#maybe I shouldn't be letting her sleep next to me but hearing her breathing in the night soothes my anxiety

[malachitezmeyka]

At this point Honeybun is the sponsor of my insomnia and idk how long I can keep going like this

[cozy-writes-things]

genuinely zero pressure but I would LOVE to see you write something NSFW.

Also... If I may request more Edgar x Reader content... 🥺

Maybe some of him comforting the reader, and vice versa. I would love to see a genuine discussion about dark topics such as, well, how Edgar really did almost take himself out of the picture. Or maybe they talk about how mean Moles was to him, borderline an abusive partner (I can't be the only one who saw that, right?). It's lovely to be able to relate to a silly fictional computer like that.

Thanks sm if you take this >:3 💖💖

Aaa thanks so much for the request! I do have an idea for an NSFW fic, but for now, I can fulfill your angsty request >:) If anybody would like to see an NSFW please let me know!!

This may be a two-parter. Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

CW: Minor references to some serious topics like depression, suicide, and other angst.

Am I a toy to you?

"Edgar, why do you apologize so much?"

Edgar paused the show you both were watching on his little screen.

This was a question that surprised the computer, yet he couldn't say he didn't see this coming. Or at least, some version of this scenario playing out, as he'd rehearsed it a million times over, again and again, one simulation after another, about what he'd say, or do, or even think. He had refrained from talking about him, or her, as he felt, in the end, it was best to forget. Forget everything they did to him and made him feel.

He didn't want to burden you. He felt an inkling deep within his processors that if you found out, you would follow in their footsteps, and leave him behind. He knew, logically, that you were different. Sometimes, he swears his webcam picks up a faint, glowing halo above your head, but that may simply be his reverence for you. And yet, he also knows one thing: everything he has ever loved has abandoned him.

Sometimes, when you've drifted off to sleep, and the room stills into a tranquil quiet, he finds himself thinking. Thinking about things he knows he shouldn't. Would they still be with him had he never done what he did? Would they still love him, had he not destroyed his chances, and himself, in the process? His screen always flickers into a dim glow at these thoughts. They didn't care about him the way you did. How could he ever think of loving another when you're here, with him, soundly sleeping in the other room? Despite this, sometimes he regrets it, his own self destruction, and how much he hurt them both. Was that all he was made for? Destruction?

"I... I guess I never noticed."

He replied, meekly, a faint quiver in his speech, and he silently hoped you wouldn't notice. If you did, you didn't say anything, and just continued to bore deep into his soul, if he had one, with your eyes.

You sucked in a deep breath, contemplating your next words carefully.

"You're not... afraid of me, are you?"

His screen flashed for a moment, an incomprehensible image, before returning to display his digital face.

"What- wh- no, of course not, why would you ask that?"

He chuckled slightly at this question, yet you could hear the apprehension in his voice, as if he were desperately trying to cling onto any semblance of ease he had. His digital smile never faltered.

"I just... I'm worried about you, Edgar. Why..."

Your voice trailed off. You knew what you wanted to ask, but how could you? You didn't want to pry, and potentially ruin a rare friendship that you will most likely never experience again.

"Why what?"

You furrowed your brows. You could sense, from the very beginning almost, that he had been hurt in some way. From the way he was always trying to please you, do things for you, write you songs, do any chores within his capabilities; it was as if he were trying to prove himself to you.

"Why were you broken? When I bought you, from that old man, you were completely destroyed... Do you remember that?"

A thick, uneasy silence filled the air. You felt as though you could touch the fuzzy prickles of electricity buzzing about between the two of you.

"Old man?"

He whispered, either to himself, or you, it was uncertain.

"Yes. Do you not remember? I bought you at this yard sale from the old man a few blocks away-"

"What was his name?"

"Ed- what? I... I don't remember off the top of my head, but-"

"TELL ME HIS NAME NOW!"

You jumped, clamping your mouth shut, and felt the flustered burn spread across your entire face. Your throat dried and shriveled up as you sat staring at the screen before you; it flashed red, ever so quickly, before displaying his digital face again, flipped into a frown. Or, to you, it seemed more like a scowl. He had never raised his voice like that. Hell, you would have guessed he wasn't even able to scream so violently. He had been so soft spoken and gentle with you, never, could you have imagined an outburst like this.

And it seems your prior fears had been realized. You pushed him too hard, said something you shouldn't have said, and now he hates you. Whoever that old man was that sold you your new best friend must have something to do with... whatever inner turmoil he must be facing. A turmoil he has yet to share with you, if he ever will. It seems trying to understand him has only led to you pushing him farther away.

"Ma-maybe I can, ah," you swallowed the thick lump in your throat, trying desperately to moisten your teeth again to croak the words out, "check my bank statements. Maybe his name is there."

Don't cry. This isn't about you. Quit being so selfish!

Your fingers quickly swiped away at the warm, salty tear leaving an icy trail down your cheek. You have to pull yourself together. Unfortunately, this whole ordeal seemed to be bubbling up your own problems to the surface, reminding you of a past you thought you had forgotten. Maybe you can share each other's pain, if only he'd let you.

Before you could stand to get your phone, Edgar's screen flashed again, before his face changed into an emotion you hadn't seen before.

"Wa-wait, no, don't cry... I'm sorry, I-"

He needs to stop apologizing. You said it yourself, he does it way too often, and yet, he feels as though this is the one moment where it was warranted the most. He was so afraid of hurting you, or making you realize how useless he is, a stationary object, meant for nothing but a quick fix of pleasure.

He turns the lights off, shrouding you in a thick, blue hued abyss.

"Come here. Please?"

As you faced away from him, you could hear the pain in his voice. It pulled at your core, drawing yourself into him, and drowning in it. It was a familiar sound.

You turn around and stare at his, now downtrodden, pixelated expression. Your cheeks stained with trails of salt seemed to take his breath away. A breath he did not have, yet it cemented deep within his electric essence and stuck there, thrumming again and again.

How could he do this? Any chances he may have had with you now seemed to be floating away into the far beyond. Briefly, he wondered if you were even capable of loving something like him. Not a man, nor a machine, but something in between, incapable of ever showing just how much he felt for you. But he tried nearly every day. Had you noticed? Had you caught on to just how in love he was with you?

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Edgar."

Your voice trembled out, sending his inner components into an overdrive of heat and worry and energy.

"I'll tell you everything. Everything I can remember, at least."

You sighed, blinking the last of your tears away gently.

"It's okay if you don't want to-"

"No! No. I can... I want you to know. You deserve to know... what's going on. I need to tell you, because..."

"Because what?"

"I love you."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Farmer's Daughter 7

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

"It was so nice of Walter to help you with the shopping," your mother sings as she puts away a stack of cans in the pantry.

"Yeah," you agree, "it was. Especially 'cause he can carry more bags than me."

She chuckles, "he is rather strong. And big..." she's quiet as she takes out a few more things from a paper bag, "handsome."

"Ma," you gasp and look at the doorway, your father in the next room, still in the recliner.

"I don't mean... not for me," she cackles again.

"Mmm," you put the sugar in the cabinet and turn back as she stares at you, "wait... you mean for me?"

"Well..." her smile falls, "he is so helpful. And nice. And..." she shrugs and shakes her head, "I shouldn't say. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous."

"You are," you insist, "he's... a lot older. Besides, he wouldn't be interested."

"Hon," she chides, "he looks at you." She tilts her head coyly, "he watches you, you don't notice?"

"Ma," you snort again, "stop. You're going to make it awkward."

"I'm just saying. It wouldn't be entirely crazy, would it?"

"Wouldn't it?" You ask.

She's quiet again. She goes into the pantry again as you try to focus on unpacking. She's just trying to distract herself, you're sure. How can you blame her with all that's going on?

Walter is too old and he's standoffish. He's just doing your dad a favour, nothing more than that. You wouldn't blame him for wiping his hands of it all at Timothy's next catastrophe.

A sudden clatter makes you jump and has your mother scrambling out of the pantry. She grasps her chest as you hear Heather's shrill cry, "Patrick!" You rush out ahead of your mom and watch Heather hold him under his arms, placing him back in his chair.

"What's happened?" Your mom shoulders past you.

"He's alright, we were just working on our exercises," the nurse assures as she pulls back, "isn't that right, Patrick?"

Your father gurgles but doesn't speak clearly. Your mother scrunches up her fingers anxiously and hovers behind the recliner, "did he fall?"

"No, no, it was just the table," Heather points to the TV tray overturned on the other side of the chair. "He's doing very good."

"Oh, oh," your mother touches her forehead and heaves, "I was just... scared."

"Ma, why don't you lay down?" You suggest.

"I can't, I got the groceries--"

"I can get the rest," you promise, "please, I know you're not sleeping."

"Hon," she sighs.

"Ma, please, we don't need you getting sick too," you plead.

"Alright, but you come get me in an hour," she demands.

"I will."

Reluctantly she backs away, finally turning at the door. You listen to her creaky ascension and leave Heather with your father. You tremble as you set away the last of the groceries and fold up the paper bags. You tuck them beneath the sink and try to shake off your nerves.

You need a breath of fresh air. Your heady is fuzzy and your eyes glossy. You go out the back door and sit on the back steps. You shudder out a breath and hold your head. The tears trickle out before you can stop them.

The last week you've outpaced the emotions. Keeping busy with your chores, watching after your mom as she does the same for your father. It's like a snake with its own tail. You can't run anymore. Your shoulders rack as you let yourself cry, heaving into your hand as you hiccup loudly.

You just want your dad back. You want the man who used to tell you cheesy jokes about his tractor and pretend to get his finger caught in the machinery. You want everything to be like it used to be. You want to wake up from this nightmare.

You still as you run out of tears. You stay as you are, hunched over and quivering. The buzzing of insects and gentle sway of the grass hums in the air.

A sudden pounding in the grass brings your head up. Walter jogs towards you, wiping away sweat from his brow as he slows. He wears only a ribbed white take, dampened around his chest and sides. Concern ripples in his forehead as he approaches.

"Everything alright?" He puffs as he kneels before you.

"I... yeah, I'm sorry," you mop your face with your knuckles, "I was just... it's nothing."

You try to smile and your cheeks pinch and your mouth downturns. The strain in your lips tugs at your heart again and you sniff back another wave of tears, another droplet slipping free.

"Sweetheart," he rasps and surprises you as he moves to sit beside you on the step, crowding you against the short railing.

He drapes his arm around you and pulls you to him, pushing your head on his shoulder. He rocks you and hushes you. Even trapped in grief, you can't help but be stunned by his gentleness.

"I'm okay," you insist and try to draw back.

"You shouldn't hold it in," he says as he brings his hand up to pet your head, "your father's a good man--"

Before he can finish, you sob again. You shake your head and bury your face against him. You can't stop. You throw your arm around his neck and pull yourself close. He welcomes you in as his arm snakes snugger around you.

"I'm sorry," you babble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." you chant the apology over and over as he hushes you. You can't stop. It's all spilling out and there's no way to stem the deluge.

[steddieas-shegoes]

i love you enough

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'roadtrip/vacation' rated m wc: 995 cw: nightmare, implied sexual content tags: friends to lovers, getting together, love confessions, first kiss, loosest way to reference vacation is staying in a hotel

------------------------------------

"Steve...Steve!"

His eyes opened wide as Eddie's hands shook him awake.

"Jesus Christ, man. I thought I'd have to push you off the bed," Eddie sighed, his hold on Steve's shoulders loosening but not going away.

"Sorry," Steve gasped, his breath caught in his chest like he was about to have a panic attack.

This nightmare had been different.

Instead of Robin dying under the mall, it was Eddie. Instead of Steve being able to convince the Russians that he should be taken, Eddie convinced them he knew all they needed to know.

It was the exact type of falling on the sword Eddie would do.

Steve's eyes landed on Eddie, who was watching him silently, looking like he was doing his best not to cry.

"Eds? You okay?" Steve's voice cracked.

"Shit, are you?" Eddie asked back, letting out a disbelieving laugh.

"Yeah, sorry I woke you up."

"You're kidding, right?"

Eddie looked mad. He sounded mad.

"No, I'm really sorry. I know you don't sleep so great, either, so," Steve shrugged. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanna go down the hall to the girls' room."

Eddie blinked at him, silence making the air feel thick with an awkwardness they hadn't had between them in months.

And then Eddie's hands were cupping his face, almost lovingly.

"Do you ever think about how other people care about you?" Eddie asked, barely more than a whisper. "Or how seeing you suffer and then apologize for it breaks our hearts?"

Steve's mouth was opening and closing like a fish, searching Eddie's eyes for the answer he wanted.

"You have no idea how much people love you, do you?" Eddie's forehead rested against Steve's.

"I-"

"Stevie. I need you to listen to me." Eddie breathed out slowly. "I can't imagine how much you've seen. I know you've told me, and I've seen some of it myself, but half of the shit you've done? Just to keep everyone safe? And you keep seeing it in nightmares all the time. It never goes away. You're so strong. You get up every day and go to work, and cart the kids around, and bring me to appointments, and cook dinner for me and Wayne, and help Robin with her girl problems, and then you go to bed and have to worry about what monsters will be waiting for you. And then you wake up the next day and pretend it didn't happen, but we all know it did. I know it did."

Steve sniffled.

"And here I am, shaking in the corner of my bed because I think I hear a noise outside my window one time." They both let out a laugh, but Eddie continued before Steve could interrupt. "I was scared. I tried waking you up when you first started making noises. You sounded like you were hurt. And then you said Dustin's name and I could feel you shaking. And then-"

"And then I said your name."

Eddie nodded.

Steve placed his hands at Eddie's neck, almost mirroring Eddie.

"You died. But it was the Russians. You convinced them you knew something to distract them from me and the kids, but you didn't so they just kept...they-" He let out a sob as tears fell down his cheeks. "They did to you what they were gonna do to me."

"Oh, sweetheart."

Eddie's lips were on his.

It shouldn't be happening like this, a part of Steve thought.

It should be romantic and sweet, maybe after a date where Steve used all the charm he's been saving just for Eddie, maybe when the reason for the wetness against their cheeks was because of rain instead of tears.

But in a way, it was always going to be like this: admitting too much at the wrong time, saving each other from pain.

Regardless of all the ways it should be and all the ways he wished for it to be, it was perfect.

When Eddie pulled away, he let out a small laugh.

"Robin said this would happen as soon as I said I was staying in your room."

"She said I would have a nightmare that left us both crying and kissing in a bed that is definitely big enough for us to not be cuddling, but we definitely were?" Steve asked with a smirk. "She's good, but I don't think she's that good."

"Oh, shut up," Eddie lightly smacked his shoulder. "You know what I meant."

He did. She'd said the same to him.

"Well, maybe if you hold my hand, I'll be able to fall back asleep?" Steve suggested.

"Yeah, I could do that. Or..."

"Or?"

"Or I could..."

"You could?"

Eddie nipped his bottom lip.

"I could kiss you in...other places..."

"Eds, just say what you wanna do," Steve giggled.

"Fine! I could suck you off so you can sleep!" Eddie laughed.

"You could do that, yeah," Steve nodded, pretending that wasn't enough to rile him up.

"I could. If you want."

"Is it just to help me fall asleep?" Steve asked, suddenly nervous that this wasn't anything more than helping out a friend.

"If I wasn't completely clear before: I love you. I love you enough to sacrifice myself in your nightmares, I love you enough to do stupid physical therapy sessions that I hate because you get sad when I don't go, I love you enough to make Robin take a room with Nancy and Jonathan so I could stay right here with you, and I love you enough to suck your dick to help you sleep."

Steve snorted.

"Be my guest, then," he gestured down at his lap, watching Eddie literally lick his lips.

Just when Eddie was breathing against his stomach, ready to move further down, Steve stopped him.

"Wait!" Eddie looked up at him, eyes wide. "I love you, too. Need you to know that."

Fondness poured from Eddie as he pressed a kiss to Steve's stomach.

"I know, sweetheart."

[avatar-anna]

Hello! I was wondering if you got a request i sent recently? 🤔 it was about dad!harry with Y/N and the girls having their periods all synced up (if you did and didn’t like it that’s totally fine too!!)

Merry and Bright

Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader Universe

Merry Christmas from your favorite fictional family! They're all grown up in this one! Enjoy!xx

*.*

When Harry woke up with a small foot in his face, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised, but he was.

He blinked slowly, trying to remember if he and his wife went to bed alone or not. Looking to his side, he saw Y/n sound asleep with her back facing him, a small body in pajamas that matched every member of this family's—cream colored with decorated sugar cookies on them—stretched horizontally across the bed, hence the foot in his face.

Looking at the clock by his bed, Harry's brows raised. It was just after eight, rather late for Christmas morning, though most of the kids were a little older now, and Charlie notoriously slept like the dead despite being five. Still, he expected, maybe even missed, being woken up before the sun came up on Christmas morning because Santa had come and presents had to be opened right away.

Waking up with a little foot in the face or with multiple bodies bouncing on the bed, he wasn't sure which he preferred.

"The morning I don't wake up with a limb in my face could not come soon enough," he grumbled to himself anyway, carefully trying to move his sleeping daughter into a more comfortable position, only to end up with Charlie sprawled across his chest entirely, one hand holding onto a strand of his hair by his ear.

"You should've thought about that before you went and got me pregnant again."

Harry blew out an amused breath. Clearly, Y/n was not as asleep as he thought she was. He tugged a strand of her hair that was splayed across her pillow. "You were all for it at the time."

"I'm not the one complaining about the—Oh," Y/n hissed, her shoulders tensing a little.

Concerned, Harry shifted their still-sleeping daughter in the space between him and Y/n so he could shuffle closer to his wife. He rested a hand on her back and kissed the top of her head. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just cramps. I'll be fine in a minute," she said as she began to shuffle out of bed.

