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long way home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#maybe doing bg studies is the activity of choice while waiting fr leaks its so good 2 zone out n not think fr hours#can't stress about canon if you're busy studying window grates and ac units#this ws gonna start as a more train station-y piece#but as i am wont to do i got swept up during my pinterest dive#brought me further and further in2 small town train crossings and i thought they looked so cute#so i am like. puts itfs there :)#i love the idea of them just . meandering whatever quiet town they end up settling down tgt in post-canon#discovering hidden alleys n meeting all the strays holding hands th entire time....#i am manifesting PEACE and TRANQUILITY goddamn it#also i realized after the last domestic itfs series tht my use of red is at an all time low?????? leaning heavy in2 the green/yellow lately#here also . but i like the lil pops of red i included i think it centers them#happy w this!! happy w my me!! as long as i ignore the fact that indoor environments exist maybe backgrounds arent all tht bad :3
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#blood blossom au#my fic#danny fenton#danny phantom#if i REALLY want to get into it i'll have to look at the show's episode synopsis and pick and choose which episodes happen when in the year#maybe pull a scarlet lady and have some of the season 1 episodes happen further down the line instead. but i can do that later. for now#come laugh with me at the mental image of teeny 11 year old danny curbstomping ghosts twice is size and thrice his weight.#bruce is watching old footage from the phantom fights in amity and going 'HNN' in increasing concern. he's got his hands folded and his#chin in his hands and he's going (ą² _ą² ) with his face and he has SO many questions and concerns. for many. many different reasons#first of all he's incredibly upset that danny had to go through this at all in the first place. like no kid should've gone thru this alone#but he. is also. very very softly. going *'what the fuck...'*
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Notes on Jamil's speech patterns
I was supposed to just pick out some examples of typical Jamil lines. How he speaks, the vocabulary he uses, things like that. Something I could easily refer to when writing to get the tone right.
But then it kinda blew up, oop ā because itās hard to talk about how a character speaks without also dipping into why they say whatever they say.
Plus then I wanted to get examples of Jamil in different moods, and could not resist some poignant things that were more related to his character or backstory rather than strictly the speech patterns themselves, so⦠It expanded a bit.
Anyways. Some things I noticed he tends to do:
Sighs (more than I realized)
Snarks
Tch (though could be a more general twst writing choice too)
Stutters when heās flustered / embarrassed / caught of guard (what a cutie)
Goes ahem like an old man when heās trying to get back on track in those off-kilter moments
Kinda formal with his manner of speech and choice of words (especially in servant mode) (I always worry I exaggerate this but he sure does do that)
But thereās still some animatedness with the way he emphasises words, for example
(so long-suffering and ready to bark out directions to Kalim oh boy - the way the directness just comes through when he loses it)
sugarcoating his opinions if he doesnāt feel like he can say them plainly (tyrant becomes rigorous, etc.)
sarcasm, sometimes with a side of deadpan, sometimes with a smirk
āGood griefā (another thing I didn't realize was that much of a catchphrase)
Very mild on the level of insults & swears honestly, (I mean, "drat"?) but I imagine this is more of a result of the game's rating (I guess for in-game reasons we can say he's been very conditioned by his upbringing)
I put the screenshots that seemed telling, and some related notes, on to a google sheet. That way one can filter and order it in various ways.
The sheet is probably best viewed on a computer or another larger screen, the screenshots might make it a bit difficult to navigate on mobile.
I did go in with the assumption that Jamil might speak differently pre-overblot (when the servant mask is firmly in place) and post-overblot (at least those occasions where he allows himself to be more honest). Like, thereās the sycophantic (as Leona calls it) flatterer, versus when Jamilās honestly voicing his own thoughts. Which also shows in how I chose to categorize the screenshots.
Of course events are a bit wibbly wobbly in relation to the main story so canāt be placed in the timeline in the same way, but there are still those occasions where it seems you can tell the difference between the servant mask and a Jamil whoās not saying things just for the sake of appearances.
