#maybe I’ve just surrounded myself with the ND fans

[kitofawriter]

Reblog for sample size I guess?

[unioncolours]

A 2nd Majsasaurus Year!

Today, 22nd of September 2021, it’s been two years since I officially joined the magical world of fandom. 22.9.2019 I uploaded the first chapter to my fic Shadows and Sand, and the rest is history.

I did a deep dive into my first year as a fic writer and active member of fandom last year, when it was my first anniversary. You can read it here!

In that meta discussion about my membership of fandom, I presented it as if walking on clouds. I was so, so happy and talked during all the discussion about my happiness in fandom.

Since that post was written, my life and also my perception of the fandom I am part of has changed. Change isn’t always bad, as I really had a honeymoon phase with fandom over a year ago, and the low after hit hard.

But let’s see what I’ve been up to and what I’ve been writing! The following year provided much change and fun things! Please keep reading 💜⬇

The first fic I wrote since 22.9.2020 was a Sakura x Ino fic. I had for a longer while been interested in writing a woman-loves-woman ship, which I had never done before, and as a wlw-person myself the urge to explore that part led to Promise me this is just a kiss. The pairing itself was chosen on rather random, it had to be two women and I like Ino, so I chose the most popular Ino-wlw ship for this for convenience.

I really liked writing the fic and it was well-received! It was the first time I had written a fic that was entirely centred around exploring feelings and having sex.

After this I jumped directly onto the next idea that had been boiling inside me for a longer while. Up to this point, all I had written, except the wlw-fic, had been set in the Naruto canonverse and I was itching to try to work with a multi-chaptered modern au! The pairing was of course my beloved Shikadai x Inojin.

It was during the creation of this fic I began to struggle. This was a new genre, as this was romance only and all my other works had been action and fantasy based, except the sex fic of course. I was maybe over critical and stressed, which resulted in me having a hard time writing it. But I made it. Was the sky always this beautiful? ended up being 35k long, and in hindsight, I freaking love, love, love how it turned out in the end and what it represented. I am very proud of this fic.

I “upgraded” as a fan by the end of October when I bought myself a digital drawing tablet. I began drawing fanart of Shikadai and Inojin and preferably them two together, haha! I still draw a few days a month and find it extremely fun as a side hobby beside the writing.

We are now in November 2020. By this time, I had completely finished my zine fic, Under the Scorching Sun, which I had written during September and October, for the Shikatema zine I was kindly accepted to. I was proud of what I had created and was eager for the rest of the contributors to wrap up theirs, so we’d have a wonderful zine for sale in 2021. It was lovely to write ShikaTema again. As the zine fic was about to be released in months from when I had at first finished it, I wanted of course to write something fans and friends could immediately take part of on the internet. I had hyped myself up to a state where I wanted to write a third and final story in my series To love and never let go, my epic series about Shikadai and Inojin.

Now, I should maybe have waited another month, but I was worried the readers would give up on me if I didn’t write it right away. In December, I began writing To find hope in the Universe, with my usual speed and love for the art.

What I by then didn’t realise or even recognise was that I was very slowly turning burned out. I ignored all the signs.

In December I wrote simultaneously as Hope in the Universe a fic that was part of the Shikatema server’s Secret Santa event. The fic’s name was The Ghost Stories of our Hearts, and it was ShikaTema, as the event’s name suggests. It was fun to write and despite the final big fic, Hope in the Universe, pressing down on me, I finished The Ghost Stories of our Hearts and was very happy with the result. Sadly, at this point the burnout began taking control over me, and I never managed to reply to the comments.

The 15th of January, I began uploading To find hope in the Universe. It was a lovely experience, even if it was tainted by negative feelings coming from my decreasing happiness and the fact that it didn’t do as well as To dance above the Stars, the second fic in the series. To deal with two very contradiction emotions, loving my work, the characters, how I have painted an entire world around the characters and how I knew some people honestly loved my hard work, and then the negative feelings coming from not feeling good enough and depressed, was a difficult thing to navigate and still is when I think back to that time. It didn’t help that during the process of uploading the fic I went through grief, and I chose distraction as my coping method. I kept writing and working, the only thing I ever knew.

Our pre-order of the Shikatema zine was in full motion by this time and it was a nerve-wracking time! Mostly because of excitement but also worry. I’m super happy for my friends who were part of the zine, with whom I could share all the excitement and nervousness with. The zine ended up making good sales, which made me happy among the uploading of the long fic.

To find hope in the Universe was completed 31st of March 2021. When I uploaded the final chapter, I felt nothing. It was so weird, so spooky, to have finished a long fic and a series on top of that and not feel anything. But deep down, beneath the layer of depression, I felt great pride.

That was the emotion that broke free once the burnout left me. Pride.

I had created this empire of Shikajin, a whole alternative timeline, an alternative canon from my own head and to this day, that is my internet legacy. I love Trial of the Heart, which I wrote in 2020, but if I have to choose between ToH and this series, I will choose To love and never let go in a heartbeat.

So, even if it felt depressing and hopeless in the moment, I look now back with pride and happiness. Never forget that. Never forget that I made that.

April was a curious time. I swore to not write anything, because I had by now recognised that I was burned out and needed to rest, yet managed to scrape together three smaller fics.

The first one was another wlw-smut fic, TemaSaku this time called Another Light. I wanted to explore that part once again. I wrote it in canonverse and honestly think the fic ended up extremely nice. Perfect amount of feels and sex. It didn’t feel hard to write at all, because the setting, characters and emotions were so different from the fics I had written the last five months.

Now more interesting things lay on the horizon! A new zine, the Ino-Shika-Cho zine called Beyond a Bond had an interest check during the spring, and later the contributor application. I urged in the interest check to please give us the next gen kids, Shikadai, Inojin and Chocho – my kids and babies, and when it turned out they were going to feature, I had to apply as a writer. For this application I wrote a one shot, called It’s just hair, and I loved this spunky little story featuring the best babies that I created.

I also edited one of my tumblr fics, And then I kissed him, into a longer, better version that I later in May uploaded onto AO3. It was once again a Shikajin, a sequel of Trial of the Heart, and it was a fun little project.

Now May came and I sent in the application for the zine early, which I now am relieved I did. I am happy that I did the work for the application in April instead of May, because in May I had a few breakdowns and another grieving period, which lead to complete creative paralysis. I didn’t write a single word during May, only uploaded the two one shots I had prepared in April.

What I did do in May was to read through the Shikatema zine I had contributed to! It arrived in the mail! I was so nervous; my whole body was shaking when I opened the package right outside the post office. The zine now resides on the parade place in my little zine shrine in the bookshelf. Thank you to the mods who made this a reality!

To my great happiness my zine adventures continued as I was accepted to the Ino-Shika-Cho zine as a writer and was assigned to write my favourite characters. I felt so relieved and overjoyed, mind blown by the sheer talent among the contributors.

On the other fandom front, June didn’t continue any brighter, with stress and mental pain still having a strong grip around me, despite the very happy news that I am still so grateful for. I wrote a Yamanaka family fic which to this day hasn’t seen the light of AO3, because of negative emotions surrounding it. I turned into a complete wreck compared to me in June 2020. In June 2020 I was flourishing, I loved what I did, I loved fandom and I loved the friends I had made through Discord servers. Now I could find myself crying my eyes out over a wip not going the way I wished it would. What had happened to Bex 2021?

I was so incredibly frustrated with myself, groaning in defeat when my hands just couldn’t write. I managed to push through 6k of what I called my “emo au” – more of that later – and finish the Yamanaka fic which is still buried, and on top of that I had the zine and another fandom event, The Naruto Photo Album, to create content for. Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I find happiness in something that once was my reason for happiness?

In the end, I managed to write 15k in June. My former monthly word count used to be 30k. One could think this would turn into the end of my fic writing career, or the beginning of a longer hiatus, but I am stubborn and want to meet the expectations of the people who love my content, so I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to try. I wanted to be whoever I was before.

Funnily enough, the healing came in the shape of the most self-indulgent fic I have ever, ever written, a fic I like possessed began writing July the 1st 2021. It was nothing less than a freaking fairy tale AU, namely a Shikadai x Inojin Peter Pan AU. I can hear you laugh at the silliness of it, but this whimsical AU gave me back my love for writing. I hyper-fixated on this story quite a bit and stopped writing on everything else, something I almost never do.

Only happy boys fly ended up being 21 000 words long! I knew it was a niched story, and true to my guesses, the story has to this day very low stats. Today, two months after it was published, it has just above 100 hits and 10 kudos, so for all I know, only ten people read and liked it. I try to not care too much, since I love the story and in some way, that story saved me from going batshit insane over my emotions about writing.

At this point I had begun writing my fic from the Ino-Shika-Cho zine, finding joy in silly scenes with my favourite characters and trying to heal. The writing process was frustratingly slow, but one word at a time I got forward and as of today, the draft is done. The pre-orders are in December. At the side of the zine fic I wrote a short fluffy Shikajin story, CLEAR, a story with almost no plot, because I knew how much self-indulgence could help me.

And then, I finally began writing for real on my emo au, A gang of fallen stars, which has the first few chapters up right now! I have for the first time in six months a longer fic (if we don’t count the Peter Pan story) and it feels… good. This fic is once again a modern au, but in darker tones than my other modern au from November 2020. I honestly like what I have so far, even if I during June and July almost planned to never finish it. I am so relieved I managed to begin the upload. In September the Photo Album was released and I could show my two fics I wrote for it.

It sounds like this year has been nothing but misery, and at times it felt like it. However, there are a few fandom friends who brought light to my life when I couldn’t see it. The first ones to mention are of course my partners in crime, @notquitejiraiya and @thespookymoth. Together we created a server dedicated to Ino-Shika-Cho during the spring and it has been tons of fun with the members there! Thank you two for listening to me and for being my friends during 2021.

I also have to mention Soverel, who carefully begun taking contact through comments and likes on my twitter, and later through direct messages, and it has been a fun ride ever since. We’ve had lovely discussions which are very dear to me and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for being you and for drawing so many wonderful artworks you’ve shared with me. Haha, and for making me play Genshin Impact, even though I do it like twice a month!

Another person who has made my days so much brighter is @sugarriene. Thank you for sending me that one dm that made us chat regularly, thank you for popping up and sharing panels and your wonderful drawings with me, and for vibing head canons with me. You are a lovely person, and you make me happy.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to @yoboseyokyu for listening to me when I had to yell into the void and for making me happy with your cute posts on both twitter and tumblr.