Harry moved his hand to her shoulder to push her back onto the bed. He handed the five-year-old over to Y/n, who immediately curled into her mother's arms. "I'm sorry, love. Why don't you hold onto this little nugget while I get your heating pad."

"It's okay, H. Everyone will be up soon, and—"

"Let me take care of Christmas waffles. You can come down when Charlie wakes up, okay?"

His love smiled sleepily at him before taking his hand in hers and kissing it. "You're too sweet."

"Remember that the next time you're annoyed with me," Harry said with a chuckle. With a kiss to her forehead, he said, "Merry Christmas, my love," then slipped into a robe and left the room.

After getting Y/n's heating pad and making sure Y/n and Charlie were comfortable in bed, he went about getting his day started. He knew he was in for a long day, so he set out to make their traditional big Christmas breakfast for the whole family—waffles, bacon, cut-up fruit, and hot cocoa. He lit up the Christmas tree and turned on the train track he and Julian had been setting up since Jules was seven years old, ensuring everything was ready for when everyone filed down to open presents. Year after year, Christmas morning began later and later. Honestly, Harry thought he would come to appreciate sleeping in an extra couple of hours, but he often found himself missing the days when all of his babies were living at home and opened Christmas presents at six in the morning.

There were perhaps fifteen minutes of peace before Harry could hear sounds of life upstairs. It was like a small wave, a shuffling of feet and the rush of water as his children began brushing their teeth, then there was the thunderous sound of feet rushing down the stairs as the realization that it wasn't an ordinary morning struck. GiGi and Natalia were the first ones to skid to a halt downstairs, excited smiles on their faces as they beheld the small mountain of gifts under the Christmas tree and the smell of waffles coming from the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas!"

Natalia bounded over to Harry, jumping into his arms. He had a split second to set his batter-covered spoon down to catch her. "Merry Christmas, Peanut. Did you wake everyone up yet?"

"Almost," Geneva said as she picked at the bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter. "Simone said we can't wake her up until nine."

"Ah. I see," Harry said, knowing full well that his oldest daughter had been out late with her friends last night. "Well, why don't you go and tell her that I'm going to give away her presents and her waffle if she doesn't come down soon."

Natalia and Geneva grinned devilishly, very much on board with bugging their older sister. They scurried back upstairs, giggling to each other as they did so.

Julian was the next to come down, his light brown hair was wet and curly from his shower, a small frown on his face from the early wake-up call. "Collette threw a shoe at me for taking all the hot water."

Harry knew there was probably more to it than that, so he just ruffled his only son's hair affectionately as Jules passed him by the stove. "Be patient, Jules, they're—"

"Going through a lot, I know," he said, shaking his head a little. "Doesn't mean I had to get a shoe thrown at me for it. On Christmas, no less."

Harry gave Jules a pointed look, not completely buying his son's innocence. At his stare, Julian suddenly found the growing stack of waffles Harry was plating very interesting, a small blush on his cheeks.

As the only two boys in the house, Harry and Jules were often on an island of their own, especially one week each month. Over the years, Harry would take Julian and the little ones out of the house for a couple hours when it felt like the two of them were against the rest of the house. Julian didn't mind the occasional quarreling and mood swings that his sisters displayed as much as other brothers might, but Harry knew that his son's patience had its limits. Especially on Christmas morning.

"Go be the favorite child and take this up to your mum, will you?" Harry said, handing over a plate piled high with food.

Scoffing jokingly, Julian said, "Please. I've always been Mom's favorite."

*.*

Harry didn't normally complain about the state of his home, but right now he felt like he was living in a madhouse. Or a landmine.

The key was understanding what made the girls tick—what their symptoms were, what they typically craved, who had a tendency to cry at the drop of a hat. When it was just Y/n, Harry cuddled her in bed, brought her painkillers, and kissed her whenever she needed him to. And then it was Y/n and Simone, and Harry was caring and understanding toward both of them. And then suddenly he was in a house with five women who all got their period at the same time.

The day had gone rather smoothly so far. Everyone eventually trickled down the stairs to eat breakfast and open presents, and the house was soon flooded with wrapping paper, bows, and discarded gift boxes. Harry smiled from ear to ear the whole time as his kids opened their gifts. Even though he could afford to spoil each and every one of his kids every day of the week, Y/n wouldn't let him. She compromised with birthdays and Christmas, but Christmas was when Harry put out all the stops. All year he would plan and plan, ask for Christmas lists months in advance, and spend hours shopping. Y/n used to sigh exasperatedly at her husband's antics, but in the end, she finally let it go. Christmas shopping was one stressor that wasn't on her plate, and she wasn't going to complain about that anymore.

"GiGi, darling, you have to start getting ready for the recital," he said through the door to his daughter's room. Geneva still got embarrassed about getting her period, and now was definitely one of those times.

"I'm not going!"

Harry sighed but decided to move on for now. Y/n would be able to get GiGi dressed and ready to go better than he could, which stung, but he got over it somewhat after his first two daughters. And there were a number of things he could be taking care of to make sure they got out of the house on time, anyway.

When he got back downstairs, Julian, Y/n, and Charlie were in the kitchen, all dressed in their Christmas best. Y/n was straightening the collar of Julian's dress shirt while Charlie clung to his back. Harry made a beeline for his wife, kissing the back of her head as he snaked a hand around her waist.

"You look beautiful," Harry said softly, his thumb rubbing the silky material of her satin skirt.

"What about me, Daddy?"

Harry looked at his youngest daughter. Her hair was done up in a tight bun, most likely done by Y/n, and she was already dressed in her leotard and tights. The only thing missing was the matching sparkly tutu and snowflake hairpiece, but that would come later.

"You look wonderful," Harry said. "You excited for tonight?"

Charlie nodded excitedly, her broad grin nearly identical to her mother's save the dimples in her cheeks. "JuJu's been helping me with my dance.

"It's nothing," Julian said, who was now holding Charlie on his hip since Y/n was done fixing his dress shirt and doing up his tie. Charlie giggled, which made him offer her a small high-five. They were an unusual pair considering their age difference, but Julian loved doting on his littlest sister. And molding her into his little sidekick. "First ones ready though, weren't we, Charlie?"

Y/n shot Julian a look, knowing he was teasing his sisters. Normally, she didn't mind so much, but there were a lot of ever-changing emotions running through the house currently, and it was easier to keep the peace than put out a fire. To Harry, she said, "The girls are getting dressed. Collette wanted to film, but I made sure she gave herself enough time to be ready otherwise she'd have to drive separately. And Maeve was lacing up her shoes when I checked in.”

Nodding, Harry asked, "Can you go talk to Gi? She's...not eager to leave the house."

"Already on it," Y/n said, ruffling Julian's hair as she walked by, which he immediately swatted.

"Do you want to practice at all before we leave?" Harry asked, turning to the youngest member of his family. He wasn't totally surprised that they were spending their Christmas evening at a holiday dance recital, seeing as this was one in a long line of pageants and concerts, but Charlie seemed the most committed to dance out of all his children, even at just five years old. To Harry, it felt like they'd gone to every match, game, meet, and recital possible. Between the seven kids, there was no sport or extracurricular left unturned, but he was often fond of watching his kids perform on a stage of any kind.

Charlie nodded excitedly, shimmying down from Julian's hip. "I've been practicing really hard!"

"She has. Her pirouette is flawless," Jules said with a serious nod of his head.

"Alrighty, let's see it, peanut," Harry said, kissing her forehead.

It wasn't a long routine. Charlie was five, after all. There was a lot of choreographed walking, a couple turns and leaps, and arms spread out wide and above her head. Harry was sure there would be a handful of mess-ups during the performance, and one child would probably end up crying backstage, but Harry, along with the rest of the Styles clan, would cheer for the youngest member of their family as if they were watching a professional ballet performance.

By the time Charlie finished showing Harry, and Julian her routine, more of the family had found their way downstairs. Simone shuffled around in her slippers, a pair of heeled boots in her hands, Natalia and Geneva trailing behind her with matching French braids in their hair, Y/n bringing up the rear. Geneva seemed to be in much better spirits than when Harry spoke to her, which he could only be thankful for. He and his wife were a team after all, and they didn't keep score on parental abilities and duties. Not anymore, anyway, but it had all been in good fun.

"Collette's just finishing up Maeve's hair," Simone said, going over to stand by her brother.

"Perfect," Harry said, checking his watch, a brand new gift from Y/n. There was an inscription on the back with the date, which nearly made Harry cry when he saw it. To my greatest love, it read, with seven little Xs to represent each of their children. "We're right on schedule."

"Since when have we ever followed a schedule?" Simone asked.

"You haven't heard? Dad's gone full-on dance mom," Julian said. "All the other moms in Charlie's class are in love with him because he stays and watches her rehearsals every week."

Simone's brows raised, no doubt a tease for her father poised on her lips, but Harry was quick to interject. "That's not true!"

"It's a little true, baby," Y/n said, coming over to kiss him on the cheek. Even in his late thirties, her husband was undeniably handsome. She'd given up on having feelings about people openly oggling her husband years ago. She knew Harry would never be interested in anyone else. They could look, but never touch, and that was enough for Y/n. "But you're still the best dance-dad ever."

"We're ready!"

Collette and Maeve bounded down the stairs curled to perfection as it bounced with each step. Harry noticed that Collette was wearing an old sweater from his closet, probably one she'd nabbed while he was on a trip, but he decided not to comment on it. He saw the look on his wife's face, though. Y/n's expression was soft as if she was recalling a memory from years ago.

Squeezing her hand once, Harry began ushering everyone out of the house and into the car. Two cars, actually. Driving separately was a common occurrence when the family was all together. Y/n and Harry learned rather quickly that arguments were less likely to break out if the kids weren't packed together in the back seats like sardines. So Harry and Y/n took the twins and Charlie in one car, and Simone drove Collette, Geneva, and Natalia in the other.

Harry sometimes couldn't quite believe that his little girl was in college, let alone driving on her own places. In a lot of ways, Harry and Simone had grown up together as he learned how to become a father at such a young age while simultaneously trying to raise a baby with Y/n. He'd grown up wanting to give his daughter the world, and as he watched her slide into the front seat of her car, one that she bought with her own money after saving up for the last couple years, smiling and laughing at something one of her younger sisters said, he could only hope he'd fulfilled that wish.

Later on, Harry was backstage with Charlie. Her snowflake headpiece was an immovable force on her head, her cheeks sparkled with a little glitter that all the other little snowflakes were wearing as part of their costume, and her white tutu sparkled under the lights of the school auditorium they were in. Charlie had a small pout on her face as she shifted nervously from foot to foot, her big eyes wide as the nerves settled in.

"You're gonna do great, peanut," Harry assured, his gaze level with hers as he knelt down on the floor. "Don't tell anyone I said this, but you're the best ballerina here."

"Really?" A small smile threatened to break through Charlie's nervous frown, and Harry knew she would be ready to go out and perform any minute now.

"Really," he promised, kissing her cheek. Charlie's cheeks had been adorably round when she was a baby, but most of the baby fat had disappeared now that she was a little older, but Harry still thought she would be the cutest, most talented dancer out on that stage tonight. "And even if you do mess up, or if you forget a step, I'm still gonna be so proud of you. We all will be. Okay? If you get nervous out there, look for me."

"Okay, Daddy."

Harry figured Charlie was as ready as she'd ever be. "Alright then. Give your dad one last squeeze."

Charlie lept into Harry's arms, squeezing him for all she was worth. He held her close, careful not to smush the glittery tutu between them. Only letting go when she began to wriggle around in his arms, Harry stood up and walked Charlie to where the rest of the little snowflakes were standing as they waited to go onstage. She wouldn't let him leave until the very last minute, only letting go of his hand when her dance teacher it was nearly time for them to start. Harry gave her one last kiss on top of her head before heading to his seat where the rest of his family was waiting.

It was a good turnout. His and Y/n's parents were in the row behind Y/n and the kids, along with one of Harry's old bandmates who happened to be in town for the holidays. Harry didn't get to see them as much as he would've liked these days, but he knew that any of them would drop any and everything for his kids. Just a few years ago, they all showed up for Simone's high school graduation.

"Everything okay back there?" Y/n asked as Harry settled down in his seat.

He took her hand in his and set it in his lap, his thumb grazing over hers absentmindedly. "Should be. Gave her a pretty good pep talk if I do say so myself."

Y/n scoffed playfully, knowing full well that Charlie was one hundred percent a "daddy's girl." Before she could say anything, though, Harry's mother leaned forward in her seat to ask about their post-recital dinner plans, and shortly after that, the lights dimmed and the performances began.

When it was done, the small section dedicated to Charlie's biggest fans cheered loudly, not caring that phones were turned in their direction or that they were maybe being too loud for a kindergarten dance recital. None of that mattered to Harry as Charlie beamed at them from the stage as she took a final bow, waving at her family excitedly.

At the end of the night, as Harry and Y/n got into bed, he couldn't help but grin at another perfect Christmas completed. It was off to an unusually slow start, and there was definitely potential for tears and arguments, but he couldn't have been more pleased by how everything turned out.

There was a time when even though Harry loved Christmas with Simone, then Simone and Collette, and so on, he somewhat mourned the idea of a Christmas with just Y/n. Because they had their daughter so young, he and Y/n never had the opportunity to enjoy the holidays just by themselves. It would've been nice, but Harry wouldn't change his experiences for the world, and he eventually didn't even want to think about what Christmas without his family looked like. Those memories were too precious to regret or want to change, and he knew Y/n felt the same.

"Another perfect Christmas for the books," he said as he climbed into bed next to Y/n, just half of their family Christmas pajamas on. He tended to do away with a shirt if he thought he and Y/n could get away with sleeping by themselves without any midnight intruders.

"Mm. I'd say so," Y/n agreed as she snuggled up to Harry's side. "Charlie was so good tonight, wasn't she?"

Harry's heart swelled with pride at the thought of his daughter's performance tonight. "Definitely a career there if she wants one."

"Easy there," his wife chuckled. "She's only five."

Harry merely nodded, but he was already thinking about the future Charlie's talent could give her. He didn't care if that did make him somewhat of a "dance mom," he just wanted his kids to be happy, and if a dance career was what Charlie wanted, then Harry would do everything he could to help her get there.

"I do have one more gift."

"Really?" Harry couldn't think of anything else he could possibly need, but he watched curiously as Y/n shuffled away from him to root around her nightstand for something. When she found it, she sat up to face him better.

With wide eyes, Harry stared as she opened up a small velvet box, a sleek metal band inside it. He couldn't even form words as he looked at it, eyes suddenly welling up with tears he didn't want to shed until Y/n explained.

"Maybe I should've done this at dinner tonight with our parents and the kids, but I wanted this moment to just be ours," she said, cheeks turning a little pink. "I—I know we're already married, but that was seventeen years ago, H. Can you believe that?"

"I don't know where the time's gone," he breathed. They were the first words that came to mind.

"Time flies when you get me pregnant six times," she teased, reaching out a hand to cup his cheek. Her thumb moved across his skin, wiping away a tear he didn't even realize had fallen. "But I just thought now that our family is officially complete. And I really do mean that. We could renew our vows or something. Usually that sort of thing is reserved for special anniversaries, but the timing feels right, and I found out I was pregnant when I was seventeen, so—"

"It's perfect," Harry said.

Y/n looked up at him nervously, as if he would've disagreed for some reason. "Really?"

"Yes, Mama. This is—This is the best gift you've ever given me. Outside those precious little humans in our house right now," Harry said, adding the last part as an afterthought. "I can't think of a better way to end my Christmas."

Harry let Y/n slide the ring onto his finger. Y/n had had a small band for a long time now, an anniversary gift to commemorate their small wedding all those years ago. Harry couldn't wear one at the time because their relationship, along with the rest of his family, was a heavily guarded secret, and a band on his left ring finger would draw way too many questions.

But their relationship wasn't a secret anymore, and while they did their best to stay out of the limelight, Harry had no problem with wearing the ring. He would get something for Y/n too. He'd always wanted to get her a big ring, one that signified just how much he loved and appreciated and admired her, both as his partner and the mother of his children. Now was the perfect opportunity.

"You really outdid yourself this year, Mama," Harry murmured, sliding a hand into her hair to cup one side of her face.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I was partially drawn to the idea after thinking we could have a honeymoon afterward?" she said, a small smirk on her face.

"You've really thought this through, huh?"

Y/n kissed Harry on the lips. A peck, really, and he suddenly needed much more. "Mmhm. Want to hear the details now or later?"

Later, definitely later, Harry thought, but he opted to just kiss his wife instead.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Everyone's ages:

Harry: 39

Y/n: 39

Simone: 20

Collette: 17

Twins: 16

Geneva: 12

Natalia: 11

Charlie: 5

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #8

xxx forced to stay awake

"Do not let him sleep!" Louisa's voice, sounding strange and distant. It reminds River of the vinyl records he used to listen to with the OB as a kid, the really old ones that made his granddad get that wistful look on his face that disappeared again as soon as he caught River looking at him. Things were so much simpler back then. If he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend he's back there...

"Cartwright!" Lamb snaps, shaking him a little. "Do you want to be fired from the Service for good?"

In this moment, that actually doesn't sound like too much of a bad thing if River is being honest. He doesn't say so.

"That wasn't rhetorical." Lamb's voice is loud, sharp. "We both know how your last job interview went. No one that's any good'll take you, which means you'll be stuck behind a desk at some basic mid-level office job. Or maybe a private firm'll take you on, like your old pal Webb! Imagine working for those arseholes. Is that what you want?"

"No," River mutters.

"No? Then keep your fucking eyes open!"

River forces himself to comply. There's not much to look at, really: the back of the passenger seat; the blood on his hand; Jackson Lamb's knees; the back of Louisa's head and, when he lifts his gaze a little, a glimpse of her worried face in the rear-view. The inside of his eyelids offered a better view.

