#the credits rolled and i watched them go by instead of getting on tumblr right away

[ibrokeeverything]

Please go watch Flow (2024), also known as Straume, at your earliest convenience. It is one of the single most beautiful movies I've ever seen in my life, yes visually, but especially emotionally, and I can't recommend it highly enough. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if it's your type of movie, it will absolutely be worth your time.

[sitron-sunni]

I watched the new episode of 9-1-1

a personal essay on queerbaiting (sorta)

I watched the new episode of 9-1-1, and immediately burst into tears as the credits started rolling.

Then I rewound the last six minutes, and watched the scene again, pausing to rewind the kiss. Again. And again. And again.

We got a kiss. I didn’t know we were getting a kiss. I sorta knew we were getting bi Buck, but I didn’t know we were getting a kiss. After last week’s episode, a lot of people were 100% convinced we were getting bi Buck. I saw their reactions before I watched that episode, too, and I was so confused once I finished it. Had we seen the same episode? That guy, Tommy, Buck’s so-called bisexual awakening-guy, was barely in there. He had about two memorable lines, and then he was in the background of a different shot, where he received a job-well-done slap on the shoulder from Buckley. That last one’s the one people were focusing on online. Look at the way this is framed, look at how he’s positioned, between Buck and Eddie. This is foreshadowing how he’s gonna get between them. Buck and Tommy is gonna be the gateway into buddie. They’re actually gonna do buddie, why else would they introduce a relationship between Buck and Tommy?

Reader, I’ll keep it straight with you. I did not believe them. After a while I gathered a lot of people already knew the name of the next episode; Buck, Bothered and Bewildered. They’d seen some stills, they knew there would be conflict and jealousy within that trio. They were putting it all together with comments and hints dropped by the actors. All those things added up, and it did paint a far more convincing picture. And I thought it was fun! I reblogged a few posts about it, I think, or at least I liked some. But the fact remains: I did not believe them. I thought, oh, imagine how cool it would be if they actually went there. I thought, yeah, realistically it would make sense to bring in a third person if they were actually gonna do it. That way they could test the waters, gauge audience response, and it could work as a catalyst for the relationship after so long. But mostly I thought Okay, so they’re gonna bring in Buck’s fear of not being enough for the people he loves again, this time through his friendship with Eddie, and we’re gonna get some sort of final resolution for that. Like, a big moment of catharsis. Or something along those lines, anyway. It just seemed to me like the most realistic thing that could happen. I mean, the idea of canon buddie was nice, of course it was! The queerbait is why I started watching the show in the first place: I wanted a good queerbait! But ultimately, a ship like that going canon was completely unrealistic. I speak from experience, after all.

Maybe it would’ve been different if I was younger. I remember being in fandoms when I was a teen. I remember reading theories, watching youtube-videos with “proof” that this or that was real, that it was gonna go canon. I remember getting my hopes up, thinking Oh my god what if they’re actually gonna do it!? for shows and pairings that, in hindsight, were completely unrealistic. Maybe that’s why I, even with fairly good evidence in front of me, didn’t actually get my hopes up this time. Because why be that stupid? Why invest emotionally like that? Why not just enjoy what we actually had instead, and then get anything extra from fanworks? Haven’t we learned by now?

I woke up this morning and opened tumblr, and I read half a sentence about how we actually have bisexual Buck confirmed canon now, before I quickly closed the app to avoid too detailed spoilers. Oh my god they were right! I can’t wait to watch the episode, I thought happily, and went on with my day. I opened the app again a few hours later, and scrolled for a few minutes, until I saw a brief glimpse of one, maybe one and a half gifs. Bucks face, Tommy’s face. Warm orange-y yellow lighting, Buck’s loft, you still owe me a beer. Close the app, move on. There were other posts throughout the day, more glimpses, all along the same lines as the first one. The last one came late in the evening, this time on twitter. Just the word in all caps; ANNOUNCEMENT, and then Bucks face and a bisexual pride flag.

And then finally, finally, after I’d brushed my teeth and gotten into bed, I was alone with my laptop, and I could watch the episode. The hype had built up, I was so excited to finally watch it. I was internally vibrating just a little bit. I was giggly, I was grinning widely, I was making comments to myself out loud, and laughing. I said oh my god, they’re really laying it on thick. I remember watching that scene for the first time and thinking how Tommy really looked so nervous at some points. That last one I found interesting. I really liked the actor’s portrayal; His facial expressions were quite subtle, and I thought he captured that nervous feeling so well. Maybe I took such notice of it because, well, I wasn’t quite expecting it.

I wasn’t expecting nervousness in an interaction between Buck and Tommy, because I still wasn’t actually expecting anything. At least I don’t think I was. Even with everything I’d seen online. Even as I was watching the show, I convinced myself. Those words, you still owe me a beer, they’ve misinterpreted them. They think it’s an invitation to a date because Buck’s jealousy in this episode is making it more plausible than ever before. Sure, the show’s leaning into it this time, but they’re gonna pull the rug out next episode. No, of course it wasn’t an invite to a date, what show were you watching, are you delusional? It’s just gonna be one week of people speculating and theorizing and building it up, and then the show’s gonna resolve it with some no-homo followed by a nice new buddie moment. The buzz will die down, and things will go back to normal.

And then the kiss happened. And then I burst into tears.

And now I think, oh my god isn’t it wild that they’re introducing a new romantic relationship for one of the main characters, and for the entire lead-up to the relationship, both Buck and Tommy are entirely focused on Eddie? Like, they’re just making everything about a third person! Imagine if they did this for anybody else! and, oh my god Tommy’s gonna break up with Buck because Buck’s basically already dating Eddie or something, isn’t he? and, oh my god it’s gonna be glorious! and, oh my god I can’t wait!

And I’m also thinking, I was wrong, and you were right. And I’m so happy I could cry.

TL;DR: If you and I share sterek, or destiel, or god knows what other similarly-shaped trauma, 9-1-1 might heal ya.

[elliethejellie]

Mirror - Promptober Day 14

A Collaborative Piece - Read Sun's Part (written by @scarfgremlin on Tumblr aka @/rollinginmud on Discord) on Tumblr or Google Docs

Read Moon's Part on Docs or Under the Cut! WC: 3.3k

Warnings for mentions of death, blood, panicking, anxiety, trauma, derealization, mild violence, and excessive amounts of fear. NOT A HAPPY ENDING.

**********

If anyone would have tried to convince you a few years ago that there would be calm evenings spent watching movies with the lunar animatronic you had grown attached to and had moved in with you, you wouldn't have believed them. 

Although, "moved in with you" was definitely up for interpretation. As far as Fazco was concerned, you had stolen him. But there was absolutely no way you were just going to leave him in the Pizzaplex after everything he was forced to go through.

Getting used to your apartment and the lack of noises that came with it took quite a long time. There were still days he would want nothing to do with being awake - opting instead for cozying up in your shared bed long after the sun had risen. When you would finally drag him out from under the covers, he would hide from the streaks of sunlight and stare a little too long through the windows at the outside world. He despised the color red - and loud, high pitched sounds would make him jump. But on the flip side, he couldn’t stand the silence. The first few nights, you didn't quite understand why he was so... distant. Sun wasn't... there anymore. He vanished along with whatever took hold of their shared system during their life in the Pizzaplex.

Realization dawned on you later that Moon had felt guilty for the events that took place in his old life. Although Sun wasn't there to torment him by constantly reminding him of the horrid things he did while under the influence of the virus, there were bits and pieces that would resurface in his mind and draw out complicated emotions he didn't want to deal with. He spent the majority of the time since his freedom started just trying to make sense of the silence that filled his mind. Between Sun's insistence that everything was his fault and the nagging voice from the virus - he was so used to everything always being so loud.

Music had become a rather large solution for him. You showed him everything you could think of - from your absolute favorites to the worst songs in existence. It was after you showed him how to play music on every device in your condo that things finally started to change for the better. It still took a long while after that to get to the progress he was at now, but it was worth it.

You shrieked, tucking your head behind your hands and into Moon's chest as he chuckled gently from above you. "Did it really scare you that bad?" he asked, wrapping his arms around you as if shielding you from the movie himself. You nodded into him as you peaked out from behind your fingers to peer at the screen again. Another jumpscare sent you leaning further into Moon as he just laughed. 

After a while, you gave up on watching - opting instead for playing with the ribbons tied to Moon's wrist. He mumbled about the main character walking into a room that would obviously get him killed - pointing out all the little details as to why it was a stupid idea and laughing again when he was right. Eventually, he seemed to realize that you were no longer watching and shuffled so you could better snuggle into him. One of his hands rested on your leg while the other rubbed soothing patterns on your arm - drawing a yawn from you.

The next thing you knew, Moon was gently shaking you awake as the credits rolled on the screen. "Oh god, I'm sorry," you mumbled sleepily. Moon immediately stopped you, sitting you up so he could look at you properly.

"Don't. I know horror movies aren't really your thing," he assured, reaching over and grabbing up one of your dinner dishes. "Besides, we ought to start cleaning up so you can get to bed."

A groan fell from your lips as you rubbed your eye. But you stood up and followed him to the kitchen anyways. Moon didn't hesitate to shuffle a random playlist of songs on the Alexa in the room - immediately filling the silence. 

After a few minutes, the two of you hummed and sang along to the music as you fell into the rhythm of cleaning the room. You brought in all the dirty dishes from around the condo while Moon began washing the ones that were already in the sink. Then he handed them to you so you could dry and put them away. 

Before you knew it, the two of you had the dishes finished, and Moon dried his hands on the hand towel hanging from the oven door.

"You," he said, poking your nose playfully. "Need to head upstairs and brush your teeth, Starlight." You opened your mouth to protest but as soon as your eyes caught his expectant gaze, you promptly shut it. He wasn't asking.

"Fiiiine," you sighed, handing him the towel you had been using to dry the dishes. "But hurry upstairs, okay?" He gave you a playful smirk, pinching your side so you hopped out of the kitchen giggling before running up the stairs.

After he was sure that you were in the bathroom, Moon exhaled. He turned the volume on the music up higher to dissipate any possibilities of the quiet space sending a shiver down his spine. The looming emptiness of the living room still hovered in his mind as he wiped the last of the crumbs from the counters.

With one last glance over the space, he finally flipped the lights off and stared at the Alexa - tuning in to the song that was playing. It was one of the first songs you had ever shown him. A warm feeling spread throughout Moon's body as he finally told the Alexa to stop playing the music.

And then he hurried up the stairs to join you in the bathroom.

"Moonie-!" you exclaimed, the two syllables disrupted from the toothbrush still lodged in your mouth - but happily nonetheless. Moon chuckled and slinked up behind you - wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his faceplate into the back of your head. You leaned into his embrace as a giggle bubbled up in your throat.

"Moonie, huh?"

The lunar animatronic finally brought his head up to look at you in the mirror, but his entire body tensed. You blinked at his reflection - confusion drawing your brows together as you pulled the toothbrush from your mouth. 

"Moon? Are you okay?" you asked. He unraveled his arms from around your waist, but never brought his gaze away from the mirror. You spun around to look at him and reached your free hand out to gently caress his face, but he flinched away from your touch.

"S-Starlight," he stuttered. He shook his head and brought his hand up to grab yours while letting off a strained chuckle. "I-I just- Thought I heard something, is all." He dropped your hand and backed another step away from you, retreating into himself suddenly. "Must've been the neighbors or something..." His voice was quiet like usual, but you knew him far too well to think nothing of the edge to his tone. Though, if he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him. So you nodded slowly and turned back to the sink to continue your nightly routine.

Moon tried to fight the urge to look back up at the mirror. Excuses ran through his brain. It was too quiet in here, that must be it. And his battery! It had to be low. Why else would he be shaking? He wasn't seeing anything in the mirror. It was just that his battery was low. All would fix itself after a long night of sleep. It was just his battery. But as Moon looked up into the mirror, he knew it wasn't true.

"Still lying to yourself with that one, are we, Moonie?"

If he had a heart it would have stopped.

If he had blood it would have run cold.

Sun.

The sound of you sputtering reached his ears. Did he say that out loud?

"M-Moon?" you said - suddenly right by his side. Worry was woven into your voice as you lifted your hand once again to touch him, but you paused midair as you remembered his earlier reaction. "Are you sure you're okay?" You could hear the sound of his internal fans kicking on, but he didn't turn when he responded to you.

"It's nothing, Starlight," he whispered. Static filled his voice as he forced himself to step forwards and place his hands on the edge of the wooden countertop. But his grip was too tight - the sound of splintering wood filled the silence within the small space. "I'm alright."

You knew he wasn't. He couldn't be.

Not with how intensely he stared at the mirror.

Not with how aggressively his body was being overcome with tremors.

But still, you gulped and nodded once more. "Okay," you said hesitantly, bringing the toothbrush back to your mouth. You stared at the tile floor as your mind raced with the possibilities of what could possibly be wrong. You had been making so much progress with him. Why was he shutting down suddenly?

"Aw, look at that. It's been how long, and you're still pushing everyone away~"

Sun's voice was characteristically cheery - sweet enough to be rotten. It made Moon's simulated breath hitch - his wires coming alive with anxiety and panic as his eyes flashed warnings of his systems overheating. He desperately clenched the edge of the countertop harder in a measly attempt to ground himself.

"Did you really think I would just forget?"

Moon let out a low growl, forcing his gaze from the mirror. He wasn't going to let his mind play tricks on him. Not again. 

Sun wasn't here. 

He was dead.

"Well that's no way to treat your brother, Moonie~"

A high pitched laugh reverberated through the lunar bot's mind - echoing and bouncing and haunting his every thought. But he tried his hardest to remember your words for these... episodes.

It wasn't real. None of it was real.

It was merely a ghost of his past. A trick of his coding. 

Sun wasn't here. This wasn't real.

He repeated the words in his head - slumping down until he rested his head on the edge of the sink. His fingers loosened their grip on the counter, and he finally let out a breath. He was just tired. The horror movie must have just put him on edge. A long charging session full of your sleepy cuddles would surely solve the issues. You always solved his issues.

"Don't you think that's a bit unfair of you?" Sun lilted. Moon slowly lifted his head back up as his solar opposite continued, entire body trembling with anger now. "You just dump all of your problems on them when they already have so much they have to deal with. Just like you did with me." The lunar bot growled again, shaking his head as he stared into Sun's hauntingly blank eyes. "I always had to clean up your messes. You were the one to ruin everything."

"That's not true," Moon whispered, fingers gripping at the splintering wood once more. His anger was slowly slipping - turning back into the sickening guilt he so loathed. Memories he tried to bury flashed in his vision until he was seeing red.

Red - and the ominous, taunting smile of his yellow reflection.

You stumbled towards Moon, trying to get his attention as panic clouded your expression. But your voice was distant - a whisper being drowned out by the loudness of terrified screams and the gut-wrenching sound of snapping bones. Your gentle touch was like fire on his arm - the flaming hot memory of a child's grip searing through his wires.

"And she doesn't even know what you did, does she?" Sun continued, head listing to the side and casting an eerie shadow upon his friendly features. "But I do, dearest brother. I remember every last smiling face you took from the daycare. Took from me." Moon backed away from the mirror, bringing his hands to his head as he saw the faces of children he'd hurt. 

No, he didn't hurt them. 

That wasn't him.

"But wasn't it?"

"It wasn't me," he repeated out loud. A question left your lips as you tried desperately to understand what Moon was talking about. But it was no use. He couldn't hear you.

"Emily." The smiling face of a young girl with blonde pigtails appeared before his eyes.

"N-No-"

"Jeremiah." A boy with red hair and freckles and glasses sat with a plush.

"It wasn't-"

"Addalyn." A loud troublemaker with a knack for screaming when she was excited.

"I-I didn't do it-"

"Or what about poor little Rosalie?" Moon's body froze. "You were her favorite, were you not? She trusted you. Even in her last moments, she looked up at you with a look of pure trust behind her fear-"

Moon's body was shaking now. His hands were clawing at his face as he tried with pure desperation to get the memories to stop. To get Sun to stop. Your voice was calling his name just as desperately now, fear wrapping its claws around your heart as you watched Moon speak nonsense to himself.

"You really haven't changed one bit, have you, Moonie?" Sun continued. Suddenly the safety of the bathroom disappeared from around him and he was back in the daycare - the normally cheery song playing endlessly from above slowed down to an unnerving pace. 

"Do you remember it, brother? Do you remember the feeling of their small arms between your hands?" He looked down at his fingers, reeling at the sight of the deep red covering every inch of his lower half. The state of his nails made his insides writhe - strands of dark hair and flaking blood stuck to them. He backed away, trying to put as much distance between himself and Sun as he could. He collided with something behind him and the sound of something hitting the tile floor and shattering reached his ears. 

But the floor wasn't tile. It was padded. Where was he? What had he hit?

"Fragile little humans - isn't that what you always called them? Rulebreakers are easy to break. That's what you told me, right?" Sun purred, gesturing to the red mess that soaked the padded floor and pulling the lunar bot back to the present. He then crossed his arms and looked back up at Moon - smile deepening as he spoke his next words in that same sickly sweet tone.

"You'll always be a monster, Moonie~"

"No-" Moon whispered, bringing his hands back to his head as it screamed with pain. "No, no, no-" His body was shaking as sobs overtook him. He didn't mean to hurt them. He didn't want to hurt them. It wasn't his fault. 

Arms encompassed his body in a hug. He didn't have the state of mind to push them away as he leaned into the embrace and cried. He cried and cried and cried. He didn't know how long he did - just that he couldn't stop. Not until the same cheery voice continued.

"How long do you think it will be before you hurt your little starlight, hm?"

"W-What?" 

"It'll only be a matter of time, don't you think?" Sun asked, ignoring Moon's confusion. "Eventually you'll snap. And then you'll destroy them, right?" Moon looked up into Sun's blank eyes in fear, before shoving him away. 

No, he wouldn't hurt them.

"But wouldn't you? I mean, you said the same thing about Rosalie, right?"

No, he would never hurt his starlight-

"Can't you hear the sound of their screams already? Where do you think you'd start? Their arms?"

No-

"Their legs?"

No!

"Or what about..." Sun listed his head to the side again, smile deepening. "Their heart?"

"NO!"

Moon lurched forwards, claws bared as a wild snarl left his voicebox. Static filled his voice as his hand connected with the glass of the mirror - back in the bathroom once again. His head buzzed painfully as his vision flickered from normal to red to normal again for several seconds. The sound of his internal fans whirring and his processors humming reached his ears. His body felt both cold and hot at the same time. But-

...

Sun wasn't talking anymore.

Moon looked up. The hint of a smile graced his lips.

But it was wiped clean the second his eyes settled on your form - cowering away in the farthest corner of the bathroom.

You were trembling. Arms raised protectively above your face to shield you from the fallen glass shards. Wait-

A strangled noise left his chest as he noticed the pieces of mirror lying around him. He caught your eyes, and felt his entire body go rigid.

You looked downright terrified.

Moon's hand reached out to console you. He wanted to help. He needed to. You were scared. He could soothe you.

But you flinched, eyes widening as you stared at the glitching color of Moon's irises change from blue to red and back to blue again.

Several seconds passed. You didn't dare shift a muscle. Your head ached from the blood curdling scream Moon let out a few moments prior. You shuddered at the memory.

"S-Star...?" Moon reached for you again, holding his hand out in a silent offer. 

No, it was a desperate plea for you to take it. 

You couldn't be afraid of him, right? You had to have seen Sun, too- Or maybe you were just scared because of the glass. It couldn't be him. He- He didn't do anything wrong. He was just- He-

Moon's hand dropped silently back to his side as you stood - ignoring him completely. Your legs were trembling from adrenaline as you held onto the bathtub to keep yourself steady. 

"I- I need a moment," you whispered, the gentle tone not nearly as present as you intended it to be. Instead, your voice trembled just as bad as your body. You attempted to flash Moon a reassuring smile as his eyes settled on yours, but you couldn't manage that either. "S-See you later," you then mumbled, trying to reach out to him to seal your reassurance, but he flinched away from your touch.

Without another word, you scurried past him and rushed away to your room.

That dreadful, deafening silence filled the bathroom as Moon stared at the shards of glass on the floor. He flinched again as the sound of the bedroom door closing reached him.

...

Anger filled Moon's body as he took in the mess surrounding him. His hands clenched into fists as the image of your fear seared into his memory. 

He reached up and tugged at his face again - digging his nails into his nightcap and then his neck and finally scratching at the wires at the back of his head.

He ruined it.

He ruined everything.

Just like he always did.

He terrified you. 

The one thing he told himself he would never do.

His body shuddered as old protocols flashed in an overlay across his vision.

"Naughty, naughty," he mumbled, taking in the sight of the glass shards. It was everywhere - littering the floor of the bathroom like the plastic balls from the daycare. A familiar twitch in his fingers made him stand slowly.