So, to explain the logic of the sheet:
First column has a screenshot of something Jamil says. The second two columns give the source.
The column for whether or not this happened before or after the overblot is only really used for main story things, since event stories are kinda murky timeline-wise.
Next is whether Jamil seems to be putting on the servant mask or speaking more honestly. This is where get more to interpretation territory, and Iāve not applied it to every screenshot (either because that didnāt seem like the relevant part for that line, or because I couldnāt tell).
The last column of the sheet is where we get most to my personal interpretations. So of course you might read these lines differently than I do, and thatās completely fine, these are simply the aspects that seemed poignant to me. Some notes are simply pointing out specific word choices or style of speech, others delve more into character analysis side of things.
Totally fine if you want to copy this file or modify it to your own needs. All I ask is that you donāt pass off anything I wrote as your own thoughts.
Order of lines is based purely on the order the pics were in my screenshots folder, so guess this is also an insight on the order I played things in, lol.
Tagging some jamil peeps in case y'all find this useful:
@crystallizsch @diodellet @moonyasnow @twstgo @lex752
@majestickitty @viperbunnies
#ner talks#ner makes#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twst resources#I'm sure I could keep on fiddling with this further and maybe pare down on the things / find some more poignant examples#but I'm trying to practice good enough is good enough#and honestly I found it quite useful to do a bit of a closer read like this on his speech patterns#so hopefully this'll be useful for others too#because there were certainly things I didn't notice before (like that āgood griefā) that were quite interesting to spot
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hesitant whisper
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this isn't finished but i know that im not gonna be able to bring myself to complete it so, you can have it in this form lol
#also side note ik a ton of people havent read the book but listen to me for a sec#lawrences desire for sister agnes is so fuckin intense man like u dont get it#n the thing is is that its isnt necessarily rly specifically for agnes. lawrence simply Desires. full stop#he admires her and her position. her steadfastness and respect. but what that means is ultimately void#but when he says something coy or sly towards her she Knows what hes doing. and he knows she knows#agnes doesnt shut it down. she laughs and deflects but does not stop him#but they never go any further. they cant. maybe if they had known several decades prior what it would all lead to#but even then. would they be the same people?#like they r serious to me. they r doomed to me. they r full of love to me#lawrences whole thing w desire and regret is a whole subject on its own that i want to explore more#but thats for another day. and involves pretty much every person or thing he interacts with#jamtams art#jamtam(fan)art#thomas lawrence#lawragnes#sister agnes#conclave fanart
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Damian has favorites
Damian absolutely has favorite siblings, he actually goes out of his way to rank them using a method that lets their rank change depending on several different factors.
The first time Dick saw the list he left Gotham for a week to cry because he wasn't even on it and thought Damian was somehow disowning him until Barbara dragged him back to Gotham and made them actually communicate (terrifying, I know.) (It turned out it was just as simple as Dick was that much of a dad to Damian that it genuinely didn't occur to him to lump him in with his siblings)
As of current, the list goes;
Duke
Stephanie
Cass
Jason
Tim
Jarro
The placement of Jason, Cass, Tim and Jarro changes based on what they've done for him that week, how often he's seen them, if they've upset Father or Richard, any failings vigilante-wise, and mainly the idea of 'If they saw this ranking, would I be embarrassed about it?'.
Duke and Steph are permanently in the top two spots, with their spots only swapping depending on how much Damian has seen and talked to them that day.
Patroled with Duke but Steph took him out for milkshakes and to annoy Bruce? Number one spot goes to her.
Duke takes him out for a ride on his motorcycle during his lunch period at school? Number one spot goes to him.
It's very notable that the list dictates his behavior to his siblings. Whoever's in the top spot? He'll let them carry him as if he's a fucked up cat with barely a complaint if they want to. They earned that. Five and below? He is actively pouring sand into their beds.
Steph is vaguely aware of the list but honestly thinks she's near the bottom or something. Tim is hyper-aware of it but doesn't know what the criteria are and keeps getting really competitive trying to get into the top 2 at least once, and he keeps failing miserably.
