#maybe colombia or mexico?

[br1ghtestlight]

both my older siblings have gone on trips to the uk that lasted a month or two to visit family (ironically they aren't biologically related to each other. they're my dad's son and my mom's daughter but they did grow up together as step siblings) and now I feel like it's my turn in the family line but also if im travelling anywhere at Any point the uk wouldn't be my first option..... it wouldnt even be my 50th option if im being honest

technically my dad is a resident of the uk and illegally immigrated (complicated long story blah blah) so im allowed uk citizenship by birthright. which is so lame bcuz its like the worst country in the world. even american citizenship would be better wtf am I supposed to do in london!!!!! TERF ISLAND!!!!!!!

[shadesoflsk]

I don't want to sound rude, but I can't read anything that includes some kind of latino/hispanic character/background because it's so painfully obvious how op knows nothing about the language 😭😭😭

And I get it, sometimes as writers, they want to expand their horizon, but when their speech knows nothing more than "papi" "mami" it hurts so bad.

Like !!! There's more than the Caribbean latinos that series show you !!!

[that-soccer-guru]

Today, Isabella Echeverri announced her retirement from professional football.

Dear reader, I am heartbroken

[hellsquills]

Disclaimer: I know about the duffle bag Filbrick threw at him, but you can ignore that if you want

My thoughts below the cut! (this turned into a whole ass fic lmao)

My personal headcanon is that Filbrick is as much of a coward as he is of an asshole. Therefore, he wouldn't have kicked Stan when he did in canon. Probably not for a while after that.

However, he does try to send him to military school. He keeps talking about how this kid needs to learn discipline and respect, and if he's not gonna bring money to the house, then he should at least bring some honor to his family.

Stan obviously does NOT want to go. Not only because it's a pointless war ("what've the vietnamese done to us anyways?") but because he remembers his mother's face when Shermie got drafted and he will NOT make her go through that hell again. Also, he doesn't wanna die!!!! Hello?????

He talks it out over the phone with Ford, who's obviously just as against it as he is. He tells Stan that, if he gets into a PhD program, he could skip military. Stan laughs in his face. It'd be easier to jump off the plane without a parachute.

And so, he comes up with a plan. When he goes to take his physical, he tries his best to botch it. If he is bad enough, if it looks like he can't do it, maybe he won't have to. Unfortunately, the recruiters are far too used to this by now, and they don't buy it. Stan goes home with a recruitment letter hidden in his jacket.

Everything goes downhill after that. He runs away from home, changes his name several times, does some crime here and there... The military is after him, and it doesn't take rejection kindly.

Stan stays out of contact with his family for a few years. He can't risk getting them involved in this mess. They don't deserve it. So he just leaves, without saying a word, in the middle of the night. No phone calls, no notes, nothing. Not even he knows where he's going. But if it just looks like he abandoned them, maybe they'll hate him. That will make them sound more believable with the police. They aren't covering for him, because they genuinely have no idea where he is. It's the best way to keep them safe.

In that time, Ford doesn't stop looking for him. He finds him every once in a while, but only his phone number, and he knows that could give away his brother's location and get the family in trouble. So, against his deepest instincts, he doesn't call.

One, three, five, seven years pass. Stan has been around almost all the country, and is genuinely considering leaving it. Maybe going to Mexico, or Colombia. Those sound nice. Maybe they'll be nicer to him.

He's passing his time and thinking about this in a small town restaurant in wherever he's in (somewhere he's not banned from, yet), when a family enters. He doesn't make eye contact, but he can't help but stare at them: a man and a woman, probably in their 50s, with 7 kids; one must be older than him, the second one around his age, the third one a little younger, the fourth one a teenager, and the last three between 10 and 15, no more. Except for the last three, they're all taller than him, even the mother, and they have various degrees of blond hair. Their clothes (overalls and plastic boots) suggest they must work in one of the farms he's seen around the state. They don't wear any accessories, except for the glasses that the father and four of the kids have. They're talking loudly and laughing. They look exhausted from a morning of hard work. They seem happy. They... look nothing like his family, and yet, he can't help but think about it.

He can't help the sob that comes to his throat. It's loud and messy from trying to suppress it, which obviously makes it worse. He covers his mouth immediately, and at that point he notices the tears that have run down his cheeks. "Great", he thinks, "that will make it easier to hide, for sure".

He doesn't move. He wants to escape, but that will draw even more attention to him, and he hasn't even paid for the food yet (normally he'd leave without paying, but the old waitress was kind enough to give him some extra food when she saw how little he ordered). He settles for not moving, lowering his head and covering his face, hoping that no one heard (unlikely) or cared (very likely).

"Ya'lright, son?"

The voice startles him. I wasn't very deep, but it was close enough to send his body into immediate danger mode. He looks up at the man towering over him, who's standing in front of him at a prudential distance.

"Y-Yeah, yeah, no worries."

He hates how broken his voice sounds. He's spent more than enough time sweet-talking his way out of trouble, he should be better at this by now. The man looks about as convinced by it as he is himself.

" 'lright then. Can I help ya?"

Damn villagers and their welcoming demeanor. If he wasn't a wanted man, he would appreciate it. But right now, it couldn't be worse timing.

"Come get ya food, kids!" The waitress' yell yanks him out of his thoughts.

"No", he blurts out, and he turns to the man. Least he can do is show him some respect and look him in the eyes. "I'm fine, thank you."

The man smiles lightly and nods. "Okay. Welcome to the town."

Stan watches as the man goes back to his table. He wishes he had been more polite, the guy was just worrying about him, but he can't afford it. They already know his face, he can't risk anyone else recognizing him-

"Sweet Mother of God almighty."

Stan turns to his right. One of the kids, the one about his age, is looking at him like he just grew a second head. He's frozen in place, his eyes wide as plates behind thick glasses. He doesn't say a word, and it's getting increasingly unnerving. Was the bruising on his face still visible? Maybe it's more apparent in broad daylight than in the shitty light that last motel had in the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, I- Can I ask your name?"

The fuck?

"No", answers Stan. Considering how nice his dad was, this guy is pretty rude.

"Son, leave him alone." The mother seems to have manners too, good to know.

The guy does pretty much the opposite. He comes closer to him, until he's right in his path, blocking his exit. That can't be good. Stan feels trapped.

"Are you Stanley Pines?"

Well, that's about it.

Stan tries his best to stay still. This guy doesn't look like a cop, not even an undercover one. But he knows his real name, so maybe someone in his family or friends works in the police; or worse, in the military.

"Listen man, I don't know who you're talking about, but that isn't my name. See?" He reaches for his wallet. He pulls out an ID, with a very clear Jackson Cage on it. He makes a mental note to change it soon, just in case his hunch is right and this guy has connections. "Now, if you excuse me, I'd like to pay for my food and leave. Move."

Stan is already on his feet, but the guy hasn't moved. Stan looks him up and down, trying to appear threatening despite his face probably still being a little red from before. He also gauges how feasible it'd be to escape if things turned bad; the dude is taller than him, sure, but he's also as thin as a toothpick, and by the anxious look on his face, he doesn't seem eager for a fight. The real problem would be evading the restaurant's staff and the other costumers, which include eight carbon copies of the guy in front of him. Probably better to try to de-escalate the situation.

"I- I can't let you leave. Please. I know who you are."

This man is making it really difficult to believe he's not a cop.

"No, you don't. I'm new in town. Move."

"Listen, I-"

"Move out of my way."

"I know your brother."

The words are like a bullet between his eyebrows.

"You look just like him-"

Against his better judgement, he quickly grabs he guy and pins him to the wood in between the booth benches, arm to his throat. If he knows Ford, he knows too much. God he just wanted to have lunch.

The commotion is immediate. He doesn't break eye contact with the guy who's grabbing his arm, whose strength is frankly surprising. He can hear, however, the screams from the dad and the siblings, as well as a couple of gasps from the other costumers. This is not going to go well, but fuck that. He's escaped worse.

"Stop!", the guy shouts as he keeps Stan's forearm from blocking his airway. "Don't hurt him! Don't get closer!"

It takes Stan a second to process what he said. The first part, sure, who wouldn't shout 'stop' when you're being attacked? But the second half doesn't make sense. Is he protecting him? The attacker?

Whatever it is, it works. The family stops in their tracks, still very ready to attack if needed. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the three younger kids moving closer to their mother. For a split second, he feels a pang of remorse for the scene he just caused.

"Hang up the phone, Clarisse, it's okay. Please."

Stan looks in the direction the guy was talking to. Right behind him, the waitress reluctantly puts the phone down.

He looks back at the guy. He looks a little shaken up, probably from the impact his back (and his head?) made with the wooden plank, but he doesn't look scared. He almost looks... sympathetic? Stan is confused as hell.

"I know who you are", the guy whispers, low enough for Stan to hear alone. "You're Stanley Pines, and you have a brother named Stanford. I know him, okay? He's my friend. I met him a few years ago in a quantum physics congress and we've been talking ever since. He told me about his family in New Jersey, and about you. About how he hasn't seen you in years, and how he was trying to find you, to no avail."

Stan is gradually loosening his grip on the guy's neck, who takes a deep breath. He should know better, but- shit, hearing that Ford was looking for him was not what he expected. Even if he doesn't know yet if this guy is lying out of his ass, it's enough to make him doubt.

"I know you were called to Vietnam. He told me. I spent a week with him in his place when he found out, he was unconsollable. When you ran away, he called me. He knew what it meant for you and he thought he'd never see you again, whether you got caught or not. All because of that stupid war." Stan is now trembling a little, he knows it. This guy must know it too, with how close they are. If he stays here any longer he'll break down, but he can't move. Anything to hear his brother's name a little longer. "I know what it's like. Three of my cousins were drafted last year, and I know at least one of them won't be coming back home. Please... let me help you."

Stan meets his eyes. They're green and brown-ish, not unlike the immense fields he's seen in his last journey, the one that led him to this town. With the years, he's learned not to trust beautiful eyes, because they are better at hiding. These ones, however, seem serene and honest, just like his words, and he can't help but believing them. This guy, whoever the fuck he is, knows just about enough.

Stan lowers his right arm. The guy still has his hand on it, but this time is much less defensive and much more comforting. He doesn't complain.

"My name's Fiddleford McGucket, and I'm gonna help you find your brother."

______________________________

Essentially, after this Fidds calls Ford as if nothing happened (per Stan's request, since he's still paranoid about the police tracking his calls) and asks him to come to Tennessee. Ford argues that he's very busy and all, but Fidds convinces him in the end.

Obviously the twins have a dual breakdown and cry their heart out. In this AU they're much less emotionally constipated lol

Ford tells Stan that he's gonna build a house in a small town in Oregon as a part of his research, and asks him to move in with him once it's finished. Stan, of course, accepts.

In the meantime, Stan stays in the McGucket farm and helps them out as a way of laying low. He has a great relationship with his family, and they're very proud of him for what he did (i believe that the McGuckets are hippies at heart, and they're VERY anti-war, especially when it already took three of them)

I don't know how much of the canon storyline would this AU follow, but it's pretty much your average Mystery Trio AU with some different backstory

[lara635kookie]

So what some people might not know about me is that I'm a reality show girlie, which is why I wrote this story. But I'm thinking on doing more with it. The most recent one I watched is Universe Ticket, but I also watched Produce 101, Produce 48, Girls Planet, R U Next, My Teenage Girl, Produce 101 Japan The Girls, Youth With You and Dream Academy. I will probably start watching I-Land 2 and Girls on Fire. Anyway, what I mean with it is that I might post some wallpapers/moodboards or anything really of the contestants. If you guys want to ask for a specific contestant or a specific group of contestants, feel free too. I'm gonna show a few I made from Dream Academy:

I think you'd like this story: " Produce Latam " by Lara635Kookie on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/357095090?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Lara635Kookie&wp_originator=sGH2LHfjplHtbKRjko9G5v7vVQyfw39pnpz8XcTMeJLNHTVFHcpdXd61lgoLbA3I%2BRO1hKHX91W%2FribJcgbOIZwM7dlY4IqJuPRLt5GE%2FdNxgIvIOgm%2FzEHn82TC1lpZ

Many people don't know I am a kpop fan since I mostly post about The 39 Clues(Book Series) and Carmen Sandiego(2019 Netflix Original Show), but in this story I will make a reality show with 20 countries from Latam by kpop standards when you can vote for the contestant you like the most. So if you are interested(or if you are from Latin America, like me haha) then you should check it out. I am always down for constructive criticism, so, if you please, don't forget to share, vote and leave a comment on the story, if you want to. Thank you :)

[tieronecrush]

꒰ა ONLY ANGEL ໒꒱

javier peña x f!reader

chapter two: lips of an angel

series masterlist

rating: E (18+ only, MDNI)

summary: After his return to the US, Javier is trying to settle back into a normal life without the pressures of Colombia and the DEA, but he finds himself feeling isolated with no one to spend his nights with. Now a newly appointed criminology professor at Texas A&M, he is drawn to you, a post-grad student in one of his classes. You’re intelligent and witty, sweet and kind, and he can’t get you out of his mind. To cope with his growing loneliness and to rid himself of thoughts of you, he signs up for an “arrangement service” to connect him with somebody—a sugar baby—he can care for. After he is matched up with Angel, he finds himself developing feelings quicker than he ever expected, but what happens when he finds out Angel is really you?

series warnings: power imbalance (prof and student), sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, discussion of money, criminal activity, judicial systems, graduate school, smut, daddy/papí kink, praise kink, degradation, self deprecation, discussion of self worth, multiple sexual or romantic partners, sex work, cursing, use of spanish, likely more warning so read at your own risk!

word count: 5.1k

a/n: thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing this series for me <333 love you bestie, the only one i'd wanna be a sister wife with

To: TheOnlyAngel

Subject: Nice To Meet You?

Hey,

I got an email that we were matched for Sweet Temptations. I figured I would reach out and introduce myself, maybe get to know you a bit if you are alright with that.

Feel free to call me Javi. I am honestly not sure what else I’m meant to do in an introduction like this. I promise I am normally much smoother than this, or at least more human and less awkward.

It’s nice to meet you, and to be matched up with you, Angel. If that’s what I should call you?

J

From: TheOnlyAngel

Subject: Re: Nice To Meet You?

Hi Javi!

It’s nice to meet you too, and hopefully, we get to meet in person. These first emails are always awkward no matter how many I’ve sent or received, so please be assured that, honestly, that was one of the better ones I’ve gotten. :) 

I normally like to ask what you’re looking for out of this “arrangement” (I hate calling it that, it sounds so impersonal) and maybe you can tell me some fun facts about you if you want to share!

I can go first for the fun facts:

Green is my favorite color

I unironically love the song MMMBop by Hansen (which is unexpected if you saw the rest of my tape and CD collection)

My current favorite movie is Romeo + Juliet that came out a couple of years ago cause Paul Rudd <3

That’s about all that I can think of as I sit in bed and type this so hopefully that is sufficient enough!

TTYL Javi,

Angel

To: TheOnlyAngel

Subject: Re: Re: Nice To Meet You?

Hey Angel

Paul Rudd is pretty likable, I’ll give you that. Is he your type? Cause I hate to break it to you sweetheart but I don’t really look like him. Both have dark hair but that’s about where the similarities stop. And Romeo + Juliet huh? Must be a bit of a romantic.

And MMMBop…it is catchy. I have to stop myself humming it at work these days.

As for what I’m looking for, I guess I just want someone to spend some time with. Whatever comes of it, comes of it, but I don’t want to really have any expectations. Just wanna get to know you, Angel.

Took me a while to think of some fun facts:

I grew up on a cattle ranch right on the border of Mexico in Southern Texas

When I was little (like 9/10 years old) my primos dared me to enter a rodeo for Mutton Busting (chasing a sheep around to try to catch it)

A CD of Selena stays in my car at all times, and yes, I know all the words

Hope those were fun enough for you, Angel.

And I hope you have a good day today.

J

The emails continued for about a week and a half, Javier slowly became more comfortable with the virtual communications. Angel was bubbly, and sweet, always asking him questions and always interested in hearing about his day or what his favorite book was. It was either his loneliness or a newfound desperation that had his heart skipping when the sound of new mail pinged from his desktop.

It felt a bit strange to have such normal exchanges with Angel and be reminded of the circumstances with his bank statement for the charges that the service takes monthly. With how personable Angel has been even via email, he finds himself forgetting what exactly brought them together. Maybe all the mystery and excitement will wear off when the two of you meet, but something deep in his gut is telling him that isn’t going to happen.

He drags himself away from his desk, no response from Angel yet today. All he can think about is how he hopes there’s a new message when he comes back, gathering his things to head to the lecture hall for the third week of Sociology of Deviance.

In the beginning, he thought this class was going to be a chore to do. Stuck onto his schedule last minute, had new material to cover, and had an annoying Dean of Faculty checking in on him much more often because of it. However, a handful of sessions in, he’s got a bit of a skip in his step to rush over there, the familiar jump in his stomach when he thinks about you.

The pretty fall floral dresses you’ve started wearing with the change in weather, large cardigans pulled over the top. You’ve worn a few flannels over your shoulders, clearly oversized and he feels a prick of jealousy whenever he sees you in them.

Do you have a boyfriend? Are those shirts his?

What would you look like in one of his button-downs?

Christ, the thoughts won’t stop no matter how hard he tries. Another reason why he is attempting to completely throw himself into this new “arrangement”, hoping it would be a means to an end to his crush on his student.

That’s what it is. He has a fucking crush.

He hasn’t had a crush in years.

Laying everything out for the class session, he starts writing the discussion points on the board. At the sound of the door violently swinging open and a rumble of loud footsteps rushing, he looks over his shoulder to see you, belongings in your arms and clearly flustered. His jaw drops open to ask if you’re alright, making a burning flash of eye contact with you before you drop your head, embarrassed, and find your seat.

Turning back to the chalkboard, he shakes his head minutely, rolling his shoulders before continuing his writing, white powder from the chalk coating his fingers. Instead of his normal thoughts of you, he keeps fighting the urge to ask if you’re okay. In the short time he’s known you if you could even say that about your dynamic, he knows it’s very unusual for you to come in that incomposed. He wipes the residue off on his pants, facing the class. 

While he teaches, his eyes continue to wander to you, oddly quiet when you would normally be engaged in the discussion. That kid Alex, obnoxious from the jump, is taking up far too much air time in this class, and Javier can’t help the annoyance on his face as he leans back against the desk, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for this kid to finish his long-winded, and incorrect answer.

You scoff audibly at a point that Alex made, piquing Javier’s attention. The two of you make eye contact again, and Javier suddenly unravels one arm from his chest, holding it up toward Alex.

