#may it have two or even better three beautiful seasons to fit all the major arcs in and then end beautifully on its own terms UoU

[splickedylit]

Definitely unfortunate that anime-only Dungeon Meshi watchers will probably not have a chance to see the graph of the whole party swapped to different races partially because human Chilchuck's instant five o'clock stubble is hilarious but also because

halfling Senshi

(EDIT: I've read the whole manga, folks, I'm trying to be chill about spoilers for the anime only crowd. come on now lol)

[xeulousluv]

Almost

AN: Hello everyone, I am fairly new to posting on this app, so therefore I am still learning how to use it. Hehe :) Anyways, I hope you are having a great day!

Warning: Nothing really, maybe a little bit of angst? 

Zayn and Y/n broke up and all he’s left with are the videos she took during their senior year of high school.

September 1st, 2010: 

The camera was set up in her hand as she was slightly fixing her hair, a huge smile plastered on her makeup covered face. He always thought she looked better without makeup, but sometimes you couldn’t beat the insecurities. 

“Here we are, the first day of senior year! How are we feeling, Zayn?” 

Next to her stood himself, a much younger version of himself. Two years to be exact. He was almost unrecognizabel, with his usual high school attire adoring his body. A white tee-shirt, black skinny jeans, and not to mention his varsity football jacket hanging off of his shoulders. She looked lovingly at her boyfriend, her eyelashes beating against the softness of her rounded cheeks. 

“I’m ready to get out of here, the last three years were the upmost worst years of my life.” Zayn spoke truthfully, he hadn’t expected to make it past the ninth grade, but with the help of Y/n, he managed to make it all the way to his graduating year. Y/n gave him an offended look before responding, “Hey! If it weren’t for these last three years, you would’ve never met me, let alone had the courage to talk to me. Am I really that bad?” 

She laughed out while speaking, all so he knows that she is joking and would never accuse him of thinking such things. Though, he was already two steps ahead of her and was laughing along at her sad attempt of looking offended. “Of course not, baby. You are what kept me going.” With that, Zayn kissed her temple and she let out a small giggle before stopping the camera. 

September 5th, 2010:

Random small talk was heard on the computer sitting in front of Zayn, before her face showed with a bright glow. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. She was laughing at something her friend Emery said, though it was completely inaudible, he just let the smile take over his face hearing her laugh again. 

“I don’t exactly know why I turned this on, but hello! We successfully made it through the first week of school, and let me just say, it was not fun. The teachers still hate me.” Again, Y/n laughed towards the camera. 

“I remember this one time last year when Mr. Lambert threw me out of class because I wouldn’t stop laughing. In my defence, he was talking about the safety of condoms and Zayn kept mocking him. That was a detention worth going to.” Zayn remembered that day clearly. He sat to the left of Y/n, Mr. Lambert’s first mistake, and would whisper in her ear how he would show her the proper way to wear a condom when they got to her house that night. To say he did end up showing her was an understatement. 

The camera then turned to her friend before she continued on with what she was saying, “Anyways, Emery here, has informed me about this back to school party for seniors at Anthony Stilettos house. So, we are heading to the mall so we can get a nice looking outfit for tonight. I’ll see you guys later!”  And with that the camera switched off.

He thought that was the end of the video, but when she popped back on his screen, he was pleasantly surprised. She wore a black dress that just reached her knees, the end of it rippled and flew each time she took a step. Her hair and makeup was done, and her shoes matched her dress, she really was the most beautiful person he has ever met. 

Without saying anything, Y/n moved the camera to where the view was now on Emery. She wore a simple tight red dress that fit her like a glove, she was placing bobby pins in her hair before realising a camera was watching her every move. Emery turned away from the mirror Y/n had in her room, and started making random poses into the camera. The video finally ended with Y/n facing the camera back to herself while laughing at it. 

October 7th, 2010: 

It was homecoming. Their final homecoming, and of course, Zayn asked her to be his date. He didn’t go all out like the previous years, this particular year was asked right after they finished giving each other their all. They were bunched up together, all sweaty and breathless, and that is when Zayn asked her to go to homecoming with him. He thought it was gross because of their previous activities, but Y/n thought it was sweet, endearing even. It was personal and intimate, she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Plus, she was tired of all the attention that comes with getting asked to homecoming. 

Her dress was a beautiful shade of baby yellow, Zayn wore his usual black suit but with a yellow tie and a yellow rose pinned to his coat pocket. The night couldn’t have been anymore magical. 

“Z, are you ready to go? Emmy and Dallas are waiting in the car.” Her soft voice echoed through the speakers, she was worried about being late. But more so, excited about what the night had planned for the couple. Zayn was fixing his hair, like he does any other day, however today, he wanted to look his absolute best. “Just one more second, love. Gotta look perfect before leaving these four secured walls.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes into the camera before another smile took over her face. It only got wider as he finally announced that he was ready. 

“Baby, you look handsome! You don’t need all that hair gel, make one wrong move and we’re calling you Uncle Jesse.” Zayn scoffed, his hands finding their place on her hips, him being pressed up against her back. His chin resting on her shoulder, they looked so in love. They were so in love. 

October 31st, 2010: 

Fall was Y/n’s favorite season, meaning Halloween was by far her favorite holiday. She squealed into the camera when Zayn walked out in his Peter Pan costume. “Baby, you look so fucking adorable!�� She cooed, though Zayn was having none of it. “Do we have to go to this party? Can’t we just stay in and watch scary movies, I promise I will protect you if you get too scared!”

He knew it was no use, Y/n had been going on and on about Anthony’s costume party for the past week, so when she started laughing, Zayn internally groaned. “Brave of you to assume I will get scared during a horror movie. How about we go for just an hour, then you and I can come back here and watch whatever movie you want?” 

At that, his ears perked, he could go for an hour. That gives him all the more time alone with his love. “Hocus Pocus? That’s my favorite.” 

“Yes baby, we can watch Hocus Pocus, do this for me, and I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” A grin was stretched across his face as she leaned up and gave a peck to his lips. Adoration shining brightly in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You are so lucky I love you, Y/n.” 

“I love you, Zayn. More than you will ever know.” 

December 31st, 2010:

“Hola, my favorite people! Happy New Years Eve, I hope you guys are having a good day. My family is having a little party to bring in the new year, even though you won’t be watching this until later when I decide to post it, I hope you guys have an amazing holiday. Be safe now. Bye!”

Christmas and New Year’s was hard for Y/n. She had major separation anxiety for everyone she grows close to, so not being able to see the people she loves for a whole two weeks was taking a toll on her. Not to mention, Zayn went back to Bradford for the holidays, so he wasn’t there to keep her calm. All she had was the emails and messages he would send her.  

However, that night was different. She didn’t know what it was, but the air felt more intoxicating. There was something she was missing and the young girl couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Emery got ahold of Y/n’s camera without her noticing, pressing the ‘record’ button and smiling.

“Hi, as many of you may know, my name is Emery White. Before questions start racing through your head about where Y/n is, she is currently in the kitchen talking to one of her neighbors, and she knows nothing about this so, shhh!” Emery held her index finger up to her mouth, even though she is talking to a camera. 

“So, the time is now 11:58, meaning it is almost New Year’s and I got a message from a good friend of mine to get her camera and start recording. Oh wait, she’s coming over! Act normal!” 

“Emmy? Why do you have my camera, wait no, when did you get my camera?” Emery turned her neck to look at Y/n, and smiled while looking at her friends confused face. “It’s almost midnight, I figured we could record the big moment for your journal thing.” 

Y/n looked at her watch and sure enough, it was 12:59, and the people around her were counting down. By the time Y/n looked back at her friend, Emery had switched her position to behind the camera, her smile now stretching to her eyes. She gave a confused smile towards the camera before shaking her head. 

10..

9..

8..

A tap was felt on Y/n’s shoulder making her turn around, not believing her eyes, she had to do a double take. There he was in all of his glory. Zayn stood in front of her with a bouquet of random flowers, her eyes widening in complete shock. 

3..

2..

1!

Before she could fully process his presence, Zayn had planted his lips against hers in what he would call, one of their best kisses. His arms went around her waist while hers were around his neck, keeping him as close as humanly possible. She was the first to pull away from the kiss, tears forming at the bottom of her eyes but never fell. Zayn pulled her back, this time her face went into his neck as he whispered out a small, “Happy New Years, baby.” 

May 22nd, 2011: 

Senior prom, a day Y/n has waited her entire life for. Getting all dolled up for one night of perfection sounded glorious. Unlike most people, her dress doesn’t reach the floor but goes a little ways past her knees. It was a light shade of green, she wasn’t usually one for the cliche pink and blue, and her stomach was laced over showing her belly button peircing. She felt on top of the world, the most gorgeous she has ever felt in her entire life. 

Zayn was in a nude tuxedo, a lightish green tie tucked into the blazer. “It’s prom day, baby, how do you feel?” The now well-known camera placed in front of his face, though he paid no attention to it, but really the girl behind it. “Like I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. How did I get so lucky, hm?” 

The blush was evident on her face, he could see it perfectly now even with the camera facing him and not herself. He could still see the light in her eyes. Looking back on it, he couldn’t imagine living his life without her, how could he let her go? 

It wasn’t like they got in a fight or anything, Zayn and Y/n were going to different colleges and he didn’t want to do the whole long distance thing. He felt she deserved better than that. So even though the breakup was absolutely not a mutual agreement, Y/n somewhat understood and let him walk away. 

“You’re such the charmer, Zayn. Always got me blushing for no good reason.” 

“I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn’t.” 

Now turning the camera to face both of them, Zayn placed a kiss on her lips before turning off the camera and letting their night go on as best as it could, for it would be one of the last good memories they have. Except at the time, neither of them knew the last time would actually be the last time. 

June 4th, 2011: 

“Hey everyone, I just want to start off by saying congratulations, we made it. Graduating today was the most amazing feelings, and I’m sure you all can agree with me. The past four years have really taught me a lot, I know I sound like the Mallory Barnes, our valedictorian that gave the speech today, but I’m serious, you all have been amazing. Teachers included.” 

Y/n wasn’t in her usual attire. She was in a comfortable baggy hoodie, and that’s all you could see as her camera was propped on the desk in the corner of the room. Her hair was in a messy bun, no makeup, and her glasses were sat perfectly on her nose. What no one could notice was the slight puffiness to her eyes, the way they were red and tired. But Zayn noticed, however. When Y/n first uploaded this to her instagram, Zayn couldn’t bare to watch it, so seeing it now definitely brought back a feeling he tried too hard to push away. 

“In the past four years I have learned about friendships, I learned about love, and I learned about heartbreak. I have got to say, high school brought me some really great friendships that I will cherish forever. I am finding it very difficult to say goodbye, but we are bound to go off and do bigger and better things. The future awaits for us.” 

“I just want to thank you guys for the amazing memories, and I hope you guys make your dreams come true.” Y/n sighed into the camera, she was really bad at saying goodbye, though you would think it would be easier considering no one likes high school. However, Y/n loved every single second of it, maybe not the learning but the memories made.

“Now, I am going to get really sappy for a minute and say a massive thank you to the man who has loved me for the past four years. Zayn, I know we haven’t talked in a few weeks, and you’re probably not even watching this, but just know that I am so proud of you.  I don’t know how I could not be. I really hope you make something wonderful of yourself. You were by far my favorite part of this journey. Thank you for sticking with me and for loving me. And even though we aren’t together anymore, I love you.”

“We almost had it all, didn’t we?” 

AN: Yeah, I don't think I like this babahahah. Love the concept but someone out there could definitely write it better. 

[twentytarot]

hi everyone! in this pick a card i hope to show you the person that you will (romantically) love the most in this life, and answer the question of whether you will be able to be happy with this person forever. this means this person isn’t necessarily your soulmate, they’re just the one person you dream of choosing over anyone else! pick the image that sets your thoughts off and scroll down to your respective pile for your reading~ 💞

PILE ONE: SUNSET

your person has gone through some things in life, and it’s made them smart, strong, tolerant and patient. what more can we ask for, honestly, right? for most of you this person will be a virgo, but for some they’ll be a leo. or maybe a combination of both. the only small issue i see here is that they don’t really pay much attention to their emotions, and by extension, others’ as well. not that they would offend people on purpose, just that they may prioritise a goal over someone’s feelings, for example.

lucky you, it looks like you will be with this person for a very long time! you might have just met, or you’ll be meeting them soon at school or work. at least one of you will still be pretty junior when you meet. the connection will be a little bit magical, a little bit telepathic, like you understand and complement each other down to each of your powers and your nature. like i said, this person doesn’t really think about romantic things, but they will start to do more and more of the things you like— basically, they want to and will treat you right if you give them a little push in the right direction. you will start a family that is very balanced and has a healthy amount of discipline. i’m feeling libra... maybe you’ll have a libra child with this person? or maybe it’ll be libra season when you meet, or become official, or marry... it’ll resonate differently for everyone.

lastly, i want to say that this connection is very much mental > physical. i feel like some of you may be asexual? regardless, it’s unlikely that you will be attracted to each others looks at first, you’ll love each other for the other’s personality.

PILE TWO: COUPLE

what an exciting soulmate this is! firstly, yes, this person is your soulmate above being the person you will love the most. huge libra vibes. some of you will see scorpio or gemini, though. your person is daring, they have no trouble leaving safety if they think the next big thing will be worth it, and they’ll adapt to the next environment to the point where they’re unrecognisable from their previous self. yet, they’re pretty intense, so i can’t call them a chameleon. your person also has a way with words— they could convince someone the sky is green if they tried hard enough. they could work in the legal fraternity.

now, for the question on whether you’ll be happy together forever, i want to say it’s a soft yes right now. this relationship might be a little volatile; perhaps you or they are a rather argumentative person by nature (more them than you, honestly) so “fights” break out often. i also get the feeling you’re not someone who actually goes against the flow very often— you like your stability in the long run, even if this intense person excites you. they may not appreciate the steadiness you offer, and you may find their drastic ways too dramatic for your comfort. lady luck is on your side, so i think you will pull through, and the two of you will also be very genuinely and purely in love with each other. that being said... at the point where you meet and get together, neither of you would have your eyes wide open enough to see what the other is here to teach you. and so the puzzle pieces will fit, but wrongly. and when the two of you get to fitting the last few pieces, you’ll realise your mistake. i don’t see you getting out of having a huge fight when this happens. will you have the patience and tenacity to crumble the picture back to pieces and start again? i hope you will, darling, because i really think it’ll be worth it.

PILE THREE: SNOW GLOBE

wow, we have a very good looking person on our hands! for some of you this person could just be a little younger than you, but for most, i’m feeling pretty immature vibes coming from this person. they want what they want, you know? they’re likely a sagittarius-capricorn cusp, but more likely capricorn over sagittarius. they’re determined, ambitious and cocky, but boy do they have the qualifications to back themselves up. when they approach you, they will already know they have you.

and yet, you will not stay. this person underestimates the choices you have. you are not powerless yourself, and they know, yet they choose to believe you won’t use it. but you will, because no matter how much someone has your heart, your heart is not your everything, and i know you are not the kind of person to drop your professional life over a 5-carat diamond ring. neither are you the kind of person to allow someone to stand you up more than once without so much as a text. and so you will reconsider your choices, and there will be someone else. a water sign. you will always remember the fire you had with the person before, but this other person will wash away the flames and leave behind a calming stream that you will have to admit, is better for you in the long run.

i know you really wanted this person, darling, but they were dimming your light without even knowing it. and they might have been the person for you, but you weren’t the person for them. or maybe there’s no one that will be able to make them understand. whatever the case is, this person is not yours to keep.

PILE FOUR: HANDS

gosh, i can totally see why you’re smitten for this person. they’re so romantic! it’s in the way they push their hair back, in the way they look at you when you’re recalling a story, and in the flowers they have sent to your workplace, and the sound of them singing love songs to you, and their lofty dreams of a beautiful family in the future... it all makes you swoon. and how apt, this person is a pisces or a taurus, both pretty romantic signs! did i mention they’re not too bad looking either? wow. it’s the full package.

...except they’re not the sharpest tool in the shed. they’re not dumb, just not very clear cut or focused. they’re a little easily distracted, and people will want to distract them, for sure. and honestly, buddy, i’m not sure if you want to have to deal with all of that jealousy and people trying to steal your s/o out from underneath you.

which is why i would say soft no to staying together for the long haul. it’s really not just you, like i said, this person’s a little scatter-brained and may not have the one track mind they would need to make anyone feel secure in a relationship with them. there will be quite a few major gaps between you in terms of where you stand in life, love and your careers, and it’s bound to create misplaced feelings of insecurity. it’s truly not that you can’t make it out to the other side, in fact, if you do, it’s a relationship that will really last forever. but it will be hard, and when you’re at that crossroad, you will just have to go with your gut. you’ll know which path you’re meant to take, and even if it’s the one where the two of you don’t work out, you’ll look upon your days with this person fondly.

[soyunaagente]

Crossed Wires

Thank you @pridelumos​ for trusting me enough to write this request! 

This is the first one I’ve ever done so I hope you all enjoy it! 

Word Count- roughly 2,200.

Warnings- mentions of murder, guns, sex, drugs. My terrible writing. 

The ticking of the office clock was the only thing breaking the tense silence. Yet another day had passed and not a single tip, clue or evidence was sent in. You sighed loudly and got up from your desk. The evening sun still flooding the room in a warm glow. 

