#matchmaker anathema

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

hold me like you're scared to (T) (WIP)

currently on: chapter 3/7 (14.5k)

tags and warnings: romance, humor, tragedy, action, crisis of faith, presumed dead, biblical themes, religious imagery & symbolism, unresolved sexual tension, artist aziraphale, drowning, hypothermia, corpses, heavy drinking, period typical attitudes

A year after the first failed apocalypse, Anathema is rummaging around Jasmine Cottage when she stumbles upon a chest filled with decrepit heirlooms, some ordinary-ish and some...not so. They include (but are not exclusive to); a page ripped out of the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, a photo depicting two figures who look suspiciously like the angel and demon milling about downstairs, and a priceless necklace believed to have gone down with the sinking of the Titanic—the Heart of the Ocean, which is radiating an odd amount of demonic energy. Once confronted, Aziraphale and Crowley will have to retell the story of their disastrous, strangely romantic, and life-changing voyage 108 years ago—and realize that maybe, sometimes, even hereditary enemies can get their quiet endings.

HI GUYS how would you like a good omens + titanic (1997) fusion with star-crossed lesbians and occult/ethereal matchmakers?? 😍 this is being written for the @do-it-with-style-events silver screen bang in collaboration with @orangejuiceinmyshoe!! originally this was a long dead wip inspired by a conversation with @frappe-the-peppermint and i only ended up going through it because of their encouragement and this bang coming into existence right when i thought to give up. i hope you all enjoy it, i certainly did!! (the hours of research i will never get back...)

ao3 link if you missed it!

[the-anathema-device]

Oh! It’s so nice to hear from you!

New jobs always seem to come with such a lot of paperwork, don’t they?

Really, you two should communicate more. Perhaps some couple’s therapy is in order (or ‘group of the two of us therapy’ as Crowley apparently prefers to call it).

Do pop by for a cup of tea! I have so many questions about magicks and miracles.

Tadfield is lovely this time of year! Optimal climate, you know 😉. Adam is doing well, a little moody but it’s to be expected of a teenager. Newt and I are still going strong, and yes we’ve been discussing some plans, but for now it’s all top secret… 🤫

Hello Aziraphale!

Sorry to interfere, but I’ve heard that you and Crowley recently had some kind of… breakup? He said you went off for work, but nobody seems to be able to tell me where - I’ve heard it’s up north, but I haven’t been able to divine where.

I do hope you’ll come down to see Newt and I sometime, with or without Crowley.

- Anathema

Anathema! Oh my dear it has been such a long time hasn't it?

Oh. Uhm. Yes I have been extraordinarily busy! Heav - well. Where I work really is frightfully important and top secret.

Apologies. I haven't been able to really do anything or see anyone for a while now. But I will be trying to speak with Crowley as he is almost pointedly ignoring me instead of trying to have a conversation.

Don't fret, all will be well. I would love to come down and see you and Newt. I'm sure Crowley would much like to do the same, whether he wants me there or not.

How are things with you anyway? A little nightingale told me you and Newt had... made certain admissions... of some description? Related to love?

[qe-podfic]

Want To Voice Act In A Massive Multivoice Podfic?

Characters That Still Need To Be Voiced:

AZIRAPHALE

CROWLEY

ANATHEMA

NEWTON

BEELZEBUB

GABRIEL

MURIEL

SANDALPHON

WARLOCK

Quantum Entangled

Fic Summary:

They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.

