#maybe I’ll add more to it one day
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Truthfully (wip)
Truthfully, walking was never as convenient as teleporting; when you’ve spent years as a rogue robot in hiding, however, you got used to not having the privilege of accessible teleport spots. Truthfully, Blues quite liked these little nature walks. Rock and Roll did too, but they weren’t as fond of thoughtful silence as their older brother was. The duo walked ahead of Blues, chatting away with each other about something or other. Truthfully, Blues was too distracted by the view of the vibrant sunset and distant calls of birds to eavesdrop on his siblings’ conversation, although he appreciated the background noise of the two talking all the same. And (perhaps a little vainly, he thought to himself) he was just a tad bit mesmerized by the way the sun rays glistened on his new plating. It was odd, really, to think he had spent so long avoiding this place yet now he found himself with an absentminded, contented smile on his face while on his way back to Light Labs. Truthfully, Blues could hardly remember the last time he smiled before he came home.
Blues was snapped out of his daydreaming by a rather strange sound. It was like… distressed squeaking. It was then that he noticed his siblings had stopped in their tracks, hunched over like they were examining something on the ground.
“Hey- oh,” Rock turned to catch Blues’s attention, but was shocked to see the older robot was already behind him, peering at what had the other two so interested.
It was a cat. Well, a kitten to be more precise. Truthfully, Blues was not expecting that, though luckily his surprise didn’t show on his face.
“What is a kitten doing all the way out here?” Roll asked. True, the little scamp was less like the young of a highly successful species of predators and more like an orange clump of fur hardly larger than a finger nor wider than one either. It was tucked away in some bushes, as if that would work to conceal its location when it was practically mewling its little head off earlier. Truthfully, it probably would have been mistaken for a really orange dandelion or something had it not been the noise.
“We should leave it alone. The mother is probably around here,” Blues suggested, already beginning to step back. He had enough encounters with wild animals as a runaway to know better than to get involved with situations like this. Of course, Rock didn’t have that kind of experience, so Blues expected it when the younger shot him a sad look, even if it didn’t make it sting any less.
“Aw, but it’s prolly so sad by itself. Can’t we play with it a little or something?” Rock probably would not have appreciated being told he was pouting, but he was totally pouting. Blues eyebrows lowered, and for the umpteenth time today he was thankful for the visor obscuring his eyes. What Rock was doing was dangerous, but Blues supposed he couldn’t blame him. Most of Rock’s interactions with animals were the companions built for him; and even if Tango could imitate the fickle nature of a real cat, he was nowhere near close to having the— for lack of a more flattering term— primitive mind of the real thing. Dr. Light and Dr. Cossack had done plenty of anthropomorphizing Rush, Tango, and Beat’s behavior— which is fine, because they are robots— but applying that expectation to organic animals was a dangerous thing. But Blues didn’t have the time to explain all of that to Rock.
“We might scare it,” Blues offered instead. Truthfully, Blues felt a bit pleased with himself when he saw Rock’s expression change from one of pouting to understanding. Blues turned to Roll, waiting to see her face change too, but instead he saw her thoughtful gaze examining the bush.
“I don’t see any other kittens here… I don’t think mama cats leave their babies far from each other,” Roll stated, but when that didn’t cause much of a reaction she added, “Plus this kitten is really friendly.” Roll gestured down to her feet as she said that, and it was then that the boys noticed the kitten had nuzzled up against her.
Blues waited for her to elaborate more, but it seemed Rock had already guessed what she was alluding to. “You’re saying you think they were abandoned?” Rock gasped. Blues mulled it over. It did make some sense. Truthfully, Blues had seen more than a few stray cats in the cities, and though he didn’t know too much about them, he knew enough to know they were quite skittish creatures who didn’t tend to approach humans (or in their case, human-like beings) without being accustomed to their presence first.
“I think she’s saying she thinks they were abandoned by a human,” Blues said, and at Roll’s confirmatory nod he heard Rock let out a sad little “oh”. “It probably wasn’t that long ago either. With as loud as he is, he would’ve been-“ Blues cut himself off, remembering the rather sensitive hearts (figuratively) of his siblings. “He wouldn’t still be here,” he quietly finished. A part of him felt guilty, as if he were to blame for the way nature worked and he wasn’t simply relaying that knowledge to his more naive siblings.
