#marcus is almost as fucked up as neil is

[blackynsupremacy]

BEING NEIL FAK’S

GIRLFRIEND

HEADCANONS

pairing: neil fak x blackfem!reader

fandom: the bear (2022—)

i feel like no one really writes for fak and i love him as a character, so why not?

summary: neil fak has a girlfriend, but the guys think he’s bullshitting until she shows up for the opening night of the bear.

contains: lots of words, fluff, richie being richie, cursing, two people who love each other, hating ass motherfuckers, insecurity, fear of rejection.

• it was 2 weeks before the bear’s grand opening.

• neil, carmen, richie, and marcus were all having a smoke break outside in the back just kicking it.

• the guys were talking about various topics until carmy started asking for relationship advice.

• of course richie and marcus are putting in their two cents until they hear….

• “to be honest my girlfriend and i wouldn’t even have to go through that shit. we’d just talk it out and stuff our face afterwards! you and claire bear should do the same.”

• there was a deafening silence from the other men because that came from…fak. neil fak!

• what the guys didn’t know was that neil fak has been in an relationship with you for almost 2 months now. he’s been keeping it under wraps because he knew the guys would shit on him for it, but he had to come clean eventually. you always raved about him to your friends because you’re proud of the adorable, loyal, hilarious neil fak, so why shouldn’t he show the same energy?

• he was still a bit in denial that a woman is actually…attracted to him.

• marcus is like “whoa whoa whoa. hold the fuck up. fak…you got a girl?” he genuinely questioned. now, he was curious!

• carmen was confused as well, but he shrugged it off tbh. as long as fak was happy with someone he genuinely connected with.

• richie doesn’t hesitate to think it’s straight up bullshit. fak can’t talk to a woman without crashing out or making a bumbling fool out of himself. let alone being in a relationship!

• ouch! harsh, richie. fak inwardly cringed because he genuinely thought the same thing. he never really felt like he was good enough for that type of thing, but that sinking feeling disappeared at the thought of you when marcus asked how’d you guys met and got together.

• neil could recount that day a million times if he had to.

• you were living it up in your new apartment until your damn refrigerator broke. you didn’t want to go through the hassle of ordering a whole new one, so before doing that you decided to have someone to fix it.

• the only person you ever make an interaction with is your best friend, sydney adamu. you’ve been hyping her up as she goes through the trials and tribulations of rebranding the former restaurant known as “the original beef” to a new type of place.

• you called her up and explained your dilemma.

• “hey, syd. i got a stupid question.”

• “there are no stupid questions, (n/n).”

• you both chuckle at your inside joke, before informing her about the broken refrigerator and asking if she knew anyone who could fix it without charging an arm and a leg.

• “i might know a guy…he’s a bit of a character, but he’s got a heart of fucking gold and he mainly gets the job done. his name is neil fak, but we just call him fak at the restaurant. i’ll see if i can get him to come by tomorrow to look at it. if not, i’ll beat the shit out of him by denying my best friend’s broken fridge.”

• syd’s dry and chaotic humor never fails to make light of the shittiest situation. you quickly agreed because there’s no way you’re gonna let your food rot.

• the next morning, syd sent you a text that fak has accepted the job. you silently cheered and replied by sending her a time and your address to pass on the message.

• fak had been approached by sydney for a side job in the city. he accepted without any question because he could use the extra cash! he told sydney he could go over to your place asap once he knows the time and place. sydney did just that before he gathered all of the necessary equipment before making his way towards your home.

• he went up the stoop and pressed on the doorbell and waited about 10 seconds before he was beheld a vision. a vision with the most alluring, brown eyes and deep bronze toned skin. your natural hair was in the style you desired to be and it looked amazing! not to mention your inviting smile and melodious voice when you introduced yourself.

• “hey! you must be neil fak, right? i’m f/n l/n, i’m a friend of sydney’s.”

• you held out your hand for him to shake. to say that neil was nervous was an understatement. he stammered a bit before getting himself together, giving you an introduction of himself and shaking your hand. something occurred as you two touched hands. fuck, fuck, fuck! he thought as that touch alone made him feel— warm, tingly, safe? but what had him stressed was that his hands tend to get sweaty as shit when he’s nervous.

• “a-ah, y-yeah! i’m neil fak. just call me fak! um, so, uh, you have a broken fridge. let me say this if my fridge ever broke down like that, i personally think that i would fucking explode.”

• you stood there in silence for a millisecond before you burst out in laughter. fak took the words out of her mouth. you couldn’t deny that it was such a huge inconvenience especially to your love of snacks. “i know that’s right! you’re real for that. sydney has told me some good things about you, neil-er, fak. my bad! but seriously— i believe her when she said you’re a trip, but good people. you’re hilarious! ah, damn, i’m rambling. please come inside.” you stepped back to let him in and lead him to the issue in the kitchen.

• you couldn’t help, but catch a pleasant vibe from the mustached man that was rumbling through the inside and back of your refrigerator. as he was working, you guys just conversed as if you two weren’t strangers. you just clicked instantly!

• to some, fak may have looked like a sleaze with his loud voice, numerous tattoos, interesting fashion choices, short stature, and his bushy stache, but his qualities as a person overshadowed all of those things. deep down he’s caring, sensitive, outgoing, and sometimes he has his moments, but who doesn’t? he also wasn’t making any type of insensitive remarks or jokes (ifykwim).

• once he successfully fixed the fridge, you were so hyped that you gave that man a hug and an enthusiastic handshake thanking him for his help. you asked how much he charged and what payment method worked for him.

• he didn’t want to charge you that much or at all because your constant laughter at his stand up material was filling his heart more than his pocket. he really wanted your number, but he didn’t just want to ask for that without looking stupid, so he suggested apple pay and gave you a discount! smooth move, fak.

•you put your number in his phone, sent him the payment, and let him know that you were saving it because you would like to see him again more often whether it’d be for his services or not, so in a way you urged him to keep yours saved in his phone also.

• fak was crashing out on the inside. did you just say that you want to see him? more often? whether he’s fixing something or not?

•he kept his cool, gathered his equipment, and went on home. from that moment fak felt he found someone and someone found him. not just fixing things or cracking jokes, but for genuine company.

• from that day on, you and fak have been texting each other non-stop. checking in, sending memes, having deep conversations about the most insane topics, and laughing out loud late at night on the phone. sometimes he would come over to play a card game, watch a movie, or just kick it with some good food. you’ve never realized how much in common you and fak share. it was just the chemistry that drawn you too closer.

• ya’ll have been talking for about 3 weeks now and you can’t help but to admit that you care for neil…so much! you two are totally different people and to some, you’re built like you’re out of fak’s league. well, fuck whoever says that! looks doesn’t define who you want to spend your time with. everyone’s got their beauty. you could give 2 fucks if people talked about your connection with neil. you were just wondering if he felt the same.

• you invited him to your place to watch a jim carrey double feature of the mask and ace ventura: pet detective. you and fak have always agreed that jim carrey is a comedic genius.

• as you both sit on your couch and watch the credits roll, fak announces that he’ll leave, so that you can get some rest. you can’t sleep knowing you got these feelings and there’s this opportunity right in front of you. you hold on to his hand before he could take another step out of the door. your eyes not pulling from his. he raises his eyebrows as his pupils glint with expectancy, yet worry. he asks you if everything is okay and you swallow before you make your declaration.

• “fak…i need to ask you something. what do you think of me? do you think of me as just a friend? someone to kick it with? or someone to listen to your jokes, fears, hopes, and insecurities? am i someone that you would be proud of the way i’m proud of you? do you see more than just what’s on the outside?” you squeezed his hand.

• you paused to take a breath before you finish.

• “i don’t care what people say about our connection. i need to know because i can’t fucking take it anymore. neil fak, do you care about me the way i care about you?”

• neil was frozen. he absorbed every single syllable that came out of mouth. he has always had those same exact thoughts whether he’s helping to fix an appliance or you two are out trying a new restaurant that one of you recommended. fak thought he was too much of a chickenshit to even cross that line with you. he wanted so badly to express that you mean everything to him. you’re a fucking goddess to him and he’s just…fak. he can’t help, but get a little envious when richie, nat, and carmen had their respective partners while he was although happy for his friends, he was the 7th wheel.

•he’s calmer. he tries to see things with more of an open mind. hell, because of you he’s got a skincare routine! he feels ♾️ % with you if that makes sense. you don’t try to change him because you don’t need nor want to. you just want neil. that loveable person who doesn’t judge you. not just fak the comedian or the handyman.

• f/n…you’re so, so much more than that and i’m so fucking sorry that i didn’t say any of this sooner because i’ve been feeling like this ever since i’ve fixed that refrigerator. i want you to be happy and i want you to laugh a lot. i’ve never really been into this kind of thing before, so i don’t know what exactly i’ll be able to do for you, but i’ll always be by your side…if-if you want me to—mmph!”

•that was all you needed to hear before you pulled him for a kiss. it took him a moment to melt into it, so you started it off gentle and sweet as you wanted to take this relationship one step at a time, so you and neil would always ride the same wave together.

• after fak finishes retelling his friends how you guys came to be. they started bombarding him with all sorts of questions.

• “is she hot?” “what’s her name again?” “what does she do for a living?” “ have you guys fucked?” “do you have a pic of her?”

• fak was overwhelmed trying to answer each question except that fourth one which earned richie a whack to the head by carmen for asking some personal shit like that. “have some fucking class, will you?”

• fak refused to show any pictures you two share together. it was definitely not because he thought you were unattractive. fuck, no! you’re the most gorgeous woman he’s ever had the pleasure of breathing the same air with. like he thought before, the guys (especially richie) would think he’s got the pictures of the internet or some shit. he had a way better idea than that: he was going to invite you to opening night to watch him work and make these fuckers eat their words. he told them to watch for the girl in the red dress and the name for the table is f/n.

• 2 weeks til open has passed and the bear is now ready to welcome the community with open arms.

•everyone was shitting bricks, but they’ve worked their asses off for this vision and they can’t pussy out now.

• fak had tingles from head to toe.

• you and him usually had casual outings, so it would be the first time you saw him in his brown suit and you in that red dress you ordered from fashion nova for this event. it looked good on the model of the pic you sent, but fak’s round face flushed with red envisioning the clothing on you.

• the doors flipped open and the patrons for the first night of many are greeted by fak or richie then escorted to their tables as their meals are being meticulously prepared.

• richie’s eyes are perusing around the place before they stop on a feminine silhouette and— holy fucking shit. who is she?

• the red satin accentuated her body. highlighting every bump and curve. the dress had spaghetti straps and was low-cut, exposing the shimmering, melanated skin of her arms and chest. her hair was curled and styled to perfection as the amber hue in her pupils are made noticeable by the violet eyeshadow that was applied on the lid as well as her full lips were painted like a red candied apple.

• goddamn, she was like a fucking…real life jessica rabbit, but hotter. if it wasn’t for whoever the lucky bastard is with her, eva would’ve had a new stepmom a-fucking-sap!

• his trance is broken from a female voice. “excuse me, i have a reservation under the name, f/n. my boyfriend works here actually. i think i see him right over there!”

• cue the record scratching. richie may forget alot of things, but he never forgot when fak told him and the guys about this mysterious girlfriend of his named…holy fuck!

• the girl in the red dress. f/n. it’s you! you’re the one who stole neil fak’s heart. richie was feeling like the biggest idiot in the universe as he saw fak catch your glimpse from across the room before excusing himself from a table and power walking in your direction to take you into a loving embrace before you plant your ruby lips on his mustached ones.

• you just couldn’t help yourself! you know he’s at work, but he looks so cute and professional in his brown suit and slicked back low ponytail. he’s also wearing that new cologne you randomly gifted him and now you really don’t want to leave his side. your man, your man, your man.

• neil took it upon himself to escort and seat you at your table. he enthusiastically explains tonight’s menu with such confidence and passion as you peer lovingly at him through your lashes with a palm under your chin. if it were physically possible, you would have literal hearts in your eyes.

• don’t you just love it when your partner is in their element? he was made for this and you were so proud.

• fak excuses himself back to the kitchen to find richie already crashing out to carmy and marcus.

• “guys! it’s fak’s girlfriend. she’s fucking real…and hot as fuck! look out there at table 9, the broad in the red dress. that’s all fucking fak!”

• fak lets out an exclamation for richie to cool that shit down, but deep down he was eating it up as carmy and marcus peered out to see the hype at table 9 and what they saw had them gagged.

• marcus’ jaw dropped and his heart thumped at the sight of you. “oh…”

• carmy’s eyes looked upon you, his eyebrows raised as his cheeks fluttered with red, finishing marcus’ sentence, “shit.”

• he already felt bad considering the fact that he has a girlfriend. (not for long after tonight)

• neil grinned as the guys gave their envious, but sincere congratulations to him before they got too distracted to get back to work.

• neil fak was indeed blessed as he waved at the woman in red at table 9. his abdomen rumbled with butterflies when you waved back and blew a good luck kiss in his direction.

• yes, you were all fak, but fak was all you too.

[miley1442111]

back to chicago part 2- c.berzatto

a/n: part 2!!! i imagined a fem reader and it's mentioned quite a few times but as usual, imagine what you like. SET AFTER SEASON 2

summary: a double date with your boyfriend at the Bear can only go well, right?

pairings: carmenberzatto x femreader (complicated relationship), platonicthe bear x reader, romantic oc x reader

warnings: general angst, mentions of mikeys death, breaking up, bad family relationships, etc.

PART 1

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You

Dinner was delicious. The conversation was good and you had almost pushed the drama of earlier out of your head. You’d stayed till close to continue the talking and only now you were packing up. 

“Bug!” Richie called after you as you put on your coat. “You guys wanna have a look at the kitchen?”

John and Emilia nodded and you obliged them as Adrian sighed, squeezing your hand with his own. 

“Sounds good Rich,” You agreed and Adrian helped you remove your coat, then put a hand around your waist, holding you close. 

“Why do I have a feeling this will end in tears?” Adrian whispered and you shrugged.

“Nothing we can do about it now.”

You got the tour of the kitchen and truly, it was impressive. It was beautiful and clean, and you got to see everyone else. Marcus, Tina, Ebraheim, Neil, and Sweeps. You met Sydney, she seemed nice but reserved. 

“This is your boy?” Tina smirked and you nodded. “He’s pretty.” 

Adrian chuckled and smiled at her, “Thank you.”

Then it came to Carmy. He smiled at you as your friends introduced themselves, then wrapped you up in a ‘bear’ hug. It shocked you, yet you reciprocated all the same. 

“We have some catching up to do,” he said once you pulled away. “You guys are welcome back here anytime.” 

You stared at Carmen, his arm around your waist, making this choice for you. Richie led John and Emilia through the rest of the kitchen, out of earshot from your conversation.

“I should really go back with Adrian, I’m tired-” You started but Carmen cut you off. 

“It’ll only be a little while, you should stay,” He smirked as Adrian’s jaw ticked. 

“Yeah, you should,” Adrian said, ‘challenging’ Carmen. You rolled your eyes. 

“Carmen, if you only plan on comparing dicks with my boyfriend right now, count me the fuck out. You said it yourself, we never dated. Now, if you’d genuinely like to catch up with me I’d be happy to get coffee tomorrow, but right now- I’m fucking tired. Goodnight Carmen.” 

Carmen looked down, clearly embarrassed. “Coffee tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I’ll come by at 10. Goodnight,” You left his hold on your waist and grabbed Adrian’s hand, stalking out of the restaurant.  

“Well he’s a delight,” Adrian sighed, squeezing your hand. 

“Yeah,” you sighed. 

