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Olivia Senghor, born in 1978 in Senegal, Dakar, is a musician and makeup artist living in the Bronx. She is of the Serer ethic group, and her primary languages are French and Wolof. She was raised as a Catholic, and is the granddaughter of the first president of Senegal, Leopold Sedhar Senghor. At the age of 8, her family moved to Paris, where she lived in a neighborhood primarily inhabited by Jews and Asians. Both of her parents were very well educated—her father had a law degree, and her mother held an MBA. Consequently, they expected Olivia and her siblings to take education seriously and to become professionals in their own right. Olivia first discovered her talent for art when she was in public school in France. She began entering competitions and winning prizes for her work. At the same time, she became involved in music. She was surrounded by music from a young age—her parents favored an eclectic mix of West Indian, Portuguese, soul, and jazz, and her older siblings were interested in American and European hip-hop and R&B. Olivia began singing with some other girls her age, and eventually they formed a group called Baby Norton. The group was signed to BMG Arista (the same label that had signed Whitney Houston and TLC), and their debut album met with moderate success. The group was dropped soon after, however, in the wake of much more popular female groups such as Destiny’s Child and the Spice Girls. Despite this short-lived success, Olivia remained deeply involved in hip-hop culture. She would attend hip-hop parties and get-togethers throughout Paris, where she would make contact with other devotees and scene members.
After a while, Olivia grew tired of living at home. After graduating high school, instead of going to college, she moved to England, as she was too apprehensive to move to the US. She was intimidated both by the US’s distance and the international association with gangland violent crime that surrounds US hip-hop culture. In London she worked some jobs on the side while attending a beautician’s school and perfecting her English. She had first become interested in makeup art during her time in Baby Norton, and she discovered that she was something of a natural with cosmetic tools. She thus decided that she wanted to pursue cosmetics as a career. She soon grew tired of London life, and she moved to Miami, both to find new opportunities and to see if she could jump start her singing career. In Miami she immediately found work as a cosmetician for a number of performing artists, including Jacki-O, a Dirty South rapper of considerable notoriety. However, the culture she was living in was alienating, cutthroat, and dangerous. Most people she lived and worked with abided by a “law of the street” in which every person selfishly sought their own interests above everyone else’s. Her coworkers and clients were frequently suspicious, avaricious, and prone to violence, and Olivia did not feel safe or welcome in her occupation. In addition, even though she was black, African-Americans resented her and treated her as if she did not belong in Miami, since she was of foreign descent. People preyed upon Olivia because she was trusting and did not carry herself like a thug. In fact, once she decided that she’d had enough of being mistreated, one of her clients robbed her of everything she owned and threatened her life. She thus moved to New York, where she works as a makeup artist today. She has plans to own her own salon some day, and at the time of interview, was executive producing a documentary about African immigrants in New York.
on Fordham University
#olivia senghor#makeup#makeup artist#cape verde#cape vert#senegal#professional makeup artist#florida#sarasota#united states#beauty without borders#hair care#hair master classes#makeup master classes#a la mode management
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Paint It Black Chapter 3

Teen Natasha Romanoff x Teen Reader
Masterlist | General Masterlist
Summary: Natasha Romanoff has never known love—or at least, that’s what she tells herself. During her time in the Red Room, she encountered a girl whose memory was forcibly erased from her mind. Now, as an Avenger, she faces a new enemy who turns out to be more than just a threat; they share a tangled history that challenges everything Natasha thought she knew about herself and love.
Chapter Summary: Natasha learns who to trust in the Red Room
W/c: 5.2k
Warnings: This is a dark story, so read at your own risk. Mentions/hints of SA, violence, guns, and abuse. We're exploring the Red Room and Natasha's origins, kind of.
Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift - Mary Oliver
You'd learned a lot of party tricks since you became Dreykov's best girl. You'd been trained by some of the world's deadliest martial artists and snipers. You knew how to make an arrow pierce through the toughest skin. You could crush your enemies' windpipe without your bow's help. You could use a man's tie against him and bring him to his knees in seconds.
You had learned early on that survival in the Red Room wasn’t just about strength or precision—it was about illusion. It was about shaping yourself into whatever they needed you to be, bending and twisting your identity until you could barely recognize your reflection.
When you were twelve, one of the older Widows taught you makeup—not just how to wear it, but how to weaponize it. Lipstick wasn’t just a shade; it was a story. A bold red screamed confidence and control. A soft pink whispered innocence. The faintest hint of gloss could disarm even the sharpest of men.
The etiquette classes were the worst. Hour after hour of balancing books on your head, learning the perfect angle for a smile, the exact tilt of your chin that would make you appear approachable but not too eager. You were drilled in dining etiquette, how to sip champagne without smudging your lipstick, laugh at jokes you didn’t find funny, and dance just close enough to your target to keep their guard down.
They taught you how to pretend to be smart—not too smart, but just enough to stroke a man’s ego without intimidating him. You mastered the art of asking questions you already knew the answers to, of feigning curiosity to keep the conversation flowing.
Every lesson was a reminder that you weren’t being prepared to live. You were being prepared to infiltrate, to seduce, to kill.
You still remembered the first time you saw yourself in the mirror after they finished with you—a little girl’s body dressed up like a woman. The makeup made your face look older, the heels forced your back straight, and the dress clung to you like a second skin. You didn’t recognize the person staring back.
"You’ll grow into it," the instructor had said, adjusting a curl in your hair. "By the time we’re done with you, you’ll be perfect."
Perfect. That’s what they wanted. A perfect soldier. A perfect spy. A perfect party trick.
And they had almost succeeded. Almost.
You had become everything they wanted you to be, yet somewhere deep inside, you had kept a piece of yourself hidden—a touch of defiance, a spark of who you were before they took you.
You didn’t need a party.
You didn’t need their approval.
You needed freedom.
And one day, you were going to take it.
****
After the meeting with Dreykov, you felt a wave of exhaustion wash over you. You tried not to scratch at the skin of your arms. You tried not to focus on the places he’d touched. You walked briskly through the cold, sterile hallways.
As you reached the nearest bathroom, you pushed the door open and slipped inside, grateful for the reprieve from everyone. The bathroom was small, with harsh lighting and chipped tiles, but it felt like a sanctuary compared to the outside world. You leaned against the cool metal sink, slowly closing your eyes to collect yourself. Opening them, you felt heavier than before. The mascara smudged as you rubbed at your eyes.
Your reflection in the mirror looked exhausted, pale, and drawn, as though someone had taken a paintbrush and erased all the color. With one hand, you gripped the sink, and with the other, you shoved it down your throat.
You gagged as bile rose into your mouth, hot and burning. Your stomach contracted and heaved.
This particular party trick only helped you.
********
She hadn’t seen you in a while. Four days, thirteen hours, and twelve minutes, to be exact. It wasn’t like she was counting. You weren’t friends or anything. Widows in training came and went all the time, whether for training, on missions, or worse.
Death.
Natasha had learned not to become attached. Your presence had annoyed her since the first time she spoke to you. You were like an unwelcome buzzing in her ear. You didn’t listen like the other girls. You talked back. You were defiant. You got into trouble. You had resilience and determination in ways the other girls didn’t. Something she wished she could be. Natasha had drive and determination. She was the best in her class. She moved up an age group since returning from Cuba. She was good with a gun, she was fast on her feet, and she could quickly pick up new skills. The one thing she hadn't mastered was her poker face.
Her eyes scanned the room as she ate alone. It was time for a day meal. An hour where the girls were able to let loose just a little. Everyone sat near their favorite colleagues. The word friend should never be in a Widow’s vocabulary. Natasha didn’t have many. None that she wanted any. It made things more painful when she had to pull the trigger.
As she ate, she looked for two people in the room and didn’t see either of them as expected. The first one is you. Your absence had caused quite a stir in the commons. The widow's gossip about you and what’s become of you. Some girls in your age group had mentioned dishonorable things that Natasha didn’t care to replay in her mind. Though she thought nothing of you, she refused to believe bad things. The other person was Yelena. It had been a few months, and her former mission mate would be seven now.
In the years before, Yelena’s birthday was spent in the comfort of their own home. Alexei would grill burgers. Melina would decorate the den with balloons, streamers, unicorns, and pony things that the little girl liked. Natasha was always in charge of keeping her sister occupied. They would run around the backyard until the parents, Melina and Alexei, would come out with a cake and candles for her to blow out.
It was a good memory that Natasha allowed herself to hold onto. It was stupid. None of it was real. Yet everything about it warmed her heart. Memories like that kept her sane. One day, she would be free, and she could make memories like that again if she got the chance.
Natasha looked down at her tray. Lunch consisted of Pirozhki, a stuffed roll with minced beef and rice. There were also a ton of vegetables that Natasha wasn’t fond of. While the Red Room was another hell on earth, the girls were fed well. Their bodies needed it to remain healthy and strong enough to fight.
Natasha took her time biting into her food. Despite the lump in her throat, she chewed her food while keeping her eyes up. She only ate half before she decided it was not for her. She stood, walking over to the trash bin, before clearing her plate. She wiped her hands against the leg of her black sweatpants. She eyed the two guards at the entrance of the cafeteria. Demetri and Igor. They’d worked there for as long as she could remember. She approached the door with an excuse already at the tip of her tongue.
