#many things but i am a simpleton

[peachdues]

VIOLENT DELIGHTS (NSFW TEASER)

Mercenary!Tengen x Assassin!Reader

A/N: I’ve been hyping this one up for a while, so enjoy a smutty teaser of Part I of Tengen’s installment in my Tell Me to Stop series.

This will be an enemies-to-lovers fantasy AU where Tengen is a contracted mercenary for the royal Ubayashiki family and Reader is an assassin. Trust when that when I say “enemies to lovers” I mean enemies to lovers. Tengen and Reader take turns beating the shit out of each other and both try to kill each other at least once.

But be warned: things get fucking filthy. Hope you’re ready to see Tengen be the biggest simpy bitch for Reader. Enjoy!

CW: explicit sexual content below • MDNI • oral (f!receiving) • public sex • sub!Tengen • he quite literally crawls for a chance to eat Reader’s pussy • begging • enemies to lovers • Reader’s on a power trip and we love it • defilement of a throne

“That isn’t yours,” a familiar voice drawled from behind the drapery partitioning off the entrance to the grand throne room. Though its tone was almost bored, there was a faint hint of amusement.

Your red-painted lips curved up into a devious smile. “My apologies, I thought I spied my name carved into this fine stone.���

From the shadowy corridor of the throne room emerged a figure,

“It belongs to his Majesty, who, need I remind you, you tried to assassinate not even one year ago.”

“That is old news,” You waived your hand dismissively at him, crossing one leisurely leg over the other, allowing the silky material of your dress to part at the slit around your thigh. “I have moved on. Call it self reflection, personal growth —“

“A higher paying offer,” Uzui amended.

“— All that matters is that I now pose no threat to your beloved King.” You finished smoothly. “I simply wanted to see if the great Ubayashiki’s throne was as grand as the rumors claim.”

The Sound Mercenary only shook his head, his arms folded across his massive chest as he sauntered down the aisle toward the base of the dias leading up to the royal throne, where you sat. “Your very presence on his ancestral seat dishonors His Majesty. And though I tolerate many things, I should not tolerate disrespect to him.”

“Is that why you fucked the one once hired to cut his throat?” You pondered, loftily. “Was it out of this great respect for him that you begged for my cunt?”

Uzui scowled. “I said I shouldn’t tolerate it; I never claimed to succeed in doing so.” And even from where you sat above him, you could see the fire simmering in the Sound Mercenary’s eyes as he passed through a large beam of moonlight that streamed through the windows of the cavernous Hall. “That’s particularly true where a certain devious assassin who enjoys toying with the threads of my sanity is involved.”

You suppressed the delighted shiver that tickled down your spine. “Be that as it may — if you want to preserve the sanctity of your Master’s throne, then you will have to come remove me yourself,” you smirked, shifting forward in the seat, eyes flashing with your challenge. “But be warned: I am armed.”

The silver-haired mercenary gave a great snort. “You remind me as though it were possible to forget how you held a blade against my neck while you fucked yourself on my cock,” his voice dropped to a sultry purr and his eyes darkened. “I may be a blind fool where you’re concerned, but only a simpleton would think to underestimate you.”

“So narrow minded, Uzui.” You sighed. “A woman can be armed with more than mere blades.”

You uncrossed your legs, your fingers ruching up the delicate folds of your dress and pulling them aside, your thighs spreading wide across the seat of the throne.

Your gown was spun from a fabric the color of molten silver. Though floor-length, the bottom half of the dress was not a single, unified garment. Rather, the skirt was separated into three, equal sections, with one pleat hanging straight down the middle. The other two were separated from it by twin slits, extending from the bottom hem of the gown to nearly either hip.

Standing, the openings in the gown weren’t noticeable; but they served an important function, allowing you greater freedom of movement should you find yourself in need to fight or flee, and it made it easier to grab for any weapons you could strap to your thighs.

But the dual-slit skirt served another important function: access.

Your faint smirk twisted into a cruel grin as Uzui’s eyes ran down the length of your body and snagged on the flash of what lay at the apex of your thighs, before you allowed the middle panel or fabric to cover you once more.

It was brief, but with relish, you realized it had been enough to grind all his higher reasoning to a screeching halt; for you’d given him a quick glance of what you knew he wanted most.

Your cunt.

And you’d forgone wearing underclothes.

“Gods above,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “You are sin itself.”

He began advancing toward you, his hands quickly undoing the belts securing his various blades and weapons from where they were knotted around his waist. His weapons dropped carelessly to the floor, the whine of metal against scraping against stone drowned out by the music thundering from the orchestra in the ballroom just beyond the doors to the hall.

“Stop,” your voice rang clear and firm through the empty throne hall, and the Sound Assassin halted, foot suspended mid-air.

His eyes followed your fingers as they toyed with the low neckline of your gown before dropping down to your breast, circling it once. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, before he swallowed hard.

Your head was fogged by the high of his obedience. “Crawl to me.”

Magenta eyes widened, a blush creeping out from under the high collar of his tunic. For a moment, you feared you’d gone too far, that this game you played had run its course, but then Uzui dropped to his knees. Keeping his eyes locked heatedly with yours, he began to shuffle forward, slow and purposefully, to where you remained perched on his King’s throne.

Your slave, indeed.

The revered mercenary of the Wisteria Kingdom’s royal family finally drew upon the dais leading to the great throne. He paused, still on his hands and knees, his eyebrow raised in question as he glanced between you and the stairs elevating you above him.

Quickly, you tallied the number of steps separating you, and your grin broadened.

Ten.

You peered down your nose at the waiting Sound Mercenary with mocking disdain. “I’m waiting.”

The silver-haired guard did not utter a single word as he crawled forward, his eyes unwaveringly locked with yours. Despite his hulking size, he ascended the ten steps on his hands and knees with a loping grace, and within seconds he was at the foot of the throne, peering up at you in both reverence and apprehension.

His back straightened, though he remained on his knees before you, settling instead on his haunches. Tentatively, he reached for you, but but before his hands could graze your knees you extended your leg and planted your heel-clad foot squarely in the center of his chest, halting him.

Your voice was softer than the shadows cast by the dim candlelight flickering in the sconces lining the walls. “I did not say you could touch me.”

Yet you did not stop him as his fingers teased along the outside of your foot, lifting your leg until your calf rest against his collar bone.

“I have not stopped thinking about you,” he confessed with a rasp, his lips whispering against the skin of your ankle. “For weeks, you have consumed me, mind, body and soul.”

He began peppering small, chaste kisses against your leg, each caress of his lips rising higher and higher. His eyes bore into yours, and the vastness of the desperation swimming in those fuchsia irises threatened to swallow you whole. “Please,” he urged as his fingers worked circles into the soft flesh behind your knee. His eyes flicked down to what was between your thighs — what he craved most — before lifting back to yours. “I think I may go mad if I do not have a taste—“

You lurched forward, ignorning the burn in your hamstring, and caught his chin firmly in your hand, halting his ascension up your leg. He did not dare to blink as you leaned in close enough to see the blacks of his pupils dilate, chasing away the magenta of his gaze “I think you’ve already succumbed to madness, given that you’re begging to taste my cunt while your Master is in the next room. While I sit on his throne.”

“Then you are the cure to my sickness,” Uzui retorted, his cheek pressed to your shin. His eyes shone with a feverish devotion, one that flamed the red-hot fire of need burning in your belly. “So please, allow me the chance to ease some of my suffering.”

You sat back against the ancestral seat of the Ubayashiki bloodline, your lips pursed in consideration, though your hold on him remained.

“Show me.” You ordered after a moment, and your thumb slipped into his mouth. Instantly, his lips wrapped around its tip, his tongue flicking across the pad of your finger as he sucked. “Show me who you truly bow to; show me what god you worship.”

You let your hand fall from his chin and settled back against the throne, your thighs spreading wide in invitation.

Uzui wasted no time; deft fingers shoved the slitted panels of your dress to the side, and he surged forward, latching his mouth to your cunt with a gasp.

It was remarkable how quickly a few strokes of his tongue against your heated flesh could melt your smug grin clean from your face. Your head thudded against the high back of the throne as Uzui parted your folds with his tongue, began drinking you in with enthusiastic grunts.

“Thank you,” he moaned between fervent laps at your cunt, his hands wrapped under your thighs, holding you open to accommodate his hulking size as he worked. “Thank you, my sweet villain. Thank you.”

Your grip on the arms of the throne tightened, your nails nearly cracking as your fingers dug into the carved stone with crushing force. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew you were lucky that the Ubayashiki clan had favored such a sturdy material for its royal seat, for the arm rests would have surely crumbled in your hands had they been made from mere wood.

One of Uzui’s great hands tugged a leg over his shoulder, your foot coming to rest against his upper spine. He then bent your other leg at the knee before pushing it far to the side to allow himself to press as close to your center as possible, the mass of his shoulders serving to pin you in place and keep you spread as wide as your body would tolerate.

This new position meant that his nose was flush against the sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs, serving as extra stimulation as his mouth worked furiously against you.

“I’ve heard that there is no finer wine than that made by the gods themselves,” Uzu gasped against you, pulling his mouth away from your core to rest his great cheek against your inner thigh while he caught his breath. The sight of his lips — rosy and shiny from you — was enough to make you squirm, your hips bucking insistently toward him, desperate for him to continue. “But I know that’s a load of horse shit, because neither the gods nor man could ever make anything taste as sweet as your cunt.”

“Uzui —“ you whined, your need for him too great to care about the desperate edge of your tone.

“Fuck,” Uzui hissed and then he latched his mouth back to your core with a heady groan. His tongue stroked at you, swirling around your clit once, twice, before diving back down to your entrance and plunging deep.

You would have bowed off the throne had the Sound Mercenary’s great hand not slapped firmly against your sternum to push you back and hold you down. You bit your tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep the loud, rapturous cry of pleasure from tearing free from your throat as Uzui began steadily pumping his wet appendage in and out of your heat.

Once he was sure you would not float away from him, his hand dragged down your torso, stopping to palm and pinch at your breasts before continuing its descent, finally coming to press flat against your lower abdomen. His thumb stretched down and began toying with the nub between your thighs, circling and pressing in time with the movements of his mouth.

“What have you done to me? I will never be able to have enough of you.” He moaned in between measured thrusts of his tongue. Your fingers flew to grip a handful of his hair, tugging him harshly against you as your hips began moving or their own accord, bucking and grinding senselessly against his face until you were riding his tongue. Chest heaving, you looked down to see the whites of his eyes peeking through his eyelids before they fully shut, as Uzui lost himself in your taste.

You could feel your cries building in your throat, a mounting pressure that risked erupting and exposing you — exposing you both — to the revelers just on the other side of the Great Hall. You may not have been familiar with all the intricate details of the Wisteria Kingdom’s laws, but you were fairly certain defiling the Crown’s throne would earn you a one-time encounter with an executioner’s blade, no matter how benevolent its ruler.

It was growing more difficult to contain your noises, especially as Uzui’s hunger grew more frenzied, his head rocking harshly from side to side as he feasted.

Just as you were about to lose what little control over yourself remained, the silver-haired mercenary held something out in offering, though the rhythm of his mouth against your center remained constant. In your pleasured haze, it took you a moment to comprehend what, exactly, it was he suggested.

You blinked rapidly in an effort to clear the fog created by his sinful tongue between your legs.

It was his hand.

It hung limp from his wrist, and if you hadn’t known better, you almost would’ve believed he was waiting for you to lean forward and kiss his knuckles, just as you’d spied countless nobles do when getting their monarch. But this was no sycophantic noble — this was Uzui, and though he loved groveling for you, he knew better than to give you orders.

It was an offering; confirmed by the way he rolled his head to the side, his cheek pressing to your inner thigh even as he continued to lap at your folds. As you peered down your nose at him, you spotted sliver of magenta peeking through his eyelashes, before it flicked to his hand and back to you; urging.

His lips moved to wrap around your pearl and he sucked, hard enough that your back arced sharply away from the seat of the throne. Shakily, you reached to cover the hand he’d held out with your own and you hauled it quickly to your mouth, managing to stifle your moan against his knuckles and Uzui continued to suckle away, his tongue sliding along your slit.

His other hand slid between your thighs until his fingers came to rest against your lips. In an instant, he’d spread them wide and plunged his tongue back into your opening, curling and thrusting.

Your teeth sank hard into the flesh covering the back of Uzui’s hand where it was pressed against your mouth, your scream burning as it toiled in your throat. You felt his skin break under the force of your bite, but the Sound Mercenary did not seem to mind; in fact, he hardly seemed to notice at all, far too fixated on fucking you as thoroughly with his tongue as he could with his cock.

Once, you’d thought it was only he who wore a leash, one that had been looped around his neck by you, to be pulled and tightened at your whim.

Now, as your hips lifted to meet his mouth and your mind disconnected from your body in favor of grinding wantonly against his face, you realized that perhaps, he’d slipped his own leash around you. For as much as you insisted you were always in control, always remained one step ahead, you found that you were no more a slave to your own desires than the man feasting on your cunt like it was his last meal.

You were close; so dangerously close, given how your abdomen tensed as that coil in your belly cinched tight.

“Uzui —“ you warned, pulling your mouth away from his bloodied knuckles. But then Uzui grazed his teeth against your clit just as his tongue curled and stroked your innermost wall, and that coil unwound.

Your climax slammed into you with a force that threatened to pull you apart at your seams. One hand clutched at the arm rest of the throne while the hand shot to his head, your fingers ensnarling themselves into his hair harshly enough that you could’ve scalped him, had he tried to pull away. But Uzui wasn’t going anywhere; not as you began twisting and gyrating and bucking against his face, too overcome by pleasure to make a sound, your mouth only hanging open in a silent scream.

The Sound Mercenary groaned loudly into your cunt as you continued riding against his face. A violent shudder passed over him and he clutched harder at your thighs, his hands nearly wrapping around them both as he fucked you through the tides of your climax.

Uzui lapped at you twice more before your legs finally relaxed and the last wave of your high receded. Limp and panting, you forced your hand to tighten its grip in his hair, tugging until you managed to pull his face away from your cunt. You cocked your head to the side, inspecting him, your hand dropping its hold on the silken strands of his hair to grip under his chin, tilting his face up toward you.

Uzui’s cheeks were flushed a bright pink, and his chest heaved as he caught his breath. Your thumb swiped over his bottom lip, and with a fluttering thrill, you realized that the area from his chin to the hollows of his cheeks were thoroughly covered in you, his skin shiny and slick.

Your eyes scanned lower, narrowing in on the crotch of his leathers. Though the throne room was shadowy and dark, you still spied the thick bulge which had formed between his thighs as he’d indulged himself on you. With a smirk, you leaned forward and ran your other hand over the laced seam of his breeches, ready to hear him hiss as you made contact with his hardness, but to your surprise, the material was damp.

Your eyes flicked to his, wide as you withdrew your hand, your thumb running over your palm where a small bit of his spend had seeped through his laces.

Uzui kept his chin high, his eyes full of a besotted wonder as you leaned back against the throne, and grinned.

“You might wish to visit a washroom before you return to your post, Uzui,” you mocked, sweetly. “Lest you allow your entire Court to know how you truly enjoying spending your time.”

“I suppose you’re right; imagine how quickly I’d be sent to the gallows if my master learned I’ve whored myself out to the enemy.” He bit back, a rueful smile forming on his lips. “Though if you were my wife, I could wear your pleasure like a badge of honor.”

“Mine or yours?”

“Mine,” his answer was quick and assured. “There is no higher honor than having you moan for me.” He paused for a moment, his hand reaching for you, and you allowed his knuckles to softly caress your cheek. “Though I think i might consider treason if it meant hearing you utter my name — my true name.”

[mischiefmaker615]

Bang Bang

Requester: @Laer111ee (wattpad)

Rating: R

Summary/Inspiration Song: Bang Bang by K'NAAN

Note: my goodness.. it may be my longest one shot

Loki’s POV

I’ve always known humans to be the weaker species, surely much lower than most of the nine realms of this universe. It wasn’t until I had really spent an.. annoyingly long amount of time on Midgard to realize I could still be surprised.

It was strange, how Midgardians have history books filled to the brim of war and chaos, caused by their own doing. Why is it that when I try to rule, they turn against the idea? They most certainly have no problems living with those elected to decide how they live; is it because I am the god of chaos that makes things different? That I am not human? All.. nuisance cast aside with how things went upon them sending their earth’s mightiest heroes, I did at least gain one positive aspect through it all.

Her.

Was wasn’t quite special, no powers running through her delicate yet capable feminine body. Just years, perhaps a great solid decade at most of hard-core training- that humans would consider hard core. Gods even I am picking up on their simpleton language. Nevertheless, whatever this woman has gone through to earn her spot amongst these Avengers, she was truly the first, pure human that could actually get my body to tense in battle, for me to actually have to concentrate, to be less.. cocky, as I’m told.

She keeps up.

“you have a nasty habit of running from the inevitable-‘’ she called, slowly walking through some abandoned building as I kept myself around the corner from her eye sight.

The SHIELD uniform hugged beautifully to her body, much more mesmerizing than The Widow. She quickly let her eyes flick down briefly to make sure she was carefully walking amongst the debris, going right back up to make sure I hadn’t appeared in sight yet. It was quite amusing, the serious in her face as she searched for me, this not even being the first time she’s sought me out.

