#maybe i have seen too many parents like that irl

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

have said it before and i'll say it again your child doesn't need to go through a life-threatening illness for you to go easy on them. yeah what her ex said to her back then was hurtful but taking care of someone for so long putting your own life on hold does take its toll eventually esp if you are not the main love interest. she did start working again so soon she did take up more work than others and things like that are all her parents' fault. all those expectations only from her because their other kid was sick long ago just made it even worse for her. the fact that she knew they go easy on her brother because he used to have a hole in his heart but still couldn't tell them that's how heavy the weight of their hopes and their dreams was for her

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey Catie, I think I know those feelings you’re mad about so yeah, I agree, they suck! And not the good kind! Why isn’t there just some magical goat that could lick your palm and 💥 bam, no more icky sticky yucky feelings you don’t want? Because the Universe is out to get us 😫 that’s why 😒. But I guess eventually you learn to take things as they are and realise you really can only do so much and to just. Try and enjoy what you’re doing in the moment, with the people you’re with (or just yourself!). But mm… that’s only a hypothesis, unfortunately I don’t have any tried and tested methods. Still though, and I’m launching you a lotta love too 💞💨🔫

Thank you for such a kind message, I really appreciate. Sending you a lot of love too!!!!! I guess I've just been pretty lonely lately, yknow somewhat long holiday break leading into two meager weeks of class then into finals week, not really seeing anyone too much. I like being alone, but I also get way too into my head and all my negative emotions and actions are amplified to a bad degree.

But thank you again for the msg, you made me laugh with some of the things haha(not the good kind of suck, I'm crying!) I find it kinda hard to reach out to people, again insecurities, so I always feel super appreciative when I get an ask or DM or anything. Sitting here, twiddling my thumbs a lot these days ;;;; But I agree with you!!! You gotta try and keep yourself in the moment and enjoy things, and not languish. I think I just need to draw 24/7 bcs i don't really have conscious thought while doing so 😭😭

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello hello! Long time follower!

I really like reading all your translations, theories and fanfics! It's really great to be able to read your thoughts about characters and cards because am a f2p so I have a very limited stash of gems to pull lol

So I was thinking about the rrcent jp update and I went back to read some of your work on Scarabia. I'll admit they weren't amongst my favorites before so I haven't paid too much attention to them. I was wondering then about the couple times you've said Jamil is well off? Maybe it's from one of his SSR cards of his home event, but I can't remember where he or maybe Kalim implies that?

That's it, just a silly question thanks so much for all that you do, I love so much all your theories and thoughts about the lore and the cast! Have a good day!

Hdsbskwhsk I’m glad that my blog brings you joy and makes your free to play experience more fun 🤩 Thanks for sticking with me all this time!

As for your question, I’m not actually sure if there's dialogue which explicitly states the Viper family's level of wealth. I couldn't find any when I combed through, so I had to go off of implications and my own interpretations of those. From what I’ve gathered, I see the Vipers as upper middle class, or at least middle class with a LOT of benefits (the benefits being present boost them to upper middle class due to the lifestyle the benefits afford them).

So firstly, I think there's a lot of debate surrounding Jamil's family income. Some fans seem to think that the Vipers must be destitute due to their position as servants and Jamil's disdain for how the Asims throw around their money and influence. However, perceived social status or class does NOT always equate to being low income. There are people irl who are technically "servants" and "hired help" that make a significant salary while working for much wealthier individuals. There is data for bodyguards, private chefs, executive assistants, and skilled nannies who earn six-figure incomes and/or excellent benefits working for celebrities, politicians, businessmen, etc. (Notably, guarding, cooking, scheduling/planning, and generally looking after Kalim are all a part of Jamil's duties.) Real world examples of this include employees of the White House and the British royal family.

Now, that all depends a lot on the type of people the employers are. There are many wealthy families who mistreat their staff and/or don't pay them well. From what I've seen of the Asims though, I definitely feel that this is not the case. To begin with, the Vipers don't just do one task for the Asims, they do a LOT. You're already aware of the constant work Jamil has to do around the clock to keep Kalim safe and satisfied, but his parents must do the same. They're described as experts in hospitality and are frequently hosting and entertaining guests from all over Twisted Wonderland. This is skilled labor, and that demands commiserate pay. Not only that, but Kalim describes his father as someone who is very generous (and the guy has plenty of money to spare). I don’t see why Mr. Asim would purposefully skimp on specifically paying the Vipers.

I would also imagine that the Vipers are afforded other benefits. Jamil has said many times that he has to look or act a certain way, as his behavior/appearance reflects on the family he serves. Therefore, the Asims may provide other things Jamil and the Vipers need to “look good” and to best represent and serve the Asims. This could mean food, clothes, transportation/travel expenses, education (like additional training, manners lessons, certification exams, etc.) all paid for on the Asim family’s coin. Jamil has mentioned that his parents gave him lessons in everything he’d need to know in order to serve Kalim, so this tells his parents are also well-educated and/or were at least able to pay for lessons for Jamil. And these lessons aren’t “normal” lessons either, it includes things like formal bodyguard training (you’d have to pay for this irl) and formal table manners (which most of us aren’t taught unless we seek it out).

We also recently learned in book 7 that the Vipers live on Asim property, which is very luxurious. Jamil states that his family would be on the streets should they lose their place serving the Asims—and this could be interpreted in a very literal sense if we think of as losing the roof over their heads. Yes, it's technically not land or housing that the Vipers own, but it is still free high-class lodging, nonetheless. It is a benefit that is afford to them (among others) because of their job(s), similar to those real life examples I mentioned before. One could make the argument that none of this wealth truly belongs to the Vipers. However, you could also argue that because these benefits come with the job, it technically is theirs as long as they keep their job (which is, in fact, how jobs irl work; if you stop working for an employer then naturally you’ll stop getting the benefits that come with that job eventually). It’s complicated. I suspect that, at the very least, part of the reason why the Vipers don’t want to depart from serving the Asims is because they don’t want to lose the pay and the perks that come with their work.

I want to add that the Vipers’ position also gives them the unique advantage of exposing them to tons of important individuals. They are able to meet and connect with these VIPs when most people could never even dream of meeting them, even if just from the viewpoint of a servant. It’s a similar to Lilia and Silver, who technically are not rich (money-wise) but still have ties with majorly influential people (members of the Draconia royal family).

Obviously, the Vipers still aren’t as rich as the Asims and probably will never be, but I believe they still enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. We never see Jamil worry about money or being short of it. He gives his VDC/SDC earnings away without batting an eye, unlike Deuce (from a single-parent income family) who keeps the money since it would really help out his mom. He doesn’t have to work a ton of odd jobs to make ends meet (unlike Ruggie). But Jamil does haggle and act frugal. I think that behavior comes from not a genuine need but Jamil being mindful and planning ahead to avoid being scammed. He’s shown to be a cautious individual who often is the one putting the breaks on Kalim’s extravagance, so I feel the skill also comes partly from having to be the one to curb his ridiculous spending and bring Kalim down to earth. Jamil is still the type of person who would tell Kalim when he’s buying too much or overdoing things, even when it’s not Jamil’s own money being spent and he knows Kalim can afford it. That’s what leads me to believe his frugalness isn’t necessarily the result of him being low income and “needing” to save. If that were the case, he shouldn’t care if Kalim throws his own money at buying diamond jewelry for all the dorm members as souvenirs.

I think the closest metric we have as a frame of reference for how wealthy Jamil is comes from the Tapis Rouge event. In it, Jamil forks out 500 thaumarks (or 50000 madol) to buy a jacket. He remarks that the price is fairly expensive but good quality so it’s worth it. Whether you consider this an indicator of his low or high wealth is really all relative to what your own perception is. Jamil had also previously remarked that what the Mostro Lounge charges is absurd. In Ruggie’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Azul quotes the price of one soft drink as 4 thaumarks/400 madol. Jamil responds with “Four? Talk about a markup.” It should be noted that the latter example doesn’t mean Jamil cannot afford a drink of that price; he’s complaining about how expensive Azul has made it to capitalize on the high demand. Do with this knowledge what you will.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! I hope I was able to explain myself well. If you have any thoughts, please feel free to express them ^^

[daydream-cement]

Dinner Mix-Up

Larissa Weems x Reader

This is a super special birthday story for my wifey @funky--lesbian. She was the one who gave me the idea and I'm simply writing it out for her. It was so wonderful meeting you IRL Tuesday <3

She had been insanely busy. So busy that she was coming home late in the evenings, long after you retired to bed. In the mornings, she left before you woke, needing to get into the office before she had any students cause trouble during the moments she slept. You could tell Larissa was running herself into the ground.

With the arrival of the Addams’ girl and her family, not to mention the beast on the loose, Larissa was at wit's end with the school year. Time and time again, you tried reminding yourself that this semester was one of the worst the headmistress had ever seen, but you couldn’t help but feel forgotten about, in a way. She was always so tired and completely unwilling to share the burden with you, making it nearly impossible to support your girlfriend. 

Two days prior, you waited up for her, watching her trudge into the bedroom, strip herself of her clothes, and crawl into bed. Sleepily, you gather her into your arms and gently dance around your feelings as you pull the pins from her hair, “I missed you so much today, darling. I wondered if you would like to go on a date with me on Friday?” 

“Mhmm... I would love that. I miss you.” Larissa hummed, happy to have her hair loosened and her face buried into your chest. 

“How about that sweet little Italian restaurant that just opened in Burlington?” You scooch yourself down in bed, keeping your arm around her. The two of you had been dating for years, Larissa always keeping you level-headed while you helped her find peace on her craziest of days. 

You could tell she was on the verge of sleep from how her breathing began to slow just a bit, her grip around you loosening a tad, “Mmokay, darling... I’ll call tomorrow for reservations...” 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you too...” She mumbled back, nuzzling her face into you before going still. You knew it would be just a few moments before she was sleeping, which made you smile in the fact that she was at peace. Even this short conversation was making you feel closer to Larissa, settling many of your worries about the two of you growing apart.

Well, that was until you got to the restaurant and waited... and waited... and waited. 

You sat in the restaurant like a fool for over an hour. Larissa hadn’t even bothered to call or respond to any of your attempts at communication. 

At first, you drove home fuming, ready to give Larissa Weems a piece of your mind upon returning home, but when you entered and Larissa was nowhere to be found, you broke down. You couldn’t help yourself when you curled up on the couch and wept as Larissa had absolutely broken your heart. 

Was a relationship just too much for Larissa right now? Perhaps Larissa was reminded of her old feelings for her roommate with Parents Weekend two weekends ago? Or maybe she didn’t really mean it when she said she loved you? There was always the chance she was saying it out of habit and it had lost all meaning to her. 

All of your ruminating had you spiraling. Your whole body shook from the sobs and the decorative pillow on the couch was soaked with your tears. How could you and Larissa have fallen this far? You would do anything to make her love you as she once had. 

The front door opened with a jolt, Larissa slamming it behind herself when she saw your form sitting on the couch. With her deep rapid breaths and the way her eyes narrowed in on you, she was in an absolute rage, “Where were you?!”

“Where was I?! Where have you been? What is wrong with me?” You began to verbalize your spiraling, shouting straight back at your girlfriend, deeply conflicted by your feelings of anger and sadness, “I just don’t know what I can do to make you love me! I can- I can be different. I can change. What do you want from me? Do you want me to be more like Morticia? I’ll do whatever you want... Please... I love you...”