“I don’t want you to go see him tomorrow,” Adrian admitted, pulling you aside. You chuckled, thinking he was joking. He was never one to be possessive in any way or ask you not to wear or do things. His glaze hardened and your laughter died down. 

“You’re serious?”

“Yes I’m serious! He’s a dick! You don’t owe him anything!” He whined. 

“He’s practically family,” You said matter-of-factly and dropped his hand. 

“Oh and look at how great the rest of your family is!” He snarked, then his face dropped as you felt the stab of deep hurt he’d just caused. “Baby, I-I didn’t mean it like that-”

“Fuck you. We’re done.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Carmen 

I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t. Not when I knew I was seeing you the next day. I had gotten to the Bear nice and early to do all my lunchtime prep so if our coffee dat- thing went overtime I wouldn’t be chewed out by Richie.

“Cousin!” Richie shouted. 

“What?!” I shouted back, sweat coating my palms as I wrote down recipes and anticipated your arrival. 

“Bugs here! Come on!” 

It was 10:02. You were technically 2 minutes late. I got up and out of my office, grabbed my coat and sped to the front of the restaurant, almost tripping myself in the process. And there you stood. Angelic as ever. I had made an effort with my appearance that day, thank god. A cream sweater I’d bought in New York, dark jeans I knew you’d appreciate since you knew about jeans, and I’d washed my hair this morning and put in some products Sugar had gotten me for Christmas, though I’d already sweated it out by 10:02.

“Hey,” I smiled. 

“Hey,” You sighed, clearly more sombre than I was hoping. 

This was going to be difficult. “You alright?” I asked as we walked outside. 

“Great,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your words. “Wonderful even.”

“What happened?” He asked, trying to hold back from the question that wanted to fall out of his mouth so badly. 

“It doesn’t matter,” you laughed, but it was humourless. 

“Doesn’t have anything to do with that guy then?” I had asked and you had glared at me. I sent my cheeky smile to the floor and held up my hands in surrender. “Just askin’.”

“Yeah, don’t,” We both laughed that time. It felt good. It felt normal. Everything felt right for the first time in years. 

“Seriously, what is his deal?”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You

“You mean my boyfriend?” you smirked, not telling him you’d broken up. It was quite the rash decision, something you weren’t used to. 

“Yeah,” he shrugged. 

“Well, he’s an accountant, we met at a jazz club a few years ago,” you explained. 

“Anything else?”

“He’s nice?” you smiled. “He’s reliable.”

“Oh, so you don’t like him,” Carmen smirked and you scoffed. 

“Fuck off,” you jested. “It’s complicated.” 

“How? The dude is obsessed with you,” he shrugged. “What makes that complicated?”

“The fact that I broke up with him last night,” You admitted, rolling your eyes when Carmen looked at you with a wide-eyed expression. “Do not flatter yourself Carmen. He was being shitty.” 

“That’s not what I was saying,” Carmen half-lied. “I just… I’m surprised.”

“I’ll probably go back later and apologise, and we’ll kiss and make up as usual.”

“This happens regularly?”

“No,” you admitted. “But he does do shitty things sometimes, then apologises.”

“Shitty like what?”

“Stuff like…” you didn’t want to tell him. “Look it doesn’t matter, all that matters is us right now,” You smiled at him. “Tell me about the Bear.”

“That shithole?” he joked and it finally made you laugh. 

“Yes, that shithole.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After two hours of catching up with Carmy, you started walking him back to the Bear. 

“When are you heading back to New York?” he asked.

“Soon, I guess? I do have clients to get back to but… I don’t know. I love Chicago.”

“You should stick around,” Carmy smiled. “You brighten up the place.”

“I don’t know if my back will survive staying at hotels for too much longer,” you chuckled. 

“Stay at mine,” he offered immediately. 

“You’re sure?” You asked, shocked at his level of generosity.

“Of course. I missed you. I’ve always missed you.” 

You stared at him for a moment, standing outside of the Bear. You weren’t used to this level of emotion from him. “I missed you too, Bear.”

He pulled you into a quick hug and you kissed his cheek, then walked on, much more to think about than before. 

[senorabond]

Rumor Has It: Chapter 7 Peña x f!reader x Pike

Pairings: Javier Peña x f!reader; Marcus Pike x f!reader; future Peña x f!reader x Pike

Chapter 7 Summary: The case is progressing more quickly than expected, presenting the first opportunity to set the bait for the narcos. When plans for the undercover operation go awry, you have to think and act fast. Meanwhile, whatever is going on between you and Javi gets kicked into high gear.

Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI), Explicit sexual content, additional warnings may be added for future chapters

Chapter Warnings: no use of y/n, previous relationship (Marcus x f!Reader), boss!Marcus, slowburn, workplace romance, ohh the yearning, fake relationship, protective!Javi, Dom/sub dynamic, precisely (1) spank, almost caught, please just fuck already

Reader/Character notes: Reader is fem!afab; No mention of Reader’s body size, shape, composition, or skin color.

Words: 8k

Author’s Note:  I am SO happy to finally post this! I’ve been sick with back-to-back viruses ever since November, so I’ve been slowly chipping away at this chapter. It’s super plotty and a lil smutty, but I had to kick Javi and Reader in the ass to move this shit along somehow. I have so many thots and ideas for these two, especially when we get to see more of Marcus. As always, a HUGE thank you to my dear, sweet, lovely beta @kilamonster, who lets me torture her endlessly with all the dirty things that come to mind and for correcting my atrocious Spanish. 💋💜

Masterlist || Previous Chapter

The Next Morning   Washington, D.C.

There’s a knock at Marcus’ office door and a grinning man pokes his head inside. He’s got a slight build, and sandy hair that falls across his forehead in natural waves. You had always told Marcus this agent reminded you of that weaselly guy in Dirty Dancing, Neil, and he can certainly see it now. Though the resemblance was probably more down to personality than looks.

"Sir, you wanted to see me?" The man asks, waiting for permission to enter. 

"Yeah, Wilkins, come in – and shut the door.” Wilkins has to halt midway to turn around and close the door and is looking a bit less confident now as he sits down in the chair across from Pike.

Pike fixes the smaller man with a neutral expression. He'll give Wilkins a chance to be honest and forthright, but he’s not going to beat around the bush. 

"Did you receive a call from a DEA agent about helping them with a potential art money laundering case?" 

Wilkins' eyes grow wide for a second, and he stumbles a bit over his next words. "Uh, I'm not sure, maybe?"

"Maybe?" The fewer words Marcus gives Wilkins to work with, the more he'll have to come up with himself, and the less he’ll be able to turn Marcus’ words back around on him – a common interrogation technique.

"I remember a call from somebody at the DEA, but I don't think I recall the specifics." Wilkins fidgets with his tie.

Marcus keeps his face neutral, but laces his fingers together on his desk and leans forward, closing the space between them. "What do you recall?" 

"He might have mentioned some drug dealers." Wilkins, a man with an ego the size of Nationals Park, has already been reduced to a little boy getting in trouble at school. 

"Being that he's DEA, that would make sense." Pike says blandly, waiting for Wilkins to continue. 

"Yeah. And... there might have been some talk about art." Wilkins’ voice is small, tentative. He knows he’s been caught out, and it’s no small matter.

"That's interesting. And why do you think this DEA agent called us – the FBI art squad – about art?" 

Wilkins doesn't say anything in response. He knows there's nothing else he could say in his defense at this point. 

"Do you know who that DEA agent was, Wilkins?" 

Wilkins juts his chin out defiantly. "No, Sir."

"You might, if you'd bothered to get his name." Wilkins has grown sullen, already tired of the tongue lashing. 

Pike has no patience for this guy’s attitude. Normally, Marcus wouldn’t draw out disciplinary issues like this, on the rare occasions he has them with his crew. But this guy has pissed him off too many times. 

"That was Special Agent Javier Peña. You might have heard of him, made the news awhile back." Marcus leans back in his chair, watches Wilkins’ petulant shrug.

"He put away Pablo Escobar and the Cali Cartel, remember them?" Wilkins doesn’t respond, but there’s recognition in his eyes. "So when Javier fucking Peña calls to ask for help, that's probably when you should tell your superior.” 

Marcus pauses, waiting for Wilkins to say something, anything, but he just sits there.

“Do you agree?" Marcus prompts, each word punctuated.

"Yes, Sir." The man replies, his tone clipped. 

"Glad to hear it." 

"Is that all?" Wilkins stands, and Marcus fights the urge to stand as well. But there’s power in showing you’re confident enough to not rely on being physically overbearing. 

"No, I'll tell you when that's all. There have been some rumors floating around the office for a while now.” Finally, what Marcus has wanted to confront Wilkins about for months. 

“I tried to ignore them, thinking it was just some office gossip, but then one of our best liaisons at Customs fast-tracked a transfer.” Marcus has to take a breath, the lead ball in his stomach growing heavy. “Some of that office gossip was about her. Know anything about that, Wilkins?"

"No, Sir." Wilkins shifts from foot to foot, glancing around the office nervously. Marcus lets him squirm for a bit longer. 

"That's good. Because if you did know something about who was spreading those harmful rumors – rumors that affect the lives and careers of federal agents who outperform you on any given day – we’d be having a very different conversation." 

Wilkins stands rigid, eyes wide.

"That's all." Marcus turns back to his computer and without giving Wilkins another glance. 

______________________________________________________________

That Afternoon Texas

The briefing went off without a hitch. You could feel Javier's smile on you from the other side of the briefing room while you talked through each of the slides. Your stomach was in your throat, but Javier's presence gave you the bit of confidence you needed every time you glanced his way. 

The other agents ask questions you and Javi had anticipated and discussed thoroughly the day before, and even a few you didn’t prepare for. Once you answer their questions flawlessly, Javier dismisses the group to their respective assignments. Several of them shake your hand on their way out. 

Javi stands back and watches the crowd file out, then saunters over to you. You’re beaming a smile at him and fight the urge to throw your arms around him in a grateful embrace. 

“That was…” You shake your head in disbelief, eyes as wide as your smile.

“‘Amazing.’ You can say it.” He’s smiling in return and leans a slim hip against the table, crossing his arms. 

“It was amazing! God, that felt good.” Adrenaline pumps through your limbs in a rush.

“You did a great job today.” 

“Thanks, I had a lot of help.” You start to gather the briefing materials and Javi jumps in, working his way around the opposite side of the table. You meet on the other side, where he adds the stack from your hands to his own.

“Not as much as you think.” Javier tucks the stack of briefings under his arm and gives you a friendly wink. Friendly, yet it still manages to set those butterflies flitting again. You haven’t felt this moony over a guy in…well, awhile. 

The rest of the day goes by like a blur. Javier introduces you to the two agents he’s assigning to report directly to you for the duration of the case – Diaz and Tran – and the three of you get to work immediately. The first thing you do is get in touch with the closest ports of entry to see what high-priced artwork may have crossed in or out of the country within the past few months.  

You lose yourself in piles of customs reports, flagging anything that catches your eye, and before you know it, Javier appears at your desk, knocking on the wall of your cubicle. Blinking, you’re surprised to see that the office has emptied out. 

“Hey,” he says softly. 

Your eyes widen when you see that it’s past seven o’clock on your computer screen. “Jesus, no wonder I was starting to go cross-eyed.”

You start putting the reports away in your bag, intending to look at them some more at home. The excitement and buzz of the day is fading, and the fatigue finally starts setting in. 

"Want to grab a drink?" Javier has his jacket over his arm, a hand casually in his pocket. 

"Can I take a rain check?" You feel bad saying no, because you actually would like to have a drink with Javi. 

“Are you going to keep working at home?”

“That was the plan,” you admit sheepishly.

“Then, no.”

“‘No,’ what?” 

“No rain check. Let’s go – there will be plenty more to do tomorrow. I had to learn that the hard way.” Javier reaches over and takes your bag. 

You let out a long-suffering sigh for dramatic effect and shut down your computer. As you join Javier, he splays a broad hand between your shoulder blades, guiding you to the elevator. You barely have a chance to register the warmth of his hand before it drops, leaving pleasant tingles in its wake. 

The silence between you is born from that day’s weariness, yet it feels comfortable. Javi takes you to the same bar as before, and you grab the same table in the back while he orders you each a beer. A server brings a couple of glasses of water over as well, which you find a sensible choice, given how tired you feel already. 

Javier settles back in his chair with a groan and starts taking off his tie. As he stretches his long neck, you try not to stare, but those freckles and prominent veins hold your gaze. He takes a long pull from his bottle of beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

Tearing your eyes away, you focus on the rings of condensation your beer bottles have left on the table and try to think of anything to talk about. Before you can think of something, Javier speaks up. 

“I got a call today.” He’s fiddling with the label on his beer bottle, peeling it back. His knee bounces under the table, jiggling close enough that you can feel the edge of his pant leg against yours.

When he doesn’t continue, you prompt him with a soft, “Oh?” and take a swig of your beer. 

“It was the FBI art squad getting back to me.” 

You pause before swallowing, determined to play this cool. “About time.” 

“Yeah, the guy was really apologetic. He said they could assign a couple of people to help us with whatever we need.” Javier finishes pulling the label off his bottle, all in one piece. 

“That’s great!” You hope Javi can hear the genuine enthusiasm you feel in your voice. “My contact said they’d help, but wasn’t sure what they could do.”

“I spoke to the agent in charge, Pike. Do you know him?” He keeps his large, brown eyes on you as he takes another sip of beer. 

Schooling your features, you dare yourself to meet his gaze. “I do, yeah.”

“Have you worked with him before?” Javier tilts his head a fraction, watching you.

“That case I finished before transferring, he and I worked on that together.”

“Closely?”

“What are you trying to get at?” You counter, putting your beer down harder than you intended, your hackles starting to rise.

“Nothing.” Javier shakes his head and looks down at his beer, but you can see a hint of a smirk appearing under his mustache.

Huffing, you slouch and take a sip of your beer, then cross your arms, feeling a little like a child. “Yes.”

“Hmm?” Javi looks up at you through his lashes. Those damned eyes of his. He could bring entire cartels to their knees with those eyes. 

“Yes, he’s the person I had a… thing with.” You cross one leg over the other, bouncing it peevishly.

“Sounds complicated,” Javier remarks, not unkindly. 

You shrug, as though to say it was nothing. As though the time you spent with Marcus didn’t mean anything to you, and wasn’t the healthiest relationship you’d ever been in, even if it didn’t have the label society demanded. You’re embarrassed to feel the sting of tears in your eyes and turn your face away from Javi before he can see.

“I understand complicated,” Javi says, his soft words a balm to soothe your injured heart. 

The beers are finished in contemplative silence. Both of you take plaintive sips of water, mindful of the drives ahead and the weariness you’re each already fighting. 

Neither of you seem to mind that the space between you is shrinking, or that your legs rest gently against each other’s under the table. Neither of you flinch or pull away when the backs of your hands wrapped around your water glasses touch. When Javi’s thumb grazes your knuckles, you only look at him, but his face stays turned down determinedly. 

You move your thumb against his in a soothing repetition. Slowly, but without hesitation, Javi takes your hand in his, linking your fingers, and you give a gentle squeeze. Your breath slows, the noise of the bar fades, and the tension in your muscles unwinds as you inhale and exhale in time with Javi. 

Without a word, without a glance, Javi pulls you to your feet and begins to lead you out of the bar. 

It’s completely dark now, but the goosebumps erupting across your arms aren’t from any chill in the air. Holding tight to Javi’s hand, you follow swiftly behind him. He lengthens his stride, shoulders back and jaw set. 

