#may change my mind in 2 days may come back in 2 weeks

[adiadagaki]

smitten!sukuna won’t admit he is absolutely enthralled by you, but he sure as hell knows how to show it. You want a vacation? First class flights and a five star hotel are booked. You like that diamond necklace? It’s in a box waiting for you when you get home. You want to spend some time with him? He can destroy that village another week

smitten!sukuna can’t function without you by his side, he always requires your presence no matter where he is or what he is doing, and vise versa. An hour without you is an eternity he would never live through

smitten!sukuna who has already arranged your wedding (something you are ignorant to) and is just waiting for the day you agree to be his bride (he has asked you 50+ times already)

“Come on princess, know you want to be my wife.” Circling your clit with the mouth on his stomach, he pulled out to the tip, his cock throbbing in protest

With tear stained cheeks, you shook your head. “Ryomen… it’s only been six months.” Six weeks. Six months. Six years. What difference did it make? You were his until the universe ceased to exist, in his eyes you may as well just skip a step or two.

But deep down, you already knew your answer, you were just waiting to exploit him a little before you gave into what you both wanted. What was the fun in having a big, burly king at your whim if you couldn’t play him as you pleased?

smitten!sukuna who kills anyone that dare question you in any capacity. You were a Goddess and should be treated as such.

smitten!sukuna had to close his eyes if you ever asked for something he didn’t want to give you. Like a pet. Sukuna hated the idea of sharing you with any one or thing, a furry nuisance included. But he could never say no while looking into those pretty eyes of yours.

smitten!sukuna hosts balls in your honour, flaunting off the pretty little thing he had managed to make all his.

smitten!sukuna who lets you peg him because you asked ever so sweetly.

“But Ryo.” You whined.

That damned nickname softened his will to something weaker than jelly.

“Princess.” He warned, not amused in the interest you had taken in dominating him. Sitting back, you crossed your arms and turned your chin up at him. “No pegging. No marriage.”

His mind had never changed so quickly.

Part 2 Part 3

[jehhskz]

Third time's a charm

pairing: nonidol!hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: fluffy romance, fastburn, he falls first

wc: 6k

summary: hyunjin just wants a chance - okay maybe three - to make you fall for him

jé's note: my little gift to my beautiful @hyunjincanraptoo, happy birthday amiga, you're a light in my life, our chats always makes me so happy, i love you and i hope you enjoy this little fic and have an amazing day celebrating your life ❤️ ps: send some brigadeiro to me 🤭

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After a hell of week with noses buried into books and never ending lectures, friday night finally arrived and everyone could finally relax, and if you lived around the campus you'd surely get plenty of options to pick: whether it be night clubs or rooftop bars to karaoke or crashing into fraternities, the dorms would be completely silent, unless… you decided to enjoy some other type of fun.

Hyunjin was walking down the hall with his phone in hand blowing up with messages.

Lia (library) - how come you aren’t at Jack's? 😔

Cecilia (class) - hyun, come to the rooftop, they are having dj’s battle

Angel - bro, they are giving double drinks until 2 *attached: a picture of a blue bottle*

Kelly (café) - Felix told me you just left, right when I arrived? 💔

“So clingy…” Chuckled to himself, putting his phone in his back pocket, stopping in front of his door, pressing the keyword.

Hyunjin coming back to his dorm before midnight and all alone? That was a new.

Because the boy did love to party. You could always know that if there was good music and girls, Hyunjin and his friends would always be there. It was like a pattern, they didn't even need to do anything, the boys simply would leave traces and suddenly be stumbled upon by coincidence by them. It was fun but after some time it got boring, all those hollow girls felt and acted the same, the only difference was their faces, sometimes not even their names.

Hyunjin was bored, he wanted more. He wanted someone new, something different…

The chuckles and muffled chat coming from the end of the corridor caught his attention and he looked over, seeing you opening the door of your dorm with a boy waiting behind, poking your sides.

…someone like you.

The only girl from the building that didn't try to get his number, the one that he only knew the name because you were classmates and still, you never bothered to look for excuses to study with him. In fact, you looked pretty annoyed this morning, when the professor paired up you two for a new project.

Neither you nor Yunho noticed Hyunjin before you entered your dorm. But he thought it would be better that he would get inside too, before calling Felix.

“Hey angel!”

“Changed your mind after seeing the drinks?” The blonde teased when he picked up the call.

“Tonight I'll pass. I'm actually calling because I need a little help” Hyunjin plopped down in bed, kicking off his shoes.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Ji’s there, right?” There was a moment of silence before Felix confirmed.

“Ok, great. I need you to ask her to call y/n, say she needs help” He reached for the bubblegum on his bedside table, unwrapping one and popping it into his mouth.

“What?” Felix chuckled, curious about what his best friend was up to now.

“I will explain it all later, now just do me this favor, alright?”

“Yep” Felix beckoned for Ji to come where he was “Gonna talk to her now”

“Ok, great, oh and tell her to be careful, we don’t want to scare y/nnie… just need to interrupt something” Hyunjin smirked, thinking about his next steps.

“Ok, I get it now” Felix also had a smirk while staring at the girl beside him

“She will be calling soon. May I help with anything else?”

“No, thanks. That was all, have fun!”

“Oh, I definitely will…” Felix winked at Ji, that was twirling her hair around her fingers, staring up at him.

~ ♡ ~

Exactly 10 minutes later Hyunjin heard footsteps outside. Waiting just a bit, he opened the door and peaked to check if the area was clear before stepping out.

You were putting your jacket back on when you heard a soft knock on the door. Smiling, you walked there, imagining Yunho changed his mind, deciding to be decent and not letting you risk go out so late all alone.

“You?” Your smile faded when Hyunjin popped the bubble, offering you one of his stupid (and perfect) grins.

“Hello to you, too. May I come in?” His ask was useless since he was already doing it, his shoulder brushing against yours as he casually stepped inside.

You groaned in annoyance, watching him stop and gaze around. The small lilac couch matched the dark purple fluffy rug and pink cushions, beside it there was the desk with your computer, a panel with colorful sticky notes and some pictures, his mouth twisted when he saw a polaroid of Yunho there.

“Nice place…” His eyes roamed over again, everything was so neat and well organized, exactly how he imagined the straight A's room would be. He stopped in front of your bookshelf, noticing how the books were perfectly organized by colors, he couldn’t help the urge to pull the blue and pink out and switch them.

“Stop it!” You grabbed his wrist as he picked the yellow one, ready to switch it with another too. Hyunjin laughed, sitting in your bed while watching you put them back in order.

“As much as I wouldn’t love for you to stay and chat, I gotta a place to be so you need to leave” You grabbed your purse, and paced around looking for where you left your phone.

He sat down in your bed, picking the teddy bear that was lying against your pillow, he scoffed before chuckling lightly, running his finger on its head “Cute”

“So… where are we going?” He looked up at you with mischief when you came by his side and grabbed the phone.

“We aren’t going anywhere. I'm calling an Uber” You drew the password code and opened up the app, Hyunjin shook his head.

“There’s no way I'm letting you get into a stranger's car this late at night” You stopped typing, side glancing at him

“How could it be any different from getting into your car?”

“C'mon, you can't be serious right now” He rolled his eyes.

“I mean, we aren’t friends, I've never even spoken to you before. How could I know if you aren’t dangerous too?”

“Yeah, if it wasn't for Mr Park you'd still be ignoring me…” He gazed at you with wide eyes before narrowing his eyebrows in suspicion “Aren't you the strange one, then?”

You slapped his arm and he let out a fake ouch as if it hurted

“See? I should be the one afraid to get inside a car with you!”

You raised your hand to smack him again, but he quickly grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to face him, making another bubble. Your free hand landed on his knee and you ignored the way your heart skipped a beat and your sudden wish to lean even closer and pop it before he did it, smirking devilishly at you after snapping you back to reality.

“Hey hey, easy there doll. If you wanted to touch me, you should simply ask” He teased and you pulled your hand back with an annoyed groan, straightening up again.

“Ugh, you're so annoying!”

Hyunjin stood up, too close for your liking so you took a little step back, making him chuckle.

“Annoying? Oh, I've been called a lot of stuff before, but that's new” He teased with that damn smirk glued on his face, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, looking away.

He was loving it, it was refreshing although it surprised him at first. How come you could be so unbothered by him when girls would always be gravitating around him, trying to get his attention, hoping to get in his bed?

“Oh, I know” You scoffed. Of course you knew, every girl loved to brag when they had a chance.

Could you blame them?

You wouldn't lie, you weren’t blind, he was handsome, way too handsome… With that black long and silk hair, his cute nose and plush lips that insisted on tugging into that annoying smile you wanted to rip off his stupid pretty face.

Yes, you could blame them!

Gorgeous or not, he was just a boy at the end of the day, not just that, but one with commitment issues too, which only made everything worse. They should be wiser and use their brains instead of thinking with theirs...

“You know? Oh good, so it means you weren’t so oblivious about me, after all” Teased again, poking your side. You took one more step back, frowning at him, a silent warning for him to stop if he wanted to keep those five fingers intact.

“Yeah, I know exactly what type of man you’re”

“Hmm, why are you making it sound like it's something bad?”

“Because it is” Your cold reply caught him by surprise, he wasn't expecting it, he wasn't used to someone being so bold with him like this.

You couldn’t read his expression while he stayed silent and looked at you, as if thinking about something, and for some reason you felt bad, realizing you should have chosen your words carefully. You felt awkward now.

“One chance!” Hyunjin grabbed your hands, sending a sudden jolt of electricity through them, your eyes widened.

“Uh?”

“Give me one chance, to prove you I'm not as bad as you think”

“Hyunjin…”

“Please” You couldn’t tell if he was playing or being serious right now.

“Why do you care so much about what I think, anyways?” You tried to laugh it off, it wasn't a big deal, but he stayed serious, gazing at you.

“I like you…” He said so casually with a shrug “...Plus, you're stuck with me for the rest of the semester as we work on our project, so I think at least we should get along”

You shook your head, he couldn’t be serious.

“Hyunjin…”

“Two…” He showed two fingers up, biting down his bottom lip, then shook his head, lifting one more “Three!”

“You really won’t leave it, will you?”

“Obviously not” He shook his head, mischievously smiling and poking your sides again and you squirmed “C'mon, y/nnie… just three dates, imagine all the girls who would be dying to be in your shoes right now”

“Yeah, I'll text them on the group chat” You waved your phone “Who wants to volunteer?”

“Ha ha, aren’t you so funny?” He asked sarcastically, picking the phone from your hand “But I already told you, I don’t want them, I want you!”

~ ♡ ~

20 minutes had passed and your heart was still thrumming, stealing glances of Hyunjin while you sat on the passenger's seat of his car.

I want you.

Three little words being repeated inside your mind over and over again.

He was quiet during the whole drive, which was actually surprising, the only sound being the soft balad playing on the radio, but there was a little grin lingering in the corner of his mouth as his gaze was focused on the road ahead.

You couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his mind.

As for Hyunjin? He was just hoping your friend wouldn’t ruin his plan when you’d arrive at the pub.

You texted Ji to let her know that you arrived, but got no response, thinking she could be drowning her sorrow with alcohol after being dumped by her man, you decided to walk in and go after her. Hyunjin followed you, grabbing your hand and guiding you inside, you noticed the not subtle glances from some girls towards you, after they would greet Hyunjin, you rolled your eyes and held his hand tighter without even realizing, but he did, gently stroking your hand with his thumb, a smirk playing on his lips as you walked around looking for the blonde.

“You've got to be kidding me!” You exclaimed when you spotted her, or at least who you thought was her…

The colorful lights that danced around them were making it difficult to tell where Ji started and Felix ended.

Hyunjin's eyes widened up in surprise when he heard your gasp and a wide and proud grin appeared on his face. You started walking towards them, but got pulled back by him, gasping in surprise when you crashed against his chest.

You looked up at him and there it was, that annoying thrumming inside your chest again, but not only that, there was also a subtle dizziness too, as you inhaled the woody scent of his cologne. His hands rested on your arms, and you shivered slightly when he leaned closer.

“Wait, wait. What do you think you're doing?” He whispered and you rolled your eyes, peeking over his shoulder, noticing the blondes’ heavy makeout session was still going on. “Don't you know that’s rude to disturb? Let them have fun!” Hyunjin chuckled, which only annoyed you even more.

“Ugh, I can't believe Ji did that, she was crying just minutes ago”

“Well, it seems like Yongbok saved the day, then” Hyunjin wiggled away just in time before you smack him.

“Y/nniiieeee!” Arms were thrown over your shoulders as an excited Ji hugged you from behind.

You turned to face her, noticing the girl had lipstick smeared all around her lips, pretty much like Felix did when he came around with two cups in hand. You twisted your mouth, watching him talk with Hyunjin, your drunk friend giggling by your side.

“I'm so happy you're here, y/nnie. We are gonna have so much fun!” Ji side hugged you, squeezing you against her.

“Ji, you were crying, what happened? Where's Hong-joong?” You looked around “I'll fight him, what did he do?”

“Hong-joong, uh?” Her eyebrows raised up a bit, looking at you with slightly confusion, Ji noticed Hyunjin's silent plea for her to play along, so she did it. Small nodding, rubbing her forehead “Oh yeah, about that…”

“He isn't worth it, I'm okay…” She waved off as if it wasn't a big deal and then she grabbed your hands, her eyes sparkling with mischief “...now, tell me, you and Hyunjin, uh?”

“There’s no me and Hyunjin, he simply just drove me here” You shrugged, quickly glancing at him just to find out he was already staring at you while chatting with his friend. You turned back to Ji, trying to ignore him.

“He said he wouldn’t let me get into a random's car so late at night”

“Awwn, that’s so sweet!” Ji excitedly clapped and you looked down, feeling a little flustered, it was sweet indeed.

You glanced at him again, noticing he was beckoning at you to go there and you shrugged again at your friend, acting nonchalantly.

“Anyways, it doesn't mean anything” “Of course it does, Hong-joong never offered to do it for me…” Ji admitted and then chuckled, but the humor didn't reach her eyes “...damn, he would call me over and make me pay for the ride to his place…”

Ji's voice was becoming a faint sound as you came to realize how neither did Yunho. The cute boy that you met at the library on a random friday and had been ‘talking’ ever since.

Cute boy skipping a party at some random frat house to focus on his exams that would happen in two weeks? That felt like a huge green flag!

Or maybe he just needed every single point if he didn’t want to fail that semester.

Hyunjin held out a cup for you, but you shook your head.

“We are leaving” You simply told him, crossing your arms.

“Uh? Not even my girlfriend yet and you're already bossing me around?” He grinned and you flustered right away, gritting your teeth.

“No, that’s not what I meant, it's just that we came together and… ugh!”

Hyunjin chuckled, taking a sip of the soda he just offered you “Relax, y/nnie… I'm just teasing you” He took one step forward, invading your personal space as he leaned in before you took one step back, which only made his grin get wider “Has anybody told you how cute you look when you're all flustered?”

“Stop that!” You scoffed, looking away.

“Even more cute when annoyed”

“You seem to enjoy it a lot, don’t you?”

“Oh, I surely do” A new step forward, another step back. Hyunjin smirked, taking one more step and picking a little strand of your hair between his fingers, playing with it then gazing back at you.

Looking into his eyes for a moment that felt way too longer than actually was, your breath hitched and you felt speechless.

“I wanna leave…” You cleared your throat, feeling awkward.

“Oh c'mon, we just got here. Let's stay for a little while” His fingers were still caressing your hair, a mischievous smile playing on his lips “Please…”

Damn, how could you say no to that cute face?

“Okay, fine. Just a little more” Hyunjin's smile got wider and he suddenly hugged you, taking you completely by surprise and also intoxicating you with his delicious cologne that would get stuck on your skin and give you trouble sleeping that night.

“Stay with me and I'll make you glad you came” He whispered in your ear. It wasn't in reference to the lyrics of the song that was playing, Hyunjin knew exactly what he was doing and the way you got tense between his arms, he noticed it worked.

“You really think you're funny” You pulled back, rolling your eyes.

“Oh I can be that, I can be a lot of things actually and I'm sure you'll love every single one of them” His words dripped like honey and a funny sensation rushed down your body like little electricity jolts.

“Very cocky too” You did your best to not let it show, but you were enjoying that side of him, maybe a little too much for your own liking.

“I can be that too…” Hyunjin held your hands, pulling you to dance with him. His hands rested on your waist and you let your own rest on his shoulders, a little too close and a little too good, but you wouldn't dare to say it out loud. So you would turn around when it would get too much, a moment of clarity when the invisible pull to kiss him would become too strong, making Hyunjin fight his own urges then, to not hold your hips and pull you flush against him.

Obviously he was losing it, but could you blame him? So you let him, but just for a second or two, before you'd pull away again, cheeky.

That was the first time you danced with Hyunjin. That was also the first time he didn’t even get a simple kiss when the night ended.

And as ironic as it could sound, he loved it.

~ ♡ ~

You clutched your cardigan tighter around your body, it was particularly chill in that morning and way too early to leave the comfort and warmth from your bed. Stepping inside the bus, you sighed with relief when you felt it was warmer inside, your destination was the natural park, a school trip to do some research for the project you were working on.

Finding an empty seat, you slid down, leaving your backpack by your side and resting your head against the window, your eyes closing instantly, you were tired from staying up until late studying, didn't notice your bag being moved or the shoulder brushing against yours, your head being gently tilted to the opposite side and you let out a little sigh while nuzzling your face against the soft fabric of his hoodie, that known woody scent filling up your nostrils, warming you up inside.

Hyunjin looked down at you all cozied against him and his hand reached out, gently running his fingers on your hair, breathing in the floral scent of your shampoo, he smiled, feeling good and he noticed he could get used to it.

You sleepy groaned, trying to brush his hand off when he poked his finger into your ear, Hyunjin chuckles woke you up.

“Hey, sleepyhead, we arrived” Blinking a few times, you jolted in your seat when you noticed you were basically laying on top of him.

“Slept well?” His tease came along with his chuckles, watching you fix your disheveled hair with your hands. You rolled your eyes.

Looking out of the window, you noticed the trees that surrounded the entrance of the park, a big sign hanging on the trunk of the biggest one with the draw of the map of the site and some instructions for the visitors, glancing back at Hyunjin, you watched him stand up, picking both your bags, you stood up too, following him out.

“You should have woken me up…” You murmured, standing by his side.

“Yeah, but you were so cute talking in your sleep, I didn’t want to interrupt you” He side glanced at you, leaning closer, his tone low just for you to hear, as the other students gathered around, listening to Mr Park's instructions.

“What? I don’t talk in my sleep!” You scoffed.

“Oh Hyunjin, just give me a kiss” He mocked with a tiny voice and your cheeks burned high so you smacked his arm.

“Stop it or I'll ask Mr Park to pair me up with someone else” You hissed at him and he made a zipper motion on his mouth.

“...and you're all adults with internet access so be smart, I'm here to help you with your projects and not to play baby-sitter!” Mr Park didn't bother with the laugh of the students when he finished his talk, turning around and guiding the group to the cabins area.

~ ♡ ~

“I can't believe you got a cabin just for yourself!” Hyunjin followed you out of the reception in the direction of your cabin, still carrying your stuff.

“Why wouldn’t I?” You smiled, admiring the diversity of flowers that made a pathway towards the little matching wooden cabins, it was charming like a little village, with windows adorned with flowers too.

“We're partners, you should stay with me” He said it nonchalantly, as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Project partners, there's a difference” You corrected him, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

The interior was simple, but as charming as the outside, there were two beds looking cozy with the white wool covers and fluffy pillows, a small bedside table with a lamp, a fluffy white rug between them, a small wardrobe and a door that you assumed was for the bathroom.

“I'm gonna change that soon” He placed the bags on the floor next to the bed.

“A little too confident, aren’t we?” You teased giggling, sitting down on the opposite bed.

“I mean, I've got some credits…”“Just two…” You reminded him when he sat on the bed in front of you, casually resting his hand on your knee, the other going to play with a strand of your hair again.

He was too close again, you wondered what was this boy's problem with personal space. And also with your heart, you definitely should make an appointment to check those random beat skips…

“I thought we agreed on three…” His eyes widened in surprise, letting the strand slip between his fingers.

