#maybe I broke the rules but in my defense no one was following the rules before me anyways

[theshadowrealmitself]

Ty @phanboyo for the tag!

Rules: Make a new post and post your latest line from your WIP & tag as many people as there are words.

“Because every time you say being with me is “logical,” all I can think of is how many things I hate doing but do anyways because of logic, like being civil instead of punching jerks cause I don’t wanna spend a night in jail! I just worry…that you secretly resent being with me…”

(Oof, I am not going to be able to tag that many people but I’ll give it my best shot)

@warlock-pan-astronaut @pandorasparad0x @asterism343 @lenacraft @roundaboutnow @charmps-you-grickly @hopeful-bat @kelpeigh @zephyrwrites @dyinggirldied @ghostface3100 @daxsleftshoe @zero-way-out @chickenlover-19 @vivacia-18 @reveriewings @madametamma @magicalprofessorsludgedeputy @reckless-desire-to-live @bllbabaggins @kaisspamblog @mystic-fairy-tame @auroraborealis95 @harley-rose25 @mango-meister @candyheartdoe @ghospectr @easilydistractedandamused @ashoutinthedarkness @quetzalrofl @screamingrunawayzombie @they-meme-well (giving up here cause I’m a quitter 😭😭😭)

[jji-lee]

damn your friends for being broke, damn them for taking those extra shifts at the clinic, and damn them for being right about mark lee being a good distraction. it's not that you had begun to like mark but you'd like to call it maybe the start of a friendship. the main issue with him was the intolerable noise that he made next door, and thank god to his crush, those noises had stopped, so truthfully nothing was holding you back from being nice to him now.

that's why even though romeo, well longlee now, had just made you feel like an idiot, it wouldn't hurt to go and spend time with a friend, even if it was mark lee. so you slipped on some pajama shorts and the hoodie that mark had gifted you, confidently walking up to his door and knocking loudly.

your confidence lasted approximately 10 seconds as the door opened revealing a surprisingly very hot mark lee. okay, you're not blind, of course mark has always been attractive, but right now, basketball shorts and a white tank top, hair still wet from the shower, mark looked beyond attractive. you cleared your throat hoping mark hadn't caught you gawking at him, but when you looked up at him, his smug smile spoke for itself.

"enjoying the view?"

you snapped out of your haze, rolling your eyes at his question.

"in your dreams lee, now let me in it's chilly out here."

as you entered mark's living space it was almost exactly what you expected, empty. the walls were bland and white, only a couch and coffee table in his living room, his kitchen basically nonexistent, did he even live here?

"stop judging, this areas for my one night stands only, nothing special."

you shivered, this was where he made all that disgusting noise. no wonder it was so loud! his living room wall was the one connected to your room! wait he wasn't expecting you to sit on that couch, god knows what has been done on that couch. you swallowed hard preparing yourself to sit in an area that could've touched mark lee's bare ass.

"fortunately for you, we're not gonna be spending time here, come, follow me."

he reached for your hand, pulling you away from the living room. thank the heavens, you weren't going to be sitting anywhere near where mark does the deed, but wait, where was he taking you? your eyes widen as you realized he was dragging you into his room. you snatched your hand away taking a few steps back,

"no way i'm going into your bedroom mark lee, who knows what goes on in there!"

he chuckled at your reaction, holding his hands up defensively,

"i have a 'no girls' policy for my room, it's 100% sex free, promise!"

he stuck his pinky out towards you, attempting to seal the promise. why is he letting you into his room then, he must really like this girl if he's breaking his 'no girls' rule just to get some romance tips. you swatted his hand away,

"fine, but you try anything and i'll kill you, i know how to fight mark lee!"

he grabbed your hand again dragging you through the doorway of his room,

"sure sure, whatever you say y/n. see? perfectly normal room."

mark's room was the exact opposite of what you had just seen. it was simple yes, but it felt warm. the lights were dimmed, and his curtains were wide open showing an amazing view of the city, maybe you should open your curtain more often, but what really caught your eye was the desk in front of his bed.

there was a huge monitor sitting in the middle of the desk, a picture of him and his friends as the screensaver, with 2 large speakers on each side of it. he had 3 pairs of headphones lying around, and a shelf above the monitor with little action figures he seemed to have been collecting throughout the years. next to his desk was the most beautiful guitar you'd ever seen, black with a large flower carved into it's side.

you walked towards it, crouching to get a better look,

"can i touch it?"

mark rushed to your side, grabbing the guitar,

"uh yeah, here, come sit, and i'll put it on your lap."

you complied sitting on his bed, feeling the weight of the guitar as he placed it on your lap, you ran your fingers through the carved design,

"it was my mom's, it's a lily, the flower, they're her favorites."

he smiled to himself, watching as you inspected the guitar,

"oh mark, i'm sorry, i didn't know, about your mom i mean."

you got up to put the guitar away, feeling like you were holding something a little too personal to mark's,

"what? OH, no no! my mom's not dead, she's just overseas, she gave me the guitar before she went away!"

he helped you put the guitar back in it's stand, laughing nervously at the misunderstanding. you reached up to slap his arm, making him flinch

"stop talking about your mom like that! you're gonna make people think she's dead!"

you backed away from mark choosing to sit back down on his bed. he scratched the back of his neck,

"i mean, i don't usually talk about my mom to people, sooo..."

you smiled to yourself, glad he was beginning to feel comfortable around you, wait why were you glad? one heartbreak from a guy you've never seen and you're starting to smile at the idea of mark lee?

"well, since we're opening up then, i've had a pretty shit day."

he sat on the bed next to you,

"wanna talk about it?"

"hmm maybe after a couple drinks, you got any tequila?"

he snorted, shocked by you request,

"your day was that bad?"

you pursed your lips, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding,

"lets just say, today's lesson is: what not to do if you wanna win over your crush."

𖦹 .ᐣ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ cryptic crush — [20] rizz

previous — masterlist — next

notes : haha what were the flowers that mark failed to give y/n... we should've know y/n drunk flashing was gonna catch up to her

taglist : @sunghoonsgfreal , @dalsosapple , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @miichellehciim , @h-aechanie , @hizhu , @mystverse , @ppeachyttae , @jae-n0 , @onlyhyunjin , @alethea-moon , @onyourmark-99 , @sunnystarred , @p-d1ddy , @hisrkive , @flwrs4marklee , @haechskiss , @rutheaflowers , @busy-daydreaming02 , @byeonwooseokabs , @bunniin , @odxrilove , @candied-czennie , @injunnie-lemon , @sunflowerhae , @nosungluv , @222brainrot , @vklve , @aerivrs , @slayhaechan , @aek1ra , @honeynanamin , @roseangelxfuma , @starfilledgaze , @meowtella , @grassbutneo , @hyuck-me , @lovm4rk , @minkyuncutie , @babystrlla , @tynlvr , @jakesbubu , @ddieumi , @yutasputa69 , @mrkleelvr , @spiderm444rk , @zzurao , @haechoshi , @brii-sunwoos-version , @nneteyamss ,

[hoshinasblade]

im going to need you all to send me happy thoughts please because i am having a very bad week and it's only monday lol anyway here's some angst. i know i have written a lot of stuff here already but so far this one is my favorite (despite me literally drafting this in my phone so expect some grammar errors or spelling mistakes), so if you can, let me know what you folks think. likes, replies, and reblogs are appreciated but i will bonk you in the head if you repost or copy any of my writings. THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS ASK!

you could bring a numbered kaiju into submission but it seems that your heart is an entirely different monster.

you should have known better than to fall in love with a colleague, and you should have known better than to fall in love with the third division's vice-captain. your own commander, gen narumi, threw you a dirty look when he found out about your intimate relationship with the bowl cut bastard, and as much as you want to come up with a good enough excuse, the best thing you were able to give is a cliched the heart wants what the heart wants. narumi scoffed at you upon hearing it, following it up with a personal vow to never be romantically involved with anyone in the force.

it didn't have to be said but hoshina still did the honors - there's not a lot of ground rules in your relationship but the first one is this: you and he are soldiers first, lovers second. you pondered if it was supposed to hurt you, and you asked yourself what the hell is wrong with you to say yes to such a set-up: all those love advice by your family and friends about how you should not settle with the bare minimum flew out the window. "i have a responsibility to my division. but i also know i love you," was what hoshina told you. in hindsight maybe you did not care about anything else he said except the part where he confessed he loves you.

you convinced yourself that nothing is more important than being loved by hoshina soshiro. and you persuaded yourself that if he could place you second in his priorities, you would be able to do so too. "i mean, i was a defense officer before i became your girlfriend," you agreed with him.

but there's no worse lie than the one we tell ourselves, you realised too late.

hoshina soshiro took you to dates almost every weekend although he is also almost always late. but you guess being one of the highest-ranking official in an anti-kaiju division burdens him with a heavier obligation than the rest of the officers so you did what a good girlfriend would do: you tried to understand his situation and offered him comfort whenever you catch him overly stressed or fatigued in his tasks. "i'll make it up to you," he would promise, and you would kiss him on the lips.

but after a while he stopped asking you out entirely, blaming it to his busy schedule - and yours - and a month after that, you would see hoshina soshiro only when there are inter-division conferences. narumi gives you his ugliest frowns everytime he spots the vice-captain walking towards you. "get a room," the first division commander rolled his eyes at you and your boyfriend one time.

to be fair, hoshina is good at making you disregard his misgivings. may it be with his tongue or his fingers, even for just a fraction of an hour, you cannot deny that hoshina makes you feel loved and taken care of. hoshina would tell you he loves you and nothing else matters again in your world but those three little words.

you could have perfectly proceeded in your charade of being fine if hoshina only remembered your anniversary. the straw that broke the camel's back, disappointment and frustration and heart wrenching pain consumed you when it came clear to you that hoshina was not planning for some surprise for you after not giving you a single greeting throughout the day - he simply forgot.

"so it skipped you that today's supposed to be our day, but you had time to go to lunch with okonogi," you accused him, feeling a bit guilty that you are involving another person in the argument. the trip to tachikawa base was not short, and your muscles are already killing you, but you made the effort to see hoshina in hopes you can salvage the occasion. the guilt died down after several seconds when hoshina replied.

"how is okonogi-chan a part of this?" he defended her. it did not escape you how he seemed to not be answering you at all.

"okonogi-chan?" you mocked hoshina. "jesus, i am so tired of this!" you did not recognise the sound of your voice when you shouted. "i - i know what i signed up for when i compromised with you, soshiro. you said duties first, i just did not expect i would be at the bottom of the things you care about. that's if i was even in that list at all."

"that's not fair -"

"what's not fair," you gritted your teeth, "is that you keep treating me like shit." you held back your tears; you refused to cry in front of hoshina - you had already given him the power to hurt you, it would have been to much handing him the knowledge that what is happening is effectively breaking you from you within. softly, you determined to get the bottom of things - fuck your dignity, the most you can get from this scenario is hoshina's honesty. "do you still love me?"

"you know i do," he declared too quickly. hoshina strode towards you, crossing the three, four feet distance to reach you. grabbing your cold hands and attempting to cradle it with his own warm ones, hoshina looked sincere and sorry, and you regret that you cannot for the life of you remember the last time he was this tender with you.

"actually i don't." you did not know how you're supposed to bridge the sea between you and hoshina as you withdrew your clammy hands from his touch. you chose to ignore the sudden sadness that crossed his face when you stepped away from him.

the loud ring of the alarm announcing a kaiju attack echoed in your ears. "i have to go, we'll talk more later," hoshina offered, his stare at you was surely meant to glue you in your spot but you did not let it so. "i love you."

"no, wait." you are a defense officer, and a good one at that, and you thankfully did not have to remind the third division vice-captain of that. "i'm going with you." even on the verge of heartbreak, your response is to stand beside hoshina. you almost winced at the implication.

you did not wait for his approval. narumi will be pissed, he joked after seeing you in a battle suit, helping you out a bit as you pick your weapon of choice. "hey." his grip on your elbow distracted you. "be careful out there," he whispered.

bodies break in the strangest of ways, you found out while fighting a considerable strong honju alone in the sector where you were assigned. you weren't officially in the area to be on duty, and protocol says you cannot be under hoshina's command so you had to be borrowed as a back-up to another platoon. your tenure and experience could easily place you as a team leader, that is why you were confident to face a number of those monstrous creatures at once. that is until the suit you were wearing - just a spare one that hasn't been used yet by a recruit - overheated.

"retreat to somewhere safe," you heard hoshina in your in-ear comms, out of breath. "that's an order." you wanted to assert that he isn't really your commanding officer, that he is not upon him to command you in any way but air feels like liquid in your lungs, the exhaustion catching up to you. in a minute or two the suit will lose its integrity after overheating, and you will be vulnerable to attacks of even the smallest yojus. "stay there and i'll send someone -"

you hoped you were not making a habit of interrupting hoshina as you mustered your strength to speak in a firm sentence - "the mission, is to neutralise the kaiju, sir." you screwed your eyes shut, ignoring the searing sensation of the wound in your shoulder.

throwing caution in the wind, hoshina did not relent. "i will come get you."