‘Someone’s in a good mood,’ Agent Roger Knapp commented on your louder than normal exhale. 

You shot him a look as you poured yet another cup of coffee, The third of the day. ‘It’s been weeks Roger, weeks. We still know shit.’ You’re fresh, not three years out of the academy, still  chomping at the bit to make a difference; after all you’ve heard about the emerging ‘drug war’ in Mexico.  The more….seasoned agents have gotten cynical over the years. Unless it falls into their lap they don’t bother to investigate. 

You dropped into your comfortable office chair and slumped over the desk. Letting out a frustrated groan. Honestly? If you knew the adventure that was about to ensure you’d  wish for a few more of the lazy office days. 

----------

Miguel Ángel Felix Gallardo, arguably the most wanted man in Mexico, leaned back in his office chair. Specially designed with French leather. Not for the faint of heart. He too let out a frustrated sigh.  The Gulf was weeks away from overtaking most of the land border into the United States. All he’d been able to do was sit back and watch it happen. 

He sighed again and stood up to look out the window. The fading rays of sunlight doing nothing to ease his apprehension. The Gulf was mere weeks away from securing the majority of the land border between Mexico and the United States. It would lead to a drop in profits; and an increase in problems. As if he hadn't had enough, Tijuana and Sinaloa were in a war, Pacho had him in a vice grip and Maria was gone. Fled. Kids and all. 

Miguel lit a cigarette, as he watched the ash tip onto the stone balcony he realised there was no point in wallowing. This wasn't going to sort itself. At least this may be something he could fix. Miguel caught his jacket from the coat rack and slammed the door behind him. 

If he had known the events of the next few days maybe he would have gently closed the door instead. 

----------------

You stood at the side entrance of the offices, leaning against the door frame and watching the Guadalajara streets begin to light up with nightlife and music. You glanced back at the building you called a workplace for a moment. Your eyes scanning the stonework. When you laid eyes on him, however.  your jaw dropped to the floor. 

Strutting up the steps to the main entrance. To the United States DEA base in Guadalajara Mexico was none other than the man that had saved your life almost two years ago. 

Miguel Ángel Felix Gallardo.

*Sinaloa two years prior*

As the first female in the DEA you felt as if you had a point to prove. This was your shot to do it. The biggest night time raid the DEA was about to undertake in the city of Sinaloa. Three houses, two down, now it was your turn to show off all you had learnt. It's not an Old Boys Club anymore. 

In the end it had all happened so fast. First you lead the team tactically into the premises, cleared the perimeter. You did everything by the book. After that night you learnt that rules become blurred south of the border quite often.

 There was a sudden whirr of bullets, frenzied screaming.... an odd smell of smoke. Fear overtook you when you heard the order coming from your Walkie Talkie. Two words registered. 'Ambush... scatter.'

You gripped your gun so tight it was a miracle it didn't snap in two. Barely taking in your surroundings you ran. Hastily. The streets passed in a blur. Your lungs felt on fire as you slowed your steps. Slowing to a stop, leaning against a building. The panting made the footsteps approaching behind you inaudible, it was far too late by the time you noticed. 

The sickening click of a gun being drawn from its holster behind you caused your face to drain of blood. Trembling you slowly turned. You were staring down the barrel of a gun.

 Seconds ticked by. The masked gunman's hand trembled. In that split second a gunshot rang out.. as you were thrown to the ground. You kept your eyes squeezed tightly. A warm hand ran down your arm. Daring to open one eye was the best and worst thing you ever did. You opened both. A pair of deep brown eyes stared back. Entranced. He helped you up, how kind of him. 

Once steady on your feet you got a good look at the man. Time for round two of heart attacks of the day. One of the most wanted men in Mexico had his hand in yours, his other holding your elbow to keep you steady. He looked, well, he looked concerned. 

'Estas bien mija?' 

Your mouth opened and closed.

 He chuckled. 'We,' he gestured to the giant of a bodyguard standing over your would be killer's corpse. 'saw what happened. He was on our hit list anyway.'

You felt your cheeks heat up. His voice was like melted butter. He squeezed your hand. 'I hope I'll see you again... agente.'

 ------------------------------

A bunch of roses with no name attached appeared at the office two weeks later. After getting a LOT of shit from the other agents you figured it could only be Miguel who had sent them. Two days later a necklace arrived. Your internal monologue went a little like ‘Oh no Oh no Oh no no no no no no’, especially when you realised the butterflies before evening opening the little box tied with a red ribbon.  He’s a goddamn Narco. You’re meant to be putting him in a prison to rot.

You threw the flowers out and hid the necklace in your wardrobe. Get rid of all keepsakes and therefore all memories. He’s not for you. It’s not right. It’s damn illegal. 

Now here he was walking as calm as could be into the lion’s den. You stayed watching his cool demeanour. His cockiness. That blue suit, that jet black ha-no stop. You didn’t even notice the small smile appearing on your face as he disappeared indoors. 

Realising the worst thing you could possibly do was follow him. So you waited. Hiding behind a tree. Smooth. Real smooth. He emerged from the building about twenty minutes later. You almost deflated in relief as the car turned the corner and sped off down the next street.

Naively thinking it was safe you returned to your desk. Only to have Roger and Chief Jamie Kuykendall waiting with eyebrows raised and an unreadable look on their faces. Jamie was the first to speak. ‘We-um- we had a visitor.’ 

You acted confused. They fell for it. ‘I- we- Felix Gallardo was here. Looking to give us information,’ he finished. 

‘Wha- what?  How? Why?’ you babbled.

‘We don’t know the specifics. That’s the problem, we haven’t the faintest idea why he wants to give it to us. All we know is. He’ll only give it to you.’ Roger intervened. 

Your jaw hit the floor. ‘Me?’

‘No, he came all the way in here to ask for the Pope. Yes you,’ Roger snapped.    

Jamie handed you a scrap piece of paper. ‘He asked to meet you for dinner. He’ll give you the information then.’

Your brow furrowed. The moral compass going into overdrive. He’s a narco. He saved your life. You’re just getting information. Pushing all the thoughts aside you nodded slowly. ‘I’ll do it. It’ll be okay.’  Whether you were convincing them or yourself is still up for debate. 

You didn’t sleep at all that night. The bed was uncomfortable, the night was too humid, the pillows were uneven. All excuses you convinced yourself were the issue. Sitting straight up at dawn you stared at the wardrobe. The necklace. Sneaking up on the shelf you caught the box and pulled it down. Inside lay the most beautiful silver and diamond collar. 

Slipping it on felt right, It fit like a glove. The dress you chose was a bit risqué to say the least. But you know, we have to give him something to look at. Grabbing your purse before leaving you noticed a driver and his car outside. 

‘Para ti Senorita,’ He opened the door. Champagne and truffles awaited. The smell of the new leather filled you with apprehension as the streets rolled by, before long you were in an unfamiliar part of town. The filthy rich side. The driver pulled up to a villa straight out of a Hollywood movie. The old fashioned villa, complete with a football field sized yard  and outdoor pool was a stark contrast to the cramped apartment you called home. 

Feeling slightly out of place you followed the driver to the entrance. He pushed open the door to a beautifully ornate interior. A butler handed you a glass of champagne and led you to the outdoor terrace. A table for two was set, with a view overlooking the city. It was almost too much. Almost. You took a seat at the table. Admiring the white table cloth and, of course, the vase full of roses as a centre piece. You nervously tugged at the necklace, anxious for Miguel to arrive. Still mixed feelings on the whole deal.

‘Hola Senorita,’ that voice, It stirred something in the pit of your stomach. 

‘Hola.’ There was a slight bit of tension in the air as he sat across from  you. The look in his eye was mischievous, bordering cocky. 

‘Antes de cenar agente. Tengo un regalo para ti.’ He pushed a brown envelope across the table. You let your fingertips touch it before he lets it go. You take another glance back at him. The cockiness is gone. This is the envelope with everything in it. Names, addresses, routes. You tapped your fingers on it for a second. Contemplating. Eventually deciding against better judgement you slipped the invaluable information into your purse. A look of relief washed over Miguel’s face. 

It honestly took you by surprise how funny he could be. You felt a six pack coming on before dinner was even served. The tension disappeared. As the wine flowed you felt more at ease with your supposed arch nemesis. His shoulders slowly dropped throughout the meal. Simply enjoying the company. The butler cleared the dinner dishes away. As he did so the sound of slow classical music filled the night air. Bringing with it Miguel’s invitation for a dance. Slightly embarrassed at the prospect he put you at ease by assuring you he didn’t know the steps. 

He held your hand in his. His grip around your waist was both comforting and reassuring. You simply melted into the embrace. Resting your head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was music to your ears. That moment, nothing could ruin that picturesque moment.  The smell of his expensive cologne, the feeling of his cool shirt against your skin.

You gazed up at him, his beard tickling your upper lip. You felt a smirk, his hand around your waist tightening. Oh dear, no. You place your hands on his chest where your head once lay. He looks at you, concern filling his eyes. ‘Que pasa mija hm.’ 

‘I-I.’ you fumble. ‘This,we,’

He stopped dead in his tracks. Moving his hands to hold your shoulders gently but firmly. ‘What are you worried about?’

You stared down at the floor. ‘I can’t be a notch on your belt Miguel. That’s not what this is, I'm a DEA agent. Of course I’ll be forever grateful for saving my life but…. But I just-’

His grip became slightly firmer. Barely noticeable but yet, you felt it. ‘I’m not going to bring you to my room mija. If you do decide to, it'll be because you want to. Not to, what, thank me for the information? That’s not what this is.’ His tone was reaffirming. Yet Calming. His juxtapositions were almost overpowering. How could one man be so much Ying and yet, so much Yang? 

You held his hand. Entwining your fingers with his. ‘This is the way it has to stay Miguel,’ your voice cracking slightly. This is the way it has to stay. 

You quickly wiped a tear from your cheek. With mascara threatening to run you turned to leave. Picking up your purse you took the first steps. Before bidding adieu to the glorious villa you  glanced back at the Narco standing in front of you. ‘If you have any more information you know where I am.’ 

With that, you bid the man that firmly held your heart farewell.

[snarkywrites]

August Horoscopes: Hear Me Roar

We have made it to August! Considering everything that has happened this year, August seems like a much-needed breath of fresh air of new beginnings. We are still dealing with the pesky Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter transits, but Leo Season always bring excitement. Being a Fixed Fire sign, Leo Season will allow for us to focus on stability while allowing us to feel the joy. Leo is ruled by the Sun, a promise of confidence, success and hopes. The motivation keeps going thanks to the fire qualities and there is a need to keep fighting, not only to win but to claim our place in the world. Creative energy is abundant for us all, so take the opportunities to create magic. Venus will be in Cancer, showing us a new face of love that is deep and grounding. Mercury will be in a fire sign, letting our communication be bolder and more impulsive. And finally, we enter another Earth sign, Virgo towards the end of the month on the 22nd. Virgo will be grounding and stabilizing, adding to some of the themes we saw in Taurus Season. Let this month sweep you away because it has a lot to offer us during these chaotic times.

 Aries – It has been a while since you experienced a dose of fire energy, so this will be a welcoming season for you. Mars is currently in your sign, making a nice trine to the Sun making you feel more inspired and motivated to take action with confidence. This is a great period to exercise your creative prowess and get projects rolling. Things kick off with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, making you more connected to people through social networking. You are on top of the world with this transit, getting recognition and closing some cycles from earlier in the year with peace and tranquility. Mercury finally enters the sign of Leo on the 4th, saying so long to the long reign of Cancer and making your communication livelier and more exciting. On the 7th, we finally see Venus leave the sign of Gemini, after a four-month transit and enter the sign of Cancer. This will make you want to splurge on things and make your home pretty. Expect a period of friction but overall peace and tranquility with family. The Hermit Reversed is your card for the month, making you want to reach within and ask yourself some questions. With Venus in Cancer, take the time to meditate, bring harmony and reflect.

Taurus – Your focus will be shifting to the home front during this Leo Season, bringing up opportunities and project you can complete at home. The month begins with the Full Moon in the sign of Aquarius on the 3rd, causing some tension with your sign, as you struggle to bring balance with home and work. Lessons now will be on time management and patience. We are all looking forward to Venus moving into the sign of Cancer on the 4th, making you excited for a new beginning when it comes to your outlook and connection to others. Venus will bring confidence and beauty to your words and mannerisms, a favorable time for you as well as exciting. On August 15th, you might feel the shift when Uranus starts its Retrograde, bringing some of that anxiety and thrills into your live as you begin to reevaluate who you are and what you are going to do! It is fitting that The World is your card for the month with Uranus going Retrograde and your identity being center stage. Do not panic! You should take things easy because slow and steady always wins the race, even if you feel like you need a change.

Gemini – One of the major events this month is that Venus is no longer in your sign but will enter the sign of Cancer on the 7th. Those lessons during the Venus Retrograde should have taught you a lot about yourself and the relationships you have with friends as well as potential romantic partners. Your card for the month is the King of Wands, showing that you are ambitious and motivated for what is to some, which is a great sign. This Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, shows that you are ready for the next phase, as you close out some cycles, gain wisdom and begin to apply what you have learned to your day-to-day life. Your ruler Mercury will enter the sign of Leo on the 4th, adding more of the energy you are used to and once more showing that you are in command of your thoughts and goals. This will be a very favorable period for you as you get to move and begin new goals fearlessly with more wisdom.

Cancer – Exciting beginnings for you this month due to a major event happening which is Venus entering your sign on the 4th, which might inspire a treating yourself mentality, as you reconnect with your power, self-love and confidence. With all of the Cardinal struggles, this Venus transit will feel like a godsend, adding motivation and confidence. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, will serve as a time of reflection, as you weigh in on your confidence and goals. Similar themes might repeat towards the end of the year, but for now you will bask in the excitement that Leo Season has to offer. Uranus will be Retrograde starting on the 15th, making things feel unsettling with your friends circle. Expect the unexpected with this transit. Your card for the month is the Two of Pentacles. There might be choices that need to be made regarding finances, this could be related to a project or job. Maybe you might be feeling overwhelmed, so this can be a great time to focus and take things easy. Mercury’s shift into the sign of Leo on the 4th, will be connected to the themes of the Two of Pentacles since you will truly evaluate the state of your finances now.

Leo – Interesting to see that the Six of Swords is your card for the month. With all of these water transits and a new burst of fire energy, you are finally feeling the shift in energy, getting out of a standstill and ready to move forward. This month opens with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, having you ponder your relationships and the impact that they will have in your life moving forward. You are closing these chapters and applying those lessons. Mercury’s shift in your sign on the 4th gives you much more confidence and tenacity but it would be wise to watch what you say because your tongue will be sharp this transit. Venus entering Cancer on the 7th will be a pleasant time for you and a moment to relax and reflect. With this Uranus Retrograde transit on the 15th, you might want to reevaluate your status with your job as well as the responsibilities you have at hand.

Virgo – Virgo Season is only several weeks away and you are ready for the changes that are coming. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will have you focusing on your well being and it will make you feel right at home since this energy is what helps you thrive. This is bringing you back to basics, planning and fixing up your routines. When Mercury enters Leo on the 4th, this will begin a period of introspection for you, as you measure what you have to say and might be a little reserved with friends and family. Nevertheless, when Venus enters the sign of Cancer on the 7th, you will be connecting to the Queen of Cups energy, which is your card for the month. You are ready to give your heart out and put yourself out there. Your reserved energy will make you more alluring and romantic to others since you will be emotionally in control. When the Sun enters your sign on the 22nd, it will be the initiation period for greater things to happen. Expect lots of joy this month because you have been waiting for a change.

Libra – Three of Swords energy will be prevalent for the month of August as you recover from some heartaches and begin the rebuilding process. Saturn’s transits have not been easy, but you have the handle on things. This Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will bring a period of delight as you await the culmination to some complex topics from earlier this year. Mercury will enter the sign of Leo on the 4th, making your voice heard and feel empowered. Be careful what you say since it will be monitored by many. There will also be the long-awaited Venus sign shift from Gemini into fellow Cardinal sign Cancer, putting you center stage. Expect some surprises with this transit since you may receive some recognition for your hard work. When the Sun enters the sign of Virgo on the 22nd, it will allow for you to retreat and you will enjoy this period of rest since it will provide a break from all of the tougher transits you’ve endured.

Scorpio – Your sign will excel during the month of August since all eyes are currently on you. This Leo Season will have folks looking at your merits and potential. There will be many admirers, especially when Venus enters fellow water sign Cancer on the 7th, creating a trine. Feel the allure and the mystery because people will be buzzing about you. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd will have you bringing the focus back to your home front, analyzing your course of action for later this year. Mercury is finally out of fellow water sign Cancer and when it enters Leo, you will feel it’s benefic qualities a lot more. You will be in a position to radiate and achieve more success. Your card for the month is the Two of Wands, showing that you are in power and control, ready to take the lead and show everyone just what you are made of. The unstoppable Scorpio reign will continue full force when the Sun moves into the sign of Virgo on the 22nd, allowing you to take center stage with your friends and making more connections through social media (hopefully you are social distancing!) and getting more focused to succeed and make you dreams come true.

