#maybe even bawl
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buck is actually the most bisexual person to ever exist methinks…doesn’t even matter if they make it canon because LOOK AT HIM…listen to the words he says and you tell me that’s not a bisexual
#911 abc#evan buck buckely#evan buckley#anyway#that being said if they DO make it canon i will cry 100%#sob actually#maybe even bawl#i’ve already started tearing up just thinking about it so pray for me… keep your fingers crossed#kiss a crystal#what have you
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niche hc but when Neil is having a Learn Every Language In The World day, he’s just being annoying with Andrew and going through every European language and stopping to google a few phrases before moving on. Eventually he gets to Ireland and Kevin’s not really paying any attention to him until Neil says a word like ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ and he freezes up in the corner of the room.
Andrew notices straight away obviously and stops Neil but then Kevin just starts to cry.
When Kevin’s mother was alive she would call him pet names in Irish, and use some Irish words sporadically here and there when she was speaking, like most Irish people do, and he hasn’t heard anyone speaking Irish since she passed away. Thank you is one of those phrases that a lot of Irish people use day to day just to keep the language alive, and it was always one of those things she made him say as a younger kid to help her feel close to home.
Nobody really knows what to do, and he’s not sure whether he’s happy or sad or both or neither, but just hearing the language out loud causes such a visceral reaction for him that he can’t help it. It’s the first time in a while he’s caught himself thinking, I miss my mom.
#maybe he goes over to David’s to talk about her for a little bit#and he asks Kevin what brought this all on#and when he says it was because Neil spoke Irish Wymack just laughs#and tries to remember what she used to call Kevin#mo chuisle (literally meaning my pulse or the love of my heart) was one she used to call Kevin#and even though he butchers the pronunciation it still makes Kevin bawl like a baby because he’d really forgotten so much about his mom#anyways#silly stuff#aftg#tfc#Kevin day#Andrew minyard#Neil josten#not gonna be the pretentious Irish person who put the gaeilge in the post but
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I remember when I saw the show, Joshua Boone’s mic had water in it so it was a little muffled (ig his backup mic had water in it too) and it wasn’t really clearing up so he did little brother with it like that. And oh my fucking god did it make that song more emotional. Because his voice was sorta muffled and sounded like it was under water and it made it feel like he was drowning in his own thoughts and grief too much to handle it. And I can’t even make this up, the water cleared out of the mic at the very end of the song. And the way I sat there, sobbing, and completely gagged bc it was like him standing in front of the train was the only thing to pull him out of his complete sorrow
#ok maybe I was overanalyzing it#but it showed that even things that are considered accidents on Broadway#can make the performance that much more emotional#I literally remember going to stage door and my mom said told me my mascara was running and I’m like YEAH BC I WAS SOBBING???#I BAWLED#JOSHUA BOONE IS INCREDIBLE#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders#dallas winston#little brother#joshua boone
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what i think the ride to mika’s hometown was like after shu pushed him away in human comedy
#my art#mika kagehira#pov ur an average japanese citizen taking a ride and you look to ur left and see mika fucking kagehira from valkyrie#and you go “holy shit THE mika fucking kagehira is here on my train ride should i talk to him or like”#and then you hear the most pathetic devastated noises you’ve ever heard from a real life person’s mouth#just the saddest “OSHI-SAN…..OSHI-SAN….” ever. agonized sobbing. ugly crying so hard.#and you just decide that maybe its for the best you just don’t even look at him. give him a little space#mika handled this much better than i would have tbh#my friend tried to cut me off at one point bc of Events that werent rlly my fault and she was nice about it and i bawled my eyes out#(she came back the next day telling me never mind it was fine)#if i was spoken to like that by my favorite person ever i would have jumped off a bridge. props to mika tbh
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TW!mentioned pet death, very briefly mentioned current war in Ukraine
So. I had a cat. Like, we actually had multiple cats in the family, but the previous ones were when I was too little to remember, and then as I was like around 12 I think mum allowed to have a new kitten. Her name was Шуша (Shushah) like an alien little critter from Kir Bulychev's books (a big soviet sci-fi writer). She was a Russian Blue cat, but a little mixed, so she was grey but with yellow eyes. I would write more about her but I can't really handle it rn. She was a lovely kitty.