“Nothing is wrong with you! I just waited like a fool for hours and you didn’t show up!” Larissa circled the couch and dropped onto the cushion next to you, ready to argue. Her brows furrow at the mention of Morticia’s name, the sight of you weeping so openly bringing tears to the woman’s eyes, “I don’t know why you even mention her! I love you, not her.”

“What do you mean I didn’t show up? You didn’t show up!”

“I was sitting there at a beautiful, romantic, candlelit dinner waiting for you! You are the one who bothered not to show!”

“Candle-lit? The place isn’t that fancy! Don’t pretend you were there!”

“It’s a five-star restaurant! What do you mean it isn’t fancy?” Larissa’s tears were fading into a cry-laugh, her anger fading into an amused confusion. She reached into her coat pocket, pulling a handkerchief to dab at your tears. 

You spoke with a slight shake to your voice, “We went to different restaurants... Didn’t we?” Her soft laughter began to make you laugh, coming to realize that you had been at different restaurants, standing one another up while being stood up. Larissa’s beautiful hand reaching out, coming to grasp your face.

You dove forwards, wrapping your arms around Larissa’s middle, and felt her arms hold you tight. Her tone was thick with regret, “I think we did.” 

“I’m sorry, Riss...” You mumbled into her neck, the floodgates had opened and all of your emotions were ready to come pouring out. There was so much you had kept from Larissa during the previous months and now you were ready to divulge it all with her. 

“Honey, it was just one big misunderstanding...” Your girlfriend attempted to soothe you once more, hand to the back of your head as she cooed to you, worried you still felt guilt for the switch-up. 

Gripping her a little tighter, you crawled into Larissa’s lap, spilling your heart to the woman before you in hopes she could come to understand all that you had been feeling, “No... I’m sorry that life has just been so much recently. I’m sorry you are overworked and that I can’t do anything to help you.”

“Darling...” Larissa gathered your face in her hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks, “You keep me sane. Coming home to you each night... Just seeing you in bed waiting for me is... everything. From all of this, the one thing I’ve realized is how I can’t live without you.”

Her words were an incredible comfort to hear as you returned the sentiment, “I can’t live without you. I love you so much, Larissa.” You turned your face into her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm, your eyes not leaving hers. 

The headmistress chuckled, shaking her head as you hadn’t quite understood where she was going with her thoughts. Her hands on your face dropped, one coming to grasp your hand while the other reached into her jacket pocket, her gaze was more intense this time, “No... Darling... I truly cannot live without you.” 

You finally understood when your eyes gazed down and saw the small box at Larissa’s fingertips. The beating of your own heart became rapid as you could hardly comprehend what was happening in this moment. After all of this, all of the pain and heartache you put yourself through, your girlfriend, your love, your everything wanted to marry you. 

“Rissa...?” You questioned, still not able to fully understand how she could be proposing after all of this. 

“Marry me... Please. I can’t live without you.” Larissa wasn't quite asking as much as she was pleading with you. She needed to know you would be by her side always. To be her peace and bring her sanity in the darkest times of her job. 

You must have confused the woman as you shook your head ‘no’ out of pure disbelief, but your words quickly countered your actions, “Yes, yes, a million times yes.” Rather than put the ring on your finger, you dove into Larissa’s arms, tackling her to the couch and pressing a deep, loving kiss to her lips. 

Tonight had been a rollercoaster, but you knew Larissa had been your rock and now she would be until death do you part. 

[madfantasy]

New 3 things that happened:

*I got my new ID, my id expired and to renew it I had to get photographed, and since I just opened my bank account a year ago it depends on it so already I was giving up on the idea to keep the account but by miracle a photographer agreed to picture us at home, and it turned to us cuz I wanted all my sibs to have theirs taken with me too and because I had to argue first time to get my ID forever, so i didn't have the energy to keep doing it for the rest of my sibs so now it was the chance. The day of the photographer coming I was shaking with fear and I thought I would never leave the bathroom gotten ill. I fear seeing people more than dyin so I don't know how I held it together, I literally don't remember how it went or how I did, but I recall my sibs looking the same as I felt but it was finally done. parents too taken their shoots and because one needed their passport renewed to renew their id, them alone costing 1k$ and the appointment was set 6 months ahead, we R now close to it anyway, and the thought of how we have to pay to exist some more costly made me think of my worthlessness and helplessness even more, making me ashamed of still living.

The thing that blinded me, me the first to be tested on lo

*my eye is better, I still see a dark spot looking in a certain direction, getting an eye mask surprisingly helped keeping my eyes less dry cuz they be the most when I wake up and I had the driest time before it got infected and swelled, and already I'm used to the spot and can ignore it..

*I'm still drawing, literally it's making me live love and laugh, I don't care about improving or drawing my best constantly, ai can get poisoned for all I care as it continues to dehumanise the whole point of art-- keeping humanity alive ( btw use glazing ❤️🖤)

I realised that I don't have any physical collection of my art & since I can't look at the screens forever just to browse, nd printing all my stuff isn't feasible, then I came across those mini albums Nd I got the idea to just print one sheet = 9 pics! They look good too for trashy quality, I love it 8' and yes, purple and silver is the 10% obsession to my 90% red and black pallets, thanks to remembering Freeza c'x

But as usual posting my drawings never cease to eat me alive with anxiety, but I think I'm slowly becoming indifferent to it, even if the thought of that no one actually sees my art but me, which is the main case cuz I am living in isolation and being drawing in secret till few recent years because of my conservative surroundings, I feel much calmer when I'm not seen and maybe it's self destructive in a way cuz to stay posting I need to be commissioned cuz net bill, but it became irrelevant cuz I accepted that i can't have the mental capacity to be a social media person or chase anything that I already knew I can't maintain, I had an art block for a year I almost believed that was it for my art drive and me cuz it my sanity— cuz burning out so bad. If my post has a description it was in my drafts for months cuz I plan for every piece I share, but if can't form words I allow myself to let it be captionless, I draw faster than I form words and that's why art is important to me on a personal level, it's my first way of express even if its indirect, the only bit of human Mani left to live in me to put through lines and paint splodges. Even if no one sees it, and to be honest with myself, have very weak chances of being seen on a level that benefits me financially, I'm on the other side of the world, never seen the sky beyond my schooling days, nonverbal irl and know that I can get taken advantage of easily in social manner because it either I don't get the social cues or can't say no..

I'm grateful that at least I got the chance to experience being in a loving nurturing fandom like Sev's that made me experience genuine human goodness and care I never thought possible, made me have some self worth, personality beyond a made for marriage caretaker, and allowed me to get art tools and clothing that I was never allowed or could afford, and many first time small life pleasures like perfumes, food and toys, even if I only recognise 5 or 10 of you dears now, by DP liking my posts- (I suck at remembering names sorry)

I'm also grateful to have a room after endless years of couch and house movings, I have a safe space to still be able to draw and be cool under an AC in this 50° weather..

I think realistically that's the best it can get having spent all my life trying to get anywhere but isolated, and nothing working. At least I'm indifferent and fine of being the caretaker of my disabled guardians and siblings, I need them as much as they need me, even if it caused me the same cycle of mental anguish and earth leavings hehe

Wish U all the ease and peace and yummy peas 🫶🏽

4 am, sleep deprived

[stackslip]

chapter 140 thoughts under the cut

fujimoto's goal of rewriting fire punch with a bit more silliness continues (i love the chainsaw pews)

fujimoto said i know writers who do subtlety and they're all cowards

BROBENI CONFIRMED. now to know if he's her younger brother who was gonna be put through college by kobeni's exploited labour (which..... gd damn that parallel with denji and nayuta......). also i've been told nobana is traditionally a female name.......... hm.

real, though in this context it sounds more like anti usamerican imperialism language repurposed for nationalist ends..... it's not fujimoto is uncritical of america either though considering the gun devil in part 1. fascinating to see where this might go and how much that kind of language parallels irl pro-japanese imperialism and nationalists' own discourse.

i find it fascinaing that kids are considered the only acceptable members of the cult only to be introduced to an adult leader several pages later lol. but obviously the cult (because this 200% is a cult) is filling a gap--the first half of part 1 showed us how much it fucking SUCKS to be even an ordinary kid both irl and in this world, the lack of agency and the poverty and being preyed upon by adults or abandoned entirely, and then mocked on national tv when they take the deaths of their classmates and friends seriously..... so of course so many would end up here, being told that adults really ARE dangerous and incapable of seeing the world the way they do. cleverly done, i hope fujimoto expands on this and doesn't fall back on Let Adults Take Care Of This

similarly i hope this doesn't fall into the liberal storytelling trap of "the government is bad, but this new group has appeared that's Even Worse, so the government is actually good now" that also appears in so many shounen tbh. i don't think he will bc even outside of the church public safety is still so fucked up

denji's expressions this chapter are top tier lmao. genius move to make denji the "straight man" in the previous few chapters where he's genuinely flabbergasted by how batshit everyone else is

FUCKING CRYING. yeah the implications are dire but. HOWL

again jokes asides there is SO MUCH to unpack here. you'll get married AND THEN become a member of the church (implying marriage is a requirement or, as said later, strongly encouraged to join the cult at all). sex is consummated immediately in the next room. so far we've mostly seen men and boys in charge of the church, except for fami/kiga......... which...... does not bode well. makes me wonder how many are pressured into marriage/sex both as a way to attract new male followers and as a way to keep control over all

speaking of which. it says student but they mean /high school students/, maybe even middle school students, aka again children! and again the language of Modernity Has Lied To Us, Child Marriage And Ownership Is The Way right there being recited. the appeal to nationalism and what is "natural", kids as property of their parents and the church,.... and yes i AM reminded of behemboth(?), the patriarchal city-cult of fire punch whose entire horrid existence is justified with "it's natural" and "we are saving people by giving them shelter here". the patriarchy is central here!

and of course the part about kids being born and raised into the church themselves...... after shinzo abe's death, japan's having a bit of a reckoning re the influence of cults in political life and vice versa, and particularly the impact on children raised in said cults. there's also been a reactionary backlash to the idea of *foreign* cults (like the unification church, originally from korea) having "too big" an influence on japan, versus the Good National Japanese Cults that are spared some of that backlash. so i find it interesting that fujimoto firmly grounds this as a *japanese* nationalist cult that claims to be trying to save the country from foreign influence. obviously i'd love to know more, bc i'm sure there's a lot of language and references in the original that i'm missing and that mirror irl japanese politics and reactionary tendencies.

denji's backlash in forcing kids to get married.... i do wonder how much of his backlash comes from the idea of forced child marriage (and being forced in general), or if he would have been okay with someone being pressured to have sex with him without marriage, or he wouldn't have thought about it tbh.

i want to see the chainsaw man bathroom............

the hybrids all coming together.... wonder if this means reze and quanxi will be back PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. but also in the context of the church.... the weapon hybrids were used as various governmental projects and living weapons for years--japan, china, the ussr, and i imagine the usa and other western powers had their own as well. then they got controlled by makima, and now they're in the church.... i hope we explore more of the abuse and parallels they have with denji, and see just how and why miri trusts in the church so much as a refuge compared to his previous abuse. ALSO BRING BACK REZE AND QUANXI GD PLEASE......

