#mary who was closest to shannon

[daisychainsandbowties]

what is it about that season one shoulder pat you love so much??

i have a bit of a fascination with what i call character thesis moments. they’re… these sort of pivotal, revealing scenes or even just (as in this case) a gesture that makes me fall head-over-heels for a character. and also understand them.

with ava, it was the beach run scene. for lilith, the grey hoodie scene where she asks ava “can you forgive me?” for mary it was the first scene, cradling shannon’s head and shutting her eyes and the love in every inch of every gesture. (that’s the first sign i think that warrior nun is a story about love, and survival, and in not surviving but loving anyway).

now, i’ll admit that i adored beatrice from “i thought she’d be a handful” and “faith is my business” but frankly… neither of those scenes show us who she is. i think the closest we get to HER is at the bus stop, where you watch her choose her friends over her duty, choose love over sacrifice (for the first, but not the last time).

and then… god, that shoulder slap. i can’t explain how it made me feel.

up until that point, beatrice is such a whirlwind of a character. she’s lethal, she faces down a gun with frightening disregard for her own life. she drops a tear onto shannon’s cheek as she gasps out a very rehearsed goodbye. she catches ava when she slips out of that wall, she cries over an old journal and in all that time she’s fighting so hard to remain unseen.

and then, in one gesture, she reveals who she is. if you look closely, you see how fiercely beatrice fights to hold herself, but especially her hands, in check. they are either weapons or they’re things she lets out with the greatest care. they are caring but also tentative, like moths desperately trying not to touch the flame.

if you look carefully you also see that beatrice can’t help but touch ava. she tries and tries, but then they’re in the vatican and she’s suddenly this young, smiling creature trading puns, rushing through a cloud of dust to pry ava from the wreckage of her faith, from the arms of an angel. i just think, when i saw that shoulder slap i realised how much there was to beatrice.

she’s this… ball of contradictions. she’s a nun, she came up with Cruella de Jesus. she’s faithful, she’s queer, she’s resigned to the death of everyone she loves. she’s a weapon, and yet… you look at her doing that slightly goofy shoulder slap and it betrays a sense of ‘i want to touch you and i don’t know what to do about it.’ and in that you realise that she’s everything you thought and she’s also… mischievous? slightly boyish? a fool who is already more than half in love.

i remember feeling so fond of her, so suddenly, because out of the clear blue you realise that she’s drawn to this, to this girl who told her not to hate what she is, not to hate what she craves which is touch… a certain something she doesn’t dare to name, but still she reaches out and THAT is beatrice to me.

she’s a pair of empty hands, a bottle of lightning, and for all her confidence, for all that she is undeniably so cool and calm under pressure, so absolutely lethal; she’s also young, and she doesn’t know what to do about what she feels. it terrifies her, fascinates her, makes her hands move almost of their own accord.

there is ava, who is the point around which she is supposed to rally. halobearer, holy, doomed. that little pat in the shoulder… when i take it from ava’s perspective i’m in awe, because they don’t quite understand each other yet. it’s a candleflame to the incandescence of their kiss but it’s the first time bea reaches out not to catch her, or capture her, or carry her, but simply to touch.

it’s a very blunt and beautiful reassurance and that’s what they are to each other; they’re comfort, safety, acceptance. and that throwaway moment to me is the thesis of bea’s character arc. it’s the choosing to touch, to reach out, to hold onto what she loves.

and for ava it’s sacred too. how many times in her life do you imagine she’s been touched the way beatrice touches her? the way she balances ava’s jaw in her hands when she falls from the wall, smiling at her like she’s a miracle. beatrice who is the voice in the dark and the cold, who tears down a wall to reach her because she promised and she kept it. touch is everything to ava, and i think there’s just something so special about that moment; beatrice just saying, wordlessly, ‘you’re good, you’re here, i’ve got your back.’ it’s not condescending it’s a gesture that i think demonstrates to ava that she’s not alone anymore, and it kindles the hope that she never will be again.

[thistleation]

ALSO.

I think it’s easy to underestimate the enormity of Beatrice’s decision to try and place the crown on Ava.

It happens in a flash, it’s followed by The Kiss (which is everything). I think some viewers might even have missed she was holding the crown at all.

And so much happens and events spiral so quickly, it’s easy to forget where in the story Beatrice stands at this point.

Beatrice does not know the specifics of Adriel’s plan. At this point in the story, the OCS’ best guess is Adriel will use the portal to bring through unlimited wraith demons. 

That’s the stakes for them: complete the mission or face a full on demon apocalypse. It’s literally “do this or the world ends.”

And Beatrice has lost so much. She’s lost Shannon just months ago, she’s lost Mary, Vincent betrayed them, to all appearances they’ve lost Lilith to Adriel for good. More of her closest family have died or abandoned her than not.

What more could the universe take from her?

And then the universe points at Ava and says “that one.”

You know those few months you got to spend away from the thick of battle? The short breath of time where you tasted life? Where you fell in love? Where you let yourself believe that — just maybe — happiness was possible? I want that. I want the person at the center of that, I want the one who gave you that.

Beatrice says no.

Putting the crown on Ava is not a discussion. It’s not a reassessment of the plan. It’s putting her unconscious to get her out. It’s aborting the mission.

The mission to save the world, where failure means wraith demons everywhere and most likely a literal apocalypse, and Beatrice says “No.”

Not if the cost is her.

Because how just is a world that keeps demanding this kind of suffering and sacrifice? There has to be another way for the world, because if there isn’t, she will not save it.

Not at this cost.

[wordsmith30]

A parallel I haven’t seen much talk about: how Lilith goes on the warpath for Mary the same way Mary went on the warpath for Shannon (and how they both fall into Vincent’s trap).

Season one Lilith was all about the OCS (or rather her ambition for the Halo). She told Mary not a day after Shannon’s murder that she needed to think about the mission, not her own personal agenda (which was not only hypocritical, but as Beatrice said, unfair). And in that same scene, she dismissed Mary as not being a true member of the team because she wasn’t a nun and didn’t take vows like the rest of them. She was a free agent who operated on her own terms.

But after their tearful reconciliation in the catacombs, Vincent’s betrayal, and Mary’s subsequent disappearance under an army of wraith demons, Lilith’s priorities shift significantly. The start of season two finds her as the new lone wolf as she hunts down Vincent herself. And while the OCS is just as interested in finding him to get to Adriel, Lilith’s only concern is Mary. She’s ready to tear him apart herself, just as Mary threatened that man in 1×02, and then later goes through a whole squadron with her bare hands.

The part that really gets me, though, is Lilith and Vincent’s scene in the car. She’s finally got a lead after two months, finally has a location on Mary. And despite being outnumbered, despite being about to walk into Adriel’s fortress without backup, there isn’t one shred of fear or hesitation. She just tells Vincent to signal the guards. “Put a foot out of place and I’ll –”

“You’ll kill me. I know,” Vincent says.

A small smile plays around Lilith’s mouth. “I won’t kill you,” she says easily. “I’d never take that pleasure away from Mary.”

She gives him a pointed look and Vincent just grimaces before they climb out of the car.

Vincent is jovial as he greets the guards and then gestures to Lilith with an outstretched arm. “I have brought home a friend.”

And Lilith, chuckling, slides right into the embrace like it’s nothing, even putting her head on his shoulder. They walk through the gates just like that, leaning against each other.

It’s such a cruel twist of the knife to think that that’s how they were before. We’ve only really seen Vincent’s one-on-one dynamic with Ava, Mary, and Beatrice, but this ease, this familiarity with Lilith is something completely different. Given her family’s history with the OCS and her claim that she’s trained harder than anyone else, she was probably one of the closest to him.

Their embrace is that of a father and daughter. This was someone she could laugh with, lean on, confide in. Someone she trusted to take care of her. Now it’s just a part she plays on paper so that she can get her real family back.

[ghostly-runes]

Marauders era characters and their siblings headcanons/ocs

Notes:

I saw someone on here say that it’s out of character for most of the Marauders Era characters not having any siblings and I agree. So I compiled a list of most of the characters that I think have siblings. Ask if you want to know more about any of them :]

(Also, I’ll probably make separate post for all the family’s and include some more info and face claims.)

Listed:

Pandora and Evan

Marlene

Alice

Xenophillius

Peter

Mary

Pandora and Evan Rosier’s siblings

A little background:

- The twins were raised by their grandparents because their mother’s husband despised them as they weren’t his. However, to not cause any uproar he claims them as his so they have his last name.

- Their father is a lestrange and their mother had them through an affair

- They went to school from '72-'79

- Pandora is older and transfemme so she’s the heir of the family

Dahlia Rosier:

- Goes to school from ‘73-'80

- Slytherin

- French

- 1/4 Veela

- half sibling from their mother’s side

- She was raised by their mother and her husband (Who is Dahlia’s bio father)

- Growing up she’s taught to despise her siblings as well by her father, however after she starts at Hogwarts she learns slowly that they aren’t as bad as her dad makes them out to be

- She’s jealous for quite a while that even though Pandora isn’t her dad’s bio kid she’s the heir of his family

- she’s a snobby kid when she’s younger but grows up to be kinder person (still sarcastic and blunt though)

- She’s the rich wine aunt to Luna when she’s older

Rodolphus Lestrange:

- Goes to school from '64-'71

- Slytherin

- French (fathers side) + Russian (mothers side)

- is aware of Pandora and Evan but doesn’t have a relationship with them

Rabastan Lestrange:

- Goes to school from '68-'75

- Slytherin

- French (fathers side) + Russian (mothers side)

- is aware of Pandora and Evan but doesn’t have a relationship with them

Marlene McKinnon’s Siblings

Background:

- Marlene’s mom is Chinese from Canada

- All of Marlene’s siblings have a English and Chinese name, I’ll include both (please let me know if I fuck these up any as I’m not Chinese)

- Marlene goes to school from ‘70-‘77

- Her Chinese name is “Mǐn Jūn” for those of you curious

Cecelia "Chen" McKinnon:

- Goes to school from '73-'80

- Gryffindor

- Canadian + Chinese (mothers side)

- Cecelia tends to be the typical “perfect” younger sibling to their parents and is treated like it, putting a strain on hers and her sisters relationships

- She’s a shy girl that is creative and good at most forms of art (Painting being her favorite)

- She is also good at sports but doesn’t like them

Lillian "Lihua" McKinnon:

- Goes to school from '69-'76

- Gryffindor

- Canadian + Chinese (mothers side)

- Plays as quidditch Beater while at Hogwarts

- Lillian is the more “rebellious” sibling getting into trouble with their parents often

