#maybe I'd feel different if I had the capacity to fall in love like a normal person.

[outeremissary]

It is kinda crazy though how scary relationships are. Not as like. A thing to be in, but as the competition at a certain age. Maybe it's just the environment I'm in irl all the time, but it's just so much like. When people's time becomes limited, it's going to be their partners and family every time. They don't want to live with other people anymore and you have to worry over housing. They don't have time for other things. The best way to connect would be a double date, but if you don't want to date...? It feels so isolating. And maybe it's just that I spend a lot of time with older people, but honestly somehow that makes it feel worse. Like sure, maybe there's a tiny bit of hope for you right now, but just wait a few more years and it'll all disappear, don't worry. Maybe it's too much to want to be so important to someone without being able to give them that. I don't know.

[deputyrook]

18+ - Spite/Rook/Lucanis - Playing Cards

This was supposed to be a sweet romantic conversation where they define the throuple and it turned out to be... extremely filthy smut. Uh, sorry. And/or enjoy.

A03 Link. Female Rook. 18+ Spite/Rook and Spite/Rook/Lucanis. DAV spoilers.

---

"It's all right if you fall asleep, you know. Spite and I can... play cards or something," Rook brushes her fingers through Lucanis' hair, combing through it gently. He sighs, a satisfied, happy noise, but the corner of his lip tugs down.

"I do not think he wants to play cards," He murmurs quietly. Rook's hand stills in place. Cracking an eye open, Lucanis peers up at Rook, shifting and pushing himself up on an elbow.

"We haven't really talked about him. Whether he's okay with..." She gestures between them. Rook had taken the outburst of Spite's wings wrapping around them as a sign that Spite was at least fine with what was happening, if not particularly enthusiastic. Maybe she'd been wrong?

"Okay is one way to put it," Lucanis mutters with an annoyed huff. He's not meeting Rook's eyes, instead tracing circles on her inner thigh in a way that makes heat shoot up her spine. He'd just finished fucking her into her chaise- making love to her, really. Her legs will still weak from it, and already she can feel herself starting to ache for more.

Dangerous.

"Lucanis?" She asks tentatively, by way of seeking further explanation.

"He wants you, Rook. Has wanted you. For as long as I have," Lucanis lays back down on her thighs, closing his eyes, "And you know, I'd wanted you for a long time."

"How long?" She asks, teasing, because she has to know.

"Since we got coffee in Treviso," He answers, "Maybe since you entered the Ossurary, to be honest. But Maker, you made this little noise of pleasure when you took your first drink of that cioccolata calda that went right to my cock," Lucanis groans, just from the memory, and presses his fingers against Rook's hips. "I hadn't felt anything like that since well before I was locked up. It tore right through me. I wanted you then," his voice goes soft, "But it didn't take long before I realized that I wanted more than that, too."

Okay, hoo, stop getting distracted, Rook. "And... Spite?"

"He didn't know what it meant, at first. But he caught on quick," he sighs, "I was thinking about you a lot. About all the things I wanted to do to you. With you. Some of it bled over to him, I think."

Rook smiles at him, a careful, soft look. "So... Spite wants me too. Sexually. How do you feel about that?"

Lucanis groans, a different kind of noise from the one that he'd made only a few moments before. "How do I feel? How do you feel?" He pauses for a long moment, and Rook can only assume Spite is saying something in his ear. "Yes, yes. I know you wouldn't hurt her." Another long pause, and Lucanis adds a stern, "Hey."

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't consider having another... person in the relationship," She admits. This is unsteady ground, and she wants to be careful not to offend either Lucanis or Spite. She wants both of them to be alright with their relationship, and doesn't want either of them to feel hurt or left out. "But he does share your body, with no indication that'll change any time soon. There's a good possibility you'll be together for the rest of your life, Lucanis. So in a way, he'll have to be a part of the relationship... in some capacity, anyway."

She takes a moment to think. How does she feel about Spite? About Spite, wanting her? Embarrassingly, she finds the thought leaves her warm. How different would be be from Lucanis? She swallows.

Lucanis sits up fully then, moving to take his place on the chaise beside Rook. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupping her face in his hands.

"When you were gone... Spite was devastated. I mean really torn up about it. I hadn't realized how much he liked you too- really liked you, until then," Lucanis seems to take a moment to collect his thoughts, "Ever since he pulled you into the fade to get you to deal with my- our issues, we've felt more like partners. If you're not averse- if the concept doesn't frighten you-"

"You have never frightened me," Rook says, looking him in his eyes, "Either of you."

Lucanis smiles then, relieved, and kisses her gently. When he pulls back, it's seems he's gathered the courage to finish his sentence.

"I don't mind sharing, if it's the three of us," He finishes, a little nervously, "I don't know exactly what it will mean..."

"But we can figure it out. Together." Rook smiles too then, taking his hands in hers and pressing another kiss against his mouth, slow and deep.

The kiss starts slow, but it doesn't stay that way. At first, the press of Lucanis' mouth against hers is languid, as though they have all the time in the world. And then, a shudder seems to run through Lucanis. And he is pushing forward, biting at Rook's lip in a way that makes her gasp in surprise.

Lucanis- no, Spite- seems to want to devour her. He hisses against her mouth, his kisses clumsy and demanding. Rook can barely breathe he's so insistent, licking into her mouth as his hands grab her hips and pull her body closer to him. Spite's eyes flash a brilliant violet, wings in a matching shade unfurling out from behind him.

"Wanted this," Spite groans against her mouth, biting at Rook's bottom lip in a way that makes her weak, "Wanted you."

"I wanted you too," She admits, and he moans, a broken noise of need.

"Smell so good. Like caramels and jasmine and Lucanis," He groans again, and the fact that Spite seems to not only be aroused by her, but by Lucanis as well, makes Rook's skin feel alight with heat.

"Are you going to take me, Spite?" She asks, her voice breathy with need as she wraps her arms around his neck, "Are you going to make me feel good? I want to make you feel good, too."

His lips press back to her skin, this time against the column of her neck. Where Lucanis had kissed with reverence, Spite bites and nips and sucks until Rook is twisting and moaning in his arms.

When Spite leans back slips a hand under the waistband of her panties, Rook realizes that she's still an absolute mess from her earlier round with Lucanis. Rook's cheeks burn as Spite drags two fingers along her slit, slicking them with both her and Lucanis' cum. When he pulls his hand back, he looks at his wet fingers with interest, his pupils blown wide and dark.

Grabbing his wrist, Rook raises the fingers to her mouth and drags her tongue along the digits, licking them clean. She pops his fingers into her mouth, sucking at them and moaning around his hand, keeping her eyes locked on Spite's the whole time. He shudders, taking his other hand and dragging it down the back of Rook's head in a strangely gentle gesture.

When Rook draws the fingers out of her mouth, Spite uses his free hand to yank her underwear down and pull it off of her. He is already so hard- despite her and Lucanis having finished not that long ago, Rook notes- and with a fluid motion, he presses his two fingers back to Rook's cunt. The fingers enter her easily, as wet as she is, and push Lucanis' cum deeper insider of her. With a surprisingly careful motion, he pumps his fingers into her, curling them inside as he'd watched Lucanis do earlier in the evening.

Rook whimpers, a high keening sound, and Spite tilts his head in interest at the noise. This time, when he withdraws his hand, he brings it to his own lips. Keeping eye contact as she had with him, he sticks his own fingers into his mouth, sighing in pleasure around them as he tastes both Lucanis and Rook together.

"More," He groans. Before Rook can even fully register what he's doing, Spite has laid on his stomach and settled himself between her legs, and is licking a long line down the length of her cunt. She nearly squeals, the sensation so hot and her body so oversensitive, and Spite huffs out a laugh in response against her skin.

"Going to want to taste you. Forever," He moans against her cunt, wrapping his arms around her legs to keep them splayed open for him. He buries his face between her thighs, mouthing against her cunt like he really is trying to devour her.

The sensation is almost too much. If not for Spite holding her legs in place to keep her from squirming, she'd be writhing against his mouth. Holding her as he is, his mouth is an onslaught against her, a torrent of pleasure she has no respite from, that has her quickly approaching orgasm.

"Spiteeee," Rook whines, "Fuck me, fuck me, please."

"No," Spite responds, grinning against her skin, "Later. Want this. Taste."

He returns to eating her out, his nose nudging against her clit back and forth, and Rook can't help it. She presses against his face desperately, and when she notices that Spite is grinding his pelvis against the chaise, too horny and turned on just from eating her cunt to stop himself from rutting against it-

She comes with a cry, throwing her head back as the orgasm rockets through her. It shivers through her body, leaving her feeling boneless and satisfied, and Spite watches her come undone with no small amount of pride.

"Now," He says, still grinning as he pulls back, his eyes hungry with need as they rake over her body. "Now?"

"Please," Rook repeats, opening her thighs to him, and beckoning him forward.

Spite's hands fly to his pants, but despite the lack of a belt, he seems to struggle with undoing the fly and button. For just a second, Spite's frustration gives way to amusement, as more assured hands deftly and confidently undo the pants.

"There you go," Lucanis groans, sliding his pants and underwear down his hips. His cock, already red and leaking and so hard, springs out. "You know, I really underestimated how hot it would be to watch him make you come. You are such a mess."

"Fuck, I know," Rook whimpers, reaching out, "Come on, please."

Lucanis chuckles, before violet once again overtakes the colour of his irises. Spite growls, crawling up over Rook, until his cock is flush against her cunt. Unable to stop himself, he slides it against her folds, teasing her by grinding his cock against her cunt without entering her.

"Oh, Maker-" Rook groans, rocking her hips up. His cock is slick with her now, and strands of hair wet with sweat from exertion fall onto his forehead. Finally then, he presses against he entrance, and pushes in, drawing out a long, broken cry from Rook.

"Yes," Spite groans out, "Yes, yes! So good."

Unlike Lucanis had, Spite doesn't wait until she's used to the stretch of his cock to start moving, or take things slow. But at this point, Rook doesn't need him to. What she wants is to be fucked within an inch of her life, and Spite seems to read her mind.

As soon as he's fully inside of her, he pulls out almost all of the way, and then snaps his hips, driving his cock back inside of her. He fucks her deep, his hands on her hips, keeping her in place.

The sounds coming out of Rook's mouth are entirely outside of her control. She doesn't even know entirely what she's saying at this point. She's keening, whimpering out the words, "Yes" and "Spite" and "Pleasepleaseplease." Everything she's worried about, everything that could happen the next day, seems a million miles away. Here, she's able to fall apart completely.

After one particularly loud moan, Spite pulls out, flips her onto her stomach far too easily, and enters her from behind.

Rook presses her face into her pillow, muffling a guttural sound pulled from her lips. From behind, she feels Spite grab a fistful of her hair, pulling her head up.

"No. Want to hear you," He grunts, rutting back into her. She gasps, her cunt clenching around his cock, so close to coming again as he fucks her into her chaise. She can tell he's close himself by the stutter of his hips, and the way that words begin to slip from his lips. Snaking a hand to her clit, she grinds forward against her fingers.

"Mine," He breathes, punctuating the word with a thrust. "Mine, mine. Ours."

And with that word- the feeling of her hair, wrenched in Spite's grip, his body leaning over hers, and his cock pressing so deep inside of her- Rook comes for a second time. Spite follows her, spilling into her with a surprised gasp and a long groan.

She collapses onto the chaise, face down, and Spite lays heavy across her back.

"You're heavy," She complains after a long moment. Spite makes a noncommittal noise, and doesn't move.

But then, with a sigh, Spite rolls off of her. It takes Rook a second to realize that Lucanis is back in control, as he reaches out to smooth down her hair where Spite had grabbed.

"That was good?" He asks, a bit tentative. Rook turns and looks at Lucanis, a complete, bleary eyed mess.

"Yeah. But if you ask for a turn now, my legs might give out completely," She answers with a lazy grin. Lucanis grins back at her, eyes shining with affection.

"Just a kiss, then?" He asks, and Maker, Rook could never deny him. Pushing herself up, she kisses him softly, and he sighs against her mouth, contented.

"You think he liked it?" Rook asks, and Lucanis rolls his eyes.

"If he hadn't fallen asleep immediately after finishing, I think he'd be back in between your thighs right now. I'm pretty sure that if you hadn't been more insistent he fuck you, he'd have stayed there until I couldn't speak the next morning." Lucanis rubs circles into Rook's back, and with a soft chuckle, they both settle back onto the chaise. Rook yawns, pressing her head against Lucanis' chest.

"I think I might sleep through the final fight tomorrow. This is too comfortable. Sorry, Minrathous," She mumbles, already feeling her eyelids droop.

Lucanis laughs, and she can feel the rumble of it as she lays on his chest.

"Tomorrow night, we will all be back here again. I will kill a God to ensure it. Multiple, if I must," He whispers, before they drift off to sleep.

[katyspersonal]

Another SOTE progress post!

1) Okay so like I said earlier in another post the highlight of today was finally defeating Rellana x) It felt REALLY rewarding to finally win after having to try so many things, Miyazaki forced me to use my brain AGAIN

2) After that I went to talk with the NPCs around the crosses by an advice by @val-of-the-north since not being able to summon Leda apparently meant that I've got the rune of Miquella broken. And hoooo boy.... At last I got to that part where Ansbach revealed the uncancelled Mohg's lore.

"Once, in an attempt to free Lord Mohg from his enchantment, I challenged Tender Miquella, only to have my own heart rather artfully stolen. I knew not how weak I was. I believed that with sufficient mastery, even and Empyrean would be within reach of my blade. I could not have been more mistaken... Miquella the Kind...is a monster. Pure and radiant, he wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men. There is nothing more terrifying."

"Righteous Tarnished. Miquella the Kind makes my blood run cold. I am loath to admit it, but even at this very instant I wish to run very far away indeed."

Soooo, yeah.. Apparently the bit I was spoiled is later game dialogue, this is a different one and I see it for the first time! Damn, trailer quote tho x)

3) What I did NOT know is that all these characters were under the spell of Bewitching Branch too ;-; Guess Leda is going after the hornsent guy's throat now gfhgjg Wild to see how everyone now does what they actually want, SPEAKING OF:

4) Thiollier now wants to go seek the part of Miquella he earlier had sealed away with the spell wall branded with his Haligtree symbol! There is now outright confirmation that Trina IS Miquella:

"Would Kindly Miquella chasten me? For falling for St. Trina, while knowing that she was the discarded half? The problem is... I simply cannot help it. I would sacrifice everything, just to gaze upon her, one last time."

Damn... either 1) Looks like both alters of Miquella have the capacity of compelling affection? Not just his Bewitching Branch, but whatever sleepy scent powers Trina is using or 2) Thiollier is Just Like This. Tea?

"I see you've thrown away... Something you should not have. Under any circumstances. How will you salvation offer... to those who cannot be saved? When you could not even save your other self? Kindly Miquella..."

5) The cross strangely has the message from Miquella, "I abandon here my love". All things considered it is not supposed to refer to his feelings, and recalling dialogue by Ansbach I'd say it maybe refers to his ability to wield love as weapon? Because look at how NOW Trina's power entices people into coma. Speaking OF:

6) Turned out my previous guess was wrong, and "bastardisation" of Trina's otherwise pacifist powers was not work of followers, but result of Miquella severing her from his being!

7) (or rather 6.1 lol) This is actually a good additional timeline clue! Earlier Freija mentioned that she received her Scarlet Rot wound in Caelid, so, as Malenia and Radanh fought, and Miquella was the one to heal it! So he was around that time yet. Then, change in Trina's powers happened as Miquella went to abandon his Empyrean entity, when Dolores has been using the powers as they were and she was in the Roundtable Hold! This I think will be useful for later to recover when could he have started with the plan! I already have a working suggestion for explaining events, just need more info!

8) Damn, not the area from the trailer ;-; Thiollier is so dead lol

By the way the boss in this area is RIDICULOUSLY difficult hghghg I gave up on him and kinda went to have adventures elsewhere just for the heck of it!

9) Discovered an actual dialogue by an old lady in Belurat, AND:

EMPYREAN?? I actually yelled at Val about it since I needed to know whether it is legit the same term or perhaps a loss in translation! And he researched Japanese script and confirmed that yes, indeed, this woman IS an Empyrean like GEQ, Marika, Ranni, Miquella and Malenia! @val-of-the-north be a dear and add the evidence you've found today in a reblog or another pose! Because HECK, WHAT????

