#maybe I’m sleep deprived

[knightinsmilingarmor]

got a leaked saw X script and this is the REAL way hoffman dies

[twinkling-moonlillie]

This is one of my favorite aspects of him as well. There is almost cognitive dissonance between these two ideas, but ultimately, I’d like to believe he thinks that murder/death is the ultimate show of love. It’s a sacrifice and a burden he willingly takes on purely out of the devotion he has for people.

Had a thought.

In my opinion. Hawks killing people because he loves people is one of the most interesting aspects of his character. Killing out of tenderhearted, protective love while having such a strict, borderline cold moral code is absolutely fascinating to analyze; as well as the fact that he takes death immensely seriously, valuing life despite using it as a strategy.

I wonder if he, somewhere deeply subconscious and psychodynamic, sees killing as an expression of love.

[blackseafoam]

Sleep Deprived at the train station

[kovalitics]

mildly obsessed with @hitwiththetmnt and their rottmnt dragon au

[fireyartccoon]

ok so I might’ve forgotten to get something ready for Wednesday BUT-

you can have Nine and Chaos Sonic from my Sonic Prime AU being siblings instead

[brawcolie]

Just thought I’d post some pics of my girlfriend and I’s billford cosplays at NYCC2024 :3 despite the…..signing incident…. It was incredible!! Guys Alex hirsch was RIGHT THERE….. IN FRONT OF US…. AAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHWHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA………………….

📸: @milfsatan 🚬🗿 (the coolest ever)

[whenifeellikeitpossums]

[dailydoseofdragon]

It’s Pride Month =}

[death-by-sc0tland]

can’t stop laughing at this

[m0thlegs]

maybe the real Viktor arcane season 2 character arc were the friends we made along the way

[mushroominaforest]

Finished this weeks AP art prompts! 2am the night before it’s due- as usual lol

“Outside” and “Bathroom mirror”!

For the “Outside” one, I used a reference photo of me at age eleven, holding a big frog I caught at night while on a camping trip! My nose isn’t bumpy yet- that happened after I broke it when I was fourteen lol. Anyways, that one was SUPER rushed, but surprisingly, I don’t hate it. Also pretty happy with the “Bathroom mirror” one. I actually like drawing hands, so this was fun!

[fivestoriesfallingg]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN SO PRETTY YOU ACTUALLT BREAK DOWN INTO TEARS

[acourtofquestions]

Does anyone else think Sabrina Carpenters style gives Bryce Quinlan vibes?

[sunny1927]

Do you guys think maybe Oswald would have an emo phase like Donald? I mean… I can now un see it.

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[bluesunflowers21]

I have no posts and no followers so this probably won’t see the light of day, but it’s 1:53 am and I’m up reading yumihisu fanfics from 2014 and I just had this thought I needed to share.

Does anyone ever read these older fics and just think about their age? It’s almost like time travel, right? You’re looking into a time in fandom where so many things hadn’t happened yet, secrets not yet revealed, ship wars that have yet to exist. To see a ship you hold close because even if it’s painful in canon it was the first you ever saw that matched who you were in some small way, and it’s young again. It’s all new, and the angst hasn’t hit, and the tragedy isn’t tragic yet.

And then I look at the comments. 2013, 2014, 2017, 2018. All are people, who at one time or another, have read the exact same work I have, and have enjoyed it enough to make a comment. And it’s not just fanfic either, it’s YouTube comments, it’s old vine compilations, it’s late 90s and early 2000s music. It goes beyond nostalgia, it is for just a moment, seeing peaks into peoples lives in a more in-depth way than any history book I have ever read. It is a diary of humanity when things were easier, when we were all young and bright eyed and full of hope.

I feel that since Covid, even before it, the world has been so dull. Colors are faded, and sounds are muted, and smiles aren’t as wide anymore. But tonight, even if for one moment, I caught a glimpse of what once was. I saw the beginning of a world I had just discovered over 10 years ago. I saw a hole in history, and I remembered myself. I remembered humanity. I remember when I cared about people beyond a surface level, when I had empathy and sympathy carved so deep into my heart that I bled comfort and love. I remembered the little things, the fallen log in the woods behind my papas house, just past the field that was decided by and electric pole, and the hill covered in cherry blossoms that I dug arrow heads up from, I remembered my wooden easel that I painted when I ran out of paper, and my bed frame that was once white and ended in an array of pastel colors. I remember when I liked pink and purple like the walls of my bedroom before first grade. I remembered when I started to hate pink and purple. I remembered the bullies from elementary school. I remember my fourth grade teacher convincing me to read The Stone Child, and how it was the first time I had finished a proper book. I remember looking for any horror book I could find after. I remember starting middle school and being so scared of what would come. I remember making a huge card for my seventh grade math teacher because he was retiring, and him hugging me and the other student who helped, because I don’t think he expected that from any of us. I remember starting highschool and trying to figure out who I was. I remember my mom getting cancer. I remember theatre being an escape. I remember friends I haven’t spoken to in years, and some I still speak to today. I remember the little kid who would think “future me, please tell me it will be okay” and I now think of the adult me who says, “yeah, it will be”.

Maybe this is all nonsensical rambling, but now I can’t help but think of a game I played for the first time after watching YouTubers play it online. There’s a specific quote that I don’t think I really understood until this moment, one that I saw make others cry in…I’m not sure, relief? Sadness? Happiness?

“Despite everything, it’s still you”

Despite everything, reading those comments on a random ballerina AU fic written over 10 years ago reminded me that yes, after everything that has happened, things I’ve caused and things I’ve never had control over, the little kid who believed in people still exists. She is a part of me that has never and always existed. Everything she was, and everything she ever will be, is who I am. Everything any child was and will ever be is who they are. Everything a child could have been and will be, is who humanity is.

We are angry, and selfish, and cruel.

But

We are kind, and we are hopeful, and we are love.

Not that we are loved, or that we do love

We are the embodiment of the concept.

And this is all the sleep deprived ramblings of a 21 year old who has no idea if I am actually writing this or if I am just dreaming it. Who knows, either way I won’t remember it in the morning. Tbh I barely remember it now.