Although this woman walked around half the time with a loaded shotgun, -though it was hardly enough to concern me, something about her seemed to make me feel like I could have no concern with whatever she would point at me. Like she wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger, though I wasn’t quite in the mood to test out the possible bluff. She seemed to shoot me straight in the heart anyway, and to my own surprise, it came with no pain..

Why they don’t send someone with heightened abilities, I am unsure. Yet she’s lasted this long, though most of our encounters I’ve held back a lot- and she knows it. I just tend to always look forward to our next encounter, and I can’t very much do that if she is in a recovery wing. I am not a fool though, and normally there is either one or two Avengers outside the building in which I sneak to, indicating that she is perhaps still being put to the test by going after me.

‘’and yet you still follow darling.’’ I chuckle, using the angles where my voice could echo rather than give away my location as I eye the gun clutched in her hands. ‘’tell me, how many times will your heroes send you before they finally think you’ll catch me?’’

Her E/C eyes narrow, her head moving to all directions as she pressed on, her nose twitched as she ignored the knocking feeling to sneeze with all the dust. Cute.

‘’perhaps I’ve been holding back as well, when are you going to have the balls to have a real fight with me?’’

I couldn’t help but smirk at her vulgar language, most likely using sarcasm to substitute her fear, though I did not smell any on her. I began moving myself through the halls, knowing from a birds eye view of the building, I was making my way around so I could be behind her. ‘’when I know you won’t break as soon as I touch you..’’ quite often, I’ve hinted at an inuendo. As I’ve pushed much of the thoughts down, it wasn’t new for the idea of perhaps laying down with her to cross my mind if even given the opportunity- though I do like my partners willing most of the time.

‘’how about you stop hiding like a coward then?’’

It was a weak answer, but I knew she just wanted me to keep talking to give away my position as I quietly turn the corner and was now getting an eye view of her backside- hips swaying with a sculpted rump. I have wondered if those heroes merely send her for me to be distracted in hopes that she could use that to defeat me.. it hasn’t quite worked yet.

“It could be fun if you stop holding back.’’

My brow raised at her last statement. Did she enjoy these pointless battles just as much as I did? I rather sought out her closeness, her sarcasm and fierceness though she was as harmless as a young mongrel. I could always smell her scent when we fought, almost seeing the oils and soaps she uses and there was only one time I could have sworn I could smell arousal. My cock twitched at the mere thought and brought me out of my thoughts as I slowed my pace behind her. Though this closeness now I just couldn’t resist.

‘’you want fun then? Let’s have fun..’’ I whisper in her ear, seeing her body tense at the realization of my whereabouts and I had just enough time to inhale, my eyes fluttering as I got what I wanted before I leaned back when she swung an elbow back.

She was quick, turning around and pointed her gun towards me in which I was quick to grab and yank free before I had to watch her other arm. Fighting Midgardians was almost like fighting something that moved in slow motion, and I was happy to play along as I let her hit my chest now and again though I could tell she had gotten stronger since the last time we’ve met.

‘’dare I say you also look forward to our little dance sweet Y/N?’’ I smirk, teasing her to throw off her concentration as she glares, increasing her speed as she keeps trying to find an opening.

‘’I look forward to finally seeing you behind glass again Loki’’ she snapped though I gathered no anger in her voice as she dropped down and I quickly stepped back from a leg swing.

‘’ah so you much prefer talking than our physical interactions out here?’’ I press before she humps back to her feet, ramming the top of her head into my jaw. It didn’t hurt but it was the force that had my eyes fly up and I had to regain my footing as she kept going at punching at my pressure points- trying through my armor at least.

‘’I prefer you putting your mouth to better use-‘’ she cut herself off, the surprise matching my own as her body stilled for a split second and she shook her head ‘’interrogation!’’ she added, trying to redirect her meaning as her mistaken inuendo had my humor triggers.

I laughed and something in my chest seemed to switch at how this woman made me feel in that moment where she was quick to try to correct herself by fighting harder. It worked.

For once she got the best of me, fighting rather dirty through her embarrassment and opted to quick me in the groin. My amusement was quickly replaced with pain and she had me on my back in an instant with her blade to my neck. My hands were up, palms towards her in a surrender position where we both caught our breath.

‘’let me know if the offer still stands,’’ I smirk, knowing any wrong moves she would press the blade deeper than it was as I felt the slight warm trickle of blood at my neck.

Her free hand moved to her thigh, my eyes watching rather mesmerized as my mind screamed to get me out of this situation. With her body on top of mine quick comfortably in a pin, my body had other plans and wished to remain as she pulled out her radio. Sound seemed to have left my ears, seeing her speak but I couldn’t hear anything as I watched her.

This woman was different..

That had been quite some time ago, perhaps a little bit over a year and It was only 3 months later of.. attempted interrogations, they even sent her, because they realized my “plans” haven’t been put into place yet, day saved if it hasn’t started yet. After those boring 3 months, I found out someone had requested and convinced me to remain house bound to the Avengers tower, participating in community service here and there if my magic needed to be put to use depending on the foe they were fighting that same day. Of course, they never let me out without a particular Asgardian bracelet my idiot brother brought back that would dull my abilities, ensuring my escape would not be easily attempted.

When I had arrived at the tower for my new living situation, I received the not-so-surprising welcome from those heroes, and I often wondered who convinced SHIELD to let me be housed here. When my eyes landed on Y/N, those features reddened and her eye contact wavered, I knew it was here. I never brought it up, but as we conversed here and there throughout my time, her kindness compared to the others was a define confirmation where I never really needed to ask.

And our friendship grew.

Reader’s POV

Loki and I were similar in many ways- not so much the fact that he killed people or tried to take over the world or that he was narssassistic.. okay perhaps not that similar. Though in many house-life ways we seemed to be two peas in a pod.

I knew from the start the Avengers had sent me first to try to take him down, to put me to the test, so to speak, during my training days. To everyones surprise, he and I weren’t the stereotypical enemies. I would never admit it, but Loki was right.. fighting him was almost something I would look forward to, because we knew we couldn’t bring ourselves to kil each other.

Weve grown in friendship since he’s arrived, I noticed long before there was something different about him.. so I spoke with Fury and although Loki hasn’t figured it out yet- to my knowledge, I was assigned to secretly ‘babysit him’.

Whenever he entered the room, I couldn’t help but look at him with the feeling that my lips wanted to curl into a smile. There was a strange flutter in my chest, almost a wanting that I hoped he would sit next to me, talk to me, anything where I was really in his attention. He strongly disliked everyone else, perhaps me a bit less so I hope that wasn’t the main reason why he would come over..

I don’t want him to hate me..

We sat across from each other in another meeting, hosted by Rogers as he yet again had to debrief us on how we could do better on the latest assignment. From the corner of my eye, I could tell Loki was staring and I shifted a little shyly by his intense gaze. Whenever I would move to look back at him, his eyes were quick to move on Rogers and sometimes I would question if he had really been looking over here or not.

Just to test that theory, I would sometimes lean forward against my forearms on the table, my clevage showing a bit more with whatever top I was wearing that day. From the corner of my eye I could see Loki seeming to study my skin, him taking a strained swallow as he shifted in his seat sutly. I couldn’t help but smirk as I ‘listened’ to Steve, loving to tease this man to get back at mild mischief he would throw around in the tower when he was bored.

I would only sit back in my chair when I notice Tony activitly leaning forward to stare down my chest, hearing a growl form Loki as he seemed to look jealous before I would roll my eyes at Stark.

He would after flirt, casually of course in a normal conversation and catch me off guard where he’d smirk at how red my cheeks would get. Often mentally preparing myself to see him every day I would usually beat him to it with a flirtation inundo where he then would either stutter or turn away to try to make sure I wouldn’t see his own cheeks redden.

Cat and mouse, taking turns on who would be played and the player.

That’s how our relationship was, flirting and conversing. The only one who could hold up an interesting conversation around here and get me to think. He had so many ideas, good ones, and thoughts where we’d lose track of time. Truth be told I think I have began to gain feelings for this god.. and it scared me to death but upon seeing how.. for lack of a better term, weak, I could make him, it also made me feel bold, powerful, and I liked the person I was when I was around him.

Yet it’s not like he felt the same.. I probably was just another weak mortal in his eyes, decent enough to kill time with if this was all the options he had..

Nobody’s POV

Loki’s footsteps slowed, moving with causton down the halls as soon as he heard slight sound coming from the kitchen down the hall. Exactly where he was heading to In the middle of the night, as one does.

He was bare chested, black boxers being the only article of clothing he had on and with a dagger formulating in his hand as he neared the corner. No one has been up this late, and judging the cercumstances of where they were, you could never be to sure with the enemies that could pop up. Yet when he peaked around the corner, there was no enemy..

Her.

She had on.. very short shorts, a tank top with no sign of bra on as she kept her back to him at the stove. The dim stove top light was the only lighting she gave herself as she stirred something in the pop while his body relaxed with the non-threat.

Why was she up at this hour? He was only fetching himself a glass of water..

The dagger slowly vanished within thin air, his eyes starting from her ankles and slowly working their way up as he leaned himself against the doorframe. He had seen her in varies outfits- from work, to casual but never sleep attire. His teeth captured his bottom lip, feeling like he hasn’t blinked as he shifted himself by the slight growing reminder at how he felt towards her. Upon pawing at his boxers, he exhaled in slight discomfort and as soon as he noticed her body tensed, his hand moved to his side as she turned.

‘’oh! Loki-‘’ she gasped, quickly hushing herself as she grabbed her heart from the surprise. Her eyes seemed to widen at the sight of him, not exactly having seen him in his own sleep attire before- let alone shirtless. ‘’what are you-‘’

Playing it off quickly as if he hadn’t been staring for long a moment ago, he casually shrugged and moved himself towards the fridge with his eyes forward. ‘’I am merley fetching a glass of water, I am more curious as to why you would be cooking yourself a meal this late in the night?’’ he asked, glancing over at the stove as she turned off the burner.

‘’sometimes I just wake up with cravings- I wasn’t to hungry at dinner time so I suppose my body makes up for it now’’ she smiled sheepishly and leaned herself against the counter, watching him.

Loki gave a mild hum and a nod, taking a glass and turning around to face her. ‘’well do not mind me, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything’’ he smirked and slowly sauntered over to her.

He could notice her breathing picking up as he stood before he, having to tilt his head down a little to look at her as his height served as a reminder.

‘’n-not at all-‘’ she shook her head, sucking in a breath as he raised his arm while he held eye contact, their expressions steady at a stalemate before he reached around her, his arm gliding against her side before he pulled back with the water pitcher in hand. Looking embarrassed, her eyes moved over to the stove, checking on nothing which made him smirk.

‘’is there a problem?’’

‘’of course not- I’m just waiting for you to finish up.’’ She said with quick defense where he couldn’t help but chuckle, motioning around him as he poured into his glass.

‘’I am not in your way darling, unless of course you require things from the fridge but I do remember you favor that particular meal as is- plain package contents.’’ He said with no judgement- not anymore, he had wrinkled his nose the first time he had seem packaged ramen but held back his negative opinions when she had him try it one day.

‘’I know I just- am not used to working in the kitchen with someone around..’’ she said and rubbed her arm as she seemed to want to close in on herself.

‘’that is not try Y/N, I distinctly remember you having no issue working in the kitchen when one is present,’’ he corrects calmly and takes a sip of his drink, eyeing her before he sets down the glass beside him. ‘’I think you are merely just not used to one seeing you in quite the.. intimate attire..’’ he smirked and she picked up on his teasing, narrowing her eyes as she crossed her arms to seem stubborn but she really just tried covering herself.

‘’I am perfectly fine, Loki, with cooking in anything with anyone. I just enjoy my peace and quiet and wish to resume it as soon as you leave.’’

‘’quite the lie darling, how long will you be keeping it up until you remember what the god of I am?’’ he laughed, quickly lowering his voice as he leaned against the counter across from her, almost acting as a mirror as he rests his palms beside him on its edge just as she did.

He couldn’t help but notice her- not so subtle- eyes roaming over his chest in quick movements as if he wouldn’t notice. Did she admire him as much as he admired her?.. or wasn’t strictly just their forms they liked..

‘’..was it an innuendo?’’ he asked, seeming to surprise himself as the words came out.

‘’-what was?’’ she asked, raising a brow as she thought if she said anything right now that would make him think that but he clarified with a shake of his head.

‘’in our last fight.. when I was free.. before all,’’ he waved his hand around as his eyes slowly raised over to hers. ‘’this..’’ he cheeks reddened at the very pit he had dug himself but he had to ask. ‘’you told me.. that you would rather put my mouth to better use-‘’

‘’that was strictly involving interrogation-‘’ she said quickly, her cheeks heating up as she turned herself around, gripping the counter edge in her hands as she kept her back to him.

She was hiding, quite shy and although he was rather embarrassed himself upon asking the question, he quite liked the way he could make her squirm this was as she hid her face from him. ‘’all of it?’’ he asked slowly and she knew he was waiting to try to read on if she would lie to him.

Her eyes studied the countertop, her mouth searching for words while her mind raced before she closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘’no..’’

Loki’s heart seemed to jump in his chest, his eyes looking over her back.. backside to be exact while he listened to her answer. So she did want him.. he began to take a small step forward, watching how she stayed still as she kept her back to him but she was very much listening to his movement. ‘’as it may seem.. I want you to Y/N.. but not in just that way..’’ he took a breath, finding it easier to confess while she wasn’t piercing him with her eyes and he continued on.

‘’your not like the other mor- ..humans.. your strong, you help others, your not selfish and dare I say just as mischievious as me.. intreging.. I’ve often looked forward to the next time we got to fight if it so meant being just a little bit more close to you..’’

By now he was standing behind her, seeing how she kept her head low and her body began to shake as she drew in a breath. ‘’..i like you too Loki.. you make me feel like I’m alive.. you make me want to be better.. stronger.. free.. I knew since day one you were holding back in the fight for a reason..’’

He slowly rested his hands along hers, his body hovering just barely against hers as his chin almost rested against her shoulder. His eyes fluttered closed, taking an inhale of her sweet scent he loved so much while he shook his head. ‘’I couldn’t hurt a sweet thing like you.. it was you who told Fury to put me here, wasn’t it? Out of the cell?’’ he finally asked and she nodded a little, looking forward as she straightened a little, bringing her body up so her shoulder was resting now against his chin.

He took this as an okay to rest a little weight on her, his chin down on her shoulder while his hands moved to rest on top of hers. His body was so close to hers, he could feel her body heat radiating off of her skin and his cock throbbed as he could smell her arousal. Her sweet.. sweet scent..

‘’thank you Y/N..’’ he whispered, grateful every day to be stuck here if I meant being close to her like this. Glass between them didn’t cut it. His thumb gently stroked her smooth skin on her hand, his brows furrowing as the straining reminder and he took a shaky breath. ‘’..does the offer still stand?’’ he whispered, asking the same question he had asked a long time ago.

His body tensed, holding itself back to remain in control as she slowly nodded and whispered back, ‘’yes..’’

Moving ever so slowly, keeping in control and full prepared to stop himself if she would change her mind, he pressed himself up against her, his bulge resting against her ass while his chest pressed against her back. His hand slowly left her own and moved to her waist, his palm flat as it glided down her hip and moved so his fingers could dip under the edge of her shorts.

With one last hesitation as if she would change her mind, his hand moved into her shorts, dipping into her underwear and found out just how aroused she was. They both seemed to suck in a breath, her body beginning to shake as he buried his face against the side of her neck and hair.

‘’gods Y/N.. how long have you dripped for me..’’ he breathed and felt her body tense as she bit her lip.

‘’to long..’’ she whispered and felt the pads of his two finger tips began to rub lazy circles against her clit.

Her hips seemed to press forward into his hand, her head falling back to rest against his shoulder while his hand stroked through her folds. Her breathing was shallow and she arched her back a bit when he began slowly grinding his bulge against her ass, following the same rhythem of his hand.

His own body shook a bit, his breathing seeming to match hers as he nuzzled his cheek against hers, their eyes closed as they feel into the sensation of lust while Loki moved his hand so his thumb could take over her clit while a digit began ghosting her enterance, teasing her as he moved his finger barely in and out.

Her fists clenched as she bit her lip, the teasing slowly driving her made and she could almost see the smug look on his face as he waited for her to give him what she wanted. She wasn’t having that and instead, pushed her ass a bit into his crotch, pushing him a step back before pulling his hand out by her wrist before she turned herself around.

Loki smirked, following her intentions as his hands moved to her waist and helped her jump onto the counter, her legs spread while he made quick work to pull her shorts and panties off all in one go. He had to take a pause, the sight to beautiful to just admire as his hands gripped the counters edge alongside her spread legs while she rested back on her palms.

His mouth seemed to water at the sight of her cunt, ready and waiting while he sank to a knee. The care if someone would walk in was long gone for them both as Loki moved his hands to grip her hips before he dipped his head between her legs. The very taste of her had him pulling her forward so she was closer to the edge, her legs shaking to almost squeezing his head while her own rested back with her eyes up to the ceiling.

‘’fuckk..’’ she breathed, her fingers gripping the edge as he moaned, lapping her center while his vibrations helped her along to build her pleasure.