“Do you think maybe we just missed whoever dropped them off here?” Roll asked, having now squatted down to pet behind the kitten’s ears. Truthfully, they had crossed paths with a few humans on their walk— fortunately, none of them could match the robots’ child-like base appearances with their much more (in)famous armored forms, and Roll wasn’t very recognizable to the public outside of roboticist nerds— and all of three of them would have been none the wiser to any human’s foul feline-related motives. “If we search, we might be able to find them before they get away,” Roll half-heartedly suggested.
“They’ll just throw it back out again,” truthfully, Blues was a bit startled by the harshness of his own tone. It seemed to spur Rock on though.
“We can’t just leave them here without help!” he said, looking between the both of them for agreement. When Rock met Roll’s eyes, though, he stopped and the two both smirked as they reached some sort of mutual understanding.
“No, no. No way, Rock!” Roll gesticulated x’s with her hands, but the venomless tone and mischievous glint in her eye gave away her excitement for whatever idea the boy had.
“We should adopt the kitten,” Rock blurted out anyway, finally clueing Blues in on their disagreement. “You know you want to, Roll!”
“I know! But… You know it’s just..” Roll kept trailing off and interrupting herself, seemingly struggling to find the right words. “It’s just not the responsible thing to do,” she finally settled on saying. “Right, Blues?”
Truthfully, Blues felt a little warmed that Roll turned to him as the “responsible” one. Sometimes, Blues felt like his life was a series of terrible, impulsive decisions that he lived on with pride—fine for him, but awful for a role model. Still, if his sister thought he was someone to look up to, then that must mean maybe he was doing something right. He couldn’t let her down!
Blues looked back to the kitten, and already he felt his resolve weaken. Logically, he knew that picking this kitten up off the ground and bringing it to home was irresponsible and impulsive, but he also logically knew that this kitten would die in an hour or so without their intervention. Truthfully, looking at the raggedy orange thing— worn down already from its abandonment but with nobody to turn to care for it as it needs to be— he found that he was overcome with the urge to take care of it. Hell, if Dr. Light didn’t let them keep it at home, then Blues knew he would care for the kitten in secret at that point.
“We can take them to Dr. Light and ask him,” Blues compromised, already scooping the kitten into his hands before the other two could react. He began walking off toward Light Labs again, but halted when he realized he didn’t hear the thudding of his siblings behind him. He turned his head to see the two were stunned were they stood at his switch-up. “Well? Aren’t you two coming or do I have to ask him myself?” Blues playfully asked, and that seemed to snap the duo out of their stupor.
“I want to be the one to ask! I got to see his face when he sees them!” “Nuh-uh! I should ask him first!” The two raced forward, seemingly unaware that Blues was still the one holding the kitten. He shook his head with a fond smirk, and continued after them at a much slower, steadier pace than they traveled. Truthfully, Blues quite liked this whole “being an older sibling” thing.
—————————
Dr. Light knew better than to fret, he really did, but he couldn’t help feeling just a twinge concerned that his children weren’t home yet. Of course he knew that whatever the world threw at them, the combined force of his triplets would be more than capable of handling it. Still, they were supposed to be here by now… His finger twitched by the communicator—
“C’mon, Light! Ain’t you supposed to be gettin’ work done instead of bein’ a worrywart?” Auto’s crass voice interrupted his thoughts. The good doctor let out a sigh.
“You’re right,” Dr. Light relented, turning back to the project on his table. Besides, he knew if he sent Rock or Roll a message, the kids would teleport back to the lab immediately and stay by his side— which kinda ruined the whole point of them spending time out to explore themselves. Normally Auto was quite nosy too, but ever since Roll had— rather firmly— given him orders to keep Light on track when she wasn’t around, he did his best to follow them. It just wasn’t in his little mechanical heart to disappoint her (nor was it in his heart to tank the scolding afterward).