#duke thomas#jason#bruce#cass#damian#damian wayne#damian wayne al ghul#dick grayson#batfam#batfamily#Contrary to popular belief this actually helps his relationships with his siblings#Because he has to sit and genuinely think on whether they deserved their spots or not#It does make his grudges so much fucking worse though#Cause he sat on it for awhile then was like 'No you WERE being an ass and now you're 6th for the month.'#stephanie brown#steph brown#Dick honestly isn't sure this is healthy but at Damian's age he was beating criminals up instead of therapy#So maybe this is completely normal for kids with siblings#Cass doesn't know there's like an actual psychical list but she's vaguely aware that he ranks them sometimes#She's unsure of whether or not to call him out on it but ultimately decided watching Tim go feral trying to be top 3 is the funnier#So she just watches this shit go down#And doesn't tell Tim that he DOES break top 3 sometimes#but only when he's not trying#And some point Tim lets on thathe knows#and makes several pointed comments about being more decisive with choosing who the best sibling was#The only thing this does is make him split everyone into their real names and vigilante persona#And it actually gets Tim (and Red Robin) FURTHER down on the list more often.
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MiqoMarch Day 20 - Memory
Rare is it to see you so shaken. I can only imagine what thoughts must be consuming you at this moment, my love.
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#miqomarch#miqomarch2025#dawntrail spoilers#arsay nun#g'raha tia#wolgraha#Arsay's dialogue from the loss prompt touched on this but this is the part of the living memory that she finds the most fucked up#the fact that everyone elses memories get scrubbed of the deceased#For Arsay -who has a trauma related fear of being forgotten- the everkeep system is maybe the worse thing for her to learn about#because like even if she has been guilty of avoiding thinking about her dead friends/parents/enemies because it comes bundled with feelings#she doesn't out right forget them. those memories of them will always be there. there's a difference between avoidance and forgetting.#Usually Arsay is very good at keeping her body language under control. especially in a group. but something like this is too upsetting#And even tho Rahas instinct is to calm her down but he knows better to draw any further attention to her#but ooh my god is she stewing at this. literally crossing her arms as tight as she can to hold herself in. her tail is more puffed up too#hard to tell cause shes already so fluffy but the base of her tail looks thicker than usual#Shes so angry. disgusted. and beyond sad for the peoples whose existence she feels has been erased#and of course she cant help but put her herself in the shoes of those people and consider what if every one just forgot about her one day#and that makes her even more upset#had to do some shifting around of npc placements for this lmao#they move the chair out for graha at the front in the cutscene only so I couldn't put him in the same spot and have him floating in the air#also it just makes more sense for him to sit next to Arsay and makes the comic framing so much easier
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you have $100. due to a squid games type escapade, you are currently trapped in Whole Foods and can't leave or someone will take you out with a bullet to the brain. you have to buy all the food you eat. you can't shoplift it or steal it from the other competitors. a carton of 12 organic eggs costs $10.
your friend Greg has $100. due to a competing squid games franchise, he is trapped in a Costco. he can't leave, or they'll set the dogs on him. he still has to buy all the food he eats. he can buy 36 eggs for $7
which one of you will starve first? are you or Greg functionally "wealthier" within your respective squid game?
#some of the people on this website are so fucking stupid it is unbelievable#sorry to be like āyou dont pay rent or have a jobā but they obviously do not pay rent or have a job#maybe if i say it in television they will be able to understand#āif you live somewhere things cost more#you functionally have less moneyā is so basic an idea i dont know how to dumb it down further for you#i really dont#this is like flunking out of basic story problems-level math you fucking morons#if you live in hawaii $10 is functionally $6 at the grocery store#in alaska its about $4#whats not clicking#wow what a great blocklist honeypot this post is!!!