"soldiers first, soshiro." the static in your in-ear comms was deafening after you had called the vice-captain by his given name, and knowing that whatever you say will be broadcasted to the other officers, you continued. "to hell with what happens to us, right?"

you couldn't say you recall what happened next. dizzying darkness claimed you as your suit gave out, your combat release putting your body to too much pressure. when you came to consciousness, it was at a hospital - in a white room too big to cater to only one patient. tubes were attached to you, needles poking at the delicate vein in your wrist. it hurts to move, it hurts to discover you woke up alone.

the hours passed, each tick of the hands of the clock racing against your own thoughts. a nurse found you awake while in a roaming duty, and alerted the doctor. it was not after that when you saw hoshina again.

"how are you feeling?" you could sense his awkwardness from across the room. you saw his hesitation to come close to you; you cannot decided whether to feel satisfied that he seems to be in pain seeing you like this.

"i can't do this anymore, soshiro." your throat was dry from not speaking in ages, and your words sounded hoarse, as if you had to scrape yourself for them. "i almost died, and i can't do this anymore."

a piece of you wanted for him to tell you to shut up.

"i could have died, and you weren't there. and my god, this entire time i had to assess if i am just selfish, or greedy, and i know there are people to save, but soshiro, it's tiring to be the one who loves the other more," you exclaimed. "maybe it's my mistake that i am in a relationship with the third division's vice-captain but i fell in love with hoshina soshiro."

"i'm sorry." you didn't miss the slight tremble in hoshina's voice, and your chest tightened because after everything, he couldn't say you what you needed to hear.

"i would have died trying to save you, you know," you added weakly.

"i'm sorry," he repeated like a chant, like some mantra that would cure everything damaged for you and for him.

"me too," you replied, because there was nothing else left to say.

[randomsufff]

Ok idk how to start this but, DBH fandom- there should be more Connor and Simon friendship fics.

Like- don’t get me wrong I love all the fics where Connor joins the Jeri-crew but, for some reason, I feel like Post-Deviant Connor would really get along with Simon specifically . I tried to think of a reason why (other than bc they’re my two favorite characters) and I think it’s because they’re so similar- but also like… ever so slightly diffrent.

They both (again- thinking Deviant Connor) care about others and are nice, and have a placid, intentional innocent look about them (Simon cause he’s a caretaker android and Connor cause he said it was to appeal to others) and yet they’re both incredibly stubborn and very much capable of violence. However, I think Simon tends to see violence as a very, very last resort while I feel like Connor would be a little more quick to resorting to violence if the situation warrants it.

And Simon is capable of violence! He’s a stubborn piece of shit about his ideals! Side rant bout Simon’s fandom characterization; despite how he’s sometimes depicted- Simon is not some “soft UwU boy who stumbles over his words constantly (EspEciAlly if MARKUS is around hu hu hu *wink wink*) and likes to take care of everyone ✨ by being an overbearing, smothering mother ” (I hate when he’s reduced down to that) Just because he’s nice and empathetic doesn’t mean he’s a weak, push over. I mean, hell, dude kept Jericho standing for who knows how many years. He had to insist AND UPHOLD the rule that they don’t leave the ship. Dude straight up wields a gun and kills people if you go the violent route. He obviously doesn’t like it- and any times he promoted to hurt people it usually fails (Thinking of trying to attack the first 2 guards at Stanford or taking the L during the March) but he does it if he’s pushed into it! And he’s headstrong too! Not some weakling who can’t think for himself. Just because he follows Markus’ ruling- dosent mean he’s some pathetic simp who’s only doing it cause it Markus the one who saying it (ok maybe it’s a little bit that- but he’s their leader! He calls the big shots. No duh he’s going to do as he says because he’s the one who gets final say!) I’m pretty sure if you choice the violent route he’ll push back at every turn and he’s soooooooo snappy to the others if Markus is kicked off cause he really thought he would help them. And while I know there are some great , 3D interpretations of Simon- there are quite a bit that, while not to the extreme that I said, tend to flatten Simon to either being just “caring” or “anxious”. And while a lot of his character is caring and anxious, it’s not ALL of it, and there’s that whole other side to him that you’re missing!!! Give him a mf backbone!

Anyway rant over, why Simon specifically as a friend and not the others- well I feel like Simon’s the type of guy who is so easy to befriend and get along with. He’s also, as I mentioned before this long rant, very similar to Connor in personality. Being split between his Machine coding and new Deviancy- I feel like Simon’s also the perfect middle to comfort him and be the friend that man desperately needs.

I don’t know how to explain why I feel this, genuinely! In my opinion/hc, I feel like after the revelation and everything, if Connor were to go back up to the Jeri-crew and try to befriend them: North might try to make niceties since he helped them in the end, but it’ll take a whillllleeee and a lot of effort to break down her defenses. Josh and Markus will try harder to be friendly, but ultimately treat it very businesslike and orderly- cause to them, Connor was more like an ally they gained in the heat of battle then a friend they made. Contrary to belief I feel like Markus wouldn’t extent an offer for Connor to join their crew as one of the leaders. He’s literally an outsider who BROKE in. He had to talk him through breaking his deviancy so he wouldn’t shoot him. He joined the cause at the very, very end. If anything, he’d see Connor as one among the many of their people who helped fight for their freedom (similar to the guy you turn in the Cyberlife supply run)- not a personal, close friend. And Josh, though not thinking of Connor as “one of his people” cause he’s not the head leader, still wouldn’t exactly be eager to befriend Connor. I feel like Josh’s pacifism and Connor’s ruthlessness would clash too much? Sure they’d hang out- but it more of a surface level friendship where’d the offer to grab a metaphorical drink or something is made but never really followed up on. But Simon- if anything I feel like Simon would be the one to check up on Connor and see how he’s doing. Having being deviant the longest, and therefore the wisest and more in tune with his feelings, I think Simon would emphasize and understand the chaotic circumstances of his awakening and try to befriend him genuinely.

All this to say- I need more Connor and Simon being friends. I need Simon to be friends with Connor separately from the group (Cause let’s be honest- he’s so sick of North and Joshs content fighting on that ship bro needs a not of a break). I need them to be kind to each other but also have a snarky, sarcastic relationship, where they both can give as much as they can take. I needed this so bad, I’ve actually come up with a little fic idea for how this supposed friendship would start.

And because this post is already so long- I’m putting it under the cut- but here’s the tagline- Connor and Simon befriend each other but the whole world thinks they’re dating (and they’re really, really not)

So it’s set after the Pacifist and Deviant Connor ending. The Jericho 4 has spread out to tackle the post- revolution issues. Markus and North head to DC to tackle the law making side, Josh travels out around the state/ to nearby cities to set up and help other Deviants while Simon stays in Detroit to help those there.

Simon- being lowkey sad and lost that his teammates spread out, head out for a walk in the snowy dark at like 3am. He’s not exactly a leader in the way Markus is, so he’s struggling with all the attention and pressure it takes to essentially govern a whole city of people. Of course he’s also feeling a bit lonely since everyone there treats him like a god or celebrity. Sure the little gang that he “lead” before Markus is close with him but they’re all out exploring their new freedom. And of the few new androids friends that he’s made, there’s always that feeling of never being able to truly connect with him- some wall he can’t quite break.

While he’s walking he stumbles upon Connor- sitting in the park, Sumo in hand, very lost in thought. Having never interacted much during or even after the whole revolution (since there was so much to do immediately) Simon tentatively walks up and says hi, asks what he’s doing out here at 3am. Gets asked the same thing, and eventually said be needed to clear his head with Connor relating. Eventually it’s revealed that Connor’s also feeling lost and lonely, being the only deviant to stay with the police department. Took a lot of fighting in between Hank and Fowler but eventually he was able to join as a consultant? Some other volunteer position cause he can’t technically get paid (and if he did- what would he spend it on? The food he dosent need to eat? At the abandoned Cyberlife store whose supplied are already being ransacked and distributed?) for now. He generally just hangs around the department with Hank for lack of anything better to do (for those of y’all who watched it- think of Psych with Connor as Shawn Spencer [now isn’t THAT a fic idea]). Not everyone is exactly friendly to him there, and it’s awkward to him to try to be friends with those who saw him as his machine, deviant-hunting self. Also Deviant Connor is socially aware and thus socially awkward so he’s not great at making friends- deviant or human wise.

Bla bla bla- after passing back and forth woes- Simon’s like: “you know what- you’re cool, let’s be friends- it’ll solve both our loner problems.” Very straightforward. Connor’s agrees agreeing stating the mutual benefits (getting to rant about android related problems/ general frustrations and being able to go out somewhere with someone when bored.)

They exchange com-links or numbers or whatever and it’s the start of a great friendship as they get into situations. The media eventually think Simon and Connor are dating cause they hang out so much and it’s the talk of all the media sources. They aren’t and never will (in my head at least- Connor my aroace icon. But this could also be a perfect Connor/Simon fic if that’s your thing) but despite that they keep getting into situations that make it look like they are. It’s very funny. Like Hank will be like “CONNOR! Are you dating…. one of the brutal leaders… of Jericho???” And Connor will be like- “No, Hank wtf” but then immediately accidentally fall into Simon’s arms after stumbling and they’re both like “Fucking RA9, we’re never beating these dating allegations huh.”

This could be a Gen Connor and Simon character study that’s disguised as a fic- but as a Markus/Simon girlie- to make it Markus/Simon- throw in Markus being lowkey jealous as he gets word of this- eventually deciding to come back to Detroit while North stays in DC after the biggest laws are finished being drafted. Cue funny ha ha situations and such. Personally- I don’t see Markus as being an outwardly, possessive jealous-type (as in- he’s not a guy who likes to admit and show he’s jealous) so his reactions to every new SituationTM Connor and Simon end up in is him going “oh… 😀🧍🫠” which I personally find really funny

Anyways- ending this off by saying I expect nothing by shouting all these fic ideas (and there will probably be more for other fandoms lol) and thoughts into the void- I just like sharing these specific scenarios that I make up cause I think other would like them. So maybe you too can also rotate these situations in your brain before you go to bed 😀👍

[buttonloops]

wrestling with the moral OCD lately

ok so, we generally agree that working for a defense contractor or being a cop is bad

but what about working at a bank, with all their bullshit fees and sometimes predatory loans? What about working for a payment processor that casually grinds sex workers underfoot as "too risky" and "too much hassle"?

Working entry level in the call center might be one thing, but what about getting promoted and working hard and moving up, until you're a loan underwriter? someone who's making the impactful decisions and enforcing the policies and putting the good of the company over the wellbeing of the customer base and the public?

How evil is it to be working for a company whose major customers are in the oil industry, with all we know about how environmentally catastrophic oil drilling is, not to mention the absolutely horrible ways Native water protectors are treated?

Obviously none of these things are on "killing babies with drones" level.

But.

There are so many things to care about. How do you decide what matters?

A lot of people say landlords are evil. Do they mean just corporations buying up homes as investment vehicles? What about a person who rents out a spare room? What about a small-scale landlord who owns a couple houses, is quick and responsive on repairs, doesn't nickel and dime their tenants, and is pleasant to work with?

We agree that it's impossible to become a billionaires without exploiting other humans.

But the whole goddamn stock market is built on the prioritization of profit over all. Even if I just contribute to my 401k, that's being invested in stock market funds. I'm indirectly profiting off companies using prison slave labor, or companies bottling and selling fresh water that should be a public resource.

We point out that the way white people talk and think about poorer neighborhoods is pretty racist. But is it racist for me to think maybe I'd like to live somewhere that doesn't smell so strongly of urine? that maybe I'm willing to spend more to live somewhere with fewer gunshots and less screaming?

Where do you draw the line? How do you construct a coherent system of personal ethics without going mad?

I mean, I grew up in a cult where morality was rigidly black and white. I grew up on "give all you have to the poor and follow Jesus" and "tithe a minimum of 10% of your gross income to god/the church/the poor/holy causes" and st francis of assisi and "cast your bread upon the water."

for a long time I believed that if I had enough to survive on it was my duty to give away the rest

and I spent years barely surviving because of that, because I prioritized supporting others who mostly just took me for granted instead of saving for emergencies

because I was more comfortable working shitty minimum wage jobs than ever being so crass as to pursue money

Also like, I don't believe in god or jesus anymore so I'm pretty sure I don't have to follow a bunch of rules that maybe were just hammered into me by pastors who wanted me to fund their new church buildings?

I am so over the mother teresa bullshit that suffering is inherently virtuous

Fuck that.

I'm tired of precarity.

It feels goddamn good to know I can afford emergency car repairs and regular maintenance. To buy myself little treats and clothes that actually fit. To watch my savings go up each month.

I want to stack up a big fat wad of cash and never be broke again. I want to know I can take care of myself and the people I love. I want to build a life with time for leisure and relationships and parenting and all the things that matter.

I think I could probably make a lot more money if I could swallow my crippling sense of moral injustice and just chase the almighty profits.

