#maybe i might make some nightmare bios…..

[kitty-filez574]

“Perhaps some things are best left forgotten, for now.”

Me when fnaf 4 ending <\3

I am so sorry 😭

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON THE BIRTHDAY ART POST!!!! I APPRECIATE ALL THE REBLOGS AND LIKES!!! I am so happy bro you guys fill me with such joy!!!! Here is some other drawings i made for shuriken in the pnasc au. (scary image)

Yeah uh, im still taking requests on who to draw in the pnasc au :333

Yeah thats all ima dip 🪦

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 21/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi! Would Macaque kidnap Wukong again? I read your comic, the last page, where Macaque is the kidnapping expert. And I'm very curious about it. Anyway, I love your comics! You are awesome.

Haha I don't think they really need it unless they want to do a "traditional wedding courtnapping" but it would be pretty odd since they kind of already live togehter.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know this is definitely a LONG ways away, but, imagine: Wukong and Macaque playing the newlyweds game. What questions? What answers? Who’s asking the questions? Who’s getting the most right?

I wont list all the lesson but I think Macaque would get most of them right just because Wukong never really changed a lot during the years, while Macaque went through different stages of his life, and and he has new hobbies and tastes.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will mk have a nightmare about LBD? If yes Then we will have some angst with fluffy monkeys family moments!!!

Oh he has. He has many. Most of them he has while he is at pigsy's.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can you please shows up a flashback backstory on how MK/Wukong discovered/found out/came out as trans?? 🙏🙏🙏 Banana sundae with chocolate sauce, rainbow sprinkles, THREE cherries, and a super-deluxe one-and-only Monkie King™️ collectible spoon???

Anonimo ha chiesto: will we see any past Shadowpeach?? I’m interested to see how you frame their dynamic back 5en.

Hahah maybe in the future, I'll see

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can we get Wukong telling dad jokes? Please, I’m begging i want to see MK laughing and Macaque just being so disappointed with Wukong yet so smitten. I want to see more Monkey family domestic blissss. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I don't have my dad jokes book here but man give Macaque an award for the patience he has with these two children

@goofybearclown ha chiesto: Hi :3 Just wanted to say I love your shadowpeach and cotl AU!!! I didn't notice you made both at first but when I did I was like "waow :0". Tbh your works are in my top 3 series on Tumblr! @fenikzia ha chiesto: I love your LMK comic so much, I look forward to reading the new additions to it when they come out every other day,and reading your comic just makes my day better. Even if it hasn't updated a particular day, I make sure to go back and reread the newest part.Keep doing what you're doing and make sure to take breaks! @skye-minecraftyt-blog ha chiesto: You! I like you! Your Bio parents Lmk au always makes me extremely happy and I regularly reread it. ((o(^∇^)o)) Just wanted to say it @blazeandsilver ha chiesto: Hello, I just wanted to say your artwork is absolutely stunning, it makes my day whenever I see that you posted something new to the BioParents comic. Please keep up the good work and be sure to take some time for yourself, you’re important too.

AWWWWWW THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hihi shadowpeach au question: You mentioned in the latest comic that Mac is more lean and skinny than Wukong. Will we ever see the full extent of that?? ALSO I ADORE YOUR ART OMG ❤️❤️

A fully naked Macaque you say? Maybe.... who knows....

Anonimo ha chiesto: I come to defend Wukong acting like a man looking at a victorian lady ankles, he hasn’t seen his (ex) husband’s fur in centuries. And he probably hasn’t socialize in years either besides MK and the gang. Romantically he is stunned right? I doubt he has even looked at anyone besides Macaque anyways…

Honestly I like to think that Macaque was the only being in all the universe that was eer able to make him flustered

@mochalikesdrawing ha chiesto: So I got a question, will we ever get to see kaiju MK again?

I have a scene post AU I would like to draw. Maybe.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ignoring all the angst because it is crushing my soul /pos, I'm lowkey convinced that Macaque knows Wukong feels some kind of way about him because he can hear his heartbeat go crazy at certain moments and isn't dumb, but just isn't calling Wukong on it because he's still trying to sort his own feelings first. BUT ONCE HE DOES OH BOY-

Hahah Macaque knows perfectly well Wukong is down for him. In the meantime Wukong is alwasy afraid he's just imagining things bc he's dense af.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think Wukong and macaque would be cuddling and macaque would be watching something scary and Wukong would be trying to not pay attention to it because he hates scary stuff or would it be the other way around?

yess

@ep2nd ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach bio parents au, if MK and Wukong were created by Nuwa, with Nuwa using Macaque and Wukong as a base, has anyone wondered who created Macaque? And does Macaque himself knows?

Wait Nuwa created Wukong? If that's so I think then all the 5 monkeys were made by her, for some reason.

@boonalina ha chiesto: Sooo what exactly is the courtnapping process like? Is it just a simple "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you away" or is it an entire ceremony? Does someone have to lure the person into place? For example, Mei bringing Redson over to a secluded spot so that Mk can "courtnap" him? (Side note: I've been in this fandom for around two years now, and this comic is what made me find out about courtnapping lol)

I "think" anything that can be counted as like a sneak attack that takes them out of guard and brings them to the designated courtnapped room can be considered as courtnapping technically.

Anonimo ha chiesto: ... Hey so your shadow peach bio parent AU is better way better than season five. WOAH, WHO SAID THAT!! (no but seriously it is like a sitcom I tune on ever so often. Much love 🫶)

Haha thank you! That's a HUGE statement!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK has any unique attributes/abilities as a living mass of celestial material?

He's such a cocktail ofdifferent energies I wouldn't be surprised he is able to glow in the dark.

@cjtuy ha chiesto: I do have a question it's mainly about pigsy and tang when and how long have they been together as a couple and did both of them find mk are they married ?

They have been together for almost a year, but I don't think they are married, but maybe that could happen in the future??? But yeah MK found out a little after season 5 that they are together, that was also the same time he started calling Tang "Papa"

Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque added any personal items to the house? Like is he moved in? Have Wukong and macaque improved or changed anything else besides making the bed bigger?

Yes he did! Half of his belongins are in FFM, althought he's a little more minimalistic than Wukong. He also have been bothering Wukong to death so that he can finally organize his stuff (and they were roomates

Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like if they were to play Minecraft or something macaque would be the base mom. He would be the only one to remember to farm food to not starve. The others would probably forget all the time that hunger is a thing in game. Wukong or Mk: oh dang does anyone have food I'm starving Macaque: (always brings extra for this reason) "sighs" yes

AH!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Remember the Minor Scale episode, from season 2? Where MK learn how to shrink himself? And there’s also the final episode of that season where MK just grow very big to try to fight LBD. I just love that part of his power and I have seen very little people showing it. Like, sometimes that power can show up when the poor boy is experiencing overwhelming emotions that can’t be contained anymore, or pure exhaustion. For example, Having many responsibility can lead to a lot of stress and exhaustion and at some point MK just can’t do more and just become tiny, not able to do more. On the opposite, maybe he experience trauma again through a nightmare (like about azure for example) and the emotional burden is to much and he just becomes big because of that. You see my vision? I love sizeshifting base on emotions :)

Aww and i love emotion-based powers, they are just so easy to play around.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Tbh the show should let macaque have a motorcycle. Wukong gets to be passenger princess

Yesss

Anonimo ha chiesto: as we get into the colder months i like to imagine MK’s first winter coat and he’s all super fluffy and warm

Cool for the monkey parents, bad for pigsy and all the hair in the restaurant from sheeding.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so funny if MKs rock hadn't been cracked and he'd been raised on FFM by wukong. If the same thing happens in the show macaque planning to take mks powers thinking he's just Wukongs student but then while macaque and MK are training. Since macaque is so close he notices his ears. (Being raised by a monkey he gets his form sooner) suddenly putting everything on hold busting into FFM and is like WUKONG WTF

There's a fic on AO3 about it it's A Son of Two Dads

@cheese-hommo ha chiesto: Hii, fiesta I want to say I love how you draw and everything, it just looks so cool and beautiful. Now, with the last chapter of Monkey parents Au and so, with the acknowledgement of the demon etiquette and else, DBK and Wukong really misunderstand the comfort scene for a confession? Or something more? It was just so funny seeing the two of them getting so embarrassed at the end 🙂‍↕️

Ah, 2 young demons in their true forms so close to each other, blushing? Scandalous.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I've seen Mk is his Lego merch- he gots a tooth gap- so does this MK have one or did he get it filled?

Wait that was a tooth gap??? I though it was like, a detail of the smile

Anonimo ha chiesto: 🎤 what is your official (if any) opinion on Ink MK? (as a character, plot device, literary parallel, what have you)

It's ok. I personally believe "shadow" version of one character with their own fears and doubts is a clique a little bit too much used. But they give a lot of angst.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Thoughts on Macaque knowing either Japanese or Korean due to him liking anime.

I'll give you one better. Macaque always traveled to Japan pretty frequently during the centuries. Then became a weeb

Anonimo ha chiesto: Maybe it's just me but Wukong looks a bit thicker each time, is it because his fur's thickening or is he getting chubbier ??????? Anyway luv ur art

Both.

[satorusugurugurl]

I Think He Knows: (Chapter Two)

Summary: When your novel takes off and becomes a best seller, doors of opportunities open for you. You can work on the series you have dreamed about all your life. And you’re also given the chance to stay in a tiny cottage in Europe for two years to help with inspiration! Your best friend, Geto Suguru, shatters at the news. How could he possibly tell you how he feels when you’re leaving him? His opportunity appears right before him when you confess that your editor thinks a change of scenery will help with your not-so-steamy romance scenes. They’re lacking a particular spice because you’re a virgin. So, Suguru does what any best friend would do. He offers to teach you how things work. Will you cross that line as friends? Or will you both say goodbye?

Pairing: Geto Suguru x FAB!Reader

Word Count: 4,065

Warning: Language, suggestiveness, grinding, neck kisses 🥴 wet dream, making out

A/N: I loved this got me all hot with several parts. Ugh, I fucking love Geto!!! If you want to be on the tag list you MUST have your age in bio!!

Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven

The alcohol must have gone to your brain. Or maybe it was laced with something! Could alcohol expire? Because there was no way, no way in hell, you heard Suguru correctly.

“I'm sorry.” The smell of earthy musk and mint twists around you like tendrils. “I think I misheard you. Could you repeat that?”

Suguru places his hand flat against the wall next to your head, leaning in closer, his breath teasing your lips. “You heard me loud and clear. I offered to teach you.” Both of you are breathing heavily as your eyes dart from hungry gaze back to his lips.

“I-Is this a joke? Did Satoru put you up to this?”

Your blatant dismissal of his proposal almost hurts. Were you just not into him the same way he was into you? Or were you just shy? There was a possibility that you weren’t sure how to act in a situation like this. Suguru would not manipulate or push you into doing anything you didn’t want. Regardless of how he felt, you’re still his best friend. He didn’t want to ruin your friendship.

“No one put me up to it. This is me, wholeheartedly offering to help you out.”

“T-This is sudden, and you’re drunk.”

Suguru can see a look in your eyes. The subtle way your eyes dart from his eyes to his lips. How you shift your legs, and how your breath comes as heavy exhales against his mouth. You smell like sweet fruit with a twinge of alcohol. He can only imagine how good it would taste if it smelled this good. God, he wants to taste you so fucking back. And from all the ways your body moves, it seems you might like it too. But he wasn’t going to force it on you.

“I’m not drunk, but if you are, we can put a pin in this conversation until later.”

Your fingers grasp his shirt, gently playing with the fabric. He wonders what’s going through that pretty little head of yours. You hadn’t rejected the idea of kissing him, but you hadn’t said yes. He didn’t know that you were buzzed and currently contemplating what you wanted to do.

Having your first kiss in a dark alley with your best friend was tempting. You’d always imagined what it would be like to be kissed. In all the movies and books you’ve read, people make it out to be this extravagant thing. It’s a mind-blowing experience; it could make or break a relationship, which is why you were so hesitant.

Was Suguru offering to ‘help’ you, or was he wanting to lose himself?

Whenever he had nightmares about Riko, he did one of three things. One, he’d throw himself into his art, forgetting to eat while he painted his feelings out. Two, he would find some girl at the bar, take her home and fuck her stupid. The third option was that he’d shut in on himself and ignore calls and texts until you had to intervene, but he hadn’t done that in a couple of years.

Knowing the state that he was in, you were uncertain if he was offering to ‘help’ with research or if he was seeing you as a girl to take home and lose himself in. The alcohol and warmth of an early summer night weren’t helping the situation. You needed to think about this clearly, but he was complicating it.

His mouth was so close; the smell of sake and the mint gum had you melting, inching closer. It was just for research; one kiss wouldn’t hurt, would it? It might help you with your writing; god, just having him so close his hands on either side of your head against the wall, how good he smelt, it had your brain buzzing with inspiration.

“You smell really good.” The breathless words that leave your mouth have Suguru shuddering. “Like really good.”

“Yeah? You smell good, too.” His head is no longer facing you. Instead, his face is in the crook of your neck, and he inhales, taking in your scent. “So good you make me dizzy.”

“O-Ooh.”

Suguru’s eyes are focused on your soft, delicate skin, and then he does something that will probably cross the line, a line that he’s so desperately wanted to run across. His lips gently against your neck, a jolt of warmth between your legs. The tiniest gasp sounds from your mouth, but Suguru notices it’s not a sound of apprehension or displeasure. No, that tiny gasp was one he had heard from several of his past partners. Hearing it leave, other girls had clued him that they were feeling good. Perhaps they might want to take it further.

But hearing it come from you.

The self-control it took for him not to slam his lips against yours at that moment was wavering. He wanted to stay strong, and he had to do it for you and your friendship. By some miracle, he managed to pull himself away from your neck, giving him a chance to take you in.

Your lips were slightly parted, and your chest heaved with the heavy pants escaping you. Seeing you like this in a new light, fuck, this was so intense. Suguru’s lips inched closer, almost touching yours as his breathing quickened to meet yours.

“What do you want.”

“I-I want—” You gulped, gripping his shirt tighter, “I want to—“

“Yo, Suguru!” The side door to the alley opened, and Satoru popped his head out. “Nanami and Shoko just got cut off; they’re ready to go—ooh, oh shit.”

His annoying blue eyes glanced over the two of you. You were pinned against the wall, trapped by his best friend, while Suguru was inches from your face. His sudden appearance had Suguru grumbling in annoyance and you a stuttering mess. The fingers that so delicately held onto Suguru pushed him back, freeing you from his larger frame.

“T-They’re ready to go!?” Your voice was too high as you tried to play it cool but failed miserably. “Great! Let me go wash up real quick!”

Suguru watched as you ran back inside, shoulder-chucking Satoru in the process. His other best friend followed you with his eyes, only stepping out into the alleyway until he lost you in the crowd. When he looked at Suguru, he chuckled nervously. He witnessed him gently bumping his head against the wall.

He could have done that forever if it wasn’t for his friend's hand gently grabbing his shoulder. “Sorry, man, if I knew you two were getting handsy back here, I wouldn’t have barged in like I did.” Suguru exhaled through his nose, letting out all the pent-up frustration that encouraged him to beat the shit out of Satoru.

“Nah, it’s fine; we weren’t even doing anything.”

“Well, we have very different ideas of ‘anything’. Having her caged in by your body, lips inches from each other, did not look at all like anything. That looked like you were finally making a move!”

“A move that you fucked up.” He scrubbed a hand down his face.

“So you’re mad—great uhm—I’m going to wrangle up Nanamin and Shoko.”

While Suguru stood in the alley, trying to calm the almost murderous rage that boiled in his chest, you were splashing water on your face in the bathroom and ignoring the knocks from drunk women outside as you rang your fingers over your lips. The heat of his breath still lingers there, aching to have felt him against you. You found yourself imagining what yanking your best friend in and kissing him would have felt like.