Since September 2020, I’ve written around 195 000 words and drawn close to 35 illustrations, most of them of Shikadai and Inojin. Almost 200 000 words of Majsasaurus. I’ve created a Discord server and I’ve been part of two zines as a writer, plus a free PDF-project.

It has been a wild year. A year filled with passion for my favourite characters and ship, with the excitement that came with being part of projects and hyping them. It was a year where I learned to draw digitally, and heck what fun it was.

This also a year where I learned people can be mean to me because of what I ship and that fandom friends won’t necessarily always stay to be your friend anymore and how much it can hurt. I also learned what my limits are, and what punishment I get if I don’t listen to my own mind and rest when I have to.

It was a year, guys.

Now, onto the third Majsasaurus Year. Cheers!

And those of you, who supported me when I needed it – thank you and I love you.

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x6 Vitamin D

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x6 Vitamin D Mr. Schue is worried cause the Glee club is being lazy and complacent. First time and still true until Sue came along to help the club.

Mmmmkay. And now Mercedes starts dressing kinda funky. Oh goody. :/

Ugh. Listen, I have adored Matthew Morrison since I saw him in Hairspray 10 years ago, but it’s still not at all appealing when he tries to lick that mustard off his own chin.

“I will hold my tongue no further.”

”You have to remember something: we’re dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It’s like mother’s milk to them. Without it, their bones won’t grow properly.”

“Ellen, that blouse is just insane.”

”I don’t understand how lightening is in competition with an above ground swimming pool”

BOYS V. GIRLS FOR THE FIRST TIME! <3

“Okay, split up: guys on the right side, girls on the left side…Kurt” *gestures for him to join the boys, not the girls* Kurt looks soooo pissed. And is such a baby-faced nugget!

A Mash-Up was just defined and used for the first time.

”We’re planning on smacking them down like the hand of God” yaaaaay, Sue’s Journal entries! I miss those. Hey, did she ever get that hovercraft she was working towards?

”Let me be frank: your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn’t belong to you.”

”I’ve always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness. Me? Never wanted kids. Don’t have the time, don’t have the uterus.” #oops

“I think you should both pack up and move out of the district. Unless you wanna lose your man to a mentally ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby”

the Matthew Morrison mustard licking is even less appealing in slow motion. Ew.

Terri just wiped Emma’s mug off with her own spit. Even if you didn’t have OCD, that is not right.

“But you’re not a nurse. You don’t have any training…” “Oh please, Will – it’s a public school.”

Wait…Mr. Schue seems to be teaching music theory? WTF? Has this happened before? Since?

“She freaks me out in a Swim Fan kinda way”

“But her body’s smokin’…if you’re not into boobs” Finn re: Rachel

I don’t think I ever caught this before – Finn is rubbing BioFreeze on his legs and accidentally scratches near his eye…and you can see the effect set in and then he spazzes out. Ha! #BlessFinnsHeart

“My mom says I’m stretched too thin so I gave up homework but that didn’t help” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Puck, with respect, you’re more helpful when you don’t contribute”

“Where’s Quinn?” “Probably down at the mall looking for elastic waistbands”

“Let’s do the number and then build a house for Habitat for Humanity” oh, Finn on ‘vitamin d’. He has the mind of a child. Especially during this performance. Holy crap!

“No one at Glee is gonna judge you.” Oh, that will change Rachel.

Hahahaha, Quinn drew pornographic pictures of Rachel on the bathroom walls. I miss when Quinn hated Rachel. Just a little bit. Cause she did it so well and right now it would please my soul to see some of that.

Poor Howard Bamboo is so terrified of Terri and just pitiful. I just want to hug him and tell him to stand up to her! :(

“I see em’ together all the time – laughing, talking…all the stuff she never does with me”

Terri’s office looks like it’s the same as Emma’s…

“I am not built to work 5 days a week”

“I’ve been thinkin’ maybe that if you and I started seein’ each other on the side it might kinda cancel their thing out”

“She doesn’t like to be touched…by me.”

“Look at the two of us. You pregnant and me with psoriasus and one testicle that won’t descend.”

“Though I’ve been grouped with the boys, my allegiance still remains with you ladies. They declined my offer to do their hair in cornrows and all my artistic decisions have been derioted as ‘too costly’ because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers.”

Rachel’s goal is a Grammy, not a Tony. #oops

smack-talking Finn is a giant douche. Ugh.

“You being here is not good for our marriage.” “Spending time together is not good for our marriage?” She has a point…

“A lot of ants on the sidewalk today.” *long uncomfortable silence* “Pretty late in the season for that.”

oh, Ken proposing. I hated you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

“Look, Emma, I know our relationship hasn’t been perfect. You won’t ride in my car. I can’t touch you above the wrist. Remember you cried for an hour that one time my elbow accidentally brushed by your breast? But I think about you all day long. I kiss that picture of us at the State Fair every night before I go to sleep. Emma Pillsbury, this is not an engagement ring – no, I mean it is, but it’s more than that. It’s a promise. Look, Emma, I know you have this thing about being clean. Now I can’t promise to pick up my underwear or squeegee the shower door, but I can promise to keep your life clean of sadness and loneliness and any other dark clouds that might float into it. It’s cubic zirconia. I know how effected you were by Blood Diamond.”

“Thankyousomuch,itreallyisapleasure.Whiletheboyschoseaselectionofsongsthatcastaneyeinwardontheirresponsiblelifechoicesandsexualhungeroftoday’smodernteens,wehavechosenaselectionofsongsthatspeakstothenationasawholeduringthesetroublingtimesfilledwitheconomicuncertaintyandunbridledsocialwoebecauseifthere’stwothingsAmericaneedsrightnow,thatissunshineandoptimism.” *awkward pause and Rachel finally breathes* “Also angels.” OMG. Maybe my favorite Rachel Berry moment ever.

Also, this was one of my fave musical moments (songs, singers, choreography) of all of Season One. Heather Morris is gangsta on this, dancing like she’s on crack. OMG. I love it. Every one of these girls is such a great dancer.

“Can you um…can you think of any other options I might have?” “Is that a reason to marry someone?” “That’s not what I’m asking.” See, Glee still does this – these weird conversations that are clearly about something else, but never really get finished and things are left in limbo but as if the akward moment didn’t happen, so I think I’m losing my mind when I look for the continuity….ugh. Headache. What just happened?

“You have no chance with my husband. Do I make myself clear? You might think there’s some kind of competition going on with you and I, but that’s like saying that a nail is competing with a hammer.”

“Do yourself a favor, honey. Marry Ken Tanaka. Oh sure, he’s dumb like sand, and his fondue pot of nationalities is gonna open your kids up to a host of genetic diseases…but he’s kind, and he’s generous. And he’s available.” I don’t like Terri but….truth.com right there.

“I need to talk to you, about the baby” “Is everything ok? You’re not having it right now, are you?” What?! No! Aren’t you supposed to be a nurse?”

“You want money from me?” “It’s gonna be your baby.” “Which means I’m gonna be paying the bills for 18 years – I think you can handle 9 months” Oh Terri.

Aw. My heart still breaks for Emma during this scene where she basically accepts Ken’s proposal and asks for a secret marriage. And says she doesn’t wanna spend the rest of her life alone. Gah – so sad! :(

“I don’t even remember performing.”

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day. For calling you contemptable and deplorable” “Ah, that’s ok. I didn’t even know what those words meant.” #BlessFinnsHeart

“My goals are too selfish.” Rachel. Why did you forget that lesson?

Howard Bamboo got arrested on suspicion of running a meth lab. Ha!

“You are oblivious to consequences” A running theme of this show.

oh Glee. Again with the weird situations…neither Will nor Emma even preTENded to be happy about her marrying Ken when she told him. How does neither of them address it? What just happened?

I remember the first time I saw this episode and I loved that Rachel Berry had changed to being a team player and making her goal about winning sectionals with the team. That didn’t last long. SOLOS: Finn (1), Artie (1), Rachel (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 2nd time

[mikeduffy123-blog]

Personal Narative

                                           Complicated Decisions

           In high school, waking up every day and heading off to school really wasn’t a difficult task for me, and it was something I honestly didn’t mind. But I can remember this one morning last year, during my senior year, I really didn’t want to go to school. I hear my alarm go off, which is the same song that I woke up to every morning that year. Now awake, I wrap myself up in my warm, fuzzy blanket, and just stare up at my spinning ceiling fan on the ceiling. I can hear the birds chirping outside through my windows, and see the sun peaking its way through my black-out curtains. I slowly roll over and put my head into my pillow, and just lay there not ready to get up and get ready for school. Some mornings I would do this if I was really tired or stayed up late doing homework the night before, but this wasn’t one of those mornings. This was one of the only days my senior year I had dreaded going to.

           For me, school has always come fairly easy to me, and I really never struggled with it much. Whether it was a spelling test in 2nd grade, a science or reading test in middle school, or a history or math test in high school, I would typically get a pretty exceptional grade on whatever it was. Throughout middle school and all the way through high school I was always on honor roll or high honor roll. Now I’m really not one to brag, but I guess you could say I am a pretty good student. I can’t really take full credit, because I think my parents are the reason I’ve become the student I am today. They have always pushed me to work my hardest, do exceptional in school, and strive for the best. But I do like to give myself credit for the achievements I made in high school, because the only help with homework and studying I could get from my parents was math, only because my mom is a math teacher.

           All of this hard work I had been putting in through my years in school were leading up to another step of my life, which was college. As a junior in high school, I really didn’t know much about colleges and all I really knew about college was the craziness that I saw on Instagram pages. As a 17-year-old, I knew I had and wanted to continue my education after high school, but I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. After talking with my guidance counselor, I was really starting to want to go away for college, possibly somewhere down south. I was always looking online at the different schools and checking out different degree programs I could pursue. After gaining interest in the idea of going away for college, I was presented another option for school. Because I was in the top 15% of my class at the end of my junior year I was presented with the NJ Stars grant, which would pay for my tuition for an Associate’s Degree at Sussex County Community College.

           When I was presented this opportunity, my first reaction was absolutely not, I’m not going to a community college, while at the same time my parents were super excited for me. At first, I was so turned off by this idea due to two reasons, one being I had my mind set on going away for school, and the other being the stigma that surrounds community college. What I mean by the stigma surrounding community colleges is the way that a lot of people see students that go to a community college and how they think of the education at a community college. A lot of people out there think that if you go to a community college you’re a failure, you’re not smart enough to get into a four-year school, and that you just can’t handle the difficulty of four-year schools. I’ve also heard a lot of people saying that if you go to community college, you won’t make it as far in life or get a job as good as someone who attended a four-year college. And in addition to that, the overall stigma around community colleges is that you’re just a “loser” and inferior to your peers who go to a four-year college.

