#Also kinda random but i was feeling like this really weird affinity with ghosts

[yukipri]

So I’m back from the dead (literally). A Goodbye Message.

Hey there. Some of you may remember me.

Some of you may have wondered why I suddenly stopped posting, but the vast majority of you probably didn’t even notice, as is how it is. ^ ^;

I’m finally back, and it wasn’t an easy journey getting back.

Here’s what happened.

(Slightly long post, but please forgive me for not putting it under a cut, it’s sorta important)

On November 19th, I checked my blog as I always do, to learn that my blog was terminated.

No warning, no reason, suddenly BOOM gone. I’ve had this blog since spring 2012. It’s almost entirely sfw, I’ve always been hyper careful with tagging, and any questionable content has always been hosted on other platforms. Yet for some reason, I was one of many blogs caught up in what’s come to be known as the #TumblrPurge.

I followed all the steps. I emailed staff, first desperately, then more rationally, making my case. I figured that a bot had caught my blog, as I knew plenty of other more suspicious content blogs that were unharmed. At first there was hope, it’s just a glitch, it’s happening to a lot of people, they’ll give it back right away, some people have already gotten theirs back!

Nothing.

My methods of contacting followers were limited to my Patreon and Twitter, neither of which has much of a base. Followers who knew me on there were incredibly kind and supportive, and sometimes even reached out to staff on my behalf.

I didn’t want to spam, but I also was desperate. I emailed staff once a week. I tried using different categories. I tried adding attachments. My messages ranged from simple and succinct, to deeply personal and desperate.

I was honestly devastated. I spiraled into the worst depression I’ve ever been in. I could barely eat and vomited nonstop for a week. I gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks. I was completely out of control mentally, and even reached out to a psychiatrist friend in case I couldn’t handle it myself. I couldn’t draw, and thinking about projects that I once loved only hurt me more.

Talk about social media addiction, but I’ve legit never gone longer than a week without posting something for years, and especially since becoming a content creator, it felt sickening to not have the place where I drove myself to post constantly and consistently. It broke my schedule. It made me feel cut off from the world, and I felt claustrophobic and uncomfortable in my own skin.

I lost so many things with this blog. Yes, I was primarily a content creator, and while of course I had backups of all my art and some of my longer text posts, I lost so much more.

I lost, perhaps most importantly, all my interactions with my followers. I lost connections to so many people, people I hadn’t contacted in years and may not have even been active anymore, but who I always believed I would have this route back to. I lost memories, both online and of my personal life that I had recorded on here.

And as someone who unfortunately put so much of my identity and self-validation on my social media experience, I suddenly felt like I was absolutely nothing.

For the longest time, I thought I was su*cidal as a result of my depression (word bleeped out bc who knows what can get you flagged now). I certainly thought about death and dying daily.

But then, I realized what I was feeling wasn’t quite that. I didn’t feel like I wanted to die.

I felt like I was already dead.

Which, may sound like an exaggeration, but in terms of tumblr at least, it’s exactly the same. If I had died in rl, I would have dropped off the map, just like this. Suddenly stopped posting, no warning in advance. My blog may have existed, but in this case, no record of my existence even remained. To people who came looking for my url, I may as well have been dead. You wouldn’t have known any better.

Or who knows, maybe I was a criminal or had done something awful that resulted in my blog being removed. Maybe I had just had it with this site and had chosen to leave. Maybe I was just taking a much needed break. It would have been odd, since I prioritized communicating and always said when I needed a break, which was rarely ever. But either way, I had no way of telling any of you what had happened to me. My voice was gone.

Feeling like I was dead, after I recognized what I was feeling, was...disturbing, I guess. Kinda explained why I always felt like a corpse though.

(of course, feeling like I was dead contributed to thinking other things like maybe it’d be better if I really wasn’t around at all, but that’s a result, and not the main feeling.)

Anyway, I kept emailing staff, and I finally managed to come back. It took ten emails and over 2 months of waiting and wasting away and trying to come to terms with how I’m unlikely to get it back. I didn’t get my blog back until TODAY.

Now that I have come back, the landscape’s changed, as I had heard it had. They hadn’t even announced the adu*t content policy change when they terminated me. I honestly feel like I’m back in a world that’s moved on without me, and it’s made me feel very strongly how insignificant I was in the first place.