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u know what would be a cool genshin fic idea? isekai/transmigrated reader, but instead of appearing within the general timeline, you come into the genshin world 500 years prior to the start of the storyline in khaenri'ah.
honestly it could be either a little before the cataclysm, giving enough time to delve into some relationship building + explore some world building with characters like dainsleif, traveller's sibling (which would probably be lumine bc i actually do like her as abyss sibling & aether as traveller), and npcs like halfdan (still crying over him to this day ;w;) and possibly the khaenri'ahn royal guards (assuming you either join them or have a good enough relationship with them), OR it could be you appear during the crisis, completely and utterly lost as to why you were brought amidst the chaos and bloodshed as you watch everything you barely knew about this nation crumble before your very eyes.
either route will still result in reader's existential crises and constant "why am i here? just to suffer?" monologues because really, who would be fine after going through that after coming from /our/ world? and not to mention you've had to endure the next 500 years wandering with no real set path because you don't know this worldā this era of teyvat or of genshin. you're merely stuck, unable to die, and forced to live a life of uncertainty with no clear direction for you to go to.
despite it all, you've at least been able to see dain during this course. while your meetings pass far too quickly for your lonesome, and his solemn demeanour is something you're yet to be accustomed to after having been with him before the fall of khaenri'ah (assuming it's the route where you appear before the cataclysm), you're glad to see a familiar face every now and then. after the messy departure with the lumine who left for the abyss order, you've come to appreciate his quiet presence more and more each time.
and then you decide it might be time to settle. you soon realise it's difficult to do so when your lifespan has become far more than that of a human's ā of a mortal's ā and so you find yourself becoming used to staying in one place for a few years before setting off for the next. rinse and repeat. over and over. it's come to a point where you've witnessed the nations undergo various changes each time you visit. you know change is inevitable, and yet your heart stings each time you witness it; a testament to how the world is ever-changing, yet you're stuck in place as a bystander.
one thing you're grateful for, however, are the bonds you've established amid your back-and-forth over the centuries. from archons like zhongli and venti to long-life beings such as neuvillette and the adepti to regular mortals who have showed you kindness as if one of their own... you've grown to cherish those memories, often reminiscing them when the nights get too long and surroundings too quiet. it was difficult at first, and still is, but you've become used to the inevitable change and the passing of those you once knew.
and after 500 years, you find yourself face-to-face with one you haven't seen since before you appeared in this world; the protagonist of this world, and the one you eventually join in hopes of finally finding a means to an end, aether.
little side notes/extras:
from /our/ world, you would probably know the storyline from up to around current (5.0) or maybe a little after the fontaine aq conclusion. it gives a lot to work with, but you definitely won't remember a lot of the lore after so long other than some main events, especially since most of your knowledge is pretty irrelevant for the next 500 years,,,
i think it would be cool if you had an inteyvat on your person as a little homage of khaenri'ah, which may or may not invoke some opinions from certain characters (*cough* aether immediately being reminded of lumine and having an existential crisis *cough*)
post-cataclysm you would go through a, uhm, long phase of helplessness, wondering why you were even brought to this world so far back if you couldn't even make any contributions. it does eventually morph into a resolution to do what you can to help those you come across if it's within your capabilities, but the nightmares and helplessness come back every now and then as a reminder for what you can't do :D yippee :D
honestly i'm on the fence whether you would have a vision or some other type of abilities (think on the similar lines of aether/lumine's and dain's), but i think having some type of purification mechanic would be a must in your arsenal !! would definitely lead to some moments between you and characters like dain or zhongli who suffer from the erosion as you give them a slight reprieve from what rages within and corrodes them
a little self indulgent, but i'd like to think your first /proper/ meeting with zhongli happens during a lantern rite festival, wherein you're admiring the lanterns in the sky after making a wish of your own and he comes up from behind with "they're beautiful, wouldn't you say so?" and !!
also as for love interests, as much as i would love for human/mortal characters, a part of me feels like this story would be better suited for the immortal/long-life characters as love interests?? idk i feel like considering that 500 years is, well, a long time, the bonds you would have with them compared to characters like, say, alhaitham or diluc would be way too different ?? though i would definitely still add them as love interest bc i am a sucker for so many of the human characters ;w; it would also add to the angst and hurt/comfort ahahha...
