#may 7th may be a little calmer

[kindlythevoid]

(link to recipe here)

Part One, Part Two, Part Four

[yeoja-dream]

Found/Fated/Forever

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: BTS OT7 x Reader Genre: Fantasy, eventual smut, porn with plot, slow burn, hurt/comfort Characters: Supernatural!BTS, Vampire!Jungkook, Supernatural!Reader Content Warning: Y/N in danger Word Count: 3,100

“You want to WHAT?” You asked him, eyes wide, 

“Lower your voice! Someone next to you is gonna hear you yelling like that and call the bouncer.” He hissed. 

“Well I’m thinking that might be the right idea considering what the hell you just proposed to me.” you hissed back. 

“It’s not that crazy!” He insisted. “I step out of line, you blast me with radiant damage as hard as you can and if you don’t outright kill me, you’ll take the wind out of my sails plenty long enough to get far away from me.” 

You regarded him for a moment. “You JUST got through saying you had SIX mates. I know having two or three is rare, but you expect me to believe that you might have a SEVENTH mate and it might be me? We were vibing just now but I don’t know if we were vibing that hard.” 

“I also told you it's the same with each of my mates, something tells me I need to be somewhere, and by a crazy coincidence, we meet.” He adds. “I will know right away!” 

“Ugh!” You sighed, exasperated, resting your head in your hands. “You know 3 hours ago I walked into this club single, happy, looking to get drunk and have an easy fuck to forget a shitty day, and I’m walking out having saved a woman from a demon rapist, pissed off or turned on that demon rapist, and now I have a marriage proposal from the aether.”

“I can help with some of those issues, I think? You lost me there for a second I’m not going to lie to you.” 

You didn’t reply. 

“Look, I don’t want to pressure you. We had a great conversation over a strange and scary happenstance, and if you would rather go our separate ways as strangers having never learned the truth, then I respect that choice. Or the cheap fuck, if that option is still on the table.” 

You smacked him for the later remark. You sat, contemplative, and as if sensing you needed space, Jungkook excused himself for a cigarette, leaving you alone with your watered-down whiskey and your thoughts. 

I mean what are the chances right? He takes a little nibble, he spits it out, I take him back to mine, and we test out that vampiric stamina. It’s basically impossible that 1 person has 7 soul mates! You reasoned. On the other hand the one in a million, no billion, no TRILLION chances that you are this guy’s 7th sister wife what does that mean? Do I join his commune? They probably have a commune. Am I bonded to his other wives? Are they also vampires? I don’t think I have enough blood to go around. You rub your temples, frustration rising higher and higher in your body. I could also not choose. You reminded yourself. I could go home, forget this man, forget this night, and have everything go back to normal. 

Interrupting your thought process, David approached you. “You look mighty stressed.” 

“Yes!” You just about yelled at him. “Sorry, yes.” You said in a calmer tone. 

“Bar’s chill for the minute, what's up?”

You obviously couldn’t tell him the truth, but what if you were vague? Vague was okay. “I was confronted with a life-altering choice, and I don’t know what to do.” 

“Well, how do you usually make choices?” He asked, leaning back on the bar and crossing his arms. 

“I don’t. I find that fate has a way of making decisions for me.” 

“Well…” He shrugged, digging in his apron pocket. He slid forward a shiny, silver coin on the table. “You can have fate choose for you again.” 

You looked at him, then the coin. It’s my best bet. You thought to yourself, sliding the coin off the bar and into your hand, feeling the weight of it. May this lead me to the path of my destiny you willed into the coin before giving it a toss. 

The coin landed, and you understood what it was you had to do. 

~~~~

You met Jungkook on the street, just as he put a cigarette out on the cold pavement. 

“Hello,” he regarded you warmly. 

“I’ve decided.” You tell him. “Strings of fate and all that horse shite. I will blast the shit out of you if you take more than I tell you.” 

“You have my honor and my word.” He replied, punctuated with a dramatic bow. 

“Remember, blasting! And not the fun kind!” You warned him again, finger pointed sternly. 

“I would be disappointed in you if you gave me anything less.” 

“Anywhere really. I mean somewhere a little private. Like I said I just need a sip and I will know.” 

“Is my house okay? I mean you said you’d fuck me so I’d figure it was alright.” You asked, feeling shy suddenly. 

“Oh yeah, that’s fine!” Jungkook said. “I mean I was joking about the fuck thing I mean I just said it because you said it!”

You looked at him with a strange expression. 

“Not that I wouldn’t! You are extremely attractive! If you wanted to I would definitely be down don’t get me wrong I just-” He cut himself off. “I am making this so much worse for myself, aren’t I?”

“Very much so.” You said as you opened your umbrella and stepped out from under the awning. “Shut up and let’s go before I change my mind. The Uber will be here in a minute.” 

~~~~~

You lived in a one-bedroom place in a modest part of town, inside an apartment block that never seemed to be quiet, with the exception of this moment. Jungkook sat politely at your small kitchen table, you stood and leaned against a kitchen counter, the silence hanging between the two of you only interrupted by the sound of the rain hammering at the window, and the kettle steadily coming to a boil. You regarded him again for a moment, before turning to your cabinets and pulling out two mismatched mugs. 

“The tea will be done in a minute.” You said, ripping open the tea bags, setting one in each cup. A few more minutes of silence passed before Jungkook stood suddenly.

“I’ve never done this before,” He blurted. 

You take a moment to process what it is he could mean by that. He’s mated so he’s certainly not a virgin, seems to be over a hundred so it’s not his first time drinking blood you thought, before your mind wanders further. I did not just invite this man into my home to kill me. Tell me I did not invite this man into my home to murder me. God DAMN it, I fell for his stupid necklace and that incubus is probably waiting for his signal nearby.

“I suggest you explain yourself quickly and clearly, because it is sounding to me like what you’ve never done is have your ass blasted as hard as I am about to.” You said, turning around slowly, eyes locked on him. No funny business dude.

“I wasn’t completely truthful with you before. A lie by omission I guess which doesn’t trip up the necklace but I am going to stop rambling because you seem really justifiably mad.” He said putting his hands up. You took a step closer, energy beginning to crackle at your palms. 

“Every single time I met my mates, I was called to meet them by happenstance. That is true. But every single time they knew, or guessed we might be mates before I did. So I have never personally tested the whole “someone else’s blood or energy should be poison to me” theory.” 

“So you have no idea if this is even going to work!?” You yelled at him, palms crackling further. “So I’ve just invited you into my home so you can what, make a snack out of me?”  

“I know it works!” Jungkook countered, taking a step back as if almost cowering. 

“How?!” You demanded, lowering your magic a bit. You weren’t going to kill him, not yet anyway. 

“30 years ago!” Jungkook blurted nervously. “One of my hyungs, we got into a huge fight and he ran away for a few months. He subsists on energy, and when he tried to take from people that he wasn’t mated to, it poisoned him. Badley. He was starving and as close to death when we finally found him.” 

You look at his necklace and wait. No glow. So he was telling the truth. You lowered your guard completely. 

“Jesus Christ dude you can’t phrase it that way! I thought you were going to say “I’ve never done this before, never murdered!” and then jumped me with that incubus freak.” 

“No, you are right about that and I am really sorry.” He took a step back toward you, sitting back at the table. 

“If you know it works,” You began, pouring the now boiling water into each prepared mug. “You didn’t have to tell me you’d never tried it personally.” You said, placing each up on the table and joining him at the opposite seat. “It has no bearing on the outcome for you, so why did you feel the need to tell me?”

“Ah well,” he began, stirring a scoop of sugar into his tea idly. “I’m a stranger, asking you to make a big leap of faith that sure, benefits you, but also benefits me. I couldn’t sit right with knowing you didn’t have every piece of information I could offer you.”

“I… appreciate that.” You remarked, dumping 3 ice cubes into your tea. “I don’t like to wait for it to cool,” you admitted, somewhat sheepishly. 

