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creatingblackcharacters · 10 days ago

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“The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth” - Violence, Violent Imagery & Black Horror

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of death, violence, blood, hate crimes, antiblackness, police violence, rape

Note! I am going to be speaking from a Black American point of view, as my identity informs my experience. That said, antiblackness itself is international. The idea of my Blackness as a threat, as a source of fear and violence to repress and to destroy, is something every Black person in the world that has ever dealt with white supremacy has experienced.

There are two things, I think, that are important to note as we start this conversation.

One: there is a long history of violence towards Black bodies that is due to our dehumanization. People do not care for the killing of a mouse in the way they care about a human. But if you think the people you are dealing with are not people, but animals- more particularly, pests, something distasteful- then you will be able to rationalize treating them as such.

Two: even though we live in a time period where that overt belief of Blackness as inhuman is less likely, we must recognize that there are centuries of belief behind this concept; centuries of arguments and actions that cement in our minds that a certain amount of violence towards Blackness is normal. That subconscious belief you may hold is steeped in centuries of effort to convince you of it without even questioning it. And because of this very real re-enforcement of desensitization, naturally another place this will manifest itself is in how we tell and comprehend stories.

There are also three points I'm about to make first- not the only three that can ever be made, but the ones that stand out the most to me when we talk about violence with Black characters:

One: Your Black readers may experience that scene you wrote differently than you meant anyone to, just because our history may change our perspective on what’s happening.

Two: The idea that Black characters and people deserve the pain they are experiencing.

Three: The disbelief or dismissal of the pain of Black characters and people.

You Better Start Believing In Ghost Stories- You’re In One

I don’t need to tell Black viewers scary fairytales of sadists, body snatchers and noncoincidental disappearances, cannibals, monsters appearing in the night, and dystopian, unjust systems that bury people alive- real life suffices! We recognize the symbolism because we’ve seen real demons.

Some real examples of familiar, terrifying stories that feel like drama, but are real experiences:

12 Years a Slave: “This is no fiction, no exaggeration. If I have failed in anything, it has been in presenting to the reader too prominently the bright side of the picture. I doubt not hundreds have been as unfortunate as myself; that hundreds of free citizens have been kidnapped and sold into slavery, and are at this moment wearing out their lives on plantations in Texas and Louisiana.” – Solomon Northup

When They See Us: I can’t get myself to watch When They See Us, because I learned about the actual trial of the Central Park Five- now the Exonerated Five- in my undergrad program. Five teen Black and brown boys, subjected to racist and cruel policing and vilification in the media- from Donald Trump calling for their deaths in the newspaper, to being imprisoned under what the Clintons deemed a generation of “superpredators” during a “tough on crime” administration. And as audacious as it is to say, as Solomon Northup explained, they were fortunate. The average Black person funneled into the prison system doesn’t get the opportunity to make it back out redeemed or exonerated, because the system is designed to capture and keep them there regardless of their innocence or guilt. Their lives are irreparably changed; they are forever trapped.

Jasper, Texas: Learning about the vicious, gruesome murder of James Byrd Jr, was horrific- and that was just the movie. No matter how “community comes together” everyone tells that story, the reality is that there are people who will beat you, drag you chained down a gravel road for three miles as your body shreds away until you are decapitated, and leave your mangled body in front of a Black church to send a message… Because you’re Black and they hate you. To date I am scared when I’m walking and I see trucks passing me, and don’t let them have the American or the Confederate flag on them. Even Ahmaud Arbery, all he was doing was jogging in his hometown, and white men from out of town decided he should be murdered for that.

Do you want to know what all of these men and boys, from 1841 to 2020, had in common? What they did to warrant what happened to them? Being outside while Black. Some might call it “wrong place wrong time”, but the reality is that there is no “right place”. Sonya Massey, Breonna Taylor- murdered inside their home. Where else can you be, if the danger has every right to barge inside? There is no “safe”.

It is already Frightening to live while Black- not because being Black is inherently frightening, but because our society has made it horrific to do so. But that leads into my next point:

“They Shouldn’t Have Resisted”

Think of all the videos of assaulted and murdered Black people from police violence. If you can stomach going into the comments- which I don’t, anymore- you’ll see this classic comment of hate in the thousands, twisting your stomach into knots:

“if they obeyed the officer, if they didn’t resist, this wouldn’t have happened”

Another way our punitive society normalizes itself is via the idea of respectability politics; the idea that “if you are Good, if you do what you are Supposed to do, you will not be hurt- I will not have to hurt you”. Therefore, if my people are always suffering violence, it must be because we are Bad. And in a society that is already less gracious to Black people, that is more likely to think we are less human, that we are innately bad and must earn the right to be exceptional… the use of excessive violence towards me must be the natural outcome. “If your people weren’t more likely to be criminals, there wouldn’t be the need to be suspicious of you”- that is the way our society has taught us to frame these interactions, placing the blame for our own victimization on us.

Sidebar: I would highly suggest reading The New Jim Crow, written in 2010 by Michelle Alexander, to see how this mentality helps tie into large scale criminalization and mass incarceration, and how the cycle is purposely perpetuated.

You have to constantly be aware of how you look, walk and talk- and even then, that won’t be enough to save you if the time comes. The turning point for me, personally, was the murder of Sandra Bland. If she could be educated, beautiful, a beacon of her community, be everything a “Good” Black person is supposed to be… and still be murdered via police violence, they can kill any of us. And that’s a very terrifying thought- that anything at any point can be the reason for your death, and it will be validated because someone thinks you shouldn’t have “been that way”. And that way has far less to do with what you did, than it does who you are. Being “that way” is Black.

My point is, if this belief is so normalized in real life about violence on Black bodies- that somehow, we must have done something to deserve this- what makes you think that this belief does not affect how you comprehend Black people suffering in stories?

Hippocratic Oath

Human experimentation? Vivisection? Organ stealing? Begging for medicine? Dramatically bleeding out? Not trusting just anyone to see that you are hurt, because they might take advantage? All very real fears. The idea that pain is normal for Black people is especially rampant in the healthcare field, where ideas like our melanin making our skin thick enough to feel less pain (no), an overblown fear of ‘drug misuse’, and believing we are overexaggerating our pain makes many Black people being unwilling to trust the healthcare system. And it comes down to this thought:

If you think that I feel less pain, you will allow me to suffer long before you believe that I am in pain.

I was psychologically spiraling I was in so much pain after my wisdom teeth removal, and my surgeon was more concerned about “addiction to the medication”. Only because Hot Chocolate’s mom is a nurse, did I get an effective medicine schedule. My mother ended up with jaw rot because her surgeon outright claimed that she didn’t believe that she was in more than the ‘healing’ pain after her wisdom teeth were removed. She also has a gigantic, macabre (and awesome fr) scar on her stomach from a c-section she received after four days of labor attempting to have me… all because she was too poor and too Black to afford better doctors who wouldn’t have dismissed her struggles to push.

As a major example of dismissed Black pain: let’s discuss the mortality rate of Black women during childbirth, as well as the likelihood of our children to die. When we say “they will let you bleed to death”, we mean it.

“Black women have the highest maternal mortality rate in the United States — 69.9 per 100,000 live births for 2021, almost three times the rate for white women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Black babies are more likely to die, and also far more likely to be born prematurely, setting the stage for health issues that could follow them through their lives.”

Even gynecology roots in dismissal (and taking brutal advantage of) Black women's pain:

“The history of this particular medical branch … it begins on a slave farm in Alabama,” Owens said. “The advancement of obstetrics and gynecology had such an intimate relationship with slavery, and was literally built on the wounds of Black women.” Reproductive surgeries that were experimental at the time, like cesarean sections, were commonly performed on enslaved Black women. Physicians like the once-heralded J. Marion Sims, an Alabama doctor many call the “father of gynecology,” performed torturous surgical experiments on enslaved Black women in the 1840s without anesthesia. And well after the abolition of slavery, hospitals performed unnecessary hysterectomies on Black women, and eugenics programs sterilized them.”

If you think Black characters are not in pain, or that they’re overexaggerating, you’re more likely to be okay with them suffering more in comparison to those whose pain you take more seriously- to those you believe.

What’s My Point?

My point is that whatever terrifying scene you think you’re writing, whatever violent whump scenario you think you’re about to put your Black characters through, there’s a chance it has probably happened and was treated as nonimportant (damn shame, right?) And when those terrifying scenes are both written and read, the way their suffering will be felt depends on how much you as a reader care, how much you believe they are suffering.

There’s a joke amongst readers of color that many dystopian tales are tales of “what happened if white people experienced things that the rest of us have already been put through?” Think concepts like alien invasion and mass eradication of the existing population- you may think of that as an action flick, meanwhile peoples globally have suffered colonization for centuries. The Handmaid’s Tale- forced birthing and raising of “someone else’s” children, always subject to sexual harassment by the Master while subject to hate from the Mistress- that’s just being a Mammy.

There’s nothing wrong with having Black characters be violent or deal with violence, especially in a story where every character is going through shit. That is not the problem! What I am trying to tell you, though, is to be aware that certain violent imagery is going to evoke familiarity in Black viewers. And if I as a Black viewer see my very real traumas treated as entertainment fodder- or worse, dismissed- by the narrative and other viewers, I will probably not want to consume that piece of media anymore. I will also question the intentions and the beliefs of the people who treat said traumas so callously. Now, if that’s not something you care about, that’s on you! But for people who do care, it is something we need to make sure we are catching before we do it.

“So I just can’t write anything?!”

Stop that. There are plenty of examples of stories containing horror and violence with Black characters. There’s an entire genre of us telling our own stories, using the same violence as symbolism. I’m not telling you “no” (least not always). I’m telling you to take some consideration when you write the things that you do. There’s nothing wrong about writing your Black characters being violent or experiencing violence. But there is a difference between making it narratively relevant, and thoughtlessly using them as a “spook”, a stereotypical scary Black person, or a punching bag, especially in a way that may invoke certain trauma.

The Black Guy Dies First

The joke is that we never survive these horror movies because we either wouldn’t be there to begin with, or because we would make better decisions and the narrative can’t have that. But the reality is just that a lot of writers find Black characters- Black people- expendable in comparison to their white counterparts, and it shows. More of a “here, damn” sort of character, not worth investment and easy to shrug off. The book itself I haven’t read, just because it’s pretty new, but I’m looking forward to doing so. But from the summaries, it goes into horror media history and how Black characters have fared in these stories, as well as how that connects to the society those characters were written in. I.e., a thorough version of this lesson.

Instead, I wrote an entire list of questions you could possibly ask yourself involving violence or villainy involving a Black character. Feel free to print it and put it on your wall where you write if you have to! I cannot stress enough that asking yourself questions like these are good both for your creation and just… being less antiblack in general when you consume media.

Black Horror/Black Thriller

We, too, have turned our violent experiences into stories. I continue to highly suggest watching our films and reading our stories to see how we convey our fear, our terror, our violence and our pain. There are plenty of stories that work- Get Out, The Angry Black Girl and her Monster, Candyman, Lovecraft Country (the show) and Nanny are some examples. There’s even a blog by the co-writer of The Black Guy Dies First who runs BlackHorrorMovies where he reviews horror movies from throughout the decades.

Desiree Evans has a great essay, We Need Black Horror More Than Ever, that gets into why this genre is so creative and effective, that I think says what I have to say better than I could.

“Even before Peele, Black horror had a rich literary lineage going back to the folklore of Africa and its Diaspora. Stories of haints, witches, curses, and magic of all kinds can be found in the folktales collected by author and anthropologist Zora Neale Hurston and in the folktales retold by acclaimed children’s book author Virginia Hamilton. One of my earliest childhood literary memories is being entranced by Hamilton’s The House of Dies Drear and Patricia McKissack’s children’s book classic The Dark-Thirty: Southern Tales of the Supernatural, both examples of the ways Black authors have tapped into Black history along with our rich ghostlore.” “Black horror can be clever and subversive, allowing Black writers to move against racist tropes, to reconfigure who stands at the center of a story, and to shift the focus from the dominant narrative to that which is hidden, submerged. To ask: what happens when the group that was Othered, gets to tell their side of the story?”

For on the nose simplicity, I’m going to use hood classic Tales From The Hood (1994) as an example of how violence can be integrated into Black horror tales. Tales From The Hood is like… The Twilight Zone by Black people. Messages discussing issues in our community, done through a mystical twist. Free on Tubi! If you want to stop here before some spoilers, it’s an hour and a half. A great time!

In the first story, a Black political activist is murdered by the cops. The scene is reflective of the real-world efforts to discredit and even murder activists speaking out against police violence, as well as the types of things done to criminalize Black citizens for capture. The song Strange Fruit plays in the background, to drive the point home that this is a lynching.

