#maybe i have seen too many parents like that irl

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

have said it before and i'll say it again your child doesn't need to go through a life-threatening illness for you to go easy on them. yeah what her ex said to her back then was hurtful but taking care of someone for so long putting your own life on hold does take its toll eventually esp if you are not the main love interest. she did start working again so soon she did take up more work than others and things like that are all her parents' fault. all those expectations only from her because their other kid was sick long ago just made it even worse for her. the fact that she knew they go easy on her brother because he used to have a hole in his heart but still couldn't tell them that's how heavy the weight of their hopes and their dreams was for her

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey Catie, I think I know those feelings you’re mad about so yeah, I agree, they suck! And not the good kind! Why isn’t there just some magical goat that could lick your palm and 💥 bam, no more icky sticky yucky feelings you don’t want? Because the Universe is out to get us 😫 that’s why 😒. But I guess eventually you learn to take things as they are and realise you really can only do so much and to just. Try and enjoy what you’re doing in the moment, with the people you’re with (or just yourself!). But mm… that’s only a hypothesis, unfortunately I don’t have any tried and tested methods. Still though, and I’m launching you a lotta love too 💞💨🔫

Thank you for such a kind message, I really appreciate. Sending you a lot of love too!!!!! I guess I've just been pretty lonely lately, yknow somewhat long holiday break leading into two meager weeks of class then into finals week, not really seeing anyone too much. I like being alone, but I also get way too into my head and all my negative emotions and actions are amplified to a bad degree.

But thank you again for the msg, you made me laugh with some of the things haha(not the good kind of suck, I'm crying!) I find it kinda hard to reach out to people, again insecurities, so I always feel super appreciative when I get an ask or DM or anything. Sitting here, twiddling my thumbs a lot these days ;;;; But I agree with you!!! You gotta try and keep yourself in the moment and enjoy things, and not languish. I think I just need to draw 24/7 bcs i don't really have conscious thought while doing so 😭😭

[merakiui]

hi, i was checking your twst yandere tag and

idia thoughts? :3

I love Idia. The STYX bgm is a banger. Ignihyde's entire aesthetic is amazing. Book 6 is so scrumptious. OTL I could go on and on.

Whenever I think about yan Idia, I automatically default to STYX Idia thoughts only because I crave an Idia who is a little crazy beneath the awkwardly sweet, endearingly shy otaku who stalks you through the cameras and is too nervous to interact irl. Those parts are wonderful of course, but I just know the guy who rebuilt his dead brother (obviously it's not as simple as that and there's so much more grief and trauma intertwined with those actions),,, but the fact still stands that he built the first technomantic humanoid Twisted Wonderland has ever seen....... HE'S CRAZY SMART!!!! And you can't tell me he wouldn't perform other potentially morally and ethically dubious things in an effort to satisfy grotesque curiosity or some other delusion.... ethics at STYX only go so far until Idia-sama is in charge and as Acting Director everyone else must listen to him. I know he hates his job and doesn't want to inherit it, but ooooooo he's so fine in the STYX uniform.

And also,,, with how his parents are I think they're probably going to ignore the very obvious obsession in the room because as long as Idy is happy it doesn't really matter (and you'll be taken care of and cherished so wonderfully). >w< Mama Shroud saw his files when she logged into his computer in book seven and ever since then she just wants her boy to be happy and in love. Maybe it's even a surprise Idia found someone...... Idia and his father are so similar, so maybe it's a case of both of them being shocked the other found a lover. T_T but now he has a 3D beloved and Mama Shroud couldn't be any happier. I have so many thoughts on the dynamics........

AND HIS PARALLELS WITH ROLLO?!?!?!? Insane....... the way they both grieved entirely differently but could understand all of the feelings that come with mourning. And how they chose to act on that. The anger and the unfairness. Anger at the world, at themselves, at those around them. The self-blame and self-hatred. The burdens of mourning all alone and feeling like no one else can help or did help and that no one can truly understand or sympathize.......... I'm just rambling about everything Idia now... the thoughts are everywhere!!!!!

I just think there's so much potential with Idia who is as smart as he is. He is genuinely so efficient and if he wanted to build something that would make it easier to stalk you or to keep you with him or some other wild yan concept he absolutely would and it would be finished within the day. He's so cool........ orz the power he has...

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello hello! Long time follower!

I really like reading all your translations, theories and fanfics! It's really great to be able to read your thoughts about characters and cards because am a f2p so I have a very limited stash of gems to pull lol

So I was thinking about the rrcent jp update and I went back to read some of your work on Scarabia. I'll admit they weren't amongst my favorites before so I haven't paid too much attention to them. I was wondering then about the couple times you've said Jamil is well off? Maybe it's from one of his SSR cards of his home event, but I can't remember where he or maybe Kalim implies that?

That's it, just a silly question thanks so much for all that you do, I love so much all your theories and thoughts about the lore and the cast! Have a good day!

Hdsbskwhsk I’m glad that my blog brings you joy and makes your free to play experience more fun 🤩 Thanks for sticking with me all this time!

As for your question, I’m not actually sure if there's dialogue which explicitly states the Viper family's level of wealth. I couldn't find any when I combed through, so I had to go off of implications and my own interpretations of those. From what I’ve gathered, I see the Vipers as upper middle class, or at least middle class with a LOT of benefits (the benefits being present boost them to upper middle class due to the lifestyle the benefits afford them).

So firstly, I think there's a lot of debate surrounding Jamil's family income. Some fans seem to think that the Vipers must be destitute due to their position as servants and Jamil's disdain for how the Asims throw around their money and influence. However, perceived social status or class does NOT always equate to being low income. There are people irl who are technically "servants" and "hired help" that make a significant salary while working for much wealthier individuals. There is data for bodyguards, private chefs, executive assistants, and skilled nannies who earn six-figure incomes and/or excellent benefits working for celebrities, politicians, businessmen, etc. (Notably, guarding, cooking, scheduling/planning, and generally looking after Kalim are all a part of Jamil's duties.) Real world examples of this include employees of the White House and the British royal family.

Now, that all depends a lot on the type of people the employers are. There are many wealthy families who mistreat their staff and/or don't pay them well. From what I've seen of the Asims though, I definitely feel that this is not the case. To begin with, the Vipers don't just do one task for the Asims, they do a LOT. You're already aware of the constant work Jamil has to do around the clock to keep Kalim safe and satisfied, but his parents must do the same. They're described as experts in hospitality and are frequently hosting and entertaining guests from all over Twisted Wonderland. This is skilled labor, and that demands commiserate pay. Not only that, but Kalim describes his father as someone who is very generous (and the guy has plenty of money to spare). I don’t see why Mr. Asim would purposefully skimp on specifically paying the Vipers.

