#maybe even bawl
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buck is actually the most bisexual person to ever exist methinks…doesn’t even matter if they make it canon because LOOK AT HIM…listen to the words he says and you tell me that’s not a bisexual
#911 abc#evan buck buckely#evan buckley#anyway#that being said if they DO make it canon i will cry 100%#sob actually#maybe even bawl#i’ve already started tearing up just thinking about it so pray for me… keep your fingers crossed#kiss a crystal#what have you
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Desi culture is bawling your eyes out discreetly in a room or bathroom and then coming out as if nothing happened...
And then proceeding to eat food too!!
#like literally tell me why i just bawled my eyes out and then my mum didn't even notice#or maybe she didn't wanan talk#desi teen#desi shit posting#desiblr
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niche hc but when Neil is having a Learn Every Language In The World day, he’s just being annoying with Andrew and going through every European language and stopping to google a few phrases before moving on. Eventually he gets to Ireland and Kevin’s not really paying any attention to him until Neil says a word like ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ and he freezes up in the corner of the room.
Andrew notices straight away obviously and stops Neil but then Kevin just starts to cry.
When Kevin’s mother was alive she would call him pet names in Irish, and use some Irish words sporadically here and there when she was speaking, like most Irish people do, and he hasn’t heard anyone speaking Irish since she passed away. Thank you is one of those phrases that a lot of Irish people use day to day just to keep the language alive, and it was always one of those things she made him say as a younger kid to help her feel close to home.
Nobody really knows what to do, and he’s not sure whether he’s happy or sad or both or neither, but just hearing the language out loud causes such a visceral reaction for him that he can’t help it. It’s the first time in a while he’s caught himself thinking, I miss my mom.
#maybe he goes over to David’s to talk about her for a little bit#and he asks Kevin what brought this all on#and when he says it was because Neil spoke Irish Wymack just laughs#and tries to remember what she used to call Kevin#mo chuisle (literally meaning my pulse or the love of my heart) was one she used to call Kevin#and even though he butchers the pronunciation it still makes Kevin bawl like a baby because he’d really forgotten so much about his mom#anyways#silly stuff#aftg#tfc#Kevin day#Andrew minyard#Neil josten#not gonna be the pretentious Irish person who put the gaeilge in the post but
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TW!mentioned pet death, very briefly mentioned current war in Ukraine
So. I had a cat. Like, we actually had multiple cats in the family, but the previous ones were when I was too little to remember, and then as I was like around 12 I think mum allowed to have a new kitten. Her name was Шуша (Shushah) like an alien little critter from Kir Bulychev's books (a big soviet sci-fi writer). She was a Russian Blue cat, but a little mixed, so she was grey but with yellow eyes. I would write more about her but I can't really handle it rn. She was a lovely kitty.
Cancer took her July 10th last year. She was a few months short from being 10 yo. I don't give any fucks whether it's long or short for a cat.
Here's a thing I wrote the day she went on, I'm not translating it into English but if you wanna learn a few things about her, you can copy paste it in google translator.
Сегодня умерла моя кошка Шуша. Её звали в честь зверька из книг Кира Булычёва, хотя она не умела включать мультики, и я её очень сильно люблю. Она любила яичницу с помидорами, кукурузу из банки, круассаны и вонючую кошачью еду, а ещё гоняла по полу соломинки для коктейлей и боялась трясогузок. Ещё она любила лечь прямо поверх рук, когда я занимался уроками, а последнее время - когда её чухали за животик, обязательно приговаривая вслух "чуха-чуха", иначе ей не нравилось. Ещё она любила пение горбатых китов, скрипку и некоторую тяжёлую электронику, никогда толком не кусала еду, просто слизывая её с тарелки, и один раз прошлась по клавиатуре компьютера моей сестры так, что открыла код какого-то закрытого, почти секретного американского сайта. Я нарисовал её не в полную длину, потому что когда она делала потягушечки как следует, она могла занять целую кровать, а так мне оставалась хотя бы одна треть. Вы её не знали, но если вдруг вы сегодня будете есть что-то из её любимой еды, пожелайте ей хорошо добраться, на коленях доброго бога её уже ждут, чтобы почесать за ушком.
My dad is living in Yerevan now, because he had to leave our country to avoid the obligatory draft cuz of course he is not going to kill Ukrainian people, that's literally half of our family. So. Yerevan is a very stray anmals filled city. Mostly dogs, but cats too.
And just now dad sent into our family group chat some vids and pics of a stray cat that snuck into his apartment and is currently snacking on some cat food dad has since my last visit to him (I was feeding stray animals cuz it was winter).
My point is, that kitty that has occupied dad's dingy apartment, is grey with yellow eyes.