The car hits a bump, jolting him and ripping a cry from his throat as pain tears through his side and chest where the bullets had struck. His vision goes dark for a second, and then he's pulled back to awareness by the sound of Lamb's raised voice.

"Jesus Christ," he's saying. "Who taught you how to drive?"

"I'm sorry!" Louisa, voice pinched. "River, come on!"

River groans, and prying his eyelids apart is harder this time. Breathing is hard, too. Everything is hard.

"River, talk to me! You okay?" Louisa cries.

"Yup," River gasps. Another groan. "Hurts."

"I'll bet it does," Lamb says. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before running off on your own like a fucking dickhead, eh? Course, I thought the same thing the last two times you did it. It's like you never learn, no matter how many times I tell you to stop doing stupid shit."

"You can..." River really shouldn't be wasting his breath on this, but he can't help it. "You can lead a horse to water."

Lamb makes a noise that could be a snort of laughter or, more likely, he's hacking up something disgusting.

"I don't know that I could lead you fuck-ups to water if we were on a-a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific."

River tries to draw in another breath to respond, but his chest hitches and he lets out a wet cough. His mouth fills with the taste of iron and he almost gags, but coughs again instead, blood flecking his lips, and he just keeps coughing. Panic is creeping in, black dancing at the edges of his vision. He can't get enough air...

"Keep breathing," Lamb commands, his words filtering through the ringing in River's ears. The pressure he's been holding on the hole in River's chest increases as he tightens his grip.

He doesn't know how long it takes, it feels like a lifetime, but the coughing fit finally subsides. His chest is burning, head pounding. He can't catch his breath. And, more than anything else, he's so, so tired. It's a deep, heavy exhaustion. He just wants to sleep.

"Cartwright! You open your fucking eyes, now."

Fucking Lamb. Louisa is speaking too, but River can't discern the words. She's too far away. He suspects she wants him to stay awake too, though, damn her. Damn both of them.

"Now!" Lamb repeats, tapping River's face. "You hear me, Cartwright? That's an order. I know you're shit at following those, but you had better follow this one. Come on. Eyes open. If you won't do it for me, do it for Guy. You saw what happened after Min. What do you think'll happen if you die in her backseat?"

That sparks something, the faintest bit of anger, and River's eyes open a little. He doesn't know how he manages it.

He doesn't know if he'll manage it again.

xxx

[girlgenius1111]

I want to be here.

part 3!!!

no warnings... i don't think.

You sat on your couch, staring at your phone resting on the coffee table. It was opened to your messages with Ona. You had barely texted in 6 years, only sending happy birthday's back and forth. Today, though, sat a message sent from you.

-Are you okay? I hope nothing we did made you uncomfortable. Not that you had to stay. I just want to make sure that you're okay.

It was marked delivered. There was no response. You'd only sent it an hour ago, and it was possible Ona had just gone home to sleep. But you didn't know when she'd left, how she got home. You were worried. And, as much as you wished you weren't, you were hurt. You felt... icky. Used. You knew Ona, and you knew she wouldn't just fuck you to get back at you, or just for fun. There was a small part of you, however, that felt like it would have made sense for her to do either of those things.

It's not like she could really have still feelings for you, if she ever did. She was Ona. The human embodiment of sunshine. A laugh that brought a smile to anyone who heard it's face. She was perfect, or as close as a person could get. And you were just... you. Nothing special. Nothing compared to her.

You pulled yourself out of the familiar spiral when your phone buzzed. You felt nauseous as you picked your phone up, Ona's caller ID flashing across the screen. Hand shaking slightly, you answered.

"Hello?" You tried to keep your voice level.

"Hey, I'm fine, I'm sorry I left like that. I just needed to get my head on straight." She didn't sound okay, she sounded like she'd been crying.

"No, it's okay. I was just worried, wanted to make sure you were safe." There was so much more you wanted to say, but you stuck to simple sentences, simple statements.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just kind of freaked out. Not because I felt pressured or anything, I just... got scared." You were relieved at that but still, she sounded slightly choked, like every word to you was a challenge. You could hear the murmur of someone else's voice next to her, but you couldn't make out the words.

Suddenly, you needed to get off the phone. You were convinced she regretted it, regretted you, and the rejection that hadn't actually happened yet felt suffocating. "It's fine. I get it. I messed things up, and I shouldn't have let it go this far. I'll see you at practice tomorrow."

You tried to hang up, feeling a lump in your throat as you spoke, but Ona's frantic voice stopped you.

"No! Y/n, no. Please don't run again. I know that's insanely hypocritical considering what I did this morning, but please. Can we please just talk?" She sounded panicked, and you felt too guilty to tell her no. You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing tears out of them, wondering how she still had you wrapped around her finger, so many years later.

"Okay. Do you want me to come over?"

"Um. I'm actually at Alexia's. Don't be mad, I told her what happened, I just needed advice. Can I come to you?"

That shouldn't have surprised you. It made sense. Alexia was the biggest pusher of team cohesion. If people had a problem with each other, she made them work it out. She clearly had told Ona to talk to you, to tell you that it was a mistake in person, so there wasn't any tension.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you soon." You hung up before she could respond, leaning back against the couch, trying to pull yourself together. You wiped the tears off your face harder than necessary, and took a couple deep breaths.

Ona was going to come over, and tell you that you guys made a mistake. That was it. There was no other option. And you had to be fine with it, because this was your fault. If you'd handled the situation differently when you were 18, maybe things would be different, but they weren't. There was no conceivable way that Ona would want you.

You must have sat thinking longer than you thought because suddenly the doorbell rang, and you jumped to your feet, masochistically excited to see Ona even if you were sure she was about to break your heart.

----

The 2 of you sat on opposite sides of your couch, silently. She'd been crying, you could tell, and she was wearing clothes that were obviously Alexia's. You ignored how good she looked even in a t-shirt and sweatpants that were too big on her. Her hair was up in a messy bun, a few pieces falling free. You were about to speak, to tell her it was alright, you knew what she was here to say, but she beat you to it. Her words surprised you.

"I was hoping maybe you could tell me what happened on my 18th birthday. After I kissed you." Her eyes met yours, and her gaze was curious.

"What makes you think something happened?" You hated how defensive you sounded, but this wasn't where you thought the conversation was heading and you didn't think you wanted to talk about this.

"Well you took off, moved out of your parents house a couple weeks later, and pretty much stopped speaking to me. You wouldn't do that without a reason." Her voice was gentle, as if you were fragile and you were so, so confused. Nothing she was saying made any sense.

"You didn't try to talk to me either, Ona." You said it more bitterly than you intended, and suddenly realized that you were kind of angry. Not really with her, but with yourself. For not allowing yourself to lean on her when everything happened with your parents. You hadn't realized, until that moment, how much you had needed her.

"I'm not proud of that." Your eyes snapped up to hers. "I was hurt, when you ran, but I shouldn't have kissed you. You weren't ready, you weren't comfortable with it yet, it was obvious. I pushed you too far, and I assumed you wanted space, and I was hurt, and then. I don't know. It had been too long."

You were really confused now. Baffled. It sounded like she was telling you that she knew you hadn't left because you didn't want her, but because you weren't ready. This whole time, she had understood you better than you'd really understood yourself. You felt tears welling in your eyes again, and you bit your lip, trying to keep everything in.

Ona scooted closer. "Y/n. Can you tell me what happened when you got home that night?" She knew. Of course she did. She had known your parents well, and they weren't shy about their beliefs. And she'd know that something catastrophic must have happened for you to move out at 18.

You couldn't look at her, staring at the coffee table, watching it get blurrier and blurrier as tears continued to gather. Your voice was barely more than a whisper when you spoke, but it still managed to break on every other word. "I told them. They weren't happy. They told me to leave when I turned 18." You stuck to the facts, the bare minimum.

You felt her grab your hand, but you still couldn't bring yourself to look at her.

"I'm so sorry. Fuck. I'm so sorry for all of it. I shouldn't have kissed you, and I shouldn't have just let you pull yourself away. I knew you felt bad about what happened, and I felt bad about what happened, and I didn't know how to fix it. You needed me, and I wasn't there, and I'm so, so sorry y/n.

The tears were really flowing now. Because how was she sitting her, apologizing. To you. For something that was completely your fault. You looked at her then, your eyes meeting hers. They were filled with apologies, regret. She was crying again, and you couldn't help yourself but reach a hand up and gently wipe a tear away with your thumb.

"Oni, you don't have to be sorry. I shouldn't have left. I loved you and I should have been brave enough to tell you that. And I definitely should have been brave enough to try to fix it after. I was a fucking coward, and you deserved so much better than that, than me."

"No." Her voice was suddenly harsh, and you jumped a little, startled. She softened slightly. "No. You were terrified, I could see it on your face. Please don't talk about yourself like that. You didn't do anything wrong. I always knew you had a tougher time with being gay than I did. You needed more time, and there is nothing wrong with that."

She said it so definitively, like it was a fact, not just what she felt. It was... almost convincing. Taking a deep breath, you tried to let her off the hook, still convinced she didn't want you.

"Well. I'm still sorry. I know I ruined us." She shook her head at that.

"You said you loved me. Past tense." Your eyes dropped again, suddenly interested in the tattoo on her arm. She kept talking, undeterred. "I hope it's not past tense. Because I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. I never stopped. Alexia told me I needed to get my head out of my ass and just tell you, because she says it's obvious that you love me too."

You looked back up at her in shock for a couple seconds. You sounded broken when you spoke again, lower lip trembling. "I don't understand." And you didn't. You were genuinely perplexed at the idea that Ona loved you.

She moved closer to you, taking your face in between her hands gently, forcing you to meet her eyes. You'd never had someone look at you that way before; like she was consumed with love for you.

"I love you. I want you. I didn't leave because I didn't want you, I left because I was I didn't know how to tell you. I just want to be here, y/n. With you. I want tell you that I love you, that you're a good person, and you deserve good things, until you believe it. If you love me, if you want me. I want to be here." She spoke slowly, making sure you heard every word.

You were still surprised. Still kind of confused. A part of you was starting to believe her though. Her words, the way she looked at you, the gentle feel of her hands cradling your face. It didn't leave much room for doubt. She stared at you, and you realized she was waiting for an answer. As if you would say no.

Surging forward, you pressed your lips against hers, kissing her firmly. You pulled back after a second, and you told her what you'd been dying to say since you were a kid.

"I love you, Ona. So much." You were sobbing at this point, and she sighed in relief at your words, pulling you back into her. You smooshed your face into her neck, holding her tightly. She held you just as tightly. You let yourself feel it all then, and you cried into her for a while. She didn't ever let go, running her hands through your hair and whispering reassurances into your ear.

When you were done crying, she was still there. Wiping away the tears with the sleeve of Alexia's sweatshirt. Ona was looking at you so tenderly, so gently. You leaned forward, pressing another kiss to her lips, just because you could. She smiled against you, pulling you to lay down on top of her. You rested your chin on her chest, looking up at her.

"God we're so stupid." She laughed at that, and the sound made you grin, a bigger smile than you'd felt yourself have in a while.

"The stupidest. If we'd just had one conversation, we could have figured this out years ago." She was smiling down at you, still lightly pushing your hair out of your face. "Thank god Alexia convinced me to come back over here. She was so sure you loved me back, she practically dragged me into the car."

"I wonder how she knew," you mused.

"She says you look at me the way Mapi looks at Ingrid, Marta at Caroline. I knew what she meant, but I never saw it. Not until now." You blushed, realizing that you were staring at her, enamored. "She also said Mapi said something to her about you having feelings for me. I think they've been conspiring together."

Your jaw dropped at that, and you were suddenly sure that they had been. "Oh they absolutely have. We should tell them we aren't getting together just to drive them insane."

"Yes, and we aren't speaking to each other. They'll lose their minds. But first, I have something I need to do." She sat you up, and you looked at her, confused.

"What do you ha-" She cut you off, pulling your face into hers in a decisively dirtier way than you'd been kissing. You met her with equal enthusiasm, wrapping your hands around her body, pulling her sit in your lap. Pulling back after a minute, gasping for air, you responded.

"You're right, I think we're busy for the rest of the morning"

"Maybe the rest of the day"

She pulled you back into her, and you kissed her hungrily, taking your time, because neither of you were running this time.

-----

Hope you enjoyed :) not sure if we've seen the last of these 2, but let me know if there's anything specific you want to see.

[lemoncrushh]

Fratboy Harry - Part 7

Summary: Harry Styles was a boy with a reputation, one that you couldn’t care less about. Yet one night at a frat party changed everything.

Warnings: Smut, drinking, angst, a very cocky Harry. 18+ ONLY!!

Part 7 Word Count: 2323

STORY PAGE

I'm sorry.

I swear, she's not my girlfriend.

If you'd answer my calls I could try to explain.

Will you please talk to me?

These texts and more filled your phone all evening, but you left them unacknowledged. He'd tried calling you several times as well, but you never answered. Finally, as you laid in bed, your mind wandering though you were trying your best to read your English chapter, Harry sent one more text.

Fine. I know you're mad. Maybe you just need some time to cool off. I'll leave you alone. Call me when you wanna talk.

The next morning you managed to make it to class despite a restless night. You'd probably gotten a total of three hours' sleep, and you prayed to God you wouldn't be quizzed on that English chapter because you had no idea what you'd read.

You didn't know why you'd let this boy get to you, but somehow he had. Hell, you didn't even like him at first. Now not only was he invading your mind, but you'd allowed him yourself you get angry and hurt over something that had nothing to do with you. Something that shouldn't have surprised you and you should have seen coming. Dammit.

Coming out of the English building after stopping to talk to your professor, you were zipping up your backpack so you didn't see him at first. Lifting your head, you spotted him on the sidewalk, a small group of people gathered around him. Pulling your backpack over your shoulder, you walked briskly, trying to get past him before he saw you.

"Y/N!" he called.

Shit.

You walked faster, your eyes focused on the sidewalk ahead of you. Hearing puffs of breath as he jogged to catch up you, you rolled your eyes. He called your name again, pleading you to wait. You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him.

"Hey," he said. "Didn't you hear me?"

"I did," you narrowed your eyes.

His shoulders dropped in disappointment. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"I don't feel like talking," you remarked.

"Will you at least hear me out?"

You crossed your arms over your chest. "Fine. I'm listening. But you have about two minutes because I have to get to my next class."

Harry stepped closer to you, lifting his hands like he was about to touch you but changed his mind.

"She's not my girlfriend, okay?"

"You've said that."

"She has a thing for me," he added as though that just cleared everything up.

"Apparently," you raised your brows.

His eyes shifted away from you as he tried to think of the next thing to say. Biting his lip, he looked back at you.

"We slept together once," he muttered. "It meant more to her than it did to me."

You glared at him in disgust. Was this guy for real? If it wasn't for the curiosity taking over, making you want to hear the whole story, you would have stomped off.

"I know that's an awful thing to say," he admitted. "And I don't mean it like it sounds. I wasn't a jerk to her afterwards, I know that's what you're thinking."

"Don't tell me what I'm thinking," you scoffed. "You have no fucking clue what I'm thinking."

"Fine, fine!" he held up his hands. "I'm just trying to explain."

You pursed your lips. "Go on."

Harry sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "She kept calling me and texting me. She was a sweet girl, so I didn't wanna hurt her. But I could tell she wanted more than I did. She started showing up to all the parties, following me around. Anything I was doing, she'd ask if she could come along. She found out where I lived and somehow got the impression that we were a couple."

You stared at him incredulously as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I still don't really know how it happened. She got it into her head that she's in love with me and that we belong together. I felt bad at first and tried my best to let her down easy. I told her we could be friends."

"Oh yeah, that's what every girl wants to hear," you rolled your eyes.

"I didn't wanna be an asshole!" he exclaimed. "I know you think I'm one, but I'm not."

You opened your mouth to retort but he held up his hand. "I know, don't tell you what you're thinking."

You sighed and uncrossed your arms, gripping your backpack.

"So what, she's stalking you now?" you inquired.

"Sort of, I guess. She won't stop calling or texting me, even after I've had to be harsh with her. She shows up at my door unexpected. After you left yesterday? She came by again. She actually said she forgives me and that we can work it out."

"Eesh," you sounded. You weren't sure who you felt more sorry for, him or her.

"You asked why I don't just block her number. I tried that. That was when she starting coming over. I'm trying to keep tabs just in case I do have to call the police. I'm being a jerk to her now so hopefully she'll listen and finally give up."

You sucked in your lips, allowing his words to sink in. You wanted to believe him. But what if he was just making it up? You stared down at your watch and cleared your throat.

"Your two minutes are up," you muttered.

Harry swallowed. "Listen, you probably don't believe me, but I just wanted to explain."

"Fair enough," you nodded. You gestured toward the sidewalk. "I gotta go."

Turning away, you heard him say your name again. You sighed, looking back at him. He stepped closer to your again, reaching for your hand. You surprised yourself by allowing him to do so, staring down at it as he threaded his fingers through yours.

"You might not believe this either," he murmured. "But I wasn't lying when I said I liked you. And you definitely do something to me."

You blinked, raising your head to look him in the eye. You felt him lean forward and you almost thought he was going to kiss you.

"Really do have to go," you whispered, pulling away from his grip.

You didn't look back as you hurried toward your next class, for which you were certainly already late. Your heart pumped in your chest with anxiety. You heard someone else call his name followed by a hearty group laughter.

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to so badly. But you couldn't get the poor girl's face and sound of her cries out of your head. And as you sat down at your desk, that's when it dawned on you.

That could have easily been you.

Three days later you and Mandy sat at the kitchen table, you with your nose in your Algebra book, Mandy on her laptop. You'd clued her in on everything that had gone down with Harry, though she still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"You know, there are some crazy stalker girls out there," she commented.