“No, I don’t get the impression you do like to wait for much,” Jungkook replied, offering his cup to cheers with yours. You clink mugs and drink your tea in comfortable silence.  

~~~~~

“So how is this done usually?” You asked him, standing face to face in your combined living room and bedroom area. 

“Truthfully?” He asked you.

“Truthfully.” You confirmed. 

“My kind typically have been the stalk you, grab you and lure you into a dark alleyway and drain you of all your blood or charm you with magic and charisma and lure you to a place where we do the same thing, sort of people.” 

“I am confirming that that is not what we are trying to accomplish?” You half-jokingly asked. 

“That is not what we are trying to accomplish.” He confirmed. “I want you to be comfortable. However, wherever would be the most comfortable for you is where I want to do it.” 

“Um, okay.” You looked around. “I guess for me that would be my bed, that isn’t weird right?” 

“Not at all,” He confirmed, allowing you to lead the way. 

“But-” You stopped halfway before getting onto your bed. “It’s just my duvet is white, maybe I should put down a towel? In case things get messy.” 

He scoffed at that. “I am not such a pedestrian, I reckon I have been drinking blood since you were born.” 

“Are you sure about that?” You looked him up and down. Vampires didn’t age, sure, but surely he couldn’t be THAT much older than you, right? 

“If I get so much as a drop on your duvet, I will replace it with any duvet of your choice.” He said, placing his hand on his heart. 

“It doesn’t mean that much when you place your hand over an undead heart.” You said knocking his hand off his own chest. “But you’re not glowing, so I will take your word for it.” You said, sitting down. “Come, sit.” You invited him with a pat on the bed. He obliged. 

“Hey,” You began, after letting a few beats of silence pass. “Do you think we could just lay side by side for a few minutes?” 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He said, following your lead and sliding himself up the bed, laying comfortably on one side, you on the other. 

A long silence hung in the air. “I fuck strangers and this is somehow the most intimate I’ve been with one ever.” You remarked sarcastically. Jungkook chuckled lightly in response, 

“Me too.” 

More silence hung, heavy in the room. You laid back, eyes boring holes into the ceiling. He too laid, unmoving, this is all on your terms he was communicating. You shut your eyes. 

“What does it feel like?” You whisper. 

“The bite, or the connection?” 

“Both” 

“The bite hurts for a second, but it goes away pretty fast. Vampire venom has powerful numbing properties. Some people even feel peace or euphoria, it's supposed to keep you from running from us once we have you.” He paused before continuing. “The connection is, overwhelming, in a word. Everything in your body turns up to 11, you become very magically charged, emotionally charged, physically charged and, uh, sexually…” He cleared his throat. “Charged.” He finished. 

You sat in silence, digesting that information. You roll over on your side, facing him, he mirrors you. 

You spent a few more minutes, studying his face in earnest. At this proximity, there was a boyishness quality you didn’t notice from far away. It was cute, even, bunny-like, and as you stared at him, you searched your mind, your heart, your soul, desperately looking for recognition, the easy way out, one last chance to avoid the leap of faith. 

“What if I am mated to you?” You whisper

“We will figure it out.”

“How?”  

“Do you trust me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Before we begin, I told you before you might lose some of your sense once we begin. Where is a line too far? Where should I stop you? Where should I stop me?” 

“The troubled, sarcastic, sad part of me knows I can’t trust anyone.” You said, raising your hand to cup his cheek. “But something deep inside of me is telling me that you are truly good people. And for once, I am not going to push this one away.” You whispered, voice wavering. “Just, don’t hurt me, okay?”

He didn’t reply, but he held your gaze. 

“Jungkook?” You ask softly. 

“Hm?” 

“Would you kiss me please?” 

He then scooted closer to you and mirroring the motion you did before, he raised a hand, cupped your face gently, and placed a single, lingering kiss on your lips. He pulled away slightly, but a centimeter, I’m ready, but only when you are, he communicated to you. You closed the gap this time, I’m ready.

The kiss started off slow, chaste, even as two bodies, two energies tentatively explored the other in the more intimate environment. Jungkook was a good kisser, you decided, firm, but not too pushy. He allowed you to set the pace, the intensity, but what you gave he took readily. You parted your lips to him, and he took them greedily, using his free hand to hook around your back and drag you across the bed and completely flush with his body. You found your arm folded into his chest, the building intensity causing you to grip the fabric. You kissed greedily now, hungrily, like lovers long since reunited. It felt good, it felt right, you also decided. Kissing him was like the gentle respect and deep intimacy shared between two people who had loved each other for a long, long time. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt it, and you wanted more. 

Your arms were at a disadvantage, pinned against his muscular chest, but you used the position to pull yourself closer and closer still. You needed more of him. You wanted more of him. 

“Jungkook…” you whispered against his lips, a plea. 

“I know, God I want you too.” He whispered back his arm like an iron bar across your lower back holding you in place. “But we have to do this first, sex makes everything so messy and confusing.” He broke away from your lips, kissing up your jaw bone stopping at your ear. “I’m gonna do it now, okay?” He whispered. 

“Okay.” You confirmed. You found yourself then, in a swift move on your back with him straddled across your waist. From this angle, his baggy pants tented visibly over his crotch, the sight of which alone wound your core up so tight, you wondered if you’d cum immediately when he slips it in. He didn’t give you long to appreciate the view, as he leaned over you, face to face, and continued to kiss you. Your tongues didn’t battle but danced in harmony, and as you felt your hips rise to grind against the hardness so close to where you needed it, he broke away from your lips again, panting, he again peppered kisses up your jawline, but then down your neck this time gently sucking and licking on his way down, leaving you breathless. He settled on the spot but gave the skin special attention, the sensation of which had you sighing and running your fingers through his hair. 

When he was finally satisfied, he wasted no further time and sank his teeth in, the sensation of which made you yelp in pain. He didn’t lie about the pain. After a brief pause, you felt the sensation of him drinking you in. He swallowed once, came up for a breath, and in that moment, from head to toe, it was like you had both been struck by lightning. 

Overwhelming wasn’t the right word for it. Euphoric. Pure energy crackled and popped at your skin, literal sparks flying off at the points your skin connected. It was painful, you thought, but everything felt so amazing it faded into the background. Joy, pure joy radiated through your body. In fact, you can’t recall a time when you had ever felt this light-hearted and happy.

In the same moment, as euphoria washed over you, Jungkook’s demeanor changed and with a visceral, animalistic grunt, he dove back in sucking at your neck. The sensation was divine. 

“More, more” You found yourself begging again and again. He was like an immovable object in his current positioning, but you allowed yourself the luxury with your now-free hands to slip under his baggy shirt, relishing in the corded muscle of his back and biceps. 

The more he drank, the closer it seemed you got to the edge of something great. As something darker and harder to control overcame Jungkook, he didn’t notice when your enthusiastic pleas for more turned into incoherent babbling, and only when he had his fill, and the dark that consumed him receded, did he finally realize that you had fallen silent for quite some time. 

He pulled away from your neck and examined your body in horror. Limp, and unmistakably ashen. You looked like a corpse. 

“Y/N,” He said, panic in his voice, shaking your shoulder. “Y/N!” he said louder now, yelling and shaking you as violently as he dared. 

Fuck.

Fuck.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I told you guys one after the other! Like I said in the last post, I'm working on intertwined, that update might go up today or tomorrow, depending on what I'm feeling, I only promised this post! I also mentioned before that I will update the tags once I reveal which bts member is what/ what Y/N is but try to guess below! You might be right~

[seafoamreadings]

week of december 3rd, 2023

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: the week is somewhat stuffy for you but even though scorpio is a water sign, its martial affiliations give it some affinity with you. activity in that sign serves you even if it isn't exactly your idea of a good time.

taurus: on the one hand, venus in scorpio is not classically a favorable placement. but don't let her ingress there fluster you because on the other hand, that's your 7th house of relationships and partnerships. she juices it up starting from this week.

gemini: let this be a week of rest and recovery for you. be advised of some potential deceptive or misleading person, and don't allow any gaslighting. don't partake in such things yourself.

cancerians: water-sign activity all week really suits you well. you become extra psychic or perhaps merely extremely sensitive - but don't let anyone tell you sensitivity is a bad thing. it's a superpower! use it!

leo: big fixed and watery vibes may have you feeling overwhelmed as though you're drowning. the key to coping is playing up your 4th/10th house axis; balance your public and personal lives, glamorize your image while maintaining a home sanctuary.

virgo: this week is lovely for you in your neighborhood or local sort of community. if you can do a little volunteer work, especially early in the week and especially if it spreads beauty and/or love, so much the better!

libra: your ruling planet venus heads into one of her detrimental signs, but this is your second house and blesses you financially anyway. the caveat is to not get too excessively luxurious. then venus opposes jupiter, a jolly benevolent meetup blessing your shared resources as well.

scorpio: a lot of watery activity occurs all week, supporting you and making you enchanting. not least of all, venus makes her ingress to your sign. you are sparkly and charismatic like never before, more than ever.

sagittarius: some form of confusion at home is possible. get around it or through it by enforcing a peaceful sanctuary for yourself. you can set a hard boundary and leave it flexible enough to expand later when things are calmer.

capricorn: your deep inner work must continue. do not allow yourself to forget that it's just as important as the work done on the outer plane. let your friends help you in whatever way they can when they offer. helpful people abound.

aquarius: a distinct lack of airy vibes are mitigated by the moon's ingress into libra. use that time for deep philosophical work of any kind to get the most out of it. it can also be good to travel or at least expand your comfort zone.

pisces: neptune has been in your sign so long its cycles may feel like a part of yourself and not an external influence. this is a reasonable assessment in fact, but its ending of a retrograde period this week may merit some activity, ceremony, or celebration anyway.

[rainy-astrology]

ONEUS Seoho Birth Chart Analysis

Based on my opinion and observations. Not an expert. May change later.

June 7th, 1996

Busan, South Korea

9:24 am

☀️♊️, 🌙♒️, ⬆️♌️

Sun and Venus Gemini in 11th - Intelligent and witty, funny and straightforward. Sociable and charming, can get along well with others usually. He values friendships greatly and cares for his friends a lot. He may find a romantic interest through friendship first. Sun conjunct Venus is expressive and charming, able to get along well with many people. Although his Venus is in retrograde, so he may be a little awkward at expressing his affections. Not one for conflict, prefers peace and harmony. This peacemaker trait is emphasized more with Moon trine Venus aspect, especially as both are placed in relationship houses (7th and 11th).

Moon Aquarius in 7th - Having close relations gives him emotional security. He may not show it well due to having an air moon (his air placements seem to make Seoho a bit aloof and reserved from affection), but he values the relationships he has. His moon squares pluto, mars, and mercury...Detached yet intense but likely repressive bc he wants to be optimistic and positive. Should be careful about being impulsive and brash, can say harsh things when he gets very heated. Although his mars in taurus may calm this a little bit.

Very friendly and easygoing overall - which the members have said he is. He's also quite a jokester, which is likely due to his Gemini and air placements in general.

Mercury and Mars Taurus in 10th - Mercury in Taurus definitely explains that lovely voice of his! Many singers with Taurus Mercury have such pretty tones and amazing range of notes and emotions. His impressive vocal ability and sound (mercury) has given him recognition (10th). Mars in Taurus is in detriment though. Mars is aggressive and active, ready to go but Taurus goes against it since the sign is much calmer and slower than Mars is comfortable with. Mars in Taurus is also quite passive, which Seoho is - he doesn't really fight with the other members (although all the members have admitted to being passive/passive-aggressive to each other when mad lol), he lets people do whatever to him sometimes. E.g the time Leedo was playing around by pulling on his limbs and i was actually worried that Seoho would crack in half since Leedo's so strong, yet Seoho just laughed it off. Also the time he was playing a game with Tomoons (animal crossing iirc) and he did absolutely nothing when Tomoons stole his stuff in the game.

Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune in 6th - With all three in the 6th, it seems he can get bored easily? Routines and structure is not his thing, he needs variety and fun in his life. Neptune can make him more sensitive about his health and can be afflicted easily with sicknesses and other health risks.

Saturn in 9th - Practical and solution oriented, careful with decisions and planning. May have strong beliefs or none at all (I haven't seen him mention any personal beliefs so far tho). Realistic and usually self controlled.

Pluto in 4th - Deep transformative connection within family dynamics. There could also be power struggles within family. This could possibly affect his other relationships...there seems to be a theme of companionship in Seoho's chart.

Chiron in 3rd - Wound of being misunderstood and overthinking the way he speaks and expresses himself.

North node in 3rd - In the house of communication and learning, it seems Seoho should focus on connecting with others. He will learn and grow more when he talks with others; discover new things from other people instead of digging through things by himself. To not forget about others, work on cooperation. Maybe to be more self confident and speak up as well, esp in group settings considering he has Chiron in 3rd too.

Leo rising - Seoho can be quite charismatic and charming in his slightly dorky ways. He is a bright and energetic person, witty and funny. He stands out a lot with his sharp comments and thinking, his voice, and looks as well. The sharp eyes and cheekbones especially are prominent features with many Leo ascendants. Even the way his short film for his Malus was warm toned and darker compared to the other member's cool and soft tones is quite bold like a Leo rising

Taurus mc - Seek comfort and stability, being involved and recognized in the art field. In his case, it's being an idol with a lovely voice. Leo ac + Taurus mc makes for a creative person and career that values aesthetics

___

Kpop astrology list

[moya-zaichik]

IT HAS OCCURRED TO ME THAT MY OTHER POST MIGHT BE FECKIN SH@DOWBANNED AND NOW I'M WONDERING WHAT OTHER WORDS ARE, SO:

HELP A LATINX TEACHER OUT!

YES HELLO, It is I, again, back at it with another Art Classroom Fundr@i$er for my kiddos<3 I am currently raisin' money for a kiln (a clay oven) for my art students.