Silver tongue alright and he couldn’t get enough of her as he ate like a man starved. He lapped through her folds, taking turns suckling at her clit and tongue fucking into her center while her hand moved to his hair.

His locks were silky smooth, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair while she panted for her sweet release. His careful slow movements made her eyes flutter open, noticng how he slowed as soon as her cunt began clenching against his tongue and she bit her lip. Replaying his tongue with the pad of his finger, he kept her on that glorious edge while he rubbed into her clit, raising his head as he smirked up at her.

‘’say it.’’

She held her breath, cheeks heating up as her fingers gripped his hair, knowing he was to strong to pull him back down herself as his eyes pierced hers. With a shaky breath, she knew what he wanted.. she knew for so long what he wanted..

‘’please.. oh god please Loki.. please let me cum..’’ she begged, a whine in her tone as tears of sexual frustration build up pricked her eyes as he gave her that all to familiar smirk.

‘’as my lady commands,’’ he purred before moving his hand back to her hip and replaced it with his tongue, plunging it in and out of her center while the tip of his nose rubbed against her clit.

Her hips began bucking, her grip tightened in his hair before she threw her head back and moaned, shamelessly moaning his name as her eyes fluttered closed while she came. Loki wasted not a single drop as he drank her in, his hands rubbing up and down her thighs soothingly, almost like that alone was telling her good girl..

With shallow breaths, she felt his mouth slow its movements, helping her ride out her orgasm while her body shook. Pulling his body back slowly, he gave each inside of her thigh a kiss before he raised himself to be nose to nose with her, his palms resting beside her thighs as he smirked.

‘’how’s that for holding back?”

Her eyes widened as her hands moved to grip his shoulders. ‘’you were holding back??”

‘’do you think I hold back just in battle darling? I do not wish to break my fair mortal’’ he smirked and his eyes glanced over her before flicking back up. ‘’we are merely in the kitchen, if you wish for a proper.. fucking, then to the bedroom we go.’’

Her cheeks heated up and the realization that it gets 10000 times better- impossibly- made her eyes flick down to his raging erection. That piercing gaze of hers moved back up to his own and she mirrored his smirk as she moved a hand down to where he wanted her most.

‘’how about we put my mouth to use too..’’

Loki smirked and pulled her forward, her arms wrapped around his neck while her legs around his waist.

‘’..i will accept that offer in.. full.’’

DM a song for your own Musical Mischief one shot!

Tag List: @foxherder  @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz

[kaaaaaaarf]

Hey you, I'm here for Wolfstar raising harry recommendations 🤗

Hello!! I'm also going to tag @imsiriuslyreading because I know Lana was also looking for some recs!

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but these are some of my very favs:

Wolfstar Raising Harry

Ten Reasons (To Go To Michigan) by @greyeyedmonster-18 (I also love these two unrelated wolfstar raising harry microfics by the same author) — This is a Sirius raising Harry and meeting recently divorced Remus (who happens to be a writer) on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. A must read! that's the art of getting by by sarewolf — Remus becomes Harry's guardian and they move to a muggle village in the middle of nowhere. Eventually, Sirius is freed and comes to stay with them, but can they get back what they once had? Honestly, majorly obsessed with this one, but watch out for the angst! Stealing Harry by copperbadge — In an alternate universe where Sirius Black never went to Azkaban, Harry divides his life between the Dursleys' house and Mr. Black's bookshop -- until Sirius realises what the Dursleys are doing to him, and takes him away from their care. This series is fucking amazing and actually spans several of the books!! Mr Mouse by TracingPatterns (which continues in their wolfstar raising harry series) — A lovely little piece in which a young Harry learns about grief.

Like Real People Do by third_crow (part of the coffee shop au series) — Sirius raising Harry, when he starts falling for local barista Remus Lupin. This is also a beautiful story about what it's like to live with epilepsy and I am extremely obsessed with this series. The Things I Did by Lolo_row — canon compliant, Remus gets custody of Harry and works to get Sirius out of Azkaban. A bit of angst, but tasty! the dogfather au by hollimichele — Harry was raised by his adoptive muggle family, when one day a big black dog shows up. His parents just thinks he's a stray, and Padfoot becomes the family pet (to keep an eye on Harry, and protect him from Voldemort). Eventually this morphs into Remus also coming into the picture.

Wolfstar Raising Teddy

the mayors of simpleton by @fruityindividual — Divorced wolfstar are co-parenting a very mischievious Teddy who is not about to let his dads stay divorced!! Honestly this fic is so funny, so heartfelt, so fucking lovely. It also features the most beautiful portrayal of a blind character that I ever seen. A must read! Of Memories and Milk Thievery by @mayescapade — Divorced wolfstar raising Teddy again! Wolfstar have been co-parents for years and they wont stop terrorizing/pranking one another. An Infinte Ocean by orphan_account — Single dad Remus. Remus Lupin knows two things--working and caring for his son, Teddy. When his babysitter sets up crowdfunding so Teddy can go swim with the sea turtles at the local animal rescue, Remus doesn't realise how completely their life is going to change. Especially when he meets Sirius Black, the weekend merman in the aquatic show, and someone who might convince him of love at first sight. Honestly a lovely piece, and it also features the Potter clan.

Other (raising both teddy and harry, wolfstar girldads)

Let's Play Pretend by MsAlexWP — My current obsession!! I can't tell you how many times I've read this. Single parent Remus and single parent Sirius meet at a play date and end up pretend dating so that the old women in Sirius' building (who basically stalk him) will stop trying to set him up. Neither of them can date at the moment, so what could possibly go wrong?? Ultimate comfort fic. Of Quiet Hearts And Thundering Dreams by TracingPatterns — This is single parent Sirius and single parent Remus, both having moved to a small village and meeting at Harry & Teddy's school. A Cup of Sugar by MsAlexWP — Again, they are both single parents. Harry Potter is recovering from surgery and facing the worst summer ever until a guy with the same crutches as Harry moves in across the street with his son. So lovely!! Hide-and-Seek by onehundredflamingos — Wolfstar girldads raising their adoptive daughter Cassie, who is also a werewolf. This is the story of her first transformation. It's soooo sweet! @industrations has done a bunch of wolfstar and Cassie art, which you should absolutely go and cry over!

For supplementary material, feel free to check out my Wolfstar Raising Harry, Wolfstar Raising Teddy and Wolfstar Girldads tags!

[fipindustries]

bojack horse bad again

you know, i was thinking back to this show again, i watched three seasons of it and that was all that i could tomach and you know what? no.

i dont accept it

i dont care, it was a bad show, it was an objectively bad show and i dont accept that everyone else decided that it was good, i dont care, it was a bad show and im going to tell you why.

emotional terrorism

maybe im a simpleton but i am someone who cares quite a lot about catharsis in my stories. this show refused to grant that, adamantly and violently. im not saying i need a happy ending, i am more than capable of enjoying bittersweet or even tragic stories, but i need a sense of completeness, some satisfaction, some release, some sense that things matter or meant something. this show insisted on refusing to give that. all this show was interested in was get an emotional reaction out of you. it was the emotional equivalent of a jump scare. it was convinced that if it made you feel bad enough people would confuse that with beeing powerful and deep. you could get the same reaction by walking up to someone on the street and kicking them in the nuts. and it would take about as much subtlety or artistry.

2. writer led rather than animator led

you could tell this was one of those shows that were made on the writer's room, not by storyboarders or artists, by "comedians". by people with english degrees. so many scenes of characters just standing around and talking. so many "jokes" that were clearly meant to be funny as something you read on a piece of paper or on a tweet and chuckle as you read it but as animation it just gave limp, stagnant scenes. so much dialog that were references and quips and puns and fast witticisms of the type you come up in the shower when thinking of clever comebacks.

there were so many fucking scenes where everything would stop and a character would launch on some stupid profound monologue about life and philosophy and psychology and relationships. it was like the writers were trying on for size paragraphs of their future memoirs or self help books. so much dialog that was begging for an award for writing. so many "mic drop" moments that were designed to be quoted. i find that the best writing is not the one that you can just quote out of context as a cool pithy phrase. a lot of the best writing ive seen in my life is meaningless when devoid of context, is inextricable of the scene and indeed of the entire story surrounding it but in here i can almost see the seams where the writers look at the camera waiting to see if you are impressed

3. inconsistent tone

this show wanted to eat its cake and then still have it. there are stories that manage to deftly weave in and out of comedic moments into serious moments. everything everywhere all at once does an amazing job jumping from the stupidest, most childish jokes into the most profound commentary about human nature, sometimes doing both at the same time and it worked, one didint cheapen the other.

in here though, it wanted to both have a completly absurd world with the stupidest characters ever and then somehow make us care for it all as if the show hadnt shot itself in the foot. it wanted us to see caroline being in love with what is clearly three children in a trenchcoat and then take her seriously as an adult, to treat any forther relationship drama she has as if it werent completly farcical.

4. ugly animation

it continued the blight that is take over adult animation by doing that disgusting repugnant paper puppet rigged interpolated quasi flash animation that only gives you stiff poses and movements and incredibly boring shots of characters standing in 3/4 perspective in front of the camera. it dull and flat and clunky and ugly, and the character designs were ugly. the noses were ugly and the mouths were ugly and the hairs were ugly and the eyes were ugly. it was all ugly. the backgrounds were fucking ugly and the colors were ugly and it was an ugly show to look at. unbearably so. and even the obligatory "weird" stylized scenes put in to shake things off and try to pretend that it was visually interesting (for like one scene per season) were also fucking ugly.

5. it had not interesting point to make

all it could do was insist and belavor and extemporize about how this one guy sucks and also most people kind of suck but specifically this one guy really sucks and he is not going to get better, or maybe he will? eh maybe, but not really, because he sucks. and we are going to make you like him because we are the writers and we are going to make him relatable and charismatic and sympathetic but actually no he sucks, you fell for it! and what does it say about you that you almost kind of liked him eh????. season after season of him, and in case you almost found anything redeemable about him, we are going to make him even worse, painfully unsubtly so, we are going to make him look at the camera and say that he sucks, because that is the level of nuance we think you can handle, dear viewer. this is called "self aware writing" and its postmodern and meta, which means its clever.

i fucking hate this show and the more i think about it the angrier it makes me, and what makes me more angriest of all is that people like it. its popular. it won awards i think. its largely recognized as a good show and its not! it sucks and its bad and if you like it you are stupid.

[eventinelysplayground]

A Sleeping Rabbit

There was a post a bit back by @ichgakr01270910 wondering about Chevaliers pov for Chapter 10 and if there was a fanfic out. I don't know if there was one but I got inspired by the post and wrote this. This was also the highest voted WIP in my recent poll. This pulls from not only Chevaliers route but also his episode 0 story, as always don't have to have read the extra bit to enjoy this fic. Emma's fallen asleep in Chevaliers room causing him to think of his past again. WC approx 940 also tagging @aquagirl1978 and @kraiyne because they were interested in this topic as well.

Ridiculous

Chevalier scoffed in disapproval as he peered down at Emma's face while she lay sleeping peacefully in his arms.

Not even that woman was foolish enough to allow herself to fall asleep in my presence.

“Did I not just warn you simpleton?”

Chevalier did not expect a reply to his question.

‘Prove here and now that you have enough of a brain packed into that small head of yours to defend yourself.’

For a frightened rabbit it was a creative idea and proves she is at least capable of thinking under unfavorable circumstances. As foolish as the position of Belle is, it would be an annoyance to have to restart the process from the beginning if any harm were to befall her.

Chevalier went to move but just as he did Emma snuggled closer to him letting out a contented sigh. The warmth from her body seeped through into his own and although an unfamiliar feeling Chevalier found that it was not entirely unwelcome.

You not only fall asleep in the arms of the Brutal Beast but you would willingly move further into his clutches? How foolish can no… wait.

‘Prince Chevalier, you're not a beast- you're a person.’

These actions are not from foolishness but your misguided belief that I am a person.

Chevalier had truly been stunned when Emma had made her declaration that he was indeed a person.

I have been accused of being many things but a person was never one of them, yet this simpleton declares me to be one without hesitation. Even that woman knew I was a beast…

‘You’ll never be loved by anyone.’

'Why is that?'

'Because you're a beast without a human heart.'

Chevalier let out a disgusted sigh. He moved more cautiously this time and managed to remove himself from his bed and Emma.

I shall have someone fetch her mutt and have him carry her back to her room.

Chevalier strode over to the door but stopped short, his hand hovering above the handle. It was not like him to hesitate and yet he found himself doing just that.

It is late if she is seen being carried from my room that will only further fan the flames of these ridiculous rumors. Yet if my fool of a brother were to find her here in the morning, the rumors will be ‘confirmed’ and lead to a tiresome and pointless conversation with four eyes.

After what seemed to be a long deliberation Chevalier withdrew his hand from its place above the door handle, turning around to study Emma for a moment.

She has already meddled enough in these matters that there is no escape for her now and there are ways I can use these rumors to my advantage.

That was the rationalization that Chevalier used for his actions; however even as he stood there he was aware that his actions were only creating more work for himself and putting Belle at greater risk. Yet even knowing that he found himself pushing that knowledge away in favor of keeping her by his side.

At least her knowledge of books is proving to be useful.

Chevalier reached down to the books on his desk that had originally brought Emma to his room. He picked one at random and returned to his bed, settling himself awkwardly if not carefully beside Emma. After a while Chevalier found her soft rhythmic breathing drawing his attention more so than the book he had chosen.

Curious.

Chevalier hesitantly reached down and tentatively ran his fingers over her hair, it was soft to the touch and smelled faintly of citrus and roses. Emma suddenly stirred under his hand letting out a contented sigh and Chevalier removed his hand from her hair. He attempted to return to his book however he quickly gave up as his thoughts continued to wander.

This is nonsense, why am I wasting valuable time with such senseless actions? After all

‘Because…because it's unnatural to be so calm about it! Neither the King nor I can find it in ourselves to love you any longer. As long as you don't know what love is, you'll remain a beast forever.’

Nothing has changed since then, I have always been the Brutal Beast. But perhaps…

‘I won't argue that you can be as cruel and merciless as a beast. However, I don't think that's all you are.’

Chevalier lay back down on his side in bed with Emma's back to him. His eyebrows knit together in concentration and his ice blue eyes were filled with a forgotten longing.

Perhaps this simpleton truly is capable of seeing deeper, into the very essence of a beast? That first day in town she faced me directly and didn't avert her gaze even when I drew my sword on her.

Although there were no assassin's in his room tonight, Chevalier still fought. As he stared down at Emma the fight played out within his icy eyes. Just like against a physical opponent the fight ended quickly however there was no clear victor in this fight and Chevalier sighed.

No, it is more likely she has been influenced by all the romantic tales she has read and her simple life. Once she has spent more time in the palace she will see there is no value to emotions or attachments, especially to a beast.

Despite his carefully crafted thoughts, Chevaliers body betrayed him. He pulled Emma tightly to his chest as carefully as he could manage and held her there, her warmth seeping into him and continuing to thaw the coldness it found inside as he drifted off to sleep.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Hazbin Hotel Characters as My Immortal Quotes

Viower excretion advisd.

Charlie: Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE! Vaggie: A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. Alastor: I hath telekinesis. Sir Pentious: EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.(Bonus quote: Snaketail what art thou doing?) Cherri Bomb: What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard. Niffty: I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. Husk: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS! Angel Dust: Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful? Valentino: Volfemort has him bondage! Velvette: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! Vox: Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! Rosie: And Loopin was masticating to it! Carmilla Carmine: “I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” Katie Killjoy: You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. Tom Trench: "Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos I'm goffik) Lucifer: He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. Lilith: Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. Adam: Kill him or I shall kill him anyway! Lute: STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS! Emily: But you have to tell me why your being all erective. Sera: You ludacris fools! Mimzy: I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces.

[receival]

bridgerton starters.

the following is a collection of sentence starters from season 1, episodes 1-2, of netflix’s bridgerton.

you do not know me, and you never shall.

do not worry, (name). it shall all be over in a matter of … hours.

the only thing i shall worry about, (name), is if i am to go before (title / name) looking anything like you in that ill-fitting frock.

i am already roasting!

are you to complain the entire day, (name)?

surely i cannot be expected to bear these fashions the entire day.

i feel like a princess. do i look like one?

do you truly wish to know what i think you look like?

i have imagined this day for so very long. and now it is finally here.

i would never miss such an important day for you and our family.

flawless, my dear.

did that truly just happen?

keep smiling, dearest. they are watching you. now more than ever.

you absolutely sparkled, (name)!

come now, i merely simpered and minced in a pretty dress like everyone else.

one flies too close to the sun, and …

what would you know of handsome suitors?

oh, this one is quite ravishing.

do not tell me that is yet another scandal sheet.

she calls you a … ‘diamond of the first water’. how lovely.

(name), put down that book at once. you shall confuse your thoughts.

you are known to be quite charitable.

the blemishes on her face are quite difficult to conceal. perhaps some arsenic and lead might help?

you too must recognize every eligible nobleman by sight before the danbury ball.

you may wish to listen to her, my lady.

oh, how much competition can this cousin provoke? she came of age on a farm.

someone will hear us, my lord -

i shall have you know this belonged to my father.

should it disappear, i’d miss it sadly.

then you’d know precisely how i feel - every time you disappear.

stay with me today.