10) So I went to look around in random places since that boss was too hard. Found a small piece of some ruins by Val's advice, using one of those blue Keyswords. Then I wanted to go down in a village down near Moorth Ruins but for the heck of it could not figure how to get down there. While waiting for Val's slow ass to instruct me, I started to run wherever, really. And ironically, found the exact cave leading me to the FULL version of those Ruins! Felt surprised to find the golden tree inside!

11) Went through second poisonous swamp in the game yet, truly Miyazaki xD

12) Stumbled into Kindred of Rot, but they are RED in color!!!

This was so bizarre?? Damn, still, what ARE they doing here? First turned out that Formless Mothers and rituals for her that Mohg is using originated in Shadow Realm, now this.. Makes me wonder whether all Outer Gods come from this place originally, so God of Rot too, so, Twinbird too?

13) Hey @heraldofcrow how did you lose your clothes?? Put them back on slut gdghvgbvbbh

14) I decided to explore later and instead went to bully Horned Knights and Ascetics for their sets and weapon in Belurat. Belurat has places very close to Site of Grace for both! Horned Knight farming went pretty fast and easy! Ascetic... not so much. :/ He did drop his weapon and arm piece, but past this point he's been only dropping leg piece over and over! Reminds me of that 'Seebass? No, it's at least C+!' meme vffhhhh I think I will return for his mask later :/

15) This type of posts becomes a bit too structured, I need to post more random items descs

16) However I got a note from Val that we surprisingly got lore on Fingercrawlers (lol at my recent theory post aging like milk xd) and @jarognieva said something about a couple of spots on the map looking like giant fingerprints + having many fingers within 👀 No idea what is going on yet, but I can see it now!

Okay that's it for now.. until the tomorrow's work shift ends xD

[emeraldspiral]

Been thinking about how they could adapt the Zimvoid arc into a film, because I think it works really well as a finale. I think Zib is a perfect villain to make Zim and Dib realize ugly truths about themselves and challenge them to be better. But there's no way they'd just do a straightforward adaptation. They'd have to make major changes to the story so it'd be something new and exciting and not spoiled right from the start, just like how they started ETF as an adaptation of the first comic and then veered off into something totally original.

I like the idea of playing it like the comic story is canon and the movie is actually a stealth sequel. Like, Zib used time travel to go back and do everything over and he remembers how everything went the first time and is making changes throughout the story to take it off the rails toward a different end goal. Maybe he was even the one who made Zim forget "Phase 2" and caused the events of ETF to happen.

I'd really like to see Zib introduced a lot earlier or at least for the story after the twist reveal to go on for a lot longer because I feel like in the comic everything happened pretty quickly and there was so much more that could've been done with Zib. Like, he doesn't really do much outside of exposition. Even at the end, all he does is sit on his throne holding Dib captive while the Zims battle his giant robot for like 2 pages before main Zim merges them all and Zib's plan falls apart. I'd really like to see a big horror movie chase sequence with Zib as the monster, relentlessly stalking Zim and Dib through multiple realities and tearing through every obstacle like cardboard, like Wanda in Multiverse of Madness. Would also really love to see Zim and Dib tag-team against Zib since the climax of the original comic has Dib doing nothing while everything Zim does to achieve victory happens off-screen and it feels like kind of a missed opportunity to not have them work as a team against a being that is a combination of the two of them.

There's also a lot of sequences in the comic that are just kinda skipped over that I'd really like to see in some capacity. Like, we don't see much of Zim's battles in the arena so we don't know how he managed to beat 166 opponents in a day while supposedly being the worst Zim. We also don't see the rebel Zims battle against the top 99 elite Zims or #2 fighting his way through the Massive to get an audience with the Tallest, so I feel like we missed out on some potential for really funny and exciting action sequences.

I like that Zim and Dib had parallel arcs of being confronted with the idea that there are better versions of themselves out there and maybe they're actually the worst, before ultimately coming out on top to prove they're actually the best, at least by the logic of "I'm only failing because I've had it harder than anyone else". So I'd like to take the natural next step and have them become self-aware about how much they validate each other.

Like, in the comic the alternate Zims openly admit that they're happy to see a Dib and express admiration for their own Dibs, which makes sense because they've had time apart to realize their true feelings. But we never see if this gives Dib pause and causes him to reflect on how his Zim might feel about him, so that's something that could be added onto the original arc. I also really like the idea that while main Zim was imprisoned with the other Zims they were talking the same way about their Dibs in front of him, and because he hasn't had that time apart to reflect and come to terms with his feelings he's uncomfortable with the thought that he might actually like Dib. Plus, I think adding a scene like that would give extra context to why Zim refuses to work with Dib when he breaks them all out. I also like the idea that in general, because they've had no one but themselves to talk to in the void, the alternate Zims have been able to work through stuff that main Zim hasn't. Like, they all know that their mission was fake, the Tallest never respected them, and they're a joke to pretty much everyone but Dib, but main Zim's still in denial about all of it.

Meanwhile, Dib wouldn't just take Zib's explanation for what he did at face value. He's convinced no Dib would be stupid enough to attach Zim's PAK to themselves and not expect to be corrupted, and he can't bring himself to believe it was just the lack of recognition that drove him to it. He'd demand to know the real reason so he can avoid making the same mistakes and eventually Zib would admit he did it because he missed his Zim.

"You never really know what someone means to you until they're gone. Until you destroy the only person who ever respected you, who understood you, for a world that doesn't even appreciate the sacrifice."

Zib attached Zim's PAK to himself because he wanted his Zim back, but the PAK had been damaged and all that was left of his personality were his final thoughts and feelings. Fear, anger, regret, sadness, resentment, and shame. The Zim part of Zib's mind is just a malevolent ghost in the back of his head, and the Zimvoid is nothing more than a hell of his own creation. The Zim part drives Dib to commit atrocities to get back at him for killing him and the Dib part torments the alternate Zims and plots to destroy all the Irkens to get back at the Zim part. Both sides want to punish each other and both sides allow it because they feel like they deserve it for being failures.

Learning all this is hard for Dib to swallow because it means there's seemingly no good outcome for earth no matter what he does. Either Zim wins and earth is destroyed or he wins and destroys earth himself because his life is empty without Zim.

What makes all the difference to the story's outcome though is that because ETF happened Zim and Dib are in different headspaces than in the original story. Dib has already realized that proving Zim is an alien was just a means to an end to get what he really wanted, which it turned out he already had, and now that he knows it he can see that it's exactly the same for Zim with his mission. Meanwhile, Zim's walls of self-deception have already started crumbling since he realized he "lost" the Tallests' respect, which makes him desperate to reinforce them even as they grow more fragile.

So maybe instead of trying to get rid of all the other Zims to prove he's the greatest of them all, he'd try to hijack Zib's plan and turn it into a plot to conquer all earths in every reality to really show the Tallest he isn't a joke. But Dib would realize that there's an alternative to the no-win scenario he thought they were in; making peace. And he does it by echoing his father's words to Zim, "You're always trying to prove to your leaders that you're amazing. But you never needed to prove that to me, Zim. I've always thought you were amazing."

And Zim realizes that as often as he's said it himself, no one's ever called him "amazing" before, and Dib shows Zim how much he matters to him by risking it all just to save him from his own reckless stupidity.

And then I like the idea that it's kinda like a Sylki situation where even with all the universe's infinite possibilities they're still supposed to be enemies in every reality so them becoming friends kinda breaks reality and gives them the power to resolve everything and get back to their home universe when it seemed like they were trapped with no hope of escape.

And then that would be like the ultimate perfect ending for the series. Zim gives up his mission and Dib gives up trying to expose him because they both realize they don't care about winning anybody else over as long as they have each other.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hey, how are you doing? How was coming back to work?

If I can be curious, let me ask you this super hard (or maybe simple, it depends), question: who's your favorite character and why? Also, which one do you find the most easy to understand/write?

Have a nice day my friend, cheers 😊

@dolceaspidenera hi! I'm so happy to hear from you! ^.^

And ooh, those are good questions. I won't answer them completely, but I will give you honest answers ^.^ I apologize in advance for what turned into a character analysis mini-essay XD

I do have a favorite character of the M6, but I prefer not to write like it on this blog. I think it's awesome when fan creators focus on their favorite characters - it means that everything they make is done out of love! - and it's almost something you'd expect in a dating sim fandom when you have to choose one specific character to experience most of the story with. I initially chose not to do that just because I genuinely enjoy writing for connections with all of the M6, even if there's very few that I would want a specifically romantic connection with. Every single one of them are characters that I'd be happy to get to know, as a lover, or an honorary sibling, or a close friend.

The longer I write like that, the happier I am that I do. It means I've explored aspects of the world of the Arcana that I wouldn't have initially been invested in, but that have contributed so much to the story! It also means that I get to chat with people who have so many different perspectives on the game because of their own preferences, and I've learned a lot from them!

As to who is more or less easy to write - that changes based on the prompt. For example, prompts that reference pre-prologue Vesuvia are a lot harder to write with Portia, simply because she didn't arrive there until after Lucio's "death" and because the game doesn't really delve into the life she's had there since. And the hardest prompts for me to write in general are for MC with specific familiars, only because those are characters I haven't read about XD

There are also themes I wish I could explore more, sometimes, for all the M6, but doing so would require so much speculation that it would be hard to keep the headcanons feeling "canon." Julian's life before Vesuvia, for example - he's been knocking all around the world since his teens, and of the two or so decades that that comprises, he's only spent a few years of that in Vesuvia. He glamorizes his adventures when he talks about them, but nobody in their late teens acts as a medic on a battlefield for their apprenticeship without taking away some kind of baggage. When does he break down without dramatics or smokescreens? When does he learn to talk about a painful past without trying to redirect his hurt into drama? When does he learn the healthy kind of selfishness that lets him be completely honest?

Asra's so emotionally private it's hard to get a read on them sometimes. We know they're deeply in love with MC and that that's been a shaping influence on them for the last nine years - but what else? There's so much about him that aches to be known, which he frequently tells MC in his route, but he still treats his relationship with them like it's fragile and new. What happens when things are more settled and they know MC isn't at constant risk of falling apart? Did they ever feel betrayed by MC for not leaving Vesuvia with them? Did they ever feel resentful of MC for causing that much relational pain, or at the very least, for holding them in a full-time caregiving role for three years? When does he learn to depend on them to the point of exposing them to his own ugly thoughts and feelings?

Nadia, for all of her capacity, is still very emotionally young. She's just beginning to process her feelings regarding her own family, which stem from her childhood and were never addressed directly until they were invited to the Masquerade. She has a deep-seated lack of faith in her own strengths, which MC has had the chance to help her overcome, but that attitude has been affecting her perception of other people's opinions of her for most of her life. At what point does she learn how to interpret someone's concern for her as something other than belittlement? At what point does she learn how to recognize and apologize for her own mistakes in a relationship without experiencing it as self-rejection? At what point does she learn to recognize someone else's strength without comparing it to her own and feeling challenged if she doesn't measure up?

Muriel's especially hard to predict physically. He has a whole host of reasons to feel the way he does about his body in relation to himself and others. It could be easy to say that, as he heals in his relationship with MC, he learns to enjoy and seek out physical pleasure as he overcomes trauma (in multiple ways, like food, and comfort, and intimacy). But when it does come to physical intimacy, Muriel is so easily read as demi/asexual that his interest in that aspect of a relationship doesn't really act as a good benchmark for healing. Maybe his aversion to touch is only trauma-related, and underneath that gruffness is a pent-up, touch-starved lover. Maybe he stays consistently disinterested in that kind of physical pleasure, simply because that's the way he is - and there is nothing wrong with that. But we don't know how that progresses.

So much of Portia's life is missing. We don't know much of what her life was like before she came to Vesuvia after Lucio's "death", and we honestly don't know much of what it was like after. We know that she's friends with all the palace employees and that she has a close connection with Nadia, and that's it. It's hard to know how she fits into a post-canon community because she remains so detached from the other M5 throughout her story. Most of what we know of her life with MC afterwards is that she spends a lot of it on a ship. She's the kind of person who thrives in building and maintaining community, and yet we have so few clues about what that looks like. Does she become like family with the sailors, assuming that the ship keeps the same crew? Does her new status give her a peer-based relationship with Nadia? Does she try to keep Julian in her life, or do they drift apart again? Does she eventually create a new home base in a different country?

And, well, I've already a written a whole character analysis of Lucio. We know that he's determined to become an honest man, but we don't know how that plays out. Does he get tired? Does he find a stopping point at "morally gray"? Does he stick it out and become one of the most emotionally healthy characters? Does he ever settle down somewhere else and build a life there? Does he stay in touch, or reconnect with anyone from Vesuvia and build a new friendship with them?

Anyways, those are some of the rabbit trails I let my brain loose on sometimes, and those are a lot of the character aspects I have a harder time writing for because it's so open-ended. Maybe another creator will read this and have answers I don't yet XD

Thanks for your questions, friend, I hope you don't mind my mini-essay!

brainrot

[secretoreimo]

Hello I can't resist the obnoxious urge to blabber about my feelings so long analysis under the cut!? JHSDHJKJS

Okay, so. Indeed, while I understand that the game couldn't keep them blood-related for censorship reasons and such, I do think it killed the impact of them getting together a good bit.

My suspension of disbelief kind of tanked when Kirino asked Kyousuke to be her boyfriend right after he poured his heart out, expressing his insecurities that something might change between them. The game really does treat it like it's not only a non-issue but also a logical step to take, now, and I honestly have the capacity to ignore that for what I'm here for (them interacting, period), but it was definitely jarring.

I will say though, I did like that this began because they sat down to have a genuine talk about it. That felt much more organic and in-character than the nonsense we got in season 2, with the screaming in public and whatnot. And it did a lot more to stress the lengths they've changed since the beginning of the series, letting them sit down and confess to each other nervously. Well, I'd have liked if it were significantly more nervous, personally.

The thing about their relationship is it is inherently fucked up, like. It is at the center of all of their problems. Kirino has a crippling obsession with "imouto eroge" and this stemmed from the fact that, from a VERY young age, she believed herself to be a freak who had improper and disgusting feelings for her older brother, and eroge was something she latched onto as an escape from that reality. Sure, it did end up just being plain her favorite thing, but it came from that place.

I think if there's one thing I'd credit the anime for, it's that she didn't admit to her feelings ever, not until the very end when it was absolutely undeniable that they were reciprocated. She was repressed for so long I truly don't believe there'd be a reality where she'd say it first. Kyousuke has his own daddy issues, but there's something to be said regardless of a guy who is otherwise pretty normal, but finds himself falling in love with his little sister, however estranged. He's pretty fucked up, himself. Although I wish he hadn't screamed it in the center of the street at the top of his lungs in the most soulless loss for his character ever, I think the only way for them to actually move forward in a relationship would be for him to come to terms with it and say something first, however long a process that may or may not be.

I love the scenario the game poses where their relationship starts to take a "maybe I'll invite her out, just the two of us" turn, and she actually agrees instead of being flat out disgusted and disparaging. Sure, the beach was a little random and the game could have picked a better excuse than "idk why im inviting her to the beach it's almost like i got her route in a video game", but like. Idk, I like it when they interact, it feels natural for the most part. The game feels really good when you scoop out those little moments of "we're not siblings actually we're just a boy and a girl and it's natural".

Even just this scene post-confession, if I were to pretend that part had happened a different way, the banter over how they're gonna continue as a couple is pretty cute and in character.

I'm rambling about all of this not like to bitch I just have so many feelings and things I like and don't like and there are parts that I'd mix and match between anime canon and game canon and things... it's kind of fun. All in all I'd say this feels like an extremely well-written (and well-voiced) fanfiction. I'd accept these things in a fanfiction and move on, just as I'm gonna do for the game, but since it's official I get to be a freak on the internet and write paragraphs about it jhfhjsg

I am ultimately of the opinion that them being blood-related is the better story, it says more about their flaws and their personalities, and tbh I'm a sucker for characters who shouldn't be in love falling in love. Especially when they're as lovingly crafted as the characters in oreimo are. This series really is something special, I think, and it's kind of impossible to describe that to someone who hasn't seen it and just knows it for its reputation as "the anime where the brother and sister get married and kiss on the mouth at the end", which I guess is all anyone was gonna get from season 2

I rambled so long that I don't even have time to continue playing past their confession!! Now I have to go to sleep, but continue I shall soon, because... I love them...

[akiizayoi4869]

Hey cool soul, I have a question(s) :3

The definition of a child soldier:

"Any person below 18 years of age who is, or who has been, recruited or used by an armed force or armed group in any capacity"

I think this means:

-> The Kiyoshi warriors are child soldiers.