Exploring the arts is crucial to the development of a balanced human. While the classroom here already has a beautiful variety of paints, pastels, pencils, and the rest, there is little in the likes of 3D art. Especially clay.

Air-dry and polymer clay are all well and good and definitely have their uses, but there is no calmer, more grounding experience than to be able to mold earthen clay with one's hands and create with it.

This small but effective (and practical!) kiln will be the key for my arts students to unlock the possibilities of learning new skills, crafts, and self-soothing methods.

NO DON@TION IS TOO SMALL!! And if you cannot spare a dollar, please spare a share! A reblog, a link to social media (Facebook, Twitter, Insta, Tiktok, whatever), will help tons!

If you are overseas, and you cannot don@te but still wish to contribute: you may send money directly to my p@yp@l, and I will deposit the money into the pot. Just let me know what the money is for in the notes!!

I am SO CLOSE to opening the door to ceramics, clay, and pottery in my classroom!! Please spread the word!! I only receive the whole clay oven if the project is successful by January 7th!!!!

$1,145 Still needed!!

DO NOT TAG AS DON/ATI.ON OR SIMILAR PLEASE!

[alyjojo]

Twin Flame 🔥 Journey - November 2023 - Pisces

Your Energy:

8 Pentacles - 7 Pentacles - 6 Swords

Main Energy: 10 Pentacles

I already don’t see reconciliation, and I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t have it anyway. Saturn Gemini 7th House can indicate many things. There could be a significant age difference between you and this person, communication may be difficult, especially regarding emotions on either side, I heard “they be clownin” could be immaturity, or it can indicate this all happens while young and your real person comes in later, probably after your Saturn return around the age of 30+. Your new person could be older or younger too. You having pulled Cupid’s Arrow as the oracle shows you having hope for what’s next, the new, cuz it ain’t this one 💯

10 Pentacles, The Tower, 9 Pentacles. You had a whole family, a house, a life built, kids, dogs, a payment plan on a new washing machine when this person dropped the bomb on you that it’s over. Or something similar. You never saw this coming. You’ve since put a lot of work into yourself, your career, your stability, and your own peace of mind. For something so shocking and unexpected, something that uproots your entire life and your whole perception of it, you’ve done an amazing job of handling your business, and deserve some flowers 💐

Work may have been the thing to help you process this, and probably still is, you took all of the energy you were giving to a pair, and applying to yourself instead. The longer time goes by, the more you’re trying to release yourself from the apology you’re never going to get. At some point, you stopped even wanting it, you just want to move on, Death at the bottom, you’re done with all of it. Initially, in the past, you just intended to work away your anxiety, heartbreak, stress, and planned to wait it out. Wait for this person to change their mind, wake up, get real, come back to 10 Pentacles, they had everything. They chose otherwise and you’re now at a place of having accepted this. Even if they did, would you have them?

6 Swords can’t handle the conflict, the pain, the drama of the past anymore. This woman is packing up her child, what they have, and the heavy lessons learned into this boat and moving to calmer waters. Enough is enough. It’s clarified by King of Swords, which also comes out for them, and Death again. What’s done is done, there’s no more going back.

Their Energy:

9 Wands - Strength - King of Swords

Main Energy: The Sun

This person is waking up to their own bs, and they still watch you. Quietly. They know they hurt you. The Sun has illuminated their foolishness and toxic habits, patterns, affairs because there’s a 3rd person in the mutual energy - The Devil. What they have done is known, maybe even publicly. At least where the family is concerned, there’s no hiding that. They hide from you though 💯 They’ve tried to avoid it, tried to not face it, sit in denial and refuse to see it, but Spirit has shown them The Sun, they have no choice. 9 Wands shows them feeling wounded, guarded, defenses are up and they scramble to keep guard over their fragile ego. To them you’re Queen of Swords, the ex, and someone with cutting words that probably hit them right at their core. They’re afraid of you, because they know you’re right.

You could have children, don’t have to but that’s a repeated message. If so it’s even harder for this person because they have to face you all of the time, during custody swaps or holidays, what have you. You may insist, just to dig that sword in a little deeper, because they deserve it - Justice. I see them with someone else as well, which makes this that much harder for you. I’m not sure of the relationship between you and the new person yet, you might not even deal with them. You’re pretty emotionally detached from them, this may have happened some time ago. I don’t see you giving af about this new person, they’re moot to you, you need to talk to your coparent about report cards, scoot bitch 😆

If that doesn’t apply and there’s no communication at all, they’re afraid of what you’d even say. With Strength, I doubt you’ll give this person much pity, but it’s incredibly hard for them to watch you pull away from them. Detach. Not care anymore. 2 Cups shows they still love you, still want this, and they’re heavily burdened by what they’ve done, or who they’re involved with now. They are quietly obsessed over you and have a lot of regrets, they wish they could take back. King of Swords shows this person as very intelligent, removed from their heart space when making decisions, trying to do the right thing now, and going forward. Ace of Swords at the bottom shows they’ve seen the light 💡But they’re the ones that ended this, and now they just watch you and beat themselves up. Logic rules over their decisions & they know you’re done.

Mutual Energy/What is Mirrored:

6 Pentacles - The Hierophant rev - Queen of Pentacles

Main Energy: 3 Pentacles

What is known is regarding this 3rd party, your person’s new fling or whatever they are, could be the same one they cheated with in the first place. You both know it was their actions that caused this, they feel they’ve clarified everything you didn’t know, they’ve answered every question you could have. You both know they’re not committed to this new person, though this Queen of Pentacles has no idea of that. You know they’re waiting on you. You both also know that this same Queen has high ideals and plans for a romantic future that are not gonna happen with your person. You’ve told them to kick rocks and they became even more obsessed. There’s definitely someone else, and I don’t see reconciling in the future, but there is a mutual understanding between you, your person has made sure of that - even though they know the ball is in your court. If you wanted to reconcile, they’d prove they’re sorry. I see you headed in a whole other direction though, could be regarding your career, and it makes them sad. Maybe that other person works out, though hopefully they see through this shmoe too tbh.

Karmic Cards:

SATURN - GEMINI - 7TH HOUSE

- Be realistic about what you want to be known, diplomatically.

- Be concerned about what is believed about relationships.

- You must wait before you can use the quickest way and get a fair deal.

Messages:

You:

- I can’t STAY

- Obsessed with Work

Them:

- You’re the PERFECT person for me 😍

- Mind Games 🤯

Love Oracle:

You: CUPID’S ARROW

- Have Faith

- Love is Coming

- Surprise Invitation

- Struck by Love

Them: SUNGLASSES 🕶️

- Watching/Looking

- Perception

- Stalking

Possible Signs:

Any/all signs possible. Heavy Aquarius & Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, Leo & Scorpio

[starseed-twenty]

Things to look at [the most] for Synastry/Compatibility

Sun & Moon

The sun and the moon are very important for compatibility. In general, the sun is important in outlining a person and their identity & conscious personality, and the moon is important in interpreting a person's subconscious personality and feelings/emotions. The moon is also very important in giving a reason for a person's actions, thoughts and way of living, because it is their subconscious and it is or can be known as their soul. So how this plays a role in compatibility, is that a person's emotions and feelings show the most when they are in love and so if two people’s emotions get along well [trine, opposition, conjunction, sextile] then chances are high for them to flow on the same wavelength and feel a deep, mutual attraction for each other. It can also work very well if a person's sun is positively aspecting [trine, opposition, conjunction, sextile] the significant other's moon sign. More often than not, it actually works best when the person's sun is positively aspecting the other person's moon sign. This is because much like when we look at the sky and see that the moon is reflecting upon the sun’s light, a person's identity (sun) will shine and be able to reflect to the other person’s emotions (moon), allowing them to release their emotions easily because the other person is able to show them off consciously and with ease. So the moon illuminates best when the sun is reflecting something similar, and thus, there becomes a sense of comfortability and great compatibility.

Venus

Venus is already known as the planet of love, beauty and relationships so I won't dwell too deep, but I want to add how it can influence compatibility in a way that other planets or houses cannot. Venus is quite similar to the moon in that it deals with feelings and matters of the heart. But Venus focuses specifically on love and desires, not just any emotions. So, this means that Venus comes out the most to play when you're in love or have a desire, mainly for a person. So essentially, if two people’s Venus signs do not match positively, it can be hard for the relationship to be sustained. This is not to say that these people cannot be in a relationship and have a good relationship, however it can be a little bit hard to maintain it as the Venus signs are finding it hard to be mutually attracted to each other [because they are inconjunct or badly aspected]. Funny enough though, you will find that a lot of people or couples who have Venus in the same sign (conjunct) can be very good together, yet pretty toxic for each other. This is because this same sign is showing off both its good traits and its bad traits in this one relationship. The toxicity comes in where the other person will understand where that energy is coming from because they also have it, so they can find it hard to let go of their significant other. It is a mess, but somehow it works out most of the time because they love each other, and have deep lust and memories together.

North Node

The North node, surprisingly, plays a significant role in compatibility because it is a person's sense of direction for their life path, and ultimately where their life is going or based on until the end. More often than not though, a person will act like their South node because this is their safe space, their comfort zone, the life/way they know well. But the South node is the life you are trying to leave behind, so life will try to pull you towards your North node and try to tire you (or make you get bored) of your South node traits. So, in the compatibility sense, two people are more likely to be compatible if they have the same North node (or North nodes that positively aspect each other [trine and sextile]) because their life path or sense of direction involves the same energy or way of living while leaving behind things that are also pretty similar (opposite to their NN).

Juno

We don't talk about Juno enough for compatibility, yet it is a very, very, very important placement. Juno (in dictionary form) is the asteroid that rules of marriage and commitment. Basically, what it is really, is what you deeply and truly look for in a partner in the standard of a long-term relationship/marriage or what you would like marriage to be like. So, for example, a person with a Juno in Sagittarius would be seeking or deeply desiring a marriage or a long-term relationship that is full of fun, freedom, adventure, conversations, and thrills. If it dies down or becomes boring, they can become a bit weary and seemingly bored, and so if the significant other doesn't really keep the relationship a lil fun and free anymore then they may stray away or end it. Another example would be someone who has a Juno in Aquarius; they would look for a relationship or marriage that is quite chilled and cool, yet bizarre/unusual and out of this world and full of mentally stimulating conversations or activities. They would not want something that is boring, predictable or uninteresting, unless there is a tactical reason behind it [lool]. A person with a Juno in Taurus on the other hand probably would prefer something quite predictable and relaxed and (seemingly) boring, because they enjoy the routine and stability of it. Thus, Juno does play a big role in synastry and if you want to know whether you’re compatible with your significant other in the long run.

Houses

For houses, the 5th, 7th and 8th house play the most roles in compatibility.

The 5th house is there for the romance part and it mainly comes out at the stage where two people are still dating, getting to know each other, being playful and finding out each other's interests and whether they are compatible or not. The 7th house, as we know it, is the house of relationships and partnerships, so it's essentially how a person is when they're in a union or being together with a person one on one. So, for example, whilst a person can have a Capricorn ascendant, they do have a Cancer descendant, which can make them a bit softer in relationships. This can also mean that if they are with someone who has, for example, a Scorpio ascendant, in the real world their risings may make them both come across as powerful, respect-seeking people and this can clash for both of them because they both want the power, but their descendants then make them have a more calmer, stable, ‘homey’ and loving union, so they end up being great together. Then the 8th house plays the role of shared finances, inheritances and things to come out of a marriage (if two people end up being married). It can also rule how a person acts towards another person's possessions and habits. This is more one sided, meaning that two people’s 8th houses do not have to be compatible, but if a person wants to learn how their significant other will be in the future of their marriage or long-term relationship then they could understand that through the 8th house. Lastly, the 8th house is also known as the house of sex and intimacy, so what they enjoy or how they act during sex is influenced by their 8th house [as well as their Rising (because the rising is how you act in every aspect of your life, aka your eternal mask) and Mars (the planet of movement & action)].

[crystalsenergy]

exposing house cusps series - part 10

pic not mine

remembering that this can vary and not all natal charts will have this same "pattern". for example, i know a person who has a Taurus Rising, but who has Taurus on the cusp of another house. so, it's quite possible that it will be different for many people. if it's your case, send me an ask to talk! i'll reply as soon as possible.

click here to see if yours its a case of intercepted houses.

Ascendant in Capricorn - you are a very responsible person, more closed and that passes a certain image of someone organized and able to achieve whatever things you define for yourself. people may find you more inclined to be indifferent. you have a calmer and cooler temperament.

Aquarius in 2nd house - you tend to spend your money and material goods according to your will, which can sometimes be unpredictable and reckless. you can make money through technology or social media.

Pisces in 3rd house - your mind is very sensitive, you tend to be easily hurt by the words you hear and you want people to always be aware of it. you are creative and tend to express yourself in a more loving and caring way.

Aries in 4th house - you tend to have emotional outbursts more easily than other people. at home, you tend to be an authority and it isn't easy to give you orders.

Taurus in 5th house - your creative power lies in being artistic. one of the things that makes you the most happy is to do everything in your time, and doing something pleasurable is what amuses you.