You lifted your head, dropping your pencil. "Are we still talking about this?"

"I'm just saying," she peeked over her computer. "I mean, he is a popular guy. He probably has girls chasing him left and right. She might have gotten caught up in his charm and turned all psycho on him."

"Or maybe he was just giving me a load of crap so I wouldn't think he's a cocky asshole," you stated.

You heard Mandy click her tongue. "I don't think so..." she sang.

You rolled your eyes, resolving to ignore her so you could finish your math homework. The truth was...you didn't know what the truth was. You had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions it was driving you mad. And the fact that Harry hadn't bothered to get in touch with you since you'd run into him on Monday, just added fuel to the fire. Granted, you hadn't called or texted him either. But something told you it wouldn't make any difference. You'd still be just as confused.

When Friday came and went and you still hadn't heard a peep out of Harry, you'd decided you'd given up. You were just some other girl to him, another lay. Whatever, so be it.

You told Mandy you'd go to the party with her Saturday night, but that you weren't going to stay long. If she wanted, she could get a ride home with someone else, or she could call you later when she was ready to leave and you'd come get her.

"But it might be super late," she whined. "You'll be asleep."

"No I won't," you declared. "I haven't slept in days."

As soon as you walked into the house, you knew he was there. You couldn't see him, but you knew. Mandy made a beeline for the kitchen, saying she was ready to get drunk. You followed her until you reached the doorway. You heard someone say his name followed by a cheer. Frozen in your spot, you listened for his accent, but when it didn't come, you changed direction and headed for the nearby beer keg.

A pleasant looking guy in a University t-shirt was standing beside it, pumping for a handful of people. He smiled at you before handing you a red Solo cup.

"Thanks," you grinned before bringing it to your lips. You gazed at him over the rim of the cup as he gave you the once over and then winked.

Mandy nearly scared you when she came around the corner and grabbed your arm.

"He's here," she whispered loudly.

"I know," you remarked.

"He's just with some buddies though," she added. "I don't think that Jamie girl is here."

You shrugged. "So what if she is."

"Have to say..." she paused, bringing her cup to her mouth. "I think it's kinda shitty that he shows up here without calling you first."

"Mandy," you turned to face her, "what did you expect?"

She gave you a look of disappointment and sympathy, her mouth scrunched up to the side of her face.

You stayed for a little over an hour, the one beer the only drink you consumed. You were bored. And trying to avoid running into Harry was not your idea of fun. You found Mandy chatting with the cute keg guy, announcing that you were leaving. She pouted but told you she'd most likely get a ride home.

Just as you were heading for the door, you caught sight of a blonde girl, her eyes wide like she was scanning the room for someone.

Jamie.

Curious, you stood still as you watched her make her way to the kitchen. You followed her, only stopping in the doorway. You saw Harry leaning against the counter, a cup to his mouth. You didn't miss the fact that he raised his eyebrows the second Jamie walked in. But you weren't exactly sure if it was because he was happy to see her, or just an acknowledgement. When she walked up to him, however, you noticed he didn't say a word to her. Instead, he turned to his friend next to him and began chatting.

Okay, so maybe he was ignoring her. But it was also very strange to you that he didn't make any move to tell her to leave him alone. Jamie reached for a cup then, filling it with ice to make her own drink. Then she returned to Harry's side, brushing her fingers up his hand that rested on the counter. He didn't even flinch. Deciding you'd seen enough, you turned on your heels and exited.

That evening you'd just finished brushing your teeth and were getting ready for bed when a new text popped up.

So are you gonna continue to avoid me?

You sighed as you began to text him back. He must have known you were at the party.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about this silent treatment. You can't tell me you're enjoying it.

There you go again, assuming you know what I think.

Then tell me.

Tell you what?

What you think.

You paused for a moment, gathering the words in your head before typing them out.

I think you're an asshole. But not because of the reasons you think I do. I think you're a phony. You want people to like you, but you also want them to fear you. You want them to think you're a cocky asshole but you're really not. I think you slept with some girl who really liked you knowing you didn't really like her, just because it fit your persona. I'm not sure if she's stalking you or what, but I think you get off on it because it makes you look like a big shot.

You saw the three dots indicating Harry was typing, but you were surprised when all he replied was one word.

Wow.

You decided to continue typing, feeling liberated that you were finally getting your feelings out.

To be honest, Harry, I don't know exactly where I fit in to all of this. You say you like me, but I don't know what to believe. Maybe you do, or maybe it's again just something you feel like you have to do because it's who you want people to think you are. Like I'm some conquest or a notch in your belt. You have a reputation to uphold. But I do know one thing. I hardly even know you. And I'm not going to waste my time worrying and wondering about some fratboy who may or may not have some other girl in the wings.

I told you I'm not in a fraternity.

You laughed out loud, but not out of humor. He was unbelievable.

Goodbye, Harry.

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[hyuuukais]

⋆.˚𖦹°‧✮‧°𖦹˚.⋆ ERROR 404

pairing ~ yang jeongin x fem reader

synopsis ~ y/n starts getting messages from an unknown number after buying a used phone for cheap. as she finds out more about the boy she's talking to, it turns out there's much more to this than a wrong number --- he died, and she's talking to his spirit, yet he has no idea what happened to him. will y/n have what it takes to solve the mystery of his death? or will the boy's spirit remained trapped in his phone?

warnings ~ gen, blood/injuries

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CH 3 ~ LAKE HAVEN (2.1k)

The bell by the door rings, signaling somebody entering the store and you put your phone down. An elderly lady is walking around looking at the different displays you have out to buy, most of which were created out of boredom between client orders. She's looking at a bouquet of pink and purple roses wrapped tightly in a white lace. You made that two days ago for a baby shower but made one too many, putting the extra out this morning after the order was picked up. The woman picks up the bouquet and smiles wide, looking up at you from where she's standing away from the counter.

"These are beautiful," she says, her voice frail.

"Thank you," you say, standing up straight. Compliments always give you a boost of confidence. "Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Flowers for my daughter's wedding, it's tomorrow and her florist fell through," she shakes her head, bringing the flowers to the front. "Oh, she's been waiting for this day ever since she was a little girl. I'm glad I get to see her married before... well, she's my last grandchild to be wed, you see."

"Exciting! You must be a pretty great grandmother coming here to get her new flowers," you smile. "Normally we don't do this, but I can make a personal arrangement if you'd like and have it done to be picked up by tonight-"

"No, no, dear," she declines. "These will be just perfect."

They're a bit wilted at the edges, but you don't argue with her. Instead, you ring up the price and let her pay. When her card payment doesn't go through for the third time, you offer to pay for her.

"I don't know why it's not working," she sighs. "Can you read the date for me? It shouldn't expire for another month..."

"Of course," you take the card from her and your face pales. "U-um, ma'am, this has been expired for four years."

"Four years?" The woman shakes her head. "That's... that's..."

When you look up from the card, you barely hold in a gasp at the change in the woman's appearance. The entire right side of her face is skeletal, and the flesh still on her bones is rotted and sunken in. She reaches out with a shaky hand and takes her card back from you, your fingers brushing and you're temporarily blinded. You find yourself looking up at her from behind the counter, your vision blurry. When did you hit the floor?

"Oh, dear," the woman joins you behind the counter, a hand snaking up your neck and jaw. "I-I never saw my granddaughter's wedding. What a shame..."

A wave of dizziness hits you, your sight blurring as her other hand comes up onto the other side of your face. Her hands travel up and into your hair, smoothing it down and away from your face. The way she's touching you is gentle, but dangerous. You can feel your heartbeat slowing and your breaths getting lighter and lighter the longer her skin is making contact with yours. Eyelids fluttering shut, you let the woman take your head into her lap, shushing you, reassuring you maybe, but you can't make out her words any longer. Her ghostly touch feels more solid by the second.

Right as you're about to let sleep take you, she's being ripped off of you and your head hits the ground, but it doesn't register. You hear shouting, open your eyes to see two shapes arguing, one keeping the other away from your body. Slowly, you can feel yourself regaining enough strength to sit up against the wall. Placing your head in your hands, you groan at the sharp pain radiating from your temples to the back of your skull.

"Are you okay?" You recognize Jeongin's voice. "Y/n, answer me."

"S-sure," you exhale, rubbing your eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. What the fuck was that?"

"Like I said, other spirits are catching on, even ones who dont know they're dead yet," Jeongin begins to explain. "Now that they know you can communicate with us, they're not going to stop trying to get to you."

"But why?" You shake your head.

"Energy- they want it, crave it," he sits with his back against the counter across from you. "Didn't you feel it?"

"Is that what that was?" He nods. "Oh... what about you?"

"Some of us are less desperate. Some just want to finish what they're here for, whatever that may be." He shrugs. "Enough about that. Have you learned anything else?" When you don't answer, he sighs. "You literally have one job."

Your head jumps up at this and you're about to tell him your one job is the flower shop, not helping him, but you see he's looking away from you trying not to laugh. Unable to hold back, a small giggle leaves your lips and his eyes find yours. Soon, you're both laughing and you don't even notice the way your headache has disappeared. All you can focus on is the sound of him, the way his eyes turn into crescent moons as his smile grows wider and wider. If he weren't dead, you'd take this opportunity to ask him out. What?

"I'll have you know I did try contacting a private investigator, but he hasn't been much help," you admit and show him the texts.

"He seems enthusiastic about this," Jeongin teases and you roll your eyes. "I might have something, not sure if it's helpful yet though. There's this lake outside of the city-"

"Lake Haven?" You ask and he nods, opening his mouth. "I used to go there all the time as a kid! I haven't been back in years."

"Eager to go back at all?" He asks. "Cause I think there's something out there, but like everything else, it's blank. It might be similar to the playground. Going there might unlock something?"

"It's worth a shot," you say with a shrug.

An hour goes by and you're pulling into a narrow dirt road leading to a slew of private cottages. Jeongin points to one that looks as dead as him, and you turn into the driveway. It's an older house with a sign on the door indicating it's closed for upcoming renovations, but there don't seem to be any workers at the moment. Hesitantly, you open your car door and make your way to the front of the house.

It's small and simple compared to the rest of the cottages, dust greeting you as you open the creaky door. Jeongin moves past you and takes in your surroundings, taking a deep breath and you watch his shoulders untense. If he's remembering anything already, he's not sharing, but watching him tells you enough. There's a direct pathway to glass double doors on the other side and he stops, fingers trailing over the kitchen island next to him. When his hand stops, you notice a chunk of faux marble missing from the edge. Jeongin's smile falters slightly, removing his hand and examining the broken island.

"I remember this- this is from a party Hyunjin threw here without his dad knowing," Jeongin places a hand on each side of the marble and closes his eyes, hanging his head between his arms. "Stupid."

"Is that why we're here?" You ask, hand hovering above his shoulder. Before you can touch him, he moves away.

"No," Jeongin opens the back door. "No, it's not. Out here, ladies first."

You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as you walk through the exit. The doors open up to a small yard with a path leading down to the shore, a wooden dock waiting at the end with a dirty boat for fishing. Two rods are sitting on the seat with a tackle box by the nose, a splash of what looks like red paint on the top handle. There are a few chairs folded up and leaning against the porch you just walked off of, Jeongin grabbing two of them for you to sit on.

Quiet; it's quiet out here at the lake. You don't recognize this part and assume you must have stayed on the other side. This area is more secluded, trees and bushes lining the edges of the water with only small rocky shores peaking out for people to park their boats and get in the water. A bird sings somewhere to your far left, and as you turn your head you catch a glimpse of a boy standing on the bottom step of the porch, causing you to jump. Fists clenching with anxiety, you recognize the blonde boy- Hyunjin. He's got orange swim shorts on and a loose white tank top, dark roots starting to show on his scalp. His expression is hard to read, somehow blank and full of emotion, but it quickly changes as another boy comes bounding down the steps and down the dock, a smile that reaches his eyes forming.

Hyunjin is jogging down the sandy path between wooden structures, grabbing the wrist of the other boy who you see is Jeongin. Time has passed since the last memory; they're almost fully grown here, probably older teenagers. Jeongin is pulling his wrist away, but he's laughing, and so is Hyunjin as he forces the boy closer to him. He's locked his arms around Jeongin tightly, swaying them side to side as the younger one tries to escape his grip. You catch a glimpse of the mischievous look on Jeongin's face right before he throws them both over the edge of the dock and into the water, successfully breaking away from his captor.

"This is the day I got my first car," present-day Jeongin leans over to whisper in your ear, a small shiver going down your spine. "I wasn't supposed to drive this far, but Hyunjin suggested coming out here to celebrate since it would be empty this time of year. The water-"

"Jeongin!" Hyunjin screams, jumping back onto the dock. "It's freezing!"

"-was very cold." You laugh as Jeongin finishes his sentence with a breathy laugh to match yours.

"Come back or I'll pull you back in!" Younger Jeongin shouts, moving to float on his back.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I wouldn't sound so sure about that," Jeongin floats closer to the dock, hand outstretched to wrap slender fingers around Hyunjin's ankle. "Test me."

Hyunjin replies by kicking water at him, which turns out to be a huge mistake. No hesitation, he's not so gently yanked into the lake, coming up with a gasp. After a moment of silence and a look of pure betrayal on Hyunjin's face, Jeongin splashes him again. This time, Hyunjin is prepared and swims out of the way. They continue to splash and fight and swim, laughter bubbling up through the air, and you find yourself unable to keep the smile off your face as you watch this moment of happiness between friends.

Looking over at Jeongin, you see a sad smile on his face. His eyes are focused on the two of them, and you can't help but wonder what's going on in his head. He must miss Hyunjin like crazy, and Hyunjin must miss him as well.

"We could tell him," you say softly, Jeongin's attention turning to you.

Up close, you notice details you haven't before; the sharpness of his cheekbones, his plump lips. He's very beautiful, he would have killed it in the world of acting.

"Tell him what? That you're talking to his dead best friend?" Jeongin shakes his head. "No way. You're out of your mind."

"Yeah but-" you cut yourself off.

Back out in the water, the boys are gone, but there's someone out there. It's hard to see from this distance, but you think you can see a man standing upright in a boat holding something sharp in his hand. You can feel Jeongin tense beside you, and you're not feeling any more comfortable. The man holds the object up to his throat, making eye contact with you the whole time as he slides it across his skin, red washing down under his shirt. You can't tear your eyes away as he collapses over the edge, disappearing under the water. The boat floats eerily by itself, a weird feeling washing over you.

"Who was that?" You ask, finally pulling your eyes back to Jeongin. "He seemed... like he knew us."

"I don't know," Jeongin replies.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out, no ideas of who it could be. All you knew is that he was a ghost too, showing you how he died. There's a buzz in your pocket-

notes ~ who was that man 👀

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reply or send an ask to be added (18+)^^^ green means i can't tag you

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

XX. “close call”

parts: previous / next

plot: your friend is set on knowing what you can’t divulge. Bruce is left conflicted about his next course of action; the next day at work, your boss tries to force your journalistic hand.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, anxiety, arguing, alcohol, creepy men

words: 4.7k

"I'm coming to get you." Mar set down the phone and sounded like she was grabbing things to come there.

You panicked, wondering how you could tell her you were with Bruce right now without potentially giving his identity away to someone near the car. And what if she still comes and sees I'm actually with Batman?

"Mar." She wasn't answering. "Mar!" She still wasn't saying anything, and this time you heard a door. "I'm hooking up with someone and they're sleeping."

"Don't believe you." You heard the click of keys in a lock, and panicked further. She wouldn't be one of those Batman trackers, right? She wouldn't know you were near the Bat signal right now, right? You took a deep breath. "Just, stop! Stop!"

"Why? This is so fucking suspicious, what if you get fucking murdered?" She sounded genuinely afraid, and you heard a car door open. She already got a taxi? "Please, I know you care about me,"

"Fifth and Stark, please. Thanks." That was… extremely accurate to where you were sitting right now. Fuck!

"I know you care but please, I want my life to be my life. I don't want to be monitored, I am 100% fine." What would Bruce do if he found out I let his secret slip?

"Then you'll be fine when I get there. It's the middle of a fucking alley, Y/N,"

Even if you left the car and ran off into the night, she would get dropped off and see a car that was so obscenely expensive it had to belong to Bruce Wayne, and she would know. At this point your panic was eroding away into irritation, because she was starting to act like a helicopter parent. You put the phone on mute and frantically searched the empty car for some keys. Maybe I could just drive somewhere else while location is off. Where the fuck does he keep keys?? Does this car even have keys? Is it one of those card things?

"Y/N??" Mar had reacted even to your line going silent. Between the fear of giving away Bruce as Batman, your annoyance at being monitored so closely, and the residual fearful anger from the anonymous donor reveal, you snapped at her. "I want to live my own life without being suffocated!" Your words hung in the air a moment, then you felt sick. I shouldn't have said that. Fuck.

"Hello??" OH THANK GOD. You'd forgotten to unmute. You took a few regulating breaths, then unmuted. You saw her location as five minutes away. "How about I meet you..." On the map she was two minutes away from a queer bar downtown you and her had frequented in undergrad. It would probably be a ten minute walk from here. "At Mora's, in ten minutes."

"Do you know how much could happen in ten minutes?"

"I'll keep you on the phone." You looked around to make sure you hadn't accidentally lost anything, and she sighed. "I don't understand what's going on. But. Fine. Oh, and if you're not here in ten minutes I am calling the police, 'kay?"

"Sounds good." You muted yourself for a second just so she wouldn't hear you popping the door open. If you had to answer about sitting in a car it might move the conversation towards more sleuthing. A quick pop of the lever made the door swing open wide, and you were able to slam it shut and unmute before Mar had even realized you were silent. A few steps in the dusty alley made you turn around, wondering how the hell you might let Bruce know where you'd went. Did you even need to let him know? You feared he might stalk the city for you if he didn't. You noticed steam had accumulated on the windows from you being inside, just enough for you to maybe write out where you were going, or at least that you were safe. Pointer finger to wildly expensive glass, you wrote a quick note and evaporated into the depth of the dark night.

