#maybe I'll just make another blog or something

[transgenderprototype]

Sorry if it sounds like I was having a tantrum. I'm just frustrated at how the last time one of my blogs got shadowbanned, I got a response in a few hours and it was fixed in three days, but this time, all I get are the same goddamn emails telling me to "send a link to the post your reporting" when i didn't even report a post.

And it's been almost a week, multiple emails with the exact same response every. single. fucking. time.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[wolpatinga]

[obeymeow]

being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life

[mirrorofliterature]

I hate the equation of 'someone who engages in hp fandom' = raging bigot.

but given the terrible rate of adult literacy globally, am I really surprised? I mean media literacy, btw, critical thinking skills and this thing called nuanced and the damning rise of purity culture.

like. in all honesty. it is very frustrating to have all you are dismissed because you like to write hp content on occasion by thousands of people

[medicinemane]

To be honest, seeing a post about how since binders are hand wash and that's a pain, old washboards do a good job (did I reblog that?...I forget) really kind of makes me want to get a washboard for my laundry

See... I kind of fucking hate using machines like that for some reason. Like, I don't use the dishwasher, it's so much easier for me to do it by hand (even easier if I get ahold of some good dish rags cause... when I've got a rag I can get things cleaned even quicker and easier)

Just something about the loading and unloading... doesn't work well for me

But using a washboard on the couple things I use (I mean I'm at home a lot, so I don't go through a ton of stuff), and then hanging them on one of those little... like the indoor hanging racks (which I could make if I'd just make it)... that feels easier too me

Hard to get started doing cause... it's... it's a big learning investment, not that it's complex but like... even if you... well even if I know all the steps for something, doing it the first time still is really hard and like learning, I can't say how it is for you

But like, once I started doing it and was used to it I feel like I'd do it a lot more than I'm willing to do laundry in a machine

...I don't know... just thoughts I have. Don't know why I'm like this, but I am

[ventcode]

i want attention from everyone. because in some way somehow, i still feel empty.

[vampirememer]

Hmm

I agree that Sherlock belongs elsewhere, but not that Homestuck is the third of the Supernatural/Doctor Who triumvirate.

I think the completion of the superwho- trinity is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a long running behemoth with cultural weight that featured Monster of the Week-type beginnings and evolved into convoluted narratives. It had male leads that 15 year olds on tumblr in 2013 wanted to fuck. It wasn't a TV show (right away), but I think it fits better than almost anything else. Loki, Castiel, & The Doctor walk into a bar together and the universe warps around them into Tumblr University.

And Sherlock. Sherlock had queer baiting, sure. It's not overly long, but I think what drew people to it (aside from going nuts over Bunkerdink Cumblepitch) was that it made them feel smart. It made them feel special and a little bit deranged. I think Sherlock should be grouped with Hannibal.

Now homestuck? Homestuck is a sprawling sci-fi behemoth lasting longer than is plausible and deliberately veering into ridiculousness, featuring a Heroes Breeze Into Town monster of the week format and universe-level stakes and a WHOLE lot of speculative “what if what if what if.” But it is also a coming of age story. It over-reacted to fan interactions. It is written by a self-absorbed nut-job who inserted a lot of real world bigotry. It drove people insane every time it updated. It floundered the ending horribly despite actually having solid narrative build-up. It featured a sorting system that some people took way too seriously. There may or may not be children named after characters in that thing. There are more similarities but I think you know where I'm going. Homestuck belongs in a category with Harry Potter.

unrelatedly people are always like “lmao what was supernatural doing in superwholock” and i’ve said that myself in the past but actually no. what was SHERLOCK doing in superwholock. like i know the answer is queerbait but also like. supernatural and doctor who as sprawling sci fi behemoths lasting longer than is plausible deliberately veering into ridiculousness featuring a Heroes Breeze Into Town monster of the week format and universe-level stakes and a WHOLE lot of speculative “what if what if what if” . sandbox shows cultural curiosities. sherlock is NOTHING she’s DUST. britishness does not a similarity make

[burningcomputerpersona]

was getting a twelve pack of beer a bad idea? probably. am i enjoying it though? absolutely.

[lokilysolbitch]

should i impulsively start working on my new blog theme instead of sleeping

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How I got scammed

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security

I wuz robbed.

More specifically, I was tricked by a phone-phisher pretending to be from my bank, and he convinced me to hand over my credit-card number, then did $8,000+ worth of fraud with it before I figured out what happened. And then he tried to do it again, a week later!

Here's what happened. Over the Christmas holiday, I traveled to New Orleans. The day we landed, I hit a Chase ATM in the French Quarter for some cash, but the machine declined the transaction. Later in the day, we passed a little credit-union's ATM and I used that one instead (I bank with a one-branch credit union and generally there's no fee to use another CU's ATM).

A couple days later, I got a call from my credit union. It was a weekend, during the holiday, and the guy who called was obviously working for my little CU's after-hours fraud contractor. I'd dealt with these folks before – they service a ton of little credit unions, and generally the call quality isn't great and the staff will often make mistakes like mispronouncing my credit union's name.

That's what happened here – the guy was on a terrible VOIP line and I had to ask him to readjust his mic before I could even understand him. He mispronounced my bank's name and then asked if I'd attempted to spend $1,000 at an Apple Store in NYC that day. No, I said, and groaned inwardly. What a pain in the ass. Obviously, I'd had my ATM card skimmed – either at the Chase ATM (maybe that was why the transaction failed), or at the other credit union's ATM (it had been a very cheap looking system).

I told the guy to block my card and we started going through the tedious business of running through recent transactions, verifying my identity, and so on. It dragged on and on. These were my last hours in New Orleans, and I'd left my family at home and gone out to see some of the pre-Mardi Gras krewe celebrations and get a muffalata, and I could tell that I was going to run out of time before I finished talking to this guy.

"Look," I said, "you've got all my details, you've frozen the card. I gotta go home and meet my family and head to the airport. I'll call you back on the after-hours number once I'm through security, all right?"

He was frustrated, but that was his problem. I hung up, got my sandwich, went to the airport, and we checked in. It was total chaos: an Alaska Air 737 Max had just lost its door-plug in mid-air and every Max in every airline's fleet had been grounded, so the check in was crammed with people trying to rebook. We got through to the gate and I sat down to call the CU's after-hours line. The person on the other end told me that she could only handle lost and stolen cards, not fraud, and given that I'd already frozen the card, I should just drop by the branch on Monday to get a new card.

We flew home, and later the next day, I logged into my account and made a list of all the fraudulent transactions and printed them out, and on Monday morning, I drove to the bank to deal with all the paperwork. The folks at the CU were even more pissed than I was. The fraud that run up to more than $8,000, and if Visa refused to take it out of the merchants where the card had been used, my little credit union would have to eat the loss.

I agreed and commiserated. I also pointed out that their outsource, after-hours fraud center bore some blame here: I'd canceled the card on Saturday but most of the fraud had taken place on Sunday. Something had gone wrong.

One cool thing about banking at a tiny credit-union is that you end up talking to people who have actual authority, responsibility and agency. It turned out the the woman who was processing my fraud paperwork was a VP, and she decided to look into it. A few minutes later she came back and told me that the fraud center had no record of having called me on Saturday.

