#may be based off of rl lol

[userlaylivia]

JUST ONE WEEK UNTIL ALL AMERICAN RETURNS!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! and I know things may not be perfect with spelivia or jordayla but I'm still excited it's been 10 months since s5!!!! I'll be changing my url to something aa related this week and I'll be posting about it when I do and I tagged people even ones who don't watch the show lol but yes I'm so excited!! I'm on S4 in my rewatch I'm trying to get through everything because I forgot some things but yes it's almost back ahhhhh

[shebadfuckk]

do you have a bf? Or a daddy? Do you want one!?

My relationship status is pretty complicated.

I don’t have a daddy.

Not sure if I want one because most of this is just fantasy to me. It may be a fantasy I can’t go weeks without thinking about, but a fantasy nonetheless.

I’ve never done any of these things in person and based off my trauma I’m unsure how my body would handle it. + don’t see any man actually being patient enough with me to explore that without pressuring me to speed through my comfort zones just to please them.

I’m super dark and fucked up but I only get off to that stuff when I’m alone and safe. Like I said , not sure how my body would react with rl potential threat since I’ve been strangled half to death and shot at by my bf irl before

Regular sex sometimes makes me wanna kms soooo lol idk

Only one way to find out

[blueiight]

I think most VC fans agree with Anne's take on Lestat though, they see him as faultless which the narrative validates cause no one ever challenges his version of events, like we are all just supposed to assume it was Louis who lied and nothing else, that's why they're all up in arms about what happened in the show cause "he would never do that". Hell even with the show some of them think he didn't deserve the murder and fully blame Claudia for causing the rift.

yea, its tricky cuz no one not the meta narrative or in universe actually challenges lestat when it comes to his response to louis’s interview, but id say characters in tvc absolutely challenge lestat’s character [his disposition, ways of thinking, actions& shit] & get on his ass heavy. so i feel like that implicitly should put his perspective in question the same as any other character’s [at least it did for me] but ur rite in that the vc fanbase esp the OGs do fall in line w rice’s own opinions. it certainly didnt help that shed get on ppl’s asses for writing fic, disagreeing with her, had a wide variety of contradictory, differing opinions on her own work& ppls interpretation of the text that didnt agree perfectly w/ however she felt at the time.. yk the whole interrogating the text from the wrong perspective essay on amazon reviews lol. yet certainly we are all bonded in discussing an adaptation of her literary canon which says sum yk. i think expecting a visual medium to perfectly adapt a book line by line is impossible if not borderline ignorance, but an excellent adaptation will show what made the source a good, veritable commentary on humanity. i dont think ppl should fly into deranged clear the searches campaigns when amc does use the merits of rice’s work & interrogates lestat’s crueler ways more than his cruel actions that was glossed over in the source [bc rice had diff intentions/views on it]. i think the nature of visual adaptations done decades after the source mean as viewers, we are already exposed to multiple threads from tvc (tvl, tva, allusions to the mayfair family, the talamasca, the whole impending vampire apocalypse which may or may not be a red herring this time, claudia’s diary, etc) that show this is not only louis’s interview, but a question on the fruit of memory itself. what is recollection to an immortal creature but a drop in the ocean? what does it mean to be immortal, if not living the same live over. and over. and over. again? anyways likeeee tbf at least anne rice had an excuse for why she was so crazy about lestat, he was her muse & based off the man she stayed with all her life. honestly if i made a trio based off me, my old work& our abortion and it blew up like this id delete my presence from everyone’s minds lol. but. them fans dont have an excuse cuz thats not what lestat means to them. ofc these books & lestat’s chara may have been pivotal in their coming of age but i also think as now adults, they should accept w the infamy of tvc & its adaptations mean varying ppl w different frames of reference will have different takes on this. yea, as kids we cant articulate an understanding of dv and intimidation tactics , but as adults u should be able to re evaluate fictional dynamics & have mature discourse w/o flashing out on ppl or going on clear the searches campaigns. i guess the existence of rl martyrs for these fictional vampires answer the question ppl had yesterday on antoinette too? lol

[wisteriasakana]

This month I've been focusing on Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf, especially since the demo is in the pipeline. And so...

Soe does devlog strikes back - The return of a completely random series of devlog.

As already mentioned, the first part of May was explosive to say the least. Apart from the RL and my computer going argh, I had the idea of editing my itch.io profile and... Maybe I put too many links, because for a few days it was kept in custody to probably verify I wasn't a bot or a spammer. *lol!* Now everything is fine and my account is beautiful - Empty, sure, but beautiful!

Talking about the game. To my great and pleasant surprise, I found more than one kind person willing to betatest the English version. I've already received some very useful feedback! There are some small tweaks to do before releasing the demo. For example, the menu.

This is the menu I planned to keep for the game. However, it was pointed out to me that the color is too bright and that the RPG Maker base menu, in a game without combat, is very dispersive. So I fixed it!

This is the new version of the menu. Straightforward and essential! (It’s mjshi’s Non-Combat Menu, if anyone is interested-)

Thinking back to the feedback, I realized that the very first part of the game might not give a very clear idea of where the story is going. Probably because I didn't plan to make a demo. I had already taken into account that the demo would be 75% walking simulator and 15% gameplay but, story-wise, the pacing had an impact that I hadn't anticipated. I'll have to be more careful, gaming writing is different from novel writing! (BTW, a funny (?) detail is that I think the full version of the game has a decent balance between dialogue and gameplay-)

And, speaking of the full version, as I already said in the last post, I finally found a (I hope) good idea for the last part before the endings. Keep it simple, simple things are often the most effective! I've already programmed it, I just have to... Yes, write the dialogue. BUT, I still went ahead with other cutscenes. I'm not quite completely just absolutely totally stuck with writing!

One thing that was holding me back a bit about this story is that I thought of it in 2016. I don't remember if I ever said it (If yes, whatever, let's dust off the origins!), but Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf started out in 2016 as a short story. I decided to rework it as an RPG Maker game because I wanted to develop something short. Well... Short I guess it's short, it's my timing that's curious. *Look at Candy Apple* However, that's a seven year old story now. I've changed, I write differently, now I would do it differently. Maybe that's what stopped me so- No, that's not true, because I thought of Candy Apple seven months ago and I procrastinate it too. *lol*

I'm not going to get stuck in an eternal loop of perfectionism. We grow, we change, if you are slow like me you have to accept that you will have to work on something created by your past self. Just don't fossilize! Besides, this is my first game, this poor fellow has to suffer all my gameplay and writing experiments in this new medium. I really hope I can get through this block and be able to give Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf the ending(s) it deserves and be able to show them to others as well.

Yes, okay, so when will the demo be out?

As already said, I won't give a precise date for the moment. I have yet to receive feedback from other betatesters, so answering times and any changes to be made must be taken into account. My idea is the first week of June but, I repeat, it's just an idea.

Happy MerMay, that has nothing to do with all of this but it's one of the virtual anniversaries that I love most, and good luck with your projects!

