#maybe i’m just sleep deprived idk

[death-by-sc0tland]

can’t stop laughing at this

[fireyartccoon]

ok so I might’ve forgotten to get something ready for Wednesday BUT-

you can have Nine and Chaos Sonic from my Sonic Prime AU being siblings instead

[acourtofquestions]

Does anyone else think Sabrina Carpenters style gives Bryce Quinlan vibes?

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[bluesunflowers21]

I have no posts and no followers so this probably won’t see the light of day, but it’s 1:53 am and I’m up reading yumihisu fanfics from 2014 and I just had this thought I needed to share.

Does anyone ever read these older fics and just think about their age? It’s almost like time travel, right? You’re looking into a time in fandom where so many things hadn’t happened yet, secrets not yet revealed, ship wars that have yet to exist. To see a ship you hold close because even if it’s painful in canon it was the first you ever saw that matched who you were in some small way, and it’s young again. It’s all new, and the angst hasn’t hit, and the tragedy isn’t tragic yet.

And then I look at the comments. 2013, 2014, 2017, 2018. All are people, who at one time or another, have read the exact same work I have, and have enjoyed it enough to make a comment. And it’s not just fanfic either, it’s YouTube comments, it’s old vine compilations, it’s late 90s and early 2000s music. It goes beyond nostalgia, it is for just a moment, seeing peaks into peoples lives in a more in-depth way than any history book I have ever read. It is a diary of humanity when things were easier, when we were all young and bright eyed and full of hope.

I feel that since Covid, even before it, the world has been so dull. Colors are faded, and sounds are muted, and smiles aren’t as wide anymore. But tonight, even if for one moment, I caught a glimpse of what once was. I saw the beginning of a world I had just discovered over 10 years ago. I saw a hole in history, and I remembered myself. I remembered humanity. I remember when I cared about people beyond a surface level, when I had empathy and sympathy carved so deep into my heart that I bled comfort and love. I remembered the little things, the fallen log in the woods behind my papas house, just past the field that was decided by and electric pole, and the hill covered in cherry blossoms that I dug arrow heads up from, I remembered my wooden easel that I painted when I ran out of paper, and my bed frame that was once white and ended in an array of pastel colors. I remember when I liked pink and purple like the walls of my bedroom before first grade. I remembered when I started to hate pink and purple. I remembered the bullies from elementary school. I remember my fourth grade teacher convincing me to read The Stone Child, and how it was the first time I had finished a proper book. I remember looking for any horror book I could find after. I remember starting middle school and being so scared of what would come. I remember making a huge card for my seventh grade math teacher because he was retiring, and him hugging me and the other student who helped, because I don’t think he expected that from any of us. I remember starting highschool and trying to figure out who I was. I remember my mom getting cancer. I remember theatre being an escape. I remember friends I haven’t spoken to in years, and some I still speak to today. I remember the little kid who would think “future me, please tell me it will be okay” and I now think of the adult me who says, “yeah, it will be”.

Maybe this is all nonsensical rambling, but now I can’t help but think of a game I played for the first time after watching YouTubers play it online. There’s a specific quote that I don’t think I really understood until this moment, one that I saw make others cry in…I’m not sure, relief? Sadness? Happiness?

“Despite everything, it’s still you”

Despite everything, reading those comments on a random ballerina AU fic written over 10 years ago reminded me that yes, after everything that has happened, things I’ve caused and things I’ve never had control over, the little kid who believed in people still exists. She is a part of me that has never and always existed. Everything she was, and everything she ever will be, is who I am. Everything any child was and will ever be is who they are. Everything a child could have been and will be, is who humanity is.

We are angry, and selfish, and cruel.

But

We are kind, and we are hopeful, and we are love.

Not that we are loved, or that we do love

We are the embodiment of the concept.

And this is all the sleep deprived ramblings of a 21 year old who has no idea if I am actually writing this or if I am just dreaming it. Who knows, either way I won’t remember it in the morning. Tbh I barely remember it now.

[aspiring-sea-hag]

wait guys. new word. seathen. sea heathen.

[clarabowmp3]

Also he had so much to say about my music taste why is HIS spotify profile private huh 🧐🧐

[carbonateds-oda]

“what even is the plot of bsd” dude. what is the entire story- oh my god. what. what is that word…story? what story? story? As in like a book? Like the one they keep mentioning throughout the entire fucking story- oh shit there it is again what! story!? what is this show even about!? books!? the book?? There’s a book?? and stories relating to different books??? that’s insane!! what!!

[cardboard-queen]

seeing more posts abt girlsmell this, boysmell that…. listen, i don’t think smell is erotic to me.

you’re next to someone. you feel a wave of comfort. you’re so close to them you can recognize them without a word, eyes closed. do you understand?

[strandnreyes]

I think that’s what a lot of people forget: it’s supposed to be entertaining and a drama show is all about drama and not a depiction of real life. It’s not about being perfect. And yes some things may have felt rushed but we still are so blessed: We got a beautiful wedding. Heartbreaking vows. A couple who will always choose each other. Gwyn. THE SONG! A glimpse of their honeymoon. Some promising storylines for the next season and some amazing actors who did a hell of a job! Of course one could always ask for more but I am glad we got so much wedding at all. In a lot of shows it’s a couple minutes tops. So yeah. I am glad and I enjoyed the finale even though I am still reeling. But like you said that’s what makes it good in the first place.

Of course I’m always going to want more. I’m at Olive Garden and tarlos is the parmesan cheese they grate on top of the salad and the waiter always says ‘tell me when’ like no you don’t understand. I want it pouring out of the bowl and spilling onto the table. I want to drown in this. there will never be enough.

Cheese analogy aside, what we did get of the wedding was beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever heard better wedding vows on tv and I agree a lot of tv weddings I’ve seen are very short or have lots of drama/side plots with other characters

[mellomadness]

somebody has been banging on something loud and metallic all night and at some point it’s gone from sounding vaguely like low gunshots to someone just beating something

it sounds so loud and unsettling :/ idk what to do about it tho bc like. it sounds like the actual homeowners next door not someone from the complex

[deus-ex-mona]

same energy tbh

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Kevin Day listens to classical music to fall asleep when he can’t (or to chase away nightmares)

[vanibear]

wish me no more high school forever.Amen

[transmalewife]

you guys are shipping the trust fund baby billionaire sexual harasser and the fascist he made president? you’re shipping the morally bankrupt bowl of wet porridge of an executive and his assistant who is his wife’s idiot cousin? shipping? as in kiss kiss look how fun it is to rub the fictional dolls together? that shipping? actually wanting them to be canon? making romantic fancams? of the fascist? you can’t be serious

[opheliasam]

don’t know if anyone’s read bulletproof by road_rhythm but that fic fucked me up sooo much i swore never to read it again even thought it’s undeniably one of the best I’ve ever read but it’s just . too much iykyk.

And i just read it again.