#maybe i haven't decided anything
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dude i had smol idea but i can't program, design, write or know anything about making an idie game so uhhh
Default overworld sprite
Default dialog box sprite
guess who it is-
(on a side note Watson if you're reading this- wait a minute i'm finalizing marrige papers so they'll be legal one sec)
A game where you basically play Watson and try to discover the mystery of Holmes disappearance while tackling Self harm, Grief, War, Disablility and Discrimination
#concept#concept art#fake game#my art#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#dr john watson#a game where the player (watson) would simply be called The Author because it sounds kinda cool#because in reality this could happen to anyone#maybe i haven't decided anything#just a tiny concept#inspiration#shrug#and violins play a big role in the soundtrack#becuase i like violins
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What I find hilarious about MCD: Rebirth is that Aphmau had the chance to make Aaron a character early on so he doesn't just come out of nowhere, do nothing, then fuck Aphmau and die. But instead, we meet Gene first like. Huh.
#minecraft diaries#mcd#aphmau#aphverse#minecraft diaries: rebirth#There is something hilarious that she didn't see anything (narratively) wrong with that and decided to keep it#tbf it was very very early on but considering we haven't even had the suggestion of one (1) Aaron I don't think he would be introduced#until the end of the first arc. /Maybe/ he was going to be in the werewolf tribe#Or a boy can hope and that he got scraped as a character or the final romance but I am pressing X on that one#Also tumblr randomly signed me out when writing this. My hate is too powerful or something
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Not for any particular reason, but chat how would we feel about a uf papyrus / general underfell focused magma on monday? Would that be nice?
#I haven't hosted a drawring thing in a minute#I'd try to hop in now and then#I just kinda wanna try getting into the habit of at least trying to do stuff more#I just always tell myself I can't do stuff like that unless I can put in 100% but like. I never have time for that for other things#idk. maybe also it's just a bad idea lmao#like. why? it's not an anniversary or anything but idk. the idea just popped into my head and it sounded like it could be fun#or not idk!!! sorry I have food poisoning or something so I'm feeling out of sorts#this weeks been really weird in a not so good way. barring like. a couple good things#so ig im just a bit out of it#sunny with clouds#possibly delete later if i become less out of it and decide this is Not a good idea
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based on how I/my family/the news is reacting to current events of unspecified subject I will be taking a break from my apocalyptic writing (if you left a comment, i've seen it and appreciate it I just have rules and can't reply to them until the next chapter is done to keep my momentum going), so i'm writing something "lighter" !!! yes, it's trobed. but also i'm very indecisive so help me choose a setting/third place
#maybe i will discard this poll entirely but i'm gonna make it anyway because I don't know what I want to do#YOU CAN ALSO SUGGEST OTHER PLACES i haven't decided on anything yet#trobed#fanfic#poll
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tw for mentions of suicidial ideation (of someone else not me lmao)
sometimes i think about the girl from my freshman year of highschool (or was it sophomore? my memory is fucking shit); how after only knowing her for a like a fucking month she confessed to me that she wanted to kill herself and she was gonna do it that night. i panicked for the entire night and ended up telling my mom bc she asked me what the fuck i was freaking out about and then i ended up telling her what was going on. bc my mom worked at the school, she was able to reach out to one of the counselors the next day to check on that girl--if she showed up to school.
she did.
the next night she messaged me that it was just a joke and she didn't know why i took it so seriously. she was mad that the guidance counselor contacted her mom.
as though she hadn't spent the entire night i was desperately trying to keep her on the phone texting me so she didn't do anything stupid, telling me how life would be better without her here, and that she was getting a knife from her kitchen and no one was home to stop her anyway.
she stopped talking to me after that. we stopped sitting near each other at lunch. life went on. we graduated. i never saw her in person again-but i know from the scant few times i end up on facebook she's still alive.
to be honest, i still don't get the joke.