About half a block from your office building, Javier pulls you around a corner and onto a darkened side street. You let him lead you without thinking, completely trusting him. But before you can blink, he’s got you pressed up against the wall of a building, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other around your waist. Instinctively, your hands grip onto the lapels of his jacket to not lose your balance. 

Everything Javier does is purposeful, focused, intentional – he is not a man to lose complete control of himself, especially when he feels out of control. With his face mere inches from yours, and the faint scent of beer on his breath, he speaks. 

“Tell me to stop.” 

Javi’s tongue pokes out and licks his plump bottom lip. The cool stone of the building at your back is a welcome relief from the heat pooling in your lower belly. 

“W-what?” A glance at his eyes, black from the shadows around you, makes your knees shake. 

“If you don’t want this, tell me now.” The hand on the back of your head gently eases down to cup your face, and Javi caresses your cheek with his thumb.

“Please,” he pleads in a whisper, his lips a hair’s breadth from your own. “Before I do something I’ll regret.” 

“Don’t…” Your breath shakes. 

A sigh from Javi’s lips is warm on your face. Almost imperceptibly, Javi nods and begins pulling away. You tighten your grip on his jacket, holding him in place. 

“I mean - don’t stop.” 

Javi’s smile changes his entire face, and the tension in his shoulders eases. 

“Cariño,” he murmurs, resting your foreheads together and nudging your nose with the tip of his. 

Before Javi can do more than brush his lips against yours, a small group of people pass by on the sidewalk a few feet away. This close to the office, it’s very possible they work in the same building – might have even come from the same bar. Fortunately, Javier reacts quickly. He shifts your bodies and tucks your head into his chest, blocking the light from the nearby street lamp – and their view of you – entirely.

Their chattering ceases abruptly as they spot your forms in the shadows, one letting out a quiet, “Whoops,” under his breath. Another sniggers, and they continue on their way. You think you hear one of them whisper Peña a bit too loudly and get shushed by their companions.

Javier holds you there a few more moments, your bodies molded to one another in the dark. Stilling your pounding heart, you breathe in his scent and run your hands around his back, underneath his suit jacket. The muscles of his back are firm under your hands. He presses his face to the top of your head and wraps his arms around you in return. For a while, you stay there together, breathing in sync and savoring this stolen moment.

Eventually, Javier starts to pull away, and you reluctantly let go. He leans in, and tenderly places a kiss to your forehead, your cheek, and your ear. Softly, he says, “Come on, cariño, I’ll walk you back to your car.” 

Holding hands again, your pace is much slower this time. There seems to be an understanding that what you just experienced was too close a call. Still, neither of you are in any hurry for this to end, whatever it is. 

At your car, Javier stands back with his hands in his pockets while you open the door and toss your bag inside. 

“Get home safe, cariño.” 

“You too, Javi.” 

In your mirror, you see him give a small wave as you drive away.

~*~*~*~

It was stupid to ask you to grab a drink after work. Javier doesn't really understand what motivated him to ask you in the first place. 

That’s a lie – he knows exactly why he asked you, why he asked you about Pike, why he dragged you out of that bar. You're on his mind all the time now, to the point of distraction. Javier sees you when he closes his eyes, pictures you lying next to him when he’s going to sleep, tries to imagine the feel of your skin, soft on his fingertips. The only relief he feels is when he's with you in the flesh. 

It’s selfish of him, he realizes, to want these things from you. You haven’t said much about what happened in D.C., but it was enough for him to understand that he can’t put you in that position again. People are cruel, especially to women. 

With a heaving sigh, Javier rolls over in bed. Even if he can’t allow himself to act on his desires, he can let go a little in his mind. For a moment, he lets himself indulge in the fantasy of having you, fueled by the memories of your fingers laced with his, the heat from your back where he placed a gently guiding hand, the scent of your shampoo when he kissed your face. 

Javier imagines what it would feel like, being able to touch and feel you in those natural ways people together do: your arms wrapped around his chest and kissing the back of his neck and shoulders, the weight of you seated on his lap, caressing all of your lines and curves. All the things he could do with you, just because you’re his. 

______________________________________________________________

Five Days Later Texas

You’ve never seen a case get off the ground and progress so quickly. In the last few days, the DEA managed to bring in the art gallery couple suspected of planning a money laundering deal with the narcos under investigation. Not only did the couple admit to their plan, but they agreed to cooperate with the investigation in exchange for immunity. 

The gallery was hosting a special exhibit opening that night, and the narcos – Castano and Lopez – were confirmed guests. The timing was perfect to introduce Peña and another agent, Bateman, who would be posing undercover as business partners in competition with the art gallery owners. But that meant their task force had to act fast to get everything organized and ready in time.

Surveillance had been placed on Castano and Lopez, and the agents tailing them were sending in frequent reports on the men’s movements. They had already arranged transportation to get them to the gallery event after dining at an expensive restaurant nearby. Their dirty money certainly didn’t stop them from enjoying a lavish lifestyle. 

You check over the information on the tablet in your hands. Posing as an event coordinator gave you access to all areas of the gallery, service entrances, back rooms, the whole shebang. It also gave you the ability to watch a live video feed of all the cameras placed around the gallery, right from your tablet, and listen in on the audio through the wires Peña and Bateman would be wearing. 

A few other agents were staged as caterers, wait staff, and private security detail for the special event, but this evening would only have one mission: get the narcos interested in finding out what Peña and his “business partner” could offer. He and Bateman were already out on the gallery floor, mingling with the crowd, and looking at the art. 

Javi was wearing a dark blue suit, fitting snugly to his broad shoulders and tapering in at his slim waist. He’d obviously taken extra time grooming himself that evening, because he had some kind of pomade in his hair that added a sleek wave, and his mustache was neatly trimmed. It was criminal how fucking good he looked.

Surveillance checks in to report an ETA of approximately 10 minutes. Letting out a deep breath, you tap out a message on your tablet with the ETA and send it to Javi’s phone. Through your earpiece, you hear Javi’s phone ding, a pause, and then his voice mutters, “Copy.” 

Things between you and Javier that week had been a bit tense, to say the least. The two of you orbited each other, coming close yet never touching before being slingshot back out in opposite directions. 

The memory of his arms around you and his lips ghosting across your mouth kept you warm each night. You continuously waffled back and forth between reprimanding yourself for even thinking about indulging in another workplace fling, and craving him like a drug. It was maddening. 

Diaz’s voice in your ear says, “Targets have arrived, entering now.” You message Javi, and he confirms he has eyes on them. He and Bateman continue circulating a bit, keeping an eye on Castano and Lopez, but blending with the crowd for now. Things are right on track. 

Closing your eyes for a moment, you take a deep breath and lean against a wall in the back corridor. The coolness of the wall reminds you of the cool stone against your skin in that alleyway. You let the radio chatter in your earpiece fade as you remember the heat from Javi’s hands, the strength of his arms and chest, the smile on his lips when you told him ‘don’t stop.’ Heat pools in your lower belly, imagining what could have happened if you hadn’t been interrupted.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You hear Javi’s voice in your ear and your eyes fly open. A few taps on your tablet and you’re watching video from a nearby camera. Bateman is gripping his abdomen and grimacing in pain. 

“Yeah, just this stomach ache. I’ve had it for days.” Bateman gestures to his lower right side. Something tells you that’s no mere stomach ache.

Quickly, yet calmly, you bustle over to their location and assume your best event coordinator voice. “Sir, is everything alright? Can I get you some water?” 

Bateman tries to wave you off, but is interrupted as another wave of pain hits him and he doubles over. Javi watches his partner and concern knits his brow. 

“Boss, the targets are headed in your direction, I think they’re trying to check out what’s going on,” Tran’s falsetto says over the radio. 

You lay a hand on Bateman’s shoulder, lowering your voice to say, “We need to get him out of here.”

You put your arm around Bateman’s hunched shoulders and say loudly enough for some of the looky-loos to hear you, “Everything’s alright, Sir. Please come with me.” You give a meaningful look to Javi and gesture for him to come with you.

The gallery owners have a small office in the back that’s part of a larger storage area with a loading dock for larger works of art. You take Bateman and Javi back to the office, passing through the swarm of catering staff, who have been using the storage room as their staging area. Pulling out one of the office chairs, you guide Bateman to sit. Diaz bursts into the small room, dressed in the typical black attire of private security, worry etched across his face. 

“Nick? Talk to me – what’s happening?” Diaz’s voice is a bit tremulous, but he takes charge and gets on the radio to report an agent down. You’ve seen how close Diaz and Bateman are at the office and wonder if there’s something more between them than friendship.

Javi catches your eye and nods his head to the side, indicating for you to both exit the office. Following him a bit down the hallway, you step close to his side to escape the bustle of caterers with trays of hors d'oeuvres. 

“What’s happening?” Javi wipes a hand over his mustache and flicks a finger at your tablet. 

He leans over to look at your screen and you swipe through several views until you spot Castano sipping on champagne and Lopez looking bored. The latter was the one, if memory serves, who made the comment about modern art being just a bunch of splattered paint. 

The scent of Javi’s cologne and his closeness make your hands tremble. You haven’t been this close to him since he almost kissed you. In fact, his face was near enough to your own that you could easily turn your head and place your lips to the side of his neck or shoulder. Your head swims at the thought.

Hazarding a glance up, you see out of the corner of your eye that Javi isn’t looking at your tablet anymore either. His chest rises and falls, brushing your arm with every inhale. Those dark chocolate eyes are nearly black, his pupils wide and intense. Seconds tick by that could be minutes, both of your bodies frozen in place. 

Movement on the screen in your hands catches your attention and breaks the reverie. You can’t let yourself be distracted by whatever is happening between you and Javi. Not now, on this big of a case – your first opportunity to really prove that you’re capable on your own, and not someone who fucks their way up the ranks. 

Javi takes half a step back, and you clamp your teeth down on your lower lip to stifle a sigh at your loss. How the hell are you supposed to focus with all of these feelings and urges flying through your body? 

Clearing his throat, Javi rasps, “I better get back out there.”

You nod your head in agreement. “Yeah. That’s good, I’ll - uh, check on Bateman.” Javi moves to leave but pauses. 

“You’re doing great,” he whispers next to your ear, his touch on your lower back light as a feather before slipping off back into the crowded gallery. You fight the urge to run after him and shift your focus back to Bateman. Stepping back into the office, Diaz is already on the radio, arranging transportation for the two of them to the hospital. 

“I think it’s his appendix,” Diaz says to you quietly when you walk over. 

You grimace. Shit.

Bateman was chosen to be Javi’s partner in this operation because he could carry a conversation about art and make it convincing. Javi – to use his own words again – doesn’t know shit about art. 

Looking down at your tablet, you tap through the various video feeds and see that the narcos are in the same section of the gallery as Javier. Switching the channel on your earpiece, you listen in on the audio feed coming from his wire. 

You’re not sure if Javi is genuinely distressed over Bateman’s condition, or if he’s acting it up to try and draw the attention of the narcos, but you can hear his labored breathing from his wire. Could he be nervous? You select the video feed with the best vantage and see Javi rubbing the back of his neck and fiddling with his tie. 

With Javi’s breathing in your ear, you make up your mind. You can’t let him finish this alone. 

“Diaz, you got this?” 

“Yes, ma’am. Transport will be here in less than five minutes.” 

You’re already setting down your tablet and removing the curlicue wire from behind your ear. 

“Good. Report in once you get him seen to.” Diaz nods, but watches you curiously. 

Next goes your blazer and the clip holding your hair back. You grab your purse and find the red lipstick, quickly applying a fresh coat to your lips.

“Well, how do I look? Can I pass as a shady art dealer’s girlfriend?” You step back and smooth down the dress you were wearing under the blazer. 

You don’t have many occasions to wear the black cocktail dress, but for tonight you needed something more stylish than your regular work clothes. Its V-neckline is relatively modest, but the smooth material clings to your curves in a way that leaves nothing to the imagination. 

Diaz gives you a once over and says, “With all due respect, Boss…you look hot.” 

“Thanks,” you fluff your hair a bit, using your reflection in the office’s window. “Bateman, take it easy. We’ve got this.” Bateman groans in response and you rush out the door. 

You’re flying blind now – no eyes or ears on anything but what’s in front of you. Tran spots you and cocks her head quizzically, but otherwise doesn’t break her cover as she approaches you with a tray of champagne flutes. 

Grabbing a glass, you mutter, “Bateman is down, I had to do something.” She nods and quirks an amused lip. 

“I like your dress,” she mutters back. You toss back the rest of the champagne in your glass for courage, and Tran hands you another to take its place. 

“Thanks, so does Diaz.” Tran snorts and pivots to offer champagne to a cluster of guests nearby. 

The three of you gelled almost immediately, and you felt immensely grateful. Their support on the case made you feel at ease with being in charge of a team. You wonder if Javi assigned Diaz and Tran on purpose, thinking you’d all suit one another.

Javier, Castano, and Lopez are still in the same gallery space, admiring adjacent pieces. Well, Lopez is digging a finger into his ear, but at least Castano seems genuinely interested. 

Seemingly more relaxed now, Javi stands with his back slightly to you, leaving his body language open to the targets. But you already know him better than the casual observer. The veins in Javi’s neck are more prominent, and you tamp down the urge to lick them. He’s practically vibrating like a plucked wire, but his shoulders are relaxed, one hand casually in his pocket. Fuck, he looks good in that suit. 

Taking a deep breath, you decide you’ll just have to go for it. It’s just for tonight, after all. 

“Babe!” A few people turn their heads to look at you, including the three men you needed to take notice. 

You shuffle over on your tiptoes to not break an ankle in your heels, and Javi – to his credit – doesn’t react beyond a shift in his eyes and a twitch of his jaw.

“Oh, my god! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, babe.” You practically throw yourself at Javi and cling to his side. He wraps an arm around your waist, the other hand coming out of his pocket to lightly grasp your bare arm.

“I saw poor Nicky – he didn’t look so good,” you say, placing your free hand on Javi’s chest and adding a touch of real concern to your voice. 

Javier’s entire demeanor shifts with you in his arms, his body relaxes, immediately falling into lockstep with you. You’re impressed at how quickly he responds to this curveball. Neither of you could have prepared for something like this.

“Yeah, he decided to head home, probably just ate something bad.” Javi took everything in stride. “You’re feeling okay, right?” He pulls back a bit to take you in, like he’s checking you over for bumps and bruises.

“Yeah, baby, I’m okay. But…” you drop your voice to a stage whisper, aware that at least Lopez is paying attention to this little charade. “What about the you-know-what?”

Javi glances around like he’s worried somebody might hear you. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. He wasn’t moving it until next week anyway.” Javi kisses your temple. You nod, seemingly pacified, and offer your glass to him. 

He smirks, and instead of taking it from your hand, he leans down and places his lips to the rim. You let out a little giggle and tilt the glass for him. A little dribbles over the side of his mouth, dripping off his mustache. Letting out a mock tutting sound, you wipe it away with your thumb and lick the remnants from your skin. 

Your eyes meet, and you melt a bit, seeing that Javi’s pupils are completely blown.

“I can’t take you anywhere,” you tease, managing to regain composure. 

“I know exactly where you can take me,” he fires back, and – to your utter shock and private enjoyment – squeezes your ass. 

“Babe!” You gasp, and hit him playfully on the arm. Looking around nervously, you notice Lopez staring lasciviously at this public display, and you still, clearing your throat. Javi notices, and follows your gaze to Lopez, who is now adjusting his pants by his gaudy belt buckle.

“Hey - qué pasa contigo?” Javi’s face morphs into something serious and intimidating.

