#matt murdock self insert

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MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Season Three - Aimed To Kill

tags: @mayasaurus--rex @americaarse @dusstory @johnmurphys-sass @ironprincessstranger @astrobees @woowwwee // four // six // masterlist

Pairing: Matt x Livia

Word Count: 10,424

Summary: Pages turn and bridges burn as Ex realizes the extent that she’s behind. When sentiment thrives amongst the chaos between her and her first love, question becomes whether they can fix their hearts with the lips that have left scars on each other.

Ray sent you home after your conversation. A team remained for cleanup and analysis, and you offered to help, but you were told to go home. He said for you to take care of yourself, write down whatever important things you didn’t want to forget, and he’d see you in the office for a debrief tomorrow. You tried to wait for Karen or Foggy, but Ray said if you wouldn’t leave on your own, he would walk to your car himself.

You thought about going home, about sleeping off the whole ordeal. But your mindless driving took you to the church. Once you pulled up, your feet guided you through the rod-iron gate out front without hesitation and through the heavy wood doors with your chest growingly inexplicably tighter with each step.

Your feet seemed to know where to go more than your head because before you knew it, you were just around the corner from the gate. You took a deep breath and built the pressure in your chest to a pinnacle. You let it out as a controlled exhale and felt the thrumming of your pulse slow to its usual pace.

“You’re missing the point! He didn’t just find someone to wear my suit.” Matt argued so you stayed around the corner to listen in, hiding your presence behind a bubble of indifference. “He’s as fast and skilled as I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t take him. He found someone to kill me.”

“Matthew.” Sister Maggie tried.

“I was stupid enough to think that I had Fisk cornered. He knew I’d find the witness and I just brought the sheep to the slaughter.”

You shook your head slightly, feeling that slap of guilt.

“Jasper Evans is dead. He’s dead and he leaves a son behind and that’s on me! … I was so sure that I was finally out in front of this bastard. God, and I was stupid enough to put Livia in the middle of it.”

You stepped inside quietly and stood beside Maggie. Her head snapped towards your sudden presence, but she offered a small, thankful smile. You gently took the cloth from her hand and moved towards Matt. He jerked away from your touch but you grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back. He huffed in annoyance and you quietly rolled your eyes.

“Fisk knew I thought that I had him. He was waiting for me.” Matt’s rant continued, though his anger was now wavering between that heat - a heat that so familiarly blasted from him - and suffocating guilt. “Of course he was waiting for me.”

You worked calmly and quietly as you began undoing the buttons of his shirt. 

“Foggy and Karen could’ve been killed.” Matt tried.

Your movements paused at the last button when you realized he was right. But your head cocked in thought when you also realized that they weren’t killed. He hardly touched them… Why kill everyone else but them? “And there would’ve been nothing I could’ve done to stop it. Nothing.”

“You’re losing blood. Let me stitch you up!” Maggie insisted and Matt’s brows furrowed slightly, clearly having assumed the person touching him was the familiar nun.

“I listened to you. I listened to you and they almost died.” Matt continued, though one bloodied hand reached forward and found your face.

You couldn’t hide the smile as his thumb traced your features. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, his mouth threatening to reveal a smile. That prior tightness in your chest dissipated almost instantly when you saw that you still meant something special to him. While their conversation continued, you were thinking of an old memory from college.

————————————

“Does that even work?” You giggled and dropped on the bed beside Matt. He turned his head in your direction with a content smile. “They do it on TV but is it actually a thing?”

“It helps, yeah.” He nodded. “You don’t have to though.”

“Do you want to?”

He gave a small shrug. “Foggy’s pretty much told me what you look like. The guy couldn’t stop talking about you for a week after we first met. It was always ‘how did we not know she was in our classes?’ and ‘how is a girl like that trynna be a lawyer?’.”

“Huh.” You propped yourself up on your elbows. “I’m gonna kick Franklin’s ass.” You laughed before sitting up fully and patting Matt’s chest. “C’mon, get up.”

“Why?” He asked, though he did as he was told.

“So we can do this.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

You could tell he was trying to keep down his smile as his hand hovered near your cheek. You felt a twisting in your stomach and realized for the first time in a long time, you had butterflies. Your skin was buzzing with excitement as you waited for Matt’s gentle touch. He giggled quietly and pulled his hands away.

“What’s wrong?” You laughed.

“Nothing.” He insisted with a grin. “Nothing, I swear.”

Your brows raised expectantly and he licked his lips with a smile as he raised his hands again. You laughed to yourself and grabbed his wrists to guide his hands. You slid his fingers into your hair at your temples and his thumbs ran along your forehead, following the path of your hairline.

You watched his expression shift, though there was always a smile on his face. His brows raised and furrowed as his thumbs continued to travel your face, skimming over your eyebrows as his fingers traced the curve of your ears. You giggled slightly when he got your eyes and the touch against your lashes made your eyes close.

“Can you smile?” He asked softly when both palms slid to your cheeks.

Your eyes opened and you saw the soft expression he wore. That look alone was enough to bring out an honest smile, thinking about how sweet and honest Matt was. He gave you a chance to be soft in a way you never had before. You had always thought yourself synonymous with bloody knuckles and gun powder. You wanted to be something to fear, to make people afraid to hurt you. But when Matt was around, all your jagged edges seemed to be rounded out.

His thumbs traced your cheeks to the bridge of your nose. You bit down the smile as his pointer fingers made their way to your lips, gingerly tracing the shape. One hand fell away while the other gave your cheeks a gentle squeeze, making you laugh.

“What was that for?” You asked and he laughed with you as he pulled both hands back to his lap.

“Nothing.” He answered innocently. “You’re beautiful, Livia.”

“Thanks, Matt.. So are you.”

“Yeah?” His brows raised as a slight pink tinted his cheeks.

“Yeah…” You smiled softly. “Y’know, I’m really glad we met.”

“Me too.”

————————————

Maggie tapped your shoulder and you pulled back into the present moment. You turned to see her handing you a bowl with the supplies to stitch him up. She offered a quick nod before disappearing and you blinked the pink tint from your vision.

“I don’t know if I can beat the man he sent to kill me, Livvy.” Matt confessed softly as you moved across the room to wash your hands.

“Have you forgotten everything I taught you?” You asked simply.

“I’ve thought about everything between us a lot lately.” He said softly, all anger fading to the back for a moment as he appeared at your side. “Good and bad.”

“And there’s been a lot of both.”

“Mostly my fault.”

You turned to him with a clean wet cloth in hand. You gently grabbed his jaw and turned his head down towards you. He snorted a quiet chuckle while you gently cleared the blood from his nose and mouth.

“Well I’m not exactly a cake walk to have around… Just ask Marc. Or Billy. Or Frank. Or either of my cousins.. Hell, you could ask Karen.” You laughed slightly.

“I’m serious, Livvy.” He offered a small, lopsided smile.

“Y’know, I thought you might've turned off your heart, cause that just wasn’t you last time I saw you, when we were at Jasper’s.. But this guilt makes more sense.”

“You don’t seem very fazed that our friends could’ve died.” He commented as your hands returned to their place in his chest and began stitching him up.

“Yeah...” Your brows furrowed as you thought back to your realization from just moments ago. “They could’ve. But they didn’t.”

“He knew from the start, since I went to the prison. He knew I’d find Jasper.”

“Shut up for a second.” You shook your head, pausing your hands to let your brain work through your thoughts. You slowly began tapping your finger against his chest and he looked down at you with raised brows. “So why didn’t he kill them?”

“What?”

“The imposter could've killed them both. You were down and I had barely gotten to my feet, which was after he had already pulled a trigger on Jasper.” You stopped and turned your head up to face Matt again. “He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to give chances. So why not kill them too? Why not kill all of us?”

“Cause that wasn’t the plan.” Matt finished.

“No… He wasn’t sent to clear the place. The journalists and whatever damage he did from that was his own idea, probably only killing people that fought back. He was sent to send a message. To me and you, to the public, and every crime syndicate in New York. If he can wreck your public image, it shows that the people can’t trust you anymore. And by making it look like you’ve snapped and you work for him now, criminal groups across the city will see him as untouchable.”

“FBI protects him inside. Daredevil protects him outside. Makes it look like not even Exodus can’t touch him.”

“Untouchable. Like she’s fighting a losing battle…” Your fingers continued the steady movements to stitch him up. “We’ve gotta find this guy sooner rather than later.”

“I couldn’t stop him, but you could.” His brows furrowed but you ignored the look he gave you and focused on finishing the stitches. “How’d you know how to beat him?”

“His first instinct was to throw the club, which told me pretty much everything I needed to know.” You explained, though it was partially a lie. “He was strong, sure. But it was easy to tell his advantage was with distance and projectiles. When you two were going at it, he had trouble blocking everything which showed a lack in hand to hand experience. I saw a fighter that relied on brute strength or distance. The way he carried himself reminded me of the military, and in my experience, military men can’t defend against me very well. He couldn’t get me until I let up or got distracted.”

“Your experience.” He chuckled. “How many military men do you have experience with?”

“I don’t owe you that answer.” You said simply.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that’s not a very discreet way to ask who I’ve been sleeping with.”

“What?” He feigned innocence.

“I know you were at the apartment. What gave it away?”

“I could smell the colognes in the bedroom.” He admitted.

You let the silence settle for a moment until he began fiddling with his fingers.

“Four.” You finally answered and his brows raised in mild shock. “Two of them would’ve been recent enough that you could tell but they were just to pass the time. Well that’s kind of a lie. I was starting to like one of them until he turned around and shot me. The other two of them actually mattered, but one of them’s like my family. They’ve never been in the bedroom like that.”

“Hmm… Couch?” He tried to joke.

You smacked his arm.

“Neither of them have been in the apartment.” You specified.

“Your math is wrong, by the way. That was five.”

“No, it’s four.. There’s some overlap.”

“Would I uh… Would I know any of them?”

“Names, yes. Actual people, some. And to answer that other burning question that’s stamped on your forehead, no. I never slept with Frank.”

“I didn’t-“

“You assumed the only military guy we had in common… You were dead. What else was I supposed to do?” You gave a small shrug and dropped the supplies to the sink.

“I know.”

“Y’know, I really thought we could make it..”

“We still can.” He said softly, as if the words would break him. As if admitting those words in your presence was the last crumble of his resolve to stay away in the name of your protection.

And maybe they did. All you knew for sure was that whatever hard casing had shattered in your chest earlier that night, it would never fully solidify again. You were each other’s greatest weakness. The clearest vulnerability, but your greatest strength came from each other. Your best feats came when you two were together. Fisk knew that, and that’s why he wanted to separate you two.

Matt waited for you to turn back towards him and when you did, he took your hand and guided you to the small bed tucked in the corner.

“The suit he was wearing...” You remembered, hoping to redirect the conversation to the fight.

“Yeah, it was perfect.” Matt agreed.

“I think we’ll need to see Melvin.” You sighed and turned to him.

His brows furrowed as his head tilted, listening in on something. Your head cocked as you watched and waited for him to talk about it.

“Are your ribs bothering you again?” He asked suddenly. “It sounds like the bones are rubbing together.”

“Probably. He slammed me a few times and I took a tumble down the stairs earlier but it doesn’t hurt.” You sat up taller to prod the area but Matt’s hand was already pressing against the bones while the other was against your back for stability. You winced sharply and grabbed his wrist. “Yeah, they’re busted. I’ll deal with it later.”

“I can’t really feel it. Can I…” He gestured to your shirt.

You shook your head softly but stripped off your jacket and button-up. You gave Matt a side eye as you undid the velcro straps on your vest but he held a look of innocent concern. You pulled the vest over your head with a wince, leaving you in the black compression top that was underneath.

“Don’t think you're gonna get me out my clothes that easy anymore, Murdock.” You teased and he smiled as you guided his hands back.

“Guess I still got it.” He answered lowly as he pressed against your rib cage. You let a sound between a whine and a groan, which made Matt quickly turn to face you. “Never heard you make that sound before.”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes in amusement.

“What about your hip? Where the knife went in?” His fingers slid down and pressed the joint of your hip.

“It’s fine, should be just a scar by now.” You looked down at his hand and saw the dark purple shapes on the back of your forearms from where you blocked the baton earlier that night. You hummed in acknowledgment and lifted your arms to better see the bruises.

Matt was quick to reach up and run his fingers along your skin, feeling the slight swelling of the discolored area. He sighed slightly and leaned forward, sliding his hands to have a better grip on your hips. He offered a quiet, pleading expression and gave your body a slight pull. You hesitantly scooted closer, lifting a leg to rest on his lap.

“My last fight was a lot worse. Still got out better than you did.” You said softly, brushing your fingers across his forehead to move his hair back. “You feeling okay?”

“Careful, Livia.” His eyes closed and a small smile crossed his lips. “I might start to think you still love me.”

“I wouldn’t be down here if I didn’t.” You confessed quietly. “I had to make sure we didn’t lose you again.”

He shifted back on the bed slightly and pulled your hips again, this time pulling you over his lap. He draped your arms over his shoulders before his hands ran up and down the sides of your thighs. You leaned your forehead to rest on his and he tilted his head back so his lips brushed yours.

“You know there are some things we need to talk about.” You said quietly.

“I know..”

“And I can’t stay down here forever.”

“Yeah, just… Just let me hold you for a little longer.”

You nodded slightly and his arms snaked around your waist, allowing you to wrap yours around his shoulders.  You leaned forward to drop your head against his shoulder and his chin rested on top of your head. He took a deep breath and his arm held you a little closer. In turn, you felt a rattling in your chest. The sensation was true for what you and Matt felt about your current relationship. Uncertain, shaky at best with a cracked foundation. But there was a familiar tug as well, like a string tied from his heart to yours.

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of me anymore.” He mumbled against your shoulder before he pulled back. “I can’t keep you with me.”

“I can protect myself.” You answered with a small smile. “And I can feel that you want me here, Matty. You can say whatever you want but you can’t hide that longing in your chest.”

He hesitated to go any further, though his hands held you a bit tighter. You let your own hands run up the back of his neck and your fingers pushed into his hair. He let out a chuckle in relief and pressed his lips fully against yours.

Your lips moved together as if no time had passed. You let out a soft moan when he gently pulled you closer and you let all your guards crumble away.