“Kuda ty idesh? (Where are you going?)” Igor’s hand pressed against Natasha’s shoulder, his voice sharp.
Natasha paused but didn’t look at him. “I am going to the infirmary,” she said in English, her tone clipped. Since returning to the Red Room, she had refused to speak Russian unless necessary. It wasn’t defiance—not entirely—but a quiet rebellion against a country that allowed men like Dreykov to exist unchecked.
Igor’s brows furrowed, and he exchanged a glance with Demetri. “Zachem? (Why?)”
“I have my period.” Natasha’s voice was steady, and she met their gazes without a hint of embarrassment.
Both men immediately looked uncomfortable. Demetri muttered something under his breath and opened the door. Natasha didn’t wait for a formal dismissal. She slipped through before they could change their minds, her steps quiet on the worn linoleum floor.
The hallways were dimly lit, and the air smelled faintly of antiseptic. Natasha passed several doors before she reached the infirmary. Her hand hesitated on the knob. She shouldn’t care about you—not here, not now. But she did.
Turning the knob, she opened the door just enough to peek inside. Voices drifted through the crack, low and tense.
“You need a break,” Nora’s voice was firm, though tinged with concern. “She’s been pushed too far, Madam B. Her body can’t keep up at this rate.”
“She’s fine.” Madam B.’s tone was clipped, her frustration evident.
“Widows are made of marble, is that it?” Nora countered, sarcasm dripping from her words. “She’s not marble. She’s flesh and blood, just like the rest of us.”
“Enough!” Madam B. snapped, her voice cutting through the tension like a knife. “We do not coddle here, Doctor.”
“She’s still a child,” Nora shot back, her voice firm and determined. “A growing girl who needs her rest if you want her to carry out any of her duties.”
Madam B. stilled, her lips pressing into a thin line. The word child hung in the air like a taboo, an unwelcome reminder of the humanity the Red Room sought to erase.
“She ceased being a child the moment she stepped into this place,” Madam B. said coldly, her eyes narrowing.
“And yet her body hasn’t caught up to your expectations, has it?” Nora’s voice softened slightly, though it didn’t lose its edge. “You can push, break, and mold them—but they are still human. Y/N needs time to heal, or she’ll collapse in the middle of your next mission.”
“She wouldn’t dare,” Madam B. said sharply, her gaze flickering to you where you sat on the infirmary bed, silent but seething.
“I wouldn’t,” you said defiantly, your voice cutting through the tense exchange. “I don’t need a break. I’m fine.”
Nora turned to you, her expression softening. “Y/N, this isn’t a competition. It’s your health—”
“I said I’m fine,” you snapped, your hands balling into fists. “Widows don’t need rest. We don’t break.”
Madam B.’s gaze lingered on you long before she returned to Nora. “You see? She understands the stakes. Weakness is not an option.”
“Then you’re a fool,” Nora muttered under her breath, though not quietly enough.
Madam B.’s sharp glare returned to the doctor, but a quiet creak drew their attention before the tension could escalate further.
The infirmary door was slightly ajar. Natasha stood frozen in the opening, her green eyes darting between the women.
Madam B’s eyes narrowed as she glanced toward the door. “Watch her,” she commanded Nora before letting out a sharp huff and storming out of the room. The door slam echoed through the infirmary, leaving a tense silence.
Natasha pressed tightly against the wall outside and held her breath. Her heart pounded as she strained to listen for footsteps fading down the hallway. She waited—one second, two, three—until she was sure Madam B had left.
Carefully, she peeked around the corner to ensure the coast was clear. Satisfied, she stepped closer to the infirmary door. Her hand hovered over the knob, hesitating.
Inside, Nora sighed as she adjusted the cuff of the blood pressure monitor around your arm. “You really need to care more for yourself,” she muttered as she scribbled notes on a clipboard.
“You really need to stop worrying about me,” you replied, shaking your head.
“I’ve been worrying about you since you were four years old,” Nora said sharply, her eyes meeting yours.
You hesitated, unsure how to respond. Nora had been the closest thing you had to stability in this place. Her care had always been a confusing blend of warmth and frustration, a kindness wrapped in thorns. You could never understand why she cared so much. Why did she care at all?
Before you could think of something to say, you changed the subject. “How’s this love story with the scientist going?”
Nora froze, her brow furrowing as she shot you a pointed look. “Melina Vostokoff is a respected Widow who is incredibly smart,” she began curtly. “There is no love story. And you know it’s dangerous to talk like that.”
“You know Melina?” Natasha’s voice cut through the conversation as she stepped into the room.
Nora spun on her heel, her expression hardening as her eyes locked on Natasha. “What are you doing here?” she snapped, her tone sharp. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Natasha hesitated, her hands curling into fists at her sides. “I just—”
“You just nothing,” Nora interrupted coldly, stepping forward. “Do you think this is a game? That you can wander wherever you please? Do you even understand the danger you’re putting yourself in by being here?” She gestured toward you, her anger flaring.
“Nora,” you said softly, sitting up straighter.
Nora ignored you, her eyes still fixed on Natasha. “You have no idea what she’s been through—what we’ve all been through. And now you think you can just walk in here and—”
“Nora,” you said again, more firmly this time.
Nora finally looked at you, her jaw tight.
“It’s okay,” you said, your voice steady. “Let her stay.”
Nora’s shoulders sagged slightly, her anger dissipating into more like exasperation. She glanced back at Natasha, her eyes narrowing. “If anything happens, it’s on you,” she muttered before returning to work.
Natasha stepped closer to you, her movements careful, almost hesitant. Her eyes flickered to Nora, who was now busying herself with the clipboard, and then back to you.
"Hello," Natasha whispered.
"Dobro pozhalovat (welcome)," You said, not looking at her.
Natasha didn’t know why she came. Curiosity, maybe. Or something deeper she wasn’t ready to name. She stood stiffly in the doorway, one hand gripping the frame as she scanned the room.
You were sitting in bed, your posture slouched but tense, eyes staring ahead as if avoiding any attempt to connect—whether with the walls, the room, or anyone.
“Are you sick?” Natasha asked, her voice soft, though her eyes were sharp as they scanned your body for any signs of injury. There were no bruises, bandages, or anything that would explain your absence.
“I wish,” you muttered with a sigh, fingers tracing aimlessly over a loose thread in the blanket that covered your lap. “Just getting evaluated,” you excused yourself, trying to shrug it off.
“You’ve missed all your training sessions.” Natasha pressed, her gaze intense as she approached cautiously.
“Keeping up with my schedule?” You raised an eyebrow, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Are you my new handler?”
“No,” Natasha replied quietly, her throat tight momentarily. “I thought we were friends.”
You didn’t answer right away, your lips pressing into a thin line. But you didn’t deny her, either. The silence between you two stretched, uncomfortable in its weight.
Nora kept her eyes on your chart from the corner, deliberately avoiding any direct attention. She'd never seen you regard anyone with such softness. You weren’t open with anyone other than her.
“You’re not going to go and report this to the other widows, are you?” You finally broke the silence, eyes narrowing slightly.
“The other widows are not my friends,” Natasha said, calm but firm. She let her gaze flicker toward Nora momentarily before returning to you. “You know Melina?”
Nora's response was clipped, her words tight and minimal. “She’s gone,” she said when Natasha asked about Melina’s whereabouts. “Don’t know where, don’t need to.” She didn’t look up from your chart as she spoke, not offering any more information. Her gaze remained focused on the paper in front of her, the lines of your vitals there, as if pretending not to notice the growing tension in the air.
After a long pause, she finally sighed, rolling her shoulders back as she stood up. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she muttered, making it clear she wasn’t interested in offering anything more.
With a curt nod to Natasha, she stepped toward the door, leaving you and Natasha alone in the sterile quiet of the room.
Natasha stood there momentarily, unsure of what to do, her thoughts swirling around the brief, cryptic exchange. She glanced back at you, her expression softening just a little.
“Is that your mom?” Natasha asked, her voice low and tentative, though the curiosity in her tone couldn’t be hidden. She didn’t wait for an immediate answer; she just leaned against the wall, her eyes still on you, waiting for a response.
"You see the resemblance?" You said flatly. "Nora is not my mother. Though she likes to pretend she cares."
"She seemed soft with you," Natasha offered, watching your reaction closely. "Not like the other Widows. Not like the guards."
Natasha shifted uncomfortably, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the wall. She looked at you, her gaze unwavering but uncertain, as if trying to piece together her own reasoning for being there.
You huffed, shaking your head. “Softness is just another strategy. You know that.”
Natasha didn’t respond immediately. Her eyes flicked toward the door where Nora had exited moments ago and then back to you. “Maybe. Or maybe she’s different.”
You scoffed, but there wasn’t much conviction behind it. “Why are you here, Natasha? You’ve never been one to check up on anyone.” You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes as if trying to read her. “So why me?”
