#many thoughts about art and feelings rn
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so. the wato video, huh...
as you can see, i'm very hung up on watfies right now...
#☆ my art .#i need to get those out before i go insane#will definitely draw more kww now#(especially watfies OHMYGOD there's so many brainworms rn)#wato1876#kenadian#wifies#kww collab#wwa.....watfie..s.....#im normal about them#(/lying)#the wato not remembering the right shade of purple in wifies's eyes thing was just something that like#randomly popped up in my head#and i thought it was pretty cool so i wanted to draw something with it#don't feel like rendering rn so just sketches ^_^#headlock fits so well guys trust me#also a little doodle of them hugging and being happy (sobbing on the floor still)
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reblog art, goddamnit
#post let luce#i know people make posts like this all the time#but I am so fucking tired#I post art for engagement. for interaction.#so many of those reblogs are tagless too#what do i make art for?#to throw it out to a silent audience? to get a clap and then work on the next performance?#this is not ragging on people who reblog. especially not those reblogging with tags#yall are the reason i *do* still post#but i honestly just wanna know what people think. i wish to hear their thoughts. the less people reblog the less people see#and the less people have the spoons to actually talk to me about my art#not doing so well rn so it just hits harder#and more and more tempted to just. not post on tumblr anymore#when i post stuff on discord it feels much more interactive#despite the audience being so much more limited#feeling bad about my art and posting on here isnt helping
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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So now i have migraines apparently 😭
#wahh#it started this morning and i had to lay down this afternoon#all the stress of the past 24 hours i guess#it’s like a nightmare#literally having flashbacks to 2016#not as bad the second time lol starting to get used to it#real dark#never ever underestimate how much america hates women#the saddest part is that u can just See It#all of the men / a lot of them / where i live act like him#big fat misogynistic jerks#they’re all such cruel bullies#im trying not to let it get to me but it’s hard#one day at a time#there’s so many good people out there too#kind nice people#idk#kinda feels like drowning rn#but u gotta keep going#sometimes thinking about all the art i want to make is literally the only thing that keeps me going#so that’s good!#make stuff#draw paint write whatever#and fuck trump#notes tag#i couldn’t stand the thought of there being any doubt#so#i hate trump#boooo
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school is making me miserable so here's a doodle sheet of akechi truths. hope this helps
#goro akechi#my art#<- i guess. how many times have i said i guess to this. sorry no new big or good pieces i have horrors in my brain#p5 spoilers#i guess#i suppose that.these r 'headcanons.' but these are just truths in how i draw this guy. also not my best akechi drawings for sure lol#would u guys be mad if i made another akechi animatic. <-if this happens it will not be soon i have So Much shit going on rn.#my mind is just doing things again (things being listening to songs and thinking about him)#anyway its rlly funny to me that gloveless akechi feels so naked but he doesnt Actually wear them all the time lmao. he does to me though.#hope this helps.#i did the jacket around neck thing as a little kid because it stayed there better than the waist. he on the other hand is doing hero moment#anyway my brain has long imprinted on him like a baby duckling. thoughts and prayers on the schoolwork im not doing.goro akechi#i hope he dies<- not true
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Close ups on the pocket details!!! I'm SUPER happy w how the top pockets look 😳😳😳
I think the variety of pride pins with the moral panic button/Mr Faggot beadwork just. Really sells it. Shadow the Hedgehog voice Pee Your Pants. If you're going to be a shithead about me I'm going to be really annoying and do a bit about it. Plus the little golden angel pin... ALSO really pulls the whole thing together. "God help you" Right in front of my guardian angel? Really? 😒And how could I not make mention of. The Skull. I love you The Skull. It's a button (not sewn on yet, pinned) that I filled the details in w nail polish. Oh yeah! Besides the bottle cap pins (acrylics sealed with mod podge and a prayer), the biggest addition there is the chain lining the pocket flap! I think it looks SO SLICK
The pansy was gonna go on the queer side, but then I got the boutonniere idea! And I think it looks nice! Kinda adds to the asymmetry of the floral print/plaid blocking. And... of course.... I have... my friends...... 🥺 Biggest additions here are the glow-star pentagram pin, soda tabs and the heart locket!
I don't really have many new additions to the bottom pockets. Not yet! The only thing I did was stitch one side of the handcuff chain, and rearrange the pins holding up the other side. The cuffs/scorpion was just an impulse addition before going to a concert. But I do like it! And it looks even better now! Meanwhile, that other pocket, I actually have no idea what I'll do. Sakura is just there cause she matches really well, esp w the angel pin actually!