Rating: Mature

Words: 51,266

Relationships:

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters:

Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling

Additional Tags:

Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed

Language: English

[foolishlovers]

hi jane! how are you? 💕 i looove your fic recs and i always wanted to ask for some, too... but i never knew what kind of fics i would ask for bc i'm uncreative af lol ANYWAY i've been feeling pretty low these past few days now and i could use some fluffy sweet ineffable idiots/friends to lovers fics to cheer me up..? doesn't really matter if short or long, au, fix-it, explicit or not... i'm not picky (tho i prefer longer fics) 👉🏻👈🏻 do you have some recs? or even personal faves? i'd love to see them, pretty please? (i'm also reading/have read your wip's and finished fics and i love ALL OF THEM V MUCH just so you know that!! anyway, i hope you're doing good! have a great start to the week mwah 💕✨️)

addi hi you’re are so very sweet!! i’m sending you all my hugs and i hope you’ll feel better soon 💜

here are some of my favourite idiots/friends to lovers good omens fics:

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture (M, 17k) "Yes, exactly. Retire." Aziraphale reaches for the last remaining tartlet brimming with summer berries. "Somewhere along the south coast, perhaps." Or: Crowley and Aziraphale learn to move in tandem.

You are HoMe (Half of Me) by angelsnuffbox (T, 28k) Aziraphale had gotten dumped, plain and simple. But that small detail wasn’t nearly as important as all the things that happened after he’d gotten dumped - such as coming to a few realisations about his best friend of sixteen years.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Gefionne (M, 28k) Because they can’t see each other more than once every few decades, Aziraphale suggests that he and Crowley write to each other to pass the time apart. As quills for their letters, they exchange wing feathers: a gesture of great intimacy that Crowley is convinced only he perceives the depth of. But time will tell that it’s not just him who sees it that way.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (E, 32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

Between Comfort And Chaos by anathxmadevice (T, 45k) “And how long have you two been a couple?” “Oh, I—” Aziraphale panics. “Ha, well, that’s a funny… We’re not actually—” “We’re just friends.” Crowley says, their voice clear and calm and lightly amused, either because of or in spite of Aziraphale’s flailing attempts to divert the conversation. “Ah, yes, quite.” Aziraphale says, then takes a sip of his drink just for something to do, instead of focussing on the way Crowley said just friends, and how it causes a painful throb in his chest that he has never fully got used to. His memory can only scrabble at the edge of a time where being just friends with Crowley didn’t feel like a particular form of torture. Or, Aziraphale has been desperately in love with his best friend and housemate Crowley since they were students, but is too scared to do anything about it.

Won't You be My Neighbor? by Spiro, ProblematicPitch (T, 52k) When Mr. A. Z. Fell moves to the quiet English village of Tadfield, he expects nosy neighbors and inquiries into his eccentric, solitary life. What he doesn't anticipate is Anthony J. Crowley, the surly nuisance / next-door-neighbor, who might very well need a friend as much as he does.

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (T, 56k) A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)   "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context…" "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "….huh."   (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (M, 71k) Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack. Perhaps it’s time to let them fall. Human AU. Complete.

Put Out The Fire by Aleakim (T, 133k) Aziraphale finds himself in a very awkward position as some sort of spell makes everyone merely glancing in his direction instantly fall deeply and desperately in love with him. Absolutely everyone. Well, apart from Crowley, that is. And while both angel and demon search for a solution to this fairly unique problem, Crowley can’t help wondering whether Aziraphale might finally figure out some things he kept hidden for so very long. [you can request more fic recs here]

[50shadesofoctarine]

Quantum Entangled - Chapter 8

Fic Summary:

They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.

Rating: Mature

Words: 62,152

Relationships:

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters:

Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling

Additional Tags:

Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed

Language: English

[ineffable-sideburns]

interesting how in Paradise Lost the Unholy Trinity (highest ranking demons in hell) are Lucifer, then Beelzebub, then Astaroth. Astaroth is a male demon named after the goddess Astarte.

Nanny Ashtoteth is a feminine name that comes from the goddess Astarte as well.

so basically Crowley could have been the third most powerful demon if he’d taken Beelzebub up on their offer to him regarding finding Gabriel and becoming a duke.

also interesting to note that in some general Beelzebub lore (outside of Paradise Lost), Beelzebub throws Satan out of hell at Jesus’s feet or leads a successful revolt against him and takes over.

now, now I know that GO is just Bible fan fic but it really does take a remarkable amount of inspiration for its characters from their actual myths. For instance, Gabriel is the angel of revelation, motherhood, music, messages and prophetic visions from God.

so let’s go back to the fact that Crowley references a real mythical demon (or goddess, in another religion.)