But I'm terrified it will make me evil

[howhow326]

I wanna draw my CtL character concept that I made but college is beating my behind so have his character sheet

Name: Timothy Whistle

Concept: Night-time sound & silence

Virtue: Prudence

Vice: Sloth

Seeming: Darkling

Kith: Nightsinger

Court: Winter

Backstory: Timothy is 18 year old highschool student that plays the Flute but is unsure of his actual skill. His Parents and band mates think he's fine, but he is thinking of quiting before college so he can major in science. A few months before graduation, maybe the night before a concert, Timothy decides to practice his Flute outside during the night. Worst mistake of his life. He dosen't know what rule he broke. Maybe he was playing too loud, or maybe he shouldn't have been playing on the night of the full moon. But one way or another, Timothy was taken by a Kindly One that fiercely punishes rule-breakers. For the crime of whatever, Timothy was to live in a land of Nightmares and play the music of the night. He dosen't know how long he was sitting on a tree branch playing wind howls and screams on his flute, or who heard him. But he does know that he plaued so long that his actual flute broke. He knew that not playing more night-time sounds would be another rule broken, another punishment, another place to be spirited away too that would scare him witless. But he could not, would not, do that again... So Timothy screamed at the top of his longs, creating the same horrifying sounds that his keeper obeyed him to. Timothy could have been stuck there forever, but a single flicker of light made him wake up: a vision of him playing a song of hope and joy made him remeber who he used to be. As strangely as he arrived, Timothy snuck his way out of that land of Nightmares and into the Hedge. But as his hope grew, so did his despair. Timothy's body had long ago merged with the shadows of the night, turning him from Tan to VantaBlack. Even worst, Timothy's mouth had disappeared, as if all the singing and screeching had allowed the darkness to convert it to nothingness. Timothy wanted to scream... and he did. Just as the darkness had followed him, so too did the music of the night. Timothy was forever silent, and silence was loud enough to be his new voice. Eventually, Timothy finnaly made his way back home, but home had changed. As if he couldn't be punished enough, a copy had taken his place during his months long durance. His only imperfection was that he was too perfect: a perfect student, a perfect friend, and a perfect musician. Timothy's parents believed that he had overcome his self-doubt and realized his inner talent, while the real Timothy stared at them through a window. The copy was so perfect that not even Timothy could bring himself to hate him, because Timothy could feel everything he felt and learned that he was pure. Before he could fall into a pit and never return, the Winter Court found him. Now a member, Timothy must somehow reclaim his old life without hurting his innocent fetch, despite the Court wanting him dead.

                                  Attributes

Intelligence●●●●○ Strength●○○○○

Wits●●●○○ Dexterity●●●○○

Resolve●○○○○ Stamina●●○○○

Presence●○○○○

Manipulation●●○○○

Composure●●●●○

Size: 5

Health: 7

Speed: 9

Willpower: 5

Max Clarity: 7

Glamour: 10

Wyrd: 1

Initiative: 7

Defense: 3

                                    Skills

Academics●●○○○

Computer ●○○○○

Crafts ●○○○○

Investigation ●○○○○

Occult ●●○○○

Science ●●●●○

Stealth ●●●●○

Animal kin ●○○○○

Empathy ●●○○○

Expression ●○○○○

Subterfuge ●●●○○

                                  Merits

Mantle (Winter)

Harvest●(Emotions)●(Dreaming)

Hedge Gate Sense●

Hollow●

Perfect Stillness●

Siren Song●●●

Soul Sense●●

                                  Flaws

Coward

Nightmares

                              Contracts

Contract of Elements(Air)●●●

Contracts of Darkness●●●

Contracts of Eternal Winter●

[ahomeganeyatsu]

So, it's been some time since I last wrote something for Eleceed so here I am again on my bs after catching up on the chapters.

After Amyeong and Royst appearance, the thought of an ABO au with omega Kayden has once again forced itself at the forefront of my thoughts. I've talked about some of my hcs in these posts under the tag #eleceed abo 'verse.

I'm gonna put a everything else under the cut as a spoiler warning in case you're not familiar with those names!

Aaanyways, so it's been stated that a lot of people wanted to be Kayden's disciple ever since his name made waves. Jisuk mentions how having a electric characteristic even became a fad among the awakened ones in order to imitate Kayden. So far, we only have Amyeong and Royst that actually sought out Kayden and asked to be his disciple. And both of them got rejected.

But like I said, this is an ABO 'verse.

So, imagine if they're not only attracted to Kayden's strength but they're actually pretty much half in love with him. Amyeong and Royst had both wanted to be his disciple, but had also dreamt of bonding with Kayden. And Kayden both broke their hearts.

They didn't really care what his designation was. And it was only by accident that they even found out he was an omega.

He had been at least gentle (in Kayden's own way) in his rejection of Amyeong. He had been thankful that he got to stay by Kayden's side for some time. Even if his status as his disciple was one-sided.

It hadn't been the same with Royst. Not when Kayden had told him to get lost. And Royst had carried that rejection ever since.

Amyeong

Amyeong's first meeting with Jiwoo hadn't been pleasant. He was jealous. No matter what front he put up, it leaked through his defenses. What did Jiwoo possess that he didn't? What made him different that Kayden had broken his own self-imposed rule of not taking a disciple? He had expected someone intimidating. Someone that could rival Kayden's own presence. Maybe he even expected an omega as strong-headed as Kayden. But no, it's an Alpha. A baby Alpha, in fact. Barely out of maturity you could still scent the traces of pup on him. He was so kind and sweet it made Amyeong's teeth hurt. He can't fucking believe this.

Except Jiwoo was completely covered in Kayden's scent. A pack scent. A claiming Amyeong had never had the pleasure of knowing. Until now. It made Amyeong angrier. He loathed this child for having something, taking something he'd always wanted: Kayden.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to kill him. Not when he begins to understand why Kayden chose this kid. He has to admit defeat there.

He also reminds him of someone else. Someone he owes a debt towards.

It takes him some time to realize why that is. A familiar scent, so faint, you could barely detect it even when you try looking for it.

He can't begin to understand how that feels, for a parental bond to be so faded. It must have been painful for both of them.

He wonders if that had been a factor to why Kayden had pack bonded the kid.

Royst

Royst, on the other hand, had been dying to meet Jiwoo.

The moment his master told him about Kayden taking in a disciple. Royst had to restrain himself from running there that very instant.

Then, that Grayne kid came crawling back to their base with his tail between his legs, bleeding and smelling of frustration and anger.

Royst was intrigued. So, goes to the World Academy.

He feels his nose twitch when he catches a whiff of Kayden's dangerous, intoxicating scent. It's been years since he'd last been this close to the man. He's still beautiful. His gaze sharp enough to cut steel, Royst has to rein in his instincts not to pounce.

Especially when he catches another scent clinging onto the man. He keeps the snarl at bay. An Alpha. Two of them, in fact. One mature, while the other was still growing into its own skin.

He tries to keep his composure as he follows Kayden.

And then the scents grow stronger as they get close to their destination.

One of the scents belong to Jiwoo. Understandable, as proximity could do that. But it does not explain the undercurrent of pack. It's a claiming no one has been able to put on Kayden.

It's even more astounding that the bond is mutual. Kayden and his disciple where pack. This baby Alpha was Kayden's pup. Royst feels something in him stir.

He wants to ruin this boy. He wants to spill his blood and watch Kayden as he guts this—his—puppy in front of him.

The jealousy burns. The envy nearly all-consuming. This pup had gotten what Royst had been coveting for years.

The other unfamiliar Alpha was here too. But there was no one around Royst can pin it too. He shouldn't have taken his eyes away from Kayden. No other Alpha should be that close to him. No other Alpha should lay claim to him.

When Amyeong had appeared, he had thought this mutt had been the one drenching Kayden in his repugnant pheromones. But no, he was familiar with Amyeong. Even concealed, he could tell this claim was not his.

In the end, Royst doesn't learn who it is. He just knows that it's also clinging to Jiwoo and that malnourished cat that was hanging around them.

Royst had made it his goal to find out who the Alpha was and show them who exactly Kayden belongs to.

[keen-umbreon]

About Me? (Rules in Keep Reading)

My family on both sides raise Eeveelutions, my father's side tends to train Vaporeon. My step-mother has a Glaceon. My mother's side tends to have Flareon. My mother and my step-father have a small everstoned eevee and an everstoned Galarian zigzagoon respectively. My uncle has a large Jolteon. I'm 25. I'm a man. I have a tendency to rant about things. Usually about Team Plasma. I was raised and live in Striaton. Consider this doxxing myself, porygons lol :). At least as far as doxing can go when my face was in the newspapers.

My partners are:

Enigma the Espeon. He is rather calm and is very alert to noises. He likes bitter food and hates spicy food. His Ability is Magic Bounce. For technical stuff, his EVs are 252 Special Attack, 252 Speed, and 4 Special Defense. His IVs, according to Nurse Joy, are 30 HP, 1 Attack, 20 Defense, 31 Special Attack, 30 Special Defense, 31 Speed. He knows Sunny Day, Morning Sun, Psychic, and Confusion. Sometimes we switch Confusion out for Signal Beam or Shadow Ball. According to Nurse Joy, in the past he knew Power Gem and could relearn it through effort. For battles, he has a Heat Rock that he wears as a cute little clasp for a scarf that I paid a specialist to infuse with Heat Rock and weather-resistant fibers. I rescued him from a pack of Purrloin, and he rescued me from a group of Sawk and Throh. He started following me around. Funny story, he stole a Pokeball from a Mart and shoved it in my hand. I had to pay the Mart three times the normal amount just to get them to not call the police on me.

Figy the Flareon. She is very adamant and stubborn. She likes spicy food and hates dry food. She refuses to stay still for a photograph, so here she is in all her blurry glory. Her IVs are 29 HP, 28 Attack, 31 Defense, 27 Special Attack , 29 Special Defense, 29 Speed.  Her EVs are 252 Attack, 4 Special Defense, 252 Speed. She knows Fire Fang, Iron Tail, Double Edge, and Facade. She also likes Bite, Dig, and Headbutt. She refuses to battle unless I let her use the Toxic Orb or Choice Band she was rescued with. They’re both like safety blankets to her. Managed to make the toxic orb into a little bell thingy for a purple collar for her, the choice band just slips over the collar and when she battles she just gives me whichever one she doesn’t want to use at the moment. She loves battling and drags me to harass Cilan Chili and Cress every few days. She really wants to go on the League Challenge, but I’m not up for that. Edit: Feb 12 2023, She’s going to stay with my little sibling before and during their journey across Unova and for their League Challenge.

Edit: Feb 14, 2023 I’m adding Lum to this now.

Lum the Leafeon I don’t know fully what he’s like yet. After some deep healing treatments, he doesn't have any more chemical burns! Yay! He tears up all my recovery and self-help books and pamphlets. He found an old Plasma shirt of mine and he's taken to sleeping with it. That's very worrying. I think he might have been Alum's before the lab accident. I tried catching him with a Pokeball and he broke it in half with a tail Leaf Blade. His ability is Leaf Guard. His IVs are 30 HP, 29 Attack, 29 Defense, 29 Special Attack, 29 Special Defense, 29 Speed. His EVs are 136 Hp, 120 Attack, 252 Speed. He knows Swords Dance, Giga Drain, Leaf Blade, and Yawn. He made me buy him a small satchel that goes around his neck, he keeps my dried berries in it. When I give him a plate of food, he also bags the leftovers. I think he might have had food insecurity in the past? Or he just really likes eating? He shows interest in cooking. Maybe I can use that to get him to open up.

Some things about me:

I had some bad experiences with trainers before. I used to think that people could only use Pokemon as tools and weapons. I treated my old Pokémon like how I thought I was supposed to treat Pokemon. I never hurt them physically, but I wasn't a friend to them as I grew older. I’m no longer in contact with the Pokémon from before, both from personal choice so they can heal and from legal obligation.

I never completed my League Challenge. Got past Gym Leader Elesa, so I had 4 badges. Had being a keyword, I forfeited them.

I used to be a member of Team Plasma. N had Ideals and Charisma, Ghetsis had Viciousness and Manipulation. I thought that Pokemon had to be separated from humans because we were horrible, because I thought I was horrible. Yes, I was punished for it. They were and are a cult.

You may hear me talk about Alum from time to time. He was a member of Team Plasma with me, we were partners and very close. He never used any Pokemon, at all, only his fists and the rest of him. He was a large tank of a man, built like an oak tree and as stubborn as one too. For 7 years, from 2010 to 2017, we were inseparable. I would have seriously hurt someone if Alum asked. He didn't make me though. Sure, I do know what it feels like to punch a backyard breeder in the jaw, and I do have a record of anger issues. But for the most part, I just patched up any injuries for our cell and any Pokemon that were hurt. I guess I was the team healer, in a way - but he was the heart and brains of our Cell, even if he weren't the official leader. When we were all arrested, I eventually went back to uh 'civilian' life but he - Alum got worse. A lot worse. His occasional punches thrown at horrible trainers became all out brawls and stealing Pokemon from trainers. He officially joined Team Neo Plasma around March 2018. AFTER the Big Freeze in 2012. He might have been allied with them a lot longer, our cell was officially not-Neo but sometimes we got close to it. I genuinely miss him. But I don't miss the sort of person I was starting to become with him, and I don't miss the person he became. If I mention Alum, usually I tag it with #keen alum so, feel free to block that tag. Sometimes I get... annoyingly sappy about him.

The psychic ladies and my stepmother who’ve all tested me with their methods of aura seeing (aura crystals, aura ribbons, one of them made me make something by heart and I made her soup and apparently that worked lol) and apparently my aura is a dark cyan.

Just so y'all can look up what potential crimes I've committed, here's my time line of when I did things. Exact dates are a bit fuzzy, but the dates are based on what I wrote in my personal journals.

I started my League Challenge in Unova in September 28th, 2008, I was 11 years old. I failed my League Challenge October 7th, 2010.