"Rulebreakers... Clean up, clean up..." 

With practiced ease, Moon walked to the small closet within the bathroom to pull out the broom. He began cleaning the shards, barely hearing the sound of them clinking together as he hummed to himself to fill the silence. Distant echoes of a life long abandoned sounded in his head. 

Only as he stood straight to dispose of the glass shards did he pause, forcing his gaze to reach the broken mirror before him. His shattered reflection stared back at him - the dark tear streaks trailing from eyes down his faceplate reminding him of the staffbots he used to destroy...

Sun was right, wasn't he?

Moon closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his sunny counterpart greeted him from the mirror. Shattered and reflected several more times than before - his unchanging, haunting smile staring back in silence. Moon turned away and slowly made his way back down to the silent kitchen, not bothering to fill the silence with anything.

In the end, fear was all he could elicit from people.

[turtlethon]

Reflections & The Road Ahead

ABOVE: The Turtles make a promotional appearance in the UK, circa 1990. These puffy versions of the green teens showed up on TV and in the press often during Turtlemania, and resemble the characters as they were depicted on licensed Hero Turtles items during that era.

I’m old enough at this point to feel comfortable in saying that life is full of periods of awkward re-adjustment, where the world moves around you and it can take a while to find your bearings. You go to school for years and it feels like it’ll never end, then one day you’re just... done. A day job that perhaps you feel like you’ll be doing until you reach old age and keel over abruptly ends for whatever reason, and suddenly your routine is gone, leaving you wondering what to do with yourself. 

Years ago, on a whim, I made the decision to re-watch the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon from the beginning and live-tweet about it over on the birdsite. Things were stop-start in the beginning, but at some point during the pandemic the project began gathering momentum. The threads got longer, my need to point out every weird little thing that happens in any given Turtles episode outgrowing the format of a Twitter thread. And so, almost exactly two years ago, Turtlethon made the jump to Tumblr, and in short order the format for each entry began to take shape: a beat-for-beat walk through a single episode of TMNT, complete with screengrabs and the occasional video clip, and an analysis of why that particular adventure does (or doesn’t) land, typically 2,000 words in length, longer still if it’s really good – or exceptionally bad. 

In time, we settled into a routine: two new entries would appear every week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sticking with that turned out to be an undertaking that I vastly underestimated the scope of early on, and there were times where the obligation to write about, screencap, edit and post about Turtles became exhausting, but I didn’t want this to be a project I abandoned halfway through. It was of the utmost importance to me to persevere, to get to the end no matter what. 

Now that day has been and gone. We watched Splinter hurriedly declare the Turtles to be his equals, the credits rolled, and honestly it was all underwhelming. Upon further reflection, there’s no doubt there was more story to be told – there's no way Mung angrily telling Dregg he’d gone mad was the intended payoff to him getting pushed around all season – and presumably that’s something we would’ve seen followed up on had the show returned in 1997. But that’s not the world we live in, and so instead, we have to assess Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as it is: the 192 (or 193) adventures that were broadcast, which we can now observe as one overarching body of work. And I guess now all that’s left to ask is... what even was TMNT ‘87? Beyond the obvious and most cynical analysis – that it was initially an effort to promote a line of action figures, before becoming the heart of the Turtles business empire in its own right – what, if anything, was the series about? What was it trying to communicate to those of us who grew up watching it? 

Peel away that initial "toy cartoon" layer of interpretation, and the next observation is perhaps only slightly less world-weary: it’s about communicating the idea that the Turtles are cool, to create adventures that will be compelling to kids, ensure they keep coming back and hopefully convince them to explore the other facets of the franchise too. Early on, the show was successful in these respects commercially, but from a creative standpoint it took a while to find its feet. Through the first three years the Turtles were first and foremost a unit, rarely getting to venture beyond their respective descriptions in the theme song. Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines, Raphael is... not exactly rude but certainly quippy, and Michaelangelo is indeed a party dude, whose pizza fixation sometimes appears to reach “this guy genuinely has a problem” territory. (It’s remarkable how integral pizza is to the first seven seasons of the show, only for it to be abandoned completely in the Red Sky era: I’m sure there must have been a strict “NO PIZZA” edict handed down from S8 onward that explains why the series ended on an ill-fitting popcorn gag instead.) One of the common themes explored in the Turtlethon entries for the golden era episodes is that Shredder, Krang, Rocksteady & Bebop make the show work comedically in the early goings, in part because they’re allowed to be flawed and vulnerable: meanwhile the Turtles are constrained by that need to be super cool dudes, the world’s most fearsome fighting team. 

With the success of the show assured around season four, we finally begin to see a willingness to explore who the Turtles are beyond those base traits conveyed in the theme song. I’d argue that in this incarnation of the series, Leonardo is the member of the group whose personality adheres closest to what the team were when originally conceived for the Mirage comic: he’s a ninja first and foremost, even memorably declaring his intent to finish off Shredder in the first season. Season three’s “Take Me to Your Leader” explores how the burden of leadership weighs upon him but it’s the following year where he’s fully rounded out, the pros and cons of his overbearing strictness explored in “Leonardo Lightens Up”, while his competitive nature turns compulsive in “Leonardo Versus Tempestra”. More than anything, his role is to serve as an anchor, ensuring TMNT stays somewhere in the neighbourhood of being an action-adventure cartoon and doesn’t float off into complete tomfoolery. 

Raphael is the inverse of Leonardo, encompassing everything that makes the Fred Wolf TMNT what it is – for better or worse. He’s the goofball, the one typically given the task of breaking the fourth wall, and if anything is actively pushing against what Leo is here to achieve. With his incessant zingers, Raph is the embodiment of everything that purists who resent the show for not being a faithful recreation of the Mirage comic dislike about it, a situation exacerbated by the fact that the 1987 cartoon version of the character is such an outlier, eschewing the angry, brooding depiction of him seen almost everywhere else. This idea that there’s something inauthentic about Fred Wolf Raph is so pervasive that modern media and merchandise based around the MWS show often skews towards making him “the angry one” instead of the wise guy. It’s an unfortunate bit of revisionist history that loses sight of the fact that 1987 Raph is wildly popular, perhaps now more than ever. The fans who like him really like his witty retorts, outings such as his memorable romance with Mona Lisa, and the entertaining performances from Rob Paulsen that brought him to life. His value is in keeping things light, and in doing so he differentiates TMNT from the earnest action cartoons that preceded it. 

Okay, but if Raph is the fun one, where does that leave Michaelangelo? I’d argue that his depiction as the team’s “party dude” is merely window-dressing, a means to convey what makes him marketable but which doesn’t really get at what makes him tick, in part because as alluded to above, in the early days of the show none of this stuff had been thought out. Anyone watching seasons one, two and much of season three would be forgiven for seeing him as one-dimensional, the cowabunga guy. Pizza, pizza, pizza. Dude, dude, dude. These aspects of him can be... grating, to be certain, when watching the series as an adult. Eventually we start to occasionally see beyond this. There’s a sense that Mikey is the youngest member of the team, even if there’s nothing in the show itself directly confirming this: by extension he’s the most innocent, sensitive, and personable member of the group, the one who’d be most likely to befriend you and invite you into the Lair if you were to encounter him, rather than viewing you as a threat. Michaelangelo is both the most “human” Turtle and the one who displays the greatest longing to live as a human, something seen in episodes such as season three’s “The Gang’s All Here” and the following year’s “Poor Little Rich Turtle”. When it comes down to it, Mikey’s character is easy-going but more importantly, he’s kind. There’s an irony in him being the one whose weapons had to be excised from the show entirely, though if anything I think that only gave him a little renegade appeal over and above even the other Turtles. 

Donatello has always been my favourite Turtle, and not just for aesthetic reasons as “the purple one”: coming in from Ghostbusters as many of us did back in the day, I think it’s natural that if you were on Team Egon, you were likely to be Team Donnie, too. He's the most creative Turtle and arguably the most introspective, two qualities that also make me gravitate towards him. Putting my biases aside, he’s by far the most necessary member of the team for the series to work: his intelligence and ingenuity seem to almost always play into the climax of any episode as the Turtles scramble to stop whatever enormous threat is facing the city, and without him it’s inarguable that Leo, Mikey and Raph would have been majorly screwed countless times over the course of the show’s run. Around the mid-point of the series his accomplishments seem to go to his head, and his abilities make him vastly overpowered relative to the other Turtles. Despite this, Donnie remains the big purple cog that keeps TMNT ticking. 

The show upholds its four main characters above everything, even in situations where this becomes detrimental, and this goes hand in hand with a focus on immediacy: what anyone else is doing isn’t a concern unless it will impact the Turtles somehow, and nothing that’s happened to anyone in the past matters unless if affects the team in the present moment.  There’s an unspoken anxiety at work in TMNT that runs throughout the series, apparent even at its height: a fear that if the Turtles aren’t front and centre, chasing the macguffin of the day, then young viewers will grow bored and switch off. 

These considerations are apparent in the series from the outset, affecting even the origin of the Turtles themselves, who in this continuity go from pet turtles to their established forms in the space of seconds: they’re not allowed to grow into their teenage selves over the course of years for the same reason that only the most barebones information is conveyed to us about the Hamato Yoshi / Oroku Saki feud that led to their creation. This show isn’t about getting caught up in the details, it’s about the Turtles existing in the present moment. 

Yoshi and Saki’s ongoing rivalry is one of the most fascinating aspects of the entire series, and yet one barely explored because the show only cares about the elements of it directly relevant to the Turtles. At some unspecified point in the past Saki framed Yoshi and took control of the Foot Clan because... he was just naturally power-hungry and evil, I guess (later we learned that his mother was also villainous, so there might be something to that). There’s a huge chunk of the timeline which takes place after this of which we know little, covering Yoshi presumably stowing away on a boat and beginning a new life as a penniless refugee living in the sewers of New York. By all rights the story should end here, with Saki having vanquished his enemy and now ruling over his own turf as the head of a criminal organisation in Japan, but his inability to let go keeps things rolling: at some point he follows Yoshi to America, sets up an elaborate network to spy on him, and in a botched attempt to kill his enemy inadvertently mutates the four heroes who will ultimately be his undoing: Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello and Raphael. 

Oh, and along the way Saki happened to run into a disembodied alien warlord brain from Dimension X who had himself been on Earth for an unspecified amount of time, the two bad guys forming an alliance to achieve world domination. None of these events unfold on-screen as the Turtles weren’t involved: instead, Shredder and Krang arrive fully formed, how they met and the circumstances that led to them working together are deemed unimportant. Similarly, Splinter is a wise old man whose exact age is unclear, capable of applying mystical ninja abilities that vary depending on what the plot of the day requires. 

Given how scant the details of Splinter and Shredder’s feud were, it should perhaps come as no surprise that in the end, it was never resolved in any satisfactory fashion. By the end of the series Shredder and Krang were banished to another dimension by the Turtles for the umpteenth time, but the power struggle between Splinter and Shreds over the leadership of the Foot Clan that kicked all of this off doesn’t receive any closure; to make matters worse the final three appearances of Shredder and Krang tease the idea of them becoming... well maybe not good guys, but at the very least neutral figures having been overshadowed in the evil stakes by Dregg. I think by season ten, the viewers would have been ready for that: to have Shredder and Krang perform a heroic act to stop Dregg that definitively concludes their run on the show as villains, then let them ride off into the sunset. If we’re to assume there were plans for a twelfth season, there’s no reason that Karai or another villain new to the series couldn’t take their place. 

I’m going to skip over writing about Bebop and Rocksteady here as this post is long enough as it is, and I covered their contribution to the series in the entry for “Turtle Trek”. The only thing I would add is that if anyone was truly deserving of that elusive redemption arc and/or a happy ending, it was them: this is one of the areas where the Archie TMNT comic got it right, the idea of them living peacefully on the animal-friendly Eden Worlds providing an opportunity to for the duo to move on. 

April is perhaps the most important character in the show other than the Turtles: there are plenty of episodes in the first seven years of TMNT that don’t feature Splinter, Shredder or Krang but none prior to “The Legend of Koji” that don’t incorporate her into the adventure in some capacity. She's interesting to view through a feminist lens: for a character who first appeared on TV in 1987 in a cartoon primarily marketed towards boys, not only is she integral to the proceedings but from the outset she’s her own person, a (somewhat) established career woman who just happens to cross paths with the Turtles and strike up a friendship with them. Because of that need to keep the focus on the green teens we never get to see her grow much beyond this – she likes the Turtles, she likes getting to cover anything that will make for a Great Story™, but that’s as far as it goes. There are a few rare occasions where the show will toy with having a male guest character serve as a potential love interest for her, but it’s not central to what she’s about. First and foremost, April cares about journalism and about sticking up for her friends, the Turtles, and for a cartoon from 35 years ago it’s kind of refreshing that’s she’s allowed to maintain that focus. 

Irma’s introduction to the series feels as if it was intended to play up April’s qualities by bringing in someone who in many ways is her opposite: there’s little indicator that Irma cares about her job or is any good at it in the early goings, and while April only makes occasional references to finding a partner throughout the series, Irma is obsessed. Her desire to find a man to sweep her off her feet in some paperback romance novel scenario is a constant theme throughout the first four years of the show, and I get the sense that part of the intended gag is that all of this would come easily to April if she wanted it, but for Irma – frequently inferred by the show to be frumpy or plain – such things remain perpetually out of reach. 

When it comes to Turtles discourse there sometimes seems to be borderline hostility towards Irma, perhaps in part because she’s driven by a desire for those old traditions, but I think largely based on people focusing on her appearances in those first three seasons (the only ones people tend to pay attention to, especially outside of the fandom) and viewing her on a surface level: April, so the thinking goes, is glamorous and exciting, Irma is merely her gawky sidekick. I’ve consistently gone to bat for her throughout Turtlethon’s run precisely because The Struggle is Real: Irma exists, living and growing as a flawed human being alongside the successful, infallible April and her friends, the ever-valiant Turtles. She messes up, she fails, she frequently ends up being on the receiving end of pure bad luck but through it all she keeps going, persevering in the background while the focus remains on April and the Turtles. As the show continues, we start to see her maturation, both in terms of taking on different roles within Channel 6 and the downplaying of her man-hungry antics. By the end of season seven there’s a sense that Irma has grown into a fully capable person and shed her insecurities, culminating in her brief reinvention as an action heroine and her defeat of Krang(!) in “Shredder Triumphant!” 

There’s an argument to be made that season seven should have been the end point of the series, or at least that years eight through ten ought to be viewed as merely a possible continuation, a look into how things could have continued rather than something set in stone. The truth is that aside from maybe Shredder, the core cast is served poorly by the Red Sky era: the Turtles come across as miserable throughout, April seems adrift after moving on from Channel 6, ultimately losing prominence following Carter’s introduction to the show, Bebop and Rocksteady are robbed of any semblance of personality and Irma only makes two appearances in season eight before being unceremoniously dropped entirely. I’ll freely admit that by the end of season nine, watching each episode for Turtlethon was becoming a deflating experience: by that point the spark was gone from the show, and seeing what it had become just felt sad. Happily, things improved a bit in S10, but I can’t shake the feeling that Shredder, Krang and The Boys riding off in the pick-up truck at the conclusion of season seven would have been the right time for the Turtles to bow out.

TMNT ‘87 was looked down upon from the outset by readers of the Mirage comic who saw it as sacrilege, a mockery of everything the source material was about, and once newer animated iterations came along that adhered more closely to Eastman & Laird’s vision the perception of the MWS version took an even greater hit. Ironically there are a bunch of disgruntled guys around my age – Xennials and the youngest Gen Xers – who will now swear blind that the ‘87 Turtles are the one true faith, and that any deviation from the way the team were depicted then is a disgrace. Click on any TMNT post on Instagram, especially the ones pertaining to Mutant Mayhem, and you’ll find these dudes in the comments pissing and moaning about how much better things were in their day, when the Turtles were real tough guys and manly men, which is an oddly rose-tinted perspective of a show where a significant portion of fights were won with a cream pie or pizza to the face. That’s the thing: at its heart, Turtles is a fun adventure show, one that over its run draws heavily upon martial arts tropes, sci-fi macguffin chases, aliens, monsters, dimension hopping and occasionally time travel: these concepts are all part of the DNA of the superhero comic book, and in that respect, the show is absolutely in the spirit of the Mirage comics which were themselves conceived as both a parody and a loving tribute to that artform. 

That’s it. That’s what the point of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show is: it’s a fun adventure cartoon that might not aesthetically resemble the Mirage comics, but it has an innate understanding of how to adapt the underlying concepts of those stories into a series that connects with its target audience. 

One of my intended aims for Turtlethon, in pulling apart and analysing every episode of TMNT, has been to dispel two commonly held stances about the show that I see online all the time: 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) was never good. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) was only good for the first five episodes, everything after that was terrible. 

People who take the first stance are harder to reach. Some of them are from that group of Mirage readers who were around back in the day and still hold a grudge, but the majority of those who hold this opinion have a wider disdain for eighties cartoons in general. They dismiss the contributions of everyone who worked on these series entirely because they were all “thinly veiled toy commercials”: to them TMNT and every other show from that era are nothing but sound and fury, signifying nothing. I hope in my analysis I’ve shown how far this is from the truth: even the clunkiest episodes of Turtles occasionally have moments where the animators go above and beyond to create impressive sequences, and when the show was at the height of its popularity during seasons three and four these teams created a lot of television on a modest budget within a short timeframe. On the writing side, over the course of the series Turtles incorporates themes into its stories of environmentalism (including climate change and conservation), how sensationalist media and wealthy individuals in positions of power can cultivate hate movements against marginalised groups, and gentrification, to name just a couple of topics off the top of my head; an entire side season was also dedicated to having the Turtles travel around Europe to be exposed to its arts, history and culture. These efforts are a drop in the ocean compared to what the Archie Comics version of TMNT was doing during this period but are respectable, nonetheless. 

The second position – that the show goes off the rails after “Shredder & Splintered” - is something you’ll hear from viewers who have perhaps purchased the first few seasons or the entire series on DVD and have started watching it, but they’re not engaged with the source material. If you’re only half-watching the show, if it’s background noise while you perform other tasks, then the visual drop-off from “Return of the Shredder” onward combined with the drudgery of the Eye of Sarnath arc might make you wonder if there’s any point in venturing further. Undoubtedly there are stretches of the series that tested even my patience: the ungainly syndicated adventures in season four, the bizarre, sometimes directionless Vacation in Europe arc, and pretty much all of season nine. There’s still great stuff in there, however: the second half of season two is far stronger than the first, season three is full of classics such as “Turtles on Trial”, “The Ninja Sword of Nowhere” and the concluding Big Trilogy, and seasons four through six have phemomenal adventures and character spotlight episode scattered throughout. Season seven – the proper season seven, not the vacation episodes – might be the strongest stretch of adventures in the entire series as TMNT regains its focus and attempts to mature in step with its original audience. There’s so much good stuff in Turtles if you stick with it, and I can’t see how anyone could watch the series in its entirety and come away thinking only season one has value unless your criteria for what makes a good cartoon comes down purely to looking cool and some vague aura of edginess. 

ABOVE: A June 1990 TV Guide cover in which Ariel from The Little Mermaid mingles with Bart Simpson, Donnie, Leo and Raph. Yes, Bart is missing his ear, but also WHY DO THE TURTLES HAVE THREE TOES WHAT THE HELL

I hope that if you’ve never actually sat down and watched the 1987 version of TMNT from beginning to end that maybe the breakdowns of each adventure I’ve cobbled together for this blog will inspire you to do so, and that if you’ve seen the show before they’ll allow you to rewatch it with additional insight. More than anything, the goal of Turtlethon has been to point out why Turtles works, while also acknowledging the times when it doesn’t. It’s lost to history now, but there was a vanishingly brief window of time – pretty much just the entire calendar year of 1990 – where the ascendancy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in pop culture occurred in parallel to the rise of The Simpsons. The two series were linked by their indie comics origins and their anti-establishment appeal, however Simpsons was able to reinvent itself after the hype around Bart died down as one of the greatest TV series of all time by continuing to up its game and making Homer the central figure of the show. TMNT was never in a position to make that leap, hampered as it was by budgetary restraints, parental backlash and being more overtly targeted towards children, but as a body of work it still has value, and its longevity speaks to how strongly it resonated with viewers around the world. It is, in a word, tubuloso. 

---

When Turtlethon was in its early stages, I gave some consideration to what series I might like to deep-dive afterwards. I reference Transformers all the time on this blog and it’s without a doubt my First Fandom, so there’s a natural inclination for me to want to go back and examine the 98 episodes of that show. Between that and TMNT, Ghostbusters was my second major fixation, and there’s a lot of The Real Ghostbusters to explore too. 

