#manifesting this for all of you

[moonlight-prose]

HEART MADE OF GLASS

a/n: this is totally not to make myself feel better. totally not self indulgent cause i couldn't finish cooking my dinner last night. that gif is also self indulgent. but also hopefully a distraction from how angsty this kind of is. divider as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics.

summary: you couldn't control when they could come. the waves of nothingness - of battling with your body and mind in the hopes it would cause a shift. you wanted to control it. he simply wanted to help.

word count: 1.1k

pairing: logan howlett x reader

warnings: angst, fluff, disassociating, depression isn't outright stated but that's what it is, meat eating (sorry i'm an iron anemic bitch), logan's love language being acts of service.

The fire alarm never went off when you were in the kitchen. So he felt his heart jump at the sound of it blaring through the small apartment. Even down the hall and in the bathroom he smelled the bitter smoke as it rose from the pan you were currently staring at. A blank expression on your face and hand gripping the handle.

He meant to grab his flannel and join you for dinner. What he didn't expect was the emptiness of a silent kitchen not filled with your usual music. Your soft hums as you try to keep in tune with the song.

Logan's favorite pastime was standing in the doorway watching you cook whatever creation came to mind. Whether it tasted good or positively vile, he'd eat it one way or another. He'd swallow happily with a grin simply to see that smile bloom across your face. A look he did everything possible to keep right where it was meant to be.

"Bub?"

You startled, flinching at the sound of the alarm as you shoved the pan away from the burner. "Shit. Sorry."

A frown etched onto his face at your quick apology—your eyes never quite meeting him. "Everythin' okay?"

"Yeah," you said, lying right through your teeth. "I just got distracted."

Logan could hear the bullshit louder than the alarm. He knew something was wrong, because he'd seen it before. The silence that filled a once loud household. How you slowed down during the day, unable to finish simple tasks without pushing yourself over the edge. He watched you dwindle down to the barest bones your body had to offer and yet you never asked him for help.

You never explained why it occurred.

This wasn't in part because you didn't want to. You did. You simply held no real reason for why your body—your mind—chose to betray you at the oddest of times. At first you figured it was the lack of sleep. The restlessness that ate away at your body each night—keeping you up and active until finally you wore yourself out.

But this wasn't that.

This came from deep inside your chest, lingering beneath the surface—waiting for something good to happen before it struck with a vengeance. This protruded out of your very nightmares.

"Need some help?" He knew the answer before it came. No.

What could he possibly do that you hadn't tried a million times over? There was no easy fix for something this brutal. Silently, you begged him to leave the kitchen and find something else to occupy his time. He stubbornly stood behind you, watching over your shoulder as you dumped the now burned pan in the sink. What might have been a delicious steak now looked like a charred brick.

The sight of it still smoking only seemed to dampen your mood further.

You fought to keep yourself there, in the moment. But the dazed expression from earlier began to slowly trail its way back up your face. Until you could do nothing but stare at the mess you made, exhaustion slicing down to your bones.

His looming presence became an afterthought to all that filtered through your head. All the brittle and vile thoughts you tried to keep at bay. Some days they managed to weasel their way past your infinite walls. Some days...they found joy in tearing you up inside little by little.

Voicing it aloud though would never be an option to the havoc you tried to tame.

"C'mon," he muttered, his hands pulling at your hips to move you. "Out of the kitchen."

"I can finish–"

His glare was devastating.

Most of the time you'd ask him to tell you what he was thinking. Tonight you understood his demand. Get out of the kitchen before you hurt yourself. Let him do what you often did for everyone else.

Give him the chance to put you first.

He points to the chair originally pulled out for him. "Sit down."

But unlike other people he encountered, you were far more stubborn. "I don't–"

"Sit on the chair bub. Or I'll tie you to it." The grin he gives you is filled with sarcasm, but you can see the truth shining in his eyes. He wouldn't hesitate to follow through on a promise like that. He wouldn't even blink. "Your choice."

There was no argument left to throw at him, because his attention was elsewhere. So you sat. You allowed yourself to rest as he stumbled his way through the kitchen. Logan couldn't really cook. He picked up what he could through the life he lived, but nothing came out exactly perfect. That wasn't what warmed your heart at the sight of him standing there intent on delivering a meal worth eating.

He didn't shy away when you tried to push. When the horror that you needed someone to help was no longer a fact you could ignore. No matter how hard you shoved and bit and did what you could to scare him off. Logan pushed back. He quelled your bite with a stature of resolute stoicism.

With an exhale, he flipped the burner off and slid whatever he'd made onto a clean plate. Watching him move felt as if you were being placed in a trance. You almost told him that once in your first week of dating. Something told you he already knew by the way your eyes tracked him from the kitchen to the table.

"Steak," he said, sitting with a grunt.

A quick glance told you one thing. Logan didn't know shit about cooking steak.

You grinned nonetheless.

"There's..." Red spilled down the side, pooling on the plate as steam hit your face. "How long did you cook it?"

He shrugged, slicing it with ease and plopping a piece into his mouth. "Tastes fine to me."

"I'm sure it does."

"Watch it bub," he muttered mid chew, his lips curled into a smirk.

