#maybe I'll return to it one day
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thatonecrookedsmile · 2 months ago
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Recovered photo of Joey Drew. Taken December 31, 1944, during a New Year's Eve party at the Arch residence, photographed by George Parker. Photo depicts Mr. Drew shaking hands with an unknown man in a hat. Attempts to identify the man and his whereabouts have been unsuccessful. -The ArchGate Preservation Society.
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Alternatively: 'Unknown' - Return to the Studio AU.
Even though he was the one who personally invited every guest at the party, when Joey later asked him who the "strange man" was, Nathan had no idea who he was referring to, even with Drew's specifics.
After several years have passed, looking back at the photo, Nathan still has no idea who this man is or how he got into the party.
Joey described the encounter as something that "started out pleasantly, and ended on a very uncomfortable note."
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noir-renard · 2 years ago
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a sketch of Danny with some blob ghosts 💚
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kcdahippie · 5 months ago
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Oh Gamechanger finale is The Circle but Catfish but also larger than life typical person? Amazing. 10/10 concept no notes.
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theflyingfeeling · 6 months ago
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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m-s-justice · 16 days ago
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Black Ops 6. I think I’ve seen tossed about is if the old crew is getting revived or mentioned or will be somehow relevant to the plot. 
Do I think they will bring the original crew back? Not really. Like a 25% yes, 75% no. The nostalgia bait would be Huge. A ton of people would come back, even if they’re just operator skins, I just know it. And considering corporate greed, I can’t realistically say they’re above baiting that nostalgia.
Thematically? There would be a lot going on about it thematically speaking.
A good question, and perhaps the biggest, would be “how”? Getting the audience on board with their revival is critical to the reception of them. If it’s an asspull, people will be pissy. If it makes sense, people will still be pissy because they’re cod fanboys but would not be as obnoxious about it. The only really good answer would be through the dark aether. Maybe Takeo and Dempsey’s souls could have endured the destruction of everything since they were technically in the summoning key when that happened (even though it broke in the process, and I’m not sure how one could finagle getting Nikolai back in that case). Maybe it’s some alternative version of them that was alive when the multiverse collapsed and were consumed and banished like Victis. Maybe they’ll tie in the fucking Cod Mobile lore happening over there. Maybe there’s like some kind of freaky Homestuck-esque Ultimate Self shenanigans going on there. An ego without the persona. A mind above partition. They were sort of leaning into that in Alpha Omega, so it��s not a complete stretch. But whatever.
Maybe Richtofen missed them. Their souls were bonded, afterall. With them gone, does he feel exposed? Alone? Where he, in the most intimate way, pressed against them, his very soul mixed with theirs, there is now gaping air, something missing. Perhaps the death of his family only worsened that feeling. Perhaps that’s why he wanted a family in the first place. Perhaps knowing that people can be ripped from him so suddenly, so violently, without any warning, makes him crave that familiarity, that guaranteed company, that there will always be someone there.
(Janus is a god of doorways and beginnings and endings.)
But what’s in there, thematically speaking?
I’d like to get a bit meta. (who would have thought?) Richtofen, at least in this hypothetical storyline, would be the community, or at least the old guard. Wanting that return, even if it wasn’t as great as he has made it out to be. (It was bad. He hurt people and was hurt himself.) So bringing his team back would symbolize him abandoning the future, the world that Nikolai sacrificed everything for, to go back.
Those opposing him, namely the new crew, possibly Samantha, would ultimately symbolize the future. Wanting to move forwards, to leave the past. That no one living can exist in the past. Even if it's different and scary and brand new, it has to be done. You have to keep moving or you will be left behind.
I think it would be something very hard to chew, but ultimately cathartic to the community. A more “proper” goodbye to the old crew. They were very, very, very unceremoniously killed off in a way the community perceived to be disrespectful to not only the characters themselves, but the player base,and the story itself. “Re-doing” that, in a sense, might give the characters themselves more time to come to terms with it, as well as the community.
Now, it’s fair to criticize bringing them back just to kill them immediately afterwards. But, isn’t that what happened in BO3? Perhaps, not an exact 1 to 1, but I do know a few old heads only stayed with BO3 because they would get to see Ultimis again after them being MIA in BO2 and slowly warmed up to Primis along the way.
Truthfully, I think they’re dead as doornails. At most, they live in whatever memories Eddie has. And ours, too, I guess. Anyway poll. For science. Zombie science!!!
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delta-piscium · 2 years ago
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part 2 | this is part two to this from Steve's perspective leading up to and including part one | cw unresolved angst [unfinished/for now not being worked on]
31 days until moving day.