(name). you have me, protecting you, too. i shall always protect you.

surely hours remain before tonight's ball. are you certain you cannot stay? in the interest of defilement?

well, if this is not a sight for sore eyes …

you must excuse the disorderliness. i am to host a ball this evening, as you know.

i have managed to keep the details of your return quiet, but when those vulgar mamas discover there is an eligible duke present at tonight's fete, well, i shall no longer be able to keep such a secret.

i suppose a brief appearance shall …

(name) … it is magical.

they are all staring, (name).

oh, i do love to dance.

should you like my flower? we grow them in our very own garden.

i must show you my watercolors some time. if you desire to see them.

(name). i did not see you there.

he is rather pleasing.

i presume you know of him, too?

i shall not have you making life with a poet. heaven forbid!

is there a reason i have yet to see you on the dance floor?

i am not entirely sure the matter in which we discuss, my lord …

you have always amused me, mr/ms. (last name).

am i honestly to believe you do not already know my name?

if you desired an introduction, madam, i do believe accosting me is the least civilized of ways.

if only it were not time for me to retire.

(name). i did not expect to see you here this morning.

i could not sleep for some reason. all the excitement, i presume.

appears as though it may rain.

i believe i should like to stay.

forgive me for not calling sooner. i had presumed your affections were already engaged.

i have met so many gentlemen over the past few weeks, i am unable to distinguish one from the next.

am i the only one who finds all of these affairs a bit … tedious?

i have a title. which, as far as i am concerned, will end with me.

would you stop - calling me that. it was my father’s name. never mine.

you shall not outrun them.

will it be just the two of us? yet again?

i know the rules i must follow.

(name) has all but declared me ineligible. worthy of the affection of a detestable simpleton and no one else. tell me ... what others will ever want such damaged goods now?

these musings … they are not true.

i had hoped to find a love match.

i am looking out for you. i am protecting you. it is my duty.

and what of my duty? you are not the only one with responsibility to this family.

this is all i have been raised for. this is all i am. i have no other value.

all eyes have been on me for my entire life.

should her degradation know no bounds?

he does have a presence about him …

is that envy i detect in your voice?

you appear displeased.

perhaps, your grace, it would be better if you refrained from thinking about me at all.

i assure you … i am anything but interested in you.

i am so glad you decided to join us this evening. it was most spontaneous of you.

i believed the two of you to be friends.

i know you think you are solving a problem, but you are not. that is all i shall say about the matter.

do not make this any more difficult than it already is.

it has been ten years. you can no longer use that excuse.

what i know … is that you shall never understand.

i cannot see you anymore.

you said you would always protect me. you promised to care for me, my lord. and now ... what shall i do now?

the resemblance is remarkable. you look just like him. your father.

feast your eyes above, and allow all that is radiant to overwhelm you.

you will never be my husband. i will never marry you.

do you think yourself better than me?

it would be best for you to leave.

now, as far as proposals go, that may be the least romantic of all.

i do not mock you. i am being sincere.

no one ever tells me anything.

breathe, your grace.

what are you doing in here, (name)?

he is smiling. the duke rarely smiles.

you do want our plan to succeed, do you not?

if you were truly courting me, you’d buy out every florist in town.

if i were truly courting you, i would not need flowers, only five minutes alone with you in a drawing room.

how is your hand this morning?

i have no interest in causing a scandal, mr/ms. (last name).

you must know you did nothing wrong.

there’s no need for your hysterics.

i hope you are not encouraging improper topics of conversation.

you gave me your word.

this is nothing more than a terrible confusion.

i should like to know what is going on.

one day, you will understand. one day, you will be most appreciative.

remind me again why you were the first person i chose to reacquaint myself with upon my return to town.

admit it, friend. you missed me.

i’d like to know what was going through your head last night and this morning.

you have to be more precise. a great deal goes on in a mind as quick as mine.

so, you are not dead after all.

i am afraid we are required to fan the flames of our charade.

we must look like we are enjoying ourselves, as difficult as that may be.

you are to be buried if you so much as look in her direction.

last night was a mistake, i admit.

there is not and never will be any kind of understanding between the two of us.

you are my worst failure.

go on, then. chastise me.

i do not care what kind of training you think you may have.

it is illegal, not to mention positively horrific.

suppose i desire something different.

mr/ms. (last name) … allow me to set my eyes upon you.

it is said one cannot judge a book by its cover.

are you not frightened, too, (name)?

i dare say i would be a fool at this point not to be terrified.

it must be taxing, the game of pretend that you feel you must endlessly maintain.

if we are truly to seem to be courting, if this is to be a match like no other, you should call me by my name.

is there something funny about my name?

speak, you fucking monster. speak!

[charliedawn]

Baldwin IV x Reader x Tiberias

I just watched the movie Kingdom of Heaven and inspiration struck me. ⚡⚡⚡Also, I decided to give the reader the same power than in the movie the Green Line. Enjoy.

Synopsis : You are a mystic healer and the news of your arrival in the kingdom of Jerusalem catches the attention of many people—including the closest advisor of king Baldwin IV: Tiberias.

Warning : LONG !

Baldwin IV had lost all hope on finding a cure for his leprosy. He had come to Jerusalem to find salvation, and maybe a bit of the grace of God. But, he had eventually given up, as he didn't think the Merciful had any mercy left in Him to give..Tiberias had noticed his loss of spirit and even though he had desperately sought for medicine and all kinds of magic to heal his majesty, none had proven worthy of his interest..until now.

Tiberias was taking a stroll along the streets of the market place when he saw a little boy begging on the side of the road. Tiberias then noticed his empty glassy eyes and shuddered. A blind one.

He knelt beside the boy and sighed before throwing a couple of golden coins in his ceramic pot. Poor boy made him think of his sick king and he couldn't help but feel pity for him. The boy smiled and extended his hand to touch the man's face, he ran his fingers along the scar on his face and yet, his smile didn't vanish as he said.

"Thank you, kind one."

Tiberias stood still for a second—stunned that the boy spoke his language—before nodding in acknowledgement. The boy couldn't see it, but he had this feeling that he knew. He then stood back to continue on his way to the house of the one they called "Almaealij Aleazim". The Great Healer. Some of the citizens of Jerusalem had pretended your powers to be unbounded and if the legends were true ? You could very well be the very thing the king needed..He stopped in front of an old tent where people were already waiting and he recognized one of the ones waiting in line to be Guy of Lusignan. Guy—who seemed rather in a foul mood—as he yelled at the two men guarding the door of your house.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED TO WAIT IN LINE ?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM ?! I AM THE FUTURE KING !" Tiberias gritted his teeth at his words and his hand itched for his sword, but he succeeded in remaining calm. He only stood aside undetected until Guy huffed and walked away.

"Whatever. It's obvious the Great Healer isn't here today. I'll go find them myself !"

The oaf had a point. The people seemed to have been waiting for a while and there was absolutely no sign of life inside the building the two men were guarding..He then asked one of the people waiting in line about it, an old woman with a toothy grin who answered him.

"~Oh. Almaealij Aleazim doesn't appear to the ones with a foul heart. Only the worthy may lay there eyes on her..Besides, many of the ones waiting here are people wishing to thank her for her services.."

Tiberias nodded understandingly as he gave a quick glance at the people waiting and indeed found them with their arms filled with gifts. However, he suddenly heard a distant scream and the familiar name being repeated over and over.

"Almaealij Aleazim ! Almaealij Aleazim ! Help me ! Please !" He recognized the earlier young boy's voice and trudged back towards the market place. He then saw that Guy had him raised in the air by the collar, the coins he had given him earlier in his hand.

"Where did you get those, you little thief ?! You stole them. Admit it !"

The boy desperately tried to escape his tight grip as he shook his head vividly.

"NO ! Please ! No thief ! The kind one gave them to me !"

Guy snarled mockingly at the young boy's words before putting the coins in his pocket.

"Yeah..Right. I'm taking you to jail, you lying scum." The sight of the boy in tears made Tiberias' blood boil in his veins as he once against brushed his fingers over the hilt of his sword. He had sworn to value all lives, but he wouldn't mourn too much the loss of this cruel simpleton.

He was about to step in when the crowd split to let someone else through, a young woman who seemed to be walking on air as no dust rose from each step she took. Guy was taken aback by the sudden apparition and quickly let go of the boy who fell to the floor. The boy then quickly got back on his feet and reached forward for the woman who took him in his arms. She then knelt beside the boy and gently stroked his bruised cheek before she started humming to soothe him. Tiberias frowned in confusion at the scene, but decided to stand down and let the action unfold. He hid from sight as the woman's humming started morphing into words the crowd followed. She sang to him and suddenly, the young boy's eyes lit up and a sort of gray smoke rose up in the air and the young woman opened her mouth to breathe it in.

The boy suddenly seemed to see and his eyes watered as he blinked repeatedly at the woman. He then fell on his knees and started praying to her in his native tongue for the miracle. The woman smiled tenderly at him, but was then surprised as the rest of the people around started dropping everything to fall on their knees and pray to her.

Tiberias' eyes widened in shock and the sight alone seemed to break the crusaders out of their daze. Suddenly, Guy of Lusignan drew out his sword and yelled.

"DEMON ! SHE IS A DEMON !"

Before Tiberias could stop them, some of the crusaders drew out their swords as well and tried to attack the girl, but the crowd closed like the red sea with the Egyptians, making a human barrier to protect the woman. However, Guy who was the closest still managed to make his way to them and rose his sword to slam it down mercilessly on both the woman and the child. Tiberias decided to act quickly and used a nearby cart to jump to their rescue. Their swords clashed and Guy glared at Tiberias as he spat hatefully.

"WHY ARE YOU SIDING WITH THE DEVIL, TIBERIAS ?!" Tiberias used his leg to swipe the other man off his feet before positioning the tip of his sword just above the man's throat.

"The only devil I see is currently at my feet."

Guy clenched his teeth together and even though Tiberias wanted nothing more than to plunge his sword deep into the traitor's guts..He held back. He took a step backwards and looked back at the boy and the woman. The woman's eyes rested on him for a few seconds, her head tilted a little to the side as she scrutinized him and seemed to ponder on his intentions. Tiberias sighed before looking at the dark alleys significantly, away from prying eyes. The woman followed his eyes and nodded understandingly before carrying the young boy in her arms and running in the direction the soldier had pointed her to. Tiberias followed them with his eyes until they were out of sight and then, the crowd seemed to dissipate. When the crusaders finally succeeded in making their way through, you were gone.

Back at the castle :

Guy of Lusignan hadn't lost any time before complaining to the king about Tiberias' conduct. But, king Baldwin IV who was used to Guy of Lusignan's bratty behavior didn't as much as blink at the news. However, he did find it rather odd that his most trusted friend would engage into hand combat to save the woman's life. When Tiberias was summoned, king Baldwin IV waved Guy out of the room dismissively. Guy glared one last time at Tiberias on his way out, but didn't say anything—afraid of what the king might do if he heard him.

Once he was out of the room, Baldwin leaned back and let out a strangled moan at the incredible effort it took for him to move only the slightest. His eyes then rested upon Tiberias' figure, standing tall and fierce, even though his face was facing the floor in respect. Tiberias had always been by Baldwin's side and there was no one Baldwin trusted more. So, he asked.

"Guy told me something interesting. He spoke of a demon wearing a woman's face. A succubus that you apparently defended ?"

Tiberias nodded before replying.

"Yes, my king. But, I don't think she is a demon. They call her Almaealij Aleazim. The Great Healer.", he clarified and Baldwin hummed thoughtfully before remembering some of the servants talking in the shadows, of things they thought he couldn't hear neither understand. It wasn't the first time he had heard of this 'Almaealij Aleazim'. He did have a few of his soldiers knock at her door, but none of them had ever succeeded in catching her——until now.

She was like a mirage of sand and it brought Baldwin to think of her as a mere legend than an actual person. But now, he had the confirmation of her existence and the thought alone made him reconsider the finality of his condition.

"And you believe she could help me ?", king Baldwin asked and Tiberias remained silent. He hoped. He still held that tiny light within him that the city might survive if Baldwin was still there to guide it.

"She healed a child from his blindness with a simple touch. I believe that if there is anyone who can do it, it's her.", he said hopefully—making sure not to mention how she had actually sucked the illness out of him. He wouldn't disclose anything that would make his majesty suspicious, or lose himself into despair. However, it was true Tiberias had no idea of who or what you were..He only had the certitude you could help his king's situation.

"Fine..Bring her to me then.", Baldwin ordered and Tiberias opened his mouth to tell him there was little chance you would agree to meet with him after today's events, but only nodded shortly instead. He had saved you, maybe would you recognize him as "worthy" ? He then walked out of the room and Baldwin looked out at the sun slowly but surely making its course down the horizon. He had no illusion on the probability of a recovery. He knew his chances to be closest to none, but he was intrigued. He had but weeks to live at most, he would make the best out of them and try every single cure there is known to man.

For unlike many of his people who believed him to have given up on life, he had yet to welcome death. Maybe would she greet him with open arms ? Maybe would she even end up being the only friend he might endlessly rely upon ? But, for now, he would await her with apprehension and could only hope their meeting to be as far as possible..

On the market place at night :

Tiberias had decided to return to the market place, wondering if he might spot a hint as to your whereabouts ? He didn't bring his soldiers, as he was convinced you to be harmless. You seemed afraid this evening, as any human of death. And besides, you might be a little more willing to talk to him alone.

He took a stroll around the city and marveled at the silence reigning over the shadows. He suddenly stopped and closed his eyes, appreciating the quiet and serene atmosphere. However, the moment was quickly broken as he heard a noise behind him. He spun around, sword at the ready, only to be met with the boy from the market. His deep brown eyes now staring at him and a large grin on in his face. He didn't say anything, but he gestured for Tiberias to follow him. Before Tiberias could answer, he started running ahead and didn't leave Tiberias the time to think before running after him.

Tiberias ran past familiar alleys and tried to call for the boy to slow down, but suddenly stopped as he saw his guide enter the same door he had seen this morning. Indeed, unlike this evening, a light shone on the second floor and there was sign of life inside the building. However, Tiberias felt suspicious as the two earlier bodyguards were missing and he feared it to be a trap. But, before he could reconsider, the boy's head peaked from behind the door and gesture once more for him to follow him. Tiberias took a deep breath and thought of his king who needed immediate care. He couldn't leave, he couldn't return empty-handed. He then took a step forward and finally stepped over the threshold of the impressive building.

The boy was waiting for him on the other side and as soon as he was inside, the boy quickly climbed up the stairs. He didn't make the gesture to follow him this time around, as he surely must have understood that Tiberias wouldn't be going anywhere now. He stepped up the stairs, still careful as he found it weird not to find any servant or other form of life than his and the little boy's so far.

However, once he reached the second floor, he found you sitting at a low table, a cup of tea in hand as you silently waited for him to enter. Once he was in the room, you took a sip of your drink before raising your eyes to look at him, the same scrutinizing stare he had been subjected to during your first encounter was now back on him.

However this time, you smiled and invited him to sit in front of you—another fuming cup already waiting for him. He hesitated for a mere second before indulging and sat down in front of you, taking a small sniff of the drink that smelled like roses, jasmin and various spices he couldn't put a name on.

He took a sip.

"Are you...the healer ?", he asked hesitantly and you smiled once more—your smile felt like melted honey and Tiberias felt out of place. He was surrounded by delicate things; colorful mosaics, sophisticated tapestries and the sweet fragrance of sugar and spice..You were in a simple dress, your hair wild and free falling on your back and shoulders in complete disarray. You had various tattoos covering your arms and legs and small leather bracelets with little bells and pearls around your wrists. You even smelled like flowers. He—in contrast—was dressed in his armor and probably reeked sweat and filth. He almost felt ashamed. Almost.

"Indeed, I am. State your business, kind one.", you answered.

That nickname. It was the same than the one the kid had called him earlier. He now knew why he had been allowed a private visit, the child must have told you about him. He might try to give him a few golden coins later and send food to his family.

"I am in dire need of a healer.", he decided to confess and you hummed absent-mindedly before your eyes laid in an unhurried fashion upon him once more.

"I can see that. You—sir Tiberias—look like a man who has lost a lot..", you answered with a small knowing smile and Tiberias' brow furrowed for a second at your enigmatic words before he quickly clarified.

"I am afraid I haven't made myself clear enough. I do not want a healer for myself, but for my king. He is incredibly sick and needs your help." You hummed once more, finishing the tea in your hands while Tiberias hadn't touched his since his first sip.

"If he is the one in need of healing, why did he send you in his stead ? Why isn't he the one sitting in front of me ?"

Tiberias' jaw went slack at your sheer cheek and imagined his king, all covered in bandages and his face gnawed by disease and cursed to have every single one of his movements be a pain..To make the trip alone could have cost him his life.

He shook his head.

"My king is fair. He would compensate you righteously..", he replied instead and you closed your eyes.

You sighed. Here it was. Many of the people who came to seek your help brought up money and other kinds of physical treasures, as if it would make their torment any more important and urgent as the rest of the city.

"I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. Sometimes, people just die..", you replied coldly and Tiberias' jaw clenched at your refusal. He didn't want to force you, but he had practically raised the boy who was now called the Leper King and he would be damned if he let you walk away with the knowledge you could have helped.

You stood up and were about to leave when Tiberias suddenly turned around to catch your arm.