Just imagining it had your body all tingly. Your heart felt as if it had run a marathon. All of these sensations were new and strange, and you liked it. There was excitement about how close Suguru was and how he’d almost kissed you and your neck. Your fingers ran over that spot, trying to imagine what several kisses against your surprisingly oversensitive kin would feel like. One kiss alone had heat pooling between your legs.

Getting turned on by reading books, fanfics, or movies was something you were familiar with. Another thing was getting turned on by another living human, your childhood best friend! Books could only go so far, to actually feel the warmth of another person, one you were familiar with; it had goosebumps rising against your skin.

You could lose yourself thinking about what could have been and how things would have gone down if Satoru hadn’t interrupted you. Would you have let him kiss you? Let his lips, which looked so soft, brush against yours for research? Or would you have chickened out? Several scenarios could have gone down, but you would never know because your dumbass friend had interrupted you both.

Now that you were sobering up, would you even be able to let a situation like that happen again without completely freaking out? Suguru had said he wanted to help improve your romance scenes. But what was it you were so nervous about? Was it just because of the fact you were a virgin? Or was it because Suguru was your friend, and you didn’t want to ruin that? It was most likely a combination of both.

Several things could have happened, and you could stand in the bathroom imagining different outcomes, but that wouldn’t help. The best thing to do was to sober up entirely and process about what the fuck had just happened. You could decide what to do once you wrap your head around it.

Either allow Suguru to teach you things or try to improve your writing on your own.

After several minutes of clearing your head, you left the bathroom, ignoring the glares from the women in line. Suguru was waiting for you at the table where you’d been. Biting down on the inside of your cheek, you waited to see if things were awkward or weird between you.

Much to your relief, he just smiled as you joined his side. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

Things were strangely normal as you and the group crowded in Satoru’s car. The music blasted as Satoru drove to a drive-thru for ice cream. Satoru and Shoko sat in the front, followed by Haibara and Nanami, while you and Suguru sat in the back. Your hands rested near each other, maybe an inch apart.

With the music blaring and the drunken conversations yapping, now might be a good time to talk to Suguru about the almost alley kiss. Turning your head so you could face him, you watched his eyes struggling to stay open. He shut them before shaking his head, trying to keep them open before they ultimately shut again. The nightmares Suguru suffered were the worst. They felt so lifelike, putting him back in his second year, right before the accident. So when he had them, he had issues falling asleep, which was why he’d been up since three.

While the kiss that almost happened was eating you up, begging to be discussed, to happen, Suguru was far more important. You gently eased his head down, allowing him to rest it on your shoulder. He hummed softly, a tired sound of approval or an incoherent thanks before he rubbed his face against you. You rested your head against him, staring forward at the cars in front of you.

But your attention is quickly drawn back to the seat between you as Suguru hooks his pinky around yours as he falls asleep. You could have easily pulled away, freeing yourself from his loose grip, but you twisted his finger around his. That simple gesture resulted in Suguru humming happily.

While he relaxed, you felt tense. Here you were, being a pillow for your best friend after he offered to teach you things. Now, you acted casually with each other as if everything was normal. Was he waiting for you to mention it, or was it that he was just so overcome by exhaustion that he was waiting until later when there were no remains of alcohol in your system?

You should’ve been thinking about what you wanted to do yourself, whether that was allowing him to teach you things or to remain friends. But the warmth of his pinky wrapped around yours and the slow, shallow breasts that escaped him had your eyes feeling oh so heavy. You blinked hard, trying to stay awake, but you were a goner once you rested your head fully against his.

Your dreams whisked you off to the world you had built in your mind. A mystical kingdom full of magic and wonder. You found yourself wandering the village square, looking at vendors, before you were suddenly yanked into an alley, much like the one Suguru had pulled you down.

“Oaklynn.” The man with a hooded cloak, most likely Ilsan, your main male protagonist, whispered.

“What’s wrong, Ilsan? Is there danger? One of the Reverians?” You glanced towards the bustling street you had just left, watching people walk by.

Suddenly, his hand's cage around your head, drawing your attention to the knight. “No, there’s no danger.” His voice is smooth and rich, making you shiver as he pulls in closer.

“Then what is it?”

The knight leans forward, pressing a hot kiss against your neck. The sudden sensation leaves you gasping, your back arching off the stone wall. “You just looked so delectable.” His breaths out, knocking your legs apart with his foot. “I just had to taste you, please, princess.” You surprisingly oblige, spreading your legs wide, allowing him to bunch up your gown in his hands, pooling the fabric around your hips.

“I-Ilsan,” his hips attached to your neck, “oh my gods~!” His lips suck, his teeth nip at your sensitive skin, leaving you feeling weak and hot. “Ilsan.”

“Oak,” his knee suddenly slides between your spread legs, pressing firmly against your clothed cunt. “Huh~ look at that.” He rubs his knee back and forth over your sex. Making you cry out, only to have him clamp his hand firmly over your mouth. “Soaking wet~ how shameless my princess.”

You whimper against his palm, which is so warm and smells like earthy musk. Your hips roll, dragging your clit perfectly over his thigh. It feels so good; your pussy is hot, so hot it feels like it’s on fire. You arch, rolling faster and faster.

“You're so wet I can feel you through my pants.” The cloaked man licks at your pulse, nipping it gently. “I can help you~ teach you how to feel this good~.”

His voice you know his voice. The character in front of you pulls away, allowing you to push the hood of his cloak back. The man with his knee between your thighs was not the auburn-haired Ilsan with emerald eyes. No, it’s long black hair in a bun, the rest cascading down your best friend's back. His dark eyes darken as you roll your hips against him.

“Princess,” he grunts, “you feel so good. Let me touch you. I wanna make you cum~.”

“S-Sugu~ oooh fuck!” You cry out, tilting your head back. “I-I’m gonna~ gonna~!”

“Yes~ cum for me, baby~ cum all over my thigh~”

“I-I’m cu—!!”

Your eyes open, and you gasp. Your hips stop rocking against the pillow you’re hugging. Your shorts are wet, so fuckin wet, leaving you confused as you slowly sit up in bed that’s not yours. Confusion doesn’t even have a chance to settle in as the bedroom door flies open.

Suguru stood there, chest heaving as he looked around, searching the room. “What happened?! What’s wrong?!” He turns the light on; his hair is damp, still wet from a shower.

“S-Suguru, wait, why—” Glancing around the room, hung up with different paintings and photos, you came to the harsh realization that you were not in your apartment. You were in Suguru’s. So that meant the pillow you were rocking against was his.

“I heard you groaning and moaning.” He relaxed once he realized you weren’t in any danger. “I thought something was wrong.”

“I-I’m fine!”

“Are you sure? You’re flushed.”

“Yep, just fine!!” He tilted his head, dark strands of hair falling over his shoulder. “Yep! Well! Uhm, why am I here?!”

Suguru rubbed his neck, darting his gaze towards the wall. “Well, we both fell asleep in the back seat. Satoru woke me up with his stupid flash from his cell phone when he dropped us off. I was so out of it and carrying you that I forgot to grab your purse and keys.” You already saw where this was going. “So I figured I’d let you sleep in my bed while I took the couch. Are you sure you’re okay, princess?” Suguru watched you stiffen, pulling the sheets up to cover your hips.

“Mhmm, yep, never better.”

“Is that why you’re stiff as a board?”

Damn, his perspective gaze. “Yep, uhm, I just—”You were wet, and you were almost certain there was a wet spot on the pillow between your legs. If he were to see that, you might die of embarrassment. “Had a dream,” Suguru observed the way you sat. Your face was flushed, your pulse raced in your throat, and you were panting slightly.

“Uh-huh,” he grinned, “a wet dream? Want me to grab a pen and notebook so you can take some notes?”

“What?! No! I didn’t have a wet dream!” Suguru barked out a laugh as you failed to convince him otherwise. “A-And I wouldn’t need a pen and paper! I don’t hardly remember it!”

“So it was a wet dream.”

You grumbled, covering your face with your hands; there was no point in lying now. “I hate you sometimes.” Suguru laughed softly, shaking his head as he sat on the bed before you.

“Nah, you love me.” You both chuckle as he plays with the sheet on your lap.

The gentle caress of his fingers has you thinking back to the alley and how gentle he was, how he had asked what you wanted. In the heat of the moment, you weren’t so sure how to reiterate what it was you. From the suddenness of his actions to the alcohol that was making you dizzy. Now that you were sitting in his bed with him across from you, what you wanted was clear.

It made sense, from your reaction in the bathroom to how badly your body reacted to being near him. Even your dreams all pointed in the direction that your subconscious wanted to go. Two years in Europe was a long time. And while you desperately wanted to see the sights and improve your writing, being away from all your friends and family for that long would be unbearable if there was a chance that your best friend helping you with your romance scenes would allow you to stay in Japan.

What was the harm in trying?

You placed your hand on him, Preventing him from moving his fingers over the sheets further. “You okay?” He asked, taking in the flashed look on your face. “I was just teasing. Everybody has wet dreams sometimes. If you made a mess, I don’t mind. I can easily change my sheets.” Suguru expected you to playfully smack him on the cheek or punch him in the arm. Instead of doing either of those things, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“I was thinking about your offer. You know how to teach me stuff.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, and seeing that I’m not buzzed anymore, I finally decided what I wanted.”

“And what is it that you want?” He inched in closer, crowding you against the headboard of his bed.

You spread your legs wide, allowing him to sit between them. “I want to improve my writing. I don’t want to be gone for a whole two years.” Suguru just nodded as you spoke. “And I don’t want to go out and fool around with anybody. I would rather learn these kinds of things from somebody that I know and trust.” You grip the fabric of his t-shirt.

“So, you’re going to take me up on my offer? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“So, I have your permission to kiss you? I think that’s the best way to start this off. Seeing that you’ve never been kissed before.” All you did was nod your head, and his hands cupped your face instantly. “If you want to stop, just tell me.”

A final nod was all of the consent he needed. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against yours. They're warm and soft, and you press your face against him. Pulling back just an inch once he smiles against you

“What?” You ask, your grip tightening on his shirt.

“Nothing, I just—I’m happy to finally,” he sighs, “to finally help you with your book, is all.” Suguru exhales against your mouth, mint toothpaste still fresh on his breath. “Now that the first peck is out of the way, let me give you a real kiss.”

“A rea—mph!”

His lips are against yours in a heated kiss. Once, that was full of passion and fire. The smell of mint intensifies as his tongue flakes out against your bottom lip. He was asking politely for entrance. You release the gentle grip on his shirt to wrap your arm around his neck as you allow him entrance into your mouth. His tongue gently moves against yours and his symphony of minty flavor. He’s pressing himself harder against you, caging you in against the headboard.

Your tongue moves hesitantly against his, and your movements are gentle and unsure. The sheer innocence has Suguru groaning into your mouth. Hearing sounds like that escape him has your pussy throbbing in delight. You moan back, and Suguru deepens the kiss now that he knows you’re into it. He places a hand on your hip while the other gently cups the back of your head, pressing your mouth tighter against his.

Kissing was a lot of fun. The way your mom’s mailed it together, eagerly exploring each other with your tongues, how do you tingle in all the right places? There was no way kissing like this. This couldn't get any better. But it does when he presses his knee between your legs gently against your clothes core. The sudden sensation of his knee firmly pressing against you was way better than your dream.

You shiver in both excitement and hesitation. That shivering has Suguru breaking the heated kiss. “You good? Need to stop?”

“N-No, I just.”

“You just what?”

“It reminds me about the dream I had.”

“The not a wet dream, dream?”

If he weren’t so goddamn hot right now, you would’ve walked out. “Yes, that dream.” Suguru hums, trailing his lips down your neck.

“Do you want to try what you were doing in your dream?” Your best friend is fully anticipating for you to say no. That all you wanted to do was continue to kiss.

“Yes.” That is the last thing he expected you to say.

Tag List (TO BE ADDED AGE MUST BE IN BIO)

@lemonintrovert01 @spankmydepression @renttheannihilator @witchbybirth @missmuffinr @lialia3945

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks s

[dekus-fellow-crybaby]

Nightmare Fuel

Summary: After venturing into the woods and stumbling across a statue, Gravity Falls’ newest resident meets her worse nightmare...or maybe her scariest wet dream.

Requested by @fivvy

Warnings: NSFW. 18+ only. Minors DNI. DARK FIC! This fic contains darker themes such as manipulation, possession, violence, dub/con, and non/con! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Aged-up Characters, Bill x reader, Bipper x reader, slight Dipper x reader? (There's some tension), porn with plot, slight MabelxPacifica, asshole!Dipper, mind sex, mind break?, sex pollen-like symptoms?, supernatural elements, horror-like elements, fingering, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, revenge sex, choking, asphyxiation, accidental voyeurism. Lmk if I forgot anything! LAST WARNING! DARK ELEMENTS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND NO MINORS!! AGES IN BIOS!! Seriously guys, it’s kinda messed up and I will block minors!

Word Count: 7.9 k

Gravity Falls. The town just west of weird. And your new home. When you were younger your family used to drive through the small, eccentric town on the way to visit family in Portland. Your parents just loved the scenic route, and the great nature of Gravity Falls was about as scenic as it got. You never stayed in the town long, but the curious corner of the world always drew you in. The people you would meet during your occasional diner stops or the stories you would hear piqued your interest. It drove you towards a love of writing and reading, just searching for vibrant characters that might match the town's local color. Which is why you decide to take a year off college and live amongst the people that initially stirred your curiosity.

Stepping off the bus, the sunlight speckles through the trees, the warmth dusting your cheeks, and you are welcomed back to the town of Gravity Falls. The scent of pine trees and maple surround you as you walk towards the town square, a suitcase rolling behind you. Checking the address on the post-it note in your hands, you make your way to the house on the edge of the woods: the Mystery Shack. It was probably more of a gamble than you should have taken to respond to the rooming ad for a place called the Mystery Shack, but it was the only available housing in the small town, so you'd just have to take your chances.

Skipping the town tour, you make your way to the tourist trap, but you take note of the town as you go. Everything seems perfectly normal. but you hoped that wouldn't remain the case. You needed something interesting to write about, something to spark a flame of inspiration in your head. So far, nothing but your new place of residence seems out of the ordinary. You make it to the Mystery Shack, surprised by the number of cars parked out front. A number of people come in and out of the house, most being led around by a dude in a suit, eyepatch, and fez. Walking closer to what you can only assume to be a tour group, you listen in on the man rifting off facts about the obviously fake attractions.

"And here we have the rock that looks like a face, dudes," the tour guide said.

"But is it a rock or is it a face?"

"No, dude, it's a rock that looks like a face," the tour guide sighs as if he got this question often. "It's-it's not an actual face." This only sparks more controversy for the guide, so you peacefully excuse yourself from the group, bypass the entrance for the indoor Mystery Museum, and trudge around to the backdoor. You're pleased to find no tourists there. From the window, you notice a few people filing around the room and you hope they were the actual residents of the house/tourist attraction. Knocking on the door, you are almost immediately met by a bubbly brunette answering with a brooding blond watching intently behind her.

"Uh, hi, I'm—"

"Are you our new roomie?!" She beams, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she ushers you in before you even give your answer. Once you’re in the room, you take in each of the girls' features. The brunette smiles at you excitedly, a pair of perfectly straight teeth flashing between glossy pink lips. Her curly hair tumbles down her back, the front of her bangs are held back by a dark pink headband which matches a pair of leggings she wore beneath a white tee with a multicolored shooting star on the front. The blond behind her has straight hair, straight-cut bangs brushing over her long, mascara-covered lashes, a light purple dusting of eyeshadow matching a purple jersey shirt with a white diamond on the front over a pair of black leggings along with a pair of big, white hooped earrings.