Steve burst through the door to Family Video, swinging it open with way too much force. 
Robin jumps and opens her mouth, probably to tell him off for scaring her but he speaks before she gets the chance. 
“Eddie asked me to move to Chicago with him,” he blurts out, “Robin, he asked me to go with him.” 
Her eyes widen, “what did you say?” 
“That I’d go, of course,” he huffs. Like it’s even a question? like not going was ever an option?
Robin jumps over the counter squealing and hugs him so tight breathing becomes a little bit hard. 
“I’m moving away with Eddie,” he whispers into her hair, awed as he hugs her back. She somehow squeezes him even tighter and they stay like that for a minute until they have to actually do their jobs. 
An hour passes and Robin keeps shooting him contemplative looks.
“What?” He finally snaps after getting tired of waiting for her to say what she wants to say herself. 
She jumps again like she didn’t realize how obvious she was being, which honestly, she probably didn’t.
“Nothing, nothing.” 
“Robin,” he whines.
“Okay, just,” she scrunches her face up a bit and Steve knows that face, she’s trying to figure out how to say something to him she thinks he’ll react badly to. 
He narrows his eyes at her, bracing himself, “yes?” 
“I think you and Eddie are great together, and like I love you both and I am excited for you guys. You know that right?”
Steve nods, doesn’t say anything though, wants her to get to the point.
“I’m just also, maybe, a little bit worried.”
Steve’s eyebrows draw together, “what do you mean?” 
Robin is looking around nervously. Something heavy starts to form in Steve’s stomach. 
“You haven’t been together for very long and this is a big step. I just don’t wanna see either of you get hurt you know? I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve talked it all through? Because both of you have a tendency to jump into things without thought.”
They haven’t talked it through, not really. Eddie asked Steve to move, he said yes and that was pretty much it. It didn’t feel like they needed to talk it through though? Did they? Usually, they just dealt with things as they became relevant, that had worked for them so far. 
Robin must see something on his face because she quickly talks again, backtracking and interrupting his thoughts. 
“Not that I don’t think it will be great, you know I just worry about things a lot. This is my anxiety talking. You know what, ignore everything I just said. You two know what you’re doing.” 
He doesn’t want her to know she’s already put doubts in his head so even though he’s starting to freak out a little he smiles and shakes his head. 
“It’s fine Rob, I’m sure we will talk more with time.” 
22 days until moving day.
Steve meant it when he said he and Eddie would talk. Meant to ask about the logistics, meant to make sure they were on the same page, he really did. But every time the move comes up Eddie just seems so sure about it already. Steve doesn’t want to make him think he’s having second thoughts. Thinks maybe it’s better to not say anything, to wait and let it come up naturally. 
He thinks maybe they’ll talk about it tonight. The kids had joked about them all evening, about how fast they were moving.
Mike had made some snarky comment about them moving to a city where they knew no one and how awkward it would be if they crashed and burned and they’d have to share a bedroom. 
Eddie had laughed, said it was good they weren’t gonna crash and burn then. But, he’d also added that his band was also going so actually he would know people. 
It was just jokes, Steve knew that. That didn’t make it any less true though. Steve wouldn’t have anyone except Eddie, sure he liked the guys in his band but they weren’t his friends. Steve would have Eddie and Eddie would have his band. It suddenly seemed like a big deal.
He expects Eddie to also feel it, to get worried and bring it up but he doesn’t. If he is worried he isn’t saying anything, just like Steve isn’t.
8 days until moving day.
There’s a knock on Steve's door and when he opens Gareth is standing there. Steve is a lot confused about it but lets him in. 
“Uh,” he starts a little unsure, “do you want anything to drink or?” He offers, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say or do. 
Gareth shakes his head, looking about as uncomfortable as Steve feels. Shuffling around where he’s standing and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. “No, I’m gonna leave again soon. I just came here to say something.” 
Steve gestures for him to speak, “I’m listening.” 
Gareth doesn’t immediately say anything, he shuffles some more and looks around the room before his eyes land on Steve again, a determined look in them. 
“Look, I like you. I know Eddie loves you.”
Steve can’t help but smile a little at that, even though he’s starting to suspect he’s in for a shovel talk. 
“And like, I probably wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t dated for very long at all and are about to move in together in a city four hours away.”Gareth pauses and waits to speak again until Steve nods, showing he’s listening. 