-> The Gaang are not child soldiers. They do take part in a military conflict as a somewhat organized group and go through basically the same horrors! But they did it out of their own free will, they weren't recruited or used by an armed force.

-> Azula is a child soldier. She is very different from the rest. She's under direct command from the military sovereign.

This begs a lot of (sad) questions. These I can think of on the spot:

1. Does she have a military title or rank? Is it just princess? Or field commander? General?

2. Did she get military decorations e.g. for her mastermind coup of Ba Sing Se?

3. What was the war like for her? A fourteen year old girl on military missions e.g. alone at see with dozens of grown male soldiers?

4. What was her military training? I feel like she didn't just train combat with Li and Lo. She's commanding ships and soldiers with such knowledge and confidence that it has to come from good experience. Same thing with her knowledge on history, military and strategy. Was it just the royal academy or did she have an extensive private education on top?

5. What does a post-war (out of the asylum) Azula look like in this regard? How does her upbringing as a child soldier affect her life, health, personality, habits, worldview etc? Well I already googled this one and it's very sad. The impact would be negative and very extensive (for all the children). PTSD, depression, isolation. Difficulty reintegrating into society (was she ever integrated as a princess?) and being excluded from family and community (she already is).

6. How is Azula treated by society after the war and the asylum? In the fire nation and the other nations? Will she get recognized? Will there be loyalists and sympathisants? Will she be discriminated against? For her mental state and / or for her fire nation soldier past?

So many questions, I know. You don't have to answer all / any of them but I did want to get this out there. Really, really love your blog!

First off, I am so sorry I took so long to answer this! I really wanted to give you a good response so I had to sit on this one for a while.

Aww, you think I'm cool? Thanks😁.

I agree with you about the child soldiers part. Honestly I never even really thought about it much when it comes to the Gaang, but yeah, when you actually look up the definition of the word, they don't fall into that category at all.

Seeing as we never heard anyone refer to Azula as anything other than "Princess Azula", I don't think she had a military title or rank. I mean, she's the princess so she automatically out ranks anyone in the army.

Maybe the armor that she wears in book 3 counts? As well as the new golden hair piece? That's all I can think of.

I'd imagine that none of the men on her royal barge would want to try anything with her, considering they all feared her😂. Knowing Azula, what she saw while she was in the Earth Kingdom probably didn't effect her much at all since she was so focused on completing her mission. Once the war ended though and she's finally able to process things though is a different story. In a way that sort of happened to her when she had the breakdown.

Going off of how we see her fight in the show, she most likely had a lot of teachers. And I don't doubt that she most likely trained even when her teachers weren't there. How else was she going to achieve perfection? (Side note: perfection sounds like a lovely idea, but in reality it's not worth chasing after and is utterly unattainable, believe me). I have no doubts that she studied her butt off too. That couldn't have been made more obvious when she answered Azulon's question perfectly. So I'd say that it was most likely a mix of the Fire Nation Royal Academy as well as private instruction. Her family is rich after all, it's not like they can't afford it.

Post war Azula is going to need a lot of therapy for obvious reasons. She would need to realize that the one person who she thought loved her raised her to be a weapon of war, and that the other adults in her life failed to stop this because they didn't realize it was happening. Understanding that imperialism is wrong and that the war was wrong would have to be another thing that post war Azula grapples with. You don't just wake up one day and decide to completely disregard what you've been told you're whole life. It takes a very long time to unlearn all of that. We're talking years of propaganda and indoctrination, that's not going to go away with a snap of a finger. She would definitely have PTSD (honestly all of them would) and since she doesn't really have a good and stable support system unlike everyone else, it would be even worse for her.

Hmmm. In the Fire Nation I can see it being something of a mixed reaction. Some may view Azula as a hero and prefer her as the Fire Lord rather than Zuko. Meanwhile others may see her as simply being crazy and unfit to rule because of her breakdown. She would most likely have some loyalists. After all, she nearly won the war for her country with the downfall of Ba Sing Se, and "killing" Aang, her nation and father's greatest threat. She would be seen as a hero because of that. And unlike her brother, she was never a traitor to her nation.

This was a really fun ask to think about. Thanks for asking me this. And I'm really glad that you love my blog, anon😁. Feel free to send me more asks!

[brucenorris007]

PLEASE tell me more about the AU you have in that snippet you wrote! I want to hear all about it!!

I'd love to tell you more about it!

... Provided there was more to tell.

Honestly, that snippet almost wrote itself yesterday. The only sources I can trace it back to are my headcanons about an immortal Knuckles and the sort of relationship he and Shadow could have if given the opportunity.

They're fundamentally very different characters, but the potential for mutual understanding between them, to say nothing of earnest and interesting interactions, is maddening in that it hasn't been explored in canon.

So yeah, all that and me being in a mood for Destined Child just kinda spawned that scene. There are a couple details I'd thought of that didn't make it into the snippet that I can share:

I pictured that with all the time Knuckles spent uncovering the secrets of Angel Island, learning its capacity for travel through space, and teaching himself the ins and outs of the Tornado 2 for sake of bringing it home, he's the de facto mechanic of this ragtag group of functionally immortal misfits. It's closer to patchwork than anything Tails or an actual engineer could do, but it's enough to keep the bots from falling apart. He likely grumbled and groused about it early on, but like with Tails' plane, he self-taught what he needed, because he's still just that kind of echidna more than a century after his friends passed.

And like I said, I think Shadow and Knuckles could have some great conversations if just given the chance; the freedom to write them a century or more removed from canon, where they've already achieved that mutual understanding and are–perhaps not the closest friends like Knuckles and Sonic or Rouge and Shadow, but at least comrades who understand and would fight on the other's behalf–their interactions just flowed naturally.

I also figured that Vector would've been the last of Knuckles' tribe of choice to pass away, being a crocodile and all. I guess that means he'd also probably be the one hanging on to Gemerl by that point, assuming Cream didn't have a family of her own.

And now I've wandered into the stream-of-consciousness thing I sometimes do once I start typing; that is, details that are occurring to me right just now mixed in with half-thoughts I had before I started typing.

Might as well put in a cut at this point.

Anyway, the other point that I left out of the snippet is Silver, both through lack of mentioning him and by being vague about how many decades ahead of the canon timeline the scene is. I'd toyed with having Shadow or Knuckles bring him up, something something timelines so shouldn't interact with him but also maybe leave a clue that the ARK may be capable of contacting them off planet? Scrapped the idea for being too complicated for not being the focus of the scene.

I actually hadn't considered a particular reason for them to leave the planet. I think I felt that their grief–alongside Eggman being gone–plus the fact that Knuckles discovered they could without using the ARK or building their own ship was reason enough. Omega's primary objective had been removed, Shadow would probably feel relatively confident that Mobius wouldn't urgently need his protection anytime soon, a liberated Metal has no reason not to follow Shadow, Gemerl likewise had been freed from his self-assigned guard duty, and nothing in Knuckles' job description specified the Master Emerald had to stay on Mobius.

The fifty tons of ordinance line re: Omega was just... aside from Rouge, I wasn't sure what else they'd consider too important to leave without. OH. Circling back a bit, I had thought that perhaps Knuckles got a little less stringent with Eggman's leftover scrap on his island, (I'm thinking... maybe a fortress or two and other leftovers?) so long as it's not everywhere. Probably shoved it in one place rather than going through the trouble of tossing it all off the island. Extra pieces for damaged bots in a pinch and if Shadow, for whatever reason, misses industrial environments he can camp out for a few hours.

I figured as I posted the snippet that Gemerl's addition to the island, what he'd bring, would probably just be a designated plot to garden and attend to some plant life, reminiscent of Vanilla's.

I figure just about anything Metal needs it has in its supercomputer dome.

I didn't think of them having a specific mission in mind when they took off; perhaps scouring beyond the stars based on some clues about how Knuckles' tribe and species disappeared? That thought's also interesting because I could feasibly tie that into other thoughts I have about my Only Sonic Remembers AU, which would make this... er, Immortal Crew a spinoff I suppose.

That covers all I've got on it, really.

[gaybd1]

Your Divorced Zukka playlist is so inspired! I can absolutely see the story it builds. What are some of your favorite lyrics that drive the narrative?

Thanks so much! This is probably way more than you asked for but I'm just going to go through all the songs right now hehe

So they get together after the war and they fall fast and hard and it's so good but also they're super codependent. Maybe it is a little toxic, because they're young and stupid and busy

Had another talk about where it's going wrong But we're still young We don't know where we're going But we know where we belong

When I run out of road You bring me home

All you can say All you can feel Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss

And it just doesn't work. They end up hurting each other a lot. It falls apart and they agree to end this thing to save each other from more pain

I'm not the only one who's hurting here I don't know what the hell is left to do

But I could never rescue you No matter how I tried All I could do was love you hard And let you go No matter how I tried All I could do was love you

There's the initial pain and heartbreak and anger of a fresh breakup

Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers

My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge And I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough

And I know in my heart, hurt people, hurt people And we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal

Coming around to forgiveness and acceptance and reminiscing... And maybe hope that things might even work out in the future?

The last time I felt your weight on my chest, you said "We didn't get it right, but love, we did our best" And we will again

Shadows of us are still dancin' In every room, in every hall

And that slowly turns into this decades-long era of pining longing and being like "I still love you and think about you and hope you think about me but I could never be selfish enough to try to get back with you because it's better for you this way" but also I mean yeah those feelings are still so mixed.

They see each other every now and then in a professional capacity and it hurts so much and it feels so weird but they just gotta Be Cool

Yeah, you think you got away But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze My footsteps on the ground You see my face in every place

I saw you at a party, said hello like an old colleague

I still got it bad 'Cause you've got what you had And I still want it

Do you think I'd give up? That this might've shook the love from me

Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm since I was born How can I fear any hurricane?

(and I swear to god every single lyric in Francesca is equally as amazing)

Maybe they hook up a couple of times but that doesn't change anything, they still know being together would be a terrible idea

And I know we're done, and I know we're through But God when I look at you My brain goes, "Ah"

Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? "I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said

That was NOT a good idea, and the longing and pining builds... And OH SHIT maybe they both feel the same way about each other? And maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all to be together? They've been so miserable for so long... Maybe they're starting to think about things they wish they could say to each other... BUT WILL THEY??

You know the distance never made a difference to me...

Do you know, I could break beneath the weight Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you

It ain't the being alone It ain't the empty home, baby You know I'm good on my own You know, it's more the being unknown And there are some people, love, who are better unknown

Do I wanna know? If this feeling goes both ways?

FINALLY they confess and it's like the floodgates are open and yes they are old and they've missed so much time together but they never stopped loving each other and now they're READY to love each other and wow suddenly they feel like teenagers again...

But after this I'm never gonna be the same And I am never going back again

Like I lived my whole life Before the first light

Darling I Would Do It Again : A Divorced Zukka Experience

[jinxie-117]

11, 20, 21, 25 and 27 for Micolash!

I wrote this instead of studying for my in-class essay that is literally tomorrow. I'm a little incoherent I think cos I'm stressed but hopefully I'm getting my point across!!

11. How did you ��fall in love” with this character?

He is just. So fascinating. I loved his dialogue, I loved his ceaseless yapping, and hot take but I actually really liked the way his boss fight was designed. I also thought he had a sexy voice LMAO

20. Do you feel affectionate towards this character?

Very much so. He's just a little guy. A little sweetheart. I'd pick him up and give him a smooch. He needs a cuddle, he needs a warm bed, and he needs a good meal that won't trigger his horrendous food texture issues.

21. Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

Definitely on the more platonic side. Would I be friends with him irl? I can't lie he'd stress me out. But thinking about him in my head, I would totally be friends with him. I can't lie and say that I don't have the tiniest (world's most massive, abhorrent, passionate) crush on him, cos I definitely do. Like, he’s ugly but I'd kiss him if I was drunk enough.

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not?

Angst. To be fair I only write/read angst because I guess I like to suffer or something. I usually read stuff about him and Laurence because that's a relationship that has like an endless number of layers in both a platonic and romantic capacity and I just think its neat yk? But yeah basically everything I read about him is just about him losing it, coming to terms with his insanity, feeling bad about all the people he's lost. He's a sad little guy at heart I know it.

27. Do you like to ship this character with other characters or do you prefer not to?

I am the world's worst Micolaurence shipper. When I say that these two bring me the most unbearable amounts of rage and happiness and anguish all at the same time I am NOT lying. Something about how toxic and codependent they are while still managing to be so sweet with each other just gets me in the heart. They are so different and they are so similar. They understand each other so completely and they both love each other so much but their pride always gets in the way of them loving each other. Oh my god I love Micolaurence so much these two have ended me in 45 different ways and I will never forget them for as long as I live. Never in my life have I shipped two characters as passionately as I have shipped Micolash and Laurence.

Micoedgar gets a nice little mention at the end. I don't think that they were as romantically involved as Micolash and Laurence, but there was definitely some affection there.

Anyway yeah that's everything. I adore Micolash so much he has my heart

[bipolaritea]

Mettle: an ingrained capacity for meeting strain or difficulty with fortitude and resilience (Merriam-Webster dictionary)

You can't control your circumstances, you can only control your reaction to them. I never expected to find myself being the primary support for three people with chronic mental health conditions. Had I known, I would have spent more time preparing. Maybe I would have saved a bit more money and enjoyed my kids' childhoods a bit more instead of looking forward to their adulthood. I definitely should have built in better self-care habits ahead of time instead of faking my way through two decades on coffee and takeout whenever I felt exhausted.

I can't do that anymore. I can do many things, but I can no longer pull patience and endurance out of thin air. Sheer force of will can get you far, but once you've drained your tanks, they're empty.

Almost two years after my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar 1, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I'd barely caught my breath from helping my child only to be thrust into caring for my parents. They lived two hours away and I became their person for navigating the medical system through terminal illness. Mom died nine months later and then Dad, four months after that. Then I had to settle their estates.

By the time I was done, I barely recognized myself in the mirror. My face and body were bloated from sleepless nights, fast food, and hospital coffee. My skin was sallow and grey, my hair was falling out, and I couldn't climb a flight of stairs without getting winded.

It was bad and I was secretly worried I was going to have a stroke. I work in health care and one of the doctors I worked with pulled me aside and said they were worried about me. I was too.

Diet changes didn't really do much, and I tried to make a difference in things by using the old treadmill in my basement. No luck, it was like I was too far gone.

So I did the thing I most hated. I joined the gym.

That was six years ago. I'm still going. I still hate it. But I love it too.

Now, hear me out, I'm not going to tell you I dropped 100 pounds and wear a size six. I didn't. I was plus-sized going in, and I'm still plus-sized. I do eat better, but my portion control is the shits especially in times like these when I am stressed from being pulled in 100 directions. I'm definitely not saying I'm perfect or there isn't room to improve. I will always be a work in progress.

I have anxiety and depression. Not at all surprising considering the things I navigate with my family. It sucked having to accept my own referral for mental health, but among the easiest of the recommendations from the psychiatrist I met was getting regular exercise.

We already go twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. Typically, we get a good rhythm going, and then someone gets sick or something happens where we get sidelined for a week or two every few months. But here's the key: we go back and start over.

I hate it. I hate it every single time. But then I go, and the endorphins kick in, and I am always glad I did it. I have to force myself to go 97% of the time and then thank myself 100% after. I always leave feeling better about myself, and I always leave feeling better in general. I've noticed that for me, the good feeling from endorphins lasts about two to three days. So, the twice-a-week model is the minimum I need to feel as positive as I can in any circumstance.

So, of all the self-care things I do to keep myself going, this one is, by far, the most important. I'm only talking about endorphins, but we could also talk about energy levels and muscle strength. There is no way I could have, at my age, survived the multiple long days and nights caring for my family over the past 18 months without it.

I need as much mettle as I can muster to make it through. Ironically, one of the best things I can do for myself is lift a little metal.

[flawlesslogic5]

My time has come.

Ok, so there are of course a few angles we can take here. Obviously, Kermit as Elphaba and Piggy as Galinda is an option- you've got the colors perfectly right there (it's not easy being green, after all, and insert jokes about the Emerald City), as well as the personalities. The end of The Muppets film certainly has a moment between Kermit and Piggy that reads very much in the same way as the end of Wicked. Gelphie shippers rejoice, etc. etc. Easy, right? We'll call this Option One.

However. However. As in any good Muppets adaptation, Piggy must be totally and absolutely besotted by Kermit from first sight if not sooner. That more fits a Galinda and Fiyero dynamic, rather than the enemies-to-lovers we see in a Gelphie dynamic. Now, if Piggy were Galinda and Kermit were Fiyero, who would be Elphaba? Who would be considered a social outcast and, ahem, a weirdo?