“We did, but you already used one” You nodded, smiling.

“When?”

“That day at the pub, the Ji emergency…” You didn't notice how soft you sounded, remembering how you danced together but luck for you, neither did him.

“No way, that one doesn't count, I wasn't ready!” He whined dramatically smacking his forehead

.“Of course it does” You insisted, nodding again and chuckling.

“I'd try harder if I knew…” He murmured under his breath, clearly talking to himself as he looked down, his lips pouting as if he was concentrating, contemplating.

You couldn’t help but laugh, it was funny how it looked like he was really taking it seriously “As if you were the ‘try hard’ type”

“You're right, I'm not” His behavior suddenly shifted back to cocky again and you laughed out loud by accident.

You covered your face, letting your laugh calm down and he smiled, admiring you, leaning slightly closer again while the room became silent as you stared at each other.

“Hmm, let’s go look around, we need to find some samples before it gets dark” You stood up suddenly, already making your way out.

Hyunjin followed you, not bothering to take his bags out of your cabin.

~ ♡ ~

Your exploration time had to be cut short due to the weather changing, after waiting for the rain to end, you and Hyunjin decided to go back and explore a little further into the woods, not too far because the sun would set soon, just a quick look to find a very specific flower you wanted, known for its strong healing properties it would be perfect for future works.

“Are you sure they grow in places like this?” Hyunjin was getting tired, it felt like you’ve been working in circles for hours.

“Yeah, they don’t enjoy much sun, so it's probably around here” The path was surrounded by big full trees and pebbles, lots of them, you frowned when you looked down at your feet, the dirt became mud and not only was it slippery it also ruined your allstar.

“What does it look like again?” “It looks like a pink heart, with tiny lilac dots at the end of the petals and… I found it!” You squealed excitedly when you spotted the flower almost hidden between the rocks. Hyunjin chuckled with your excitement, but also felt relieved that the search was over.

In the hype state you hushed to pick it, ignoring how slippery it was, but nature was quick to remember you, making you awkwardly slip your way down the rock you were about to step and if Hyunjin wasn’t quick enough and held your arm, pulling you flush against him, you'd fall right on your butt and completely embarrass yourself in front of your crush with the bonus of doing a special version of the walk of shame with mud all over your butt.

Luckily none of this happened, but from the way you yelped, Hyunjin noticed something still wasn't right. He held you by your shoulders, eyes training down your figure.

“My foot… I think I twisted it…” You looked down, it was hurting pretty bad.

“Ouch, okay… Let's go back and…” His hand was sliding around your waist, but you stopped.

“Wait, we must pick the flower first”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, that’s the most important thing of the project, plus if we simply leave then I'll have hurt myself for nothing” You looked up at him, waiting.

“Okay, fine. Stay here” He rolled his eyes, letting go of you and you did a small nod, smiling.

“Please be careful, Jinnie” His heart fluttered, it was the first time you used that nickname for him. He decided to not tease you about it now, and simply nodded, going to the rocks to pick the flower for you.

It wouldn’t be Hyunjin if he didn’t show off, so of course he had to slid the pathway and go pick another one too, prettier than that first you found, but just to have an excuse to roll his sleeves up and hop back on the rock, coaxing a little worried squeal from you.

“You could hurt yourself” You whined when he approached you, chuckling.

“I'm sorry, promise won’t happen again” He held out the pretty flower “For you”

You smiled, admiring it and feeling a bit flustered, murmuring a shy thank you. You were about to pick it, when he gently placed it behind your ear.

“Cute” He scoffed quietly, chuckling and you felt the heat in your cheeks again. Same heat that would travel all over your body when he held your waist and slid his other arm behind your knee, easily picking you up.

“Oh my God, what are you doing?” You squealed.

“I'm carrying you back, your foot will get worse if you walk” He shrugged “Now let's go, it's starting to get dark”

You just nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder, ignoring the insistent thrumming of your heart as he made the way back and in that moment, you forgot that others could run into you, only focusing on his scent and the heat coming from him.

“Hyunjin! What are you…” You heard Mr Park's surprised voice and you hid your face against the fabric of his hoodie “You know what? I don’t wanna know”

Hyunjin blushed, his fingers gripping a little tighter on you and he started walking quicker to prevent running into anyone else.

Back into your cabin, Hyunjin placed the pillows against the wall for you to lean against it and put one under your feet, sitting by your side and taking a good look to check the damage, luckily it was just a little swollen. He threw a blanket over you and went out to grab some ice.

Your heart fluttered while you watched the scene unfold, Hyunjin's concerned gaze on your ankle, the plastic bag in his hand getting wet because of the ice melting inside it.

“Is it still hurting?” He murmured, placing the bag a little to the side.

“Just a bit…” You replied and he hummed.You wouldn't lie, you were a little surprised with him, it felt very unexpected to you to see Hyunjin like that.

You couldn’t help but wonder if it was Yunho, would take care of you like this too? It was Yunho, the most boyfriend material guy you knew, of course he would, what a silly question was that? You thought. He appeared to like you, but then why haven't you heard from him for weeks?

Gazing back at Hyunjin, you remembered about a movie you watched, it was a silly romcom, but had a clear message: if he wants you, he will show it, if he wants to date you, he will work for it. Yunho knew all the right words to say, but why did it feel like he would only call you when he was bored?

Your contemplative moment vanished when your phone buzzed, Hyunjin looked up at you, he had put the ice bag aside and was now massaging your ankle slowly, his thumbs pressing the soft skin, sending little jolts up your body. You reached out and pulled the device from your purse, eyebrows narrowing when you saw the notification, surprised with who decided to come back after weeks of pure silence.

Gazing up you saw Hyunjin not even trying to be subtle as he tried to peek up and see who texted you. You bit down your bottom lip, holding back a smirk.

“Your contender…” You waved your phone, teasing him.

“Hunf, I don’t feel threatened” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms.

“Yeah…” He shrugged, scooting up to sit close to you, smirking, he held a strand of your hair and played with it “I know I’m the favorite”

“Hmm, is that so?” You asked and he nodded, coming even closer.

“Don't you agree?” He whispered, too close, once again. You stayed silent, tucking in your bottom lip, a spark appearing in your eyes as you stared into his just to look away.

Hyunjin’s fingers gently touched your jaw, turning your face back to him. The cabin was quiet, but inside you there was a storm forming up quickly.

“It's a secret…” You whispered, gaze traveling down from his eyes to his plush lips just in time to witness him wetting them. You trembled slightly, looking back up.

“That's okay, your secret is safe with me…” He whispered back, his fingers held under your chin and pulled you towards him, the gap was small but still he did it slowly, as if giving you time to change your mind, to pull back if you wanted to. But you didn't…

Instead, you closed your eyes and a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he finished closing the gap. His hand caressed your neck until it reached the back while his lips moved against yours, slowly like a caress, your lips parted and his tongue brushed against yours, making your heart skip a beat, he tasted sweet, like the strawberry bubblegum he had earlier, his fingers played with your hair, you couldn’t help smiling through the kiss, noticing how he really seemed to be obsessed with touching it.

He thought it was cute and soft, later you'd learn that, but in that moment he just wanted to keep kissing you and that's what he did.

Kiss you. Over and over again.

Just like that, kiss after kiss, Hyunjin managed to spend the night in the cabin with you…

And much to even his own surprise, he didn’t do anything beyond that.

‘I don’t want you to think I'm using you or anything like that…'

‘I really like you…’

And in that night, between his soft whispered confessions and slow kisses while caressing each other, you met yet another version of Hyunjin, the soft one and probably that would be your favorite.

~ ♡ ~

After a hell of a week filled with projects and finals, all you wanted was to get back to your dorm, slide under the covers and shut off the world for the rest of the month. Your feet dragged on the floor, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you heard the soft click of the door being unlocked.

You yawned, kicking your shoes and letting your purse slide down your arm and fall by the chair, books being carelessly placed on the desk. You didn't notice how the picture of Yunho was gone from your panel, your other friends’ pictures and sticky notes still there, a new picture of a certain shaggy haired boy winking being there instead, your books all out of order went unnoticed too.

But you noticed something new in your bed, lying there beside your plushie, you walked toward it and grabbed it: a new plushie, an extremely squeezable teddy bear holding a heart written be mine. The surprise was so cute you didn't think about the fact he knew your dorm's password, you giggled, holding it tight against you before you called Hyunjin's phone, one, two, three times and no answer, so you decided to go there.

Hyunjin opened the door after the second knock, popping a pink bubblegum and smirking.

“May I come in?” You did it like him when you first interacted, walking inside before he could reply. Hyunjin smirked, watching your reaction.

It was your first time getting into his dorm, so you were definitely curious to see what it looked like, and what you saw was pretty different from your imagination.

The mattress was on the floor, there were cushions and pillows, lots of them, and blankets, one sheet was half up, hanging in a chair. Your eyes widened and you turned to face him.

“A fort?” You smiled as you watched his cheeks getting rosy.

“Hello to you too and yeah… It was a surprise” He scratched the back of his neck, murmuring the end, suddenly fearing your reaction since he never done such a thing for a girl.

“A surprise for me?” Your smile got wider, that was lovely and so unexpected.

“Yeah, I thought I'd have more time before you came back” He shrugged, looking around, it was almost everything done.

You covered your eyes with both hands, shaking your head “Pretend that I'm not here” Hyunjin chuckled, finding your intention to fix the problem very endearing. Noticing how you stood still with your eyes covered, he finished setting the sheets and came back to stand in front of you, he pulled your hands down and your mouth fell agap when you saw the blanket fort complete.

“Awwn, that’s so cute!”

“You're cute” Hyunjin squeezed both your cheeks between his hands, gently shaking your head before he gave you a kiss when you whined.

You both slid inside, cozying up and putting a random movie on the projector that you pretended you’d watch. It didn’t last not even 10 minutes because Hyunjin was already all over you.

“About that plushie…” You whispered a little breathless, fingertips running down his back, under his shirt.

“Hmm…?” His murmur was muffled against your neck, as he kept kissing under your ear, making you shiver.

“Be mine?” You repeated the words written in the heart, waiting for his explanation, Hyunjin smirked against your skin, giving a little nibble before he lifted his head up to look at you.

“Say please” He bit down his bottom lip, cheeky.

“Hyunjin!” You smacked his arm, but a little laugh escaped your lips anyways.

“Ouch! I’m kidding, baby…” He gave you a peck, grinning again “I already am” Hyunjin teased again, as if you were the one asking him to date you.

“Oh my God, you're truly impossible!” You scoffed, but Hyunjin noticed the little smirk on your lips.

“Okay, this time’s serious. Be mine?” He asked softly, caressing your waist, feeling the warmth of your skin under his palm.

“Hmm, I don’t know… gimme some time to think” You did your best to attempt to sound nonchalant, but his frustrated expression and squeeze on your waist broke you into laughter.

“I’m kidding, Jinnie…” You caressed his back again, embracing him a little tighter and leaning forward, whispering against his lips “Because I already am…”

His heart fluttered and he kissed you, resting his forehead against yours as he spoke again.

“Ha ha, seems like somebody's getting really funny”

“What can I say? I'm learning with the best” You shrugged, giggling.

“Oh really? Well, let’s see what else I can teach you…” He closed the gap between you two, kissing you again, this time deeper, body pressing against yours.

And as the night stretched out, you two got lost into each other inside the blanket fort. His phone on silent mode on his desk, shining with new messages notifications, all those girls turned into unknown numbers.

———————— ♡♡ ————————

tagging: @doitforbangchan @athforskz @jeonginsleftcheek @moonchild9350 @hyunjincanraptoo @changbinniescurlyhair 💕

[reidrum]

let it once be me | the prophecy part 3

note: hey ,,, remember her ,,,,,,,,, ! feeling hashtag nervous to post this but pls tell me ur thoughts this went through !!! so many drafts !!! almost lost my mind like thirty times lol but thank u for reading <3 (reading prior parts may be helpful in having context for this part but im not really sure it's necessary, they're way shorter than this part either way)

summary: you and spencer are faced with yet another wedge in your relationship, and you're not sure if it'll survive this time

cw: heavy spoilers for everett lynch arc (15.10), we're ignoring the cm tl and time doesn't exist, maeve flashback, hurt/comfort, angst, happy ending !

wc: 8k (wtf)

part 1 part 2 part 3

Spencer feels he’s lived many lives, and that his lived experiences have thoroughly prepared him to navigate novel situations with a small familiarity. A cushion really, to allow him the comfort of seeing the path before he has to walk it blind. It almost acts as a sense of pride for him, a testament to what he’s overcome and capable of facing.

There’s nothing prideful about how awful things have been going with you.

It’s been weeks since your talk with him. Weeks since he vowed to prove to you that you were it for him, and he’s made so little progress he finds it embarrassing for someone with his caliber of intellect.

He’s toeing a fine line between being in your presence enough for you to see that he’s trying, and giving you  space so that you don’t feel smothered. It was harder in the immediate days after your talk, when you couldn’t even stand to stay in the same room as him for more than five minutes. You had come home to his apartment the day after having decided Penelope had enough of your moping. Once you got in you immediately went to settle into the guest room.

It was near radio silent between you both those first few days. He didn’t want to force you, but it didn’t feel great when you would leave a room as soon as he’d enter. As the days went on, Spencer started getting resourceful. He’d make you breakfast in the morning and leave it on the table for you, your coffee next to it made exactly how you take it. Then it was little notes left in the most random places, all written with different things he loved about you. He never saw your reaction when you read them, but they’d always disappear from its spot the next day. Little things to remind you he’s there for you.

More days passed and it finally felt like the ice was starting to melt away. You’d started lingering longer in the living room if he was sat at the table still. One time you even made breakfast for the both of you, and although you weren’t there to eat it with him Spencer had never felt more hopeful.

In the field your dynamics changed even more. Normally, he would make sure to be paired up with you in the field to personally ensure that you were being safe. Since the fallout however, he didn’t want to be an unwelcome presence that only left you more tense in high stake situations. So he’d do things like privately tell Emily to double check your bulletproof vest, or make sure Luke was at your 6 if he couldn’t do it himself.

The last thing he wanted was for your current circumstance with each other, one that he knows he created, to distract you in the field and god forbid cause something to happen to you. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt because of him, but Spencer remembers he’s already done the worst hurt he can fathom to you, and what he really means is that he can’t afford to hurt you any further. As much as it worried him to do so, he had reluctantly learned to place some trust in his teammates to keep you safe. It was a balance he’d learned to adapt to.

It worked fine until it didn’t.

The silent car ride from the jet back to your apartment was so thick with tension, but not the one you’ve both become accustomed to over the weeks. No this was a different strain of anger, one that descended down to the primal nature of your relationship—you endangering yourself.

Spencer opens the door, barely waiting for you to enter behind him before slamming it shut. “That, what you did today, was fucking reckless.”

The anger flares through your widened eyes, “Reckless? I saved the hostages, Spencer. He would have killed them!”

“And what about you?”

“What about me, I had it handled.” you huff.

He raises his hands in exasperation, “He had a gun to your head!” he yells, “You have no idea what it’s like to see that.”

“This isn’t the first time someone drew a weapon on me, and there’s definitely more times than I can count when they’ve drawn one on you,” you pause, “Or is it different right now because you got deja vu?”

“What’s that supposed to mean—” Spencer’s face pales in recognition, “That’s not fair.”

“The hell do you mean it’s not fair? You expect me to believe otherwise?”

“He was going to shoot you!” he loudly repeats, “You don’t think I care about your safety?”

“I think you only give a shit right now because you thought another girl you loved was about to get her brains blown out in front of you. Again.”

He’s stunned into silence. Your words feel like a paralytic to Spencer. Like venom slowly traveling down his veins seizing any chance for his body to save himself. All the progress he thinks you both have made just unraveled itself into nothing. It’s paradoxical that his mind is quiet. You’re usually the reason his mind can relax, but somehow you’ve achieved the same outcome by metaphorically stabbing him square in the face.

He can’t understand when you developed the idea that he could care less about you. He can’t understand how you can even think he would be capable of 

of not being with you entirely. He can’t understand where along the line you started believing that he stopped loving you.

It may not be a sentiment you actually hold, but he prides himself on being a good profiler, and more so knowing you better than himself. He knows that’s what you’re thinking, and there’s nothing he can do to fix it.

He speaks under his breath after a couple of minutes,  “How long are we going to keep doing this?”

“Doing what—“

“This!” He gestures wildly with his hands. “This back and forth where you’ve convinced yourself you’re able to move past this but clearly can’t!”

You stare at him, “Look, I’m trying.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

The familiar sting burns the backs of your eyes, the first sign of your resolve crumbling. “That’s not fair.”

He sighs and moves closer, your head hanging low and finding the wooden floor patterns deeply interesting. “You won’t even look at me.” he whispers, “Do you still love me?”

You look up at him stunned, “Spencer…I—I do…It’s just…”

He feels his heart breaking in a new way, “That’s not convincing.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No, I guess I can't,” he shakes his head defeatedly. “I don’t know what else I can do, baby.”

“…I want to forgive you.”

Spencer’s eyes blur from tears, “But you can’t.”

“I don’t know how,” you whisper before a sardonic chuckle leaves you, “You know me, memory like an elephant.”

Spencer refrains from telling you that dolphins are actually the species with the longest memory capacity, and that the reason for possessing such a feature is to maintain the social dynamics and relationships that come with survival in the ocean. A dolphin’s memory is what keeps them rooted back to where they belong, being able to remember individuals and behaviors even after being apart for so long. That no matter how far they stray, they’ll always come home. 

He settles for a soft agreement, “Yeah, I do know you.”

You make the mistake of meeting his eyes, equally and tragically as broken as yours, puffy and red rimmed.

“I don’t know what to do.” you whisper brokenly.

“I don’t either.”

The silence weighs heavy in the living room. The metronomic tick of the clock becomes louder, the birds and the wind outside whistle louder. You’re cornered, forced to come to face the results. And like a prey backed into the corner you do what the prey do best—You run.

“I have to go.” you grab the keys and put your shoes on.

“What?” he steps closer, “You can’t just leave, we just got home.”

“I can’t be here right now,” your voice cracks, “I just…need some time to think.”l

Spencer’s heart falls straight through the floor. Time to think about what? Is this when the foundation beneath you both finally buckles under the immense pressure it’s been on for weeks, and you’re left to scavenge the ruins?

As much as it pains him to let you walk out the door, he knows that nothing would be accomplished at home and it would only hurt you more to stay.

“Okay.” he whispers.

“Okay.”

“Be safe.” I love you.

You look back, “I will. You too.” I love you too.

The door shuts gentler this time, as if careful not to disturb the few pieces of Spencer still left standing behind the door. It doesn’t matter, they’ve already fallen over. Any resolve he had left is slipping away with every step you take further away, never feeling more defeated in his life than this moment.

He trudges over to the study, hoping he can at least bury himself in work to distract himself from the turmoil of his reality. The desk is strewn across with files and papers, mentally making a list of the tasks he has to do. At the top of his to-do list is the Everett Lynch case, having just closed the case a few days back meaning the paperwork would be due to the brass soon.

Spencer glances over the open file and reviews the details of the final moments of the case, recalling the stark change in Lynch’s MO that still left him puzzled. The victimology and the profile just didn’t add up to what actually happened, why he ended up dying with his mother in the house. That wasn’t supposed to happen, Spencer wasn’t supposed to send five SWAT agent in not knowing their fate only seconds later. How the case simply ended anticlimactically after nearly a year long chase. A dull ache begins to form in his head as he thinks, the bureau is going to have a field day processing this case.

He rubs his forehead with his hand to soothe the pain building up, making a note to get painkillers after he finishes. As he continues to read the file he starts to see his confusion take a basis as the initial profile doesn’t add up at all to what actually happened, in fact for as long as he evaded the FBI he really shouldn’t have just, died.

Spencer freezes. Did he die?

Lynch wouldn’t just commit suicide, that was too easy. He watched the house blow up with him and his mother inside, not even including the agents the explosion took out with it. The pain in his head is too much to bear at this point and he decides that getting Advil can’t wait until he’s done. He stands up and immediately wobbles as he grips the desk for support. Through the blurred vision and spinning room Spencer tries to makes sense of Lynch’s discrepancy. 