- She’s the most charismatic out of her sisters

- She is closest with Marlene and they both tend to get in trouble with one another

- She’s also where Marlene got her love of quidditch from

Shannon "Xīn yán" McKinnon:

- Goes to school from '68-'75

- Gryffindor

- Canadian + Chinese (mothers side)

- Shannon is quiet and stoic but is very much a person her sisters go to for advice if they need it

- She’s the reader of the family

Alice Longbottom(neé Fortescue)’s sibling(s)

Background:

- the siblings live and grow up in Italy, going to Hogwarts for school

- Bartimeus Crouch is a family friend to their father (Enzo Fortescue)

- Barty grows up living close to the Fortescue’s until he moves at 9 back to Scotland

- Alice goes to school from '68-'75

Florian Fortescue:

- Goes to school from '62-'69

- Hufflepuff

- Italian

- he’s the sane one, he tends to be pretty laid back and hangs out in his family greenhouse often

- He’s so emotionally aware and just really good at comforting people, Alice and Barty learn this skill from him

Barty Crouch Jr.:

- Goes to school from '72-'79

- Ravenclaw

- Scottish (dad’s side) + Puerto Rican (mom’s side)

- Plays as quidditch Beater while at Hogwarts

- him and Alice argued all the time when they were little but also practically joined at the hip until he had to move

- Alice and him write letters to one another as often as they can

Xenophillius Lovegood’s sibling

Background:

- Xenophillius is born under a different name and changes it after he moves away and cuts contact with his family

- Xeno goes to school from '72-'79

- The Malfoys are ethnically French but live in England

Lucius Malfoy:

- Goes to school from '65-'72

- Slytherin

- British + French

- growing up him and Xeno didn’t get along, Lucius always thought his siblings was strange and teased them

Peter Pettigrew’s siblings

Background:

- Pete goes to school from '71-'78

- Because his sisters are older Peter isn’t really close with them

- The Mckinnons and Pettigrews grew up together as neighbors and consider one another family

- The Pettigrew siblings were raised by their aunt (Mother’s sister) as their mother wasn’t considered fit to raise them

Diana Pettigrew

- Goes to school from '67-'74

- Gryffindor

- German + British

- Diana is sarcastic and can be kind of mean at times but is generally a good person

- She’s one of the only people to see through Peter and suspect something of him when the Potters pass away and he suddenly goes missing

- She also figures out he’s a death eater after he goes missing

- She refuses to go to his funeral after he’s presumed dead and it strains hers and her sister’s relationship for a while

Heidi

- Goes to school from '68-'75

- Hufflepuff

- German + British

- Heidi is the sweetest girl you’ll meet but is bad for letting people walk all over her

- She believes her brother is innocent even after he’s proven guilty and is revealed to be scabbers and a death eater

- She’s one of the only people to show up to his funeral (the other being her aunt)

Mary MacDonald’s sibling

Background:

- Mary grows up with the kind of parents where they’re not divorced but should be

Jack MacDonald:

- He doesn’t go to Hogwarts as he’s born a muggle

- Is almost 4 years older than Mary

- Jack didn’t do well in school and dropped out in secondary school

- He’s extremely hardworking though and when his sister loses all her memories he helps her get back up on her feet

- Growing up he was fiercely protective of Mary and practically raised her even with not much of an age gap

[wtf-is-this-life]

I just can't stop thinking about Beatrice. Young Beatrice who learnt and perfected so many skills so that she had value, so that she could make up for her "flaws". Joining the OCS, being the Rookie, but refusing to let herself make mistakes. Always taking on more responsibility. Because even though she's a nun now everything she hates about herself is still right there, so she's constantly doing more, learning more, taking on more.

The thing about being the responsible one, the one that can be relied upon, the perfect one - people take that shit for granted. You've always done it so of course you'll keep doing it.

We don't know much about the time before Ava, surely there were other deaths in her time as a nun - but very quickly Beatrice's closest circle is diminishing, Shannon, Lilith (however briefly), and then Mary. Then there's Ava, and she'd just pushed straight past Beatrice's walls - she's probably the first person Beatrice came out to since joining the church (though it seems Mary had a fair idea). And Ava almost died as well.

But then suddenly she's being sent off to protect and train Ava till they get called back in. Having to be the one to set up their new lives, to make sure it's safe. Be the adult, be the responsible person, because Ava never had the chance to learn any of that.

All of this to say - how do you think Bea had her breakdown? Because oh boy was she due one!

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

One Little Sigh by Shannon Hollinger

Chief Maggie Riley #4

Complex, compelling, and haunting story about some dark issues found in Coyote Cove Main ~ Couldn’t put it down!

What I liked:

* Chief Maggie Riley: brilliant, capable, skilled detective, listens to her gut instincts, left Florica to work in Coyote Cove, Maine, has suffered personal loss, soon to marry her fiancé Steve, upholds the law, works with minimal staff, has a difficult relationship with her parents, great deductive skills

* Steve Winters: Maggie’s fiancé, financial wiz who lost his fire and moved to the country, understands and loves Maggie, protective, loving, caring, and his issues with old “friend” Wesley come to head

* Kal Kishore: Magie’s lieutenant, seems competent and protective, didn’t play a big part in this book but hope to see more of him in the future * Sue: Maggie’s assistant at police department, wears interesting clothes to work, a bit of a mother-hen, didn’t have a big part in this book

* The visit of Steve’s mother, sister, and grandfather and the parts they played in the story

* The flashbacks Maggie experienced while searching for missing four-year-old PJ that stirred up memories of her missing brother and what happened when he went missing five years ago

* The plot, pacing, setting, and writing

* The police procedural aspects of the story and how all the threads were tied up at the end

* The hopeful ending of the story that left me with a desire to see what will happen in book five

What I didn’t like:

* Who and what I was meant not to like

* Thinking about how evil some of the characters were and wondering how they could justify doing what they did

* Having to wait to read the next book in the series

Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more in this series? Definitely

Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture for the ARC – This is my honest review.

5 Stars

BLURB

The small child floats so gently in the water, he could be peacefully but the cold blue of his skin reveals his fate. One mother’s little boy is never coming home again. When Chief Maggie Riley sees the body of the small boy still dressed in pyjamas in Beaverhead Lake, her heart breaks. Little Patrick Warner went missing last night. Despite immediately calling the entire town of Coyote Cove into action, Maggie’s desperate search failed. Even worse, it’s clear it was Patrick took his last breath long before he entered the water. Maggie is devastated—Patrick reminds her so much of her beautiful younger brother, gone for so long. Visiting the tiny, rumpled bed where Patrick’s teddy bear still lies, and where Patrick was last seen by his mother Jenny, Maggie’s grief turns to rage. She is determined to bring whoever hurt Patrick to justice. In this isolated community, someone must know something. But no one will talk. And if his family had nothing to do with it, why are they so secretive? As Maggie’s investigation gathers pace, her emotions threaten to overwhelm her. She still doesn’t know her brother’s fate—she won’t let that happen for little Patrick. But when Jenny suddenly disappears, suspicions whirl around her role in Patrick’s death. Could she have been lying all this time? Or is Jenny herself in terrible danger too? To uncover the truth before more innocent lives are lost, and lay her demons to rest, Maggie will have to risk not only those closest to her but her own life too… An utterly addictive crime thriller perfect for fans of Lisa Regan, Mary Stone and Melinda Leigh. What readers are saying about the Chief Maggie Riley “Just wow!… fantastic…! kept me hooked from beginning to end. I literally could not put it down and read it in an afternoon… Loved it!” NetGalley reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Wow, this book is incredible. I love the Maggie Riley series… highly recommend… I cannot wait for the next book!”@thrillology_explorer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Holy cow… I have a new obsession… cannot get enough…I am officially addicted…Warning—sleep will be impossible once you start this book. You will not be able to put it down.”Goodreads reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Small town crime and a chief of police with a devastating past, yes please!… OMG what an absolute wild ride… couldn’t believe the HUGE TWIST at the end.”Yorkshire Carly, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “What an amazing series this is! I am completely enthralled… Loved this book… frantically turned the pages, gripped… incredibly addictive and transporting… sheer genius.’NetGalley reviewer, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Here. We. Go.

[feiquacker]

Day -2

"What ya mean she's gotta come over in two days? The kid was supposed to be here on the 22nd." Mary looks at Shannon who is sprawled out on their couch munching on some chips and popcorn.

"Well yes but something came between and I am not sending her back after this." Susan's voice rings from the other side of the speaker. Mary grasps the phone tighter. "We aren't ready Susan. We don't even have a spare toothbrush!"

"A toothbrush should be the last of your worries."

"What could be so urgent that she can't stay a day longer at her parents'?"

"The fact that if Ava was 2 minutes too late you wouldn't have to worry about a toothbrush." it's cold and cut straight through her - leaving her feeling like someone cut off her airway and knees at the same time, so she wobbles over to sit next to Shannon.

"If you are not ready I am taking her in so you won't need to think about what colour her toothbrush should be."

-------

Day 1

They don't know what to expect, it was a blind shot. If Julian and Suzann, their closest friends ask for help it would be pretty stupid to say no.

All they know about the kid is that she is 16, that she is nearly top of her class, and that she might be a little shaken when she comes.

What they didn't expect was a polite smile and a metal-rod straight back, cute freckles and brown eyes. She isn't shaking or crying or whatever stupid thing Mary thought. No, she is just kindly smiling as she stands next to Superion and holds a little backpack. Let's not talk about the social worker lurking behind that Superion probably made stand two steps away.

"I'm Shannon. This is Mary." she stretches out her hand and the first thing she notices is how cold Beatrice’s hand is against her own warm palm.

"Beatrice." British. A deep, posh tune sings her way. The smile on the kid's face is warm. Warm and soft and something Mary thinks she could find to love someday.

"We are happy to have you here Beatrice." and of course the fucking social worker had to step in just now. So instead of making everyone stand in the doorway Shannon ushers them inside.

"We have to talk some things over with you about..." she looks at Beatrice "What happened and how we are going to continue." Mary can already feel the dread bleeding into her brain.

Beatrice - stands there next to the couch where she had found a place to, well, stand. Unchanged, maybe a little lost in thought.

"While you do that I will go show Beatrice her room." Mary looks at Shannon. It's a question. One only Shannon can answer, the only person Mary would think about listening to. With a small nod from Shannon and a protest from the social worker, Mary sets off with Beatrice two steps behind her, up the stairs and in front of the room.

