#maybe i AM a cool fun person
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things i have done so far with my two week vacation
gone to WV with my boyfriend for five days
seen the mothman museum (see above)
assembled a ten-page-long Mothman Case File for us to review as pretend secret agents, complete with custom logo
started a 'monster of the week' story series on tumblr with its own blog n everything
tried mushrooms for the first time and cried A LOT about cyberpunk edgerunners
hand-sewed a cloak for the ren fair
assembled a cosplay of duck newton from TAZ: amnesty
gotten a new gym membership where i can swim
played about 30 hours of stardew valley expanded
spent six hours worldbuilding my own cyberpunk world
planned and started an ACD-universe Sherlock Holmes story for AO3
things i am still going to do before i go back to work on monday
see a TAZ show in detroit w two friends i've really never hung out w in person before
have brunch with those two friends and my bf
go to the ren faire with my bf and his friends
anyway sometimes i worry i don't do enough with my time and if i didn't have a job i'd never be creative or do fun things
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A few weeks ago, I decided I wanted dyable Constellation pants for my AST glamour, and went back into Eureka Anemos for the first time in over two years. Then, tonight I cleared Baldesion Arsenal and got my very own orb to ponder.
For multiple expansions, I had kinda given up on Eureka. I stopped at level 21 - just entering Pagos - when it was current, and wistfully watched others progress through the 4.x patches without me. It just started to seem like something I'd probably never go back to because it had "been too long" and I didn't have a dedicated group to go with. It seemed exhausting and intimidating.
But then something in me kinda just went "fuck it." I did it, and mostly alone. I relied on pickup groups and the friendliness of familiar faces along the way, and ended up joining CAFE for a newbie-friendly run of BA once I was finished with my new shiny weapon.
Moral of the story is: Do It Scared. Do It Anyway. Just get in there and shout.
#emmer screens#emmer rambles??#eureka#ffxiv eureka#personal accomplishments wahoo!#and the thing is... i've always LOVED eureka#i love the zones i love the story concept#i genuinely did want to finish it to learn what happened#and also it feels good to have finished what's essentially Krile's main companion quest before DT#oh also there's a discord for aether as well called ABBA#but i prefer cafe's vibes#and after tonight i am a sworn follower of theirs bc damn#absolutely wonderful experience#i'm so impressed by the leaders/organizers#BA was really fun!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do it again but i'm also not in a rush#mainly i just want the minion lololol#...and maybe enough tokens to make my cool bard hat glow
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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ok i totally get if like, a massive area that's too much work needs to be cut but boy it went from this to tadpole information dump speedrun which is ahahaha a choice (x)
#larian critical#you have my condolences wyll stans#don't get me wrong although big battles with armies is always a lot of fun personally i get it like ok if it was too much work it ok#but maybe they could've done a bit more to make up for it. more than tadpole infodump speedrun i mean.#bc i think with war college as a staging ground it would've been way more drawn out than it was with it being the iron throne#which is a point of no return type of decision and axes the alliance with gortash#but also now my wish fuilfilment ass can complain the war college and fighting the absolute's armies sounds metal af#HE NEEDS TO STOP TELLING US WHAT WAS CUT I AM LITERALLY SO DISAPPOINTED WITH EVERY NEW THING I LEARN#see i was gonna shut up but the war college sounded cool so now i have to complain#i love big battles and strategizing at war councils /sob#AND DRAGON I WANT THE DRAGON
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dog and i are gonna do a trunk or treat at our church and my mom was like you can be a vampire but DONT have any blood or sharp teeth okay.... and i thouight of the scene at the end of le vourdalak with that guy half soaked in blood and now i want to specifically cosplay that guy covered in blood. but i wont.