Natasha hesitated. It wasn’t a question she’d asked herself before walking into the room, but now it hung between you, heavy and unavoidable. She shifted her weight, her fingers brushing over the edge of the wall she leaned on.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice almost too soft to hear. She looked down briefly, her lips pressed into a thin line, before meeting your eyes again. “Maybe I was curious. Or... maybe I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Why would you care?” you asked, your tone blunt but not unkind. “I’m just another Widow, right?”
Natasha shook her head, stepping closer to the bed. “No, you’re not. You’re... different.”
You raised a brow, leaning back slightly. “Different, how?”
Natasha didn’t answer right away. She stood there. Finally, she said, “You don’t let this place break you. I’ve seen it. You don’t let them win.”
Your gaze softened, but your walls didn’t crumble entirely. “And what about you?” you asked. “Are you letting them win?”
Natasha didn’t flinch at the question, but its weight settled in her chest. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “But I’m trying not to.”
"I am to train you,"
"You?" Natasha blinked, her surprise evident. "Aren't you too young?"
"They say I'm the best,"
"Then, why not use your talents on a mission?"
"Leaving this place is too much of a privilege," You shrugged. "I am meant to be here. I am meant to be his."
"Does he hurt you?" Natasha asked.
You paused, your expression unreadable. You didn't want to answer. It felt like admitting weakness, like giving in. "I'll live."
"That's not what I asked,"
Natasha frowned, her curiosity gnawing at her despite your apparent resistance. “You’re not like the others,” she said cautiously, watching for any shift in your expression. “He treats you differently.”
You let out a low, humorless laugh, shaking your head. “You ask too many questions. You’ll do best not to in the future.”
“I just want to understand,” Natasha pressed. “How did you become so close with him?”
“If I had a straight answer, you’d have it,” you muttered, your voice low and even, your fingers absently fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve. “But if I were to guess, it’s probably because I’m a good fighter. Maybe the best. That’s all that matters to him.”
Natasha’s brow furrowed. “He doesn’t treat you like a child.”
“No, he doesn’t,” you replied, your tone sharp, almost cutting. “What is it that you really want to know? What happens when I meet with him? It’s private.”
“It’s not nothing,” Natasha said softly. “I can see it. It’s not.”
“No,” you agreed, your voice quieter now but no less firm. “It’s not. But it’s none of your business.”
“You’re too young to—” Natasha started, but you cut her off.
“I am young,” you said sharply, sitting up straighter, your gaze hard. “And I’m the best. That’s a gift and a curse. He gives me gifts, and I give him something of myself in return. I’ve gotten used to it.”
Natasha’s stomach turned at your words, but she didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure she wanted to push further, not when you were unwilling to share.
You sighed, your shoulders relaxing just slightly as you glanced at her. “I’ll train you,” you said, your voice softening, “but I won’t tell you things about my life. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”
Natasha hesitated, her mind racing with unspoken questions and uneasy thoughts, but in the end, she nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly.
*******
The door to Dreykov’s office loomed taller than Natasha expected, its dark wood heavy and foreboding. She hesitated before knocking, her fist pausing mid-air. No one talked about what happened inside. Girls went in and came out changed—quieter, sharper, colder.
The door opened with a groan, and Natasha stepped inside. The warmth hit her first, different from the biting chill that filled the rest of the Red Room. A space heater purred softly under the desk, and the faint smell of tobacco lingered in the air. She didn’t know what she expected—something barren and clinical, maybe—but this wasn’t that. Shelves lined the walls, packed with books she doubted he read. A globe sat in the corner, and photographs she didn’t dare look at too closely caught the light from the desk lamp.
“Natasha,” He greeted, not looking up right away. He sat behind a wide desk of polished mahogany, his large hands resting flat on the surface. His tone wasn’t harsh but didn’t invite ease, either. He gestured to the chair opposite him. “Sit.”
Natasha did as told, tucking her hands into her lap.
He studied her for a long moment, his eyes roaming over her body before resting on her face. His gaze was unnerving. It reminded her of a hawk eyeing a mouse, calculating and cold.
“You’ve been doing well,” Dreykov began, lifting his gaze to meet hers. His eyes were sharp and calculating, making her feel like he could see through her skin. “Top marks in marksmanship. Hand-to-hand combat. Strategy. Impressive for someone so… young.”
“Thank you, sir,” Natasha replied carefully. Her voice was steady, even though her heart was pounding.
“Do you know why you’re here?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, his fingers tapping idly against the desk.
Natasha hesitated. She didn’t know. Not really. “No, sir.”
Dreykov smiled faintly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve caught my attention, Natasha. That is not an easy thing to do.”
She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing.
“But,” he continued, his voice softening in a way that somehow made it more dangerous, “attention can be fleeting. Do you know what keeps it?”
“No, sir.”
“Loyalty,” he said, leaning forward now, his elbows resting on the desk. “Obedience. Dedication. Do you have these things?”
“Yes, sir,” Natasha answered quickly.
Dreykov studied her for a long moment, the silence thick and uncomfortable. She wanted to look away but didn’t dare.
"You're familiar with y/n?" Dreykov asked.
She didn't know how to answer the question. She didn't know how much he knew. If he knew, she would be in trouble, too.
"She is a fighter and the best of the Red Room," Dreykov continued.
"Yes, sir," Natasha answered, swallowing hard.
"And do you respect her?" Dreykov's eyes bored into hers, unrelenting.
"Yes, sir," she said, forcing herself to maintain eye contact.
Dreykov was silent for a long moment as if contemplating her answer.
"She is to train you," He finally said, his gaze not wavering. "You will report everything back to me. Your training, your progress, her attitude and treatment of you."
"I don't understand," Natasha said, her brows furrowing. "Why?"
"Because you're special," Dreykov said, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Because I have plans for you, and I need to ensure y/n does not interfere."
Dreykov’s gaze didn’t waver as Natasha processed his words, her thoughts running a mile a minute. How could you interfere? What could you possibly do to derail his plans? Natasha didn’t understand.
The confusion must have been written all over her face because Dreykov chuckled—a deep, humorless sound that sent a chill down her spine.
“Ah, you’re wondering, aren’t you?” he said, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on the desk. “How could she possibly get in the way?”
Natasha didn’t respond. She didn’t trust herself to speak, her jaw tightening as she forced herself to remain composed.
Dreykov smirked, the expression cold and sharp. “Y/N is… how shall I put this? A jealous little thing,” he said, his tone almost mocking. “She doesn’t like to share. Especially not with me. You trust her?"
"I do,"
"Don't. Don't trust anyone,"
"Not even you?"
Dreykov laughed. "Especially not me."
Natasha didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. Her mind raced, the warning ringing in her ears. She wanted to ask him what he meant, but the words stuck in her throat. A knock at the door broke the tension before she could muster the courage to speak.
“Come in,” He called smoothly, leaning back in his chair, his smirk firmly in place.
The door creaked open, and you stepped inside. Natasha barely recognized you. Gone was the confident fighter she’d seen earlier in the training halls. In your place stood a girl—more petite, somewhat more fragile, with your shoulders held high. Your dress was simple, patterned with tiny flowers, its soft colors highlighting your youth. You looked pretty. Beautiful if she dared to think it. For the first time, you looked your age: fourteen.
Natasha watched as you crossed the room without sparing her a glance. It struck her as deliberate. You kept your eyes forward, focused solely on Dreykov, and your expression was carefully blank.
His smile widened as his eyes roved over your appearance, a glint of satisfaction gleaming in them. “Perfect,” he said, gesturing toward you. “Doesn’t she look like a proper child, Natasha? A flower among thorns.”
Natasha’s stomach twisted at how he spoke and appraised you as though you were nothing more than a tool he’d shaped with his own hands.
“Someone will teach you how to blend in,” Dreykov continued, his gaze shifting to Natasha. “How to act like a child. Then, how to act like a woman. It’s a skill, you know. One you’ll need.”
Natasha’s brows furrowed. The idea felt foreign to her—learning to act like something she was supposed to be. “I don’t understand,” she said quietly, daring to speak despite the tension thickening in the room.
“Of course, you don’t,” Dreykov said, his tone condescending. “But you will. There’s a reason I’ve paired you with her.” He nodded toward you, and Natasha caught the faintest flicker of something—an emotion she couldn’t place—across your face before it disappeared. “She’ll show you. Watch her. Learn from her.”
You finally spoke, your voice softer than Natasha had ever heard it. “What do you need me to do, sir?”
Dreykov’s grin returned. “Everything you already do, my dear. And perhaps a little more. Natasha will shadow you for a time. Set an example for her. Show her how to be... convincing.”
You nodded stiffly, your movements almost mechanical. Natasha couldn’t tell if you were resigned or simply afraid.
She watched you with a growing sense of unease, unsure of what she was seeing. She couldn't pinpoint the shift in the air. Maybe it was the way you moved, the way you held yourself. You were afraid of him. Truly afraid of him. Every display of bravado she'd seen of you with others was thrown out of the window. You were small. Fragile. Vulnerable.
It scared her.