I would also imagine that the Vipers are afforded other benefits. Jamil has said many times that he has to look or act a certain way, as his behavior/appearance reflects on the family he serves. Therefore, the Asims may provide other things Jamil and the Vipers need to “look good” and to best represent and serve the Asims. This could mean food, clothes, transportation/travel expenses, education (like additional training, manners lessons, certification exams, etc.) all paid for on the Asim family’s coin. Jamil has mentioned that his parents gave him lessons in everything he’d need to know in order to serve Kalim, so this tells his parents are also well-educated and/or were at least able to pay for lessons for Jamil. And these lessons aren’t “normal” lessons either, it includes things like formal bodyguard training (you’d have to pay for this irl) and formal table manners (which most of us aren’t taught unless we seek it out).

We also recently learned in book 7 that the Vipers live on Asim property, which is very luxurious. Jamil states that his family would be on the streets should they lose their place serving the Asims—and this could be interpreted in a very literal sense if we think of as losing the roof over their heads. Yes, it's technically not land or housing that the Vipers own, but it is still free high-class lodging, nonetheless. It is a benefit that is afford to them (among others) because of their job(s), similar to those real life examples I mentioned before. One could make the argument that none of this wealth truly belongs to the Vipers. However, you could also argue that because these benefits come with the job, it technically is theirs as long as they keep their job (which is, in fact, how jobs irl work; if you stop working for an employer then naturally you’ll stop getting the benefits that come with that job eventually). It’s complicated. I suspect that, at the very least, part of the reason why the Vipers don’t want to depart from serving the Asims is because they don’t want to lose the pay and the perks that come with their work.

I want to add that the Vipers’ position also gives them the unique advantage of exposing them to tons of important individuals. They are able to meet and connect with these VIPs when most people could never even dream of meeting them, even if just from the viewpoint of a servant. It’s a similar to Lilia and Silver, who technically are not rich (money-wise) but still have ties with majorly influential people (members of the Draconia royal family).

Obviously, the Vipers still aren’t as rich as the Asims and probably will never be, but I believe they still enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. We never see Jamil worry about money or being short of it. He gives his VDC/SDC earnings away without batting an eye, unlike Deuce (from a single-parent income family) who keeps the money since it would really help out his mom. He doesn’t have to work a ton of odd jobs to make ends meet (unlike Ruggie). But Jamil does haggle and act frugal. I think that behavior comes from not a genuine need but Jamil being mindful and planning ahead to avoid being scammed. He’s shown to be a cautious individual who often is the one putting the breaks on Kalim’s extravagance, so I feel the skill also comes partly from having to be the one to curb his ridiculous spending and bring Kalim down to earth. Jamil is still the type of person who would tell Kalim when he’s buying too much or overdoing things, even when it’s not Jamil’s own money being spent and he knows Kalim can afford it. That’s what leads me to believe his frugalness isn’t necessarily the result of him being low income and “needing” to save. If that were the case, he shouldn’t care if Kalim throws his own money at buying diamond jewelry for all the dorm members as souvenirs.

I think the closest metric we have as a frame of reference for how wealthy Jamil is comes from the Tapis Rouge event. In it, Jamil forks out 500 thaumarks (or 50000 madol) to buy a jacket. He remarks that the price is fairly expensive but good quality so it’s worth it. Whether you consider this an indicator of his low or high wealth is really all relative to what your own perception is. Jamil had also previously remarked that what the Mostro Lounge charges is absurd. In Ruggie’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Azul quotes the price of one soft drink as 4 thaumarks/400 madol. Jamil responds with “Four? Talk about a markup.” It should be noted that the latter example doesn’t mean Jamil cannot afford a drink of that price; he’s complaining about how expensive Azul has made it to capitalize on the high demand. Do with this knowledge what you will.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! I hope I was able to explain myself well. If you have any thoughts, please feel free to express them ^^

[daydream-cement]

Dinner Mix-Up

Larissa Weems x Reader

This is a super special birthday story for my wifey @funky--lesbian. She was the one who gave me the idea and I'm simply writing it out for her. It was so wonderful meeting you IRL Tuesday <3

She had been insanely busy. So busy that she was coming home late in the evenings, long after you retired to bed. In the mornings, she left before you woke, needing to get into the office before she had any students cause trouble during the moments she slept. You could tell Larissa was running herself into the ground.

With the arrival of the Addams’ girl and her family, not to mention the beast on the loose, Larissa was at wit's end with the school year. Time and time again, you tried reminding yourself that this semester was one of the worst the headmistress had ever seen, but you couldn’t help but feel forgotten about, in a way. She was always so tired and completely unwilling to share the burden with you, making it nearly impossible to support your girlfriend. 

Two days prior, you waited up for her, watching her trudge into the bedroom, strip herself of her clothes, and crawl into bed. Sleepily, you gather her into your arms and gently dance around your feelings as you pull the pins from her hair, “I missed you so much today, darling. I wondered if you would like to go on a date with me on Friday?” 

“Mhmm... I would love that. I miss you.” Larissa hummed, happy to have her hair loosened and her face buried into your chest. 

“How about that sweet little Italian restaurant that just opened in Burlington?” You scooch yourself down in bed, keeping your arm around her. The two of you had been dating for years, Larissa always keeping you level-headed while you helped her find peace on her craziest of days. 

You could tell she was on the verge of sleep from how her breathing began to slow just a bit, her grip around you loosening a tad, “Mmokay, darling... I’ll call tomorrow for reservations...” 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you too...” She mumbled back, nuzzling her face into you before going still. You knew it would be just a few moments before she was sleeping, which made you smile in the fact that she was at peace. Even this short conversation was making you feel closer to Larissa, settling many of your worries about the two of you growing apart.

Well, that was until you got to the restaurant and waited... and waited... and waited. 

You sat in the restaurant like a fool for over an hour. Larissa hadn’t even bothered to call or respond to any of your attempts at communication. 

At first, you drove home fuming, ready to give Larissa Weems a piece of your mind upon returning home, but when you entered and Larissa was nowhere to be found, you broke down. You couldn’t help yourself when you curled up on the couch and wept as Larissa had absolutely broken your heart. 

Was a relationship just too much for Larissa right now? Perhaps Larissa was reminded of her old feelings for her roommate with Parents Weekend two weekends ago? Or maybe she didn’t really mean it when she said she loved you? There was always the chance she was saying it out of habit and it had lost all meaning to her. 

All of your ruminating had you spiraling. Your whole body shook from the sobs and the decorative pillow on the couch was soaked with your tears. How could you and Larissa have fallen this far? You would do anything to make her love you as she once had. 

The front door opened with a jolt, Larissa slamming it behind herself when she saw your form sitting on the couch. With her deep rapid breaths and the way her eyes narrowed in on you, she was in an absolute rage, “Where were you?!”

“Where was I?! Where have you been? What is wrong with me?” You began to verbalize your spiraling, shouting straight back at your girlfriend, deeply conflicted by your feelings of anger and sadness, “I just don’t know what I can do to make you love me! I can- I can be different. I can change. What do you want from me? Do you want me to be more like Morticia? I’ll do whatever you want... Please... I love you...”

“Nothing is wrong with you! I just waited like a fool for hours and you didn’t show up!” Larissa circled the couch and dropped onto the cushion next to you, ready to argue. Her brows furrow at the mention of Morticia’s name, the sight of you weeping so openly bringing tears to the woman’s eyes, “I don’t know why you even mention her! I love you, not her.”

