#managed to take her outside to pee at least

[usodeshou]

My dog is having the worst night of her life (or at least the worst since last year's New Year's Eve)

[imsuperhungry]

change.

"𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙨𝙩"

packing was bullshit, and if you say you like doing it, you're lying to yourself

he exhaustion sets in fast when you're constantly using all your strength to break down large items like shelves or a lamp just to fit them in a suitcase. And don't even get me started on how tired your arms get after folding clothes for hours, only to realize they won't all fit. Now you're stuck rearranging everything to make more room.

You glance down at the suitcase after cramming everything in, disorganized and messy. One way or another, you were determined to make it all fit. With an irritated sigh, you lift your head to scan the room, only to realize, with a sinking feeling, that you're nowhere near finished—despite having been at it for at least three hours.

.. okay well maybe it's been 30 minutes, but you get the point

You break down in frustration, briefly contemplating if a bullet might be your next piercing. But after taking a deep breath, you decide to flop face down on your bare mattress. You needed a break; you felt like you were losing your mind.

After a stretch of silence, you turn your head and pull out your phone to check the time. It's barely noon, meaning you still have hours before you need to finish packing.

with a small smile, you decide to take a much well-earned nap...

..

Do all airports fucking smell awful, or is that just a Texas thing? Probably the latter. But whatever—at least you managed to get some sleep. After a day of packing, you were drained, so as soon as you sat down, you grabbed your blanket and dozed off in the hard, plastic airport chair.

You likely would have slept longer if not for the hand shaking you awake so roughly. When you open your eyes, your gaze drops to the hand, and you instantly recognize the chipped black nail polish and those pale fingers.

"Come to the bathroom with me real quick; I'm not going alone," she said. Given the dreadful male-to-female ratio here, it made sense. There were fewer than seven girls and at least fifty men. Maybe that explains the awful smell...

"Nicole..." you whine, it would be as soon as you get the chance to sleep, you're forced to get up.

"Come on, you can sleep after, I need to pee." She says as she yanks you up out the chair, making you nearly fall. 

With a grumble, you straighten up and adjust the pink, fluffy blanket you've wrapped around yourself. If you're being dragged up, you're at least going to be warm.

Nicole quickly started practically dragging you through the airport while you were still trying to wake up. Honestly, if she hadn't been pulling you along, you would likely have been bumping into everything, as your eyes felt heavy and your vision was a bit blurred.

After a few seconds, you both finally reach the bathroom. You decide to wait outside the stall where Nicole has gone in, unsure of what else to do. While you wait, you pull out your phone to check the time.

2:09 am...

You decide to stay awake since Nicole is up and likely has plans, meaning she probably won't let you sleep. It's okay, though—your flight is in two hours, and you can catch up on sleep then. You start stretching to help wake yourself up, as the uncomfortable chairs have left your back feeling sore.

Once you were done, you broke the silence by asking, "Are you ready for Virginia?" while letting out a yawn.

"I don't really have a choice but to be," she replies, her tone tinged with annoyance about the move, and understandably so.

Nicole was always on the move, but she had hoped to settle in Texas for a while. Recently, however, she, her mom, and her brother were forced to relocate because her brother had downloaded illegal content.

You recall how desperate she sounded, almost begging you to come with her—she'd never sounded that vulnerable in the two years you've known her. Although she wouldn't admit it, she's grown very fond of you, and she'd be devastated if she had to leave her only genuine friend behind because of her brother's mistake.

You two met during your freshman year of high school and became inseparable within a month. Your many similarities helped forge a close bond between you. Nicole appreciated you because you weren't boring and were always there for her. Whether she was sneaking off to get high or pulling other stunts, you'd cover for her and tell her mom she was with you. She'll always be grateful for that.

Before this move, Nicole wasn't a "bad" person; she was just trying to figure things out. She had a lot of friends and was considered one of the "popular girls," just like you. You balanced each other out—she was black and you were pink, with your lightness contrasting her darkness. You truly bonded when you opened up to her and shared your deepest feelings.

You were both at her house, high out of your minds. With her mom away for a few days, it was just the two of you and her brother at home. You sat on the floor with your head resting in her lap, and she absentmindedly ran her fingers through your hair. As the conversation shifted from gossip about the pregnant girl in your shared chemistry class, it eventually veered into your own deep-seated mental struggles.

When weed hits your system, you tend to get chatty, and Nicole seemed like the perfect person to unload on. So, you shared every traumatic experience from your life with her—your past suicide attempts, your ex-boyfriend cheating on you with your friends, your struggles with drug abuse, your father's poor behavior, and much more.

Nicole listened intently to every word that night. She liked you—thought you were pretty, funny, and a perfect match for her. What's not to like? Although she'd had her own struggles, she found your situation a bit more intense than hers, and she appreciated that. It wasn't that she enjoyed seeing you in pain; she hated that. Instead, she valued knowing that someone truly understood her. You weren't just someone saying, "I get your pain"—you were as messed up as she was.

Over time, your mom had given Nicole a key to your house, and she practically lived there. You two were inseparable. If she skipped class, you were right there with her. If you wanted to go out to eat, she suddenly became hungry too. And if she needed to use the bathroom, you were there waiting for her, which is how you ended up in your current situation.

Eventually, the toilet flushed with a final whoosh, and the door swung open. As Nicole washed up, you occupied yourself by scrolling through your messages, your thumb moving swiftly over the screen as you replied to old texts from friends. Nicole brushed past you, heading for the towels, her footsteps light on the bathroom tiles. You slipped your phone into your pocket and settled back, waiting for her to finish.

"you wanna get something to eat?"

[theminecraftbee]

can I say. puppies are so much work guys. like they’re so much work, do not underestimate the amount you have to basically drop everything else in your life to take care of a puppy. my sleep schedule has been completely changed. puppies basically can’t be left alone until they’re used to being in a crate alone so I have always been within a handful of feet of dog unless my husband is home. she is ONLY JUST getting good at “don’t pee in the house” and “don’t nip your people when you’re trying to play I know that’s okay with other dogs but I’m not a dog”. she keeps trying to steal my shoelaces. I have to keep standing in the rain asking her to go instead of eating grass. she abuses her “tell second I need to go outside” privileges. she makes focusing during meetings hard. as mentioned, she can’t go down stairs yet so I haven’t spent much time in my office and I miss it. my fear of “puppy manages to find a wire I haven’t gotten out of reach and electrocutes herself” is always at least at a three which plays interestingly with my anxiety.

however. she also. when she naps. she likes to nap at my feet. sometimes on my feet. or in my lap. or leaning against me. and she is soft and warm. and she kisses my face. and I experience love.

so this is I think a worthwhile trade-off,

[image ID: morgan, curled up at my feet. /end ID]

[compassionatereminders]

Lord. Today has been such a day. I hope it's ok to just rant about it here, if not obviously feel free to delete!!

Got woken up at 1am because my mom needed to go to the ER for excruciating pain. So we load up and I take her. It takes an HOUR for them to even pay her any mind- and it's not because it was busy. We live in a small town, and there was literally nobody there waiting to be seen. We think they were ignoring her because she looked like she was having drug withdrawals (shaking, pale, she couldn't stop moving/fidgeting). They only came out to see her when I brought my little brother in, and they realized that she wasn't just there to try and get meds from the hospital (this is all speculation ofc, but I really can't imagine any other reason that 'nobody saw her'). I'm still so mad because she sat there for so long, crying in pain (my mom NEVER cries, so that's how I could tell it was really bad) and nobody even bothered to check on her for over an hour. It took another hour for her to get any pain relief and while the nurses were all really nice, I'm still incredibly upset that she had to endure it for so long.

Anyways. Mom's going to be fine, she's getting flown to a better hospital a couple hours away to get the problem dealt with. That's all good. I'm staying home with my brother, and my aunt is going to pick her up later today (hopefully; it might take a few more days). The only issue is that I'll need to meet with my little brothers father (not my dad) to drop him off for the weekend, and I hate the guy, but I can easily ignore him so it's fine.

I think it's the stress of coordinating 4 different people's schedules that put me so on edge (my aunt needs to know when my mom is leaving, my sister is coming 1400 miles to Nevada from Texas, my little brother needs to do his homework/get ready to go/be dropped off). Family keeps calling me because I'm the one who lives with my mom, but I don't have any updates, because I'm home looking after my brother. I feel terrible that I can't tell them anything else, but it's still frustrating when I'm trying to get the house cleaned up, take care of a worried 7-year-old, and answer calls just to repeat the same thing.

The final straw though was one of my cats. When my brother and I finally got home around 8am, we were having breakfast. I look over, and my cat is peeing on my moms lunchbox. I freaked out, because that's disgusting, and he had NO reason to do that- their box is perfectly clean, he's not a serial pee monster, he's never been in competition with the other cats. I don't understand why today, of all days, he would choose to make a mess.

I've spent the past hour and a half trying to clean it by hand because I can't just throw it in the washing machine (it has a cloth outside, but its not removable). He ALSO managed to pee on my brother's homework tower (a short, plastic 'filing cabinet' with drawers we keep his stuff in), and of course, it got inside some of the drawers. Luckily the only stuff I had to throw away was some construction paper and white printer paper, and the rest was untouched, but I still had to clean up a MASSIVE puddle of cat pee on the floor, and empty + wipe out four of the drawers.

So. Anyways. I'm not feeling solution-oriented right now, I'm just really angry that this is all happening at once and there's not really anything within my control besides making sure my brother keeps to his schedule. At least he's not too worried, but I've kind of been avoiding talking to him at the moment because I feel like I might snap at him when it's not his fault at all. I'm also avoiding the cat because, while I would never hurt an animal for doing something dumb, I'm still so mad about it. I'd much rather he'd have peed on something of mine.

Now I just feel super on edge, and I keep waiting for ANOTHER bad thing to happen, because at this point it just feels like the universe is out for blood. It's not even noon yet. It's barely 10am

I'm so sorry about all of this. Anti addict ableism is completely unacceptable and literally kills people. It's not like an addict can't ALSO be in excruciating pain/genuinely need urgent care. I'm glad your mom will be okay, but it makes me furious that she was neglected for hours because of prejudices against a potential addiction. And I completely understand that you're not in a good place right now. I'm sorry about the pee situation also, though it's important for me to note that the cat didn't CHOOSE to "make a mess" just to bother you - either he was a bit ill or it was simply an unfortunate accident.

[millersdjarin]

Some Invisible String

Chapter III: Your Smile, My Ghost

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (afab)

Rating: E (eventually)

Summary: Ten years after Reader left Joel for reasons he still doesn't know, they find themselves together again in a town called Jackson. Joel has questions he's too afraid to ask; and Reader dreads having to give the answers.