“Excuse me, Alex, I respect your points but I think there might be some counters to your arguments. I want to be able to hear them before we move on,” Javier calls out your name, and his head snaps to you, nodding encouragingly, “What were your thoughts?”

“Oh, um, I was going to say that I don’t think that socioeconomic or social standing is the only explanation for the makeup of the prison system. And I think it’s pretty naive to think that it’s only rich people that get off with less severe punishments.” Javier watches your shoulders tense a bit at the obvious eye roll from Alex, the pen in between your fingers bouncing with nerves.

“Do you mind expanding on that? I’m interested in what you think is another reason,” Javier holds eye contact with you, the slightest smile on his face to reassure you to stand your ground in the argument.

“I mean, to me, It’s pretty obvious that the biggest reason is racial discrimination in the legal process. White people dominate the political landscape and the prejudices, even unconscious bias, contribute to the makeup of the incarcerated population. Judges will give favorable or less severe punishments to white defendants, and of course, class biases are a thing, especially because of the cost of criminal defense, but I think the overt, umbrella reason is racial discrimination in the legal process. It’s built into the systems of government, which is pretty depressing…”

You trail off and laugh awkwardly at the silence in the room, some classmates nodding in agreement while some are unphased, uninterested. 

“That’s good. That’s exactly what I was hoping would be brought up by someone,” Javier nods to you, pointing in your direction before he rounds the desk to start writing on the board for students to take down in their notes.

In your seat, you start to copy down into your notebook, glancing up to see him look over his shoulder at you. One corner of his mouth lifts, a smile in his eyes as you try to bite back your own grin that threatens to expose how much you enjoyed his short praises.

From: TheOnlyAngel

Subject: Wanna Meet Up?

Hiiii Javi

I’ve had such a shitty day today, but honestly, I was still excited to be able to come home and talk to you. :)

Do you think you’d be interested in meeting in person this weekend? I’m free Saturday night if you are. LMK!

Hope your day was better than mine!

xoxo,

Angel

Plans were made to meet Saturday night around eight o’clock. Javier had chosen a bar he’d become familiar with on those nights when he couldn’t sleep, when the memories of Colombia were too much when he couldn’t stop thinking about those damn boats that were in his backyard.

The place is small, intimate, and quiet enough to hold a conversation — which he knew from the one or two times he’d picked up someone and brought them back to his apartment. There was always some sort of live music, usually some jazz or folksy blues, that could fill any first-date awkward silences.

In his last email to her, Javier told Angel that he’d be in the back of the bar, at a table for two, wearing jeans and a red short-sleeve button-up shirt. He makes sure to arrive first, getting there a bit overly early at 7:30 to snag a table and order himself a drink to calm his nerves. Pounding the glass back on the bar top, he orders another whiskey neat to nurse until she arrives.

This is a different feeling than he’s had before a date. Nerves aren’t normally his thing when it comes to women, but something about this night feels higher stakes than before.

Get it together, Javi. It’s a date, if it goes horribly, you don’t have to do it again. Plus, she doesn’t even need to be interested in you, this is her job.

When you arrive at the tiny, hole-in-the-wall bar, you nod thanks to the man holding the door for you, rolling your eyes when you get a comment from him that you didn’t ask for.

“Nice tits, sweetheart.” He slurs and sends you a wink that is definitely more of a blink. You slip past him without issue, scanning the small area for the man with dark hair and a red shirt on. At this point, with how many times you’ve done this, you’re normally not nervous to meet these men in person. It’s something you’re obligated to do, like showing up for any other job, and that’s how you treat it.

But this time around, something’s different. Talking with Javier has actually been….nice? He’s responsive and wants to get to know you, never taking more than a day to get back to you. He’s asked you more questions about yourself than anyone else has before and he always, always wants to hear about your day. If you weren’t careful, you could see yourself getting attached.

Well, getting attached if he’s anything like you’ve imagined him. Or who you’ve imagined him to be.

The only red shirt you can spot is on a man sitting at a table toward the back, facing away from the door and toward the stage in the corner where a jazz trio is playing a low, crooning song. Biting back a smile, you start to make your way over to him, admiring him from behind.

It’s broad shoulders and a strong neck, muscles flexing as he adjusts in his seat. His dark, chocolatey hair is combed nicely, so much so that you can’t help but have the thought of running your fingers through it and messing it up.

Dressed in a black dress with blotted red lips, you weave in between people, ignoring anyone else as you keep your eyes on the man you’re here to meet. Javi stays facing forward, watching the band play even as you stand behind him, cheated to his side a bit. Holding your breath, you lean closer and tap him on his shoulder.

“Um, excuse me, Javi?”

At the sound of his name, Javier turns over his shoulder to his right, a smile on his face already from the honeyed kindness in her voice. She did really sound like an angel for a second there before he realized where the sound was coming from.

“Yeah, I’m Ja—“ The sound stops in his throat when he is facing you. Your supple lips with the dainty Cupid’s bow, rouged cheeks, and gentle smile; normally in a nice dress or cardigan in class, but here you’re wearing much less material, more of your skin on display.

What would it be like to kiss it?

No. That is not ever going to happen.

Those doe eyes hold an innate tenderness that he couldn’t imagine ever being privy to, but here he was, under the stare of those and it was making him sweat. He can only imagine what he looks like to you at the moment, eyes wide and mouth blubbering to speak like a fish gasping for air.

You recognized him at the same time, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back the word vomit threatening to come out. If it did, you know you would end up spilling how honestly excited you are that the man you’ve been emailing with has turned out to be Professor Peña. You’ve harbored a bit of a crush on him for the last few weeks, ever since that smile he gave you when you introduced yourself after the first session. It had been burning moments of eye contact, and those gentle encouragements from him.

Hell, after class this week when he praised your counterarguments, you thought about his voice saying “That’s good” over and over while you laid in your bed that night, coming with the image of him over you in record time.

The first word out of his mouth is your name, tone flicked up at the end in a question. He grumbles to himself as he moves to stand up, forgetting his drink on the table.

“Fuck, this is bad…” He whispers under his breath, shaking his head at himself as he runs his hands on the sides of his jeans. “I’m so sorry.”

He steps back to further the distance between you two, awkwardly avoiding your eyes as he attempts to recover his professionalism.

“It’s alr—“

“I had no idea it was you. This is completely inappropriate, I apologize. I should leave, uh, and I completely understand if you need to change out of my class. I know it’s past the cut-off date, but I would help if you needed—”

“Javi — can I call you that?” He considers it for a moment before nodding, rigidity evident in his body, “Javi, it’s alright. You don’t need to apologize, neither of us knew before this moment…But I do have to say, I wouldn’t tell.”

“Uh, I’m sorry — what?”

“I wouldn’t say anything. If you wanted to sit down and have a drink, or a few, and get to know each other like we planned to, I wouldn’t say a word. Even if you weren’t interested after this, I promise, the secret’s safe with me.”

Javier can’t deny how much he was looking forward to meeting the woman he was emailing with. And he can’t deny that he’s had his eyes on you since that first meeting. Hell, he can barely control his thoughts around you.

Of course, it had to be you. The two people he can’t get out of his head have turned out to be only one person, and of course, it’s you.

“If it informs your decision, I would love to get to know you more, Javi.”

He stutters through his thoughts out loud before resigning with a sigh, taking a breath as he forms his response, “Only if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Definitely. Wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise. Now, may I join you?” You gesture to the empty chair and Javi nods quickly.

“Yeah, of course. Here, let me get that.” He visibly relaxes a bit, falling into a routine he knows well. Rounding the small table, he pulls your chair out for you before settling in the seat opposite. Shortly after, a server comes around and takes your drink orders, Javier looking to you to go first. After the order is placed, the server leaves the two of you in silence at the table.

Another beat passes before Javier speaks, saying what you both are thinking, “Sorry, I just, cannot believe it happened to be you.”

“Why’s that?” You ask with a lilt of humor in your voice, sitting up in the chair to move toward him, “Don’t think I would be into all this?”

“Yeah, I guess so, but—Actually I should not say what I was about to say,” he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Oh, c’mon, what were you gonna say?”

“Nope, definitely not going to tell you, sweetheart,” he smirks at you and then adjusts in his seat awkwardly, “Oh, ‘m sorry, I shouldn’t have sa—“

“Javi. It’s fine, just relax. You’re not making me uncomfortable at all if that’s what you’re worried about,” you give him a sincere smile, reaching across to hold his arm that’s lying on the table, “It’s actually kind of nice to have those nicknames coming from you and not some other creepy men who contact me.”

“Why’s that?” He echoes your question from moments before, eyebrows raising in curiosity and the same smirk growing on his face, glancing down at your hand on him.

“I shouldn’t say what I was about to say,” you attempt to imitate his voice, laughing at the end when he gives you a look that says ‘Really?’.

“I don’t sound like that, cariño. But that’s a good try. Now what is it that makes me nicer than the other men you’ve seen?”

‘That’s a good try.’ This man.

“And how do you know that? I could be nailing what you sound like to other people. You hear your voice differently.” You poke his arm pointedly, moving your hand toward your lap again. Before it leaves the table, Javier stretches his arm across, catching your fingers with his. He holds them loosely in his, running his thumb across your knuckles as he keeps eye contact with you.

“I’ve heard my voice enough in press conferences that were televised, angel. I don’t sound like that,” he uses his free hand to take a sip of his whiskey, “And don’t try to change the subject. I wanna know what you are gonna say.”

“I could say the same thing to you. We both have our secrets tonight,” you take a sip of your drink and shrug, “You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.”

“Nice negotiating, cariño, but I think I’d have to have a few more of these if I was going to share mine.” He raises his glass a couple of inches off the table, the amber liquid sloshing around before he sets it down again.

You’d say anything to get him to keep giving you praise like that all the time.

Grabbing your own glass, you lift it to him and smile, “Well, only one of these and I’ll be spilling all my dirty secrets.”

Javier’s jaw notches to the side as you say that, biting his cheek before he takes his hand from yours and runs his thumb across his bottom lip to the corner.

Inside his chest, he feels his heart beating faster and feels his blood rushing south, that same damn smile of yours that you give him from rows away in class doing the same damn thing it does to him there.

Half of him is wondering how he can make you smile like that all the time.

The other half wants to wipe that smile off of your face and have you whimpering.

What would you look like under him?

Jesus Christ, he’s way far gone.

Javier’s had three more whiskeys on top of his previous three. You’ve had about four drinks yourself.

The evening has devolved into something much more casual, breezy; conversation has flowed between you two, finding things in common and swapping stories that have the other laughing. From the serious professor in class, this more easy-going Javi is refreshing to see and definitely makes your crush a lot worse, somersaulting stomach and warm, syrupy flood across your whole body.

The subject has returned to the evening’s secrets, you asking him again to share what he was going to say.

“Please, Javi, it can’t be any more embarrassing than what mine is. I’ll tell you what I was gonna say if you promise to tell me.” You extend your arm, fingers closed into a fist beside your pinky.

He looks at your hand, debating internally before deciding ‘fuck it’ and links his little finger with yours.

“I promise, cariño,” he smiles and nods for you to share, “What are you dying to tell me so that you can hear what I was gonna say?”

“The affection from you is nice cause, I don’t know, you feel…safe. When I first started, I was getting some weird men that wanted to meet, and—This has just been fun,” you resign with a soft smile, “Plus it helps that you’re hot. Got the whole smoldering cop with the porn stache thing.”

“Smoldering cop with the porn stache? I didn’t realize that was a thing,” he laughs, the crinkles next to his eyes deepening before he takes your hand lying on the table, “I’m glad this has been fun for you. After all that shock and awkwardness at the beginning, I think it’s been really nice to get to know you, angel.”

“Alright, I shared my little secret, you share yours now.”

Javier sighs, his thumb rubbing back and forth across your skin. He takes a moment to speak before he meets your eyes, a resistant smirk on his face, “You are really gonna make me say this?”

“You pinky promised! I didn’t make you do that, there’s no coercion here, Javier.”

“Fine, fine. You’re too quick, cariño,” he squeezes your fingers with his, “I was gonna say before that I couldn’t believe it happened to be you ‘cause—It’s stupid, really, but I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since that first class, querida.”

“A crush? The sexy Professor Peña has a crush on me?”

“Couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. Can’t keep ‘em off of you, cariño. Too beautiful. And you’re fucking on it all the time, so goddamn smart. I really am convinced you should be teaching for me,” he glances down sheepishly, feeling exposed from his tipsy confession.

The surface of your cheeks heats up, feeling a tingle down your spine when his eyes meet yours again. Leaning forward across the table, you bite your bottom lip as you drink him all in.

“D’you think I’ll ever be able to properly pay attention in class again after that?”

“You better, sweetheart. Just cause I’ve got a crush on you doesn’t mean you’ll get a good grade. Not gonna go easy on you. Fair’s fair.”

“Mm, I don’t mind it hard. I prefer it that way, actually. Makes it much more satisfying when you finish.” Your tongue wets your lips before you take your bottom one between your teeth, watching as Javier’s eyes darken at your double entendre.

He shakes his head, giving you a knowing look about your mischievous word choice, “Better be ready for a challenge then, angel.”

“Always, Peña.”

It’s late now, verging on turning into Sunday; the hours flew by with each other. Javier noticed the time on his watch, the crowd in the bar was sparse in spots that were full when he got there. When he looks at you, your eyelids look heavy, and those normally wide and bright eyes, eager and excited, look drowsy and content, so close to slipping closed and turning your mind off for the night.

“You ready to head out, angel? We’ll go find you a cab.” He asks with a subtle smile on his face, scooting out of his chair and standing, offering a hand to you.

“Yeah, m’ready.” You rise after taking his hand, hiking your small rectangular bag over your shoulder and stepping closer to him as he switches which hand is holding yours. Right in right, he grips yours from the outside of your palm, fingers lacing together as he presses his left into the small of your back, weaving between the patrons and out the front door.

The air is crisp when the door breaks open, cool air surrounding your warm, alcohol-blanketed bodies. Javier's touch still surrounds you, your right shoulder pressing into his chest when you turn to say something to him.

He takes a step back, allowing you the space to rotate fully in his arms, meeting his eyes and feeling a grin toy at your lips.

“Tonight was nice.”

“It was. Think I should be saying thanks to you. M’glad you had me stay.”

“Yeah? Well, m’happy to hear that cause I was gonna say, if you wanted to keep this up — meeting up, the arrangement all of that — if you wanted to keep it up for the semester, I would happily keep the secret. Y’know, you help me, I help you kind of thing. We just have fun.”

Javier considers the offer, ticking his jaw as he debates internally. On one hand, it’s a massive risk. The two of you could be seen out with each other, or if anyone noticed anything different in class, it could jeopardize his job, and possibly your degree. But on the other hand, if every night with you is like this one, he’s hard-pressed to say no. You’re funny and intelligent and beautiful — sure, there’s the element of how you two met and what happens behind the scenes, money taken out of his account monthly and forwarded to you through the service — but with the way you’ve had his heart pumping from your sweetness and his cock half hard at how turned on you have him constantly, he really can’t find a fuck to give about the risk.

“Alright. If you are in for it, I definitely am, angel,” he grins at you, his tongue poking out to wet his lips when his eyes flit to yours, the faint red lipstick of yours still holding strong.

“Good, Javi. That’s good,” your voice is a purr, a smug smirk playing at your lips when he leans in closer, walking you back towards the brick facade of the bar. His knees nearly give out when he hears those small praises, already waiting for the next time you speak them to him.

“Can I…?” he trails off, the tip of his nose only an inch from yours.

“You can kiss me, Javi.”

Without wasting another second, he catches his lips with yours, gentle at first with soft, delicate kisses exchanged. His tongue slides along your bottom lip, a breathy whimper parting your mouth enough for him to lick into it, melting his tongue with yours. One of his hands moves to hold your jaw, the other stagnant at your hip. A step closer brings him flush against you, quiet moans muffled into each other’s mouths.

The roughness of the brick is harsh against your bare skin on display, the contrasting sensations pooling arousal in between your legs. Javier tastes like tobacco, whiskey, and mint gum; an interesting combination but an intoxicating one. His hand at your hip moves around to your ass, pulling you off the wall slightly and against him, his growing bulge felt against your torso.

Before the two of you can get completely lost in each other, you pull away, hands on his chest. A taxi pulls up at that moment, honking its horn in question if you need a ride. You wave to him and ask for one minute with your fingers, turning back to Javi standing in front of you a bit breathless.

“I should go. Got some reading to do for this class on Monday that I’ve got.”

“Oh, yeah? Hope your professor hasn’t been killing you with the readings,” he smirks back at you.

“Nah, he hasn’t been killing me but seems like he does really wanna give it to me. Must have some high expectations,” your voice is coated with a lilt of teasing, winking at him as you slip from his arms.

He follows close behind to walk you to the cab, a hand finding your back and dropping down to graze his fingers across your ass.

“Think you’ll have no trouble exceeding those expectations, angel. Plus you could always ask for one-on-one tutoring or some extra credit.” It’s his turn to wink, opening the rear door for you and helping you in.

“Glad I have your confidence, Javi. Here, gimme your phone I’ll give you my number.” You reach out and he fumbles it from his pocket, passing it off to you. The information is quickly entered and saved, handing his device back to him and looking up at him from the seat of the cab.

“I’ll be waiting for a call, Javi. And I’ll see you Monday, Professor Peña.” You give him one last look, giggling as you shut the door and he hits the top of the taxi before you drive away, standing there with an idiotic smile on his face.

Javier grew up religious, his mamá dragging him to church every Sunday. He’s only been back to church at the major holidays he’s been home, leaving behind any spiritual side of him. All the concepts of eternal souls and heaven and hell meant nothing to him.

However, tonight, he felt an inkling to believe that heaven was real, and he had met an angel.

His angel.

tagging those from last time: @northernbluess @swiftispunk @joelsversion @mrsquill @yazsos @cartoon-garbage04 @sugadolly @ilovepedro @lovers-liability @deathwife @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @undrthelights @atticrissfinch @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @tbniarq @vee-bees-blog @spidermanfrog @belliezz @joelsflannel

IF YOU WANT TO BE ON THE TAGLIST, PLEASE FILL THIS FORM OUT! thank you!

[theanticool]

One thing I've noticed about this whole Imane Khelif "controversy" is that the same people screaming about protecting women's sports from the "trans Boogeyman", they never ever ever mention women's sports at all. At no point have they tried to highlight other women boxers, or mentioned any other event in which a woman competes or does well in. It's very strange to scream about protecting something they clearly do not care about. This isn't even necessarily about the grifters and talking heads (I expect it out of them) but random people on my friends list that caught me off guard

That's the main thing that kills me about all this nonsense. Putting aside the fact that Khelif is a woman and this war between the IOC and the IBA, the people screaming about how a woman is going to die fighting her are so disrespectful. Because women do die in the sport fighting other women. And there are things we could do to stop that and nobody fucking cares enough about the sport except for like 30 people to even talk about it.