“What do you mean I didn’t show up? You didn’t show up!”

“I was sitting there at a beautiful, romantic, candlelit dinner waiting for you! You are the one who bothered not to show!”

“Candle-lit? The place isn’t that fancy! Don’t pretend you were there!”

“It’s a five-star restaurant! What do you mean it isn’t fancy?” Larissa’s tears were fading into a cry-laugh, her anger fading into an amused confusion. She reached into her coat pocket, pulling a handkerchief to dab at your tears. 

You spoke with a slight shake to your voice, “We went to different restaurants... Didn’t we?” Her soft laughter began to make you laugh, coming to realize that you had been at different restaurants, standing one another up while being stood up. Larissa’s beautiful hand reaching out, coming to grasp your face.

You dove forwards, wrapping your arms around Larissa’s middle, and felt her arms hold you tight. Her tone was thick with regret, “I think we did.” 

“I’m sorry, Riss...” You mumbled into her neck, the floodgates had opened and all of your emotions were ready to come pouring out. There was so much you had kept from Larissa during the previous months and now you were ready to divulge it all with her. 

“Honey, it was just one big misunderstanding...” Your girlfriend attempted to soothe you once more, hand to the back of your head as she cooed to you, worried you still felt guilt for the switch-up. 

Gripping her a little tighter, you crawled into Larissa’s lap, spilling your heart to the woman before you in hopes she could come to understand all that you had been feeling, “No... I’m sorry that life has just been so much recently. I’m sorry you are overworked and that I can’t do anything to help you.”

“Darling...” Larissa gathered your face in her hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks, “You keep me sane. Coming home to you each night... Just seeing you in bed waiting for me is... everything. From all of this, the one thing I’ve realized is how I can’t live without you.”

Her words were an incredible comfort to hear as you returned the sentiment, “I can’t live without you. I love you so much, Larissa.” You turned your face into her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm, your eyes not leaving hers. 

The headmistress chuckled, shaking her head as you hadn’t quite understood where she was going with her thoughts. Her hands on your face dropped, one coming to grasp your hand while the other reached into her jacket pocket, her gaze was more intense this time, “No... Darling... I truly cannot live without you.” 

You finally understood when your eyes gazed down and saw the small box at Larissa’s fingertips. The beating of your own heart became rapid as you could hardly comprehend what was happening in this moment. After all of this, all of the pain and heartache you put yourself through, your girlfriend, your love, your everything wanted to marry you. 

“Rissa...?” You questioned, still not able to fully understand how she could be proposing after all of this. 

“Marry me... Please. I can’t live without you.” Larissa wasn't quite asking as much as she was pleading with you. She needed to know you would be by her side always. To be her peace and bring her sanity in the darkest times of her job. 

You must have confused the woman as you shook your head ‘no’ out of pure disbelief, but your words quickly countered your actions, “Yes, yes, a million times yes.” Rather than put the ring on your finger, you dove into Larissa’s arms, tackling her to the couch and pressing a deep, loving kiss to her lips. 

Tonight had been a rollercoaster, but you knew Larissa had been your rock and now she would be until death do you part. 

[madfantasy]

New 3 things that happened:

*I got my new ID, my id expired and to renew it I had to get photographed, and since I just opened my bank account a year ago it depends on it so already I was giving up on the idea to keep the account but by miracle a photographer agreed to picture us at home, and it turned to us cuz I wanted all my sibs to have theirs taken with me too and because I had to argue first time to get my ID forever, so i didn't have the energy to keep doing it for the rest of my sibs so now it was the chance. The day of the photographer coming I was shaking with fear and I thought I would never leave the bathroom gotten ill. I fear seeing people more than dyin so I don't know how I held it together, I literally don't remember how it went or how I did, but I recall my sibs looking the same as I felt but it was finally done. parents too taken their shoots and because one needed their passport renewed to renew their id, them alone costing 1k$ and the appointment was set 6 months ahead, we R now close to it anyway, and the thought of how we have to pay to exist some more costly made me think of my worthlessness and helplessness even more, making me ashamed of still living.

The thing that blinded me, me the first to be tested on lo

*my eye is better, I still see a dark spot looking in a certain direction, getting an eye mask surprisingly helped keeping my eyes less dry cuz they be the most when I wake up and I had the driest time before it got infected and swelled, and already I'm used to the spot and can ignore it..

*I'm still drawing, literally it's making me live love and laugh, I don't care about improving or drawing my best constantly, ai can get poisoned for all I care as it continues to dehumanise the whole point of art-- keeping humanity alive ( btw use glazing ❤️🖤)

I realised that I don't have any physical collection of my art & since I can't look at the screens forever just to browse, nd printing all my stuff isn't feasible, then I came across those mini albums Nd I got the idea to just print one sheet = 9 pics! They look good too for trashy quality, I love it 8' and yes, purple and silver is the 10% obsession to my 90% red and black pallets, thanks to remembering Freeza c'x

But as usual posting my drawings never cease to eat me alive with anxiety, but I think I'm slowly becoming indifferent to it, even if the thought of that no one actually sees my art but me, which is the main case cuz I am living in isolation and being drawing in secret till few recent years because of my conservative surroundings, I feel much calmer when I'm not seen and maybe it's self destructive in a way cuz to stay posting I need to be commissioned cuz net bill, but it became irrelevant cuz I accepted that i can't have the mental capacity to be a social media person or chase anything that I already knew I can't maintain, I had an art block for a year I almost believed that was it for my art drive and me cuz it my sanity— cuz burning out so bad. If my post has a description it was in my drafts for months cuz I plan for every piece I share, but if can't form words I allow myself to let it be captionless, I draw faster than I form words and that's why art is important to me on a personal level, it's my first way of express even if its indirect, the only bit of human Mani left to live in me to put through lines and paint splodges. Even if no one sees it, and to be honest with myself, have very weak chances of being seen on a level that benefits me financially, I'm on the other side of the world, never seen the sky beyond my schooling days, nonverbal irl and know that I can get taken advantage of easily in social manner because it either I don't get the social cues or can't say no..

I'm grateful that at least I got the chance to experience being in a loving nurturing fandom like Sev's that made me experience genuine human goodness and care I never thought possible, made me have some self worth, personality beyond a made for marriage caretaker, and allowed me to get art tools and clothing that I was never allowed or could afford, and many first time small life pleasures like perfumes, food and toys, even if I only recognise 5 or 10 of you dears now, by DP liking my posts- (I suck at remembering names sorry)

I'm also grateful to have a room after endless years of couch and house movings, I have a safe space to still be able to draw and be cool under an AC in this 50° weather..

I think realistically that's the best it can get having spent all my life trying to get anywhere but isolated, and nothing working. At least I'm indifferent and fine of being the caretaker of my disabled guardians and siblings, I need them as much as they need me, even if it caused me the same cycle of mental anguish and earth leavings hehe

Wish U all the ease and peace and yummy peas 🫶🏽

4 am, sleep deprived

[siriustaylorsversion]

Hi!

I love your writing and just wanted to request a sadie sink x reader where they both are starring in stranger things. It can be both in social media and irl.