"Yeah, yes, hi," you breathed out, apprehension and shock in your tone as you’re pulled in. "Are you Mabel?"

"Actually...I'm your new roommate!" She squeals before deadpanning with a, “But yeah, my name is Mabel.” You can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.

"Well, it's really nice to meet you, Mabel," you say genuinely, a sigh of relief passing your lips along with a giggle.

"This is Pacifica, my gf and our other roommate," Mabel introduces. The blond nods her head, not saying a word as Mabel does all the talking. "And my brother also lives here but he's kinda...busy right now. He's sorry he couldn't be here for the greeting party though!" You brush that off. "How about we give you the tour and then we can get to know each other."

She grabs one of your two bags as she leads you to your room: a dark space with a slanted ceiling, a stained-glass window in the far-left corner which offers a muted colored light, a furnace in the far right, a bed at the center of the left wall, and a closet to the left of the bed. It’s perfect for a shut-in writer such as yourself. Mabel tells you that the room used to belong to her Grunkle Stan who was travelling the seas with his brother, her Great Uncle Ford.

Dropping the bags onto the bed, the three of you made the rounds of the house. Mabel and Pacifica share the attic, Mabel saying she has sentimental attachment to the space. While walking through their home, Pacifica tells you how she had grown up as a rich only child. Her parents had fallen on a bit of "hard times" after her dad made a bad investment in some bonds and they had to sell their mansion to the town kook, Old Man McGucket, and, yes, that is how he prefers to be called. After living with her parents until she was legally able to leave, her now living with Mabel and her brother in the Mystery Shack was not only convenient but is also like a middle finger to her oppressive parents. You learn all of this before you even make it to the living room. You really like how talkative Mabel is. Her extrovert personality counteracts your quiet tendencies.

Coming to Mabel's twin brother's room—who you found out is named Mason but is nicknamed Dipper—it’s a mess. Dirty laundry, papers, and books all scattered over every surface. You barely notice the shape of the bed or couch underneath the piles of clothing and maps. The only thing that seems to be somewhat in order was the bookshelf. It’s stacked to the brim with books except for the top shelf, where only three books rest, all with their covers facing out. Each one is a deep blue, a drawing of a silver Pinetree overlayed with a golden Big Dipper constellation and underneath is printed golden numbers 1, 2, 3. They look like journals, though you had no idea what information could be handwritten there. You gather that he’s either a brainiac or a maniac, and neither tend to have very clean tendencies. But you aren’t one to judge, knowing you could get the same way in the midst of an inspired breakthrough. Your muse could work in mysterious and very annoying ways: ergo the entire reason for moving to Gravity Falls.

"Yeah, my brother tends to be a bit...hazardous when he gets in the work zone," Mabel explains sheepishly. "If it's not his room, it’s the basement that's a mess. Or both. Mostly both."

You’ve stayed relatively quiet the entirety of the tour but your curiosity itches at you brain, prompting an inquisitive, "What does your brother do?"

"Science research...of sorts," she answers through thin lips.

"Of sort?" Your brows scrunch together at the vague implication.

"Yeah, I'm not entirely sure the specifics of his work, just that he has a few Ph.D.'s," she shrugs, a nervous laugh bubbling in her throat, as if it wasn't a great feat to have multiple Ph.D.'s before the ripe age of twenty-four.

"Wow, that's...really impressive," you breath, not knowing exactly how to respond to her nonchalance over the subject.

"Yeah, proud of my bro-bro, just wish he would wash his clothes," she chuckles, faking(?) a grimace and pulling a laugh out of you and Pacifica.

The rest of the tour went on like this, sharing stories and taking cracks at one another, giving you an idea of the nature of the relationship between your new housemates. Mabel went on and on about how much the house means to them, and how much their great uncles mean to them as well. It’s really sweet, and you believe that you’ve found yourself some interesting characters to write about.

Mabel is really nice and, while Pacifica had a very hard exterior, you can see her softer side in the moments when she lets herself slip out of that tough exterior to laugh for Mabel. They both help you unpack quickly, even brightening up the space with a lamp Mabel had decorated herself—crystals hot glued to the base, refracting a cascade of rainbows around the room. You feel so welcomed already.

An ear-shattering bang shakes the house, dust drizzling from the ceiling and effectively startling you awake.

"Fuck!" A voice screams. You follow it with a heart-pounding urgency, leading you to the gift shop where smoke billows into the room. The vending machine swings open, and you startle, a small squeak leaping out of your throat. A figure emerge from the smoke, coughing and waving his arms with a cap in one hand to clear out the black cloud surrounding him. When the smog clears enough for you to get a good look at the man, the first thing you saw was the mop of curly brown hair, much like Mabel's, that is powdered with soot and debris. His pale skin is marred by the caking of dirt over his exposed arms and cheeks, yet the dark circles underneath his eyes were still prominent despite only being illuminated by the moonlight seeping in through glass windows. The dark grayish-green tee with a black question mark on the front was also frosted in a layer of powder. The red flannel tied around his waist seems relatively unscathed until he uses the material to wipe what is still on his face. His arms lifted to rub off the grime, showcasing the ink markings on his forearms. You can’t help but stare at him and the opened vending machine entrance, mouth hanging open at the scene. You wonder if you’re dreaming.

"Trying to catch flies, sunshine?" His deep voice rattles. You know he’s speaking to you despite him refusing to look your way.

"Excuse me?"

"No?" He smugly questions, the sarcasm dripping from his voice that is riddled with sleep deprivation and husky from his dust-coated throat. He finally looks over at you, allowing you to meet his chocolate brown eyes. "Then you should close your mouth." You wrinkle your nose at the snark of his tone. Before you can reply, the girls come down from the attic.

"Nice going, Dipstick, what did you blow up this time?" The blonde grumbles. You make a mental note to never wake the girl from her beauty sleep lest you receive the same venomous tone.

"None of your business, Pacifica," he sighs.

"I don't know why you're in such a piss mood when you were the one to wake everyone up at three in the morning, moron," she grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes so far back into her head that you’re sure she caught a glimpse of her brain.

"I know that you, more than anyone, need your precious beauty sleep, Pacifica, but my lab is not any of your concern," Dipper snaps back.

"Shut up, Dipshit."

"Buy my silence then, rich bitch."

The tangible tension in the room surrounds the house residents as Pacifica's eye twitch and her nostrils flare. Pacifica, not wanting to put up with his attitude any longer at three in the morning, mumbles a quiet, "Whatever," and turns on her heel, heading back upstairs. You can’t help but admire the great restraint on her part.

"Mason, go to sleep," Mabel utters firmly, tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance as she speaks. "You're a dick when you haven't slept in a few days." He knows better than to talk back to Mabel when she calls him out like that, especially so when there is a significant lack of a nickname.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he groans, his hand dragging down his face, smearing black back onto the skin he'd just half-heartedly cleaned off.

"And you will apologize tomorrow." It’s not a question from Mabel, the no-nonsense tone leaving little room for debate.

"Yeah, I will," he mutters, followed by a nearly silent, "When Waddles learns to fly."

"Well, he already did," she argues, leaving you absolutely confused. "I'll see if I can't get her to apologize for the ‘dipshit’ comment but yours was worse so you have to make the first move."

"I know the drill, Mabel." She nods at his compliance, turning to you.

"I'm sorry that this is your first impression of my brother," she says sheepishly, though her tone scolds him still.

"This is the Ph.D. guy?" You choke out the inquiry softly towards Mabel, shock clear in your tone. She shrugs, nods, then goes off to find Pacifica.

"You must be the new roommate," he smiles then, though it’s more condescending than friendly. Despite that, he still holds out his hand for you to shake. "Nice to meet you. Stay out of my lab."

"Noted," you scoffs, taking his hand as if in a daze.

"Nice pjs," he smirks, instantly turning your cheeks red as you remember what you wore to bed. Nothing more than a thin T-shirt that barely covers your backside. You snatch your hand back from his hold. "Oh, and welcome to Gravity Falls."

Looking around, you take in the black-and-white space surrounding you. The trees still, despite the breeze grazing your skin; the birds hover in the air, wings wide spread; the wildlife turn their heads towards you yet don't move an inch otherwise. It’s like walking into a vintage photograph. Your mind wanders as your feet carry you deeper into the forest, following the gentle stream. The only color illuminating the monochrome forest is yourself and the image of a floating yellow-

"Mabel! I've said it once, I've said it a million times! I don't want any Mabel juice!" The sound of Pacifica's shrieking voice stirs you out of sleep, pulling you from the odd dream.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you walk into the den full of commotion. "What the hell is Mabel juice?" You ask sleepily, mid-yawn. You’re met with coos about how adorable the action was from Mabel, to which you blush and sheepishly wave off, already getting the sense that Mabel found cuteness in almost anything.

"Mabel juice!" Mabel announces proudly and far too loudly for so early in the morning. "A beverage of my own invention!" She shows off, presenting the drink in question that looked like a hot pink choking hazard. "Want some?"

"Hmm," you hum in thought at her hopeful intent. "Thank you, Mabel, but I think I'll stick with coffee. I do appreciate the offer though." She just shrugs, still beaming, and pours herself a glass. The sweet smell of pancakes wafts around the room as you sit at the kitchen table. "Something smells good."

"It's my ultra-chocolate-chip pancakes with sprinkles!" Mabel announces, sliding a plate over to Pacifica with a nicely decorated array of rainbow colors over a cloud of whipped cream in the shape of the Smiledip puppy.

"Wow, is this what breakfast is always like here?" You wonder aloud, Pacifica shrugs, hesitates in thought, and then nods.

"How many pancakes, Sunshine?" Mabel hums, the nickname falling easily from her lips. She obviously makes attachments very quickly.

"One, please," you say politely. Mabel is quick to oblige, whipping up similar masterpieces that look like a kitten judge, complete with chocolate syrup whiskers, a powdered sugar powdered wig, and a bacon gavel. "Mabel, this is really incredible." You can’t even remember the last time you had a hot breakfast. Or any breakfast for that matter. You didn't exactly practice a habit of self-care while taking your college courses...or any basic needs really like a regular eating schedule or exercise.

"Why thank you, Cutie-Patootie." You would respond if your mouth wasn't currently stuffed with the bacon gavel. "Sleep well?"

"For the most part." You nod slowly before your mind drifts back to the three a.m. incident. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Shoot."

"Is your brother always like that?" Pacifica snorts derivatively beside you, as if laughing at her own inside joke echoing in her head.

"Well, if you mean pushing the reasonable boundaries of his own health to finish his current hyper fixation…then yes," Mabel sighs, offering a sad smile. "But the bitchiness, no. He’s usually sweet, just sassy. But he tends to slip into bitchy mode when he hasn't gotten enough sleep…which now that I think about it is whenever he’s on the edge of a breakthrough…So to answer your question: yes."

"Hmm, that seems so stupid, though," you hum around a mouthful of the sugar drowned pancake bite.

"Pardon?" The voice comes from behind you, startling you with a bite of pastry cat judge halfway in your mouth. You would have choked if you'd taken a bigger bite. Turning your head, syrup almost dripping off your pouting bottom lip, you see Dipper. He obviously showered which was quite the improvement from last night. Now that his face is clean you can take notice of his features. You remember the big brown eyes but now, without the smudges of grease and grime on his forehead, you notice the pair of bushy eyebrows and fluffy curls that rest above those chocolate orbs. It looks like he hasn't shaved in a while, a shadow of scruff shading his chin. Instead of the question mark tee from last night, he’s wearing a dark blue sweater with the words "Disco Girl" in bubbled sky-blue font that reminds you of a 70s aesthetic mood board which he accompanies with a pair of grey sweats. You think it an odd outfit choice for the moody man in front of you, the juxtaposition boggling your mind. He cocks his head and raises a bushy brow in question when you take your time to answer.

"I mean, it just doesn't seem very productive," you shrug when you finally shallow the breakfast bite that was stuffing your mouth, the hypocrisy dripping off your words as much as the syrup. "When you don't get enough sleep your neuroreceptors lose their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine which leads to impaired cognitive function. I thought you were supposed to be a genius or something." You mumble the last part while sipping on your cup of coffee. Pacifica snorts out of laugh, Mabel has to slap her hand over her mouth to cover the traitorous smile, and Dipper stares at you with his nose wrinkled and his brows drawn together, taking in your words and frowning at the implication.

"I'm going back to bed," he announces, immediately turning on his heel. “Save me a pancake gnome, Mabel!”

"Are you a science buff too, Sunshine?" Mabel asks once Dipper has turned the corner. Peering past the wall, you check to make sure he was really gone.

"Nope," you popped the 'p'. "I got that off a tv show. I just wanted to stump him." All three of you erupt in laughter.

"Okay, I’ve decided to like you," Pacifica giggles, leaning back in her chair and giving you an approving once over. "On a trail basis, of course. We’ll see how it goes."

"Honored," you chuckle.

"So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?" Mabel asks. She turns the stove off, carrying over a plate with a llama pancake for Pacifica and her own her has a pancake shaped like a dolphin…with muscular arms instead of fins?

"Well, I wanted to check out the town a bit," you answer with a mouthful of the syrupy breakfast. "Maybe walk around the forest a bit…Any good landmarks to check out?”

"Want a tour guide?"

"Yeah, that’d be great, Mabel," you answer gratefully.

The three of you make a day of exploring the town. Mabel and Pacifica show off every aspect and share all the quirky attributes of the small town. Considering the size of the town, the tour doesn't take long. The last stop is Greasy's Diner where Pacifica works. The three of you eat lunch before Pacifica clocks into work. Mabel offers to walk with you back to the Mystery Shack before she goes back out to the craft shop for more knitting supplies. You politely decline, saying that you can find your way back on your own. You part ways and you take your own time strolling back to the house, taking the long way through the mysterious woods you've been itching to explore.

After living with the trio for a few weeks, you caught on to a few things. Mabel is a being of pure chaos, but she makes it work. She channels most of her energy into her creativity, her job consisting of running an Etsy shop selling knitted sweaters. Pacifica is actually a very chill person. She was rather reserved, and you'd catch her people watching often, especially when Mabel's friends Candy and Grenda would come over. She would often observe them with a small smile playing on her glossy lips. She seemed like the perfect balance for Mabel's wildness. And Dipper hates your guts. You're not sure why, but you frequently found him glaring at you. You're not sure what you did, but the guy always has an evil eye for you. Especially when you get back from your daily walks through the woods.

That's another thing about your time in Gravity Falls that seems odd to you. You're not sure why, but you're drawn to the wilderness. It's as if something in the forest was calling out to you.

Your mind wanders as your feet carry you deeper into the forest. Your surroundings blur and blend into the verdant brush or golden glow of the setting sun. You don't even realize how long you've been traveling until your limbs begin to ache and nothing around you is familiar anymore. You hear and see nothing resembling that of a human touch, only the steady thrum of the natural world you've stepped into. The final rays of the evening sun light your path as you venture further, a meager attempt to find your way back to civilization. However, you curiously find yourself stumbling upon a mossy mass of stone, and time seems to slow down the moment you do. The trees still, despite the breeze grazing your skin; the birds hover in the air, wings widespread; the wildlife turn their heads towards you yet don't move an inch otherwise. Coming closer, you see a scrawny statue arm reach out to you welcomingly. Your eyes travel over the attached body, the monument shaped like a personified pyramid. You tiptoe around the monolith, studying the odd artwork. A breeze sweeps over you, a shiver working its way down your spine. There's a sudden subtle tickle at the back of your brain and a slight paranoia settles across your skin. Your eyes find the granite gaze of the one-eyed creature, and goose bumps bloom over your flesh. You don't understand it, but you feel a simultaneous urge to flee as well as an overwhelming draw towards the inanimate figure. The contradiction creates a harsh turmoil within you, and you feel frozen, granting your surroundings the perfect opportunity to whisper advice into the wind. You can almost hear an audible "Run!" from the wood, but you can't bring yourself to follow the orders. Instead, your hand hesitantly reaches out to the outstretched hand, your fingers gingerly grasping the stone and wrapping your digits around the stony hand. However, just as your palm settles against the carved rock, fingers grip your wrist and yank you away, pulling you back into a hard chest. And suddenly, time is back on track. You're ripped from your daze as you're spun around to meet a pair of frantic chestnut eyes.