The second story deals with a Black little boy experiencing abuse in the home, drawing a green monster to show his teacher why he’s covered in wounds and is lashing out at school.

The fourth story is about a gangbanger who undergoes “behavioral modification” to be released from prison early. Think of the classic scene from A Clockwork Orange. He must watch as imagery of the Klan and of happy whites lynching Black bodies (real-life pictures and video, mind you!) play into his mind alongside gang violence.

Isn’t Violence Stereotypical or antiblack?

That last story from Tales From The Hood leads into a good point. It can be! But it does not have to be! Violence is a human experience. By suggesting we don’t experience it or commit it, you would be denying everything I’ve just spoken about. We don’t have to be racist to write our Black characters in violent situations. We also don’t have to comprehend those situations through a racist lens.

Even experiences that seem “stereotypical” do not have to be comprehended that way. I get a LOT of questions about if something is stereotypical, and my response is always that it depends on the writing!!! You could give me a harmless prompt and it becomes the most racist story ever once you leave my inbox. But you could give me a “stereotypical” prompt and it be genuine writing.

Let’s take the movie Juice for example. Juice in my honest to God opinion becomes a thriller about halfway in. On its surface, Juice looks like bad Black boys shooting and cursing and doing things they aren’t supposed to be doing! Incredibly stereotypical- violent young thugs. You might think, “you shouldn’t write something like this- you’re telling everyone this is what your community is like”. First- there’s that respectability politics again! Just because something is not a “respectable” story does not mean it doesn’t need to be told!

But if we’re actually paying attention, what we’re looking at is four young boys dealing with their environment in different ways. All four of them originally stick together to feel power amongst their brotherhood as they all act tough and discover their own identities. They are not perfect, but they are still kids. In this environment, to be tough, to be strong, you do the things that they are doing. You run from cops, you steal from stores, you mess with all the girls and talk shit and wave weapons. That’s what makes you “big”. That’s what gives you the “juice”- and the “juice” can make you untouchable.

I want to focus particularly on Bishop, yes, played by Tupac. Bishop, the antagonist of Juice, is particularly powerless, angry, and scared of the world around him. He puts on a big front of bravado, yelling, cursing, and talking big because he’s tired of being afraid, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it otherwise. So when he gets access to a gun- to power- he quickly spirals out of control. His response to his fear is to wave around a tool that makes him feel stronger, that stops the things that scare him from scaring him.

Now, that is not a unique tale! That is a tale that any race could write about, particularly young white men with gun violence! If you ever cared for Fairuza Balk’s character in The Craft, it is a similar fall from grace. But because it is on a young, Black man in the hood, audiences are less likely to empathize with Bishop. And granted, Bishop is unhinged! But many a white character has been, and is not shoved into a stereotype that white people cannot escape from!

Now would I be comfortable if a nonblack person attempted to write a narrative like Juice? Yes, because I’d worry about the tendency to lose the messaging and just fall into stereotype outright. But it can be done! The story can be told!

“But if Black violence bad, why rap?”

The short answer:

“In order for me to write poetry that isn’t political, I must listen to the birds, and in order to hear the birds, the warplanes must be silent.”

Marwhan Makhoul, Palestinian Poet

First, rap is not “only violence and misogyny”. Step your understanding of the genre up; there are plenty of options outside of the mainstream that don’t discuss those things. Second, every genre of music has mainstream popular songs about vice and sin. The idea that Black rappers have to be held to a higher standard is yet another example of how we are seen as inherently bad and must prove ourselves good. We could speak about nothing but drugs and alcohol and 1) there would still be white artists who do the very same and 2) we would still deserve to be treated like humans.

That said, many- not all- rappers rap about violence for the same reason Billy Joel wrote We Didn’t Start the Fire, the same reason Homer first spoke The Iliad- because they have something to say about it! They stand in a long tradition of people using poetry and rhythm to tell stories. Rap is an art of storytelling!

Rap is often used as an expression of frustration and righteous anger against a system built to keep us trapped within it. I’m not allowed to be angry? Why wouldn’t I be angry? Anger is a protective emotion, often when one feels helpless. Young Black people also began to reclaim and glorify the violence they lived in within their music, to take pride in their survival and in their success in a world that otherwise wanted them to fail. If I think the world fights against me no matter what I do, I’d rather live in pride than in shame with a bent head. Is it right? Maybe, maybe not. But if you don’t want them to rap about violence, why not alleviate the things leading to the violence in their environment?

Whether you choose to listen to their words, because the delivery scares you- and trust, angry Black men scared the music industry and society- doesn’t make the story any less valid!

Conclusion

I am going to drop a classic by Slick Rick called Children’s Story. I think listening to it- and I mean genuinely listening- summarizes what I’ve said here about how Black creators can tell stories, even violent ones, and how even the delivery through Blackness can change how you perceive them. Please take the time to listen before continuing.

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I’ve been alive for 28 years and have known this song my whole life, and it just hit me tonight: not once is the kid in this story identified as Black! My perception of this story was completely altered by my own experiences, who told the story, and how it was told.

That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You can tell stories of violence that involve Black characters. I love and adore a good hurt/comfort myself! But you need to be cognizant of your audience and how they’ll perceive the story you’re telling, and that includes the types of imagery you include. It’s not effective catharsis via hurt/comfort for the audience if your Black readers are being completely left out of the comfort. “I wrote this for myself” that’s cool, but… if you wrote racism for yourself, and you’re willing to admit that to yourself, that’s on you. I’d like to think that’s not your intention! You can write these stories of woe and pain without mistreating your Black characters- but that requires knowing and acknowledging when and how you’re doing that!

@afropiscesism makes a solid point in this post: our horror stories are not just fairytales full of amorphous boogiemen meant to teach lessons. Racial violence is very real, very alive, and we cannot act like the things we write can be dismissed outright as “oh well it’s not real”. Sure, those characters aren’t real. But the way you feel about Black bodies and violence is, and often it can slip into your writing as a pattern without you even realizing it. Be willing to get uncomfortable and check yourself on this as you write, as well as noticing it in other works!

If you’re constantly thinking “I would never do this”, you’ll never stop yourself when you inevitably do! If you know what violent imagery can be evoked, you can utilize it or avoid it altogether- but only if you’re willing to get honest about it. You might not intend to do any of this, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t change the pattern, because as always, it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

#creatingblackcharacters #long post #writing #writing black characters #black character design #black history #media history

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metalotaku-da · 2 months ago

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danny phantom x dc prompt ideas: weather wizard addition.

this comes to you thanks to my big story pieces comment section. i think if the phandom knew more of this characters background and i thought it was more commonly known. it would have more of a field day. same with gotham academy >.> but that is for another post.

alright weather wizard, is a flash villain and a member of the rogues.

mark mardon. is a thief and criminal who escapes from prison and fleas to his brothers house. where he believes he found his brother dead and his weather experiments. including the weather wand which he takes and starts his alias crime as weather wizard. it is hinted at in the comics he actually killed his brother and stole his work. it is believed he had a confrontation with his brother over his prison break, the argument and heightened emotions triggered mark's meta gene and he accidently killed his brother when his powers manifested. and he blocked out that memory. and it is also why he can't use his weather powers without the wand. as a mental block. because he does have powers without the wand.

later on he finds out he has a son with a cop he had relations with. it is known josh is his son because he has weather powers. mark in a fit of rage and jealousy over the his son's powers kidnaps him, with plans to DISSECT AND EXPERIMENT ON HIM TO FIND OUT HOW HIS POWERS WORK SO HE CAN GET THEM. he has a break down though over it before he can go through with it. and wishes his son had someone besides him as a father, because he deserves someone better.

other facts of note: josh was thought to be wally's kid till he got his powers. lady cop has batman's taste. her name is julie.

the rogues have strict rules against hurting kids.

weather wizard killed impulse breaking this rule. though he was tricked.

so yes phandom. here are some options i've brain stormed. please add more ideas for others to knaw on.

1: danny has escaped the fentons/and or giw. flees to central city and weather wizard finds this vivisected terrified kid. and man does it hit his guilt and crazy. this could have been his son. he was going to do this to his child. and it's his redemption/penance to protect this child to make up for his sins. could have a mental break and think he actually did this danny and danny is his son josh too. so many ways to go.

2: other rogues find him, after hearing about ww kidnapping his son and think danny is his son who escaped from his injuries and go on revenge spree for this kid in mistaken idenity. which has funny and dark ways it can go.

3: danny meets ww or his son. and hears how ww couldn't go through with it. maybe from young justice. impulse or members of the league, other rogues dealers choice. danny just dieing a little on the inside like, how come your parent could stop himself with love when he never met you, but my parents raised me and still didn't love me enough not to. the angst protentional here is so high.

4: jazz could work at the facility treating mark. her point of view from treating a person who is so much like her parents but who showed their love for their child in the end. when hers couldn't move past their goals and see their child they claimed to love. could add in she's got a de-aged danny/dannies because of it. to see what it could have been if her parents had been better. stronger. she could get feelings. (totally thinking on par with harley/joker kind of but not that dark.) where mark actually like her and cares for her. could be one-sided. and the giw find them mark breaks out cause she and or kids are in danger and saves them.

5:mix and match the above.

please add more

#dcxdp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #fanfic #dpxdc #the rogues #flash rogues #weather wizard #jazz fenton x mark mardon #danny phantom #writing prompt #dc comics

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 4 months ago

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what do you think of the rumors about Aemond's possible betrayal of Aegon in Ep4?

Oh do I have a lot to say about this one! So here's the thing. A possible Rook's Rest betrayal situation has been a long running theory among F&B readers even before the show. In the book, Vhagar slams into Sunfyre and Meleys from above while the two are locked together fighting, and they all crash to the ground. It's unclear whether Aemond slammed them both because Vhagar was too big to maneuver in a precise way, or if he was intentionally trying to harm his brother. It's ambiguous, but when Aegon is badly injured, Aemond becomes prince regent and declares the crown looks better on him than it ever did on his brother. In Aemond's favor, he did not declare himself king, but it's also the case that in the book, Aegon had a second son, so Aemond wasn't his heir either. Declaring himself king would have been a direct usurpation of Maelor even if Aegon himself died. We also know that at the end of the Dance Aegon wanted statues made of both his brothers, Aemond and Daeron, so Aegon himself likely did not believe Aemond was responsible for his injuries. But it is ambiguous, and book!Aemond does turn out to be not very smart and not much of a team player, so in and of itself, I don't actually mind the betrayal theory so much. But I would prefer it remain a theory, that is, keep it ambiguous, but even if it is an outright betrayal, it's the execution and motivation which concern me.

In the show, Aemond has a very clear second son syndrome. Whether it's true or not, he certainly thinks he's smarter, better, more dutiful, and of course on top of all that, he has the largest dragon. Show!Aegon, on the other hand, is insecure and struggling with depression, alcoholism, and a big case of imposter syndrome. He's impulsive and reactive, wasn't properly prepared to be king, didn't particularly want to be king, but now that he is king, he's desperate not to fail. In the events leading up to the war, Aemond kills Luke in a moment that seems more rash than calculated, and this ultimately leads to Aegon's small son being decapitated by Blood and Cheese in revenge, throwing him deep into grief and rage. On top of that, Aegon is feeling undermined by his council, including Aemond, and Larys is planting the seeds of mistrust between Aegon and his brother. It's absolutely reasonable for there to be some resentment between the two and some unresolved issues that might manifest on the battlefield. Would these issues lead to an actual attempted murder? Eh, I tend to think that, in the spirit of leaving it ambiguous, Aemond might have the passing thought that he could totally "accidentally" allow Aegon to come to harm. He might even hesitate just long enough that Meleys is able to seriously wound Aegon or Sunfyre before he joins in, causing him to feel a great deal of guilt. This is my preferred scenario.

The problem I have is with how the show is framing it so far. I've never been a fan of the way the bullying storyline seemed to humanize Aemond at Aegon's expense, but it now appears as if it's being used as a motivation or justification for Aemond betraying Aegon at Rook's Rest, as well as his general shift to a darker character, which I find cliched and disappointing. At this point Aemond is a grown man by all Westerosi standards, and despite their issues, we've seem Aegon display loyalty towards Aemond more than we've seen him "bully" him. They're siblings, they're going to fight and bicker and tease, but we've seen nothing from Aegon so far that would justify murder. Maybe if your brother is going through the worst thing a person can possibly experience, losing his son in a murder that, while not your fault, happened as a retribution for your actions, perhaps you could grant him some grace, even if he makes some obnoxious comments in a brothel. I've seen so many takes which basically amount to "Aegon had it coming" as if we haven't seen Aegon absolutely distraught over the death of his child, receiving no emotional support from his family, least of all Aemond himself, and spiraling back into alcoholism and reckless behavior. Now is really not the time to get pissy about teasing. It's not about you, Aemond. A child is dead.