Thank you!!!

daylight

thank you!! i wasn't sure if you wanted it to be just social media separately so i made it a mix of both... i am so in love with sadie sink it's not a joke.

face claim: gacie abrams warnings: language based on the song daylight by taylor swift!

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in Everyone looked worse in the light There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

I never thought that one day would turn my life over this much. I went from just a high school kid to an actress in strangers things along with some of my best friends and as cheesy as this sounds... my heart. Sadie and I had been best friends for two years (while I had the biggest crush on her, mind you) before one drunken night I kissed her out of the blue... imagine my surprise when she kissed me back...

I was on cloud nine. It felt like a dream. Hell, it still does! Every time she looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes gives me that smile, talks to me with her intoxicating voice, and every goddamn time she touches me, I lose it. And... so do the fans.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

yourname.official

yourname.official happy two years @sadesink!!! i am so so lucky to have you by my side. you are my rock, my best friend, and my soulmate and i am grateful for all the highs and lows and for every single moment i've spent with you. thank you for your unwavering support, your infectious laughter, and your unconditional love. you are the reason I wake up each day with a smile on my face, and the thought of spending my life with you fills me with joy. happy anniversary, my love. Here's to many more years of love, laughter, and happiness. liked by sadiesink, taylorswift and 3,09,800 others.

sadiesink You really brought tears in my eyes. I love you so so much. Thank you for... everything 🥺💕

forever.more OMFG MY PARENTS 🥺 fearstrx you're both so gorgeous!!!! y/nsinks this duo is the only reason i believe in love anymore 😔 yourname.forevermore I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOU BOTH. I'VE FINALLY STARTED LOVING LIFE.

milliebobbybrown 💘🥺

taylornation you guys!!! 💓

yourname.forevermore SCREAMING.CRYING.THROWINGUP.

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky And so I became the butt of the joke I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now It's brighter now, now

-flashback-

"You what?!" I asked furrowing my brows feeling a mixture of anger and confusion. "I revealed that we're dating on the jimmy fallon show..." she said with uncertainty in her eyes. "I heard what you said.. but why?" I asked. "Do you not want anyone to know-" "No, of course, I do but, are you sure that YOU want to be seen with me?" She walked up and gave me a hug from behind which she knows always calms me down... "There's nothing I'd want more," she said almost in tears. "I'm- don't cry, Sades" I mutter with my eyes closed. "Sadie... I care about you so so much but you realize both our managing teams said that it's best not to reveal this, right?!" "You think I care, I don't want to hear any of their remarks but the thing that I want most is to be with you!" she hugged me from behind, knowing my weakness. "Of course, I want that too. I just want what's most beneficial for you..." I said. "Well, staying with you has many many benefits" she whispered laughing into the crook of my neck. "Oh my, ms. Sink, you've managed to convince me" I finally break into a smile and pull her in front of me.

And I can still see it all (In my mind) All of you, all of me (Intertwined) I once believed love would be (Black and white) But it's golden (Golden) And I can still see it all (In my head) Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed) I once believed love would be (Burning red) But it's golden Like daylight, like daylight Like daylight, daylight

We had finished our press release and were walking to a pub with the whole cast. Sadie looked like a goddess. No joke, she looked better than Aphrodite herself and I had just zoned out thinking about how goddamn lucky I was. Of course, being the darling she is, she noticed this and gave me a playful nudge... "I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life, Sadie Sink" I look her in the eyes and voice my thoughts. "Yes, you are now don't get all sappy on me," She says while squeezing my hands three times. This woman right here? I'm gonna marry her. I decided that right then and there. The light that she's gotten in my world.. she's the literal definition of sunshine in my eyes. She's my daylight. She is my everything I realize watching her with pride shining in my eyes.

Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it go

-flashback-

It was terrifying, our 5-month anniversary... I had rehearsed many many scripts before but now my head fails me as I am in front of the love of my life finally wanting to admit it that I loved her...

We paused in front of our favorite bakery and got our favorite croissants. Sitting on the bench I let my panic take over... "Okay I need to tell you something but I need you to stay quiet," She said to me. "Thank you for being here with me for so long and I am so so grateful for you. You're the most perfect girl I've ever seen and" "Okay..." I managed to speak out but all I saw was black and white as I anticipated the words "but we should see other people".

"I-" she stayed quiet for the longest thirteen seconds of my life and then she said, "it's been occurring to me that I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life." It was our thing... when we couldn't express our feelings fully with words, we started using lyrics.

I wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love

"I love you, y/n y/l/n" she said looking up at me with hopeful eyes. "Well, damn you beat me to it. And with Taylor swift lyrics, how original!" I talked back. "Shut up you scared me there" she laughed out.

"I’ve never been so into somebody before and every time we both touch I only want more. I love you more, Sadie Sink" I say

"Not possible!" She says and just as I am about to counter her, she kisses me to shut me up. Yes... the best day ever.

[stackslip]

chapter 140 thoughts under the cut

fujimoto's goal of rewriting fire punch with a bit more silliness continues (i love the chainsaw pews)

fujimoto said i know writers who do subtlety and they're all cowards

BROBENI CONFIRMED. now to know if he's her younger brother who was gonna be put through college by kobeni's exploited labour (which..... gd damn that parallel with denji and nayuta......). also i've been told nobana is traditionally a female name.......... hm.

real, though in this context it sounds more like anti usamerican imperialism language repurposed for nationalist ends..... it's not fujimoto is uncritical of america either though considering the gun devil in part 1. fascinating to see where this might go and how much that kind of language parallels irl pro-japanese imperialism and nationalists' own discourse.

i find it fascinaing that kids are considered the only acceptable members of the cult only to be introduced to an adult leader several pages later lol. but obviously the cult (because this 200% is a cult) is filling a gap--the first half of part 1 showed us how much it fucking SUCKS to be even an ordinary kid both irl and in this world, the lack of agency and the poverty and being preyed upon by adults or abandoned entirely, and then mocked on national tv when they take the deaths of their classmates and friends seriously..... so of course so many would end up here, being told that adults really ARE dangerous and incapable of seeing the world the way they do. cleverly done, i hope fujimoto expands on this and doesn't fall back on Let Adults Take Care Of This

similarly i hope this doesn't fall into the liberal storytelling trap of "the government is bad, but this new group has appeared that's Even Worse, so the government is actually good now" that also appears in so many shounen tbh. i don't think he will bc even outside of the church public safety is still so fucked up

denji's expressions this chapter are top tier lmao. genius move to make denji the "straight man" in the previous few chapters where he's genuinely flabbergasted by how batshit everyone else is

FUCKING CRYING. yeah the implications are dire but. HOWL

again jokes asides there is SO MUCH to unpack here. you'll get married AND THEN become a member of the church (implying marriage is a requirement or, as said later, strongly encouraged to join the cult at all). sex is consummated immediately in the next room. so far we've mostly seen men and boys in charge of the church, except for fami/kiga......... which...... does not bode well. makes me wonder how many are pressured into marriage/sex both as a way to attract new male followers and as a way to keep control over all

speaking of which. it says student but they mean /high school students/, maybe even middle school students, aka again children! and again the language of Modernity Has Lied To Us, Child Marriage And Ownership Is The Way right there being recited. the appeal to nationalism and what is "natural", kids as property of their parents and the church,.... and yes i AM reminded of behemboth(?), the patriarchal city-cult of fire punch whose entire horrid existence is justified with "it's natural" and "we are saving people by giving them shelter here". the patriarchy is central here!