#imagine............ (rotates in my mind a nasty white bloodstained shirt)#original nonsense#personal#we wanna have a cool trunk but what are some things we can do that are LOW EFFORT.#nothing. everything is too hard and we're boned. just kidding. or am i#we have halloween streamers and bat cardboard cutouts...#i was thinking maybe we can have a spooky tree and castle silhouette against a blue sheet or something.#maybe liiike. come up with a fun bucket design. IDK AAAAAAA
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Adding deathloop 2021 to the list of things I'm definitely normal about. I love you arkane studios I love you I will follow you to the end of the world
#i finished it yesterday and had so much fun?? i love it here#the second ending looks rushed tho which makes me sad bc then what else in the game had to be cut out :((#but like everything is already so cool ??#i love my cool jacket dad and his extremely classy and smart daughter#i love that band of absolutely despicable bitches that have nothing right with them#the art direction also?? i am EATING IT UP#i love time loops as a concept already whats not to like!! ugh what a banger#idk if ill revisit bc theres only one save slot but. maybe#deathloop#personal nonsense
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idk if theres anything in fnaf that implies that william was a shitty abusive husband besides that if youre a shitty abusive father (and a murder) youre probably a shitty abusive husband. but i like to imagine he and his wife just have like a good normal relationship at least for a while. its kinda funny
#my. am i calling her clara i forgot. well my mrs afton is like a really good match for william and his eccentricities. they met on a fluke#he got her pregnant and they were happily married for like 20 years.#until she mysteriously committed suicide by gunshot to the back of her head so sad#william got too into himself and was afraid that shed find out and get him in trouble. would she? maybe. i think shed be cool with charlie#tbh but i think by the missing children incident shed like talk to him. like this was a personal issue and not murder. idk i dont think she#was a great mom either. shes not a Good Person. better than will but not like. good. theres no good people in the fnaf universe except the#actual children!!!! idk will did have 3 children with her. not that like abusive husbands/parents dont have kids. obviously idk i just thin#he wanted to becauase he actually loved this woman. its fun to MEE. will loves three people ever his wife henry and himself. the#worst relationship in the world#simons spouting#simons fnaf au
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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me: i should mostly keep my main to my posts n art i dont wanna flood it i have a reblog blog for that! also me: posts 80000 reblogs of the characters
#i feel kinda guilty bout it sometimes tbh (like nowtimes)#i see ppl with like cool mains that are all their art or posts and its all nicely sorted with a cool intro and i WANT THAT#and then i feel bad about how mine is flooded with reblogs n side things nhgkshgks#i have like 300 followers who. most definetly dont care about a lot of this bcs of how many fandoms im in#i dont like how many followers i have sometimes just. in comparison to myself#i feel like just a lil guy posting stuff n then theres so many cool ppl i wanna be better#but i just. ghkshgkshg#ik 'have fun its ur blog u ont have to be professional' but#i feel bad that im NOT#one side of me feels bad for having so man followers when im like this and the other side is like#i want to be popular i want attention so i have to be professional yknow only post my art n maybe a reblog or two n og posts but#i just#hgghhghsnga#im hving a night#i also get. minimal interaction minus stuff i reblog and moots who r in my notes often <3 and i love it but also#i am such an attention craver not even in a mean way i just ik i am#i need n want praise for my stuff so when so much of my art gets minimal interact i get sad even when its stpid :(#personal
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I am not immune to cheesy anime one liners and stunning gender ambiguous swordsmen.....
#JUST FINISHED BLUE EYE SAMURAI#IT WAS SO GOOD#i said i wasnt going to watch it right away and then hunkered down and watched the whole thing adfasdf#it was funny -- i tried to get my dad into anime and now hes far surpassed me and has watched so many lol#he recommended this one and i thought it was so fun hed share one back that id never even heard of before#then i laughed because i dont think he knows its not technically anime - just an animated show about japan 😅#but OUGH the art was pretty and im obsessed with these characters#mizu my fucking beloved!!!#im always a 'ball of sunshine' person over the 'edgelord fighter' person so i really thought id be a ringo fan#but uuuuhhhhh no. i am unwell over mizu. so unwell.#this type of show isnt my usual cup of tea#but i was HOOKED#i dont know if ill reblog too much because im scared of the rancid gender commentary i may see if i actually go into the tag -_-#i bet theres such cool fanart but im the queen of curating my experience and i refuse to subject myself to The Discourse.....#maybe i yell about it more when my brain can produce coherent words#very cool.....#rose rambles
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#can't believe tumblr took group chats away from us I feel like a group chat with some of you in it would be so fun#be resisting the urge to create yet another discord server gkdhsks#the first reason being that I dont even know if everyone HAS discord lmao#but I do. but I also do not have the bandwidth to run yet ANOTHER server I don't think??#but also I am... tempted...#idk I feel like I was a Kurt server#mostly though I just want to be friends with everyone you're all so cool#maybe I'll cave and make something idkkkk#but also if someone else wanted to....... I would probably join?#hint hint nudge nudge#ANYWAYYYYY hi ily all#mine#personal
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Imagining edwin in my rock dance class and. It would be an adjustment but i think he'd probably come to enjoy it, especially the more complex moves.