Suddenly, Matt could feel her pulse against his skin with the small noise she made. He could hear more than just the bones rubbing together in her chest. He heard the way her heart was pounding and her breath was growing shallow. He slid his hands up to the exposed skin of her sides and he loved how he heard her heart pick up and the gasp that fell from her lips. He continued to push his hands under her shirt until his fingers found the hem of her bra.

His head was screaming for him to let her go, to force her to leave and keep her safe. He was yelling at himself to say something hurtful, to break her heart and send her off hating him. He knew she’d be safer that way, as far away from as she could get. But Matt recognized that she wouldn’t go for that. She’d never leave his side if she had a choice, and she wouldn’t let Matt take that choice from her.

She pulled her lips away just enough to offer a small, silent nod. She helped him remove her shirt and to stifle the groan. Once the fabric was gone, Matt gently switched positions so she could lay on her back. He carefully climbed on top of her and felt her hands trail down his chest. His eyes closed as her fingertips ghosted over the various scars across his abdomen, as if she wanted to see if they were still there. Maybe that was how she could convince herself it was real, that he was real. He felt her hands falter on one that she wouldn’t know, one that came from Midland Circle. But he knew she wasn’t feeling it in a bad way. She was feeling it to remember it, to add it to the memory she kept of his body.

He had added a few new scars of hers to his memory as well. The tattoos at the back of her neck. Deep lines around her wrist that were interrupted by a shallow circle on either side, a short but raised mark near her belly button. The newest one at her hip that he had yet to feel. He felt the slight divot along her jaw earlier that night. Whatever she had gone through in his absence, she’d never be able to forget it. He still wondered what happened, but in those moments where he had her hands and lips on him, he couldn't bring himself to stop and ask. He decided it would be a story for another time.

The moment only broke when Livia gently pushed his chest away.

“Maybe this isn’t a great idea..” You said gently.

“Yeah..” He answered simply, as if that was the reaction he expected from you. “You’re probably right.”

“I still wanna stay.” You offered as he moved to lay beside you.

“I thought you couldn’t.”

“Tell me to go and I will.”

“And if I want you to stay”?

“Tell me and I will.”

You woke later that night - or maybe it was early morning - when your phone was ringing on the floor. You freed yourself from Matt’s arms and slid from the small bed to the floor. You found your phone in your jacket and leaned your back against the bed while you answered.

“Yeah?” You mumbled, eyes still closed and sleep dripping from your voice.

“Hey.” Dex’s voice answered and it felt like you were slapped awake. Every muscle in your body tensed as you expected an accusation of your alter ego. “Just callin’ to see if you’re home. I wanted to come by.”

“Isn’t it kinda late for that?”

“I was just hoping we could talk.. I heard about what happened at the Bulletin.”

“They’re talking about it already?” Your brows furrowed. 

“No, not really.” He said carefully and it was clear he was fabricating his lie as he went. “Ray told me you got a little banged up and I should check on you.”

You knew you had to redirect the conversation quickly or else he might realize that he didn’t see you there, if he hadn’t realized already.

“You don’t have to. I’ve gotten worse than a few bumps and bruises. But hey, while I got you, I wanted to ask if there was any word on your leave? I didn’t get a chance to see if Ray knew anything.”

“Uh… No. No, I haven’t heard anything. No.”

“That’s too bad.” You feigned disappointment. “Tonight probably would’ve been different if you were with me.”

“Yeah…” He paused on the other line and you knew you still had some hooks in him you could pull. “Well, I guess I’ll let you go. Sorry to wake you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hopefully I get you back with me soon, yeah?”

“Yeah… Yeah, soon. Back with.. with you.”

When you walked into work that morning, you were immediately blasted with familiar feelings from Karen. You followed that calling and ended up in the conference room with Foggy and Karen on one side and Ray on the other. Karen let out a tense sigh and jumped to meet you in a tight embrace, so tight you had to swallow the groan when she squeezed your ribs. Foggy was next, a short embrace followed by a tap on your arm.

“Yersova. Glad you’re here. How do you feel?” Ray asked when you stood beside him.

“Little banged up.” You gestured to the still red cut on your forehead. “But I’m not sitting this out. I get you had to pull me from the Murdock investigation but you’re letting me stay on this thing.”

“Yeah.” He gave a small smile. “Wouldn’t do it without you.”

“Great.” You nodded and took a seat beside Ray. “Fill me in.”

“We were addressing that, according to her own paper, Ms. Page has met Daredevil at least twice.” He explained and slid a paper across the table, citing the articles Karen had written.

“That psycho’s not Daredevil.” She countered and shoved the paper back.

“I got a pretty good look at him, too. Could’ve fooled me.” Ray countered, not acknowledging that you had told him something similar the night before.

“Do you think every fat guy with a white beard and red suit is Santa Claus?” Foggy countered and you had to smile.

“If he comes down my chimney and leaves presents under the tree.”

“Devil’s in the details there, Ray.” You added carefully. “That guy would’ve acted like Santa. If he did all of that, this guy didn’t act like Daredevil.”

“Based on how many encounters?” Ray turned to you.

“Couple.” You shrugged.

“He doesn’t kill people, ever. It’s not Daredevil.” Karen insisted. “Did you ever look into Felix Manning? Red Lion Bank?”

“They’re on my to-do list.”

“This is bullshit.”

“Look, Karen, he dropped your name.” You added but you weren’t speaking to her an FBI agent. You were speaking to her as her friend, as her vigilante friend, and she knew that. “He had a chance to kill you, but he didn’t. You were the one person left untouched. I know this seems like bullshit but we need to get these pieces to line up somehow.”

“It won’t.” Foggy cut in. “Not until you two start asking the right questions.”

“And what are those, Mr. Nelson?”

“How about this? Where’s Matt Murdock?” Ray interjected, looking at Foggy and then you.

You simply shrugged.

“Yet another fine example of a question that’s besides the friggin’ point!”

“You were supposed to deliver him to us-“ He gestured between the two of you. “-but there are zero Matt Murdocks in my custody.”

“And zero Jasper Evans left alive.” Karen added. “He killed the one person who had dirt on Fisk, but you knew that already. Is that why you don’t wanna go there?”

“Ms. Page.” You warned.

“What? That nut job did Agent Nadeem a huge favor. Now there’s no one left to tell the world what a fool Fisk is making of the FBI.” Karen continued.

“Did you know Daredevil was-“ Ray began.

“Daredevil imposter.” You cut in, earning a look of disbelief from Ray. “I’ll show you later.”

“Regardless.” He turned back to Karen. “Did you know he was gonna attack the Bulletin? Is that why you brought your gun?”

“Oh, come on.” You groaned as Foggy announced “We’re done here.”

Your friends were quick to leave the room, leaving you and Ray.

“What are you doing? I thought you didn’t get a good look at him.” Ray said lowly, almost angrily.

“No but you know who did, other than Karen?” You reached into your pocket and pulled an old thumb drive. “Outside my door this morning. I already checked it and it’s clean. No malware, no viruses, no tracking. Just a comparison of this Daredevil and the real Daredevil.”

After you left Matt the morning before work, you downloaded the footage from your mask. You found a few shots of Dex in the suit and downloaded those frames as pictures. You found a few old shots of Matt in the suit that matched the same framing and downloaded those as well.

“Do I wanna know who gave this to you?” He asked as he carefully took it.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you.” You shrugged. “Could be an amateur photographer. I know Jameson at the Bugle is always looking for freelancers. Just give me a chance to explain it all, okay? I’ll be right back.”

You hurried out of the room and found Karen and Foggy not too far across the office.

“Evans wouldn’t have come to Bulletin if I hadn’t threatened his son.” Karen said sadly.

“His son will be alright.” You said honestly as you joined them. “My cousin is gonna get in touch and let him know, give him some money and help him start over. It’s not ideal but he’ll be okay.”

“We need to find Matt and-“ Foggy tried.

“No, I’m gonna head to the hospital.” Karen cut in, her voice weak with regret and guilt.

“Call me if you need anything.” You offered on her way out and she nodded. You sighed softly before facing Foggy again and speaking quietly, pulling him a few steps to the side. “Matt’s okay. I checked on him last night.”

“You know where he is?” His brows furrowed.

“Yeah, I guess I always had a feeling. I took a chance and it worked out.. Anyway, he’s a little worse off than me but he’ll be fine.”

“You guys have anything?”

“Sort of.” Your head tilted back and forth. “I’ve got some ideas and a basic construct, but we’ve gotta go to the guy that made the suit in the first place.”

“Think he’ll talk?”

“Yeah, he’s a good enough guy. Fisk had to have twisted his arm to get him to go along with it.” You nodded. “I’m gonna look into it on my lunch, assuming he doesn’t go rogue and do it without me.”

“I’m glad you two are working together again. What does it mean for you two?.”

“I don’t know yet, but my priority is keeping you three safe. I don’t care what I have to do.”

“Livia.” He sighed.

“Yersova!” Ray called from down the hall. “Back to work. Let’s go.”

You patted Foggy’s arm and headed back into the office, following Ray towards a meeting with the warden. Ray filled you in quickly on the walk that you two were going to figure out how Jasper got out in the first place.

Apparently fake books wasn’t the most obvious solution.

You sat on the edge of the desk while Ray handled most of the conversation.

“How did some just check the wrong box?” You chuckled. “If you can’t give me a legitimate path to investigate, it’s gonna fall on your head. Forging federal documents is a crime and you will be serving time if you don’t give us answers. And something tells me those prisoners would love to spend some time with you.”

He stared at you and Ray and you felt the panic. He knew he was cornered, but he was also a coward. Whatever Fisk held over him, it was worth a jail sentence.

“I want my lawyer.” He said finally.

You two were then sitting in the SAC’s office and running over what had just happened. You were quiet while Ray went over everything. He told her what happened with Karen, what Jasper was supposed to say, what happened with the warden. 

“You believe Evans?” She looked to you.

“Why would he risk his life for a lie?” You shrugged. “And if the warden had nothing to hide, why bother with lawyers?”

“Alright. We gotta kick this up the chain. I’m calling the ADIC.”

“And tell him we don’t know all the facts?” Ray questioned quickly.

“There’s a damn good chance Fisk is manipulating us.”

“I warned you guys this would happen.” You muttered and crossed your arms.

“Shut it.” She pointed firmly to you.

“We need two days. Let us get all the facts.” Ray tried and you had to admit, you admired his determination. “When we can prove Fisk had been playing us, we can bury that son of a bitch together.”

“Leave him to fend for himself against all the people he’s burned.” You agreed. 

She shooed you two away and said that you had forty eight hours. You and Ray went back to his office and were comparing the images from your thumb drive.

You pointed out the height differences. Dex had at least two inches on Matt. You showed the difference in jaw shape. Dex’s was more square compared to Matt’s rounded chin. The facial hair difference was clear. Dex stayed clean shaven while Matt opted for light scruff. Their builds were different too, slightly broader shoulders and a narrower waist on Matt. With the photos in front of him, Ray couldn’t deny that they were two different men.

Throughout the day, you learned that the FBI had raided a workshop where Melvin Potter was working, a man who had helped make suits and protection for Fisk. But that was the same man that made yours, Matt’s and now Dex’s suits. You heard talk of a second man there, but only Melvin was in custody. You felt terrible, knowing that when you went to Melvin on your own for help he was more than willing. Now, there was nothing you could do for him because Matt went without you.

You skipped going with Ray to talk to Fisk that night. You told him you didn’t want to see or hear anything from him. You didn’t feel like dealing with more lies so you just headed home. Ray asked if you wanted to come to a small promotion party, just so you didn’t have to be alone, but you politely declined.

You were just getting to your building when you got a call from Maggie asking if you knew where Matt had gone. You answered honestly, that you had no idea but you’d find him. You opened yourself to his emotions and found him, still on his way to wherever he was going. You hurried across town, stopping a few houses down from here you thought you tracked him to. You stripped off your jacket and button-up, threw on your long-sleeve top, and grabbed the mask and Bites from your glove box before hurrying to the right house.

“I’m Daredevil.. The real one.” Matt said when you got into the room. You hurried across and pulled him back by his shoulders to get him off Ray.

“Are you insane?” You asked quietly.

“You don’t look like-“ Ray began.

“I buried the red suit.” Matt cut in. “The man who attacked the Bulletin, he resurrected it.”

“You do, however, match the description of a guy who’s been tuning up FBI agents. Does Agent Alivia Yersova ring a bell?” Your head snapped to Ray as he continued. “Heard she kicked your ass so bad you ran off. Maybe I should call her.”

You smirked slightly and Matt threw a discreet elbow into your arm.

“It was the last thing I wanted, but you people-“ He pointed a finger in Ray’s face. You reached over and pulled his hand down, bending his finger back slightly to earn a groan. “-didn’t leave me any choice. If you’d just wake the hell up instead of playing into Fisk’s hands. He’s using you, and I think you know it.”

“You went after the guy at the Bulletin.” Ray turned to you. “You didn’t hesitate. Didn’t even look at the other agents in that stairwell. Why?”

“Because I know who my partner is.” You put a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “And I know who my enemies are. He would’ve killed you too, Agent Nadeem.”

“Who do you think the real danger is here?” Matt added. “Me or him?”

The conversation paused for a minute while Ray had to redirect his son back upstairs.

“Let’s say I believe the two that just broke into my house.” Ray said tightly. “What do you got?”

“The man who attacked the Bulletin dressed as Daredevil… He’s in the FBI.” Matt answered and you felt your blood rush down to your feet.

“What?” You asked quietly. “How do you know?” Matt looked over at you. “How do you know?”

“I found the man that made the suit. He told me that he didn’t know his name, but he knew he was in the FBI. So tell me, which of your agents has Fisk been especially interested in?”

You zoned out for the rest of the conversation. When you got a chance, you snuck out the door. You were quick to change and get back in your car. Instead of going home and ignoring it, you drove to the church. You headed downstairs and waited on the small bed until Matt got there.

“You already knew, didn’t you?” Matt challenged as he stepped inside, tossing his mask across the room while he went to wash his hands.

“You were supposed to wait for me.” You countered.

“Who is he?”

“Why would you think I know?” You stood.

“Who is he, Alivia?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re lying.” He turned to face you.

“Am I?” You tilted your head with a slight squint. “Or is it that you can’t tell so you’re trying to trap me?”

“Why are you protecting him?” He shouted and your jaw clenched. The worst part was that you didn’t know how to answer that.