Gonzo, of course. He's 'different' in both appearance and personality. You can't tell me he wouldn't be 1000% down for jumping out a window with nothing but a broomstick and sheer faith to break his fall. Heck, we had a whole exploration of his feelings of loneliness and otherness in Muppets From Space, the emotional journey fits him to a T. Gonzo and Piggy have also been shown to have clashing personalities in the original series and the original Muppet Babies, so the dynamic fits. We'll call this one Option Two.

Now for the side characters- Nessa is a difficult one to cast for either. I could see Rizzo in Option Two, his affection for Gonzo mingled with his frustration at his behaviors works. For Option One, maybe Fozzie? My first thought would be Robin, but he and Kermit look so much alike it doesn't fit with Elphaba's otherness. I could see Kermit and Fozzie developing a similar dynamic to Elphaba and Nessa, respectively, especially if you lean into Fozzie being silly and that being part of the concern for him being at school on his own. Or, to add to the comedy of the "Tragically beautiful" line, Camilla. Stay with me on this one, I have plans.

Madame Morrible I see as being Statler and Waldorf in either option, or maybe Sam Eagle. In Option One, since Kermit is cast as Elphaba, who else would Piggy-as-Galinda throw herself upon? Maybe Link Hogthrob. I'm not sold on it, but he fits the whole 'brainless' character trait, and Dancing Through Life fits him pretty well. However we have some problems. I just don't find Link Hogthrob being convincing in As Long As Your Mine, regardless of who he's cast against. He doesn't have the emotional capacity to develop an understanding of Elphaba. After Dancing Through Life, Fiyero's character arc outgrow's Link's capabilities.

Boq is an interesting one- in Option One, I would put Gonzo as Boq. He was already the Tin Man in the Muppets Wizard of Oz film, and in the first season of The Muppet Show (as well as certain versions of Muppets From Space and the entirety of the original Muppet Babies), Gonzo had a big crush on Miss Piggy. I could easily see Piggy setting him up on a date with someone else so she could focus on her own agenda. This is where Camilla as Nessa comes into play- fits the two like a glove. In Option Two, I'd probably cast Scooter as Boq, he fits the whole hapless lackey thing. We don't typically see Scooter and Rizzo interact, but hey, could be interesting. Love a good rare pair.

The Wizard stays human in every version. The only thing that doesn't quite make sense for me is how to marry the whole 'animals can't talk anymore' thing to the Muppets, where so many of them are animals. Maybe it's aimed towards the less humanoid Muppets? Professor Dillamond could be a goat still. Alternatively, especially in Option Two, they go after the more 'monstrous' Muppets- Sweetums, etc. This fits Gonzo as well, who doesn't really qualify as a monster but still relates to them. Chestery is Animal in every iteration, sorry I don't make the rules.

So, TLDR, Option One has Kermit as Elphaba, Piggy as Galinda, Link Hogthrob as Fiyero, Gonzo as Boq, Camilla (or possibly Fozzie) as Nessa, Statler and Waldorf or Sam Eagle as Madame Morrible, and Animal as Chestery. Option Two has Gonzo as Elphaba, Piggy as Galinda, Kermit as Fiyero, Scooter as Boq, Rizzo as Nessa, and the rest of the cast the same. Human Wizard, and possibly Dorothy.

What do we think lads? Personally I'm leaning towards Option Two.

[goldenmorningglory]

In regards to your ask about Mike saying ily - But we already know from that one Finn interview that he definitely says “I love you” to someone. So who else could it be besides El?

honestly when it comes to shows like stranger things, while interviews and all are interesting to watch, i take them with a grain of salt- yeah all of them. because stranger things as a show is very good at making you think it's painting a flower when actually it's painting a knife. sleight of hand is their bread and butter.

and there could be a number of people mike could say ily to. his sister who just got vecna'd for example. they never really talk much unless the world is ending and maybe mike realises that fact, realises just how close he got to losing his sister.

he could be saying it to el, only to tell that that it's different from how she loves him. a classic "it's not you it's me." and this is unrelated to whether he has feelings for will or not, because i feel mike and el need to break romantically. it helps neither of them. their dynamic would florish if they were friends rather than restricted by the trappings of romance.

now could he say ily to will? personally, I've watched too many fantastically queer shows to scramble for crumbs, but will has always been gay. it's not a question. S3 cemented the fact. so im sure that more than their blessed little heart to hearts they're gonna be having a bigger conversation- because mike never really did address why he acted the way he acted in california, why he felt as if he had lost will, when will was a phone call or letter away.

it could go any number of ways. the show being what it is, they'd never say something if they thought people would draw the obvious conclusion and that conclusion would be right. because most of the casual viewers are unfortunately people who are not looking for queer subtext and to them, they won't think beyond 'oh how sweet he finally confesses his undying love for el'.

but even they have realised that will is in love with mike or at least, has a crush. a rewatch would show you that mike has always treated will different. make will's character a girl and you'll get a classic bollywood movie where the girl is best friends with the guy and in love with him but refuses to tell him, only suffering when a new girl comes in a he falls for her. and everyone always roots for the best friend.

so you'll see, how just one change in gender changes the whole way non-queer people view a story. of course i don't need to elaborate on the whys and hows of that change in perspective.

mike's case feels like a classic 'came to realisations too fast and now he doesn't know how to handle them so he seeks the safety of familiarity rather than the risks of the unknown'. but I'm sure he'll realise just how much he was hurting himself and will by doing that. after all, why is it weird to tell you friend you love them if you're only friends? and why is it hard to tell your girlfriend you love her if you do and you know that not saying it was driving her and you apart? I'm sure mike didn't even need that fight to realise what el was asking from him right?

tldr; while mike maybe saying ily to el, I'd take that with a grain of salt. after all, mike is not a one dimensional character who only has the capacity to love el. the way el has been built through the love of more people than just mike.

[doomed-jester]

Alright so I just finished Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions (for like the 8th time, definition of a comfort game)

For anyone curious, it runs nearly flawlessly on the steam deck. I ran into two or three crashes and got nearly 100% completion which is pretty good for PS3 emulation imo. Some minor audio issues but only in the pre-rendered cutscenes, and could probably be fixed by tweaking the settings on the emulator a little but I never touched that. Anything actually running in the engine worked fine, no glitches or bugs I hadn't experienced playing it on actual hardware.

Anyway, I love love love this game. It was what introduced me to Spider-Man Noir and 2099 and I have very fond memories of reading and rereading the Wikipedia page, falling down a rabbit hole and learning all the stuff about the comics I (at the time) couldn't access. Playing the game again as an adult with a more developed, critical eye, I can see a lot of flaws with the game, but also really get to the meat of what made me love it so much.

Wayyy too much to say but I'll drop some thoughts under the cut

Noir's sections would have been better if there was more variety and different ways to deal with the situations (Spider-Man PS4 has very similar stealth mechanics but they're much better refined, usually give you the option to just go in guns blazing outside of specific challenges and story moments, and give you ways of distracting enemies so you have more control over the situation and room for strategy. That's what this game needed.)

2099 was probably my favorite, Miguel is probably my favorite Spider-Man outside of 616 Peter and maybe Noir depending on how he's written. It's interesting that they chose such a mature voice for Miguel but reused a lot of stuff from the Timestorm storyline, which implies a way younger version of 2099. This probably had the best bosses, Hobgoblin 2099, Scorpion 2099 and Doc Ock 2099. 2/3 are original characters created for this game specifically. I wouldn't mind seeing this version of Hobgoblin come back in some capacity, maybe in the comics. I do wish they brought in more 2099 classic stuff though.

Ultimate is probably the most satisfying in terms of moment to moment gameplay, and I love that the cell shaded art style makes it feel like a graphically enhanced version of Ultimate Spider-Man (PS2). Almost makes me wish that game got a remake, but this was a very satisfying alternative. A lot of continuity nods to the comics, it can seem a lot like Ultimate Peter and Amazing are so similar that they didn't need both, but I really think the worlds they exist in are different enough to be worthwhile.

Amazing is where the game falls flat for me, unfortunately. The art style isn't as fun or unique as the others, the choices of bosses aren't as interesting (aside from Sandman, that level is perfect). He's really the all-rounder, no real gimmick to make him stand out. I think this version could've benefitted from some retooling. Maybe if his combat had been based more on speed and chaining hits rather than just being Ultimate without the crowd control capabilities. I also think they could've gone with a better choice than Juggernaut, and I'd maybe shift the order so Sandman was the first boss and make Kraven a little more difficult. I think I'd swap Juggy for The Lizard and make the level focus on chasing him through the sewers while the tablet lets him turn other people into lizards. Something like that

Overall, I love this game. I think it's a big part of why Mysterio is one of my favorite villains, and it was a big contributor to my love of multiverse stories.

I'll play Edge of Time next when I get a minute and probably have a more detailed post about my thoughts on both games then.

[seijoh-apologist]

stupidly in like with you | miya atsumu

pairing: post-timeskip!miya atsumu x f!reader word count: 14.6k (OOPS LMFAO) genre: friends to lovers, fluff, hurt(?)/comfort, and like a few too many pages of fluffy smut -- third person pov for the most part. NSFW. synopsis: Atsumu and Y/N are good friends, maybe feelings are involved but Y/N isn’t his type. OR Y/N and Atsumu are most definitely in like with each other but for whatever reason aren’t dating.

A/N: hi so this is my first “published” hq fic but like here is this thought that I had and haven’t been able to get it out of my head. it’s mostly edited thanks to my irl friend but bare with my run on sentences and (slightly excessive) use of profanity. any feedback would be appreciated b/c I have more thoughts for other characters and I'd love to share haha. 

To say Y/N was annoyed was an understatement.

Aching feet begged for relief, the sweat-soaked shirt, though cute, had begun to cling to that one fold in her side that made her the slightest bit hyper aware of the “stress weight” she swears she's put on during the holiday season. And the music was absolute shit, shuffling between mash-ups of the Top 100 trending songs and some weird EDM-Indie music that she would pay good money to never hear again.

To put it plainly, she was not in the mood to be out of her home, much less celebrate. But she had agreed to come out, never being able to say no to Sakusa, who silently pleaded with his eyes to take on “babysitting” responsibilities of his teammates for tonight. He had paid for her dinner several times before tonight, claiming that she should save her money - “you should spend your money on getting a better mattress, so we don’t have to hear you complain about it anymore.” - the least she could do was give him a night to himself, away from the chaos that was the rest of the MSBY team.

Besides, it's not like she was asked to stalk them or anything - they were friends after all, so really it was just like she was tagging along for a night of club hopping, taking shots that she didn’t have to pay for, and simply people watching in between trips to the dancefloor. And normally, she’d be enjoying the night - it's just that of all nights to come out and celebrate, it had to be at the end of one of the most stress-inducing, aggravating weeks of her young adult life.

Checking that it was well after one in the morning, she sipped water from her straw, swivelling to face the crowd from her (stolen) seat at the bar, in hopes of catching the attention of someone in her party that could get the hint that they should probably get ready to go. What she did not expect to find, however, was Atsumu, flitting his eyes away from her figure as he leaned down to talk to a pair of girls. It could just be a friendly gesture, asking him if he was who they think he was and him responding but it sent a less than pleasant feeling in her stomach, so she swiveled back, reaching for her phone in the back pocket of her suddenly too tight pants.

“Fuck me,” she huffs out upon seeing that her phone battery has fallen to thirty percent, which would be just delightful when it would be time to call the ubers home. She could now rule out aimlessly scrolling through Twitter for the rest of the night while waiting for her friends.

“Uh.. maybe slip in a ‘please’ and I’m yours.”

Y/N’s eyes all but bugged out her head at the response that came from her left. The voice belongs to a guy, a very cute guy. The kind of cute guy that you see on Instagram explore page before it refreshes so the chances of seeing him again are nonexistent.She sputters out a delayed apology, double-time since she realized that she’s now taken a little too long to respond to him, to which he laughs and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it. I should be apologizing for interrupting you, it's just.... You looked a little lonely over here. Mind if I sit with you?”

“Seat’s all yours... but you’re on your own if those people from before come back to reclaim them.” She hums, sliding her phone back into her pocket and shifting her legs slightly in the direction of his seat.

“Scared of a little fight?” He hums, arching a brow before taking a swig of his beer. He has nice hands. Y/N muses to herself as she watches the stranger’s fingers flex slightly around the neck of his beer bottle. She’s always of the mind that a person’s hands say a lot about them.

“Mmm no… just too tired to defend myself, much less a random stranger.” He laughs at that, nodding his head before replying that “most pretty girls don’t openly say they can fight.”

“Oh you’re cheesy, aren’t you? Nobody straight up tells a girl they’re pretty for no real reason.”

“Actually,” Shifting his beer bottle onto the bar, he holds out his hand to her. “My name is not cheesy, it’s -”

“Y/N! There you are!”

The call of her name makes her jump slightly, before she feels the familiar warmth of a hand on her back. The same hand worms its way to her hip, fingers slipping into that soft fold just above her pants, the warmth of his next words being felt just above her ear.  “Where the hell’ve ya been? Was lookin’ all over the place for ya, Bo and Shoyo were worried ya left without us!”

“Been right here, idiot. We lost our original seats so I’d figure you’d come to the bar at some point and I could’ve waved you down.” She shifts slightly, turning her shoulder back towards the cute stranger with an apologetic look in her eye, to which he smiles and opens his mouth to respond until Atsumu cuts him off again, his hand gripping the back of her neck to make her give him her total attention.

“Right well I’m starving - let's get outta here. Kinda craving your infamous drunk noodles, or maybe a McDonald’s on the way home, yeah?”

Y/N nods slightly, turning back towards the stranger to see that he’s already slinking back into the crowd. Once she fully loses him, she shoves her elbow into the blonde’s side, telling him to “shut it” when he throws out a huff of pain.

“Thank you, ‘Tsumu… could’ve had a different ride home but nooooo.. Needed to come in here with all your glory talking about you being starving despite the fact that you can afford a personal chef.” She huffs out and slides off her stool, but he’s not listening. Instead he’s holding her by the shoulders and pushing her through the crowd, excusing the two of them as she continues to rant and rave at him. Once outside, the pair are joined with the rest of the party, who have called a few separate ubers home. “And to top it off, I know you’re not even listening right now - you never listen to me, Miya. I don’t know how your teammates put up with you… how do you put up with this shit, hmm?”

The group of teammates laugh softly and shake their heads, giving answers that “they get paid” to put up with him, and that Miya Atsumu is actually “a decent friend,” a fact that she knows is true but chooses to ignore when convenient for her. Atsumu just shakes his head with a roll of his eyes, pulling her into the direction of their uber for their journey back to his place. She greets the driver and settles into her seat, as Atsumu calls out behind him something or other to someone. The slam of the door and clicking of seatbelts is what fills the silence in the car, music softly playing from the rear speakers, as Atsumu leans his head back against the headrest.

“So I take it yer coming to stay with me for tonight?”

“Hmm.. don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” She teases to which Atsumu slightly pouts, reaching to knuckle at his eyes that suddenly feel a little too heavy. “You owe me the biggest breakfast fathomable tomorrow.”

“Why’s it that I owe you when I paid for your dinner before going out, paid for your drinks tonight, and am letting you sleep in my bed - which is infinitely better than your cheap ass - hey!” He begins his ranting, which would be cut off by a sturdy flick to the forehead and a slight “hush” before he feels her head rest up on his shoulder.

Y/N and Atsumu had been friends for a little while, when she chased him down the middle of the road, claiming to the public that he was a thief, just because he’d grabbed the wrong umbrella on the way out of the restaurant they were both eating in. He’d tried to apologize, but she traded umbrellas and walked back towards the direction of the restaurant. He had chalked it up to nothing really, just a slight mistake and minor inconvenience for the girl. At least until a certain teammate’s birthday dinner, where said stranger was- only this time sitting and chatting with Sakusa Kiyoomi as if they’d been best friends for forever (which in all fairness, Y/N and Kiyoomi had only been friends since college, where they were forced into a friendship by their roommates, who were hooking up with each other and forced the two on double dates). This second meeting was a sign to Atsumu, a sign that for whatever reason this girl was supposed to be in his life, in some capacity or another - but he did royally fuck it up a second time by trying to flirt with Y/N, who laughed and asked if his opening line was really the best he’d had, before hitting him with an opening line that still makes him flush when he thinks about it today.