I joined Team Plasma October 7th, 2010, I was 13. I was arrested and basically forced to leave Team Plasma September 28th 2017, I was 20. I don't think I actually ideologically started to leave Plasma until Enigma made me catch him. Part of me might still be in line with them.

The Opelucid City freeze was Team Neo Plasma, I didn't have anything to do with it, but it was June 23rd, 2012.

I served my time in community service from from December 12th 2017 to June 22nd 2019, 2 years of it.

Enigma joined me December 26th, 2017.

Figy joined me July 18, 2021. Figy left my team February 12th, 2023.

Lum joined me February 14th, 2023.

(Rules Below, Keep Reading, OOC Below)

My Follow Blog: Keen-Kidus, KeenKidus

Hello. I am K*. I am shit at tagging. If you want to avoid the not-slice-of-life shit then block the #team phase tag.

K* is not Keen-Umbreon, Keen-Umbreon the character will occassionally say the weirdest shit ic and K* doesn't always agree with him. Keen-Umbreon is a character, not a real person. K* is 25+ years old, as of writing this I'm 25 and too lazy to go back and change this every year. I, me, myself, K*, I am a gay trans man.

Rules:

Blog is general, usually, but may get into PG-13 or higher, occasional alcohol or swearing or minor violence mentions. I will not interact with people who IRL are not adults.

Let me know if I end up rping Keen-Umbreon as too unhinged. Sometimes the muse grabs me by the hair and won't let go, but I can tone it down if asked.

Look in the tags for my OOC shit.

Non-Pokemon-universe OCs don't interact please.

Sentient Pokemon accepted, as long as they use some form of translator/assistance/training/etc. Blog canon is that Pokemon can communicate with Humans. Some of them are more animal like in intelligence but all of them think inherently different than Humans.

I don't triggertag except for food and meat. At least for now. Cuz I suck at remembering. And also because Keen-Umbreon would in-character triggertag meat.

At me in shit, babies. <3

Keen-Umbreon is an ex-member of Team Plasma. He occasionally goes on rants that will support Plasma or call all of his former co-members of Plasma idiots/fools/misguided/worse words. He occasionally mentions things that IRL PETA and the ALF have done, and he occasionally will drink the flavor-aid. Sometimes he is angsty. I promise you all that he will get better. But he's a victim of cult shit and has to deal with that himself. He's based on my own experiences with cult shit (he's like 8ish years behind my own progress) and also reality. I use a few IRL anti-cult resources and my own anti-cult recovery and therapy books as references and guides for writing him.

Due to Dr Hasan's idiotic ideas on trans people ("sissy hypno porn is proof trans people are a cult" to summarize) as well as it being repeatedly criticized by other more credible cult resewrchers, I will no longer be using the BITE method.

[aveline-amelia]

First of all, I don't insist on making this about BBC Sherlock. But this is already the third time you made this claim so I felt obligated to respond. It's my general rule, so I don't really feel bad about it (nor should I).

I know you did not tag bbc Sherlock on purpose here, but you did the other two times. Nor is me talking about BBC Sherlock making it only about that. Or saying you do. I was a Reylo back when all I heard about was that Reylo is shit, abusive and will never be canon (oh wait...?) That Rey sucks and doesn't deserve to be a Skywalker. I know my stuff. That's why I only talked about Sherlock.

I was part of the OUAT fandom where the main ship was a wlw ship also accused of being queerbait (SwanQueen), so my experience growing up was different. It was all f/f and m/f ships there.

I know what misogyny is. I don't need people to explain it to me, not even fellow women.

I live it. I am surrounded by misogyny and manpain and I am tired of all of the men in my life making all of my pain, my mental health, my physical possibly chronic pain about how they have it bad. How they're victims. How they cry at night and threaten suicide, and yet I am the bad one? I am the manipulator? So do I and it's because of them! So cry me a river, I no longer care. You broke me. And now that you are broken too, you want me to help you put you back together? Not a chance.

Maybe Mycroft was right. Maybe caring really is not an advantage after all. It brought me nothing but hurt. Only fandom makes me feel good. But that's just a stupid show, isn't it?

Sorry for trauma dumping onto you, you don't deserve this. I am not blaming you for anything. I just... this is really hard for me. It is very triggering. I think you know by now I am not in the best mental space. I hope most of my followers or mutuals know this. I am a paradoxical creature who stays alive out of spite. I care about being right more than I care about my own comfort or safety, but I still care about others, so I apologise if I have said something hurtful.

As in for criticism of writing of men and women, its because they are female characters written by men. Moffat has a history of actual misogyny.

Irene is awesome. But just like Dr Who's Clara and River, they are only sexually fluid/implied queer or actually queer because Steven Moffat thinks girls getting it on is hot. There is no feminism behind it.

But the thing is, this is what Johnlockers (some, not all)... just do. They make everything about Johnlock.

Famous example? Saying "I will always be there for you" is a romantic statement when Sherlock says it to John, Mary and their child when Mycroft says it too.

Again, I am sorry if I came off defensive. But I am just exhausted and in pain. This has nothing to do with you. :)

The way some fandoms clearly hate women is really appealing. It shows in the way they either villainize female characters or significantly reduce their importance in the male characters's life. Some go even as far as claiming they're not real characters but only living metaphors of said male characters's sexuality. I'm all for tolerance towards headcanon's but the stuff I've read lately.... Big yikes.

[gardenattwilight]