#ren writing#ig#this isn't really like anything thought out#i just thought about this girl all of a sudden and i haven't thought about her in years#about renjamin#yeah sure there's a side of every story and maybe she Was suicidal and she felt a way#that now other people knew. maybe her mom punished her#i have no idea#but i wasn't in a position to be that person for her#and idk why the fuck she decided to do all that shit for
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#i told my friend i would go to a con with her in december and paid for my portion already but i kept getting super depressed thinking about#going to the con#and i mainly said yes because she has bad social anxiety and i wanted to support her#but i went to a con with one of my other friends a while ago and i am totally out of it#mentally and emotionally when it comes to anything fandom related. exept anime con but that's because i like seeing ppls costumes.#it's like i am a ghost of myself.#also i have expenses that keep piling up and i was like 'even if i don't get the whole refund i would rather have the money than go#on a trip just to be miserable'#so i kept putting it off but then i was like 'well i need to tell her at least a month before or else that is going to be really bad'#so i told her last night that things came up and i couldn't go (things is work/needing to save my money). like i know i already paid for it#but my partner is having a hard time making rent and i am having a hard time keeping a job so...#and i haven't told her any of this i just said 'things came up'#so she was naturally quite upset with me and said she “didn't give a shit if [i] lose money” but would pay me back for the con tickets#and the flight#like... she has always been brutally honest and (maybe?) autistic-coded so i tried not to let it get to me. i totally get being upset#and i am somewhat bothered with myself that i even said yes in the first place & then went back on it/waited so long to decide#but also i didn't expect to be paying my partner's half of the rent for a few months sooo.....#yeah#at least i will get half back and then i don't have to worry about asking for time off if i get a secondary job soon which i definitely nee#vent#delete later#tw financial issues
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something that bugs me about Frieren is that the adventure of the Hero Party to slay the Demon King famously took 10 years... what about the return trip....?
#sousou no frieren#frieren: beyond journey's end#frieren at the funeral#haven't written anything down but I'm trying to make a mental timeline#girl the math isn;t mathing#yeah sure the way back could be shorter bc Mr. Hero Completionist solved everything but surely travel alone would take some years??#even if the manga made it look like they had a cart all the way from the north to back#also 10 years can't include the return trip already bc just making it to the goddess monument took 7#unless they made it to Ende and back in 3 years somehow#(not impossible tbh maybe Himmel decided to speedrun to [REDACTED])#btw Himmel started the journey at 16!! WILD!!!#so he'd be 26 when he slayed the Demon King and 76 when he died#weird that he's so skrunkly and bald at that age esp since Heiter aged more gracefully#but maybe terminal yearning just does that to you. who knows!!#btw he's still strong as fuck being able to travel far and defeat monsters solo just before he died#I forgor Frieren's timeline I think she was already a couple centuries old when she met Flamme#then Flamme dies some 50 years later. and it takes a few hundred more years before she joins the hero party at which point she's already#around a thousand years old#will I read the manga again to take notes? probably I feel deranged enough#IF I'M MISSING ANY DETAILS FEEL FREE TO SLAP ME WITH IT
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WAIT Elle has box braids in s3??? I could cry
I don't think she had bad hair in s1 or s2, but I'm excited that they're actually giving the Black girls Black hairstyles instead of having them wear it out.
Before, it felt like the (all-white, for context) hair department was just ignorant about Black hair, so they put wigs on the Black actresses and only did styles that also work on nonblack hair for their own sake/convenience. This theory was especially supported by the fact that Tara, whose 4c hair couldn't really be styled the same as nonblack hair, wore a twistout that would take literal hours to do every day, but she had box braids in s2! and Elle has box braids now!! I'm so excited!!!
I also feel like this fits her bold, fashion-loving personality so much better than leaving her hair out. Our hair is basically its own accessory, and the long box braids are very feminine. Again, I'm not saying not having a protective style isn't feminine or fashionable (I myself am a fashion girlie with an Afro), but having one is another outlet for her creativity, and I'm glad they're recognizing that now.
#shimmer's thoughts#heartstopper#elle argent#i have heard that apparently black people aren't allowed to have braids in uk schools? which is legitimately fucking wild#although it kinda looks like this had a big turning point in 2022 according to a quick google? but i'm not 100% sure#it depends on how much influence the ehrc has over the government. which doesn't seem to be much#we do have hair dress codes with huge anti-black bias here but no braids usually isn't in there explicitly#or something that's enforced afaik#all that to say it might just be that this happens to be a summer season and that's why their hair is like that#although even then I don't think Tara would be doing a twistout every day#i think slicking takes way less time so she'd probably be doing that if they didn't like afros either#she might though. i don't know exactly why she would do that but she might decide to do that#also to clarify again i'm not saying not having a protective style as a black girl is bad or negative or anything#i'm saying in the context of the hair and makeup team being completely white#and alice oseman being a white person who originally only gave the comic characters wavy/barely curly hair#them not giving them protective(/realistic for Tara) styles was sus. and this is a welcome change#i mean. we haven't seen Tara's hair for this season yet. and they really love that twistout#so maybe i shouldn't get my hopes up yet. but i'll give them their flowers for this at least
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I made an oc and drew a thing!! It's name is M41functi0n (or Malfunction) and I love them. Originally thought of making them for a joke I wanted to make in like 3 years but I might give it lore. and a reference sheet too maybe.
