#may the best suitor win :p

[junnieverse]

my run was good but like... we went on a class trip today and i am now stuck in a love triangle ✌️ how tf i have so low rizz and now im stuck. Like fr. But!! Now ig i nave 2 choices?? But theyre both friends so idk 🤕🤕

-toomuchrizzki anon

ps. how was ur day today??

Oh man I hate love triangles, I've been in one before and it is not nice plus I'm indecisive and didn't want to hurt anybodies feelings so that made it alot harder. You must have ungodly rizz, please teach me your ways.

(My day was great! I didn't do much but it was still productive, I hope you had a good day)

[yallemagne]

Luthur (Lucy/Arthur) Propaganda

I'm writing this with all the pent-up rage of an entire year of seeing "Lucy's so dumb, she should have picked my favourite suitor" posts and "who should Lucy have chosen?" polls that always result in practically no votes for Arthur.

This is not an anti-Jack or anti-Quincey post by any means, though it may come across as defensive. It is just a pro-let-Lucy-choose-for-herself post. And yes, letting her choose for herself even includes letting her be monogamous when she has made the conscious decision to remain monogamous.

So, to the proposal descriptions--

Seward tries to hide his anxiety by putting up a front of sternness. From how Lucy describes it, it sounds like he's negotiating a contract:

He spoke to me, Mina, very straightforwardly. He told me how dear I was to him, though he had known me so little, and what his life would be with me to help and cheer him. He was going to tell me how unhappy he would be if I did not care for him, but when he saw me cry he said that he was a brute and would not add to my present trouble. Then he broke off and asked if I could love him in time; and when I shook my head his hands trembled, and then with some hesitation he asked me if I cared already for any one else. He put it very nicely, saying that he did not want to wring my confidence from me, but only to know, because if a woman's heart was free a man might have hope. And then, Mina, I felt a sort of duty to tell him that there was some one. I only told him that much, and then he stood up, and he looked very strong and very grave as he took both my hands in his and said he hoped I would be happy, and that if I ever wanted a friend I must count him one of my best.

Sounds like he hardly popped the question so much as stated: "I would be honoured to have you (I need you I need you I need you I need you) as my wife. If you don't love me back, I will die."

This proposal comes across as very neurodivergent to me. He goes into it thinking mostly about what he wants from Lucy and how good the marriage would be for his mental health, not stopping to consider if she's already seeing someone (literally the man who introduced them) or just maybe... that he's putting too much of a burden on her with this style of proposal. This approach would work better with another no-nonsense B, but Lucy is overwhelmed. He didn't think of her feelings in the matter because he was too busy schooling his own emotions so he wouldn't screw it all up. It comes across as very scripted until he sees that he's upset Lucy-- that is when we get a glimpse of his care for her. But then he's back to his bullet points of "but could you love me one day? do you love another now? on a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this interaction?"

Lucy gets through Seward's entire proposal without getting carried away and writing about Arthur instead, but with Quincey--

I suppose that we women are such cowards that we think a man will save us from fears, and we marry him. I know now what I would do if I were a man and wanted to make a girl love me. No, I don't, for there was Mr. Morris telling us his stories, and Arthur never told any, and yet—— My dear, I am somewhat previous.

She certainly finds Quincey charming, but she cuts herself off to talk about Arthur. While she momentarily thinks that telling adventurous tales would win a woman's heart, she says that it didn't win her own. There's a sort of peacocking going on with Quincey prefacing his proposal with tales of his adventures. It's very much like Seward's stoic attempt but with far more confidence and pizzazz.

Mr. Quincey P. Morris found me alone. It seems that a man always does find a girl alone. No, he doesn't, for Arthur tried twice to make a chance, and I helping him all I could; I am not ashamed to say it now. 

Quincey "found [her] alone". Now, before, she said "Mr. Morris was telling us his stories"-- who is us? I am guessing that perhaps Lucy's mother or someone else was sitting in as a chaperone? And then Quincey found an opportunity to talk to her in private?

Again, she drifts off talking about Arthur while she's trying to explain Quincey. "Arthur tried twice to make a chance"-- my best guess for what this means is that Arthur has tried to have un-chaperoned time with Lucy twice before in order to propose to her, but he never succeeded despite her attempts to aid him.

Which makes this all so much funnier? Some joke that the Suitors probably arranged it all, but this hints that Arthur has been trying his damndest to propose, but the one day he actually gets a chance to, he finds out his two friends proposed to her first! Those dogs!!

I do not know myself if I shall ever speak slang; I do not know if Arthur likes it, as I have never heard him use any as yet.

Lucy interrupts her "haha the silly American talks silly American gibberish" with "would Arthur like it if I spoke this way?" Gah, she's so in love with him. It's funny that she says she's never heard him use slang considering she's already mentioned "Dress is a bore." which she even called slang.

Well, he did look so good-humoured and so jolly that it didn't seem half so hard to refuse him as it did poor Dr. Seward; so I said, as lightly as I could, that I did not know anything of hitching, and that I wasn't broken to harness at all yet. Then he said that he had spoken in a light manner, and he hoped that if he had made a mistake in doing so on so grave, so momentous, an occasion for him, I would forgive him. [...] And then, my dear, before I could say a word he began pouring out a perfect torrent of love-making, laying his very heart and soul at my feet. He looked so earnest over it that I shall never again think that a man must be playful always, and never earnest, because he is merry at times. I suppose he saw something in my face which checked him, for he suddenly stopped, and said with a sort of manly fervour that I could have loved him for if I had been free...

She remarks that Quincey's more light-hearted nature makes him easier to refuse than Seward. However, she finds it harder to reject him when he drops the act and starts behaving more earnestly. She finds it easier to imagine loving him when he's being sincere. She doesn't have this same thought with Seward because, unfortunately, even when he snapped out of his legal negotiation of the potential marriage, he still kept himself emotionally guarded through the rest of the interaction.

Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it.

I must say... Lucy here is not saying "I want a harem of men.". Stop. Just stop saying that she is. That interpretation has led to every single adaptation that brands her an insincere cheater who strings along men and deserves to be punished by the narrative. Just stop. What she is expressing here is guilt at not having an option that would please all parties involved. She's been raised as a people-pleaser, but in this scenario, there is no choice she could make that wouldn't lead to someone being hurt. So, she makes the decision to follow her heart rather than her guilty conscience.

And think, just earlier, Jack planted this seed of insecurity by saying that he'll be upset if she does not love him. And then goes even further to imply her loving another robs him of his hope. It makes it so that, even when Quincey is more gracious in accepting her refusal, she can't help but beat herself up for practically destroying these men's lives (hyperbole, of course) all for her own happiness!!

Lucy clearly displays polyamorous traits. She laments that, if she did not love Arthur so much, she could love Quincey (rip Seward). But she has chosen not to explore those feelings. Part of her cutting herself off while writing about Quincey to talk about Arthur could be subconsciously reminding herself: "nope, there is no chance with him, I want Arthur". She compares the two constantly as if to remind herself she made the right choice. There's also her love for Mina, but she has plausible deniability in this era and can claim that as just classic girl love.

But when she considers a woman marrying "as many men as want her" it is not reflective of her being polyamorous because she doesn't have this thought out of "I love these three men enough to marry them" but "I feel guilty about being loved by three men at once, and I have to repay the favour somehow, but I can't". She does not say "as many men as she wants" because it's not about the woman's feelings but about the feelings of the men that surround her. But you know what? She showed agency when she picked the man she wanted and didn't bow and pick the man who would be the most devastated upon being rejected, and I'm proud of her.

Lucy is incredibly brief when describing Arthur's proposal, but let's. just. think about this. Previously, she has tried to hold back her overwhelming love for Arthur in her writing to Mina (she failed, lol). Other than wanting to be discreet, she explains:

My dear, this quite upset me, and I feel I cannot write of happiness just at once, after telling you of it; and I don't wish to tell of the number three until it can be all happy.

She doesn't want to taint her happy feelings with bitterness about how "oh, I'm so horrible and selfish for picking the man I love! I don't deserve to be loved by anyone!" And even then, she goes into a bit more detail in her post-script:

P.S.—Oh, about number Three—I needn't tell you of number Three, need I? Besides, it was all so confused; it seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me. I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend.

Such a friend. Before this, Seward and Quincey were not friends of Lucy's. They were acquaintances that knew her through Arthur (though she does not explicitly state this about Quincey, so she could have met him somewhere else?), and upon being rejected romantically, they swore friendship to her. Before then, they saw her as a potential bride.

But Arthur was already a friend to Lucy. They have been close for longer than she's known either of her other suitors, and while they'd never said the L-word (love) to each other before, I think what wins Lucy's heart is that Arthur is genuine with her. We don't get to see it (she teases us!! how dare!!), but that feels like the most plausible thing that would set him apart from Seward and Quincey. Now, the other two are honest men (we see it when they comfort her), but they both initially put up a front to impress/entertain Lucy. Meanwhile, Arthur doesn't bother with that. He comes into the room, and she's practically already in his arms! It's so effortless with him. She doesn't have to imagine herself being happy and in love with him because she already is.

[lizzybeth1986]

Petals and Thornes

(If you'd like to be tagged in this series, let me know!)

Book: The Royal Romance (Primarily Books 2 and 3)

Pairings: Hana x Kiara.

Set during the events of Books 2 and 3 of TRR. This series will be partly canon-compliant to the books in terms of story beats, but with significant changes.

A/N: Preceding the actual series will be a few one-shot fics...all setting up Hanara's friendships and their characterization before the events of the series begin. I'm also planning a very short series on Esther's (MC) month at the Beaumont Estate, that touches on certain parts of this series as well.

Get to Know Hana*

Fics

Tea Drunk

A young Hana gets a special reward for good behaviour from her parents.

With A Little Help From My Friends: Music Room | Esther

Whiskey with Drake, dance battles with Maxwell, sweet treats with Esther. On the night Hana is to leave Cordonia, what special moment of friendship will she share with Prince Liam? Set during Liam's Coronation festivities in TRR1, after Hana's love confession to Esther and before Liam's love confession in the hedge maze.

A Piece of Land to Call My Own

At the end of Liam's engagement tour, Hana finds herself without a home, without a family, without any place she can truly call hers'. She tries to keep her worries to herself, but will her friend King Liam find out sooner than later?

Headcanons

Music Headcanons

Hana Lee: Duchess of Krysanthe

Character Playlist

Get to Know Kiara*

Fics

Wordlessly

There is a lot on little Kiara's mind as she goes biking with her cousin Céleste around Loire. Can Céleste help her?

A Child of Babel

The five times Kiara uttered the proverb of a language under her breath, and the two times she did it to someone's face.

It Takes a Village

A young Kiara Thorne has something important to say to her parents.

An Ear to the Ground

To the rest of Cordonia, Lady Kiara Thorne of Castelserraillan is just another suitor, destined at failure in winning the Crown Prince's hand. Luckily for Kiara, that isn't why she's here. Set during the social season in TRR1.

The Perfect Gift

Six different suitors, six different Coronation Day gifts. Kiara Thorne watches as each suitor gives Prince Liam their gift, and wonders at the bonds they all share with him.

Fashion Faux Pas

You'd think the daughter of one of the most fashionable duchies in the country would be given the absolute best of haute couture. But alas...

Too Little, (But Perhaps Not) Too Late

At King Liam and Duchess Esther's bachelorette party, Penelope has something to say to her best friend Kiara.

Headcanons

Family and House Background

Kiara the Polyglot

Character Playlist

One-shots/Short Fics In This Universe:

A Blossoming Friendship (TRR1)

Rivals and suitors for the Prince's social season, are never really expected to become friends. All that changes - for Lady Hana and Lady Kiara - with one conversation.

Out of the Chrysalis (TRR2): Emerging | Evolving

The "Hana attempts Casual Dating" Fic. WIP.

Petals and Thornes: Main Masterlist

As the Engagement Tour begins post Prince - we mean King - Liam's engagement, ladies of the court Hana Lee and Kiara Thorne embark on new journeys of their own.

Through the court's travels around Italy, Paris, Shanghai, New York - and later, all around Cordonia - the two women learn to let go...of the people who they thought were the Great Loves of their lives...and open themselves to the prospect of something new.

(coming soon!!)

Post P&T

These are fics that will take place after the events of the series...but that I've written before I started the series itself (or that I may write alongside the series)

Fics

Rose Gold

Six months after King Liam and Queen Esther's wedding, Hana and Kiara take their next big step as a couple.

Batalla del Vino

It's the Haro Wine Festival! Kiara and Hana spend a day in La Rioja, Spain, getting into a messy wine fight of epic proportions!

Laylat al-Henna

It's the night before Kiara and Hana's wedding! What fun things do Kiara's cousins from Fes have in store for their henna night?

Reader Fatigue

Over a year after she has settled in with her wife in Cordonia, why does Hana not feel the same joy when she reads??

Hindsight is 20/20

Hana and Kiara travel to England...after recieving a letter from Hana's former fiancè. Hana explores her journey as a bi woman in a walk down memory lane.

Headcanons

Hana and Kiara's Wedding

The Lee-Thorne Children

Click here to check out the Side Stories in P&T Masterlist!

--

*Some of the fics in the "Get to Know..." sections are written in the timeline of the Petals and Thornes series...as and when I add chapters closer to when those events occur, I will shift them to the series list itself.

** Petals and Thornes will reference another series of mine: Eleanor's Kitchen. That series takes place in the same universe and you will find recurring characters and relationships from this fic in P&T.

[idontblushsrry]

SFW Alphabet|| Megumi Fushiguro

A/N: Uhhhh I’m back on my bullshit >:) it’s missing Fushiguro hours folks.

