#maybe i heart mean femmes cause i am a mean femme

[odettesoddities]

i be on here constantly gassing up my vi fic i still have yet to write and my stupid, unedited, unproofread victoria chase equestrian au fic is sitting in my drafts like:

[summers-art]

washing machine heart seems so perfect for them honestly

🎵Song #8 Washing Machine Heart by Mitski 🎵[Full playlist]

EHEHEHE THANK YOU! I knew I wanted a Mitski song on there and I'm so glad I found this one because yessss, to me it is just *chef kiss* for them. It also has a rly nice transition to #9 Supermassive Black Hole, absolutely love the beat of Washing machine heart getting all distorted in the end of the song and how it flows so well into the electrical guitar riff and rock drumbeat from Supermassive black hole with it's darker tone, HEHE very happy with that one 🫶🩷

Story wise it's a fun transition too. Like at this point they are kind of assumed to be an item, going steady or whatever people call it these days. But like the prev song, #7 Do you think we'll last forever? the seeds of "something aint right here 🤔🙁" is planted with a hint of that obsession and whirlwind of emotions. Then here there is a lot of things to unpack with Metals jealousy over Sonic and that whole identity crisis, which only gets worse in the upcoming songs.

Like, for this relationship to truly work there is a lot of issues that has to be grappled with but uh oh we haven't had the time to unpack all of that yet, so ermm... oops!!! 😅don't worry about it 💔

LYRICAL BREAK DOWN BELOW 👇

Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart Baby, bang it up inside

I've never fucking used a washing machine to clean shoes, is that like an American thing or something... idk. But it clearly reads to me like a metaphor about ones past/baggage and to just dump it onto your new partner like- Yea? Those muddy dirty shoes she's worn for so long? The shoes she's spent running around and chasing after Sonic for all those years? Toss those shoes into your washing machine heart??? I mean sure- if you insist 🩷

Also obligatory pointing at the machine lyrics for the robot. Low hanging fruit for analyzing but I have to point it out each time bc it is never not relevant. Metals chest is suppose to be a jet engine but like... it doesn't look too far off from a washing machine drum... have you heard those things as the program is close to finishing?? All the ones I've used in communal shared spaces always sounds like they are about to take off into the space. They might as well be jet engines

I'm not wearing my usual lipstick I thought maybe we would kiss tonight

The transgirl Metal agenda and propaganda continues. Congratulations on the gender girlie I'm so happy for you 🏳️‍⚧️

Idk how you use lipstick without a mouth but I believe in you. I also do prefer a more butch lesbian Metal so lipstick wouldn't be apart of her gender presentation there either buuut, I love all Metals including the femme ones. And even with my own HC I don't see it as out of the picture to present more femme at the start of a transitioning journey as part of experimenting with it before finding what feels the best :] peace and love ✌️

Baby will you kiss me already and Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart? Baby, bang it up inside

Damn girl, eager are we? Doesn't even care if it hurts or gets damaged in the process haha, what is self preservation anyway? This def makes me think about the previous song and how the obsession takes root. It would be fun to break down that one as well esp with lines like: "(Do you think we'll last forever?) / No pressure though, you just tell me, "Yes" or "No"" and "Tell me that you want me 'cause I got to admit / If you're with someone else, I don't think I could exist" like OKAY!!! This is, completely fine. Very healthy mindset. 10/10 no notes 👍 (JOKE)

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

OOP, there it is. The line that makes my brain and heart go 💥💥💥

MAN, punches the wall, I don't think Amy would ever purposefully ""replace"" Sonic with Metal Sonic. Can you even call it a rebound if I don't think she was ever really dating him to begin with, LMAO. I do think it is hilarious to pair her up with most of his rivals though like, dang Sonic look who stole your girl cause you didn't give her a chance, serves u right 😘💅

But more seriously tho I think she obviously values her friendship with Sonic a lot and wouldn't try and get back at him or use someone else to get over her crush on him. NOT INTENTIONALLY AT LEAST- (aint that a fun internal feeling of shame/guilt to be plagued with) but I can't blame Metal for having that anxiety, especially not when you are programmed to literally think you are that guy and people just decided to see your inferior copy as the real one who is so easily adored and loved and a hero like... wtf..... so fucked up (I love it) 💔

Do mi ti Why not me? Why not me?

SCREAMING. CRYING. THROWING UP- 😭😭😭OGHGOHGOH

IT IS YOU METAL!! YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED TOO FOR WHO YOU ARE- A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND SEPARATE INDIVIDUAL FROM WHAT THAT EVIL EGG INSTALLED IN YOU TO THINK YOU ARE, AUUGHGH 💥💔💥💔💥

I need Amy to shake this hunk of junk around and tell her over and over again that she loves Metal and not Sonic. And I need Metal to actually BELIEVE IT when she says that. Sniffs, sobs, this is fine. It's fine....... I am okay......................... (turns to dust) 💨

[cerulean-chanterelle]

boygirl girlboy

in the back seat of an uber, there's a spark in those ocean eyes.

and i know you shouldn't hold what the inebriated say against them,

but you told me you liked me so, so much.

and i wanted to kiss you then and there.

you like the girls who look like boys and the boys that look like girls,

and i'm not made for anyone but myself,

yet there you are. adoring, happy.

so i think i like being made for you too.

being someone you want, someone you need.

someone you want to talk with, someone you want on your skin.

and when we're under covers, we both get our chance.

i want to drown in your lips and lose myself in you,

treat you the best i can and be your fucking bitch.

but we're already there, aren't we.

i don't want you to ever feel selfish for being the centre of attention,

'cause honey you don't know how good you sound, how sweet you taste.

i'll never get bored, but i'll tell you if i ever get tired.

then again, how could i when you make such noises? when you say such wonderful things?

so put your hand on my chest and tell me it's cute how fast my heart is beating,

and i'll put mine on yours and show you just how sensitive you can be.

so let me be the woman that i am, and focus on you for hours, doing everything you like just how you like it.

and i'll always smile when you direct my hand or tell me what you want, because you know your body best, im just here to help however i can,

tongue and fingers and teeth and strap.

you don't ever have to return the favour, though when you do you do it so fucking well.

because we both need each other so bad, we can't help but be the best we can in each others' arms.

it's so, so sweet.

we both have those we know deeper, and they're sitting next to us half the time,

but that doesn't mean we can't make something that shines.

and it doesn't have to be 'serious' for me to be serious about you.

i always hated the phrase 'more than friends', because is there really anything more?

why should feelings be labeled lesser if felt just as strongly?

so i'm not sure what to call us, but calling you honey feels warm to my heart,

so i think i'll stick with it.

and part of me wants to beg forgiveness, prostrate myself before you and wish, just wish that i was a romantic in the traditional sense.

to swear that my attraction is sexual, where it's never been before,

and hell, maybe it is, and im just running without a frame of reference,

but that doesn't convince me, and i think it takes away from the ways i feel.

because the truth is i can't be normal about a few people, but never in the way im abnormal about you.

you're rent free in my mind, tap dancing through my psyche,

filling my thoughts, sending shivers through my spine,

and i can't not hear your voice, cant not smell you in my hair, even if i wanted to.

i can barely describe what i am for you, so can we leave it at dyke and kiss again?

i like you so, so much.

your touch is heavenly, your presence angelic.

and i can't help but feel embarrassed at how much i miss you, how much i need you.

so let's both be a bit weird about it (like we aren't a lot already)-

i fucking love being your butch,

and i hope you love being my femme just the same.

xoxo

[booksforevermore13]

Sunshine and Midnight Rain

Summary: When she's 25 and he's 26 and they're missing all the other's moments, they break apart, afraid of the consequence, afraid of what they'd be losing. Now, 5 years later, she wants things to be different. And he wants them too. Angst/Fluff Inspired by Taylor Swift's song, "Midnight Rain" from the Midnights album, as the title wisely said :D

...

My town was a wasteland

Full of cages, full of fences

Pageant queens and big pretenders

But for some, it was paradise

“Must you always drink this much?” Marlene muttered as she packed the bottles into a crate, frowning at a half-sleeping Ginny.

“Yeah,” the latter replied sarcastically, before getting up much hesitantly to help her team-mate, cum best-friend. “I never asked you to help out, you know,” Ginny continued snidely, and Marlene, as though appearing enraged, smacked her on the side of her arm.

“I’ll leave them, will I?” 

“I never asked you to do that, either,” Ginny smirked. “And that,” she rubbed her arm tenderly, “was uncalled for.”

It was much justified,” Marlene replied curtly. “How a girl can spend her 30th birthday drinking her way to unconsciousness, I can never understand.”

Ginny stayed silent, and Marlene grabbed her arm, forcing her to look up at her.

“Really, Ginevra, all of us thought we’d go out yesterday, have some food, get our game on, the lot. And here I am today, cleaning up bottles because you spent the entire night drinking yourself to insanity.” Marlene shook her head in disappointment, then wrinkled her nose. “And what even is this?” she exclaimed, bringing a half-finished bottle up to her nose. “This can’t be normal whisky, can it?”

Ginny smirked, grabbing the bottle from her. “It’s not whisky. It’s vodka.”

“Vod-what?”

“Muggle alcohol. It works best.”

“For drowning out your miseries? Really, Ginny-”

Ginny shook her head, silencing Marlene. “Every time we go out, the news gets us on the front page. And by us, I mean me.” She got up, crate in hand. “ ‘Quidditch Star Ginny Weasley, now a professional drunkard.’”

She scoffed, then continued, “Last time we were out, the paper got a picture of me and that freaking bartender, and somehow made it seem as if I was seducing him with my exceptional ‘femme fatale’ skills.”

Marlene got up, then looked at Ginny. “And is that all?”

“Huh?”

“Is that all, Ginny?” Marlene said, with an accusing voice. “Are you really telling me that the tabloids are the reason you didn’t go out with us last night? The reason you haven’t left your house for anything other than quidditch for the last year?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, I think you do. Because I know for a fact, that this,” Marlene gestured at the stray-away bottles in Ginny’s house, “has very little to do with your image in the news.”

Ginny looked away, then walked past Marlene to deposit the heavy crate beside the door. The lights in her house flickered, Ginny realising it had been too long since she had had anybody over to look at the muggle powered lights in her house.

“How long is it going to take for you to get over him?” Marlene pressed on, and Ginny looked over at her angrily.

“Don’t say another word.”

“Is it going to take you destroying yourself to get over a boy?”

“Get out, Marlene,” Ginny snapped.

Marlene looked at her straight in the eyes, then sighed, picking up the bag, and walking towards Ginny. Then, without saying a word, she picked up the crate of bottles, and Apparated.

Ginny gulped, then looked up at the flickering lights of the house.

Maybe it would.

Keep reading

…

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

FIVE YEARS AGO

It had been a wonderful match. In fact, one of the best in years. The Harpies had won by a fair number of points, and though the Seeker had done a marvelous job in catching the Snitch, it had been the Chasers who had stolen the show. It had also been Ginny’s first time in the finals of the World Cup. The first one was always the one which kickstarted the player’s career, and she had definitely proved her mettle on the field there. 

And though they had a lot of work to do, talking to the reporters, getting ready to hoist the cup, Ginny couldn’t wait to tell Harry. 

She’d missed some of his floo messages in the last few days. Between the tension of the match, and Gwenog’s continuous badgering, she had completely forgotten to floo back.

But now, she wanted nothing more than to talk to him.

Ginny pulled off her gloves, passing them off to Marlene before she rushed off into the changing room. 

She was breathless when she started the Floo Network, a huge smile on her face as she waited for Harry to show up. Nearly giddy with excitement, she beamed as Harry, or rather, his image showed up in front of her.

Even from the get-go, she knew something had gone wrong.

“We won!” she grinned in glee and Harry smiled back at her, his green eyes sparkling through the floo network. 

“I knew you would,” he replied. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you.”

“That’s alright,” Ginny said. “You had a mission.”

Harry nodded, and Ginny held her breath, waiting for him to say something else. 

Something had gone wrong. 

“What’s…what's wrong, Harry?” Ginny asked, heart hammering in her chest. In mere minutes, the excitement had dulled down, replaced with nervous-ness.

“Nothing’s wrong, Ginny. I’m just extremely happy for you,” Harry smiled back at her, but even his smile looked strained.

“Don’t do that Harry, just tell me what’s wrong,” Ginny urged, wishing she could reach through the Floo and touch him.

Harry sighed, then looked back at her, his eyes betraying the pain he was in. “The mission,” he relented. “It went horribly wrong.”

Ginny’s heart stilled.

“Some of our team,” Harry’s voice wavered, “died in the cross-fire. It was unexpected, and we received the brunt of it.” 

She could have lost him, Ginny realised.

She could have never seen him again. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine Gin,” Harry paused, and Ginny felt relief flood through her.

But it was the hesitation in his voice that told her what was to come. “Gin, there are the….funerals. I don’t think I’ll -”

“You won’t be able to come,” Ginny finished.

Her heart squeezed painfully, and she forcefully fought the lump in her throat. 

“That’s okay,” she said. “That’s absolutely fine, Harry.” Ginny said breathlessly. “In fact, I’ll apparate back. The match is over. I can come back now.”

“No, Gin, please. You don’t have to do that. You’ve worked for this for seven years-”

“And I’ve done it, Harry -”

“No.” Harry said, finality in his tone. Ginny gulped, blinking back tears. She could hear her teammates' excited chatter get closer, and it seemed Harry could too.

“I should go,” Harry said. Ginny stayed silent, as he smiled at her one last time before vanishing.

Gwenog burst in, a triumphant look on her face. Behind her, Marlene and Wilda bounded in, stopping in their tracks as they saw Ginny’s expression.

“Your boy's coming?” Gwenog asked, and Ginny’s throat clogged.

“No. He isn’t.”

…

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

He was waiting for her at the Apparatus Terminal when she opened her eyes. A big smile on his face, sparkling green eyes. Ginny burst into a smile, as she bounded over to him, jumping into his arms.

Harry laughed as the flowers in his hand fell on the ground, and Ginny kissed him. He’d missed her. But what was more, he’d regretted that he’d missed her match. Even more so because he knew how hard she had worked for it. Day in and day out on the Quidditch field, coming back home absolutely knackered, going back the next day again.

She didn’t deserve what had happened nearly a week ago.

When they let go of each other, Ginny kissed him, and Harry smiled against her lips, cherishing the feel of them. 

He’d half thought he’d never feel them again.

“Are you okay?” Ginny asked, as they broke apart.

“I’m absolutely fine.” He didn’t like how his mission had taken over her game. He didn’t want that.

After that floo had ended, he’d sworn he’d never let that happen again. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he said softly, looking into her brown eyes, as they looked back worriedly.

But then they transformed, and a smile replaced them.

Oh, how he loved that smile.

“Let’s go home.”

Ginny smiled, silent as she slipped her hand into his and they Apparated.

...

It was when he was opening the door to their house did Ginny ask about the mission.

Harry looked away then.

He had been dreading the conversation. 

“It was a couple of rogue Death-Eaters. We found them hidden in the outskirts of a Muggle town,” he said. “I’m pretty sure they would have willingly handed themselves over, if -” Harry wavered, looking away from Ginny as she rubbed his forearm comfortingly. “If I hadn’t been there.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, and she cupped his neck, bringing her closer to him. “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered, and Harry closed his eyes as she rested her forehead against his.

 This. This was it. This was what he’d been craving since days. It was pathetic for him, but he had needed this reassurance. That this-this wasn’t his fault.

Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny, and then looked at her. “I’m so sorry I missed the final. I swear… it won’t ever happen again.”

“It is absolutely fine,” Ginny enunciated her words.

“It isn’t, but I’ll make sure it won’t ever happen again.” 

It wouldn’t, and he’d made sure of that.

But it didn’t seem to get the response he was looking over. Now that they were in their house, the house that they had found together, Ginny pulled away from him, expecting an answer.

“What do you mean?”

“I asked Kingsley to reduce my workload. There won’t be as many missions as before, and he wasn’t very happy about it, I’m sure, but you have been there for every single important moment of mine, and I haven’t been in -”

“No, Harry,” Ginny interrupted. “You can’t possibly do that.”

Harry looked at her in confusion. He’d expected her to be elated, but it seemed the opposite had happened.

“This is your career that you’re talking about,” Ginny said. “You can’t possibly be throwing away all of that for me.”

“I’m not. Gin, I’m just going to go on fewer missions -”

“But missions are what you love. Fighting on the frontlines is what you chose to do,” Ginny cried.

Above them, the lights flickered, a momentary lapse in power. 

“Gin, being with you is also what I chose. And I am happy with this. With you. Maybe in a few years, we can think about settling down. Merlin knows, that would be something a long time coming.”

Harry cupped Ginny’s face, trying to understand the conflicted look on her face.

“I swear, everything’s going to be alright.”

And as Ginny rested her head on his chest, Harry couldn’t help but wonder if what he had said was true.

…

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect, shiny family

Holiday, peppermint candy

But for him it's every day

TODAY'S TIME

Three days till Christmas.

Ginny knew, if she didn’t leave now, she wouldn’t ever find the courage to go home in time for it.

She looked up at the still flickering lights in her house. If her mum found out about the way she was living, she’d be horrified. Hell, Ginny herself seemed horrified herself most days.e

Half-finished bottles of whisky near the basin, her clothes lying all over the house, most of them unwashed, and food? She had resorted to eating mostly at pubs, or over at Marlene’s.

Normally, she’d be looking forward to Christmas. But, somehow, this year, she just couldn’t find the will to go to the Burrow and put up that mask of hers, the one where she was happier than most days.

He’d be there too.

Ginny closed her eyes, using her wand to create sparks of golden glitter over her, that disappeared before they fell over her.

She’d known things were going to fall apart the day he’d opted out of that mission. And Tomas had died. 

She’d seen his face when Kingsley’s patronus had appeared in the room. Seen his expression.

Ginny gulped down the lump in her throat, taking in a few deep breaths, before clicking her tongue and getting up from the couch.

She couldn’t afford to do this.

She got up, waving her wand to get herself dressed, before picking up her rucksack and heading out the door.

An hour later, she had apparated right in front of the door. Even while outside, she could hear the chatter inside the house. Ron’s voice, her mum yelling. Someone laughing.

Even unconsciously, she felt a smile across her face.

He’d be there, but it’d be okay. It would.

Taking a breath, she muttered the spell Bill had set on the door and walked right in.

Almost instantly, an uproar started. 