Chapter length: 3.4k

Warnings/Tags: injury recovery, light angst

notes: hello, hope u enjoy! love and appreciate you <3

I’m starting to think that opting to look after myself wasn’t the best idea. 

I have to pee. Like, really badly. But every time I try to get up my leg just hurts so damn much. The bathroom is across the hall, and it’s cold outside of my bed, and I’m hungry and thirsty with no way of asking for any help, because no one’s around. At least, not anyone that I feel comfortable enough to say Hey, I have to pee, can you help me to the bathroom? to.

A part of me thinks how horrific this would be if I didn’t have anyone to fall back on for help. But it’s kind of irrelevant, because if I didn’t, I’d already be dead. So.

Angela catches me in a moment of shame as I try and fail to hobble out of the room. One of my crutches clatters to the ground and I can’t fucking get it because that entire side of my body hurts, and if I lean down, I think I’m going to pass out from it. 

Angela rushes towards me and grabs it for me. “Here,” she says. “Why are you up?” 

“I…bathroom,” I answer. 

She nods and puts her arm around my shoulders to help me through the hall. “Still in a lot of pain, then?” 

“Yeah.” We save painkillers until night time, so it helps me get some sleep. In the day, the pain has full rein over me.

When I’m done peeing, she takes me back to my room and sits me down on the bed. “Have you eaten?” 

“No.” 

“I’ll get you some food,” she looks at the night stand and sees the three empty glasses of water. “Water, too.” 

“Thank you.” I’m out of breath. Everything hurts, and I’m so weak that I feel like a stranger in my own body. 

“The worst of it should pass soon,” Angela assures me. “It’s only been a few days. The bruising was pretty significant. Once that starts to heal, you’ll be on the up.” 

I nod, though it’s hard to imagine ever being out of pain again. 

Angela hesitates. Then, “Are you sure you’re okay to stay here? I can take you back to my office if it’s easier for you, or I know Joel or Tommy would still be happy to have you until you’re back on your feet…” 

Closing my eyes, I sigh, leaning on one of the crutches’ handles. I don’t want to admit defeat and accept help. I want to know that I can survive on my own. I need to know that. 

But I can’t. If I ever want to survive on my own again, I need to recover quickly. And to do that, I can’t be alone right now. 

“You think they’d still be up for it?” I ask, keeping my eyes shut because I’m just so embarrassed by the whole thing. 

“Honey, Joel asks me about it every damn day. Damn near got angry with me when I told him you seemed happy here,” she chuckles. “You want me to ask Joel, or Tommy?” 

“Joel,” I sigh, reluctant. “Joel. Please.” 

Angela nods, clearly pleased that I’ve finally decided to accept help. “I’ll bring you some food. Then I’m sure Joel and Ellie will be over.” 

By night time, they’ve got me all set up in their living room. 

I can’t manage the stairs to the guest bedroom, so I sit on the armchair while Joel and Ellie set up a bed for me on the couch. Ellie bolsters it with extra pillows from the sofa in the garage, and spreads a clean sheet out over the cushions. Joel hands her a duvet that is probably the cleanest duvet I’ve seen since the outbreak and she spreads it out on top of her work, then finishes it with several pillows.

“Ta-da,” Ellie says, presenting it with her hand and a smile. “I hope it’s comfortable. Joel’s fallen asleep on it a few times by now, but that could just be ’cause he’s old.” 

Joel ignores her teasing, coming in with hot mugs of tea. 

In all the experiences I had with Joel a decade ago, I’ve never experienced something quite so…normal. So pre-outbreak. In this moment, he’s just a guy welcoming a guest to his house for the night with some tea and a nice, comforting fire in the fireplace. His shirt is dark green and washed well, not a drop of blood and barely a speck of dirt on the fabric. His hair looks a little long still, but neat, like he’s brushed it or even trimmed it, and his beard is the best I’ve seen it look since I got here. 

“Hope you like chamomile,” Joel says wryly as he puts the mugs down on the coffee table. It’s just so fucking weird to see this. I love it. 

“I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to see the menu first,” I retort. 

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll be sure to mention your complaint to the manager.” 

Ellie plops down on the end of the sofa she’s made up for me and grabs one of the mugs. “Do you mind if I sit here for a bit?” 

“You can lie down if you need,” Joel offers me, handing me the second mug. Steam billows up into my face. I haven’t smelled herbal tea in a long time. 

“I’m alright,” I smile, finding that I mean it. It’s warmer here than it was at the inn. The fire casts such a warm glow throughout the room, combined with the few table lamps that they’ve got scattered about the place. The living room is attached to the kitchen with an arch, the back window looking out at other houses beyond, all lit up with dim orange lights. I’ve not seen anything like this before. 

“I’m glad you decided to stay with us,” Ellie says. “The inn’s nice, and all, but this is better.” 

“Are you hungry?” Joel asks. 

I shake my head. 

“You need anythin’?” 

His concern is comforting and jarring all at once. After what I did to him and Tommy, after just up and leaving in the middle of the night, I’d expected him to hate me. To be angry at me. To at least have questions for me before telling me he’d moved on, from it and from me. “I’m…actually good,” I answer. “Thank you. For letting me stay.” 

Joel nods. He sits on the armchair next to mine, his legs spread with his elbows resting on them. His hands wring together, all callouses and bruises. Still I want to run my fingers over each bruise, each scar. Just like before. Nothing has changed. 

I thought leaving would make it better.

He leans forward, wordless, and picks up his mug. 

For a while, we just drink in silence. It’s nice, but something is hanging in the air that I don’t know what to do with.

“Ellie,” Joel’s voice comes up into the quiet, surprising me. “You mind givin’ us a minute?” 

Ellie looks between us once, then gets up. “I’ll be in my room.” 

Once she’s up the stairs, I look to Joel, a little wide-eyed. His leg is bouncing up and down a little, and I know that means that he wants to say something but isn’t sure how. 

“Out with it,” I say softly. 

A sad smile twitches at the corner of his lips closest to me. The firelight flickers golden against his skin, makes his beard look all the one colour. “Always did know how to read me,” he says to the floor. 

I gulp. My mouth is dry, so I take a sip of tea. God, it’s so nice. He still doesn’t say anything, though. “Joel,” I say, “I understand if you’re…angry at me. I mean—whatever you feel about me, it’s okay. I understand. I screwed you over back then, and I…” I fade off when Joel starts to shake his head. 

“You don’t know what I feel,” he says. Stares down at his mug.

He’s right. 

“No,” I say, “I don’t.” And I don’t expect him to tell me. 

Silence lingers on for another few minutes. I think about taking another sip of tea, about shifting in my seat or even trying to say something into the quiet. But it’s all I can do to stare at him, to take in the side profile of his face, his presence, things I never thought I’d see or feel again. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asks then, unexpectedly. 

“Why’d I do what?” 

His eyes haven’t moved from his tea. “Why’d you leave?” 

Heavily, I swallow. Thinking of the letter, of my smudged handwriting, the way my hands shook. The way I hesitated before I tossed it into the fire. The way I looked at Joel’s sleeping form before taking off, second guessing my decision for just that split second. My heart had ached at the sight of him, and that’s how I knew I needed to go. 

Because, during the apocalypse, you can’t afford to fall in love. 

I thought it was safer, back then, to not tell him why. There was a tiny chance that he felt the same, and if he did, he might have tried to come after me. And the worst part was: I wanted him to. 

“Do you really want to know?” I ask. Because, if he does, I’ll tell him the truth. He deserves that. After all this time, he deserves that. 

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.” 

Okay. 

Okay. 

This is fine. 

Staring down at my own mug now, I exhale, trying not to shake. “You know that in times like these, caring for someone is what gets you killed,” I start. "Especially the way we lived back then."

“I…guess.” 

“You don’t agree?” 

“I…it’s complicated.”

Great. Because we all need it more complicated. “Ellie told me about Tess,” I say, not really sure why that’s the direction I’m going in. 

He freezes. “Why are you bringing that up?” 

“Because you know. You know that caring about someone is dangerous.” 

“How the hell is Tess relevant? I’m asking about why you left me. Years before Tess. Years before any of this.” He’s getting frustrated, and he turns his head towards me, just about meeting my eyes. The fire is reflected in his. “She ain’t the only one I’ve ever cared about since this shit started.” 

“I know. You’ve got Tommy. Ellie now.…” 

“That’s not who I meant.” 

I swallow again, forcing back the nervous tears. “Well. I…Joel…” 

“Just tell me,” he growls. “Please, just tell me. It ain’t bad enough that I’ve been wonderin’ for all these years, that when you didn’t come back I thought you were dead and all this time I assumed—”

“I had feelings for you,” I blurt out. He freezes again, this time with his eyes on me, staring with his head tilted slightly towards me. His body still faces the rest of the room, but it feels like he’s closer to me, like he’s all I can feel around me. 

“What?” 

My breaths are trembling. “I had feelings for you. There. See? You see now why I had to leave?” 

“I…no,” he frowns. “No, I don’t.” 

My eyebrows raise, incredulous. “It was dangerous, Joel! You always used to say that you had to keep your distance from people. We used to say that. I know you know what I’m talking about. I know you, Joel, or at least I used to. Having people close isn’t—isn’t something that feels safe. For either of us. And feelings like that? They’re impossible to get away from. I couldn’t take the risk that it’d put us—you—in danger.” 

He looks away, and I wish he wouldn’t. 

I just stare at him. Breathless. Wishing I had something more coherent to say. “Joel…” my voice comes out quieter than I’d thought it would. “I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to protect you. I didn’t want to put any of us in danger, and I…didn’t want you to be in the position where you felt you had to reject me. Things didn’t need to be any more complicated than they already were.” 

“Reject you,” he mutters, right under his breath, like he’s saying it to himself. 

“You can understand that,” I plead, “right?” I don’t know why I feel like begging for his forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I don’t even know if I want it from him. It’s easier to believe that he’s angry, bitter. That he just wants to see the back of me once this is all over. 

But I’m sitting in his living room under a blanket that he draped over my lap, holding a mug of tea that he made for me. It’s so clear in every moment I’m here that he doesn’t hate me, and that makes this harder. If he doesn’t hate me, then it means he could…that he could feel…

He stands up. I scramble for something to say to get him to stay. 

“Joel,” I say, “Joel, you wanted to know the truth. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t want to make things weird—”

He holds up a hand. I stop talking. “Just…” he says, “just…give me some time. I just…let me think.” 

I can’t tell him no. 

The stairs creak. We both look up at the same time and find Ellie standing at the top of them, a question on her face. 