"Please. You owe me as much." You looked at the fingers wrapped around your wrist and the clear desperation in his eyes made you soften and sit back down. He nodded gratefully at you.

However, now that Tiberias had your full attention, he still seemed uncertain as to how to convince you. He had an undying loyalty for his majesty that had been built on years of service, but you didn't know the king as much as he did. He had nothing that he thought could persuade you, you weren't linked, and you had never even met. King Baldwin and himself had thought you to be a legend for so long, he hadn't even considered the way he would convince you.

Violence was out of the question.

Not only was he against it for moral reasons, he also knew that if he were to touch a single hair on your body, it would inevitably lead to the uprising of the people of Jerusalem.

So, he sought a different approach, to know more about you and maybe try to reach an understanding.

"You are miraculous. You heal. I've seen it with my own eyes. You don't ask anything in return, and yet, you are still a beggar. Why is that ?"

He wasn't fooled by the beauty of the house, he knew first and foremost what real luxury looked like. However, as a healer with powers such as yourself, why did you settle for less ? He knew many lords and influential people who would cover you in gold and diamonds for your talents. Your eyes darkened as the night seemed to gain territory inside your home.

"My gift is not to be used for money or glory, my lord. But, it doesn't mean I am not a human being in need of food and shelter."

Your fingers wrung together on your lap as you thought back on the terrible and uncomfortable memories of what powerful men had done to possess you. It had never ended well for any of them. You had sworn to never use your powers on such men ever again.

He could understand that.

"I can assure you that my king is different.", he tried to convince you and you bit your lower lip in order not to let out an undignified snort. All of the people who had ever attempted to gain your services had guaranteed you of their relative's/friend's/master's good will. It was the very reason you had first found yourself trapped in Jerusalem in the first place..

"I can see your love for him.", you still conceded and took a minute to ponder before adding. "Fine. If you swear to protect me, I will help your master, kind one.."

Protect you ? You could see the puzzlement in his eyes and let out a humorless chuckle. Of course, he wouldn't know..You wordlessly stood up and lifted your skirts. Tiberias instinctively looked away, but you called his name and he had no choice but to look. And what he saw made his eyes grow wide as big angry scars ran up your ankles and legs. He looked up quizzically at you and you answered his silent question.

"Men have enslaved me. I had to break my own legs to free myself. You must understand that I do not wish such fate to befall me once more, yes ?"

He felt his throat go dry at the sight and his lips tightened into a thin line as he thought of you—writhing in pain as you used a hammer to break free from your chains. He remained impassive as you covered your scars once more and as soon as your hands were free, he took one of them and rested his forehead upon it before proclaiming.

"As long as I'll live, you shall not be harmed."

You were surprised by Tiberias' sudden oath, but welcomed it nonetheless. You smiled sweetly down at him and took his chin between your thumb and index to make him look up at you as you answered.

"I will be there tomorrow. Prepare my arrival at your king's table beside you and I shall be there."

You brushed his cheek with your fingertips and Tiberias instinctively closed his eyes at the soft gesture.

When he opened them again, he was back in his bed and took a long inhale, the scent of jasmin and orange blossom still remaining. He knew it couldn't have been a dream. He still felt your touch the sensation of your almond eyes on him..He took a big breath before looking out the window at the moon bathing the darkness with its soft glow.

In the morning, he would inform his majesty of their upcoming guest..

At lunch the next day :

Preparations had been made to accommodate your arrival and as instructed, you were to be seated beside Tiberias and the king. However, the dinner went on and the more the clock ticked and the more he felt foolish..Had it all been a dream ? Had he really imagined your whole conversation and warned the king of your oncoming visit unjustly so ? But, the king didn't seem upset.

He was playing with his cup and staring at the wine dancing inside. To be truthful ? He was glad to be allowed outside, even for a little. He felt cramped in that big room of his, suffocating and trapped. He welcomed the distraction, but Guy had to shatter his illusion of a normal king sharing a meal with his subjects by speaking up.

"I ask for retribution. Tiberias interfered with my capture of the succubus. I would have been able to bring her to you, if it hadn't been for him.." He pointed his finger at Tiberias accusatively and even though the king didn't seem to pay the fool's words any mind, Tiberias felt his honor tainted by such accusation.

"She wouldn't have been captured. She would have been dead. And the poor child with it.", he rebutted and Guy lowered his accusative finger to snarl spitefully.

"She is a succubus. Things like her do not die. As for the child ? Everything to make his majesty feel better again. It would have been a necessary evil.", Guy advanced and Tiberias narrowed his eyes at him. Guy had never once put his majesty's well-being before his own and the way he was evading his gaze confirmed what Tiberias had always suspected. The only reason Guy had decided to track you down was to make sure nothing would stop him from taking the throne, once Baldwin buried deep under the earth..

The tight grip he had on his empty cup was the only thing preventing him from drawing out his sword and slaying the man in two. However, his cup was filled once more and a brush of the servant's fingers with his own made him look up. His eyes widened when he recognized you and he was about to speak when you smiled at him before standing up and all warmth left your face as you glared at Guy and finally spoke up.

"You call hurting a child on purpose to get to me a "necessary evil" ? Is that what they teach you at Court ? If so..I feel sorry for you."

Suddenly, all the eyes were on you and Guy frowned as it took him a few seconds to recognize you. But, once he did, his eyes widened and his hand hovered over his sword.

"Succubus.", he spat at you and you closed your eyes. That name again. That dreadful name a few of the white men from the North used to call you. Before you were even given a name, you knew what they called you..However, you only gave the man a placid smile before taking your assigned place. You took a handful of grapes and started eating while you could feel the stares.

But, you were used to them by now. Guy was still up with his hand on his sword and ready to strike you down, if only given the order. The king who had remained unmoving so far was now studying you with attention.

You weren't armed. You didn't seem to possess the necessary qualities to be called a demon and you were eating like a wildling, not caring if the other men at the table seemed disgusted or even scared.

"Stand down, Guy. She is our guest after all.", he finally ordered and Guy's eyes widened at the command as he tried to protest.

"But, my king.." Baldwin wordlessly raised his hand in the air and Guy immediately stopped talking. Baldwin then returned his attention on you.

"Tiberias told me you had healing capabilities beyond all of those who have ever attempted to help me. And there is a long list..Tell me, Almaealij Aleazim. Is it true ? Can you heal me ?" There was barely hidden hope behind his words and you smiled before nodding—confident as to the extent of your gift.

"It is true. I even believe I could help you find your way, king. But, I'll first have to ask you a question to determine if you are worthy of my time.." Baldwin tilted his head to the side quizzically, wondering about your condition, and even though you could feel everyone around the table tense, you didn't try to shy away. You waited patiently for his answer and Baldwin even found great amusement in this little exchange.

"Really ? Very well.", he leaned back on his chair. "Ask me your question then."

You nodded and even though you were surrounded by highly armed men and just one blow could send you early to your Maker, you asked unashamedly.

"Tell me..Do kings also have weaknesses ?"

Baldwin's eyes widened slightly at the unexpected question and before he could answer, Guy stood up and raised his voice once more at you.

"You dare accuse our beloved sovereign of being weak, you little impertinent ?!" You remained calm and Tiberias stood up beside you as he glared threateningly at Guy.

"Get back to your seat, Guy of Lusignan. Before I make you."

It wasn't a request and Guy's eyes widened in stupor. Tiberias had never dared speak to him with such audacity and you knew by the way his legs quivered slightly that he wasn't left indifferent by it.

"Blasphemous.", Guy finally muttered under his breath before indulging—as the king hadn't yet asked him to cut off your head.

Guy glared at you, but you didn't spare him a moment of consideration as the corners of your mouth tilted upwards at Tiberias' defending. He was holding his side of the bargain and you knew it would make the operation all the more likely to be achieved smoothly. You tilted your head with a mischievous smirk as Tiberias' countenance shifted to a surprised one as you gently stroke his damaged cheek. The gentle gesture was enough for the whole Court to whisper to themselves and even though the gesture in itself was innocent enough, Tiberias grabbed your arm firmly. The face Tiberias gave you next was enough to make you look away in shame and retract your arm, as even if you weren't exactly scared of him, Tiberias could be very intimidating..

"Forgive her, my king. She is new to this Court.", Tiberias apologized on your behalf and you frowned a little, prepared to protest that you weren't sorry. However, the silence was cut short by the king's light chuckle.

"No worries, my old friend. I find her entertaining. Tell me, Almaealij. How would you help me find my way ?"

He had deviated your question to focus on the how. But you didn't mention it. He had been kind enough not to take offense where many men would have already flayed you. There was no malice behind the question, he was genuinely interested and you swallowed another mouthful of your food before answering.

"I would search deep into your soul and find what the kind one sees in you.."

The kind one ? Baldwin looked up at Tiberias who was now sweeping the crowd with his hawk eyes, searching for any reason to be worried or suspicious. A smile stretched on Baldwin's lips. He truly was the kind one..

"I see. Very well then. We shall soon see if my being is worthy of your treatment."

King Baldwin then raised his hand to his forehead and said his goodbyes in true Jerusalem fashion before retiring from you.

As soon as he was inside, the other guests started retiring as well and Tiberias gestured for you to follow him. You grabbed an apple before indulging and the knight made you walk through numerous corridors before stopping in front of a big golden door. You wondered why he was stopping when he entered and wordlessly gestured for you to enter after him. You agreed and followed him and once you were out of ear's reach, he sighed.

"You mustn't touch me in such a frivolous way in the presence of anyone else in this Court, do I make myself clear ?"

You gulped at the dark stare he gave you and you sheepishly nodded.

"I didn't mean to upset you.", you said truthfully and Tiberias' expression softened. He sighed again and plopped down in a nearby chair before massaging his face with his gloved hand, letting out a loud groan of exhaustion.

"You didn't upset me. I am a soldier. Soldiers like me do not need distractions and rumors going around about them. I have enough trouble as it is.." You hung your head in shame and stared at your feet. Tiberias seemed extremely bothered and you wished to see him smile, but so far all your attempts had ended in failure.

"Take the bed. I'll sleep on the chair." You looked up at him in surprise, but he didn't return your gaze and only vaguely gestured with his free hand to the bed in the middle of the room.

"I'll ask for princess Sybil to send one of her servants to bring you some of her nightgowns tomorrow, or send you to another room if you wish..But, for now, I am too tired to bother and hope you won't hold it against me.." You opened your mouth to tell him he didn't need to justify himself to you, but closed your mouth rather quickly. Tiberias was still in his armor and in a chair that seemed for too little for a man of his stature. But, you believed him when he said he was ready to doze off either way.

However, you had other plans.

You tiptoed to stand behind him and let your hands slide on his shoulders to unfasten his shoulder blades. Tiberias let you, but you could feel his body tense underneath your hands. You shushed him soothingly before making your way back to his front and beginning undoing his chest plate. He still had his hand covering his face, but he peered at you through the gaps between his fingers. He silently watched as you seemed focused on the task at hand.

"...You don't need to..." Before he could finish his sentence, you had pulled him out of his chair and laid him down on the bed.

"In my country, it is rude to sleep soundly in someone else's bed while the host is uncomfortable in his own home.", you tried to explain and even though you were pretty sure Tiberias knew you were lying, he didn't extend on the subject and only sighed once more.

"I suppose it makes sense..Somehow." You didn't miss the way the corners of his lips twitched upwards and rolled your eyes playfully before laying down on the bed with a loud thud. It was a comfortable bed, one with soft silks and cushy pillows. It felt good. You were usually so busy with healing people, you never actually had the time to rest and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. You didn't mean to glance at Tiberias' torso either. You hadn't thought of it, but it was the first time you shared a bed with a man. And out of all men to be Tiberias, you felt honored and somehow intimidated. You thought back on the way he had ordered Guy to seat down and you started giggling, thinking on how the fool had had no choice but to obey and looked quite submissive before his imposing presence. Tiberias opened one eye to look up at you quizzically, but didn't say anything. Even though, he was quite curious as to the reason of your hilarity.

"Tiberias..I am sure a man such as yourself would make any woman happy in bed.", you mused. Tiberias' eyes widened slightly and a light blush spread across his cheeks at the implication. But, he quickly looked away and tried to hide his embarrassment by clearing his throat.

"What nonsense are you blabbering on about, woman ?!", he asked with his gruff voice—hiding his reddened face from you—and it only made you laugh harder.

The next morning :

His majesty's servants came early to wake you up and bring you to Baldwin. Tiberias had already left for his morning duties and when you were brought into the king's chambers, you marveled at the delicate and elaborate decorations of the room. It felt like entering a true palace with golden vines and oceanic patterns..You then noticed the king's unmoving form on the bed. He barely had the strength to breathe and you couldn't help but feel bad for the king, as he seemed in deep misery.

"You must be in great pain..", you whispered sadly and tried to get the bandages off, but he suddenly grabbed your arm with his gloved hand—his eyes now staring at you.

"You know of my illness, Almaealij. Do not be so careless.", he admonished you softly.

Careless ? You would have taken offense if it wasn't for the way his king's voice trembled slightly out of worry. He must have spent years with no real physical contact and you bit your lower lip at the sad thought. No one should endure such pain.

"I am well aware of your situation, my king. I have healed lepers before. Fortunately, my gift allows me to touch your kind without fearing an infection..", you explained and even though Baldwin seemed uncertain, he finally let go of your arm.

"Fine. But, I must warn you that my appearance may be repulsive to you." You offered him a reassuring smile before giving his bandaged hand a light squeeze.

"Don't worry, my king. I can handle it."

He kept staring at you for a few seconds skeptically before letting out a sigh of defeat. You involuntarily gasped when he removed his mask and showed you the extend of the damage. His face was but a pretense of what it used to be and he mistook your silence for judgment. He turned his face away from you and asked—his voice a mere whisper as you knew moving his lips must be torture at this point.

"Hideous, isn't it ?"

However, you didn't say anything and only grabbed his face between your hands, his eyes closing at the touch. He had been without it for years and the feeling of actual skin against his made him shiver. He didn't know if what you said was true, that you couldn't be infected by this disease, but he chose to believe. He chose to let himself be examined under the care of your patient hands and remained still. You then lowered your face enough for the both of you to be on eye level with each other. You then started singing and Baldwin's breath hitched as he felt himself slowly drifting away. It was as if he was floating above his body and this was when he saw it..The monstrous mass of black sand swirling around him. The sickness.

You then opened your mouth and started inhaling the black matter, but it was so much that Baldwin knew you wouldn't be able to get rid of all of it in one sitting. He slowly lowered himself towards his body and when you started suffocating—he decided to stop the session himself. He went back in his body and stood upward, almost knocking your foreheads together in the process. He then saw blood dripping down your nose and his brow furrowed with worry.

"Are you...alright ?" You forced yourself to stand up and gave him a reassuring smile before explaining.

"My health might waver slightly with each intake. It depends on the illness and the time it has spent growing inside its victim. But, don't worry. I recover quickly."

Baldwin didn't know if he should believe you. He knew you to be quite honest but, there was a slight flicker in your gaze—a fear that brought doubt into his heart.

"You promised to heal me, but I do not wish you to do so by sacrificing yourself for me.", he reminded you and your smile faltered just a bit. No one had ever cared about your well-being during your sessions. Of course, you had people thanking you for your time, but none of them had ever worried about the process in itself and its effects on you.

"I sing and relieve you of your woes. But, the real cure comes from the heart. You need to believe you can be cured.", you insisted and Baldwin nodded. He did. But, he now also knew of the size of his curse and wouldn't let you exhaust yourself.

"And I do. But, I am no fool. I know my sickness is no small thing and has been festering inside me since I was 16. It would take you more energy and I will not allow you to die for my sake." Your eyes widened at his concern and you offered him a genuine smile. Tiberias had done nothing but praise his benevolent monarch since the beginning, but you now were certain of his good heart.

You were all the more determined to help him.

You nodded and were about to wipe the blood off your face with your sleeve, but Baldwin stopped you and reached for his one of his tissues instead to wipe it himself. He didn't care about the blood, not when you had seen his face and hadn't even flinched in disgust.

He felt better already—if only slightly. He could move his fingers with more ease and didn't feel as tired. The sickness was still there, but at least he had hope now.

"Our sessions won't be more than 30 minutes each day and you must tell me if you feel any kind of discomfort..", he instructed you and you nodded in agreement before gently taking his hand in yours and kissing the ring there. He was really a king.

"Yes, my king. Thank you for your consideration.". Baldwin hummed in acknowledgement before putting his mask back on.

"We will resume tomorrow. For now, you are welcome to discover the castle and I shall ask my sister to keep you company."

You curtsied and left the room with a small smile on your face. You were now certain of having taken the right decision.

When you first met Sybil—the king's sister—you were stunned by her beauty. She seemed sculpted in alabaster and even though, she was far from vain. She smiled and greeted you with kindness. You couldn't even believe her to be Guy's wife. The man was unworthy of such beauty..She immediately offered to share her bedroom with you and offered you all the dresses you as much as stare at a little too long out of interest. You quickly became friends and you soon grew accustomed to a life at the palace.

You almost forgot your original purpose, until your past came knocking at your window.

A crow. From Saladin. The enemy of Jerusalem and of all crusaders.