Cancer took her July 10th last year. She was a few months short from being 10 yo. I don't give any fucks whether it's long or short for a cat.
Here's a thing I wrote the day she went on, I'm not translating it into English but if you wanna learn a few things about her, you can copy paste it in google translator.
Сегодня умерла моя кошка Шуша. Её звали в честь зверька из книг Кира Булычёва, хотя она не умела включать мультики, и я её очень сильно люблю. Она любила яичницу с помидорами, кукурузу из банки, круассаны и вонючую кошачью еду, а ещё гоняла по полу соломинки для коктейлей и боялась трясогузок. Ещё она любила лечь прямо поверх рук, когда я занимался уроками, а последнее время - когда её чухали за животик, обязательно приговаривая вслух "чуха-чуха", иначе ей не нравилось. Ещё она любила пение горбатых китов, скрипку и некоторую тяжёлую электронику, никогда толком не кусала еду, просто слизывая её с тарелки, и один раз прошлась по клавиатуре компьютера моей сестры так, что открыла код какого-то закрытого, почти секретного американского сайта. Я нарисовал её не в полную длину, потому что когда она делала потягушечки как следует, она могла занять целую кровать, а так мне оставалась хотя бы одна треть. Вы её не знали, но если вдруг вы сегодня будете есть что-то из её любимой еды, пожелайте ей хорошо добраться, на коленях доброго бога её уже ждут, чтобы почесать за ушком.
My dad is living in Yerevan now, because he had to leave our country to avoid the obligatory draft cuz of course he is not going to kill Ukrainian people, that's literally half of our family. So. Yerevan is a very stray anmals filled city. Mostly dogs, but cats too.
And just now dad sent into our family group chat some vids and pics of a stray cat that snuck into his apartment and is currently snacking on some cat food dad has since my last visit to him (I was feeding stray animals cuz it was winter).
My point is, that kitty that has occupied dad's dingy apartment, is grey with yellow eyes.
#i literally cannot think calmly about Shusha till this day#i am very bad with grief and i had only a few close beings (pets or people) die and i haven't gotten over any of those losses#but this just fucked me up on a whole another level#because i don't know if that's our kitty that decided to come back to us for another life#or just a coincidence#or maybe the pictures don't even show her fur and eye colour right#all i know is i am fucking bawling my eyes out just as much as the day my cat moved on in the great cycle#sometimes i don't really know what's the point in going on if she's not here#in this family which i don't even have a bad family but i'm just not really fitting in#in this family she was the closest one i had#i fucking miss her#juju's grumbles
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Omg how funny would it be if like, the end-credits scene for Ahsoka was Ezra going to visit Zeb because Filoni if you don't give me the brothers reunited I swear and they're catching up outside the house and Zeb is like "yeah no my life's been pretty good, except Sasha can't grow a decent meiloorun" and the normal people will be like ooh, Sasha, who's she, wonder if she's pretty, and we're gonna be like hanging off the ceiling crying screaming throwing up bc Sasha? Sasha!?!?!! and then Kallus comes out the house and he's like "I heard you slandering my meilooruns Garazeb, they might look funny but they taste fine" and the crowd goes WILD
#and the normal people will be so confused#and I will laugh at their bewilderment whilst kicking my feets in the air and bawling like a whole BABY#I'm trying to find the best possible way they could canonize kalluzeb#if they even have zeb on it's looking kinda shady#but I think the end-credits scene would be a good way to do it if they insist on not putting him in the actual story#bc I want to know that he and Ezra get to see each other again maybe get a hug#and goshDARNit if they take kalluzeb away from me I will likely never get over it#anyway this is a top contender for sheer hilarity#kalluzeb#garazeb orrelios#zeb#alexsandr kallus#ahsoka show#ahsoka series#star wars#Ezra bridger#end-credits postulation#martianbugsbunny ships
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Thinking about Sabine waking up in the comm tower in the middle of the night and finding herself alone in bed and having a panic attack like “oh no oh no oh no oh no…it was all just a dream…Ahsoka and I never found Ezra…and I never told him I loved him…and we never got married…and our life together was just a haunting invention of my subconscious…”
…then the toilet flushes down the hall and Ezra stumbles out of the refresher in his little orange sleep shorts and flops back into bed beside her and passes out immediately while Sabine is still trying to get over her emotional whiplash.