#i literally cannot think calmly about Shusha till this day#i am very bad with grief and i had only a few close beings (pets or people) die and i haven't gotten over any of those losses#but this just fucked me up on a whole another level#because i don't know if that's our kitty that decided to come back to us for another life#or just a coincidence#or maybe the pictures don't even show her fur and eye colour right#all i know is i am fucking bawling my eyes out just as much as the day my cat moved on in the great cycle#sometimes i don't really know what's the point in going on if she's not here#in this family which i don't even have a bad family but i'm just not really fitting in#in this family she was the closest one i had#i fucking miss her#juju's grumbles
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Omg how funny would it be if like, the end-credits scene for Ahsoka was Ezra going to visit Zeb because Filoni if you don't give me the brothers reunited I swear and they're catching up outside the house and Zeb is like "yeah no my life's been pretty good, except Sasha can't grow a decent meiloorun" and the normal people will be like ooh, Sasha, who's she, wonder if she's pretty, and we're gonna be like hanging off the ceiling crying screaming throwing up bc Sasha? Sasha!?!?!! and then Kallus comes out the house and he's like "I heard you slandering my meilooruns Garazeb, they might look funny but they taste fine" and the crowd goes WILD
#and the normal people will be so confused#and I will laugh at their bewilderment whilst kicking my feets in the air and bawling like a whole BABY#I'm trying to find the best possible way they could canonize kalluzeb#if they even have zeb on it's looking kinda shady#but I think the end-credits scene would be a good way to do it if they insist on not putting him in the actual story#bc I want to know that he and Ezra get to see each other again maybe get a hug#and goshDARNit if they take kalluzeb away from me I will likely never get over it#anyway this is a top contender for sheer hilarity#kalluzeb#garazeb orrelios#zeb#alexsandr kallus#ahsoka show#ahsoka series#star wars#Ezra bridger#end-credits postulation#martianbugsbunny ships
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Thinking about Sabine waking up in the comm tower in the middle of the night and finding herself alone in bed and having a panic attack like “oh no oh no oh no oh no…it was all just a dream…Ahsoka and I never found Ezra…and I never told him I loved him…and we never got married…and our life together was just a haunting invention of my subconscious…”
…then the toilet flushes down the hall and Ezra stumbles out of the refresher in his little orange sleep shorts and flops back into bed beside her and passes out immediately while Sabine is still trying to get over her emotional whiplash.
#ok but waking up from a really vivid dream and not being sure what’s real for a few seconds#that’s actually terrifying#so I can imagine Sabine has to deal with this a lot#she’s in the habit of reaching out to touch Ezra’s beard to anchor herself in the present#but sometimes he’s off taking a tinkle or grabbing a midnight snack#and Sabine will get up and go looking for him and not go back to bed until he comes with her#maybe Ezra starts carrying her around with him when he gets up?#“welp it’s 3 AM and I really gotta go pee…better throw my sleeping wife over my shoulder so she doesn’t wake up alone and start bawling”#I love Sabezra so much because I’m not even sure that’s crack for them#they’re partners who would literally do anything for each other#sabezra headcanons#sabezra#sabine wren#ezra bridger
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have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!
(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#levi's ted talks#the most recent seasons ive rewatched r hunted and sog and theyre still as good and thrilling as when i first watched#a little of s1 too#i put it down there bc the writing was kinda weird BUT it was the starting point of ninjago so im never hating on it#plus the memorable moments like goddamn#i constantly rewatch s13 i love it too much#i cant bring myself to rewatch seabound bcaause knowing whats gonna happen next is so fucking PAINFUL 😭#even tho im an angst lover the fucking seperation makes me bawl#my friend literally couldnt talk to me for a few days bc of the shock from the ending when it first came out#and to be completely honest DR is what got me fully back into the ninjago fandom#like id reblog posts n whatever but wasnt so involved#and id just rant with my friend abt it#but then when DR's release was announced i made my first post for it#(a redraw for an incorrect quote post: dig in my art tag and youll maybe find it . but beware)#and now im here with so many moots#art improvement and 3 fics and more coming aswell#how the fuck
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getting hit with the "feeling touch starved need to be Held" curse so hard like there is an evil wizard somewhere who hath set a hex upon me for all time . the only cure for such a powerful curse is like maybe a hug perchance
#boys who need like a hug So Bad. not even like touch in a s*xy way at this point im sure but maybe just little a hug#or maybe a hand hold i thjnk a hug would be maybe too much for me at once. maybe a hand hold... maybe a hand touch first we can work up 2 it#there is a BITCH ASS WIZARD and he cast CURSE OF TOUCH STARVED so bad i am shaking and curling up in a bawl. bawling even (not rlly)#whennn WHENN will someone hug me and put a hand on my back and shush me and tell me im ok and to breathe and relax when will it be my turn#(never is the answer actualy bc in the physical space i am terrified of people and letting them In My Brain . actually#its ok here tho bc like . there's space u feel me like. theres distance#ne way this blog is my diary and i can say whateva the fukc i want !! yeah!!