During my time being dead, I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do. I regretted not doing my 25K follower giveaway sooner. I regretted not getting this or that content out. I regretted having kept certain long text posts and ask responses in my drafts yet unpublished.

But more than anything, I regretted not being able to say goodbye, and thank you all for my time here.

Yes, it’s had ups and downs, but tumblr was where I first found myself as an artist. Tumblr was what first made me interact with and find a group of people interested in what I created. Tumblr was where I was able to interact with those people, you. And I know I’ve had my ups and downs too, and different fandoms and different moods, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for letting me be a part of your experience here, however big or small that experience may have been.

I also learned the dangers of immersing myself too deeply on one online platform. So much of myself had been poured into this one blog, this one blog that can disappear with a legit snap of staff’s fingers. (my twitter handle was “Got Thanos’d on Tumblr” for a good month lol) I used to think that’s what made my content valuable, that I poured so much love and thought and everything personal into it, that’s what made it special, but in the end oh so very damaging when it was ripped away. As someone who spent almost all my time online creating content, it was an awful reality pill I had to swallow, and I don’t want ANYONE experiencing the same thing I did.

So please. The takeaway here, if I can be a cautionary tale, is to be aware that an online identity is more unstable than you think it is. It can go POOF. I’m lucky to be here, and that staff finally responded, and that I had the masochism to continue emailing staff weekly no matter how much I felt like I should stop breathing afterwards.

Also, please, if you have people on this site you care about, whether it be a friend or someone you think is neat, anyone you will miss if they suddenly disappeared, please go connect with them in other places beyond this site, which may become increasingly unstable. This can be another social media if they have it, an email, a chatting platform, anything. Even if you personally don’t use it yet, create an account so you can find them when you can no longer access your account, or they can’t access theirs and they can find you. Don’t regret it like I did.

As for me, after all of this, I don’t know if I can post content on here again.

I’d gone well beyond hoping for another chance at this community. All I’ve been thinking about these past two months was how I would have wanted to say goodbye.

Now that I have my account back, I’m currently filled with more numbness and bitterness than any joy or relief. I don’t know if I can create content anymore for a platform that has hurt me so deeply, no matter how much its community means to me. This experience changed me, and I’ve taken damage that isn’t going to go away so easily.

As I think about what to do moving forward, for now, you can find me on my accounts that I WAS active on these past two months. They aren’t the same, but they were all I had.

If you read this message until the end, thank you.

Again, I might decide to post on here again. I might not. But for now, here’s again what I’ve been wanting to say for two months:

Thank you, Tumblr. And goodbye.

-Kazu

(yukipri.tumblr.com)

https://twitter.com/YukiPri_Art

https://www.patreon.com/YukiPri

[anotherclassicpretence]

Okay, random Star Wars: Rebels ramble, feel free to skip, because it is really long and mostly praise that someone's probably already described better than me. Also, spoilers for seasons 1-3.

Rebels is so good? Genuinely the first and only Star Wars media that truly drove me crazy 'cause the writing, the score (Force theme I love you and how you're subtle but potent in every instance), the characters, even the art style? Made me cry actual tears with their moments of brilliance.

TCW is so widely considered the superior one but the "The Last Battle" episode in Rebels made me have more feelings about the Clone Wars than all 7 seasons of TCW. Like, that little homage to the show with the end logo and score? Had me crying, the futility and destruction wrought on the entirety of the galaxy by that war only affected me after that episode. It gave a lot of emotional context to the events of TCW, I felt a weird fondness for the TCW characters after this episode. Also, captain Rex in Rebels is dealt with beautifully.

All the "big-shot" characters are dealt with well, actually. Ahsoka, Vader, Obi-wan, even Maul- none of them seem overdone, or like they're stealing the show, but their lines are powerful. The final few minutes of the S2 finale, where there's a montage of everyone's fate, and then the fade-out on a hopeful note despite the horror of everything? Made me have incoherent thoughts.