“Ginevra,” her mom cried out, followed by a chorus of Ginnys, and a lot of footsteps running towards her. The first one was her mum. 

Ginny laughed as she was wrapped up in a hug by the shorter woman.

“You’re eleven days late,” her mum was yelling away, and for a second, Ginny just buried her nose in her shoulder, taking in the smell of home. After being promoted to Captain, and Gwenog leaving, a different arena of responsibilities had fallen on her shoulder, and Ginny had struggled throughout the past year, trying to keep the Holyhead Harpies up. She had succeeded, to an extent, but not without being under the scrutiny of the entire Wizarding World, and of course, herself.

But now, after nearly 17 months, she was home again.

The second her mum left her, she was brought into a hug by her Dad and Bill, and then the rest of her brothers followed, each of them ruffling her hair, though she gave Ron a much deserved glare as he went to do so.

“How’s the baby?” she asked Hermione, as Fleur kissed her cheek. 

“Rough. She’s started kicking, but it’s not as bad as it had been a few days ago.”

“All babies are like that, my love," Fleur reassured. "I remember, Dominique nearly broke me by all her moving.”

The three women laughed, and Ginny’s eyes travelled among the crowd, as they slowly landed on him.

He was looking right at her. 

It had been ages since she had seen those green eyes.

Ginny lowered her eyes in embarrassment, as she felt everybody slowly scurrying out of the room, The fire crackled in the distance as Ginny spared a smile.

“Hey, Harry,” she said softly.

“Hi there, Gin,” his voice ringed in her ears and Ginny couldn’t help but reel at the name he had called her, the name that seemed right only on his lips. His eyes were still as green as ever, but right now, in the soft light of the fireplace, they seemed golden.

His eyes travelled across her face, and Ginny shuffled uncomfortably as his eyebrows furrowed. “How’s everything going?”

“Good, good,” he said. 

Ginny nodded. How long had it been since she’d seen him last? Two years? Three? All she remembered was that the last time they had met, she’d been so utterly devastated, that she had retreated to the closures of her house, and not come out for nearly a week, before Gwenog and Marlene dragged her out.

She didn’t even think she deserved to pine after him. Not when she had been the one to end things. 

Irony, she’d fallen in love first, and she’d been the first one to let go.

But right now, him in front of her, she couldn’t help but think that only if they had tried harder, if she’d just held on longer, then this wouldn’t be it. This wouldn’t be the life she’d be leading. One submerged in loneliness, one where her job had become her one and only ultimatum in life.

She could have had a different life with him. A different world.

It was too late to think like that. And it seemed pretty pathetic on her part.

Ginny snapped out of her reverie as Harry called out her name. 

“Yeah,” she answered breathlessly. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” she repeated. “Completely fine.”

…

So I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

She couldn’t sleep. It was torture, because she was exhausted. She had nearly dozed off during dinner, before being sent up to bed by her mother. It took her back to her younger days. When sleep came easy. 

It seemed the moment she landed on her bed, all her sleep vanished in an instant.

Frustrated, she slipped out of bed, carefully, without noise, climbing her way down the stairs. If she had been back at home, she would promptly take a sleep potion, and that would have made things easier. Here, not so much.

Ginny paused by the Christmas tree as she was making her way out the door. After Victoire and Dominique had learned how to walk, they’d resorted to tying the ornaments on the top portion of the tree, out of their reach and even after they had grown up, things had remained that way. Ginny smiled, reaching above her to touch a small toy horse that her dad had whittled for her when she'd been three.

Her younger self had been absolutely elated.

Thankfully, that feeling hadn't changed.

Ginny drew in a breath, before slowly creeping out of the house.

She stopped when she entered the backyard.

Harry.

Ginny gulped, slowly backing away, her steps quickeing as Harry turned his head. 

“Ginny, hey.”

She cursed under her breath, then called out to him, the wind carrying her words to him. “I’m sorry, I was leaving-”

“You don’t have to do that.”

Ginny paused yet again, as Harry continued. “I was only leaving, so you can stay -”

“You don’t have to leave because of me,” Ginny stated. “I’ll join you, if that’s okay.”

Harry nodded, then stepped aside to make room for her beside the pumpkin patch, as Ginny walked towards him. 

After the Burrow had gone up in Flames all those years ago, they'd worked hard to rebuild it. She couldn't say that it was better than before. But the view from the backyard was absolutely undeniable.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” she asked as she reached the patio, a small smile on her face.

“When have I been able to?” Harry scoffed.

Ginny frowned, then, as if by habit, she asked. “How long has it been since you last slept?”

“Truthfully, um...last night. Ron and I went out for drinks, and I had a good too many, before I passed out. Woke up right before your mum called us for lunch.”

Ginny laughed, and felt Harry look at her. Under the moonlight, and even with the shadows falling on his face, his eyes shone like the light of day.

The silence between them was welcomed.

“How are things, really?” Harry asked her.

“Rough,” Ginny admitted. “Turns out, being a captain is not all that they tell you.”

“You’ve done a marvelous job though,” Harry replied. “The Harpies have had the most number of victories since the Magpies in the last decade.”

So, he had been keeping track of her. Ginny couldn’t help but smile at that.

“How’s things looking in the Ministry?”

“As they are,” Harry replied, as if by habit. But then, as if thinking over his answer twice, he continued. “Kingsley has things mostly under control, but they tend to get out of hand once or twice.”

Ginny nodded, looking out at the lake glistening in the moonlight. She wondered what to ask next. What do you ask someone who’s heart you had broken not even five years ago?

She cleared her throat, then turned towards Harry. “Anybody you’re, umm…with, nowadays?”

Harry turned to her, his arms hanging effortlessly on the railing. His eyes stood fixed on her face for a few seconds, before answering.

“Do you think so?”

“Uhm..” Ginny cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“It means no, Gin,” Harry shook his head. “It means I’m not dating anybody.”

“Oh.” Ginny nodded, then turned towards the railing again. 

And yet again, they fell into a deafening silence, a silence different that others, the silence that seemed to suffocate her into the same hole she’d led herself to five years ago.

“Would we have worked out if Tomas hadn’t died?” Harry asked suddenly, his voice breaking through the mist and Ginny felt a chill travel through her spine.

She turned towards Harry, her eyes blazing. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Gin.”

“Are you really asking me that, Harry?”

“Yes,” his voice strained. “I am. Because I have thought about all the things that happened over and over in my head, and I still can’t believe what I did wrong.”

“You did nothing wrong, Harry,” Ginny cried out. How could he think he had done anything wrong when it was her that was the problem? 

“Then, tell me, Gin. Speak to me. Tell me what happened that led us to being this way.”

“I don’t know Harry,” Ginny cried out. “You were ready to give up everything just for us, for me, and you think I could have taken it as it is?”

“What was I going to give up?”

“Really, Harry?” Ginny said, agitated. “Because Tomas died, I was able to see how it affected you. How you opting out of missions affected you. He died, and it seemed that you took it all on you.”

Harry shook his head, denying, but Ginny continued.

“You think I don’t know you Harry? The minute that Patronus appeared, you were completely crushed because somehow, you thought that if you had just gone on that mission, he would have lived.”

“That isn't fair. I chose that," Harry said, his voice brimming with something she couldn't recognize. "How many times had it been since we'd had one waking moment with each other? You think I didn't notice the way you hurt with all the times I left you standing with overtime missions and duties?"

"I would have rather you do that than sacrifice doing what you love to be with me."

"That isn't fair."

“It isn’t. My career, it would have led me to be away nine months out of twelve. Yours, the other three. Me sacrificing my career would have led me to destroy myself. You sacrificing it nearly destroyed you.” “And I know,” Ginny’s voice turned heavy, “that maybe if I had bargained with Gwenog, asked her to keep me out of a few matches, then maybe we could have worked something out, but I - “ her voice cracked. “I don’t know why I didn’t do that.”

“You shouldn’t have had to,” Harry said quietly. Ginny couldn't hear the anger within them anymore. He stepped closer to her and raised his hand, his thumb brushing off a stray tear. And just when he was preparing to leave, he paused, and then lightly pressed his lips on Ginny’s forehead.

Ginny closed her eyes, and when she opened them back again after a few minutes, he was gone.

…

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

“Did he say when he’ll come back?” Teddy asked Ginny for the third time, and Ginny closed her eyes, her mind straying to the night before the last for what may have been the fiftieth time. Her heart clenched as she shook her head.

“No, Ted, he didn’t tell me anything.”

Teddy frowned, as his hair turned a grimmer shade of blue.

“But it’s Christmas Eve,” Teddy whined. Bill looked at Ginny sadly, and then whispered slightly.

“You want me to take him off your arms?” Bill whispered.

“That’s alright. I could do with the company anyway,” Ginny smiled. 

With Victoire and Dominique off with their mother and Hermione, Teddy had been rendered horribly alone. Especially when he missed a certain young blonde. 

“Then do you mind if I pop out with the guys for a-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ginny waved him off and Bill pecked her cheek gently, ruffling Teddy’s hair before leaving.

Ginny watched as Teddy messed around with a few trinkets, probably from Zonko’s and then rested her head back on the couch. She shut her eyes, blocking out everything around her.

Harry had not been back since that night. He had floo-ed in, so that no one would worry, but everyone knew. Bill and Ron had been especially protective, making sure Ginny didn’t run off too somewhere. 

The fire crackled, the heat from it not nearly enough to warm Ginny. She shivered, and as Teddy noticed, he got up, bringing over a blanket for Ginny.

“Thanks,” Ginny smiled as Teddy made herself comfortable beside her.

“I don’t like that the both of you are always so sad during Christmas,” Teddy muttered, and Ginny looked at him in surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

“You and Harry,” Teddy motioned with his eyebrows, “you know, all that drama.”

Ginny raised an eyebrow, and Teddy huffed. “I’m not a child, you know.”

Somehow, that seemed funny to Ginny, the way he sounded so much like Harry. Her heart clenched as she thought about him, and she shuffled to get warmer.

“Are you still cold?” Teddy asked and Ginny shook her head. 

“I’m good.”

Teddy nodded, sinking into deep thought, and Ginny watched as his hair changed into green and then turquoise before turning back into blue. She smiled sadly, her thoughts turning to his mother.

“He still loves you a lot,” Teddy stated suddenly. “More than a lot actually.”

And yet again, Ginny was rendered speechless. Teddy looked at Ginny, and then winced. “I don’t think I was supposed to say that.”

Ginny chuckled weakly, then closed her eyes, reeling from what he’d just said.

“Do you love him?”

Her eyes snapped back open.

“Huh?”

“Do you love him?” Teddy asked again.

“Yeah,” Ginny admitted, albeit breathlessly. “I do. Of course I do. More than I know.”

Teddy nodded, and then, with a triumphant smile on his face, muttered under his breath.

“I knew it.”

…

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight rain.

She watched with bated breath, as the train that would take her to the Apparating Station arrived on the platform. Not a lot had happened since Christmas Eve, but it seemed a long way away now, even though it had been only a week. 

Christmas had not even started fully, that the Quidditch Authorities had sent an official letter to all Quidditch Captains and Managers to report to Ireland, or the official Management Quarters with their entire team roster, and details. Apparently, some of them had been using broom enhancement potions in secret to win matches, and now the Authority wanted to review everybody’s position in the roster.

It was bollocks, Ginny had thought personally. The fact that this had happened on Christmas too hadn’t helped matters, and she had chewed off the wizard who had met with her at the Department. It had only led to a stricter review of her team members, but to no avail, as it returned absolutely spotless.

And very well so too. Her team was as good as they came, she had thought angrily.

Now that she was back in London, all she had to do was get on the train and reach the Apparating Station so that she could get back home and sleep. 

Merlin knows, she needed that.

As she got up on the train, Ginny thought back to her conversation with Teddy. How a conversation with a teenager wanted to make her try things again, she had no idea, but for a moment there, she had wanted to. 

And perhaps, she would have too, when Harry got back. But, that clearly hadn’t happened, and now as she rested her head on her seat bench, opposite to a sleeping Muggle lady, she let herself think what hurt her to the core.

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Ginny closed her eyes, letting the train lull her into a sleep.

…

It hadn’t even been half an hour when the train screeched to a stop. Ginny jerked awake, wiping at some stray drool at the corner of her mouth. She smiled briefly at the lady opposite to her, before she hurried out of the train. 

It was when she stepped on the platform that she allowed herself to look at her overly-familiar surroundings. After spending nearly her entire life in London, she had grown to become accustomed to it, and now, as her eyes scanned over the crowd filled with Muggles and Wizards, her eyes landed over a pair that were too familiar to be true.

Ginny blinked, then looked away to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. 

But no, there was no denying it.

It was him.

“Harry,” she said breathlessly, as they both started walking towards each other at the same time.

“Hey, Gin,” he smiled, and Ginny chuckled in surprise. 

“Were you waiting for me?”

His eyes told her whatever she wanted to know, so she nodded, avoiding his eyes.

“Uhmm…my house, we can just apparate there from here,” she said, as Harry nodded. “We can go there and talk.”

Ginny felt her heart hammering against her chest, as she motioned him towards the Apartment Compartment, which was basically an Old London telephone booth now.

Without saying a word, Ginny gripped his sleeve, as they both Apparated right in front of their house.

“Come on then,” she said, as she tapped her wand three times against the door to open it. 

Harry followed her wordless, and it was not before the door had closed behind them did Ginny utter a word.

“The house is messy, but don’t mind it,” she stated blankly. Then, after mulling it over her head, she hesitantly started, “What do you want to talk about?”

Harry looked straight at her as he started speaking. “Teddy told me,” he stated.

Ginny swallowed, and then looked away from him, afraid to glance into his eyes. Her heart hammered painfully in her chest.

“I thought it would only be right if it was me who told you what my nosy grandson did.”

Ginny chuckled drily, and then looked at Harry, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Harry,” she warned.

“What, Ginny?” he said, as he took a step closer to her. “Am I supposed to deny what Ted told you? Because I can’t do that. Not when every word he said was true.”

“Harry,” Ginny’s voice broke, as Harry stepped even closer. But even with her denial of what was happening at the moment, she couldn’t step back.

“I love you, Gin,” Harry said softly. “Merlin knows, I have loved you since that day in the Common Room, even before that and I don’t think that there is any way or any thing in this world that would stop me from doing so.”

“Harry -”

“No, hear me out, Gin. Please,” Harry begged. “We know all too well that every word you said that night was true, but somehow, I can’t quite comprehend it. Let’s try this, Gin. Let’s try this one more time, because I don’t think I could settle with the world if we didn’t try again.”

Ginny looked up at him, the gap between them becoming increasingly smaller as she stepped closer. Her fingers wrapped around his, as she closed her eyes. She’d spent five years thinking and thinking and thinking yet again about all of this. And she’d decided, that back then, when they had been younger and the world had seemed a bit more conquerable, they had not known what they probably knew all too well now.

That they couldn’t live without each other.

That Ginny couldn’t live without Harry.

“If you don’t want this Gin, tell me now, and I swear to Merlin, I’ll never bring this up again -”

“No,” Ginny said, her voice strong. She cracked a teary smile, and then let her fingers intertwine with his. “I want this, Harry. I want it too.”

She drew in a breath, and then repeated her thoughts, loud and clear. “This time, it’s just going to be you and me against the world Potter. Just us. And nobody else.”

Her voice wobbled, as her eyes filled with tears. She didn't think she'd survive if she lost this man again, and though she was stepping into hellfire at the moment, she hoped it would be worth it.

And as Harry looked at her with those clear green eyes, as he brought her face closer and captured her lips in a kiss, she let herself be drowned in that bliss she'd denied herself for so many years. And after years of being apart, those lips felt like home.

Just them against the world.

And as they pulled apart, and Ginny looked into the eyes of the man she had loved and missed for so long, a smile broke on her face, a bright smile; a smile that she herself had missed for so long.

“Remind me to thank Teddy for this,” she chuckled, and Harry joined her, leaning their foreheads against each other, his arms around her waist, hers around his.

“I will,” he said, finally. 

And Ginny laughed.

[kiillerqueen]

Declan knows that only moments before he had been furious with the actions of Violet , but that had been before he knew that his sister had her hand deep down into being the cause of it. The male stood there still holding onto the femme as he listened to her speak. ❝ Maybe it isn't my fault completely , however that doesn't change the fact that I should have done a better job at hiding the possibility of being happy because of someone. As for Amelia I will take care of her whether it is now or down the road. I'm not my old man , nor will I ever be. So with that being said she is not going to be able to get away with everything like she does now. I can promise you that she will get what is coming for her one way or another. ❞ Yes Amelia is and will always be his sister , but Declan has grown tired of having his sister meddling in things that she had no business in. Declan could handle the cruelty of his sister but he knew that Violet shouldn't expected to because of whatever reason Amelia felt like she needed to be. ❝ I can tell you with confidence that my father knows nothing about anything that has been happening between the two of us. So you're just suggesting that I let Amelia off with thinking that she wins? I need to at least say something to her or else I am going to bottle it up and explode at someone I shouldn't. ❞ Declan had seen first hand what it was like to do such a thing and he didn't want to be like his sister in that way. ❝ I don't think your wrong about something being schemed between the two. I mean he didn't come out completely and ask me for information when we got together but he definitely was hoping I'd slip up. If Amelia knows about us than he definitely knows now , which means he knows I lied about not being with someone ... ❞

He knew there was going to be possibly some explaining to do the next time the two males wound up seeing each other. Amelia sure knew how to fuck plans over easily. ❝ I think you're the only person that sees it that way , because I know everyone is going to use that factor against me. I'm not the cruel man that my father is and everyone knows it. ❞ Declan constantly heard it from his father how he needed to man up and start using his head instead of allowing his heart to get the better of him or else he'd end up dead the next time that he got shot. The thing is Declan isn't sure that he is capable of living up to exactly the man that his old man wants him to be , but Violet gave him a reason to believe that it wasn't a terrible thing that he was kind hearted. Declan listens to Violet's words carefully , coming as a relief to know that she has changed her mind from wanting to be completely done to there still be a possibility of being together. ❝ Of course I will come back for you , is that even a question? Our biggest problem is going to be the fact that my father is actively seeking a wife , and I don't know exactly how to get out of that. It is the fine stone that needs to be in place before he gives me everything he has worked for. You can't possibly be suggesting I go through with it? ❞ Declan only wants to make sure that he is understanding the words completely of the femme. It would be different once Declan took over he'd be able to do whatever it was he wanted. ❝ Maybe I can find a way of convincing him an engagement is enough for him to be able to trust handing it over to me , and once I have it than I can call it off ... ❞

Continued || @thewcllingtons

[bledyn]

[excerpt from my diary]

[...]

first of all let's start with labels: they/she for me, just accepted that I'm trans and probably demigirl (I'm a woman but not always and often I just want to be as androgynous as possible), I'm asexual and maybe on the aro spectrum cause non platonic relationship are not really for me but I would love to be part of a qpr, my libido fluctuates and is usually non-existent except when it hits me like a freight train and I just wish someone would fuck me till I scream, I'm a lesbian or at least omoromantic, polyamorous and monogamous, I'm attracted (as much as what I feel could be considered attraction) mostly to women, butch more than femme but it depends, cis man are a total no go, but I could easily find myself attracted to a non binary or trans person (it wouldn't matter whether they had a cock or a pussy), no idea why tho.

