#maybe i WILL get my honors diploma!

[hatchetings]

girl what do you mean my german classes are gonna be taken as college credit 😇

[un-pearable]

genuinely so so mad this astronomy class is letting me down this dude is genuinely a shit teacher and has chronic “too little reading too many assignments” brain. but i can’t drop or i won’t get my honor cert at grad. hell of my own making

[b0r3dtod3ath]

Hi,

Would you be open to write about Oscar and his childhood friend, now scientists. just them supporting each other during their own careers. Being so damm proud and all the time yapping about the otheres archivements Showing up at diffrent events for each other, like her coming to a race, and him showing up at a conference, where she's presenting her research.

Thanks a lot!

♡ navigation / request info / f1 masterlist

♡ warnings: none

♡ an: i messed up and replied to a different request with this T_T. so this is basically a repost. nonetheless, thank you for requesting and sorry for the mess-up.

Oscar couldn’t remember a time when you weren't around. From the early days at your father’s karting track, where you would sit on the bleachers with a juice box and your homework, to the present - F1 tracks, where your face was one of the first he searched for in the crowd.

Your friendship started when your fathers introduced you to each other. You were both six and despite most kids this age being disgusted by the opposite gender you two quickly became close. When you were kids people often mistook you as siblings - always next to each other, teasing and giggling but also supporting each other. 

When Oscar went to boarding school a lot changed. You went from seeing each other everyday to seeing each other twice a year. Nonetheless, not seeing each other very often and the mix of puberty hormones didn’t take a toll on your relationship. While Oscar was in Europe, racing in junior motorsport series, you were in Australia pursuing your academic dream. 

You two reunited not long after turning twenty. Oscar just got his seat in Formula one and you were on your way to receive your diploma. Even with your busy schedules you tried to spend as much time together as possible. You were a regular in the paddock and everyone in Mclaren’s garage knew you. 

The crowd was loud as Oscar climbed out of his car and hugged his team. His eyes searched the crowd until they landed on you - his biggest supporter. He jogged over and pulled you into a tight hug. You kissed his cheek and hugged him close “Oscar, you did it! You were amazing. I’m so proud of you” you shouted over the noise. His first Formula one win. “Did you see what I did on the first corner?” he said, his eyes full of adrenaline. “Did I see? Dude, I was clutching the seat so hard I might’ve bruised my hand. I thought Carlos would push you off the track!���. You laughed, and he noticed the way your eyes shone with genuine pride. For a moment, he forgot about the cameras, the media - everything except that you were there, seeing him at his best. “Now go get weighted so we can celebrate!”. 

Later that evening a group sat at a table at the back of a busy restaurant. Oscar was surrounded by many people, his teammate, boss, engineers and friends. But most importantly you were sitting next to him. 

You raised your glass, he rolled his eyes knowing exactly what you were going to do. “To the guy who went from karting on Tuesdays to taking wins on Sundays”. He blushed slightly from embarrassment, maybe from the alcohol . “To the girl who always believed I’d get there - even when I didn’t” he said quietly before bumping your glass with his. 

A few months later, it was Oscar’s turn to sit in the front row, this time at a prestigious science conference. He was out of place among the suits and academics, but he didn’t care. He’d been waiting to see you shine, finally seeing all those years of hard work in action.

The room was filled with applause as you entered the stage after being introduced by the host. “Hello, thank you everyone” you said in a confident yet still a bit shaky voice. You glanced at Oscar as he gave you a big thumbs up and a huger smile. “So before I start, I can’t express how honored I am to be standing here. This has been my dream for the past eight years. I want to thank everyone here, for supporting, inspiring and helping me through this”. 

Throughout the presentation your eyes kept finding their way back to Oscar. Whenever you would get a bit too overwhelmed, the sight of him calmed your nerves. After the presentation Oscar gave you space as a flood of people gathered around you, eager to discuss your theories. You answered questions from a mix of young researchers, curious students, and seasoned scientists who all seemed genuinely intrigued by your work. 

You were talking with an elderly lady, a woman that has been your huge inspiration. “Thank you. It’s… honestly, I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for people like you. Your work really inspired me.” You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you spoke, starstruck and a little shaky. She asked you a few questions and invited you to another convention. 

The woman tilted her head, glancing subtly in Oscar’s direction, who was leaning against the wall. “And, if I may say, it seems that someone else is equally inspired by you”. You blinked, following her gaze to where Oscar stood. He hadn’t noticed you looking, caught up in watching you in your element, a proud smile playing on his lips. You could see how much this meant to him - that he genuinely admired you, not just as his friend.

“Oh him, that’s just my best friend” you replied giggling a little. “Hold on to him,” the lady said gently, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze. “It’s rare to find someone who believes in us as much as we believe in them” she paused for a moment glancing back at him “and stop by for a visit in my home in Uk, both of you”. 

Before you could respond the lady disappeared in the crowd. “Hey,” Oscar said, his voice soft as he reached your side. “How are you holding up?”.

“I’m good,” you replied, voice brightening as soon as he was close. “Still a bit… overwhelmed, but good. Did you, um, survive the science talk?”. He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think I caught about 30% of it, which for me is a win. But I caught all the important stuff - like you absolutely crushing it up there”. Your heart gave a little flutter, his voice hitting you harder than you’d expected. “Thanks, Oscar. It… it really helped having you here”. He looked down at you, his expression softening. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Seeing you up there… I’m just so proud of you, you know?”.