[rewordthis]

Oooh! Thank for your kind words, friend but I’m just a little human and I may have not the most correct takes on the story but I sure try to have an overall view and I most definitely don’t think I’m this off the mark.

Honestly speaking, I wanted to reply as soon as I saw your reblog but I have so much to say that I confused myself. lol

First of all, Trigun 98 is the first thing I watched and then Trigun Stampede and I know just what wikipedia has to offer for the big spoilers (mad about it, too btw) of the manga—so my knowledge is limited to that. Having mentioned that, each version is a completely different thing in my mind and consider each canon in only its respective version.

Now, I had wanted to do a review/analysis for each anime separately ever since I finished watching them both (September-November ‘24) but unfortunately, rl is being a bitch (excuse my French) so I never really got around to doing that. Anyway, I am only going to talk about the 98 anime twins’ character focal points, because this is the topic of the post.

Before that though, let me say this, what these fans agreed on—that maiming Knives in a direct analogy to removing a spider’s legs—basically means to torture and eventually do drive him to madness (even worse with how unstable he already is) and finally to death because a spider without its legs it’s no longer a predator and being unable to feed and execute the most basic of its needs aka to move and knit webs it will just die. So no point in Vash taking him back at this point, his IQ is too hight to act this stupid. Simple as that.

(Rest is under the cut because… long talk is LONG. 😬)

So let’s talk about Vash: First of all, from the very first episodes we are introduced to Vash, we hear Rem telling him that he is thinking like an old man; he is too skeptical, too careful and generally he tends to think and act a lot like an old man, possibly without curiosity or spontaneity (and even more setting him apart from Knives,who in retrospect may act a lot more like a kid). This is important, because it sets the base for Vash’s real character. Also, both twins are of an absurd IQ.

Next thing we see, is Vash acting like a loon. He is all over the place, acting funny/stupid. This carefree character is his persona. Fake acre to acre. This façade has very few, tiny holes though, something we see in bits and instances throughout the series, even more so when he’s really dropping the façade if his opponent has gone beyond just being dangerous but rather uncontrollable.

Vash is calculating and just as capable of being manipulative like Knives, he just won’t do it unless it’s absolutely necessary. He actively prefers being misleading and avoidant, just so he can move freely until he achieves his goal, to find and take “revenge” on Knives. But he also has kept Rem’s teachings as a means to keeping her close to him—out of love and reverence.

What Rem represents for Vash in this anime particularly, is both the ideal of a mother/lover and humanity’s potential. She is literally his God and connection to humanity, so her word is The Word. ��The future is a blank ticket” and “everybody deserves a chance to have a tomorrow” and “no one but God has the right to choose who lives or dies—every life is important”. These are pretty straightforward and good messages—in theory—that Vash has taken to an extreme to preserve since he meddles even in things he’s got no business in, especially about the every life matters.

He is not just doing that for Rem, though. His main goal from the moment we see him (it is the afterglow of the July Incident), is Knives. He wants to save as many people as he can (and essentially atone for both the Great Fall & July) until he finds Knives. What we also find out halfway, is that he has absolutely no recollection of July and as he says “how he got here”. Which is giving us another perspective of his character as well; he was wandering alone after the incident not knowing how the angel arm worked or that he had nearly (possibly? who lives after being torn in half?) killed Knives. His anger about the fall was still what he presumably, remembers clearly and a vague sense of responsibility he most probably shoulders for the destruction of July—but July should only be a vague feeling for him and not as driving as the fall. And let’s not forget that while the twins wandered the desert, he did pick up that rock, ok? He just chose not to do it: because every life matters and… well, even as a genocidal sociopath, Knives is still his only brother. Also, Vash thrives in company.

Here, I want to point out that Vash in the anime uses mainly “ore” when referring to himself as an adult. This is a fairly rude way for men to refer to themselves and it shows nonchalance and generally being tough. But he also changes to a more meek/cute “boku” depending on the situation and how he wants to address politeness (either fake or heartfelt—the only distinction is the scene for this) to the person he speaks to. On the other hand, Knives uses “boku” throughout the entire anime. And honestly? I was fairly surprised by this. I really like these kind of characters because they are using politeness in a way that sets them apart from others, JJK’s Gojo also refers to himself with “boku”, btw. A kid usually uses “boku” during elementary and an adult when speaking with someone older or of a higher status. An adult that uses it all the time though, does it either do be more approachable (cute) or because he really sees himself as more gentle (meek). This ties back to Knives seeing himself in the butterflies and the plants in the spaceship’s garden. He is shown (from the little we see of him) aside from being manipulative and cold-blooded, as a rather fearful child so it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he also feels fragile. Both he and Vash got regularly beaten, after all—to him, they are the butterflies. Also, when he fights with Vash over killing the spider, we have a moment of the twins freezing while looking at each other. That specific moment is a revelation to Knives for two things: a) Vash is far more stubborn than him thus potentially more dangerous (maybe to even himself) and b) he can not reason with him. This moment literally shows us Knives being scared of Vash.

Now, remember when I said that Vash held Rem as God; his sense of obedience and faith is shaken after he realises his own destructive power during the Fifth Moon, then Wolfwood died because of his (Rem’s) ideals and even more when he is finally killing someone himself, Legato. For the first time (as far as we can see), Vash experiences a detachment from his consciousness, as he very literally loses his cool and then realises how cruel and lethal he can be just like how Knives had said. This is the beginning of his unraveling, the loss of his faith in himself—he is not as innocent as he wanted to believe. Then, he lost a precious connection—a friend— because he wanted him to believe in Rem’s word, too and finally, committed a grave sin and he can only think of retribution by dying, to “go where Rem is”. This moment is heartbreaking, because after stubbornly living 130 years and condemning suicide since he is no God to take a life (not even his own), he’s finally so broken to seek death and Meryl is first seat spectator to his undoing. He literally undergoes a death of his ego in this moment, and tastefully so, if I may say.

Next thing is finally his face off with Knives. At this point I’m pretty sure that Vash is prepared for any outcome in this fight. Their fight is so intense because they both know each other much too well and are equals on both cunning and physicality. This is actually a fight that can only be settled eirher by a hair’s breadth of a difference in their strength or by luck and… Vash is lucky af. The second he grasps the punisher, Vash knows that he can win and thus to also have the chance to save Knives. It’s why he renders him immobile (and I don’t know how to scream that more! he doesn’t maim him! he renders him IMMOBILE! much like you pick a cat from the scruff!) so he can put an end to the fight—so he can be the winner. I don’t know how obvious this is, but throughout the anime, every opponent Vash won against, the fight was considered conclusive and they would all submit. Not one fight was restarted! So now we have: a) Vash finishing the dispute with Knives in an irrefutable way—Knives actually expects him to finish him as he lies bleeding. b) Every conclusive victory is permanent (within the anime at least). c) Knives will not go against Vash again because he is lowkey scared of him and now he is also proven “stronger”(or more stubborn, but that’s just me, I think). d) Knives will be forced to live in close proximity with humans for as long as he recuperates and Vash is going to be on his ass (prooobably) until they die.