Vader walking out completely exhausted, the lightsaber mark on his helmet, limping physically and emotionally? I felt that scene- I felt the pain and conflict in his heart even in that simple walk- in the way he tried to negotiate with Ahsoka, in that uncertainty in his eye before he suppressed Anakin again, in the way (someone else has pointed this out, borrowing it) he says "revenge is not the jedi way"- it's not a taunt, not really a tactic to make her back down- it's a final lesson to his apprentice. And then, that walking out with the owl (I guess it's an owl) having its happy little flutter over the devastation of that planet? Showed me how powerful yet broken Vader is.

Even Ahsoka's "I won't leave you"- it's not with any real hope that he'll turn. It's a way to seal a gushing wound she knows will never heal otherwise. Her guilt is a factor, but so is the jedi way she claims to have left. She will stand by her loyalty to Anakin, even if it kills her. And implying that it does kill her, but still showing her silhouette in the blinding light for a second? dfjiwrgbju I know she comes back, because spoilers from Mandalorian, but I'm beyond excited to see how.

The Spectres have my heart, every single one, and I love how all of them are taken seriously. I won't get started on any of them cause I won't be able to stop. They seem realer, more human, more attached to each other; more like a family, in a nutshell, than any group in TCW (for me, at least). The slow unravelling of their personal histories is done realistically, and the absence of OP heroes whose lightsabers can cut through a thousand droids kinda... elevates the plots? All the Spectres use their respective skills, their plans are dynamic and refreshing because of the different approaches they take, and each episode explores different planets and peoples with a closeness that I feel was absent in TCW. They aren't just tactically judged- we feel an affinity for the Rebels' cause through their respect for the people they help. The Ghosts of Geonosis episodes, with the last surviving native and the egg, are a nice example of this.

S2's finale, with Ezra's temptation and Kanan's blinding, sets up S3's conflicts beautifully, while still showing that the family's love for each other will carry them through, together. The fact that their responsibilities have grown, their risks and reach expanded, their individual demons demanding resolutions- all of it prophetizes danger, but hope that goodness will prevail- which in my opinion is the point of all of Star Wars.

It also sets up the Rebellion and the Empire as each other's foils, and does it well- it gets too on-the-nose sometimes (Saw Gerrera episode) but I think the episode where Zeb and Agent Kallus are stuck on the ice moon maintains subtlety while driving this point home. Kallus isn't bereft of honor, he's not inherently cruel, and he starts off with good intentions, but the Empire's way of doing things is calculated to quash any and all warmth or camaraderie. Kallus watching Zeb getting rescued by his team, with all their concern and joy, and contrasting that with the cold welcome he himself receives, the dreary and desolate quarters that are his home- it truly makes his defection believable, and it endeared his character to me. His changing relationship with his own sense of duty was conveyed in a lucid but not overt manner. Also, on the subject of foils, someone had mentioned that Kanan and the GI are such a pair, which I didn't really see, but I think S3 is doing a good job of setting Hera and Thrawn as each other's foils, with their approach to, or rather philosophy of, leadership- both are effective, but one will ultimately best the other. No, I'm not completely basing this off the screen cutting back and forth to their faces during part 1 of the S3 finale, why do you ask?

For the point of camaraderie, you also have the examples of Imperial training- no referring to each other with names, "there are no friendships here", the encouragement of disdain for each other- it portrays how many of the Imperials have had so much of their humanity taken away that believing in the Empire's grand vision is all they have left to console themselves. On the other hand, we have the Rebels treating even Chopper as a sadistic and cranky crew member. The droid double agent episode? Love. This can't be Chopper, he's too polite. They actually name the Attolan base after him.

Also, S3 gave us Grand Admiral Thrawn. Gold star. Stupendous. Villain of the year. I know he's going to wreck shit in the S3 finale, cannot wait to want to punch him. The politeness, the level-headedness, the cold, calculated cruelty; this guy is Competent, and his voice actor has my undying respect. Impeccable example of a voice "so soft you can hear the ice settling on his tongue". I'm starting to feel bad for how his accurate deductions never work out because everyone implementing them simply isn't on his level. Alsoo this may completely change with S4, but there's this quote someone used about Julius Caesar- "he is a man of violence, but not a violent man"- which I think describes S3 Thrawn pretty well.