"Make yourself cosy. We didn't want to do anything with it. So you can make it just the way you like. There's a little welcome box on the bed. Wanna see your fairly empty but new room?" and Beatrice gives her a little nod so she pushes open the door and lets the kid walk in. It's so awfully slow Mary thinks Beatrice doesn't like it until "Is it ok if I put my belongings on the chair?"

Belongings. For God's sake kid.

An overly expensive backpack that doesn't seem to have anything in it but a couple of clothes. A pair of sneakers tied to it, old and falling apart. And a jacket that looked very fashionable and was probably worth more than Mary's motorcycle.

"Of course. Make yourself feel at home." in the long run, that might not have been the best way to tell a child that got abused in their home to 'feel like home'. But Beatrice just nods and pads over to the chair, slowly letting her backpack flap onto it.

"Soo. I'm not really the small talk type. How are you?"

"I am fine. Thank you." Beatrice ghosts a hand over the bed where she had walked to "You?"

"Fine. I'm fine. Yes." she rocks on her heels, clicks her tongue "Do you want me to stay or should I give you a minute?"

And it's a game of watching Beatrice freeze, stiffen, calculate some mathematical formula in her head and open her mouth two times before muttering a "You can stay. I don't mind."

Mary desperately tries not to stop her stomach from dropping when she hears out the unspoken 'Please stay, I don't think I can be alone.'

So she pushes off the door, makes the first step and seats herself on the fresh bedsheets, patting it so the kid can sit next to her.

"Why don't you tell me how old you are?"

"I thought all needed information has been given to you."

"It has been. I want to hear it from you though."

She hesitates. She hesitates. Why would she hesitate? Clearly all Mary was trying to do was make her open up.

Oh.

"I am sixteen."

"I am thirty-two. Your turn. Ask me a question."

She can see the tension in the girl's shoulders loosen. But not fall. Never fall.

"What do you do?"

"'Car mechanic on weekends. And first responder but at the fire station."

------

Day 2

She wakes with a pain in her lower back, spreading up her spine and twisting around the back of her head. What the fuck? Something tickles her nose and it takes her an embarrassing amount of time to realize it is her own hair.

Hiding away from the sunlight she stayed curled until her bladder felt like it was about to explode and she was practically dying of thirst.

So with heavy limbs and even heavier clothes she slips out of bed and pads her way down the hallway. Bare feet on cold tiles toddle away until she is back in the room, sitting on the bed.

She shouldn't go to sleep. She should go say good morning, or wander the house while Shannon and Mary sleep. Wait are they even here? Do they share a room?

She slowly tiptoes over to the door, standing there and listening until her feet tingle. Sounds like they are asleep. Or not here.

So slowly she cracks the door open again, slithers into the hall and down the stairs with footsteps as light as when she's hungry and sneaking around her parent's house.

"Mary?" she asks when she comes into the kitchen. No one's there. "Shannon?" she finds a note on the table.

It's yellow with blue ink, scribbled down and decorated with smilies.

Didn’t want to wake you. We're at work, boss wouldn't give either of us a day off. Hope you explore the house a bit. There's breakfast in the fridge, suit yourself. ~Love Mary and Shannon

Should she? No. Mother never let her eat if she isn't present. But then again Beatrice often sneaked around and stole snacks and apples if she could find any. A familiar grumble pulled her out of her thoughts.

Decision made I guess.

She reaches out, opens the fridge only to be met with the sight of pancakes and Chinese take-out and... Pizza with pineapple??

There are groceries, there's milk in there. Why the hell are there tomatoes in the fridge? And the thing looks like a bomb fell and it was hit with thousands of missiles.

"Clean it up Beatrice." her mother speaks. "Come on. Don't be the fucking mess you are for once in your life. Clean it up."

So before she even has breakfast, half the ingredients of the fridge are on the counter and she is organizing them in the most practical order she can come up with. Moping down the side of the fridge, sweeping the floor in front of it. Well she started, she can continue.

Soon the whole kitchen is broomed down and the sink is running as she washes her hands. "Be nobel Beatrice. I didn't raise a scumbag." by the time she's seated onto the rather small table in comparison to the one at home, she's practically shaking.

"Be nobel Beatrice." fuck that. She devours the first pancake, Nutella dripping down one side as she holds it high and slurps it up. One used paper towel turned into eight used paper towels and by the time she was finished with her fourth pancake she has fought off the words her mother would repeat over and over again, doing exactly the opposite, multiple times.

The little plate she used to devour the pancakes in is softly placed under running water, scrubbed until it was as clean as new and dried it before it found its place back in the cabinet.

What time is it? There's no clock in the kitchen, so she sets off to find one in the living room. 13 o'clock, there is no way she would have been allowed to sleep this long before. She could go sleep again but somehow she just can't, despite the exhaustion weighing her down. Plus if she isn't cleaning or moving the voices get too loud, try to drag her into darkness - and she can't allow that now.

Not when she is living with Mary and Shannon. She can't allow herself to feel all woozy and foggy. (Jokes on her, she is feeling that right now)

So she sets off to adventure the rooms, explores the garden, wanders the halls again. Looks for every crack in the floor and every squeak mapping out where she could step and where she has to absolutely avoid it. If the window in her room opens she can absolutely climb down the facade and if that is hard she can climb down the tree.

Clicking the window open she smiles to herself. Ok. That's good.

And with nothing to do she finds the remote control, clicks on the first bird documentary she can find and settles onto the couch "You have to catch up. You are slacking off." later. And there is no one to see her right now. No one to grab her by the back of her neck and lead her into the library, to burn her back with expensive belts or cold hands.

No one around to lock the door and forget her.

So she settles down, watching the little moths fly as the tone of the voice over slowly starts to fade and so does her battle with sleep.

She doesn't even notice she nodded off until there's clicking, taking her a little too long to notice it's a key, her heart sinking as she scrambles up, tripping over the stairs twice and crashing open the door to her room with her shoulder.

Where did she put her bag?? Where were her books???

As if just in time she throws two books on the desk, cracks on open as she searches for a page in her notebook that wasn't filled with scribbles on the side.

Scribbles: poor innocent ink being smeared on the paper as she tries to not tap her feet or flap her hands or bite her nails in class.

There's a knock on the door just as she picks up the blue pen.

"Yes?" what is she supposed to say?? "Come in."

It's Shannon who sticks her head in the room.

"Hey Bea. Got back from work" she says as if she is not standing right here. What - maybe she has no idea what to say either "but you weren't in the living room. Just, checking on you." she smiles

Bea looks at her before also shooting her a smile "I was a bit bored and had nothing to do. I hope you don't mind me reorganizing the fridge."

"Oh yea. No. No problem." there's the silence again. A little weird? Bea doesn't really mind.

What actually bothers her is the blue pen in her hand and black ink on her notebook as blood deafens her ears

"I'm gonna go take a fast shower and you can join me in the living room if you want." Shannon gently hits the door and closes it after Bea nods.

She didn't notice the wrong colour pen. She didn't care.

School AU: Beatrice's first few weeks with Shannon and Mary

She's so tired of being the perfect child her parents wanted her to be. But even if she doesn't need to be now, it has become a habit to be perfect. She's quiet and accommodating, only responding when talked to. She does what she's told and never does anything that she thinks would make her new guardians mad.

She observes them, taking in their lifestyles and watching their actions. She wants to be good for them, as long as she's good like she was taught to be she won't be punished. She's tired of punishments and she's determined to be someone that's low maintenance so they won't get tired of her.

She's so concerned about being perfect and good and not being punished that sometimes, whenever there are big movements or whenever Shan or Mary raises their hands, Bea would freeze, fear written on her face as clear as day as she waits for the impact that would never happen.

Her first few sessions with the therapist are going well too, in her mind, telling the therapist that she's fine would mean spending lesser time there and that would mean being less of a burden. She simply recounts every traumatic event like a report. She doesn't talk about the occasional panic attacks and nightmares she would have at her new home, muffling her cries at the phantom pains, though she doesn't know that Shannon and Mary would fill the therapist in on the details she omitted.

One day, they would confront Beatrice about the way she's behaving. That they cannot help her if she keeps running away from her problems, that they don't expect her to be perfect like her parents. Of course, Bea didn't take it too well, her mind instead changing their concern into disappointment. She closes her eyes, thinking that she's made them mad, that they're finally tired of her. She drops to her knees with ease, grasping her hands tightly behind her back - a position her parents liked her to be in before they deliver the punishment. If she dares to block their hits, she would be punished more.

She apologizes and recites their words as the reason for accepting punishment. She shut herself off, prepared to deal with the amount of pain she thinks she would be put through. What she didn't expect though, was for Shannon to drop to her knees as well and pull Bea into a hug, patting her head and talking in a soft voice.

"Oh, honey, no. We don't mean it like that. We are here to help you and we don't want you to suffer. You don't have to suffer alone. You don't have to be perfect for us, you just have to be you. We want to know the true Beatrice. You're safe with us, we won't punish or scold you for anything. You're only human and no matter what, we're here to support you."

Tears well up in Bea's eyes the moment she processed the words. She allows herself to melt in Shan's embrace, timidly grasping onto her shirt. "I won't be punished even if I'm not perfect..?" Her voice is soft, afraid to even ask such a question. It makes Shan's heart break and she shifts so she could pull Bea closer.

"You'll never be punished ever again. You won't have to feel pain anymore."

"... Will I get hugs too..?" That question makes Shan choke on a sob, a wet chuckle escaping as she nods.

"Of course, you'll have all the hugs you want."

So Beatrice does better. Because being hugged after doing her best to confront her traumas makes it all worth it. She is loved, and her life is no longer filled with pain.

[wecantseeyou]

they’re never yours. they never last.

There are a number of lines in s2 that I believe were originally intended for Mary, but were given to various other characters due to their importance to the story and executing the emotional arcs of the season. In particular, I keep coming back to Camila’s intercession to Beatrice’s doubt concerning Ava. The conversation between Beatrice and Camila is lovely - someone offering back to Beatrice what she so freely offers others, whatever she needs. It shows how Camila is more perceptive than she gets credit for, but also speaks to how the normally mission-driven Beatrice has shifted her dedication to Ava in a way that everyone can see.

However, the lines Camila says about the Warrior Nun? 

“It’s easy to fall in love with the Warrior Nun. It’s loving the Warrior Nun that’s the hard part. They’re never yours. They never last.”

They have Mary written all over them.

We haven’t seen or heard about Camila having any special relationship with the Warrior Nuns of her time, which is likely just Shannon and maybe Suzanne. She’s the young recruit - new and shiny and still impulsive, not yet a part of the main team at the beginning of the show. She wasn’t even there when Shannon died. It doesn’t exactly make sense for Camila to have this evolved emotional understanding of the pitfalls of a close relationship with the Warrior Nun if she was never close to one herself.