Last year, an 18 year old from Mexico was flown up to Canada to be a warm body for a former amateur standout Canadian boxer. Jeanette Zacarias Zapata died after getting knocked out. Had 0 business being in that ring with someone so much better than her, 15 years her senior.

But this is a normal practice. Go look at some of the women from Mexico and Colombia and their records. A lot of American, British, and Canadian talent go down there to go beat up on boxer-cize moms who are literally half their size to inflate their records. Imagine walking into a CKO Kickboxing gym and telling them they have to fight someone who was fighting for amateur world champions or are top professional contenders. And this isn't a problem for just women. It's super common practice in the US to have your recent amateur stars just spark gas station attendants or mechanics for years before they fight a proper pro.

But like you said, none of these people actually care about the sport. They don't care about the Jeanettes of the world. They don't care about how there's so little money and resources put into it, so massive corners get cut. They don't care that there's rampant grooming (by cis men gym owners) going on in a lot of these gyms. And it's not just boxing. It's not just combat sports. It's in basketball, gymnastics, soccer, etc.

Because it's all virtue signalling. They need boogeymen. They need to pretend they care about these sports. If they're so scared of opportunities being taken away from "real women", maybe they should raise the floor on support for the actual sport and all the women it in. But these people didn't know enough about the sport to talk about Kellie Harrington or Amy Broadhurst, women who had fought and beat Imane Khelif before. Yet they feel so confident saying nonsense with their chest.

[missadangel]

Little Bird in a Cage (Javier Peña x Reader)

Part 16: Pregnant

Gifs by jdmorganz - icegif

----------- All episodes here --------------

It was late evening when your father called.

He chose a very bad time, you'd just had after-dinner sex with Javi and it was amazing, you were still in bed, covered in sweat, cum, satisfaction, waiting for your breathing to settle.

To answer the phone, you sat on the bed, and had the longest phone call with him ever.

Javi slipped out of bed when he heard his voice on the phone, standing in front of the window with his back turned, lit a cigarette, yes, he had started smoking again recently, facing the truth that there really was such a thing as premarital stress.

Actually it wasn't the idea of marriage, you were both happy with to become husband and wife, to live together, but your father insisted that things should be a bit more his way.

Perhaps because he was a four-star minister and loves to give orders.

‘No, dad, of course that's not gonna happen!’ Javi turned his head and snickered at you, who looks and sounds like a little girl right now.

You frowned.

Getting married in Colombia wasn't an option and he didn't want it to be, the city you used to live in was still not safe, thanks to the drug cartels that still working tirelessly.

So you wanted to get married in Texas in a small wedding, but your father was angry that you didn't want a big ceremony. He also wanted it to be a cultural wedding, he wanted you to do all the Colombian customs, which made you angry, but it was very difficult to convince him.

When the phone call ended you hung up the receiver and sighed, did it really have to be so hard?

‘Dad's got me cornered,’ you said as you got out of bed and approached Javi.

He put out his cigarette and turned towards you. ‘Don't worry baby, he'll come round eventually.’

‘You think? He wants a big church wedding, plus with all the Colombian traditions,’ you sighed, “that's a lot of stress and I don't even want to think about the media, they'll want to cover a day like this,” you buried your head in his bare chest.

He wrapped his arms around you, ‘If that's what he wants,’ he murmured as he played with your hair. “Maybe we should do this.”

You lifted your head to look at him. ‘Would you really do that? Doesn't it bother you?’

He smiled, ‘Why should your traditions bother me? After all, you're going to be my wife at the end of the day, aren't you? Mrs. Peña?’ his lips rubbing your ear.

You giggled, it was so nice to hear that word from him. You raised your hand to check the diamond ring you wearing on your left finger. “Yes, I am.”

-----

Fortunately, Mexico and Colombia were very similar culturally. The language, the food, the dance, the wedding customs, and apparently even the fathers. As a Mexican-American, Chucho insisted on following Mexican customs, as did your father.

So you tried to convince them to have a bicultural wedding. Your father coming to Texas tomorrow to discuss the details and to meet your future father-in-law.

You had been feeling very tense and tired lately, and the wedding had been on your mind a lot. You had almost forgotten what day it was, so you were surprised after breakfast when Chucho changed the calendar page on the wall to the May.

Javi has been back from Washington for over two weeks. That meant your period should have started a week ago. And you'd never been this late before. Javi leaned across the table to you as you froze, fork in hand.

'What's wrong, why aren't you eating?

You smiled at him, 'Nothing, just,' avoiding eye contact, you looked down at your plate to eat the rest of your food. ‘Please don't worry anymore cariño, we'll talk about it together when your father comes.’

‘I know, Javi, can we go into town today?’

He finished his orange juice, got up from the table and came over and kissed the top of your head.

‘Of course we can, we have to do shopping anyway, Chucho is going to visit Andre today.’

Andre was in state care and Chucho wanted to adopt him, but the procedures taking time. Suddenly you felt excited thinking what a good grandad Chucho would be, but you didn't want to think about it until you were sure.

So you had to go to the pharmacy in town to buy a pregnancy test, you weren't sure how to do it without Javi noticing.

But it was impossible, he never wanted to leave you alone after what happened last time.

‘Every time I leave you alone something happens to you, wherever you're going, we’ll go together,’ he said as he parking the car.

That's why you decided to tell him, but it was a pain in the ass, the possibility of you being pregnant before the wedding and God forbid, your father finding that out. And the feeling that you were definitely not ready to be a mother yet.

Why is everything so complicated.

You stopped in front of the pharmacy, ‘Javi I'm -’

Just then, Javi's tía Sophia was approaching from down the street.

You both panicked, not only she has been bombarding you with questions since she heard about your engagement, but it would have been a disaster for her to see you with a pregnancy test in your hand.

‘Javi...’

He grabbed your hand. 'Fuck, let's run, baby,' he pulled you around the corner.

As you ran together, you looked at each other and laughed mischievously. After a short distance, Javi pulled you into the back of a store and you leaned against the wall to catch your breath. Standing right in front of you, he looked at the direction you ran from, panting.

'I think we're safe,' he smirked.

You gasped in relief, he put his hand on the wall next to your head, kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, you couldn't help it, it had become a habit to do that every time he kisses you.

But this was the middle of the street, people were walking by, looking at you and laughing, Javi pulled back, a mischievous look on his face.

'Now that we've given the town another rumor mill, shall we go home?'

You chuckled, "We're moving soon anyway, so fuck it.'

Javi laughed out loud, he couldn't help laughing every time you used foul language.

While the two of you were walking down the street, someone called your name and you turned around. It was Juan, he must have seen you passing by the shop.

'Oh hello, how are you? Javi, this is Juan,' you looked at him allusively.

Javi raised his eyebrows, then looked at him closely, this time frowning.

'How you doin?' they shook hands. You could tell right away that Javi didn't like him by the way he looked at him with a pursed lip.

'Nice to meet you," then he turned to you. "You left one of the paints you bought last time in the shop, I wanted to give it to you.' 

'Thank you,' you said with a smile. I haven't even started yet, it's been a busy week.’

'Yeah, I heard about all, you ok now?'

'Thanks, I'm fine.’

'Actually, since I bumped into you, I was wondering if I could ask you for something, I need some help with this painting I'm doing,' he pointed inside.

‘Sure,’ you went in quickly.

Javi put his hands on his waist, frowning. You looked at him and waved your hand, beckoning him.

Juan sat down in front of the painting and you sat down next to him.

Javi narrowed his eyes as he walked in, taking a quick look around, but his eyes were on you. Leaning against one of the shelves, he crossed his arms and watches you as you grabbed the brush, working on the painting.

Juan touched your hand as you showed him a few things on the painting with the brush. Javi tensed up, he didn't like another man touching your hand so easily, but he didn't want to be rude so he waited patiently, finally when you were done you stood up, but it was fast, suddenly you got dizzy and sat back in the chair. Juan put his arm around you. ‘Are you all right?’

That was too much, Javi pushed his arm away a little roughly. I'll take it from here, man,' he said and helped you to your feet. 'You okay, cariño?' he wrapped his arm around you this time.

You nodded, 'Yeah, just, my head is spinning, maybe because I'm hungry,' you put your hand on your head.

‘Come on, let's get something to eat,' he said as he led you out of the shop.

Looking over your shoulder at Juan, you waved goodbye, but you couldn't turn around, Javi's arm wouldn't let you.

---

The next day, the day your father arrived, you and Javi wanted to go to the airport to meet him, but since he was still a minister, there was a small official welcoming ceremony. So you went to the hotel to meet him in the embassy suites in Laredo, he was going to stay in the room reserved for him.

As soon as you saw him, you ran to hug him, you missed him so much. He wiped away your tears and scolded you for crying, then told you he had a surprise for you, and you were delighted to see Caroline and Dolores following close behind.

You and Caroline hugged and laughed. When Dolores pursed her lips you hugged her too, you really missed them so much.

You had dinner at the hotel restaurant and talking about everything. Javi and your father talked mostly about work, and you were annoyed that he still called him 'Agent Peña'.

"Dad, why don't you call Javi by his first name?'

'Well, hmm, Javi, I'll have to get used to that,' he frowned.

'Maybe in the future you can call him son,' you said with a grin, blinked at Javi.

Javi decided to take a sip of his drink instead of reacting.

'We'll see about that in time, missy,' he rolled his eyes at you.

Javi was no different, still calling your father sir. You smiled to yourself, sure he would call him by his first name later.

Everything was so new, and you believed that marriage would develop the relationship between the two families in time.

It had to be.

After dinner, while Javi and your father were still talking in the hotel lobby, you asked permission to go out with Caroline. Javi didn't want to be alone with your father, you could see it in his eyes, so he asked for permission to take you wherever you wanted to go, and fortunately for him, your father was tired and has long diplomatic phone calls to make, so he retired to his room. But you wanted to be alone with Caroline, so Javi dropped you off near the shops. He'd be back to pick you up later.

'I loved it here,' Caroline smiled as she looking around the shops.

'Caz, we need to get to a pharmacy first, help me,' you tugged at her arm.

Noticing pharmacy was very close.

'What's wrong?'

'I need a pregnancy test,' you whispered in her ear.

She opened her eyes wide. 'What? Shit, Is it really your test this time?

'Yeah, let's get the test, I have to do it now and make sure asap.'

You got the test and rushed back to the hotel, ran into Caroline and Dolores' room. You bought three, just to be sure.

And they were all positive.

'Dios mio!' Dolores' voice startled you, she has seen the tests when she entered the room.

'Shh,' you shushed her, your father's room was right next door, the last thing you needed was for him to hear.

'Oh my God, you're pregnant,' Caroline said as she hugged you happily. Then her smile faded, expression changed to worried. 'Oh my God, you're pregnant and you're getting married soon.'

'I know,' you mumbled.

'Cariño, don't worry,' Dolores sat down next to you and put her arm around you. 'It's nothing to be upset about. It's a gift from God.’

You didn't know how to react or what to think, of course it was a gift, but the timing was wrong, at least you thought so. You stood up and started pacing nervously.

‘How am I going to tell Javi? What about my dad? Will I be able to get into the wedding dress? We need to get married asap, before anyone finds out, and Javi was just starting his new position at work. Are we ready to be parents?’

Caroline grabbed you by the shoulders. ‘Honey, calm down, sit. Of course you're ready, don't worry, everything will be fine. And Javi will be so happy, believe me.’

‘You think so?’ You were getting more worried than happy. You didn't feel ready to be a mother, but you had to. You blamed the contraceptive pill you couldn't get from the pharmacy that day. But then you gave up, it was already done.

‘What kind of a mother am I going to be if I can't even take the stupid contraceptive pill in time?’

Caroline hugged you as you added sobs to your tears.

‘Come on, of course you'll be a great mom, but don't think about that now. Should I tell Javi or?’

‘No, I'll tell him, but I need to clear my head until he comes to pick me up.’

‘Okay, sure, if you need us we’ll be at lobby,’ Caroline gave you another hug and left the room with Dolores.

----

You opened your eyes with a sudden urge to pee.

Were you asleep?

This is very strange, you thought, remembering why, and took a deep breath. You were still alone in the room. You looked at your watch to check the time, you couldn't believe you had been asleep for two hours.

Javi should have been here by now, you quickly washed your face and left the room, feeling ready to tell him.

When you came into the lobby and you saw him, your heart started to race with excitement, but it wasn't new thing, you feel the same way every time you saw him. How could you love him more and more every day? But you did, and you were sure you would feel this way forever.

Caroline was the first to notice you, "Are you feeling better?

Yes," you said confidently.

Javi turned his head, got up and came to you.

'Are you okay? Caroline said you were tired, have you been walking a lot?' You blushed as you put your hands to your face, wondering how to say it.

Your father called you over, 'Honey, we've set the wedding date, come, sit down.'

'Your dad is thinking the end of the month, but I...'

'What? That late?' You interrupted Javi. 'Three weeks is a long time,' you sat down, pursing lips.

Your father frowned. 'That's a bit eager for a bride-to-be, don't you think, what's the rush?

Javi grinned as he sat down next to you and looked up at you, wondering what your answer would be.

'I, I just don't want to wait, waiting means more stress for me, that's why,'  Javi grabbed your hand when you sounded tearful.

"And I should become US citizen asap," looking at Javi, blinked at you.

"Yes you should," he mumbled.

There was silence for a while and Caroline moved closer to him.

'It's normal to be stressed because all the traditions will be fulfilled, sir, isn't there a chance that it could be a little earlier?'

Your father stood up and crossed his arms behind his back, it was his thinking pose. You looked over your shoulder at Caroline and thanked her with your lips, mouthing.

'I thought you'd be more stressed,' Javi whispered to you, 'so I'm actually the one who extended the time.'

'No, I'll tell you why when we're alone,' you whispered back.

Your father cleared his throat. 'Well, if you say so, next week, and we have to get ready asap, I arrange a planner.' his voice wasn't angry at all, you were surprised.

'Thanks, Dad," you said as you walked towards him wrapping your arms around. You wondered what his face would look like when you told him about your situation. But there was still time.

'I'll go to the reception venue with Pops tomorrow to book a date,' Javi said as he stood up.

You looked at your father in surprise. 'So the reception will be all Mexican, huh?'

He shrugged, 'Our traditions are very similar, honey, and our food will be served. And I wouldn't mind a mixture of cambia and salsa, would you?' He and Javi smiled at each other.

You felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. They had both agreed on this, it was a quiet relief.

----

On the way home, Javi noticed that you were quiet. You were still trying to figure out how to tell him, how he'd react. Would he be angry with you for not taking the pill, or would he be happy? Would he not look at you the way he used to? You thought about it all the way home, so you were surprised realizing you arrived home already. There were no lights on in the house, Chucho must still be in town. Javi opened your door and leaned in, his brown eyes locked with yours.

'Are you going to tell me what's going on? I'm starting to worry.'

'It's nothing to worry about actually,' you said with a smile. 'I was just thinking about your reaction and...'

He cut you off with a kiss and slipped you into his arms. You were almost out of breath.

'Maybe you need to relax, do you want me to comfort you?'

He kissed you again as he carried you inside, he was very good at it. He broke the kiss and laid you down on the couch and within seconds he was on top of you. He started kissing you again before you could even open your mouth, but you wanted to tell him right away. You broke the kiss and sat up on the couch. You cupped his chin in your hands.

'Javi wait a minute, I really need to say this.'

He pulled his face back a little, but he was still leaning against you, one arm resting on the couch and the other around your waist. His eyes locked with yours, you took a deep breath.

'I'm, I'm pregnant, Javi, there I said it,' you huffed.

He was silent for a moment, trying to process what he just heard, the silence was starting to make you nervous, but his lips curled into a half smile and he kissed you.

Then he pulled his head back and looked at your face, "You're sure, right?

'Three pregnancy tests, yes, I'm sure."

He laughed, his brown eyes sparkling with joy. 'That's great, baby, I don't know what to say, but that's more than great.'

'Really? I thought you'd be mad at me because it was so unexpected, but...'

He frowned. 'Mad? Don't be silly, you don't know how happy you've made me. I love you so fuckin much, you're the best thing that ever happened to me,' he wrapped his arms around you pressing you against his strong chest.

'I love you too, Javi. I love you so much.'

He loosened his arms to look at your face and then kissed you passionately. You weren't sure if it was the effect of this wonderful moment, but the sexual tension between you increased immediately. The deeper the kiss went, the more you wanted him.

As you pulled him closer with your arms wrapped around his neck, he slipped his hands under your dress to cup your hips. This gave you the opportunity to unbutton his shirt.

When you were both down to your underwear, he grabbed you by hips lifted you into his lap, you wrapped your legs around him. Without breaking the kiss he hurried into the room as your giggles echoed down the hall.

---

The next day, you and Javi had decided it would be a good idea to go to the gynecologist, so after breakfast you went down to the center of town. It was a small but busy clinic.

'Senorita Botero Llano?'

You stood up excitedly, Javi holding your hand and he was no different.

When you entered the doctor's room, she told you to lie down on the obstetric table. She set up the ultrasound machine and Javi stood right next to you, never letting go of your hand. You flinched as she put the lubricating jelly on your abdomen, then she started asking questions without looking at you as she gently presses the device against your tummy, moving it back and forth while checking the computer screen.

'When did you find out?'

'Two days ago.'

'According to the blood test, you're three weeks along, is this your first pregnancy?'

'Yes,' you said, looking at Javi who winked at you.

I mean, it's too early for us to see it here, but I can see the amniotic sac, if we zoom in a little bit, yes, there it is,' she said as he showed the unintelligible image on the screen.

Javi frowned, 'I don't see anything.'

The doctor laughed. 'It's only the size of a pinhead, it's an embryo, it will grow and develop.'

'Did you really expected to see a big baby?' you asked, laughing at him. Turned your head to check screen, 'It is so tiny.'

'It is, but we can hear its heartbeat,' the doctor said, saying something ordinary to her but surprising to you.

'Really?' you said excitedly, looking at Javi seeing him also excited.

'Sure, let's have a look,' the doctor turned a knob on the ultrasound machine to the right.

There was a small crackling sound, then a wheeze, then a heartbeat. A very fast heartbeat.

It was so beautiful.

The doctor looked at both of you. 'This is your baby's tiny heart saying 'hi'.'

You couldn't hold back your tears, it was an indescribable feeling, so beautiful, so mesmerizing, Javi wiped your tears and kissed you on your head.

There was not much to say at that moment, you kept listen.

'But it beats so fast," you said suddenly.

The doctor grinned, turned off the machine and turned to you. 'Honey, that's normal, newborns and even children have a faster heartbeat than adults.'