"That was the fraudster," she said.

Oh, shit. I frantically rewound my conversation, trying to figure out if this could possibly be true. I hadn't given him anything apart from some very anodyne info, like what city I live in (which is in my Wikipedia entry), my date of birth (ditto), and the last four digits of my card.

Wait a sec.

He hadn't asked for the last four digits. He'd asked for the last seven digits. At the time, I'd found that very frustrating, but now – "The first nine digits are the same for every card you issue, right?" I asked the VP.

I'd given him my entire card number.

Goddammit.

The thing is, I know a lot about fraud. I'm writing an entire series of novels about this kind of scam:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

And most summers, I go to Defcon, and I always go to the "social engineering" competitions where an audience listens as a hacker in a soundproof booth cold-calls merchants (with the owner's permission) and tries to con whoever answers the phone into giving up important information.

But I'd been conned.

Now look, I knew I could be conned. I'd been conned before, 13 years ago, by a Twitter worm that successfully phished out of my password via DM:

https://locusmag.com/2010/05/cory-doctorow-persistence-pays-parasites/

That scam had required a miracle of timing. It started the day before, when I'd reset my phone to factory defaults and reinstalled all my apps. That same day, I'd published two big online features that a lot of people were talking about. The next morning, we were late getting out of the house, so by the time my wife and I dropped the kid at daycare and went to the coffee shop, it had a long line. Rather than wait in line with me, my wife sat down to read a newspaper, and so I pulled out my phone and found a Twitter DM from a friend asking "is this you?" with a URL.

Assuming this was something to do with those articles I'd published the day before, I clicked the link and got prompted for my Twitter login again. This had been happening all day because I'd done that mobile reinstall the day before and all my stored passwords had been wiped. I entered it but the page timed out. By that time, the coffees were ready. We sat and chatted for a bit, then went our own ways.

I was on my way to the office when I checked my phone again. I had a whole string of DMs from other friends. Each one read "is this you?" and had a URL.

Oh, shit, I'd been phished.

If I hadn't reinstalled my mobile OS the day before. If I hadn't published a pair of big articles the day before. If we hadn't been late getting out the door. If we had been a little more late getting out the door (so that I'd have seen the multiple DMs, which would have tipped me off).

There's a name for this in security circles: "Swiss-cheese security." Imagine multiple slices of Swiss cheese all stacked up, the holes in one slice blocked by the slice below it. All the slices move around and every now and again, a hole opens up that goes all the way through the stack. Zap!

The fraudster who tricked me out of my credit card number had Swiss cheese security on his side. Yes, he spoofed my bank's caller ID, but that wouldn't have been enough to fool me if I hadn't been on vacation, having just used a pair of dodgy ATMs, in a hurry and distracted. If the 737 Max disaster hadn't happened that day and I'd had more time at the gate, I'd have called my bank back. If my bank didn't use a slightly crappy outsource/out-of-hours fraud center that I'd already had sub-par experiences with. If, if, if.

The next Friday night, at 5:30PM, the fraudster called me back, pretending to be the bank's after-hours center. He told me my card had been compromised again. But: I hadn't removed my card from my wallet since I'd had it replaced. Also, it was half an hour after the bank closed for the long weekend, a very fraud-friendly time. And when I told him I'd call him back and asked for the after-hours fraud number, he got very threatening and warned me that because I'd now been notified about the fraud that any losses the bank suffered after I hung up the phone without completing the fraud protocol would be billed to me. I hung up on him. He called me back immediately. I hung up on him again and put my phone into do-not-disturb.

The following Tuesday, I called my bank and spoke to their head of risk-management. I went through everything I'd figured out about the fraudsters, and she told me that credit unions across America were being hit by this scam, by fraudsters who somehow knew CU customers' phone numbers and names, and which CU they banked at. This was key: my phone number is a reasonably well-kept secret. You can get it by spending money with Equifax or another nonconsensual doxing giant, but you can't just google it or get it at any of the free services. The fact that the fraudsters knew where I banked, knew my name, and had my phone number had really caused me to let down my guard.

The risk management person and I talked about how the credit union could mitigate this attack: for example, by better-training the after-hours card-loss staff to be on the alert for calls from people who had been contacted about supposed card fraud. We also went through the confusing phone-menu that had funneled me to the wrong department when I called in, and worked through alternate wording for the menu system that would be clearer (this is the best part about banking with a small CU – you can talk directly to the responsible person and have a productive discussion!). I even convinced her to buy a ticket to next summer's Defcon to attend the social engineering competitions.

There's a leak somewhere in the CU systems' supply chain. Maybe it's Zelle, or the small number of corresponding banks that CUs rely on for SWIFT transaction forwarding. Maybe it's even those after-hours fraud/card-loss centers. But all across the USA, CU customers are getting calls with spoofed caller IDs from fraudsters who know their registered phone numbers and where they bank.

I've been mulling this over for most of a month now, and one thing has really been eating at me: the way that AI is going to make this kind of problem much worse.

Not because AI is going to commit fraud, though.

One of the truest things I know about AI is: "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

I trusted this fraudster specifically because I knew that the outsource, out-of-hours contractors my bank uses have crummy headsets, don't know how to pronounce my bank's name, and have long-ass, tedious, and pointless standardized questionnaires they run through when taking fraud reports. All of this created cover for the fraudster, whose plausibility was enhanced by the rough edges in his pitch - they didn't raise red flags.

As this kind of fraud reporting and fraud contacting is increasingly outsourced to AI, bank customers will be conditioned to dealing with semi-automated systems that make stupid mistakes, force you to repeat yourself, ask you questions they should already know the answers to, and so on. In other words, AI will groom bank customers to be phishing victims.

This is a mistake the finance sector keeps making. 15 years ago, Ben Laurie excoriated the UK banks for their "Verified By Visa" system, which validated credit card transactions by taking users to a third party site and requiring them to re-enter parts of their password there:

https://web.archive.org/web/20090331094020/http://www.links.org/?p=591

This is exactly how a phishing attack works. As Laurie pointed out, this was the banks training their customers to be phished.

I came close to getting phished again today, as it happens. I got back from Berlin on Friday and my suitcase was damaged in transit. I've been dealing with the airline, which means I've really been dealing with their third-party, outsource luggage-damage service. They have a terrible website, their emails are incoherent, and they officiously demand the same information over and over again.

This morning, I got a scam email asking me for more information to complete my damaged luggage claim. It was a terrible email, from a noreply@ email address, and it was vague, officious, and dishearteningly bureaucratic. For just a moment, my finger hovered over the phishing link, and then I looked a little closer.

On any other day, it wouldn't have had a chance. Today – right after I had my luggage wrecked, while I'm still jetlagged, and after days of dealing with my airline's terrible outsource partner – it almost worked.