The two men exchange some words in rapid Spanish, and Castano gets involved. You’re genuinely flummoxed, not understanding what the men are saying, but it’s clear Castano is trying to apologize for Lopez’s rudeness and making amends. 

You tug at Javi’s arm to pull him back to you, running a soothing hand over his chest. “Come on, baby. It’s fine.” 

“I want an apology,” Javi says, stubbornly. 

“Lo siento, Señor,” Lopez mutters, and Javi shakes his head. 

“An apology to her,” he clarifies, his eyes boring holes into Lopez’s forehead. 

Lopez repeats himself, but can’t meet your eyes. Castano steps forward and reaches out a hand. Without thinking, you place your hand in his, and he holds it between his own. You know what this man before you is capable of, what he’s suspected and guilty of, and you fight the urge to shudder. 

“Miss, I am so sorry for my associate’s bad manners,” Castano begins in lightly accented English. “When a woman as beautiful as you is nearby, any man would take notice.” 

Pretending to be flattered and appeased, you dip your head. Castano – a slim man of equal height – bends at the waist formally and brushes dry lips to your knuckles. You turn a disgusted curl of your lip into a demure smile. 

“Thank you,” you simper. 

Javi says something to Castano in Spanish, and the two begin to converse, their tone much more pleasant now with formalities out of the way. He drops his arm from your waist and joins Castano at the painting he’d been admiring.

You catch Lopez’s eye and let the corner of your mouth tilt up as you take a sip of your champagne, now warm and flat. The man – squat, with a thick unibrow under a greasy forehead – is the kind of fish you want to keep on the hook for a while. It lets them think they’re winning. 

“Cariño,” Javi says and beckons you to join the men. 

Sauntering over, you let the high heels do their job and smile sweetly up at him. The conforming dress rises up your thighs a bit higher than you’d be comfortable with in real life, but you decide to leave the hem where it rests when you see Javi’s eyes rake over your exposed skin. The hair on your arms stands up, and the heat in your core begins to rise. 

“Señor Castano has a question about this piece, and I told him you were the brains between us,” he winks, and your breath hitches. 

Over the next ten minutes, you speak knowledgeably about the art on exhibit in the gallery. You’d never felt more grateful for the times Marcus would get excited about a case or piece of evidence and animatedly answer your questions while sharing takeout from one of your regular haunts. There’s a sudden pang in your chest. 

Just as suddenly, Javi is right behind you, stroking the backs of his fingers up and down a bare arm. His left hand is on your hip, caressing his thumb over the thin fabric of your dress. You relax into his touch, melting back into him until you feel the swell of your ass meet the front of his pants. 

Javi sucks in a sharp breath, and his fingers on your hip tighten their grip. You’re trying to focus on Castano’s words, but you feel Javi’s breath shudder a bit as he makes the smallest of movements with his hips, pressing himself into your ass. 

“...and that’s why we’re here tonight, drinking champagne, admiring the works of art on display… and speaking with beautiful women,” Castano finishes. The smile on his face would be genuinely charming if you didn’t already know what a deplorable human being he is. 

“Mi amor loves talking about art, I only wish I knew more. She and my partner could talk all night about our latest deals–” Javi stops himself short, pretending that he’s let something slip.

Castano’s eyes go sharp, but his smile barely changes. Showing a bit of intelligence, even Lopez perks up at this false faux pas. You’re surprised he was even listening, he’s been so busy shoveling canapes into his mouth and ogling the other women nearby.

“Ah, so you are art dealers then!” Castano exclaims. “Little wonder Señorita is so knowledgeable.”

You move your left hand to caress Javi’s on your hip. Not sure if Castano thinks you and Javi are married, or he’s just being polite, you’d rather play it safe and leave your ring fingers out of his sight until you and Javi can speak privately. 

“My partner is really the art dealer, it’s a shame you couldn’t meet him tonight. I’m just another man of business.” 

“And what line of business are you in, Señor?” Castano asks.

“Please, call me Javi,” he says with a casual wave of his free hand. “And I’m in whatever line of business is good – I’ve done a bit of this, a bit of that. Here, have my card.”

Javi fishes out the prop business card from the inner breast pocket of his suit jacket. “I represent my client’s business interests, whatever they may be.” 

Castano takes the card and glances it over, then hands it to Lopez to hold. “And your clients are interested in art?”

“Some are. That’s how I met mi alma. She was working at the private gallery my new partner owns.” Javi stands next to you, keeping his fingers locked with yours on your hip, and smiles down at you. 

You have to remind yourself that none of this is real, it’s all for the cover – and a last-minute cover, at that. None of this was supposed to happen. But standing there, basking in the warmth of Javi’s affection, your heart races a bit and you give him a genuine smile in return.

“And the rest is history,” you finish with a small shrug of your shoulder, then rest your head on Javi’s shoulder for a second. Lopez’s phone rings and he turns away to answer it quietly, then taps Castano on the shoulder deferentially.

“Well, Javi, Señorita,” Castano nods at each of you in turn. “I would love to treat you to dinner soon. I have a new case of vintage bordeaux and a new painting I’m looking for any excuse to show off. I’ll have my associate call to make the arrangements. Please, bring your business partner.” 

Javi nods and shakes Castano’s hand. The two men leave, and you see Lopez stuff a napkin full of food into his suit pocket. Castano rolls his eyes in exasperation and glides away to the front exit. 

Javi gives your waist a squeeze, and you turn to face him, smiles on both of your faces. You hover for a minute, just in case the men return, but then Tran comes by with another tray of champagne. 

“May I take your glass, ma’am?” Javi takes the glass from your hand and sets it gently on the tray. He busies himself by taking another so Tran can murmur, “They’re off the premises, tracking in place.” 

Javi nods and sips the champagne. Tran moves away once more. A couple beats pass, and Javi sets the champagne down on a nearby cocktail table, grips your hand tightly, and starts pulling you in the direction of the back office. 

This time you struggle more to keep up with him, not in your usual office attire. Javi is pulling at his tie and undoing the top buttons of his shirt. In the back storage area, Javi drops your hand and makes a beeline into the small office. 

You slow almost to a stop, a bit winded from practically jogging in heels. Javi turns and meets your eye. Seeing the intensity in his face, you pause before the threshold and worry flits across your mind. 

Maybe Javi’s actually upset with you for going rogue, for jumping in and messing with the plan. Maybe he’s just really good undercover, and you projected your own desires onto his smiles and touches. He silently crooks two fingers, bidding you to join him in the office. 

Steeling your spine, preparing for a fight, you pull your shoulders back and strut into the office. Closing the door behind you, you take a breath, ready to go toe-to-toe with Javi if that’s what it takes to prove you were in the right. 

You made an executive decision in what could have been a crisis, and you’ll stand by that judgment call. You did what a good leader is supposed to do when plans go south. Everything worked out with the narcos, and even if they don’t take the bait and call, you still have tracking and surveillance on them.

Javi remains silent, finishes unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his freckled skin underneath. He removes the wire taped to his chest, then sets it down on the desk and switches off the receiver. You open your mouth, prepared to state your defense.

In two strides, Javi closes the distance between you and takes your mouth in a crushing kiss. You throw your arms around his neck and his hands grip the backs of your bare thighs, lifting you effortlessly and setting you onto the desk. 

Deepening the kiss, Javi’s tongue plunders your mouth and he lets out a strangled grunt when you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him flush against your panty-clad pussy. Groaning, you feel his cock quickly getting hard and you soon realize you were already wet before he even started kissing you. 

Javi kisses a searing trail across your jaw, the hairs of his mustache tickling the tender flesh under your ear as he nips at the lobe. You gasp and rut against the front of his pants. 

“You are – fucking – incredible,” Javi growls in your ear, grinding his straining cock against the damp spot on your panties for emphasis. Your breathing is shallow, and you cling to his broad back as he continues his way down your neck. 

“You’re amazing,” he adds, then gently sinks his teeth into the flesh between your neck and shoulder, eliciting a small whimper from your lips. 

Letting your head loll to the side, willing him to take whatever he desires, you whisper, “Javi, please…” 

You can feel his mustache turn up as he smiles, his path across your clavicle interrupted. 

“‘Please’, what, cariño?” His wide hands roam up the expanse of your back, then down to massage the meat of your hips and ass. You rock yourself against his cock again, but he holds your hips still and pulls back to look into your wrecked face, lifting an eyebrow in question. 

“Fuck, Javi–” You rebel against the grip of his hands, trying to feel that pressure from his hard cock again, but he stops you. He mimics your tut-tut from earlier out in the gallery, and pulls his hips away from yours. You lock your ankles behind him, trying in vain to keep him in place. 

Javi smacks a hand against the flesh of your ass that’s still covered by your dress, which luckily muffles the sound. Your mouth pops open in surprise, and you look at him. The intensity in his face has returned, but there’s no malice in his eyes, just hunger. Without a word exchanged, you unhook your ankles from behind his waist and let your legs spread open. 

Javi lets out a satisfied moan from deep in his chest. “Mm, somebody trained you well, cariño.” 

You let out a shuddering breath and Javi leans in to capture your bottom lip between his, sucking it between his teeth before letting it go with a soft pop. You nod, just barely, and wait for him to continue. 

“I bet I can guess who it was,” he teases, then his tone changes. “Stand up and turn around. Palms on the desk.” 

Javi pulls away and walks the two steps to the door, never looking away as he watches you follow his command. Your dress is now hitched up onto your hips, your ass presented to him. 

Before he can lock the door, a tentative knock on the other side makes both of you jump. You immediately straighten up and pull your dress down, while Javi checks through the blinds in the door’s window. 

“Tran,” he mouths. 

You try to smooth your hair down and Javi opens the door and quickly turns away, busying himself with the wire and receiver on the desk, as though he’d just turned it off. 

Clearing her throat, Tran stands in the doorway, not meeting your eye and says, “Boss, Diaz just reported in. Bateman is getting an emergency appendectomy, but he should be fine. They got him to the ER before it got too bad.” 

Both you and Javi let out sighs of relief. “Thanks, Tran. We’ll debrief in the morning.” 

Tran glances between you and Javi, and gives you a sly smile. “Sure thing, Boss. Have a good night.” She winks and closes the office door behind her. You’ll have to deal with that later.

“Fuck me,” you sigh and sink down in the office chair. All the adrenaline of the evening was starting to make your legs shaky. Javi sits a hip on the corner of the desk in a way that reminds you of Pike. 

“That’s kind of what I was trying to do,” he tosses his head at the door. “Before we got interrupted.” 

“It was very rude,” you agree, both of you sharing a smirk before going quiet. 

“Listen,” Javi swipes a thumb at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t know if this is a good idea–” You put a hand on his knee to stop him.

“But it’s what I want. And you obviously want it too,” you look pointedly at his crotch, where his aroused state is still quite evident, despite the interruption. 

“Fuck yeah, I do,” he states emphatically. “It’s just…” He sighs and places his hand over yours. “I recognize what a huge deal this case is for you, for professional and personal reasons.” 

Javi pulls you to stand and cups your face. “I couldn’t live with myself if I fucked that up for you.” 

You sigh, and think for a moment. 

“Javi, no offense, but that’s bullshit.” 

“What?” He pulls back in surprise.

“First, you’re giving yourself way too much credit,” you chuckle to break the tension, then grow serious. “Secondly, I’m a grown ass woman who can make her own choices. If anything gets fucked up, it’s because I made a decision, so I’ll deal with the consequences.” 

Javi takes a deep breath, evaluating your words. You can see that he doesn’t like the idea of what those consequences may be, nor the thought of you being the one to deal with them. 

He swears under his breath in Spanish, looking to the heavens for help, then leans in and kisses you. Gently at first, then more persistently, holding your face until you’re both breathing heavily through your noses. He breaks the kiss and you both take a deep breath.

“Okay, ‘grown ass woman,’” he says, and you let out a small laugh. “I’ve got a choice for you to make.”

“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?” 

“Your place or mine?”

Chapter 8 - Coming Soon!

Additional Author’s Note: Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the lovely comments and reblogs! I can’t tell you how much they mean to me. As always, I would love-love-love to know what you think. I really want to become a better writer, so any and all feedback is welcome! Thank you for reading! 💜

[braindraintxt]

34

+ got covid this week, after needing to go to hospital on wednesday for potential surgery. i've had surgery for this issue three times, this time just being sent home with antibiotics, but it's verging on sending me into a panic attack when the doctor says i have to go. it's the surgical assessment unit, and i've always had a very difficult time (waiting 5-6 hours minimum, usually in a hot room with uncomfortable seats) - the hardest part is that you can't eat, because you might have surgery. for general anaesthetic, they need you to not have eaten for eight hours, and it's not easy to get your water bottle refilled either.

i did make some friends this time, though - an american visiting for the fringe who needed steroids for her ears so she could fly home. she was fascinated (and horrified) to learn about all the ways the fringe has fucked this city up. i also befriended an older lady who, since her husband died a couple of years ago, has had a spate of health issues: leaking heart valve requiring a pacemaker, seizures, shoulder surgery, fluid in her lungs, et cetera. she waited six hours and finally ended up going home to try her luck tomorrow.

woke up the next morning feeling exhausted, then woke up the morning after that with a headache, then woke up the morning after that and tested positive for covid. this is my second time with covid - the first time i got it was from that same hospital, after i'd been there for a work event in spring 2021.

so that's great.

the worst part of covid (for me) is the fear of spreading it on. there's not much to do about that other than isolate completely and be a brave boy about it.

+ raleigh and i finished the bear season two. the episode finale felt like a victory for so many characters (richie, syd, neil, natalie, marcus), but i don't understand why carmy was written like that. it was a square-one moment that would have been good earlier in the season, a setback that the characters could overcome, but next to the others' growth it seemed strange for him to essentially force himself to revert to his season one broken self. i also disliked claire's reaction. first of all, you're telling me an ER doctor wouldn't immediately start thinking about carmy getting hypothermia or frostbite? and she's been so wholeheartedly supportive of his ill self, it was weird for her to do a 180 turn when we haven't seen her start to struggle with carmy's self-esteem issues or anything before.

+ i read 'the familiars' by stacey hall for a book club at work. it was good! better than i expected. i was actually given a copy of this book by an old client when i finished working with her, but i am not a historical fiction buff, so i passed it to a friend. but it was picked for book club, so i read it and enjoyed it. hall clearly loved all of her characters - almost all received a redemption arc of some kind, and i do enjoy that kind of positive storytelling every once in a while. it's nice to read a book filled, by the most part, with people trying to do what's right (even if they're going about it the wrong way).

[playingfetchwithdinosaurs]

Attention tumblr - it is my job and duty to bring to your attention a TV show called Deadly Class that recently started airing on Syfy. Not only is this show pretty good, but it is basically a Foxhole Court AU and the main character Marcus is basically Neil, and not just because he looks like what we always imagined Neil to look like  i mean look at this shit what the fuck

but the synopsis is that a homeless, disillusioned teen named Marcus is recruited into King’s Dominion, a secret academy for the Deadly Arts

So if yall are looking for something to help fill the void left behind, check out this Foxhole Court Murder School AU that you never thought you needed

(@ohmypreciousgirl)

[little-werewolf-oven]

35 for harringrove?💜💜

(This was so much fun!  Warning for BullySteve)

#35 - “You heard me.  Take. It. Off”

May 8, 1981

The last month of school has always dragged.  Days are longer, classes are more pointless than usual, summer freedom so close you can taste it.  Steve and his crew are hanging in the front lawn of Hawkins Middle, jean jackets an effective barrier against the morning chill.  Tommy’s got an arm around Carol’s shoulders, eyes on Steve as he talks about when they should get to the theater for opening night of the new slasher flick.  Steve’s barely paying attention, eyes scanning the parking lot, day-dreaming about getting the hell out of this kids’ playground, about what high school is going to be like.  