#punk tag#diy punk#my projects#I FORGOT I USED THAT TAG .#also i AM gonna put patches on this thang I PROMISE. I WAS TOO SCARED LAST RUN. THIS RUN. WILL BE DIFFERENT.#again still waiting. but i really really wanted to show off/talk about the details!!!!!#i have sooooo many Thoughts behind this jacket like. an entire ideology. it almost feels like drag in a way#like! in the sense that there's a performance and art going on here. if my existence is inherently controversial#then i'm gonna lean into that. make you sit with that. and i'm NO LONGER CUTE ABOUT IT#<- guy who called himself cute yesterday bc I LOOKED REALLY GOOD. IT WAS AWESOME. OKAY#i forget i have a body and a face so much.#also! the cuffs!!! feel like a slight nod to the kink community. like. i really do feel like the demonization of kink#is the reason why so much. everything is so bad. i have thoughts about this but i can't fully articulate them rn#but like. points at the sign that says all queerness and esp queer expression is kink in the eyes of bigots#points at the sign that those are my friends you asshole. it might even be me. who knows....#any which way! really coming together! i do really need to get studs though i think. the. horrors.#and also i'll look sick as hell.#rn i feel it's... well. not exactly subtle but i am fortunate to live in a safe area. i live in mind your own business state.#not like. saying that to you i mean like that's the general attitude where i live LMFAOOO#the worst i've gotten is a lady saying 'god help you' to me in passing. and that was really recent#an indication of ohhh changing tides. unsettling. but also she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said that lmfao#any which way! i am thinking of my safety but also i do feel like i'm lucky enough to have time.#my jacket
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Congratulations on nothing. I'm back to drawing LoV again after a bit of a break
those are mostly just a redraw practice for fun Toga is a try in "more canon way of drawing" with color practice too
I'm sorry that it's in russian because I have to have some will to localize jokes that came into my head while drawing it
it's like... a robot au??? or something, mostly just a joke "what if AFo just built Tenko and changed what he wanted"
and this is a joke about our 'favorite' 419 plot twist so it's basically just a bunch of joked about AFO failing to get any way to get control instead Tenko's head is not empty. It downloaded games, friends and stuff about being a hero but NOT as a literal hero, more on "villains need help I'm a hero then" way
and yes that text behind is "hands" written all over the place bc I wanted to add hands in handwritten form
#fanart#sketch#bnha#my art#toya todoroki#dabi#toga himiko#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#mha fanart#kinda robot au#I love drawing Tenko in this “I have no thoughts” eyes I always wonder what was his life back in that period#I have a lot of questions#but sadly it's not plot relevant so no info for us#:( sigh#alrightI'll do it myself >:( as many others did#but I like to think of that period with gloves or the mix of time without them but before he got a new name#I just want to understand how to write him#I know how but the little one#he's not like a normal kid and not a just trauma kid too#I hate how I'm slowly getting obsessed again and it already made me cry like 5 times bc I'm like THEY'RE DEADDDD *cries*#and 5 mins later oh! FUN THEY'RE ALIVE AND WELL bc I just turned on MVA#MVA anime is my guilty plesure I feel like home in a way that a place that is not home is home but home not comfy but familiar#plus it doesn't feel like an anime after so many rewatches it's like oh those guys are trying again I love that#still thinking of some of the topics I want to write about#but not rn I'm going to bed good night#also I thought of Toga's talk with Ochako she's still right#I tried to bottle up my emotions and feelings about LoV and today I had like an obsession with them without a break#because I missed liking them so much
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played mouthwashing... good game
#i have many thoughts. maybe i will write them out eventually but im too eepy rn#ive been meaning to play how fish is made for so long. i think i'll finally do that now lmao#reminded me of indika not storywise but just the effective use of the Game Medium#also probably hit even more bc ive been having a lot of thoughts lately about the way some people approach art#solely as this thing that is supposed to revolve around them and make them Happy#who then get angry when it makes them feel Big Emotions and/or doesn't perfectly 'represent' their experiences#part of enjoying art is looking at it critically. it's experiencing new perspectives. it's feeling big emotions both positive and negative#and sitting with those emotions and then asking ourselves Why the artist has done this#sometimes the point is to make you miserable and that doesn't automatically make it bad#anyways. good game
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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various doodles i made while rewatching botbots w/ some friends of mine ( @s0pmoch1 , @verae and nilly from the cogs sys, they arent active on tumblr though </3), feat. doodles of my helmetless hcs for BT and Kikmee that totally arent inspired by me n sop and how we kin both of them respectively <3
#botbots tag 🏪#my art 🎨#transformers botbots#botbots#dave botbots#kikmee#bonz eye#burgertron#i have so many THOUGHTS about this show#i rlly hope that the big guys havent forgotten about botbots bc of all of the mainline series stuff happening rn. i NEED season 2#bc if there is a repeat of what happened w/ pmatga with botbots i will explode the fucking earth#you gave tfrb a proper conclusion. give us botbots or give us death#also dont worry about the copious amounts of violence illustrated through burgertron. he has a lot of feelings :]