           My parents were really upset that I wasn’t interested in this opportunity of getting free tuition for two years, and really started persuading me. They would tell me about all the money I would be saving, how it’s not an inferior education at a community college, and how it didn’t even matter where I got my associate’s degree from because I could get my Bachelor’s Degree at the college of my choice. And my only arguments to this was that I would miss the “real college experience”, and that it was embarrassing to go to a community college. Which in all honesty, I had believed fully until I actually started classes at community. After lots of discussions with my parents, other students, and my guidance counselor, I had decided that I would suck it up and go to SCCC for two years, then transfer to a four-year school. I wasn’t going to let this stigma get to me and stop me from making a smart decision for my future life.

           This was probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in my lifetime, and it wasn’t the end of my problems after I made this decision. Throughout my senior year all my friends and peers were applying to all different colleges, getting accepted to their colleges of choice, and sharing these acceptances. And there I was “just” going to the local community college, which anybody could get into. This was really annoying at first and always had me feeling embarrassed. One of the toughest times about this was during my senior year, it was the day everyone wore their college t-shirts. We had been given a date that this day would take place, and I had been dreading it for a while knowing everybody would get to show off their prestigious colleges, while I had nothing to show off. The morning of this day I woke up and just didn’t want to get up or go to school. I had been overthinking things way too much, and was worried about being embarrassed for nothing. After lying in bed for an excessive amount of time, I eventually got the courage to get up and head to school. When I arrived, everybody was wearing their various college-themed t-shirts and hoodies, but throughout the day no one really made a big deal about it or criticized me for going to community college.

           After this day it had finally hit me, it really didn’t matter that I was going to Community College for two years. This wasn’t something I should be upset about or embraced about, but something I should be glad about. I was given the opportunity to go to school for free for two years, which could have been like $50,000 if I went away to another school. And once I actually started class at the community college, I was even more relieved about going there. But this didn’t come as soon as I started taking classes there. The first day, walking into my first class I was thinking “What did I get myself in to? Why am I going here?” but those thoughts were quickly changed. And at first, especially my first three classes I had on the first day of school, I was full of regret and just upset about the decision I had made, but I kept thinking about it and trying to put it into a better perspective. Before I could put my situation in a better perspective, I just kept saying to myself that I was at a bad school, my classes were stupid, and that maybe in fact I was going to a school for failures. But it really didn’t take long before I was thinking “Wow this really isn’t that bad of a school and the people who go here really aren’t failures”.  

           Reality finally hit me, and I was now aware of this beneficial and smart opportunity I was taking. Now all of this decision-making had caused quite the stress on me, and was something I thought about all the time for a good amount of time, but it was also an amazing life lesson. After all of the stuff that I went through, I was able to take a few good life lessons out of it. The first thing I learned was that you should not worry about what other people think about you. I was so worried about what people might think about me for going to SCCC, that the idea of saving $50,000 was going right over my head. When you begin to worry about what other people think about you, then that is when you forget about what’s best for you. Another lesson that I learned from this experience was that sometimes you have to make sacrifices, in order to give your future-self a great potential. By sacrificing going away for two years, I am able to save myself and my parents a boat-load of money, and now hopefully my student loan debt will be easier to get payed off in a timely manner. One more lesson that I learned from choosing to go to community college is that community college really isn’t as bad as people make it seem, and the education you are given there is actually pretty outstanding. Having to choose whether I was going to go to go to a four-year school or community college was probably the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but having to make this decision, and ultimately choosing to go to community college, taught me a lot about myself and life itself.

[rosedalemike]

“The Mood” Blog #9 - Farewell, Rosedale...It is time.

    This is a really tough one for me and I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'll be blunt and say that I have been finding more than ever that it is in the best interest of my musical journey (and well being) to put Rosedale to rest and start a new chapter.

      Rosedale has meant everything to me for almost 15 years now. I've devoted the majority of my time, money, attention, and energy to Rosedale. And I don't regret any of it. I've learned so much more than I could have ever imagined about music and life and saw more of the world than most people get to see in a lifetime. I managed to actually grow Rosedale into a small business and it has made music my full time occupation. When I look at it that way, Rosedale screams success!     

     Touring has become a big part of Rosedale's agenda. Building a memorable live show, getting merch graphics and orders ready, booking shows, traveling to them, managing an intense amount of gear/production- and as I explain in my prior blogs - I don't really mind doing all the dirty work. I enjoy the challenge and it is all worth it for those magical moments where I get to see lives being changed/inspired. I love meeting fans and bands and I love that Rosedale has often been labeled a "musician's band". It's no surprise. I almost have no personal life because - for better or for worse - I love how much my work doesn't feel like work. So, evidently, I tend to write a lot of songs about the grind; the ups/downs, the pride/doubt, the dreams/memories. So that's how I'd like this farewell announcement to go. (Though, I'd like to think I'm a better songwriter than blogger.)

     Before I touch on a few of the many reasons, I'd like to clarify that this is not a re-brand/name change, nor is this me quitting music. And I don't really wanna talk about what musical ideas I have for the future just yet. There are many options that I need to figure out for myself. But I am finally 100% positive that none of them will be under the name Rosedale. Rosedale will end as Rosedale and I want this announcement to be about Rosedale. The Rosedale songs/releases will rest as Rosedale songs after this tour. They had their time and proudly resonated throughout many amazing places/ears.

     I want everyone to know sooner rather than later (even though the next chapter is nowhere near ready) because it is only fair. If you were thinking that you'll just catch this new Rosedale show the next time it rolls through town I wanna let you know there won't be a next time. And if you are over Rosedale already, chances are you haven't read this far anyway.

      I understand if this is upsetting to some. Believe me, it’s hard to just call it a day like this almost as much as it feels absolutely necessary. So before you set your Rosedale apparel a-flame and make that tattoo removal appointment, hear me out: 

Reason 1: The Unoriginal Name

     As jaded and cynical as I may sometimes come across about the ever changing music industry, one of the new musts that I can definitely understand and respect is that being unique/original is crucial. The answer to a lot of musician's uncontrollable struggles is 'over saturation'. I hear it everywhere I go. And from the seminars and conferences I've spent my time attending/downloading over the years; having an original, easily searchable name is the first step to growing your brand. (Brand; If you've been reading these blogs, you know how much I had that word.) But, ultimately, the name is the brand.      

     And not only is there over 5 other Rosedale's on Spotify, the origin of name Rosedale is nothing original; Four friends walked down a street ‘ROSEDALE AVE.’ that leads to the music store- thought it sounded cooler than their current band name. Sure, to put it that way is a total slap in the face to the legacy that Rosedale became. But it is no wonder that here I am at a stand still, personally messaging 'fans' to come to their local venue/dive bar etc. to be reminded that Rosedale is unique/original/interesting/so much more (and all the other nice things I hear from people after the set).

      I had the oportunity to go out for a long breakfast with my biggest hero the other day while I was home. He was showing me, first hand, the struggle someone not-so-technically-savvy might have finding my music on Spotify. He stoically said "you should change the name."  I knew it was a burden for a while now and that it would be a big headache to commit to, but the way he said it made me realize it was no big deal and it was definitely time. (Biggest hero = my dad)

Reason #2: What even is Rosedale even???

     Similar to Reason #1, a confusing brand is not a good brand. Side note; none of these reasons are things I just suddenly realized. They've actually been worsening burdens over the last four years. The truth is, back in November 2013 (when I was finalizing demos/new songs for Self-Titled and Again) we (as in me and my management at the time along with other industry friends) were discussing a name change/rebrand. Mostly because the infamous history of Rosedale was a bit of a confusing thing, (especially locally) and still is! 

'Is it a band? Is it just Mike? Why is it just Mike? Is Mike's last name Rosedale? Maybe his middle name is Rosedale? What happened to the members from Get Going? Is that even Mike singing on the Past Times EP/You'll Count to Ten??'

    We all felt a name change was necessary. But as we'd each listen to the new songs/demos separately on our drives home from the studio and try to brainstorm the perfect name, we couldn't help but realize that most of these songs were written about the history of Rosedale. One recurring idea was; change the name but call the album (/EP or whatever) 'ROSEDALE'.

      In the end we just kind of decided to announce/shop these new songs as a "Re-Launch" of Rosedale. New logo, new songs, new sound, new line-up, new album; same name. The underground Rosedale following seemed excited, especially with the out-of-left-field, tongue and cheek T-Swift love song being the first single out the gate. But it still left a lot of question marks to some of the new followers we were picking up at Warped Tour etc. (especially because I had these awesome, well adversed fill-in/temp members building the brand).       Slowly I was realizing that I was creating a clearer understanding, better response, respect from the venues (including Warped Tour), and much better merch sales from delivering my inevitable one-man show. But, nevertheless, still a confusing topic for even some of my most supportive fans. I am even confused - to this day - as to why my perfect fill-in members (from my hometown, to Virginia, to Indiana, to West Virginia) were not improving results/sales. But then again, we live in quite the different age for Rock N' Roll/technology.

Reason 3: Counter-Productive Shows

    This one is extremely tough to explain. Especially to my supporters. So really try to level with me on this one. I tour a lot and I love it but If you read blog #5 - Lonliness/Perception you'll get an in depth insight on the kind of sheepishness I encounter in my travels. It's a natural process; people feed off the reaction of others. I've played some mediocre/catastrophic sets to big crowds (blew out my voice in Toronto to a crowd of 200+ , laptop crashed twice in Columbus to a sold out crowd at A&R, been booted off stage/muted after two songs opening to Eve 6's supportive fans in Albuquerque) and got a way better reaction/sales/follows/likes/LIVES-CHANGED than any flawless/powerful performance to an intimate crowd of 5-15 confused attendees. The reality is, the more common is the latter. And what’s worse is the next time I invite those confused attendees out to a show; 98% of them will give me the "I'll see what I can do" which 99% of the time means "I've got better things to do".     Don't get me wrong, I'm aware people suck and I rock. And I'm still smiling up there on stage while I crush a feel-good set to 10 yawning, doubtful, distant sheep. And to the 2% of people who aren't yawning as their lives are being positively inspired; I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

     But when I start the van and drive to the next city I can't help but realize that the 98% of the shallow people that I'm not reaching (due to the empty surroundings) I'm doing myself, Rosedale, and the newly inspired a dis-service by continuing to settle for less; to play shows to crowds of under 20. That’s why I tried that Show4me.com mcgiver with the Again EP release tour. I wanted to give back to supporters and confirm that there would be at least a small crowd committed to coming out.