Gemini in 6th house - your routine tends to be fickle, and you can be the type of person who is very thoughtful and who wants to learn a lot about how to deal with routine. your mind is very fast and you enjoy communicative exchanges in your routine.

Cancer in 7th house / Descendant in Cancer - you attract people with more loving personalities. deep down, you love who is most affectionate and you want people like that in your life.

Leo in 8th house - your power lies in being very charismatic and presenting yourself confidently on the outside, being able to influence people with your charm. you are fearless. you can wish a lot of people's loyalty. sex for you is demonstration and expression, something to be lived with all of your soul.

Virgo in 9th house - your relationship with beliefs, philosophies of life, religion and higher education itself is much more critical, always seeking meaning and rationality in these things.

Libra in 10th house / MC in Libra - you have very strong charisma skills in you or they must be polished in order to become something to be used in your career. you can be very interested in careers that involve beauty or justice.

Scorpio in 11th house - you can be a little bit possessive with your friendships or wish them an intense loyalty. you can be more closed to social groups, always observing others and remaining eager to integrate, waiting for the ideal moment to do so.

Sagittarius in 12th house - your experience with the immaterial and the most mystical things can be extremely profound and you can see things like astrology as a philosophy of life. you can have a more open mind to mysticism. you can seek to escape reality through travel and foreign contacts, with things outside your circle of coexistence.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Royalty AU (5) Masterlist

Links last checked: August 7th, 2024

part one, part two, part three, part four

A breath held for a thousand years (ao3) - kitkattaylor

Summary: Phil is the size of a fingernail, though if you asked his friends, they’d say he was tall. He moves with a gentle gait through the water, never causing more than a stir of grass to his side. He likes to lie atop the carpet of moss, staring up into dappled light, where the great lily pads float and form patterns and pictures. It takes a little imagination; mostly they look like lily pads.

Once, a boy fell from the sky. Sand jumped back where the body crumpled, and the fog of algae flurried. A snail passed, indifferent, and the mare’s tail and milfoils curtained around him. Phil waited, determined not to blink. He advanced slowly, and when his toes pressed into the freshly settled sand, he saw the set of wings, folded, and draining of colour, against the boy’s spine.

A Fairytale And A Half (fanfiction.net) - authortress

Summary: Prince Philip has a fairytale life, right down to the big quest to save the True Love he's never met from a witch in a big scary forest. He's never been outside the castle before, let alone a forest, so when it becomes apparent that Dan - a farm boy -knows the area, he tries to persuade him to be a guide so Phil won't die before doing whatever it was he was meant to do in there.

All Signs Point to Us (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven’t learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize that he fallen in love with the younger boy.

A Whole New World (wattpad) - CarlyanaC

Summary: Dan is a depressed prince who is being pressured to find himself a wife. Phil is an orphaned servant in the castle who finds joy in the smallest things in life. When the two are thrown together they learn to become friends and help each other through the troubles they face. It’s not long before Phil realised he may have feelings for the prince, but does he feel the same way? And even if he does, will such a relationship even be allowed?

Beauty and the Beast (ao3) - metalshootingstar

Summary: Once Upon A Time in a far away land, Prince Phil was turned into a hideous beast. The only way to restore him to his true form, was for someone to love him as he was. A few years later, a young man named Dan appears at his castle and is forced to stay only to end up falling in love with the beast.

Blessed with a Curse (ao3) - Mirian_Rodrigues Summary: A prince accidentally wrongs a wizard and is cursed so that no woman shall ever love him. Fortunately, the prince is gay and now that the wizard is a little calmer he notices that the prince is super cute.

Sparks fly, and not because of a magic spell.

Castle In The Sky - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan is the royal heir who lives in a castle above the sky, and he’s the one who runs the kingdom. Everybody is born with wings except for the royal heir. Dan feels left out and decides to finally travel to the human world for the first time, where he meets average human Phil.

first violin (ao3) - olfrogbait

Summary: Princes Dan and Phil agree to get married in order to forge a political alliance.

Forgive Me (ao3) - FollowYourDreams

Summary: The year is 2224. Dan Howell is the prince of Pacis, living in the lavish Community, dreading his 21st birthday. Phil Lester is a servant at the Community, and has been for 6 years ever since he was taken from his home. On a fateful day, Dan and Phil lock eyes for the first time, and everything changes, but neither of them know if it’s for better or worse.

holy ghost (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: A reunion between the prince and his fiancé after Phil has been in Germany.

i fall for the same face every time (ao3) - zsunsetz

Summary: In every universe, in every lifetime, in every world, he promises that he will love him.

King And Jester (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Phil has temporarily taken the crown while his older brother is stuck overseas. Dan thinks it's just like him to use this time to invite his favourite jester, wearing his tightest outfit, to the castle just because he can.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: He who plants a garden plants happiness.

In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

Not Your Type (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan has been valet to Prince Phil for ten years and has managed to keep his feelings a secret because he knows they can never be together. When the royal family throws a masquerade ball to celebrate Phil’s 25th birthday, Dan takes the opportunity to finally face Phil as an equal.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil’s heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip’s sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

snowdrops and second chances (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: A tale of the prince who set out to rid his kingdom of magic and the healing witch who found him.

The Knight (ao3) - PsychoRadiance

Summary: Prince Daniel of Arabella: second heir to the royal throne, son of King Marcus and Queen Pippin, and a massive pain in the ass. Prince Daniel's father is seeking a private protection unit for his son, but The Prince seems slightly unwilling to comply to this arrangement.

Your Crowning Glory (ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.

[anntoldst0ries]

None shall sleep (Ethan x MC)

Book: Open Heart 3, post Chapter 5 Pairing: Dr Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr Noelle Valentine) Word Count/Rating: ~1.8k, T Summary: In the privacy of the diagnostic's office, Ethan & Noelle reflect on recent changes around them. Category/Warnings: Fluff, None Trope: And there was a bit of Hurt/Comfort

A/N: This chapter reminded me of things that have never been addressed... so this is a story of how things left unsaid all collided in my head. Hope you enjoy.

Also - yes, Ethan Ramsey can sing arias. Is anyone still truly surprised by the fact that this guy can do anything?

There is something mesmerizing about watching the lights of day go out, overpowered by darkness, ablaze with colours - from the depths of blue, through indigo, navy and all the way to pitch-black.

About how, in a sense, it washes away all the bothers and allows you to start anew with the next rise of the almighty sun.

Ethan Ramsey was hoping for this exactly, maybe more than ever, but all the signs showed it wasn’t in the cards for him.

Or at least not today.

He stared into the void, interwoven by occasional human figures passing by through the front lobby. No voices of the day were able to reach him on the 7th floor of his kingdom. Behind the glass wall, he was almost in a different world.

It had been yet another day that brought him more gritted teeth, holding himself back and resigned sighs, than actual satisfaction from helping those who counted on him. All these ‘activities’ were not only annoying but also highly energy-consuming.

Bringing the index and middle fingertips to his pulsating temples, he started to compress and massage them in small circles, trying to soothe the pounding inside his skull. He could hear the blood rushing through the highways of his veins, the sound almost drowning out all external stimuli.

But there were certain sounds his expert ear was trained on, the ones he would’ve recognized even in his sleep.

Like the one reaching his ears right now, the sound of the door handle being pressed.

With his back facing the door, he couldn’t see who was trying to impose on his much-needed solitude. But since the unexpected guest did not precede their ministrations by knocking, the possibilities narrowed down significantly. There were only two people on the premises of Edenbrook who could invade his personal space without a modicum of manners.

“Can I help you?” He modulated his voice to ensure the tone was expressing two things: annoyance and irony in the otherwise polite question.

“I’m sorry.” From all the voices, this one he did not expect to hear now. A melodic tone was joined by a scuffle of retreating steps. “Do you want me to go?”

Ethan curled his lips in a tiny smile. They both knew she wasn’t apologetic and that he wanted anything but her to leave.

“No, it’s just that there are only two people in this hospital that wouldn’t bother knocking and I thought it was one of them paying me a visit.”

“Let me guess… Zaid and Baz?”

“No, but in terms of concept, you were actually close…just another type of evil ‘twins’."

“Oh, you mean his majesty King Bloom & his annoyance Dr Carrick?”

“Even as a joke, it sounds creepy and horrible.”

“Well, count me as a third now. Heads up though, I will only stop knocking after twilight.”

It was clear as crystal Ethan’s already specific sense of humor had less than ever space for amusement.

“I brought you this.” She put a brown paper bag on his desk, which immediately revealed the aroma of something delicious. “I figured you’re probably gonna stay here all night, so I thought I’ll pop over and check on you.”

He didn’t say anything, staring into the darkness. Not because he didn’t want to - he simply didn’t know what. This simple gesture was very touching and filled him with gratitude. But he was lacking the right words.

Then, for the first time since she’s interrupted his train of thought, he turned around to look at her. Tired and with puffy eyes, she’d still put everyone else to shame. Even on the worst of days, the light radiating from her turned heads and made the room brighter.

She extended a hand and when their fingers touched, he felt this weird, tingly feeling that has traveled from his palm, through his arm and neck, and then straight to his core.

Pressing him gently against the edge of the desk, she took his glasses off. Then loosened his tie and nonchalantly disheveled his hair. Ethan wouldn’t let anyone else in the world touch them, let alone put them in a state of such disarray.

With her, all the rules existed only to be broken.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on in this big brain of yours?”

“Smart move, Valentine. You’ve pacified me so that now I will have no choice but to tell you whatever you want to know.”

“You always have a choice, let’s just hope you’re gonna make the right one.”

Ethan nodded, no sound escaping his lips. She knew she’d have to take it upon herself to get any information out of her stubborn converser.

“So, how are you holding up? I want an honest answer."

“I’ve been better.”

“I thought so.”

“It’s just that… Tobias is driving me crazy. His presence really tests my patience… I don’t know if I would’ve stopped myself from punching him had it not been for you.”

“Why thank you, I didn’t know my therapeutic services were that good.”

“They are.” Ethan cleared his throat. “But it’s… not just that.”

Dead silence lingered between them and he knew he had no other choice but to continue.

“The only reason why I haven’t wiped this ridiculous smirk off his face yet is that whenever I look at him, I… I see you in that room with Travis. I’m trying to remind myself that, as much as I hate to admit it, he was crucial to finding the cure on such short notice.”

“Ethan…”

“I already told you” - he interrupted her as if not to stop the words from flowing, afraid they may be trapped forever otherwise - “that there was so much more at stake last time Tobias set foot in Edenbrook.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes going slightly wider.

“The truth is, for me… everything was at stake. I would’ve done anything he’d asked me to, I’d have forgiven him if it meant saving you.”

Elle turned still, all her body movements, her breathing and even her blinking ceased.

It was one of those moments that mean so much but leave you with so little to say.

Using the power of non-verbal communication and their deep affinity, she bestowed on him the most gentle, loving and grateful expression her face could muster after yet another exhausting shift.

Ethan extended his arm and before she realized it, her back was gently pressed to the older doctor’s chest. Having wrapped her slender frame with his broad shoulders, Elle inhaled his familiar aroma. He smelled of comfort and felt like a safe harbor. He nudged her hair with his nose and placed a featherlight kiss on the crook of her neck. She smelled of calmness and felt like coming back home from a long journey.

“So,” - he murmured directly into her ear - “whether you like it or not, I am using you to soften the blow every time I look at Tobias’ face.”

“I think I can live with that.”

“But I can’t guarantee it will always be enough, he is a cocky son of a bitch.”

“Let's make a deal then. I see how much it costs you and I’m not telling you to trust Leland or forgive Tobias, I still believe you should be cautious. Let’s just wait and see where this goes, I think we’ll know sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we should focus on what matters the most, our patients.”

“Where is the deal part?”

“If it turns out you were right, I will hold Tobias and you will punch him. Deal?”

“I believe it should be the other way round. Declan Nash’s face told me your right hook is exquisite, Rookie.”

They both laughed at the memory which seemed so distant now, almost as if it's happened in another lifetime.

But Ethan went quiet again and she felt his body tense up, his arms tightening gently around her. It wasn’t very obvious, but she knew. It still came as a shock how well she actually knew him.

“Ethan? What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Ethan.”

“I’m sorry, I am not the most cheery companion today. You’re probably better off not spending too much time with me before you turn into a cynic.”

“Dr Ramsey, what a pathetic attempt of trying to get rid of me. You’ve never been the most cheerful type and I’ve survived your gloomy companionship, hell, I think it grew on me over time. So I should be ok today, too.”

It looked like silence was very much their third companion today.

“I’m thinking about Francis.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I’m thinking about how hard it would be not to see. So many beautiful things, colors, all turning into nothingness.”

“I take it you mean the opera?”

“That too, but let’s just say I’ve learned to appreciate things that are right in front of my nose… literally and figuratively.”

The butterflies started somersaulting in her stomach.

“I didn’t want to add more to your plate at the time, but I’ve already felt this way… when we diagnosed Caroline and Leland.”

It was funny that, despite his obvious animosity towards Bloom, whenever his wife was in the picture, he spoke about both in an almost affectionate way. His doctor’s instincts were kicking in, because first and foremost he was a doctor who had his patients’ best interest at heart.