Mary, on the other hand, did. Mary who ignored Ava and the halo in the beginning to find out what happened to Shannon. Mary who trusted her instincts when they told her something was off, something was wrong with how Shannon was killed. 

Mary who was the closest to Shannon. Mary alone who was wrapped in Shannon’s arms in the photograph in Shannon’s cell. 

Mary who, along with the others, resented Ava for not being Shannon. Mary who understood Ava more than the rest because of her relationship with Shannon. Mary who resented the halo for what it did to Shannon.

Mary who was ready to watch Duretti burn for what she thought he did to Shannon. Mary who ran into a horde of possessed people because of Vincent and Adriel and what they did to Shannon.

It's Mary who knows what it's like to fall in love with a Warrior Nun. What it's like to love a Warrior Nun. What it's like to so desperately want someone who has sworn to give their life to a higher calling.

It's Mary who understands that the duty of the Warrior Nun means she can never give all of herself to you.

It's Mary who loved Shannon.

It’s Mary who would have seen Beatrice laid bare in the aftermath of it all – her devotion to Ava, the cracks in her façade, the arms length she tries to keep between herself and the truth. 

It’s Mary who would have seen herself reflected in Beatrice’s struggle and who would have offered her the salvation of truth.

And it’s Mary, the woman who lost Shannon and never gave up on the injustice of her death, who would offer Beatrice this fellowship: 

It was easy to fall in love with Shannon. It was difficult to love Shannon. She was never mine. She would never last. 

And I loved her anyway.

[blackinperiodfilms]

BEAUTY | Official Trailer | Netflix

A gifted young Black woman (Gracie Marie Bradley) struggles to maintain her voice and identity after she’s offered a lucrative recording contract, setting off a fierce battle between her family, the label, and her closest friend to determine who will guide her as she makes the journey to become a star. 

Starring Niecy Nash, Giancarlo Esposito, Gracie Marie Bradley, Aleyse Shannon, and Sharon Stone. Written by Lena Waithe and directed by Andrew Dosunmu.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

okay wait also before i go to bed: babysitters club au please. bonus points for including at least one ridiculous outfit description here. triple bonus if the outfit includes a jaunty beret with like a sequined tiger appearing to leap from chrissy's forehead at some point. (sorry for plagiarizing u, ann m. martin. probably.)

YES EXCELLENT. OKAY. My brain immediately went to mapping the characters onto their BSC counterparts and then this happened.

Nancy Wheeler as Kristin Amanda Thomas. I will not be taking comments at this time.

Chrissy as Mary-Anne Spier. HEAR ME OUT, because I know Chrissy is aesthetically the Stacey BUT Mary-Anne is quiet and reserved until you piss her off and then she turns into Little Miss I Love Myself and gets sassy haircuts and is the only member of the BSC with a boyfriend AND if she's Mary Anne I can kill off Laura.

For Claudia Lynn Kishi, I'm going back and forth on El or Will, because El has a very unique sense of fashion, and would probably do well with some of Claudia's canonical outfits, while Will is a talented artist who probably needs his own phone line since he keeps breaking his mother's when he calls her from the Upside Down.

Argyle as Dawn Read Schafer because he has long hair and is from California and some people find him annoying but I like him.

Steve as Anastasia "Stacey" Elizabeth "Boontsie" McGill because if he was from New York City he'd probably talk a lot about being from New York City. Also he probably has the nickname Boontsie.

Barb as Mallory Pike because Mallory is a horse girl and Barb gives me big horse girl energy. (Also lol that Mallory doesn't have a middle name? I guess her parents forgot? I don't really care for Mallory.)

Max as Jessi Davis Ramsey because nobody on Stranger Things is canonically a dancer BUT Jessi was cool and precocious and hung out with older kids while being suave, just like Max.

Erica as Shannon Louisa Kilbourne because she gets. shit. done. and you can't spell America without Erica. Seriously, though, Shannon was a high-achieving mfer with no patience for fools.

Eddie as Logan Bruno SIMPLY for Mary Anne proximity but also because I think making Logan a metalhead would be the most interesting thing that anyone ever did for Logan's character.

Robin as Abby Stevenson because she showed up late in the series, stole my heart, and is definitely a lesbian. Abby also doesn't have a middle name, so that's fun.

This leaves me with Lucas, Mike, Jonathan, and Dustin if I'm doing main cast. SORRY, KIDS. Let's see how many "other" characters I remember from Stoneybrook.

Lucas as Sam Thomas because Sam seemed cool and was kind of a jock but still had time to flirt inappropriately with Stacey, but in this universe we'll say it's APPROPRIATE flirting with Max-as-Jessi and Lucas-as-Sam is 11 not 15.

Mike as Trevor Sandbourne because IIRC Trevor dated Claudia for a while which works if you are a Byler OR a Mileven shipper, which probably says a lot about why both those ships are fun!

Jonathan as Bart Taylor because of the Nancy proximity, only instead of coaching a kid's softball team, he takes pictures for the yearbook and Nancy, in addition to running the BSC, a softball team, solving 70 mysteries, and going on many trips around the world in various Super Specials, is also the editor of the yearbook.

Dustin as Janine Kishi simply because Janine was a geek who liked computers and shit, and Dustin enjoys such things. I'm sorry, Dustin! The BSC did not have as many nerd tropes as I needed!

Bonus:

Angela as Cokie Mason because fuck her

Jason as Alan Gray because Alan is the closest thing the series has to a real dick

Billy as Robert Brewster (if you're into Harringrove and subscribe to my Steve-as-Stacey theory) because they dated.

Anyway, this took FAR longer than it should have and I am like 30% proud of it. Please be gentle.

[creativeashproductions]

An Unwitting Sanctuary // Luke Patterson

IN WHICH: Reader finds herself dropped kicked into a  whole new world void of demons but filled with ghosts. Having grown up in a top secret religious Order it’s quite the adjustment temporarily stationed in a world less dangerous. But with the help of a trio of teen ghosts and a girl whose throat was nearly slit the transition isn’t fought.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, demons, wounds, angst, and fluff

Words: 5.6k

A/N: Just another fic that I periodically worked on. This is a crossover with the Netflix original series Warrior Nun which I highly recommend.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

It all started a decade ago when you lost your mother to an illness that had desiccated your family's happiness. Your father failed to find peace at the bottom of a bottle before he was a great father. In his last attempt to be a father, he made the tough decision to give you up to save you from watching his self-destruction and so he wouldn't hurt you.

That's how you found yourself numb on an airplane heading for Spain where you had been taken in. Tear tracks slowly drying on your pale cheeks, you tried to find what you did wrong for your parents to leave you.

"Hi." A sweet voice spoke from beside you. A girl with light brown hair in pigtails said with a bright grin, "I'm Ava."

A faint blush appeared on your cheeks at her words, but with one mention of your favourite show, you couldn't help but ramble. The woman beside Ava, her mother, smiled at how easily Ava could make someone happy. Ava and her mom remained by your side, even getting off the plane.

"It was nice to meet you." Ava beamed, revealing a missing tooth. Ava tackled you in a hug tightly, "You're my bestest friend in Spain." 

Your little hand waved as Ava's small stature disappeared out the airport entrance with her mother leaving behind a forlorn little girl. A stoic woman using a cane slowly made her way to you emotionless as she glanced at a photograph in her other hand.

"Y/N Y/L/N? You may call me Mother Superion," The Nun questioned, resting both her hands on the head of the cane with such intimidation, "Follow me. You're very fortunate Cardinal Duretti and Father Vincent found you.

"Why do you wear robes?" Your innocent question was taken by Mother Superion with little regard. Mother Superion questioned if the Order could afford having a child in the midst of the Order members' sworn duty.

"It is my habit. It is an outward sign of my religious' consecration to God." Mother Superion spoke, leading the way to an unmarked black vehicle idling for the stoic Nun and the little child. A vehicle that would transport a small American child to a place devoid of parental love and nurtured guidance.

Now at eighteen years of age, you had seen more than most people saw their entire lives; you were no longer the bright-eyed little girl longing for her father's hug. You were a girl who matured beyond her years, dedicating her life to a mission civilians had no clue about. It was a hard life among your fellow Sisters, yet you were closest to the Warrior Sisters you had been assigned to. Mary, Beatrice, Camila, Shannon and Lilith; Mary being your closest friend given you both were part of The Order of the Cruciform Sword but not Nuns, having never taken the vows. Lilith had grown colder and bitter when Sister Shannon was chosen for the Halo, so it was often hard to be around her now.

Mostly when she was gunning to retrieve the Halo from the resurrected formerly quadriplegic teenager girl. A girl that would most likely lose her life if Lilith succeeded and you, along with Mary, made it your mission to stop Lilith. Which led you to a warehouse where Lilith was on a screaming Ava, the Nun so gone you had absolutely no doubts Lilith would any anything for the Halo.

"-and you can't even appreciate that." Lilith hissed in the other girl's ear, "Your loss."

The Divinium blade stabbed into the middle of the Halo, sending severe pain through the Bearer's body. Her echoing screams joining the mystical sound reverberating from the golden glowing Halo itself.

"Enough!" Mary shouted, sprinting as Lilith started to carve the Halo out of Ava's back. In an unspoken decision, Mary tackled the Sister while you scrambled on your knees. You wrenched the knife from Ava's backsliding the blood-soaked blade in your combat boot.

"Ava, you need to get to the side. If Lilith comes, use the skills you gained from the Order." You told the teenager as you helped her up before running to join the combat.

"Fuck off!" Ava shouted, scrambling over to her unconscious friend JC. Another example of why relationships and friendships were impossible, a casualty in the work against the demons.

Your closed fist slammed Lilith's left cheekbone sending a splatter of blood from her lips; you dropped into a defensive crouch. Gracefully twirling, you avoided the hard kick from Lilith while Mary wiped the blood from her face. Lunging back from Lilith, you kicked her thigh, getting distance from her.

Lilith was about to slam her boot into your midsection when a familiar sound echoed in the warehouse. You all went still scanning the room for the unfortunate Tarask that would appear after a portal opened.

"Mary?" Lilith breathed, focused on the golden ripple behind the operative, who slowly turned as the screech grew louder. You stepped back beside Lilith as the Tarask entered the dimension just as terrifying as the last time. 

Slipping one of her shotguns, you raised it just taking a shot when it aggressively hit Mary, sending her halfway across the warehouse into a windshield. The shotgun in your hand started blasting at the increasingly pissed off demon.