'Wow,' you murmured.

'Now I'm going to talk to you about a few things,' the doctor said.

Javi helped you to take off your hospital gown. Then you sat down on the couch across from the doctor's desk.

'You need to take the vitamins I prescribed regularly, you need to go to the emergency, if you'd have any bleeding, everything looks good now. The first three months are very important, please don't get tired and don't try to lift anything, stay away from stress, okay?'

You nodded.

'See, you have to stay out of trouble, best stay at home and don't go out,' Javi giggled.

You rolled your eyes. Then you remembered something that happened during sex yesterday.

'Is it normal for me to have breast tenderness, to want to go to the restroom all the time, and an increased libido?'

'Yes, it's all normal in the first trimester, as for sex, it won't harm the baby, there's no problem as long as it's not too rough.'

Your cheeks flushed. Javi looked at you out of the corner of his eye and grinned.

He was still snickering when you left the room.

I was worried that she would forbid sex. Luckily, she didn't,' whispering into your ear.

You elbowed him in the stomach, 'Cabrón.'

----

The next evening, your father came to his house to meet Chucho. 

After dinner, as you were discussing the wedding details, things got tense at times. They were talking so fervently even they didn't notice when you never touched the beer or kept going to the bathroom to throw up because of the smell of the food.

Javi kept an eye on you and tried to calm his father at the same time.

You and Javi wanted to tell them after the wedding, it was gonna be better thing to do.

When you went to the kitchen to get a drink of water -becasue you were thirsty as hell-, Javi came behind you.

"Did you take the vitamin? Didn't she give you medicine to stop you vomiting?" he asked in low tone.

"Don't worry, it's just the smell of meat. I feel better now."

"Whatever!"

You startled when you heard your fathers loud voice.

"Then so be it!"

You both turned your heads to look at those grumpy men in the living room.

"Thanks for having my daughter in your house all this time and taking care of her, by the way," your father looked away angrily.

"She's my daughter too, of course," Chucho said, also looking away, frowning.

"Daughter-in-law, you mean?"

"Whatever it is," Chucho murmured something in Spanish but mexican accent, probably cursing him.

You looked at Javi with a confused face, "Do you think they are insulting each other or thanking each other?"

Javi laughed. "Both."

At the end, everything worked out, it was nice that they were on the same side, even if they didn't like each other much. Your father excused himself when it got late and then came to you.

"You're coming with me, señorita."

"What? Why?"

"Because the wedding is in four days and you two shouldn't stay in the same house or should I say room. It's bad luck."

"Dad, this is ridiculous, no way I'm leaving!" your hormones made you angrier so your voice was loud. Javi grabbed your shoulder and tried to calm you down.

"Sir, let her stay tonight, we're flying to Washington tomorrow anyway, will check the house and buy furnitures and stuff. I'll take her to the hotel when we return."

It was true, Javi's buddy Steve has found a house for you in the same neighborhood so he and his wife has invited you over for dinner tomorrow.

Since there was no time left, you liked the idea.

"Okay then, but the night before the wedding you should definitely stay apart. "

"You're too superstitious for a minister," Chucho grumbled.

"Let's just say I'm traditional," he said, then turned to you. "I almost forgot, you need to find a godfather and a godmother."

"Yeah, right," you mumbled. Javi looked at you, "Los Padrinos and Madrinas," you explained.

In Colombian wedding traditions, there is no best man or maid of honor. Instead, the couple chooses a godmother and a godfather, and it can be anyone they want. In Mexican weddings, the couple chooses a padrino and a madrina, which means the same thing.

That's why, since neither of you had a very large family or were very close to them, Javi chose Steve as the padrino and you chose Caroline as the madrina.

All that was left was to tell them, and it has to be asap, the wedding was very near.

[thelightsandtheroses]

Secret Smile: Prodigal Son (Chapter One)

Secret Smile | Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: Before returning to Colombia to get things right this time, Javi’s childhood best friend asks him to to keep an eye out for his sister while they’re both stationed in the embassy. Only you don’t need Javier to keep an eye you her. Your role as a new legal advisor is all about keeping an eye on him after all. Sparks fly, lines will be drawn and broken and there’s everything to lose. Word Count: 2.4k Chapter Warnings: 18+ blog, language, Narcos season 3 spoilers, reminder - this is going to be a slow burn, unbeta’d

Series Masterlist | Chapter 2

Laredo, Tx

The gum’s not working. How people think this is a viable alternative to a cigarette, Javier doesn’t know. He pops another piece out of the blister pack. Maybe two will help?

It’s been a long evening; it feels like almost everyone at this wedding wants to speak to him. Some of them want to say how proud they are of him, others want to ghoulishly ask about Escobar and see if he will spill any grisly details and satisfy their curiosities.

It’s a marked contrast from the last time he was home; back when he was just the man who broke Lorraine’s heart, who shamed both his and her family by not even turning up to the church to explain himself. Back then, Javier was the black sheep who ran to the DEA and Mexico and Colombia to hide from his sins. Now he is a prodigal son returned, a slayer of demons and one who’s hiding from a whole new set of sins.

It’s exhausting. Javi’s exhausted.

He thought vacations were meant to make you feel less like this, but maybe that’s because most people leave their home rather than return to it as a vacation.

Seeing Lorraine with Randy and her children sits strangely. He left the hall, transfixed by the spectre of a life he could have had if he’d made different decisions. But is that Javi? Could that ever have been him? Could it ever be him? Lorraine didn’t seem to think. Clearly past him hadn’t thought so either because he ran away from it all for a reason, right?

This time away from work isn’t helping. He’s too in his head, too deep in his thoughts. Being back at home dredges up all the ghosts, all the questions and there’s too much time to think about what went down in Colombia, in who he became to get Escobar.

Javi gave years of his life, he gave everything to that single goal and he fumbled it. He wasn’t even there when they took him down; just consoling himself with cheap whiskey in a bar.

Not that the people of Laredo know this; no, to them he’s some sort of hero, all sins forgiven and forgotten.

He’s not a hero. Javi knows who the real heroes are.

He leans against the wall, listening to the sound of insects around him and the din of the wedding inside the hall, fingers itching for a cigarette rather than the unsatisfying gum in his mouth. 

He hasn’t told his dad everything yet, just that he has to go back, that he’s been offered a promotion to help bring down the next threat. He can’t tell him about it all; about how he thought he was walking into some sort of oversight or disciplinary committee to fight for his job, that he thought he would be held to account for everything that went down in Colombia, only it was a reprieve, an interview to ask him to go back.

It’s weighed on his mind ever since.

Saying yes was so easy in the moment. He fell at the last hurdle with Escobar, wasn’t even there the day it all ended. All of those years, all that work, faded to nothing against the mistakes and regrets and the scars the job left him.

Catching Escobar had been everything to Javier for so long. He was a symbol of everything that Javi was fighting against and he needed to be stopped. Since he got back from Bogota, he keeps coming back to an old Nietzsche quote he studied once in a Philosophy college class: “battle not with a monster, lest ye become a monster”

He doesn’t think he quite became a monster, but maybe he crossed some lines. Now he needs to fix it.

This time will be better though. It has to be.

He needs to do this whole thing the right way this time, help stop this war once and for all, or at least fix the messes he left behind.

Javi’s pulled out of his reverie by the crunching sound of footsteps on gravel next to him and turns around, instantly on alert.

“Javi?” a familiar voice asks.

“Rafa. Hey, it’s been a while,” Javi replies, relaxing as he faces Rafael. Rafael has been a steady presence in his life since they were kids, arguably he was one of Javi’s first friends. They’d been paired together in elementary school; an unlikely pair at first who’d quickly realised that they had more in common than they expected. They’ve stuck together through it all; Javi’s mother, the way their lives veered in different directions after college and all the way to the failed wedding to Lorraine. Hell, Rafael was going to be his best man and it was him along with Chucho helped pick up the pieces Javier left behind as he ran away under the false promise of being a hero.

Rafael’s holding a glass of whiskey in his hands, his tie is loosened and he looks stressed before he even says a word.

“I need to ask you a favour,” he says, taking another swig of his drink.

“Oh yeah?” Javi asks, dreading what’s next. It’s been an evening of unearned congratulations and fake smiles. He just wants to go home now, but he promised his tia, doesn’t want to let Danny down either.

“My sister’s been posted to Colombia.” That’s news to Javi.

He remembers flashes of you, a few years younger than the two of them, smart, annoyingly competitive and you had always seemed more focused than even Javi. That was something considering Javi worked towards the single goal of working his way out of Laredo and exploring the world more from the age of eight.  Sometimes he had resented Rafael’s family who always seemed to have it so easy, their money and presence looming over so much of their hometown. 

He hasn’t seen you in years. You left Laredo for college and then Javier had joined the DEA and gone wherever they wanted to send him: Mexico, Colombia. He’d just wanted out of his hometown.

“Colombia?” Javi repeats. He must have heard wrong surely.

“Yes. She’s at the embassy, some sort of fancy position - legal stuff, or something like that. I don’t know the details, I didn’t ask.. she’s not really shouted about it. She didn’t even tell me why she even wanted to leave DC in the first place. I mean, I thought she was happy there and if she wasn’t, I’d have thought she’d have gone back to Austin because I know she loved it there. Look, I’m rambling but she’s my sister, man. I know you don’t talk about what you did down in Colombia, whatever went down. You don’t need to, I can fucking see it on your face, Javi. I’ve known you since we were kids. That’s why I’ve got to ask, Javi, I’ve got to ask if you can you keep an eye on her? I heard Chucho say you’re going back down there to my mom earlier and -”

Javi exhales slowly, rubs between his shoulder and collar bone as he thinks about his friend’s words.

Javi doesn’t want anyone from his hometown in Colombia. He doesn’t want them see who he is at work, or to see the reality of his world down there. At the moment, he feels as though there are two Javier Peña’s; the one that Laredo remembers and is now currently projecting their thanks and heroism to, and then the Javier in Colombia. That Javier is the one who’s reputation in the embassy may not be what Laredo expects. These two sides should never mix, he has to keep them separate.

“The embassy is a big place, Rafa,”, Javi says after a moment, “I’m in one small part of it and the chances are -”

“I know,” Rafael says after a moment, “I know that the chances are you won’t see her much, perhaps even at all. It’s just I’ll feel better if I know someone out there has her back. Please?”

Rafael never asks for anything unless he needs it. He’s the sort of person who would rather try and change a busted tyre alone in the dark than ask someone for help. It’s one of things that drew Javi to him; they’re both stubborn and determined people.

So of course Javier says yes, because Rafael is his longest standing friend and there is no other answer.

The embassy is a big place, Rafael might not know what you do but Javi’s sure you don’t work for the DEA so you won’t be one of his agents. You’ll probably be cooped up with all the stuffy lawyers he actively tries to avoid.

If it helps his friend to know he’ll be there for you if you need him, well, that’s fine with Javier. He would be there too, he means it when he says yes.

He probably won’t even cross paths with you in the corridors.

Famous last words.

Javi’s conversation with his Pops creeps under his skin after Danny’s wedding. It was the way he stopped the car in the same place they’d argued about Colombia, about him running away, for the first time. There’s more than a decade between then and now but for a moment, Javi felt like he was in his twenties again, ready for the fight.

Only this time it was different. Javi was still adamant but his Pops was resigned.

Last night set a fire under him. What is the point of staying any longer in Laredo, what will it bring him that getting back to work won’t? He has a job to do and he’s ready for it.

He can make things right this time; he can properly atone.

“When’s your flight?” Chucho asks from the kitchen doorway.

Javi closes the manilla file of paperwork and looks up. A flash of guilt rises in his stomach as he takes in his Pop’s tired appearance; that weariness that a day of hard physical labour always leaves. He should have helped him today, while he’s still here.

  “Tomorrow, my flight’s tomorrow, Pops” he says, his throat constricting with each word. He doesn’t say he asked the DEA to arrange an earlier flight, to change his start date. He doesn’t need to.

“Okay, Javi.” His father’s voice is heavy, unreadable somehow. There’s no disappointment in his voice but he can’t detect any approval either. “Do you need a ride to the airport?”

Javi swallows. “Yeah, that would uh- that would be good if you don’t mind, Pop.”

“Of course I don’t mind, son. When is it?”

Javi tells him when he needs to be at the airport, pushes the folder away for the night and tries to ignore the way his father’s gaze sticks on the innocuous looking file.

“I saw you and Rafael talking last night.”

Javi looks up, surprised at the change in subject. “Yeah, it’s good to see him again. We haven’t had as much of a chance to catch up since I’ve been back.”

 “You two were almost inseparable when you were kids; he was always interested in seeing the ranch, you rememebr that? He’s a good man, does a lot to help in this town.”

Rafael wasn’t like Javi - in the end he had chosen to make his life in Laredo. After medical school and his residency, he became a doctor at the local family practice. From what Chucho and others have told Javi, he’s well respected around town too.

“Did he tell you about his sister being down in Colombia too?”

“Yeah, he did. I don’t reckon we’ll cross paths though, Pops, we’ll be in different departments and they don’t mix much.”

“Probably not. It’s funny though, don’t you think?  She’s always been like you though, hasn’t she? She’s always wanted to be out there in the world. ‘S a small world though, huh?”

What are the chances of two people from Laredo being assigned to the same embassy?”

Minuscule - the odds are almost obscenely minuscule. The fact this is even happening feels like it must be some sort of aberration or perhaps Javi is just cursed.

Javi can’t say that though, he’s not sure what to say so he just nods.

“He wanted me to keep an eye out for her, make sure she’s alright,” Javi says.

“That makes sense. Are you going to?”

“If I see her. Like I said, we’re in different departments, it’s a big old city. I doubt I’ll even pass her much in the corridors. But if I do, I promised Rafa I’d keep an eye out for her and I will.”

“That’s probably all he wanted to hear. Actually, it might be good for you, having someone you know there with you.  You didn’t say if Steve is coming back this time?”

“No, he’s back in Miami with his family. He’s still with the DEA but he wants to stay where he is for now, not do as much active duty. Olivia’s young, I guess he feels he’s missed enough already.”

Steve gave a lot in the fight to stop Escobar. He almost lost his wife, lost time with his daughter, Javi doesn’t blame him for being done with active duty. As much as Steve and him had clashed against each other, by the end, Steve was Javi’s friend. He’d expected Steve to be like the others, last a month or two and be utterly blind to what the reality of the job was, of what being ‘all in’ meant. Steve had surprised him though. You couldn’t spend all that time together in that fire of that battle, because it was a battle, without forming a lifelong bond, however reluctant that might be for either of them.

It would be strange this time, going back there without him. It is going to be different with the promotion anyway - Javi can barely remember Messina getting much of a chance to get out from beyond her desk and that worries him. He’s designed for outside the office, not confined within it. Javi’s not sure where she’s ended up either; Stechner indicated her career was marked. Thanks to him. There’s another debt he can’t pay.

After a moment, his Pops opens the fridge, gets two bottles of beer and they sit together in silence.

Javi knows he should say something before it’s too later, but all of the words are stuck in his throat.  He just drinks his beer, runs his hands over the Nicorette gum in his jeans pocket.

Maybe Javi will come home right this time.

Tag lists

Secret Smile - @pedgeitopascal @sullyosully @catsickyellow

All Pedro Characters - @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa

If you want to be added to one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics-if you prefer to be notified when I post fics. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

More ppl has been deported under Biden than Trump, which is kinda funny in its irony

I don’t know why the anons on this site have decided I should be the receptacle for all of Joe Biden’s perceived sins. Maybe they just like hearing me talk.

The only time in recent memory I have referenced deportation with regards to the current political climate is that Trump has stated he wants to deport American Muslims after Hamas’ attack on Israel in October.

“Deportation” is a morally neutral legal action. There are plenty of “good” reasons to deport someone—if, say, you’ve identified they are spying for a foreign power or if they had fled to your country to avoid rightful prosecution by the legal systems of their own country.

And there are plenty of “bad” reasons to deport someone—because you are targeting them because of their sincerely held religious beliefs, as an example.

Specifically I would guess that you are referencing Title 42 deportations, of which Biden does have a higher total number. But Biden also experienced a higher total volume of immigrants at the border, and when you take the total number of deportations as a percentage of encounters, you start to see a little different story.

Along the way, Biden has worked to end Trump’s inhumane “Remain in Mexico” policy, which lead to the kidnap, rape, and abuse of more than 1,500 migrants. A Trump-appointed judge ruled Biden had improperly ended the policy, forcing the government back into enforcing it, and the Biden Administration took the fight to the Supreme Court and won, ending the policy officially.

During Trump’s administration, he intentionally separated families at the border. At least 3,900 children were separated from their families.

Biden has worked to reunite the majority of those families—2,500 children have been returned to their parents so far—and rolled out family reunification programs for citizens of certain countries - including Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala and Colombia - who have relatives in the US.

Trump made little use of parole—the system by which migrants may be allowed into the country even if they do not currently qualify for a visa—and has said he would end parole status for migrants in his future term.

Biden has been one of the most pro-parole Presidents in history, and as many as 30,000 migrants are able to fly in to the US per month through the program, including vulnerable people from Afghanistan and Ukraine, in particular when they are found to have a credible fear of persecution or torture in their home country.

So, as I have said in post after post, I ask you again—

Will we neglect the *good* because it is not perfect? Will we embrace the *bad* because we are unsatisfied with *good?* Will we risk the ruination of our democratic norms because in a difficult political environment, Biden did the best that was available and politically viable at the time?

Vote blue this November. And when you do, remember that you’re doing it to keep families together, that you’re doing it to grant 30,000 people parole status every month, that you’re doing it to end the inhumane Remain in Mexico policy. And remember that you’re doing it not because the results will be perfect, but because they will be a step forward.

The road will be bumpy. But every bump is worth it.

[skylarisaverage]

Thoughts and theories on RDR1 Javier

DISCLAIMER: A lot of this is a big mix of my own theories and actual things you see in the games and my own interpretation of things, if you have anything to add or points to raise PLS do so I love talking about Javier, he's my favourite, and I love talking about him and John's dynamic.

---- I've noticed that a lot of people seem to think Javier didn't give a damn about John or anyone else but himself/was genuinely a piece of shit guy/etcetcetc because he 'lied' about Dutch's location when confronted, saying Dutch was in Colombia when we learn later on that he's in Cochinay in Tall Trees, dangerously close to John, Abigail and Jack in Beecher's Hope.