So much fraud is a Swiss-cheese attack, and while companies can't close all the holes, they can stop creating new ones.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to post about it whenever I get scammed. I find the inner workings of scams to be fascinating, and it's also important to remind people that everyone is vulnerable sometimes, and scammers are willing to try endless variations until an attack lands at just the right place, at just the right time, in just the right way. If you think you can't get scammed, that makes you especially vulnerable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[usurpator]

This was simultaneously one of the worst and best reading experiences of my life

[front-facing-pokemon]

[leoascendente]

PAC/ Your destined person 💘

Hi loves and welcome to this new PAC! I'll be taking a time from this blog to focus on another projects, it doesn't mean that this blog will be unactive, it is just that I won't post that much pacs or astrology, I'll be more focused in my Spanish blog for a while. Anyway, private readings will still be open and from time to time I'll post something over here because Tumblr is and always will be my safe place.

Take a deep breath before choosig your pile and pick the picture you feel called the most, because this is a general reading it doesn't have to fully resonate, keep what does and leave what doesn't for somebody else, you can always choose another pile :)

For private readings click here

My blog in Spanish here

Decks: Romantic tarot, dark wood tarot, tea leafs oracle, romance angels oracle, love oracle cards

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1/ Pile 2

Pile 3/ Pile 4

Pile 1:

Who is your destined person?:

(Cards: 6 of swords, 3 of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, moon, hermit, queen of wands, king of swords/ hermit rev, death, wheel of fortune, 5 of pentacles, sun)

This person probably comes from a very different backgroud than you, it will seem like you don't have much in common at first, they have probably moved from the place they were born and are getting used to the new place. They are a hard worker, right now they are putting a lot of effort in this area of their life, probably to help financially their beloved ones, I'm hearing to help their parents, they are so focused in making money that they are not nurturing other aspects of their life like socializing, the good thing is that they don't seem to care about it. They got the hermit with two different decks, once upright and another time on reversed, it gives me the feeling that they feel very comfortable in their solitude but at the same time they are craving significative connections and a reason to get out of their isolation, for some reason they feel very exhausted but they can't sleep at night, they are like an owl, by night they seem to be more active even though they should be super tired because their work is exhausting (I'm writting this at 13:31 on my clock, maybe it's a relevant number for you or this connection). This person has some emotional issues that keeps them up at night, it's like they need these few extra hours of the day that they are taking from their resting time to relax when the rest of the world is quiet, maybe it's because they are far from home or because they miss their family, because this is related to their emotional world but for what I see here they are thinking too much about others and not about themselves and their mental peace. Anyway, this person is really attractive, for what I see in the cards, they have some not-so-secret admirers that are chasing them or looking desperately for their attention, whatever they are trying is not working with your person, your person seems to be an introvert or at least, they need to feel emotionally connected to something or someone to invest their energy fully on it, I could even say that they are a little shy when it comes to interact with other people. this person has an strong masculine energy, also I keep hearing the word resilient so this may be the most noticable trait about them, the thing here with the admirers is that they are chasing your person, like taking the masculine role but only for their outside appearance, your person seems to need something more to connect with someone and they prefer to court that to be courted. Right now they are closing chapters, there's a massive divine intervention in their life even if they are not aware of this, this is happening for their highest good because they need to get out of this hermit mode and start experiencing good things. They seem to be a little apathic and their lack of rest could be affecting their health too, even if they want it or not, a change is coming to align them, there will be a shift in their luck very soon, especially to help them financially because they seem to be struggling in this aspect. your person is really calmed and peaceful, very goal oriented and commited to what's important to them, you'll love the kind of person they are and the peace they'll bring to your life.

Your connection:

(Cards: deception, new love, this could be the one, playfulness/ girl with a snake, heartbroken, the phoenix, heart with a key, wedding rings)

Okay, your person had a very tough relationship with a toxic person that played with their heart and left them in the dust, this might be one of the reasons why they are avoiding so much human contact, especially with romantic interests, their heart is still recovering from this heartbreak. When you appear in their life, everything will trasform, it will be so magical and unexpected that they won't know what to do, you'll catch them off guard, everything will feel different with you, it's like they've been in a grey and clouded place and you appear to make the sun shine again in their life. This past relationship marked them but knowing you will make them realize that not everyone is the same, you will make them gain hope in love again, it will happen naturally and your relationship will be blossoming peacefully but with certainty, from the first moments they'll know that you are meant for them and will work to make you know it. This is a soulmate connection so you'll feel very comfortable with eachother like you know the other from a very long time, I see a lot of funny dates together, like an exhibition of some kind (I'm translating directly from google but I mean those places wih a ferris wheel, bumper cars, cotton candy and those places where you get a teddy bear if you drop all the bottle from the shelf, something that sort, please comment me the correct name of this lol). An important thing I see here is that your person might be shy at first and will try to make things the right way, not forcing anything, but what I like the most is that even though they have their heart wounded, they won't pay this pain with you, in fact, you'll be a reason to stop thinking about the past pain and focusing on the precious future you could share together, you'll ignite them faith in life, they'll find motivation again, they might even realize that they weren't as comfortable in their solitude as they wanted to project. I see a fast commitment, I also see that they will leave you the key of their home so you can stay there even when they are working, they'll try to make you part of their day to day life and will be very honest with your from the start, you can ask them anything and they will respond with all the truth, even if the truth doesn't leave them in good place, they want you to know every detail about them, you can also trust in them to share whatever you want, they will be super understanding and compassionate.

Signals:

(Tea leafs: sunrise, woman, feather, bull, desk, scissors, caterpillar)

By the moment you are about to meet your person, you'll be finding out the true intentions of a woman in your life, I don't know why but the energy of this woman gives me really bad vibe, like a two faced person, is someone that you should put distance with in order to protect your energy because in terms of love she could often have bad experiences and she will not be happy for you when you find your soulmate. There also this message of not sharing your ideas about the future, not just in love but about your goals or plans in work too, if you are thinking about initiate something by your own just keep it private for a while, or at least just share it with your closest ones because this woman or femenine energy around you don't what you to thrive. The good thing is that you got the card of the sunrise, so you'll be having a lot of new ideas that will lead you to find success, I'd suggest you to write down those ideas,take time to organize them and start implementing them in aries season, at the beggining of the spring, energies will be at your favor. For your person they'll be working really hard, there might be a chance for a rise or getting a higher position in their work field and they'll be focused into that, for others of you there might also be the chance that your person will be getting another job with a better salary, I'm getting especially this second option because your person seems to be very unhappy in their current job and they need better conditions, it also seems like there is some opposition from someone in their work and your person has to keep themselves in a defensive position to deal with it and they don't want this no more, they know they deserve a healthier work enviroment, maybe there's an abusive boss here. There's the possibility that you are really close to meet eachother because of the cards on tarot and this message so be aware of your surroundings because your person is closer than you imagine :)

Channeled messages: a puppy, sexy but don't know it, romantic dates, strong arms, meet them in a public place like a park, a market or a place with art or literature involved like museums or book stores, gift giving, a soft pink or white dress, night dates, overthinking, financial struggle, 999, 1333, virgo, scorpio, cancer and leo, might be seasons for you two meet or your person's sign.

Pile 2:

Who is your destined person?

