for a long time. Being honest and to the point also helps, as it gives him a moment to collect his thoughts and express himself thoroughly. 

Papa II:

Being emotionally vulnerable for Papa II is very difficult. Not because he CHOOSES to be a ‘wounded bitter old man.’ Even though he is very much that AND a known grouch and perfectionist; Papa just doesn’t know HOW to be. Papa does have emotions and he does feel them very deeply when he’s not trying to tough it out. But Papa has never been GOOD at expressing his feelings, even as a child. It’s not something he was in touch with, and not very comfortable for him to think about. Unlike III, Papa II just cannot seem to find it in himself to express his true feelings. Granted, he could put it into words as he is very eloquent. But… it’s difficult. 

On top of that, Papa has never been one to let his weaknesses appear. Emotions are often embraced by Lucifer, as expressing them. But to Papa, these are his weak points and he prides himself too much in keeping all his weaknesses guarded. Papa has crafted himself to cover his vulnerabilities in such a way that they play to his strengths! For his emotions and true feelings, he detaches from them; giving him the ability to lead with a critical and objective mind not bogged down by empathy. As a Papa, this makes him an excellent and analytical leader. As a lover, this often bites him in the ass- especially in pursuing any SERIOUS life time commitments. Something he wasn’t keen on doing in the first place. 

Papa is very aware of how ‘spouses’ work for the Bloodline. Bonding with a potential mate has always been in the interest of furthering the family, not personal fulfillment. He’s tried VERY hard to keep it that way. And like his father, he is painfully aware of those who would manipulate his feelings. And if we were being honest? The idea of genuinely falling in love scares the absolute shit out of Papa. The idea of being so vulnerable to a person who could crush your very soul, the soul of a demon blooded Antipope, is not something to take lightly! And it’s NOT like he has had any good role models to show how true love should operate… 

To win him over, it would be a good idea to show HIM your vulnerable side first. Kinda like when a cat shows you its belly as a sign of trust. LEt him see the ugly side of you, the insecure- but slowly. Don’t hit him all at once with everything. You have to let Papa come to you. It might take a lot of time this way, but it’s a start- there is a reason he feels more comfortable with submission. It makes him feel so much more secure. Also showing your dedication and love through action and not words will be HUGE! Showing him you can be trusted, that you have a good head on your shoulders, and that you have his best interests at heart. Alternatively, if something life altering should happen to him, you supporting him is the ultimate display of your dependability. If you try to force him at any point he will pull back out of reflex. It’s one of the few times he lets your roles be reversed. 

Papa III: 

Many would accuse his older brother, Emeritus the II, of being the hardest to make vulnerable- yet many are surprised that it is actually him! But Papa has spent years weaving a huge web around himself. Papa has so many masks and layers to him out of fear that sometimes even he doesn’t know what part of him is genuine or not. He learned from an early age that he was the most emotional, and most likely to get hurt. And let me tell you something, Emeritus the Third is NOT a man who likes the feeling of being hurt emotionally. It’s practically unbearable for him. He already deals with a lot of emotional burdens from feeling as though he were the ‘weak’ one of the Bloodline. Truth be told, he hasn’t had the best relationship with his father, either. 

What’s worse? As much as he likes to talk about himself, Papa does NOT like talking about his true issues and anxieties. Papa usually deflects in such subtle ways that those close to him THINK he is being vulnerable, when in truth he is being superficial. So when you hear him complain about how the Ministry treats him, or a minor insecurity brought on by an argument with his brother- you are only scratching the surface. And even if he loves you, Papa does not want you to see that ugly, miserable side of him. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge it himself. If he can barely stand these horrible sides to himself, how does he expect you to stay and accept him? 

For Papa III, the key factor would be time and patience. But this is further made difficult with his fleeting interests and inability to commit. The natural way to his vulnerable side is by never leaving his side, assuming he doesn’t forcibly push you away. For example, one of the few who know him deeply is Omega and his eldest brother, Papa I. That’s because they have been around his entire life. Either you would have to be the same, or be there in a huge moment of weakness to have him even remotely come clean. 

The best (or in his case, worse) would be you being there at his absolute lowest point. When he’s so far gone in his emotions that he can’t even muster up the energy to put on a show. When he can’t bring himself to be Papa, to be charming- hell even RUDE AND ANGRY. The best example would be like if you were around after he was stripped of the Ghost Project and made a fool out of publically. That was such a horrible time for him and everyone around him. But if you are there with unconditional love and he SEES that you love him through every facet of his identity, he will want to stick close and loyal to you. It will take MORE time, but little by little Papa ends up baring his soul to you. He’d be lying if he said he still wasn’t afraid to confide in you, least you up and leave...  

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV:

Copia has struggled with trust nearly his whole life, and ALL of his career in the High Ministry. If we are being honest, as welcoming and loving as the church is, the upper clergy is full of deceit and cutthroat tactics. It’s as competitive and dangerous as any monarchy or noble circles. That’s because within it there is a LOT more at stake. Ministry members have vanished or been found dead thanks to inner politics, and Copia has his share of close calls. He’s had to learn to trust no one but yourself, and never EVER let your guard down too much.

Unfortunately, this does bleed into his personal life. Copia has had his share of bed mates and even lovers that have stuck around longer than anticipated. But long term commitments have been very few and far between. And to be honest, he HAS been burned before. From those who sought to betray him to partners who just DIDN’T LIKE who he really was underneath. Copia has buried that hurt and tried to use it as a reminder of why he needs to keep himself until he makes it to the top. Then NO ONE could hurt him the way they could when he was a mere Ministry member.

Copia has always been really cautious around lovers to the point of paranoia. Where he adamantly refused to let himself be weak at any point! He is always good to them, but is just plain scared of letting his guard down. But the difference between Copia and the rest of the Papas is that Copia CRAVES intimate connection like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes he desperately wants that stability and trust with another person without fear of repercussion. Copia often feels like he can never have it, and it’s one of the few things he wants almost as bad as the Papacy. But he’s never had time or a chance to- far too much to do and too much to risk!

One of the biggest ways Copia ends up calming down around you and actually opening up is if you have been there for the long run. Especially if you two were some type of couple or close BEFORE he was ever chosen for the Ghost project. Copia needs that undying support and consistency to really warm up to you. If you’ve unconditionally been there from the beginning and have not changed since his Papacy, Copia is nothing but loyal to you in return. Copia is a very good actor, but he will still be skittish and reluctant to talk too much. You just have to be patient with him as he gets comfortable. I promise, he wants nothing more than to trust you completely.