      If you're reading this and thinking 'who cares, keep playing for fun!' - my response is; try telling that to the venues/promoters that are giving Rosedale a home to grow my business with theirs. Luckily, many of them have been supportive/forgiving towards my sad numbers, but there are definitely some promoters/venues that 'will have to pass' on my follow-up tours through. Rosedale has always been more than a hobby to me. It is my life and my business. And any artist who is too lazy to handle the business side of things just doesn't love music as much as they think (or as much as they'd like you to believe). I'll admit, I could definitely still improve on the business side of my little DIY empire here. So let's call that the general consensus of this reason...and we can’t keep ignoring the unsearchable name conundrum.

Reason 4: No room for new/old songs

      (This one can easily be argued with many other relik bands as examples...but-) I'm STILL playing 30 minute sets (usually)... yet I have over 200 minutes of released Rosedale material! I've had to become that stage hog that pushes my 30 minute slot to 35/40 minutes just to play 20% of Rosedale's released material, just to give my few attendees almost all that they came to see. (Luckily, most of these venues' staff have also been super forgiving/supportive of this no-no).

      Some people wanna hear oldies, some people wanna hear new songs that I haven't even added to the set yet (because I don't have enough stage time anyway). And in most cities I'm not in a position to headline/play last because everyone but the few Rosedaliens will just leave after their friend's set. I've seen it too many times and I still "Turn whiter than a song in C" when it happens. Will Rosedale ever get to a headlining status World Wide? I still believe it's possible. But not if I keep spinning the tires against all these roadblocks. It is very obvious I need to take a different route to get there. So maybe Rosedale will come back down the road...but that is no longer up to me. And for the time being, it's time to move on to the next chapter. 

Reason #5: Hit Reset

      You ever work so hard on something (maybe like a school project or a video game or recipe) then realize you have to start over? Or maybe your computer crashed or the ingredients spoiled without you realizing it. That used to happen to me a lot and still does. But it bothers me less each time.

      Because then, as you're starting the process all over, you have that comforting Epiphany of improvement; 'dang, this draft is way better'. You realize that first run was a practice round and now you've got this Ol' Gunner experience to do things right and avoid the mistakes.

     I've always felt that way going into each Rosedale album/EP. After Past Times it was all about using the right mics and amps to get that polished mix for Get Going. Then for Real it was all about not over-editing and leaving in the string noise and breaths...even footsteps. Then with Self-Titled and Again I dug a lot deeper into lyrics / my personal story and really went all out with dynamics using orchestration of infinite instruments. A lot of those sessions I had to re-play/sing the songs. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by dumb technological luck. But it always came out better the next time because repetition is the father of learning.

     Anyway, you get the obvious point. But I think it is the most important one. Also, I should mention; the bigger the reset, the bigger the results. Ending Rosedale and starting something entirely fresh would be the biggest reset I've ever done. It might take a while, but if I go at it with the work ethic I've driven into Rosedale, the step-up is gonna be huge! We're talking over half my life - BOOM - RESET! Clear brand! Searchable! Productive strategizing/shows!     Working with a blank pallet could be a great advantage. I'm still the same person/artist but I have a chance to create content under a fresh....brand...damnit. Again, I don't know exactly what that brand is quite yet, but I do know for sure that it will be better and stronger than Rosedale ever was. 

    So again, don't worry, my fellow Rosedaliens (& don’t get excited, haters), I'm not throwing in the towel and I'm definitely not slowing down. I'm just being honest with everyone and keeping you in the loop. This is the victory lap. I was gonna buckle down and work on new tracks after this run anyway but I'm letting you know asap that Rosedale (and these songs) are retiring. If you were thinking about taking a trip this summer to see one last final Rosedale show, you should definitely do it. I'm out here still giving it 110% every show to make everyone realize that "the really tall Canadian with way too much gear" is really on to something. Even if he ditches the overly popular, unsearchable, confusing name.

     Though this is yet another very long blog, this announcement could have easily been 10 times longer. There are hundreds of other reasons/things I meant to say but I just kinda let slip my mind or, evidently, they didn't seem nearly as important/relevant. (Like the Chicago horror rock band "The Rosedales", who showed up to our very first Chicago show in 2009 with a Cease and Desist letter for trademark infringement and contacted all the venues on that first tour to threaten all profits...they still threaten me from time-to-time...)

     Probably not the best place for this but: Rosedale’s songs and CDs and merch will still be available online. I'm just not sure if I'll be reprinting anymore hardcopies (definitely not Past Times as is as I don't even have the art file). Likely not reprinting merch and there isn't all that much left. So I'll try to keep the merch store as up-to-date on sizes as I can on the rest of this final Rosedale tour. But if you'd like to invest in Rosedale stock (and help clean out my van/garage) CDs are the way to go. I'll even sign them on request and maybe they'll be worth something one day.

     I'm still gonna be writing weekly tour/music/life blogs and I'll likely be starting that podcast/YouTube show I was babbling about when I introduced this blog in Blog #1 as a first step into the new chapter.

     It'll be interesting to see how this announcement plays out amongst the many social-media-only Rosedale followers and the true Rosedaliens. To the true Rosedaliens; I can't thank you enough for hanging in there and supporting me through thick and thin. Even if you just recently found out about Rosedale, and are just now enjoying/sharing/supporting my art, I really do appreciate you like family. I highly encourage you to come experience this victory lap and join me for the next chapter. Know that this is not goodbye. This is see you later in a different fashion. Hopefully sooner than later, though future timelines are still all up in the air.

     The only thing I'm sure of at this point is that this is the last Rosedale run and I'm gonna go 110% for every day of it. (Maybe even 120% now... I'm really gonna miss playing these songs!!!) Hope to see familiar faces as well as some of the mystery faces. Thanks again, everyone <3 xoxo

FINAL DATES: 5/30 - Boise, ID @ Shredder

5/31 - Vancouver, BC @ The Roxy

6/1 - Everett, WA @ Black Lab Gallery

6/2 - Seattle, WA @ Kate's Pub (acoustic)

6/5 - Tacoma, WA @ Real Art Tacoma

6/6 - Portland, OR @ TBA

6/7 - Portland, OR @ White Owl Social Club

6/8 - Grants Pass, OR @ The Sound Lounge

6/9 - Klamath Falls, OR @ The Pikey

6/10 - Phoenix, OR @ The Phoenix Clubhouse

6/13 - Sacramento, CA @ Cafe Colonial

6/14 - Cupertino, CA @ Homestead Bowl & Xbar

6/15 - Bakersfield, CA @ Sandrini's

6/16 - Las Vegas, NV @ Evel Pie

6/20 - Pomona, CA @ The Legacy Room

6/23 - San Diego, CA @ Soma

6/26 - Phoenix, AZ @ TBA

6/27 - Tucson, AZ @ TBA

6/28 - Las Cruces, NM @ TBA

6/29 - El Paso, TX @ Neon Rose

6/30 - San Angelo, TX @ The Deadhorse

7/4 - Austin, TX @ Mohawk

7/5 - Houston, TX @ Acadia

7/6 - Laffayette, LA @ TBA

7/7 - New Orleans, LA @ TBA

7/8 - Pensacola, LA @ Handlebar

7/12 - Santa Rosa Beach, FL @ Grayton Beer Company

7/13 - Nashville, TN @ Rocketown

7/14 - Columbus, OH @ Rock The Creek

7/17 - Cincinnati, OH @ TBA

7/20 - Memphis, TN @ TBA

7/21 - Birmingham, AL @ TBA

7/22 - Fort Walton, FL @ Green Door Music Hall

7/23 - Columbus, GA @ TBA

7/24 - Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade

7/26 - Savannah, GA @ TBA

7/27 - Jacksonville, FL @ Jackrabbits

7/29 - St. Augustine, FL @ Sarbez

7/30 - Orlando, FL @ TBA

7/31 - Tampa, FL

8/11 - Myrells Inlet, SC @ TBA

8/12 - Myrtle Beach, SC @ Klockers (acoustic)

8/16 - Asheville, NC @ TBA

8/17 - Norfolk, VA @ TBA

8/18 - Virginia Beach, VA @ TBA

8/20 - Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter

8/22 - Washington, DC @ TBA

8/24 - Philadelphia, PA @ TBA

8/25 - Long Island, NY @ TBA

8/26 - Hamden, CT @ TBA

8/28 - Providence, RI @ TBA

8/30 - Boston, MA @ TBA

8/31 - Albany, NY @ TBA

9/1 - Burlington, VT @ TBA

9/5 - Potsdam, NY @ TBA

9/7 - Montreal, QC @ La Vitrola

9/8 - Ottawa, ON @ TBA 

Maybe a couple hometown farewells early September too. Depends on some things.Lots to book. Any help would be much appreciated.

[theunemployedrogue]

-rubs hands together- ok for the salty ask meme: 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 13, 19, 27

I’m gonna answer this for DA and V/L/D [v/l/d answers are censored to keep out of the tags bc the fandom can’t fuckin chill]

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

DA: I mean I do get it, but I’m not a fan of Dorian/Fenris. I don’t think its bad or anything, just not my jam since they haven’t interacted in canon.

V/L/D: L0t0r/L@nce…like, L0t0r hasn’t even been on the show yet, let alone interacted with anyone. I assume the ship came about due to two things: a) In the original show L0t0r was romantically interested in the Blue Lion’s pilot (Al/l/ura), and fans headcanon L@nce being the blue paladin as him being intended for the L0t0r romance subplot. b) L@nce is the fandom bicycle haha 

Also not a fan of Sh@t/t…M@tt’s had like 5 min of screen time so far…  

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? 

DA: Yes, a few. There’s only so much vitriol and denial over a character’s flaws I can take.

V/L/D: Not yet. Thankfully the folks I follow that are involved with the fandom are chill and don’t hold extremist views or engage in discourse. I’m very wary of following new people in this fandom though.   

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

I honestly don’t have a notp for either fandom. It’s very, very hard for a pairing to earn notp status with me.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

DA: No.

V/L/D: Y’all fuckers are tryin with kl@nce. I adore the pairing but the fact it’s associated with a/nt/is is a huge annoyance.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

DA: @nd/ers discourse. Previously I really enjoyed his character and discussions surrounding his decisions, but I am just....so tired now. It’s been beaten to death. I wish people would just accept the fact not everyone is going to hold the same opinions and stop writing dissertation-long arguments (this goes for both sides).

V/L/D: I’m getting to the point I am starting to dislike my favorite character and pairing bc fellow fans are absolute shitlords in regards to characterization and they demonize the hell out of multishippers.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

DA: Not an @list@ir fan. I don’t hate him, I just don’t understand why he’s such a popular character as I find him kinda bland.