The natural extension of our journey is to move on to Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, but I honestly doubt it would be fun for me to write or for you to read. I dunno, maybe you want to see me rip it to shreds, but I'm unsure how much financial compensation I’d need to make up for the psychic damage that would inevitably be incurred. (The tip jar is there, if you’re so inclined; let’s just say that Yale could use an international airport.) Moving on to the 2003 version of TMNT would be much more fun, but also a tremendous undertaking that - for now - I don't want to approach. After years of writing about the Turtles, I’m exhausted. I’m also acutely aware that while Turtlethon has been beneficial for me in many ways as a writer – it's allowed me to refine my skills, to learn how to create and maintain a regular schedule, and made me a more effective editor, even if you’d never know it from the length of my posts – the time I’ve devoted to writing about the Turtles would have been better spent working on my own comic series, Corinne Morgan, Corbie, which has been on hiatus throughout the life of this blog. 

[SIDE NOTE: If you want to see me put my money where my mouth is, and if I’ve learned anything through analysing Turtles, read Corbie when the new edition of issue #1 comes out in a few weeks. Its influences are more rooted in the Archie version of TMNT than the MWS series, but if you like cute, light-hearted and socially conscious superhero adventures then I think you’ll soon become a dedicated flocker.] 

I’ve undoubtedly been teetering on the edge of burnout lately, and my workload has been further encumbered by the technical changes implemented by Tumblr that negatively affected the last two seasons’ worth of Turtlethon entries. Behind the scenes, I’ve gradually been making moves to port the blog in its entirety to a stand-alone website where all 193 entries can be enjoyed in the original format. The thinking is that this will allow me to also write about anything else that takes my interest, post my art and generally keep you up to date on the status of all my assorted ongoing projects. With that in mind, I’d like to introduce you to Portertronic, which is now live. The Turtlethon entries for the first two seasons of TMNT have been posted there already, with the rest of the series to follow in the weeks and months ahead. 

This isn’t the end, for Turtlethon or for this account: you’ll still see new TMNT posts from me here, as I have a laundry list of one-off bits and pieces related to the series I still want to explore. The plan is that new content moving forward will be made available first to Patreon and Ko-Fi supporters, then appear on Portertronic, and eventually get posted here too. To kick things off, there’s a pair of upcoming Turtles-related CDs I’ll be looking at as part of a crossover event to introduce Excess Volume, a sub-blog that will cover pop music of the 1980s and early 1990s. I’m not going away, just getting off the treadmill I’ve been on for the last couple of years, and trying to refocus on writing shorter bursts of material while I return to working primarily on Corbie. 

Turtlethon has always had a modest following – there are only so many people in the world who are interested in reading long-form analysis of a decades-old cartoon – but going into it I had zero expectations that anyone would connect with it at all. I’ve never lost sight of the fact that in real life, if a classroom’s worth of people were willing to listen to me talk at length about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles twice a week that would be incredibly edifying, and over time the readership grew to roughly double that. It probably should have been a YouTube channel from the beginning, but the thought of continually being struck down by DMCAs from Lionsgate ensured that was a non-starter, and perhaps that would have defeated the purpose. I like to draw, and I like to write – obviously! That you’ve indulged me in doing the latter and gushing about the Turtles for the last few years means a lot, and I hope you’ll join me – either through Corbie, over on Portertronic or here on Turtlethon – for the adventures still to come. 

[barbiewritesstuff]

Church Encounters: Chapter 7

-- we're throwing in some angst in this one because life is rarely smooth sailing, hope y'all still like it. Thank you for your continued support, we are obsessed with this.

This fic was written in collaboration with @Igg5989 you can find this fic on her tumblr and her Ao3!

Tw. Child neglect, brief mention of parentification, physical abuse, death and I think that's it?

Previous Part

Taglist: @acarboni21 @unsurebuttrying @dempy @peaches-1998 @bbooks-and-teas --

“-- phone number is on the fridge, as well as both my parents’ and Beau’s mother’s number if there’s a problem. Bedtime is at 8 for the little ones and the boys go when they want to. Don’t forget prayers and teeth, even if I know you won’t --”

Elisabeth Simpson had employed you every Friday for the past three years to watch over the children in the small amount of time between her attending her book club, and her husband coming home from work. Even though you were a seasoned babysitter, having cared for the children right through the newborn phase, the I-will-eat-everything phase, the terrible twos and innumerable flus, colds and allergic reactions, she still gave you the same speech every Friday evening. You couldn’t judge, you would have been the same if you had had to leave your children.

“Don’t worry, I got everything under control,” You laughed a little, “Besides, it’s only until Admiral Simpson comes home, so even if there’s a problem, I’m sure we can wait until he gets here,” You said, rattling off the same script you always did. 

And as always, she glanced at you one last time, waved her children goodbye and walked out of the house. You turned around clapping your hands together. 

“Right, kids. What are we watching tonight?” You asked. 

The triplets loudly demanded Dora The Explorer. Matthew wanted Stranger Things, and Peter offered to watch “A classic display of cinematographic genius”. After scolding Peter for even asking to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the presence of his younger sisters, you compromised by setting up what you wanted to watch: Love, Actually. The boys groaned but came around at the sight of Keira Knightly. Picking up your buckets of popcorn you all piled onto the couch, you started the film.

The credits had just started to roll when you heard the noise of keys jingling in the lock. A minute later, an exhausted Admiral walked into the room. He kissed his children on the head and spared you a wave before beelining for the shower. You set to work herding the girls into the other bathroom and brushed their teeth, managing, somehow, not to get bitten. You combed their curly brown hair and braided it nicely and then, after one last trip to the toilet, you corralled them into their room. They all knelt by their beds and held their hands together for their bedtime prayer. You didn’t even have to guide them as they mumbled 

“Now I lay me down to sleep, 

I pray the Lord my soul to keep. 

Angels guard me through the night, 

And wake me up with the morning light. 

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, 

Bless this bed that I lie on, 

Four corners to my bed, 

Four angels round my head. 

One to watch and One to pray 

And two to bare my soul away.”

You watched over them as they finished and climbed into their bed. They pulled the duvet up to their chins and clutched their teddy bears tightly as they slowly drifted off to sleep. You pushed yourself against the door you had been leaning on with a shiver, you had never quite noticed how macabre the second half of the prayer was until it was spoken in perfect unison by three little girls, getting ready to sleep.

You didn’t hear the door behind you creak open and Cyclone sneak in, “I don’t know why they do that last part. We didn’t teach them…” He whispered and you damn near jumped out of your skin. Holding in the urge to hit your superior officer, you opted to shoot him your most scalding glare instead. He smirked. 

“Peter has the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ready to go,” He added, nodding towards the living room.

“That film is so not appropriate for a sixteen and a fourteen year old!” You whispered back.

“I told them they could but not to come crying to me if they were too scared,” He shrugged. You looked at him for a minute, trying to figure out if you needed to put up more of a fight against this and deciding not to. He was their father after all, Elisabeth could blame him if they couldn’t sleep. 

“This better not be a repeat of Stephen King’s IT,” You warned as you followed him into the livingroom.

Cyclone handed you another bucket of popcorn and pulled out a coke from the fridge for all of you, now that the three sugar fiends had been peacefully tucked away in their room. He pressed play and the film started. 

“Can I just remind you that YOU were scared of Stephen King’s IT,” Peter told you, seemingly unable to remind you of that fact for more than ten minutes, “So scared, in fact, that Dad had to walk you home.”

“No. No no. I wasn’t scared,” You lied, “I was worried, there had been a few things in the news that made me worried to go out there alone.”

“Riiiiight,” He said, turning his attention to the tv screen, “Were you also worried when we watched The Woman in Black? And Misery --” 

“Okay, Misery was terrifying and you know it,” you butted in before he could finish. 

Peter let out another snicker, “Fine, but you were scared of Stranger Things.”

You huffed with frustration, “I was not! Admiral, your children are liars.”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Admiral Simpson laughed, trying to put an end to the bickering. 

Peter looked at you with a look of mock betrayal, “You traitorous snitch!” He exclaimed before wrestling the pillow he was leaning against from underneath him and placing a well-aimed swing at your figure. Popcorn flew everywhere as you dropped the bucket and let it fall to the floor. You curled up as small as you could, trying not to laugh too loudly so as to not wake up the girls, but the hits kept coming. Somewhere along the way, Matthew joined in swinging wildly with as many pillows as he could hold. 

You were viciously attacked until Cyclone stepped in. He threw a blanket in the air, it landed perfectly on both boys, taking advantage of their temporary target loss he picked them both up from the waist and carried them straight to their room where you heard him throw them onto their beds. 

Their change of terrain didn’t bother them too much as they immediately bounced back onto their feet. Cyclone quickly ran out of the room and blocked the door from the outside. The boys laughed as they fought but eventually their energy petered out and the banging on the door stopped. 

You checked up on the girls as you heard Admiral Simpson bid his sons goodnight. They were still peacefully unaware of the terrible battle that had occurred right outside their bedroom door, and it was all for the best, they may have been little but they seemed to run on duracell batteries whenever chaos was being stirred.

“I think we’re good,” You said, walking back into the kitchen to find your boss already sweeping popcorn into a bin bag, “We’ll need to mop, I had butter on mine,” You added.

Cyclone grimaced, “I don’t know how you can eat that stuff.”

“I don’t know why you hate it so much, it’s really good,” you said smiling.

He rolled his eyes at you, “It’s greasy, and it makes your fingers dirty.” 

You let out a laugh before firing back, “Oh, right, I’m sorry. I forgot I was talking to the man who eats cheetos with chopsticks.”

“I should never have told you that,” He sighed, “So, I heard you visited Texas with Seresin.”

“Yeah, we went for Thanksgiving,” you said, feeling like you needed to be a little more guarded.

Cyclone hummed, “Peter was sad to hear you wouldn’t be joining us this year. I think he has a crush,” He smirked, then after a moment, he grew serious again, “Is he treating you right?”

You nodded, “Yeah, he’s really nice.”

“Okay, but he’s not --” Cyclone rubbed his nose like he did whenever he was about to ask something he was dreading the answer to. You had seen it happen enough times with Maverick to recognise it before he even moved his hand, “He’s not pressuring you into --”

Scrunching your nose, you looked at him, “Ew.”

“I’m just saying, I know his reputation. I want to make sure, Y/n, that you are safe,” Cyclone said, letting out a deep breath. 

You gave him a look that said you did not want to be doing this, “I am not having this conversation with my boss.”

He rolled his eyes at you, “You called me Dad last week.”

“I hate you so much,” You said and Admiral Simpson laughed.

“He doesn’t pressure me into anything. He’s been really good to me, his family were a little… cold.. At first but after a day or two they were really nice,” you said finally. 

“That’s good,” Cyclone said, “Get started on the mop, would you?”

Giving him your best sassy voice you asked, “Why, is it because I’m a girl?”

He let out a sigh, “Do as you’re told.”

“Urgh!” You exclaimed in mock annoyance, “Yes, Dad!”

As you started to mop, he interrupted you again, “You know you can come to us if there’s ever a problem, right?”

“I know,” you said quietly. 

“No, I mean it. You stopped being a babysitter and started being a family member roughly two weeks after we hired you. If there is ever a problem, with anything and with anyone, you can come to us. We will help,” he said, moving a bit closer to you. 

You laughed a little, “Even stupid things?”

“Even stupid things,” he confirmed. 

“Okay,” you said with a wide smile. 

Cyclone gave you a stern look before asking, “Like how stupid are we thinking?”

“I’m scared to call the dentist. They freak me out,” you said quietly. 

It was his turn to let out a small laugh this time, “Name and number, I’ll do it for you.” 

The air turned more serious when you asked your next question, “What’s it like having a dad?”

“I wouldn’t know,” He replied, looking past you into something you couldn’t see, “But I can tell you what it was like knowing your dad.”

Your eyes opened wide before you responded, “No, I know what he was like. Annie and Audrey told me about him --”

“They can’t get close to the full picture,” Cyclone motioned for you to sit down on the sofa, “I was truly honoured to know your dad as a friend and a mentor before he passed, but I truly learned to respect him when I saw him with his children. I knew my father for all of five years before he left us for another family we didn’t know about. In that time, he managed to beat me half to death twice. He screamed, shouted and threw punches wherever his football team lost. He was my own personal Hell.”

 

“And then I met your Dad. He was so kind, so gentle with me and he went above and beyond for me. He was my Youth Minister for two years before we moved, Y/n, but I never lost contact. He wrote to me every week and called the house phone every holiday to make sure I was okay. I went to him for everything. Hell, he taught me how to shave, he taught me how to drive. He taught me how to talk to God, like, really talk to him. Not recite the ‘Our Father’ and call it good for the day.”

“When I moved, I left the church, I was hurt and I wanted to hurt someone in return. So, I went for the safest option, I renounced the Lord because I knew I would be forgiven. I swore I didn’t believe in him and I took every chance I got to throw punches at him. I wanted to hurt Him, I wanted Him to bleed. But every time I wrote to your father, every favour I asked, every phone call, I got pulled back a little closer. And it got to the point where I didn’t know if I believed in the Lord, but I believed in your father. And I figured that maybe Jesus was real, because there was no way a human poured this much good into Craig. Everything he did he did with love. Even picking up a stray kid on some church steps. He treated me the same way he treated your sisters and the same way he would have treated you.”

“Okay,” You tried to control the tears that were now pouring freely from your eyes, “Because everything you’ve described, you have done for me. And I’m trying to figure out if I’m joking when I call you Dad.”

You tried to remember your childhood. There hadn’t been many moments of parental guidance. Annie had taken the brunt of the childcare as the eldest daughter and Audrey had helped where she could. Still there hadn’t been much a six year old could do when your mother had withdrawn and refused to even look at you. Beau Simpson, your father’s WSO from before he left the Navy, had come to visit when you were still a newborn. He had held you close to his chest, fed you, bathed you and dressed you every day of his two week stay. He had played with your sisters, taken them shopping, made them visit the zoo and actually made sure both of them attended school. When he had eventually returned to the Navy he had been just as heartbroken as your family had been. He returned every weekend, making sure you were fed, bathed and your nappies changed for at least two days of the week. It broke his heart, you knew, but it was the best he could do. 

Then, when you were old enough, he walked you to the nursery and immediately fell head over heels in love with the new trainee. Elisabeth had been twenty years old to his twenty five and she hadn’t been impressed one bit. In her defence, she believed him to be your father and would only correct her assumption after she had given him a piece of her mind at the very top of her voice for an hour straight on a random Saturday morning at the farmer’s market. Once she figured out he was merely a friend of your father’s she had agreed to a date and soon after, they married. You were a flower girl at their wedding, and so were your sisters, looking put together and clean on a Wednesday for almost the first time in your three years of life. You had slipped up and called him Daddy then. After seeing your mother’s face you hadn’t done it again for the following twenty-two years. 

Grandma moved to the US when you were five after having spent the previous years with her other daughter after her divorce. She had pretty much taken over right then, but you had still called Beau whenever there had been something major. You didn’t call as often as you wanted, and picked up whenever he called even less, especially since your mother made sure to let you know, although never with her words, that he only did it under obligation, not because he cared.

“Oh, Heavens Above,” Cyclone said, bawling his eyes out next to you, “Come, hug me.”

You were starting to think that maybe your mother had been wrong.

—

You and Jake had decided to join the rest of the team at the bar for Saturday night pool and karaoke. While you had been sticking to hanging with Bobby, the loud crowd a little too much for your quieter tastes. Jake, knowing this, had told you to have fun with Bob, giving you a kiss on the cheek and a whispered, “Put your drinks on my tab,” before making his way over to the pool table. 

You had always enjoyed Bob’s company and tonight was no different. Your conversation had been flowing smoothly, the two of you discussing the holiday season coming up and the plans that you had made with family and friends.

“I’m not looking forward to going home,” he said, swirling his water around in his cup. 

You gave him a funny look, “Why not?”

Bob let out a sigh before answering, “My dad is a bit of a hard ass, the holidays are never really fun for me.” 

Nodding, you set a comforting hand on his arm, “Maybe things will be different this year?” 

“Nah,” Bob said, turning to look at you, “He hasn’t changed in twenty-five years and he won't change now.”

It made you sad to think that Bob had never had a fun Christmas. You knew that not everyone’s experiences were the same, but you couldn’t understand how a parent could ruin such a fun holiday for their child. After a moment of sullen silence, his voice interrupted your thoughts, ”Enough about me, what are you and Jake doing for Christmas?” he asked. 

“We are planning on going back to Texas. My sisters always have holiday plans around this time of year to see my aunt in Italy so I figured it would be good to spend the time with him instead,” you said, your voice a little sad. 

Bob nodded, “Yeah, missing family is hard this time of year. My grandma was my favourite person to be around at Christmas. As tough as my dad is to deal with, she used to say, ‘Don’t mind him Bobby, I brought him into this world, and I can take him out of it,’” he said with a laugh. 

You smiled at him encouragingly, “My grandma was my favourite too,” you agreed, but didn’t elaborate any further. At that moment you looked up, your eyes finding Jake at the pool table. There were some new Top Gun recruits in town and he had been hustling them, per his usual. Like he felt your gaze on him, he looked up, catching your eye before sending you a wink. 

A blush spread over your cheeks before you turned to Penny, motioning for another round of your new go to drink, Sex On The Beach. Turning back to Bob, you asked, “You have any new year’s resolutions Bobby?” 

He looked at you, “I’d like to find a girl this year,” he said quietly, “That’s been my resolution for a few years now, but it was not the right time I guess.”

“I’m sure she is out there Bob,” you said, “Don’t stop looking, the Lord will send someone your way.” 

“I know,” he said back, a disappointed sigh passing through his lips, “Sometimes I just wonder how long I’m gonna’ wait.” 

You just nodded along with him, “I used to think the same thing, but then I left my chapel veil with Jake at church,” you said, looking up at Jake again. You felt your heart clench in your chest at the sight in front of you. A beautiful woman was standing in front of Jake, her long auburn locks much different than your own sometimes frizzy mop, and she looked like a model, all thin curves and delicate features. 

The conversation seemed somewhat one sided, with Jake playing pool and all, but that didn’t stop her from checking out his form when he bent over the table. You couldn’t deny that he looked good in his black t-shirt and original Levi jeans, but that didn’t mean you were okay with this woman ogoling him. 

As he stood back up, leaning slightly on his pool cue, she placed a hand on his arm, and Jake didn’t remove it right away. You weren’t an insecure person by any means, but you knew Jake’s reputation on base and in the area, and you had hoped that he was really committed to changing for you. 

Thinking about the events of the last week, you felt your heart start to beat harder in your chest. Jake had been withdrawn from you. He hadn’t pressed his usual kiss to your cheek during mass, he didn’t text or call as much as he usually did, and he had forgotten your movie night all together a few nights prior. His excuse had been that he was busy and had forgotten, and while you were hurt, you understood, telling him that it was alright before watching the movie on your own. 

As your mind started rushing with the thoughts that maybe he was regretting making his commitment to you, to taking it slow. Maybe he was seeing someone on the side that could give him what he wanted. Turning to Bob, who was sitting in a comfortable silence with you, you said, “I’ll be right back,” before heading in the direction of the bathroom. As you got there, you looked around the bar to make sure no one was watching you before turning and making your way outside. The ocean air blew over your face, and a few tears escaped your eyes at the thought that Jake had actually been talking to that woman. 

Deciding that a walk would be good for you, you sent him a text, ‘Don’t feel good. Going home.’ You turned your phone on silent, tucking it into the small clutch you had brought for the night before making your way in the direction of your apartment. 

—

Jake didn’t know what else he could do to get this woman away from him. Ever since he had started seeing you he hadn’t looked at another woman, let alone flirt with one. He had been doing his best to ignore her obnoxious attempts to get his attention by trying to focus on the game of pool he was currently winning. 

As he stood back up, leaning into his cue to try and determine how he would take the next shot, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to the owner of the hand with a smile, expecting it to be you, but when it wasn’t, he brushed it off quickly. 

“Listen honey, I’m sure you are a real good time,” he started, “But I have a girlfriend, and I will not be cheating on her.” 

“You Navy boys are all the same, you have girls at home, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him. 

“Unlike the rest of the Navy boys, my girl is here,” he said, turning to look at the bar where you had been sitting all night. The seat next to Bob was gone, and he was shooting a look that said trouble. Jake quickly bowed out of the game, handing his pool cue off to the nearest person at the table before making his way across the bar with urgency. 

“Where is she?” he asked Bob as soon as he reached the bar. 

“I don’t know, she said that she was going to the bathroom a few minutes ago and she didn’t come back, I thought that she might have gone to find you,” he said, his eyes growing wide, “She only had one drink and I’ve been with her the whole time so she isn’t anywhere close to being drunk.” 