this is 200% the guy who was in the shadows telling haruka it was all planned. and again the irony of nobana talking about how this is a church by and for children, only to immediately be threatened by someone who is very obviously an adult in charge

his eyes REALLY freak me out btw, fujimoto did a great job at his expressions lol. also really love the detail of the suspenders and the

barem.... the closest i could find for that name's meaning was the hebrew for "son of nation" which. hm! worrisome!

so idk if fujimoto was TRYING to give this dude the vibes of a sexual predator but between the cult's pressuring kids to get married and have sex, his role as one of the sole adult "humans" around, his treatment of nobana, and his general demeanor and manner of speech + the themes of sexual abuse and predation in the series in general........ gd he gives me the absolute creeps lmao, incredible design and tone. also what he says here about asa which gives me SO MANY red flags and makes me think more of the patriarchal aspect of the cult too

the name of the chapter is "scales"..... which is associated with kiga, as the horseman of Famine. and of course during the whole chapter we hear about how the church is necessary and its actions help save lives etc etc etc. just as we heard the yakuza justify their existence to makima, just as public safety justified its own existence in terms of killing devils while really using them as a way to terrorize the population and threaten other nations.

i find it interesting that in a way, kiga gave a similar deal to asa but in far more positive a view. do these things for us, become this weapon for us, and this person you care about (or think you know even if briefly) will live. kiga was just a lot better at presenting it and obsfucating the actual horrors that would follow--denji however is in too deep, and doesn't buy into the bs anymore. so he's given much more stark and open a choice! just as public safety tried to threaten denji to keep quiet lest they kill nayuta and raise her as their own all over again! gd he and asa's lack of agency..... fuck me up so so bad

wondering if we're eventually going to come back to denji's motif of choosing a third choice and refusing the dual choice entirely! wonder if asa herself will only see a single solution in front of her every time......

anyhow. good chapter. there's gotta be a lot that i'm missing here in terms of relations to current japanese political context and i'd love to learn more on it tbh.

[throwaway-yandere]

"O Capo! My Capo!" (Yandere Mafia!Cyno, Tignari, and Alhaitham/Reader)

A/n: This township is turning into a real clownship– I definitely do NOT dedicate this to my irl friends, ya jerks /j.

Unreliable Synopsis: The Innamorati Familia might have lost almost everything, but their Capo stands tall. Just how long will you survive under 3 pairs of scrutinizing eyes? (Mafia!au. Visions do not exist.)

CW: yandere, (some) religious themes, possible major character deaths, mentions of recreational drugs, guns, etc.

YOUR CHOICES MATTER. YOU CAN VOTE FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Next Chapter

—---

[Year 192X]

"(Y/n)!!!"

At first, you were convinced you were living the Khaenri'ahn Dream. With your youthful yet crime-greased hands, you have fought hard to earn your keep as the Innamorati's current Capo– to earn yourself a family for yours to protect inside Teyvat's ruthless underworld. And family you did keep. Until candles waned like silenced hostages. Until a conspiracy pursued what little faith in humanity you had left.

Until you held your underboss' charred face and lifeless body. Until his sizzling arm burned your hand. Until flakes of Dimitri's skin powdered your fingers like charcoal pencil shavings.

The Innamorati Headquarters burned. And so too did most of your men.

"(Y/n)! Stand back– Think about your men! Would they want you to do this?! You won't save anyone there– not like this!!!"

Looking back, the Khaenri'ahn Dream lied. There was no joy in hustling but you did live an empty yet freeing life. Khaenri'ah preached about humanity and its opportune happiness, yet spoke none about how fleeting it could be once the curtains caught fire. Perhaps that very notion fooled you into believing that your idyllic lifestyle won't be snatched away easily. 

The ghosts of those who perished in the manor's basement have sought their final repose on the embers that incinerated your endeavors.

Everything was terribly loud. Many people fled into the murky haze. The square was virtually deserted as people fled for their lives, but you refused to leave. This trait used to be a quality that helped you survive the syndicate, but those damn fascist conspirators turned it against you.

Tartaglia pulled you close.

"VAFFANCULO, TARTAGLIA– LET ME FUCKING GO!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!"

You stilled, and a single heavy tear left your eye. 

This is more than a mite unfair. Everything you labored for, every drop of blood you shed, every vice you committed, what was it all for? Visconti Diluc was right. You're a liar and a murderer undeserving of joy. Maybe this was the retribution he ranted aimlessly about.

You took fast and drastic measures in your rise to the top, and your opponents rightfully did the same to pull you back down.

Tartaglia watched as you writhe in agony knowing that you couldn't escape from his restrictive embrace. He never thought he'd see you appear more pathetic than when Pulcinella first picked you off the streets. Nonetheless, he felt your pain. You both led groups under the same parent organization. You are family. 

To him, this was worse than accompanying his widowed sibling to their spouse's funeral.

"… My men, they're…"

You fell into deep thought.

Lyudochka, Kazari, Teppei, Viktor… 

You gritted your teeth.

Viktor… 

That damn brat didn't even get his chance to shift jobs… That brat still hadn't left this hellhole…

Based on the Khaenri'ahn Dream, all citizens must have an equal opportunity to achieve success through determination and pure grit…

You bit your lip down, drawing blood. In truth, you can't discern whether or not the blood came from your lips or your throat.

"DAMN IT." 

Your white-knuckled hand shakily punched your thigh, feeling morbidly powerless.

Viktor said he wouldn't allow himself to die as a lowly servant… 

What happened to those dreams now…?

You were so close. You were so close to taking all those fascists down. So why now?!

Tartaglia frowned. He had never seen you act like this– your anger is usually impulsive, but sharp and silent. Your fury simmers until you slice the catalyst open. Never come a time you lashed out like a feral animal as you do now.

"GET IT TOGETHER!!!"

Tartaglia shot you a piercing stare as he slapped you, and you finally reigned yourself in.

This is too pitiful. 

Fire surrounded everyone, but you remained frozen by your own dialed-up emotions.

Slowly, he trusted that he could let you go.

"... Ekaterina, send in our men. We'll try to extinguish this mess as much as we can."

"Of course Capo, right away."

You held back your sobs as your knees fell to the floor, where your right-hand man's corpse lay as if he did not struggle in his miserable death.

The last time you talked to him, you called him a worthless coward who couldn't make choices without you. Pain seared through your chest. No one wants that to be their last conversation with their closest confidant. 

A bloodcurdling scream rang out across the square, but you scarcely moved from your seat. You're too numb to notice who was behind that familiar voice. It was just another body that couldn't be mourned.

Your eyes focused on Dimitri's corpse instead.

You were planning to apologize after you cleared your head this morning, but what use are words to those who have already left this world? He's gone.

Fallen, cold and dead.

This is by no means the first time you've seen your men die– you had some of the deceased's blood wet your Sunday clothes– but you hope this unforgettable foul scent of burned flesh will be the last time you'll breathe it in. You're already acclimated to the metallic stench of blood; you don't need to ingrain this into your mind as well.

You passed out.

It was only when you closed your mouth did you realize, it was you who cried your lungs out the whole time.

—-----

The church bells rang. 

It was 10 AM, and the mass was inching to a close but the priest passionately ignored the echoes of the bell and the mafiasos' groans.

"Is it too early to booze?" Tartaglia whispered in your ear. His yawning proved that he was bored to tears. You did your best in stopping your eyes from rolling.

Unlike Tartaglia, your aura exudes dignity, something he needed the most. When you two sit together, you both appear akin to a comedy act. The usually bloodthirsty Tartaglia transforms into a guileless little brother and your all-forgiving eyes turn endearingly annoyed when paired together. The same scenario was applied this morning.

"Tartaglia, look around you. Does this look like the right time?" You vaguely gestured at the ongoing sermon, not meeting his gaze.

"Geez. Why do we even bother with this?"

"Because even though we are nothing but lowly sinners, we must honor our Tsaritsa's benevolence."

There are 6 Archons revered by the church, and they correspond to six different regions and cities inside the nation of Teyvat. You're an immigrant from outside the country– an agnostic nation– but you're smart enough to pay respects.

"Right, right. I guess even if I asked that ten more times you'd still reply with a generic answer."

You passive-aggressively whispered back. "Maybe if your questions were worth my time I'd elaborate on my answers as well."

"Capo–"

You and Tartaglia turned around. The Fatui mob, one of yours who just got there, nervously sat up straight.

"Capo (Y/n)."

Tartaglia sank back to the pews, no longer caring. The second capo's lack of attention eased the grunt's audience-based apprehension. Their sheer trust in your credibility made you smirk. While you seemed cold, everyone in Snezhnaya knew you weren't.

You recalled how back then these words sounded alien to you but these terms are salient in the scenes. Having recruited predominantly Snezhnayan workers, you had to get used to their way of living. You wanted to foster good interpersonal relationships with your men, and there's no better approach to reach their hearts than religion in the 1920s. And by the looks of it, they seem to trust your carefully crafted sterling reputation.

You always do your job as if you're running out of time, and they put your faith in you like a farmer would a fleeting summer. With some effort, everyone was convinced they'd fall apart without your guidance.

The grunt looked at you with respect.

"Boss Dimitri delivered one very confidential info."

"I see…" You steadied yourself. "Excuse me then, Tar–"

He snatched your sleeve. Tartaglia considered removing your iconic stovepipe hat, but you don't wear it to church. He opted for the second most annoying choice.

"Hey, you can't leave me here. Don't I have every right to be in the know? Gaaahh, cut me some slack. We've practically been siblings for more than half a decade now, (Y/n). Can't you tell your fratello anything?"

"Why are you interested?"

"Cause I'm curious if it's finally time that your familia will collaborate with other factions for once."

You shook your head and sat back down. He's right.

Three major criminal organizations control the small nation of Teyvat, namely the Fatui, Akademiya, and the Adepti. You and Tartaglia are Capos or Harbingers of the former, which had the most control of Snezhnaya. 

Based on your history, you don't mingle with other organizations outside Snezhnaya a lot. You had dealings with Ningguang and the Qixing before, but never their parent organization overseas which resides in Liyue. 

It just so happens that Tartaglia is bolder than you are. The kid has his headquarters stationed in another province, Liyue. That province isn't far from his hometown since Teyvat is a small country but he complains like a confederate soldier. Most of what Tartaglia talks your ear out is about missing home despite finding fuses of excitement in Liyue enticing anyways. You've heard many stories from him regarding how ruthless Adepti's Prime leader, Morax, is, but that's not your problem. 

The Akademiya, however, keeps to themselves. You know close to nothing about them. Snezhnaya may be the heart of trades, but the Fatui cannot tap into Sumeru's supply of canned knowledge. And you quite frankly don't give a shit about what they do. They're not the best at masking their spies.

"Speak."

"Capo, the underboss wanted to inform you that he had already figured out who the mole is."

"Oh?" You and Tartaglia spoke simultaneously.

You'd been looking for a spy among your ranks for quite some time. This mysterious mole was sending information back to Focalor, the self-proclaimed Hydro Archon better known as "Il Duce" around these parts. The braggart with a God complex promised the public that she'll drive mafiosos out of Teyvat, and she's working everyone to the bone for it. Politicians either play yes men or get on your nerves. She's the latter.

Nevertheless, you did not expect Dimitri to deliver results that fast. Bitterly, you thought about how apologizing for him later would look less genuine now that he proved himself worthy. You didn't mean to call your underboss useless– you just couldn't control your temper.