And Vash. Vash after deciding that he will give Knives a new day to use his “blank ticket” is throwing away his coat because: a) he is no longer a messenger of Rem’s Word. He has killed and he is unfit to continue wearing Her colour. b) His quest is over. He has finally stoped Knives from wiping humanity out and has him in his care (or captivity, but he ain’t that cruel) and also the girls’ (Knives will be begging to be killed, trust me). c) He is also going to have new people to dedicate himself than Rem, which is Meryl, Milly and Knives. d) He is no more The Stampede, he has a family now that he reunited with Knives and he is going to become as domestic as possible and keep an eye on Knives. Sort of how a parent has their child on a “leash” kind of thing. NO MAIMING! NO! NOT EVEN A MENTION OF THAT THING!!! e) And eventually, since everything he has been through and all his quests and all his (self-inflicted) obligations (see Rem here) have come to an end, he is going to relax with jumping into other people’s arguments. I mean… he will bother to reconcile those around him—just look at him, he’s not stopping that shit any day soon—but he just won’t go around the planet for this. He can do that for his neighbours in the town he lives. f) He now knows how difficult it is to uphold Rem’s ideals for humans—and they do try to be kind and good, but after breaking down himself he understands the strides humans need to make. He is no longer that uptight about it. And finally f) He is freed from his persona. His family knows him, his brother and the girls know who he is and what he is capable of (Knives a little more that the girls, but still) and so there is no need for him to be The Stampede, anymore. Dude needs some much deserved rest and peace. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

So because of all these reasons above, I am fairly sure that going back to treating Knives like how he used to while maintaining in the back of his mind of what they both are capable, he is going to have their guns destroyed—aren't they already? Or did he also tossed them right there... I don’t remember—I should rewatch the anime and make more on-point observations because writing so far by memory, I hope I’m not forgetting anything… Oops.

He will also make Knives participate in the everyday life, help with chores etc. Fairly sure that he will be a grumpy cat about it but will still do it—not because he owes Vash but because he literally stands there and smiles creepily at him until he does what he’s supposed to do.

And for crying out loud, I hope he finally remembered what Rem told him to do with Knives, because I’m 100% sure the woman told him to stay with him and take care of him and not to be a stubborn shit to him; I believe then he will be way more understanding of Knives and this will have the most impact on that feral stray, too. Btw.

Not sure if I make sense, but like… these are some of the most basic points that I can recall off the top of my head and that is without delving too much into specifics and details in the depictions and the narration of the scenes but rather of the anime in its entirety.

Also, super sorry for the monster-length of this analysis, I tried to keep it short but... 🫣🫠

Oh, if you have anything to add or think differently about, please do tell me! Me wants food! 😌

The bad takes in this fandom are making me insane…

Sooo… critical question: When did we go from this…

to this?

[little-ideas]

Kitten Adoption

I kept accidentally making this Mankai-centric instead of SakyoIzu focused OTL

You, Anon, have found my weakness. I love cats owo talk to me any day about cats please omg they’re so wonderful ❤❤❤

1001% Izumi’s fault

She brings it up in passing a lot over the years but never really moves forward with it in part because she knows convincing Sakyo would be hard, and in part because things can get intense around the theater and sometimes they get so wrapped up in work the others have to look out for them

When you can barely hold yourself together, can you really look after a pet? It’s a debate she struggles with even though she knows the other members would help look after the pet when needed

Sakyo isn’t stupid and knows Izumi really wants a cat and, it takes a while, but he starts to think a cat really wouldn’t be too bad

The theater isn’t struggling to stay afloat anymore, so they really could afford to take care of a cat or two

And then he sees Izumi interacting with the neighborhood cats, gentle, loving, voice doing that high-pitched sweet-talking thing people do to talk to their pets, and he’s a goner

Literally that night when it’s just the two of them chilling in silence, Sakyo just states, “Let’s get a cat.”

Izumi thinks he’s joking at first, and it’s so random, but Sakyo has been dwelling on it all evening, wondering what to say, replaying the image of Izumi in his mind over and over again and this man is simply smitten

When she realizes he’s serious, Izumi is over the moon. Extra giddy, super happy, nothing can seem to phase her and Sakyo wonders why they didn’t do this earlier

Meanwhile the rest of the dorms wonder what the fuck is happening and fear for their stomachs as Izumi insists on making curry for all three meals until they adopt the kitten

Do they adopt from a rescue? Ask Misumi if he knows any kittens in need of homes? Go to a cat cafe-to-adoption place? They could do any, but it basically becomes Izumi fawning over all of them and Sakyo having to gently remind her that no, they can’t adopt all of them

Izumi is heartbroken and continues playing with all of the kittens, conveniently in denial, trying to figure out how she’ll choose

Sakyo mostly stays back, content to watch Izumi being surrounded by a bunch of tiny little fluff balls

He pets the kittens when they approach him or when Izumi hands him one, but doesn’t interact much otherwise

Mostly because they’re so tiny what if he hurts them?

But there’s one kitten who keeps coming back to him, climbing over his limbs, batting his glasses, nomming his fingers and yes, he finds it a little annoying, yet he can’t help but smile at this rambunctious little fellow

Izumi sees all of this and decides that they’re adopting this kitten

Then finds out that this kitten has a sibling and “Sakyo, we can’t just leave them alone! They need a playmate!”

They go home with 2 kittens

They got the kittens for Izumi why do they keep pestering Sakyo?

Tie between Izumi teasing Sakyo for being their favorite and sulking at him for being their favorite

So glad they adopted two kittens because they can play with each other. Sakyo shudders at the menace that 1 kitty would be without a playmate (he loves them, but 3AM is human sleep time not play time)

Izumi refers to them as the kittens mama and papa and Sakyo blushes every time

The dorm members find it really hard to take Sakyo seriously when he’s sternly lecturing them, then speaking really sweetly to the kittens, then lecturing them again in the span of 20s

Izumi will spam Sakyo’s cellphone with pictures of the kittens and her

“Out on a walk!”

“LOOK AT THEM SNOOZING”

“Come home soon, Papa”

Definitely makes an attempt at a cat-safe curry

Will use the kittens as excuses to be lazy

“Can you please get me some water?”

“You can get it yourself.”

“I can’t, I have a cat sleeping on me.”

sighs and rolled eyes

[silvercaptain24]

Not only am I writing a sickfic (which I haven’t made progress on in a while but am still mentally planning it and it still exists in my mind so that’s a good sign) for Epic but now I’m also heavily debating writing someone hiding an injury

Because I react to those the same way I react to sickfics lol

The idea….. may or may not be based off current irl experiences for me but shhhhhh

Ad’ika. No.

To the rl injury hiding, I will absolutely read both stories

[spacegoatart]

Hi! I've seen your post about Treasure planet headcanons, soo here is a bunch of mine:

• Silver speaks multiple languages; sometimes he mixes them up as he goes, especially when he's tired, and ends up with "wait what" moments. Some of those become inside jokes between him and Jim.