We do know that Javier helped Bill flee into Mexico after John confronts Bill for the first time and he gets placed in the protection of the Mexican army along with Javier. Javier and Bill, although their relationship rocky, were good enough friends in the events of rdr2(there's a random mission where Bill gets caught by bounty hunters and it's Javier who tracks Arthur down to save him), so of course it'd make sense for rdr1 Javier to do a solid for a friend. Also, Bill obviously has a disdain for Dutch by rdr1, saying, 'Now I'm in charge! No more Dutch, and no more you.' and It'd make sense that Javier and Bill perhaps share the same thoughts on Dutch after his mental break and the downfall of the Van Der Linde gang and they further bond over that. But then John finds him, and he panics. He says, 'I can give you Bill, and Dutch is in Colombia.' I have a theory that Javier thought that maybe John wouldn't find him, but he did, and in that moment he had to choose. Bill, or his former best friend, John? Of course he'd pick John, so he throws Bill under the bus. He knew there was no way he could attempt to reconcile with both Bill and John all together, John had already been shot and left for dead by Bill's men at one point earlier in the game.

And regarding Dutch, I have two theories; 1. He genuinely didn't know where Dutch was and just threw out the first random distant location he could think of so John would go far away and be safe from him and the Mexican army(both the Pinkertons and Mexican army wanted John at this point, dead or alive). 2. He DID know where Dutch was and wanted to get John as far away from him as possible to keep him safe because he knows what Dutch is capable of after all that's happened, and wanted to get him as far away from Beecher's Hope as possible. (Javier doesn't know the Pinkertons have Abigail and Jack, so this would have all been in vain anyway) Also. when John accuses him of leaving him for dead and Javier says 'We thought you was dead, brother. I promise. I'm telling the truth.' Honestly? I believe him. When John gets shot and falls off the train in Chapter 6, Dutch, Micah, Javier and one of Micah's goons go to get him. I have a theory(although far-fetched but LET ME HAVE THIS), that Dutch and Micah got to John's unconscious body first and pronounced him dead, and they convinced Javier that it was so and wouldn't let him near the body for his own 'mental health', and because the army patrol was quickly approaching. Perhaps Javier went into a state of shock, given that he had saved John's life before, but this time, he couldn't save him? Perhaps Dutch promises Javier that they'll go back for his body and bury him properly once the army disperses because the army is now also on their tail after the robbing of the train and they have to leave the area quickly. It is only Dutch and Micah who confidently announce that John is dead, and that the army patrol killed him.

The next time we see John is when he returns to Beaver Hollow, and Javier sees this after the confrontation has started when he runs over to alert the gang that Pinkertons are coming. He's in shock, he doesn't have time to act or think hard about the situation. After the stand-off in which he points his gun in the air, he flees with Bill. Both aren't seen pursuing Arthur and John with Dutch and the remaining members of the gang.

Back to rdr1. At the end of their 'conversation', Javier pushes crates on John and jumps out the window, yelling at him to go back to his farm. If he really wanted to kill John, he could have shot him when he pushed the crates onto him. But he didn't. Javier only starts shooting when John pursues him on horseback.

If you take him alive, that's when Javier gets angry and starts cursing and swearing at him and honestly? Fair enough. If I was in a gang with my best friend and did illegal, bad things with him and then that guy comes to find me years later to take me in for the bad guy things we did together? I'd be fucking pissed too. And heartbroken. (credit to @pinkysberg for this thought, this came from their Javier analysis on TikTok I believe? A v good point and I love it)

I will always lie awake at night wondering how the heck he ended up working for the army when he fought against them so hard he ended up having to flee to the US for his family's safety. I have a thought, maybe they took the remaining members of his family and forced him to work for them to take down the rebels he used to work with before fleeing to the US. Like a Pinkertons and John situation, but in Mexico. Idk. It just sucks. John is fueled by the rage, heartbreak and betrayal of being left for dead by Javier and the gang, but then Javier is also fueled by similar rage, heartbreak and betrayal because he still has love for him, but John won't believe him. Long story short, hurting John is the last thing Javier EVER wanted to do and although he's a bit of a shithead who ended up in the army, he is not a bad guy at heart. He was taken advantage of by Dutch and possibly the Mexican army, and probably had multiple mental breakdowns between the events of rdr2 and rdr1. He cut off his hair. He doesn't seem to have as much pride in his appearance as he used to. I can't imagine him playing much music at all. He's a shell of his former self.

ANYWAY I'm done rambling for realsies now sdjghff;ldghsdlf;

[musings-of-a-rose]

Jump Then Fall - Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 5100+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This one doesn’t have any Javier, but I promise the rest of them will! When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30.

**Shoutout to @vanemando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, for holding my hand, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

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❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Part 1<<

The drive back to Corpus Christi was uneventful, although my thoughts were anything but. Memories of the night before kept flashing through my mind, the way he touched me, made me feel, the way his nose just barely skirted across my skin, the way he nipped at my chin. The care he gave me and how he took his time when he found out I was inexperienced, rather than running away. There was much more to Javier Peña than what was on the surface, one quick glance into his deep brown eyes was enough to convince me of that. Which made me sad, considering I’d never see him again. 

I blink and I’m in the driveway, putting the car into park. I have no memory of the drive here, which is slightly terrifying. But before I can think any more on that, my mother comes running out of the house, taking my face in her hands and saying a quick prayer in Spanish to bless my safe return before kissing me on both cheeks. It’s then she looks over my shoulder and realizes no one else is in the car with me.

“Did you drive alone, mija?”

Time to lie. “No. I dropped off some people just past Laredo.”

Her face relaxes. “Oh good. I’m glad you made friends.” She claps her hands together. “Come! Tell us all about your trip while you help me with dinner.”

I tell my parents all about my time in Mexico, how I not only taught English but helped to build the church and the school house, how I made some friends and how others got called to another mission.

“The university wants to talk to me tomorrow and talk about the summer. To see if they should continue the program.”

My dad smiles at me. “We are so proud of you, mi niña. Setting such a good example to others.”

“Speaking of good examples…Miguel is still single.”

“Mami!” I blush, heat rising up my cheeks at the mention of Miguel. She had been trying to get us together for years, but neither of us had feelings beyond friendship. 

She points at me. “Miguel es un buen muchacho [Miguel is a good boy]. When will you see that and go on a date with him? I want nietos already.”

I groan. “Mami! I’m not ready for kids right now.”

She looks at me, waving her hand. “No entiendo Vanessa [I don’t understand] . By your age, I was already engaged to your father.”

—-

My life settled back into its normal monotonous routine: class, job, home, sleep. Repeat. I never realized exactly how boring my life was until I had spent the summer in Mexico. 

More like, until I spent the night with Javier.

I wonder where he is now. Is he still on his business trip? It’s been just over a month since we had our…meet. I got the feeling he was going to be gone for a while and that he either wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about it. Maybe he’s a spy? I chuckle at the thought. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. 

Based on my report, the university decides to repeat the program the following summer with new teachers and asks me to give a little seminar on what I did, what to expect, what to pack, and everything that I think they should know. I have to admit, it was nerve wracking getting up in front of everyone. I felt nauseous all day thinking about getting on that stage and talking. But everyone was interested and asked great questions, immediately putting me at ease. My professors thanked me for everything and said they’d be in touch with me about possibly returning the next summer. I’d never really thought about going back, but the thought is definitely tempting. 

And maybe I can stop in Laredo on the way back. No, Vanessa. It was a one time thing. You’re probably making up the connection you felt. There’s no way he felt anything for you. 

—-

A couple months later, my mom calls me down to the kitchen where she’s gathering up her purse, a paper list in her hand. 

“Do you need anything from the store, mija?” 

“I don’t think so. Just….maybe no pork? I can’t stand the smell of it now.”

My mom chuckles. “Mexico really changed you. Carnitas used to be your favorite.”

Even just the thought of pork, which I hadn’t had the entire time I was in Mexico, made my stomach churn. 

“I guess I just got used to not eating it a few times a week.”

She nods and then looks around. Spotting no one, she leans in close to me and nearly whispers. “Do you need more…lady things?”

I furrow my eyebrows together. What is she - oh. My mom was always sort of embarrassed by periods, and so, if she had to talk about it, she would always whisper, afraid anyone would hear her talk about something that is experienced by arguably more than half the planet. 

“Uh, no. I don’t think so?”

“You haven’t gotten any more since Mexico. Do you still have some?”

“Uh…let me check.”

I go upstairs and into my bathroom, kneeling to open the under the sink cabinet. I shuffle some things around and grab the boxes of pads I had put back when I returned from Mexico. There’s a bunch left, almost as if I hadn’t used any since I got back.

Had I used any since I got back?

I close the doors and head back to my mom, telling her I was still good with pads. She looks slightly relieved at not having to traverse the feminine hygiene isle, giving me a small smile and squeezing my shoulder. 

“When I get back, I’ll need help with dinner.”

I don’t mind helping with dinner, as I do like to eat, but I wish she’d stop asking me about Miguel. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Miguel was now dating Maria - they just weren’t telling anyone yet. I wasn’t supposed to know either, but I went into the church storeroom one day to grab a few extra Bibles and I saw them making out. Which immediately made me think of Javier, the place between my thighs tingling at the mere thought of his name. I wish I knew more about him- no, Vanessa. Don’t go down that path any more.

“...you invite Miguel over after church?”

“Hhmm?” I hadn’t been listening to anything my mom had been saying.

“Miguel. Why don’t we invite him to our after church lunch?”

“Uh..no. Miguel won’t want to do that.”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye as she continues chopping.. “And why not? You are a beautiful girl, smart. You would have good babies-”

“He’s already with Maria, mom.”

She stops chopping and looks at me. “Maria?”

“Delgado.”

“Ay. That girl is bad news.”

“Miguel seems to like her.”

“Ah, well..men can be blind.”

—-

“We’re going to be late, mija! Hurry up!”

“Just a minute!” I yell, desperately trying to zip up my church dress. 

I wear this one often but it had been a few weeks and for some reason, the zipper won’t budge. I let out a puff of air in frustration, yanking the dress back down my body. Now that the dress is off my body, I look at the zipper, seeing no fabric stuck in it. I try to zip it closed and it glides easily up. 

“Oh sure. Now you want to zip.”

I toss it on my bed, turning back towards my closet when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I stand there in my bra and underwear, looking at my body. Did I…did I gain weight? I haven’t changed my eating. If anything, I’ve been eating less. I turn to the side, my hands gliding over the skin on my lower stomach. I can see a small pooch there and I grunt in confusion. How did I gain weight if I’ve been avoiding so much food? 

“Vanessa!”

I poke my head out of my door. “I’m not feeling well, mom. I’m going to stay home.”

She pauses. “You shouldn’t miss church.”

“I don’t want to get everyone sick.”

She pauses again and I swear I can hear her nod. “Ok. We will be back after lunch. I’ll bring you back some soup.”

“Thanks, mom.”

I hear the door downstairs close, the car pulling out of the driveway and driving off down the road. I wait about 15 minutes before I pull on whatever clothes I can find that fit me, grabbing my wallet and keys before getting in my car. I have to get some stomach medicine or something. I head to the pharmacy, thankful that the people I know who work here are all at church. I don’t want anyone to see me buying medicine to stop me throwing up my insides. I scan the rows of bottles for the ones for upset stomach. I grab one, flipping the box over for directions, my lips moving with the words as I read them.

“.....as long as symptoms persist. If symptoms worsen or do not improve after 3 days, call your doctor right away. Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding. May cause interactions with certain medications…”

I freeze, my eyes rewinding the words I just read.

“Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding….pregnant…pregnant…”

My brain kicks into high gear, and I stare at the bottle, not really seeing it. The boxes of pads that were sitting unused from my time in Mexico still sit unused under my sink. My aversion to foods I normally loved. The fact I can only keep about half of my food down. The weight gain despite this. My lower belly…my hand instinctively comes up to my belly, placing my hand there for a moment as panic starts to set in.

Could I be…no. Javier used a condom. He showed me as he did it. That’s supposed to prevent…prevent…

I grip the bottle of medicine in my hand, knuckles going white. Slowly, I turn and head out of the isle, looking for the one with the women’s products. I turn it down, grateful that it’s empty. I stand in front of the pads, pretending I’m looking for some while my eyes scan down the rows of pregnancy tests. It’s all overwhelming and I can feel the panic rising rapidly in my body. I quickly grab a box at random, hiding it under my arm as I make my way up to the register. No one is in line and I don’t know the cashier. I place the bottle of medicine and the pregnancy test on the counter, looking around nervously for anyone I may know. If the cashier thought anything of my purchase, they didn’t show it, scanning the items and quickly placing them in a bag as I handed them cash. 

When I get home, I run upstairs, locking my bathroom door behind me just in case my parents come back early. My parents. What am I going to say to them? One step at a time, Vanessa. You may just have some weird stomach thing. I take a breath and open the bag, setting the bottle down on the counter and pulling out the small box of pregnancy tests. I throw up once more before opening the box and pulling out the directions, reading them several times through tear blurred vision. I somehow manage to pee on the stick, setting it aside and looking at my watch to check the time. 

This has got to be the slowest 3 minutes of my life. 

When I check my watch and it’s finally time, I take a deep breath before…taking another deep breath. And then I flip the test over. 2 bright pink lines stare up at me and I hold the stick against the directions comparing them. Double lines means pregnant. Pregnant. I’m pregnant. 

I drop the stick, sinking down to the floor as I put my back against the wall. How am I pregnant? I only ever had sex with Javier and that was only one time. And he wore one of those condoms. Aren’t they supposed to stop people from having babies? Wait, if I’ve been pregnant since then, I’m like 3 months along. I should be making a doctor’s appointment. What doctor can I go to that doesn’t know my parents? 

My parents.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to hide a baby from them. How do I explain it? Hey mom, dad. I met a stranger in Laredo and we had sex and now I’m pregnant even though he wore a condom. 

What do I do?

—--

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure how my parents would react, considering they did want grandkids. But there’s no way they’re going to approve of this baby. In case of the worst, I start gathering up little things here and there - a few random pieces of clothes, the toiletry kit I had brought to Mexico, some little trinkets. I managed to sneak them down to my car, leaving them in the trunk in case I had to leave quickly. I really hope it didn’t come to that. But when I could no longer zip up my favorite pair of pants, I knew I had to tell them. 

We all sit down to dinner, mom passing out plates and filling my papá’s plate with a large portion of food. Once everyone is settled, and grace is said, I clear my throat, my mom glancing up at me as she picks up her fork. 

“I uh…I have to tell you something.”

My papá spears some food on his fork and takes a bite, chewing as he turns his head towards me, a questioning look on his face. 

“Did that Miguel finally get rid of Maria?” My mom asks.

“What? No. I don’t know? That’s not-”

“I knew that girl was trouble. Always showing off in choir. You know, her mom said she got some fancy scholarship to a music school, but here she is, still here. I wonder why-”

“Mami. I need to say something.”

“-why she’s still here? She probably stayed for that boy. Maybe it’s good-”

“MAMI!”

“-good that Miguel didn’t ask Vanessa out. Maybe he’s no good-”

“I’m pregnant.”

Silence. You could hear the grass growing outside it’s so quiet. My parents stare at me, the fork halfway to my papá’s open mouth. 

“What?” My mom asks.

I hesitate a moment. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“That’s not funny, Vanessa. Don’t you joke about something like this. You know I don’t like the humor you young people think is funny.”

I look down at my plate before looking back at her. “I’m not…I’m not joking.”

Silence again. No movement. But I can feel the disappointment, the anger building in them.

“I’m about…3 months? I think?”

Still silence.

“I only just found out.” I cast my eyes down, looking at my plate of untouched food and realize that half of it I actually want to eat, while the other half makes me want to run to the bathroom. 

“Salga [Get out].” He says it quietly, but his tone has layers of anger, hurt, and disappointment all trying to bubble out.

I look up, surprised that it’s my papi saying it. 

“What?”

“Salga. Yo no te quiero en esta casa. [Get out. You are no longer welcome in this house].”

“But papi-”

“Don’t! Largarte!  Now.”

I glance at my mom, who has tears in her eyes. She gives me a look of utter disgust and looks away from me, showing her support of her husband’s decision. 

I stand, pushing the chair away from the table. “Can I just grab some thing-”

“You should have thought of that before you opened yourself up for a man. What were you thinking? You are no longer a daughter of mine!”

My papi’s words slice through me like butter, stabbing me so hard that tears start to fall before I even know they’re there. I walk to the front door, pausing only to put on my shoes before getting in my car and driving about a block before I sit at the stop sign. I knew deep down this may be their reaction, which is why I started packing my trunk. But it still hurts. I need my parents right now, but…

Where do I go?

I turn left, driving a few blocks to knock on my friend Ximena’s door. But instead of my friend, her mom comes to the door, a stern look on her face as she shoos me away, telling me I’m not welcome in their home. I’m met with the same reaction at the next 3 places I go and I realize that my parents must have called everyone we knew to tell them not to let me in, that I had done something so terrible. I doubt they told anyone the truth, that their only child was unwed, single, and pregnant, but our church community is so strong, they apparently didn’t need more than my parent’s word to kick me out. 

I stop at a little diner across town, a burger actually sounding really good to me. As I eat, I think about what to do next. It’s getting late, and while I could rent a hotel room, I won’t have enough money to do that for very long. I have no friends left in Corpus Christi, that much is clear. So…where do I go? As I eat and let the tears fall, I think about that night, about Javier. And I realize, there’s only one place left for me to go, even if it’s just until I get on my feet. I finish eating, leaving money on the table for the bill and tip, and head out to my car. It’s a 4 hour drive there, which I can’t do in the dead of night. I drive to the highway and find the closest motel, getting a room for the night that I can cry myself to sleep in.

—----

The next day, I start the drive to Laredo, oddly calm considering the situation. I can do this next step - get to Laredo. I’ll ask around for Javier and see if anyone knows where he lives. I don’t expect anything from him, and I’ll tell him as much. But I would appreciate a place to stay while I figure out where to go next. 

After a few bathroom stops, I finally make it to Laredo, finding the bar I had met Javier in that night. It’s not open for a few hours, so I take that time to have some lunch and a short nap in my car, waking to the sound of the main door closing. I walk up to it and push it open, walking inside. The bartender is cleaning down the bar, getting things set up for the rush in a few hours.

“Excuse me?”

He turns to me, wiping out the glass in his hand.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m looking for a Javier Peña? He’s about this tall-”

The bartender chuckles. “I know Javier. Haven’t seen him in a bit though.”

“Oh.”

The bartender seems to sense my despair and he sets the now clean glass down. “Look, his dad lives on a farm just outside of town. I’ll give you the address and maybe he can tell you where Javier is.” He scribbles down an address on a napkin and hands it to me, giving me a small smile. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

—-

I pull up to the Peña farm about 40 minutes later, after the bartender had given me some general directions. It’s not a large farm but it’s not small either, and I think I can see a river in the far distance. I park in front of the farmhouse and get out, smoothing out my dress before walking to the front door and knocking. At first, no one answers. But then I hear clanging coming from the barn around back, so I head in that direction, poking my head just inside the barn door.