I would also just like to add some traits about archangel Raphael here now. Raphael means “god heals.” He is the angel of healing, protection, matchmaking, and journeys, and he heals and protects humans. Now who have we seen ask god to heal a bike? Who heals Anathema’s broken bones? Who have we seen revive a dove on screen, even though in the book it was supposed to be Crowley? who wants to fix (“heal”) heaven? Who wanted to make Maggie and Nina fall in love?

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Ink Blots and Forget-Me-Nots

Ninth Circle Ink was hardly more than a stone’s throw from the flower shop; Aziraphale knew from past experience that it took less than thirty seconds to go from door to door (forty-five if you had to wait for a car to pass). It had been a perfect arrangement in the beginning, when they were just starting out. Owning a flower shop across the street from your boyfriend's tattoo parlor is fun and adorable. Owning a flower shop across the street from your ex-boyfriend's tattoo parlor? Not so much.

Length: 42,373 Words

AO3 Rating: Teen and Up

Best for: Safe in Public, Slow Burn, Slight Angst, Human AU

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by gutsandglitter

*Minor Spoilers* This story was written in 2019 but reading it now after season two...hm..extra ouch. In this Human AU, Crowley and Aziraphale were together for 14 years before separating and still own shops across from each other. The perspective changes from present to past and we slowly learn what happened to them. It's devastating at times, learning something from their history and then coming back to Aziraphale's present day heartache. It's so heavy on him. It's primarily an Aziraphale point of view, yet you'll still be able to pick up on Crowley's feelings very clearly. Of course Aziraphale misses all the signs, it's a fanfic after all. No romance brain cells allowed here folks.

Internalized homophobia is one of our main themes here. It's something all of us LGBT people know intimately, and I'm sure we've all had experiences that mirror Aziraphale's and Crowley's in this. Fear, shame, having to hide, being hidden. It's heartbreaking but cathartic to read a story that knows this feeling and doesn't villainize Aziraphale for his actions here. He may blame himself, but the story doesn't.

It's not all gloom though! The present day is filled with scenes with The Them, Anathema, and Madame Tracy that I really enjoyed. I love Adam's matchmaker schemes and how it never goes to plan. In the past, the original character of Elsie was one of my favorite parts of the entire story. She was the original owner of the shop Aziraphale now runs and becomes family to our boys. It was such a wonderful and heartfelt found family story line to go along with their new found family in the present. While there is a lot of heartache in this story, there is also so much love!

Completely safe in public. It'll break your heart a bit, but it's ends on a very good note and I wouldn't classify this as angst. Slight angst yeah, but it's not depressing. Well....2004 is a bit depressing....good luck with 2004....

Read it here, fic by gutsandglitter

[sectumsempress1]

Good Omens Season 3: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Sectumsempress1, Hag

I am once again going through my Good Omens season 3 predictions bingo and explaining why I think the things I think. Today I want to talk about Metatron's memory meddling, or more specifically why I think Aziraphale is the Archangel Raphael and why I don't think he remembers.

Once again, I know I cannot be the first person to think of this theory. I'm just adding my two cents. Here we go.

I know there is a fairly popular theory that Crowley was Raphael before the fall, but putting aside the fact that it simply wouldn’t work for television to give them a name that similar to Aziraphale, I just disagree with that assessment. I like to think that Crowley was Jophiel before they fell and Aziraphale’s original name was Raphael. 

I think we can answer this theory very quickly by noting that in The Book of Tobit, Raphael disguises himself as a human on earth, acting as a healer and guardian under the name Azariah. I honestly just think that Neil and Terry took the name Raphael and his human name Azariah and landed on Aziraphale. 