“The thought of not being able to touch you…it reminded me of touching you through the layer of hazmat suit. And now with everything Francis has been through, I just can’t be bothered to think about anything else but you. This is my true personal connection to this case.”

It was her turn to be speechless.

Ethan tightened his grip over her once again, this time protectively rather than out of stress. Slow hum started filling the air, the melody soon joined by lyrics, which he sang in fluent Italian; a private concert, performed for her and her only.

Tu pure, oh Principessa

Nella tua fredda stanza

Guardi le stelle

Che tremano d'amore

E di speranza**

She remembered their patient’s face, which seemed calmer once Ethan started singing the aria before the depths of illness contorted it with pain.

Francis' husband's words echoed throughout her head.

Even though the man holding her in his arms didn’t say it, there was no need.

She knew.

He will always be here.

And she will always be here, too.

-----

** Lyrics - aria "Nessun Dorma" (‘None shall sleep’) from the opera "Turandot".

Translation:

Even you, oh Princess,

In your cold room,

Watch the stars,

That tremble with love

And with hope.

Tag 🔖 list: @starrystarrytrouble @genevievemd @sophxwithers @maurine07 @lovingramsey @iemcpbchoices @oldminniemcg @schnitzelbutterfingers @archxxronrookie @jamespotterthefirst @the-pale-goddess @queencarb @fireycookie @qrkowna @coffeeheartaddict @utterlyinevitable @gryffindordaughterofathena @xxsugarplumfluffsxx @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @mrs-ramsey @tsrookie @fayeswiftie @mercury84choices @lisha1valecha @lucy-268 @stateofgracious @danijimenezv @alina-yol-ramsey

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[windstormwielding]

{ ooc } Recent trends show that people are very receptive to big, scary, beefy mommies™... so why not come meet the fine lady who raised Kō-boy here? Hadn’t had much of a proper image for her until recently, but then a bunch of things just clicked and fell into place!

I’ll repost all of the below for her own page on the blog at some point, and might soon open her up for interactions as a proper side/request-only muse like Hai’iro Ranmaru. For now though, here’s the rundown! History, abilities, you name it, it’s down there!

–––––––––––––––––

Profile: Ryōhei Yumiko

Name: Ryōhei Yumiko (亮平 由美子)

Birthday: June 26

Race: Soul

Gender: Female

Height: 185.4cm (6′1″)

Weight: 86kg (190 lbs)

Relatives: Ryōhei Kōtarō (Adoptive son)

Previous Profession: Shinigami

Previous Affiliation: Gotei 13, 11th Division

Previous Position: Lieutenant

Theme Song: “Battle Against a True Hero (UNDERTALE OST)” by Toby Fox

— Appearance —

Yumiko is a middle-aged woman with an imposingly broad and burly figure. Her face, while still retaining some youthful beauty to it, is partially disfigured from an accident with her zanpakutō early in her career. Many scars adorn her muscular form from head to toe, gained throughout her time as a battle-hardened soul reaper of the 11th Division. Her hair is auburn red with hints of greying in the present, usually kept long down her back and tied in a ponytail, and her eye colour is hazel.

She is often seen wearing an amigasa and a frayed, dull green kimono to better blend into the foliage, albeit the fabric is bloodstained. In her younger years, she wore a shihakushō, but customized her look into that of a sukeban-style delinquent: she wore her kosode open over her shoulders, tied to her upper body with a red ribbon; she tore off her shitagi sleeves to bare her arms; her Lieutenant’s badge was worn around her left bicep.

(Present Day Faceclaim: Balalaika of Black Lagoon)

— Personality —

Years ago, Yumiko was a foul-tempered spitfire who assisted in keeping the sorry louts of the 11th in line. Strength meant authority within those walls, and there were really only two within the Division who could challenge her might, but she was never one to lord her position over others. Diligent as can be, she often took initiative for leading combat drills to keep her subordinates’ skills sharp. As a member of the 11th, she was a fiercely determined fighter who also relished in the thrills of combat, often using brute force to get the job done, and let her hair down whenever parties were held and drinks flowed. Though she and 3rd Seat Kuruyashiki often butted heads over trivial matters to the point of trading blows, she genuinely respected his strength and character deep down.

While she grew calmer and humbled when she effectively retired, she still holds no patience for any who seeks to do harm unto others weaker than themselves. Yumiko always had a weakness for children, despite the fact that her appearance tend to terrify many, to her dismay. To make up for this, she starkly changes her demeanour into a far more doting personality, sometimes accompanied by a familiar dopey grin that Kōtarō would inherit. She was fiercely protective of him growing up, and, true to her 11th Division training, killed those who dared to threaten her boy’s life without batting an eye or losing sleep.

— History —

In her heyday, up to 410 years before the present, Ryōhei Yumiko lived as a Gotei 13 shinigami, serving as the Lieutenant of the 11th Division. She fit right into the mold of a squad full of melee combatants and was a master with a blade, living and breathing by the three B’s: brawls, bloodshed, and booze. The many scars she accrued over the course of her lifetime each stood as a testament for her love of fighting, as these only grew in number the higher she rose up the ranks.

Unfortunately, her career was cut short come a terrible incident with her Captain. In a bid to further his own swordsmanship as the 6th Kenpachi, Captain Baishin attempted to merge with his own zanpakutō. This fusion, though successful, turned out to be one-way and took a debilitating toll on his mind, causing Kenpachi Baishin to go on a killing rampage that claimed the lives of over 60 seated officers across the Seireitei, including Lieutenants (OVA: The Sealed Sword Frenzy).

Yumiko nearly lost her life in the assault. While she survived, her saketsu and hakusui were pierced during the battle while she burned through her reiryoku. She awoke to several changes in the Gotei 13, chief among them being: her powers have effectively disappeared forever; Kuruyashiki, her 3rd Seat in the 11th, rose to the occasion and donned the Captain’s haori as the 7th Kenpachi during the crisis; and Baishin fled to the world of the living before being sealed away by Kuruyashiki and five other Captains, with two of them not returning home.

Not wanting to sit around for a pity party as she can no longer work within the Seireitei, Yumiko simply left and returned home in North Rukongai. Though her soul reaper powers are gone and she can no longer hear the voice of her zanpakutō, she still had both her fearsome physical strength and her incredible skill with a sword, just as how she always lived and liked it. She never raised her blade against innocent civilians, but many thugs in their attempts to cross her over the years lost their lives.

Around 270 years before the present, Yumiko found a toddler in the thickets of Kusajishi, just passed on from the world of the living. Disgusted that her former comrades would leave him to die within one of the worst districts for a child to be in, she sought to foster him and take him up to some family in a better-off district closer towards the Seireitei. However, she quickly found herself endeared to him when she realized he wasn’t scared of her at all, clinging to her with not one scream of fear or protest at the sight of her. She then decided to take him in as her son and gave him a name of his own: Ryōhei Kōtarō (亮平 康太郎).

Yumiko doted on and sheltered the boy as best she could over the years. Putting her years of fighting experience to use, she strove to teach her son the way of the sword. This was not only so that he may stand an actual chance by himself in the sticks of the Soul Society, but because she knew from his persisting hunger that one day soon, Kōtarō too might follow in her footsteps as a shinigami.

After he finally left for the Academy, she took to wandering the Soul Society proper, but would still come back to Kusajishi on the occasion he should ever visit.

— Powers & Abilities —

Expert Swordsman: As a Lieutenant of the 11th Division, Yumiko's talent in Zanjutsu was almost unrivalled back in her prime. Though her skills dulled with time and little worthy foes to fight out in the boonies, she still managed to garner a menacing reputation that kept her feared by many in North Rukongai. She passed on much of her knowledge in the combat art down to her son, who later became a worthy swordsman in his own right.

Expert Hand-to-Hand Combatant: Yumiko supplemented her swordsmanship with grappling, throws, and boxing, where her larger size and superior strength come into play. In the past, she often resorted to fighting with her bare fists while her active Shikai was locked into its sheath.

Enhanced Strength, Endurance, & Durability: Kōtarō looks up to Yumiko and calls her the strongest woman he knows; that’s not just him being cute, as he means that quite literally. She built up much of her strength over her long tenure as a shinigami in the most combat-intensive Division of them all, capable of lifting and cleaving boulders that are heavier and larger than herself with relative ease. Her body proved resilient enough to not only survive attacks from a crazed Baishin-zanpakutō fusion, while other seated officers in her position—including fellow Lieutenants—perished, but hold him off solo for some time despite her wounds and failing powers.

— Former Powers & Abilities —

Great Spiritual Power: As a former Lieutenant of the Gotei 13, Yumiko once possessed a considerable amount of reiryoku. Her reiatsu was coloured light blue, and her exerting her spiritual pressure made the surrounding area more humid.

Kidō Practitioner: Having attended Shin’ō Academy, Yumiko proved to have little aptitude for magic. The loss of her powers only took away what little capability for Kidō she had.

Shunpō Expert: Yumiko was surprisingly agile for her bulk and quite fast among her peers, able to keep pace with her old Captain who was himself well-versed in Hohō. While she now lacks the power to use such techniques, she still retains some valuable footwork lessons and continues to apply them toward her swordplay.

Zanpakutō: Yūgiri (夕霧, Evening Mist) resembles a normal katana in its sealed state, with a grey hilt and raindrop-shaped tsuba, and its scabbard came with a clip that kept the blade notched. Though Yumiko can no longer call on its power, she took her blade with her nonetheless when she absconded from the Seireitei, and concealed its distinct appearance by binding its hilt and tsuba in cloth. Yūgiri hangs by her hip. Its release command was “Billow!” (畝れ! Unere!).

Shikai: When transformed, Yūgiri’s blade hollowed out with small holes dotted along its length, gathering moisture from the surrounding area to empower its steel with super-heated steam and scald her enemies. Yumiko used the mist as a smokescreen, and often sheathed her active weapon to compress and build up power within its scabbard for mortal draw techniques, such as steam blades.   Yūgiri’s signature technique, Jyōki Bakusatsu (蒸汽爆炸, Steam Eruption) was the end result of storing up so much pressure, that it creates a steam explosion with extreme heat and force from the sheath once her blade is drawn. The first time Yumiko used this move proved reckless, resulting in the facial burn injury.  

Bankai: Not achieved.

[okskz]

The Call.

Vani + Monsta X

vani is wondering why her family hasn’t picked up her calls or as to why they didn’t show up for her debut stage, only to get heartbreaking news after her performance.

takes place when monsta x debut, needed to sprinkle in some angst. hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

tw: death

[7th Member of Monsta X]

Vani sighed, staring at her phone once again. In a couple of minutes, the group was about to officially be on their debut stage. It was one of Vani’s important moments, and she wondered why her family wasn’t answering any of her calls to make sure they were there. They promised her they were going to make it, but now she was having her doubts.

“Still no answer?” Shownu questioned.

Vani shook her head. “Still haven’t gotten an answer. I’m a little worried. This is very unlike them. I mean, my father I guess I can understand. But the rest of them, it’s a little odd.”

“Don’t worry about it too much. They’ll answer or call you soon.” Kihyun said, patting her shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Vani sighed once more.

“Monsta X to the stage.” Their manager called out.

“Woo! This is it!” Jooheon clapped.

All of the members made their way to the stage. This was it, their debut stage. Vani felt nervous but also excited at the same time. She only hoped her family was in the crowd cheering her on.

When the group got the ok to get on the stage they went right into position. Vani looked at the audience, all of them were cheering. And from looking at the lights, it was difficult to find her family.

Vani shook that focus out of her once the music began. She didn’t want her mind messing her up in the performance, she knew she would see her family after if they did show up.

She was living her dream and she didn’t want to mess up already.

Vani performed smoothly and when the song was over, she still felt the adrenaline go through her. And when she got off the stage, the girl couldn’t stop jumping around. “Oh my god, that was awesome!” She cheered, jumping on Jooheon’s back.

Vani felt nothing but happiness at the moment, even after performing she still had much energy left and the boys could see it too.

Jooheon carried Vani on her back all the way back to their dressing room where he gently placed her down. After a could of minutes that passed by, some of the member’s family were coming inside to congratulate everyone.

Vani felt a little left out, when more time had passed by and still not one of her family members showed up. She even checked her phone to see if there were any missed calls and nothing had popped up. Sighing a little, she placed her phone in her back pocket, feeling Shownu pat her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Vani said. “I’m just a little disappointed that my family didn’t show up. Or haven’t even reached out.”

“I’m sure they will.”

“I hope so.” Vani sighed once more. She still tried her best to stay positive, knowing her family probably had a good explanation as to why they didn’t show up to one of her most important night.

After all of the family members had left, it was now the group there, getting dressed to head out.

And that was when Vani’s phone finally began to ring.

“Hello?” She answered. It was her sister calling. All the attention was on Vani now as she spoke on the phone with her.

“Vanessa.” Her sister said. Vani right away realized something was wrong with the way her sister addressed her. “I know you’re probably upset with us that we’re not there.”

“I mean I am a little. I just want to know why?”

“Well It’s because.” Her sister began but then paused to let out a big sob through the phone, causing Vani to panic a little as to why her sister began crying. “Mother passed away.”

Vani stared at whatever was in front of her, not making a sound or move. Her sister’s words kept replaying in her head but she couldn’t quite comprehend it. “W-what?”

Her sister continued to cry as she repeated the words to Vani. “Mother, she passed away.”

Vani felt her stomach drop as her lip began to quiver. She shook her head as she couldn’t believe it. No, this couldn’t be happening. “Please tell me this isn’t true.”

All the boys became concerned once seeing Vani’s voice began cracking and her eyes get watery. The girl was also shaking. But they didn’t dare to ask what was happening yet.

Vani’s sister cried some more. “I’m sorry, Vani but it is.”

“How?” Vani said, voice choking up. “How did this happen?”

“It was so sudden and it happened out of nowhere.” Her sister answered. “We were on our way to see you when she said she couldn’t breathe properly, so dad took her to the hospital instead. And-“ Vani’s sister paused for a second, letting out a cry before she could finish her sentence. “When she was in the hospital bed, she took one last breath before passing away.” She cried.

Vani fell to the ground as she began sobbing loudly. This caused Kihyun to rush to her. He didn’t know what was going on but he was trying his hardest to calm Vani down by smoothing her back. The girl was screaming no, shaking, and of course sobbing her eyes out. Her special day turned into her worst day ever. She lost her mother, her one true supporter.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me?!” She cried. “I could have gone seen her.”