One of my stories just reached 10k hits on Ao3! Hers some NSFW notes app Drabble in celebration! Thank you for reading!!!

~~~

“This is breaking quite a few school rules…” Hermione’s looked at her friends, uneasy. “It’s only our first night back.”

“It’s our last year,” Ginny waved her brows, “We have to say yes to everything!”

“Why would that be it?” hermione crossed her arms, unsure.

“Because we’ll never get to have this year again,” she sighed. “We’ll graduate, I’ll marry Harry and you’ll work things out with my idiot brother and then life will be boring. This is the only time the two of us will get to experience things just us,” she gave Hermione puppy dog eyes.

“What about me?” Neville asked.

“You’ll be there too,” Ginny patted him in the shoulder then gave Hermione a look, “For some of it.”

The three of them were meeting up with Luna, Hannah Abbott, and a bunch of the other 7th and 8th year students. They made their way to the Room of Requirement. As soon as the doors appeared they could hear the beat of the music.

“We can do this Hermione,” Ginny told her. “It’s going to be fun.”

Hermione looked at Neville who met her gaze before getting distracted by the approaching girls. He smiled goofily at Hannah.

“Hello, Hermione,” Luna smiled, “I hope there’s firewhiskey. I’ve developed quite the taste over the summer.”

“Hello, Luna,” she smiled, “I’m sure there will be.”

The group entered and were welcomed by nearly every single 7th and 8th year. Even the Slytherins were here.

Hermione took note of a grinning Blaise Zabini in the corner. He was with Pansy, Theo, and Draco Malfoy. They were sharing a bottle of something that looked expensive.

She followed Ginny to get a drink and tried her best to push through the anxiety that clouded her mind.

Their group broke apart and Hermione scanned the room for someone she could talk to. This was a nightmare. Maybe she should just go stand next to Ginny while she talks quidditch.

Hermione settled on chatting with Dean Thomas who was currently chatting away about his summer. He spoke mostly about Seamus, who was currently in Ireland working with their local Ministry on defense projects.

Ginny came over to chat with Dean about the quidditch season, so Hermione wandered over to Luna. Luna was talking animatedly to Hannah while Neville looked around uncomfortably.

“Alright, Neville?” Hermione asked politely.

“Just wondering how all the Slytherins got an invite,” Neville glanced over to the group.

Hermione shrugged, “I’m sure someone was just trying to be inclusive. We’re gonna be with them all year.”

It was Neville’s turn to shrug. “They shouldn’t have been invited back.”

“I’m sure they’re all trying to turn over a new leaf,” Hermione said.

“A Ministry assigned leaf maybe,” Neville murmured.

“I’m sure the Ministry thought it better to reintegrate them into society now, we’re all still children,” Hermione said.

“Actually, most of us are 18,” Neville said. Hermione playfully rolled her eyes.

“Barely not children,” she said with a small smile.

Neville turned his body away from the group they were talking about. “Hopefully they stay far away.”

After that, Hermione went to go get herself another drink. She needed the alcohol to dull her senses to the rest of the party.

“Hermione,” Ginny grabbed her elbow when she was back at the drink table.

“What?”

“I’m going to force you to do something.”

Hermione looked at Ginny like she had three heads, “Not likely.”

“They’re playing Blindfold Bastille,” Ginny told her, “You’re joining.”

“What is that?”

“Do you know nothing?” Ginny chuckled, “All the players wear magic blindfolds and get sorted into private areas with another player.”

“Like seven minutes in heaven?”

“What?”

“Never mind,” she shook her head, “I think I know what you’re talking about.”

“So you’ll play?” Ginny grinned.

“And no one will know who I wind up with?”

“Not unless you tell,” Ginny smirked, “You can do whatever you want.”

Ginny’s smile was far too big for Hermione to feel comforted. The redhead grabbed her hand and she allowed herself to be dragged.

“When this is securely on,” Ginny handed her a blindfold, “You’ll be shown the room to apparate into.”

“Okay,” Hermione nodded taking a final look at her friend.

“Remember: have fun,” she smirked. Hermione took a deep breath. “Fun, Hermione.”

“Fun,” she nodded.

She exhaled as she put the blindfold on. She saw an image of an abandon classroom on the third floor. She’d been there once before. She repeated the word fun to herself over and over and apparated to the room.

Right after she landed she heard another crack in the room. She took a breath before removing her blindfold. When she did, she was staring at the bright silver eyes of Draco Malfoy.

She could have laughed. So much for fun. Of course she’d be paired with the one wizard who’d rather die than kiss her.

“Granger,” he nodded his head toward her.

“Malfoy,” she responded.

“Are you having a nice night?” He asked.

“I guess,” she pursed her lips.

“Hopefully this surprise didn’t damper it too much,” he said quietly.

“No,” she shook her head, “I just didn’t expect to see you.”

“I can’t say I’m any less surprised,” he gave her a small smile.

“Do you know how the magic works in the blindfolds?” She asked. He raised an eyebrow and took a timid step towards her.

“Is that really what you’re curious about?” He chuckled.

“I mean, of course,” she shrugged. He took another step toward her. “Of all the people.”

“Growing up, I was told that it matches you to your equal,” Draco told her.

“So it doesn’t take in preference?”

“Preference?”

“I mean, I doubt you wanted to find yourself in here with a Muggleborn,” she gestured to herself. “Or are we still using the word mudblood?”

“We’re not,” Draco gave her a pointed look. “I don’t care about your blood status, Granger.”

“That’s new,” Hermione quipped. Draco rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you think I would’ve left by now?”

“No, you always liked to spar,” she raised an eyebrow, “So who’d you get paired with growing up?” She couldn’t stop herself.

“I’ve never played before,” he shook his head, a small smile at his lips.

“Why play tonight?” She asked.

“Blaise convinced me,” he told her. “What about you?”

“I’ve also never played, so Ginny convinced me,” she nodded.

“How’d she do that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“We’re saying yes to more things this year,” she told him. “She told me no one would know and that this would be fun.”

“And are you having fun?” He took another step.

She teetered her head and gave him a playful look, “It certainly hasn’t been dull.”

“No, it hasn’t,” he agreed.

“How did Blaise convince you?” She asked politely.

“Also by telling me to try new things this year,” he said, “He specifically told me to try to not get hexed.”

“Had I know that I would’ve at least tried to stun you,” she smirked.

“I would’ve let you,” he said.

“Let me?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Ginny told me whatever happens is between us, but does that include a duel?”

“Anything you want, Granger,” he chuckled and they looked at each other for a moment. “I feel like now an an appropriate time to formerly apologize to you. I’m sorry for what happened at the Manor. And, I was wrong to call you vile names and I regret that I’ve ever said anything negative about your appearance,” he held his hands open, “You’re fit. I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”

“I’m fit?”

Draco flushed. “I mean, well-“

“I think you’re fit too,” she told him, thankful for the liquid courage she’d been consuming.

“Yeah?” He gave her a suggestive look. “Granger?”

“Hmm?” Her eyes bore into his.

“Do you want to have some fun?” He asked lowly. She nodded slowly and he closed the space between them.

When he was mere centimeters from her, he paused. Maybe she was too drunk; only agreeing because of the firewhiskey.

Similarly, Hermione could smell the alcohol on his hot breath on her face. She looked up at him, he returned her stare. Was this a mistake? It’s Draco Malfoy…

“Is this going to be a mistake?” She whispered.

“What happened to your Gryffindor courage?” He breathed.

“I must’ve left it in the Room of Requirement,” she breathed. He could taste it. Maybe snogging Draco would be nice… maybe more than nice. A dirty little secret. What would she tell Ginny?

Draco had to actively work against his instinct to bury his face in her neck in order to pull back slightly. “This is whatever you want it to be, Granger.”

“Just between us?” She checked.

“Of course,” the corner of his mouth turned up, “S’not like anyone would believe us anyways.”

“Do you believe it?” Her eyes flashed.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he raised a brow. Hermione replied with a small smirk.

“Then I’ll show you,” she whispered, moving her head in slightly, her eyes trained on his lips.

Draco was frozen in his spot. His eyes fluttered shut as Hermione’s lips found his.

He quickly unfroze as she moved her lips against his.

He responded by wrapping his arms around her, one of his hands quickly going to the back of her hair. Her curls were soft and not the nest he once thought them to be.

One of Hermione’s small hands was gripping the front of his robes, her other was in his hair, pulling his face to hers. His hair was silky and if she gave it a tug, Draco would release a soft moan. She loved hearing him.

Draco pulled Hermione by the waist, sitting her on one of the tables so he wouldn’t have to bend over her. Hermione giggled as he lifted her effortlessly. Draco kissed a line across her jaw.

Hermione took a ragged breath. Her eyes opened to look at the ceiling for a moment as Draco ravaged her neck.

Draco worked his way back to her mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed again as Draco cupped her face. “Should we stop?” He asked.

“Do you want to stop?” She opened her eyes and gave him a questioning look.

“No,” he breathed. Their lips met again. Hermione pushed her chest into his.

She slipped her hands down his neck, slipping off his robes. His hands went to her waist, his thumbs skimming over her exposed midriff. Heat began to pool in her core.

Standing between her legs, Draco experimentally pushed his hips into hers. She immediately wrapped her legs around the back of his thighs. Draco groaned. As their hips rocked together, Hermione moaned at the feeling of his erection pressed against her core. Heat intensifying through the layers of fabric that separated them.

One of Draco’s hands slid over her chest and she arched into his touch. She wasn’t even sure she was controlling her body’s reactions.

Just as his fingers began to slide up her jumper, a loud alarm made them both jump apart.

“I think that means our time is done,” Hermione panted. She sat up and smoothed out her clothes.

“We are definitely not done, Granger,” Malfoy growled.

“Everyone will be returning,” she told him.

“Meet me back here. In an hour,” he moved to stand back in front of her.

“What about tomorrow?” She offered instead.

“Fine,” he nodded once, “We’ll meet at 8. Don’t make any more plans for the evening.”

Hermione flushed at his demand. “Alright,” she said.

Draco moved his head to kiss her again and she reciprocated it. He cupped her face with one hand. She placed hers on top of it and they pulled apart.

“Have fun?” He asked softly.

She smiled and nodded at him, “Definitely wasn’t dull.”

[dailytatsu]

Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!

Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7

Thanks for the request! ✨

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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).

Gn! Reader

I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters ＿|￣|○

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

Second part ->

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VENTI

To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.

Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.

But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.

The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?

His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.

Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!

He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.

Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.

Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.

Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.

He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.

The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.

But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-

As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.

Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.

“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.

“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.

“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.

This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.

Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.

The song is cursed.

One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.

It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.

The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.

A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.

The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.

As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.

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ZHONGLI

Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.

Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.

Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.

How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?

Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.

He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.

The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.

You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe

“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”

“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”

“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”

Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.

Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.

Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-

For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.

Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.

Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.

Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).

He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.

You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.

Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.

He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.

With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.

Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.

Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!

But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.

Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,

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XIAO

Tried to kill you.

I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??

Sorry, but he had a point.

Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.

Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.

Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.

And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.

Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.

Nice(n’t) to meet u.

What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?

Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.

No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.

He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.

(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)

You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.

He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.

It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.

“That song… ”

“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.

It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.

Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.

He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?

You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.

That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.

I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.

If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.

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SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI

Also tried to kill you.

Well, the puppet tried to.

And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.

But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.

Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.

She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.

When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.

In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.

Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.

She knew that you would found a way to be back.

It’s better like this.

And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.

There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.

Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,

Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.

As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.

Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.

When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.

Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.

You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.

Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.

You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.

Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-

“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”

“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”

Well yes, but actually no.

“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”

“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.

“I’ll allow it.” She said.

Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.

[deanstead]

Somebody’s Watching

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request by danipearl16: Request- Jay has a girlfriend that nobody knows about and then they get a case where she’s being stalked and her stalker is killings women that seem to remind him of her and it turns out to be her ex-boyfriend from high school and Jay starts going downhill a little bit because he’s worried about her. Also his girlfriend is more on the younger than his side by 7 years

Word Count: 4,365

Warnings: cursing, mention of sexual assault/misconduct (non-graphic), mention of non-con touching, stalking, minor OC death, mention of injury, angst, fluff

A/N: Please beware of the triggers before you continue reading! I changed some parts to fit into the storyline but I still hope you like what I did with it! I’m pretty excited about this fic so I really really hope yall will like it! It’s my first time writing such a detailed case in so I hope it turned out well? Please hit me up and let me know what you think! Love yall!

---

You looked up from where you were sprawled on the couch, fiddling with your phone. Jay was sitting at the table, a small frown across his face as he pored over case notes.

Jay usually didn’t bring his work home with him but they’d just closed a big case and he had spent a whole week in the district. So instead of spending more time there to finish the paperwork, Jay had opted to bring it home instead.

You smiled to yourself just as Jay looked up. “Sorry babe.” He said, making a little face at the papers strewn across the table.

Chuckling, you climbed off the couch and moved towards him. You stood behind him, looping your arms around his shoulders, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I missed you.” You whispered.

Jay turned slightly, tugging you so that you now landed in his lap.

“Missed you too.” He whispered, smiling as one of his arms snaked around your waist, holding you securely to him, another hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “Sorry I’ve been busy.”

You shook your head, smiling.

You’d been dating for a while but no one else knew. Both of you had agreed to keep it on the down low, partly because of your age difference. Even though you had agreed you’d keep it quiet at least for the first few months, it had been a lot more than that and it had been going so well that you didn’t really want to purposefully invite anyone into this world that Jay and you had created for yourselves. Rather than keeping it a secret, you guys just hadn’t made the effort to tell anyone or publicize it to the world. This also meant that when he was stuck at the district, you didn’t get to see him but on such days, Jay was always mindful about checking in.

“What’s on your mind?” Jay asked.

“Just thinking I’m lucky to have you.” You responded, leaning in to try to give him a hug. Instead, Jay stroked your cheek and pressed his lips to yours. “Now, I really need to finish this.”

You laughed. “Go forth.”

---

Jay had taken a few well-deserved days of furlough, which he had mostly spent curled up with you. You didn’t have any complaints, it had been just what you both needed.

But Intelligence couldn’t catch a break. It was Jay’s first day back and now, he was already walking up to a crime scene.

Jay pushed the yellow crime scene tape upwards, letting Hailey walk through ahead of him before following behind her.

“What do we have?” Jay asked, approaching the spot where Adam and Kim were standing.

Kim turned. “Kate Whitewood, 22, stabbed multiple times.”

“She’s not in the system. No priors, nothing.” Adam added.

“No belongings on her?” Voight asked, looking around.

Adam shook his head. Jay frowned. “There’s barely any blood here.”

Kevin nodded, jogging forward to join them. “This is probably just the dump site. She must have been killed elsewhere.”

Hailey stood from where she had bent to examine the body. “She has defensive wounds on her. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find skin under her fingernails.”

Jay bent forward slightly. “What are those? Marks around her neck? We need to get her to the ME to get the exact cause of death.”

“Kim, bag her hands and get forensics to run a deluxe.” Voight said, as Kim nodded.

“My CI works this street, let me see what I can find out.” Jay said, turning away.

---

“So Kate was last seen at this bar right in town.” Hailey said, walking in and sticking a screenshot onto the board, which showed a camera view of the street outside the bar.

Kate could be seen on the image, her head turned slightly as she waved to someone, a man standing by her side. Hailey tapped the image.

“We can’t find this guy. His face is always turned away from the camera, facial recognition is out.”

Voight nodded. “Jay, have you heard from your CI?”

Jay nodded, resting slightly against Hailey’s desk, his arms crossed in front of him. “My guy says there haven’t been any deals going down. I think we can rule out drugs or gangs. Streets have been quiet ever since that big bust we did last month.”

“It was 28 degrees out last night, ME couldn’t find the exact time of death. But there were signs she was raped, signs of asphyxiation and five penetration wounds from a knife.” Kevin said, opening the file he had gotten from the medical examiner earlier.

Voight turned to Kim. “Who was she?”

Kim sighed. “Kate was a hard worker, she had just started her job as a receptionist at a dentist’s office in South Loop. Dad’s MIA, Mum’s remarried and relocated to New York so she’s living on her own.”

“Have we found who she was with last night?”

Adam nodded. “I’ve gone through her phone. Looks like she was meeting her friend Grace at the club last night.”

“We need to talk to her. I want to know about the last day of Kate’s life. Timeline. Check all sex offenders in the area. Comb her social media. Let’s go.” Voight instructed.

---

Jay knocked on the main door, glancing sideways at Hailey. The door swung open.

“Grace Archer? I’m Detective Upton, this is Detective Halstead, can we come in?” Hailey asked.

She furrowed her brows. “What’s this about?”

“You’re friends with Kate Whitewood?” Hailey asked, without directly answering her question. She nodded and without missing a beat, Hailey continued, “We need to ask you a few questions about last night.”

Grace stepped back to let them in, her face falling as she led them to the sitting room.

“I heard from her parents. The whole thing’s horrible.” Grace whispered, wrapping her hands around herself.

“Can you tell us what you remember?” Jay asked.

Grace looked up. “Kate’s boyfriend had broken up with her a few months ago, so I took her out. She needed to get out again.”

“Were you approached by anyone?” Hailey asked.

“Several.” She answered.

“Anyone that stood out?”

Grace paused, trying to recall. “Kate didn’t even really want to go. She barely looked at the guys… except…”

Hailey sat up a little. “There must have been something about this guy that she left with, something unique. We have a photo of him on the surveillance tape. Flashy?”

Grace nodded, “Yeah, he had this like... attitude… like he was hitting on us but he was making a joke of it at the same time.” She paused. “The last thing she told me was that she had a great time… I shouldn’t have forced her to come out.”

“This isn’t your fault.” Hailey leaned over and patted Grace comfortingly on the arm. “Thanks for talking to us. Please call us if you think of anything else.”

As Jay walked out of Grace’s house with Hailey, he looked at his partner. “This guy’s confident, he’s smooth and it doesn’t look like he knew Kate or Grace.”

---

For the rest of the day, the team had almost combed through the whole of Kate’s whereabouts before she had disappeared and all they had was a big fat nothing.

Jay typed a quick text to you to let you know that he wasn’t going to be able to come over tonight.

You read the text, smiling a little. Jay was busy but it was cute that he always kept you informed. You stopped walking, typing back a reply to tell him it was okay and to do what he had to do, before you kept her phone back into your pocket.

You walked along the street, the same street you walked on every night, frowning a little. You turned around, scanning the street behind you.

You could swear that it was like someone was watching you, or following you. But the street was empty. This wasn’t the first time you had had this feeling - like the little hairs on the back of your neck were standing but you had nothing to back up this feeling you had.

Holding your bag tighter against you, you pushed yourself forward, quickening your footsteps, only letting up as you passed the safety of your apartment building’s front door.

As you passed the threshold of your apartment and closed the door behind you, you pulled out your phone, staring at it for a while. Part of you wanted to call Jay, to hear his voice and have him tell you that you were just tired, imagining things. But the rational part of your brain convinced yourself that everything was okay, reminding you that Jay was so busy and deep in a case, he really shouldn’t have to worry about you.

Ultimately, you put your phone on the counter, chuckling at yourself. Maybe you really were too tired.

---

By the next morning, another body had turned up, not two streets away from the first dump site.

Jay felt an uneasy feeling spread in the pit of his stomach as he stared at the photo of the new victim that was already up on the board. They had a serial killer in Chicago and this guy’s victim type had physical characteristics that were scarily similar to you.

“Jay.” Hailey broke Jay out of his thoughts. “Emma Green, 23, strangulation marks, six stab wounds.”

Jay turned to his partner and nodded. “Did they go to the same club?”

Hailey handed Jay a file. “No, but look at what we picked up on the surveillance camera.” Jay opened the file, studying the photo.

“This is our guy isn’t it?” He pointed at a male figure who was standing next to their second victim, his face still hidden from the camera, wearing a plain cap.

“Hey guys, I might have found a link.” Kim said, walking in. “I checked the employee records and there’s a bartender that works in both clubs and he was on shift on each day our victims went missing. He’s got a prior for aggravated assault and harassment.”