Lilith was slowly unslinging the Divinium Sword from the scabbard on her back. Your eyes flicked from the movement to the Tarask towering in the room. It didn't take a genius to understand Lilith felt the need to prove herself as the rightful Bearer. 

"Lilith, no." You sternly spoke, flinching when the Tarask flipped a car towards Ava and the boy. The horrendous Tarask stopped as Mary joined in, shooting him as your shotgun clicked empty. 

Ava was stumbling back, keeping the boy behind her as the Tarask stalked her lifting one of its razor-sharp appendages. Lilith lunged in front of Ava in a moment of redemption as you tried to push Lilith away, but something lifechanging happened. 

A twin gasp filled the area as you felt something enter your body from behind. Glancing down, you saw the appendage had impaled your lower stomach right after it went through Lilith.

"No!" Mary screamed as you choked on the pain flooding your system. Sound faded as you could feel rather than hear your scream. A dribble of liquid slowly ran down the corner of your mouth, the copper taste bitter.

Red hot pain came from your midsection along with a deep cut oozing blood from your arm where Lilith had sliced your skin open with the Sword. Lilith slumped onto your back as she screamed, which had you literally slide off the Tarask's appendage with the lubrication of your own blood.

Your body connected with the floor having a first-row seat as Lilith whispered something that aided Ava in fighting the Tarask. With the swing of the Sword, the Tarask burst into flames vanishing through a portal with Lilith still on it.

Your eyes fluttered as Mary limped over your prone form. Maybe now you could join your mother in peace.

"No! Keep your eyes open," Mary demanded, struggling to lift you with her leg. A thin bead of blood-stained your cheek as it ran a path from the corner of your mouth.

Your eyes shut completely faded into a painless sleep.

The next time you woke up in the medical ward where you would stay for weeks after miraculously surviving what should have been fatal. Things changed for you, leaving doctors unclear; even Jillian Salvius' scientists and herself couldn't figure it out. Things got better, but the whole teleporting and you could see the demons once hidden from you.

There were other things you do, but that wasn't as important as the current moment deep in the catacombs of Vatican City. Soon you left Warrior Sisters to help Mother Superion in keeping the Reject Nuns from stopping your mission. After the last one fled, you watched as the entire area grumbled, Beatrice must have to blow up part of the tomb to retrieve Ava from whatever she'd found. You were proven right when Father Vincent carrying Ava appeared.

The Sisters recounted what happened, leaving you shocked. Ava had managed to phase through the twenty feet of solid rock to steal Adriel's bones. Instead of a pile of bones, Ava had found that the supposed Angel had been waiting for her. 

"He was alive?" You breathed, taken aback as Ava dropped the bomb that Adriel was alive and very much not an Angel. 

"He's a devil." Ava's words proved correct when invisible forces shoved the line of people far across from you. Unlike anything, you had ever seen before in your life.

A dark-haired man strode down the middle confidently with one wave of his arms, sending people flying away and dust from his lost robes. The man was dressed entirely in black and oozed darkness. His eyes gazed at Ava before meeting yours with a smirk. 

"Perfect."

Your eyes widened at his blunt statement issued directly at you, "Why is he looking at me like a prized possession?" 

"Stay here." Father Vincent spoke, pushing in front of everyone to make his way to the man who should have never been let out. Something deep in your stomach felt wrong; Father Vincent sent your heightened instincts flaring. 

You could hear a whisper in your head as somehow words reached across the great distance in Father Vincent's voice. 

"My master." Father Vincent verbally revealed his betrayal, leaving you breathless. He was one of few people that raised you from childhood, and he was evil. Adriel whispered to Vincent's ear, he was no Father, before stepping around him. 

"I admit my doubt laid in if you could be brought." Adriel's cultured voice spoke, staring at you, "My first step involved finding a capable human, 'A child's awakening born from despair. A child brought from a different part of the world'" 

You hyper-focused on the approaching man, barely noticing anything else, even the glance between Ava and Lilith. The entire group began fighting the man cleanly and professionally, you were drenched in blood from close combat.

In a lull, two girls came close together, each with a heavy heart at the short conversation and plan they had made. Lilith had had a dream that the only way for you to be safe was teaming up with Ava and it meant possibly never seeing you again.

"This is what you dreamed?" Ava demanded her former enemy. Lilith shook her head. 

"Not this exactly." Lilith murmured back, "It has to happen now. It's the only way, Ava." 

Ava squeezed her eyes shut as memories from a much happier time came into her memory before all she knew was heartache. 

"Ava, introduce yourself." Seven-year-old Ava looked up at her mother, "She looks sad." 

Ava nodded her small head-turning to the other child next to her, "Hi. I'm Ava." 

Ava felt happy when she managed to bring a smile to the girl beside her spending the next few hours talking. Ava hoped she would get to see you again, but life had other plans when the car accident happened. Ava would see when you were both jaded and cynical to the once innocent world they both knew. 

Grabbing Lilith's hand as Beatrice engaged the combat, Ava, with the Halo's power and the changes in Lilith, opened a portal. A single tear fell from Mary's eye as she slammed her boot into the armour of your combat outfit. 

"NO!" You screamed as the portal closed you from your friends, your team, your Sisters. You only caught sight of all them stalking towards your enemy.

The room, a garage of some kind, was modern with plants set in the glass wall with a well-used piano situated in front of it. The room was quiet, thankfully, as you hit the floor at a fast speed, still screaming. The thud echoed around the room as you laid on your side in the fetal position. 

"Please let the stitches be fine." You prayed, pressing your hand against your lower right quadrant. Your hand came back wet and sticky as you shouted in pain.

The black clothing hid the blood from your wounds, Adriel's blood and blood from your opened wound. You army crawled on your back towards a material, grabbing the dark sweater you screamed as you pressed against the wound. The pressure almost sending you unconscious.

"It's a killer song." 

Your breath hitched at the sound of a stranger, an American stranger too. You shuffled into the corner, unaware of the drops of blood you trailed.

"With Julie's voice, it will be great." Another voice spoke, faltering before speaking again, "Reggie? You okay, you've gone pale."

"Alex? Is that…is that blood?" Reggie, the guy that first spoke, whispered, looking at the drops leading to where the piano was situated. The two guys walked closer to where a small puddle of red liquid was smeared, "Yeah, that is definitely blood."

"Check on Ray and Carlos. I got Luke." Alex spoke, sharing a very concerned look with his bandmate. The two disappeared, unaware of the girl lightheaded intent on staying quiet.

With the room empty, you set about struggling to the bathroom for a mirror, the bruised skin barely shocking you. It came with being a Warrior Sister. Your hands shook as you washed the blood off, stilling at a door opening.

"Blood?" A feminine voice questioned. Peeking around the corner stood a Latina teenager with one of the boys from earlier, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes. Deadly. No pun intended." Reggie spoke, leading the exasperated teenager to where the piano was; congealing was the bright red fresh puddle of blood, "Your family is fine." 

"So is Flynn." Alex spoke, appearing with Luke beside him, "Luke was at the Orpheum.” 

It seemed your body decided to betray you with a jump in your heart rate and a flutter in your stomach. You winced, removing the pressure from the dark sweater shuddering as the black shirt pulled away from the wound.

"That is a lot." The newcomer, Luke, spoke, coming to a stop in front of the puddle frowning as he double-checked his guitars were safe. Julie's voice made the boys ashamed when she noticed something they didn't. 

"Did you happen to see there is a trail of blood as well?" Julie spoke, gesturing to the drops leading to the bathroom, "Whoever it is-"

Julie cut herself off with a scream as you lunged at her swinging a long sharp knife at her face; Julie stumbled, flailing as you glared at the terrified teenage girl. You didn't care who she was other than your mind was screaming danger. It was Julie being clumsy that was saving her life and you being weak.

"Oh my god! Julie!" Luke shouted at the sudden attack on his new friend and bandmate. All three were about to protect her, even though the sense of touch was still off and on.

You groaned, slumping to the ground once more, breathing heavily, and e/c eyes rolled back in your head, "Fuck." 

"She's a ninja!" Reggie yelped, ushering the group away from the girl in agony. His eyes taking in her youthful appearance and the dark black combat outfit. He didn't miss the bruises and cuts on her paling face.

"She almost killed me!" Julie shouted at the bassist, "In case you didn't see?! That knife came very close to slitting my throat!"

Tears filled your waterline as a feeling of being weak flooded your body in such a way you had never felt. You couldn't even protect yourself. The sense of despair taking most of your pain away as a sob broke through.

"She's crying!" The panic in the messy-haired boy voice broke through your tears. Tilting your head to see the very terrified teenagers, the despair was taken over by guilt.

"I'm sorry." You spoke, leaning up, "For…uh attacking you?” 

"Greatly appreciated." Julie sarcastically countered with a roll of her eyes, "Who are you?” 

"No, Julie, what are you?" Reggie inserted, pointing towards you with his index finger, whereas Alex was intently watching your movements.

"I'm in America. Wow." You chortled, collapsing into a fit of laughter, "Just when I thought life couldn't get more surprising! Oh, wait, I dropped out of a portal in the middle of a fight." 

"Can you explain why you're in our studio bleeding…oh, you're bleeding." Alex choked, bouncing on his feet as he frowned at your obvious pain. His eyes looking at the abandoned sweater you had been using against the wound, "If you promise not to attack can I get a first aid kit?"

You hesitantly nodded graciously, appreciating his kind offer, "Get a needle, thread and a lighter." 

Luke and Reggie reluctantly helped move you to the couch, with Luke grumbling about stains; he didn't like that a bleeding girl would be on his couch. You wheezed sitting on it, Luke's eyes widening as you started removing the tight black leather. 

"Uh, what are you doing?" Luke nervously questioned, scanning to find his friends. Julie had joined Alex in collecting your requirements, and Reggie was getting a bucket of water. 

"Removing my armour?" You spoke, sending him a weird glance wincing when the layer pulled the remaining stitches—a curse slipping out of your full lips. 

"Oh, that is disgusting." Luke grimaced, leaning away from the wound, still oozing blood and glancing at your chest with a deep blush. 

With the other three joining with the items, they watched as you cleaned the area with a wet towel revealing more of the gore. A sharp gasp when you shifted to check the entrance wound on your back, deeming it okay, you inspected the exit wound. 

"Okay, stitches tore only. That's good. I didn't want to deal with scrambling my organs." You chortled, removing your utility belt to fold and clench between your teeth. 