Jake just nodded, a bit of the panic that had flared in his chest calming at the thought that you had your wits about you. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he saw that you had texted him, ‘Don’t feel good. Going home.’ 

Why wouldn’t you have said anything to him? He would have been happy to call it a night and drive you back to your apartment. Pressing call on your contact, he brought the phone up to his ear, his heart in his throat as it rang through to voicemail. He called again and again, until finally, on the fourth call you picked up. 

“Hello?” he heard your voice come over the line. 

Jake let out a sigh of relief, “Baby, where are you?”

“I just got home,” you said quietly, something in the tone of your voice making Jake think that something was wrong.

He made his way to the door of the bar, the rowdy crowd making it hard to hear your soft voice, “What’s wrong? I would have gladly taken you home if you didn’t feel good,” he said, trying to replay the night in his head and figure out what he did wrong. 

“It’s okay, I can take care of myself,” you said and Jake didn’t think he had ever heard your voice sound more cold. 

“What did I do?” he tried again, “I know that I did something.” 

He heard you sigh before saying, “I don’t know Jake, maybe you should ask the redhead at the bar, I’m sure she can tell you.” 

With that the line went dead. 

Jake cussed, almost throwing his phone across the parking lot. He had brushed her off, but maybe you hadn’t seen that. It was his own fault, thinking back on how the past week looked, he knew what you were thinking. He figured that if he gave you some time to cool down that maybe he would be able to talk you out of leaving him, you were the air that he needed to breathe. 

He turned to go back into the bar. Bob was sitting in the same place that he left him, so Jake headed over. Taking the seat that you had occupied earlier, he looked at Penny, “Two shots of whiskey, Penny-dear, and leave the bottle?” he asked. 

She gave him and Bob a look before pouring two shots of Jack Daniels and leaving the bottle on the counter in front of them. Jake pounded the first shot before looking over to Bob, “I don’t suppose that you are going to drink with me then?”

Bob just shook his head, “You know me Jake, only water for this stealth pilot.” 

Jake threw back the second shot before pouring himself two more, a million-mile gaze set across the bar, “She’s going to leave me Bobby.” 

“What did you do this time?” he asked, “She was just talking about how much she loved you, how the Lord sent you to her, before she left.” 

“I haven’t told her why this time of year is hard for me,” Jake said in reply, the third shot halfway to his mouth, “Ya’ see Bobby, I’m a murderer,” he finished quietly, shooting his third shot in as many minutes. 

Jake saw Bob’s eyebrows shoot up from the corner of his eye, “What do you mean?” 

“Five years ago this week, I killed a pilot and his WSO,” Jake said, his voice cold and detached sounding, even to himself, “Sure they were on the wrong side of enemy lines in some Korean War era piece of shit, but I still killed them.” 

Bob just sat there staring, Jake knew what he was thinking, how could the big bad Hangman, the one who bragged about his air combat kill the most, actually be ashamed of it. Jake hadn’t even been able to tell his family about it, he didn’t want to see their eyes change once they knew that he was a killer. 

“That’s not your fault man, you were just doing your job,” Bob said, trying to reassure him. 

Jake shot back the fourth whiskey before answering, “Yeah, but so were the Nazi’s. It doesn’t make it right. It’s written right there as the sixth commandment, thou shall not kill…” 

They sat in silence as Jake filled the glasses again, he raised the fifth shot to his lips before looking at Bob, “Do you think I’m going to hell?” 

Bob just shook his head, “I think that if you do your best to seek forgiveness for what you’ve done, then you’ve got just as much of a chance of being saved as the rest of us.” 

Jake hung his head, the sixth shot gripped loosely in his hand, “I don’t know if I can tell her this,” he said quietly, “What if she doesn’t want me? I’m just damaged goods.” 

Bob’s hand came out to rest on Jake’s shoulder, making him lift his head to look over at the WSO, “She loves you, I don’t think there is anything you could do that would make her change her mind about that. You just need to tell her the truth.” 

At that Jake let out a laugh, “The truth about what? About how every Christmas I sit there with my own family wondering if some kid is going to wake up without their father? About how, when I almost lost her, I imagined what it must have felt like for those men’s wives that the loves of their lives were taken from them?” 

Jake was on the verge of tears now, whether they were angry or sad he wasn’t sure but he could feel his chin wobbling. Raising the sixth shot to his lips, he poured it into his mouth, not even flinching at the burn as it travelled down his throat. 

He slammed the glass face down on the bar, waving Penny over, he pulled out his card, “Thanks Penny, I’ll close it out now,” he said quietly, handing her back a now half empty bottle. 

“Anytime Hangman, you go get her, she is good for you,” Penny said, handing his card back to him before turning away and serving another patron. 

Bob helped Jake out of his chair, and through the door, “Give me your keys man, I can’t let you drive like this.” 

Jake pulled out the keys to his truck, handing them over to Bob. As they made their way out of the bar and into the parking lot, Jake stumbled, managing to catch his balance at the last moment. Bob got him into the truck and started to drive them back to Jake’s apartment. Jake didn’t want to go back there, a place filled with memories of her. Her food in the fridge, and her scarf on the end of the couch, the one she had left in his truck a few weeks ago that he hadn’t given back yet because it still smelled like her. 

“Can we go to the church?” Jake asked quietly, “I just can’t go home yet.” 

“Yeah,” Bob said, “We can go to the church.” 

—

Jake made Bob wait outside as he kneeled down in front of the stairs to the altar. He bowed his head, unsure of what to say. How do you ask God to forgive you for killing someone else? The whiskey from earlier had started to kick in in full force and Jake was feeling particularly emotional, the tears that he had managed to hold back at the bar, were now streaming slowly down his face. 

Suddenly the shrill ringing of his phone broke him out of his stupor. He brought it to his face, your contact picture swimming in front of his eyes. Jake clumsily swiped the call button to answer, “Hello?” his voice sounded slurred and rough. 

“Jake?” he heard you ask, “Where are you? Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” 

“‘M at church,” he said as best he could, “Bobs ‘ere with me.” 

“How much have you had to drink?” you demanded. 

“‘Nuff,” he said back, not quite remembering how many shots it was that he took.

A sigh filtered through the line, “Why are you at church?” 

“Askin’ for forgivin’,” Jake said, his voice quiet now. 

“Have Bob take you home, I’ll meet you there okay?” he heard you say, your voice filled with worry. 

“M’kay,” Jake said, struggling to pick himself up from the floor of the church. When he couldn’t get up, the room beginning to spin, he said, “Think I’m gon’ stay right ‘ere.” 

He heard your voice but couldn’t find it in him to respond, the ceiling of the church never looked so beautiful as it did right now, swimming in front of his eyes. A hand on his shoulder startled him, and Bob’s face came into view, he was talking to someone on the phone, “Yeah, he’s here. I’ll call Rooster and have him help me out.” 

Jake wasn’t sure how much time had passed between Bob trying to help him into a pew and Rooster walking in the back of the church, but it felt like a few minutes. 

“What’s going on?” he heard Bradshaw ask. 

Bob sighed, “He’s drunk and I can’t get him in the car myself. It’s all that damn muscle, guy is heavy.” 

Rooster let out a laugh, “I gotcha’ Bob, let’s get him out there.” 

With a man under each arm, Jake was carried out to the truck and forced into the passenger’s seat. Bob spoke to Rooster another minute before climbing into the driver’s seat and beginning the familiar drive home. 

—

Jake must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, it was morning, and he had a pounding headache. He cracked his eyes open finding himself in his bedroom with no memory as to how he got there. He thanked God that the curtains were pulled shut and that no excess light was coming into the room. On his nightstand was a glass of water and a few Tylenol, he took the pills and chugged the water down in one go. 

As much as Jake wanted to roll over and go back to bed, he had to talk to you, and his phone was nowhere to be found. He sat up holding his head tenderly, maybe talking to you could wait until he could gather his thoughts for longer than a second between the pounding that was going on inside his head. Laying back down, he waited for the Tylenol to kick in. 

When his head started to feel better, Jake sat up carefully again and threw his legs over the side of the bed. His stomach dropped, why was he in his boxers? He turned quickly to see the rest of the bed, there wasn’t anyone in it with him, and the sheets didn’t look any more rumpled than usual. He prayed to God that he hadn’t done anything irreversible last night. Standing up, he decided that the first thing he needed was to find his phone and call you. 

He was confused when he got to his bedroom door, the sound of music graced his ears, Forest Blakk’s If You Love Her filtered through the door. There was only one person who would be in his apartment at this hour so without a second thought, he opened the door and went in search of you. 

—

You had helped Rooster and Bob carry a sleeping Jake into the house the night before. They had laid him down in bed and you had followed them out, thanking them for their help and making sure that Jake’s truck was locked before closing and locking the door of his apartment. 

Making your way back into the bedroom you watched the sleeping aviator. He looked so relaxed and carefree when he was asleep. Running a hand through his hair, you proceeded to undress him down to his underwear. It made you uncomfortable, but at least he would sleep comfortably tonight. 

You kneeled down next to the bed, saying a quick Our Father before asking God to watch over Jake tonight, and help his hangover in the morning. You also asked for him to help guide your actions tomorrow, to give you the patience to listen to him. When you said Amen, you stood up, gathering his phone and some clothes for you to sleep in for the night, the same t-shirt and shorts that he had loaned you the first time he brought you here. 

You laid on the couch that night, trying to sleep, but all you could seem to do was worry over the man in the other room. Eventually, as dawn started to kiss the skyline, your eyes fell closed, and you fell into a fitful sleep full of redheaded women and drunken pilots. 

A dream of Jake and the woman from the bar startled you awake a few hours after you had drifted off to sleep. Unable to burn the image of them kissing from your mind, you got up from the couch and made a cup of coffee. Digging in the cabinet under Jake’s kitchen sink, you pulled out some cleaning supplies and began deep cleaning his apartment. 

You were always a busy body and having something to do helped you to try and keep your anxious mind from dwelling on something that hadn’t happened. You had cleaned every available room and surface as well as prepared something to eat since it was now a more reasonable hour to be up. You put on some music about an hour ago, hoping that maybe it would wake Jake up so that the two of you could talk. The beginning of Dave Barnes’ God Gave Me You came through the speaker Jake kept on his kitchen counter and you swayed slowly from your spot at the sink. 

Between the water running, the music, and washing dishes, you hadn’t managed to hear Jake come out of the bedroom. So when his arms wrapped around you in a tight hug, you yelped, “Jake!” 

The man in question had burrowed his head into your shoulder, his voice muffled by your hair, “Was about to call you,” he said gruffly, his morning stubble scratching your neck slightly, “I like you in my clothes.” 

“Mmm,” you hummed, still upset with him for what happened the night before. 

Jake swayed with you for a minute, just listening to the song. You could feel the heat of his chest pressed to your back and you knew that he hadn’t gotten dressed when he woke up, probably not expecting you to be there. 

You felt him move behind you, his head coming up so that his lips were next to your ear, “I don’t know what you saw last night, but I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since we started seeing one another, and I would never betray your trust. I told her proudly about how my girlfriend was sitting in the bar, but when I turned to you, you were gone.” 

You stood silently for a minute, taking in what he said to you. You trusted Jake and you wanted to believe that he wouldn’t cheat on you, but you needed to know about what else happened during the rest of the week, “Why have you been so withdrawn? I thought that if I gave you time you’d come to me with it, but you didn’t.” 

You felt him sigh, letting go of you. When you turned to face him, he was leaned against the other counter, his arms crossed over his bare chest. The look on his face told you that this was something serious. 

“Five years ago, this week, I got my air combat kill,” he said quietly, so quietly that you had to step closer to be sure that you could hear him. “I…” he started, trailing off as he looked at you, worry in his eyes. 

Stepping closer to him, you cupped his cheek with your palm, “Whatever you’re worried about telling me, don’t be.” 

You were surprised to find his eyes a bit misty, his chin wobbled before he cleared his throat, “I just - I feel like a murderer. I broke one of the ten commandments, thou shall not kill, and I just don’t know how to live with myself sometimes,” he said quietly. 

You had tears in your own eyes now, Jacob Seresin was a strong man and to see him standing in his kitchen, looking so small and sad, it broke your heart. You pulled him to you and he immediately rested his head on your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Rubbing his head with your hand, you held him as a few tears fell from your own eyes, you could feel the shoulder of the shirt you were wearing now a little damp. 

Desperately digging through your mind for some kind of guidance from the bible suddenly you remembered John 1:9, “The bible says, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,’” you said into his ear. 

You felt Jake’s form shake at that, a broken breath rattled through him, and he clutched you tighter to him. The misunderstanding from the night before faded quickly from your mind. When you felt him start to let you go, you quit rubbing his head. He looked at you with such reverence in his eyes, before he asked, “What did I do to deserve you?” 

You didn’t know what to say, so instead, you said the first thing that came to mind, “Dance with me?” 

The two of you danced around the kitchen slowly to the song coming out of the speaker, Zach Bryan’s Snow felt fitting for the moment. As Jake guided you around the kitchen slowly, you tried to think of what to say to him. 

When the song ended, the playlist over, you leaned into him, and you said, “Don’t ever be worried to tell me things, there is nothing you could say that would change my mind about you,” then you kissed him. 

[chuckbass-love]

hii! I have a request for prompt 71 with Andy or ransom ☺️

Hey lovely, thank you so much for waiting this long for me to post this and i really hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it.

Prompt #71: "I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, i want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me"

Disclaimer: My work is not to be translated or to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Warning: Swearing, unprotected sex, rough sex, ass spanking, vagina spanking, oral (f receiving), orgasm denial, daddy kink, breeding kink and angst.

Word Count: 3,486

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @sergeantbuckybarnes go check them out💜

In The Mirror

Standing in the middle of the master bedroom, you start to fold the freshly washed clothes before putting them away neatly in the closet. You start off by putting shirts away, Andy’s and then yours before moving on to jeans. Sometimes you wonder how he even has the room for his own clothes since you take up the majority of the space. But you just put that down to shopping trips he's so insistent on treating you to.

As you’re just finishing up, you hear the front door open before it slams shut so hard that the anger fuelling the slam of it can be felt even upstairs where you are.

Looks like Andy is finally home...

You decide to finish up with what you’re currently doing, taking your time before approaching your husband with caution. It was probably another run in with Neil, something you’ve grown accustom to dealing with ever since you met him. Doesn’t mean you don’t run out of ways to handle it occasionally though, your best option is to just allow him to vent before you distract him. Usually distracting him requires an old movie and takeout but other times it requires rough and needy sex.

“Andy” you call out as you pad down the stairs and into the kitchen, only to find him practically chugging a beer way to quickly. It must be bad if he couldn’t even wait until dinner to drink alcohol.

“You know sometimes i think why do i even bother going to work. I mean, Lynn sure seems to enjoy screwing me over for that fucking prick Neil and i’ve had just about enough of it”

Okay, now he’s really angry. You have no idea what to do or even what to say to him, you’re rendered speechless by his cursing and boiling temper.

“I was just about to make dinner, uh, lasagne perhaps. Or maybe we could order takeout again and rent that movie you were telling me about. It’s up to y-“

“Did you not listen to a goddam word i said? I don’t give a shit about dinner, do whatever. I’m going to take a shower” his decibels rise, his tone scolding as he storms past you and up the stairs taking two at a time until he reaches the top. You hear his heavy footsteps stomping to the bedroom and then suddenly it all turns quiet until the shower water starts to run.

Rather than leaving him to cool off, you decide to head up to check on him.

In a way, he was right. You practically ignored his annoyed state and changed the subject, in fact you couldn’t have changed it fast enough. But that’s only because you didn’t know what to say. When he gets like that, there’s not a lot you can say.

“Andy, i’m sorry” you squeak, stepping into the master bedroom to find him stood with his back to you as he removes his dress shirt and tie. His back muscles tense as he stands still for a second before turning around and tossing his clothes to the floor before starting on his belt.

“Andy” you mumble, desperate for him to acknowledge you.

“What?” he snaps, slipping out of all clothes until he’s in nothing but his birthday suit, his impressive size dangling between his legs.

“I’m sor-“

“I heard you”

You gently step closer to him, examining his face for any tell tale signs of discomfort before you rest your hand on his right forearm, “please, just talk to me. What happened today?”

“Like you care, all you seemed to give a shit about was dinner, so how about you go focus on that like a good little house wife and leave me to deal with the tough shit... does that sound like a deal?”

“That’s not fair, Andy. I didn’t know what to say to you, that’s all. You’ve had that many run ins with Neil lately that i lose sight of how to help you. But i’m here now, just talk to me. Tell me what i can do to make it better”

Silence.

His hand pulls from your touch, but before you can even understand what’s going on you’re back is already touching his toned tatted chest. His arms rest on your shoulders, keeping you pressed against him.

“Well, there is one thing...” he starts, moving your hair to the other side of your neck, freeing up some skin for him to feast on. His mouth nears closer, his hot breath fanning you torturously as his nose nudges at you. That’s when you feel his hands fiddle with the hem of your shirt teasingly, slowly lifting it up your torso with ease. You lift your arms in the air, allowing him to remove it before he discards it behind him without a care.

“Such a beautiful body, honey. Be a shame to waste it fretting away about dinner in that kitchen” you gulp in response, feeling his lips barely grazing the nape of your neck, the action causes a shiver to dance down your spine as his beard scratches you.

“Andy” your voice is nothing but a breathless whimper as you turn to face him, his hands instantly rest on your waist at the band of your booty shorts. Of course when he tugs at them, you know what he’s after now and you also know that no matter what you do or say, he’ll take it regardless.

He drops down to his knees, surrendering to your body and dragging your shorts down your legs as he sinks to the floor. You step out of them for him, even going as far as to kick them to one side before he pushes you back to the wall.

The palm of his hand gives your calf a soft squeeze as the other lifts your leg up to drape over his shoulder, your aching sex on show for his lustful orbs to focus on. The insatiable hunger is starting to drown out his mind, body and soul, he’s incapable of thinking of anything else but you, craving anything else but you.

He’s starving, desperate to taste you.

A couple more minutes pass with him peppering kisses along your ankle at first before moving up to your calf and then your thigh. You try to push him away due to the sensitivity there but he only forces you off him, he’s so much stronger than you could ever be and you know now that you’ve lost.

He presses another chaste kiss to your bundle of nerves before pausing and feeling your body react to his touch. Your shaking body begs to be worshipped and devoured whilst he begs to drink and breathe you in like you’re his only lifeline.

“Smell so good” he coos, poking his tongue out to give your clit a kitten lick as his nose nudges at your mound, the action causes you to roll your eyes to the back of your head. Whatever you did to deserve this agonising torture, you will make sure to never do it again. This is teasing at its peak.

“Please, Andy. I need you”

“Oh you’ll have me, alright” his response is quick yet snappy as he dives into you. His mouth latches onto your sex aggressively, sucking, slurping and biting. His beard scratching your inner thighs and it's sure to leave a burn there.

The tip of his tongue points all the more as he winds it around your clit rapidly and even with one hand gripping your hips roughly whilst the other strokes your leg up and down before settling on your ass, you still feel unsteady as if the smallest wave of pleasure could knock you to the floor.

His mouth right where you want him comes and goes as he takes breaks in between to come up for air, but right when you feel yourself getting lost in the feeling, it comes to a complete halt.

You glance down at him, eyelids heavy, chest rising and falling, only to find him rising to his feet.

“What the hell, Andy?” you ask, your entire body heating up.

“You sound angry” he cocks his head to the side as he grazes his hand across your hardened nipple.

“I am”

“Now, that’s exactly how i felt when i came home. Yet instead of comforting me like a good little wife should do, you made me feel worse. So therefore, you don’t deserve to cum”

What the hell is wrong with him tonight?

He shoots you a wink before padding into the bathroom, the shower water still running and steaming up all of the mirrors in your eye-line until he closes the door, locking it to prevent you from entering and leaving you standing there perplexed at his actions.

He did all of that on purpose. He built you up to the edge of ecstasy before leaving you to come crashing down all alone, all in the name of proving a point.

You reach for your robe off the hook on the bedroom door before storming out, brimming with frustration as you make a start on the dinner. Lasagne will do for tonight.

You prep it as fast as you can whilst the oven preheats to the correct temperature before putting it in and setting the timer. Now you can relax.

As soon as you throw yourself down onto the couch and flick the tv on, you hear the bathroom door open. You’re almost certain that he expected you to wait for him like a lost puppy dog but you refuse to play into his petty games of revenge. All because you didn’t comfort him. It was silly and unnecessary.

So for now, you’ll indulge in some reality television whilst you wait for dinner to cook and if there’s one thing that’s for certain, it’s that you are most definitely not putting out for him tonight. No matter what he says or how much he sweet talks you. It’s not good enough for him to treat you like that.

Whatever Neil did or said, that’s a work problem.