You let out a deep breath, feeling some of the tension melt away as you watched the lady. “I can’t believe she was here,” you whispered, still awestruck, “She’s, like, my hero”. Oscar chuckled, nudging your shoulder. “I get it, really. I feel the same way every time you’re at a race. Just… ridiculously lucky to have you on my side”. 

You smiled up at him, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “I’m the lucky one, Oscar. Thank you for being here. For everything, really.”

He didn’t answer right away, just watched you, his gaze steady and warm. “I’ll always be here”. 

… a few months later … 

“It’s a nice place,” Oscar said, parking his car. As you two walked up to the ivy-covered cottage hand-in-hand, he gave your fingers a squeeze, a familiar sparkle in his eye. “Think she’s going to guess right away?” he whispered, as if afraid to break the quiet charm of the place. You nudged him, smiling. “Of course, she noticed something between us before we even did”. He chuckled softly. “Guess that’s fair”. 

Before you could knock, the door swung open, revealing an old lady with a warm, welcoming smile. “There you are! I was beginning to think you’d gotten lost”. You and Oscar exchanged a sheepish look before following her inside.

Her home was cozy and filled with books, artifacts, and stacks of research papers - a testament to her lifelong dedication to science. She led you to a sitting room where a tea set and a tray of scones were waiting.

“So,” she began, settling herself comfortably into an armchair and pouring each of you a cup, “Tell me, how have the two of you been?”. “We’ve been great,” you began, accepting the delicate teacup she handed you. “It’s been busy, as usual, but… a good kind of busy”. The lady nodded,  “I imagine you’ve been wrapped up in your research, my dear. And you, young man - what line of work are you in?”. 

Oscar glanced at you, suppressing a grin. “I’m, uh… I’m a racing driver”. Her brows lifted in pleasant surprise. “Racing? Goodness, that’s a bit different from the world of science, isn’t it?”. He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Just a bit. I race in Formula One, actually”. 

Her eyes widened, a mixture of fascination and amusement flashing across her face. “Formula One! How thrilling. I’ve read about it - those cars going at breathtaking speeds. I can’t say I know much about it, but I can imagine that must be… well, exhausting.”. Oscar nodded, his voice softening as he replied, “It is, it’s intense, but it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. It’s taken me all over the world and I’m lucky enough to have had this one,” he said, glancing at you, “supporting me every step of the way”.

“And actually… there’s something else we wanted to tell you”.  Her  smile widened knowingly, and she leaned in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Oh? Do tell,” her voice with a hint of irony. 

Oscar’s cheeks colored just slightly, but he held your hand firmly. “Well… we’re together. As in, officially”. She clasped her hands together, her expression delighted. “Oh, how wonderful! I could tell there was something between you two from the moment I saw you at the conference. And now you’ve finally seen it yourselves, too”. 

You both laughed. It was true, if it hadn’t been for her perceptive nudge, perhaps you would have taken even longer to realize what everyone else seemed to see so clearly. “Thank you,” you said, smiling. “You were right, back at the conference. He’s been by my side for as long as I can remember”. 

“Likewise,” Oscar added, his voice gentle. “She’s my biggest supporter. My constant”.

“Hold onto that. Life has a way of throwing surprises our way, but the strength you two share will see you through anything.”

The three of you sat for hours, talking about life, love, and work. The evening felt timeless as laughter and stories filled the air, connecting the three of you in a way that felt like family. When it was finally time to leave, she walked you both to the door, wrapping you in a heartfelt embrace.

“Promise me you’ll visit again soon,” she said, her voice filled with affection. “And don’t forget, no matter where life takes you, you’ll always have a place here”. 

“We promise,” Oscar said, squeezing her hand. “Thank you”.

As you and Oscar walked back under the starry sky, he slipped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “So… we’re officially a ‘we’ now, huh?” you asked.

He laughed as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “Looks like it. Think you can handle it?”.

You grinned feeling his lips on your forehead. “I think I can. As long as I’ve got you beside me”.

November 4, 2024

[xoxoluka]

hey! can i put in a request about long distance friends (maybe theres a lil summin going on but who knows?) reader and schlatt?

just have an idea of reader living in brighton or something and schlatt comes to visit...

sorry for the wait anon, pls enjoy!

jschlatt x reader

summary: schlatt has a crush on you, but you live in an entirely different country. he’ll find a way to make it work.

warnings: uhhhh

a/n: i got this request in a group of other notifications while i was at prom, i almost didn’t notice it :p also idk how school works in the uk sooo lmao

"listen, jay, we can meet up as soon as this semester ends, alright?" you say, trying to compromise with him. "as soon as I get back, I'll hop on a flight to Austin."

It's not like you wanted to put such a big wedge between the two of you, but you had gotten such a big offer from University of Brighton (full ride, you couldn't turn that down) towards your Art and Design degree, that there was absolutely no way you were going anywhere in the US. You lived in New York originally, you and Schlatt grew up together. It was weird being so far away from him.

"you can't just come now? take a week off or something?" he groaned.

"you know I can't," you sigh, sitting down on the bed in your dorm. "it's may. i'll be there in a few weeks, the term isn't much longer."

it was always odd having this conversation with him. something never felt right. you understood wanting to see him as a friend, but you always wanted to see him more than that. you chalked it up to being so close, but you knew in some small part of your mind that it wasn't the reason.

"alright, fine. but you're coming straight here when you're done."

"deal."