Doctoring the wound took your mind off your friends' survival, but the thud of a body brought you back to the here and now. Reggie, having seen you about to pierce your skin with the needle, had fainted. You raised one eyebrow before looking at the other three. 

"Uh, maybe look away?" You spoke, temporarily removing the belt from your mouth. Returning back to the task, you grunted as you stitched the wound as best as you could. By the time you finished, you were sweating.

"I fainted." Reggie groaned as he sat up, seeing that you were taking clothing from Julie and the first aid kit put aside, "I didn't think ghosts could faint." 

Julie and the Phantoms went silent as Reggie revealed their biggest secret to someone new. Julie groaned, putting her face in her hands while Alex shot the same annoyed and exasperated expression at the bassist. 

"Ghosts? Better than demons." You muttered with a sigh, "Can I use the shower?" 

Julie mutely nodded as she took in both the lack of response and your retort. Fifteen minutes later, a very different version came out of the bathroom. You were swamped in the flannel Luke had offered and the shorts from Julie, but you kept your thick combat boots. It was odd seeing you so feminine and free of blood. 

"Thanks." You smiled gratefully at the four teens, "So ghosts? Are all of you ghosts?"

"No. They died in 1995, I'm alive." Julie shrugged, taking a look at her newest best friends that had helped heal a part of her. Helped bring her back to music again, "I'm sure you may have heard of the band Julie and the Phantoms."

"No." You blankly replied, "Look, I was literally just at the Vatican an hour ago….which Beatrice partially blew up…"

Your words trailed off as the situation finally hit you full force because there was no way you were in Italy. Thinking back to the moments before you felt into a portal, you vaguely recalled Lilith meaning another dimension. 

"I need a phone." You demanded, quickly retrieving the one Julie offered to type in the phone number ingrained in your memory. One of the many things that Mother Superion had beaten into you literally.

"Andalusia, Spain's Authentic Castle Tours. How can I help you?" The voice asked, located in Spain at a desk in a business building near a deteriorating church. 

"Is Cardinal, I mean, a man named Duretti available?"

"I'm sorry, but we have no one in our employment by that name. Can I have a name, please?"

"Never mind." You gruffly replied, ending the call as you tossed the cellphone back to Julie, "I really did get transported. Stupid Vincent and Adriel."

A month was spent finding your bearings in a new dimension with people so far from your regular life it was astounding. Even though you had threatened Julie with a knife, at first, you had bonded with the girl. You were most peaceful when you were in the studio with Luke across strumming on his guitar to a new song. You had quickly become part of their friend group as time went on, and to be honest, you didn't really want to go back.

"What do you think?" Luke asked you, meeting your gaze, "Is it too soft?” 

"Aren't you the expert?" You smirked as he disappeared and popped up beside you on the couch with a smile. You weren't like typical girls Luke had known back in the '90s.

"Are you okay?" Luke questioned, turning his entire focus to give you a perfect view of his gorgeous eyes you could never distinguish between brown, green or even blue.

"Yeah. It's weird not having Mother Superion judging my moves or training with Beatrice, but it's okay." You half-smiled, recalling the people that had been in your life every day for years, "I miss them. They were my family."

Luke understood more than Julie ever would, and he knew more about your history than the others, "I get that." 

"I had a normal life. Parents that loved me and some friends I loved even at six years old. Memories of my mom are faded, but she got sick when I was five and passed a year later. My dad…he was struggling. His last good parental deed was putting me up for adoption." You admitted slouching to place your head on Luke's shoulder. His heart fluttered at the movement, "I never could make myself look him up. Hurt too much." 

"Yeah. I understand the feeling." Luke breathed through his nose, leaning his chocolate mess of hair on yours. The warmth flooding your systems.

The studio was empty other than you and Luke while Julie was at school. Reggie and Alex had left right after the living singer. You guess Reggie had found Ray at the site for his current photography appointment. Alex had a few places he could be at.

"Y/N!" The faint call of your voice in the distance startling you. The harsh yet feminine voice of one of the Sister Nuns bubbling hope in your stomach.

"Did you hear that?" You asked the ghostly guitarist, who frowned in confusion. Your eyes flickered around the studio frantically, "What the- "

"Y/N!" The voice grew louder in the room, with only it heard by you. Your body moved without thinking to the barn doors.

The doors opened with a gentle push as you followed the smoky wisp to the backyard and Luke behind you. Laughter sounded miles away from Julie and Reggie coming down the cement steps. Alex trailing behind only to halt watching your movements and Luke's questions falling on deaf ears.

"Come on! You said it would work!" The grit in the voice that had a life just as difficult as you in losing people. The smoky wisp flashed into a glowing portal as shiny as a frozen pond in the winter.

"I'm a little new at this, Ava! Opening dimensions isn't something that comes with a manual!"

"Lilith? Ava?" You breathed, reaching one hand out to the portal displaying a scene of two of your friends. Each wearing their combat outfits and grimaces as Lilith raised one hand up. 

"What in the hell is that?" Alex demanded, reaching to pull you back when your hand disappeared from the fingers to the wrist. Alex stumbled backwards at the sight of your hand being gone. 

"The portal," Luke interjected as you became mesmerized with the portal that had your life, your mission in life waiting. 

Glancing behind you, the four people that became just as important watched vigilantly as Ava and Lilith fell into the portal. The two girls quickly stood up in defensive movements scanning the surroundings.

Ava shoved Lilith off her to roll onto her stomach than her feet with a scowl. Ava's brown eyes clashed with your wide, shocked ones with an unmistakable look of relief. Ava's foot shoved the hand of Lilith's as her hand shoved Ava's calf. 

"Did that just…did she just-"Reggie struggled to make sense of the two girls appearing out of completely nowhere. His light eyes frantically moving between the people in the vicinity.

Striding up to the two girls, you punched Ava in the face with a hiss as a splotch of blood splattered your cheek.

"Ow!" Ava shouted, holding her cheek from the force of the hit with a frown.

"That's for sending me to another dimension!" You exclaimed before tugging her into a hug that left both of you uncomfortable. Her growing up in an orphanage and you in the Order had very little physical affection, "Vincent?" 

"Missing. Camila's been searching." Lilith interrupted, brushing the dirt from her clothing with a tentative smile. It was silent for a mere second before the formerly cold Nun lunged to hug you tight, "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Can someone please explain?" Alex questioned, flinching when Lilith made direct eye contact with the blonde drummer.

Her dark eyes staring the male down unflinching before her eyes found three other strangers standing around.

"Alex, this is Sister Lilith and Ava. We're teammates." You slowly admitted having kept some parts of the story from them.

They knew what you came from, a different world very different from theirs and worked for a secret organization. They didn't know much more than that as the Order's status as a secret.

"Teammates? Why are nuns involved in your group?" Luke asked, crossing his arms with furrowed eyebrows. Distrust sparkling in his hazel eyes for the first time since you first appeared in his life, and it hurt you.

"We're-” 

"Ava!" Lilith hissed, narrowing her eyes at the American girl hellbent on breaking all kinds of rules. Ava's scathing glare, in return antagonizing her further, "The only reason you know about the Order is because of the Halo."

"Because I would still be a dead formerly quadriplegic girl!" Ava snapped, glaring down the person that became a frenemy after the Vatican, "This thing in my back is the only reason I'm alive!" 

"I am so lost," Reggie mumbled under breath as the oddly dressed teenagers sparked into a rushed argument. His eyes caught Lilith's hand turning into a fist while Ava got all in the other girl's face.

Your eyes moved between the volatile duo that had brainstormed together to keep you safe. Without their secret plan, it was a wonder what Adriel would have had in mind with you. The memory of his fascination with your very being and the way it appeared he had somehow manipulated arrival to the Order. But how could he when he was trapped in a long-forgotten twenty-foot concrete tomb?

"Ava!" You commanded her full attention, "Stop. We have bigger things to worry about. Is there a plan to find Vincent?"

Both girls solemnly shook their heads in sync, "No."

"Let's get inside before Mr. Molina finds two strangers in his backyard." You ushered the two girls into the studio. Lilith scanned the building's interior, no doubt looking for threats as one would with the lives you had lived.

Ava was swift to take the kevlar upper body armour off her body, leaving a thin black long sleeve shirt. It was tossed onto the couch among the notebook you had been using for anything to do with your other life.

"What have I missed since Mary planted her heavy ass boot in my chest?" You demanded, recalling the painful feeling of Mary's kick. The tough girl didn't hold back in anything she did combat wise "How does she even walk in those cement traps?"

Julie and the guys found seats in the room around the three alien world individuals who spoke as if they were alone. They heard mentions of someone named Adriel and Areala with the odd mix of words they didn't comprehend.

"So we go back, and we kick his ass." You snapped, crossing your arms, "I didn't even get to use my new-"

"Are you forgetting he hit me, sending me a few feet in the air? How six of us, five being highly trained individuals, failed?" Lilith retorted, mirroring your stance, finding an ally in Ava's unstaggering support.

"They all threw daggers, Camilla unloaded her crossbow, Mary beating him with the shotguns and even shooting him? That barely left a dent! For fuck sakes, he took an arrow to the neck, and he still got up!" Ava completely snapped with a heated glare in her milk chocolate eyes with hints of dark chocolate.

"That goal wasn't to end him; it was just to kill seven minutes for Ava to recharge." Lilith uncharacteristically softened her tone. Her dark eyes lightened in both comfort and sympathy, "We almost didn't make out of the fight. Adriel brought his wraith demons-"

"Like the pussy he is." Ava scoffed, rolling her eyes at the look she earned from Lilith, "What! Just because you're a Nun doesn't mean I can't swear!"

"Question," Reggie spoke, raising his one hand in the air, receiving the Warriors' attention. She shrivelled under the glares of the Nun; your frown proceeded the sharp punch to Lilith's arm for her action.

"Don't be mean to him." You stepped closer to the band that had grown to be close with you despite the rough introduction. The arm of Luke's chair bumped your waist, knocking you off balance. Luke's warm hands settled on your hips to steady you.

"I only just got used to ghosts," Alex whispered to himself, pushing his hands through his hair. His expression solely of confliction and emotional agony.

"I'm sorry, but did he just say ghosts?" Lilith questioned, staring at the blonde-haired drummer, "Better question, why are you hanging around with them?"

"Because after I was so kindly shoved into another universe, they welcomed me in." 

"After you nearly slit my throat too." Julie inserted, climbing to her feet to station herself beside you. Her face stoic, staring down the two females opposite to you and her.

In a moment of unison, the dead boys all stood up to match Julie in her support. Luke's hand brushing against yours momentarily before his pinky wrapped around yours. Lilith and Ava didn't miss the small movement.