Word Count: 2050

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

(If you want some more in depth affection headcanons click here)

Fushiguro is someone who isn’t big on pda but makes up for it in private. In public, he’ll hold your hand but in private he’s laying i your lap while you massage his scalp. Basically, he’s a big softie that just represses his urge to cuddle until he’s alone with you.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Best friend Megumi is literally the president of the Y/N defense squad. If anyone has a problem with you, they have a problem with him. Of course, you have to rein him in sometimes and remind him you can fight your own battles, but just know he’s lookin out for you.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Fushiguro loves to cuddle, but he will repress the urge to do so for as long as possible. Because of that, he doesn’t let you go, preferring to cling to you throughout the night. His cuddles are always deceptively loose too. His arms give you just enough wiggle room but the second you try to get up, it’s like fighting two pythons.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I don’t think he ever really planned on settling down, Megumi figured that he’d die long before he ever got the chance to settle down. Everyday is pretty much a new experience in terms of domesticity for him, he doesn’t have plans for the future, but as long as you’re with him, he’ll be happy.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he ever had to break up with someone, he’d probably ask for help on how to do so. The first person he’d ask (regrettably) would be Gojo who’d tell Megumi to just ghost the person. After asking around some more, he figured Kugisaki’s approach of getting it over with as bluntly as possible (although less mean) was the best option.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Megumi isn’t really the type for wedding ceremonies. He’s all about commitment (even though working up to marriage for him is longer than most) but he’s not a fan of being the center of attention, so a wedding ceremony/reception wouldn’t be his thing. If you wanted a ceremony, he’d be willing to compromise somewhat but otherwise, he’s perfectly fine with just going to the courthouse.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s kind of rough around the edges. In private, he can be the sweetest, most tender soul, but in public he’ll put 7 yards of distance between you both if you try to hug him. Basically, he’s very shy, so anything that’ll draw too much attention is a no go (he isn’t opposed to linking pinkies though).

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

At first Megumi really only hugged you when he was missing you, sad, or tired. Over time though, he got better at becoming more open with his affection and he’ll hug you whenever he feels the urge to. Despite that though, his hugs still have an undercurrent of desperation in them. He holds on just as tight each time like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

He’s operating on a very strict ‘If you don’t say it, I won’t’ policy and as such this man will not say a single thing to you unless prompted. He knows deep down that he loves you and that you set off butterflies in his stomach every time you smile, but he never really thought to verbalize that until you say ‘I love you’ first.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

Megumi doesn’t get jealous, he’s fought side by side with you and he knows you’re more than capable of fending off any unwanted suitors. Megumi put a lot of trust into you by already being in a relationship so to him, it makes no sense to be jealous over you. That all being said, he’s not above the occasional side eye if someone’s getting a little too buddy buddy.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

On a normal day, his kisses are so natural, he’s so slow and the pressure is just enough to have you thinking you’ve got all the time in the world. In near death/ post-near death circumstances, he’s a little more feral. When he kisses you like that, it feels like it’s the end of the world and he’s trying to make the most of it.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

Fushiguro isn’t good with kids that aren’t old enough to communicate. Older kids are fine with him, but guessing what a baby needs based on how loud it’s crying? Hard pass for him and he doesn’t even feel bad about it. The last time he had to watch a baby, he tried to leave one of his shikigami to watch it; long  story short, he had to explain to a cackling Gojo why his demon dogs wouldn’t let him leave to go to the bathroom.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Fushiguro are pretty rare. Most of the time you guys don’t really get to sleep in or even spend mornings together since most of the time there’s missions or trainings you’ll have to go to. When you do get the rare morning off, Fushiguro makes the most of it. He sleeps in and doesn’t wake up before 10 no matter what you try. When he does finally wake up, he loves cooking breakfast with you, he’s not the best cook, but he treasures the experience over anything.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Megumi are also rare as most curses come out at night and that’s kinda your guys’ job. If all goes well though, you’ll both come back a little earlier and just go straight to sleep. If it’s a late night where the curse took more out of either of you than expected, yall usually stay up and talk and snack until one of you falls asleep or the sun comes up.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It takes him an extremely long time to open up to you about his past. Not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want you to think less of him for it (especially during his problem child era). To be honest, you probably find out about certain things from other people. Once he’s cornered confronted, he’ll be completely (albeit a bit grudgingly) honest about it.

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

His anger is kind of weird, whereas before, he was a lot quicker to explode, bluntly telling off or even fighting whoever pissed him off, he’s changed. He tries his best to repress his emotions and as such, he comes off as patient, never expressing his true feelings/desires until pushed to the brink. 

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s the king of remembering details you mention in passing. His love language is partially acts of service so for him, remembering details about you helps him later. Oh remember that one time you needed a pen/pencil but didn’t have one? Never again, this man has a section of his shadows dedicated solely to pencils because of you. Oh what’s that, you like this random song? Guess what just got added to the playlist he made for you. Basically, while he may not look like it, he’s actually a simp and so if he can make your life easier/ make you happy, it’s worth it.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

So Megumi is someone who doesn’t play video games but is really good at them for no reason. One day, you’re playing a game of smash bros. and he’s just kicking your ass, like it was sad. Needless to say, after his 4th win, he “accidently” pressed the wrong button and let you win. He thinks you don’t know he did this but when you won, you kissed him and completely flustered him, to the point that he couldn’t play for a solid 5 minutes. 

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Despite knowing and trusting that you can defend yourself, he’s still super protective of you. You’re one of the few people that he cares about in the world and he’d give everything to see you safe and protected. As for how he’d like to be protected, knock some sense into him every once in a while. He has a habit of self sacrificing so if you want to protect him, remind him that you want to keep him alive as much as he wants to keep you alive.

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

On the outside, his dates are very simple. They usually consist of you and him either staying in or just hanging out at stores and the like. Every once in a while, he’ll try to take you somewhere special, like a cove he found or a festival. For most people, these may be simple dates, but Fushiguro puts so much effort into so may aspects of your dates that honestly, anything bigger would lose the personal touch your dates have.

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

One of his worst habits is his self-sacrificing tendencies. Even during a baseball game, he can’t help but sacrifice himself (especially if it means his friends/ you get to get the glory). With time though, he grows out of this and realizes it’s not selfish to want the best for yourself.

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s giving “I woke up like this” and it’s... it’s something. One might think the style is intentional since obviously, the look could only be achieved with gel, and to an extent, it is intentional. He might use gel to spike it a little more but the man legit rolls out of bed and chooses to leave his hair up like that.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No, as much as he loves you, Fushiguro is an introvert. He needs time to just be by himself and unwind every once in a while, so he’s got no complaints if you leave him to his own devices or have to be gone for a long time.

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

Megumi has negative zero relationship experience. He’s never found someone that was worth the risk/ worth opening up to, hell, he just barely got friends when he entered high school. Because of this, every part of your relationship is like navigating uncharted waters.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

He’s less someone to dislike a specific thing/ personality trait, and more someone who doesn’t like different people for different reasons, ex. Todo and Mai. If he had to pick a single trait, it’d probably have to be hypocriticism.

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He is someone who will fall asleep spread eagle one night and the next be huddled into a tiny little section of the bed. Mercy on you if you try to cuddle because now you’re wrapped up into his unconscious acrobatic routine.

[tricksters-captain]

Benedict Bridgerton / Anthony Bridgerton Imagines - Best Man Wins Part 3

AN: Here’s part 3! A little bit of a filler chapter but I promise things will start to pick up quickly!

(🎶🎶🎶) = Link to song

Overall Summary:  Entering a society you thought you had left behind, you find yourself in a tricky triangle with two gentleman you never thought you’d fall for.

This Chapter: A sibling rivalry like no other. 

(PART 1) // (PART 2)

Pairing(s): Anthony Bridgerton x fem!Reader, Benedict Bridgerton x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,169

Warnings: None

Anthony reentered the Bridgerton house to see Benedict sat on the settee with Eloise and Francesca munching on some chocolates that Francesca had received as a gift that morning. 

“Benedict, may I have a word?” Anthony asked, pulling off his gloves as he entered the drawing room. 

“Go ahead, Brother.” Benedict said through a mouthful of chocolate. 

“Privately.” Anthony shot a look at his sisters to which neither moved. 

Benedict sighed as everyone in the family knew of the girls stubbornness and so he left the room with Anthony.

They entered Anthony’s study where Benedict sat down in the corner on a comfy chair and Anthony leant against his desk.

“What is it, Brother?” Benedict asked, popping a chocolate he had brought with him in his mouth. 

“What are your intentions with (Y/n) (Y/l/n)?” Anthony asked with complete seriousness. 

Benedict chuckled lightly as he leant forward. 

“What ever do you mean, Brother?” Benedict pondered. 

“I know you paid her a call today. And you danced with her last night.” Anthony informed his younger brother. 

“So?” Benedict couldn’t understand why his brother was being so serious. 

“Do you wish to marry this girl?” Anthony asked the same question as his mother had to him. 

“Anthony. She’s a beautiful woman. The most beautiful I’ve seen in a very long time. If I wish to spend time with her, it doesn’t mean I wish to marry her. Why are you so curious about this one? I’ve danced with many other girls before.” Benedict had an idea. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that Anthony had paid (Y/n) a visit too that day. 

“You haven’t sent flowers to a girl before.” Anthony stated. Which was the truth, none of them had. 

“Neither have you, Brother.” Benedict retorted. 

“Seems we have a situation here.” Anthony folded his arms across his chest. 

“Seems we do.” Benedict rose to his feet and mimicked his older brother. 

“I say...” Anthony sighs. “...We both can spend time with Miss (Y/l/n) if we wish and if anything comes of it then we shall see just which brother she prefers.” 

Benedict could see the mischievous glint in his brother’s eye. 

“But we do not let this get in the way of the family. If this spirals out of our control and comes between us then we both agree to leave the girl alone?” Anthony added. 

“Agreed.” Benedict held out his hand and the brothers shook on it. 

Surely this was just harmless courting... there wasn’t any wedding bells ringing just yet...

After a long day of suitors, you decided to flop on the settee with your book and curl up comfortably, munching on some of the treats that were brought to you today. 

“Oh sit up, (Y/n).” Your mother chided you as she went to leave the room. “It’s  unladylike.”

“There are currently no men in this house. I may sit how I please.” You argued as you popped another macaroon into your mouth just to irritate her. 

“Stop eating all those sweets too! We have another event to attend tomorrow night and you don’t want me instructing the tightening of your corset if you are bloated because of it.” Your mother called back before disappearing into the house. 

You groaned and pushed the pack away, taking only one extra. 

You felt the sun through the window find it’s way to your face, warming you. It truly was a lovely day outside and you had been stuck indoors the entire time. 

“Lottie!” You called out as you pushed yourself to your feet. 

“Yes Miss.” She appeared quickly as she flattened her skirt. 

“I shall like to take a stroll.” You announced, putting down the book that you had failed to read all day 

“I shall fetch your coat and cap, miss.” Lottie rushed out into the hall to which you followed. 

You tied your cap to your head and Lottie helped you with your coat before you left the house. 

You walked in silence, raising your head slightly to feel the sun as Lottie followed a short distance behind you. 

“Miss (Y/l/n)!” A girls voice cried out. 

You looked across the street towards the park where you spotted two young girls heading towards you. 

You recognised the both of them from the night before. One had the familiar chestnut hair of the Bridgerton family and the other a rather bright red head of hair. 

“I don’t know if you remember me, Miss (Y/l/n) but I’m Penelope Featherington.” Penelope lowered her head as she greeted you with a bright smile. 

“Of course I remember you, Miss Featherington.” You had some recollection of an orange haired tot. 

“Please call me Penelope.” Penelope insisted. 

“And you must call me Eloise. I remember how kind you used to be offering for me to play with you and Daphne when all I wanted to do was play with Colin and the boys.” Eloise greeted you with the same enthusiasm. 

“It’s pleasure to see you again, Eloise. And I must extend the same invitation, you both must call me (Y/n).” You were thankful for their warm welcome. Before this social season you were terrified no one would wish to speak to you after your fathers scandal. 

“You simply must promenade with us!” Eloise took hold of your arm as she guided you towards the park.

“How is your brother Colin? I remember how he used to pull Daphne’s hair and make her scream for your mother.” You couldn’t help but giggle at your childhood memories. 

“He is off seeing the world. He left after the last season and only seems to come back for a handful of weeks at a time.” Eloise explained. He had always been the naughtiest of the Bridgeton siblings yet the one who seemingly could always get away with murder. 

“And your sisters, Penelope?” You queried. 

“Still unmarried despite Mother’s attempts to sell them to then men of the ton.” Penelope mumbled to your enjoyment. 

The three of you laughed together as you walked through the park. 

“Mother has not stopped talking about you since she saw you last night. I believe she’s already written Daphne three letters insisting they come down to London earlier than they had planned.” Eloise told you as she squeezed your arm. 

“Oh goodness. I hope Daphne doesn’t trouble herself and rush down just to see me. We haven’t seen each other in lord knows how long.” You shook your head at Violet’s attempt to rekindle old relationships.

“11 years to be exact.” Eloise spoke up. You furrowed your eyebrows at her in curiosity and amusement. 

“Lady Whistledown.” Penelope explained for her. 

“That woman really does know everything, doesn’t she?” You chuckled. 

“Incredible woman, I think. I’ve searched for her but my efforts have resulted in nothing so far.” Eloise pouted at the idea she hasn’t been the genius to unmask the anonymous writer. 

You felt yourself shiver slightly as the wind blew past the three of you. The clouds had made the sky overcast and the wind had picked up sending through a chill. 

“You must come back with me and Penelope and have some tea to warm up. You can’t walk all the way back to your house in this cold. You can borrow one of our carriages.” Eloise took notice of your shudder and you couldn’t refuse in a polite way as she was right and so you found yourself at the Bridgerton house front door. 

“Mama! I have a guest!” Eloise announced loudly in the house which made you laugh again. Eloise hadn’t become any more ladylike than she had been as a toddler. 

“Eloise, you mustn't shout.” Violet had begun to scold Eloise as she exited the drawing room but her face lit up at the sight of you. 

“Miss (Y/l/n)!” Violet’s face shone as she announced your name. 

“Please, Lady Bridgeton, call me (Y/n).” You squeezed her hands as she took hold of your own. 

“(Y/n), I believe I told you to call me Violet.” She gave you a jesting warning stare and you nodded with a smile. 

“Violet.” You started. “I’m sorry to arrive unannounced, I bumped into Eloise and Penelope in the park and Eloise insisted I come back to warm up.” 

“No worries, my dear! No worries at all! I’ll have a fresh pot of tea brought up with some cakes and biscuits.” Violet guided you all into the drawing room to which you spotted Francesca playing the pianoforte. 

“(Y/n)!” Francesca paused her playing to greet you. 

“Oh my goodness. I thought Eloise had grown so much. Now look at you!” You gushed over the beautiful girl. “Both of you have blossomed into such beautiful women.”

“Thank you.” Francesca smiled warmly at you. “But I am not the seasons incomparable, that is you.” 

“As Whistledown writes.” You mutter. 

“As the reaction from the ton’s men last night proclaimed.” Eloise laughed along with her sister. 

“Still, I gather you’ve been busy today with callers.” You gestured to the flower displays around the room.