anyway thank you for reading this massive brain dump of a fic bc i absolutely would put this as a long term project, and if u made it this far then i would like to say that dain solosā
#sophie talks : concepts <3#dont mind me i am just in HEAVY brainrot over this genshin x reader concept bc OURGH??? THE POSSIBILITIES??? THE LORE??? THE RELATIONSHIPS?#also exploring dynamics with the immortals/those with longer lifespans like zhongli; the adepti; neuvillette; the archons in general; DAIN#and lumine; and maybe fatui... hehe.... AND AETHER TOO#omg imagine pierro trying to convince u to join him in the fatui after having finally tracked u down after the cataclysm bc of ur frequent#changes from nation to nation only for u to turn him down saying u dont wish for further damnation. he leaves u alone and u think he wont#pester u anymore until u see him years later again and again and again; him with the same question and u with the same answer#BUT ALSO KHAENRI'AH WORLD BUILDING/EXPLORATION BUT ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE WRITING A MEDIEVAL ROYAL AU RAAHHH#sir royal guard captain!dain interactions... the royal guards... adopted royal!lumine interactions bc ur just like her from another world#and tells u stories of her and aether & u grow closer and u travel with them before dain joins u both before the inevitable break up and#OMG WAIT MADAME PING DYNAMIC WHEN U BECOME FRIENDS WITH THE ADEPTI AND SHE JUST OFFERS U TEA AND A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON BC SHE KNOWS U SO WE#AND OHHHRHJFHJHGJF#cries. this fic would be a lot of emotional hurt/comfort and self acceptance for new life and reader will need a big fat long hug#anyway i will write this. one day. hopefully.
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please humor my self-indulgent artwork for the historical AU I mentioned like half a year ago and finally started writing. Detective Dazai and swordsman-for-hire Chuuya teaming up to solve crime cases during the Meiji period āØ
close-up because after a decade on this website I still havenāt figured out how to get images to look sharp
#take āwritingā loosely⦠my art block was replaced by a writing block⦠or maybe I can just focus on one per time⦠someone help š#and I overscoped⦠which tends to happen with my creative ventures but I really hope I will get something done with the au soon#the first chapter is finished but I want to get a few others finished and the rest drafted before posting anythingā¦#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#soukoku#skk#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bsd#my art#this artwork is kind of inspired by a scene thatās going to happen a bit further down the line! skk team work yippie <3
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Not a yes 'no'
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#midlander#hyur#garlean#garlean oc#ffxiv screenshot#ffxiv edit#ffxiv screenshot edit#gpose#gposers#my screenshot#my edit#evan frostlake#nabaath-areng#a little glimpse into the past.....#to a time where evan could only imagine how bad things would turn out for him down the road#:-) im so mean to him i almost feel bad just look at that face LMAOOOO#dont feel bad enough to stop though sorry boy-#maybe one day ill stop being so goddamn vague all the time#but i feel like im being pretty blatant here afdghdfd#i should post evans full bio at some point for further context#anyway... strikes a pose....
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I so badly want to study the genetics of tlt universe
#Gideon inheriting Jod's recessive golden eyes that he only has because of the Earth#So Wake must either have the lipochrome recessive allele too somehow#or some other allel that produces no enzyme/lesser efficient enzyme if we're dealing with multiple allelism here#not to mention I'm pretty sure eye colour is polygenic? so that complicates things further#and the twins have purple eyes#and thanergy mutates gametes chromosomes to make the child necromantic#but there's no assurance that if both parents are necromancers the children will be the same#so is it like non inheritable epigenetic mutations?#if there's a true breeding like of necromancers how does that affect the probability of the child being a necromancer#and most importantly how have humans not evolved differently in 10000 yrs?#I mean if humans are scattered across space then the selection pressures must be so different despite artificial conditions right?#I just don't see how stasis since the resurrection can be there when people are living in many different solar systems?#this leads me to ask#IS JOD NECROMANTICALLY MESSING WITH THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNIVERSES GENETICS#I mean he can pause time and decay#so maybe he can stop/slow down evolution?#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon nav#kiriona gaia#john gaius#Commander Wake#Commander Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#harrowhark nonagesimus#Pelleamena Novenarius#Priamhark Noniusvianus#tlt theory
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wait what are your thoughts on how moon and morrowseer were handled? if you're okay with sharing ofc
sorry i'm nosy lol
I don't think it needed to be explored more. I don't really see it adding add anything new or interesting to Moon's character arc.