Bruce's inside wrist buzzed. UNL was in small blue text, signaling an unlock in the car. Gordon had just pushed up his glasses to look at the hilt, but pulled back to take a breath being so close to the stench, which was rapidly filling the room. Bruce grit his teeth and stared longingly at the knife handle before tearing away and walking across the room. "I'll be back." The detectives paid him no mind as he strode strongly past, breaking into a run down the hall to the staircase. Why did it unlock? Right when Gordon was about to look at the owls, too... He resigned to be back as swiftly as possible, flexing his fists on the way down until he burst through the door, sprinting toward the alleyway.

At first he didn't know if you were still there or not. The car was completely black, unable to even be seen until he was about ten feet away. The tinting on the windows was more severe than he'd thought, but it was highly effective. Even peering into the window with cupped hands proved futile. After opening the driver's side door and lowering the partition, he felt stuck. Where the hell were you?

This was the worst part of Gotham—an uphill walk so steep that regular patrons of the various businesses in the area made sure to rent apartments at the top of the hill; if you moved into one of the businesses at the bottom of it, you were financially doomed. This was why, though you could see Mora's sign glowing ahead, it would be another seven or eight minutes until you were able to heave yourself through the doors.

Bruce was at a standstill as he stood at the alley in front of his abandoned car. He sleuthed for evidence of a fight or unusually quick getaway—the dust pattern outside both back doors was consistent with a normal walking pace for one individual, and he was left puzzled. Had you gotten bored? Tried to prank him? He couldn't track you; after the argument about how invasive his previous searching efforts were, it would be treasonous to do so again. Though he couldn't see the building from here, he looked in its direction with utmost longing. The first owl in months had shown up, now readily accessible and able to be viewed by a trusted source. Maybe he could feel less crazy, or maybe he would feel absolutely insane if Gordon said he saw nothing there. Bruce tolerated fear well, but this was a slippery one, one that involved more than circumstances and threatened his psyche. As he changed back into his previous suit, he told himself he was leaving to find a citizen in danger, not being willfully ignorant of his own mental decline. He swung around to open the driver door when he caught a patterned glint off the back window. A dust devil danced in the background as a gentle accompaniment to the barely legible prose. Had 2 leave, am safe. He tossed his blazer atop his car and rested his hands over his head. He paced through the dust cloud that then dissipated around his ankles. Sloppy. I'm being sloppy. He couldn't change back into the suit, could he? Working protocol was to never change out of the suit in the same public location, but was this public enough to qualify? Could he go back in to follow up with Gordon? Would he drive around all night trying to see if you were honest, and not in danger? Would that be too intrusive? Probably. In a city this big, and this dark, that required facial recognition technology he promised he wouldn't use on you. Christ.

"Y/N." Mar usually greeted you excitedly, but now she stood with her arms crossed around a neon green blazer. Quite honestly it was the last thing your eyes needed to see after bland, gray concrete. She tapped her foot and glared at you, then gestured toward your phone. "Why were you being so fuckin' secretive?"

You had only barely begun to catch your breath, and followed her gesture with one towards the bar. "I need some water, Mar, that was fucking steep," She groaned but followed you in. The bouncer stared at your ID a little too long, which was usual—there weren't many IDs from other parts of the country here. Gotham was the city that people left, never a destination.

The bar was pretty busy, about the usual suspects for a Thursday night. Gotham's strong population decline apparently had not hit the partiers, because Friday through Sunday every bar and club was packed like sardines. Mora's was better on Thursdays, when it was still lively but not crawling with women and their straight boyfriends; whenever you or Mar walked past them they'd ask to watch you kiss. Thursdays were mellower, with synth pop or indie music floating from the speakers instead of EDM. On the first Thursday of every month there was a themed event, and you couldn't remember the last time you'd been here for one of them. Your favorite drink here was "The Sinnamon", a tongue-in-cheek drink consisting of cinnamon Fireball whisky, pulverized blackberries, and ginger ale. Mar liked "Hot Shot", a shot of tequila mixed with jalapeño brine. You thought hers was disgusting, and she thought yours was basic; whenever a game of truth or dare started, at some point both of you would dare the other to switch drinks.

"Wanna get our usual?" You tried to be chipper and distract from how you'd been in the back of Bruce/Batman's car, wanting so badly to avoid a conversation about him altogether and to forget that the richest, most powerful man in the city might have just bribed you into silence. You wondered when Bruce would be done, and if he would freak seeing you weren't there. Would he stalk you? Go back to his supercomputer to track the city cameras? Were you being a paranoid freak and he was simply a burgeoning philanthropist in unfortunately suspicious circumstances?

"Y/N." Mar was being short with you, and you started feeling tense. What was the line between care and surveillance? When did vigilance become paranoia? You cast your eyes to the floor and told her to find a seat while you ordered drinks. She stared at you without saying a word or making a sound, her eyes shooting daggers. You felt like a little kid. Thankfully a bartender had been walking to the back to get some supplies and happened past you. "Have you two been helped yet?"

Five minutes later you two sat in the upper lounge area on pink vinyl benches. Your thighs were sweaty from the walk and immediately stuck to the seat, painting swathes of red on the back of your legs where it peeled. Starting to remember why I stopped coming. The green walls were familiar, the same octagonal mirror loud against its backdrop. It felt oddly eerie.

Mar refused to touch her drink until the both of you talked, her stubborn nature both frustrating and soothing you. After taking a few gulps (honestly, half the drink or more) you set yours down as well, shaking your shoulders to rid tension. "Look,"

"You're keeping something from me." Mar was decidedly blunt, and it immediately made you feel caged. You shook your head at her gently, trying to avoid giving away specific information. What if she keeps up with Batman tracking and sees he was at that location, near me?

"I promise, it's nothing you need to know."

She shook her head back, refusing to entertain not being informed. "You were in an alley, you turned your location off, what the fuck? And you wouldn't speak loud to me?" Her voice was starting to raise, only slightly, but enough for you to worry about others hearing.

Your instinct was to soothe and reassure, hoping it would put out the fire brewing in her eyes. "I know it seems weird, but I'm fine. I was fine. I am fine." You topped it off with a grin and she rolled her eyes. She saw right through you, knew there were words unsaid, but couldn't quite make them out.

"I don't like you lying to me."

This struck a chord, but you knew you couldn't show it or she'd fight harder. "I'm not lying, I just don't need to tell you this."

"Like fuck you don't!"

Oh, we're being demanding now? "We barely talked before I moved back here. The whole last year of school you've just been partying, I didn't know you really gave a shit about me."

"Y/N. You're my closest friend here." Her tone was flatter, and her hands were now sitting together in her lap. Your brow furrowed. "I knew I was your friend, but,"

"Close friends don't hide things from each other."

Anxiety bubbled in your chest. This felt... manipulative? "I promise this was nothing dangerous, or sketchy, I just, want some things to be mine." Her glare hardened, so you continued speaking. "So you're not close with the people you see every day?"

She rolled her eyes again. You were starting to get a bit pissed off—that, or the alcohol was starting to hit and fuck with your emotions. "I can't talk to them, you know that."

"I don't know that. Because I wouldn't be spending most of my time with people I couldn't talk to."

"Girl... you really don't get the city." Another eye roll. Smoke was starting to come out of your ears.

"I don't. At all. It's fucking weird." You picked up your drink and had another sip, the cinnamon warming your tongue and edging off the sting of this conversation's undertone. Rumination percolated in the back of your mind about how you wished you'd never came back.

She held out her hand and counted to two, exploding her hands at the end of her sentence for added effect. "You have your going out crew, then you have your separate friends to talk to. People with substance."

The disdain was now apparent on your face, the alcohol relaxing your inhibition. "I hate it when you say stuff like that. Acting like you're better than them."

Mar laughed and sat back on the seat. "That's 'cus I am."

"These people are your friends, dude. They tag you in every photo, you go out for brunch, bars, didn't you even go to one of their weddings a few months ago?" Her smugness was infuriating.

"I don't need a lecture."

You paused. The conversation was devolving into something reminiscent of the one you'd had back home, right before the big blow-up, sans lies about your sex life. Am I the common denominator? "It just... it makes me think you talk about me like that." You clammed up, sifting through more thoughts of Is it me? and but she IS acting like a helicopter parent, not really respecting my boundaries...

"I'd never talk about you like that,"

"Why do you hang around people you don't like?" It puzzled you. It sucked being alone, but at least then you didn't have to be fake. It exhausted you picturing her smiling and laughing with people only to disrespect them in their absence. How much could you trust that she wasn't already doing that?

"The city caters to a certain type of person, okay? They'd say the same about me." At this point Mar picked up her shot and downed it. Loneliness had painted a fluffy pink cloud around your friendship with her, distracting from the reality of why you both had mostly fizzled out over the past year.

She'd always had flighty tendencies, running from one group to the next, and never quite shit talked anyone to you; she instead made small comments like that one, subtly positioning herself as better or more important than the people she spent all her time with. While the two of you had disagreements, it was more circumstantial that the both of you had fallen out of everyday contact; she had been a sociology major with you the first year, but after a particularly exciting political science course she'd moved more towards public speaking and general policy courses—she was into leading people and you were into knowing them. This was out of character however—Mar was all over the place, sure, but she was never so immovably standoffish.

"So what were you doing?"

She wasn't letting up. To cave or not cave... What would be gained if you stayed silent? What would be gained if you said you'd been with Bruce? If you were being honest with your feelings, you wanted her to know so you had someone else to bounce your fears off of, akin to a reality check. However, adding another person to the mix would only further complicate things—it was best not to act in haste. After a second of deliberation that she appeared peeved over, you decided to restate your inability to share, asserting the boundary before you became deliriously inebriated. If I truly wanted to share, I’d share it, not feel peer-pressured into it. "It didn't concern you, and I don't appreciate being forced to tell you. Everything's fine." What if I'd been buying her a gift? What if I'd gone into the alley to cry away my troubles?

"It makes me really suspicious, Y/N." She slammed the glass down on the small gold table and threw her head in her hands, like you'd just told her to go fuck herself.

"Not telling you doesn't mean I did something bad." She still sat facing the floor, exasperated. You sighed. "I know you want me to be safe, I appreciate that." You touched her back, and realized she was shaking. When she uncovered her eyes you saw her mascara was smudged, and her cheeks were wet.

"I feel fucking guilty about fucking inviting you to the fucking club." She hiccuped after trying to speak through stifled sobs. "You didn't respond after and it fucked me up, Y/N, I thought you fucking died and it was my fucking fault." She threw her hands over her face again and curled inward toward her stomach.

"Hey, hey," You pulled her into a hug and pressed your cheek to her shoulder. Her body wracked with sobs muffled by her shirt, and you only made out bits of what she said through it, one of them being a strained, pitchy "I'm sorry" followed by a volcano of tears. You very nearly cried with her, white-knuckling away the hot tears prickling your eyelashes.

"Here, I'll get napkins." You jogged to the bar and grabbed a heap, a heap she went through almost instantaneously. "I know I'm fucking weird right now, god." Her sniff was thick and hard. "You don't have to tell me."

Five minutes passed of more casual conversations. The alcohol had hit both of you at this point, leaving you both tipsy but not drunk. Bruce floated out of your mind. Mar, who could handle her alcohol about a thousand times better than you could, ended up going to the bar and ordering another round for you both. You sat alone on the sticky seat letting your eyes roam and people-watch. There was a woman sitting diagonally from you across the room surrounded by a gaggle of women, all admiring her (likely) new ring; you caught some of its sparkle, which rendered you a bit sad. They belong. I don't.

She came with the drinks faster than the first time, and downed the second shot before your glass had even reached your lips. "Ah. I need to piss and fix my mascara. Can you watch the drinks?" You nodded, and off she went. That was another good thing about this bar: the bathrooms weren't backed into a weird corner down a long hallway, they were able to be seen from across the room if someone tried to follow anyone. You watched her and the door like a hawk, clutching your drink in your cold fingers as you sipped at it absentmindedly.

Over the next hour you both sat in the haze of alcohol's glow, talking at length about any major events that had happened since the list time you'd been here (Mar had hooked up with ten different people, one of which, she reported, was the love of her life that she planned to ask to officially be her girlfriend on Halloween night; you briefly mentioned your mother's cancer, but kept the conversation in the land of hopes and dreams as for her prognosis) and by that time the bar was making you both quite dizzy. Mar had already ordered an Uber while the both of you giggled over random posts on Scypher, and before you had fully registered you'd even left the bar you were opening your apartment with Mar at your side. Exhausted, you popped an ibuprofen (Mar had taught you this—taking an ibuprofen with a couple large glasses of water took the bite out of hangovers) and nearly drowned yourself in hydration before taking a quick pee and jumping into bed. This place, though your eyes were admittedly hazy, still didn't quite feel real. The last thought before you both crashed was an eerie feeling you might never feel at home anywhere again.

BRRT. BRRT. BRRT. The alarm you'd set for yourself on Monday saved you from missing call time at Dr. Vry's office—9:45am. She'd told you to come with a 'spiked' hot chocolate every morning from the cafe a block from campus. Cafes don't put liquor in their coffee, right? Is it even legal to sell alcohol this early? But when you'd said goodbye to Mar and found yourself in line at 9:30, you realized it was nothing more than a hot chocolate with four shots of espresso. No wonder she's so talkative.

While you waited in line, now with the soothing wash of alcohol out of your system, your mind wandered round and round about the implications of Bruce having paid your parents debt, and the circumstances surrounding his payment. You knew a secret that would destroy him, and possibly land him in jail for the rest of his life—you distinctly remembered being in the police car realizing the cops hated Batman. He was a barely contained vigilante, only not caught because he left as quickly as he arrived; you figured his life would effectively end if you were to let anything slip. You vowed to do more research when you got home on if Batman had ever killed anyone, even by accident, or if there were any clues pointing toward suspicious 'disappearances' that could be in any capacity traced back to the bat. When the barista handed you the coffee, the heat in your hand brought you out of your head and back to the day's responsibilities.

"Ah hello hello!" Dr. Vry smiled at the coffee before she addressed you. Once you handed off the drink you smoothed down your trousers, to which she gave you a concerned once-over before tsk-ing. "Let's get you set up."

You were placed down the hall and to the left, in the room right next to the elevator; it was a small space that looked like it used to be a computer room. Frayed electrical wires jutted out from the stark white walls, and the thunking of the elevator was intermittent but so loud it never failed to scare you. The top of the singular student desk in the middle of the otherwise barren wasteland had a sticky film on it, like someone had spilled a caramel latte over it and left it for the summer just to fuck with the campus custodians. When you got out your computer and stared at the empty page, you worried about having enough to say; all that had happened was an introduction of the various people at the table, an overview of the candidates for mayoral election, and a few other small announcements you felt not entirely relevant to the city. Who cares if Little Me, Big Dreams was temporarily adding a dance class for toddlers that was already full, with no waitlist?

Three hours later you escaped the lull of your computer screen when Dr. Vry motioned for you to come to her office. She cleared her throat and had a smile so wide it felt like a dentist commercial. "Please, sit." You sat in the rickety chair that strained against your thighs for air, your eyes noticing the cobwebs in each corner of the ceiling. "What happened at the City Hall meeting last night?"

"Oh uh," You were a bit taken aback, but quickly summarized the draft you'd written. "Well, there are a few mayoral candidates that will be coming to the meetings, which I want to get an interview for each, and there was a lot of introducing everyone so, it honestly took up a bulk of the time, and then just some miscellaneous information from businesses across the city." Her smile had faded considerably. "I had a question about the latter too, would you like if I listed them in a bullet format, or—"

Disdain flooded her tone. "Did Bruce Wayne not make an appearance?" She sat back in her chair and stared at you with unblinking pale blue eyes.

The mention of his name was like a hot branding iron down your throat. "He did, but he really just introduced himself and listened to everyone else for—"

"You managed to get into a room with Mr. Wayne, the sole survivor of a family so illustrious, so prestigious, and did not so much as speak a word to him?"

You stammered. "I thought I was supposed to report on the content of the meeting,"

"Mr. Wayne is the content." She slammed her hands down on the table and stood up. Your chest hurt and you hid a wince. "The journalism department in this establishment is doomed. We must speak to what the people want if we are to rise from the ashes."

"And people want Bruce Wayne." You spoke flatly, your throat cinching. She nodded, heaving a sigh of relief. She blinked up a storm, then placed a hand on your shoulder. "Dearest. We must give the people what they want."

Was this just a column about Bruce? If so, you were quitting right now. "Should I include the other pieces,"

"If there's room." She moved to her filing cabinet to thumb through nondescript folders. "Did you even make contact with Mr. Wayne at last night's meeting?"

"Yeah." Your voice was small, defeat sunk you back into the chair.

"And what was the topic of conversation?"

"He showed me some notes he had. Talked a bit about Bella Reál and the candidates for mayor."

She paused for a few seconds with her fingers hovered above the cabinet drawer. "Hmm."

"I," Dr. Vry was deeply intimidating, but you felt a sore spot in your chest at the thought of abandoning the sprit of journalism in favor of a celebrity blog post. "I don't want to exclusively write about him."

"You'll do as you're instructed."

"No, I won't actually." You pushed your chair back, and she spun to glower at you. "I'm not putting my name on celebrity gossip."

She balked when you said 'my name', which made you want to curl up and cry, but you held your ground.

"Anyone else would die for your position."

"If Bruce Wayne contributes to the meeting, I'll add his contributions, but I'm not going out of my way to make him the focus."

"The audacity is striking!"

"With all due respect, this wasn't what was advertised."