“Not as busy as your residence. I hear every man in the ton went to call on you today.” Francesca brushed off her own accomplishments. 

“I bet it’s exhausting. Constantly, ‘hello, oh yes thank you for the flowers that will die in a couple of weeks if not days, goodbye, hello, oh yes thank you, goodbye, oh hello, another man coming with the intention to enslave me as his wife’...” Eloise mocked the gentleman which made you burst out in laughter that you could not contain. 

“I’m glad to know you find my sister as amusing as she finds herself.” Anthony’s voice seemed to come from nowhere. 

You spun around to see him stood in the doorway. Just as handsome as he was earlier that day. 

“Lord Bridgerton.” You bowed your head in greeting to which he replied with the same.

“I was just coming to find my mother.” Anthony told you. “But I am glad to have found you instead.”

“Are you saying you’d rather see someone more than your dear mother?” Violet came up behind Anthony with a maid holding a tray of tea beside her. 

“There are very few people I’d rather see than you, Mother.” Anthony tried to charm his mother but she only responded with a ‘hmmmm’. 

You couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. 

The maid placed the tray down and Violet began to pour cups of tea.

“Tea, Anthony?” She asked her eldest who had been watching you as you sat down on the settee beside Eloise and Penelope.

“Just a small cup, please, Mother. I had intended to go to the club shortly.” Anthony sat himself down on the opposite settee, his attentions never leaving you.

You glanced towards the man and felt your cheeks flush slightly at his bold stare. 

 “Where has Benedict got too?” Eloise questioned her older brother. 

“I believe he is in the back garden getting some air.” Anthony responded, finally letting his attention move from you over to his sister. 

“It was lovely all day until just now, the clouds covering the sun suddenly made the temperature drop.” You spoke up as you took your tea from Violet. 

“It has been one of our colder starts to the season.” Violet sighed. 

“I don’t mind it being colder than usual. Saves me from sweating through my ridiculous dresses.” Eloise stated which earned a disapproving look from her mother.

“Eloise!” Violet scolded her quietly. 

“It’s quite alright. I must agree that conditions can become quite unpleasant in the summer when we are expected to look our best.” You were on Eloise’s side. It had been terrible working hot summer days in the thick second hand dresses you often wore as a lady’s companion. 

“I bet summer by the sea was enjoyable these past few years however?” Anthony asked as if he had read your mind. 

“Indeed. We were very fortunate.” You didn’t want to expand on the matter as your mother had warned you about speaking of your previous life before society. 

“What did you do all these years out in the country?” Eloise pressed but fortunately Violet cut in. 

“Eloise enough! (Y/n) has not been here five minutes, she does not need your interrogation.” Violet quietened Eloise to which you were grateful. 

You sent her a subtle smile which Anthony didn’t miss. 

He had too wondered what your life had been like after your father’s scandal but he knew it wasn’t his place to ask... yet. 

“I hear from Eloise that you sent Daphne news of my arrival?” You were the one to initiate change of topic. 

“Oh yes! Daphne has written back and has expressed just how terribly excited she is to see you again, Dear.” Violet smiled widely as she thought on the letter. 

“I can’t imagine just how beautiful she must be now after seeing Eloise and Francesca so grown.” You were excited to see your old playmate but you also felt nervous. Daphne had always been the pretty one, the clever one out of the two of you. After seeing the other Bridgerton daughters, you couldn’t even begin to picture what Daphne looked like now. 

“She was named her season’s incomparable, however, I fear that may not have been true if you had returned earlier.” Anthony placed his cup down and smirked mischievously at you. 

“It is a good thing that (Y/n) returned this year instead then.” Violet sent Anthony a sideways glance.

“Mother, may I steal our guest away for a tour of the house since she has not visited in such a long while?” Anthony had a playful look in his eyes which his mother never failed to notice. 

“If (Y/n) agrees to it.” Violet looked towards you. 

“That would be lovely. I was only just gushing over the wisteria from the house in Benedict’s bouquet earlier today.” You suddenly regretted your choice of words as you said them. It was awkward enough for you to have received flowers from both brothers only for you to mention it in front of everyone. 

“I assured Benedict you’d like them.” Violet only smiled warmly as Fran and Eloise shared a look. 

Anthony rose to his feet and offered you his arm. 

He lead you from the drawing you and began his tour.

“I must admit I didn’t expect to be seeing you again so soon.” Anthony smirked as you walked alongside him. 

“I simply ran into Eloise and Penelope in the park and Eloise insisted I visit and use one of your carriages to travel home.” You explained again even though you had mentioned it earlier. “If that’s still alright, of course.”

“I insist. The walk to your residence may not be very long but in the wind it can be disagreeable.” Anthony looked straight ahead as he spoke which allowed you a closer view at his side profile. He had a strong jaw and the curve of his lips was enhanced by the light from the window ahead which made you nibble down on your own. It was almost enough to make you forget it was rude to stare.

“I feel I must apologise for my intrusion. You had told your mother you were meant to be heading for the gentleman’s club. I fear I am keeping you.” You tried to keep from a silence falling between you two. 

“Believe me, Miss (Y/l/n), there is nothing I would rather be doing than this right at this moment.” Anthony glanced down at you with honest eyes. It caused your chest to tighten. 

“I must admit I find that hard to believe.” You tried to hide your smile as you tested the man. 

“Is that so?” Anthony cocked his eyebrow at you. “And what do you suppose I would find more interesting than spending this time with you?” 

“Oh boyish things I suppose. Watching boxing, gambling, visiting the theatre after hours.” You smiled as you listed off the events on your fingers. 

“Are you insinuating I visit the theatre’s after hours? I thought we had already discussed these matters earlier, Miss (Y/l/n)?” Anthony feigned hurt as he spoke. 

“Discussed? No. I’d say we approached the topic of your rakish reputation before my mother interrupted and you fled the house.” You were having too much fun with this. 

“Fled? Now that is where I have to disagree. I would never flee anywhere.” Anthony continued walking you through the house as you conversed. 

You spotted from a distance, the backdoor of the house was ajar and through the window you could see Benedict sat in the garden with a book and a pencil. 

Was Benedict an artist?

As you grew closer to the backdoor you suddenly felt a nervosa rise in your stomach. You didn’t think you were quite ready to speak to both Anthony and Benedict alone. 

“Do you suppose we should return to the drawing room before Eloise starts conspiring where we have gotten too?” You stopped in your step to try and turn both you and Anthony around. 

“You’re right. I don’t doubt she has already been gossiping with miss Featherington about our whereabouts.” Anthony turned on his heels and you both started back to the drawing room. 

“Will I be expecting to see you at the Helliwell’s ball the day after the next?” Anthony asked as you drew closer to company once again. 

“Yes. My Mama has already accepted the invitation so we will be attending.” You informed him. 

“Well, until then, Miss (Y/l/n).” Anthony stopped just before you reached the door to the drawing room and faced you. He pressed a light kiss to your knuckles and hovered your hand before his lips. “I must be off to the club now but I will send a carriage for you before I go.”  

“Thank you, Lord Bridgerton.” You nodded your head politely. 

“Please, it’s Anthony.” Anthony smirked at you, refraining from sending you a wink as he backed away. 

“Is that Anthony off, dearest?” Violet asked as you reentered the drawing room. 

“Yes.” You nodded. “Which does remind me that I must be off home before my mother worries I've been gone too long.” 

“Well, it’s been lovely seeing you, Dear.” Violet rose from her seat and embraced you warmly. 

“Thank you for having me.” You hugged her back with a grateful smile. “I will be back soon no doubt.” 

“I’ll be holding you to that.” Violet held her finger to you with a gay squint. 

You heard the horses out front and you knew this was your cue to leave. 

You bid farewell to Penelope, Francesca and Eloise before entering the carriage.

As you looked back at the house, you felt something arise in you. It was a worrying feeling. A worry that the attention from both the Bridgerton men was going to get you into trouble or worse...

(Next part soon!)

If you’d like to be added to the taglist then either private message me, leave an ask in my inbox or comment on here! 

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 6

sHi! How arth thou? I’m back to give you another list of recommendation! 

Beware of the Villainess

Description:

Sit back and take in this romantic tale of an angelic heroine and her devoted suitors as they vie for the depths of her love... or not. This story’s about to go through some edits! After an accident, a modern-day college student awakens as the story’s villainess, Melissa Foddebrat. She’s far from anyone’s favorite, but she IS the daughter of the duke. Determined to live it up, this new Melissa is doing things her way — antiquated society, be damned! All idiots, prepare to step aside or perish!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4.5/5

- art = 4.5/5

- C O M E D I C  G O L D 

- their meme-able face are so funny lmao

- ml is so cute & soft & deserves everything in the world

- mc is such a bad-ass like?? she’s so cool & she doesnt deserve to be treated less by that stupid prince ok

- she is beauty, she is grace, she is the queen!

- all i do is fangirl over the mc basically

- isekai

- i love her dynamic with her bro cause honestly same that’s how my sibs and are act sometimes lmao

- her maid is so cool 

- a bad-ass with a heart

- ml has this past and secret and i’m living for it

- a gem basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwa that will make you all sort of emotions. one of the best manhwas released this 2020 ok i said what i said

I Became the Villain's Mother

Description:

Summoned into her favorite novel as the infamous Duchess Roselia Chade, Haena is bathed in riches, power, and a family of her own. Life couldn’t be better, save for the small detail that her beloved stepson, Einspanner Chade, is also the evil mastermind destined to kill her. At this point in the story Ein is still just an adorable child yet to reach his cruel awakening, and so Roselia is determined to stop him from becoming a ruthless killer. But with the duke getting in her way and trying to poison his own son, safely raising a child that was primed for villainy may prove harder than she originally thought. The survival of both mother and child depends on whether Roselia can successfully rewrite their tragic ending!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 ok i’m loving it already despite the few chaps released

- art = 3/5

- IM LOVING THE TWIST

- this is an all out war between father & son ok

- ain is so cute like??

- i s e k a i 

- ain is such a bad ass cute little devil

- i know i know i’m collecting so many isekai-ish manhwas bcoz why not

- i love the mc so much shes so adorable and her previous job is awesome (i know you dont care but i wanted to be a daycare teacher too when i was a kid so yay)  

- she’s such an awesome mom like?? 

- the dad... the dad is idk but he’s a terrible dad for me (right now)

- ^ why is this like a discouragement comment like idek what i’m thinking yet i’m not gonna delete it 

- i love that this is mostly a son-mom manhwa bcoz it’s such a breath of fresh air and not to mention almost all dad-daughters manhwa are hurting me

- i’m here for the mom and son interactions basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwas for our souls! 

Marked By King Bs

Description:

High school is hard enough without a target on your back, but that’s exactly the situation Annie finds herself in when she crosses a group of the most popular kids in school. Marked by the king bee himself, the notorious Ashton Griffin, Annie becomes his newest fixation--and he is determined to make her life miserable. Now at his beck and call, Annie must stay on Ashton’s good side to maintain her peaceful life and avoid becoming a social pariah. As she navigates her way through alienating social cliques, persistent old crushes, and the hot upstairs neighbor who never puts a shirt on, Annie will soon learn that there’s more to being popular than meets the eye. She just wanted to live a normal life, but maybe there’s no escaping these king bees. An official comic adaptation based on the hit dating-sim game. I AM TARGETED BY THEM!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 3/5 

- ngl but i can already feel the slight cliche-ness of this story and yet i’m still here forgive me this is a guilty pleasure manhwa

- art = 4/5

- i love the mc (yes, that quickly)

- dark haired boyo is mine ok??

- kinda funny

- i miss the school life setting so hihihi

- verdict, a cute and good read!

Pixel of Life

Description:

After finding out her boyfriend has been cheating with her boss, Hana loses her menial desk job of 5 years. Countless rejections later, she finally lands an interview at a small art gallery. Hana jumps at the chance to leave the drama of the past few months behind. But her high school friend (and worst enemy) Jiyeon is the gallery owner? Their most peculiar romance is about to begin… or not?!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- o m g

- plot =4/5 this deserves more read tbh

- art = 4/5

- i’m starting to relate to mc since i started working cause #adultingsucks

- one of my dream jobs huhuhu

- i so love the twist 

- the s i b l i n g s

- i wanna know what happens next!!!

- s u s p e n s e 

- mix with mystery and spinkle with secrets and viola i present to you: the pixel of life

- verdict, a super good read!

The Antagonist’s Pet

Description:

Blessed with the face of an angel, young Sasha Tartt knows a life-altering secret: in this romance novel where she’s just a side character, she’s the only one who knows the true ending! When the antagonist of the story takes a particular liking to her, she must make a decision: help the clever and beautiful Rebecca find a happy ending, or side with the sweet-natured protagonist to ensure her own survival? On top of that, Sasha has to juggle the affections of her bespectacled love interest and tame a dragon boy! Can Sasha learn new tricks to win the hearts of these main characters? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4/5 so few chaps yet so good

- art = 3/5

- i so love that she acts dumb when she’s not cause i love scheming characters

- W O M E N  E M P O W E R M E N T

- who run the world? girls! 

- i love that she loves the villain cause girl same

- idec whether there’s an ml or not cause we stay for their future bond

- she is beauty, she is grace, she’s the villainess pet

- ^ it sounds better in my head

- verdict, a refreshing manhwa that will leave you wanting for moreee!

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

[magichcuse]

Full Name: Ysemay Magdalene Crossfeather

Nicknames: May, "Mrs. Daskalakis" (a mocking nickname from her cousins), Dismay (another mocking nickname), Marigold (a nickname from Laurent, which Ysemay hates), Doll/Doll-Face (a nickname from Randolph, which she also hates), My Lady (a nickname from Cyril)

Relationships:

Aldrich, Ysemay's father, lost all of her respect when he became engaged to another woman less than a month after her mother passed away. Since then, he's become less accepting of who she is as a person and puts pressure on her to move on when she isn't ready to. Though he's willing to allow Ysemay to pick her own suitor, he'd still force her into an unwanted marriage if the man Ysemay chooses isn't interested in her.

Sibyl, Ysemay's mother, is the one who understands her the best and someone she looks up to. All of Ysemay's unconventional interests come from her. It felt like Ysemay's world was destroyed when she passed on and though she's still able to contact her, things will never be the same as they used to.

Regina, Ysemay's stepmother, pretends to be nice when she has to but otherwise pretends she doesn't exist. She's at least a decade younger than Sibyl was and she acts as though she's been with Aldrich for longer than she has. Ysemay suspects Aldrich was having an affair with Regina, though she keeps this to herself.