• Silver hums space shanties when he's working; sometimes he isn't really aware that he's doing that, and if someone (Jim or maybe Sarah Hawkins) asks him what song he is humming, he may not be able to answer right away. He taught Jim a bunch of them, and Morph learned them by constantly overhearing; sometimes the little shapeshifter would either copy Silver's humming or morph into a musical instrument(tin whistle, harmony, maybe a really small lute/guitar) and literally play itself, or morph into whatever lyrics say–tiny ships, aetherium sea monsters, you name it.

• The eye in the bonzabeast stew isn't an actual eye plucked from someone – its actually a fruit from Silver's homeworld, basically a really freaky looking space cherry tomato; it is tricky to industrially grow and harvest even in its natural range, so there is little export and not many people know about it. It is tasty, though, especially pickled, and Silver likes it. They are legally required to be sold in opaque glassware on some worlds, though.

• Jim really likes the texture of solar sails(I hc it to be similar to a really tough, but smooth synthetic, like an outer layer of clothes for winter sports–not stretchy and making nice crinkly/hissy sounds when rubbed against itself) also, solar sails are ironed together rather than sewn when repairs are needed, and when Jim gets his hands onto a real sail iron press for the first time and gets a feel of patching up a sail, he nearly cries with happiness(he put the sails on his solar surf together with homemade instruments, and it was a lot of trial, error and burned fingers)

• Jim has either inattentive or combined type ADHD(a good bit of projecting here, gotta admit); it added a lot of stress for him, both during his sailing on RLS Legacy and in the Academy; Silver is mildly confused, but supportive dad.

• Jim learned some really fancy cooking skills from Silver–he knew how to cook before, but had a pretty utilitarian attitude towards it, not a passion for it. Sometimes he stress cooks or stress cleans, and Silver has to remind him to drink water/stretch/take a break, kid, seriously, you've spent literally hours pacing around, you'll have blisters on your feet if you won't stop

I have more, but I feel like I shared a lot for the first time. Hope you're having a good time ^_^

yess thank u for these, i love all of these :D i wanted to talk about each one so it gets kind of wordy, i really enjoyed seeing these (sorry it took me a few days to finally answer, i meant to answer earlier but i got busy)

1. i love this one, this could be canon lol. its very resourceful to know multiple languages as a pirate so i’m sure he does know many, as well as mix them up. Jim would immediately tease him about it, Silver would laugh about it too.

2. UGH YES he totally sings, i was kind of disappointed that we don't hear him sing in the movie but whatever. morph loves his singing and would totally join along or find a pocket and fall asleep. Silver probably has a great voice making his humming/singing even more enchanting to listen to.

3. this one is really interesting, i hadn't thought about the fact that it may not be a real eye but that would make sense. it wouldn't be the first time nature has adapted visual defense mechanisms to stop things from eating them. the glass jar idea is really cool because yeah, you don't want to buy a jar of something and see eyeballs, as well as someone might put actual ones in, that's a hazard.

4. yess love Jim with sensory issues, he would totally just go up on the mast and touch them and loose his mind. Silver would tell him to get down, etc but he kind of gets it. solar sails are probably hard to care for, especially if they're supposed to soak up energy (i think at least, they're supposed to be solar panels but thinner and flexible) so they would need a special set of tools, ones i’m sure Jim couldn't afford at the time. i wonder if he bought his own or if Sarah and Silver got him one for a birthday or something

5. YES i hadn't even thought about mentally ill Jim but yes he 100% has ADHD (i also have ADHD so don't worry about projecting xD). he probably couldn't focus as well in school and with the stress of the inn and Leland leaving him, he got so frustrated and kind of gave up. while that sucks, he found something to entertain himself, solar surfing and it absolutely became his special interest. when he gets to the academy, he starts to struggle again but this time hes not as put off by it, since he really did want to go. he probably doesn't find out that he has ADHD until either a year or few months in, mainly because it isn't his behavior causing him to fall back. Sarah probably feels so guilty but Jim lets her know that its ok, even he wasn't aware. he starts using his diagnosis to learn what he can do to help himself and he starts getting motivated to keep learning. i was thinking about Jim in the academy, i think he’d become super interested in math, maybe it'd even become a special interest! i just think he’d love to know the way numbers make up the world and how you can determine events based on calculations

6. Jim probably knew how to cook before from his mom but Silver definitely sparked an interest in him. cooking became less of a known skill and became an art, watching Silver garnish dishes, make special sauces and create something delicious out of just the few things on the ship. i bet he’d come home and start stress cleaning, confusing the heck out of Sarah. she knew he was stressed but couldn't help but be a little grateful that her kitchen was completely clean. when Silver is around, he doesn’t really understand that Jim is stressed out, he just thinks he’s cleaning. once he DOES catch on however, he hangs around while Jim is scrubbing, handing him water, convincing him that he can talk about it if he wants and keeping an eye on him in general. it ends up stressing Silver out, watching Jim get so worried over a grade or an assignment, so Silver tries to get Jim to go on walks with him and relax a little. however, Silver knows he can’t make Jim do anything so when Jim insists he just wants to clean and think for a bit, Silver leaves him be. not that he doesn’t immediately go to Sarah to talk about how worried he is about Jim. i wonder if Sarah stress cleans to, maybe Jim gets it from her?

[aboveallarescuer]

No question, I just wanted to let you know that you & your metas/posts are so so SOO appreciate 🎉😊 you are such a blessing to the Dany fandom.🍾

Your metas are always so thoughtful & insightful, and the frequency with which you publish them, is astonishing & almost a tad scary. 😅

Anyway bless you 🤗💕

And not to mention how you always manages to remain polite, level-headed and respectful in discussions, whenever addressing a real person or talking about a character, yet unwavering & straight to the point. Very admirable 👏🏻 [ I envy you for that😬]

Thank you for sending these messages <333 I have a few mutuals who write much faster than I do, but I appreciate the compliment anyway lol. Especially the second one, because yesterday I was kind of sad thinking about how I probably helped to split the Dany fandom for being so vocal, particularly after that big fight last year...

I don't want to make it seem that the people I disagree with (the "neutrals", as I call them) never make interesting points or are "bad" people (I don't know them in real life and I don't think fandom is activism at all) or necessarily resent/hate Dany because none of these things would be true... So follow whoever you want and never feel like you're "betraying" your group because you don't owe anything to anyone here.