I also just think it's refreshing for a character to not have baggage from the stuff their infamous parent(s) have done haha.
#when characters have bad parents i feel like their arcs are either about them turning into their parents#or avoiding turning into their parents#and those things wouldn't really further moon's character arc...? i feel like...?#maybe it would lead to some interesting developments for other characters#since morrowseer is... not the most well-liked by the general public#but i mean. characters already get mad at her when they find out she has powers#is another reason for characters to hate her really necessary...?#give my girl a break#and don't worry about asking for my thoughts!! i'm always down to yap#junk
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The Therapist
There's a new therapist at school.
Normally this wouldn't really bother Peter at all, since he's never gone to see a shrink in his life and doesn't ever plan on it, but there's something... off about this woman.
She seems unassuming enough at first glance. Red hair, green eyes, bright red lipstick. But there is something in her eyes, something that Peter can only describe as a predator looking at its next prey, when she looks around the school at all of the teenagers milling about. Heck, even the way she walks makes her seem as if she is a predator stalking her prey.
It could always be some kind of power move, Peter reasons. He's met people like that before, who try to intimidate everyone around them into thinking that they are superior, that they are the apex predator and anyone who dares to cross them would pay for it dearly.
But his Spidey Sense went crazy around her.
He tries to brush it off as paranoia. He'd pulled an all-nighter last night in the lab with Tony because neither of them had been able to sleep, and he hadn't been sleeping well even before that. (Funny, how it had all started the night after he first bumped into the new therapist in the halls.) So his Spidey Sense is probably out of wack because he's tired. Simple as that.
But it seems like everyone in the school is depressed. Even Ned, who can't even muster up the energy and enthusiasm to talk about Legos or Star Wars or even the weather. It worries Peter.
Because it all started when that therapist came to the school.
He can't ignore it forever, he knows that. There is only so long his Spidey Sense can tell him that she is danger danger danger before he finally listens. He has to do something to help everyone.
So he researches.
And he falls into the rabbit hole of ghosts and ectoplasm and secret government organizations and the little, unassuming town of Amity Park, Illinois.
He doesn't sleep that night.
When he comes to school the next morning, Dr. Penelope Spectra looks him dead in the eyes, and smiles.