May the Archons forgive your transgressions.

You hope he'd forgive you once you get back.

"... Carry on, Felix."

"Yes, of course. The fascist conspirator is Professor Tighnari, the informant."

You snapped your head back to meet the grunt's face, bewildered.

"... What?"

"FIRE!!! THE PLAZA IS ON FIRE!!!"

One of the church's orphans– Barbara– was screaming by the door, frantically stripped of breath and her chords sounded hoarse, unlike her singing. Her weak legs barely counted as a support for her body as she toppled on the marble tiles. The groceries she carried splashed down, and some fruits rolled in your direction. Your people helped her stand up while some picked up her things for her, but the poor thing shivered like a leaf.

Barbara had always been a sister to you. Having been separated from your family at a young age as well, you two link like two peas in a pod. She relied on you like a quiet strong big sister while you protected her and the other children from street conflicts.

You stood up and calmly patted her shoulder, squeezing lightly. You gave her a gentle smile.

"My dear Barbara– take deep breaths."

She yanked your chest.

"Capo!" 

Barbara began to tear up.

"It's your mansion, Capo!!! YOUR MANSION IS ON FIRE!!!"

—-------

You jolted up drenched in cold sweat.

"You're awake…"

You don't know whose voice you were expecting, but that voice was intuitively not one of them. The barren room you woke up in wasn't yours, and it's certainly not Tartaglia's manor. Considering the unfortunate events that just took place, it's foolish to think you'd wake up inside the safety of your manor. Instinctively, you reached for your holster and found it empty. 

The man stepped into the light. You have a hunch on who this was. He wore a black-purple stole, vest, and strap combination, an attire you'd often see on a Sunday, yet donned a shabby brown hat on top of his silky white locks. 

The stranger stared at you blankly. 

"You're a disciple." You claimed.

Aside from the three mafia organizations, the Church had the superior upper hand when it came to crowd control. Nothing moves Teyvat's heart like guides and philosophies. That being said, the Church isn't afraid to get its hands filthy. They are fully aware that conversation will not solve all problems, and there is an unsaid fact that their relationship with the Fatui is far from antagonistic.

And as Capo, you're one of their most devoted patrons. The organization you belong to is filled with devotees, and have often carried out whatever mission the church wishes. Honestly, you think that the Church's fondness for the Fatui should already be a telltale sign that the Archons are nothing more than a statue made of ice.

But you shouldn't think this way. It's peculiar– romantic, even– that what saved you from the fire was your near half-hearted devotion to attending Sunday masses. To be honest, you attend partly because you want to dress to the nines. You don't know how to feel about that.

Their Holiness saved you from the embers, you can atone for your sins by suffering. And that's what this stranger is here for.

"That's correct." He said. "I work for the Sumeru Church. I was instructed to look after you until they help you renovate your manor and the panetteria beside it. That is, of course, assuming you still pass the requirements of being Innamorati's Capo."

This person did not bother easing you into things, and instead bluntly reminded you that your house and men– your home is gone. 

You breathed in shakily.

Dimitri is gone…

"...You have my gratitude."

On the bright side, at least your go-to place for lunch will be back after a while. That is if Signorina Xiangling survived and the church won't abandon you.

"Don't worry, we flame to please. I'm sure our architect Kaveh was stoked to receive such a large-scale commission."

…

"I'm sorry– were you joking at a time like this?"

"Was it not funny? Hah. I think it's hysterical. Oh, would you like for me to explain it?" He didn't ask in a patronizing tone, he spoke as if you didn't have the mental capacity to know what a joke is. Which was honestly more insulting.

You didn't laugh, and he didn't apologize.

You've heard about how church officials have a clear lack in the humor department before, but you didn't take into account that they may very well be this socially inept. Which is rich, coming from you. Your transgressions weigh more than a bad joke executed at a funeral.

With a mastered poker face, you pretended that his slights did not affect you.

He extended his arm out for a handshake.

"Cyno, the former Aaru Village priest. I now work as an inquisitor." Cyno coughed, cheeks turning slightly red. "I didn't change your clothes i-in case you find it uncomfortable."

Sounds like he finds it uncomfortable instead.

His behavior perfectly lines up with his claims. The way he dressed alone encapsulates the aura of a man who used to devote himself to holy sanctums. Some minor details made it clear he's no longer part of the main clergy– that being his choker and numerous ear piercings. 

You took his hand. "Pleasure to meet you. I'm (Y/n), the Innamorati Familia's Cap–"

You cringed.

"I'm… I'm just (Y/n)."

"Humble, just (Y/n)." Cyno nodded solemnly.

"No, not humble. Defeated."

"I know."

…

…

"Feel free to cry. I won't pass judgment over people expressing normal human emotions."

You laughed humorlessly. "Sure you won't."

Cyno grabbed the plate on the table and passed it on. "Calzone?"

You scoffed.

Admittedly, the food looked appetizing and its rich fragrance made your stomach perceive its emptiness. You trust the church, but no. Your pride would kill you for chewing food down with abandon. The only person you could eat savagely with was Barbara, and Lord knows how the poor girl is holding up. Thankfully your stomach didn't make any noise despite the pain of hunger being a treacherous one.

"I guess not." He awkwardly put it back down.

You inspected your clothes. Your once proud Prussian blue polo shirt reeked of ashes and sundered threads. Still, in a bit of a daze, you squinted.

"... Where's my coat?"

Cyno's gaze sharpened. 

"I disposed of it." He spat. "You should be more alert. Someone planted a recording device on your person."

Cyno spoke in a tone that implied he knew who this person was personally, and you're inclined to think the same. You bit your bottom lip at your own seemingly minuscule mistake, opening a minor wound.

"Cazzo."

It's possible that Tighnari was the one to plant it. You let him hold your coat for a moment when you changed into your Sunday attire. That audacity of that fucking bastard.

He must've set the bomb off when he heard Nicola.

"Testa di cazzo– quel fottuto figlio di puttana." You cursed lowly.

Professor Tighnari. That man will soon find his skin flayed and draped on the walls of your basement chambers once it's rebuilt.

You'll kill everyone that fox ever loved.

You'll find his family and wave their heads on a pike right in front of his chained weeping face. You'll claw the skin off their faces and rip their fingernails and limbs apart–

"(Y/n)?"

You can no longer comprehend your emotions. Inside, you are a cacophony of both forced indifference and uncontrollable spite– a contradictory pair yet one that matches how you felt towards the loss of your men and the professor's betrayal. 

Slowly but surely, you saw red.

Not expecting that you would stand up, Cyno pushed you back to bed. He looked both worried yet unimpressed by your foul mouth.

"You're not supposed to leave yet."

You tried to gently pry him off, not wanting to offend the church's lackeys, but he was stronger than expected. Cyno planted you back down on the mattress. His left hand was beside your head and his face hovered above yours.

This irritated you. 

You don't have much time left.

He continued. "Tomorrow, you work. Today, you rest up. Your people are with Capo Tartaglia and they're not going anywhere. If you need anything– food, water– anything at all, be sure to ring the bell. My ears are sharp. Remember, the Military Police are tailing you and the last of your men."

The Military Police? So it's Focalor's people, huh? That damn governor just won't let up, won't she? If you had nothing left to lose you would've painted her office wall with her brain matter, pronto. But you still have some reasons to continue living.

The last of your men… 

Hah. Of course. You have to live for those that survived. After all, if you weren't an incompetent fucking boss you'd still have everyone in one piece.

You're so sick of this.

"May I ask who exactly reached out to help? I doubt the church would waste church funds on a low-ranked Fatui Capo such as myself."

The inquisitor averted his gaze, his brows furrowed. Cyno hid his face behind his hand, murmuring the response meekly. You don't have the best hearing—the sounds of gunshots were bound to dull your senses—and you imagined he gave a monosyllabic response.

"...e."

"My apologies, mind repeating that?"

Cyno stiffened.

"You don't need to know who. What matters is that you're safe now, and an official willingly went through signing paperwork for your manor."

"And based on your tone of voice, I assume that that official is you."

He turned his head indignantly.

"Believe what you want to believe."

Cyno's reply was a telltale sign that this conversation will go nowhere. You sighed.

"... I don't need food, but do you have cigars?"

He scrunched his nose. 

"No wonder your breath smells awful nowadays." He muttered before pulling away.

Despite his insulting observation, he pulled out a box of Cuban cigars from his pocket. Quite hypocritical that he complained about bad breath when he had some too. He lit up your cigar.

"Thanks, but last time I checked this was our first time meeting." You have no particular opinion on Cohiba's cigars but this is the best you'll get at the moment. Beggars can't be choosers. "Thanks again."

Cyno ignored you both times and he was already by the door. "Please rest up. I've left some calzone, water, painkillers, and tissues for you on the table. Try not to leave the vicinity."

He exited the room.

You closed your eyes as your hand reached for your bleeding mouth. You're relatively unscathed from the incident, which means Cyno knows something about your "condition." 

You chuckled.

Painkillers and tissues, huh? There's no better cure than that, and your time would run out before the world would find a better one.

—----

Cigars were not enough. 

Inquisitor Cyno likely already knew that he can't keep you here for much longer, but he didn't do anything when you escaped. He did say "try not to leave" and not "do not leave", didn't he?

Cyno claimed his ears are sharp– so you guess he just didn't care at all.

As a result, you left your room and went for a walk around the neighborhood. That doesn't mean you can leave Sumeru City, but a stroll is always pleasant. The room Cyno offered was neither spacious nor cramped, but if you started digging holes in their ugly wallpaper, you doubt the church would take it lightly.

You staggered out of the chapel and entered the slums, reminding yourself that Dimitri is dead. You need to find someone worthy enough to become the next underboss. The church will not recognize you as the Capo without one, therefore they won't help rebuild the manor should you fail this task.

Hungry and out of breath, you leaned against the unscrubbed walls of an abandoned antique store, arms folded, taking in your surroundings. You were exhausted, arms sprawled against the wall.

The people behaved too jaded to be Natlan yet too reserved to be Snezhnaya– hence, you safely assumed that you were in the Avidya-Rainforest district. This place, despite lack of funds, was still under the church's watchful eye. A holy sanctum of sorts. This meant dealings are prohibited and no one would want to be caught with a glint in their eyes.

It's fascinating how much their cultures differ for a country as small as Teyvat. The same cannot be said for Khaenri'ah. Your compatriots have only known a capitalistic grind in search of an unattainable dream. A money-obsessed country does little to preserve its customs and culture. And you were the same empty machine till La Signora took you in.

You yawned while covering your mouth, appearing vulnerable.

But of course, you didn't charge into an unknown location unarmed. You knocked out one of the Inquisitor's soldiers and seized his pistol. "For security reasons", you'd argue. Once again, Cyno likely knew about that but didn't bother acting, again. You're too tired to judge his work approach, and you could barely keep your eyes open.

Till you caught a sliver of green pass you by.

"Oh! You smell funny. Are you the Capo, (Y/n) (L/n)?"

You lazily looked up.

"Umm, hello?"

You gazed down. 

It's a kid. Hunger is starting to take its toll on you as you mistook her high pitch voice for an adult your size. The child, around age 5, had green hair and scraped knees. 

You're certain that she wouldn't snitch about how you left your room unguarded.

"Need something?"