At the same time, though, I do get frustrated when I see that a lot of the "neutrals" mischaracterize Dany as arrogant and/or ruthless and/or hot-headed and/or obsessed with prophecies and/or susceptible to flattery and/or someone who doesn't think ahead and/or anything that actually defines Cersei and/or Stannis (both of whom are foils to Dany). I do get frustrated when I see them acting as if fighting for the Iron Throne is worse than fighting to retake Winterfell. That book!Dany is actually humble, modest, self-reflective, hard on herself, not susceptible to flattery and unwilling to use violence are all things that, to me, should be accepted as obvious facts just as much as Catelyn being driven by her loyalty to her family, Tyrion and Sam being intellectually driven, Davos and Brienne being good people, etc. And when I questioned them about these things, I was accused of dogmatism and intolerance at best and harassment, bullying, doxxing and stalking at worst. That crossed a line for me. And it makes no sense because they say that they're book only fans, but they're clearly still being influenced by the show's portrayal of Dany. I don't know about you, but I change my opinions when I'm presented with information I may have overlooked. That is why I always tend to bring up textual evidence (which most of them don't care to do). But what it seems to me is that the "neutrals" willfully ignore the evidence that Dany stans (and Arya stans too, because we've had similar issues over the years) provide instead of adjusting their views accordingly. Their attitude seems a lot more like mob mentality to me than what I do, imo. And considering how a lot of the people who made/agreed with the false accusations about me were also involved in this disgusting attack against the RL shippers, I can't help but look askance at them and their requests that people accept their takes (which are already the commonly accepted ones) and be nice to each other (because that seems more like telling us to keep quiet because they don't want to feel uncomfortable by having their views challenged, especially since they themselves often start fandom wank and are pretty nasty). So I avoid engaging with their content nowadays because of all these factors and I express my anger sometimes. But I also want to make it clear that it's a personal choice and anyone can follow whoever they want. I don't think it makes you "less" of a Dany fan (though that doesn't prevent you from judging her based on higher standards either because feelings don't always align with logical arguments).

Sorry for using these asks to get some things off my chest, I was feeling kind of guilty after I saw a post about how someone's appreciation for ASOIAF was ruined by their fandom experience (which is supposed to be fun). I hope people can see where I'm coming from. If what I say makes you dislike me, it's totally fine. But I won't stop defending Dany and presenting textual evidence when/if I have the time and energy to accurately characterize her because the double standards against her in this fandom are endless, go way beyond Jonsa hate and the claims that she's being set up to become a villain/Mad Queen and become really evident when you have a comprehensive knowledge of book!Dany's characterization and judge her actions based on the moral standards of her society.

[yakocchi]

A Doting Kiss, Part 1 // Count

full title // A Doting Kiss / His Mark, Engraved on Your Skin

mmm honestly if they’re gonna do 2-part scenario events and collection events, i do appreciate it more when the part 1 charas from the scenario event are also in part 1 of the collection event, like done here. i mean the con is not giving a shit abt the game for 2 weeks at a time but... is that really a con

anyway, the overall theme is about them leaving a kiss mark on the mc somewhere. so yea a hickey i suppose but thats not a very classie word. well anyway thats it honestly but i mean. is nice. mileage may vary based on body part i guess

Unmarked Spoilers of all kinds behind the cut! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*)

—”Since today marks the anniversary of the day we met, I want to spoil you,” he had announced.

[Count]: “—Well, have you decided on your wish yet?” In his room, the Count directs a gentle smile. He had said to me, “For the anniversary of our meeting together, I will let you ask one thing from me...” It’s a bit of an embarrassing one, but I did decide on a particular request for him.

[Kara]: “...Please don’t laugh at it.” [Count]: “Mm, I promise.” [Kara]: "I want you to make a kiss mark on my skin...” The corners of his lips then raise, the arc resembling a crescent moon. [Count]: “Ah, do you like it when I make marks on you...?” [Kara]: “...Yes. I thought that it was quite childish to want something like a kiss mark, but.” [Count]: “If that is to be your wish, then I shall grant it.  —Kara, come here.”

Called upon, I then sunk deeply into the sofa as I sat down... and closely approached Abel’s side. Eyes glossed with an allure that even made me tingle in suspense gazed intently, and my cheeks flushed hot despite nothing having been done to me yet.

[Count]: “Well now, where shall I make a mark...?” He takes my hand, dropping only light kisses along the fingertips and the back. His lips trace along the skin as if to assess the places to leave a mark... Place after place, the chambers within my heart stirred restlessly. While trying to suppress my voice, the buttons of my blouse then become undone one by one. [Kara]: “mn- Nn...” Kisses rain down along my stomach, waist, everywhere—  and my eyes become wet, almost impatient with this pleasure. [Count]: “Making a mark somewhere visible and then flaunting it around the manse residents is certainly entertaining, but...” [Kara]: “Abel... kya-!” He takes my knees into his arms, and ruffles through my skirt. I’m embarrassed at myself for reacting so sensitively at even just the feel of the thin fabric brushing against my skin. Lips draw near the soft side of the back of my body, the part always hidden beneath my skirt...

[Count]: “How about I... leave a mark in a place that no one, not even yourself, can see?” [Kara]: "But then, I won’t be able to tell if you properly left a ma-...” Before I could finish my sentence, he smiles with a dangerous look on his face. With my eyes stolen away by those irises, elegance and lust melded together within them, something then clings onto that soft place of mine... [Kara]: “Nn-...”

[Count]: “...It’s beautiful. On your white skin, my red mark drifts above....” From my angle, I couldn’t see it at all... However, I simply believed that his mark had been made on my body— and as if strong light flickered and sparked before my eyes, I was enveloped in this euphoria. [Count]: “Whether this mark has been properly left on you, I shall make certain of it for you in such ways. ...in any number of times.” [Kara]: “That’s a problem...”  [Count]: “Hm...?” [Kara]: "If you touch me like that, I’ll end up wanting that ‘any number of times’ from this point forward...” [Count]: "It’s all right if you desire such things.”  As if to seize my entire body, even down to my heart... his hands feel through my chest.  [Kara]: “...Mnn, hah-...” He then shifts them so as to wrap them around, and when he toys with the very peaks a distressed voice spills out of me. I, already... both my body and heart are already lost within him. [Count]: “Every time you yearn for it, I shall hold you until you break... —”

or if you want to want to assume that he’s using the other word:  [Count]: “Every time you yearn for it, I shall make love to you until you break... —”

With my mind gone completely blank, I wrap my arms around his back as my answer to him. His sweet caress melts me in every place, in every way, possible...

FIN

well theres only so many body parts (and it seems like each guy will have a diff part) so inevitably one of them has to get the aysse... and well if it fits

lol i do feel kinda bad that the writers or whoever took a look at him and said “he will be... the ass man”

also i think this is the first collection story in which they write Abel. idk why they took that long considering they’re using dazai’s real name like nobody’s business. granted dazai’s name is not really a secret that’s exclusive to the game... it’s just the rl one’s name.......

off topic but the animated mini figures are... just kinda cute i guess. not worth the 5 tix worth given the effort/muney you have to use to get these tix... but there’s nothing else to redeem yet and im bored

i hate that they couldn’t find a way to resolve getting his arms out with his coat cape in the way (w/o extra effort) so they just made him actually wear the coat... as a coat. wat!! impossible

thenks for reading!!

[lady-rian]

🤦🏻‍♀️ How do you handle anon hate?