~

schlatt nearly lost an arm and a fucking leg trying to get here. first, the airport in Texas wasn't accepting his passport, then there was an issue with his luggage, and he almost missed his flight. and if that wasn't enough, he couldn't find the correct exit in the airport in Brighton, and there were no taxis available, making him stand there and wait for 45 minutes. thankfully, you had told him the time of your graduation in a phone call a few nights ago when you were complaining about how late it was.

he finally made it to the college after his many issues, and was just in time to watch you walk the stage.

"Y/N L/N, graduating with honors and a bachelor's degree in Art and Design." The crowd clapped as you stepped up on stage, from your seat down on the floor, taking the diploma and shaking the hands of the many people on stage. on your way back down, you think you pot a familiar face, but psych yourself out of the thoughts before you think about it too hard.

the ceremony ends a while after, and the crowd and graduates are dismissed. you planned on just going back to your dorm to pack, taking your cap off and holding it and your diploma under your arm as you walk, staring down at your phone.

"leaving without me?" you hear from behind you, making you perk up and whip around, seeing your favorite person standing behind you.

"oh my god!" you exclaim, jumping into his arms excitedly. tears of joy brim your eyes, laughing as he hugged you back.

you stayed like that for a good minute or so before he put you down and you separated.

"when did you get here?" you ask through laughs, wiping your eyes.

"just a while ago, made it right on time." he answers.

"jesus christ, i love you." you say before even realizing your mistake, and it took you a moment to register his silence.

you look up at him once you realized, a look of terror and guilt on your face. he looks serious, making you question if you had just blown it all. you hadn't even planned on telling him at all.

thankfully, he breaks and laughs, pulling you into a hug again. "love you too, toots."

you let out a breath of relief and laugh, holding him as tight as you can. "you came at the perfect time, I need someone to help me pack."

schlatt playfully groans in response to that, but looks down at you. "i guess i'll help you."

a/n: i crave the schlanket can someone buy me one

© property of xoxoluka. do not repost.

[gotham-daydreams]

Honestly, if I was reader I would weaponize the fact they literally know next to nothing about me. Hear me out

Bruce and fam show up and are like: it's so irresponsible for you to just disappear and not tell anyone, did you drop out of school just to get away

Me, knowing they never paid attention anyways: no one wanted to talk that night so I left a note. And no I didn't drop out, I graduated with honors. I went to/am going to college for___ degree. I took my diplomas with me because it's MY accomplishment

Or

Bruce letting his high tech medical machine do a series of tests because he's lost it and wants to know every detail down to your white cell count: you've had a significant damage to your pelvis in recent months

Me : oh yeah, My husband is going through a phase

Bruce : you're married???

Me : was it my ring or extraordinarily good sex life that gave it away??

Like seriously, I'd not pull any punches when it comes to hurting them back for what they did to me. Such as mentioning lasting injuries or traumatic events that happened while they were pretending I didn't exist. If anything I'd bring it up just to hammer in the fact that I.don't.need.them. And let them all have mental breakdowns. It gives me joy. And the best part is, they really wouldn't know what's fact or fiction. Let them go hunting for a husband that doesn't exist. Send them on wild goose chases for anything and everything they don't know.

Again, I love all of these spite posts and y'all are a RIOT and I love y'all for that, oh my god.

Icing on the cake? Of course the reader has gotten hurt in the past. They've overworked each and every last atom in their bodies just to have an inch of a connect with the Batfam, but still got nothing for their efforts. Which may or may not be mentioned in part 3 when stuff starts tumbling down even more.

Honestly, why not just make shit like that worse? How are they going to know?

You broke your wrist? Say it was your arm.

An ankle? Say it was both your legs and you were maybe even bedridden for a while. Or just on crutches (which may or may not be canon).

Hell, with the whole husband thing — why not lowkey turn it into a whole ass drama for the hell of it? You've had pervious partners in the past, and honestly some of them were kind of shit but there was this one person who you're actually kind of chill with. Maybe you still have a drink with them every now and again. You're married but have already been through your first divorce and have maybe been thinking of having children, or maybe you already do! (Which, of course, they can be pets but how is the Batfam going to know that right away?)

Basically, go off. They honestly deserve it, and especially because after years they still don't know the smallest thing about the reader. Well- besides that they're into music, and even then that's only about half of them? I believe?

The only one that would see through your bs is Alfred but he isn't going to say anything. Not without being sassy himself and heavily sarcastic. Even if he'll only play along for so long, your the favorite so it's okay. Besides it wouldn't be the first mind games he's played.

It may take everyone a little longer, but you can guess why. Hell, maybe some lies they'll never even find out about, since some of the best lies are told with a little bit of truth to them.

Regardless, it all spunds very fun ♡♡

[tedious-waffle]

I know its already been done but I’ve got Quibbles with others math so, imma put my Tommy Kinard Age calculations out there:

So, one thing I’ve seen is people using the Modern service requirements for the army “high school to flight school” program.

The minimum service comitment was changed 6 to 10 years only in 2020, so we can bring that down to 6 years for tommy.

With parental approval and either high school diploma or a GED, you Can enlist and join the “high school to flight school” program as early as 17 years old (and i bet tommy’s shitty dad would totally approve lmao) Soo theoretically if we give tommy the absolute Fastest possible route:

He joins at 17 and goes for the army’s “high school to flight school” program: so has 6 months of basic training + at minimum 1.5 years of flight school and warrant officer training.

So he’s at minimum 19.

Then I’m of two minds:

1) If he serves the full 6 years, he’d be 25.

2) There is a possibility thats he is even younger if he didnt serve the total of his 6 years if he was discharged.