Everett Lynch wouldn’t commit suicide, because he didn’t. 

“He’s still alive.” he realizes gravely. Then it all goes black.

———

You get in your car and drive off to god knows where, just not there. It’s sheer autopilot driving you to the other side of town, which is more than welcomed as the tears threaten to blur your vision coming down in hot trails. You end up pulling into the parking lot of your favorite donut shop, one that you discovered with Spencer a little before you started dating. There was time to kill after being paired up to visit the unsub’s  dump site and you were so insistent about needing a sweet treat, Spencer thought it was clinical.

“You’re acting like you’ll die if we don’t stop for a, what did you call it? A sweet treat?”

“I will!” you whine, “Don’t you know that girls, specifically me, are mandated to have at least one sweet treat per day?”

He pulls into the parking lot of the donut shop he’d spotted on the way there. “Oh yeah? What happens if you don’t?” he teases.

“You’ll see me as the unsub in the next case.”

Spencer can’t help the laugh that leaves him, loud and earnest. “Alright, c’mon. We already have enough criminals to last us till retirement.”

You and Spencer are definitely not together at this moment in time, but the little old lady owner of the shop really can’t believe otherwise as she watches you both bicker about which flavors you’re getting for the half dozen box. She’s almost certain you’re together as she watches Spencer end up getting all the flavors you wanted despite putting up a fight for others. And she’s fully convinced, with no room for sway, that you are together as Spencer pulls his card out before you can even protest and watches as you miss the look he gives you as you dramatically sigh in content after the first bite.

Spencer would later tell you after a few months together, that the donut shop was the first time he realized he was in love with you. You recall how the same half dozen would appear on your desk every Friday since that first visit, with one chocolate sprinkled donut missing but placed on a napkin on Spencer’s desk. You would joke that he pavloved his way into your heart with donuts, but wouldn’t reveal your true cards that you fell in love with Spencer after a month on the job. The donut shop happened the week after.

“You alright, hon?” the little old lady owner breaks your thoughts.

You look around and realize you’ve walked yourself into the shop. You wipe at your eyes quickly, “I’m okay, Dolores. Can I just get the usual half dozen please?”

She’s not convinced but it seems she knows better than to ask and pry. She gathers the usual six donuts for the box, slipping in an extra one just for good measure, and rings you up at the register.

“Seven right?” you mumble as you file through your bag for the loose ten.

Dolores smiles, “It’s on the house today, hon. Don’t worry.”

You look up at her, knowing she’s only doing that because you showed up with tear streaks on your face, “Oh, no it’s okay you don’t have to do that let me just—“

She pushes the box towards you, “You both tip enough to cover the box anyway, please just take it. Hope you feel better soon, hon.”

Her kind gesture thaws your heart out a little and you give her a small smile. “Thanks, Dolores.”

You walk back to your car, locking the doors once you get in. You don’t move to turn the car on, opting to allow your emotions to overflow again in solitude with the comfort of a bavarian kreme donut. The tears prick your eyes on instinct thinking of the current state of your life, of your relationship.

Spencer was right, have you convinced yourself you’re capable of moving past this? You do still love Spencer, you knew that much. But you are hurt, you are tired, and you just want to stop feeling like you’ll always come in second place even when there’s no one to occupy first place. You’ve waited so long to feel chosen, like someone has waited all their life for someone like you to come around. Meeting Spencer felt like finding the little daisies that grew in between the cracks of concrete, proof that despite your stone hard exterior you were still worthy of being loved.

The sound of your phone ringing jolts you up, almost dropping your donut. With your free hand you look at the caller and press accept.

“Hi, Emily.” you try to make your voice sound even.

“Hey we’ve got a—wait are you okay?”

You clear your throat, “Yeah, totally fine don’t worry. What’s up?”

It’s clear she doesn’t believe you but Emily really doesn’t have time right now, “Listen, Lynch is still alive.”

You almost choke. “What?”

“The casualty report doesn’t include Lynch and they couldn’t find his body anywhere. While they were searching the house they found tunnels. He escaped.”

“Fuck, okay what do you need me to do?”

“There’s a gas station clerk who thinks he saw him and his car, I need you and Matt to go check it out and see what he knows.”

You scramble to put your donut down and wipe your hands on the napkin, “Yeah, of course I’m on my way.”

“Okay, Matt will meet you there,” she pauses, “I…Is Spencer with you?”

Your heart clenched again, “No, he’s not. He’s at the apartment.”

Emily hums, “He didn’t pick up when I called, it’s okay I’ll send JJ and Penelope to go get him. Reconvene at the bureau in a couple hours?”

“Sounds good.” you hang up and immediately start driving over to the gas station. Something doesn’t feel right, you can feel it in your gut. You quickly check Spencer’s location just to be safe, and relax when you see he’s still at home. He’s probably just taking a nap.

What Emily decides you can’t ever know about is the call she gets twenty minutes later from a hysterically crying Penelope, who in between sobs tells her that they’re on the way to George Washington Hospital. That when JJ and Penelope opened the door to Spencer’s apartment he was passed out on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. How when JJ went to start CPR he entered a seizure and coded in the ambulance.

No, you can’t know this, because Emily knows that the call alone that she has to give you is going to shatter your broken pieces even further.

—

You pull out your phone to call Emily and see an incoming call from her, “Hey, I was just about to call you. The guy said he drove a red ford pickup, we were able to get the license plate from the security cameras but it came up as a stolen plate—“ 

Emily says your name in a tone you’ve never heard her use. It makes you stop in your tracks, an icy chill shooting down your spine, “What?”

“Something’s happened.”

You step outside of the gas station shop holding your breath, “What do you mean?”

Emily pinches the bridge of her nose, “It’s about Spencer, he’s…”

She pauses for too long. The panic rises fast. “Emily.”

“They found him passed out on the floor of his apartment. Penelope called 911 and they’re on the way to the hospital right now.”

No. 

No, no, no.

The color drains from your face as fast as your heart plunges to the ground. “Wh—what?”

She’s lying, she has to be right? You just saw Spencer literally a few hours ago and he was fine. No signs of distress or anything, she has to be lying. She has to be lying.

“The EMT thinks he has a brain bleed, it um…caused him to have a seizure when JJ and Penelope found him.”

The nausea rises before you can anticipate it, scanning your surroundings for a trash can and immediately hurling up the contents of your stomach. Wiping your mouth with your sleeve you put the phone back to your ear, “Which hospital?”

“George Washington Memorial, they should already be there by now.”

“Okay, I’m on the way.” you sniffle.

Emily doesn’t know what other encouraging words she can provide you, she doesn’t think any words exist to comfort herself even let alone you. “Keep me updated please.”

The call ends and you have to steady yourself on the nearby wall, head reeling with mountainous emotions and unable to make sense of any of them. 

You look around through blurred eyes for Matt calling out to him, “Matt, Matt give me the keys I need to go to the hospital.” you hold a shaky hand out.

He looks at you confused and concerned, “What? Are you okay, why do you need to go—“

“Sp—“ you stutter, unable to even speak the words into existence, “Spencer’s in the hospital.”

Matt’s face pales, “I’ll drive you, come on.”

—

“They said it’s a brain bleed.” you mumble after a few minutes of silence in the car.

“A brain bleed? How could that have…” he trails off in realization.

“What?” you ask nervously.

He grips the steering wheel harder, “The bomb, at the Lynch house.”

Fuck. The EMTs who checked him out that day said he only had a mild concussion, nothing else to be concerned about. A few cuts and scratches but nothing that wouldn’t heal. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him.

You sniffle and hastily wipe at your face again, your skin growing red with irritation with every contact.

Matt looks at you with a look he wouldn’t call pity, but certainly close, “It’s going to be okay, he’ll pull through. He always does.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as if it could prevent the fresh wave of tears from falling, “You don’t know that.”

He sighs deeply and turns into the hospital parking lot, stopping in front of the entrance, “Go in, I’ll park the car.”

You open the car door and rush inside the lobby, finding the receptionist immediately. She looks up at you and her face softens in empathy, “Who are you here for?”

“Um, Spencer Reid. He should have just gotten in.” you strain.

The receptionist clacks a few buttons on her keyboard before speaking again, “It looks like he’s in the ICU, are you blood related?”

“Are we…what?” you ask confused.

“Well honey, because he’s in the ICU we can only let in blood related family or spouses to stay with them.”

You outwardly deflate, “Oh…I—“

“She’s his fiancée!”

You look to the source of the new voice and are met with Penelope, donning matching red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks. Her eyes look at you in silent communication and you turn back to the desk, “Y—Yeah, I’m his fiancée.”

If the receptionist isn’t convinced she doesn’t show it, willing to turn a blind eye in pure understanding of the situation. “Room 204.”

“Thank you.” You duck down the hall scanning the numbers before coming up on 204, the door cracked open slightly. Your hand hovers over the handle in hesitation, scared of what you’ll find on the other side. Penelope comes up behind you and rests her hand on yours and helps you open the door.

The sight hits you like a truck. All the wires hooked up to his limbs pumping IV fluids and the heart monitor beeping steadily. He’s paler than you’ve ever seen him. His skin is clammy, the hair sticking to his forehead. You can see that from across the room and all you can think about is how uncomfortable he must feel from the sweat coating him. You used to tease him once upon a time when he’d sometimes take multiple showers a day because of how much it bothered him.

“Another shower? Spence, our water bill is about to be crazy.”

He laughs and waves you off, “Don’t worry about that, I can charge the water bill as bureau compensation.”

“Okay, one that sounds illegal. Two, the more time you spend in the shower, the less time you spend with me.” you moan with fake petulance.

You yelp as he suddenly sneaks up behind you, caging you to his chest with his arms, “So join me.”

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of getting clean?” you giggle, leaning your head back into the crevice of his neck.

He presses a soft kiss to your temple, “You do know what showers are for, right?”

You nod, “To get clean! It would get even dirtier before it got cleaner.”

“I think that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

The smile on your face grows the widest it can before you break off into a sprint down the hallway towards the bathroom, Spencer trailing behind with your laughs mixing in the light air.

You don’t know why you’re thinking so deeply about the state of his perspiration, maybe a convoluted defense mechanism your brain conjured up so you don’t have to come to terms with Spencer lying near comatose a few feet away.

Your feet hesitantly carry you closer to the bed, feeling somewhat calmed by the slow rise and fall of his chest. You lean down and look him over, as if you could see the damaged inflicted on him even though it’s nestled deep in his brain. Spencer always said his brain would lead to his demise, and you hope all those times you played it off as a joke that it cemented itself as one, a joke. That you would be able to see his hazel eyes open again and they’d fill you with reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere, that all he needed in this world was you, and that he loved you.

You will and wish and hope to have his eyes open. You try not to think about if you’ll ever get to see them again.

A choked sob escapes your throat before you can help it, your hand coming over your mouth to muffle the impact. Spencer is hurt. Spencer is fighting for his life, and you were fighting him not even a few hours ago.

“Oh, honey,” Penelope reaches for your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, “He’s gonna be okay, the doctors said the surgery went well. Just waiting for him to wake up now.”

You cry even harder and Penelope tightens her grip on you, determined to not let you fall further down the slope.

“W—We got into a fight,” you sniffle, “before I left. It was bad, Penny. He was so mad, and then I was so mad. And then I just left.”

“You didn’t know this would happen, honey. None of us did.”

“I didn’t even say I love you. Th—The last conversation we had was a fucking fight a—and now…” you cry, “He can’t die, Pen. He can’t die I didn’t even get to tell him—“

Penelope grabs your face with both of her hands, “Hey. No, we’re not doing that. We are not spiraling, not when there’s no reason to. Okay?”

Whatever response you had falls dead on your lips when you take another look at Spencer’s motionless body on the bed. The calmness on his face is a stark difference from the Spencer you saw only a few hours ago.

She was right, there’s nothing you can do right now but wait. You’d just have to trust that Spencer would pull through.

You almost chuckle dryly through the tears. Trust and Spencer? The irony of it all laughs in your face.

—

Spencer’s eyes blink open and adjust to the bright light blinding him. He takes in his surroundings and realizes he’s standing in the middle of the bullpen. That’s weird, he thinks, I thought I was in the study.

“Reid, you sure you don’t want to join me and Elle in Jamaica?” Derek sings, “My guy can swing you a great deal.”

Derek? Elle?

He snaps his head in the direction of the voice, seeing Derek not even looking in his direction but still looking towards Spencer. Just, a different and much younger Spencer.

“Have a great two weeks off everyone, you all deserve it. Don’t call me at my cabin.” Gideon rushes out as he beelines to the door right past Spencer. “Seriously, don’t call me.”

Gideon? But Gideon…died. Where is he?

The scene changes with a snap and suddenly he’s back in his apartment, his old apartment. The one he lived in before he moved in with you. He is definitely in a dream, though with the vividity and theme of important people in his past he’s not entirely sure he’s only sleeping. A head of blonde hair on his couch catches his eye. He slowly walks around and his breath hitches at who he sees.

“Maeve?”

She smiles softly, “Hi Spencer.”

He slowly walks around the couch and kneels in front of her. The tears prick his eyes before he can help it, “I didn’t think I’d get to see you again. I—I’m so sorry for—“

Maeve holds a hand up, “What happened to me wasn’t your fault, I promise. You did what you could. But that’s not why I’m here.”

“It’s not?”

She shakes her head. “You’re dying, Spence.”

His face falls, “I am?”

“Collateral from the explosion, you have a brain bleed.”

It takes a few minutes for him to comprehend what she said, and he can feel his head spinning fast in his head. He can’t actually be dying right? The explosion happened days ago and yet now is when his brain decides to tap out, that can’t be right.

It simply cannot be right because that’s when he remembers you and the last conversation he had with you, and he has to clutch his heart at the prospect of his fate.

He won’t know if you’ll ever forgive him, if you’ll ever learn to trust him again, if you even still love him. He won’t know anything if he dies. He cannot die.

“M—Maeve, I can’t be here I—“

She places her hand atop of his own and he feels her. He can feel her hand on his, like she’s real and here.  It’s alarming, and warm. “I know, it’s okay. C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

Maeve gestures for him to follow her and before his eyes the scene changes again to a nearby park, one that looks a little too familiar to him.

She starts walking through the park, “We’re all okay up here you know? I get to read a lot more now, there’s so much time to read and postulate. Sometimes I get lucky and I can meet the authors. I got to meet Kant and Dostoevsky a while ago, very interesting people. Gideon plays with this nice little octopus friend. I know he’s having the best time.” she laughs, “But you, Spencer Reid, are not okay down there.”

He looks up at her and swallows, “I know.”

She turns onto the fork in the trail, “What’s holding you back?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs.

“I think you do know.”

A few silent minutes pass. “I…I’m scared to let myself be happy again,” he admits.

Maeve looks at him with a saddened smile, “And why’s that?”

Because everything he loves leaves him. Because when he laughs just a little too hard, he’s already scanning the surroundings waiting for the other shoe to fall. Because when Spencer feels he’s trekked up the mountain with long and winding breaths, something always seems to be waiting at the top ready to knock him down.

“Don’t think I deserve it, to be honest.” he admits, “I keep…messing up everytime.”

Maeve stops walking, “You love so deeply, Spencer. It’s a blessing and a curse.”

“Emphasis on the curse.” he deprecates.

“It’s only a curse because you don’t let yourself feel wholly. I know given everything that’s happened it’s hard but,” she pauses, “You’re not a clipped bird, Spence. You just…lost a few feathers. Nothing you can’t get back.”

It’s easier said than done when it feels like his mere existence causes you pain as of late.

“I feel like I have to hold parts of me back so I can protect her…from myself.”

Maeve turns to him, “She deserves all of you, Spence. It is a privilege to be loved by you, but it’s a greater privilege to be loved. And you deserve to feel loved.”

“What if I ruin it?” More accurately, what if he’s already ruined it, is what he means.

“You are not destined for sorrow and misery, despite what your life has made you think. She loves you. She would not have stayed this long if she didn’t. But there is one thing I think she could use from you.”

Spencer looks at her expectantly waiting for her to continue.

“She wants to feel chosen, Spencer. And I know you think you choose her everyday just by loving her. But the reality is, you can’t fully choose her without choosing yourself first. That means allowing yourself to be happy.”

A few stray tears streak down his face and he haphazardly wipes them away. For the entirety of Spencer’s life his purpose was to be of service to others. With his intelligence, his kindness, his courage. His needs always came second because the few times he thought to put himself first, disaster struck. 

When he met you this notion only reinforced itself, wanting to ensure he could make you as happy as he could. You became his priority and he didn’t mind that at all. It was easy being with you, you made life feel easy. So when Spencer started to let his guard down piece by piece, allowing himself the little bits of your happiness to seep into his being, he wasn’t thinking about the abyss that had always loomed over him his whole life.

He couldn’t, not when you managed to infiltrate his entire existence by wrapping and tethering yourself to him with strings of gold. How could he? You made things so easy.

But then prison happened. Then Cat, again. Then Maeve, again. Three strikes. It should have been game over by now. He broke your trust, betrayed your love and he wasn’t sure if you would even stay long enough to see the damage unfold. But you did, and he still can’t really figure out why.

So here he is in limbo? Purgatory? Some figment of his mind in the wake of near death that is giving him the opportunity to make amends. Not with Maeve or Gideon or you or any other grudge he has yet to settle in his life. No, he has the chance to make amends with himself and forgive himself for standing in the way of what he really deserves.

A faint beeping in the distance reels him back to the present moment, Maeve’s face coming into focus again. The dull ache in his eyes coming forward again with how many tears are falling.

“Love is our true destiny, we do not find the meaning of it alone, we find it with another.”

He smiles with a watery chuckle, “Thomas Merton.”

“Spencer, I promise you, you will be happy again. And forever. Just keep the door open when it comes knocking.”

The beeping starts to get louder, like it’s approaching him fast. A warm glow begins to build around him, then light. He looks around the park again and sees the trees and benches begin to blur. He looks at Maeve as she stands with a fond smile, her figure slowly fading as well.

“Take care, Spencer.” and with a blink Maeve is gone.

In the silence he is left in, he looks to the epitaph of Jason Gideon in front of him and back to the spot where Maeve was standing, whispering a soft, “You too.” before closing his eyes and succumbing to the beeping.

—

It’s been 4 hours since you’ve been sat next to his bed. You’d be a lot more concerned than you were, which is already a lot, if it wasn’t for his heartbeat monitor beeping steadily throughout the hours. A sign of life, as morbid as it sounds, but it’s hard to be rational given the circumstances.

It had taken all of 3.5 hours for you to braven up and hold his hand in comfort. Hour one you simply stared at his hand, as if it would regain mobility and reach out for you. Hour two you were able to place your hand on the bed, not anywhere near his obviously. But enough to feel close, satiated. By hour three you had your fingers mere millimeters from his own, feeling like a magnetic force of the same poles was repelling you.

The 3.5 hour mark is when the exhaustion of the day caught up to you, and finally allowed yourself to relax in his hand.

At hour 4.5 is when you felt the twitch.

You look up and whisper, “Spencer?”

He slowly opens his eyes, revealing his hazel brown irises with gold flecks on the insides that meet yours sitting right beside him. You can see the recognition begin to flood his face, but is stopped momentarily when he starts to panic realizing the breathing tube is still in his throat. You hit the call button besides his bed and watch the doctors rush in to help stabilize him back down.

It’s another two hours of testing and scans before the three of you are left alone again, with the nurse promising to check on him in a few hours.

You’re stiff next to him, unsure what to do now that he’s awake and perceiving you again. With a small voice you speak, “They said they found you in the study.”

Spencer racks his brain for memories of before his fall, only able to remember bits and pieces. He remembers fighting with you and when you left. He remembers walking to the study. And he remembers reading…”Lynch! Did you get him? He’s still alive, you have to call Emily—“

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” you shush. “We know he’s still alive, they’ve almost got him right now. It’s okay.”

That seems to make him visibly relax knowing the immediate stressor was almost resolved. Now there’s just the matter of the other elephant in the room.

“You’re here.”

Your eyes soften as your brows raise in shock, “Of course I’m here, Spence.”

He stares at you and takes in your features—your puffy cheeks and red eyes, the skin around your nails picked to death, your lip nearly split in half from the bites and bleeding. He needs to apologize again, he knows that. But the second he opens his mouth you cut him off.