Andy can’t believe his eyes when he comes back into the bedroom only to find it empty. He wraps his white towel around his waist, covering up his modesty before heading out into the hallway and down the stairs. As he reaches the bottom of them, he spots you watching tv in the lounge, giggling away at whatever The Kardashian family are doing now, but whatever it is, he doesn’t care.

Instead of leaving you be, he stomps over “what do you think you’re doing?” he inquires, voice bellowing more than he intended “i’m waiting for the lasagne to cook, it’s in the oven. Enjoy your shower, honey?” you probe sarcastically, a rhetorical question. However your sarcasm infuriates him further as he picks you up with ease.

“Andy, put me down. NOW” you shout, kicking your legs and slapping his upper back as he drapes you over like you weigh nothing.

“Dinner is in the oven” you remind him, desperate to avoid burning it. But that’s when he puts you down before walking over to the kitchen and turning the oven off.

Your eyes widen as he approaches you once again, picking you up and carrying you up the stairs, taking them two at a time as he always does.

“Andy” you groan until he places you back onto your own two feet, his hands practically rip your robe off to expose your naked body before he does the same to the towel covering his manhood up.

“I’ll tell you what’s about to happen, honey and you’re going to listen” he informs you, stepping closer and moving you to stand in front of the mirror. You correct your abysmal posture as you look back at him in the mirror. A sinister glint in his eyes becomes crystal clear as a wicked grin graces his handsome face. His beard full, his hair still wet from the shower as droplets of water drip down his chest.

“I’m gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, i want you to see how pretty you look when you’re spreading your legs for me” the pure filth has you holding your breath in shock before exhaling dramatically.

He’s always been kinky but sometimes he still manages to leave you shocked. Although it’s times like these that you love him the most, the whines and whimpers he draws from you so effortlessly, the way he causes your body to tremble raggedly and most of all the way your entire world stops turning as he brings you to that cliff edge, pushing you off of it with his two large menacing hands.

He kicks your legs apart further before pulling your arms to the back of you. He hooks his arm inside of them to prevent you from moving away from him whilst his other hand massages your puffy petal like folds before circling your dripping entrance.

Once his tip is resting directly at the tight hole, he proceeds to move forward, the skin around your entrance catching onto him as your walls welcome him inside.

“Oh, fuckkk” he draws out the word, groaning and gasping for air as he drives home, the feeling overwhelming you to the limit.

How can one man have such a firm and tight grip on you like this?

How did you end up here, unable to utter out a single word as his pace picks up before he’s fucking into you so violently, snapping his hips with no signs of slowing down.

“Keep your eyes on yourself, honey, do as i say” he warns, and the moment you look up at him, you see the darkness and it causes you to look away, focusing back on yourself just like he instructed you to do.

The feeling of his cock dragging along your walls so fast is enough to cause the knot in your stomach to tighten painfully. The pleasure is almost too intense to bare, too much for your fragile body to handle. Yet you continue to take it, allowing him to fuck away his anger, channeling it into this moment.

His arm and hand tightens around your arms, holding you in place as he keeps his sights on you, watching as your mouth hangs open in the perfect O shape. Fuck, you look perfect like this with him bending you to his will, using you for the sole purpose of his pleasure and his pleasure only.

How did he get so lucky to be graced with you’re beauty?

The harder he snaps his hips into you, the more the coil tightens and the all too familiar feeling builds all the more inside of you. An ongoing reminder of your impending orgasm.

“Andy, i-i’m gonna c-cum” you tell him, begging for him to allow you the privilege of releasing, the privilege of creaming all over his rock hard cock.

A dark chuckle erupts from his throat, mocking your pleas for a release before tutting at you, the torment continuing.

“Please” you beg once again, only to be reprimanded with the harsh sting of his hand landing on your ass cheek “keep your eyes on the mirror, honey. You’ll come when i tell you to, quit being a brat”

The need to release is almost unbearable, tears of pleasure welling in your eyes and drowning out your vision before you blink, allowing them to stream down your innocent looking face for him to see. It only spurs him on more as he moves his free hand in from of you, kicking your legs further apart before smacking down on your sex brutally. Your body jerks in response before somewhat relaxing at the feel of him rubbing briskly at your pulsating clit.

“That’s it, honey. Taking that cock so fucking well”

“I need to c-cum, A-Andy” your voice trembles frantically in hopes of him taking pity upon you.

“Shhh, baby. Just let daddy fuck the frustration away, gotta fuck it all away” his words are pure filth but his tone is gentle and needy. He just wants to take his anger out on your body, channel it into something.

You can imagine that with the field of work he’s in that he finds it hard to keep his cool with Neil every day. Which is a shame because they used to be close.

Granted that was back when Neil first started and Andy mentored him, whipped him into shape and taught him everything he knows. And Neil is a better lawyer because of it. However, it also means that he’s just rude, obnoxious and cocky towards Andy, pushing him to the edge and taunting him a little more every day.

“Hold yourself back for daddy, you’ll cum when i give you permission to. Is that clear, honey?”

“Yes” you mumble, barely audible.

“What was that?”

“I mean, yes daddy” you correct, watching his eyes intently, searching for any sign of him letting up his tight hold and hard thrusts.

“Good girl, being so perfect for daddy and taking this fucking like a pro, huh?”

“Yes daddy”

Your eyes glaze over as you struggle to keep yourself in tact, the hold you have on your orgasm is slipping from your control slowly but surely and you know that if he doesn’t give you the go ahead soon then you’ll end up breaking the rules.

Something that will surely earn you a painful punishment.

“God, fuck. I’m gonna cum, you gonna cum with me, honey?” he asks, gasping. You throw your head back onto his chest, arching your back into him further. You nod your head as quickly as you can as you feel your knees turning weak.

“Count down with me”

“10’ you say in unison, his fingers rubbing furiously at your sex.

“9” the sound of your skin slapping together bounces off of the walls.

“8” the feel of his mouth latching onto the sweet spot on your neck, pearly white teeth sinking in to mark you up.

“7” the moans he’s eliciting are now flowing out of your mouth uncontrollably.

“6” deep grunts escape him as he pushes you against the mirror, causing your cheek to push up against it.

“5” the feel of him fucking into you tightens the coil for the final time, the feeling agonising.

“4” you scrunch your eyes closed, seeing stars as you arrive at the cliff edge.

“3” you say in unison as his thrusts turn from fast and rough to slow and hard.

“2” his cock twitches inside of you, your walls flutter around him over and over.

“1”

“That’s it, baby, cream all over that cock for me”

You let go, body shuttering as you stand up onto your tip toes. His grip on your arms lets up, causing you to fall forward, hands resting on the wall either side of the mirror.

“Oh god” he growls, hands splaying across the soft globes of your ass before he fills you with hot ropes of cum, breeding you unofficially.

He remains seated deep inside of you for a minute or two whilst the two of you struggle to regain control of your breathing, both of your hearts beating so fast that it feels as though they are on the cusp of exploding out of your chest.

“How are you feeling now?” you ask as he pulls out, turning to face him.

“Hungry for Chinese takeout and a night filled with fucking that tight cunt”

“Was that not enough?”

“I’ll never get my fill of you” he says, pulling your naked body flush against his “i want you all of the time and besides, that was just to channel my anger into something. The next time will be to make a baby”

“W-what?” your voice shaky as you raise your eyebrows at him.

“You heard me, i’m gonna spend all night breeding you, honey. Gonna make you all nice and round with my child. Gives me a chance to take my mind of that cunt Neil”

You nod your head, humming your agreement before pressing your lips to his.

Sure, you’ve had chats about kids before but this is the first time he’s openly suggested trying and even after his outburst, your love for him remains.

You can’t wait to spend the night tangled up in the crisp white sheets of your bed, filled with his cum.

---------------------

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[shemarmooresfedora]

Sugary Sweet Apologies

Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)

A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.

“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.

“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.

“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.

“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.

You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”

Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.

“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.

“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.

-

David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.

He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.

“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”

Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.

“Excuse me?” David asked.

“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”

Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.

“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.

“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.

“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”

David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.

Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.

“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.

“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.

“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.

Spencer never checked on you.

-

You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.

However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.

During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.

“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.

No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.

“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.

“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.

“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.

“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.

Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.

Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.

“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.

“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.

The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.

Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.

Dear Reid,

Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.

Thanks again,

Y/L/N

Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.

You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.

He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.

Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.

-

You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.

You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.

You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.

“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.

“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.

“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.

“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.

“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.

You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.

“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”

“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.

“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.

“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.

“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”

“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.

Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.

“It’s okay,” you understated.

You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.

“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.

“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

Spencer muttered something incoherent.

“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.

“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”

“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”

“In what way?” he curiously asked.

“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.

“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.

“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.

When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.

In typical elementary school fashion…

Will you go get coffee with me?

Check:

Yes

or

No

Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.

“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.

“It’s a date,” he smiled.

[jadegrey711]

Trouble

Soft dark!Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello everyone! So recently I’ve become absolutely obsessed with both @navybrat817​ and @stargazingfangirl18​ who both write absolutely amazing stuff and I want to be them when I grow up. So when I found out Siri was doing a 5k writing challenge i figured i’d throw my hat in the ring and maybe get out of this depression writing slump. 

So I decided to make a vey very very! Soft!Dark Andy Barber x Fem!Reader. Seriously it’s like Dark Light lol. But I hope you all like it! I hope to do another one before the month is over but let’s see shall we? 

*NOT MY GIF. Credit in the TAGS*

Word Count:1484

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711) 

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake. 

WARNINGS: Sexual Situations (18+ ONLY), Overstimulation, possessive Andy, deeply jealous Andy, Oral sex (F Receiving), Vaginal sex. 

Other warnings include very mediocre writing. 

He watched you from a distance as he continued talking with his fellow associates, making sure to keep a watchful eye on you as you chatted with the wives. He smirked to himself knowing you must be bored out of your mind, but you did it for him and he loved you for it. 

Suddenly though, Andy watched as Neil Logiudice approached you from behind, putting a hand on your arm. You seemed startled for a minute and then smiled, putting your hand on top of his and Andy saw red. 

He barely registered what the others in his group were talking about. Because his gaze was focused solely on you and Neil and how cozy you were in each other’s company. How you and the other women laughed at some joke he made and about how in the three minutes he had been standing there he hadn’t been able to keep his fucking hands off of you. He felt like breaking each one of those fingers, making sure he let Neil know that he was never to touch you again. He could feel his whole body vibrate with violence as he continued watching, knowing you were none the wiser. 

Neil was nice enough and he was an associate of Andy’s so when he put his hand on your arm to get your attention you let it slide, putting your hand on top of his and gave it a friendly pat fighting the urge to swat it away immediately. You were at a party full of Andy’s work friends and associates so making a scene over something small would not be a good impression on either your part or Andy’s; so you let it slide and you let the other four times he touched you slide as well. Even as you were mentally flinching each time he did it. After the fourth time you looked around the room for Andy, looking for an escape of some kind and immediately found him; across the room and boring holes into the back of Neil’s head with that dark gaze. 

You took that as your cue to quickly excuse yourself, saying that it was getting rather late and you should go and find Andy. Everyone waved you off as you departed from the group and over to where Andy was. 

“Hi honey.” You smiled, grabbing his hand and lacing your fingers with his and while everyone else in the group was still talking you heard Andy sigh and grip your fingers back; turning his face towards your he gave you a small smile. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” He whispered in your ear.

“Definitely!” You whispered back. Before you plastered a smile on your face as Andy said goodbye to everyone and then put his hand on the small of your back and guided you out the exit. 

**

Later that night after you both had gotten home, gotten into bed and as Andy had your leg over his strong shoulder while he devoured your soul between your legs did he bring up Neil. 

You writhed on the bed, your fingers tangled in Andy’s hair as you felt your orgasm coming on fast with the pace he was eating you out at. When suddenly Andy surprised you. 

“You good friends with Neil now?” he asked nonchalantly against your folds, before he sucked harshly on your clit. Making you groan. 

“What?” you asked confused at what he was possibly asking you right now as he was sucking all rational thought out through your pussy. 

“Are you good friends with Neil?” He asked again, giving your clit another harsh suck. And you felt your legs convulse. 

“What the fuck Andy?” You asked but the sound of his name was more of a moan as he added two of his fingers and pumped your sweet pussy. 

Andy didn’t give for a minute as he continued to suck and lick at your folds until you finally came, but instead of gently working you through your orgrasm, his fingers kept their harsh pace as he looked up at you. 

“You seemed like real good friends when you let him put his fucking hands on you.” He growled as he placed an open mouth kiss on your pussy. His other hand pulling the hood of your clit back before placing another one of those kisses there and sucking it again. 

“Fuck! Andy! I’m gonna come again.” you cried out, feeling that the pleasure was starting to be too much for you. But the way that you started to pull on Andy’s hair to pull him off or the way your hips turned away from him his touches didn’t deter him one bit as he continued with his interrogation. 

He leaned up from you and watched his fingers stroke in and out of you before he added a third one, earning a low whine from you as you felt yourself building up to another orgasm.

“You didn’t answer my question sweetheart. Why did that fuck think he could put his hands on what is mine?” 

“Andy.” you moaned, trying to get away from his touch but he wasn’t having any of that as he placed his heavy bicep over your stomach, keeping you there at his mercy. 

You felt that sinful tongue run through your folds again, his thick beard scratching your thighs adding whatever sensations you were feeling to new heights. Then he pulled out his fingers so he could fuck you with his tongue now. Your third orgasm coming like a runaway freight train. You felt your toes curl as your third orgasm washed over you making you lift from the bed like Andy was performing an exorcism on you. 

You felt tears in your eyes as you tried again to pull away from Andy’s touches feeling your thighs tremble uncontrollably now but Andy wasn’t stopping not until he got what he wanted from you; not until he got an answer for why Neil thought he could put his hands on what didn’t belong to him. 

“Fuck Andy! Stop!” you sobbed. “He just came up to me. I didn’t want to make a scene about some guy putting his hand on my arm so I didn’t do anything  about it. I knew you were right there if I felt uncomfortable and I did; so I left.” you cried out, feeling the tears roll down your cheeks. “Please honey stop.” you sobbed. 

You watched in relief as Andy pulled his plump lips away from your aching pussy, and felt your pussy clench at the sight of his beard absolutely drenched in your juices. But your relief was short lived, as you saw the look in Andy’s eyes, the feral look they held in them. 

“He made you uncomfortable?” 

“Yes, but I came straight to you. Please Andy I can’t take it anymore baby please.” you whined. 

“I should break everyone of his fingers for laying a fucking hand on what’s mine.” He said softly, placing chaste kisses on your inner thighs and you let out a small cry. You watched in relief as he climbed up the length of your body, and ladened you with soft hungry kisses, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. 

“I love you.” he said softly, giving you another soft kiss. “I’m so glad that you felt that you could just come to me when you were feeling uncomfortable. I never want you to feel that way again so next time, you’ll just stay with me the whole time okay?” 

You quickly nodded and kissed Andy back. You both just stayed there like that for a minute, him hovering and stretched over your body, ladening you with soft kisses before he pulled away from you and gave you a wicked smile. 

“But I think you have one more in you baby.” he said and before you could even react. Andy grabbed the back of each of your legs, bringing you closer to him, before he swiftly impaled you with his achingly hard cock.

Andy set a brutal pace obviously trying to get you off one more time before he loses all control. You let out a high keen, and grabbed onto Andy, your nails raking down his back; a small revenge for him absolutely wrecking you tonight all because of some asshole touching you. 

“I’m gonna fill you up so nicely baby. No one will ever have any doubt that you are mine.” he let out a low grown. “And that I’m yours.” he growled leaning down to suck and place kisses on your neck. 

Without warning your orgasm crashed over you and you were sure that if Andy wasn’t there pressing down onto you, you would’ve snapped in half from the force of it. As Andy chased his own end, he kissed the tears that were flowing down your cheeks. 

“Nothing fucks with my baby.”

[earthh2jadee]

if you kissed me - Rodrick Heffley | 1.9k

Yeah yeah i know i haven't written since a million years ago. and yeah yeah i know this is my first real fanfiction i posted on tumblr. fair warning, i'm not the best writer, i honestly just do this for fun and i'm totally up to criticism because i do want to make my writing better. if this is literally inaccurate, im sorry its been like 5 years since i've read the books. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fluff-fest that I created in the span of a few hours.

paring: rodrick x reader genre: fluff. lots of fluff

Credits to the maker of the picture! 15 Days till the Contest | 9:42 PM, Saturday

Plick, plick, plick

My speakers were blasting so loud I almost didn’t hear the sound of pebbles hitting my window.

Plick, plick, plick

I rubbed my eyes and slammed my laptop shut, walking toward my bedroom window. Peering down, I saw a figure a few yards down from my second-story bedroom, looking back up at me. Dark brown, messy hair that stuck up around his face. A red and black flannel, black ripped jeans, and, (of course) a tee-shirt with “Loded Diper” clumsily written on it. A grin spread on his face as he saw my face come into his view, causing me to blush. Rodrick Heffley, Crossland High bad boy, and my boyfriend.

I unlocked the latch to my window and stuck my head out, taking in the cool air and letting the neighbors enjoy the music I was playing (they never did). I looked down.

“Y/N!” He whisper-yelled

“Evening, Heffley.”

“I need to tell you something!”

“What’s so important that you have to scratch my window instead of using the power of modern technology to call me?”

His mouth opened to give me a response, but nothing came out. I smirked, “Come on up.”

I opened the window wider as he climbed the trellis that lined the back of my house. I backed up to my door and locked it. Precautions, my parents liked Rodrick but they definitely wouldn’t approve of him in my room at night. I looked back and I saw him, every feature of him illuminated by the light of my room. His cheeky smile and chocolate brown eyes. He slowly closed the window and walked toward me, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I still got butterflies whenever he touched me.

“Hey, Spiderman. What did ya climb in here to tell me?” I asked

“I got Loded Diper into a contest.”

My eyes widened, Loded Diper, my boyfriend’s rock band, wasn’t exactly known for being the best. It was mostly known for his mom’s insane dance moves during the Plainview Talent Show. But of course, i'll never say that in front of his face.

“You did?! That’s awesome Rodrick!”

“Yeah! It's a battle of the bands contest, we’re going against two other bands. I really think this is gonna be our big break!” His eyes sparkled in excitement.

His happiness was contagious, he was like a goddamn puppy. I pulled him into my arms. “I’m proud of you Rod.” I muttered and smiled into his collarbone. I felt him inhale the scent of my hair and twirl my locks around his fingers.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the hug. “I’m having practice tomorrow with the band, you wanna come?”

“Sure. I go to every practice anyway, why miss out on this one?” I shrugged.

He chuckled and looked at me. Really looked at me. That’s one of the reasons why I fell for him. It never seemed like it, but he paid attention. We’ve only been dating for 4 months, but he knew me like no one else did, and I knew that in the way he looked at me. I felt his hand cup my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek in small circles. I looked up at him, noticing how tall he was, how close he was. Was I the one who leaned in? Was he the one who leaned in? Did we just do it subconsciously? Did he want this? Was he ready? Was I ready?

The ringing of Rodrick’s phone filled the room. The daze we were trapped in was gone and we separated, our faces red. Rodrick picked up the phone, it was his mom.

“Yeah, mom? Mom...I’m in the middle of something. I’ll do laundry later, ok? Now? C’mon… Alright, fine. Bye.” He hung up. “Sorry, I gotta blast.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked him as he started toward my window.

He looked back at me and planted a kiss on my forehead, the farthest we’ve ever gone with physical touch as a couple.

“Tomorrow”

~~✰✰✰~~

14 Days till the Contest | 1:22 PM, Saturday afternoon

“Should we take it from the top?”

Practice wasn’t going so well. I could feel the nervousness, the tension. Drums were slightly off beat, the guitarist’s fingers would fly to the wrong places on the fretboard, lyrics would go all over the place. The contest was two weeks away, and Loded Diper was already feeling the anxiousness. I sat on the floor of the garage, on top of a picnic blanket I found. To Rodrick’s dismay, his mom forced him to let Greg watch band practice, as a form of “brother-to-brother bonding time.” Greg sat next to me, mockingly covering his ears.

“Oh thank god, it's done.” Greg said with an immense amount of sarcasm and uncovering his ears.

Rodrick threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at his head, “Shut up.”

“Both of you, be nice.” I laughed. “I think you guys should take a break for a while, maybe shake off the nerves.”

“Good idea Y/N, 20 minute break everyone!” The lead singer said. Everyone spread out, grabbing a piece of pizza ordered earlier and laying down. Greg ran out of the garage, yelling, “I’m free!”

Rodrick stood up and began gulping down a bottle of water. He wore a black tanktop and black ripped jeans, sweat dripping down his forehead. I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He turned and faced me, running his hands through my hair, lost in thought.

“You ok, Rod?” I asked him.

