#masculinitySoFragile

[runthepockets]

It's really fascinating watching toxic masculinity / gender roles get recreated and normalized in trans spaces cus I don't even think a lot of people realize they're doing it.

Like, it's pretty understandable to most people, on some level, why doing yardwork and a lot of heavy lifting would make a trans woman dysphoric, but the same grace is very rarely extended to trans men who have dysphoria around doing housework and washing up regularly, as if both of these dysphoria triggers are not very blatantly from the same place [that is: growing up in a patriarchal society, where "yardwork and heavy lifting is for men and housework is for women" is a mantra that most families ingrain in their children from an early age]. Not saying this as if trans women have some sort of unique forcefield of safety and privilege or whatever, but I see cis people doing the same shit in their circles; if a product comes in pink packaging with flowers and "for women" in a fancy purple font, it's (rightly) seen as shallow work of marketing executives who prey on women's insecurities in order to wring more money out of them, but when a product comes in blue packaging with utilitarian aesthetics and "for men" in hardened steel font, it's seen as #masculinitysofragile, even though it's also the work of shallow marketing executives who prey on men's insecurities and want to wring money out of them, too. Idk just something I've noticed. Pretty frustrating but also kinda hilarious.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Remember #masculinitySoFragile? When people mocked men because male gendered products exist, whether or not they were actually popular with men? Funny how products for women are an issue of sexism against women, but products for men are apparently an issue of sexism from men.

oops I went on a rant

[siryouarebeingmocked]

...said the person trying to attach someone’s worth as a man to whether they own an item or not, and using appropriated “Patriarchal” sexism to shame men for supposedly being insecure.

Oh, and ignoring women who are also gun enthusiasts.

[f-prometheus]

This year I was asked to do the front cover page for my school's magazine. The magazine focused, among other things, on the general problem of stereotypes. Therefore I had to paint something in accordance to that and I thought what better way to show a breaking of stereotype than with Ermal Meta's real-life NON-TOXIC MASCULINITY. Honestly this man is truly an inspiration to so many, the way he just accepts who he is without condition and does the same for other people. I love him so much and I hope you like the way I chose to honor him. :)

[faggotry-enjoyer]

Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt “for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers.

This conclusion—widely shared—is a product of insulated discourse. What I am NOT saying is: “open the floodgates, let in the shitty male trolls!” I know the trolls—they have tried to be my friends, they have tried to sneak into feminist spaces with no desire to learn or listen. I understand not trusting men who loudly and constantly hold forth on women’s issues and refuse to accept when they are mistaken. I’m not encouraging anyone to trust blindly. I am pleading to the discoursers: consider that this insulation has effects and try to mitigate them, if your priority really is finding truth amid a muck of concealed patriarchal lies. Check to see if maybe you are saying things and reproducing things mostly because it sounds good and feels good and nobody is challenging them.

I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

THIS TUMBLR POST IS FOR MEN ONLY. FEMALES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THESE PRODUCTS OR EAT MAN SOUP.

[guante]

The first episode of #WhatsGoodMan is available now! Listen via apple podcasts, spotify, or whatever. Here’s an audio link AND the full transcript.

[tambrius]

[evilsoup]

pretty sure you're thinking of this bit from I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt “for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers.

[crazyadorable-blog1]

Freddie Mercury is rolling in his grave

[ikirby79]

Cozy winter evening 🌙 with my little man. #realmendopilates #realmenpray #gentlemansstyle #realmenrealstyle #realmendorealthings #realmenstandup #gentlemanshoes #gentlemanscode #realmenweartights #gentlemanlook #realmendontbuygirls #masculinitysofragile #realmenlovejesus #realmencancook #realmenstillexist #realmendontrape #realmenknit #masculinityisnottoxic #manupmonday #manhoodacademy #masculinitywithresponsibility #manhoodstones #manhoodrestored #masculinitymastered #masculinityisaprison #manhoodacademywest #manhoodawarenessmonth #masculinityevolved #manhoodtips #masculinityhasnoboundaries (at Leavenworth, Kansas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CW94I3ksJ_c/?utm_medium=tumblr

[genderkoolaid]

The Article About Internalized Transmisogny literally ends by making a point about manhood and masculinity and misandry in queer/feminist spaces:

I hate that the only effective response I can give to “boys are shit” is “well I’m not a boy.” I feel like I am selling out the boy in baseball pajamas that sat with me on the bed while I tried to figure out which one I was supposed to be, and the boys who I have met and loved from inside my boy suit—who believed they were talking to a boy. I feel like I am burning the history of the naked body that sits on the floor of my shower. The body that went to prom in a boxy tuxedo and coveted the dresses.

Because I am not a boy, but I had a boyhood. I was, and am, made to live as a boy and I cannot suspend the perspective that gave me and join in when it’s time to fluster one of those clueless fuckers into anger by calling him a fuckboi and then tell him his anger proves he’s a fuckboi, or to humiliate one with an OKCupid screenshot because we’ve willfully conflated the clumsy ones with the threatening ones so we can grab those solidarity faves. It’s fucked up. It has metastasized.

More than a few out transwomen have told me, privately, they they are uncomfortable with these things, but are afraid that speaking up about it would cause ciswomen to like and trust them less. “I play along,” one of them told me, “because in the queer community the only people who defend cisboys are cisboys. I don’t want to give up finally being read as a girl.”

Another says “I do the misandry stuff because it’s an easy way to earn queer cred points, but when I think about it it makes me uncomfortable.”

Another: “It’s a coping habit I’m not proud of. If I agree ‘girls rule boys drool’ it makes me feel more like a girl.”

Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt “for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers.

This conclusion—widely shared—is a product of insulated discourse. What I am NOT saying is: “open the floodgates, let in the shitty male trolls!” I know the trolls—they have tried to be my friends, they have tried to sneak into feminist spaces with no desire to learn or listen. I understand not trusting men who loudly and constantly hold forth on women’s issues and refuse to accept when they are mistaken. I’m not encouraging anyone to trust blindly. I am pleading to the discoursers: consider that this insulation has effects and try to mitigate them, if your priority really is finding truth amid a muck of concealed patriarchal lies. Check to see if maybe you are saying things and reproducing things mostly because it sounds good and feels good and nobody is challenging them.

These are not discursive problems that only apply to an “undercover” transwoman, these are discursive problems that are seemingly only visible to an “undercover” transwoman forced to carry multiple perspectives like bactrian humps.

Because I am interested in complicating your definition of maleness and of boyhood. I was born into that shitty town, maleness, in the remains of outdated ideals and misplaced machismo and repression and there are some good people stuck living there. They are not in charge. They did not build it. And I don’t feel okay just moving out and saying “fuck y’all — bootstrap your way out or die out, I was never one of you.” I want to make it a better, healthier place—not spend all my time talking about how shitty it is and how anyone who would choose to live there deserves it. And to me that means considering them with charity, even when they make it difficult to. [...] Because it’s not a small deal that the words “not all men” have become entwined inextricably with male fragility and whininess. It makes it awfully easy to insulate the (largely cis-)female perspective on what males are. To begin a statement with those words—“Not All Men”—is to give grounds to anyone who wants to laugh at the rest of it. But here is the truth: not all men are what you think they are. Man does not mean what you think it means. Generalizing harshly and broadly but implying “you know which ones I mean” is an intellectual and rhetorical laziness that is not allowed to pass anywhere else in these communities. Because we don’t get to choose who our words and behavior affect, we are obligated to choose them carefully.

was thinking abt the difference in how (some) people view women's products as "things companies are trying to sell to women" while men's products are "things men want as consumers" and like. men's desires are constructed by the patriarchy. this is the problem w engaging w the concept of the patriarchy as like, the culmination of every single individual man's active desires instead of a system inherently intertwined with other systems of power. like men are constructed manhood is sold to you! if you think that everything the patriarchy says about women is a lie but you take it at it's word on The Ways Men Naturally Are. I simply need you to rethink things

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Makeup for men:[exists] Tumblrina: This is fragile masculinity, somehow.

But you take an identical product, make it brightly colored with patterns women like, and shaped more to appeal to the eye than the hand, it’s business as usual?

If not dubbed sexist against women. So a product catering to men is a sign of sexism and/or "fragile masculinity" in men, but a product aimed at women is sexism against women. (Unless it's something "feminist", like Birds of Prey or Captain Marvel.)

There’s plenty of makeup products for women that come in black. Black is a neutral, low-key color that works with almost everything. They’re “about making men feel comfortable to shout about wearing makeup.”, so it’s better not to be high-key about it, at least at first.

And that’s assuming this is even about catering to men’s ‘insecurities’, instead of just catering to men

Also, these folks are donating part of their proceeds to a mental health foundation. And men struggle a lot with mental health.

Also, those aren’t even the actual products, those are painted blanks to make a cool shot in the publicity photo. The actual products say what they are, and the brush head is the same color as any other brush.

Anyway, OP deleted the post - after blocking onemv*, and has me pre-blocked, of course. The citadelOfMyThoughts doesn’t seem very secure. Maybe because it’s so empty.

[toplesstopics]

TIL there are dudes intensely involved in and immediately triggered by a nonspecific call to stop using "balls" as a euphemism for courage. #MasculinitySoFragile #byefelipe

[runthepockets]

If a grown man wants to put metal testicles on his truck that's really none of my business. I think it's fucking hilarious and not worth 200 #masculinitysofragile thesises.

My hottest take as a trans dude is that I don't really care to hyperanalyze and scrutinize other people's genders even if they're edgy cis guys. We evolved from apes yes we are going to see the appeal of sexual hedonism and mindless carnage all of those things are awesome who cares stop thinking so hard.

[sofetchxylocarp]

One time I asked my ex if his bed was a queen size and he got offended because, he, a man, could not sleep in a bed named for women. This 6' 2", 200+ lb man, was much prouder to be sleeping in his smaller, full size bed because....masculinity.

[lizzhasanopinion-blog]

Lizz sees Isle of Dogs

On Isle of Dogs:

The visuals. Wow. Holy shit this film was well directed. Kept my eyeballs captivated in every moment. AND THE SOUNDTRACK?!?!?! Fire. Those two aspects of the film were beyond admirable.

Other than that, this movie is complete trash and it makes me want to burn everything to the ground. Of the 49 voice actors employed for this project, only 9 of them were women. And all of the female characters were there to serve as romantic counterparts to the male characters. There is literally a scene in the end where we see a montage of all the male heroes having a possessive moment with their female prizes. It's fucking disgusting.

On another way less serious but still annoying note, why do all dog people feel the need to express their love for dogs by showing how much they hate cats? I identify as a cat person. And I, much like most cat people I've ever met, also like dogs. If I go outside and play with your dog, I'm not going to feel threatened if you mistake me for a dog person. I feel completely secure in my identity as a cat-lover and feel no need to feign a hatred for dogs just to prove it to you. It's okay to love one thing and still respect the other. Why is your dog enthusiasm so fragile?