He catches it out of the corner of his eye, a flash of blue walking towards the school.  Steve turns, dislodging where Vicki’s trying to lean up against him, and sees a kid he’s pretty sure he’s never seen before, messy blonde curls and slumped shoulders covered by an oversized denim jacket. 

“Hey!” The kid doesn’t stop, doesn’t even look up, though a couple bystanders snap their attention to Steve.  He marches forward, Tommy on his heels, and pushes at the kid’s shoulder before he can reach the steps.  He’s a good four inches shorter than Steve, a little chubby, probably just a sixth grader he’d never noticed before, but when he turns a glare at Steve he’s thrown by how startlingly blue and angry his eyes are. 

“Leave me alone.”

“Take off that jacket.” The kid looks down, then back at Steve.

“What?”  Steve pushes him again. He goes back easy.

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Fuck you.” 

“Listen kid,” Tommy starts, hand on Steve’s shoulder, “maybe you’re new or maybe you’re just dumb, but jean jackets are our thing.  And you’re not quite up to standard.  Capiche?”  The kid’s face gets dark, but his eyes dart between the small crew that’s amassed behind Steve.  Tommy, Kevin, Carol and Vicki, all sporting denim jackets, all looking like they’re ready to escalate the situation and still be home before dinner.  The kid slips his arms out from the jacket, balling it up under his arm.  

“Smart move.” Steve gets another mean look from the kid, but he keeps any angry words to himself as he hightails it up the steps and into the relative safety of the school.

“Who even was that?”  Carol asks, popping her gum as the first bell reverberates through the hallways. 

“No idea.”

September 14, 1982

Steve absently wonders if he’d looked this pathetic last year as he watches the new freshmen filter awkwardly out of the locker room.  He hopes not.  

He and another sophomore are made team captains, pulling their friends and best players first, then arguing over the rest until Mr. Hatfield blows his whistle and tells them to get moving or they’re all getting an F. 

“Harrington, you’re skins, let’s go.” A few of the boys groan, but Steve’s actually pretty excited about this.  He’d been working out more this past summer, swimming in the pool and lifting weights, even saw a few chest hairs the other day.  He pulls his shirt over his head, whipping it towards the benches, shouting “Let’s go, boys!” to the rest of his team as he does so.  The majority comply without question, knowing the drill. A few of the freshmen look around anxiously before following suit, but one staunchly refuses, arms folded across his chest, face twisted up in a determined glare.  There’s something familiar about him, but Steve shakes it away.  Probably just saw him around town, Hawkins is only so big. 

“Hey, come’on, we’re skins.”

“No.” Steve blinks, not used to being talked back to.  

“Well guess what, not your call.  Take it off.”

“Bite me.” 

“I said,” Steve advances, gets a grip on the shoulder of the kid’s shirt, “Take. It. Off.”  He punctuates it word with a tug, the fabric pulling up little by little, revealing a rounded belly, but, even more telling, a large blue and black bruise on his right side.  Steve lets go and takes a step back, the kid looking up at him with wide blue eyes, pulling his shirt down and scurrying back into the locker room.  No one notices him go, and Steve doesn’t rat him out.  

They still win the game. 

January 10, 1984

Christmas break had been long.  He’d spent half of it trying to get back into Nancy’s good graces, and the other half making sure he’d stayed there.  It’s almost a relief to come back to school, have something else to focus on for a minute.  Basketball is going to be starting up again, no chance of making state this year but they can still end their season strong. 

Or they could have, if Marcus Akerman hadn’t gone and broken his leg skiing over winter break.  Steve glares even as he’s signing the cast, knows it’s worse for the guy in it but still.  He was their best point guard, and with Mac and Johnson having to drop because of grades they’re running low on options.  

Coach pulls some players from the JV team, puts Steve in charge of getting them up to speed as he continues to work with the older boys.  Steve’s not sure if he should feel flattered or offended, but in the end decides it’s his duty as captain, plus arguing with the coach has never gotten him anywhere.  

He gathers his new troops an hour before practice, hoping that’ll be enough time to catch them up so he can still join in with the real practice at 6.  Passes them each the ball, having them say their name and position before passing it back.  

“Hargrove,” the last guy announces, “power forward.” He sends the ball back with more force than necessary, making Steve take a step back to catch it properly against his chest.  A smirk crosses the other boy’s face, but Steve’s eyes are drawn to the glint of metal at his ear. 

“Hargrove, take out that earring, man.  No metal on the court.” 

“You kidding me, man?  I’ve played games with this in.” 

“Not on my team you don’t.  Take it off.”  Hargrove’s eyes glint fiercely, and Steve remembers suddenly where he’d seen him before: first day of sophomore year, the kid with the bruise.  He’s taller now, leaner, hair brushing at his shoulders, but still has that mean gaze.  But he doesn’t put up a fuss this time, just spouts off a mimicking, “Yes siiiiiir” before unclasping it and jogging it over to the benches. 

Hargrove’s the best of the group by far. 

March 28, 1986

Steve stumbles up the stairs to his apartment, bag of takeout in one hand, mail in the other as he pushes open the door with his hip.  The door hasn’t latched right for the past month or so, and he knows he’s likely to get robbed one of these days, but there’s not much worth taking, so whatever. Plus it makes getting back in after a long day of working at the god forsaken Family Video with Keith so much easier. 

“You could just call the super and get that fixed.”  He jumps at the voice, nearly dropping the bag of Chinese, but readjusts in time for a quick save.  Billy appears from around the corner, body glistening from the shower, curls dripping on the floor as a towel rests dangerously low on his hips.  Steve’s stomach drops. 

“But then how would you get in?” He fakes cool as he turns to the counter and unpacks the food, but can’t keep his eyes from flicking back to the towel, which he swears is getting looser. 

“Pick the lock.  Or, you know, you could always just get a key made for me.”  Steve stops, turning so his whole body is facing Billy.

“You wanna move in with me?” Billy shrugs, and god bless it, somehow the towel stays on.

“Turn 18 next week.  No legal recourse Neil can take to keep me under his roof.”  He looks at Steve, blue eyes burning, like they always have, like they probably always will, “I don’t have to stay here, pretty boy, but I’m sure as hell not staying there any longer than I have to.”  

“Stay with me,” Steve breathes out, mind already racing with thoughts of Billy, last thing he sees every night, first thing he sees every morning, a presence, a comfort, someone around on those dark nights when the power goes out and he sits with a bat and a flashlight waiting for the end or dawn, whichever comes first. “I’ll make you a goddamn key tomorrow, just, yeah, stay with me.”  Billy gets this soft look in his face, a look Steve didn’t know was possible the first year or so he knew him.  A look that’s reserved almost exclusively for him. 

“Okay, you convinced me.  Now, we gonna eat or what?”  Steve’s eyes drop to the towel still stubbornly clinging to Billy’s hips.  

“What, like that?”

“You’re the one that’s overdressed here, c’mon, get that ugly ass vest off.”  

“What?”  

“You heard me.  Take,” he slips his fingers over the edge of the towel, “it,” pulls at the already sinfully loose knot, “off,” and drops the scrap of fabric to the ground.

It’s hours before they eat, but Steve always liked his wontons cold, anyway.

[incorrect-tfc-quotes]

Scars are okay

Relationship: Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten

Prompt: “Let’s have a baby.”

“Let’s have a baby.” Neil inquires, not moving daring to look at Andrew as he takes another drag from his cigarette. When Andrew says nothing to shoot down his idea, Neil continues. “We are making enough money to support one and there are thousands of children out there who needs parents.”

Andrew continues his silence for a few moments. Only moving to release a breath of smoke. Neil lets him process, watching as the clouds drift on a breeze that ruffles Andrew’s hair.

“Okay.” Andrew says. “We’ll go to the foster home tomorrow.” Neil does not indicate his joy by jumping in the air, but curving his lips upwards, which has the same effect on Andrew. Andrew does not grab Neil’s hand and kiss him slowly under the setting sun like in the novels and instead blow of puff of smoke in his face, a muscle in his cheek feathering before lying still. He might as well have dawned a smile so large it split his face.

The next day, they piled into their car and sped off the the nearest foster home. When they got there, Andrew did not expect to walk up to a mirror, but Aaron stood in front of him, Katelyn’s hand in his.

“What the fu-” Aaron started but Kaytlyn hushed him.

“Aaron, there are children around.” She chided and he nodded in apology.

“Why are you here?”

“None of your business.” Neil shoots, moving around them.

Aaron only rolls his eyes and calls after them, “The one with the curly hair and brown eyes is ours. They’ll be living with us starting next week.”

Andrew waves him off with a “Congrats,” thrown back at them.

Neil checks them in and they take a screening check before seeing any children. When they finally do, it is a riot. Exy, apparently, is very popular with these kids and they act like they just had a gallon of sugar when Neil walks through the door.

“You’re Neil Josten!” One shouts.

“And you’re Andrew Minyard!” Another practically shrieks.

“I’m so excited I might puke!” Neil is afraid she might as they run around his legs. Neil takes the smallest look at Andrew and finds many children hanging off his fingers, awestruck.

“I’m touching Andrew Minyard!” A few of them yell as they fiddle with his arm bands.

“Your scars,” A tiny boy whispers, clutching his shirt and fiddling with a medical mask across his mouth. He pulls it down enough to show his mouth and the circular burns around it. He couldn’t be more than four, but his skin is puckered with the burn marks of cigarettes being put out on his skin. “They’re like mine.” Neil opens his mouth to speak but suddenly all the children are surrounding the boy, a few older ones coming to stand behind him.

“This is Mar, short of Marcus.” One boy says, standing in front of Mar and pulling his mask back up. Mar flinches at the name, but an older one, the one Aaron must have been talking about with curly hair and dark skin, brushes his hair back comfortingly. “He’s been here for a year. Ms. G doesn’t like to look at his scars so she makes him wear a mask.”

The kids part like the sea as Andrew approaches them. “May I?” He asks, gesturing to the mask and Mar looks to the children around them, all moving to engulf Andrew in their midsts. An older boy goes to stand by the door and gives thumbs up, standing watch.

Mar removes his mask and Andrew hovers a hand near his face, asking for permission. Mar nods and Andrew ghosts a hand over his skin. The scars don’t end on his face. They are on his arms, his legs, his fucking tongue. “Who?” Andrew asks.

“His parents. They were arrested and put in jail a month before coming here. He doesn’t like talking about them. He doesn’t mind his scars though. He thinks they make him look like you.” They look at Neil, who is still standing at the door. Andrew looks to the one to whom will go home with Aaron next week. The child must be about nine or so. No scars mark the skin where he can see, but there is a stoniness in her face. “I don’t see the resemblance.”

“Neither do I.” Andrew retorts.

“I’m Andy.” He states.

“Didn’t ask.” Andrew says back.

“Camo. Code camo. Go green, go green.” The boy at the door whispers in a stressed tone. In a matter of second, all the children are moving. The smaller children rush off around the room, the older one pulling Mar away and slipping the mask over his face. They all go back to what they were doing when Neil walked in, but the curly haired kid. The kid and Andrew have a staring contest, him still crouching on the floor before the door bursts open and a huge woman stumbles in.

The woman brushes her hair back and pushes her glasses up as Andrew and Neil straighten to face her, the girl seemingly disappearing with the other children. “Hello, hello! I’m sorry I could not show you around, I was caught up with something. I’m Ms. G.”

“No problem.” Neil offers, hiding his annoyance behind boredom. Andrew is less polite, saying nothing as he stares the woman down.

She crumples under his glare and Neil almost feels sorry for her. “H-have you met any of them yet? I’m sure they would be happy to meet two pro exy players.” At the mention of exy,  all the children spring up from around the room, crowding them once again. They continue their gush until Ms.G shoos them off.

“They are rude, are they not?” Neither Andrew nor Neil answer her and she clears her throat in the sudden silence. “Have any of them caught your eye? I could arrange a sit down with a few of them.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Andrew says. “We’ve made our choice.”

“E-excuse me?” She inquires. “You haven’t even met them.”

“Not your problem. We will take the one with the mask.”

“Marcus?” She asks, incredulous. “He has scars.”

“So do I.” Neil states. “There is nothing wrong with them.”

“Y-yes, of course. He can go with you once the paperwork is done. It should take a few days.”

“How about now?” Andrew states more than asks.

“Of course. Marcus!” She calls and he stumbles over. The woman places a hand on his shoulder and Ms. G does not notice as all the children in the room go quiet. “I’m sure you know who these men are and they would like to take you home.” He is speechless. “Go pack your things while we do the paperwork. Alice!” She calls and the kid they were talking to before slumps over. “Go with Marcus upstairs and help his pack his stuff.”

Andrew and Neil look at each other before nodding. Neil follows the children out of the room as Andrew stays to deal with everything official. Ms. G is about to say something, but is cut off by Andrew walking past her.

The trio walk around and up stairs until they get to the sleeping quarters on the second floor.

“I prefer the name Andy and I don’t like being called a girl.” Andy says, sitting on a bunk next to Mar’s.

“What would you like to be called?” Neil asks as Mar stuffs his belongings into a single bag

“Him.” He says and Neil nods.

“Aaron and Katelyn will love you.” Neil says, although he doesn’t know why.

“I know. They know. Aaron said I could do whatever I wanted as long as it made me happy and didn’t get me killed. Katelyn asked if she could cut my hair.” Andy gives a tiny grin as Mar hands him a backpack. Neil gives the smallest of smiles when Andy reaches down and takes off Mar’s mask. “You won’t need this anymore.” He states.

Mar takes the mask, folds it neatly, and sets it one his old bed. Mar nods solidly before turning back to them and taking Neil’s hand, leading him out the room.

“Let’s go home.” Neil says, gripping the tiny hand in his. Neil and Mar join Andrew at the bottom of the stairs and Mar extends his other hand. Andrew rises an eyebrow at Neil as he takes Mar’s tiny hand.

“What should I call you?” Mar asks.

“Whatever you want.” Andrew says, taking the backpack from Andy.

“Dad.” He says, looking at Andrew. “Pater.” He looks to Neil.

Neil looks confused but Andrew says, “Latin.”

“You know Latin?” Neil asks.

“I learn languages quickly.” Mar says and Neil smiles at Andrew with a knowing look in his eyes.

They walk down the halls, hand in hand, but Ms. G meets them in the front at a final goodbye. She almost faints when she sees Mar, but says nothing about it.

“I’ll see you soon, Mar.” Andy says, waving as they leave behind the foster home.

“Bye-bye, Andy.” Mar waves before taking Neil’s hand again. “I’m going home.”

———————————————————————

AN: This will be my last og post before my flight in a few days. I’ll still be answering questions when I have wifi. I hope you all have a great three weeks.

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2018

Scrapbook for 2018! A reminder, for myself and others-

Italicized titles = enjoyed muchly, bold titles = love, titles with an asterisk* = OBSESSION and titles in (brackets) are re-watches/re-reads. And lastly, strikethough = DISLIKE.

Goals are: read forty-five new books this year, finish six video games, write either 30 fics or 70k total, finish the damn Sabriel AU, and write something original. 