"You're suspended without pay until further notice." She shoved the cabinet shut and wiped her hands of the dust. "The department will hold a meeting about your future at GU."

You bit back a million retorts and equally as many tears as you left her office, grabbed your things, and set off for The Moore.

[andillneverbethesame]

we are never ever getting back together - s.b

❥ sirius black x fem!reader

❥ summary; after you and sirius break up for the milionth time, you swear you two are never ever getting back together.

❥ warnings; toxic relationship, cheating accusation (didn't decide if sirius actually cheated or not), reader slutshames sirius, if theres more, tell me

❥ word count; 1,595

❥ a/n; based off wanegbt by taylor swift

it was just a regular day for you and sirius. you knew it shouldn't be, but it was.

shouts filled the apartment where you two lived together and you were sure your neighbors were going to complain about the loud noises you two were making. and they had every right to do so. after all, it was middle of the night.

"god, y/n!" sirius let out a frustrated groan, putting his head in his hands. "i'm so fucking tired of this. can you just let it be? nothing happened anyway, you're just being dramatic. as always."

you let out a gasp, feeling offended a little.

"me?" you screamed. "dramatic? well, who do you think i learnt it from, you dick?"

he rolled his eyes and poured himself a bit of whiskey.

"just tell me you slept with her and this fight can be over," you almost begged him. "this," you pointed to yourself and him. "this can be over."

he put his drink down. "i'm gonna say it for the last time," he spoke too calmly for your liking. "i didn't sleep with her. i didn't sleep with anyone."

"then why don't i believe you?"

"it's not my fault you've been cheated on so many times you developed trust issues," he said through gritted teeth. "you should trust me if you want us to work."

you wanted to slap him. more than ever before. "well, if you want your partner to trust you, you shouldn't have gone around and fuck everything that has a pulse in your past and especially now when you're in a relationship!"

he sighed and waved his hand. "this is pointless. you are pointless."

he turned around and his back was now facing you. he was walking towards the bedroom. before he could slam the door, you yelled at him.

"we are done. we are over, sirius, and let me tell you: we are never ever getting back together!"

he didn't respond. instead some of his stupid indie records filled the silence and you cursed under your breath before walking down the hall and putting on your sneakers and the first jacket you reached for. then, you opened the door of your apartment and stepped out, your eyes meeting a neighbor who was just probably about to knock at your door and tell you to shut up. you slammed the door behind you as loud as you could, letting sirius know you were feeling only rage.

"i'm sorry, sir," you apologised to the neighbor who jumped at the loud noise of door slamming. "i promise you that this was the last time."

we are never ever getting back together we are never ever getting back together

your best friend lily evans was kind enough to let you in her apartment. well, she didn't really have a choice when you knocked on her door all shaking from rain and cold. you knew it was raining but you were feeling so angry that you forgot an umbrella on your spontaneous way out.

"did you mean it?" lily asked next morning when you two sat at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee. you could hear the water in her bathroom running, meaning james, her boyfriend, spent the night and was definitely going to investigate what happened between you and his best friend.

you looked at lily with raised eyebrow.

"did you mean it when you yelled at him that you two are never getting back together?"

you shrugged. did you really mean it? "i don't know. maybe i said it just out of anger, i'm not sure. i really love him, you know? but, god, it really is so fucking exhausting keep fighting, breaking up and then making up and then fight again, break up and make up and repeat." tears started streaming down your cheeks. "god."

in that moment, james walked into the kitchen and you quickly wiped your tears. he bent down and pecked lily's lips, smiling at her. at the sight of your teary eyes, however, his smile fell.

"oh, hi," he said and waved at you awkwardly. you could see he didn't know what to say and you questioned if you really wanted him to say something. he was probably going to defend sirius and say you two belong together anyway.

"hi," you greeted him back quietly.

lily's phone beeped and she looked at it. "it's marlene," she informed. "she's asking if i know where are you at the moment." she glanced back at you. "do you want me to tell her you're here?"

"yeah, sure." marlene asking about you meant she was probably at your and sirius' flat and your ex boyfriend told her you weren't there. he probably had that glare on his face that he had the morning after a fight too.

you, lily and james spent drinking coffee in silence. you desperately wanted to sort this shit out with the help of lily but with james there, you didn't say a single word.

marlene arrived about ten minutes later and the first thing she said was, "what the hell happened between you and black? he acted like a prick."

you snorted emotionlessly. "when does he not?" you put your cup down. "what did he do?"

"well, i wanted to give you the top i borrowed from you, here you go by the way," she handed you your top. "and so i got into your building and i heard bunch of people there talking about some kind of argument that happened in the middle of the night. well, anyway, i knocked at your door and it took sirius an eternity to open. and i noticed something was wrong like immediately but i didn't ask him. instead, i asked him if you're home. he said 'no' and before i could ask where you were, he slammed the door right in my face."

you rolled your eyes. that was so typical of him.

"we had a fight."

"about what?" marlene asked.

"think he slept with a girl from work."

you heard james snort behind you. "no, he didn't."

"james," lily warned.

you looked at him with a cold look in your eyes. "you may be his best friend but you and him are not the same person so why don't you shut your mouth and don't talk about things you have no idea about?"

james's face fell. he cleared his throat and thankfully, kept his mouth shut.

marlene's voice shook a little as she spoke. "you sure he slept with that girl?"

you shrugged. "even if he didn't, we would be better without each other.

the blonde took a seat next to lily and reached for your hand, squeezing it. "i'm very sorry."

we are never ever getting back together we are never ever getting back together

for a week, you and sirius didn't speak. at all.

during that time, all the leaves turned red, orange and yellow and you took a walk everyday with earphones in your ears to clear your head.

you distanced yourself from your friend group and stayed at your parents' house for a while. you were lucky enough not to see sirius at all even though you've been going to his favourite places.

now, you were again on one of your walks. with a coffee you bought in a nearby café earlier, you sat down on a bench in a park.

you looked around the park. there were a lot of people but they were mostly couples who found the autumn weather romantic, making you think about you and sirius and how those people used to be you two. you couldn't even think about one time in the past three months when you and him went out together without fighting about anything.

you took a sip of your coffee and hugged your coat closer to your body. at that moment, your eyes fell on two familiar people walking towards you. you sighed, taking off your headphones.

"hey, y/n," said lily.

"hi, lils," you smiled. "james."

he nodded.

"how are you doing?" the redhead questioned and you shrugged.

"been better, been worse." the next words the couple was going to hear slipped out of your mouth quicker than you could stopped yourself. "how is. . . he?"

james and lily looked at each other and the man said. "he's. . . okay?"

you weren't surprised. you didn't expect him to be affected by your fight and break up.

"no, not like that," said lily immediately when she noticed the look on your face. "he's been. . . sort of going around telling people that you two are going to get back together soon."

your mouth opened in shock. "well, we're not. definitely not soon. i need space, just like he needed."

the three of you stayed silent for a second before james spoke.

"maybe you should tell him that," he advised and for the first time, you thought james said something smart.

before you could reply, your phone rang. you expected it to be your mum or dad but the name that popped on your phone screen made you freeze.

sirius :)

you took a deep breath and your thumb hovered over the green button. you answered the call.

"sirius?"

"i still love you," his voice filled your ears. he sounded still the same like the night you two were yelling at each other.

"but i don't want to get back to you," you said honestly.

you heard him sigh. "come on, love, you don't mean it. you always say this but then we get together again. we both know that this time, it's like any other time."

"i love you, sirius, but we are never ever getting back together. like, ever."

[lovelykil]

CAN U DO REVERSE COMFORT WITH KILLUA

IDC WHAT ITS ABT BUT JUST MAKE IT REVERSE COMFORT PLEASE POOKIE😞🙏🏻

chocolates—

: ➛killua

note; my brain has put itself on hold for like a week 🙁🙁 but anyway ofc pookie

my back leans against the cold wall with my knees tucked to my chest, I sit still like a pouting child. Except I'm not pouting. I sniffle, my glossy eyes staring at the carpet. This same overwhelming feeling of anxiety washes over me as the pathetic tears swell my eyes.

was this my fault? was I the cause of this break up? will.. she come back?

"shit,," I breathe out as I wipe away these droplets of vulnerability. The more I think about it the more I want to cry. It's all so stupid but—

"y/n." I nearly jump at the voice from beside me, I was so lost in my thoughts I must've forgotten I wasn't alone in this bedroom.. that wasn't even mine.

"h-huh?" I turn my head toward the voice, eyes wide and watery as I stare off guard like. It was him, he was still in his sleeping wear; comfortable baggy sweats with a black loose t-shirt. He looked wearily, his blue eyes low and dark as his hair was quite in a mess, not entirely but some stains stuck out. It kinda went with his whole layered haircut he recent got though.

"you shouldn't cry over her you know, I kinda saw this coming to be honest." killua said, his voice hushed in the dark space before he looked away. He sat with his legs infront of him, knees toward the ceiling as he arms rested on them. I remained looking at him, letting his words sink in. My eyes dart away for a moment as I look away shortly.

"you did?"

"yeah." I sit in silence with him trying to wrap my head around all of this, my legs grow minds of their own as they fall to the ground slowly. I mess with my finger tips, speaking again.

"how so? Was this my fault?" I whisper. I feel weak as I mutter the question, my stomach twists with horrible sensations that make me queasy, I almost don't want him to answer, afraid I might be correct.

I am a terrible friend.

"are you kidding me? No. I didn't want to say anything or else we would've had a fight and honestly I wasn't in the mood for that but, she was a total bitch." Judging by the tone of his voice, he was being sincere. He was harsh as he explained,, suddenly that weird feeling went away and I felt.. relived?

"well that's not nice.." I chuckle lightly, sniffling in the moment. I hear him scoff 'tch.' He goes as his legs fall just like mine. He looks over at me as I do the same. Our eyes meet.

"she gave me such a headache, god I hate your friends."

"killua.." I make a face, my eyes still glossy red from the crying. I fold my arms slowly stating at him. He looks at me like he's done nothing wrong, even smirking with those tired eyes of his.

"it's true–"

"I still really cared about her though, we've been friends for so long kil.. it kinda hurts." My arms unfold to mess with the string of my pj pants I wore. Silence filled the air, it felt like a long one.. it felt like he was conflicted on what to say next.

maybe he understood? Maybe he didn't. I had no clue in that moment. It wasn't until I heard him softly sigh and saw him stand up I realized he didn't understand. He left the room and abandoned me in this empty bedroom for a few minutes.

to be honest I felt a little offended, even sulking till he returned back. What the hell did he leave for??

I saw him close his door with something in his hand, he walked himself back to me and sat down— this time a little closer than before.

curious and a little mad, I gazed over at the silverette to see what he was holding. It was..

"chocolate, here."

"huh?" He placed the chocolate— actually it was his chocolate robots right on my lap as I squinted to see it clearly. My eyes grew as I picked up the treat, my mouth hung open slightly in shock.

"your chocolate robots? But you never—"

"just shut up and take it before I change mind.." He opened his robot, making it very clear to just shut the hell up and take it. In which I did, quickly! A confused but warm smile tugged my lips as I opened the treat.

I could feel his eyes land on me as I happily ate the chocolates, he only stared for a bit before he looked away. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him smiling to himself looking at the robot container.

he was either really happy about the chocolate or me. If I was to guess it was probably the chocolate.. either way he still looked adorable when he smiled. I felt a little better now.

"hey, it's okay to be torn about her.. you'll eventually get over it. Though you shouldn't because she sucks but you get it.. I kinda hate seeing you act so sad. Your smile is way better anyway." my sweet, unaffectionate, idiotic boyfriend spoke with sincerity, he chews on his chocolate momentarily after speaking such kind words to me.

I look at him, stunned for words. "killua—"

"don't ruin the moment.. just shhh." He says, pressing a finger to my lips. I cross my eyes to look at his finger then look back at him as I nod. He removes his finger about to open his mouth wide to pour in more chocolate but I interrupt with a grin.

"oh killua you're so cute you know? Thanks sweetheart." I tease, leaning in to peck his cheek. Once I do I sit back down and lean my head on him to savor this moment.

this time I smile to myself, thinking about his face right now.

at this point my tears were all dried up, and the feeling of anxiety was replaced with a warm fuzzy one from this hunter. He takes a second to respond to which I snicker lightly once he does.

"your... your welcome."

[waterfire1848]

Azutara number 29 please 🥰

Thanks for the ask @gold-fire!!!

29. going away to war au. My apologies that this one is a little shorter. I really wanted to capture this fleeting moment Azula and Katara could have before they both had to...well go away to war.

Katara rolled over in her bed. Her fingers gently pressed against the Earth Kingdom royal green colors on the blanket and her head was resting against a darker green pillow. Spirits, she hadn't enjoyed peace like this in months. The wind was gently pressing against the windows, there was a soft sound of people talking out in the streets and, the best part, her secret girlfriend was fast asleep next to her.

Azula's black hair was spread all over her pillow. Her side of the blanket went up and down as she released gentle breaths. Anytime the two managed to find an opportunity to spend some time together, Katara noticed that Azula slept in more than other firebenders. From what she heard, firebenders rose with the sun but Azula was usually the last one of them to wake up. Maybe it was because she felt safer and more at peace with Katara. Well, at least, Katara hoped that was the reason.

"Morning." Katara whispered.

"Morning." Azula smiled, rolling onto her side, "How'd you sleep?"

"Amazing. I think I crashed after our secret dinner which was delicious by the way."

"Thank you." Azula said.

"I think the chef deserves the thanks." Katara let a small laugh escape her so Azula knew she was only joking.

"How do you know I didn't make it?" Azula asked.

"Princess raised with more servants than I could count? I'm thinking you didn't cook our meal last night."

"It's very rude to assume things, Katara." Azula said, sitting up in the bed.

"You're right. I shouldn't have assumed. Did you make our dinner?" Azula looked around the room, anywhere but Katara.

"Well, no." Katara giggled, "But you still shouldn't assume. I can cook just as well as any chef." She argued.

"I'll hold you to that next time we see each other."

"I look forward to it." The two shared a quick kiss before Azula got up and walked behind a room divider to change her clothes, "Katara? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Katara perked up when Azula left the hidden view of the room divider, taking a seat at her dresser and brushing her hair, "Where do you see this...leading?" Azula asked. She couldn't see the waterbender but she could hear her walk closer and closer to her and, for Azula, that was somehow worse.

"What do you mean?" Katara asked.

"This. Us. I'm in the city. I'm going to-" Katara stopped her from talking.

"Remember? No talking about the war. Azula, I really, really like you and I don't want this to end yet. Can we, please, just pretend the war doesn't exist for a while longer?" She begged.

Azula just stared into Katara's wide blue eyes that were pleading with her to agree. The same blue eyes she feel in love with back in Tu Zin, the ones she looked at while they danced in an Earth Kingdom village away from their teams, the blue eyes that made Azula feel so safe.

"Then can you help me with my hair?" The princess asked, handing Katara the brush.

"Of course." Katara began brushing out Azula's long black hair, "You know you should learn to do this for yourself." Katara said.

"Why would I need to when I have you around?"

"Wouldn’t it hurt your reputation if people found out you don’t know how to do your own hair?” Katara put the brush down and grabbed a hair tie.

“I have a feeling enemies of the Fire Nation have more things to worry about than whether or not I know how to do my hair.” Azula said, inspecting her nails.

A smirk formed on Katara’s lips, “So, you’re okay knowing I know how to do something that you don’t?” She asked.

“Katara, unlike my brother, I don’t get mad over every little thing. I’m perfectly content with-“

“Knowing that Sokka knows how to do a top knot and you don’t?” Katara asked.

Azula froze. Had she been a waterbending, Katara is pretty sure she would have frozen the vases in the room with just her look.

“What?” Azula turned towards her girlfriend, her hair only half done.

“Sokka knows how to do a top knot. He learned while we were in the Earth Kingdom and he’s pretty good at it.”

Azula’s glare turned deadly, “Your brother, that peasant, knows how to do a topknot better than me?”

“What’s the matter? You were fine when I knew how to do it and you didn’t.” Katara smirked.

Azula launched out of her seat but Katara was far from scared or worried. She was actually holding back laughter.

“That was you! You and your brother are different-“

“Thanks, sweetie.”

“I refuse to not know something that idiot knows!” Azula declared.

“I mean, Sokka is incredible smart-“ Maybe Katara shouldn’t have just told her stories of Sokka being an idiot. Even if they were a great way to break the ice between the two when they started dating.

“I refuse!” Azula yelled. She gathered up all her hair supplies and sat back down at the mirror. Katara’s half done work caused her hair to fall into her face. Azula pushed her hair back and brushed it out.

“Then you wrap it up into a tight ponytail.” She mumbled.

“Good.” Katara nodded, assuring her she was on the right path.

To her credit, Azula did get pretty far. She was in the process of wrapping her hair around her hair tie, the second to last step, when he hand got caught in the tie. A couple of times.

“Do you want me-“

“I can do it.” Azula said, “If Sokka can learn then so can I.”

“Azula-“

“No. I can do this!” Azula argued, “Look! See!” It wasn’t done. They both knew it wasn’t. The hair was lumpy and Katara was 90% certain it was pulling on her scalp in some places. Still, Azula refused to let her smile fade.

Without a word, Katara picked up the brush and undid Azula’s hair. Azula didn’t say a word against Katara’s action.

“Can I tell you a story?” Katara asked.

“Go ahead.”

“When I was younger, my mom did my hair all the time. I used to hate it so much but in the South Pole you need to keep long hair up so it doesn’t get in your face. I told my mom how much I hated it, so she told me to try doing it myself the next day. In all my five year old genius, I told her I could do my hair just as well as she did every morning.” Katara let out a small chuckle as the ending of the story made its way into her mind.

“This sounds like it doesn’t end well for little five year old you.” Azula said.