Probably too many labels but it comforts me having this proof of belonging to a community of people with similiar experiences and feeling to mine, it validates me in a way that makes it impossible to feel like I'm exaggerating and maybe what I feel is not real.

[...]

I'm not attracted to other people in a "normal" way, but I'm not sex adverse; sex just means something different to me and it's just another way to show care and affection [...] the thought of pleasing someone that way, making them feel good and showing them how much I care about them? that does it for me, not sex.

[...]

Said that, sex for me is just part of intimacy and nothing, nothing at all that I do is a sexual innuendo or done with that goal in mind. I could sit naked on someone's lap and that would probably have no sexual subtext behind it at all. i don't actually want to be in a relationship, they're not for me, i just want to be surrounded by friends that I can trust, I'm comfortable with, which I have totally platonic relationships with, and even if we love each other there is no romantic feeling at all and we are all aware of that. i want friends with which I can cuddle on the couch, giving each other chast kisses or petting each other or just holding each other; i want to be able to ask them if they could please come to the bathroom with me and wash my hair cause I want to feel taken care of. i want friends that feel like they could come up to me and just ask me to take care of them please, even if this means sex, and know that at the end of things this is still all platonic; i want to have sex with them and just cuddle after and talk about things like friends do, with no romantic feelings hovering over us.

fuck i want to have people like that in my life

i want to have a bunch of qprs, with or w/o sex in the middle, and know i am loved.

i want to be loved so much, i want to be held and caressed, i want to be kissed on the forehead, have their fingers card through my hair; my head on someone's lap and my legs on someone else's, live with so many people and sleep - just sleep - with all of them, and just feel loved and taken care of and know that the other will feel the same feelings I do and nothing more, and just be a family.

this knowledge sometimes destroys me tho; i want this, i want this so much, i desire it with all myself, and it seems so fucking impossible to find someone like this, and certainly not a whole bunch of people.

and i hurt, because i know that if I tried and the other person ended up seeing my actions as not platonic, this would totally kill me.

and I don't know how to go on now, how to find my people, or ask for this kind of stuff, and this steals my breath away

fuck

why is it so fucking difficult to live like I wish to? why is it so fucking hard being loved like I want to, in the platonic way i long for?

i feel like someone split my ribs open and is crushing my heart and my lungs

it hurts so fucking much god

[while carving my soul on paper I listened to "the other side of paradise" and "poplar st" by glass animals]

[qqueenofhades]

did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

[kiillerqueen]

❝ Yes , she is some kind of nurse or something at the at the Wellington Manor. That is how she met Declan. You remember that time when he was being a dumbass and not being careful when doing a job for my father? Well she is the one that went against their wishes and still saved him. Some fucked up way the two somehow fell in love from that. I know had disgusting right? ❞ Amelia couldn't understand how it had seemed so easy for Declan to fall in love with a nobody like Violet so quickly. ❝ I don't know maybe he did hurt her if there was something there , but it doesn't mean that he is going to do the same to me ... ❞ At least that is all that Amelia could hope for. She had already put herself back together more times than she could count , and she really could only hope that Mason wouldn't give her a reason to do it again. ❝ Do you believe that he is going to hurt me? ❞ Amelia knew she needed to hear her best friend's honest thoughts. Knowing that Gwen would never hold back even if it meant that it could possibly hurt. ❝ I didn't see her cry but I am pretty convinced that when she left she went back to whatever room she has and cried. ❞ The blonde would be shocked if Violet hadn't shedded after their conversation. ❝ Truthfully I wouldn't be incredibly shocked if my father is trying to set my brother up with terrible women. However I think I would have much preferred one of them over Violet any day. I don't even want to think about what it could have possibly been like to have to share a last name with her. ❞ Amelia had a look of disgust on her face at the idea of her brother marrying Violet. The femme hadn't taken Gwen's words to heart about insulting her father's taste in women even though she does agree with in minus her mother of course. Knowing that her best friend also wasn't referring to her. ❝ Truthfully I have no idea why he not only made Gabriel my date but he originally disinvited Mason to the wedding. I had to make a deal with my father that I'd go with Gabriel and cause no scene , but of course you know that isn't going be the case. They both know that we're together. Mason even said that Gabriel went on that he thinks that we're going to get back together. ❞ Amelia finds herself rolling her eyes in annoyance at the idea of Gabriel saying such words. ❝ Of course I haven't told Mason about him staying at our place. I am pretty convinced that he is under the impression that I'm cheating on him. Like I said I have to play it nice with Gabriel until the wedding is over or there is no Mason at the wedding ... I am sure Lincoln would get great pleasure out of it. ❞

❝ She works!? ❞ her tone reflecting the digust at the idea of wasting their energy and effort for money. That's what men were for, in her mind, they were there to do the dirty works so she could relax. ❝ Where was she working anyways? McDonald's or something? ❞ It's the only occupation that came to her mind for some reason. ❝ Well if she seems to have real hate for him, maybe she knows something you don't. Look. I'm not trying to defend her or anything, but all you do is complain about Mason making your life complicated. That's not what a boyfriend is supposed to do. ❞ Gwen knew her boyfriend did his best to act like he wasn't the lovey dovey type in any way, so she wasn't about to blow his cover. Amelia would likely gag if she saw the way Lincoln acted with her when they were alone. ❝ —Did you make her cry? ❞ Gwen couldn't help the smile on her face at the thought of bullying the femme that she hadn't met before.

A laugh escaped her at the visual imagine. She hadn't see her brother sulk before, but she could easily see how miserable he would be about the whole ordeal. ❝ Maybe your dad is picking shitty girls. You dad has a horrible taste in women— I mean, with your family name, I'm surprised they're not all over him. ❞ Gwen obviously didn't mean Amelia's mother; she meant the other dozen of girlfriends/serial marriages the man had. The only thing she liked about his constant weddings was the excuse to get dressed up and the free bar. ❝ Gabriel as your date?! Why not Mason? He does know you two are together, right? ❞ It wouldn't surprise her if they dated in secret considering they were supposed to have a professional relationship. Whatever that meant. ❝I'm guessing you didn't tell Mason he's been stay over your place... Why don't you just tell him to kick rocks. If you want, I can tell Lincoln, and he can just deal with it for you. He owes you at least that much for getting us together. ❞

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[gangrenados]

U know sometimes i see dick grayson being the personification of a gentleman always caring and all, but also I see him being kinda neglecting towards his s/o feelings? Like i totally see him cheating on her without guilt (unless his s/o finds out. Then the reality would kick him up) idk what u think?

Dude you kind of broke my heart cuz he's my baby but at the same time I like your ideas

I got inspired with this is so this is kinda long 😅

•Dick is a sweetheart, everything you have fantasized in a boyfriend: he's sweet, caring, protective, funny, smart and plus! He's pretty handsome.

I kind of agree with you (and it hurts me to do it) but I see him doing it by mistake. Let me do a hc to prove my point..

•He's always checking up on you, making sure you're safe and loved. He won't hesitate to let you have his coat if you're cold or staying with you if you're feeling sad or scared.

•Although Dick can be egoistic without noting. He's too busy to slow down and a be with you, although he would like it he feels that he is turning his back on the city or the team.

•It would go to a point where he won't go to bed with you and even sometimes you would wake up alone, then he wouldn't answer your calls (sometimes because he thinks that some criminal can track you or because he didn't notice you were calling in the first place) and then you wouldn't even see him like you would like.

•It can sound egoistic from your part, but he is like 70% of the time running away with the team, dealing with problems with them, drowning in work or out doing his duty as a hero.

•you were very proud of him, fighting criminals and trying to lead a team must suck the life out of you, but you can't help but feel lonely sometimes.

•Besides you feel like your problems aren't as important as his because you don't have to fight the demon dad of the stray emo girl you found or a crazy dude without an eye whose trying to kill all of your loved ones. Your problems were about how work can be exhausting or a stupid discussion you have, they would sound so dumb.

Cheating part!

Dick loves you, he really does, but he can't help how he's interested in the new women of the team. Kori is something else, different from what you are, more bold and right away hot.

The way she talked to him in such a confident and flirty way always managed to make him smirk or how she would take care of an situation by being badass.

You were a sweet person, the kind of person who always wants to please everyone and make them happy; he liked that, but this change was very welcomed too...

He have tried to suppress his feelings, reminding himself that you were waiting for him in home.

"What's wrong, Grayson?" Her voice snapped him from his thought. She's holding a bottle of what seemed like tequila, a bright smile in her face and the way her hair looks just makes her look more sexy than she already is.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." He tried to make her go away, but his attempt was shallow. The way his trying to not look at her makes Kori to shake her head.

"Always so charming." She says, approaching him." You need to let go a bit, it can be great for you, you know?" The way his eyes are going up and down makes her bit her lower lip." I can help you with that..."

That was the only thing he needed to let go. Following Kori when she kiss him, putting a hand behind her head to deepened it.

His mind is foggy, it has been so long since he had felt something like this. The thrill and lust mixed togheter as they fucked, but being honest he just needed the relief.

When it finished he didn't feel a single thing, yet Kori seemed to talk about what happened or maybe even go for round two, but he wasn't feeling like it.

It was just a one night thing and that's it. He will come to you and be the sweet boyfriend he was, until that thought faded away with the other hook ups they had.

As he tries to sleep his conscience won't shut up, reminding him the piece of shit he is for doing this.

Dick couldn't help but feel like utterly trash for doing this to you. However, he's happy you don't know it and he didn't wanted to tell you either way, too afraid of hurting you, yet too needy to stop it.

This day was the last of hooking up with Kori. They both needed it after a rough week of fighting crime so they went for it when the tower was alone.

Much to their dismay you wanted to surprise your boyfriend... and boy it was a surprise.

You have been planning this since last week, a nice dessert for you two to enjoy and please yourself with the joy of seeing Dick after a long week with just calls filling up his absence.

As you entered in the livingroom something made you feel like you didn't mean to be there, but shrugged it off...maybe you were just excited and nervous to finally see your beloved boyfriend.

So feeling uneasy and all you went to Dick's room and the sound of moans and skin slapping against skin caused your heart to drop.

You opened the door without caring if whatever was happening in there could destroy your heart and it did.

Kori was on top of him, her pink hair bouncing as Dick sucked on her neck; his hand going from her waist to her ass and giving it a slap causing the alien girl to moan.

You gasped for air as tears started to fall from your eyes. It was like your heart was ripped from your body and teared apart in front of you.

You couldn't breathe and as a desperate way of making yourself unnoticed you clamped a hand around your mouth, trembling as you walked away from the horrible scene.

However, they did heard the sound of someone sobbing and whimpering, killing the mood instantly.

Dick put away Kori, dressed himself and went out to look who was the person making those noises.

It's less to say that he froze when he saw you in the living room, trying to catch your breath as heartbreaking sobs left your lips.

Dick was left speechless, this wasn't the way you should have found out, you didn't even have founded out about this...

"(N/n) let me explain..." Dick say in a vague attempt to redeem himself. His heart is racing as he reach out for you, taking your hand to turn you around and face him.

"Don't touch me!" You got away from him, your eyes red from crying and your cheeks glistened thanks to the tears. This view of you made him snap out of his little fantasy.

What was he trying? He truly believed he could get away with this, having sex with Kori, no strings or feelings involved and then go with you to feel loved and care; it was too good to happen, most likely delusional from his part to even pretend he could have that.

"Baby, I'm sorry..." Dick mutters, his mouth running dry. The sound of your quick breath mixed with whimpers breaking his heart in a slowly and painful way, he just wants to cuddle you and wash away the pain, but he can't and it's killing him.

"H-how could you?" You spoke in a low tone, the sobs making difficult for you to talk." I tried to be good for you, to make you feel less overwhelmed with your job, but-fuck! tell me, am I not enough?"

Dick chest tightened, the air getting stuck in his throat as he swallows hard." No, baby that's not true—"

"Then why you did it, Dick?" You questioned him as you made your way out of the building, leaving behind a heartbroken Dick. The guilt starting to crawl all over him, practically screaming that he deserves all of it.

Tag list: @nervousmemzie @la-femme-lupita @c0-77 @deannahartsworld

[onlyfansdotcomslashshawnmendes]

Start of Something Great - pt. 2

ALRIGHT, YALL WANTED IT, SO HERE IT IS! Is it a good ending? Maybe. You’ll have to find out. C: If you haven’t read part one to this fic, and would like to, you can here. 

NSFW/ Smut / Jock Shawn/ Cheating with Shawn / ANGST / gratuitous oral scenes / Impatient h*rny Shawn /vague college boy style daddy kink / Angsty /Catching feelings /undescribed femme character because fuck non-inclusive descriptions✨ / did I mention angst? / 6.4k words