“Eddie does things without thinking. He doesn’t think about the consequences, not anything, just does. I love that about him, it’s the reason our band has gotten anywhere at all, but it also means that he gets hurt a lot, disappointed a lot. He can handle it with most things, he won’t be able to handle it with you.”
“What are you saying?” Steve asks even though he’s pretty sure he already knows. 
Gareth looks pained but continues, “I’m saying that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure about moving with him, if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”
Steve can’t suppress his flinch. He expected Gareth to say he needed to be sure, that if he wasn’t he needed to tell Eddie. He wasn’t expecting him to say he shouldn’t, no, couldn’t go. 
Gareth catches it and narrows his eyes, “I mean it Steve, it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.” He steps closer to Steve, getting into his space. “So, if you’re not absolutely sure,” he pauses, steps even closer, “Do. Not. Go.” He punctuates every word and then he turns on his heel and leaves.
6 days until moving day.
Steve needs to talk with Eddie about it now, can’t ignore it anymore. He isn’t gonna just not go like Gareth told him to do. No, he’ll talk to Eddie and it will be fine. 
They’re in his bed together, laying next to each other. Skin touching skin and a comfortable silence between them. Now is as good a time as any. 
“Hey, Eddie?” 
“Mhh?” He hums, shifting slightly next to him. 
“What happens if something goes wrong when we move?” 
Eddie snorts, “what? Like if we get a flat wheel? I know how to change a wheel, sweetheart.” 
Steve smiles despite his nerves, tries to not imagine what Eddie would look like changing a wheel. 
“Good to know, but no, not quite what I meant.” 
Next to him, Eddie props himself up on his elbow so he can properly look at Steve. 
“What did you mean?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear as he speaks. Steve has to focus harder than he’d like to admit to not get lost in it. Even the smallest touches have an effect on him when it’s Eddie. 
“What if something happens with us?” His voice is small and he can’t look at Eddie, afraid of what his reaction might be. “Remember that thing Mike said about us not really knowing anyone there? Just, what would happen?” 
“Baby,” Eddie gently grabs Steve’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face towards him. Steve easily follows but closes his eyes. 
“Baby, please look at me,” Eddie’s voice is even softer than before, and Steve has always been weak when it comes to Eddie asking him to do things so he slowly blinks his eyes open.
“There you are,” he smiles, face open and tendrils of hair falling around it. He looks angelic and Steve almost forgets what they are talking about, too overwhelmed by the man next to him. 
Eddie keeps them on track though. 
“Like I told Mike, nothing will happen. We will be fine. But,” he continued before Steve can protest, “if something does, we both have jobs already, we’ve done this right. We will be able to save eventually. Quicker because we’re two people, paying rent and all that stuff on two salaries. If something happens we will have that security.” 
Steve relaxes then and Eddie must see it because he grins and continues, “now if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner, princess.”
Steve groans and shoves Eddie away. Mostly to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face just from Eddie calling him princess. Judging by the way Eddie cackles he doesn’t have to see Steve blush to know the effect it has on him. 
He reaches out and pulls Steve in against his chest. “Worst case scenario we have to move back. Wayne will probably pretend to be unhappy about it but he’ll let me take over his trailer again. And, I know you have complicated feelings about this house, that your parents are the worst, but you’ll be able to come back if you need to.” 
“Okay,” Steve says, his worries mostly calmed. 
1 day until moving day. 
Steve and Eddie are spending the night apart. Eddie wanting to spend his last night with Wayne and both of them needing to do some last minute packing. 
Just as he finishes closing one of the last boxes the phone rings, he’s a bit confused about who would call him right now. His friends all having seen him earlier in the day to say goodbye. Maybe Eddie needs to double-check what time they decided to leave. 
He picks up but it’s not Eddie, or even one of the kids, who speaks.
“Steven,” his mother's shrill voice crackles on the other end of the line. 
“Hi mom,” he tries to hide his sigh as he speaks, doesn’t have the energy to get into anything with her right now, doesn’t want her to ruin his excitement. 
“I thought you were moving to Chicago alone?” 
His freezes, when he told his parents he was gonna move he didn’t say he was going alone but he also didn’t mention Eddie. He knew they wouldn’t like it, knew it would be easier to let them assume he was going by himself. 
“But I just got off a call with Mrs. Hagan and she told me that Tommy had said you were moving there with- with that cult boy? The one who’s wanted for murder?” 
Steve closes his eyes and this time he doesn’t bother hiding his sigh. Fucking Tommy, he’s always had a big mouth but Steve suspects that this hadn’t been him blabbering without thinking. No, Steve thinks Tommy knew exactly what he was doing telling his mom this piece of information. 