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So fucking sad that David Archuleta put his life on pause for some stupid missionary period taking two years when his career was literally shooting up (eventually killing it until it sizzled out), not to mention doing a whole PR manouver when he was "caught" in a gay bar from a grainy cctv screenshot (which is not a bad thing btw) but he ended up becoming a public queer ex-mormon anyway. All that effort and bullshit. Man. Imagine if he went ahead with his career in 2012-2014 instead, he might even come out earlier because 2013 was literally the gay coming out year. Can you imagine. Can you imagine how spoiled we would have been as an archie if he did that instead. CAN YOU IMAGINE.
#david archuleta#me#god sometimes i just wanna fucking bawl out so bad for him he got is sooooo good back then#i still listen to his new music but like it's just not hitting the same#he was literally my biggest music motivation until i started learning piano and writing my own songs more professionally#biggest motivation to learn english too bc he also vlogged back then#he was such a big BIG part of my life and i still have the deluxe versions of his first two albums#i mean maybe it's fate because this is when i pivoted to loving dan and phil but still#idk man all the things that could have been with this man#i even still read his autobiography chords of strength sometimes#anyway if you can't tell yes I'm listening The Other Side of Down on repeat now#and having so many feelings about it#i still have dream of being able to see him live but i mean come on there is no way he can ever tour internationally again
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Someone help. I need desperate help with drawing hands
...
"It doesn't even look like a hand"
I know I'm trying ok 😭
Does anyone have an idea of making this sketch more accurate? I'm not too sure what to do on making it more, uh hand like, yk?
I'm gonna regret posting this ain't I
Probably
Edit: suddgested by some people on discord to make the wrist thinner
#help pls#im just happy i can finally draw somewhat of a hand#this is one of my first attempts so excuses the mess#if anyone i follow see this. im going to bawl my eyes out and curl up in the corner and cry more#yk that feeling when you post some art that isnt good and then an artist you follow sees it#yeah that one#i swear i cant even post on here anymore becauseni get so embarrassed by how slow my progress has been 😭#this is a attempt and it has failed me once again#but hey atleast ive gottan slightly better? ish maybe idk 🤷♀️#beginner artist
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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Hey guys got my first ending in ac6, spoilers ahead btw.
Now first
WALTER IM SO SORRY I WISH I HAD KNOWN IM WEEPING AGAIN BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD AND THEN I HAD TO KILL HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM CRYING OVER MECH GAME AND THE DUDE WHI TREATED ME LIKE A DOG BUT IN THE END I WAS HIS FRIEND FUCKIN KILL ME AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG
Second: fuck you snail im happy you're dead you sleazy Balteus usin lil shithead.
Thrid:
IM SORRY CLARA ALSO CHATTY IM SORRY FOR KILLING CARLA
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the boys' first commentary on keating's lessons being cameron and neil saying 'that was weird' / 'but different' is getting to me like the entire film is a narrative on the suffocation of heavy academia and how it prioritises certain subjects (medicine, law, business, engineering) while condemning creativity and passion and how institutions are promoting conformity and grades-over-wellbeing teaching methods more and more as you both move up the elitism scale and as time goes on, and how that was okay for these kids and like so many generations before them they were going to let it happen to them, but one teacher was different. one single teacher told them to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary and he made them look directly at the state of things, and for a little while it was beautiful but they're just kids; how could they ever change things? and sure enough it catches up to them and the institution wins because it always does and suddenly the suffocating thought of what neil is so sure his life is going to be is so daunting and terrifying that he cant even face it
#he's just like me fr just without the gun#like yeah the world is actually a harrowing monotonous place and my generation is the last one to play outside as children#and if you dont chase a certain career path or excel in certain subjects then you're deemed inherently lesser#and your success is measured by your bank account and there is no warmth#like damn this film realeased in the 80s and set in the 50s had no business capturing the terror of being young in our society so perfectly#the ONLY saving grace is the 'o captain my captain' scene at the end#it's proof that the beautiful passion-filled independent lives the boys dreamed about#dont just become food for worms and we dont just go right back to the beginning#there's hope at least even if half the time im too busy BAWLING MY FUCKING EYES OUT to even see the screen at that point#godddd girl watching this doing an 'academic subject' that you despise and on bad days think might be the thing to beat you#but you do it anyway bc you're stuck now and besides your parents kinda made you do it when all you ever wanted to do was write#but that cant happen bc writing isnt 'good' the way economics is 'good' and maybe#maybe all that'll happen is i'll lose and start a career in business and work an office job for two decades#in a world that's melting and owned by corporations that want to bleed me dry#maybe that's all there is#i need a fucking cigarette#dps
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So what song is Crowley listening to while sobbing in the Bentley?