#yeah it’s a fucking fanfic jumpscare. about the kitten I drew that one time#it’s a WIP and it prolly won’t be finished cuz I kinda hate it#I wrote it cuz I was depressed and thought it’d make me feel better but eventually I got stuck#maybe I’ll add more to it one day#I have no idea how to write these characters </3#my fanfic :)
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I’m so glad Vel’s with Nora. Poor baby going thru so much…I feel like the wisdom and company of a gentle bun will do her a lot of good in their Vacuo arc. It’s like how Weiss is so sensitive to people and gives amazing insights. Velvet is that too in her own unique ways.
#fooze#rwby#rwby fanart#velvet scarlatina#rwby velvet#nora valkyrie#rwby Nora#rwby neon#neon katt#rwby coco#coco adel#y’all dig the new whiskers? that was Ethan’s doing. everyone say thank you to him#I might add onto it one day. the two out patrolling in the evening having a talk#or maybe just hanging around a bonfire and saying nothing#just the quiet comfort being shared by two souls during a rare moment of peace#hm. might be more the route I’ll go. wordless#also neon gay as fuck
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More Clothing Practice ft. Kazurei ❤️💙
Happy Buddy Daddies Friday!
#I did randomized color palettes for them too#because why not#also Rei smiling and talking more after they adopt miri and get married is very important to me#the most fashionable daddies at daycare#they’re on their way to pick miri up from school here#kazuki loves listening to him talk#he infodumps about the things he likes and Kaz just watches and listens like 😍#anyway happy buddy daddies Friday!#I want to keep practice clothing so if anyone has any ideas lmk#preferably like everyday/normal formal wear#also every time I draw them I add more and more piercings#maybe one day I’ll make like a piercing/tattoo hc post#kazurei#buddy daddies#buddy daddies fanart#my art#reikazu#kazurei fanart#reikazu fanart#zsart
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Thanks to that one dream from last week I’ve been delusional enough to believe that Damian “no one shall take advantage of the Wayne family name or they’ll perish” Wayne and Kyle “shamelessly uses the Wayne’s Family name to get discounts at fancy high end art stores” Rayner would get along if they had to team up.
#yes this is from that one jaykyle dream#they have to save Jason for some reason after he was kidnapped#I need to write this fic some day#maybe I’ll add duke for some more chaos#damian wayne#robin#kyle rayner#green lantern#jaykyle
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some of the sillies!!
(unfortunately i cannot fit the kadie drawing i also did D: )
#GRRR tumblr let me add more images!!!! there is skatie waiting#some of these could’ve come out better than they did but they’re only doodles so they get a pass#originally part of something bigger. idk maybe one day i’ll finish that ‘something bigger’#for now…#nowen#trody#gweoff#jomaria#bridgney#nichulia#lesharold#leshindsay#harody#codeather#jesus christ cody you have so many bitches!!! give some other people a chance!!#td cody#td gwen#td trent#td leshawna#td lindsay#td jo#td anne maria#td nichelle#td julia#td noah#td owen#td courtney#td bridgette#td geoff#total drama
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Chris Harms modeling at the Underground Catwalk in Berlin
July 12th, 2007
Photos, in order, by: Michael Wittig, Zoe Delay, sage-club.de, Axel Schmidt, Alexander Hassenstein
Clips from a news reportage on the event by Blitz on Sat1 [x]
#chris harms#lord of the lost#I saw photo 6 randomly one day and needed to figure out what the hell the context was#literally nothing i hate more than not having context 😭#anyway this was a fun one#there was also an after party where the pleasures played#and this was not the only time he modeled in this event second time was in 2009 w his wife#there was also an after party but with lotl there#but i’ll post those another day there’s way less of that#There were also technically more photos of this but tumblr limit and he was mostly in the background#maybe i add them later
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It’s finished
Now I have a little needle holder.