“We’ll take it.” Jay said, grabbing his jacket and heading out of the district.

Hailey fell into step next to him, glancing at him. “Jay, you okay?”

Jay nodded. “Let’s just get this son of a bitch.”

They travelled the rest of the way in silence. Hailey seemed to pick up that this case was affecting Jay differently but she didn’t press further, allowing Jay to lead the way into the closed club.

“Ben Carlton?”

The bartender looked up from where he was, his eyes falling onto the police badge that was hung around Jay’s neck.

In a sudden motion, he ducked out and ran.

“Hey, stop!” Jay yelled, as both he and Hailey launched themselves after him, Hailey shooting out the front door to try to head him off.

“5021 George, I have a suspect fleeing on foot.” Jay called into his radio, sprinting after the bartender.

The bartender barely made it onto the next street before Hailey flung herself at him around the corner, rolling onto the ground as Jay pulled out his gun. “Don’t move!” He yelled, as Hailey pulled the bartender to his feet.

“Let’s go.” Jay snarled.

---

“It wasn’t me!” Ben yelled as he sat in the interrogation room, facing Jay and Hailey.

Jay sighed internally, watching Ben’s reactions and the way he was answering the questions Hailey was shooting at him.

“Those were mistakes, I didn’t do this!” He yelled again.

Jay pushed himself upright, getting up from where he was leaning against the wall and pushing the photos of the victims onto the table. “This. Look at this. We can place these girls at the bars you worked at just before they died.”

“Look.” Ben said, looking up at Jay. “I saw them but they left before I even finished my shift.”

Jay glanced at Hailey. “Who did they leave with?” Hailey asked.

Ben looked from Hailey to Jay. “Look, I don’t know the guy, he’s not a regular. But he’s white, about their age. I noticed him because he headed for them the moment that he walked in. Like he knew they were there.”

Before Jay or Hailey moved, a knock came from the door.

“You guys gotta see this.” Adam said, sticking his head in.

“Sit tight.” Jay said to Ben, following Adam outside, where Kevin was waiting as well.

Kevin handed the file to Jay. “We got another one.” Jay flipped open the file, which told him what he already feared. Another victim, of a physical type that not only matched the first two victims but also you.

Jay looked up. “His cooling off period is getting shorter. We need to get this son of a bitch.”

---

The feeling was getting a little stronger that someone had been watching you.

You glanced over your shoulder but as usual the street was empty. Maybe you needed to stop staying late.

You turned back towards the front. There were sounds of footsteps but you swallowed the lump in your throat, quickening your pace as discreetly as you could.

It definitely felt like someone was following you now. You were almost running by the time you rounded the corner, colliding with someone.

You gave a yelp of surprise.

“Y/N!”

You had collided with Jay.

You let out a breath, spinning around to look over your shoulder.

“What’s going on? You okay?” Jay’s eyes snapped from you to the empty street behind you.

You turned back to look at Jay. Now that he was standing in front of you, it didn’t seem that scary anymore - maybe you had imagined the whole thing.

You shook your head, taking one last glance behind you. “What are you doing here? You finished the case?”

Jay smiled but the smile didn’t really reach his eyes. “Just wanted to check in on you. I have to go back soon.”

You reached for his hand without saying anything and that’s how the both of you walked back to your apartment, your hand clenched securely in his, almost like the both of you had a tight bubble around you.

You could tell Jay’s mind was far away, and it was even more unlike him to come see you in the middle of a case. You knew there was something troubling him but you weren’t one to press. Jay would tell you when he felt he could or he wanted to.

Instead, you just squeezed his hand.

Almost as if you were prying him from his thoughts, Jay looked at you and smiled. He pulled you closer to him, tucking you under his arm.

“You’re okay, right?” You asked, without looking up at him, just as he escorted you to your door.

Jay turned to look at you and nodded. “I will be, once this case is over.” He leaned forward to give you a kiss. “If anything happens, you call me, okay? No matter what.”

You raised an eyebrow but nodded at him, watching him disappear into the elevator before you retreated back into your apartment.

---

Intelligence had been tirelessly chasing down leads but they now had four bodies and Voight was getting pressure to solve this quickly as well. They needed a break in this case and fast.

“Okay, let’s regroup, what do we have so far?” Voight barked.

“All four victims were raped and found with multiple stab wounds. We know he picks up his victims from bars and appears non-threatening enough that his victims are willing to leave with him.” Jay said, getting up.

Hailey headed to the board, frowning. “We dumped their phones but we weren’t able to find any connection between the victims other than their physical type.” Hailey cast a look at Jay, which Voight didn’t miss. “I think he’s working his way up to something.”

“Hey guys?” Kim spoke up as she walked back in, flipping open the file sitting on her desk. “I went back over the first murder to see if we missed anything. Look at this.”

Kim pulled in her chair, zooming into the photo. “This badge here on his jacket, it’s barely visible so we missed it the first few times. I sent it to the lab to see if they could enhance the image and this is what I got.”

Kim clicked and up popped the crest of a high school. “Look, it’s not just a general badge. Look at the year.”

“Okay, that is the crest for Lincoln High. It’s a jacket given to those who graduated that year.” Kevin said, frowning at it.

“I’ll run the list of students who graduated in that year.” Jay barked, heading straight for his desk, his fingers flying across his keyboard.

Cross-checking was the worst job ever but the moment Jay’s eyes landed on your name on the list of graduates, he pulled it together, eliminating the women, men who had moved out of state or country, until finally he only had three names on the list.

“Okay, I have a Steven Miller, Charles Shoemaker and John Marlin.” Jay finally spoke up as everyone looked up. “But only Steven Miller has priors.”

“For harassment, sexual misconduct, and attempted assault. Sarge, this has to be our guy.” Jay looked up at Voight.

“Do we have an LKA?” Voight asked.

“Already on it.” Adam said.

“Go pick him up.” Adam nodded, motioning to Kevin as they headed out.

Something was bugging Jay. Steven Miller. That name was…

Fuck.

Jay pushed back his chair, entering Voight’s office without knocking and closing the door behind him.

“Sarge.”

Voight looked up, frowning a little at the look on Jay’s face. He put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, looking up at Jay.

“I’ve heard Miller’s name before. It was bugging me, but I remember now.”

Voight sat up straighter.

“I’m seeing his ex-girlfriend.” The words slipped past Jay’s lips. “Sarge, everything makes sense now. The physical type, the way he’s building up because his actual target…” Jay trailed off.

You had told Jay about Steven just once. You hadn’t gone into detail but you had told Jay about the short period that you had been together with Steven – his need for control over all aspects of your life, how he had always been a little rough, how he hadn’t taken any form of rejection well, and how you’d ended it the day he struck you.

“Take Hailey.”

Jay was already halfway to the door.

---

You had left early today.

It had been a while since you had done such an early shift but you’d been feeling more and more uneasy while walking home at night and the news coverage on the murders that were happening at the moment didn’t help.

You didn’t need Jay to tell you that you looked exactly like those girls who had been murdered. It was clear as day.

You fiddled with the key in the lock, opening the door.

You felt your heart drop into your stomach as you registered the person standing in front of you. In your house.

“Steven.” You muttered, your voice trembling, barely registering the butt of a gun heading towards your temple before it went dark.

---

Hailey hadn’t said anything but she knew something was off.

“Jay, what’s going on?” She asked. “How do you know this girl’s the target?”

Jay didn’t answer but pressed harder on the accelerator, gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. The ringing tone going off through his bluetooth speaker in the car making him feel even worse.

“Jay.” Hailey said again. “I’m your partner.”

Jay glanced at her now. “She’s my girlfriend.”

Hailey’s eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

Jay let a beat of silence passed. “Miller’s her ex. I should have seen the signs, the physical type, everything, I…”

“Jay. She’ll be fine. Come on.” Hailey reassured him, as he turned his truck onto the familiar street.

“She’s still not answering.” Jay said, through gritted teeth. He’d been trying to call you since he had left the station.

Without hesitation, Jay bounded up the stairs, Hailey right behind him. From down the corridor, Jay could already tell your door was slightly ajar.

“Hang back.” Jay whispered, pulling out his service weapon.

Jay quietly approached the door. “Y/N?” He opened the door with his foot, freezing as his eyes landed on you, sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, your eyes frantic as Steven held a knife to your throat from where he stood behind you.

Jay gritted his teeth, using his foot to slam the door shut, knowing that Hailey would know what to do.

“Step away from her.” Jay growled, pointing his gun directly at Steven.

Steven smiled. “I was wondering when you’d arrive. Put that down.”

Jay grinded his teeth but didn’t move. You felt the cold blade of the knife press against your skin and inhaled sharply.

“Put. It. Down.” Steven repeated.

“Okay, okay.” Jay said, glancing at you before putting his hands above his head, disarming his gun and putting it down onto the floor.

Steven smiled again, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Jay growled.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what to do.” Steven answered.

“Jay, I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Jay looked straight at you. “It’s going to be okay. You focus on me, you hear me? I’m right here.”

“We broke up a long time ago, what the hell are you doing?” You asked. You were afraid, hell you were trembling, but this was crazy and you had to help Jay to find a way out of this.

“We wouldn’t be broken up if he hadn’t come between us.” Steven snarled, moving closer towards you, his lips almost touching your ear.

Jay growled. “Leave her alone.”

Steven looked back up at Jay again.

“What, you mean don’t do this?” Steven asked, crushing his lips against yours.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Jay yelled. “Is that what you did? How you forced yourself on all the other girls? What do you want, Steven? What are you trying to accomplish?”

“All I wanted was to be with Y/N! But you took her.” He spat.

“So you decided to go on a rampage?” Jay asked. You saw him twitch like he was looking for something so you started talking, as much as it made you want to gag.

“Steven, why didn’t you just talk to me?” You asked, trying to distract him.

“Talk? All you care about is him!” He yelled, lifting the knife and pointing it at Jay.

It happened in a split second.

The moment he lifted the knife, Jay yelled, “Now, Y/N!”

You threw yourself forward, covering your head with your hands as you heard the gunshots go off, just two. You weren’t sure who was shooting but you didn’t move until you heard Jay’s voice again.

“Y/N, it’s okay, it’s over.” Jay whispered.

You looked up, Jay’s face hovering above you.

“Jay…”

Jay nodded, “It’s okay, come here.”

Jay pulled his arms around you.

“He…” Jay shook his head, shielding your view of Steven’s now motionless body. “Don’t look back, come on.”

Jay tried to lead you out of the apartment, barely making it to the main door before his teammates appeared. “Jay!” Kevin called, as he spotted both of you.

Jay nodded. “Thanks.” Kevin nodded, his eyes lingering on the way Jay was holding you close to his side before making way for Jay to lead you back down to the ground floor where the ambulances were waiting.

Jay led you all the way to the waiting paramedics, not even leaving your side to get himself checked.

You weren’t hurt, not really. There was a little open cut from where Steven had pressed the blade a little too hard when he had been agitated but other than that you were fine. Well, that, and that disgusting feeling that came with remembering how Steven had pressed his lips against yours.

Voight approached you and Jay. Jay squeezed your hand. “I’ll be right back.” You smiled and nodded.

Jay and Voight talked in low voices until Voight turned to look at you. “And she’s okay?”

Jay nodded. “Yeah, she is. I just need to…”

“Do what you need to do. We’ll finish up here.” Voight said, nodding and clapping Jay on the back.

---

The paramedics had dressed the wound on the scene before Jay had brought you back to his apartment.

After getting you into a clean change of clothes and some warm food in you, you had ended up back in your favourite place in the world – on Jay’s couch, in Jay’s apartment, encircled in Jay’s arms.

You lay your head on Jay’s chest.

“So this was all because of me?” You asked in a low voice.

Jay sat up, looking at you. “What?”

“He killed all those women… because of me. I got them killed.” You whispered.

“No, no, baby.” Jay propped himself up, but didn’t let you go. “This is not your fault. Steven he… he did this, not you.”

You looked up at him. “He even… in front of you… he…” You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, you felt disgusting. He’d kissed you, he’d done it in front of Jay and he’d ruined everything.

You hadn’t said that much but Jay just tilted your chin upwards and kissed you. “Jay…”

“I’ll take it all away.” Jay whispered. “I’m sorry, I should have been there sooner.”

You shook your head, swiping away the tears that had slid down your cheeks.

Jay cupped your cheek again, pulling you into his chest. You balled your hand around his shirt, gripping at Jay.

“It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Jay whispered.

“I’ll never let anyone touch you ever again.” He half snarled, still caressing you gently.

You leaned into his embrace, closing your eyes as the sound of Jay’s heartbeat gently lulled you back into the feeling of safety and security.

[tyrannuspitch]

ooh okay, interesting.

i would agree that thor can be quite presumptive about loki, and doesn't communicate well at all. i think he gathers his information on loki by observing rather than asking, and that's partly distrust and confusion, but also partly arrogance and defensiveness.

i do feel like i have to point out, though, that in the avengers, loki tells thor he wants a throne, before thor mentions it. "i who was and should be king" + "i mean to rule them, as why should i not?" i feel like it's also implied that thor knows (perhaps via heimdall) some of what loki said and did at SHIELD (and maybe also in stuttgart), where he also announces his intent to take over earth.

and even when loki says he doesn't want a throne in thor 1, that's only moments after saying that he's doing everything he's doing so that he can be "true heir to the throne".

loki gives off INCREDIBLY mixed messages about his motives and feelings, and i think trying to sort through it all without the kind of insight we have as audience members would genuinely be very difficult. thor probably could try harder, but then again, there is often a life-or-death threat getting in the way of these conversations.

another thing in the same scene which speaks to this is that one line of loki's - "i remember you tossing me into an abyss". this is easy to interpret as loki denying or misremembering his suicide attempt, but i honestly don't think that's what it is. i think loki is talking about the fact that thor broke the bridge to begin with.

i think, somewhere in the most space-racist and paranoid part of loki's mind, it seems like thor had no genuine reason to save jotunheim and was just trying to protect his own status, even at the cost of loki's final desperate attempt to gain their father's acceptance. so loki is saying: you wanted to play at being a king and hero, and you chose that over my will to live. you wanted to win more than you wanted me to have any love at all.

but based on what loki actually says, that's not an easy line of reasoning to follow at all. that's the problem - very often, loki says how he feels, but it's too painful for him to even really begin to explain it, and that plus thor's own neuroses mean thor drastically misunderstands.

so when loki says "i remember a shadow", i think there's a chance that thor might listen to that. but THEN he says the abyss thing, and thor is completely thrown because he knows he did not push loki, because he watched loki let go and loki watched him begging him not to... so thor starts wondering whether loki's lying or outright delusional, and everything else loki says is cast into doubt too.

as for the scene with the warriors three... on one hand, i feel like thor has reason to distrust and be uncertain of loki, but, yeah, not enough to be certain that loki will try something. i don't have much to say on that topic atm, except that i think that thor's exile, plus loki trying to kill him, plus finding out that their parents raised them both on a lie, have left thor Very Paranoid.

on the other hand, i do think we should take into account that that scene is thor persuading his friends to go along with a plan he's already made, and thor wants to seem like a reliable leader who's already accounted for everything. so, regardless of what he actually thinks, i think thor says that (and says it that way) to validate their fears, because he knows that if he seems too trusting of or sympathetic to loki, they might either not follow him, or take it upon themselves to somehow keep loki "in check" behind his back (which they do anyway :/), and either of those could be seriously disruptive to the plan as a whole.

we should also remember that loki did try to kill sif and the warriors three, not just thor. and, yes, they betrayed him first, but their betrayal was disrespectful and irresponsible, while loki's was directly violent. i don't particularly like them as characters either, but they do have some claimed to having been wronged, and i think this is relevant to how thor interacts with them - he feels guilty that he is relying on, and asking them to rely on, someone who abused his power over them.

(but also, how the warriors four have (mis)treated loki in the past, before that catastrophic mutual betrayal, is definitely another of thor's blind spots :/)

oh and finally, i DEFINITELY agree that thor using loki for his magic is a big part of what's going on in TDW. thor might try to think of it as protection, maybe even as them fighting side by side again, but objectively he holds all the power and it's never clear what would have happened if loki had said no. the way i see it, thor being protective, controlling, and exploitative all go hand in hand. loki is a cherished possession to him, but a possession nevertheless.

people talk a lot about loki feeling unloved by thor, but honestly... i think, in the avengers and onwards, loki is more confident that thor loves him than the other way around.

because the thing about loki is that his feelings for his family are about so much more than just love. maybe thor doesn't love him, maybe loki is fundamentally unloveable, but even if that's not true, loki is equally afraid of the opposite: maybe this is what love IS and he threw it away. maybe he can never hope to be anything more than a shadow and a servant, maybe love for him is inseparable from humiliation and powerlessness and loss of identity, maybe this is all he's good for and all he'll ever have and he should be grateful for it. (he can't be grateful. he'd rather gnaw off one of his own limbs. but part of him still wants that love, no matter the cost.)

but thor... thor doesn't understand any of that. and he doesn't understand / is in denial of a great of odin's abuse (including of him), which also means being in denial about a great deal of what he's done wrong when mirroring/obeying odin.

so loki feels trapped and humiliated, but thor feels betrayed and despised and he doesn't know why. he doesn't know why loki is running from him. he can barely recognise loki's reaction to him as fear at all, let alone work out what he's afraid of.

thor sees that loki is in pain, but he can only guess what that pain consists of. he knows that loki wanting to be loved is part of it, but he offers loki love over and over and loki rejects it. he doesn't have the tools to work out what's wrong with his love, so he can only conclude that there is something wrong with loki, or that there is something wrong with him. either loki is completely, inscrutably, illogically "mad" (in a way that, given how asgard seems to understand mental illness [ie not at all], still carries some level of moral condemnation, some sense of brokenness, even as it hurts thor to think of loki that way)... or. loki just does not love thor back.

perhaps even both.

and i think that's why thor never tries to visit loki in the dungeons. even if we assume that he could have (which i'm not convinced by), what reason does he have to go? he misses loki, but he doesn't think that loki misses him. he knows that loki still needs help, but it seems clear that loki will never accept his help.

from thor's perspective, going to the dungeons would only result in loki getting angry and trying to hurt him again. thor has no reason to put himself through rejection and betrayal yet again when loki is already home, "safe" in the dungeons, and, as far as thor is concerned, every attempt at reconciliation has already been made and failed.

and honestly, from thor's point of view it must seem just as likely that encouraging loki to keep getting angry at him would only make loki's "madness" worse. better to leave him alone, and hope that one day the anger might cool. better to let loki ask for thor when he's actually ready. it's his turn to apologise.

(i don't think anyone ever told thor that loki was asking for him. subtly, and without apology, but still - in little ways all the time. what of thor? does odin share your concern; does thor? loki was never answered, and thor never knew. always reaching for each other while the other isn't looking. or while their parents cover the other's eyes.)

(and of course, all this comes from thor not understanding the horror of loki's sentence itself - but ultimately that's the same problem as not understanding odin's abuse in general. thor has accepted his own cage, so why can't loki learn to live with his?)

[reidscanehand]

“I can’t believe you would say that about me” hurt/comfort

It's certainly not the first time an agent in the BAU has gone slightly rogue. In fact, it really just shouldn't be a surprise at this point and yet, every time it happens (again, rather frequently), Strauss and the other higher-ups at the FBI seem astonished. If not obvious because of its frequency, it should be obvious because studying behavior requires a level of empathy that makes it hard to put head before heart. And you're hardly sorry that there wasn't a large amount of logic present when you broke protocol to save that little girl.

You twiddle your thumbs, shifting uncomfortably in your slightly nicer attire. When Hotch called to inform you that Strauss demanded a post-case protocol break debrief, he told you to "wear something slightly nicer than work clothes", but you'd chosen something vastly more uncomfortable than you'd previously believed. Or maybe you were just nervous. You'd arrived ready to speak to Strauss but were informed by a very annoyed looking Hotch that he would be speaking to her first and you were to wait outside on the bench next to the conference room door. A bench you'd sworn would provide you more eavesdropping ability than it has. You can't hear a damn thing, except that you think Hotch is speaking more than Strauss.

Is it a good sign? Is it a bad sign? You're not sure. Hotch hadn't been thrilled that you'd broken protocol. In fact, his reaction had been...odd. Really, he'd been acting odd around you a lot recently.

Shit, maybe you are being fired. You begin to think of something to say, an attempt at a defense. Or maybe, maybe you should just take it on the chin. Your brain is so full of jumping back and forth between mentally tweaking your resume for other job options and some attempt at defending your actions that, by the time Hotch opens the door and steps into the hall, you're almost an emotional wreck.

You stand to greet him, swallowing back tears when you finally look into his eyes. He just looks determined, if not slightly pissed off.

"We're all done here, you don't have to say anything," he says by way of greeting.

"Wha-what?" you ask, almost ashamed at how feeble you sound. He turns on his heel and gestures for you to follow him. It takes you a moment to realize that the two of you are walking back to the bullpen.

"You're cleared; don't worry about it anymore," Hotch answers, not looking back at you. He stops at the end of the hallway and turns back to look at where you've stopped behind him.

"So, I'm...I'm not fired?" you ask quietly. Just like that, Hotch's demeanor changes entirely. He crosses back to you, putting his hands on your upper arms.

"Of course not," he whispers. "You're too good of an agent and a person for us to let you go."

"But...but the protocols-"

"I told Strauss that you're far too valuable an asset to the team to get belittled into a corner over something so trivial as this," he interrupts, wiping a tear from your cheek with a gentle finger. "And that I would not have one of my best agents' records raked over the coals for deciding that saving another life was more important than a rule."

He stares down at you, cupping your cheeks to gain better access to the tears now pouring down your face. It's almost like he's unaware of the intimacy of the action.

"I can't believe you would say that about me," you rasp against your tears.

Hotch cocks his head to one side, "Of course I would, Y/N, why would you think otherwise?"

"Well...it's just...you didn't seem too happy that I broke protocol either and I made you have to deal with Strauss and-"

He places a finger to your lips to calm you down. He then pulls back, hands still cupping your jaw, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Y/N," he starts off slowly, "I'm sorry if...I didn't mean...oh, for God's sake."

"What's wrong?" you ask.

"Nothing at all," he chuckles to himself, "I just find it incredibly hard to think straight around you."

"What do you mean?" you stare up at him. Hotch wipes under your eyes again, staring down at you with more adoration than you've ever imagined - and you've imagined it many times.

"I mean," Hotch whispers, thumbs caressing your jaw, "that I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot more than I should, really, and while I wasn't thrilled that you broke protocol...I was so damn proud of you and so terrified for you at the same time. It scared me to see someone I care about so much put their lives on the line, but I-"

You cut him off this time, pressing your lips to his. Thankfully, he kisses you back, moaning against you as your hands grasp at his chest. You only pull away when you absolutely have to breathe, sighing contentedly as Hotch presses another kiss to your temple, pulling you close. The two of you stand together, holding each other in the (thankfully empty) hallway for a long time. The fluorescent lights are shining overhead, but it feels as though you are basking in the glow of something far more spectacular.

"Well," you finally whisper, "this is certainly a break in protocol."

A laugh rumbles through Hotch's chest as he cups your jaw again, pulling you back in for another kiss.