#dpxmarvel#peter parker#penelope spectra#peter's boutta get a crash course in ghosts and ghost fighting#he is definitely not prepared#idk why spectra is in new york#specifically midtown tech#but she is#peter starts digging into amity park#he just wanted to find out who spectra is#and he did find out that she's a dangerous āecto-entityā#he does not know what that is until he does more research#he's very shocked to learn that ghosts are apparently real#meanwhile tucker and the rest of team phantom is freaking out#someone just hacked past the media blackout or whatever around amity park#(you can thank friday (or karen if you prefer) for that)#they're surprised to see that it's coming all the way from new york#and even more surprised to see that the hacker went for spectra's files first#almost as if the hacker was specifically looking for them >:3#maybe danny goes to investigate and finds peter#btw peter can sense ghosts with his spidey sense even if they're invisible. especially if they're invisible#they team up to take spectra down#danny helps peter make some ecto-weapons and a specter deflector or something#then they catch spectra (and bernard because he's probably there too and i'm kinda just now realizing that)#peter gives danny his phone number as thanks and tells him to call him if he ever needs anything#peter doesn't know who phantom is btw. he just knows that his new friend is a ghost that luckily knows how to use technology like phones#maybe there's even a bad reveal a little further down the line and danny calls peter in a panic because sam and tucker have done everything#they can and he needs to get as far away from amity as possible#peter is very surprised to find that his ghost friend is only half ghost and is then very ticked that danny's parents tried to capture#and vivisect him
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literally born to be a cute lil bunnyboy šš¤

bonus bunnyboy cuteness :3c





+alpha! uwu

#ok to rb#i didnt wanna pick photos so my solution was this instead uwu#i just feel very cuties in my jammies š„°#also I really love my nose in the second pic hehe#[also to be completely disgusting for a second: pls note how folded in half i am. now please be aware i can fold even further. be even more#aware i can fold like this on my back too. please imagine my cute little pants pulled down around my ankles. now imagine pushing me down an#pushing my oversized shirt up to expose me and folding me in half#pulling my pants behind my head so i cant escape and just. imagine the sight of me on display like that while looking at the cuteness š¤ ok]#bun.life#this is maybe perv / predator bait also ? š
is that a thing ?#sryy if the amt of selfies ive posted recently has been annoying i need to keep reminding myself i exist so ive been taking more in general
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A downside to my Miss Havisham era: I have to acknowledge that the weird maybe-metallic bang heard without the house 1-3 times almost daily isn't the roommates bumping about, the cats getting up to trouble, the dishwasher/washing/drying machines, or even the radiators or A/C.
1-3 times a day something in this huge old dilapidated house decides to go CLANK, and I have no idea what it is
#it has never happened when i'm in a part of the house where i can easily discern what might make that sound#it's just. SOME pipe? maybe? expressing a complaint??#god this house is SO old. i don't know which part to stress about any of it more than the rest#i think now that i'm living alone and 90% responsible for this beast of a house i should probably have a tag for it#i'm absolutely gonna rant about it further#hmm.#house hell#it's absolutely gonna be hell down the line#the rotting ceiling in my bedroom is ample proof of that#but i keep making the joke even though i haven't read great expectations in like. decades#havisham era
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I've had this account now for 5ish years now. I've been in therapy for years, not exclusively for religious trauma but it's a major part. I've gotten better. I have a lot of content here I could reflect on, but I don't think I want to. I like knowing I progressed. I don't like looking at what from. Usually religious trauma comes up in therapy as an "oh yea...." instead of by name now. It's indirect. Enmeshment. Parentification. Vaginismus. Scrupulous and Harm OCD. Alexithymia. Derealization and Depersonalization. Paranoia.
I'm like, a real adult now I guess. I have a bachelor's degree now. I walk this upcoming weekend. I live in a house and I'm renting out a room with my own money. It has a backyard my cat likes to run around in. I had a job interview in my chosen field today. It went well
Then I'll go back to my family for the weekend and I find out they're spiraling into AI generated christian conspiracy theory videos. Their pastor is preaching about Trump being the anti-christ, and any non-Trump or Conspiracy message is the same thing he's said for the past decade, sometimes word for word. My uncle is convinced he's a prophet. He tells a story about a girl that was paralyzed after not listening to his message. My grandfather is convinced us black people are the true Israelites and chosen people. I thought I was the only one medically neglected by my aunt who's a doctor. I was not. I show her my emotions chart app. She tells me it's good so I can recognize when I feel bad and remember Jesus's love until I'm happy again. It's not normal for your joints to pop out of place apparently. We all learned this at the same time. It's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That explains a lot. My grandfather fell asleep to a video about the Ethiopian bible and how other bibles were made to take out miracles by Jesus and angels again. The remote is lodged in his hand so we can't change it
Then I talk about plants and food with my dad and my grandmother. My dad jokingly complains about his mom making him garden with her all day half a century ago. I give her a little kiss on her forehead before I go. My dad sends me home with leftover peach cobbler he made. I eat it with my lunch at my job. I answer phone calls at a front desk. I paid real taxes for the first time this year. I go to therapy and I talk about everything from my sex life to my graduate school plans to my opinions about generative AI (I hate it). I'm like, a real, breathing adult that has autonomy I guess. I'm not even claimed as a dependent anymore. I built my own desk that I bought from Big Lots.