I can also give them a lollipop and idk I thought the curved needle would look like a cutlass but it it just doesn’t
#hollow knight#hollow knight fanart#haz art#Sewing#kind of#The front part of their cape keeps breaking off so I just decided to leave it be#Maybe I’ll add on more clay one day but it feels like more trouble than it’s worth#described
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F frame muscle preset wip
#this is like version 20 I think idk#I didn’t fix the sharp edge on the side of the chest honestly it’s not even that noticeable#the troubleshooting has been so annoying but I love the result#preset is pretty versatile if want lean you got it if you want bulky you can if you have two specific body sliders#maybe I’ll make variations one day but this is good for now#speaking of sliders when I figure out how many body sliders I use I add some recommendations for sliders to make the preset look better#as well as recommend some muscle skin overlays#sometime later I’ll probably ask for like three people to test the preset in game but I still gotta figure some others things out first#last two pics is just default ea muscle skin texture through the side sliders#sorry for all the bikinis just needed to show the body without it being nude :/#oh and also it dawned me that this coupled with a flat chest top would be great for more body variation#that she hulk sim is fucking cool 🗣️🗣️#mr.txt
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Please Stay
hi… sorry about this. i mentioned about a month ago i was writing something outside of my comfort zone along the lines of fear. so here it is.
quarter quell AU
content warnings: major character death, canon-typical violence
read this in ao3 here
Katniss.
Her name rang through his head, managing to break through the aggressive clicks from the beetles they were fighting. At least “beetle” was the closest word Peeta could associate with the insect. These beetles were mutts, a creation of the Capitol’s design. With bodies as big as house cats' and pincers over a foot long, they were no feat of nature. Their shells were so strong that their weapons were nearly useless against the insects unless the blades were aimed at the beetles’ joints, which seemed to be left unshielded to aid in their mobility.
Katniss.
He can’t believe the gamemakers had managed to spin the arena on them again. He figured Beetee’s plan had satisfied all conditions necessary to buy them some time: it brought enough excitement to keep the Capitol citizens’ entertained while ending these unpopular Games as soon as possible. Was it not personal enough for them? Not gruesome enough? What, if anything, is ever enough for them?
They had spun it while they were close to starting the plan. It turned out Beetee and Katniss were right: the outer edge of the arena was able to spin as well. The centrifugal force of the outside spinning had sent their group barreling down the jungle and back to the sand of the beach. Their bodies had been launched into trees and rocks, leaving them bruised, bloody, and sore from head to toe. Any progress they had made in proceeding toward the midnight lightning tree was lost. Like before, they had to choose a wedge at random and hope it would be free of horrors until they regained their bearings on where they were on the clock face.
Johanna had made him choose which direction he wanted to go since he was the most familiar with the map.
Katniss.
She was all he could think about as he swung his machete into the unguarded area that would loosely be called the beetle’s neck. Johanna found her stride in using her axe to decapitate the beetles in rapid fashion, and Finnick was able to dual-wield his tridents to kill multiple beetles at once. Beetee sat on the ground between them, slinging a knife at any beetles that managed to make it past the two skilled fighters towards him. Their speed was impressive, but it was hardly fast enough to defeat the insects at the rate they were spawning.
Katniss seemed to be struggling against the mutts’ body armor. With no definitive eye location for her to strike and with little leverage from standing on the ground, her weapon of choice wasn’t ideal for the situation. From the corner of his eye, Peeta saw three arrows ricochet off of the backs of beetles into the winding trees.
“Katniss, climb if you can! Go!” he shouted at her as he sliced through two mutts in fast fashion. This is the quickest he’s moved since his heart stopped.
She was at his back, protecting the other side. He wanted to turn his attention to her and help her move up the tree, but the beetles were populating at such quick speeds that he could hardly pull his attention from the distance of his arm span in front of him.
At the speed they were generating, he was pretty sure the gamemakers were seeking one outcome: death.
Just as the thought crossed his mind, he heard her yelp.
“Katniss!” he yelled as loud as he could. As if on cue, the beetles started retreating from whatever hell they came from.
When Peeta turned around, he saw her. The fighting had shifted their position, and he was ten meters away.