(Cards: 9 of wands, 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, justice, death, world/ devil, justice, queen of pentacles, judgement, king of wands)

Okay, lets start saying that you know this person but never had anything romantic with them besides a crush for some of you, they are someone that is familiar to you, maybe you have talked at some point or is simplier than that and you follow them on social media or something that sort, you know eachother but there's almost any interaction between you two. I usually say on private readings when I see that the consultant know their person that Universe has a wicked sense of humor and sometimes, this person can be so random as your crush on primary school, someone you talked once in a party, a friend of a friend and those kind of things, so don't be dissapointed when you see that you know your person because many times, even though you know them, they can be the most random person you could ever imagine. Right now your person is going through some legal issues, it can be a divorce for some of you but for others it might be more related to an spiritual awakening where they are taking resposibility over things they have done in the past, like paying some karma and realizing why they are paying it. The good thing is that your person is closing a chapter, this awakening can be hard, because of the devil card, but it also will bring them a big relief and a change in their reality for the best, there's also a change in their way to face life. For what I see in the cards, your person is wealthy or well positioned in life, probably has a high position in their work field, for some they can work in something related to laws but is an enviroment with a lot of competition and stabs in the back, you have to be a little ruthless to thrive in that area, there's also a chance that they already have a child or kids near them, if you have children, your person will get along very well with your kid too. Your person has an strong temper, the good part of it is that they are very protective of what they love and don't mind getting into trouble if that means keeping their beloved ones safe. The not so good part is that they can be too impulsive and irrational when angry, their passionate spirit can take the best from them sometimes, they will be your total opposite so if you have a natural calmed and peaceful temper this pile is for you. Your person is someone brave, a natural extrovert with a lot of charisma, they can draw all the attention of a room to them just with an smile, they are also very sexy, physically they are extremely attractive, they could also be a Libra or Sagittarius sun sign. Your person hasn't been an angel in their past, even though they are a nice person with a good heart, it seems like they did ot take the best decitions in their past and now they are regreting some mistakes. They are really handsome and charming, I see they haven't faced rejection in their past and that has led them to be too confident, they are the kind of person who always gets what they want, do you know Dexter from the show One Day? your person reminds me of him in the good and the bad traits. Anyway, they recently had an experience that made them realize the path they were taking and they want a diferent direction, they don't feel fulfilled and knows that can get something better for themselves, they are also facing the consequences of their actions si they might need some extra time to get into your life.

Your connection:

(Cards: this could be the one, trust, children, worth waiting for/ talking, golden mirror, sword and rose, self indulgence, love call)

You'll share a very special bond, I see trust issues from both of you but at the moment you start something together those issues will fade, it's like your souls will recognize that you both are meant for eachother, feelings will bloom naturally. I see different scenarios for your pile so take what resonates with you, for the people who already know who this person is, the cards invite you to keep hopeful but patient, just trust the Universe and focus on your bussiness meanwhile your person puts their life in order and solve the issues they are currently dealing with, you deserve to enjoy their best version. For others of you who can't figure out yet who your person is, the cards have a similar meaning, to stay optimistic visualizing your ideal relationship, you'll have to wait a little more than the other piles because your person is dealing with issues they need to resolve before meeting you, again, you deserve to enjoy their best version, your vibration is very high so having your person right now in your life with their current circumstances could affect negatively your energy, so this wait is a divine protection for you. Things will start by flirting between both of you, maybe some casual dates at first but for what see in the cards, there's a lot of communication here and it makes sense because through communication trust gets reinforced and that's what you both need. You both will be very different but will have so much in common, your experiences in life or even your tastes or hobbies, your favorite artist or the kind of music you like, it will start by something simple but then you'll realize how similar you truly are, you will mirror eachother in every aspect, for some with an spiritual development I see this person is your twin flame. A nice thing a like about your person is that they will allow you to stay in your femenine energy, the card of self indulgence gives me the feeling that they'll provide for the things you like, just as an example, if you are into a saga of books but you don't have enough money to afford everyone of them so you go buy it one by one, your person will buy you all the saga so you can enjoy your hobbies. For some of you I even see that your person pays for your beauty treatments like getting your lashes or nails done. I see that they'll like to take a protective role with you, if you are easilly stressed, especially in regards of legal matters or burocracy, your person will take care of it so you don't have to worry, if you have any dream or goal you want to achieve your person will also provide you a safe space so you can develop it, especially for those of you who are into arts or something that involves creativity

Signals:

(Tea leafs: teapot, mule, wreath, shield, stork, wedge, heart)

Your signs to know when your person is about to enter your life will be a dissapointment with a friendship of your same sex, you might have an idea of who this person is because you have been seeing red flags from them in the past but you have turned a blind eye with them, especially in terms of stubborness and not wanting to change their habits. I'm getting that they are the kind to mourn and complain over things that they could easilly change, even you could have given them advices in the past but this person is unwilling to change for the better so you'll have to take them out of your life before your person comes. The tea leafs say that this won't be easy for you because you love and appreciate this person but by having them in your life you have to stay in a protective state, the shield warns you that you need to protect yourself from this person because they are consuming your energies. For your person, they'll be in a process of creating something new, I'm getting that it will be related to work, they'll be moving in silence because there's someone near them that don't want your person to be successful in this new project, anyway the project will thrive regardless of what other people try to mess with it. Your person will be just about to get their victory when they get in a deeper contact with you, they'll feel like things are getting better for them after everything they had to go through, you'll be like their ultimate victory. They'll know it's you because they'll feel safe by your side, having in mind that they are surrounded by snakes, getting in contact with you will feel for them like being in precence of angels.

Channeled messages: protect yourself from evil eye, black turmaline, long term relationship, karmic debts, late night conversations, a lot of sexual energy, love letters, release the old so the new can enter, the goddess Kali, law of attraction, subliminal audios, stay in your femenine energy, the bee and the flower, trust the process, 1111, 222, sagittarius, libra, scorpio

Pile 3:

Who is your destined person?

(Cards: queen of cups, king of pentacles, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands, fool, king of cups, 10 of pentacles/ ace of wands, 8 of pentacles rev, 5 of swords rev, judgement, emperor)