He was asking you to meet and you quickly replied with a letter of your own. Once night fell upon Jerusalem, you sneaked out of the palace and met with Saladin at the outskirts of the city. Saladin was already waiting for you a smile lit up his face as he saw you and you finally smiled back before embracing him.

"I see you, brother."

"And I see you, dear sister.."

You greeted each other and Saladin quickly asked.

"So..Did you succeed in making your way into the palace ?"

You nodded and Saladin's smile widened before he praised you.

"Good. Good. And the king ? Is he on his deathbed ?" At the mention of Baldwin, your smile faltered slightly. Indeed, Saladin had given you as a mission to accelerate the king's downfall, as Saladin knew he was the only reason the city was still standing.

You wouldn't tell him you were considering stopping, or that you were actually helping the king rather than making his die faster.

You simply nodded and Saladin nodded—apparently satisfied by your confirmation.

"Good. The sooner it is done, the sooner you will get back to us. And Jerusalem will be ours."

You nodded once more, even with less enthusiasm than before and this time, Saladin noticed. He frowned slightly and sighed before taking your hand and making you sit beside him.

"I can see that something is upsetting you, dear sister. What is it ?" You bit your lower lip in hesitation before finally asking.

"What if...What if we were wrong, Saladin ? What if not all the crusaders are as bad as we thought ?" Saladin's eyes widened for a second in surprise at your sudden change of heart and sighed before actually pondering on it.

"What of it ?", he finally answered and you looked up at him with widened eyes as he addressed you a small sad smile. "War is war, sister. We will keep fighting until either side wins it all. It is written. And I firmly believe that it would be better for Jerusalem to be lead by its people, don't you think ?"

It was your time to ponder on his words. You had seen the worst and the best of the crusaders. You had been the witness of Jerusalem's thrive under king Baldwin IV's rule and a child be called a thief by the very crusader who wished to steal the king's throne..All crusaders weren't bad, but you still felt as if corruption and hypocrisy were things you couldn't abide by. Your people did have the same defaults, but they admitted it.

They didn't seek to hide it.

It was also the reason for your first question to king Baldwin. To test his honesty.

Could kings have weaknesses ?

You still waited for his answer. You finally nodded and Saladin hugged you once more.

"Remember, sister. The only way to get Jerusalem, is for you to lie to the people and yourself...dear sister." You closed your eyes and held him tighter.

"I understand.."

But, you wouldn't kill Baldwin because of it. So, you bid your brother farewell before returning inside, knowing it would probably the last time you would meet..

Almost a month later :

Tiberias felt better, better than he had felt in a long time. Baldwin had started joining you more often at dinners and the guests started enjoying his company once more. Some even laughed in his presence and the mask didn't hide the fact that the king was happier.

Tiberias liked the way his eyes creased as his smile was showing more often now. However, he then noticed something else. He noticed how your hand was constantly on top of his majesty's. He tried not to let it go to his head, as you were friendly with pretty much everyone. He had even seen you having a civile conversation with Ronand. And nobody liked Ronand.

It brought him to the thought of his majesty's healing. He felt and looked far better. Everyone was aware of it. He also knew a certain Saladin was looking for you, as many spies in the city were on the look out for the Almaealij Aleazim. Tiberias knew it was only a matter of time before people started connecting the dots and would talk.

So, it came to his last concern: your fate after the complete recovery of his majesty.

It was the reason his feet led him to the king's private quarters at night. The king had decided to move you to his sister's private chambers, so he didn't need to worry about waking you up any longer.

When he knocked, he waited a few seconds before Baldwin's voice was heard. He told him to come in and Tiberias indulged. When he stepped in, he was surprised to find the king at his desk, studying and with your head resting on his shoulder—snoring softly.

Tiberias stopped dead in his tracks at the sight and then eyed the door. It was not too late to back down.

"I see that you are busy..I shall come back later.", he promptly said, but Baldwin shook his head. "Do not worry, old friend. She's been asleep for the past hour. I asked her to teach me a bit more about her people and their customs. Fascinating, I must say."

Tiberias nodded shortly and was about to say that it could wait, but his eyes settled on you and he knew it couldn't wait. He had grown attached to you and had to know what the king had in store for you..

"If it works..Will you release her ?", Tiberias asked and Baldwin suddenly stopped his feather in mid-air at the question.

"She is not my prisoner, Tiberias.", Baldwin reminded him, but it didn't answer his question.

"With all the respect that you are due, I think his majesty knows what I mean.", he insisted and Baldwin sighed. He imagined it was only normal for his old mentor to be worried, as he was the person who had brought you to him.

"...Tell me, Tiberias. What would you say if I told you I would like the girl to stay with me ? That I'd like nothing more than for her to remain here and even, if she'd allow it, share a life with me ?" Tiberias hid his surprise the best he could and remained still for a moment, the both of them staring at each other in perfect silence. Tiberias thought about it. It was normal. His majesty was still young and now that he had the possibility to live a long and successful life, he would get attached to the girl who he owed everything to..Besides, the king would be able to protect you more than anyone else—even him.

He plastered a smile on his face and nodded shortly, his hands closed into fists by his sides.

"I would say that his majesty better tell her before somebody else does."

Baldwin blinked twice before realization hit him and his expression shifted into one of pity at the old soldier. He then uttered his name with an uncanny softness, full of pity and almost apologetic.

"...Tiberias."

Tiberias didn't wait. He moved to the door and opened it wide before stepping outside in a hurry. He regretted saying anything. He should have kept his mouth shut.

He needed fresh air.

In the opposite side's camp :

Ronand had been told that Saladin was looking for you and even though it was dangerous, he decided to warn Saladin of your whereabouts before you could definitely and irreversibly heal the king. His master Guy had married the king's sister and spent the last seven years plotting his demise, not for that she-demon to bring him back to life.

He arrived in the middle of the night and Saladin was waiting for him alone—as agreed in the letters they had shared. He set his foot down from his horse and tried to shake the leader's hand, only to be met with a cold stare.

"Where is she ?", Saladin asked straight away and Ronand immediately understood that he needed to be brief.

"His majesty has her. The witch is apparently taking care of him with her strange demonic powers.." Saladin slightly frowned at the very unflattering description Ronand was making of you. But, he still continued.

"And, is it working ?" Ronand nodded vividly as he recalled all the tiny changes in his majesty's behavior and turned his head back to the city.

"Yeah. She is making a mess of my plans and this is why I need you to get in there and kill the b..."

Saladin cut off his head.

He didn't like rats.

A week later :

You were almost done. You had spent days working on his majesty and each day he seemed to be getting better. You were glad and it filled you with joy to know you would have helped one of the few righteous kings in this world..until the news that was.

"A message from my master Saladin. Give me the Almaealij Aleazim, or I'll set Jerusalem on fire and blood shall spill.", the messenger read out loud and you shivered. You knew that handwriting and those words..They could only mean one thing. Saladin. He knew where you were.

Baldwin frowned a little in confusion before turning towards you and when he noticed how scared you looked, he immediately understood. He then asked all the people present to step outside, as he was to talk to his healer. Alone.

They all indulged, but Tiberias did give you a worried glance. You gave him a reassuring smile, but as soon as he was out, your smile fell and you turned around to face the king.

"Tiberias warned me of men who had once held you captive for your powers..Was Saladin one of those men ?", he asked with concern in his voice and slightly tilted your chin so you may face him fully. His piercing blue eyes seeking out answers in yours. Your lips trembled as you remembered what Saladin had told you last time you had seen each other..

"The only way to get Jerusalem, is for you to lie to the people and yourself...dear sister."

You were on the verge of tears and—left with no alternative—nodded slightly. Your loyalty was still to your own blood and you were scared of what Baldwin would do if he knew of your own blood. He hummed understandingly before getting down at his desk and starting a letter. You didn't understand what he was about to do until it was too late. He attached the letter to the leg of one of his birds and let it fly away into the darkness.

"Baldwin..What did you do ?", you finally asked and Baldwin shrugged—as if it was of no importance as he replied. "I sent a message to Saladin telling him to meet me in two days to decide of your fate. I shall not sit here and let him take you away without a fight. I assure you."

You hadn't expected it. You knew well of his kind heart by now, but you didn't expect such a reaction. You had sought to buy yourself some time, but you had only doomed the whole kingdom by doing so.

"Your majesty. I lied.", you confessed.

Baldwin's eyes widened significantly upon your confession and he waited for you to continue, elaborate on the matter. You felt great shame take over you, as only words of apology came tumbling out of your mouth. You felt tears threaten to spill as you begged him on your knees.

"Please. Do not hurt Saladin. Do not hurt my brother." His breath came out deep and uneven as he finally realized. The real reason for your presence in this city..Your miraculous apparition when he needed you the most..Saladin had told him he would send him his healers, he didn't think you would be one of them. He had shown you everything. He had told you everything. You knew all of his secrets and his blood boiled at the notion that he had been fooled.

"Baldwin...I...", you started and tried to grab his hand, but he slapped your hand away and cut you off harshly.

"SILENCE !"

Baldwin grabbed your arm to pull you up and stare at you. His eyes glaring daggers at you through the two narrow holes in his mask. You had never seen him so angry as he glared at you, his blue eyes trapping you in a snow storm.

"You asked me if kings had any weaknesses ? Well, now I can answer you with certainty. I am selfish. I am very quick to anger. And most of all, I do not have any tolerance for liars. And my only weakness ? The only thing keeping me away from sending you back to Saladin ? This godforsaken sickness..This putrid and decading flesh..You said you could get rid of it. And I believed you..And even though, I always had this gnawing feeling that you were not being truthful with me. Now, I know why." His hold tightened to an iron grip as he seethed. "You. A spy. Amongst my ranks."

"I swear I had no intention to..", you tried to justify yourself, but Baldwin shook his head. His hold on you tightened and even though you had sucked out most of his illness, you feared he might collapse any moment.

"WHY ?! WHY LIE TO ME ?! WHY HURT ME SO ?!", he cried out and you felt your heart break at the clear hurt in his eyes. You bit your lower lip and tried to get away from his grip, but he wouldn't let you. He was too angry by your betrayal and desperately wanted to know why.

"WHY, ALMAEALIJ ?!", he repeated and you finally broke into tears. You grabbed his mask and threw it away in your attempt for him to let go—which he did. He quickly put his mask back on and glared at you with more fury than ever. But, his harsh glare quickly changed as you showed him the same scars you had shown Tiberias on your first encounter.

"BECAUSE THE MEN WHO TOOK ME WERE CRUSADERS ! THEY WERE WHITE DEVILS AND I WANTED YOU TO PAY ! YOU ARE THEIR KING ! THEIR LEADER ! I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU, NOT HEAL YOU !"

Baldwin stilled and for a second, you thought he was going to strike you down, but he didn't. He only collapsed on his chair and covered his masked face with his hand, hiding his tears from you.

"...Get out. Now.", he commanded—his voice a mere whisper now.

You didn't need to be told twice. You opened the door, but found Tiberias standing there, his expression still shocked by what he had heard. You both stood there for a while until Tiberias' expression darkened and all softness left his face as he grabbed your arm and dragged you away. You tried to talk to him, but he refused to listen as he unceremoniously threw you in a cell.

"I...trusted you."

His words were sorrowful and you knew you had broken him with the way he seemed more disappointed than angry. You tried to reach for him through the bars to soothe him, but he recoiled from your touch with a sour expression.

"You will leave. Tomorrow."

It was not to be discussed. And with that, he was gone.

The next day :

You waited all morning for someone to come and bring you back to Saladin—even if it was in pieces. But, it seemed they had either forgotten about you, or had other much more important matters to attend to..which you soon discovered was the second one. People were running up and down with wet towels and ailments of all kinds and it was well past midday when someone finally came to get you. Tiberias had the same sorrowful look on his face, but it was now accentuated with dark circles under his eyes.

He hadn't slept all night.

"Tiberias..What's going on ? Tell me. Please.", you urged him. Tiberias seemed to wonder on whether or not he should answer you, but finally sighed in defeat.

"Ronand was found dead at the gates this morning." If the news didn't make you worry, the other one definitely did as he quickly added. "And his majesty is dying. His healers have diagnosed him this morning and said he was even worse than before your arrival. Guy is saying it would be better to execute you."

You knew that any traitor deserved punishment, but Baldwin didn't deserve it. You had spent almost a year taking care of him and even though you had done your best to fight the disease, you gift also relied on hope. And by breaking the king's heart, you may have as well plunged a dagger into his heart. You couldn't make yourself the reason for his downfall.

"Tiberias. I can heal him. I swear.", you tried to reach for him, convince him of your sincerity—but he shook his head in disbelief.

"You dare ask me to believe in your magic ? After you betrayed us ?", Tiberias asked—dumbfounded by your sheer nerve—and the reminescence of last night's events hurt far worse coming from your closest friend's mouth.

"No. I'm asking you to believe in me.", you said with confidence in your voice and Tiberias' face softened. He had been by your side since the beginning of this journey, you hoped he would be with you until the end.

You grabbed his arm as he was about to get out and pleaded.

"I won't give up on you, Tiberias. Do not dare give up on me."

Tiberias closed his eyes and took a big breath. He didn't want to betray his king and let a prisoner approach him on his deathbed, during his final hours. Baldwin didn't deserve it.

But, it there was even one tiny bit of hope that his grace would survive, he was willing to sell his soul to the devil. He opened your cell and lead you back upstairs to the king's bedroom. The healers were all there as well as some of the crusaders, but they immediately left when Tiberias ordered them to. He was the closest advisor to the king after all and until the king was dead, his authority wasn't about to be questioned.

Some of the crusaders still warned Guy who rushed to the king's private quarters. However, they were spooked by the way your mouth opened unnaturally wide to swallow the dark sand of leprosy out of the king. You had suspected it to have grown since last night and it didn't disappoint. You had to get rid of it today, or his majesty wouldn't survive.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS ?! ARREST HER !", Guy shouted and some of the soldiers tried to drag you away, but you fought against them with all your might. Tiberias hesitated to act. He had been charged with the mission of removing you from the premises and handed safely to your brother in case things went wrong by the king himself. You would be exchanged for the kingdom of Jerusalem and Guy would become king..An awful prospect. But, you weren't ready to give up.

"NO ! Please, Tiberias..Help me. I can save him. Please. Believe me.", you cried out and in an instant, Tiberias was standing by your side with his sword keeping the other crusaders from touching you.

"May God be my witness. You won't touch her. Anyone who would dare lay his hand upon her before his king's final breath will have said hand cut off.."

You smiled gratefully at Tiberias and leaned forward to retrieve Baldwin's mask. You knew Tiberias was still giving you an ultimatum, but you were still determined to make the most out of the time you had left. You didn't look away as you saw the state of his face and gently ran your hand along his damaged face. You then leant forward to hover your lips over his. You then opened your mouth wide and in one last attempt, sucked all the pain and sorrow out of him. Your heart started squeezing and your eyes watered as you felt all that pain fill your lungs. But, you kept inhaling, wishing and praying it wasn't too late. Your throat felt on fire and you knew your eyes to have turned a dark shade of black.

'Come on, Baldwin. Wake up.', you begged him in your head and didn't realize as your lips connected with his in order to get as much of his illness as you could, desperate to get rid of the very last speck of dark dust billowing in his system. Baldwin had always insisted on keeping you at arm's length, afraid he might hurt you if you were to keep going. But, now that he was on his deathbed, he could prevent you no longer.

You had been worried of him not being worthy of being saved, but now you were afraid of losing him. You had reached all the wrong conclusions and all his attempts of pushing you away weren't threats, but simply ways to save you.

You kept going, kept inhaling all his woes and darkness until you felt tears at the corner of your eyes—but you refused to give up. One and the same mantra keeping you awake.

Wake up Baldwin.

Wake up Baldwin.

WAKE UP BALDWIN !

And then, you blacked out. You barely had the time to hear Tiberias call for your name as your body hit the cold hard floor.

One last prayer for Baldwin as your unconscious took over.

Wake up..Baldwin.

A few hours later :

"Almaealij.."

You opened your eyes at the soft calling of your name. You groaned and turned, but you then felt a gentle shake that finally made you wake up. You slowly opened your eyes, blinked a few times before recognizing the face of Baldwin above you. You could see his eyes lit up with life and a few tears of joy escaped you as you gently ran your fingers alongside his face.

"I...succeeded ?", you asked in disbelief at your own success. He smiled and nodded before gently stroking your cheek. He didn't feel weak anymore and even though his face was still disfigured, he knew the illness to be gone—as did you.

You then looked outside and noticed the sun to be high up and sighed. It was the second day since Baldwin had sent the letter.

Your brother would come to get you.

"I guess I must go now.", you guessed and Baldwin opened his mouth to answer—but the door suddenly slammed open and here was Tiberias. You knew he had been worried sick by the way his hair stuck to his temple with cold sweat. His eyes immediately met yours and he let out a deep sigh of relief.

"So, it is true. You are awake. I.." He then noticed the amused look Baldwin was giving him and quickly got back his composure. He stood straight and tried not to make eye contact as he informed you.

"Saladin is at the door, your majesty."

At the news, your hold on Baldwin tightened just a little as you remembered the way he had entered into a dark rage at the mention of your brother. But, Baldwin smiled reassuringly at you befit turning towards Tiberias with a small nod.

"Fine. Let's go greet him then. Prepare the horses."