and of course the part about kids being born and raised into the church themselves...... after shinzo abe's death, japan's having a bit of a reckoning re the influence of cults in political life and vice versa, and particularly the impact on children raised in said cults. there's also been a reactionary backlash to the idea of *foreign* cults (like the unification church, originally from korea) having "too big" an influence on japan, versus the Good National Japanese Cults that are spared some of that backlash. so i find it interesting that fujimoto firmly grounds this as a *japanese* nationalist cult that claims to be trying to save the country from foreign influence. obviously i'd love to know more, bc i'm sure there's a lot of language and references in the original that i'm missing and that mirror irl japanese politics and reactionary tendencies.

denji's backlash in forcing kids to get married.... i do wonder how much of his backlash comes from the idea of forced child marriage (and being forced in general), or if he would have been okay with someone being pressured to have sex with him without marriage, or he wouldn't have thought about it tbh.

i want to see the chainsaw man bathroom............

the hybrids all coming together.... wonder if this means reze and quanxi will be back PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. but also in the context of the church.... the weapon hybrids were used as various governmental projects and living weapons for years--japan, china, the ussr, and i imagine the usa and other western powers had their own as well. then they got controlled by makima, and now they're in the church.... i hope we explore more of the abuse and parallels they have with denji, and see just how and why miri trusts in the church so much as a refuge compared to his previous abuse. ALSO BRING BACK REZE AND QUANXI GD PLEASE......

this is 200% the guy who was in the shadows telling haruka it was all planned. and again the irony of nobana talking about how this is a church by and for children, only to immediately be threatened by someone who is very obviously an adult in charge

his eyes REALLY freak me out btw, fujimoto did a great job at his expressions lol. also really love the detail of the suspenders and the

barem.... the closest i could find for that name's meaning was the hebrew for "son of nation" which. hm! worrisome!

so idk if fujimoto was TRYING to give this dude the vibes of a sexual predator but between the cult's pressuring kids to get married and have sex, his role as one of the sole adult "humans" around, his treatment of nobana, and his general demeanor and manner of speech + the themes of sexual abuse and predation in the series in general........ gd he gives me the absolute creeps lmao, incredible design and tone. also what he says here about asa which gives me SO MANY red flags and makes me think more of the patriarchal aspect of the cult too

the name of the chapter is "scales"..... which is associated with kiga, as the horseman of Famine. and of course during the whole chapter we hear about how the church is necessary and its actions help save lives etc etc etc. just as we heard the yakuza justify their existence to makima, just as public safety justified its own existence in terms of killing devils while really using them as a way to terrorize the population and threaten other nations.

i find it interesting that in a way, kiga gave a similar deal to asa but in far more positive a view. do these things for us, become this weapon for us, and this person you care about (or think you know even if briefly) will live. kiga was just a lot better at presenting it and obsfucating the actual horrors that would follow--denji however is in too deep, and doesn't buy into the bs anymore. so he's given much more stark and open a choice! just as public safety tried to threaten denji to keep quiet lest they kill nayuta and raise her as their own all over again! gd he and asa's lack of agency..... fuck me up so so bad

wondering if we're eventually going to come back to denji's motif of choosing a third choice and refusing the dual choice entirely! wonder if asa herself will only see a single solution in front of her every time......

anyhow. good chapter. there's gotta be a lot that i'm missing here in terms of relations to current japanese political context and i'd love to learn more on it tbh.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

do you have any specific theory regarding kunikida’s backstory? i honestly never thought about how he might have met fukuzawa when he was much younger, always assumed it happened after he dropped out of uni, but this makes much more sense tbh. i’m huge on the idea of him coming from a military family (would explain how he could’ve met fukuzawa and why on earth he knows how to operate every fire arm in existence)

I have so many ideas about Kunikida! The idea of him coming from a military family is definitely interesting - it fits with the author irl and would explain a lot of his mannerisms. I'm partial to him having an estranged relationship with his family in general, because it's mentioned in Kunikida and Katai's Magnificent Days that eventually Kunikida grew to spend more time around Katai than he did his family, and because most of the ADA don't really seem to have family outside each other. No one they worry about being pulled into things when they're accused of terrorism or targeted by the Port Mafia back when they were still antagonists, etc. With Ranpo, Atsushi, and Kyouka we know their parents are dead; with Yosano, Dazai, the Tanizakis and Kenji we know that even if they're not dead they're not really involved in their kids lives enough to matter much at all. I'm inclined to think Kunikida's are similar; we know they exist, but I don't think he has a good relationship with them, if they're still alive (they could have died after he met Katai).

In terms of his past, I definitely think Kunikida had a violent past. Man is way too down with casually throttling people - between that and his extensive knowledge of weapons, as well as how good he is hand to hand combat wise, it makes me think he must have had a tumulus past.

I saw a fanfiction once where he was a child solider in the Great War alongside Yosano, making weapons for the army - while I don't think it's canon, or else it probably would have been mentioned when her backstory was, I think the idea of Kunikida being somehow trained as a child solider definitely has merit. Given how people with Abilities tend to be weaponized in the BSD-verse, how strict Kunikida is despite having a hatred of authority and a tendency to violence, it makes sense to me. It's canon he dropped out of college, but he was also working with the Agency by age 18/19 at a maximum, so I think it's possible he joined college while working there and dropped out.

Another option is him having been in some sort of high school gang. Blonde hair in anime is often used to denote delinquency - so I think it's a given Kunikida was a delinquent as a teenager (especially given his attitude). In this case, his familiarity with violence would probably come via brawls with other gangs and such. I've also seen ideas of him being something of a teen vigilante, which is also definitely possible - teenage Kunikida without a sense of direction for his moral compass, I could see going that route.

Either way, I think he met Fukuzawa young. I've theorized at age 15, to mirror how Chuuya met Mori at 15, but I definitely think he met him before adulthood. I think Fukuzawa was the one who gave him his Ideals notebook, both the physical thing and the direction Kunikida needed to develop that sense of morality and desire to save people we see in canon. I think Fukuzawa had to be instrumental for him - like, why would Kunikida, who dislikes authority and is rude to basically everyone, respect and defer to Fukuzawa so much? Why is Fukuzawa one of the first people we see him use honorifics for? What would cause that type of a relationship?

So yes, I think meeting Fukuzawa was a huge turning point for Kunikida, however it may have been. Maybe he gave him a sense of direction and a way to harness his idealism via the Agency; maybe Fukuzawa was the one who taught him how to help people with his abilities all together. Either way, I can't see someone like Kunikida having such a deep deference and respect for Fukuzawa without him being deeply linked to who Kunikida is as a person, at age 22.