Making a show of zipping your lips shut, you took the piece he offered you. And as he did each time before, you ate it with a grin simply to watch his smirk turn into a smile. There may have been no salt, no extra flavor, and strangely a charred sensation with each bite. But you could taste the love spreading across your tongue with ease.

"Delicious," you garbled in the hopes he'd understand how much you loved him.

He snorted, shoving the plate to the center of the table. His thumb swiped at the juice that leaked from the corner of your mouth, causing your heart to jump erratically in your chest. Even on your bad days he managed to flip the switch in your mind with simple touches and soft looks.

"'M gonna order a pizza."

Leaning into his hand, you pressed a kiss to his wrist. "Thank you."

[practical-hearthcraft]

To anyone who sees this, I hope you have an experience of whimsy today. I hope you see something utterly joyful, silly, and ridiculous, and I hope you see it and smile. I wish that for you today.

[lotus-pear]

he's so crazy we can't take him anywhere 😭🤣

[umblrspectrum]

how do lighting and shading work

[aalyre]

saw that post saying that it was necessary that aaron killed drake with neil’s new heavy weighted racket to foreshadow what riko’s could have done to neil and i have not stopped thinking about it since

[napping-sapphic]

i’m a horrible influence btw because i would drag you into bed and do absolutely everything in my power to keep you there for as long as possible

[bluebirbbb]

✷ 𝔴𝔢 𝔪𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔩𝔶 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 ✷

bluesky | instagram

[roukabi]

it's for real this time you guys trust me it's really gonna happen

[flowersforthemachines]

one thing that's really important to me in regard to Taash is that, despite the gamer bro outrage, all the stupid YT videos, and so many people I've seen who should be denied access to internet until they get a 101 on media literacy, Taash was still the 3rd most romanced character in the game. which is huge, when you take into account the insane popularity of Lucanis and Neve.

that means that the real people, who actually played the game instead of just talking shit on the internet, *loved* Taash. and that's what actually matters the most, at least to me.

[xayspancakeee]

ଘ( ･ω･)_/ﾟ･:*:･｡☆

may this spring guide your flower babies to find their way home to you girlies °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[milandsk]

that aged

[shininas-ideals]

Immediately had to color this page, this is one of my favorite pages ever now (thanks to @nineofscans for the scan and translation!)

[thepunkmuppet]

on the subject of the new magnus protocol. RRRRARAAAHAJKAKKSUWJLWOOWHEVDNKDPFOEUEGHWPEPRIJEBWVKWLSLIDHENWLSKHEHEKWWOUEHEBDKDLEIEHWBIWOEJDBDBEKEKOELRURYEPPWKFBVEJWLPAPWIUEBRHRKLDLSPWKJENRIELLEJRBRKJWKWKWLLSOIEBRVJELSPODUEHGEJSOALWOWOUEVDCODLEPPWOWUSGUEKEBHFOOFEYWHWOCJURPEPWLDJGEJEKEAJHAJDKOEWIHWGSIEOEOUEGEVDNCKLEOQOIEIRHRHEKODKSBWJWOOPOOPOYGEHKWKSJSHHWNKWLSLJEEBRKLELPWPWHEVDBKEEIEGNSOENEHELEPRLRHHENEKEPEJRGE

[twinstxrs]

idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

[dreamlifebunny]

Manifestation is ALWAYS guaranteed once you've made your wish omg. Like, always always always. A few months ago I said, "Goddddd, I am sick of feeling lonely, I need a boy who I can talk to about video game music for hours. We should be able to chat about anything and everything so easily. And have similar formative experiences so we can just get each other. And he should look exactly like this. And he should be super well put together and someone I don't need to take care of. And maybe we aren't even together because I'm not ready for that, but we can just be absolute besties who have crushes on each other. Yeahhh. Okay, anyway."

Moved on with my life, sometimes thought about it, quite often felt lack about it or heartache over not having friends like this, but always just daydreamed about this imaginal person.

GIRLLLLL, when I tell you that a few weeks ago I met this guy who I used to have a tiny crush on years ago that I totally had forgotten about?? He had a girlfriend at the time that I met him, but now he didn't. We bonded over video game music (especially my current hyperfixation) and made plans to hang out. Last night I hung out with him, and he made me frickin' SOUP in his fancy apartment and we talked about video game music for FOUR WHOLE HOURS. And he played piano soooo fucking well, and had the same experiences as me with music and video games growing up. And he looked EXACTLY like how I imagined him in my mind. God, and he's absolutely adorable, but I'd also be happy if we were just friends, since he's fulfilling my little crush quota. Like, what the fuck? Ask and it is GIVEN.

Whenever I "doubt" the law or I'm feeling lack or anything like that, stuff like this always brings me right back to the reality that I am god and there is nothing that I cannot be, do, or have. It always makes me feel so silly for forgetting my power; I'm team-working with an amazing creator (who in reality is just me, there is no separation) who brings about everything I want, in the exact perfect way, and all I had to do was make a silly little decision filled with hope and fun and love. It's not my responsibility to figure out the how or when, and that makes it fun. It's always guaranteed. It will not be late. It will always be perfect.

Make a wish and let it unfold. You'll be so happy that you did.

[sableprince]

doodlin again i guess ??

scraps under the cut