You didn’t know if you were or if it was to protect Matt. If you took down Fisk, Dex would go down too. Start at the top and the bottom crumbles. Matt couldn’t face Dex on his own. He’d already proven that. He needed your help, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“I’m trying to protect you but you won’t listen to me!”

“Listen to you? Listen to you? Livia, you’ve been lying to me! Why should I listen?”

“Cause you already know you can’t beat him without me.” You said simply, trying to gain some composure. “Whether or not you know his name, he will beat you every time. Next time, he will probably kill you.”

“Why didn’t you stop it?”

“How was I supposed to do that?” You scoffed. 

“You know how. It gets you everything you want, doesn’t it?”

“What, this?” You raised your brows and pulled fear to Matt’s surface, watching him cough and choke slightly before clearing it away. “I can’t control everyone.”

“That’s how you knew how to beat him.” He continued and you didn’t bother arguing. “Because you know exactly who he is.”

“I have an idea.” You said carefully.

“Don’t bullshit me, Livia. You know.”

You didn’t know why you were protecting Dex, but you couldn’t bring yourself to throw his name out there. Maybe it was your own pride. You wanted to take him down yourself. Maybe it was just some loyalty to him as a partner or some pathetic hope that some sliver of a redeemable man was left.

“I don’t have any proof.” You said, which wasn’t a lie. But you did know how to get it.

“Y’know, I knew you were a good liar, but I didn’t think you’d lie to me.”

“Are you seriously talking to me about lying?” You laughed in disbelief. “You lied for how long about being dead?”

“That’s not the same!”

“No, you’re right. It’s worse!”

“My lie didn’t kill anyone!”

“It almost killed me.” You admitted. His brows furrowed as he faced you, trying to figure out what you meant. “The night after Midland, I thought about drowning myself in the tub. Almost did it, too. And the scar on my wrist that you were so interested in last night? Gunshot, nearly bled out from it. I almost died at the carousel because I didn’t care what happened to me.”

“I didn’t make you do that.” He said quietly.

“You didn't make me… You’re right. You didn’t. But you weren’t here to stop me either. And that was your choice. You always knew where to find me, Matt. But you hid out down here.”

“I’m not the one that can make people feel what she wants. You could’ve stopped them from trying to kill you. You could’ve stopped all of this!”

“You aren’t listening to me! You never listen to me!” You shouted and pushed him by his chest. “I only let my powers go so far, because if I don’t, then nothing‘s real.”

“How far did they go with me?” He asked suddenly, and the question seemed to shock him as much as it did you.

Matt realized it immediately after he said it. That was what he was looking for the night before. When he was thinking of what to say that’d be hurtful enough to break her, to push her away for good. It was the idea of challenging the validity of the relationship they had. He let out a small sigh when he realized that what he said had done more than hurt her. It shattered whatever was left of her heart, whatever had just been putting itself back together.

“What?” You asked softly.

“Was it ever real? My feelings for you.” He didn’t know why he kept going, but he did.

“Did you love me when I wasn’t around?” Your eyes fell to the floor as you backed away, a sharp pain stemming from your chest. “Did you still care about me before I came back?”

“Yeah…”

You swallowed the stinging sensation that was climbing your throat and lifted your eyes to Matt, taking careful steps forward. “Did you ever question it before you knew what I could do?”

He shook his head.

“There’s your answer… The worst part of my powers is not really knowing if I’m messing with someone or if it’s real. But I guess I know what it is with you. And I really wanted everything with us to be real. I was as honest as I knew how to be when it came to you, but you still can’t trust me.”

“Livia, wait.” Matt realized he couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t let her leave with that kind of hurt, not when it was his fault.

“No. No, you don’t get to try and pull a punch you’ve already thrown. You can’t backtrack this time..” You shook your head and turned to leave. 

“I didn’t mean it, Livvy, please.”

“You always say what you mean, Matt. After everything I’ve done, I thought you would’ve trusted me by now. But y’know what, fine. You wanna be alone? Be alone.”

You turned on your heels and were storming towards the stairs to leave when you felt his hand on your wrist. You reached over with your free hand and twisted his arm over as you stepped underneath and behind him. You kicked out his front knee and forced him down, quickly moving one hand to press at the base of his shoulder. You pulled your knee back and as you drove it forward, his other hand came up to block it. You pulled your foot back again but threw it for a kick this time, only to have Matt catch it by your ankle.

He yanked your forward and you went stumbling, releasing his arm so your hands could catch yourself on the nearest marble statue.

“Would you just listen to me?” He tried as he got to his feet.

“Like you’ve been listening to me?” You laughed. “Like you listened when I begged you not to stay under Midland?”

“How many times do I have to apologize for that?” He asked loudly, throwing his hands to the side.

“I don’t want your apology. I want you to admit you were wrong.”

“I did what I thought would be better for you.”

You let out a loud sound of frustration and moved at him. You threw a roundhouse that he leaned away from but your momentum carried you around so you spun and shot a back kick that landed against his chest. As he stumbled, you did a quick shuffle to replace your feet and reset yourself to face him. Left jab that he knocked away. Right hook that he ducked. A small growl sounded from deep in your throat as you walked in a small circle around him. He kept his hands up in anticipation as he spun with you, trying to keep you in front of him.

“You think all of this is easy for me?” You asked plainly, feeling every inch of your skin burning with your newly soaked anger. “Easy having you alive. Easy having to go against someone I work with, someone who helped save my life. Karen and Foggy and Lantom and Maggie, all of them wanted me to build bonds and create relationships with people so I wasn’t alone anymore. Well, look where it got me!”

“This is why I stayed away, Livia.” He tried.

“Bullshit.” You scoffed. “You were being selfish.”

“I knew you had a good life. I knew I would only mess it up.”

“You didn’t mess up my life by coming back. You messed it up when you left, when you betrayed me.”

His hands faltered and you used it to your advantage. You moved quickly and slammed a knee against his chest. It forced him back and he grabbed both of your upper arms to keep you close.

“I couldn’t have betrayed you.” He spoke with a gentle firmness, an honest plea for you to believe him. “I never meant to-“

“What we do isn’t an accident! You don’t accidentally stay under a falling building for your ex-girlfriend. You don’t accidentally stay away from your actual girlfriend for months. You don’t accidentally tell someone that you never really trusted them!”

“You think I ever wanted to hurt you?” He countered. “After knowing where you came from, what you were supposed to be and what your mission was, I thought it was only a matter of time before you hurt me.”

“You think I never sat there and wondered if you were pretending? I never thought I was worth anything more than a bullet.”

“I’ve cared about you since we met, Livia. You were always worth that.”

“I wasn’t!” You placed the other foot against the wall and kicked off , turning you two so you could slam him to the ground. “I loved you!”

“And I still love you! It was real. I know it was. I know it because you brought something to my life that I can’t stand the thought of losing.”

“Then why would you ask if it was real?” You asked softly, heart twisting in your chest.

“I don’t know.” He admitted with a sigh.

“Liar!” You shouted and slammed a fist down.

He moved his head so your fist hit the ground and the impact jolted up your arm. You threw the punch again and again, hitting the same spot in the concrete until Matt rolled you two up to a sitting position. He put his hands on either side of your face in an effort to force your attention to him. He made a small noise of discomfort when his palms met your skin, likely due to the heat still radiating off you.

One hand was shaking, knuckles bruised and bloody from assaulting the hard ground, while the other gingerly held your injury. Reluctantly, your eyes met Matt’s and even though it seemed like he was looking through you, you knew he was focused on you.

“I was convinced…” He began softly and the gentle tone made the heat slowly dissipate. “I thought that I had to hurt you so you would leave. But I… I couldn’t do it, Livia. I just couldn’t.”

“But you did.” You answered, your voice small and distant. You leaned away and got to your feet, ignoring the disappointment that you could feel coming from him.

Without another word, you left him on the floor.

The next day went about as expected. Ray was looking into a few agents, but he wouldn’t tell you much. You watched from the media room as he flipped through files before pulling the camera log from the wall behind him. You knew he had to have found the time when Dex had turned the cameras off, likely finding a time when you went in after him. You waited until Ray hurried out of the room before you followed. You claimed you were feeling dizzy from the head injury you had gotten at the Bulletin incident so no one tried to stop you. Instead, you grabbed your duffle from the trunk and took off.

You changed your work shirt for your vigilante top in the closest alleyway after following Ray’s car, waiting to watch him for a minute while you fitted your mask into place. He stood in the alley by himself for a minute, but you and Matt joined him at the same time.

“What’s his name?” Matt asked simply, turning his head towards your presence but saying nothing.

“I need to be sure about you two. You guys have a history of hurting people.” Ray said firmly, looking between you both.

“I want Fisk in prison.” You said honestly. “I don’t want to kill your agent, but if he insists on being in my way, I will go through him.”

“I’m not handing you a federal agent if you’re gonna kill him.”

“I’ll get to him whether you give him to me or not.” You stepped closer to Ray but Matt grabbed your wrist. You turned to face him as your skin grew warm. “Get your hand off me.”

“What happened to partners?” Matt asked quietly.

“That would mean you trust me.”

“C’mon, Ex. If this is about last night-”

“If you’re right about him, taking Fisk down is our job.” Ray cut in.

“Oh really?” Matt said flatly so you yanked your arm back. “Because we all know where he’s sleeping these days. But I understand.. If there’s one thing we agree on, Nadeem, it’s the greater good. Like house incarceration in exchange for good intel.”

“Not everyone will like the choices we make.” You added, keeping your voice level. “But it’s up to us to make those choices.”

Matt turned to you. “Sometimes you have to hurt one person to save them, and others.”

“Oh please.” You scoffed. “Just tell us the name, Agent.”

“I need your word that you won’t touch him.” Ray tried and you felt bad.

Dex was someone that Ray had trusted, someone Ray had worked with for a long time. Dex knew Ray’s family and they were friends. They were supposed to look out for each other. But now they found themselves on opposite sides of the law with vigilantes going after them. You wished there was a better way but you had to get Dex away from Fisk, otherwise you’d never lock the bastard back up.

“Our word can’t mean anything to you.” Matt reasoned.

“But I need to hear you give it.” Ray insisted. 

“I need him to testify against Fisk, so you got it.” Matt said simply. “Her, too.”

“You don’t speak for me.” You countered. “But you won’t convince him to switch sides. Fisk has played too many games with him. One more switch and he snaps.”

“You know who he is?” Ray asked you and you gave a small shrug.

“It’s not hard to connect dots if you pay attention.”

“We’ll slip into his place, look for any evidence that ties him to the attack on the Bulletin and to Fisk.” Ray offered, clearly looking for a way to save Dex. “If we find any, we leave it where it is.”

“You can get around a search warrant if we set off the fire alarm.”

“Exactly. But if we don't find anything, the guy goes on with his life.”

“Spit it out.” Matt said plainly. “Who is he?”

You wondered if this attitude was due to your most recent conversation or if that was just who he was, and the softer night you two had was just a lapse in judgment. His accusations from the night before made you wonder if, subconsciously, you had manipulated Matt into that tender moment. Maybe the man you met in college truly was gone.

Maybe only the Devil remained.

“Special Agent Ben Poindexter.” Ray said tightly and you let out a small sigh.

Matt turned towards you and you knew there was accusation in his expression. He had to have remembered the name from when you talked about Dex before Midland Circle, when you were at Anvil and waiting to hear from the FBI. It had to have clicked in his head why you hid his identity. 

Dex was your partner, your friend. He was there for you while Matt was gone. He wanted to fault you for it, and while he didn’t appreciate you hiding that from him, he wasn’t going to bring it up then.

Later that night, you were waiting for Matt on Dex’s fire escape.

You slid open the window when he got there and he moved to let Ray in the front door. You let them wander the apartment while you moved towards the safe in the closet. If he was keeping the suit in his place, that’s where it’d be.

“I can’t call a crew to crack that.” Ray sighed.

Matt moved forward and got to work on it.

“I know the combination. You don’t have to-” You spoke loudly, but Matt ignored you. “And you’re doing it anyway, Great.”

“Wait, he can do that?” Ray asked with wide eyes.

“Not if you two keep talking.” He answered tightly.

You mocked him quietly and tapped your mask. You let it load up before leaning closer to the safe. Your eyes searched each shelf but found nothing out of the ordinary.

“It’s not there.” You said quietly as Matt got the door unlocked.

The boys looked through the safe and found nothing they could use. You were turning to leave when you heard the click of a tape player. Turning back, you saw Matt with Dex’s cassette player in hand as one of his old therapy tapes played.

You sighed slightly and felt a sudden spike of panic.

“What did you leave Poindexter doing?” You asked Ray when you realized it was coming from the direction of the bureau. Your implant pinged in your head and you had a feeling it was Dex. But you couldn’t answer it in front of Ray, so you had to leave it alone.

“Talking to an attorney about a wrongful termination suit. Why?” Ray answered as Matt went through more tapes.

“Because something is going very wrong. He’s about to break.”

As they listened to more and more tapes, you paced the apartment anxiously. The longer you were there, the closer that panic and instability got. When Matt looked towards the door, you tapped your mask and saw Dex coming down the hall.

“Убирайся.” You told them, giving Matt a shove. “Both of you. Out, now. He’s here.”(Get out.)

“You should go.” Matt told Ray.

“No, we had a deal. No evidence means you two don’t touch him!” He insisted.

“I found evidence.” Matt tried.

You groaned slightly as the two argued back and forth. You cracked the door slightly and saw Dex pulling glass adornments off the nearest light fixture. You cursed yourself quietly and shut the door again before grabbing both men by the collars and shoving them out the window.

“Go, now.” You said firmly. “I’ve got the best chance if we’ve gotta fight him.”

“What- Fight him? You said-“ Ray tried but you raised a hand and forced fear to the surface to get him to run.

“Make sure he gets out of here.” You told Matt when he hesitated. “Don’t make me make you.”

“Ex, don’t.” He tried but you did the same to him. But instead of fear, you pulled his betrayal to the surface.

Matt knew it was you. He knew what he was feeling wasn’t that serious. It wasn’t enough to make him abandon you, to leave you to stand against Poindexter on your own. But that didn’t make the urge any easier to fight. So he ran.