This person is your soulmate/twin flame, they are your divine counterpart so you will notice it from the very first moment you meet them. Getting into who your person is, they come from a wealthy background, their family seem to be very rich to say the least, they have been a pampered child all their life, in fact, if they work is because they want to not because they need to. Your person has been raised by parents that are soulmates so they know what true love is and knows that they want that type of connection for them too, they are a romantic and are not afraid to express it, they are also very well mannered so expect them to be chilvalrous with you, they are a true gentleman. They are so open to love that is overwhelming, they fantazise an daydream a lot about you, how you look, your way to walk and your smell, they have you so much in their head but they feel frustration not knowing who you are and when you will appear, they look for you everywhere they go and in every person they meet, yu cold even feel their energy calling you, if you have romantic dreams with someone but you can see their face clearly it is your person calling you in, you can intuitively feel them, I'm also getting that if you are able to see the face of someone familiar to you in dreams like a famous person just check that person you dream about because they might reselble the characteristics of your person. They have a melancholic soul, like a poet from another century, they are very deep and emotional, they have so much love inside they want to offer but they feel frustrated because they don't find the right person to share it with, they don't want only to share love they want someone to share all their life with, they feel like they already have it all to live a happy life but there's this missing peace of wanting to share all their abundance with someone else. There's this phrase of the movie 'into the wild' (my favourite movie ever <3) that says 'happiness is only real when it's shared', I feel that your person resonates a lot with this phrase, they have people they love around but they crave a romantic connection to create a family with, btw, they are really into marriage and family, they also like children and animals and they love your person too. Your person has a sensitive heart and the pain of their solitude has led them to get involved with people with superficial intentions or toxic behaviors, mostly because of your person's money, they had a relationship in the past that left them feeling empty and that's why now they are giving themselves time to be alone and with their family, I see they have siblings that are playing a major role into your person's emotional healing. Idk if you'll know about this book, it's called fallen hearts by V.C Andrews, it is part of the Casteel saga but the character that reminds me of your person appears on the second book, his name is Troy Tatterton, I suggest you to read it or let me know if you already know them :). I also see that your person has traveled a lot, for some of you, you could even live at distanced places where you'd had to travel to see eachother, it may be in one of your person's journeys where they finally meet you.

The connection:

(Cards: true love, getting to know eachother, playfulness, wedding/ casette, hammer, camera, separation, twin flames)

Oh goddess, this is so beautiful it makes me want to cry! If it was up to your person they would marry you as soon as they meet you, after all their painful journey, when you appear in their life they'll feel like the skies will open up only for them, they'll know it's you and will court you from the very first moment, they will be flirty but charming at the same time, I see you'll feel the same too. Even though that feelings will be intense at first, you both will make the effort to get to know eachother on deeper levels to check your chemistry and compatibility, everything will feel light and easy, you'll get along super well, they'll make you feel like you are in a safe place, if you are naturally introverted they'll make you feel protected and, in case you are an hyper independent person, you'll feel like you can finally relax and release some of the weight over your shoulders. At some point you'll have distance between you two but it won't separate you, I see you will make the best of every moment you spend together and, after a little time your person will offer you a seious commitment so you can start your life together as a couple, it might also be a soon engagement. I see that you'll be watching the pictures and videos you make together, especially if decide to travel, I see a fancy cabin near a forest where you are staying together to spend some alone time with nobody else there to bother you. The time you spend separated will play a major role for you two to decide that you want to be together forever, I see that your person will have a harder time being away from you, that's why they won't hesitate at the moment of offering you commitment, probably they give you a promise ring or tell you to get married, it will happen sooner than usual but both of you will feel certain about this relationship and what you want from it, you'll fit like puzle pieces and you'll both will understand why things didn't work with anybody else in the past.

Signals:

(Tea leafs: gong, key, shark, caterpillar, dagger, camel, unicorn, carriage)

For you, you'll be receiving good news about something you have done, it will be something exciting for you, a successful outcome for something you put a lot of effort in, you could even celebrate it with your close ones because this will make you very happy. There's a little warning for you about being responsible with your money but also I see you could loose something important like a jewel or something with big material value like a phone or something that sort, so if you suddently loose soemthing important take it as a sign that your person is about to enter your life. For your person I'd confirm what I said before about the trip, the carriage means a journey either be a mental or physical but I feel that it's a trip for vacation. This journey is because they have been through a period of worries and stress, they just have solved a problem before making this trip, this solution will involve some changes in their life that will align them with their highest good so, overcoming this obstacle will finally lead them to you, their most desired wish. They'll be taking a time to release all the tension they've been holding, it is surely oon holidays so check the calendar just in case, they'll be with more people in this journey, probably their siblings, your meeting will be something spontaneous, neither of you will be expetiing it

Channeled messages: Water sign, earth moon sign, family money, colors red and green, divine counterparts, white doves and sunflowers, many options in love, send you romantic phrases or pictures that reminds them of you, settle down, a midset change, aries season, 777, 1818

Pile 4:

Who is your destined person?:

(Cards: knight of wands, 10 of cups, moon, queen of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, knight of swords/ 7 of cups rev, 9 of swords, queen of pentacles, fool, empress)

Your person got the queen of pentacles repeated with two different tarot decks, this gives me the feeling that they feel plenty with the current direction of their life, with the 10 of cups I'd confirm that they feel happy and fulfilled and everything is working out for your person. Besides that luck is on their side naturally, your person has fought to be in the place they are right now, they are following their passion and vocation and being loyal to their heart has lead them to success and recognition, they are also very optimistic and knows how to see the good side of things at every situation. Your person reminds me of Eli from Boy swallows universe (please watch the show, it's awesome and you'll love Eli), your person is brave, independent and resourceful, even daring sometimes, they are loyal to their truth and their heart, in fact I see they can be a little obsessed with finding out the truth of things so they could even be into conspiracy theories or things that sort. Your person is a wanderer, a curious soul but with a grounded spirit, they can be wild sometimes but they know their own limits and knows when to stop, they are really down to earth and mature on the important matters but very lighthearted and spontaneus when the ocassion requires it. They have been through seriouus things in the past, they may have some unresolved heavy trauma they didn't gave themselves the chance to solve it so they might act reckless sometimes, but the good thing is that they have an strong moral compass and value system they keep loyal at every moment, betray their values would feel like betraying themselves and that's something they don't want to go through. Your person can be an unintentional heartbreaker, they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings but it's easy for people to catch feelings for your person, is something about their aura or their energy, they are so warm and gentle that everybody feels drawn to them and can't help but develop feelings for them, they are easy to be loved. Your person is really smart, they could be air dominant in their chart because they also seem like having a talent with words or being a great communicator, they are also very funny so expect to laugh a lot with them, they might be younger than you or it's simply that they have a youthful energy, whatever it is they have this childlike energy that makes them lovely. Your person has this golden retirever energy that everyone likes, they are also very friendly and seems to have it easy to create friendships with other people, their sense of humor is a plus on this aspect too, they are a sweetheart with a loving heart but they are also very hard working and commited to what they think is right, you'll feel super comfortable by their side, even though they could be younger they will give off very mature and reliable energy.