“Excuse me?”

The man in the barn stops hammering and turns quickly to look at me, hammer slightly raised in defense. He’s older, a nearly all white mustache with matching hair poking out from under a white cowboy hat, glasses poised on the edge of his nose. His eyes remind me of Javier’s and I realize this must be his dad. 

“You must have taken a wrong turn, señorita. Town is several miles that way.” He points and I give him a small smile.

“Actually…are you señor Peña?”

He studies me for a moment. “Depends. Which Peña are you looking for?”

“Javier’s papá?”

He looks at me, trying to figure out why I would be here talking to him. “He’s not here.”

“Not back from his business trip?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Any idea when he will be back?

“No. Probably not anytime soon.”

I nod, my face falling slightly. 

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I uh…I’m not sure. Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

I turn to leave, willing the tears that had been building in my eyes to not fall.

“Wait.”

I stop, looking up at the older Peña. His eyes glance down towards my belly, where I had unconsciously placed my hand. A look of realization washes over him and his kind eyes meet mine, an odd expression in them.

“How old are you?”

“N..nineteen.”

He swears, glancing up at the ceiling before back at me, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “He’s the father?”

I nod, looking down at the dirt covered floor.

“You’re sure?”

I blus, not able to meet his gaze. “He’s the only one I..I’ve ever…”

He puts his hand up. “Ok ok. I understand.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Are you hungry?”

That was not what I was expecting. “Oh I…I don’t expect anything.”

He smiles and it reaches his eyes, instantly calming me. “You’re not an inconvenience, you’re the mother of my only grandchild. Come.”

He waves his hand for me to follow him, placing the hammer down on his workbench before we head to the main house. It’s a 2 story farm house, sparsley decorated with furniture that he most likely got when Javier was born. It’s worn but well loved and I instantly feel a sense of safety, despite never having been here. He leads me into the kitchen and has me sit at the little island bar while he makes me a simple sandwich, asking me what I’m not eating and what is safe. He slides me a glass or orange juice, saying it was fresh squeezed and good for the vitamin c. I take it, thanking him while I try not to inhale the food, not having eaten in several hours. Chucho clears his throat and I swallow the last bite of my sandwich, looking at him as I take a sip of the juice.

“Did you tell him?”

I set the glass down, spinning it counterclockwise for a moment. “No. I only found out a couple of weeks ago.”

He nods. “How far along?”

“Around 3 and a half months?”

“Have you been to a doctor?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, I only found out a couple weeks ago and my parents kicked me out when they found out so…”

He swears under his breath. “We need to get you to a doctor.”

“I don’t have the money for that. I don’t have the money for anything. Oh God, I don’t have money! How am I going to…to…”

Tears start flowing out of nowhere, uncontrollable as I sob at this man’s table. Chucho comes to stand next to me, turning my body to hug me as he lets me sob into his shirt. He makes calming sounds, telling me everything will be fine. That I’m not alone. 

“But…but I am alone, Chucho.”

“Not anymore. You have me.”

I look up at him, blinking away the last of my tears. “Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“What did I say earlier? You’re the mother of my only grandchild. Can I assume you have nowhere to stay?”

“I’m ok in my car.”

He gives me a stern look. “That won’t do. You’ll take one of the rooms here.”

I shake my head, starting to wave him off. “Oh, I couldn’t-”

“You can. What you can’t do is live in your car pregnant and with a baby.”

He feels fatherly, warm and safe and I can feel the tears coming on again so I nod, accepting the help that I desperately need. “Th-thank you. I promise I’ll earn my keep.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no need-”

“Please. Let me at least clean and cook? My mami taught me how and I can make really good food.”

“It’s not necessary-”

“Please let me do this?”

He studies me for several long moments. “Alright. But when you’re near your time, you’re going to rest, understand?”

I nod, smiling slightly. “Thank you, Chucho.” I take another sip of my juice while he takes a swig of his beer, the sound of the ticking clock loud in the silence of the house.

“You said Javier won’t be back anytime soon. Can I ask what he does?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

I blush. “Oh, well we uh..didn’t really…he didn’t-”

“Ay I don’t need to know,” he chuckles. “But Javier is in Colombia, working hard to take down Pablo Escobar.”

I spit out my juice, apologizing profusely as I try to dry it up with a paper towel. “He’s what?”

“Yeah. DEA. So when I said it won’t be anytime soon…”

“Was he happy to go?”

“He definitely saw it as a promotion, a chance to go and prove himself.”

I knew about Pablo Escobar of course, but to hear that my Javier- no, not my Javier. Just Javier - was trying to catch him? That is impressive.

“He doesn’t call often, but next time he does, you can tell him about the baby-”

“No!”

Chucho looks at me, straightening himself up and squaring his shoulders. “No?”

I take a breath. “I know I only spent a….little time with Javier, but he seems like the guy to try and be honorable?” Chucho shrugs and nods. “Then I can’t tell him.”

“Why?”

“Because if I do, he’ll come home. And then he will resent us. I can take it, but the baby? I can’t do that to my child. He will resent us both for bringing him home from this huge career move. We are only 2 people. The entire world needs him. Plus, what if....what if he doesn't come back?”

Chucho’s eyes are hard as he processes what I’ve said. “You’re right about Javi, but I still think you should tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him. I will. When he catches Escobar.”

“That could be years, Vanessa.”

I nod. “I know. And I take full responsibility.”

“That you are.”

—----

Chucho holds true to his word, inviting me to live in his home. I cook and clean for him and, even though he grumbles about it, I see him coming to dinner on time more and more, being able to rest after a long day on the farm as opposed to cleaning. As we eat, he tells me more about Javier, his childhood and the man he grew to become. What I don’t tell Chucho is that with every story, even the bad ones, I fall a little harder for his son.

He also works out a deal with a doctor in town so I can get OB care until I can get insurance. One day, he comes home from church with a crib and several boxes of baby stuff, saying the women in his church donated their old baby things to me (he’d told them I was his new live in maid, a young girl who was recently single. Not an exact lie, but they all assumed the man either left me or I was widowed, which made them open their hearts a little more to me). 

He made me stop working so hard around 33 weeks, saying I should’ve stopped sooner. He insists I rest and relax, feed into my nesting instinct. He had cleaned out one of the other rooms to make nursery, putting the crib in there but pulling out an old bassinet from the attic, telling me it was Javier’s. 

Chucho is there holding my hand when I go into labor and is there when my son is born. Javier Alexander Morales Peña came screaming into the world, just as every bit as stubborn as his dad, according to Chucho anyway. Tears well up in his eyes when he holds Alex for the first time, telling him how handsome and strong he is. That he’s truly a Peña man. 

When Alex turns 2, Chucho demands that I go back to school, as I was only a year away from getting my degree in education. He watches Alex at night while I go to school and, a year later, I graduate with my degree, landing a job that coming school year at Laredo Elementary, which gives Alex, who will be 4 soon after, a slot in their pre-k program. 

As Alex grows, he asks about his dad. I decided to tell him the truth - that his dad is a hero, trying to catch a very bad man in another country and that he can’t come back until he does. That the world won’t be safe until the bad man is caught. Alex accepts this and makes up stories about his dad, flying around with a cape and fighting off bad guys to give us all a better world. 

One summer afternoon a couple years later, Alex had just gone off to camp for a couple of weeks. He’s 6 now and “a big boy”, so he begged to go off to a science camp with his friends for a few weeks. It was hard to not have him around, but I knew he was having a great time. I’m elbow deep in sink water, washing the pans from breakfast when the phone rings. Chucho picks it up upstairs after a couple rings and when he doesn’t call for me, I know it’s for him. I finish with the last pan, setting it off to side, sliding my rubber gloves off and reaching for the drying towel. I pick up the pan, drying it off when I hear Chucho coming downstairs. He walks into the kitchen and stands there for a moment watching me.

“Chucho? You ok?”

“I uh…I’m going to the airport.”

“Chucho…Are you finally taking a vacation?”

He gives me a small smile before it leaves his face. “Actually, I’m going to pick up Javier.”

—----

>>Part 3>>

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[lolitastories]

GHOST

Chapter 20

I play our last day in Laredo over and over again. From the moment we got out of the car until we reached his fathers house and closed our eyes in bed. A smile playing on the end of our lip each time our eyes met. Our hands find eachother even to hold a loose string on one's clothes. The breathing and exhales speaking what we wanted to say. Never in such time did I regret holding on to Javier and saying yes to him. “This is our last trip together” He took my hand in his eyes looking down as he enterwines them. I wasn’t sad, I was happy. I was overjoyed and nothing could ruin it.

“We spent almost 2 weeks in Laredo and another week in Miami visiting Murphy.” I lay my head on his shoulder. “We still have a week left in Mexico before having to think of goodbyes” He lets out a sigh nodding his head.

“I know” He places a kiss on my head before leaning in against mine again. “What if I don’t take the job?” My head shoots up in surprise.

“Javier if you don’t take this job you will drive yourself into madness” In the past days with Murphy they spent their time talking about the Cali Cartel. He wouldn’t admit it but I saw the excitement it brought to his face. He was a huge part of catching Escobar and not being there when they did, well it did affect him.

Flashback

“Does he speak about it?” I shook my head towards Connie as we looked to the living room from the kitchen. Steve and Javier sipping beer just yapping away about the Cartel.

“The only thing I could get out of him was an admission of guilt for messing with Los Pepes. Of course I can piece things together and know that guilt falls on himself for being stupid and missing the end of Escobar” But he wasn’t the one to dewell much on things. He was happy and if anytime he needed to talk he knew I was here.

“He did what he needed to do,” Connie sighs. I look over to her, she looks better than the last time I saw her in Colombia. “And I am damn greatful for it since it brought Steve back home” The last couple of days here I have seen happiness from both of them I hadn’t seen before.

“Now that he isn’t risking his life, planning on expanding the family some more?” Connie almost choked on her drink. My worry switched from confusion to realization. My eyes grow wider as a playful smile appears on her face. She has always been pretty but now I get why she was glowing recently. How Olivia was stringing extra close and so was Steve.

“Connie are you?” She nods

“But Steve doesn’t know yet” I sat back straight in confusion. “I found out a couple days ago. I want to do something special”

“Okay” My worry vanishes knowing it was all working out between the two. I grab onto my coffee and continue drinking it.

“Are you two going to try soon?” It was my turn to choke on my drink.

End

“I know” He huffed, throwing his head back to the seat. “Maybe we can run away?” That caused me to laugh. “Think about it” He turns his body to face me. “We can live on an island surviving only with things we catch and make from our very own hands” I shake my head knowing there was more nonsense coming. “We could ride on our boat each morning and we wouldn’t even have to talk to other people” What a dream. Of course I said that sarcastically. And of course, I said it in my mind. “You know what the best part of it would be?”

“What?” I smiled amused because his expression was all serious.

“We wouldn’t even have to wear clothes” I roll my eyes, throwing myself back into the seat to lean back. “It would be perfect. Just you and me, naked” He nudged my shoulder, “We could do it everywhere at anytime” I joined him in a simple chuckle for his stupid idea.

“You and I both know I don’t do hard labor” I show him my hands. Manicure done. Gold and occasionally silver rings stacked on my fingers. This is not a working hand, I don’t even deal with guns, unless I have to of course.

“That's why you have me” He gripped my chin to turn my head towards him. “You don’t have to do anything other than being with me”

“Then there's the other thing of my dream of living in a ranch. Bunch of animals running around. Couple acres” I grin seeing his mind turn. “We could also be naked there” He drops his hand.

“You’re right” He sighs like he just had a realization. I shake my head laughing, hitting him jokenly on the arm.

“Javi” I say with a warning tone. Our smiles disappeared as our eyes found eachother.

“I know,” He says once again. “One day” I nod smiling again.

“We are about to land sir, can you put your seat belt on again?” The kind flight attendant

announced.

“Of course,” Javier nods. When he is done clipping his seat belt his hands once again find my own. It was okay to dream about what we could have planned in the future. The future is still out in the air so anything is possible. But for now we need to deal with the present. We were currently traveling to Mexico to see the embassy. Javier needs to meet up with the USA counsel and since I am getting involved and needed in Mexico it was easier to knock two birds with one stone. Javier, although saddened and still conflicted with the decision, knows he was making the right decision to travel back to Colombia and be head of the Cali Cartel case.

Flashback

“You remind me of Javier when he chose to leave Laredo” I feared saying something wrong so I kept quiet and cautious when speaking with Chucho. “He wanted to leave this place and travel as far away as possible” We were currently out walking in the field, waiting for Javier to return from the town. “I saw it in his eyes when he came back that he didn’t like what he found out there” Chucho stops in his tracks looking out into the long field. “He wants to change it and even though I warned him to be careful because something that big you can’t change, he is also god damn stubborn” I smile understanding exactly what he means. “I also told him to be careful, no matter how hard he tries to change it, it is capable of changing you” Chucho turns around to face me. “I have seen who Javier once was when I heard about you in his life and now that I have seen you two there is no doubt he is still in there” His dad had the same soft eyes as Javier. “My boy has put a hard shell on due to the cruel world,” He walks closer grabbing my hands. “I know he would take it off to shield you from it. I just ask you to not give up on him because I'm scared to lose him forever” his eyes welled up and I couldn’t help myself but to hug him.

“I met Javier on his harshest days and know there are plenty more to come” I try to soothe the older man. “Even if his temper wasn’t the best match with mine at first he found a way to sneak himself in” Throught locked door mostly. “I can’t make a promise that it won’t happen but I will promise that aslong as I am still breathing I will fight and not let go of Javier” God knows I wouldn’t find someone to deal with me like he does. “It may sound stupid but for the first time I feel whole and carred for and that is something I won’t take for granted. It may be selfish but I will never be ready to let that go”

“And he will be stupid if he lets you go” Something about the love from a stranger who knows not much about you makes it feel even better than someone who has known you their whole lives.

End.

When we arrived at the airport a vehicle was waiting for us. I was wishing we would get a couple hours to settle down but I guess that will have to wait. We get into the car and I am surprised to see the ambassador sitting across from us. “I wanted to give you a personal welcome back” He smiles while he pours some champagne in a glass. “Nice to meet you Agent Peña, I am the ambassador of Mexico” He extends his hand towards Javier which he shakes.

“A pleasure ambassador Rodriguez” I smirk at Javiers responds.

“How was the flight?” The ambassador leans back, taking a sip. “I hope the arrangement

was to your liking?” Oh now this is a version of him that always pissed me off.

“It could have been better” I twist my body a bit while moving one leg on top of the other. “What is so important it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Rodriguez smiles, giving a quick nod. He places his glass down and pulls a file out of his suitcase.

“I think you will find this very important” I opened up the file, finding it filled with paperwork trails and pictures. My eyes widen trying to focus on a certain someone in those pictures. I read every single word and made the connection to things. I looked over to Javier who had a wondering look. I close the file quickly, handing it over back to Rodriguez.

“How long?” I ask blankly

“It's only been about a week but the shipment includes 2 months worth of product” I try to connect those dots but nothing pops up. “We have more details inside” I looked over and noticed we had stopped right infront of the embassy. “Welcome back Agent” He pats Javiers knee before getting out of the car.

“Mi amor?” Javier turns towards me, worried about my state. I look over making sure the driver is out but still decide to whisper.

“The cartel has transported over triple the shipment they usually do through the border in about a week” I know I was telling him but it came out more like a realization.

“Are you worried about how much product they have transported or how?” I shake my head facing Javier.

“I am worried about the reason why” The cartel have never been out in the spotlight and it is concerning that knowing this we still fall short on stopping them.

“But that’s still not it,” I nod, having a small smile on my lips. It wasn’t good news but having Javier here, knowing me was a nice feeling. “In those pictures I saw someone I know personally”

Flashback

Walking through the town I was from brought no memories to mind. “This is where you were born” We stand outside the hospital steps. I look up seeing the old, now pale blue building right infront of us. “This is where in the middle of spring a beautiful little girl took her first breath of fresh air” My grandmother had a small smile on her face. “How I regret not being there for your mother”

“Well you didn’t miss much. Plus all the fun happens when we get older” I smile, turning her to keep on walking.

“No, that is when the fun disappears. You are no longer loving and innocent” She scolded. My hand hits my chest jokenly offended by her remark.

“I am still loving and innocent,” I say, rolling my eyes. “But I guess you don’t see it because you are too focused on your other grandchildren” I continue walking with my arms folded together. I feel a tug on my hair pulling me back.

“The attention you need is discipline” She unfolds my arm and takes hold of my hand pulling us to the park.

“When someone needs to discipline their child in our culture they usually do it privately” I remark to all the people around us. “Unless you are into exhibition, which in that case, why to go grandma! But I hate to tell you, I am not into that” My laugh broke when she sent me a scolding look. Our feet finally stop and she turns me to look at the middle of the park.

“You have heard about the day you were born. So small and fraile.” Where was she going with this? I looked anywhere else other than the middle of the park. “Your mother took care of you on her own and I hate myself for not being there” I had some health problems being born prematurly and no one was around to help my mother who decided to leave home at an early age. “I know this will never be enough but when I decided to move with you and give up seeing them for what I know would be a long time, I took the chance because I care about you”

“Grandma,” I whine. I wasn’t into these sentimental moments.

“Everyone needs someone” She grabs my chin and forces me to look at the mural in the middle of the park. “I don’t know where you got your caring side. It goes beyond your mothers and mine.” I can’t look away now. I know if I do, tears would start to leave my eyes. “This is our last time together for a very long time, I know you made your decision because you care but I want you to know that the living here cares for your safe return too” I feel her caressing my skin. The mural was filled with flowers and notes. People around stopped and read, someone even saying a little prayer.

“I know who I have,” I say, turning over to look at my grandmother. “I know where I came from and what I want” I wrap one arm around her bringing her into a hug. “I will never forget the people who pray for me and wait for my safe return”

End.

“When I got my mothers cousin's file I discovered he was one if not the only politician I was 100% sure wasn’t part of any dealings” Javiers head twisted a little. “In that file, there was receipts, transactions, and picture of his family being in the same place as some major cartel bosses”

“So he was involved?” I shake my head.

“I never had my doubts he wasn’t. But of course with evidence it was hard to back up my story so I left it alone.” It wasn’t going to be much help either if I looked into it since he was already dead. “Their family was already suffering enough and didn’t need to be branded a fake because of actions he might have taken or not” The kids didn’t deserve that.

“So how is he involved in this?” I scoot closer to Javier knowing there was always a chance of a recorder or camera somewhere. I lean closer to his ear.

“The file Rodriguez showed me had a picture of the wife. The kids were young in one picture and the other, young adults”

“So you think?” I nod. No one would figure out the wife was part of it. She was always smiling by his side and taking care of their children.