When you heard the door sneaking open, you moved the fire escape and pressed your back against the wall. You pulled a knife from your belt and angled it so you could watch his movements. He crept through his apartment carefully, noting the misplaced items and tapes scattered across the table.

“Show yourself.” He called out and you glanced above to find Matt and Ray, but you found no one. It made you wish you had stuck Matt with another comms piece, but blind faith would have to do for the moment. “I know you’re out there.”

One of the glass sticks came flying out and bounced off the railing in front of to knock into your blade. You gasped slightly and stuck your foot out so it landed against you rather than the metal of the fire escape.

“I can see you.” He called as you knelt to pick it up.

“How can you see me from over there?” You answered as you stood carefully. With a blade in one hand, you pulled your gun with the other.

“I was lying. Did you really fall for that?” He replied and you made a face to yourself before stepping out. 

Your gun was raised and the hand with the knife braced your wrist. He stood tense with another piece in hand and ready to throw.

“Well done. Not many people are bold enough to lie to me. What’s your name?” You asked.

“You first, then maybe I’ll do the same.” He nodded towards you.

“Nice try.” You smiled. “But two can play this game, and I have a feeling that I’m better at it than you are.”

“Don’t be so modest. I know you’re that vigilante. Let’s be honest here. You’re Exodus.” His body language relaxed a little as you stared him down, picturing the tension fall away like melted snow. “Badass out in Hell’s Kitchen. Unmatched so far, witty, and brains behind some of the best strategies he’s seen.”

“If you’re looking for a mentor, Dex, I can make sure your time is well spent. I can put you to better use than Fisk can. I’ve never been to prison so it’s not like I’ve gotten caught.”

“That’s your plan?” He chuckled in disbelief. “You and me, best friends?”

“We’ll see how it ends.” You shrugged.

“Okay.” He scoffed. “Wait.. How’d you know my name?”

“I’ve done my research. Ever since you attacked the Bulletin a few nights ago but didn’t kill me and you bragged like you knew me. Like you knew my story with the real Daredevil. I wanted to know who I would be up against. You’re good, I’ll admit it. Fisk made a good choice in picking you, an elite FBI SWAT sniper. And your partner, Alivia. She had some nice words to say, but she’s worried about you.”

“Livia?” His brows furrowed and the tension rose again. “What did you do to her?”

“We just talked. She wants to save you from yourself.”

“That why she didn’t answer her phone? Did you hurt her?”

“No. But she is a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” You offered a wicked smile and his anger grew sharply.

“Leave her out of this.”

“Should I leave Julie out of it, too?” You mocked.

“What did you do to her?” He shouted.

“Nothing.” You answered innocently. “Yet.”

His head cocked as he silently questioned if you were serious. You took the chance to fire a bullet just over his shoulder, close enough to graze the material of his jacket. When he dropped to the floor, you rushed up the fire escape and slipped into the apartment above. You found Matt and Ray and were able to get them to the ground just as the bullets came in.

“The shot came from across the alley.” Ray said through heavy breathing. Looking over, you saw he was hit.

You were quick to kneel beside him and pull off a glove. You looked to Matt and took in his anger so you could push it to the palm of your hand. You pressed the palm against Ray’s side and he groaned loudly as the faint smell of burnt skin permeated the apartment. It wouldn’t heal the wound but it would at least slow the bleeding.

“I think it came from downstairs.” Matt countered.

“He’s ricocheting the bullets.” You confirmed, ignoring the look Ray gave you. “I’ve seen him do it a hundred times. If he can see you, he can hit you.”

Matt threw a newspaper and rolled to the other side, hiding behind a bookcase. He was talking to you about how many shots Dex had left and the fact that the cops were called when you looked around and realized something. Even from your angle behind the sofa, you could see Matt in the mirror on the door.

“The mirror.” You said to yourself and Ray noticed it at the same time.

You looked around and found a book on the coffee table. You pulled your arm back and threw it as hard as you could against the mirror, watching the reflective surface shatter when the next round of bullets came in. When Matt said to run, you helped Ray out the door before sliding to sit under the window sill. Using your mask to see the floor below, you saw Dex moving to the fire escape.

You pushed Matt out first and as you were climbing out, you saw Dex coming up the steps. You grabbed both railings and kicked both feet against his chest to send your partner tumbling back down. Matt turned around but you pushed for him to keep going. You heard the climbing stop below you just before Matt grabbed your arms and switched positions so he could block the glass sticks being thrown with a trash can lid. 

You two were reaching the roof when one piece came up and cut the strap of your mask, nicking your ear in the process. You grabbed the railing and leaned over to catch it, only to make eye contact with Dex. His arm was already drawn back to throw another one but he froze, eyes wide as he saw you.

You could see him mouth your name but you were too far away to hear it. But you weren’t far enough to miss the heavy hit of betrayal against your chest. You didn’t know what to do but when you saw Dex’s features illuminated by the police flashlights, you snapped from your daze and hurried onto the roof. You paced the area in a panic with your mask tightly in your fist.

“Hey.” Matt said when he realized what was happening. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“He knows.” You said quickly. “He knows who I am.”

[sunflowersandsapphires]

I saw something in the fandom that made me upset and I need to rant about it. It’ll be below the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

I cropped the name off of this post because I am not trying to start drama, but I found this under the “Matt Murdock x Reader” tag and found it INCREDIBLY disheartening to go through to comments/reblogs and see how many people agreed.

I am in no way trying to dispute the fact that fandom spaces and self-insert fanfiction is heavily white washed/influenced by white writers. As a white woman myself, I catch many little slip ups in my own work that make my writing less accessible than I want it to be. I understand being frustrated that there aren’t many stories where you feel your appearance has been considered.

However: fanfiction, fanart, gif making and coloring, edits, and other forms of fan-made-content are usually completely free to access. No one is entitled to them—they are a privilege, not a right. Which means that people are allowed to write whatever characters they want, even if it’s not completely unique or what you want to read.

My issue is with OP’s critiques of weak/feminine/sweet/innocent readers and the way they voiced their opinion (again, not disputing the appearance stuff). I know that many readers are sweet or innocent, but as someone who is rarely given the space to be the “damsel in distress” so to speak, I enjoy writing characters who are taken care of and protected. Regardless of my or any other writer’s reasoning for writing the characters this way, we are allowed to do that. It’s our fucking work.

If you don’t like something, no one is forcing you to read it. If you notice a lack of fics that appeal to you, write some yourself. It is inconsiderate to chastise people spending hours of their free time to give you content that you can enjoy just because it’s not exactly what you want to see.

Also, don’t threaten to block me if you don’t like how I write. Just block me. It is your responsibility to curate an enjoyable experience on this app, not everyone else’s.

In summary: I am not trying to say that fandom is perfect or inclusive or that critiques of my writing aren’t welcome. This person can have whatever opinions they like and are welcome to post them on their blog. I would just like to point out that the delivery could’ve been more polite and that authors don’t need to change the plots/characters’ personalities they write just because others aren’t happy with the outcome.

[mitch0id]

i think i kinda like digital art, so here’s a little doodle dump

[callixton]

just thought abt the rising popularity of using afab!reader instead of literally any other descriptor as if having a vagina is an inherently afab trait and made myself mad

[gins-stim-emporium]

self indulgent matt murdock (daredevil) stimboard (with lots of summer themed stims) !

ice cream / pinkies / dog training

firefly / ☕️ / koi pond

boquet / jumpy stim / wave pool

[akariamai]

Chamomile Tea

Part 1

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Black Widow!Reader

Word Count: 1112

Steam seeped from the porcelain cup, filled to the rim with your Chamomile tea, as you waited for your neighbor to arrive. The table you choose was not made out of thoughtlessness. It was deliberate and precise. The chairs near the table held the same preference. You needed to see the exits of the room, the people walking in and out of the coffee shop, and be slightly hidden away from the world. 

The Red Room taught you to be hyper vigilant. To be aware of your surroundings every waking moment of your life. Danger can lurk at every corner of the world. Slowly whisking you away from the little sanity you clasps to.

Last night left you vulnerable. You lost your head for a second, yelling at the woman you’ve all but forgotten. Forgetting the world around you, the man beneath your floor. Facing her was so unexpected and so painful. She was there for a moment and then gone the next. She should’ve never come back to reconcile when there was nothing left to fix. The pieces left were far too small to mend. 

Matt, once she had climbed out of your window, came to comfort you in such a way where you wouldn’t feel unease. He sat closely to you but not so close that his shoulders could touch yours if he wasn’t comfortable. He waited for you to reach out to him. Matt truly was a saint. He was patient with you. He didn’t pressure you to talk unless you felt you could open up to him.

You saw him through one of the semi-dirty windows near the front of the building. He was making his way towards the sliding doors of the coffee shop. Tilting his head before heading towards the line to order. He must’ve smelled your Chamomile tea or the fragrance you generously sprinkle onto your body because once he ordered, he walked straight towards your direction. Although there were other ways where he could’ve found you, his sense of smell only being one of them. He could’ve merely asked the staff once he finished ordering if a person similar to you was waiting in the shop and pointed him in your direction. 

He made his way towards you, careful not to go too fast, without knocking into anything or anyone. His hands made it towards the chair in front of you and asked, “[Reader] is that you?”

Your first natural response is to nod but nodding will do nothing but make him laugh. You reassured, “Yeah, it’s me.” Taking a sip from your tea, the gentle touch of the notes of apple and a mellow sweetness exploded your taste buds with flavor. “What’d you get?” It was a blatant attempt at ignoring the vulnerability you’d shown last night.

“I ordered a cup of coffee and a glazed donut.” He knew not to push where he shouldn’t. He spent months comprehending the slight substantial changes in your body and registering them to how you were feeling. It was quite difficult especially when he couldn’t read you like others. You were a complete mystery and you so readily intrigued him.

There were questions he wished to ask. ‘Who was she?’ ‘How do you feel?’ ‘How can I help you?’ ‘Why do you push me away when you clearly need someone?’ Granted he was not the best for accepting help nor was he the best at keeping his feelings in check. He wanted to do right to the world, bloodying his hands to do it, and keep the people he cherishes safe from harm. Somehow you had wormed your way into his heart and carved a place there for only you to fill.

He’d never tell you this, however, his past relationships had never held on for too long. He’d either lose them due to his extra-curricular activities or in the death of his beloved. Heartbreak always awaited him in the end. It was like he was cursed to walk the path of vigilantism alone.

“She was someone I considered a sister…” You paused, “when I was younger. More naive to the world around me.” She suffered the same fate as you before she left without warning. The hurt did not come from leaving suddenly or being left in the dark but for not sending help for the rest. The inability to begin the complete and utter annihilation of the Red Room. “I was taken to a vile place when I was a child. Too young to remember the face of my mother or share any memories of anything but blood and weapons.”

His heart ached for you and your lost childhood. He could feel the wave of sorrow spilling out of you and you confessed to him snippets of your past. It was more than he had hoped for. 

“One day, she vanished without a word. It was a place where hope could not enter but when word spread of an escape, it rushed in like smoke. That pinch of happiness was all we had. Someone might finally save us but no one ever did and that happiness disappeared like it was never there.”

He could feel tears pooling into your eyes but they refused to fall. He could tell you were holding them in but he stayed quiet. “I’ll never forgive her for not trying. For giving up on us the moment she tasted freedom.”

Matt placed his hand, palming facing the ceiling, waiting for you to choose to take his hand. It was the only way he knew how to comfort you. A gentle smile worked his way onto his lips as he felt your hand inch closer to his. Your hand was rough, the bumps of scars littered all over, and your grip was light. You had suffered all this time and had only now had the time to process such a revelation.

“You don’t have to.” He believed in forgiveness but could not pressure anyone to come to that resolution. It was a path walked alone. The road to be able to forgive is not an easy one. It was taxing and tiresome. Even he, a self-proclaimed man of god, still found it hard to reach the absolution of forgiveness. 

“Thank you.” Your lips whispered into the air almost silent enough for his ears wouldn’t pick it up without his senses. He slightly tightened his grip, letting you know he could be someone you could depend on. That you were not alone in your journey to recovery, whatever form it takes. He wants to stay by your side through it all and maybe even learn more of what remained of your past.

Masterlist

[fandom-friday]

Pound the Table by An_October_Daye (https://archiveofourown.org/works/32633056/chapters/80950963) X-Men. "There is an old adage among lawyers that says: If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the law on your side, pound the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, pound the table." – Martin A. Davis, Jr. Mutant law is an emergent filed, more or less the wild west of the legal profession. And when your list of recurring clients are the Weilder of Cerebro and the Master of Magnetism? Well… suffice to say, there is plenty of pounding the table to be done. A 90’s era Self-Insert where she is a lawyer. This is really well done and the I love how the world is fleshed out! One thing I love when I read this is to try and catch all the Marvel references. As someone who loves Marvel and grew up with the 90’s cartoons, this is great!

Look, you had me at "90's Era X-Men" because as a child of the 90's, that's just ALL OF THE NOSTALGIA. And the tag "Law & Order But With Mutants"? CHECKING A LOT OF MY BOXES hahaha. Thanks so much for sending this one in! it seems super fun!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[daggers4you]

!!!

[allmyhomieshatelawns]

just a little bit from a self-insert symbiote MCU crossover disaster that is already WAY too bloated so i might end up cutting this even tho i think it’s funny af. like it’s funny, but i also know the Least amount Daredevil since i never saw the show or movie(s? is there multiple??). i’ve seen almost all the MCU movies, it’s only been recently i’ve dropped the ball since they decided quantity over quality and churned stuff out at a nauseating rate for me to keep up with. i hope you enjoy the snippet of chaos

From my fanfiction Benevolent Possession, Chapter 5: Settling In:

Finally tuning into the world around us again, I could register voices shouting.

“—notion that would do that, really?!”

“Well, what do you want me to say? ‘Never thought it was a good idea to approach an alien so casually’? None of it sounds good!”

“My collarbone is broken! And you’re concerned about sounding racist?!”

“Do you want them to finish the job? I don’t think they did it on purpose. They collapsed when they hit you. You’re right about them having a fever at least.” Matt was trying to be the voice of reason, while Frank was blustering, trying to calm his breathing. Matt did not seem like he fit the whole “voice of reason” shtick. Their secretary was notably absent.

