#maybe I’ll delete

[canine-economy]

On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing

I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.

Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”

and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.

Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.

Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.

When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.

Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.

[butchharts]

here’s my dick i guess oh god

[jellyvibes710]

@evenmoreofadisaster it’s a super rough story board but I first stumbled upon these guys because of @2aceofspades doodles of them and now I’m gradually becoming obsessed haha

I haven’t gotten too far into the story yet so the dynamic might be off, I’m sorry if it is 🫠

[reyenii]

“the boys in the boat” bts photos

[pinkerthings]

just saw moot say that what if mike and will are trapped in a closet together in s5 and one of them has to cover the other one’s mouth bc they’re scared and making noises, & now i CANT STOP PICTURING this scene like omg I can SOOOO picture mike freaking out bc he arguably has less experience with the upside down creatures/demogorgons and such so he would probably be more scared than will, so will would have to be the one to whisper like “shut up!” and cover Mike’s mouth with his hand, and then they’d both wait for the monster to pass before breathing a sigh of relief. and then the TENSIONNNNNN afterwards would be so crazy and Mike would be like, “um, sorry” and will would be like “it’s okay” and then imagine mike starts bringing up the painting or something and then someone opens the door and is like 🤨 what r u two doing in here, and then they both blush & fanfics will come true and lives will be changed

[shysimblr]

Finished just in time for simblreen

My hours are donnneee!! Everyone must know bc it’s been blood sweat and tears and I just want to scream it to everyone!!

I Don’t start my new job till January so it’s sims and chill from here on out and just in time for simblreen so excited!

I had some of my darkest days during this time and I’ve been my brokest during this time too but the dark days are over, this degree didn’t kill me and here I am

Say hello to RN Shy 🥳🥰

[cactusisconfused]

I’m having ✨thoughts✨

Aroace(?) Soap

-

Soap doesn’t understand why he feels this way for Ghost- he’s never felt this way before. Not for anyone. No woman, no man- no one.

Yet when Soap is around Simon, his mind swarms with thoughts he’s never had before. Thoughts of wanting to hold the man close. To listen to his deep, gravely, stupidly handsome British accent.

He’s so scared that it’s love- romantic love.

Soap isn’t emotionless, he loves with his whole mind and heart to the point it’s fucked him over in more ways than one- but never has he felt this.

He’s dated of course, because that’s what you’re supposed to be doing growing up. He’d dated a few girls. They were pretty, but that idea only rendered as a fact, with no emotion behind it. Like how a sunset can be beautiful but you wouldn’t take a sunset out on a date.

His relationship started when he was fourteen. A girl confessed her love, and Soap thought that’s all it took to be in love, for someone to say a ‘magic’ word. He didn’t understand that he was supposed to feel something.

She would try to kiss him, hug him, and he would give it back but it was never honest. Kissing felt wrong, felt nothing like how it seemed in the movies. They only lasted a few weeks.

He dated another girl a year later, his older sister Leah, had put them on a blind date. The girl was sweet, and again objectively pretty, but he felt…nothing.

He’s heard people talk about love, about the butterflies in one’s stomach, how everything would seem to zero in on one person. But as he looked at her from across the table, he felt nothing. He tried again, thinking that he just needed to wait for something to click.

She tried to advance things, Soap couldn’t get past taking his shirt off before making a piss poor excuse to leave. He doesn’t know why he felt like he needed to leave- why his skin was crawling at the thought of being intimate. But he did, and when he got an earful the next day from her, he had no good argument.

The girl had looked at Soap for a long moment before gently asking if Soap was gay. If that’s why his kisses never felt true, why there was no love- romantic love.

Soap at the time agreed with her, one for an out and two as it felt like a solid explanation for the way he was acting. He’d never felt anything towards guys, but maybe that’s because he’s never tried, he had never thought about it.

Soap had just turned seventeen when a guy friend of his admitted his attraction to Soap. Again, Soap looked at the man, dark brown hair, decent build, a kind man. Soap agreed regardless, already hating himself for going through with it. But maybe- maybe he is into guys and just…needs to get to know him more.

The two go on many dates and they last for almost a year. Soap could almost convince himself that he was truly in love.

Looking back, he wonders if he only felt that way because this man was the only one who saw Soap for who he was, and not the face he puts on for everyone else.

But Soap knows he was pushing his luck, knows he was leading the man on. The guilt had eaten him whole.

Three good people, all gave their undying love to Soap, and he gave nothing in return.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel how they felt- doesn’t know whats wrong with him. Why he can’t feel romance, why he’s never wanted sex.

He joins the military the next year, and he forgets about those feelings. Relationships aren’t meant to happen between soldiers and the one night stands are easy enough to dodge- both from men and women.

He had completely forgotten about all of it.

He had.

He really had.

Until Simon fucking Riley.

Until he saw that beast of a man dressed as the fucking grim reaper.

It wasn’t in an instant that he felt these new emotions. It was well after Las Almas and well after they catch Makarov.

Throughout that time, Soap and Simon got close, closer than either had truly expected. They flirted, though it was all banter of course.

Until it wasn’t.

Until Soap realized as he watched Ghost move through a warehouse through a sniper optic, that he found he meant it.

Then he started thinking and thinking. He couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t stop himself from getting jealous when anyone else looked at Simon with a suggestive glance. How he couldn’t stop thinking about holding him close, closer than Soap had let anyone before. How he had thought about pulling Simon close and have his lips meet the other’s.

It scares him.

Even if this is love- romantic love- he doesn’t feel like it’s enough. That he wouldn’t be a good enough partner, like how he was with the others in the past. What if these thoughts are the same as the last guy’s, he’s just going through some mental hoops to make him think it’s romantic?