******
As the door shut behind you, the silence was almost unbearable. You walked ahead, your steps quiet and purposeful, refusing to meet Natasha’s gaze. She followed you down the hallway, barely able to keep up with the pace you set.
Finally, Natasha broke the silence. “Do you always wear dresses like that for him?” The words came out sharper than she intended, her voice laced with something between curiosity and accusation.
You stopped abruptly, turning on your heel to face her. You looked less fragile momentarily, the fire she’d seen in the training halls flickering behind your eyes. “What do you think?” you snapped, your tone cutting.
Natasha stared at you, searching for an answer, unsure of what she was looking for. “I don’t know. You won’t tell me anything.”
“And I don’t plan to,” you shot back. “You’re not here to know me, Romanova. You’re here to watch and learn. Do that.”
Natasha felt the sting of your words, but she refused to back down. “He thinks you’re jealous of me. That you don’t want me around.”
You flinched at that, just barely, but it was enough for Natasha to notice. “He doesn’t know anything,” you muttered, your voice quieter now, tinged with bitterness.
“Doesn’t he?” Natasha challenged, stepping closer. “He’s got you wrapped around his finger, hasn’t he? Playing dress-up, doing whatever he tells you to do.”
Your jaw tightened, and for a moment, Natasha thought you might lash out. Instead, you smirked, though there was no humor in it. “And you’re any different? Do you think he doesn’t have plans for you, too? You’re just another piece on his board, Romanoff. Don’t kid yourself.”
The words hit harder than Natasha expected, but she kept her expression neutral. “At least I’m not pretending I have control,” she said evenly, her eyes narrowing.
Your smirk faltered, and Natasha caught a flicker of something—hurt, maybe, or anger. “You don’t get it,” you said quietly, almost whispering. “You don’t know what it’s like to be... useful. To matter.”
Natasha opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. She didn’t know what it was like—not really. But she could see the weight of it now, the burden you carried. And for the first time, she wondered if Dreykov’s warning wasn’t about jealousy but the cracks in your armor that he didn’t want her to see.
You turned away before she could say anything else, your steps brisk as you returned to the training hall. “You don’t need to understand,” you said over your shoulder, your voice cold again. “Just keep up.”
Natasha watched you go, a knot tightening in her chest. She didn’t know if she wanted to follow yr fight you, but she knew one thing for sure: Dreykov was right. You were dangerous—but not in the way he thought.
#natasha romanoff#black reader#natasha x reader#black widow x reader#natasha romanov#black widow x female reader#natasha x you
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Elemental Masters in the movie-verse headcanons
Morro - Lloyd Garmadon's emo cousin and a college student who is kind of in a gang that commits a few crimes here and there, which is fine because people already assume he's evil for being related to Lloyd
Skylor - She inherited Chen's Noodle fortune after her father went to prison under mysterious circumstances. Has the best cooking in home ec class. It's even better than Zane's. She and Nya are an unstoppable duo in gym class
Griffin Turner - He's the substitute gym teacher at Ninjago High that everyone has a love-hate opinion of because he always, always makes everyone run a mile and doesn't let anyone get away with slacking, but he's also funny and somehow pretty chill
Karlof - Owns a popular metalworking shop and is a part-time substitute shop teacher at Ninjago High. Nya and Jay are his favorite students
Neuro - He's a defense lawyer. He's always able to call a bluff, and it never fails to frustrate the opposing counsel
Shade - She's a professional private investigator. One of the reasons that he's so good at his job is that no one can EVER spot him
Camille - She's a professional special effects makeup artist who always does the best onscreen effects
Krux - He's basically Ricky Geravis' character from Night At the Museum but a lot angrier, and also seconds away from firing his brother. Death glares at anyone on their phone
Acronix - He's a security guard at the museum who is always playing on his phone too loudly. Would have been fired several times over if his brother wasn't the curator
Bolobo - He's an environmental activist who may or may not have committed some minor crimes against major oil and energy corporations
Tox - She's a pharmacy manager who is very obviously into some shady stuff, but the rest of the staff turn a blind eye to it because she's the most knowledgeable person there
Jacob Pevsner - He owns a music studio next door to Dareth's dojo. Has banned Dareth from going anywhere near the music equipment
Ash - He's a firefighter. He's very good at his job, but nobody likes him because of his personality
#morro wu#ninjago morro#skylor chen#griffin turner#ninjago griffin turner#ninjago karlof#ninjago neuro#ninjago fanart#ninjago shade#ninjago camille#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#ninjago bolobo#ninjago tox#ninjago ash#jacob pevsner#lego ninjago movie#ninjago movie#ninjago#ninjago headcanons#feel free to add on
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sc, beauty and personality affirmations rampage (the it girl package)
I AM, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, I WILL ALWAYS BE. i am always loved. i am always chosen. i am so fuckin beautiful, mesmerizing and stunning. my orbs sparkle like celestial bodies. my nose is fucking perfection. my lips are so beautiful like they are drawn by a french artist. they look like rose petals sewn together by a bengali seamstress. my jawline can cut hearts. in a room, i am always noticed for my beauty, intelligence, wisdom, kindness and sense of humour. i am super fun. my jokes make people laugh uncontrollably lol. and when i smile, the universe pauses to take notes. people yearn to see me smile and they realize how it is the most beautiful thing on the planet. i have the most perfect singing voice and people love my voice. i love my voice so much it's so fuckin beautiful oh my. it's like a siren calling out to the sailors. everybody is obsessed with me in the healthiest way possible. everybody wants to be my friend. everybody seeks me out. men of my age day dream about marrying me and fall to my feet. they worship me like the goddess i am. i make anybody obsessed by merely deciding in the blink of an eye, instantly, yes by merely "deciding" so. people are enthralled by my words and blown away by my wit and intelligence. everybody wants to hear me talk with baited breath. everybody loves me in the best way possible. men write poems for me and send me flowers. and my body? i have the most perfect, dreamiest body shape ever. it is the literal definition of beauty. it is healthy and super sexy in every way. my body defines beauty standards. my body is a trend setter. my fashion sense is on fleek. i have the coolest clothes ever. every colour compliments me so wonderfully. every colour is lucky for me. i am already beautiful bare faced, yet my makeup skills are at a pro level as well. They can put the world's best MUAs to shame. I am so grateful for owning all the cool, it girl makeup i have ever liked. so grateful for everyone who gifted me all this makeup. my walk commands attention from everyone in the room. i have the kindest and dopest group of friends who are a whole arse vibe. i am the topper of my class. i am the smartest in the room. everybody thinks of me positively. all my teachers know me and admire me. i am every teacher's favourite student. i always make the right decisions- because i write my own destiny. i am the creator of my reality. i am a master manifestor. i manifest things instantly. i decide. my desires are mine the moment i decide. i am THAT girl. i am the girl who has it all. i am THAT bitch. i see it, i look it, i want it, i got it. everything i want, wants me 10000x more. it's already DONE. i am god's favourite child. god resides and reflects within me. i deserve all my desires- which is why i already have them. i am the person who has it ALL. i love myself so much. i am lucky to be me. everything works out in my favour- ALWAYS. universes shift and timelines rearrange themselves as soon as i decree what i want, and i have it instantly.
#loassumption#loa tumblr#manifestation#affirmations#affirm and saturate#affirm and persist#divine feminine#it girl#pinterest girl#self concept#beauty#rampage#neville goddard#sammy ingram#subliminals#subconscious#loa#affirm#how to manifest#manifesting#law of assumption#law of belief#posm#abraham hicks#loa blog#loablr#self love#self esteem#love yourself#self worth
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Chapter 2: Nothing is Easier Than I Thought
Chapter Word Count: 3,654
Anything in Bold Italics are Korean/Another language.
Master List | Prev | Next
September 2015
Why you took a 6:30 PM class your first semester, you will never understand. Some part of you said it was to cram as many classes into one day to maximize your time on other days for homework, studying, and your part time job, but your already tired brain protested. Linguistics was already a hard major to begin with, you were learning three languages; Spanish, Japanese, and Korean, but you debated Mandarin, each you knew to some capacity.
The past couple days, you have been able to feel the anxious and restless feelings of your soulmate. Whoever they were, they haven’t let you have a single day of proper sleep in the past week and with it only being the second week on campus, you were already sick of it. You had hoped your soulmate was feeling your agitation and exhaustion.
Halfway through your two hour long class, an unexpected wave of tiredness washed over you. All the energy you previously had from the energy drink earlier in the evening was wiped away in an instant. At the front of the room, the words coming from the professor were falling on deaf ears, barely able to keep your head up at this point. Your own exhaustion mixed with your soulmate’s feeling had brought you to the brink of passing out. The anxiety that once nestled beside your emotions had faded and yet a burst of joy and excitement filled its space with ease.
For a moment, you rested your head down on your notebook, scoffing quietly to yourself at the odd mix of emotions. Whatever they were going through hopefully is worth it. Although agitation still rested under your skin, a sense of amusement came from your end.