He sighed, “nerves”

I leaned my head on his chest, “You’re gonna do great, you’ve done so many gigs in the past. Think of this as one of those!”

He smiled at me, “You know what would make me feel a lot less nervous?”

“Oh god. What?”

A really common thing Rodrick did was try to bargain a kiss on the lips from me. It's been an ongoing joke, a meaningless bit he did all the time. I’ll do my homework if you kissed me on the lips. I’ll smile in the picture if you kissed me on the lips. It still hasn’t worked.

“I might be less nervous if you kissed me on the lips.” He whispered to me.

I rolled my eyes, “If that’s what it takes then I think you’ll lose the competition.”

He let go of me and laughed, my favorite laugh. “Worth a try.” He shrugged, going off to join his bandmates and the pizza. But as I watched him smile and laugh with his friends, I lost myself. I thought about the previous night. The way we fit into each other, the closeness, the fact that was so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes.

Maybe I should just say yes.

~~✰✰✰~~

The Day of the Contest

For the past 2 weeks, Rodrick has given me the “kiss-bargain” joke 9 times. Every time, I deflected it with sarcastic remarks, and every time I regretted not agreeing.

I sat on the front steps of my porch, waiting for Rodrick to pick me up. I regretted the jean shorts and plain black tee-shirt I had on, as a cold breeze brushed my skin. I pulled my black leather jacket on, which I painted “Loded Diper” on the back in white paint. Then, I heard it. The echo of heavy metal turned to full blast, and… the faint sound of something big getting knocked over. Oh god, they’re here. The white van with “Loded Diper” written in huge words screeched to a halt in front of my house.

The window rolled down, revealing my boyfriend and his excited grin. “Get in.”

~~✰✰✰~~

30 minutes till Loded Diper preforms

It felt surreal to be backstage, and really exciting. Energy was flowing through the room, as all the other bands talked and played. The rest of the band members seemed excited, full of adrenaline. Except for Rodrick, he’s been nervous ever since soundcheck. His leg was bouncing,he twirled his drumsticks around, drumming them on random objects, and his eyes stared into nothing.

“Rodrick, you want me to do your eyeliner?”

“Huh?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the ground, his voice seemed far away.

I lifted a liquid eyeliner pen I had in my pocket, “Eyeliner. I just did mine, we can match!”

He lifted his head and noticed me. I had my eyeliner smudged, just like he always does during a gig. He grinned, “Yeah. Yeah sure.”

I’ve done his eyeliner many times in the past, and I loved doing it because I had to be as close to him as possible. So I hopped onto his lap, pressing myself close to him, trying to comfort him with my warmth.

“Close your eyes.” I ordered.

As I applied his eyeliner, I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. It was heavy, and fast. I’m pretty sure I would still hear it if I wasn’t as close to him as I was, even though the loud music blasting through the theatre.

“Done”

He opened his eyes, and butterflies flooded my stomach. We were close. Very close. Should I do it? Should I lean in?

Rodrick probably sensed my flustered-ness. He smirked, “Cat got your tongue?”

I rolled my eyes, blushing hard. “Shut up.” I said, playfully punching him.

~~✰✰✰~~

“5 Minutes until Loded Diper performs!” A man exclaimed to us.

Rodrick was as nervous as ever. We’ve been standing on the left wing of the stage, watching the other bands play. It felt like a bunch of Loded Diper copy-pastes. A bunch of high schoolers, weird names, very aggressive playing. But they were still pretty good. Rodrick was biting the nails of one of his hands and tapping his other hand on the wall behind him. I looked up at him and held his hand, stopping it from fidgeting. He smiled nervously.

Now or never Y/N…

“Hey, you said that if I kiss you, you won’t be as nervous. Right?”

He looked at me, wide eyed. He seemed to be trying to compute what I said.

I stood on tiptoe and put his face in my hands. It was that night all over again. Every detail of his face, of him was in full view. His eyes, his eyeliner, his scent, his lips. I leaned in.

His lips were soft against mine, but they were tense, flustered. I was terrified, It was the wrong place, the wrong time. Until I felt one hand in my hair, another on my waist, pulling me closer.

How long was the kiss? A few seconds? It felt like minutes, hours. Sparked ignited. Butterflies flew in my stomach. His scent was the only thing I smelled, his warmth was the only thing I felt. The music faded away. Everything faded away. It was just him and I. Until we broke apart, taking in deep breaths of each other. We wanted more, but Loded Diper was playing in a few seconds.

“Hey, Rodrick.”

“Yeah?”

“If you win I’ll kiss you again”

We both knew I would kiss him regardless.

I didn't edit this because editing is for wimps (just kidding be responsible and edit your work)

please like and reblog because it gives me serotonin and i need that

[ynscrazylife]

hi!! may i request hermione granger taking care of reader after reader gets injured from quidditch practice or a magic lesson gone wrong? thank you!!

The Warrior and the Knight  | h.g fluff fic

Summary: After getting hurt during Quidditch Practice, Hermione becomes a doctor for her girlfriend.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting! I’m so excited to write for Harry Potter again.

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

Harry Potter Masterlist |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/byblackswan

Hermione Granger usually wasn’t a big fan of Quidditch. The crammed crowds, loud cheering, and especially the competitiveness stirring inside her and how disappointed she got when the opposite team scored against Gryffindor. She had been to far too many games of Harry’s for her liking and she did like seeing her friend play, but couldn’t deny the longing to be curled up in her dorm, reading.

That all changed when her girlfriend came along.

Hermione had met Y/N when she was coming to get Harry from practice so they could go to Hogsmeade one day. Y/N was their age but new to the team, playing as a chaser. She was immediately enchanted by the girl and found herself a blushing, blubbering mess. It didn’t take Harry too long to connect the dots and soon, he set them up to date, and they did.

Being with Y/N made Hermione incredibly happy. She quickly fell in love and wasn’t afraid, because Y/N had a tendency to calm her nerves and fill her with some courage instead.

Hermione found herself getting more and more eager at games, doing her best to keep her eyes on her girlfriend and how she zoomed every which way. Her cheers got louder. Her signs for Y/N and Harry (but mostly for Y/N) got bigger. And she truly enjoyed being a fan of Quidditch.

Which was why it wasn’t surprising to see Hermione climbing up the stands to sit at the Gryffindor’s team practice to watch. They had planned to go on a date afterwards, but Hermione finished her book and wanted to just see her girlfriend in all her glory and awe.

Her gaze immediately zeroed in on the fifth year in the Gryffindor jersey that was too big for her and watched as she zipped around. One second she had the Quaffle and the next it was soaring through the air to her teammate. Hermione smiled when her teammate caught it and scored. 

The game continued on with Y/N having little mistakes. She was dominating the field and Hermione was so captivated that she didn’t notice the Ravenclaw in the stands, wand out and muttering under his breath, focussing on the game, definitely for a different reason and not to watch the players, well, play.

After the Quaffle soared through the hoop again, the team’s keeper flew down, got it, and threw it back. Y/N, being the closest, went to get it but her broom decided to disobey her. When she tried to go down to catch the underhanded through, the broom jerked her upwards. She tried again but this time she was jerked to the side. Hermione began to notice and she frowned in concern while Harry, who was on the field, tried to fly over to her. 

In the amount of time that it took him, though, the broom was going even more wild. Y/N could tell that this wasn’t going to lighten up anytime soon and at this rate, it’d be near impossible for her to safely get onto another teammate’s broom. Making a quick decision, she decided to take matters into her own hands and, in an attempt to gain some control, directed her broom downwards. 

The jerking all about was starting to make Y/N dizzy, but she didn’t give up. It took longer than it normally would but finally, when Y/N was closer to the ground (and when she was trying to block out all her teammates’ words because she had to concentrate), the broom went even more wild. She wasn’t at the height she wanted to be and when she tried to go down even further, the broom sped up, causing her to crash into the ground. Y/N rolled forward and the broom’s end managed to stab her in her stomach, but the momentum she had caused her to roll to the side, breaking off from the broom, onto the grass. 

In a matter of seconds, the Gryffindor players had landed and Hermione was making her way onto the field as fast as she could. Harry was scanning the crowd, trying to figure out the source of this, but the other players all went to Y/N, trying to help her. Once Hermione got there, her protective instincts kicked in and she pushed them out of the way, not trusting them with healing spells. 

“Hey, hey,” Hermione tried to comfort Y/N, whose face was scrunched up in pain, in a soft voice which she usually didn’t have. “You’re gonna be okay, yeah? I’m gonna take you to Madam Pomfrey.” She pressed her hand against Y/N’s stomach. Thankfully, the wound wasn’t too deep, but it still hurt. 

“Madam Pomfrey can’t help. At least, not right now. I passed the Hospital Wing on my way over to practice - it’s filled with students with that nasty cold,” one of the Gryffindor chasers told the brunette. 

Hermione cursed under her breath but gave Y/N a smile, wanting to be strong for her. “Harry!” She called her friend over. “Help me get Y/N to my dorm. I’m at least competent in the practice of healing spells. I’ll help her out.” 

Harry nodded and they both helped Y/N walk to the dorm since she had also hurt her ankle. When they got there, Hermione stepped into the leader role. She got Y/N comfy on her bed and ordered Harry to get all the healing books he could from the library. After he left, she grabbed her wand and went to jump into action, but Y/N grabbed her hand softly, making Hermione pause, at first worried that something was wrong, and went to go ask all the questions until-

“Hey,” Y/N said, her voice gentle, gaze full of adoration. “Take a deep breath.”

Hermione shook her head. “You’re hurt - there’s no time.” 

Y/N just shrugged. “I’ll be okay . . . I just wanted to say, I’m glad you were at the practice today, and not just because I’m hurt,” she said. 

Hermione smiled, allowing herself to relax for a couple moments. “I’ll always be here for you, I hope you know that,” she replied, kissing Y/N’s forehead before taking a deep breath like her girlfriend told her to. She then straightened up and brought her wand out, healing her ankle (though it took a few tries) first.

Afterwards, she dealt with Y/N’s stomach wound. It wasn’t that bad, but she didn’t want it to get worse, which is why, after she used a spell to stop and clean the blood, she washed out the wound the Muggle way. Then, she conjured some bandages and bandaged her up tightly. 

“My warrior,” Hermione said as she got into the bed also, slipping under the covers. 

Y/N chuckled and leaned her head against Hermione’s shoulder. “My knight in shining armor,” she replied.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @cc13723things

Harry Potter Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @okkulta @marauderenergy @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @mads-weasley @afraid-to-be-me @lilymurphy03

[cordria]

Twin Cores - DP

Saw this headcanon on Tumblr… awhile ago? It stuck with me, and I ended up writing this, and now I can’t find it to give the person proper credit. Lemme know if anyone recognizes this idea and knows who came up with it. (heart) 

Was gonna do this idea for the Big Bang thing, but I forgot all about signing up. ;) Wonders. So I’ll just post it and come up with new ideas.

~2,700 words. 

--

Danny floated high above the clouds, up where the air was thin and cold and the stars sparkled brightly overhead. It was terribly late, and Danny knew he’d be paying for this at school tomorrow, but this was always the best part of his week. He couldn’t come up here all the time, but when he cound, he always found himself relaxing. Hands behind his head, he floated on his back, studying the stars.

He let out a breath through his lips and brought a hand forwards to massage his chest, closing his eyes. Yesterday had not been good day. An accident with some of his parents’ technology had completely ruined his day. For reasons Danny didn’t understand, his chest had felt overly full since. Almost like he needed to cough up something - which couldn’t be, because his ghost form didn’t have any real lungs to cough with. 

With a groan, Danny stretched and rolled his body through a bunch of sharp loop-the-loops and twists, hoping maybe he could work out the kink. Nothing. Hopefully it wouldn’t prevent him from getting a good night’s rest. He was exhausted.

He floated for a few minutes longer, watching the sky and hoping for a meteor or two, slowly turning the overfull feeling over in his mind. He pushed and prodded at the odd sensation, trying to come up with what in the world it could be. 

It had to relate to his parents’ invention. Unfortunately, the day was a fuzzy blur in Danny’s memory and if something in particular had happened to him, he wouldn’t be able to remember it on his own. All he could do on his own was a vague understanding of what had happened.

Getting zapped with one of the newer devices yesterday had resulted in Danny getting split - again. His ghost half had fallen captive to the hero-like obsession of his core, and had gone on a hero-spree. A memory of rescuing a cat from a tree in a very overblown, comic-like way surfaced and Danny buried his face in his hands, embarrassed for himself. “Ugh, I hope nobody videoed that. Or anything else,” he muttered.

His human half had wandered aimlessly through the day, not knowing what to do with no driving force behind everything he did. Vague memories of eating pizza and not noticing the ghost haunting the place next door until Sam pointed it out filtered through the shadows. 

From what he remembered, it hadn’t been a horrible sort of day for either half of him. His ghost half had been allowed to play with his obsession all day and his human half had gotten to just be… human. But he’d been split for much longer than ever before; Tucker and Sam were unable to work through how the strange invention worked. 

Danny didn’t remember being much help with the endeavour. In fact, he sort of remembered his human half stealing the device, passing it to his ghost half, and the thing getting placed on top of the school for the afternoon. Jazz finally got it using some of the newer modifications to the Fenton’s vehicle that allowed it to fly. 

By the time the three of them figured out how to reverse the effects, it was late in the evening on the second day - more than 36 hours since being split. Phantom had started to turn more and more ghost, losing more of his humanity each hour, delving deeper and deeper into this hero obsession. His eyes had turned more ghostly, teeth sharpening, fingers turning into claws. Even a cape had started to mist into view.

Danny slowly ran his tongue over his teeth - they were still a bit too sharp - and pulled his hands far enough away from his face to glance at his fingers. They weren’t claws, not like many ghosts had, but… his fingers no longer really looked human. The changes that had happened to his ghost form the last two days appeared to be permanent, even now that they were rejoined back together.

Danny… didn’t want to think about that. Not yet.

And his human half had started to go through changes as well. Danny vaguely remembered - towards the end of the escapade, when he’d convinced himself that he didn’t want to be rejoined with Phantom - trying to avoid everyone and ending up in a tree, floating in a very inhuman way. His totally human form regaining some of its ghost powers.

Danny mentally poked at the odd, full sensation in his chest again. Perhaps it was that his ghost powers had grown while he was separated. Phantom hadn’t been exactly a half-a-ghost when they’d been slammed back together. And Danny had been just a bit of ghost too. Perhaps now he was somehow 60% ghost and 50% human… and his body was trying to adjust to being too much ghost. 

His mind poked at the sensation in his chest just a bit too hard. Danny slammed his eyes shut tight as he felt the sensation of transformation travel through him - lightning sharp and aching into his phantom bones. Panic set in a second later. He couldn’t transform up here - there wasn’t enough oxygen for his human form to breathe. He’d pass out and fall to his death. 

He gasped and threw his arms out, instinctively trying to grab something even though he was on the edge of the atmosphere, as the transformation arced through his arms and legs. He kept his eyes closed as he fumbled for his ghost side. He needed to transform back fast. His human side would already be aching to breathe, desperate for oxygen after the last hour of being in ghost form.

But his ghost side… was… 

Danny opened his eyes as he realized he wasn’t falling. As he realized his ghost form wasn’t something to grab for, because he was still a ghost.

“But…” he whispered, startled and confused. He’d felt himself transform. There was no mistaking the sensation that had swept through him. He looked around, almost as if the answer would be written in the air next to him.

Then the stars caught his gaze. He froze, mouth falling open, as he stared up at the sky. There were more stars than before, the whole sky alight with points of light. And he knew them - with each star he focused his eyes on, he knew what that star was. How far away it was, what it’s name was, what kind of star it was… 

Delight sparkled inside him as he let his gaze drift across the heavens. Stars he didn’t even know existed seemed to soak into his skin, whispering all their secrets in his ears. “How…?” he breathed, twisting around and around and looking everywhere he could. “Why?”

His gaze snagged on the moon, crescent-shaped and gleaming. He almost felt like he was drowning in it’s glow, feeling everything about it. The ice hiding in its craters. The human-built machinery peppering its surface. The soft warmth still coiling in its dying core. He could just… go there. He could be there in about three seconds. He could just…

He threw up a hand, blocking the moon’s glow, blinking hard and pushing the thoughts out of his mind. “Holy shit,” he whispered, breathing hard, focusing on Earth, on human thoughts, on normalcy. “What is this?”

Then he saw his hand, thin fingers topped with sharp claws, glove missing. His forehead furrowed as he realized both his gloves were gone, as was the logo on his chest, and the white belt around his waist. A black shirt and black pants. His boots looked like his normal shoes, just moon-lit white. Actually, minus the claws and some color changes, he looked… like he had yesterday. “Uh… What is going on with me?” 

He could feel the pull of the stars overhead. He knew he could just lean back, put his arms behind his head, and float there, watching the sky forever. Just revel in space for all time. Instead, he kept his gaze down towards the tops of the clouds. 

At least the first step of what he should do now was clear. Whenever he was dealing with anything out of the ordinary, Sam and Tucker knew what to say. They’d help. He’d go home, grab his phone, and call them. 

Danny flew towards Amity Park-

-and suddenly drew to a stop. He twisted around, eyes wide, realizing that he’d somehow overshot his home by a dozen miles or more. “What the fuck?” he said. He’d only been flying for a moment - how was he all the way over here? “I…”

He licked his lips and tried again. He set his gaze on Amity Park and flew-

-right past Amity Park again. It was an eyeblink of time between one side of the city and the other. Danny hung in the air, confused and slightly annoyed. “What is going on?” he said. A new power, obviously - but one that had unfortunate timing. His fingers curled, the claws digging uncomfortably into his palms. “This is what I get for leaving my phone behind,” he groused. The phone wouldn’t have done well in the thin, cold atmosphere. Even if he’d have brought it with, there was no guarantee it would have still been working. 

“Are all my powers wonky?” Danny asked, raising his hand and pushing energy into his hand. Instead of a steady, gas-like glow, the energy sparkled and hissed, like he was holding onto an exploding firework. “Odd.”

His powers were working differently, so it was time to try using them differently. Time to change tactics. Instead of focusing on a direction, Danny focused his mind on a destination. He closed his eyes, picturing where exactly he wanted to end up. Opening his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to fly as slowly as possible.

The world seemed to blur and twist, glowing uncomfortably bright for the fraction of a second Danny allowed himself to be in motion. When the world settled back into place, Danny found himself hovering about ten feet off the ground, within the city of Amiry Park, only about a half-mile from his house. “That worked a lot better,” he said, rather pleased with himself.

Instead of chancing another attempt at flying, Danny figured he’d turn himself human. A ten foot drop wouldn’t be too bad, and he could walk home. It would be the least-tricky way to get home. He took a moment to worry that this new power would prevent him from turning human as easily as normal, but then slammed that idea shut and closed his eyes. 

Danny pushed his ghost form away, pulling at that warm and heavy feeling in his mind. There was a sparkling sensation in his mind, then the sharp pain that came with turning himself human again. He dropped, landing lightly on his toes, breathing a heavy sigh of relief that at least this was still normal. He bounced a few times, testing out a few basic powers - invisibility seemed to work like normal, as did phasing through things. He didn’t try floating, for fear of accidentally ending up two towns over and two hundred feet above the ground in human form.

He walked home, rubbing his chest at that strange, too-full sensation, and snuck in the back door. Despite the fact that all the lights were out, he kept himself invisible to avoid his parents. It was so far past curfew that Danny didn’t even want to think about the trouble he’d be in if they realized he was still out. 

His bedroom door was still locked. Danny phased through it, flipped on the lights, and dumped himself into his bed. “Ugh,” he groaned, feeling the drain of the last two days on his body. He glanced over at the clock. Just before two in the morning. Part of him wanted to just curl up in his bed and fall asleep, try to get a few hours of sleep before tackling school tomorrow. But too much of him had a tight ball of anxious curiosity.

He groaned as he rolled out of bed and stepped in front of his mirror. He looked awful. Dark rings under his eyes and a horrible, pale tone to his skin. He looked half dead. “On the positive side, nobody will question it if I want to stay home sick tomorrow,” he muttered. He shuddered and shifted his weight, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then triggered the transformation.

His ghost form spread like lightning across his skin, slammed through his head, and settled into his chest like a cold ball of fire. He squeaked one eye open just a touch, not sure of what he was going to see. 

Phantom was peering back at him. Danny relaxed, letting his eyes open, and studied himself. From more than a few feet away, he looked absolutely normal. But up close, there were minor changes from the last few days. Teeth that were too pointy. Fingers that were a little more claw-like than normal. Hair that was more… smokey. Just a little. His mouth twisted, unsure of how he felt about the changes. “At least there’s no cape,” he murmured. “I’d look too much like Vlad with a cape.”