“The faster I find out the faster we don’t miss a chance of capturing and shutting down the cartel. It seemed like after her sweet husband died she already had one in reserve. I took Javiers hand and led him out the car and into the embassy.

Miss l/n?” My head twisted seeing the young woman trying to catch up with us. “The ambassador wanted me to give you a message” She holds on a piece of paper.

“Thank you” As she turned to leave I looked down at the paper. I look up at Javier with a smirk. “Seems like you didn’t make a very nice impression with the ambassador” He furrowed his eyebrows as he began to follow me into the elevator.

“What?”

“Your meeting has been canceled. He will be sending over your plane ticket” I say nonchalant. I look over and see a blank space expression. “Don’t worry, I will have you here for a couple of days” I pull his face to plant a quick kiss.

“But he-”

“Don’t forget I have even more power” I send him a wink. The doors open and I continue to walk towards my office.

“Goodmorning Boss” I send the man a smile while walking by.

“So nice to see your officially back l/n” I say thank you, not stopping a second to chat.

“I will be your new secretary” A man already ready with a pen and paper stands infront of my office. “So nice to meet you Miss l/m”

“Yeah no way” I turn around hearing Javiers voice. I quickly grab onto his arm and pull him into my office.

“Come back at 10” I smile awkwardly before shutting the door on his face.

“When did they become men?” I laugh while setting my things on my desk. “Women did perfectly fine” He throws his hands to the air in frustration.

“Calm down macho alfa” I roll my eyes pulling my seat back to seat down. “Plus how can you have some eye candy and not me?” I didn’t think through my response and when I don’t it usually leads to unfortunate events. I look up seeing literal fire behind Javiers eyes.

“So you think he is cute?” Suddenly a grin appears on his face. I shrug, not really wanting to say anything else without thinking. “So it's okay for me to look at other women?”

“You're a man, I would put it past you” his steps become louder with each step he takes towards me. He harshly pulls my chair back and pulls me up. His face less than an inch away. One wrapped tightly around my waist while the other held the back of my neck.

“I am not just a man,” He groans, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I am your man” He places another kiss on the other cheek. A small grin appears on my face. “Your man,” He whispers in a husky voice. “Who doesn’t like to share,” I go in for a kiss but he pulls his face away. “I can’t look at another woman or person without thinking of you” He hovers above my lips. I want to kiss him but his reflexes are much faster again.

“Javi,” I whine, stomping one foot on the floor like a little kid. We didn’t have much time together so I was trying to soak in as much time with him as possible. A quick chuckle leaves his lips before grabbing my chin and making me look at him.

“You don’t need to fire him just-” His head now in the crook of my neck leaving a trail of kisses as he spoke. “Send him to someone else” I be honest I wasn’t too focused on any words that came out of his mouth. “Tell him to beat it’ My hands grip his hair pulling it to get a reaction but of course that didn’t work so I guess I had to do way more than that.

“Peña” A felt foreign saying his name in a serious tone. He looked just as surprised. “If you don’t bend me over this desk and fuck me I will have to go with another option” One eyebrow rises waiting for his responds.

“Mi princesa wants me to fuck her?” I nod my head excitedly pulling him closer. “Right on her desk?” A groan leaves my lips as he pulls me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and I am not ashamed to say my body started grinding on his. “Having the whole place hear how sweet you say my name?” Stupid beautiful hot smirk. I groan as he places me on my desk pushing us down until my back is layed completely down. I could never grow tired of this man, my man.

“Javi?” I whine wanting him to take his pants off already. He pulls away leaving one last kiss on my neck. I look up seeing his eyes intensely admiring me. One hand grasps my hip while the other moves up towards my chest until it wraps around my neck. Dear God, if you can hear me, don’t. I am to be praying, screaming, and worshipping another name like a new religion. His grasp tightens and I couldn’t help but moan.

“Get.Rid.Of.Him.” He taunts finally letting me go.

“What the hell Peña?” I sit up distraught. His body fell on my chair.

“You heard me.” With his arms folded he sits there looking at me. “Use all that anger” He shrugged. Shrugged! Like it was some kind of punishment. He was holding out because he was jealous of some kid? I could easily climb on his lap and take him but I know it will come back as soon as we are done. I jump off my desk fixing my clothes and hair.

“You will regret this Peña” I move closer leaning against the armrest of the chair to come face to face. “Remember the day I walked into your office?” He nods.

“I was mainly focused on your cleavage” He smiles

“Remember what I said?” His eyes switched towards mine searching for the answer he knew perfectly.

“I was too focused then on your lips” He comes to touch my face but I snatch his hand away. I give him a scolding look. “You said you held a lot of power in your position” His eyebrow lifted telling me that is wasn’t the case right now.

“Yes.” I innocently say. “I still hold a lot of power and even more now” His eyes follow me as I slowly get on my knees infront of him. “Don’t you think?” My eyes flutter looking up at him and one hand rubs his knee, then his leg, until I am above his cock. I see him swallow hard looking down at me with very little power to hold himself back. My hand starts to push a little harder, giving him the friction he was craving. “You will regret giving me orders” He throws his head back and that is when I stop and stand.

“What?” It was my time to shrug.

“Feels horrible doesn’t it?” I looked down at his eyes knowing what I had to do. As I remember our encounter back then I realise he wasn’t that Peña anymore. He was Javier, Javi who only wanted me.

“Where are you going?” Just like clock work there is a knock on the door. I ignored Javier who stood with fist on my desk. I open the door and tell the young man to follow me.

“Attention everyone!” All the people in the office stop and turn to face me. “As you all know I will be coming back to work soon and there is a matter I will like to be taken care of before that happens”

“Miss l/n?” I turn to see a worried face on the secretary as I turn to notice the ambassador walking up. Then I turn to look at Javier leaning against the door frame with a worried smile. I turn back around addressing everyone again.

“I want in every email, paper, any message or tag in my name to be changed” Everyone had an expression like I grew two heads. “I want you to change it to my last name, Peña” I swore I heard a gasp. The silence was broken when Rodriguez walked up towards me.

“Mi Niña is married?”

“Sure is” He laughs, pulling me into a hug. A couple people clap. “I got a couple details to run by you” I say seriously pulling away from him.

“Of course you do,” He sighs. “But tell me in a couple of days when you get back” He pats my shoulder, turning around but not before giving Javier a wave.

“Mrs, Peña?” The young secretary comes up and like he just won a prize Javier has a huge smile on his face. He asks his question and after that I dismiss him.

“How's that?” I say pushing Javier back into my office.

“I like it” I shake my head. “Lock the door” I ordered pointing at my office door.

“Aren’t we going to leave?” He asked while he locked the door.

“Not until you fuck me on this desk.” I say, taking off my shirt. “Then we are going to the hotel and I want you to fuck me on every possible surface” His eyes grew darker. “Understood Peña?”

“Yes Mrs Peña”

Flashback

“Javier?” I looked around, noticing we parked in a parking lot. Unknown buildings around us. It looked like the main street. I hear the driver side door open and when I look over Javier closed the door. “Javi?” I twist my body to follow his movement as he jogs around to open my door.

“Ready?” To look at his face and a smile plastered on it was all it took to take his hand. He shuts the door behind me and leads us to wherever he was taking me.

“Javi all these places are closed” There were some cars parked on the street but as I looked at every store, the lights were off with a sign that said closed. We walked along the sidewalk as I admired the town Javier grew up in. The sound of doors opening and a slight pull brings me back to reality.

“I will be right back” He places a kiss on my forehead before running down the aisle of the church. What the hell were we doing in a church? Forgive my words I say looking up to the ceiling. Beautiful moldes all around. Huge tall windows decorating the second floor walls. The column traveled with even more beautiful artifacts that led you to the stands. The whole church was white and beige with the exclusion of the wooden church chairs. The floor stones. I walk down following the steps Javier took until I stop right infront of the altar. On one side you can see a god statue and on the other the virgin mary. In the middle, a cross is adorned with flowers.

“You must be y/n” My head snaps to the right seeing a priest and close behind was Javier. “I am Father Gallegos”

“Padre” I take his hand bowing my head.

“Javier has asked me for a blessing” Switch my attention to Javier who only nods. “Is that what you want as-well” I was totally lost here.

“Mi amor” Javier moves to my side, taking my hand. “This has been so sudden so just know you can run away at any moment” I see him take a deep breath before kneeling down to one knee. My mouth wasn’t able to call his name before he spoke again. “We are about to go in different paths and to think that I could lose you was unbearable,” He rubs my hands as his eyes are fixed on mine. “I don’t want to regret a single thing when we are thousands of miles away. I want to be able to call you officially mine and I know it is a big step over a date, but I know this is what I want. I want you.” My nose stinged knowing tears were close to showing. “Will you marry me?” I blink the tears that were blurring my vision and nod.

“Yes Javi” His arms quickly engulfed me in a hug.

“Alright kids.” We turn to the priest giving him a smile “Can’t believe little Javier is getting married” He shakes his head heading up the altar. “I don’t usually do this but due to the circumstance and that I know you two are honerable I will make an exception” We turn to look at eachother smiling like idiots. I giggle quietly holding on to Javier’s hand. We stand infront of the priest as he was preparing himself.

“Was this your church?” I whisper not wanting to disturb the priest. Javier nods. “Ever taken someone to the back?” I hold in my laugh seeing his reaction.

“No,I am not that evil” he rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Doesn’t mean he didn’t try” I turned around to the priest and back to Javier shocked “It was once but I think it was due to Don Chucho giving him a good lesson”

“Padre, you are supposed to unite us, not give her a reason to run” I shake my head pulling us closer.

“I know the Javier I am marrying, I won’t run” Javiers eyes meet mine. Full of hope we both looked back at the priest so he could begin.

“We are gathered here today to unite two hearts” As he spoke I couldn’t help but look at Javier. The low gleam of the candles burning around us made the aura warm. The slight cast of the morning sun shined throught the windows creating a beautiful gleam towards the ceiling. I heard every word. Took in every word. It was like my whole world agreed to pause so I could charish this moment forever. “Y/n do you have any vows you would like to say?” I took my eyes off Javier for a second before shaking my head. My mind was conflicted. There weren't enough words to tell him how much I needed him. What he means to me and how much better person I am because of him.

“I love you” It wasn’t until I blinked that I noticed my eyes swelled up with tears. One of them escaped and slid down my cheek.

“Javier?”The priest spoke, I gave Javier a reassuring smile.

“I love you” I was thankful for not having to wear makeup because I am such an ugly crier.

“In the sight of God, I now pronounce you man and wife.” Our smile grows.

“Can I kiss her now?” Javier looks over.

“This is the only time God will see it right. You may kiss your wife”

“My wife” Javier whispers pulling me close

“My Javi” Javiers captures my lips in a tender,passionate kiss. The world around us melting away. As long as it lasted we weren’t worried about being separated or worried our jobs would tear us apart. Our hearts will beat for eachother for as long as we live and even as a ghost.

End.

[sweet-caress-of-twilight]

Going off of one of my previous reblogs, i attempted to make a list of where in the world every Disney Animated Canon movie takes place

Antarctica:

Pablo the Cold-Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros) (Pablo starts out living in the South Pole and then he goes to Chile, Peru, and Ecuador)

Africa

The Lion King

Tarzan

Asia

Aladdin is set in a mishmash of Middle Eastern countries. It was supposed to be in Iraq, but because of the Persian Gulf War, Disney said no, so it takes place in the fictional country of Agrabah, which is inspired by Baghdad in Iraq.

Raya and the Last Dragon is set in a mishmash of Southeast Asian countries, but takes the most inspiration from Vietnam

China: Mulan

India: The Jungle Book

Europe

England: The Wind in the Willows (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad), Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, 101 Dalmatians, The Sword in the Stone, Robin Hood, Winnie the Pooh, The Great Mouse Detective

France: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Aristocats, Beauty and the Beast, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Germany: Snow White, Tangled

Greece: The Pastoral Symphony (Fantasia), Hercules

Italy: Pinocchio

Norway: Frozen (Arendelle is heavily inspired by Norway)

Russia: Peter and the Wolf (Make Mine Music)

Spain: Wish (Rosas is inspired by Spain and located off the Iberian Peninsula)

Turkey: Pomp and Circumstance (Fantasia 2000) is about Noah's Ark, and many people believe that the ark landed at Mount Ararat in present-day Turkey

Ukraine: Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria (Fantasia) (the real Bald Mountain is Mount Triglaf, near Kyiv in Ukraine)

Wales: The Black Cauldron

North America

Mexico:

Las Posadas

Mexico: Pátzcuaro, Veracruz and Acapulco

You Belong to My Heart/Donald's Surreal Reverie (all from The Three Caballeros)

United States:

Different towns in Massachusetts and California have claimed to be the Mudville that Casey at the Bat (Make Mine Music) takes place in, but the author of the original poem said it has no basis in fact.

The Legend of Johnny Appleseed (Melody Time) - the real Johnny Appleseed (real name John Chapman) planted apple trees in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Ontario, and West Virginia

Lady and the Tramp could take place somewhere in New England

The Fox and the Hound looks like it takes place in Appalachia, so maybe Pennsylvania or Virginia

Home on the Range is somewhere in the Old West

Bolt takes place across America: starts out in California, the title character ends up in New York, visits Ohio, and is back to California by the end

Alaska: Brother Bear

California: Wreck it Ralph (Ralph Breaks the Internet reveals that Litwak's Arcade is in California), Big Hero 6

Florida: Dumbo

Hawaii: Lilo and Stitch

Louisiana: Blue Bayou (Make Mine Music), most of The Rescuers, The Princess and the Frog

Maine: Bambi (the forest was based on Maine and the animators traveled to Maine for reference)

New York: Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet, The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met (Make Mine Music) (the Metropolitan Opera is in NYC), Little Toot (Melody Time), The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) (the real Sleepy Hollow is in New York), The Rescuers (the Rescue Aid Society headquarters is in NYC), Oliver and Company, Rhapsody in Blue (Fantasia 2000)

Texas: Pecos Bill (Melody Time)

Virginia: Pocahontas

Washington, DC: Atlantis: The Lost Empire (Milo works at the Smithsonian

Oceania

The Rescuers Down Under: Australia

Moana: Polynesia

Pangaea

The Rite of Spring (Fantasia)

Dinosaur

South America

Argentina: Pedro, El Gaucho Goofy (Saludos Amigos)

Bolivia: Lake Titicaca (Saludos Amigos)

Brazil: Aquarela do Brasil (Saludos Amigos), Baia (The Three Caballeros), Blame It on the Samba (Melody Time),

Chile: Pedro (Saludos Amigos) (The title character delivers the mail in the Andes, between Santiago, Chile, and Mendoza, Argentina), Pablo the Cold-Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros)

Colombia: Encanto

Ecuador: Pablo the Cold-Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros) (Pablo goes to the Galapagos Islands, which is an archipelago in Ecuador)

Peru: Lake Titicaca (Saludos Amigos) (the lake is at the border between Peru and Bolivia), Pablo the Cold-Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros), The Emperor's New Groove

Uruguay: The Flying Gauchito (The Three Caballeros)

Unknown/does not take place in our world

Any of the package film segments not mentioned here

The Little Mermaid seems like it takes place in the Mediterranean Sea, but it could also take place in the Caribbean, which would explain Sebastian's accent

Fantasia 2000: "Pines of Rome" is set in the Arctic, so it could be anywhere from Canada to Alaska to Finland to Russia

Most of Atlantis: the Lost Empire, since the city of Atlantis is completely made up

Treasure Planet

Chicken Little

Meet the Robinsons

Zootopia

Strange World

[peterhollandkait]

Everything I Know Leads Me Back To You - Part 2

Part Two - Run Boy Run

Pairing: Eventual Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4143

Masterlist

Read Part One Here

Warnings: Mentions of drug addiction, depression, anxiety, ptsd, trauma related to the military, angst, slow burn, sobriety, soft!Frankie needs his own warning MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: Part two is here!! I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! PS, there is a missing scene here and if anyone figures out what it is and sends me an ask, I will post it :)

23 years ago

The grass was soft beneath you, your body laying against Frankie’s in the field. You’d found the spot the night before, just a few hundred feet from your family’s campsite. The glow of the fire showed over Frankie’s features, highlighting his cheekbones and nose. 

You were sitting quietly together, admiring the stars above you that you couldn’t see in the heart of civilization. Frankie had been explaining the various constellations to you, but he’d gone quiet a few minutes ago, basking in the calm atmosphere. 

But you couldn’t stay quiet for long. 

“If we got married, we’d be together forever.” You looked over at Frankie, tearing your eyes from the stars in the sky above. 

Frankie laughed a little, turning his head toward you. “Girasol, we can’t get married. We’re too young.”

“In Mexico we could,” you grinned mischievously at him. “In Mexico, you’re a legal adult already.” You scooted closer to him on the grass, leaning into his touch.

Frankie shook his head at you. “You’re 13. We’re not getting married, and we’re definitely not going to Mexico any time soon.” He paused, wrapping his arms around you. “Besides, you’ll find someone much better than me, someone your age, and you’ll forget all about me.”

You huffed. “Well I guess we’ll have to wait until I’m in college then. And don’t say that about yourself, Francisco. There’s no one out there better than you…Except Santiago maybe.” You smirked against his chest.

Frankie pinched your side, making you squirm under his touch. “Those are fighting words, hermosa.” 

“Well Santiago said he would be my first kiss if you ever…wait how did he say it…” you paused, trying to remember his words. “Oh yeah, he said, ‘Don’t worry, Sunflower. If Frankie won’t get off his ass and kiss you, I’ll do it myself.’” 

Almost immediately, Frankie had you rolled underneath him, his body pinning you into the grass. His face was close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin. 

“Are you sure about this,” he mumbled. 

You pushed your hands into his hair, scratching his scalp lightly. “More sure than anything I’ve ever done in my life.”

Frankie slowly closed the distance between you, brushing his lips against yours cautiously. As he pulled away, you groaned. “Frankie, kiss me.”

He chuckled, complying with more confidence than before. His lips met yours, and you held him there for a long moment, hands still wrapped in his hair. 

When he pulled away again, his eyes opened to your smile, bright and full of love. “I love you, girasol.”

“And I love you, Francisco,” you replied, pulling him back down for another kiss.

Now

Halfway through dinner at your favorite restaurant, Santiago laid it on you. He set the folder in front of you gently, Frankie having stepped away to the bathroom. 

“I’m taking the guys on a mission, on Thursday. It’s a three day trip to Colombia, a recon mission to gather some intel.” You gripped the table, anger already flashing on your face as he spoke. “No live fire, I promise.”