Also drew this bc I wanted to try sm different with lighting and shading. I hope it looks alright :3
Below the cut is lighting-less but shaded and lighting-less, unshaded, and static-less.
Version without filters/glow effects over it ^
Version without any shading, static, lighting, and the opacity of the face and text have been raised to 100% (It's on 30% for the other images)
#tw Scopophobia#cw Scopophobia#let me know if this needs to be tagged as anything else! like. being held hostage sorta?? Kidnapping maybe????#Idk I haven't completely decided on the context of the drawing.#furry#tv head#digital art#Idk what to tag non fandom art as I don't. usually draw original ocs..#M41functi0n#Malfunction#If I draw them again ^
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Shinji has regrets
Shinji has regrets.
Ichigo hadn't known it, hadn't been there when he'd said it, but when the visored stepped up for the battle against Aizen he'd made sure to tell the soutaicho that they where not there for them.
"We are enemies of Aizen, and allies of Ichigo."
Allies of Ichigo. He had belived that. Truly had thought that.
But then Aizen had been beaten and Ichigo had lost his powers and they had been pardoned and finally allowed back home.
Why had he ever though it would be a good idea?
Why had any of them?
Every single visored had taken the hook and stepped right back into Seireitei to become parts of the machine that they all knew had already thrown them out once.
Maybe they thought Ichigo would fare better with his family? Away from all the powerful nonsense spirits dragged him into? Maybe they they really thought it wasn't a big deal? After all Ichigo already had many friends in soul society so it shouldn't really matter if they moved there and had their places back.
Maybe they were just so tired of having to hide away from the place and people they had spent centuries calling home? Blinded by the hope of getting it all back even in some small way.
The soutaitcho had asked him if they were now their allies and he had answered a resounding "No" and as soon as they were allowed back in not a sinle one of them stayed out of Soul Society. Stayed with Ichigo.
Allied with Ichigo his ass.
Once exiled twice shy was something they couldn't avoid noticing.
While every single one of them had returned to Soul Society to take their places as captains and liutenants not one of them could slot back into place as easy as they had hoped.
Gotei 13 is an eclectic bunch full of strong personalities and even stronger hierarchies and rules and after a hundred years spent away they grate on his every nerve.
While they had been in exile they had been banned from soul society, true, but they had also been kept away from the strict regulations and adherence to rules that gotei members seem to obey almost religiously, even if they had seemed to loosen up a little after Ichigo's first influential break into their fortress.
Ichigo had made many influential friends during his rampage and he and his friends had become a literal proof that not every rule has to be always followed to the letter.
But the rules were still there and after a hundred years without they feel like slowly tightening chains around them.
There is also so much to catch up on, so much they had missed, that time just seems to fly away as there is always something else to work on, something else to improve, some new shinigami to whip into shape (and they are all so new and so young in their few hundreds and so so weak and he remembres training a young brat just 15 years old who would have wiped the floor with every single one of them and he grates) places to fix and before he knows it it's been almost a year and he realizes he hasn't heard from Ichigo yet.
The realization is not a pleasant one.
Hirako Shinji is very old and as such his grip on time can be tenuous sometimes, especially when surrounded by other similiarly static people, but he did spend a century around humans so he knows that after a break this long he should have heard something!
True they were instructed to give Ichigo his space for a while, space to heal from his de-powering but it's been almost a year and that has to have been long enough, surely?
Ichigo is not like them. He might have been powerful but at his core his was still human, and one apparently used to rapid progress in things if the stories of him achieving a bankai in mere days were true (and knowing Urahara Kisuke, they most likely were).
In the end it is Mashiro of all people who pushes him to make a move.
"Aww~ I haven't had a break in months! This is so booring~ Wonder how berry-tan is doing right now? He must be so bored too, playing human!"
"Huh!?" Scowls Kensei. His returned captain position with its stressfull resposibilities hadn't been great on his hollow reduced temper. "He's not playing at being human, he is a human, and a damn young one at that. The kid is propably just enjoying his break being normal". Something about the notion doesn't sit well in Shinji and he can see it on the clenced fist that Kensei doesn't fully believe what he's saying either.