“Sorry,” she says, “I just…I needed something from the kitchen. I’ll just…” she starts to turn around, but Joel stops her. 

“No, it’s alright. Come on down. We were just headed to bed.”

Oh. 

Ellie cautiously comes downstairs, standing in the room entrance like she knows she’s interrupted something. 

“It’s alright,” I offer her a smile. I know when Joel is done talking. “We were finished. I’m real tired, and I’ve put you guys out enough tonight.” 

“You haven’t,” Ellie says and relaxes, heading into the kitchen. 

Joel heads towards the stairs. I half expect him to turn back to me, to at least mutter a Goodnight. But he doesn’t.

Somehow, I feel like I’ve fucked things up even more than I already had. Reopening old wounds and making new ones. Maybe even embarrassing myself at the same time by telling Joel the real truth. 

Great. 

Fuck. 

-

The next morning, I wake as the sun rises. 

The curtains in the living room are thin, so the sun shines through them in long, orange beams, casting a spotlight on the dust in the air. I’m comfortable, warm. I'm not in too much pain for once. For a moment, I just bask in all of that. I’m lying in a house that doesn’t have boarded up windows, and I feel safe. 

Footsteps on the stairs gently pull me from my thoughts. I turn my head and see Joel at the bottom of them, wearing pyjamas. Fucking pyjamas. I have never seen that before in my life and, God, it’s a lot to take in. Checked, dark blue sweatpants and an old black T-shirt, showing the expanse of his arms. I don’t know how he isn’t cold, but I’m grateful. 

The look on my face must make him think he woke me. “Sorry,” he mutters, “these damn stairs are always creakin’. You can go back to sleep, I’ll tell Ellie to be quiet.” 

I shake my head. “I was already awake.” 

He offers a smile. It’s genuine, but awkward. Then he walks into the kitchen, and it’s all I can do to watch him. A part of me expects him to say something, to bring up our conversation last night, to bring up anything, actually. Even a conversation about the weather would be enough. 

But instead, he’s quiet. Brooding, more accurately. 

And I don’t feel that I can say anything. He said he needed time to think. 

So I give him it. 

For four agonising days, I give him it. 

He still talks to me, still looks after me with the help of Ellie; brings me food, blankets, sits and reads beside me in silence while I drift in and out of sleep. I wish I could reach out to him, take his hand, get him to hold me. It feels selfish to want those things, knowing that he’s still thinking about our conversation. 

Or, at least, I assume he is. I hope he is. As much as it’s a conversation I never thought I’d have with him, we did have it, and it felt like it wasn’t quite finished. 

But, I consider myself lucky beyond belief that he’s still talking to me at all. 

It’s at the beginning of day five, when I’m finally moving around more, able to go to the bathroom myself and get myself a glass of water, that I decide I’m going to bring it up. I’ll broach the topic gently, give him every chance to tell me he’s not ready. 

I thought that being still and stuck on the couch was bad for making me paranoid about what he could be thinking. Somehow, though, it’s worse now that I’m back on my feet. 

Joel comes to me that morning when I’m pulling on a fresh pair of socks. (A fucking luxury.) He stands in front of my couch, his hands on his hips, not quite meeting my eyes. 

“You alright?” I ask him. 

There’s a look on his face that could be concerned or thoughtful, I’m not entirely sure. “You feelin’ up to a ride?” 

God, yes. “Like, on patrol?” I feel the dull ache of my leg, and debate whether I’m able to do patrols yet. I’d try it. I just want to feel helpful. 

“No, nothing like that,” Joel answers, silencing my thoughts. “Just wondered if you wanted to go for a ride. You know, for fun.” 

“Oh,” I say. I don’t know why I’m dumbstruck. “Yeah. I—I’d like that.” 

He nods and rubs at his beard again. (I wish he’d stop doing that. It drives me fucking crazy, imagining my own hands slipping through those short hairs, running up the sides of his face and into his hair.…) “I thought we could talk. Once we’re out there.” 

“…Okay,” my heart does a little leap in my chest. I gulp down my nerves. “I’ll be ready in ten.” 

“You let me know if you need help,” he offers. “I’ll come by with Felix.” Felix is the horse he’s taken a liking to the most here in town. I’ve not met him yet, but Joel and Ellie talk about him a lot. 

“I can come to the stables,” I offer, even though walking any further than around the house is still a struggle. 

He shakes his head, knowing this. “I’ll come by. Take your time.” And he’s out the door. 

I know I said I was ready to talk—hell, I was going to initiate it—but it just got very real, very fast. I try not to let my mind race as I get ready; try not to imagine all the ways he could say Thanks, but I don’t feel the same about you, and so it was kinda pointless for you to leave in the first place. 

Ten minutes later, I’ve managed to wrap myself up in some good winter gear: boots, a thick coat, scarf, hat, and some cosy gloves. My leg is still bandaged up beneath my pants, but it feels secure now rather than just painful to have something pressing against it. The jeans Maria gave me are a few sizes too big, so that they don’t press against the wound; I’m wearing one of Joel’s belts to keep them up. 

He’s waiting at the stoop with Felix when I get out there, standing beside him with a hand on his neck. 

“Stay on the step, I’ll give you a hand up,” he says. Felix has his side facing me, the stirrup ready for my good leg to fit into. 

It takes a bit of struggling, a bit of grunting as pain shoots up and down me, but soon I’m up and sitting behind Joel. 

“Hold on to me,” Joel instructs, soft, as he gathers the reins in one hand. 

I do. It might be my only chance, so I do. 

{chapter 3/5}

Chapter Two (Previous)

Series Masterlist

notes: thank u for reading! all interactions are always appreciated but comments and reblogs especially make my lil heart go brrrr <3 take care of yourself, it is the most important thing!

ps: some WIP fics i've got in my docs at the moment are actually written in second person instead of first like this one, i'd love to know your opinion on first vs second in reader-insert fics? also pls come and scream about the tlou show with me i have many feelings

[taglist: @rosymythologies @lover1307 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @pinkrose1422 @lavenderhhze @abbyhaslongshortsgshorts @trippoverrt @emilianamason]

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

Just for the Weekend 7/10

Summary: Jason and yourself have a quiet morning to get ready.

Reader x Jason Todd

W/C: 2.2k

Warnings: 18+, Fluff, tension, pining, brothers who only call to cause trouble, swearing, Jason is so touch starved.

Part 6

You wake up feeling like a baby swaddled in a cozy blanket. Is this the Malibu air? You reach to try and stretch only to find that you can't move your arms or legs. Blinking your eyes for just a second you wince at the morning sun before wiggling again.

"Stop moving," a deep voice behind you grumbles, arms tighten around you, holding you close to his chest.

"Jason," your voice still hoarse from sleep, "I gotta pee, let me up,"

"2 more minutes," his lips connect with your neck and you feel a shiver all over your body, "stop squirming,"

"But I gotta pee!" You say louder, shit you need to get away before you fall under whatever sleepy dream spell has him in its clutches.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," he says, finally waking up and letting you go, "I didn't mean to. I didn't-"

"Thank God," you bolt up making a beeline for the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. Your heart rings in your ears, heat all over your body, fucking hell. You didn't want to get up, but 2 more seconds in that bed and you'd never want to leave.

Outside the bathroom Jason is having a similar feeling. He'd woken up long before you, much more used to long nights and existing on minimal sleep. It was a welcome change not to go to bed at sunrise. He’d awoken to you kicking down the pillow wall, soft little snores falling from your lips and your cute ass snuggling into him. He knew he should wake you or at the very least push you away, but he just wanted to enjoy the cuddle. It has been so long since he's had anyone who even wanted to cuddle him, well aside from Roy, but that was always after a mission, followed by the very casual sex they sometimes enjoyed and Roy was always the big spoon. But to just cuddle, with no expectation of more, to have someone so much smaller than him wrapped safely under his arms. To have you here, after such a wonderful day yesterday, he feels like he's won the jackpot and now he worries he might have blown it.

Rolling over he peers at his phone : 1 new message

Dick- if Jonathon tries anything, kill him.

Jason- She hit him in the face.

Dick- what? Wow must've been bad. Where were you? Aren't you supposed to be her date? Is she ok?

Jason- Bathroom, I was gone a minute. She’s fine, just got a sore hand from his head. It’s probably full of rocks. I was impressed at how fast he fell.

Dick- convenient. If she doesn't come home in one piece I'm sending Dami after you.

Jason- why is she wearing my shirt to bed?

Dick- ummm…. She likes it?

Jason- did you steal my shirt?

Dick- are you mad about it? Want to talk through your feelings?

Jason- no.

Dick- you're welcome 😘

"Fucking asshole," he says slamming his phone on side table.

"Talking to Dick?" You ask sitting back against the headboard and checking the time on your phone, making sure you've still got a few hours before you need to start getting ready.

"How could you tell?"

"He brings out that reaction in everyone who loves him,"

"True. Would you like to get some breakfast? Maybe eat outside?"

"Yeah that sounds nice."

XxX

Jason carries the tray of food out onto the balcony, the pair of you sitting much closer than you need to as you share the platter of breakfast goodies.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go for it," you say as you take a sip of your coffee.

"You don't want to tell me what happened with Jonathon, but can you tell me why he's like? I dunno… So mean to you."

You think it over, not really sure where to begin.

"You don't have to, it's just… he really seemed to have it out for you,"

"It's ok. It's just a long story. But the short of it is, I dumped him and he didn't like that."

"And the long story?"

The long story. Should you tell Jason about the worst time of your life? You’ve done all the therapy and managed to move past most of it, cutting out your toxic ass family really did the most help. But does Jason really want to know? Is he going to think you’re just another spoiled little rich girl who threw away every opportunity that her privilege offered? Dick didn’t. The voice in your head reminds you, and something tells you that maybe Jason just wants to get to know you better, understand you just a little more. And when he asks you like that? With a blueberry muffin half shoved in his mouth and crumbs on his chest, how are you supposed to deny him anything?

"You know who my father is right?" you start, putting your coffee down, knowing how animated you can get when you tell this story.

"Some big bank guy?"

"Yeah, so my dad basically set me up with him when I was at MetU,"

"You went to college in Metropolis?"

"Yeah, anyway. So my dad set us up. We were going to be the next big power couple. I wasn’t really sold on the idea, but Jonathan was really nice at the start. Attentive even. But then after a while he started to get more possessive, controlling. Tried telling me that my English degree would be great when I was his little wife," the thought makes you cringe and to your surprise Jason takes your hand, his thumb rubbing gentle reassuring circles on the inside of your palm, "I knew I needed to leave but the ramifications of that… I might lose my dad's money. I’d never supported myself before, I had no idea how I was going to pay for college on my own. How was I going to do anything? So I applied for every scholarship I could get my hands on. Meanwhile Jonathan was getting worse, like he could see I was trying to find a way out. He started spreading rumors, lying to try and trap me with him. So I ran," as the tears begin to fall from your face, Jason surprises you again, moving from his seat, lifting you up and sitting you on his lap.