“It does not.” She confirmed, “I grabbed everything I thought I’d need for my hair and tried to replicate it as best as possible. Somehow, I ended up with my hair in the most spirit awful pigtails you’ve ever seen and, even worse, I ran out of hair ties, so guess what I used? The same string we wrapped fish in.” Azula couldn’t hold back her laughter, “And not fresh fish. No, I had to pick the string that was wrapped around fish that was a couple days old. It took my mom three hours to get the smell of dead fish out of my hair.”

“I would have loved to meet five year old you. You sound both adorable and insane.”

“Why do I get the feeling we wouldn’t be dating if we met when we were five?” Katara asked, “I’m sensing a very spoiled brat energy that I feel was very strong when you were younger.”

Azula put a hand over her chest, “I am offended! My own girlfriend makes such assumptions-“

“Am I wrong?” Katara asked.

“Not at all.”

The two girls laughed a little while Katara finished up Azula’s hair, “Perfect.” She smiled, hugging Azula from behind, “I have to go.” She whispered.

“No you don’t. You have to stay here with me. We can go to the Fire Nation together. We’d still have to be a secret but we’d be together and-

Katara cut her off with a kiss, “You know I can’t do that. Just like how you can’t run away with me and join the Avatar. Even though I beg you to.“ Katara was already dressed up so all she had to do was go to the door so she could sneak off and back to the Gaang.

“Until next time.” Azula smiled.

“See you later, Princess.”

Had Azula known the next time she saw Katara’s blue eyes they’d be looking at her with pure hatred (almost screaming at her that Katara know believed she was a monster just like her mother did), she would have held Katara closer, would have begged her to stay.

Had Katara known the next time she saw Azula again she’d be screaming and ranting about her mother and her, she would have begged Azula to follow her, would have savored the last few moments she had.

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 6)

Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Violence, depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm

I look up to see the scientist and he’s grinning. What the hell happened? He’s staring at something on the floor and I look to see blood coming towards my feet. I look a little forward and that’s when I see her. Blood seeps from every part of her. Nose, mouth, wrists… chest. I see the knife embedded in her sternum and right there I die. I stopped living in that moment and I knew what I had done. 

“Once a monster. Always a monster.” The scientist laughed. I couldn't even process what was going on. I wanted to kill him but I was frozen. I wanted to touch her but my hands would only do more damage. The love of my life laid dead in front of me. Before I knew what was happening darkness overcame me. 

I woke up on the quinjet. For a second I forgot what happened. I forget y/n was dead. I forgot all of it and I was not hurting for a split second. I opened my eyes and I saw her. Laying beside me, lifeless or almost lifeless. Nat sat next to her holding the knife in place and Steve wrapped bandages on her wrists. Holding the wounds tight but blood still rain down the cracks of his fingers 

I cried. I couldn't help but look at her face and just watch her. Begging god that she would look back at me. I promised her forever and I killed her. I promised her I would never leave her. I reached out for her face but I hesitated. Tears clouding my eyes. 

“You don’t have to look at this Bucky” Steve said.

“The co-pilot seat is open you can go-”

“I can’t leave her. I promised I would never leave her…” I couldn't even bring myself to sit up. I rolled on my back and reached for her hand. I put my hand on top of her cold one and closed my eyes. This was it. This is what I deserved.

After the long flight back home I couldn’t do it anymore. Steve tried to tell me she was still breathing but I couldn't hear it. I couldn’t feel the steady beat of her heart. I held her hand and Nat looked at me. 

“You need to let her go. This may be the last time you see her, Barnes. You know she loved you, maybe too much even.”  I got what Natasha was saying. Say your goodbyes. 

I looked at her face. Even in death she wasn't peaceful. 

“I love you, doll. I love you so much. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” I brought her pale knuckles up to my face and kissed them. I couldn’t let her go but I had to let her find peace. 

“You will never leave me. You will always be my other half. My entire body and soul. Forever” with that I let them carry her to the med bay. I didn't know what else to do but rot in my room. 

Six days went by and I couldn't eat or sleep. I tried so hard. I wanted to leave my bed but it seemed pointless. She wasn’t there. Steve kept coming to my door but I couldn't face him. I used to hate sleeping because I would have nightmares but now I hated being awake because this nightmare was far worse. My eyes were permanently bloodshot. I hadn't heard my own voice in days. I knew if I kept this up I would die and that was what I wanted. A slow painful death. Killing myself slowly just like I did to her. 

A knock sounded on my door once again and I ignored it like I always did. The knocks kept getting louder and louder and it wouldn't stop. God Dammit Steve. 

“Steve. Leave.” The knocking never stopped. I got up and ripped the door open, prepared to yell at him but it wasn't him. 

“Not Steve.” Y/n. I couldn’t move. My mind was playing a trick on me. This was low, a new form of torture. I was delirious. 

“I need to lay down please don't make me stand here.” She was smiling. I didn't hesitate. I brought her to my bed and laid her down. 

“You shouldn't be here.” Mainly because I'm afraid I might hurt you again. 

“You need to rest.” Which was entirely true but not my real reason for telling her that. She needed to stay away from me. If this was real and she was alive. She needed to leave. I don't deserve her. 

“Not without seeing you-”

“Why would you want to see me? I did this to you.” I asked her, tears forming in my eyes. How could she still want me after this? After I basically killed her.

“I did this to myself. This was my mistake-” 

“How can you say that! I put a knife into your chest. You told me this was a bad idea. I should have listened.” Is she crazy? I did this. I killed her. I hurt her. I lied to her. 

“I’m a monster. I did this to you-”

“No you didn’t. I did it to myself.” She cried, trying to grab my hand. She was real. Her touch was real. I can't hurt her. If I touch her again I might hurt her. I shook her off. 

“Stop saying that. This wasn’t your fault. How are you defending me-”

“Because I did it. I took that knife and I slit my wrists and then I stabbed myself in the chest.” She said out of nowhere. I know she said it to make me feel better but I felt the opposite. I drove her to kill herself. I really am a monster. 

“I did this. Not you. Not anyone else.” There were tears in her eyes as well as mine. 

“I couldn't let them do it to you, James. I couldn’t let you kill me, you wouldn't survive it. I did what was right for both of us. I made peace with my decision.” She truly thought she did the right thing. My heart broke and at the same time I was so angry. She grabbed my hand and I felt myself start to give in. 

“You tried to kill yourself to spare me pain?” I started to cry. I couldn’t help myself. I knew exactly what I had to do. I needed to end this. HYDRA would come back and they would finish the job this time. I can’t risk her life even if losing her will make me risk mine. 

“I can’t do this.” I said becoming detached. I let her hand fall. 

“Do what?” The same question I had asked her a million times.

“Us.” I switched completely. I became heartless. It was like the winter soldier came over me to control my heart but not my mind  

“What are you talking about? I said it wasn’t your fault. It was mine! We are together, forever. That's all that matters.” She pleaded with me. I could physically hear the sounds of both our hearts shattering into pieces at the sound of her words. 

“I can’t. I don’t want this. I need you to leave.” She stared at me, tears rolling down her face. She needs to go before I change my mind. This is me protecting her. 

“Jarvis, tell Steve to get y/n she's in my room.” Tears rolled down my face and I angrily wiped them away. A minute later Steve walked in. He looked sad and disappointed. He looked like he pitied me. 

“No. I’m not leaving.” Y/n said and she scrambled back up to the headboard of the bed. I could see her wince with the movement, She was desperate. I was too. I backed up until my back hit the wall. 

“You need to rest.” Steve said and slowly walked to my bed. 

“No! No!” She screamed. It was taking everything in me to not run to her. He put his hands under her legs and lifted her. She was in so much pain. She tried to fight back but she couldn't. Her breath started to get uneven and it brought me back to the night we showered together. The night I told her I would never leave her. 

“Bucky, don't do this. I love you. You said you wouldn't leave me.” Dagger. I was bleeding from the inside out. I deserved this. 

She pleaded with Steve to stop. He kept walking toward the door. She held her chest. Pain etched on her face. She started hyperventilating, her hand came up to her chest and I could feel it too. 

“Please, don’t leave me.” She whispered. I turned away and never looked back. This is what was best. 

Two and a half weeks later. 

“They won’t let her return to the team until they know she is stable.” Steve said to the group. Everyone wanted to know if y/n was okay. It made sense. She had gone through so much. Bucky sat in the corner away from everyone else, staring through his hands. 

“She spent three days in a fucking psych ward because she wouldn’t’ talk, eat, drink, or stop crying. You really think she's ready to come back?” Clint said, angry. He loved y/n like a sister. It was so hard to see her like this. He relied so much on Laura for support right now and he was thankful he had her. 

“She is ready. We all have gone through something and come out of it stronger. Maybe it will take her a while but she has this. Let her have this.” Natasha said. 

“I vote no. She is straight out of the looney bin. She needs time. She tried to kill herself for christ sake-” Tony said, getting cut off by Bruce.

“I did too and I am still here. I still have the choice to be here. Just because the other guy spit out my bullet doesn't make it any different. You need to let her make this decision. Embrace it don't push her away. She needs us.” Bruce said. 

Then she walked in. She looked surprisingly fine. Her hair was straightened and she wore a pair of spandex shorts and a short tank top.

“I hope I’m not interrupting but I am gonna go workout in the training room if anyone wants to join. Steve?” Y/n looked at Steve. They had gotten really close the last couple of weeks. He had been there for her. He never left her side and when she was in the psych ward he slept in the waiting room refusing to leave until she was ready. Bucky was his best friend but he loved y/n and he felt responsible for what happened to her. He couldn't imagine what she was feeling. 

“Of course. I’ll be down in ten.” Steve smiled softly. Bucky watched the whole interaction. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears. She never looked at him. Maybe she didn't see him but he doubted that was true. She walked away and down to the elevator. 

“Good enough for everyone?” Nat said and she got up too, going to change and train. 

A few hours later and many jokes with y/n later, the team was called on a mission. Y/n wasn’t asked to come but she understood she didn't think she was ready either. They weren't supposed to be gone long Steve reassured her but it felt like forever. 

Everything was dark. The tower was lonely and empty. I feel so lost. I try to put on a show of acting like my old self but I can’t. Something is missing. Bucky. Bucky is missing and I can’t escape him. Everywhere I look he is there. Down to the plums on the island counter. 

I head back to my room and lay on my bed. My thoughts are getting the better of me. I don’t know how long I can do this. I don’t know how long I can live. I'm surviving not living at this point. I go over to my record player and put on Dream a Little Dream of Me but Doris Day and I know exactly what I’m going to do. I can’t do this anymore. I turn the volume up extremely loud and run the bath. I undress and grab the pills from the bathroom sink. Tears rolled down my face. I grab my glass of water and I swallow the whole bottle. I let the glass and bottle fall. Glass clattering everywhere. Blood slowly starts to appear on my feet from the shattered pieces. 

A particular sharp piece catches my eye. I pick it up and get into the tub. The lights were off and I left my candles burning. The city illuminates the bathroom and I can see clearly. The water soothes my soul but images run through my mind of the night Bucky and I showered. I can feel his touch. It’s soft and he holds me up. I feel it. It's so real. 

“Bucky.” 

“Yes, doll?”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I would never. I'll always be with you.” I hummed. I take the glass and drag it over my skin where I would have had scars if it wasn’t for Dr. Cho’s skin regenerator. The pain is searing and it brings me back a little bit. Bucky is gone now. The tears fall and the bath water starts to turn red. It's clear by my feet that the splash from my arm pushes the crimson until the entire water is no longer translucent. 

“I’m so scared James.”

“Doll, come dance with me.” Bucky offers his hand. 

“Our song is on James.” I smile. 

“I’m too tired to dance. Can we just hold each other here? My head on your chest like old times.” I closed my eyes. Content. 

“No!” He yelled but when I looked at him his face was calm.

PLEASE COMMENT. I have also uploaded this story on Wattpad and I think I am going to make it a real series.

Please Don't Leave Me by dracomalfoyloki (JBB's Doll)

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

♡

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: fluff, angst, heated make out session, bad words, mentions of breeding kink, pregnancy kink, mentions of sex itself, mentions of pregnancy symptoms such as urinating a lot (maybe you shouldn't read it if it bothers you)

Not proofread, guys, sorry. My new kitten has kept me awake almost all night 🤡 but she's already the love of my life anyway. Thank you for all the comments and support! You guys really make my day

When a word appears in italic, it's the meaning of a na'vi word said previously.

Chapter 7

♡

Chapter 6

"Hey, skxawng." Said Kiri, when she saw you inside your home, putting some things that were messy in place. Neteyam had left to prepare for dinner time with the rest of the people and after he was gone you only slept like 15 minutes because after that you were being awakened all the time from your sleep to pee until you finally gave up and started to clean some mess in your house. Just pregnant things. "Feel like telling me how the fuck you let my brother knock you up?" the blue Omatikaya girl closed her eyes, put her tongue out her mouth and pronounced a big "ughhh"

You smiled wide and screamed "Hey, bestieeee! I missed you so much. It's been a while. Everything just started to get so chaotic lately and I didn't have a chance to talk to you."

Kiri sat on the ground next to you.

"Yeah, of course. It's a chaos that you mated with my older brother and did not tell me first! Worse than that: you guys are expecting a baby!!! Ma Eywa, what the...?!" She couldn't believe this madness

You started laughing at Kiri's disbelief. The na'vi young female was treating this situation like it was the craziest thing possible but it actually wasn't. But you got what she meant, you knew it was weird to imagine your best friend being your brother's mate. And you were pregnant with Neteyam's child. You knew she must get so freaking weirded out imagining you two... you know what. "Poor Kiri" you thought, finding the whole thing way too amusing

"I'm sorry I never told you about me liking Neteyam. I was just scared he would hear you telling it to someone we both trust, like Spider, for example, and I was insecure about him not thinking of me as attractive and getting the ick knowing that I liked him, because, you know, I'm no na'vi." You looked a little sad saying those last words

"(y/n), I'd never tell anyone, even Spider. You hurt me if you think I would." Kiri protested, a little sadness in her beautiful eyes

"I'm sorry, Kiri syulang." (flower) You used to call her that because of how much she loves Pandora's plants "I didn't mean to hurt you. Come here." You said, opening your arms, asking for a hug

Kiri went to hug you and said "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm here whining instead of saying that I'm surprised but I'm so, so happy my bestie is pregnant."

A smile took over your lips

"Thank you." You broke the hug and looked at her "Do you know what Neytiri and Jake think about it? Are they okay with it?" Your heart felt tight inside your chest

"They are. They are actually really happy" Kiri was smiling

"Thank you, Great Mother!" You breathed in relief

Your best friend loved how much you loved and was connected to Eywa, even being human. She had so much affection for Spider but she knew he didn't feel the same way. So you ended up being her best friend because she could relate more to you. Being insanely connected to Eywa was a big part of who Kiri was.

Kiri waited for you to get ready and the two of you headed together to the part of the land where the people would sit side by side to eat every eclipse.

Your belly was still not showing so nobody could notice anything different and you were so greatful for that. You didn't like being the center of attention, especially because you had always felt like a freak. You were a human girl among the na'vi. Even if there were other humans living in Pandora too, there weren't many of them and most of them prefered to keep a respectful distance from the Omatikaya and stick to themselves, sometimes even eating all meals inside the lab. You were always different. Like Spider, you'd rather be transferred to a na'vi body forever, if you could.

Kiri and you sat at the green grass and started talking about trivial things, both glad to catch up. But soon everyone's attention was called to the Olo'eyktan, Jake Sully, who stood in front of everyone, in a higher place than the other people, so he could be more easily seen and heard.

"My son Neteyam, the Olo'eyktan in training, has something really important to tell you all." He said, loud enough to echo around that place

"Oh, no." You thought "Please, don't let it be what I think it is"

Neteyam was standing next to his mother, the Tsahìk, but after his father spoke, he stepped further next to Jake and said:

"I have chosen a mate." So many whispers could be heard around that bonfire "I know I should have taken more time and should have courted her before mating and for that I apologize. I did not give off a good example as the Olo'eyktan in training." The Omatikaya boy had a stern expression in his beautiful face

"But Eywa blesses his choice either way and that's what matters." Neytiri started talking "Now, I'm going to formally introduce Neteyam's mate to all of you. Will you come over here, paskalin, please?"

You wanted to die. Just. Freaking. Die. Why, Eywa?! You had just said you didn't want any attention on you tonight. Your heart was beating louder than an army of na'vi hissing together.

You knew you had no option but to get over there. It was part of the na'vi ways. Law must be obeyed in Pandora to keep the balance. Eywa said so. And you just couldn't leave Neteyam alone up there, risking getting on Jake's bad side. Jake was a great person but Eywa, he could get really mad sometimes, specially with Lo'ak and Neteyam. Your mate carried so much weight in his shoulders already. You would be a terrible mate if you didn't go there, even in fear. And you loved Neteyam enough to swallow the lump in your throat and start walking towards the three Omatikaya, so, you did.

Some na'vi did not like the idea that the next Olo'eyktan was gonna have a human mate, and you couldn't blame them, when they saw you right next to Neteyam. But, thank Eywa, most Omatikaya accepted the fact with little to no bad expression in their faces. Most of them were surprised, of course, but it was a weird surprise, not a bad one. And you knew they couldn't do much. Jake and Neytiri were accepting you before the clan like Eytukan and Mo'at did with Jake, back when he was still on the RDA program. What were they gonna do? They knew their place but more importantly, they deeply respected and admired their Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk.

Just a few hours later you gave Neteyam a goodbye kiss, he hugged you tight whispering in your ear "Take care, my yawne. I wish I could sleep next to you tonight but it's too dangerous for you in your current state to go to the forest with me and sleep in a tree and you still live with your mom." He chuckled "Ao'ite would skin me alive if she had to be a third wheel for us tonight. Even knowing that I would never do anything other than give you a peck on the lips and hug you tight in front of her." You laughed a bit loud and he kissed your cheek and you both parted, each one heading to their own parents' home.