Sagittarius – It has felt like quite the journey for Sagittarius this year. Expect a favorable month with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, bringing you mental clarity and the keys to unlocking some themes you have questioned earlier in the year. Your card for the month is the Knight of Pentacles, forcing you to take action and what better time to do so during the Full Moon. Mercury enters the sign of Leo on the 4th, making you more willing to take on and explore some more issues and topics you have been curious about. Get the pen and paper ready because your mind will be inspired. Venus will finally leave Gemini, so you will no longer have to deal with the ghosts of your dating past, as well as revisit some tough moments with people you no longer consider friends. Venus in Cancer will show you how to value the world around you and will force you to make changes in your life. The Sun’s entry in fellow mutable sign Virgo will put you center stage on the 22nd. All eyes are on you for the next month, so work hard, stay strong and keep the optimism flowing.

Capricorn – August promises to bring forth some exhilaration for your sign. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd is a needed guidance to bringing about more stability and grounding in your life. Your card for the month is the Knight of Swords Reversed which ties with this airy Moon which will take you back to basics, allowing for more financial freedom. While the Knight wants to rush, you should take it easy and make moves only when you are comfortable and secure enough in your decisions. Mercury will be in the sign of Leo beginning on the 4th, adding an element of surprise and ties to the themes of the Moon. You are in a period of transition and you will definitely feel the shift. Venus will be in the sign of Cancer starting on the 7th, marking a period of reflection regarding romantic partners from the past and present. This can add to an intense month ahead, especially with Uranus going retrograde on the 15th. Expect some joy and excitement in romance as you will be full speed ahead for the fun you have been longing for some time.

Aquarius – A huge month for you, especially with the Full Moon in your sign on the 3rd. This is a period of transformation and understanding as you brace yourself for what the end of the year has to offer. For many Aquarians, this month will make you reflect on the Saturn transit in your sign. Pieces of what you dealt with will come back in flashes, preparing you for what is to come 2021. Your card for the month is the Two of Swords, focusing on decisions you have been putting off. Do not worry, because Mercury will be in Leo on the 4th giving you the confidence to make a choice after you have evaluated all of the options. On the 7th, Venus finally leaves fellow air sign Gemini and shifts into the sign of Cancer allowing you to step your game up by focusing more on your wants and needs. Uranus will be going Retrograde on the 15th, causing some tension in the home front. Expect some of the unexpected, as you discover new revelations or even ponder a possible relocation. This is a month that will be interesting and exciting for us all. Just make sure to go with the flow, relax and have fun.

Pisces – We finally make it to your sign dear Pisces. This month begins with the Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd, bringing you a much needed resting period as you get ready for the next phase for September, big culminations are awaiting you, this is only the start. Venus will be making a trine with your sign since it will be in Cancer on the 7th, which can spark a creative awakening for you. Uranus will be Retrograding on the 15th, which can add a bit of anxiety to your communication. Take it slow and easy, pace yourself and don’t get too carried away if you want to debate others. Channel this energy into creating exciting piece. One of the greater transits this month will be the Sun’s entry in your sister sign, Virgo on the 22nd. The value of friendships, family and romance will be prominent themes this time of year. Thinking about love and romance? You will feel more inclined to open your heart up, especially with your card for the month being, the Four of Wands Reversed. This can still be a period of celebration and joy if you are willing to take the steps.

[real-american]

Supernatural: A dedication to its memory and how the show changed my life

Fifteen Years. 15 years and over 300 episodes of the greatest show on TV. 15 years of joy, heartache, tears, fun and inspiration; and for me, 15 years, two marriages one divorce, two tattoos and a show that brought me the love of my life. Supernatural has impacted us all on so many levels. I could easily write a 15 page academic paper on the seasons, the meanings behind each season and all the little things that made the show so great. Things such as the music, the brothers Winchester, the family dynamic, and the beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala (my dream car should I win the lottery. Black four door version of course). I could go on about each major and minor character, how they impacted the show and what each of them meant to me and the fans but this is not what this is about. This post is about how Supernatural changed my life and how it impacted me.

First a few housekeeping things to address regarding the final season and the series finale. I thought the pre finale show was excellent but definitely could have been longer and included more. However I do understand they only had 42 minutes or so to cram 15 years of memories and characters in so I understand they had to only hit the highlights. They should do a longer version for the Blue Ray 15 season collectors set which I'm sure they will make and that I am definitely getting. Regarding the final season, I thought it was excellent. My wife, who is also a big fan of the show (more on her later) didn't think it was as good as other seasons but enjoyed it none the less. The ending was good sort of expected with the two boys ending up in heaven together, but I was surprised they killed Dean in the sort of nonchalant way they did. Sort of anti climactic for the greatest hunter in the world. The final speech to Sam was heartbreaking and heartfelt and I loved it! I also loved the symmetry of how Sam's son Dean also gave him permission to leave this world as Sam gave (original) Dean all those years later. I'm glad they didn't show who Sam's wife was and she was just left as a mysterious place holder. Originally I thought maybe they should have had him with Eileen but in retrospect the way they did it was better and honestly I'm not sure if she (or the other AU folk) were even brought back with the rest of the world. Maybe someone can clear this point up for me. I was really surprised they didn't do the "carry on my wayward son" beginning but I soon figured out before it even happened they were going to do it in the end of the episode which turned out to be much better. All in all I give the last season an A- and the finale and how it ended an A+ Again there is a lot to say about the final season, the final episode, and all the seasons but I will leave that analysis to other people. This is about what the show meant to me specifically about how it helped me through my darkest days and ushered in my brightest of days which I am living now. This is that story.

I wasn't with Supernatural from the very beginning. The show premiered in 2005 and I honestly hadn't heard anything about it or did I know anything about it for a few years. I came off active duty from the Marine Corps in June of 2005 and after fighting my beloved country's wars for a few years I was out of the loop on many things. I first came across Supernatural on TNT catching a re run here and there but with no real interest and only getting bits and pieces of the story. In 2010 I met my first wife and was a casual fan at this point seeing enough re runs on TNT to get a general idea of the storyline for the first few seasons but again only as a casual fan. At this point of my life I was also falling down a dark hole. My alcoholism which is a result of my PTSD from my combat service started to get really bad. I was drinking more than most people could handle but as my father was, highly functional. This led to me staying with and eventually marrying my first wife which was a bad idea. She cheated on me constantly and probably didn't even really love me. We were also polar political opposites (you can figure out my political viewpoints from the rest of my blog) and not compatible really in the least. Why I ever stayed with her and married her is beyond me at this point in my life. So there I was drinking my life away in a bad relationship and trying to figure out how to manage my life. Then Supernatural came on Netflix and I decided to give it a real shot. This decision changed my life.

I quickly caught up on the first six seasons and started watching the show live starting with season 7. I was hooked. I loved everything about it. Dean and Sam, Cass the car, the brotherly love, the monsters, the angels, everything but I still didn't know how this show would impact me in the end. I continued to drink myself to death getting unhealthier fatter and no longer resembling the fit Marine I once was. I was in a constant haze drinking an entire bottle of whiskey every night to drink away the pain of my bad marriage and the pain of not being loved and cheated on by my wife. Supernatural was the one bright spot in my life.

In 2014 I finally divorced my wife but this was only the first step. I continued to drink and destroy my life causing me to get fired from my job. Fortunately I was hired on back into government work making much better money and with having no wife and no kids was finally able to live a little better financially but I was lonely and alone except for the alcohol. I continued to find refuge in the bottle but also in Supernatural. I watched every episode as it came on, re watched all the old episodes, blogged and facebooked about it to the point that I am sure I was annoying the one or two friends that I had. The rest of my life was a blur. Get up, stumble into work drunk or hungover, go home sick and jonesing for my next drink, bottle of whiskey till one in the morning, a few hours of sleep and starting the whole cycle back over. I was fat, ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside, and a bad human being. My drinking got so bad I destroyed my liver and was medically discharged from my job but was given retirement for all my years of service to the federal government. So now I was 33 retired with a pension and VA disability and really nothing to do but sit at home drink whiskey and watch TV. I had no love in my life, one or two close friends who didn't like being around me anymore because of my drinking, and my family was worried but couldn't get through to me. Even after my father died of alcohol abuse in 2015 I still continued down my destructive path. Finally in February of 2017 I was hospitalized and was told I would be dead in less than a year. I truly believe I was touched by God at this point because I went home dumped out three bottles of alcohol and never touched the stuff again to this day.

Now I had to learn to relive my life all over without alcohol. I started to exercise and lose weight (90 pounds in 5 months) I went back to church, and I started to try and find love again and of course needing distraction and something to occupy my mind I dove deep into Supernatural. I re watched and re watched again all the old episodes, I poured myself into analysis of the plot lines and characters, I got tattoos on my arms (the demon trap and the anti possession symbol), I obsessed with everything Supernatural. It helped me stay sober. When I wanted a drink I would watch an episode, when I was feeling lonely I would go hang out with Sam and Dean. When I wanted to give up I took refuge in the Impala. I became a super fan. So far Supernatural got me through my divorce, was my bright spot in my alcoholic haze, and helped me stay sober when I first gave up my demons. I cheered harder during the happy moments of the show and cried harder in the sad ones. I was an emotional wreck and my feelings only seemed to come out while watching the show. Although I had quit drinking, got rid of my toxic ex wife and started to improve my life, I was still not happy. I was alone and lonely but Supernatural came to my rescue once again.

Throughout 2017 and the first part of 2018 I managed to be in two relationships. I poured myself into them grasping at them as if they were my reward for turning my life around and ignoring all the signs that they were not good relationships. I was still learning to relive my life as a sober person. I never integrated back into society after I left the Corps in 2005 and finally I was doing so but it was a hard journey. Inevitably those relationships failed and I was utterly heartbroken each time, but Supernatural was always there through the good times and the bad. When my heart was broken I would go find refuge in my favorite show forgetting about my problems and trying to help Sam and Dean solve theirs. Finally in May of 2018 I decided to try and find love again. This time it would be different and this time it was Supernatural that helped me get there.

As part of my recovery and daily routine I started to eat at my local diner everyday. Everyday from about July 2017 to the present time in this story I would go in, order 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage, and toast. Everyday I would sit in the same spot at the counter (counter 6 was the name of the spot) order the same thing and even had my own special coffee mug. I knew everyone who worked there by name and they all knew me by name. They knew my order and had it ready for me when I came in. It felt like a magical place, a place that would forever change my life. There was one waitress/cook that I didn't see very often. She mostly worked the night shift but occasionally I would see her if I was there later in the day than usual or if she occasionally worked a morning shift. I was drawn to this woman. About the middle of May in 2018 I decided to maybe try and work up the courage to ask her out. I would always look for her when I went in hoping she was working that day hoping she wasn't too busy so that I could exchange a few words with her and hoping she would even notice me. Then one day in July I went in and she was there. I said hello and ate my breakfast but we didn't talk much. When I was paying for my meal the other gal working there asked  what my plans were for the day and I said oh nothing much just gonna go home and watch Supernatural. Then she turned around. The woman I had been trying to talk to, the one I wanted to ask out, Michelle was her name. She said, "I love that show I'm watching season 13 on DVD right now". I perked up a smile came across my face. Nervously I said, "oh cool yeah its my favorite show" Michelle nodded and turned back to work, I went to my car got in and smiled. I knew how I was gonna break the ice now next time. A few days later on my daily visit to the diner I went in a little later than usual. It was about 3 in the afternoon. It was dark and gloomy, raining, and cold. It felt like a Supernatural episode. It felt like a 67 Impala should have been in the parking lot and two good looking hunters should be in the corner on a laptop researching their current case. It felt like a magical moment. Turns out I was the only customer in the whole place. It was just me the waitress and Michelle who was cooking that day. They took my order without asking as the usually did and I could already see Michelle had already started cooking it. She finished and brought it to me herself. We exchanged a look and a feeling of confidence I have never had in my life overcame me and I said to her, "So are you enjoying season 13?" That is how it all began we started talking about the show. How we started watching it who our favorite characters were, how much we loved this season or that one. The conversation was seamless. We got into other get to know you topics around our conversation about Supernatural and it was like we were old friends talking about a show we loved. Eventually I got up and went to pay the waitress and she turned to go back to the kitchen in the back. Feeling an opportunity slip away I said "hey Michelle, maybe we should go get some dinner some time and watch some Supernatural together". I held my breath. She would surely smile and politely say no. She probably gets asked out all the time by the customers, beautiful woman that she is. Then she smiled and said "sure that would be great" I must have smiled so big and my heart skipped 10 beats! I got her number which she wrote on a order ticket and the rest they say is history. Ten months later I wrote ,"will you marry me" on the back of that order ticket and gave it to her at counter 6 at the diner where we met, where we first started talking about Supernatural, where my life finally changed for the better forever, and she said yes! We were married two months later on our one year anniversary and we just watched the final episode together yesterday. We both had tears, we both smiled when Sam and Dean, soulmates, were finally together at the end because we both know how it feels to be with each others soulmate. We held each others hand and said goodbye together.

Supernatural has forever changed me. It has been with me through every major event in my life over the last 15 years. Through the dark times, through the hard times, and finally through the current happy times. I guess it is ok that Supernatural is over now. I no longer need it. I have my wife, my Michelle, my soulmate. I am finally happy. I have Sam and Dean's permission to move on and they have mine. Good bye Winchesters. Good bye and thank you. You have taught me to carry on and find my peace when I'm done, and to cry no more. This is but one man's story, one of so many. How many lives has this show changed? How many people have found comfort in the adventures of Sam and Dean? I'm not sure the answer. Too many to count I would wager. 15 years and 300 episodes of the greatest show ever on TV. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: Spring Troupe’s Interview From Documentary Book’s “Moment of Spring”

Translation under the cut.

First of all, while looking at the photos on the cover, please tell us what happened on the day you took them.

Sakuya: It was a frame of the Spring Troupe's spring!

Chikage: I wonder if Sakuya was holding Hina dolls in his photo.

Citron: Oh, I know that! Isn't that the thing that was born while chirping after you kept it warm for three days and three nights?

Tsuzuru: It's not that "Hina."

Itaru: It's a different Hina.

Masumi: ...These ugly Hina dolls are put in the theater lobby.

Sakuya: Wow, Masumi-kun! You sure have a sharp eye.

Masumi: It’s because Director and I helped decorate them there.

Sakuya: Oh, I see. To tell you the truth, it was all due to Manager saying that the theater lobby felt kind of empty. And given that it's March, we decided to decorate the lobby with Hina Festival-themed items.

Tsuzuru: Not to mention that a lot of the audience members are girls.

Chikage: The Masumi in this photo… Was he about to give a present to Director?

Itaru: That expression is exclusive for Director only. He's so easy to read.

Tsuzuru: If I remember correctly, this was taken during White Day. I remember seeing him grinning ear to ear while staring at the present in our room.

Masumi: I was imagining Director's reaction after I gave her that present. I was sure she'd be surprised but at the same time so happy she couldn't stop laughing… Then, she'd blissfully say, "Thank you. I'll treasure it."

Itaru: Surprised but so happy she couldn't stop laughing?

Citron: Now I'm curious about what your present is!

Sakuya: So was she happy about the present?

Masumi: Not telling. It was a memory that only me and Director share.

Citron: Aw, Masumi is a cheapskate~.

Sakuya: Meanwhile… things seemed to be lively in Tsuzuru-kun's photo!

Tsuzuru: My brothers started fighting when I was making sakura mochi for our cherry blossom viewing. I know I should've just left them be since they're always fighting, but… I couldn't help but speak out.

Chikage: You're truly a natural born big brother, handling this kind of thing by reflexes.

Citron: Is that a carnation you were holding, Itaru?

Masumi: For mother's day?

Itaru: Yep. I was planning to buy flowers and stop by my home. My sister apparently predicted this and asked me to buy her sweets. I was talking to her in the photo. They're all very popular stores that can have people waiting in line. But well, they have pretty tolerable prices…

Masumi: Looking at your expression, you should have found some excuses to refuse her.

Itaru: You could say that because you don't how my sister is when she's mad…

Citron: I want to meet Itaru's rumored sister one day!

Masumi: ...Citron's pose looked weird in this one.

Sakuya: Whoa, the bamboo shoots are big!

Citron: I call it, "ever-growing bamboo shoots" pose~. The greengrocer uncle from the shopping district gave those fine bamboo shoots to me!

Tsuzuru: You really are the idol of the shopping district… As long as Citron-san is here, looks like we don't need to worry about hunger issue. It's already been taken care of without us knowing.

Itaru: Last one is senpai… Huh? Is it really okay to have your photo like this? You were in the middle of doing some dangerous side jobs in this one, right?

Chikage: What do you take me for? As you can see, I was making a helmet with origami.

Masumi: I saw this helmet in the theater lobby. It was so symmetrical and terrifyingly well-made.

Tsuzuru: It felt like that helmet brought out Chikage-san's personality.

Citron: We all were enjoying spring and taking a very blissful shot!

Sakuya: That's right! Spring is indeed such a lovely season!

Then, as we looked back at your plays up until the sixth one, please tell us an event that left the most impression on you.

Citron: It would take forever, you know! We have a loooot of memories together, though I think the turning point of Spring Troupe was during our debut and fourth play.

Tsuzuru: During our debut play, we were all still beginners in theater and were still figuring out everything. Chikage-san joined us during our fourth play and we became a six-member group… I've gotta admit we underwent a major change as a troupe that time.

Sakuya: In addition, it was during the preparation for these two plays that we slept on the stage together!

Tsuzuru: The first time we did it was because Yuzo-san roasted us so bad, so we decided to sleep onstage to understand the play better. During our fourth play, we already invited Chikage-san but since he had work to do, we couldn't do it...

Masumi: But when we headed to the theater for our morning practice, these two were sleeping. Thus, I slept too.