#I've queued a post that says it's fleetwood mac#and another that says it's love of my life#and I've also seen people saying it's Pale Blue Eyes by thr Velvet Underground#which I've never heard but I guess I'll be listening to on my drive from work#anyway someone should make a playlist#it's not even a breakup playlist it's a playlist specifically for bawling your eyes out in your 90 year old car#that maybe turns yellow to further torture u/bc it's also sad#also i feel like Aziraphale COULD like the Velvet Underground??#the two whole songs I've heard by them are so mellow!#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens#edit: apparently pale blue eyes is a song Neil Gaiman suggested as one Crowley likes to listen to
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quill thrown into modern day after being trapped for a century would fuck them up so badly. but also they would get to see how much space travel has changed and grown with a new era of technological advances we made to help guide us through the depths of space. and to know we still look for life in the big wide universe and that we reached out and we made it to the stars. and they would cry.
#oc tag#<- tag to block to avoid oc talking btw#I can’t draw my ocs rn but I’m having too many thoughts and they gotta go somewhere#god don’t even mention laika to them they would bawl their eyes out fr#I need to expand more of their minor interests maybe I’ll make a fun chart of various tiny info on my guys#quill loves astronomy and if they weren’t so dedicated to being an attorney#they would have been in the astronomy pathway. dude fucking loves space.
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I feel like whatever was going on with majima/mirei/katsuya in the early 90s was some sort of complicated bisexual love triangle situation. like majima is majima and katsuya’s handsome and eloquent and absolutely doesn’t seem straight to me, but on top of that it feels like there was some sort of confusing tension between katsuya and mirei, not sure if it was romantic or one-sided or what but. SOMETHING. I don’t know what the hell was going on with those three really but no way in hell do I believe the romantic/sexual/??? depth ends with majima and mirei
#katsuya is HANDSOME and CHARMING and ELOQUENT. I just KNOW at least one of them was into him. probably both#one way I’m imagining it could’ve went is like#katsuya introduces majima and mirei to one another and mirei crushes on him pretty quick (because she is 19 and quick to do so)#majima doesn’t really particularly have an interest in her- not cause she’s unattractive or anything probably mostly because she’s almost a#because she’s almost a decade younger than him and barely legal. but at some point she confides in katsuya about her feelings for him and#katsuya being the sweet and honorable kinda dude he is acts as a wingman and tries to get majima to go out with her#and eventually majima relents because he doesn’t want to end up admitting to katsuya that he actually had a thing for KATSUYA#and by playing wingman for his good friend mirei majima takes it as him being uninterested and thus doesn’t shoot his shot and yeah#katsuya’s hard to say no to and hey I mean maybe mirei- a civilian- will make his life more capable of Normalcy#she’s conventionally attractive and is a decent enough friend- albeit he didn’t really know what she was like as a person before she was#crushing on him and also. again. she’s 19 and an idol. so inevitably her identity in general is NOT solid yet#almost as if rebounding off a relationship he never even Got- things move insanely quickly with mirei and they’re married in less than a#year. the whole time katsuya is there cheering them on- he’s smart and I think he’d see the red flags when it comes to their ages and#maturity at least but I think that’d become more apparent over time and he’d start to have regrets but#it’s way too late for that. especially when she comes to him bawling her eyes out because she’s found out she’s pregnant and she has no#idea what to do. both for her career and because she’s literally barely an adult she doesn’t want a child at that point but obviously she#knows she’ll feel guilty and- more than that- deep shame for terminating. she’s insightful even at that age and also maybe can read majima#well enough to know that he might take her abortion as a sign for him to book it to no longer cause her anymore issues. katsuya reassures#her cause what else is he gonna do. but of course she’s right and his commitment issues kick in big time and yeah. over the years katsuya’s#the in-between still close with both of them. specifically he’s closer with mirei and they trust one another a lot more than majima with#either of them- just because majima’s Like That and his trust issues create distance easily. nonetheless at some point majima asks him if#he’s been single for so long because he was hung up on mirei and apologizes if he got in the way of them and that leads into some really#long overdue admissions and likely hooking up. but of course majima is STILL majima and again kinda books it because feelings are#inconvenient and their time for something like a relationship has passed (or something like that).#mirei often wonders if things would’ve been better if she’d have ended up with katsuya instead but similar to majima she’s career-focused#now and just wants to value him as a friend regardless of any lingering potential feelings. majima ends up falling hard for kiryu#sooner than later and life just moves on from any romanticism beteeen the three of them- a nostalgic closeness lingers instead#rambling#that was. a lot.
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