“His name is Eddie, and he was cleared of all charges. The ‘cult’ was literally just a school club.”
“So it’s true? You’re moving with him?” Her voice is sharp and even just hearing it over the phone makes him flinch.
“Yeah, we’re friends and it’s cheaper that way. We got a better apartment because we’re two people with a job each.” It’s such a simplification of the truth it’s almost a lie but Steve doesn’t think this is the time to come out to her. He hopes the ‘better apartment’ comment will calm her, it’s the sort of thing she cares about after all. Not for his safety and comfort though but for how it will reflect on her.
He’s not sure she actually hears him though because she hisses a vicious, “If you move with him you will not be welcome back Steven, this will be the last time we speak.” Before she hangs up on him. 
Steve carefully places the phone back in its cradle, then he’s left standing alone in the living room, both too shocked to move and not really shocked at all. 
He’s not close to his parents. Has slowly been understanding just how much they’ve neglected him. He’s been relieved about moving away, about being in another city where he won’t have to see them when they waltz back into town. But to never speak to them again? That’s a whole different thing. He still hoped that they’d be able to fix their relationship. That him not being dependent on them anymore would allow him to stand up for himself. That everything would get better. Now instead, the thing he thought would allow their relationship to get better is gonna destroy it forever. 
He debates calling Eddie, wants to tell him what his mom just said, wants to hear his voice, wants to let him make it better. He decides against it, he doesn’t wanna ruin Eddie’s last night with Wayne and he’ll see him tomorrow anyway. He can tell him in the car. 
He doesn’t call Robin either, she’ll insist on coming over and he knows she’s on a date with Nancy right now. He doesn’t wanna ruin that either, even though both of them will tell him he’s not, he knows he will be. He goes to bed instead, sleep seems like the best option right now, at least he won’t have to think if he’s asleep.
Moving day.
He ended up not really sleeping at all. Tossing and turning for hours and after finally falling asleep sometime in the early morning he wakes up just hours later from a nightmare. He doesn’t remember what it was about but can feel the lingering panic. He gives up on getting any more sleep, doesn’t wanna risk more nightmares when he’s alone.
He picks at his breakfast, still thrown off from the conversation with his mom the night before and not feeling like eating, so he gives up on that too. He spends the rest of the morning wandering around, touching the walls and the furniture in the house he grew up in. The house he’s been left alone in since he was nine. The house he both hates and loves. The house he will never be allowed to return to after today. 
Then the phone rings again, it’s probably his mom calling to ask if he’s decided to stay he thinks. It’s not, it turns out.
“Hi I’m Patricia, I’m looking for Steve Harrington?” A chipper voice says.
“This is him.”
“Okay well, good. I’m calling about a barista job you’re supposed to start with us next week.” 
“Yeah?” Steve chews on his cheek. 
“I’m so sorry but due to our rent being raised we’re having to do cutbacks. Since you haven’t signed your contract with us yet, it’s the first one to go.” 
“You’re firing me?” Steve asks, it’s not entirely right since he hasn’t started yet but it’s all he can think to say. 
“Essentially,” Patricia responds, “I’m sorry for the short notice.” 
“Okay,” he says, his voice void of emotion, “thank you for calling.” 
He hangs up without waiting for a response, he doesn’t have the energy to be polite. 
He barely has time to let the information sink in before his doorbell rings. Eddie on the other side of the door with a wide grin on his face. 
“Did you oversleep?” He jokes. 
Steve’s confused for a second but then he realizes he’s still in his pajamas, that he’s spent the whole morning wandering around like a ghost in his house not getting any of the things he needed to do done. 
He hasn’t packed the bag of all his essentials. He hasn’t gotten dressed. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth. What he has done is get fired from a job he never even started.
He sees Eddie’s teasing smile, the combination of it and his sudden joblessness tugs at something in his brain, brings back the conversation they had last week.
“Now, if you didn’t have a job then I’d be worried. I’m not cut out for all the responsibility of being the breadwinner princess.”
He doesn’t have a job. He’ll have to live off Eddie and what little savings he has left. Become a responsibility Eddie doesn’t want, a burden probably.
“Worst case scenario we move back”, “you’ll be able to come back if you need to.”
If he leaves now he won’t be able to come back. 
Gareths words play back in his mind too.
“if you have any doubts at all, you can’t go.”, “it will break him more if you go, let him think it’s gonna work and then leave, then if you don’t go at all.”