MOVIES

January

(Guardians of the Galaxy 2)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

February

(LOTR: Fellowship)

(Wonder Woman)

Black Panther

Annihilation

March

The Ritual

Cloverfield Paradox

Pacific Rim Uprising

A Wrinkle In Time

(Star Wars: The Force Awakens)

(IT)

(Star Wars: The Last Jedi)

April

Wolf Children

Moonlight

The Red Turtle

Europa Report

Avengers: Infinity War

May

A Quiet Place

Alien

Deadpool 2

The Conjuring

BOOKS

January

A Tale For The Time Being | Ruth Ozeki

La Belle Sauvage | Phillip Pullman [Fin]

London Falling | Paul Cornell

A Swiftly Tilting Planet | Madeline L’Tengle [Fin]

In Other Lands | Sarah Rees Brennan [Fin]

They Both Die In The End | Adam Silvera [Fin]

Thunderhead | Neal Shusterman [Fin]

The Sun and Her Flowers | Rupi Kaur [Fin]

The Paper Magician | Charlie Holmberg 

February

A Tale For The Time Being | Ruth Ozeki [Fin]

The Diviners | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Paper Magician | Charlie Holmberg [Fin]

We Were Liars | E Lockhart [Fin]

Lair of Dreams | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

The Goblin Emperor | Katherine Addison

I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death | Maggie O’Farrell [Fin]

Norse Mythology | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Phasma | Delilah Dawson

Caraval | Stephanie Garber

March

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

The Goblin Emperor | Katherine Addison [Fin]

Phasma | Delilah Dawson [Fin]

Caraval | Stephanie Garber [Fin]

Tess of the Road | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

Clariel | Garth Nix [Fin]

Seraphina | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

Before The Devil Breaks You | Libba Bray

April

Before The Devil Breaks You | Libba Bray [Fin]

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan

Salt to the Sea | Ruta Sepetys  [Fin]

The Wicked Deep | Shea Ernshaw  [Fin]

Hamlet | William Shakespeare  [Fin]

Fangirl | Rainbow Rowell [Fin]

The Scorpion Rules | Erin Bow [Fin]

The Thief | Megan Whalen Turner [Fin]

Hear The Wind Sing | Haruki Murakami [Fin]

May

The Tropic of Serpents | Marie Brennan [Fin]

Only Human | Sylvain Neuvel [Fin]

World War Z | Max Brooks [Fin]

The Queen of Attolia | Megan Whalen Turner [Fin]

The Stand | Stephen King

Shadow Scale | Rachel Hartman [Fin]

London Falling | Paul Cornell [Fin]

Goldenhand | Garth Nix [Fin]

PODCASTS

January:

N/A

February

N/A

March

The Bright Sessions (Eps 30-41)

Wolf 359 (Eps 5-8)

King Falls AM (Eps 5-6)

April

The Bright Sessions (Eps 41-52)

Wolf 359 (Eps 8-13)

King Falls AM (Eps 6-7)

Penumbra Podcast (Episode 1)

May

Wolf 359 (Eps 14-49)

The Bright Sessions (53-55)

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January:

Planet Earth II

Devilman Crybaby

Steven Universe s4

Brooklyn Nine-Nine s1

RWBY s5

(Stranger Things 2)

The Orville

(The X-Files)

The Flash s3

February

The Flash s3

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Gifted

The Good Place

The Runaways

AP Bio

March

Voltron s5

(Soul Eater)

Battlestar Galactica

(Sailor Moon)

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Cards

Bride of the Ancient Magus

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress

April

Battlestar Galactica

Legion

The Flash

AP Bio

(Yu Yu Hakusho)

Persona 5 Animation

Westworld s2

May

Westworld s2

Legion

The Flash

Lost In Space s1

Persona 5 Animation

Siren s1

Steven Universe s5

VIDEO GAMES

January:

Prey (18 hrs)

Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds (20 hrs, FIN)

Monster Hunter World (8 hrs)

February

Monster Hunter World (25 hrs)

Kingdom Hearts BBS (1 hr)

March

Monster Hunter World (25 hrs) 

Witcher 3 [FIN JFC]

Stellaris

Life Is Strange

April

Life Is Strange

Final Fantasy 12: Zodiac Age

Dragon Age: Inquisition (Dany - 98 hrs; Brienne - 5 hrs)

May

Dragon Age: Inquisition (Dany - 138 hrs - FIN; Brienne - 5 hrs)

SOMA

Witcher 3: Hearts of Stone DLC

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January:

Just the One, Two by Panny | Jessica Jones | Jessica/Trish | 10k They say you should never meet your heroes, but what about when you've been sort of in love with them since they broke your mother's marble sink? 

Daylight by @notbecauseofvictories | Star Wars | Rey/Luke | 3k “Can I ask what you think it is you’re doing?” Luke says. His voice is only a little strangled. The silence that falls in its place is awkward, thick as sand. “Oh,” Rey stutters out. “Is that not—?” “No,” Luke grits out. “Please put your clothes back on.”

run all the lights by @fahye | Captive Prince | Damen/Laurent | 8.5k He’s a slim, too-pretty boy of twenty, and the men of this particular underworld talk about him as though he’s an open flame, a sparking engine near a pool of gasoline: volatile, and not to be handled. Kid’s got balls of sheer fucking steel, Damen’s contact said. Which must be true, because having just lost a race against Damen for pink slips, Laurent looks him straight in the eye and says, “Double or nothing?” in a voice like vodka poured straight from the freezer.

They Say It's Mighty Fine by apocryphal | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 23k "Hello. This is Alpha Vernon Boyd, calling from Camp Remus about—""Derek?" Talia asks, confused. "You're calling about Derek? Is he okay? What happened?""Oh, boy." Melissa blows out a breath. "All right. Is he hurt?""He's been there for two hours, what could he possibly have—" John pauses. "Hang on, Camp Remus? Like the werewolf camp?"

León de mi Corazón by clockheartedcrocodile | The Exorcist | Tomas/Marcus | 16k | Not for the first time, Marcus wishes he were a poet. Tomas drinks up beautiful words like wine, practically thrives on them. He thinks of his own clumsy attempt at a letter, begun and re-begun until the whole thing had been consigned to the rubbish bin. It was laughable.Besides, he thinks, Tomas and Jessica wrote letters because they could not have each other.“You have me,” he says, quiet enough that Tomas won’t wake.

Things Worth Knowing by Femme (femmequixotic) | HP | Drarry | 163k After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems.

Under the Covers by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 72k Steve is (maybe) a little bit still in love with Nancy Wheeler and (maybe) trying to figure himself out-- between the night terrors and the babysitting and the general weirdness that is Hawkins, Indiana-- before he graduates.Billy Hargrove fits in there somewhere (probably).

the party never ends by brawlite | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 7k Billy wants a fight from Steve Harrington. He'll do just about anything to get it, too.

February

what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way) by brawlite, ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | WIP | Billy knew Steve Harrington would ruin him. Steve knew Billy Hargrove was nothing but trouble.They never expected it to end up like this.

don't just stand there by brawlite | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 3.5k Steve kisses a stranger in a club in a desperate attempt to spurn an advance from an unwanted admirer. Turns out, it's not really a stranger at all.

there's nothing wrong with me (loving you, baby) by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 4.6k | “Mr. Hargrove,It has come to HR’s attention that you have, once again, used company property incorrectly. Please refrain from using the break room as a work out facility during your lunch hour. If you are in need a gym recommendation, I'm happy to provide you some. Remove your weights from the lower cabinets at your earliest convenience.Regards, S. Harrington”This isn’t the first ridiculous email Steve has had to send to Hargrove, and Steve sincerely doubts it will be his last.

in waves by lymricks | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 45k Plant your feet, Billy wants to scream at him. I’m going to bowl you over.

can't you see them? (can't you feel them?) by ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 8k | They're breathing down your neck.

Little Pockets of Upturned Loneliness by SeptemberEndings | Stranger Things | Gen | 5k | Months pass, and nothing bad happens to Will.

isizathu by black_nata | Black Panther | T’Challa/Erik | 8k |  "What do you want?" T'Challa whispers. Almost like he's pleading. All Erik wants to do is wrap his fist around that smooth throat and make him beg some more.

falling for you in hawkins, indi-fucking-ana by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 31k | Billy gets his shit together. Steve figures some stuff out. They fall in love.

thank god you see me the way you do by LazyBaker | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 6k |  Five times Billy has had sex and one time he made love.

Secrets Make This Town by Oop | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy/Hopper | 5k | Hopper knows that Billy Hargrove sucks cock like he was born for it and he knows Steve Harrington is hung like a pornstar. He knows these by accident.

March

another city (better than this one) by notbecauseofvictories | Star Wars | Gen, Ben Solo & Lando | 6k | “You really should be more creative with your aliases,” Lando says mildly. “I’ve had every anagram of ‘Skywalker’ flagged since the first time you tried to run away from home.”

his hands so cold they shake by plinys | FBAWTFT | Percival/Credence | 4k |  A soul mate is meant to be a blessing, but Percival feels anything but blessed.

We Keep Meeting by scioscribe | Hamilton | Hamilton & Burr | 4.5k |  In which Hamilton finds himself a little more non-stop than even he expected, and Burr doesn't know why he's surprised that even death can't make Alexander Hamilton lie down and be quiet.

There Aren't Any Stars in the Sky by Ambrosia | Star Wars | Reylo | 4k | “Why are you here?” Rey asks. She appears to be meditating. Even his muscles remember the basics. Her eyes are peacefully closed.“Your mind is most open when you Jedi meditate, ‘letting everything go’,” he tells her, striding around in a vicious, predatory circle. “Which you would know if you had an at least halfway-competent teacher.”

Found Wanting by sellertape | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 2k | It didn’t take superpowers to know what Mark wanted him to say. He wanted him to lie. It didn’t take superpowers to get Damien to do what you wanted.

pull out the insides by SpineAndSpite | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k | “Stop,” Damien says again, more insistent this time.“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Mark's heart pounds in his ears and he sees Damien’s hands shaking. God. They shouldn’t have started talking about sex. Shouldn’t have filled in the colors and shadows to this pencil outline of a sketch forming between them. They shouldn’t have given it a name.

Life Is Not A Love Song by DetectiveJoan | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k |  “Oh, you know the old saying — once bitten, twice mildly paranoid that everyone you’ve ever met is secretly working for the shady government agency that kidnapped you.” Mark's voice is sing-song through the dressing room door.

I Want You To Want Me by Ryuutchi | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 4k | Food, scotch, sex-- I don’t know, Damien; there's a lot of good things in life.

(coming for the king, that's) a far cry by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 17k |  billy and steve 'pretend' to be gay boyfriends in love for what is essentially just extremely small-time personal gain.

all these to me by lymricks | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 9k |  Three times Steve and Billy share (a bed, a meal, the truth) and one time they share (a virus).

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya | Yuri On Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | 197k | ‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

no need to say goodbye by smolsarcasticraspberry | Voltron | Allura/Shiro | 13k | The juniberry tree blossoms every seven years, and when it does, a gateway opens up to another world - a world that Shiro first explores as a child. There, he meets Allura.

(shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 50k | The most dangerous thing walking around Hawkins goes by the name Billy Hargrove. And he fucking knows it.

April

so this guy walks into a bar by MasterOfAllImagination | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 2.5k | “Bourbon,” Hermann says, hooking his cane on the edge of the bar and sliding by degrees onto a stool.“Straight up?” the bartender asks.“Please.” Does he look like the kind of man who enjoys having his nostrils fumigated by undiluted whiskey? “On the rocks.”

Seeing in Color by what_alchemy | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann |  The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work.

Strong Enough by therealraewest | Pacific Rim | Newt/Hermann | 4k |  "I would like to speak to Newt."

Laying Siege by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 8k | “Marry me instead,” Jaime said.

Fool by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 15k | Jaime didn’t really expect things to go well when he rode north, but after all, they hadn’t been going well otherwise, so it wasn’t that much of a change.

heartstrings by taylortot | Miraculous Ladybug | Marinette/Adrien | 60k |  one of marinette’s rare unlucky days turns into something treacherous. thanks to a certain cat, the real danger passes, but there are other things to be more afraid of. her heart, for example, might be one of them.

Words by astolat | GOT | Jaime/Brienne | 10k |  “So we’ll look for you in the North," Robb Stark said, "coming to pay your debt."

ashes to ashes, dust to dust by romanoff | Marvel | Tony/Steve | 2k | Series | Steve and Tony seek closure with a conversation.

nanna by biggrstaffbunch | Thor | Thor/Loki | 1k |  Thor, after.

just in it for the game by grim_lupine | Thor | Thor/Loki | 6k |  “It's excellent rehabilitation for my image,” Loki says, widening his eyes. “They love you, and because of that they'll trust me. You wouldn't ruin this for me, would you?” 

May

these fragments by Wildehack (Tyleet) | Avengers | Loki/Valkyrie | 4k | “Someone has to survive this day,” Thor grinds out, pressed briefly close to her by the fight.“Someone will,” she tells him.

Make Me by Ajaxthegreat | Star Wars | Hux/Ben Solo | 52k | A genocidal megalomaniac Emperor and a very slutty smuggler/occasional Resistance spy walk into a bar.

cherry pie by brawlite, ToAStranger | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 61k | illy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better.Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.***

the ghost and good queen val by Wildehack (Tyleet) | Thor | Loki/Valkyrie/Thor | 8k |  “Oh my god,” Korg says. “You did! You saw a ghost!”

Suspicious Minds by astolat | DA | Iron Bull/Dorian, Inquisitor/Solas | 4k | “Hm,” Bull said, thoughtfully. “Something I’ve been curious about. Solas.”“You want to talk about another man now?” Dorian said.

  By The Still Waters by emilyenrose | DA | Fenhawke; Inquisitory/Solas | 83k | Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.

Some Things Are Certain by cupiscent | Star Wars | Anakin/Obi-Wan | 7k | Detained far from where he should be by random chance, Obi-Wan meets an unusual slave.

For Better or Worse by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Mark | 22k |  Wherein Damien and Mark are soulmates, and this changes enough.**

killing me to love you by mostlikelydefinentlymad | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Mark | 2k |  Mark waits by the phone.

give my reflection a break by autoeuphoric (FreezingRayne) | The Bright Sessions | Damien/Joan | 5k | When the bell rings, she almost doesn’t answer. She hasn’t ordered anything and it’s too early for carolers. She does not speak to her neighbors, and she’s not about to start today.Joan gets up and answers the door anyway. Because she wants to.

Try, Try, Try Again by anticyclone | The Bright Sessions | 8k | Joan gets mugged. Damien interrupts. Interrupting is kind of his thing.

sharp shock to your soft side by agivise | The Bright Sessions | Mark & Damien | 22k | The universe is a cruel, unforgiving bitch, and honestly, he's a little sick and tired of it. Sure, he deserves it or whatever, but still, totally uncool, universe. Real poor timing.

Scarier Things by starkraving | The Bright Sessions | Mark & Damien | 5k |  Mark drags Damien back across the country in what amounts to the most karmic reverse kidnapping in history, but stopping to take hipster pics of scenic overlooks will not protect you from the scary stuff lurking in the liminal space behind highway truck-stops.

Patient Intake by starkraving | The Bright Sessions | Joan & Damien | 9k |  ssume Joan takes a less passive approach to Damien’s influence in her life. Assume she’s sitting in her car with the engine running and he’s on the sidewalk in front of her. Assume there’s six months between this moment and the moment she first met him.  

Artifice by buttpatrol | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 23k | A story told in parts about colour palettes, identity, robot uprisings, sensational trials, space, and messy love.

blow your mongrel mind by endquestionmark | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Jacobi | 13k | The first time Eiffel sees Colonel Warren Kepler — shockingly real, after so many days spent somewhere between delusion and despair — what strikes him most is how still Kepler is.