"Lilith, Ava, these are my friends. Julie and her band of ghost boys." You softly spoke, nodding towards the Puerto Rican teenager with a smile, "This is Luke, Reggie and Alex."

Alex lifted his hand shoved it into his jean jacket pocket with a happy smile that belied his anxiety and confusion. Reggie's flushed cheeks squished as he beamed at the new people while Luke was more cautious. 

"Ghosts?" Lilith questioned once more, with her stance becoming combative and distrusting. Her greying hair peeking out under her black combat veil, a testament to her time in the dimension where the Tarask took her.

"Relax. Lilith." Ava spoke, straightening up with her lips pursed together, but she refused to relax. The room had waves of tension from the people inhabiting the building at the moment, "We just came to grab you."

The residents all slightly stepped in front of you, Luke's one arm behind him as he kept his pinky intertwined with yours. While the whole story hadn't been revealed to them, they knew that whatever waited in your homeworld was much worse than a pesky Broadway wannabe ghost in vintage wear.

"I don't know the full story, but she is not returning with you. There's a reason why you sent her here." Luke passionately spoke, glancing at the two girls with ulterior motives to dropping in for a casual conversation.

Your finger squeezed the messy-haired guitarist's own finger before you stepped around the wall of four musicians. Your name whispered behind you as you stepped up to the Warrior Nuns in front of you. The room filled with tension.

"Lilith, unlike you and the other Nuns, I didn't choose this life. Neither did Ava. We both got handed a really shitty hand of cards that ultimately placed us in the path of the Order." Your hands reached out to grasp the older girl's hands.

Luke sent a look to his bandmates with a sick feeling sinking in his stomach as he anticipated your decision to leave. It physically ailed him as if it hadn't hit him before that this world wasn't the one you were from. Why wouldn't you want to get back to your own world with your family?

"-But you can't come back." Is the words Ava spoke that had Luke coming back to the present. A certain light feeling took over him.

"Not yet, at least." You murmured with a bittersweet smile placed on your pretty features. Despite ignoring it, Lilith and Ava had already known from the moment they saw your interactions with the band what the outcome would be.

This was your home. At least for now. Lilith couldn't blame you, not after what happened, and that was okay. It was safer with you here until they could figure out a plan about the havoc in their own world.

"If you want, you can stay here for the night." Julie offered with a small smile, "That way, you can catch up properly. My dad would be cool with the guys bunking in the basement." 

After the Orpheum, the boys had developed the capability to be seen when they wanted, and Ray was informed of certain parts. Ray knew much about them, but he wasn't privy to the tidbit that the guys were dead.

"We have to head back. You're completely sure you don't want to come with us? Things may go bad, and we won't be able to get you back. You'll be stuck." Lilith warned you with a faint smile upturning the corners of her lips.

"I'm not stuck. I think this is where I was always supposed to be, even if it's only temporary. In this life or the next."

"In this life or the next." Ava and Lilith echoed back before they opened the portal to your former world. The portal closed behind them, leaving you with a bittersweet feeling in your very soul.

A single tear trailed down the apple of your cheek as the life you once had closed, and who knew it you could return to that chapter. Calloused fingers brushed the tears off your cheeks before a pair of lips lingered on your forehead.

"You good?" Luke murmured against the warmth of your head. His heart ached for you because while his parents didn't know he was dead, he had the opportunity to visit them.

"I will be." You whispered, tiptoeing to press your lips against his soft pink lips. Luke sharply inhaled at the action before he melted into it.

Yeah, you would be okay.

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[upside-down-uni]

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

[yellowmagicalgirl]

13 with the Mary ship of your choice for the fake dating thing?

13. “I only say yes under one condition: I want a public proposal with the potential to be a viral sensation. Go big or go home.”

From Fake Dating Dialogue Prompts

FullCircle Arcadia is a random business name I generated using a generator tool. Is secretly a money-laundering business for whatever nefarious scheme Morgana is working on? If it is, then Shannon, Eli, Toby, Jim, and Mary aren’t aware of it.

CW: contains background homophobia

AO3

FFN

This was probably a bad idea, but it wasn’t like Shannon had any other options. Aja was Shannon’s closest friend, and she would probably be down to fake an engagement if it weren’t for the fact that she was happily married to her high school sweetheart. Sadly, Shannon wasn’t close to many of her other female friends anymore, what with her practically being married to her accounting job at FullCircle Arcadia. That was probably one of the reasons why her parents were breathing down her neck about settling down with this or that nice guy from church. Well, that and the fact that they refused to accept that their daughter was a lesbian. The coworkers in finance that she could almost call friends had listened to Shannon bemoan about her parents, but the others weren’t exactly good options. Eli was sweet, and Shannon was sure that if she explained her situation to him he would gladly help her. However, even though he was gay faking an engagement with him would give the wrong message to her parents. Toby and Jim had all the problems of Aja and Eli combined, since the two of them had started dating three years ago.

Outside of finance and Aja, Shannon could think of two people who might be sympathetic enough to Shannon’s plight. Claire had apparently been an actress back in high school, and the two of them had had friendly conversations before. However, Claire was kind of intimidating, half because of of how she dressed in skulls and spikes on her days off, and half because she had recently started working more closely with their boss, Mrs. le Fay. And, come to think of it, over the same amount of time Claire had been smiling less and scowling more and looking more and more exhausted, but that wasn’t a problem Shannon could solve. Plus, Claire was bi, and as much as Shannon wouldn’t mind her dating life to be a little more substantial than occasionally Facebook/Instagram stalking a cute coworker while in an incognito window, she didn’t want this engagement to turn into real feelings.

Which meant that really, Mary from marketing was Shannon’s only option.

“So,” Shannon said to her coworker. “Will you do it?”

“I only say yes under one condition,” Mary said, looking at her long acrylic nails and the way their indigo to orange ombre glimmered under the fluorescent lights. Shannon had always thought that long acrylics looked nice, but they weren’t practical, for typing or other things.

“And that condition is?”

Mary looked Shannon in the eyes. “I want a public proposal with the potential to be a viral sensation. Go big or go home.”

Shannon blinked. “What?”

“Listen, are you serious about faking this?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re serious enough that we’ll fake this to our coworkers?”

“Yes.” Well, personally Shannon was fine with maybe telling one or two of her coworkers that this was all fake, but she wanted this to be a secret from her parents. If they found out she was faking an engagement, then things would only get worse with them.

“Then if we do something big, then people are less likely to doubt us.”

Mary did have a point. “But what about you? What would you get out of it?”

“I’d go viral, duh.”

“Sure, but you’re sure going viral won’t, y’know, hurt your chances with guys?”

“Well then, good, finally. Heck, maybe it’d even help my chances with girls.”

Wait, what?

“I thought you were straight... weren’t you on-again off-again dating Hank from sales up until three months ago?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Some of us don’t exactly figure stuff out quickly.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Mary was gay. That meant that things could get messy for both of them.

Mary was Shannon’s only option.

“Okay,” Shannon said. “For the viral proposal, is it okay if the ring is fake?”

“Yeah, I’m not expecting a real diamond, but I do want something that looks fancy and expensive even though it won’t be.”

“Okay, then. What’s your ring size, and do you want me to propose or do you want to do it? Likewise, can I count on you if it doesn’t go viral?”

“Seven. Let’s brainstorm; I’m sure we can figure something out, and if we go with my idea then it would be my fault if it didn’t go viral. It will, though.”

[yashastrongarms]

Which of the other sisters do you think Beatrice would confide in about Ava? I mean, I doubt she would if she could avoid it, but the possibilities are so interesting. Supportive, positive Camila baffling Beatrice. Quiet, considers-it-inevitable-so-no-point-fighting-it Lilith. Sadly reminded of herself and Shannon Mary, insisting they make the most of the time they’re given.

Ooh good question

They each have their potential and I love them all.

Camila is the newest to the order, so there's less history there between her and Bea so that, along with how loving and instantly supportive she is would make her a strong candidate. Less pressure almost, and i think a lot about their hug in episode 7. Bea would feel safe.

Plus, Cam totally clocked them both in episode 8 and Bea would definitely remember that.

With Lilith, I kind of see them as being the closest pair in the group. Vaguely similar backgrounds, both hold themselves to high standards etc. I see them as best friends but I can also see Beatrice being more nervous about talking to her for those reasons, but it would also be such a heartwarming moment.

And then there's Mary, of all of the group she's the one who's going to understand Beatrice's situation the best. It also gives them a good chance to talk through some of the issues they had in series 1 ("I joined the church to save my eternal soul" "Oh is that what we're calling it?")

There's so much potential to be had with each of them, but if i had to choose for which I'd want for canon, I'd probably go with Camila.

For fics, especially AU's, I lean more to Lilith, purely bc they're usually best friends in the ones I have in mind

[depreshroom]

Analyzing Krel: Episode 4

I’m back, this took a lot longer than I wanted it to. It may be short but I feel like this was significant! So, here it is I guess.

At the beginning of the episode, they are interrogating Stuart when skeltegs fly into the ship. Krel immediately blames Aja by telling her that she was the one obsessed with sketleg fighting on akiridion-5. Granted, it was her fault but it still took him only all of two seconds to blame her. He was eager to say it, and to point out that she did something wrong. 

Side note: Aja said skelteg fighting was easy money...Aja gambled. Aja, you’re a royal, why did you need that money? More relevant question: Did you ever get in trouble for gambling ma’am?

Later, at school after leaving Stuart’s shop, Mary and Darci inform Aja that she is popular now for kicking Steve in the face. Poor Krel is simply ignored and left behind with his boombox which he had brought to school. During the day, the skeltegs invade the school and as they are running, this scene happens between Krel, Aja, Darci, and at the end Shannon.

Krel: “Just remember sister, you were the one who brought them here.”

Darci: “Aja, you really did this?”

Krel: “Finally, you made a mistake!” ~~Senor Uhl cancels school over the announcements~~

Darci: “Yes! Aja you just saved my butt, I was gonna fail that quiz!”

Shannon: “Oh man! She even makes infestations look cool.”

Krel: “You literally cannot lose.”

 “Just remember sister, you were the one who brought them here.”

First of all, it seems significant that Krel once again reminds Aja that this is her fault. She did this, everything going wrong right now (within the school) is because of her. He says that as if to prove a point, to put the spotlight on her.

This would simply seem like he’s just blaming her for fun, but then he says “Finally, you made a mistake!” 