"Is this better?" his voice is gentle as he wipes some of the tears from your cheek. He knows how hard talking about these kinds of things can be. If it wasn't for the very aggressive hugs that Bruce and Dick used to force on him, he doesn't think he'd ever have had the courage to talk about things with anyone.

"Yeah," you lean back into him, not quite sure what compelled him to do so. But his huge arms cuddle around, you feel yourself relax a little. This is the past and you're safe now, his touch reminds you. Safe with him. Your heart thumps and you try to squash the thought away, but he’s still looking at you like that, his hand still lingering on your face.

"You can stop if you like,"

"No, it's ok.” you take a sip of coffee to try and distract yourself, “Where was I?”

“Jonathan was being a possessive, condescending asshole,”

“Oh yeah. So I realized that the longer I stayed the more trapped I was going to be. So, I ran. Ran to the one place I knew that he wouldn't look for me. Bludhaven, and instead of hiding I was found.” you recall the dingy hotel you had hidden in that would let you stay for a week while you got a plan in order, it was dirty and small, but it was safe. “He showed up in a suit and tie, with a bag of clothes to tell me that I have received the Wayne foundation scholarship for Gotham university."

"Dick,"

"No actually, it was Alfred. He helped me get back on my feet and when I went to the party to celebrate the scholarship winner and that's where I met Dick." you smile at the thought, it was the end of the worst part of your life.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry you went through that," he says, brushing the tears from your eyes, his hand resting in your hair.

You feel your heart flutter at his words, it sounds like he is actually sorry, like if he could he would fix it for you. You're not sure if it's the sun, the delicious breakfast or maybe just that you want to. Tilting your head down your breath starts to mingle, you whisper, "can I kiss you?" your nose brushes his, your lips only seconds away.

"No, Love. Not like this." he holds your face, keeping the trace of distance between you. He hopes you don’t see in his eyes how much he wants to say yes, how the very thought of kissing you is overwhelming him. He’s hardly thought of anything else since he had his lips on your neck this morning. But and it was a big but, he didn’t want your first kiss to be shared after you just spent half an hour crying and telling him about your ex. You deserve more than that and so does he.

"Oh." You move back trying to squirm away to hide your embarrassment. What are you thinking? It was a heat of the moment thing and now he’s going to think you’re an idiot.

"You just told me something very traumatic happened to you. Why don't we just sit here a bit and enjoy the sun?"

"Hmm," you lean back into him. Jason's hand resting on your thigh, yours around his neck as you bask in the light of the morning sun and that gnawing rejection lingers in the back of your head. Fuck, you want to run and hide, but he’s so warm and his arms are so tight around you. You can stomach a bit of embarrassment if this was the consolation prize.

Xx

The morning is easy, you both take turns showering, while the other hides out on the balcony and tries their best not to sneak a peek at the other goods. The looming rejection lingers at the back of your mind. Fuck, you're an idiot. Why would he want to kiss you? You just told him how fucking wrecked you are. Idiot.

"You look beautiful," Jason says when you walk out onto the balcony towards him. The long flowy material of your scarlet dress trailing behind you.

"You scrub up alright yourself." You wink,his hair is as perfect as ever, the curls framing his face like he’s in a painting, the light silver lock falling right over the scar on his brow. You love the light weight, short sleeve red button down clings to his biceps, a slutty amount of buttons undone, giving you a full view of his brilliant chest and a tiny scar you can almost see. A pair of dark grey trousers stretch around his thick thighs and you're sure that if he turned they would be molded around his pretty ass. "Can you help me with this though my hand is still a bit sore," you lie, your hand hasn't hurt since you woke up. But you want to feel his hands on you again, want to get a whiff of the cologne you could smell idling in the bathroom when you went in after him.

"Where's the?" He asks looking at the backless part of your dress, "surely there isn't a zip that's completely invisible"

"Here," you point to your hip, "goes up," you direct him to your bare skin on your side, subtly trying to inhale that fresh forest scent.

You peer up at Jason and he looks like he's about to have an aneurysm, "right, because why not put it there." His fingers graze up your side and you try your best to hide the sparks that light up inside you and the shiver that runs straight into your pussy, "There ya go Love, now give me a twirl," he winks and you oblige him.

You spin, your hair thankfully staying in place as you spin, smiling at how far your skirt fans out. You're knocked from your reverie when a hand grabs your waist, pulling you close to him and his lips connect with yours. He’s like fire and hunger and the blazing sunshine on your face as you kiss. His hand stays firmly on your waist as yours wraps around the opening of his shirt. The world keeps spinning but in the moment it feels like it's turning just around you.

"Jason," you breathe when you finally come up for air. His forehead leans into yours, you kiss him again, not wanting to ever stop. You want to ask him why? How? What? But all you can do is stare into those bright blue eyes and ask for more.

"Sweetheart," he whispers, his hand still holding your face close to his, he kisses you again. Fuck, you taste better than he imagined, he doesn't want to stop. But he can see the questions in his eyes and he’s not sure if he’s ready to answer them yet. "the wedding,"

"Shit, right. We better go," his hand releases you but you're only 3 steps out of the apartment before he grabs your arm and pulls you back for another, "my makeup, Jason."

"Looks perfect,"

"No I mean," you reach up rubbing your lipstick from his lips,

"Leave it. Let's go get these kids married so I can get you alone again."

Part 8

Taglist:

@goblinhobo @bubbles-incorrect-yb @hungry-hungarian @megumisbabymomma @ilikw @gone-batty-fics

[novustrad]

Midnight and those two still aren't home. Mum texted to ask how Penny is. If she actually cared then she can get her ass home to find out. If they come home drunk I will not forgive them

Penny is breathing a bit more normal (for her) and drank a good bit of water, but I can't tell if she can't get down the whole way or can't quite gauge where the water is because she missed a few times despite having a full bowl.

She hasn't eaten anything and won't take any food or treats either directly from me or left close to her so she can get it.

She went outside ok and managed to pee normal enough but was still disoriented and needed coaxing inside. But not as much as before.

She hasn't gone back to her bed and has decided she wants to lay behind the small sofa so we can't see each other. I guess she still wants to hide because she doesn't feel well. I can at least still get to her there if I need to

[maetheartist]

HEAVY VENT WRITING AHEAD, BE WARNED , POTENTIAL TRIGGERING!!!!

Genuine Question, would I be in the wrong for this?

So, my dog, who've I had since the beginning of covid, say, 2020. Was given to me by my father while school was out, she was given to me to help with my isolation and depression I underwent during that time, and she had been with me ever since, her name was Snowy. 4 blissful years was spent with her before she died in my Mom's front yard, most likely due to choking on her 'leash' and exhaustion from the summer heat.

I was asleep during that time, I didn't let her out. My brother (Mike) did, without checking in on her or letting me know.

For background information, I am the youngest in my house, a Hispanic and White household, the step family being white, and my biological side of the family being Hispanic.

Here are what names my family will be labeled as, for the sake of explanation and privacy alike:

Mom, Eldest, head of the house (Mexican)

Mike, Biological Uncle, considered my brother as we were raised together by my mom, 2nd eldest (Mexican)

Me, youngest daughter, youngest one of the house (Hispanic)

Anthony, step-uncle but close enough to be seen as my brother, middle sibling of Jay and Dawlson (White)

Dawlson, step-uncle but close enough to be seen as my brother, youngest sibling of Jay and Anthony (White)

Jay, Stepdad, eldest brother of Dawlson and Anthony, Co-Head of House (White)

And last but not least, my Snowy.

This is my dog. She died a month ago. I'm still mourning.

So, before everything started, we had a situation where Snowy got pregnant on two separate occasions, because we used to keep her, and our other grandma dog, Rosie, In our backyard with our boy dogs. There was an area closed off by a fence and gate, which separated the girls and boys, but they would dig under the fence and crawled underneath to get to my dog Snowy, therefore, pregnancy with pups, twice.

We only leave them in the backyard to go pee and poop, and bring them in to eat and sleep.

And so, My mother began to keep our female dogs, Snowy and Rosie, up in front of our house.

Now, whenever I was at the house and when the girls were outside, Snowy specifically often barked at people who passed by our house, a lot. There was one occasion where she pulled on her chewed up leash too much, and managed to get out of it to chase some kids, and managed to bite one of the little girls. P.S, the kid is fine, it was a little bite and I made sure to tell the mom that my dog had her shots and everything before she called the police.

Snowy did it too much (the barking), and yes, I know.

"Why get mad at the dog? You're her owner, it's not her fault, it's yours!"

I know, but it's not her I was upset at, because that isn't her fault- it's my own, I'm responsible for it, but also, my mom too.

You see, even before the incident and my dog's death- on multiple occasions, I expressed my concerns and worries to my mom, who was the one who started putting her outside in the front yard in the first place, and offered ideas to letting the girls out without keeping them in the front and disturbing people in our neighborhood.

But she would brush it off like it was nothing every time, saying that it was okay, as long as we are watching her in the cameras. (Which is set up on a tv monitor in our living room)

Side note, no, whenever someone, aside from me, would take her outside, they would not watch or pay attention to her.

Important note here, while Snowy is outside, she would wear body collars attached to a lease, seeing as me and my mom don't like standard collars that clip around the neck- she pulls on her leash too much, and with a standard collar, she could and can choke and die.

Everytime Snowy would try and act up in the front yard, bark at someone or try and go after them and I was around, I would immediately get up to go and get her, even before she starts growling.

But my mom would try and stop me every single time I did, and would say shit along the lines, with an annoyed voice:

"Leave her outside, she'll calm down."

"Snowy is just being a brat, ignore her."

"It's fine! We're watching her from the cameras, we won't get in trouble!"

Reminder, she was annoyed every time she said something similar, she would even get pissed off and extremely frustrated whenever I wouldn't listen to her, and bring my dog right back inside.

We would have short, brief arguments about this. My mom is hardheaded and stubborn, and I say this from my personal view on her- she usually thinks she is always in the right, and can and will abuse the fact that because she is the eldest of the house and my mother, she can talk down on me, or 'overrule' me, because I am her daughter and the youngest in the house. Therfore, in her words: she is not my equal, not my friend from school, or on the same ground as me.

I can't raise my voice or yell at her, even when she starts first, even though I am talking calmly.