Rylund, Ysemay's older brother, is her best friend and protector. She tries sticking close to him at school because she doesn't feel safe without him around. He genuinely cares about her and would do anything to make her happy (like approach Theo about his sister) even if Ysemay assures him it isn't necessary.

Likes:

Despite her sweet exterior, Ysemay takes great interest in horrors and general oddities. She's not easily scared by gore...though that's not to say she can't be scared by other things.

Theo is the guy Ysemay has her sights on. She loves how different he is from her suitors and hopes he'd be able to accept her for who she is. Even though she has the means to arrange a marriage with him, Theo's happiness is her priority...even if that means letting him go and getting married off to an infinitely more abusive guy.

Ysemay absolutely hates the whole culture around Courtship and whatnot, but she still looks forward to Etiquette Class. She earnestly believes that she could win Theo over if she proved herself to be a Valuable Asset to him by giving him an excellent grade. However, this belief causes her to spiral into a panic attack if she makes the slightest mistake because "Oh Gods, Theo probably will hate me forever for this..."

Dislikes:

Ysemay's cousins, Mallory and Tamberly, make her life a living hell. Both of them threaten to out Ysemay's crush on Theo and Tamberly taunts Ysemay by pushing herself onto Theo despite having literally no interest in him. The only reason Ysemay continues eating lunch with them is out of pressure and even then, it's obvious she isn't happy whenever they're near.

Ysemay's suitors aren't much better. Since she's a year younger than everyone else in her grade, boys like to take advantage of that. Rylund is usually closeby to prevent anything bad from happening, but when he isn't...it turns into a free-for-all.

Dueling makes Ysemay uncomfortable. She can't stand the idea of a person losing their life over something petty and the thought of her older brother putting himself at risk fills her with dread. Her discomfort with Dueling becomes even more understandable when Rylund dies in a competitive Dueling match. She was absolutely devastated.

Hobbies:

Performing rituals; many of them are Celtic (her mother passed those traditions onto her), though she dabbles in other rituals as well. Calls upon the gods/goddesses to protect her and the ones she loves.

Studying "old magic"; wears ceremonial robes, attending religious gatherings with her mother from a young age

Talking to the dead; mainly her mother, sometimes summoning an ancestor to learn more about her past. Would be willing to summon another person's relative for them if asked.

Fears:

Being dismissed as "just another one of those pretentious Crossfeathers"

Theo hating/resenting her

Being forced into an arranged marriage with one of the brutes who are courting her

Losing her mother permanently

Five Positive Traits:

1) Accepting; willing to befriend anyone regardless of status, loves unconditionally

2) Nurturing; will dote on others and care for them until she knows they're better, learned healing magic specifically to help Theo

3) Sets reasonable expectations; knows she can only control herself and not everything will end up the way she wants them to

4) Humble; refuses to take advantage of her status, plays down her accomplishments

5) Spiritually in tune; finds meaning through her rituals and ceremonial practices. Offers people to join in if they'd like but doesn't pressure people into following the same belief system as her.

Five Negative Traits:

1) Pushover; allows her cousins, suitors, and Patrick to walk all over her

2) Overly complacent; accepts being abused by her future husband as an inevitable thing

3) Sheltered; has a warped perception due to her lack of socialization outside of her small social circle.

4) Prone to panic; won't bat an eye at a scary movie, but goes into an anxiety attack whenever she's cornered by a suitor or makes a slip up in front of her peers.

5) Complicit; rarely ever speaks up about the corruption of the system as to avoid rocking the boat.

Picture:

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week Seven, Part One

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’.

Image 2 - A page from the Entertainment section of the Capital Herald, dated 6th February 2021. Full image description and transcript below the cut. End ID.]

Read the fic here! All news stories and events are entirely fictional; real names of people (with the exception of image attributions) and places are used only for context. No affiliation is implied, and no disrespect is intended by the use of their names in this work of fiction.

[EDIT: With thanks to HolRose/@hasturswig for spotting that I had overlooked the sad passing of John Noakes, who originally appeared on this page!]

The Capital Herald - Saturday, 6th February 2021 Entertainment, page 15

Top left: Grasswater redo rumoured Will anybody tackle the ‘cursed’ adaptation? [Image Description: The ‘w’ in ‘Grasswater, ‘h’ in ‘the’, and ‘o’ in ‘adaptation’ in the above headline have been circled in pencil. End ID.] It's been nearly a decade and a half since the critically-acclaimed adaptation of Sir Thomas Parsett's The Grasswater Affair flopped into cinemas, and rumours are once again circulating about a possible reboot. The first attempt at transferring Parsett's magnum opus to the big screen was released in 2009 after a series of setbacks to the production process. Among the calamities that befell the set were a fire in the wardrobe department, an overdose requiring producers to recast the lead role of Fabian, and a bout of food poisoning that halted filming for over a week. There were whispers, among the more superstitious, that the film was cursed. By the time The Grasswater Affair was finally released, the delay had whipped the original book's fans into a frenzy of anticipation, and excitement over the forthcoming film actually pushed the 19th-century novel into the bestseller lists for the first time in the weeks before the release. Early reviews were promising, and the good press only fed the hype machine. But the crowds that packed into cinemas to watch it emerged disappointed; while the reasons they gave for their disappointment varied wildly, everybody from casual viewers to die-hard book lovers seemed to find it lacking in some aspect or another. It deviated too far from the source text, while adhering precisely to the minor details that didn't matter; it featured a young actor fresh out of drama school, rather than the promised household name; it lingered too long on shots of the actresses' bosoms, and the key object that proved key to the plot was left entirely out of focus in the background of a crucial early scene. While, naturally, some audience members enjoyed it in its own right, it never became either a blockbuster hit or a cult classic, and it still boasts a lowly 2.9 stars on the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) and 24% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This being the case, it might be hard to understand why rumours continue to circulate about a revival of The Grasswater Affair, or what might make this time different from the many, many other occasions when such a story has surfaced on the internet. The first question is easily answered by a look at the thriving community of Parsett fans who adore the original novel – and, indeed, the rest of the series The Grasswater Affair is part of. Following first Fabian, and then various other heroes, through a sort of alternative 19th century underpinned by magic and other fantasy tropes, it's been hailed as a masterpiece – and it's aged surprisingly well despite the shift in society's views and tolerances since its publication. The first novel sees Fabian locked in a battle of wits with his somewhat older rival, Rafferty, as they seek to make their fortunes in a society rife with danger and – worse – scandal. As for the second question, the recent rumours have an extra ring of truth to them thanks to the attachment of an actual name – writer-turned-showrunner Noel Garmin is said to be in talks about the project. Having adapted several of his own books for the small screen, could he now be turning his famed respect for written source material to a film or series based on Parsett's masterpiece? If he does, book fans can expect to be very pleased with the result. Garmin was asked about his upcoming projects at a recent convention panel, and his answer, while enigmatic, seemed promising.“Well, I've got to write some books, at some point! But I do also want to work on some more TV, it's a fascinating way of telling a story and it's still quite new and exciting for me. Perhaps I could tell one of my favourite stories, one that I didn't originally write. I'm actually talking to some people... We'll have to see. Hopefully I'll have news for you soon.” Hopefully you will, Noel. Hopefully you will. CITRON DEUX-CHEVAL Top right: Summer’s operatic offerings Last of Glyndebourne festival announcements [Image Description: The apostrophe and ‘s’ of ‘summer’s’ and the ‘t’ of ‘operatic’ in the above headline are circled in pencil. Below the headline is a short, wide picture of a theatre auditorium with red curtains. Small text over the bottom of the picture reads ‘Photo: Gabriel Varaljay | Unsplash’. End ID.] Opera fans are in for a treat this summer, as Puccini's Turandot returns to Glyndebourne Opera House. The venue in Lewes is renowned as the home of great opera, and Turandot is a favourite no matter where it's performed, so this combination of the two is a perfect match. Throw in popular young tenor Jeremy Wensleydale – most recently seen on ITV's The Masked Singer - performing the role of Calaf, and it's a performance guaranteed to impress. The play follows Calaf as he sets out to win the hand of the titular princess. Each suitor is asked three riddles, and failure means instant death. But answering three riddles is not enough to win the heart of Princess Turandot, and Calaf strikes a desperate bargain; if she can guess his true name by daybreak, she may put him to death regardless. If she fails, the marriage goes ahead. It's an interesting method of courting, to be sure, but the opera has enchanted and delighted audiences for many years now. And, if nothing else, who can resist an opportunity to hear 'Nessun Dorma' live? Glyndebourne members can book tickets now for dates between 25th May and 22nd June; remaining tickets will be available from the 18th of April. Turandot is the latest title to be announced by the opera house and completes their summer season's line-up. There will also be performances of Cosi Fan Tutte, Tristan and Isolde, Il Turco in Italia, and an array of concerts and other events. The Glyndebourne Summer Festival is always a highlight of the arts scene in the middle of the year, but there are events all year round. Currently, the opera house is a stopping-point for a touring production of Romeo & Juliet, which has already passed through the Chichester Festival Theatre and will then go on to Colchester, Ipswich, Cambridge, Sheffield, Manchester and Leeds. The show is a daring new interpretation of the age-old Shakespearean tragedy, fusing music and dance with the familiar story, and a full review will appear in the Capital Herald on Thursday. From the middle of February, Romeo & Juliet will be replaced at Glyndebourne with a more traditional #approach to La Traviata by Giuseppe Verdi. The music of La Traviata may be familiar, even to audiences unfamiliar with the story, as it was rather liberally plundered for inspiration by Donato Lovreglio in 1865. Of course, that does assume a familiarity with Lovreglio - but if you find yourself humming along during your first attendance, that might very well be why. Incidentally, for more opera and classical music trivia, you might find my recent book, Inside Opera, worth a read - especially if you need to brush up on your cultured conversation points before you visit the opera house this summer. EDWARD BIGGS Inside Opera, by Edward Biggs, is published by Byker Press and is available now in all good bookshops. #Hardback RRP ￡9.99/€11.99.

Centre left: Capital Herald scoops NMA Star-studded ceremony honours news greats [Image Description: The ‘H’ of ‘Herald’, ‘A’ of ‘NMA’, and ‘t’ of ‘star’ in the above headline are circled in pencil.] The 2021 News Media Award ceremony took place on Thursday evening at a glamorous event held in the Mayfair Room at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair. While many of the attendees are more used to operating the cameras than parading in front of them, they rose to the occasion with great aplomb, rubbing shoulders on the red carpet with some of the most famous entertainers in the UK who'd come to add their own special touches to the ceremony. It will come as no surprise to learn that Trevor McDonald, Natasha Kaplinsky, and Naga Munchetty were in attendance, as were Tom Bradby and Dan Walker. But the attendee who really got heads turning was Carmine Zugiber, notorious for attending very few events on UK soil. Although she's normally out in the field, she's been based in London for the last couple of months, covering the political beat for News World Weekly in Uriel Scrolle's absence, and it seems she couldn't resist the opportunity to collect her awards for Best Combat Coverage and Outstanding Field Reporting in person. Wearing a glamorous Ligur gown in striking red to match her hair, she paused on the red carpet to exchange words with some of those less fortunate reporters covering the event. “I don't know what to do with myself, with nobody shooting at me!” Zugiber joked. “Where's my bulletproof jacket?” The ceremony featured a performance of 'Messy (If I Want To Be)' by rapper P-White, who also presented an award for Entertainment Columnist of the Year to the Capital Herald's very own Citron Deux-Cheval. Another of the Capital Herald's staff writers, Edward Biggs, was nominated in the category of News-Adjacent Achievement for his 2020 trivia book, That Guy From That Thing. While the award, presented by Dame Angela Crowley, eventually went to News World Weekly's Donald Eath for High Score: A Study in Arcade Machines, Edward did get a chance to meet Dame Angela and exchange a few words. “She said I shouldn't feel discouraged, as she didn't win anything at her first awards ceremony either – and she wished me every success with my new book, which has just come out,” said Biggs of the star. “Hopefully, next year, I'll be bringing home a trophy too.” At the end of the night, as the winners and losers drifted home, the presses were already roaring into action to print the morning's papers. The news never stops; there was precious little time for the winners to enjoy the warm glow of appreciation, and no time at all for the less successful nominees to lament their losses. But at the end of the day, the whole industry could sleep safe in the knowledge that the work we do is valuable, and valued. MARY HODGES

Bottom left: Blue Peter garden party ‘22 Celebrating 10 years in show’s new location [Image description: The ‘B’ and ‘e’ of ‘Blue’ and the ‘h’ of ‘show’ in the above headline are circled in pencil. End ID.] The BBC has announced that it will be holding a party for former Blue Peter presenters, guests, and viewers in 2022. Held in the Blue Peter garden in Salford to celebrate ten years since it was relocated from London, the party is expected to provide an opportunity for Blue Peter presenters, past and present, to mingle and let their hair down, as well as catching up with some of the guests who've appeared on the show over the years. Former presenters such as Adam Young, Katy Hill, Radzi Chinyanganya, Anthea Turner, Gethin Jones, Pat Maputi, Yvette Fielding and Konnie Huq can expect an invite, of course, as can the current team of Lindsey Russell, Richie Driss, Mwaka Mudenda, and Adam Beales. But the former guests are an even more varied bunch; everyone from Idina Menzel and Sir Chris Hoy to McFly and Tim Peake could be invited, to say nothing of the hundreds of farmers, bakers, teachers, parents, and kids who've taken part in the show. While the party is quite a long way off yet, the BBC are already hard at work figuring out a lottery system that will allow them to give every viewer an equal chance to be invited to the party. Register your interest now on the Blue Peter website to make sure you don't miss out. SARAH JEUNE Ad, bottom right: [Image Description: A black background with a dark-grey crown resting on it. There are smudges of a lighter colour on the background. Above the crown, graffiti-style text reads ‘P-White’. Below it, written as if in chalk, are the words ‘Chalkdust tour’, underlined as if in chalk. Beneath it, a red bar reading ‘New dates added’ covers the words ‘Sold out’. Below that is the web address ‘www.chalkdust-tour.com’. Tiny writing in the bottom right hand corner reads ‘Photo: Zach Angelo for ProChurchMedia | Unsplash’. End ID.]

[End of transcript]

[theliberaltony]

via FiveThirtyEight

Of all the shocking NBA free-agency moves this summer, Isaiah Thomas’s deal with Denver — for just one year, at the minimum salary for a veteran player — might have been the most telling, in terms of where the league is heading.