Furthermore, Raphael (“God has healed”) is literally the archangel of healing. He is also known as the angel of protection and keeping people safe on their journeys. God gives Raphael a mission in The Book of Enoch, verse 10:10 to:

“Restore the earth, which the [fallen] angels have corrupted; and announce life to it, that I may revive it.”

Aka ‘thwarting evil wiles.’ In The Zohar it’s also stated in Genesis chapter 23 that he: 

“is appointed to heal the earth of its evil and affliction and the maladies of mankind.”

If I were to go over every single instance of Aziraphale fitting the bill for these descriptions I would be here all day, but some I can think of off the top of my head are:

Giving Adam and Eve the flaming sword to assist them on their journey

Healing Anathema’s broken arm and bike

“Actually, I encourage humans to do the actual- [thwarting of evil wiles]”

Fixing that man’s phone in the graveyard in Scotland

Insisting that he wants to heal wee Morag  

Protecting ‘Jim’ 

This stunning scene in the Job memory: 

He is very clearly shown as a healer, protector and guardian of humanity, more so than any other character. 

Raphael is also known as a matchmaker, which is funny when you think about the Nina and Maggie situation but also makes total sense. Aziraphale loves love. Also he blows the trumpet to announce the Day of Judgement, aka the second coming. I guess Metatron needs Raphael back now huh? He even told Aziraphale himself that he is the only one qualified for this job. Aziraphale is Raphael. 

Or… he was.

I believe that Raphael was demoted following the fall, and Gabriel’s story is meant to mirror his. This scene says SO much: 

“You have refused to exercise your celestial authority, and are henceforth removed from office”

I think something similar absolutely could have happened to Raphael. We all saw how immediately drawn Aziraphale was to Crowley in ‘before the beginning,’ and it makes sense that Metatron could have seen that connection as a liability when he fell. He cannot have an Archangel in Heaven who is sympathetic to one of the fallen, it would be a ticking time bomb for another revolution. Aziraphale being sympathetic towards Angel!Crowley before and during the fall would make him question the fall as a concept, and Heaven could not afford that.

“For one Prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story, for it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem.”

I think the first prince of Heaven Metatron is referencing to is Crowley, and I think he had this same mindset of making sure there was no perceived institutional problem during the time of the fall. So I think that is one of the reasons why Raphael wasn’t cast down; it would look bad. I think the other reason is; Metatron wanted him and Crowley separated, even then. Even then there was some glimmer of their potential combined power, the love and danger that could be born by having them both in the same place with neither of them on Heaven’s side. The most logical option would be to cast Crowley out and make Aziraphale think he deserved it. Because Metatron is smart. He knew that keeping an angel like Crowley in Heaven—an angel who unapologetically asked questions and wasn’t afraid to go against the status quo, even before he fell—could only end badly. The smart move was to keep an angel like Aziraphale on—an angel who wants to believe, who needs to believe, that heaven is fundamentally right and good—and feed into his faith by manipulating his fear. 

(Editing to add- it’s presented as an either or. We will not send you to hell, we will wipe your memory and demote you. We will do A or B. This is why I think Gabriel’s story mirrors Aziraphale’s more than Crowley’s, because being cast down to hell and having your memory wiped was never on the table here. It’s either or.)

“Although as a kindness, your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. You will be demoted.”

“As a kindness, your memory of your time as Raphael will be erased. You won’t remember the Starmaker, you won’t remember the fall, you won’t remember the injustice. All you will remember is the war, the divine plan, God’s will and your undying faith to carry out that will. You will remember what not doing so costs, but you will never remember why. All you’ll remember is that you had better not ask, because look where that got the others. Oh, and you will be demoted to earth. You will not remember the incredible power you wield as an Archangel. Because if you hand power like that to someone with a powder keg of repressed questions it may spark an explosion, and we cannot afford that. Not again, Aziraphale.”

Now I want to talk about two specific scenes that relate heavily to this theory.

Before The Beginning

I think this memory has been altered, and there are two ways of looking at it.