I can't argue against her, because it is rude and disrespectful.

And even though I am in the right and she is in the wrong, she expects an apology in the end, usually.

If this helps to explain anything, She is Mexican, and is in her mid-thirties.

---

Back to my dog. At some point, Snowy chewed on all of her body collars, and we had no standard collars left, and soon, Mom ended up having to use the leash itself, and tied it around her neck in 3 loops to use as a 'temporary' leash.

I noticed immediately after that whenever she would pull on the leash, it would tighten around her neck, and she would have a hard time breathing. Which is why every time she would start to get riled up by passersbys, I would try and bring her inside as fast as possible, but whenever I took her out- I would patiently sit outside with my dog, regardless of the heat and time, made sure she did her business, chill outside for a bit, hold her when people came by, then bring her in, even when my mom told me otherwise.

I would ignore my mom as much as I could whenever she tried to stop me.

At one point, when my dad came to pick me up from my mom's one day, he saw how she was leashed up in our front yard, and revealed something to me and my mom-

It was illegal to have dogs out in the front yard the way my mom was having Snowy.

I was relieved when my father told me this, and glad all my worries and caution weren't for nothing, and was thinking that this would finally stop my mom from keeping her in the front.

I was wrong.

She ignored a warning once again, and me and my father, even when he would bring it up an ungodly amount of times and I would try to enforce it into her thick skull.

She brushed off my words as backtalk, and my dad's warnings as nothing.

This went on for about a month or more, and again, Snowy got pregnant a 3rd time by our neighbor's dog while she was outside while I was at my dad's. She got pregnant right in the front yard, ON CAMERAS, where my family was supposed to be "Watching her".

Her pregnancy proved to me that nobody was watching her nor paying attention to her while she was outside, even though they claimed to have done so like they had been the past year.

Timeskip.

One day when I was at my mother's house, my dog was taken outside by my brother Mike in say, according to them, the early morning.

I was asleep, nobody informed me my dog was taken outside.

I woke up at some point at 12:30-1:00 in the afternoon, I was talking with my mom, watching our show, and chilling in bed, at one point, I got up to get water from the kitchen, I passed by the living room where Snowy's cage was at- which was where we were keeping her and her remaining 3 puppies. My mom kept a blanket over the cage to prevent the puppies from getting cold, and it was set in such a way where you couldn't see the animals inside unless you lifted it up.

I walked by, thinking my dog was still inside and sleeping with her puppies.

When I went back to the room, my mom got up to do whatever she needed to do, while I remained in bed, watching our show, and eating snacks.

She disappeared for about 30-45 minutes before coming back into the room, looking all serious for some reason.

She walked in, saying my full first name all ominously, brows furrowed and eyes stern, focused on me. Which caused me to stiffen up, looking over to her all confused.

"Que? What's wrong?"

"..."

"Que Paso, Mama? Did I do something wrong?"

"Snowy."

"Why, what about Snowy?"

I ask, concerned as I slid off the bed, put on my shoes, and just about to step into the hallway when she said-

"She was outside, and I guess she choked."

I froze, and all the sound went silent, my eyes just stared ahead, and my heart rate picked up. And eventually my mind settled on the implications it held.

Mike walked past me through the hall to his room, his back was turned to me, maybe he was ignoring me, maybe he wasn't, I don't know, but he just walked into his room and shut the door.

I walked down the hallway slowly, and I saw the front door was wide open, and I walked outside, and there she was.

Laying in the grass, lifeless, the leash? It was removed from her neck presumably by my mother, and was laid down beside her.

I went over and knelt down over Snowy, and I reached a hand out to touch her.

Her fur and skin was hot, and her stomach was bloated, which tells me, she was outside for a while. Her mouth was open and her tongue was out and dry, her eyes were open, and around her neck, she was missing little fur and her skin was mildly red, along with some wounds that you would see from burn frictions, and there was blood and snot trickling down her nose, it was dry.

She was dead.

... I would carefully pick her up, brushing off the dirt, dry grass, and guck off of her, and held her close to my chest as I walked back inside. I didn't even get to close the door before I stiffened up, and everything came crashing down. My legs gave out, and I dropped to my knees, clutching my dead dog's body and sobbing into her fur, before I finally gave in, and was full on wailing uncontrollably, I didn't hold back, I didn't resist when my mom came and held onto me while I was on the floor, neither Anthony or Mike got in my way, and they left to go dig a hole.

I wanted to die right then and there when I realized Snowy was gone, and she wasn't coming back. She was one of the only things that kept me happy and sane, she was there for me when I was at my lowest, she was there when I was at my loneliest, more than any of my family ever was. I wanted to kill myself, just like I wanted to a year ago. I wanted to die, and be with my dog, I wanted to kill myself for letting it happen, for letting my mom have her way, and imagining what last moments Snowy had left, spent choking and suffocating on her own leash.

I wanted to hit my mom and Mike, I wanted to scream at them, I wanted to let loose on them, especially my mother, she knew the risk, SHE KNEW ABOUT THE WARNINGS MY DAD GAVE HER, SHE KNEW HOW WORRIED I WAS, SHE KNEW SHE WAS MY DOG AND HOW MUCH SHE FUCKING MEANT TO ME.

Oh, but did she apologize? No, did she say she was wrong? No, never, did she ever take how I felt about Snowy being in the front, in her leash, choking, prior to my father's warnings and my concerns? NO, OF COURSE NOT, SHE'S ALWAYS RIGHT, ISN'T SHE????

I HAD TO HOLD MY FUCKING DOG'S CORSPE IN MY HANDS WHILE SHE HELD ME LIKE IT WAS A TRAGIC ACCIDENT, A POOR POOR UNFORTUNATE EVENT THAT COULD'VE BEEN AVOIDED IF SHE JUST LISTENED TO ME.

Fuck you, 'Mom', Fuck you.

...

I was depressed for the days after her death, I confided in my closest friend on what happened, for reasons, her identity will not be said, but I consider her my Hermana, and I cherish her deeply. I managed to leave the scar my dog's death had inflicted onto me alone, and it patched up on its own once again.

Doesn't mean it not tender.

I was triggered last night my brother/uncle, Dawlson. He and I were relaxing in my mother's room, he was talking to his girlfriend and I working on my math course, we were talking and laughing, and at one point, my new dog, Vanilla (Snowy's daughter from her last batch of kids) was playing around. Dawlson made a small comment, that I particularly didn't pay much mind to.

"(Name), come over here and get responsible with your dog."

Seeing it as silly playfulness with no malicious intent, I responded jokingly:

"Will you with Duke?"

Duke is his dog, a big, black pitbull that I or others usually have to take care of, not him, everyone else in the house, take care of him, not him.

I was laughing when he went silent, and was trying to come up with a defense as he got up and left the room for something, only to come up with:

"And that's why your dog is dead."

I went dead silent as I was left alone in the room, and I had to process what he said to me, and I slid off the bed as he came back in.

He wore a smug smile, until it began to fade away when I stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time, my expression blank, and my stare silent.

"I'm sorry, that was too far."

I grabbed my shit, and was tempted to say more, but I responded coldly.

"Yeah, the only difference between your and my dog is that one of them are dead."

And I left the room, and didn't talk to him for the rest of the night, till I went back to my dad's.

I would've told my mom, but she would defend him, just like she did last time, excuse?

"Hey, don't get upset, that's dark humor!"

No, Maribel, that is just an cruel insult, directed to me and my dead dog, disguised as a joke.

Dawlson and Anthony made that same joke for the time I took care of a kitten, and it died. I was still recovering, and when I said I could handle dark humor during my moment of calm and attempting to cope, I meant something everyone would laugh at, not something where someone else would be mocked and and laughed at for the sake of "Dark humor".

I'm sorry if I sound hypocritical, but when it comes to my idea of "Dark humor", the jokes made are not directed to the people I love and care for, and they are not made to ridicule them or hurt them emotionally or physically, and I sure as hell don't make them personal.

I could've said Dawlson's dog, Duke, should've died or said something much worse and try and pass it off as a joke, I really could've, but I wouldn't, because I see him as my brother and I love him, I wouldn't want to hurt him emotionally like he did me.

Call me an asshole, but if his dog died, and I made fun of him for it, I wouldn't regret it too much, because he would get to learn and know exactly how it felt it was for me, and I had Snowy longer than Dawlson ever had Duke.

Duke almost killed two of our other smaller dogs on two separate occasions, one lost a small chunk of his ear and his bones hurt, and the other? Chocolate? He was bitten in the neck, ragdolled, and bloated in the neck for blood, we had to keep him inside for about a month before we could let him out again. They both almost died. Duke attacked some of our old dogs, including Chocolate, unprovoked. yet Dawlson did nothing aside from feeling guilty, while Duke went unpunished for nearly killing the boys.

So, Dawlson, I mean this in the most logical and blunt way possible.

Snowy meant more to me than your dog ever did, and if I could, I'd put you in my place so you can understand, and know how I feel, so you would never try and put someone else down with something they loved, and lost. Like you did with me.

You don't deserve your dog.

And fuck you too.

I'm most likely talking like this, and am talking so cruelly and cold because I am still sad and bitter from my dog's death, it's only been a month, but I am anything but content, I am angry, and I am hurt, and I am still mourning.

Being the youngest and only biological daughter, with a Mexican mother is hard, especially given many circumstances and double standards, and expectations you are given and are expected to fulfill.

I am sorry.

I ask once more, am I wrong for feeling a certain way, after my 'brother' insulted me and my dead dog so carelessly?

You tell me, please.

[victorluvsalice]

Okay -- with that sorted, we are into the update proper! Let's see how my favorite trio celebrated Egg Day:

-->First things first -- someone had to plant the new items that I’d dropped into the planters! And as Smiler was the one who was both closest and awake (making more mechanisms and computer chips, as they do), they got the job – AFTER they took a moment to try and stop Shock from drinking one of Shadow’s pee puddles right outside the barn doors. Surprise hasn’t quite gotten the message, but at least they stopped drinking that particular puddle? *shakehead* Anyway, Smiler got everything planted and did some watering and weeding – and while the plants haven’t INSTA-grown, like they did the last couple of times I planted something (one of the mods I use to stop things reverting to dirt piles also sometimes made plants grow super-fast), they’re still growing at a pretty decent rate. Soon we’ll have coconuts, pineapples, black beans, soybeans, noxious elderberries, and poison fireleaf to add to our stores of stuff! :D

-->While that was happening, Victor ended up getting up super-early because he was hungry and craved leftover meatballs. I allowed him to have his early breakfast, then sent him outside to try and appease a wandering specter with a jar of lovely honey. The specter wasn’t appreciative of his gift, though, and Victor ended up having to not only avoid the specter, but calm down Surprise when, having recently been called back home from her nocturnal wanderings, she took offense to the specter’s presence. *sigh* Why do specters have to be so hard to appease sometimes...