#and charles would think he looks hot also#< brainrot truly at work#but fr well executed lead moves are not only fun to do but also look hot#esp since today we learnt the easiest trust fall move#which is so easy for how cool it looks#and the teacher showed us more advanced ones and those are HOT#anyways#(before i devolve into more brainrot those moves are genuinely difficult if the lead is shorter than their partner)#(it just takes some adjusting but i was glad it wasnt too much of a problem for me)#but anyways#if we follow the themes of the show edwin definitely learns the lead and probably learns the follow part at some point#(i am thinking about his continued precise and controlled movement + how much effort he puts in studying new things.)#(he would make a terrific lead. but also him go spinny)#and charles learns the lead bc thats what he's supposed to do#and also i personally think he'd be a gorgeous and magnetic dancer. dancing with him is immediate good vibes. i wish.#but i also think him dancing with edwin and following would be incredible#and thats relating to the vibes someone put of 'feeling like edwins watson' and also bc he thinks his best mate is brilliant#and also bc i think edwin being super competent as a lead and maybe doing a trust fall/dip would make that pretty brain buffer#(and also bc i think theyd have fun trading. theyre best friends)#anyways in my feelings.#ent talks#dbda
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KR!!!!!!!!!!!!! NELKE!!!!!!!!!!! WHOMST TF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#hypstage might be fighting a fr uphill battle lol#i’ve seen a few more opinions now that day two has rolled around and i personally am seeing a divide between hypstage stans and casuals#like the stans while feeling the difference in casts keenly lol see the point in revisiting the get together stories#like it def helps break the new cast in and can potentially set stage for new original stories#but on the other hand i’m seeing the opinion that bc new encounter did the og stories and made them feel more cohesive#we actually might get a more canon complaint stage#one opinion of that sentiment i read was from a mtc stan and she HATED fp vs mtc stage for example#so while she enjoyed the stage some of her gripes about the stage was its originality#and how it felt a lot of people watched the stage less for hypmic but more for the actors and the different universe#which makes me a bit conflicted bc i also hated some aspects of the stage’s different takes but for the most part loved them lmao#we never got to see adaptations of the og stories so it’s cool that we are now but a lot of hypstage’s power came from that originality#i don’t want to see that go lol hypstage overall has better writing than canon 😭😭😭😭😭#maybe we can get a mix of arb and the stage’s propensity for drama as a production lmao#*coughs* but anyway#LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#I HEARD NAKANISHI SAN IS REALLY GETTING INTO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! HES ALREADY FINDING THAT STRIDE DESPITE NOT HAVING A BIG PART#I HEARD JYUSHI AND HITOYAS PARTS WERE FUN LMAO LET ME INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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I'm genuinely so excited for gencon, it made me do my homework early and I'm gonna do my exam today. So that it won't risk getting in the way of gencon.
Things I'm going to do that I'm most excited about:
Combat Classes for: sword, knife, longsword, saber, kendo, And rogue stage fighting
Introduction to dice making class
Panel on Eberron With Keith Baker AND it'll give out a commemorative d20 as part of it
Panel with critical role artists (not the players themselves, but people who work on the comics and such)
TAZ book launch event for the latest comic book WITH copies of said comic book handed out as part of it
McElroy TTRPG liveplay panel
Signing & selfie with the McElroys (Minus Justin lol)
And those are just the panels!!! Not even all of them. I also have panels for making a hollow book box, making a dice set bracelet, and a panel on gamemaster & writing (specifically bridging between being a gamemaster and being a writer, which is great for me, the writer who wants to gm at some point)
There's also going to be the merch room (so many DIIIIIICE) and assorted other open things. The biggest tabletop gaming convention in North America!!!!!!! I'm PUMPED!!!!!!!!!
#speculation nation#im still a little sad the critical role players wont be here this year. theyve attended in the past.#but that's ok!! still plenty of other things to do. and im excited about meeting the mcelroys in person hfkshfkd#actually a little nervous about that one. i havent been as interactive with their stuff in recent years#but im still an old TAZ fan and have enjoyed their stuff since 2016. that's so long ago!!!! i'm gonna die!!!!!#hfkshfkd my thursday is the most busy. 7 panels that day alone. out of a total of 15 across 4 days.#aka i have Almost half of all my panels just in one day. i will be a busy bee. thats why im gonna pack food lol.#im just vibrating. my first gencon!!! it's so exciting!!!#and im excited about getting personal experience with combat forms for enriching my action writing#and im excited about getting a preview for dice making bc that's smth ive wanted to get into for years now!!!!#and im also just thinking about how many Fucking dice there will be. my personal wonderland.#my sister mentioned that there will be a section for miniatures Specifically the maps that will be used in games later#which will be so fun to look at. i love looking at cool miniature models.#im going to be kind of obnoxious maybe hfkshfkd so im sorry if ppl dont care about my con happenings.#but i havent been to a convention since 2019 and i am EXCITED!!! WAHOO!!!!!!!
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blehhh wish i had friends to go places with. i hate doing stuff alone 😖
#there’s a super cool looking punk market on saturday and i’m gonna go but it would be more fun with someone#gonna maybe message maybe a potential friend on insta and see if that works out#i am trying new things i am becoming a different person i am putting myself out thereeeee#and maybe i will not be so alone :)))))#kat speaks
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