Calling Out My Name by vlasdygoth | Wolf 359 | Jacobi/Kepler | 2.5k | Five times Kepler called Jacobi a pet name, and one time Jacobi managed to pull it off on him.

and twice as bright by endquestionmark | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 6k |  “Eiffel.” Very quiet, hardly audible through the echoes. “What is it like?” 

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January:

2017 [Multifandom Mashup]

MCU Films // ♫Can't You Hear Me Knocking (12 Strong trailer version)♫

Arya & Brienne // The Rules Were Wrong

play with fire [Black Butler]

kylo ren & rey【 In a Dream, in a Nightmare 】TLJ spoilers

Stranger Things || Above and Below

Jim Hopper || Do you ever feel cursed?

Stranger Things || Sweet Dreams

February

Stranger Things || Time After Time 

Darth Vader // The Force is strong with you

Game of Thrones || We Live In A Beautiful World

Allison Argent | Look What You Made Me Do

Kylo Ren and Rey l Hearts A Mess

►Stranger Things | Stay Alive

not alone | stranger things

Will Byers || You're home now

March

Voltron | Cosmic Love 

Voltron | Broken Crown

River, MARVEL. [2k]

Voltron | Radioactive

S O L D I E R ll Voltron AMV

Loki // Hustler

a morphine toast

Bucky x Steve || Brooklyn (Go Hard)

Fullmetal Alchemist || Brother

Anime Mix - Legends Never Die [AMV]

Death Parade AMV - Feeling Good

AMV - Crucible of Souls - Bestamvsofalltime Anime MV ♫

[AMV] Transmutayshun - FullMetall Alchemist: Brotherhood

AMV Dazzling Inferno

April

kylo ren || animal

FLESH || Yuri on Ice

Roman&Peter || Piece by piece

◼️ quentin&eliot; give me love

Hannibal/Will - Take Me Back

Kylo Ren // In The End

(Marvel) Avengers | The End

Thomas & Newt ✘ Could I have saved him?

Multifandom || Wake Up

The Avengers | The Final Curtain

(SW) Darth Vader | A Light In Darkness

loki laufeyson | saturn (+ragnarok)

Loki - Birthright

May

Infinity War | I Was Here 

Avengers: Infinity War

MARVEL || Bohemian Rhapsody

River, MARVEL. [2k]

The Expanse || A War Built On Lies

Avengers || Together

MARVEL || Lions Inside (collab w/ djcprod)

COMIC FILMS - Bohemian Rhapsody

Pixar: The Complete Supercut (2018)

Let Us Be Brave

👑black panther👑 

X-Men || Revolution (ft. Ruelle)

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January:

Choir & Crickets | Jeff Russo

Black Lung Heartache | Joe Bonamassa

Undiscovered First | Feist

Tribe Society - Kings

MIX - MAURICE RAVEL Bolero

Never Give Up | Sia

Silvertongue | Young the Giant

Vikings Soundtrack

February

Sweet Dreams | Mark Hadley

A Hazy Shade of Winter | The Bangles

White Rabbit | Jefferson Starship

Stranger Things Theme | Kyle Dixon

Go To War | Nothing More

Does Your Heart Break | The Brilliance

Please Speak Well of Me | The Weepies

Smallest Light | Ingrid Michaelson

Flying | Cody Fry

My Friends | Oh Wonder

New Rules | Dua Lipa

Young As The Morning Old As the Sea | Passengers

Never Be The Same | Camila Cabello

Slow Down Love | Louis the Child

Come Together | Gary Clark Jr.

Don’t Think Twice | Utada Hikaru

Your Tongue Like The Sun In My Mouth | Sophie B. Hawkins

&Run | Sir Sly

Giver | K.Flay

Black Panther Soundtrack

March

Daddy Issues | The Neighbourhood

Whatever It Takes | Imagine Dragons

Carry Me Back To Her Arms | Jessica Curry

The Healing | Gary Clark Jr.

These Days | The Black Keys

No Roots | Alice Merton

Susanne Sundfør | The Golden Age

The Blue Whale | Steven Price

Everywhere' by J2

Sinners | Barns Courtney

Sam Tinnesz - Play With Fire (feat. Yacht Money)

Here | Junna

Robert DeLong - Favorite Color Is Blue (Lyric Video) ft. K.Flay

Steve James | Warrior

Hold My Liquor | Kanye West

Sweatpants | Childish Gambino

April

The Sailor Song | Autoheart

Steve James - Warrior (feat. LIGHTS)

Mother Mother - Reaper Man

Hello | Via Audio

Beyoncé | Back to Black

James Brown - It's A Man's Man's Man's World

Emeli Sande - Daddy

Nathan Angelo - Leigh

"In The End" Linkin Park Cinematic Cover (feat. Jung Youth & Fleurie)

May

Black Space/Stand By Me | Imagine Dragons

Dear God | Lawless

Sinners and Saints | Andrea Wasse

Ghost | Natasha Blume

Peter Gundry - Tales of the Night

Metal Gear Solid V Medley: Quiet's Theme / Sins of the Father | Freya Catherine

SOWULO - Yule

WOLVEN STORM ORCHESTRAL COVER (Witcher 3 - Priscilla's Song)

Amulet | Copal

Holding Out for a Hero | Nothing But Thieves

WRITTEN FIC

January:

N/A

February

Everybody's Looking For Something | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 4,790 words | On the third weekend of May during their last year at Hawkins High, Steve Harrington throws a party.Billy crashes it.

taste you on my tongue | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 2,290 words | “You’ve never felt pleasure like it, Steve,” an old girlfriend had told him once, her eyes bright with memory. Steve shrugged. “No vampires here, though.” 

March

Home | Star Wars | Reylo | 1,670 words | “Rey,” he says into the quiet. “Just drive.”

April

hits like a drum | Stargate Atlantis | Mcshep | 3,507 words | “Believe it or not, having something with sharp teeth breathing down your neck is not actually conducive to one’s thought process.” John barks out a loud, abrupt noise that might be laughter, his breath tickling the hairs at the base of Rodney’s neck. “I’d have thought it would be good motivation.”

feed the hunger | Stranger Things | Steve/Billy | 1,792 words | “Thought you wanted to fuck me, Hargrove,” Steve whispers, and presses a sweet kiss to the hinge of Billy's jaw. “Now's your chance.”

Apotheosis | Marvel - INFINITY WAR | Thor/Loki, Steve/Pepper/Tony | 4,450 words | Grief, a story told in three parts.

May

N/A

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

2018

February

We Could Be Heroes

Daddy Issues

March

N/A

April

Newmann 

May

danien: back in black

[allbestnet]

232 Book Recommendations From Derek Sivers

Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want by Nicholas Epley

So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William Irvine

The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber

The Dip by Seth Godin

Happy by Derren Brown

Au Contraire: Figuring Out the French by Gilles Asselin and Ruth Mastron

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

Total Recall by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now by Gordon Livingston

Zero to One by Peter Thiel and Blake Masters

Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches by Marvin Harris

The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster by Darren Hardy

On Writing Well by William Zinsser

The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Fluent Forever by Gabriel Wyner

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

When Cultures Collide by Richard D. Lewis

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman

Show Your Work by Austin Kleon

Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Antifragile by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal

Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield

Quiet by Susan Cain

What Technology Wants by Kevin Kelly

Do the Work by Steven Pressfield

What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith

The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman

Drive by Daniel Pink

Switch by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt

Influence by Robert Cialdini

Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes

The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

The Smartest Investment Book You'll Ever Read by Daniel R. Solin

The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki

The Paradox of Choice - Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz

Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

The Art of Profitability by Adrian Slywotzky

Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond

Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

The Geography of Genius by Eric Weiner

A Mind for Numbers by Barbara Oakley

Smartcuts by Shane Snow

Superhuman by Habit by Tynan

The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath

How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams

5 Elements of Effective Thinking by Edward B. Burger and Michael Starbird

The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin

Mastery by Robert Greene

Mastery by George Leonard

The Little Book of Talent by Daniel Coyle

The Developing World by Fredrik Härén

Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney

Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz

Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer

Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner

Seeking Wisdom by Peter Bevelin

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Art and Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland

Start Small, Stay Small by Rob Walling and Mike Taber

On Writing by Stephen King

The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner

The Investor's Manifesto by William J. Bernstein

How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer

Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives by David Eagleman

The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle

Ignore Everybody by Hugh MacLeod

Tribes by Seth Godin

How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

Brain Rules by John Medina

You, Inc - The Art of Selling Yourselfby Harry Beckwith

How to Get Rich by Felix Dennis

The Innovator's Solution by Clayton Christensen

Small is the New Big by Seth Godin

Getting Things Done by David Allen

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Grit by Angela Duckworth

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Fabe and Elaine Mazlish

The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gopnik

The Inevitable by Kevin Kelly

Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by Anders Ericsson

Deep Work by Cal Newport

Geography of Time by Robert Levine

How to Learn a Foreign Language by Paul Pimsleur

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Choose Yourself! by James Altucher

No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs by Dan S. Kennedy

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

The Passionate Programmer by Chad Fowler

Fail-Safe Investingby Harry Browne

Poke the Box by Seth Godin

The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss

Cognitive Surplus by Clay Shirky

Hackers & Painters by Paul Graham

Confessions of a Public Speaker by Scott Berkun

I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes by Gilovich and Belsky

What Would Google Do? by Jeff Jarvis

CrowdSourcing by Jeff Howe

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin

Wikinomics by Don Tapscott and Anthony Williams

Meatball Sundae by Seth Godin

Don't Make Me Think by Steve Krug

Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t by Steven Pressfield

The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need by Andrew Tobias

Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chödrön

Germany: Unraveling an Enigma by Greg Nees

Give and Take by Adam M. Grant

The Bed of Procrustes by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Making Ideas Happen by Scott Belsky

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

Ikigai by Sebastian Marshall

Wired for Story by Lisa Cron

Pragmatic Programmer by Andy Hunt and David Thomas

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius 

You Are Not So Smart by David McRaney

The Lean Startup by Eric Ries

Making a Good Brain Great by Daniel G. Amen

Business Stripped Bare by Richard Branson

Talent Is Overrated by Geoff Colvin

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz

Overachievement by John Eliot

The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky

The Culture Code by Clotaire Rapaille

The Four Pillars of Investing by William Bernstein

Here Comes Everybody by Clay Shirky

The Culting of Brands by Douglas Atkin

Execution by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan

Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne

The Sense of Style by Steven Pinker

How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life by Russ Roberts

Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey

The Story of French by Jean-Benoit Nadeau and Julie Barlow

Island by Aldous Huxley

Ready for Anything by David Allen

Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe

The Now Habit by Neil Fiore

Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield

A Gift to My Children by Jim Rogers

Linchpin by Seth Godin

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

Nudge by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein

Being Logical: A Guide to Good Thinking by D.Q. McInerny

Pomodoro Technique Illustrated by Staffan Nöteberg

Pragmatic Thinking and Learning by Andy Hunt

The Great Formula by Mark Joyner

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Lucky Or Smart? by Bo Peabody

The China Study by Campbell and Campbell

The Power of Less by Leo Babuta

Cut to the Chase by Stuart Levine

Know-How by Ram Charan with Geri Willigan

The Art of Project Management by Scott Berkun

Mindware: Tools for Smart Thinking by Richard Nisbett

Never Let Go by Dan John

In Pursuit of Silence by George Prochnik

The Laws of Subtraction by Matthew May

Drop Dead Healthy by A. J. Jacobs

Little Bets by Peter Sims

One Simple Idea by Stephen Key

Focus by Leo Babauta

The Upside of Irrationality by Dan Ariely

The Profit Zone by Adrian Slywotzky

Speaking of India by Craig Sorti

Losing My Virginity : How I've Survived, Had Fun, and Made a Fortune Doing Business My Way by Richard Branson

Leading an Inspired Life by Jim Rohn

And Never Stop Dancing by Gordon Livingston

The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives by Leonard Mlodinow

Simple Rules: How to Thrive in a Complex World by Donald Sull

Quirkology by Richard Wiseman

Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark

A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger

Make It Stick by Peter Brown

The Power of No by James and Claudia Altucher

How to Learn and Memorize French Vocabulary by Anthony Metivier

The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande

Hiring Smart by Pierre Mornell

Discover Your Inner Economist by Tyler Cowen

Causing a Scene by Charlie Todd

Born to Run by Christopher McDougall

How to be a Billionaire by Martin Fridson

Enough by John Bogle

Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson

Reality Check by Guy Kawasaki

Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The Obsolete Employee by Michael Russer

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Ecker

The Future of Almost Everything by Patrick Dixon

Wilde in America by David M. Friedman

Complexity: A Guided Tour by Melanie Mitchell

Your Memory by Kenneth L. Higbee

The Philosophical Baby by Alison Gopnik

Hire With Your Head by Lou Adler

The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work by Alain De Botton

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell

China Road by Rob Gifford

Hot Commodities by Jim Rogers

Me, Inc. by Gene Simmons

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

Program or Be Programmed by Douglas Rushkoff and Leland Purvis

The Four Filters Invention of Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger by Bud Labitan

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami

Confessions of a Serial Entrepreneur by Stuart Skorman

Life Without Lawyers by Philip K. Howard

The Productive Programmer by Neal Ford

Crash Proof 2.0 by Peter Schiff

Rapt by Winifred Gallagher

Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton

A Bull in China by Jim Rogers

Founders at Work by Jessica Livingston

Seeing What Others Don't by Gary Klein

Flex: Do Something Different by Ben Fletcher and Karen Pine

Cambodia's Curse by Joel Brinkley

Conspiracy of the Rich by Robert Kiyosaki

The Think Big Manifesto by Michael Port and Mina Samuels

[worstzombiehunter-ever-blog]

[400 Things You Probably Never Wanted to Know About Kris]

1. Name: Kristoph Willhem Becket 2. Nickname(s): Kris 3. Birthday: August 13th, 1993 4. That makes you (age): 24 5. Where were you born (city): Funny story; my family lived in a different area of Florida at the time but mom was supposed to see a specialist in Miami before I was born, but I ended up being premature because she had me on the way there in the car, in traffic. Even back then I guess I had decided I wanted to be in the city, heh. 6. Location right now (planet ): Astoria, Oregon   7. Shoe size: 9 8. How many piercings?: Septum, left eyebrow, tongue, 5 in right ear, 4 in the left 9. Tattoos?: Twelve total; full left hand (skeletal/bone. Lilly), four on the same arm, (stars, skulls, human heart,music notes), right hip socket (solid black star), left ribcage (German text), back of the neck (black star), collarbone (stars}, right forearm (black cross), left forearm (Dates -his siblings birthdays, his parents’ anniversary, the date of the outbreak},   10. When you wake up you're: Dead to the world, not a morning person 11. When you're about to sleep you're: Paranoid as hell 12. Zodiac sign: Leo 13. Chinese sign: Rooster 14. Righty or Lefty: Right 15. Innie or Outie:The former 16. School: College dropout

Section Two: Looks

17. Nationality:  German/Finnish 18. Hair colour:  Very blonde 20. Weight: 130lbs 21. Height:  6'0 22. Braces? Nope 23. Glasses? No

Section Three: Private Life

24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? No 25. If so, who? 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? Not at this point 27. Who has a crush on you?  Nobody? 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? No 29. Who was your first kiss:  Right out of high school, some guy at a club. Not overly memorable. 30. Who was your last kiss: Marcus 31. Are you a virgin?  HA. no. 32. Ever had a threesome before? No; one person is enough to deal with generally. 33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?:  ...no? Is this some sex-related thing I don't know about? ...now I sort of want to know. 34. Have you ever been in love?  Yes, very much so. 35. Broken any hearts?  Probably; doesn't everybody? But I never meant to. 36. Got your heart broken?  Yeah, a few times. The big one though, he didn't mean to. 37. Ever liked a friend? Yeah? 38. What happened? We nearly got married until the world went to hell.