-->Alice woke up shortly thereafter, and after taking a moment to brush up on her vampire lore (as she’s trying to get two more skills up to 8 to fulfill an aspiration milestone on Renaissance Sim as her New Year's resolution, and that’s an easy skill to level), she had a hankering to go play ping-pong with Victor! Normally I cancel out these interactions (as my Sims are low-key obsessed with the ping-pong table), but this time I was like “Hell with it, go have a game, I’ve got nothing better for you to do.”

And so they did (once Victor was done being stuck at the top of the stairs into the party barn area for some reason)! With Smiler joining them to practice their bar tricks in the background (they've certainly gotten bottle stacking down!). Alice took an early lead at the start, but Victor rallied back after the midpoint, and managed to take the win. I had Alice give Victor a suave victory kiss and a hug after that – and a hand-hold after she got a Want for it. :) They’re so cute~

-->With that done, it was officially time to start both Egg Day and the usual morning chores! Victor Transportalated himself down into the greenhouse to tend the various plants (fulfilling the “Gardening” tradition of the holiday along the way) and check on his bees, while Alice let out a somber howl to keep the Fury in check and did a little egg hunting in the couch (getting a yellow-and-blue-striped decorative egg) before going downstairs to clean off a dirty Moory. Smiler, as usual, flew down to check on the chickens, spreading a little feed for the chicks and telling a few jokes (getting up to Comedy level 8 in the process, nice). Typical Valicer farmhouse stuff!

[narcissistic-delirium]

Today, as I was taking my dog outside, I saw my dad get up and go to the kitchen. Odd, because he's been on bed rest/minimal walking orders for over six months. But whatever, Dog has to pee, so I thought I could investigate later.

Big mistake.

When we came in fifteen minutes later, dad is sitting halfway down our dangerous (to him, at least, because foot wound and balance problems) basement steps, gasping like a fish out of water.

I asked him what he was doing.

Instant rage, and a screamed explanation that Mom told him the furnace burned up, and he needed to fix it. (Mom has been asleep all night, and is still asleep at this point.)

I don't know that I convinced him the furnace was okay. I at least managed to get him to start scooting back up the steps on his butt.

I woke Mom up, because I needed to go to work. I heard them yelling at each other as I left.

I feel bad for waking her up to deal with a shitty situation.

I feel bad leaving her to deal with it alone.

Our basement is filthy (former home to a coal furnace, and we never go down there, so it's covered in black dust and spiders) so dad is now filthy.

I know Mom will want him to shower and change clothes. I also know dad won't.

I know dad will get right back in bed, spreading spider webs and coal dust all over the sheets I managed to wash between him napping this weekend.

I know he will wake up later and accuse Mom of either lying to him about the furnace or doing something to make him so filthy dirty.

What a way to start the day.

It's not even 10am and I already know I don't want to go home later.

[chinahatbeach]

Thoughts for Today

Friday. Aloha Friday…… I am looking forward to the weekend. Big plans….. nope. Taking a nap, maybe. I just have today to get through and then, the couch calls my name. A hot cup of tea, snuggly blanket, and my doggos.

Yesterday was a tiring day. By the time I got home, had something to eat, and watched a bit of tv, I was done. Somedays wear you out more than others.

I find that the one company I work for grates on me. They are so unorganized. I asked for Comet cleaner in December and finally got it last night. My new boss called me to tell me that a fellow from the company would make a delivery to the jobsite. I was across the street working at a different company and cleaning there. The fellow showed up with two bottles of Comet liquid cleanser. I shall use it sparingly as I have no clue if I’ll get any in the near future.

Today’s adventure is cleaning for a new customer. She had broken her hip and can’t do things. She has 5 or 6 cats and can’t clean the cat litter. Think about that…….and use your nose for those thoughts. Hazmat suit comes to my mind. I’ve cleaned cat litter that was more like cement. Take that litter pan outside and put the whole mess in the garbage can. The garbage man would have a hard time lifting it. Cement I tell you. Urine odor. Tootsie Rolls of epic proportion.

Over the years, I remember the jobs that would make most people gag. I have a top ten of putrid homes. Most of those came along when I cleaned apartments for a living. Oh, the sights I have seen.

Number one worst was Alice’s townhome. She was a neighbor of ours when we lived off of Mahama Way. She had mental issues but was the sweetest lady. She had cats and a dog. The cats peed up against the kitchen cabinets, the walls, and most everywhere. The rug stuck to the molding along the wall due to the amount of pee. The washer leaked and ruined the floor. The stench was overwhelming. No one else would work for us to help us remove the carpeting and do needed repairs. And we also had another person who lived in another townhome who lived with two dogs who urinated and pooped all over the downstairs carpeting. Her downstairs toilet leaked and was sinking into the floor. Her refrigerator had an ungodly amount of black mold. And these folks never notified management of any issues.

I’ve dealt with poopy diapers left behind when people moved out. I’ve seen maggot ridden food left behind. Plugged toilets…. apples do not flush. Tooth brushes and toys do not flush.

After typing up about those horrid jobs, I should write a book on the horrible things I have seen. It would be titled, “Why Clean Your House?”

At least I haven’t found dead bodies at homes but then again, anything is possible. One apartment manager told me his horrible story of having a tenant who was a great tenant…… she always paid her rent before it was due, never was loud, but……….. one day she just moved and didn’t say a thing. He didn’t get her rent and wondered why. After the necessary time and paperwork filed, he went into the apartment. Dead cats and a dead dog. Knee deep worth of poop all over the entire apartment. The oven was left open and a dead cat was in it. He told me it took him a week of working eight hours a day to remove the filth. He had to change his coveralls nightly due to the stench he picked up.

After you have just read some of the horrendous things I have seen, you know why I like things neat and tidy. I watch YouTube videos on how to clean more efficiently. There are great videos on how to make your own cleaning products. I love using lemons to clean along with lavender. Baking soda is a great cleanser and it doesn’t have a scent. Scrubs up stuff very well. Dawn dishwashing liquid is a favorite. A drop of it along with vinegar and water does a great job. And no, I don’t use newspaper to wash windows……. I don’t read newspapers and I find it to be more mess than it’s worth it. I do dilute Windex as it’s too strong and you don’t need it that strong. My favorite products are Dr. Bonner’s Soaps and cleaner. They have one called “Sal Suds Biodegradable Cleaners”. One tablespoon per one quart of water to clean with and it does make a lot from one container. One half of a teaspoon per gallon of water to mop the floor. Why spend money on fancy stuff that wastes money.

Well, I better go and get ready to hit the trenches of dirt and grime. If you have questions on how to clean something, send it. I like saving other folks money and help them do the dirty work. But then again, I like getting paid to do the dirty work. Nothing feels better than to revive a dirty shower and see it sparkle.

And that’s the way it is………….

[darkmarkets]

The Horrors of NaNoWriMo

So, let's talk about that gory maggot-infested undead elephant in the room: National Novel Writing Month.

We might as well talk about it, because everyone else is. From Time Magazine to Salon, the Washington Post to Wired, the internet is very interested in why you should or should not try to write a novel in one month. Some of these literary pundits (or litdits, if you will) claim NaNoWriMo will be the death of literary publishing altogether. Others herald the egalitarian motives of NaNoWriMo, applauding the event for giving everyone, regardless of talent or spelling ability, the chance to be an author for a little while, hence promoting peace and goodwill. And if you listen to the internet, you might start to think the very fate of humanity rests on our tiny little typing fingers.

Don't worry; it doesn't.

Historically, I've been on both sides of the issue. I have violently rallied against and peacefully protested for the yearly writing event. Maybe that's why I'm able to look at NaNoWriMo with such a bipartisan viewpoint—there are pros and cons, rights and lefts, and what works for one writer may be hideous, spine-shattering torture for another. So, before I follow in the footsteps of my fellow litdits and tell you what you should or should not write, let's take a moment look at our options.

Option 1: Partake in the most publicized mass writing event in the Northern Hemisphere by attempting to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

Pro: It's fun to be insane.

Con: Anyone who tries this goes insane. Now, the term insane does not equate to bad writer, it simply indicates a lack of sanity that may or may not leave an individual babbling at the bottom of the shower at four in the morning with a spatula in one hand and the cat's litter box in the other. Of course there are going to be bad writers doing NaNoWriMo, but that's hardly the point—the point is losing oneself in sheer creative abandon, regardless of the consequences. That's always a good time.

Well, okay; it's an entertaining time. We probably shouldn't call it good. I've done this, by the way, and I was so insane that I managed 120,000 words in six weeks, but now I can hardly keep cookware in my house and my cat really hates me for making her go outside.

Option 2: Write as per normal.

Pro: Writing like normal.

Con: Writing like normal. If writers have anything in common, it's that tiny voice in the back of our heads telling us we should be writing right now. It is that unrelenting urge, that nagging feeling we are never relieved of. To satisfy it, we must shutter ourselves away from polite civilization and bang on a keyboard until our fingers are bruised and bloody, producing a piece of art that, most likely, no one but us will enjoy. But nothing truly makes that terrible voice go away. And, that's as it should be. 

The people I call Real Writerstm are the ones who are constantly banging away at odd hours of the morning, toiling over words, making any and all excuses they need to write even if they can only cram in one sentence a day between brushing their teeth and taking a pee. Those Real Writers are the ones who crave words every day of the year, whether it means they get a whole chapter done or just a measly line of dialogue. It doesn't matter what they do or don't publish, what genre they like, or how many critics think their story was "well-written." Writers write. Even when it's not November.

So, at the end of the day (or month, what have you), it actually doesn't matter whether or not you participate in NaNoWriMo because, as a writer, you're going to go utterly insane either way. At least in November we can all be nutjobs together, in a sense of morbid thanksgiving and goodwill. And spatulas.

Lorna D Keach

[gyroshrike]

And because I have become obsessed with this poll for reasons unknown, I feel the NEED to share my litterbox set up.

I'm very much an "out of sight, out of mind" person, so if I don't have regular access to the litterbox, it will become too easy for me to ignore and I'll neglect it really badly. Cleaning it in general is such an energy taxing task for me, that I have to make it as easy as possible because otherwise, I will not do it.

Plus, having it in a high traffic area like the bedroom or living room puts much needed pressure on me to make sure it stays clean. Or at least make it easier to try. Because I don't want to smell it and I don't want guests to smell it. Only option for my brain is to clean it! (And I still manage to not do it as often as I'd like, but I'm better than I used to be.)