V/L/D: Uhhhh I honestly like most of the characters? I guess M@tt is my least favorite tho, as he hasn’t had much screen time and his characterization is like 90% fanon interpretation at this point.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

DA: I personally believe Fenris truly has issues with alcohol abuse. I know a lot of fans vehemently refuse to believe he is an addict, but as someone who has suffered from addiction I see a lot of myself in him during the scenes he is drinking. To me he displays classic symptoms of a binge drinker. I don’t think he’s a drink-every-day alcoholic, but he’s def someone who cannot control himself on the occasions he does drink.

V/L/D: To preface this, L@nce is my fave.....but that boi is not a good leader or particularly smart. His strengths lie in the fact he is a jack-of-all-trades and emotionally intelligent (when he’s not screwing around), and I wish fans would stop trying to give him traits that are already present in other characters -- good leader? Shir0/Al/lu/ra. Awesome pilot? K3ith. Super smart? Hu//nk/P1dg/e. Let L@nce be a flawed character that still has room to grow.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

For both fandoms (and any fandom I’ve been in) -- the fucking discourse. Oh my god. Not everything has to be a gd moral dilemma... like I just wish people would stop that an/ti shit.

27. Least shippable character?

DA: Not sure honestly?

V/L/D: C0ran prolly. I like his character, but he’s such a dad figure I find it hard to ship him with any of the characters we currently know (aside from maybe Alf0r in the past).

[septic-heart-and-mind]

Boss Week Day 6: My (Many) JSE Creations That Jack Hasn’t Seen (yet..)

Welp I’ve made so many that Jack hasn’t seen... there’s gonna be a lot in this post xD I really hope that @therealjacksepticeye​ sees them :D

I have my many versions of All The Way: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

I wrote a song for him (and for my sister): (x)

I’ve written 3 poems: 

“One Person Can Do A Lot”

Jack has helped me smile again

And he’s nothing short of a good friend

Cold, dark depression surrounded, but he

Kept me from drowning

Saw me through my hardest days

Every pain just seemed to fade

Playing games and making me laugh

Tears dried up as he warmed my heart

I thought I was worth nothing but he

Cared about and believed in me

Every time that I was sad

You, Jack, made me feel less bad

Eventually I didn’t hate myself

1 person can do a lot

4 someone else

My life is so much brighter now

It’s far from perfect, but I’m learning how to

Look at things so differently

Look for positivity

I’m following my YouTube dream

Only because you inspired me

Never had the confidence

Starting seem so pointless

Until one day, I decided to try

Best decision of my life

So thank you for what you give to me

Courage, hope and positivity

I know these things are of no price

But just what I needed most in life

Every time I thank you, Jack, I

Really mean it, to the moon and back! You

Saved me.

“The Making of a Hero”

A cabin in the woods

Is where it all began

Expecting nothing

Was a humble young man

He started making videos

To make people smile

Being honest and genuine

And kind all the while

His infectious energy

And positivity shone through

As time went by

The channel grew and grew

With every milestone

No matter how small

He would always say

A big thank you to us all  

He grew as a person

His videos evolved

He always interacted

And made us feel involved

Even now the community

Is 14 million strong

He still talks to us

Just like he’s always done

He’s still just as grounded

As when it all began

Maybe even more now

As he’s grown since then

He’s made it so far

He’s achieved a great deal

Proud is not enough

To describe how I feel

But he’s done so much more

Than just for his own gain

He’s given hope and joy,

And eased people’s pain

He’s an inspiration

And a wonderful friend

Someone who is there for us

Again and again

I hope one day we’ll meet

And hug each other tight

He’ll know how much he means to me

Better than when I write

When he started videos

I’m sure he never knew

He’d become a person

That so many look up to

A cabin in the woods

Is where it all began

The making of a hero

My helping hand.

“Because He Cared”

So depressed

Every day I fought

Alone, drowning in

Negative thoughts

Would

I ever overcome this pain

Life was winning yet again

Looked around

I had no escape

At least until

My hero came

My life began to

Change forever

Little steps

Of getting better

Under the

Guidance of Jack

Happiness was coming back

Learned positivity

I was becoming free

Not quite there, but closer because he cared.

My Jacksepticeye remix! (x)

And of course, my fan art! It’s in order to show my improvement ^-^

Wow, making this post has made me realise just how much I’ve created! XD 

Jack, if you see these, I hope you enjoy them! :D and even all of this doesn’t make up for all you’ve done for me, but it’s a start ^-^ <3

[ichoiheedong]

POCAHONTAS . [ BTS PJ] one shot

bts member :park jimin x british girl 

words count: 7233

Genre: smut fluff angst racisme 

my wattpad: Nayoonbts  

my: mobile masterlist

this work was a sweet surprise to one of my wattpad followers who asked a one shot i just hope you like it coz i didn’t put much effort it’s just something i felt nd i was sure many of armys feel the same^^ 

cover dedicated to #araminbts

"What's going on with you Ari? You don't seem like yourself today" Cindy whispered discreetly, hoping their manager wouldn't notice their interaction.

"I'm fine...really" Ari reassured her with a grin and continued her work. The truth was she was tired as hell. Yeah it was hard; living as a foreigner in Korea wasn't how everyone would imagine it to be. She chuckled remembering how excited she was to come here when she received the acceptance letter from the university she had applied to.

but working while studying was a pain in the ass, //

Ari pov

I haven't been 'ok' for days, I missed my family a lot. My roommate was a cute girl but we both had different lives. I couldn't really bother even though she always asks me if I need something.

Honestly, I don't even know what I need now. I am always stuck in the same room, the same work shop, the same uni, I stop by same restaurant to buy food from and life carries on;

but honestly, I was happy too, I was able to see a lot of K-pop idols live on stage. I tried hard to save some money so that I could go to one of the fan sign or to a concert.

I sighed as I continued my work. The shop wasn't too crowded today and I was happy because I couldn't handle the customers with this bad mood I was in. I had a long day at university and then a long shift straight after.

"Ari some one is waiting for you outside" Cindy came closer informing me when I was done changing my outfits to go home.

I frowned. I didn't have a lot of friends around here so I wasn't sure who this person could be. I checked my phone and I hadn't received any notifications or missed calls.

"See you tomorrow Cindy, have a good night!"

"bye! "

I made my way outside and I was really surprised... "Taehyung!!"

He was my classmate. Someone I couldn't really talk to or approach as much. I mean he was always surrounded by girls, they don't even leave him alone for a second when we have lectures. Even so, I appreciate his cute smile if our eyes ever met.

"Hey " I greeted him and he nodded coming closer

"hey Ari, sorry for coming here but I didn't know how to contact you"

"Oh it's ok... Did you need something?" I asked as my heart was racing like crazy.

" I didn't attend biology class yesterday and I checked the paring list today and found out you didn't choose your team yet?"

"yeah that's right, I think I will work alone... all the teams are complete now" I said whilst looking away

"well I don't have a team either, so if you don't mind, maybe we can work together? That's why I'm here I couldn't find you today in the library "

"Oh yeah I have work after lunch so I don't go to the library, and yeah why not I would like to" I said grinning nervously while my heart was jumping inside.

"Great then! See you soon "

"yeah okay" I said and slightly bowed at him

"emm give me your number so I can call you"

"yeah sure " I gave him my phone so he could ring himself and then he left and I did the same. It was hard for me not to jump around when I reached my apartment. He was such a cute creature and I wished we could be friends ever since I first met him. I was over joyed to finally have this chance.

-

"Girl you look great today emmm let me guess" Cindy let out pinching my chubby cheeks. I flinched hitting her hand so that she stops.

"I look like this every day it's not my fault if you don't notice" I defended myself, feeling shy as she caught me. Well to be honest, I didn't do anything special for god sake! It was just a blush and a nude lipstick c'mon!! But I couldn't hide how excited I felt working with Taehyung...for real.

That was the beginning of our friendship. He is now someone I could never imagine my life without, and to prove this we even became roommates.

It seemed awkward at first. He was a rich kid but he told me he was thinking of having his own private zone. He owned the apartment I'm living in now he refused to let me pay him the rent.

It was really a year full of new adventures. I got to discover a lot of places that I could probably never visit if I didn't meet this guy, but tae was someone who gave me funny memories that I want to keep forever.

Things were going great and I couldn't be sad anymore. Especially this year I could go to the UK more than twice to visit my family. I was actually really grateful to my new part time job for this.

I started late last year and things were going great. That was until about a month ago when the boss changed. I think he didn't like me. Things were obvious, even to my co-workers. They noticed how he tried to make things harder for me. They notice it more when I need to work longer and finish more things than them.

Taehyung started to notice how tired I was, especially when I came back home. We couldn't even watch our favourite shows or hangout with his friends when they came over, as I was always sleeping

Today was Monday and I have just one class before heading to work. It was a company of course. I did have an important position there. I was just an assistant who works with a design team.

Of course, today was the day we have a weekly meeting. I was sitting in my chair preparing my papers and organizing my stuff, as I waited for my colleagues who started to come in one by one.

Everyone presented their work and spoke about last week achievements whilst I was just taking notes.

Two hours later,**

Ari was sitting behind her computer doing her work when the shadow hovering on her desk got her attention.

She looked up and somehow, she wasn't surprised any more to see her boss. She expected this now. He seemed to have something else to complain about and she couldn't do anything, even say a word back to defend herself. Simply because she knows that taehyung, her best-friend, was friends with one of the owners of the company. She couldn't cause him any problems.

She slowly got up as he asked her to follow him. As soon as she closed the door behind her, a hundred ton of papers flew directly towards her face, hitting her.

"Do you call this work !! huh??" he spat going back to his chair as she stood there in shock trying not to cry as she looked in his direction.

"I would gladly correct it if there is something wrong, if you just treat me like a human being"

He smirked

"You're just a piece of shit to me! Go back to your country if you're not happy with the way I treat you, no one forced you to stay... I even wonder how your request to work here even got accepted!!"

The girl was shaking nervous and angry. She wasn't sure how to spit back and say everything she wanted to say to this jerk since he got here,

when suddenly someone stepped in,

" The one who will leave this place will be you Kangjoon "

You looked to the right side were the other door opened revealing a young man in a black suit.

"oh, young master, ho-how did you get in here?

"Am I not allowed to ne in here?" The young man let out smiling but from his lips shape she could really see how pissed off he was,

So is this the young CEO everybody was talking about. Well they got a point... For god sake, he looked like was like fairy tale character!! He had luscious black hair, plump lips, half-moon shaped eyes and round cheeks which lead her to notice his sharp jawline. A weird combination made him look unique and very handsome.