As the rest of class dragged on, you kept yourself awake and coherent enough to take notes and get back to your dorm. Bursts of energy and excitement were pushed through from the bond you shared, your limbs felt strained, on fire even, but the longer it went on the more you got used to the sensation of physical exertion. The walk back to your dorm hall was a feat, honestly you don’t know how you managed to get up three flights of stairs and unlock your door before falling face first onto your bed. Your roommate wasn’t home, she usually came back later after studying until the library closed, which gave you the peace to just take everything and hopefully let it lull you to sleep.
In your semi-conscious state, you wondered who your soulmate was. All the emotional states they had placed you in the last couple months were not what you expected, but the curiosity was eating you up some inside. When there was a feeling of genuine joy that came amidst it all had you compiling a list of exactly what type of life they lived. Were they an adventurous person that explored things outside of their comfort zone? Were they a normal person with everyday anxiety that found happiness in overcoming their fears? Did they gain the physical strain from a demanding job?
Honestly you couldn't tell what their schedule was either. They slept at random hours, and had sudden bursts of energy throughout the day. It confused you when you tried to think about the life they lead.
Slowly, your thoughts did lull you into a deep sleep knowing your alarm was already set for your afternoon shift at the bookstore on campus.
Their first comeback was highly anticipated, but literally blood, sweat, and tears were shed to make it happen. For months on end, Jihoon had been working on compositions and lyrics, some songs even created before their debut. Sleepless nights, countless fights, and inevitable injuries from overworking themselves has led to this very moment.
It was 5:30 in the morning and he couldn’t catch a wink of sleep. Now sitting in the greenroom, makeup artists, hair stylists, and one of their managers were calling out for members to get ready. The contagious yawns passed through the room ten times over, some younger members were asleep after getting ready, however Woozi wasn’t able to settle in for a short nap. His leg bounced with nervous fidgeting and he messed too much with his clothes to attempt to keep himself calm. Within the next hour the group was to have an easy run through on the stage prior to the pre-recorded video. In the later half of the day, the studio would gather fans and they would perform their newest song, Mansae .
Truthfully, he felt bad for his soulmate. The bout of insomnia he had been experiencing was no doubt putting a damper on their mood, he definitely felt the discontentment and unrest through their bond. With staying up, he noticed how their mood shifted throughout the night for him. It at least gave him the solidified idea that they were from another area of the world. Pushing that aside, it seemed they were stressed as of recent. Nearly two weeks back, there was this underlying emotion of distress that was layered beneath anticipation and determination.
Somewhere in the final rush of costumes, hair and makeup, Jihoon felt a firm pat to his back and that same arm wrapping around his shoulder as they walked down the hall to the elevators.
“ Jihoon-ah! Let’s give it our best out there! ” The loud and energetic voice of Soonyoung rang loudly in his ear, making him wince slightly.
“ I’m right next to you, why are you yelling? ” Jihoon’s nose scrunched up as he grimaced, rolling his shoulders to remove the other’s arm from his body. “ And don’t yell, you will hurt your throat. ”
Soonyoung only laughed, a wide smile spreading on his face and he continued to walk beside his shorter friend. “ Energy needs to be up, I’m nervous as hell but I can’t let that stop me. ”
With a roll of his eyes and a small shake of his head, Jihoon watched as Soonyoung walked off to throw himself over Seokmin’s back. Their practice run was simple enough, camera direction and mic checks came back positive. Stylists went around fixing any outfits, hair, or touching up spots in their make up before they were ready for the recording.
Jihoon shook out his limbs before adjusting the mic in his hand. Taking his position on stage towards the back, he let the nerves drive him once the music started playing through his in-ear headset. No matter how fast the adrenaline made his heart race, no matter the difficulty in some of the choreography, he took the stage by storm with his members. It was one of the longest three minutes of his life up until now, sweat matted parts of his pink and blond hair, his feet hurt and his limbs were already growing sore from the tired strain.
However, he felt happy, overjoyed even. As the production crew gave praise for their expressions, hard work, and perseverance, excitement bubbled in his chest at the thought of performing in front of their fans further into the day. Getting back into the greenroom was no different, words of praise came from Seungcheol, their managers and staff were proud.
What he didn’t expect in the end was the outside feeling of amusement that wedged its way from the soulmate bond with fading agitation and fatigue. His heart grew a little bigger at that moment.
2016
How could one person be so…focused? But happy about that focus.
It was a question you asked yourself on a nearly constant basis the last few months. Back in September, there was a nearly month-long period of debilitating tiredness all hours of the day pushing through the bond. It made your ability to stay awake and attentive in class hard and by the end of the day, you were crashing while barely getting through your homework and work. Now, in your second semester of college and a more spread out schedule, the breaks you gave yourself seemed to help with your soulmates physical exertion.
Spring break had brought you home to your maternal grandparents who had been begging you to come visit sooner. They had welcomed you into your childhood home, still the same old decorations that never truly passed the test of time.
“Sweetheart, go freshen up upstairs, take a nap, you’ve been working so hard and you barely stayed too long during your winter time off.” Your grandmother ushered you off towards the stairs, taking your backpack and small suitcase. “And don’t come down until you at least get an hour or sleep, you hear me!?”
A laugh bubbled out of your throat, rolling your eyes. “Yeah yeah, Mimi, just don’t start blasting your old lady music until I’m awake!” As you ascend up the stairs, you hear the huffing scoff and a muttering of your words in a mocking tone.
It was early, close to mid-morning, and you had caught the first train that brought you close to your hometown. It was quiet between watching the scenery and feeling the rumble of the train as you sat. For the first time since the semester started, you felt at peace both mentally and physically. You knew once you got back to your dorm, you’d only have a month and a half before the semester was over., You had an amazing internship lined up at an international business that handles multiple different contracts and if you did well they’d be willing to help with your education and continue on your classes regarding business.
The idea alone had put you at ease to say the least. It gave you hope for a brighter future compared to the treacherous childhood you had been through.
To say practice was brutal was an understatement. With only a month left until their new album was to be released, the member’s schedule was packed and tension was high. The lack of sleep and diets have put people on edge, new choreography needed to be hammered out, and with it being a full album, they had a lot riding on their shoulders.
“ Let’s run it from the top again.” Soonyoung called out, but five minutes after they finished their most recent run.
“ Hyung, it hasn’t even been ten minutes, we are gonna wear ourselves out before we even get going again. ” Mingyu protested, lifting his shirt to wipe the beads of sweat that descended down his face from his hairline.
Laying flat on the hard dance room floors to catch his breath, Jihoon let his eyes stay shut to regain any strength in his body. His legs felt like jello and a headache was starting to come on. Lifting his arm and cracking his eyes open, he groaned at the time on his watch: 4:49 PM. They still had over an hour to finish the rest of practice. The worst part? He knew Soonyoung would get annoyed and a fight – verbal one thankfully – would break out between some of the members, which would ruin practice.
Jihoon was even starting to grow frustrated with the recent events. He hated the fighting and he hated seeing his friends – no, his family – suffering for the reality that was being an idol. It wasn’t fair, he knew that like the back of his hand, but this was the life he did sign on the dotted line for.
“ If we get up and get it all done, maybe we can get out of here earlier, right? ” Dino spoke up, sitting beside Jeonghan and Seungkwan on the floor against the mirrors.
Seungkwan leaned his head onto the youngest’s shoulder, speaking gently to him. “ You have wishful thinking, Hoshi-hyung is brutal, you know that. ”
Still with some protests, practice went on, repeating the same dance over and over and over in mind numbing succession. By the time they had wrapped up and were ready to get home, many were close to falling asleep where they stood. The walk home was close, thankfully, yet getting inside and everyone taking showers was a feat still. No one truly had any sense of personal space or quiet with all thirteen sharing a dorm together.
Crawling into bed, Jihoon let the weight of the day slowly slip from his limbs. The tense muscles, pounding headache, and frustration that presented itself to him sometimes were overwhelming, however tonight was different.
Through the bond him and his soulmate shared, there was a creeping feeling of tranquility. It felt so…breathtaking, like fresh air was hitting his lungs for the first time. That peace was mixed with sleepiness, not the usual exhaustion that pushed through. A part of him would laugh if he wasn’t so tired, finding it comical that they were feeling completely opposite states of mind.
“ Goodnight to whoever you are, Soulmate. ”
2017
How could he describe the discomfort in his chest that was throwing him off his entire game?
This year, Jihoon and the rest of his group had done so much. While last year only brought an Asia tour, they successfully finished their first world tour. Not long after settling at home, they released their second full album, Teen, Age, where the group recently finished album promotions.
Sitting in his studio, Universe Factory he called it, Jihoon let the notes of his most recent composition soothe the discomfort that built up. Over the course of a few weeks, the bond had pushed an encroaching amount of hopelessness from his soulmate. It was eating him alive, keeping him awake when he needed the rest to recover from the year. Eating became difficult, motivation was dwindling to even get out of bed even when the feeling wasn’t his own. He was lucky that he made it to the studio tonight.
The members had been hounding him to leave his room, Mingyu specifically since they were sharing a room together in their new dorm. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had offered dinner, Soonyoung offered to go see a movie, and Joshua had suggested just going to the second dorm and watching anime. Each time, he declined, only wanting to stay in and ride through whatever depressive episode they were going through.