“Penny, can you give us a minute please?”

She smiles and stands, “Sure hon, I’ll be right outside.”

Once she leaves you turn back to Spencer, “We don’t have to talk about all of that anymore, it’s okay. You’re hurt and that’s more important right now.”

He should have expected that you would do this, selflessly push your discomfort and feelings down because someone you cared about was hurting. It was one of the few things he didn’t like that you did, and he’s not going to let it go again.

“Angel, you can’t forgive me just because you thought I was going to die.” he says sadly.

You’re taken aback. “I—I know.”

He swallows, “I really want you to.”

Your eyes blur again, “I know.” Another pause. “I’m trying really hard.”

A gentle squeeze, “I know.”

“I…I still love you, Spence. I don’t think that will ever change, but I’m nervous if one day it won’t be enough…that I won’t be enough.” you trail off.

Again, he shouldn’t be surprised that’s what you’re thinking. He hasn’t done a very good job at convincing you yet. It still hurts knowing that you feel that way.

“Do you know what I thought about everyday when I was in Millburn?”

You shake your head as he continues, “I thought about how when you eat cupcakes you tear the bottom half and stick it on top to make a cupcake sandwich. When we’re watching Doctor Who and you’re singing along to the theme song with only syllables. How you let me eat the olives on your plate and I give you the pickles on mine.”

“Why would you be thinking about that?” you ask confused.

“Because I don’t think I would have survived if I didn’t.”

The lump forms in your throat, “But…you took me off the visiting list after the first time I came to see you.”

“I couldn’t let you keep seeing me like that, honey.” he strains, “The way they were looking at you, what they did to me. I had to protect you.”a

You swallow hard, a few tears falling down your face, “Th—That’s not fair, Spence. I understand why you did it, but then when all the other shit happened… I don’t know what I was supposed to believe. I couldn’t stop wondering if I ever was enough for you.”

Spencer can feel his heart splintering.

“You will always be enough, because it is always you. God, sweetheart it’s not even a question of how much, it just is. I see you in everything I do—you’re the tangled headphones we use to listen to music flying back on the jet. You’re the annotations I make when I read something that reminds me of you, or if I think you’d enjoy it. You’re the smell of bavarian kreme donuts from Dolores’ even though the chocolate sprinkle ones are far superior.”

His heart blooms hearing a soft giggle from you, an earnest smile forming on your face.

“You are entangled in the things that make me happy, and you make them too good to be true. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I meant it when I said I would spend all of time making it up to you. You are my Catalina comet, and I love you.”

You can’t help the sob that leaves you as you remember the memory.

“I’m cold Spence, are you sure we’ll be able to see it?”

He tugs you closer under his arm as he keeps trekking to find the perfect spot, a chaste kiss to your temple, “I promise it’ll be worth it. Come on, I think it's a good spot over there.”

You help Spencer set out the blanket on the ground and use the extra one to wrap around you both, huddling closer together as you wait for the celestial body to make its appearance.

“The first time they did the calculations they used old observational data that led to some incorrect results, and they thought the orbit was only four years.”

“They just got it wrong?”

“Not everyone gets it right on the first try, sweet girl.” he says softly, “But then they did the math again, made sure all the factors and numbers were correct. And you know what they found?”

You ponder for a moment, “Did they realize the orbit was longer?”

Spencer beams down at you, “My smart girl. That’s exactly what they found. So when they did the calculations again, they found out that the Catalina comet is even more special than anyone thought. It’s even more of a rare sighting to get to see it, once in a lifetime really.”

You hang onto his every word, captivated by the story, “Do people wish on comets?” you ask doe eyed.

His hand smooths your hair back, “They do, some say the rarer comets have extra special energy to aid their wishes.”

You look at him skeptically, “Do you really believe that?”

“Do you?”

You look back to the sky, “I think I do.”

Spencer doesn’t look away from you, “Then I do too.”

You giggle and lightly shove him, “Cheesy…” He smiles fondly and pulls you closer into his chest, his arms warming you up before you gasp, “Look!”

There across the night sky streaks the Catalina Comet in all her glory, Spencer watches the comet track through Ursa Major and before he can start telling you about why it goes that path, you’ve already clamped your eyes shut and squeezed his hand, silently gesturing for him to do the same.

He complies, obviously. You open your eyes again after making your wish, “Did you make yours?”

Spencer opens his eyes and admiringly looks at you, “Yeah, I did angel.” 

He didn’t need to make any wishes.

“Spence…” you whine through sobs.

His hand comes up shakily to wipe the tears from your cheeks, “Didn’t mean to make you cry, honey.”

“Well, what did you expect by bringing that story up?” you laugh with fake anger.

“To be fair, you were already crying.” he chuckles.

You scoff, “Mean.” You look at his eyes, and really look at him and see nothing but love and adoration staring back at you. You take a deep breath, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I believe you.” his eyes soften, you continue, “I love you.”

He brings your hand up to his lips and gently kisses it, “I love you so much. I’m sorry again, sweet girl.”

You lean up to him on the bed and press a soft kiss to his lips, and Spencer can feel his wounds start to hurt less and less. “You should get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You make yourself as comfy as you can whilst sat on the armchair, bent over to be able to rest your head next to Spencer. It feels okay for a bit, and then he tangles his hand in your hair gently moving back and forth and suddenly you’re satisfied with never moving ever again.

The quiet air between you both is enough to lull you to sleep, before a thought runs through your mind.

“You know something funny,” you mumble, “Pen told the receptionist I was your fiancée so they’d let me see you.”

And poor Spencer, in between his sleepy haze and the dull ache of pain from his injuries, only hears the word fiancée.

“You found the ring?” he sighs, “I thought I hid it well.”

You still under his hand.

“…There’s a ring?”

His eyes shoot open, realizing he misheard you and tries to play it off, “So…Penelope lied to staff. Tsk Tsk.”

“There’s a ring.” you say pointedly, the corners of your lips upturned to reach a smile.

Spencer thinks he can try and get out of this but decides it’s better to come clean, “Fine, okay. Of course there’s a ring.”

“Of course?”

The surprise on your face honestly stuns Spencer, and he feels a little saddened that you were in disbelief of the possibility.

“Yeah baby, of course.”

Your bottom lip wobbles with a creeping suspicion of his answer, “How long have you had it?”

“Got it after our six month.”

You shakily exhale. There is no ounce of doubt in your body that he loves you, and that you really are all he needs. “ ‘M sorry I ruined the surprise.”

He grins, “It’s okay, you won’t know when I’m going to do it. It’ll knock you off your feet, I promise.”

You definitely aren’t expecting it during a Planetarium date months later where he got the museum people to show the Catalina Comet passing over you both as he got down on one knee. You are expecting the endless stream of tears from the both of you, the aching cheeks from smiling too much, and the multiple missed attempts at sliding the ring on from how much you both were shaking.

[varesai]

How about blind!reader with genshin men (you can choose) and she accidentally slipped and somehow managed to mess up genshin man’s important work and he ends up blowing up on her? Angst please and I don’t mind if you do comfort or no comfort!!

Have a great day🌚

-> blinded mistakes

synopsis -> you're blind, and you accidentally knock over a months worth of your husbands work, and it gets ruined.

warnings -> super angsty!!! brief mentions of ayato putting his hands on reader (no hitting or anything) might do a part 2 for comfort part cus i wanted to focus on the main argument w this one...

a/n -> ooooooomg i'm a sucker for these tropes i love angst so much. thx for ur request, this was sm fun to write! 💗💗

w/c -> 1.1k

-> ayato

ayato knew you were blind, and he was as understanding of it as he possibly could be.

but in times like these, where all of this work was to be turned in for city matters by next week, he had no patience for anyone.

he had been cooped up in his office for a while at a time over the past month. these documents were incredibly important to him and how the words written on the paper could impact how festivities were held to be a much easier way for himself and the city. 

basically, his papers were pretty damn important. and you knew that.

you walked in his office one day with thoma helping you through the hallways. you didn’t want to trip, especially with a mug of tea in your hand, and you didn’t want to bring a cane with you. 

but, thoma may have made a big mistake of leaving you in ayatos care as soon as you walked through the door. because you knew ayato was in no way shape or form able to draw himself from his work at the moment.

you were not able to use your cane to feel around the room, so without knowing where the rug was, you tripped.

and the tea you held in your hands went all over his desk, soaking his documents. the ink was splotchy and obviously ruined. you weren’t able to see what happened, but by the way ayato gasped and grabbed your wrist you knew you fucked up pretty bad.

“what the hell were you thinking???” he pulls you up forcefully and pushes you down on his couch, where you started tearing up. you weren’t necessarily used to him yelling at you, for arguments, especially over such as this, were very minimal. he always found a way to come to an understanding with you, no matter what you may have ruined. 

“i’m sorry! i didn’t think thoma was just going to leave-” you were cut off by an angry voice.

“this isn’t thomas issue, y/n. it’s yours. how clueless can you be?” he brings his hands to his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose before groaning loudly. 

“i’m sorry that i can’t fucking see, ayato!” you yelled back, slamming your hands on the couch and leaning back. “is that what you wanted to hear?”

he shook his head, but you didn’t know that. he lays his hands on your thighs, squeezing them, before getting close to your face. you could smell his hair, the sakura shampoo he uses being evident. 

“i don’t want a fucking apology, y/n. if these documents are not in by friday, there is no change for inazuma. the change you’ve been awaiting, the change i’ve been awaiting, and the change everyone of the city has been awaiting. you took that away from all of them. because you decided you weren’t going to bring your cane to make sure you don’t fucking fall!” he yells to your face, making the tears spill out.

“i’m sorry! i just wanted to bring you something to drink because i was told you were overworking yourself. gosh, how bad of me for caring for my husband,” you yelled, hands shaking in both fear and rage. you knew talking back to him this way wouldn’t lead to anything good, but you tested your luck anyways.

“remove yourself from my office. i don’t care how the fuck you do it, but i demand you leave,” he said with a low, threatening tone. you knew he was enraged, and you stumbled through the door to the hallway, where ayaka was waiting to take you back to your room.

-> wriothesley

you always felt grateful for wriothesley, and the last thing you wanted to do was to upset him. he was one of the only people to look past your disability and see your heart, see your kindness and purity. 

so when you come up his office stairs very, very slowly with a cup of tea and trip on an uneven plate in the ground, ruining his documents that were incredibly important to him and the palais mermonia, especially to neuvillette, you knew you were screwed.

normally, this didn’t happen. he’d meet you down by his office door after a guard or sigewinne escorted you through the fortress, and help you walk up the stairs with the support of his arm.

he immediately slams his hands down on his table, walking over to where you were. 

you felt his presence looming over you, though unable to see it, you slowly and carefully sit up. he lifts up your chin before speaking.

“why. why would you do that,” he starts in a low tone, something similar he’d use to speaking to misbehaved criminals. “i told you not to visit me today. and what do you do? the complete fucking opposite!” 

you rub your eyes, trying to show no signs of weakness. you stand up, and he grabs your hands, making you feel the mess you made. ripped papers, bleeding ink. a month of progress is officially gone. 

“you feel what you did? that has taken me months! and it’s ruined! if i lose my job because of this-” he starts, dropping your hands as you turn around, your bottom leaning against the desk. 

“i’m sorry! i should’ve either stayed home or have a guard escort me up, i didn’t mean to ruin your progress!” you wipe more tears away, hearing him give an annoyed sigh. 

“you’re right. you shouldn’t have come at all. this would never have happened if you didn’t come. do you understand how much trouble i could be in? if you didn’t visit me at all, i wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of asking for new documents, and i wouldn’t have to do hundreds of papers in three damned days!” he says, obviously distressed.

“look, i’m sorry, okay?! you can tell neuvillette and all of fontaine that i was the one who ruined everything if you want to! i’m sorry about the hassle and i’m sorry for putting more stress on you! all i wanted to do was bring you a cup of tea because you left the house stressed this morning!” you yelled back, crying at this point. “if you don’t want the embarrassment, then you can embarrass me. it seems like i’ve done enough to deserve it, so do it! tell the whole world what i did wrong, and how horrible of a wife i was!”

you called a guard in to escort you out, and that was the last wriothesley had seen of you that day.

[galactic-magick]

here i come with arcane prompts bestie >:3

but this one might hurt ;-;

also SPOILERS FOR S1 IF ANYONE HASNT SEEN IT YET

/////

how about a reader's reaction to the council getting bombed O_O

their frantic attempts to find their lover(Viktor ofc :3), but who they find may not be the man they once knew TwT

I got a little carried away with this one bestie...

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I Thought You Were Dead: Viktor x Reader

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: Smut about halfway through. I put a *** before the smut starts in case anyone doesn't want to read that part. Reader has afab anatomy but no pronouns or feminine specific endearments are used. Also LORE SPOILERS, if you don't know what happens to Viktor in the League of Legends lore then don't read this!!

Author's Notes: This could be read as a part 2 to my other Viktor fic Nights Like This, which takes place in Act 1 whereas this takes place after season 1.

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The explosion was deafening.

You can feel your soul sink as soon as you step outside your house, watching the smoke surround the council building. Your feet start running before you’ve processed anything, pushing through the gasping crowds in the streets with their eyes glued to the same devastating spectacle.

Tears stream down your face against the dusty wind, praying to anyone who will listen that your worst fear hasn’t happened. Running as if getting there faster might change the outcome.

It can’t end like this. Not when you haven’t said everything you want to say. Not when you have so much left to do together.

Not when you haven’t said goodbye.

The truth is, you haven’t even seen your husband in several days, maybe even a whole week. He’s been distant lately, so consumed by his experiments that he rarely comes home anymore. You knew what you were getting into marrying a scientist, especially the finest scientist in Piltover, but it still hurts. It hurts to see him driving himself mad and getting sicker, refusing to let you take care of him like he used to. He doesn’t like when you come to visit him at the lab because it’s too dangerous, and he doesn’t come home because he wants to be in the lab—so you’ve stopped trying. You can’t bear to see him hardly eat or sleep for days. You know he loves you, and you still love him, but right now there’s no getting through to him, and all you can do is wait it out until he either comes to his senses or succumbs to his torturous research.

Your mind flashes back to all the fights you had, begging him to come home, begging him to let you stay by his side. You both said things you shouldn’t have, hearts torn apart in mourning of a marriage that once was so perfect. You miss the nights where you were each other's safe space, where the world didn’t feel so grand and overwhelming. You wonder when it was exactly that you stopped fighting, when you gave up on begging and simply loved him as much as you could whenever you finally saw him.

A large battalion of enforcers encircle the scene, pushing back civilians as they attempt to view what happened. The rubble has fallen into mountains, several of them on fire.

You know he was in there. He must’ve been.

“Where are the survivors?!” you demand, shoving against the enforcers.

“We have not found any yet. Please return to your home-”

You pull out the knife you keep in your pocket for emergencies, pressing it against the enforcer’s throat, “My husband was in there. I am not leaving until I find him.”

The other enforcers turn their weapons towards you, and you quickly realize you’ll never beat them with nothing but a dagger and deep rooted rage.

You drop the knife to the ground and put your hands up, awaiting your fate. Would they kill you? Send you home with a warning? Trial you?

Well, not without a council.

“Please…” the sobs return, their weapons still pointing at you. “I just want to know if he’s alive. Just let me look for his body-”

You’re cut off by hands on your wrists and mouth, handcuffing you and knocking you out.

Several months later...

You should’ve known any retaliation against an enforcer could get you thrown in here.

Back against the stone wall of your cell in Stillwater, you envision that day once again, hating yourself for being so stupid. Without the council, the enforcers have started throwing literally anyone in here. In an attempt to contain the chaos of no longer having a government, even the smallest crime or protest is equivalent to murder. All you did was threaten an officer for information on your husband, but that was enough to banish you from any possibility of ever seeing him again.

If he was alive, would he know to come find you? Or would he go back home to find you gone and assume you died? Would he throw himself back into his research regardless of the tragic accident, not even noticing you haven’t tried to visit him in months?

Most days it’s easier to just tell yourself he’s dead. The man you loved so deeply no longer exists, and you’ll never love again. This is your life now, cold and dark and hopeless.

You sink to the floor, leaning on your side in an effort to get some sleep.

Though your slumber is awakened not long after by terrifying noises down the hall.

A collection of screams, an alarm bell, and loud clanging fill your ears. You jump up, looking through the bars of your cell to get a glimpse. You see nothing, but then begin to hear stomping footsteps thundering towards your end of the hall.

You stumble back to the far wall, shaking as the footsteps get closer.

The first thing you see is a pair of glowing orange eyes staring at you through the bars, and your breath leaves your lungs.

Is this really how you’re fated to die?

With ease, the mysterious figure rips off the door with what looks like a mechanical arm. The dim light hits him, and your entire body trembles. He’s covered in metal plating and armor, his face covered with a thick mask. He doesn’t strike you as human, except for what looks like human hair falling around his head.

He walks towards you, and you cower in his shadow. What does this machine want from you? You have nothing.

He says your name, and you freeze. It’s modulated and echoed from the mask, but you are certain that’s what he said.

And you’re also certain you’ve heard that voice before.

The figure reaches his hand towards you, the cold metal of his fingers touching your face. It tingles, as if there’s energy sparking through. His other hand lifts off his mask and drops it to the floor.

“Viktor?”

Parts of his face are covered with metal plating, but it’s undoubtedly him. Same eyes, same nose, same cheekbones. His hair swooping down the sides of his forehead and the small gap between his teeth.

You throw your arms around him and kiss him, your body hitting his metal torso hard enough to leave a bruise, but you don’t care. You kiss him until there’s not a single atom of oxygen left in your lungs, and even then you risk a few seconds more, his lips worthy of causing suffocation. Your fingers slide into his hair, just as soft as your remember. He gently embraces you back, wary of hurting you with how tightly he wishes to hold you.

“Viktor—I went to find you that day—“ you pant for air. “I thought you were dead—“

“I know, darling, I know,” he kisses your forehead before fervently returning to your lips. “I thought you were dead too before I heard word of people being sent here.”

He breaks apart from you and you let out a soft whine, “Vik-”

“I have to get you out of here now, okay?”

You nod in understanding and grab onto him as he puts his mask back on. He races back down the hall, pushing any leftover guards out of his way. You cling onto him, in disbelief that he moves so fast with ease. So many questions run through your mind, but you know you’ll have to wait for answers.

He carries and holds you in silence until you both get to safety. You don’t recognize the place he’s taken you to, but it’s undoubtedly his space. The tools and gadgets all over the tables and walls, the dim light you don’t understand how anyone could work under, the journals with different equations written barely legibly. You wonder if your old home is still standing or has been taken by someone else. Either way, this is your home now.

With him.

He takes off his mask and you’re once again met with his beautiful face. Scarred and tired, but still more beautiful than you’ve ever seen him.

“I’m so sorry. For everything,” he says. “I know I will never be able to make it up to you, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I am never letting you leave my sight again.”

Your bodies instinctively wrap around each-other, him picking you up and setting you down on one of his desks. The sensation is so new, since he’s never been strong enough to lift you before. Despite the novelty though, it feels as if no time has passed, as if this is a routine you’ve done every day, his hands all over you as soon as you’re alone.

You want to ignore the insanity of all this, how the love of your life has returned to you encased in metal. You want to forego all the questions, letting him continue his kisses on your neck and the wandering fingers on your thigh. You wonder what he feels like now—if it’s different—if what he can do to you now will make you forget every tear you ever shed for him.

You sigh, completely drunk on his touches.

“Viktor…” You look into his eyes, tracing your thumbs along his now metallic jaw. “I want to know what happened to you. Please.”

His caresses slow, his focus shifting to your words, “I will tell you everything, I promise,”

You grasp his hands, “Then tell me.”

He exhales, looking down at himself. He doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to acknowledge the truth. He doesn’t want to risk you thinking of him differently or not loving him the same. Without you, he’d have nothing left to stay human for.

After all, he’s more machine than man now.

“I was as good as dead,” he finally says. “My injuries should’ve killed me, but an old…” he hesitates, “...friend found me. He helped me use hextech and shimmer to fix and augment my body. I’m stronger now, I can help more people now, I can protect you now. I’ve evolved beyond my human ailments-”

“Viktor,” you interrupt him. “Who helped you?”