I also wonder if however Kunikida and Fukuzawa met, if it was originally negative or antagonistic. By the time Dazai's Entrance Exam rolls around, Kunikida clearly knows well what Fukuzawa is talking about when he mentions testing Dazai, so Dazai's clearly not the first one to go through that. Given we know neither Yosano nor Ranpo had to pass an entrance exam to join the Agency, our choices are down to either Kunikida or Katai as the first people to take one, which... if it was Kunikida, why would Fukuzawa want that? Why would he want to make sure this guy, specifically, was a good fit for the Agency morally, given Kunikida's such a moral character? What was it that made Fukuzawa want to test Kunikida, if that was what happened?

[jolynesmom]

if it’s okay with you, tell us about your tokyo revengers DR. i’d love to know how you relate to that world, your background story (if that’s okay), and whether you’re part of any gang 🙂🗣

hii, yes omg I would love to talk about it thank you for the request!!

while I really like this dr, it’s definitely one of my more lackluster and simple drs. I usually write more complex backstories for my drs, but for this one I kept it simple for a few reasons + I actually haven’t seen the last season, but I plan on doing it soon and update my script

so basically before baji met the others and formed toman, I moved into his apartment building with my family and our moms became friends instantly because of a common interest and they forced me and baji to become friends too. we hated each other at first because of our literal opposite personalities but after some time we became inseparable. this dr follows the ‘canon’ story from the anime just like the majority of my drs because I just like it the best (well it somehow follows it because I scripted a bunch of deaths and situations out)

so after some time we befriend mikey, all 3 of us start going to his grandpa’s dojo together and after some time we befriend the others and form toman while we’re in our last year of middle school. I aged everyone up because I preferred it this way plus would make more sense irl, so at the moment everyone in toman is finishing up highschool or maybe even in uni (I scripted uni is chill because I couldn’t be bothered to care about studying 😭)

my position in toman is acting vice president because I don’t really like to lead or give orders, but can do it if absolutely necessary when draken and/or mikey are not available for some reason

one very small difference I added in this dr is related to my s/o. I usually don’t script partners because it’s either not on my mind or I’m just curious to see who’d be into me without scripting, but here I added han from stray kids as my s/o because recently he’s really had my attention and I don’t know why, but I just feel like he fits in the tokyo revengers verse/a gang, especially when you think how he used to act predebut 😭

so he’s part of a notorious enemy gang to toman (I didn’t script much about this gang, but honestly I might add some more stuff) and after this enemy gang is brutally defeated by toman they’re going to disband and han will seek me out to join us and yeah

a lot of the time I like to connect my drs with things that happened in this reality to overcome there what I couldn’t do here, and this includes my tokyo revengers dr as well. here I grew up very sheltered and I would always be punished or humiliated by my family if I ever tried to rebel because of their positions in the society I grew up in. in my dr they hold important positions as well (dad is a police officer and mom is a nurse) and me being in a gang without their knowledge is my way of revenge (no pun intended) for both realities. I hate being constrained, and being in a gang, especially as a girl, is my way of saying ‘fuck you’ to my family (and honestly the society I grew up in) for keeping me in chains. I know they only wanted the best for me but it really messed me up as I grew up

also growing up I never had male friends, let alone best friends, because my parents didn’t like me hanging out around guys, so I think my best friend being a guy and having mostly guys as friends is going to be a nice change for me, so yeah that’s definitely another thing I’m excited about

another thing I love about this dr for is how it’s set in the early 2000s. I’ve seen a lot of people (esp on tiktok) complain about places they want to shift to being set in the 90s or 00s because they don’t have access to the internet and tiktok and blah blah blah!! y’all are boring!! the 2000s were literally superior in so many ways. I miss so much the vibe from back then and the technology like the funny phones or when the internet just became a thing and people used yahoo and hi5 to talk to each other; it was so great how people were more connected back then and that’s one of the main things I look forward to;

like it’s going to be so fun how the guys will need to come get my ass personally for a meeting because phones back then had a limit on how much you can call and text, so it was preferred to talk in person unless absolutely necessary 😭

most relationships feel so shallow here, so I’m genuinely excited to go hang out with my friends and talk about everything and nothing instead of everyone playing on their phones; I also scripted yahoo and hi5 are the most used social platforms in japan because those were sooo fun to be on

I hope you found my answer interesting!! <3

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[brb-on-a-quest]

What's one of your favorite childhood memories?

Hello, friend, good to see you, even if you do hide in the shadows. Hope you are well. <3

Let me tell you about a time I fell in love with storytelling all over again. I grew up on stories; I loved having my dad read to me when I was little (we read Narnia books, the Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings, Robin Hood, etc. I loved *all* of it). I loved the stories of found families and tight friendships like it was my bread and butter because I hadn't made any friends I could get closed to bc family moved around a lot (a decision I don't resent my family for now, but despised as a kid), and I wasn't really *that* close to my family either due to probably a variety of factors, not excluding mental health issues. I won't delve for the sake of length, you get the point. I was a sad and lonely child and my closest friends were imaginary. Anyway back to more concrete events:

We had just moved from Florida to Virginia, which is about 1000 miles away and over 13 hour drive (for context), and we had just started a new co-op (think like homeschool school, but it only met like once a week, it was one of the ways we'd start building up a new social circle or something). And one of the classes I took in was something music (more likely theater? related but that might have a different semester) and the first week of this co-op I remember they gave us a bingo card with a bunch of famous movie soundtracks and they told us we were going to identify the movie based on the song alone.

I got 2/20 or something bc I hadn't even heard of most of these movies bc i just hadn't been exposed to it. It was things like Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, maybe spongebob- pop culture stuff that I just hadn't seen. So everyone else was getting excited and I was feeling more and more out of the loop and alone.

I swear this turns happy at the end, bear with me, anon. They play the final music track and I don't recognize it at all but it fills me with such great joy and a call for a new adventure that I hadn't even realized music could do that before (we didn't listen to a lot of our own music growing up, it was mainly whatever my parents found appropriate or what my dad liked).

It was How To Train Your Dragon. Test Drive. John Powell. And then like the musical scores, they showed the scene it was from. A boy and his dragon racing, flying through the air. And I fell in love With the characters arcs per se, but I could tell there was a deep lore there and a story of friendship that I craved so much. It was also right up my alley with stories my Dad had read me so there was also that. But like the music was fantastic, I really liked the visuals at the time (i usually hate most 3D animation films, HTTYD is the exception), and I craved the story behind it.

I saved up money from Birthday and Christmas and ended up buying it. And I watched it. And I fell in love even harder. Cause, in some sense, I related to hiccup too much. I was a creative person, like he was, I had very little friends like he did at the beginning, we had similar senses of humor at some points, and he was fascinated with knowing and learning things. And he had a big dragon friend and i again craved that friendship deeply. So he added to the crew of imaginary friends and I went on many imaginary adventures with Hiccup and Toothless and told myself so many stories that I wish I could remember now for writing inspo.