#ok but waking up from a really vivid dream and not being sure what’s real for a few seconds#that’s actually terrifying#so I can imagine Sabine has to deal with this a lot#she’s in the habit of reaching out to touch Ezra’s beard to anchor herself in the present#but sometimes he’s off taking a tinkle or grabbing a midnight snack#and Sabine will get up and go looking for him and not go back to bed until he comes with her#maybe Ezra starts carrying her around with him when he gets up?#“welp it’s 3 AM and I really gotta go pee…better throw my sleeping wife over my shoulder so she doesn’t wake up alone and start bawling”#I love Sabezra so much because I’m not even sure that’s crack for them#they’re partners who would literally do anything for each other#sabezra headcanons#sabezra#sabine wren#ezra bridger
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have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!
(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#levi's ted talks#the most recent seasons ive rewatched r hunted and sog and theyre still as good and thrilling as when i first watched#a little of s1 too#i put it down there bc the writing was kinda weird BUT it was the starting point of ninjago so im never hating on it#plus the memorable moments like goddamn#i constantly rewatch s13 i love it too much#i cant bring myself to rewatch seabound bcaause knowing whats gonna happen next is so fucking PAINFUL 😭#even tho im an angst lover the fucking seperation makes me bawl#my friend literally couldnt talk to me for a few days bc of the shock from the ending when it first came out#and to be completely honest DR is what got me fully back into the ninjago fandom#like id reblog posts n whatever but wasnt so involved#and id just rant with my friend abt it#but then when DR's release was announced i made my first post for it#(a redraw for an incorrect quote post: dig in my art tag and youll maybe find it . but beware)#and now im here with so many moots#art improvement and 3 fics and more coming aswell#how the fuck
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dont mind me I’ll just be here crying a bit cuz I was just told my long distance best friend’s mom asks abt me all the time 😭
#charlie tag#something abt how your family knows abt me#like I know that you talk abt me and they’ve heard my voice from the 28382 voice messages I send you#and I’ve interacted w your mom specifically thru you a couple of times but idk#maybe it’s cuz I’m yet to touch you and hug you like I want to but you’re such an important part in my life that#I can’t picture it without you in it anymore. I don’t want to.#but I only know what I feel and how you feel cuz you’re so good at letting me feel loved#but to also know that your family cares about me? even tho I haven’t even talked to them?#that’s an aspect of your love I don’t get to see but turns up in casual mentions of you saying your mom asked if I’m having Christmas off 😭#all the information that it implies: that I’ve been working a lot cuz of the restaurant and my other job. you worrying abt me#and her worrying in turn#like 😭😭😭#i love you so much#imma go bawl now
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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Please go watch Flow (2024), also known as Straume, at your earliest convenience. It is one of the single most beautiful movies I've ever seen in my life, yes visually, but especially emotionally, and I can't recommend it highly enough. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if it's your type of movie, it will absolutely be worth your time.
#spoilers incoming!#actually these really aren't spoilers but just my reactions#god this movie affected me in a way that i don't think any movie ever has#the credits rolled and i watched them go by instead of getting on tumblr right away#and as they ended with the whale creature's spines gliding above the surface i just started sobbing#I don't know what happened#something about this movie just took ahold of me and i think it changed me? or broke me? or healed me? or all of the above#i cried at a few points throughout too but it was the quiet weepy kind of tears#after the credits though! i was bawling!#i dont know how it managed to do that to me!#maybe I'm totally over sharing by rambling about my visceral emotional reaction to the movie into the tumblr void#😅#id be curious to see if anyone else reacted that way haha#or really just hear people's thoughts on the movie in general#it was absolutely phenomenal in my opinion#anyway if anyone is reading these please go watch the movie#like yesterday#oh my god and i didnt even mention how locked in i was as soon as the flood started#and the sheer fear i felt basically all the time 😅#i feel like i need to write an essay about it but im way too incomprehensible for that 😅
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getting hit with the "feeling touch starved need to be Held" curse so hard like there is an evil wizard somewhere who hath set a hex upon me for all time . the only cure for such a powerful curse is like maybe a hug perchance
#boys who need like a hug So Bad. not even like touch in a s*xy way at this point im sure but maybe just little a hug#or maybe a hand hold i thjnk a hug would be maybe too much for me at once. maybe a hand hold... maybe a hand touch first we can work up 2 it#there is a BITCH ASS WIZARD and he cast CURSE OF TOUCH STARVED so bad i am shaking and curling up in a bawl. bawling even (not rlly)#whennn WHENN will someone hug me and put a hand on my back and shush me and tell me im ok and to breathe and relax when will it be my turn#(never is the answer actualy bc in the physical space i am terrified of people and letting them In My Brain . actually#its ok here tho bc like . there's space u feel me like. theres distance#ne way this blog is my diary and i can say whateva the fukc i want !! yeah!!