I think the only time I have gotten anon hate is when I legit asked for it when there was a plethora of it going around. Like I posted to the defense of a friend that if anyone wanted to hate on anyone then they could bring it at me. Thusly I think the only anon hate ask was a spoof joke from said friend. lol

There may have been one other time on Cypris and we both laughed it off with some snarky response. They say you know you're doing something right when you get hate spewing at you and well... I must be a big fuck up cause I don't and haven't. But then again I try not to let myself get baited into out of character drama. Shits for the birds and I've had more than my fill of RL drama to really give a shit what someone online through pixels thinks of my fun.

TLDR: I find it funny and turn it into a joke. I may touch base with a friend to see if there's any truth to it, just cause if I'm in the wrong I'll own that and move forward accordingly. Other than that? How bored and miserable do you have to be to decide to spend time trying to make someone else miserable rather than using the time to live your best life?

@chonkychungus thanks for the ask!

[jezmmart]

Chamomile Comic Trivia #15

#72 Paperwork

Was fun to start designing a little more of The Cubby in this comic. I always enjoy pokey little twisty interior design so I wanted it to be snug without being TOO cosy, it’s still just a back-of-house area after all. We get a little insight into Brianna’s inner-workings here. She’s the type to bottle stuff up, and then when the bottle is full... get a bigger bottle.

No hidden easter eggs in the office or the store-room - the text on the blurry foreground boxes just mark them as containing napkins and salt sachets.

#73 Anxiety

So... Brianna’s a character who I created before Chamomile, and was originally considering forming a new original story with her based on the idea of “write what you know”. For me, that’s crippling nostalgia. I decided not to abandon these story ideas even when I decided to use her design for Cammie’s best friend, demoting her from main character of her own work.  (By the way, I planted that seed as early as this pin-up just for my own amusement, which predates the comic by a few months - see the picture frames on the shelf in the background (ignore the really small ones, they were just scribbles lol).

Anyway, like Brianna, I get a bit obsessive over trying to retain all my childhood “things” in a bubble seperate from adult life whenever I can - for example, I was bothered when Shrek 4 jokingly used an Enya song that is of great sentimental value to me in a parody vacation commercial thing, like, how dare they.  I’ll sometimes save particularly nostalgic media viewings for weeks where I’m off work, and have muted all my work-related whatsapp groups etc so I’m not getting “adult-life” buzzing in my pocket etc. Thankfully, none of this is to any kind of clinical level where I’d have a nervous breakdown or anything over it, it just really bugs me.  Anyway... in the “what personal issues shall I give to which OC”, Brianna drew the short straw on that one.  Cammie’s advice to Brianna here is basically what I desperately try to tell myself and act upon (and usually fail or end up disappointed that I allowed myself to not indulge my obsessiveness lol).

While I didn’t mention it for the commentary on that comic, this is also what drives Brianna’s issue in #26 - the one where they go to the pumpkin patch.

On a lighter note!  I’ve never been anywhere that offers a “French Fry Sundae” but I’m pretty sure they must exist.  I imagine this as an intentional, luxury version of the blissful act of dipping hot, salty McDonalds French Fries into cold, creamy McDonalds Sundaes, an indulgence introduced to me by my RL friend Julie (who I now owe a life debt to but, worth it etc).

#74 Gone

As oppose to trying to keep a handle on making Brianna’s pokey-back-of-house design TOO quaint, I allowed myself to design the exterior of Milky’s, this perfect nostalgic place, to be fittingly unusual and fun with it’s tiny, perfectly-kid-sized bench on the left and adorable little miniature garden complete with picket fence, grass, bushes and a pond on the right. The mascot and name of the place wasn’t overtly inspired by anything, just the first thing I imagined. I definitely wanted those elements to not be too cool, the kind of thing that once upon a time would’ve been appealing to a kid but looking at it now, is embarrassingly dated and clearly designed as an uncreative adult’s idea of what kids would like (like... let’s put a face on a milkshake cup and have it saying “Hey kids!”, c’mon).

To credit some more blatant inspiration, the mini-joke halfway through of Cammie reading about Uncle Milky’s death mid-sentence was definitely my own spin on a classic gag that was a favourite of mine in both The Simpsons (“Then I get into a skydiving accident and have to be rushed to the... GRAVEYARD!?”) and Gilmore Girls (“Four hours later, Sniffy was dead...  Sniffy was DEAD!?”).

Final comment is that that particular kind of chipboard used to board up windows sometimes is one of those mundane things I never imagined I’d have to figure out how to draw.

#75 Gone

We dip a little more into Brianna’s history of having divorced parents here - while my own parents are divorced, Brianna being so overtly affected isn’t based off my own experience, I was young enough to kind of just accept everything going on in my own life.  Beyond that, the goal of this comic was to just be as sickly cute as possible, lookit babby Cammie and Bri!!!

#76 Better

Again, here Brianna chastises her obsession with nostalgia in a manner that I really always try to act upon myself but am frequently unable to lol.  Their teacher “Mrs. Banfield” is a shoutout to my own Year 5 teacher Mr. Banfield, who was one of my favourites growing up, I hope life treated him well and he’s as nice a person as my child-self’s view of him was lol.

#77 Friends

Annnnd a nice heartwarming end to this little arc, again with some good advice from Cammie that I came up with and yet am unable to follow lol.

The final gag is of course a throwback to the comic where Cammie got stuck on the slide all night.  I kept going back and forth on whether to spell it out more (with Cammie’s response potentially being “no... all those countless hours were contained within a single night actually”) but I felt the gag was funnier if it was simple and snappy, with the audience had to work for it a little bit.  Apologies if anyone out there didn’t make the connection!

If I ever get round to making a printed version, an idea I had for a back cover was the whole cast sitting in sillouhette on swings in reference to this pleasant little scene... seagull included, lol.

[More Chamomile Comic Trivia] (Above link may not work correctly on tumblr app)

[ssaalexblake]

for the meme: criminal minds, doctor who, star trek (choose any!), the west wing, buffy or angel series

I literally have no idea how to rank these in preference order, wow. I’ve been staring at this for a week.  

A lot of these show i love them when i love them and hate ‘em when i hate ‘em??? 

6- Angel. This is a show i keep revisiting because i really love the cast of characters (mostly), Angel, Cordy, Gunn, Fred, Lilah and Darla first and foremost, but i have nothing against Wes, Lorne and Doyle? Lindsay was a boring villain, imo, and they missed such a chance when they decided to play him off angel more than Lilah because i think they could have made Far more interesting points by comparing them, tbh. That’s a pet peeve but i have a Huge shitlist for this show. But i really Do love the characters, and on occasion the plots Do show moments of brief, utter brilliance but then they swerve away from it Every Time and it’s So Annoying. I did not mention connor here because literally Everything to do with him is one of those ‘brief moments of brilliance that were swerved away from like they were contagious’ things. 

5- btvs... I Love this show but a lot of that is tied into childhood nostalgia??? If i watched it for the first time now it’d be hard to get through because i’d not know which parts to skip through for ease of watching, because i have very firm ideas on what episode and scenes need to be muted or skipped full stop by now and i feel like my ability to edit the show to my liking May have clouded some of my judgment on its quality on the whole lol. But my version of the show? Where i only watch the parts i like? Way higher than 5 here. 