"What did you do?" he screams, shaking you by the shoulders. His face goes pale, deathly so, and the new ghostly shade causes the dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks to drain along with his rosy completion. You unconsciously frown at that realization.

"What?" you mutter in a trance, your mind rousing slowly from the mental fog.

"What did you do?" he repeats in a panic, the desperation in his voice snapping you out of your stupor.

"Nothing!" you squeak out in defense.

"You don't touch this!" he wails in your face. "Don't ever touch this!"

"I won't!" you cry out, hands pushing at his shoulders and clawing at his fingers gripping painfully at your arms. His eyes are searching, scanning your face and person manically. Looking for what, you don't know. But he stares into your eyes as if expecting something new. Well, new to you, at least. You get the feeling that whatever he thinks he'll find swimming in your irises is something that he is plenty familiar with. When he seems satisfied enough, he pushes you away softly. Instead, he turns to gaze at the granite figure once more. A shaky hand cards through his curly bangs, showing off the constellation of freckles that were previously hidden. The movement nearly nudges his hat off his head, letting it rest haphazardly on his head. After a moment, it seems as though he settles the argument that has been playing out in his head. He grabs your bicep and starts dragging you back to the house, ignoring your protests.

When you make it back to the Mystery Shack, Dipper drags you through the attraction side of the house, stopping in front of a vending machine. He punches in a code before pushing you through the entrance that reveals itself. You're welcomed into a dark, dusty hallway lit only by a gas lantern. You then ride down in a creaking elevator, watching the numbers change through broken display glass. Once the metal elevator gate opens up again, another room is unveiled, and you soon realize that it's the basement laboratory, the one that he specifically, in no uncertain terms, told you to stay out of. You believe it was the first sentence he said to you, actually.

This room is by far more well-kept than his bedroom, but it also seems more lived in. There are contraptions, books, papers, and writing utensils scattered over every surface, but it at least seems like there is controlled chaos.

He maneuvers you to sit on an uncomfortable wooden stool in front of a wall of monitors and computer keyboards. You don't know why you've let him direct you so easily thus far, but you might be more afraid of what would happen if you resisted. He seemed so shaken, unstable even after you touched the statue.

You nearly jump out of your skin as you feel cold metal atop your scalp. You whip around to see Dipper attempting to fit a rusty colander with tubes sticking out of it over your head. You jump up finally, drawing a line in the sand.

"What the hell is going on?" You screech, a heaviness weighing on you as the fog is finally gone and you begin to understand the possible gravity of the situation.

"Relax," he sighs. "It's a cranium scanner. It's harmless. It's just meant to scan your thoughts."

You scoff. "Why do you need to do that? Why should I believe that's what you say it is? Why were you so freaked out about that statue? Why were you even there? Were you following me? You need to work on your communication because you just drag me down here and try to hook up some terrifying machine to me without my permission and without explaining and this is freaking me the fuck out!"

His jaw ticks with every word that quickly leaves your lips. Silently, he lifts the device to his head and fits it on his scalp. The moment he does the monitor comes to life. Green words dance across the screen and mumbles buzz from the speakers. You see and hear phrases like "Fuck, this girl is annoying...I need to run these tests...We have to hurry...gotta make sure he's not back...keep everyone safe, have to keep everyone safe...Man, I'm starving...When was the last time I did laundry?...Nah, that's a waste of time...Disco girllll, coming throughhhh, that girl is youuu...Shit, now that I look at her she's kinda cut—" He rips the machine off his head and clears his throat before shrugging his shoulders and waving his hands as if to say "I told you so" in a single motion. "See? Harmless. Now put this on."

You shake your head. "I still need an explanation."

He sighs out in frustration, taking the stool for himself as he runs a trembling hand over his exhausted features. "Look, this town...it's not normal, okay? There are things here...things that can't be explained...including that statue." You stare at him tentatively, noticing the way his fingers fidget together and his brow shines with sweat. "Just...do this and we will never speak of this again." You watch him for a moment, trying to gauge whether the knot in your stomach is intuition or just nerves over his odd behavior. You don't think you can trust him...but you feel like he needs this...whatever it is. And you hope that it'll calm his erratic behavior. Plus, you're a little amazed by the mindreading device, and you kind of want to know if it's accurate or not. You cautiously step forward, nodding minutely. He rises from the seat and allows you to take it. You do, wiggling around a bit to get comfortable on the incredibly irritating wood panels.

"Can I at least get a better chair?" you grumble.

He actually chuckles, a breath of relief leaving his lips as he nods. He drags an old, velvet-upholstered chair that sits next to a chess table. He smacks the cushion and allows a layer of dust previously caked on the fabric to fly into the air. You can live with it more than the splintering stool. You settle into the seat and allow Dipper to place the appliance on your head.

First comes the shock as all your thoughts are displayed on the monitor at a mile a minute, including the thoughts of your shock. Next comes the processing as you watch Dipper take a seat and start scribbling notes as he observes the monitors. You watch as every one of your thoughts is displayed and you begin to feel exposed as every one of your anxieties are advertised. Taking a deep breath, you let your eyes flutter close, trying your best to relax.

The next moment you open your eyes again something feels off. You scrunch your brow as you look around the room, trying to figure out what's different. Looking over to Dipper, you notice that he's stopped writing. Instead, he sits staring up at the screen. You miss how the screen no longer projects your every thought and only produces static. Your skin bubbles with pins and needles, a sudden chill filling your bones as Dipper remains unmoving with his chin resting on his intertwined fingers. You can't see his face and that alone unnerves you as the silence persists.

You hesitate to speak. "Dipper?"

His hands separate, palms placed flat on the keyboard top. Other than his arms moving, nothing else does. The anxiety is slowly pressing into your chest as you patiently wait for his next action or word. You're beginning to think you should run.

"Y'know," he starts. His voice sounds different, higher pitched, and echoing slightly. "The human mind is such a delicate thing...so fragile and easy to manipulate." He stands then but still doesn't face you. When he turns towards you slowly, his features backlit by the sinister green glow of the monitor, his movements are casual, and he leans back against the desktop with his arms crossed. You can see his eyes. They're different from the chocolate chip orbs that you saw before. Now his pupils consume the entirety of his irises, and it seems as if they're slanted like cat eyes. They almost glow yellow. They nearly remind you of...

He laughs suddenly, wobbily stalking towards you as he shakes his head mockingly. His voice morphs as he continues to make the maniacal sound. It becomes high and pitchy, echoing a shrill, unsettling quality in the sinister cackle that makes your stomach drop. "I mean, look at you! Look at how easy it was to lead you to this moment. You didn't even fight it!" Your hair stands on end at his words and your limbs tremble as you're reminded that you were worried that this would happen. Is it possible to tell yourself 'told you so'? "You just followed me through the woods. I didn't even have to trick you into taking my hand, you curious little thing!" You flinch as Dipper cages you between him and the seat, his face inches from yours as his eyes study you.

"What are you talking about?" You squeak out, your voice finally working once again. Now that he's so close, you know exactly where you've seen such odd eyes before. The statue in the woods.

"Ahh, there it is," he giggles. A hand comes up and grips your chin between his thumb and index. He shakes your head from side to side while pouting at you derisively. "Figure it out?"

"What—how?"

"Hmm, maybe not," he chuckles. He taps a finger into your temple slowly, but the gentle touch feels far more frightening to you, as if it's the calm right before the raging storm. "And here I thought you were a smart girl." His voice has morphed once again, two voices bleeding into one. You hear Dipper's voice being overtaken by that discordant tone that he laughed at you with. His eyes drag down your body then, a darkness seeming to seep into those unsettling ellipse pupils. "It's always odd to look through two eyes. Everything seems so much more...third dimensional. Much more graphic. For instance," his hand cups your throat, the touch so gentle and soft, but there was an obvious threat there, "if I squeeze, I'd be able to see your skin turn red and maybe even blue if I cut off your air for long enough." He absently chuckles, as if lost in the image of what he's imagining. He leans in closer, running his nose along your jaw. "I'd be able to see your veins popping out. Maybe I'd feel your windpipe crushing too." His eyes drift up to yours, as if only now remembering that you're there. He offers a smile that could possibly resemble something sweet, but it only turned your stomach. "Don't worry, Sunshine," he whispers, gently pecking your cheek, "that's not what I want."

"What do you want then?" you ask, your voice surprisingly harsh despite how your insides knot up and your throat feels as if it's closing up.

He chuckles, shaking his head as he pulls his gaze away from your temptingly delicate throat.

"Just saying hi to an old friend," he answers, releasing his hold on your neck and placing his hands on either side of your head. As he leans into you it's as if you're witnessing a real-life glitch as the man in front of you shifts from Dipper to a lanky, tan blonde. Wild locks peek out from a tiny top hat atop his head and sweep over his bangs that cover one of his eyes. He'd look like a normal person if he weren't wearing such a predatory grin that reminds you more of a monster instead of a man, the ethereal yellow glow that radiates off his skin, or the cracks at the edges of his face with a galaxy peeking through the unnatural jagged breaks of flesh. But just as quickly as the image of the new man appeared, it was replaced by Dipper once again. He wiggles his fingers in a small wave. "Isn't that right, Pine Tree?" He stares into your eyes but it's as if he's looking through you, instead. He's not talking to you.

Suddenly, his fingers clamp over the nape of your neck, the painful pressure causing your muscles to tense and you're at his mercy. He uses this to throw you towards the dusty couch along the wall. Now that you're out of his immediate vicinity you try to get up and run but he moves like lightning and he's over you in an instant.

"Sorry, Sunshine," he says as he swings a leg over yours, locking your body in place as it's trapped between his thighs. The image of his body continuously glitches from Dipper to the person you saw before. Your arms thrash as you squirm and kick and try to get away, but he pays no mind to your struggle, capturing your wrists easily in his grasp. His fingers dig into your skin as he grips your jaw painfully. "It's nothing personal. Well, not towards you, at least." He laughs as if he said something so funny, an inside joke only for him. "Actually, I should be thanking you. You freed me, your pretty little mind is going to be my new home. And in light of that, I think you deserve a little treat, huh?" Despite your struggle, the man easily held you down with a hand wrapped around your wrists. His other hand smooths down your sides, goosebumps raising in the wake of his touch. His fingers dig into your cheeks as he presses an open-mouthed kiss against your lips, his tongue slipping in and scavenging your mouth. And the taste of his tongue rubbing against yours is…intoxicating.

It’s like the sweetest of ambrosia seeping into your tastebuds. You feel like you should be fighting more, struggling harder against the man's advances. You feel the way your veins fill with ice at the realization of what he is planning to do. But your mind feels foggy, your movements sluggish and out of your control; the same way you felt while walking in the woods. Your mind is only consumed by the taste of his lips and how it fills your every being. You need more. Your skin feels hot, burning but in the best ways possible. The feeling slowly begins to thaw the ice in your bloodstream as his touch lights your nerves. You vaguely hear the light chuckle in his voice as your lids flutter halfway and you focus on the featherlike trail his fingertips left over your skin.

You open your mouth, but no words leave your lips, and that shrill laugh rings out again.

"See?" he coos, a mixture of Dipper and the other high-pitched voice resonating through the small room. "So easy." His hand releases your wrists, but your limbs stay in place, unmoving even with their newfound freedom. His thumbs knead into your sides as they slip underneath your shirt, slowly rolling the fabric up your body. "Bet Pinetree is squirming in his seat right now. Better give him a show, huh, Sunshine?" Despite every alarm bell in the back of your mind going off, you find yourself agreeing with the strange entity, knowing nothing but the need for more, more, more. His lips curl up into a sinister smirk as he watches the confusion etch into your brows but you do nothing to stop him.

His shirt is ripped over his head in an instant, displaying Dipper’s pale skin and the curly brown hair of his happy trail before his image shift into a mirage of the other man. Golden brick-like tattoo lines and crack of glowing galaxies along his body mar the perfectly tan skin of the unfamiliar man. And the glitches stop, you notice. He is no longer Dipper. He is only the fabricated personified image of the statue in the woods.

Dark fingers the look like they were dipped in ink and absorbed up to his elbows drag over your frame, cutting away each scrap of clothing covering your body. They fall away so smoothly, as if they were merely delicates drapes just waiting for a breeze to brush them away in a gentle sigh. You want to move your hands and cover yourself but you can’t bring your limbs to listen. They belong to him now. All of you belongs to him now. And the smirk on his face tells you he knows that.

"Wish I had a real body to truly enjoy this, y'know?" He murmurs, gaze hungrily roving over you. He unhurriedly brings himself to lay on the couch chest down between your legs, the dark tendrils of his hands curling below your hips as his head nuzzles into the side of one of your plush thighs. His hair is soft, you notice. Softer than any earthly object. And you are choosing to focus all of your attention on that fact rather than the hungrily look he gives you. "But taste is more of a mental construct, isn’t it? I don’t need a real tongue to thoroughly enjoy a meal." It’s the only warning you receive before a devilish tongue is ravishing your inner walls. Despite his initial nonchalance, he moves quickly to pick you apart with only one muscle. Your eyes flutter shut at the pleasure but just as q uickly, a fist closes around your throat and your eyelids fly open once again. "Eyes on me." And you listen, keeping your eyes on the golden iris trained in you as your jaw drops open in a silent scream while he brings you to completion under his skilled tongue. You don’t make a sound until his hand claps down in your thigh, signaling the need for an audible response to your climax. You oblige, letting a high-pitched moan escape your lips. He looks satisfied enough as he comes off of you with a wolffish grin.

You keep your eyes trained on him as he leans over you once again, as if you are incapable of closing them again. You’re not entirely sure if that inability is because of your own will or because of his command. Either way, you watch as the man hovers over you, causing you to jerk when his cock surprisingly taps your sensitive entrance. You look down then, watching the angry red, mushroom head sliding between your folds. Your body seems conflicted, trying both to get away from the friction and seeking to catch the bulbous tip on your weeping opening. You realize that he’s teasing you, however. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know that he won’t do anything until you beg for it. He wants you to beg for it.

You listen to his sinister chuckle, the maddening sound bouncing inside your head…or are you both already inside your head…?

"Oh, you figured it out, Sunshine!" He chuckles in that echoing voice of his. "Now you know what I want, so do it." Your mouth opens without your permission but no words escape. "Oh, c’mon, Sunshine. I know you want it too…just give in."

"Please," the word is barely audible as it escapes your lips, but he hears it, perking up at the sound.

"Please what?"

"Please…please fuck me!" You can’t keep the whine out of your voice as you finally plead for what this has all been building up to. You don’t know this man—Creature? Ethereal being?—or what kind of spell he put on you. All you know is that you need it. Everything will be better once you feel his cock pummeling in and out of you. And that’s exactly what he does, plunging into you the second the last syllable leaves your lips.

The stretch is painful and you aren’t sure if the scream you release is because of the pain of his dick tearing through you or the pleasurable drag you feel on your inner walls. It’s like you want to scream, cry, push him out, but you can’t. You can only take it, take it, take it, just as he orders you to while he snaps his hips into you. You realize that you are crying, but again, you have no idea if the tears are from the wonderful stimulation or the searing shame of this moment. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if Dipper knows. You ask yourself what he thinks of you in this moment and if you even care when you’re being speared on a fat cock.