Itaru: We were so noisy at that time so I figured you'd wake up soon, but… you sure slept like a log, huh, senpai?

Chikage: I still woke up in the end since your snoring was too loud, though.

Itaru: Seriously?

Masumi: You do look like the type who snores loudly.

Chikage: Joking aside… back then, I was surprised when I woke up and found you all there.

Citron: Oh, so our prank was a big success in the end! I wanna throw another slumber party with you all~.

Sakuya: Me too! I want to chat about a lot of things with you all!

Masumi: About love?

Itaru: I have a feeling Masumi's gonna monopolize that talk.

Tsuzuru: Heck yeah…

Chikage: That sounds fun. Why not?

Now that all of you have experienced becoming the leading actors, please tell us what kind of roles or performance you want to have.

Chikage: Since we have Tsuzuru here, it wouldn't hurt to say whatever we want, right?

Tsuzuru: You have a point, and it can also be a motivation to act. For the time being, I'd like to hear what you want to do...

Citron: In that case, I wanna appear in a Japanese style play!

Itaru: ...Ah, in that case, don't you think adding fantasy element to the play will be cool? Like a youkai-themed play.

Tsuzuru: Some amazing suggestions came right at the very beginning… But well, given that we rarely deliver a Japanese style play, I think it may turn good.

Masumi: Then, I want to take on a knight role. Obviously, the one playing the princess will be--.

Tsuzuru: Since we already have KniRoun that had similar sense, I don't think we'll do that now.

Masumi: If so--.

Tsuzuru: Not a bridegroom role. If we're going to do a play set at a wedding hall, then we'll also have one of Spring Troupe members crossdress to play the bride.

Chikage: Tsuzuru crossdressing, huh… That's kind of new.

Sakuya: It may fit him, surprisingly.

Tsuzuru: Why me!? I'm banning you all from raising random flags!

Citron: Do you have any roles you want to play, Chikage?

Chikage: A role I want to play, huh… Since I've only performed three plays at the moment, there's nothing in particular.

Itaru: How about taking a non-glasses character once more? All of your characters are wearing glasses except Gawain.

Masumi: Playing a glasses character once per two plays?

Sakuya: But I feel like Chikage-san can pull of any kind of characters!

Tsuzuru: Well, yeah. Since you're good at stage combat… I think giving you another role with lots of action will be a great idea.

Chikage: Exercising is one of my fortes, so I'll do my best if you give me one. How about you, Sakuya?

Sakuya: ...It's not really a role, but I want to deliver a play with everyone in the theater troupe someday!

Itaru: That means the main cast will consist of 24 people.

Citron: Oh, it sounds very fun! I want to do it too!

Masumi: I support that idea. That way, we'll have less lines. Tsuzuru will probably die, though.

Itaru: That'll be Tsuzuru's posthumous work…

Tsuzuru: Please stop saying things that will bring bad luck like that! I do admit I feel like the Sanzu River comes into view, though! ...But well, I want to do that too one day. I have a feeling I can write a piece that I've never written until this day.

Sakuya: Whoa… I'm already looking forward to see what kind of characters and story that you'll come up with!

Chikage: So can I expect this piece to be your masterpiece?

Itaru: This'll be a piece that continues to be handed down in Japan's theater industry.

Citron: Non, non! It'll be a piece that easily sweeps the top categories at International Theater Awards.

Tsuzuru: H-Hey, I haven't even started writing it! Please stop raising the bar!

I'd also like to ask about your personal stories. Given that this book is dedicated to "Moments of Spring Troupe", can you tell us what kind of thing that is currently popular within your troupe?

Itaru: If I have to choose, I think it's Zahra's board game--the one that Prince Tangerine gave us as a souvenir during the sixth play.

Masumi: The game requires each of us to cultivate the uninhabited islands in Zahra, develop it and do some tradings.

Sakuya: The player with the most territories will be declared the winner at the end of the game! The game is so interesting that it has become our daily routine to play it once we're done with rehearsals!

Citron: I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the game! I also have a game that I'd like to recommend to you all, you see! I'll have Guy get it next time!

Chikage: Last time I checked there's also a game in which you become a spices merchant and get rich, right? I'm a little bit curious about that one.

Tsuzuru: No, I don't think the Zahra Kingdom has that kind of ga--.

Citron: I expected no less from Chikage! You even know that game! OK, I'll have them send that too!

Itaru: Wow, it does exist…

Last but not least, please send a message to the fans who are always supporting Spring Troupe.

Sakuya: On behalf of Spring Troupe… I'd like to thank you all for always supporting us! Before we knew it, we already held six plays. It was all thanks to your support that we were able to deliver this number of plays. Even if it's only one, we'll be happy if you have scenes or lines from our plays that are unforgettable to you. For our next play, we promise to give everything we can to deliver a beautiful performance to you all. Therefore--

Spring Troupe: Thank you for your continuous support!

T/N:

*Hina doll shares the same kanji as chick (雛) hence the misunderstanding.

**For those who don't know, Hina Festival is usually held on March 3.

***In Japanese myths, the Sanzu River is a river that people are said to cross on the seventh day after their death.

[harristops]

Honestly I am so sad for Ash. All this shows is that no matter how hard she works, how hard she chorales her team, how much effort she puts in both at the club and country level, she's just not ever going to be good enough. I feel bad for Ali too because she was robbed of that 2012 gold, but Ali has been in three WWC and has won two of them while playing and getting minutes. Ash was consistently sidelined at each opportunity, and not only was she passed by Alyssa, but now Jane? I can't imagine how hurt she must feel because I for one am heartbroken for her.

Awh, not gonna lie this one got me. I don’t think it’s a matter of being good enough, but rather that she just wasn’t the right fit for this team. I can’t imagine the hurt of being passed by a younger version of herself, but what gets me most emotional is that she is always so proud of the team and especially the rookies. She wants them to do well, and will always be there to support them, even if it means she takes a back seat. She is always humble even in defeat, and she just wants what is best for the team. She has said it so many times before that her job is a thankless one, and that the majority of her work with the national team has been as a background player. She may have never stood on the field, but she was with that team as a strong, steadfast member for morale and spirit.

Despite how it ended, I have no doubt she’s proud of Jane and AD, and I am sure she’d want them to get all the opportunities she never got to have. Ash had a lot of setbacks in her career from an early age, from poverty to injuries to poor coaching decisions and internal politics - her journey was never easy. She didn’t have the same support system back when she started as she does now. She didn’t have a healthy home or family growing up, didn’t have much money, a beautiful daughter or a loving wife. She got to where she is today through her own perseverance and the encouragement to keep fighting from Whitney Engen. It’s not an excuse, but I have no doubt if Ash had all the things she had now, or didn’t injure herself in college, she would have gotten so many more playing opportunities. But, as with life, things don’t always pan out the way we want them too, and she did the best with what she had and never complained.

I’m proud of her for making it this far in her journey, especially considering all the disappointments and tough moments. She may have never gotten a starting spot or even minutes in a major tournament, but she fought right to the very end. Whether it’s for the Pride or for the USWNT, her drive and motivation to be the best player on the field is something she uniquely holds (Ali and Crystal come close, too). I can’t think of a single other player who carries her mental strength and her humility, especially when faced with disappointments or rejections. Whenever she’s on the field, she’s always giving 110% to her team and is the most authentic player on the pitch. I think she deserved better than what she was given, but knowing her, she’ll only see this as another roadblock to overcome and it’ll push her to do her best for the 2021 NWSL season.

I know it’s an emotional thought to imagine, but I’d like to think that Ash called or texted Jane/AD to congratulate them, wished them both all the best, and then wrapped AK and Sloane in the biggest, most loving hug sandwich possible. 

[honey-dewey]

Random Dewey Finn headcanons (?) I came up with while eating my breakfast

Before Dewey wanted to be a big rock star, he wanted to be an astronaut. 

His aunt gave him his first guitar for his 10th birthday, thus sparking his love of rock music. 

One of the major reasons he never quit music was because of that aunt. She passed away early, and was constantly the only member of his family that truly believed in him. 

Dewey’s mum was kind of absent, so he was raised primarily by his dad. 

Dewey and Ned met on the first day of high school, and were inseparable for all four years. 

Despite both of them liking both, Dewey likes Star Wars more, while New prefers Star Trek. They have debates of epic proportion over which of these preferences is better. Dewey somehow always wins. 

One of the reasons Ned let Dewey live with him is because Dewey is an amazing cook. He never eats what he makes though. 

His specialty is breakfast foods

While he may be an amazing home cook, he’s an even better baker. 

Dewey is highly sensitive to textures, especially food and fabrics. 

Because of this, he rarely tries new foods, sticking to a decently firm schedule. (He really likes hard boiled eggs) 

It’s also why he likes sweater vests. The actual sweater doesn’t touch his skin, but he can rub his hands up and down the knit when he gets overwhelmed. 

He’s also sensitive to criticism. Along with that, he cries easily. 

After the whole School of Rock incident, Dewey did some quick online classes on teaching. When a music teacher position at Horace Green opened up, he was the first one contacted to fill it. 

During SoR shows, Dewey has a tendency to get very hyped, and this eventually leads to a collapse, usually on the bus ride home. It happened once on stage, where he just went still and quiet all of a sudden and then began to panic. 

All of his kids know exactly what to do during his collapses. 

They made him (yes made him) a stress doll. It weighs about twenty pounds and looks like a panda. They lay it across Dewey’s chest and let him lie down on a blanket. The kids then surround him to make a protective barrier. It’s a very effective method. 

It took almost thirty years for Dewey to get diagnosed with mild autism, anxiety, ADD, and seasonal depression. His mother was a firm believer that mental illness was a hoax. 

He did try and take medication for it, right when he started teaching full-time. It made him nauseous and tired and so unlike himself that he quit after three months, a decision that was fully backed by his students. 

He eventually did go back and get a new prescription for his ADD. It works surprisingly well and doesn’t make him act any less like himself. 

This isn’t even a Headcanon. It’s straight up actual canon from the Broadway.com Stick it to the Man video! Dewey stims! He knocks his wrists together and does the raptor hands! (I don’t think his hands were truly by his side at any point during the entire show) He taps his feet and shakes his hands! His facial expressions are always on 10 and he scronches his face when he’s excited! His head go bop! He’s a stimming Boi!

Also have you ever seen a neurotypical person dress like that? Ever? Nope. Sweater vests and jeans and sneakers (that look like heelys) is not a neurotypical outfit. 

Dewey doesn’t like rainy weather, nor does he like the cold bite of winter. He has a heater and a happy light in his classroom for rainy and/or cold days. 

His favorite season is fall. He really really likes to step on leaves and hear that satisfying crunch. 

Dewey also has a weakened immune system, and is pretty vigilant about his health. He takes vitamins and vitamin D supplements, and yet always ends up with some kind of illness in winter. Despite this, he refuses to get any kind of flu shot. 

Dewey’s list of phobias includes: needles, heights, clowns, and the dark. 

He’s dead terrified of the dentist. Ned has to practically drag him every time. It’s not even that he has poor dental hygiene or has actual odontophobia, he just hates the experience. The combination of strong smells and uncomfortable touches and horrible noises overwhelms him so much. 

For much of the same reasons as his hatred of the dentist, Dewey dreads getting his hair cut. Social interaction mixed with weird feelings on his surprisingly sensitive head and the constant background noise and the hair spray-y smell make it an experience Dewey’s hated since childhood. Now, Ned usually cuts Dewey’s hair because he’s really not picky about how it looks, and Ned knows exactly how to go about the job without causing Dewey to hyperventilate and cry. 

He uses a night light! It’s the fun kind that projects stars on the ceiling. 

Dewey is the king of field trips. He’s always just as eager as the kids to go, and he loves to learn niche facts. His favorite field trip location is the aquarium. 

Dewey quit drinking after his 23rd birthday, when he blacked out and woke up in some random girl’s bed. She promised they didn’t do it, but ever since then, he’s terrified it’ll happen again. 

Speaking of which, Dewey’s a virgin. 

Once, one of Dewey’s female students came to him and said an older man was following her to and from school every day. Dewey was later suspended from work for a week for punching a man and putting him in the hospital. Once they knew why, the school board unanimously decided not to punish him. 

Dewey absolutely insists all of his kids call him Dewey and not Mr. Finn. 

He’s the most supportive teacher in the entire school. He’s got name tags on every desk with each kid’s preferred name and pronouns. When Billy comes out as non-binary, he makes the pronoun switch immediately and puts a beautiful stained glass-esque progress pride flag in one of his windows. 

Someone hatefully vandalized said pride art project and Dewey actually cried. His kids all banded together to make a new one. 

Sometimes, the kids purposefully ask Dewey to sing certain things because his voice gets so damn tender and beautiful, as opposed to the usual bombastic singing they’re used to. (Think like. Some of the 35MM songs) 

Dewey has a routine with his drinks throughout the day. Two cups of coffee in the morning, one at home and one at work. One water bottle before lunch and one after lunch. A Gatorade or some other fitness drink after school, usually during band practice to make up for how sweaty he gets. And one cup of lavender citrus tea with extra honey after dinner. 

He broke his only water bottle about four months into teaching full-time and started to use a plastic one every day. Ned decided that wouldn’t do, and got him a Mandalorian water bottle. Dewey loves it to bits. 

Dewey doesn’t celebrate any one version of a holiday. He’s equal opportunity for any and all holidays, but he grew up Jewish. That doesn’t stop him from helping Ned put up his Christmas tree every year. Nor does it stop him from celebrating Yule with his online friends. 

Despite being Jewish and mainly celebrating their holidays, Dewey loves Christmas music and starts playing it as soon as he can. The kids dare him to hit those ridiculous Mariah Carey high notes in All I Want For Christmas. He does it. 

He also once sang ‘Little Drummer Boy’ to his kids the day before holiday break. He only played his guitar softly and by the time he was done, each and every kid was fast asleep. (He played Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer as well) 

Dewey absolutely collects soft blankets. He has four halloween ones, two Tim Burton ones (a Beetlejuice and a Corpse Bride), eight winter holiday blankets, and three miscellaneous. He brought them all into class once and built a blanket fort to teach his kids about ancient civilization. 

Speaking of which, his teaching methods are unorthodox at best, and at worst downright crazy. But he always teaches and he always makes it memorable. His class has the highest test scores in the school. 

Dewey usually teaches using music or hands on activities. He plays soft background music during every class no matter the circumstances, and said screw the building’s lights and uses primarily lamps and strings of Christmas lights. 

He also kind of forgets that he teaches essentially middle school, and he swears every so often when he’s super passionate. Like when he taught the kids about the US Presidents and called Andrew Jackson a racist bitch and Richard Nixon a lying bastard. 

After getting bullied throughout all of high school, Dewey came to terms with what his body looked like, and now he really doesn’t care. (He did have a lot of fun smashing the scale his mother got him for his birthday once) 

Dewey was supposed to teach his kids about mental illness for a suicide prevention thing the school did, but got about halfway through before he had a breakdown and the kids declared the rest of the day a bust. They watched cute animated movies instead of learning for the rest of the school day. 

Speaking of animated movies, Dewey really loves Studio Ghibli. 

The first time one of his kids called him ‘Dad’ he cried. Then they kept doing it and now he’s had to accept that he’s basically a father to about 30 11-year-olds. 

If you ask any kid in the school who their favorite teacher is, they will not hesitate to answer ‘Mr. Finn.’ Even if they aren’t in his class, he’s their favorite. 

Dewey’s classroom is always open for lunch. It’s quiet and calm, usually with a movie going in the background. 

He also stays after school for about an hour every day, helping kids with homework. He hates math with a passion but that didn’t stop him from trying to figure out Katie’s math homework with her. 

Even at home, Dewey cannot stand the quiet. He either has his headphones on or the radio going. Silence just isn’t an option. 

Dewey once got pneumonia and tried to come in to work anyway. The kids made him go home. He didn’t really put up much of a fight. 

The first instrument Dewey ever learned to play was the piano. He started to learn when he was super young, and that was how he learned how to read music. His kids didn’t even know he knew how to play until they walked in on him practicing one day. 

Dewey says ‘fuck gender roles’ and wears the girl’s skirts to a few SoR concerts. He likes the way it makes his legs look. 

Some jerk parents constantly tried to get Dewey in trouble for months because they didn’t like him and thought he wasn’t ‘high class’ enough for their kid’s education. Dewey was so stunned when they showed up during one of his classes that he couldn’t speak and just started to cry. Said student stood up and called their parents out. Two days later, those parents were off the school board. 

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, Dewey found out a new kid he’d received was being abused at home because they weren’t getting high enough grades and he yelled at the kid’s parents in front of all the other staff members. 

Essentially, Dewey can’t defend himself at all, but will not hesitate to protect his kids. 

Dewey has said multiple times he would die for his kids. He’s always 100% serious, especially during lockdown drills. 

Once, the school had a lockdown that wasn’t a drill, and Dewey managed to keep his entire class silent and calm while mentally preparing himself to lay his life down for his kids. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. 

Dewey’s also said he’d seriously consider adopting any of the kids if their at-home situation was that bad. 

When he finally could, Dewey moved out of Ned’s house and into his own cramped loft apartment. He’s in love with the apartment, even though it’s tiny and kinda smells. 

Dewey has almost no concept of volume control. He’s slightly deaf from constantly doing very loud shows and sometimes shouts because he thinks that’s a normal speaking volume. 