[m-ercutios]

i thought i was over shipping my ocs with canon characters but i was dragged back into the daredevil fandom and now 👀

[petertingle-yipyip]

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Season Three - Lavender Haze

tags: @americaarse @dusstory @ironprincessstranger @johnmurphys-sass @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @woowwwee // three // five // masterlist

Pairing: Matt x Livia, Dex x Livia

Word Count: 9,303

Summary: Betrayal and reunions. For Exodus, seems one can’t exist without the other. All relationships are tested when it all turns into something bigger.

You and Karen took a seat at one of the pews closest to the side door. You were waiting for either Sister Maggie or Father Lantom, knowing one of them would be the best bet to talk to about Matt. He knew at least one of them would’ve sworn everyone else to secrecy, but they would talk to you.

They were always willing to talk to you, but you never quite knew if it was for your sake or Matt’s.

The idea of seeing Matt again, inside a place you so frequently visited. To know he was right there the entire time, the thought let the red haze tease your vision. You dropped your head and closed your eyes and to anyone else, the sight would’ve looked like you were praying. Rather, you were trying to settle the sparking heat of anger that was urging you to take off your jacket.

“Sister Maggie?” Karen said suddenly, leaving your side and your attention snapped up. All remnants of the red gone.

“Can I help you?” She asked politely, but you seemed to steal her attention as you stood by Karen’s side. “Alivia... It’s nice to see you inside finally.”

You gave a polite smile in return.

“Still doesn’t smell like cinnamon but…” You gave a small shrug. “We were actually hoping that Matt Murdock was here.”

She shook her head slightly. “No, he’s not.”

“Right.” You said with a small nod. “I wasn’t so sure anyways.. Thank you.”

“Livia, wait.” Karen reached for you.

“No, it’s fine. I can do it without him. Just.. Text me where to go and I’ll handle it.”

“Alivia.” Sister Maggie called behind you.

“Thanks for your time, Sister. I’ll see you next time.”

“Will you wait for just a minute?” She insisted. You sighed heavily and cursed yourself mentally before you turned to face her. “It wears you out, doesn’t it? Trying to save him from himself.”

“Considering I’ve only seen him once and he didn’t really care to talk or explain anything, it’s not like he wants me around right now to begin with. And it’s funny when you think about it. He used to be the one trying to save me from myself … You know what he told me? That I’ve already mourned Matt Murdock so I shouldn’t care. How can he tell me I shouldn’t care?”

“When someone in need tries to push you away, you have to find the strength to hold on tighter… Everyone in Matthew’s life has abandoned him, even me. He needs someone who’ll stand by all his struggles and be there to pull him through on the other side. You have to keep pushing back, Alivia.”

“How can I do that when he won't come near me?” You shrugged with an exhausted sigh. “He’s intently visited everyone that mattered before Midland Circle except me.”

“You’re a smart and stubborn girl, Alivia. I’m sure you can find a way.”

Karen picked you up later that night. She refused to let you go alone so you climbed into the backseat with your duffel in hand. As she drove, you changed in the backseat. She told you what her plan was, for her to go in first as a buyer and make sure Evans was there. And even though you didn’t like the idea of her going in alone, you knew it’d be less dangerous than if you showed up in your mask. Instead, you found a decent vantage point to watch her go in after slipping one of your comms mics into her pocket, then you clicked your mask and implant to watch her venture inside.

The hand on your shoulder was the only thing that took your focus away.

You instantly dropped to the ground. Sweeping their legs from under them, you yanked one of the knives from your belt and raised it above your head to throw. When you turned to find a target, you found Matt laying on his back with hands up in surrender.

“Тебе повезло, что я тебя не убил. Опять же.” You groaned and bit the blade as you hauled Matt up. (You’re lucky I didn’t kill you. Again.)

“Yeah, missed you too, Livia.” He said with a small smile.

“Sure doesn’t seem that way.” You mumbled. “Besides, that’s not what I said.” You rolled your eyes and flipped your knife idly before tucking it away.

“I know.”

“You do understand that we still need to talk. Right? About all of it. You owe me that much.”

Before he could answer, you heard a male voice in your head. Listening carefully, you heard Karen say his name and a tight, almost threatening response.

You hurried into the room with Matt on your heels. You got to the room just in time as Karen threw an elbow at the person behind her. You yanked the man you assumed was Jasper by his shirt collar and threw him into Matt.

Two more men came after you two so you ran at the first one. You slammed into him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as something to hold on. You kicked out hard at the second one’s chest and used the movement to throw your legs back and your torso forward to slam the first man to his back. As you stood, one of the men went to get up so you threw a knee against his temple and he fell flat. You looked over at Karen, who offered a silent nod that she was okay.

“You knew his last known address and that he’d probably be here.” Karen said to Matt. “What were you waiting for?”

He turned his head to you but you scoffed slightly and crossed your arms. Either he was waiting for you to say something or you were what he was waiting for.

“You knew we’d come?” She kept going.

“I’d hoped.” Matt answered.

“But you couldn’t have come to me?” You said angrily. You moved to Matt, still knelt by Jasper’s side, and forced your foot against his chest, pushing him to his back and leaning your weight forward to keep him down. “You didn’t want to just talk to me?”

“I didn’t know if I could get to you.” He tried but you leaned forward more and he groaned slightly.

“I may not read heartbeats but I know when you’re full of shit.”

“How was I supposed to try? When Fisk has the FBI in his pocket.”

“Because we live together!” You said angrily. “Because I never was! Because I was at that goddamn church every day!”

“He could’ve had eyes on you the whole time. How was I supposed to know?”

“You never even tried!” Your voice broke as you yelled.

You felt a hand on your arm and turned quickly, only to see Karen with a concerned expression. Her eyes darted between yours and you knew by the colors lurking in your peripherals that your eyes were reflecting that bright, hot red. You gave in and let her pull you off Matt but once you were clear, you turned and slammed your fist through a nearby picture frame.

“I’ll help you, but after that, you need to help me and Foggy. The FBI is all over us and-“ Karen tried to explain quickly but you could feel her worry for you.

“You want me to turn myself in.” Matt cut in as he stood, rubbing the spot on his chest where your weight had been. You knew it didn’t hurt him. He was still built too well for just your weight to hurt.

“You talk to Foggy?”

“No, but it’s the smart move.. Sure, I’ll do it. I’ll turn myself in.” He turned towards you. “To you.”

“What?” Your brows raised quickly and you pushed your mask to the top of your head as if you wanted him to fully see your expression. “I’m not supposed to be involved with your investigation. It’s the one conflict of interest I can’t get around.”

“I won’t do it if I’m not turning myself in to you.” He said simply.

“They find out I’m anywhere near you and I’m done. Everything I’m working on is thrown away.”

“I thought you were an elite spy?” He tried to joke.

“It doesn’t matter. Even if you turn yourself in to me, I would still have to hand you over to Ray. It’s not my case.”

“Wait, what if they’ve figured out you’re… you?” Karen tried.

“Ray would’ve been hassling me a little more to figure out me if he knew anything.” You waved a hand, wincing as you felt the small glass shards shifting in your knuckles. Matt made a move for your hand but you crossed your arms, unintentionally pushing the broken pieces deeper into your skin.

“The mask doesn’t do me any good if I'm a wanted man either way.” Matt shrugged. “Besides, if the FBI figures out who I am, maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll lock me up next to Fisk.”

“Да, хороший пентхаус в президентском доме для Кухня дьявола ада.” You snorted to yourself and Matt chuckled. (Yeah, a nice penthouse at the Presidential for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.)

“Foggy said you were different, that you had changed. I thought it was bullshit but..”

“You’re acting a lot like me, Devil Boy.” You warned as you repositioned your mask. “Remember when I told you that you were gonna become just like the one person you didn’t wanna be?”

“Whatever.” He scoffed and you had the desire to kick him in his teeth. “We can’t take his statement here. Fisk’s lawyers will say it was coerced.”

“We’ll take him to the Bulletin.” Karen answered. “We get him on record in front of witnesses.. Besides, my editor is gonna wanna hear all this with his own ears.”

Matt yanked Jasper up and threw him into a nearby chair. You collected a bright yellow ball of fear in your palm and pushed it into his chest, watching him jerk awake in sudden terror. He moved to get out of the chair but you shoved a foot against his chest and forced him back. You held that position, leaning your weight forward as Matt came to your side. 

“It’s your lucky day. We’re gonna give you a choice.” Matt began. “Option one- I call the FBI and Fisk has you killed before you can tell ‘em how you got out of prison.”

“Trust me when I tell you that Fisk will be able to reach you, even from his penthouse.” You threatened, your accent tinting your voice as you leaned away. “Even with the FBI watching him.” 

“Option two- you tell this nice reporter the truth about what you did for Fisk and I’ll let you run someplace Fisk will never find you.”

“I can’t.” Jasper shook his head.

“Cool. Option one.” Matt shrugged and made a move but you shot your arm out to stop him. You shot him a pointed look and he simply pressed his lips together in a line.

“If I talk, Fisk kills my son!” Jasper panicked. “We had a good life before the neighborhood went down and I got myself put away… Left my son without a father and this is what he does with his life.”

“What makes you think Fisk would need you to talk to kill either of you?” You countered simply. “If that man feels even the slightest bit threatened by what you know, he won’t hesitate to kill you both.”

“If Fisk stays out of prison, a lot of innocent people are gonna die.” Karen said, a dark tone in her words. “So you can either tell my paper the truth and we let you and your son run far away or you can go back to prison and I print the story like you talked anyway.”

“You would lie and get us both killed?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, she’s pretty well protected.” You gestured to yourself and Matt.  “The way I see it, you are the one that needs our help.”

“If you three hadnt-“

“Shut up.” You groaned and leaned away, moving your foot off his chest. “What if I can guarantee your son gets out of town before anything happens?” You offered and you felt his panic slowly drop as he looked at you with wide eyes. “People in this town owe me some favors so I can have your son out of town tonight and you can follow right after you’re done. New names, new lives in a new place.”

“You would do that?” He asked gently. “I thought you didn’t give chances.”

“I’m not doing it for you.” You said honestly. “It’s a limited time offer that I will not extend again. I have no problem putting a bullet in your head if you back out or you take too long. Do we have a deal or not?”

The next morning, you and Foggy sat in the conference room as you waited for Ray. Your foot tapped quickly under the table and all you could think while Foggy and Ray talked was how different Matt really was. He was so much darker, so lost in his own head. You’d never seen him so miserable. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, whether he said it out loud or not, that thick slime of misery trailed behind him like footprints.

It was like he had forgotten everything about who he was.

Did you do that? Had your influence broken him?

No, you had been apart too long. There’s no way it was your fault.

“My client’s ready to submit to questioning.” Foggy explained before turning to you. “Under the condition that she’s the one to bring him in and is present during all interrogations.”

“She’s not allowed on this case.” Ray countered easily. “Conflict of interest.”

“I have a witness lined up that can help provide information on Mr. Murdock’s innocence.” You said honestly.

“Sounds like I’m being jerked around, Yersova.” Ray sighed. “You know you’re not supposed to be anywhere near this. I tell Hattley and you’re done.”

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“It’s too personal for you, Livia”

“It’s less about Murdock and more so about getting Fisk locked up again. I will hand Murdock over to you immediately, I swear. As long as he gets into your custody, does it really matter who he turns himself in to? I’m just there for the witness statement. Anything else that happens is out of my control. Besides, I’m the only one he knows isn’t playing Fisk’s games. I’m the only one at this bureau he trusts. Why not capitalize on that while you can?”

“You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”

“Yeah, it’s a running theme with me. Are we doing this or not? Cause if Murdock gets away, when he’s literally being handed over to you, that’s not on me. I’m sure Hattley will have a field day with that.”

With a heavy sigh and realizing you had him in a corner, Ray agreed. A weight lifted off your chest but a new one settled on your shoulders. While you made good on your end with Jasper, having called Natasha and asked her to help get some ducks in a row so the kid was out of town before the prior night ended, you were now worried about taking his statement. Fisk had to have eyes on Jasper to ensure something like that didn’t happen, that he didn’t open his mouth.

You knew something was coming. As someone who grew up knee deep in the blood of people who didn’t keep their mouths shut, you’d be lucky if you got two words out of Jasper before a bullet shut him up for good. Especially if a certain FBI SWAT sniper was involved.

Having returned to his hidden dwelling under his church, Matt was conversing with Sister Maggie and thinking. Every time he had spoken to Y/N since his return from the dead, it hasn’t been from him reaching out. It had been a matter of circumstance. But that didn’t stop one of her sentences from bouncing around his brain.

You never even tried!

The apartment was closer than the basement after he got out of the river. Karen brought her along when they confronted Jasper Evans. As far as Matt could control and despite the way it hurt, he wanted to keep her away. He didn’t try to reach her. In fact, he actively tried to stay away from her. Because he knew, no matter what was going on or who was trying to kill him or arrest him, he wouldn’t want to leave her side again once he returned.

Her life was going great without him, for the most part at least from what he understood. Whoever she was sleeping with. Her position at the FBI. No one trying to kill her. No secret to keep. Friends who cared about her. She had almost everything she ever wanted, everything she deserved.

Though, and he couldn’t admit it out loud, he was hoping there was still a part of her that wanted him.

Admittedly, he noticed something different in her demeanor. Something darker, empty. She didn’t feel quite the same but maybe that was due more to the change in Matt than her. Or that was a result of processing the grief and trauma from Midland Circle on her own.

As caring as Foggy and Karen could be, they just wouldn’t get it. The only person that probably would was Frank, and neither of them had heard from him in a while.

Despite it all, despite the protests in his head and all logic he had left, he wanted to be with her again. To feel her touch against his skin, more than while she beat on him - though he’d admit he deserved it. He wanted her sleepy voice, muttering some old song or just talking about whatever thought she had.

What he wouldn’t give to have his Livia back.

“This have anything to do with a certain fiery one with a couple scars that visits us?” Maggie teased with a knowing smile. 

“Alivia.” He said her name softly, like a secret only he knew. He smiled as he thought of her, coming all the way inside a place she didn’t care for just for him. “Yeah.. I’m meeting her.”

“She’s lovely. Temperamental, but lovely.”

“She is.” He chuckled lightly.

“She knows you’re Daredevil.”

“She does. Took a while of her fighting beside me for her to figure it out but….”

“But she sticks around? Sounds like a keeper.”

Matt couldn’t hide the grin.