Not to mention, Simon is his fucking superior- and his closest friend.

If he admitted his ‘love’ and for some reason Simon agreed, what if it goes away? What if he can’t recuperate once more? He’ll ruin their friendship and Soap can’t bare the thought of seeing Ghost take place of Simon.

He’s in turmoil and has no idea what to do with it.

He can’t tell gaz, he wouldn’t understand why Soap feels like he’s going crazy for feeling romantic for the first time. And like hell can he tell price, for the same reasons, plus insubordination. Price is a chill man, Soap knows that, but why stir a pot that’s already way past boiling.

So he’s stuck, with nothing but his journal and swarming feelings that make no sense.

-

Lmao, imagine identifying as aro ace for years and then boom, nada. Hahhahahahha. Definitely not projecting on him.

Definitely.

Anyway.

Have a good day (●’◡’●)ﾉ

[lotus-piers]

that one episode of bob’s burgers where gene dresses up like bob for the day except it’s a 6 year old jin ling dressed up as his jiujiu, parading around lp in magnificent purple robes that are a little too big for him with his head held high giving orders to anyone passing by in a tone reminiscent of jc and a slight scowl on his face, and jiang cheng despite his feigned annoyance and grumbling feels his heart simultaneously overflow with the love he has for a nephew that looks so much like his jiejie in those purple robes and break for the love that same nephew will never know

+ (when jc asks jl what he’s doing and jl replies saying that he wants to be just like his jiujiu, underneath jc yelling out brat and hidden behind his scoff as he turns his head is the holding back of tears because this is all simply too much)

and it’s not hard to notice but everyone at ymj carry a special almost delicate softness in their heart at the simple sight of jl that day

[saintobio]

everyone i just got two of my wisdom teeth removed and didn’t expect it to hurt like a beetch 😖 please be patient w me with sy bcos the pain i’m dealing with rn isn’t the kind of pain i’d write for gojoyn bahahah

[buttered-toasty]

Forging of the Ring/The Proposal/Reflections of Self

.

.

Till death do us part? You’re not getting out of this that easily.

And with that I think I’m done with my little marriage series (as I have been calling my bigger Sauron pieces)! I will post them all together sometime. Happy Halloween and remember not to separate out parts of your soul for the making of cursed jewelry!

Bonus thing with some extra portraiture under the cut, idk

[hawkeyeslaughter]

the angel of the first degree that van was talking about actually

[myfandomhalf]

Been thinking of Aventurine a lot and the fact Ratio never uses his name

When Jade was talking to him his name was still Kakavasha and right before that the IPC news mentions a “Egyhazo Aventurine” fraud case and Jade mentioned how he lied to the Intelligentsia Guild so it seems very possible to me that Ratio met him before he was Aventurine and maybe that’s why he only ever refers to him as gambler? Maybe he actually uses his real name but knows he can’t say it on Penacony? Just seemed odd how he NEVER says it, not even when talking to other people about him. The only time we hear Ratio say the word “aventurine” is when he’s talking about the stone to Sunday, but he never says it in reference to the person Aventurine.

I’m probably overthinking this but it just seemed like the dialogue was going out of its way to keep Ratio from saying Aventurine, but when there was no way around it they just had him say gambler

Edit: Should add that I play in English and haven’t looked at the other languages, so maybe it just so happens that he never calls him Aventurine in English even tho he does in other languages? In that case this wouldn’t matter at all but I have no idea

[syoddeye]

been sitting on some feelings since somebody decided to send me a doozy last night/this morning so

hi, hello, once again: if you read the tags and proceed to read fic that you know/have an inkling will upset or disgust you, that is on you. my fics are tagged on tumblr and ao3. it is your responsibility as a reader to heed them. it's also your responsibility to exit the moment that something squicks or upsets you.

while this is in response to a particularly nasty message i received about one of my price x reader kinktober fills, this applies to all of my fic. as i've said before, my tags aren't for shits and giggles.

if you need to block me, do so. strangers/acquaintances/mutuals too. if curating your experience means i'm not a part of it, it's fine. i likely will not notice, and you don’t need to announce your departure.

please stop messaging me to either yell at me or dump loads of your personal information on me. especially on anon. we are not friends. i know I can be friendly and jokey, but i am a random person on the internet with a whole past and present you don’t know anything about.

okay, thank you. anon is off for the meantime.

[bloodibambiidoll]

It’ll never not be funny to be that some of y’all are bullying people over Eddie fucking Munson LMAO it’s literally the most ironic funny shit to me. I randomly think about it sometimes and just start laughing bc it’s that ridiculous and unbelievable to me yet I witness it constantly. Me and my friends legit got called a “little cult” which is craaazy like what did they call Hellfire?🤨

Also idc if this is petty. My love for him has literally been tainted and stripped away and I’ve cried about it several times and idc if that’s dramatic or not. Like my happy place was ripped from me and I’ll never not be disgusted and pissed off about it. Also I don’t give a fucking shit if people unfollow me anymore. Im so tired of censoring myself so people will like me or so I won’t get bullied. But I don’t even care anymore, don’t like me? Bye. You wanna bully me? My anons are off so you’re gonna have to say that shit to my fucking face. I DONT allow myself to post when I’m in my feelings like this but I also DONT give a shit anymore😌🫶🏽

[sunsetsandsunshine]

Having the guts to show my art agaaaain

April O’Neil ✌🏾☺️💖🩷💕💞💘

Although no reblogs please let’s keep this on my blog 😅🙏🏾

[velvetjune]

Jesse would probably have the same reaction to Saga’s profiling as Tor or Odin, being able to directly communicate, which would lead to the best situation of both of them just staring into space while they’re silently and psychically communicating at random times