And in fact, we've seen Aegon be supportive of Aemond on screen in ways that we generally haven't seen Aemond support Aegon. Aegon speaks up on Aemond's behalf, inviting him into the council when Alicent wants to shut him out, and we've seen him support Aemond's battle plans, even though we know Cole and Aemond have been planning behind Aegon's back. In S1 we've seen Aegon have Aemond's back at dinner with Rhaenyra's family, and going even further back, we've seen Aegon allow Aemond to throw him under the bus about the bastard comments, taking the fall even though he was not the culprit. There is certainly jealousy and rivalry there from both sides, but as much as Aegon is an ass, it is clear he loves his brother.

Also, I think some fans, perhaps because the well was poisoned against Aegon in S1 in ways that his character has struggled to recover from, tend to read everything Aegon does uncharitably and ignore some of Aemond's more questionable behavior, granting him grace that they do not grant others. I rarely see critical analysis about Aemond the way I do about Aegon, so I'm going to be frank here for a moment. Aemond is only the "good" brother to Aegon's "bad" brother because we haven't seen him at his worst yet, but the potential is there for him to be so much worse than Aegon could ever be. Show!Aemond is thin skinned, self-centered, and a bit of a "can dish it out but can't take it" type. Aemond's assholery is more subtle (for example, Aemond's patronizing little "that's a brave thought" to Aegon in council), whereas Aegon's is loud and obnoxious, but Aemond knows how to make his insults pointed and hurtful ("Strong boys" toast, you will die screaming in flames like your father). And look no further than his reaction to Blood and Cheese to see his egotism in action. In this moment when he's supposed to be showing some level of vulnerability with the madame, he's talking about how honored he is that sempai Daemon noticed him. Mind you, this notice is what resulted in the death of his four year old nephew. His "remorse" over killing Lucerys amounts to "I do regret that business with Luke," while immediately following up with his justification, citing how they used to tease him for not having a dragon. Sincere remorse involves examining your own actions without immediately justifying them or centering yourself, and in that moment I felt no remorse from Aemond, or even sympathy for what his killing of Luke might have unleashed upon the family. Aemond hasn't even mentioned Helaena once post-B&C, and you'd think that even if he doesn't feel sorry for Aegon, surely he'd show some sympathy for his innocent sister? And yet, nothing.

So while I can't say it would be necessarily out of character for the Aemond they've been giving us in S2, I don't really like this take on Aemond at all, and I just don't find this supposed grudge against Aegon a particularly compelling justification for attempted murder. While the bullying storyline humanized Aemond in S1 as a child, keeping it going now, as a motive for harming his brother and his brother's dragon, which, lets be clear, would absolutely fuck over his entire faction, is ridiculous and unnecessary, and really kind of saps any goodwill I might have had for Aemond. I don't have any sympathy for someone who was rather mildly teased and decides his brother deserves to die for it, and it makes me feel incredibly sad for Aegon who is just getting dumped on by his entire family to the point where it's honestly kind of hard to watch. There is plenty of drama inherent in the situation already as-is. If this happened because of tensions over Storm's End and Blood and Cheese, it would still be stupid for Aemond to do, but Aemond has never been as smart as he thinks, and it would frame the betrayal in the context of the ways Aegon and Aemond have hurt each other. However, if it is framed as Aegon's comeuppance for being an asshole, Aemond's Joker moment where he goes fully dark in some sort of bullying revenge plot that he decides to enact in the middle of a war? Honestly, forget building gigantic gold covered statues, I'd be burning effigies.

#if you're senstitive about aemond maybe skip this one because i was not kind #aegon ii targaryen #rook's rest #hotd season 2 leaks #hotd critical #team green

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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 months ago

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saw your post about something new chara and killer, and all i can think is "oh gods killer would hate cross". the locket, the liking chocolate - cross is similar to a swap chara more than a regular chara, but still i wonder if killer would subconsciously try to ignore him.

as for killer and chara, i think having chara in his mind kinda makes him question his reality a bit. iirc, killer thinks of chara as a hallucination? if that's the case, would killer think of chara as a manifestation of his intrusive thoughts? also, having your former abuser in your mind can't be a good thing if you want to recover from certain consequences.

~ crowshipping anon

Crow!!!!!

This is me anytime you send me an ask.

But oh that’s a really good point! I never considered how Cross could remind him of a Chara and start causing bro to tweak and crash out! I would actually love to hear more about that.

And as for the Chara inside, I’ve always considered. What if Chara exists the way they do in the present, inside killers head, because that’s what’s they convinced killer they could do. That their soul made them intrinsically connected, he’s just like them, he can’t escape, they’re always watching so they’ll know if he does or says something they don’t like.

If the Chara is a hallucination, I always viewed it as something more akin to an overlap with a sorta delusional belief; one that Killer was lead and coerced into believing to make him more compliant and hesitant to leave or step up against Chara. They feel like him, who would he be without them.

Perhaps they are so tied together, both due to actual trauma bonding and encouragement from chara when killer is so out of his mind and can’t tell what’s real or not, having to rely on chara to dictate his reality—that even when they’re gone, they’re not really. Because killer never really left their side.

Perhaps it’s a way to protect himself from stepping out of line, ensure he maintains the behaviors expected of him. The inside chara did say things like “you don’t want another bad ending, do you?” as if this chara is a part of killer that’s too afraid to take a chance and step out of the cage again. especially if we take into mind how killer stepped up against chara, only to find himself trapped under nightmare—and color on one side, offering that hope.

perhaps chara is a part of him, a part of him that’s keeping him “safe” by killing any false hope and ensuring he remains obedient.

Similar to the way Dust’s Papyrus hallucination is a manifestation of his guilt and a way to keep encouraging his self imposed mission of defeating the human, Killer’s Chara works to squash any semblance of hope or having a normal safe life. Squashes any hope of change by bringing up what’s happened every time before, at least for Stage 1.

And it does by fear, because there’s still no one killer is more afraid of than Chara. perhaps there’s even that lingering desire for their approval, and maybe stage 1 feels guilty for killing them, even.

I think it’d be interesting if Killer never knows what exactly this chara is, but either way he is still so afraid of them in stages 1 & 3-4. and is a major sign of his stages seem to be stuck in the past (such as stage 3-4, unable to recognize current situations much.)

no matter if they’re real or not, killer always feels this overwhelming feeling of being watched. like they’re watching him, making sure he’s doing what he’s supposed to. (which makes me think of that one headcanon I had that stage 4 holds a lot of beliefs about chara that appear delusional, such as them being omnipresent and omnipotent, and fear keeps it killing and killing and killing. perhaps an intentional thing.)

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deadthemind · 18 days ago

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A Personal Reflection on Guilt and Repression

James Sunderland’s story in Silent Hill 2… I can’t help but see a bit of myself in that. The way he’s drowning in his own guilt, unable to face the truth—it feels familiar. I haven’t gone through anything as extreme as he has, but that feeling of burying pain, of repressing emotions because they’re just too hard to deal with… I’ve been there. It’s like, sometimes it’s easier to pretend things didn’t happen, to numb yourself, because facing it head-on feels like it would destroy you.

James killed Mary in this moment of desperation, but it wasn’t out of pure malice—it was exhaustion, grief, maybe even love twisted by too much pain. I can understand that—how, when you’re worn down to your core, you do things you regret, things that stay with you. And just like him, I’ve had moments where I didn’t want to face what I’d done, or how I felt, so I pushed it away, hoping it would stay buried. But it doesn’t. Just like James, the more you try to ignore it, the more it festers. That guilt, that pain, it finds a way to surface, sometimes in ways you don’t expect. The way he was haunted by monsters—my version of that might not be so literal, but it’s the same idea. The longer I run from my own feelings, the more they twist and distort until I can’t escape them.

James’s mental state in Silent Hill 2 is a mirror of how unresolved trauma and guilt can take control. His dissociative amnesia is his mind’s way of protecting itself—he can’t face what he’s done, so he convinces himself that Mary died of her illness. It’s like his brain has this wall, trying to keep the truth from breaking him. But his repression doesn’t make the pain go away; instead, it shows up in other ways. The whole town of Silent Hill becomes this reflection of his inner world, full of distorted, terrifying versions of the things he’s trying to bury.

And then there’s Pyramid Head—this manifestation of his desire to punish himself. It’s not just a random monster; it’s the part of James that knows he’s guilty, the part that believes he deserves to suffer for what he did. It’s like every time he tries to move forward, his mind forces him to confront that guilt. The same way I can’t shake the feelings I try to suppress, James is haunted by his own mind, constantly dragged back to the truth he doesn’t want to face.

His emotional numbness and depression feel familiar, too. He’s going through the motions, almost like he’s disconnected from the world, unable to really feel anything because he’s so overwhelmed. I’ve had those moments, too, where you’re so buried in your own head that you can’t feel anything but this dull, empty ache.

And it’s not just James—it’s me, too. I guess, like him, I’ve got this internal struggle going on—denial versus acceptance. I can keep running, keep numbing myself, but deep down, I know I’ll have to confront it eventually. It’s just… how do you face something so painful without it breaking you? And when you finally do face it, will it destroy you, or will it set you free? That’s the real question, isn’t it?

#silent hill #gaming #thoughts #silent hill 2 #james sunderland #review #SoundCloud

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neonscandal · 10 months ago

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explain to me how bakugo is traumatized. the kid he grew up with was nice to him once and he immediately came to the conclusion that he should die. that's not trauma, that's being insane.

I'm going to start with the fact that, justifiably, there's never a reason to tell someone to kill themselves. Additionally, note that me saying Bakugo is traumatized does not mean that Midoriya is also not traumatized.

Regarding your question, the trauma that I mentioned on a recent ask, (I assume this one prompted your question) referenced the following:

Captured by the Slime Villain, effectively bound and suffocated in front of an audience (doesn't include the fall out after being someone who is publicly assaulted)

Muzzled, bound and robbed of autonomy in front of a national audience at the Sports Festival

Kidnapped and bound by the LOV (the forcible binding is recurrent through all the above)

Don't really have to go into the swath of issues he and Class 1A likely can and do develop from being child pawns in a war of adults but that can be applied as well re: survivor's guilt, PTSD, paranoia from the mole, etc. from the PLF arc and up until current manga events (I didn't feel like a spoiler warning).

Things that people don't tend to capture in the box of Bakugo's characterization:

He comes from a verbally and physically abusive household, demonstrably (you can jump down to the second paragraph of Bakugo's Strengths listed here for my thoughts on that impact)

Forced to defend himself against older kids from a young age and possibly on a recurring basis, as referenced in the above image. We could probably chalk the confrontation up to a consequence of his false overconfidence, sure. But does that justify 4th graders ganging up on what looks like a kindergartener/first grader?

As for Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship, we don't have much to go on. We know they were close and amicable as kids, things likely went to shit when Midoriya didn't develop a quirk, there's some beetle excursion in the woods that Bakugo refers back to a lot which is pending further context for readers/viewers, and then there's a fall in the river which really soured relations as Bakugo misinterpreted genuine kindness for condescension (see home life and such above). Again, none of this justifies the bullying we see at the start of the series or the way their interactions have shocking physical components. But what I do find interesting is that I've previously likened Bakugo's disposition to Endeavors but, in retrospect, I think he's a strong parallel for Dabi too.

Dabi's rage stems from being robbed of what he thinks is his inalienable birthright as the oldest son and heir to Endeavor's legacy. He disproportionately targets Shouto as the usurper of what is rightfully his. Dabi's claim, of course, makes more sense from a traditional and, probably, cultural standpoint. But the reason I mention it is that I don't think Bakugo was constantly telling Midoriya to take a swan dive off a roof. It doesn't forgive the bullying but it contextualizes why, that day, the bullying reached a new height when Midoriya was outed for still trying to get into UA. Bakugo saw this as an immediate threat to his position because, even though he didn't admit it at the time, if anyone could get into UA, quirkless or not, Bakugo knew Midoriya could.

Just as Midoriya has always seen Bakugo as being heroic and capable of being number 1, Midoriya proves time and time again that, even without a quirk, he's got the spirit of a hero and is successful in spaces where Bakugo is not. As the story progresses, we see evidence and the ultimate manifestation of Bakugo's remorse through his apology and other ways he's softened up. I'm not saying he wasn't a little shit but that's also not all he was (IDK if you've met kids but... without healthy socialization they can be little emotional terrorists). As things have unfolded, we see that, internally, Bakugo uses thoughts of Midoriya to galvanize his path forward and we've recently confirmed that when Bakugo spoke to Kirishima about strength... he was referring to Midoriya, you can scroll down to paragraphs around the last picture. I'm just gleeful about calling it. But, suffice it to say they've both been looking to one another this whole time.