Looking about the room now, he sunk back into his chair, contemplating some way to counterbalance this…dejection. It wasn’t easy to fix this, though he didn’t think there wasn’t a way to fix this. You were someone unknown to him, hell he had figured out you were most likely on the other side of the world. The time on his wrist taunted him with the knowledge that both of you had a lengthy time until you were to meet.
A huff left him, raising both hands to rub them over his face to clear his head. He couldn’t even be there to provide any comfort which for one reason or another made him feel immensely guilty.
“ You look like you are going through every emotion at once.” The voice that called out had Jihoon jumping out of his skin.
Meeting the other’s eye, his shoulders deflated at the sight of his leader, holding a bag of what he assumed was takeout food in hand.
“ You know, for someone that tells the other’s to eat, sleep, and stay healthy, you are really bad at following your own advice.” Seungcheol snorted, taking a seat on the couch just behind Jihoon’s desk. He took the time to take the food containers out of the bag and set the spread out for both of them.
With unseen weight pushing down on him, Jihoon trudged his way to the couch and barely managed to miss Seungcheol as he limply sat back on the couch. “ I’m trying to but every time I try to sleep, they are awake feeling so hopeless. I go to eat and I just lose my appetite. I want to be able to help them, I do, but I can’t because destiny says we can’t meet for like 5 more years.”
Quietly, Seungcheol handed a pair of chopsticks to the younger man which were taken and with slight reluctance, Jihoon began eating.
“ Sometimes we have to accept that there is nothing you can do, you realize that, correct? ”
Jihoon hated how right he was, but he would never admit it. Well, maybe he would but not right now. Not while the irrational part of himself was still blaming himself for his soulmate's depression.
In relative silence, the two ate. Beside him, Seungcheol was keeping a watchful eye to see if the other was truly eating and was satisfied he was able to feed the other without much of a fight.
“ Think of it like this, ” Jihoon perked up, “ Channel it into your music, make something for them that makes you feel good. Maybe lifting your mood can help lift theirs?”
Wracking his brain. Seungcheol swore he saw a light bulb appear above the shorter man’s head. Jihoon stood from his spot and hurried over to his computer, nearly smashing the keyboard for the screen to light up again. As soon as he could see, he was clicking around for a file, an unfinished composition that he didn’t know what to do with. The BMP was on the higher end, high energy. He played through it once, twice, and behind him, his leader was already packing up any leftover food to bring back to the dorm at this point.
Coming up behind him, Jihoon jumped when Seungcheol’s hand landed on his shoulder.
“ I’m going to get out of your hair. Be back to the dorm before it gets too late or I’m having Soonyoung or Mingyu drag you back.”
“ Mm, Bye hyung.”
And with that, he began his work once more, a re-found feeling of inspiration and creativity. It took a few hours, much faster than some of the other times it took to refine a piece and perfect lyrics to convey what he wanted. The work flowed easily, a second natural at this point for the young producer. As he worked, Jihoon failed to notice the tiny smile that was spreading across his face.
He let his hands dance across the keyboard, hitting enter as he finally named the file; Run To You .
Pulling up his email, Jihoon sent it to his manager and a few of their album production staff, stating he needed it on the special album, no buts. It needed to be there; for himself and hopefully for his soulmate if they listened to his group.
You felt like you were sinking. The more you attempted to swim up for air, the more you were dragged down by the heavy weights around your ankles that you called life.
Back last month in November, only six or so months since you began your internship. They had offered you a full time job, willing to pay for the rest of your bachelors and fund your masters degree if you stuck with them. You made the agreement to go part time with schooling, exclusively online, 3 classes per spring and fall along with 1 per summer and winter semesters. You already did a decent amount of credits your first four semesters, so you weren’t too worried until the new fall semester hit.
Ever since August, you felt the weight start to build up and push down on you. At first, it was small. Your higher up gave you a lot of responsibility, a large role to fill – your boss said – explaining that your ability to translate and review documentation were exemplary. The fall semester brought your classes for both your majors in order to graduate on time. You were keeping up between lack of sleep and a, somewhat thankfully, eight to four job.
Sure, it wasn’t ideal, you lost time with seeing your friends on campus, but you made just enough money to find a small studio apartment and your grandparents were willing to help with whatever you needed. You were learning to take care of yourself alone, albeit with financial help. With the months passing, you were growing tired, not of your job, honestly you enjoyed the work you were doing, but college was tiring mentally and it ate up any free time you thought you were going to have. Nonetheless, you were doing okay in your classes, As and Bs, you were proud of yourself.
Though, as you sat in the silence of your apartment in the odd hours of the night due to insomnia, you felt so alone…
Your grandparents lived upstate, your friends were on campus near there, everything you knew and found comfort in from your hometown was so…far. It was getting difficult to field your grandparents calls, you were telling the truth, you were working hard, you were doing great in your classes, but you withheld the truth about your mental state.
Curled up under the covers, staring blankly at the yellowed paint of the wall opposite of the windows to your room, you couldn’t sleep. You have barely eaten recently, you know you lost some weight, and you haven’t slept properly in about a week but you were functioning somehow.
A part of you felt guilty. Guilty that you were feeling this depressed over something you would consider so trivial and guilty that your inability to regulate your mental stability that your soulmate was most likely suffering as well. Another part of you wanted to curl up in a corner and just ride it out the best you could, but you knew you had responsibilities to yourself, to your family, and to your soulmate to stay around.
Now in December, you already requested some time off around the holidays to see everyone. Deep down you were praying the time away from everything after finals would be able to help your melancholy mood.
#seventeen#seventeen x reader#svt#seventeen jihoon#woozi x reader#svt woozi#soulmate au#seventeen soulmate au#seventeen fic#svt x reader
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keypoints about Fes (Aug 3-4, 2024) in relation to Dantes/Edguda (aka notes for me after reading a hundred or so Fes tweets)
Fes Day 1
The reveal that Salieri was among the Fes costume line up was hilarious so many people were saying "Okay Jalter!! Du Haine these traitors!!" and also "Come back and enjoy the fes with us Jalter! Bill all your expenses to that stargazing yukata ojisan over there!"
This was truly Avenger class summer (marie alter was also included)
Light reading was absolutely phenomenal - the lines delivered by sakamoto maaya and nobunaga shimazaki in Expo Live were amazing in Id chapter portion!!!!!!
[link of me crying about it] [second link] [third link] [fourth about his tears]
Official ID chapter MAD was insane it 1000% showed that the song was truly the feelings of the Avenger class from the bottom of their heart especially with dantes at the last few lines / the "noise" part too was freaking Salieri's i knew it!!!!!!
Paradis Chateau d'If was said to be insanely sweetly flavor that was strong. The grape is seems to be more jam than jelly. The bottom part was said to be peach syrup itself (but also mixed with some grape). The silver pearls sprinkles are called silver dragees that make it really fancy! It was also really thick that even when the ice melts, it won't thin out or get diluted at all.
Merch of Dantes is always sold out within the hour of both days
Oyo has a new wet monte cristo art
Chaldea (sweet papa) Kitchen Voice - "Owner...? Manager...? No! No, I am neither! I am but the patron. I am the ruler of shadows with an oriental-taste who have contributed in creating this tavern with ample (financial) resources. So enjoy yourself to the fullest! I am sure there is something here that will suit your tastes... No, there certainly is. Ahh, and one more thing, be careful of the heat. Even if you are not hungry, don't be afraid to rest and cool off."
Eye mirror quetionnaire top 3 - tenochtitlan, tonelico, and Monte Cristo
Side note: binaural Live2D Goredolf was cute!! Voiced goff!!!
Royst on day 1 flag with a new work
Tsuzumuda sensei with their message flag released!! thank you for the weapon design!
Fes Day 2
9th Anniversary live with Punchline Cosplay Ojisan!
He has the omamoris, maneki neko design!!! his notebook and feather pen prop!!!!! the cross designs on the glasses, the corset!!!! the gloves!!! the 14 stones!!!!! his cape also has the sea bream pattern!!!!!! the ponytail for Monte Cristo having also purple ends of his wig!!!... his stylists and makeup artists are so cool!!! the bestt aaa
Nobu complimenting Toyonaga Oberon!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!
He also complains being picked by his team mates for who looks like they're a good teacher he's embarassed wwww
"Who is the Servant who is most likely to have the most fun at FGO Fes?" Answer: Castoria Ishtar Mash
When revealing the answer he confidently explains that edmond is having the most fun considering his chaldea kitchen voice!!
After revealing the true answer, he RIGHTFULLY!!! complains to the audience that he's the type to go all out for Master!!!! It was amazing!!!
はしゃいでるマスターを見て一番はしゃいでるのはアイツ😭
I'll make a more detailed post about this... no let's turn it into a fic
Introduction of favorability gauge from space ere-chan brought out tweets of "monte cristo's favorability is MAX from the start so let's keep stacking~" from a lot of jp users www
Usagi Routo new illustrations are about PapaFesmon about guda's future and trying and failing to deny guda's offer of food as well as nobu's day 1 performance and day2 cosplay.. the best.