Aziraphale remembers it just as shown on screen. 

But in Eden he genuinely seems as though he is meeting Crowley for the first time, and then when he introduces himself as ‘Crawley,’ Aziraphale consistently messes up and calls him that even after he changes it to Crowley. So I can deduce from that that if Aziraphale had known Crowley by another name for millennia before Eden he would very much struggle with remembering to call him Crawley to begin with. The fact that he doesn’t struggle at all makes me think that it truly is his first time learning this person's name, his first time meeting them.

Aziraphale does not remember this moment, it’s only shown to the audience for a season 3 payoff. 

But during the confession, Aziraphale says “like the old times, only even nicer.” re: Crowley becoming an angel again, which implies that Aziraphale remembers ‘the old times’ with him. He also says “I know the angel you were” during the Job scene. 

We are at a bit of a dead end here… or are we? A possible solution is that Aziraphale does remember ‘before the beginning,’ but that memory has been altered to remove Crowley’s involvement, à la Frozen (“I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic, to be safe… but don’t worry, I’ll leave the fun.”) The ‘magic’ in this instance being anything that would paint Crowley in a sympathetic light and the ‘fun’ being the actual events that transpired. That would also explain why he remembers it the way he does, aka why Crowley’s angel name is omitted and why he introduces himself as Aziraphale and not Raphael, but he still recalls the actual string of events. Because Aziraphale can’t just have large gaps in his memory. He has to actually remember the cold hard facts. Metatron is far too refined of a villain to leave holes in his soldiers’ minds, especially giant star-shaped love holes. Where was I going with this? Okay anyway…

So when Aziraphale says “like the old times, even nicer” he is not specifically referencing the Starmaker scene, but instead a more general ‘memory’ of Heavenly life, which makes total sense considering Aziraphale’s apparent blindness to the true detailed atrocities of Heaven. All he sees is the big picture anyway, that’s all he’s ever seen. Because… ‘even nicer’ ??? What do you mean NICER? A bureaucratic job will be nicer than watching the being you love build a universe?? Okay. 

Same goes for “I know the angel you were” from the Job scene. The wording is important here. He didn’t say “I knew the angel you were” or “I knew you in heaven.” It feels like he is a step away from saying “I know of the angel you were.” Which, in the context, makes sense. He is trying to use a personal plea as a last-ditch attempt to get Crowley to do what he thinks is right, he is not reminiscing on their time as besties. He’s already cycled through:

“You don’t have to do this!”

“You have free will!”

“I don’t think God wants this!”

“I don’t really think you want to either!”

And when Crowley asks “what do you know about what I want?” in that bitter tone, Aziraphale reads it as an in. He thinks a personal plea may be the thing to get Crowley to stop, so he uses it. It’s a tactic.

With all that in mind, I believe ‘before the beginning’ to be an altered memory. I believe that Aziraphale remembers the creation of the universe in general terms but does not remember the Starmaker or the feelings that were already beginning to take root inside of him. 

In The Beginning

I believe this to be an authentic memory, and if you look hard enough (aka are delusional and also insane) there are clues to support my ‘Aziraphale doesn’t remember' theory, starting with their first meeting.

Aziraphale does a few confused double takes (which, sure, could be interpreted as ‘oh fuck it’s you’ but I am choosing to not see it like that :)) and then politely smiles and laughs at what Crowley says before asking for clarification. This is absolutely giving ‘awkward first meeting with a stranger’ energy and not ‘oh fuck it’s my old bestie who is now damned.’ This is not a face of recognition, even fearful or reluctant recognition:

This is very much just giving ‘who the hell is this?’ Especially because it is then followed up with:

Aziraphale flat-out does not know who that is. He even closes his eyes for a second in what looks like confusion, as if he’s trying to remember. As if he’s trying to look where the furniture isn’t. And if I think he’s confusedly pursing his lips for a millisecond as if he wants to say a J name that’s my damn business.