As one of, if not the actual, youngest teachers at the school, Dewey is universally adored by the rest of the staff. It took a while for all of them to get on board with him, but now they all really like him. 

Dewey’s favorite fruit is pomegranate. There’s just something super cathartic about cutting into a pomegranate and slowly de-seeding it. Plus, it tastes super good. But he only likes them if he can de-seed them himself. 

One of the ways Dewey grounds himself is by pressing things to his mouth. He usually just puts his hand up on his face or the end of a pen in his mouth, but whenever he has a blanket, one corner is up against his lips. The same goes for stuffed animals. They’re always against his face. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. 

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 19th, Thursday 17:13

„Lucas is here!!“

„Alright sweety, I think everyone on the street has heard that now.“ His mother assured her loudly as she herself got up to follow her daughter to the door. Jens was only half listening, he was thinking. About Tuesday. About yesterday. About every day to come.

„It’s good to see you again, Lucas. How are you?“

„Really great actually, thank you, hope you too?“ There was some rustling of clothes and shuffling of feet coming from the entrance, Jens couldn’t see from where he sat in the corner or the living room.

„Bit suffering under the weather, but that’s alright.“ His mother replied, the front door fell shut.

„Understandable.“ The three, his mother, Lotte and his boyfriend, almost had made it back into the livingroom. „Oh, I actually bought cake on my way over. We can have it for dessert. Or before for tea.“

„That’s so kind. But I already like you, no need for bribes.“ His mother joked, chuckling even as she took something from Lucas that sounded like paper? Plastic? Jens didn’t look up yet, he was busy staring down on the keys and his hands.

„Well, I’ll probably do something stupid at one point, better keep stacking up some plus points.“ Both of them sounded pleased. And Lotte said something, he didn’t catch, before the chairs scratched over the floor.

„Wow, I didn’t know you played. I thought this was a recording.“

He stopped, his fingers lingering on top of the keys of the old wooden upright piano. Lucas squeezing himself next to Jens on the little black bench shouldn’t have startled him as much. He obviously had heard him come over. He still needed a second to catch up. So he pulled his hands away, to let them sink into his lap, turning his head towards Lucas. 

How long hadn’t they seen each other? Merely a couple of days. 

He had missed this pretty face. The world appeared a bit brighter now.

„I’m not nearly good enough, as I super rarely play, but thanks, I guess.“ Jens told him, smiling lightly at the boy, who went to rest his hand on Jens’s tigh. Close enough that their fingers touched.

„Lucas, first of all he is lying, he is really good. He is just a dumb teenage boy who thought one day that piano lessons are for loosers. And second of all, if you want to keep collecting brownie points, get him to do anything but play Schubert again. He has been playing the same piece for two hours. It has to stop.“

„Yes, Lucas, please!“

Lotte strong heartedly supported their mother’s complaints, as they both turned their heads to plead with Lucas, who was very much amused in return. Nodding strongly.

„I was playing more than one piece, and you two know it.“ Jens was lying, he had played a couple of pieces first, until Minuet in A Major let him think clearly and then he basically had looped it until now. Problem was, the piece was only three minutes long, so he could see their point.

„Then play something else for me.“ Lucas suggested so cheery that Jens obviously couldn’t refuse. 

„Okay. What do you want?“

„Mhm, what can you play? Anything comes to mind, looking at my beautiful face.“

Jens’s eyes darted over to his mother and his sister sitting at the dining table, englufed in Lotte’s homework. If they had heard Lucas, they didn’t commented about it.

„Schumann?“ He said, letting his gaze fall back to Lucas’s eyes not having lost an ounce of his excitment.

„I have zero clues about classical music, dude, so play away.“

That’s what he did, raising his hands again to fall into place. Muscle memory so much stronger then he would like to admit. He didn’t had to think long about the right notes and rythym. He wasn’t sure why it had come to mind, but he hoped the boy would enjoy it enough to sit through the next couple of minutes.

Jens really hadn’t need to worry about that, as when he finished and turned his head, he found his boyfriend watching him mesmerised. He could have probably fucked the whole piece up and still managed to make Lucas happy. Jens would be lying if he wouldn’t acknowledge that he was blushing faintly.

„What is it called?“ Lucas whispered. Why he did, Jens couldn’t figure out.

„Eh, Widmung, opus 25, number 1.“ Thank god, as he was glad to have remembered it correctly. His mother or Lotte would definitely have corrected him there. And wouldn’t that have been awkward?

„Yea this doesn’t help at all, but I liked it a lot.“ Lucas grinned, now speaking louder again, never taking his eyes off Jens, as he went on. „Perhaps I’m a bit biased though. Still thank you.“

„Anytime.“ Jens smirked, feeling a little proud to have been able to impress his boyfriend.

„So what kind of music do you actually listen too, I doubt it’s just classical music all day.”

„How do you know I don’t?“ Jens replied feighing shock at Lucas’s absolute correct assumption.

„Oh, I don’t know, you just don’t look like a posh piano lover to me.“ His boyfriend’s expression was way to comfortable in his teasing.

„Aha.“ Jens felt already better, now that he was back into familiar banter with Lucas, after long days of dull sadness drowning him.

„Mhm.“ Lucas doubled down, without much words, but it made Jens to actually answer him.

„Well, I listen to a lot of r&b, you know, hiphop, rab kinda genres. Kendrik Lamar, Childish Gambino, Logic. To list some better known artists.”

„Of course you do, my youtuber skater boy.“

„Stop.“ Jens laughed as he watched the grin widen on Lucas’s face. „If I’m such a cliche, what are you listening to then, huh?“

„Ehm, a lot of indie music, acoustic versions, I’d say. I don’t think you would know them.“

„Much pretentious, aren’t we.“ Jens replied, getting nudged by Lucas, causing him almost to fall off the bench, that still was barely large enough to fit them both.

„What? Not at all.“ Lucas defended himself using the second of Jens readjusting himself on the bench, to link his arm lightly with Jens’s. 

Apparently Lucas didn’t mind being seen and obviously it was just his mother and his sister, so why was Jens not more casual about it? He really should stop worrying about it.

„You tell yourself that.“ He smirked instead, yanking Lucas lightly were they were now linked by the elbow. 

„And what else? Like what is something that comforts you, or is it really just r&b all day, every day?“ Lucas’s questions just kept coming.

„No, I enjoy classical music, immensly. Going to concerts and such. But something else would be nordic folk. Folk in general.“

„And you call me pretentious?” Lucas asked accusatory, leaning back from Jens in wonder, as the slight smile didn’t leave his lips, his mouth open. „The audacity.“

„Guilty. What about you then?“ 

„Ah lot’s of disco and funk. Some pop. 70s, 80s, you know. The good stuff.“

„Jesus.“ 

This was taking turns Jens hadn’t expected. Not that he would mind listening to whatever Lucas would put on. He’d probably be able to enjoy it nonetheless. But they barely had anything in common, other than maybe folk and indie, did they? This surely would be fun to figure out on long car rides.

„It’s great music. Sander and me are very much on the same page there, give or take some artists, we can’t agree on. Robbe was so close to throw us out that saturday I stayed over.“

„I can imagine.“ Jens completely was with his best friend there. Lucas and Sander passionately arguing over 70s music. No thank you. „I have to ask, how old are you, again?“

„Shut up. Third question.“ Lucas replied, shaking his head.

„More?“ Jens was pretty sure they had covered everything. He was wrong though.

„Third question. What is something you listen to, when you are one hundred percent sure, no one you know is around to see you vibing to it.“

Jens laughed. Loud and absolutely done with his boyfriend and his little interview. 

„Tell me.“ Lucas pleaded, pursing his lips, as he leaned in closer. Fuck.

„I love Doja Cat. And Ashnikko“ Jens tried so hard to stay confident in his answer, because not even Robbe had seen Jens put it on. He only ever safely lipsynched parts of her songs at parties, where alcohol was involved. Or all in its entirety alone in his room.

„I have no clue who that is.“ Lucas said, clearly a bit more somber now that he couldn’t make fun of Jens, as he didn’t know the artist that well. Thank god.

„I’m sure you have heard some songs of them. But yea they are some powerful woman. I know practically every word to their songs, and if you tell anyone else I’ll kill you.“

„Well, now I need to see you sing them.“ Lucas was back in his element of making Jens’s live harder, as the smirk returned on his lips.

„Nope.“ Jens cut off any further demands, before it was too late. „Who do you secretly listen to?“

„This is embarrasing but I was and still am a One Direction fan.“ Oh yes, this was good. Jens would never let Lucas forget that he had told him this. „I also may or may not have had, and still have, a crush on Harry Styles. So sorry, but you are out, the second I get a chance.“

„Wow, thank you.“ Jens laughed, pecking a kiss on the pouting lips of Lucas. Who tried his hardest to keep himself from falling into giggling with Jens.

He had actually forgotten that the weren’t alone when his mother’s voice came from the other side of the big space inside his house. Loud enough to stare at Lucas in shock. 

The boy next to him just shrugged his shoulders amused.

„How about you put some of these songs on, that you so dearly love apperently. And Lotte and me can find out who actually has some taste in music.“

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

I thought long about the type of music they would listen too. We obviously hadn’t had a season to find out, other than the song Lucas and Kes danced to in S1. I hope that you wouldn’t be too bothered by my choices here. I just always need songs to get into my character’s heads and these are the directions it went in. thank you for continuing to read my story! i love all of you!

[isaacthedruid]

Steven Universe’s Representation and Music: an informal essay

As the first animated Cartoon Network show created entirely by a woman, Steven Universe’s run lasted for five seasons, a movie and a sequel-epilogue series. The show was far from perfect and its fandom wasn’t the best either but there is something so special about a show that followed lesbian space rocks and a young boy saving the world.

More specifically Steven Universe is about a young boy named Steven, who is half-Gem, half-human who protects the town of Beach City from evil. Gems are a kind of alien who take on the form of pastel-coloured women, to better assimilate with the rest of the world.

Rebecca Sugar, the creator, explains her colourful characters in a behind-the-scenes promo:

“I always dreamed of making a show that would have this mix of fantasy and reality. So, I wanted to make these fantasy characters that enjoy being with Steven as much, if not more than they enjoy being fantasy characters. The characters aren’t perfect and that’s what makes them so great.”

Steven’s family are known as the Crystal Gems, a group of rebels who fought against their government thousands of years ago and now live on earth. Steven’s mom, Rose Quartz was at the forefront of the fight, she did extremely terrible things and when she gave up her gem—-so Steven could be born—-she was left unable to form a body ever again. Steven, with only his dad and three alien women, must attempt to fix her messes and deal with the repercussions of his mother’s actions.

One of the main mechanics within the series is known as fusion, in which two or more Gems become a single being who is stronger and more powerful. The fused form takes on the physical, mental and emotional aspects of those who are part of the bond. As mentioned and discussed many times within this blog, fusions are a physical embodiment of different kinds of relationships. And for a show starring a primarily female cast, they do not shy away from using this mechanic to tell queer stories.

So explicitly that in 2018, the show had the first-ever lesbian wedding in a cartoon. Of course, representation wasn’t always as accepted in Steven Universe. Just two years before the big wedding, higher-ups at Cartoon Network told Rebecca Sugar, they not happy with the multiple queer relationships, so much so that they were ready to threaten cancellation.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, she expressed:

“If this is going to cost me my show that’s fine because this is a huge injustice and I need to be able to represent myself and my team through this show and anything less would be unfair to my audience.”

Being LGBT herself, identifying as bisexual and non-binary, representation is important to her. For many queer people, especially grown-ups, they hope to see themselves represented in kids’ media today as they never had growing up. They want nothing more for children’s shows to say that being “different” or not fitting in with our heteronormative society is actually normal.

Within Steven Universe, you can find woman-loving-woman relationships, non-binary and intersex characters, woman-loving-non-binary relationships, asexual coded characters and basically every other letter in the acronym.

Rebecca Sugar even acted as the exciting force for LGBT inclusion within Adventure Time, originally working as a writer and storyboard artist before leaving to create her own show. She pushed for making the ex-romantic queer couple to be canonically part of the story and for it to not just coded into the dialogue.

A few years later, she returned to the show, multiple times, to compose over 20 songs that would air over the series 10-year-long run such as, “I’m Just Your Problem” which had lesbian subtext that would be confirmed later.

Some other iconic songs including “Fry Song“, “Remember You“, “Good Little Girl“, “Everything Stays” and even the finale song, “Time Adventure“.

Much like the show as a whole, there is something so special about the music she writes. In total, there were over 160 songs written for the franchise, some being short little tunes, no longer than a minute while others were full-blown musical numbers. No matter, all of them have their place within the show. Often when the character can’t express lines through speech, music is utilized to provide a more raw and poignant portrayal of their emotions.

Why Steven Universe is so widely loved is due to the music, as the overall story is not even close to perfect. Yet, everyone can agree on one thing, the music is unbelievably good. What is interesting is the different styles of melodies and backtracking used in the various songs, even more impressive is that every character has their own instrumental motif.

Steven’s motif is the ukelele as he is often seen playing the instrument himself, performing short little melodies and even writing the in-show version of the theme song. Additionally, Steven’s music uses a large amount of Chiptune synth, electronic music which is created using a programmable sound generator. Both instruments have a very childlike feeling to them, Chiptune especially as it is normally used in video game music like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, one of the main musical inspirations for the show. As Steven is the lead, most of the music has Chiptune somewhere in the score and fun fact, the first song in the show, sung by Steven, “Cookie Cat” was actually written on an old Gameboy.

Amethyst is very loud and fun, her motif is electric drums which is extremely reflective of her character. As she can be angry from convincing herself that she is not good enough to happy and giggling from pranking Steven, her instrument can be used in so many ways as she is not a simple character. No matter what, for the few songs Amethyst has on her own (or in the score), her drums provide such an interesting emotional response to the situation.

Garnet is a fusion, so her motif is actually the combination of two instruments. Ruby is a drumbeat as she is a fiery and loud character, she is chaotic while Sapphire is her opposite. Sapphire is calm and collected, she has ice-related powers and is represented by Synth music. The characters together have a perfect unity, expressed by Garnet’s synth bass sounds, she is the equilibrium of two very contrasting characters. The music associated with Garnet, uses primarily the synth bass but Ruby and Sapphire’s individual instruments can be heard throughout her music. All three instruments are also heavily representative as Garnet’s main dancing style is Hip Hop which clashing with others’ softer dancing styles.

Despite, not being alive during the show, Rose Quartz still has her own musical motif as she plays a large part in Steven’s growth throughout the series. As well as being in many flashbacks, she is represented with strings, more specifically, the violin. Rose’s story is rather sad which quite is visible within her associated music, yet, she was also an extremely powerful character as she led the fight against the Homeworld government. Her strength can be heard with strong uplifts and swells in the music. She is never seen playing an instrument unlike the rest of the main characters but one person who plays hers is Pearl, a character Rose was possibly in love with.

For the complex and beautiful character, Pearl, her motif is classical and swing piano. She is visually represented as a ballerina for a large majority of the series, dressed in a leotard, a small skirt and ballet shoes. Apart from Garnet, she is one of the calmest characters in the show. She is a perfectionist and is knowledgeable on many topics. She has a dark past and her fair share of trauma, all of this is wrapped up in her music. From her traumatic past with Rose Quartz, the violin had been heard throughout her music, yet, when she finally dealt with everything, the violin was lost. Swapped out for a new instrument, a bass guitar which she learned how to play at the end of the series. Pearl is a character who has been through a lot and her music reflects it. As she grew, her music changed with her, becoming her own instead of something built off of Rose’s.

My personal favourite song is “It’s Over Isn’t It?” which is this heartwrenching and emotionally painful ballad sung by a broken woman. Pearl was in love with Steven’s mom. Yet, the feelings were not mutual or at least ended being reciprocated as Rose left her for Greg, Steven’s dad. It hurts because Rose didn’t just leave her, Rose Quartz also passed away. As the song goes:

That they didn’t really matter until you I was fine when you came And we fought like it was all some silly game Over her, who she’d choose After all those years, I never thought I’d lose … You won and she chose you and she loved you and she’s gone It’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on? … Who am I now in this world without her? Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her What does it matter? It’s already done Now I’ve got to be there for her son

Without Rose, Pearl has lost her place in the world as all she ever knew was her. Yet, now she is left to help raise a half-human baby and go on with her life. It makes it more difficult as this baby is the product of Rose and the man that she left Pearl for.

Pearl doesn’t want to hate Greg, she is angry at him but she doesn’t have hatred towards him. They may not be the best of pals at the start of the series but in the song called “Both of You“ has Steven, finally, begging for Greg and Pearl to just talk to each other.

Why don’t you talk to each other? Why don’t you talk to each other? Just give it a try Why don’t you talk about what happened? … You might not believe it but you got a lot in common, you really do You both love me and I love both of you … I know you both need it Someone who knows what you’re going through

An interesting thing about this song is that Steven is this to them, the person with Rose’s gem is singing to the two people who fought over Rose. It makes me wonder if this could be Rose speaking through Steven to her two loved ones. Whether it is or not, doesn’t really matter to the overall story but it is a fun idea to look at.

Overall, these songs are a literal representation of dealing with ones’ emotions in a healthy way, something that Steven Universe actively tries to teach their younger viewers about.

To say Steven Universe is a good show only for its music would be a false statement, it’s one of the strongest aspects but without the story or the characters, the music would fall flat and not have any of its passion.

