adultingunscriptedblog

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Beyond the Heart-Shaped Balloons: Navigating Valentine's Day with Love & Self-Care

Date Debacles & Discoveries

Valentine's Day: a day painted in hues of rose, red, and...sometimes, a tinge of bittersweet blue. Whether you're basking in the glow of a new love or navigating the single life, this day can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions. But amidst societal expectations and commercial hype, remember one thing: your healing journey is uniquely yours.

Don't get swept away by the pressure to conform. Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings, whether it's the joy of budding romance or the pang of past heartbreak. Healing isn't linear; it's a winding path with unexpected detours and moments of vulnerability. Embrace them all.

Some days, the lovey-dovey atmosphere might feel like a punch to the gut. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. But remember, love is a potent force that transcends romantic relationships. It exists in the laughter shared with friends, the warmth of family support, and even the quiet moments of self-discovery.

A remarkable woman once told me: "Find someone who loves you for you." True love embraces your flaws and quirks, not despite them, but because they make you, you. Don't settle for anything less.

Being Single is a Gift, Not a Curse:

Society might pressure you to couple up, but being single isn't a waiting room for a relationship; it's an exciting opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Ditch the self-deprecating jokes and embrace your independence. Unleash your inner explorer, reignite old hobbies, or finally take that pottery class you've been eyeing. Remember, you are whole and complete just as you are. This is your time to shine, discover, and define yourself on your own terms.

Self-Love: The Ultimate Power Move:

Amidst the external connections, don't forget the most crucial one: the one with yourself. Surround yourself with love, but prioritize self-love. Delve into your values, desires, and dreams. Self-love isn't a luxury; it's the fuel that propels you towards a fulfilling life.

Wishing Your Ex Well (Even if it Hurts):

Letting go is never easy, but holding onto resentment only hinders your own healing. Wish your ex well on their journey, even if it's just a silent thought. Forgiveness is a necessary step for growth it isn't about condoning their actions; it's about freeing yourself from the emotional burden.

Love Will Find You (When It's Ready):

Don't force it. True love thrives when you least expect it, and it definitely doesn't need a Hallmark holiday as a catalyst. Focus on building a fulfilling life you love, and the right connections will naturally blossom. Love is real, and it awaits you when the time is right, not as a replacement, but as a beautiful new chapter.

So, this Valentine's Day, ditch the dating apps, don't call your fuck buddy, fight the ex-texting temptations, and silence your inner critic. Instead, create a personalized celebration of YOU. Treat yourself to a self-care ritual, indulge in a guilty pleasure, or connect with loved ones who truly see you.

Recite these affirmations like a mantra:

I am worthy of love and respect.

My happiness is in my own hands.

I am strong, resilient, and evolving.

Love abounds in unexpected places, and I am open to it.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Embrace the love around you, nurture the love within, and know that you are loved, cherished, and deserving of all the happiness this world has to offer. Happy Valentine's Day, to you and the incredible being you are!

/ Winging it, but still making it.

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Date Debacles & Discoveries

Swipe Right Fail: The Time I Found Myself in Never Have I Ever Hell (with Garlic Bread)

The world of online dating, where swipes reign supreme, bios are battlegrounds, and first impressions often involve questionable bathroom selfies. Brace yourselves, for a tale of epic dating app proportions—a symphony of cringe so potent it could score a horror film. Welcome to the saga of Swipe Right Fail.

It all began with a match, let's call him "Garlic Bread Bandit" (more on that later). His profile pic showed promise—decent lighting, no shirtless bathroom mirror selfies, bonus points for an actual dog. We exchanged messages, chuckled at his terrible puns (okay, maybe I laughed once), and agreed to meet for dinner. But the red flags were revealed the moment he pulled up in a beat-up sedan resembling a science project gone wrong. My hopes, like the faded paint job on his car, began to wither. His attire? Picture discount Rick Ross cosplay gone wrong. And his energy? Well, let's just say a lobotomized sloth exudes more vibrancy.

Inside the dimly lit bar, the atmosphere matched the flatness of the beer he ordered. Conversation crawled along like molasses in January, interrupted by awkward silences and the discomfort of sitting on the same side of the booth.