Again that demented laughter rings in your ears, reminding you of the demon you’ve officially sold your soul to that’s treating your body like his personal property. Maybe that’s his now too, along with your sanity. You can’t seem to say much besides moans and whines and pleas for something you’re not sure you want.

"Oh, I really wish you could see her face right now, Pinetree," he giggles, as if talking to himself. "You’d fucking love it. I know I do." He chuckles then, like he made an inside joke before his hand curls around your throat and makes sure your eyes are on him solely. And he speaks but not to you, to something he’s looking at through you. "But I really wish I could see your face right now. You getting off on this, Little Dipper? I bet you are. Freaks like you and me, we gotta enjoy these little moments when we get them." His grip tightens on your throat then and the panic sets in again. Whatever it was that lulled you into a false state of complacency is gone. You feel the oxygen struggling to fill your lungs as his hips snap faster in and out of you, his lanky fingers bullying your button as you’re starting to swim in asphyxiation.

There’s a twinkle in his eye that was never there before as he watches you struggle. You realize that his sadistic demon is getting off more on torturing you than he has this entire time. The smile that spreads across his face is one you know will haunt your very being. And you hate yourself as his digits circling your clit brings you to release just as your vision blackens at the edges. You barely register the warmth flooding your insides as you’re finally allowed to close your eyes.

You wake again with a start, your body shooting up in the chair again, the odd helmet once again gracing your crown. Your eyes land on Dipper whose back is turned to you and you wander if the nightmare is only restarting again. But when he turns around, you see the dark dusting of color on his cheeks and know that this isn’t the demon you just dealt with. But if the boner in his jeans is anything to go by, you do know that he watched the whole thing.

Dipper clears his throat, awkwardly shifting as he faces you, his hands fruitlessly hovering over his crotch and his eyes refusing to meet yours. "Umm," he squeaks. "I think we need to talk."

[fangirlingpuggle]

For the Bio billford kids, how do you think the time baby would react to Bill having kids, considering the fact that bill is essentially a criminal, but then again so his ford, considering his time in the portal.

Also, you mentioned that Bill has plans on how to take care of Gideon, does he intend to punish him for how he has treated Mabel and Dipper, like he did in canon, with the never ending cute dancing and cute clothes or something different. Also, if Stan, ford, and Bill all work together to make Gideon pay, how would they do it, because I wish to laugh at the pain of Gideon.

Oh and another thing, how would Ford react about the whole government agents situation, considering the fact that the twins might get taken away and experimented on, or how would Bill even react considering the fact he happens to know what is going on even off screen.

Time baby would probably not be happy and maybe comment on criminal parents of the twins but let them prove themselves what they're going to be like. Plus he's not going to get involved in 2 criminals domestic issues.

Think Bill would probably do something much more violent and long lasting definitely no cute dancing.

All 3 of them teaming up would probably be like the jojo meme of them all kicking someone.

Oh Ford is ready and has weapons on hand after he gets back for any sign of government agents hanging around. He's constantly on guard first few times he's out with them when they're not sure if any agents are still around.

Any agent who got to close to Mabel or Dipper would have some.... unsettling nightmares to say the least every night after that. Bill's watching he was not happy. (And all the names are going on a list he's making one of the henchmanics write out)

[icyowl]

Idk if your taking request if not discard! lol but uh >< could we get some Vash & Wolfwood A/O/B head canons? What do you think their second genders would be? and how would they be w reader?

A/B/O Headcanons (Vash, Wolfwood)

Pairings: Wolfwood x reader, Vash x reader

A/N/: always up for ABO. Always.

As my bio says, I'm not open for requests per se, but if an ask strikes my fancy, I might get inspired!

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

WOLFWOOD

An alpha through and THROUGH

very growly. It's deep and slow and rumbly and he loves using it on others or using it on you and catching you off guard. He smells the effect it has on you through your scent glands and his eyes key in on the tiny shaking it puts in your knees. You alright there, ankle biter? Lookin' a little unsteady he says with a wicked grin. Even the cigarette bounces with mirth.

Whatever class Wolfwood was going to be, the experiments done by the Dr. turned him into an alpha. It's done on purpose because alphas are more goal-oriented and driven, and because its pretty easy to keep them in line with a steady dose of hard-core suppressants. Getting Wolfwood to detox from them was definitely an exercise in building trust. The ensuing rut you had to help him through was. . . intense, to say the least.

Puts out his cigarettes when you're around. Just because he can cancel out the ill-effects by drinking his vials doesn't mean he has to subject you to it.

Say his first name nice and softly with some of those omega hormones pushing out into the room and watch his whole shoulder line gradually slump until he's putting his head on your shoulder and licking the oils from your scent glands.

Look, its fact that at some point he will use himself as a human shield to keep you safe because, again, he's got those vials to help him recover. The first time he got, for all intents and purposes, murdered in front of your eyes was a horrifying experience. Even after he'd made a full recovery (another mildly disturbing moment when he seemingly came back from the dead just as quickly as he joined it), you'd lost many nights worth of sleep. When he found out, you had a long discussion about his ready-fire-aim tendencies.

It came as no surprise you began to have nightmares. Try as he might, he wasn't good at consoling you at first. It took time for Wolfwood to realize slapping you on the back like some bro and telling you the vials taste like candy wasn't the way to make you feel better.

Has gotten your group thrown out of a number of establishments after holding a man at gunpoint for so much as flirting with you. Very clearly used the moment as an excuse to show off in front of you.

Definitely gives you the talk about worrying about yourself before others or before you make stupid choices that might put you in harms way. Gets you a gun of some kind, something manageable, and maybe it won't obliterate some of the things that are coming after you but it'll give you a chance to get away or at least buy time until he can get there.

“Whatever Blondie does, you do the opposite, you hear me?”

Also chew you out if/when you put yourself in danger. Doesn't matter why. He'll get in your face and yell and interrupt you at every turn. “I don't care that you were saving some kid! Drop kick him out a window for all I care! The next time you do something like that, I'll kill you myself!”

Loves showing off your relationship in front of others. Favorite thing to do is, whenever you go to sit by him in a public place, his arm snakes around you (whether its your arm or waist or a part of your clothing) and simply yanks you to his lap.

This man. This man would not touch a healthy relationship with a ten-foot pole. Like, we can agree his most stable relationship is with his gun, right? So totally expect him to be a little lost when it comes to taking care of you emotionally. It never occurred to him how many days had passed without him scenting you; just figured you were dealing with something or had a change in hormones when you began to smell sour.

On your end, you're freaking out. There has to be a reason why he's not doing it. Is he over you? Do you smell bad? Is something going on in his life you don't know about? Is there someone else? How do you bring it up without sounding accusatory? Should you just drop it?

When you finally lean in and just go for it, fisting his shirt and burrying your nose under his chin, nestled right up against his pulse, and purr, he does nothing for several seconds. Meanwhile your heart is skittering wildly. What you don't realize is you've positively short-circuited this poor man. Could his heart always beat like this? So fast, so erratically? A low rumble escapes him and encases you in an embrace.

He realizes this is the first time he's ever purred.

VASH

could legit be any class. I'm sure most of y'all see him as an omega, but for funsies I'll make him an alpha for a change!

Like, come on, you can't tell me those canines from the last episode scream anything else but alpha. Plus, we all know how determined he can get. Just imagine that you're the one he can't turn his instincts away from, you're the one that makes him feel the most like a regular person, you're the one that elicits such a visceral reaction from him.

Three words: PRO TEC TIVE. If you got with him hoping to break him of his savior mentality, you've gotten with the wrong person. His habits include but are not limited to: keeping watch every time you sleep (even at the risk of his own lethargy), repositioning you to where he perceives to be the safest spot (picking dining tables closest to an exit, putting himself between you and strangers, ensuring an unobstructed path to you and his gun, etc.), scenting your clothes every morning before you wake to keep other alphas from bothering you, smiling in such a way that he shows off his canines to anyone that bothers you, and coming up with lame excuses to get you away from anyone that bothers him. Vash is mostly polite about it, but you know what't up. Nuzzle into him and watch him melt into you and purr gently.

Yo his glyphs pulse when his alpha instincts come to the surface. Defending you from another alpha? Needing to scent you to feel calm? You got him riled up? All those will do it and its sometimes been a close call to hide it from strangers. You love it when it happens in the dark of a room and he literally lights up the space.

Seeing you in his jacket sends a shiver up his spine and makes his pupils expand considerably. He's soooo attentive to you. The slightest change in your scent due to your emotions — whether they be fear or jealousy or loneliness — and he's on you, nuzzling into your scent glands to try and calm you and offering to get you someplace private for a scenting session. Don't be surprised if he completely ignores your protests and excuses the two of you from the rest of the group.

One time he was so caught up in the moment of battle, so fearful when he saw a gun aiming for your chest, that his cybernetic hand grabbed for your arm and yanked you aside. It almost hurt him as much as if you'd been shot when he realized his fingers left dark bruises on your skin, and he'd carelessly flung you into a bookshelf where you'd knocked the back of your head against the corner, causing wet blood to rush into your hair and face.

He refused to touch you for days after that. Thankfully, in the dead of night, long after everyone else had gone to bed, you found him leaning bodily against the wall at the end of the hallway, resisting his hormone-fueled delirium on sheer willpower alone, and were able to convince him to give in to the bond. Oh how he wanted to scent you and be scented, how his oil glands wetted themselves feebly, desperate to touch your scent glands. You had enough when he tried to escape you again; one gentle press to the gland on his wrist and he finally gave in — pupils expanded, eyes glossed over, canines descended. Vash pinned you against the wall, chuffing and nuzzling while you tried to keep your head on straight. His pheromones were positively overwhelming.

Vash reverently touched the bandage on your head and the bruises on your arm, apologizing with whines and whimpers. The poor man could hardly speak with the hormones buzzing through him, but he tried to convey the pain he felt at hurting you, even unintentionally. You soothed the guilt with gentle words and a steady stroke to the gland on his neck.

Because of his biology, he has a very unique scent. It's clean and fresh and everyone takes notice. You've had to fight off a few omegas during your time together. My man's totally clueless.

Like, he can smell you're frustrated, but why? Those ladies were just helping him get directions to the next town? Oh, they were holding his arm as they pointed to the horizon? He never noticed. They were just being nice. Why were you glaring at them? Whatever the reason, he can tell you need his pheromones and floods the space with them accordingly.

Sooooo hesitant when it comes to marking you, or really even allowing his mouth anywhere near your supple skin. He doesn't trust himself not to lose control or get carried away. Vash knows what being bound to him would mean; the danger, the running. To him, it's no different than painting a bullseye on you. It takes time, and a lot of trust and coaxing, but eventually he gives in to the trance tugging at his brain. Eventually, he gives himself over to it. His nibbling teeth and laving tongue don't leave your skin for some time.

[myloveismineallmine]

Sydcarmy & Beauty and The Beast

So, The Bear is a story with many themes and messages in it. The process of creating a story a lot times is just frankenstein-ing other stories and elements you like plus your owned lived experience.

I don't really remember how I started thinking about it, I do remember it was like 3am so that definitely has something to do with it, but I started thinking about Beauty and The Beast. And then I started comparing certain elements of it with The Bear. And then I started reading the Wikipedia page for Beauty and The Beast. And then I looked at the clock and it was like 4am so I was like okay, I should sleep now actually.

I did notice a lot of interesting similarities between the two, so I wanted to compare some of them in this post here. I think it's a really interesting lens to look at the story of The Bear from.

Chapter 1: The Beast

So, while it would be cool to do some kind of role reversal with the two romantic leads, this story does not do that, and the obvious parallel for Carmy is The Beast.

Rundown of The Beast's character traits, via wikipedia:

"In the original tale, the Beast is seen to be kind-hearted for the most part, and gentleman-like, with only an occasional tendency to be hot-tempered. Disney's interpretation of the Beast made him more constantly angry and depressed, due to the shame from his unkind actions which led to his transformation, and particularly his struggle of reconciling his hideous appearance with his inner humanity which made him feel hopeless about breaking the curse. Supervising animator Glen Keane describes The Beast as "a twenty-one-year-old guy who's insecure, wants to be loved, wants to love, but has this ugly exterior and has to overcome this." Upon his reform under his love interest Belle, his personality changes to refined and more even-tempered, while naive about the world at the same time."

Obviously this isn't to shame JAW's appearance, he's a pretty attractive dude, I'm looking more at the personality traits here.

The Disney version of him is way more unhinged and animal-like, which I'm not sure perfectly fits Carmy, but I feel like the insecurity, anger and depression is pretty accurate.

I don't think the "beast" element is entirely irrelevant, however. Let's think about what the namesake of the show is: The Bear. In reference, or course, to the main family having the last name Berzatto. They do also refer to each other as "Bear."

It's Cousin Michelle who makes the connection between the Berzattos and literal bears:

When she mentions this quote someone had said to her.

Stevie likens the Berzattos to bears later on in this episode:

It's pretty clear that the Berzattos = bears. Aggressive, but also kind and emphatic.

I also want to talk about the very first scene of The Bear:

Carmy is letting the bear out of it's cage, walking slowly towards it. He says "I know" to the bear, trying to calm it, or maybe trying to empathize with it. The bear growls and attacks him, and he wakes up from the nightmare.

It's clear that the caged bear represents something in Carmy. His rage, his stress, his grief. And he can't control it, it escapes and it consumes him.

Backstory of The Beast, extremely paraphrased:

Disney version: A prince is spoiled, cold-hearted and extremely selfish. He's transformed into a hideous beast as punishment, and told he won't transform back unless he earns the love a beautiful young woman.

Fairytale version: The prince's father died before he was born, and his bio mother leaves him in the care of an evil fairy godmother. Things get weird and incesty, this was the 1700s ig, the godmother tries to seduce the prince when he's an adult. He rejects her and she curses him to become a beast and says the curse won't be broken until he receives a maiden's act of true love. There's then a lot of really irrelevant fairy-lore and other stuff that I don't really want or need to get into.

I feel like evil mother figure one might be more accurate? Especially because Donna's one of the people who gave him so much trauma that he still carries with him? Generational trauma and addiction is "a curse" in a way.

Chapter 2: The Beauty

So it's very clearly Sydney.

Beauty in the OG fairytale doesn't have a super interesting personality outside of "pretty, caring and kind." so I think we'll look more at the Disney version here:

"While the studio wanted Beauty and the Beast to resemble an old-fashioned film, the writers envisioned Belle as "a woman that was ahead of her time"."

"...  the screenwriter conceived Belle as a headstrong feminist to avoid creating another "insipid" Disney princess."

"Beauty and the Beast's story department was predominantly male. Woolverton often argued with the more traditional story artists over Belle's role and personality, but continued to be supported by Katzenberg and lyricist Howard Ashman, the latter of whom also lobbied for "a thinker and a reader" who "wasn't a victim"."

So, Belle was basically a strong and independent woman for Disney at the time. I wanna hone in more on these character traits they mention specifically.

Sydney is very intelligent, even an overthinker at times. She literally shows up to, like, week 2 of work with a full book written on how the business can be improved.

We know she's a reader. Not only from the coach K book, she also mentions lending Marcus books at some point.

I also think Sydney fits the "not a victim" criteria. Sydney is shown pretty consistently to stand up for herself and fight back in situations.

On Beauty's backstory:

In every version of The Beauty and The Beast, Beauty's a daughter to a widower (much like Sydney is.) Beauty has many siblings, most notably her evil older sisters. They are omitted from the Disney version, and Belle is an only child.

In the Disney version, Belle is well known for her beauty, but looked down upon for not conforming to more traditional feminine roles.