There are still periphery pieces of their background missing because the story is largely from Midoriya's perspective. I don't think we'll get a comprehensive backstory but I think there will be some sort of meaningful explanation behind the beetle trip that may inform why Bakugo ultimately misinterpreted things so poorly at the river. I mean, maybe it's as simple as the fact that he couldn't fathom kindness because it's something not typically afforded to those who are perceived as strong. I don't know but I look forward to finding out.

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shydroid3000 · 2 days ago

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OOO for the death note ask game, turning this back on you. 4, 7, and 23, again though you can pick a current favorite moment (lolol. indecision makers 😔😔) or just gimme some general misa thoughts if you’ve got em 👀

4. who’s your favorite underrated or obscure character? Okay, I'm gonna do my best to pick one that isn't too obvious, so: Sidoh! Haha. He's a weird little loser guy of a Shinigami and I love that. When he takes the notebook and touches it to the head of the one mafia guy while saying, "tag, you're it!"... or when he gets freaked out by Mello even though he himself is a literal god of death... I just find it very delightful. He's silly and pathetic in a way that really tickles my fancy lol. (The anime is much fresher in my mind so most of what I refer to will be anime-focussed; can't remember how manga version compares to anime with him). 7. was misa just as guilty as light? Ooh, guilt in relation to Misa and Light is interesting to think about. On the one hand, I do think that they're both culpable for their actions at the end of the day. I have maybe some more grace to extend Misa in terms of her having an understandable reason to go down that path, what with her parents being murdered (and almost being murdered herself). Like, that's a level of trauma that makes you go, 'yeah, I can understand why she was all-in on killing criminals with the death note, even if I don't agree.' Light, on the other hand, had this good, stable, pretty privileged home life, in addition to him being a top student, talented, handsome, etc. He's got less of an excuse, you know? The fact that Misa's drawn to Kira's ideals out of lived trauma, whereas Light is drawn to those ideals largely out of ego is sort of a meaningful distinction. (By ego I don't just mean the belief that he's exceptional, but I mean -- the way he is so desperately driven to protect his conception of himself as a Good Person. That's a tragic and heart-rending manifestation of ego, but it's still about protecting his ego). But I also think there's 'guilt' on the level of the actions and choices you make regardless of motivations, and I'd see them as more equal on that front. Misa was an enthusiastic DN user and participant in Kira's plans/ideology. She's motivated by different things than he is, but she makes her choices knowingly. I think it would be diminishing of her agency and complexity to say that she's less responsible for her actions than Light is, if that makes sense. (Also, there are things Misa is guilty of that Light isn't, and vice versa. E.g., Misa pushes Light's boundaries in a way that can be very uncomfortable; Light uses Misa/others without real regard for them).

Now, beyond all that... the question is obviously about their culpability for their use of the DN. But it also makes me think about each of their *experiences* of guilt internally, and that might be even more interesting to me. I think that their relationship to guilt is one of the things that makes them so divergent from one another. Because... running away from guilt is such a huge part of what propels Light to go all out with the Kira thing. So much of his psyche is shaped around that black pit of guilt where whispers of "I did a bad thing. If I did a bad thing I'm not a good person" come from. He diligently tries to cover over that and barricade it off. He crafts an ideology that makes his murders righteous, and commits to making a New World(tm) where the meaning of 'good/right' is reshaped around that. He makes himself a God so that his actions are beyond judgment, or at least he is, because his murders are divine - they're acts of creation, even of love and self-sacrifice. And then Misa... well, guilt doesn't seem to be as obvious a factor for her, whether as motivation or reaction. I mean, I could imagine a reading where there's some well of underlying guilt about the death of her parents and her survival -- I think that would make sense given the circumstances. But... we never actually see that kind of Bruce Wayne -esque psychology peeking through, so that feels more like headcanon territory than direct analysis. Obviously she has deep feelings about the murder of her parents, but she has a very different relationship to guilt than Light. She usually comes across as very free from guilt. She knows what she wants and what her priorities are, and she pursues those without shame. She's impressed by Kira so she becomes the second Kira; she decides she loves Light and wants to be with him regardless of whether he even likes her, so she pursues that undeterred by his response to her. It feels like Misa is always calmly pushing forward toward what she wants, whereas Light's sprint forward towards his New World is really a running-away-from. But at the same time... what kind of underlying emptiness would make someone so completely devotional in the way Misa is, wanting to devote themselves to someone who mostly loathes them, to the point of not even seeming to be hurt by that person's disdain for them as long as they can still have that person in their life? I think there's definitely beneath-the-surface stuff with Misa, but it comes across like guilt is a colour that just doesn't exist in her world. Whereas with Light, every shadow in his world is the colour of guilt. If goodness or righteousness are the rays of the sun, Light Yagami is the moon that reflects the sunlight while trying to create a reality in which those rays are his -- are him -- a reality in which he becomes the sun. And yet he's a moon, and the dark side of it that he disavows is guilt, is 'I did a bad thing', is 'what if I'm not a good boy?' (Wow, went overboard with the metaphors there but too lazy to edit lol). 23. what was your favorite moment and why? Ah, this is hard (guess it's my fault for asking you this one first haha). I'll try to pick 1 or 2 more serious moments and 1 or 2 silly ones lol. So, serious ones:

The warehouse/Light's downfall. Specifically the laughter, if I had to pick a moment. Excellent scene in both the manga and anime, but MY GOD I will never get over the sound of his laugh in the anime. I think about it every day. (Also looove the lip-twitching as he barely contains his deranged glee leading up to his "I win"). I also really like his death in both; his fear, being reduced back down to his humanity, in the most pathetic way. But the laugh moment wins out for me; the way everything that has been pent up, repressed, held back, filtered, pruned is just... unleashed. He's finally showing his real human emotion to other people in this unrestrained way, but it's so twisted as to be monstrous.

Also, the moment when L says Light is his first real friend. I know that Ohba said L is lying in that moment, but my own analytical framework doesn't prioritize authorial intention above all else. And I think there is so much complexity and richness in that moment. I don't think L is lying, but he is manipulating. And obviously even the truth within the statement is a complicated one. But I can't help but see a genuine sort of sweetness in there in that moment, amidst the mind games and adversarial context. Light and Ryuk's reactions in that moment are so excellent too. It feels like a moment where the world stops spinning, just for a microsecond. A moment where some alternate reality almost touches this one.

Silly ones (time for my sweet Matsuda to shine lol):

When L and Light are fighting during the 'date' with Misa and Matsuda calls the room to break it up, telling L some news about Misa's popularity. Then after L hangs up he's like, "Matsuda's acting stupid again." And Light is like, "well, that is his speciality." (The fact that belittling Matsuda actually does diffuse their fight LOL). And Matsuda is on the other end, his face dropping, like, "do they know we can hear them..?" haha. Just a perfect Matsuda/Light/L moment.

OBVIOUSLY the whole mattress gambit too lol

In the anime, when L reveals to the task force that he's actually all three of the world's top detectives, he says something like, "here, I'll give you this strawberry for keeping my secret." And then he holds out the strawberry he plucked from his cake and Mogi kind of vacantly takes it and puts it in his pocket LOL

Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry it took me ages to respond. It was half-done for a while but I wanted to add more thoughts to the second section and just got around to that lol.

ask game

#My thoughts on Misa are a lot less solidified. In part because obviously we get less insight into her in the text #and so there's a lot more excavating required with her character. But also I just need to think more about her #So this is kind of a thinking out loud lol #death note #ask game #death note analysis #loved the question choices! :D

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coyotetatertot · 10 days ago

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CW addiction, family breakup discussion, with a side of ranting about Emma-May and bi erasure. I'm a little drunk right now and so I'm not being kind in this one. 💧 Not tagging this under the fidds tag because the average fiddleford fan fucking terrifies me.

Thinking about the implications of the pterodactyl in combination with the stated purpose of the gobblewonker. The gobblewonker being made "to catch (Tate's) fancy" implies that murderous robots are Fidds' best attempt at reaching out. A twisted, broken combination of his love language of gift giving and his need to build & be constructive for his own self-worth.

As a side note, do you know how much trouble and extra work that would have caused for a LAKE RANGER LMFAO. It's Tate's literal job to keep people from killing themselves out there and now there's a robot constructed for that purpose. Probably taking a few cracks at him, too, given he's a fisherman.

This .. ties into how McGucket is coded as a late stage meth addict. Not just with the physical symptoms (hair and teeth falling out, injuries that won't heal, etc) but with the mental symptoms, too. Mania and delusions — the latter being the key one, here. If you've ever listened to the families of late stage meth addicts, you might know about the thought patterns addicts tend to get stuck in. Many of them become convinced of falsehoods, think they're doing something good, and don't realize they're crossing boundaries and hurting those closest to them.

So to me, it tracks that for Fiddleford, delusions can manifest as a killer robot for a gift. As he's stated HIMSELF, he's convinced that it's a good thing. A sign of love. A plea for his son to visit him, again. Unable to process that it's actively endangering Tate, instead.

This is pertinent because Fidds loved his family above all else. Keeping their picture on his desk, fawning over them to Ford and going on about how they're the only people that keep him grounded. Foreshadowing for when they WERE the only thing that kept him grounded: he threw away every part of himself, including his own fucking name ("look! It's them words people call me!") but he NEVER forgot his wife and kid. The way his brain was collapsing in on itself "LIKE A NEUTRON STAR" and yet he held on to the memories of his wife and child. Fiddleford's mind was so fucking broken he thought his own reflection was a separate person with whom he could have a territory war. Literally failing a mirror self-recognition test, one of the cornerstones of how we classify cognition, and yet he STILL recognized his adult son, and remembers the date he last visited. Even when he forgot to get them Christmas gifts (bad, and an example of how addiction can fuck with your deeply-held values), he was devastated with how he'd hurt them and immediately locked himself away. Imagining the dread and guilt festering in him as he processed what he'd done — might have even been the moment he realized he had a problem (?)

The amount of love this man had for his family is one of the most compelling and gut-wrenching things about this tragedy. Because all this pain came from good intentions. It came from a place of love. It inadvertently turned him against the people he loved most — and for the latter stages, he probably didn't realize just how much he was hurting them. That is what addiction can do. It can and will FUCK you and turn you into a bomb that devastates everyone around you. And in the words of an addict, "The hardest part about recovery isn't keeping yourself from using. It's coping with the things you did back when you were using."

And that aspect of storytelling gets slept upon by fandom because we'd prefer to erase Emma-May as a problem character and rewrite Fiddleford's canon relationship as comphet despite it being one of his biggest motivators. And it ain't enough for him to be bisexual because then that'd imbue the marriage and family with too much meaning; for him to be maximally shippable, we have to nullify how he felt about his marriage, thereby rewriting his priorities, and making the full, ugly, devastating brunt of the consequences of addiction fall to the wayside. Because it's fucking hard to delve into the realities of waking up, realizing that your wife gave up on you, your son grew up fatherless and has watched you at your lowest point for years, you endangered both their lives with terrible machines, and YOU destroyed THEIR futures as well as your own, when we don't want to admit just how much these people meant to Fiddleford to begin with.

Which brings me back to the pterodactyl. I can't help but wonder if, like the gobblewonker, it was supposed to be a gift. A cry for help. Perhaps even begging to take him back, because he was circling the drain and losing his family — again, the thing he clung to the hardest — was one of the last milestones on the way down.

And I can't help but think that would be more compelling — and consistent with what we know about Fiddleford's attitude while addicted. "Some desperate part of him seemed to be trying to heal himself, hoping to weld his memories back together like one of his robots." Fiddleford isn't the kind of guy to sit idly by; he tries to fix shit. If his last ditch attempt to win his family back ended up traumatizing them instead?? What a poetic and thematically brilliant way that would be for the end of their family breakup.

And what a heartbreaking, bleak reality he would have to confront whenever he regains his mind.

#tate mcgucket #headcanons #ramblings

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jq37 · 10 months ago

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Ok, I'm a little horrified that Kristens neglect killed Yes!. That's a downer. And I guess poor Cassandra needs more than two worshippers to exist properly. Hopefully, crisis mode will help Kristen focus up and be NICER TO THEM. It's possible Kristen's crap attitude might be insecurity or guilt. She hasn't been doing the best job spreading Cassandra's gospel and just feels like she's failing them so she's lashing out. And Gorgug and Zelda breaking up bummed me out.