"Yeah, um, I just wanna say my condolences."

You ruffled her hair. "Thanks, bambini."

She beamed.

Sadly, the kid must've mistaken this as a go signal for her to continue talking. She balled her hand into a fist and nervously cheered for you.

"I-It'll be alright, Capo. You can always make new friends! I believe in you!"

"Hmm."

"I never thought I'd ever be able to make friends but I did last month! I also met my master that time and maybe I can share some of my good luck with you!"

"Hmm."

"Are… Are you listening?"

"J-Just a little fatigued." You stifled a yawn. "Why don't you play along with your new friends, little…"

"Oh, right! I'm Collei!"

"Little Collei." You coughed, and you skillfully wiped the blood away without her knowing. "Bambini, you shouldn't talk to people like me, it's dangerous. Why don't you run along and go back to your friends now?"

"Well, I can't yet because he told me not to because he's busy right now."

"Who told you that?"

Collei smiled widely.

"Professor Tighnari!"

You froze, slowly recalling your resolve. 

It felt like the world froze for a brief moment as if the few people in the vicinity halted for you to catch up on what the little girl confessed. 

"...Tighnari?"

"Hmm, hmm!"

"And you're close to him?" You muttered.

You'll kill everyone that fox ever loved. 

Your fingers subconsciously slithered to your holster. 

That's what you decided moments prior. 

You glared down menacingly.

"Capo…?"

But a kid?

"... Is something wrong?"

You turned your apathetic gaze back at her. You're not even sure just how much this child meant to Tighnari. She might as well just be as insignificant as a pebble on a shore. But–

The gun you stole from the church guards is with you. It's light in your hands.

The light in your eyes dimmed.

"Hello?"

It has three bullets loaded.

There are only 2 other people outside the streets, both of which are teenage civilians. Taking her out would be as easy as–

"Hey, please cheer up!!!"

The child shook you, dragging you out of your trance. Little Collei appeared distressed because of your lack of reactions. You blinked a couple of times, making yourself mentally present, before pinching your forehead. Her lips are curled downward and her eyes match her cute frown, and you were grimly reminded of what you had tried to commit.

You cursed under your breath.

You're disappointed in yourself.

This is a child. A child of the church, no less. She likely had nothing to do with whatever it is Tighnari had planned. 

"You're thinking of sad thoughts too, aren't you? Don't do that! You'll only feel bad–"

"Bambini."

"Yes?"

"How many friends do you have?"

"Oh. I have two!" 

She cheerfully raised three fingers. 

"I have two friends! Amber and Tighnari!!!"

Because of her clear enthusiasm, you refrained from correcting her hand. Instead, you patted her head with a heavy conscience.

But are you wrong for thinking this way?

An eye for an eye…

You knelt at her height.

Your strained smile reached her ignorant eyes. "That sounds wonderful. I have– I had two best friends too. Can I be your third friend?"

"Really?!"

"Of course. I think optimistic people like you are reeaaally cool!" You lied between your teeth.

And one kid's death won't satisfy a worthy tribute for your fallen men. One child is not enough. 

You need to find more just like her.

"Hehe, thank you! But Amber's the coolest! I want to be like big sis Amber when I grow up!"

"Is that so? Well– I hope to hear more from you as you grow older. I'm sure you'll be the girl you always wanted to be, and I'd like to be your friend as you get there."

Collei awed.

"W-Wow, thank you! I've never gotten a compliment like that before too…"

The child never saw the sadness in your eyes, or maybe she mistook it as fondness. You continued patting her head as she melts in your touch. Fakely, you gave her a big smile.

"Then let's get to know each other." You grabbed her hands. "Why don't you show me around town, fratella?"

You can't kill this girl yet.

She nodded eagerly.

Not until you find out just how much this child means to Tighnari.

Besides, you didn't miss the flash of purple in the alleyways. Cyno was observing you from afar. You can't make haste.

You grabbed her hand.

You'll get your revenge, someday but not today, even if it arrives at your dying breath.

—----

Someone else is watching you. A second stalker.

It's not paranoia born out of the tragedy that occurred yesterday, but a fact. 

As you were greeted by an angry Candace (Cyno's coworker) who gave you a firm yet fruitless sermon about leaving the parameters, you heard the bushes rattle by the gardens. You offhandedly mentioned it to her, and it placated her fury. 

Candace agreed that she heard it as well, and she promises to take care of it as soon as you go back to confinement– "your room." Collei awkwardly bid you farewell and you promised you'll see her again in a few days. She probably thought that you were her new troublesome sibling. And speaking of troublesome…

Snatching the small glimpse of metal from the table, you pivoted your heels.

"You can't hide from me."

Masterfully, you hurled a butterknife and it landed just a few centimeters above the trespasser. He grunted almost inaudibly. Had you been any less precise that aim would've killed him, but the man had the guts to trust that you wouldn't be so foolish and kill him off without a proper interrogation. It's one of many reasons Tartaglia envies your dexterity and wit.

You glared. This man wore dark clothing yet his luminescent akasha terminal betrays any hope for a successful undercover mission. The stranger promptly calculated his response as you grabbed your remaining utensils. This time, you had a sharper blade in your arsenal.

"Speak."

"My name is Alhaitham. I'm an Akademiyan spy."

No shit. He's wearing an akasha terminal. What else could he be but a pain in the neck?

You laughed sardonically. "Oh my, a bold one, are we? Think you can take me down just because of my manor?"

"I'm not here to fight you– I'm here with a proposal, (Y/n)."

And he had the nerve not to address you as Capo.

The stranger didn't see you throw a fork in his direction until he heard the metal ring beside his ear. Some strands of his hair got caught between the points, yet he feigned an unphased disposition.

"Get out."

"Alhaitham" didn't listen. He knew you'd insist until you could drag his cold dead body into the garbage chute for Wednesday's pickup. So what did he do?

State his proposal anyways.

"I want to become Innamorati's next underboss."

Your grip on the knife loosened slightly. Alhaitham watched your serious face loosen up, but not in the reaction he hoped for. Instead, you laughed at him.

Him? Replacing Dimitri? Hilarious.

"Now that's comedy! What made you think I'll hire you? I don't know your face but I know your name."

You proudly grabbed a glass and poured yourself the wine Cyno bought that you previously insisted on not drinking. 

"Ahh, this should be entertaining. Alhaitham– the Akademiya's slaved accountant. Maybe I would've taken you in if you didn't reveal that you're a spy. Would've enjoyed dragging you around till you're drained like hell. You know, if you already told me that you're here to spy on me you might as well spill who ordered you to do so."

"Khajeh." He replied immediately.

You drank half a glass. "Hah! Figured. Barely ran into any scholars but that old man is as nosy and obnoxious as they come."

"In addition, he gave me permission to try and apply as your next underboss."

"Keyword here is try."

"The Akademiya had been spying on you for a long time–"

"I know. I'm not dumb enough not to notice your men skulking around. They're practically built like an elementary school's skeletal model." You clicked your tongue.

"–But if you take me, I am at your full disposal. I will work simultaneously for the Akademiya and you, so I'd let you in on canned knowledge trades. I'm not as weak as the others. I've been a member of multiple training corps with exceptional gra–"

He stopped abruptly when you placed your glass down. It's empty.

Alhaitham met your gaze and silently noted your unamused expression.

You have never once tried getting into any supply of canned knowledge, but that doesn't mean you'd dive into this shady business after the opportunity presents itself pronto. You've seen how Dottore handles his wares, and you know how it functions similarly to heroin.

You're not letting your men go through the same addiction as you had before.

"Are you done?" You cut him off, clearly aware that he barely started with his fluffs. Realizing that all he had done was brag, he changed topics immediately.

"I know a lot of things about you, Capo." Alhaitham's lips quivered for a brief moment. "I'd dare say I found all the dirt I could find."

"Is that so…" You replied, rather uninterested. These buzzwords have always been around since the day you became Capo, not once had they piqued your interest.

"You killed La Signora to inherit her title. You announced that she died bravely against Khaenri'ahn soldiers, but it was you whom she dueled with– and now you have her authority and more."

You laughed, once again sounding wholly bored.

"Should've known Akademiyan freaks like you are into conspiracy theories." You replied in an attempt to seem like you care. You're not sure if it worked.

"You neither confirmed nor denied my statement."

Cause he's half-wrong. You're not a brute. If you want something done, then it must be swift. There's no way you could've won a match against your old Capo, everyone would agree with that. 

It's much easier to kill her in her sleep and frame your fellow countryman's fault for everything.

"Do you need me to?"

There was no need for you to tell him that this information is useless. Many similar-sounding theories had spread during the first few months of acting as Innamorati's new Capo. Snezhnayans are very strict when it comes to blood relations, and they're not easily convinced when you told them that it was Rosalyne's final wish to instate you as their new leader. 

It was partly thanks to Viktor that the familia grew to welcome you in. He had an apparent dislike for the old capo and when you promised he'd be off guard duties his mouth started rambling. Viktor's not one to shy away from leaking the information you puppeteered him to say. You've ensured many methodologies to spread a positive campaign about you, and people began naturally supporting your cause.

All done with minimum effort.

You smiled at him sweetly. Should Alhaitham attack your reputation, you have no doubt you have the capabilities in mending it quickly despite your situation. You're loved by the Church and most importantly the masses. Now that many of your men have passed, the public would view you as a staggering symbol of mourning. Poor (Y/n).

Alhaitham didn't react. Instead, his expression dimmed, more solemn this time.

"That's just the appetizer." 

He continued. 

"The truth is, you barely have 2 years left to live because of Eleazar, isn't that right, (N/n)? That's why you always act like you're running out of time."

Your eyes widened.

Now he's not half wrong. That's the whole truth. 

You laughed again.

"Is that your best attempt at a death threat? Don't have specialized canned knowledge to teach you when to shut the fuck up?"

"I'd be happy to let you know that I'm not the only one who has conducted some… research, Capo." He digressed and walked closer. "Inquisitor Cyno, Professor Tighnari, and I know about it. It's quite a well-kept secret, really. You ought to be thankful."

Alhaitham pulled out a tissue from his pockets.

You squinted and paused.

Oh, no wonder. So that's how he came up with that conclusion. 

"You've been coughing up blood way before you joined the mafia– and it's a miracle that no one noticed your weak constitution. None except the three of us, I mean." He continued. "I had someone from our forensics team inspect this, and I'm not surprised to hear that it's from you rather than your enemies."

"Then why."

"Why?"

"Why haven't you leaked this yet? Isn't this a good thing for you Akademiyans?"

Alhaitham smirked.

"I believe I should be the one to govern my actions– why else would I stalk these dilapidated rooftops?"

"Then how long have you known?"

"Trust me, the three of us knew longer than you'd imagine. I knew about your secret ever since you sold matchsticks for a living."

Your eyebrows furrowed. 

"That was five years ago…"

"So? Doesn't change that you've been diagnosed for well over six years."

"I was barely anyone back then– I was just a beggar hustling on the streets– why make such an idiotic claim?" You rolled your eyes. "I've heard enough. Leave, while I still allow it."

Alhaitham's face softened.

"So you don't remember me…"

He handed you the tissue, and you reluctantly accepted it.

As your hands met, Alhaitham pulled you close to his chest. His face looked down on you, smug and condescending.