He falls silent, fully aware you already know the answer.

“How could you?” you scold him. “How could you go back to that horrid, vile man? Who knows what he really did to you?”

“Singed may have unethical methods, but I assure you I’d be dead right now without him. You wouldn’t understand-”

“I understand that he sees you as nothing more than an experiment! What’s going to happen when this new body starts to break down? He’ll replace you with more mechanical parts until there’s nothing left of you. He does anything to make his specimens survive, and you know that!”

“So you’d rather me be dead? You’d rather still be in Stillwater, rotting your days away in misery?”

The floodgates of your glassy eyes break, and you let out the ugliest of sobs that have been building up for too long. No, you don’t want him dead, of course you don’t.

But there are fates worse than death.

You clumsily grab for him, pulling him between your legs and surrounding him with your limbs. Your lips crash together once more, this time more carnal and aggressive. Regardless of how angry you are, you can’t deny that you need him desperately. He cradles your face, wiping your tears away as they fall.

“Just promise me…” you beg into his mouth. “Promise me you won’t go back there again. Stay with me.”

“I promise,” he hums. “But you have to promise me something too.”

“What?” your eyes are already fluttering deliriously.

“You have to promise you’ll let me apologize every day of the rest of our lives,” he brushes his lips against your ear while his hands wander up your shirt, “And I think I know how you want me to do it.”

Your eyes widen, shivers already running down your spine.

***

It’s been so long, your body yearning for his as if you’ve been deprived from him for an eternity. You want to feel his new hands everywhere, his new fingers inside you…

Viktor wastes no time stripping you down, your shirt and bra flung across the room. He buries his face between your breasts for a moment before hoisting you up again, carrying you to the mattress in the corner.

“Since when do you ever have a proper place to sleep in your labs?” you laugh, sinking into the unexpected comfort.

“I didn’t get it for sleeping,” he smirks, placing kisses across your chest and shoulders, “I knew what I wanted to do as soon as I rescued you.”

“You’re telling me you got this bed just to fuck me?”

“Of course,” he shrugs, completely matter-of-factually.

You chuckle, a genuine smile stretching across your face so wide it almost hurts. You haven’t laughed or felt the pure joy and bliss of being in love in so long.

“I…” Viktor speaks again, hovering over you. “I don’t know fully what this new body can do. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” you smile, intertwining your fingers with his. “Is it...different?”

“Everything’s different,” he leans down to kiss you again. “Let’s just hope it’s in a good way.”

You nod enthusiastically, pulling him down to you. His cold metal torso presses against yours, a surprisingly pleasant sensation. You quickly acclimate to the new textures of his figure, wondering if any skin still exists.

He remembers all the places you like to be touched and kissed, and you grow more impatient by the minute. You’ve needed him—ached for him. You want him in any way he can give you.

He pulls off the rest of your clothes, teasing his mechanical fingers in circles around your clit.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

“Mmhmm,” you moan, slithering your own fingers into his hair.

Viktor’s always been good with his hands, being an inventor and all. He’s never once failed to satisfy you with his hands alone since you’ve been together, and he certainly wasn’t stopping now. He goes slowly, constantly needing reassurance that you’re alright. There’s nothing sharp about his fingers, a relief to both of you. They move just like his old flesh did, pulsing in and out with the finest precision. There’s moments where you feel a slight vibration, although you’re unsure if he’s doing that purposefully. Either way, he keeps you in ecstasy until you eventually come undone.

You pull his lips back up to yours immediately, craving his taste. His hands run down your body once again before returning back to the same spot.

You yelp his name as he works more fingers inside you. This is unheard of, him going back for more so soon. You had grown accustomed to his low stamina from before, and you never minded multiple rounds being a rarity. But now there’s not a single hint of exhaustion on his face, his augments freeing him from much of the pain that used to plague him. Instead there’s determination in his eyes, a drive to make love to you until you can’t take it anymore.

He builds you up to your second orgasm of the night, kissing and holding you softly as you come down from it.

“Viktor…” you sigh, completely out of breath. “I want to make you feel good too.”

He shakes his head, watching as your hands slide down his body, “Darling, I...I’m not sure if everything works the same. You don’t have to worry about me—“

“Let me try,” you plead. “Does any of this come off?”

He nods, removing the outer layers of metal with clicks and hisses. It was hard for you to tell where the armor ended and his body began, but the more he takes off, the more you recognize his familiar silhouette. There’s still patches of flesh here and there—warm skin to your fingertips, fused with the augmentations flawlessly.

And it seems the area you’ve wanted to see is one of the places untouched.

Well, not completely untouched. It’s covered in glowing purple veins, throbbing like they’ll explode any second. Viktor looks into your eyes nervously, and you reassure him with a kiss.

“It’ll be okay,” your breaths are hot, hovering over his lips. “Now tell me what you want, darling.”

“You.” he moans as your hand takes hold of his hardness.

“Everything seems to be working fine to me,” you smile, lining him up with your entrance. “I’m ready when you are.”

He’s shaking, for the first time since all his enhancements. He’s been so strong—no—indestructible, yet one look at you and the vulnerability returns in crashing waves. He’s still the same man you fell in love with, but now he could too easily hurt you.

He presses in slowly, eyes locked on your expressions for any sign of discomfort, but they never come. Instead, the noises and faces you make could be enough for him to finish right then and there if he didn’t have such control.

“Viktor…” you sigh, pulling him towards you as he bottoms out. “I’m okay. Are you okay?”

He stamps kisses on your jaw, then nuzzles his nose into your neck, “You feel even better than I remembered.”

“Do I now?” you chuckle, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes as he looks back up at you.

“Mmhmm,” he begins to thrust in and out slowly, earning more luscious sounds from your lips.

There’s so much of him that feels the same, but the sensation is so new. Is he bigger than before? Is it just the different texture from the shimmer experiments? You’re not sure, all you truly care about is that he feels divine.

You’re both getting close, whispering “I love you’s” until the long awaited release. He holds you tightly afterwards, refusing to let go until you both catch your breath.

“Viktor,” you ruffle his hair. “As amazing as that was, I don’t think I can handle a round four.”

He chuckles, “That’s alright. I’ll only go as long as you want me to. There’s always tomorrow.”

You giggle, kissing the top of his head. You push yourself up on your elbows, looking at the mess you both made, “I think we ruined your new mattress.”

He glances as well, noticing the cum stains, some of them a light purple color, a supposed side effect of the shimmer, “We’ll get a new one. For now lets get you cleaned up.”

He picks you up in one swift motion, carrying you outside. His new lab is conveniently next to the river, and far away enough from other houses to protect your decency. The water is cold, but not unbearably so. The stickiness rinses off, and you’re left to admire your lover once again in the moonlight.

He glistens under the stars, his gaze soft and sweet, just as it’s always been. His hands never leave you, caressing your wet skin gently and adoringly.

He’s still everything you’ve ever wanted. He’s still the man you’d die and kill for.

He’s still the one you’ll spend the rest of your days with, no matter what he becomes.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Say You'll Remember Me

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: This one came to me right after S2 Ep 2 so…beware of sad. Shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for beta reading and letting me crush her heart a little

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

I remember the first time I saw him. People in Jackson started whispering the moment he and his teenage daughter came through the gates. I caught a glimpse of him through Tommy's mussed up curls as he embraced him, fists pounding on the other's back. I couldn't make him out clearly. 

I remember asking Tommy later that day who he was. “My big brother,” he said with a small smile. “I thought he was dead and here he is!” 

I remember literally bumping into him later that night, his strong hands gripping my shoulders to keep me steady. His eyes find mine, and I remember momentarily forgetting to breathe. He was older than me, greys streaking through his hair. His eyes were big and brown and sad. 

I remember hearing his voice, gruff but soothing, a drawl like Tommy's spilling from his lips. “Are you alright?” I think I nodded. I know I smiled like a damn school girl. “All set.” Yeah. That's what I said. I remember being so embarrassed, but a tiny smirk ticked up the corner of his mouth. “Alright then.” 

I remember looking for him the next day but instead finding Tommy, who told me he and his daughter, Ellie, had left. Not his daughter but may as well be. Some sort of quest. He didn't give me details and I didn't ask. 

I remember thinking of him often. I never had a man have this effect on me before. I found myself wondering if he would come back. And if he did, would I have the courage to speak to him?

I remember the spring day when he returned, Ellie and him. Something was different. Changed. I didn't know what but I was so thrilled to see him again that I didn't pay it any mind at that moment. 

I remember talking to myself in the mirror, hyping myself up to bring him a cup of coffee. I don't drink it as often as others, so I had a bit of a stash left from our last run. 

I remember him opening the door when I knocked, his eyes still sad but focused fully on me, until he saw the coffee I held out. I remember the way his eyes lit up, the smile that crossed his face, and I remember thinking how beautiful he was. 

I remember bringing him coffee every day for 2 weeks before Maria pulled me aside, her belly big and round, and told me to “Stay away from Joel Miller. He's not a good man.” I remember I didn't give a fuck what she'd said. Lucky for me, she went into labor not too long after and was busy with a newborn. 

I remember our conversations on his front porch that eventually moved inside. He started making me breakfast. And when he learned that I was giving him my ration of sugar for his coffee, he added bacon to the mix. 

I remember the first time I heard him laugh, head thrown back, belly shaking, tears running down his face. I vowed to myself to try and make him laugh like that as often as I could. 

I remember the first town party we went to, the first dance we had. I remember that's when it shifted, from friends to…something more. He looked down at me, his eyes glancing down at my lips before he pulled away. 

I remember following him all the way to his house, standing on his porch as he told me he was too old for me. I remember telling him that I was 35 and didn't care. 

I remember the first moment his lips touched mine. Hesitant at first, then desperation. Slightly chapped but still so soft as he kissed a path down my neck. 

I remember the first time he laid between my thighs, making me feel things I'd never felt before. I remember laying with him after, my head on his chest listening to his heart and thinking that I never wanted to leave. 

I remember us officially making our couple debut in town, how Tommy clapped him on the back and winked at me. How Maria rolled her eyes but still always supported us. 

I remember we bickered sometimes, but we always made up. 

I remember the sadness creeping back in the further Ellie pushed away from him. “Give her time,” I'd said. After all, she's still a teenager. 

I remember watching as he helped fortify and expand Jackson. The way his muscles pulled under his shirt, the sweat dripping from his brow. I remember the massages I'd give him and the sounds he'd make, both from the massage and when he slid between my legs. 

I remember being happy. 

I remember that morning. It was cold. Likely a blizzard coming through later. I remember him pressing a kiss to my forehead as he left early for patrol with Dina. I remember grabbing his wrist and begging him to stay in bed with me. 

I remember him saying he loved me and that he'd see me later. 

I remember the day going by and going about my chores, preparing our home for the blizzard that had already crept over the horizon. I remember hoping he and Dina and the others on patrol would find a safe place to wait out the storm.

I remember waking. I must have fallen asleep. The day was late and he wasn't back. 

I remember the pit in my stomach that appeared out of nowhere. I remember thinking something isn't right. 

I remember the knock. The sound was small but it echoed in my head. I remember wanting to be sick. 

I remember the look on Tommy's face right before he told me and my world split apart. I remember crumbling to the floor, a wail I'd never made before clawing it's way out and down the street. I remember Tommy joining me, holding me while we both mourned. 

I remember seeing him laying on a table under a sheet. I remember seeing his knuckles, bruised, chapped, and bleeding. I remember grabbing his hand, hoping that he'd jump up and announce the world's worst joke ever. I remember nearly vomiting at the coldness of his hand. I remember Tommy telling me not to look under the sheet, begging me not to. 

I remember ignoring him. 

I remember pulling back the sheet and seeing his broken and battered face, his blown out kneecap, the broken bones. I remember screaming and crying, rage filling me and spilling over. I remember yelling as loud as I could for as long as I could. When I couldn't rage anymore, I planted a soft kiss on his forehead. 

I remember getting a bucket of water and a cloth, gently cleaning him of all the dried blood. I remember Tommy coming in while I was doing this. He said nothing but returned a short while later with one of Joel's favorite outfits that we put on him. 

I remember the funeral. I don't remember the words said but I remember watching them lower him into the ground, half of me going with him. I stayed there long after the sun went down, staring  at a tombstone that simply read JOEL MILLER. 

I remember how quiet the house got. And how loud that silence was. No puttering about in the kitchen, tinkering with random things. No making breakfast. No sound of boots on the floor. My bed was cold and empty. I remember sleeping in his shirts just to feel him with me. And then I would wake up and remember. 

I remember a couple months later when I realized I was pregnant. “How can I do this without him?” I cried in Tommy and Maria's arms. “He didn't even know! Maybe if he knew, he wouldn't have gone on patrol and then he'd….he'd..” Tommy told me to not think that. Those people had it out for him and they'd have come one way or another. 

I remember so many nights crying for him, the hole in my heart the same size as it was the moment Tommy knocked on my door. Ellie came back inside the house then, helping me when I needed it. 

I remember calling for him when I was giving birth. I yelled for him to be here and out she came, our daughter, Sarah. The moment she was laid on my chest, she turned and looked at me and I saw his eyes staring back out at me. And it was then I realized. 

It's my job to remember. 

Remember how she looked at birth. Her first steps. Her first food. Remember how she mispronounced words, what her favorite book was, how she fell out of the tree in the backyard and nearly broke her arm. How she was just as stubborn and headstrong as him. How she met a boy and fell in love. How they also had a child and we became grandparents. How those grandkids are and what joy they bring to my life. 

I remember sitting in my chair, looking out into our backyard at the tree he'd carved our initials in claiming the house as our own. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and look up into beautiful brown eyes that I'd seen every night in my dreams. 

“Hey sweetheart. All set?”

I can't wait to show him what I remember. 

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[elexuscal]

So just over a year ago, I made a resolution to myself to get better at Fitness, since I was getting older and i knew if i didn't, the Consequences would begin to manifest. One problem? Historically i have always hated working out.

i knew there were two main reasons why: 1. lingering trauma from the usual Fat/Neurodivergent Kid Mistreated In PE Class Experience 2. oh my god it's so so so boring i would rather do anything more entertaining.

So. I'm not an expert, and i'm definitely not a professional fitness instructor, BUT i have genuinely come to not just tolerate but actually enjoy exercise this past year. So if these are any problems you personally have contended with, these strategies May Help.

One: Remove Barriers

a lot of flavours of neurodivergence struggle with switching between tasks and executive function generally, especially towards something you don't find fun. So first you gotta identify any barriers keeping you from exercising, and removing or mitigating them.

For me, a hurdle i recognised is that if I could not easily access the equipment, I was unlikely to use it. honestly if i couldn't see it i would probably forget it was there. So my first order of business was making a Work Out Zone. I unrolled my yoga mat and gave it a near-permanent place in my room. my weights came out of the closet and placed on a low shelf where i could easily access them, as did my resistance band. now they were always Right there.

I also realised something I detested was the general feeling of sweaty clothes, and in particular, having to change out of them. So Gross. so i started scheduling my work outs for in the the morning after breakfast or right before my nightly showers, aka: when I am changing in and out of my PJs. I'll do my routine (mostly) naked and not have to contend with the extra steps and laundry that sweaty clothes bring.

two: secondary entertainment

like i said: i found exercise very boring. and while i've gotten better over the past year, and can find it meditative, i still prefer having something else to catch my attention.

i used to like to put on video essays. but then i realised i was so often pausing my work outs because the particular video ended, or the pace got slow, or the topic turned to something dark and depressing out of nowhere and killed the vibe, so then i had to stop to find something else--

No. You need something that will keep you in the zone, and won't knock you out of it. I didn't used to listen to music much, but this year i took advantage of a Spotify subscription my sister gifted me (😔) and started just putting on upbeat rock, hip-hop, and pop mixes. it doesn't need to be my favouirte music ever it just needs to Keep Going.

i do find the loud, rhythmic music is really good for keeping my pace up, but if music doesn't do it for you, you might find audiobooks or autoplaying favourite old tv shows/sitcoms might scratch that itch.

Three: Find Other Motivators

Or, "if you can't make your own motivation, store bought is fine"

Gameification is really good here. You might be someone who'll benefit from a pedometer or step-counter app. I have a friend who swears by the Switch Ring-Fit, and I've also heard of folks who use games like Just Dance, Zombies, Run! and Beat Saber to rely on the sweet sweet endorphins generated by hitting a high score.

(BUT: do beware the dark side of gameification, which is the risk of demotivation if you don't hit your goals. For example, after doing GREAT on exceeding my step goal for a month, I got hit with COVID. For about a week and a half I was barely moving beyond the kitchen and back. My step counts plummeted, there was no way to edit the record out, and that made it harder to get back into the groove. Be mindful relying too much on gameification!)

Even outside of literal games, there are ways to scratch this itch. I used secondary objectives as a way to encourage me to keep up with my daily walks. Walking my roommate's dog when he was working long days is an obvious one, but we don't always have a furry friend at our disposal. Then I would rely on mini-challenges like, "pick up 10 cool rocks to paint", "fill this bag with wood for the fireplace", "take 10 pretty pictures", or "get to the corner store to get more milk".

And of course, consider team sports! Many folks I've talked to feel having set training/play times with a team that relies on them crucial to keep them on track!

Four: Don't Measure Success By Weight Loss

I know. I know. Easier said than done. It does not help that like 80% of workout resources online are going to mention this. but above all else, you must resist the beast. (and while not as dicey, measuring success by visible muscle gain can fall into a similar trap).

The biggest benefits to exercise are invisible. it improves cardiovascular health, brain function, tissue regeneration, immune system function, lung capacity, energy levels, literally our whole body. no matter what external changes your body does or doesn't go through, you're still going to be benefitting from exercise, and you do not want to get demotivated chasing unrealistic/irrelevant goals.

Instead, to track your progress, focus on questions like these:

How is exercise impacting my mood? Do I feel less stressed or anxious?

Am I sleeping better?

Is my balance improving?

Is my stamina increasing?

Am I becoming more flexible?

Can I lift/carry heavier weights?

Is my breath control improving?

Over the last year, I've seen marked improvements in all of these. My joints don't hurt as much; it's easier for me to to get up and move; I don't get winded as easily; I generally feel more relaxed and cheerful. Those are all amazing outcomes, and I hope that everyone on their own fitness journey can find the same joy there as I have.

[toovaeloe]

bus stop 𝝑𝝔 “If I was your boyfriend, you sure as hell wouldn’t be waiting at a bus stop.”

suguru geto x genderneutral reader

no curse au

You’ve used the “I have a boyfriend” excuse and you may have just manifested one. Or a gorgeous man, at the very least

☁️🚏☁️

This was the worst, you think. Had to be punishment for something you did in a past life.

For starters, you were late for work. Was it your fault for staying up so late, giggling and doom-scrolling through mounds of mind numbing media? Yeah, maybe…

Let’s blame it on the weather. Your alarm didn’t wake you up after you silenced it. The neighbor’s dog wouldn’t stop barking through the night. But it’s not like you could tell your boss any off that.

So that’s why you raced out the door, haphazardly juggling your belongings in your arms. Wallet. Keys. Phone. Something else you couldn’t quite remember at the moment. Did you have everything? Probably; no time to check now. Only to find when you stomped on the brake and turned the key in the ignition…your car wouldn’t start.

Sputter…sputter…and then nothing.

Great.

There’s your late-to-work-excuse.

Maybe you shouldn’t have ignored the “maintenance needed” symbols that have been lighting up your dash like they want their own holiday. To be fair, time and money just weren’t things that came in abundance.

In any case, as you were sitting in that local garage enduring the mechanic babbling on about vehicle expertise junk you just couldn’t begin to understand, zoning out and nodding every few minutes with a halfhearted “hmm,” so it at least looked like you were absorbing information…you made note to at least revisit the idea of changing your smoke alarm’s batteries before it decided to turn on you, too.

But that was last week.

7-9 business days.

That’s how long until your car would be up and running again. Apparently, according to the mechanic, you were lucky it was even that. Apparently. Which meant you needed some other means of transportation to and from work and such.

Lucky you had the local bus service, right?

WRONG.