I think D&D is an…interesting but flawed avenue to look at religious trauma. In the same way that X-Men for instance can be used to make some interesting and engaging points about real life prejudice but the metaphor is imperfect because civillians in the marvel universe kinda have a point to be scared of the fact that a random teen with bad self regulation could suddenly manifest the power to blow up people he doesn't like with his mind (even if he doesn't mean to) whereas, irl, Black people or Jewish people or gay people are just people and if you're scared of them then that's a you problem.

Similarly, the religious trauma metaphor goes a little weird in a world where your god is just a person who 100% exists and gives you concrete superpowers every day. I've always felt this way about Kristen's various arcs and it's especially noticible to me right now because I get where she is on her arc, but it hits different when what she's running from is a girl who is emotionally her age and who counts on her for her existence rather than like…the IRL Catholic Church, you know?

She's being very callous in a way that feels very harsh, even though I know she def needs to go to therapy and there probably hasn't been a lot of time for that. And the fact that Cass looks just like her from a year ago really makes it seem like there's some internal, self-hatred or something she needs to work out. Likely some guilt there too--maybe from doing a bad job or for wanting to quit the religion thing alltogether or something else or a combination.

Because of the snippets of interviews I saw, I'm trusting that Brennan and Ally have a plan here, and I see how this could be the setup for something interesting. But yeah, I don't really find it fun to watch Cass get treated so poorly.

And yeah, RIP to Zelda/Gorgug but that's pretty typical for a high school relationship and at least that seems to have ended on good terms.

#dimension 20 #d20 #asks #farmer-10 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #I'm kinda concerned that this as above so below stuff is gonna start biting kristen in the ass soon #how long can cass keep being friendly and helpful when kristen isn't being those things as a cleric?

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right-there-ride-on · 8 months ago

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Deciphering the Civil War Arc

I will openly admit that even on my third readthrough of SBR this is probably the arc I had the hardest time grasping. It's clearly thematically rich, but what, exactly, is it trying to say? This is my attempt to better understand what the hell is happening in this stand battle.

I'll start off with a little bit of Hot Pants and Johnny, because their parallels fascinate me.

HP revisits the idea of 'sacrifice', one of the most prominent themes in SBR (brought up even in a light way during the very early chapters, when we see Gyro must choose between what to carry with him into the race, tossing aside whatever he decides not to take.)

Notably, Johnny and Gyro just had another arc dealing with the idea of 'sacrifice': Sugar Mountain. Johnny has already sacrificed the corpse parts to save Gyro (quite a few times, actually). The difference here is that the sacrifice is no longer governed by an equivalent exchange.

We know HP began collecting the parts for the Vatican in order to try and do something that would earn them 'forgiveness' for the death of their brother. Now, under the effects of Civil War, it's shown that the 'sacrifice' of the parts (to a supposedly 'larger cause' (namely Valentine, though this could be substituted with the Pope)) demonstrably did nothing to alleviate their personal guilt. How awfully Christian. HP advises Johnny to hold on to the corpse - if giving up the corpse parts to a larger cause did nothing, then perhaps holding onto them will unlock the path to forgiveness - but before the conversation can continue HP's guilt quite literally begins to suffocate them.

We now introduce the idea of not only 'sacrifice', but 'sins' and 'purification'. Guess the Christian influences aren't only aesthetic after all.

Of course, it's 'pure water' (holy water) that can purify one's guilt (guilt being the end result of committing a sin).

Now the idea of 'sacrifice' is being correlated with the ideas of both 'sins' and 'guilt'. A sin here is, essentially, the idea of 'sacrificing' for an unworthy cause (e.g. killing someone for a selfish reason).

Chapter 56: Civil War (Part 1)

We cut to Gyro encountering Axl Ro and Civil War. These are Civil War's first words, which tells us something about the theme of the arc. The question being posed is, put simply: Are your sins ('sacrifices') worth the guilt you now carry?

SURPRISE STARPANTS PARALLELS:

HP too is seeking the corpse parts to find forgiveness (to bring their 'negative' up to 'zero'!). There are some differences worth noting: HP kept the cause of their brother's death a secret, while the cause of Nicholas' death was quite literally shouted to the entire staff by Diego. The guilt ate at them inside, so they turned to God to find forgiveness. Johnny, meanwhile, pretended not to give a fuck about anything to avoid being constantly told to his face by George that his brother's death was his fault. HP hid among the holy while Johnny drowned in debauchery. But both of them seek forgiveness and some sort of return to normalcy, which they both believe can be achieved through the corpse. Through the corpse, all 'sins' can be forgiven - even sins committed in the corpse's name (think of all the people killed in the corpse's wake, noted by Valentine in Chapter 86: Ball Breaker (Part 3) - he literally calls Johnny a sacrifice!)

HP's backstory is immediately followed by the return of Johnny's own ghosts - he himself says that he's haunted every night by his guilt, manifesting inside and outside of dreams as Danny. Yet, even though Johnny claims he can shoot it (put his guilt behind him), we see that he continues to waver. Johnny, like HP, is caught between selfishness, guilt, trauma and redemption.

Johnny's illusion via Civil War is literally Nicholas parroting back the rhetoric about his death that George and Johnny believe about Johnny himself.

Chapter 57: Civil War (Part 2)

Ok, manifestation of trauma and guilt is here. How do we beat it? Jesus Christ himself gives Johnny some extremely cryptic hints.

We'll round back to this. I'm not even sure my interpretation is correct, but hey, that's what this whole exercise is for.

'Pure water' (holy water) only works for a while. Guilt (in the form of Danny) continues to hound Johnny, while HP and Gyro are literally being suffocated by their own. Furthermore, even once Johnny confronts what he perceives to be the source of his guilt (manifested via Civil War), we see that killing Axl Ro does nothing but strengthen Civil War, because in order to 'purify' himself of his 'sins', Johnny has sinned once again (by killing selfishly). The guilt thus compounds, unloading Axl Ro's guilt onto Johnny while Axl Ro, through the 'sacrifice' of his life (generally seen as the most selfless act one can do - think Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, which I'm sure the location of this arc is a reference to), is the one actually purified.

This is not a condemnation btw I think Johnny should be allowed to kill whoever he wants.

Chapter 58: Civil War (Part 3)

Axl Ro, through the 'sacrifice' of his life - or, more accurately, through having the resolve to sacrifice his life - is the one to achieve purification. Someone committed the ultimate sin against him, leaving him 'purified'.

He even spells it out for us:

The pursuit of the corpse has caused countless casualties. Those who were 'enemies' to Johnny and Gyro were 'allies' to Valentine. It really does come down to perspective. Anyway, the point is, Civil War has now condemned Johnny as the ultimate sinner. 'His' guilt (Axl Ro's) begins to quite literally start tearing Johnny apart.

Jesus again warns Johnny:

Jesus essentially guides Johnny through his trauma, helping him understand that he’s worthy of forgiveness and thus deserving of healing - but only if he himself has the resolve to move forward (and fight for the corpse). It's quite interesting that Jesus appeared to Johnny instead of, you know, the person of faith in the next room. Could it be because, as Johnny implies in Chapter 56: Civil War (Part 1), HP hasn't 'truly' devoted themselves to God, but rather is using religion to try and alleviate their guilt (because it turns out they were not actually gathering the parts purely for the Vatican, but also for themselves)? I can't say. I'm not well enough versed in theology to even begin unpacking that. Anyway, Jesus helps Johnny understand the truth of his trauma, and the 'sins' he supposedly committed against Nicholas and his father. Prior to the confrontation with Axl Ro and his vision of Jesus, Johnny even states, "I didn't throw him away! You threw me away! You didn't even come to my races! You didn't even come to see me in the hospital when I got shot!" (Chapter 58: Civil War (Part 3))

Some part of Johnny already understood he was unfairly blamed for Nicholas' death, but that's still guilt (his greatest 'sin') that he's carried with him up until this point. His heart is wavering because some part of him doubts he's even worthy to have the corpse parts - doubts he's worthy to be forgiven. But with Jesus' final warning, Johnny finally understands that Nicholas' death is not his burden to bear, and he no longer wavers on what must be done. He resolves to complete the corpse and be 'purified', even at the 'sacrifice' of his life.

Still, we're in the middle of a stand battle. Johnny is still under the effects of Civil War, but this guilt isn't his. Axl Ro is the one running from his guilt, his sin, his sacrifices. He allowed a massacre to occur in exchange for his own life - hardly an equivalent exchange. He's in the one in possession of the corpse, but he is unworthy of it.

Axl Ro becomes so enraged at the thought of someone like Johnny touching the corpse that he 'sacrifices' Johnny in order to keep the corpse to himself - thus committing the ultimate sin and condemning himself once again.

Chapter 59: Gettysburg Dream

Johnny, however, has been purified. We see through Axl Ro's comments and panic what kind of person he really is. He looks down on Johnny, calling him 'trash' and cursing him out (while holding the Holy Corpse!) This is a common theme is Steel Ball Run. We see it with Blackmore and later Valentine too - each of them proclaims themselves the only ones worthy of the corpse. Why? Well, their goals are loftier than Johnny's, better by default simply because they claim it's for a noble cause. Their sins should be forgiven because they did it in the name of good.

Yet, from what I know of the Bible, Jesus wasn't the sort of person who would have accepted that argument. In fact, Jesus was well-known as a miracle worker and man of the people. He probably would have much preferred healing a disabled man to helping a man kill a young girl (Blackmore), aiding a Confederate soldier (Axl Ro), or making one people's superior over others simply according to which nation they belong to (Valentine).

SBR ended with the corpse locked away, everyone left alive concluding such a thing shouldn't be in the hands of anyone. So, despite Gyro and Axl Ro's protests - is Johnny threatening to destroy the corpse truly a bad thing? Does anyone really 'deserve' the corpse at all?

Should anyone truly have the power to decide who deserves to be forgiven? To decide which causes are just and which ones are not? To decide what peoples deserve the right to good fortune?

To decide who has worth and who doesn’t?

Final notes:

In the case of Nick's death, Johnny was not guilty. In the case of collecting the corpse parts and being willing to kill to keep them? A little blurrier, but by examination of the text we see that, a majority, if not all of the time, Johnny and Gyro only kill in self-defense. It's not really a 'sacrifice' (sin) then, but an equivalent exchange - someone attempted to take their lives, and that person's life was taken instead.

Notably, self-defense (or rather, the protection of another) is the same excuse Valentine uses at the end of Chapter 59: Gettysburg Dream, and we see that he is free of the effects of Civil War.

I think (and this is a pretty big I think), Civil War's themes culminate in this: You cannot earn forgiveness as long as you deceive yourself about your sins. Whether the guilt is yours or forced onto you by somebody, you need to understand it. Forgiveness will not be achieved through sacrifice and sinning, but by being able to look yourself in the mirror and be okay with what’s happened to bring you to where you are.

To put it simply, don't run from your guilt / ‘sins’ (as HP did through the church, and as Johnny did when he shot anyone but himself) and don't blame others for your mistakes / guilt (Axl Ro). The only way to be truly ‘purified’ of your guilt is to have grace with yourself and find the resolve to move forward.

Civil War, the arc and the stand, is about overcoming trauma, forgiving your mistakes and accepting redemption.

I am totally open to discussing this further, as even now I am not so sure about this conclusion. This was just my reading and I'm very open to hearing that of others!

Thank you for reading.

#i had to reread ball breaker to get a quote and i started crying #johnny joestar #hot pants #axl ro #civil war arc #steel ball run #sbr #jjba #this also doubles as my post about johnny and hp parallels btw.#araki was so wrong for not resolving hp's arc... HOW WAS IT GOING TO END??#HP and Johnny should have hung out more btw. they would be besties #dare i tag #starpants #my posts #sbr analysis #steel ball run analysis

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silent-neutral · 1 month ago

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About SH2 Pyramid Head symbolism and the remake PT.1

--mentions of sexual violence, suicidal themes and just overall mental illness-- please PLEASE DON'T READ BEYOND THE CUT IF YOU PLAN TO PLAY THIS GAME BUT KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SILENT HILL 2!! There will be spoilers in this ''essay'' and I don't want to spoil such a great game for anyone starting fresh and blind, because that'd be the perfect way to start this game imho - your feeling toward this game will be heightened without knowing too much, plus forming your own view and having questions about it is also cool.