This time last year, Thomas — one of the NBA’s most underpaid players even then, at just over $6 million — was saying openly that the Celtics “know they’ve got to bring the Brink’s truck out,” a reference to the nine-figure max contract he felt he deserved. And on some level, it would have been difficult to argue with him. At 28 years old, the diminutive point guard was coming off a banner season in which he finished fifth in MVP voting while averaging almost 29 points per game (on one of the league’s best true shooting percentages) and led the Celtics to the East’s best record.

It’s no secret that much of the market collapse for Thomas’s services stemmed from questions about the torn labrum in his hip, which cost him months of rehab time before he ever suited up for the Cavs, then required surgery in March (while he was playing for the Lakers). But it also appears that the ever-changing NBA flipped its script entirely just before Thomas could cash in on a deal that scorers of his caliber generally get. The about-face highlights the fear teams have about committing big money to someone as short as Thomas, given the challenges his height creates in yet another league where an increasing number of players are roughly the same size.

Point guards and centers were closer in height last year than they’ve ever been, separated by an average of just 8.3 inches — down 21 percent from the 10.5 inches or so that stood between them during the mid-to-late 1990s, according to data from Basketball-Reference.com.

Those shifts affect Thomas in two meaningful ways. First, the Tacoma, Washington, native — who, at just 5-foot-9, is the shortest player in the NBA — isn’t even close to the average size for a point guard of 6 feet, 2.5 inches. Which brings up the second issue: As such an outlier, the undersized Thomas becomes an even bigger liability on defense when his team is forced to switch on screens at that end of the floor — something that’s become far more common in the past five years alone. The median number of switches leaguewide has more than doubled over that span, from 4.3 per 100 possessions in 2013-14 to 9.1 switches per 100 possessions this past season, according to Second Spectrum.

“To even have a chance against a team like Golden State, you have to make a point of not being put into rotations,” Rockets coach Mike D’Antoni told me in May. “They’ll kill you that way.”

Certain teams are better equipped to play that kind of defense than others — the Rockets and Warriors, widely considered the league’s best teams, led the NBA in switch frequency — but the process doesn’t always work as well when Thomas is in the midst of it. The Celtics were 5 percent more efficient defensively in switch scenarios when Thomas was off the floor than on in 2016-17, according to Second Spectrum. And while Thomas’s departure coincided with a slew of other changes in Boston prior to last season, the team’s jump to from No. 12 to No. 1 in defensive efficiency after dealing Thomas supports the notion that a merely solid defensive team can become great on that side of the ball once it removes its weakest link.

With teams vying to become switchier in an increasingly versatile league (and some clubs perhaps having pushed the envelope too far on that front), it raises the dilemma of how to integrate Thomas into a defensive gameplan without torpedoing it altogether.29

Even on offense, where Thomas is undoubtedly a boon, his greatest strengths are ones accentuated by a particular style of play. With Boston, he made use of direct-dribble handoffs more than anyone — a play that worked well alongside screen-setter Al Horford in part because coach Brad Stevens was committed to building an offense in which Thomas could thrive. The plays didn’t work as well in Cleveland, where the Cavs ran them about half as often and with less efficiency. (The same was true during his stint with the Lakers, according to Second Spectrum.)

Taken together, this suggests that Thomas — like most players but perhaps unlike most stars — needs a specific ecosystem around him in order for him to thrive, or for him to be the max-level talent he believes himself to be. He could be that player in Boston, where the Celtics had good defenders and players that could not only screen but also space the floor for him. The likelihood of that being true on a team with far less talent seems remote.

Thomas’s new situation in Denver splits the middle from that standpoint. He will be in an up-tempo system with an abundance of talented players, including Nikola Jokic, Paul Millsap and FiveThirtyEight favorite Gary Harris, among others. Thomas has also played previously for coach Michael Malone, the first NBA head man to coax 20 points per game out of him. But there’s a catch: The Nuggets, like last year’s Cavs, play almost no D, meaning Thomas won’t be able to expect much help on that end as he works to rebuild his value as a sixth man.

Again, the tactical constraints of Thomas’s size are far from the only question marks surrounding him. The health of his hip is key, obviously. The Cleveland situation — a particular challenge because of the win-now pressure created by LeBron James’s pending free agency — was disastrous for Thomas: The team’s awful defense made him a bad fit, and his penchant for taking shots at either teammates or coaches became problematic. His difficulties were compounded by the seesaw nature of the free-agent money that’s changed hands in recent years.

When Thomas began talking about being paid handsomely, it was during the summer of a massive salary-cap increase, when players like Evan Turner, Bismack Biyombo and Nicolas Batum — who’ve never been All-Stars — got $70 million, $72 million and $120 million, respectively. Mistakes from 2016 are still being felt by certain teams, and it doesn’t help that some are keeping the books clear ahead of next year, when several stars are expected to hit the market. So, much of this boils down to Thomas’s free agency coming at the worst time.

“You can always play the what-if game, but man, I’ve been F’ed over so many times,” Thomas told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, while acknowledging that potential suitors were undoubtedly concerned about the health of his hip. “But of course I think about [the money]. I’m human.”

If there’s a bright side, or at least a glass-half-full equation, it’s that Thomas can still redeem himself. He is, or at least can be, a supremely gifted scorer. Yes, he gets his shots blocked often, but Thomas has learned how to use angles as leverage, and he displays bursts of quickness to outsmart defenders. Prior to his truncated 2017-18, he was driving to the basket more than almost anyone, and he connected on a high percentage of his shots around the rim. He’s still proven to be automatic from the line. And in the past, Thomas has shown he can catch fire from deep.

As he’s done so many times before, Thomas, famously the last player picked in the 2011 draft, will have to overcome the odds. He may not even need the absolute perfect fit to begin building his value again. Instead, Thomas may just need the ever-shifting NBA to sit still just long enough for him to find a new normal.

[orbemnews]

More Businesses Are Standing for Justice What’s good for business Andrew here. Yesterday’s guilty verdict against George Floyd’s murderer, a former Minneapolis police officer, was a symbol of something profound: a demonstrable shift in the way this country, increasingly supported by business, has strived for civil rights. As we ponder the meaning of this decision, it is worth recalling a moment in 1965, in the middle of that era’s civil rights movement. A Wall Street bond firm, C.F. Securities, told Alabama that it would “no longer buy or sell bonds issued by the state or any of its political subdivisions.” Gov. George C. Wallace, who objected to desegregation, had said the state shouldn’t pay for the National Guard to protect Martin Luther King Jr. and protesters in the Selma-to-Montgomery march. The investment firm’s executive vice president, Donald E. Barnes, wrote to the governor that his failure “to protect the citizens of Alabama in their exercise of constitutional rights” amounted to “discouragements to Alabama’s economic future.” He insisted that the move was based on economic risk, but the letter made clear it was about more than that. The rest of corporate America was mostly silent, or opposed: Moody’s said it was “not sympathetic with the civil rights movement” and had no plan to change the state’s credit rating. What C.F. Securities did may have been unique in 1965. But this past year has proved that business is playing a much larger role in social justice, even if progress has been far too slow and much work remains. Companies have given employees paid time off on Juneteenth; the N.B.A. emblazoned the words “Black Lives Matter” on courts; Netflix steered its cash into local banks that serve Black communities; Wall Street banks announced programs worth billions to support Black communities; and just last week, in perhaps the greatest demonstration of the new responsibility business is feeling, 700 companies and executives signed a letter opposing laws that make it harder for people to vote. “The murder of George Floyd last Memorial Day felt like a turning point for our country. The solidarity and stand against racism since then have been unlike anything I’ve experienced,” Brian Cornell, the C.E.O. of Target, wrote in a note to employees of the Minneapolis-based retailer yesterday. “Like outraged people everywhere, I had an overwhelming hope that today’s verdict would provide real accountability. Anything short of that would have shaken my faith that our country had truly turned a corner.” You know what? Justice is good for business. HERE’S WHAT’S HAPPENING The European Super League has collapsed. Plans to create a closed competition of top soccer clubs fell apart yesterday when six English teams withdrew, bowing to outrage from fans and threats by lawmakers. Shortly after, an official at the Super League said the project had been suspended, ending an effort to upend soccer’s multibillion-dollar economics. Johnson & Johnson resumes the rollout of its vaccine in the E.U. The bloc’s drug regulator said that the shot’s benefits outweigh a small risk of blood clots, but wants a warning added. U.S. regulators will decide whether to end a pause on the vaccine in the coming days. Goldman Sachs releases worker diversity data. The Wall Street bank disclosed for the first time how many of its senior U.S. executives are Black: 49 out of more than 1,500. Banks agreed last year to publish more information about their work forces; Morgan Stanley has an even smaller share of Black executives than Goldman. Apple’s new products raise competition concerns. The tech giant unveiled new iPads and iMacs, and a revamped podcast app. But its new AirTags, which attach to items to help find them, was criticized by the C.E.O. of Tile, which makes a similar product. Apple also said it would roll out new iOS privacy features — criticized by Facebook and other app makers — next week. Understanding the ‘antimonopolist’ Lina Khan Lina Khan’s nomination to the Federal Trade Commission is one of the clearest signs of progressive influence in the Biden administration. A Columbia University scholar who worked on a major congressional report about Big Tech and antitrust last year, Ms. Khan is a star in the constellation of competition law experts known as “antimonopolists.” Her confirmation hearing with the Senate Commerce Committee is today. Ms. Khan “captures the zeitgeist,” Bruce Hoffman, a partner at Cleary Gottlieb and a former director of the F.T.C.’s competition bureau, told DealBook. She helped shape the legal and cultural conversation about the power of internet giants, which could win her some conservative support. Having a “strong” perspective probably isn’t an obstacle to confirmation, Mr. Hoffman said. “Antimonopoly is more than antitrust,” Ms. Khan wrote in 2018. It shifts away from a “consumer” take on mergers managed by antitrust agencies to a broader approach using “policy levers” across the government and keeps workers, voters, the environment and more in mind. Big Tech will be a likely focus at the hearing. But this would be a “disservice” to Ms. Khan, according to Mr. Hoffman. “At the F.T.C., a lot of the agenda is reactive,” he said. Companies file merger paperwork and regulators respond, whatever the industry. Ms. Khan has a broad perspective on competition law, Mr. Hoffman said, and today would be “a fair time” to ask what “objective standards” she’d apply. Updated  April 20, 2021, 10:50 p.m. ET “You have to have some morals.” — Ari Emanuel, the outspoken C.E.O. of the entertainment conglomerate Endeavor, speaking in a New Yorker profile about returning an investment from Saudi Arabia after the killing of Jamal Khashoggi. Separately, Endeavor disclosed yesterday that it hopes to be valued at more than $10 billion in an I.P.O. These ‘Roaring Twenties’ have railroad battles, too Canadian National Railway yesterday offered to buy Kansas City Southern for $33.7 billion, topping a $29 billion bid last month by its rival Canadian Pacific. They’re jockeying over the chance to create the first railroad connecting major ports from Canada to Mexico. The bidding war reflects bullishness about an industry poised for growth if a post-pandemic boom ushers in this generation’s “Roaring Twenties.” Money or certainty? Canadian National said its bid “clearly provides superior value.” Canadian Pacific, which is smaller and has less overlap with Kansas City Southern’s operations, said antitrust concerns made the counterbid “illusory and inferior.” Kansas City Southern said it would evaluate the new bid in accordance with its agreement with its original suitor. A curveball or a grenade? Canadian National may be bidding in earnest — or just disrupting its competitor’s deal. The new offer could raise anxieties about railroad consolidation, making regulators more cautious. The prospect of a deal has received a mixed reception from freight shippers, who suffered in the last round of consolidation. And we haven’t yet heard from Senator Amy Klobuchar, who heads the antitrust subcommittee and represents key industrial interests in Minnesota. Giving Coinbase a run for its (digital) money The public listing of Coinbase, the largest crypto exchange in the U.S., generated a wave of excitement that competitors aim to ride. Among them is Binance.US, the third-ranked domestic crypto exchange, which yesterday named Brian Brooks — formerly Coinbase’s chief counsel and most recently acting U.S. comptroller of the currency — as C.E.O., beginning in May. “There’s a lot of buzz about my former employer, which is well-deserved,” Mr. Brooks told DealBook about Coinbase. “But it’s in everybody’s best interest if there’s more competition.” Mr. Brooks’ first task is building trust with regulators. He says “managing reputation” is his biggest concern. Binance has shifted its operations throughout Asia since it was founded in 2017, and some say it played fast and loose with rules. The C.F.T.C. was reportedly investigating the company for allowing U.S.-based customers to trade crypto derivatives, which is banned (the agency declined to comment). Mr. Brooks insists he did “a lot” of due diligence on his new employer and dismisses “loose talk” about the exchange flouting regulations. Binance’s group C.E.O., CZ Zhao, says he embraces regulation. Hiring Mr. Brooks is one way the company is trying to make the point. Binance also hired Max Baucus, the former Montana senator and ambassador to China, last month, along with other former regulators. Binance.US sees potential to lead in undeveloped areas of the American crypto landscape, like derivatives and lending. Mr. Brooks said the company can learn from competitors like Coinbase and Kraken — and challenge them. That is, if he can convince regulators to bless its efforts to bring crypto into the financial mainstream, a preoccupation of players across the industry. JPMorgan wants to end banker burnout, for real this time Yesterday, JPMorgan Chase’s co-heads of investment banking, Jim Casey and Viswas Raghavan, announced policies aimed at improving working conditions amid record deal volume and banker burnout. The company has attempted similar things before. DealBook spoke with Mr. Casey about the latest plan — and whether this one will stick. JPMorgan has recently hired 65 analysts and 22 associates, and plans to add another 100 junior bankers and support staff, Mr. Casey said. It’s targeting bankers at rival firms, as well as lawyers and accountants interested in a career switch. The bank will tell associates not to do marketing work on weekends. It will encourage all bankers to go home by 7 p.m. on weekdays and add more flexibility for personal time. It will also force bankers to take at least three weeks’ vacation a year. JPMorgan rolled out similar efforts to protect junior bankers’ hours in 2016, but “it wasn’t stringently enforced,” Mr. Casey said. Why not? “Laziness.” This time, junior bankers’ hours and feedback will figure in senior manager performance evaluation and compensation. “It’s not a money problem,” Mr. Casey said, so there won’t be one-time checks or free Pelotons after a rush. Junior bankers will get their share of the record $3 billion in fees JPMorgan earned in the first quarter. Some things won’t change. Because banking is a client-service job, managers sometimes have limited control over workloads and hours. “You might do 100 deals a year, but that client only does one deal every three years,” Mr. Casey said. How the bank will measure success: “Ask me what our turnover ratio has gone to and I will tell you,” Mr. Casey said. The goal, he said, is “lower.” THE SPEED READ Deals Politics and policy Senator Bernie Sanders is co-sponsoring a bill that would impose a financial transaction tax on Wall Street to drastically expand tuition-free access to community colleges and trade schools. (CNBC) Twelve megadonors accounted for nearly $1 of every $13 raised by federal candidates and political groups since 2009, a new study found. (NYT) Tech Best of the rest The Sacklers, the family that founded the maker of OxyContin, are worth about $11 billion, according to documents released by a Congressional committee. (WSJ) “Behind the Mysterious Demise of a $1.7 Billion Mutual Fund.” (WSJ) Amazon is opening a hair salon in London. It isn’t called Prime Cuts. (WaPo) We’d like your feedback! Please email thoughts and suggestions to dealbook@nytimes.com. Source link Orbem News #businesses #Justice #standing