Alhaitham caressed your cheek, and then your lips. You flushed at the sudden contact and quickly tilted your dagger near his neck.

He whispered into your ear. 

"What a delicate flower you are, tesoro. But I will not lie, you're far from youthful– you're wilting, and I loathe watching this all unfold from afar any longer."

The Akademiyan gently pushed your dagger away and kissed your wrist. Your eyes sharpened, hastily aiming for his neck but he swiftly changed trajectory. He knew this was just a reminder that he could die in your hands if you will it. Alhaitham is not blind. He saw the way you curved your hand at the last second to prevent a lethal blow.

He stood a few feet away, no longer at arm's length. Alhaitham pushed the curtains aside with one foot already out the window.

"I'll meet you again here, 6 AM sharp. Tell me whatever it is that you decide then." He said before confidently adding "I look forward to working with you soon, (N/n)."

In the same fashion he entered, he left the room quietly. Deciding that you don't care enough to watch him leave the premises, you locked the windows shut.

You sighed, exhausted, and pulled the curtains closed.

Life won't let you catch a break…

Now, what's your schedule for tomorrow?

—------

Note: this is an interactive fic! The underlined word will lead you to a google forms link to decide what happens in the next chapter! Have fun voting!!!

Deadline: October 20, 2022 October 16, 2020

Next Chapter

[siriustaylorsversion]

Hi!

I love your writing and just wanted to request a sadie sink x reader where they both are starring in stranger things. It can be both in social media and irl.

Thank you!!!

daylight

thank you!! i wasn't sure if you wanted it to be just social media separately so i made it a mix of both... i am so in love with sadie sink it's not a joke.

face claim: gacie abrams warnings: language based on the song daylight by taylor swift!

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in Everyone looked worse in the light There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

I never thought that one day would turn my life over this much. I went from just a high school kid to an actress in strangers things along with some of my best friends and as cheesy as this sounds... my heart. Sadie and I had been best friends for two years (while I had the biggest crush on her, mind you) before one drunken night I kissed her out of the blue... imagine my surprise when she kissed me back...

I was on cloud nine. It felt like a dream. Hell, it still does! Every time she looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes gives me that smile, talks to me with her intoxicating voice, and every goddamn time she touches me, I lose it. And... so do the fans.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

yourname.official

yourname.official happy two years @sadesink!!! i am so so lucky to have you by my side. you are my rock, my best friend, and my soulmate and i am grateful for all the highs and lows and for every single moment i've spent with you. thank you for your unwavering support, your infectious laughter, and your unconditional love. you are the reason I wake up each day with a smile on my face, and the thought of spending my life with you fills me with joy. happy anniversary, my love. Here's to many more years of love, laughter, and happiness. liked by sadiesink, taylorswift and 3,09,800 others.

sadiesink You really brought tears in my eyes. I love you so so much. Thank you for... everything 🥺💕

forever.more OMFG MY PARENTS 🥺 fearstrx you're both so gorgeous!!!! y/nsinks this duo is the only reason i believe in love anymore 😔 yourname.forevermore I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOU BOTH. I'VE FINALLY STARTED LOVING LIFE.

milliebobbybrown 💘🥺

taylornation you guys!!! 💓

yourname.forevermore SCREAMING.CRYING.THROWINGUP.

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky And so I became the butt of the joke I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now It's brighter now, now

-flashback-

"You what?!" I asked furrowing my brows feeling a mixture of anger and confusion. "I revealed that we're dating on the jimmy fallon show..." she said with uncertainty in her eyes. "I heard what you said.. but why?" I asked. "Do you not want anyone to know-" "No, of course, I do but, are you sure that YOU want to be seen with me?" She walked up and gave me a hug from behind which she knows always calms me down... "There's nothing I'd want more," she said almost in tears. "I'm- don't cry, Sades" I mutter with my eyes closed. "Sadie... I care about you so so much but you realize both our managing teams said that it's best not to reveal this, right?!" "You think I care, I don't want to hear any of their remarks but the thing that I want most is to be with you!" she hugged me from behind, knowing my weakness. "Of course, I want that too. I just want what's most beneficial for you..." I said. "Well, staying with you has many many benefits" she whispered laughing into the crook of my neck. "Oh my, ms. Sink, you've managed to convince me" I finally break into a smile and pull her in front of me.

And I can still see it all (In my mind) All of you, all of me (Intertwined) I once believed love would be (Black and white) But it's golden (Golden) And I can still see it all (In my head) Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed) I once believed love would be (Burning red) But it's golden Like daylight, like daylight Like daylight, daylight

We had finished our press release and were walking to a pub with the whole cast. Sadie looked like a goddess. No joke, she looked better than Aphrodite herself and I had just zoned out thinking about how goddamn lucky I was. Of course, being the darling she is, she noticed this and gave me a playful nudge... "I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life, Sadie Sink" I look her in the eyes and voice my thoughts. "Yes, you are now don't get all sappy on me," She says while squeezing my hands three times. This woman right here? I'm gonna marry her. I decided that right then and there. The light that she's gotten in my world.. she's the literal definition of sunshine in my eyes. She's my daylight. She is my everything I realize watching her with pride shining in my eyes.

Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it go

-flashback-

It was terrifying, our 5-month anniversary... I had rehearsed many many scripts before but now my head fails me as I am in front of the love of my life finally wanting to admit it that I loved her...

We paused in front of our favorite bakery and got our favorite croissants. Sitting on the bench I let my panic take over... "Okay I need to tell you something but I need you to stay quiet," She said to me. "Thank you for being here with me for so long and I am so so grateful for you. You're the most perfect girl I've ever seen and" "Okay..." I managed to speak out but all I saw was black and white as I anticipated the words "but we should see other people".

"I-" she stayed quiet for the longest thirteen seconds of my life and then she said, "it's been occurring to me that I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life." It was our thing... when we couldn't express our feelings fully with words, we started using lyrics.

I wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love

"I love you, y/n y/l/n" she said looking up at me with hopeful eyes. "Well, damn you beat me to it. And with Taylor swift lyrics, how original!" I talked back. "Shut up you scared me there" she laughed out.

"I’ve never been so into somebody before and every time we both touch I only want more. I love you more, Sadie Sink" I say

"Not possible!" She says and just as I am about to counter her, she kisses me to shut me up. Yes... the best day ever.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

do you have any specific theory regarding kunikida’s backstory? i honestly never thought about how he might have met fukuzawa when he was much younger, always assumed it happened after he dropped out of uni, but this makes much more sense tbh. i’m huge on the idea of him coming from a military family (would explain how he could’ve met fukuzawa and why on earth he knows how to operate every fire arm in existence)

I have so many ideas about Kunikida! The idea of him coming from a military family is definitely interesting - it fits with the author irl and would explain a lot of his mannerisms. I'm partial to him having an estranged relationship with his family in general, because it's mentioned in Kunikida and Katai's Magnificent Days that eventually Kunikida grew to spend more time around Katai than he did his family, and because most of the ADA don't really seem to have family outside each other. No one they worry about being pulled into things when they're accused of terrorism or targeted by the Port Mafia back when they were still antagonists, etc. With Ranpo, Atsushi, and Kyouka we know their parents are dead; with Yosano, Dazai, the Tanizakis and Kenji we know that even if they're not dead they're not really involved in their kids lives enough to matter much at all. I'm inclined to think Kunikida's are similar; we know they exist, but I don't think he has a good relationship with them, if they're still alive (they could have died after he met Katai).

In terms of his past, I definitely think Kunikida had a violent past. Man is way too down with casually throttling people - between that and his extensive knowledge of weapons, as well as how good he is hand to hand combat wise, it makes me think he must have had a tumulus past.

I saw a fanfiction once where he was a child solider in the Great War alongside Yosano, making weapons for the army - while I don't think it's canon, or else it probably would have been mentioned when her backstory was, I think the idea of Kunikida being somehow trained as a child solider definitely has merit. Given how people with Abilities tend to be weaponized in the BSD-verse, how strict Kunikida is despite having a hatred of authority and a tendency to violence, it makes sense to me. It's canon he dropped out of college, but he was also working with the Agency by age 18/19 at a maximum, so I think it's possible he joined college while working there and dropped out.

Another option is him having been in some sort of high school gang. Blonde hair in anime is often used to denote delinquency - so I think it's a given Kunikida was a delinquent as a teenager (especially given his attitude). In this case, his familiarity with violence would probably come via brawls with other gangs and such. I've also seen ideas of him being something of a teen vigilante, which is also definitely possible - teenage Kunikida without a sense of direction for his moral compass, I could see going that route.

Either way, I think he met Fukuzawa young. I've theorized at age 15, to mirror how Chuuya met Mori at 15, but I definitely think he met him before adulthood. I think Fukuzawa was the one who gave him his Ideals notebook, both the physical thing and the direction Kunikida needed to develop that sense of morality and desire to save people we see in canon. I think Fukuzawa had to be instrumental for him - like, why would Kunikida, who dislikes authority and is rude to basically everyone, respect and defer to Fukuzawa so much? Why is Fukuzawa one of the first people we see him use honorifics for? What would cause that type of a relationship?

So yes, I think meeting Fukuzawa was a huge turning point for Kunikida, however it may have been. Maybe he gave him a sense of direction and a way to harness his idealism via the Agency; maybe Fukuzawa was the one who taught him how to help people with his abilities all together. Either way, I can't see someone like Kunikida having such a deep deference and respect for Fukuzawa without him being deeply linked to who Kunikida is as a person, at age 22.

I also wonder if however Kunikida and Fukuzawa met, if it was originally negative or antagonistic. By the time Dazai's Entrance Exam rolls around, Kunikida clearly knows well what Fukuzawa is talking about when he mentions testing Dazai, so Dazai's clearly not the first one to go through that. Given we know neither Yosano nor Ranpo had to pass an entrance exam to join the Agency, our choices are down to either Kunikida or Katai as the first people to take one, which... if it was Kunikida, why would Fukuzawa want that? Why would he want to make sure this guy, specifically, was a good fit for the Agency morally, given Kunikida's such a moral character? What was it that made Fukuzawa want to test Kunikida, if that was what happened?