"Is this how do you treat employees, especially this girl?" he said again and you just stood there hearing his seductive voice.

"she isn't doing her work properly sir, I've been trying with her for months now "

"and when she failed, you insult her?" he deadly said, coming closer to the big office

" I will try my best with her again sir, I'm sorry"

"No need to do that anymore" he added looking at Ari and her heart raced

"Is he trying to fire me too... but gently?!" She thought to herself

She frowned

"Get out of here kang joon" She looked up to the new man as he deadly ordered the chief of the group to leave. As he came closer to the door she just moved a bit so he could go out.

She couldn't believe what just happened. It felt like someone finally saved her life and now she could enjoy doing her work in peace.

She didn't know what to do as she stood there silently looking dumb, just observing him. Finally, he grinned.

"Come here "

"huh?" She hissed and hesitantly walked toward the desk as he sat behind it.

"I'm park Jimin" he let out smiling and she could feel her heart drop.

"Ari, and I'm so sorry I didn't really want this to happen"

" I saw everything" he reassured her "No need to be sorry, he was the one doing bad things and trying to insult you, I feel happy I stopped this and I sincerely apologize for the awful things he said. It's not how we treat people in my company or how should people treat each other in general.."

She nodded

"..and I asked my assistant to check your previous work. It was all fine, I think he tried to make life hard for you, so that you would want to leave. Disgusting behaviour, so there is no reason for me to keep these kinds of people in my company"

It was too much for her to realize already. She kept listening to him without saying anything, it's crazy but she enjoyed listening to him.

"So, can I continue working here?" She asked looking to his eyes and he nodded.

Sure, nothing is going to change keep working as usual Ari " Jimin let out and she flashed him a bright smile as she nervously brushed her long black hair.

"Thank you so much, I will go back to my office right now" She said and bowed respectfully before leaving again.

After that day, she didn't see the young master again, for two weeks straight.

-

"I'm bored as hell!! I feel like I'm going to die alone soon" Taehyung shouted acting like he was suffocated and Ari giggled.

"You have been single for just two weeks! Stop being weird tae!!"

"You know that I can't be single, I was born to be loved babe!" he sang out as he stood up

"Why don't you go to do some shopping... I think you need some Gucci shoes and accessories to calm you down"

" Yeah, I think so to" he giggled "but it doesn't mean I'm going alone, c'mon you need to come with me"

"I'm too tired to go out and I have work tomorrow so I want to rest" She pouted

"It's not an excuse, c'mon you never go out with me when I need to go shopping or when I meet some friends and you're supposed to be my best friend!!"

Ari grinned. He was right she didn't want a lot of his friends to see them together. She wanted to avoid any made-up rumors they will try to tell about taehyung. He was so popular even she knows what they could do to his reputation. Moreover, she was as rich as he was and she didn't feel comfortable visiting places he goes to.

Taehyung was faster to grab the blanket and pull it off

"c'mon go get ready we will go out and have dinner outside!"

Ari gave up as he pushed her upstairs and closed her bedroom's door. she sighed heavily and hurried up to get ready

-

It was a warm day and taehyung made it warmer as he kept dragging her along to many different boutiques.

It was the first time she helped him choosing some outfits and as she saved some money too she decided to buy something too.

"what about inviting some friends tonight and have dinner together?"

"friends?? " Ari asked " I don't know any of them... who will you invite?"

"yeah, I have a bunch of friends that I want you to meet, like you are my best friend and they all really need to meet this dork"

she chuckled and nodded

"okay why not, I will meet them tonight but let's just watch something tonight and have dinner"

"That's my girl!" Tae shouted excited and she giggled hitting his arm

The time went by quickly. As she chose to stay home Taehyung was helping her to prepare the food after he called his friends.

"So are you really going to the UK in the holidays" Tae asked and Ari flinched

"Yeah, I will go see my family and friends... you know I have to tae"

"Yeah... actually I wish I can go to. I really want to know who your friends are back home. I wonder if you are different there... I mean when you rock da sexy British accent" he continued as he made you a face making her giggle

"Stop this and let me finish the salad you brat, "

" any way I will visit you if I can... I promise"

" really?" ari stopped

"yeah why not "

"that will be awesome, I think my friends will go crazy about you hhhh"

"yeah I'm a freaking handsome creature "

"stop being cocky you lil shit "

"I'm not, it's written on my face, see, see" Taehyung was coming closer. Approaching you, so that you could look at his face as you kept pushing him back when the bell rang and he stopped.

"they must be my gang!"

"gang !! omg!!"

"c'mon dry your hands and follow me, you need to meet them they are handsome too but not as much as I am"

"hell !! boy not again" Ari rolled her eyes.

Taehyung was in the living room and of course Ari could hear the noise of the guys. They were all men and it felt weird as she was naturally shy but she continued her way to the living room.

The first one her eyes landed on was a tall guy with a black hair and a cute bunny smile. He looked fresh and younger than taehyung. He grinned when he saw her coming closer as she shook his hand.

Then there was his other friend hand who had dyed his hair red. He looked so energetic and when he introduced himself. She now knew who was talking loudly. Finally, she turned to the guy who chose to sit on the sofa behind her to greet him. She slightly gasped. Nobody noticed her shocked eyes when Jimin stretched his hand to her and she shook it of course. Taehyung immediately noticed the way jimin eyed his best friend and smirked.

A while later everyone was sitting. Ari decided to bring the plates while the guys were fighting about the tv shows and of course she knew taehyung will win.

"Do you need help" The familiar voice went smoothly to her ears and she turned slowly,

It was him her saviour and boss.

Ari didn't expect the chance to see him again. He worked on another floor and of course she couldn't just stop outside waiting to see him.

To be honest she tried that once. She had heard the CEO was in the company that day. After her work finished, she went and stayed in the coffee shop near her work place. Hoping to see him coming out of the office building but she failed,

but now he was here. In her kitchen. Asking to help her with the plates she made for dinner.

She couldn't imagine that taehyung knows him and now it turned that they were friends?!

"It's okay, I got them" Ari said but as Jimin came closer her hands started to shake.

"Give me this, you will probably drop them if you kept shaking like this"

Ari blushed as she looked down feeling her cheeks will explode soon. Thankfully Jimin had already walked out to the guys. She followed quickly. She went back to the kitchen to bring the drinks and splash some water on her face

Her long hair was falling on her shoulders and she tried to breath normally before going out.

Fortunately, the rest of dinner was funny. Hosoak was telling them about his last dance class that Jungkook was also attending. They really looked funny interacting. She felt a regretful not accepting to meet them since tae started inviting her to his parties with them. The only person who kept laughing slightly was Jimin. He looked calm as he continued enjoying his meal.

"Ari you're really cute emm I'm sure this bastard didn't want us to meet you, yaah! Taetae! You wanted to be friends with this pretty girl alone huh?"

"No Hyung, I swear I tried to convince her many times to come with me but she refused"

"ohh why? It's a shame that you didn't come or we would be close friends by now"

Ari blushed looking at her best-friend trying to get some help but taehyung enjoyed making trouble and he was laughing

"Guys, she is shy and let's not push her into things she isn't comfortable with, she will soon get used to us" Jimin smoothly let out and everyone looked at him

"Ari do you know who he is?" Taehyng said. You looked at him, you worked in that company with his help and of course he knows that he is the owner of the company.

"He is your CEO girl, but don't worry he is so friendly"

"Stop doing this taehyung it's not like I don't know the employees in the company, it's not like I'm a CEO here"

"yeah right taehyung jimin is our friend too she could befriend him too"

"of course, I just wanted him to notice her so he doesn't be an ass to you"

"Taehyung I'm not in any position to meet him anyway, so please don't go further" you said and taehyung looked at your worried eyes

"okay guys let's just talk about something else like... Ari your British right?? Are there a lot of pretty girls in your city?" Jungkook sang out excited and Tae slapped his forehead

"Dude it's not like she isn't pretty though..."

"No, I didn't mean that, Hyung I was talking about girls in general"

She grinned to him "Yeah of course there is a lot of pretty blonde girls if that's what you're searching for"

It wasn't something new to her to feel. Honestly Ari didn't have any problem having a darker tone than most of Korean girls. It made her different which made her hella sexy and beautiful in her own way. She was like a super star with a long dark hair, large round eyes and plump cherry lips. She liked the way she looked even if others didn't. Of course, a lot of her friends here in Korea liked the way she looked while a lot of others found her too different.

A long time ago Ari realised that we are all different but beautiful and believes that we all should be different to work together, to live and communicate together. Even so being told she was different and unusual was one of her biggest fears she has while living here. Taehyung was always so sweet. He knows all her deepest fears and insecure she can be about the way she looks. He told her that never give a shit about that and how much he freaking loves her...but it doesn't mean all his friends do.

"You're so beautiful though " You didn't want to believe who said that as all the guys turned to Jimin looking at his calm features as he let out this phrase.

"Yeah she looks like J. LO and Selena Gomez mixed together" Jungkook said slowly and got another hit

"She is a waaay prettier dude! Everyone stop. She's my girl okay!" Taehyung let out, standing up and she did too hurrying to take some plates to the kitchen.

" I see you smiling idiot" Tae suddenly appeared checking her face

"No, I'm not,"

"Yes, you are, did you like it when Jimin said that? Of course you did! I mean my friend is hot shit!"

"Stop it" you aimed for his knee and rushed out to watch the show with the guys

Jungkook was enjoying the show and kept laughing along with taehyung who was sitting on the floor beside the sofa she was on. On the other side was where Jimin sat. He was holding the pillow looking at the tv.

She didn't notice how much time she spent watching him as she moved her long lashes. Jimin suddenly turned his head, and their eyes met. His grin startled her and so she immediately turned and looked to the tv again

That night was the first of many nights Ari spent with Taehyungs friends. She grew more and more comfortable with them every time they met. Especially with Jimin.

-

Winter break was soon and Ari wanted to start packing for her trip back to England. All day at work her mind was occupied with this thought, when her co-worker informed her to go to the seventh floor.

Her heart raced as she knew that the seventh floor was Park Jimin's office. She slowly walked to the door and knocked before nervously stepping in.

"Good morning" she let out as she walked towards his office

"Hey Ari, I hope you're doing okay?"

"I'm fine thank you sir "

Jimin frowned and she looked away

"We're friends no need to call me sir, "

"but you're my boss in here and I..."

"okay" he cut her off "you can call me whatever you want then, but it's not what we will spend time discussing, please take a seat "

She did as he asked and sat, waiting for him to tell her what's going on.