“She didn’t want you to worry. She knew how much this day meant to you so she wanted you to be there for your special day.”

The two girls began crying over the phone, both not saying a word to each other. Vani shut her eyes, the tears coming down her face. She grabbed onto Kihyun’s arm for support and he let the girl cry on his shoulder. Jooheon went and grabbed some tissues for her in which she softly thanked him. The rest of the boys looked at Vani with sad eyes, as well as wondering what happened to make Vani so upset.

“We still saw you on stage though. On tv.” Vani’s sister said, calming down for a bit.

“Did she see me too?” Vani questioned.

“Yes.

Vani’s lip quivered once again. The thought of her mother watching her perform for the first time before passing made her more upset.

“She said how proud she is of you and will always be proud of you, Vanessa.” Her sister continued. “Those were her last words.”

Vani began crying ever harder. She felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. Everything was getting to her. She just couldn’t believe it that her mother was gone.

The two talked for a bit more before Vani hung up the phone, having to leave soon to go back to the dorms. “I’ll see you soon.” She said lastly, then hung up.

Vani dropped her phone to the ground before hugging onto Kihyun tightly. He rubbed on her back to calm her down once more as she wiped her tears with a tissue. She knew the boys were wondering what was going so right after she was a bit calmer, Vani explained what happened.

“My mother passed away.”

Everyone grew silent from the news she dropped. Changkyun quickly rushed to Vani’s side to hug her. Hyungwon grabbed a bottle of water for her in which she accepted it.

Vani may have not known the boys fully yet but she appreciated them for being there for her at the moment, helping her out.

[elistra]

The Basics-  

species: Siren affiliation: She aligns herself with neither Assyria or any siren captain. She instead only aligns herself with the goddess of the sea.  character name: Elistra  age & birthdate: 44, born May 7th gender & pronouns: Her gender is ambiguous and undefined and will likely stay that way. Her pronouns are she/her.  birthplace: Caribbean Sea  length of time in port vale: Six years occupation: Administrative assistant at Beacon Chapel  fc: Natasha Liu Bordizzo

History- 

THE OCEAN

When the storm hit and the ocean roiled with anger, Elistra was certain at that moment that she had never felt anything as much as she felt the fear of death. She had been on the outskirts of her captain’s territory, as she usually was when a watchful eye wasn’t placed on her, and now she was paying a much heavier cost than encountering enemy mermaids who would want her to bow to their authority. Blindly, she dove for the bottom of the sea, where she hoped the currents would be calmer, and hid in a shallow cave to wait out the storm. But when she got there, what she did not expect to find was another lost soul, eyes as wide and fearful as her own. A mermaid, but not, at this moment, an enemy. 

A ship passing overhead poured its wreckage into the waves only moments later. The heavy debris crashed into the opening of the cave, trapping both Elistra and the mermaid in a horrible display of gravity. After an hour of trying to break through the rubble and debris, they grew exhausted, and in her exhaustion, the mermaid began to pray. She prayed to her goddess, the one who had gifted the mermaids their seven kingdoms before the sirens came along to carve out territories for themselves. Elistra listened to the mermaid for another hour, and listened to the silence she received in response. The other sirens always told her that she lacked anger, that she lacked the ruthlessness needed for a killing blow, but in that exact instant, Elistra felt something more powerful than anger. She felt righteous defiance. 

Closing her eyes, she matched the mermaid’s prayers, said them with as much vigor and determination as she could muster. The goddess would listen to her. The goddess would tell her what she wanted to know. And after a long moment of only further silence, finally, their prayers seemed answered. The mermaid’s companions had come looking for her. They were saved. The rocks and debris were loosened and they were free. 

But if Elistra had hoped that she could find a place with the mermaids that she could not find with the sirens, she was wrong. She was met with disdain from the mermaids that matched in vitriol with the pity and disappointment she found in her fellow sirens’ eyes. So, disillusioned with both, Elistra swam away from the Caribbean sea, hoping to find a place where her prayers could reach the ocean goddess’s ears.  

ON LAND

With only one place to go, Elistra went where she’d been warned never to venture by the elder sirens. She went ashore. She grew legs, stole clothes, and learned to mimic the way the humans greeted one another. Port Vale was a strange place, one of wonder and curiosity, but also one of strange stares and dangerous glances. Elistra knew she couldn’t let herself be revealed or else be turned to sea foam, but what else was she to do? She wandered on new legs to an old stone building on a winding path and collapsed like an abandoned doll on the doorstep. She hadn’t meant to stay long, but when an elderly man and his young granddaughter welcomed her inside and fed her, she realized it was the most kindness she’d ever been shown in her life. 

The pair never questioned where she came from or why she knew so little about the world. At first Elistra tried to remain quiet to avoid suspicion, but after a while, she observed the pair accommodating her, as if they knew that she was too afraid to ask for help on her own.  Elistra learned that the building she was staying at was a chapel, and it was a place where one prayed to god. This, of course, was not the deity she wanted to listen to her, yet it seemed like a sign nonetheless. 

Elistra stayed in Port Vale for a year, learning and growing and praying in the chapel. On her year anniversary of living in the town, she made a vow, like she had read some priests did. Elistra would not go back into the water until she was welcomed within it. Until the goddess answered her, until her worth was acknowledged, she would not be a siren or a mermaid. She would be something else, something new. 

After a few years, the priest’s granddaughter went off to college and left Elistra with all her tasks, which Elistra gladly accepted. Now she cares for the priest that took her in, as well as manages the upkeep and administration of the small chapel. She digitizes old records and goes into town for groceries. And at night, she prays. 

But with the arrival of mermaids and sirens and other more mysterious beings on Port Vale’s shore, Elistra’s happy haven is threatening to be torn to pieces. As she tries to prove her worth to a distant goddess, she now finds herself also wanting to prove herself to those that had previously rejected her. 

PERSONALITY 

Elistra is a very stubborn and hard-headed person, especially now. She is single-minded and goal orientated. She spent enough time when she was younger being told who she was or how she should behave because of nothing more than the chance of fate that was her birth. Now she fights back against those beliefs with a vigor and righteousness that rivals other sirens’ rumored brutality and ruthlessness. She hates the binary of mermaid and siren, hates that the ocean can be so many things at once, and she is expected to only be one thing: evil, a scourge, a disease, a conquering force to be reckoned with. Above anything else, she wants to prove not only to the goddess of the ocean, but also to sirens and mermaids alike that she is good enough. Has always been good enough. Consequently, she is aggressively helpful, sometimes to the annoyance of others. 

CONNECTIONS

General Connection Ideas:

The mermaid Elistra met who changed everything for her. Whether she cares for Elistra or thinks of the night they met bitteraly, Elistra will always owe something to the mermaid who first showed her how to pray to something larger than herself. They went through something harrowing together and survived and so that ties them together somehow, and Elistra isn’t willing to let the other mermaid forget it once they meet again.

A siren from the Caribbean sea, either a friend or an enemy. Elistra disappeared on the night she was caught in the storm and probably assumes the other sirens think she died. This siren might also have thought that until they saw Elistra working at a tiny church in a port town, acting as human as if she were born one. The reappearance of someone Elistra knew will frighten her and challenge her place in Port Vale, which is not something she’s willing to give up without a fight. 

A human she wants to tell everything to. Living for half a decade in a place has lowered Elistra’s defenses. She’s questioned so much about the fundamental truths she was taught about what it is to be a siren and what it is to be a mermaid. Will she really turn to sea foam the moment someone knows what she is? That doesn’t seem fair. But for this person, for such a dear friend, she sometimes weighs the risk in her mind. 

[swellwriting]

Mistakes that Make and Break.

Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauders Era

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Mature themes?? Nothing major. Angst and immense fluffy sweetness.

Request: Remus doesn't know he has a 7th-year daughter until he teaches her?

Word Count: 4.4 k

A/N: Timelines and ages don't really make sense but let's bend the rules ok, this is the land of pretend. Also, I'm changing the year to 3 instead of 7 :))) This has been sitting in my WIP’s folder so I guess I should just post it lol.

Remus Lupin is not an easy man to find. After his friends died he sort of went into isolation, he wouldn't see anyone not even you.

You weren't even sure if he remembered what had happened, if he didn't care, or was purposefully avoiding you.

It was the night of Halloween, the same night Lily and James were killed. Maybe he blamed you and that's why he ignored you for that first while and then became totally unreachable for years. 

But that night, seemed a blur, a tragic terrible and happy accident all rolled into one. You were at their Halloween party, you got drunk, told too many truths, lost your ability to stop yourself from staring at Remus the way you were. He was drunk, so were you, both dumb virgins, or so you thought, you weren't too sure anymore if he had lied.

He took you to his house, it was small and poorly but you didn't care in the slightest, he would usually be ashamed but he was too drunk to care and you were taking off your clothes in his bedroom so he was purely focused on that. He was all clumsy hands and toothy grins, messy curls in his face and too drunk to even care about you seeing his scars. He was considerate and sweet and funny and he filled you with so much hope with every sweet compliment he whispered in your ear.

You fell asleep shortly after, both drunk and tired, when you woke up Remus was gone and you had lunch plans with Lily so you had to go home and change, you were so excited to gush to her about Remus. You worried that it was weird that he left you alone in his house, but maybe he had somewhere important to be. 

It wasn't until you apparated home that you heard the news, so many of the people you saw the night before were now dead, Lily, James and Peter, and Sirius was behind it all. You remembered taking shots with him that night, a sour taste fills your mouth and you quickly ran to the bathroom just in time.

It was easy to blame it on the drinking, the loss and sadness you were facing, that's why you felt so sick, for over a week. Then you blamed it on heartbreak when Remus kept ignoring you, avoiding you. You felt so alone, unwanted. When your period never came the following week you sort of saw it coming. It was like life was trying to make this horrible loss of your friends even worse. Making you pregnant by a man who won’t even acknowledge your existence or what happened between you. Your best friend was dead and you couldn't confide in her for help or advice. 

You were alone, 9 months later your daughter was born and then you didn't feel so lonely anymore. You sent an owl out for Remus every month for the first few years, but you had no idea where he really was so they kept coming back. 

You still thought about him all the time, the way he left you, broke you. You still hoped one-day he’d come back, that he wasn't dead somewhere waiting to be found.

Raising your daughter all alone was hard, you had your parents to help you but for most things, you were on your own. It became much harder when you found out your daughter had a specific gene passed down to her, one you didn't even know Remus had and one you had no experience with. When you found out you felt like nothing could get any worse, you didn't want to report your daughter to the ministry, you wanted her to live a free and happy life as best she could. You bought wolfsbane potion each month and even confided in the last person you wanted to talk to. 

You wrote a letter to Sirius Black, you started by saying that you had no desire to talk to him, to know how he is or to hear his excuses but that you needed help. You told him what happened between you and Remus, about your daughter, and ever so secretly about her “unruly attitude” that was exactly like Remus “problem” and asked him how he dealt with that in the past, or if he even knew enough to understand what you were really talking about behind these codewords.

Sirius was quick to write back, somehow he was easier to reach in Azkaban than Remus was, where ever he might be, Sirius told you every trick he learned over the years to helping Remus and they all helped magnificently, the tips and tricks, the chocolate. When she was young she was easy to control but as she got older she became stronger, you loathed sending her away to Hogwarts when the day finally came. After making plans with Dumbledore, thanking him profusely for everything you mind was a little calmer.

Everything was going fine, as smoothly as possible until your daughter's third year. Even though you cried back in the first year when she told you she finally met Harry potter and he was so cool and nice and she definitely didn't have a crush on him. You told her all about him as a baby, his parents and the memories, but made sure to leave Remus out of them until she was older at least.

You had named your daughter Hope, after Remus’ mother, you had no idea what else to name her and you hoped that if he ever found out about her, this would make him want to meet her more, love her more somehow.

-

Hope couldn't help her crush on Harry, so when she saw him walking towards the Defence against the Dark arts classroom she walked up beside him.

“Hey, Harry!” She said excitedly, she wanted to tell him everything you told her this summer about his parents and him. “Hi Hope, how are you?” He asked, though his mind seemed to be somewhere else.

“Good, have a good summer, Harry?” She asked sweetly.

“Not particularly,” he answers and then stops right in front of the dark arts classroom, Lupin is standing inside, watching from his desk as the two students interact at his door.

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Not your fault,” he answers quickly, “I have to go talk to Professor Lupin if you don’t mind,” he says and walks into the classroom.

“If you want me to cheer you up, my mum told me more stories about you, when you were a baby and about your parents,” she says and Remus wasn't really listening to their conversation until then, his head perks up.

“Maybe later, I've just-” Harry tries to make up an excuse but Remus is interested in what the young girl has to say.

“No rush Harry, there is time for a story. I’d like to hear it too,” he says and gestures for the girl to come over to his desk.

Something about her face is too familiar, though he knows he's never seen her before, she has a few faint scars on her cheek and forehead, brown messy hair, she’s lanky but still shorter than Harry.

“Hello, Mr. Lupin.” She says timidly, and he smiles at her, “I'm Hope.”

He nods his head as for her to continue and she does right away very excited.

“My mum says she was there when you were born and you were really tiny, so tiny that your dad was scared to hold you. And she says your dad was a really good Quiddich player, but you probably knew that because you're really good too. She says your dad once threw a quaffle and hit her right in the face and it was really funny because he felt really bad.”