The ride to Atsumu’s home isn’t long, but it's long enough for the tiredness to seep into Y/N’s bones, who barely misses the quiet way that Atsumu’s fingers have taken home at the base of her neck, massaging gently at the tenseness he feels under the pads of his fingers.

“Someone’s tired… why didn’t you stay home?” He asks as they turn onto his street, letting his fingers fall away from her as he begins to check that they have everything they need. ”’t’s a good thing yer sleeping over at mine... and no couch for you. Your neck is all kinds of tense. It's a miracle you haven’t complained ‘bout it once tonight.”

“Shh.. you’re so loud for what?” She mumbles while trying to stifle a yawn. “So if I’m not supposed to sleep on the couch then where am I supposed to sleep then, boy genius? The floor?”

“No,” Atsumu answers seriously, brow slightly wrinkled as he reaches for his keys in his pocket. “You’ll sleep with me. In my bed. ‘t’s a cooling mattress so you won’t haffta complain that yer too hot.”

“Miya, last time I slept in a bed with you, you nearly suffocated me. Dunno if I really wanna have to deal with trying to roll you onto your back again.”

“Wait a minute! To be fair, my bed was smaller then so there was less room for the both of us.” He begins, opening the door and shutting it before turning the two of them towards the entrance to his apartment building. “Second of all, it was my first time sharing a bed with someone other than ‘Samu so ya shouldn’t blame me for not having proper sleep manners.”

The first steps into Atsumu’s home consists of the pair kicking off their shoes, debating lightly on who was gonna take over the shower first. Y/N slides her feet into the slippers that are specifically her slippers in his home and slinks off towards the kitchen, as Atsumu peels off his shirt and heads towards the shower. It feels comfortable, almost like a routine, as Y/N gathers eggs and two noodle packets to make them a small meal before bed. Moments later, Atsumu is coming out of the shower, towelling off his hair before settling onto the sofa, clicking on the T.V. as Y/N comes in with the two bowls of noodles. A silent agreement is met when they finish that Atsumu would wash the dishes as Y/N showered, taking a shirt from his drawers to sleep in

She hands him a bottle of aspirin, mumbling around the toothbrush to “take two or so help me.” Moments later she joins him in bed, slipping on a pair of socks that are two sizes too big for her before settling under the plush fabric of his comforter. He shifts over closer to her after tossing his phone on the nightstand, seeking out her form in the now dim room for a small cuddle before dozing off. She willingly accepts him too, sliding her body just under his and buries her face in his skin, still warm from the too-hot shower he is prone to taking in the name of muscle relaxation. He hums slightly as their feet tangle together, silently appreciating the way Y/N so freely indulges his need to touch someone after being touch-starved for so long.

Though Y/N isn’t much like him in that sense - doesn’t have this inherent need to cling to someone before bed, or just hold hands at a store, or hands on the shoulder in a crowded room. Sometimes she will, like now with her nose buried in his neck and her hand rubbing up and down the length of his sturdy back. Normally they won’t do this, both just a little too headstrong to dig into the tightening in their chests when the hug for a moment longer than usual; but tonight Y/N is silently congratulating him on winning the game that has had him stressed for weeks. She feels his lips press softly to the top of her head, a mumble of “good night” leaving his lips as she feels his breaths even out as the moments pass.

This is where Y/N wishes she had the power to pull away - blames moments like this on giving her the slightest bit of hope that they could be more than friends.

It's not that she hadn’t thought about it - frankly she’d spent too much time thinking about it. She could do this… with him.. But every thought is put to bed when she thinks back on this one conversation months ago. Granted she didn’t have the full context of the conversation but it's enough to make her heart squeeze when she sees Atsumu flirt with someone, or shake off his hand when she’s had a particularly sensitive day.

It was just another evening where hanging out after him and the rest of the team being away for a week. They’d ordered in food and drinks had been flowing nicely as the comfortable pair had caught up - it was honestly too homey of a setting in hindsight. His phone rang, the white text of “‘Samu” flashed and Y/N took that as a cue to finally get to the restroom.

“Mhm.. made it back early today - no Y/N picked me up.” He’d been mumbling around a handful of chips, the other side of the conversation mute to Y/N’s eavesdropping.. “Oh shut up, she doesn’t mind and it's not as if we’re dating anyway. It’s.. casual and it works for us.”

And she should’ve stepped into her place next to him, cuddled up into her chest and played the role of the blissfully ignorant idiot. But no, she stayed tucked behind the restroom door, blood pumping and heart beating too loud in her ears. It would seem as though Y/N was a glutton for punishment, a minor thing when thinking about putting herself through a moment of pain for a lifetime of pleasure - but the pain that came with Miya Atsumu’s next words would set her off kilter for a while.

“Besides, she’s not really my type. It’d never work out anyway.”

She had no choice really other than to shut the door. Take some extra time in the restroom than necessary - after all she’d just hear the potential love of her life admit to his twin brother that she wasn’t his type. All she could do really was stare at herself in the stupidly bright mirror in his stupid guest bathroom of his stupidly expensive apartment.  God this is so stupid, she thinks to herself while running cold water to press against her cheeks that she feels are heated up. Before she can really tear her own heart to bits though, she hears a quick rapt on the door.

“Y/N ya’right in there? Warned y’bout putting too much hot sauce on your food.”

But that’d been two years ago. It was a little rough after that; Y/N had thrown herself into finding a life post-grad which was a great distraction from the rumors going around that Atsumu had been spotted with some model or actress or something. Besides, Y/N wasn’t really the type to harp on failed romantic interests - all she’d need to do is download whatever relevant dating app for some validation and she’d be able to move on. However nights like tonight, when he looked too good and the little moment was a little too right - she’d still hope. Make a wish to whatever angle number or shooting star or deity above that she’d get tossed a chance to be in love with the stupid setter, because she had already fallen.

“Mm y’right?” She heard him, how could she not when he’s practically suffocating her. She chooses not to answer though, humming affirmatively - to which he huffs and shifts slightly, settling back into unconsciousness.

Maybe she’d blame the train of thoughts for tonight on the fact that she’d been drinking. However, come morning, the seed would bloom a little brighter in her chest when she wakes up to realize that her face is pressed into his side, arms circling his slim waist and one sock lost among their tangled legs.

---

God she hated him. Miya Atsumu was too much of a lot of things - too much of a sore winner, too much of an idiot, too much of a talker, and most of all, too much of a liar.

For the second time in the span of a month, Atsumu had convinced her to come out, despite her desperately wanting to curl up in bed and binge eat away the stress of the week. Only this time it was a charity event, so she would definitely be the bad guy if she said no. It was an event where him and the rest of his team had been roped into a charity dinner - which (gratefully) meant that Sakusa would be around, and they could fuck off to a corner someplace to talk shit about what all the rich wives are wearing and how bad it looks when their husbands are flirting with the wait staff. But Atsumu had promised that they’d leave before the entree was served - swore the entire drive over that “we’ll get you back home in time, grandma” and that he’d even cook for her this time.

But the entree had been whisked off about forty minutes ago, her wine glass had been refilled twice, and she was bored of watching Sakusa look at his watch, waiting for an appropriate time to leave. Atsumu was a few tables away, chatting up some couple, something about wanting to get their information for Osamu’s business. He would laugh a little too loudly at their jokes, gaining attention of those at surrounding tables - which was only mildly irritating as he had now gathered a crowd of people around him, spewing off some story about him getting lost in Russia the first time they played overseas.

She huffs and stands up, chair scraping slightly, gaining the attention of the rest of the  table. All she does is hold up her wine glass in a feeble attempt at an answer of where she’d be waiting at the bar. If I have to be here, the least I could do is drink for free. The bar is empty, surprisingly no one wants to mope around this very nice dinner.

“What can I get you?”

“Mmm.. whiskey highball, please.” She answers to the unnecessarily cute bartender, but the raise of his eyebrows do not go unnoticed.  And fortunately (or unfortunately) she’s got the time to press him. “Surprised?”

“Only a little bit. Noticed you were drinking wine most of the night so the whiskey is a hard switch.”

“So you’ve been watching me?” She muses, smiling as he places the drink in front of her. He smiles and leans forward on the bar slightly, shaking his head and replying.

“It’s almost as if… I’m being paid to make sure people have their drinks.”

“Oh, so it's not because I’m cute?”

“Now I didn’t say that did I? But you know you’re gorgeous; your boyfriend over there must tell you all the time.” He muses, a smirk playing at his lips as he nods behind her. She all but chokes on her drink when she turns around and sees that the direction he nodded in was directly in Atsumu’s vicinity before shaking her head violently. Atsumu was not going to ruin this for her. “Oh so not your boyfriend?”

“Nope.” She says, popping the ‘p’ as she slips the straw past her lips again, eyes taking in his leaning form. He was cute. His hair was on the silver side of blond, tips of his hair black. He was tall and lean, a piercing hanging from his left ear.

“That’s a shame.” And she gives him her name with a flutter of her lashes and a sweet smile. He returns it, preparing her next drink without her even having to ask. And so they talk, first about how the next person who approaches the bar should be cut off, to how pretentious the whole event was. Two drinks in, Y/N finds herself being invited to a show.

“This whole bartending thing is just a way for me to get some extra cash… I’ve got a gig in an hour. I figured if we leave together now, I can get you home to change outta this and into something a little more… concert fitting?”

“O-Oh.. yeah. I just need to go let my friend know…” She trails off, sliding off her barstool before turning to gracefully power walking to her initial seat next to Sakusa. She huffs and she plots herself down in the char next to him, to which he gives her a look of what the fuck. “I don’t have time to catch you up, but the insanely hot bartender is taking me home. As much as I’d love to get out of here with you, I desperately need to get lai-”

“Going somewhere?” Fuck fuck fuck.

“Didn’t you hear her? The hot bartender is taking her home and she needs -”

“Aishhhh shut up.” She turns to look at her curly haired friend, only to see that he’s got this annoying little smile on his face. She deeply exhales and turns back to Atsumu, who looks less than amused about what his friend said. “Listen, you promised me we’d leave two hours ago. Well you lied so nooow I made plans, so if you would kindly move outta my way.”

“No.” She whips her head up at the blonde. No? What the absolute fuck was he going on about telling her no, despite her not asking for his permission. “You’ve been drinking and you don’t even know the guy - how can you trust that he won’t memorize your address then come rob you or something? I promised to take you home, and since you’re ready now we can leave now.”

“Listen Miya, I appreciate the concern but really I’m a big girl. I can handle a night out by myself with a guy - besides I’m not even that drunk. Now, give me my house keys and move out of my way.”

Suddenly, it's like those cheesy western movies where two cowboys are staring each other down, neither willing to be put down by the other. Except it's this 6’2” pro-athlete staring quite literally down at Y/N, who hits the gym only on a blue moon and spends too much time sitting at a desk. Sakusa has to laugh at the two stubborn idiots in front of him; he knows that Atsumu is going to be able to win this little game that they're playing, but silently applauds Y/N for attempting to stick it to him. Moments pass before Atsumu finally sighs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his expensive suit and pulling out her keys - but he doesn’t give them to her.

“What’s his name? If you can tell me his name I’ll give you your keys and let you go.”

“Let me go? Okay, Dad.” She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, small clutch dangling from her wrist. “I know his name, Atsumu. I may have had a drink or two but I’m not an idiot to be going off with someone who’s name I don’t even know... it’s… uhm.” And she’s done. She hadn’t even bothered to ask his name, doesn’t even remember whether she gave him hers, nor was she smart enough to notice whether he’d been wearing a name tag.  Mentally she’s cursing herself, chancing a glance behind Atsumu’s shoulder to see the hot bartender chatting it up with another girl. Before she can think too much into it, Atsumu sighs deeply, grabbing his suit jacket off the chair next to her and slipping it on his shoulders, a soft “let’s go” leaving his lips as he nods his good-bye to the rest of the table. Y/N chews at the inside of her cheek before grabbing his arm.

“Give me my keys. I’m not going home with you. I want to be alone.”

---

Four days passed - four days of Atsumu borderline harassing Y/N with apologies. Promising to make it up to her. Which is how she finds herself walking into their favorite local sushi restaurant - it's the only one that has self-serving sushi that arrives on a miniature train, and it's also the only place that they go when apologies are to be exchanged. In the handful of years that they’d be friends, Y/N has needed to apologize to Atsumu thrice - two for blowing him off after overhearing the dreaded words and once for saying that maybe Osamu was the better twin. Atsumu on the other hand, had apologized to Y/N many times - so many times in fact that Y/N is sure that he makes up excuses just so they can come eat at this sushi place.

It’s been a long week for Y/N. The Sunday after the charity event, Y/N wakes up with one of the worst headaches of her life - and its due to the fact that she slept like shit hoping that Atsumu made it home safe since he hadn’t texted her he did. Monday she was handed a stack of documents at work that needed to get done before lunch (which didn’t get done). Tuesday morning was dominated by the fact that some idiot on the train to work had spilt a coffee on her, making her wear the most uncomfortable suit jacket, lest she wear a coffee soaked shirt for most of the day. Today, Wednesday, she’d woken up to a box with a pastry outside her door and a cup of coffee with a sticky note on the lid.

Sorry. Let me make it up to you. Train Sushi? 7pm?

Despite the fact that she was most definitely still thinking about why Atsumu acted the way he did - she still went through the mountain of paperwork on her desk with a little smile, knowing that she’d be getting free sushi and an apology. Maybe if she’s lucky, she can convince him that she needs a crepe on the way home.

As she makes her way into the restaurant that evening, she sees him. His dorito-shaped body is stationed at the bar, a cozy brown coat hugging his back, muscles of his arms being squeezed by the sleeves. She can see that he’s got a drink in front of him and she smiles slightly, stepping up towards the bar but stops momentarily. He’s talking to someone - not just someone, a girl. He’s smiling too. Y/N can’t see the stranger’s face, but judging by the way that she has a hand around his biceps and her head tilted, one can only assume that they know each other. Y/N attempts to step backwards, she wants to let him finish his conversation with the woman but she doesn’t know if she can stomach the idea of watching them flirt; but she misses the step, leading her to bump into the hostess who led her to the bar, creating a bit of a scene.

“Y/N! There you are! C’mere.”

She’s buying time by profusely apologizing to the hostess, who honestly is probably just trying to get away. At this point, Y/N has no choice but to walk towards her friend and this mystery woman. The ten steps towards the pair is enough time for Y/N to mentally list off all the things she could have done in the world to warrant some shitty karma that’s hitting her now. Once face to face with Atsumu, she smiles.

“Sorry - long day at work got me all …” Y/N’s words trail off, the hand that’s not death-gripping her purse waves off with her closing thoughts.

“Don’t mind, Wednesday’s are usually your long days. ‘Sides you’re here now - tha’s what matters.” God he’s so dumb. So handsome and so dumb, and god did she miss him. “It’s a good thing you got here a little late, this is Michimiya Yui. I think you two might’ve -”

“No, I don’t think we’ve met! It’s so nice to meet you - he used to talk about you all the time!” The brunette smiles at Y/N, sticking her hand out, which Y/N takes limply, shaking her hand. She’s pretty, Y/N thinks to herself. Her hair is short and she’s wearing some cute leather thigh high boots, her smile is almost paid-for perfect. She’s got this whole brown smoked out eyeliner working for her, which makes Y/N slightly subconscious about her most likely smudged and uneven eyeliner and less-than appealing work pants. Before Y/N can even think of a response to give, Michimiya has her hand back on Atsumu, a pretty smile settling on her lips. It feels like Y/N is watching a trainwreck happening before her eyes. “I was just telling Atsumu that I was back in town and that we should hang out!”

“And I was just explaining to her that I had plans with yo-”

“You should join us!” Idiot. Why am I such a fucking idiot? Atsumu looks over at Y/N with a wild look in his eyes, Michimiya looks like a child who wound up making out with two candies instead of one. “I had a super long day at work today so I’m really only able to eat dinner, but I know Atsumu can stay up for hours so once I leave you two can hang out.”

“Y/N, I thought that -”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea! I just need to tell the wait staff to cancel my to-go order, so excuse me.”

And so the two friends watch the woman walk away from them, making her way towards the to-go order area. Y/N bites at the inside of her cheek, intentionally avoiding Atsumu’s eyes that she feels are pinned on her. She digs out her phone from her purse, texting Sakusa an ominous “next time you see me, please poison me 😑.” As Y/N drags her eyes up Atsumu’s front, she feels the same way she did when she would get scolded by her parents. His eyes are staring at her face, no doubt wanting to press her about why she willingly invited a stranger to eat with them at their restaurant. To pacify him, all she does is hold up her hand, shaking her head.