The lights were completely off, only the bathroom adjacent to the bed provided lighting from a slim crack in the doorway. Comforting scents of sandalwood and  frangipani lingered in the air. The nag champa incense long since burned out. But it mixed with the musk in the air, the soft sweetness of coconut oil seemed to stick just below her nose. Warm, it was so warm, wrapped in blankets and wrapped in his arms. His body was warm, and soft, arms laced around her waist. One of his legs rested between hers, soft lips moved up her arm; to the tip of her shoulder and then down the curve of her neck and up to her jaw. The music was playing softly, but close to the bed, currently John Legend. Her eyes were closed as she soaked up the feelings of the moment.  Large hands and calloused fingers moved up her stomach, over her breasts. She felt his lips move higher, teeth nipping at her earlobe, breath hot. “Tonight I'll be the best you ever had. I don't wanna brag, but I'll be the best you ever had.” She couldn’t help but laugh softly as he sang the lyrics against her jawline. He sang too well for just some hockey player, she’d told him that before, but now wasn’t the time. “Shawn!” she scolded in a whisper, giving him a shove. She turned now to face him, looking up at him as if her head wasn’t under his chin. Still he wrapped his arms back around her, his fingertips grazing her spine. Sometimes she swore he could feel the electric currents he sent through her body. “You had to ruin the moment,” she teased before leaning in and kissing the tip of his chin once. She moved back then, slowly pulling herself from his arms. A heavy sigh came from the curly haired boy, his hands holding her wrists trying to keep her in the bed. “I need to go Shawn,” she said in a whisper. “Stay the night,” his voice was almost a muffled huff, “You said he’s out of town.”  She sighed, for a moment paused in her attempt to leave. “He is out of town, but I have to FaceTime him before I got to bed.” her tone made it sound like it made so much sense, almost like scolding him for not understanding. A huff came from Shawn, almost like a sneer as he fell back in bed. He wasn’t holding onto her wrists anymore. “Fine, go.” he said softly. “It’s literally 11pm anyway, if he believes you’re in the library this late on a Friday night, more power to him, I guess.” She scoffed at that, “You’re such a bitch sometimes Shawn, you know that? Why don’t you just call your round two and get off my ass?” Her tone was irritated with him, but so was she, and she saw no reason to pretend different.  “Right,” he said in a tired tone, “I forgot you’re just here to get some good dick and then go back to your otherwise perfect sweet caring boyfriend who does nothing wrong.” his tone was almost mocking. “He is sweet Shawn! He’s a really nice guy, and he cares about me a lot! He’s not a dumb jock who sleeps his way through life and who’s biggest concern is if his hair looks okay.” her tone was so defensive and she wasn’t even sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. “Yeah but you don’t love him, do you?” Shawn’s voice was softer now, as he turned his head, looking over at her. There was silence between them, she didn’t know how to answer that. She cared about her boyfriend, of course. But if she loved him, why did she keep coming back to Shawn. Why did being in Shawn’s arms feel so right, in a way she’d never felt before. Why did she feel a pang of jealousy at the idea of Shawn taking her advice and calling a round two. But before she spoke, Shawn did, looking over her, “I can’t do this anymore.” It caused her to look back at him, almost shocked, “What?” her question was so quiet that she almost didn’t hear it herself. “This,” he answered, waving his hand around the room, clearly he heard her question. “I’m not doing this, I’m tired of being someone you come to when you want some dick. I liked it better when we were friends, I wish we’d never even fucked.” he said shaking his head. Everything about what he said, made her feel sick to her stomach. And she wasn’t sure if he said he’d have rather never done this, or the fact that ‘fucked’ sounded so casual, emotionless. “Shawn we were never friends,” she said eyes locked on him. “We had class together and you flicked paper balls at me until we had to work on a project together. And you barely did any of it, and you were annoying. And finally once you knew my name you decided to try and fuck me at a party,” her tone was bitter as she threw his own word back at him.  “Nice,” he said nodding, “Glad we were never friends, at least I’ve been...just some dick this whole time.” he said giving her SUCH a fake smile. “Shawn you can’t be serious,” she sighed, “You can’t be upset about this for real.” her voice was almost exhausted. For a moment, he was quiet, looking over her, “Listen, I like you,” he said in a way that made it almost sound like an insult. “And if you want to stay with your boyfriend that’s fine. I..guess I am not the one to decide if you love him or not.” he said looking over her for a moment, “But I can’t...keep doing this and then watching you go home to some other guy.” he said shrugging. “So, I won’t do it.” he said, “Leave now please,” he added, “I’m going to go take a shower.” His voice was almost monotone, as he got out of the bed and walked himself into his bathroom. He closed the door behind him, leaving the room she was standing in entirely dark. She heard the shower turn on, and for a moment she still just stood there. He liked her? What did that even mean? Well, until that moment she hadn’t even been entirely sure he liked her as a person, but she supposed that meant he did. But did he mean he loved her? Or was that just a polite way of letting her know he didn’t hate her before he went off on her about her boyfriend. He didn’t use the word love, but he did when he mentioned her feelings. Did he just expect her to break up with her boyfriend to feed his ego about being the only man she was ...’fucking’? After a moment she decided it was either the worst love confession of all time, or he’d just had an ego trip from hell. Neither made her feel better, and neither did anything to ease the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.  Somewhere along the lines, she’d fallen in love with him. He’d told her not to but she did it anyway. It was why she kept coming back. The only reason she’d hooked up with him in the first place was because working on that damn project with him gave her the biggest crush. She swore he’d known it, he had to, or else he’d have never asked her to have sex with him, right? It was what made her keep coming back for a taste of him, even if guilt of cheating on her boyfriend was eating away at her. She loved her boyfriend, or at least she told herself. But Shawn gave her butterflies. The way she felt when he complimented her made her feel a type of beautiful she’d never felt before. She’d tried to convince herself it was just good sex. But it wasn’t. Somewhere between the car sessions and the milkshakes and fries he’d talked her into afterward...she’d fallen in love. A type of love she’d never felt before. Comfort. But she hadn’t let herself feel it, not with Shawn. She never felt comfortable in a crowd. No, they were two different clicks. He was with the jocks, the funny, the painfully handsome, the stupidly popular. And she... well she’d had three classes with him prior to their group project, and he still hadn’t known her name. A nobody, ro him just some nerdy girl with a major he’d never asked about. It didn’t matter how she felt around him when they were alone. That wasn’t love, she’d told herself, he treated every girl he fucked that way. That had to be true, right? Awkwardness of standing there, naked in his bedroom finally took over. With a soft sigh, she grabbed her clothes, pulling on each piece. Once she was dressed, she walked to the door of the bathroom where Shawn was. If this was over, she had nothing to lose right? He at least owed her an explanation of what he meant. Her hand touched the knob, and she turned it, but it stopped half way. Locked. Asshole. With a sigh she grabbed her bag, there really was nothing else for her to do besides go back to her dorm to sulk, and so she did. She went back to her dorm, and she did call her boyfriend, not for long, she couldn’t handle him asking what was wrong. She told him she was sick, not feeling well and needing to sleep. Once the call was over though, she found herself crying. Curling up in her bed, miserable. Even if she weren’t sick, she felt it. Never had a fight with a man made her feel this way, not even her boyfriend. She finally reached for her phone, opening up Shawn’s contact. She looked at the last message from him, his reply to her saying she’d be at his dorm soon. ‘Can’t wait ❤️❤️❤️’ It made her heart ache and she pushed it out of her mind before sending him another text. “Hi” she sent before double texting a “Can we talk?” she didn’t know what she wanted to talk about, but honestly she’d take most anything.  Hours came and went, and no message back from Shawn. She looked for the message that he’d read it, but there was none of that either. Eventually, after a bit more tears, and a half pint of ice cream, she fell asleep. When she woke up in the morning, well what was left of the morning, she felt almost hungover. She groaned as she checked her phone, 11:23am. Instantly she opened her messages, no reply from Shawn. But there it sat now, and her heart sank. ‘Read at 3:04am’. She felt a wave of nausea when she imagined what he was doing up so late. Instantly she closed her messages, flipping through her phone and opening Instagram. Straight to his profile, no new posts. Stories? Three. A party. A video of him taking shots. Typical. A video of him and one of his male friends arm wrestling? Okay? The last one, Shawn, and a girl. He held her jaw in one hand, a bottle of beer in the other, pouring the beer into her mouth. Laughs all around, from his friends, from him, from her even. And then he kissed her, beer spilling over the both of them.  She could feel tears welling in her eyes again already. She wanted to think he did that on purpose, to bother her, to send her a message. Well if his intent was to hurt her, it worked. But was she even so important to him? It took a moment, but she pulled herself together, she couldn’t be sat here crying over a boy she wasn’t even dating. Even if the thought of him with another girl did make her miserable. The rest of her day, progressed much like her morning. She couldn’t bare to make herself text him again. That evening she was supposed to see her boyfriend. Midway through the day she texted him to let him know she still wasn’t feeling well, and they couldn’t hang out. She just couldn’t drag herself out of this funk.  It didn’t help that her boyfriend disregarded her wishes, and that night he came over, bringing her soups and juices. A sweet gesture of course, but here she was sick to her stomach over another man, and this one was being so kind to her. Her stomach in her throat, heart feeling like it was coming out of her chest, she broke up with him. There were tears, and frustrations, but even so, she went through with it. She was honest, confessing to him that she’d fallen for someone else. She didn’t tell him of the...affair the dozens of hookups, but she considered that cruel and unusual. Once he was finally gone, she found herself cursing Shawn, and she picked up her phone again, sending a message. “You’re such a fucking brat” she sent, as if he was he who had made her do what she’d just done. Truth be told, he was right, she should have done it long ago, after the first night. This time, it was much faster. ‘Read at 9:26pm’  A soft gasp left her lips, “Shawn I know you’re there.” she sent, “Answer me.” Once more, ‘Read at 9:30pm’ she waited a moment, before sighing hard. “Shawn, answer me, its important, we need to talk. I’m sorry” She wasn’t sure why she apologized, desperation maybe. ‘Read at 9:32pm’ For a moment, she considered going directly to his dorm, just to smack him across the face, but what would that do? Instead, she opted to call him. Declined, immediately. Finally, she saw the text bubbles popping up on his side of the screen. She watched impatiently until the message popped up. ‘Please leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep, good night.’ With shaky fingers she immediately responded, “Well that’s a goddamn lie.” A brief wait, ‘Read at 9:35pm’. But she got no answer past that, all it did was make her realize that she was in fact trembling. She gave a dramatic soft scream and threw her phone down. With one final sigh she went to microwave herself some ramen and call it a night, as far as she was concerned she damn well deserved it.  The night passed, and days passed, she tried to text him a few more times, but no answer from Shawn. Finally, she decided it had been enough. He was going to know how she felt, and if he didn’t feel the same, fine, but she needed closure. He wouldn’t answer her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to get his attention. She took a break from her funk to get dressed up, a fresh shower and hair wash. She even shaved, lucky Shawn. And she sat down, doing her makeup, making sure it was perfect, and her hair, just the way she liked. Finally, time to get dressed. After careful consideration, she picked out a black dress. It was a little tighter on her than when she first bought it, but it did hug all of the right places. And she decided for sure, tonight was the night. She pulled out a push up bra, and some tall heels, ones that made her almost tall enough to kiss Shawn without him leaning down. Under the dress though..that was the real secret. Baby pink lace lingerie, that really did hug every single curve perfectly. Lace on the sides with only a bit of silk to cover the most important bits, heart shaped. Once she was finally done, she slipped her lipstick into her bag, just incase she needed to touch it up, a travel makeup wipe, and some powder, the basics in her mind. She almost felt like a fool walking down the halls like that, but of course girls did it all the time, she just..didn’t happen to be a party girl. In fact, it was already Friday night again, many girls dressed so similar to her walked past her. Silently she found herself praying that she hadn’t missed Shawn before he left for his own party session, it was still a little early after all. Once she arrived at his building, on his floor, right in front of his dorm door, she raised her hand to knock, and then froze in spot. Talking inside? A female voice? She leaned in, pressing her ear to the door, she could have sworn she heard a gasp, or a moan, or a sigh...or something above the nausea in her stomach. As much as she didn’t have a right to be jealous over him, she damn sure was. And with a huff, she knocked on that door, if there was a girl in there, she was determined to interrupt it.  After what felt like an eternity, Shawn opened the door, a half crack. And there he stood, curls ever so slightly messy, a little stubble on his chin, and he was shirtless. In fact, he was only wearing grey pajama pants, bare feet sticking out from the pant legs. She tried her best not to stare at his chest, or....abs, or..if those pajama pants fit just right... “Hi, let me in,” she said finally, doing her best to have a stern voice. Shawn quirked a brow at her, “Well, don’t you have good timing.” he said before opening his door, “Come on.” he said before opening that door. “Is someone here?” she asked once she walked in, glancing at Shawn closing his door and flipping the lock. “No,” he said gesturing toward his open laptop on the bed. She took a moment to step over to it, peaking at the laptop screen, almost as if next shed look under his bed. But she gasped softly once she saw the screen, “Porn?” she asked. “I wasn’t joking about your timing,” he said, and as she turned around to face him, he kissed her.  It caught her off guard, his hand on her jaw, his lips crushing into hers. It felt the same as it always had, butterflies in her stomach, her body seeming to melt against his. Every question, and accusation and demand she had, seemed to leave her mind. Even if this didn’t go the way she planned, what was one more time? She deserved a good lay right? That was what she told herself anyway. She wrapped her arms around his torso, her fingertips dragging down his back. Moments later it switched to nails as his lips grazed down her jaw, and down her neck. “You missed this dick, huh?” he whispered just below her ear. “Can you not be cocky...for fifteen seconds?” she asked against his jaw. It earned her a soft laugh from the curly haired boy. And he went back to kissing at her neck, nipping and sucking the skin there, but not hard enough to leave a mark. His hands moved over her body, and down her hips, before moving up her back. He unzipped that dress, and already began to pull it off of her.  Within minutes, he had that dress off, dropping it beside them. “You look so fucking good baby...” he whispered against her jaw, before leaning up to kiss her lips. She felt her cheeks burn at the compliment, and at him calling her baby. She kept kissing him back, one of her hands moved into his hair, her fingers locking in those curls. Her body almost melted under him, against him still, she felt herself moan into those kisses. “This outfit..” he whispered against her lips, "Let me look at you..” he said pulling back gently and looking over her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in lingerie before..” he said quietly, his fingertips tracing her figure. “You look like something out of a dream..” he said in a quiet voice. ”You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen..” he said it almost like he was talking to himself. But before she could answer his lips were on hers again. All she managed was a soft ‘Shawn’ into those kisses, but he just hummed against her lips as a response.  “I know,” he murmured into the kisses, “I know what I said before, but just one more time..” he whispered. “Shawn,” she breathed against his lips. She wanted to tell him that it should..not just be one more time. But he silenced her with kisses, his hands moving up the curve of her spine. His fingers undid her bra and pulled it off. His lips moved along her neck as his hands moved up over her chest slowly, massaging her breasts. Her hands moved over his body in return, along his sides and over his chest, down the toned muscles. She tilted her head to the side, soft moans falling from her lips as his lips moved along her neck. “I missed you..” she whispered before running one hand up his neck and tangling it into the curls at the base there. Shawn made a sound almost like a huff, and she couldn’t tell if he was laughing because he found it funny or because he didn’t believe her. He pulled her hips forward, his hands on her lower back, making her arch as he kissed over her chest. Little licks and nips as he made his way along her skin. Her hands tangled once more in his hair, playing with his curls and tugging them gently.  “That feels so good Shawn,” she whispered, “Do you like sucking those tits?” her voice was soft, almost like a little moan of her own. Shawn gave a low ‘mhm’ under his breath, almost nuzzling his face against her chest. He kept sucking at her skin, licking and sucking over her nipples for a moment. His hands moved lower down her waist, massaging her for a moment, like he just wanted to feel her. And then his hands pushed her panties down, letting them fall as his hands began to massage and knead at her bottom. “You’re so hot..” he whispered against her skin gently. But soon enough he pulled back up, kissing her lips hard. “Let me taste something else..” he said against her lips before slowly pulling back. And he picked up his laptop, closing it and setting it on his beside table. Once he turned back to face her though, she bit at her bottom lip, running her hands up his chest again. “How about this time Shawn..” she said softly, “You let me have a taste,” she did her best to give him the most sultry look she could muster. “You..always go down on me, like everytime we’ve ever hooked up,” she said giving him bedroom eyes, “How about this time you let me spoil you? Let me suck that big cock before you fuck me?” she asked, running her fingertips lower, just above the waistband of his pants. “Please?”  There was a moment where Shawn just looked over her, before nodding, “Alright,” he said giving her a little grin, “Who am I to say no to a perfectly good blowjob?” Once he agreed, she nodded, “Thank you daddy,” she cooed with her sweetest voice. She slipped her fingers into the waistband of his pants, and pulled them down, dropping them to his ankles where he slipped them off. He wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath them, and his cock was already visibly quite hard. “Is all this for me?” she cooed, reaching down and wrapping her hand around his cock, slowly stroking her hand up and down the length of it. “It’s so big,” she cooed. She saw Shawn roll his eyes, almost shaking his head, but there was still a smile on his lips. “Sit down!” she said then, in almost a bratty voice, before shoving him to sit on the edge of his bed. Shawn half fell with a little laugh, sitting back on the bed and watching her as she moved down onto her knees in front of him.  “You look so handsome,” she cooed looking up at him, running her nails up and down his thick thighs. Her hand finally moved to take hold of his cock and she leaned in, peppering kisses along the length of it. She dragged her tongue along the underside, giving a hum while she did. Her tongue moved higher, around the tip of his cock, and she used the tip of her tongue to tease the slit at the tip. Shawn’s hands were tangling into her hair now, pulling it a bit as moaned softly. Her lips wrapped around the tip of his cock and he gave a shaky exhale. “That’s nice baby..” he whispered. He felt her smile against his cock, and he looked down to see it as well. She was smiling, before taking him deeper into her mouth. All at once she was bobbing her head, sucking hard and hungrily, almost leaning up on her knees while she did like she was SO eager. And truth be told, she was eager, she’d missed him.  The noises coming from him were constant, soft hungry whimpers as he pulled her hair a bit tighter “Fuck baby that feels amazing..” he groaned. She pulled back, but only for a moment, spitting against his cock before her hand took over where her mouth had been. She stroked him eagerly and hungry, leaning down to gently suck at his balls. She gave him soft little kisses and licks in-between that made him spread his legs and groan out. “Oh..god...damn,” he groaned, his head rolling to the side and then back. One hand stayed in her hair, but one moved back to rest on the bed, almost like to steady himself. “You’re doing such a good job baby..” he whispered. “Mhn, I love my daddy’s cock..” she murmured against his skin, before popping him right back into her mouth. She felt him throb, just seconds before, at her words, more than her touch. It made her moan against him gently as she pressed her mouth down as far as she could, gagging against him lightly. She felt him shift on the bed, she saw his abs clench, and she pulled back, kissing the tip of his cock over and over. “Do you wanna fuck me now, Shawn?” she cooed, before kissing at the side of his cock now, along it gently.  “Yeah..” he whispered, “Absolutely, come up here for me.” he said standing up, and pulling her up, putting her on his bed. He pushed her back, so her head rested on the pillow, before he got up and moved over her himself. He was spreading her legs moving between them, wrapping a hand around his cock and dragging the tip along her inner folds. He was almost shocked to see strings of wetness, not only his precum but his arousal. He’d have never owned it, but his cheeks flushed a soft pink at how worked up she was just from sucking his cock. “Wait,” her voice snapped him out of his almost trance, and he looked up at her, with a soft ‘hm?’ “Condom,” she said softly, “Get one.” For a second, his expression was blank, and he nodded, before opening his bedside drawer, grabbing a condom out of the box in there. “You didn’t make me use one the last time you were here, decided you don’t like my dick as good raw?” His question made her gasp, and she felt her cheeks burn. “Don’t be a asshole, the last time I was here, you showed me a letter showing me you’d been tested and you were clean. You got another one?” she asked.  “No, but I’m clean,” Shawn almost scoffed the words as he pulled on the condom. “Right, it’s been a week I’m sure you haven’t put that dick annnywhere else.” she said giving him a look. “You sound jealous,” he added with a soft smile. She huffed, “You know I have toys bigger than that in my drawer right, and they vibrate, you don’t vibrate. You just say stupid shit.” He grinned at that, before taking a hold of his cock now, and pushing up into her, “What drawer?” he asked, leaning up. One hand held her hip, one rested on the bed above her shoulder as he began to thrust into her. “Mhn, fuck Shawn,” she moaned, her hands resting on him, one on his back and one around his shoulders. “Fuck that feels good,” she panted, her pussy already clenching around him. “I know it does baby, it’s good dick, which drawer?” he asked brushing his lips against her jaw. She quirked a brow at him, “The one beside my bed, why do you care hn?” she asked, wrapping her leg around his waist now, pulling him tighter to her, “Just fuck me, Shawn,” she hummed.  “Mhn, yes ma’am,” he purred, leaning down a bit closer. But he took one hand, spreading her free leg open as the other hand balanced his weight. He was thrusting into her harder now, already reaching a sort of rough pace. “That feel good? You wanna tell me how good it feels?” he hummed against her jaw. “Your ego is worse than normal...” she panted, unable to keep from letting a moan slip out. “I just want some compliments baby, and I want you to give them to me, come on, tell me,” he whispered against her jaw, “Please? Don’t make me fuck it out of you?” For a moment she grinned, looking over him with such a little smirk. “Oh I think you might have to fuck it out of me Shawn..” she cooed. “I think you might just need to fuck that little pussy until I’m begging you to stop..” she cooed. She was already giving soft moans, but she heard Shawn laugh, under his breath, and she knew she was in for it.  “Your wish is my command, princess,” he cooed. Within seconds, Shawn’s hands took her thighs, and he spread them wide open. He didn’t push them up to her shoulders, but he did push them up some. “God your pussy is so fucking pretty..you know that? And so are you, you look like a fucking angel under me,” Shawn purred. He looked over a moment longer before using her legs as sort of leverage as he began to thrust into her. He didn’t put all of his weight on her, but that meant each he almost ‘fell’ into her, and it slammed his cock deep into her. Within seconds, he had her on the verge of sobbing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck Shawn, oh fuck that’s deep!” she cried, her hands clawing down his back instantly. “O-..Oh Shawn!” her voice was strained and each thrust up into her made her cry out, in such a vulgar way. “Tell me you love it baby,” he whispered against her jaw, leaning in to literally lick up her cheek. “Tell me you love that huge fucking dick stretching out your pussy. Tell me how good it is, tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had..”  Her voice was shaking so bad it took her a second to even speak. God it felt good, and she realized it even more now that it had been a while. She hadn’t been with him, she hadn’t been with her boyfriend. She’d been so down in the dumps about this that she hadn’t even touched herself. And now, all of that pleasure was flooding in, each thrust made her feel it in the pit of her stomach, burning heat. “Fuck Shawn,” she whimpered after a moment, she knew her nails were dragging blood down his back, she could feel it. “Please,” his voice was hot against her jaw, “Tell me how good it feels,” he panted those words, and it did sound like a plea, like he had to hear or he’d die. “It feels...so good Shawn..” she panted, and she could have sworn she heard him sigh of relief. “Mhm,” he moaned against her jaw, “More,” his voice was so quiet she barely heard it.  “It’s the best I ever had Shawn...” she whispered, “I mean it, you fuck me so fucking good..” her voice almost sobbed those words. “I’m going to cum, so fast baby, I’m so fucking close Shawn..” she whimpered as she tangled one hand into his hair and tugged hard. “Do you want that baby, you want me to soak that thick cock? I want to do it..I want to cum for you so bad,” she whimpered those words. He nodded to her, almost breathlessly. “Yeah baby, fuck yeah, soak that cock for me..” he panted, “Show me how good it makes you feel, I just want to make you feel good so bad..” he panted. She nodded to him, eagerly, her response just desperate moans. He was so clearly invested, so desperate and eager to make her cum. He was focused on it, his lips parted softly as he gave quiet moans of his own. His eyes were locked on her, all that moved were his curls that hung in his face while he thrust into her so consistently like that.  “I’m gonna Shawn..” her voice sounded like a warning, “I’m gonna cum so fucking hard for you, don’t stop,” she whined. And within seconds she was, her pussy clenching against him over and over. She felt her hips jerk forward, desperate for that friction between them. She gave whining almost sobs of pleasure as he kept thrusting into her while she rode it out. Finally, she pushed at his hands, getting them off her thighs, and she wrapped her legs around him. She pulled him closer with her thighs around his hips and kissed him hard, resting her hands on his cheeks. Shawn didn’t protest, kissing her back, and gently rolling his hips up against hers, keeping his tight to hers. “You fuck me so good Shawn...” she whispered, “You make me want that cock to be mine all the time,” she cooed.  “It could have been,” Shawn said after a moment before gently starting to pull back, almost like that ended it for him. “Shawn,” she whispered, pulling at him more so, “That’s..why I came, I broke up with him.” she said looking up at the brunette with almost doll eyes, like begging him to react kindly. “You did?” he asked looking over her. For a moment she saw excitement, and then it was washed over by neutrality. “That’s...I mean that’s good for you but, I don’t get why you’re telling me because you said before like...a few times now that you’re not into me so..” he said shrugging. “Will you like..unhook your legs so I can pull out?” he asked quietly. For a moment there was silence, as she swallowed her pride. “I lied,” she blurted out. “I said that because I didn’t think you would ever date me..I thought you just wanted some easy pussy.” she said looking down, and away from him now, slowly unhooking her legs from his waist. But Shawn didn’t move, “So...you like me?” he asked, brow furrowed, “As in like you came here to tell me you two broke up, so...we could get together?”  She couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Yes, why else did I get all dolled up and come over to suck your dick, you silly boy,” she cooed. She reached up, running her fingers through his hair, “Kiss me now,” she said, and Shawn sO eagerly leaned in, crushing his lips to hers, kissing her passionately. “I love you,” he finally said against her lips, “And I want to be your boyfriend. I know we haven’t...like had a chance to date for real before but..I want to now. And I want to be more than friends, and I don’t want us to fuck anyone besides each other.” His tone was so serious, but she couldn’t help but giggle at how sweet he was being. “Of course Shawn, I want that too, very much..it’s...a big part of why I broke up with him, to be with you,” she cooed, stroking her fingers down his cheek.  He grinned so wide, like a cat who got the cream, “Good.” he said softly, and he was pulling back from her now, slipping out of her. She leaned up, looking down between them, once more that condom was full. “Shawn, did you...like cum midway again?” she asked and he nodded. “Yeah kind of early on. Don’t...fuck with me about it, I’m your boyfriend now, be nice.” he said pointing at her. “God, Shawn, we talked about how...unsafe that is, I shudder to think of the potential children you have and don’t know about..or..what you could have possibly just given me.” she huffed. “I told you I’m clean,” he snapped at her, throwing the condom away and then flopping down next to her, cuddling with her. He reached down, pulling some sheets over them, before giving his phone an order to start some music.  “Mhn, you don’t have to leave this time there’s nowhere to go, you’re my girlfriend now.” he said against her cheek, giving her soft kisses over and over against her soft skin. “Well, I should clean up before we go to sleep,” she cooed playfully, “Also, we have something to discuss Mendes. Wanna tell me why you were watching.. ‘Big dick jock pounds slutty nerd tutoring him’?” she asked arching a brow, “Is that what I am to you? A nerdy slutty tutor?” her tone was slightly raised. “Pft, never,” he said shaking his head, “I..do have a big dick, and a history of projecting though.” he said grinning. “Oh god you’re awful,” she said laughing. “I knew you thought I was a nerd,” she playfully huffed against his shoulder. “Mhn, you are, but you’re also..my girlfriend,” he hummed before kissing her lips once gently. “I love you too,” she cooed against his lips, before stealing another kiss.