The pieces started to fall together for him, clicking in his mind. The more she talked the more it clicked into place.

“Hope, who exactly is your mother,” he asks, as though he doesn't want to believe it.

“Uhm her name is Y/n Y/l/n, why Mr. Lupin?” She asks, completely unknowing.

“She is your mother?” He asks again as though he can't believe it.

“You knew her too, I mean if she knew my parents, and you knew my parents it makes sense?” Harry questions.

“I... I did,” he admits and he looks white as a ghost, both kids stare at him, wondering why he is acting so strange.

He is racking his brain, he hadn't seen you since that night at his place, when he left you there, the way he avoided you and ignored you. He tried to do the math in his head but his brain wasn’t working, who the hell could this girls father have been, he couldn't picture you being with anyone, for as long as he knew you, you only had a crush on him and then he ruined it. Did you move on that quickly? He shouldn't ask, it’s improper to but he can't help himself.

“Hope, dear may I ask who your father is?” Remus asks quietly and Harry is beyond confused at this entire interaction.

Her face goes pale, her bottom lip goes in between her teeth as she bites hard, her eyes travel between Remus and Harry before she quietly mumbles, “I don't know, sir.” and hearing those words makes his heart stops. 

He stares at her for a moment, she has his messy hair, the same damned nose, similar scars decorating her face and he feels like throwing up. His head is spinning and he doesn't know what he is going to do. “Very well,” he manages to say. “Uhm Harry I'm rather sorry but I’ll have to talk to you later I have a lot of papers to grade, so if you don't mind,” he says and points a shaky hand towards the door.

“Okay,” Harry says and Hope follows him out the door like a puppy, they quickly fall into a much more normal conversation.

He isn't sure what to do with himself. He suddenly is filled with regret and self-hatred. He left you the way he did, with no explanation, he wasn't there for you after he lied to you, made you think that he wanted you, which he did but then everything changed. He ignored you, he thought you were just in love with him or something, feelings he couldn't process but in reality, you were simply just trying to tell him that you were pregnant. He left you alone to deal with the grief of such a great loss and then alone to raise your child. He missed out on so much of her life, he wasn't sure she would even want him anymore.

Then he remembered the scars and it hits him. Not only did he have a child he didn't know about but he had also passed down lycanthropy to her, he left you alone to deal with a child that had the rotten luck of getting his stupid gene. You who didn’t even know Remus was a werewolf, who didn’t know what you were signing up for with one stupid mistake of one night. 

His heart felt as though it was snapping into a million pieces, her little happy smile replayed in his mind, the way she looked up at Harry like she admired him so much made his heart hurt too, the way she talked about her mom, talked about you.

-

You hadn't known Remus had been teaching at Hogwarts, your daughter wasn't assigned to his class and you didn't often read a list of the entire faculty of Hogwarts in your spare time. When your daughter started at Hogwarts you moved to the village of Hogsmead, this meant your daughter was never too far if she needed you, and you could easily visit her with the help of Dumbledore.

Tomorrow was the first Hogsmead visit of the year, your daughter would always come by the house with her friends and you had baked cookies expecting their arrival the next day.

-

Remus, after throwing up three times, and drowning in self-pity and regret, made his way to Dumbledores office keeping his head down to hide his sickly face and red eyes.

Dumbledore let him in quickly, with a knowing look on his face.

“You knew didn't you?” Remus said, not angry-sounding just looking for answers.

“Knew what Professor Lupin?”

“You knew I had a daughter, you knew she was here and you didn't tell me.”

“It was not my place to intrude. I knew you had a daughter, yes, but I only knew so much as Y/n told me.”

“What did she tell you? I haven't seen her in years since James and Lily died. I had no idea.”

“She came to me when Hope was starting her first year, she told me she hadn't seen you in years, couldn't get ahold of you no matter how hard she tried. She said she resorted to writing to Sirius for advice, and Sirius had told her to come to me for help just as I helped you when you started at Hogwarts.”

“She went to Sirius for help? How could she?”

“She didn't have another option, everyone she knew was dead and she couldn't find you.”

“I didn't know,” Remus says more to reassure himself.

“It wasn't my place to tell you about a child you had no idea about, I didn't know why you were avoiding her.”

“That's what you were hinting at, back at the beginning of this year wasn’t it.”

“Yes.”

“I thought you just meant Harry when you mentioned an “interesting student”, I didn't know. And she's like me and, I feel so guilty I don't even know how to tell Y/n, how to apologize I'm scared she will hate me.”

“There is a trip to Hogsmeade tomorrow.” Dumbledore states.

“And?” Remus asks confused.

“She moved there when Hope started school, so she could be closer. As far as I know, she never moved on. And she is one of the kindest people I've ever met, more forgiving than most. Be honest with her, I'm sure she will listen but don't tell Hope anything until you have spoken to Y/n, it's her decision if you get to be a bigger part of Hope’s life.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Remus says as he nods his head thinking deeply, “thank you.”

“Oh and Remus, “ Dumbledore starts and Remus stops walking and turns back, “I’d keep an eye on Potter.”

“You think I'm going to just forget about him because of all of this?” Remus asks, offended.

“Not at all, I was merely telling you to keep an eye out for Harry and Hope, she seems to have as some would say, a schoolgirl crush.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Remus curses as he walks out the door, head in his hands.

Remus goes to his room, he showers, nerves filling every inch of his skin until he resorts to sitting on the bottom of the tub and letting the hot water turned cold fall on his head, it isn't long until the water is mixed with salty tears. He is overcome with fear and shame and he brings his knees to his chest, hiding his face as he cries and cries, ribs shaking as he squeezes his arms leaving crescent moon marks in his fingers wake.

He tries to sleep but he can't, he feels so bad about Hope, about abandoning her for all these years, about abandoning you and he is so scared to face you.

-

When the time to leave for Hogsmeade comes around he tries to avoid everyone, not wanting to be asked why he suddenly has an interest in travelling to the small village. 

The ride seems longer than usual and Remus pulls his thick sweater over his hands to keep them warm. He goes to the house Dumbledore directed him to and stands for a good five minutes at the front door before knocking, he wants to make sure he gets there before Hope does.

You have the cookies ready and you’re surprised to hear the door so early but excited to see your daughter none the less. When you open the door the last person you expect to see is standing there looking like a scared child.

“Y/n,” he says like the word is foreign in his mouth.

You take a step forward and then slap him across his face, not as hard as you could but hard enough to sting his skin. It’s easier to be mad at him, it’s the only emotion you can process right now. You don't want to feel the hurt, the sadness, the love you have deep down for him, the pain of being left behind and forgotten.

“How dare you,” you say, voice weak and lip quivering.

“Y/n please let me explain myself, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? You have done more than hurt me.”

“I didn't know!” He whines, keeping his distance from you.

“You didn't know? Yes, you are right, you didn't know that you got me pregnant, you didn’t know you had a daughter, you’re right Remus. But you did know that I had a crush on you, that I had never been with anybody else, you knew I would have been alone after our friends died, you knowingly let me grieve for them all alone, you knew I was alive somewhere and you never once tried to find me, even just to be a friend. You may be innocent in some ways but in others, you’re not, and how can I forgive you for that without losing all of my self-worth.”

He sighs deeply, feeling defeated. ‘I know, I know I fucked up and I don't know if I can fix it or what to do but I found out you were here and even if you just stand there and tell me you hate me, I had to come to see you.”

The sadness in his voice breaks your heart a little, and you don't want to feel bad for him, but you also don't want your neighbours seeing you yelling at some man outside so you turn abruptly walking inside and leaving the door open. He hesitantly comes inside.

There are pictures of Hope on the walls, her artwork. There are pictures of James and Lily, ones with Peter and even Sirius is in the back of one but none of Remus.

“You never told her.”

“I was hoping you would come back and tell her yourself.”

“I’d like to. If you will let me.”

“Of course I will, just because I lost you, just because you don't want me doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve you in her life.”

“Don’t say it like that. Like I left because I didn’t want you.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” You yell loudly, scaring yourself as you sit down, gesturing to the opposite couch for him to sit on.

“I planned to stay that morning, I told myself that if you hadn’t left when I woke up that we would eat breakfast and I would tell you how I felt and even tell you about the worst parts of me, but I didn’t get the chance, I woke up and instantly found out the news, I ran out the door, I panicked I had to get out of there, do something. I hadn’t even thought about you at that moment and I'm sorry.”

You had no words to say to him other than words of forgiveness so easily threatening to spill from your sorry pathetic lips, it was so easy to forgive him and you didn't want to just yet so you stayed silent, letting him continue talking.

“After James and Lily died I didn't know what to do, I went into a dark place and hid away from everybody, you were never supposed to be a casualty, Hope was never supposed to be one either I just didn't know, I never in my wildest dreams could have thought of that happening. I had never been with anybody else I didn't know what I was doing.”

“I thought you lied about that part.” You admit and he frowns deeper.

“Why would I lie about that?” He asks, clearly offended.

“I don't know, to get me to sleep with you.”

“Oh because that's such an appealing trait, Y/n please fuck me I'm a dumb clueless virgin. Works on all the girls really.”

“Stop it!” You yell as you hide your face, “Don't make me laugh I'm mad at you.”

“I'm just being honest here,” he says as he stares at your face the trace of a smile gone after a second. “Y/n you are the only girl I have ever even thought about being with, the only girl I've ever had feelings for and I felt so worthless without my friends, I was sure there was no way you actually wanted me so I ran.”

“Oh, so when I slept with you that made it very clear that I didn't want you, when I was so obviously crushing on you for years that was a key indicator that I wanted nothing to do with you! All you do is make me feel like an absolute fool Remus! You left me for years, no letters, no calls and I still want you.” You admit and instantly regret it.

“You don't hate me?” He asks standing up and quickly trying to move closer to you.

“I hate that I don't hate you, I hate what you did but I have so much faith in you, that you can fix this.”

“Please, please let me try I’ll do everything I can do. Just give me the chance to fix this, to fix this relationship we never got a chance to try and also to fix things with Hope, I just need one chance I won’t mess it up,” he pleads with you as tears fill his eyes and it breaks your heart to see him begging you, you never imagined him coming back would be like this. And you're weak for him, oh so weak and you just want to hold him again, so you wrap your arms around him and pull him close hugging him tightly.

“Okay,” you whisper and by the time you release him from the hug you hear the door open. Four kids barge into the house and freeze when they see who is there.

“Mum? What is Mr. Lupin doing here?”

“It’s Professor Lupin, Hope. Not Mr.” Hermione corrects her and Ron and Harry just stand there confused.

“Uhm Hope, I need to talk to you, can your friends go back to the village and I'll walk you back over thereafter?” You ask her but she looks confused and she’s stubborn so she won’t let it go that easily.

“No, tell me what Mr. Lupin’s doing here!”

“Professor,” Hermione whispers and Hope glares at her, now not being the time to be corrected.

“I'm not really sure how to say this but-” You pause and Hermione's brain is working so fast that she realizes it before anyone else and interrupts you.

“Professor Lupin is your dad, isn’t he?”

“What no?” Hope argues, “I don't know who my dad is.”

“I never told you because I hoped one day he could tell you himself, I was honest when I said I hadn't seen him in years, that I couldn’t find him, I never imagined he would become a professor at Hogwarts. I never meant for it to be like this.” You try to explain, lost for words at the entire bizarre situation.

“I don’t believe this. You are missing for years, my whole life and then just like that you come back? That’s not fair.” She says crossing her arms. Her friends stand behind her, ready to do whatever she asks of them, whether it be staying and having her back or leaving her alone.

“Hope you can’t begin to understand how sorry I am, how much I will regret my past for the rest of my life, if I had known you existed I would have been here. I wasn't trying to hide from you or run away, I didn’t know.”

“One simple excuse doesn't make up for years of absence!” She yells and Hermione holds her arm, a soft comfort.

“I'm aware of that, but if you’ll let me I’d like to make it up to you,” he offers.

“What about my mum, you left her alone, regardless of whether I existed or not, how can I forgive you for doing that to her.”

“Hope, that's something me and your father will have to work out, you don't need to worry about that, I promise you if I didn't want him in your life and if I didn't trust him he wouldn't be here.”

“So just because you trust him, I'm supposed to too?”

“No honey, of course not, it will take a lot of time to become a normal family, It takes time to build love and trust I know that. Why don't you guys come in, eat some cookies and tell me about how your classes are going.” You offer the kids and as much as Ron wants homemade cookies, he waits with the others for you to decide.

“Okay,” Hope says finally agreeing to work on this. She walks over and grabs two cookies, shoving them in her mouth and taking a seat right beside Remus. Its something he doesn't expect and he freezes a little, you can tell he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to be a father. You grab his hand to reassure him.

“I guess I’ll be in your class next semester.” She mumbles as crumbs of cookie tumble from her mouth.

“I’ll be sure not to play favourites then.” he teases as he too takes a cookie before Ron and Harry eat all of them.

“No!” She yells playfully, “you better play favourites that's the whole point!”

“Noted,” Remus says with a smile and your heart feels so full, seeing them interact, having him back in your life no matter what type of relationship it ends up being you’re just grateful he's here and he is okay.

HP TAGLIST: @fortisfiliae​​ @bluemadcnna​​ @theboywhocriedlupin​​ @mayakblack​​ @viper-official​​ @southsidesarcasticwriter​​ ​ @hermionie-is-my-queen​​ @brighteyedmichelle​​ @rebelspacequeen​​ @behobiful​​ @pheonix-nin​​ @remilupin22​​ @mottergirl99​

EVERYTHING TAGLIST: @siriuslyimmoony​​ @carolinesbookworld​​ @jordan-ia​​ @theseuscmander​​ @teenwolftimelord​​ @celestial-vomit​​ @insertagoodname​​ @simonsbluee​

[scamesprompts]

Stay (James/Scorpius)

(Here is a sample of my writing just so you know.)

Scorpius lived happily with his best mate Albus in their own flat in London. It was nice, except for one thing or rather person. James Sirius Potter. Ever since Al and Scorpius moved into the flat James wuld constantly barge in to raid their fridge, but mainly to annoy Scorpius.