After TCW's episodic cardboard villains, and the other extreme of invincible master deceiver Sidious, Rebels' Thrawn and Callus (first 2 seasons) manage to be an actual recurring threat whose plans are clever enough to challenge the heroes. Whenever Vader shows up, you can see why he's feared- not just for his prowess in conflict, but for his intelligence and perception- the crumbling Imperial resistance on Lothal in S1 suddenly does everything right when Vader shows up. He's only thwarted by having two ships collapse on him, and Ezra's reaction makes it clear that he Did Not expect Vader to brush that off, or survive at all.

Also, character arcs? Maul's despondency and craving for solace, for revenge against the Sith, whose ways he can nevertheless not give up? Kanan's growing acceptance of the Rebellion's bigger purpose and his own reconciliation with the Force and his changing identity as a jedi and teacher? Accomplishing the mark of a true master- trusting their apprentice and letting go because he knows he's done his part teaching? Ezra is... too long for this post. Also, Sabine and Zeb's reconciliation with their family/planet? All the Rebels restoring each others' faith? Even the minor characters- Fenn Rau, Hondo, Callus (don't mind me, this guy just became my blorbo, I absolutely cannot with him in the ice moon episode)- they're all fleshed out really well.

In summary (as if I've actually structured this) Rebels has a lot more heart than other SW media for me- the emotional beats which often fell flat in TCW worked on me here. Every time the Spectres made a decision saying "you are my home, you are my family"- it felt earned. I was genuinely upset even when the Phantom was destroyed. S4 better not come for the Ghost. Rebels really captured the humanity of the galaxy with these touches of how the Rebellion came together- the episode with the B-wing prototype, the squadron team-ups, the local recruits throwing off the yoke of the Empire. The success of the show, I think, was they made it small-scale. The little details took up entire episodes, and I personally couldn't stop watching.

On the subject of ships- Kanan and Hera activated the rijwasbkgie switch in my head that I had, until now, only observed in you fine bloggers.

Just to mention stuff I didn't like- the Inquisitors were cool, but ultimately forgettable. When the Seventh Sister opened her helmet I legit thought BARRISS OFFEE???? for a second, but alas, it was not to be. Also, Azmorigan- slimy, unnecessary, looks and acts like the vibe of the Denethor tomato scene come to life.

To conclude, if you like Star Wars, watch Rebels, especially if you've already watched TCW. I watched in that order (skipped Bad Batch because I'm not sure I'll like it) and it made TCW's points about violence and courage more poignant for me. Also, you get to see a badass character use the Darksaber right when you thought she couldn't get any more badass, and Kanan Jarrus offering free therapy via training to everyone, including, fortunately, himself. The lightsaber duels are to die for; Twilight of the Apprentice boasts probably the best-choreographed duelling in all of Star Wars- the Inquisitors against the jedi (and Ahsoka) and Maul, blind! Kanan defeating Maul, and the Ahsoka/Vader fight that I'm completely normal about? Poetic cinema.

[wiener-soldiers]

Would you do hcs on Peter and reader being like Shane and Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsolved?

oh my god i LOVE THIS

(if you didn’t read this fic about it) so when thor returns to earth with peter quill and the rest of the guardians, y/n and peter are freaking out because peter quill?? was on an episode of unsolved?? and ryan was convinced that he was abducted by aliens?? and he was RIGHT?????

they were freaking out and tried really hard not to start live streaming it right away

as a stark, y/n had a shit ton of clout online so the moment she opened her mouth about something as culturally iconic to gen z as this, twitter would break

so she and peter formulated a very specific plan: they were going to interview peter quill about his story, then invite ryan and shane and surprise them with him

peter quill was kinda shook about how he became popular because he disappeared. he was also in this weird space where he had been away from the earth for his entire life but surrounded by another alien tech

basically, he was confused as to why ppl from earth spent so many resources developing shit like buzzfeed unsolved and not space exploration

he was equally as confused as to why iron man’s kid and her spider-sticky bf boy were asking to interview him about how he was abducted

he said okay anyway because why the fuck not

peter and y/n sat peter quill in the avenger’s tower and just asked him to recount the story of how he got abducted and where’s he’s been after that. they asked him to bring proof, and because all the other guardians were unavailable, he brought a moody, teenage groot along

after the interview, y/n and peter told him they’d be right back as they went downstairs to greet their guests

getting ryan and shane to fly out to new york to meet them was (kinda) tricky. but when tony stark’s literal child publicly calls you out on twitter and invites you to interview some avengers, you fucking show up

it did help that y/n told them that tony stark was going to be at the tower the day of their interview

so in the elevator on the way up, peter and y/n are so excited they might explode, ryan is freaking out because he’s in the avengers tower, and shane is complaining because his shoes don’t match his outfit

they bring them to meet peter quill and ryan and shane freak out. for a solid hour and a half.