~~~

Thank you for the request - I hope you like it! Feel free to send me sentence and dialogue prompts! xx

[redhoodieone]

His Girl

Plot: Dick Grayson has a type in women: athletic, feminine, and classy. However, the reader is completely different as she is plus-size, tomboyish, and spontaneous. But a conversation about Y/N between Dick and the batboys takes an unexpected turn one night.

Warnings: Language, Sensitive topics, and Fluff.

“What the hell’s up your ass?” Jason asks Dick, as he hands him a bottle of beer from the refrigerator in the Batcave. It was only until last week that Bruce gave in and allowed a refrigerator to be down there after the boys begged him for one.

As long as it was only for beverages, of course. Bruce had mentioned the boys have been eating too much junk food lately, but the boys knew deep down that his rule is simply for him, because of his age, and maybe for Y/N, too.

Y/N has only been with the Batfamily for a year since her family died at the hands of Two-Face. She had only started training with Bruce for two months now, and the two of them have been working out quite a bit.

Which makes sense of Bruce’s one rule for the refrigerator, though. But that hasn’t stopped Jason from sneaking in food anyways; mostly pizza and lunch meat and cheeses for sandwiches.

But now, Dick’s distant and silence is unbearable since the circus descent acrobat is usually excited and rambling about anything and everything.

“Uh, nothing! I mean...” Dick stutters. His behavior tonight was questionable to say the least. Usually, he would be on his game and even throw some wisecracks but he’s been awfully quiet, nervous even.

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say,” Jason scoffs.

Dick sits on top of the hood of the Batmobile while he peels the sticky label from the beer bottle. He notices Tim and Damian walking out from the showers and are already dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts. Bruce is seated at the Batcomputer, still in costume but minus the cowl. Jason sits at the small table and sips from his beer and snacks on a triple meat and cheese sandwich he must have made quickly.

And Alfred had long gone to bed after Bruce forced him to get some rest since they’ve returned home and are not dead.

Dick suddenly notices Y/N must still be in the showers, on the other side of the cave for privacy where the guys can’t bother the girls.

“Fine...I’ve been...having these thoughts and dreams about Y/N lately,” Dick confesses. He notices Jason staring at him with a confused expression.

“Yeah, and…?”

“Well…lately, I’ve been thinking about her as…more than a friend. I’ve been seeing her in a new light. And you know I’ve always thought she was cool, and funny, and incredibly smart,” Dick continues, with a small smile. “But…I’ve never been sexually attracted to women like her before.”

Jason purses his lips and appears to think it over. “So, I don’t see the problem.”

“I just told you I’ve never felt this way about Y/N or any woman like her before.”

“Because you’re shallow.”

“I’m not shallow,” Dick argues, suddenly feeling defensive at Jason’s attack. “I just…I’ve never seen heavy women as hot, you know?”

“You can try to justify all that, but the point is, you’re shallow.”

“Have you ever slept with a heavy girl before, Jason?!” Dick snaps.

Jason chuckles and grins. “Actually, I have.”

“Bullshit,” Dick scoffs.

“Yeah, I have Dickie-bird. It happened three years ago, when my Outlaws and I kicked Black Mask’s ass. We went to a bar to celebrate in downtown Gotham. Roy and Star left early to go fuck or something. I was left alone and I was about to call it a night until this smoking hot woman took a seat next to me. She had long dark hair, tan skin, and curves that made my mouth water and my cock hard enough to pound nails. She was gorgeous, but there were these assholes around her and were calling her fat and telling her to leave because no one here would take her home. And do you want to know what I did?” Jason asks.

“What?” Dick asks quietly.

“I took her home, after I broke all those guys’ jaws. She was fucking amazing, man. She had a magnificent ass that she actually allowed me to spank. Her curves were endless, and after I fucked her good three times, cuddling and falling asleep with her was probably the best part of the night. I’ve never felt so…comfortable and felt warm, because I actually felt someone beside me,” Jason admits.

Dick raises an eyebrow at him. “Wow, I didn’t think something like that could happen to you, Jason. If anything, I thought you were shallow.”

“I used to be, until I realized I was judging others, when I was actually trying to have others not judge me. Alfred actually helped me with that. I don’t remember every word he said exactly but he said I wasn’t trying all the ice cream flavors out there. Like, I was always sticking to a certain flavor of ice cream, and I wasn’t trying other kinds, meaning I should be looking at all types of women. And after my one night stand with that magnificent woman’s ass, I realized bigger girls aren’t deal breakers; they’re just more to love,” Jason admits, and shrugs with a smug smile.

“That’s…I don’t even know what to say. But Y/N’s different. She’s someone we know and it makes it harder. And my problem isn’t that I’m shallow, it’s how I’m supposed to handle my feelings about her.”