[tipsycad147]

IMBOLC – MOVING FORWARD

by thegypsy

Imbolc (Imbolg) was one of the most important festivals of the ancient Celts.  To put it simply, it was a celebration of winter’s end and the emerging light half of the year.  The event marked the halfway point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox.   Our Celtic ancestors had just survived another winter and all of it’s hardships and were preparing to once again work the land, their flocks, and sharpen their weapons for raiding and combat.  After months of being sheltered with limited contact, everyone was anxious to get out into the world once again and enjoy the social aspects of community life.  Imbolc 2021, begins on February 1st, ending the following day.

The origins of the name Imbolc could be one of two.  One from ‘i mbolg’, which translates as ‘in the belly’ and the other ‘Oimelc’, which translates to “ewe’s milk.” Our forefathers were mainly farmers, but they were also heavily dependent on livestock for milk and meat.  The pregnancy of ewes was a central tenant of this event.  The celebration portion of Imbolc had many aspects and varied across the lands we now know as Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.  Imbolc was first mentioned in Irish literature from the 10th century.   Poetry from that time relates the holiday to ewe’s milk, implying purification.

Our Imbolc ritual is written to be performed outdoors around a fire.  Dress warm and stay safe.

What you’ll need to prepare for this ritual (as written)

Large Quarter Candles (4 total) in these colors – Red (South,) Yellow (East,) Green (North,) and Blue (West) Small Quarter Candles that will fit on your altar (same 4 colors) Goddess Candle – Large White Candle (I use a three wick candle for the Goddess) Parchment and pencils for everyone Gold Taper Candle to pass the flame Winter greens (pine, mistletoe, etc.) Bonfire or fire circle

Any portion of the ritual that is bracketed with <> refers to instructions and should not be spoken aloud.

Our Imbolc Ritual

<Opening Statement – A call to action for the participants to stop talking, gather, and prepare to begin the ritual>

“To the skies and across lands, we call out to our fellow believers in complete trust and faith, to acknowledge this sacred circle and the sanctity that it provides”

Join us as we Call the Quarters

East

We turn to the EAST, the direction of the rising sun and the new hope that comes with another day.  We welcome the great spirits of AIR to our circle, to inspire us and transport our thoughts and intentions throughout the lands and beyond.  <light yellow candle>

South

In the SOUTH, the direction of never-ending heat and light that provides the stability and comfort to our lives.  We welcome the great spirits of FIRE to our circle, to provide the necessary spark that ignites the passions to grow, develop, and become a better version of ourselves.  <light red candle>

West

Now look to the WEST, the direction of constant rhythmic movement that eases our minds in times of discord.  We welcome the great spirits of WATER to our circle, to remind us that all things move in different directions, but with time and patience, return to a balance point again. <light blue candle>

North

And finally, turn to the NORTH, the direction of structure and form that shows us nothing is impossible.  We welcome the great spirits of EARTH to our circle, to be in a constant state of readiness for the next moment of creation, whether that be on a grand scale or simply a new direction in our own lives. <light green candle>

Goddess

Great Goddess Brigid, tonight we gather to celebrate Imbolc and all it’s wonderment.  Soon the lands will be sprinkled in emerging greenery, tiny sounds of emerging forest creature, and the bleating of the lambs.  We ask for your blessings as we celebrate the coming spring.  After our long hibernation period, we are ready to break ground and plant our crops, gather early forage foods, and smile at the blessings you have given us. <light goddess candle>

Music of Imbolc

It’s become a Gypsy Thread tradition that we take a few moments at the beginning of each ritual to enjoy a musical selection.  Tonight’s selection is called Cernunnos Rising by George Nicholas.  Cernunnos is the great Horned God who protects the forests and is resurrected in the spring at the time of Imbolc to impregnate the fertile Goddess of the land, for the benefit of all living creatures.

Welcome

Our Celtic ancestors were primarily and agriculture-based society and they developed an extensive understanding of the seasonal changes that the earth would go through each year.  The Celtic calendar was very simple, being divided into 4 equal parts, each with its own celebration.  Samhain, which was celebrated at the end of October was the Celtic New Year and the time when harvesting was being finalized and preparations for winter made.  Imbolc came next, which was focused on the herds and celebrated the coming of Spring. Next came Beltane at the beginning of May, which marked the coming of summer and the time of planting.  And finally Lughnasadh in August, which marked beginning of both the fall season and the beginning of the harvest.

The four major Celtic celebrations all had fire as a key element.  On Imbolc, the focus wasn’t on a giant central bonfire as with Samhain or Beltane but rather used symbolically to demonstrate the returning of the light.  The lighting of candles, lamps, and bonfires represents the return of the Sun and all it’s glorious blessings.  We’ll begin tonight’s festivities with a candle ritual.

Candle Ritual

To mark the sun returning and the upcoming Spring, we’d like to start by having a simple candle ritual.  Even though it’s still freezing in most of the country, we are warmed by the thoughts of longer days and more sunlight.

We open and close every ritual with the red, yellow, green, and red candles in the cardinal directions, and a white candle representing the Goddess and her many names.  Tonight we shall light a second set of candles, one in each direction and then each participant will also share in the eternal flame by adding another layer of light.

<place the 4 smaller directional candles on the altar in correct orientation – the ritual leader may enlist assistance to help light candles during this step>

“All things worthy and valuable come from the Goddess.  When we are in need, she provides for us.  When we are blind, she provides light, so that we may see.  When our bellies are empty, she guides us to forage in the forest.  When we are thirsty, a stream suddenly appears.  In return for this bounty, we are expected to care for the land, keep the water pure, and share with our community so that all may live in peace and harmony”

<Ritual leader lights the gold candle from the Goddess candle – it is used to transfer the flame to this second set of candles>

We light the Yellow Candle of the East to honor the rising of the sun.  Although it is dark now, we know that soon the horizon will glow with the illumination of another day.  Blessed Be!

We light the Red Candle of the South to honor the home and hearth fires.  The hearth fire is the heart of the home and the central gathering point for the family.  Blessed Be!

We light the Blue Candle of the West to honor the lakes, streams, and waterways.  Water is the blood of existence which binds us but also cleanses our wounds and transgressions.  Blessed Be!

We light the Green Candle of the North to honor the lands and the livestock.  We are bound to this earth and it is our duty to protect it from those who wish to exploit it.  Blessed Be!

Lighting candles reminds us of that which is important, and worth remembering.  Watch as the flames dance with all the mysteries of the universe.  Focus your thoughts on the things that truly matter as we enter into a new season.  Plant your seeds and tend your flocks with balance and care in mind.  You are your own inspiration.

The Burning of the Greens – Moving Forward

As we move forward into the season of spring, we must cleanse and purify ourselves and all things that are part of our personal space.  It’s a time to release negativity from our homes, our hearts, and our community.  We are about to enter the season of optimism and hope, and we must free ourselves from the clutter or winter and prepare for the light of a new day.

Our Yule Greens are dried and have long since lost their color and scent.  They served us well as symbols of the winter and Yule; both of which are behind us.  As we welcome the spring, we symbolically mark the occasion by burning the last of the greens as an offering the the Goddess.

<Pass out greens>

“As we burn the last of the winter greens, we offer praises to Brigid as the smoke rises to the sky.  We choose to release the clutter and noise of winter and exchange it for the beauty and tranquility of spring.  With that clutter we also release all negativity in our lives.”

<allow each person to step up to the fire and burn their greens and bathe in the smoke>

As we release, we create space for that which is new and necessary.  Not all things will come immediately and our space may remain unfilled for days or even months.  We must protect that space and not allow negativity to once again creep into it.  For this we look to the coming spring and the Goddess Brigid for guidance.

Imbolc is the time of the year for hope and renewal.  It’s a good time to place a reaffirmation of life, and a time to plant seeds and dreams for the future.   It’s also a time for affirmation and wishes.  Write down your wishes, or what things you’d like to accomplish in the coming year.  Once you’ve completed your list, burn it in the fire.  The smoke will carry your wishes to Brigid.

<Ritual leader should allow time for each person to burn their wishes>

Cakes & Ale

If the weather is favorable, use this time to share food and drink around the fire before the circle closes (optional).

Closing the Imbolc Circle

Once again we turn to the North to honor the great spirits of the Earth – we look for your guidance in managing our flocks, and sowing the seeds when the ground thaws – bless us and keep each of us safe as we begin another season of working the earth.  <extinguish green can

We turn to the West to once again sing our praises to the great spirits of Water – we trust that we shall be provided for and that our ponds and rivers are brimming throughout the season so that all may partake without concern of shortages.   <extinguish blue candle>

Now look to the South to sing high praises to the Fire spirits of the South, we are honored by your attentiveness throughout the winter months so that none have been without heat and light – we continue to be humbled by the power of your cleansing flames and the smoke that carries our troubles away. <extinguish red candle>

And last, we turn to the East and the spirits of Air – tonight, we have opened our doors and invited you in to clear the corners from the darkness of winter, sweeping out the old and unneeded both in our houses and our hearts – take away the clutter and debris so that we may reach our greatest and highest good. <extinguish yellow candle>

Great Goddess Brigid, we ask for your continued blessings in all that we do – Bless us with fertile fields, ample rain, and robust seed as we once again work the land – Thank you for your presence tonight! <extinguish Goddess candle>

“This Imbolc 2021 circle is open, yet never broken”

https://www.thegypsythread.org/imbolc-2021-moving-forward/

[outroshooky]

waiting for the sky to fall | jjk

⇢ genre: series; part one (i-saw-you-on-the-subway-every morning-this-week-and-i’m-possibly-in-love-with-you!au) (fluff)

⇢ pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

⇢ word count: 6.3k

⇢  warnings: brief instance of anxiety; probably too much rambling about how pretty jeongguk is when he exists like that

⇢ a/n: a dearest birthday present for the love of my life and platonic soulmate @guksheart. cait, i cannot believe we have been a part of each other’s lives for over a year now. i adore you so so much and i am so proud of the bold, compassionate, wonderfully gay, fierce yet gentle, considerate, accepting, lovely woman that you are. i would not trade our sisterhood for the world, and i still cannot believe that you are coming to new york in a mere matter of months. i can only hope that we’ll have adventures like this one when you do.

this is heavily inspired by the commute i took to visit my friend in the city over the summer!! kudos to columbia university for loaning me some much-needed inspiration, although i never fell in love with anybody on the way there.

part one of the verses and vibes series. part two will be uploaded on december 20, 2019.

“bright star, would i were stedfast as thou art—   not in lone splendour hung aloft the night   and watching, with eternal lids apart,   like nature’s patient, sleepless eremite,”

⤷ “bright star, would i were stedfast as thou art”; john keats

10:57pm.

Call it 11, it’s close enough.

Eleven o’clock in the evening.

A sacred time, those great appreciators of the universe would say. It is amazing how, as the wind caresses your hair with breezy fingers, there are some who walk the city streets below without pause. Some who cannot understand the sanctity of such a time, the security that comes with the blanket of nightfall— if you could call it nightfall in the heart of such a metropolis.

Below you beats a rhythm akin to the one in your soul, beneath the skin of your merely human chest. A home you’d heard so much about, fallen in love with before you’d even met, and god it couldn’t have felt more right. Over the edge of the balcony is utter chaos: taxi cabs honk an irregular staccato, the open! sign of the ramen shop one block over flickers its own neon melody. People shout, brakes screech, doors bang, dogs bark; to anybody else, it would be utter madness but to you- to you, it is simply home.

The ambient light mutes the glow of so many stars that pinprick the sky millions of miles above, arcing across the heavens in so many celestial designs. If you squint, you can pick out Casseopia, maybe even Ursa Major through the dim haze. The stars are far and few between, but it’s a quick glance to your left and right and you’re surrounded by majestic masterpieces, this time of a manmade design.

When you were younger, you used to muse that skyscrapers not only scraped the bright blue sky so far above, but supported the very cosmos itself with the slight curve in their arching backs. They bore the weight of the world, shouldering the immense task of keeping the stratosphere aloft. For a skyscraper to crumble was for the sky to fall, and yet you’d never seen one even waver in the wind.

Later, of course, you would learn that this was not the case. Earth herself kept the stratosphere in good health, and those wonderfully tall buildings existed as testaments to man’s great ability. However, there was a quiet part of you that still entertained the fantasy (as all of us do, in one way or another). And why not? It's moments like this, where you are surrounded by the dizzying breadth of the world out there and you can taste the sweetness of the universe’s ambrosia, that have you thinking twice about it all. Who says that we can't hold up the sky? Who says we don't spend our lives wondering, even if just a little bit, when the pillars will collapse and the sky itself will cave in one shuddering breath? Who decides when the Sun will burn, the Moon will freeze, when life as we know it tumbles to ash and dust?

“Baby?” His fingers interlock over yours, warm against the cool of the balcony railing. “Everything okay?”

His chest is warm against your back, grounding in its familiarity. You could name the planes and angles of his body like you could name the asterisms that freckle the night sky. He smells like cucumber soap when you turn and nuzzle into his neck, the damp locks of his hair tickling your forehead. You usually tease him when he’s post-shower like this, the bangs that tumble past his cheekbones giving the impression of a shaggy mop, but you spare him tonight. He squeezes over your hand, palm flush against your knuckles as your cheeks heat against his neck. 

“I’m fine,” you murmur. “Just taking a moment.”

Jeongguk tilts his head skyward, but he’s already got the universe in his eyes, wide and fawn. His chest rumbles when he speaks, soft velvet, a little gritty. “It's so beautiful out here.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” you raise your head to reply, brushing your nose to the column of his throat.

He’s got good composure but he's blushing now, between the lateness of the hour and the softness of your skin. He may smell of Dove and there’s a pimple dotting his cheek, but you’re stunning in the light and there’s a faint air of something sweet; if it’s your skin or your soul, he can’t decide. Perhaps both but he can’t help himself; his lips find your forehead and your eyes flutter shut. Contentment so simple, so lovely. 

His arm slides around your shoulders and the way you fit into his side is divine insistence. The other half you never knew you had, and yet at one time, it wasn’t this way. Hard to believe, but that’s the reality of it, and you never even knew he filled a gap in your heart until the deed was done, and there was nothing you could do to unplug the hole.

He kisses your temple and you kiss his shoulder, exposed by the dip of his t-shirt. “Come to bed, baby.”

“But it’s so nice out here,” you whine. 

“It’s late and you have class in the morning,” he coaxes quietly, his accented English gentle in your ears. “Come on.” His fingers slip from your own and you sigh, giving in.

“But you have to carry me inside.”

His eyes roll but he’s already stooping, and when he scoops you into his arms to press a kiss to your nose- he just can’t help himself- you poke his cheek and he grins a smile as warm as the lazy afternoon sun. “I love you.”

“I love you twice that amount.”

Jeongguk takes the balcony in stride, nudges the sliding door open with his foot. “Yeah, well I love you fifty times that amount. Squared.”

He kicks it closed behind him as you raise an eyebrow. “Cheater.”

“I’ll throw you on the bed, swear to god.”

“You’re mean,” You retort. 

“No I’m not.” He turns the light off on his way in, bumps the bedroom door shut with his impossibly slender hip. “I’ll be the big spoon if you take that back.”

Bedsheets under your fingertips. “Fine.”

It is hard to believe that, merely a year ago, you would be coming inside to an empty bed. Merely a year ago, your world would be silent, save the busy hum outside your apartment windows. Merely a year ago, you hadn’t a clue that your world was about to turn upside down, flipped on its axis and spun into chaos in ways you’d never even considered possible. Merely a year, but a lifetime spent sitting, waiting, wishing- twiddling your thumbs, chewing on your fingernails, anxiously hoping for something, anything.

And that’s when, exactly three-hundred and sixty-four days ago, the columns gave out in a rush of dust, the cosmos itself unraveling at the seams of early morning.

 Momentary silence, a stifled yawn. “Come cuddle.”

A sleepy, breathy, near-whisper. “Will you be the big spoon?”

Jeongguk chuckles, breath soft. “Always, baby girl. Always.”

one year before

There’s no better alarm clock than a caramel macchiato, sipped through tired lips and bleary eyes on the chaos of a Monday morning in the subway. You are far from a morning person, as evidenced by the death grip on your Starbucks cup, but you feel just a little more human with the help of four espresso shots and a pump of hazelnut. Having an off-campus apartment means it’s a roughly twenty minute subway ride between home and school, but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when there’s not much of a difference between the two.

To be frank, the city is home- a comfort you never expected, the subject of a thousand love letters never to be written but in the deepest cavities of your soul. The grime of the sidewalks, the gritty rumbling of the subways, artful graffiti and corner bubble tea and a little bit of pride, thrumming in the deepest recesses of necessity. The city in which you grew up is merely a square foot to the square acres that are your romping ground now.

The wires of your headphones snake around your scarf, bundled up around your shoulders. It is that wonderful time before fall bleeds over completely into winter, a lingering cool breath, and arguably the best season of all. Thus, you are perfectly comfortable underneath a warm jacket, backpack slung across your shoulder as you swipe your card, pass through the turnstiles and on to the waiting train just across the platform.

The subway car rattles beneath you with a groan, darkness rushing past in so many variants of orange from the neon lights that dotted the tunnels. Around you, bodies press tight on the morning commuter train; in any other circumstance, it would make you anxious, but there’s an odd feeling of security it grants. The train slows, pulling into the next station, and you focus your attention on the page of Madeline Miller’s latest bestseller.