[brckensocietyarch]

it was rather entertaining to see how his serious demeanour slipped even for a moment, even if it was at the expense of her very cliche statement. “no need to apologise,” she replied with a soft smirk on her lips, “much like i am sure you are totally badass and scary like every other vampire,” she teased back, knowing she was poking back at him despite that possibly not being the smartest of ideas. was calling out the person with a clear upper hand smart? probably not but she couldn’t resist the opportunity. “exactly, and given he’s the type that doesn’t believe anything supernatural is possible in the world i am sure this would’ve just caused many unnecessary issues. and don’t apologise. i am sure you’ve had plenty of encounters that prove humans aren’t trustworthy and threatening to bite my neck seems like it’d come witht he territory anyay,” jax laughed softly, in her eyes he was protecting himself, something she’d done a lot in her own life so she understood acting a certain way because of that. she noticed the way his gaze fell to her neck, the action make her heart race for a moment but not out of fear before she shook her head, deciding to ignore the action. “what makes you think i’m worried about you watching me?” she queried with a quirked brow, rather flattered he’d taken an interest in her, “very unique? i’ll take it.” she nodded, not sure if it was meant to be a compliment or just an observation but figuring there was a depper reason as to why he watched her that he wasn’t letting on. “now that is bullshit, i mean, i can see vampires and shit being scarier or more liekly to freak someone out in real life but you are definitely handsome, if you’re having trouble luring and seducing i don’t think it’s based on looks,” jax stated without any hesitation thinking maybe it was a problem with how women were likely different in terms of flirtations and such in this era. “oh, i could, but then you’d get addicted to me and we’d have a real problem on our hands,” she replied in a playful tone. in truth, she would be happy to help him if he really needed it but figured most meals were finished to completion and she liked being alive. the femme moved in towards the couch, leaning against the frame of the entryway as he told her the story of how he became what he was now. she could sympathise to an extent, knowing she had gone through her own struggles of trying to survive and being desperate because of it along with being in situations that she wanted revenge for, she was certain if she’d been given such an offer in the midst of her hardest times she would’ve taken it without a second thought. slowly she made her way to the couch, sitting down beside him. “if it makes you feel better i would’ve done the same. at least my younger self would’ve, i would’ve run and hid and also taken the opportunity to get revenge. did you? get revenge? i can guess if you got your revenge it wasn’t as satisfying as you hoped given you said your life is a mistake but i can’t help but be curious…” she was damn certain if she had the opportunity to get true revenge it’d be satisfying but maybe he had a different experience.

he snorted immediately in reaction to her cliched line as he attempted to withhold in his laughter quickly turning his face to the side and biting on his bottom lip curling up his nose as it was a sudden change in his serious yet tense demeanour which he couldn't help but feel it was necessary to cut through the tension since she seemed to be harmless....for now. " sorry. " he quickly apologised only to then look back at her innocently. " i am sure you're very different and individual who doesn't conform to society's norms. " poking fun at her unable to help but tease. his head would tilt while smiling at her cheekily but it didn't last long only to fade. eyebrows rose up as his eyes appeared to be intrigued with curiosity when assured she wouldn't have told her ex what she had witnessed. " you're right. people prefer to not know someone like me exists. history with you humans never seem to change but you do seem kind of trustworthy. sorry i misjudged you, no hard feelings threatening to bite into your neck. " quirking his eyebrows he moved his hands out and shrugged his shoulders a little appearing to be innocent. dropping his hands down by his hips his eyes would then lower down to her neck eyeing it before steering back up to lock eyes with her own. " nothing to be worried about now but yes i was keeping my eyes on you. you're very unique. " having grown soft when she had been under his surveillance prior to meeting her this evening in his opinion he thought she was sad and alone however it was an assumption. a dry chuckle erupted amused by her joke only to then roll his eyes. " the vampire craze has indeed died out and anyway they're fictional. it's different when it's real and i am not exactly handsome to lure in and seduce any human i come across. " tilting his head a little off to the side while holding his eyes with her own with lips mildly pursed together as if he were hiding a smirk.

wavering his hand when she apologised only to warmly respond. " it's okay she didn't taste good anyway. you know if you feel that bad about it you can offer your neck up for me to feed on. " playfully he would briefly pout only for a devilishly amused grin to crack on his lips as he was only teasing her. fascinated and encapsulated by her he couldn't help but find her to be attractive. squinting his eyes as they slowly looked off to the side bobbling his head briefly in agreement when she assumed what he thought she had expected of his origin story. when she finished he looked back at her directly with a soft tightened faint smile. " i won't glamourize it i promise. i prefer to be honest with you. " holding his direct eye contact with her own. his pleasant expression faded when she invited him in he stepped inside moving past her. ezra would then remove his jacket and drape it on the back of the sofa. " i fought in two wars but before the second during the depression era i got desperate trying to survive taking care of my mother. my friend artie got this idea to rob a mob bank so we did just that with our own crew. " his eyes then wandered around the living room appearing to be impressed. " there was a girl of course there was you're thinking. anyway, we robbed the place things got out of hand when guns started going off. i didn't fire mine. i ran and hid. when i came home to see mom i found the place up in flames and then someone who was watching me came along with the promise to give me the power to take revenge on my enemies. " his eyes lowered to the rug his tone sombre. he then took a seat on her couch and hunched with his head down. " we all make mistakes but this mistake is my life."

[olivia200312]

Sexy Car Wash~ Bay! Optimus x Human! Reader (Lemon)

Plot: Y/N decided to give Optimus a car was and dressed in her bikini. The Prime couldn't control himself but mate with her inside his truck.~ ;)

Ok, I did read about Bumblebee's car wash with the reader, but never about other bots. So I decided to give Optimus a chance. I know that Optimus is a truck and not a car, but I decided to call it a car wash. This one shot is a lemon!

This takes place in TF4 inside Cade's barn!

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

Note: the art goes to the owner!

------------------------------------------------------

Y/N was Cade's eldest daughter. She was 18. Yes, it meant that Tessa was younger than her. Only a year younger. Y/N simply followed college online. She had a lot of problems in high school. When Cade found out, he was so mad at the school and principal that he homeschooled Y/N. Tessa was lucky that she didn't have problems. Y/N decided to follow college online and finish her studies that way. She was more glad and happy in fact.

When Y/N was young, she watched how her dad fixed things. Sometimes even build things. She found it interesting and asked her dad if he could teach her. He gladly agreed. Y/N found it hard, but she was learning and she was getting better and better that at one point, she could do it herself!

Tessa was different. She didn't have interest in how her dad and her 1 year older sister were fixing and building things. Tessa was beautiful if you see her. You know, blond hair and blue (?) eyes. She focused more on fashion but that doesn't mean that she was a brat. She was in fact kind and helpful. She had a secret. She had a 20-year-old boyfriend named Shane. Tessa knew that if she introduced Shane to Cade, then oh boy. Troubles will come. But she did tell Y/N her secret and her, being a good sister she was, kept Tessa's secret.

Now, you both noticed that their mother was never mentioned here. Well, to tell you the sad truth, their mother wasn't alive. She died when Y/N and Tessa were very young. It was sad that some kids didn't know who their dead relatives were. But Cade was a good dad and told his daughters everything about their mother. He even showed photos.

Years later, when the girls were adults (well, not Tessa since she's 17), something unexpected happened that only will happen probably in the far future (or it were only fantasies). Cade brought one day an old truck home with Y/N. Now, Cade, Tessa, and Y/N had problems with money during that time. Tessa wanted Cade to sell the truck, but he simply said no. Y/N agreed with her dad. She had a feeling that it wasn't just a truck...

When Cade and Y/N were busy at the barn, they found that it wasn't a truck, but an actual Transformer! It was the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime himself. Everyone was shocked. Lucas was there too. Even Tessa. When Optimus transformed, he was mad. He threatened the humans to stay away or else he'll kill them. Y/N wasn't blaming the Prime for it, but at KSI. They decided to team up with Lockdown and hunt the Autobots down... The sadly manages to kill Ratchet.

Once Optimus was calm thanks to Cade and Y/N, they all introduced themselves. The leader was thankful to Y/N and Cade. He also started to lay his optics on Cade's eldest daughter. He couldn't help but admire her beauty and personality. Even though when he was freaking tall, he actually can transform small. It's called a bipedal form. He didn't told and show it yet to others, but he did have a plan to show it very soon.

Y/N became very close to the leader of the Autobots. She fell in love with him. He was just so brave, smart, and strong. They got to know each other and chatted for hours.

Now~

Y/N just entered the barn. Her hair was in a ponytail and wore a loose F/C tanktop and shorts. She noticed how Optimus wasn't clean that she decided to give him a car wash. Well, maybe a truck wash since he was a truck and not a car. Still, car wash suited more perfectly.

"Hello, Optimus."

Optimus was in his Cybertronian form and was sitting on the ground. He looked down at Y/N and couldn't help but blush. She was wearing a bit of revealing clothes. "Hello, Y/N. Is there something you need?"

Y/N smiled. "I came here to give you a car wash since you're dirty. Do you mind if you're in your alt form?"

"Not at all, Y/N." He then transformed into his truck form and stood still. However, he can still speak.

"Are you ready, Optimus?"

"Yes, I am. Take your time much as you need."

Y/N smiled and got the water hose ready. She then turned the water on and started to spray Optimus. The water was a bit cold that the Prime wiggled a bit in surprise. Y/N giggled by his actions.

Once the Prime was wet enough, Y/N turned the water off and... took her tank top off and shorts, revealing her in a bikini. It was dark blue with red a bit mixed up. Just like Optimus' colors. Optimus blushed bright blue now while in his alt form. He started to think... dirty things about her. He was getting horny and turned on.

Y/N then grabbed a sponge and started to wash him. Optimus was watching her washing him. The soap on him was only used on vehicles and since Optimus was a truck, Y/N used it. The dirt was coming off very well. Y/N then put the soap in the bucket and grabbed the water hose. She turned it on and splashed the Prime. Once the soap was off, she turned the water hose off.

"Alright, now I need to wash your hood so I'm gonna climb on a ladder, ok?" Y/N said.

Optimus hummed. "Understood."

Y/N walked off to get the ladder, her hips moving. She felt Optimus watching her, but what she didn't know was that Prime was getting horny. He never thought that femme humans like Y/N could be sexy.

Y/N came back with the ladder and pressed it gently against Optimus' side and climbed. Once she was on the top, she made the hood wet with the water hose, and then she grabbed the sponge and washed. She heard Optimus purr and heck, even moan softly! Prime was feeling pleasure!

Y/N smirked and continued to tease him. "Enjoying it, Prime?"

Optimus was speechless. He was enjoying it but didn't expect that Y/N would tease him with her voice. Oh, she's going to get it...

Once Y/N was done washing, she sprayed to get the soap off. She then turned the water hose off and climbed down. "There you go, Prime. All clean."

"Thank you, Y/N. It was enjoyable."

Y/N smirked. "You definitely did, Prime. I heard you purr and even moan.~"

Y/N then walked off to put the stuff away. Optimus was blushing mad now. He was sure now going to teach her a lesson.

Y/N was about to put the water hose back to its place when suddenly she felt servos on her hips. Y/N yelped as she got turned around and dropped the water hose. She couldn't believe what she saw. It was Optimus! Only... smaller.

"H-How?"

Optimus chuckled. "When we were on Earth, Lennox made us these forms."

Y/N blushed. He was so sexy up close! She couldn't believe that Prime and others had these forms! And the Optimus' optics... they're so beautiful up close.

Suddenly Optimus smirked and backed Y/N into a wall. "You teased me, you know that?"

Y/N's face got redder. She didn't expect him to show this side of his. Usually, he's a calm, respectful, strong, brave, stern (etc) leader. But this side? Oh boy, this was new.

Y/N didn't respond. She was just lost.

Optimus chuckled deeply and leaned down towards her ear. "You need to be punished, my dear."

Y/N snapped awake and tried to escape, but Optimus quickly picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Y/N squealed and yelped. She started to hit his hexa-lateral scapula. "Prime!"

Optimus chuckled and opened his truck and laid Y/N down on the backseat of the truck. He then got in too, closed the door, locked in and climbed on top of her, both of his servos besides Y/N's head.

"Are you ready to be punished, sweetspark?" His voice was deep and seductive that it cause Y/N to shiver.

Y/N's eyes filled up with lust. "Hell yes."

Optimus then smashed his dermas against her soft lips, kissing her roughly. Y/N kissed him back with force and Optimus' glossa was already in Y/N's mouth, marking her territory as his. They both were just lost in pure pleasure that they're going fast. Let's just say that Y/N was already in lacy bra and panties. They were dark blue with a bit red like Optimus' colors. She was in love with the leader ever since she met him.

Optimus was roughly sucking and kissing her neck. "Look at you, laying underneath me, wearing my colors. You're so beautiful..."

Y/N's arms were rubbing her hands over his entire hexa-lateral scapula. She was basically exploring and even scratching his paint in pleasure. Once Optimus was done, he leaned down and literally ripped her bra off.

"H-Hey!"

Optimus didn't say anything and just kisses her chest everywhere, especially her boobs. He read on the world wide web about humans so that he can learn more. He accidentally stumbled about bodies and read everything about it. He was surprised about some facts of male and female bodies.

Optimus buried his helm between her boobs and licks everywhere. They were just so soft and warm that he couldn't keep it. He also read that when female humans gave birth to babies, then they can feed them with milk through breasts. Optimus then took a nipple and started to suck. Y/N moaned while stroking his helm. Optimus then switched and gave other nipple attention. He even bit them softly! When he bit, then Y/N flinched. Her nipples were hard.