“It’s fine, Miya. Like you said, Wednesday’s are my long days so I wouldn’t be able to stay out late with you anyway. Besides…” She starts, fixing a smile onto her face. “I think that she might have a little crush on you!” He says nothing, lips pressed in a hard line and a brow arched up at her. “Don’t look at me like that. And save your apology for next time… we have company.”

The rest of the evening goes exactly like Y/N’s worst nightmare. She is quite literally the third-wheel despite the fact that technically Michimiya was supposed to be the third wheel in this little scenario. Y/N has to watch the pretty brunette flirt relentlessly with Atsumu, who seems blissfully oblivious to the fact that for every compliment Michimiya gives Y/N, she gives herself two more. Sakusa is well informed on the situation, receiving texts every five minutes with another dumb thing that was said in front of Y/N’s appatizers. Rarely does someone ever wish for a natural disaster to hit, but in the last thirty minutes of sitting at this table, Y/N has wished for every biblical curse to wreak havoc in her way.

Despite the fact that Michimiya has hijacked every conversation, Atsumu still tries to ask Y/N about her, including her in the conversation as much as possible. But Y/N stopped trying twenty minutes ago, and is now forcing herself to eat the last few pieces of sushi she ordered - normally she’s a stress eater, but Michimiya has rested her hand on Atsumu’s thigh and Y/N has suddenly never felt more sick in her life. Y/N has never once picked up a tab around Atsumu - “please, ‘ve got more money than I know whatta do wit’it” he’d always tell her when she attempted to take up the ticket - but when they finally wave down someone and ask for the check, Y/N drops some cash on the table and collects her things.

“It’s been so nice to meet you, but I think I should really get going. I’ve gotta get to work early tomorrow - I’ll see you this weekend right, Miya?”

“Wait up, I’ll take you home… Yui it’s been really -”

“No no, really it's okay! You stay! I’ll just text you when I get home. Be safe. And again it was so nice to meet you - take care of Atsumu for me.”

“Oh I will!”

Y/N is not a runner but she’s never sprinted away from a situation so fast in her life. The image of Michimiya’s sly little smile at Y/N’s request to take care of her friend makes her feel gross, tears stinging at the back of her eyes and she settles on the train. Y/N can name a handful of times when she’d seen Atsumu around women - but never once had she’d met someone he was romantically involved with and it hurts. The gentle sway of the train does nothing to settle the spinning of her head with images of what Atsumu actually looks for - his actual type. She feels like an idiot; she should have just told Atsumu that they could do a raincheck, or if she was feeling bold, she could’ve told Michimiya to fuck off. The latter seems possible in the version of herself in Y/N’s head, but the reality was that she was too nice. Always wanted to make the people she cares about happy, and Atsumu looked... happy? Besides, Y/N thinks to herself as she exits the train and makes the trek towards her apartment building, if Michimiya Yui was going to be involved with Atsumu, the more exposure she had to her, the better off Y/N would be in accepting that Atsumu would never ever be with Y/N like that.

Once settled in her apartment, she sends off a quick “home. thanks for tonight!” to Atsumu before making her way to the bathroom. A nice warm soak would surely make her feel better, make her forget about what an idiot she is and maybe, just maybe, make her body relax all the love she holds in her heart for the blond away. Her phone pings, twice, but she ignores it. Ten minutes into her pity soak she hears a bang on her door, which only makes her groan and dunk her head under the water. The banging stops, making Y/N think it was just her neighbor or something asking for a favor. What she doesn’t expect is for her to exit the bath twenty minutes later to see Sakusa Kiyoomi sittin on her couch.

“Hello, glad to see you exploiting your spare key access.”

“Miya called me and said you looked like shit earlier. And judging by your texts throughout the evening, I figured you were on the brink of a breakdown.”

And so she was. She spent the rest of the evening talking Kiyoomi through the night, slipping in all the questions she’s had from the past two times that Atsumu had cockblocked her. And bless Kiyoomi for sitting through her tears, sitting cross-legged and drinking tea that he had initially made for her but refused to let her drink once he realized she had already brushed her teeth. It felt almost like she was finally thinking about what her friendship with Miya Atsumu was, what it could and couldn’t be. Every moment painted so clearly about how Y/N felt for her blond friend, but the only thing missing was how said friend felt about her. At 11:30 pm, two hours after Kiyoomi initially arrived at Y/N’s apartment, she pushed Kiyoomi out the door, eyes puffy but heart and head a little clearer than how they were when he arrived.

Despite promising Kiyoomi that she would not think about Atsumu, as Y/N settles into bed, her thoughts can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be with him. She mulls it over as she slides off her socks, deciding that it’d be nice - probably exactly how they are now, plus a title and a little less swatting his hands away when he reaches for her in public. Y/N can’t help it as she thinks about whether they would kiss a lot - they’ve kissed before, neither strangers to cheek kisses as greetings or kisses at the top of their heads when the other is crying into their chest (there was even that very drunk kiss they shared on New Years Eve when their friendship was fresh that both still have warm cheeks about when they think about). Just as she’s about to go down the path of whether Atsumu would spend more nights with her at her cardboard box of an apartment or her at his, Y/N cuts herself off - after all she wasn’t his type. Tonight proved that more than anything, she thinks.

It’s not like Atsumu has never brought anyone around Y/N - there’d been a few that she’d met, though they were mostly over a facetime call and it was mostly just her waving at them before Atsumu ducked away to have a private conversation. It's not like tonight was the first night Y/N had to swallow the bile in her mouth at seeing someone make heart eyes at Atsumu - it's just this time felt different; almost like Y/N was finally having the truth thrusted into her face. But Y/N isn’t mad or hateful of Michimiya, nor Atsumu for that matter - she’d never been the type to hate a girl for having feelings for the person she has feelings for. It’s annoying, sure, but Y/N doesn’t see the point in hating someone for how they feel - however, Y/N does not make the effort to become friends with these girls, or maintain the close friendship with Atsumu for that matter. Is it petty to put a strain on a friendship out of fear of losing said friendship? Absolutely! But Y/N knows she won’t be able to stomach another night like tonight - another night of seeing Atsumu slip so easily from her fingers into the arms of another. And as observant as Atsumu is, he never fully recognizes that Y/N is avoiding him, at least that what she hopes since more often than he’s able to worm himself back into her life.

---

Following the failed apology dinner, Y/N tried her hardest to give herself a few days without the blonde- made easy by the fact that the weekend after the failed apology dinner he’d be out of town for another tournament. It’s not like she was totally avoiding him, she’d responded to his texts and even answered two of his six facetime calls while he was away, she just wanted a little bit of time to wallow in self pity in her apartment, crying over her comfort movies and eating too many bags of hot chips. But once he was back in the same timezone as her, Atsumu made it impossible for Y/N to fully wallow.

It started when he texted her about their favorite crepe place temporarily closing for some reason or other - he’d tried to convince her to ditch work early that day to come, but Y/N declined with a simple text of “i like my job tyvm.” So what did he do? Pick her up in his flashy sports car that day after work (two hours later than usual since she’d figured he’d do something ridiculous like this) and drove her there, where he didn’t bat an eyelash as she ordered double than what she normally would have (a silent fuck you from Y/N but it didn’t matter since she wasn’t actualy hurting his wallet). She’d been able to tide him off for a few days, as she escaped to her hometown for a weekend - but that did little to stop the mirage of texts he’d sent her, describing in great detail this cool hybrid bookstore-game cafe that he found and thinks she’d like. Instead of responding how she actually wanted, she’d just replied with a half-assed “ahh exciting- sounds cute!” (She mentally grants herself ten nice points for erasing her initially text, telling him to take his “fucking girlfriend”). This must have really struck a nerve with him when the following weekend, he’d dragged her out of bed on Sunday morning to take her to said bookstore-game cafe, even spoiling her by secretly buying a book she’d picked up but put back.

Y/N can’t tell if Atsumu is intentionally ignoring the hints she doesn’t want to see him or if he’s really just oblivious. She also can’t tell if the patter of her heart when he drags her out of bed despite her not wanting to see him is a good thing or not. It’s been weeks since she’d third-wheeled with Atsumu and Michimiya, surely Y/N should have been able to take a little bit of pride in the fact that he was literally chasing her down to spend time with her rather than Michimiya - but before she can even swallow that pill Atsumu shows up at her apartment with the trace of a bruise hiding just below his shirt collar. The small mark on his neck makes Y/N convince herself that this would be the time that she needs a full on Atsumu ban.

Said ban never actually happens, though.

Just as proof that this ban doesn’t happen, today Atsumu has decided that Y/N needs to come shopping with him. For the entire day. Cue the montage of Atsumu banging on Y/N’s door at nine in the morning, breakfast pastries and coffee in hand as Y/N answers in all her morning glory, sleep caked up in the outer corner of her eyes and pajamas haphazardly fixed. Words are exchanged as Atsumu pushes her towards the shower, promising to make up her bed and even take out the trash for her (a chore she put off last night because she’d seen too many people smoking by the dumpsters which scared her enough to make her drag up the two bags of back up the five flights of stairs). As Y/N settles at her desk to work on making herself “the hottest person at the market,” Atsumu settles on her bed, talking a mile a minute about all the things he wanted to get at the market and the possible places they could go for lunch in the area. All she can do is hum, wondering silently why he’d chosen to take the trip with her and not his girlfriend - but she wouldn’t complain.

The market was...fulfilling enough. Surprisingly, Y/N was walking towards the food trucks with more bags in her hands than Atsumu, who followed behind her with one print from a vendor that Y/N convinced him would actually look good in his home office. The pair decided that Y/N was better suited to look for a place where they could park themselves to eat, while Atsumu went off to get them lunch. Before Y/N could make a break for the tables though, Atsumu grabbed her face, thumb swiping at her cheek firmly - it took Y/N every ounce of restraint to not whimper at the unprompted affection.

“Wha-”

“Had some of that jam sample from earlier on your face, dummy.”

“Tsk… why didn’t you see it earlier.”

He just smiled softly, letting the warmth of his hand fall from her face before patting her back towards her initial direction. Frankly, she’d been thrown off her rhythm; they’d touched each other before for fucks sake. So why was this one moment of closeness enough to make her chest feel tight? As she weaved through the tables, she can’t help but hold her hand to where his was, almost as if to preserve the warmth that was now gone. She hummed gleefully as she found a table, making her way towards it and setting up camp. As she settles into her chair, fingers deftly texting to Atsumu where she’s stationed, she sees a shadow come across the table.

“Hey, are you gonna use all these chairs?” He’s cute, almost terribly cute - he’s got this pinkish-blonde hair going on top, an almost shy glint in his gray-ish colored eyes, and an almost self-assured smile pulling at his lips. He was also tall, much taller since Y/N was sitting, but she almost doesn’t mind considering the fact that she is most definitely gawking at him. She shakes her head momentarily, both as an answer to his question and a way to clear her head momentarily.

“Thanks! My friend over there is too precious to sit on the curb, apparently.” He smiles at her, eyes squinting and she’s momentarily breathless at just how cute he is when he smiles. His arms move to grab one of the chairs and that's when she decides to speak up, not wanting to quite end the conversation yet.

“Ahh no worries! I know all about having that too precious friend! I only need one other chair so you can take two of these.”

“Oh cool thanks… and hey this might be a little weird but - fuck are you from Miyagi? You look kinda like this one girl from high school but - “

“I am! I went to Aoba Johsai and -”

He clicks his tongue and seems to smile even brighter now. “That’s right - you’re Y/N right? I think you were a year younger than us right, but you always hung out with that one girl in my year who used to smoke behind the boy’s gym…” Y/N nods, a grimace on her face and the back of her neck feeling a little warm with embarrassment. How could she possibly explain that said girl was actually Y/N’s cousin and that she didn’t actually smoke, she’d just smell like it after working at their family restaurant. “Well I’m Makki, by the way. If you remember Matsukawa and Iwaizumi they're over there - they were at Seijoh too.” She nods, leaning slightly to see the two men behind him, both wearing smiles that were just a little too cheeky.

“Yeah yeah, I remember… you also had a particular whiny one with you too, right?” He laughs at that, responding that said whiny one was actually abroad. The two make a little conversation, her giving him some suggestions on places to visit since one of his trio is actually visiting for the weekend. Y/N thinks this is nice - feels like the main character in a movie with the amount of men that have approached her in the past couple weeks. Before she can get too cocky in her ability to pull though, Atsumu walks up to the table, hands full with a tray that seems to be piled with too many little plates.

“There y’are… couldn’t see you from across the way… everything okay?” Atsumu questions, standing to his full height as if sizing up Makki, who seems completely unphased by Atsumu.

“Yeah, was just asking your girlfriend if I could steal these two chairs away before I realized that we knew each other.” The strawberry blonde is definitely unphased by Atsumu, who’s shoulders visibly relax at Makki’s suggestion that the two friends were together. “Well it was nice seeing you, Y/N! Thanks again for the chairs, you all enjoy your meal.”

As Makki walks away, Atsumu settles into his own chair with a smug little smile playing at his lips. Y/N, on the other hand, is chewing at the inside of her cheek as food is placed in front of her. Her blond friend, the observant little shit, notices that she doesn’t immediately tuck into the lunch laid in front of her and nudges her foot with his, muttering a quick “what's wrong.”

“You were blessed with possibly the worst timing in the world, y’know that?”

“What d’ya mean?” He muses, taking in her huffily pulling the lid off her food and stuffing her face with the rice bowl in front of her.. She chews, combing the food on her plate with the plastic fork as a way to stop herself from unleashing all her frustrations.

“You always but in whenever I start getting hit on! Or you stop every chance I have at possibly getting to know someone; you come in here full force and its really not fair. I don’t do it to you, and it's just not fair.” Y/N hates that she probably sounds like a whining child, but she really can’t help it anymore. It’s really not fair that Atsumu flaunts his conquests on the cover of every magazine, but god forbid Y/N talk to a guy. “Its been a while since I’ve had sex, Atsumu, and it’s getting to a point where I’d jump just about anyone’s bones. I - I just think that as my best friend you should be providing me some support, not cockblocking me at every fucking opportunity you get.”

It takes every fiber in his body to not laugh at how ridiculous Y/N is being right now. He licks at his lip, catching whatever food crumbs he could before clearing his throat. “‘M sorry what? You actually wanna hook up with those guys? They seem like the type to just fuck ya n’ then not text you back.”

“And if that’s what I want then so what!? Did you miss the part where I said I’m desperate here?”

“Then..” He takes a swig at his water bottle in front of him, leaning back slightly in his seat and sliding his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head. “If you need it that badly then you can just do it with me. You said anyone so I can -”

She laughs, one that sounds on the brink of delusion. “You’re fucking ridiculous. Yeah okay… Dunno if you remember but you’ve got a girlfriend, Miya.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Y/N. We’re… not that serious with each other and we’re also open. She knows that..'' He looks smug, and Y/N wants to smack the absolute life out of him. “And I’m being serious, darlin.. I’d rather get you off than see you get your hopes up over some random.”

Y/N squeezes the poor utensil in her hand, choosing to chomp down one of the buns on the table instead of reminding Atsumu that she wasn’t exactly his type. But she lets it go, just squinting at him and shaking her head, mumbling how ridiculous he is before swiping some of his veggies off his plate. How else is she supposed to react to her best friend blatantly telling her that he’d fuck her if she’d ask - she tries to ignore the way that their knees resting on each other under the table makes her heart soar. Before she can form a sentence, something to steer the direction away from her sex life (or lack thereof), Atsumu mumbles around a forkful of food that she’d better hurry since he wants to do another lap of the market before it closes.

---

Atsumu’s offer and that entire conversation is brought up again a few days later; the pair are in Y/N’s apartment this time. She’d asked him and his brother to come over to install some shelves for her, but apparently Osamu was busy. With the shelves installed, Y/N put on a movie to serve as Atsumu’s entertainment whilst she organized her trinkets. She wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, too concerned with trying to see if the shelves were actually level or not when she heard Atsumu laugh behind her, muting the T.V. with a quizzical brow raised.

“Huh? If you don’t like the movie then you can change it… ‘m not payin atten-”

“Oh yeah not paying attention right?” She gives him a hard look as if proving to him that she can’t honestly give him the plot of the movie. “So you’re telling me that its just a coincidence that this movie is about two friends who make a pact to fuck each other? That it's a coincidence that the literal name of the movie is ‘Friends with Benefits”

She rolls her eyes and turns to face him fully, seeing that he’s now sat up on her couch with his elbows resting on his knees. A beat passes before he puts his hands up, almost as if in surrender, before he pushes himself off the couch and towards the kitchen. She watches him as he pulls out a bottle of wine, nodding to the couch as if asking her to take a break. She relents, folding her legs under herself and pulling at a string on the worn sofa, thinking she’d probably try to replace this piece before she renewed her lease. He thrusts the glass to her, settling into the sofa but he makes no move to unmute the T.V., instead inciting some silent battle while they each sip from their respective glasses.