Being a headstrong woman of color in the very white and male dominated world of fine dining, I can see how she fits this.

Her father has doubts about her career as a chef, she has had bad experience with chefs in leadership positions before, and the crew of The Beef really looks down on her at the beginning of the series.

Chapter 3: Beauty and The Beast

So now let's talk about the actual relationship of the Beauty and The Beast.

Belle/Beauty is lured into The Beast's castle because her father is being held captive inside. And interestingly....

Sydney references her father as the reason for why she applies for The Beef.

In the fairytale, The Beast is immediately smitten with Beauty and asks her to marry him every day. That would be a very obvious HR violation in The Bear, so I think it might be better to look at the Disney version of this story.

So in the Disney version, The Beast is more annoyed that Belle and her father showed up at all, but he does know she's a pretty woman and allows the release of her father so she will be his prisoner instead.

Their relationship is pretty bad at first, like you'd expect a captor and prisoner relationship to be, but he does allow her a nice lavish room. He orders her to have dinner with him, and she refuses to leave her room to protest against him.

Carmy and Sydney were friendly at first meeting, but after The Stock Incident, their cracks really start to show. It's when Sydney really stands her ground and argues back at him. This is not the end of the arguments and tension between them.

Belle and the Beast end up getting in a fight when Belle snoops around his room. He yells at her more loudly this time, and Belle flees the castle on horseback. She gets attacked by a pack of wolves and The Beast saves her. She takes him back to the castle and nurses his wounds.

This to me matches with the final fight Sydney and Carmy have in season 1. Carmy displays the worst of his anger, and it causes Sydney to want to wipe her hands with him completely. She grabs her stuff and leaves, telling him she's quitting.

She comes back when he apologizes to her, and they have a real bonding moment when they decide to open a restaurant together.

The Beast and Belle start to have a better relationship after The Beast heals. They become more friendly, The Beast more docile, and they're both really happy for the first time in the film. There's a scene where The Beast shows Belle the castle library and tells her it's hers.

I think the equivalent would be seeing Carmy and Sydney plan the menu together. In those scenes they seem less like co-workers and more like friends. You can also tell it's one of the few things they get actual real enjoyment doing.

I think the main parallel I see for this relationship is how Carmy and Sydney improve each other. Like with Belle and The Beast, you can actually see Carmy learn how to better handle conflict and communicate more efficiently when he's placed with Sydney.

He's more vulnerable. He apologizes more. He's able to better control his temper.

There's two very concrete examples of Sydney being able to help stabilize his emotions, actually.

Sydney is quite literally "taming the beast" in Carmy. Cognitive behavioral therapy would also achieve that, but Carmy is too much of a workaholic to attend a session, so Sydney will have to do for now. They didn't have CBT in 1700s France, either, unfortunately.

I will also say that this isn't a 90 minute Disney movie, so the slow-burn will be slow-buring for awhile until we get to the actual conclusion of the fairytale.

Chapter 4: Gaston

so I have two characters in mind for this role: Richie and Marcus. But def more heavy on Richie than Marcus.

Gaston is a villain made exclusively for the Disney movie. Here's some description for him:

"In direct contrast to his adversary the Beast, Gaston is depicted as physically handsome with an unattractive personality, both physically and emotionally embodying hypermasculinity. "

"Gaston has been generally positively received by film critics, as his lack of "magic power or political influence" means that his villainy tends to resonate with audiences who often identify someone similar to him in real life, although critics regard him as a less memorable villain than some of the studio's previous efforts."

"The Huffington Post described early drafts of Gaston as "a weaselly, sort of wimpy character." In fact, Gaston was originally intended to resemble more of an annoying than antagonistic character,"

So I think Richie kind of fits the "hypermasculinity" thing, in terms of some of his mindset and sexist behaviors.

Richie, for at least the first season, really looks down on fine dining as a concept. He makes fun of Carmy and Syd for their background in it and makes snide comments about it whenever possible.

Gaston also looks down on Belle for liking books, and encourages her to live a more "simple" life with him instead.

Here's a really interesting parallel I found with these two:

Making fun of the main character's book and then throwing it away? In the intro of the story? Very interesting.....

As far as the similarity with Marcus: it begins and ends with Marcus and Gaston both having unrequited feelings for the main female protagonist.

Other than that, Richie is way more Gaston coded in the grand scheme of things. Just not as evil. I feel like he gives first-draft Gaston with being "More annoying than antagonistic."

Chapter 5: What about Claire?

I see Claire fitting into this as almost like a faux-Belle. The love interest that's supposed to "fix" the main protagonist, but something doesn't work.

Again, there's two scenes I wanna look at specifically to showcase this:

This reaction shot of Carmy. This is the last shot of the sex scene, and there are some other previous shots of the sex scene overlaying this at times. But I've been wanting to do a deep dive into it for awhile-- why have this shot? What's the purpose of it?

I think that this shot clearly tells us that Carmy is either pensive and/or dissatisfied with what has happened. Laying with his eyes open and just staring at the wall, deep in thought, possibly regretful. This isn't the expression a man who's just had sex with a pretty woman usually has. This is one of many clues that this relationship isn't something that he really wants or enjoys.

Aaaand, the panic attack scene again. If Claire was his "true love", she would be able to quell his anxiety and panic, if this whole "beauty and the beast" story arc I'm putting together is to be believed.

Claire is the perfect girl. She's pretty, smart, talented. His family loves her. She loves him. But she does nothing to fix his problems. Because it's not true love.

Carmy not being happy at the thought of Claire vs Carmy cracking a smile because he looks at containers of radichio + fennel, ingredients Sydney cooked him once.

It is ABUNDANTLY clear that his feelings for Syd help his mental state in ways his feelings for Claire do not. Because what he feels for Sydney is closer to true love.

Conclusion:

Am I saying Christopher Storer took the plot beats and characters 1 for 1 from Beauty and The Beast? No, obviously not. Am I saying that maybe he sat down one day and this movie was on and he was like "hey maybe i can do something with this"? Possibly!

This is just speculation at the end of the day, but I really loved looking at all the possible connections between these two things. Tell me your thoughts on all of this: cool interpretation or am I just talking out of my ass?

[bluegekk0]

⇾ PINNED POST ⇽

Hi! You can call me Gekko. I make art, primarily for my Hollow Knight AU, named Feral PK AU, but you'll also find occasional dragon/dinosaur art or maybe even fanart from other media. I also reblog posts from various other things, so it can get a bit chaotic.

That being said, the AU is the main focus of this blog. It is a slice of life AU for my favorite characters which mostly takes place in Dirtmouth, though over time it also evolved into a personal worldbuilding and character driven project.

Just a heads up, it does stray quite a bit from the canon and many popular fanon interpretations, so please approach with an open mind! If you have any questions, check the FAQ below first and don't be afraid to send me asks about it!

»»———-　 　———-««

Other places to find me:

» twitter // 🔞

» bluesky

» ko-fi

Art tag: #gekko.art

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╚══AU LORE PAGE (WIP)══╝

╚══AU SHORT SUMMARY══╝

AU RELATED TAGS:

#feral pk au - the main AU tag, contains all related art, posts and ask responses

#modern fpk au - tag for the modern spin-off of the AU; same as above

#dragon fpk au - tag for the dragon spin-off of the AU

#au designs - tag for all the AU character design sheets and other related posts

#au character bios - similarly to above, this tag includes written down descriptions for the AU characters

#au worldbuilding - tag for all posts/ask responses related to the general AU worldbuilding headcanons

#au character posts - for separate text posts about the AU characters

#save - this is how I tag AU related posts which I find to be worth reading for a better understanding of the characters, or anything else I want to easily access in the future

#ask stuff - tag for all ask responses. If you only want those related to the AU, I recommend browsing through the main AU tag instead

#art guide - tag for any art tips and guides that I posted

CHARACTER TAGS: #vyrm / #fpk ● #grimm / #nkg ● #lewk ● #asta ● #milo ● #hornet ● #holly ● #zote ● #white lady ● #brumm ● #divine ● #bretta ● #lurien ● #ogrim ● #cornifer ● #iselda ● #elderbug ● #jiji ● #jinn ● #mato ● #quirrel ● #lemm ● #tiso ● #radiance

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(disclaimers about the blog and the AU below)

»»———-　 　———-««

DISCLAIMERS:

» Please do not reupload my art anywhere. I'm okay with people using it as their icons/banners, but please remember to credit me.

» Since this is a primarily AU related blog, anything I say about the characters is from a headcanon lens. A lot of my headcanons are quite different from the most popular fanon interpretations, so please be aware of that before you respond, especially in regards to fandom jokes and character hate.

» A large chunk of my drawings and posts features the ship Pale Nightmare, so if you dislike it I would not recommend following my blog. It's the only ship I'm invested in, and while I avoid ship discourse, there are some that I find uncomfortable, particularly those between the characters that I consider family within the AU (Grimm/Hornet and Grimm/Hollow being the primary ones).

» Although I might occasionally touch upon topics that are in the suggestive or sexual territory in regards to some characters, this blog is otherwise still meant to be SFW. I will not be posting any explicit artwork, and I try to keep the suggestive topics tasteful. If you are interested in my NSFW art, do not ask me about it here, instead head over to my Twitter private alt. I try my best to keep the two places separate.

» Additionally, some of my art includes blood and very mild gore, though I try to tag it whenever there's excessive amounts of it in the artwork (I use the tags #blood and #gore). There may also be very occasional mentions/depictions of pregnancy, please block the tags #pregnancy (for art) and #pregnancy mention (for text posts) if you would prefer not to see it/read about it. Please let me know if there are any other things that you would like me to tag!

»»———-　 　———-««

AU RELATED DISCLAIMERS/FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

» The AU takes place after the Embrace the Void ending, and so The Knight/Ghost is not present. Here is a post detailing what happened to them (and the other shade siblings in the Abyss).

» Feral PK's name in the AU is Vyrm (an alternate spelling of Wyrm that he uses as his name), though I occasionally refer to him as FPK. Also, I headcanon him as gay (demi-gay to be more precise). At the current point in the AU he and The White Lady are separated.

» As you probably noticed, most of my designs stray very far from insect-like interpretations. That is very much intentional. In the AU, I see "bug" as a general term for "people", not an implication that they are all insects. While some characters do have more insect-like anatomy, there are others which possess reptilian, mammalian or even plant-like traits. I go a little more in detail on how I see that term in this post. So while I'm not bothered by people referring to for example, Grimm or Vyrm as insects, keep in mind that this is not how I personally view them.

» Additionally, I see the characters as much larger than real life insects. As a reference point, Vyrm is similar in height to a raccoon standing on two legs. For this reason, most of the characters have skeletal structures to support larger body mass. There are some exceptions, notably characters such as Unn.

» Please keep in mind that the AU originated as something I found comfort in, and it remains that way. There may be inconsistencies, I might retcon things on the go, and some things may simply not be well written. I also have no plans to turn it into a fanfic or a comic.

» I'm always open to answer questions about the AU and the characters! So if you have any, please don't be afraid to send me an ask, I absolutely love responding to them. 💖

» I am currently working on a WorldAnvil page for a more detailed, wiki-like AU info, link at the top of the post!

[chronicbeans]

hihi !! i loved ur wally x reader of the maladaptive daydreaming and autism! :p

i don’t know if you have requests on, i did check your bio and also pinned post but anyway! if you aren’t doing requests you can just ignore this :D

human!wally x human!reader who HAS to sleep with a plushie/teddy else they’d have nightmares/sleep paralysis? sorry if it’s too much to ask or i haven’t put enough detail !! <33

Oh no I am still taking requests! They are just coming out very, veeerrrryyy slowly. Lol my brain is becoming a mixture of like... 2-3 fandoms, so everything is slower. Sorry!

Human Wally and a Human Reader who needs Plushies to Sleep:

TW: Insomnia, Sleep Paralysis

🧸 You were embarrassed to say that you need a plush or teddy to sleep. He will grow silent for a moment, causing you to grow even more embarrassed. Then, he will raise a finger to tell you to stay still, before turning around and opening up his closet. Next thing you know, you are buried in apple plushies as the tumble out of his closet.

🧸 Turns out, he is in a similar situation! He just can't fall asleep in general. Stupid insomnia. So, he has a bunch of apple plushies he hoards onto his bed, which is a part of why he keeps his bed in the corner, against a wall. He crowds them in a corner against a wall, making sure they won't fly off if he moves in his sleep, then falls asleep.

🧸 So... You can borrow some! He has like, what? Thirty plushies? Fourth? He lost count after the fiftieth plush apple.

🧸 He hasn't experiences sleep paralysis, but... from the one time he has seen you during it, it didn't look too nice. Then, when you talked to him about it afterward, he was horrified by it! It sounds like torture! Now he REALLY knows you need his apples!

🧸 Are you having a sleepover? Did you move in? It doesn't matter the situation, but if you ever have to sleep in the same bed as Wally, there WILL be a system to make sure you both get equal plushie distribution. He has three plans:

🧸 1: Wall. Just a wall of plush apples between you two. This is not the best option, because whoever is against the wall will probably be sore from being pressed against it.

🧸 2: Shell. Two equal rows of plushies along the outside of the bed, with you and Wally smooshed in the middle. Wally likes this option the best, because he likes human contact just as much as his plush apples. However, during late spring or summer, it might get a bit hot from body heat. There is also the fact that you might be uncomfortable being pressed against him. Everyone has their own idea of personal space, after all!

🧸 3: Stripes. Two rows on the outside, with one row in the middle. This is the second best option, in Wally's opinion. Protection from the wall the bed is against, with a protective wall between you and Wally, in case human contact isn't your thing while trying to sleep. It kinda looks like stripes along his bed, hence the name!

🧸 So, which option is the best? Do you need him to demonstrate each option? Maybe alternate between them, depending on the season? Just let him know!

[thathatchetfieldconspiracist]

Hatchetfield investigation log, Entry #2

Okay, I think I might finally have something worth noting (though it might be nothing and I'm just overthinking it.)

I met a fellow Hatchetfield High student on here, Rory. I had seen them around school before, but we had never spoken. As soon as we started talking, I could tell that something was amiss.

At first, our conversation was very normal. We talked about our interests, our hobbies, etc. But then... I read their bio. Okay, stick with me here.

They've changed it now (of course they have), but it said something along the lines of: "I definitely didn't make a deal with that purple eye thing." This, of course, meant that Rory definitely did make a deal with "that purple eye thing".

I was confused, obviously. I questioned them about it, but they got all uncomfortable and played it off as an inside joke. Our conversation ended before I could ask any more questions, unfortunately.

I've been wracking my brain for days on end about this. What purple eye thing?? I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something, but then it hit me:

Blinky.

Y'know, the weird feathery mascot thing from Watcher World?? It's a big purple eye (well, yellow and purple, but I'll take it), and that thing always used to haunt my nightmares when I was a kid. I always knew it was just some teen in a mascot costume, but... I felt as if it was always watching me, somehow.

It was as if there was a Blinky around every corner. Surely there were more than just one or two teens in those costumes, because there were hundreds of Blinkys around that damn amusement park. God, just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

I'll try to talk to Rory about it the next time I see them at school. And, uh, maybe I should check out Watcher World. Count some Blinkys, hah...