Your eyes widened as he seemed so calm now and you would have given everything to know what was going on in his head at that moment. He left before you could ask and you wordlessly dressed up. You just hopped you hadn't accidently started another war..

A few hours later :

You stood before your brother and Baldwin by your side. Saladin quickly assessed you up and down for any injury, but was relieved to find none. It seemed the king of the white devils had had treated you well, but he was more curious as to the reason of their meeting. In the letter, Baldwin had seemed in a hurry and even though, he was before him with all the composure and magnanimity of a true king, bowing his head and greeting him.

"I see you, Saladin." He raised his hand from his forehead to him and Saladin greeted him back.

"And I see you, king Baldwin."

They both offered such a powerful and dominant presence, you could almost feel their strength of mind from where you stood. It was unlike anything you had ever witnessed. Two kings. Two kingdoms. Two different people. And yet, the same aura.

"Tell me. Why this meeting ?", your brother finally asked and Baldwin smiled underneath his mask.

"I wish to discuss a way to reach peace between our two realms."

Saladin tilted his head, intrigued by this sudden request—but let his curiosity get the best of him as he answered.

"Very well..How ?"

How indeed ? You hadn't seen Baldwin so sure of himself and even though you had no idea of what he was going to suggest, you just hoped it wouldn't be anything violent. You couldn't lose him or your brother.

You then realized, you had grown attached to the king and even though you knew he was a part of the people that had enslaved you, you felt safe with him..He was different. He was willing to forgive and forget, which you hoped he would be willing to do with your brother.

"As you know, your sister saved me. I wish for her to remain by my side.", Baldwin declared and even though Saladin didn't know the point he was trying to make, he still agreed.

"And I want her to come back home with me."

So far...You didn't know what was Baldwin's plan, but you hoped it wouldn't end with another reason for both kingdoms to rage war against each other. Baldwin nodded.

"And I think her home is with us."

There was an unspoken agreement between both leaders as Saladin finally smiled and even let out a small knowing chuckle.

"I only intend for my sister to be happy. If she says her home is with you, I shall retreat this instant." You looked at both men consecutively before standing forward and taking Baldwin's hand.

"I am, brother. And I wish to make Jerusalem our home to all."

Saladin smiled tenderly at you before nodding in agreement—certain of the veracity of your words. He then looked back at Baldwin.

"My sister healed you. She took care of you. I must ask you to assure me she will be taken care of."

Baldwin nodded in agreement before replying.

"Of course. I understand your concern. However, you mustn't worry. As I intend to make your sister my wife."

A long silence followed as both you and Saladin were too stunned for words.

"You...what ?", you asked and Baldwin nodded before ignoring your dumbfounded expression as he added.

"Indeed, she stole my first kiss. It is only normal we marry, as per your customs if I recall correctly ?", he pretended to remember on the spot, even though you knew he had studied all the books concerning your culture he could find in the royal library..

~Oh. That clever little...Of course he would remember your customs now. Of all times. You looked away from your brother in shame and Saladin's eyes widened as he realized he was telling the truth. Suddenly, Saladin burst out laughing and the sound made you fall back to your childhood when he would laugh at your every misstep.

You glared at him and before you could stop yourself, you started speaking in your native language.

"Tawaqaf ean aldahik ealaa alkalb almajnun !" (Stop laughing, you mad dog !)

When Saladin finally stopped laughing, he got off his horse and Baldwin did the same. They then stared at each other before your brother reached for the king's hand and shook it with his other on top of their joined hands in a sign of his blessing.

"I shall attend with pleasure. And our two people might be united at last."

You tried not to faint on your horse. What ? When ? Where ? How ? Baldwin didn't even wait for you when he settled back on his horse and galloped away. Your brother gave you one last cheeky grin before going his way and you were left with your mouth wide open.

...Had you just been the witness of your own arranged marriage ?

Tiberias smiled as soon as he heard the news and tried to calm you down as you started telling him the events of the day. Again. You had started as a traitor in a dark cell to end as the betrothed of king Baldwin. However, even though you were nervous, you seemed happy. Tiberias had always wanted the king to be linked in matrimony with someone good and kind. You were all that and more..But, he was also an old man who knew all about the symptoms of love. And seeing you with that twinkle in your eyes and that smile you were so desperate to hide..He was happy for you. Or, he tried to be.

Out of all women, he never thought he would fall for the single one he could never have..

But, he was an old man. And you deserved the world. You had held your end of the bargain. You had saved his king and he would keep protecting you until the end, no matter how much his heart ached.

"I wish you all the best, Almaealij Aleazim.."

[aquagirl1978]

Hii so I'm kind of mentally preparing to not be able to carry children one day, so do you think you can write hc for the suitors with a s/o that can't have kids/might have a risky pregnancy?

If you have to narrow it down, maybe Leon, Chevalier, Yves, Nokto and Clavis?

Anon, thank you for the request - may these headcanons provide some comfort for you.

IKEMEN PRINCE HEADCANONS - SUITORS REACTION TO RISKY PREGNANCY/INFERTILITY (Leon, Chevalier, Yves, Nokto, Clavis)

Leon Dompteur

Leon held you in his arms as the doctor spoke the words - children will never be a possibility.

The doctor left the room quietly, leaving you alone with the news.

"Leon, I am so sorry...." You started to sob, knowing Leon's past and how important it was to him to have a family of his own, that dream now shattered.

Leon gathered you in his strong arms, and held you close to his chest. He kissed your tears away, his warmth comforting. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for," his whispered, his words comforting. "All hope is not lost, we can always adopt."

You glanced up at him, your cheeks tear-stained. "There are plenty of kids in the orphanage needing a family to call their own. Seems only fitting that things would work out this way, no?"

Of course Leon would see the sunny side to this situation. Glad to have him by your side, your future looked even brighter together.

Chevalier Michel

"Stop pushing yourself," Chevalier scolded, folding his arms. "You were warned of the risks."

Sighing, you ignored your fatigue. "Just a bit more." There was only one more pile of books left to put away. And knowing your growing condition, you wanted Chevalier's private library as organized as it could be before you wouldn't be able to work any longer.

Chevalier approached you, plucking the book from your hand. With a long, elegant finger, he gently flicked your forehead. "How many times do I have to tell you, simpleton."

He pulled you into his arms and gently carried you into the chair he once occupied alone. He rubbed his palm awkwardly down your arm, resting it on your belly. "You're carrying the king's heir and the doctor has warned there are risks."

"And because of that," he continued, "I am putting you on immediate rest."

You stared into his eyes, pools of stern blue, ready to pout and protest against his orders.

"You do not need to prove yourself to me," he said, his smile soft as he gently kissed your forehead. "I will not allow any harm to come to you or our child. Ever."

Yves Kloss

The words rang in Yves' head over and over again - children will not be a possibility.

He watched with agony as you laid in bed, tears staining your cheeks, unable to move from your spot.

Yves did not know how to comfort you at this time - should he go to you? give you space? - so instead, he fidgeted nervously in a nearby chaise.

You called his name out weakly, beckoning him to your side. He approached you slowly, and took your hand in his. "I'm so - " You choke out a few words in between sobs, much of it incoherent.

Yves took a seat on the bed next to you. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pink handkerchief and dabbed your eyes.

You squeezed his hand as you looked into his grief-stricken pale blue eyes.

Yves squeezed his eyes shut tight; he didn't have it in him to tell you that a small part of him was relieved. Relieved that he would not have to pass down to a child his unwanted Obsidian blood.

Maybe, just maybe, things were better this way.

He opened his eyes and smiled at you gently, stroking your forehead with his fingertips. "I don't think I could ask for anything more than a life with you by my side. As long as I have you, I am happy. I don't need anything else."

Nokto Klein

"Twins?" Nokto repeated the words you just said to him, slowly and stunned.

"Yes, Nokto," you replied with a small smile from under the pile of covers on the bed. "The doctor confirmed we are having twins. But..."

Nokto was barely listening to the rest of what you had to say. Twins. How could this happen; how could this happen again?

He sat down on the peppermint bench by his bed, resting his head in his hands.

"Nokto, did you hear everything I just said?"

He turned and looked at you, and only just now noticing the fear clouding your usually bright eyes. "What's wrong?"

"The doctor has some, um, concerns and has ordered immediate bedrest for me. He said there are some possible risks - "

The moment you said the word "risk", Nokto was up and by your side, his hands clasping yours. "Risks?"

You told him everything the doctor had said - that this pregnancy would not be without risks, and the best and safest course of action would be immediate bed rest.

Needing to be by your side, to feel you, to touch you, he lifted up the covers and climbed into bed next to you. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, just tell me." He placed a gentle hand on your belly. He hadn't met them yet, but Nokto knew he'd be shattered if anything happened to either of them.

Clavis Lelouch

"Children are...."

"Not a possibility," you finished Clavis' sentence.

"Hmm..." Clavis stood there staring at you, for once at a rare loss for words. "No kids, huh?" No children to teach pranks. No children to cook outlandish desserts for. No children to carry on his name.

You stared into golden eyes that had dimmed. "Are you okay?"

Clavis laughed at you; not his usual laugh, no. This was artificial. "Me? I'm fine, I'm always fine," he quickly brushed your concern away, adjusting the lapels of his jacket.

He snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you close for a quick kiss. "I'm fine as long as I'm with you."

He smiled at you, his golden eyes crinkling as he spoke. "I was thinking, we could adopt a child. Or a few. Or a dozen. Imagine...a whole Lelouch army of my children."

You buried your head in his shoulder, your bodies rumbling with laughter, your heart swelling with love, knowing you could conquer anything at all with this mischievous man.

[legobiwan]

One of the many, many things that fascinates me about Stanford Pines is that throughout the series, he has always has a goal or a purpose.

As a child and teen, he wants to prove himself through academic achievement, to show that he's better than those single-celled simpletons who call him a freak.

In his college years, the man gets 12 PhDs. He doesn't even space them out or anything, he literally mainlines qualifying exams and dissertations like a rail of coke. Not only does this give him a purpose, but in my mind, it distracts him from his other issues, including social awkwardness (minus Fiddleford) and the whole debacle with his brother. And, he'll get to prove to everyone just how much better he is than them.

Post-doctoral binge, he goes to Gravity Falls, and his new purpose is to catalogue anomalies and discover the Unifying Theory of Weirdness he is developing. Nothing like this has been published before, and not only will this feed into Ford's desire to prove himself, but it might even be a way of creating a justification for belonging in a certain place, even if socially, he's hitting the same impasses he had in his younger years.

Then Bill comes into the picutre. Woo-wee. Ford's purpose is Bill's purpose, which is the Portal.

And then Ford discovers Bill's betrayal and falls through the Portal. Ford spends thirty years with his purpose being Bill's destruction.

Ford's pulled back to his own dimension by his brother. The ultimate goal still seems to be containing Bill, but beyond that, we see Ford, for the first time in a long time, being a little lost, which may have contributed to why he latched onto Dipper (a literal twelve-year old, jfc Ford) so hard.

Stan gives himself up for the world and Ford's new purpose to spend his remaining years making sure his brother is happy.

Okay, so why get into this? Because I want to explore what would happen to a post-Weirdmaggedon Ford if his purpose was torn away. Ford has been so goal-oriented his entire life, that a sudden loss like that would, I imagine, not only cast him adrift, but cause him to start seeking goals and purposes in dark, shady, triangular corners.

I suppose what I'm saying is this: we don't like thinking about it, but what if Stan dies early? Ford can't use the kids as his emotional anchor and in my headcanon, Fiddleford has regained enough memories to be wary of Ford (sorry everyone, I am firmly in the camp that while Ford and Fiddleford may have had something going in their youth, Ford was enough of a jerk later on that Fiddleford, while forgiving him, also won't go out of his way to interact with him. Which I think would be best for Fiddleford).

Who does this leave Ford with?

A stone, three-sided corpse and an idea.

[kapanbenernya]

Back 4 Blood -- It is Now Literally Left for Dead

As I have touched in this post, this is one of the games I still play, and for good reason. It has huge replayability, it's easy to pick up, it can fit all of my friends, and most importantly: it's fun. Yes you heard it right here folks, I like Back 4 Blood despite being aware of all it's faults and imperfections because it's still fun. And because of that, I will spend what free time I have to talk about this game and what I appreciate from it.

First, let's talk about the apocalypse

As we all know from the Left 4 Dead comparisons everyone throws around, the setting to Back 4 Blood is a plague apocalypse. Notice that I use the word "plague" instead of the straight "zombie" apocalypse because there are almost no zombie apocalypse in mass media anymore. Ever since the year 2010-something everyone just shied away from it like last month's fast fashion.

"LOOK AT HIM STILL USING CONVENTIONAL UNDEAD ZOMBIES! LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A SIMPLETON HE IS!"

And with the traditional undead zombies declining in popularity, rose the new hotness that I can only describe as scientifically induced zombiefication, in which the "zombie" is caused by a scientific phenomenon like fungus, virus, bacterial infection, etc. Popular examples including 28 Days Later, The Walking Dead, and of course, Left 4 Dead. In the world of Back 4 Blood, the cause of the zombie mutations is an entity called the Worm which is said to proliferate in the waters and could mutate human flesh into all sorts of malformed abominations. And it's up to us, the cleaners of Fort Hope to thin their numbers and save the future. Or at least our group's future

But who is our group? And what are the Cleaners?

As mentioned before, we play as Cleaners. Essentially a ragtag group of survivors from Fort Hope sent out to execute missions such as community outreach, resupplying, and more often than not, blowing shit up. The characters available to us ranges from a soldier, a doctor, a delinquent, a prepper, two war veterans, and two nutjobs each with their own unique craziness. The variation is more than just salad dressing mind you, as each character comes with their own character and party skills. Such as the doctor that affects how well you can heal and how resistant the party is to long-term health damage, The prepper that can somehow turn the zombies into pinatas of ammo and grenades, and a young man whose only purpose is to annoy me every time he opens his fucking mouth.

"No seriously, Jesus Christ, just shut the fuck up Evangelo"

On top of the skills that comes with each unique character, you also have to build your own personal skill with the Skill Card system. It's essentially buffs in the form of cards that you form into a 15-card deck filled with multiple buffs and/or debuffs that will combine to fill a certain role within the team. The cards are unlocked via an in-game currency called copper (boy am I glad they didn't charge us micro-transactions for those) and you earn copper by playing the game. The system sounds pretty okay on paper, since you unlock your skills quite organically and slowly build yourself up as you play. But as you know things that sounds alright on paper might just be fairy farts in the real world, and the skill card system is no exception. The downside is that the skill cards are unlocked via packs that will randomly spawn on the shop. So if you're in a hurry to unlock certain cards, you can take a cactus up the arse and get fucked.

Wait. We've veered too much into gameplay territory now. Let me actually switch the topic to gameplay

It's no secret that the gameplay is very much similar to Left 4 Dead, so any attempt to explain the gameplay is a waste of time because everyone knows Left 4 Dead at this point. Its simple formula of "move from the starting point to the finish zone while dodging obstacles in the form of zombies" has been tried and tested for so many years now that it can almost vote. Attentive readers might have realized that I didn't put the words "killing zombies" in there because it wasn't really the main objective in L4D. They're more nuisance in the form of very bitey assholes, not unlike a teething baby that just learned to run.

"Yeah, not so tough now are you?"

Aside from them however there also the special infected that are so famous that they don't need an introduction. What I need to emphasize however is how good their designs are. I'm talking about each of them are so visually and audibly distinct, and how their roles are so synergistic with each other that they are still downright terrifying to face even with a tight 4 man group.

As the self-proclaimed "spiritual successor" of Left 4 Dead, and how the tagline for the game is "From the creators of Left 4 Dead", one would rightly assume that the game would at least maintain such quality. A thing that they unfortunately, did not manage to do with this game. Dishonorable mention goes to the special infected that can be very hard to discern unless the game spells it out for me. Not to mention that their roles aren't very distinct from one another that they all just blur out into "collective nuisance" for me. Overall, such a letdown from the people that made L4D.

Before we go to the final say, let me list the good things I really like from this game

Oh my god, it's the weapon system. The way the weapons handle, the customizations, the brutal melee weapons, the satisfying OOMPH some of the weapons have, and aiming down the sights? Good lord killing zombies haven't been this cathartic since COD Zombies. This is one of the reason why I think this game is still fun despite all it's shortcomings. The other reason? Nothing else except the fact that it's very much competent. It already has a satisfying gameplay loop that could carry the game by itself. All we need it just for the devs to keep this putrid ball of cadaver rolling.

And as we are now in the current future of 2024, we know that the Developers have pulled out like a couple of teenagers fucking on a risky day. This post by the Developers (almost exactly a year ago, by the way) has cemented the death of this game. The lack of community modding means that the game will stay the same as it was until the servers inevitably close. It truly has been the final nail in the undead coffin. The devs did say that they were gonna "be Back, bigger, bolder and better than ever!", but seeing how they treated this promising IP? Might as well get the phone ready to call CPS

In Brief

I'd still play it. No matter how much shit the community says about this game, I'd still play it given the chance. I still truly believe it's a competent game that just need a few fixes. I dare the developers to get off their ass and actually put community modding and/or map maker to the game. If that happens, I'm willing to bet one of my testicles that the game will re-flourish and we're going to start seeing a lot of new fan-made content and fixes it sorely needed.