[madeleinejoanstars]

Daily #Tarot Reading for December 9: Knight of Cups Are you feeling #romantic, #dreamy, willing to be open and #vulnerable in order to get your message across? Or are you being approached by a "white knight" with such an #invitation? Perhaps even one on bended knee? Then you are swept off your feet by the sweet enthusiasm of the Knight of Cups. This card lacks the impatience of the Knight of Swords, the impetuousness of the Knight of Wands, and the steadiness of the Knight of Pentacles - the Knight of Cups prides himself on his role as the ideal romantic suitor, bearing gifts, and #deckedout in the best in order to win his lover's hand. This Knight of Cups is in touch with his #feelings and intuition - he's romantic, charming, and even poetic at times. He may demonstrate his devotion through silver-tongued speeches, art, or another form of creativity, and he's willing to bare it all in the name of love - or, in his negative aspect, the #fantasy of it. Knights are "young" in the Tarot, whatever the age of the person they may represent - they still have some maturing to do, and at his lowest, the Knight of Cups can get #moody, emotionally #unstable, lost in dreams or #regrets. But generally, the Knight of Cups represents an event in our lives, or a person, that invites us to open ourselves up to love, to possibility, and to courageously feeling the heights and depths that come with them. The Knight of Cups comes up when we are about to be taken on an emotional journey - we may be motivated by love, or inspired by #creativity, but we are certainly "moved," and feel the urge to put ourselves, and our most precious dreams, "out there." Go forth; make your offering... 💗🌊🎠💗🌊🎠💗🌊🎠💗🌊🎠💗🌊🎠 #tarotreader #tarotreading #witch #manifest #spiritual #knightinshiningarmor #whiteknight #proposal #engagement #romance #poetryinmotion #shadowscapes #soulpreneur #girlbossmagic #princecharming https://instagr.am/p/CIlha9DlViq/

[junker-town]

The 6 best NFL destinations for free agent Tom Brady

Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

It’s gonna be the Patriots, but here are the teams that will at least be in the running for Tom Brady.

Tom Brady has been a New England Patriot for the past 20 years. He may not stick around for a 21st.

The two-time MVP and six-time Super Bowl champion is set to hit free agency for the first time in his career. That means he could be the most sought-after player in the league, even if the Patriots are willing to throw upwards of $30 million annually to keep him in Foxborough.

If 2019 is any indication, 2020 Brady will be a slightly above-average passer who mostly avoids risks, beats the teams he’s supposed to, and wins games with a heavy assist from his defense. There’s a chance that could change with a better supporting cast. There’s a similar chance that, at age 43, his inevitable decline is finally upon him.

He’s made it clear there’s gas left in his tank, though. And it’s possible he spends 2020 somewhere other than New England. The Raiders are reportedly planning a dogged pursuit, and they may not even be a top-seven destination for his services.

So which teams could provide the softest landing spot? Let’s look at the early standouts, broken down by best fits for Touchdown Tom.

The best fit for Brady’s passing game (and Chris Ballard’s revenge): Indianapolis Colts

It’s not a perfect fit, but it makes some sense.

The Colts could give Brady an offensive line Pro Football Focus ranked third-best in the NFL. Jack Doyle won’t be confused for Rob Gronkowski, but he’s a Pro Bowl tight end with a 73.4 career catch percentage. Nyheim Hines, electric as a punt returner, has 107 catches in his two seasons as a situational back. When Brady looks to air it out, he’ll have T.Y. Hilton as his top option.

This would all be a delightful turn of events for Indianapolis general manager Chris Ballard. Back in February 2018, Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels agreed to become head coach of the Colts. But before he could sign that deal — and, famously, after the Colts had tweeted it out — McDaniels reneged on his agreement and decided to keep his old job in New England.

Convincing Brady to finish out his career wearing Peyton Manning’s old shoulder stripes would be a pretty good heckle on New England. It’s not completely out of the realm of possibility, either.

Indianapolis may be in the market for a quarterback. Jacoby Brissett struggled late in the season after suffering a knee injury in Week 8. That turned a 5-2 start into a 7-9 finish and a spot outside the playoffs.

Bringing Brady to the AFC South would also unite him with his former backups in Brissett and Brian Hoyer. The Colts have a limited receiving corps, but also have more than $86 million in salary cap space to spend this offseason. They could throw money at A.J. Green to join Hilton in an all-initials receiving corps or use their solid draft position to take a crack at one of the deepest influxes of wideout talent in years.

If Ballard wants to make Brady a priority, there’s a lot he could offer.

Chance it happens: 1/10

Indianapolis Colts QB Brady seems like the fastest way to piss off two different fanbases. It also sounds like a credible threat to force the Patriots into investing heavily in their veteran quarterback and his wide receivers and tight ends this spring.

The best team that can give him big-play wideouts: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Brady still wants to throw deep balls. The question is, should he? He’s only completed 37 percent of passes of at least 20+ yards over the last three seasons. While some of those incompletions can be explained away by an underwhelming receiving corps, the truth is that Brady misses a lot of deep throws.

He probably wouldn’t have anyone like Randy Moss or Gronkowski if he returned to the Patriots, but there’s one QB-needy team that can bolster him with a top wideout tandem. The Buccaneers are currently in the market for a quarterback with Jameis Winston set to hit free agency. A move to Tampa would pair Brady with field stretcher Mike Evans and budding star Chris Godwin, whose 1,333 receiving yards were third-most in the NFL in 2019.

These dynamos could help fill in the gap between any waning accuracy and Brady’s traditionally solid numbers. Instead of putting a ball in a tight window for Gronkowski to innately snatch, he could turn to the 6’5 Evans, who is similarly masterful at using his size and length to shield the ball from defensive backs. If he needs a sure-handed target at the sticks on third down, he’d have Godwin, who dropped just one of the 88 catchable passes thrown his way.

The Buccaneers operate behind an explosive passing game and a head coach (Bruce Arians) known for getting the most out of his quarterbacks. Brady would provide Tampa Bay with a prolific, if diminished, passer who can show what the Bucs are capable of behind a quarterback who doesn’t turn the ball over twice per game.

Chance it happens: 2/10

Brady would get two good receivers and a coach who could help restore his brilliance in Tampa. He’d also have a defense that ranked 29th in points allowed thanks to an awful turnover differential but fifth in Football Outsiders’ defensive efficiency metric. Factor in nearly $85 million in cap space this offseason and there’s a lot to like from Brady’s vantage point. As far as suitors go, though, the Bucs may not measure up.

The best team to offer him something he truly hasn’t had: Carolina Panthers

David Tepper assumed ownership of the Panthers in 2018 and oversaw a quiet transition ... until 2019. That’s when he fired longtime head coach Ron Rivera, released veteran tight end Greg Olsen, and threw oodles of money at college sideline standouts Matt Rhule and Joe Brady.

Tepper’s next splash could be to hire a man whose work he knows well. As a native of Pittsburgh and former minority owner of the Steelers, Tepper’s seen the Patriots end his hometown team’s postseason hopes in the AFC title game three separate times. Transplanting Brady from New England to Carolina would be his biggest move yet.

The main factor that could swing Brady south — besides a big chunk of cash made possible by the $20 million in salary cap savings the Panthers would gain by releasing Cam Newton — would be Christian McCaffrey. The All-Pro runner/receiver would be the most complete tailback Brady’s ever played with in his 20+ years in the NFL.

McCaffrey is James White and an upgraded rookie-year Sony Michel all in one. Having him on the field for all three downs would create a new level of flexibility to the QB’s playbook, and his play-action passing would branch out into more options than ever before.

Chance it happens: 2/10

The Panthers’ offensive line and its 8.4 percent sack rate aren’t exactly conducive to a 43-year-old quarterback. Carolina would have to make other upgrades to make Charlotte one of Brady’s preferred destinations.

The best place to take one more swipe at Philip Rivers’ legacy: Los Angeles Chargers

Rivers saw his season end thanks to Brady’s Patriots three times in his 16 seasons. He and the Chargers parted ways before the 17th.

Brady could take the reins for a team just one year removed from a 12-win season. He’d have one of the league’s top receiving backs should the club retain restricted free agent Austin Ekeler, as well as a dynamite deep threat in Keenan Allen. The Chargers could also use the franchise tag to keep tight end Hunter Henry in town to be Gronk Lite for the quadragenarian QB. While Los Angeles’ offensive line hasn’t earned much hype, it allowed Rivers — a player roughly as mobile as Brady — to be sacked on just 5.4 percent of his dropbacks in 2019.

A move across the AFC wouldn’t just give the Chargers a headliner to open their new, shared stadium in LA. It would also bring Brady back to his California roots. He grew up in San Mateo, some 360 miles north of Los Angeles, but Hollywood could make a lot of sense for the world’s most recognizable football player, his supermodel wife, and the children he threw into a Facebook reality show in 2018.

Actually, you know what? Hold that thought.

Chance it happens: 3/10

This feels less dirty than seeing Brady in a Colts helmet, but the Chargers’ limited defense and recent failures could be a problem.

The best hometown option: San Francisco 49ers

If general manager John Lynch thinks he’s seen the best of Jimmy Garoppolo already, he can trade away his quarterback while eating just $4.2 million in dead cap space this offseason. That would clear more than $22 million in room to bring Brady to the franchise he grew up cheering for. Want to get weird? THIS would be weird.

And probably pretty stupid from the Niners.

Chance it happens: 0.25/10

Garoppolo was 10 minutes away from a Super Bowl MVP. Brady is no guaranteed upgrade at age 43. This would be one hell of a swing from Lynch, who has mostly made the right moves after graduating to the Niners’ front office in 2017. There’s almost no way this happens, but dear god, imagine if it did.

The best fit because, come on, what are we even doing here?: New England Patriots

The storybook ending is for Bill Belichick and Brady to go out together, holding ring-clad hands (metaphorically) and turning into the sunset. That’s always been the plan.

If New England is willing to pay, free agency should just be a formality for Brady — a brief Rumspringa before returning to his hardworking, strawberry-free roots. Here’s what the Patriots can offer him:

his best shot at winning a Super Bowl in 2021

the best head coach in the game

an offensive line that’s allowed him to be sacked only 49 times the past two seasons (36 games, including the playoffs) — and one that should get center David Andrews back in the lineup after missing all of 2019 due to blood clots

the league’s top defense, even if several key pieces (Kyle Van Noy, Devin McCourty, etc.) are set to be free agents

the chance to finish out his career having played for only one NFL franchise.

Re-signing Brady may make it difficult to carve out the room needed to get receiver and tight end help, but that group could be improved with the growth of 2019 first-round pick N’Keal Harry and midseason addition Mohamed Sanu’s increased familiarity with the Patriot offense. But Brady returning to New England might not be such a sure thing after all. A couple reports from Feb. 27 suggested that him going elsewhere seems a bit more likely. Via Pats Pulpit:

First, ESPN’s Jeff Darlington said that he “would be stunned if Tom Brady went back to New England” during an appearance on his network’s show Get Up. A short time later, the Boston Herald’s Karen Guregian added that the Patriots and Brady’s camp have not yet been in contact and that the odds of a contract extension materializing are “‘not looking good,’ according to a person with knowledge of the situation.”

Still, there’s a long way to go with these negotiations, so it’s probably best to take that with a grain of salt. Even if there are still plenty of questions to answer in New England, there’s a lot the Pats have going for them that other teams do not.

Chance it happens: 8/10

There’s only one place Brady belongs, and it’s in the warm, Twisted Tea-smelling bosom of screaming Boston fans.

[ylc1]

Fanfic Master List

Time to update my Master List once more! I do write a lot and inspiration insists on stricking me regardless of how many WIPs I have so… well.

Without further ado, enjoy!

Long term complications of arranged marriages

Myjohnlock, complete, 78800 words.

Summary: Originally, Mummy Holmes wanted to arrange a marriage for her younger son, not wanting him to be lonely. When Sherlock refused, Mycroft agreed to step in, which ended up with him marrying John Watson. Things worked well between them- until John met his brother-in-law.

Some personal notes on it: My first work for the fandom and I’m so ridiculously proud of it. I never actually intended for it to end the way it did, but boy was it a fun ride!

Additional notes: quite a lot of angst/hurt, conflicted feelings, more or less canon compliant. Ends more hopeful than happy.

Burned hearts

Johnlock, complete, 7300 words.

Summary: A retell from the scene at the pool in TGG, in which John is never revealed to be Moriarty’s hostage. Believing himself fooled, Sherlock goes through a bit of a meltdown.

Some personal notes on it: this idea came to me when I first watched TGG. I think that I could have expanded it so much more and make it even more angsty but well… I still like it.

Additional notes: angst, lots of self doubt, Sherlock doesn’t cope well, Mycroft and Greg are very concerned.

Pointless thoughts

Mystrade & Johnlock. First work of series, 10 works in the series, 102800 words overall. Complete.

Summary: Crown Prince Mycroft knows better than to show his affection for a man beneath his station. Sherlock is not quite as lucky and when the King finds out about his friendship with John, the later is sent away to his certain death. Devastated, the younger Prince awaits for death- until he finds he has something left to fight for and Mycroft finds himself fighting to protect his brother’s secret (and later his own)

Some personal notes: Pseudo historical settings are a weakness of mine. I was very pump up to work on these series and I enjoyed every second of it. Also, writing a whole fic from Mycroft’s POV was quite the experience (the main fic runs from his POV, the rest of the works run from Greg’s, Sherlock’s and John’s)

Additional notes: Royal AU, A/B/O dynamics, Mpreg and angst. Also a ridiculous amount of pining. Warnings for some dubcon in some of the works and a bit of Sheriarty.