Section Four: Past Relationships

39. How many relationships have you been in? Dated a lot? Actual relationships; a handful or so. 40. How many were serious enough to count: Two or three really 41. Who were those serious ones: Nick, Angelo, and Marcus; in that order. 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: ...Marcus 43. What made them different:  Everything. Just everything. 44. What happened:  He died and came back, I wasn't there. I still don't know if I would have wanted to be or not. 45. Best boy/girlfriend: Marcus 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: Angie was a jerk, but he was a hot jerk. 47. Ever been kissed: Yeah? 48. Who do you want back: ....a lot of people. Relationship-wise? Marc. 49. Who do you regret: Oh, I could give you a laundry list but...whatever. 50. Why?: I'm good at bad decisions.

Section Five: Favourites

51. Song:  I love classical music; it's relaxing. 52. Movie:  Donnie Darko amuses me way too much. 53. Food: God I miss really good veggie burgers - but being vegan doesn't work when you're starving. 54. Drink: Dr.Pepper...or any soda really; I need the caffeine. 55. Store: uh? hell if I know 56. Television show: ...I used to really like Twilight Zone..now it seems ironic somehow. 57. Holiday: Halloween 58. Book:  Most anything by Neil Gaiman 59. Ice cream: I don't really like it 60. Sweets: Oreos...I would do so much for some Oreos 61. Crisps:  Never ate much of those 62. Type of music:  Classical 63. Artist: Salvador Dali 64. Word: 'Hell', usually used muttered under my breath, yeah 65. Time of day:  Midday 66. Dressing:  Like...the stuff you put on a salad? I don't use those. 67. Alcoholic drink: Anything sugary 68. Colour(s):  Bright colors, specifically purple and blue. 69. Piece of clothing: These days my boots 70. Character:  ?? I don't even know 71. Smell: The ocean 72. Shampoo:  Any time I have shampoo and can wash my hair I don't even care what it is. 73. Soap:  See the above answer. 74. Smiley:  >_> 75. Board game: Battleship 76. Sport: ...not a sports person. 77. Number: 0 78. Quote: "No great artist ever see things as they are" - Edgar Degas 79. Animal: Dogs 80. Actor: I had a really bad crush on Ewan Mcgregor when I was younger 82. Vegetable: Anything; I'm not picky. 83. Fruit: Pineapple 84. Place to be: Anywhere safe 85. Thing in your room: My notebook 86. Gum: Minty stuff, doesn't matter what kind; the fruit flavored stuff is gross. 87. Shape:  ? uh...stars? I have a few of them tattoed on me so I guess it counts 88. Country:  Here, I guess; I never got to see Germany or Finnland. 89. Mall: Back home in Miami there were a few, wasn't ever much for wandering around them. 90. Car: I miss my car; it's dead now. 91. Boy's name: I like mine? 92. Girl's name:  My mom's name is nice; Cammilla 93. Family member:  Seriously? Uh...I guess I got along the best with my younger brother. 94. Restaurant: Trying to think about it just makes me hungry 95. Movie place:  Don't like theaters 96. Person to go to the movies with: Marc 97. Noise:  Crickets; they're so calming, or people breathing when they sleep. 98. Brand of shoe:  I don't think I have one. 99. Brand of clothing:  Again, no preference. 100. Body part of a chicken:  ...their creepy little eyes? 101. Swear word: Fuck 102. Month: August 103. Possession: My notebook 104. Team: Not a sports person 105. Season: Summer 106. Radio station: Right now any of them that work 107. Magazine:  Used to read the trashy tabloid ones 108. Favorite grade: I liked my first year in college, it went downhill from there. 109. Least favorite grade:  9th, that was a mess. 110. Teacher: My high school art teacher 111. Least favorite teacher:  ...10th grade geometry; Ms. Allen. Urgh. 112. Subject: Art 113. Subject to talk about:  People

Section Six: Family

114. Who's your mum?: Cammilla Becket; otherwise known as the ruler of the family. 115. Who's your dad?: Felix Becket; walking encyclopedia of every old story known to man 116. Any step-parents?:  No 117. Any brothers?:  Yes; Jorge, Andrew, and Fillip 118. Any Sisters?:  Annalee 120. Coolest:  Me, of course. 121. Loudest:  Easily Jorge 122. Best relative: My aunt Lydia; she's hilarious and bakes cookies. 123. Worse relative: ...uncle Gustoph; that man is terrifying 124. Do you get along with your parents?  I confused them a lot, I wish...things had been better. 125. With your siblings? With Jorge and Anna, yeah, my older brothers were disappointed in me I think. 126. Does anyone understand you? I don't even understand me sometimes 127. Do you have any pets?:  Not anymore 128. If so, what kind and name? I used to have a cat named Chester 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?:  I'd like to have a dog again; makes things less lonely.

Section Seven: School

131. Are you still in school?  No 132. Did you drop out?: Yeah, from college 133. Your current GPA:  ...don't have one. 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?:  None of these apply. 135. ABC's?:  What? I know what those are. 136. Favorite class: Art theory or art history was fun too. 137. Play any sports at school?:  Nope 138. Are you popular?  I was, I guess, I had friends. 139. Favorite memory: From school? It's all a blur. 140. Most humiliating moment: Most of my high school days. So many of them. 141. Most funniest moment:  ....falling down the steps freshman year; it's hilarious now, was mortifying then. 142. Most scared moment: Nearly getting myself murdered by a really unpleasant guy on the football team.

Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear

145. Chicken: ....nothing? 146. Dog:  Warm and fluffy. 147. Christina Aguilera: Radios played her music way too much. 148. Ricky Martin: Ahem. Well he did look really good in leather pants. 149. 50 cent: My neighbors were obsessed with blaring this all night. 150. Poop: ...those emoji things 151. Beach: I miss it so much. 152. Desert: What the world is turning into 153. Water: Necessity 154. Osama: A name? 155. Love:  ...lonely. 156. Your little brother: I hope he's still around.   157. Butt: I don't have any overwhelming opinions here. 158. Clowns: Mildly scary. 159. Wonder: Better than giving up. 16o. Brown: Mom's eyes. 161. Banana: Food, or those gross smoothies back home. 162. Sex: Fun, but absent from my life anymore. 163. Parents: Regrets I wish I could change now. 164. Homosexuals: The subtext to my sexuality. 165. God: Gave up on things around here I'm pretty sure.

Section Nine: Do you believe in

166. God: Maybe, but I don't think they're around much anymore. 167. Heaven: I hope it's real, some people I've lost deserve to be there. 168. Devil: I guess you have to have that one around for the other to be real. 169. Hell: ...I've seen a few places that could almost count as that. 170: Boogy man: Things that creep around in the dark and attack you? Sounds too much like Walkers.   171. Closet Monsters: Those at least stopped bothering me in grade school. 172. Fortune tellings:  Maybe, but I don't want to know the future. 173. Magic:  Sure, why not. 174. Love at first sight:  I want to. 175. Ghosts: I feel haunted a lot so, yeah, I do. 176. Voo-doo dolls: Never gave that one much thought, I guess? 177. Reincarnation: In this world? I almost hope not. 178. Yourself:  ...at times.

Section Ten: Do you

179. Smoke:  Yeah. 180. Do drugs:  No 181. Drink alcohol: Used to, not much anymore. 182. Cuss:  Far too much. 183. Sing in the shower:  Showers are too quick for that now. 184. Like school: I didn't mind parts of it. 185. Want to get married: ....I did at one point. 186. Type with all of your fingers:  Yeah 187. Think you're attractive:  I have my good points. 188. Drink and drive:  Nah 189. Snore: Probably 190. Sleep walk: No 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: I used to; sunsets make me uneasy now.

Section Eleven: Have you ever

192. Flashed someone:  Maybe when I was drunk. 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: Oh yeah. 194. Told that person how you felt: What person? -That- person? Yeah. 195. Been arrested: No, surprisingly. 196. Gone to jail or juve:  Nope. 197. Skateboarded: Too clumsy. 198. Skinny dipped: Yes 199. Rock climbed: I don't have a deathwish. 200. Killed someone: God no; I've never even killed one of the already dead ones. 201. Watched porn: ...who hasn't? 202. Gone on a road trip: A few. 203. Went out of the country: No 204. Talked back to an adult: Ha..yeah. 205. Broken a law: Sure, not any big ones though. 206. Got pulled over:  A couple of times. 208: Cried to get out of trouble: ...that was my main go-to as a kid. 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder:  Yeah, sometimes it's all I knew to do. 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: No 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: I would say gross but..things change; these days that doesn't even matter. 213. Moon someone: Maybe? Again, if it happened I was drunk. 214. Shop-lifted:  No 215. Worked at McDonald's: No 216. Eaten a dog:  No, but that's not to say that I wouldn't if I had to. 217. Give money to a homeless person: Yeah. 218. Glued your hand to yourself:  Surprisingly no. 219. Kissed someone of the same sex:  ...yes, on many occasions. 220. Had a one night stand: A few 221. Smoked:  Yes 222. Done drugs:  Not really. 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: Yeah, but they weren't worth keeping 224. Slap someone for being stupid: No, but I maybe should have. 225. Had cyber sex: I could have actual sex, so no. 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: ...ah...difficult one, since I don't consider myself one or the other when it comes to gender, or just one or the other, rather. 227. Caught someone doing something: I have a younger brother, so of course, 228. Played a game that removes clothing: Yes, and generally lost. 229. Cried during a movie:  A few; damn Disney movies 230. Cried over someone:  So many people 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend:  On occasion 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: I can't say I haven't. 233. Ran away from home: Nah, not until I was an adult. 234. Cheated on a test:  I should have in a few classes.

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump:  I don't think there are any planes left around. 236. Sky dive:  Again, above answer. 237. Swim with dolphins:  I've done that before. 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf:  Not on purpose. 239. Try to be the opposite sex: ....I mean; I go back and forth and in the gray between all the time. 240. Lie to the police: Probably. 241. Run from the police: Maybe. 242. Lie to your parents: I had on occasion. 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: No 244. Be an exotic dancer: ...sure, why not. But I would blind people with how pale I am so I wouldn't make much. 245. NQ- Kill the president:  Pretty sure he's already dead.

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: Only when I'm anxious. 247. Loud:  When I'm upset 248. Nice:  I like to think so 249: Outgoing: For the most part 250: Quiet: When I want to be left alone. 251. Mean: Nah 252. Emotional: God yes. 253. Sensitive: Very. 254. Gay:  Yesss 255. Strong: Physically? Not so much. 256. Weak: I don't like to admit it if I am. 257. Caring:  I try to be 258. Dangerous: Only when my brain is being weird. 259. Crazy:  ...potentially. 260. Spontaneous: Yes. 261. Funny:  I'm hilarious. 262. Sweet: Maybe? 263. Sharing: Yeah. 264. Responsible: Not so much. 265. Trustworthy: Of course. 266. Open-minded: Very. 267. Creative: Yes! 268. Cute: Well..I think I am. 269. Slick: Not by any means. 270. Smart: As much as anybody. 271. Dumb:  I don't think so. 272. Evil: No? 273. Ghetto: No 274. Classy:  Not really. 275. Photogenic: Ha, I don't even know. 276. Dependable: I try to be. 277. Greedy: Nah 278. Ugly: No 279. Messy: Basically, yes. 280. Neat: Not so great at that. 281. Perverted: No? 282. Silly: I have my moments. 283. A B****: Ha, probably at times. 284. A Good Listener: I like to listen, so hopefully? 285. A Fighter: ....no 286. A Party Animal: Used to be 287. A Game Freak:  Nah 288. A Computer Freak: Not really.

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: ...before the world ended I wanted to work in comic books. 290. Dream house: I liked where I was in Miami. 291. Husband/Wife:  ....they're gone now. 292. Kids: Nah. 293. Names: what? I like my name. 294. Pets: I still want a dog 295. Car: At this point, anything that runs 296. Age you would want to get married: ...I thought I already would be. 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My brothers 298. Honeymoon:  Europe

Section Fifteen: Your friends 

this is too depressing; I'm just going to not. do this one. 299. Best friend: 300. Known the longest: 301. Craziest: 302. Loudest: 303. Shyest: 304. Best hair: 305. Best eyes: 306. Best body: 307. Most Athletic: 308. Hot-Tempered: 309. Most impatient: 310. Shortest: 311. Tallest: 312. Skinniest: 313. Best singer: 314. Funniest: 315. Can always make you laugh: 316. Wish you talked to more: 317. Wish you saw more: 318. Who drives you insane after a while: 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': 321. Whose always been there when you need them: 322. Who is like your family: 323. How many friends do you have?: 324. How many are really close? 

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: Yesterday. 326. Thing you drank: A few hours ago, water. 327. Thing you wore: Clothes I'm wearing now? 328. Thing you did:  Walked back to town. 329. Place you went: The edge of town, was restless. 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: My right arm 331. Person you saw: Some guy working on a car that's busted. 332. Person you hugged: ...it's been a while. 333. Person you kissed: Been even longer on that one. 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: Yeah, I'm not so good at that. 335. Person you talked to online: The net has been dead for a long time. 336. Person you talked to on the phone: So have phones. 337. Song you heard: Months ago, some old gas station had a busted CD player with batteries but it didn't last long; some old 80s music. 338. Show you saw: I don't even remember. 339. Time you fought with your parents: ....before the outbreak, last time I saw them. 340. Time you fought with a friend: ...probably right before I left River Bend. 341. Words you said: 'Hn'

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating:  Nothing 344. What are you drinking:  Nothing 345. What are you thinking: The usual bouncy, weird thoughts. 346. What are you wearing: Clothes? 347. What are you doing: Nothing really, sitting here? I get nervous sleeping at night so I stay up a lot. 349. Hair: Is a fluffy mess. 350. Mood: Tired 351. Listening to: The wind outside. 352. Talking to anyone: No 353. Watching anything: No

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: Yes 355. Are you a carnivore: No 356. Are you heterosexual: No 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: No 359. Do you see stupid people: Yes 360. You + Me: No 361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes 362. Can you see flying pigs: No 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: No 364. Are you from Afghanistan: No 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: No 366. Are you a zombie:  NO 367. Am I annoying you: No 368. Do you bite your nails: Yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: Yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: No 371. Have you touched someone's private part:  Yes

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer:  Summer 373. Spring or Autumn: Spring 374. Shakira or Britney:  Shakira 375. MTV or VH1:  VH1 376. Black or White: ? Black I guess? 377. Yellow or Pink: Yellow. 378. Football or Basketball: uhh...basketball. 379. Mobile Phone or Pager:  Phone 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Hot 382. Tattoos or Piercings:  oh..hard one. Tattoos. 383. Inside or Outside: Inside. 384. Weed or Alcohol: Weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: Coke 386. Tape or Glue: Tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: Neither, gross.

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: Ha. I really like it. 389. About boy bands: Some of them were amusing. 390. About suicide: ...this world is bad but giving up? I couldn't do it. 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: They're exhausting, and far too many of them exist. 392. About teen pregnancy: I don't personally have to worry about that, heh. But it's not my business if it's not my body. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Alive I hope. 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: I should probably make some friends. 395. About gay men: I mean, obviously, I like them.

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: No 397. Current weather right now: Hot as hell 398. Current time:  It's late. Dark. 399. Any shout outs: no? 400. Last thoughts: ...'last thoughts' sounds so ominous.