Flames of Applause Ce [cries and dies]
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Tips and classes for Drawing and painting!
Hi!
The other day I saw a comment on Tumblr from someone who was just starting out in drawing and was using AI to help study their drawings. I decided to put together some resources that I know can help artists study and use as a reference without feeding this algorithm that is being so harmful to so many people in the artistic field.
Feel free to add more in the comments and reblogs!!!
Note: Some YouTube channels and profiles mentioned here I don't follow for so long or/and I didn't have time to analyze the content posted in full, but they were recommended by other people. Some channels/profiles are on these lists because of these recommendations or because they were useful with a post/video/tutorial at some point in my life. If there is any controversial/questionable conduct, I make it clear that I didn't know before posting! (We never know, right? hehehe)
LET'S GO:
1. You and your environment:
That's right, YOU. Your person and what you have available at home can be great references! Photos of family or friends, your pet, everyday objects that you barely pay attention to, the landscape around your house (even if it is not considered the most beautiful landscape or if it is just a wall), your food, the forgotten plant in the pot, your shoes, your clothes, your own body! They are physical objects, in YOUR hand, where you can rotate, position, arrange as you wish, and as a bonus you can do light studies on them with your cell phone's flashlight or natural daylight.
2. Follow your favorite artists and styles you like:
By following profiles of artists you like on social media, you can study their drawings, to understand how they do what they do, and, little by little, develop your art with your personality based on the styles you like!
Just be careful not to plagiarize! There's a difference in taking art from your artists to study, and keeping it for yourself and posting copies of other people's art or copying someone else's design! Study, understand and end up developing yours! DO NOT base your studies purely on the arts of others, but complement with them!
3. Follow photographers:
Photographer profiles are a treasure for anyone who likes to draw! There are photographers who capture images of people, animals, plants, landscapes, cities, etc. There are several categories! And different styles! Black and white, evidence in the shadows, play of colors and perspectives! It can be a fun exercise!
4. Follow model profiles:
Templates also provide good references. Today there is great variability in model profiles (if you know how to look well), and it can be a good exercise to design clothes and accessories on people! Study of fabric, movement, makeup and pigments in skin, hair, pose, among others
5. Media:
You can pause and take a screenshot of scenes you like from series, films, documentaries, cartoons, anime, or even take a panel from your favorite comic and draw it in your style, or study that image and try to copy it before applying in your style!
6. Pinterest:
The classic of classics! Great for references, using PHOTOS, of REAL people, animals, objects and landscapes. In addition, there are also several posts with drawing and painting tips, and even several mechanisms about various objects and elements, which can allow you to better understand the dynamics of what makes up your drawing, making your drawing, design and painting easier! There are even ready-made folders shared by other artists with several images, but you can make your own, in your own way! Mine have more than 60.000 pins!
7. Tumblr’s focused on tips for drawing and painting:
There are several names that we can mention and it is very easy to find these Tumblrs!
8. Follow artists here on tumblr:
These artists often share tips, techniques and brushes!
9. YouTube channels focused on drawing and painting:
There are several channels focused on art, tutorials, classes and drawing tips!
Some are: New Masters Academy; FZDSCHOOL; Proko; Alphonso Dunn; SamDoesArts; Marc Brunet; HABOOK; Brad's Art School; KeshArt; 조맹 Chommang_Drawing; NIRO; Sinix Design; Mmmmonexx; Draw like a Sir; fjordwind; Angel Ganev; Desenho Mestre; Pikat; One Pencil drawing; Bluebiscuits; SulaMoon; Uncomfortable; Bob Ross; Kevin Oil Painting; Fine Art Academy; Sycra; Moderndayjames; Kaycem; Tim Mcburnie - The Drawing Codex; Swatches; Ahmed Aldoori; Jordan Grimmer; Justin Donaldson
10. DAZ Studio:
It is a free program that allows you to model characters. You can customize and position the avatars however you see fit. You can even work with light incidence. You can also set up scenarios.
The free program already comes with some basic elements and on the website you can download more elements to compose your scene, such as other avatars, animals, objects, clothes, textures, among many others. However, it should be noted that some of these elements are paid. But the free basic elements already help A LOT in reference position, proportion, anatomy, scenery and study of light and shadow
11. Sketchfab:
It is a website that has several 3D elements generated by other artists. It has a free basic plan, with certain limitations, but it helps a lot when photos and other drawings are not enough for the pose you want!
12. PixelSquid:
It offers 3D models that can be useful for reference.
13. Floorplanner:
Allows you to create 2D and 3D house plans with a free account. This can help you with references to compose the scenario!
14.Dimensions:
It allows the notion of the dimension of different objects and figures.
15. Comparing Heights:
Website that allows you to compare heights between two figures
16. SculptGL:
Free basic 3D sculpting tool
17.Textures.com:
It has 3D molds and textures. There are free options in its gallery
18. Justsketch.me:
It has a free version with basic human models to create positions for reference. They are somewhat reminiscent of the articulated dolls used in the past.
19. Reference Angle:
Offers photographs of people that match the position of a 3D mold. You can select facial expressions
20. Photo reference X 3D model:
It gives you some 3D molds of human and animal skeletons and correlates the position you leave with photos
21.Bodies in motion:
Provides several stop motions of people moving. There is free and paid content
22. Sketchdaily:
A website that offers several reference photos for drawing, with different poses. You can select whether you want photos of structures, vegetation, animals, body parts, people and other specifications. One cool thing about this website is that you can choose to set a timer for the image, allowing you to leave it exposed for you to draw for 30 seconds to 1 hour (or not, you can choose to leave it without a timer).
23. Line-of-action:
It has an interface that is very similar to Sketchdaily, but the maximum time for displaying an image is 10 minutes. It has the categories of human figures, animals, hands & feet, faces & expressions and scenes & environment and basic shapes & still life.
24. Reference.pictures:
Site with several posed photos. However, there is paid content.
25. Croquis.cafe:
Various reference photos of people. Paid content
26. Pose tool:
Selection of multiple reference images that can be selected according to a filter
27. Clip Studio Tips:
Various digital drawing tips provided by the clip studio website itself
28. CecelyV:
Blog created by Cecely Valderrama (CecelyV) where she provides free tutorials
29. Drawawesome:
It has free content for artists
30.Will Kemp Art School:
A blog with free painting and drawing lessons
31. Blog Art Instruction:
Offers free art instruction. Created in 2007 by Ralph Serpe.
32. Draw Mix Paint:
Offers a series of tips, classes, videos and content focused on painting and drawing for free
33.The Dimensions of Colour:
Material created by David Briggs for coloring
34.Guide To Drawing:
A guide from Bill Martin
35.Artyfactory:
Offers some tutorials for free
36.Art Lessons Online:
This website has some free content
37. Ctrl+paint:
Offers a range of free and paid content
38. Drawspace:
It has free and paid drawing and painting courses
39. Paid classes:
Domestika
Sketchbook skool
Proko
Teacups
The Virtual Instructor
40. Color Palette Cinema:
Instagram account that creates and publishes palettes based on scenes from movies and series
41. Canvas color palettes:
Create color palettes from an image upload
I can do a drive collecting books for drawings too, but that's for another post or for someone's reblog hehe
#art#tips#art tips#drawing tips#drawing resources#digital art#artists on tumblr#anti ai#anti ai art#painting#clip studio art#canvas
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master list! . . .
no mark - fluff, ★ - angst, ✧ - smau, ☆ - MTL, *- series
↘ goo gunil
sorry to wake you
untitled drabble #1
somebody else
untitled drabble #2
boyfriend headcannons *
untitled drabble #3
leave him alone
what’s the occasion? ★
untitled drabble #4
who’s he? ★
stressed
↘ kim jungsu
to the rescue
picture perfect
untitled drabble #1
boyfriend headcannons *
untitled drabble #2
different time zones (pt. 2) ★
down the hall
↘ kwak jiseok
lazy mornings
care for you
guitar lessons
untitled drabble #1
boyfriend headcannons *
untitled drabble #2
try hard ★
dirty little secret ★
dirty little secret (pt. 2)
↘ oh seungmin
the night is young
untitled drabble #1
fashion show
untitled drabble #2
boyfriend headcannons *
untitled drabble #3
palm of your hand
↘ han hyeongjun
bassist serenade
secret romance
untitled drabble #1
makeup artist
please stay
real to me ★
the party ★
trace the line
backstage banter
the real you
boyfriend headcannons *
lesson failed successfully
rock with you
intimate insecurity
soft
untitled drabble #2
constant crush (pt.2)
crush (pt. 1)
↘ lee jooyeon
love me not
too hot
untitled drabble #1
untitled drabble #2
boyfriend headcannons *
↘ ot6
falling asleep with xdinary heroes
xdinary heroes and their names for you
strong, brown s/o - g.g, h.hj
first date with xdinary heroes
young idol - g.g, h.hj
young idol (pt. 2) - remaining members
how xdinary heroes shows affection
reacting to xdinary heroes’ new content ✧ - hyungs, maknaes
coming out to xdinary heroes
movie nights with xdinary heroes
xdianry heroes and the little things
laid back s/o - g.g, h.hj
xdinary heroes and the texts you wake up to
shy, instrumentalist s/o
insecure s/o with glasses
xdinary heroes with a bubbly s/o
meet-cute with xdinary heroes
xdinary heroes and their love languages
s/o with a heavy workload
different time zones ✧
xdinary heroes as big time rush songs
situationships with xdinary heroes ★
xdinary heroes starting your relationship
first sleepover with xdinary heroes
xdinary heroes when you go quiet
xdinary heroes when you get teased in class
xdinary heroes on valentines day
xdinary heroes when you bring a stray cat home
xdinary heroes with a doe-eyed s/o
xdinary heroes listening to you ramble ☆
xdinary heroes forgetting your first anniversary ★
night of fireworks masterlist *
xdinary heroes when others compliment you
xdinary heroes as types of christmas gifts
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Any tips for how beginner artists should effectively study art?