He squared his shoulders, set his teeth, and tried flying. He floated up and moved around his bedroom like normal. “So normal.” He caught sight of his claws and shivered. “Mostly.”

“Now…” He took a deep breath and jabbed hard at the over-full feeling in his chest. He was half-hoping nothing would happen. But light sparkled along his body, that tingling almost-painful sensation changing him in very subtle ways. His clothes changed from a jumpsuit to shirt and pants, his shoes looked like they would squeak on the floor as he walked. He was still glowing and transparent. “I’m… a different ghost?” He spread out his arms, feet firmly on the floor afraid to hover. “And I have like… superspeed.”

He took a very careful step forwards, peering closely at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked the same, with the normal green glow. His teeth were sharper, canines almost like little fangs. And… he leaned in, studying his freckles. They glowed, star-like, forming constellations across his skin. 

His mind veered off tangent, remembering the stars overhead, the glittering facts that swirled through his mind, the odd bubbling joy that came with even thinking about space. The freckles on his cheeks rearranged themselves into the constellation Draco, and sparks and speckles swirled into life across his clothes. A supernova that resolved itself into the stars overhead. Danny could trace the stars in his clothes, knew everything about each star. He was caught by the strongest urge to fly there. To zip through space to Alrakis, a binary star system eighty-eight light years away. It would only take him 221 years, 5 months, and 3 days…

Danny jerked himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t fly for over two hundred years. He shuddered and blinked, settling back on his heels. The glowing freckles on his face settled down, his clothes faded back to black. The familiar sort of pitch-black of space. The sort of black Danny imagined the universe looked like before stars existed. “I have space powers now,” Danny realized, his voice slow and excited. “I have space powers! I’m a space ghost!”

Curious, Danny poked at that over-full feeling in his chest again. The world tingled and flashed, and he was back to his old self. Phantom, with the logo and the better posture and the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. “I’m two ghosts, somehow? Two ghosts… and a human...” Danny stared at himself in the mirror. “Or...” he rested his hand on his chest, feeling that strange overly-full feeling. “Or something…?”

Danny shook his head, not sure where to even begin processing that one. Then he turned himself human again, watching the world get dark as the ghost energy faded away. He scratched at his scalp, trundled over to his bed, and dropped into its softness. 

There wasn’t much he knew right then. The first was that space powers were the coolest power he could have gotten. And the second was that all this would be easier to process after a few hours of sleep and a large cup of caffeine. 

[peachhcs]

Love Languages

Pairings Luke Patterson x reader

Summary Luke asks the reader what love languages are. 

Warnings none but fluff :)

Word Count 1.8k (short I know but I'm working on it)

I haven’t really written on Tumblr before so don’t judge too harshly because there’s some insanely talented people on here who might judge hahaha. (hopefully not though) I don't know what the boy’s love languages are so I kind of just assumed based off of what we saw but I did see somewhere that someone said Luke’s was touch so I just went with it. 

Gif is not mine so credit to the owner! I don’t know if anyone has done this idea before but I kind of like it because it popped into my head last night. Anyways, enjoy!! :) p.s. I sort of left this on a cliff hanger but idk if i’m going to continue it or not hahaha

PART 2

* * *

You were seated peacefully on the couch as you worked away on your laptop while listening to Julie and the guys practice a few songs for this weekend’s upcoming gig. You always loved listening to them practice, they sounded like absolute angels and you would never get tired of listening to them. However, Luke thought you should be doing your homework somewhere else because he didn’t want them to be distracting to you but truthfully, you really didn’t mind. If you were being honest, it actually helped you focus and the music didn’t let your brain wander. 

You glanced up at the group after realizing they had stopped playing. Julie met your eyes with a warm smile, already reading your mind,

“We’re just taking a break. I got to catch up on some homework.” Julie explained to her best friend. You nodded in response, smiling slightly as she went back to work. The boys were talking amongst themselves over by the piano, using hushed voices so whatever they were talking about you or Julie couldn’t hear. 

By some weird magical notion, you were able to see the boys even when they weren’t playing like Julie could. They haven’t been able to figure out why yet, though. Why you could see the guys but their other best friend, Flynn, couldn’t. Or why Luke’s parents couldn’t see him either but you still could. It was all just one big mystery they were all still unravelling. They had a theory that it had something to do with their unfinished business and the connections they all shared with one another, but that was yet to be explored with you and the boys. Julie and the boys sort of figured out how they were connected, but they hadn’t gotten that far with you yet. 

Julie made an attempt one time to suggest that maybe it was because you were so close with Luke ever since you guys met, the connection just helped you see all of them, but you chose to deny that theory. Especially when Julie threw the word feelings into the mix. Julie knew all too well about your “little”crush on the lead guitarist. There was no doubt that she caught on to it right away when the pair first met and hit off right away. From there, she proceeded to question you about it once they went back to her room. Of course you denied, denied, denied, but after awhile you finally gave in and agreed to your best friend’s observation. Julie saw all the looks that you two exchanged and she knew very well about the boys talking about you here and there. It was just a matter of time until one of you finally broke and admitted your stupid feelings for one another.

“Hey..Y/n?” The cautious voice made you glance up from your computer, first looking at Julie thinking it was her who called your name but then turning your head to the boys who were glancing at you with quizzical looks. 

“Yeah?” You ask glancing at Luke since he was the one who spoke up. You watch as the boys exchange a glance with one another and you push your eyebrow up in confusion. You meet eyes with Julie for a moment who was now looking between the boys and you just as confused as you were. 

“We have a question.” 

“Well, Luke does, but we’re curious too.” Alex cut in before you could respond. You chuckle slightly at their visible nervousness about what they wanted to ask. 

“Okay, shoot.” You gave them your full attention, pushing your computer screen down and a small smile sat content on your lips. Julie also gave them her full attention too, because she was equally as curious as to what they could possibly be asking you.

“What..what does love languages mean? We heard you and Julie talking about it yesterday..” Luke’s asks softly. Oh. That was what they were asking..Your face goes a little red at the thought of them hearing your conversation yesterday since it started out as band schedule and then led into your crush per usual. You glanced to Julie for help who only shook her head with a quick shrug.

“They asked you, not me. Take it away, sister.” Julie laughed and your face went even redder. It wasn’t an inappropriate question or anything, you just didn’t really know how to describe it. Or because it meant talking about feelings and relationships which was something you didn't really want to get into with them, especially Luke. 

“Uhh.. well.. I guess it’s a certain way somebody likes to express their love for someone. There’s different types of love languages like um, touch, words, gifts, spending time with that person, and doing nice things I guess..” You trail off slightly while scratching the back of your head, feeling a little flustered. 

“What do you think my love language is?” Alex asks excitedly, not really to you but just to anyone who would answer him. 

“I see yours being affirming words or something like spending time with them. You always love it when someone compliments you and reassures you if you’re having too much anxiety about something.” Julie cuts in with a smile and Alex points to her to say she was correct. Julie chuckles and you do too. 

“Reggie, yours would definitely be gifts or like spending time with people. You always like to hang around Ray and stuff.” You say glancing at Reggie who smiles warmly at your statement. 

“What about me?” You met eyes with Luke who was softly looking at you. You avoided Julie’s burning gaze into your head and Alex and Reggie’s small smirks as they waited for you to answer. You flushed again, looking to Julie for help who only shrugged. They both knew you knew the answer, that was what you guys had been talking about yesterday. 

“I’m..I’m not really sure..” You lied and you hated the small hint of disappointment in Luke’s eyes. You quickly looked away and started to reopen your laptop.

“Hey, I’m hungry, I’m gonna grab some snacks. Y/n do you wanna come with?” Julie asks making an escape for you to avoid the now awkward tension in the room.

“Yeah. Yeah.” You were quickly nodding your head and jumping up from your laptop. You didn’t even wait for Julie as you made a beeline for the garage doors and pushed them open, hurrying up the pathway to Julie’s house. 

Julie exchanged a knowing glance with the boys, reading Alex and Reggie’s glances before following after you saying you’d be back in a minute. You were pacing around on the patio when Julie finally got to you. She raised her eyebrows slightly trying to read your thoughts. 

“Y/n, why did you lie? That could have been the perfect opportunity to tell him how you feel.” Julie says and you shoot her a small glare. 

“Julie, he doesn’t like me like that. I just didn't want to embarrass myself but I guess I embarrassed myself even more by saying nothing.” You admit, slowing your pacing to look Julie in the eye. She lets out a small laugh.

“I don’t think you embarrassed yourself. You were just flustered which is understandable, but I say go for it. You never know what can happen. The Y/n I know doesn’t back down from a challenge either.” Julie puts a comforting arm on your shoulder and you were thankful for it. You squeeze her hand in response.

“Thanks. I don’t know, I guess I’ve just never felt this way about someone before..” You trail off and Julie squeezes your shoulder even tighter,

“Look, I get it, it’s scary, but you can do it. Think of this as me encouraging you to talk to him like you did for me and Nick. Just go for it. Have some confidence.” Julie winked at you and you chuckle at her actions. 

“There’s the Y/n I know. Now come on, we still need to get snacks. I gotta make my lie somewhat believable.” Julie nudged your side before making her way inside as you followed after he with a laugh. 

The two of you walk back into the garage a few moments later where the boys met your glances. Luke was now moved onto your spot on the couch while Alex and Reggie hung around by the piano still. You rolled your eyes that Luke took your spot but at least he was gracious enough to move your computer. You walked over to him where he smirked as you made an attempt to move him out of the way. 

“Get out of my spot.” You tease trying to move Luke out of the way again but he didn’t budge and instead kept holding that smirk on his lips. You rolled your eyes so you instead took a seat beside him and grabbed your laptop from the coffee table. 

“I’ll move if you tell me what you think my love language is.” Luke says and you quickly met his eyes. You glanced at Alex, Reggie, and Julie for a moment where they only shrugged. You huffed under her breath knowing you had no way out of this now. 

“I don’t know.” You say simply trying to get off of the topic but Luke kept pushing. He leaned in closer towards you and you could feel his breath on your neck. 

“I think you do..” Luke says and you meet his gaze again. You purse your lips together before glancing back at your computer for a moment. 

“Touch.” You say plainly and simply. You refused to meet Luke’s eyes as you furthered your answer, “I always noticing you touching Alex or Reggie in one way or another. Whether it’s something small or a hug or just a reason to touch them. It’s sweet.” You finish a small smile on your lips as you opened the tab you had been working on previously. A comfortable silence filled the room and you felt pretty content with your answer. It wasn't as bad or as embarrassing as you thought it would be. Luke was silent beside you and you were afraid to look at him so you just kept her gaze on your computer. 

You didn’t actually know if you could touch the boys, you just assumed you couldn’t because Julie was the only one with the real special powers. You had just been randomly gifted parts of them somehow. You all just walked around each other because the guys found it slightly weird to just walk through people they knew. Luke stared at you beside him and he wanted to at least try. If anything, his hand would just fall through like it did with everyone, so slowly and carefully, Luke reached out to turn your chin so you would look at him. The guys raised his eyebrow at his movements and then, he touched you. 

You felt his hand under your chin and you both did a double take. Luke quickly pulled his hand away in surprise that you actually felt that. The two of you exchanged a wondering and surprised glance. 

“We just touched..” 

[simpingfortheages]

//Test it out//

You know what pineapple does...come on ;) you know...

Ally Mayfair x Fem reader

(FLUFF! SMUT But fluff too...is-is cute ngl)

Reader comes home and sees Ally in bed, one thing leads to another.

Source: mirandascroft (sorry :( idk how to add gifs on tumblr but i still gave credit :)

Long days at the office weighed down on you so much that your shoulders ached and sagged as you walked. The feeling of every muscle in your body screaming for you to lie down, to sit, to do something other than stand. You sloppily toed off your shoes that your wore for 9 hours, leaving them to clatter in a corner. Ally will understand. The cool board floor was heavenly on your sore feet , a cool reminder that Ally probably had the AC on a few hours ago. It seemed as though just by being home it was the remedy you needed.

Tossing the hefty bag from your pained shoulder onto the counter also added to your satisfaction. A smile crept its way upon your lips, just at the idea of not having to touch that laptop bag for the next two days. "Ally?" you called out for you girlfriend. Your girlfriend for 1 year and 10 months to be precise. The best decision you ever made was to walk into that restaurant,"Ally baby?" there was no answer to your reply the first time. The further you walked into the house and made your way into the living room, you already knew that she was passed out in bed. The glass that remained with 1 inch red wine left on the short side table gave you your answer.

With an extra happiness and pep in your step you skipped your way up the stairs, jumping past every 2 steps. If Ally were awake and saw that, she would scold you for setting a bad example for Oz, which luckily for you was away spending the night with one of his schoolmates. As you continued to make your way upstairs, the white door to yours and Ally's bedroom came into view. Trying to stay as quiet as possible you pushed open the door which gave a small creak, you always mentioned to Ally about fixing that, but the brunette refused to get it oiled because she liked hearing when you came home. It was a sweet gesture.

The sight of your girlfriend on the bed that you both shared made your heart swell with love. After all the trauma and terrible things she faced before she became the senator, you made it your number one priority to shower her with all the love and care that she deserved. The floor board groaned softly beneath your naked feet as you tip toed your way to the side of the queen sized bed. There she laid sprawled out on the sheets, wearing your button up flannel shirt, hugging your pillow with one leg hitched upon it. The pillow had a faded scent of the lavender perfume you famously wore. It was Ally's favourite, she said it 'made her feel safe'. You never questioned it so you continued to wear it every day.

The 2 empty bottles situated on your wooden dresser proved that point. Before you keeled down to bestow a kiss on her soft skin, you noticed a small plastic container...was it? noo, she wouldn't. She promised to share. The irresistible smell of the pineapple juice that collected at the bottom of the container was calling you. Without thinking you lifted the container to your lips and drank the remainder of the fruit you both promised to share. You eyes opened wide at the taste of how sweet the pineapple was, after you drank every drop, you rested the bowl back on the night stand.

Apparently the soft thud against the wooden table caused the sleeping senator in the bed to stir awake. As Ally shifted on the bed to turn and face you, the loose buttoned shirt that she wore began to ride up her thighs, allowing her pink underwear to peak through. Ally stopped hugging your pillow and fully rotated her body which made her shirt move even more to reveal that your girlfriend wore no bra. She was everything that you loved, the perfect woman and person whom you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Her brown eyes slowly began to open but it wasn't opened all the way, with eyes still filled with sleep Ally squinted at you as a small smile adorned her face.

"hi baby.." her voice was soft and raspy from now waking up but it was filled with glee. " hi baby" you replied with happiness in yours. Ally sat up on the bed and neatly folded her legs as she outstretched her hands for a hug. You didn't move, instead you shot her a toothy grin and narrowed your eyes at her in a joking manner. "Where's my share Al?" the adorable look of realization that dawned on Ally's face as she turned her head to look at the empty container. "OH baby, I am sorry, it was just really sweet. It was one of the sweetest ones you brought home" she pouted her bottom lip and gave you puppy eyes.

Of course you fell for it. You playfully rolled your eyes as you shrugged off your work jacket, and threw it on the chair that already had clothes from previous work days,"Well Ms Mayfair, your going to have to pay me back for that." Ally quirked an eyebrow at your sudden statement and flopped her hand down on the bed with a loud huff, "well y/n I can buy you back one tomorrow." you shook your head 'no' at her way to rectifying the situation. You knew she was a little salty now from the lack of attention she was receiving. Usually you'd shower her in kisses and take the hug that she offered when you came home, however you had another plan in store. Ally furrowed her eyebrows,"well how to make it back up to you?". You knew exactly how she could repay you.

After you removed most of your work clothes you were standing at the bedside in only your shirt with a cute fuming Ally in the bed."Don't look at me like that. You ate all the pineapple that YOU promised we'd share, I came home all excited to eat it." Ally scoffed loudly at your reply, her eyebrows went up in shock,"So that's ALLLLL you came home excited for y/n?" she threw her hands up in frustration."Yes Ally. I did" at this point the senator folded her arms tightly against her chest staring daggers at you with an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"omg Ally of course I am kidding, I came home for YOUUU toooo.." you jumped on the bed and lovingly wrapped your arms around her. To make up for rejecting her hug from before you showered her with kisses all over her pouted lips, and face. Ally's fake being angry demeanor broke when your lips trailed to her neck. She always giggled when you kissed there , she was ticklish. It was one of the things your adored and did quite often to get a reaction out of her. "Y/N Stopp!!" Ally laughed uncontrollably, she pressed the heels of her palm into your chest to try and push you off, but you were relentless."Are you ready to pay me back now?" you pulled away to allow her to catch her breathe.

"wa-wait so...so the tickle attack wasn't the payback?" Ally spoke through her struggle to regulate her breathing." NO way, you owe me big time sooo..." you stopped mid sentence to make sure she was listening to you."SOO what y/n? you know I don't like being left in suspense" you playfully rolled your eyes at her impatience,"SOooo.. you remembered that article that we read and thought was a lie?" you said watching the small gears turn in Ally's head. When she realized what you meant, a pink blush crept it's way onto her chest and face.

"I mean you do owe me baby."you continued to plant more kisses atop her flushed skin, however this time it was slow and filled with a sensual intent. Ally craned her neck to the side to expose more of her skin for you to place your lips upon,"I- i'd like to try that" the way that she stuttered her words were heavenly, you knew you had her where you wanted.When you reached her pulse point you bite down roughly and sucked at the area until you were sure that blood rushed to the surface. You usually weren't allowed to leave hickies on her since she had work, but due to her winning the last election she had gotten a lot more time off to relax and that meant staying home a little longer with you.

Ally laced her hands through your hair as you marked her beautiful skin, while she pulled at your roots for every bite you made. An almost silent whimper escaped Ally's lips, a small indication that she wanted more. Over the months of being together you learnt the little signs she gave when she wanted something. One of the ways being the way she would begin to chew on her nails when she is hungry or the way that she would start to clean when she is stressed, you learned Ally inside out and you loved every inch of her.

With every kiss you bestowed upon her soft skin, you whispered a small ' i love you'. It was soft but Ally was close enough to hear every word. She cherished these moments with you, the way you managed to make every second with her something special and memorable. It was something she held dearly to her heart. As you trailed your lips lower and lower, the coldness in the room made her skin pebbled, the hairs on her body stood up as well with the more kisses you left on her. Touching and caressing every freckle that beautified her body. She was a walking masterpiece indeed. And she was yours.

Watching at how cute and desperately her hips bucked for your attention, you adorned her inner thighs with more kisses, spitefully skipping past the area you knew she needed you the most."Please y/n, I needed you since before you came ho-home. I didn't even try anything" her words invoked a fire within you, a fire fueled with desire and passion to please your girlfriend. Especially since she held back for so long. Out of the kindness in your heart, you decided to skip the foreplay and get right to it. Immediately you wrapped your plump lips around her pink bundle of nerves, sucking in sharp bursts to invoke more pleasure. Your girlfriend threw her head back against the pillows below as she laced and entangled her hands into your hair.

Words mixed of profanity and your name were continuously being moaned and whimpered from Ally's mouth. Hearing her curse shot straight heat to your own core. It was sexy, Ally never used words like that even in anger when Ozzy was around. Thank God he wasn't, you silently thanked the universe."oh Yes Y/n Suck it suck it suck it.." her lewd comments caused the flaem inside of you to burn brighter. You softly kitten licked at her clit, bringing your tongue's attention to the dripping arousal that was caused by you. Slipping your tongue pain stalking slow through her swollen pink folds, to gather and collect the sweet arousal you've been waiting to taste for so long. Ally's nails scrapped along your scalp from the sensation of your tongue.

She was basically dripping honey. The aroma.The taste...all of it was addictive and you couldn't get enough. As you lapped at her cunt, the senator, whose legs you were currently between,were clamping down on your head.It'd really be the best way to go out. But you were far from finished."Ally...we seem to have a problem." you spoke from between her legs, your girlfriend parted her legs and looked at you with worry,"what's the problem?".

"It's just that you taste sweeter than the pineapple." the blood rushed to Ally's cheek making her blush."And why's that bad?" she questioned."It's just that I can't get enough.." you smirked in reply as you returned your head to her dripping core. Taking your middle and ring finger, you ran it up her slit to gather her arousal.As you did so, you toyed at her dripping entrance causing Ally to whimper once more, having teased her enough, you plunged your fingers into her pussy.

Immediately her back arched off the bed, the weak springs in the bed creaked as your woman moved in pleasure. Her head twisting and turning on the pillow. Never stopping from moving inside her, you curled your fingers, grazing and caressing her g spot. She was pulling you in, her warm tight muscles begging for more of you as her arousal dripped down your hand. You loved every moment of this."Faster y/n ...fas-" her second orgasm stopped her mid sentence overtaken by loud moans. Hands fisting and gathering your hair in her palms as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her head was empty of everything else but your name which she yelled till high heaven.