He looked tired and she could see why as her eyes fell on the papers around him.

"I need your help with this for a few days Ari, I asked for someone in your floor and your chief suggested you"

She couldn't believe it. He continued explaining the tasks, so for the coming days she's going to be Jimin's assistant and help him to end his work... holy hell! how could she survive!?!

Surely her heart rate will increase every day until she got sick

"I will do my best"

-

Work with Jimin wasn't like she expected. Add to him being a complete gentleman to her, always caring to order coffee in the morning. Since this week started Ari didn't need to go out for lunch as Jimin asked her to stay have lunch with him. Sometimes he would even take her out so they can meet the other boys.

There was a problem, something Ari was trying to pretend wasn't happening. Even so, she couldn't deny how much she kept thinking of his cute smile before she slept at night. She didn't understand why should she panicking when he approached her to correct something

She liked him a lot and it scared her and it just made her blame herself more.

The next morning, she called her mother apologizing. She will have to delay her trip for few more days. She couldn't let Jimin work alone especially when they were doing a great job and it was nearly completed.

On her way to the, Ari passed by her favourite coffee shop and instead of buying one cup she bought two.

Jimin was there when she came in,

"oh, you're early today sir," she sang out coming closer

"yeah, we have a busy day and I have a meeting after work, how are you?"

"I'm great" she let out passing him the coffee

"oh, thank you sweetie, I really needed this"

Ari paused as he took the hot cup and Jimin felt that her face went red and he chuckled

"Don't you feel comfortable if I call you that?

"It's not like that, I.." she stopped as he touched her hand and shivers ran down her spine

"It's okay we're friends any way "

As time flew by awkwardly, they just kept working until lunch time came. For the first time since she's been working with him she excused herself.

Ari lied and said that she had something to do during the lunch break but she just wanted to be alone and calm herself down.

Jimin seemed calm when they came back to work again and Ari thought that he was really upset as he didn't talk too much

"Jimin," she whispered not sure if he heard her but he looked up

"yeah, do you need something?" he asked and looked back to his papers

"no, but I just wanted to say sorry for earlier I didn't mean to let you alone it's just that I..."

"It's ok I always have lunch alone when you weren't here it doesn't matter any way" he said without looking at her and to her wide eyes

Is that so! So, she was nothing to him just someone he needs and then he will probably bring another.

Anyway, why should she feel upset it was the bitter truth. Jimin was the last person who would like her too, and he was her boss! Maybe he has a girlfriend too. She felt a pain in her chest and as she felt her eyes getting teary she excused herself to go to the toilet.

Ari stood up and went to the sofa to grab her bag. She didn't notice Jimin leaving his seat. When she walked to the door a strong hand pulled her back so she was stuck to his muscular chest.

Her eyes widened as she felt Jimin wrapping her closer in his warm embrace, his eyes looked dark and she wasn't sure what's going on. All she knew was his scent was giving her chills. It was melting her. The next thing she felt was the sweetness of his lips as he dropped his face brushing her nose.

Jimin was moving his lips slowly, hands pressing on the small of her back, and for few minutes they were passionately sharing the kiss until Ari froze. She slowly opened her big eyes looking at him.

Jimin was panting and she was also catching her breath. When she did, she instantly tried to free herself but he just tightened his arms around her refusing the gap

" Why? why did you do this" she hissed

"I have been wanting to do that for a while now" he told her with a smile and she looked confused

"It's wrong,"

jimin frowned "Why?"

" We're DIFFERENT Jimin and you're my boss... we're just doing something that is completely wrong, I'm sorry" Ari rushed out and instead of going to the toilet she just hurried home. For her good luck Taehung wasn't there yet.

She cried herself to sleep that day ignoring all the calls she received.

-

Taehyung wasn't dumb. He felt something had happened as he saw her puffy eyes the next morning

"Holy shit, who's this zombie, oh god where is my Ari yaaah did you eat her"

"tae stop this it's not funny "

"what the hell happened to you, you look like a drunk man "

she rolled her eyes looking at him before she grabbed the coffee maker

"I'm on period, okay" she lied and he cleared his throat

"okay I'm sorry don't eat me, my new girlfriend is too pretty to be alone now"

She didn't even pay attention and as soon as he ended his phrase taehyung turned going back to the kitchen

"tell me what's going on!" he asked with a serious tone

"I told you already

"it's not the truth you're hiding something. You didn't even react to what I just told you and that is not like you so just cut the crap and tell me!"

Ari was done with him. She knows taehuyng was a pain in the ass if he wanted something, he would nag until he got it.

"Fine, I kissed jimin yesterday! Happy?"

As soon as she said this he spit out his drink

"waaw you finally get a kiss! congratulations babe, I feel jealous though "

she sighed "Tae I said he is Jimin,"

"emm I heard you, and so? he is a man, well not like any other man as he is hot and sexy and for sure it was a hot kiss right, right !

"you know I feel how useless you are when I need you. Go away right now! leave me alone" she whined

Taehyung chuckled seeing her cutely pouting "c'mon baby girl I was joking don't feel bad... I mean do you need me to call that jerk right now!!"

"No please it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it was just a mistake and as I'm leaving tonight I think things will die down soon. We don't need to make a big deal about a kiss, right?" she said reassuring herself more than telling her friend about how she felt

"but I can clearly see how much you liked him, I think he does too, so why would you want this to die down?"

"because he is not right for me, and I am definitely not right for him tae,"

The young man frowned "Are you going to get back to your silly thoughts about being different??"

"It's the truth, because I am different. Why would he like a girl like me. I'm nowhere near his standards "

"and how did you know about his standards any way" Taehyung let out and she looked up

"It's obvious, he doesn't need to write them on his forehead, he is someone who has to get a pretty and rich wife and I'm too far from both. I don't want to get hurt."

"but..."

"It's ok Taetae" she chuckled "I'm going to be okay don't worry about me, you can go out now I'll be fine dear"

-

As Ari convinced him to go out she called for sick and started to pack trying to convince her self that what she will do will be the best for her.

-

Jimin couldn't focus with his work. He thought Ari will be here in the morning but when his secretary informed him she will be absent he was angry and upset. Even more so as she didn't even reply or answer his calls. The worry pushed him to go to her and Tae's apartment.

When taehyung told him, she left for two hours his heart dropped,

"You can't be serious! Tae tae !"

"She has been planning to go to the UK for a month. She delayed her trip to help you, now I think she wanted to go back home, I mean you fucked up man why did you kiss her anyway?! You better have told her you liked her first!"

"I thought she will understand this if I put my feelings into a kiss I mean I didn't do something wrong " Jimin was feeling really upset

"You know man you're right but she is a weird ass, look she ran away because of a kiss, I wonder what will she do if you blocked her in the corner and fucked her "

"give me her address"

"you can't be serious....

-

It was boring, she didn't enjoy anything even her mother delicious porridge nothing seemed right as her heart kept aching.

Her friends forced her to go out every day to different coffee shops, going shopping and she even visited the hills. But she was missing her best-friend and more than this, she missed Jimin.

It was crazy but his taste on her lips was still vivid and it made her crazy

A week later as she ended her video-call with taehyung as he faked a crying face she heard the doorbell ring.

Lazily, she walked in the hallway. Her mother was visiting her aunt and her brother was at school. She wondered who would visit in this time.

She opened the door revealing the person as he made eye contact with her, Ari eyes got bigger as she backed up.

" It took me a while to come here I'm sorry I'm late" Jimin let out as he came in shutting the door behind and leaning on it

"wht..what are you doing here Jimin??

"I missed you" he let out "You just ran away and I'm here to see you, let's talk, please."

"I have nothing to say, please go back "

"Is that how you treat people here? I was sure I heard that people her are always inviting and kind"

"I didn't mean that, c'mon let me just bring you some tea"

"That sounds great " he let out as he came in taking off his black coat and from the corner of her eyes Ari noticed his toned chest! god she was sticking their few days ago

She cursed herself and hurried to prepare the tea she liked the most. As she came to the living room Jimin was looking to some pictures near the TV

"Is this your family?"

"You're in my family house... so yeah, they are"

he chuckled "you're cute" he let out and fortunately she just placed the cup on the tea table or she would have dropped it easily

"you didn't tell me what are you doing here" she asked as she sat in front of him looking at his serious features

"it's delicious, I would like to have this cup of tea every day "

"I would gladly give you the recipe"

"I will gladly have you instead of it," he said and she was shocked

" what the hell!" she let out in between coughs

"I suck in making these kind of simple things, so it's better to have you by my side making them for me"

Ari was done with his teasing and she stood up "I have to go out right now, thank you for passing by "

Jimin stood up and instead of grabbing his coat he grabbed her hand

"guess I need to try what Taehyung said that time" Jimin sang out he was done with her and quickly he lifts her up as she cried out

"omg what are you doing" she yelled but as soon as she found herself stuck in the corner,

her back to the wall as he crushed his lips to hers in a kiss

Ari couldn't even move as she felt her body went numb. Jimin was pressing his torso into her in a way so that she couldn't move. In the end, all she could do is to wrap his neck and he smirked when she did.

Jimin lips were kissing her neck slowly as she moaned

" I would place you on the sofa but believe me I'm scared you would run away" Jimin let out and he heard her giggling cutely

She couldn't have run away if she wanted to, her legs were like jelly. Too weak to hold her so he just moves back to the sofa.

Ari's hearts were about to explode as she looked at jimin hovering around her.

"oh god! I am going to have sex with him !!" she thought as her stomach flinched and she felt dizzy dying in anticipation,

but all her thoughts were wiped as soon as her lips reconnected with his again. He nibbled on her lip while his hand traveled south unbuttoning her shirt. He then took off his.

His chest was like a rock. He was even hotter than she imagined and she melted when her hand softly rest on it.

"you look so sexy, I'm fucking crazy about you baby girl"

Her face blushed more, even when she could feel all the blood was rushing to her lower part, where her core was aching.

"jimin please you need to slow down" she shyly hissed when he reached her belly button kissing the area slowly

"why, are you that scared?"

"It's not like I did this before so please"

He breathed and she felt burnt as his hands slowly massaged her waist bringing his self-closer to her again for a kiss as his hand slipped underneath her skirt

The tension was getting more sturdy between them. She could feel his bulge pressing to her side. Her hand slipped to undo his jeans without breaking the kiss

Jimin parted from the kiss slowly, pressing his fingers into her core and she gasped "oh my god!"