You get where I'm going with this right? I'm not cured or healed by any means. Far from it in fact. I still get a pang of anxiety using the lord's name in vain and a chill down my spine when manifesting feels too close to confessing. It's harder making a personal post about religious trauma now though. It's not necessarily that I'm cured, it's just so engrained that I've created atheistic excuses to stay stuck in my religious trauma. I can pinpoint the source of it if I think about it long enough, so I don't think about it long enough
I'm not afraid to think lustful thoughts because holding lust in your heart is a sin, it's because I feel like a creep. I'm not worried I'll be sent to hell if I make mistakes that take me further from Jesus, I just think making mistakes would make me a bad person and an asshole. These beliefs popped out of nowhere, of course. They aren't influenced by the religious trauma so deeply buried in my head that taking it out would feel like taking out the gray matter of my brain itself. I'm schrodingers's man where I'm only a human when I'm observed. It used to be a deity but then it was you. I'm observed by you and that proved I'm human just long enough to get by when I most needed it. I still have that problem, but I'm seen outside of here. I see myself more often too
I don't want this post to seem like a good-bye, because it's not. I'm just currently in a period of limbo and I feel like the next generation of religious trauma bloggers are rising. I'm too busy arguing with my therapist about why I'm a bad person in a way that doesn't just boil down to "I'm a sinner in need of redemption" in a desperately-secular way. I'm self-aware enough to know that's what I'm doing, but not progressing enough to stop yet. I think what will happen is I'll eventually get frustrated enough to give up on the secular origins of my mental distress. I think a lot of you are in a similar place. You're out long enough that it feels like it should be over. You don't live in the bible-thumping, belt-wielding, gay-bashing, hellscape you once did. You might even be no-contact. You pay taxes now in your apartment. But it's not over. It's still there. It's just harder to say it's Jesus's fault I'm like this. It feels like it's been too long to still blame the bible.
It's not. It's buried in your synapses and neurons and muscles and bones and skin and hair and teeth and it's hard to remember that after 5 years. It's not oozing out into your bloodstream and filling you with enough cortisol and adrenaline to fuel an elephant anymore. It trickles though like a leaky faucet. I think I've lost the plot at this point, but you get it
Like I said, not a goodbye despite what it seems like. I just have to remember that a leaky faucet is still a concern
#Like I said I might've lost the plot a bit but like you get it right?#I'm not on this blog as often anymore#in fact i'm not on tumblr as much anymore#but not because I don't like tumblr it's because I've been in a state of chaos the last couple months#and I try to think of why I'm reacting the way I do to things and my therapist just looks at me#and I tell him#I'm past this. I don't think about religion anymore. I joke about being smited down#And he just looks at me. It pisses me off so we stop talking about it. He doesn't push any further#I'm an adult. I make the decision to talk if I want#Like I said#not a goodbye#it's a change of substance#I think if I start up on this blog again it'll be less religious trauma and more getting back to religious trauma#if that makes sense#like i'm here to get back to the root of the issue but I wouldn't be directly thinking about religion anymore#cause it's hard to not immediately assume I'm past it already#but yea no sorry for the long and dramatic post I'm in a weird headspace man#we upped my mood stabilizers recently too so I've been in a weird state of near stability#like I can recover now from terrible things I don't feel like killing myself for the next week#just the next hour or two. maybe the day if it's truly bad#I actually believe the 'emotions are temporary' thing now. Medication is a miracle yall this is good shit#before if I felt this bad I'd be 5150'd ngl but I actually feel like I can get thru shit#I mean it takes a little while longer than the average person to get there but I do get there now#anyways#excuse my rambling#ex christian#religious trauma#long post
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