#My thoughts on Misa are a lot less solidified. In part because obviously we get less insight into her in the text

[shydroid3000]

OOO for the death note ask game, turning this back on you. 4, 7, and 23, again though you can pick a current favorite moment (lolol. indecision makers 😔😔) or just gimme some general misa thoughts if you’ve got em 👀

4. who’s your favorite underrated or obscure character? Okay, I'm gonna do my best to pick one that isn't too obvious, so: Sidoh! Haha. He's a weird little loser guy of a Shinigami and I love that. When he takes the notebook and touches it to the head of the one mafia guy while saying, "tag, you're it!"... or when he gets freaked out by Mello even though he himself is a literal god of death... I just find it very delightful. He's silly and pathetic in a way that really tickles my fancy lol. (The anime is much fresher in my mind so most of what I refer to will be anime-focussed; can't remember how manga version compares to anime with him). 7. was misa just as guilty as light? Ooh, guilt in relation to Misa and Light is interesting to think about. On the one hand, I do think that they're both culpable for their actions at the end of the day. I have maybe some more grace to extend Misa in terms of her having an understandable reason to go down that path, what with her parents being murdered (and almost being murdered herself). Like, that's a level of trauma that makes you go, 'yeah, I can understand why she was all-in on killing criminals with the death note, even if I don't agree.' Light, on the other hand, had this good, stable, pretty privileged home life, in addition to him being a top student, talented, handsome, etc. He's got less of an excuse, you know? The fact that Misa's drawn to Kira's ideals out of lived trauma, whereas Light is drawn to those ideals largely out of ego is sort of a meaningful distinction. (By ego I don't just mean the belief that he's exceptional, but I mean -- the way he is so desperately driven to protect his conception of himself as a Good Person. That's a tragic and heart-rending manifestation of ego, but it's still about protecting his ego). But I also think there's 'guilt' on the level of the actions and choices you make regardless of motivations, and I'd see them as more equal on that front. Misa was an enthusiastic DN user and participant in Kira's plans/ideology. She's motivated by different things than he is, but she makes her choices knowingly. I think it would be diminishing of her agency and complexity to say that she's less responsible for her actions than Light is, if that makes sense. (Also, there are things Misa is guilty of that Light isn't, and vice versa. E.g., Misa pushes Light's boundaries in a way that can be very uncomfortable; Light uses Misa/others without real regard for them).

Now, beyond all that... the question is obviously about their culpability for their use of the DN. But it also makes me think about each of their *experiences* of guilt internally, and that might be even more interesting to me. I think that their relationship to guilt is one of the things that makes them so divergent from one another. Because... running away from guilt is such a huge part of what propels Light to go all out with the Kira thing. So much of his psyche is shaped around that black pit of guilt where whispers of "I did a bad thing. If I did a bad thing I'm not a good person" come from. He diligently tries to cover over that and barricade it off. He crafts an ideology that makes his murders righteous, and commits to making a New World(tm) where the meaning of 'good/right' is reshaped around that. He makes himself a God so that his actions are beyond judgment, or at least he is, because his murders are divine - they're acts of creation, even of love and self-sacrifice. And then Misa... well, guilt doesn't seem to be as obvious a factor for her, whether as motivation or reaction. I mean, I could imagine a reading where there's some well of underlying guilt about the death of her parents and her survival -- I think that would make sense given the circumstances. But... we never actually see that kind of Bruce Wayne -esque psychology peeking through, so that feels more like headcanon territory than direct analysis. Obviously she has deep feelings about the murder of her parents, but she has a very different relationship to guilt than Light. She usually comes across as very free from guilt. She knows what she wants and what her priorities are, and she pursues those without shame. She's impressed by Kira so she becomes the second Kira; she decides she loves Light and wants to be with him regardless of whether he even likes her, so she pursues that undeterred by his response to her. It feels like Misa is always calmly pushing forward toward what she wants, whereas Light's sprint forward towards his New World is really a running-away-from. But at the same time... what kind of underlying emptiness would make someone so completely devotional in the way Misa is, wanting to devote themselves to someone who mostly loathes them, to the point of not even seeming to be hurt by that person's disdain for them as long as they can still have that person in their life? I think there's definitely beneath-the-surface stuff with Misa, but it comes across like guilt is a colour that just doesn't exist in her world. Whereas with Light, every shadow in his world is the colour of guilt. If goodness or righteousness are the rays of the sun, Light Yagami is the moon that reflects the sunlight while trying to create a reality in which those rays are his -- are him -- a reality in which he becomes the sun. And yet he's a moon, and the dark side of it that he disavows is guilt, is 'I did a bad thing', is 'what if I'm not a good boy?' (Wow, went overboard with the metaphors there but too lazy to edit lol). 23. what was your favorite moment and why? Ah, this is hard (guess it's my fault for asking you this one first haha). I'll try to pick 1 or 2 more serious moments and 1 or 2 silly ones lol. So, serious ones:

The warehouse/Light's downfall. Specifically the laughter, if I had to pick a moment. Excellent scene in both the manga and anime, but MY GOD I will never get over the sound of his laugh in the anime. I think about it every day. (Also looove the lip-twitching as he barely contains his deranged glee leading up to his "I win"). I also really like his death in both; his fear, being reduced back down to his humanity, in the most pathetic way. But the laugh moment wins out for me; the way everything that has been pent up, repressed, held back, filtered, pruned is just... unleashed. He's finally showing his real human emotion to other people in this unrestrained way, but it's so twisted as to be monstrous.

Also, the moment when L says Light is his first real friend. I know that Ohba said L is lying in that moment, but my own analytical framework doesn't prioritize authorial intention above all else. And I think there is so much complexity and richness in that moment. I don't think L is lying, but he is manipulating. And obviously even the truth within the statement is a complicated one. But I can't help but see a genuine sort of sweetness in there in that moment, amidst the mind games and adversarial context. Light and Ryuk's reactions in that moment are so excellent too. It feels like a moment where the world stops spinning, just for a microsecond. A moment where some alternate reality almost touches this one.

Silly ones (time for my sweet Matsuda to shine lol):

When L and Light are fighting during the 'date' with Misa and Matsuda calls the room to break it up, telling L some news about Misa's popularity. Then after L hangs up he's like, "Matsuda's acting stupid again." And Light is like, "well, that is his speciality." (The fact that belittling Matsuda actually does diffuse their fight LOL). And Matsuda is on the other end, his face dropping, like, "do they know we can hear them..?" haha. Just a perfect Matsuda/Light/L moment.

OBVIOUSLY the whole mattress gambit too lol

In the anime, when L reveals to the task force that he's actually all three of the world's top detectives, he says something like, "here, I'll give you this strawberry for keeping my secret." And then he holds out the strawberry he plucked from his cake and Mogi kind of vacantly takes it and puts it in his pocket LOL

Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry it took me ages to respond. It was half-done for a while but I wanted to add more thoughts to the second section and just got around to that lol.

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