"Relax love! you're so wet for me already just close your eyes"

She looked at him and he reassured her with a nod before her lashes hesitantly closed. As soon as her body relaxed jimin slowly slipped his finger in,

feeling her tightness, he tried to move slowly as she bites her lips,

"oh my god, I..it feels good

"you see, just be good girl babe

"move faster please"

Jimin added his second fingers and went faster, coming closer so he could place his head in between her legs. His other hands took away her panties and he slowly licked up.

She cried out feeling her self-going crazy as Jimin continued eating her out, her walls clenched harder around his fingers and she felt close.

"my god this is too much, I can't any more Jimin I think ..I'm going to cum" her whispers were weak. Jimin was giving her chills, trying to help her ride her orgasm slowly teasing all her nerves and wrecking them

To him, she looked like the definition of sex appeal. With her half-opened eyes, red cheeks, her swollen lips and dark black hair falling messily down her shoulders. He was sure he could easily cum just by looking at her like this.

"You're so beautiful" he let out pressing more into her as he moved up claiming her lips. He knows she needs him close and he was right. As soon as he moved towards her, she wrapped him closer with her long arms.

"Just be inside of me now, please, I need you "

"Gladly... I am desperate to feel you around me too"

She helped him to take his pants of. Jimin then fixed himself on top of her and she pressed her hands on his shoulders.

"You're shaking Ari, relax baby" he said kissing her eyes slowly and she nodded

It was her first time but she couldn't ask for better. Jimin made her feel so comfortable and beautiful about her body.

He went in slowly giving her some time to get used to his size before he moved faster

Their harmony was magical. It seemed like they knew each other's bodies for years. The pain that she could feel in the beginning quickly became real pleasure

-

I really thought you ran away because you didn't feel the same" Jimin said as he lay down on her bed.

The place was warm and comfortable for him to rest after their crazy time having sex

"I was scared and I felt unsure and honestly, I didn't want my heart broken"

"but I was serious. I have wanted you long before we met in Tae's apartment,"

"I noticed a pretty girl, walking eagerly into the office every morning with a bright smile on her face and I really felt happy when she entered my company"

"do you mean you noticed me months ago?" Ari said surprised

"yeah and I liked the way you looked "

"Really? I was sure I would never reach your standards that's why I chose to go away"

" and do you even know them,"

"I've always been into girls like you. Different. You're so perfect to me, to be honest you're a way prettier than what I always wanted"

she chuckled hitting his shoulder "such a sweet talker "

"You need to come back with me, I'm not gonna live without you again, forget it"

Ari rolled in the bed as jimin took her into his warm lap

"I love you, sweetheart"

"I love you too jimin, I can't believe I'm this lucky to have you"

"We need to go back and have a small party for us. I need to let the world see my beautiful princess"

Ari snickered "Taehyung will go crazy about this "

"He gave me your address though "

"Gonna have to slap his ass when I get back"

"We will go back after I meet your family, I need to tell your mother how much I like your tea" Jimin tease and Ari pouted hitting his shoulder as he giggled.

"Well any way I'm great at making apple pie and I will not make any for you because you're so mean" Ari said pulling out her tongue as she jumped out of her bed

"That's ok..." Jimin replied

"I will ask my soon to be mother in law to do that for me."

Ari paused and turned to look at his handsome face as he lovingly looked at her. Did he just mean...//

end

this is a message for every one in this earth who doesn't feel confident to reach bts or any other Bias because of race or color or religion difference , we are all human being and there is no ugly women in this world every girl has a soft and pretty spot and she just needs to work on it

feel beautiful because you are! just love your self ,there is no need to feel loved when you don't enjoy loving your self first , and be sure your half will wait for you even if you are chocolate and milk couple because by the end you have love to bond ,you there is nothing better than love! so love your self and love the other

let's end violence and racisme !

[shikai-the-storyteller]

*slams hand on table* okay miss Shikai hear me out. if you want... do you have any headcannons surrounding X and Zero? Their ordinary dates? Character tics? Relations with others when together? X/Zero being cute in general? Funny stories surrounding this glorious gay robot couple? Generally, just X A ND Z E RO

OH MY DEAR ANON…The answer is yes, of course, and always. But you’ve put me on the spot and now I’m not sure where to begin! I know I’ll be kicking myself because I’ll think of more later, but for now I’ll just start off with general headcannons (boy oh boy did this get long):

Zero’s not a big touchy-feely person. Reploids don’t get “skin starved” like humans do, so I feel like most wouldn’t be very touchy-feely anyways, but I think Zero’s absolutely not a fan of people being up in his personal space without good reason (a “good reason” would probably be combat or training related). That being said, Zero can be pretty demonstrative (for Zero anyways) when it comes to X. Day of Sigma reinforced this headcanon (plus that greeting they had in X6) since Zero pretty casually put his hand on X’s shoulder to ease his concerns, so I think that sort of interaction is a regular thing between them.

X is probably pretty touchy-feely for a Reploid. Along with the morality tests and other scenarios Dr. Light programmed to help educate and test X, I’m sure he put in a few lessons about social interactions so X would have a general idea of how to socialize with humans once he woke up. (X is probably more touchy-feely than he would’ve been anyways because of habits he picked up in his first few years of being “awake” and being around Dr. Cain). I think giving pats on the shoulder or back are things he’d do to show his affection for the people he cares about (he probably likes receiving them too). I think hugs are reserved for Dr. Cain and maybe??? Zero??? I have nothing in canon to go off of this unless you want to count X5 //shot but X seems like the type of person who’s desperately in need of hugs so I’m going to say yeah, that’s a thing that happens between X and Zero too (on rare occasions).

I think X and Zero would be pretty casual around each other? Like maybe X is a little tired so he leans against Zero or something and it’s Not A Big Deal. Canonically speaking, Zero and X trust each other more than anyone else in the world so I feel like they’re pretty comfortable around each other.

If we’re talking about what they’d be like in a relationship, I think it’d be really frickin cute if they held hands (for long periods or even if it was just for a brief moments, like one of them returns from a long mission and that’s how they greet each other. Maybe Zero squeezes X’s hand and it’s his way of being expressive since he’s probably not as good at that as X is). I like to think about them leaning their foreheads against each other’s (even though the other Hunters would probably be Scandalized because being so touchy-feely is weird for Reploids).

As for dates I think it’d be pretty casual too??? They’re practically a couple in canon already so I feel like their hangout sessions wouldn’t be too different (assuming they have time between missions and just. The war in general. Man that’s depressing). I tried tackling my idea of what one of their dates might be like in my “Dates and Desserts” fic, but I wasn’t 100% happy with that fic. I’ll get around to fixing that up later. But basically, casual fun things, in or outside of Hunter Base. Maybe they just watch awful human movies together or X tells Zero about weird books he’s read. Nothing that deviates too much from what they usually do (but maybe it’d involve more cuddling).

Other random stuff??? X likes reading physical books rather than digital copies just because. He doesn’t really have a reason for it, he just does. He also likes sleeping with a blanket even though he doesn’t need to because it’s comforting (that’s probably a human-exclusive trait but you know what, let me have this one). He likes eating human food sometimes and he’s tried every human hobby at least once (he has a scrapbook, various knitting equipment, a few sketchbooks, and some music sheets in some of his drawers). I think X would be good at piano but never felt a strong connection to any of the other instruments he tried. Zero likes seeing the hobbies X picks up on occasion, but I don’t think he’d try most of them unless they piqued his interest (or unless X asked him to try something with him).

HECK these are more like general headcannons, lemme give you some actual romantic ZeroX headcannons

I think if they ever actually got into a relationship it wouldn’t be an official thing? Like they’d never have that “you want to date?” or “I love you” moment, it’d just sort of happen organically? I don’t think much would change between their current dynamic and any sort of relationship. They already love and care about each other, after all :’)

I’ve gone back and forth over the whole kiss thing for them for MONTHS and I’m still not 100% set on my headcannon, because on the one hand I think any sort of physical interaction between them is already pretty intimate since it’s a demonstration of trust, so they probably wouldn’t really feel the need do the whole kissing thing? ON THE OTHER HAND, I think X (and Zero?) would recognize kissing as another / different way to show affection for someone you love, so maybe it’s a thing they’d do??? Who knows???? I’m constantly struggling to keep headcannons as in-character as possible but that can kill the fun so you knOW WHAT here’s some kissing headcannons

X gives really soft, small, gentle kisses mostly the cheek, and they’d be pretty regular. Maybe a cute short smooch on the lips once in a while. Zero would probably not be a big kisser, when he does it, they’d mostly be on the forehead because X is short lmao. Once in a while he catches X off guard with a proper kiss and it and X is adequately pleased and flustered for the rest of the day.

I dug up my old kissing headcannon post from like a year ago so I’ll reiterate a few of those here too: Zero’s kinda bad at the whole “romantic displays of affection” thing, so in the beginning he just tries to copy what X does and he’s awkward at it (but X would think it’s sweet b/c Zero’s this big intimidating Reploid trying his best to figure out how to give his bf cute kisses). Zero eventually nails his technique and then it’s X’s turn to be embarrassed and Zero’s just like “B) good”.

I don’t think they’d have nicknames for each other. Just regular ol’ X and Zero. I put a lot of importance in names but idk how to properly explain that so moving on-

Going back to an earlier comment, if the whole “organic thing” regarding how they came to terms with their feelings was too bland, here’s a few more headcannons from a scrapped fic:

X realized how he felt first because of course he would. 100 years of being stuck in a capsule growing accustom to his emotions and feelings would naturally give him a good understanding of his personality (and heart, theoretical though it might be). He’d probably realize it in quiet moments while hanging out with Zero, times when they’re relaxing after missions and just talking. Of course, it probably wasn’t something he felt the need to meditate on until Zero’s initial death (or maybe even before then- when Sigma used Zero as a hostage in ‘Day of Sigma’. Though he didn’t know what the consequences would be in the moment, he essentially let hundreds (if not thousands) of people die because he couldn’t harm Zero to kill Sigma, and then Sigma turned around and bombed their city. The understanding that there was a single thing he was unwilling to lose, so much so that he might put others at risk (even unknowingly), probably scared the hell out of him for a little while. If not that, then the fact that Sigma so easily read him and used (and continued to use) Zero against him time and time again probably did it.

Zero, even without 100 years of meditation and the emotional expression range of a brick, would realize how he felt about X eventually. Love and Loyalty are probably the same thing in his mind, and he’d accept his feelings readily. It’d just be another fact of life for him, one he wouldn’t dispute or question, and one he wouldn’t linger on. Tbh I have a whole fic concerning Zero reacting to this realization, so expect a fic from me about this later.

I could add more but THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS. I’m always down to talk about MMX and these two, thanks for giving me an excuse to do so anon (and please forgive any run-ons or whatever)