[buddy-daddies]

theory time: is "suwa" rei's real family name ?

buckle up, friends, for this one is a wild ride that i don't have a lot of faith in, but it's been haunting me for a bit now.

i keep thinking back to the scene in ep3 where kazuki and rei are talking about their respective childhoods, and one thing seems a little odd to me.

it's clear that the only thing kazuki really knows about rei's family is that it's a filthy rich one. he calls rei a "rich boy" in ep4 and makes an off-handed comment in ep3 that rei's family "sounds like a pain."

from the character bios on the official buddy daddies website (translated here by the amazing @skeletonpunching), we know that rei was born into a huge mafia family. i would think it would be strange for kazuki, who a) has been in the criminal world for many years and b) works primarily in intel gathering, would not have made the connection that rei is from this prominent mob family.

is it possible that rei goes by a different family name, then ?

his reasons for doing so could be numerous. we know he doesn't exactly have the best relationship with his father (who literally tells him not to call him "father" at all), so it could have been to distance himself from that family name that brings him so many awful memories and nightmares (like in the start of ep3.) is he maybe in the same boat as miri and an illegitimate child that the father had with a mistress ? maybe the father didn't want his bastard son to carry the family name but kept him as a pawn in his mob family army.

what, then, could rei's real family name be ?

my guess ? ogino

sound familiar, right ?

that's this guy's family name.

the next part of my theory is that ogino ryo and suwa rei are related.

the most likely possibility ? ogino is rei's uncle.

rei and ryo are very close given names, so it's quite possible that was an intentional choice by the showrunners and a small hint that they're somehow related.

(i am not going to even begin to entertain the thought that ogino ryo turns out to be rei's real father. that would be a CRAZY TWIST but i will stick with uncle for now.)

also, look at them. they both have sunken in eyes and do not know how to look at people normally.

this is not to mention the fact that they're both pale as all hell, have dark hair, and even have somewhat similar eye colors.

we see a scene in the opening where rei's on his motorcycle, and then it shifts to ogino rolling down the passenger-side window of his car.

there is also a scene in the trailer where ogino (i THINK it's him, correct me if i'm wrong !) asks (presumably) rei, "why do you kill ?" it's asked over a scene of rei in an unknown vehicle, which i think might be one of his father's men chauffering him, and then we hear rei reply right after. very fishy.

the lovely @albertinesimonet has a theory, born from the conversation between kyu-chan and the boys in ep5, that rei might have been there with ogino the day that kazuki's wife died.

could kazuki (or even his wife ?) have done something (intentionally or on accident) to warrant the organization placing a hit on them ? was rei involved in the death of kazuki's wife, and has he kept that knowledge from him this whole time ?

the idea has led to some very intriguing discussions about whether rei took kazuki in and lets him jerk him around on the regular out of guilt and feelings of atonement...

much to think about...

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/10✨

I'll be streaming on my Twitch page TOMORROW at 1PM ET!

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK have a power neither Wukong nor Macaque have ?

Probably something that is a mix of each parent power, creating something new. Like- He can hear the past, but can also use his gold vision. SO maybe he learns not only to hear to past, but also see it (but maybe instead of being gold the vision is purple)

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have nightmares about LBD or Azures death or something? @the-ninja-girl-in-blue ha chiesto: I swear for some reason, even after returning back to his normal age, I still can’t help but picture MK having a nightmare in the middle of the night and just starts chirping in his sleep because of it and that ends up getting the attention of his two monkey dads. I can’t help but picture them either waking him up and asking him about the nightmare into his bed to cuddle with him to hopefully calm him down. I also kind of like the idea of them offering to let him stay in their bed with them for the night. basically, I just wanna see them comforting MK after he has a nightmare. For some reason, I could see the nightmare being about either LBD or about the ending of season five when he attempts suicide.

Yes he does have nightmares about that. He usually does, most times he's at Pigsy's, and Freenoodle is there to help him. He hasn't had a LBD nightmare at FFM yet, but even as an adult he would totally chirp without noticing it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Angst idea what if heaven was scared of MK being the "harbinger of chaos" and took him away as a baby locking him away instead. It's up to you if wukong knew of his existence before he was taken. Eventually someone or something releases him. MK Finds out why he was locked away and just goes on a rampage through heaven bonus angst wukong has to stop him

Do heaven even knew he was the harbinger of chaos? Like seriously I don't remember if it was ever stated in the show. Honestly is crazy no one picked up that kid aurea. Makes you wonder who te fuck put such a powerful glamour on him when he was found by Pigsy.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi :D i wanted to say that i LOOOVE the bioparents au, it's so lovely 💖 and, i must ask, will we get more cliché scenes with our little monkeys? like accidental fall or something on this lines? i need my clichés back 😭😭

eeehhhhh maybe? I'm not too much of a fan of clichè I'll be honest, mostly bc I see them around all the time and I prefer to do something new.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be funny if MK started subconsciously mimicking things from his friends and family. little things like putting his shoes the same way Teng does. Standing in the same posture as Mei. Ext. Monkeys often will mimic each other as a sign of fondness and affection. Monkey see monkey do.

I think he already does that in the show with Wukong sometimes! It's super cute!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay hear me out, since mk kinda saw their past and everything. Does mk possibly have small abandonment issues (not that he doesn’t already) and does he hear little moments in the past of macaque and Wukong’s pain. By the way I absolutely love your art!!! I check your page everyday. 💕

I think if he ever said that to Wukong he'll make sure that every.single.day. he reminds him that he'll never leave his side.

@tinyplanetss ha chiesto: regarding the latest biodads update, did wukong ever know that macaque panicked and lashed out way back then due to seeing his "betrayal" in his future vision? i can't imagine it would've come up before he mentioned it to mk, unless they had a talk about it after their rooftop apology.....

I think they talked about it during the night Wukong apologized to Macaque. The comic I did stops after a certain point but they talked all night about what happened.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Macaque on some late night mission): I've got to get back before Wukong realizes I'm not in bed. (Wukong who woke up and had a nightmare): Macaque.. MACAQUE

They can't stand being apart anymore now.

@eerieqloss ha chiesto: Wait I got a question, at the beginning of the Shadowpeach bio parent AU When they found out MK was their son biologically through Nuwa of course. But how did they get to her and ask her? I don't know why this question just randomly appeared in my head

Now that MK "opened the gate" access to other deities is much more easier.

@bottyshaker-900o ha chiesto: Wait! Does MK know they sleep together now!?

He did 2+2.

@youroriku ha chiesto: If MK monkey form is showing more or will there be a comic where he lost Control over it ?Recently, fewer people talk about it. Btw i love your art ❤️🌸🫶

mmm... Maybe not in my current timeline. Maybe more in the future. I don't think MK himself wants to loose control again like with Azure

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hii love your art! Wouldn't it be funny if someone was trying to have a serious conversation with Wukong and Macaque and baby MK is just climbing all over their shoulders and they're completely unfaced by it cuz it's like 'yeah this is normal just let him play' but whoever they're talking with can't focus on anything but MK's shinanigans.

hehehe baby shenanigans my beloved

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'll admit I'm more into the chubby, dad bod gang for Wukong but the way you draw buff wukong also makes me happy too! ^-^

Thank you!

@ketsuruithekiller ha chiesto: I like to suffer. So I would like to know if Wukong still has thoughts of guilt. If he fully accepted Mk's decision not to be his successor, without having the idea that like others he would hate it and leave at some point.

ye he does sometimes have the paranoia. But MK is there also to remind him that he'll always be in his life.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are Wukong and Macaque, in your bio parents au, back together? Or is it a situationship? I'm sorry if it's already been stated in the story or if you've already answered something like this. I'm just a brain-dead potato who loves your comic.

Nah they still are in the progress of having to forgive each other but they are very much in a situationship.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ello Ello, do you think any of the three monkeys would know how to take care of a sick person? Or would they just have to go to sandy or pigsy or someone?

I think yes. Canonically by JTTW, Wukong is an expert in many fields, including medicine. But I do wonder if sometimes he forget after so many years of reclusion that people can get sick.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So Wukong was stuck in the memory of MK sacrificing himself ? Was it identical to the scene in season 5 or was his dream different ? Poor Wukong looked so traumatized

It was the same as S5

Anonimo ha chiesto: I love, LOVE your bio au! I enjoy a lot!!!! Question! Wukong and Macaque have any chance to go to a date?

mmm maybe in the future

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know Is not the case but At some point, hasn't Pigsy felt a little jealous or strange of how MK goes directly to Wukong or Macacke when he has a problem?

I think Freenoodle is taking the opportunity of having the second set of parents to annoy the heck out of them and redirect all the akward questions and advices the kid ask them because "we had to do it for 21 years now you get to have the annoying part of parenting as well"

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto: Hello!! I absolutely love your art and I am currently watching your twitch (Which I can't log into and type in chat for some reason😭) but anyways. I also have a question if you ship Mei with anyone? Like a side character or Spindrax or someone else or if you make her Aroace or just don't generally ship her or smth! :) But besides that I love your art style and the way you draw everything!! Thank you for drawing this stuff and feeding my LMK hyperfixation!!

I do also ship Dragon fruit. Just in my comic I kind of had to choose one ship for now.

wolfsonic ha chiesto: Since we know WuKong is the bottom of ShadowPeach. Who's the bottom in SpiceyNoodles?

MMMMMMMMM TOO SOON TO SAY.

@draxeanlxia ha chiesto: Bio!Parents AU question, who does the laundry and who’s not allowed to touch the laundry because he’ll ruin your clothes without meaning to? For me, I think Wukong would be the one doing laundry while Macaque isn’t allowed near the washing machine. But that’s just me, what’s yours?

yeah seems fitting!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If MK started blushing when he saw Red Son in his true form I wonder how he would react to seeing Red Son shirtless with muscles and abs in that form XD

I headcanon MK as demisexual so probably he would notice and appreciate the aesthetic attraction but wouldn't be TOO flustered. In this case, it's RedSon who's the Wukong of the two of them (being flustered by like, seeing 2% of MK back or smt.)

Anonimo ha chiesto: So I wondered if Xiaotian's powers were like Steven's, since they responded to his emotions

yep.

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they decide to have a baby who will be pregnant macaque or wukong!?

I think I said it already once but I don't think that's how baby Stone Monkeys are born??? Like how would carry a stone inside your body work that's the thing. There's is to say they are demons who knows how they work honestly.

Anonimo ha chiesto:Will the calabash return ?

nope

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Mei have a true form? Doesn’t seem fair that MK and Red Son have super forms and Mei doesn’t. I think she should be able to be a straight up dragon.

Doesn't she already goes straight up dragon in the show?

@phantom-premeir ha chiesto: Okay this is a pretty dumb question but I gotta know, out of the monkey trio whose the biggest crash out,just an absolute mess of a person?

I think Wukong

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are we gonna see a wedding of these gay monkeys?

Who knows.

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto:Oh my gosh, the new chapter is amazing, now we defiantly know Macaque has probably courtnapped Wukong >:3 I also have another question! Perhaps in the future will Macaques sacrifice be brought up? Like, yeah, he came back. But the guy was gone for days and who knows what he saw in there and/or what memories he saw because he was probably stuck in those for days. But just wondering if you might bring that up in the future? :) Make sure to take breaks, drink water and eat something!! >:(

Oh yeah that ahah. Maybe?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Imagine MK's sacrifice in season 5 would happen AFTER Macaque and Wukong found out that he is their son. This would make it even more heartbreaking

Bruh... Xiaotian wouldn't have been able to move an inch again from Wukong after he came back.

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wait... Is Wukong going to have to find a new successor now that MK won't be it?

Maybe what he will look for wont be a successor.... but an heir.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is the monkey's tail sensitive or smt!? I mean what will happen if u pull it ?

We r getting into NSFW territory here...

Anonimo ha chiesto:who do u think is the fluffiest monkey? Also what happens if said monkey got towel dried and poofed up?

MK, becasue he's a cub by stone monkey standard. He would become a fur ball.

arrow-artzz ha chiesto: Hello! I just wanna say, I love your art style and this whole ShadowPeach parent au ur making and I get so hyped and excited when I see a new part/ep come out!! I hope ur having fun with it and keep up the great work, you do a fantastic job, and you also inspire me to keep trying small art projects at home!! I truly hope you’re having a wonderful night, after noon or night! also think it would be cute if the whole gang did a movie night (Halloween movie) at FFM and one scene comes up and macaque used Wukong as a shield as if the movie was real :3 sorry this was long I tap a lot “^^

I think Wukong would be the one scared. Macaque is literally has sleep paralysis monsters has pets

[icxnvc]

If you’re hearing MERRY-GO-ROUND OF LIFE by JOE HISAISHI playing, you have to know MI-JUN "MICAH" LEE (HE/HIM; CISMALE) is near by! the 24 year old EMPLOYEE AT FINDERS KEEPERS / WANNABE ARTIST has been in denver for, like, THIRTEEN YEARS. they’re known to be quite SPINELESS, but being GENTLE seems to balance that out. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those SOFT SWEATERS, SHAKING HANDS AFTER CONFRONTATION, AND AWKWARDLY LONG BLANK STARES  vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the LAKERIDGE DISTRICT long enough!

Basics:

Name: Min-Jun Lee

Nickname: Micah

Age: 24

Birthday: January 14th

Occupation: Employee at Finders Keepers / Wannabe Artist

Sexuality: Bisexual

Residence: Lakeridge

FC: Lee Seung Gyu

Appearance:

Height: 6'

Hair: Black

Eyes: Brown

Tattoos/Piercings: None

Scars: A few, but they're hidden

Aesthetic:

If Micah could be a walking cherry blossom, he would be

Light colors, baggy clothes, sweaters that cover his hands, the color lavender

Bio: tw: abandonment, anxiety, mental health

Micah doesn't remember much of the town he grew up in, though he knows it isn't Colorado

In fact, he doesn't remember most of his childhood except for brief flashes of things in his nightmares and the few photos he has that were in his backpack

He's never gone looking for his family or his memories because if they didn't want him, he doesn't want them

When Micah was 11, his parents took a bus into Denver, and when they got on the next bus, they didn't take him with them

He spent hours in the bus terminal until somebody called the cops to pick him up.

The only reason he knows his name is from the tag that was attached to his backpack. The backpack contained a few pictures, a few changes of clothes, and a stuffed animal

The next three years were full of foster homes that didn't have enough patience for the boy who didn't want to speak, or otherwise replied in a language they didn't understand. He doodled a lot, and for a while, drawing became his main form of communication.

It wasn't until he was nearly fourteen that somebody thought to try getting a translator for him, and it helped. He'd been learning English since he was picked up, but it still wasn't comfortable for him.

By the time he ended up with his current family, he was mostly conversational in English, but still borderline mute. He let other kids pick on him, let adults boss him around, and then some, all while staring off into the distance as if it wasn't happening.

Micah blossomed with his final placement. He grew confident enough to speak, though he was still the quietest of his siblings, and his personality became so much more than "the weird kid in the corner." They adopted him when he was seventeen.

Micah still draws, he even went to college, just a local state school, and sees his family.

College was where he figured out his sexuality, having spent many nights tipsy and making out with any pretty boy or girl that looked at him twice.

Now, he works at Finders Keepers and dreams of what he could do next

Connections:

Friends: You can't go wrong with some pals

Enemies: Micah probably wouldn't have started shit, but he is an easy target

Romance: He's bi, he's shy, and he will not make the first move. If he gets flirted with, he turns red from the tips of his ears all the way to his toes. Though, he's a flirty, giggly drunk. Do with that what you will.

Friends of his family: Micah has 3 siblings, somebody probably knows them, and they might recognize him because of them

Shop Patrons: He works a lot of hours at Finders Keepers, running into him there is highly likely

Comfort Zone: Somebody needs to push him out of his comfort zone, it could be you

The Flirt: Could be a joke or for real, Micah won't know he's being flirted with, let alone know if it's for realizes. Once he does, he's a cherry tomato at all times.

Gym Buddy: You'd never know it looking at him, but Micah is built. He usually goes to the gym alone, but maybe they made friends at the gym, or they think they can help him out.

Date Night: Micah doesn't really go on dates, he's terrified to ask people out, but he would go if somebody asked. He might go because he'd feel bad saying no, but maybe not.