Once Optimus was done, he moved his helm lower until he reached Y/N's panties. He actually also used his own denta to pull it down. Y/N blushed but giggled. She even lifted her ass a bit up so that Optimus could pull her panties off with his denta. Once her panties were on the floor, Optimus spread Y/N's legs open and started to eat her out. Y/N moaned loud. She felt his glossa touching sensitive spots. "P-Prime!"

Optimus hummed while his glossa went deeper. He was enjoying the taste and he loved hearing Y/N's moans, squeals, and screams of pleasure. It was like music to his audio receptors. He continued to eat her out while Y/N was moaning and panting.

"I-I'm cumming!" Y/N said while panting.

"Cum for me," Optimus said in a deep voice.

Y/N shivered and moaned loud. She then came and Optimus licked her juices up. Y/N panted while she laid her head on the seat. Who knew that all of this pleasure could make you tired. But Optimus wasn't done yet. He wanted to claim the human girl as his. Only his. He towered above Y/N and looked deep into her eyes. Her cheeks were puffing pink. "You taste delicious, my dear. But are you ready to be claimed by me?" He purred.

Y/N blushed. She wasn't gonna lie. She was slightly nervous, but she wanted to be claimed by the mighty strong Prime. "Claim me, Prime. I want you so bad. Fuck me so hard till I can't walk."

Optimus growled. He was so ready to frag her so hard till she can't walk the next day. He began to push spike, who was free, into Y/N's wet human valve. Y/N felt tears building from the pain. The Prime was just so huge that he was stretching her walls. When Optimus was full, he gave Y/N to adjust. He whispered sweet things into her ear to distract her from the pain.

When Y/N felt that the pain was gone, she wrapped her legs around his and wrapped her arms around his neck. "M-Move."

Optimus then started in and out, causing Y/N to moan. The Prime grunted a bit of pleasure. He could feel that Y/N's walls started to tighten in pleasure.

"F-Faster! H-Harder!" Y/N begged.

Optimus gladly granted her wishes and went faster and harder. He growled in pleasure and hid his faceplate in the crook of her warm neck. Y/N started to moan loud and when Optimus hit her G-spot, she screamed. "R-Right there!"

Optimus then began to slam her G-spot many times that Y/N will for sure not walk the next day. He started to bite Y/N's neck to leave more hickeys. He purred while enjoying hearing Y/N's screams and moans in pleasure. Y/N felt a knot in her stomach. She was coming close. She then screamed Optimus' name in pleasure.

"O-Optimus! I-I'm cumming!"

"Cum for me," Optimus growled while continue to slam into her.

The truck was also moving a bit. You know... when people were having sex inside an alt. And look at that, Optimus and Y/N were having sex inside Optimus' truck. Good that others weren't in the barn or else they'll ve been suspicious and shocked. Y/N was also scratching Optimus' paint since the pleasure was unbelievable.

Y/N screamed and finally came. Her juices were over Optimus' spike and he growled lowly and came to a lot. Y/N's gasped a bit when she felt his warm seed deep inside of her. Even to her womb. Some cum even dripped down. Optimus stayed inside of Y/N for a few minutes before he pulled out. He then laid beside Y/N and pulled her in his arms. The human girl snuggled and fell asleep. Optimus fell into recharge as well.

Finally done. I'm busy with other stories. I'm trying to update more on my one shots books. I'm also surprisingly thinking to make a one shot book of Bowser. King of the Koopas and a dad as well from Mario. He isn't getting attention a lot. Not all villains are that bad then you think.

[sailorbellewrites]

Jawbreaker

characters — taehyung x reader (aka kiddo) (ft. members of bts)

summary — taehyung thinks dating you is easy and it is, until it isn’t. then he doesn’t know what to do.

wordcount — 8.3k 

information — one shot. fluff. femme reader. character inspired by megan thee stallion, cardi b, and lil’ kim. direct sequel to more than you can chew. makes references to no limit. part of the baking news au. 

warnings — strong language. mean & aggressive characters. casual mentions of sex and sexual behavior (but no smut because i’m shy). light angst. excessive mentions of the color pink. vague mentions of other celebrities and influencers. 

author’s note — i meant to post this months ago, but it just didn’t want to get written. it was actually meant to be attached to more than you can chew, but it just would have been a beast of a story. i actually rewrote this part roughly three times and i am sure there are still some editing mistakes. i’m so sorry for the long wait. i’m not very happy with the final product. i promise the next story will be better. 

jawbreaker —

Taehyung really likes you.

It’s not a secret. Everyone knows it. He would shout it from the rooftops if you let him—though you would never let him do such a thing. You were certainly the cooler head when it came to relationship intensity, knowing that if Taehyung had his way, you would be married already. “Oh my god, it’s only been five months,” you once told him in response to a picture of an engagement ring he had saved on his phone. It was a typical Tuesday night date, taking place in your studio as you fiddled with the hook of a track technically meant for Hoseok. “Calm down, lover boy.”

“It’s been almost six months and I just asked if you liked it,” he had replied with a small pout, pulling your chair away from your monitor and closer to where he was sitting on the loveseat. “Isn’t it good for me to know what you like?”

“We’re not there yet,” you replied simply, shaking your head at the way he rolled his eyes at you, as though you were the one being ridiculous.

“I might as well know everything now, so I don’t mess up later. Right?” He questioned, grabbing your left hand in his and fiddling with your ring finger. 

“If we make it that far,” you muttered, laughing lightly when he pinches you for your words.

“Answer the question. Do you like it?”

“Hmm…” you hum out, a small smirk settling on your face. “I think you can do better.”

Taehyung thinks he’s in love with you.

That is a secret. No one knows it. He would shout it from the rooftops if he were sure about it—sure that you would reciprocate his feelings, sure that you loved him back; but he’s not too sure. You were almost too cool when it came to the relationship, never going above and beyond the most basic of expectations. You answered every text, showed up to every date on time, and referred to him as “the boyfriend” on a few of your Instagram posts not related to music, but that was about it. And yes, his boss Seokjin had told him that you were putting in more than enough effort for a relatively new relationship, but Taehyung still found himself craving for more.

“But what more could she give you?” Seokjin asks during closing one night, his own soon-to-be fianceé (if everything went according to plan) mopping up the front of the bakery. Seokjin flips chairs on the top of tables, while Taehyung wipes down the now empty display racks. It’s a team effort that allows Taehyung to leave earlier, something he is always grateful for because he can spend more time with you. “Like do you want her to write a song about you?”

“I mean, yes.”

“You’re insane.”

“Just something, you know? Something more than studio dates and donuts. I feel like that’s all we ever do. What do you think, Noona? Am I asking for too much?” Taehyung questions, directing his words to the older woman up front. 

She stops her mopping and shrugs, leaning against a wall as she mulls over her answer. Her eyes go towards Seokjin as finally states, “I’d have to agree with Jin. But we have half of our dates in the kitchen after hours, so maybe we’re the wrong people to ask.” Taehyung sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “If you’re not feeling satisfied, though, you should just talk to her about it. You know what they say, communication is key.”

“I don’t know how she would feel about that,” he replies, imagining just how easy it would be for you to misunderstand him or write him off as needy—though he didn’t exactly think being needy for you was a problem. 

“Aww, don’t be like that. You never know what she might say. She could surprise you.”

At this time, Seokjin flips the last chair on top of its table and moves toward his girlfriend with a cheesy grin. “Wow, what is this mess? You call this mopping? Have you ever mopped before? Have you ever held a mop before? If you needed help from a master cleaner like me, you could have just asked sweetheart,” he teases, grabbing the mop from her hand and pressing a sloppy kiss to her forehead.

His girlfriend cringes away from the kiss for a moment, but ends up leaning into the man nonetheless as she whispers, “You get what you pay for.”

He scoffs. “I don’t pay you.”

“Exactly,” she replies smugly, hand going up to pick dried frosting off of her boyfriend’s collar. Seokjin lets out a choked laugh, arm slipping around her shoulders and pressing her into a too tight hug. She pretends to struggle against him for a bit, before eventually wrapping both her arms around his waist and squeezing just as tightly.

Taehyung watches the silly display of affection with wide eyes, warmth flooding into his heart. The two people in front of him were so clearly in love that he couldn’t help but feel it too. It was plain as day. This behavior wasn’t something he was often able to do with you though. Taehyung understands well that no matter what he did or said to you, your responses would always be carefully calculated. He respects how methodical you are in the way you carry yourself, as though you are afraid something could go wrong at any moment. He knows it’s not easy, which is why his admiration for your handling of relationships in a notoriously cut throat industry grew almost everyday. 

Yes, Taehyung knows he loves you. 

Yet, as he watches the way Seokjin and his girlfriend begin to playfully fight over the mop, an intense love in their eyes, Taehyung finds himself wishing that you would let go and love him too. 

.

.

People don’t always believe that you’re a rapper. They tend to assume that you’re Hoseok’s girlfriend or a groupie when they meet you, failing to make the connection that you’re the infamous Kiddo until they see you on stage. You know why, of course. You’re the only woman in your crew, you’re nowhere near as popular as the other guys, and you don’t dress like a rapper. Or at least, that’s what Yoongi told you one night as you shared a cigarette behind the bar after a performance. 

“It’s the biggest thing holding you back,” he mumbled, the cigarette between his lips looking like it would slip out at any moment. You knew it wouldn’t, but you still eyed it carefully just in case. Attempting to quit had made you hyperaware of its presence, but you knew Yoongi wouldn’t let it drop. He was always so in control—one of many things about him that you envied. “You look like you’re ready to fuck at the drop of a dime.”

“Maybe I am,” you had grumbled back, eyes still on the cigarette. His words were trying your patience, though you didn’t know if your irritation was caused by their truthfulness or your desire to smoke. “Do you have a problem? Cause I can solve it for you.” 

“I don’t care if you dress like a whore,” he snapped at you. “Goddamn, you’re being a bitch tonight. Here, take this!” He snatched his half smoked cigarette out of his own mouth in annoyance, shoving it at you. You accepted it happily, choosing to ignore his insults in favor of savoring in your relapse.

You had long ago realized that most of the men around you would never understand how you dressed. The clothes you wore for performances and photoshoots were provocative to say the least. Vibrantly colored lingerie, leather, lace, and heels most others would deem too tall for comfort littered your closet. Your hair was always meticulously styled and your nails were always done in extravagant fashion. You made sure that your outfits highlighted as much of your body as possible, keeping all eyes on you. It was a far cry from the hoodies and occasional leather jackets sported by your friends, but you didn’t care. Your clothes made you feel powerful. The image you had constructed and thoroughly maintained worked to push your career further, making you stand out in the sea of sameness that had become common for the rappers around you. But those in your circle never see it that way.

Taehyung does, though. Taehyung watches with rapt attention as you show him the new pieces you buy, listening carefully as you explain why certain tops have to be paired with certain bottoms for maximum effect. He wordlessly takes pictures of you with various filters and backgrounds, never complaining when you ask him to take more because you don’t think they are good enough. He doesn’t tease you when you get cold from the lack of fabric, nor does he yell at you when you have unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions like the guys. Instead, he offers you his sweaters or quickly adjusts your clothes before you can even notice the problems. Taehyung knows just how important your image is to you.

Or at least, you thought he did.

“What?” You question, tone edging on impatient as his reflection continues to stare you down in the mirror. You refuse to turn around and face him physically, trying to keep your focus on the highlight you’re attempting to apply in the inner corner of your eye without poking yourself. The tension in your small bathroom is suffocating, but you don’t want to act on it. An argument is the last thing you need. 

“I always watch you do your makeup,” Taehyung answers robotically, eyes still on you.

“Yeah, but—”

“But?” He cuts you off, making you pause your motions in shock. He’s angry and you don’t know why. It puts you both in unfamiliar territory. While Taehyung has seen you angry a million and one times over small things relating to music, venues, promoters, and fans, you cannot say the same for him. The angriest he had ever gotten in front of you came when he suddenly had to pick up extra shifts at the bakery because a coworker had caused a car accident and that moment was nothing like this. 

“Can you just stop fucking looking at me like that? I’m trying to concentrate.” 

He lets out a tense laugh of disbelief at your words before exiting your bathroom and moving to sit on the small couch in your living room. He’s not surprised to find you following him less than a minute later—you were never one to back down from a fight and you both were in the beginning stages of one. When you position yourself directly in front of him, he drops his head to hands and averts his eyes to the floor in a desperate attempt to calm himself down. 

“What crawled up your ass and died tonight?” You ask.

“Go finish your makeup,” he requests quietly, words stilted as he refuses to look up at you.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothi—”

 “It’s not nothing. Don’t lie to me. You can’t even look at me right now.”

Taehyung’s head shoots up at your words, jaw clenching as he realizes his efforts to stay calm were futile because he can’t look at you without feeling another wave of anger crash over him. “Your outfit,” he bites out.

“My outfit?” You parrot back to him in sarcastic disbelief. “You’re staring at me like I fucked your best friend and murdered your mom over… an outfit?”

“You might as well have,” he mumbles under his breath, before stating a bit louder, “It’s lingerie.” 

He says it as though it’s obvious, but it’s not to you. “I-I… a-are you serious?” You stutter out, mind still trying to process his words. Taehyung doesn’t verbally respond, choosing to move his eyes back to the floor instead. You wrack your brain for the right thing to say, because what you actually want to say would likely lead to a breakup and you absolutely don’t want that to happen. You feel as though you’ve been transported into a particularly cruel episode of The Twilight Zone, where you watch your perfect boyfriend turn into one of your evil exes right before your eyes. “I… I wear lingerie for shows all the time. You’ve never had a problem before this. Hell, this covers more of me than what I was wearing earlier today. You didn’t seem to mind then.”

“It’s different.”

“How?” You shout out, frustration evident in your tone. 

“You wore that for me a month ago,” he replies, looking up at you incredulously. His blood began to boil the moment you opened your apartment door, immediately realizing that you had planned to perform in the black lace set. You were even wearing the same black and gold heels with it. He knew for a fact that you bought the lingerie for him, a slightly belated birthday present given to him in your studio. You made him cum as many times as it took to get tears running down his face, then took him to your place and cooked him his favorite food for dinner. He almost told you he loved you then, but decided against it lest you believed he was exaggerating his appreciation for your actions. It was the single most sentimental thing you had done for him in your relationship thus far and you knew just how sentimental Taehyung could get. In his mind, you should have known better than to think that he would want to share any part of that night with the world. 

You look down at your clothes, eyes acknowledging that it was indeed the set you purchased with his birthday in mind. It took you hours to find, trudging through the bitter cold to four different lingerie stores before you settled on it. However, you still didn’t see the problem. “So what? It’s not like it has your cum stains on it or anything.” 

“God, do you always have to be—don’t be crude right now. I’m being serious,” he grits out, feeling intensely out of control.

“Well what would you prefer I say?” You ask, exasperation heavy in your tone. You feel tired and annoyed, knowing this argument might affect your performance later in the night.

“I want you to say that you’ll change.”

“No,” you reply after a beat, a dark laugh surrounding the word, though it lacks any humor. “No fucking way. I’m not changing.” You couldn’t believe that he was asking you to do such a thing. It wasn’t the first time that a person you were dating had made such a request—in fact, your ex had made the request often and it was equally as often ignored. However, it was the first time Taehyung had asked you to change and all you could feel was hurt. You couldn’t believe he fell so easily into the simple trap of insecurity that had tainted your previous relationships. “Look, unless you have a real reason for me to change, you’re just gonna have to get over yourself.”

 “I just gave you a real reason,” he stresses bitterly. “And if you cared about me at all—”

“It’s not about caring for you, Tae! They are just clothes. They don’t do anything, but sit on my body and make me feel good. You, of all people, know that. It’s stupid to as—”

“It’s not stupid to ask you to keep some things private!” He yells, up on his feet with a fire raging in his eyes. You can feel your heart beating hard in your chest, nerves getting the better of you because you aren’t used to this level of rage from him. It’s a feeling both too familiar and too uncomfortable at the same time. It was everything you didn’t want in another relationship and everything Taehyung had promised not to be through his sweet words and actions—and yet you found yourself back there again. “You’re not wearing regular clothes or basic lingerie you buy just to perform in. You bought that specifically for me! You had sex with me in that. So now everyone at your show and everyone who follows you online is going to know exactly what you look like when you fuck me. I didn’t sign up to share that part of my life with the whole goddamn world!”

His rant finishes in a roar, the last sentence screamed so loudly that the final words come out hoarse and broken. His eyes are rimmed red, but he continues to stand tall, bracing himself as he expects you to respond in kind.

You don’t.

Rather, he watches you take a large step back and whisper, “Get out.”

“What?” He responds dumbly, unable to fully comprehend your words. It wasn’t in your nature to extinguish fights so completely, preferring to keep going until disagreements had naturally run their course or threats of violence had been made. You never walked away and you certainly never let others walk away. This was different. This hurt.

“You don’t get to yell at me over clothes. You don’t get to yell at me, period. So get out.” 

You watch as Taehyung takes in the full meaning of your words, opening his mouth briefly as though he wants to argue more, but closing it again. Giving you a rough nod, you can do nothing but watch as he grabs his jacket, slips on his shoes, and exits your apartment, slamming the door in his wake. 

.

.

Eight days. Eight long days. Eight miserable days. Eight long, miserable days of Taehyung slowly losing his mind. You had not spoken to him or seen him in eight days. Every single attempt he made to contact you was ignored. If it weren’t for read receipts and the fact that you had kept all the pictures of him up on your Instagram, he would have assumed that you were broken up. Although, at this point, he would have preferred a break up. At least, he could have made moves to win you back. This current situation left him stuck with nowhere to go.

“What do I do?”

“Well you can start,” Namjoon states, setting a pastel pink mug engraved with his wedding date down in front of his friend, “by drinking that.” Taehyung stares at the clear liquid inside of the cup curiously before shrugging his shoulders and taking a swig. His tongue instantly curls back into his mouth as his taste buds are assaulted by a strong, bitter flavor. He slams the mug back down on the coffee table with a gag. Namjoon lets out a chuckle at his reaction, sitting down beside him with a matching mug of his own. “Drink slow.”

“Is this vodka?”

“A strong drink for strong business,” Namjoon responds, taking a sip of whatever he has poured into his own cup. Namjoon had invited him over at the end of his shift, taking note of how much Taehyung had been moping around the shop. His mood was bad for business, apparently, and Namjoon was the ultimate fixer when it came to those sorts of things. “Now I think I know what happened, but can you tell me your side of things again?”