They were always late, but you still felt the need to get to the stops on time, lest you have a repeat of 5 days ago. (You showed up only 2 minutes late and were left behind at the store. Had to wait for an hour for your friend to get off her shift and come pick you up.) You highly doubted it, but what with the way the world was shitting on you right now, it wasn’t out of the question. And the city’s money obviously wasn’t going towards public transportation— they could qualify as garbage trucks if they really needed them with how trashed they were. Mystery sticky patches on the seat, gum underneath. The inconsolable children whining their heads off. That was kind of cute at first, but now it made you want to throw yourself out the window. The whole thing was just the experience that you could expect from a free public transportation system.

And why was it so rainy this month??? Ugh.

But what could you do but make do with what you had? Complaining definitely wasn’t making your shoes any less waterlogged. Be grateful, or some shit like that.

That evening, however, as you were waiting twenty minutes past the time the bus was supposed to arrive at the stop after an exhausting work day…you were just so fed up with everything. With the puddle water soaking through your shoes, with the way you had to stand because the benches were damp…with this rando-guy who had walked up next to you that you were half sure kept looking at you. To say the least, it only served to annoy you in your already sour mood.

You were willing to just ignore it. Until he stepped closer.

“Hey I’m uh…I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you around.”

Oooohh boy.

“Yeah, yeah, it is you. I’ been taking the bus sometimes. Usually I’m riding my motorcycle but uh, not today.”

Did you ask?

“Thought I’d drop by.”

The public bus stop. (???)

“What’s yer name, toots?”

Yeah no. Go back to the 1950’s and maybe that’d work there. You’d rather lick the mystery sticky shit off the bus seat. You could pick up a date 10x better without opposable thumbs.

All of the above is what you would’ve liked to say. Alas, you were tired. You didn’t want trouble that would take more energy than it was worth. So before he could go any further, you just coined the foolproof line.

“I have a boyfriend.”

Lie. You didn’t, but it was the first thing that came to mind. And if that didn’t make him lose interest, then he must really be a pathetic asswipe.

Sadly, he was. In terms of getting the hint to shut up, the guy looked barely deterred; offended even, as he prattled on.

“Well why were you acting so into me then, huh?” You definitely didn’t. You don’t even know this dude.

“I wasn’t even going for you.” He definitely was.

“You’re—“ X, Y, and Z. Just because his game is trifling?? You felt a headache coming on. And maybe a bout of anxiety. People are crazy, and the last thing you wanted was for this needless situation to escalate into something dangerous.

The entire mess was occurring just as Suguru was making the commute to work on the same street. But he found himself slowing nearly to a stop when he caught sight of you.

How could a person look so exhausted; hair extra frizzy, floccose from the humid rain, clothes soaked, droplets of the downpour dribbling onto your cheeks and blinked away from your lashes…and still so breathtaking? Or perhaps that was part of your beauty in this moment. You looked every bit done with the day, but who knew when- if— he’d ever see you again? He’d be stupid, a fool to not at least try to strike up a conversation with you. He’d be…

…Probably like that idiot.

A sulky moue twisted at his expression as he witnessed the disgraceful way this loser was fumbling. Oh dear. His approach lacked so much grace, so much respect…it was really just distasteful. You didn’t deserve that. And frankly, he didn’t think he deserved to watch you be treated like that when he knew he could do so much better.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

A merry sounding tone directed your way had your head sharply whipping to the source. A tall dark haired man you’ve never seen before; layered in a gray colored quarter zip and dark slacks, you think. His approach was casual and relaxed, a subtly jovial yet inherently guileful grin tugging at his lips. He even waved to you like an old friend. His entire facade was so convincing you considered for a moment if you had known him from somewhere and simply forgotten.

No, you really wouldn’t have forgotten a face like that. Eyes like those. A presence so contrasting of itself and yet so cohesive in its own way, if you had to try and describe it. Just a damn beautiful man. With eyebrows that were beginning to crease on his forehead.

Ooh, you were staring.

More than that, he was giving you a pointed look that you didn’t notice while drooling over the poor guy. Unfortunately for you, slo-mo’s only happened in movies, and in reality you just looked like an ogling dork. But you didn’t have time to dwell on your embarrassment when he was quite obviously urging you to play along with this illusion he was creating.

And so you did.

“Oh- hi! No worries,” You insisted in an awkward attempt to adapt to this new charade.

“‘Hasn’t been that long,” though your reaction to his presence wasn’t as well-articulated, it was convincing enough.

The other dude looked to be at least somewhat suspicious, and might’ve spoken on it if wasn’t for Geto’s scrutinizing gaze and a simple raise of his brow.

“Can I help you?” And just for good measure, he’d wrap his arm around you, sliding his hand into your coat pocket as if he’s done it a million times before to pull you closer against him. Whatever glare this ravenette man was glowering down the length of his nose at this guy with must’ve been scarring, because he murmured some half-assed excuse before scampering away.

You idly wondered how’d he get wherever he was going without the bus.

Or maybe you’d have more time to think about it if your brain wasn’t short-circuiting, acutely aware of the unworldly attractive man’s hand resting just over your hip.

“Sorry,” Geto spoke after a few beats, languidly retracting his arm from your coat and back to his side. “You looked like you were about to burst a blood vessel entertaining him. I hope I didn’t overstep. Y’know, with your boyfriend and all.” He had to have overheard you earlier.

But the way he spoke made it sound as if he doubted that fact, glancing to either side of you as if to say That is nowhere in sight..? without being so overtly rude. Or maybe he just wasn’t all that apologetic.

“That-! Yeah,” You pepped with a nervous pitter of laughter, “yeah…it’s not a problem, thanks.”

Your hand gravitated to the zipper of your jacket, absentmindedly fiddling with it as you frantically thought up an at least half decent explanation. One that wouldn’t make you sound more clumsy than you already felt.

“He’s not real, so he won’t mind.”

Yeah, real smooth. What was that you said; about being able to pick up a date without opposable thumbs? You’d need at least ten pairs of hands.

But Suguru didn’t seem to mind. In fact, his grin widened into something toothy and almost boyish, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that added an innocent charm to his otherwise elegant features. He found it endearing.

“Perfect,” His response was coupled with a discreet chuckle.

“Don’t feel obligated,” He’d continue as he reached to the side of you. So close to brushing your shoulder, it made your breath hitch. Though truly he was reaching around you, sharply tearing a flier from the side of the bus stop and pulling a pen from one of his pockets. If you were paying more attention you’d have noticed the glint of impish amusement in his umber eyes that led one to believe that action was more deliberate than he let on.

Still, he’d make quick work of jotting down a phone number and the address of a nice restaurant he’s been meaning to try with Satoru— but plans change. “but I’d like to take you out. I was on my way over to ask you, anyhow.”

He offered the page to you; his handwriting as sumptuous and calligraphic as you would’ve expected his penmanship to be; in the margins of some tacky ad for a lawn mowing service. As you went to accept the paper, however, he rescinded it from reach. All whilst drawing closer so that his piercing dark amber eyes held your gaze with an unwavering intensity. The kind that made your stomach do flips and stole your breath away.

“And for the record,” He spoke quietly but poised; a conspiratorial whisper for only you, him, and the rain to witness. “if I was your boyfriend, you sure as hell wouldn’t be waiting at a bus stop.”

There wasn’t time to react; he was already slipping the page into your pocket, withdrawing to a comfortable proximity all the while waving you off and wishing you well with a kind smile, disappearing someplace else.

You didn’t even catch his name.

At least your bus was here.

a/n: I had something to say but I totally forgot 😭

OH but I did add an upcoming section to my masterlist so you can see my works in the works if you’d like! 🤍 always open to ideas too

Dear god I crave geto with that loose low bun that’s barely a bun kind of hairstyle. Ykwim???

ty for reading 🤍🤍🤍 love you have a lovely lovely day or night

edit: OMG THATS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY. I kept accidentally writing bust stop instead of bus stop as I wrote this. So, sorry if you bust

☁️☁️☁️

[bluexiao]

#monsieur neuvillette’s relationship headcanons

NOTES. finally a work after months. i missed this, tbh. but hey, here’s my new husband for you. might also have a part 2 of this i feel like i haven’t written everything yet

WARNING. real identity spoilers (nothing too explicit from the current archon quest i haven’t even done it yet oops)

NEUVILLETTE

(Before)

Before the relationship began, it took a long while for him to truly process what he had been feeling towards you—to be frank, he even thought he was getting sick (which was impossible. He never got sick.), though that thought comes to an end the moment he realizes that the effects only happen when he is around you. Only you.

He had heard of love before. Had seen love. Had read about love. Not just the platonic or familial ones, but also romance and more. And yet, he does not understand them, simply because he considers them as something someone like him would not eventually feel.

And yet, it all changed when he first saw you. Curiosity turns to admiration, and admiration turns to anxiety—which is never good; the sweating on his hands and the back of his neck, and the pressure on his chest whenever your presence comes.

He was only reminded of the term romance when he consulted Sigewinne about it.

“Does it only happen around a certain person, Monsieur?” “Monsieur, I think you are simply in love,” she says. “Humans do tend to have the same symptoms but it does not necessarily mean you are sick. It appears to me that you feel the same as well. Does their presence give you happiness?”

He did not even need to ponder over his answer. What he does ponder over is how he should deal with it. The evidence is overwhelming, and there is only one verdict. And yet, where does this lead to?

Contrary to popular belief, he will confess as soon as he is sure of his feelings. He is an honest and honorable man. He would confess his feelings if he could, but it did take some time knowing how busy his schedule was.

The only thing that probably was able to push him to go through was the Melusines. It took them weeks to have him clear his schedule up for a nice little dinner date that they had planned and suggested to the Monsieur.

“Recently, I have come to realize that I have developed a romantic interest with you, Y/n.”

“I do not intend to put pressure on you. I shall accept whatever judgment you make. I do not wish for you to change how you treat me in any way.”

“If you may… I can only ask to indulge in this meal with you for tonight. Your company eases me greatly.”

Brutally honest. It may even drive you crazy how this all seems so easy on him.

But in reality, his palms were sweating underneath his gloves and the slightly cool sensation of the utensils as he blurts out his intentions for setting up such an occasion. His heart was pounding but he could not process whether this was about how you looked especially good tonight or his nervousness with finally confessing his feelings for you.

Or maybe both. Either way, all evidence of such leads to only one thing—you.

Bonus; I do think he’ll reveal who he is first before he gets into a relationship with you but that really depends on how observant you are.

(During)

It was a surprise to him, at the very least, how he had managed to keep you as his lover despite what he lacks. He knew how he was not well-versed with “feelings” per se (just in his mind), but you, the angel that you’ve always been, chose to be with him.

The sudden change did not occur to him much, actually. But he did notice how much his mind lingers to you more often than not, and how he will end up recalling how you are now his one and only lover.

It takes time for him to adjust, but it all started with frequent conversations (much more than before), then sending flowers to your place every other day (constantly), though most of the time they’re delivered by someone else, knowing how busy he is as the Chief Justice.

Or when he started to first brush his gloved fingers to yours.

When he does something, it will be constant. (Maybe this also comes from being responsible and disciplined as shown by being the Chief Justice). All the things that he did before, he still does them now—unless you’ve told him no, of course.

He is definitely a man of his honor!!

And would always ask for your permission first before he touches your hand, or holds them, or hugs you, or kisses you.

He does like pampering and showering you with “offerings” though.

Stuff like buying your favorite flowers or trinkets once or twice a week, making sure you have enough supply of the best water out there. And even with how he always has an umbrella or parasol for you (ones he got ever since you got together; one in his office, one that’s foldable for him to carry under his coat, and one he gave to you for every time you leave the house.

Through the course of the relationship, he learned about the beauty of life, which is how he sometimes brings you flowers despite its short life. However, he still secretly prefers giving you trinkets for your hoard of gifts from him, mostly because it symbolizes his everlasting love for you. (He’s very romantic like that, even if he does not know he is)

He will also introduce every single Melusine in Fontaine. At first, it may surprise you how he knows all of their names, but it will surprise you even more the moment you realize you could do the same. If you do, he’ll love you even more (which he thought was impossible at first as he knew he already loves you very much).

The Melusines will treat you as their other parent the moment it is known amongst all of them that you’re his lover. Sigewinne, for one, would always give you a personalized gift. She would also always send you letters to ask how you are and probably be quite excited whenever you accept an invitation for a cup of tea.

Monsieur Neuvillete is not jealous, but he is possessive and territorial. It’s a dragon instinct, forgive him.

It also comes with being protective. Though he’s not feral, he would make sure to always shield you away from any harm, or anything that might take you away.

One time, he had to deal with a bunch of… shameless individuals who had tried to make a move on you, and though he has great trust on you, he cannot help but have the same self-deprecating voices in the back of his mind.

Though instinctively, he finds himself buying you trinkets or flowers again.

“Hm? You just gave me one earlier, didn’t you?” You look up with a confused look but still hold that smile that stirs butterflies in his chest.

He nodded. “The flowers reminded me of you, mon amour. I could not help but feel the urge to give it to you.”

It does not stop him from giving you offerings.

Of course, he cannot just give up on you. The ruling of whoever deserves your love and affection the most. Of course, he is at an advantage knowing that he’s already your lover.

“Is there something wrong?” You looked up to him, hearing the pitter patter of the rain outside through the taps on the windows. You had your hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them with your palms.

“It’s nothing, mon cœur, no need to worry.” He flashes you a reassuring smile, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered how you could have thought to check on him. Is it perhaps the gloominess in the atmosphere?

You frown as you look at him intently, “There are times when you’d shower me gifts with a saddened look on you. I’m worried, is all.”

He stares at you then. Ah, so you noticed, he thought.

He chuckles as he shakes his head and stands right next to you. “May I?” He opens his arms and you nod and dive right into his chest. He enclosed you into an embrace, relishing the feeling of your warmth.

He kisses your forehead then. “Allow me to bask in your presence for a while.”

For short, one of the best. Definitely a 100/10.

[ox-imagines]

Tokyo Debunker as Romance Tropes

Feel free to ask me to write a longer imagine/oneshot for any of these!

Pt. 3 | Jabberwock

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7

Haru - Love at First Sight

Haru is a very busy man. He’s always on the go, rarely ever thinking about romance because he’s got thirty-thousand other things on his mind. One day, all these things weighing on him distracted him enough that Peekaboo managed to get out of his pen, wandering off out the back door that Ren had left open again. When he realized Peekaboo was missing he almost lost it, flying into a full panic and racing out the door. He found him playing with you in a large clearing in Jabberwock, you sitting on the ground picking wildflowers and handing them to Peekaboo, who’d sort them into piles based on their color. He was so relieved he came to a dead stop on the spot, a horrid crunch coming from one of his ankles from the sudden force of his momentum. He fell over, wincing softly, and you quickly moved over toward him, asking if he was ok. When he looked up at you, his breath caught in his throat. The sun was behind you, framing you and lighting up your loose hairs like they were glowing, and you wore a soft, concerned look on your face, which as far as he was concerned may well have been the prettiest face he’d ever seen.

“I, um, I’ll be fine, it, it happens! Thank you for watching my baby, I can’t believe I let him escape… whaddya say I, uh, treat you to dinner tonight as a thank-you?”

Towa - Soulmates

Towa has always loved the idea of soulmates. Towa loves love, period. Unfortunately, his love and devotion to Haru get in the way of him finding his own soulmate. At least, until you come into his life. He thinks you’re perfect: you understand him better than anyone ever has before, you’ve got an uncanny way of keeping his rapid mood swings at bay, and soon, he listens to you and does things for you unlike he will for anyone but Haru. The two of you can often even communicate without words, you adapting to his nonverbal tendencies so well you sometimes adopt them when you’re around him. You’re a bit free-spirited, but grounded enough that his wild, free spirit is calmed around you. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, Towa does, and he’s certain that you’re his and won’t hesitate to let you know that on a regular basis. He regularly comes to you with R&R permits asking you to go off campus with him.

“~~~. You’re the one for me, Dandelion. Please never change~”

Ren - Roommates

All things considered, Ren is a good roommate. He doesn’t really help clean, but he also doesn’t spend much time outside his room to make much of a mess in the first place. He minds his own business, he never makes much noise, and sometimes, you can convince him to play video games with you. Ren loves video games. Sometimes, Ren loves video games more than he cares about his personal space, at least considering you’re also laid-back and mind his boundaries, so every once in a while he’ll even invite you into his room to play something with him, or watch game playthrough videos. One day, he does something you wouldn’t have ever expected of him, inviting you to watch a movie with him. You agree and go make popcorn, only to realize he’d meant in his room rather than the living room. You end up sitting up at his headboard together rather than perched on the end of his bed like you usually do when you’re in there. This becomes more frequent, the space between your shoulders decreasing little by little each time, until the night you fall asleep on his shoulder. He gets flustered, not even realizing you’re asleep at first, but he can’t deny that it’s a nice feeling to have you cuddled up next to him like that.

“So, uh. There’s a new movie that came out a couple weeks ago and it’s available to rent now, do you maybe wanna watch it tonight? I know you don’t love horror stuff, but…”

[lovebvni]

mindset of manifestation & how i manifest

like melanie martínez, i am back from the dead.

i apologize for being gone so long, but i needed a break from tumblr. i saw toxicity swirling in the community, my life got busy, and i decided it was just time for a break. when i was planking to come back, i just saw how things got terrible and i got upset and decided not to come back.

so, im back now and with a little tutorial on how i manifest!!! <3 i hope this can help some of you out.

let’s start with background.

manifesting is kind of like predicting the future. you have something you want to happen, then it happens soon after. i feel like this is the easiest way to get into the manifestation mindset. you cannot change what you’re getting if you want it. could you change your mind later and return it like a package? yes! but before it arrives, you know it’s arrival is coming.

sure, there can be delays, but it all is going to turn out YOUR way in the end.

nile and i have been working on our mindset and this is something they wrote that i think can be really helpful — as it was to me.

from the past two years we have been actively manifesting, we learned that we often saw things as “crazy”. but manifesting isn’t crazy, it’s quite normal.

every time you get dressed in the morning, it’s an act of manifestation. you’re showing up with what you want.

manifestation is a mondane activity!! stop treating it like it was a kiss from an angel!

by reading this, you’re manifesting your eyes working, you’ve used your hands to open an app, and you have believed you can read and get through this blog! without manifesting that, you would not be here.

the first step to manifestation is believing you can do it, believing you have done it, and believing you will continue to do it. period.

there are many MANY different ways to manifest, but i manifest in 3 ways (sometimes i use all three, sometimes i use just 1 or 2.)

!! I ALMOSR FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND IM ADDING IT BEFORE I GET TO NUMBER 2 OMG!!

STOP! BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO GET A NOTEBOOK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR MAKE A CHECKLIST ON YOUR PHONE IN YOUR NOTES APP!!!

now i want you to write down everything you want right now down and leave the boxes blank if you haven’t gotten them yet.

once you get through that, i want you to randomly click between some of the items you want and write down things you wanted that you did get! they can be some simple and things from years ago, what matters is you have them down. throw in some things that you may have to do for school or work while you’re at it.

here’s an example! (left is before checking off, right is after)

as you can see, i added a note to the side because i got what i wanted and more abundantly! i had been manifesting a dog since i was a young child, and in 2021, i got 2!!!! (one is laying at my feet right now <3)

continue to do this daily, weekly, or whatever you have time for. i personally do this on notion and i try to add something new daily (im adding the heartstopper thing rn!!)

but yeah!! write everything u want down, and continue to add to it, just so u can see progress DOES happen and your work and effort DOES pay off!

affirming and persisting

this id the first way i learned to manifest, and the most self-explanatory.

you simply repeat what you want over and over until you get it! but not in the future tense, in the current or past tense.

ex; “i passed my maths final!”, “im so happy my boyfriend gave me those roses for valentine’s day, he’s so sweet!”, “i finished the essay for english like a week before it was due!” “i got the lead role in my play! im so excited!” etc.

now, the common factor between all of these is having a positive mindset about them. i cannot tell you HOW many times i manifested something would go well, and right before they happened, i got in a shitty mind space and wondered if it would ever happen.

but, nonetheless, i persisted through and i got what i wanted.

the pain have have been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18

persisting is basically pushing through. think about the time you didn’t think you would make it through an injury, a school year, a trial, yet you still walked through it — even if it was slow.

like when work days are long and you want to go home, but you can’t, so you persist.

i try to think of my manifestations as an ultimatum. it’s going to happen, and that’s final. the only thing you have to do to get it is stay conscious.

and staying conscious, walking through those days, is how you get to the end!

i use affirming and persisting with pretty much everything, which is why it was first.