I ended up moving from Virginia to middle of nowhere Midwest US (not saying where in case the Fey Find Out), and I did end up meeting my IRL Toothless. A little bit scary on the outside at firsts, but with an actual heart of a silly, goofy, dragon. (brb, im getting emotional just thinking about it. It'd be about 7 years now? Coming up? I may be bad at math. I feel old and happy and content.)

So yeh, in short it was a very much right place, right time kind of story and film. I still watch it a lot whenever I need a comfort film that's not as long as LOTR or something. I love the soundtrack and all of the things about it. Sorry, this was probably way longer than it should've been but IDK how to describe my love for this story without giving you some context.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

grabbing my brain by the shoulders and shaking it LISTEN TO ME BRAIN look at all the things you have to live for

ceramics from robin!! they are in the mail!! i really want to see them

tshirts! also in the mail! including the one that says 'i do not wish to perish today'!!

i want to reread lockwood and co and write fics about it! there's this one specific au i have in mind

literally nobody could make sense of adira's story if I was unable to keep working on it lol there's just too many notes hidden in my brain and this story's GOOD it has POTENTIAL it just needs a lot of work

same with taira! like i have a reasonably clean draft but it needs editing badly (but i'm waiting until im in a better frame of mind in general bc otherwise i will mess it up with depressed stuff)

i'm halfway through my reread of into the silent planet

i want to see ransom grow up into a full sized cat

i want to work as a fully qualified midwife!

i want to see a nicu!

i want to go back to my previous placement place for my next mid placement bc they were so good last time i loved them sm

i want to regain my friendship with the boy! whether or not that's something that will ultimately work idk but both of us want it it's just awkward rn

amira's world tour this year might include australia i don't know yet and wouldn't it be a shame if i missed seeing her live bc if she comes to anywhere in my country i am gonna do everything i can to get to a concert

the sheet music my friend gave me of the music he wrote for me, i haven't learnt to play that yet!

i have three and a half socks promised to my parents that i haven't knitted yet

i have that fidget to crochet that i bought the pattern for a while back

i want to try crocheting another bracelet in a slightly different style that might work better in terms of sitting on my wrist (the one i have is too loose bc it fits over my hand and then sits weirdly, i want to see if i can improve that)

vaniah's story is so incredibly personal to me i know hopefully without hubris that im the only person who can write that story and it would be a terrible shame if it was uncompleted

all the many many stories i have in my brain that nobody else would understand without context

gonna borrow my brother's graphics tablet! and i have that set of artworks on psalm 23 to finish

and also a bunch of other artworks i haven't finished yet

i haven't watched lockwood and co yet!

nor have i read mistborn!

someday i want to meet up with various online friends

i haven't seen my sister for over three years irl and sometime i want to go to her place of residence overseas so i can see her

gonna go see harry potter and the cursed child sometime next month with two of my brothers

i just really want to go to a concert of some kind maybe later this year or start of next year when the mso has free concerts

i want to learn that whole thing Jesus says in the later parts of john, it has some of my favourite verses in it

i need to finish learning hebrews

i need to read the queen's thief! i have wanted to for ages but i've been tending towards not reading or only comfort reads/rereads lately

i have so many pieces of music to finish writing

i have that double-knitting hat to learn how to knit and then knit

all those cds i have to listen to!

i need to sort through my photographs, a great many i haven't even LOOKED AT yet

i have to pursue diagnosis for adhd! imagine never knowing if i had adhd or not

i want to paint my nails at least once just to see what it's like

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey there! A bit late but i'm here for the ask game! (*´v｀*) I'd like to ask 1, 11, 23, 63, 78 and 88 but i know it's a lot so no pressure, please feel free to ignore any of them if you don't feel like answering it! 🫂💖

Hi!!! Not late, never late! I will put this under the cut because ~lenght~. These are all very good questions, thank you Lev 💙🪲

(What’s your biggest insecurity? Do you like who you are around people? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you ever get paranoid? What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends? What kinds of things confuse you?)

1 - What’s your biggest insecurity?

My body, which is such a sad answer, but it's true. I'm working on it. My voice - some people do not take me seriously because I have a "girly voice", especially when stressed, even though it's really not that high pitched. I had to force my Big Girl Sexy Deeper Voice out at my previous job just to get my points across. Again, sad.

Also my inability of expressing my feelings out loud. I write it a lot, but I can't genuinely remember the last time I said the words "I love you" with my own voice.

I know why I am the way I am, and I wish it didn't get to me, but this will be my cross to bear until the end of my days. I think I try to be as loudly affectionate as possible here, because I'm hoping it will make it easier for me irl.

11 - Do you like who you are around people?

Depends on the people, really. I like the way I am around my friends, even if there are parts of me I supress. I wish I was better around my sister - she deserves more than I am, and it frustrates me that I sometimes act like our parents towards her. It kills me inside.

I don't know how to answer in relation to my parents. On one hand, it's very relieving to be amongst people who understand certain parts of me without me having to justify or explain (something about being a 1st gen immigrant child lol). On the other, being at home puts me back to my 16yo mindset, when I was really angry and sad and struggling, and I hate it.

With strangers, it really depends. I am too anxious to notice haha. I just really like to be alone, I suppose. It's easier that way, at least.

23 - Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes! I am very much Christian, so I do believe in heaven/hell, and the concept of an afterlife.

I don't really talk about it much here, because I know there are so many of you who have been failed and mistreated in the name of religion (which was not how any of this was supposed to happen, and it really breaks my heart) and prefer to steer away, which I 100% understand. Also, some people get extremely weird around Christians, and assume a number of things without even talking to them, so I spare myself the unpleasantness. I hope this makes some sense!

63 - Do you ever get paranoid?

Baby, anxiety is my middle name. I get paranoid about things you could never imagine. 😎 But yeah.

Every time I hear my door bell ringing, or knocking, I always think it's the police coming to get me, even thought the most illegal thing I've done is download music?? And my family is... normal. No suspicious activity or anything, so I really don't understand why. Make it make sense.

78 - What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

There isn't much I'm not comfortable with tbh. My friends have seen me at my worse, and we know almost everything about each other. We've been friends for a very long time.

Maybe just being affectionate? I have a really hard time with that, but it gets easier around them. And they know how unhinged I am about my blorbos, so I don't really need to censor myself haha. I do a little code-switching. I speak a bit differently around my family, and with them I tend to use a more generalised/commonly accepted language, rather then my parent's countries expressions.

88 - What kinds of things confuse you?

LIFE IN GENERAL. How do you make decisons? How do you know you're in the right path?

Math. Cars. Sports. It's all Simlish to me lmao.

[selene-moonie]

my thoughts while reading shatter me

I'm two thirds of the way into Unravel Me, and unravelling, things definitely are.

It reads like a YA novel - Big surprise Selene, it's a ya novel. Yeah, it's slightly annoying though. I know in my heart and soul I am wrong for comparing it to Hunger Games but I have not read a YA dystopian novel that hits the same. The themes? The fact that the romance was just a ploy in the book that we ate up irl as well? The 2024 relevance? Come on, nothing compares.