“Yeah, she’s… She’s definitely more than a friend.” He agreed. “I really do love her.”

“Nice to hear you used the f-word and the l-word.” Maggie continued with a smile. “And to see you reconnecting.”

“No, we’re not..” He tried to explain but the wrenching feeling of his chest cut the words off. He had to remind himself to keep distance, to make it easier on Y/N. “She’s just helping me… I gotta turn myself in to the FBI and Livia is the only one I can trust.”

“Trust?” She nodded in thought. “Trusting someone usually means you care.”

“I do.” He agreed sadly. “I care about her more than anyone but.. I can’t just waltz back into her life like nothing happened. She wants answers and I can’t give them to her.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I can’t give her the answers she deserves.” He clarified before he cleared his throat, hoping to clear the growing tightness, and redirected the conversation. “I’ve been falsely accused. Gotta clear my name.”

“You mean Matt Murdock’s name.. If you’re leaving him behind, what does it matter?”

“My life is complicated enough without being a wanted fugitive… Besides if they look too deep, they’ll figure out me and then they figure out Livvy. I’m doing this to protect her.”

It had always been to protect Livia.

“Livvy…” She smiled slightly, seemingly proud of what she heard. “Careful, Matthew. Someone might think you’re still a bit soft under that hard exterior.” She joked lightly as she left.

Something about the day felt off as you sorted the duffel from your trunk. It was a looming anxiety and it wasn’t coming from you. It was stemming from a distant source. Lonely. Cold. Afraid. Panicked. It was the feeling of someone who had lost everything, who was at the end of their rope. Teetering the ledge, willing to plummet rather than be saved.

It sent a shiver down your spine but you pushed the sensations away to focus on the task at hand.

You doubted you’d have time to change into the full suit, so that and your pack, you left in the bag. You had access to a mask and a pair of Bites in your glove box. Under your shirt, you wore the discreet vest and fit your holster with one of your own guns, rather than your bureau issued piece. Your badge was in your jacket pocket and two knives sat at your back, tucked safely into your waistband. You slipped a couple discs into one boot and a smoke bomb into the other. Satisfied with your simple collection of gear, you grabbed your bag and headed to pick up Foggy.

“How do you feel?” He asked as you drove with the radio low.

“He hasn’t explained shit to me.” You said simply. “He’s avoided every real chance at a conversation and he’s definitely different.. He reminds me a lot of myself and I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel right.”

“Just give him some time. You are probably the one person that he can’t hide from for long.”

“It took him how long to admit to me he was Daredevil?”

“And it took how long for you to admit you were Exodus?”

“Are.”

“What?”

“I am Exodus.” You turned to him at a red light. “She’s not just gone because I don’t wear the suit as much.”

“Regardless.” Foggy said carefully, taken back by your words.

The determination was easy to recognize. There was no mistaking your intent. Exodus would never be the past for you, and the time without Matt - the way you let that side of yourself handle the fallout from Billy - was more than enough to recognize that you were more the vigilante than anything. 

“Matt’s not a criminal.” He continued as you drove. “FBI won’t have anything and it’ll expose Fisk. We all win.”

“Once this all blows over, I don’t think I’ll keep this job much longer.” You confessed.

“I thought you liked the FBI.”

“I do but it seems like.. Every path I take, I end up in the same situations. I always end up in a fight that puts the people in my life at risk… I don’t know, maybe it’s better if I take off again. Keeps everyone safe.”

“No.”

“No?”

“You don’t get to leave again.” Foggy said simply. “I’m still trying to get Matt back. You can’t leave.”

“Fog, c’mon.” You tried as you parked. “I have no place in the world.”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “You don’t get to go anywhere. Your place is here, with me and Karen and Matt. End of story.”

You smiled slightly as you got out of the car. Despite everything, your own lies and secrets and selfish behaviors, Foggy refused to turn his back on you. Nearly everyone had abandoned you, some you admittedly turned your back on first but still. No matter how hard you pushed, Foggy pushed right back into his spot.

That’s why he was your best friend.

You two walked into the Bulletin and the Foggy found Matt before you did. You stopped at the end of the hall and felt your heart jump to your throat. You felt Foggy’s hand on your elbow and you glanced over, catching his concerned expression.

“You okay?” He said softly.

“Yeah, uh.” You nodded and gathered yourself. “I’m just gonna call and check in with Ray.”

“Livia.” He gave a small frown.

“It’s not like he’s gonna talk to me anyway.” You offered a sad smile. “Sooner this gets done, the better it’s gonna be for everyone.”

“Sooner you talk to him, the better it’s gonna be for you.” He softly insisted.

You let out a sigh and watched Matt’s head turn. His eyebrows raised slightly and you knew he was listening to you. Your heart rate or breathing. Maybe he was listening for your voice. Either way, you gave him nothing. Your pulse and breathing were as steady as ever while you quietly left to another room. You felt Foggy’s demeanor fall as he went to sit with Matt.

Your conversation with Ray was short and sweet. It was clear that he wanted some sort of confirmation that you had Matt and Jasper, but you gave him neither simply for the fact that you couldn’t guarantee who was listening on his end. All you asked for was confirmation that his team was en route and that was exactly what you got.

Their conversation suddenly fell when you got back.

“Ray’s getting his team together. They should be here in less than ten.” You said simply, standing behind Foggy’s chair.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Foggy tried.

“You sure this FBI agent can be trusted?” Matt turned his head to you.

“He just wants the truth.” You said honestly. “He’s a good guy as far as I can tell.”

“Then yeah, I’m sure.” He nodded.

“Livia.” Foggy turned. “Say something.”

“He knows.” You looked to Matt, shutting down the sharp pang in the center of your chest. “He saw everything at the prison. That’s why you’re under investigation, why he put a spotlight on you.”

“Are you?” He asked, a worry in his tone that he tried to push away. “Under investigation.”

“Not yet, but I’m sure the SAC is looking for a reason.”

“Livia…”

“Matt.” You said sharply, maybe sharper than intended, but that didn’t seem to bother him.

He smiled slightly but the expression quickly fell away.

“What happened?”

“You mean how you died?.” You said flatly. “Well you pretended to at least. Or did you mean after that?”

“You know what I meant.”

“And yet you still don’t get it. Death doesn’t happen to you. You’re not the one dealing with the fallout. Death happens to everyone around you, to the people left standing in the rubble of that building wondering how the hell are they supposed to go on without you. And your death happened to the people that couldn’t even talk about it.”

“You’re right..”

“Don’t just agree with me.” You said angrily. “Argue with me. Defend yourself.”

“You wanna have an argument in the middle of the Bulletin?” His brows raised in accusation.

“I want you to show that you give a shit. I want you to acknowledge the fact that you don’t care about getting hurt, and you sure as hell don’t care when it hurts someone else.”

“You know I didn’t want to hurt you, Livvy.”

“But you did.”

“If there was another way, I would’ve-“

“There was.” You cut in sharply. “You could’ve left when everyone else did.. No one was recovered from the rubble because they couldn’t get deep enough. So as far as I’m concerned, there was no way out and you made it by some grace of your God. You didn’t have to stay down but you did. But you won’t admit that you were wrong.”

“At the time, I thought-“

“So where have you been?” You cut in again, not wanting to hear an excuse. “It’s been a very long time since you’ve been home, Matthew.”

“I thought you’d be safe.”

“So you were trying to protect me?” You laughed.

“I’ve always tried to protect you.”

“Well you didn’t. You left. You left like I was never a reason for you to stay.” You felt the sting in your chest grow sharper, begging for the attention that you weren’t giving it. Instead, it manifested as a waver in your voice as he stood and made a move around to come around Foggy’s chair.. “You left and I just let you. So really, it doesn’t matter how we choose to remember what happened between us. Because I know two things. One, that I was good and I loved you. And two, it just wasn’t enough.”

“Livia, you’ve always been enough.” Matt tried but something over his shoulder caught his attention. 

A wave of panic washed over you, disappearing as suddenly as it came, so you took a few steps to try and see something. Along with the panic you felt an empty sadistic pride, pride in the pain caused and a complete lack of empathy. What really worried you was the familiarity of that lack of empathy.

“Matty?” You tried, looking down the hall to where that feeling came from.

“Screaming.” He said simply, moments before the light cut off. 

“Он сломал его..” You said to yourself, realizing your fake offer to help Fisk wasn’t needed and that’s why he didn’t take it when you offered. (He broke him.)

“What?” Foggy jumped up. “What does that mean?”

“It means that this just went from bad to worse. Get to Karen, get as many people as you can, and get out of here.”

“Go help him. I’ll handle this.” Matt said, trying to push you to follow Foggy.

“Not a chance.” You pushed him off. “You can't handle this on your own. Trust me.”

Matt grabbed your arm and gave a small squeeze, feeling for the usual material of your vigilante top.

“You’re not dressed for this.” He said lowly as you yanked your arm away.

“Neither are you.” You countered in the same quiet tone as you pressed against his abdomen, revealing not the hard pad of his suit, but the firm feeling of his muscles. He gave a small groan when your hand hit a still healing wound. “Unless the Devil suddenly fights in a suit and tie.”

“Livia.” He tried.

“You’re gonna need me.” You said simply. “Keep him busy till I get there. And try not to die.”

You hurried out to your car, striping out of your FBI jacket and button-up. You threw the clothes in the back seat which left you in your vest from Melvin, your under arm holster, and a short sleeve black workout top underneath it all. You grabbed the mask and Bites from your glovebox. You hesitated at the Bites when you realized that the brace was too easy to recognize.

It was meant to absorb kickback from pulling a trigger and impact from hits, but if it truly was Dex, he would know it was you. It left your wrist vulnerable but you couldn’t risk it. You noticed your gym bag was still on the floor of your backseat. You dug through it for your wraps and quickly secured them into place, You threw the brace  in the back with your clothes and fit the mask to your face before rushing back into the building as you slipped the Bites over the wraps.

You threw the door open to the office space Karen was supposed to be when you saw him. Across the room, a familiar frame was sporting a very familiar look. He slowly turned to face you and it felt as if all the blood in your body drained out.

You expected to stand against Dex. From the second you knew Fisk wanted him, you didn’t have high hopes that you could keep him on your side. The man was a ticking time bomb from the start, and without you to keep the timer from running, it was a matter of time before you two were opposing forces.

But the fact that he wore Matt’s suit was what made you stop in your tracks.

“Thought you were dead.” You called across the room, watching his head tilt as your accent laced your words. “Been a long time, Red. I was starting to get lonely. Where’ve you been?”

He said nothing as the door was thrown open behind you. You watched as Dex smirked and pulled his arm back, a baton in hand. He launched the weapon across the room and you were quick to step in front of whoever came in after you, arms up to block your face as you braced for the impact. But the impact never came.

Lowering your arms, you saw the baton was caught by Matt. You released a small breath of relief before you shoved Foggy away. While the two boys were locked on each other, you took the chance to find a new angle.

You knew Dex was always better at a distance. He was strong but ricochets and projectiles were his strong suits. All you had to do was get in close. You were fast and precise enough that he shouldn’t be able to touch you for a while but the new problem was that Matt was in the mix.

Once there was an opening, you moved in. Matt had hit Dex hard enough to have him stagger back so you attacked from behind. You used the desk as footing and jumped off, hooking an arm around his neck as you swung yourself over his shoulder. Your fingers had closed around the material of the suit and yanked him with you, your momentum strong enough to throw him to his back. You landed on your knees and so you spun yourself and saw him pushing himself up to his elbows.

You planted both hands flat against the ground and kicked out sharply, slamming both heels against the side of his head. Once he hit the floor again, you pushed yourself through a backwards tumble and pulled a knife from your belt.

Dex turned to you and you could feel the anger from his glare. You offered a wink, which only seemed to piss him off more, before moving in first. You swiped for a familiar gap in the suit but he caught your wrist while his foot kicked out the back of your knee. He forced you to the ground and twisted your arm outward. You let out a yelp before dropping the knife to your other hand and slicing upwards, catching a space between the plates of his arm.

He dropped his hold which let you fall to the floor. Matt helped you to your feet and put his hands on either side of your head. You nodded quietly and waved away his concern so he could take over the fight.

You moved out of sight, pressing your back against the side of a desk while holding your blade between your teeth as you rubbed the aching joint. You shook your head quickly, collecting yourself enough to let your anger take control. You felt it burn through your veins instead and you rolled your shoulders to break it up before turning to peek over the desk and see what the boys were up to. Matt had knocked Dex down and you took your shot.

You slid across the top of the desk and hooked your ankles around Dex’s neck. His hands landed on your hips as he lifted you so he could slam you back against the desk. You coughed roughly but kept your hold, jamming your Bite against the exposed skin of his neck. He fell to his back, but with your ankles still locked, you were dragged down too.

You landed on top of him so you twisted your hips and leaned a knee against his throat. You freed the other foot and planted it beside his head for balance. You grabbed either arm and held them outwards, leaving him struggling under your weight.

His flailing was slowing when you were tackled off. You two rolled for a minute before Matt was on top of you.

“The hell is your problem?” You angrily pushed him off.

“You don’t even know this guy.” He reasoned breathlessly.

“You think that’ll make a difference to him? I wasn’t even gonna kill him.” You scoffed and turned to find Dex. “Yet.”

As soon as you did, you barely had a second to get your arms up. The butt end of a baton slammed into your forearms, forcing your own limbs against your face. You staggered back into Matt and you tasted blood in your mouth from how the impact slammed your teeth together hard enough to catch a piece of your cheek.

Dex slammed into you, tackling you into Matt and knocking air out of your lungs. Your head smacked the desk before you rolled over it and you could see Dex’s feet on the other side when you landed. You twisted and kicked the edge of the desk to hit Dex in the stomach.

You crawled under it and between his legs before he could stand fully. You reached under and hooked your fingers around the holster strap. You yanked him down and turned to get your feet against the ground. You pushed backwards and as you were rolling, you shifted your arms to grab his. You fell back and flattened his arm before kneeling on it. With a sharp red glow at your Bite, you lifted the weapon to fire. 

You heard Matt getting closer so you lifted your other wrist to ensure he wouldn’t stop you again. Opting for a blue glow against your newly returned partner, you fired both weapons at either man. You hurried back to your feet, punctuating your success against Dex with a swift kick to his jaw, before you made a beeline for where you saw Foggy go in.