4- TWW, would rank higher but seasons 5 and 6 are very slow. And I have to suffer through the Sorkin Self Insert Character(tm) because it’s a sorkin show. Loses more marks for creating female characters to shove Terrible feminism opinions on so it’s Socially Acceptable b/c it’s a woman saying it not him. In the shadow of two gunmen parts one and two are two of the best episodes of tv full stop, though, and honestly, season 2 on the whole is one of the stronger seasons of tv i’ve ever watched. I also really like s7, unpopular but it’s well paced and by like ep4?? it hits its stride and stays that way the whole time. Though, idk if i’m the only non american with this feeling, but on occasion some of the every day american value politics on the show is so Batshit i lose all sense of immersion? Not the Big Plots, i know those americanisms because of an awareness of rl politics and it no longer surprises me, but the small taken for granted stances that they mention offhandedly that make me go... what??????

3- Criminal Minds. Just over half this show was... at best average and at worst just straight up Bad, but damn when it was good it was good. I’m actually still mad at Patinkin for ruining the end of the Gideon arc because i may not Like the character as a man, but Damn he was such a well written and fascinating character and the story they were telling with him was fascinating and it was ruined. Also, this show will always have a place in my heart for killing him off years later out of sheer passive aggression. Honestly? i could write a 5000 word essay on my feelings on this show on the whole and i could never hope to say so briefly, but when it got it right this show Really got it right, and that actually makes up for a Great many hours of bullshit i watched in the name of it. And since it ended Tons of people have started loving Blake and i am Vindicated. 

 2- Star Trek Discovery - This show only has two seasons so it’s probably benefitting from not having ‘been on air too long-itis’ but i really do love it. And, truthfully, i could pick at it because it’s made some Choices and done some Real bullshit, but others could and have deconstructed that better than me... But also it has some great stuff in it too? i’d just end up writing an essay, again, but imo the good outweighs the bad, and this is way more my Thing in style than the older ones because?? idk, it just is. (tho.... !Picard Spoiler! what Does the trek universe have against gay latin men named Hugh??? That is weirdly specific.)

1- Doctor who - Okay, full disclosure, i won’t watch a lot of the new stuff, sometimes because i find the writing bad and sometimes because it’s written well enough to be infuriating, But like, when i love it, i really love it? I can honestly say watching s12 was the most fun i’ve had watching a season of tv in at least a decade and It was so satisfying to see all the threads everybody had picked up on in s11 come to fruition (and, also, vindicating lbr) and to see 13′s veneer fracture so completely. But then again, i’ve always enjoyed things for their character writing first and foremost and imo, chibnall’s always been good at that. The fact that the plots make sense 95% of the time too is an added bonus i would not actually expect from any era of dw. I just watched ten work a phone by putting a stethoscope to it. The fact that i don’t actually feel it needs to make sense probably helps it placing this high in this very over thought random meme i’ve spent a week on. Classic who is Also great because usually even when it’s bad it’s funny due to monsters made of carpet and papier-mâché. I even like the cybermen as villains in classic who and i am Not a fan of them in nu!who (the whole frankenstein mary shelley angle won me over b/c it was an interesting take on it with how they merged it in with classic horror, but i’m not big on them as a villain. Probably helped that they were kind of a vehicle for the main plot more than there for their own trouble making abilities? i find the whole type of narrative based around them is said better with the borg in star trek tbh). 

thank you! i did just win the over thinking prize, though. 

[yukipri]

So I’m back from the dead (literally). A Goodbye Message.

Hey there. Some of you may remember me.

Some of you may have wondered why I suddenly stopped posting, but the vast majority of you probably didn’t even notice, as is how it is. ^ ^;

I’m finally back, and it wasn’t an easy journey getting back.

Here’s what happened.

(Slightly long post, but please forgive me for not putting it under a cut, it’s sorta important)

On November 19th, I checked my blog as I always do, to learn that my blog was terminated.

No warning, no reason, suddenly BOOM gone. I’ve had this blog since spring 2012. It’s almost entirely sfw, I’ve always been hyper careful with tagging, and any questionable content has always been hosted on other platforms. Yet for some reason, I was one of many blogs caught up in what’s come to be known as the #TumblrPurge.

I followed all the steps. I emailed staff, first desperately, then more rationally, making my case. I figured that a bot had caught my blog, as I knew plenty of other more suspicious content blogs that were unharmed. At first there was hope, it’s just a glitch, it’s happening to a lot of people, they’ll give it back right away, some people have already gotten theirs back!

Nothing.

My methods of contacting followers were limited to my Patreon and Twitter, neither of which has much of a base. Followers who knew me on there were incredibly kind and supportive, and sometimes even reached out to staff on my behalf.

I didn’t want to spam, but I also was desperate. I emailed staff once a week. I tried using different categories. I tried adding attachments. My messages ranged from simple and succinct, to deeply personal and desperate.

I was honestly devastated. I spiraled into the worst depression I’ve ever been in. I could barely eat and vomited nonstop for a week. I gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks. I was completely out of control mentally, and even reached out to a psychiatrist friend in case I couldn’t handle it myself. I couldn’t draw, and thinking about projects that I once loved only hurt me more.

Talk about social media addiction, but I’ve legit never gone longer than a week without posting something for years, and especially since becoming a content creator, it felt sickening to not have the place where I drove myself to post constantly and consistently. It broke my schedule. It made me feel cut off from the world, and I felt claustrophobic and uncomfortable in my own skin.

I lost so many things with this blog. Yes, I was primarily a content creator, and while of course I had backups of all my art and some of my longer text posts, I lost so much more.

I lost, perhaps most importantly, all my interactions with my followers. I lost connections to so many people, people I hadn’t contacted in years and may not have even been active anymore, but who I always believed I would have this route back to. I lost memories, both online and of my personal life that I had recorded on here.

And as someone who unfortunately put so much of my identity and self-validation on my social media experience, I suddenly felt like I was absolutely nothing.

For the longest time, I thought I was su*cidal as a result of my depression (word bleeped out bc who knows what can get you flagged now). I certainly thought about death and dying daily.

But then, I realized what I was feeling wasn’t quite that. I didn’t feel like I wanted to die.

I felt like I was already dead.

Which, may sound like an exaggeration, but in terms of tumblr at least, it’s exactly the same. If I had died in rl, I would have dropped off the map, just like this. Suddenly stopped posting, no warning in advance. My blog may have existed, but in this case, no record of my existence even remained. To people who came looking for my url, I may as well have been dead. You wouldn’t have known any better.

Or who knows, maybe I was a criminal or had done something awful that resulted in my blog being removed. Maybe I had just had it with this site and had chosen to leave. Maybe I was just taking a much needed break. It would have been odd, since I prioritized communicating and always said when I needed a break, which was rarely ever. But either way, I had no way of telling any of you what had happened to me. My voice was gone.