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[jolynesmom]

if it’s okay with you, tell us about your tokyo revengers DR. i’d love to know how you relate to that world, your background story (if that’s okay), and whether you’re part of any gang 🙂🗣

hii, yes omg I would love to talk about it thank you for the request!!

while I really like this dr, it’s definitely one of my more lackluster and simple drs. I usually write more complex backstories for my drs, but for this one I kept it simple for a few reasons + I actually haven’t seen the last season, but I plan on doing it soon and update my script

so basically before baji met the others and formed toman, I moved into his apartment building with my family and our moms became friends instantly because of a common interest and they forced me and baji to become friends too. we hated each other at first because of our literal opposite personalities but after some time we became inseparable. this dr follows the ‘canon’ story from the anime just like the majority of my drs because I just like it the best (well it somehow follows it because I scripted a bunch of deaths and situations out)

so after some time we befriend mikey, all 3 of us start going to his grandpa’s dojo together and after some time we befriend the others and form toman while we’re in our last year of middle school. I aged everyone up because I preferred it this way plus would make more sense irl, so at the moment everyone in toman is finishing up highschool or maybe even in uni (I scripted uni is chill because I couldn’t be bothered to care about studying 😭)

my position in toman is acting vice president because I don’t really like to lead or give orders, but can do it if absolutely necessary when draken and/or mikey are not available for some reason

one very small difference I added in this dr is related to my s/o. I usually don’t script partners because it’s either not on my mind or I’m just curious to see who’d be into me without scripting, but here I added han from stray kids as my s/o because recently he’s really had my attention and I don’t know why, but I just feel like he fits in the tokyo revengers verse/a gang, especially when you think how he used to act predebut 😭

so he’s part of a notorious enemy gang to toman (I didn’t script much about this gang, but honestly I might add some more stuff) and after this enemy gang is brutally defeated by toman they’re going to disband and han will seek me out to join us and yeah

a lot of the time I like to connect my drs with things that happened in this reality to overcome there what I couldn’t do here, and this includes my tokyo revengers dr as well. here I grew up very sheltered and I would always be punished or humiliated by my family if I ever tried to rebel because of their positions in the society I grew up in. in my dr they hold important positions as well (dad is a police officer and mom is a nurse) and me being in a gang without their knowledge is my way of revenge (no pun intended) for both realities. I hate being constrained, and being in a gang, especially as a girl, is my way of saying ‘fuck you’ to my family (and honestly the society I grew up in) for keeping me in chains. I know they only wanted the best for me but it really messed me up as I grew up

also growing up I never had male friends, let alone best friends, because my parents didn’t like me hanging out around guys, so I think my best friend being a guy and having mostly guys as friends is going to be a nice change for me, so yeah that’s definitely another thing I’m excited about

another thing I love about this dr for is how it’s set in the early 2000s. I’ve seen a lot of people (esp on tiktok) complain about places they want to shift to being set in the 90s or 00s because they don’t have access to the internet and tiktok and blah blah blah!! y’all are boring!! the 2000s were literally superior in so many ways. I miss so much the vibe from back then and the technology like the funny phones or when the internet just became a thing and people used yahoo and hi5 to talk to each other; it was so great how people were more connected back then and that’s one of the main things I look forward to;

like it’s going to be so fun how the guys will need to come get my ass personally for a meeting because phones back then had a limit on how much you can call and text, so it was preferred to talk in person unless absolutely necessary 😭

most relationships feel so shallow here, so I’m genuinely excited to go hang out with my friends and talk about everything and nothing instead of everyone playing on their phones; I also scripted yahoo and hi5 are the most used social platforms in japan because those were sooo fun to be on

I hope you found my answer interesting!! <3

[brb-on-a-quest]

What's one of your favorite childhood memories?

Hello, friend, good to see you, even if you do hide in the shadows. Hope you are well. <3

Let me tell you about a time I fell in love with storytelling all over again. I grew up on stories; I loved having my dad read to me when I was little (we read Narnia books, the Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings, Robin Hood, etc. I loved *all* of it). I loved the stories of found families and tight friendships like it was my bread and butter because I hadn't made any friends I could get closed to bc family moved around a lot (a decision I don't resent my family for now, but despised as a kid), and I wasn't really *that* close to my family either due to probably a variety of factors, not excluding mental health issues. I won't delve for the sake of length, you get the point. I was a sad and lonely child and my closest friends were imaginary. Anyway back to more concrete events:

We had just moved from Florida to Virginia, which is about 1000 miles away and over 13 hour drive (for context), and we had just started a new co-op (think like homeschool school, but it only met like once a week, it was one of the ways we'd start building up a new social circle or something). And one of the classes I took in was something music (more likely theater? related but that might have a different semester) and the first week of this co-op I remember they gave us a bingo card with a bunch of famous movie soundtracks and they told us we were going to identify the movie based on the song alone.

I got 2/20 or something bc I hadn't even heard of most of these movies bc i just hadn't been exposed to it. It was things like Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, maybe spongebob- pop culture stuff that I just hadn't seen. So everyone else was getting excited and I was feeling more and more out of the loop and alone.

I swear this turns happy at the end, bear with me, anon. They play the final music track and I don't recognize it at all but it fills me with such great joy and a call for a new adventure that I hadn't even realized music could do that before (we didn't listen to a lot of our own music growing up, it was mainly whatever my parents found appropriate or what my dad liked).

It was How To Train Your Dragon. Test Drive. John Powell. And then like the musical scores, they showed the scene it was from. A boy and his dragon racing, flying through the air. And I fell in love With the characters arcs per se, but I could tell there was a deep lore there and a story of friendship that I craved so much. It was also right up my alley with stories my Dad had read me so there was also that. But like the music was fantastic, I really liked the visuals at the time (i usually hate most 3D animation films, HTTYD is the exception), and I craved the story behind it.

I saved up money from Birthday and Christmas and ended up buying it. And I watched it. And I fell in love even harder. Cause, in some sense, I related to hiccup too much. I was a creative person, like he was, I had very little friends like he did at the beginning, we had similar senses of humor at some points, and he was fascinated with knowing and learning things. And he had a big dragon friend and i again craved that friendship deeply. So he added to the crew of imaginary friends and I went on many imaginary adventures with Hiccup and Toothless and told myself so many stories that I wish I could remember now for writing inspo.

I ended up moving from Virginia to middle of nowhere Midwest US (not saying where in case the Fey Find Out), and I did end up meeting my IRL Toothless. A little bit scary on the outside at firsts, but with an actual heart of a silly, goofy, dragon. (brb, im getting emotional just thinking about it. It'd be about 7 years now? Coming up? I may be bad at math. I feel old and happy and content.)

So yeh, in short it was a very much right place, right time kind of story and film. I still watch it a lot whenever I need a comfort film that's not as long as LOTR or something. I love the soundtrack and all of the things about it. Sorry, this was probably way longer than it should've been but IDK how to describe my love for this story without giving you some context.

[mjfsupremacy]

Hello! Could you write an imagine with MJF and the reader who is the daughter of Triple H and Stephanie? Maybe she confronts CM Punk for everything he has said about her family and now about MJF and the situation gets out of control and Max is there to protect his girl and end super fluff

Had to come back from my mini writing break to slap something together for you. I hope it's okay, I've never really written anything like this before and also I'm as shit at writing conflict as I am with getting into it irl (aka very shit.) I hope you like it!

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are your parents. Safe to say you aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in, and you definitely aren't afraid to stand up for your boyfriend, MJF.

Typed out on my phone, apologies for any errors. The reader accidentally ended up being gender neutral just fyi ☺️ the jokes about the turtleneck are from Archer (my beloved)

Moderate swearing, mentions of CM Punk.

You were a McMahon, if there was one thing you had it was balls.

Max loved that about you, not that he’d ever told you that. You were never afraid to say what you thought or stand up for what you believed in, hell, you were the kid of Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, the owners of WWE and yet you still chose to date him.

The pair of you were the constant top story in the wrestling media but you didn’t care. You came to as many shows as you could, you openly spoke about what AEW did better than WWE and much to Max's delight; you were not afraid to tell TK to his face when he was being stupid. He was completely enamoured with your fierceness.

Max supposes he should’ve seen it coming. You can’t have a loyal spitfire for a partner and not expect them to verbally smackdown someone like CM Punk.

~

You’d never really had a problem with Punk before tonight. Sure, he was a bit of a dick when you were a kid and he left without a word but you understood. Everything he said about WWE was true. You might be a McMahon but you knew right from wrong and you hadn’t hesitated to voice it then and you weren’t hesitant to voice it now. But costing your boyfriend his big moment was way over the line and you decided to make it your business.

You knew Max was disappointed, his return had been months in the making. Meticulously planned to the second and all it took to make him old news was the new AEW champion, his idol, opening his big mouth in a press conference a few minutes after the show.

You were furious and no matter how many times Max tried to grab your attention, tried to get you to leave with him, you refused. You had some choice things to say to the so called second city saint.

“Mac,” Max pulls your attention away from the closed door you were pacing in front of with the nickname he’d teasingly called you the first time he met you that had just stuck. “C’mon, I’m tired, I just want to go home and I don’t want you to fight with him.” He mutters, squeezing your hand.

���I just want to talk to him then we can go.” You reassure him, pressing a quick kiss to his hand before letting go. He sighs but accepts.

The pair of you waited outside his locker room. You, pacing angrily while Max sat on a production box kicking his feet out, still dressed in the full black ensemble. His mask and his scarf tossed beside him. You didn’t have to wait long before the AEW champ rolled from his room and you didn’t hesitate, pouncing the second he opened the door.

“You're a real piece of work, you know that right? I’ve never met anyone so willing to call everyone else an asshole while being the biggest asshole currently walking the earth.” You hiss fiercely. Max rolls his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have believed you when you said you just wanted to talk.

“You haven’t taken enough from Max already? Now you have to take away his big moment too? What, couldn’t handle Max and Tony’s little surprise after you won? Had to find a way to make this all about you again?”

Punk scoffs, bringing his suitcase to a stop beside him. “This has nothing to do with you, Sugar and it definitely has nothing to do with your silly little boyfriend. Get out of my way.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so, I don’t think I’m going anywhere until you give Max an apology.”

“You are way out of line right now Little Mac.” He sighs as if you are nothing more than a childish nuisance, making a point to use the nickname he’d given you in 2008 when you’d been a ten-year-old glued to his leg while he carted you around indulgently.

“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me nicknames like we’re still friends, like I was just some stupid kid who annoyed their favourite wrestler. You don’t get to be angry that I’m standing up for the person I love when you went out of your way to ruin one of the biggest moments of their career. You don’t.” You are gasping for air, like your anger had filled your lungs and refused to make room for oxygen.

“This wasn’t personal, I had some grievances I needed to air, I’m not going to apologise for setting the record straight and I’m definitely not going to apologise to that asshole.” He jabs a finger at Max who doesn’t even look mad, just a little annoyed but mostly worried for you. “After everything he’s said and done to me, no way.”

“And newsflash kid!” He continues his voice still quiet but matching yours in sharpness. “You were just an annoying kid that I put up with, you were the boss’s favourite grandkid. Not like I could tell you to scram.”

“That's enough,” Max spits, shooting up and quickly coming to stand in front of you. “You can hate me all you want, you can try and ruin me and ruin this company with your stupidity and selfish bullshit, but you don’t talk about Mac like that or I will leave you in a pool of your own blood, again.”

Punk and Max square off each refusing to give while you twisted your hands into the black material of Max’s shirt all the fight leaving you like air after a swift kick to the gut.

Punk scoffs, grabbing his suitcase and wheeling it away refusing to look back at you even as the guilt started to eat him up.

You buried yourself in Max’s back and felt him sigh, “you okay?” He whispers, eyes still on the door to Punk’s locker room. “Mac,” He sighs quietly when the only answer you give is the tightening of your fingers in his shirt. “Please, I need to know if your okay.”

You nod against his spine and he relaxes. “I’m sorry he’s such an asshole.”

“Don’t be. Not your fault. I’m sorry he ruined your return.” You mumble softly in reply. You can’t believe he was your favourite wrestler once upon a time. You can’t believe if it wasn’t for your shared childhood love of CM Punk you and Max may have never gotten together.

“Don’t be. Not your fault.” He mimics back, you can hear the small smirk in his words. You thump him on the shoulder earning a chuckle.

He turns around, wrapping you in his arms, tiny smirk still firmly in place. “Be honest, how wrinkled in the back of this turtleneck right now?” You roll your eyes to the ceiling. “I’m serious! This is woven from the purest Azerbaijani cashmere wool, it was $900.”