At the next station, the car decompresses as travelers shift, and you are left a moment to breathe before the train will inevitably fill again, two stops from now. Next to you, a purple jacket brushes your shoulder. Just above the top of your book, a pair of black Timberlands pauses before turning towards you and settling. 

There really is no reason at all why these Timberlands would be special. There's no reason at all why your eyes find it necessary to track upwards, no reason why you should have glanced up from your delightful novel for the sake of one commuter’s settling. No reason at all why, as your eyes followed skinny jean-clad thighs to a leather jacket, and further, further.

His caramel-streaked hair brushes his cheekbones, styled in a way you’d typically call bedhead, but on him looks like art. His brow is soft yet defined, much like his jawline, cutting narrow. His lips are perfectly pink, a gentle pout, and his graceful nose a button. His shoulders are broad, the taper of his waist impossibly slender but hidden under the folds of his ridiculously oversized t-shirt. 

And his eyes- his eyes. 

You have poured over literature for hours upon hours, soaking in poetry and epics and novels alike, yet you have never understood what the poets meant until this very moment.

His eyes are the café au lait you sip on sunny afternoons, the sweetness of a chocolate bar, the warmth of a woolen blanket in wintertime. They glint with the light of a thousand stars but shine with the depth of a thousand galaxies, each and every one a testament to the great work of the universe. It is as if he holds the very cosmos in his pupils, and your breath is stolen from your lungs without a second thought. 

He is stunningly beautiful but goes completely unnoticed by everyone else in the car, it seems, as the train picks up speed. There is no greater punishment than tearing your gaze away from him when you realize you've been staring too long to be socially acceptable. You force yourself to return back to your novel but end up reading the same line five times over, too distracted by the shift of his heels, the way he toys with the straps of his rucksack. 

Part of you aches every time the train car fills, obscuring your view of the handsome stranger. Each time, you’re left wondering if he's moved, but each time, the crowds part to find him still seated on the garish plastic bench, glued to his iPhone. Your stop is the next and you can't help but feel anxious about getting up, about turning face and walking out of the train car. Your heart rattles an irregular tempo as you snap your book shut (still on the same page as twenty minutes ago), gather your things, and carefully stand amid the gently rocking car. He doesn't even look up at your sudden movement, and there's a part of you that is somehow irrationally crushed. 

The train grinds to a halt and the doors slide open, and you spare one last longing look before striding across the grimy tile, minding the gap between the train and the platform. Foolish of you to want to stop your day for the sake of an attractive stranger. Foolish of you to think his day would stop, either. 

With a muffled curse behind you, footsteps thud and voices grumble as a mop-haired boy with a rucksack on his shoulder bursts his way out of the train car, having nearly forgotten that this is his stop, too. When something brushes your arm as you jog up the stairs, you nearly drop your Starbucks with the realization that he is unintentionally keeping pace with you across the stairwell, lost behind the curtain of his fawn locks. 

Anxiety melts to curiosity as you weave through the station, matching pace all the while as you’re spit out onto the street from underground and walk the mere half block to your university gates. He hesitates under them, a touch of nerves, but shakes his head and continues on under the tree-covered path of the quad. You lose him somewhere by the Economics building, heading towards the library as you turn towards Hamilton Hall, but the excited thrill in your veins outweighs any and all disappointment.

You're practically glowing during 8am lecture, dancing on air through your lunch break when you think you spot him across the dining hall, but in fact it's just that guy from your math gen-ed. You’d never admit to a stranger consuming your thoughts, but here’s a nagging feeling at the back of your skull as you zip up your bag at the end of your day and head towards the corner station. 

A typical Monday indeed?

Anything but. 

It was certainly unconventional, the way you launched yourself out of bed the next morning in favor of tripping into a pair of jeans and dashing to fix your hair in the bathroom mirror. You haven't put so much effort into getting ready in months, and factoring in time for a dab of makeup left you skipping breakfast in favor of slinging your bag over your shoulder to rush out the door on time.

An iced Americano restores breath to your lungs, but does nothing to soothe the jitter in your bouncing knee as the train doors shut and a voice crackles over the intercom, unintelligible. A chocolate croissant is light on your tongue, memories of the flaky pastry crossing your mind only to be drowned out by thoughts of the next station and the promises it holds.

With no novel in hand, it is easy for your eyes to flick to the crowd as the train slows coming into the station. Effortlessly, you pick him out even with the white mask across the lower half of his face obscuring his nose and mouth. His visage is scrawled, it seems, on the inside of your eyelids; it danced throughout your Human Behaviors class, teased you through the late night of cramming for midterms. You hoped the concealer would cover the dark spots under your eyes, but you couldn't be certain.

As the doors slide open and the crowd surges forward, you lose him for a moment in the streams and flows of people coming and going. He appears just down the car, button-down rolled at the elbows, and even from a distance you feel your cheeks heat as he finds an empty seat just across the aisle.

Yesterday, his jacket hid him to the knuckles under the security of worn leather. But today, pushed sleeves reveal the ink snuggled tight around his wrist, curling its way up his forearm to snake hidden under the folds of the unbuttoned dress shirt he so casually threw over another plain black t-shirt. Sunflowers and daisies and blossoms you can't even name bloom in color across his skin, geometric designs etching sculpture into living marble. He is a magnum opus through and through, bearing so many works of art on the canvas of his flesh.

The white wires of his headphones leave him oblivious to the world, the galaxies in his pupils twinkling under the stark white light. He is wholly unbothered by a group of high school girls tittering to his left, the judging eyes of the older gentleman to his right. He simply exists in all of his beauty, whether the world wishes to love him or not.

And then his eyes find you.

It is only for a moment, but his gaze renders you breathless, mind spinning, pulse racing. He blinks owlishly, staring only for a second, two, but it's long enough to feel your heart ricochet around your chest, caged butterflies in your chest soar against the crest of your ribcage. They dart in tandem, beating their fragile wings with a fluttering pulse; you swear you’re reduced to a mere teenager at the sight of him, and that’s just ridiculous. The train car around you is suspended; it is hard to believe you are breathing the same air merely a few paces away, but you are and it is him and the depth of his soul is staring you blind in the face.

You don’t know him but you know him, all at once. He says a thousand sweet nothings with the shine of the lights in his eyes, promises commandments to keep when his lashes flutter against the apples of his cheeks. He is a complete stranger but somehow, someway, a known companion. His fingers twitch against the fabric of his jeans and you wonder what they would feel like wrapped around yours, memorizing every divot with a careful reverence. How they would brush your hip when he pulls you against his side, how they would pull at you craving more, more, more— 

A spice of cologne curls under your nose, a little floral, a little sweet. Perhaps it’s his, the scent that clings to his pillow in the morning and his jacket in the evening. The tap of the woman’s foot to your left is the beat of his footsteps on the creaky apartment floor as he announces he’s home, he’s brought dinner; life is simple and content—

He nods his head to the beat that flows quick through his headphones, eyes shut, in his own world. You can’t help but wonder what it would be like to share on your morning commute, fingers entwined with coffee in one hand but music in your heart—

Bodies around you ebb and flow, but the flurry is nothing compared to the images that swirl in front of you. Tracing his tattoos with the lightest touch, laughing till his nose scrunches at a shitty pun, early kisses and late-night touches. The warmth in his eyes when you do something stupid, the comfort in your arms around his shoulders when he’s doubting himself—

It’s a misplaced elbow to your ribs that jolts you out of reverie as the older gentleman seated next to you creaks to his feet. You wince and open your mouth to complain, but not before taking in the empty seat across the train car, devoid of leather and ink and beauty.

Where did he g— 

That’s when the car doors slide shut and you, all too soon, come to a stunning realization:

The handsome stranger whom you have just spent twenty minutes daydreaming about is gone, nowhere to be seen, lost in the crowd of chaos that is the city.

And you have completely missed your stop.

Well, it’s a damn good thing taxi cabs exist.

Your alarm does not go off on Wednesday morning. Perhaps a fatal mistake, because by the time your dreary eyes crack open at the suspicious amount of rest you’re getting for the middle of the week, you are supposed to leave your apartment in eight minutes— shower, breakfast, makeup, and all.

Perhaps there is a god looking out for you after all, because you manage to make it out of the house only two minutes later (although just about all of the above had to wait). Your stomach grumbles as your feet trod down the littered stairs of the station, an insistent reminder that the last meal you had was ten hours ago, and you really need to eat sooner rather than later. No time meant no coffee meant cold hands, an unfortunate consequence, and you’re shivering your way through the turnstiles onto the train as the wind bites cool at the back of your neck.

You’re still drowsy from sleep, a ten page paper having kept you awake, so it is no surprise that you nod off on the train. You’re not sure when your mind clears of soporific fog, but when your eyes flutter open, the one person you’ve been waiting for is seated in front of you with his elbow slung across a backpack next to him, propping up his head as he too drifts off. A raven cloth mask covers his nose and his mouth, his eyelashes brushing the curve of his cheeks, a bit crimson from the chill. A binder slips crooked under his arm, threatening to topple to the floor. Squinting at the train board means you’ve got two stops left and you force yourself upright, rubbing your eyes only to wince at their dryness.

Though your eyes ache and sleep tugs at your bones, he is worth staying awake for as his body sways with the rhythm of the car. Around you, everyone is immersed in their own little slices of the world, completely oblivious to another tired traveler. There’s a scar on his cheek and a tiredness about him, and your heart, two sizes too big, aches for something you don’t quite understand. One station passes without interruption and he is still asleep, draped over his backpack with his notebook slipping further, further. 

The train rounds the final bend, brakes screeching as it pulls into the station. The sudden deceleration is enough to send the stranger’s binder, packed with papers, spinning to the floor of the train just as you stand to gather your things. A few index cards here, some loose green and white papers there, and he is somehow still asleep through all of this, surrounded by oblivious minds and occupied hearts.

You have approximately five seconds to make a decision before the train fills with a swell of new passengers.

You don’t have to think when you’ve already made your choice.

Forgoing the cleanliness of your jeans, you stoop to the floor, scrabbling the spilled contents of paper and a pencil and a spare Chapstick into the mouth of the binder. People are already beginning to spill through the door, but you’re pushing your way through without a second glance, feet pounding the steps underneath you. You follow the beam of light that pours underground, cutting corners and rushing staircases until you are facing a narrow city block and the buildings that reach on tiptoe to kiss the heavens. The sun’s caress is warm on your cheeks as you stride through the gates, ever stony in their stoicism, and find a shady bench to sit and organize the mess in your hands.

It is a simple black binder filled to the brim with notebook paper, neat handwritten ideas that dissolve into simplistic sketches and jotted thoughts. You don’t mean to read it, you really don’t, but as you tuck the pencil into the neon green case looped through the rings, a single form catches your eye: an advertisement for the show in the greater library this weekend, set up by the architecture majors showcasing their designs in conjunction with the fine arts students.

He does fine arts? That must be the sketches in these pages. But perhaps it’s a casual hobby for him? Maybe he’s only interested in it and not actually pursuing it as a major. There’s Korean on this too; is he an international student? How long has he been going here? Why isn’t he dorming on campus with the others—  

A cough in front of you, and when you glance upward, you nearly choke in surprise.

Hazel shines russet when his eyes catch the light that filters through the trees, twinkling with something unknown when they meet your own. His hair is tucked under a beanie, vivid red against the muddy brown of his oversized sweater. His mask is pulled down to his chin as he fidgets in front of you, twisting his fingers with almost a childlike nervousness. His lips part, plush, a little chapped. “Can I have that?”

His English is sweet, accented on the ears, a softer tone than you’re expecting, but you don’t mind it. Curse your nerves and your sweaty palms! “Oh! Yeah, sure!” You nearly shove the binder at him and he blinks owlishly, taking a moment to examine its contents, making sure nothing is out of place while you ramble on and on. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get it back to you on the train, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to bother you, especially since here that’s typically just not what people do, you know how they are- Oh, your pencils and things are inside the pencil case, I figured they would be too much to try to carry around before I found you, you know? And I didn’t want anything to get lost; I hate when things of mine go missing and I tend to be so scatterbrained.” You chortle nervously as he hugs the binder to his chest.

A small smile blossoms on the stranger’s face and you get the feeling there’s more he wants to say, but doesn’t know how. Instead, he bows graciously, a little pink in the cheeks, and states simply, “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, really! Don’t worry about it. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me and since I’ve seen you only recently on the morning train, I didn’t quite know if you’re new to campus or you’ve been here a while and just moved or something like that-” He’s still staring, eyes wide, and you realize you’ve been talking for far too long. “But ah, I’m sorry! Continue on, yeah? Have a good day!” You ramble, internally kicking yourself. Damn your loose tongue and damn this man for being so infernally, unfairly attractive.

He blushes even deeper, face flushing crimson, and shoulders his backpack. “You too…?” When he trails off, you realize he’s waiting for your name and nearly trip over your own tongue getting the syllables out. He repeats it once and nods, extending a hand. “My name is Jeongguk.”

The way his fingers brush yours is ingrained in the softness of your skin for the rest of your day, in the touch of cologne that lingers in the autumn air long after he’s gone to class. He is the sweetness of your afternoon Starbucks and the freckles of the night sky, dotted through the ambient fog that settles over the city with all the comfort of a blanket. Somehow, someway, there’s a name to the face.

A very handsome face, to boot.

You wake early that Thursday, early enough that you have time to wrap yourself in the fuzziest blanket you own and pad to the window to gaze out upon the city as it wakes slowly, block by block.

The city is sleepy too, rosy glow hanging lazily over the skyline, reluctant to slip into the brightness of daytime. It slumps against the skyscrapers, vibrant fingers brushing the glass with the softest caresses, whispering sweet nothings to the minds that rest just behind the other side. Perhaps dawn enjoys pampering her city like this, with the kindest affirmations and the prettiest, warmest eyes. 

From your apartment window, it is as if first light is melting away, slipping lower and lower as the cracked-egg yolk of the sun leaks over the harbor, spilling over the urban jungle. As you stand, blanket around your shoulders and bathed in the beauty of early morning, a thought strikes you, a minute snippet of profound reality.

It is still on your mind as your feet cross the platform an hour later, effortlessly stepping over the gap into the narrow confines of the train car. It’s busier this morning and thus your usual seat is taken, leaving you to stand and cling for dear life to the pole. A stranger brushes your arm and someone pushes against your backpack, your throat tightening in response. Oh, how you hated busy days. Anxiety blurs your surroundings, swirling in color and breath and heat around you, an unfocused Polaroid. It is blurry and nothing is right, and the doors are opening and closing, opening and closing, and then there’s a new face pressing to your left, and your entire world melts at the very seams.

It is him. Him! He is here and real and in front of you, and has opted to completely ignore his usual (empty) seat in favor of standing with you, a kindly smile gracing the corners of his lips and he ducks his head into your field of view. His eyes flick to yours and the bokeh clears, your heart thrumming happily at the warmth they contain. His fingers grip above your own as he shifts to make sure others can flow around him; you take in that little scar on his cheek, the moles that dot his neck just under the folds of his jacket, the subtle lick of ink that dips into his collarbone. You can just make out the hum that trickles from his headphones over the rattling of the train, a melodic undertone, and his head dips to check his phone.

You’re the one to nudge Jeongguk when it’s your mutual stop, him flinching with surprise when he realizes how fast the ride has gone, and as you follow up through the station, you find that you are no longer trailing him, but instead by his side. He opts to walk next to you; when you tilt your head, asking the silent question, he merely smiles and pushes the pace just a bit. When you’re chasing sunlight on stone, borne out of the street into the mouth of the day, you find yourselves under the university gates, side by side. He takes out his earbuds, fidgeting with the wires as one foot taps the sidewalk. He’s nervous. “I just wanted to say thank you for getting my book yesterday,” he begins. “Properly thank you.”

“It’s nothing, Jeongguk!” You grin, perhaps a little flushed. “Anytime, really.”

Now it’s his turn to redden, shuffling in place. “Ah, is there anything I can do to return the favor?”

“Jeongguk, don’t be silly! Well…” you trail off. “Answer me one question. What’re you majoring in?”

He beams a little at this, glancing at the sidewalk. “I’m studying architecture here for a year; I’m from Seoul. I’m also learning English.” He winces. “Or trying to.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a great job. It’s amazing that you’re learning architecture in an urban environment like this!” You gesture above as a flock of pigeons flutters past. Like a damn Disney film. 

His eyes follow the birds as they swoop above the street, ducking under lamps and through scaffolding. “It’s different from Seoul, but also like Seoul. I like it,” he confesses. “I really like the city. Any city is my city, not just Seoul. You know?”

God, he is so cute, it hurts. Hearing him talk is flowers blooming snug in your chest, winding around your nerves, soothing their live-wire ends. You can’t help but smile at him. “I know.”

“I don’t want to keep you too long…” Jeongguk hesitates as the bell in the clocktower resonates down the commons. “Class starts soon.”

You frown. “Too soon. Want to grab lunch over at Fourteenth?”

His brows furrow. “Fourteenth?”

“Fourteenth and Tenth, yeah. There’s a cute little cafe on the corner, great for people watching and Americanos. And bubble tea. There’s ramen a few shops down, too.”

“Ramen!” Jeongguk practically vibrates in excitement. You swear your face will crack from how hard you’re grinning, from shyness or joy or both. His nose scrunches; your stomach flutters. “Can I have your number? Wait, is that too direct? May I have your phone?” He shakes his head but you’re already handing him your device, a new contact at the ready.

“Text me when you get out of class. I’ll show you how real ramen is supposed to taste.”