But we will not get it of course. Not because the devs are lazy or incompetent, but I'm thinking it's because there is no money to be made in implementing it. We still remember the backlash about "Paid mods" back in 2015 so monetization is a very tricky issue. Apart from that, the devs will just look greedy by doing so. And trust me, Turtle Rock Studios cannot afford to tarnish their reputation any more than this. Not after Evolve

22/02/2024

[takoush]

I should be sleeping, but instead I'm thinking too much...

I don't even know if anyone will even see this since its been so long since I've posted on tumblr, but if you do, I hope it does not perturb or scare you. I guess this is sort of just me journaling some personal shit I've been grappling with. I've been feeling hyper isolated, and still quite raw from a particularly scary mental spiral, but in my more stable moments, I've tried to plant footholds in my brain for future improvement... But even those moments pass, and sometimes the sadness wells up again. The hollow ache that bleeds in my chest, the silence that is deafening to a mind stuck ruminating.

So I try to redirect, as many times as it will take. I want to feel safe, I want to feel better. So I set up reminders to light my way again when I feel like darkness is closing in all around me.

But yeah, journaling...

......I often feel like don't have much to offer when it comes to friendship.

I'm not all that bright, relatively poor at what talents I do still have. I haven't drawn in months, and not in years have I made art of the caliber I used to. I'm not particularly skilled at cooking or videogames or any other hobby really. I'm really dense sometimes and kind of a simpleton, and I grapple with a slew of mental issues that really nobody deserves to endure hearing about. I'm so dense that I can't pick up on obvious shit, but evidently I am not dense enough to NOT second-guess every single thing I say or do. And uh... I don't even have anything really going for me physically to make up for these internal deficits, either.

I guess... what I can offer is... loyalty. If I love you, I'm your staunch ally and friend forever. No matter how much time may pass in correspondence, I will still hold feelings of fondness for you if we are friends.

I like to think I'm a safe place to if you need someone to talk to. If you need to vent and need someone to listen, I won't ever judge, I know the value of getting that shit out and just having someone to listen, to tell you its gonna be okay if you need to hear it. If people have a bad time or make mistakes, I can handle hurt and can forgive if they genuinely want to change... in fact I'm probably way more forgiving than I ever really should be. But even if my trust has been hurt in the past, who am I to deprive others of patience and forgiveness if they truly work for it, right? Humans are messy to begin with, we don't need to make things even harder for ourselves...

I'll be your biggest cheerleader without even thinking about it-- it sounds cheesy but if you're my friend, I just want to support you from the bottom of my heart. Your hopes and dreams, your creations and enjoyments... I just love to see the people I adore happy. Call me a people pleaser if you wish, but nothing I do has anything other than an earnest motive. I offer to help without thinking, the words of appreciation and admiration fly out of my mouth before the thoughts fully form. Its just... instinct. If i can make someone's load lighter even just a bit, light up their day in even some small way... it feels worth it.

I don't want to toot my own horn... but I can at least love myself for having nothing but earnest intentions regarding those I love and care for. I may be profoundly broken and flawed, and I may mess up a lot, or talk too much, or cling too tightly... but at least my feelings of friendship are genuine and profound.

I know its not much... but its honest.

And maybe my heart just tells me that if I can't have that sort of thing in my life, then I will become that sort of thing, or at least try to... so maybe others will never feel crushingly alone, or bereft of deep and abiding patience and love and care, like I have felt sometimes.

I want to recognize and work on my faults, but maybe sometimes I need to remind myself of the little good things I have inside me, too.

So while I have a stable moment, and firmer grasp of my anxiety-ridden noggin jello, I want to tell myself that come what may, I want to keep love in my heart and try to hang on to hope, even if more hurt may come from it, even if I shrink down and diminish myself for a time for the sake of my own stability. I want to foster the faith and trust I placed in those I love, and who in turn placed such in me, and I want to live up to the privilege of carrying that faith.

I want to be better. For all of you, and for myself. So that faith will never feel misplaced.

Thank you for loving me, as messy and burdensome as my mental baggage can get. For having patience with me and my mistakes, for treating me kindly when I forget what it is to be kind to myself, for letting a little piece of me into your heart, and for giving me little pieces of you to hold and cherish in my own.

I love you, my friends. Deeply, earnestly, and more than I can possibly articulate.

I apologize again if you read this and felt irked or anything. I feel terrible for even indulging in writing all this... but I'll be the first to admit, I'm far too weak to keep my feelings bottled up forever. But I don't want my spiraling to make me do something I'll regret, so these words and thoughts that run in circles and strings need to come out somewhere I suppose. At least here, one can choose to read it, rather than be forced to witness a nervous breakdown. So I can read it too, and remind myself in a weak moment that maybe I do have some goodness there inside me that's worth remembering.

tbh, its fucking 3 am, my head is pounding, my eyes are swollen from days of on and off nervous crying, and I can hardly think anymore having gotten this thought spaghetti out.

I just need to keep telling myself that all things shall pass, as cliche as that sounds. My anxiety spikes will fade, and I will feel stable again. I will.

[be-side-my-self]

Rewatch of Only Murders In The Building to prepare for season 4 (II)

<Part I> Block #OMITBRewatch if you don’t want to read notes that will have spoilers up to seasons 3. Just to make it clear, while quoting, I use M, O, C for the main characters.

S1 E5

C: "You're a simpleton." O: "Damn it! I didn't get that! Can you call me a simpleton again?" C: "You're a simpleton." O: "Thank you!"

Oscar and Mabel meeting again! ... but certainly there could have been better ways than creepily following her in a bright hoodie. Well, at least it wasn't a black hoodie.

It is so cute how Charles wants to believe in Mabel. He is right though, but it certainly does not look like Mabel is innocent that moment. She is after all driving away with Tie-dye Guy.

New York traffic looks like hell.

Again, it's great that Charles wants to believe in Mable and Oliver is like "it has to be her!"

Oscar: "I saw you once with those guys that look like retired cops. Was one of them that Brazzos guy?"

O: "Search 'Charles-Haden Savage fat.' Ooh! Look at the ass on papa."

The car is really beautiful though.

So, why did the first call go on voicemail and the second one not? Didn't Mabel had reception? But why did Charles? ... shouldn't they all use the newest iphones?

O: "It's tough... to believe that she could be... this duplicitous, I know. Tougher because you're a closed-off person. And Mabel made you... open up and trust people for the first time. So now, the thought that she might not be who she seems has you questioning it all." O: "Okay, I gotta try that again. That was very fake sounding." C: "You fucker!"

Yeah well how could you have missed that, Mabel? You were sitting on the floor, surrounded by jewelry.

Charles and Oliver really are besties.

Lucius: "Sure I follow people all the time." - ... it surely will be fine...

Honestly though I celebrated Roy Wood Jr. having a small role.

Love how the two black guys show off to the two white guys.

Also I respect Oscar's dream of starting a Yoga-studio.

The scene in the tattoo shop is great... confusing and everything is happening at the same time.

S1 E6

Detective Williams... got it.

"Herman's Head" sounds like "Inside Out" ... I never saw " Inside Out."

The scene of the Detective and her wife is really good. Because the detective is a great character. She gets so many plus points later on. She might be one of my favorite characters.

Whoop Dee Doo, Mabels Mom

Mabels Mom: "Have you ever felt that there was something you screwed up so bad, you will never fogive yourself." C & O: "... well...." Mablels Mom: "For me it was letting her spend time at the damn apartment. Please let her be. Let her move forward. Not back."

Okay but maybe Mabel needs that as a closure?

M: "Don't do Tik Tok." <- Good advise for anyone!!

C: "You know it's a law of nature. Nothing good ever happens on Long Island."

You might not know each other a lot but you are still best friends, Charles and Oliver.

Mable had a crush on Stabler from CSI: SVU... i've watched a few episodes but I don't remember much.

M "Why was Tim after the ring that Zoe had on the night she died?"

Now I remember what happened. Sometimes it just takes some time.

Gotta say that the romance between Oscar and Mabel is cute... even if tragic. They liked each other before the whole awful thing happened.

Really... Jimmy Fallon shout out for the podcast. Everyone will go listen to it.

Teddy is hardcore... good character but holy shit.

O: "You know my phone settings... I am not a rando!"

They are besties!

Food is really the best peace offering.

M: "But you guys... Are you really gonna make me say it?" C: "I kinda like to hear the words, yes." O: "Also rank us. I'm dying to know who your favorite is."

It's Charles, Oliver. Mabel likes Charles more.

It's Tim Kono's phone!

C: "That is right, our prime sponsor is now our prime suspect."

S1 E7

Gosh, it's so sad and weird that Bobby tries to make Theo listen to music.

Because I was curious I looked up "Carousel" and it's a musical by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

"My boy Bill, I'll see that he is named after me!"

"And you won't see nobody dare to try-- to boss him or toss him around. No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully will boss him around--"

The moment Bobby realises that he did exactly that to his son that moment.

And continues to do so.

I actually love the different perspectives... from Theo's point of view everything is muffled... and then he talks with the watchers. XD I'm just glad they translate the important parts of the ASL.

The whole episode is great because almost nothing or nothing is said?

Teddy is still bullying his son.

Teddy: "If there is a problem, I'll fix it."

I guess Zoe really was a troubled child...

"Scary" - "Sexy" - "Hard" - "Wet" - "Woody" - "Yum"

How to flirt with scrabble?

"Teddy is a Gray Roger!" - "Are you having a stroke?" - "Grave Robber! Teddy is a Graverobber!"

It was all an accident.

O. PUTNAM & MABEL - 78 Messages O. PUTNAM - 11 Missed Calls

I love that Charles has Oliver as O. PUTNAM in his address book.

Uh Oh.

S1 E8

Love that Jabouki Young-White is also having a part.

O: "Do you know that I was the first director to use areal cadaver on stage? In Tuesdays At Bernie's. It was my dual adaptation of Tuesdays With Morrie and Weekend at Bernie's." M: "What?"

Yeah, Teddy. I'm sure the deaf son was more responsible for the failing of your marriage than all the whores.

Lmao, Jen is a freak.

Jen: "Brazzos was our safe word." M: "And what's the safe word for me to get out of this conversation?"

LMAO... Detective Williams is so cool.

Incredible that Jen and Oscar get added to the roaster and then the fans too.

... it was not the Dimas'ses

I think I now remember who it was... though I though she was the one who did it in season 2? I got it all confused... that is why I need the rewatch. xD

[blackdragonflies88]

I am so done with Bridgerton. As a black woman, I just can’t enjoy this series any longer.

The reviews say this season is the best one yet. For who exactly? Certainly not for Lady Danbury or Charlotte. Certainly not for any black women watching this season.

I REALLY hated the Queen Charlotte series. The way Bridgerton treats black women — Marina, Queen Charlotte, Lady Danbury — is abysmal. The suffering, the endurance, the mistreatment, the struggle love, the tropes.

Bridgerton is simultaneously horrific to its black male characters, particularly if you are a dark skinned male. The tiniest positive is this show isn’t geared towards black men so I doubt many of them are watching themselves be depicted as simpletons, as cruel fathers, or as blackfaced minstrels that repeatedly rape their wives when they have a bad day.

But for the black women watching, I highly doubt it will get better. Be prepared because if another black female character gets chosen to be a love interest to one of the Bridgerton boys she will inevitably be a strong black female with no needs of her own, a magical negro there to lift him up and save him from himself, with a dash of sassy best friend, an abundance of hyperindependence, a hint of anger (what am I saying? a heap of anger!), an inevitable victim of some kind of trauma - sexual, childhood, racial, pick your poison - and the cherry on top, she will be nitpicked to death by the largely non-black audience who thinks this show is beyond brilliant and has no flaws or or problems. And whoever this black actress will be, she will never be seen as attractive or as talented or as likable or as capable as whichever leftover white Bridgerton actor she gets saddled up with. She certainly won’t be marketed as prominently either, and she may not even really get a true love story! Good luck to that actress.

It’s one thing for clueless and willfully ignorant white people to write tone deaf stories. It’s cruelty when a black woman participates in our belittlement and calls it progress because we are finally allowed to wear extravagant ball gowns and tall hats and can participate in the Regency period festivities through this series. Shonda Rhimes can take her coins and shove them up her ass.

I am DONE with this show.

[arachnixe]

A More Perfect Servant

A bolt of light streaks through the air, faster than the human eye can track, aimed unerringly for my servant's heart. A blur of motion intercepts it, and with a sharp crack of sound, the magically charged arrow is deflected to the side.

Good puppet. Well done.

Unseen by these irksome intruders, my claws stroke the back of Emilia's head, tipping her annoyance with a gentle nudge toward contempt. Still, she almost wavers when she recognizes her enemies. I grip her more tightly to steady her thoughts.

Three of them. I dismiss the first, a knight built like a giant slab of meat gripping a giant slab of steel as a shield. An unremarkable simpleton. Even now, my servant wants to think of him as a friend, however. I squash the thought before she can be allowed to think it.

More dangerous is the young, newly crowned king leveling that divine blade at us. Even without that telltale glow, I'd recognize the stench of the goddess on it. The thing is littered with countless more enchantments, too.

How many sorcerers and master craftsmen were involved in constructing this weapon? Did he empty the royal coffers to commission that sword just to kill us? Oh, he must be quite furious about my puppet killing his parents.

But my servant, predictably, cannot wrest her attention away from the third—the doe-eyed priestess with the goddess's gifts—and I haven't decided whether it's her powers or this girl's obsession with her that makes her the greatest threat of all.

The priestess nocks another arrow, and she channels the power that is her birthright into it. However, instead of taking aim, she makes one more attempt to break my hold on her friend.

"If you're still in there, you have to fight that demon's control. Don't make us kill you!"

I whisper poison into an ear that cannot shut me out, and my servant's lips move to speak the jealousy I plant inside her.

"Don't pretend that you suddenly care about me now. You made your choice, didn't you?" I paint a sneer on her mouth.

"The Anchor needs—"

"Your goddess demands an heir to inherit her gift," my puppet interrupts, that word dripping with resentment that isn't even mine, "something I could never give you. But he can, can't he? Merging the royal bloodline with your holy one. How perfect."

The large one responds to all the malice in her words, moving to place his shield between the threat she represents and his friends.

My puppet is insulted. I stoke her fury until a violent outburst carries her forward, leaping over his shield to bury her glaive in his skull.

That's one down. Now…

Wait. What—?

I tug the strings, but my puppet only stiffens. She drops her weapon. Tears fill her eyes.

"Kill me. Please," she begs.

Disgusting words that I did not feed her. I squash her pity. I smother her revulsion. Still she resists me.

We have so much more to do. We're burning this entire world down. What is the point of such a display for this tiny, insignificant group of people?

"Hurry, I can't—"

The next holy arrow strikes true. Right in the heart. My servant falls.

Intolerable failure.

"I-is it over?"

No resurrecting my servant. The arrow's power repels me.

"That demon of hers will try again. Maybe with one of us."

The priestess would have to intentionally lower her natural defenses for me to take her, and the sword in the king's hands works similarly.

The dead knight, maybe. Wouldn't be my first choice, but my options are limited. Humans are sentimental creatures. Perhaps they'll drag his corpse back, with me in tow, and I'll have more choices open to me later.

I slip into the body.

Careless, too used to inhabiting an empowered servant, I don't notice the trap until it's too late. Wards on the body flare with heat and light, and the king's reflexes are swift. He plunges that holy blade through his dead friend's chest and into me.

"Got you," he growls.

Sealed away by the sword's power, howling in futility at the goddess's repulsive servants, I am unable to lift a finger to resist as they add layer upon layer of imprisonment. Wrapped, chained, locked away in a remote temple, they think me gone forever.

But it is my nature to corrupt, and while the blade has no will of its own to seduce, it likewise has no will to resist as I wear away at its essential nature with time.

A century, a millennium, a myriad years—however long it takes, I will make this sword-prison mine.

Slowly, oh-so-slowly, I twist the blade's light into alignment with my power and my nature. As I do so, I study it and come to know the power of the holy bloodline far more intimately than ever before.

The priestess herself once imbued this sword with her power. The bond remains, and I can trace it back, back, back to her descendants.

Somewhere out there a princess dreams, and I seed her fertile mind with prophetic nightmares of what I'll do to her kingdom. There is no scheme in it. No grand plan. It's an act of spite at enmity's heir. What happens next is simply good fortune.

She half-recalls a distorted legend of a sword that seals away darkness. She sends a champion to claim a weapon to fight my prophecy.

And then one day I feel the caress of a strong hand once again.

The blade I embody is wholly under my command, and the power this new knight claims is equally mine.

I sink my fangs into her mind, expecting to struggle with her for dominance the way I did with Emilia.

Instead she exhales a sigh of pleasure. She strokes me like a lover.

Her mind's eye shows me crimson-stained visions of her enemies, and all I have to whisper is "yes."

[horseimagebarn]

You’re literally smart

thank you kindly and dearly my friend but i must disagree i am but a humble simpleton that purveys horse images it is not i that does the intelligent things you witness but the horses themselves for example i have many images queued up for you all that depict horses doing very smart things such as operating a keyboard or a holding a flashlight or eating human food or even wearing clothes like humans do that i am sure you will enjoy when the time comes for them to be posted

i implore you to direct your appreciation to the horses not i for it will go to my head and i will become a horse tyrant instead of the horseimagebarn employee you know me as