When you heard the slam of metal on metal above you, you turned and saw the light fixture coming down. You dropped to a knee and lifted your arms, wincing slightly as the spark scattered across your exposed arms and the corner of the metal scraped your forehead.

You grabbed the metal frame and turned back, seeing Dex giving you a proud smirk as he came around the nearest desk and grabbed a handful of things from the organizer. He kept eye contact with you as he flung them at Matt, who had just made it behind an overturned desk. You gripped the frame tightly, jagged edges digging into your fingers. You rushed him quickly, momentarily distracting him from Matt. You swung the frame at him, knocking him to his back. He hurried to reach for your ankle but you jumped over, changing the grip on the frame to slam it downwards against his chest. His body jerked with the impact and he groaned as you dropped the metal on him. You made a face to yourself and moved to find Matt.

“You probably just pissed him off more.” He mumbled to you.

You gave a quick shrug and waved him off. You heard Dex yank something off a desk but Matt turned the corner to steal his attention before you could. You shook your head in disappointment as Matt was launched into the desk behind him so you went the other way.

While Matt and Dex were playing a cat and mouse game, your fingers slipped into your boot for the smoke bomb. You’d be able to see through it with your mask. You figured Matt would be fine, considering you’d seen him fight through worse. Dex was the one you needed it to be an issue for and if your train of thought was right, it would be. You moved the device into your front pocket as you crept through the office space to get to the room.

You stopped when you heard the clatter. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw a shelving unit on top of Matt and Dex slammed his boot down to knock him out.

You looked between a now-unconscious Matt with scissors sticking out of his chest and the door to your friends. Your hands began to shake slightly as you felt that familiar heat of rage crawling up your spine. You tapped your mask to see through the door, finding there was something blocking it along with four bodies huddled in the corner. With a sigh, you stood in front of the door and faced Dex again.

They’d be alright as long as you kept him focused on you, so you took all of Dex’s rage and enjoyment from the prior events and redirected it to be focused solely on you.

“Finally… You learned how to have a little fun.” You spoke simply to egg him on, slipping a hand behind you for a knife - realizing you had dropped your other one - as you feigned ignorance. “What happened to you?”

He answered with a quiet chuckle.

“What now? You try to kill me too? Is that how you treat the woman you love?” You toyed with a pout.

His head cocked to the side before a smile took over. You realized then that Dex didn’t quite know the story of Exodus and Daredevil. Fisk clearly knew, willing to use it as leverage to break you at work. But he didn’t tell Dex everything. It made you wonder exactly how long Fisk planned on using Dex, because that was an easy man to snap.

Maybe you didn't need to break Dex for Fisk. Maybe you needed to break his trust in Fisk. And destroying trust seemed to be one of the things you did best.

You both heard the sirens at the same time and you let out a sign of relief. You had been so focused on keeping Dex away from Jasper and your friends, on ensuring Matt got out alive, you had forgotten that Ray and his team were on the way. All you had to do now was stall for a few more minutes  so you left the knife where it sat at your back.

You reached into your pocket and threw the smoke bomb at Dex’s feet. Once the gray cloud erupted and your lenses adjusted, you pushed through it to slam your knee against his chest. The action forced him back against one of the temporary cubicle walls. He swung a left hook but you caught it, using it as stability to flip over and kick across his jaw. He swung a kick to your stomach as you landed but you spun to avoid it, meeting him with a roundhouse of your own that threw him to the closest desk.

You hurried around the desk as he was pushing himself up. You put your hands on the back of his head and dropped to a knee, slamming him back down. As you turned away, the edge of the desk jammed into your hip and you were knocked to the floor. You were quickly pinned under Dex’s body weight as one of his hands looped around the strap to your vest. The other landed hard jabs to your face, hits that you were barely able to squirm away from.

You began kicking your foot, trying to knock one of the shock discs out of your boot. You tucked your knees up and shook your foot, turning your head away from his hits in time to see the circular device slip out of your boot. You squeezed your knees together around his waist and threw yourself to the side to put you on top. You leaned and grabbed the disc quickly. You held the tech between your fingers while you pulled your wire between your hands. You pressed the wire against his throat and his hands came around your wrists in a panic.

He coughed and thrashed beneath you but that only made you press harder. You saw the drops of blood fall from your lips and land against the helmet, red on red to match the color of your vision. You pressed down harder and watched the dark bruise sprout across his throat.

His hands disappeared from your wrists and gripped the straps of your vest. He threw you over and you rolled until your side hit the edge of a cubicle wall. You groaned sharply as the impact vibrated through your old rib injury. You were getting to your hands and knees when a heavy kick slammed into your stomach, making you collapse again.

Another kick that knocked the air out of your lungs.

A third kick that made you cough sharply.

He threw a fourth kick but you turned to catch his foot. You yanked hard and he fell to his back. You slipped the disc under the top edge of your wrap near your knuckles and got up to a knee. Dex was making his way back to his feet so you used the cubicle as leverage to haul yourself up. Once Dex faced you, you threw your entire body weight into a hook that jammed the disc against his jaw. The shock jolted up your arm and you felt the joints throughout it lock up as Dex cried out. He fell to the floor with small convulsions as you felt yourself wobble slightly on your feet. You blinked hard and shook the vertigo away as your vision cleared of the manic haze.

You moved back to the door and as you were reaching for the handle, you heard a metallic clink just before you felt a sharp pain in your hip that caused you to cry out. Looking down, you saw your own discarded knife buried to the hilt at the bend of your leg. You fell against the wall, unable to support your own weight as Dex came over with a smug smirk. He used his foot to push you away from the door before breaking in.

You groaned loudly as you pressed your hand around the wound, moderately scared to try and take the blade out. Instead, you wobbled to your feet and used the door frame to hold yourself up just as you heard the gunshot. Your head snapped up and you saw Dex moving closer to Karen. You noticed a body on the floor from the corner of your eye. You turned slightly and realized it was Foggy. The sight made your knees buckle and you gripped the doorframe even tighter. Nudging the side of your mask with your shoulder, you gave it a second to load. You saw there was a heartbeat and you let out a soft sigh of relief. He was alive.

If he hadn’t been, you wouldn’t have hesitated to end Dex then and there.

“Hey!” You called out and his movements stopped, head turning slightly towards you. “You’ve gotta do better than that if you want me dead.”

“Hello, Karen. It’s nice to see you again.” Dex told her calmly and the sentence puzzled you.

Your moment’s confusion allowed him to get a hand around your throat and force you out the room, coughing and gagging as his grip grew tighter. You heard Karen calling for you but you took the concern she directed at you and moved it towards Matt, though you ensured there was enough fear in her to keep her from moving until you had Dex’s sole attention. Dex pulled you closer before slamming you into the wall behind you.

He forced you back again and again. You grabbed at his wrist and tried to push your Bites against his neck but he recognized it and slammed you before you could.

“I wasn’t gonna kill you.” He said lowly.

Head bouncing.

“But he said you would get in my way.”

 Air forced out of your lungs.

“All for that guy.”

Back slamming.

“All because you love him.”

Rib burning.

“What happened? I thought you were gonna make this fun.”

He threw you to the floor and you coughed roughly, turning to the side to try and give yourself space to move while your throat burned .

His foot forced you to your back and he slammed it down on the Bite you were trying to aim, which so happened to be the one that needed the brace. You winced loudly and he reached down for the knife in your hip. Once his eyes left yours, you reached the other hand for the gun under your arm. You stole Frank’s old move that he used against Matt and pressed the gun against Dex’s forehead.

When you felt the blade move, you pulled the trigger. The loud bang reverberated through the otherwise quiet room, rivaling the sharp cry you released as the blade shifted back to its first position.

He fell off of you and you moved as best you could to Matt and Karen. You reached them and pushed both their heads down while Dex staggered out the room, holding his head and falling occasionally.

“Livia.” Matt mumbled, reaching for you.

“Yeah… I’m here.” You replied quietly, taking his hands in yours.

“Your leg.”

You offered a small smile, feeling some of your anger and pain melt into a soft sort of sadness. Almost like longing. “Your chest… Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

“Get out of here, okay?” You tried, looking towards the stairs and your lenses showing you Ray’s team coming. “I’ll find you when I can sneak away.”

“No.” He held your hand tighter, a desperation in his touch that made you soft - if only for a second. “No, I’m not- not leaving you.”

“Matt, you have to.” You brought his busted knuckles to your lips. Matt quickly put his hand at the side of your head, pushing his fingers into your hair, and pulled you to him to bring your lips to his. Behind your eyes, things turned a misty lavender when you felt Matt’s thumb running gentle patterns.

“I love you.” He mumbled against your lips. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Something deep in both your chests seem to snap.

“What about that guy?” Karen asked when you two separated, panic clear in her words.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You said simply, giving a determined tilt to your head.

“Livia.” Karen tried as you stood.

“Nadeem and his team are coming. Just hang tight till he gets here.” You patted her shoulder.

She reached for your hand but you pulled away. You hobbled to the stairwell and braced yourself as you yanked the knife out. A loud yelp left you before you gritted your teeth and forced your anger down, literally. You took the anger bubbling inside - anger at Dex for betraying you, at Matt for nearly getting himself killed, at Ray for not getting there in time, at Fisk for stealing your partner, at yourself for falling so far behind in Fisk’s game - and directed it down to your joint so the wound would heat itself while you wiped the blade against the exposed bottom of your shirt. The burning made you close your eyes tight and ground your teeth so hard you thought you’d break them. When your leg no longer stung, you pushed yourself up and kept going with your bloody knife gripped tight.

When you threw the door open, you saw Dex climbing the railing. You kicked Ray’s gun from his hand and slammed your shoulder into his chest to send him tumbling a few stairs, rendering him unable to follow or attack you, before vaulting yourself over the side. Both feet collided with Dex and you two tumbled down the stairs. When you two finally landed, with you on top with a knee against the center of his chest, you jammed your knife between the protections of his suit and he shouted loudly in pain. 

“I’m leaving you alive to deliver a message.” You threatened, grabbing him by the chin to force him to look at you. “Tell your boss that I’m coming for him. And when I get to him, he’s as good as dead.”

“You’ll never get the chance.” He coughed.

You smiled slightly and twisted your knife, making him grab your hand in a panic.

“Try me.” You yanked your blade out and took off, hooking a wire around the bar before jumping the railing.

When your feet hit the ground, you flicked the wire to release it. You tucked it back into place and hurried back to your car, checking your surroundings before changing back into your original shirt and jacket. You wiped the blood off your hands and face as best you could and tucked your accessories under your seat before making your way back to the building.

You went right back up to the floor you left Karen on and found Ray in the room with her. Evans’ body was on the floor while two agents talked over him. An agent was checking on Ellison. Foggy was on Karen’s other side and Ray grabbed your arm to pull you aside. Your eyes didn’t leave your friends and they caught your gaze as you pulled. They both gave short nods that they were okay, but their concern for your well-being was more prevalent.

“Where the hell were you?” He asked tightly.

“Are they okay?” You asked instead, finally breaking eye contact to look at Ray. “My friends, Nelson and Page. Are they alright?”

He looked over his shoulder and sighed before facing you again. “Yeah, they’re fine. Nelson’s probably gonna have a black eye but other than that..”

“I was trying to help evac the lower floors while I waited for you.” You lied easily. “I couldn’t figure out what was going on and then- ” You gestured to the cut on your forehead. 

”Ah shit. You good?” His eyes flicked between yours to gauge your awareness. 

“Yeah, just knocked me down for a few seconds. I got up here as soon as I woke up. You see anything?”

“Yeah… Daredevil and his little girlfriend did this.”

“I saw a red suit but I thought I was hallucinating.” Your brows furrowed. “I would think those two would want Fisk locked up again more than anyone. This would’ve been the ticket to do it.”

“Maybe.” He nodded. “But how much you wanna bet they wanna be the ones to do it?”

“I doubt it matters who does it.” You made a face to yourself. “They don’t seem like the type that need the glory and the headlines.”

“I don’t think all of this was part of their plan. Not the girl’s at least.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cause she went after Daredevil. And not in a ‘my partner’s leaving me behind’ kind of way. It was like she was trying to take him down.”

“If Daredevil’s gone off the rails, she wouldn’t hesitate to stop him.” You agreed. “She’s probably the best qualified if we’re being honest. She can track him, contact him, and beat him better than any of us can.”

“Question now is why'd he snap.”

“If he snapped.”

“What do you mean?” His head tilted in interest. “You don’t think he’s lost it?”

“I’m from Hell’s Kitchen, right?” You explained and he nodded along. “I’ve seen this guy work. I’ve seen both of them work. This?” You gestured around. “This isn’t how they work. Not even the girl.”

“What are you trynna say?”

You glanced around, noted the puddles of blood from reporters. The trashed office scene. Pencils and pens stuck into the bottom of overturned desks. Shattered computer screens and fallen lights. Torn papers and loose cables. You sighed and turned back to Ray.

“I don’t know.” You lied. “But something doesn’t feel right about this.”

[poolverinesboyfriend]

Some Matt Murdock with a hint of self insert, still getting used to drawing him but he’s such a cutie!!

I’ve been watching through daredevil and going IEUEUEGHH during all the gore despite being a hardcore horror fan for years so I figured my self insert would be pretty grossed out at patching Matt up after a tough night. He’d do it anyways and somehow with perfection and a light hand.

[farfromstrange]

Foreigner's God Masterlist

PAIRING: Matt Murdock x OFC

AO3 — Spotify — #foreigner’s god

❝ Sometimes, the greatest power lies not in what we can control, but in what we can uncover within ourselves. In the depths of darkness, secrets await, and it is our choice to embrace them or let them consume us. Together, they embarked on a journey to unearth the truth, unaware that love, like a tempest, would shatter all their plans and rebuild their world anew. ❞

⤹ SUMMARY:

She was born with the ability to manipulate reality and the world around her. Hydra raised her and turned her into their deadliest weapon until the Avengers saved her and offered her a chance at a better life. A dark past often comes with secrets that demand to be uncovered. There might actually be more to it than meets the eye, a kind of power that’s been sleeping deep within her, waiting to be discovered. But how does one get over losing everything without losing themselves?

One reckless night on a rooftop, a bad decision leads the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen right into her arms, and he decides to tag along on her journey down the past.

As it turns out, Matt Murdock is a man unable to take no for an answer when he has set his mind to something, and once she decides to let him into her heart, all the plans she made for the future fall apart.