“Y’know you’ve been snappy lately… my offer from the other day still stands, hope y’know tha’.” She scoffs, choosing to take another swig at her wine, which does little to cool the warmth she feels in her throat. He’s not technically wrong - the conversation the other day had made a fog of tension hang over her, making a long lost desire for the blond resurface in her lower abdomen at full force. She’d spent way too much time the other night on Amazon, debating on whether it would be a good idea to get rechargeable batteries for her toy, spent too long watching his mouth move when he’d facetimed her the other night. It's not that Y/N hadn’t hooked up with anyone since knowing Atsumu, it's just that maybe she’d spent a little too much time enjoying how Atsumu met her emotional needs that she had neglected her physical needs.

“What offer?” She’ll be damned to let him in on the fact that she’d done nothing but think about his stupid offer. Refuses to let him know that she wants, no needs, to say yes. So she plays dumb, finger dancing along the lip of her cup, foot swinging anxiously against the floor.

He hums, reaching to put his glass on her beat up coffee table. He leans his elbow on the back of the couch, placing his chin in his hand, giving Y/N his undivided attention. “‘Samu was talking about how his girlfriend has been on his ass lately about every little thing and so I asked him if they’re doin’ okay, y’know physically… didn’t answer me but I figured he’d solved it if he hasn’t mentioned it since. I heard someone say that if yer girl’s acting fussy then y’need to think about if you’ve been fuckin’ her right and well…” Y/N swallows the lump in her throat, stopping the shiver that threatens to rack her body at the idea of Atsumu thinking she’s his girl. “I was bein’ serious the other day. I know ya were mad so it wasn’t the best time to bring it up, but it seemed like the only good thing to say. Besides, ‘m not all that bad in bed, can ring up a few people if y’need a review.”

Y/N doesn’t respond with anything other than a forced huff of laughter, can't respond really. It feels too warm, she’s hoping that maybe this is some fever dream instead of reality. She just plays with her cup absentmindedly, not quite able to look the blond in the eyes despite the fact that his eyes are studying her face as if she holds all the answer to the questions the universe has. Him being bad in bed is the least of her worries, what if she’s bad? God she wants to say yes, maybe she’ll say yes - maybe it’d be good for her to finally get some di-

“Forget it, ‘m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable then we don’t have to, sweetheart. I just -”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Oh now she speaks. He looks at her, a wild look fixed on his face, almost as if he doesn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. “It's just..” She throws her head back, face covered momentarily by some plant leaves. God she didn’t want to actually voice her thoughts but now she has no choice.

“It’s just what? If yer worried about the fuckin part, I can just get you off other ways. Get paid to be good with my hands -”

“Just shut up for once please, you’re ruining it.” He makes a show of zipping his lips, smiling as Y/N squares herself to him, stretching her neck as if she’s preparing for a fight, rather than speaking a coherent sentence.. “It's just that I don’t… dont wanna force you into thinking you have to ‘cos I’m being bitchy to you.. Like it’s not your problem to fix y’know and I just. Besides, don't wanna be the only one enjoying it, want you to like it too and … for fucks sake this is ridiculous. I just dunno I-”

Atsumu’s hand reaches out towards her, fingers stroking her knee in a comforting manner but it’s all but comforting to Y/N, who’s entire leg feels on fire at this small moment of skinship. “Shh, shh, no baby yer not forcing me to do anything. Don’t think that way - I-I wanna do it! I wan’ya to be happy and if this makes you happy then… And i mean if y’need more of a reason then think of it as a way for me to say sorry for cockblockin’ ya all the time.”

Y/N doesn’t say yes, but she also doesn’t outright decline. She can’t think of anything other than how, if she nodded her head, he’d give her everything she’d been wanting. Atsumu and Y/N stare at each other, moments pass and she’s sure that he’s going to take her stillness and silence as a no - but he just moves to grab her wine glass, moving it from her grasp to the table, shifting closer to her in the process. She holds her breath and he brings one of his hands towards her face, palming the side of her jaw in his warm hand, thumb rubbing at the plush skin of her lips. “Can I kiss ya? Maybe tha’s all ya need is a good kiss, yeah?” She nods, his hand moving to pluck at her bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Got really nice lips, don’t you? ‘S so soft and wet, catch myself wanting to touch ‘em allot’' She inhales softly as he leans in, his hand sliding to the side of her neck and he litters soft kisses against her jaw. She whines softly when his mouth nears hers. “Shh, gonna kiss you in a minit.”

All Y/N can do is breath, mouth parted slightly as Atsumu drags his mouth over her face. His hand is so warm and big on her skin; he’s so close in her face that all she can do is inhale and smell him, making her dizzy with building warmth in her belly. They catch each other’s gaze, neither daring to blink away, before he tilts his head, pressing his mouth against hers softly at first. He doesn’t move to kiss her, just holds his lips over hers for a moment, as if giving her time to back away if she wants to; but when she doesn’t, he hums and pulls her head towards his more, lips moving in tandem. His hand slides from her cheek, worming its way towards the nape of her neck as he pulls her to him - he wastes no time in deepening the kiss, licking into her mouth with  fervor. And she lets him, moving into his lap as she relishes in the feeling of his tongue lazily swirling with her own; the new found position allows him to drag his hand down her back soothingly, her own hands sliding around his neck and up into his hair.

She parts with a soft gasp, whether it be for air or out of surprise she can’t tell. He whines momentarily, before nosing his way down towards her neck, pressing butterfly-light kisses at the flesh. She’s wiggling in his arms, and he laughs, the air ticking the soft bend of her collarbone. “Fuck, you’ve been holdin out on me. Tha’ was good right? A good kiss for ya?” All Y/N can do is nod, sliding her hand towards his face in hopes of bringing his lips back to hers. She can feel the smirk on his mouth when she presses their mouths together again, and maybe after she’d bitch him out about it but right now all she wants is to be suffocated by him.

Moments pass, the air filled with soft pants in between kisses and thickening arousal. Atsumu cards his fingers in her hair gently, mouth still against hers, free hand sneaking around Y/N’s front. She whines softly, to which he shushes her softly. “Shh you’re okay… just wanna feel ya.” He soothes her over by indulging her in soft kisses against her lips,   hand pushing up the front of her ratty t-shirt, snaking his hand past the waistband of her shorts into the confines of her (now too tight) underwear. Y/N shudders when he strokes lightly over her clit, before surpassing it completely and going to where a wet spot had been developing on the fabric. Plucking the damp cotton out of the way and letting the tips of two fingers rub over her weeping hole, “Oh.. this for me?”

A small noise crawls out of her throat, a mix between a moan, a whine, and surprise. “Don’t, ‘tsumu. It’s embarrassing..”

“Shh don’t be embarrassed. Just feels good to know I make ya feel good, baby.” Atsumu pulls his fingers from her, smiling when she whines at the loss of contact. But he’s able to soother her before she can get too fussy; one moment Y/N is on top of him, struggling to not rock against his thigh and relieve some of the pressure building up inside of her, the next Atsumu has her flipped over so her back, her body caged between the back of the sofa and his arms. A hand on either side of her head as he bends in, sweeps his tongue at a strip of salty skin just beneath her jaw. He hastily shoves up the shirt she’s wearing, revealing more of her and letting his hands graze over her breasts lightly at first before kneading them. She feels lightheaded while his mouth works on her throat, biting and sucking a bruise at the base of it that makes her gulp. Parting from the skin with a gentle kiss and a small, whispered comment of, “Taste so good, so soft and sweet. Been holding out on me, hmm?”

For the first time ever, Y/N has Atsumu in her arms and has no need to push him away - no, instead she’s holding onto him as if she’d die if he slipped away from her, her hands gripping his broad shoulders before sliding up into his hair as he makes his way down her body. He’s practically praising her - pressing wet, open mouthed kisses on her skin as he moves downwards, fingers making quick work of tugging her bottoms off, helping her kick out of them quickly and clumsily. She knows that Atsumu is not a patient man, but this is a whole other level of impatience. He’s pushing her thighs open, cold fingers squeezing at the soft flesh of her thighs as he scoots down to be at eye-level with the barest part of her, making sure her calves are hooked over his shoulders. Y/N can’t remember a time when she’s ever been in a more vulnerable position, but instead of shying away like her instincts would have her, she finds herself moving to better accommodate the man between her legs. Her eyes catch his caramel colored ones and her breath catches in her throat; he’s staring at her, enamored by her.

“Such a pretty little thing aren’t ya?” he murmurs, lips forming a gentle kiss on her inner thigh but before she can retort he gives one long, gentle swipe of his tongue directly up the middle of her folds. She gasps, face turned away from him and thighs threatening to close, but he shifts his hand to stop her, holding her in place. “Aht… don’t get shy now, lemme get a taste.”

It’s too much when he dives back in, skilled mouth a vicious match for his insatiable need to please. As he strokes his soft, wet tongue deeper and deeper between her slippery folds that part around him willingly. Y/N’s sure she’s moments away from swearing her undying fealty to whatever higher being put this on her plate for today.  Puckering his lips around her clit after stopping just before sucking on her until it was swollen and even greedier for his attention. Dipping his tongue inside of her hole, humming appreciatively against her and only feeding into the whimpering sounds filtering out of her mouth.

Embarrassingly, Y/N feels that she’s nearing her end - despite the shame of admitting that it's coming too fast, she feels the need to tell him anyway. “Hmph… g’na cum,” she chokes out, hoping that he heard her because all she can hear is the blood rushing in her ears. Every sense is suffocated by Atsumu’s presence, and she’s shameless as she lets every pant slip past her lips, feeding into Atsumu’s ego. “‘m so close, I need it. Need you to – to keep going please, ‘Tsumu”

And he does, gets her to the edge of her high before sliding his mouth away from her. The whine that falls past her lips is deafening, eyes opening and seeing that he’s just nuzzling her thigh, lips making light work at marking the soft flesh. “No, no you said… said you’d help.. Please I’m-” she’s hiccuping, tripping over her words numbly as she tries tugging his head back to where she’s most desperate for him.

He hums at her softly, almost patronizingly, as he places a kiss to the skin closest to his mouth. “Don’t cry pretty girl.. Won’t leave you hanging, ‘ts so warm down ‘ere… might have to stay forever, tha’ okay?” He is disgusting, filthy, so sinfully good. And true to his word, he goes back in without another word, only a small smile and his own hum that vibrates through her lower half. When he takes her clit back between his lips, it’s all she needs. Every tense muscle finally seizing to his maximum strain; it’s like she was a string that’d been stretched too far and finally frayed in the middle, snapping. She can hear her heartbeat thumping like a bass in her ears, can feel the way she’s twitching under Atsumu’s relentless movements, and it drowns out her own noises that she’s making.

Moments later, all that can be heard is her bated breathing, head completely empty and eyes heavy, flickering and fluttering with just how light she feels. Atsumu kisses his way back up to be face-to-face with her, making sure to peck gently at the marks he’d littered her skin with. His face is buried in the base of her throat, their arms tangled around each other lazily - Y/N feels too sleepy to protest the way that he’s pressing all his weight onto her; but isn’t too tired to realize that he’s hard when her hips wiggle to accommodate him between her legs, maybe has been the entire time, which confuses her slightly. Why would he be hard over her? She understands her total arousal over him since she bitched him into submission, but him? If anything, him being hard right now just proves, to Y/N at least, that maybe he would get it up with anything. But what if it is for you, her heart wonders briefly.

“‘Tsumu… are you-?”

“Shh, ‘ts alright. Let's get you to bed.” And he moves to slide off her, moving to guide the two of them to her bed, which was a feat on its own considering Y/N’s legs feel like jelly. All he can do is smile at her, taking in her relaxed face and mused hair. He settles her into bed, sliding up next to her and pulling her onto his chest, lips pressed into the crown of her head.  Before Y/N can even think of a way to say thank you, she feels sleep taking over, choosing instead to just indulge (for once) in the pseudo-domestic situation she’s in tonight.

The following morning, Y/N almost doesn’t want to wake up, isn’t ready to come to terms with whatever happened yesterday. Long gone is the lusty drunkenness from last night, but Atsumu...Atsumu is still fully there, lips pursed and arms shoved under the pillow - Y/N holds back the urge to trace her fingers along the lines of his arm. She russells around, hoping that sleep takes over her again so she can justify waking up wrapped around Atsumu - her attempts are futile though when she feels a firm squeeze at her side, cold fingers making her jump slightly.

“Wha’s wrong?”

She mumbles a barely coherent “nothing,” to which Atsumu just hums, snaking his arm over Y/N’s middle and pulling her towards him, chest to chest with his breath fanning over her face. She swears she could die a happy person now. Wants to have every morning be like this, him in her too small bed, squishing themselves together for warmth, just the sheer proximity is enough, she muses to herself. Apparently, Y/N is thinking just a little too loud this morning for Atsumu’s liking because he sighs softly, asking if she’s sure nothing is wrong.

“Mm ‘m fine. Jus’ tryna get comfortable, go back to sleep.”

“Can’t now, all yer wiggling woke me up” And before she can even retort, he shifts slightly, practically forcing his groin on her thigh, to which she squeaks softly. “Jus go back to sleep… too early for breakfast.”

“Bu- Tsumu.. Lemme..” she starts, shyly. She did have this inherent need to pay him back for what happened, and she can only equate his favor with something equally as...pleasurable?...fulfilling? She can’t find the right word but the most equal compensation for sex has to be more sex, right? The sleep in her bones is fully gone now, her hands sliding down his sides slowly, tentatively. “Please...wanna jus’-”

“Don’t have to, can just go to the rest- sh-shit.” He starts, his own hand reaching to stop hers but his movements stutter when she palms at his crotch, giving his bulge a full on grope. She shushes him softly, lips moving to peck his jaw softly as she snakes her hands past the tight confines of his underwear; and though she can’t see much of what is going on she can feel how thick Atsumu is. His hands have shifted slightly, one arm resting behind her and the other cupping her face, their lips tangled in kisses that feel too sweet and far from platonic.

Moments pass, and it's apparent that Y/N is moving much too slowly for Atsumu, him bucking into her hand and his hips rolling in uncalculated and sloppy movements. He whines softly when she pulls her lips off his, both softly gasping for air, but she shushes him, using the most minimal amount of strength to push him onto his back and settles between his massive thighs. By this point, once fully exposed in front of her, he's so hard that the foreskin is already drawn away from the head, tip slick and wet with precum. She’s gentle, wanting to preserve the quietness that comes with waking up at eight in the morning, as she presses a few open mouth kisses at the patch of hair below his belly button.

And it’s all over from here. Y/N ducked herself down, licking from the dip of his balls to his drippy head in one broad swipe. Y/N shudders softly at the whimper she’s able to pull out of the man above her, thinking that it’s probably the best noise she’d ever elicited from a man. Atsumu runs his fingers through her hair as she slides his head into her mouth, fingers deftly scraping at her scalp as she begins sucking. She sucks him like she wants to – like this was the most perfect way to spend every morning, with her blonde, dumb, stupid best friend stuffing her mouth. Both are still hazy with sleep, but that doesn’t stop Y/N from pulling him in deeper, hollowing her cheeks as she begins bobbing her head and moving her hand in tandem to stroke at what can’t fit in her mouth.

His fingers start to tangle in her hair rather than comb through it, his moans filling the room, punctuated with little encouragements that she hums at around him, like, “Tha’s it, there’s my good girl,” and through shaky laughs, “M'gonna cum if you keep doing that, baby.” Eventually, Y/N knows that he must be near his peak, but she pauses, eyes locking with his caramel colored ones, as she pulls her mouth away to let his length just rest on her tongue.

“Fuck yer pretty… so good aren’t ya?” He whisper-groans at her, gripping her hair a little harder when she tilts her head to the side, allow him to shallowly fuck himself between her lips, his thumb tracing the bulge his dick made in her cheek. “Need'a pull off if y'don’t wanna taste, baby… gettin so- fuck- so close.” He gives her hair a slight tug, like he might actually pull her off himself, but she doesn’t allow him; she just shifts her mouth, making light work of wrapping her lips around his tip, sucking greedily with and humming in protest around him. And it’s that that sends him over, twitching in her mouth as he sputters off shaky profanities before she feels shot after shot of white ropes hitting her tongue. Y/N can’t help but stare at him above her, relishing in the fact that this morning she gets to see him shake and shudder because of her.