2. listening to subs.

it’s that simple — listen to an audible subliminal that has the results you want over and over!! that’s all i do u guys. here’s my playlist if u want it (IF I DELETE IT CHECK MY PINNED POST!! I UPDATE IT OFTEN)

i often use @stilljuststardust’s subs, slade’s subs, enchanted workshops’ subs and i want it, i got it’s subs!

all of them are trusted and credible. i cannot promise you that all the subs in my playlist will work for you, as they are (sometimes) linked to my personal desires.

3. pinterest manifestation!!

i recommend having either a whole pinterest account or a board set aside for this way of manifestation.

you simply make boards (or sections) for things you want. i would say this is best for physical items, people, looks, makeup, etc. things that re physically tangible, rather than something like reality shifting (although i do have a reality shifting board! it has been working pretty well <3)

i also have one for my mindset, my religion, so on and so forth (link btw)

i think this is pretty self explanatory. just save picture of things you want and quotes/affirmations and DONE!

i also use this sub with it :p it’s worked WONDERSSS!

if you have any other questions i will be happy to answer them!! i love you all!! go manifest!!

[hariboz]

NEW YEARS KISS

“your best friend decides to volunteer when you complain about not having anyone to kiss on new year’s eve!”

pairing: bff!gyuvin x gn!reader

genre: fluff!!, friends to lovers!!

warnings: reader is somewhat of a romantic (?), reader is also said to be a little inexperienced in terms of dating!!, a little (implied?) jealousy from gyuvin, seunghan cameo (1. FREE HIM!! HE DID NOTHING!! 2. he was the first non-jebi guy i thought of <3), they’re cute <3, this is nawt my best work i literally wrote this on new year’s eve while with my family 😭

notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR MY POOKIES!! i hope all of you have an amazing, healthy and happy 2024 🥹🫶🏻 may all your goals come to fruition!! also, i’m very excited for a new year with my jebis, may they continue to thrive and be as happy as they can be <3 also, hope wakeone burns down xoxo MWAH LOVE U ALL <33 ALSO!! i picked gyuvin for this bc some knetz are pissing me off currently with their stupid hate for gyuvin, so i decided to write this bc i LOVE KIM GYUVIN!! IF YOU DONT MAY GOD STRIKE YOU DOWN

word count: 1.6k

you don’t mind being single, really. it’s not really the ‘being single’ part that makes you feel weird, but rather just…not getting to have the same experiences as your friends. always having to sit and nod along when they talk about a date they went on, or how they celebrated a holiday with their partner. it’s exhausting being surrounded by couples all the time. they’re all your friends and you’re happy for them, but when it comes to events like this, you really wish you’d have more single friends.

new year’s eve is supposed to be fun, filled with laughter and loud excitement for the coming year — it is all that, but it’s also you watching your friends huddle together once the countdown to midnight starts, sharing sweet nothings before celebrating the new year with a sickeningly sweet new years kiss.

all while you kind of just stand there, celebrating the arrival of yet another year on your own. for those few lips-locking seconds, at least. is it a little silly to feel left out? of course, but is it really that absurd to want to experience a new years kiss just like everyone else? well, you don’t think so. gyuvin, your best friend, sees things a little differently, though.

“it’s so stupid, i don’t get why you’re so hung up on it,” gyuvin huffs past his snacking on some chips, throwing you a sideways glance. “just think about it, most of them have a different new year’s kiss every year. does that seem like something you want?” you roll your eyes, snatching the bag of chips from his hands. “you don’t get it,” you stuff a handful of chips into your mouth, “it’s romantic. it’s like saying ‘i have no idea what the new year will bring, but at least i will always have you.’ you’re not romantic enough for this.”

gyuvin just gives you a skeptic look, turning his attention back to the drama playing on your tv. it’s silent for a while, both of you a little lost in your respective thoughts until gyuvin quietly speaks up, “does it really bother you? that you don’t have someone to….” he trails off, voice a little unsure. his voice is sincere and doesn’t have the teasing tone it had earlier so you’re a little caught off guard.

you clear your throat, answering in an equally small voice, “well…yeah, kinda? i don’t know. i just think it would be…nice, for a change, you know? i want to experience stuff like that too, instead of just always watching from the sidelines.” gyuvin nods, seemingly understanding where you’re coming from, and that was that. for now, at least.

you didn’t think much of that little one off conversation, neither of you bringing it up again in the weeks that followed. though, unbeknownst to you, that seemingly unimportant conversation kept knocking at the back of gyuvin’s mind every single day. he thought about it an embarrassing amount, really. he kept telling himself that it was because he thought you were being silly, and all those times he thought about being the one giving you your new year’s kiss were definitely nothing more than fleeting, stupid thoughts. nothing more.

which is why gyuvin is so conflicted when he walks through the door of your little friend group get together on new year’s eve, bags of snacks in hand, only to see you laughing with a guy he hasn’t seen before. there’s an unfamiliar feeling bubbling in his chest and he almost involuntarily thinks back to your conversation, to the fact that you really want to kiss someone once the clock strikes midnight — and it starts to mess with his head.

he’s quickly roped into a conversation with ricky and some of his other friends, though his eye seem to be glued to you instead of the people talking to him right in front of him; his eyes drifting back to you giggling along to whatever that strange guy was talking about every few minutes, the unsettled feeling in his chest spreading all over his body. “are you even listening?” gyuvin’s attention is ripped away from staring holes in that guys head when ricky addresses him directly, ricky’s hand on his shoulder bringing him back to reality.

“yeah, sorry.” the smile on gyuvin’s face is tight, ricky glancing to where you’re still speaking to the guy and it all makes sense to him. he sends gyuvin a sympathetic look and tries to keep up the conversation, though it’s clear gyuvin’s mind is entirely preoccupied.

when the calls for new snacks start, gyuvin immediately volunteers to filling the bowls back up in the kitchen, if only to avoid his eyes from drifting back to you and the guy — whose name is seunghan, he learned — and in turn dampening his mood even further. today is supposed to be fun, why is he moping around like this?

“what did the chips do to you? you’re practically glaring ar them,” gyuvin’s head whips around at your voice, the playful smile on your face lifting some of the heaviness in his chest when he sees you standing in the doorway.

“oh, hey.” gyuvin gives you a small smile and goes back to his snack duties while trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, “who’s the guy you’ve been talking to? you bring him along?”

shaking your head you reach over to steal a handful of cheese puffs gyuvin had just emptied into a bowl, “not me, but ahrin. his name is seunghan and she has her eye on him,” you mumble, “he’s funny and they both seem to like each other.” gyuvin nods, hand absentmindedly playing with his sleeves, “you think she’ll go for the new years kiss with him?” gyuvin asks, and you can tell he regrets the question as soon as he asked it.

you just shrug silently, the sudden mention of the kiss rendering you a little speechless. “ and you? you got anyone to kiss this year?” gyuvin says in an overly sarcastic tone, seemingly in an effort to loosen the tension a little. you snort at that, “ha ha, very funny. leave me and my romantic aspirations alone,” the lightheartedness in your voice makes gyuvin relax a little, and just when he’s about to speak, someone bangs against the kitchen door, demanding your attention.

“c’mon you two, we’re playing some games,” matthew calls before rushing back to the living room. you and gyuvin share a short glance before loading up on all the snacks and following suit, excited for the mess that is most definitely about to ensue.

two screaming matches, one round of (rigged, according to hao) just dance, three bowls of snacks and dozens of tears spilt through laughter later and the almost dreaded countdown to midnight is inching closer. the couples are slowly starting to separate from the group again, looking for an area that is less crowded and a little more romantic. your high mood is slowly starting to go down, the feeling of once again being the third wheel, in a way, accompanied by this off-putting feeling of loneliness in a room full of your friends bringing the self-doubt at the back of your mind to the forefront again.

gyuvin plops down next to you, stretching his long limbs with a groan, “god i hate sitting on the floor,” he looks around, the amount of couples in your friend group only now really hitting him, “damn, is that kiss really that important?” it was a rhetorical question, really, and he was speaking to himself more than anything, yet you turn to scowl at him.

you open your mouth to go on a rant about the lack of romance in gyuvin’s mindset when he suddenly turns to you, cheeks a little flushed but eyes filled with determination, “i’ll do it.”

you blink at him, “huh? do what?” gyuvin swallows, “kiss you. give you the new years kiss you want.” it takes a second for his words to register, before you splutter at him incredulously, “what— gyuvin why would we—“

“okay, time for the countdown! ten!” you hear from the other side of the room, and panic starts to fill gyuvin’s expression. “because i want to. i’ve been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it, and—“

“seven!”

“you said it was like saying that i have no idea what the new year will bring, but at least i will always have you, right?” his eyes search for yours, his pupils shaking and you nod, still a little stunned.

“four!”

“that’s exactly i want to tell you. so please—“

“three!”

“i want to be the one to give you your new years kiss. if you want—“

“two!”

and then, it happens. you grab his face and pull him close, hesitation for just a millisecond before your lips meet right as it reaches midnight. the fireworks outside colouring the sky feel almost pathetic in comparison to the burst of emotions exploding in your chest, it’s warm and fuzzy and just feels so right.

both of your faces are flushed bright red as your lips separate, but neither of you can keep from biting back the goofy smiles spreading on your faces. before you can even begin to think of something to say gyuvin leans back in, pressing another kiss to your lips.

and another. and another…and another.

you only separate for good when your giggles break through the kiss, gyuvin’s hands cupping your face, “i’d say that was a pretty good start into the new year, no?”

[stevie-petey]

Had an idea and wanted to pester you about it (I’m kidding, I hope I’m not actually pestering you). What if you were to write a cute snow day blurb for Stug? Set in between S3 and S4? I ask because it’s currently snowing where I’m at and just thought “dang, that’d be so cute.”

you could never pester me i loooove answering blurbs <33 now if i may pester you i changed the timeline to between seasons 2 and 3 because i couldnt resist the idea of pre-dating steve n bug playing in the snow together n being all shy n cutie ugh

enjoy !

"its snowing," steve leans your desk chair back, nearly tipping over completely as he peers out your window. "like. a lot."

theres a mound of assignments on your desk and you only spare a quick glance outside. "oh," your absent minded tone doesnt go unnoticed by steve. "thats nice."

he narrows his eyes. "i thought you loved snow."

"i do," this time more genuineness comes through your voice. you look outside again and ache when you see just how snow has fallen. "but..."

your head tilts down to the work scattered between you and steve. youre insanely behind on calculus assignments and steve has a lab report three weeks overdue and today is the first real day your injuries from demodogs and billy have healed enough to even attempt to understand what a derivative is.

jonathan is stuck at home taking care of will and promised you hed help you with the math as soon as he was able, but now, with all the snow that inevitably will block the roads, you know youre doomed.

steve sees the stress that tenses your spine and an idea pops into his head. he snatches the homework from you and is running out of your room.

"what the-?" but hes already gone, annoyingly fast when he wants to be.

you run after steve, having no other option, really, and find him and dustin rushing to put their coats on.

"shes here!" dustin screeches when he sees you. he shoves at steve, urging him to hurry up, and your mother watches fondly from the kitchen.

you push past your brother. "what is happening?"

steve zips up coat and winks at you, giving no response other than flinging the front door open and chasing dustin through the snow. theyre gone in a heartbeat, giggling like children as they fucking prance through the falling snow.

"id join them if i were you, y/n." your mom says with a slight chuckle. "steve told me to hide your homework until you were 'soaked in snowflakes'."

your jaw drops. "mom-"

"im sorry, sweet girl." she laughs at you now. "blame that handsome boy of yours and go play with your brother outside. itll be good to get some fresh air!"

"but-"

"wear a coat!"

and then your mother shuts her bedroom door, leaving you to watch steve tackle dustin into the snow as they shriek and wrestle in the slippery ground.

"my eye!" steve squeals in pain, rolling around, and dustin giggles menacingly. feeling your eyes on him, steve flings a distressed hand towards you. "y/n, help a guy out here, would ya?"

even though he cant see you, you still roll your eyes at steve. dustin echoes his own sentiments of wanting you to join. the boys plead with you over and over and youre weak to them.

sighing, you grab your heaviest coat. "if either one of you even thinks about tackling me, youre dead."

dustin salutes you. "yes, ma'am."

you help steve up. his hand is cold and his nose red and eyes shining and you cant help but giggle slightly at the sight of him. theres flecks of snow that line his brown hair and hes a delicate kind of pretty that rivals the spiral of snowflakes.

"saved me again, angel." he winks at you again, causing you to blush.

"shut up." you shove at his chest, avoiding his tender eyes. they reveal more to you than you know hes ready to admit.

steve laughs and dustin throws a snowball at your face and everything is warm and soft.

“COME HOME” BLURB MASTERLIST

if you’d like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

[interstellarrisa]

I manifested money two times today

a/n: hi everyone, ik i've been gone for 2 weeks but i'm back and with a success story and two mini ones lol. not the reason as to why i was gone but whatever :P btw this post is not proofread cuz im rlly tired

Decide

I needed new clothes since school is starting soon for me but we didn't really have enough money to go "back to school" shopping and so going shopping would've been kind of difficult but instead of getting sad and just accepting that story i decided to use my knowledge of the law of assumption.

It was late at night and I was tired and as I was falling asleep I thought "Why not use this moment to manifest some money?" When we fall asleep our brain is in a very open-minded state (dunno if that's the right thing to call it). It doesn't try to fight back or question suggestions it just kind of accepts them, and so I decided to manifest money. To be exact 200$ when converted.

Imagine it and accept it

As I laid there on my bed I kept on imagining how I had 200$. I would imagine my mom coming into my room and saying that she got 200$ or affirm that I had it. I even dared to get a bit bolder and start affirming that I would get more.

When any doubts would arise especially logical ones I would just go "Is logic really necessary?" and start questioning the logic. Like wdym "Where would you get that money from" or "It's impossible, there's no reason as to why I would just get money without any reason" I questioned the logic instead of making the logic question me.

Anyways, I just accepted that I had it and fell asleep. I did have a strange dream tho but nonetheless I fell asleep knowing I had it and that it was inevitable that I was going to wake up to the news of it.

Persist

Whenever I wake up I am in a kind of daze for like 10 minutes where I'm awake but my eyes are closed and my mind is really foggy, almost like I'm between the border of the waking world and the dream world (just say hypnogogia girl). I've always thought that this state would be good for manifesting but I've never done it.

When I woke up and was in this daze like state I decided to take advantage of it and do the same thing I did before I fell asleep, after that I just continued on with my day occasionally thinking about I should buy. I wasn't even worrying about the money I just knew that I had it.

That morning my mom had gone out to buy some groceries and when she came home she just told me that she had gotten 250$ and what was my reaction to that you may wonder, it was just a simple "cool". I didn't even realize that it had manifested because I already knew it would happen but like on a subconscious level, so I was just thinking that it was nice and not like "WOWOWOOWOWOW WATAHECK I JUST MANIFESTED 200$"

It was not until 3 hours had passed and I was in the bathroom washing my hands that I realized that it was ME who was the reason for the money, and even then I just gasped really quickly and calmed down. Maybe I'm just that type of person who calms down fast? Anyways, the title did say that I manifested money two times right?

Decide + Imagine it and accept it + Persist

After going shopping I was sad because buying things actually cost money!!! WDYM YOU'RE TAKING MY MONEY AFTER I JUST BOUGHT SOMETHING!!! I THOUGHT THE NUMBERS ONSCREEN WERE THERE JUST TO INTIMIDATE ME AND NOT THE AMOUNT YOU'RE TAKING FROM ME/j

As I was walking out the mall I was decided to change my mindset from that of a person who just spent a lot of money and is sad about it to a person who doesn't care because they know money goes round and round and they'll eventually get it back.

Essentially: poor person mindset → rich person mindset.

When I got home I talked to my dad and he was like "Blah blah blah... focus on your studies...blah blah blah...take care of yourself...blah blah blah I'm giving you 150$...blah blah blah...again focus on school..."

Again I only realized I just manifested it when I opened tumblr LMAO, and I guess my advice is stick with a mindset and know it'll happen, you don't need to affirm a thousand times or constantly think about not that doing those things don't work and will ruin your manifestation but relaxing is also nice I guess.

a/n: what a yapfest lol anyways the other two mini success were manifesting a toothbrush and changing the weather to fog, bye for now !!

divider by @/anitalenia

[mazikeenhyde]

Less than a Minute - Part 2

The reaction to this is not what i was expecting at all, for my first ever attempt at fan fiction i assumed maybe one or two may read it but i would end up deleting it and hiding back under my duvet! Yet my mind is blown by the love and reaction >.<

Part 2 is here! This is definitely gonna be a mini series, there's a lot more to come! Part 3 is in the works and will be out later this week.

For now...

-WARNING – 

A Poly!Judgment-Day fanfiction containing themes and mentions of DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, LONLINESS, PANIC ATTACKS, SOME SMUT, ANGST, SADNESS, ALCOHOL etc 

Overall, I’m just trying to make you all cry… again >.< 

READER X JUDGMENT DAY – POLY – Rhea, Damien, Finn, Dominik x READER- Written in  first person (Reader Female) 

Italic font - Memory/ Flashback

Less than a minute Part 2 

Dominik sat on the edge of the hotel bed; the cheap cotton blend bedsheets crinkled underneath his jeans as he struggled to stay still. With his eyes held tightly closed he ran his hands up and down his thighs, his knees bouncing up off the floor and his heels tapped nervously against the carpet. His breath hitched and his panic was starting to show. 

Taking in a sharp sudden breath he rose to his feet, one hand behind his head he paced the same steps in the room, he had begun to feel every emotion all at once and there was no one around to save him from himself.

Hands still shaking, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. The thumbprint passcode wouldn’t recognize his hand due to the sweaty palms, so it took a few attempts to type the pin number in correctly. 

“Co..Come on, come on, pl…pl..please” his words were distant and far apart, his voice was failing him. He held his phone up against his ear as he struggled to catch his breath. 

In that moment his heart skipped a beat, it ran cold, the air in the room felt like the temperature dropped to below zero. There it was, that noise. 

The bedside table played an all too familiar tune as it lit up with Y/N phone screen and Dom’s face turned pale, his fear quickly turned to frustration, then to anger. 

“FUCK” he threw his phone to the floor, only remembering Y/N had left hers behind. She was often the one he would turn to when his anxiety peaked. With all the changes coming their way in the world of wrestling Dominik has relied heavily on her support to keep his panic attacks at bay. It was increasingly showing how hard it was going to be to turn against the people he loved whole heartedly. Gratefully he had Finn by his side who was also being forced to turn, so Dominik didn’t feel quite so lost or alone in it all. 

With his hands still shaking Dominik reached across and grabbed Y/N phone from the side. The screen flashed up with his name and a picture of the two of them together with Rhea from the Christmas just gone. Both himself and Y/N with sweet little reindeer face painted noses and fluffy antlers whilst Rhea had been dressed as a sexy Mrs. Claus. 

The WWE had requested a few of the superstars to take part in a Christmas charity photoshoot. Damien and Rhea were dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus and Dom Dom, being the little submissive he was had been dressed as Rudolph. Y/N and Finn had joined them briefly in the photo studio in what they had said was support but Rhea was convinced it was for their own entertainment, and it hadn’t taken long for the two of them to be sent packing by the photography team thanks to the wolf whistles and giggling. 

When the photographer had finished Damien, Rhea and Dominik had returned to the Judgment Days clubhouse to find Y/N and Finn waiting for their arrival. Finn was dressed as an Elf with a sack of presents over his shoulder, while Y/N was in full matching attire to Dom, painted nose and all. 

“Ho Ho Ho” Finn laughed as they entered the room, sending a cheeky wink Damien’s way. 

“I think you’ll find…that’s my line Finn” Damien remarked chucking as he made his way over towards the pair of them. 