(***Had to cut this down into parts after watching 10+ hours of the remake and so much watching gave me a headache that felt like a literal hangover the next day ugh I felt like James lol otherwise it's too many topics and words in 1 post. This way it might be easier to organize them. )

------------------------------- My mind was blown recently. Ig I'm posting this to clarify more to myself than anything, but I had to search up Ito's recent comments about certain scenes with Pyramid Head. (ahem, the first cutscenes specifically). I've always had my own ideas and guesses about specific details playing as James, but after some clarifications on Ito's part about Pyramid Head.. it kind of jarred me, but at the same time explained other things and now my initial view of this game and its characters are validating my assumptions.. And if you knew about this already, well good on you.... Ito tweets so much sometimes, info like this gets buried and I had no idea until a week or so ago lol. So in light of SH2R releasing, I conveniently found out about some crucial details that would *also* inadvertently explain my (petty) gripes about SH2R. I watched the entire playthrough and my views have slightly altered (mostly positive, as this game was actually very faithful to the original imo). but for now I give you...a very wordy analysis on some themes of SH2. Excuse my rambly thought process though, it's very hard to organise them sometimes, I say to future self re-reading this later lol.

We know the monsters all carry symbolism relating to James. Specifically speaking, the series has a lot of sexual undertones present. Man.. Idk where it all started but I'm pretty sure we all assumed it was true when every Silent Hill source or fanpage over decades would bring up James' sexual repression. It made sense because of how things appeared, plus Angela's trauma and her demon....that James even fights... Well.. Ito hates fans saying James 'sexual repression' being symbolised in the monsters are canon. He doesn't mind people forming their own opinion, but he hates when fans say it's canon lol. At any rate, there was a lot of confusion from what I read at first (and the language barrier didn't help, but I think I got the gist of what he meant). --------------------------------------------------------------- Talking specifically about the mannequin scene, Ito says PH is *not* raping them. Ok sure, tbh it looks too vague to label it something extreme like that. But it became something of a meme and Ig it ended up being believed as true. Kinda wish this sentiment was quashed many years ago and not in 2020/2021 gah... So, what's happening in that scene is actually far more deeper than simply to traumatise James.... Pyramid Head is a manifestation of James' guilt AND unconscious desire to be punished for killing his terminally ill wife. James is called to Silent Hill via a delusional letter from Mary he created in his mind.(A made up one to ignore the real one). He's suffering from some kind of selective amnesia throughout the game, hence why everything is there to remind him of his pain. Obviously he's traumatised by what he did that his mind has blocked it out to the point it seems he has remembered a false timeline of events... but his soul is yearning for judgement. Ito says that, therefore, James is suffering from many delusions, that's what's creating and manifesting his inner demons (true for all that come to Silent Hill). Pyramid Head himself is manifested as the executioner, tasked with punishing James, and so.. He is actually attacking James' delusions, trying to remove them:

*o* And Ito goes further! Right after PH kills those mannequins, he stalks over toward the closet James hides in (also meaningful, lmao, but okok it's not about sexual orientation). Apparently, PH's appearance is shifting. Ito says he modelled and animated all the monsters in the original, so I trust him when he says that the front left panel in the corner of his helmet is peeling/flaking back and a tongue-like appendage protrudes from the hole. Although.. he admits it might be too dark to see in that scene, but it's there supposedly. I'm paraphrasing, but Ito implies that PH is impacted by James' delusions in that James *thinks* he sees a tentacle come out of the helmet and thus manifests that. And that's when James shoots at him - He shoots at his own desire to be judged when it attempts to remove his delusions that are keeping him from the truth of his reality!! James can't face reality at this point - those delusions are keeping him somewhat sane and distracted! It hurts too much this early on for PH to attack those delusions so he stops it...this is why he is 'in the closet'. James continues to keep those 'skeletons' there, for now. It makes PH look like the true good guy - an angel.. like Valtiel (interesting to note they have similar body design). Because of learning this, I very quickly noticed how throughout the Remake, you will find plenty already downed enemies.. and it was easy to think ''PH was here''. After James realises the truth from the tape, the Hotel reveals its true appearance (not sure when it burned down or if that has something to do with Alessa, er wait I remember in Origins it was in her house.. well anyway! this could explain James' sketchy memory of events, especially when confronted by Laura having only met Mary and received the letter a year ago in-game.) Anyway, the point is; if James is aware, then the delusions begin to fade. So after watching the Remake, I hoped that the monsters wouldn't appear/be weakened and lo and behold! Bloober was paying attention! The monsters after you watch the tape are weak and limping, can't attack or are already dead and I was delighted! It means Ito was consistent that the delusions the town creates makes up the core theme of Silent Hill. In the original, there are only 2 lying bodies before the PH fight. (I forget the meaning behind them but it has something to do with James' helplessness.) At any rate, Remake did the 'dying vision' symbolism much better here and the explanation is so so fascinating that it led me to rethink the concept behind PH. Side note though, about that hole in PH's helmet. I was always so damn confused about it for so many years!! I used to draw it as a rectangular hole (some art by Ito actually depicted it like that iirc), and then eventually to a gunshot hole since James, well, shot at him, so I assumed that's what it was from. and NOW it's actually a triangular shaped hole from the paneling being 'turned upward' due to how James' is perceiving him in the moment. What a revelation, I cry. Ah.. and note on other design aspects.. Apparently Ito never designed PH with a mass of flesh under the helmet (just a perpetual shadow and the neck bag thing at the back) and he doesn't even know who conceptualised that, but I think it's due to all the cameos and appearances PH has made in many games since SH2. And he looks slightly different each time so.. yeah, interesting that.

Even the figma has that fleshy mass (and gunshot hole!) but I'd say it is accurate on nearly everything else:

It is a very nice figure though. I can't blame all these figures ever released that *weren't* supervised by Masahiro Ito himself, because lmao, Ito just admitted that PH is subjected to changes depending on how James views him, and that explains why details are vague and hard to determine let alone see bc the game is so dark. Take this little gacha figure of PH for example, from a cute baseball game called, I think, Konami Dream Stars (Pal Pro kun?) Yeah, I got Snake as well lol:

...and yes, shameless little peek at my nerdiness on display, all the Capcom stuff is directly below it lolll

------------------------------------------------------------------ So! Having learned what I did, I ofc had to question the next obvious thing; the cutscene just before the first boss fight. PH was without a doubt molesting the Lying Figure/Body which was moaning suggestively the entire fucking time - no one is about to gaslight me into thinking THAT wasn't sexual! And yes, Ito admits that scene was intentionally made to appear sexual (as opposed to the mannequins) and yet he says it has no sexual meaning....wtf does that even mean?! Well, I think I got it. Again, language barrier is most likely to blame, but... To apply the last explanation for the mannequins; James' delusions are making him *think* he is seeing something intimate to the point it manifests right then and there which is so disturbing he recoils and tries to go back through the now-locked door. And so.. it would seem that to PH, he is just trying to destroy the delusions and he can't help how James perceives that; it's just going to manifest accordingly. And while Ito hates 'sexual repression' as somehow being canon to some fans (the majority actually), well, bruh... can you really blame people for coming to that conclusion? The flesh lips, nurses too, are on the risque side. Now, idk how it doesn't indicate something sexual if it's not meaning to be but I am aware of Ito's art style tending to be quite sexual and suggestive, featuring a lot of bdsm themes in his artwork and he is quite obviously inspired by at least HR Giger's work. So making the nurses, for example, look the way they do may be a stylistic choice, but I highly doubt it doesn't also have a symbolic purpose other than referencing Lisa's image or something (This is Silent Hill though ffs, everything is symbolic, it HAS to be). I'll reassess the meaning of those for myself, but specifically I'm addressing PH (and soon in another post, the other elephant in the room: Abstract Daddy.) Initially, I always saw PH as trying to remind James of his sins, jolt his memory, to wake him up to reality. (Which is interesting considering it's not clear if Silent Hill itself is even rooted in reality, the alter dimensions I mean. Another topic I want to address soon.) I also noticed the mirroring effect PH/Maria were doing in relation to their human counterparts; PH is James, and Maria is Mary; James killed Mary, and so PH kills Maria. But.. If PH is actually also trying to destroy the delusions, (which also appears to reflect the fact James is trying to overcome his guilt, his mental blockages that are causing his selective amnesia)that inadvertently means PH will need to destroy himself in the end as well, and that is exactly what happens..

Coincidentally, this would also reflect James' suiciding.

But first, PH attacks the monsters that are manifested and represent different aspects of James' trauma/psyche. Then he is constantly confronting James by killing Maria, or James having to return to a dead Maria. I thought he was basically tormenting James by showing him what he'd essentially done to Mary. "This is what you're guilty about, this is what you need to accept'' I think that idea still holds water (pun very intentional), but now I feel it adds another layer because Maria is the ultimate delusion... and thus, PH must destroy her. Now when she says 'I'm not your Mary, but I can if you want me to be' makes more sense to me what she is. She too is subjected to James' delusions because she keeps shifting the perspective she talks or thinks in, Mary's or Maria's? But she knows she is not Mary, just a manifestation of an idea. And James deep down knows she is holding him back (like all the other delusions) and that feeling calls PH to thus kill her. When James can't escape the reality of his past, he finally accepts the truth, the memories revived by the tape, and confronts PH after stabbing Maria a final time. 'Stop denying/ignoring your guilt, and stop trying to cover it up with distractions like Maria'. James finally doesn't need to be told anymore, he has punished himself (fitting, seeing as PH is an extension of James anyway) and thus PH, the final delusion/illusion kill themselves and disappear.

-------------------------------------

OK so that's PH! Now to compare that with the remake

My main gripe was that the game is way too saturated in colour and too bright in certain parts, but it improves that as you delve deeper in the game thankfully. Kudos to Bloober for changing James' face to something more 'unaware' and disassociative. Gripe number 2: I do wish they cut out the 'hand rubbing' in the opening scene or at least tone it down bc that kind of foreshadowing is too damn obvious, sorry. Not needed. Especially not right at the start. Not even for old fans playing it, we know what happens, but cmon...It makes James too aware of *something* and his selective amnesia is what gives rise to his own customised demons...if he is even slightly aware of what he did, then what is the point to seeing the monsters, let alone PH attacking them, now that we know what Ito had intended? Wouldnt that change their appearance, or rather, remove them altogether? sigh, anyway. I find PH a bit too bright, not dirty enough and consequently, not as disturbing. Partly for that was how they clearly removed the lying body scene from the boss fight. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but now with much needed context, this now makes sense...

HOWEVER....If my guess about James' assuming something sexual was taking place in that scene is what manifested it to begin with, then what is there to say about the remake?... So the simple act of hand-rubbing (awareness) really DOES make a difference, huh?! >:O it took away our favourite PH scene! 😂💔..

We can talk about DEI and stuff like that affecting certain themes in this game.... but Ito saying 'it doesn't mean it's sexual' would explain why it's taken out of the remake. Ito has supervised the Bloober design team on this, so they would have so much more context and info from the man himself... Still, it appears to conflict with James' psyche, bc it is through his very perspective that we are perceiving the town and how it presents itself to James so ofc if James sees something explicit, so are we the player. We are seeing the town and monsters through his eyes. And there is much to say about whether or not the other characters are even seeing the same town, but I'll get to that too. There is also the possibility that it's just 'creative freedom' on Bloober's part. It sucks, but overall... the game's pros outweigh the cons. Symbolism for Silent Hill is a very strong trait though, so I'm a bit conflicted about those changes. In the end, PH being a punisher and attacking the delusions of James' traumatised state of mind is fundamental, so as long as that is present, then I can't really say it's so inaccurate ig. It does imho, take away from PH's menacing persona and tones the disturbing factor down which consequently, in my humble opinion, makes him less scary. Intimidating, perhaps.. but less so. He looks very cool though lol. Especially how he breaks the walls during the chase and the final PH battle, I was super impressed with it! I didn't really like how PH was animated in the cutscene in the first fight (the way he turns around, idk..) but I love how they both throw the spears at you! This fight definitely improved upon the og version. Ah, and the sound of his heavy footsteps are wonderful as well! There was another creative thing Bloober did with PH's knife where you have to pick it up to advance through the tentacle wall thing. I realised this was a manifestation of James mental blocks since he starts holding his head in pain. But I thought "oh cool! James is gonna use the Great Knife to cut them!" But sadly, no.. but.. those tentacles would peel back, afraid of the presence of PH's knife... they are delusions after all~

Oh btw.. I didn't realize this before, but as soon as you attain Angela's knife, PH appears with the Great Knife - before this, he is unarmed. In Remake, right after you get her knife, you can hear PH's infamous screeching coming from dragging the Great Knife, reiterating that he is James. Subtle but very cool! I can't believe I didn't make that connection myself lol bah.