Today was no different. He came into his flat after a long day of work at St. Mungo's exhausted. He was just wanted to sleep forever. His plans changed when he saw James had beat him home. "How are you always here before me?"

James shrugged as he rummaged through his and Albus' fridge.

"Don't you have your own food?" Scorpius questioned.

"Yeah, but yours is better." James replied. "Ooh cheese whiz, the good stuff!" James then proceeded to spray the cheese directly into his mouth.

Scorpius scrunched up his face in disgust. "That's disgusting, James."

"Don't knock it till you try it." James then offered the can to Scorpius.

Scorpius shook his head, "No thanks."

James went on about his day, though Scorpius never asked. Then Albus came on.

"James, get the fuck out." Albus ordered.

"So rude to your guests. Fine, I'll see you tomorrow." James said, then left.

----------------------

"Are you sure you'll be all right? I can just not go." Albus offered.

"Don't be ridiculous.. Ofcourse you're goinf, don't waste this opportunity." Scorpius said. Albus was leaving for a work trip in Egypt for a few weeks, a great career opportunity.

"But it's two weeks."

"Al, I can take care of myself." Scorpius said. Honestly, he was acting like he was a child.

Albus sighed, "All right, but if you change your mind I'm only a floo call away."

"I won't need to, but thanks." Scorpius said.

---------------------

It had been a few days and he hadn't seen James. It was a noce reprieve honestly, though a bit strange. He may just be busy with work. Why do you care? He thought too soon because James was there, looking through his cabinets this time.

"Where is all your bloody food?" James asked.

"I don't know James, some annoying redheaded bloke keeps on eating it." Scorpius said sarcastically.

"Wouldn't you have just went to the store then?" James questioned.

"I haven't gotten around to it. Albus usually does the shopping." Scorpius said. He mostly ordered takeaways anyway, he couldn't cook. He was never really taught, no one in his family cooked.

"I'll be back." James said, then disapparated.

Scorpius wondered where he had gone. It had been a half hour.

It was then that James apparated into the flat with an armful of groceries.

"If you were going grocery shopping to raid me anyway then why not just shop for yourself." Scorpius said.

"What an odd way to say, 'Thank you.'" James said as he sat the bags down on the table.

"Thank you." Scorpius muttered.

"That was crap, but I'll take it." James said then started emptying put the bags. More than half of it was junk food.

Scorpius sighed and started putting the food away.

-----------------------------

Scorpius had been on a few dates with Thaddeus Wood already. Things were going well so Scorpius invited him to his flat. It had been awhile since Scorpius had sex. He wasn't one for hookups.

Him and Thaddeus had entered his flat to ne greeted by James, halfway through a rotisserie chicken. He had not even accounted for James being at the flat. He should have though."Wood, fancy seeing you here."

"I thought you lived with the other Potter?" Thaddeus questioned.

"I do, this one's just a thorn in my side." Scorpius grumbled.

"I have to say, Scorpius, I didn't know Wood was your type." James said, looking Thaddeus up and down.

"James, leave." Scorpius said firmly.

"Why? Am I in the way of something, a rosuing game of Wizard's chess perhaps or... exploding snap?"

"Maybe I should just... go." Thaddeus said.

"No, don't go! James is the one who needs to leave." Scorpius said, shooting James a glare.

"That's rude. I'm in the middle of something here." James said.

"Take the chicken and go. Now." Scorpius ordered, James was not messing this up for him.

"Pfft. Fine, fine. Have fun with your game of exploding snap. Shame though, I'm quite good at it." James said with a wink then left.

Scorpius sighed. "Sorry about him. Now where were we?"

Thaddeus grinned, "I think I have an idea." he said then pulled him in for a kiss. Night saved.

-------------------------------

Scorpius had, had a particularly stressful day at work. The day dragged and when it was through Scorpius was a ball of tension. He arrived to his flat, empty. He was alone which should have been a relief to him, but it wasn't.

He felt a tightening in his chest and extremely amxious. Oh no, it was coming. The panic attack. He hadn't had one since 7th year, he used to get them all the time.

He sat down on the sofa to try to get grip on himself. Scorpius grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest. He starged shaling. This couldn't happen, not now. He didn't want to call Albus, ot wpuldn't do any good. He could floo Rose, but she was likely busy, she was never at her flat.

James. He could floo, James, he was better than no one. Scorpius didn't want to be alone. So he stood up and threw powder into the fireplace.

A shirtless James appeared in the flames. He was so bloody fit, must have been all that Quidditch. Does he just walk around his flat shirtless? "Scorpius? What is going on?"

"Can-can you come over?" Scorpius asked. Why did he sound so pathetic.

James looked perplexed by this. "All right. I'll be right there."

Within a few minutes James appeared in the flat with a shirt on. He looked over Scorpius, "You look awful, what's wrong?"

Scorpius didn't speak or rather he found he couldn't. He just sat back down on the sofa.

James frowned. "You're shaking." He sat down beside Scorpius.

Scorpius immediately regretted his decision this was a bad idea. He shouldn't have asked James here, he was just wasting his time.

"Hey, come here." James pulled him to his chest. "My dad would get like this sometimes, Mum would always calm him down like this. She's better at it than I am though."

Scorpius had to admit he felt a little better with James' arms wrapped around him. He felt... safe. They didn't speak for awhile, jimust sittng there. Scorpius didn't know James was capable of being quiet. Scorpius had stopped shaking by now and felt calmer.

"It's getting late, I should probably head out." James said.

"Stay." Scorpius found himself saying before he could stop them from coming out. He blushed. "I mean... just in case it gets bad again. I don't want to be alone."

"All right. I'll stay." James agreed.

"Thanks." Scorpius said in a small voice.

"Anytime." James said.

Maybe there was more to James than being annoying. Just maybe.

[ivett-toth]

New interview by hunskate with our beloved Ivett, in where she talks about her new training enviroment, new programs and other personal stuff. Translation by @fanpower98​, please don’t repost!

Ivett Tóth successfully passed her final exams so now she can concentrate on training with full power. Our olympic figure skater can start the new season with a new SEAT and supported by MOL*, after two weeks resting she started training again. We looked back to last season with her and we talked about her new programs, plans and goals.

[*N/T: MOL is a famous hungarian oil and gas company]

Congratulations on your graduation! There was a fully scheduled year behind you. How did you get by?

Thank you, I’m happy I could finally check this off. In the olympic season, when I trained in Switzerland, the school took a backseat, I couldn’t travel back home for the exams so I had to do grade 12 again. It was hard but it affected me on a positive way, where something also got my attention beside skating and didn’t overthink while training. In the last weeks I spent less time on the ice because of the exams, I usually had one practise a day. I could get to work again after the written [exams] then Vasas had an outage where, without ice, meant us a two weeks break. In the meantime I got beyond the oral [exams] so now the intensive preparation can start.

You started the last season with the Italian and the Finnish challengers. How did you evaluate your performance there?

I’m happy I started the season earlier like in the previous seasons because it made me feel calmer, I didn’t had to rush or act in haste to go through the road I planned. Thanks to a good short program, I could do my free in the best group at Lombardia Trophy and I got 7th place overall, so I got ranking points with that. At Finlandia Trophy I did a lot of stupid mistakes so I slipped really down, in the end I didn’t need that much to reach the settled goal. I learned from both competitions.

Then you had two competitions at home: you had the lead at the Halloween Cup after the short program, but you got bronze at the end, at Christmas Cup you were able to keep the first place and you won with high scores. Is the pressure bigger if you have to compete at home?

I always have some nervousness in me but it rather gives me safety when I can compete at home. Moreover they organized the Halloween Cup in Vasas where I practice day by day and since I live close to the rink I just walked to the competition. This is why it was special to me, because it was the first time I competed there. However I already got a lot of experience in the Gyakorló Jégcsarnok (Practice Rink), Christmas Cup went better because it was more than one month later and I could get in shape until then. Actually we should keep out where we compete but of course we know that at home there are more familiar faces, there are more hungarian fans in the spectators’ area which affects me in a positive way on stressful situations.

Yet before Christmas Cup you could be glad for a foreign win: you got a gold medal in November in Riga at Volvo Open Cup. How do you recall that competition?

I did my short program for the first time in the season where, when I got off the ice, I was satisfied with my performance. The free wasn’t perfect, though. But I accomplished it better than in the previous competitions. There was this feeling where for the first time I felt I was able to show for what we worked so hard that I started to find myself. It was a little milestone for me from which we could build.

However at Four National Competitions, which is also the Nationals, you didn’t do well. How did you prepare after that to the European Championships?

I’m a very nervous type of person, I have to consciously pay attention to relax even if the training went very well. Although the competition was here in [Buda]Pest and I felt the fans’ support, I couldn’t relax for some reason. I didn’t perform well but at least my performance was enough to not to have to participate in another sorting competition so I could concentrate on the training with my nerves. I knew if I keep calm and only follow my coaches advices, we can reach our goal.

This goal was to be in the top ten but at the end you managed to get the 13th place from last year. You had some trouble with the double Axel in both programs but you got an ISU season’s personal best for the free skate. You could perform before a big crowd, how did you live it through?

I was very surprised that so much people came, I didn’t think figure skating or any other ice sport is that famous in Belarus. The audience encouraged all competitors, clapped through the programs, it had the feeling like the stands were full with asian fans. I still haven’t found whys for that two double Axels, maybe some short circuit [I can’t remember the word we use in english fs fandom]. True, I haven’t got into the top ten but I feel like I managed to get better at both programs compared to last year and I think back with with good feelings to Minsk EC. Particularly to the free, I slapped into the air at the end, I felt like I did my best this time. When I looked into my coaches’ eyes, that said everything, I knew they are proud of me. Through that one year together Zsófi and Zoli [Zsófia Tokaji-Kulcsár, Zoltán Tóth] became extremely important persons in my life, there isn’t bigger pleasure than the fact I could bring them joy. These are the unforgettable memories what drives us forward in gray weekdays and in trainings and I hope we can live through more moments like this together.

After your fifth European Championships came your fifth World Championship where unfortunately you couldn’t perform your free skate. What was in you when you got off the ice and got your scores?

Between EC and Worlds I would’ve had an another competition but I got sick and I rested so much that my muscles got down so I had to concentrate on getting back to my condition instead of competing. I did succeed on it quite well but I felt the lack of the competitions’ atmosphere at Worlds. I would have liked to finish the season with a good performance but the missed jump and the stumble on the step sequence cost a lot. That hurt more that getting in the free depended on these .3 tenths but you also have to know how to handle this. With a harder heart we tried to take the opportunity that we were in Japan: we went to sightseeing in Tokyo, watched almost all the competitions and I could learn a lot from the others’ performances. We enjoyed the banquet very much and then when we came home I had to start to prepare to my final exams so I couldn’t stay dwelling on for long what happened there.

If you had to describe your season with some words, what would you say?

Maybe that that I did everything full of love and now somehow every training and every competition went easier than last year. Because I started to work with new coaches it was also a very good experience. A lot of times I couldn’t bring it out of myself during competitions what I did at practices but they always stood by me and helped me.

In May the selected ones could work with Alexandr Abt, who you could met at the competition in Riga. What gave you these four days?

He had great results as a figure skater and I already knew him by sight because I have competed many times with one of his Swiss student. Although it’s not possible to do miracles in four days he did a very good job with us, we learned a lot from him and we could get to know a fantastic person by him. We paid attention to steps, spins and also jumps, we mostly did exercises to move us out from the comfort zone and try other steps into the elements. We benefit from this a lot at practices and it’s sure I’ll build some little things into my programs from those what he showed us.

Since you already mentioned your programs: would you reveal what music did you chose for next season, what style will you come out with [this time]?

It’s important to me to stay interesting so I’m showing a new side of me again in my short program: I’ll skate to swing. It has a plenty of challenges in it but I enjoy it very much. It’s choreographed by Nóra Hoffmann and my coaches, in regards of the costume and make up still no decisions were made [T/N: the interview was in July so it’s probably done by now]. Because we performed the short many times I definitely wanted to change it so neither the judges and neither the fans would get bored. However I kept the free because I loved it and I feel I can make a lot more out of it. I haven’t had the opportunity to work with Benoit this time but we are in contact and I hope next year we can continue our work together.

What are your main goals for next season? In what would you want to evolve the most?

My main goal is to have a more balanced season, to get in shape earlier and to increase the number of my triple jumps. In the short program I would like to make my triple-triple more difficult, we will see which one is the best during practices. To the free I would like to put back the Flip, what was in it at some competitions in autumn but then we took it out. Besides this we are also working on them [the programs] performance-wise a lot and since my short was choreographed here at home and I have performed the free for a year I can practice them better.

Although you got two weeks resting, for you half of it was about studying. Do you still have the opportunity to go on a holiday to really get relaxed?

We always go somewhere with family but it won’t come together this year. I’ll have some free weekends but frankly, now I don’t feel like I need some rest. I couldn’t do intense training because of exams and I really missed the [physical] stress, I couldn’t wait to continue the practices. I really enjoy the work, I can absolutely give myself to the music we’ve found for the short and I also want to level up my free program. Based on all of what we went through last season with my coaches, I dare to say that there is “kraft”* in our collaboration and we still can show a lot of things to the audience.

I feel that I found my place.

*[T/N: “kraft” means “strength/force and Ivett used this word and I wanted to keep it. We use a lot of hungarized german words.]