Crush

Johncroft & Sherstrade, complete, 20000 words.

Summary: Sherlock has been nursing a crush on DI Greg Lestrade since they met. Of course the poor man has no clue whatsoever and somehow his newest friend, John Watson is stuck with the task of helping him win the other man over, all while attempting to deal with his own crush on the older Holmes.

Some personal notes: I started working on this in an attempt to get myself to work on the continuation of “Long term complications of arranged marriages”. Also, an attempt of humor, although I’m not sure how well it worked out.

Additional notes: attempted humor, silly situations, bit of rom com and perhaps a tad of angst here and there. Sort of canon compliant (if you ignore S3)

Apples and Oranges

Johnlock, complete, 600 words.

Summary: Kid Sherlock is attempting to figure out why would people like kissing. John helps.

Some personal notes: this was a fill in for a tumblr prompt. Just some kidlock fluff.

Additional notes: AU, kidlock, fluff.

Unexpected

Johnlock (side Mystrade and Irene/Kate), complete, 27600 words.

Summary: After a one night stand with his best friend, John is determined not to let things change between them. Except he’s now expecting a baby and finds himself in a bit of a mess.

Some personal notes: I mean- it’s the cliché of the clichés. Very rom com, but well… I enjoyed working on it very much.

Additional notes: A/B/O dynamics, Mpreg, attempted humor, rom com, misunderstandings, unplanned pregnancy, angst.

Unforeseen

Mystrade (side Johnlock), complete, 11500 words.

Summary: Mycroft’s family is convinced he and Greg would make a wonderful couple. Greg is willing, but Mycroft refuses to see sense.

Some personal notes: belongs in series with “Unexpected”, but it can pretty much stand on its own. A continuation of sorts, although the focus is definitely Greg’s and Mycroft’s relationship.

Additional notes: A/B/O dynamics, misunderstandings, humor & angst.

Long shot

Johnlock, complete, 44200 words.

Summary: Omega werewolf Sherlock is engaged to human Prince John, after having scared off his last suitor. It seems it might work out for the best though- at least until the Dark and Immortal Wizard Moriarty rises again.

Some personal notes: when I write original fiction, I tend towards fantasy with a mix of romance. Indulging in my love for both genres was a joy. Also, this was my work with most kudos for a long while, so I guess it shows ;)

Additional notes: A/B/O dynamics, Mpreg, arranged marriage, angst, pining, misunderstandings, Jim being Jim (he’s the perfect fairytale villain, honestly)

Wildest dreams

Johnlock (although victorian), complete, 3800 words.

Summary: Watson puts an end to his relationship with Holmes, in order to marry Mary Morstan.

Some personal notes: have I told you how I love Taylor Swift’s songs? I had been trying to avoid writing this particular fic because I worried about my abilities to write something with such a strict historical setting, but I should probably have stopped listening to the song because it soon became too much :P

Additional notes: victorian (but a bit loosely I think), angst, pining, unhealthy coping mechanisms… HAPPY ENDING

Mistaken impressions

Johnlock, WIP (on hiatus?)

Summary: John is convinced his neighbor’s boyfriend is a jerk. He sort of is, but he’s actually Sherlock’s brother.

Some personal notes: I liked this idea, but as I started writing… I lost my way a bit. So now I’m a bit stuck with is, since I have no idea where exactly I want to go with it.

Additional notes: references to past abusive relationships, past drug addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, angst, drama, pining, MISUNDERSTANDINGS and some attempts of humor.

Hopeless

Johnlock, complete, 45800 words.

Summary: John’s a slave in Lord Magnussen’s household. When a new slave arrives and the Master takes a fancy on her (although it’s really him), John finds himself doing the best he can to protect him.

Some personal notes: this idea came to me in a dream. Which is why it’s far darker than my usual writings and also the reason for Trans Sherlock. I don’t like fighting my inspiration and well… I went with it, even if it added another layer of complications to this particular fic.

Additional notes: trans character, misgendering, implied/referenced noncon (although there’s nothing explicit), underage (it’s never explicitly stated, but Sherlock is 14 when the fic starts), slavery, sexual slavery, very dark, very angsty, mentions of violence, murder and abuse. It has a happy/hopeful ending, though!

Home for Christmas

Johnlock, complete, 8500 words.

Summary: When Mycroft Holmes informs his family he’s bringing along a friend for Christmas, the household is thrown into utter chaos: Mummy Holmes is delighted, of course and Mr. Holmes is just baffled. Sherlock, however, is determined to figure out what is his brother up to. Mycroft doesn’t do friendships, let alone relationships, so who is this mysterious Dr. John H. Watson and what’s his business with his brother?

Some personal notes: this is the actual summary on AO3, but I really don’t know a better way to describe it ;) I think my attempt of humor did work here, even if it endeded up including a bit of angst (but not much)

Additional notes: Alternate First Meeting, humor, Christmas fic, misunderstandings (of a sort), family.

Black magic

Johnlock, complete, 7400 words.

Summary: John ends up with a magic love potion (he was drunk, don’t judge him!) and in a fit of desperate longing, he gives it to Sherlock. He didn’t expect it to work since magic does not exist, so he’s a little baffled when Sherlock starts acting weirdly.

Some personal notes: this was the first fic I meant to write for the fandom. I never got around finishing until now, when I figured I might as well give it another try. I think it could have been longer, but I had no idea what else to write :P

Additional notes: attempt of humor, magic, a surprising amount of discussion of consent issues, not actually unrequited love.

Lessons in romance

Mystrade & Johnlock, 49300 words.

Summary: Sherlock may or may not be stalking the boy he likes. Mycroft has no wisdom to share with his little brother on the subject of romance and Greg is not helping at all.

Some personal notes: I got inspired to write this after listening to a song in spanish called “Rey Azul”. I’ve always wanted to write a teenlock and I adore writing the Holmes brothers as being completely oblivious on the subject of romance. Somehow, it turned angstier than I expected. My only work with over 500 kudos, which makes me ridiculously happy, obviously.

Additional notes: humor (at first), teenlock, heartbreak, jealousy, pining, bad family relationships.

All is fair (in love and war)

Johnlock, complete, 6300 words.

Summary: Eurus’ “game” forces John and Sherlock to confess long hidden feelings. It turns out as well as you’d expect.

Some personal notes: It started as a rewrite of the “I love you” scene in TFP, turned into a sort of fix it fic. I like it, even if I’m not completely sure the logic holds :P

Additional notes: angst, drama, hurt without comfort, but has a happy ending!

Priceless   

Johnlock, WIP.

Summary: Sherlock is a Prince with a Kingdom at war. He makes a deal with the all powerful wizard called “the Dark One”; the wizard will stop the war if Sherlock stays with him forever.

Some personal notes: this fic is result of the FandomTrumpsHate auction, for the lovely @sherlock-and-john-getting-it-on​. I was asked for a “Beauty and the Beast” inspired fic with John as the Beast. I asked for the chance to use the Once Upon a Time spin of the tale and this is the result.

Additional notes: magical AU, pining, misunderstandings (they’re both so silly it hurts!), includes my attempt of some proper smut, Jim wrote himself into it and in doing that provided me with an ending :P

Of love, madness and other powerful motivators

Some background Johnlock, Warstan, but relationships aren’t the focus. WIP (on hiatus).

Summary: Jim shoots himself at Bart’s ceiling and Sherlock jumps to save the people he loves (read John Watson); what he doesn’t know is that there are other forces at play and revenge is a dish best served cold. Jim’s turn has ended, but Eurus’ is just beginning.

Some personal notes: after reading many wonderful posts after the S4 finale, one point that really stuck me was about badly written female characters. It made me realize I don’t write that many female characters either and I don’t know if I’m any good at it so… this was born. Running with the idea that Mary worked for Jim, and (in this fic at least) by extension, Eurus.

Additional notes: angst, complicated relationships, mixed feelings, Eurus is actually out for revenge, imagining a whole alternate line for S4.

Saving all my love for you

Johnlock, WIP (on hiatus).

Summary: Unrequited love is no fun.

Some personal notes: I just wanted to write something angsty, heart tugging. There isn’t much plot, really, just a lot of pining and self reflection.

Additional notes: based on the song by the same title,angst, pining, sad, unilock.

Little lies and crazy plans

Mystrade & Johnlock, complete, 12300 words.

Summary: Sherlock recruits Greg’s help to seduce his brother away so he can have his boyfriend. But nothing is quite what it seems.

Some personal notes: A short silly story with a fake/pretend relationship that occurred to me because I re-read my own fic, “Long term complications of arranged marriages” and wanted to write some Johncroft with Johnlock but I couldn’t bring myself to make it angsty (again)

Additional notes: humor, alternate first meeting, fake/pretend relationship (John & Mycroft), jealousy, pining.

The art of letting go 

Johnlock, complete, 47400 words.

Summary: Sherlock convinces himself that if he can’t remember what happened on the stag night, then it didn’t happen at all. Until he finds out he’s pregnant and he can’t keep pretending, that is.

Some personal notes: Oh, I loved working on this. I have a thing for unplanned pregnancies (as you can probably tell) and while writing a character as trans always makes me nervous, I thought it worked well. The story is very angsty at points and it doesn’t get hopeful until the very end so… be warned!

Additional notes: Trans character, Mpreg, angst (a lot), jealousy, pining, Mary and John are married but she isn’t pregnant, pos TSoT, follows HLV more or less.

Baby, don't call me your friend

Mollrene, side Johnlock, WIP.

Summary: Irene watches John and Sherlock dance around each other while she avoids thinking of her own crush on her friend Molly.

Some personal notes: Another idea that came to me through music… I like it, but I’m not quite sure where it is going :P

Additional notes: alternate universe-high school, jealousy, pining, humor.

There’s always time for love (even at the end of the world)   

 Johnlock (1st chapter), Mollrene (2nd chapter), complete, 3700 words

Summary: In the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse, John and Sherlock run into Dr. Irene Adler while on a supply run.

Some personal notes: My daughter ADORES zombie movies, which translates on me having watched almost every single one on netflix. So of course inspiration struck.

Additional notes: alternate universe-zombie apocalypse, referenced past character death (that’s one hell of a downside with zombie apocalypses), jealousy, romance

Dutifulness

Mystrade, WIP.

Summary: As the clan’s Heir, Mycroft is expected to choose an appropriate Mate.

But the one he would willingly choose is far from appropriate.

Some personal notes: this one belongs in series with “Long shot”. I always intended to include some Mystrade there, but it didn’t quite work out and well… I finally got around writing this companion piece that stands well on its own.

Additional notes: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, class differences (somewhat), pining, light angst.

Bad timing 

Johnlock, side Mystrade, WIP

Summary:Having run away from home after finding out his family was planning on sending him as a tribute to the Fire Lord, Sherlock somehow finds himself joining the rebellion.

Some personal notes: this one is a submission for the June’s hiatustory challenge. Also, I had been wanting to write an Avatar AU, so it seemed like the perfect chance ;)

Additional notes: alternate universe-avatar and bender’s setting, pining, jealousy, secret identity, romance.

A fortunate encounter

Johnlock, complete, 3300 words.

Summary:While escaping a group of enemy soldiers, Sherlock ends up in a mysterious island.

Some personal notes: after watching the Wonder Woman movie I couldn’t contain myself and ended up writing this short thing ;)

Additional notes: Wonder Woman AU, love at first sight, spoilers for the movie (somewhat, but not really), romance.

And that’s it for now! I hope you’ll enjoy them and if you could reblog this to share with your followers I’d be most thankful! :D

Also, if you enjoy my works and have any money to spare, I could really use help to pay my graduation fees, so you could Buy Me a Coffee

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Your Romantic 'Type' Based on Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

How to pick the perfect partner based on your Myers-Briggs personality type. (Photo: Getty Images)

What’s the best part about love and relationships? That’s a seriously tough call. But the beautiful thing is, absolutely everyone is drawn to something different; which means there’s a match out there for every person.

Most of us have at least a vague “type,” uniquely tailored to our individual personalities and what we value in relationships. If you haven’t determined what the common thread is among your exes and crushes, it’s highly possibly that your Myers-Briggs personality type can help determine that for you. For a quick refresher, your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an assessment that is meant to break down your psychological preferences and how you make decisions. It tells you your penchant for Extraversion or Introversion (E or I); Sensing or Intuition (S or N); Thinking of Feeling (T or F); and Judging or Perceiving (J or P). If you don’t know your MBTI you can take the test here. If you do know your MBTI then find yours below, and discover the type of partner with whom you should be spending your life.

ENTJ Your type: As the “ruthless commander” of the MBTI, ENTJs know exactly what they’re looking for in terms of raw partner criteria. Your match must be highly intelligent, competent, individualistic, and loyal. They also have to enjoy the finer tastes in life, and be able to work a room with relative ease. If a person you spot has all of those qualities, you tend to believe you can make a relationship happen by sheer force of will.

Don’t forget: Listen to your feelings, even though you’d rather make decisions with your head; emotions tell us when relationships are right and wrong. Love isn’t always as logical as you make it out to be.

INTJ Your type: The mysterious and smart type, INTJs are looking for someone who shares a thirst for knowledge and theoretical conversations. Since you’re engrossed in your work for long stretches of time, you’re attracted to independence and self-sufficiency. You date with an eye toward the future, meaning you won’t enter a relationship unless you can see it working out long-term, so having compatible values and interests is a must.

Don’t forget: You gotta try things out sometimes. All your theories might work in your head, but fail to pan out IRL. The unexpected choice may work better than you realize, and show you hidden sides over time.

INFJ Your type: INFJs are notoriously picky, mostly because they know exactly what they want: Someone who makes them feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe. This sounds simple on the surface, but it isn’t for you. Not only are you a brilliant, deep, and complex person, but you regularly feel like others don’t “get” you the way that you get them.

Don’t forget: Your ultimate goal in a relationship is to feel appreciated and understood. Since you’re not always in tune with exactly how you’re feeling on an emotional level, let your intuition be your guide.

INFP Your type: INFPs lead with their feelings first, and have extremely specific tastes: You love people who are authentic and novel, who aren’t afraid to follow their dreams or travel to remote locations at the drop of a hat. You’re also highly sensitive, and need someone who won’t break your spirit or abuse your kindness.