they then film a new unsolved video where they use the interview footage of peter quill recounting the story of how he got abducted and ryan and shane just asking him questions about his life.

then they film another video of peter quill reacting to his episode of unsolved with ryan, shane, peter, and y/n (they upload that video to y/n’s newly formed yt channel)

both videos go viral immediately.

it’s the most views buzzfeed has gotten since every single talented person on their staff left because fuck buzzfeed

that excitement for solving mysterious is addictive to y/n and peter so they keep doing it

y/n’s channel became a never used channel with the one video of peter quill reacting to his own unsolved video to her and peter investigating other pop culture rumors

they never rlly had an affinity for ghost hunting (and they didn’t want to steal ryan and shane’s show), but being teenagers, they heard a lot or random rumors and conspiracy theories that they wanted to investigate

and being avengers as well as having connections to tony fucking stark, they had the resources to investigate

so y/n and peter start a series where the investigate pop culture rumors, conspiracy theories, and urban legends

y/n tends to lean on the side of believing these rumors (because if a talking tree is staying at your place of residence, you have the tendency to believe shit like that) whereas peter was more cautious.

the first half of the video usually involved them sitting at a table, discussing the conspiracy theory, and debating its legitimacy. the second half usually involves them flying to a certain place in the world to investigate.

usually, they bring a special guest along with them. mostly because they need someone to fly them, but also protection. and it doesn’t hurt their views

sam and bucky are their most frequent guests. sam because he’s hilarious and makes every episode more chaotic and bucky because y/n and peter feel safe around him and the internet thirsts over him

they collab with ryan and shane a few times, but mostly make 20-30 min eps in their free time

one investigation they've been on was when they traveled to a small village in the middle of europe where there was said to be a portal to another part of the universe. they bring stephen strange, and he concludes that its a hoax

on another investigation, there’s this rumor that there’s a building in south america where if you jump from a certain balcony, you will “jump” into another dimension. they bring thor along to test that and he determines that it does not work

another really memorable investigation was a rumor that a lake somewhere in north america is “magnetic” and if there’s a big enough magnet, the water will actually deflect away from it. it was rumored that the us government would bury bodies under that like because you could never get to them. all the avengers went on that trip. they wanted a lake vacation but also wanted to test the dumb theory. ultimately, nothing happened but y/n and peter took turns trying to skip cap’s shield like it was flat rock

despite the internet not knowing peter parker was spider-man, they easily became obsessed with the conspiracy busting duo

[tipsycad147]

Courting Relationships with Spiritual Allies

by Phoenix LeFae

The spiritual path is one of self-discovery and exploration. There are times that this path may be smooth and easy, and there are other times that the path is challenging and difficult. The good news is that, no matter how hard the path may become, we aren't walking it alone. We can court relationships with deities, ancestors, and Fae to give support and guidance.

Relationships with entities are just that: relationships. It is important to remember that it is a matter of give and take. You can't call upon any ally over and over again without giving something back. You wouldn't do that to a human, so don't do it to a spiritual entity. The beginning of a relationship with an ally should start with you. It may be that there is an entity with which you've always wanted to work or an entity that has tapped you to work with them. But you have to be the one to take it to the next level.

You may feel drawn to or called to a spiritual ally because they have an affinity for your energy. Perhaps you are a healer and they are a Goddess of healing. Perhaps you are in the military and they are a warrior spirit. The affinity of energies can be a calling to relationship—like attracting like. However, the exact opposite may also be true. You may find yourself called to an ally that has a very different energy than you. Perhaps you are very serious and work too much and you find yourself called to a Godd* (I use this spelling to denote a more gender-full option for deity) of revelry and play. Perhaps you need a little tough love and you find yourself drawn to a spirit that is no nonsense.

It doesn't matter how the interest starts; the first step is homework.