Jeongguk raises a hand in farewell, slipping his own phone back into his pocket. You’ll never know that he saved your contact under 귀여운 여행자, nor that he suddenly has a reason to stay awake through his 8am.

And when he spots you sitting there under the Alma Mater a few hours later, his heart skips a beat in its chest. His phone vibrates in his hand.

Ready to eat?

He was born ready.

There’s a poetry book you like to read on Friday morning subway rides, one that filters breath into your lungs and stirs the lyrics in your heart. You soak up the comforts of literature with a mocha in the other hand, lo-fi in your ears, and obnoxiously colored plastic supporting your back. How wonderful life could be in all of its simple joys.

There’s warmth at your side in the form of a boy, a boy with the stars in his eyes and the galaxy in his heart who asked if he could sit next to you and with a pounding in your chest, you gladly accepted, moving your bag to your lap and returning to your Keats, singing cants of yearning all these years later.

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,

Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--

No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever--or else swoon to dea—

A note is tucked into your open page, a folded piece of cream-white paper, smooth at the edges, unwrinkled. You glance up at him to find his gaze steadily fixed on a grayed gum stain, knee jumping up and down, up and down as he fingers the rip in his frayed jeans. You unfold the paper slowly, carefully.

Are you busy on Sunday afternoon? Because I’d really like to take you to an art exhibition on campus, and I think you’d look right at home among the masterpieces.

Jeongguk’s focus is on the floor and the floor alone as his stomach twists. Butterflies beat their wings against his ribcage, darting here and there, and he swears that if the train sways one more time, he may throw up his bagel right there and then.

He feels something at his right jacket pocket and flinches, only to notice it is your hand that retreats from it a second later.

He produces a familiar looking scrap of paper from his pocket with trembling fingers, unfolding it anew as he reads a new line of scribbled letters, squinting a little at the cramped figures.

An art exhibition? Sounds like a perfect first date to me.

And that’s how this beautiful thing begins.

an epilogue (of sorts): one year and one day later

There is a thought you had many moons ago, in the heart of a child but nestled in a timeless soul. A thought that was purely fantasy: of mankind supporting the weight of the heavens with the structures that scratch the sky around your tiny little apartment, shared not by one soul, but two. Never before had someone so fallen into your heart like he had, cradling it in his palms with sweet, sweet adoration. Jeongguk was yours and you were his, and that was simply how things were.

You had moved in shortly after you began dating, a decision some criticized but had felt purely natural to the both of you. It was easy to fall into a rhythm with him, easy to let him into the world you had built for yourself now expanding to fit one more.

He introduced you to Korean barbecue and held you when things wouldn’t go your way; you dragged him into the vortex of John Mulaney’s comedy and cried together while binging all seven Harry Potter movies in two days. He taught you some Korean while you polished his English, supplementing it with words he perhaps didn’t need to know, but you couldn’t help laughing when he mashed profanities in brand-new combinations. He loved tea and quiet nights on the couch; you craved the intimate moments high above it all, watching your city rush beneath you in all of its gritty, grimy, wonderful glory. Jeongguk’s pen scratches the page of his sketchbook as you gaze out at the lights that flicker in the apartment buildings seated securely in midtown, downtown, beyond.

We will never know when the sky decides to fall, to come crashing down to earth in all of her heavenly splendor. It is something known only in the fabric of the universe, stitched together in cosmic threads we cannot even hope to unravel. Not yet, anyways. It will come to us eventually, when it is time, comfortably so. In the meantime, you’ll look out over the balcony railing of your little studio apartment uptown, the night air breathing clear, with a blanket wrapped around your legs and Jeon Jeongguk by your side, unceasingly himself.

And that is everything you can ask for in this life and the next.

[femalechibiblogger]

Night in the Woods Fanfictions

Bleachers by perrythedeer

Red shapes. All over the grass

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847180

Autumn Crimes by Beatrice_Sank

Post-canon, set a year after the game's events. It's Halloween again, well, Halmostween, Gregg is visiting from Bright Harbor and planning for some seasonal crimes, while Mae reflects on what has changed, and what remains. A trick or treat adventure (spiced with a weirdly political twist, blame Bea) takes them all around Possum Springs, as relationships are discussed, the concept of growing up is questioned, and felonies are committed. It's time to look back, to begin to look forward. And what better way to do that than by dressing up as the scariest thing you know?

“We’ve got to send a message, yeah? Let them know we don’t wanna depend on private candy investments. That we want candies fairly distributed to all tricksters, whatever their age. That no one want to be left with the last expired Reese in the bag. That shit gives you allergies.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21162179/chapters/50368532

Love in the Harbor by StarMaverick

It's hard to get used to moving away from your old home. Especially when he lived in Possum Spring since the day he was born. But lucky for Danny, he had a certain vixen that can help him overcome it. (Waring for Mature-ish contest)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21289778?view_adult=true

Selmers Crunchy Leaves by SaintRose

A poem for the fall because this time of the year can be hard for recovery. But, that's the good thing about writing.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227309

Fireflies on the porch by goldendeer (thebandsvisit)

There’s a lot of things that Bea wants. Things that she can’t really articulate or make sense of.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21131204

The Long Fall by eccorando1407

Painful memories from Mae's torment at college catch up to her as she struggles to cope with her entire world crashing down on her...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20170513/chapters/47788801

Drinking with You by Metal_Gear_Steve

Garbo takes his main squeeze out on a date. A lovely lady who he's gotten to know over a long time, but who he's only just met.

A sweet coming-out story starring Night In The Woods' premier comedic duo. Credit goes to Tumblr user Sleufoot for the idea - details in the notes.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967368

Mae or May Not by h0ld3n

Mae comes over late at night to discuss something important with Bea.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786867

Packing up by eyesabovethetrees

Mae is anxious about her friends moving away.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18901774

Home Again by orphan_account

Mae and her friends have been through a lot since she got back from college. After everything that had happened, she needs Gregg more than anyone else.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857239

Secrets on Aisle Nine by CoreyWW

"In the back of her mind, she was thinking about certain ... things she had learned in the course of the current case she was working on.

But she tried her best to push that out of her head. That didn’t matter now.

She was off duty."

[Post-game. Molly goes shopping at the Ham Panther on her off day and speaks to Stan, thinking about absolutely nothing serious in the back of her mind.]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633715

Disconnect by Ihateyouandyourmum

It's fair to say that Mae had never really fit in with the people around them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429464

Bright Harbor: Building a New Family by Legend0fTacoHat

Gregg and Angus have decided to raise a child together, but it won't be easy. Even getting a child to begin with may prove to be too much for them to handle, and if they can get one, will they be able to give them the love and care they need, or will their lack of experience and past trauma keep them from being the parents they need to be?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15223373/chapters/35308898

No Reception in Possum Springs by Rcw99

A day in the life of Selmers.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17968106

-"Shapes"- by ArrowAzura

Mae shares a poem in her Group Therapy Poetry-Project

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15373659

In the Deepest Dark by Rcw99

There were 21 people trapped down in the old Stafford Mine after Mae and her friends collapsed the entrance. They had a few lanterns and no way to call for help. Without food or water, they weren’t going to last more than three days.

Most of them accepted their fate, that they were going to die in the very place they killed so many others.

But, as it turned out, they weren’t alone down there.

There was…something lurking within the shadows. Something impossible. Unknowable. Enough to drive a person mad.

And all the while, Black Goat sings out his beautiful song.

Astral Shattering by InkyCorvid

Another night..another Dream

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14323107

A Day Off by SarcasticCartoonist

Beatrice Santello was never one to expect help from anybody in these last painful two years since her mother died. She'd grown accustomed to long work hours, monotonous daily chores, and a constant feeling of exhaustion that loomed over her every day. So it came as no small surprise then when Mae Borowski, her reunited childhood friend, showed up hunting for a job at the Ol' Pickaxe. Even more surprising then that was the cheery feline landed a position in the store and had been a massive help for relieving Bea's stressful workload.

A month had passed since Mae got hired, and now Bea's father was starting to show up around the store as well, even offering to help on several occasions. Bea didn't dare raise her hopes for eventually getting out of Possum Springs, but with the faint possibility of her father taking back the store, Bea's life was now refueled with passion and purpose. Little was she aware though that massive changes to her life were coming much sooner than she could've predicted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12144249/chapters/27554658

Winter Diaries by Passivefish32

With the arrival of winter, Mae is eager to come to terms with strange events of Autumn and tackle her lingering anxieties by... writing a diary?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12998601/chapters/29722617

Lori M. by 7Moments

Life hasn't been easy for Lori and she's beginning to wonder how she'll survive until she can finally leave Possum Springs. Maybe a good friend is what she needs to show her the way... if she's willing to be shown.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234391 

First Impressions of the Closeted Kind by Cogsbreak

A potential look at just how Gregg and Angus met the first time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14065578

All I want to do is worry about everyone but me by Princex_N

"I'd kill for that. I still would. I'd kick you out of this moving car right now if it meant I could go to college."

Bea doesn't know how she'd wanted Mae to respond, she doesn't know how she'd expected Mae to respond, but it wasn't for Mae to shift mulishly in her seat and say, "Maybe you should."

Or, the conversation in Bea's truck, and how I initially thought it was going to go

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716114

Sacrifice by Madness_of_Xara

What happened to Casey that night out by the train tracks?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609140

Eulogy by KiraDood5

Everyone deals with grief some time in their life. This is one of those times. It's just so hard to say goodbye.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10406784

Awakening by BookCat (NintendoNerd125)

"It was a beautiful autumn day. The sun was shining, the leaves were a rainbow of colors, and there was barely a chill in the air. The majority of the residents of the town, Possum Springs, were enjoying this day. There were exclusions, though. One of them was Casey Hartley."

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683195

Rolling a 20 on Peaceful Sleeping by ChaoticSparklez

This wasn't supposed to happen. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689636/chapters/23672628

Using Magic Missile To Attack the Darkness by ChaoticSparklez

Where is she?

Do you really want to find out?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11044374/chapters/24619713

[ghostgirlvii]

Ok first time doing this, but I need to take all of this out my system. I never did such thing before, but I really want to make some sort of review.

So, I was excited to know that we would have more Pacific Rim content after Uprising and I was really looking forward to it. I did not do much research about anything because I love to keep everything a surprise and of course when Netflix dropped the trailer, I didn’t watch it. Today I binged watch the first season of Pacific Rim The Black with only 7 episodes. It was… interesting. I’m kind of glad I didn’t hype myself too much for it. Don’t get me wrong it was good, but not exactly the best. The only + points I would give now are the animation/design and story. Music vibe with the Pacific Rim universe but not that much. Uprising did a better job at catching the ‘main theme’ vibe. This series have good soundtrack but doesn’t have the catchy theme that make you feel like every thing you do is in a jaeger and you can fight anything. Also, the story take place in Australia. The first movie was a bit a let down with actor not having a real Australian accent, but hey the Hansen are still my favorite! The Black has only 2 (two) characters with Australian accent and it’s two bad guys. Not even the main characters. I’m very disappointed by it.

I guess that was the less spoilers-y part of all that’s coming, so heads up spoilers coming next. I don’t want to describe each episode fully, mostly just talking about general stuff and spoilers come from moment that made me went ‘WTF’, so I won’t spoil everything but probably some major moments.

First episode opens with a jaeger that looks very much like Striker Eureka, which turn out to be Striker Berserker (because we all know what happened to the beautiful piece of metal was Eureka!) Thing happened and the PPDC initiates something big (later reveal to be some sort of protocol that everyone call The Black) We also get introduced to our main character, Taylor and Hayley. Isn’t very clear at the beginning when this take place, however a few episodes later it said that it takes place years after the Uprising war. For now, it is safe to assume 5 years has the story is 5 years after the event of the blackout. Kaiju seems very easy to kill also, then again some are only Cat. 3 so maybe? Even then, I’m not super comfortable with this when we saw how all other pilots always struggled to kill their kaiju. Breaches also seems to appear on land now!

After some events, episode two force Taylor and Hayley to wander off the safe place their parents told them to stay 5 years ago while they went looking for help with their jaeger (Yup Mom and Dad are pilots!) Taylor and Hayley end up in a weird city with dog like kaiju after them and found out an old PPDC lab/place. They found a boy (named ‘Boy’ all season long) in an experiment lab. Oh no is the PPDC the bad guys now?! Well, answer later. We also see a kaiju/jaeger hybrid kind of fully transformed/evolve. That is just so weird at first.

Remark on episode three are small, mostly the usual people selling kaiju part or jaeger part and that feels very normal, honestly that just normal stuff. Also imply some worshippers which is then again nothing new. What’s knew is interrogating someone via drift and store everything on ‘mermory drive’ ? Cool, I guess? I don’t know, drifting always feels more ‘intimate’ it’s weird to force yourself in someone mind to find the intel you want...

Episode four is the moment where I had to check back on info about Uprising, I only saw the movie once, so I had a lot of piece and bit missing. But at this point it sort of made sense that the world would be infested of kaiju because at the end of movie Newt says the Precursors will keep attacking over and over again. So okay at this point I made peace with the idea of the world, no excuse me, Australia being invaded by so many kaiju and left in a post-apocalyse place. Also, I forgot to mention that there’s one kaiju named Cooperhead who sort of is the main kaiju who always find Taylor, Hayley and their jaeger. Which come to the point that is seems like kaiju can hear from VERY far away. Maybe this was always a thing, but it never felt like it would be like 100 kilometers like the series make it feels like.

Fifth episode is by far my favorite for one reason only…. Herc Hansen baby! Yup he made a cameo, voiceless, struggling to fight a kaiju and very old. We learn this because Taylor need to learn solo drifting via ghost drifting (using the memory drive we talked earlier, how did they get his last memory??). Turn out he is the one, under the order of I don’t remember who of the PPDC to initiate the blackout protocol and it has to be in a dramatic way. He fought solo a kaiju while making sure he could succeed his mission. Oh they also included Raleigh and Stacker when they were looking for candidate. The one who survived, although technically Herc died? If this is really canon, yup no original pilots are alive anymore. We learn that trying to drift too much with failure can cause lose of memory and ghost drifting side effect is you gain memory of the pilot you drifted with. Yay, joy! Or not. Because this mean they can, with the help the ‘memory drive’ , change the memories of someone to the point they don’t remember who they are (guess what it happen to one of the side character!)

Episode 6 gave me a headache! It is the episode with the most inconsistency. Uprising was better. I mean this episode had inconsistency coming from both movies, hard to beat. But first may I point a breach open in the middle of ground and no kaiju come up? Ok… At some point, Taylor and Hayley found a cave with jaeger and kaiju remains. Oh, that looks interesting. Wrong. The graveyard it somewhere in Australia, on land, right? Well, here’s the three kaiju found; Leatherback, Slattern and Mutavore.

Mutavore was indeed killed on Australian ground by Striker Eureka, but that was in Sydney and this cave seems very far from any city. Leatherback attacked Hong Kong! How did he ended up always the way there? Slattern was killed near/in the breach by Gipsy Danger. Once again, how it finds the way in the cave?!

Unless we are talking about the ‘cloning’ theory of Newt and there are kaiju with the same DNA has those three but then maybe precise it?

Then our jaegers; Titan Redeemer, November Ajax and Omega Valor.

Omega Valor was damaged during the attack of the Moyulan Shatterdome, then the remaining part used to fix Bracer Phoenix. All of this also took place near Japan, very close to inland Australia. I suppose we could assume Bracer Phoenix had a fight in Australia at some point and when the AI scanned the part, she tought it was Omega Valor.

But then come Titan Redeemer. Taylor has now Herc’s memory because of ghost drifting and he is sure that he knew the pilot of Titan Redeemer and helped/took down Yamarachi. Wrong. Yamarashi was taken town by Gispy Danger aka the Beckett brother with another unknown jaeger. Herc was no part of this fight.

Also remember Boy and the kaiju/Jaeger? Well Boy and him sort of drifted and we learned that the K-J is actually a surviving drone from the uprising war who fully merged to become a actual biomecha. He also eats kaiju. But at this point, Boy feels very not normal for the kind of universe Pacific Rim is. Too ‘magical’ and ‘OP’.

And the final episode, where everything resolves, in away. The kaiju who have been following Taylor and Hayley since the beginning is finally defeated, they found clues about their parents whereabout and Boy turns into a kaiju that looks like a gremlin. Yay everyone happy. Hmmm hold on. Human found in PPDC lab who turn into a kaiju? Could it be that the Precursors found a way to introduce kaiju that look human in our world? That’s what implied at the end. The worshipper called ‘The Sisters’ are revealed too and they seems to have plan… for season 2!

 That’s it! Overall, it left very unfazed. I did not hook me up as much as I hope. A lot of elements feel too magical/fantasy for the world of Pacific Rim (that’s my opinion) and errors in episode 6 really threw me off. I know that there was already some inconsistency between some infos in the first movie and the (not canon) novelization. But there were small. Also, that whole thing of be able to change people memory, I didn’t knew I was in Total Recall. The characters are nice, the story is okay, just some classic tropes, but some stuff just don’t seems to fit. And then again, would it have been hard to find actor with Australian accent? Not everyone but at least for Taylor and Hayley and not just the big bad guy and his assistant, sort of not sure who he was but definitely not the big boss’s right arm. In the end, I would give this series a 6/10. It wasn’t bad but wasn’t not as good as it could have been. I’ll watch season 2, because of the story, I’m curious of those worshippers and their business.