The connection:

(Cards: Keep an open mind, retreat, flirt, love yourself first, chemistry/ the sword and rose, girl talk, cupid's arrow, sunglasses, engagement ring)

Okay, at first they might not be your usual type or the kind of person you would be interested in, for some, your person could be younger than you and that could be a turn off for you. Your connection will bloom progressively by creating a friendship first, besides the fact that your person will be very into you from the very first moment, they'll prefer to respect your times and show you they are worthy of your love, they will feel like they are out of your league for some reason. You might run from them at a certain moment because you get confused with your emotions, especially for those of you reading this that are a water moon, you'll need some time to reflect on your emotions and realize that there's an inmense chemistry between you two, maybe this distance you take serves you as a reassurance of how drawn you feel to this person, they'll have a bad time with this retreat but for you will be very healing and enlightning. I see that there's a female or dominant femenine energy in your life you trust so much, that person is very reliable and wise, don't doubt to ask them for advice because she will bring you clarity about the situation, I'm glad to say that you have an amazing support system, count on that female friend when you need mental clarity because she will be very honest, for some of you this person could be a sister. During this separation you might think that your person is focused into their bussiness but they'll be into stalker mode (positively, of course), checking up on you, they might even ask someone close to you how you are doing just to know about you, they'll also be checking your social media to know about you, they won't do it in a creepy way, they'll feel the same pull to you but they have a harder time trying to contain their emotions, the good thing is that you seem to be very intuitive so you'll know when their energy is trying to approach you. They'll be so in love with you, it feels like they fell first but you'll fall harder after a while, you both are soulmates so, even though you'll try to fight your feelings, you can't help but fall for this person, and after you see how much they are willing to offer and their true esence you'll fall for them (I'm writting this at 15:15 on my clock in case it's a relevant number for you). They'll wear their heart on their sleeve, they'll be very protective of you and won't allow any disrispect to you, they can be cutthroating if anybody tries to mess with you, tey'll feel so honnoured by you focusing on them that they will try to make you the happiest person ever everyday of your life, they can't believe their luck by finding a person like you and receiving love from you, this connection will be an equal give and take, you both will do everything for the other to make them happy.

Signals:

(Tea leafs: dolphin, windchimes, fox, broken ring, bull, needle and thread, ant, table)

For you, you'll be in a very nice moment of your life when you are about to meet your person, you'll be receiving a big amount of money because of something you did in the past, like a material reward. This material abundance will give you a feeling of peace and relief, you have the chance to have some vacations or free time by yourself, I see you a little secretive about this, like you don't want anybody to ruin this good time, you may also be silent about the amount of money you receive. For your person, they'll be dettaching from someone or something, the broken ring is usually associated with romance but I feel it more related to bussiness so they might be changing their job for a healthiest enviroment (if you felt called to pile 1 I suggest you to check it), it seems like their current work field is forcing your person to sacrifice themselves and keeps them in a defensive position. They'll have to work hard but it will bring them stability and security.

Channeled messages: Acts of service, getting a pet together, a cat person, sleep problems, full moons affect their mood, white horses and moths, vivid dreams, sitcoms, a lot of laugh, mental fog, meditation, 1212, 444, taurus, gemini, aquarius

[1-ker0sene-1]

Your blog is like a buffet, thank you 🥺 I would like to maybe put in a wee little request of poly 141 with a reader that has arthritis with pain flare ups maybe, I'm kinda going through it rn with a bad flare

{Thank you for your lovely words and great request! I'm sorry about your flare, I hope it goes down soon!♥️ Take care of yourself pookie♥️ paraffin wax has helped some friends of mine :)}

John notices your flare first. The way you try to breathe through your pain and continue your tasks, eyes close and shudder for a second. His eyes soften and a frown etches on his face. Oh sweet thing, you've done enough. He just wants you to rest. He'll move closer to your side, a hand sliding warmly up your back before holding the nape of your neck. Authoritative, yet in a gentle manner.

"Darlin'?.. you doin' alright?"

He asks, he knows you're not. But whether you tell him you are or not gives him an inside to exactly how much pain you're in.

However no matter how you answer, he's sending you to go rest. Kissing your temple.

"Hm? How about you watch a movie with our boys? I'll take care of dinner.."

His arms wind around your waist, pulling your back into his chest. Kissing on your shoulder. He didn't want you to feel bad for needing a break. Besides the boys waiting on the couch would be more than willing to look after you.

"John you really don't have to worry about it-"

You can hear the creak in his knees as he bends to lift you up. An arm under your knees, and another behind your back. Kissing your cheek, his beard tickling your soft skin.

"We're home now. We can take care of you."

He mumbles. Glancing over as Kyle walks into the kitchen. Tilting his head at the scene.

"Something happen?"

He asks in a bit of alarm, raising his brows. John shakes his head coming over to stand in front of the younger man, holding you up between them. Mindlessly you reach up, skimming your fingers over Kyle's jaw. Who takes your hand gently and kisses your fingertips.

"I'm alright really-"

John sighs at your dismissal. Leaning to kiss Kyle's head just above the brow, explaining to him.

"Flare up.. darlin' will be up in no time. Just needs some rest and care is all."

Kyle hums in acknowledgement, taking you into his own arms. You groan at their dramatics, dolling you around like you can't move at all. But smile as Kyle peppers your cheek in kisses.

"Let's get you to the couch lovie.. I'm sure Johnny will be all too eager to give ya a massage while I get you an ice pack yeah?"

You sigh softly, leaning into his chest as he carries you into the living room. Despite your groaning earlier, it was nice to simply rest. Get the weight off your aching and stiff joints.

"Thank you sweetheart.."

You mumble into him, a smile spreading on his lips.

"Just loving you sweets, nothing any of us wouldn't wanna do."

Coming into the living room around to the couch, Simon sits up stiffly seeing you carried like that. Nearly throwing Johnny off on accident, earning a yelp from the scottsman. Seeing that look of pain threw the blonde man off.

"She alright?"

The question Simon asks makes Johnny blink and sit up as well. Kyle waves them off, slotting you carefully between the two men.

"Flare up."

Is the only words he needs to say. Before both Johnny and Simon envelop you in their arms.

"They're being dramatic- I'm not dying y'know-"

You giggle. Simon chuckles, an arm around Johnny's hips as you lay between them on his chest. Johnny laying almost on you, quite the effective soldier sandwich. Johnny kisses your collarbone. Leaning into the dramatics to cheer you up.

"Our wee lass. How are we ever gettin' by without you?"

He practically purrs. His hands warmly brush over you, serious for a couple seconds.

"Where does it hurt bonnie..?"

As you tell him, he caresses, massages, and feels over each area that you mention to him. Watching you with loving bright eyes. Occasionally leaning down to notch your lips together, swallowing up your groans of comfort. Simon licks his lips watching the both of you, gripping Johnny's mowhawk to pull him back a bit. Kissing him first, sloppy and rough.

You watch the two of them. Pressing a kiss to Johnny's throat from below him, your fingertips skim over Simons arm. When Si disconnects the kiss he leans down to kiss you next, gentle and soft. Moving slow and sweet with you. Now Johnny is watching with a lovestruck grin. Hands still kneading and massaging your aching joints.

Doesn't take long before Kyle walks back in with a couple of ice packs, kissing Simons cheek- which has the blonde pulling back. Just so Kyle can get the next kiss, cheekily pressing his tongue in to run over your mouth. You laugh and pull back when he's had his fun.

"Got your ice baby."

He hums, Simon takes the packs, resting them where Johnny is done massaging.

"Twenty minutes on and off!"

You can all hear John say sternly from the kitchen. Kyle smirks and nudges your shoulder.

"I'll go help the old man with dinner."

He says. You reach out before he can leave, bringing him into some drowning kisses from all three of you on the couch. Kyle finally slips away after a couple minutes of chasing eachothers mouths. Wiping his lips with a dazed smile as he heads back to the kitchen.

Johnny's cheek is on your chest now, cradling the back of his head close to you. Simon is kneading at your hips. Whispering into your hair.

".. We'll get you in a hot bath.. yeah doll? Warm you up.."

His Manchester accent purring in your ear.