Could be cause of injury or other reasons. Since he would be serving prior to 2011, we could even assume he got discharged for “Homosexual Conduct” under DADT lol. He could have gotten an Honorable Discharge, a General Discharge, or an Other Than Honorable (these were Technically Possible to get with a DADT violation, and wouldnt cause as much trouble with the LAFD like a Dishonorable Discharge would). If were really speed running him through it we could then estimate that he was only 19, right after flight school, and maybe Just started service before his discharge.

Either way, either he doesn’t re-up or gets discharged, lets say he then IMMEDIATELY decides to join the LAFD. Assuming he gets accepted right away, the academy in 6 months of training, and then hes got a minimum of 1 year as a probationary firefighter. So minimum +1.5 years.

So hes either 26.5 if be served his 6, or minimum 20.5 if he was discharged earlier.

If we assume he has Just finished he probation when Chim joins in 2005, that means that in 2024, 19 year later, Tommy is at the at between 39.5-45.5

So being like literally the MOST generous: having him enlist at 17, And even with the minimum 6year service hes 45. And even having him discharged as soon as possible after finishing flight school at 19, he’s still Almost 40 at minimum.

And all of thats is assuming like no gaps: that he joins the military as soon as possible, that he wasn’t at the 118/ in the LAFD for linger before Chim joined, that he didn’t serve More than his initial contract, that that contract was actually the absolute minimum of 6years and not more, and that he didnt re-up for more that one tour (and i mean based on the implication of him having a house with room for a car lift and muay thai up in LA, like… he would make a lot more money the longer he served lol.

So anyway with 45 being the minimum if he wasnt discharged, its really not that hard to very reasonably get him up to his 50s

[bellyprincess]

At your high school graduation, you are wadeling across the stage, your gown being stretchs to its limits by our past-term twins in your belly. Just as you get your diploma your water breaks and you signal to me "Go time!" 10 months to the day later, we're back at the hospital to welcome baby #3 into the world. By now, though, even though you're not even 30 yet, we've done this so regular that the head midwife was your maid-of-honor, we're on first-name basis with all the others, the hospitals brand new maternity ward's named after us, and as we walk trough it doors once again for yet another birth, everyone smiles at and greets us heartwarmingly and compliment us for you sporting our biggest bump....yet...

Growing babies has been my full time job since graduating and I'd say I'm doing a stellar job at it! Our whole family is enough to start a football team, but after I deliver this brood we might be able to say two football teams. The midwife and nurses are always excited (and maybe a little horny) to see just how many babies are packed into my womb each time we wheel through the delivery doors. Even though it seems like this time quite a few of them are sporting their own baby bumps! The head midwife(my best friend now) has her own swollen middle that she's delivering our babies over, but let's just hope her water doesn't break too. 🤭

[agirlunfilteredsblog]

A GUIDE ON HOW TO STUDY EFFICIENTLY

Hey girls!! I know a lot of us are on break, whether that be in high school, college or university, so I figured I could maybe show you guys some tips and tricks that have helped me throughout my studies…

A little bit about my educational background:

-In high school, I was part of an IB school (the girls that know the struggle, know the struggle). If you don’t know what that is, it’s essentially a program designed to help students get a better understanding of the world and how it works. We basically do the regular high school program + the IB one, so it’s extra workload, but we do get an additional diploma at the end of our studies!

-I am now in college, studying psychology and I was recently invited to join the honors roll for my next semester (super excited about that!!). I absolutely love it and i’ve also gotten the opportunity to study other subjects such as anthropology, world history, art history, etc.

1. LEARNING WHAT TO PRIORITIZE

My biggest weakness throughout my first semester of college was balancing my workload and my social activities. Often times, I would either only do school work for weeks and not go out or simply go out until very late on school nights and get nothing done. Both scenarios are just as negative. I would be drained on the inside, and simply become exhausted by minimal activities. What helped me personally was establishing a clear schedule, which I know isn’t ideal for everyone as we all have differing schedules, but trust me, having that base helps A LOT.

2. SETTING REMINDERS TO STUDY

I dont know if this was just me, but in high school, I would constantly fall asleep and take naps after school. This would result in me totally forgetting I had to study when I woke up… Setting up reminders on my phone helped me remember what I had to do. I also included little motivational messages to keep me inspired to work.

3. KNOWING WHEN TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN

Girls, I know how hard it is sometimes to give yourself grace and put your study books down, especially when there’s a big test coming up. However, it has been proven that over reading or over studying actually has negative effects on your learning/memory. Stressing yourself out will do nothing but put you in a negative state, which is not what you want going into that exam. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, put the book down for 15 minutes and go do something that puts you at peace. Me personally, I make myself a cup of peppermint tea and put on my favorite show.

4. HAVING A STUDY METHOD THAT WORKS FOR YOU

There are many different types of study methods, so I’m not gonna tell you which one you should do as we are all different, but finding the one that works for you does ALL the difference. The way I study is very simple, I establish a game plan (I list everything I want to complete) and I give myself a time frame to complete it. The time frames are always very realistic for me, so I never have to stress about not having enough time. For each “task” I complete, I allow myself a 15-20 minute break and I study for no more than 3 hours at a time.

5. NEVER PUT STUDYING BEHIND

I am such a procrastinator, but I had to learn very quickly, especially in college, that this was not possible. The work load is so much more charged and I simply cannot get away with studying last minute. If you’re in high school, start implementing healthy study habits now, so that once you reach college, you’re already used to studying the right way (learn from me hahaha)!