(Don't mind our fancy looking litterbox. I got it to minimize litter spillage and so I can keep more litter in it at a time. Deeper litter means the pee is less likely to stick to the bottom! And isn't it just really pretty???)

The important thing here is the trash can. A small trash can like this can hold a LOT of waste—and I feel like my cat pees a lot. Getting a bag, holding the bag open, and having to carry it to the bigger trashcan (outside usually to avoid putting it in the household trashcan,) is also super annoying and way too many steps for me to do on a regular basis, so having really close access to something I can just quick scoop into and not have to take out every single time makes a big difference for me.

The lid is crucial. That's what's going to contain most if not all of the smell. When the lid is closed tight over the can and bag, I've had no issues with smell unless you get your face right by it.

If you want to get a little fancier, you can also buy a sticky little air freshener to put on the inside of the lid. (Mine was old, so I don't have one right now, but this is where I put it.) I feel it made a difference!

At one point, I even kept the litterbox very close to the cat's food bowl, so every time I fed her, I would also just give it a quick scoop into the trash can. Having it right there turned the two tasks almost into one and cleaning it that often meant there was only ever, at most, a few things to scoop.

And for those if you lamenting over smell even if you clean it often, there is a chance you might need a different litter! When I started buying litter for my cat, I experimented with a bunch of different ones and felt that there really IS a difference between brands and how much smell they hold. (I don't think there's a litter than can completely get rid of smell, obviously though.)

my mom refuses to make this post so I'm gonna make it instead:

[jinbejeweled]

Now That I Have You, I'm Never Letting You Go.

Confessions and a Bitter Rejection

TW: Homphobia, use of harmful words, stalking, and... I think that's it. Leave a comment if there's more. I'm sorry this is my first time.

Isn't proofread

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He let him borrow his pen.

It started when M/N borrowed Will's pen. Will felt a sudden spark when his index touched the other's hand. It's this electricity of love running through his veins and reaching for his heart. This is a feeling he had felt before... Before leaving Hawkins, Indiana.

The first spark he felt had died out easily. Now that it radiates for a new beginning, he won't let it burn out again.

And so it begins.

The start of his obsession.

M/N asked Will to be his friend, since he's new here in Lenora Hills and he's the only one that talked to him before he gained popularity from how great he was in sports and his looks. They stayed close friends even he's in Angela's group now. He always protects Will and Jane from Angela, which leads to him and her fighting. Although they're always fighting (because of Will and Jane), they somehow manage to make it up to each other. It made the two kinda sad how Angela and M/N were hanging out more than often, especially to the one whose feelings were growing bigger and bigger day by day. 

Will

He follows M/N every time, during lunch break. If he's not in front of his table, he'll look for him. In the cafeteria, outside the school, his locker, anywhere; and if he finds him, he'll take his camera out that he 'borrowed ' from Jonathan and snap a few for him to look at in every night before he sleeps.

When M/N goes to the restroom he'll go too, secretly. Hopefully, M/N doesn't notice this and just went for his pee, not knowing Will is inside the next stall with his camera in his hands, ready to take a pic of M/N leaving.

Of course it's gonna be M/N leaving, Will doesn't wanna invade his privacy by taking a peek, he's not a pervert, just creepy.

It took 7 minutes before M/N left the room to continue eating his lunch, leaving a frozen-flustered Will Byers in the next door.

He heard all of it

The bell rang and It's now their English class. The teacher in front called for M/N, asking him a question; which he answered right away. He's that smart alright.

Will let out a dreamy sigh as he put his elbow on his desk, his soft palm bending when it hit his chin softly, his fingers resting on the side of his cheek. While his other hand is tapping his desk quietly.

Will can still hear the noises M/N made back in the bathroom, and it's distracting him. M/N's beautiful features is now Will's focus. He's dazed. Daydreaming. Frick, M/N's features are for men to admire for, women to thirst for, and for Will to long for; to yearn for; and to DESIRE for. 

"William Byers!" Their teacher yelled at him.

Will panicked, heart stopping.

"Y-yes?" His eyes focused on him as he stutters.

"Listen" His teacher said.

With that, Will let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He swallowed the knot in his throat, embarrassing. It's fine, at least he can look at M/N again with their teacher knowing he's listening when in reality, he's not.

The two both continued what their doing, him teaching and Will admiring... From afar.

...Under a Tree...

Will, you know, you're such a great person. I like you because of that. You're so pure, unique, and just you, Will. I swear dude, you're the kindest person in the world- if not, left in the world. I would kill for you, just so you stay innocent. I lo- What, you're laughing now? Is that funny? Come here! Will! W-Will stop! Oh my God Will for fuck's sake stop! You'll regret this. Gotcha!

  B-be who you are Byers, I love you.

He's the one.

Days have passed, his usual stare from afar slowly turned to stare-from-everywhere-he-goes. Usually, his love letters could only be found inside M/N's locker. Now, even on his bedside table-which is next to his window-have love letters on it.

The letters are short, and cute. Most of them are just compliments from how cool he is, or how good he was playing or training.

That's the inside of each letters M/N received, until Will started doing things- stalking him.

He's like a camera, a surveillance one to be specific. Will has M/N monitored.

When he's in the cafe, he'll be there too; sipping a hot brew; When he's in his room doing rad boy shit, he'll be by his window; snapping a few photos. One time he almost got caught because of his camera, it flashed M/N a shining white light behind his window which he turned to as fast as he can and only saw a brown bowl-shaped hair floating before it disappeared.

Now that classes are done for the day, M/N immediately left the room with excitement plastered on his face. Will saw it and he stood up, packing his things before he leaves.

"Watch it, fairy boy!"

Fuck, his case.

'ow'  Will muttered, his pens dropping.

'screw you, Angela'

He said under his breath while picking his pens. He noticed that he's missing one and that lights up an idea in his head. He remembers giving his favorite pencil to M/N, his favorite one with his initials that, Will himself, engrave it to. Everyday, every time, he have that pencil tucked to his pockets. It's so special, no one can even borrow it from him; not even his mom, Jonathan, or El.

'No Angela, I'm sorry.'

Smiling to himself, he quickens. He can use this opportunity to see what M/N's reaction's gonna be. He really hopes he's happy with it again.

Hello?

Once he made his way to his locker, he saw M/N flipping through the letters that he'd place.

Today's letters are a lot, mentioning everything that had happened to M/N yesterday.

Hey,

Last night, I went to this super duper dope party with my brother, and when I tell you the butterflies in my tummy exploded, I mean it! I mean, you're so freaking hot and handsome and all. When I saw you there, I feel like burning up. I can feel my face getting hot suddenly. I'm not expecting you to be here. I thought you don't go to parties that much... cause I know you... okay not really. I wish to see you smile like that every day. You're so cool. I hope one day I can dance with you, and you only but I can't... I just can't :( . I love you so much, I want to touch you. After you left, I told Jonathan that I was going to walk back home. Guess what? I lied! I followed you to your home!! I was worried something might happen to you since you're drunk and you're walking alone down the dim lighted street. I wanted to surprise you that time, wanted to hold your hand and kiss you under the streetlight. Screw you, I'm drunk in l̶o̶v̶e̶ you! Imagine me catching you and then we had a romantic scene... GOSH! I want you so bad M/N. You look cute with your messy hair M/N. I wanted to play with it, unfortunately you were sleeping. I don't want to wake you from your sleep although I wanted to touch you; feel you so bad. You looked gorgeous. You're too cute... so cute! See you next time or I'll write to you next time.

Oh, and also, I left some pills on your bedside table just in case. Bye!

Love,

Furious

He made it, he finished that fucking letter. He didn't know how, but he did, he fucking did. He wants to burn it now, tear it to pieces, feed it to the stalker. His brows are furrowed and his knuckles are turning white as the piece of paper in his hands crumpled. He is mad, mad that someone can follow him that easy. It's unbelievable, stalkers are real? Now that he has one on his tail, fuck he's creeped out right now.

He was lost in his thoughts until he heard a loud bang. Is someone having a bad time? He doesn't know 'til he looked. Will. Will is somehow crying?

' hey, Byers! '

Regret

Will shuts the his locker door loudly, not caring anymore. He clings his hand to the strap of his bag and just walked. He walks away, his face messed with tears. When M/N called for his name the bad omen disappeared. He tried his best to not look back, but he failed.

He stopped for a moment, wiping his tears with his shirt.

"Hey, Will, I forgot to return this to you. I'm really sorry that it took a whole fucking week tho."

He explained, letting out a chuckle. God, Will love that chuckle so much, especially when he paired it with his blinding smile. He had heard and seen it many times and it never fails to make him cream his pants.

Will looked back, his head low, he grabbed his pen and tucked it inside his pocket.

"Oh, yeah, d-don't worry about it. It's fine."

M/N notices Will's face, his eyes red.

"Thanks, I thought- wait, are you crying? Y-you can tell me what happened? Will?" Hesitation was in between his sentences.

Will quickly turned his whole body around, he wants to run.

"N-no! I'm not, just... it's just the wind. See ya' "

he stuttered, completely flustered.

"Wait, Will!"

He walked faster, as M/N's voice fades

Regret?

Once he got home the first thing he did was lock himself in his room. Recalling the events that had happened this day.

He then doubted, doubted himself that all the things he did for M/N were nothing. Wait, was that real? Was M/N worried about him? He asked if he's crying and begged him to tell the reason why, so was he?... Asking him what's happening is enough proof that he loves him and he didn't mean to crush his letter right? right?!

Will was losing his mind, the thoughts of M/N caring for him and M/N being disgusted at him simultaneously is overwhelming the poor Will. Right now, he's trying to convince himself that M/N loves him.

The train of thought has come to a halt, when Joyce called him for dinner. After this day ends, he'll know the truth if he truly loves him... or... or... if he hates him.

Confession

It's time.

High school is coming to an end, he needs to confess right now. He already told Jane that he's gonna walk home. She hesitated at first but he insists.

'It's now or never, Will. It's now or never.' He murmured under his breath, while the worry in his face lessens, his smile growing; showing his teeth. It's all set, his bag is ready which is filled with things he'll need for plan b, the abandoned house that's for plan b too, and his words. His words that magically disappears whenever he's speaking to M/N is now sealed in his mind. He practiced okay? 

Will spent the rest of the day finishing some letters saying to meet him in the back of the school after. Now, he's slipping his bare letters inside M/N's locker.

1st step is done, all he needs to do is wait for him behind the said building and confess his feelings and how he represented it. The thought of him explaining that he's the one who wrote all of that love letters–remembering what happened–sends shivers down his spine.