Hi! Hello! Thanks for asking!
I can only speak from my own experience. I went to college for art, but I had a pretty firm foundation that I started with before I got there. I think a lot of artists will say the same things in general, and sometimes it's hard to hear.
Step One: Discover what you want to draw. People? Animals? Nature? All of it? Okay! Draw what you want to draw. I've always liked drawing people, and I started with anime and video games. While drawing from your head is fun, you aren't necessarily going to grow if that's all you do. So find a picture you want to draw and draw it.
Here's an example from my Deviantart posted in 2007 (I think I would have been 12?)
When you have a picture to look at, you can start to break down an object to it's simple lines instead of the symbols we associate with in our heads. Often when we think of an eye, we have a symbol for it. Often a football shape with a circle and lines for eyelashes. But when we can look at a picture, we can erase that symbol from our heads and look at the actual shape. The head isn't a circle, the nose isn't an 'L'.
Step Two: Practice. This is the part that makes everyone groan. "Why do I have to draw badly over and over when I know you're gatekeeping the secret to getting good?" This is the secret! Practicing is what trains your body into learning what works best. How hard do you press? How do you hold your utensil? Even how do I draw a line? With more practice, you refine your technique in a way that reading can't do.
There's an old story of a pottery teacher that divided his class in half. One half could only make one pot for the final. The other half had to make 100 pots before their final. The 'one pot' side spent hours researching techniques and watching the masters, while the '100 pot' side just cranked out pot after pot after pot. They were garbage, they looked like Dr. Seuss. They made no sense. And they didn't have the time to study like the other half. When finals came around, 'one pot' side did their best, but their creations didn't look nearly as good at '100' pot students even at the 50 pot mark. It's all about time and practice.
When I started, I had a sketchbook and I would draw two things a day. Granted, that's a lot and not practical as an adult with a full time job, but just do what you can. And!! Work with what you can. You don't have to buy a set of artistic pencils. A #2 or mechanical pencil is fine.
Step Three: Experiment. Now this is the place you can buy that pencil set, or the watercolor pallet, or what's best, take a class! I've worked with all mediums, and found my favorites. I was just hungry to experiment and see what I could work with. There was a point in time where I was smearing everything on a canvas; makeup, glow sticks, glue, using needle and thread with paint, heck I even used wine and cigarettes (doesn't work). But once you test these materials out, you can see how they work differently and find what you like. But I recommend starting with sketching because it's the most portable and accessible. You have to start with the basics somewhere.
Step Four: Refine. You've learned how to draw your favorite anime character. You've learned how to study an image and break it down into basic shapes. You've learned how to hold your utensil to add variation to your line weight. Now you're going to look at what goes underneath a subject so that you can build it in your head. This is where studying anatomy comes in! Learn the bones and muscles, especially the ones that the skin clings to and effects the shape of.
"But what if I don't want to draw realistic people?"
That's fine too! But knowing proper anatomy can really separate mediocre cartoons to professional. If you know what to simplify or exaggerate, the audience will accept it. Learning anatomy will also help with shading.
I hope this was helpful. Honestly, it's hard to give a short answer, so I can elaborate on anything you want. I didn't finish my art education minor, but I can give a few lessons.
If you want to buy one (1) book as a resource, I would check out 'Drawing with the Right Side of the Brain'. It's where a lot of the info in step one comes from and honestly will supercharge your studying.
Thanks for asking!
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From Curiosity to Craft: How i learned to do Nail Extensions at Home.💅
Mastering nail extensions at home has been one of the most fulfilling and transformative experiences in my beauty journey. It all began when I enrolled in a cosmetology course in my hometown. My focus was on makeup, hair, and skincare, but I often observed other students practicing nail extensions. One day, they asked me to be their model. They only applied extensions on one hand, but that was all it took to spark my interest – I loved how polished and sophisticated my nails looked, and I knew I wanted to learn this art myself.
However, the cost of professional nail extension classes was beyond my budget. Determined to learn anyway, I turned to online resources and discovered a wealth of information. YouTube quickly became my primary teacher, offering tutorials from skilled nail artists. Pinterest provided endless inspiration, while Instagram Reels showcased creative tips and trending designs. Although TikTok was not available in India, these platforms offered me all I needed to start learning the basics of nail extensions and nail art.
Starting with Nail Art Basics I began by focusing on nail art as my starting point. Not only did it require minimal materials, but it was also a great way to develop steady hands, creativity, and an eye for detail. From color combinations to pattern designs, nail art helped me practice brush control and become familiar with nail anatomy. I enjoyed experimenting with small designs, which provided the perfect foundation before moving on to more advanced techniques.
Investing in Extension Supplies After saving up for a while, I finally purchased a beginner’s nail extension kit, which included nail tips, gel polish, acrylic powder, and other essential tools. I started with stick-on and press-on nails, practicing the process of application, shaping, and finishing. Each attempt taught me more about the importance of precision and patience, as even the smallest adjustments could make a huge difference. Practicing these steps gave me confidence and helped me build a steady foundation before I moved on to more complex nail extensions.
Advanced Training: Seeking Professional Guidance While online resources were excellent, I realized that certain advanced techniques—like acrylic overlays, gel extensions, and sculpting—were difficult to perfect without hands-on guidance. To improve, I reached out to a family member who had professional experience in nail artistry. Although she lived far away, I arranged a weekend visit and spent three days under her instruction. During this time, she taught me key techniques like sculpting, creating durable extensions, and layering for strength and style. This experience was a game-changer, as it allowed me to correct mistakes I didn’t even realize I was making and enhanced my skill level tremendously.
Perfecting the Craft After returning home, I practiced diligently, dedicating time each week to improve. I started creating full sets, experimenting with techniques like ombré fades, encapsulated glitter, and 3D accents. I joined online communities, where fellow nail enthusiasts shared tips, and found that feedback from other learners greatly boosted my confidence and skill. Gradually, my creations became more polished, and I could see the difference my persistence made with each set.
Final Thoughts Learning nail extensions at home has not only been a creative outlet but also a testament to the power of self-directed learning. What started as a curiosity has become a rewarding skill that brings beauty and joy to others. If you’re passionate about nail artistry, remember that with dedication, patience, and the right resources, you can achieve stunning results without stepping into a professional classroom. Whether it’s a new design or perfecting a technique, the journey is as enjoyable as the destination.
Some sets i did when i started learning.😁



Then i got a little better. 🤭




And this the latest set i did for my cousin on her birthday.💟

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How Do I Become a Makeup Artist After 10th?
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Happy WBW!
(I'm trying to be good and take a break from Tumblr to focus on academic goals, but I see no harm in hopping on here to ask a question!)
How do people display their class or wealth? What things are considered "fancy?"
You take that break and go an academic weapon!
On Illaros, you get your usual display of fancy clothes and a big house. In Janazi culture, at least, if you're wealthy, you are favored by the gods, so not displaying your wealth would be tantamount to refusing a divine gift. Janazi mansions are works of art, painted in many colors and built in wild styles. And, of course, you aren't rich if you don't have a ship to sail on. Additionally, makeup is a sign of wealth. Rich humans of all gender wear makeup, often in bold styles. Another Janazi oddity, at least compared to the rest of the world, is that wealth is more important than pedigree. In both elven nations, your lineage matters much more than how much money you have.
In Nabafyr, flashiness isn't so coveted. Instead, the wealthy are those with the finest weapons and the best martial lineages. If you're rich, you can afford to train under one of the great fighting masters and are permitted to wear their mark. This is why, while it is legal for any peasant to challenge a lord to a duel, it isn't advised because that lord probably knows six ways to kill you with his thumb alone after training with some guy who's seen every war in the last seven hundred years.
In Skysheer, their main marker of wealth is a much more physical one. Poor elves of the frigid nation can't afford firewood or heating runes, and so they often lose the tips of their ears to frostbite. It difficult for them to move up in rank after that, because no matter how high they climb, everyone will know the slums they came from. The wealthy also like to play patron. Skysheerian elites will attend balls surrounded by their private artists, skilled chefs, and cutting-edge tailors in an effort to show off their discerning eye for talent and deep pockets. Wealth might not matter as much as a good bloodline in Skysheer, but it definitely still matters some.
Thanks for the ask!
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