I am 100% sure that there are more I’m forgetting, but these are the main ones I implement in order to keep a high average and a healthy school/social life :) I know these are very basic and you’ve probably heard of them before but I still think it’s important we talk about them to remind ourselves on what to do! If you would like more of this type of content please let me know!! My next posts will be much more light though dont worry, we are still on winter break after all ;))

so much love,

a girl unfiltered 💋

[small-sinclair]

But I Love Ya

Again, @bluecoolr’s gave me this idea based off this gut killing comic and this one too. I think it’s neat and is sad but it’s nice :3

This is a gift to @fluffy-little-demon and @ahmnom.

Tw: past trauma, mention of physical abuse, mentioned of self-harm, mention of emotional abuse

This story takes place two years into the killings.

Hope y'all enjoy!

It's been two years, 3 months, 12 days since Trudy died, but Bo still felt her looking at him front his bedroom doorway, her eyes unforgiving and solid. He felt her gazing at him as if he was the mistake she made, an unsolved wax structure that needed to be washed out and burned, destroyed to nothing but liquid heat to be used later for something better and different.

Deep down, Bo wanted her eyes to go away, to un-feel the nails over his skin like claws over a rock, sharpening and ready to kill. He wanted nothing more than to diver under his covers and hide from his mother's gaze, but even under the covers Bo wasn't safe. He excepted that he wouldn't be sleeping tonight, and he's okay with it? Is he really?

Bo turned to his side and turned on the lamp on his nightstand. He sits up and wiped the sweat from his face. The heatwave will never lift until he's down with his mother's work. She told him that she'll allow him to sleep peacefully once it's all completed. It's been two years of killing, fighting, destroying, and creating. The amount of blood on his hands could drown a single person if they didn't know how to swim. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his wrist. The scars itch so bad that he wants to run a knife over them just to stop the stings and aches of the past. Maybe that'll help him sleep?

It's not your fault, I supposed, that I can't love you, his mother's voice echoed through his head. It's just hard to love you, and I've tried everything that I could.

"I love you, Mama," BO whispers to himself as he ran his fingers over the fabric of the bed, feeling the sheets and its weight. "I truly do love ya."

You're wasting my time and your father's time, Beauregard! His mother laughed like she did the first time he told her he loved her and his father. Now, git! The more interesting twin is about to do his piano residal. Don't want you to fuss or nothin' when guest are here. Take Lester to your room and wait until it's over!

The memory ended with a slap across the face and Lester crying when it happened. his mother never cared for Lester, and it hurts Bo sometimes when he's reminded with the lack of baby pictures of Lester.

On the nightstand, he takes the picture of him and his brothers against the lamp and held it between his fingers. It was taken on his Polaroid by a friend. All of them were smiling as the twins stood either side of their little brother, who was grinning ear-to-ear with a college diploma in hand from the state college. He was the only one of the brothers to get some type of higher education. Even though his little brother never showed it, he was pretty fucking smart when it came to geology and environment. he works for the state picking up and recording roadkill--

Why didn't you or Vincent go? Why didn't Vincent try?

His mother hated that Lester proved her wrong with getting a degree, and she hated it more when he cut her out of his life. Bo didn't blame her, but he knew that he couldn't do that. He wasn't strong enough to do that until she died, until the day he killed her himself. Hands around her throat, chocking out the life he never wanted. He didn't want to hear her voice or see her eyes. He didn't want to feel her hand slapping across his face or tying him down as his father beats him with a leather belt or a twitch. He didn't want to hear her breath or say anything to him...

So does he still owe her everything? Why does he do this for her? Destroy people and lives just to make her dream come true? Maybe it was the catholic inside him to honor thy parents and wishes, but he didn't want to admit it. If he did, he would end up losing to her and she would win again. Come to think of it, his knees did hurt from begging his mother to love him, to hold him, to make him feel like he belong to a world where sin is the truth and blessings are a lie.

"But I love you," he murmurs to himself as lowered the photo on the bed. "I've always loved ya."

He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. he allowed his mothers nails rack over his skin and cut him open like a fish. He let the past pains of hits and tears go after him, over and over again until he was nothing. It's what he deserves, right? He was to take the pain or his twin would get the brunt of it. Poor Vincent. He'll never truly know what an iron hot pan felt against his back. Still to this day, he doesn't tell Vincent how his back go so burned and scared. How could he?

He takes a deep breath in, tasting the dust and honeydew of the south, and let out a long, hallowed breath filled with sadness and skill. When he looks up, all he could see was himself looking back at him, and the shadow of his mother standing in his other half. He'll always be the other half of someone, his brother, his mother, father-- he'll never be whole until he finishes what his mother started.

If he was more like Vincent, looked like and creative like him, would his mother love him the same?

I can only love one child, Bo. Sadly, you'll never know love.

The ciggarette burns on the back of his shoulders ached and screamed to let open. As much as he would love to take his knife and carved out his mother's blood, what would he be lift with? His father? Vincent and Lester? Everything he does is for his family. When will he be able to do something for himself for a change?

He just wanted to be free from her claw-like nails. He wanted to be gone from her gaze from above, but how could he when she's laying in a casket down the road? Why couldn't he bury her and take his brothers somewhere else where they could breath and be free? Why could he do that?

Becasue he's stuck here. He will never be forgiven until his brothers are, too. They've done nothing wrong--

It's becasue you are a Sinclair, boy, his father answered, his stomach aching from an unseen punch. We have the word 'sin' in the first part! You are born in to it and you will die to it! Now, get on those fucking knees and beg!