“Aye maybe, but I still need to check that you are on the Nice list before you get to have a rummage in my….sack” raising his eyebrows suggestively Finn bit his bottom lip. Damien now stood in front, towering over he wrapped his hand around Finn’s neck pushing him up against the wall. They paused a moment before Finn dropped the bag and laughed pulling Damien into a deep kiss. 

Y/N smirked at the two men as she made her way over to Rhea and Dom who were half distracted watching the boys make out session. 

“What about me Mrs. Claus, did I make it on the nice list?” Y/N whispered seductively, running her hand down Rheas arm. Dom mimicked Y/N movements to Rheas opposite arm as he leaned in to nuzzle at her neck. The goosebumps rising across her tattooed skin she took a sharp breath before glancing back at Y/N and pulling Dom away by the scruff of his mullet. 

“Naughty list more like, you two brats hold the record” she laughed and lent down to nuzzle into Y/N neck nipping at the skin. In that moment Y/N felt her entire body heat up in an instant, the knot in her stomach tightened as she failed to catch a breath. Smirking at her work Rhea pulled herself away and let Dom go whilst readjusting her outfit. “Now Dasher and Dancer, Smile for Mami” and pulling her phone out she snapped the photo. 

--------

The Rain had set in hard; it had washed away the puddles on roadsides flooding the sidewalks.  The clouds hung low engulfing the neighboring streets ahead as the storm began to fully draw in. The moon had disappeared, only on occasion would it shine through as lightening illuminated the silver linings of the cloud break.  Damien was driving at pace while Finn scanned the face of every person they flew past as best he could. Deep down inside though he knew, he didn’t need to see her face to recognize the love of their life, for whom had been missing for hours by now. 

“She must be freezing” Damien’s voice was soft, broken. “Her coat was still on the hook, how many times..” He gripped the steering wheel tighter in ager as his demeanor changed. “How many times, have I reminded her, to take her god damn coat when she goes out!” he yelled. He wasn’t really angry mind you, he was scared, and Finn knew that. Staring back out the window at the anonymous strangers rushing into taxis or sheltering under bus stops Finn closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself. He knew now wasn’t the time to break, he had always been the strong one, even if he didn’t feel it in that moment, he couldn’t let that show. 

The streetlamps were indeed lit, but offered very little sight into the surrounding alleyways. Rhea sat in the back seat of the car chewing at her thumbnail, blankly staring out the window her mind flew at a million miles a minute. Every thought, every fear, every question came to mind but was quickly pushed out by another. Y/N was fine she thought, she was happy when they left, in these last days she had been fine.

How had she not known there was something wrong with Bunny.

Unless she had known? 

Had she? 

Rhea stopped chewing her nail for a second, eyes widening slightly. It was as if her brain had rebooted and kicked into gear. 

“Less than a minute?” Rhea whispered under her breath, a sudden realization hitting before the car horn bought her back to reality as Damien slammed on the breaks sending her and Finn flying into the seatbelt lock.

“¡Absoluto Idiota! ¡Mira a donde vas!” Damien shouted slamming down on the car horn again. He gripped the steering wheel tightly as the car in fronts tyres screeched away throwing back the flooded road surface against their windscreen. 

Finn reached over to take Damien’s hand in his, loosening the death grip he had locked in. 

“Pull the car over love, lets regroup.” Finn offered kind words as Damien pulled into the layby shutting off the engine and throwing his head back in exhaustion. 

“Rhea?” Finn turned to face her in the back, visible tears fell down her face as she gripped the seatbelt locked in tightly across her chest, the anxiety she felt was more obvious than ever as her blank forward stare had fully locked in. 

“Rhea? You alright?” Finn asked again looking at her with deep concern, glancing over briefly at Damien who turned to face her as well. 

“Rhe?” Damien reached out to give her a gentle shake. 

“Less than a minute…” she spoke gently again, in a slightly louder but muffled whisper. 

In that moment Rhea’s eyes shot open wide as she scrambled for the seatbelt lock to unclip herself.  

“I KNOW WHERE SHE IS” Rhea’s voice shook, each word breathy and panicked as she scrambled herself out of the car throwing the door open and running off into the downpour. 

“RHEA!” Finn screamed as he stumbled out of the car whilst opening the door, but she was too far gone. 

They two men watched as her silhouette disappeared down the street, her dark attire blending in all too well with the night. 

Damien glanced over to the back seat where Rhea’s coat lay in the passenger footwell, he reached over and grabbed it as Finn climbed back into the car, dripping wet from his brief time in the rain. 

Holding up the jacket Damien shook his head, “These women and their coats…”. 

[gremlin-girly]

Kinktober Day 7

Title: The Perfect Jotunn Bride

Kink: Macrophilia

Pairing: Frost Giant! Loki x f!Asgardian!Reader,

Tags/ Warnings: SMUT, macrophilia, temperature play (Frost Giant skin), descriptions of violence (not toward reader), arranged/forced marriage, dubcon, mean!Loki (he should just be a warning anyway), knife play (brief), corset, struggling to breathe (bc of the corset), nipple/breast play, thigh riding, teasing, biting/marking, pet names (see below author's note), squirting, vaginal fingering

No beta - and we're ignoring that I posted this 1 minute past midnight xoxo

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Your Husband, the Frost Giant Prince Loki, has come back from battle and expects to see his bride.

As always I do not give permission for my work to be reposted, translated or copied. My warnings are non-exhaustive (even though I do try to capture everything) but please read at your own risk. I am not responsible for your content consumption.

I hope you enjoy; likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

A/N: I had to edit this fic more than once to cut and splice things from it. I expect I'll have a part 2 (and 3) soon... I don't even wanna talk about how many words this was YEESH. I gotta learn to make a one shot and not stay up to early hours with a 6k storyline. Again, this was supposed to be LONGER 💀

I found this website here that helped with Old Norse translations (but they may be wrong!) I'll link it once I get the chance - Love, Grem x

smăr einn = little one

Part 2

Prev | Next | Masterlist

You had just barely managed to avoid the advances of your husband for the last few weeks. Too busy with the politics between realms to fully focus on you; and you were grateful for it. Your husband was ruthless, cruel and cold. That last adjective quote literally. The prince of Jotunheim was not to be trifled with; as your brother and father had found out rather perilously. Your father had sought to trick Loki and whilst his back was figuratively turned, your brother  was sent to kill him.  

Loki returned your brother’s mangled corpse back to your home, with a letter promising war unless your father’s prized possession – you – was given as penalty. Marriage with the prince of Jotunheim meant two realms were unified, which was far more prosperous  than war.  However, that meant being ripped away from your home, your family, your friends, your fiancé and everything you had ever known and being thrust into the cold, unforgiving hands of a barbaric frost giant.  You had begged, cried and pleaded with your father but nothing had changed his mind. It was set in stone.

Your new husband took joy in tormenting you on your wedding say, reminding you time and time again that you were lucky to be a negotiation prize rather than one of his spoils of war. The thought had made you shudder with terror and, thankfully, his attentions were lured away to another realm, another battle, another day spent far away from you.

You quickly learned that many of the female frost giants were unimpressed with you as a tiny little thing in comparison to their race as a whole. Your body almost entirely unequipped for Jotunheim weather. Your ladies-in-waiting were no different.  They had spoken in their native tongue in front of you, clearly, discussing you and how you probably didnt meet their standards nor their prince’s. You’d stayed quiet and fiddled with your hands, unsure of how to approach them or speak to them. Everything you knew about frost giants was from your culture; which labelled them as blood-thirsty barbarians. Though, the ice fortress you resided in was immaculate and strictly designed – different from your home in Asgard yet no less civilised.  That was a good starting point.

over the course of the week’s your husband’s absence, you focused on befriending your ladies-in-waiting. You asked about their culture, their lives and the language they spoke. If you were going to be here until the end of your days, you may as well know what is being said behind your back and, well, to your face.

You picked up words quickly, studying in the silence of the enormous bed chamber. You had borrowed a few children’s books from the library, and one or two on the flora and fauna of Jotunheim, though you could only appreciate the pictures thus far.

The bed chamber was far too big   for you, perfect size for your husband, you supposed. Large wooden bookcases adorned the far wall, and there was a small (well small for a giant) fireplace adorned with a fur rug from a creature you couldn’t name, but it was soft. The bed itself was so huge you practically drowned in the covers. It was cosy but you agreed with yourself it was probably cosy because your husband was not there with you.

Yet.

One morning, after waking up  relatively late, your ladies-in-waiting were busying about the bedroom.  

“What’s going on?” you ask nervously, already anticipating the answer.

Gertrud, the more social of the two giantess’, gave you a smile as she paused her dusting of the bookshelf. “Prince Loki is returning from battle today.”

You suppress a shiver and try to smile, but you’re not confident you look entirely happy. “Wonderful.”

Gertrud continues regardless, her face contorting to an excited, doe eyed look.  “He’s sent you a gift ahead of his arrival, my lady.”

“Oh,” you say, trying to sound chipper. In the very short time you had spent in Jotunheim, Loki had only ever taunted you, albeit briefly. A gift was... new. And you didn’t like it one bit.  “How thoughtful of him.”

“He left instruction for you to wear it on his return.” Gertrud says wistfully, as if it’s the most romantic thing she could dream of.

“Wear?” You speak before you can process what’s been said, the shock in your tone evident. Your mouth goes dry and heat burns its way to your cheeks. You weren’t stupid. Wearing something for his return only meant one thing. Your stomach becomes a pit and you have to scream at yourself internally to stop from swaying.

Gertrud mistakes the your shock and flushed face as a sign of excitement, not of worry and fear.  “I must say the garment – whatever it is – is not from Jotunheim. Your husband  must have acquired it for you, my lady.” Gertrud pauses to smile over at you. “I think our prince is quite taken with his bride.”

You flush a deeper shade of pink and clear your throat. “So it would seem.” You murmur carefully. “Where is the garment? What is it?”

Gertrud places the duster down and heads to a dresser on the otherside of the room, picking up a package and handing it over to you. You delicately take the package from her, shivering at the coolness of her skin, and begin to unwrap it. To your surprise, and utter embarrassment, it’s a corset with matching underwear. Gertrud’s eyebrows raise and she gives you a knowing smirk. You bury your face in your hands.

“I do not need to know what that thing is to know it’s intent,” She says smugly. “As I said, our prince is taken with his bride.”

You peek out from your fingers, eyeing the corset.  It’s blue – frost giant blue to be exact – with white lace detail across the bust and back, and white ribbon zigzagging up the back. If this was your husband’s idea of a sick joke, it worked. You still couldn’t decide if you were going to vomit from nervousness.

Gertrud pats your shoulder gently, again misreading your embarassment as bashfulness.

“I will run your bath, my lady. I do not know how to help you into that... thing.” She eyed the corset suspiciously. “But I will ensure that you are ready for your husband’s return.”

You only nod, anxiety twisting your stomach into knots. You should have known this would be inevitable.

You pace fretfully around the large bedroom. You’d wrapped yourself in a robe, hiding your corset and matching underwear, feeling too exposed even for the man who was your husband. You’d attempted to study again, books and notes strewn across the fur rug in front of the crackling fireplace, but the nervousness of your first night with your husband had you too worried to think.

You’d shooed Gertrud away as quickly as you could, after being bathed in the nicest oils and scents imaginable, softening your skin to butter. You’d fiddled with your corset, tightening it possibly too tight, and after one look in the mirror making heat rise where it definitely shouldn’t you’d throat on your robe.

You’d been pacing for an hour, or thereabouts. Word of Loki’s return to Jotunheim had spread like wildfire  within the fortress, yet  he still hadn’t come to see you. Any other time you would have been grateful but you knew that he was tormenting you; keeping you on edge until he decided to visit. You even contemplated running and hiding but you knew the risk; Loki had whispered as much to you at your wedding banquet, reminding you that if you ran away all out war would ensue. Starting with your father’s head on a spike.  You also knew that hiding would only deny the inevitable; you would eventually have to share a bed with your husband and as a wife, you were expected to bear his children. You shuddered again.

The door to the chambers opened. Your head whipped up, hands clutching at your robe tightly without thought, as you watched Loki enter.  He towered above you, easily twelve feet high maybe more, but he must have came from one of the bathrooms because his blue skin trickled with water droplets from his long raven’s wing hair, and he held a towel around his waist.  You averted your gaze to the fire, face flushing. Despite it all, he was still attractive.

Loki’s chuckle echoes throughout the chamber and the door shuts behind him.

“What? No welcome for your husband?”  He sneers. You don’t have to look to know his lips are curled into that cruel smile you’ve grown accustomed to. “And I see you’re not wearing your gift.”

You look over at him as he approaches, too scared to move. “I-I am.” You  murmur, regretting the words as they leave your mouth.

Loki sits on the rug in front of you, on leg up the other flush against the rug, the towel leaving little to the imagination. His red eyes stay on you as he smirks, eyebrows rising in surprise.

“Well,” He gestures at your robe. “Let your husband see.”

Your face burns, your palms are sweaty against your robe, and you pause. You look at your feet, clearing your throat.

“a-aren’t you going to tell me about your battle?” your attempt for stalling is dismissed immediately.

“Later. Show me. Before I remove it for you.”

You nod quickly and with a shaky breath, you untie your robe and let the garment pool at your feet. You would attempt to cover yourself but you aren’t even naked, which somehow makes it worse as you feel Loki’s crimson eyes rake over you.  Your chest his flushed and heaves  in the corset, ribbon straining with each breath. Your breasts look like they might spill over at any given moment and   You feel a little light headed from the entire situation. 

“Come closer, wife.” Loki curls a finger at you and you take a few tentative steps closer until you’re stood between his knees, still staring at your feet. His finger tilts your chin up to look at him. The coolness of his finger makes you shiver but when you meet his eyes, there’s a softness you don’t expect to see. “You look beautiful.”

You don’t quite gasp, but your mouth makes a small ‘o’ in shock. You hadn’t expected something so sincere, let alone nice and it makes heat surge between your thighs.

“Thank you, Loki.” You say softly. Loki shifts his legs, eyes not leaving yours as his lips twitch upwards into a smirk. His gaze flits behind you to your notes and his smirk widens into a grin.

“Ah, my wife has been busy whilst I’ve been gone.” He comments, gaze flicking back to you.  “Come into my arms and tell me what you’re working on, smár einn.”

The foreign words tickle at your memory but you can only recognise the word one. You take another few steps forward, squeaking with surprise when Loki’s cold forearm  wraps around your waist, guiding you to straddle a large, muscular thigh. The icyness of his skin against the warmth between your thighs makes you audibly gasp, and Loki chuckles.  

“Happy I’m home?” He teases, your back meeting his torso as he cages you in around his thigh. Wisps of his hair tickle at your shoulders, and a cool kiss is placed at your nape makes you startle. “Because I’m happy to be back. I thought you wouldn’t wear this for me.”

Your blushing isn’t missed by Loki nor is the throb of your cunt on his thigh. When you don’t answer, Loki’s nose runs along your nape, making you shiver again. You’re breathing harder, your breasts bobbing with each breath, as you try to get as much air into your lungs as possible. You feel like you’re suffocating, even though Loki’s grip loose on your waist.

Loki doesn’t seem to notice, or perhaps he doesn’t care, he’s too busy being smug about your excitement for him, and continues to tease you about your corset; how you look like the perfect Jotun bride now. You mumble thanks at his teases, trying not to look at him and trying not to think of anything, but Loki start to trail icy kisses up your neck that burn your skin in their wake. You mewl quietly and shift your legs causing more friction against your cunt which in turn makes you squeeze your thighs around his gigantic thigh and you notice that the same raised lines on the tough blue skin of his arms and face are on his legs too. Loki nips gently at you shoulder, eliciting a strangled yelp from you.

“That’s it, warm me up, smăr einn.” He taunts, licking the skin he’d bitten with a luke-warm tongue. “Rutting against me like a bitch in heat, no instruction needed.”

Shame floods you at his taunt but so does a throb of excitement. Loki kisses at your neck a little more hungrily in response, earning another few short gasps from you.

“Go on,” He urges in a low, mocking tone. “You want to – I can feel that you want to.”

You whimper pathetically, rolling your hips forward for more friction. Your lip quivers and you bit down – hard – you’ll be dammed if you let him think he wins by seeing you cry. But your giant husband only sneers down at you. Your clit brushes against one of the raised ridges of his skin; electricity crashing through you as you gasp loudly, falling forward onto your palms. Your nails dig into his tough skin when you hear him chuckle, face flushing with anger as you glare in his direction. Loki only mocks you further, holding a hand up in faux-surrender.

“I’m sorry, wife.” He says smugly, watching your reaction. “Please, continue fucking yourself on my thigh.”

You fluster again, but the light-headedness you felt earlier returns. This time, though, instead of struggling to breathe you feel faint and you sway and swoon atop Loki’s thigh. Loki raises an eyebrow, vexed at your actions, before realising that you aren’t faking. Something akin to concern crosses his face and he gets to his feet, holding you close as he takes you to his large bed.

He places you down somewhat gently, your breathing laboured, the constriction from the corset aching at your ribs. You can’t seem to get enough air into your lungs at they scream at your for it. When you look at your husband you wonder briefly if he’ll leave you to die like this and when he pulls a knife from his bedside table, you think he will be the one to take your life instead. The blade is cold against the heat of your skin. Loki doesn’t rush. He trails the tip of the blade down your sternum, between your breasts, to the lacy frill of your corset.

“I can remove this if you so wish,” he says coolly, pressing the blade into your skin, but not hard enough to draw blood. “But I need to hear you beg.”

You want to kick him for the heat that pools between your legs. He knows you’re struggling to breathe with this God forsaken corset on and somehow he manages to find a way to please himself.

“Please.” You huff, but Loki clicks his tongue.

“No, no.” He chides. “Properly.”

His eyes meet yours, and you can feel the challenge emanating from them. You grit your teeth and take a small breath, trying to avoid crushing your ribs. In a small voice you beg him in the way he’s requested.

“Please, husband.” You mumble. “Please, help me.”

The ripping of the ribbons are swift. Your beautiful but bone-crushingly tight corset falls away and you inhale a deep breath that transforms into a gasp when Loki’s mouth finds your nipples and sucks them almost lovingly. Your hands root into his thick black hair, mind drawing a blank, as a cold hand tweaks the nipple he isn’t paying attention to with his mouth. You couldn’t push him away even if you wanted to, not with a giant’s strength. However at this moment in time, you didn’t want him far from you.

Your gasps and moans fill the chamber and Loki smirks up at you from where he’s latched to your breast. Peppering kisses to every inch of skin he can manage, Loki finally finds a supple piece of skin above your left breast that he deems the perfect space for a mark. A mark to show the world that you are his. Only his.

He bites down onto the skin, feeling the vessels burst between his teeth and growls at you when you tug at his hair with a pained yell. You writhe beneath him as he sucks and kisses the spot he marked, the gesture is almost sweet, loving, but you’re too busy feeling too turned on to care. His hands large hands move down to remove what’s left of your underwear, a long, cool finger teasing at your folds.

“Loki,” you say his name with no air left in your lungs, your body trembling under his touch. You’re no longer fighting the desire you feel, which stirs something within Loki’s icy chest. He looks down at you, head tilted faux-curiously, unable to resist teasing you.

“That’s the first time you’ve used my name.” He comments, watching your face contort in pleasure as his index finger breaches your dripping core. “I believe you deserve a reward for being such a good wife.”

His digit pumps you at a vicious pace that, after the assault on your sensitive breasts, sends you careening over the edge of ecstasy quickly. You coat his finger with your cum, chanting his name desperately, strangling his finger with your pussy as he helps you ride out your high. Your legs twitch as you watch him with half lidded gaze as he remove his finger from you with a smirk. He towers over you and before you can say a word, he’s peppering you with soft, cold kisses.

“My smăr einn,” he says softly. “You did well tonight. I look forward to seeing what tomorrow will bring.”

You don’t think about what he could mean, your brain is too foggy and you feel too wonderful to want to dampen the wonderful elation you’re feeling; something you haven’t felt in weeks. You don’t even complain when Loki curls over you, allowing him to wrap himself around you under the sheets of your bed. Nor do you move away when Loki kisses your head and wishes you goodnight; something he’s never done before.

As you drift to sleep, anxiety of the day and the high provided by your orgasm taking its toll, you wonder if maybe your relationship with Loki could be better than you had expected.