They look sorrowful. I don’t know how I didn’t catch it the first few times I watched the show. This is the face of someone who just slithered up to an old friend and started having a chat as if it was the most natural thing in the world only for that friend to have no idea who they are anymore. Even as their face moves into a smile, it’s not real.

Babygirl looks like he’s experiencing the most haunting, ancient melancholia behind those lovely snake eyes. It’s actually quite striking. David Tennent you are on my hit list.

Anyway Crowley then goes on to question the ineffable plan in a way that’s very reminiscent of ‘before the beginning,’ which I believe to be intentional because they remember, and Aziraphale doesn’t. So Crowley is thinking to himself that maybe Aziraphale’s memory could be jogged with familiar behaviour. 

Crowley also goes on about the flaming sword, which I believe used to be theirs when they were the angel Jophiel, so the emphasis on it makes sense. 

They really said “what the fuck did you do with my sword?” But then when Aziraphale says he gave it away we get the most genuine display of emotion from Crowley that he’s shown during this entire sequence. 

He is impressed. He is remembering the angel who refused to exercise their celestial authority and got his memories stolen as a result. They are thinking there may still be hope after all.

Okay now let’s briefly talk about why I think Crowley does remember. I feel like this is a pretty easy one to get through as there are plenty of moments where Crowley references heaven and the fall in a very clear way, some of which I will drop right here:

All well and good, but one big question still remains: if Crowley knows, why the fuck did he not tell Aziraphale in six thousand years?

Well… why did Elsa not tell Anna about her powers? I know this analogy is a little silly and trust me I’m losing my mind right now, but hear me out. Elsa doesn’t tell Anna about her powers because she thinks it's in her best interest not to know. She thinks that knowing will put Anna at risk and that she will be to blame for that risk. Now look back on Crowley and Aziraphale’s history, terrible communication aside, they don’t tell each other things because they both think that they can handle it on their own and they both don’t want the other to be in danger. They both consistently hide important and dangerous things from one another. For example:

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale about the Hell Hound for 11 years

Neither of them realised that both of their team of human agents were Shadwell’s men

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale the details of his execution

Aziraphale didn’t tell Crowley that he met Shax on the way home from Scotland

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale that he got dragged to hell and offered a promotion from Beelzebub

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale about The Book of Life threat 

You get the point. It’s a pattern. And the details of the fall, stories from their distant past… these are lethal pieces of information. And we have to remember that both of them are essentially under constant surveillance. They never know when they’re truly alone or not, as we can also see with how much they side-step and rationalise their relationship away. They are both constantly terrified. Why would Crowley share information like this when they know how the acquisition of knowledge ended for the last group of angels? After all, Aziraphale wouldn’t like it in Hell.

Now there is also another very plausible explanation: Crowley is simply assuming that Aziraphale already does know and is following his perceived unspoken lead to never discuss it. Which again makes sense considering how fragile every aspect of their relationship is. It’s largely unspoken with a shared handbook of unspoken rules that they use to maintain the little bubble of companionship that they’re permitted to have. They have presumably never had a real conversation. So when would this ever realistically come up?

In conclusion, I need a lobotomy. But I want this to be true so badly as it does genuinely make sense in my sadly un-lobotomised little brain. As always, Neil Gaiman, I am in your walls. 

[bogmonstergeneral]

ok wait so

Crowley isn’t Raphael. very sorry.

but i think Aziraphale might be. Two quick things to consider:

Firstly - Aziraphale and Raphael.

Secondly - we know Neil pulls from different religions for Good Omens. In Islam, Raphael is Israfil.

Phonetics aside, let’s break it down a little. I'm gonna lay out some points all onto the table and we'll sort them at the end.

In Christianity and Judaism, Raphael is a healer. In The Book of Tobit, he is disguised as a human, and acts as a physician and expels demons.

In Christianity, he is the patron of of travelers, the blind, happy meetings, nurses, physicians, marriage, Catholic studies, medical workers, and matchmakers.

