we were doing a photoset for graduation and the photographer asked me to smile. i am terrible at faking a smile so it looked very unnatural. she asked someone to make me laugh so i asked my friend to tell a joke. he fucking said "your gpa"
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sometimes i feel like people don't realize that i've changed so much in the past 6 months. like i went through one bad breakup as a teenager with so much more life to live and so many more people to meet and suddenly any romantic (or platonic, tbh) endeavor i try to pursue is deemed "unhealthy"
you'd think dropping my childhood best friends would signal that i know how to communicate my boundaries and shit but ig not. wowww thanks guys for giving me the advice that i've already given myself bc i've taken time to look back on the situation and heal on my own!!!!
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Kevin watching Jean ask Jeremy if he's okay, watching Jean offer to hold Laila's bag so she can fix her shoe, watching Jean hand Cat a granola bar before a game because she looked a little unsteady. He's not jealous, he had his time by Jean's side. Maybe it's grief. Grief for something that was never so innocent, never so untouched by cruel hands, something that could've been better if they were anyone else. Grief for something that's long passed and can never be fixed to be made better than before. He had his time at the receiving end of Jean's concerned glances. Maybe he's just a little sad that when he's at an away game, he no longer buys post cards for a friend. Maybe he just misses this person who used to always be by his side but they both knows it's better this way. Jean is happy, it's not with Kevin, and that's okay.
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the interesting thing about we are is that i believe it's the first bl i've ever seen that truly has one main character. there is a reason why phuwin is the most overworked of them all and why he jokingly complained about the fact that pond wasn't suffering nearly as much as he was, even though he is his on-screen partner. and there is a reason why phuwin said that peem is also the audience in a way because he kind of gets to witness and react to almost everything that happens in the series.
the world of we are is built around peem: it's him and his boyfriend and his best friend and his best friend's boyfriend and the rest of his friends and also his boyfriend's friends. even the things that are seemingly not connected to peem in a particularly direct way are still somehow influenced by him or perceived by him, e.g. tanfang happens because phum agrees to help tan hit on fang in return for meeting up with peem, and then when tan spills the beans about them dating, peem's reaction is centered slightly more than anyone else's, even though there are people who are closer to fang and similarly close to tan in that scene. and though we get insight into phum's life too, for instance, that still somehow circles back to peem, e.g. most phumfang scenes are them literally discussing peem or talking about their parents, which still comes back to phumpeem, as phum's family problems have a huge effect on the boys' relationship.
peem is the sun of the show, and the rest are planets revolving around him or moons of the planets revolving around him in one way or another.
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Ok but how did ace even get a girlfriend in the first place? Did she confess and he just went along with it? Did he think having a girlfriend would make him seem cooler? Was it a dare or something? Cause for someone like ace to just go ghost on her and not have an actual talk, kind of makes me feel like these two were not friends before they were partners.
So then, fast forward to nrc, ace is trying so hard to lose the feelings he has for his best friend. Because that's all they are: friends, homies, if you (duece) will. Yuu has the cream of the crop to pick from, he's kind of at a disadvantage here.
Plus, whose to say their entire dynamic won't change the second they get together? He doesn't want to get bored and start to hate one of his dearest friends by proxy, so might as well just play it safe and suffer a little than take that risk and the both of you suffer a lot 🤷♂️.
Meanwhile yuu, who still has their old phone/mp3 player, has been playing Jenny by Studiokillers on repeat. Lying in their bed, just down horrendous for this absolute ball of boyish mischief. How dare he, honestly?
Well. At least he gives them a lot of openings to flirt with him?
*disclaimer, I was home schooled so my actual knowledge about middle school dating is beyond non-existent so take what I say with a grain of salt
The information we get about Ace's girlfriend comes from his suitor suit vignette and he does not mention how they actually got together, just some of the things that they did and how boring Ace thought all of them were. And I agree! The way they broke up does not make it sound like they were friends before dating, though they could have been casual acquaintances. The way Ace likes to goof around makes me think he was probably pretty popular, and had a lot of those types of relationships. His description of the relationship makes me think he probably went out with her because he thought she was cute and that it would be fun to have a girlfriend, but didn't actually stop to think about who she was as a person or what dating actually means. And hey, he was in middle school. He was going to be a bit stupid about those sort of things. The experience seems to have made him think a lot about what he wants in a partner, and we know from Ortho he was telling the truth when he's forced to spell it out:
His voice lines flesh out what he wants a bit more; he says he thinks it's important to find someone you have fun with and that he wants to get married later in life. So Ace knows what he wants... he just gets really embarrassed when called out on it and refuses to talk honestly about his feelings (though he kind of does that in general hehe)
So flashing forward to NRC. Ace knows what he wants and Yuu is such a perfect fit it hurts. Best friends to lovers is a popular trope in fiction sure, but in real life? At a school? Yeah right, Ace still has to see them every day if they break up, and not to mention... I feel like Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Yuu sort of fell into their dynamic almost immediately after the mine adventure and didn't ever stop to think about it because of how natural the friendship felt. And Ace knows if things end badly he's losing the whole squad, so yeah. Better to just swallow this and stay where he is. He's still in school! He doesn't need to think about dating! He's got a housewarden to surpass, upperclassmen he admires, and a bunch of idiots to take care of. He can worry about dating later. Besides, these feelings will go away after graduation he's delusional sure of it!!!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch Ramshackle Yuu is literally in a living hell. Maybe they're a bit more emotionally mature than Ace and they just know this could work out but THEY CAN'T TELL IF HE LIKES THEM BACK BECAUSE HE KEEPS GETTING SHY AND MAKING JOKES FML!!!! But like he also lets them steal his gym shirt :ccc and he gets pouty when someone else makes an offer :ccc and really smug when Yuu says no ccc: so like maaaybe? Or maybe not and this meaningless flirting is all they'll ever have and they just. Try to be ok with it and they sort of hate themselves for it.
until Sebek properly joins the friend group and looses his fucking shit
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