Taehyung throws his head back, staring at the ceiling as he recounts the argument once more. It’s all he’s been able to think about, hyper focusing on every sour facial expression and negative word you said. It makes his heart hurt; he misses you. “And then she told me to get out, so I did. I haven’t spoken to her since.”

“Ouch. How long has it been?”

“Eight long days and counting.”

“Damn, I guess she knows how to hold a grudge. Good for her,” Namjoon comments with a light laugh, as though he was impressed by your actions. Taehyung wants to scream, but he settles for a deep scowl. “But I really don’t think you have anything to worry about Tae. She still claims that she is very much taken. You aren’t broken up or anything.”

“I just want her to talk to me,” Taehyung whines, hands running through his hair in distress. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed and just fought it out.” Namjoon laughs at his words, but Taehyung continues, “I keep listening to her songs just to hear her voice, but it’s not enough. I don’t want Kiddo saying she’ll fuck me to sleep, I only want her.”

Namjoon snorts, nudging his younger friend with his shoulder. “That’s so stupid, Tae. You know you can’t have one without the other. They are the same person. If you keep separating her into different parts in your head, the two of you are gonna keep having these problems.”

Taehyung hums out a confused note. “What do you mean?”

“Your girlfriend is kind of like a jawbreaker.”

Taehyung grunts, reaching for his mug again. “Listen, if you’re about to describe all the ways she’s going to keep hurting me, don’t bother. Jungkook already did that—twice. And it was worse the second time around.”

“I mean the candy,” Namjoon starts, pausing to take another sip of his drink as he contemplates the best way to continue. Taehyung thinks Namjoon is the only other person in the world whose way with words rivals your own. He speaks with a certain amount of care and consideration that make Taehyung jealous. Perhaps, if he were more like Namjoon, he wouldn’t be in this mess. “A jawbreaker is this candy ball that’s really popular abroad,” he continues. “They are huge, big, and sweet—but hard. You can’t bite through them like normal candy. You’ll break your teeth or dislocate your jaw if you try, thus the name jawbreaker. If you want to eat it and enjoy it, you have to suck it down.”

“If this turns into some sex thing, I swear to god—”

“It’s a metaphor, you pervert. Keep up.” Namjoon chastises.

“You’re the pervert,” Taehyung mutters gruffly under his breath, taking a long swig of the vodka in his cup. “Fine. Continue.”

“Jawbreakers have different layers and flavors. The more you suck on it, the more layers you’ll get to experience; but at the end of the day, it’s still all the same candy.”

“I hate this metaphor.”

“You hate it because you don’t understand it,” the older man says sagely, giving his friend a slow head tilt. “It’s really quite simple if you think about it.”

Taehyung clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Just spit it out, Joon!”

“She’s a sweet girl, Tae. You and I both know that. You approached her because you were attracted to her, but you stayed because she’s obviously more than a pretty face. She’s just not always going to be that easy to digest though—at least not all the time. Sometimes you might get the layer that cooked you dinner for your birthday and other times you might get the layer that thinks nearly nude bar fights are appropriate. It’s still the same candy, just like it’s still the same girl. You have to take your time with her like you would a jawbreaker.”

Taehyung’s ears perk up at Namjoon’s words, panic shooting through him as he questions, “Did she get into a naked fight?”

“Last year. It didn’t start nak—don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung places his cup back on the table, dropping his head forward with a deep sigh. “So you’re saying I just…  have to wait this out until she’s ready to be with me again?”

“Well she hasn’t technically left you yet.”

“And you’re sure there is nothing else I can do? There’s nothing here that I’m missing? I don’t want to wait anymore. I just want to be with her.”

“I know that, but if you want to be with her, you just have to accept who she is. Don’t think she’ll change or come running back to you just because you do something extravagant. She’s not gonna suddenly see your point of view or be rescued from her own bad judgement. You’re not actually her hero, Tae. That’s not how life works.”

“Things are fine when she’s not wrapped up in her whole Kiddo persona—”

Namjoon cut him off with an annoyed groan, shaking his head roughly. “You’re not getting it. You say you want to be with her, right? That means you want to be with all of her, including all the shitty ‘Kiddo’ flavors and colors that go along with it.”

“But—”

“Kiddo isn’t just a persona. It’s her. And if you don’t like it, maybe you don’t need to be with her.”

Taehyung wants to argue back, but can’t find the resolve to do so as guilt and shame begin to settle in his chest. He never consciously thought that his favorite parts of you were separate from your rap identity, but he couldn’t fight Namjoon’s words. While he respected the more sexually aggressive side that came with your career, he clearly adored the soft and sweet side of you more. He wonders, glumly, if he’s treated you differently because of his preference, only to be crushed by the realization that the argument proved he had been. 

“I’m in love with her,” Taehyung murmurs quietly, making Namjoon sit up. Everyone knew Taehyung’s feelings for you were strong, but no one expected love to be in the cards. Sure, it had been closing in on a year in terms of a relationship, but on the outside looking in, things still appeared fairly casual between the two of you. Your behavior from day one hadn’t changed at all. 

“Is that right? Are you sure?”

Taehyung nods, words coming out like a stream of conscious thoughts. “I love her. I’ve known for months. It’s just sometimes… I feel like I get more Kiddo than I do—I mean you’re right, they’re the same person, she’s just one person. I just wanted something that didn’t have to be a part of her image for once. I was never trying to control her or separate her, but I just…” He stops when he can no longer think of what to say, leaning back into the couch with his eyes going up to the ceiling. 

“I know,” Namjoon states suddenly, “and she knows too. She’s not innocent in all of this. I told her as much when I saw her.”

This information shocks Taehyung. “You spoke to her?” The older man hums an affirmative sound and nods. “When?” 

“A few days ago. She came into the bakery.”

“She came in?” Taehyung asks, voice increasing in pitch as he turns to fully face Namjoon. “Where was I? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Calm down, Tae. You were off. She just wanted donuts, but didn’t want to see you,” he answers with a mild shrug. “It’s probably better that you weren’t there. Jungkook refused to serve her and then Hoseok started arguing with him and threats started flying—it was a mess.” Taehyung groans, knowing that if anything, Jungkook’s actions only made you more angry at him. “But Jin and I were able to calm things down.” 

“Do I even want to know what she said?”

“To Jungkook? A lot. Your girl has a hell of a mouth on her. I haven’t heard some of the words she used in years. Seokjin was blushing.” Taehyung lets out a sad laugh, thoughts racing with all the possible things you could have said. Part of him wished he was able to hear all the things you had uttered and seen the shocked look on people’s faces, but he supposed it was better that he wasn’t around. “But to me?” Namjoon continued, “Not much. Things involving your sex life should be private. It’s just going to cause problems in the future if she keeps trying to bring it to the stage. She knows better.”

“So you told her I was right?”

“You were both wrong,” Namjoon replies smoothly. “You shouldn’t have tried to force her hand and she shouldn't have crossed that line. Neither of you were thinking of each other. You can’t be selfish in a relationship.” There is a beat of silence, Namjoon’s statement lingering in the air for a moment. “I know how some people feel about her, but I actually like you two together. In all the years that I’ve known her, I don’t think she’s ever been with someone who cares about her like you do.” Taehyung can’t help the small smile that tugs at the corner of his lips, nodding slowly at Namjoon’s words. “Just give her a little bit more time. Things will work out.”

.

.

He looks at you like he’s seen a ghost. He feels like he’s seen a ghost. It’s been ten days.

“Hi,” you say quietly. You come off as shy, eyes bouncing around the displays, but never settling directly on Taehyung even though he’s right across from you. It feels odd, not at all like how your relationship normally functions. Any other day would have found you leaning the entire upper half of your body on the counter, throwing out suggestive quips as you ordered in an attempt to make Taehyung stutter. Your current lack of confidence is startling, causing Taehyung to stare at you for a few seconds longer than normal as he searches for any changes in your face, hair, and shape. It’s only been ten days, but he knows just how much can change in ten days. Relief floods through his system when comes to find that—physically—you look just as he expects you to. 

Finally, he breathes out an equally gentle, “Hi, stranger.”

The tease hits you harder than he intended it to, with your back straightening out and eyes narrowing. “I’m a stranger now?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you in ten days…” he trails off, the sarcastic lilt to his tone making you visibly bristle with discontent. 

You should have expected the cold shoulder, given how long you had gone without speaking to him. You needed more time to process than you realized and going to your friends didn’t help. To say opinions were divided on the matter was an understatement. Some people were disgusted by what you wore, while others were furious with Taehyung’s behavior. You were most surprised by Hoseok, who normally sided with you when it came to relationship troubles. This time, however, he turned his nose up at your outfit choice and referred to the various ways Taehyung had attempted to reach out to you as “pathetic and underserved.” Yoongi had no strong opinions one way or the other, but his fianceé had plenty to say (which only served to rile you up again). She couldn’t believe how serious his demands were and how easily he left your house. She wondered, quite loudly, where the sweet and perfect Taehyung had gone. 

But it was actually Namjoon’s words that dealt a huge blow to your ego. He dressed you down in a way that only he could, never raising his voice or calling you names, but calmly explaining all of your missteps to you until you felt smaller than a coffee cup. His final words had been running around your head for days: “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but sometimes it pays to be soft. You can’t have a successful relationship if you’re going to be so hard all the time.”

Thinking of his words once again, you inhale slowly to calm the little fires building in your heart. “I’m sorry for that,” you start, taking another deep breath before continuing by saying, “I shouldn’t have ignored you. It was wrong.”

Taehyung takes in a shocked breath of his own at your apology. He had expected a bit more pushback or an apology without actually saying the words. You were never one to easily admit when you were wrong, your pride being too strong for such casual admittances of guilt. Your repentance most often came in the form of covering drink tabs or ordering food. This sort of softness was new to him and all he could feel was thankful. 

Leaning over the counter, he grabs your hand in his own and presses a gentle kiss to the back of it, smiling widely when you don’t pull away. “I’m really sorry too. I mean it. I know I must have told you a hundred times already, but I cr—”

“It’s okay,” you stop him, squeezing his hand gently so that he knows you are serious. “Namjoon said that we’re both idiots. We’ve said our sorries and I want to just leave it at that.”

Taehyung lets out a short chuckle at your words, pressing another kiss to the back of your hand because he finally gets to hold it again. “ Well, I would never call you an idiot. I’m more than ready to leave things be if you are. I really, really missed you.” 

“I—”

“Hey Tae, can you help out in the bac—oh!” You let go of Taehyung’s hands quickly as he turns to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen doorway, a tray of bread in his hands and his eyes locked on your in a fierce glare. “You really came back here? What? Was there nobody to free off of at the Krispy Kreme?” He questions, audacity laced through his words. It was clear that there was no love lost between the two of you.

You roll your eyes dramatically, spitting out, “Bite me, bread bitch.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise at your insult, visibly tensing up. He opens his mouth to retaliate, Taehyung sharply states, “Don’t start!” Jungkook’s jaw locks in frustration, eyes shooting to his coworker in anger, but Taehyung keeps going. “Not right here and not right now. Seokjin will kill us. Bite each other’s heads off later, outside of the shop. Please!” Although there were very few people in the bakery, it was beginning to gain a small reputation amongst the older crowd for being a place for “rough housers;” Seokjin and Namjoon would crawl into individual balls and die if another incident occurred.

Jungkook clicks his tongue in annoyance, but otherwise relents, quickly placing the tray on the counter. “Hurry up and finish whatever this is. There’s a big takeout order of macarons that we need to get finished before five.” Taehyung nods in affirmation, a pleading look in his eyes that appeases Jungkook enough to send him back into the kitchen. 

“I fucking hate him,” you grumble as soon as the younger man disappears through the door.

Taehyung turns to face you, reaching for your hand again only to find that you have shoved both of them in the pockets of your coat. “He’s just over protective, that’s all. You should have seen him when he found out who his sister was dating. Once you get to know him, you’ll se—”

“I don’t want to get to know him,” you state matter-of-factly. “He’s an idiot who thinks I’m using you for fucking donuts. Honestly, who would risk falling in love for donuts? They’re good, but they’re not that good. You can buy donuts anywhere.”

Taehyung stiffens, mouth dropping open in shock as he takes in the full implication of your words. Did you love him too? You had never said anything even mildly similar to him. You didn’t talk about your feelings for him unless pressed and even then your answers were short. Confessions of desire and attraction were saved for intimate moments in your studio or his apartment, where no one but Taehyung could hear them. Even then, they were often cushioned between jokes that led to him scolding you, telling to stop pretending that you didn’t like him. You never seemed close to confessing love, but your words made it appear as though you had been in love with him all along. 

“Did you just… say you love me?” He questions quickly, mind still reeling. 

“Huh” You question, the confusion that washes across your features slowly melting away as you come to realize the implication of your words. It doesn’t surprise Taehyung when you mutter, “I didn’t say that,” but his heart drops to the bottom of his stomach anyway. The small flame of hope he carried in his heart extinguished momentarily, as he mentally kicked himself for getting his hopes up. He was lucky you were even talking to him again—a declaration of love was just ridiculous. Life wasn’t a hallmark movie. He didn’t know what he was thinking. 

Biting back his disappointment, Taehyung swallows before replying, “I misunderstood. That’s not even what you were talking about.” You blink slowly at his words, eyes shining as though you have something to say; however, you just end up biting your lip and casting your gaze down. “Just… please don’t even think about Kook, okay?” Taehyung pleads, wanting nothing more than to grab you in a hug or kiss your cheek to get the physical reassurance that things were completely okay between the two of you. Instead, he settles on asking, “Can I see you after work tonight? I get off at six and I can bring you some takeout.”

You break into a small smile, nodding your head once. “Bring a donut and some hot chocolate and you have a deal.”

.

.

You really like Taehyung.

It’s not a secret. Everyone knows it. You would write about him in all of your songs if you could—though, of course, you could never do such a thing. You didn’t want to subject Taehyung to that type of scrutiny, knowing all too well how many problems came along with dating a rapper when they weren’t waxing poetic about their relationships on tracks. People ate up those types of songs, only to place severe judgements on the rapper’s partner as though they were an expert. “You never talk about me in your songs,” he once told you, referencing a song called “Fiancé” that had been released by one of your friends. It was a typical Tuesday night date, taking place during closing time in Baking News as Taehyung mopped the floor around your feet. He taps your legs lightly with the edge of his shoe. “Isn’t that kind of weird?”

“It’s too much work,” you had replied, kicking your feet up so he could mop underneath them. He thanks you quietly, quickly getting to work so that you can lower your feet once more. “People are gonna read too much into it and make all of our lives a living hell. Just as Yoongi.”

“So you’re never gonna write about me?” He questioned jokingly, setting the mop to the side to hover over your seated form.

“I write about you,” you quickly retorted, craning your head up to look at him. He leans down and places a small peck on your lips, going in for a second with a small hum. “It’s just for my eyes and ears only.”

“Don’t you think I deserve to see?” He said, standing again to resume his task. From the kitchen, you hear the telltale sign of metal pans dropping. It’s followed by a loud, yet muffled “fuck” from Seokjin and the laughter is his girlfriend. 

“I don’t think you’ll like all the things I have to say about you, lover boy.”

“Hmm…” he hums in a mocking way, facing away from you as he works on a particular sticky patch on the floor. “I’m going to disagree with you there. I like everything about you, even the cheesy love songs you write about me.”

“Who said the songs I write about you are love songs?” You quip, making him turn to you quickly and point the edge of the mop at you accusingly.

“Stop pretending that you don’t like me!” 

You think you love Taehyung.

That is a secret. No one knows it. You would write about it in all of your songs if you were sure about it—sure that he would reciprocate your feelings, sure that he wouldn’t leave you high and dry when the going got tough and things had to happen that he didn’t like. But you weren’t sure; relationships were always a gamble and you knew the stressors would only grow when your career really took off. One wrong outfit choice had Taehyung turning into your exes right before your eyes. It made you wonder what would happen if you did the wrong collaboration or wrote the wrong lyrics. You tried your best to make it clear to Taehyung that you didn’t want to be in yet another awful relationship filled with fights and arguments, but it seemed like a real possibility regardless of your efforts. It was a tough pill to swallow.

And yet, as you stared at the lanky man seated on your couch, watching as he tried to sneak yet another picture of you wearing the custom, pink bunny ear headphones he got you for Christmas, you knew that you didn’t want to let him go.

“Put the phone away!”

“Just smile for me one time.”

“Stop.”

“I haven’t taken a picture of you in almost two weeks. My Instagram story is dying without. Let me take a picture.” He leans closer, laughing when you move to smack his phone on the floor, but miss.

You groan deeply, shaking your head at his antics. “It was not two weeks. You’re so goddamn dramatic.” You find yourself smiling for him nonetheless, legitimately laughing at him as he moves his phone around to catch you at different angles. After about 10 clicks of the camera shutter, you move to knock the phone away again. “Cut it out, Tae.”

“I’m not finished,” he whines out, though he still continues clicking away.

“Who died and made you paparazzi?”

“I’m better than the paparazzi. I’m your number one fan,” he murmurs, pushing your arms away from his phone. “You gotta get used to this, especially if you’re gonna be the number one rhyme killer in Korea.” He explains, bringing up a potential new tag Hoseok had come up with a few weeks ago.

“That’s more than enough for your Instagram story.”

He huffs in faux annoyance, leaning back on the love seat to scroll through all the pictures he took. “These aren’t even for my Instagram,” he reveals, tone still playful. “It’s for me only. I’m the only one who deserves to see you this cute. I gotta at least have that to myself.” You scoff loudly at this, anger filling your chest instantly. You know that he only means it as a joke, not realizing exactly what he was insinuating with his words—but it still stings, the wound from your previous fight not completely healed. “What’s wrong?” He questions, only to panic when you let out an annoyed grunt and turn around in your chair. It takes it a moment to click in his head, and then he’s sitting up, dropping his phone and pulling at your chair to try and turn you back around. “Baby, it was a joke. I promise, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying that I wasn’t going to put them on social media. Nothing more.”

“I didn’t know studio time had to be kept private too,” you reply sarcastically, planting your feet firmly on the floor to resist Taehyung’s actions.

“I didn’t mean that. Come here,” he says, pulling you with more strength until you’re facing him again. “Don’t be mad at me. You know how I feel about you. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.”

You shake your head, trying to remember Namjoon’s words and not start another argument. You fight to keep your voice level as you say, “Sometimes I think I know how you feel, but then you say things like that and I start to question your intentions.”