The following steps are my tried-and-true method for connecting with a new spirit with which I have no previous relationship. These steps don't need to be done in a specific order, but I do encourage research to be an early step and one that is done over and over again.

Research: Read all the myths and stories that you can about any spirit with which you want to work. And in reading, understand that what you discover will only be a small part of the story. Myth only gives you so much information, and not all of it may be accurate. It's important to also look at the culture from which your entity originated. How and why did they come into existence? How did people work with them historically? Are they being worshipped in their place of origin? How might their modern worship be different from the historical worship? These are all important clues to the energy of the entity.

Affiliations: Learn the signs and symbols that have been connected with the spirit with which you seek relationship, both from an historical perspective and also from a modern perspective. Historical affiliations will only give you one piece of the puzzle; modern affiliations are just as valid and important in getting to know a new spiritual being.

Intention: Create an intention. Why are you seeking out this spirit and what do you hope the connection will bring? Be clear with your reasons. Tell the entity your reasons right at the beginning. Be honest and speak from your heart. Don't worry about "doing it right"—just do it with integrity.

Other Ally Introduction: Are there allies with which you already work that may be able to help you connect with this new spirit? Many Witches and Pagans work from an astral temple or spiritual place of power where they may easily be able to connect to allies as a means of making introductions. However, don't assume that all spirits know or like each other. It's kinda like when you're from San Francisco and someone from another part of the world meets you and says, "Oh, I have a friend named Sam that lives in San Francisco, do you know them?" It doesn't really work that way, but a Fae being may have more access to other Fae beings than you do.

Once you have started your journey of learning and opening up, there are some specific steps that you can take to deepen the new connection. These steps require your attention and diligence. I always warn folks about giving offerings to Fae beings and then just stopping. If you are opening up to a spirit, giving offerings, and making space for them in your life, and then you just ghost them, that's quite rude. It's rude to ghost a human and it's even worse to do to a spiritual ally. Depending on the spirit, they may not take it well and you may find yourself dealing with a difficult fall out. Treat any entity with reverence and respect.

Here are my five steps for creating connection and deepening relationship with a spiritual ally.

Make Space: With a new ally relationship, the entity you seek to bond with needs to know they have space in your life. This is both literal space and not-so-literal time in your life. Creating an altar for the spirit with which you want to work is the simplest way to open up the door. An altar can be as simple or elaborate as you desire. A bigger, fancier altar does not equate to a better relationship. Your intention and open heart mean so much more than a huge, lavish temple room. An altar can be as simple as an image of the entity and a candle with a place to make offerings.

Commune: As stated above in the first step, you need to make space for your ally. This is done as a way of opening up to communication. Again, an altar is a great place to do this. Make time for communing with this new entity on a daily basis. Show up. Sing, burn incense, leave food or drink, and show this spirit that you are worthy of their time and energy. Express your desire to enter into relationship with them. This could be as simple as talking out loud to them. It may feel weird or silly. Do it anyway.

Be Patient: Opening up to the Otherworlds may be really easy for you. A new ally may come right to you. And, conversely, it might be really challenging. It may be a slow process that unfolds over time. Patience is needed when opening up to a new relationship. This is true for humans as well as other spirits. Allow the relationship to unfold as it does without trying to force it, push it, or getting frustrated when it doesn't happen the way that you want it to.

Pay Attention: Watch for sign or symbols that things are starting to develop. These things may reveal themselves slowly or subtly. Pay attention to your dreams, synchronicity, or seemingly random events, as they may be more than random events. Notice when symbols or signs show up that are connected to the spirit with which you want to engage. Keep a log of notes when and how these signs show up in your life.

Negotiation: Don't take anything at face value. You are allowed to challenge a spirit that shows up to confirm they are who you are attempting to contact. When you feel confident that the entity is who they say they are, you can then ask for a token that will confirm their identity in the future.

Spiritual allies can be a resource for growth, comfort, and guidance as you walk your personal path. They may show up for only a moment or they may become a lifetime connection. Developing relationships with spiritual allies is not that much different from developing relationship with human beings. It takes time, awareness, and respect. Move forward with clarity and an open heart and you will find many rewarding possibilities.

Goddess Bless! GrannyMoon

★☽✪☾★ http://GoddessSchool.com https://twitter.com/GrannyMooninVA https://grannymoon.wordpress.com/

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