"You won't have to move an inch. You take care of everything while we're deployed. Gotta do the same for our girl.."

[hellfiremunsonn]

I Don't Want To Be Mad At You. Eddie Munson x Reader.

I Don't Want To Be Mad At You.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

Summary: Your date night gets postponed once again.

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

Warnings: rockstareddie! I guess? ANGSTY ! fem reader, pinv sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up idiots), fingering, male and female orgasm, reader has tits (all consensual though reader hesitates at first) (IF THERES ANYTHING I MISSED LET ME KNOW)

AN: not proof read!!!

Word count: 3k

You know it's not his fault. It truly never is his fault, but it doesn't erase how shitty it makes you feel. Corroded coffins up and coming success has often put a damper on your romantic relationship with Eddie, and although he tries his best, things still fall through. 

Another phone call cut short when he's miles away, or a dinner interrupted or cancelled while the two of you are sat at the table, and even worse, sleeping alone when he's still in the same city but called back to the studio. 

So when Eddies phone buzzes not even ten minutes after the two of you have sat down at a table at a restaurant you already know what's going to happen. 

He looks at you with a sheepish smile, but you can still see the reluctance behind his eyes when he speaks. "I don't know what's going on, Gareth is freaking out over some label bullshit, contracts they didn't sign or something... But I gotta head over to the studio babe, I'm so sorry"

With a sigh you nod, picking up your napkin off your lap and place it on the table before gathering your things and slipping on your jacket. 

Eddie frowns, he hates how this has become a sort of 'normal' for the two of you. "I know baby I'm sorry, this isn't how either of us wanted tonight to go, but once it's all sorted, I'll make it up to you okay? Maybe we can go away for the weekend, just the two of us; we can get out of town, and just completely unplug" he plants a soft kiss to your forehead before helping zip up your coat. With reluctance he pulls away from you, giving you a quick kiss to your lips you barely even feel it. "I'll call you later alright? love you" he says before heading out of the restaurant in a rush, leaving you standing there alone. 

You can feel your nose fizz with unshed tears but hold them back while you watch him walk away. Taking a deep breath and heading out of the restaurant and back towards your 'shared' apartment which has started to feel a lot less shared over these past few months. You could easily call an uber, or the driver Eddie has been 'assigned' since the fame started, but instead you decided to walk back to your shared apartment. It was only a few blocks away and you hoped the fresh air would do you some good. 

It helps in the sense that you feel a little refreshed, but it also gave you too much time to think, so when you make it upstairs to your apartment you're just all that and more frustrated than you were when you were at the restaurant. 

Unlocking the front door you trudged your way inside, locking the door behind you. You kick off your shoes and drop your bag and coat on the floor by the door, too emotionally tired to care and head straight for your bedroom. 

Walking into the closet you pull out some comfier clothes, peeling off the cute dress you had put on for tonight, staring at the fabric in your hands for a moment before catching a glance at yourself in the mirror.

 In a matching set of black lacy panties and a bra you frown, throwing the dress into the dirty laundry and pulling at the lingerie aggressively to get it off of your skin, ripping a few holes into the lace in the process. Annoyed at yourself when you feel the tears roll down your cheeks. 

you wipe them away quickly before rummaging through your drawers for a new pair of underwear before dressing yourself in pjs, washing your makeup off and then making your way into the living room, sinking down onto the couch and curling up onto a ball until you inevitably fall asleep. 

It's late whenever Eddie finally makes it home. Hours spent with the rest of the band trying to sort out some miscommunication so when he enters the apartment he's absolutely exhausted. He tries to keep his entrance quiet, but stumbles slightly on your jacket and bag that are on the floor in front of the door. He frowns and calls out "Babe? You here?" Obviously you have to be here, but it's unlike you to just leave your stuff at the door like that. 

Frowning again when you don't reply he moves further into the apartment, putting his stuff on the counter in the kitchen before heading towards the living room where he finds you asleep on the sofa looking small and sad. His heart aches at the sight at the sight of you. He gently sits down next to you, brushing some hair away from your face, thumb resting on your cheek. 

You stir slightly, blinking a few times when you feel the shift on the couch and Eddies gentle touch against your cheek. You give him a brief smile, before rolling over onto your other side, tucking yourself up against the back of the couch facing away from him now. 

"Baby come on... don't be like that" His voice is gentle but there's a hint of frustration in it. his hand reaches out to smooth up and down your back. "I know tonight didn't go as planned but... I'm here now aren't I?" he tries.

"M'just tired eds" you mumble sleepily. It's not entirely a lie, you are tired, tired from sleep, tired from fighting your own emotions, and tired of being mad at your boyfriend when you don't want to be.

Eddie sighs heavily, and runs his free head through his hair. "Well yeah, so am I. It's been a long fucking day" he pauses for a moment before speaking again. "Look I know you're upset about earlier, but ignoring me isn't going to solve anything..." He scoots closer to you on the couch, sitting near your feet he lifts them up so they're over his lap, pulling at your arm gently until your butt is between his legs and he can hold you against his chest. "C'mere. Let me hold you." His voice is softer now, almost pleading. He presses a light kiss to your temple. "Please, baby. I need you right now."

So you let him. You let him hold you, not really able to protest when he's able to manhandle you into his lap enough to cuddle him. But you let him, because despite the anger and the frustration you know this is hurting him to, and you know he needs to be held just as much as you do, even though you want so badly to push him away. You let out a sigh, playing with a loose thread hanging off of his shirt. 

Eddie wraps his arms around you tightly, savouring the scent of your skin, your shampoo, the way a bit of his cologne still clings to you. Burying his face into your neck, needing to be close, closer, closest. After a few moments he lifts his head to look down at you, pulling back to gently cup your face in his hands, tilting your face to look at him. His eyes search yours intently. 

"I love you so much baby, like more than anything, you know that right?" he whispers, thumb smoothing across your cheek. "I know this whole band thing has been a lot lately... and I haven't been handling it very well I'm sorry just..." he trails off, eyes closing tightly while his brows furrow, leaning forward until his forehead touches yours. "Just tell me what you need from me right now. Anything. I'll do it" his voice is quiet and pleading, and it almost makes everything hurt just a little bit more. 

"I don't want to be mad at you" you whisper slowly. Your voice is barely audible because you know if you speak any louder the words will get stuck in your throat, and the sobs that threaten to break through will stop them from ever coming out. "And I know it's not your f-fault"

He pulls you tighter against him, running his fingers soothingly through your hair. "Shh, hey, it's alright. I've got you." His voice is low and reassuring. He shifts so he can lay down on the couch, bringing you with him. He guides you to rest your head on his chest. One hand continues stroking your hair while the other rubs slow circles on your back. "I know, I know baby, none of this is fair to you" He murmurs against the top of your head. 

"But I'll make it better I promise, we'll figure something out, just tell me what you need from me" 

It makes you cling to him tighter now, built up emotions finally cracking through until you sob into him. Eddies arms tighten around you in response, shushing you quietly while rubbing a hand up and down your back. Between mumbled praise, he places kisses to your head, and anywhere else he can manage to reach. "You're okay baby I got you, I know it hurts, I'm so sorry, but we'll get through this together yeah? We always do"

You both hold each other for what feels like hours, while your sobs begin to subside and your breathing slows. When you finally lift your tear streaked face to look at him, he gently pushes your hair away from your face that's clung to your damp cheeks. "There's my girl" He says leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your lips. "Feel better?"