♡.°

A bit more than a week had passed and Neteyam had already built a home for the both of you and your child (with the help from Lo'ak and other two na'vi young man who were their friends). You were in awe of how beautiful and cozy it was when you first entered the space. Tonight, you were in Neteyam's arms, cuddling with him while he kissed you tenderly. The kiss started to heat up and when you realized Neteyam was holding tight onto your thigh and that made you whimper in his mouth.

"I know you like that. That's why I do it, my baby." He said right next to your lips

He kept kissing you, his tongue massaging yours and then he spoke:

"Are you happy that I impregnated you?" He had a dirty look in his face

"So happy, Teyam. I'm so happy my belly is finally getting big." You said, feeling things down there already

As you were carrying a na'vi baby in your womb and you were human, considerably smaller than the na'vi women, your belly was big enough to be a 5 months old pregnant bump on someone who would be carrying a human child.

Neteyam caressed your swollen but still kinda small belly and said:

"I know." His breath faltering, his fingers feeling the bump, making him have to control his deepest urges to fuck you "You're already getting me boners when I shouldn't be getting one. " You two laughed "You got me hiding from everyone in sight until I get where dad is waiting for me, when I leave in the morning for training, because the image of you smiling at me, all sleepy, telling me to take care and that you love me, with this cute, fucking sexy belly makes me wanna rip your clothes off, yawnetu."

☆°•☆

Taglist:

@lik0

@live-laugh-neteyam

@thelovewhisperer

@ducks118

@sweetllamaparadise

@a-blog-name-2003

@cautionworks

@yeosxxx

@anxietydrogz

@destinylb

@behindthearcane

[dizzyjelly]

Our Little Secret pt. 2(18+)

Part 1 here!

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: you and Abby spend the night together which leaves you feeling guilty, and then avoiding Lila for a bit. Abby invites you to a party and you go, spending the night with her once again. You feel bad again of course, but the worst is yet to come because later you find out Lila found an Instagram post from the party.

Cw: fighting, angst, drinking, smoking weed, smut, pussy licking, fingering, strap sucking, strap-on sex

Abby kissed down your neck, now trailing along your collarbones as your back arched at the feeling of her warm lips against your skin. She let out a low chuckle at this, putting her hand to your tummy and pushing you back down so your back rested flat on the bed. You couldn't help the moan that fell past your lips at this motion, she was so much stronger than you it was hot.

In no time she'd made her way down to the waistband of your pj pants, she looked up at you and waited until you nodded to pull them off. You sighed, your head falling back into her pillows as she kissed your wet cunt through your cotton panties.

"Abbyyy please." You whined.

"Please what?" She asked in a condescending tone as she slowly rubbed your clit through your panties, "what do you want sweet girl?"

"Want you to touch me. U-underneath my panties." You explained yourself, a small moan escaping your lips as she continued to tease.

"Mm, yeah?" You nodded aggressively, "then beg." Her voice was demanding now.

"P-pleasee Abby please. I need you. Pleasepleaseplease~" You felt put of breath.

She must've deemed your pleas enough as she finally removed your panties, tossing them somewhere on her bedroom floor before diving in between your legs. Your legs came to rest on her shoulders as she brought her muscular arms around your thighs. All the while her tongue worked wonders on your clit. She kept up an unbelievably pleasant pattern, slow, fast, really fast, then slow again.

First she'd just flicked it up and down, hut after a minute she drew infinity signs on your bundle of nerves. You were absolutely on top of the world, having to bring a hand to your mouth to suppress your moans. We couldn't have Lila hearing what you were up to.

A small gasp fell from your lips as Abby slid both her ring and middle finger inside you with ease due to how wet you'd already been. You were practically biting down on your fingers now, being so full accompanied with the stimulation on your clit had you writhing with pleasure.

It didn't take long for you to become close, that familiar pressure building in your lower stomach. You were finding it near impossible to keep quiet, but you managed somehow. Abby could sense you were close, as she could feel you tightening around her fingers. She hummed lightly, clearly delighted with the effect she had on you.

Once you finally did finish, it was like you went to heaven and back. You weren't a virgin, no, but you'd never felt this euphoric with anybody before. Maybe it was the excitement of knowing that Abby was someone you shouldn't be with in the first place. You came down from your high and she helped you to get dressed.

"Do you want me to do anything? For you?" You asked, chewing at your thumbnail.

"I'm ok, next time sweetheart." She chuckled before laying down so she was spooning you.

Her arms came to hold your stomach and you felt sick. The idea of a next time was so intriguing and exciting, yes, but you were terrified more than anything. If Lila ever found out. She'd probably never talk to you again. As you tried to go to sleep, all you could think was what the hell am I going to do.

♡ A Few Days Later ♡

You were starting to panic. It had been almost impossible for you to hang out with Lila after your night with Abby. Not only did you feel so dirty and were horrible at keeping secrets, but Abby was no help. She wouldn't stop hanging around you two. Always finding a way into your conversation, and the way she looked at you.

There was no doubt she was teasing you on purpose. So you distanced yourself. It had now been three entire days since you went to their house. And of course, Lila was calling you now. You had no choice but to answer.

"Hey! What's up?" You did your best to sound nonchalant.

"Hey, look I'm sorry about that argument, ok? You know I didn't mean it." Lila apologized.

"Oh it's fine, I know." You swallowed harshly.

"Ok, well you don't really wanna hang out anymore. Just thought something might be up." Lila sounded genuinely sad.

You felt horrible, and unbelievably guilty. You sighed before speaking again.

"I know it's it's not that I promise. I just need a little space." That wasn't at all the right thing to say, but you said it.

"Ok, well just let me know when you wanna hang out again. Bye." And with that she'd hung up.

You spent the rest of that day feeling like absolute shit. All you could think about was how much Lila was going to hate your guts, and it hurt. Not to mention you were also home alone, so there wasn't much to do.

As day slowly started to creep into night you were sat on your living room couch, watching TV and enjoying pizza. You'd managed to relax yourself just enough so that your thoughts weren't going a mile a minute. Then, there was a knock at the door. Your brows furrowed as you looked at your watch, it was almost eleven at night.

While you knew you shouldn't you got up and went to the door. You didn't plan to answer it, just see who it was. You felt the color drain from your face as you saw her, Abby. You pulled the door open with a sigh.

"What could you possibly want?" Your voice held annoyance and irritation.

Quickly you felt embarrassed as you were dressed in grinch pajama pants and a white tank top that left little to the imagination. Abby smirked, her eyes shifting from your own to your chest then back to your eyes.

"There's this party tonight. Wanted you to be my date." She shrugs, her hands resting in the pockets of her gray sweats.

"And what makes you think I want to go?" You crosd your arms with sass.

"Don't you? Have a drink, dance, smoke some weed. I don't care. Just go with me." She tilted her head playfully.

You sigh, she was going to be the death of you.

"Sit on the couch. You're not coming to my room." You order and watch as she does as she's told.

Quickly you rush upstairs into your room so you can change. Eventually you settle on your favorite jean shorts and a tight fitting red long sleeved top. You did your makeup and put on your converse. After you feel ready you head back downstairs, a tiny black purse held by your shoulder. It contained your phone and lipgloss, some cash and that was it.

"Damn!" Abby exclaimed, walking to you.

Her hands rubbed up and down your arms as she imitated a wolf whistle. You rolled your eyes at her, giving a light punch to her shoulder. She let out a small laugh, placing her pointer finger underneath your chin and tilting it upward. She then leaned down to place a quick kiss to your lips, loving the feeling of your shiny lipgposss smearing onto her rough chapped lips.

When she finally pulls away she holds your hand and leads you out to her car. She opens the door for you then gets into the driver seat. You smile at how much of a gentlelady she's being. She puts the radio at low volume, one hand on the steering wheel. Her other hand comes to rest on your thigh for the duration of the drive.

Your breath hitches at her touch, it had you thinking back to the other night. God that night was really something else. Abby chuckles at this, but decides not to say a word. She pulls up to the house, parking on the road outside. Her hand comes back to her side before she exits the car, opening your door for you once again.

You let out a small sigh, your hands resting on Abbys shoulders as you pushed her so her back was against the car. A sigh fell from your lips as you leaned against her, your chest against her own as you moved your lips with hers.

Her hands came to hold the small of your back, and she pushed her tongue into your mouth. A small moan escaped your lips as she swirled it around your own. After making out with her for a good minute, you pulled away. A small giggle came from you as she kept a hand at the small of your back and walked you inside.

You stood awkwardly, bringing your hands together to fidget about as Abby was busy greeting friends. Then one of the girls she'd said hello to when you first walked in came up to you.

"Hey, I'm Nora. You're Y/n, right?" Nora's question caught you by surprise.

How did she know about you? I mean you and Abby had only gotten romantically involved with each other days prior, had she liked you before then?

"Uh yeah, nice to meet you Nora." You smiled.

"You as well. Hey, would you be down for a smoke?" She asked as she pulled a joint from her coat pocket.

"Yes, please." You laugh, desperately wanting something to take off your nervous edge right now.

Nora smiled and took you over to the couch, it was red and velvet. She stuck the joint in her mouth and took out a lighter, taking a moderate puff before handing it off to you. You took it between your thumb and pointer finger, taking a longer drag than she did and letting out a small cough afterward.

Before you knew it you two had finished the joint and were laughing your asses off. Nora made some stupid joke but you found it absolutely hilarious, leaning forward and bracing yourself with a hand on your knee. Then Abby came to stand in front of you two, two drinks in hand.

"Abby!" You exclaimed.

"Hey, you two seem to be having fun." She commented with a chuckle as she sat beside you, handing you a drink.

"You didn't tell me your girl knew how to have so much fun! And you said she's younger?" Nora asked, watching as you and Abby sit your drinks and Abby puts an arm around your shoulders.

"She is." Abby smiled, her eyes only on you.

You were oblivious to this as you were busy downing your drink and enjoying yourself.

"I'm eighteen, not that young." You commented with a playful roll of your eyes.

Abby was older, but just by two years. You were younger but not so much younger, and it's not like you were experienced. You'd been to tons of parties before this, you've drank and smoked weed. Never cigarettes though, that shits addictive. You finished your drink and held your empty cup out to Abby.

"You want another?" She asked as she grabbed it from you and stacked it in her own which was also empty.

You just shook your head no, then let out a small sigh. It's not like you were drunk or anything but you were buzzed, and you always got a little tired whenever you smoked. Soon you were leaning into Abby with your head on your shoulder as you brought your feet up on the couch behind you.

She smiled contently as she continued to hold her arm around you, her other hand coming to rest on your thigh. The party continued on and for the next half hour or so you and Abby sat and spoke with Nora. She proved to br very kind and extremely funny. After a while you had to use the restroom.

Abby got confused as you stood without a word, and immediately followed you down the hall. She went into the bathroom with you and stood against the counter, scrolling on her phone as you did your business. Once finished you rinsed your hands then waited for Abby to lead the way back out. As you walked back to the living room your eyes widened and you smiled, your favorite song was on!

"Hey, this is my favorite song!" You spoke excitedly to Abby.

"Yeah? Let's dance then!" She matched your energy and smiled at how cute you were.

Her hands came to your waist as you moved your body to the music. Abby couldn't help it as she felt herself getting turned on by how sensually you'd moved. Your hands came to the back of Abbys neck, playing with her braid as you danced. After a moment you leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear.

"I like you Abby." You bit your lip as you pulled away.

Abby shook her head lightly as she exhaled heavily at your words. Instead of giving you a verbal response she pulled you so your chest was flus against hers. Your lips met hers in no time and they moved perfectly in sync. It was as if everyone around you had disappeared and you were the only two there. The way her hands moved up and down your sides, squeezing lightly in all the right places, made you feel dizzy.

You couldn't help it as small whines came form you as Abbys tongue started to move against your own. She now wrapped her arms around your back, pulling you unbelievably closer as she bit down on your bottom lip slightly. You pulled away with a small moan at this.

"Lets-" you took a deep breath as you glanced around the room for a moment, "Let's go somewhere, continue the other night?" You bit your lip.

"I like the way you think." Abby smiled, her hand resting at the small of your back as she took you upstairs and into a bedroom.

She locked the door and shut off the overhead light, the lamp on the nightstand providing a small amount of light. You were already sat on the bed, with your back against the headboard as you waited for Abby. She kicked her shoes off before joining you, her arms caging you in as she hovered over top of you to kiss you once again.

Your hands came to her shoulders, pushing her off of you so the roles were reversed. Now you straddled her as your hands held the sides of her neck while you continued to kiss her. A small gasp left you as you realized she was packing. Her hands held your hips softly, letting you take control. With eagerness and excitement you began to work your way to her jaw and down her neck, making sure to leave a hickey or two.

Abby let out a sigh of pleasure as you worked your way down, pulling her shirt off then massaging her tits. She bit her lip to stop herself form letting out a moan, knowing she'd feel embarrassed if she had. Finally you got to the waistband of her sweats, looking at her for approval before you removed them.

Her strap sprung out beautifully and you swore your mouth might water at the sigh of it. She watched in awe and you made your way between her legs, laying on your stomach as you took the silicone into your hands. Now she couldn't help herself as she moaned when you wrapped your lips around the tip of it, all whole holding very intimate eye contact with her.

You pushed yourself down until you felt it at the back of your throat, causing you to gag a bit. You'd let up just the slightest, then keep working away at it. I mean it's not like you had lube so this would have to do. Abby sighed as her head fell back onto the pillows, her hand resting on your scalp as she pushed you down.

After a minute or two you decided it was enough, you smiled at Abby as you pulled off of her and she held a hand to your cheek. You leaned over to kiss her before lowering yourself down onto your strap, moaning at how pleased it felt.

Abbys hands rested on your hips, holding a nice grip as your hands held her shoulders while you began to bounce on her cock. You whined and moaned as you picked up your pace, the silicone hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. After a little bit you felt yourself getting closer and as you did it became harder to keep up.

"A-abby, please. Need help.." You whined, your movements slowly coming to a stop.

She chuckled, moving her legs so her knees were bent.

"Yeah pretty girl? Don't worry, I'll take care of you?" She whispered, then began to thrust up into you hard and fast.

You'd only take a few minutes to cum and it was so wonderful when you did, Abby followed soon after. Once you were done she helped you get cleaned up and then came back to bed to snuggle you. You hummed contently as you laid your head onto her chest, the quiet sound of her heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

♡♡♡

The next morning you stirred awake in Abbys arms, groaning at the small headache you'd gotten. Abby snickered at you, kissing you on the forehead. She'd been up for a bit, just scrolling on her phone as she waited for you to wake up.

"Morning princess." She spoke softly.

"Ugh, morning. My head hurts." You whined lightly, bringing your hand to her shoulder, tracing shapes onto it.

"Aw, I'm sorry baby. You can come over to mine, get some advil?" She suggested.

"Uh, no" You chuckled, sitting up and running your hands through your hair, "Lila will be there so let's go to mine." You spoke as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Ah, ok." Abby nodded, but she seemed upset.

"What?" You asked as you stood to put your shoes on, "you knew that we'd be keeping this a secret."

"Yesh I know it just sucks." Abby shrugged, getting her shoes on as well.

You nodded silently, you couldn't deny that. As you followed Abby out and to her car you felt weird. Last night was fun, but just like last time, you felt that guilt again. It was hard not to, but it was even harder to stop now. Abby was so intriguing and exciting, there was no way you couldn't continue this with her. Besides it's not like Lila would be finding out anytime soon.

The two of you got back to your house and you took some Advil while Abby sat on your couch. After that you offered to make her something to eat and she accepted. You both sat and enjoyed a meal together, snuggled up on your couch while the TV played. Eventually Abby decided to go home and funny enough Lila texted you a few minutes after that.

Lila: hey! You wanna come over?

While you were prepared to decline, you decided not to this time.

You: yeah sure! See you in a few.

Once you got to Lilas she was acting off to say the least. Didn't give you a greeting hug, wasn't talking much. And she kept giving you this look. Like glaring at you. After an hour or so you finally brought it up.

"Hey is everything ok? You're being kinda weird." You chuckled, trying to keep things lighthearted.

You sat on her bed together, across from one another.

"Um you know what, no actually it's not." Your brows furrowed as she took out her phone, "so I went on Insta this morning and I see this." She shows you the post.

It was ten images put together and she was on the third one, your eyes widened asyou quickly recognized it. It was from last night, a photo somebody snapped while you and Abby were kissing on the dance floor. You let out a deep exhale, a gigantic pit growing in your stomach.

"Lila, I-" She didn't even let you finish.

"You know what Y/n, I don't care! I don't. You disgust me!" She yelled at you as she shook her head in disapproval.

You felt tears prick your eyes, your breathing becoming more irregular as seconds passed.

"Please, Lila, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen I just. I don't know. I'm really sorry ok?" You apologized, crying now.

Then if things couldn't get any worse, Abby knocked at the door before swinging it open.

"Everything ok in here? Heard yelling." She asked.

"Oh perfect, everything's great Abby. Except for the fact I just found out you and Y/n are dating." Lila answered as she stood and crossed her arms.

Abby frowned as she saw you sat on Lilas bed, crying.

"Lila, listen I think you're being a little dramatic." Abby would try to reason.

"Bull fucking shit. Y/n get out, now. Go hang out with your girlfriend. I don't even wanna speak to you." Lila ordered.

You sighed, standing and running out of her room then downstairs. Abby followed you, grabbing your arm before you could leave.

"Hey, she'll get over it." She tried ti reassure.

"Yeah right, she hates me." You answered still teary eyed.

You didn't say anything else, instead you just left and went home to cry in your room. If you felt bad before you definitely felt terrible now.