He placed the picture to the side and laid back down, hands folded over his chest. "But I love ya, Mama," he whispers again. "I love ya and Pa and my brothers."

That's nice and all, but who would love you back? It's not me, I'll tell you that for free!

He wanted to turn out the lights and sleep, but the heat of the marsh and the sins on his skin will never allow him to rest. He will never allow himself to rest until his mother's job is finish. If he can't be forgiven, then he'll work hard enough to make sure Vincent and Lester are! He will not have his brothers fall down with him, he can't allow that!

Do you think your brothers love you, Bo? Ha! they only love you because you are their brother! Shape up and help me Lester! He won't sit still, so help me get him in your old chair--

he shot out of bed as he heard the straps tying onto his skin like cold chains. Bo held his chest, controlling his breathing, as he looked at his empty bed. It's only him and the night, the darkness of the room filling his thoughts as the demons came out to play. The painful memory of his little brother being restrained and taped to his bed--

Lester. Have to make sure Lester isn't held down. He can't be held down! He never would allow it! Bo will set this world on fire if he ever saw Lester tied down again.

He takes his green plaid and puts it on as he heads out of his room. He wonders down the hall past his mother's bedroom and stops at the end, standing in front of Lester's closed door. Gently, he nudges the door open and tip-toes in. His baby brother was curled up in his blankets in his Scooby-Doo boxers and cuddling a pillow-shaped ladybug. He was breathing softly, his chest calm as it rises and falls without a care.

Silently, he crept over to his brother's bed and kneels next to him. Gingerly, his fingers wrap around Lester's wrist and pulled forward. Relief washed over him like a waterfall when he found that he wasn't restrained or tied. Only light scars of the past showed. Goodness, his thoughts were getting to the best of him tonight. He leaned down and kissed his brother's wrist before standing up. At least his baby brother is safe--

"...Bo?" A tired voice escaped as he stood next to the door. "Bo, 's 'at ya?" Lester asked, sitting up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Wha' are ya doin'?" He yawned as sleepiness started to take over.

Bo looked back at his brother and shook his head. "Nothin'. Go back ta' sleep, Lessy."

"Had a nightmare?" He asked, his eyes going into focus. "'S okay if ya did." He scoots over and patted the empty side. "Wanan sleep wit' me?"

Bo's brows lifted in sadness. He felt like he was a child again. Back when they were kids, Bo and Vincent always went to Lester if they had a bad dream. For some reason, he was good at keeping the demons and monsters at bay and gone until the sun came up.

Bo bit his bottom lip nervously. "If ya don't mind."

"Never had, Bo," Lester answered, laying back down, patting the bed next to him. "Com' an' sleep."

Bo came back to his brother's side and laid in the bed. Like he did before, he pulled his brother close to his chest and closed his eyes. He does love his brothers, and his brothers love him.

But his mama never will.

"Love ya," Lester murmurs, cuddling into his brother's side.

Bo doesn't say it back, but he wishes he could.

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[candlemouse]

Alyssa Walks Alone

Alyssa visits Kendra’s grave on her high school graduation day, trying to get answers to her many questions.

653 words

Alyssa was at the cemetery again. Though, “again” implies the last time was recently, and that wasn’t true. It worried her parents too much to go too often, but this was a special occasion.

Dirt smudged her expensive graduation robes, but she didn’t want to save them by standing. She wanted to sit, to be closer to Kendra, and so she did, 75 dollar one-time clothes be damned.

It was supposed to be their day.

So many things were supposed to be their day. Birthdays, first days of schools, sleepovers, homecomings, proms—so many things were supposed to be with Kendra.

Whenever Alyssa arrived at such milestones without her, she felt so terribly alone. Despite new friends and old family members, there was always something missing. Someone missing.

Kendra.

It never got easier. People lied. It only got easier to forget. Alyssa could go days without thinking of Kendra, but when she remembered, it felt the exact same. The exact same hot tears, cold hands, tight lungs—it was always the same.

Well, except for today. Because today was worse.

Graduation. High school graduation!

Alyssa had put in 13 years to get her diploma this morning and to get to say “I did it.”

She had done fine throughout high school, alone, but if Kendra had been there, Kendra would have been able to blow them all out of the water. Alyssa knew it. She would have been able to say—that’s my friend, that smartie with the honors regalia.

She would have smiled at Alyssa as she walked across the stage and Alyssa would have done the same. They would have probably had a joint graduation party, and a big lunch with big flowers and big checks from relatives.

It would have been great.

Alyssa brushed away some of the dirt on the grave stone to read “Kendra Marie Sorenson.”

A memory came up and Alyssa snorted. Kendra had been so embarrassed of her middle name; she had thought it was way too common. Alyssa always countered that at least it was her middle name, because Alyssa shared her first name with, like, a million other girls at their school. Kendra buried her face in her pillow but turned her face slightly to say that she thought Alyssa was the best name anyone could have. The name was so…her. Alyssa would have told her that Marie literally sounded like the name a fairy would have, so even if Kendra maintained that Alyssa won the human name lottery then Kendra would have still bested the supernatural lottery.

The laughter turned to tears fairly quickly and Alyssa buried her face in her hands.

If they had had more years, maybe Alyssa could have found out if Kendra had also harbored the cute little caterpillars that bloomed into butterflies whenever Alyssa caught Kendra looking at her. Maybe then she could’ve known.

How will she ever get over it without knowing?