Don’t forget: You tend to romanticize and idealize partners. Make sure you aren’t projecting qualities and narratives onto a prospective partner, just because you want it to work. Check them out, warts and all, so you can really determine compatibility.

ENFP Your type: ENFPs are social butterflies who pride themselves on their uniqueness and charm. You also aren’t afraid to spend time cracking open the toughest nuts, which is why you love prospects that present as mysterious and brooding. You need to be constantly intrigued, and are drawn to people who reveal flashes of hidden depth behind a controlled surface.

Don’t forget: Sometimes, you imagine mysterious prospects might be incredible (compatible! fascinating!) creatures, but they aren’t actually “all that.” Interesting partners, who you can take at face value, might be a better match long-term.

ENFJ Your type: ENFJs tend to like dreamy, romantic types, because they think relationships and people make the world go ‘round. You also know you’re an amazing partner for the right person. Sometimes, you can be drawn to those flawed, diamond-in-the-rough types, because you recognize the potential in so many people. You’re incredibly accommodating and have the vision to see what you could be together.

Don’t forget: A relationship is a two-way street. While you’re busy caring and working on the relationship, remember to open up about your unmet needs. There’s also only so much you can “fix” before you’re simply not compatible — or before you’ll break down emotionally.

ENTP Your type: The term “heartbreaker” was basically invented for ENTPs. You’re drawn to the quiet, soft-hearted ones, who might seem like the most impossibly shy challenges at first — but your charm can usually break down their walls. Unfortunately, immature ENTPs go for anyone who intrigues them, but exit as soon as they get bored.

Don’t forget: You fall often, just not hard, so slow your roll and seek deeper connection. Lasting desire, based on real compatibility, will grow over weeks and months. Try waiting before launching into your typical chase — if your ultimate goal is to find that one person who endlessly intrigues you with smarts and substance.

INTP Your type: INTPs are often drawn to types who they see as intellectual equals and true partners. You hate drama, and don’t typically go for anyone who’s overly emotional or “creates problems” instead of solves them. You love someone who’s interesting, well-rounded, independent, and shares your offbeat sense of humor.

Don’t forget: Feelings do matter. Although your best match is probably someone with whom you can explore and debate, few people have skin as thick (or as logical) as yours.

ISTJ Your type: ISTJs are not flashy, and their type typically isn’t either. You tend to err on the traditional side, so shared values are a must. You’re often found with the wholesome, good-hearted and even-keeled ones, who also have an eye toward long-term commitment. (Anything else would not make sense to you!)

Don’t forget: You can’t always judge a book by its cover. You can often pigeon-hole someone too quickly in an attempt to filter efficiently, but you might have it all wrong. At least wait a few dates before you make a final call.

ESTJ Your type: ESTJs are hard-working, ambitious, goal-oriented types, so their romantic type is sort of an escape from the typical mayhem of their everyday life (career included). You’re likely most drawn to those who help you detach and unwind, through shared interests or a hidden thirst for adventures.

Don’t forget: You need someone who’s more apt to go with the flow than take the lead, but who will also stand up to you when it counts. Yes, you like to be in charge — but you need a partner whose opinion you completely trust and respect, not a pushover.

ESTP Your type: ESTPs are the ultra-bright flames, and all suitors are simply moths. While you probably like to flirt and charm just about anyone, the one you really notice is usually just slightly out of reach and very hard to get. There’s nothing more attractive to you than the seemingly unobtainable.

Don’t forget: While the chase might be fun, you’ll get bored with a hard-to-get person if you have nothing in common when you finally lock it down. Make sure that, as you’re winning over that prospect, you’re determining if you’re actually compatible along the way.

ISTP Your type: The laid-back renegades of the MBTI, ISTPs aren’t going to be nailed down often. If someone does catch your eye, that’s likely because they’re crazy-independent, able to go with the flow, and like to do the same activities. Your guy or gal is likely someone who would be totally down for a spontaneous trip to Europe, or a two-week ski vacation.

Don’t forget: Relationships aren’t always stressful commitments, so don’t be afraid to give it a shot if you find someone with whom you have a lot in common. You tend to loathe anything that will tie you down, but the right relationship (for you) won’t feel that way.

ISFJ Your type: Love and lust might be thrill rides for some, but ISFJs tend to value tenets of relationship stability like trust, honesty, respect, and open communication. In terms of your “type,” you’re a romantic to the core, but really want to be pursued by someone bold. You’re just a little too shy to share your feelings first.

Don’t forget: Although you typically know what you feel and are wired toward commitment, most others don’t get there as quickly. Enjoy the ride of dating; it’s fun, too!

ISFP Your type: Artistic and free-flowing, ISFPs have big hearts and creative minds — and you love when someone actually notices all the joy you bring to the table. Love is a crazy, unpredictable adventure, and you’re not afraid to dive in head-first. As long as a potential partner is not too controlling and appreciates your reserved side, you could gladly fall in love forever.

Don’t forget: You’re sensitive, but can be a bit passive when it comes to your relationships, often bottling up feelings instead of voicing them. Stand up for yourself and your thoughts. If you can’t, you’re not with the right person.

ESFP Your type: ESFPs are fairly obsessed with enjoying life and live almost entirely in the moment, so you’re looking for someone who’s always down for a good time. (Stick-in-the-muds and serious types need not apply!) You want someone with whom you can laugh about memes and funny stories, who will also let you keep your options open. Why plan for tomorrow when you can live well right now?

Don’t forget: You can be stubborn and dig in your heels if you feel like someone is trying to rein you in. Remember, sometimes balance is good — and you really do need a romantic partner who reminds you when to be serious (you know, occasionally).

ESFJ Your type: If there was ever a personality tailor-made for nurturing with an enthusiastic spirit, it was ESFJ. Ultimately, you just want someone to respect your caring side and really appreciate the awesome qualities you bring to the table — whether that’s mastering a new cake recipe or organizing the best charity event ever. You’re really not that complicated!

Don’t forget: You tend to put others first, and that can also be true when you’re dating and building relationships. You can get so set on a goal (often: a relationship) that you forget to see if you’re truly compatible, or if the person is treating you well. Occasionally, take a step back, be a bit more objective to see if things are really working.

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Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day. For Twitter updates, follow @YahooStyle and@YahooBeauty.

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Sentenced to 15 months for a crime committed in her youth, Piper Chapman leaves her supportive fiancé Larry for her new home: a women's prison.

After insulting the food in front of the prison chef, Piper is starved out by the kitchen staff and struggles to offer up an acceptable apology.

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Red's scheme to reclaim her kitchen backfires; the inmates stage a Christmas pageant; Piper's plans unravel even as she realizes her life is in jeopardy.

Piper's world is turned upside down when she’s forced to confront the consequences of her actions and face new challenges.

A mock Job Fair provides Taystee with a chance to show off her business smarts; Red feels isolated from her prison family.

Piper finds new arrival Soso a challenge; Morello gets her heart broken; a figure from Taystee’s past arrives to disturb the status quo.

Sophia gives the women a much-needed lesson in the female anatomy; Morello takes a detour; Larry makes some life changes. The king of fighters 99 android apk download.

A bathroom turf war sees deeper lines drawn in the sand as Gloria and Vee go head to head. Piper receives devastating news.

Love is in the air as the inmates prepare for a Valentine's Day party; Red makes an intriguing new discovery. Larry asks Piper to be his prison mole.

Piper starts a prison newsletter with the help of Healy and a few other inmates; Vee launches an entrepreneurial enterprise.

Piper faces a new backlash over special privileges; Caputo feels pressure to toughen up, resulting in administrative changes.

Piper's relationship with Larry faces a real-world test; Red's effort to redeem herself is finally rewarded. A familiar figure returns to Litchfield.

The guards get tougher in a bid to turn up prison contraband; a big, lingering secret is finally revealed.

Piper is shocked at an unexpected change in her status; Soso’s hunger strike attracts new support that takes on a religious fervor.

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Several futures hang in the balance as the inmates face and confront their worst nightmares: Life will never be the same again.

Caputo's kinder, gentler new regime includes organizing a Mother's Day fair for the inmates that brings up a LOT of mixed feelings about family.

Tempers flare when bed bugs invade, as Alex cracks, Red lashes out at Piper, Aleida interferes with Daya and Bennett, and Caputo gets bad news.

Nicky's stash situation gets complicated. Alex and Crazy Eyes try a new drama class. Red assists Healy with a personal matter.

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Big Boo comes up with a scheme to make money. Daya, Taystee and Crazy Eyes confront reality. Caputo tries to make a good impression on some visitors.

Rumors fly among the inmates about a new, higher-paying job assignment, especially when they have to take a test for it.

Regime change isn't going over well with the staff, but Red makes it work for her. Lorna finds a way to meet men. Chang shows her private side.

Norma’s healing powers draw more believers. Piper creates a new business venture. Caputo breaks in the new hires.

Piper gets creative in order to grow her business. Crazy Eyes’s sci-fi sex story for drama class is a hit. Alex doesn’t trust new inmate Lolly.

Too many inmates seem to be getting religion, so a rabbi comes to visit and Leanne tries to organize Norma's followers.

Pennsatucky, Piper, Crazy Eyes and Lorna get closer with their new admirers. Tensions between Sophia and Gloria, and Alex and Lolly escalate.

Caputo and Piper confront labor issues. A miracle occurs in Norma's group. Crazy Eyes's erotica winds up in the hands of the staff.

Daya goes into labor. Sophia suffers a hate crime. Stella helps Piper with a business snag. Taystee takes on a new role.

Miracles and conversions occur, but Piper and Caputo know that some situations can't be dealt with through spiritual means.

With a major security breach and a lot of new inmates, Caputo has to call in the big guns. Things get a little too real for Crazy Eyes and Lolly.

The newcomers stir up ethnic and domestic conflicts, but Maria sees an opportunity. Judy's special treatment raises eyebrows.

A new job puts Taystee close to Caputo. Lorna has to get creative in her marriage. Soso and Poussey deal with some awkward truths.

Nothing stays hidden for long when emotions run high, but Red, Healy and Caputo try to keep the peace. Piper has a business competitor.

Company policies lead to a shortage of critical supplies and an eventful trip to a prison convention. Piscatella starts a new anti-gang initiative.

Piper's plan to edge out the competition could backfire badly. Cindy finds a way to make Taystee's job pay off. Luschek gets some interesting mail.

Paranoia strikes deep for Lolly and Judy, aggravating an already tense situation. Red sticks to a Russian tradition for an important occasion.

A new work detail doesn't go over well with the inmates. Judy seeks help from Poussey. Maria finds a place she can conduct business.

Ramos and Flores figure out ways to rebel against authority. A news item has an unexpected effect. Red and Lorna face personal disappointment.

The movie night selection becomes controversial. Aleida makes an adjustment. Piper worries the prison punishments are getting too medieval.

Caputo's leadership is challenged and the inmates are in for a long night of lockdown after workers make an unsettling discovery.

Alliances shift among the prison 'families' as Piscatella and his guards crack down. Poussey, Judy and Alex prefer to look ahead to the future.

Corporate bureaucracy and simmering anger work against Caputo's efforts to keep a sensitive situation under control.

As the standoff at the prison spirals into a full-blown riot, enterprising inmates take advantage of the confusion. Taystee confronts Caputo.

Maria convenes a special assembly in the chapel as the inmates plot their next move. Frieda makes use of the survival skills she learned as a kid.

Linda begins to see the prison in a new light, while Judy grows desperate to escape. With darkness falling, the inmates compile a list of demands.

Red and Blanca dig for dirt on Piscatella. Suzanne conducts a séance. The guards show off their talents for 'Litchfield Idol' judges Leanne and Angie.

When the inmates' antics make the morning news, Flaca and Maritza soak up the spotlight. Brandy and her crew auction off Judy to the highest bidder.

Boo defends Doggett, Janae consoles Soso, and Lorna comes on to Nicky. While Alex lays low in the yard, Piper decides to take a stand.

Black Cindy concocts a scheme to distract Suzanne when she spirals out of control. Taystee and Piper search for ways to honor Poussey's memory.

While Taystee sits down with a negotiator, Red and Blanca put their own plan into action. Gloria counsels Daya and asks Caputo for a favor.

Red senses trouble, but the others are convinced she's just paranoid. Taystee and Black Cindy enlist an unlikely ally, and two old friends clash.

Taystee tries to keep the negotiations on track. Angie comes up with an idea for fixing Leanne's finger. Piscatella's past is revealed.

Red and the others weigh their options. Gloria wrestles with her conscience as she moves forward with a plan. Lorna takes over the pharmacy.

Boo dabbles in blackmail, Nicky promises to help Lorna, Doggett makes a discovery, and Piper comes to a realization about Alex.

As chaos descends on Litchfield three days into the riot, the inmates wonder what the future holds and seek solace in loved ones.

The COs at Litchfield's maximum security unit size up the new arrivals. Off her medication, Suzanne hallucinates.

Ordered to hand out harsh sentences, the feds search for scapegoats. Languishing on paid suspension, Caputo tries to break out of a rut.

Linda makes a power play, Piper digs for information about Alex, and the women get their first taste of a decades-old feud between cellblocks.

Aleida struggles to find work on the outside. Backed into a corner, Nicky pleads her case to Red. Taystee reaches out to Caputo for help.

Pranksters wreak havoc on Halloween. Luschek earns points with the other guards. As Linda faces a crisis, Donuts and Pennsatucky have a change of plans.

While Daddy deals with backlash, Badison plots revenge. Flaca finds a co-host for her radio show. Lorna discovers that pregnancy has its perks.

Badison hustles to get back in Carol's good graces. Blanca longs to get pregnant -- and Nicky has a plan. Caputo and Figueroa's relationship evolves.

Taystee gets fan mail -- and an assist from an old friend. Piper lobbies Luschek to bring back kickball. Aleida tries out a new sales tactic.

While Daddy buys time with Barb, Daya looks for new ways to bring in oxy. Black Cindy's guilt takes a toll on her body. Red acquires a powerful ally.

Aleida seizes a business opportunity. An anonymous tip sends Caputo on a stakeout. Luschek tries to help Gloria, who worries she's in danger.

While Red and Carol scheme against Frieda, Suzanne watches Frieda's back. Lorna swears her allegiance to Barb as Nicky works to thwart another plot.

Carol and Barb prepare for war. Linda auditions inmates for a prison PR video. Alex makes a deal with Badison to keep Piper out of trouble.

Piper gets surprising news and a boost from her friends. The jury returns with a verdict, and the big kickball game is on.

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