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finally finished the remake 😞 23 hours because i’m a coward
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#୨ ꨄ︎ ྀི babbling ୧#i got the leave ending…i wanted the mary one though#so i’m definitely replaying idc#i guess i did heal a lot?? but i looked at all the other requirements and the way i played didn’t really match to the leave ending idk#i think i messed up on the apple part too#i put in a ripe one instead of the rotten because i didn’t even know there was a rotten one until i watched someone play through it#and i was scared i’d get the maria ending (also want it but after)#in a puddle of tears either way oh my god the letter made me bawl just like in the og#the double pyramid head fight was sooo cool and the maria one too THE THREE STAGES YEAHH#the basement part with the mandarin was scary though#was there a way to get the hospital recording between james and the doctor? or is it just not in the remake#maybe i missed it
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pretty much found out my worries and suspicions were correct and my childhood best friend is in an emotionally absuvie relationship and i feel like im gonna hulk out. or im gonna bust into his apartment like the kool-aid man holy shit
#abuse tw#i guess??#i am between enraged and bawling my eyes out#i feel guilty that if i had stayed in his life after high school maybe it couldve been different but thats dumb#we sort of had a falling out at the end of high school just from being teenagers and maturity levels and probable neurodivergrncy#but his family and my family are friends and we reconnected relatively recently#god he doesnt deserve this#im pretty sure i know he doesnt feel like he can do any better or find anyone else and it breaks my heart#hes grown up so much he has so much to offer and i hate he feels like that#i dont even know what im looking for here besides just putting these feelings somewhere besides inside me#i just want him to be ok and be happy and it doesnt seem like he is#no one fucking likes her and everyone thinks shes a walking red flag#i dont want to tet into it i feel like i blacked out everything his parents were telling me because all i could feel was red hot rage#i swear to whatever the fuck is out there please dont let this continue for him. please let one of us get through to him#fuck man
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youtube
In case you wanted to cry tonight
#David bowie#literally didn’t even make it a minute in before I started bawling#Maybe it’s just me though#Youtube
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So fucking sad that David Archuleta put his life on pause for some stupid missionary period taking two years when his career was literally shooting up (eventually killing it until it sizzled out), not to mention doing a whole PR manouver when he was "caught" in a gay bar from a grainy cctv screenshot (which is not a bad thing btw) but he ended up becoming a public queer ex-mormon anyway. All that effort and bullshit. Man. Imagine if he went ahead with his career in 2012-2014 instead, he might even come out earlier because 2013 was literally the gay coming out year. Can you imagine. Can you imagine how spoiled we would have been as an archie if he did that instead. CAN YOU IMAGINE.
#david archuleta#me#god sometimes i just wanna fucking bawl out so bad for him he got is sooooo good back then#i still listen to his new music but like it's just not hitting the same#he was literally my biggest music motivation until i started learning piano and writing my own songs more professionally#biggest motivation to learn english too bc he also vlogged back then#he was such a big BIG part of my life and i still have the deluxe versions of his first two albums#i mean maybe it's fate because this is when i pivoted to loving dan and phil but still#idk man all the things that could have been with this man#i even still read his autobiography chords of strength sometimes#anyway if you can't tell yes I'm listening The Other Side of Down on repeat now#and having so many feelings about it#i still have dream of being able to see him live but i mean come on there is no way he can ever tour internationally again
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