Taehyung is silent for a moment, eyes busily searching your face for something, though you cannot tell if he finds it. He reaches for both of your hands, cradling them in his gently as though they will break in any moment. “Don’t say things like that. You know my intentions and you know exactly how I feel.”

“I don—”

“I’m in love with you,” he interrupts you, squeezing your hands in his when he realizes what he’s confessed. You’re mildly shocked by his words, eyes widening like saucers. He takes your silence as rejection and starts to ramble. “If you don’t love me back, it’s okay. I’m not… you know I’ve been attracted to you for a long time, so of course I’d fall faster than you. But I can wait for you to fall in love with me too. I waited for months for you to even accept going on a date with me, so you know I’m patient. Just don’t question my intentions, I only want the be—” 

“If you love me, then why do you want to have me all to yourself?” You question, voice meek. 

He furrows his brows, irritation painting his features before they soften once more. “That’s not… I don’t want to keep you all to myself. That’s not even possible. You’re Kiddo,” he teases lightly, “Loved by everyone and belonging to no one.”

“But, obviously you want to keep certain parts of under wraps. For your eyes only, you know? And I just don’t get how you can say that you love me, but you want to control me like this.”

He sighs deeply, head falling forward as he admits, “It’s just… we don’t have anything, you know? We don’t have a single thing that we do that’s just our thing. Dates in the studio, hanging out in the bakery, watching old movies on my couch, even sex now—it’s all things we do other people too. And I know, I really know that your career comes first right now. I just sometimes want… more.”

You bite your lip, Namjoon’s words once again becoming prominent in your head. Removing your hands from Taehyung’s, you spin around in your chair to face your desk. Taehyung tries to stop you once more, his argument falling on deaf ears as you quickly grab the pink notebook sitting and hand it to him. “Look through it,” you order. 

He stares at the book in his hand, knowing exactly what it is, but still unsure as to why you gave it to him. “Baby, what’s in here?”

“You said you want more. There is it,” you answer, before turning back around to face your monitor. The sound of pages turning makes you anxious, so you slip your headphones on and load up a messy track that you had been having trouble with. Time passes by slowly and your heart can’t stop fluttering as you think about all of the pages he has to look through and all of the words he has to read. Taehyung is thorough. He’ll give each page the time it deserves, regardless of how nervous you feel. Time ticks on. You turn up the volume on your headphones.

You do not know for certain how many minutes have passed when your headphones are suddenly knocked off of your ears; all that you know is when you turn around to berate him for his act, his lips are covering yours in a harsh kiss. You only briefly return the kiss, pushing against his chest to get him off of you, though he only moves an inch away from your face. “You’re in love with me,” he accuses wryly, a big smile on his face. His hands settle on your waist, squeezing gently in delight.

“If you tell anyone I let you read that, I’ll kill you,” you respond, though you can’t get the tone of your voice to reflect your words. His happiness is contagious and you can feel yourself soften in his embrace. “I’m serious, Tae. No one is allowed to read that notebook.” Your lyric notebook was something you kept to yourself, only sharing a select few pages with those around you when you were going to lay down vocals. For your eyes and ears only. Sharing it in its entirety with Taehyung was already a big step, never mind what you actually had written in there.

“But, wait. What are the numbers for?”

“What numbers?” You feign confusion.

“The numbers on the last page of the book.” You roll your eyes at his words and he nudges his nose against yours. “No time for lies now, I already know that you’re in love with me.”

“Days without cigarettes,” you mumble. His smile somehow becomes even wider, so large that you think his face might split in two. “I swear to god, Taehyung, if you tell any of the guys about this, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you myself.”

“I love you and you love me and you write love songs about me,” he teases. He hoists you up to your feet, pulling you into his body and wrapping his arms around you. You follow his lead, burying your face in his chest. “You’re even quitting smoking for me. How did I get so lucky to have a woman who loves me so much?”

“Stop it,” you whine, face flushing with embarrassment.

“Stop pretending that you don’t love me,” he whispers, hands moving up to cup your face gently. The way he looks at you reminds you of your first date. It leaves you completely vulnerable. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”

“Donuts and hot chocolate and lyric notebooks. That’s our thing. Nobody else can share those with you or me. Deal?”

“Deal!” He agrees quickly, leaning down as though he’s about to kiss you, but stopping short just before his lips press against yours. “I knew you were a softy,” he coos, pressing a kiss to your lips before you can reply. You allow yourself to enjoy it. 

.

.

[fmdminheearchive]

hello! it’s me, the perpetually absent as of late mun of minhee, eunah, dowoon & seungwoo. to summarize: i’ve been having the worst luck irl for about three months straight. it’s been one thing after another and i no longer am able to tell you what day of the week it is. (like, really.) great, now that that’s over, consider this my plot call for the new quarter. i’ve decided to plot for all my muses through minhee’s account & my d!scord to try and keep everything together as well, so please like/reply to this post for anything under the cut that interests you for any of my kids! i’ve really missed you, famed <3

minhee

of course, all of these schedules, and the other group ones, are open for threads with lipstick members as a given!! the special mv filming, their fan signs, etc!! 

and anyone who wants to do a volunteering thread, yes please! <3 bc muses, minhee is so here to bitch about bc between takes for the documentary... and then she’ll go all i lov my family <3 at the concert like a week later but nvm that.

lipstick are promoting hurt locker from july 15 - august 15, so if that crosses over with any of your muses’ promotional periods, please feel free to hit minhee and me up, because oh god, she is so bored of waiting around backstage at music shows. she’ll happily cause some mischief or assuage any nerves or anything else!

ulsan music festival : for muses in decipher, knight, charm, unity, aria, impulse, fuse, femme fatale or vive! maybe minhee almost makes your muse late for their set, or maybe they have a real heart to heart in the dressing rooms after they catch minhee yelling about her shorts riding up one too many times.

suwon kt wiz supporters festival : for muses in gal.actic or aria! omg hot girl shit here. anyways, minhee hates the outfits lipstick are dressed in here, so she’ll probably be complaining about being a sexy delivery driver. gal.actic muses will have to deal with her asking them to teach her the choreo for fri. sat. sun. because she loves it so much. 

daegu chimaek festival : for muses in bee, gal.actic or silhouette! more hot girl shit! bee and silhouette muses please forgive minhee for being a clingy lover of both groups, even into her hag era. same as above applies for gal.actic muses -- idk, part 2: she gets you to film fri. sat. sun. tiktoks with her.

haeundae hite concert : minhee hates their outfits, part 2. loves bee, part 2.

hallyu dream concert : ok i’m not typing out everyone who’s performing here, but if your muse is!! hit up minhee!! she’s got a flannel shirt around her waist that she will be slipping out of and using as a lasso (no one point out to her that she could just... untie it...)

eunah

same again, everything 7rophy-wise obviously is all open for 7rophy members!! dumdi dumdi prep & promo stuff and all that! 

volunteering stuff with anyone is open!! & the photoshoot with any other dimensions idols is open too!!

has her solo comeback on july 20th!! basically is promoting nonstop all summer and is . suffering a lot, it’s really hard on her.

chinese international students’ festival : for muses in alien, lucid, silhouette or impulse! eunah is ... not gonna be in a good mood, so pretty much, uh, this (and the other festival 7rophy are performing at), would be pretty good opportunities for maybe some old friends to see the return of bitchy/icy eunah, or for her to shock some new friends with her attitude!!

cheonan world dance festival : for muses in lucid, silhouette or fuse! see above, basically. 

dowoon

bc muses come get your x-rays with dowoon!! he’ll hate it!! alternatively, come hang out at the anniversary concert with dowoon!! he’s ok with it!!

someone please come animal shelter volunteering with this boy, he loves animals so so much.

so, charm’s on tour in japan for most of this quarter! charmies ( dowoon says : bleh but you know the way nctzens call dream members the dreamies ... yeah ... ) please hit me up for some dowoon tour bitching. he really hates fallin’ flower. like, more than anything. please indulge his complaints, or totally disagree with him! maybe him and one of the other charmies could have a massive falling out on tour :eyes: drama. he’s just grumpy bc he’s away from wang for so long.

but on the bright side, he loves home;run so much, so on the total flip of the last point, charmies please come have fun with him!! fun, of course, means long hours in the dance studio even after everything is perfect, but like? he’s smiling? so that obviously means it’s fun? even if it isn’t? idk he’s a strange child. or maybe it’s time for fights... again? 

hallyu dream concert : again i am not typing out everyone, but if your muse is performing at this concert, dowoon will probably be in desperate need of a break from charm after the quarter he’s had, so come hang out with him!!

seungwoo

my king. the opposite to dowoon’s gremlin ass self. anyways, yes, hi. mars muses, your leader misses you and wants all the threads for twilight era, even if he doesn’t really care about the song very much. 

seungwoo in general is just the most in need of plots right now, so if anyone wants a messy ex turned good boy bff or a deep seeded hatred thing from years back or anything, uhhh hmu. 

hallyu dream concert : and again!! he’s open for threads here!! let him, idk, extend his leaderly duties to your muse and take care of them if they need something. or maybe there’s a backstage confrontation years in the making?!?!? or, idk, you catch him reading some poems and your muse thinks that’s lame nerd shit. 

[gummybearzgocrazyagain]

MALEC FIC REC POST, vol.3

vol. 1

vol.2 

Media AU

Society Rules by @Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright [it is apparently based on films i’ve never heard of - The Philadelphia Story / High Society - which does not make it any less entertaining. malec are childhood friends, who had a falling out 5 years ago, and now Magnus is back from London to interrupt Lightwood wedding, aka the social event of the season]

Making my way to you by @asharee_arie [woah, what was that??? is the correct answer “a perfect fanfic”?? what a muthafuckin delight, where has this gem been hiding this whole time??? i was on the floor, rolling around and squealing like a newborn piglet. Intended as some kind of Office AU, this piece does not necessarily follow the outline, but who cares, when the story, and characters, and author’s style are all that perf??? i am in luv]

Mistletoe and Margaritas by @nevermetawolf [this is legendary, and i mean, muthafuckin epic - Office AU so authentic you’d feel it in yo old bones... author calls it a crack fic, although it was anything but!!! major must read for those, who’s ever loved office, allllllll the kudos]

Once Upon a Time in the Clouds by @Fatale (femme) [one of my all-time fav authors, every time i come by a piece i have not read yet, is like a huge YAY, what a talent. so this piece is an AU of something called “sky high”, which i have no idea about, but luved it nevertheless, Alec is born to a family of Supers, and is going to school for children with superpowers, but he himself is yet to manifest any.]

Quite Magical by @lorenzobane [Hogwarts AU, and what an adorable thing it was! granted, i’ve never actually read any of HP books, this was such a delight though... alec is bad at potions, and magnus has to tutor him *wink*]

Chef AU

the way to a chef’s heart by @lecrit [okay, the GIANT SMILE one’s face acquires when one finds out there is a new lecrit fic ≧◠‿◠≦ ≧◠‿◠≦ ≧◠‿◠≦ was reading it, and legitimately squealing like a feral piglet all the way through, cause i fucking luv every single word this woman writes, is like a tiny endorphin explosions in my brain. i know am a hopeless fangirl, but i’ll die on this hill. the way she gets malec, and every variation of them in her works just makes me go (❁´◡`❁) every. single. time.]

kids in the kitchen by @perpetual_journey [cuteness personified, malec are both chefs, and magnus is a single father of max and rafe, and go and read ittttttttt, its that soft content we all need in our lives sometimes]

Knives at the Ready by @harrysglasses [restaurant AU, that is supposed to be a malec rendition of Burnt (am guessing it’s a movie...?), and what a sweet treat it was! i liked author’s style, this is the kind of smooth, unproblematic content one would require to take repose from all the heart-clenching longing i’ve been reading lately... delightful piece to ease thy soul]

Single Parent AU

I Knew From the First Time by @KlaineJane [emmm, excuse you, dear author, who gave you the right to use Rafe and Max to get to my heart, and be generally so fucking cute??? Alec is a single dad of both rascals, that has a meeting with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and Chairman meets new friends]

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom [malec are single parents of max and rafe respectively, and alec gets called in to school about the accident max was involved in...who doesn’t luv them some gud ol’ sweet piece of kidfic? those are like a soothing baths for your soul, and lightwood-bane kids are incapable of being anything less than extremely adorable in any interpretation, so]

College AU

Don’t say goodnight by @alistoney [this the kinda lighthearted content i am always here for - College AU]

One year and a bottle of whiskey by @CryptidBane [yassssss, yet another version of the College AU, but with malec as both clueless and pining professors, this type of fic i can read endlessly]

All is Fair in Love and War by @LadyOxymoron [aaaaaaaa, what was this adorableness *major heart-eyes* what a piece, mashallah, college professors AU, where magnus is new in town, and malec is engaging in an elaborate prank war, which, undoubtedly, is nothing more than a prolonged foreplay (c), what a gem]

Canon Divergence

oh, i’ve waited for you by @manticoremoons [so, the fic is happening a little bit further in a timeline, than the books or the series, and Alec is around 30, and... married to Lydia. i know, i know, it almost stopped me from proceeding, and boi am i glad it hasn’t completely, cause it is a damn good piece!]

Hey There Demons, It’s Me (Your Dream Boyfriend) by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [how many recs of this author can i make, without being deemed obsessed? cause y’all should go and read every single thing they wrote, stat. this adorableness is outta this world, literally - magnus’ summoning went sideways, and the loft ends up populated with the teenage ghost-demon, who is very clearly enamored with alexander... all kinds of fluff ensue]

Something Else verse by @CryptidBane (Impetus) [maybe it’s my fever talking, but i am such a sucker for memory loss AUs, and SH fandom has the richest canon base for those, yay! this time, it’s an AU verse after 3x10: rather than asking for his magic, Asmodeus curses magnus by taking away memories from everyone who’s ever loved him, in exchange for freeing jace from lilith’s thrall... oh, what a beautiful and delicious angst ensues]

Home by @otppurefuckingmagic [waaaaaaaaat... *sits with her mouth open* how did you....? how did he...? damnnnnnnnnn you authors in this fandom, stop being so talented!!!! this is uncannily brilliant]

I’ll hold on until you’re home by @alistoney [how dare you sir, right in the feels... the missing scene in the midst of 3x18/3x19, when magnus realizes what his idiot of a boyfriend has done, and confronts him about the Asmodeus deal]

First time for everything by @nebulein [“Nowhere in a Shadowhunters’ job description does it read ‘must look adorable while infatuated with the local High Warlock’.” - series of firsts written with such tenderness and adoration for characters, that it warms your heart while reading, - it shows how much the author cares for them. it is not finished, but whatever has already been written, is gold]

Fake dating AU

The Great Repression by @CryptidBane (Impetus) [although it might not be exactly my regular cup of tea, i still appreciate this author’s style so damn much, and the way they do malec dynamic overall, so it’s here. magnus is a camboy, and alec is hired to protect him from a stalker]

Friends to lovers

Family is Family by @hexicity [my brains are fried by the covid, so any coherent rec would be unlikely right about now, but the softness of this <333 alec sees an ad about a free room, and when he moves in, he finds way more, than he bargained for... gave me a bit of a “happy, shiny people everywhere” vibe, and that’s an automatic rec in my books, so]

Spinning Around In Circles by @lemonoclefox [my fav friends to lovers/mutual pining trope, here you are, and what a pretty pretty wrapper are you wearing - absolutely amazing interpretation of a trope, that seems to has been done to death, and yet here i am, never able to get enough of it <3]

If it walks like a duck by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [this. i was reading this. and after every single word. all i wanted to do was get down on one knee and propose to this person. i dunno who the hell you is, but.... how did you do this? it was... another level of fanfiction.]

Neighbors AU

Meow 17:1 Love Thy Neighbor by @high-warlock-of-brooklyn [again, not a fan of drabbles, but who could resist such softness??? Neighbors AU, where Chairman takes some lessons he learnt from “Parent trap” to heart, and alec is a stumbling mess, but he gets shit done, kudossssssss]

Various AU mix

Solid courage by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [how goddamn CUTE was dat???? answer - the cutest. mashallah people in this fandom can write]

Paper Love by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion [it would not be an exaggeration to admit i thoroughly fell in love with this author’s style, i mean, all and every version of their malec is all kinds of awesome. this one is no exception - catarina works in the library, and malec have to take madzie out to a coffee shop, cause their obnoxious flirting is too loud for the quaint environment of catarina’s workplace.... it’s tiny and so so sooooooo sweet]

make no bones by @ohfreckle [yaaaaaaaaay, what a cutie, tiny preciousness about magnus having an awful day and taking it out on a no-good useless building super, simply delightful]

Freud is a Dick by @sanctuary_for_all [Alec works in IT firm, and accidentally sends someone else’s dick pick to his boss, whom he has a crush on... do i need to say more]

shadows in moonlight by @kaeg [damnnnnnn, son, that was a ride!! something exquisitely soulful, tender and so, so poetic... young malec meet in summer vacation home, and it will take your breath away in the best way possible... warning, it is unfinished, but whatever was written, is absolute preciousness]

For the Love of the Game by @TicklemyPickle [Hockey AU, where malec were childhood friends, but had a falling out, and were not in touch for the last 7 years, until magnus gets traded in to alec’s team... i was somewhat unsure about reccing this, as some of the choices author made regarding their dynamic did not exactly resonate with me, but decided to go on, because, god as my witness, one thing this world definitely needs more of - is malec Hockey AUs, word upppp]

Love Is A Gamble by @la-muerta [i myself do not completely understand, why has it taken me so long to get to the “The importance of elsewhere” author’s most famous piece, but i finally have, it was amazeballs, like, the world-building...? off the charts. the language, the moral struggle, what a gem. alec is a grumpy and surely sheriff *duh!!!* of a tiny town, and magnus strolls in being all... well, magnus-y, and opens a gambling house, the potential!!! anyway, i highly doubt this piece needs recs, so imma zip it]

@ohprongs [this author has too many tiny pieces i like to name them individually, but as far as reccing goes, they should def be mentioned here for their effortless, seamless style, and clear love for the characters in all interpretations, that simply shines through all and any AUs they choose to put malec in]

special mention:

@theleftboobgrabber [i wasn’t aware that at this stage it was still possible to come by someone like this. the author, who’s style would impress me so. that unbelievably glorious Mafia AU, absolutely delightful and literally perfect My mama don’t like you series, and something that went straight to my top-5 - MI6 AU ohhhhh, that MI6 AU... i have no coherent words to express the depths of my appreciation, this is unbelievable fucking talent for writing malec]