She looked so small, her body dwarfed in its current position. Her knees drawn up to her chest as she laid on her left side, her eyes trained upward. Her chest heaved furiously with every breath. Her gray eyes panicked as they searched his. Her lithe hands desperately clutched her neck in an attempt to try to stop the bleeding from where the giant beetle-mutt’s pincers had severed her throat.
Peeta ran to her, his movements as fast as his false leg would allow. He kneeled right in front of her, and her face never stopped watching his.
“You’re OK. You’re OK. You’re gonna be OK,” Peeta repeated incessantly as he sprang into action. He ripped his undershirt off his back and tore the fabric into a strips he could tie around her neck to stop the bleeding.
When Peeta went to apply the compress, Katniss’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head frantically. She didn’t dare to make a sound.
“Katniss, please. I can handle the looks of it. Please, let me help you,” Peeta pleaded with her. When she shook her head again, he saw streams of blood rush between the cracks between her fingers at the pulse rate of her slowing heart.
Desperate to help, Peeta went to remove her hands so he could quickly tie the fabric and stop the blood that was flowing freely from her neck. Katniss finally tried to protest his actions, but all she managed was an aggressive gurgling noise.
Peeta frantically searched her face, both terrified into action and paralyzed with fear. Katniss produced a singular cough that sprayed his face and chest with her hot blood.
Peeta’s head pounded. His face was hot from the weather and her blood and his tears. He went to move her hands one final time, but she responded with an almost imperceivable shake of her head. They had both faced death enough to know when it was inevitable.
He perched his body over her’s. His tears fell onto her, the tendrils of water leaving streaks in the dark crimson red that coated her hands and neck. Heavy tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.
“Please, Katniss. Please don’t die for me. Please stay,” he began, as sobs wracked through his body. His shoulders lurched forward as he watched her face scrunch in pain and agony and sorrow. The tears in the corners of her eyes finally rolled down the sides of her cheeks.
When she relaxed her face, her eyes met his sharply, the silver of her eyes rapidly transforming into a dull gray. Sorry, she mouthed to him, more tears trailing down her cheeks.
“Katniss, no. No. Don’t be sorry - please. Don’t be sorry. I wouldn’t be here without you. I couldn’t have done this without you. I can’t do it without you,” Peeta pleaded, his sobs pausing so words could escape him as quickly as possible, “I need you. I love you. I love you. Damn it, Katniss, I love you so much,” he finished through a choked sob.
Peeta could see she was trying to hold on for him, but the graying of her skin and the slowing of her heavy breaths told him his words were spoken on borrowed time. Her eyes searched his face again, saying everything she couldn’t.
As the heaving in her chest became dangerous, appearing painful, Katniss released the grip of her right hand from her neck. Using her last remaining strength, she extended her arm toward Peeta and placed it over the left side of his chest. Love, she mouthed to him.
She brought her bloodied hand up to his soaked cheek, and he clutched her hand with both of his. They stared at one another until the grip of her left hand loosened on her neck and her eyelids fluttered closed, shielding her silver eyes from the world for the last time. A second later, her canon fired.
#im sorry#i wasn’t originally gonna post this#but i figured i worked on it so i should post it#i was gonna add more past this ending#about peeta’s response to what happened#but felt this was an appropriate cut off#maybe i’ll expand it one day#but this is emotionally taxing to write and not my favorite idea tbh!!#even though i wrote it!#so that may be awhile away if it ever happens#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#everlark#the hunger games#catching fire#everlark one shot#everlark fanfiction#jess writes
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nathaniel’s birthday being 19th of jan, which is the same birthday as edgar allan poe, the eponym of edgar allan university, the place neil was sold to.
edgar allan’s wife was called virginia, EAU is based in west virginia. poe and virginia lived in baltimore, but often moved between there philadelphia and new york. poe died in baltimore.
like neil, poe’s mother was english. his father was american. he could speak french, and some sources say he had passable knowledge of german too. he was abused by his father.
the night before he died, poe is said to have called out the name ‘reynolds’ repeatedly. he died of alcohol poisoning.