30 minutes had passed, Will switched between pacing and fiddling. He's getting anxious minute by minute.

'Is M/N coming? What if he didn't come, what am I gonna do?'

"What if-s" filled Will's brain. Screw this.

It's been 35 minutes, where the hell is he?

That's it, Will's gonna find him himself.

He stomped over the door leading to the school's hallway. Once the door had opened the first thing he saw was the one he was looking for. Oh! Is he gonna go this way? Ah, he turned west from Will's point of view.

Back to his ways, Will followed M/N.

"M/N, wait!"

He said in the most adorable way.

"Wait, wait!"

The hell? Is M/N that fast?

The latter looked back, smiling after he saw Will.

"Will? Hey, Will what's up?"

The mention of his name splashed pink on his face.

"M/N..."

"Will..."

He mocked Will, laughing after. 

"M/N"

"Will!"

The two continued.

"M/N.."

"Will, yes!?"

Will is somewhat inside a daze, his gaze is hazy, mind feeling crazed that he repeatedly chants the person's name, the one who's making his brain rave. It has put in a halt when M/N shook him with his hand.

"Yes, Will, what is it?!" 

"C-come, follow me"

He grabbed the hand on his shoulder and led him to where he was. The two followed Will's track, leading them to the metal door. Behind the door is where Will was waiting. Will opened the heavy door, exiting the school walls. 

M/N stayed quiet the whole walk, he felt his hand getting gripped harder. 

Will let loose of M/N's hand; which he already misses. 

"How do I say this..."

"Say what?"

M/N finally talked

"I... M/N, promise me to not freak out."

"Alright, what's... this? Why are we here, dude?"

"I'm gonna confess something, but promise me to not freak out? Please?"

"Wait, wait, wait, you're gonna confess? Confess what? That you're the one who's sending me those fucking letters?"

He joked, laughing between words.

He has been telling this stalking incident he's having to Will, that's why Will is so tensed right now.

"Huw-wh-what?! No!.. I'm.. I'M NOT- haah yes... Yes, M/n. I'm in love with you! I love you since that day you took my pen, and we started hanging out."

He paused, seeing M/N shocked he continued.

 "I felt a.. a connection to you that day and y- you're always defending me from that son of a cow Angela and-and if it's not hot then what is it?. I never felt the need to be protected before. You're always there to save me, you're like a s-superhero- MY superhero! I adore you so much, you're so smart and so good with- with sports! Like, how can you not be a f-freaking himbo! You're well built and smart h-how are u keeping it up?  Those are a few reasons why I'm deeply in love with you. You're so cool, always! M/N d-do you remember you said that y-you love me? You still love me right? And yeah! I'm your 'supposedly' stalker who's sending you those fricking letters!"

He blurted out, a breathe of fresh air, fresh from the burden he just let go of. It's like relief kissed him goodnight on the cheeks, not until M/N's unexpected confutation.

"You're unhinged... YOU'RE UNHINGED! YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY!"

He spits his words on Will's face. Will's nervous smile vanished.

"N-no! I'm not crazy." He defended, quietly.

"I really thought you're my fucking friend who's all innocent and naive about shit but no, Will. You're not!"

"I am! I promise–"

"No! You're not! Stop lying, you're all cuckoo in the head yeah? You're insane. A fucking crazy man!"

"M/N, I swear I'm not crazy–"

"Really?! You're not CRAZY for giving me letters ABOUT following me, for wanting to touch me, and how much you're obsessed, ha Will?! YOU'RE NOT CRAZY FOR THAT?!"

"Yes, yes I'm not you know why–"

"WHY, BYERS?? WHY!?"

M/N cuts Will off, demanding him.

"...because...because..."

"See? You don't even know why... I'm fucking off. Don't fucking show your face to me tomorrow, Byers."

Backing away, he turned around. He tried to go to the door but Will shouted. His face a mess, tear stained Will's beautiful face from the all the wiping he did.

"Could, could you just try to listen!?"

M/N turned around, stomping to Will.

He stayed furiously silent. If this was animated, you'll see smoke coming from his nose now.

M/N's arms are crossed, his biceps bulging through his shirt. His foot tapping the hard ground.

Will gulped before speaking.

"Because I love you! I love you M/N! I love you okay. Don't you understand?! I- I won't follow someone and won't write a whole dang letter for them if that doesn't mean I love them!"

Will stated.

"Fuck, haha you're more freakier than I actually thought."

His arms uncrossing.

"Freakier? FREAKIER!?What do you mean I'm more freakier than you thought!?"

"I had—well I thought I had—pushed the thought of you being the fucking fairy kid everyone here is saying, but they're right, you're a fucking fag, Byers! You're disgusting!"

M/N can see Will's eyes getting teary. He bursted out at Will, screamed at his face, pointed at him hard that it hits Will's chest making him grunt, and he hurt his feelings. The tears that's threatening to fall had fell, staining his red face. The face of the boy he cherished.

The word... the word "freak" and the slur he just received from the man he adored so much stirred a different feeling in his stomach. How could he do this to him?

His very best friend, his first friend here, and his Will is crying. His dearest friend is now breaking down in front of him.

"Y-yeah, cry! Cry all you want you piece of shit!"

He couldn't endure the pain hitting him so he painfully turned his back at him again.

"I don't wanna see your fucking face, Byers."

He left, heading towards the heavy metal door, leaving William behind.

——————————————————————

Hey so I'll post the part 2 Hehe... Idk when

[jiminzfilter]

slow dancing in the night

→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader

→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing

→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?

→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)

→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)

→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook

Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.

Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.

Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.

Yeah, it was exhausting.

This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.

It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.

He is not working today.

That lucky bastard.

He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.

You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.

You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.

Okay no. Let’s be real.

You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.

It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.

Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.

Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.

But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.

I mean.

Who could blame you ??

That was Kim frEaking Taehyung

!!!

He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.

It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie

Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.

First day of work and you’re already failing falling.

That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily

If only

The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.

GreaT

He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.

From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)

After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.

So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.

He was still your best friend...somehow

Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life

And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.

8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.

Especially while wearing heels

Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said

“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”

You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”

“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”

You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”

The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.

Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.

After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.

Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.

It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.

It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.

A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.

Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss

It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)

You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…

It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.

Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…

:(

You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”

There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.

Weird…

“Taehyung ?" You call one last time

Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back

“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”

You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.

“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.

Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.

“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles

“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”

“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him

“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.

You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.

After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.

Once again, you smell lavender all around you.

When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt

“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.

“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”

“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”

Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.

As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.

oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.

Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.

Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.

The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀

“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”

He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.

You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.

“Hi there beautiful” He whispers

“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising

“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”

You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.

You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.

“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along

“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.

“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.

Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”

If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.

As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”

You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.

“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks

“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.

“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”

He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck

“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.

- You do?

- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?

- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat

“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge

“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”

“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open

what did he sayyyyyyyy?????

whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd

You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.

There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.

“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”

This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?

Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.

He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple

OkaY

now he’s being a tease

Great

1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung

gReAT

Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.

Really.good.freaking.turn.on

Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.

“Tae…”

He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.

“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”

You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-

“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.

It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.

You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.

You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.

“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks

“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply

He laughs, deep raspy laugh.

You’re too tired for this

And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D

Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.

He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.

Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.

[goldenboybridgers]

He stays dancing with Leo for a while, fully enveloped in the moment, the music, her company. It's a wonderful time and he loves to watch her horrible dancing, listen to her beautiful voice as they belt lyrics out to each other. As laughter dies down for a moment and Elliot is pulling her off to the side, he flashes a bit of a tense smile, already feeling awkward again. Silence while Leo and Elliot take a moment to chat, to dance, and he's slipping slowly out of the crowd to the restroom. Just to pee, he tries to tell himself. But there's an itch creeping up the back of his neck that he's struggling to ignore...

As ze trails out of the bathroom, ze jumps with surprise when Leo catches up right outside. Eyes are slightly wide when ze views her and ze gives a small laugh of embarrassment. Ze looks away quickly, then, hoping she doesn't notice the glassy look in zir eyes.

"Oh, yeah?" A slight sniffle, rubbing at his eye and glancing up towards the stage. "I didn't know you cared about that sort of thing..."

It was around the moment he's saying this that his name is spoken loudly on the speakers and a spotlight hits him from where he's stood with Leo. He squints sharply at the sudden light, wincing and holding up a hand to try and block it. A tight-lipped smile, easily putting on face when the attention is very suddenly placed on him. He feigns shock, fakes it well along with the excitement and enthusiasm everyone expects from a winner, though his signature shyness is bleeding through as well and getting some "aww"s from girls close enough to notice.

Ze has to turn away slightly on zir way up, trying to conceal a sneeze against zir hands and managing to trip slightly on the way up the steps. Apparently none of this is deterring from giving zem such an honour, though. All the girls--and even some of the boys--are screaming for zem like a crowd of adoring fans. He can't help but laugh a little when he reaches the top, sees them all swooning and cheering. His eyes fall immediately on Leo, though, a hand pressing to his heart and then blowing a kiss to her.

"Um...Wow. This is...Thank you very much, I'm--" Lips purse slightly, shaking zir head shyly. A hand pushes zir fringe back from zir face. Ze shifts from foot to foot, having trouble staying still whether from nerves or drugs. He clears his throat anxiously.

"You know, I don't usually care much about things like this...Back home, we didn't really...do things like this." A shrug. "But I have to say...While you all do look lovely tonight, there's no one here that could possibly take the title of prom queen from my own eyes than Leo." A hand stretches out to gesture toward where she's standing, a warm smile on his lips. His heart is pounding, but he wouldn't step down until he got to at least give her credit.

"Doesn't she look stunning? Who would've thought I'd ever end up with someone that lovely, eh?" They crowd cheers Despite the looks given to them earlier, people seem genuinely happy at Aura's words, impressed by his humility and finding his love for Leo adorable.

The thumping music drowns out whatever ze is trying to say as she leaves the booth. There’s a clear shake in her hands from her nerves – and as soon as ze is out she’s running off to the dancefloor. She’s a terrible dancer, no rhythm or skill in that aspect, but at least she sings well. And she’s having fun, and doing so sober, which is somewhat remarkable.

After a while Elliot pulls her away to distract her for a bit. There’s an obvious amount of tension lingering between himself and Aura, but luckily no drama comes of it. After he’s stolen her for two songs and offered her an enormous amount of drugs which have all been turned down, she’s back searching for Aura again.

“There you are!” She grins, grabbing him by the hand when she spots him coming out of the bathroom. “I was looking for you! They’re about to announce prom court!” Of course she already knew Aura would win – everybody did.