“I’m not going,” Steve hears himself say as he steps back from the hand Eddie reaches out to him. 
“You’re not-“ Eddie looks so confused. “Like today? Do you need extra time? We can postpone by a couple of days but-“
He’s not getting it. Steve interrupts him, needs to make him understand because he can’t listen to him try to come up with solutions. 
“No, Eddie. I’m not going it all.” 
The words feel wrong in his mouth but he forces them out anyways. 
“What do you mean?” Eddie asks and it fucking ruins him. He feels his carefully blank expression break, despair showing through. 
“I can’t leave Hawkins, the kids,” he has to look away from Eddie as he says this. Knows it’s the only thing Eddie won’t question, knows Eddie thinks he doesn’t mean as much to Steve as the kids do. “They need me.”
“When did you decide you weren’t going?” Eddie asks and Steve didn’t know it was possible but he breaks even more from that, from Eddie not fighting him. 
I didn’t, he thinks, I don’t know why I’m saying this now. If you ask me to stop and just go with you I will. 
“A couple of days ago,” he lies. 
It’s silent then, just their breathing and the distant sound of cars down the street being heard. Eventually, Eddie breaks it.
“Steve?”
His voice cracks in the middle. Steve can hear the plea for him to take it all back and he nearly does, has to swallow the words creeping up his throat before they get out. 
“I’m sorry,” he says instead. He turns around, closing the door behind him. Destroying their future and breaking the last bit of his heart in the process.
He doesn’t get more than two steps into the house before his legs give out beneath him. He stays there, sitting on the floor for what feels like forever. 
After some time he hears a car drive away and he knows Eddie has left. He feels silent tears start streaming down his face that soon turns into sobs. Making him curl in on himself and gasp for air. 
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crying until he can’t anymore and then just sitting there. But after a while, he’s interrupted by a loud ringing. For the third time in less than twenty-four hours he picks up the god-forsaken phone. 
“Hello?” He rasps, his voice dull and raw from crying.
“Steven. You made the right decision and stayed I take it?” His mother asks.
“Yes.” He says and hangs up on her. 
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belethlegwen · 11 months ago
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The Rescue - Chp 53 - Still Dealing With The Sting
Good morning my lovelies and lurkers <3
The newest chapter of The Rescue is now live! Christmas and the Holiday season being what it is, I haven't had a ton of time (though, mostly energy has been the problem) to write, but I should still have something to go up in two weeks for you all :)
I hope you all have a lovely day and wonderful weekend! If I can get my ass up on time I'm thinking I'll catch The Boy and The Heron today as a step in helping me wind down a little. Honestly really excited to see it.
Enjoy the reading! Thank you all, as always, so much for the comments and kudos and shares <3 I apologize I haven't been able to respond to all the comments like I want to. My brain is deep in scrambled-egg territory.
Love you all, take care of yourselves and each other as best as you can!
~ Belle
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badstepsmoving · 5 months ago
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bless u to my besties/mutuals that are personal blogs that follow me. idk how you do it. im always all over the place and i write such a weird amount of muses. u guys mean so much to me i always smile when i see y'all interacting with my posts.
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nyhne · 2 months ago
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..
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pianokantzart · 6 months ago
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Not to pressure you or anything, but do you intend on adding another chapter to The One To Blame? Absolutely no worries if not. Just curious. Have a nice day.
Hello! Sorry it took so long to answer. I had planned on adding another chapter to The One To Blame, but then some IRL stuff happened that caused my inspiration to fizzle out.
I might pick it back up one day, but no promises. Hope you have a nice day as well 👍
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azurescale · 7 months ago
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what do you think of this icon style?
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bonehildart · 9 months ago
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The towers of silence
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onepiexe · 9 months ago
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puppetsoftomorrow · 10 months ago
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smth i thought a lot abt when it aired was how s6 could have so much angstier if it was our ava who'd kidnapped sara. bishop had had the plan from the beginning, sent ava down with rip, then he'd activated smth in her when the time was right and ava switched to a mindless clone who flies sara to bishop. then its the legends scrabbling to figure out whats happened to them both, and sara with ava trying to get her to remember her humanity again
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wolpatinga · 3 months ago
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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llycaons · 3 months ago
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im also tired because I only got 4 hours of sleep today but who's fault was THAT (I....I have no idea. idk why I said that. it's just my body clock trying to keep a daytime schedule and being used to waking up at noon like I've been doing). but I can't sleep yet or else I'll wake up at 8 and this whole cycle will begin again. but at least I only have four more shifts to get through
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