and of course, the obvious - the ravens at EAU, edgar allan poe’s most famous poem being The Raven, and their stadium is called evermore, a play on nevermore
quoth the raven nevermore
#the parallels are something i noticed when i first read the series but now im using tumblr i figured id share#there’s probably loads more references but when i first read the series i was actually studying poe so they jumped out at me#maybe i’ll add to this if i see some more#the last one with him calling out reynolds#might be me reaching#but obviously the common link is alison’s surname#and with poe dying of an alcohol overdose a day later it just reminded me of seth and allison#seth calling out to allison before he dies#obviously i doubt he’d call her reynolds but that’s where i was going with that one#if u were wondering#aftg#edgar allan poe#all for the game
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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☽ imagine baking with your f/o ☾
not the messy kind, but the:
„we slow dance while they’re baking in the oven“
„we make cookies with those cute lil gingerbread / snowman forms“
„we clean up the kitchen together“
„wait let me help you with that“ as they take the tray / bowl out of your hands
„can you hand me the eggs / milk / flour / sugar“
„oh you have some icing on your cheek“ as they gently brush it off, maybe even lick it from their fingers (who knows 👀)
„we have tea / coffee / hot chocolate breaks“
„we silently vibe to the music together“
kinda types yk ?
i‘m tired of reading „haha floor in your face fuxker“. some f/os are pretty clean and don’t make a mess in the kitchen and i think we should appreciate them more! 😤
⛔️ READ DNI BEFORE INTERACTING ⛔️
#maybe one day i’ll add more to that#everyone feel free to share ur thoughts on this btw#or imagines#i need cute interactions like that in my life .#cliff writes#f/o imagines#romantic f/o#platonic f/o#selfship imagines#imagines ☾
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Jazzed up my day 3 drawing :>
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hi i have an art request because i can't draw but like near in like pagan apparel?? i headcanon him as like agnostic pagan and like i really wanted to see him in like a pentacle necklace with crystals and like witchy symbols using his tarot or just anything pagan!near really
Hi anon I’m SUPER sorry this took me two months to finish!! Honestly I didn’t really have a proper idea of what I wanted the final result to look like and I don’t feel like I put enough emphasis on the pagan aspects of the drawing and generally I don’t think I did your headcanon justice :( Regardless, I tried my hardest with this and I hope you still like it!!!
#if i was better at perspective i could have made the tarot card the main focus 😭😭 that would have looked so cool#sigh… maybe one day i’ll redraw this#i was also originally planning to add more to this (eg a whole tarot deck rather than just one singular card. also crystals)#but they ended up getting scrapped because i didn’t like the original pose he was in#ask#death note#death note fanart#near#death note near#near death note#nate river#pagan!near#death note headcanon#art request#chara’s art#just in time for his birthday too actually
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.
#ok minor stress rant that I’ll delete later but just have to vent#I house sat for two weeks for this professor and it was the most stressful and intensive dog sitting I’ve ever done#because they failed to mention all three dogs are rescues with severe medical issues including heart failure#it was. a lot.#I finally get back home yesterday after making the house spotless and I guess I figured I’d get paid yesterday which was maybe naive#instead I find out someone charged $500 to my card fraudulently so I had to get my card frozen#so I’ve had no access to ANY money since yesterday#last time this happened I called my bank and they sorted it out quickly and while on the phone they got me a new card and set it up#and even helped me add it to my digital wallet#this time I called and the girl sounded so confused and said she issued me a new card but to check out their app and I could do all that#except every time I use the app it says the system is down. so I still have no way to access any of my money.#keep in mind this is a hometown credit union so I can’t just run to a branch and pick one up#so I am now on day two without access to money#to make matters more annoying the prof said they’d reach out today to set up payment.#I waited all day until 5 pm and nothing? so I texted to ask if they got home alright or if I can do anything else#and he thanked me and said no I did amazing and it’s much appreciated#and then just. ended the conversation.#like???#sir you put me through HELL for two weeks. I had to give your dogs three baths because of the stuff they got into#you failed to mention your dogs’ complicated medical histories or that one is currently dying#like is it. is it so absurd to expect to be paid the day you say you’re going to pay me#not like I could access it anyway.#I hate this
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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