"Maybe" you nod and sniffle, sounding all stuffed up from the crying. You take one of his hands in yours, pressing a kiss to his palm before placing it against your cheek and holding it there. 

Eddie smiles sadly, holding your cheek with his hand. "Baby..." he cups your face fully now, leaning in to kiss your forehead, your eyelids, the tip of your nose, and then your mouth. Each kiss saying more than he could get his words to.

"I hate seeing you like this... I never wanted to cause you pain baby" His brows knit together, and you can see the way his jaw clenches in attempts to keep his own emotions at bay. His arms wrap around you again, crushing you tightly against his chest while he buries his face into your neck once more. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry" His words are muffled, but the emotion in them is clear as day. You can feel him breathe in deeply, trying to compose himself. 

"I know teddy" you whisper softly.

He nods against your neck. "I know you do, but I still hate myself for putting you through this shit" he pulls back just enough to meet your watery eyes, cupping your face again. "You deserve so much better than all this bullshit" he mumbles softly. His thumb traces the curve of your cheekbone, while his eyes roam over every detail of your face, as if he's trying to memorize it. "My sweet girl..." he whispers "What would I do without you huh?" He smiles then, only for a moment before he surges forward, pressing his lips into yours with desperate emotions. It's filled with apology and longing, with all the words left unspoken between the two of you.

You kiss him back just as desperately, clinging onto him like a lifeline while his hands grip at your hips possessively as he pulls you flush against him. A low groan escapes him as he slips his tongue into your mouth to deepen the kiss. 

He pulls away panting, resting his forehead against yours and looks at you with dark eyes that are filled with desire. "God I missed you so fucking much today" he rasps. "I wanna... wanna feel you" he says while one hand slides under your shirt, his hand covering the expanse of your lower back while the other gently tangles in your hair, angling your head as he claims your mouth in another deep kiss. 

Your brows furrow, and your lips part to speak, but you struggle to get the words out. Stuck between rationality and desire, you're unsure if engaging in something sexual right now is a good idea. "Baby I don't know if we should" You mumble out, just as breathless.

Eddie groans but it almost comes out as a whimper. His grip tightening on your hip. "Don't say no baby please" he breathes against your lips. "Please I need you" his other hand slips up your back, fingers digging into your skin possessively. Eddie has never been one to beg like this, and has never been one to try to convince you to do it when you've said no. But he needs that connection right now. When leans in to kiss you again, slower this time, but just as intense, you realize this is less about the actual act of sex, or cumming for him, and more about being close, as close as two humans can get. It's about being connected.

So you nod in understanding, the overwhelming desire to feel the same connection washing over you as well, letting out a small "O-okay" 

"Thank you" he pants against your lips. "thank you, thank you..." he repeats his thanks while his hands make quick work of stripping off your clothes, tossing them somewhere in the room without care. He takes a moment to appreciate your bare form, always in awe and mesmerized at the sight. He pulls you against him, groaning at the feeling of your skin against his. "Fuck you're s perfect" he groans between kisses. Trailing them down your neck and collarbone. 

Shifting he lays you down on your back on the couch, hovering over you and leans down kissing you deeply. His hands roaming everywhere they can reach along the curves and planes of your body he knows off by heart. 

He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your body, leaving a burning heat in their wake, as he leans forward to take one of your nipples into his mouth, suckling and nipping on it until he feels you arch up into him. "Love these tits" he mumbles around the sensitive nub before moving to give the other one the same attention. 

His hand slides down between your thighs, finding you already soaking, and he hums approvingly circling your clit gently "So wet for me already, baby- god you're such a good girl" using the same hand he slides it lower until he pushes it slowly into you, groaning at the feeling of you enveloping his finger. "Always so fucking tight" he groans, dropping his forehead against your chest as he begins to pump his finger slowly, curling it up just right to hit that sweet spot only he seems to be able to reach. 

You bite at your bottom lip to stifle the loud moan that wants to escape. Your brows furrow in both confusion and pleasure, knowing how badly Eddie needed this intimate moment, but weren't expecting the focus to be on you. 

Eddie slowly adds a second finger when he notices the twitch of your hips and the way your body writhes beneath him. Pumping them in and out of you steadily while he uses his other hand to rub soft and quick circles on your clit. "That's it baby" he nods. "be a good girl and cum for me" he leans down to capture your lips in a kiss once more, swallowing each whimper and moan he pulls from you, all while he continues to fuck you with his fingers. "Come on, I know your close, give it to me" he groans while quickening his pace, feeling the way your walls flutter around him while you let out a muffled "m'cumming!"

You let out a whine that turns into a needy moan as your back arches off the couch and your thighs clench around eddies hand that doesn't stop working you until you're trembling. "that's my good girl" he says slowing his movements, until slipping his fingers out of you and bringing them up to his lips to suck the juices off of them. 

Shifting so he can settle between your trembling thighs, the hard length of him nudges at your entrance. He leans down, bracing his weight on his forearms on either side of your head, caging you in as he gazes down at you with heavy lidded eyes. "Tell me you want this" he demands, his voice slightly more rough than before. "Tell me you need me" his voice trembles.

"Need it ed's, need you" you say cradling his face in your hands "always need you" you nod quickly.

He nods back, pressing himself into you slowly and groaning at the feeling of your slick cunt as it sucks him in. "F-fuck baby" he stills for a moment, basking in the euphoria of being connected with you like this. 

When he begins to move he starts a steady rhythm as he rocks into you, each snap of his hips driving him deeper and deeper, and fuels the fire in your stomach once more. "Missed this" he pants against your mouth "Missed you" he says while leaning down to press his lips to yours harshly. His hips increase in pace, and the lewd noises of skin slapping against skin echo throughout your apartment, which only spurs Eddie on more, quickening his pace as he chases his orgasm that's creeping up on him quickly. 

"Gonna cum soon" he warns, voice strained with the effort of holding back. "fuck baby you feel too good" He buries his face into the crook of your neck, breathing heavily as he empties himself inside you, groaning with each wave of pleasure as it runs through him. Your name falling from his lips like a prayer. 

When the aftershocks begin to fade he collapses on top of you, pressing kisses along your jawline, neck, cheeks, chest, anywhere while he murmurs incoherent praises and endearments. After a few moments he rolls onto his side, positioning himself beside you while his softening cock slips out of your slowly along with your mixed juices. 

He tucks a bit of hair behind your ear, studying your face, while looking uncharacteristically vulnerable, his usual confidence slipping away to reveal the lingering depths of swimming emotions he's been facing just as much as you. "I love you" he whispers.

"I love you" you whisper back. 

And for a long moment the two of you just hold each other like that. No speaking, no noises, just two people in love, holding each other and absorbing the raw emotion being shared between you both. You'll have a better conversation about everything in the morning, but for now, this is all the two of you need.