Then came the pièce de résistance: the garlic bread incident. My garlic bread appetizer, the sole food item I dared to order, apparently offended his financial sensibilities. "Too expensive," he huffed, his words dripping with the gravitas of a man who considers ketchup a gourmet condiment. In his world, sustenance is a luxury, not a necessity—though he himself ordered a full 16” pepperoni pizza, spaghetti with meatballs, and 3 cocktails (before you ask, no he wasn't sharing).

Things took a turn for the truly bizarre when he decided to break the ice with a rousing game of Never Have I Ever. Now, I'm all for a little playful banter, but the questions this guy was throwing out were straight out of a Kama Sutra audition. My "nevers" far outnumbered my "evers," and my cheeks burned hotter than the vodka sodas I was downing in rapid succession to numb myself from the date.

By this point, my vodka sodas were doing the heavy lifting in the "keeping me sane" department. But even its powers couldn't resurrect this date from the ashes of awkwardness. I knew this date was a sinking ship, and I wasn't about to go down with it. With a polite smile and a steely glint in my eye, I dropped the "this isn't working" bomb. Now, I'm not a fan of ghosting, but in this case, I made an exception. Leaving him with a confused expression and an untouched plate of pepperoni pizza, I ran out of the bar, garlic bread woes and all.

Here's the thing, dating is a gamble. There will be duds, there will be disasters, and there will be moments that make you question your sanity (and your choice of appetizers). The silver lining here is that these experiences, however cringe-worthy, teach us valuable lessons. So, what did I learn from this nightmare? Firstly, garlic bread is a surprisingly good test for compatibility. Secondly, never underestimate the power of a well-placed exit line.

No but seriously there are some take aways:

Lesson 1: Set Boundaries, my friends, like bouncers at the velvet rope of your sanity! Don't be afraid to walk away from a situation that doesn't feel right. Your time and energy are precious, and no amount of garlic bread (or vodka) is worth sacrificing them for a bad date.

Lesson 2: Laugh at the absurdity. Seriously, sometimes the only way to cope with dating app disasters is to find the humor in them. Share your stories with your friends, write a blog post (ahem - we do take submissions), and let the laughter wash away the awkwardness.

Lesson 3: Ghosting is an art form. If you must disappear, do it with finesse. A simple, "I didn't feel a connection" message goes a long way. Remember, karma is a garlic bread-loving boomerang, and you never know when you might need a date to appreciate your culinary choices (and questionable humor).

Lesson 4: Embrace the weird, the wonderful, and the downright bizarre. And remember, even the worst dates can offer valuable lessons (and maybe a good laugh).

So, keep swiping, keep hoping, and keep your sense of humor close. There's always a story to tell, a lesson to learn, and a plate of garlic bread to console you. Laughter is the best accessory, and remember, you're not stuck with someone who thinks Never Have I Ever is an appropriate icebreaker. Cheers to surviving the swipe right wars, one awkward encounter at a time!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a warm baguette and a box of Kraft mac and cheese.

/ Winging it, but still making it.

P.S. To Mr. Never Have I Ever, if you happen to stumble upon this and recognize yourself, know that your garlic bread price criticisms will forever be etched in my memory, along with the questionable stains on your car seat.

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Growing Pains & Party Tricks

Confessions of a Career Chameleon: From HR Hell to Freelance Fun (with a Few Wrong Turns in Between)

Ever stared at your reflection in the office microwave and thought, "Is this...it? Is this all there is to adulting?" If so, welcome to the club, my fellow career chameleons! Today, I'm shedding my corporate skin and baring the colorful, slightly sticky underbelly of my job journey. Buckle up, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Confession time: I've had more jobs than there are episodes in a reality TV season. Okay, maybe not that many, but enough to earn the nickname "Career Chameleon" from my friends (and, let's be honest, my slightly concerned family). My resume reads like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. My story starts like many others: wide-eyed 18-year-old, armed with a thirst for independence and a resume cobbled together from equal parts glitter glue and wishful thinking. A bunch of quick-fire applications on Indeed, accepting the first offer that came along, and maybe a smidge of resume embellishment (hey, who doesn't love a little creative license?) landing headfirst in a world of spreadsheets, performance reviews, and enough passive-aggressive emails to fill a Stephen King novel.