Feeling like I was dead, after I recognized what I was feeling, was...disturbing, I guess. Kinda explained why I always felt like a corpse though.

(of course, feeling like I was dead contributed to thinking other things like maybe it’d be better if I really wasn’t around at all, but that’s a result, and not the main feeling.)

Anyway, I kept emailing staff, and I finally managed to come back. It took ten emails and over 2 months of waiting and wasting away and trying to come to terms with how I’m unlikely to get it back. I didn’t get my blog back until TODAY.

Now that I have come back, the landscape’s changed, as I had heard it had. They hadn’t even announced the adu*t content policy change when they terminated me. I honestly feel like I’m back in a world that’s moved on without me, and it’s made me feel very strongly how insignificant I was in the first place.

During my time being dead, I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do. I regretted not doing my 25K follower giveaway sooner. I regretted not getting this or that content out. I regretted having kept certain long text posts and ask responses in my drafts yet unpublished.

But more than anything, I regretted not being able to say goodbye, and thank you all for my time here.

Yes, it’s had ups and downs, but tumblr was where I first found myself as an artist. Tumblr was what first made me interact with and find a group of people interested in what I created. Tumblr was where I was able to interact with those people, you. And I know I’ve had my ups and downs too, and different fandoms and different moods, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for letting me be a part of your experience here, however big or small that experience may have been.

I also learned the dangers of immersing myself too deeply on one online platform. So much of myself had been poured into this one blog, this one blog that can disappear with a legit snap of staff’s fingers. (my twitter handle was “Got Thanos’d on Tumblr” for a good month lol) I used to think that’s what made my content valuable, that I poured so much love and thought and everything personal into it, that’s what made it special, but in the end oh so very damaging when it was ripped away. As someone who spent almost all my time online creating content, it was an awful reality pill I had to swallow, and I don’t want ANYONE experiencing the same thing I did.

So please. The takeaway here, if I can be a cautionary tale, is to be aware that an online identity is more unstable than you think it is. It can go POOF. I’m lucky to be here, and that staff finally responded, and that I had the masochism to continue emailing staff weekly no matter how much I felt like I should stop breathing afterwards.

Also, please, if you have people on this site you care about, whether it be a friend or someone you think is neat, anyone you will miss if they suddenly disappeared, please go connect with them in other places beyond this site, which may become increasingly unstable. This can be another social media if they have it, an email, a chatting platform, anything. Even if you personally don’t use it yet, create an account so you can find them when you can no longer access your account, or they can’t access theirs and they can find you. Don’t regret it like I did.

As for me, after all of this, I don’t know if I can post content on here again.

I’d gone well beyond hoping for another chance at this community. All I’ve been thinking about these past two months was how I would have wanted to say goodbye.

Now that I have my account back, I’m currently filled with more numbness and bitterness than any joy or relief. I don’t know if I can create content anymore for a platform that has hurt me so deeply, no matter how much its community means to me. This experience changed me, and I’ve taken damage that isn’t going to go away so easily.

As I think about what to do moving forward, for now, you can find me on my accounts that I WAS active on these past two months. They aren’t the same, but they were all I had.

If you read this message until the end, thank you.

Again, I might decide to post on here again. I might not. But for now, here’s again what I’ve been wanting to say for two months:

Thank you, Tumblr. And goodbye.

-Kazu

(yukipri.tumblr.com)

https://twitter.com/YukiPri_Art

https://www.patreon.com/YukiPri

[blue-sky-and-sunny-day]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (Non-negotiable, positivity is cool!)

Thank you @brokenfannibal.

Omg!!!! I don't know. Nowadays I don't like anything about myself. Lol. Let's try.

1. I like my eyes. Ha ha. The shape and size. ( this is a lame thing to say possibly, but actually I am satisfied with all the features and shape of my face). You people have no idea how much like an utter fool I am feeling right now. This is the first time I am saying/ writing this about myself. It feels weird.

2. I like the fact that I have studied English literature and not science. I may be jobless ( in my country there is little scope of getting a job with a degree in English lit if u r not interested in teaching, best u can get is a bpo job which will kill me with its night/rotational shifts before I can say FML. I tried once and after a month I fell sick and resigned. Never tried it anymore. There is actually no job in my State where I can use my literary background and the salary is terrible. I don't need it.)

3. The fact that I am single. I just want some peace of mind which is kind of elusive in my life, and I know I don't need or care for the pressure of a relationship after all the stress I endure everyday. I am unlucky enough to meet only a few men who r off putting in a lot of ways. Never got any chance to meet a lot of nice, kind, genuine gentlemen so that I can choose.I never had any time. I have never been in love in rl and I don't want a relationship not based on love. I am glad I am not under any pressure to settle down or have a relationship.

4. I have finally learned other people's opinion about me r actually irrelevant in my rl. I guess my parents r my only well wishers. I thought I have friends and relatives who cares about me, but that turned out to be a black lie years back while me and my family were dealing with a severe emotional trauma. A very difficult time which changed my life. ( it was nothing physical and not sudden) it left us broken emotionally and I still feel sick when I remember the veiled taunts and jibes which came from my closest relatives. It was appalling. Now I know them and their true colors and avoid them as much as I can. U may now understand my commitment phobia and my preference for being single. But I like the fact that I can accept and endure the possibility of a lonely life in future.

5. I have officially ran out of things to say. 😁. Okayyyyyyy I am glad that I am imaginative.

I don't even know if I did this the right way but i am glad to be tagged. 😘. Everyone is welcome to play. It is fun.

[queen-haq]

Hi Queen! You are kind of like our guru of turkish tv shows so I have to ask you this: did you watch Erkenci Kus? I didn't watch the show but a video of the couple popped up in my youtube recommendations and I really liked it!

Lol, there's so much I don't know about Turkish serials but I hope you're inspired to give it a try!

Erkenci Kus was a huge international hit, but not one domestically within Turkey. The actress is well known but the main lead actor, at that time, had not struck it big. Prior to that show, he had short hair and wasn't well known. For Erkemci Kus, he grew his hair and muscles and the whole caveman hipster look really took off and made him a huge hit.

I watched the show in the beginning but I grew tired of it. Unfortunately popularity got to the male lead actor's head and he became an ass in RL. He said some stupid things, acted like a jerk, and his managers forced him to leave Turkey so he can keep a low profile. He has a huge fan base in Italy and so he likes to go there a lot

The main couple also dated in RL but it eventually ended and that created a backlash as well. I really like the main actress on the show, she can do comedy but she's also pretty good at drama, but the actor isn't good IMO. Partially why I gave up on the show. Also, because they have to film sooooo many episodes, there was just a lot of filler and same drama bullshit that it became tiring.

But don't let me stop you, you may enjoy it. I feel like shows hit different when they're already done vs when you're watching live. I was watching live so week after week with no story movement was frustrating. You have the ability to jump to their scenes and knowing there's a satisfying ending, which will. Make your experience different than mine.

Sorry for the long essay 😅