In Islam, Israfil's job is to hold a trumpet to his lips at the ready for The Second Coming.

In astrology, he's associated with the sun, and, if we wanted to throw Milton a bone - in Paradise Lost, he's assigned to Eden to warn Adam of the consequences of eating the apple.

In season 1, we see Aziraphale heal Anathema, and in season 2, we see him almost excited to heal wee Morag. In episode three, we also see him pretending to be a doctor, although I think this has less to do with his character and more to do with the plot of the episode. Obviously, the expels demons part... he's not too hot at that, considering he certainly didn't expel Crawly. But it was absolutely in his job description.

That matchmaker thing feels almost too on the nose.

In season two, the Metatron asks Aziraphale to rejoin heaven as an archangel to carryout the second coming, which parallels Israfil's job (of course, we have no idea what kind of work he's about to do up there. Maybe he'll be doing paperwork, maybe they'll have him ready with a trumpet to announce the second coming. I certainly don't know.)

And, of course - Raphael is associated with the sun; the sun rises in the east; Aziraphale is the guardian of the eastern gate. And the idea that Neil might have pulled from Paradise Lost is a bit of a stretch, but we have another parallel if I'm not overreaching.

Of course, there's a lot that would prove me otherwise. And I am often wrong! I am also sick right now, so I might be very wrong.

[irregularcircle]

For a few minutes, they watched the fireworks rise and explode above the skyline, transfixed by the blossoming, dancing lights, which reflected on the dark water below. Then, Jaya smiled and turned to his date again, hoping he sounded smoother and more confident than he felt.

"Lady Kalara, I've had a wonderful evening, and hope that my humble efforts to amuse you have been successful. I know I promised you the biggest fire blossom in the entire city-" He gestured to the fireworks, one of which was bursting in the shape of a golden flower.

And then, with a hint of a sly grin and a gesture that Kalara didn't quite see, he produced something from behind him. "…But it felt only right to make sure you received a real one as well."

Drawn as a Valentine's Day/Matchmaker art exchange for @theuncrucified It's up in the air whether a Wood Aspect Dragonblood (he's Lookshyan, not a Dynast, calm down) and a big scary Anathema mesh well... but at least it looks like it was a nice evening!

[petalsmooth]

Apparently it's anathema to suggest Colin resembles his father and a fan to suggest it's poetical that Hyacinth gravitates unconsciously towards him despite never having met her father.

Now I don't know if I would agree with the theorizing but it's hardly something to get bent out of shape about. Hyacinth mostly argues with Gregory, eavesdrops on her siblings and is protective towards them. We haven't seen a lot of it her but so far but it's not exactly untrue she seems to have been featured nearer to Colin than the others in the BRIEF periods onscreen. But I'd argue same true of Eloise if take back ground shots into account vs just scripted moments. I tend to think Luke is just a favorite on set to explain the latter. Not everyone is comfortable entertaining children which they WERE when cast inbetween filming.

Anyway, certain fanbase upset because claim Anthony is her father figure and not Colin. I don't think anyone SAID he was her father figure. Just that he resembled Edmund the most which is probably true. But if they want to talk about father figures, exactly when did d we see that onscreen? I know book and all but onscreen Anthony was being called out by Violet in season 1 for spending all his time with his mistress and neglecting familial duties. I didn't get any sense he was the "father" figure that season. Season 2 has a conversation with Gregory toward the end of the season and admits never really talked of their father. It was the only time he did sort of act like a parental figure.

Daphne sure as hell doesn't view him as a father. Nor does Benedict. Francesca form little we've seen views him as an older brother and authority figure but not a father. Eloise and Anthony haven't really had a lot of interaction so who knows there. I do not think Colin views him as a father although I think he does want his approval but as an older brother.