Let's rewind to the land of beige cubicles and endless spreadsheets: HR. Six years of that, folks. Six. Long. Years. Don't get me wrong, I learned a ton and met some amazing people. I honed my communication skills, mastered the art of the fake smile, and could navigate office politics like a seasoned Machiavelli (minus the fancy suits and questionable morals). I waded through mountains of paperwork, soothed the existential angst of cubicle drones, and even dabbled in the dark art of recruiting (think cold-calling, but for people's livelihoods). In the long run I discovered a passion for, well, let's just say paperwork wasn't exactly setting my soul on fire. But hey, at 18, a $50k salary and a foot in the door with no degree? Sign me up! Here's the thing, though: sometimes, stability can feel like a straitjacket, and I was itching to break free.

But here's the thing: my soul was slowly shriveling up like a neglected chia pet. Every day felt like an episode of "The Office," minus the quirky charm and abundance of Dundie awards. I was a fish, gasping for air in a stagnant HR pond.

So, I did what any self-respecting career chameleon would do: I panicked, then pivoted? No, actually I followed my heart and said a lot of prayers. With a hefty dose of desperation and a lot of Google searches, I took the leap into the unknown: freelance marketing.

Was it smooth sailing? Ha! I traded spreadsheets for social media scheduling, performance reviews for client feedback (which, let's be honest, can be way harsher), and passive-aggressive emails for passive-aggressive tweets (because Twitter? Always passive-aggressive).

But you know what? I'm finally breathing. I'm using my HR skills – communication, organization, crisis management (hello, client meltdowns!) – in ways that actually feel creative and fulfilling. I'm learning new things every day, the coffee is infinitely better, and my wardrobe finally includes something other than beige cardigans.

So, my fellow career chameleons, here's the takeaway:

Don't be afraid to shed your skin. If your job makes you want to water your office cactus with your own tears, it's time to move on. There's a whole jungle of opportunities out there, and you're the most adaptable creature in it.

Your transferable skills are gold. Don't underestimate the power of what you've learned, even in those not-so-dreamy jobs. Communication, problem-solving, time management – these are universal currencies in the job market.

Embrace the messy middle. Your career path won't be a straight line to the corner office. There will be wrong turns, dead ends, and moments where you question everything. But hey, that's what makes the journey so much more interesting.

So, go forth, my fellow chameleons! Change your colors, blend in, stand out – do whatever it takes to find your own career oasis. And remember, even if you end up face-planting in a pile of freelance deadlines, at least you won't be doing it in beige.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a client to appease, a blog post to write, and a whole lot of social media scheduling to conquer. Wish me luck (and maybe send some snacks)!

/ Winging it, but still making it.

[adultingunscriptedblog]

Welcome to Adulting Unscripted:

Where Burnt Ramen Confessions and Awkward Date Wars Reign Supreme

Forget the picture-perfect feeds and the curated chaos of "adulting" you see plastered all over the internet. This ain't your mama's lifestyle blog. Here at Adulting Unscripted, we're ripping the curtain off the stage and giving you a backstage pass to the hilarious, heartfelt, and sometimes head-scratchingly real side of growing up.

We're trading avocado toast aesthetics for burnt ramen confessions at 3 AM, swapping #adulting goals for awkward date war stories, and embracing the messy magic of figuring out this whole life, love, and everything-in-between thing. Because let's be honest, adulthood is less #blessed and more, well, messy.

It's about figuring out who you are while simultaneously losing your keys (both literal and metaphorical). It's about wondering if your bank account is a long, lost spreadsheet from the budgeting gods. It's about navigating relationships that leave you equal parts butterflies and existential dread, and careers that feel more like a blindfolded game of darts than a corporate climb.

But here's the thing: in this corner of the internet, laughter and vulnerability are our weapons of choice. We'll laugh at our stumbles, cry at our setbacks, and celebrate the small victories that make this journey worthwhile. Because admitting we're lost half the time is the only way to truly find ourselves, right?

So buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to unpack the twenties, one burnt noodle and bad joke at a time. We'll be your guide, your cheerleader, and sometimes your therapist (because let's be real, adulting can be rough), all while keeping it real and relatable.

Pretending is exhausting, y'all. This is life, unfiltered. Get ready for the ride, because we'll be here, sharing the burnt noodles, the bad jokes, and all the messy magic that comes with figuring it out, together.

Because in the end, we're all just figuring it out, one burnt noodle and bad joke at a time. And hey, maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Welcome to Adulting Unscripted. Let the unscripted chaos begin!