How will she ever meet anyone else and not wish it was just Kendra? That didn’t seem like a possiblility.

How was Alyssa ever going to move away for college when Kendra would always be right here, in Rochester?

How would she ever go somewhere where she couldn’t run to come visit Kendra when her day got rough or some customer yelled at her or Emma was causing drama again or when the loneliness and guilt and grief got so heavy Alyssa felt like she was the one with six feet of compressed dirt sitting on her chest?

How? There was no answer except that this fucking sucked. There were never any answers.

Why did Kendra have to go? Why did she have to die? Why didn’t they ever get to say goodbye?

Why wasn’t Kendra right here, right now?

Why wasn’t Kendra wiping away her tears and hugging her till her bones were crushed?

Why couldn’t it have been Alyssa?

Why, God?

Why?

Click this link to drop a kudos on ao3 to show your appreciation if you read please! <3

[lunarubra]

This is me blabbing away and trying to make sense of this crazy moment that's my life... Kind of like a PSA, without a real structure.

(Let's start with an apology, this was supposed to be short, just a couple of lines long, asking for some forgiveness for being so absent, and it turned into a small vent about my crazy life. Synthesis has never been one of my strongest features, apparently.)

Life has been crazy lately. April, May, and June are always hectic months for a teacher, and this year looks like it's going to be even worse. Right now, I'm juggling a full teaching post, a university research, a social life with a partner, a new kitten bringing me everyday dead lizards (she is a serial killer in disguise), and being selected as an internal commissioner for the high school diploma this year. And no, the last one is not an honor; it's more like a punishment for younger professors who don't have the authority to say no to older colleagues, plus a ton of paperwork and two more months of work while everyone else is on holiday. Yuppie for me. But joking aside, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm happy to teach, and compared to a lot of other jobs out there, I feel privileged to do what I'm doing. I love my kiddos, and even though most of the time they behave like dunderheads, teaching supports my creativity and gives me so many insights into my life.

But let's get to the point of all this. I am feeling slightly guilty for not being as active here as I should be and for not having enough mental energy and time to dedicate myself to writing more. To my lovely mutuals, I'm in awe of all that you're posting right now. I apologize for not replying and commenting on your amazing content as much as I would like. I just wanted to say, it's not because I'm disappearing; I'm just really busy, and I can't wait for the moment when I'll feel more chilled and can treat myself to all your new chapters, moodboards, and all the amazing content you're creating. I know I am being a small silent weight in your tag list, so thank you for still including me <3

About "Shadow of the Sea," I have a chapter ready and one WIP of the following one. I want to post the one that's ready sometime in the next week, but after that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next one. So Jiyan and Cillian are taking a small break. I'm going to continue the story; this is not a goodbye. I have many ideas and plans for those two idiots; I'm just waiting for some writing energy and time in my schedule.

And yeah, I understand if you're thinking, "Are you aware that your blog and story are read by less than 10 people and no one really gives a damn?" Yes, I am aware, and this post is mostly for me, writing it down it helps me a lot, giving some sort of clarity. However, I've had the chance to meet amazing creators since I got busy on Tumblr again a couple of months ago. People who supported me and helped me, so this is more me trying to explain why my support isn't at its 100% right now and trying to excuse myself since I feel like a horrible mutual right now.

Ah, one last thing, maybe the only thing that will pop up on my blog are some "Slow Horses" GIFs. Thanks to Alex, @cillmequick, Jackson Lamb, and River Cartwright have become my new obsession, and creating GIFs is one of the few things that calm me after a busy hectic day and make me use some of that creative energy left.

I think that's it. Please still free to write me and contact me about my fic, blog, shenanigans; I will try to reply as soon as possible. Sending you all a big hug if you arrive till the end of this long long lengthy text xD

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hi I just had a question. So basically I live in a south Asian country and need to study law because of unavoidable circumstances. But I've always wanted to do something in public health in a foreign country. Or atleast, I've always wanted to study in a foreign country in general. But if I study law here then that has no value in any foreign country.

So my question is, can I still apply to do honors and masters in another country on a different subject after I finish my LLM? Or is it possible for me to finish my law degree then go off to do lots of diploma courses on subjects that support public health like psychology, microbiology or sociology and economics in a foreign country and get a job based on those subjects?

Basically I'm asking if these alternatives are possible. If you don't know the answer maybe you could pls ask someone you know who might know? I'm really struggling with this...

Hiya~!

My short answer would be:

Yes. It's possible

I'm myself currently an international student; an EU student studying in an EU country outside of home country. And while I do need to acquire residency in order to graduate, it's not really an issue. (Residency is different from citizenship, so I won't need to undertake any kind of a citizenship test or alike. I just need to have grounds for applying it, which my student status gives me.) It's just something I have to do before I graduate, since I can exist pretty freely anywhere in the EU just as I am. But I know that's not the case for non-EU students that study in my university. They needed to apply for it right at the beginning of their studies, in order to be allowed to stay in the country

They, nor me, can't work with that though. For that you'd need a citizenship or a work visa, and while I can't say what would give you qualifications for it after graduation, as it probably also depends on the country, I also don't see a reason as to why it wouldn't be doable.