They also decided to disparage Colin for traveling and never being around but he's traveled a grand total of TWO year's. This last year ANTHONY WAS ALSO TRAVELING ON HONEYMOON AND NOT THERE EITHER. Wow....one whole 4-6 months of travel not at beck and call of family while Anthony is home, why however will we manage in the comparisons. lol

Not that the books mean anything at this stage since the show does what it wants but since they seem inclined to cite the books and his role as "father figure" it should be noted Colin was Eloise's favorite brother. She said it. It should be noted Hyacinth was said to be most like Colin. When Gregory was desperate to spy on his future wife, it was Colin sitting in a tree with him. Colin was the one who was matchmaking Francesca with Michael. He also sort of played a role in Kate and Anthony meeting up. And he and Daphne were supposed to be closer to each other than anyone else. If they are letting Colin be shown closer to his siblings this year then I say it's about damn time because he SHOULD be. It's rather frustrating actually having Colin say each year that they barely write him back.

[thescholarlystrumpet]

"A Match Made in Tadfield"?! First off, WHAT a great title! Anything you want to share???

Sure! I wrote almost the whole damn thing in 2019 based on a cute prompt where Anathema gets a final prophecy to play matchmaker for demon and angel.

The reason it never got posted is that it’s missing a chunk in the third act that I never got around to writing 😅🙃

**

Snippet:

“Newt and I were thinking of taking a vacation together now that things have calmed down. Somewhere romantic,” she announced.

“We were?” Newt’s head jerked up from his plate.

She kicked his shin lightly and he slapped his forehead with one hand.

“Oh, right! Sorry darling, I’d, um, nearly forgotten that plan.”

Subtle as a brick to the head, that man of hers. God, she loved him. She patted his arm.

“Yes, so. Seems you two have done some traveling - any recommendations?”

Crowley looked at her directly for possibly the first time all evening. She met his gaze as best she could behind those dark glasses. He raised one eyebrow. “Atlantis was quite nice,” he drawled.

[qe-podfic]

Quantum Entangled - Chapter 8

Fic Summary:

They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.

This is the chapter where @mrghostrat is officially introduced! :)

Rating: Mature

Words: 62,152

Relationships:

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters:

Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling

Additional Tags:

Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed

Language: English

[foolishlovers]

4 & 12 for GO fanfiction rec please

With others already assuming they r together if possible 🤭

4. Friends to Lovers

Barriers, and the Breaking Thereof by Cardinal_Daughter (71k, M) Ezra Fell has long been comfortable in his loneliness. He’s content to simply run the Soho Public Library and otherwise keep to himself. However, when a handsome stranger bursts in one evening with a baby, frantic and in need of help, Ezra finds those carefully constructed barriers he’s long maintained begin to crack. Perhaps it’s time to let them fall. Human AU. Complete.

12. Mutual Pining

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (56k, T) A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)   "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context…" "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "….huh."   (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

[50shadesofoctarine]

Quantum Entangled - Chapter 6

Fic Summary:

They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.

Rating: Mature

Words: 37,963

Relationships:

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters:

Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens)

Additional Tags:

Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens)

Language: English

[jokerlennon]

I LIED I COULD FIX HER. first of all get rid of the minisodes i cant believe im advocating for less david tennant and michael sheen being brilliant but i KNOW theyve been in love for a million years what are they doing NOW. not in tha past NOW. what's up now that armageddon didn't fucking happen . how does their dynamic change now that theh did distinctly team up against everybody else. also what about the THEM please i need to know. anathema learning to live without prophecies i know we took a sharp left into romcomville but come the fuck on 😭 maybe make beelzebub and gabriels relationship more fleshed out make it more interesting not just wow they did manage to get away maybe we could too etc. while im on the topic of ineffable husbands but Not the ladies whose name i keep fucking forgetting because they barely do anything MAKE THEM MORE 3D i like the matchmaking while projecting angle but that's literally all they were.... the end drove me nuts again ofc i knowww they set up heaven a bit different here than in the book but he would not have fucking said yes to that this is my firm belief. why am i still typing i never want to think about this show again! post over!!!!!!