Everyone is super touchy - I'll be the first to say as an undersocialised teen, these kinds of books set me tf up for a lot of real life experiences. Does sex always equate to love? No. Are there other ways to show love? Yes. - Ok but Selene, Juliette is touch starved. Fine. But again, why is it that all you guys seem to think about when it comes to emotional intimacy is these extreme sexual touches? - I'm at the point where the switch between Adam and Warner in Juliette's mind is happening, and I think Adam cares more about the physical aspect of it than Warner does - which I enjoy as a reader because again, lust and sexual desire does not equate to love. There are other aspects of relationships that don't include physicality.

I judged the YA teens too harshly when I was a teen - Or maybe I didn't. I didn't want to read about simpering girls whose parents died and suddenly they had the power of a thousand suns but was held back by choosing between two boys - blond and brown haired (it was not the vibe in my years). - On the flip side, I was no better than these confused girls, and many of us growing up were not either. So maybe I misjudged them. It took me years to learn how to stand on my own two feet, and that's with things like therapy and stuff. Nobody had that in those books.

I remember why I stopped reading these stories - Stress mostly. I am so distressed reading this story because every 0.2 seconds, Juliette is about to have a meltdown, every time we see Adam it's because he's melting down, Kenji is just trying to be responsible because he sees the bigger picture, and if that author kills Kenji, I will find her, but no one else ever will.

It seems disconnected from the main point - Or maybe not. Let's look into it - Juliette seems more preoccupied with her new feelings about these boys than she is about the actual fucking threat of the world collapsing. Or something to that effect. She's disconnected from the actual threat, which is the Reestablishment. "Oh the Reestablishment is bad, Warner yum yum." Stop. You just want a normal life, and you are playing at these very adult games. "People have died." Have they? She's so preoccupied with her feelings about Adam and Warner that she actively forgets that Brendan and Winston might be dead. I'm sorry? Should Castle have threatened her after she showed up fucking empty-handed after getting to know Aaron Fucking Warner? Come on.

Kenji is superior - He's the only one who deserves anything ever. He's the only one that understands the threat of what's going on that I don't even think Castle gets.

I'm still on the fence about Omega Point - We've seen it in the French Revolution and my favorite dystopian ya story ever (Hunger Games if you couldn't tell): the people who takes the position of power may be no better than the ones they killed to get the position.

I wonder if killing James will give Juliette and Adam some context - If James dies, it'll definitely be a point of no return. They'll both take the threat seriously, and they'll do their best, or worst.

[all-eyes-no-dragon]

How about we try reincarnating/isekaiing someone who isn't a salaryman or otaku NEET

Let's isekai a jock who cant believe this shit is happening, someone who doesn't know about anime or game tropes and doesn't immediately assimilate to the new world

Someone who won't just ignore their past life to the point where viewers even forget they're from another world because it just isn't relevant

Isekai has a lot of potential but they keep using the same rinse and repeat tired dry formula

Isekai people and not have others swoon and randomly fall at their feet for absolutely no reason despite the MCs having personalities as flavourful as the sand in the sandbox at the play park

Isekai more women, old people, little kids, uh college students maybe? I don't think I've ever seen a college student be isekaied before

Where's "I Just Wanted To Get My Degree In Archeology But Now The Prince From Another World Won't Stop Proposing Because He Thinks I'm A Goddess"?

Where's "Grandpa Retired But Fell Down A Hole So Now He's The Ultimate Baker In Another World"?

Where's "My Parents Hired A Fairy To Come To My Birthday Party But It Ended Up Being The Real Deal And Now I'm Stuck In Another World"?

Where's "I Scour This New World, Searching For A Way Home"?

Personally, "I Don't Have Time For An Adventure, I Need To Be Back By Dinner" sounds like a charmer to me.

Down with lookalike bland harem protagonists with no personality, dimensions and the exact same jobs (or in the case of the lack thereof)/hobbies (gaming, or however they want to spin it). Heck, these guys are basically all going to the same worlds as well so they've basically all got the same stories too. A shame.

This is why people hate isekai, which I think is a shame really, cuz I love the concept. Just,, I prefer to cherry pick the genre for gems

Side note: let isekai protags say weird shit that no one understands because

👏 cultural 👏 barrier 👏

C'mon, this is a different world, there's gotta be some basic stuff the protag might say and be met with blanket stares

Like in re zero apples are called appas

Totally small stupid and inconsequential but u look stupid af if u call it anything but an appa

Now, if u were reincarnated and had to grow from a child, I suppose u would have time to assimilate to the culture.

Ugh, but I wish they would let reincarnations stay kids longer. If their old world is gonna become obsolete, I want to see them slowly lose that. Forget people's faces, the names of their coworkers, what street they lived on. Forget the smell of their favourite flower, the taste of their favourite food. Forget what the texture of jeans feel like. Make me feel emotions.

Let's see them weird out their new parents by not being used to the New World's culture. Let's see people shrug off them accidentally talking about stuff because wowiee, kids say the darnest things

Stop having isekai kids gather 10 wives at the tender age of 9 :)

I like the MC of the webcomic "The Beginning After The End" 's stance on the dubious subject of having romantic relationships as a reincarnator (or at least, I like it so far. I'm mid 100s into the comic so idk if they about to switch up)

Basically the MC died as an adult so he sees all the kids "his age" as children and he even said a line about how he would be a criminal if he got romantic with one of the girls who like him 🤣

I guess it's up to self perception? Like, this body is 13 but my brain is 45. Which am I actually, then?

Let reincarnators be confused about this as well, cuz even irl people debate this a whole lot (cuz it's just one of those "well, technically" things. I think the fact that we even have to go "technically" to excuse it is a bit of an ouch tho)

I'm open to other views and counter arguments on any of the things I've just said, tbh. These are just some things I think are missed opportunities. Like, people will keep watching and watching it even if it's the same thing (why do you think there's so many "Peter Parker's Field Trip To Stark Industries" fics? People will continually consume the same thing slightly tweaked if they like the premise enough). I just think changes to how we approach isekai might bring in some new viewership and increased positive opinions on the genre

Also, the comically long titles are a fun thing but I know some people abhor them. They want titles that are creative and don't basically just summarise the show's premise. Because, with a title like that, it shows a lack of creativity and ingenuity. Not to say that it needs to be toned down all the way, just reduced to keywords.

"Undead Unluck"

"Spy x Family"

"Dragon Ball"

"First Night With The Duke"

"Little Shop Of Horrors"

"Villain To Kill"

"Pride & Prejudice"

"Cirque Du Freak"

"Mirror Image"

(Yes, I did just write down the names of random things I like. 3 animes, 3 books, 2 webcomics and a,, movie/play(?) I watched it as a play, anyways. okay, the 3animes is kind of a lie, I'm impatiently waiting for undead unluck to come out as an anime. ive never consumed any content for it but the trailer)

These titles give you a vague idea of important symbols/things in the narrative, no? But you don't know exactly was going to happen.

But I'm only speaking for some people, I find the long titles to be funny and a bit intriguing. Of course, I wouldn't mind some good old fashioned original names being brainstormed. These thoughtlessly long titles allow all these different producers to just pump out what is, at its core, basically the same ideas, just switched up a bit so the homework doesn't look copied