A bit more gripes to mention though: his strange janky movements that were imitated in remake made it look like a sad parody of the original scene, which was much more disturbing. I think it would have been better had they not added that part, it was random to see when he was moving as normal as one does trying to apprehend the mannequins, then calmly and slowly assessing the room only to suddenly flail about and strike random poses barely reminiscent of what he does in the original...and then just stand there as if James never shot him 🤨 not to mention, James looks so unbothered in this scene, he doesnt look at all anxious like in the original..the whole 'interaction' looked awkward. The original scene was paced better giving PH a kind of build up to those strange movements. I also dislike the lack of reaction and bad pacing with several of Remake's cutscenes as it toned down much of the intensity in crucial moments of the game, like in this one with PH. Yet... improved on others that I think were made better than the original's by elaborating on them.

Anyway I will touch on this and add more criticisms on remake in another post, this one is long enough lol; i just tried to get my thoughts on PH in one post but if I missed something I'll just add it in the PT.2.

If you actually read this, you must be as obsessed as I am (thank you)! Feel free to add your thoughts if you want, I love talking about silent hill symbolism or the ideologies behind The Order.

#pyramid head #silent hill #sh2remake #sh2 #Discussion #Silent hill symbolism

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idolofm4dness · 2 months ago

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I'm currently in the middle of writing about Ninjago au. Centering the relationship between Lloyd and Harumi has a strong chokehold on me that I can't believe. I betrayed myself by shipping them with the rest of the ninjas and testing Lloyd about his crush. Its was a slap in the face. She was the villain of the second season. I was shipping them hard even though I have a love-hate relationship with shipping myself.

Bleeding Hearts au -

What if Lloyd and Harumi had a final fight where Lloyd, because of the saying "beware the anger of a good man times 100," confronts Harumi about her actions. Harumi gets her own version of the cave and now has a scene where Lloyd makes her see the pain she has caused. He points out all the people she hurt with the destruction of the Jade Palace, how she only focused on the king and queen, but her plan killed others who were innocent. He mentions that the people of Ninjago asking her if their praise Garmadon, and how, as saviors of Ninjago, people are living in fear as they know they're imprisoning people who should be against them. A protector is supposed to bring hope, not fear. Also, he is angry at her and the Sons of Garmadon.

He Agree with her about his father being a savior. He did it twice. As the great devour attack, he too saw him as a savior, but saw the good in him when he sacrificed himself to repent for what he did when he was evil, basically. They see what they did as disrespectful.

He's done playing nice with that girl, and I really want him to put on the mask of hatred, or else we'll have more glimpses of his oni side, showing that he hates her just as much. In her diary, it's explained that he seemed to care for her, but he talks about how she destroyed two people, Hutchins and him, who actually loved and cared about her. Let's be real, I love Lloyd, but sometimes I feel like he's too passive. He needs to go apeshit once in a while because the villains mess with him too much, and at some point, they're going to realize that they should stop mentally torturing him. He basically becomes her villain in a way. They say he was mostly inspired by a piece of fan art where Lloyd is a manifestation of Harumi's guilt. Also, he actually does try to rebuild his relationship with Garmadon.

My second AU is inspired by Revue Starlight. Funny enough, I've actually finished writing the first chapter for this one. In this AU, the two main characters are essentially like Karen and Hikari, but with a twist - they have bad blood and attend rival schools. In this version, they actually meet as children in a gift shop, where they both see the same play and quickly become friends, promising to become actors together like in the anime. I'm still working out the details, though. I haven't figured out Harumi's relationship with Lloyd in this AU because, unlike in the show, he isn't responsible for killing her parents. Her parents died in a car accident, which doesn't really involve Lloyd at all, so I don't know why she's so angry at him. I don't have much else planned for it, but I really like this idea. I was actually inspired to write this while re-watching some Revue Starlight revues, specifically the revue of the hunting. Is this is Anime is like figure out your problems via song. I feel their relationship is much better in this version and they actually do forgive each other.

if you guys wanna give me some suggestions, I like it to give us some suggestions of some revue titles.

#ninjago #llyod garmadon #ninjago lloyd #ninjago harumi #harumi jade #princess harumi #lord garmadon #ninjago garmadon #emperor garmadon #sons of garmadonll #llorumi

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s0ft-d3cay · 8 months ago

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Terrified

Shigaraki x Male Reader | Dog…this was not what I had planned.

WARNINGS: AFO, Fighting AFO, violence from AFO towards reader and Shigaraki and the other way around, mentions of reader being kidnapped, mentions of drugs being used on reader but not descriptive on what, reader is smart, reader is very self-sacrificing in this one, reader kills AFO, reader suffers from his quirk turning against him, like it’s pretty bad, reader has a panic attack but Shigaraki helps him, cute ending this time! No seriously, they kiss and joke at the end I promise. Reader has an energy based quirk that uses an exchange of any present emotional energy from enemies and alleys, can be used as a power up to manifest his body like daggers and wings as well as power ups and a healing sector to those he's formed an emotional connection to. However, too much consumed energy will result in a black hole like effect to the Reader’s quirk. Reader's body will enter a cycle of healing and destroying itself until it either evolves or another set of present emotions can override the painful cycle. Reader has three sets of wings because why not...

WC: 4,412

The media was in a world wind of their own, cameras and reporters blocking a high security hospital. Tomura felt an unexpected wave of panic and anxiety when he read the news. With deep uncertainty and doubt, he walks towards the place where Y/N was currently being held, ready to save the healer.

Tomura walks up to the high security hospital, his heart is beating at a pace that makes him feel nauseous. Not afraid for himself, he knows very well that he is powerful enough to deal with any situation. But he's afraid for Y/N… Glancing over at the guards surrounding the entrance, and decides to make his way inside.

Red eyes stare passed the guards, analyzing each guard's position without moving. A powerful burst of his Quirk, ridding the guards of their duty. He then opens the cell door and enters. Finding Y/N strapped down to a hospital bed in a dark room with no windows. Moving fast beside the bed, gently caressing his face with panic in his eyes. "Y/N…healer it's me..." He whispers, his eyes glossing over in relief. Y/N instantly leans to the villains touch. "Tomura…?" The man whispers out, voice hoarse and cracking. Eyes heavily open, exhausted and hazed over. "You…you can’t be…" Y/N quietly utters out, his exhausted gaze turns straight to worry. "It's me, Y/N…I’m here. I’m right here..." Tomura whispers, smiling and caressing his face. Hands shaking in his presence makes him extremely happy. The person who never gave up and always believed in him and his own freedom. "...You know I couldn't just leave you here..." Voice breaking a few times.

Y/N's eyes began filling with tears, head shaking back and forth in your caress, the cuffs around his wrists and ankles clank as he moves. Brows lower in guilt, realizing what he’s done. "Tomura you…you need to get out of here." He warns in an almost silent voice, how could the villain not see that this was a trap.

Tomura shakes his head. "No, healer…I won't leave you by yourself anymore." Bringing his face closer to the healer. "Y/N…my Y/N..." He whispers, his voice almost inaudible. "Can you please, forgive me?" Tomura stares with deep sincerity, wanting Y/N to understand that his heart was good. That his own belief in the villain's goodness was always right. That he never wanted to kill anyone…he wanted to be loved and cared for, just like Y/N always wanted for him. Y/N's eyes soften as he leaned in closer.

"Of course I forgive-but you don’t have time…you need to go." He whispers desperately, his forehead to yours as he tries pushing you away. "What do you mean?" Tomura whispers back, red eyes of fearful abandonment stares through Y/N. Red eyes filled with confusion, and he's not sure what the other man meant by 'not having time'. "I have nothing but time…we have nothing but time." He declares, voice starting to shake and falter. Fresh tears fall down Y/N's cheeks as he trembles. Eyes so full of self-blame, knowing he was the cause of their fates. "Why did you have to come back..." The healer whispered, sentence breaking in between his words.

"My...how heartbreaking…" None other than All For One enters the small cell, suited up in his black new suit and breathing mask. Tomura's heart skips a beat at the sight of All For One entering the cell. His expression changes rapidly, ready for his master’s heartless brutality. He holds Y/N tight, still stroking his face and the tears that fall down the healer's cheeks. "What a pleasant surprise... I was worried that you might come after me..." He says, looking at All For One with an groundbreaking stare. He knew that All For One was expecting it, but Tomura knew that he had to stay behind to help the healer escape, regardless of the consequences for himself. "Lucky for me, you came right where I needed you to be." All For One predicted, taking a few steps inside the room. His presence so thick the air became still and cold. "I thought we destroyed all your childish endeavors?" He questions in a disappointed tone.

Tomura chuckles softly, in an almost vile way, and he answers to All For One. "Destroying all my childish endeavors is easy...but...destroying my connections with the league…with him. You could never.." He remarks in a serious tone, his eyes still staring at All For One's without showing any emotion whatsoever. Hands continuing to caress his healer’s face, wanting him to feel comfortable despite the situation. "You may have destroyed everything I cared about...but you could never destroy who I am." He says, his jaw clenched.

Silently watching the two, Y/N tries to formulate a plan to get both of them out safe. His wrists and ankles were still cuffed, leaving him immobile. He needed All For One to throw him, plan and simple, the man was already agitated enough. He tries to lean closer to whisper in Tomura's ear. "Stall for me, I have a plan…" The drugs they'd gave him were still circulating in his system, he only needed a little more time to create a portal. Slowly but surely taking in the thick disappointment that waved off of All For One, body shaking from the overwhelming pull of indulging on the evil man’s very being.

Tomura nods, keeping his dangerous gaze at All For One with a smug expression, confident that he can help. "I knew you wouldn’t kill him. It wasn’t too long of a wait until he practically fell in my hands. Now that we’re all here, you can watch as I kill him instead." All For One uses a sound wave quirk, effectively breaking the hospital bed. Throwing both men to the floor side by side, Y/N facing away as Tomura kept his eyes on his master, All For One strides toward Y/N first.

Tomura's face changes immediately as he crawls in front of the healer. He places himself in front of you, trying to shield you from the worst possible outcome. "He has nothing to do with this!" He warns to All For One, his tone being firm and commanding. All For One laughs manically, the anger and blood-lust utterly adorable to him. "You’re wrong Tomura..." The man’s quick to use his Rivet Stab quirk to shove the blue haired villain against the opposite wall. Blunt force pushing the white haired man against the wall, unable to move. Widened eyed in fear as he looks back at Y/N, heart beating out of his chest. He can feel the panic rising inside his chest, the need to protect his healer took over like a primal instinct. Both hands placed on the wall behind him, decay slowly cracking the floor and surrounding walls towards All for One.

"He has everything to do with this, he’s taking away everything that you are. I’m only doing this for your own good, Tomura." All For One said, now holding a limp Y/N by his neck as he pulls him to stand. The healer claws at the man's hand tightening around him, eyes closing as his ability to breathe was slowly being taken. "Let him go!" His voice being filled with desperation and rage, he clenches his hand to the wall in anger. Tomura’s quirk quickly spread over the room as All For One mockingly laughs, watching as his young protégé struggles to save his healer. Y/N on the other hand was now in the process of gathering the last bit of energy for his plan, the controlling manipulation and magnetic dread absorbing within himself.

Y/N opens his glowing eyes, glancing over at you, smiling softly. His expression turns smug as he winks at Tomura. "Meet you on the ground." He whispers before both All For One and him disappear into though a glitchy red portal. Tomura immediately dashes out of the building, following the sounds of fighting. Eyes are determined and heart is racing, knowing that this could truly be the end for his master.

Hit after hit, Y/N continues to endure; his body sore and bloodied from being thrown around like a rag doll. Planning on keeping All For One's attention on him for as long as he could. "You and Tomura are weak, you’ve completely destroyed my successor. He was perfect and you ruined him." All For One relays with each attack of his air cannon quirk.

Remaining hidden from All For One's view, Tomura takes a deep breath as he enters the battlefield to help. All For One was too distracted with Y/N to see the real threat behind him. "Master!" Tomura shouts, calling the supervillain's attention. All For One turns his head, and the moment he sees Tomura, his face changes with a hint of shock and malevolent aura. "So, you’ve finally decided to fight against me…how predictable Tomura." He says, arrogance tracing his words.

The healer takes the chance to plant two punches to All For Ones face before pushing him into the building behind Tomura. The white haired man smirks at seeing Y/N's attack hit hard, and decides to take this opportunity to also strike at All For One, firing a powerful stream of decay towards him. All For One counters back with his own force, managing to push Tomura against the near by wall. Focuses his attention at Y/N, ready to deliver the fatal strike.

Y/N sprints to the both of them, his anger at All For One begins manifesting over his body in purple orbs, sending a wave of daggers towards All For One, carefully missing Tomura. Red eyes fill with worry again when he sees Y/N getting closer without any source of protection from All For One’s next attack. The older man raises his hand up to the healer, air canons shooting at him.