So yes, he’s happy his sister made a mistake, but the thing about this line is not only that he’s happy but he said finally. He says it as if his sister is perfect all the time--he has been waiting for this, for the moment that his “perfect” sister showed a taste of imperfection. Nothing serious has happened yet, there haven’t been any big mistakes for any of them, so this conclusion that his sister is perfect would have to come from akiridion-5 where we once again talk about their parents. He has been set to a lower bar and belittled in comparison to Aja. He also sees himself that way as in his mind without Aja, he’s doomed. Or as he puts it, back in episode 2, “That’s why I’m not afraid. Because I have you.”  Another thing is that in the episode before this, Aja was able to use the mind reader and Krel wasn’t. He didn’t necessarily make a mistake, but he didn’t succeed like Aja and that was his field of expertise so it did leave him upset. 

What can be assumed by not only the line itself, but his excitement is that being taught to think, and thinking that his sister is better than him did take its toll on him. Seeing his happiness about this break into Aja’s nonexistent facade gives insight into his insecurities. It’s probably the more selfish side of him, but wanting Aja to mess up lets Krel believe that he isn’t a failure. 

Unfortunately, school gets canceled so the others instead cheer Aja on. In disappointment, frustration, and annoyance, Krel says “You literally cannot lose.”

So Krel is finally able to catch Aja in the act of making a mistake which leaves him ecstatic because it broke her---once again nonexistent--facade. That was only for him to quickly be slapped in the face when her mistake is actually praised. 

I feel like it might be important to acknowledge the fact that Aja never does act like she’s perfect, Krel built this illusion for himself and while it was likely that it was influenced by his parents the idea that she’s flawless is something that he has come to truly believe. If he believes that she’s faultless, and also views his parents on a higher level than him, then that leaves him at the bottom. 

Skipping all the way to the end, after they find out the boombox brought the skeltegs to the school, and they have fixed the infestations, Krel comes to apologize to Aja, and they reconcile. Then she asks about building a daxial array.

Aja: “Hey, how many akiridions does it take to build a daxial array?”

Krel: “It’s impossible.”

Aja: We exploded skeltegs with a music machine little brother. Nothing is impossible on this planet.”

Krel: “In that case, it will take two akiridions.”

There’s not much to point out about this, but I did want to talk about the fact that while I’m sure Aja’s optimism is somewhat helpful, Krel is the only one who’s really that good at technology. So when he says that “it’s impossible”, he’s simply referencing himself, and saying that he’s the one who can’t do it. In turn, Aja does an uno reverse by saying that it’s entirely possible and encourages him. She’s a good sister, and it’s likely that they both knew Aja would be more helpful in terms of blending keeping in mind her newfound popularity rather than technology. In a sense, she is simply letting Krel know she believes in him. After that he does admit that he does need help by saying that it will take “two akiridions”.

To sum it up, considering the idea that Krel’s family are the closest people to him in his life, and he has always seen himself as lesser in comparison, I would argue that has led him to have always felt like he’s the “flaw” in his family for lack of a better explanation. Aja is also a good older sister, and is willing to encourage her brother despite whatever argument they had before which is nice and brings out how good their relationship is! Finally, this took long and thank you for reading it! Have a nice day, night, or afternoon!

[faraway-wanderer]

QUEER YA READS happy pride month here’s a list of lots of queer YA books!!

-          The Henna Wars- Abida Jaigirdar When Nishat comes out to her parents, they say she can be anyone she wants—as long as she isn’t herself. Because Muslim girls aren’t lesbians. Nishat doesn’t want to hide who she is, but she also doesn’t want to lose her relationship with her family. And her life only gets harder once a childhood friend walks back into her life. Flávia is beautiful and charismatic and Nishat falls for her instantly. Amidst sabotage and school stress, their lives get more tangled—but Nishat can’t quite get rid of her crush on Flávia, and realizes there might be more to her than she realized

-          Red, White and Royal Blue- Casey Mcquinston   First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

-          You should see me in a crown- Leah Johnson Liz Lighty has always believed she's too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it's okay -- Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor.But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz's plans come crashing down . . . until she's reminded of her school's scholarship for prom king and queen

-          Tell me How you Really Feel- Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win.Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana.There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since.

-          Like a love story- Abdi Nazemian It's 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

-          I Wish You All the Best- Mason Deaver At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.

-          The Falling in Love Montage- Ciara Smyth Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited. So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out. But after a chance encounter at an end-of-term house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

-          The Fascinators- Andrew Eliopulos Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school's magic club—to see him through to graduation.But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs.

-          The Dark Tide- Alicia Jaskina The Wicked Deep meets A Curse So Dark and Lonely in this gripping, dark fairy-tale fantasy about two girls who must choose between saving themselves, each other, or their sinking island city

-          Summer of Salt – Katrina Leno Georgina Fernweh waits with growing impatience for the tingle of magic in her fingers—magic that has been passed down through every woman in her family. Her twin sister, Mary, already shows an ability to defy gravity. But with their eighteenth birthday looming at the end of this summer, Georgina fears her gift will never come.

-          Sawkill Girls- Claire Legrand Marion: the new girl. Awkward and plain, steady and dependable. Weighed down by tragedy and hungry for love she’s sure she’ll never find. Zoey: the pariah. Luckless and lonely, hurting but hiding it. Aching with grief and dreaming of vanished girls. Maybe she’s broken—or maybe everyone else is. Val: the queen bee. Gorgeous and privileged, ruthless and regal. Words like silk and eyes like knives, a heart made of secrets and a mouth full of lies.

-          The Priory of the Orange Tree- Samantha Shannon A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens. The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

-          I was Born for this- Alice Oseman For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

-          Summer Bird Blue  Akemi Dawn Bowman- Bowman’s sophomore novel follows Rumi, a young musician plagued with grief and survivor’s guilt after her younger sister is killed in a car crash. Her mother sends her to liver with her aunt in Hawaii, and is also now mourning the loss of the music she would create with her sister and is unable to recapture her passion. As she navigates her loss, and feelings of abandonment from her mother, Rumi is also starting new relationships with neighbors, one a cute, easygoing surfer boy, and the other a irascible 80-year-old crankypants, while also becoming comfortable with her aromantic and asexual feelings.An immersive aromantic, asexual journey through grief and understanding.

-          Felix Ever after- Kacen Callender   a novel about a transgender teen grappling with identity and self-discovery while falling in love for the first time.

-          The Stars and The Blackness Between Them - Junauda Petrus Audre and Mabel, Black girls who find romance just in time for everything to fall even further apart.

-          By any means necessary- Candice Montgomery By Any Means Neccesary dives into the intersection of race and sexuality through the lens of its main character, Torrey, a gay Black college student.

-          Her Royal Highness -Rachel Hawkins- When Millie Quint discovers her best friend-turned-girlfriend has been kissing someone else, she decides to get as far away from her as possible – by going to boarding school on the opposite side of the globe. The only issue? Millie’s new roomate is the actual princess of Scotland.

-          Tash Hearts Tolstoy - Kathryn Omsbee, Natasha Zelenka (Tash), is a serious fangirl of Leo Tolstoy and a rising YouTube star with her webseries Unhappy Families, a modern-day adaptation of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, and Vlog, Tea with Tash. When a famous vlogger gives a shout out to the series, it goes viral. Now she, along with the cast and crew, are finding what it means to be a hit sensation and are managing the adoration, and the trolls, coming their way. Tash, a romantic asexual, has had a long time crush on the hit vlogger star Thom, who, as her online popular grows, so does Thom’s attention. Amidst the fame and romance, Tash is also dealing with her older sister creating distance, her parents announcing a new sibling on the way, college applications, the impending end of the series, and the big “What’s next.”An asexual romantic comedy coming of age.

-          Full Disclosure- Camryn Garratt Camryn Garrett’s debut novel follows a Black, HIV-positive teen as she explores her first romantic relationship. There are few books that discuss what it’s like to live with HIV, especially those that are light, relatable, and told through the lens of a young Black girl.

-          The Black Flamingo- Dean Atta Atta pens a coming-of-age story about a boy accepting his identity as a mixed-race gay teen, but then finds a place where he belongs as a drag artist named The Black Flamingo.

-          Juniper Leaves- Jaz Joyner   Kinky-haired  Juniper Bray used to believe in magic, until she lost her best friend: her grandmother. Now this 15-year-old shy girl is headed to her father's research trip on a farm hundreds of miles away, with a family she barely knows and the opposite of a best friend, her new arch nemesis, Bree Mckinney. As if she wasn't miserable enough. Little does she know the next few months Juniper will discover magical powers she never knew she had, get a crush on a girl she never knew she'd like and well, quite frankly, save the world.

-          Crier’s War - Nina Varela ‘In a world where humans are dominated by superior Automae, one human girl called Ayla takes the role of handmaiden to the Automae Lady Crier in order to help the human rebellion. But to Ayla’s horror, she finds herself falling for Crier.’

-          Queen of Coin and Whispers  Helen Corcoran -When a teenage queen inherits her uncle’s bankrupt kingdom, she brings with her a new spymaster – a girl who only accepted the role to avenge her murdered father. But faced with enemies at every turn, the two learn to rely on no one but each other . . . though it may bring their downfall.

-          Huntress- Malinda Lo – Ill fortune has befallen the land, and two girls have been tasked with the mission of setting things right. As Kaede and Taisin journey to the city of the Fairy Queen, adventure and romance awaits.

-          This Song Is (Not) for You - Laura Nowlin- This is not your usual love triangle. Ramona has been in love with her best friend and bandmate Sam for a long time, Sam has also been in love Ramona. When Tom joins the band, he completes them. Now Ramona is starting to have feelings for Tom, and those feelings are reciprocated. Tom is a romantic asexual, whose asexuality is fully explored

-          Seven Tears at High Tide-  C.B. Lee – After Kevin Luong drops, yup, seven tears into the sea, he ends up rescuing a boy from the waters. It’s love at first sight for Morgan who, unknown to Kevin, is a Selkie.

-          Loveless -Alice Oseman- (out on the 9th July!!) Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day.As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia’s ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her ‘teenage dream’ is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her – asexual, aromantic – Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.

-          The Last Beginning- Lauren James-  (you probably need to read the next together first which I HIGHLY recommend) Sixteen years ago, after a scandal that rocked the world, teenagers Katherine and Matthew vanished without a trace. Now Clove Sutcliffe is determined to find her long lost relatives.But where do you start looking for a couple who seem to have been reincarnated at every key moment in history? Who were Kate and Matt? Why were they born again and again? And who is the mysterious Ella, who keeps appearing at every turn in Clove's investigation? For Clove, there is a mystery to solve in the past and a love to find in the future, and failure could cost the world everything.