"Hee~ but berry-tan was always so fighty! And he got so strong too! No way could normal human life seem anything but boring after that", she sniffs and he knows, they all know she's right, at least partly. By the end there, Ichigo had become overwhelmingly powerful, more than any human or even shinigami could hope to be. That had been the point. The plan. To stick an overpowered godlike fifteen year old against another basically a god, have them fight till the end and get rid of Aizen.
If it also happened to destroy the other superpowered being in the process then, well, wasn't that just convenient.
He grates.
Ichigo was designed by his father, Urahara Kisuke and ironically Aizen Sousuke himself to become just strong enough to face him and win and if he burnt out in the process?
Well even if he's powerless at least he's still alive.
Assumedly. They haven't heard anything from him in months.
#Bleach#Possible Shinichi#Closer to pack feels or pre than anything but#Shinichi#I still haven't finished Bleach and don't know if I ever will#But that little abandonement Ichigo went through made me have some feelings about it#So I gave them to Shinji#If you feel like this one ends abruptly you are right#There were actually couple of sentences more#With hiyori bursting in and yelling something#But i never got to the yelling part#And this just kept being unfinished in my drafts#So#Have an unfinished little potential ficlet#Where maybe Shinji decides that leaving the very human depovered Ichigo to his own devices#Is not that great idea after all#And maybe goes to see him early#Who knows#Certainly not I#Or there would be more of this written
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trying to make friends online is...........hard
#im in this little discord group and there's 247 ppl in it but only like 20 talk#and i talk a lot !! and i get along well with them !! and we have the same interests !!#and like we added each other as friends !!#but sometimes i feel a lil self conscious sbdjgsdj#i know logically it's no biggie but maybe it's because i haven't really talked to new people ?? for these past few years ??#because i've been taking care of my dad so i haven't gone out and stuff so i know i'm rusty as hell#so it feels a little hard !!! but i decided i should try with this group because like....#if you don't do anything nothing will happen but if you do try then something might happen#so i'm happy about the progress i made but sometimes im like.............(。•́︿•̀。) am i being Strange#EVEN THO LIKE...U KNOW...UR LOGICAL BRAIN KNOWS UR OVERTHINKING IT...#✉️#update: i have Assimilated i feel better ehehe 🥰
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i think maybe it's not such a good thing that i've just totally shut myself off from the idea of dating at all because i thought it wasn't my thing. like maybe i should just be trying
#it would be one thing if i was older but i'm literally 22. like i'm a baby. idk#i still have no desire to date or be in a relationship or hook up or anything but i think the day i realized this i just#completely decided i was never gonna try and. it just hasn't been on my mind in a while#and the only reason it is now is bc i met up with a friend i haven't seen in a while and was explaining this whole thing to her#and she was like i know you're saying it isn't what you want but you don't sound content. you sound like you're sad#like i think it's different from when i was younger where i was really insecure and pressuring myself because i felt like#it was what i was supposed to do and i was missing out on time or whatever. i don't feel like that anymore#but i also feel like to make it easier for myself i just decided if i didn't wanna be with anyone i shouldn't even entertain the idea#and i mean i still have no idea if i'm aroace or not but i don't think that should stop me from trying to have fun with dating altogether#i wish i had some semblance of an idea of what i wanted bc this would all be so much easier BUT i think the big thing making it harder#has always been the pressure to do things a certain way. and i don't really feel that anymore so yeah i think i might start trying. maybe.#shut up hanna
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sitting waiting for someone to text you bc you wanted to make plans with them almost 4 hours ago but now you've just wasted 4 hours bc you couldn't do anything bc you were waiting for them to text should've been a circle of hell in dante's inferno
#i also was on the phone with my mom for a bit so maybe i wasn't fixated on the waiting itchiness for all 4 of those hours but i still#haven't done any of the work i need to do for tomorrow :/ and i don't want to start it bc i'll have to stop in the middle of it except i#really do need to start it regardless of when she texts me back but she hasn't texted me back yet and we're trying to meet up to get food#but we hadn't decided on where to go so idk how long it will take so my window for doing any of it is rapidly shrinking and i can feel it#closing in on me bc it's been dark outside for an hour and i'm still just fucking. sitting here.#also unrelated i figured out this morning that i've been taking tylenol instead of my antidepressants for the last several days! which helps#to explain why i'm suddenly experiencing such a sudden uptick in my depression symptoms but also doesn't help me get back any of the days#i've spent in stasis bc apparently my adhd meds aren't enough on their own (bc i'm depressed) to allow me to do anything easily including#but not limited to getting out of bed#i've also discovered recently that just expressing that i've had difficulty with something to someone at all helps dissolve the mental block#that's kept me from doing it which has been massively helpful for me but maybe annoying to my friend who i usually text about it <3#megan you're a real one and i love you#a post