“Yeah, you are, Dick. Y/N’s literally the best woman we’ve ever met. Hell, the best woman I’VE ever met. She’s fucking funny, she’s so caring and kind, she’s smarter than Timbo when it comes to common sense,” Jason lists off his reasons.

“That’s true! I’m not going to lie about that!” Tim interrupts from the distance.

“Y/N’s real, she doesn’t bullshit about anything like other girls. She’s honest, and that’s a rare thing to find nowadays. And fuck…she can really handle her alcohol, she can down shots of Fireball like it’s water,” Jason adds.

“You don’t think I know all that? Of course, I do! That’s why I’m having such a hard time dealing with my feelings for her. I’ve only ever been with tall, athletic women, who wear skirts and dresses, eats healthy, and are…well, feminine,” Dick confesses. A guilty expression shows on his face. “And Y/N’s not any of that. She’s really short, kinda chubby, and she’s more of a tomboy type, who’s loud and rambunctious, and eats like a man.”

Jason snorts. “And that’s a problem why? That’s why Y/N’s fucking awesome, man! I actually really like how she’s not afraid to be herself. She’s not fake. Do you know how long it took for her to be comfortable with all of us and be who she is rather than how she thought we expected from her? And I don’t know about you but I love how she eats, whenever we go out to restaurants, I actually like how I can eat the way I want and not feel like a fat ass because I know her and I both love what we love and fuck all who have a problem with that!”

Bruce turns around in his chair and gives both boys a warning look. Even Tim and Damian silently take a seat and watch closely.

“Fuck…Y/N is the perfect woman. She’ll always be in my eyes,” Jason admits, looking down at his beer longingly before taking a sip.

“If you feel so strongly about her then why haven’t you tried to go out with her or sleep with her?” Dick asks angrily.

Jason’s pause takes everyone by surprise. “Because she can do better than me.”

“You-you actually tried to get with her?” Dick stammers.

“Oh, yeah I definitely did. I think about a year ago. I had spent the summer with her here while everyone was busy with the whole Justice League and Superman bullshit,” Jason explains. “You were with the Titans with Tim and Damian. It was just me and her.”

“Alfred was there as well,” Bruce mumbles.

“Anyways, call it cheesy as hell like those romcoms, but we actually got really close. She’s a spitfire for sure, but she really knows how to get under your skin,” Jason chuckles.

Tim and Damian nod their heads in agreement with that.

“And I obviously made the whole situation uncomfortable as fuck because when I told her how I felt, she rejected me. She said we were too alike, we’d butt heads all the time. And after that, I never brought it up again.”

Jason’s confession gives Dick a sense of confidence.

“Look, if you want to ask her out and do all that then I support you. Just know if you fucking hurt her or do anything wrong, I’ll slit your throat even if you’re family,” Jason threatens seriously.

“I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up with her,” Dick says.

“Well, don’t bring up how her weight and appearance bothers you,” Jason says seriously.

“It doesn’t!”

“Okay. How did you ask Barbara, Star, Zatanna, and-”

“I get it, Jason. I’ll just talk to her and tell her I have strong feelings for her,” Dick interrupts him. “I’ll just tell her the truth.”

“You already did.”

That voice belonged to none other than Y/N. All the guys in the Batcave jerked their heads to the top of the stairs where Y/N stood and looked down with tears running down her cheeks. She was wearing her plaid pajama pants and a loose black t-shirt she stole from one of them a long time ago, she doesn’t exactly know who though.

Dick and Jason slowly stand up. Dick carefully walks over to the stairs while Jason cautiously follows.

“Y/N…” Dick whispers, already feeling guilty and nervous that she had probably heard everything. “Please listen to me…”

“WHY?! So, you can tell me you didn’t mean any of that, when you actually did. I thought you were different! I didn’t know you could judge someone like that! Especially someone like me!” Y/N yells. “I thought you were my friend!”

“I am your friend! Y/N, please give me a chance to explain! I really like you, and-and I was just trying to ask for help so I can talk to you!” Dick pleads.

“Don’t lie to me! You were only asking for help because you didn’t know how to deal with me being fat and manly! I’m sorry I’m not like Barbara and Star! I’m sorry I’m not beautiful and thin! I’m sorry I’m not perfect for you!” Y/N cries out and runs up the stairs.

“Y/N! Wait! Please!” Dick shouts for her. He chases after her.

By the time Dick reaches Y/N’s bedroom door, it’s locked. He can hear her crying, automatically feeling like shit for being the reason why she’s hurt.

“Y/N, please…” Dick tries again.

“Leave me alone, Dick!”

Dick swallows hard and forces himself to move away from her door. There was no use for him to stand there; he’d already broke her trust and possibly ruined their friendship. He might have even ruined his chances with her.

Jason approaches Dick. “Is she crying?” he asks.

“Yes,” Dick chokes out. He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Fuck, Jason…I don’t know what to do. She won’t even talk to me.”

“You should go, Dick. I think you’ve done enough.”

Dick was a little taken aback by Jason’s command. He pushes himself to walk away anyways.

“Bruce wants to talk to you. You should go find him before he finds you,” Jason adds.

Dick exhales heavily and leaves. Jason shakes his head in disappointment at him. He takes a deep breath and knocks on Y/N’s bedroom door.

“Doll, it’s Jay. Please let me in,” Jason says softly. “I just want to talk to you.”

He didn’t think she would open the door for him. He didn’t think she would want to talk to him even though he hadn’t pissed her off or upset her in any way. But Y/N unlocked her door and even opened it for him.

Jason was deeply heartbroken to see Y/N; her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks were wet, and she had the devastating look on her beautiful face. He quickly walked into her room and shut the door, quickly locking it.

He had to be cautious though. He knew couldn’t say or do the things he wants to do with her right now. Instead, he slowly and carefully approaches her. She allows him to wrap his strong arms around her, bringing her closely to his body to hold and protect her from everyone and everything.

“Shh…it’s okay, sweetheart. I got you. I’m not going anywhere,” Jason whispers into her hair. He tries desperately to not inhale the addicting scent of her shampoo and lingering perfume so much. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Y/N lifts her face from Jason’s chest and gazes up at him. The sight of her glistening eyes makes him draw her closer to him.

“What did I do wrong, Jay? What did I do to deserve all that? Is everything about me really bad?” Y/N asks softly, on the verge of tears again.

“No. No, don’t say that. Don’t say any of that! Nothing is wrong with you. You’re beautiful, Y/N. You’re perfect just the way you are,” Jason admits.

Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. It breaks Jason’s heart more when she tries to pull away from his embrace, but he refuses to let her go. His grip tightens and he holds her as if she’d disappear and leave him all alone.

“That’s not true, Jay,”

“It is true. Hell Y/N, you’re the most badass woman I’ve ever met. You don’t take shit from any of us. You’ve managed to stay here even after all the bullshit everyone has put you through,” he explains. He even chuckles at a memory. “You’ve even made Bruce cry, remember? Remember you called him out on his bullshit when he refused to train you? You’re almost a savage like Alfred, you even make Wonder Woman and Catwoman look like dollar tree prizes, and that’s no lie.”

Y/N looks down at her feet. Jason knows she still doesn’t believe him.

“You’re always perfect in my eyes, Y/N. There isn’t a goddamn thing I would change about you,”

“If I’m so perfect, then why does Dick think so low of me?” Y/N asks. She sniffles adorably and looks back up at him.

“Because he’s a fucking idiot who can’t see the best thing that’s in front of him,” Jason answers, and looks into Y/N’s eyes before he looks at her lips. “But his loss is my gain.”

[rynne311]

Pizza and Beer

Summary: When friends move, you help out in exchange for pizza and beer. Those are the rules, even when you don't like beer and you like your friend way more than just a friend.

Word Count: 1353

The offer had been simple enough. Jason offered you pizza and beer if you helped him move. You weren't sure how much help you could actually be, but you weren't about to pass up the chance to spend the day with your friend. Deep down, though, you wished this was a moving in together kind of move instead, but for as well as Jason knew you, he was no mind reader, especially when it came to your feelings for him.

You were surprised when you got out of the moving truck he'd rented to find all of the big furniture had already been moved in. You assumed that meant he'd already moved his gear to avoid any wandering eyes as well. Together, you spent all morning moving all of the smaller boxes in tandem. The time flew by as you both joked around with each pass in the hallway and stairwell.

Before you knew it, every last box was upstairs and you were busying yourself unpacking them while Jason took care of grabbing the pizza he'd promised you. This may not be your home, but you tried to add your personal touch to the apartment.

"Helping reward's here," he announced as he set the pizza box and a couple of beers on the empty coffee table. You made a mental note to grab some large decorative books for him to put there. With a smile, you got up from your spot in front of the bookcase and joined him on the couch for a well deserved break.

The two of you had finished most of the pizza, and were quite satisfied you'd found the best pizza spot in the neighborhood, before Jason noticed he was the only one with an empty bottle. When he looked a little closer he realized you hadn't even touched the beer he'd grabbed for you.

"You good over there?" he asked. You almost thought he might still be joking around and about to make some crack about some pizza spilled on your shirt. When you looked down and confirmed nothing had fallen onto your shirt, you couldn't hide the confusion that painted your face and furrowed your brows together.

"Yeah," you confirmed cautiously. "Why?"

"I mean you've busted your ass all day and now you won't touch your beer," he explained. "You usually go drink for drink with me and now you're not so it seems like something's wrong."

"I'm fine, I promise. I just don't like beer," you explained. His puzzled look begged you to continue. "When we're at the bar I always get mixed drinks or wine. Now if you'd made a pitcher of margaritas, you never would have had a chance to even try them. But a blender really isn't the top of the list to unpack."

You may have answered his question, but you left him with so many more. He brought his own drink to his mouth in an attempt to hide his visible confusion. It almost worked, but you caught the way his brows furrowed from above the bottle.

"It's probably safer this way anyway," you remarked, trying to inject a bit of humor. "You know me and tequila are a dangerous combination. Just like the song, sometimes it just means clothes start falling off."

Jason hummed in absent agreement, but you could tell you'd already lost him. He'd jumped down the rabbit hole of questions, and he wasn't going to be really listening, or at least processing what was said, until he reemerged.

"So why'd you come today?" he asked. "When I asked you, I told you I'd get pizza and beer, so you knew I didn't have anything else to offer, but you still accepted."

It felt like a now or never kind of moment. One of the ones where you could be bold or you could be practical. You mulled over your options for what felt like an eternity, and while you wanted to be bold, you didn't want to lose what you had. Instead of answering, you grabbed another piece of pizza to buy a little time. The eye roll you got in return told you Jason knew exactly what you were doing.

"I thought I could be helpful," you finally answered as you finished your slice.

"That doesn't feel like the whole answer," Jason scoffed.

"Maybe," you confirmed. "But it also begs the question why you asked me to come help today if you already had everything moved in up here but some boxes in a half empty moving truck, or why I'm the only person you asked to come help you?"

Taking a page out of your book, Jason snagged your untouched beer to avoid having to answer.

"You want a full answer? I'll give you as full an answer as you'll get for right now," you began. Now it seemed you may have finally found the courage to be bold. "I wanted to spend time with you. You're always off wrangling supervillains and drug lords, which don't get me wrong is great and all. It has dropped the number of break-ins in my building to almost none. But that doesn't mean I don't miss you, because I do. I always do. A lot."

He started to choke on his drink, telling you you'd given a little more of an answer than you'd wanted to give. You couldn't say you were a fan of this emotional vulnerability, but your chest did feel ever so slightly lighter. You tried to read his face for a moment for some sort of reciprocation, but feeling the heat rise in your own face forced you to turn back to your empty plate. Your eyes only darted back over to him once you heard the bottle connect with the table.

"Maybe I wanted to spend time with you too. Maybe I didn't want all of the noise with my brothers and Roy around, especially when they manage to break something." With each 'maybe,' his voice grew a little more pointed and defensive, and you thought you could see a vulnerability that mirrored your own in his eyes. "Maybe I wanted this place to have your touch and feel like you. Maybe -"

You cut him off, leaning across the couch and kissing him. It was too rare in life that you got a second chance on a now or never moment, and you didn't want to squander it. You could only describe the feeling as a wave of excitement followed by a rush of relief when he raised his hand to your face and pulled you closer, returning the kiss.

"Maybe," his voice was softer now, almost cracking, "Maybe I've wanted that to happen for a very long time."

You felt breathless, but that didn't stop the smile from growing across your face. This time when you looked in his eyes, they seemed to share your mixture of excitement and relief. You couldn't help yourself as a small chuckle broke through.

"You like me, you really, really like me," you teased in a sing-song voice, only pausing to make kissy noises in the air. "You like -"

Having had his own feelings confirmed, Jason cut off your teasing as he pulled you into another kiss. When you both finally let go, he kept his forehead pressed to yours, watching as your eyes shifted back into focus. He wore a self-assured grin as he said, "There's no maybe about that."

"No, I don't think there is," you agreed. You sat back a little, trying to sear this moment into your memory forever. "Who would've thought a stupid beer could make this happen?"

"I should have brought you some beer to not drink ages ago," he joked, pulling you into his side and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You settled into your contentment in his arms, knowing now you may never have to leave this feeling again. "Next time I'll have tequila, it sounded like those consequences are fun."

You rolled your eyes in response as you wiggled a little closer into his side. Yeah, some post-margarita consequences now sounded a lot more appealing.

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