Y/N pops off him gently, drawing back and humming at the lingering salty taste he’s left on her tongue. She graces the skin of his heaving abdomen with soft, fluttering kisses as she tucks him back into his underwear, before she crawls up his body, legs swinging to straddle his narrow hips. He’s got an arm thrown over his eyes, neck red and he seems almost bashful underneath her (which makes Y/N’s heart swell with adoration at just how him he is). She wiggles softly, folding her hands on his chest and laying her chin on them, waiting for him to say something to her. She blows a laugh through her nose when he finally looks down at her, eyes glimmering and lips pulled in the shyest smile she thinks she’s ever seen on him.

“You… yer good. Too good… just wow.”

---

Suffice to say lots has happened in the week following the pair quite literally eating their hearts out.

Firstly, Atsumu spent nearly every evening at her apartment that week. He waited every single day outside of her office building - her coworkers have taken to telling her how lucky she is that she has a man waiting for her with this whipped look on her face, but she swears up and down (with warm cheeks) that it's not like that. They eat dinner, alternating between picking up something on the way or cooking together - and by cooking, just picture Atsumu cutting vegetables in uneven chunks while Y/N scolds him for not adding enough water to the rice cooker. Normally this could happen: it's not super rare that they visit each other during the week if it's convenient - what is definitely not in the norm is the fact that Atsumu has buried himself between Y/N’s thighs thrice this week. It starts when Y/N looks too stressed on Tuesday evening, that Atsumu pulls her legs over his lap in an attempt to “massage some of the stress away,” which only leads to him manhandling her onto her back, promising to give her something else to cry about besides work.

Secondly, Osamu thought it would be best to alert Y/N that Atsumu had a very awkward conversation with a woman during lunch on Thursday - it was secretly his way of asking her to ask Atsumu what happened because both Y/N and Osamu were terrible gossips who feed off each other. When Y/N asked though, all Atsumu said was that the whole conversation didn’t matter, that the woman (who Y/N learned was actually Michimiya) wanted more than Atsumu was able to give to her. That their lives weren’t in sync or whatever, that they’d eventually manage to be co-workers at best. To say that Y/N wasn’t elated at the news would be a bold-faced lie.

Y/N feels on cloud nine, feels like she doesn’t even need to have a conversation with Atsumu about what their situation is currently. She gets to reap all the benefits of a relationship now, she’s physically taken care of and emotionally spoiled. Only thing she’s actually missing is the title but what's in a word, right?Atsumu wasn’t a natural flirt, always hid compliments behind a harsh delivery - but lately he’s taken to drowning Y/N in compliments, even the corny ones. Y/N expected a post-nut “god yer pretty,” but what occasionally caught her off was when he would open the door for her (normal) and say that “a pretty gal like you should never hafta touch a handle” (not normal). Subconsciously, Y/N feels like he’s only trying to compliment his way into her pants, but she chooses to ignore the way he coos at “just how gorgeous her eyes are” when he makes eye contact with her during a midnight snack.

On the second Thursday following the start of the Y/N-Astumu situationship, Y/N has no choice really other than to ask Atsumu what’s going on with them. They’re at the grocery store by his place (he’d convinced her to take the following day off work and spend the night with him), everything is more than normal when the pair’s conversation gets interrupted by a literal model-esque person, touching Atsumu’s shoulder. Y/N tries to sneak her hand from his arm, but he grasps her hand before she can get too far, looking at the stranger with a less-than-friendly expression.

“Oh Miya! I’m a huge fan, would you mind taking a photo with me?” He indulges his fan, never letting go of Y/N’s hand, even as she steps out of the camera’s focus. The stranger parts with a grateful smile to both Atsumu and Y/N, which feels unnecessary, but Y/N returns anyway. The friends continue their shopping trip before making the trek to Atsumu’s apartment building. Y/N is quiet, in her head about the whole fan interaction that lasted a total of five minutes, but Atsumu says nothing - even stays quiet until the pair are up in his apartment.

“Everything okay? Not bored of me are ya?”

She smiles weakly at him, settling to rest against his kitchen counter. “It’s just… I- nevermind it’s stupid.” She shakes her head, hand waving in front of her as if trying to shoo away the negative cloud above her head. But Atsumu quickly grabs her hand, pulling her into the space between his arms.

“It’s not stupid if ‘s how yer feeling.. What’s up?”

“Okay…” She starts, pushing away from his chest to give herself some literal and mental space. He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back at the opposite counter to Y/N, who's mirroring his stance except her head is thrown back, eyes searching his ceiling for the right words to come next. “Are you always like… this… with the girls who give you head?” When she looks at him, his head is tilted to the left in confusion, making her huff anxiously. “Okaaay.. you’ve complimented me more in the past three weeks than any other person has in my entire life… is that normal for you to do with the girls hooking up with you or am I the exception? It’s not a big deal.. It’s just that you -”

“I compliment you because you deserve to be complimented, sweetheart… but if it makes you uncomfortable then I can stop.” He cuts in, before he uncrosses his arms, palms gripping at the counter behind him. “As for the whole hooking up part… is that what you want this to be? ‘Cos we can do that, up to you Y/N, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give -”

“But why? Until three weeks ago I was under the impression that I wasn’t your ‘type’ or whatever so why now are you suddenly on board with taking whatever I give you?”

He laughs, and Y/N wants to cry. Why wasn’t he taking this seriously? Y/N is good at feeling her feelings, but has a hard time clearly expressing those feelings into words.

“Don’t laugh a-”

“Who told you what my type was? If it was ‘Samu or Omi I swear I’ll -”

“You did. You said I wasn’t your type.” He balks, eyes wide and riddled with trying to think about when he said it. “It was forever ago, but you said it. You came back from Germany, I picked you up and ‘Samu had called while I went to the restroom and well.. I overheard you say-”

“Yer an idiot, made an assumption before ya knew the whole truth, baby. I was talking about this photographer that I was kinda seein’ at the time. M’brother asked why if she’d get mad that I chose to see you fresh off the plane instead of her, said it didn’t matter because she wasn’t my type.”

Y/N wishes that the floor of his ridiculously priced apartment would swallow her whole, or that if she pushed the right buttons on his fancy microwave she’d be able to rewind life to five minutes ago when she decided to start this conversation. Frankly, she feels silly and like she shouldn’t say anything else - she knows that her words conveyed a little bit of insecurity that she’s sure Atsumu doesn’t want to have to deal with.

A beat passes before both Y/N and Atsumu open their mouths, but he’s able to get out the words first. “You really thought that you weren’t my type?” Fuck his smug little desbelieving smile.

“Don’t gimme that look - you’re usually spotted around the globe with gorgeous people… ‘s it really wrong of me to assume that I wasn’t your type? Besides,” she starts, arms crossed around her middle while Atsumu takes a tentative step to close the gap between them. “It's not that it matters now since, y’know I know that it's not true.. Just hurt my feelings at the time and well…”

“You were supposed to be the smart one between us, got the college degree ‘n everythin.” He teases, arms reaching to rest on her waist. “For someone so smart you really missed all the signs huh? Why do you think I stepped in every time some guy tried to talk t’ya? Why d’ya think that I tried to take up all your weekend time, don’t get me wrong I love spendin’ time with ya but also didn’t wanna see you goin out with any guys you’d met when I wasn’t around.” By this point he’s got her chin in his hand, ducking his head slightly to make her look at him fully. “And why the hell would I eat you out at every possible opportunity once I’ve been given the okay? Just because I get thrown it all the time by others doesn’t mean that I eat out every -”

“Alright, alright. You can shut up now. I get it, I’m dumb. I just didn’t think -”

“Oh you got tha’ right - didn’t think at all did ya?” She groans, throwing her head back. She’ll never be able to get the image of his smug face out of her head, never going to be able to live down how for once in their years long friendship Atsumu was smarter than her. All he can do though is laugh, pulling her face back down to his and giving her forehead a soft kiss, making her stomach erupt with flutters.

“If you tell anyone about this conversation, I swear to god Miya I’ll-”

“Shh it’s always gotta be a threat with you huh? Why can’t you just admit that you were stupid for once?”

“Not happening.”

“Not even if it means you’re stupidly in like with me”

“No, because I’m not stupidly in like with you… I just adore your stupid self more than I’d ever admit in front of anyone else.”

He laughs, bumping his nose against her with a laugh before kissing her softly. Everything is great, life is great. Y/N loves Atsumu and Atsumu loves her, and she isn’t some sad, movie cliché any longer. She’s got this gorgeous guy who practically worships her, so freely giving himself to her. He pulls away from kissing her for a second, taking a moment to appreciate the way that her eyes are closed happily.

“Just so y’know… I adore you too.” Kiss. “But you are never allowed to call me stupid again… from now on I’m the smart one in this relationship.”

A/N pt2: and so that’s it hehe. thank you sm for reading I hope you enjoyed it. any little comments you have in the tags would be nice to read or yeah. this is my side blog so like hgjdgsh if I respond to you it’s gonna be from my main haha

[destroyerof]

daisy sat absolutely still as she listened to the other woman speak, visibly wincing when she heard her name and how slow natasha said it, as though it sounded foreign in her mouth. for a moment, she saw a slip, a kink in her armour, a sign that something she said sort of got through to her. it was a cruel joke that the one person who promised never to forget her would end up being the one person who did. and although she hadn't dared to hope that her little speech would get through to natasha somehow, she still felt a little crack in her heart when it was clear that it didn't. at the very least, natasha deserved an explanation, so that was what she got. when it came to matters of the heart, daisy didn't give up, even when she should.

"i don't expect you to remember," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, but they could hear each other just fine in the quiet of the kitchen. "i'm not expecting a past version of you either. that's not why i'm here."

and now brought of the moment of introspection; when she recognized why she was here, why she'd chased natasha down even after the first initial rejection. in a way, it was a selfish reason. but the reality of it was that it was just... simple. she was fulfilling a promise. she was extending an olive branch, even if natasha didn't want it, to the person who had been her family so long ago. she was welcoming her back, if she wanted it, and seeking redemption for having failed her so long ago. she didn't need to be free of anything, but did she want to be? was there any part of her that longed to be her own person, outside of running by the rules of those who owned her? even if natasha never remembered her, she wanted to make sure that she knew she was still there for her in some capacity. that the past mattered, even if it was forgotten.

"i didn't come here for that," she started, standing up from her chair, not wanting to feel like she was going to fall down through the floor, wanting to ground herself a bit. "i'm not trying to push you, i'm sorry if it felt that way. i just... you may not remember, but i do. i just needed to see you again. i needed to tell you that i'm around, and i'll always be around, if you need someone. i... i don't know what my end goal was. i don't know what i expected. i just needed to see you."

she knew she was rambling, but how else would she be able to explain her mindset to natasha? she had already told her the truth, but she didn't want to scare her off entirely. "we said a lot of things to each other that night," she whispered, wondering if she could maybe job her memory a bit more. "i promised you that you'd be free someday, and that i'd live to make that happen. you called me family. we knew the chances were slim, but i've never forgotten. i've spent my life remembering. i've spent my life searching. you don't have to know me. you don't even have to like me. but i won't let go of that promise. you'd have to kill me first." poor choice of words, but regardless, they were out in the open now.

natasha may not remember her, but she was alive. that was more than could be said about most of the people that daisy had come to care about in her lifetime. she was always the person who wanted to protect those she loved and she was always the person who failed, over and over again. her heart bled and her sanity cracked with every passing day. a little hope went a long way with her. she knew she would likely only see natasha in passing glances from now on, but if she could preserve that, she would. it was more than she usually got. it was more than she ever thought she'd get again with her.

but then came the other issue. if she found her, surely shield could do the same. if she couldn't get through to natasha, couldn't jog her memories, she could, at the very least, shift her promise. make sure that she was protected in a different way. make sure that no one on shield found her and made her pay for her crimes. maybe that made her complicit in them. maybe she didn't give a fuck. "i'll step back and keep my distance. shield won't find you, i'll make sure of it."

there was nothing that could have prepared her for this conversation. she wasn't even quite sure what she felt in response to daisy's words. it wasn't indifference. it wasn't nothing. it wasn't recognition. she didn't know what she felt. and for someone that was so consistently in tune with everything that she felt ( or at least in tune enough to repress it ) , she didn't know how to feel with any of this. was she supposed to feel sad? longing? she didn't understand. it was something she didn't know how to place, and that thought alone confused her. maybe there was some part of her that knew the woman across from her. maybe there was a part of her that cared. and that terrified her.

she wasn't made to care for anyone.

natasha was a weapon. a tool that could manage even the toughest of missions when all else failed. it was how she'd gained her reputation. it was how people learned to quiver in fear at the sight of her if they knew who she was. people should be terrified. and yet this woman sat in the kitchen of this house and didn't even bother looking at her as if natasha wouldn't even harm a hair on her head. it was bold, she had to admit. " no one's hunting me? so this bullet wound on my arm from the last time i saw you was just for fun? " there was a hint of sarcasm there, natasha crossing her arms over her chest slightly as she looked at daisy. " shield. i've heard of them. another group to add to the list to avoid. " if the woman was leading her into a trap, natasha didn't believe it. she was sharing all of this openly. honestly. she didn't believe that daisy was lying, she couldn't hear it in her voice. it was honesty.

listening to her speak, natasha let her mind fill with the images that she was describing. family. it was so foreign to her. her parents were -- summertime with her parents. sunshine. laughter. somehow, all of those images felt fragmented now. were they real? was any of this real? what was real and what was imagined? natasha looked to daisy and saw the woman close her eyes as she continued to speak, and for a moment, natasha tried to imagine what she was speaking of. why she allowed herself to, she didn't know. this woman was someone she didn't know. was it a test? was this some sick test of her loyalty to the kgb? a test to see if she would run at the first question of her past?

her scar. all train of thought stopped at the mention of her scar, a hand instinctively going to touch the place on her abdomen where that very scar rested. it was always covered. she'd never allowed it to be seen, that much natasha was sure of. the only people that had seen it were a select few at the red room, and natasha was positive that daisy was not some secret spy to challenge her. not at all. a flash of pain moved through her in the spot that she touched and she took in a sharp breath. she knew she was letting too much show. this was something she didn't know how to process, not really. her training hadn't prepared her for this. natasha didn't speak for a long time. several long moments passed between them where natasha simply didn't say a single word. the silence felt like a crushing weight upon her chest, pushing her into the ground. maybe she'd never be able to crawl her way back up.

" it hurts sometimes, you know. " a beat. " the scar. " natasha looked up to look at daisy then, taking in a breath. " i never remembered how i got it. i made up a story in my mind of getting it during training. " it was an honest answer, and natasha wasn't sure that daisy needed an honest one, but she'd given it anyway. " i don't need to be free of anything, daisy. this is who i am. what i am. " she paused for a few moments, running a hand over her forehead. " i don't even know what you're apologizing for, i - " natasha took in a deep breath. she didn't even know how to move forward with this. seeing this woman crying, so clearly lost in the memories of some past that she believed were real... and maybe they were real. maybe they were. but to natasha, it was some distant world that she'd never existed in.

but she had existed in it. deep down, maybe she knew that. somehow.

falling into an open window, a grimace on her face. a pained noise escaping her as she'd failed to catch her fall into the room. a frigid breeze on her back. a chill in her bones she couldn't escape. broken promises in the night. " i don't know who you are, " natasha breathed out, but it almost sounded as if she was convincing herself. maybe she was. " daisy. " the word tasted weird on her tongue. " i don't know what you want me to say. do you want me to lie? to say i remember you? " she asked, looking over at her. " you make me feel like my head is ... " she paused. why was she sharing so much? why was she trying to level with her? maybe it was some part of her just trying to feel anything other than the nothingness she'd forced upon herself for so long.

" this is all i know, daisy. this life. this ... " she trailed off. " i can't remember what you want me to. if this is real, i can't ... " she hated this. she hated that there was some part of her that wanted to remember. if she didn't remember, maybe it was for a good reason. maybe it was to save herself from whatever she was trying to protect herself from. but she couldn't place her childhood. she couldn't place any past friendship. she only knew this. the hunt. but she'd had ... a family? with her? " daisy, i'm sorry. " what was she even apologizing for? she didn't even know her, not really. not entirely. " i don't know what you want me to say. whoever you think i am, i'm not. not anymore. so if you're hoping for some past version of me to push her way through the cracks, it won't happen. it can't. " i don't think there's a past version of me left.