“How dare you,” you whispered, shoving the folder back into his hands. “You come here, under false pretenses, and tell me on WEDNESDAY? What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve seen how broken he is! You do this without him. Don’t you dare take him with you, he can’t handle it.”

“Fish is a big boy, he can handle it. And besides, I need a pilot and he said yes.” Santi crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against his chair. 

Angry tears pooled in your eyes, your appetite gone. “God, the only person you care about is yourself. I can’t believe this.” You scoffed, eyes falling on Frankie as he walked back to the table. 

He could see the anger on your face, the tears threatening to spill. Santi had done it, told you everything. Your eyes softened as you looked at him, but disappointment corroded your expression. 

“When were you going to tell me?” You asked as he slid into the chair next to you. “Tonight? Tomorrow morning as you crawled out of my bed? Or were you just going to leave a note and not wake me?”

Frankie hung his head at your words, hands rubbing up and down his thighs anxiously. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” he whispered. 

“Okay,” you nodded, going silent. The only other time you spoke at the restaurant was to ask for a box and the check, which you paid without protest from either of the men. Everyone sat quietly, unsure of what to say. 

Frankie’s anxiety was through the roof. There was a ringing in his ears he couldn’t shake, his socks were suddenly too tight on his feet, and he could barely get a breath in. He thought he would be alright once he got outside and got to breathe in fresh air.

He became dizzier as he walked behind you and Santi, chest heaving. He couldn’t feel his legs, stumbling on nothing as he went. He tugged on the top buttons of his shirt, pulling them open. 

Somehow he made it to the truck, Breath ragged. He grabbed the side mirror tightly, trying to stabilize himself. His eyes squeezed shut, concentrating on making sure his legs didn’t give out. 

Suddenly, your hand was on his abdomen, body flush against his. “Frankie, hey,” you said softly. “Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out your mouth.” 

He shook his head at you, chest still heaving. “C-can’t,” he muttered. 

“You can, baby. One breath for me, we’ll do it together.” You took a deep breath at the same time, nodding encouragingly at him. “That’s it, now again.”

Santi watched silently from the rear end of the truck as you helped him, eyebrows furrowed. He’d heard you say something about Frankie’s panic attacks earlier in his visit, but he never took it seriously. Yet here he was, watching you coax Frankie from the most intense panic attack he had ever seen. Had this happened before and he never noticed?

You took hold of one of Frankie’s hands and squeezed tightly. “Okay, baby. What’s the first thing you do when you get in the cockpit?”

Frankie took a shaky breath, squeezing your hand back. “S-Seatbelt.”

“Good, good. Then what?” Your other hand moved to his back then, rubbing circles into the taut muscles. 

“H-headset.” You nodded, encouraging him to continue. After a few minutes of his recitation of pilot protocols, Frankie’s breathing improved, his grip on your hand looser and less intense. 

He dug his keys out of his pocket after a few more moments and handed them to you. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to drive right now,” he whispered, head resting on the glass of the driver’s door. 

His hat sat backwards on his head - something he hated doing and nearly always teased Ben about - the glass cool against his skin. 

“Okay, baby. Let’s get you in the back seat, yeah?” You unlocked the doors and helped him up and into the truck before you turned to Pope and tossed the keys at him. “Drive. See what you did?” You didn’t spare him a second glance before you climbed into the truck and shut the door behind you. 

—

Once you got Frankie settled in bed and promised to return soon with some water, you marched into the living room in search of Pope. He was sitting silently on your couch, readying himself for bed. He could hear you coming, preparing himself for the worst. 

You opened your mouth before you even rounded the corner of the couch. “Do you really think he can handle going into the jungle right now? Huh? This is a fucking joke, Santiago. You’re going to get yourself killed.”

The older man sighed, shaking his head at you. “How often does this happen?”

“The panic attacks?” He nodded. “They haven’t been that intense in a couple of months. He used to get two or three a day, especially at the beginning.” When he gave you a confused look, you continued. “As he was getting sober, the panic attacks were worse. They’ve gotten better over time, but they’re still going to happen. Benny has them too, sometimes.”

“And you think he’ll have another one while we’re down there,” Santi offered, running a hand through his hair.

“I know he will, especially after tonight. He needs rest, not a combat zone. It’ll take days to recover from this, let alone the consequences of not taking his medication while he’s gone. You didn’t think of anyone else when you planned this; it’s clear as day. Frankie is going to pay the consequences of your dumbass actions, Santiago. And I’m not going to be in the jungle to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.”

You turned your back on him and headed to the kitchen before he could respond, filling a glass of water before you returned to your bedroom as quietly as you could.

Frankie was sitting up in bed, a pillow behind his back. He was in deep concentration on his phone, likely playing one of those color sorting games you had downloaded for him a few weeks previous. You set the glass of water on the side table and climbed into bed next to him, sliding an arm between his back and the pillow.

“Hi,” you said softly. “How come you’re not laying down?” You pressed your cheek into his bicep, eyes watching his phone as he sorted the colors.

“I owe you an explanation and I uh, I didn’t want to fall asleep without talking to you.” 

You nodded against his skin, sighing lightly. “I appreciate that.” 

Frankie set his phone down then, his hands fidgeting in his lap as he gathered his thoughts. “Pope is paying us 17 thousand just to go down and make a plan. It’s…it’s a lot of money and I want to give it to you for your student loans…” He trailed off, not making eye contact with you.

“Oh Frankie,” you frowned, sitting up to look at him properly. 

“I want to do something good for you, after everything you’ve done for me. I know it’s stupid, reckless even. But, this is the only skill I can use right now. Who knows when I’ll get my license back, if I ever will.” He paused, eyes meeting yours for the first time since he started speaking. “I have to do this, for me.”

You nodded after a moment, soaking in the words. Your eyes stared at the bedding on your lap, processing everything he had said. “I don’t like it.”

“I know,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. The fact that you hadn’t screamed at him was a good sign, but he wasn’t counting it out just yet.

“Can you just…” You hesitated, taking a shaky breath. “Come back in one piece, please.” You grabbed his hand then, squeezing tightly. When you wouldn’t meet his eyes, he hooked a thumb under your chin and tilted your head upwards to face him. 

“I’m coming back to you, promise.” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around you to pull you into his chest. 

You enveloped him in your own arms, resting your head flush against his chest so you could hear his heartbeat. Frankie was always so warm, a furnace of comfort and kindness. You relaxed in his hold, barely feeling his hand as he rubbed circles into your lower back. Your eyes closed, a soft hum coming from your lips as you relaxed. 

“I’ve got you,” he mumbled in your ear, words rumbling his chest as he spoke. His presence was soothing, lulling you toward an irresistible sleep. 

When you awoke several hours later, the other side of the bed was cold, a sliver of light cascading through the slightly ajar bathroom door. You sat up slowly, inching your way out of bed when Frankie dropped something in the bathroom and cursed. The bang made you jump, but it was Frankie’s string of profanities that had you laughing as you walked.

“Frankie?” You called out softly, pushing the door open further. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” he looked over at you from under his hat, the bill pulled low over his eyes. He was already dressed to leave, boots tightly tied to his feet, backpack resting on the top of the toilet. 

“No, no, it’s okay. What time is it?” You walked over to him as he flicked his wrist to check the time, watching as he grimaced. “Too early.”

You nodded slightly, hand coming up to rest on his chest. “Do you have everything you need?”

He rested his hand over yours, nodding. “I think so. Pope didn’t really give us a packing list, but I did my best. I have to leave my wallet here, and my phone. Use my card to get groceries on Sunday, okay?”

You gave him a small smile, nodding. “Okay, if you insist.”

“The uh…the pin is your birthday…in case you need that…” Frankie trailed off, crimson blush moving up his neck and into his cheeks. 

“That’s-“ your skin heated in return, eyes falling to your feet. “Frankie…” 

“Listen, when we get back-” Pope’s car horn suddenly rang out, cutting off Frankie’s thoughts. He sighed, shaking his head. “I told that asshole not to wake you.” Hesitantly, he pulled away from your warmth and grabbed his backpack, slinging it onto his shoulder. 

You followed him out to the front door, grabbing his hand as he leaned forward for the door handle. “Wait,” you started. “What were you going to say?”

“Oh, uh…” he paused, turning to face you. “I was just saying that we should do something fun..” I’m in love with you. “When we get back, just the two of us. Maybe a camping trip, like when we were kids.” Marry me.

“Okay,” you smiled. “That sounds like a great idea.” You stood up on your tip toes then and pressed a kiss to his cheek and then another to the patch in his beard on the right side. “Come back to me, soldier.” 

Frankie pressed a kiss of his own to your forehead, hand squeezing yours. “Yes, ma’am.”

—

Day three without Girasol

Frankie couldn’t sleep. He tried, he really had, but the minute they stepped foot in Colombia the nightmares came with a vengeance. The sheets on the hotel bed were scratchy, irritating his skin and making him increasingly uncomfortable each night. 

He vaguely remembered he was supposed to share a room with Pope, but at the end of the first day it was Benny who slept in the bed next to his, who woke him from his nightmares each night. 

“Sunny asked me to look after you,” he had whispered that first night as he helped Fish into the shower. 

But three days in, Frankie was even worse for wear. Seeing the kids at Lorea’s house set him on edge, making him more irritable than he already was.

You had warned him about the withdrawal symptoms of his medication, how he might feel dizzy, irritable, or extremely anxious. He couldn’t tell if his anxiety was heightened from the environment, the lack of your presence, or from his lack of medication but he couldn’t shake the feeling. It was as if he had a brick pressing down on his chest as he breathed, another one added each day they remained in the jungle. 

Day five without Girasol

Every time he closed his eyes, Frankie saw the crash. He still felt it in his bones, body aching as he moved, a headache clouding his senses. He was sure he had a concussion on top of his withdrawal and dehydration. 

He longed for a shower, for your arms. Frankie didn’t care about the money at this point, his only objective was making it back to you. He had Pope’s $17,000 and that was enough for him. 

He could hear your voice in his head, scolding him for this reckless mission but worried sick about him. You’d pull him into your arms, cradling him against you for hours. 

He would kiss you, savoring the moment for as long as he could. He hoped you would kiss him back, say yes when he asked you for your hand. 

He’d pull you to the shower with him, lathering each other in that lavender soap you love so much. 

He’d take you to bed then. Lay you out on the mattress, legs spread open for him. He’d tease you for a few minutes, placing kisses up and down your body. You’d squirm in anticipation, begging him to touch you. 

He’d do it then, when you’re a begging and writhing mess under him. He’d-

“Fish!” Benny kicked his leg gently, pulling him from his thoughts. “You good?”

Frankie blinked a few times, nodding slightly. “Yeah just…yeah.”

Day eight without Girasol

The first panic attack happened on the boat twenty minutes after they’d gotten settled. He tried to hide it from the other men at first, keeping his eyes down, body turned away from them. But Benny saw right through the charade.

Somehow he ended up on the floor in the other room. He could barely register Benny in front of him on the floor, certainly couldn’t hear his voice with the ringing in his ears. 

Benny had his hands on Frankie’s knees, trying to get his attention. Frankie was looking at him, but he wasn’t seeing him. When he couldn’t get him to budge on pilot protocols, Benny tried something different. 

“Fish, when is Sunny’s birthday?” 

Frankie blinked, chest heaving. He opened his mouth a few times, but eventually he choked out, “J-July 9th.”

Benny smiled, nodding. “That’s right. What’s her address?”

Frankie took a little longer with that answer, his breath still heavy though the ringing in his ears was slowly going away. Benny asked for your phone number next, followed by other details only Frankie and close friends would have known. 

“When we get to our hotel tomorrow, I want you to call her. You got it?” Benny said, his hand squeezing Frankie’s gently. 

Frankie nodded slightly, finally looking Benny in the eye. 

After that, Benny offered him a bottle of water and found an old blanket to wrap around his friend. He helped Frankie settle onto a makeshift cot and sat there until he had successfully fallen asleep. Benny kept watch all night, fighting off his own sleep to keep Frankie safe until he could see you again.

Will came to check on them a few times, but Pope avoided the room until they arrived on the coast of Mexico the next morning. 

Benny stayed close to Frankie until he was settled in his own hotel room. He promised to take a short nap and then go with Fish to get some fresh clothes and toiletries, leaving the older man to his own devices.

He thought about calling you, like Benny had suggested, but the idea terrified him. 

Would you pick up? Would you want to hear from him? What would you think of the things he’d done?

No. He would avoid the phone. 

He wanted to shower but he didn’t have any clean clothes, so that was out. 

His next idea was to sleep, but he knew the demons from his nightmares would claw at him, making him more restless than he already was. 

What Frankie really wanted was coke. The thought ached in him, rising closer to the surface each additional second he thought about it. He had some cash in his pack, a couple thousand maybe. All he needed was a gram or two, just to get him through the rest of the trip. 

Before he could think twice, he grabbed his room key and stuffed some bills in his pants pocket, heading out the door. 

But just as he reached the elevator, Will called out to him from down the hall. “Fish? You good?”

Frankie turned, seeing the concern on the man’s face. He knew exactly what Frankie was about to do. 

“Yeah, just hungry. Do you want anything?” He pressed the down button, hoping the elevator would arrive as quickly as possible.

“Mind if I join you? I could use some fresh air.” Will jogged over and followed Frankie into the arriving elevator. The two men stood quietly as they descended, the air thick between them.

As they exited, Will grabbed Frankie’s shoulder lightly, but firm, and gave him a stern look. “That’s not one that you come back from, Fish. We’re almost home. You can do this.”

Frankie ducked his head, looking anywhere but at the man in front of him. “I..I know that, objectively.”

“What do you need? Tell me how I can help, brother.” 

Frankie looked at him then, knowing Will saw the ghosts in his expression. He needed to forget.

Will nodded gently. “Well, let’s get you ready to see your girl, yeah? Lunch first, then clothes and showers. And then I’m going to sit there while you call her.”

Frankie gave the man a small smile and nodded, letting Will take the lead on lunch. 

——

“Hello?” You held the phone up to your ear, using your other hand to place the bookmark in your book and toss it aside.

Frankie sighed over the line, mumbling “Thank god you picked up.”

“Frankie,” you let out a breath you hadn’t known your were holding. “Where are you? Are you okay? How are the others?”

“I’m, uh. I’m in Mexico City right now. We’re all okay. I just… I needed to hear your voice.” 

“What happened?” You crawled your way out of your bed, grabbing your laptop from your desk in the living room. You opened it immediately, searching for flights to Mexico City.

“It was bad. Too bad. You…you don’t want to know.” Frankie sighed over the line. You imagined he probably kept running his hand through his hair. 

“I’m coming to get you, okay? Do you need anything? Clean clothes?” You clicked buy on the ticket you’d found for that evening, running back to the bedroom to pack some clothes. 

“Cariño you don’t-“

You cut Frankie off. “Too late, I already booked my ticket. Meet at the airport at 11. Now, tell me what you need.”

—

With only a backpack and your passport, you hiked it to the airport as quickly as you could, catching the last flight of the evening. You’d packed three outfits, a few shirts of Frankie’s, toiletries, and all of his medication. He’d been off of it for too long.

You tried to read a book during the five and a half hour flight, but you couldn’t concentrate on the words. Then you tried to watch a movie, but that didn’t work either. You couldn’t think about anything except Frankie. 

Was he hurt? Was he sleeping? How many panic attacks had he had?

When the flight finally landed, your own anxiety skyrocketed. Would he want to see you? What if he didn’t come to the airport? 

Security and customs were a blur, your thoughts clouding every step. You passed a few bars as you walked toward baggage claim and considered stopping. God knows you could use some liquid courage. You kept going though, eager to find Frankie and make sure he was okay.

You reached the top of the escalator down to the luggage carousels and it was then that you saw him.

You caught Frankie’s eye automatically, a smile immediately covering your face. He looked different, younger almost. He’d shaved his beard, which he hadn’t done in years. His hat was missing too, his hair loose and curling around his ears. 

You pushed past everyone in front of you and ran down the moving stairs, determined to reach him

You hit the bottom of the escalator and went running, dropping your backpack as you jumped into his arms. Frankie wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding you off the ground as you curled your legs around his waist. 

You breathed in his scent, a mix of hotel soap and whatever cologne he had picked up during his outing with Will. 

You pulled back slightly, hands gravitating to his jaw. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him then, hands moving into his hair as he met your lips with equal force. It felt like coming up for air, a feeling you’d been chasing for months since he had moved into your apartment. 

When you finally pulled away for a breath, you took a good look at him. His pupils were blown, lips bruised from your urgency. He smiled at you, nudging your nose with his own. 

“Frankie,” you whispered, lips just inches from your own.

“Yeah?” 

“Take me to bed, soldier.”

TAGLIST: @meveispunk @chaotic-mystery @i-own-loki @harperdoodle @wildemaven @tightjeansjavi @wonwoosthetic @im-the-daddy-here-5 @fckinel @aruthlessblackthorn @angelseye @angstylittlepascal @bitchwitch1981 @spookyxsam

[esotericas-sims]

Somewhere else, some time in the future, after the story has ended,

"Will the witness recount her conversation with the defendant on the topic of Mr.-"

"Doctor," Adela said, before she could stop herself. Her palms were sweating. They smelled like pennies.

"Your brother never received his PhD, Miss Sanchez. Now, please recount the conversation you had with the defendant on the topic of your brother's discovery of... magical relics, in Peru."

Adela shifted in her seat. Straightened her shoulders. Did her best to keep the tremor out of her voice. "Mr. Keene was paying me," she said. Her voice sounded so small, in the great echoing space of the courtroom. "To spy on my brother."

"I showed him Ruy's study. I stole a copy from in his desk. Mr. Keene had promised me some of the money he would get for covering it up. Only-" Adela paused. "I didn't tell Mr. Keene this, but Ruy didn't write the article. Florence did. Ruy just put his name on it. Only I didn't tell Mr. Keene that..." Stay on track, stay on track. Adela was brilliant at all sorts of things, but public speaking was not one of them. And certainly not in such serious circumstances.

"He was angry. Very angry. He yelled something at me, um..." Adela wiped sweat from her brows. Why was she sweating so much? She had nothing to hide. Not anymore. "He told me, "I'm going to murder that Mexican bastard." But we're from Colombia, not Mexico. I would have said that, but it didn't seem like a good time..." There was a fly in a window ten yards away. It was buzzing, on and on. The fans whirred overhead, stirring thick, languid air. Adela knotted her hands together. "I told him maybe it was for the best if he let Ruy's study stand. He hit me, across the face, and-" Adela swallowed. She could feel Jonah's eyes on her. Those awful, weak, watery eyes.

"He told me to shut my mouth, and to keep doing my job. I told him I wouldn't let a white man tell me what to do. The next time I saw him, it was after-" Her throat tightened, tears threatening at her own eyes. "It was after."

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