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agh
#having a lot of feelings about palestinian gfms rn.#1) i hate that there's a $5 minimum. i really wanted to donate at least a little bit to all of the campaigns that make it to my inbox#but i genuinely can't afford $5 for each one#and also like. there's one i donated to months ago that i know from updates managed to escape#but i do wish i knew if they were still doing ok u know?#and there's a big one that ive donated to that met the goal but i didnt see any updates.#like. i know im not entitled to any of their stories or anything but#idk#god i wish i had more money#i wish i had a skill i could use to commission stuff with. like those art for donations things#anyways. im also having more in depth thoughts about the whole gfm thing and how insane it is that crowdfunding is the best way to help#but i'm gonna stop rambling here#i am def feeling the 'it feels ghoulish to pick 1 fund out of many' but i am also channeling that one post that's like. just pick one.#helping one is better than none. anyways#bel speaks
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woagh 2 posts in one day
#sketch#listen your honor i love him#im unsure if i wanna tag yosuke in this bc theyre like 15 min sketches so i think imma leave it like this and let the lord decide#i know hes not a like the fan fave in persona but somehow the trash boy has grown on me and is now like top 4 for the whole damn franchise#like mold or smth#you just gotta like reimagine him as a very tired repressed bi 16 yr old in a closet made of glass and he immediately becomes more likeable#like bro he works retail and is 16 thats why hes like that#also like the scene from the group date in pq where he goes “all right now we can be partners for all eternity!!!!”#that lives in my head rent free#listen he lives with teddie and works retail#as someone who also worked retail i promise you most of his not kanji related outbursts are justified#the kanji stuff is bad fr fr but like hes also 16 in 2011#let the 1st 16yr old who was not an asshole and uninformed cast the first stone#sorry i have a lot of feelings for 1 yosuke hanamura and i needed to tell all of you in this my diary#which reminds me#most of yall came from me posting about dr which ndrv3 has a very special place in my heart and on my walls#but alas p4 kicked saihara to the curb so idk if ill be making anymore??????? maybe i might in the future but idk im old and tired#and dr is and always will be full of 13 yr olds which is fine but i dont wanna interact with them bc im old#and tired of the same discourse every 6 months#maybe when the not actually but totally is dr4 that kodaka is cooking up drops ill make dr art again but unlikely for rn#once i figure out how p4 protag chan's bowl cut works ill draw boys kissing#i do need to figure out how to draw boys kissing#since it will also lead to figuring out how to draw girls kissing which is almost dare i say more important#anywho thank you for coming to my newest diary entry#i will never stop yapping in the tags#this is a promise#yall gotta know all my thoughts in as many characters and tags tumblr will let me have
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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stfu ART cannot be dead. surely not. this book is lying to me
#someone better say sike RIGHT FUCKING NOW im so upset. im SO upset#although i do incredibly love murderbot having an emotional breakdown.#when the one alien (<< i think theyre aliens ar least) said they deleted art and amena looked at murderbots face and just said 'oh shit'#like fuck yes i love some murderous revenge moments. thats so delicious. but also i cannot accept the fact that art is dead#MURDERBOT HAS REFERRED TO ART AS ITS FRIEND MULTIPLE TIMES SINCE IT AND AMENA WERE CAPTURED#IT HAS NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. WITHOUT ANY SNARKY SIDE COMMENTSRY#IT HAS THOUGHT THE WORD FRIEND. GENUINELY. MULTIPLE TIMES.#IM GOING TO START EATING FIBERGLASS. RIGHT NOW#SOMEONE SAY SIKE PLEASE. I MISS ART SO MUCH#<< DO NOT ACTUALLY TELL ME. IM STILL READING.#reaction time#im fucking UPSET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but also i LOVE murderbot feeling unbridled emotions . more of that please. its pissed its grieving its miserable#it cant think about art too long without completely breaking down. it has let its guard down around dangerous entities so many times. it#never fucjing does that. especially while it considers amena a client and ESPECIALLY because shes dr mensahs kid.#what the hell im feeling so insane rn.
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I’m not trying to procrastinate but I feel like this zine I’m working on has changed so much and I thought it’d be more of a 2022 recap of my art development with more casual and insightful thoughts woven into it but now I feel like there’s something more in the art that isn’t finished, and I felt disappointed thinking what I’m making now wouldn’t be in it so I think I’m gonna follow that thread and see how things go. when I’ll be done is unclear, it just doesn’t feel right to rush to finish it by february like I initially planned.
#my art in the past has changed a lot and I feel like what I’m in rn is still smth im exploring so it feels wrong to cut it off rn basically#idk how interested ppl are in it anyway still I’m up for talking about it anyway though … I have many thoughts…..#text
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