“Say, is this black or dark black?”

“Don’t be stupid. You know it’s dark black.”

“Of course, how could I be your sweet cheese, your good time boy and not know the difference between black and dark black? I shouldn’t have even joked.”

“Sweet cheese? Awfully romantic and presumptuous of you. Bold. Did the rats teach you that one? It reeks of the pungent desperation only they can create.”

“Yep,” You nod. “They also taught me the single ladies dance, analysed Vonnegut, weighed the pros and cons of the Kardashian’s removing their BBL’s, and taught me how avoid STD’s. Very well-rounded people those ring rats.”

“How do you avoid STD’s?”

“Don’t sleep with patient zero. I got the information a little late.”

“Ha-ha. Wow. So funny. Is that part of the tight ten you’re working on? I’d cut it, it’s not landing as well as you think.”

You laugh and he smiles. “That’s better. I hate seeing you sad.” You bury yourself into him with a content sigh. No one was better at turning your mood around than Maxwell Jacob Friedman.

“Same. It’s why I had to say something to him. I know how much it hurt you what he did.”

“It did. But it’s over. He can’t ruin tonight for me; do you want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Because during your little revenge rampage, you told him you loved me.” He says sounding awfully smug.

You retrace your words realising you had in fact said that. A blush brightens your cheeks. You had really promised yourself you weren’t going to be the first one to say it. Damn CM Punk.

“Did I? How strange.” You reply in a faux disinterested tone.

He nods seriously, “You did.”

“Hmm,” You hum, swallowing down the nerves. You meet his gaze. “Lucky I meant it then.”

“Yeah, I guess it is?”

“Yeah.”

“What will Hunter and Steph say about their precious baby being in love with the enemy?”

“Probably something along the lines of ‘great, how long until we can sign him to a bazillion year contract and make him not the enemy?’ they won’t come out and say it, but I think they are hoping I will seduce you to the darkside.” You grin.

“You think your parents are prostituting you?”

“I mean you have met my dad; he is all about what’s best for business.”

Max laughs, tightening his grip on you. “I’m very happy in AEW.”

“I know. I like dating the enemy. It’s all very Romeo and Juliet, except less misogynist, less creepy, and you are way more of an asshole that Romeo. Romeo was also way more open about his feelings too; I mean, he told Juliet he loved her within like eight minutes. You could learn a thing or two.”

“Are you trying to manipulate me into saying I love you by making me feel bad about not stacking up emotionally against a child?”

“I don’t know, is it working?”

“I love you.”

“Cool.”

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

grabbing my brain by the shoulders and shaking it LISTEN TO ME BRAIN look at all the things you have to live for

ceramics from robin!! they are in the mail!! i really want to see them

tshirts! also in the mail! including the one that says 'i do not wish to perish today'!!

i want to reread lockwood and co and write fics about it! there's this one specific au i have in mind

literally nobody could make sense of adira's story if I was unable to keep working on it lol there's just too many notes hidden in my brain and this story's GOOD it has POTENTIAL it just needs a lot of work

same with taira! like i have a reasonably clean draft but it needs editing badly (but i'm waiting until im in a better frame of mind in general bc otherwise i will mess it up with depressed stuff)

i'm halfway through my reread of into the silent planet

i want to see ransom grow up into a full sized cat

i want to work as a fully qualified midwife!

i want to see a nicu!

i want to go back to my previous placement place for my next mid placement bc they were so good last time i loved them sm

i want to regain my friendship with the boy! whether or not that's something that will ultimately work idk but both of us want it it's just awkward rn

amira's world tour this year might include australia i don't know yet and wouldn't it be a shame if i missed seeing her live bc if she comes to anywhere in my country i am gonna do everything i can to get to a concert

the sheet music my friend gave me of the music he wrote for me, i haven't learnt to play that yet!

i have three and a half socks promised to my parents that i haven't knitted yet

i have that fidget to crochet that i bought the pattern for a while back

i want to try crocheting another bracelet in a slightly different style that might work better in terms of sitting on my wrist (the one i have is too loose bc it fits over my hand and then sits weirdly, i want to see if i can improve that)

vaniah's story is so incredibly personal to me i know hopefully without hubris that im the only person who can write that story and it would be a terrible shame if it was uncompleted

all the many many stories i have in my brain that nobody else would understand without context

gonna borrow my brother's graphics tablet! and i have that set of artworks on psalm 23 to finish

and also a bunch of other artworks i haven't finished yet

i haven't watched lockwood and co yet!

nor have i read mistborn!

someday i want to meet up with various online friends

i haven't seen my sister for over three years irl and sometime i want to go to her place of residence overseas so i can see her

gonna go see harry potter and the cursed child sometime next month with two of my brothers

i just really want to go to a concert of some kind maybe later this year or start of next year when the mso has free concerts

i want to learn that whole thing Jesus says in the later parts of john, it has some of my favourite verses in it

i need to finish learning hebrews

i need to read the queen's thief! i have wanted to for ages but i've been tending towards not reading or only comfort reads/rereads lately

i have so many pieces of music to finish writing

i have that double-knitting hat to learn how to knit and then knit

all those cds i have to listen to!

i need to sort through my photographs, a great many i haven't even LOOKED AT yet

i have to pursue diagnosis for adhd! imagine never knowing if i had adhd or not

i want to paint my nails at least once just to see what it's like

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey there! A bit late but i'm here for the ask game! (*´v｀*) I'd like to ask 1, 11, 23, 63, 78 and 88 but i know it's a lot so no pressure, please feel free to ignore any of them if you don't feel like answering it! 🫂💖

Hi!!! Not late, never late! I will put this under the cut because ~lenght~. These are all very good questions, thank you Lev 💙🪲

(What’s your biggest insecurity? Do you like who you are around people? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you ever get paranoid? What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends? What kinds of things confuse you?)

1 - What’s your biggest insecurity?

My body, which is such a sad answer, but it's true. I'm working on it. My voice - some people do not take me seriously because I have a "girly voice", especially when stressed, even though it's really not that high pitched. I had to force my Big Girl Sexy Deeper Voice out at my previous job just to get my points across. Again, sad.

Also my inability of expressing my feelings out loud. I write it a lot, but I can't genuinely remember the last time I said the words "I love you" with my own voice.

I know why I am the way I am, and I wish it didn't get to me, but this will be my cross to bear until the end of my days. I think I try to be as loudly affectionate as possible here, because I'm hoping it will make it easier for me irl.

11 - Do you like who you are around people?

Depends on the people, really. I like the way I am around my friends, even if there are parts of me I supress. I wish I was better around my sister - she deserves more than I am, and it frustrates me that I sometimes act like our parents towards her. It kills me inside.

I don't know how to answer in relation to my parents. On one hand, it's very relieving to be amongst people who understand certain parts of me without me having to justify or explain (something about being a 1st gen immigrant child lol). On the other, being at home puts me back to my 16yo mindset, when I was really angry and sad and struggling, and I hate it.

With strangers, it really depends. I am too anxious to notice haha. I just really like to be alone, I suppose. It's easier that way, at least.

23 - Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes! I am very much Christian, so I do believe in heaven/hell, and the concept of an afterlife.

I don't really talk about it much here, because I know there are so many of you who have been failed and mistreated in the name of religion (which was not how any of this was supposed to happen, and it really breaks my heart) and prefer to steer away, which I 100% understand. Also, some people get extremely weird around Christians, and assume a number of things without even talking to them, so I spare myself the unpleasantness. I hope this makes some sense!

63 - Do you ever get paranoid?

Baby, anxiety is my middle name. I get paranoid about things you could never imagine. 😎 But yeah.

Every time I hear my door bell ringing, or knocking, I always think it's the police coming to get me, even thought the most illegal thing I've done is download music?? And my family is... normal. No suspicious activity or anything, so I really don't understand why. Make it make sense.

78 - What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

There isn't much I'm not comfortable with tbh. My friends have seen me at my worse, and we know almost everything about each other. We've been friends for a very long time.

Maybe just being affectionate? I have a really hard time with that, but it gets easier around them. And they know how unhinged I am about my blorbos, so I don't really need to censor myself haha. I do a little code-switching. I speak a bit differently around my family, and with them I tend to use a more generalised/commonly accepted language, rather then my parent's countries expressions.

88 - What kinds of things confuse you?

LIFE IN GENERAL. How do you make decisons? How do you know you're in the right path?

Math. Cars. Sports. It's all Simlish to me lmao.

[selene-moonie]

my thoughts while reading shatter me

I'm two thirds of the way into Unravel Me, and unravelling, things definitely are.

It reads like a YA novel - Big surprise Selene, it's a ya novel. Yeah, it's slightly annoying though. I know in my heart and soul I am wrong for comparing it to Hunger Games but I have not read a YA dystopian novel that hits the same. The themes? The fact that the romance was just a ploy in the book that we ate up irl as well? The 2024 relevance? Come on, nothing compares.

Everyone is super touchy - I'll be the first to say as an undersocialised teen, these kinds of books set me tf up for a lot of real life experiences. Does sex always equate to love? No. Are there other ways to show love? Yes. - Ok but Selene, Juliette is touch starved. Fine. But again, why is it that all you guys seem to think about when it comes to emotional intimacy is these extreme sexual touches? - I'm at the point where the switch between Adam and Warner in Juliette's mind is happening, and I think Adam cares more about the physical aspect of it than Warner does - which I enjoy as a reader because again, lust and sexual desire does not equate to love. There are other aspects of relationships that don't include physicality.

I judged the YA teens too harshly when I was a teen - Or maybe I didn't. I didn't want to read about simpering girls whose parents died and suddenly they had the power of a thousand suns but was held back by choosing between two boys - blond and brown haired (it was not the vibe in my years). - On the flip side, I was no better than these confused girls, and many of us growing up were not either. So maybe I misjudged them. It took me years to learn how to stand on my own two feet, and that's with things like therapy and stuff. Nobody had that in those books.

I remember why I stopped reading these stories - Stress mostly. I am so distressed reading this story because every 0.2 seconds, Juliette is about to have a meltdown, every time we see Adam it's because he's melting down, Kenji is just trying to be responsible because he sees the bigger picture, and if that author kills Kenji, I will find her, but no one else ever will.

It seems disconnected from the main point - Or maybe not. Let's look into it - Juliette seems more preoccupied with her new feelings about these boys than she is about the actual fucking threat of the world collapsing. Or something to that effect. She's disconnected from the actual threat, which is the Reestablishment. "Oh the Reestablishment is bad, Warner yum yum." Stop. You just want a normal life, and you are playing at these very adult games. "People have died." Have they? She's so preoccupied with her feelings about Adam and Warner that she actively forgets that Brendan and Winston might be dead. I'm sorry? Should Castle have threatened her after she showed up fucking empty-handed after getting to know Aaron Fucking Warner? Come on.

Kenji is superior - He's the only one who deserves anything ever. He's the only one that understands the threat of what's going on that I don't even think Castle gets.

I'm still on the fence about Omega Point - We've seen it in the French Revolution and my favorite dystopian ya story ever (Hunger Games if you couldn't tell): the people who takes the position of power may be no better than the ones they killed to get the position.

I wonder if killing James will give Juliette and Adam some context - If James dies, it'll definitely be a point of no return. They'll both take the threat seriously, and they'll do their best, or worst.