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got myself a little pocket radio bc you never know when severe weather might knock out the power or cell towers but apparently there aren't any weather radio stations i can pick up :/
#there just aren't any in my area#and im right in between the two closest stations so they interfere since they're on. the same frequency#there ARE other radio stations in my city im listening to one right now that plays alt rock#like From This City not even a neighbour city#but there's none that report weather#i wanna have a weather radio bc i have a deep fear of tornadoes#ive been doing tornado drills since i was a small small child they're a pretty common thing here#and i have had. so so many nightmares where i got stuck somewhere during a tornado#stuck in a car as it gets picked up or stuck at school watching the building just disintegrate in front of me#one time we did actually get stuck at the school during a tornado warning they couldn't let us go home bc we had to shelter#so we were kept at the school for maybe an hour until the warning lifted just curled up with our heads down for so long#i still instinctively know the tornado sheltering position- legs folded under you; head down as far as possible; hands covering your neck#even though i haven't done a drill since i moved nearer to the lake#tornadoes get less common closer to the lake but living in the middle of nowhere they just Spawn Everywhere#another time we got word of one touching down while i was on the school bus going home#i was literally the last student on the bus and we were like at the corner about to turn to my street#and the bus driver decided to just stop there and let me sprint home bc it was faster cutting through the woods than going up the driveway#she just opened the door and said 'just go straight to your basement don't stop don't wait for anything'#she waited to make sure i could find the key bc i was home alone and then just drove the school bus to her own house so she could shelter#I've never seen any tornado damage firsthand but like. you never know when one could just wipe out a town#especially small towns like my old hometown if that place ever got hit by a tornado nothing would be left#it's literally one street that's the town center and most of the residences it's TINY and getting smaller every year#i think it'll be a ghost town soon most of the businesses have shuttered and a lot of houses are condemned
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heyheyhey. do you guys wanna know a secret :}
#a reason i like yoimiya so much; especially compared to other fem characters; is because she has more obvious proof of a journey through-#-femininity. this is also a reason i like shikimori so much!#becaus etheres an entire episode where we learn about shikimori's journey through femininity#she is such a major reason i realized that i need to go on one myself#and yoimiya idk. like. i don't really care much for genshin lore BAHAHAHAH#and i haven't looked at her voice lines in a bit but#idk. she just. theres a lot more to her than there is in canon idc she's more than what she was made to be and i love her for that!!!!#but yea elaborating on honestly not usually liking fem characters as much as masc ones. even though i dont even like guys im a lesbian JDSF#but it's because they're all made just to be people. and i lvoe all hte characters i love#but i feel like so many fem characters could be so much more than they were given the chance to be if there was a hint of a journey in her#so many just feel too hollow; especially compared to the masc characters they interact with#shikimori by herself was just a fun character. a strong girl who enjoyed being soft#but getting the background of she did karate because her brother did; she left because her brother did; she followed every trend because-#-everyone else did; she kept her hair short because her brother did; she never did anythign her brother didn't explicitly do or tell her to#and then one day he told her to be more. and so she decided to be more.#idk i just think more fem and honestly masc characters should have hints of a journey through any sort of identity!!#whether it be gender or sexuality or general personality or presentation via fashion or anything!!!!!#show me them at a young malleable age and show me them growing out of that and becoming a beautiful person but beautiful in a way only THEY#-could be. and while we didn't get that for yoimiya#i can stillfeel it. maybe im just making stuff up but. like i said earlier; she feels like so much more than the canon made her to be#adn i really love that :)#i should sleep soon but i just got my spotify workin again and catabolic seed is playingg#i lov eyou all <3#thank you for reading my rant haha#:shroom is typing...#:shroomiya:#kisses kisses!! <3
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I see all these posts about your friends making fun of you forever because you made a typo in the group chat and it could never be me because I do nothing but make typos in the group chat. If sent a message to the group chat that looked like i typed it while looking at my screen my friends would demand proof of life.
#admittedly this situation has not been helped my my rogue autocorrect#does it replace words with other random words? yes#has it decided that some words that are not proper nouns should always be capitalized and if they're not they aren't words? also yes#did i turn off autocapitalization and realize that i haven't capitalized anything on my own in years outside of a professional context#maybe#listen sometimes it turned off before on its own and i was just like whatever but not i have to really decide if i want to commit to the#nocaps lifestyle
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