There are universities that accept international students, but I imagine what they'd accept you to study and with what qualifications, also depends on the university. But I do have school mates who do study a healthcare profession while studying something like engineering on the side (one actually just got his doctorate in engineering while studying medicine in our uni). So... anything is possible. I think it'd just be a matter of finding a suitable university for doing that

I'm also currently enrolled as a student in my home country for another healthcare profession, so I would also claim that you don't necessarily need to finish a degree before applying for other things. It's just about what works in your specific situation, I imagine. But also what you want to do. I could have just dropped out from my previous study programme at home, but I chose not to do that

I'm not an expert in this topic, and there are a lot of things to consider in practise, but what I want to tell you is that:

There are options

We have students in their 40s who are only now pursuing their dreams. We have students from at least 4 continents (that I've personally met). There are options out there

[ofallthingsnasty]

It's been a few days since I read your RD2 fic "through the briar" and AHHHHGHGHHH!!! I haven't been able to think of anything else since then, it is such an amazing read. Look I like a softened up Micah as much as the next person, but it was so refreshing to have him portrayed as nasty and horrible as he is in canon. Genuinely got chills and felt creeped out while reading it was great lol

So if its not too much trouble I would like to request maybe a small aftermath fic? Specifically the aftermath if reader did up getting pregnant from that terrible event in the woods. Either how things would play out with the reader being pregnant during the events of the game.

Or instead a mini fic about a few years into the future with the reader already having at least one child with Micah living in a small cabin somewhere. And deciding to grab their kid and make a run for it while Micah is away, and the terrible consequences of that :/

I will honestly be happy with either one of these, if you feel like writing them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long rant and request :)

Oh my god, I got the notif for this while I was at the drug store and I just stood there smiling my ass off at my screen while people pushed me away -- thank you so much, and I am so so happy that you liked it!! Its anniversary is coming up and it's genuinely my favorite fic I've written so far 😭💖💖 I am so honored that it gave you something to chew on, I really wanted to creep my readers out haha

Micah just fascinates me. I really don't like him but his character is just so fucking good - he's positively mesmerizing, a huge part of that is because of Peter Blomquist's absolutely stellar voice acting. I've never had this with a character and haven't found it again so far, Micah is just special. (Hahaha sorry for the ramble lol)

Regarding your requests - have you been living in my brain? 😂💖 Those are exactly the two scenarios that intruge me the most and I want to write both -- because I can't pass up a fic with Arthur absolutely wrecking his relationship with you due to guilt and rage (directed at Micah) and the whole troupe reacting to what has happened (of course, they'd never know the full truth, considering Micah's ways with Dutch) - just a whole lot of suffering for poor, poor little old you. And the escape attempt scenario - and its consequences - have me feral. It's just getting worse and worse for you in this situation. Just a whole lot of delicious misery.

They both came up last year after I posted the fic - but because of me finishing up uni I couldn't even think about writing them. Now that I've got my diploma, I can finally tackle them -- so thanks for expressing interest!! I am putting them on my list for this year, I'm dying to write more Micah...

[lyracreek]

I decided to do a little something for disability pride month this year. It's been a tough year, and it's still tough, but I'm still here.

Image Description:

Panel 1: “This is my first disability pride month identifying as disabled" (The person hangs the disability pride flag next to the queer progress pride flag)

Panel 2: "Some difficulties have always been obvious" (a child sits at a desk covering their ears and closing their eyes. bright, sharp colors surround them.)

Panel 3: "But I've never felt disabled 'enough'. Maybe its a lack of diagnoses. Or because I feel like I could be doing more" (Two pieces of paper. One says "Lab Results: ur doing good bestie :)". the other says "Medical Recommendations: Drink water, exercise, just... get better, fuck you")

Panel 4: "I was 'high functioning' for a long time. I was on honor roll every year and graduated with highest honors." (the person holds in a graduation gown and cap holds up a diploma triumphantly)

Panel 5: "I even won an award for technical theater at school" (the person stands at a lighting board on a desktop computer. In front of them is a truly terrible lighting plot on a stage lighting the text)

Panel 6: "Last year a series of things led to me losing a lot of my independence." (the person sighs holding a suitcase next to them.)

Panel 7: "I had to give up on a lot of long term plans. It was devastating. I still don't have many answers." (the person sits with their knees curled up, head tucked, and arms wrapped around themself)

Panel 8: "But..." (the person raising up from the last panel, wiping their face with the back of their hand and a determined look on their face)

Panel 9: "I'm taking it day by day. And I'm getting back to doing the things I love." (the person is aiming a lit spotlight and has a headset on)

Panel 10: "I'm trying to do it all with compassion. And with Pride." (the person sits in an arm chair reading a book with a steaming mug on a table next to them)

Panel 11: "Happy Disability Pride Month!"

[yisanged]

I'M SICK. this is terrible. so so tired. i took a really intense nap like woke up all gross and sweaty and nauseous and now i feel a little bit better. we met with our guidance counselors personally today GREAT NEWS. i don't have to take french. technically it's a requirement for all of the honors diplomas but what i didn't know is that you're allowed to not meet one (1) of the requirements as long as you meet all the others. slay. no offense to french speakers i just don't feel like extra work for an unnecessary class that doesn't appeal to my interests. maybe a little offense to french speakers. and i asked my counselor and she said she does think i could get the seal of biliteracy with korean i have to talk to the teacher who oversees those tests though. the lunch required thing was true but apparently you can still dip if you talk to the lady in charge of lunch maybe. i might do that to squeeze in that second of period of band first semester. and then the next semester i can student aide maybe? get those volunteer hours for national honors society. or they might make me take gym actually. two years of gym to graduate.. after taking one year of normal gym though you can choose between basically normal gym but again or weight training. i chose the second one. anything to avoid team sports with actually athletic kids who get pissed easily.