Your eyes locked onto her pussy, watching as her sensitive entrance fluttered trying to regain normalcy. You couldn't just lay between her legs watching her delicious essence drip onto the sex stained sheet. Ally was tired from her two highs that she had in a row, but she didn't know you intended to collect the rest of her."Ahh shit y/n baby please- please I can't" she felt you softly lick her, she was now pushing your head away from her center.

Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes as she pleaded, it was the most intense orgasm she has had in a while. Looking up at her you smiled and complied to the words of your girlfriend."Very well baby." You missed moments and times like this, just you and her. Usually after sex she would be off scurrying to finish off some work instead of laying beside you. "Next time you'll get to eat the pineapple. I wanna try it.." Ally spoke seductively yet there was a hint of sleepiness in her voice. You turned your head and took in her disheveled state. Only you got to see the pristine and up tight Ally Mayfair like this... you were lucky and grateful for her.

Your girlfriend shot you a small wink before getting off of the bed and making her way to the bathroom, giving you a full view of her plump naked ass. Swaying her hips as she walked away. That was all yours, and you planned to make it so. The diamond ring tucked away behind your clothes in your dresser held that promise...

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

[sirenreading]

Mobsters Son

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

paring: Biker!Din x Waitress!Oc(black female)

Word count: 1.7k

Warning: cigarettes use, pining, oral sex (female reserving), PIV, unprotected sex.

A/N: this is the first time i’m posting a fic on tumblr (instead of ao3) idk i kinda just wanna post my works on here instead i guess this would be a good start. also sorry for any mistakes!

(credit to gif owner i found it on pinterest)

Din was the son of New York's most scarred Mob Boss, Everybody knew of the Djarins. Din never had a bad grade on a paper, Never got into any trouble with the law, Even when he bent it. He had the easiest life, People were too scared to refuse him. He didn't have to worry about women refusing him either. But not in the creepy way he'd force them if they said no way, They all just wanted a try at the richest man(of their age) in Manhattan. He got whatever he wanted, Until he met Tia.

Tia worked at a local diner over in Brooklyn where she also lived, A nice collage girl, Studying to be director. Her actual dream was to act but she would take any job in the industry.

Din only knew of Tia because he was good friends with her older cousin, Rocky, who he went to high school with, He’d seen her at one of her family's cookout’s a few summers ago when she first graduated high school.

Din pulled up to the diner on his bike, Parking across the street, He rested on the seat of his bike to watch Tia take a couples order, He examined her, Noticing her fresh silk pressed hair, Which she’d just dyed ginger a couple of weeks ago. Said she wanted a change to her appearance, At least that's what Rocky told him she said.

Tia walked back into the diner to retrieve the couples drinks and on her way out noticed Din across the street leaning on his bike, Pulling out a cigarette, She shook her head knowing exactly why he was there and placed the drinks in front of the couple and letting them know their food would be right out, And again drew her attention to Din, Who’s eyes never left her.

She sat her notepad and pen down, Making her way over to Din. He, in response, threw his cig to the ground and stepped it out, He knew she hated it when he smoked. He just needed to grab her attention. As she walked over Din could see her ochre- brown skin, Glissin in the pale moonlight.

“What are you doing here Din, I'm working.”

She said, Standing in front of him, Hand on her hip.

“Well darling, I'm waiting for you to get off so I can take you on our date.”

Din gave her a cheeky smile.

“Date? Din Since when did I agree to go on a date with you?”

“Since right now.”

Tia let out an annoyed sigh and turned to get back to the diner and finish her shift, Which Din knew needed at 9pm every Friday.

Tia finished her shift and made her way outside after clocking out.

“Cmon Tia, Let me at least give you a ride home.”

Tia rolled her eyes before replying.

“Fine, Where are we going on this lil date.”

“Get on and i'll show you”

He winked getting back on the bike starting the engine.

He handed her his helmet and rode off.

They rode off through the city till they got to Din’s penthouse. He parked his bike in the parking garage and helped Tia off, Taking the helmet off as well.

They took the elevator up and the doors opened to reveal Din’s home. His dad bought him this place as a gift after he graduated high school a couple years before Tia. He told him it was his starter home and he’d be able to afford a bigger one once he took his father’s place as the head boss, which he only agreed to because he didn't want his younger brother getting caught up in the business.

“Go make yourself comfortable, I'll be right there.”

Din took his ringing phone from out of his pocket and went into another room.

Tia knew it was most likely his dad with business so she obeyed and took her shoes off sitting on his couch. She reached for the remote and looked for something to watch as Din walked back into the living room.

“Yeah a large pizza, Pepperoni, thank you.”

Hanging up and making his way over to the couch.

“Pizza will be up in 15, What do you want to watch?”

Tia flipped through the TV before landing on ‘Rear Window’.

“Movie nerd.”

Din mocked as he clapped which made the lights in the room turn off, Tia snuggled into Din as the movie started, Din put his arm around her.

After a few minutes of them snuggling and whispering back and forth barely paying attention to the movie, The buzzer on Din’s door went off, The food was here.

Din buzzed the guy out, Taking his wallet out and pulling out a $100 bill.

Once the elevator door opened he grabbed the pizza box and handed the kid who looked no more than 17 the $100 telling him to keep the change.

Tia sat up from her comfortable spot on the sofa as Din brought the pizza over, before walking towards the fridge to grab them both a beer.

“Beer and pizza, how romantic.”

Tia teased.

Din rolled his eyes, taking a bite into the steaming hot pizza using his hand as a plate to catch the crumbs.

Once they’d both finished Din sat back next to Tia on the sofa locking eyes with her as she whipped the tomato sauce off of her mouth.

“What are you staring at Djarin?”

“Just my beautiful woman, that's all.”

“Oh ‘yours’ really?”

Tia smiled from cheek to cheek, Din loved her smile. It was the only way you could see her dimple located on the left side of her face.

Din closed open space in between them by taking her lips in his.

He took her face into his hands and brought her closer before breaking the kiss to throw his t-shirt from over his head.

Tia quickly grabbed his face again, connecting their lips together, Once again.

Din began to remove Tia’s shorts, But she quickly stopped him.

“Can we maybe take this to the bedroom, I don't think we'll have much room out here.”

Referring to the thin couch that was definitely only made for sitting

Din picked her up, Her arms and legs immediately wrapping around his neck and waist.

Din pushed the door of his room open with his hip, And laid Tia flat out on the bed.

Tia began to unbutton her work shirt as Din finished pulling off her shorts leaving her in only underwear.

She reached down to unzip Dins pants before he grabbed her hand with his hand, Holding it so hard you could see his veins.

“I’ll take care of you first, Okay?”

Tia looked up at him through her lashes, Her almost black doe eyes made her look so innocent.

He slowly got down on his knees at the edge of the bed, Kissing up her thick thighs, finally meeting her inner thigh. Tia threw her head back, he barely touched her and still had this effect on her.

Din kissed all the way up her thighs till he made it to the white fabric that protected what he wanted most. He began to slide them down her thighs, Finally leaving her fully exposed to him. He threw her underwear onto his desk. Din hopped on her way out; she would forget it's there and leave him a souvenir.

Din stuck his head back between her warth and began to slowly lick her juices, Gripping her thighs as he pushed forward into her wetness. She tasted amazing, Tia moaned, her eyes rolling behind her back. Din licked up all her wetness till all that was left was his saliva mixed with it.

He began to unzip his pants, dropping them and his underwear down and climbing on top of Tia.

“You don't want me to-”

“Maybe another time baby i just wanna be inside you for now,”

He stroked her cheek before bringing his hand down to line his cock with her entrance.

He tipped the head of his cock into her wet slit, finally pushing into her slowly, letting her adjust to his size first.

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

“Ugh baby, You're so tight. All nice and wet for me.” He stuck his face into her neck as he slowly stroked into her, wanting to shaver their first time together .

Din finally started picking up his pase resting his forehead on hers, As she rested her hands on his bottom gripping his cheeks; Pushing him farther inside of her.

Dins thrust started to become sloppy signaling he was close.

“Are you about to-”

“Not until you come first.” He said cutting her off.

Tia shook her head, and began to rub herself, hoping to speed up her organism so they could come together. Thankfully it worked, She began to milk around him, gripping his shoulders and back as she felt the feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Where should I come baby?” Din tried to slow his strokes down.

“You can come inside me, I'm on the pill.” Tia huffed out, sweat coming down from her forehead to her freshly plucked brow.

Din did as he was told and released inside of her, emptying himself completely before collapsing next to her.

After catching his breath he sat up reaching over onto his desk, grabbing a cigarette, putting it between his lips and lighting it with a table lighter. Tia moved over resting her head on Din’s sweaty chest, she could hear his heart racing.

Tia began to close her eyes, almost drifting, exhausted from work and the workout she just had.

“Nope not yet baby, Let me go run you a bath.” Din said,putting his cig on the ashtray; rushing to the bathroom and running the water in his tub, adding oils and bubbles to relax her.

Once the water had gotten hot enough, He went back into his room and carried her to the tub slowly putting her in making sure not to wet her still fresh but sweat out hair, he knew she’d be pissed.

“I’ll pay for you to get your hair done again baby already? I'll pay for everything you need just ask.” He said, kissing her neck as she relaxed into him.

“i could get used to this.” She smiled.

****

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[tooweirdforyou]

Chapter Two » Target

A/N: I’m trying to figure out if it’d be better for me to post on another website instead of tumblr, where it isn’t really a site meant for fics yk? But I can’t decide which to post on, like Ao3 or Quotev,

Chapter One | Masterlist | Chapter Three

-

“Hey—“

“No.”

You do a double take at the quick rejection, sputtering in shock. “I haven’t said anything yet!” You protest, waving your arms in the air in front of him.

“The answer is no, Miss [Lastname].” Axel says, releasing an exasperated sigh. Groaning in annoyance and frustration, you huff and look at him with desperate eyes.

Your pleading expression makes the male push up his glasses and clear his throat, clearly avoiding your face. “..no.”

Axel continues his walk to the car, remaining avoidant and ignorant of your facial expression. Your pestering and lingering body towards his makes him tense, as he brings a hand up to his face to block his peripheral vision. “..Would you quit that?”

“No.”

You grin cheekily and the male breathes out from his nostrils, clearly growing annoyed with you already. “You know what? Very well, Miss [ Lastname ]. Let’s go.”

You widen your eyes with delight and cheer. “Yes! Time for some boba!”

Running off towards the car excitedly, Axel could only watch with eyes of disbelief at how much you adored the bubble drink.

Yet, he couldn’t suppress the defeated smile he wore.

On your way to the car, having just exited your father’s former building that you were no in charge of, you fail to see a particular pinkette in the all white police uniform, appearing nervous and shaky as he makes his way up the steps and into the building by himself.

Axel, however, notices the uniform immediately. “Police? What reasons do they have for being here?...” his eyes lingered in the direction of the entrance before he turned away.

‘..Maybe I’m overthinking..’

Hesitantly, Axel pushes the thought to the side as he continues on his merry way towards the car, getting a sudden uneasy filling stirring inside him regardless.

“H-Hi, I was hoping to see Miss [Name Lastname]?” The pinkette asks the front desks shyly, scratching the side of his cheek with his index finger, securing his blue glasses above his head as well.

“My apologies, sir, but Miss [Lastname] just left, she finished a meeting with some lawyers just now.”

Koby’s eyes widens at that news. “She just left?”

The male is quick to rush outside and scans around the building area, finding none recognizable faces but a sleek black car driving off.

“Ah.. I missed her?..” he sweatdrops at the realization of possibly having just passed her and the certain lecture he’ll received for a rice cracker loving chief. “Oh no..”

“Would you like me to come in with you?” Axel questions, glancing to the girl beside him as he parks the car to the side, right outside the boba tea shop.

“Nah, I’ll be quick. Want anything?” You hum, beginning to take off your seatbelt and reaching to make sure you had cash.

Axel ponders for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m fine.” He responds, holding out a credit card for you.

Thanking him, you stare at him for a moment before snorting. “Yeah, right. Strawberry with boba bursts right?” You giggle at Axel’s sputter and hint of pink cheeks.

“Oi, shut it, you! You better not—“

“Okay, I’ll be back with our drinks!” You sing, quickly opening the door and shutting it behind you loudly.

Axel huffs and looks away, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the young girl but couldn’t help the tiny smile that formed on his lips.

But it quickly faded away. “Wait, was she wearing a mask?” He thought before leaning back in the car seat. “No.. it’ll be fine.” He mumbles to himself.

“Welcome to Asia Boba, what can I get you?” The friendly worker asks with a patient smile, making you do the same.

“Can I get [ boba drink ] and a strawberry milk tea with strawberry bursts? Both large, please!”

“Of course, anything else?”

“No, that’s all, thank you.” Handing the card over, you wait patiently and look around the shop curiously, glancing at a couple of the customers before taking the card and receipt back with you.

“Your drinks will be made shortly, we’ll call out your name so may I get your—“

“It’s [Name], [N-A-M-E]. Thanks!”

You walk off towards the side and lean against the side of the wall, pulling a strand of your hair behind your ear as you waited patiently.

Meanwhile, a particular navigator leans on her palm, bringing her drink up to her lips as she sat with her leg crossed over the other, pouting.

“How are we going to find the daughter of a multi-millionaire in a big city like this?” She sulks, looking through the news on her phone in her other hand.

The woman across from her, adorning a simple purple hat over her luscious black hair, smiles. “Give it time, Nami. We’ll find her somehow.”

Nami frowns but slowly nods as she looks around the store mindlessly, until her eyes stop on you.

“...” she stares blankly for a few minutes, finding your outer appearance a little familiar, glancing back to her phone instinctively and abruptly gasps.

“It’s you!”

She slams her hands on the table as she stands up, eyes wide. “You’re [Name]!”

You blink hearing your name and look up to see a orange-haired beauty staring at you with wide eyes, and a pair of blue eyes belonging to a gorgeous raven-haired woman along with her.

“I’m... [Name]..” you slowly nod, furrowing your brows. “Do I know you?..”

‘She doesn’t look familiar... definitely not a schoolmate..’ you thought, cutting your thoughts off when you heard your name.

Turning away, you went over to the counter and took your two drinks with ease, thanking the person once again as you grabbed some straws and began to leave.

“W-Wait, do you mind if we talked with you?”

You glance back at the beauty and frowned slightly. “Kind of.. I’m in a rush and he doesn’t really like waiting..” you mumble before turning back.

“Sorry. See you then.” Bowing your head lightly, you turn back and begin to walk off.

Nami stands surprise at the rejection, unable to do anything but watch you leave. “It’ll be fine, Nami. We’ll have our chance another time, we can’t force her after all.” Robin assures.

You head on over to the car, passing a pair of arguing men with green and blonde hair on the way, and open the passenger door, entering the car.

“Here.”

Extending his drink out to him, Axel takes it, along with a blue straw before speaking. “Did everything go alright?”

“Mmh, I mean.. there was some girl who recognized me, but—“

Sudden knocking on the glass window interrupts you, making you jump and Axel’s stare to sharpen as he looks to the window.

Outside, was the Orange-haired beauty from earlier.

It was tinted, so she wouldn’t be able to inside but the two were able to see out.

“Oh, that’s her!” You instinctively recoil away, becoming uncomfortable. “She recognized me and asked if we could talk..”

Quick to set his drink down, he discreetly reached his hand into the inner sleeve of his jacket while his other hand positioned itself to lower the window.

Once it was lowered enough, Nami smiles charismatically. “Hello! I know you said someone wouldn’t really be patient if we talked, so I wanted to ask permission! This is reallyyyy urgent, you see!”

Robin just shakes her head from inside the shop, smiling amusingly at her friend’s stubbornness, whilst the two arguing boys blink confusedly at the orangette’s sudden action in front of them.

Axel’s stare deepens on the female, his hand inching closer into his inner sleeve before she spoke again.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your date with your boyfriend, honest! But, Mr. Boyfriend, do you mind if I talked with her just for a few minutes?”

His brow twitches at the assumption while you sputter. “B-Boyfriend? I—“

“My apologies, Miss. I can’t permit you to have a conversation with Miss [Lastname] at this moment, she’s quite busy, you see. If you’d like to speak with her, please call this number to make an appointment.”

Instantly, his fingers held out a business card out for her, which she took out of instinct.

“Much gratitude for your understanding. Goodbye, now.” Axel says, immediately rolling up the window and starting up the engine.

“Wa—“

Axel steps on the gas and the car accelerates and begins driving off, leaving Nami staring breathless.

“That was unexpected.”

The handsome assistant said nothing in response as he parks the car outside your home.

Before he could finally speak, his phone rings, initiating him to pick it up in seconds.

“Hello?”

You bring your cup to your lips to drink, taking in the boba through the straw as you listen to Axel’s conversation.

“Huh? What for? She hasn’t seen him in years.”

‘Is he talking about me?’ You thought as the assistant pushes up his glasses and exhales deeply.

“It’s not up to me, you’ll have to take this up with her. ... Make an appointment then. ... what did you say?!”

Axel hisses a small curse under his breath and aggressively hangs up. “That son of a...”

“Something wrong?” You ask, continuing to sip your drink while Axel shakes his head. “Nothing, let’s go. You have a guest..” he grits out.

“Hah? A guest?”

“Ah, little [Name]! Long time no see, hasn’t it? Gurararara!”

Your eyes widens when you enter your large home and see a familiar old man sitting in your living room.

“Woah, gramps!” You awe in disbelief, jogging towards him with excitement before stopping short in front of him. “Wow, I can’t remember the last time I saw you! Pops!”

Whitebeard merely grins as he pats your head, chuckling.

Axel clicks his tongue at your indecency and impulsive actions. “Miss [Lastname], your shoes please.” He sighs out, shaking his head as he sets his drink down onto a drawer.

“Too long it’s been, my dear. And I see Axel is still sticking around.” The old man hums, nodding his head towards Axel’s direction.

The male is quick to bow respectively towards him. “Yes, it’s a pleasure to see you again, Mister Whitebeard.”

Said man exhales in slight disappointment. “What will it take to get you to call me pops, Axel? I already think of you as my son.”

Axel says nothing and looks away, pushing up his glasses as he glances to the pair of boys at Whitebeard’s side. He bows to them respectively as well.

“I assume you two are with Mr. Whitebeard?”

“That’s right. You don’t have to bow-yoi.” The blonde speaks with lazed, half-lidded eyes and a gentle smile.

The other also smiles kindly and nods in agreement. “We apologize for coming in so suddenly, but we just had to discuss something with Miss [Name].” The other spoke, with long black hair tied into a bun and wearing a pink Yukata and a sexy, deep voice.

“With me?” You perk up, glancing to the pretty one and widen your eyes. “Oh, you’re so pretty! Er.. handsome, I guess I should say.”

The male chuckles in amusement, smiling warmly at you. “I appreciate the compliment, I’m fine with either one. I also think you are very beautiful.” He smoothly expresses, his voice making you in awe.

‘His voice is so nice.. wow..’ you thought, suddenly feeling your cheeks flush at the compliment as you turn away.

“Careful now, Izo. Don’t overwhelm my precious daughter like that.” Whitebeard warns and Izo takes a step back. “Of course, my apologies, [Name].”

“N-No, you’re okay.” You mumble a bit shyly, looking to the blonde and recognizing him from yesterday. “So, what’s your name?”

“Marco.” The blonde replies simply, smiling lightly. “Nice to meet you.” You smile a little and nod, turning back to Whitebeard.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Take a seat, [Name].” Whitebeard says, shifting as he sits up straighter and you frown, going across from him and sitting on the couch. Axel is quick to appear behind you, standing.

“I’ll get straight to the point. You, my darling, are in danger.”

-

With Big Mom’s Family «

“What shall we do, Mama?”

The big 16 feet tall, Charlotte brother asks his mother, arms crossed and standing up straight with perfect posture, signature scarf laced around his neck.

“Mamamamama, we will capture her into the family, and take that power!” Big Mom sings, popping a large pastry into her mouth.

“Yes, Mama.”

-

A/N : so.. this definitely seems rushed, mostly and probably because I don’t want to drag on too long, especially since there’s so many people you still have to meet, yk? Hope you understand! :3 ch 3 already in the making lol

so someone asked if I could put in the beast Pirates and Big Mom’s crew. I will try, but because it’s been a while since I even seen a clip of one piece, I literally can’t remember much about those two groups specifically, so I deeply apologize if some things are a little off! I’ll definitely try to incorporate them into this, especially since I forgot about Katakuri and want him in here lol- I promise to do my best!! ^^ beast Pirates however won’t be making too much of an interaction, mostly because I barely know anything about them.. so sorry ;-;

taglist : @deputy-videogamer @vemuabhi @lovelyvillainess [ I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be tagged but I was very happy to see your excitement! <3 ]