Fuck Buddy: He's not a virgin, but he might as well be. Somebody could fix that.

[levy120]

Rayman OC Stories Masterpost

So, when introducing the boy in the big OC request a while back, I had a really hard time keeping things short, so beneath the Cut is a little extended Bio and a Masterpost Collection of all the recent written work featuring him in his adult years :)

Maybe you can guess why keeping the summary short was a challenge :D

Jano takes off his hat, twirls the rim between his fingers. "I respect Rayman," he says, "As much as the next person." "But you fought," Poisen says. His voice is strained. "But we fought," Jano says with a nod. "As the Hero of the Glade, Rayman may largely be considered a warrior of light, but…" Jano pauses, looks at Poisen to make sure he's listening. "What he's supposed to do is uphold a balance."

Poisen is thinking. Jano can see it on his face, sense his mind putting the pieces together.

"In times like these, maybe another hero is not what this world needs." Poisen’s fingers twitch and his breath is shaking, but deep. "No," he says. "I'm just saying," Jano puts his hat back on, "Peace can be overbearing, too."

[Extended Bio]

Most of the following Oneshots are gathered [here] with some bonus pictures Shoutout: Most of this wouldn’t exist without @trianglekiwi :D

Part 1 - Self Reflection

Heal (Cave Prompt) Answering a Prompt about how exactly this OC mingles with the canon characters and taking a quick trip down memory lane about his past. On a trip in the nightmare cave, Poisen might learn things about himself previously unknown.

Relaxation Following Jano’s advice Poisen seeks out “Ales Mansay” for clues about Mr. Dark’s whereabouts and finds an odd friend in the Teensy.

Magic Poisen learns what Ales knows about Mr. Dark (and him among other things) and proposes a theory that Poisen isn’t ready to agree with.

Part 2 - Raymesis

Dark Poisen meets Raymesis for the first time and is thrown off by the strange Limbless and his ominous history. He tries Rayman’s approach in offering the stranger the benefit of the doubt.

Are You Challenging Me Poisen takes Raymesis to meet with Rayman. Things do not go according to plan, when the two of them would rather have a ‘fun brawl’ that goes out of hand.

Standing Still Poisen feels guilty about Rayman getting hurt in the fight with Raymesis and tries to figure out where he failed in his judgement of character.

Seeing Red Poisen decides Raymesis’s transgression need to be punished. Taking matters into his own hands, he drops the Mirror into the desert of the Knaaren and watches him fight his way out. 

Kick in the Head When Raymesis comes back for vengeance, Poisen’s anger reaches a boiling point and in a moment of impulse he lashes out at the other Limbless with a spell he hasn’t mastered yet. 

Part 3 - Taint

Triangle The attack on Raymesis has left Poisen sick and he tries to cure the after-effects of it by meditating close to a pure source of energy - at the Heart of the World. When he gets caught by the fairies he is not the only one at the scene. 

Break Away Rayman startles Poisen while he’s collecting treatment for his injury. On an accident he winds up learning a more personal side of his ally.

Light Poisen arrives at the Haven where Betilla is willing to help him cure the magic corruption.

No Way Out Exposed to the Protoon after so many years, Poisen has a Nightmare about Mr. Dark

Questioning After his Nightmare, Poisen decides it’s better to bail and look for another solution, but Betilla insists that there must have been more to it. Scared of that possibility Poisen seeks out the Nightmare Guardian in hopes to confirm that it’s been nothing but a Nightmare.

BONUS: Precious Treasure (Pirates 1) + Pirates 2 On his journey to the Nightmare Cave, Poisen met with the ragtag sailor crew of the Risen Peak and makes a life-changing impression on one of their members.

Part 4 - Brawlhalla

Last Hope (Part A) Mr. Dark is back and Rayman has traveled to Valhalla on a quest to retrieve the “Horn of Lums” to defeat him. Poisen rises to the call of filling his shoes in the hero’s absence. When Mr. Dark’s hideout gets discovered, Poisen decides to take matters into his own hands and face his demons. (It doesn’t go well)

Last Hope (Part B) While Poisen is busy dealing with the problems of the Glade, Rayman has his hands full in Vallhalla. His plans to get the Horn of Lums that will be instrumental in defeating Mr. Dark keep getting interrupted by Raymesis disguising himself as him and forfeiting every match to keep him from climbing up ranks.

Last Hope (Part C) Poisen wakes up in a Prison Orb. Mr. Dark tries to get him to teach him how the purification works. Eventually Ales breaks him out of his confinement. 

Last Hope (Part D) Back at the Haven, Poisen is forced to rest. When Mr. Dark takes the fight to them however, he’s determined to help.

Sorrow In the Aftermath Poisen expresses his regrets about all the things that have gone wrong.

Part 5 - Cam (in progress)

In which Poisen gets to meet his Mom

Ancient History - Baby Kiddo Times

1. Introduction Poisen gets fished out of the Swamps of Forgetting

2. Babysitting [In Progress] Not wanting to deal with the burden of having a kid tag along Mr. Dark tries to dump the little fellow at Space Mama’s place. She’s not amused.

3. Creation Poisen gets his name

4. What I know now (20 Year Anniversary) Poisen visits a Painting from the Sacred Gallery to look for a Book he read in his youth - and runs across a younger version of himself.

BONUS | Character Songs

Within Temptation - Hand of Sorrow

Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been

Jeremy Jordan - He Is No Man

Krysta Rodirguez - Haddonfield (15 years later)

Citizen Soldier - Golden Weather

BONUS | Trivia

While scouring archives I found his earliest traces to have been on October 5th 2004 

That makes him a Libra

Back when I was writing mostly German I’d always imagined his voice to sound like Daniel Brühl (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) But I’ve also grown to love imagining Jeremy Jordan as his ENGLISH voice :D (1) (2)

[percontaion-points]

Clawless chapters 29 & 30

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series

Chapter 29

At the sniff test, Cal had said she smelled like nothing. He’d been the one to proclaim her a dud, and since he had the best nose in the clan, I hadn’t argued with him. It was also one of the reasons I believed the lab report that said she was a void. When she’d come out as an omega, my dad’s theory was she’d had to hide her wolf so deep because of her human upbringing, and was only now able to let her shifter side rise to the surface. Which meant her wolf had to be tough. And maybe a hell of a lot stronger than anyone suspected.

Against all better judgement, I’m STILL waiting for the other shoe to drop in regards to Vail and her power. 

“You had a reaction to the medicine they used. It made you sick. You remember that?”

I refuse to believe that it was the actual medicine that they used, and more the medical abuse they forced upon her. 

“Whatever he does, it’ll be on me, not you. And I’ll make sure he knows my wolf and I are all in.”

Chapter 29 summary: Reed lies in bed with Vail while she sleeps. When she wakes up, he tells her briefly that she had a “bad reaction to the medication”, but I’m not sure if he even believes that. He gives her the food he ordered before she fell asleep. 

Then she suggests that they go to the pools so that she can heal. But Callum is already there. He’s quick to call out the findings that Vail herself is an omega, and is still of the opinion that he was right about her after he did the sniff test, back in the start of the first novel: that she’s not only a dud, but a void. He also says that Reed’s father would sell his own son out for the, and I quote, “chance to sniff the Marrow Alpha”. 

Reed and Vail drip all the way back to his room, since they wanted to get away from Callum as quickly as possible. Once in there, she asks him what it would be like for them to mate… Not the physical act, but the politics of it. Reed says that her grandfather would never allow for an arranged mate, but proposes a blood mating instead. That he’ll convince his two alpha friends to endorse the mating bond between them, so that it’s legitimate. That they’ll do it after the packball game this coming weekend, right in front of Jasper. Obviously, she’s worried about Jasper, but Reed says that any shit will fall onto Reed, not her. 

Chapter 30

I shuddered at the memory of walking into the principal’s office and realizing I was about to relive one of my worst nightmares. “They did it early in the morning after our movie night. Jasper, Principal Bregman, a couple of the security guards. They were all in on it.” 

Marnie shot forward on her seat with a cry. “What? Carter said he found you collapsed in the hall. He told me you were sick, but not because of that!”

I feel like his lying about it indicates that he knows, even if not subconsciously, that what they did to Vail was wrong. That if he tells others that he simply “found her sick and collapsed in the hall”, then maybe he himself would eventually come to believe it. 

A man in his late twenties looked back at me, but he wasn’t what I was expecting. He had a slight build and sharp cheekbones, emphasized by his swept-back hair. I couldn’t tell what color it was, but in every picture his beautiful blue eyes were the centerpiece. He looked kind, and thoughtful, and nothing like me at all. 

Let me guess: also not her bio-dad?

“You didn’t even warn me! Do you know what I thought when I walked into that office and saw the doctor there? All those medical instruments? And your asshole guards, holding me down? I thought it was going to be the same as the pack lab -.” 

He screwed his hands into fists, and I saw golden fur gleaming at his wrists. “Never! I would never let anyone hurt you like that again.” 

“What do you mean? You hurt me. With this!” I grabbed the collar at my throat, then turned to show him the scar behind my ear. “And this!”

Good. It’s about time that she finally grew a goddamned spine!!

“And the collar?” His face shuttered. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but that’s for your protection.” 

“What?” I gaped at him. “It didn’t protect me from Trey! Or from your goons shoving me face-first into that bench!” 

He looked so furious, I expected his wolf to leap right out of his skin. “They’ll live to regret ever touching you.” 

“It’s not enough.” I got my hands between us and wrenched myself free. “You can’t just say stuff like that and think it makes it all better.”

 “That’s because you’re not listening to me!” He shook his head like he was as frustrated as I felt. “I’ve done it all to keep you safe!”

He complains that she’s not listening to him… Yet when she tells him of all of the shit that she’s been through BECAUSE OF HIS SHITTY ACTIONS, he shuts down and insists that this is “to protect her”. 

“But don’t worry. I’m with Reed now, and he’s promised to do all that and more.”

Chapter 30 summary: In order to make people believe that the Reed/Vail relationship didn’t spring up out of nowhere, they have to let people see them, and for them to act like they’re totally in love. 

Marnie comes to Reed’s room when he isn’t there. And Vail basically gets her to talk about how difficult it’s been to have been labelled as a dud for most of her life. Vail is obviously still angry about the way that the system is intentionally designed against the duds, and promises Marnie that she and Reed are going to change everything. 

The next day, Vail goes to classes like usual. Reed walks her to each of her classes, and kisses her on the cheek at the door. In deportment, Reed ditches his own class so that he can be her dance partner. 

During a break in cheer practice, Vail talks with Nadia. Nadia doesn’t believe for a second that Vail’s relationship with Reed is real, claiming that she’s known him forever. Then she complains about a stomachache, so she goes to sleep in Ms. Costa’s office. She wakes up to the teacher pulling out some photos of Parker West, her supposed bio-dad. However, Parker doesn’t look anything like Vail, but she takes the photos anyway. 

Vail goes to the locker room, bracing herself for another encounter with Pearl. However, it’s instead Jasper who’s waiting for her. She’s quick to call him out on his abusive shit, although he insists that it was his mom who ordered the tracker to be put in Vail. Vail obviously doesn’t believe that, since the dude literally put the slave collar on her. Jasper insists that he’s going to take her to get the tracker cut out, but then the two of them start fighting about how he won’t remove the collar. That him promising to get the tracker out is an empty thing, seeing as how he won’t stop harassing her. She says that Reed is going to take care of it, because he’s actually a nice person who wants to be with her, regardless of her pack status. 

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Date Debacles & Discoveries

Swipe Right Fail: The Time I Found Myself in Never Have I Ever Hell (with Garlic Bread)

The world of online dating, where swipes reign supreme, bios are battlegrounds, and first impressions often involve questionable bathroom selfies. Brace yourselves, for a tale of epic dating app proportions—a symphony of cringe so potent it could score a horror film. Welcome to the saga of Swipe Right Fail.

It all began with a match, let's call him "Garlic Bread Bandit" (more on that later). His profile pic showed promise—decent lighting, no shirtless bathroom mirror selfies, bonus points for an actual dog. We exchanged messages, chuckled at his terrible puns (okay, maybe I laughed once), and agreed to meet for dinner. But the red flags were revealed the moment he pulled up in a beat-up sedan resembling a science project gone wrong. My hopes, like the faded paint job on his car, began to wither. His attire? Picture discount Rick Ross cosplay gone wrong. And his energy? Well, let's just say a lobotomized sloth exudes more vibrancy.

Inside the dimly lit bar, the atmosphere matched the flatness of the beer he ordered. Conversation crawled along like molasses in January, interrupted by awkward silences and the discomfort of sitting on the same side of the booth.

Then came the pièce de résistance: the garlic bread incident. My garlic bread appetizer, the sole food item I dared to order, apparently offended his financial sensibilities. "Too expensive," he huffed, his words dripping with the gravitas of a man who considers ketchup a gourmet condiment. In his world, sustenance is a luxury, not a necessity—though he himself ordered a full 16” pepperoni pizza, spaghetti with meatballs, and 3 cocktails (before you ask, no he wasn't sharing).

Things took a turn for the truly bizarre when he decided to break the ice with a rousing game of Never Have I Ever. Now, I'm all for a little playful banter, but the questions this guy was throwing out were straight out of a Kama Sutra audition. My "nevers" far outnumbered my "evers," and my cheeks burned hotter than the vodka sodas I was downing in rapid succession to numb myself from the date.

By this point, my vodka sodas were doing the heavy lifting in the "keeping me sane" department. But even its powers couldn't resurrect this date from the ashes of awkwardness. I knew this date was a sinking ship, and I wasn't about to go down with it. With a polite smile and a steely glint in my eye, I dropped the "this isn't working" bomb. Now, I'm not a fan of ghosting, but in this case, I made an exception. Leaving him with a confused expression and an untouched plate of pepperoni pizza, I ran out of the bar, garlic bread woes and all.

Here's the thing, dating is a gamble. There will be duds, there will be disasters, and there will be moments that make you question your sanity (and your choice of appetizers). The silver lining here is that these experiences, however cringe-worthy, teach us valuable lessons. So, what did I learn from this nightmare? Firstly, garlic bread is a surprisingly good test for compatibility. Secondly, never underestimate the power of a well-placed exit line.

No but seriously there are some take aways:

Lesson 1: Set Boundaries, my friends, like bouncers at the velvet rope of your sanity! Don't be afraid to walk away from a situation that doesn't feel right. Your time and energy are precious, and no amount of garlic bread (or vodka) is worth sacrificing them for a bad date.

Lesson 2: Laugh at the absurdity. Seriously, sometimes the only way to cope with dating app disasters is to find the humor in them. Share your stories with your friends, write a blog post (ahem - we do take submissions), and let the laughter wash away the awkwardness.

Lesson 3: Ghosting is an art form. If you must disappear, do it with finesse. A simple, "I didn't feel a connection" message goes a long way. Remember, karma is a garlic bread-loving boomerang, and you never know when you might need a date to appreciate your culinary choices (and questionable humor).

Lesson 4: Embrace the weird, the wonderful, and the downright bizarre. And remember, even the worst dates can offer valuable lessons (and maybe a good laugh).

So, keep swiping, keep hoping, and keep your sense of humor close. There's always a story to tell, a lesson to learn, and a plate of garlic bread to console you. Laughter is the best accessory, and remember, you're not stuck with someone who thinks Never Have I Ever is an appropriate icebreaker. Cheers to surviving the swipe right wars, one awkward encounter at a time!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a warm baguette and a box of Kraft mac and cheese.

/ Winging it, but still making it.

P.S. To Mr. Never Have I Ever, if you happen to stumble upon this and recognize yourself, know that your garlic bread price criticisms will forever be etched in my memory, along with the questionable stains on your car seat.