"Healer, look ou-" Tomura tries to call out, but is abruptly cut-off by All For One's foot hitting him in the stomach, throwing him out of the building. His body meeting the brick wall across from the two. The white haired man rolls to the floor to catch his breath. Y/N continues charging All For One, his intent to make him suffer fills his veins. The healer’s pain transforming his quirk to manifest three pairs wings on his back. His speed now even faster towards the supervillain, a blade in each hand as he swings at All For One.

Tomura watches as Y/N charges at All For One, and can't help but marvel at the speed and strength of the healer. All For One slightly impressed at the reveal of his power up, but not impressed enough to counter-attack at full force. Tomura can only watch in horror as he feels the ground shaking under his feet. Rushing over to the man, his eyes wide in fear. Y/N spins himself in midair as All For One’s counter attack nears him, his wings glowing turquoise at the impact. All For One’s quirk was not only shield from Y/N, but mirrored off his wings, ricocheting back to the old man. Sending him flying back across the street yard. Y/N's eyes full enveloped in black as dark discolored tears ran down his cheeks. He breathes heavily as he struts over to Tomura, his eyes still on All For One with a look of disgust.

Tomura, relieved at the healers success can't help but smile when his previous master gets hit by the reflected attack. He steps closer to Y/N, "How are you holding up?" He asks, in a heavy pant. His gaze on the man’s back and wings as he awaits a responds. "I don’t know how long I have in this form." Y/N answers, voice now a mix of deeper and higher pitches. He unnaturally stands tall as he throws his blade at All For One, stabbing the tall villain in the hand. The man from a distance doesn’t flinch or cry.

"Let’s make this quick and get out of here for good." The healer declared softly towards Tomura, even within the inky blackness of his eyes his usual warm gazing into the white haired villain. Tomura's eyes fill with hope after hearing your words, and he nods firmly at your words, "Agreed, I know I have been a coward in front of All For One in the past, but I will not run anymore." He says, voice filled with intent to kill. Looking back at the man he used to call master, throwing a powerful Air Blast. "Go, I'll take care of this." He calls to the healer, gesturing for him to escape the fight.

"No, I’m not leaving you. Not this time…" Y/N insisted, taking a step closer. Wings fluttering as his closeness brought a new warmth and add energy to Tomura. Unbeknownst to Y/N, his quirk turning into a healer sector to those near the man. Tomura stares with surprise as soon as he feels the warmth and extra energy within his body. "Y/N are you…healing me right now?" Unsure of how to react, he's thankful for the extra boost yet at the same time he is afraid that the healer is weakening himself in the process. "No, I’m not." He answered back with a look of confusion, his black eyes turn to his hands in question, then back up to Tomura. "Am I…healing you right now?" Looking back at the other villain, noticing how the wings on your back thrum with a familiar beat. He thinks to himself, 'Is he using all of his remaining energy on me?' "I think so..." Tomura says, his eyes dwelling on Y/N with concern.

Still, he can't help but be thankful for what Y/N is doing for him. He feels the pain in his body dissipate, even with the knowledge that his love is doing something incredibly brave and risky right now. "I.." The healer looks back at All For One as he throws dagger towards the old man, hitting his kneecap. A realization hit him, "I have an idea, I need to get close to him again. I can reverse my healing properties and turn them into a black hole, I need you to be ready after." He asked.

"Black hole…?" He repeats under his breath, eyes wide and unsettled. "Don't tell me you're going to absorb him…" The healer doesn’t answer, his wings seemingly drooped over him in guilt. Wordlessly, Y/N sprints to All For One with a few flutter of his wings.

Tomura's heart races, as he watches Y/N run towards the supervillain. He feels a sudden rush of dread fill his stomach, as he realizes how terrible this could go. "Healer, please..." He whispers softly, his tone filled with desperation and panic. "...be careful."

With no weapons in his hands, Y/N collects his healing energy and twists. Aura changing as he reaches All For One, a burst of light emanates from him forming a large bubble around him and All For One. Unlike his usual wards, this one had an electric pulse to it, like a heartbeat. Tomura's eyes widen in sheer shock, the air around him feels suddenly stagnant, the weight of dread heavy over Tomura as the reoccurring thought of losing Y/N enters his brain. All For One soon falls to the ground in agony, writhing and squirming in pain. Y/N, with open palms facing up allows All For One’s essence to flow through him freely.

The white haired man's heart races as he watches the scene within the bubble, eyes filling with relief once he sees All For One being robbed of his stolen quirks. The bubble begins to waver as the healer becomes wobbly with the amount of energy he’s in-taking. Y/N's face shows a moment of pain before the pop of the bubble, trembling on his feet as All For One lays almost motionless in front of him. The healer stands in one spot, afraid to move with all the energy stored within him.

Tomura's eyes fill with distress as soon as he sees how exhausted and weakened the healer now is. Feeling extremely anxious about facing All For One directly one last time. He takes in a deep breath, getting ready for what is yet to come. "...Stay behind me" He whispers protectively. The healer stays in place as the man stepped in front of him, eyes boring on All For One. He lays on the ground in shock, every quirk he’s collected over the plethora of years…gone. Energy nearly depleted and taken. "You…you two-" Trying to speak, his voice strained from his screams of protest. Tomura takes a step closer to All For One, his fists clenched in anger. "What's the matter? Is it frustrating, having to fight with only your words?" He asking, a sadistic smile forms on his lips.

All For One grits his teeth in frustration, trying to stand up and fight again. Luckily, he was too weak to get up. "What…how you done to me…give them back now!" The man demanded at Y/N, he turn to Tomura in anger. "I’m gonna make the both of you suffer for this…I am going to make you suffer the worst Y/N, you hear me?" He threatens in a low tone. The now quirkless man glares at both of them with pure hate.

"Kill him." Tomura commands simply. Y/N steps over to the older man, rolling him on his back with a kick to his side. Watching the supervillain groan in pain at the hit, the healer then manifests a scythe from his hands. Setting it near the man’s neck before raising it above his shoulders and swinging down. One fluid motion left both Y/N and more importantly Tomura free from their shackles.

Before Tomura gets to the point of feeling satisfied with his late masters well deserved death, his eyes fill with worry for the healer again. The man drops the scythe on the ground as a heavy wave of exhaustion crashed into him. "Y/N..." He says quietly, slowly approaching the man with caution. "Are you alright?" He asks, a bad feeling developing about what his partner's answer will be after using so much of his energy.

Y/N’s head turns to Tomura, his eyes no longer glimmering and bright, but distant and hazy. His body then goes limp as he crashes to the ground, beyond the point of exhaustion. "I…I can’t..." The healer tries to speak, his voice cracking between his normal one and his new combination of pitches. The feeling of his healing and warmth was no longer emitting from him. Tomura was quickly to his side, arms moving the man to rest against his shoulder and neck. Feeling the lack of the warmth and energy that he felt not even a second ago. Something is definitely off and he knows that he has to do something, fast. "Y/N, stay with me. Please..." He begs, a hint of desperation behind his words.

His arms cradling Y/N in his lap, as if holding the man was the only thing he could think of. The healer’s breathing was sharp and quick, eyes frantically focused on the healer’s scrunches ones. Fear written all over his face, his body shakes in pain and overwhelming energy. "I…I don’t…I-" Y/N whispers out, terrified of what’s happening. His body was quickly turn back from his awakened state into his normal body. With no energy to heal himself, actively pulling his body apart.

Terrified at the healer's condition, Tomura’s vibrant eyes gloss over as he begins to panic. He knows Y/N needed help, The villain needed to do something and fast. "Tomura…I-I’m scared." The man whimpered, his shaky arms tight around the white haired villain. Desperate to feel something other than the pain of his body eating away at itself, tears falling down his cheeks in droves. "It h-hurts.." Tomura feels worst by the second, feeling the man embracing him so tightly. He wants to take away that fear in the healer's eyes.

Mind racing as he thinks quickly, trying to think of what might help you heal, or at least ease your pain."Y/N...can you feel me?" Tomura questions, his tone full of urgency, needed the healer's answer to know if he can try something. "F-feel you?" Y/N repeated, trying to focus on the man embracing him. The familiar tranquility and essence within, wanting to comfort the healer and sooth his pain. "You feel safe and-d so so warm and…" He answered after a moment, still clinging to Tomura. Head placed against his chest, sighing in relief when he hears the man’s answer, gently holding Y/N’s head against his chest.

"Good. I'm gonna try something, alright?" Tone filled with the hope that his words will encourage the man."I'm going to share some of the energy with me, so you can use it to heal yourself." Tomura explained, thinking back to all the times that Y/N shared his aura and warmth to him and felt how the man used it to heal him.

Y/N’s blood runs cold at Tomura’s words, squirming in his hold. Even in his weakened state…he still fights back. "No, no please, no more energy I don’t want that again please!" The healer pleaded trying to push away and pull himself away, even with Tomura's warming aura helping. It then clicked with Tomura, taking All For One’s quirks and energy came with his own emotions and memories that made their way through the healer. Completely overwhelming the man in his arms.

"Look at me." Tomura gently begs. "...we don't have any other choice. If you don't take my energy you’ll..." Trying to explain the situation. "Please take my energy, I'm begging you, Y/N…" The healer’s eyes stare up at Tomura, melting against his embrace again, only the slightest jolting of his pain was keeping him from fully healing.

In a state of exhaustion and desperation, Y/N questioned. "…Promise no bad energy…" He whispers in painful conflict, he wanted to pain to go away, but he feared in feeling anything that wasn’t warm and comforting. "Promise?" Tomura feels his heart aching at the need of his touch, his heat, his comfort. He feels how the healer is trying to use what remains of his energy to fight, but it is clear to him that Y/N has grown too weak to stop the pain that is flooding his body. Tomura nods at the request with determination. "No bad energy, I promise."

"…okay." The healer whispered, head moving to rest on Tomura’s chest. Allowing himself to be exposed to all that Tomura could give and feel for him, raising a shaky trembling hand to his chest as he takes small amounts of energy. Tomura places a loving hand on Y/N's back, reassuringly. Glad that the healer was finally accepting his help. In turn, he does what he can to give Y/N more ease. He feels how intensifying and stronger his energy flowing to the man.

Y/N took small portions of energy, healing himself while replenishing the villains own injuries. After a few minutes his body settles from trembling and relaxes fully against Tomura. His breathing now normal and full, the healer staying with in the confined energy of love towards him before he returns his own loving energy back. Feeling how Y/N gave back his energy back, fills Tomura's heart with relief. "Y/N…you had me scared." He utters with a smile on his face, tone filled with admiration.

"…I didn’t…we didn’t have anything else to use and I thought I’d be able to do it…" The healer admitted apologetically, hugging back. Arms and hands no longer shaking as he hugs back firmly. "I’m sorry I scared you…" Y/N whispered honestly. "It's fine." Tomura replied back softly. "...All that matters is that you are safe and well right now and I’m so relieved to see you back to normal." He adds with a light smile.

"...just try not to scare me like that again, okay?" Tomura chuckles softly, trying to get the mood to a light and humorous one. Y/N nods into his shoulder. "…did I at least look cool with the wings?" He asked muffled, lightly up the mood with his partner. Tomura laughs at the healer's words, smile widening. "You know that you always look handsome, even with wings." He kisses his cheek gently after speaking. "I feel like I haven't kissed you in years." He commented softly, tone playful and teasing.

"It’s only been four days since you’ve kissed me, silly." Y/N replies back, his own tone mirroring the villain’s playfulness. His exhaustion only a hint within his body, but no longer in his voice or expression. "I know Y/N, I was just kidding." Tomura chuckles again, still holding him tightly in his arms. "But I sure need a couple more kisses to make up for those days without your sweet kisses." He adds with a mischievous grin and adoring red eyes. "...my sweet healer." He adds, as he strokes your forehead with a soft touch of his fingers.

Y/N’s heart swooned at Tomura's chuckle and mischievous grin. Visibly melting at the nickname, he giggles. Indulging himself into the other man’s touch and affectionate love he’d always had for Y/N. "How long have you been keeping in that pet name in for, sweetheart?" He asked before pressing his lips to the villain, lips pressing tenderly and slow against Tomura’s chapped ones.

The white haired man groans happily at Y/N’s kiss, enthusiastically moving his lips in sync. "I've been thinking of it for a while..." Tomura chuckles out, gently kissing Y/N again in the same manner. "You know I enjoy giving you nicknames, my sweet healer." He adds. The healer breathes out a chuckle, pressing his lips softly to Tomura's in a longer kiss. Conveying his appreciation and love towards his partner.

"I've missed you so much, Tomura."

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights of any of the characters I write about, all the rights go to their respective creators.

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