Or, in which a troubled Avenger forms an alliance with Daredevil to fight a common enemy and save their city, but they end up saving each other instead.

⤹ CONTENT WARNINGS:

SLOW BURN, Canon typical violence, ANGST, EVENTUAL SMUT, light BDSM, Oral sex, daddy kink, praise & pain kink, blood & cum play, Switch!Matt, toxic behavior, language, severe mental illness, PTSD, implied/referenced torture, substance abuse disorder, self-harm, mentions of sexual assault, Hydra, age gap, religious imagery and symbolism, eventual romance, some fluff, mutant powers, mentions of child molestation, near-death experiences, catholic guilt, NOT TONY STARK FRIENDLY (at least until chapter 40 or so), turning good characters into bad guys, not completely canon compliant

-> There will be chapter-specific warnings before each chapter because they tend to vary with each one!

⤹ AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello everyone! I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did, so I decided to edit the entire Masterlist and repost it while I continue editing the chapters on AO3 and here, too. Welcome to everyone who’s new here!

Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

I’m trying not to describe any specific physical traits like body shape, hair color, etc. (although I think I called her skin “pale” once or twice in reference to her lack of sun exposure) in any of the chapters. The character was assigned female at birth and also identifies as female with she/her pronouns, but other than that, I do not give her any traits other than her name – Eliza Bennett. Her looks are entirely up to your imagination! So you can view this as a reader insert or not, whatever you want. It’s up to you how you interpret this story.

-> Series takes place in early season 2 and continues from there on.

-> This work is 18+ ONLY!

[the asterisk (*) indicates explicit sexual content; (^) indicates the chapter has been edited to fit the new style]

— ACT ONE: HYDRA —

chapter one: I Did Something Bad (^)

chapter two: Raise A Little Hell (^)

chapter three: I Think He Knows (^)

chapter four: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (^)

chapter five: Hold Me While You Wait (^)

chapter six: Ivy (^)

chapter seven: right where you left me (^)

chapter eight: doomsday (^)

chapter nine: Block Me Out  (^)

chapter ten: 1 step forward, 3 steps back (^)

chapter eleven: New Invention (^)

chapter twelve: It’s Nice To Have A Friend (^)

chapter thirteen: Devil Town (^)

chapter fourteen: Family Line (^)

chapter fifteen: So it goes…* (^)

chapter sixteen: Do I Wanna Know?* (^)

chapter seventeen: Look Who’s Inside Again (^)

chapter eighteen: Anti-Hero (^)

chapter nineteen: You’re On Your Own Kid  (^)

chapter twenty: Innocent* (^)

chapter twenty-one: Green, Green Dress*

chapter twenty-two: mirrorball*

chapter twenty-three: The Avengers (pt.1) 

chapter twenty-four: The Avengers (pt.2) 

chapter twenty-five: For Real This Time 

chapter twenty-six: Black Out Days 

chapter twenty-seven: Dear Reader

chapter twenty-eight: Look What You Made Me Do 

chapter twenty-nine (Bonus Chapter): Haunted

chapter thirty: Hayloft II

chapter thirty-one: Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)

chapter thirty-two: Chasing Cars

chapter thirty-three: How To Save A Life

chapter thirty-four: Foreigner’s God(*)

chapter thirty-five: long story short*

chapter thirty-six: this is me trying*

chapter thirty-seven: New Romantics*

chapter thirty-eight: Lavender Haze*

chapter thirty-nine: As It Was*

chapter forty: Monster*

chapter forty-one: Daylight

— ACT TWO: PUNISHER —

chapter forty-two: I’ll Get The Coffee*

chapter forty-three: She Knows*

chapter forty-four: Cold As You 

chapter forty-five: Bird Set Free 

chapter forty-six: Human*

chapter forty-seven: Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve (^)

chapter forty-eight: Bad Blood (^)

chapter forty-nine: Dark Paradise (^)

chapter fifty: Meet Me In The Hallway (^)

chapter fifty-one: Demons (^)

chapter fifty-two: Say You Won't Let Go (^)

chapter fifty-three: I Will Be Your Remedy (^)

chapter fifty-four: Dancing With The Devil (^)

chapter fifty-five: Why Am I Like This? (^)

[veeveethebunee]

INTRODUCTIONS!!

--> ok i will be honest i have no idea what im doing, all my life and this is my first time on tumblr but bare with me..

--> but im a writer (and roleplayer for when i cant write by myself) and has recently hit MAJOR writers block and thought if i read other peoples work AND maybe have some people submit requests and prompts i could kick it away. so this is just to list all the things i write and who im able to write.

1. FANDOMS :

the fandoms im able to write in the most accurately goes as followed :

- supernatural

- stranger things

- marvel cinematic universe

- x-men (mainly the movies, my comic knowledge is sadly limited.

- merlin

2. CHARACTERS :

there is certain characters i can write from each fandom, some more than others.

- SUPERNATURAL : Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Kevin Tran, Crowley, Rowena, Charlie.

- STRANGER THINGS : Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Jim Hopper, Nacy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers.

- MCU : Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Matt Murdock, Clint Barton, Loki, Thor, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), Sam Wilson.

- X-MEN : charles xavier (young), erik lehnsherr (young), peter maximoff, alex summers, hank mccoy, raven darkholme, sean cassidy, logan howlett, scott summers, ororo munroe.

- MERLIN : arthur pendragon, morgana, gwen, merlin, gwaine, lancelot.

- OTHERS (other fandoms im in that arent major) : mike schmidt (fnaf movie), clapton davis (detention), sean anderson, angus macgyver (macgyver)

- i DO write more characters and im always into more but i cant list them all-- so im always opened to playing more characters.

3. THINGS I WRITE.

- SHIPS : some ships im into and write are sastiel, merthur, cherik, gwen/morgana, robin/nancy, sam/bucky, steddie. but im always opened to more ships!! practicslly any ship as long as they arent anything like incest, illegal, etc.

-> i will also write self inserts, y/n fics, and even ocs!! i just need the info to do so.

- TOPICS : i write about ANYTHING that you could think of, whether its a certain trope for characters, fluff, angst, even smut and certain things that pertain to that-- just ask!! i will tell if theres something i will not write.

-> and thats about it!! atleast thats everything i can think of!! thank you for reading!!

[burstanddecay]

As of right now, you’ll find Triple Frontier, Daredevil, Mando, Criminal Minds and Call of Duty fics on here. Most of these are also available on AO3 under the same username (burstanddecay). You might also see me there with my primary account, noheroesallowed.

My blog and writing are both 18+: please respect that. In my work, you can, depending on the fic, find content that could be triggering, so please read the warnings before diving in.

Personally, I am incapable of writing fully blank reader inserts. Though my works are written in second person, they're never a fully blank slate. I provide the line work; sometimes that takes the shape of their past, the way they look at the world, their experiences. However you choose to fill in the blanks is completely left to you. I have my ideas, you'll have yours 🤎

🌶️ = explicit work || 🌧️ = angst || 🌸 = fluff

Office Hours || Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!Reader || 1.2K || 🌶️

During your faculty Christmas party, Santi asks to see the building. He has a particular interest in your office specifically, for no reason whatsoever.

Mine || Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!Reader || 2.4K || 🌶️

Turns out Santiago gets a little possessive when he notices someone else watching you the entire day.

Cold Is The Night || Benny Miller x (named) F!Reader || Multi chapter || see each chapter for TWs.

There are two things Peach struggles with: the darkness trying its hardest to swallow her whole, and the fact she’s in love with Benny Miller, the one person that deserves far more than she could ever offer. On Christmas eve, it all falls apart: there is no more hiding from the darkness as Benny takes her to the boxing ring as a way to unearth everything that’s stuck in her head, something that’s bound to unroot things she doesn’t want to surface for his sake

Green Green Dress || Will Miller x (named) F!Reader || 6.7K || 🌸

Will thought his night was unfortunate: single during the holidays, left alone at a bar by his brother and facing the prospect of walking home for an hour in the biting cold. However, the first date taking place right behind his seat reaches a level of shitty he never considered to be achievable.

in the low lamplight || Matt Murdock x F!Reader || 4.9K || 🌶️ 🌧️

As your shitty day comes to a peak in his kitchen, Matt is determined to coax you into accepting something other than your self-deprecating thoughts.

lavender haze || Matt Murdock x F!Reader || 1.5K || 🌸

Matt comes home late, soaking wet from the rain outside, just as you’re taking a bath. It leaves you with a question you’re a little hesitant about, but he encourages you to ask it anyway.

‘til our fingers decompose || Din Djarin x Reader || 1.6K || 🌧️

The loss of Grogu caused a shift in both you and the Mandalorian.

let it out (let it in) || Spencer Reid x F!Reader || 1.7K || 🌧️

The lack of a tangible explanation for Spencer's migraines causes him to spiral. You're there to catch him when he's falling, whether he feels like he deserves that or not.

acid nor alkaline || John Price x F!Reader || multi chapter

A long awaited trip finally makes it out of the group chat, and a strange but welcome interaction sets the tone for your weekend.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Marvel Masterlist

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

Matt Murdock (Daredevil)

Frank Castle (The Punisher)

Miscellaneous

🌟= new post

🤕= Whump 😥 = Angst 😘= Fluff/ Relationship

✍= reader insert ✉️ = ask/ request

Main Masterlist

Fics:

The End of the Line (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😘 🤕 😥 ✍

Set in the world of Marvel’s What If…. Zombies, you and Bucky Barnes are having a heart-to-heart on a train when you are suddenly interrupted…… (Spoilers for Marvel’s What If…. Zombies)

Nightmares (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍

Every night you have the same nightmare with Bucky there to comfort you

Time to Wake Up (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😥 ✍ (Sequel to Nightmares)

After 5 years of nightmares, it’s time for you to finally move on. But when an old friend from the past shows up, is there hope?

The Colonel and the Sergeant Masterlist (Rick Flag x Reader, Past Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😘 🤕 😥 ✍

When you and your boyfriend Rick Flag bump into your ex, Bucky Barnes, at a bar one night, things get a bit awkward. But how will revelations about your past relationship affect your current one?

You Are My Greatest Accomplishment (Bucky Barnes & Third Person Reader) 🤕 😥 ✍ ✉️

After Bucky survives falling from the train (minus one arm), he is taken prisoner by HYDRA whose lead scientist has big plans for him….

Who Do You Trust? (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😘 🤕 😥 ✍

After Bucky saves you from HYDRA’s captivity, you think he is the only person you can trust. But can you really trust him?

Christmas Lights (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😘 ✍

When your plans to celebrate Christmas fall through, Bucky tries to find an alternate way to still make it special for you.

Pep Talk (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 😥 ✍

When you have a moment of self-doubt, Bucky tries to comfort you.

Hold On (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 🤕 😥 ✍

As you and Bucky are trying to reach your extraction point on a mission, a grim reveal might change those plans.

Drabbles:

“Why won’t you let me braid your hair?”

“You’re welcome to try.” = Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

“Is that my present?” = Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

“I would kill for dinner right now.” and “Are you trying to make me angry?” = Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Fics:

A Second Chance (NWH Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 😘 ✍

When you are sucked into an alternate dimension with an alternate Peter Parker, you have to try and find your way back to your Peter. But he might be closer than you realized….

Along Came a Spider (NWH Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍

Peter finds himself in another dimension and soon comes across a girl with a familiar face. But baggage from each of their worlds makes for a very rough introduction. Can they overcome their issues and learn to work together?

My Hero (The Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍ ✉️

Peter Parker has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. But lately, he is pulling away from you. Will the intervention of the local web-slinging superhero help or hurt things?

I Never Had a Choice (The Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 😘 🤕 😥 ✍ ✉️

When things go bad, there is only one person you can turn to. But is Peter willing to help you after everything that happened between you two?

When One Door Closes (The Amazing Spider-Man x gn!Reader) 😘 ✍ ✉️

After you try asking Gwen Stacy out and she rejects you, you decide to hang out with your best friend instead. But what would happen if you and Peter were more than friends?

No Matter What I Have to Do (The Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍ ✉️

To gain an upper hand on Spider-Man, a local gang kidnaps you. But what they didn’t realize is that after he lost Gwen, Peter is willing to do whatever it takes to save his girlfriend.

Blood (The Amazing Spider-Man x Reader) 🤕 😥 ✍

When you wake up and see an unconscious Peter lying in a pool of blood, you fear the worst. However, this soon becomes a "good news, bad news" situation.

Drabbles:

“You’re welcome to try.”

“The wonderful world of high school drama.”

“The future is a mystery.” and “I can’t believe you’re still alive!”

“Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?” = tasm!Peter Parker x Female!Reader

“Hard cash is a girl’s best friend.” and “I like that about you.” = tasm!Peter Parker x Female!Reader (Smoke)

“Honey, I’m home.” = tasm!Peter Parker x Female!Reader (Smoke)

Blood

Fics:

It Was a Long Time Ago…. Masterlist (Matt Murdock x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍ ✉️

After seven years in prison for an unfair charge, you are finally released. But when your old love, Matt Murdock, is there to meet you, what does it mean for the future?

When the Devil Calls…. (Matt Murdock x Reader) 😘 🤕 ✍

When you get a late-night call from the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen asking you for help, you rush to your friend’s aid.

Fics:

Not My World (Frank Castle x Reader) 😘 🤕 😥 ✍

Your ex-Frank shows up at your apartment late at night, shot and bleeding. As you try to patch him up, old feelings resurface.

In Love Masterlist (Frank Castle x Reader) 😘 😥 ✍

Being in a relationship with Frank Castle isn’t easy. Not only do you have to worry about him leaving every night to go out as The Punisher, but deep down you know he is still not over the loss of his family. What will this mean for your relationship long term?

Drabbles:

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.” = Frank Castle x Female!Reader

Don’t Go On That Date (Alternate POV) = Frank Castle x Female!Reader

Fics:

That Was a Blast (Avengers & Reader) 🤕 😥 ✍

The mission goes from bad to worse as you, Tony, Steve, and Sam infiltrate an old HYDRA base.

Trust Me (Loki & Reader) 😥 ✍

When a mission goes wrong, your only choice is to trust Loki.

Drabbles:

It Wasn't You (Steve Rogers x Reader) 🤕 😥 ✍

It Wasn't You (Alt Ending) 😘 ✍